Here are today's contestants:

• Steve Miller, a retired medical transcriptionist from Eugene, Oregon;
• Abby Mann, a digital scholarship librarian from Normal, Illinios; and
• Amar Kakirde, a graduate student from Lake Hiawatha, New Jersey. Amar is a four-day champ with winnings of $55,899.

Jeopardy!
EUROPEAN HISTORY // DEFINING LAW // DOING A NUMBER ON YOU // SOUNDS LIKE A BOY BAND // DO BUG US // THINK "SMALL"
DD1 - $800 - DOING A NUMBER ON YOU - In the presidential election of 1956, Eisenhower carried 41 states & Stevenson, this many (Amar added $3,000.)
Scores at first break: Amar $2,600, Abby $3,800, Amar -$200.
Scores entering DJ: Amar $8,600, Abby $3,000, Amar $1,400.
Double Jeopardy!
CANADIAN CITIES // NONFICTION BOOKS BY SUBTITLES // WEAPON NAMES // WHAT DO YOU MEASURE? // MOVIES WITH LITTLE DIALOGUE // SPILL THE "T"
DD2 (video) - $1,200 - WEAPON NAMES - In 1939, Artem Mikoyan & Mikhail Gurevich headed a design bureau that has turned out generations of these fighter planes (On the first clue of the round, Steve improved by $2,000 to $3,400.)
DD3 - $1,200 - NONFICTION BOOKS BY SUBTITLES - "A True Story of Men Against the Sea" (the North Atlantic's Grand Banks)(Steve added $4,000 to his total of $8,200 vs. $9,400 for Amar.)
After a slow start, Steve rallied by hitting both DDs in DJ and was able to carry a small lead into FJ at $15,400 vs. $14,200 for Amar and $8,200 for Abby.
Final Jeopardy!
EUROPEAN SCIENTISTS - On the 2022 bicentennial of his birth, the body of this man was exhumed & DNA used to determine his genetic afflictions
Everyone was incorrect on FJ. Amar chose to wager nearly everything, which allowed Abby to take the win as she dropped $3,000 to finish on top at $5,200.
Final scores: Amar $1, Abby $5,200, Steve $2,399.
Movie miscues: The players missed three clue in the movie category, including the top-row clue about the 2018 John Krasinski film which included characters communicating in sign language, "A Quiet Place".
Underpriced clue of the day: only $400 for knowing the boy band which sounds like an abbreviation for "filming people filming people", BTS (which apparently also stands for "behind the scenes').
Correct Qs: DD1 - What is seven? DD2 - What are MIGs? DD3 - What is "The Perfect Storm"? FJ -Who was Mendel?

I just recently became aware of PDA in the ADHD subreddit. It tweaked my interest and WOW does it ever describe my 16yr old son to a T. He is diagnosed inattentive ADHD, but this PDA condition REALLY hits home.
I'll start with he's an AMAZING kid. Smart, kind, loving, and tries so hard. And his avoidance/refusal to do hard things/things he doesn't want to do, is extreme. From the age of 3-4 we had issues of avoidance. The biggest one is school. Grade 3 is when he started avoiding/refusing going to school, on a sporadic basis (1-3 times a month). We always went with the assumption of high anxiety, trying to help him through that. He went to therapy, 2 different therapists, over the years, that helped minimally. We tried ADHD meds, it raised the anxiety so we stopped. My husband is staunchly against anti-anxiety meds at this point, and my son refuses to try anyway.
When he's avoiding school, he's distraught. He wants to go but can't. He's frozen. He describes it as his brain wants to go but his body won't let him. He's paralyzed. Now that's he's older, he's calm about it (but very distraught). Just quietly beating himself up. When he was younger it was HOURS of screaming and we were unable to console him.
Every year has gotten worse in terms of how much school he misses, culminating in this year, Grade 11. He completely missed the first 2 weeks of school, and with his therapists advice, we pulled him out of school to do an online semester at home. Low pressure, low expectations, just one class at a time, only a couple of hours per day. It was a disaster. He went from not being able to go to school, to not being able to do anything. No dog walking, no going to the gym (which he enjoys), no visits with family.
We all agreed he needed to go back to school for the next semester (the one he's in now) - including him. It started out pretty well, he finally took advantage of the resource room after years of avoiding it. We told him going to resource counted as going to school, he could go there and just hang out and work at his pace. So he did that for a while. Then things got really good for 6 weeks. He went to classes every day, for 6 weeks straight. We were ecstatic. He hadn't done that in years. Then it all came crashing down. He started missing again. Sometimes just a day or 2 per week, sometimes the whole week. He's in jeopardy of failing grade 11 at this point, and I guess that's just the way it will have to be.
When he misses school, it's not fun here, for him or us. No electronics (his absolute fav thing to do), no phone, no iPad, just a Kindle, and even that gets turned off during school hours. He just lies in bed all day feeling sad. Our own anxiety about his future is through the roof.
We're at a loss. We don't know how to help him. Lowering expectations made things worse. Leaving him to decide his schedule leads to him being on his computer 12 hrs a day, then he's even worse. We talk about life, life expectations, the real world, on a regular basis. We talk about behaviour and expectations. We talk about anxiety, meditation, how to help ease anxiety. We talk about growth mindset. We talk about good habits, setting yourself up for a good day, not letting yourself down, holding yourself accountable, for yourself (not others). Then we try not talking about it at all, taking away the focus. No change.
He absolutely hates that he has very little autonomy at the moment. We talk about him having to earn it. During those 6 weeks he went to school, he had as much autonomy as a "regular" teen would have: go to bed when he wants, electronics, phone, visits with friends: none of it was denied (except we have a staunch no electronics in bed rule, non-negotiable, it's never been an issue).
I guess we're at a loss with what to do, how to help. Sounds like relieving demands is something that can help (although it didn't went we took away almost all demands), but we can't take away the demand to go to school, which is his biggest barrier.
Maybe I just need commiseration. This is by far the hardest year I've ever had in my life of parenting. It's so hard, and all I can do is support, as HE needs to find a way through this, and I can only do so much, especially now as he gets older, he needs to be the one that takes control of this.
Can anyone relate? Where can I go for resources on this specific school avoidance?

Y'all gonna hate me for this one but I couldn't even finish this new video. Too many bits in between each song played...to the point I'd forget the song played before they would guess. I'd be okay with it if the bits were funny, but they aren't. They feel like bits just for the sake of having bits. The bit overload works better on the fued and jeopardy formats but on the guessing games the game gets lost in them and then if they aren't funny it's like why am I even watching?
I'm just disappointed because as a music nerd, the guessing the artist from the old song was always an interesting game cuz I liked hearing what some of these artists sounded like before they found their sound or whatever. Instead I just found myself losing interest and zoning out cuz none of these try hard bits were hitting...

When "Jeopardy!" got a new "electronic" looking set for their 8th season in the fall of 1991, there's something I wish they had continued doing that season. That is use the swooshing sound in the Jeopardy! round before popping the dollar values into the board. They could've introduced a new visual effect for the Jeopardy! title card transitioning to the dark blue background the dollar values are shown on. Like maybe a pixelation effect.
Like this for example:
Alex says "Let's go to work in the Jeopardy! round. Put the board in motion." Then the swooshing sound sounds. When it does, the Jeopardy! title card pixelates into the dark blue background, then the dollar values ($100 to $500 at the time) pop in like normal. And then they reveal the categories.
In the Double Jeopardy! round, they still just pop in the dollar values ($200 to $1,000 at the time) before revealing the categories.
I wish they had done that when they got that new set in 1991.

We are currently involved in a concurrent sale (I don’t know the technical term for it…basically we put an offer on a house (A) and the next day listed our own condo (B) which someone else has put an offer on).
Everything seemed to be going fine until today when our Realtor (who is the listing agent of both A and B, and is also representing us as the buyers of A. A separate agent is representing the buyers of B) called us to tell us that the buyers of B are backing out due to their loan being rejected because of a typo. Supposedly, the developer for the community where B is located erroneously put in the CCRs that short term rentals are allowed, even though they aren’t. He has since corrected it, but since the buyers’ mortgage company already saw the incorrect version, they’ve automatically rejected it and said it won’t pass conforming loan standards. The buyers of B have since canceled their contract, which puts our purchase of A in jeopardy. My question is, does this sound legitimate? I’ve never heard of a loan being irrevocably denied based on a typo. We are wondering if they are actually just having second thoughts but don’t want to lose their earnest deposit.

Using a friend's account as I don't have one.
On Saturday at 11pm, I (40F) saw a post on facebook from my church's pastor with a call to donate during a special collection on Sunday for a family in need which sounded an awful lot like mine. I showed the post to my husband (44M) and asked if he knew which family the post was regarding. He informed me that the post was regarding OUR family. I was SHOCKED. I knew nothing about any of this.
At first I was angry at the pastor for not getting our (my husband and I) permission before doing this. However, my husband then said that he spoke to our pastor Friday afternoon about our financial situation and this was the solution that they (my husband and our pastor) came up with.
Context: On Friday, we did have a financial emergency. I run the family finances and I noticed two saving accounts had been closed without our knowledge and about $1k is missing, thus putting us in jeopardy of being unable to pay the mortgage until a week after it is due, and that doesn't take into account groceries, household goods, etc.
The bank is working on it, but it is a holiday weekend and we won't hear back until Tuesday at the earliest. Mortgage is due (to the same bank) three days after that.
I told my husband that he should have talked to me BEFORE speaking with the pastor about our financial issues. He said he was sorry and that he would talk to me before doing anything like that again.
I went to bed but couldn't sleep. The more I thought about it, the more violated I felt. I am an SA survivor, and the child of emotionally immature parents, so consent is VERY important to me, both of which my husband is very aware of. I admit that I have a hard time accepting help sometimes, but it isn't the church's generosity that bothers me. I probably would have been fine with the plan if my husband had talked to me about it first. Publicizing our financial need without my consent or knowledge feels like a major betrayal. We've been married 17 years and this lack of communication issue seems like a pattern with my husband. I communicate to HIM when I feel trust has been broken. He apologizes, promises to do better, and nothing seems to change.
I love my husband very much and we have children together, so I don't want to separate from him. But I also don't want this cycle to keep repeating. I feel like my trust in him has shattered. He can talk forever about the day he had at work but won't have any deeper discussions longer than two minutes. I don't know what to do.
Additional info: I have been seeing a therapist for a while now but my husband has not attended counseling since before we were married. I/we are open to counseling....if he can actually follow through.
My best friend wants me to point out that if I hadn't seen the facebook post on Saturday night, I would have been blindsided by it, AT CHURCH, with my in-laws present. My husband had no intention of telling me anything about this special collection for our family prior to it actually happening.
He says he felt like he was "solving the problem for me".
Is this relationship salvageable??

