I’ve never really posted on a forum but I just need to know if anyone else relates or has any type of insight/advice here. I will say that I have OCD, am AFAB, pansexual (20s) and I am set to see a trauma psychologist very soon.
I was very adamant with family about being seen as boys from some show but it was on and off. I remember having a crush on them but I can’t understand why I also wanted to be them. When I hit puberty I started pretending to be a guy where I felt safe enough to. I was okay to be a girl sometimes I feel like despite being unhappy with insecurities, but I had this inexplicable confidence when I was presenting myself as a guy. I am prone to both maladaptive daydreaming and dissociation, and I’ve been doing it all my life.
I had an upbringing that was extremely toxic so there’s no telling what has been pushed onto me. I have felt like a lot of the years of imagining myself as a male I both wanted to be and to be with was me trying to nurture some father wound, because I would imagine myself as a male nurturing the female version of myself, I just hardly knew her. I’ve rarely dissociated as a woman, but there are countless times where I’ll compare myself to women to see if I’m desirable in stereotypical ways.
I dated girls when I was younger and presented as a male, but part of me felt like I was so obsessed with being this cool, attractive guy that I put up a front. I felt I had to be tough and a certain way, so when I got so tired of being that, my feelings of masculinity would crumble and there was that vulnerable girl.
I chose to go by they/them, telling myself that I only wanted to be masculine presenting because I didn’t feel attractive as a woman. But somehow this desire keeps coming back. I see I have some gender dysphoria, but I keep feeling like I’m just faking everything and putting on a mask to feel better about myself.
I see my chest when I look masculine in the face and hair and I just kind of sigh but I’m not in distress. I think I would like to feel/do many things as a man, but I’m scared I’m mistaking this for something else underneath. If I could’ve been born a man I would be glad because then I’d have it all already and I guess maybe I’d be content, I don’t know. I know I feel disappointment and sadness with the idea that I possibly don’t really want to be one.
TLDR; I keep getting confused on whether me dissociating as a male character through my life is only because I find them attractive or I truly want to be male/masculine presenting. I feel different because it doesn’t always feel like my natural self, I just think I wish it was but I sometimes feel like I’m forcing.

It goes without saying that everyone in this sub knows why most women pick bears over men in this debate, and this video perfectly sums up all the talking points, imo. The fact this simple question upsets most men says more about them than the women who pick bears. I'm a man myself too, and I couldn't care less if women pick bears over me. I understand where they are coming from. If society treats women better like taking their SA stories more seriously or educating men on women's SA experiences, then none of these debates would have happened in the first place. If you haven't watched the video yet, I highly recommend it. For those who have watched the video, what are your thoughts on this video?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCzJYILyE6s&t=1565s

