Any and all perspectives help more than you know. I don’t have anybody to really talk about this with so any and all guidance or help is appreciated. It’s a lot to read, I might yap but it isn’t without reason lmao.
CONTEXT IS IMPORTANT for the sake of understanding. I’m 19 years old and have just finished my spring semester of college. I went to a big college first out of town, my main financial aid fucked me over so I had to switch at semester to my home state’s university. Anyway, this year was kind of tough for me lost a couple family members & my boyfriend had it rough, lost his best friend and dad within a few months of each other. Then we find out I’m pregnant. I wasn’t sure what I really wanted to do but didn’t get to make a choice, I miscarried sometime later. Shit was hard so I went back to hometown & finished semester online while staying with my boyfriend until I needed to move my stuff out of dorm.
My boyfriend is 19 and we’ve been together a year & a half, but known each other since middle school. We dated in 8 grade until he had to move out of state, he moved back & we started hanging out again. My circle is small & I don’t really make/have any friends but he’s my best friend. Even if we wouldn’t have chose to date after he came back to town, ik we would’ve been good friends. My family liked him or seemed to at least, especially my mom.
It’s well known in my family that my mom and I just don’t get along. She kept me quite literally locked away as the Cinderella child until I left. I could only do things if she wasn’t in a bad mood/something didn’t need cleaned/ a child didn’t need to be picked up/dropped off. My friends in high school never invited me ANYWHERE lmao but after a while I figured out it’s easier to just deal w it rather than push back harder. I didn’t know how to use a crosswalk until I was 14 lmao I was so sheltered sorry ANYWAYS, I turned 18 and it was like I had a brand new mother until her fear of me leaving wore off.
Long story short, the summer before I left for college (last summer) I didn’t have anywhere else to go so I moved in with boyfriend. My mom did the absolute most, almost got me fired from my job & ambulance ended up being called from how much of a tantrum she threw. It was so ridiculous that she refused to tell anybody what happened when people asked because she said it’s too embarrassing for her.
Just like that, she flipped and was saying some terrible stuff about my boyfriend. He had a rough upbringing which she knows some stuff about. She took that and twisted the narrative to make him seem like some sort of charity case that took advantage of her generous & good graces. She calls him the hungry kid who hung out w her daughter. He’s no longer allowed at her house lmao just out of spite. He never said a word to her or about her when she had the worst to say about him, he never was disrespectful or like showed up to the house either idrk what that was for. Even when I moved out & she drained my entire savings I had worked for since I was 15, he never said anything bad about her just that i was going to be okay and he’s gonna help me figure it out. Not only that but she shunned me for a long long time, refused to talk & look at me after I moved out which made me feel incredibly guilty & like I had to compensate so I’d stress out & make sure to see her and my siblings every single day. My little brother is 5 and doesn’t really understand but my mom didn’t try to explain or kid proof it, just let him scream and cry and claw at my legs whenever I’d leave the house to go home.
If you’re still reading thank you sm.
Fast forward to today, I went to college finished my semester and am back in my hometown. Over breaks in college I’ve stayed at my moms cause she expected me to and her & I’s relationship has gotten so much better with distance. Between her and boyfriend, they were my biggest support especially with the miscarriage. But the only conversation they’ve had is when him and I went to talk to my mom in person when I found out I was pregnant. Not sure where she stands with him idrc but I’m sure she probably hates him more since we did technically make her worst fear as a mother come true.
Im living with her again mainly cause I don’t want to be isolated again and i physically cant deal with the debilitating anxiety and guilt every single day, I wanted to try to focus my energy on healing & resting before I start classes here. Boyfriend’s family situation is getting v challenging for him, so he wants to get a place regardless. I really just want my own space where I’m not feeling constantly overstimulated and I miss living with him a lot if honestly. We make the best team & it’s so easy with him. I catch myself getting so excited looking at furniture even from the thrift or cooking meals w him or decorating. I miss him making breakfast for me before I wake up and folding laundry together and grocery shopping. He’s paying 6 months rent in advance so I won’t have to worry about getting enough hours & can enjoy summer and actually rest, both of us independently have a pretty thick cushion to fall back on too just in case. So finances aren’t a problem I think?
My mom isn’t too keen on the idea I think she just doesn’t want me to make the same mistakes she made, which I understand because I was also there when she was left with half of every pair of shoes she owned, I mean he took literally half of everything. Even in the case that we do break up and then I’m stuck with an apartment with my ex and have completely fucked myself over, at least I was able to make my own mistake for the first time and learned from it? I don’t know what to tell my mom or how the conversation should go. I don’t wanna be shunned again but then again I’ve never once been able to just do something and justify it with “it’s my life”. Idk, advice/thoughts/bullshit/opinions please please help. Have a blessed day, thank you. I appreciate your time & input more than you know, I don’t have anybody to bounce ideas around with.