(This is my first attempt at custom jeopardy)
These question deal with our friends backstage and their work in live entertainment.
$200- Stagehands are part of this union, IATSE for short.
$400- These scenic pieces are built in two styles, Broadway and Hollywood.
$600- Hot, hot! Electricians will use two hot phases to get this many volts, instead of just 120 volts from neutral and hot phases.
$800- The sound mixer for a show goes by this Alphanumeric term.
$1000- This verb can mean to create a wig, as well as to circulate air through a room.

Microplastics, heat waves, terrorism, bird flu, and another big iceberg breaking off Antarctica.
Last Week in Collapse: May 19-25, 2024
This is Last Week in Collapse, a weekly newsletter compiling some of the most important, timely, useful, soul-crushing, ironic, stunning, exhausting, or otherwise must-see/can’t-look-away moments in Collapse.
This is the 126th newsletter. You can find the May 12-18 edition here if you missed it last week. You can also receive these posts (with images) every Sunday in your email inbox with Substack.
——————————
Climatologists predict many more heat waves across southern Asia over the coming decades. Hundreds of people were treated for heatstroke in Pakistan after a 49 °C (120 °F) heat wave rolled through. Temperatures are expected to reach 55 °C (131 °F) by the end of May. In Mexico, 80+ monkeys dropped dead of heat stroke, with many others requiring medical attention. It’s gonna be a bad hurricane season.
We are experiencing another negative side effect from microplastics: they are reducing the rate of carbon sinking in the oceans. This is because clumps of carbon, which would ordinarily sink to the seafloor, are also taking in microplastics, which are more buoyant. Increased concentrations of micro/nanoplastics also interfere with phytoplankton’s ability to capture carbon. But some good news: two teenage inventors have created an object that filters out microplastics using ultrasonic sound waves.
Mismanagement of grazing lands worldwide is resulting in their breakdown, and the release of larger quantities of carbon. One researcher said that “almost 35—even 50 percent—of rangelands are already degraded,” a significant amount of land, considering over half the earth’s land is classified as such.
A 4.4 tremor near an Italian supervolcano, followed by dozens of mini-quakes, forced the evacuation of at-risk residents. Scientists continue warning about ocean water undercutting the Doomsday Glacier causing “vigorous melting.” A new calving has split a large iceberg off Antarctica’s Brunt Ice Shelf, weeks after a new crack had appeared.
A study00110-1) looking into endangered species claims researchers have a bias towards land animals, neglecting fungi, plants, and marine animals. They say this narrow focus is leading to “silent extinction” among understudied organism species necessary to maintain stable biodiversity.
Migratory fish stocks have Collapsed by over 80% since 1970, scientists say. Drought has destroyed 70% of lemons in Karnataka state (pop: 64M), India, while strawberry harvests were hit in northern India. Martinique declared its first Drought ever.
Southern Vietnam hit an all-time high temperature at night. And a number of Caribbean records were broken last week as well. Sydney, Australia, continues breaking new climate/weather records. 66 more people died in flooding in Afghanistan. Saudi Arabia is warning of incredible temperatures at this year’s Hajj. And let’s not forget new sea-surface temperatures in the north Atlantic.
About a third of the mighty Amazon rainforest is suffering from Drought, based on a paywalled study in PNAS. “If we are already seeing a tipping point getting closer at this macro forest level, then it must be getting worse at a micro level,” said the study’s lead author. Brazil’s savannah is reportedly experiencing its worst Drought in 700+ years. Meanwhile, Brazil’s southern region is still flooded, 500,000+ people displaced, rice fields obliterated, people fallen sick, and much of the infrastructure beyond repair.
Drought in Adelaide (pop: 1.4M), Australia. A record-breaking heat index in Miami for this time of year. Mexico says 12 people died from heat stroke during a 10-day period in May.
A study published a few days ago lays out the risk to Arctic watersheds from melting permafrost—bringing iron and other dangerous metals downstream, rusting the rivers and endangering these fragile ecosystems.
——————————
Scientists looking into malaria predict a massive increase in the number of people living in malaria-endemic regions by the end of this century. Rivers and floodplains are especially dangerous zones for the mostly tropical disease. The full study, published in Science, indicates a longer transmission season in a much more populous Africa.
A study published last month in Environmental Science & Technology examined how microplastics enter our bodies across 109 different countries. The regions of the world which ingest and inhale microplastics are, by far, east and southeast Asia. Fish is also the top microplastic-containing food—and it’s not even close. However, the data relied upon in this study ended in 2018, so there’s a large gap in recent nano/microplastics development.

“Indonesia tops the global per capita MP dietary intake at 15 g monthly. In Asian, African, and American countries, including China and the United States, airborne and dietary MP uptake increased over 6-fold from 1990 to 2018….57% of plastic particles in foods are mainly from aquatic sources….Removing 99% of aquatic plastic debris by water management for surface water quality control in freshwater watersheds, wetlands, and lakes, as well as ocean cleanups or effective solid waste management, can decrease human MP exposure by 55%....MP removal from a single type of water system cannot hamper their transport among other systems and still leads to exposure and long-term impacts on the entire freshwater environment and food web….

Another study on microplastics claims that most microplastics in the seas have escaped detection altogether, for now. Estimates of microplastics off the coast of Venezuela are believed to be higher than previously thought. A sampling of microplastics off the eastern coast of the United States found a greater number of plastic particles farther south, where they were also smaller. The largest size microplastics in the region were identified off the coast of North Carolina. According to their global survey, “detected MPs less than 53 micrometers at a rate of six orders of magnitude higher than all of the combined reports.” And concentrations of microplastics in men’s balls are also higher than estimated.
A study published last week in Communications Earth & Environment predicts that southern California will experience 3x greater coastal erosion by 2050—driving a 5x cost increase in “coastal living”. The current “shoreline retreat rate” in those beaches is 1.45m per year, a figure expected to jump to 2.12m by 2050 and 3.18m by 2100. Similar beach erosion rates are estimated for many African, Australian, Arabian, and other beachfronts. “The environmental and ecological impacts of the needed artificial beach nourishment have yet to be fully assessed.”
Today about 55% of people worldwide lack clean water at least once a month. By 2100, the figure is expected to reach 66%. A gust of wind toppled a stadium at a political event in Mexico, killing nine people. An explosion in a sugar factory in Tanzania killed eleven.
Australia has reported its first human case of bird flu, in a child who returned from India recently; a second farm has contracted a strain of avian flu in Australia as well. Meanwhile, another American dairy worker tested positive, this one in Michigan. “It is worrisome that the virus is spreading widely in cows because this can lead to changes in the virus that could potentially increase human susceptibility,” one medical expert said. Avian flu/HPAI/bird flu/H5N1 has now infected 48 mammal species, in addition to 24 bird species, and has been found on all 7 continents and held responsible for tens of millions of animal deaths so far.
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The International Criminal Court has issued arrest warrants to several Hamas leaders, as well as two top Israeli officials, for war crimes & crimes against humanity in Israel & Palestine. A few European states declared their recognition of Palestine as a State. Hostilities and shortages are impeding UN humanitarian aid and the U.S. alleges that none of the aid unloaded at their new pier has gone to the broader Palestinian population—although well over 500 metric tonnes have been unloaded. Exchanges continue between Israel and Hezbollah. The ICJ—the UN’s top court—ordered a stop to Israel’s Rafah offensive, though its rulings require the Security Council’s approval for any binding effect.
Iran’s ultraconservative President died in a helicopter crash last Sunday. The UN claims 140,000+ Somalians have been displaced in the last 4 months from flooding & conflict. Italy’s conservatives are pushing for military conscription, as are the British conservatives.
Sri Lanka and Bangladesh sent security forces implicated in murder & torture to work as UN peacekeepers… 12 people were confirmed dead, and dozens others reported killed, after a raid in Nigeria’s north. A number of insurgents and soldiers were killed at a battle in Niger. Colombia’s insurgents launched two attacks on Monday, killing two in total and injuring a handful of others.
Dozens of people were arrested, and several killed, in an attempted coup in Kinshasa (pop: 17M), the capital of the DRC—according to reports, anyway. The attackers launched simultaneous attacks at the residence of the President and the Parliamentary Speaker-to-be, though both were unsuccessful. Initial reports claimed that the coup was plotted by a political rival living in the U.S.
A 37-page doomy governmental report on future threats to Canada paints a picture of a nation vulnerable to an overload of 35 specific risks. The most likely two are a Collapse of truth and the looming loss of biodiversity.

“More powerful generative AI tools, declining trust in traditional knowledge sources, and algorithms designed for emotional engagement rather than factual reporting could increase distrust and social fragmentation….Ecosystem collapse and the loss of biodiversity could have cascading impacts on all living things, putting basic human needs such as clean air, water, and food in jeopardy….Emergency responses may be unable to keep pace….Extreme weather events could also result in regular shocks to trade, volatile price of goods, and increased travel restrictions. Meanwhile, an already fragile healthcare system may crumble under surging demand….billionaires could gain warfare capabilities and control over natural resources and strategic assets. Some might co-opt national foreign policy or take unilateral diplomatic or military action….”
“Social cohesion may erode as a flood of undetectable AI-generated content manipulates and divides populations, fueling values-based clashes….As an energy and water-intensive technology, AI could also put pressure on supplies of vital resources….population growth, climate change, extreme weather events, and conflict outbreaks may further limit resource availability….as the extremely wealthy continue to accumulate a larger share of the wealth, resentment may deepen until calls for greater wealth redistribution reach a critical point…..antimicrobial resistance (AMR), biological threats, and augmented humans could further push the {healthcare} system beyond the brink….Boys and men face unprecedented levels of educational dropout, unemployment, and loneliness….Diminishing trust, the assertion of values, acts of interference, the battle for technological superiority, and the fight over natural resources and supply chains {could} propel great powers into a world war…” -selections from the report.