The defense and the prosecution today made their closing statements in the New York criminal case against Trump for falsifying business records to hide a $130,000 payment to adult film actress Stephanie Clifford, also known as Stormy Daniels. The payment was intended to stop her account of her sexual encounter with Trump from becoming public in the days before the 2016 election, when the Trump campaign was already reeling from the Access Hollywood tape showing Trump boasting of sexual assault.
The Biden-Harris campaign showed up at the trial today with veteran actor Robert DeNiro and former police officers Michael Fanone and Harry Dunn, who protected the U.S. Capitol and members of Congress from rioters on January 6, 2021. In words seemingly calculated to get under Trump’s skin, DeNiro said, “We New Yorkers used to tolerate him when he was just another grubby real estate hustler masquerading as a big shot,” and called him a coward.
When Robert Costa of CBS News asked campaign spokesperson Michael Tyler why they had shown up at the trial, Tyler answered: “Because you all are here. You’ve been incessantly covering this day in and day out, and we want to remind the American people ahead of the…first debate on June 27 of the unique, persistent, and growing threat that Donald Trump poses to the American people and to our democracy. So since you all are here, we’re here communicating that message.”
Yesterday, in remarks at Arlington National Cemetery in observance of Memorial Day, President Joe Biden honored “the sacrifice of the hundreds of thousands of women and men who’ve given their lives for this nation. Each one…a link in the chain of honor stretching back to our founding days. Each one bound by common commitment—not to a place, not to a person, not to a President, but to an idea unlike any idea in human history: the idea of the United States of America.”
“[F]reedom has never been guaranteed,” Biden said. “Every generation has to earn it; fight for it; defend it in battle between autocracy and democracy, between the greed of a few and the rights of many…. And just as our fallen heroes have kept the ultimate faith with our country and our democracy, we must keep faith with them,” he said.
His speech at Arlington echoed the message he delivered to this year’s graduating class at the United States Military Academy at West Point, where he urged the graduates to hold fast to their oaths. “On your very first day at West Point, you raised your right hands and took an oath—not to a political party, not to a president, but to the Constitution of the United States of America—against all enemies, foreign and domestic,” he said to applause. Soldiers “have given their lives for that Constitution. They have fought to defend the freedoms that it protects: the right to vote, the right to worship, the right to raise your voice in protest. They have saved and sacrificed to ensure, as President Lincoln said, a ‘government of the people, by the people, and for the people shall not perish from the Earth.’”
“[N]othing is guaranteed about our democracy in America. Every generation has an obligation to defend it, to protect it, to preserve it, to choose it,” he said. “Now, it’s your turn.” Biden spent more than an hour saluting and shaking the hand of each graduate.
In contrast, Trump ushered in Memorial Day with a post on his social media company, saying: “Happy Memorial Day to All, including the Human Scum that is working so hard to destroy our Once Great Country, & to the Radical Left, Trump Hating Federal Judge in New York that presided over, get this, TWO separate trials, that awarded a woman, who I never met before (a quick handshake at a celebrity event, 25 years ago, doesn’t count!), 91 MILLION DOLLARS for “DEFAMATION.” He then continued to attack E. Jean Carroll, the writer who successfully sued him for defamation, before turning to attack Judge Arthur Engoron, who presided over the civil case of Trump and the Trump Organization falsifying documents, and Judge Juan Merchan, who is presiding over the current criminal case in New York.
The message behind this extraordinary post was twofold: Trump can think of nothing but himself…and he appears to be terrified.
On Saturday, May 25, Trump had an experience quite different from his usual reception at rallies of hand-picked supporters. He was resoundingly booed at the national convention of the Libertarian Party in Washington, D.C., where Secret Service agents confiscated squeaky rubber chickens before his speech. Attendees jeered Trump’s order, “You have to combine with us,” even when he reminded them of his libertarian credentials—tax cuts and defunding of federal equality programs—and promised to pardon the January 6 rioters who attacked the U.S. Capitol.
Trump also promised to pardon Ross Ulbricht, who founded and from January 2011 to October 2013 ran an online criminal marketplace called Silk Road, where more than $200 million in illegal drugs and other illicit goods and services, such as computer hacking, were bought and sold. Most of the sales were of drugs, with the Silk Road home page listing nearly 13,000 options, including heroin, cocaine, ecstasy, and LSD. The wares were linked to at least six deaths from overdose around the world. In May 2015, Ulbricht was sentenced to life in prison and was ordered to forfeit more than $180 million.
Libertarians want Ulbricht released because they support drug legalization on the grounds that people should be able to make their own choices and they see Ulbricht’s sentence as government overreach. Trump has repeatedly called for the death penalty for drug dealers, making his promise to pardon Ulbricht an illustration of just how badly he thinks he needs the support of Libertarian voters. But they refused to endorse him.
Trump appeared angry, and on Sunday, as Greg Sargent reported in The New Republic, he reposted a video of a man raging at MSNBC host Joe Scarborough. In it, the man says that when Trump is reelected: “He’ll get rid of all you f*cking liberals. You liberals are gone when he f*cking wins. You f*cking blowjob liberals are done. Uncle Donnie’s gonna take this election—landslide. Landslide, you f*cking half a blowjob. Landslide. Get the f*ck out of here, you scumbag.”
Trump’s elevation of this video, Sargent notes, is a dangerous escalation of his already violent rhetoric, and yet it has gotten very little media attention.
Last November, Matt Gertz of Media Matters reported that ABC News, CBS News, and NBC News provided 18 times more coverage of 2016 Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton’s comment at a fundraising event that “you could put half of Trump’s supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables” who are “racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic,” than they provided of Trump’s November 2023 promise to “root out the communist, Marxist, fascist and the radical left thugs that live like vermin within the confines of our country.”
CNN, the Fox News Channel, and MSNBC mentioned the “deplorables” comment nearly 9 times more than Trump’s “vermin” language. The ratio for the five highest-circulating U.S. newspapers was 29:1.
Clinton’s statement was consistent with polling, and she added that the rest of Trump’s supporters were “people who feel that the government has let them down, the economy has let them down, nobody cares about them, nobody worries about what happens to their lives and their futures, and they’re just desperate for change.” She said: “Those are people we have to understand and empathize with as well.”
Sargent noted that news stories require context and that Trump’s elevation of the violent video should be placed alongside his many threats to prosecute his enemies. While there is often concern over disrespect toward right-wing voters, Sargent writes, there has been very little attention to the presumptive Republican presidential nominee’s posting of “a video that declares a large ideological subgroup of Americans ‘done’ and ‘gone’ if he is elected.”
Scott MacFarlane of CBS News reported yesterday that Republicans have ignored a law passed in March 2022 requiring the placement of a small plaque honoring police officers who protected the U.S. Capitol and the lawmakers and staffers there on January 6, 2021. It was supposed to be in place by March 2023 but has not gone up. A spokesperson for House speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) says his office is working on it. Kayla Tausche of CNN reported today that three of the police officers at the Capitol that day—Sergeant Aquilino Gonell and Officer Harry Dunn, both retired, and Officer Daniel Hodges, who is still with the Washington, D.C., metropolitan police—will be traveling to swing states for the Biden campaign to tell voters that Trump threatens Americans’ fundamental rights.
Finally, today, Melinda French Gates, co-founder of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, announced $1 billion in new spending over the next two years “for people and organizations working on behalf of women and families around the world, including on reproductive rights in the United States.” Only 2% of charitable giving in the U.S. goes to these organizations, she wrote the New York Times, and “[f]or too long, a lack of money has forced organizations fighting for women's rights into a defensive posture while the enemies of progress play offense. I want to help even the match.”
—
Notes:
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/26/libertarians-reject-trump-rfk-chase-oliver-presidential-nominee-00160040
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2024/05/27/remarks-by-president-biden-at-the-156th-national-memorial-day-observance-arlington-va/
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2024/05/25/remarks-by-president-biden-in-commencement-address-to-the-united-states-military-academy-at-west-point-west-point-ny/
https://newrepublic.com/article/181973/trump-media-attacks-media-dangerous-turn
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/congress-fails-to-install-plaque-honoring-jan-6-police-officers/
https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/28/politics/biden-campaign-january-6-officers/index.html
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c722qy5dzlgo
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/25/trump-commute-ross-ulbricht-sentence-libertarian-convention-00160025
https://www.ice.gov/news/releases/ross-ulbricht-aka-dread-pirate-roberts-sentenced-life-federal-prison-creating
https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-is-spotlighting-ross-ulbricht-silk-road-appeal-to-libertarians-2024
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4305566-trump-doubles-down-death-penalty-for-drug-dealers/
https://www.mediamatters.org/donald-trump/major-news-outlets-gave-much-less-coverage-trumps-vermin-attack-then-they-did-clintons
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4687060-donald-trump-squeaky-chicken-libertarian-controversy/
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/28/opinion/melinda-french-gates-reproductive-rights.html
The Dworkin ReportDe Niro and Jan 6 Heroes Unload on Trump Outside NY TrialRobert De Niro just showed up outside the New York City courthouse, where Trump is facing 34 felony counts. Rightwing lunatics are already trying to start conspiracy theories lying and saying that thi…Read more8 hours ago · 765 likes · 132 comments · Scott Dworkin
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Please bare with me as this will be a long one, it's my first ever post on reddit.
TW of child loss.
I (32f) my FH (35m) are getting married august this year. We live in Australia in a different state to both sides of our family. As we thought instead of picking between the two states we are from, we will have it where we are now.
History as I know all you lot love the background stories. We met in 2019, through tinder(in the state we currently both are atm). It was love at first sight for me. I already had a son who in 2019 was 8yo. My son adorned my partner, he would talk about future siblings and us getting married. Which led my partner n I picking wedding songs and talking about marriage. In 2021 my partner n I were a bit rocky. But my world came crashing apart when I got a phone call my son passed in a car crash. I flew back to my home state and well as you can imagine I was a mess. My family which I hadn't spoken to in 4 years due to being accused for something I did not do. They found out I didn't. But long story short I was in the head space to nit pick. My sons funeral happened and well I just got left by all my siblings to do the clean up my self while they went to the after do. I missed it. I'm only one person and I got blamed and made to feel like crap for it. And a lot other shit. In other words three of my siblings are arseholes. If they dont get their way. My sister we'll call her Petal(24), brothers Steve (31) n Bob (27).
My partner n I always stayed in contact but we spilt as he was still in the state we met. His boss wouldn't let him take time off etc. In the beginning 2023 I came back to the state to organise my sons stuff. Realising this man kept everything of his and mine in the same spot. He still looked after my cat n dog after all that time also. We rekindled and both realised the flame was always still there for each other. So by September last year we were ready to move forward with life as short as it is announce to our family's save the dates. Via Txt as we both have huge families, we would save the money this way.
A few weeks go by. I get a phone call from Steve. (Whom I havent spoken to since before coming up here as I had enough of always being cancelled on or never picking up my calls or barely responding to my texts) So I was like why am I getting a call. Turns out I just got questions after questions... well statements 'you never asked me to move' 'mum will be staying with me not you on your wedding' 'im not babysitting joey' youngest brother 12yo we I stated he would be other brother Dale (second youngest 21- they are all my siblings from my mother's side) as they are always together when Dale visits. I just focused on the positive. I knew he was wanting me to bite. Then when I was explaining joey would be walking behind my nieces with my sons photo Steve interrupted when are you getting married and laughed. He then said no, His daughter wasn't going to be wearing a dress she'll be wearing the same as her dad... and laughed. at the beginning of his save the date I put 'Aunty would love niece to be a flower girl if she would like' Remember no contact since this phone call at all. So I thought he was joking as he laughed. He then started repeating she was wearing the same as him. He also asked why would joey be following them and as I was explaining what I was thinking as my son would've wanted his cousins up there with him. I got cut off. I just planned all this and I said no I asked and you never responded. You never said no even when I spoke about the dresses. Apparently I just don't know what no sounds like and I've not changed and she is HIS flower girl for when him and his partner get married. I understand wanting your child to be apart of your wedding.... hence why I was trying to do what I know damn sure my boy would have done - to the point if they weren't in the party he would walk up to them n get them to help throw petal down the isle. I was upset. He rambled on and yelled shit at me and hung up when I said well if you didn't want her being a flower girl you could've just said it straight out.
I am still upset but I'm only upset due to he only brought it up when I was talking about what my son would want. If he had a problem with it why didn't he say it before hand. Later mum(51) found out him n his partner were upset I was getting married before them ( they have been engaged since 2021 and no mention of a wedding date) and they didn't want their daughter being someone else's flower girl before hand. Which again I understand so why not say that instead of starting the shit?
The next day Bob decided to tell me he couldn't come to the wedding as he doesn't know what his life would bring him to be doing then 🤦🏼‍♀️
Anyway I start to move forward with wedding planning . I let a friend know, as i was going to ask her to be a Bm. After saying getting married she bloody laughed so hard like i told the most funniest joke ever.... her daughter came in she is still laughing n said ' can you believe they are getting married' while wiping away tears from her eyes she laughed so hard. So I decided not to mention the bm part. She later started telling me what I should do for colours, who the bms should be, that the best man wears something different to the groomsmen. Etc. It was getting out of hand and everytime I mentioned we had decided what we are doing already is was wrong .... until she decided to make a competition with my unaware mother 'she better wear a dress or ill look better then her. Maybe even you' so I cut her out of my social group, my partner still thinks she was just helping. He needs the fog to clear.
I ask my best friend who I have known since 2017 and who was still there for me through the hard time of my son passing and still is to this day. Kel(43f) to be my MOH. My two sisters Petal n Kay(28f on father's side) as bridesmaids. As iTs tHe rIgHt tHiNg to do 🤦🏼‍♀️ at first I thought petal would flake first. If it's not her way she'll make some sort of version (even if it's LIES) that you did her wrong. I picked the dresses they were more then happy to pay for them. $160 ish each(aus). Well Kay went Mia for a few weeks. Then in January this year asked me if the place accepted afterpay. I said I know they accept Kalana or what ever its called. N then she was busting her arse for me to check.... she had the website I asked if she had her flights and accommodation prebooked. Nothing. As I was going to offer to pay for the dress if she was struggling. So I offered for her to come as a guest. 2 weeks NOT A SINGLE WORD. Not answering my calls or texts that wasn't even about the wedding. Its now Feb. I ask my cousin to be a back BM she was more then happy n as I was on the phone to her Kay said ' im getting a job so it'll be all sorted' now Kay is a sister who will take advantage for other people's hand outs. Where we are the closer to august you leave it your looking at 1600 n back minimum. N the week we are getting married not only with it be tourist session but race day also ( we forgot about race day 😅) After explaining this to her she decided with many more weeks in between she'll not come to the wedding at all.
So then it was my BF, petal and cousin.
Two weeks ago I got asked by my fathers (he is a dead beat) sister if he was invited. Long story short, I'm the child he never wanted. He never met my son at all while he was alive and loves to cause drama when it's not about him. He was a junkie when I first met him. So I politely said sorry no he is not and sorry for putting you in this position.
Just up until last week petal flaked. Family drama was happening and I pulled her up on her lies she had put in a group chat. She hadn't spoken to me since May. She would read the wedding chat but not respond. And I found out she had me on mute. Laste week I messaged her on the group chat, our private chat and text her can you aleast let me know whats going on. She came back with ' im not coming nor will I be in your wedding' I thanked her for letting me know. Went in the group chat for the wedding n she had already removed herself. N I blocked her shortly after my mum called. Mum had asked if I had heard from Petal. I told her what happened. Well, mum Being a mum was like 'ill get to the bottom of this' She asked why are you not part of the wedding anymore. My sister turned n said its not of your business. N then said I blocked her from the chat a while ago and I have not once messaged her n I'm mean. Mum caught her out n said she seen her lil picture keep up with the messaged just today etc. N she just banged on how no one understands her. So I blocked her.
I have now asked for my partners Sister to be a bm and she's more then happy to and I paid for her dress straight away so it should arrive to her before she is due to come up.
I found out in April my son will finally be a older brother like he always wanted. This is a miracle baby as I've had a few health problems with my uterus. To the point doctors said I might not even be able to do IVF. My partner n I are over the moon. I am in a a place where I'm happy and upset because my son is not here to witness what he always wanted. We have only told those that have been supportive, mu mum Dale and joey and my Sil.
All the stress of just my family has taken its toll. We have already paid majority of the wedding off and can't elope. I've lost all happiness for our day. I'm scared my father will rock up (he is spiteful like that) n im just deflated. With the add stress of being now 12weeks pregnant and still worried I could lose it at any point.
I have gotten all their jewellery, personalised pjs since Kay was involved. Personalised gifts and im paying for their hair and make up.
Kel my Moh is ready to go on a witch hunt. She's pissed that I have let it all go on for so long. So I'm trying to see if I am in the right or if I am in the wrong.
Am I being the Arsehole ? Bridezilla? Just feels no matter what happens in my life it's not good enough. If anything needs clearing up please let me know. Sorry for the long post. Thankyou in advance And if anyone has any advice ? Thankyou