It wasn’t always bad. The first 4 years were pretty good. The occasional fight or spat, then we had our first kid and there was this weird subtle shift. Barely noticeable, but definitely there. I was dealing with being a new mom, fell into a pretty bad postpartum anxiety, to the point I had to quit my job because it had gotten so bad. He started coming home from work then sitting in the garage for hours or leaving the house at odd times. It took me 2 years to figure out that what he was doing in the garage was smoking meth. Leaving to buy meth and to meet up with other people because according to him I wasn’t satisfying him. But how was I to know that you can’t actually satisfy a meth addict, something about the high. I don’t know I’ve never done it.
Anyway, I forgave him and tried to help him with his addiction. Tried everything I could think of short of having him committed to a rehab facility involuntarily… which I don’t think I can do without a court order. I lasted 8 months doing this before I couldn’t do it anymore, but then I found out I was pregnant, weirdly I was on birth control…fun. I feel like I need to add here that although our second baby was a bit of a surprise she was very much a wanted baby… a baby I had planned to try for 4 months after I actually got pregnant and only if things had calmed down. Oh and I had also started working again 6 months prior.
Well things got worse, so much worse. 7 months into my pregnancy I found out that he had been having an affair with some girl 12 years his junior who he wanted to move into my house with our children and be in a relationship with this person and I was supposed to just accept it. On top of that I also figured out he was sleeping with multiple other people…While in a panic, I had a moment of clarity and I ran to my OB and had them run every possible STD test out there. And positive it came back. Thankfully it was bacterial, caught in time and my doctor was able to treat it and get rid of it with a round of antibiotics.
That was it for me. I ended it. 7 months pregnant with a toddler and single… super excited. I wish I could say things got better after that. But, as so often happens, things got worse. Now I was being threatened to be beat up by his girlfriend. I was so deeply depressed I was hardly eating anything. When the baby came (during the beginning of Covid lockdown, by the way), he slept while I labored, was visibly high while I gave birth and stayed exactly 1 hour after she was born and then took off and didn’t come back until it was time for us to go home. And only then he only came back because he had my car with the car seat and I begged him to come get us after he suggested my sister pick us up.
And yet, I was so embarrassed about the whole situation blaming myself entirely for all of it. After all I chose him. No one knew what was happening. No one knew of the cheating, the meth, that sweet little letter he wrote me to convince me to bring his girlfriend to live with us. His threats of suicide and self harm. Nothing. And then one night 2 years later I decided I needed to start dating and so I did… bad idea… it lasted 2 months before he hacked into my phone. My email, my everything and was watching my every move. I figured it out one night when my phone stopped working and I went to my provider to find out what was going on. They let me know someone had cloned my sim and had access to all my personal accounts… they showed me the number that had my sim… it was his phone… his excuse when I confronted him? “I had to know where my children were” mind you I had never lied to him or kept the kids from him, matter of fact I went out of my way to tell him where we were and how long we’d be. I moved out that night. I went to the house grabbed all essentials for the kids and myself and anything else I could possibly fit in my small SUV asked my parents if I could stay with them and never looked back.
Three months later I found a tracking device in my car. I now have a permanent restraining order against the guy and he’s worked himself out of having both physical and legal custody of the kids.
All that to say that in the 4 years since I left him, I’ve tried to date several times… and… I can’t seem to stay with it. I’m afraid of everything. I’m afraid of being hurt again. I’m afraid of someone hurting my children, not that they ever even meet them. I’m afraid of ending in the same place I am now. I’m afraid of putting that much effort into someone again. I don’t know how to make the fear disappear. I don’t know how to let anyone in again. I’ve tried therapy, I’ve tried just jumping into it and nothing. I end up running for the hills.
I’m not saying I need to be in a relationship, but it would be nice to not feel so afraid of it. So stuck in this bad place that I can’t open up to the even the possibility of it.

Reasoning and proof to back up this claim, as I'm sure everyone with an IQ 100 or greater is by now well aware Donald Trump & co have THE cult of personality among resentment of poorly to not well educated voters of all stripes, but particularly a majority white voters in the US.
However, I would at this point very much argue that Joe Biden and Kamala Harris also have one to a lesser extent, it turns out...and here's how.
President Biden and VP Harris had about 40% of white voter support in the 2020 election- they still have about that much now 4 years later in 2024 believe it or not, but after a disastrous by any objective metric 4 year term, and have not lost or gained any support in this time with said bloc-- it is overwhelmingly concentrated among well educated voters in the Caucasian bloc, especially women, as trivia.
References: Nate Cohn, NYT Polls-- https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/05/upshot/polls-biden-trump-2024.html
"The survey finds that Mr. Biden enters his campaign as a badly weakened candidate, one running without the strengths on personal likability, temperament and character that were essential to his narrow victories in all six of these states in 2020. Long-festering vulnerabilities on his age, economic stewardship, and appeal to young, Black and Hispanic voters have grown severe enough to imperil his re-election chances. On question after question, the public’s view of the president has plummeted over the course of his time in office. The deterioration in Mr. Biden’s standing is broad, spanning virtually every demographic group, yet it yields an especially deep blow to his electoral support among young, Black and Hispanic voters, with Mr. Trump obtaining previously unimaginable levels of support with them."

Biden Has Particularly Lost Favor With Young, Nonwhite Voters

Whom they say they voted for in 2020	Whom they support now
Nonwhite, under 45	Biden +39 68-29
Nonwhite, over 45	Biden +47 73-26
White, under 45	Biden +5 50-45
White, over 45	Trump +16 57-41