A large majority of Americans (Democrats & Republicans alike) are worried about political violence following the upcoming November 5 election; yet about half believe there will be violence. A less-than-oblique reference by Donald Trump that President Biden was ready to employ “deadly force” during the 2022 documents raid on Mar-a-Lago hasn’t lowered the political temperature either. And North Korea is supposedly planning some kind of military action to disrupt the US election season.
The German climate activist/protest group Letzte Generation (Last Generation) has been determined to be a criminal organization by authorities after repeated disruptions to oil refineries and art galleries. It is reportedly the first time a non-violent protest group in Germany has been labeled as such.
Chinese military drills escalated last week over the inauguration of a new Taiwanese President. Towns in Texas are reaching a breaking point in their worsening Water War with Mexico. Difficulties remain between old water negotiations between India & Bangladesh. Haiti’s healthcare system continues collapsing. 11 migrants, likely expelled from Algeria into Niger, died of thirst or heat stroke.
Over 3,000 Ukrainian convicts have applied to join the military in exchange for reduced sentences. President Zelenskyy’s first five-year term has elapsed, though new elections will probably not be held until after the conclusion of the War. A missile attack in Kharkiv slew seven and injured many others. A few days later another missile struck a hardware store in Kharkiv, killing twelve and dozens more. Some 14,000 have fled from around Kharkiv since Russia’s recent offensive began there.
Russia is increasing reliance on “glide bombs,”, which are old Soviet bombs outfitted with new unfolding wings & navigation controls. The large number of these bombs means it is too expensive to intercept them once dropped. Russia also redrew its maritime waters in the Baltic Sea last week (effective next January, they say), part of a hybrid “shadow war” to disable the West. Nuclear drills near Ukraine’s border aren’t exactly reassuring, either.
Young Burmese fighters are self-activating against the junta’s military forces. The desperate former bystanders are hardening for battle; though their matériel is in short supply, they continue to make small victories. In Sudan, tens of thousands more flee El-Fasher, where ethnic cleansing and terrorism has killed at least 85 people.
——————————
Select comments/threads from the subreddit last week suggest:
-After severe storms & tornadoes took out electricity for some 360,000 Texans, one redditor in preppers made a comprehensive situation report for how people were getting by in the aftermath of an urban infrastructure Collapse. It’s worth a read if you think it could happen where you live.
-The education system in America has fallen apart, based on this weekly observation from New Jersey. Are schools are merely a thin cover for the depression, rot, and brokenness of society? Also, this observer claims that the state of addiction to drugs & alcohol is at crisis levels.
Got any feedback, questions, comments, complaints, upvotes, hate mail, free COVID tests, doomy geocaches, drought-resistant seeds, etc.? Check out the Last Week in Collapse SubStack if you don’t want to check collapse every Sunday, you can receive this newsletter sent to your (or someone else’s) email inbox every weekend. What did I forget this week?

Greetings fellow AI enthusiasts! 🤖
Today, let's dive into the fascinating world of cognitive computing. This isn't just about number crunching – it's about creating systems that can mimic human thought processes and decision-making. 🤯
So, what exactly is cognitive computing?
Imagine a computer system that doesn't just process data, but also:

• Understands Context: It gets the meaning behind the words, taking into account things like location, time, and even emotions.
• Interacts Like a Human: It can have conversations with you, whether you type, speak, or gesture.
• Learns on Its Own: It constantly adapts and improves, just like you do when you learn something new.

Sounds like science fiction, right?
Not anymore! Cognitive computing is already being used in various industries:

• Finance: Personalized recommendations based on your spending habits.
• Healthcare: Helping doctors diagnose diseases from medical images.
• Customer Service: Intelligent chatbots that understand your questions and provide helpful answers.
• Search Engines: Delivering more relevant search results by understanding your complex queries.

The most famous example? IBM Watson, which famously beat human champions on Jeopardy! 🏆
The Future of Cognitive Computing with 1Hub.ai
At 1Hub.ai, we're excited about the potential of cognitive computing to revolutionize how we interact with technology. We believe that by making AI tools more accessible and user-friendly, we can empower individuals and businesses alike to leverage the power of this groundbreaking technology.
Let's Discuss!

• What are your thoughts on cognitive computing?
• How do you think it will impact our lives in the future?
• What applications are you most excited about?