(After Atlas disappears into the trees, Adam turns slowly. The Crinos is fading slowly, disappearing to reveal a shape he hasn’t worn for years. Homnid, she knows. The shape of a man. She emerges from behind the tree and looks at the Gurahl. She’s never seen him like this; his body is a crosswork of poorly healed scars, some overlapping others, while a massive red mark stains the side of his face, as though he’d just splashed blood upon it. He stares at her for a moment with eyes that do not glow with the feral light of Arethren or Crinos, unable to find the words. He hears the truth in her; three heartbeats, two slightly weaker than her own…)
“Adam…”
“It’s true.”
(Gingerly, she rests a hand on her stomach. She feels nothing… and yet…)
“I…I don’t know what to say.”
“Say nothing. Listen… I did not want this for you. I did not want you to become so bound to me that you could never turn away. You do not deserve this…this punishment.”
“Punishment?”
(She takes a step forward and, hesitantly, rests her hand upon a scar that crosses his chest like a slash in leather. She can feel his heart beat beneath her palm; quick, panicked…he’s afraid)
“Adam… it was my decision to find you. My decision to love you. I chose you, don’t you get that? I don’t care about the life I left behind. What was there to look forward to other than a life in my dad’s shadow? You’ve said it yourself; I was never meant for the world of humans.”
“But this life! it isn’t something I want for you! Looking over your shoulder every night, worried that something will find you when I’m not there. I tried to set you free…Now, I’ve shackled you.”
“You did that the day I first laid eyes on you.”
(The Gurahl closes his eyes and draws in a shaky breath)
“Your heart is your own… I will not hold it prisoner.”
“My heart is yours. Now more than ever”
“I…I don’t understand”
“You never have. You’ve been so lost in your hatred that you couldn’t see that your loneliness was self-inflicted… You don’t have to be alone anymore, Yogi…”
(She removes her hand, and rests it once more upon her stomach)
“This isn’t a shackle…they aren’t chains. And you don’t frighten me. This life? Compared to what I’ve seen you accomplish, it’s nothing. I have more faith in you than I think you’ve ever had in yourself.”
(For a moment, the Gurahl is silent, contemplating her words. He has lived for two centuries; an eternity of loneliness broken only by brief periods of senseless violence. He has spent his life alone…)
“Do you…want to talk to them?”
“What?”
“I mean…I doubt they can hear you, but it wouldn’t upset me. Go ahead.”
“You…you would keep them? Care for them?”
“I’ve kept you. I care for you…why not them?”
(Adam looks down, and kneels before her, as though she were a sovereign and he a supplicant. He reaches for her…then hesitates. Without warning, she seizes his wrist and presses his hand against her stomach)
“No more hesitation. No more fear. I’m not scared of you…so stop being scared of me.”
(He is about to reply, when he feels them: twin hearts, no larger than the tips of his claws. He feels them…and feels something in his soul that he has not felt for eighty years)
(Joy)
(He smiles; Samantha has to stop herself from drawing in a gasp. It’s the first full smile she’s ever seen him express. Not a grin, nor a half-hearted imitation, but a smile of sincere joy…and pride)
“Mine…”
“Technically ours… but that’ll do.”
“My heart…my Moon and Star…my little ones…”
(He looks up, into her eyes)
“I love you… all of you.”
(She smiles, and rests one hand upon his head, while the other holds him to her. She says nothing…but in her heart, she is howling with triumph)
(Monster…no longer)