(Based on New York Times/Siena College polls of 3,662 registered voters conducted Oct. 22 to Nov. 3 in six battleground states. The 2020 vote is based on how respondents say they voted in 2020, though margins are similar to The Times's estimates of the results. Numbers are rounded.)
"In contrast, Mr. Biden has retained the entirety of his support among older white voters, helping him stay relatively competitive in the older and predominantly white Northern battleground states of Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania, even as Mr. Trump builds a more comfortable lead in the more diverse Sun Belt states. There’s no reason to assume that next November’s final election tallies will match the results of these surveys. But if they did, it could represent an epochal shift in American politics, one with the potential to reverberate for decades as young and nonwhite voters make up a growing share of the electorate. Many familiar patterns in American politics would be blurred. Racial and generational polarization would fade. It would be the culmination of a decade-long realignment of the electorate along the lines of Mr. Trump’s conservative populism, all while dashing Democratic hopes of assembling a progressive majority around a new generation of young and nonwhite voters."
Second source: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/05/upshot/biden-trump-black-hispanic-voters.html
Nonwhite voters
White voters at the bottom
"Mr. Biden’s tepid support among these voters appears to be mostly responsible for the close race in early national surveys, which show Mr. Biden and Mr. Trump all but tied among registered voters even as Mr. Biden runs as well among white voters as he did four years ago."
Third source: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2024-05-15/biden-risks-losing-significant-share-of-black-vote-king-says**
"**President Joe Biden risks losing a significant share of Black votes in his rematch with Donald Trump unless his campaign improves his outreach strategy, said the daughter of slain civil-rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. 'There are people in the Black community who are feeling like not a lot has changed,' Bernice King said Wednesday in a Bloomberg TV interview."
Fourth source: Axios, Polls-- https://www.axios.com/2023/11/06/biden-black-hispanic-voters-losing-polls
Overall point/conclusion: Joe and Kamala haven't moved with being favored by 40% of white voters and it's chiefly coming from them having >50% approval among well educated white women with postgraduate or higher degrees, despite falling consistently with their own core base in margins in Black, Hispanic, Asian, and young white voters consistently like with the country from 2020 to 2024. This all essentially indicates a cult of personality is concentrated to me chiefly around the former demographic, because Biden's standing has deteriorated among everyone but this bloc by this point, and for several reasons imo (I'll elaborate on that in another reply to those curious).

Hey all,
Would appreciate a once over of my documents if possible please! I think we have a pretty straightforward case, but anxiety is getting the better of me!
General Docs - Cover letter written from Applicant and Sponsor - BRP Applicant - Passport Applicant (all pages scanned)
English Requirement - Uni Degree Applicant
Partner Docs - Passport Sponsor (all pages scanned) - Marriage certificate (it's in English)
Other - Declarations (to be printed off and signed)
Accommodation - All council tax letters that we've received in the past 2 years - Mortgage statements from Halifax - Land registry showing house in our name
Correspondence over last 2 years - May 2022 - Halifax Mortgage Statement (Joint Names - Posted Mail) - Sept 2022 - Nationwide Account Statement (Joint Names - PDF from Online) - Nov 2022 - Thames Water Bill (Sponsor's Name - PDF from Online) - Feb 2023 - Virgin Media Bill (Applicant's Name - PDF from Online) - March 2023 - Council Tax Bill (Joint Names - PDF from Online) - May 2023 - Halifax Mortgage Statement (Joint Names - Posted Mail) - Sept 2023 - Joint Account Statement (Joint Names - Posted Mail) - Nov 2023 - Thames Water Bill (Sponsor's Name - Posted Mail) - Jan 2024 - Letter from NHS (Applicant's Name - Posted Mail) - Mar 2024 - Council Tax (Joint - Posted Mail) - April 2024 - Joint Account Statement (Joint Names - PDF from Online)
Finances (Covered by Applicant) - 6 month of bank statements from Applicant's Monzo (Taken from Online Banking) - Letter from applicant's employer - Last P60 statement from 2023-2024 - 6 months of payslips
Questions... Declarations - Is there anything to be aware of here if financial requirement is covered by the applicant?
Mortgage - Are the statements sufficient?
Accommodation- We have lived in the flat we own for the past 2 years years, prior to that we were living with a friend, do I need to provide proof of that anywhere? Or not necessary as its more than 2 years ago?
Correspondence - Any gaps to fill?
Thank you in advance!!

It wasn’t always bad. The first 4 years were pretty good. The occasional fight or spat, then we had our first kid and there was this weird subtle shift. Barely noticeable, but definitely there. I was dealing with being a new mom, fell into a pretty bad postpartum anxiety, to the point I had to quit my job because it had gotten so bad. He started coming home from work then sitting in the garage for hours or leaving the house at odd times. It took me 2 years to figure out that what he was doing in the garage was smoking meth. Leaving to buy meth and to meet up with other people because according to him I wasn’t satisfying him. But how was I to know that you can’t actually satisfy a meth addict, something about the high. I don’t know I’ve never done it.
Anyway, I forgave him and tried to help him with his addiction. Tried everything I could think of short of having him committed to a rehab facility involuntarily… which I don’t think I can do without a court order. I lasted 8 months doing this before I couldn’t do it anymore, but then I found out I was pregnant, weirdly I was on birth control…fun. I feel like I need to add here that although our second baby was a bit of a surprise she was very much a wanted baby… a baby I had planned to try for 4 months after I actually got pregnant and only if things had calmed down. Oh and I had also started working again 6 months prior.
Well things got worse, so much worse. 7 months into my pregnancy I found out that he had been having an affair with some girl 12 years his junior who he wanted to move into my house with our children and be in a relationship with this person and I was supposed to just accept it. On top of that I also figured out he was sleeping with multiple other people…While in a panic, I had a moment of clarity and I ran to my OB and had them run every possible STD test out there. And positive it came back. Thankfully it was bacterial, caught in time and my doctor was able to treat it and get rid of it with a round of antibiotics.
That was it for me. I ended it. 7 months pregnant with a toddler and single… super excited. I wish I could say things got better after that. But, as so often happens, things got worse. Now I was being threatened to be beat up by his girlfriend. I was so deeply depressed I was hardly eating anything. When the baby came (during the beginning of Covid lockdown, by the way), he slept while I labored, was visibly high while I gave birth and stayed exactly 1 hour after she was born and then took off and didn’t come back until it was time for us to go home. And only then he only came back because he had my car with the car seat and I begged him to come get us after he suggested my sister pick us up.
And yet, I was so embarrassed about the whole situation blaming myself entirely for all of it. After all I chose him. No one knew what was happening. No one knew of the cheating, the meth, that sweet little letter he wrote me to convince me to bring his girlfriend to live with us. His threats of suicide and self harm. Nothing. And then one night 2 years later I decided I needed to start dating and so I did… bad idea… it lasted 2 months before he hacked into my phone. My email, my everything and was watching my every move. I figured it out one night when my phone stopped working and I went to my provider to find out what was going on. They let me know someone had cloned my sim and had access to all my personal accounts… they showed me the number that had my sim… it was his phone… his excuse when I confronted him? “I had to know where my children were” mind you I had never lied to him or kept the kids from him, matter of fact I went out of my way to tell him where we were and how long we’d be. I moved out that night. I went to the house grabbed all essentials for the kids and myself and anything else I could possibly fit in my small SUV asked my parents if I could stay with them and never looked back.
Three months later I found a tracking device in my car. I now have a permanent restraining order against the guy and he’s worked himself out of having both physical and legal custody of the kids.
All that to say that in the 4 years since I left him, I’ve tried to date several times… and… I can’t seem to stay with it. I’m afraid of everything. I’m afraid of being hurt again. I’m afraid of someone hurting my children, not that they ever even meet them. I’m afraid of ending in the same place I am now. I’m afraid of putting that much effort into someone again. I don’t know how to make the fear disappear. I don’t know how to let anyone in again. I’ve tried therapy, I’ve tried just jumping into it and nothing. I end up running for the hills.
I’m not saying I need to be in a relationship, but it would be nice to not feel so afraid of it. So stuck in this bad place that I can’t open up to the even the possibility of it.