Let's chat in the comments below! 👇

First Prev
Star Crossed [Multiple Free Sample Chapters] Patreon Subreddit Discord Paperback NOP2 Species Lore
Memory Transcription Subject: Elias Meier, Former UN Secretary-General
Date [standardized human time]: July 21, 2160
The rippling alarm sounded from my holopad, waking me up with some semblance of a normal routine. Virnt had worked tirelessly to adjust the sleep suite, in the hopes of stabilizing my sanity. The Tilfish had worked in the ability to be woken by touch or noises, since it was a problem that I was unwakeable with the press of a button. If there was an emergency or someone who needed to speak with me, I needed to be jolted out of my slumber without going into my code and halting the program. That was doubly true if I was to partake in diplomatic missions outside of Earth…something that might be a necessity should we continue to strike out with Shield members. Our plan, after the Duerten Forum, was to get a few parties with lesser influence on our side to go after the big fish.
I’d tried approaching several species alongside Kuemper: the Racads, a buffalo-like species with brown spots on their creamy hides. They’d been one of the voters for a military alliance with humanity long ago, to take on the Arxur. However, they were circulating absurd notions that we were releasing the Collective behind their backs; they’d already been none too pleased by the light punishment we selected for Isif’s fledgling nation. Our present coziness with carnivores seemed to make several Shield parties, that would’ve allied with us as total unknowns, gunshy about cooperating. I wasn’t sure I could convince even the Sapient Coalition to work with the Arxur, despite our losses.
Ironically, I’d venture the Duerten would be the most likely to accept Collective aid, since they partook in saving Kalqua alongside us. Getting the Forum to help might be the key to bring the Arxur into the fold.
However, Ambassador Korajan had been clear that the gray avians wanted no part in a war. The peculiar Ulven were next on our list, as I’d been quite intrigued by a shape that didn’t seem dissimilar to pigs—if pigs had short, prehensile trunk-like noses and koala-bear ears. They had been part of the group that voted for no contact with humanity, a substantial chunk of the Orion Arm that didn’t care what happened to us one way or another. They’d clearly had a change of heart about not interacting with us, since they had an embassy in Vienna. Much of the Shield had warmed to us since our cooperation in the Battle of Aafa, where the prey-hating Arxur and the Kolshian shadow caste fell to a combined onslaught. It still blew my mind to know that Isif led a rebellion, and that a secret conspiracy operated right beneath where Noah had given his speech.
The Ulven proved anything but warm to an in-person visit; I’d been a little taken aback when their ambassador said to my face, “Well, I guess we can’t even keep predators killed anymore.” She laughed like it was a joke, but I got the impression it was anything but. We were hurried out of the embassy after receiving a flat refusal. It’d caused me to question whether this plan, to send me on visits to our unallied neighbors, was a good idea at all. I walked over to the mirror, pulling my lips apart with my hands, and staring for what must’ve been minutes. The “teeth” were like dentures, lacking any nerves…or any need to brush them and rid myself of morning breath. Why even have a bathroom next to my quarters at all? Every fixture reminded me that I wasn’t human anymore.
“Do you remember how pain felt, robot?” I hissed at the mirror, punching the counter; the metal “knuckles” felt nothing, lacking any skin redness at all. “You ‘sleep’ with your eyes wide open. You don’t yawn, and your laugh—some prerecorded bullshit from a banquet back before first contact. Who are you even helping? I hate you!”
The Elias Meier knock-off’s face grew more emotional and distraught, but it wasn’t like I could shed any tears, even if I felt like it. I slumped over the sink, splashing water on my face; despite the fact there was no need for body temperature regulation. Virnt told me that everything I was feeling now was an emotional matrix, choosing what it thought a human would experience in response to brain patterns. I held my fingers close to my face, noticing how they’d traced Meier’s fingerprints meticulously into the tips of my digits. How did I know I was the only copy-and-paste version of myself? How did I know that I was truly the same person, when it was obvious everything else was so off?
A knock came from the door, a hesitant female voice. A real human: Erin Kuemper, who’d accepted me for reasons I couldn’t wrap my head around. Maybe it was a nice lie, believing that an old friend had come back. Elias Meier was never this volatile or easily lost to the dark thoughts that swirled in my head nonstop—that meant I wasn’t me.
“Elias? I’m sorry to disturb you, but I thought you’d want to see this,” the Secretary-General called.
I forced a calm expression, trying to smooth myself over. “I’ll be right there. I’ve been looking over the files of each Shield species nonstop, trying to solve our dilemma. There’s not too many that let humans onto their worlds—only three, in fact. Therefore, my thinking was we go for—”
“The Leshee. I was thinking the same. They’ve fallen into a powerful role, with the Duerten Forum being a shell of its old strength. If we’re giving it a final shot to get through to the Shield, we have to prostrate ourselves before one of its top dogs.”
“Good. We’re on the same page; that’s why I always enjoyed working with you, Erin.” I strolled over to the door, and faked a smile. “I suppose we should get moving then.”
“Not so fast. It’s obvious you’re suffering quite a great deal in your…new body. You don’t have to do this, Elias. There’s no diplomat I trust more, but you’re under no obligation at all, especially when it might be best for your wellbeing to sit this one out.”
I shook my head rapidly. “Please, no: don’t take this from me. I only feel like myself when I’m helping humanity. It’d drive me even more mad to know Earth is in jeopardy, and I was doing nothing. I swear, I don’t know what’s gotten into me, but I’m going to get a handle on it.”
“You really don’t know?” she chuckled. “Elias, you died. That changes a person. Then, to top it all off, you were resurrected twenty-four years in the future, without your consent. You just said you don’t feel like yourself, and how could you? No human has been where you are right now. We didn’t evolve for such a synthetic experience of the world.”
“I know that. It’s…hell, it’s truly hell. All of the little things I took for granted, never even thought about, are gone.”
Kuemper’s brows knitted with sympathy. “Would you like to talk about it? I can’t say I understand, but I’m here to listen.”
I lowered my head, avoiding her gaze. “Why are you treating me like I’m him? I’m not Elias Meier.”
“I don’t agree.”
“Why?! Why do you just accept that I’m Elias, when I’m zero percent human? I’m as good as a model predicting what he might say, not the real thing. I don’t have his body, his mind…”
“Are you familiar with the Ship of Theseus?”
“I believe so. The ship that has all of its original components replaced.”
“That’s right,” she affirmed. “Is it still the same ship? Or better yet, what if the original components are all used to make a new ship: is that more the Ship of Theseus than the original?”
“Erin, I appreciate your philosophical mind, but I don’t see the point.”
“Humor me.”
“If everything that made it itself is gone, then it’s no longer the Ship.”
“Precisely. Everything about physical Elias Meier that made you alive, that configured your brain a certain way, it’s a faded memory. There’s not a trace of it left in the body presently six feet underground.”
“So, as I simply pointed out, I’m dead.”
Erin wagged a finger. “No, you’re the new ship. Virnt took your original components and remade them down to the finest detail. You have everything that made Elias who he was, every part of him that mattered, from his soul to his mind…so you’re him, as far as I’m concerned.”
“I wasn’t remade with everything that matters. This isn’t the same body.”
The Secretary-General grinned, pointing to her face. “Neither is this. I’m a lot more wrinkly and decrepit than when you last saw me, but you still accept that I’m Erin Kuemper. You’d say I’m the same person as the seven-year-old who ran around telling everyone she worked for NASA; they just didn’t know it yet. My body is hardly the same as then.”
“That’s the natural progression of things, with aging and growth.”
“This is a progression too. You wouldn’t consider someone with prosthetics to not be themself, and this is simply a full-body prosthetic. Skin and bone isn’t what makes us human. It’s about who we are.”
“Thank you,” I acknowledged. “I, um, needed to hear that. Now, I know you’re busy, so what did you call me for?”
Kuemper passed her holopad over, arching her eyebrows. “This military briefing I and the other SC leaders just received. I think you should see it.”
I seated myself on the edge of the bed, spinning the volume wheel glyphs for long enough to crank it up. A congregation of military generals from the world’s countries—a common sight ever since first contact, as extraordinary as it was when they all came together for that initial briefing—were reviewing intelligence information on a starmap. Though she had to be getting up there in years, I recognized the shrewd eyes of General Cora Jones, leading the briefing. The American spymaster had been one I worried about having free reign with vulnerable aliens, but it seemed she’d set her sights on ensuring the SC was never left in the dark again.
Jones’ irises gleamed, as she highlighted a section of the map inside of Paltan borders. “The Sapient Coalition has taken measures to prevent stealth travel through our space. One of those initiatives, as you’re well-aware, was to install permanent sensors in warp at undisclosed locations; needless to say, that project took a lot of resources to cast a wide enough net. However, several days ago, our sensors detected the movements of thousands of drones, Orionbound. The make was indistinguishable.”
“Our enemy? The one who killed the Sivkits?” I asked Kuemper in real time.
She nodded. “We believe so.”
The American military officer turned a solemn look toward the camera. “Our belief was that they followed our subspace trails, so we immediately placed Paltan assets on lockdown and notified UN reinforcements sent to the Sivkits’ aid. However, Drilvar, Jaur, and Takkan assets were tripped later, deeper into our terrain, suggesting they’ve broken into three vectors. And it also lends itself to the…self-evident theory that they know where the heart of our power lies. They must have more intel about us than we realized.”
Murmurs spread through the delegates, as a Yotul islander spoke up. “That would mean Earth, Skalga, and Leirn are in imminent danger. We should lock down all non-essential travel, and widen the net of FTL disruptors flung far out: we can’t let them get near.”
“In my opinion, Onso, all Sapient Coalition members should be prepared. They could also try to take out what they perceive as our weakest links, but we see them coming. With disruptors, we can make it much more of a slog to get into our systems, as you suggested. That’ll acquire vital time to acquire intel on them and their capabilities, and send overwhelming reinforcements to arrive before they do.”
My mind was torn back into memories of how powerless I felt, watching Earth succumb to an extermination fleet that far outmatched it. The cold anger that had gripped me, as I realized my desperate efforts hadn’t been enough to save my home and my species; the magnitude of the death toll had weighed on my conscience even after we drove them off. Looking back with clear eyes, I thought about how I’d tipped off the Arxur to the undefended worlds, in the hopes Kalsim would turn his fleet around with the promise of mutually assured destruction. Humanity lived because I parlayed with Isif, yet that didn’t ease the burden of guilt…knowing how many innocents died on our attackers’ worlds as well.
There is a great deal of blood on my hands; I didn’t see another way, with no one to turn to but the Arxur. I hope that more species come to our aid this time, because the Sapient Coalition needs to stick together. Humanity shouldn’t ever again have to pick who lives and who dies.
Cora Jones continued her briefing, forcing me to refocus. “It is imperative that we don’t release this information in a way that incites panic. We are handling the situation, and simply want to prepare them, so they are equipped for whatever may or may not happen.”
“What the fuck am I supposed to tell Ivrana?” a Bissem general scoffed from the crowd, eyes narrowed in disgust. “I just got word from Tassi we’re hosting Sivkit refugees, which could make us a prime target. We’d need someone to defend Bissemkind.”
“That’s quite magnanimous of you to take in Sivkits, General Naltor, but I sincerely doubt Ivrana is a target—unless they have evidence that you’re a carnivore. I base that claim on the fact that they seemingly slaughtered the Osirs, but even that may have been complicated. Suffice to say, I will keep an eye on your system and ensure we have assets nearby.”
“What do you mean about the Osirs being ‘complicated?’” Onso yowled from the audience. “It’s a little late to change your story. You have millions of them already under development, and you don’t have your facts straight.”
“The matters that I have to share next don’t leave this room. It’s come to our attention that the Sivkits were traveling to the…specific planet because they believe it is their homeworld, Tinsas. We’re uncertain how they got this information, since it wasn’t in the Archives.”
The Paltan leader cleared his throat. “The Federation didn’t go out that far.”
“Or so we thought. Beyond the obvious questions of what regions they tampered with, it means we can’t rule out Federation involvement in any of this. The planet is a high-priority investigation for Project Chronicle, to verify whether this story is true. Our enemies might be aware of the fate the world suffered…for all we know, Sivkits survived there, and that’s who we’re fighting. It’d explain how they know where to look…and that theory suggests they may target the founding members who wronged them.”
“Sivkits? Skittish, unintelligent Sivkits, attacking with that kind of weaponry?” a disbelieving Mazic President Quipa called out.
“You think their targets are the founders? I won’t send resources to help the Kolshians and Farsul,” Venlil Governor Laisa scoffed, earning agreement from several others.
The Krakotl ambassador squawked in alarm, with a sudden realization. “We are considered a founding race! You said there were three vectors.”
It was a bit jarring for me to see one of the blue avians as part of humanity’s alliance; apparently, the United Nations had supported a separatist faction after the war. Learning that the Krakotl had been the first victims of the Federation—the first omnivores converted, in a cultural genocide that chilled my wires when I learned of it—created a schism on Nishtal. I wondered if I might’ve tried to bargain with them differently, had I known before the Battle of Earth. To think the species that decided we needed to be exterminated once ate fish themselves: it was a tragedy that they were brainwashed into such hatred. Our relations could’ve been different in another reality, but it was good to see they’d made amends via the SC.
If Jones is right about this being a hit job on the Federation founders, over a grudge that’s festered for years, that could destroy Nishtal all over again. I don’t want that to happen, just like I didn’t when Earth was under siege.
“That sounds like a plausible explanation,” I told Kuemper, pausing the video. “We can’t let Nishtal be destroyed again.”
The Secretary-General frowned. “We only just rebuilt their homeworld. I didn’t preside over that only to watch it burn to the ground all over again. Their species is on a precarious enough perch as is, with how many died to the raid and upheaval. But we don’t know the target for sure, so we can’t leave our closest allies undefended: it’s a catch-22.”
“The Coalition needs to band together. I agree that we can’t take any risks with Earth, but with 82 members, surely we can disperse their combined forces across a few likely targets.”
“Our generals are trying to do just that. I fear we’re fighting another war across the entire Orion Arm…and another one where ‘war crimes’ aren’t even taken into consideration. Quite simply, we need more ships. I don’t know how you did this.”
“Many sleepless nights,” I admitted. “Our buoys can continue to track them. Shit, why can’t we intercept their course?”
“They’re flying in an erratic pattern, so it’s not so simple to tell their destination. We’ll be watching if any more buoys are tripped, since we have them all over our territory. Speaking of which…you might want to see the last point on Jones’ agenda.”
I groaned. “There’s more?”
“I’m afraid so.”
General Jones raised her hands as I unpaused the video. “We have taken Nishtal’s vulnerability into consideration, and will work on contingency plans to ensure the Krakotl race is not a soft target. We’ll be in touch with all SC members to share our plans on where you can help out. However, there’s another matter I must bring to your attention. I ask you to…temper your reactions; we don’t need another war right now.”
“What other war?” the suspicious Thafki representative piped up. “What did the grays do? They’re the only ones with enough power that you wouldn’t be able to squash them, and that’s your fault!”
“It is about the Arxur, but we’re monitoring them as promised. The subspace sensors on our border with the Collective were set off a few days ago as well. Their pathing is much less evasive than our unknown friends. They seem to be heading for Apep, the Osirs’ homeworld, if my vectors are right.”
“Of course they want to have fellow hunters to join them as they terrorize the galaxy! Why would you tell those monsters?!”
“We didn’t tell the Arxur Collective a thing about this war, or the Osirs’ extermination.”
“Then who fucking did?” the Thafki whirled around, pointing a paw at the Bissem delegation. “Traitors! It was you! We should’ve never let you inside our doors.”
General Naltor scoffed. “How could we have contacted them? You’re just being racist because we’re carnivores.”
I huffed in open frustration, irritated that the Arxur had complicated this high-stakes war even further. Now, it was imperative that we find a way to make the Sapient Coalition, and potentially the Shield, accept the Collective’s aid. We did need more ships on our side, so if we could direct the carnivores to places that would take their help…it might not be a complete disaster. However, their breach of quarantine could kill our chances of turning any of the Shield or Federation remnants to our side. We needed to get ahead of this, before any of them got wind of it through other means. News of drones entering our territory might give us an opening with the Leshee, and it could at least catch Ambassador Korajan’s attention too.
“We’re going to see the Leshee. Right now,” I said to Kuemper, not wanting to waste any more time. “Let’s see if Korajan is willing to join our meeting as well. He could put in a good word for us…and for cyborg Elias Meier.”
The Secretary-General smirked. “Two steps ahead of you. Already scheduled a meeting with both of them in an hour. Who do you think I learned from?”
“I’d say you learned well, Erin. It’s time we get moving.”
I hustled out of the Terra Technologies outpost, knowing I wouldn’t get winded by the quick pace. Kuemper beckoned to her security detail, who were hovering outside with some apprehension: clearly, they weren’t comfortable leaving Earth’s current leader with the robotic mind-replica of a dead friend. That was a definite security risk, though I was glad she didn’t seem to care. It gave me purpose, and a serious distraction, to travel around on humanity’s behalf. After everything we just learned, the urgency of our diplomatic mission had just multiplied tenfold. With enemy ships having entered our space, we had to assemble as many allies as possible all over again.
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Hello,
I'd greatly appreciate your advice on what I should do.
The check engine light recently appeared on my 2003 CRV, so I went to the local auto parts store and found that the error code was P1456 with a secondary code of P0134. I was told that the most likely solution was to tighten/replace the fuel cap. I suspected this may be the issue, so prior to getting the code checked I actually took off my fuel cap and tightened it. There was an audible sound of pressure being released and a definite gasoline scent when I did this. However, the check engine light remained on throughout the 10 minute drive to the store. After leaving the store, though, I noticed that the check engine light stayed on for about a minute and then disappeared.
I'm wondering if this means that the problem has gone away. On a forum somewhere I read that the light only gets tripped when the engine is below half a tank, and only after two system checks - I have filled up since the light went away and so don't expect to see it for a while. I have also replaced the fuel cap since the light disappeared. Am I in the clear now? I'm not very knowledgeable about cars so am not sure if i I should take the car to a mechanic or if I'm putting my car in jeopardy if I don't get it inspected and continue to drive like normal. The car has otherwise been driving normally this whole time.
Thanks in advance!