So, I'll start off by saying that I feel like a really shitty person because I know what I said was an objectively shitty thing. I also identity as lesbian.
In a random conversation with a friend, I got too in my head and started thinking about all the things people contaminate, specifically men, and started to feel my skin actually crawl thinking about how many people have touched dirty things (including touching men) and I said I get disgusted when I think about the times a man has touched me or thinking about how many people have touched a man and then I touch them. It's very irrational, I know. I don't hate men. I was just thinking, in that moment, about a specific man who traumatized me and just so happened to smell really bad and had bad hygiene, etc. The question I have is: does anyone else deal with generalizing with OCD? I logically know all men aren't dirty, of course, just like all women aren't clean, but I can't help but associate this man with men in general sometimes. Every time I think about him, it's like I can see the germs on my skin and will try and "clean" myself every.single.time. (This isn't my only contamination OCD trigger, btw. I pretty much have the same reaction when it comes to public transportation, bodily fluids, etc.)
Anyway, the conversation turned into me saying drinking from the same cup as someone who went down on a man is nasty. And I straight up asked if it was biphobic not to want to date someone who has went down on a man in the last month (because apparently my brain thinks after one month, everything is all good 🤡), and she said yes, it's biphobic, because I wouldn't care if the person went down on a woman a month earlier.
Long story short, my friend got upset because she felt that I was invalidating her identity as a person on the bisexual spectrum, saying she felt hurt because she thinks that's why every lesbian she's liked hasn't liked her back (because she's been with mostly men) and that I made her feel like her sexuality is inherently wrong. It seemed like I said any bisexual woman who's been with a man is, by default, contaminated. I apologized as best as I could and she said she was understanding. Everything has been fine since.
Nothing is a reflection of any queer woman who dates men. I know exactly why I feel the way I do and that isn't anyone else's burden or something for me to project. I want to think I'm not biphobic. I TRULY couldn't care less if someone has been with a man in the past. I have been with men in the past. Almost everyone I've been with has been with men in the past. The issue is when I think too much. I'm hoping there's someone that can relate. This disorder feels so isolating sometimes and it definitely doesn't help the ruminating thoughts that I'm actually a bad person.
I've been punishing myself for this for weeks because I feel like the worst person to have walked this earth, and I can't help but feel disgusted with myself for thinking this way.
Any advice is appreciated. Thanks.

This is my first time asking a question , don’t mind my bad English writing skills 😅 I am asking this for a friend who isn’t on Reddit , about her relationship.
She’s been with him for almost 5 years now , and she was the first one to approach him. After taking time of 4 whole months he said yes to her ( in a time where they were kissing /making out) . He isn’t a very romantic person but my friend is an absolute sweetheart who showers everyone around with love and kindness.
Things were okay until he said things demeaning her body about her strech marks , etc. He had also compared her with other friends of hers who were pretty/ hot / post thirst traps on insta. My friend, still being head over love with him chose to be with him , no matter what.
Then came a time in his life where he needed her help with his academic life , be it assignments , his thesis, everything and she was there. In fact , helped him score amazing on all his tests and help him complete his thesis. He used to never give her the love she requires and rather used to fights with her that she wasn’t able to complete everything on time. Mind you , she used to put her things and our college assignments and exams aside for his work.
Fast forward to now , she expects him to atleast be giving now , to understand her love language , to call back often , to message first , talk romantically or whatever and it still doesn’t work that way. And he hadn’t told his friends about her whereas she told all her friends about him. He likes to stay a mysterious man where he doesn’t where he is going / what he is doing from the start and my friend , not knowing how a two sided relationship should look like , still pours into him.
So rn she’s seen some couples in her friends where it is a two sided relationship and it’s awestruck and doubtful on him. However , please note that he has been loyal to her and she to him the past 5 years.
I want to hear your opinion on whether she’s right to love him this much without expecting anything in return ?