After growing up experiencing every type of abuse you can imagine, having an irreversible and supposedly incurable brain disease, having PTSD and severe trauma from all of that and having abusive exes who continued to show me that I mean nothing to this world I am so ready. It’s been about 6 months of me contemplating this more heavily. I had a Sewerside pact with my cousin that if we were still depressed at 35 we would take our lives and not judge each other for it. The numbness has taken everything over. No matter what I do I’m doing something wrong. I have no money and have been in survival mode my entire life. I am continuously shown by this world how little I truly matter and I’m finally ready to rid this world of the burden that I am. I’ve written my letters, I have no attachments to anyone, and the people who are in my life will be better off without me. There is no other option at this point. Im not going to wait 50 more years to kill my self because “it gets better” that’s the biggest load of shit. 30 years in and no it hasnt ducking gotten m better. I’ve stayed alive for too long for the sake of others’ feelings. Well what about mine? What about my pain and grief and sadness, just because they don’t want to see me die I have to live in a world that I’m not meant for? I’m so fucking done.

(continuation of part 1)

III. Searching for Aerith Beyond FFVII

There were absolutely no answers in *Remake* or OG (at this point in my research, *Rebirth* wasn’t released yet), no matter how much I looked; nothing at all hinted at how Cloud could’ve obtained the memories of OG that emerge in *Remake* as MOTFs. I knew I had to look elsewhere to search for more clues, so I decided to check every piece of media ever released by SE with a mention of Cloud or Aerith in it, digging for hints in the compilation and beyond.
And boy, did I find them.
III. a) Core Worlds and Suspension Worlds
There are a couple of general *FF* rules that we need to establish before going forward.
It’s important to note that there are multiple realms in which the FF stories take place, each with a different name, history and society. This ensures that all FF stories occur separately, never intercepting or interacting— though they do have creatures like moogles and chocobos in common, as well as concepts like airships, gil, magic and some form of crystal. For simplicity, I will refer to these separate worlds in which the numbered FF games (FFI, FFII, FFIII, etc) occur as “core worlds”.
Characters from different core worlds may appear together in non-numbered *FF* games, the events of which have no impact on the core world at all: it seems that sometime after a *FF* character has reached the end of their core world’s plot-line, they may somehow be summoned to far-removed realms where they will face new adventures. I call these far-removed realms “suspension worlds”. One example of a *FF* game that takes place in a suspension world is *Dissidia Final Fantasy*, wherein characters from multiple core worlds unite to accomplish a mission as a team.
III. b) Final Fantasy Tactics
First on our list of non-compilation SE games to explore is 1997’s *Final Fantasy Tactics* (*FFT*), a game whose plot takes place in the suspension world of Ivalice. Let’s plot out the relevant events, and then analyze!
III. b) i. Fact-Finding
The main character of *FFT*, Ramza, encounters a brunette flower peddler with Aerith’s iconic, gravity-defying bangs:
\"Aeris\" in FFT's Ivalice
If you choose to buy a flower from her, she express her relief: apparently, business isn’t going well because no one is interested in flowers. The girl wistfully dreams aloud:

“When is my knight in shining armor going to take me away from here...?”

Later, Ramza and his companions encounter a mysterious machine that can summon people from across universes. The machine is activated, and a rather rude young man with spiky blonde hair appears. Cloud claims he used to be in SOLDIER, and says the last thing he remembers is “getting stuck in the current”. He looks to be disoriented and lost, and suffers from piercing headaches. Mere moments after being summoned to Ivalice, Cloud rambles:

“What’s this? My fingers are tingling… My eyes… they’re burning… Stop… stop it [Se]phiroth…”

He dashes out of the room, but not without announcing:

“I must go… must go to that place…”

Outside, Cloud encounters the brunette flower girl Ramza met earlier. She offers Cloud a flower, but he only stares at her wordlessly:

“Flower girl: Buy a flower? Only 1 gil.
Cloud: …
Flower girl: Something wrong? Do I resemble someone?”
Cloud: No… it’s nothing.”