I keep running into posts along the lines of "let's protest Project 2025 at Target headquarters" or "let's call for a general strike." It's as though the American left has developed an allergy to electoral politics. If this is the form anti-fascist resistance is to take in the year 2024 -- fantasy interwoven with performative politics -- be prepared to spend the second half of your life shuttered away in Jesus Camp. Pack a toothbrush.
If Project 2025 is to be defeated, it must be defeated at the ballot box. In normal times, there would be other options available to us. These are not normal times. If Democrats lose in 2024, the nation will be lost. Democracy around the world may well be lost. Hyperbolic as it sounds, these are the stakes. Any and all time that you spend organizing protests or (more probably) writing Reddit posts about organizing protests is time that would be better spent elsewhere.
Somewhere near you, there is a Democratic candidate for office who could use your help, no matter what form that help takes. Phonebank, canvas, do data entry; reach out to the campaign and ask them what they need. Phonebank for the Biden campaign. (Here are some links.) Somewhere in western Pennsylvania, there is a middle-aged man sitting hungover in his studio apartment and, if that schlub happens to pick up the phone, he could be persuaded to vote. This is how 2020 was won and how 2016 was lost: one voter at a time.
You have a local newspaper. Write a letter to the editor: tell your story; be honest, be funny, be earnest; win people over with the truth. Reach out to someone you haven't spoken to in a while. Reach out to your parents if they’re open to persuasion. Politely swat down random acts of online nihilism, populism, cynicism: push back against the usual Russo-Republican narratives -- that Trump is not a threat, that both parties are the same, that third-party votes are somehow a noble gesture. Push back against the Blue MAGA/Genocide Joe horseshit, too: remind people that Joe Biden is not the president of Israel. Remind people of the stakes. Do something tangible, no matter how small. This is how Project 2025 will be defeated: millions of people taking trillions of individual steps in the same direction.
In the words of Stephen Malkmus: it’s later than you think. There is no longer time for empty gestures, self-aggrandizement, dreamcasting, online grandstanding. There will be no general strikes: the last general strike on American soil came in 1946 and it was only partly successful. (We no longer have a mass culture that could be summoned to do something in unison.) By all means, attend a protest – but don’t waste time dreaming one up if you could be using that time to engage in direct political action either for the Democratic Party or against Project 2025.
In a world of grayness and moral ambiguity, this is zero-sum, life and death, black and white, us vs. them, good vs. evil. This may be the one and only time in your life that you get to fight for a truly just cause, secure in the knowledge that it is a just cause. You will fight through a dense fog of populist noise: all politicians are corrupt; both parties are the same; the Democrats are bought and paid for by [insert boogeyman here]. Ignore it. There will be plenty of time to split political hairs if we are fortunate enough to win this struggle. There are zero guarantees that we will. No one is looking out for us. We must stop Project 2025 ourselves.
Let this (or something like it) be your lodestar: I know what fascism looks like and Trumpism is fascism; a fascist America will put millions of lives, if not the fate of the world in jeopardy; the Democrats, warts and all, are the only force that can stop it; every issue that I care about (income inequality, climate change, civil rights, women's rights, LGBTQ rights, Israel/Palestine, Ukraine, voting rights, democracy, freedom of speech) is infinitely better served by a Democrat in the White House than it is by a fascist; my time is the least I can give if it means preserving freedom, justice, and human dignity for my own generation and all those yet to come.
Amen, or some shit.

Here’s a few games that I play that don’t involve any boards or things like that. I love playing Scattergories! Basically I use my phone and I find a list of categories online that can be read out loud with voiceover. I will get something like things you find in the kitchen. I then asked my phone to give me a random letter. Siri says your letter is C. I then go around the table and each of us say something that starts with the letter C that can be found in the kitchen but we cannot repeat an answer.
Another game is called the five second rule. But I do it in 10 seconds just to make it a little easier. Google second game. And you get something like, name three types of cake. You then have five seconds to quickly name those three things. if you do it within the time limit you get a point.
Another game I love is called dirty minds, but this one you need help with a little bit. You can find questions online, or buy the booklets themselves. This is an adult game, you get three clues that sound dirty but the answer is completely innocent. Such as: I have fuzzy balls, and I start with love but it doesn’t last long. The answer? Tennis! And then there is apples to apples, or the adult version is cards against humanity. For this one I use my phone and an app to scan text. I bought the card games and you hold five cards in your hand. You take turns drawing card. It’ll say something like: What does Bob Ross do on his day off? And all of the players read their black cards. They all have silly answers on them. You pick out the one that you think would make the judge laugh the most and place it face down. The judge then reads all the answers and picks their favorite. Whoever chose that card gets the point. There are many many games! You also have the blindfold games on iPhone. These have things such as the price is right, Jeopardy, family feud, monopoly, scrAbbell, and other things.
If they enjoy music, and you have Spotify, YouTube music, Amazon music, or a big library on your phone/tablet. You can put it on shuffle or find a decade/category they enjoy. And then you have to guess the name and the artist of the song. you get one point right for the name, and one point for the artist.
I hope this helps a little bit! I love playing games. That’s how I spend most of my time, and when I’m with family and friends I always try to start a little jam session ha ha.
What else should I add to my backpack of fun games?

I’m about to enter a deal with a friend to give him my car and letting him take over payments. I have never done this type of transaction before, so I have a lot of questions. All sound advice is greatly appreciated.
First of all, do I need to contact the lien holder of my plans? If no one first question, how do I protect myself from legal jeopardy should the person in possession of the car default on the loan? Last question, is there a boiler plate contract available on a legal site online? UPDATE: Not going through with the plan, so it’s now a voluntary repossession!
Thanks for the advice!

I'm working on designing an international auxiliary language and could use some feedback and advice. I aspire for the typical goals of making it easy to learn and speak, but more ambitiously, I refuse to accept the conventional wisdom that it's impossible to effectively utilize an a priori language where the meanings of words are directly related to their spellings. I do, however, recognize that there are inherent challenges to such a language, and I want to minimize those as much as possible in order to ensure the language's practicality and widespread adoption. I think I have some good strategies to take on the challenges, but I think I need to get a little farther to make it able to stand up to the rigors of a global population that overall isn't interested in learning a new language.
I didn't think I'd be able to focus enough to get through a comprehensive post on my language, but after spending all day working on it, I think I got it all pretty much covered. There are quite a large number of thoughts on the language I've casually accumulated over the years, so I can't (and probably shouldn't) cover everything, but I got what's important and touched on some extra stuff as well. Get comfortable because I have a lot to say.