Some people say that men who are short, skinny, have weakly-defined facial features are ‘genetically inferior’ in some way. However, these same features are desirable in women. Both sons and daughters can inherit these features from their parents, and it doesn’t seem that one gender is more likely to inherit them than the other. The above-mentioned traits are undesirable on one gender but desirable (or at least neutral) on the other. So, can we truly consider these traits to be ‘genetically inferior’?
Yes I understand there are some genetic traits that are undesirable on either gender, such as acne or other skin issues. For the purpose of this debate I am not referring to those.
There are short women who go for tall men because they don’t want their sons to be short. But I wonder if they considered that if they had a daughter, it would be better for her to be short? Let’s say a short man with feminine features and a tall, muscular woman had children, I doubt their children’s physical features will differ significantly from the children of a conventional tall, strong man and short dainty woman couple?

“Bingo!” The call echoed through the hall, followed by the collective groans of the other assembled Hellspawn. Askeraz the Malfeasant looked away from the trapped heroes and towards his demon army. They cowed.
“What was that?” Askeraz asked, his voice carried every shadow of the night.
“Uh, sorry, your Dark Lordliness, please ignore me.”
Askeraz looked at the heroes. He had been in the middle of his victory speech. Shouldn’t he just continue? This was his moment of triumph but-
“Let me see what you’re holding,” Askeraz commanded as he held out a fell hand toward the demons. The Demon that had yelled bingo, Kalim the Fleshrender, sheepishly handed the card to Askeraz, who began reading.
He was aghast at the first square.
“Tremble before me?” Askeraz asked, indignant. Based on the other squares, he’d already figured out what the card was. They were playing bingo with his speech but… “Tremble before me is a staple of the craft! A victory speech without it is a classless rant!”
“Sorry sir.”
“And beside it! ‘All Hope is Lost’. Pardon, you might as well be asking me not to use vowels!”
The heroes, trapped in the Soul Cage, were, almost, more confused than frightened. Almost.
“Sorry again, sir.”
Askeraz held out his free hand and collected another card. He repeated the process frantically, checking each and every entry that the Hellspawn had brought to the moment of his triumph.
That they were playing bingo right now? Bad enough, but considering victory was partially about celebration Askeraz could forgive party games. What he couldn’t forgive was the lack of understanding inherent in the cards. That had to be corrected now.
Askeraz waved an arm, and hellish magic swallowed the souls of the heroes. While they screamed, he approached his assembled generals.
“To begin, if you’re including ‘Behold my power’ on the card, you might as well have a free space. Konrad the Black, one of the original masters of dark triumphant speech, a wretched man who truly codified the forms of the modern art, said in his Soulbinding Treatise that a speech which does not include reverence to power, should not be considered a victory, nor a speech.”
Askeraz pulled out a large scroll for notes and continued. “Additionally the position of phrases on the grid completely ignore the accepted structure of the genre. For example, fundamental structural understanding is that a speech cannot have a reference to the power of light and dark within the opening of the monologue. It’s poor form. Both light and shadow motifs are central to the theming of closing statements. If you look into the research of Brimhilda Bladeheart—one of my favorite scholars of the craft—it’s clear her ideas on genre and managing audience expectation are central to my execution. I hope it’s clear at least. She’s an inspiration.”
Askeraz trailed off. There was just so much wrong. He snatched the cards away. He would show them. He would craft a tense game of bingo, where the chance of victory was equal on each card based on a proper understanding of the sacred art of villainous monologue. None of this new-age free-form hippy bullshit. Before he could make a game, though, there were more lessons to teach….
“And furthermore!”

Hello I have the following games for sale, All games are CIB unless mentioned. Shipping is not included in price for Atari lot. Everything else shipping is included in the price.
All friends and family, no goods and service purchases. I’m getting to the limit this year before the IRS has their way with me. If you’re uncomfortable with that, I completely understand and appreciate you looking regardless :)
Will take pictures when requested

Rune factory switch bundle $70

• Rune Factory 3 Special sealed- $40
• Rune Factory 5 sealed- $40

Sea switch bundle $180

• Sea Horizons Limited Edition- $40
• Seven Pirates H Limited Edition- $160

Playstation 2 bundle $425

• Ed Edd Eddy’s Mis-Edventures- $30
• Shadow the Hedgehog (no manual)- $30
• Dragon Ball Z Budokai Tenkaichi 2- $65
• Dragon Ball Z budokai Tenkaichi 3- (works 100% time on fat ps2s (was told has 60% to fail for slims, no idea why as when I bought it, I have a fat ps2)- $210
• Fat ps2 (Cables, controller, no memory card or box/inserts)- $130

Random Gamecube Game assortment Bundle $200

• F-Zero GX- $85
• Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes (disc label has common problem wear)- $100
• Namco Museum 50th Anniversary (no manual)- $25
• Taz Wanted (no manual, box art has slight water damage)- $15

TMNT GameCube Bundle- $110

• TMNT 1- $30
• TMNT 2 no manual- $40
• TMNT Mutant Melee- 60

Star Wars GameCube bundle- $40

• Rebel Strike- $25
• Rouge leader players choice- $25

Loose Pokemon Gameboy Bundle- $130

• Pokémon red (repro sticker, fresh battery, comes with manual)- $80
• Pokémon Yellow- $65

Super Monkey Ball GameCube bundle- $50

• Super Monkey Ball- $30
• Super Monkey Ball 2 Players choice- $30

Loose N64 Game bundle $75

• Mario Kart 64- $50
• Zelda ocarina of time (grey cartridge)-$35

Atari lot bundle- $150 obo

• This lot i won’t be selling separately. Looking to sell whole. Price charting sees it around $316 (probably more $270 since console needs cables) just want it gone. As shown, 7800 non cables and all untested accept for flashback 2. Pls take it off my hands. Flashback 2 console is tested and working!