As soon as Cloud leaves, a gang of ruffians surround the flower girl and start harassing her, demanding payment that’s apparently overdue. One of them finally calls her by her name: “Aeris”. He grabs her, insinuating that he might sexually assault her in lieu of payment. Aeris is not strong enough to push him away. That’s when Cloud returns:

“Cloud: Get your hand off her!
Thug: What did you say!?
Cloud: Didn't you hear me? Get your dirty hand off her!
[…]
Cloud, to Aeris: Go… now.”

Aeris heeds Cloud’s advice, fleeing the scene before a fight between Cloud and the thug can break out. After Cloud scares the ruffians off with the help of Ramza and his companions, he speaks once more:

“I lost… something very important… Ever since, I’ve been lost […]. What should I do? What about this pain [?] Must go… to the Promised Land.”

III. b) ii. Fact Analysis
There’s a lot to unpack here, all of which you probably clocked in your head upon reading, but let’s put it down in writing.
While *FFT* Cloud’s memory is far from perfect, the Aeris he encounters in Ivalice doesn’t recognize him at all. *FFVII Ultimania Omega* addresses this question without answering it:

“[The flower seller’s] name is Aeris, and she has the same appearance and tone of voice as the Aeris of FFVII. However, when she comes across Cloud, she does not recognize him. Could she really be the same Aerith who appears in FFVII but with memory loss, or is she a completely different character?” (“#4 Proof of Omega”, “FFVII in Other Games”, “Final Fantasy Tactics”, page 560).

Regardless of her unknown identity and inability to recognize Cloud, FFT Aeris’ fantasy of a “knight in shining armor” is quite reminiscent of the flower girl/bodyguard dynamic we’ve come to know and love. Cloud’s armor doesn’t shine, but in my opinion, if you’re looking for the dystopian, corporatocratic equivalent of a knight, you can’t get much closer than a supposed-former-SOLDIER-turned-bodyguard. Additionally, despite his rude and cold attitude toward Ramza’s gang, the urgency with which Cloud swoops in to save the flower girl from the ruffians betrays a softer, warmer side to him: the flower girl/bodyguard dynamic strikes again!
*FFT* Cloud’s dialogue borrows two lines from the speech OG Cloud makes as Aerith lies dead in his arms (disk 1, chapter 28): “My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning!” and “What are we supposed to do? What about my pain?” You might’ve noticed that this glimpse of grief Cloud experiences in *FFT* bears a resemblance to the fourth MOTF 4 experienced by *Remake* Cloud (see section “II. a)”). Could it be that *FFT* Cloud and *Remake* Cloud have something in common?
Shortly after being summoned to Ivalice, *FFT* Cloud declares that he must go to “that place”, a mysterious line that is later elucidated when he tells Ramza that he must go to the Promised Land and find the “very important” thing he’s lost. The Promised Land is the Cetra culture’s afterlife, meaning *FFT* Cloud is looking for someone who’s died, someone “very important” to him. OG suggests this is none other than Aerith:

“Cait Sith, reading Cloud’s fortune: You will find [what] you pursue. However, you will lose the most precious thing” (disk 1, chapter 16, English translation by Kotaku’s “Let’s Mosey: A Slow Translation of Final Fantasy Seven: Part Eight” by Tim Rogers, 9:42-9:52).
“Cloud, after seeing Aerith’s hand reach for him through the Lifestream: … I think I'm beginning to understand.
Tifa: What?
Cloud: An answer from the Planet… the Promised Land... I think I can meet her... there” (disk 3, chapter 3).

Finally, let’s try to understand where on the OG timeline Cloud was summoned to this suspension world from and what he remembers. His comment about getting stuck in a current has to be about the Lifestream; apparently, on top of its atemporal nature, it can act as a conduit to other worlds. One only enters the Lifestream if they’ve somehow fallen into the core of the planet or once they’ve passed away and returned to the planet. Both scenarios merit consideration.
On the one hand, it’s possible that Cloud was summoned to Ivalice after he and Tifa fall into the core of the planet: this point in the FFVII OG timeline occurs after Aerith’s death and shortly before Cloud finds out he was never SOLDIER, which matches the gaps in FFT Cloud’s memory quite well. However, this scenario does not account for the vagueness with which FFT Cloud remembers Aerith and her death. Most importantly, Cloud’s realization that he can find Aerith in the Promised Land occurs much later in the game (FFVII OG, disk 3, chapter 3) than when he falls into the Lifestream with Tifa (FFVII OG, disk 2, chapter 8).
On the other hand, FFT Cloud’s vague yet persistent memories of Aerith suggest that he’s been summoned to Ivalice after his eventual death post-OG, but also that he’s lost quite a large portion of his memories. His incomplete memory loss is likely the result of Cloud’s individuality’s erosion by the Lifestream after death, which we discussed in section “II. a) ii.”. We can therefore surmise that by the time he is summoned to Ivalice from the Lifestream, Cloud has been dead for long enough that the Lifestream eroded a large portion of the memories of his lifetime. This post-death scenario is likelier than the first. The memory of Cloud’s realization that he was never SOLDIER must be gone, which explains why he claims otherwise upon being summoned to Ivalice. Contrastingly, vestiges of Cloud’s OG memories of Aerith cling to his soul, even after others have been wiped clean. Could this be a consequence of their soulmate bond? Could the strength of Cloud’s love and grief for Aerith have made his memories of her stronger and more difficult for the Lifestream to erode? Could it be both?
One thing is clear: Aerith is of fundamental importance to Cloud, even when he can’t quite remember her. In fact, the only other character he remembers and/or mentions in *FTT* is Sephiroth. It does make sense that the memories of those who have marked one’s soul forevermore would be the most difficult for the Lifestream to erode.
III. c) Dissidia Final Fantasy
The next stop on our travels through suspension worlds is 2008’s Dissidia Final Fantasy! Now strap in, because here’s where things get really serious.
III. c) i. Fact Finding
In the suspension world of *Dissidia Final Fantasy* (*DFF*), the goddess of harmony Cosmos and the god of discord Chaos are engaged in a never-ending cycle of conflict. Both deities need warriors to fight on their behalf, so they recruit core world characters into their respective teams by summoning them to *DFF*. Some of these summoned characters are *FFIV*’s Cecil, *FFVI*’s Terra, *FFVII*’s Sephiroth, *FFX*’s Tidus, and of course, *FFVII*’s Cloud. The warriors find themselves in the suspension world of *DFF* with no memories of their core worlds’ plotlines. However, as the *DFF* adventure progresses, they are able to recover pieces of their memories here and there. It isn’t clear how much they come to remember. Ultimately, the warriors hope to return home to their core worlds by fighting in this war and seeing to its end.
Cloud is summoned to *DFF* as a warrior on the side of Chaos, who seeks to destroy all existence. Sephiroth is also on Chaos’ side, meaning the two are teammates despite being enemies in their core world of *FFVII*. It just so happens that Tifa is a summoned warrior in *DFF* too, though she’s fighting on Cosmos’ side. Intrigued by her vague familiarity, Sephiroth hypothesizes that killing Tifa will bring back his memories of OG’s plot line: before long, the masamune wielder finds Tifa alone and corners her into a one-on-one fight. Thankfully, Cloud swoops in and saves her before Sephiroth can do any harm. Tifa is thankful for Cloud’s help, though confused that Cloud would elect to assist her and turn against a fellow warrior of Chaos; she doesn’t remember what Sephiroth and Cloud mean to each other in OG. In fact, Tifa doesn’t even remember Cloud’s name or that they share a core world, though Cloud feels somewhat familiar to her. For his part, Cloud at least remembers that Tifa is someone he cares about from his core world. As Tifa thanks Cloud for saving her from Sephiroth, something she says elicits an odd reaction from the warrior of Chaos:

“Tifa: The way you showed up and fought that guy off. It was a pretty cool thing to watch. You were like a hero, charging in to save the girl.
Cloud gasps at her words. She doesn’t notice” (Dissidia 012: Treachery of the Gods, report 5: “Unexpected Fulfillment 2”).

On another note, Cloud knows he will have to fight Tifa once the Cosmos-Chaos conflict comes to a head, as they are on opposing teams. He thinks to himself:

“Once [her] memories return, [she]’ll lose the will to fight just like I have. So... Before that can happen, I have to act...” (Dissidia 012: Treachery of the Gods, report 5: “Unexpected Fulfillment 2”).

In order to end the cycle of the conflict and to avoid fighting Tifa, Cloud decides to try and defeat Chaos himself. Predictably, Cloud is no match for the deity. As he dies, Cloud pleads the following to the goddess Cosmos:

“Cosmos, goddess of harmony. If you can hear me, listen to my plea. I beg you. Save her. Save my friend… Tifa.”

Cosmos hears him and responds immediately:

“Cosmos: An end to this conflict, and a life spared? This is your heart's desire? If your will remains unchanged, I shall bring you here when the battle draws to a close. Cloud. My chosen" (Dissidia 0.13: Treachery of the Gods, report 7: “Unexpected Fulfillment 3”).

Cloud’s wish is granted by Cosmos: the first phase of the conflict ends without Tifa getting hurt, and she is sent away from the suspension world of DFF before the second phase begins. Cloud is saved from death, and Cosmos enlists him into her team of warriors for phase two: this time, Cloud is fighting on the good side.
Now we enter phase two of the war. Cosmos tells her team of ten core world warriors that in order to save the world from Chaos’ destruction, they must collect what she describes as crystals containing the power to persist through darkness. I call these the “*DFF* crystals”. There are ten *DFF* crystals in total: one for every warrior on Cosmos’ group to find. To obtain their crystal, each hero must overcome a trial that will confront them with whatever personal struggle they faced in their core world; if they prove themselves worthy, their *DFF* crystal will appear to them. On one hand, some warriors’ *DFF* crystals simply take the form the crystals found in their core world. For example, Onion Knight’s *DFF* crystal looks to be nothing more than one of *FFIII*’s elemental crystals, which hold little to no personal significance to him. On the other hand, some warriors’ *DFF* crystals symbolize something more personal to their respective warriors. For instance, Cecil’s *DFF* crystal looks to be one of *FFIV*’s dark crystals, which specifically represent the dichotomy of light and darkness he struggles with in his core world’s plot-line. Cosmos describes the quest for the *DFF* crystals as follows:

“Cosmos: The crystals embody the strength to face despair. With ten gathered, there is hope yet to save the world. The path to your crystal will be perilous... and different for each and every one of you. But you must believe in and follow your own path. Even if you know not where that path leads" (Dissidia 013: Light to All, prologue: “A Final Hope”).

From this exposition, simply keep in mind that: Cloud must find his crystal by overcoming a personal trial, and his crystal may have the appearance of an object in OG that’s important to him.
Once the team is debriefed on their mission, Cloud remains reticent to fight; he doesn’t much like the mysterious nature of this conflict. Not knowing exactly what they’re all fighting for is clearly bothersome to the swordsman, and the idea of thoughtlessly engaging in battles leaves a bad taste in his mouth. Fellow warrior Firion understands that without a reason to fight, Cloud’s heart just isn’t in it. He imparts upon Cloud that he must have a dream he’s fighting to protect, something he wants to see come true, to motivate him to stop Chaos from destroying all existence. Unfortunately, Cloud doesn’t have a dream to preserve, or can’t find one for himself:

“Cloud: I've looked, but I'm still empty-handed. And without a dream, what do you suppose I should do? […] Maybe what I'm looking for... isn't here” (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 1: “Beyond Doubt”, “Gateway of Good and Evil”).