Key features and philosophies

1. Guiding principles: I see languages as a tool for communicating ideas. There are different things about languages which I can find interesting, and I endorse creativity in fantasy languages, but with something I'm going to be stuck using on a daily basis, I just want something that gets the job done completely and efficiently. This includes being able to be as clear or as ambiguous as I desire. The reason I'm making my own language is because I don't consider natural languages to sufficiently accomplish that, and constructed languages tend to have aspects which I think could be improved upon (although I could probably get over it if any constructed language was broadly accepted). Moreover, although some level of neutrality is required for an international language to achieve maximum adoption, I'm not particularly concerned with whether my language ends up somewhat paralleling an existing language group as long as it gets the job done. However, I don't think I'm in too much jeopardy of that, and I don't think it would be too big of a deal anyway if the language was easy to learn. The only statement I'm trying to make with this is, "Now we all can finally understand each other." ... Maybe a secondary statement is, "Let's hurry up and get something better before we're all stuck with English."
2. Syllable structure: Primarily C(C)V(C)C, with longer words incorporating repeated patterns of V(C)C. I'm open to other structures, but I'd really like to always be able to tell when one word ends and another begins.
3. Phoneme scheme: Part of the reason I chose my syllable structure is because of these sounds I chose to use in the language. I'm not super attached to these particular sounds, but I want them to be easy for the largest number of people possible while also allowing for the largest number of combinations possible.
   • Leading consonants: [b, v, z, ʒ]
   • Second phonemes: [∅, l, w]
   • Vowels: [e, a, ɑ, o]
   • Fourth phonemes: [∅, ɫ, j]
   • Ending consonants: [b, v, z, ʒ]
4. Sound preferences: I'm open to a variety of phonemes to use in the language, but I have some principles which I think would prove beneficial.
   • No differentiation between voiced and unvoiced consonants (can't tell the difference very well when whispering)
   • No differentiation between plosives (can't slow them down to say them more clearly). I'd actually prefer to not have any, but there are only so many sounds to work with.
   • No nasals (can't say them when sick and can't say them as loudly). At the very least, I don't want to differentiate between nasals.
   • I don't like considering affricates to be a single unit of sound, but I'll indulge it if it improves the quality of the language.
   • Maybe only sounds present in English? I don't want to be that person who models their constructed language off of their native language, but English has many phonemes to choose from, and it's the most spoken language in the world, so it shouldn't be difficult to find someone to teach the sounds to new learners if they don't know them already, and since I'll surely be the only one creating content for quite a while, it seems sensible to choose sounds which I'm sure I can pronounce well.
5. Semantic spelling: This is the big one. Most languages that associate the spelling of the words to their meanings inevitably arrive at the situation where similar concepts sound similar, and then you get irritated when you have a hard time determining whether someone is talking about a horse or a donkey because the words are hard to differentiate, and the context can apply to either. I don't want to be that donkey (and a language like that would never be adopted), so I came up with the idea of attaching the meaning to sequences rather than the actual sounds and grouping the sounds/letters together. In essence, a group of related ideas would go through the alphabet, and a separate group of ideas would offset the letters and go through the alphabet again. Since this is a difficult concept to explain, here are some example groupings for what a word ending consisting of two sounds would be like: [eb, av, ɑz, oʒ], [ev, az, ɑʒ, ob], [ez, aʒ, ɑb, ov], and [eʒ, ab, ɑv, oz]. Within each group of related meaning, the words would have rather distinct endings (e.g. "tree" and "bush" would sound sufficiently different despite referring to similar things), and the other groups with the similar-sounding endings would refer to concepts that aren't likely to be confused (e.g. "tree" and "treat" may sound similar, but no one mixes them up because they refer to two completely different things).
6. Isolating language: I prefer to have concepts stand on their own and to have additions to the concepts be separate. As such, I would want aspects such as tense and number to be separate words (which can be omitted).
7. Dividing up words: I also kind-of like the idea of using multiple short words to describe a complex idea rather than one long word, but I don't want to go crazy with it like Toki Pona which only has 120 or so words; I want words to be able to be long if necessary. Shorter words would have an easier time sounding distinct, though.
8. Shortening words and pronouns: Once a topic was established, further discussion could refer back to the topic using only the first one or two syllables. (e.g. If you were talking about a banana and a window, you could later say how you threw the "ban" out the "win".) I'd like to largely replace pronouns with this, but I'd have to be careful not to introduce confusion.
9. Prepositions and conjunctions: I would have a typical array of prepositions and conjunctions, but I would allow optional additions at the end of or after those words to specify exactly how the clause relates to the rest of the sentence. I hate seeing things like "shortening words and pronouns" and having no way of determining whether it's "shortening [words and pronouns]" or "[shortening words] and pronouns". (It's supposed to be the second one.)
10. Miscellaneous: Subject-verb-object unless prepositions indicate otherwise; no gender, cases, or tones (as if anyone thought otherwise); adjectives after nouns; no agreement between nouns, verbs, adjectives, or anything; initial syllable stress if people feel like stressing a syllable; Latin alphabet without any accent marks, although I have aspirations of sneaking in my own script.

Remaining challenges

I think I've set my language in a pretty good direction, but there are still some shortcomings that need to be addressed, and I think I'm pushing the limits of what I'm able to accomplish without input from anyone else. Armed with the knowledge of my language (if you were able to get through it all), I'm hoping you could provide your advice on how I might be able overcome these shortcomings.

1. Settling on phonemes and word structure: I don't think my current system is too bad, but it only allows me to make 576 single-syllable words, and some of those words are kind-of cumbersome. I'm shooting for close to 1,000 single-syllable words which are all fairly easy to pronounce.
2. Phonetic Distinctiveness: I think my method of grouping the sounds and meanings is a good tactic, but as words get longer, it becomes less effective because the differences become subtle enough that it would be possible to mistake the word for one that differs on the next level above. For example, "tree" could be distinguished from "bush", but what if the similar-sounding word was "flower" instead of "treat"? That would be fine for, "I climbed a [tree or flower]," but it would be hard for something like, "Look at that beautiful [tree or flower]!" I've brainstormed a number of ways to account for this such as conditionally devoicing the preceding syllable or adding a plosive to it or structuring the distribution of words to always sound like very different things (e.g. living things always sound like nonliving things or verbs always sound like nouns or something), but it's a tricky issue, and I don't want to make the rules so complex that people would prefer everything to be arbitrary.
3. Distributing and categorizing concepts: This problem is two-fold: deciding how to categorize every thought imaginable and making sure that every category has an even distribution of easy and harder-to-pronounce words. Although I may make some controversial choices, I feel like I'm capable of taking this on; it would just be difficult, and I've been held up by the first two issues. However, I could surely benefit from other opinions, and certain word structures might make it more difficult for me. I've also considered making everything after a certain point completely arbitrary because ideas don't like to fit into a set number of categories, and I suppose it wouldn't be too bad if the most obscure word could still have 75% of its meaning known from the spelling.
4. Accommodating borrowing: I don't want to borrow anything from any language; I'd much rather have a new word or phrase with the same meaning be added to my language's dictionary. However, it's hard to keep up with that stuff, and if people don't have suitable way of describing that concept with my language, they'll just bring the original word into my language and destroy all of my careful planning. I'd like to have some way bringing those words into the fold just enough that they don't stick out like a sore thumb but can still be recognized as loanwords which need a more conventional designation. Maybe adapting the phonology and adding a loanword prefix? Maybe adding an adapted word directly to a category if the categories aren't too deep and arbitrariness is allowed after that? What about technical terms? What about names? I have some ideas, and I'm not afraid to go against the grain, but I'd much rather get something that works as opposed to try to strongarm the world into my ideology (not that fitting the world into my ideology isn't appealing on some level, though).
5. Anything else: Have I overlooked anything? There must be something. What do I think is no big deal but actually matters a lot to other people? I'm only one person, and I'm a freak of nature on top of it, so I'm bound to be out-of-touch with the general population on some things. What else do I need to do to make sure my language is a success (besides popularizing it)? It's not possible to satisfy everyone, and I reserve the right to take my language in whatever direction I feel like, but if I don't want this to be a huge waste of my time, it would make sense for me to carefully consider what other people have to say.

If you've gotten all the way down to this part of my post, you already have my appreciation. If you want to be a real rockstar, though, I would be even more appreciative of any assistance you can offer. The rest of my life doesn't put me in a good position to get language advice from people, and it would be nice to get meaningful feedback on my thoughts rather than blank stares followed by questions of why I would want to pursue such a thing. I eagerly await your comments.

I don’t really know where to begin, but I’ll just start off my saying I’ve been into LOA for many years probably close to a decade. Researching the works of Florence Scovel Shinn, Neville Goddard, Helene Hadsell, etc. I’ve had some successful manifestations but when it comes to large things (important things) it’s seems I have had trouble bringing those things to life. Let me share some of my story and struggles as maybe that could help shine a light to any blockages that I’m not seeing.
One thing is my finances, I am severely behind paying taxes (I’ve never filed or paid since I was 18, I’m 27 now) and know I need to get caught up somehow but don’t know where to start. I work a serving job where on average I’ve made $48k-$52k per year and get paid $2.13 an hour. But because of my backed taxes they garnish my wages, not that it really effects me as I get cash every night, but it keeps me from getting an hourly job during the day because I know the job will be garnished. I also am having trouble renewing my liquor license because of my backed taxes which puts my job in jeopardy. I’ve moved into a friends apartment and am staying in their sunroom to try to cut down on living expenses but because of the economy it’s been difficult to try to get ahead.
Second thing my health. A few years ago I tested positive for HIV, but because I “make too much” I didn’t qualify for any assistance and because of my backed taxes I can’t sign up for the affordable care act and I can’t get health insurance otherwise because it’s considered a “pre-existing condition” so health insurance won’t insure me for care. I try to eat healthy and eat organically and take vitamins; but it gets expensive and I get tired of taking 20 vitamins morning and night just to feel normal. If I don’t take all the vitamins/supplements I feel tired all the time, I get sick easily, I get skin rashes. So because I can’t get treatment, taking all these vitamins is the only way I can treat myself and see/feel results. Sometimes I feel so tired I have to call off from work; which isn’t great because I need to make more money to try to get on top of my finances, but I realize rest is really important too, especially with having HIV. Because of this disease my teeth are also experiencing rot and decay, even though I brush and floss daily and use a water flosser. 3 of my teeth have large cavities (holes to the pulp) which also cause me a lot of pain daily.
I’ve been visualizing and trying to manifest a large windfall of money for a while as I see it as a way to solve a lot of my problems. I know money can’t fix everything in life; but it can help. If I can manifest a large enough sum of money I can pay off all my tax debt, get the healthcare I need, and get my teeth fixed,get my own place, amongst other things in my life.
As far as career, I want to be a designer for my job, both in fashion and home design, and I’m rather good at it (not to sound conceited) but because I’m tired a lot of the time because of my untreated disease it makes it harder to pursue those things while maintaining my serving job that provides me my income. My brain isn’t as sharp as it used to be I’ve noticed, not sure if that’s linked to the HIV or not, I used to have more stamina and drive, I used to be more social and outgoing, but I just don’t have the energy to be myself anymore, which makes me sad.
I really don’t know where to go, or what to do. All I ask for is for my previous backed taxes to be resolved, access to healthcare so I can feel better, getting my teeth fixed, getting my own place, and getting my energy back so I can focus on the things in life that bring me joy & fulfillment. When I go to bed I visualize perfect health, wealth and happiness. I just wonder when it will come my way.