7800 console untested as no cables
Comes with these games
Asteroids 7800 Boxing 2600 Combat 2600 Cosmic Ark 2600 Dodge Em’ 2600 Donkey Kong 7800 ET the Extra Terrestrial 2600 Freeway 2600 Galaga 7800 Ghostbusters Blue Label 2600 Grand Prix 2600 Moon Patrol 2600 Pac-Man 2600 Pole Position II 7800 Spider Fighter 2600 Video Pinball 2600 Winter Games 2600 Yars’ Revenge 2600

I’ve posted here before but after our latest ST session I just feel at a lost. This is my first ND child and I don’t really have anyone in my family who I can relate to with this.
My son is less than 2, level 3 ASD, and non-verbal. He just recently started making the “M” sound and sometime it does sound like mama! Which makes me SO happy! We were doing “moo” today and his therapist pointed out (which I’ve noticed) just how hard he was to focus to create these sounds. He watches, closes his eyes, closes his mouth, and then makes the sound which all in all can take up to 30 seconds to fully do.
And it’s not just this. Any sort of play involving putting something in a box, picking something up, he REALLY has to think about each step and what to do. If he can even focus that long! I feel good that he’s trying to understand things, I feel like it’s a positive sign, but it just hurts to see him struggle so hard. Will it always be like this? Will he ever fully be able to talk? Will he be able to do things?
I try to focus on things he can do but man, some days it is tough. His therapist also noted how insecure his attachment is to us in terms of he will not play unless he is in our laps or climbing on us. He is super sensory seeking and she wasn’t saying it as a bad thing, however she thinks because he can’t communicate that’s why he wants us close. Because he knows we know what he needs. Which is so sweet but also scares me because what if something happens to us?
I’m sorry for the long post I’m just feeling some feelings. Hugs to all you parents out there. ❤️

men don't get it, dude 😭 (It's not all men, my boyfriend absolutely gets the argument, I'm just frustrated)
I saw a tik Tok live about the question and one of the live comments I saw said "You know bears can rape you too, right?"... Seriously bro...? This makes me want to commit unspeakable acts 😌 Like... Sure dude, I guess the bear could 🙄but it won't, there's a 0% chance of that happening...
And if anything you're just proving that you absolutely understand the point of the analogy and just refuse to acknowledge the problem.
Men tell on themselves by how they react to the "man vs bear" question..

For some context, I (23 F) and my boyfriend (26 M) have been together for about a year and a half. From the time we got together we have been inseparable and pretty much lived together. Although we never asked the other to move in, we pretty much sleepover with the other almost every day.
I am a college student. I’m in my fourth year of college and recently just got a full time job for what I’m going to school for. I work five days a week and then two other days I just have class until 2pm.
About a month ago, my boyfriend’s stepmom passed away in a tragic accident. My boyfriends dad has always been a drunk and he also has epilepsy, so many times he has alcohol induced seizures. After what happened to his wife, he has been drinking heavier than usual. In addition to my boyfriends dad, my boyfriends brother (22M) lives there as well. He had worked until about the 3 months ago when he got fired.
My boyfriend stayed with his dad after the accident to make sure he was eating and being taken care of. This I understood. But it’s been over a month now and he is still staying there and has not gone to work. We hardly see each other and he always uses the excuse that he has to watch his dad, but then him and his brother can go fishing for hours and leave him home alone every other day.
I understand that people grieve differently, but I feel like a month off is an extremely long time and that they can’t rely on him to do everything and be everything for everybody. In addition to that, I feel like he shouldn’t have to babysit his dad who is a grown man. I also feel like my boyfriends brother should be helping take care of the situation and be looking for a job to help support himself and their dad instead of just my boyfriend who pays their bills and buys groceries for everyone.
I haven’t said anything to him because I don’t want to sound selfish or make him feel like I’m giving him an ultimatum to choose them or me. That’s not my intention at all. I just feel like they need some form of normalcy in their lives and that my boyfriend and I can’t put our relationship on pause because of what happened. I have some resentment because of the way things have been handled since she passed away.