Another fellow warrior, Cecil, expresses worry for Cloud, whose response evokes the main theme of FFVII OG:

“Cecil: Everyone's worried, Cloud. But... Do you shoulder a larger concern?
Cloud: Concern... Maybe a sense of loss" (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 1: “Beyond Doubt”, “Beyond the Continent”).

Whatever Cloud is looking for “isn’t [there]”, and he feels “a sense of loss”: Cloud’s motivating dream has been lost to him. This is later reasserted in a conversation with Terra, another warrior of Cosmos:

“Terra: And you, Cloud... What's your dream?
Cloud: I've lost mine" (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 3: “The Chosen Battle”, “Gateway of True Intent”).

Later, Cloud encounters and fights Sephiroth, who is still a part of Chaos’ team. Sephiroth is defeated, but not before he’s taunted Cloud with his habitual puppet talk. However, Cloud remains strong and refutes Sephiroth’s manipulation, asserting that only he can determine his own path. This must’ve been Cloud’s personal trial, because his crystal appears at that very moment: it is a small, light green orb that looks like materia from his core world. Having pocketed his crystal, Cloud decides he must find his own reason to fight. Interestingly, his search is depicted as intertwined with Fate:

“Cloud: Even if I have my doubts... I have to find my own answer […] Until then, I'll keep fighting.
Narration: The warrior has vowed to keep fighting— and keep fighting he will […]. Etched in destiny, his quest for answers continues on” (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 1: “Beyond Doubt”, “Gulg Gateway”).

Later, the nemeses meet again in a segment called “Recurring Tragedy”. Their interactions here are particularly interesting. Sephiroth speaks of making Cloud suffer through despair and pain as though referencing their history together: 

"Sephiroth: This disease called hope is eating you alive. The world of suffering was born out of such half-baked ideals.
Cloud: If that's the case, I have to endure the suffering. There's no moving on if I run from it.
Sephiroth: If that is what you wish for, you shall drown in the pain. I'll lead you to true despair. [My] shadow is burned into your heart. We'll meet again, Cloud. I'll keep coming back— as long as you are who you are."
Sephiroth disappears. Cloud looks out into the distance before the scene ends.
“Cloud: No thanks. The one I really want to meet is…” (Dissidia 013: Light to All, epilogue: “Conclusion of a Cycle”, “Recurring Tragedy”).

This final line suggests Cloud has finally found a reason to fight: he wants to meet someone unspecified.
Finally, after the war has ended, we arrive at the final cutscene of *DFF*. I will let you read the full script, with notes added by me **in bold** behind the spoiler censors. Please do not read my notes if you do not wish to encounter spoilers for *FFI*, *FFII, FFIII, FFIV, FFV, FFVI, FFVIII, FFIX or FFX*:

“[The] heroes are all standing together in a grassy field with a forest behind them. Birds are chirping, the sun is shining brightly, and the wind is blowing gently. The heroes look around them in awe. They're all holding their crystals.
WoL: The battle has come to an end...
Tidus notices that his crystal has begun to emanate a blue glow.>! His crystal is a movie sphere from his core world of FFX**: a capsule containing sounds and images that people record for later viewing. Tidus’ crystal likely represents the specific movie sphere recorded by his love interest Yuna, which revealed that she’d loved him from the beginning**.!<
Tidus: Gotta go, huh...
The blue glow transfers to him as well. He turns to look at the others
[…] Tidus grins at the others, then turns and runs toward a nearby lake. He leaps into it in a manner reminiscent of [the events] of FFX. He vanishes as he descends toward the lake.
Zidane: We're not vanishing. We're returning—
Zidane is sitting on a tree limb as he says this. His crystal begins to glow gold, as does he. His crystal is shaped like a highly important ‘progenitor of all life’ crystal from his core world of FFIX**.**
Zidane: — to where we're supposed to be.
Zidane spins around the tree limb with the use of his tail and launches toward the sun. He's lost to view.
A white feather then drifts down from that direction and Squall catches it. The feather is reminiscent of his love Rinoa Heartilly, whose character symbol is a white feather. In fact, Squall’s crystal looks like a mix of his revolver gunblade from FFVIII and Rinoa’s feather motif. [Squall glows blue.]
Squall: Perhaps we can go on a mission together again.
Squall vanishes.
Cloud is then visible, standing in [a] flower field. The flowers are white and yellow. Cloud has his crystal, a light green materia from his core world of FFVII**, in hand.**
Cloud: [(Chuckles shortly, like a scoff)] Not interested.
Cloud walks off into the flower field, gaining a green glow. He vanishes.
A snowflake then falls into Terra's right hand as her crystal begins to glow pink. The flames drawn on her crystal represent her power, which is connected to the element of fire: her character arc in FFVI**.**
Terra: I think I've learned how to keep going. Thank you— and take care.
Terra glows pink and then vanishes. Bartz throws a stick. He's glowing pink as well.
Bartz: When you're having the most fun, that's when time always flies. His crystal is the Adamantite from his core world of FFV**.**
Bartz vanishes.
Cecil: It's mine to pass on—
A moon appears behind Cecil and goes through its phases as he begins to glow blue. His crystal has shadowed and illuminated parts, representing the duality of his character, which is central to his personal arc in his core world of FFIV**. It also represents his brother Golbez, who has chosen the darkness. Cecil considers his familial bond with Golbez his guiding light and hopes to be with him someday**.
Cecil: — this strength I've gained from everyone.
Cecil vanishes.
Onion Knight hugs his crystal and looks up toward the sky. His crystal is shaped like those found in his core world of FFIII.
Onion Knight: Everyone... thank you!
OK briefly glows blue and then vanishes.
There are wild roses at Firion's feet. He and WoL are looking toward the sky. WoL suddenly begins walking away while Firion looks down and sees the roses.
Firion: This isn't the end. Another dream is waiting to begin.
His crystal is the color of the wild roses that were at the center of his dream and of his motivation to fight Chaos. The roses are also the emblem of the Rebel Army he was a part of in his core world of FFII. His crystal is shaped like Pandaemonium, the final dungeon of his core world story. Firion gains a violet glow and then vanishes.
WoL is walking through the field and then comes to a stop. He's looking at something.
WoL: May the light forever shine upon us.”