I am not going into detail of what has been happening in my relationship. I am a guy dating a girl and my insecurities have been manifesting in a way that is toxic. I am constantly afraid I am not good enough for my girlfriend, creating a self fulfilling prophecy. I seek validation from her to comfort myself in a sense, give me a temporary feeling of everything being okay when its not.
I really do love her and I am able to see through mistakes I have made that my lack in confidence in myself is poisoning our relationship. This is my first relationship, I am 22 and we have been together for a year. This is not her first, she has been in quite a few relationships. She understood going in that my lack of experience would be challenging and she has been very lenient on me. But I keep letting my insecurities push the limit.
I hate myself for my mindset. Growing up, and even now, my parents always expressed disappointment in me no matter how well I achieved. I was at the top of my class and they still were disappointed in me and found ways to compare me with other people that are doing better. Even going as far as saying they wish they could replace me with a better child. I believe I have identified that as the root of my problem. I don't want this to define me. Why am I letting my strict parents dictate how I feel about myself. I have set goals I would like to complete in a year, hoping that this will increase my self esteem and have been working on them. But it will take time to change myself. I know that my past experiences does not excuse me from my behaviours now, I am 22 and should know better, why is this still affecting me?
My question is, how else can I begin to learn to love myself. I don't want her to carry the brunt of keeping my ego boosted as well as working on herself. It is absolutely not fair and I'm disgusted at myself. I am ashamed that I have caused my issues to bleed into her life. We have been friends for years, and she obviously cares about me deeply and sees something in me. Until this started coming up in the past couple of months, we had lots of wonderful moments, we were excited for our future together. I have put that all in jeopardy. I don't deserve the chances she gives me, but I know I have the capability to change. Even though it doesn't sound like it from what I have said, I have grown considerably in the past 2 years in how I see myself. It is definitely something I can do.
I have sought out counselling but it is still the early days and obviously there hasn't been a lot of time to sort myself out. I am considering proposing a break, not to see other people, absolutely not, but to focus on my studies and self love. I have heard that breaks are normally precursors to a break up. I don't want an ex or a relationship with anyone else. I wholeheartedly want to treat her right and make myself a proper man who is confident in himself and free of negative self-talk.
It may be too late to salvage this. I don’t even deserve her for being so unfair and for hurting her with my jealousy towards her exes. The damage may have been irreparably done. But I am willing to do anything it takes to try and make it up to her, prove that I can let go of my jealousy and negative mindset and insecurities. The way I am is not good enough, not for me, not for her, not for our relationship. I want to be better, I want to be proud of myself.

I don’t really know where to begin, but I’ll just start off my saying I’ve been into LOA for many years probably close to a decade. Researching the works of Florence Scovel Shinn, Neville Goddard, Helene Hadsell, etc. I’ve had some successful manifestations but when it comes to large things (important things) it’s seems I have had trouble bringing those things to life. Let me share some of my story and struggles as maybe that could help shine a light to any blockages that I’m not seeing.
One thing is my finances, I am severely behind paying taxes (I’ve never filed or paid since I was 18, I’m 27 now) and know I need to get caught up somehow but don’t know where to start. I work a serving job where on average I’ve made $48k-$52k per year and get paid $2.13 an hour. But because of my backed taxes they garnish my wages, not that it really effects me as I get cash every night, but it keeps me from getting an hourly job during the day because I know the job will be garnished. I also am having trouble renewing my liquor license because of my backed taxes which puts my job in jeopardy. I’ve moved into a friends apartment and am staying in their sunroom to try to cut down on living expenses but because of the economy it’s been difficult to try to get ahead.
Second thing my health. A few years ago I tested positive for HIV, but because I “make too much” I didn’t qualify for any assistance and because of my backed taxes I can’t sign up for the affordable care act and I can’t get health insurance otherwise because it’s considered a “pre-existing condition” so health insurance won’t insure me for care. I try to eat healthy and eat organically and take vitamins; but it gets expensive and I get tired of taking 20 vitamins morning and night just to feel normal. If I don’t take all the vitamins/supplements I feel tired all the time, I get sick easily, I get skin rashes. So because I can’t get treatment, taking all these vitamins is the only way I can treat myself and see/feel results. Sometimes I feel so tired I have to call off from work; which isn’t great because I need to make more money to try to get on top of my finances, but I realize rest is really important too, especially with having HIV. Because of this disease my teeth are also experiencing rot and decay, even though I brush and floss daily and use a water flosser. 3 of my teeth have large cavities (holes to the pulp) which also cause me a lot of pain daily.
I’ve been visualizing and trying to manifest a large windfall of money for a while as I see it as a way to solve a lot of my problems. I know money can’t fix everything in life; but it can help. If I can manifest a large enough sum of money I can pay off all my tax debt, get the healthcare I need, and get my teeth fixed,get my own place, amongst other things in my life.
As far as career, I want to be a designer for my job, both in fashion and home design, and I’m rather good at it (not to sound conceited) but because I’m tired a lot of the time because of my untreated disease it makes it harder to pursue those things while maintaining my serving job that provides me my income. My brain isn’t as sharp as it used to be I’ve noticed, not sure if that’s linked to the HIV or not, I used to have more stamina and drive, I used to be more social and outgoing, but I just don’t have the energy to be myself anymore, which makes me sad.
I really don’t know where to go, or what to do. All I ask for is for my previous backed taxes to be resolved, access to healthcare so I can feel better, getting my teeth fixed, getting my own place, and getting my energy back so I can focus on the things in life that bring me joy & fulfillment. When I go to bed I visualize perfect health, wealth and happiness. I just wonder when it will come my way.

I am not going into detail of what has been happening in my relationship. I am a guy dating a girl and my insecurities have been manifesting in a way that is toxic. I am constantly afraid I am not good enough for my girlfriend, creating a self fulfilling prophecy. I seek validation from her to comfort myself in a sense, give me a temporary feeling of everything being okay when its not.
I really do love her and I am able to see through mistakes I have made that my lack in confidence in myself is poisoning our relationship. This is my first relationship, I am 22 and we have been together for a year. This is not her first, she has been in quite a few relationships. She understood going in that my lack of experience would be challenging and she has been very lenient on me. But I keep letting my insecurities push the limit.
I hate myself for my mindset. Growing up, and even now, my parents always expressed disappointment in me no matter how well I achieved. I was at the top of my class and they still were disappointed in me and found ways to compare me with other people that are doing better. Even going as far as saying they wish they could replace me with a better child. I believe I have identified that as the root of my problem. I don't want this to define me. Why am I letting my strict parents dictate how I feel about myself. I have set goals I would like to complete in a year, hoping that this will increase my self esteem and have been working on them. But it will take time to change myself. I know that my past experiences does not excuse me from my behaviours now, I am 22 and should know better, why is this still affecting me?
My question is, how else can I begin to learn to love myself. I don't want her to carry the brunt of keeping my ego boosted as well as working on herself. It is absolutely not fair and I'm disgusted at myself. I am ashamed that I have caused my issues to bleed into her life. We have been friends for years, and she obviously cares about me deeply and sees something in me. Until this started coming up in the past couple of months, we had lots of wonderful moments, we were excited for our future together. I have put that all in jeopardy. I don't deserve the chances she gives me, but I know I have the capability to change. Even though it doesn't sound like it from what I have said, I have grown considerably in the past 2 years in how I see myself. It is definitely something I can do.
I have sought out counselling but it is still the early days and obviously there hasn't been a lot of time to sort myself out. I am considering proposing a break, not to see other people, absolutely not, but to focus on my studies and self love. I have heard that breaks are normally precursors to a break up. I don't want an ex or a relationship with anyone else. I wholeheartedly want to treat her right and make myself a proper man who is confident in himself and free of negative self-talk.
It may be too late to salvage this. I don’t even deserve her for being so unfair and for hurting her with my jealousy towards her exes. The damage may have been irreparably done. But I am willing to do anything it takes to try and make it up to her, prove that I can let go of my jealousy and negative mindset and insecurities. The way I am is not good enough, not for me, not for her, not for our relationship. I want to be better, I want to be proud of myself.