This happened probably a week before COVID closed everything down when I was working at a fast-casual restaurant in Denver, CO. For some background, fast casual in this case means you wait in line, order at a counter, get drinks and a number and find your own seat, but once you're sat a server will bring you food, refill your drinks, bus, etc. This particular location has an open kitchen so you can see everyone who is working both in FOH and BOH minus like the dishwasher.
It was probably within a few days of our restaurant opening that I was on the cash register on a Friday night and had the following interaction with a Boomer Man and his wife.
BM: Wow, there sure are a lot of people working here. Me: haha yep, we just opened. BM: how did you find this many people to work here? Me: Uhhhh I don't know. BM: how did you hear about this job? Me: I applied after seeing it advertised on Craigslist. BM: WOW, you all must have had a job fair or something. There's a lot of people working here. Me: well it is Friday night and we just opened so we are fully staffed right now. BM: I just can't believe you found so many people to work here. Considering unemployment is at an all time high. Wife: honey, stop. Me: .... BM: how did you guys find so many people to work here? No one wants to work at all these days. Wife: honey stop. Me (actually losing my mind at this point and the line is to the door): the cost of living in Denver is so high that most of us have two or three jobs in order to live here. BM (ignoring me completely): did you have a job fair? There's so many people working here. Me: like I said I don't know how my coworkers heard about the job but I found the ad on Craigslist. BM: unemployment is the highest it's ever been right now.
Finally they just grabbed their shit and sat down and I thanked my lucky stars that I wasn't serving on the floor that night so that I wouldn't have to talk to them anymore.
The wife was fine. But to this day I don't really understand what this man was getting at. It was pre-covid, within about a week of this place opening so the first round of quits/fires hadnt even taken place yet. Most of my coworkers had 2-3 jobs unless they had 3 roommates in a garbage house like I did. A lot of my coworkers had children and families to support. Not to mention this was a corporate company so they could afford to fully staff their restaurants at any given time along with paying us slightly above minimum wage + tips rather than the standard server wage.
There's really no winning, either your work is short staffed and you can't give them good enough service, or there are too many people working and it contradicts what fox news is telling them about unemployment at any given time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUOUAr-WvFk
1:37 - Traits of a Narcissist
A narcissist has an insatiable need for admiration, affirmation, and validation, all of which are their drug of narcissistic supply. They believe themselves to be superior and grandiose, they're arrogant, they lack empathy, they're exploitative, they have unreasonable demands of people. These are all traits that are opposite from the traits of Jesus Christ and yet a religious context is often the most optimal place for a narcissist to freely practice their narcissism while appearing virtuous or pious. So I'm going to share with you 10 insights into why narcissists love religion and how they use it to serve their own purposes.
2:22 - Why It's Important to Understand Why Narcissists Love Religion
It's important to understand these things because Jesus warns his followers to beware of false prophets which come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. Hopefully these 10 insights will help you hack into whether or not you're dealing with a true follower or true shepherd or minister of Christ or a narcissist who is posing as one of these roles instead of being there to serve.
2:51 - #1 - The Abundance of Narcissistic Supply to be Had
The first reason why narcissists love religion is because of the abundance of narcissistic supply that could be had. It's a reality there is so much narcissistic supply to be had in religious settings. And narcissistic supply, as I mentioned before, is the praise, admiration, validation, honor, sense of significance that a narcissist is addicted to in order to regulate their negative emotions. So a religious context provides an easy platform for a narcissist because they could get access to a stage or a pulpit or a mic or some means to exert influence where they can gain all of that admiration and praise or a sense of superiority where they can present themselves as godly or pious individuals or chosen by God or specially anointed, all of this to gain validation and attention from people. And like I mentioned all of these things are a drug that a narcissist is addicted to and it is what actually feeds them, more than actually being in a relationship with God but to the pure all things are pure so there are many people in church and religious contexts who are honest good-hearted who believe the best about others and so they can be gullible to the narcissists around them who have disguised themselves as pious people for the sake of getting narcissistic supply and this is truly an evil because a narcissist pursuit of narcissistic supply comes at the cost of destroying and stepping on other people without any regard for their welfare.
4:32 - #2 - The Allure of Control and Power
The second reason why narcissists love religion is because of the alert of control and power. Religion offers a structure of beliefs and practices that can be manipulated by narcissists to exert control over others. For example a narcissist may twist and distort doctrines and scriptures to justify their authority and demand obedience from followers they could create God in their own image, which a lot of them do rather than follow and conform themselves to the God of the Bible. This kind of control feeds into the narcissist need for domination and power and it can get to a dangerous point where religious narcissist replaces God with themselves where they subtly over time position themselves as intermediaries between individuals and God. A narcissist might manipulate followers into believing that they alone possess the ability to interpret God's will or to speak on his behalf a narcissist does this whether consciously or unconsciously to elevate themselves to a divine status in the eyes of their followers and they may never say that they are doing this outright because no person would ever accept a human saying that you have to worship them like a god but a narcissist will certainly have structures and systems in place to make this a reality. And a follower or member of that religious context might not even realize what is happening until one day they notice that this narcissist has taken on an increasingly central role in their life and is dictating their decisions and their behaviors as if they were the ultimate authority. If you notice that you might be in a spiritual environment like this or someone you love might be and you're wondering if there's spiritual abuse going on or if it's a cult I put together a checklist to help you assess that situation and you can get access to it by clicking on the link in the description box below it's a really good tool to help you identify if the religious context you're in is toxic or has turned into a cult.
6:47 - #3 - Camouflage for Manipulation
The third reason why narcissists love religion is because it serves as a camouflage for manipulation. Religious contexts serve as a perfect camouflage for narcissist to disguise their true intentions these are places where it's easy for narcissists to cloak their behaviors and demands in spiritual language where they can manipulate and exploit others while appearing righteous and virtuous at the same time. And what better setup could there be for a covert narcissist who can continue acting narcissistic while appearing like a saint in the process there's no other place except churches and ministries and religious environments.
7:29 - #4 - Their ability to exploit certain teachings for personal gain
The fourth reason why narcissists are drawn to religion is because of their ability to exploit certain teachings for personal gain. Many religious communities emphasize principles like forgiveness, redemption, giving a second chance, reconciling, turning the other cheek, submitting to authority, and narcissists exploit these teachings extensively. They may present themselves as repentant as enlightened or they could be demanding forgiveness and reconciliation from others while refusing to cultivate Christ-like virtues within themselves so all this manipulation allows them to continue exploiting others behind this facade of being Godly.
8:15 - #5 - It allows them to Idolize their Self-Image
The fifth reason why narcissists love religion is because it allows them to idolize their self-image. Narcissists often have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe that they are special or unique so religion can offer a platform to reinforce this idealized self-image where they can portray themselves as chosen by God or having special spiritual gifts or insights or anointing.
8:44 - #6 - The Lack of Accountability
The sixth reason why narcissists love religion is because of the lack of accountability. Some denominations or churches or contacts might have more accountability than others but narcissist tend to gravitate towards those religious contexts that don't have much or have very little. Many religious narcissists exploit religious settings because they perceive them to be environments where their behaviors are less likely to be questioned or challenged so this lack of accountability allows them to continue their manipulative tactics without being questioned or challenged.
9:23 - #7 - It Gives Them a Get-Out-of-Jail Free Card from Having to Self-Reflect
The seventh reason why narcissists love religion is because it gives them a get out of jail free card from having to self-reflect. Narcissists typically struggle with self-awareness and introspection so religion offers a way for them to avoid confronting their own wounds or trauma or shortcomings by focusing on outward religious performance or acquiring religious knowledge, all this outward stuff that they can focus on. It's like Jesus saying to the Pharisees they're like these whitewashed tombs; they look beautiful and nice on the outside but inside they're full of dead man's bones. The attraction to religion allows a narcissist to spiritually bypass themselves where they can use all kinds of spiritual language like it's all washed by the blood or things like that to avoid dealing with deeper unresolved trauma within themselves and getting healed from it because there is power in Christ for healing but you have to do the work.
10:26 - #8 - Entitled and Exploit People in those Contexts
The eighth reason why narcissists love religion is is because it's easy for them to be entitled and to exploit people in these contexts in religious settings. Narcissists may feel entitled to special treatment or privileges due to their perceived spiritual status they might exploit others trust and vulnerability for their own personal gain and control. Narcissists may expect people to serve them, like a slave, free of charge. For instance, because they believe that they have a God-like status or they might expect people to hand their wealth over to them or neglect their own families in order to put the narcissist first all in the name of God.
11:09 - #9 - They Can Create a God in Their Own Image
The ninth reason why narcissists love religion is because they can create a God in their own image. Narcissists are not interested in cultivating Godly virtues within themselves as I mentioned before they would rather project their own traits onto God viewing him as judgmental, angry, or traits that resonate more with their narcissistic personality, more than who God actually is. And this kind of behavior allows narcissists to maintain a sense of superiority and justification for their actions.
11:43 - #10 - The Facade of Moral Superiority
The 10th reason why narcissist love religion is the facade of moral superiority religion provides narcissists with this platform to project a false sense of being moral or virtuous or Godly. And they can create this facade by practicing all the religious rituals and portray themselves in a certain way in front of people like this upstanding citizen, but in reality they could be practicing all kinds of dark deeds in private without people knowing hiding their true intentions all with this mask of piety and so that can serve very well for many narcissists and to enable them to continue their dark practices in secret while people are believing that they are this Godly pious person and that is actually a very hypocritical way to live and Jesus actually condemned these kinds of practices because that is what the religious leaders were doing in Biblical times but many narcissists gravitate towards religious settings in order to be able to continue living out this hypocritical lifestyle.
So understanding why narcissists are drawn to religion is really important in order to recognize and address the manipulation that can happen in churches and ministries while many churches and ministries promote cultivating Christ-like qualities. Sadly those same places attract narcissist to them because of opportunities it presents for control and admiration and validation but hopefully by being aware of these dynamics we can hopefully discern between genuine spiritual leaders and those who are using religion to drive their own ego-driven motives. Remember Jesus warned against the false prophets so hopefully by applying these insights we can navigate relationships in churches and ministries and operate with God's wisdom and discernment where we can be as shrewd as a snake and as innocent as a dove.
*Thanks to u/Jdub20202 for the video recommendation.