My last flat was unbearable.
I mean, you try having a family of 11 live above you, when half of them are under the age of 8. Also try having a pair of raging alcoholic neighbours on either side of you. A pair who were once married to each other. My eyes rivalled that of pigeons’ due to no sleep.
I lasted a total of 21 days. I know, new record huh? I just about shoved the keys back in the grubby hands of my landlord when I finally saw the lunacy inscribed on his face. No wonder the rent was dirt cheap.
So I was back on the road, not on the streets though. Luckily enough I started questioning the flat by day 8, looked around for another place by day 15, and made a decision to get the hell out on day 18. 3 days of packing and it was bye-bye.
My new place seemed all the better too: yes, the rent was more expensive, and yes, it only has 2 bedrooms. But at least it was a house, one where pesky neighbours were at least 5 metres away. On my right, at least. On my left? Their house - thankfully - couldn’t even be seen where I stood.
Parking my car, I skipped up towards my new house with my fresh set of keys. And on entering? Silence. Perfect still silence. Thank the Lord. I basked in it for a while before returning to my car, unloading some of my baggage. It took 3-4 hauls, but I managed to fit it into one of the bedrooms. Thankfully, the rest of my things were to be brought by moving vans in about an hour.
I envisioned what the house could look like with a few finishing touches.
“But first…”
I eyed the 2 rooms. “Mine!”
The room I had chosen to be mine gave a bright view of my own smaller garden, as well as a portion of my right neighbour’s house, but that didn’t matter much. The view in the other room would suck: just my car and some reeds.
I was just about done heaving some of my baggage into my newly-chosen room when the doorbell gave an obnoxious ring. I stood, fighting the urge to just run away into one of my rooms when it beeped again.
Reaching the door, I eyed out of the peephole to see nothing but an opaque whiteness. I guess the downside in this house is that the last tenant was a slob. I eyed some of the yellowing walls. Sighing, I opened the door.
“Hello! We’re your neighbours, Jack and Sally, and we live just there,” She motioned towards my right, “We came to introduce ourselves, and to let you know that if you ever need anything, we’re right here.”
She then shoved a basket full of biscuits at my chest, a motherly-smile stretched around her lips. She turned to leave, husband - clearly forced to follow her - in tow, when she turned around.
“Your name, dear?”
“Leen!” I shouted after her.
“Perfect.”
And perfect it was, I thought. Neighbours that respect their distance from you, and give you food? I eyed the delicious snacks in front of me. Definitely an upgrade.
Though it was at dawn the very next day that I woke up, shook.
~
See, I was just sleeping in my newly delivered bed when I heard it. Something that sounded like a bird, a huge caw, before it alternated into different pitches. Disoriented, I tried to wipe the sleep from my eyes in order to focus better. But it just made me more confused.
It sounded like a chicken.
As far as I know, this new place was not the countryside, nor farmland. So what? And why?
I stepped up to my window to take a good look outside. I wouldn’t keep a rooster in my home that’s for sure. Whatever it was, it was coming from…
My jaw dropped.
I closed my eyes and scrubbed at them harshly.
Please tell me why I opened my eyes and saw the exact same thing.
A man, on his haunches, face pointed towards the sky, was making rooster noises.
And he was on my neighbours’ garden. The ones I met earlier.
He looked absolutely demented. I wasn’t even scared then, just flabbergasted. I wasted no time calling the police at this disturbing nuisance.
When they arrived though, I saw my neighbours’ shoot straight from their house, speaking or…was it pleading? With the officers. What on Earth..?
Anyway, it was their problem now, so I went back to bed. I had a whole bunch of chores the next day, and had to get it all sorted before I returned to work.
Shutting my eyes, I wished for peace. And quiet, thank you very much.
~
At last, I woke up at 10 AM. By 1 PM, I had sorted my clothing into its respective drawers, and had decorated my bedroom walls, including a new golden addition. And now? I had food cooking on the stove. It felt satisfying, having cleaned up and now awaiting the prize of food.
I scrolled on my phone as I waited for the pasta to cook, before another ding turned my attention towards the door.
“Huh, what now?”
Unfortunately I hadn’t cleaned the peephole yet, so I had to open the door. There stood Jack and Sally. Or Sally and Jack. Jack looked lost. Sally stared deep into my eyes.
“Was it you?”
“Me? What do you mean?”
“That called the police last night?”
I recalled the past night, and gave her a thumbs up, hoping my smile was reassuring. “Yep, don’t worry, that lunatic will not be coming back ever again. He can go to the zoo if he wants to squawk.”
I should’ve taken the cue from Jack’s paling face, but Sally grabbed hold of me. “Listen here, okay? That man, the one you called the police on...” She trembled, “He’s my son! You can’t do that! He was not even on your property!”
My eyes widened. “He’s…your son?”
“Of course! How can you not see that?”
Nodding at her, I relinquished myself from the hold she had on my arms. “Okay then, sorry for the call. But I do have to mention something,” Jack started to shake his head behind his wife, but I ignored the little-to-say man, “Is there any way you can keep the noise down to a minimum? Honestly, your son has vocal cords of steel! It would wake the entire neighbourhood at this rate.”
Sally stared pointedly at me, then took a look around my house. “Very well.”
She grabbed her husband’s arm as she turned to leave, and I caught the slightest look of fear in his eyes before he was abruptly pulled away.
I dismissed it - and the sinking feeling - on discovering my very soft, overcooked pasta when I came back into my home though.
I managed to also do one thing before wrapping up: I cleaned out my door's peephole. Now I wouldn't have to open the door to know it's them. I'd just speak at them from the inside if they were to come back.
~
I woke, jolting out of my bed the very next morning, or night. I checked my bedside clock to see it was 3:50 AM. The cock-a-doodle-doo was breaking into my head. I grasped my hair in frustration, knowing that I didn’t have the madman’s parents phone numbers’ to call, or maybe scream at them. It was the exact same thing as the day before! Except…maybe…
I strained my ear.
It sounded a lot closer.
My hands, for some reason, became clammy instantly, and the urgent thumping of my own heart - the fragility of my own life - became all the more prominent.
I tiptoed to my window and peeked outside. Nothing.
I then slowly treaded to my spare bedroom, and pulled the curtains apart. Zilch. Nada. Though…
Almost as if under a spell, my head turned towards my main door. I…I could somehow feel it. Just to confirm though, I peeked out of the door-hole.
And with a slam, I collapsed in my new, dream home.
~
When I came to, I was lying on white sheets, and a bright white light hung over me.
A hospital.
I was in my own room, which I found odd. It was not like I needed it. But then a doctor walked in, followed by 3 other people, and it all made sense. Everything - blurs and sureness - melted into a perfect picture.
Sally, Jack, and their son.
He couldn’t be more than 17 really. Though he looked 37 a few hours ago. Face pressed against the glass of my peephole, mouth wide open towards it, eyes pointing in different directions as his face reddened and contorted.
I was deaf in one moment. Then came the COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO.
Of course I fainted. Who could blame me?
“Good afternoon, I’m Dr Lam. You’re in A&E right now. Are you able to tell me your full name and date of birth?
My voice answered the Doctor’s questions, but my eyes stared dazed at the youngster’s abdomen, not daring to reach his its eyes.
“Well, nothing seems to be wrong with you. You may have just been dehydrated. Did you have any headache or pain before you fainted?”
I replied in the negative.
“Luckily, your friends’ son had found you passed out, and ensured your speedy arrival to hospital, so I wouldn’t be worried about any damage.”
My eyes finally strayed, looking towards the ground. I held the nauseousness of bile down my throat. Following a brief check-up, I was allowed to leave.
And 2 people and a demon followed me out.
“Well, Leen, that should give you a lesson,”
Sally.
I turned towards the family, who stood in a 3 person arc. Only 1 managed to look away, equal parts shame and guilt. I don’t need to mention who that was.
“Don’t worry. You can look at me, I don’t bite: not now and not at dawn,” a strained voice whispered at me. “I promise, it’s only at dawn when I…when I…”
“Hush Dean, don’t work your voice that much. You’ll need to save it for later.”
I was still dizzy. That didn’t stop me from running half-hobbled to the taxi stand, where I begged and claimed to many that I would provide double payment if they were to take me to my house.
It took a while, but I managed to pack some of my clothes. There was no way in hell I was sleeping at that damned house again, not now, not ever. I called and booked at a nearby hotel in the meantime.
I was done packing necessities by the evening. Walking out of my house, I saw no sign of those three. I would have been relieved, had I not come face to face with than one thing: standing in my garden, leaning against my car. My breathing picked up instantly.
Dean
It stood with its back resting against my car. And It noticed me immediately. Seems like it was just waiting for me to notice it.
“Are you leaving?” It sounded almost sad, but I needed it to move away, or my only way out of there would be in jeopardy.
“For the night.” My answer? Almost smooth, but even I could hear the first shake in my voice.
It nodded though. “Okay.” And he moved from my car. I counted the distance. 1 metre. 2. 2.5-
It made a sudden dash at me as I - in flight response - ran frantically to the driver’s seat, locking the door. I came in half-squashed, my backpack still on my back. But I didn’t care.
Its face was pressed against the window.
“Mum is waiting for a person that will like me for me, not run away. You’re supposed to like me.” It said, matter-of-factly. It then wailed, and sunk beneath the car window.
I did not dare to sit up and see what it was doing.
I didn’t even need to though. The sound came a split-second later.
COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO
Tears spilled from my eyes. My limbs felt weak. I couldn’t even breathe. It suddenly sprang up to the window. Eyes enlarged: looking at me and everywhere at once.
“I can actually tur-COCK- in the day too, but M-DOODLE- said it would be too much for you,” wheezing, it exclaimed again before adding, “but this is ME. Do you-do you, do you like me?”
With dead limbs I weighed my foot on the pedal, and jump-started the car to speed off. My head shook left-and-right in response, stomach heaving with nausea.
Human preservation kicked me into taking proper control of the car when I saw, out of the rear view mirror, Sally. This time with a rope, which locked around the creature’s neck before she tugged, drawing it into her house. At one point we locked eyes. And what do I mean by we?
Answer: the 2 of them and me.
It was honestly a miracle that I did not get into a road traffic accident.
I spent 3 days living in the hotel after that, my job long-forgotten in the aftermath.
By day 4 I broke down and called my older sister, asking to stay at her place for a while. Her house and area seemed fine the times I’d stopped over. I guess I clearly did not seem right though, as she many-a-time asked me what was wrong. My answer? Stress. She persisted, years of living together as kids helping her figure out my lies, though she ultimately gave up after a week. She knew it was something I didn’t want to share, and that I was safe now. That was enough for her.
For me? I guess at the time I so badly wanted to tell someone. Though it couldn’t be my sister. I didn’t want to cause any trouble. Nor see if she’d even believe me, or instead rank me at the same IQ level as her two 5-year-olds.
For a few weeks, I stayed with my sister and her family, reassuring both her and myself that I was fine. Thankfully, we worked together to find a small apartment. Next to a kids school too - bonus points. I now craved safety above all else. After moving out though, I realised I needed my belongings back.
So, who picked up my stuff from that cursed residence, you ask? The moving people. I called the police from a random phone booth first to head over to that area, emphasising on seeing some suspicious looking men, whilst I got them to collect everything. I did not dare to call the police on that family though. I would prefer if the link between me and them got cut, drawn and quartered.
So now I’m here, in an apartment which thankfully hasn’t shown any sign of insanity. Inspecting my belongings, I noticed that there was one thing missing.
My gold frame, used to encase my make-shift certificate - made by yours truly after her 21-day record from the previous apartment - was gone.
I felt somewhat miffed, but then I realised something.
Something which can maybe bring the light out in this whole situation.
I counted carefully. I broke my record.
With a grand stay of 2 days. Now that - that I don’t think I’d ever be able to beat.