Usually I’m pretty understanding. But today this couple came in with their 2 SICK, sneezing/coughing children. The man, who I assume is the husband, could have absolutely waited in the car with the two kids. But no, the whole family came in with the mom. Meanwhile there’s other women there in various stages of this very emotionally and physically draining process just trying to keep there composure while being subjected to this VERY loud, noticeable and SICK family with TWO children. I get if there’s no babysitter for some reason and the mom was coming here while caring for the children, but the dad was right there! Just stay in the car for a few minutes while your wife goes to her appointment? Why do people do this kind of stuff? Do they not feel bad for others?

I honestly don't understand, but I am a person who would rather do everything on my own than ask an employee a question.
I work at a pet store and these are some of the interactions that drive me crazy.
Today a man told me he was looking for a toy for his dog. I led him to the toy aisle. He asked for suggestions. I gave him a few which he didn't like. I don't understand why this needed to go any further than me just showing him the toy aisle. I don't know what his dog likes. It's all up to personal preference and budget for what kind of toy you'll get your dog.
The other day someone told me they were looking for dog food with chicken in it. That's 90% of our dog foods. I pointed them to the dog food section. They wanted me to show them. Use your eyes. Theyre literally everywhere. It's the most common flavor.
A customer asked me which fish they should get. I told them it's up to them. Theyvwanted suggestions. I pointed a few out that I liked, they didnt like them.
Lastly, the worst. "my dog is allergic to _. Does this food have ___ in it?" This always results in me following the customer around and reading all the ingredients on the bag. Why can't you do it yourself? I don't spend my spare time memorizing the ingredients of each dog food.
Seriously, I don't understand why people can't just use their eyes and make a decision.
I got a new job in an office and I start next week. Thank God. I'm sure I'll have annoying clients still finding me there though.

I have this employee named "Greg" I absolutely cannot stand to work with. He's normally fine, but I can't stand to work with him. He doesn't seem to understand there are many ways to do one thing, but because we do something slightly different than Starting Line says to, we are all wrong and should be written up (yes, he is my subordinate and wants to try to write me up... I am a GM). I'm talking things as small as how to do the safe count. Not when, but HOW.
I've worked in tons of different stores. At least 20, between 3 other districts (I moved a lot and have been with Advance long enough I have a 4 for my TM#). Different strokes for different folks, it's never bothered me because no two areas are alike.
This man literally went and printed off every AAP acronym off of Starting Line. He also referred to it earlier as the "Bible of AAP". I haven't seen many folks care about reading the actual SOPs. "Greg" actually went through the store and twisted every nozzle of every bottle facing forward or to the left because that's what the SOP stated. Meanwhile we have POGs we desperately need done. I'm sorry, a POG 4 years out of date takes much more precedent to me. (I took a broken store.)
"Greg" also tried to rearrange the office to redo our paperwork... And just left the boxes on the floor for me to find the next morning when I opened... I've seen GMs fired for less. There was paper stacks and boxes EVERYWHERE!
Tell me about your "Greg" and the crazy things they say/do. I am hoping I'm not the only one.

Hi everyone, I'm in a very unique and challenging situation and could use any help possible. Things I share about my experience may sound contradictory but everything is somehow simultaneously true.
For the sake of brevity, I will try not to go extensively into how I feel certain the man I am dating is who I will marry. The best way I can explain is that I feel the Lord has allowed me to perceive that He has been preparing us for marriage. A few details I can give:
There are deeply personal ways 'C' and I fit together that would be very rare to find in another person, things that only God would know about each of us. Things God urged us to talk about early on.
We have had intense seasons of God purging past sin and healing traumas throughout our relationship. In all this time, we have been acknowledging Him and avoiding sin. We still have not kissed (we are 31 & 38).
And lastly, on our third date I had a supernatural experience. He put his arm around me for the first time as we sat on the couch and in that moment, we were existing as husband and wife. I don't know how to explain it other than we were husband and wife. This supernatural experience of existing as something we weren't was more real than the literal fact that we were just two people who were dating.
We have now been together just over 2 years and God has not allowed me (and only me) to develop romantic feelings yet which needless to say has been very hard and frustrating at times. It's more like there is potential. We are simultaneously in a serious relationship (of God's doing; we didn't do anything to move things along) and also just friends. I definitely experience sexual desire for him. And I absolutely am someone who experiences romantic attraction just as most people do, it's just like they are currently 'on hold'.
He has had a different and more standard experience in our relationship. He told me he loved me 2 months into dating, he feels attraction to me romantically, spiritually, physically, etc.
Throughout this waiting season, I have at times struggled with intense frustration. In my worst moments, I have said things like, "I feel like God manipulated me into dating you". I have found myself hyper-fixated on things I don't like about C or that 'could be better' (things I never cared about in the past) and hyper-fixated on how there are men around me who don't have those qualities and seem more desirable. And at times I have felt so upset by C's personal rules and boundaries that I have left in a storm in the middle of hanging out.
Recently I've come to understand that I'm actually under spiritual attack which is where these very unlike me thoughts and behaviors have been coming from (I still recognize I'm responsible for my actions even when there is influence from the enemy).
A few weeks ago my pastor recommended trauma therapy based on things I shared about my childhood, and since then, it's like a war has even more intensely begun. The enemy is working to prevent me from getting professional help, getting me to isolate, and working to destroy my closest relationships (both with C and my mom). How do I fight against spiritual warfare?? I actually feel lighter and better now after writing all this, because things have become even more clear about what's really going on!

So yes, I am male but I like to roleplay as a woman and imagine what life as a woman might be like. If that's weird, I understand. But, if you're interested, I've roleplayed female characters for years and I've been told I'm quite realistic and detailed.
With that out of the way, one of my fantasy scenarios is the idea of being a trophy wife. Just a woman married to a rich man (probably a man much older than me) who married me simply so I could be some arm candy. I don't mind though, because I take advantage of and enjoy the lavish lifestyle. I'd own and wear all sorts of expensive and fancy clothing. Lots of form fitting clothes and lots of heels. Me and my husband would go to galas and events and I'd wear tight revealing dresses. He'd use my looks to help get deals and such. It would be such an amazing life.
I'm thinking the husband could be something like a rich ceo, a celebrity of sorts (like an actor or musician) or maybe even some sort of sports star (or former sports star).
I have a preferred character for me to play. Her name is Jackie. She's a 25 year old woman of Latina descent. She is very feisty and sarcastic. She grew up in a small town so she's easily impressed by the fancy things in life. If you have another preference for who I'd be, I'm flexible.
We can have it so our characters have been in an established relationship already or we can start with them meeting for the first time. I love slow burn romance. Also, we can do a story where you play someone besides my husband and do a cheating story, that could be fun.
If this interests you, send me a chat and we can discuss details.