As you can see, everyone’s crystal is very important to the story of their core world, and in the cases of at least Tidus, Squall, Terra and Cecil, the crystals represent something very personal. What about Cloud and his crystal, then? What about the dream he lost and the person he wants to meet? Let’s begin analyzing to answer these questions.
III. c) ii. Fact Analysis
Firstly, it’s clear to me that the Cloud that appears in *DFF* is a post-OG Cloud, given how many plot points from OG he interacts with. I’m reticent to say whether or not this post-OG Cloud is dead like in *FFT*, as he recovers many of his memories of OG during *DFF* and there is no evidence of him having passed away and joined the Lifestream.
The second thing I’d like to point out is Cloud’s strange reaction when Tifa compared him to a hero who swoops in and saves the girl from the bad guy. Cloud gasps, indicating that her words mean something to him; the trope Tifa references must therefore be included somewhere in the *FFVII* OG plot-line. Some of you are surely ahead of me by now, having realized that only the tragic antithesis of this trope appears in OG: Cloud is unable to save Aerith from Sephiroth (disk 1, chapter 28). Whether or not *DFF* Cloud remembers Aerith herself at this point, it’s clear he recalls the pain and guilt of losing Aerith to Sephiroth.
Next, let’s address Cloud’s lost dream: to meet an unspecified person. It seems Cloud is aware at this point that in OG, he was eternally separated from the person he dreams of meeting. So, who was he separated from in his core world? Who can he never meet again, even if his team of warriors defeat Chaos and Cloud returns to the realm of *FFVII*? There are a few options —his mother, his father, Zack, Jessie, Biggs, Wedge, and any other person he knew who died—, but the sheer narrative weight that Aerith’s untimely death carries makes it clear who he truly wants to meet. This is corroborated by Cloud’s “I think I can meet her… there” line in OG (disk 3 chapter 3), by *FFT* Cloud’s search for Aerith during his appearance in Ivalice, and by Cloud’s strange reaction to Tifa’s comparing him to a hero who swoops in and saves the girl from the bad guy. All the available evidence suggests that Cloud’s dream is indeed to reunite with Aerith, and that this dream is “lost” to him because she was killed by Sephiroth (disk 1, chapter 28). This would also explain the title of the *DFF* segment “Recurring Tragedy”, since as we all know, the ultimate tragedy of *FFVII* OG is Aerith’s death. Considering Sephiroth was the one to take Aerith away from Cloud, Sephiroth’s threats of drowning him in despair in “Recurring Tragedy” only solidify this interpretation of Cloud’s lost dream.
Finally, we arrive at the ending cutscene. Cosmos’ warriors return to where they belong to try and accomplish whatever dream they held as motivation during the Cosmos-Chaos conflict, each carrying their *DFF* crystal. Cloud is shown standing in a field of white and yellow flowers and walking deeper into it with a light green materia in hand. Why was a white and yellow flower field chosen to represent *DFF* Cloud’s dream? The answer is obvious. White and yellow flowers symbolize Aerith: she sold Cloud a yellow blossom upon first meeting him in OG (disk 1, chapter 1), and her yellow and white flowerbed cushioned Cloud’s fall when the two reunited in the Sector 5 church (disk 1, chapter 4). What’s more, we have the [iconic credits video of the original cut of *Advent Children*](https://youtu.be/PqJ8Y8Nd9KE?si=O\_QolO-iNsDmZWR6) to refer to, wherein Cloud is seen driving near flower fields. Aerith stands there (3:20), seemingly waiting for him. Here’s what Nomura had to say about this credits scene:

"[...] we filmed the video for the ending credits in Hawaii. There are fields of flowers on both sides of the road, and the colors —yellow and white— are the same as the flowers in Aerith's church […]. With Aerith, 'flowers' have been her image throughout the series” (FFVII Reunion Files, “Countdown to Reunion”, “Stories from CG Production”, page 87).

Even in the Advent Children Complete cut of the film, where Aerith is not shown standing in the field, the flowers and their symbolism of Aerith remain. That being so, it’s more than fair to say that the white and yellow flowers in DFF’s ending cutscene serve as yet another confirmation that Cloud’s dream is to be with Aerith.
With all of this established, we can address the nature of Cloud’s *DFF* crystal. As we established, every core world has its own version of a crystal, each possessing a distinct appearance, function and meaning. Materia are the crystals of *FFVII*, so one could be satisfied by the proposition that Cloud’s *DFF* crystal is simply meant to represent a random materia. However, I think Cloud’s crystal is specifically the White Materia, as it represents Aerith’s sacrifice, her importance to the plot and what she died fighting for. If any one object symbolizes her death, it’s the White Materia; it’s even given closeups during the [event](https://youtu.be/Wx3duFYCcho?si=Zg332l6dMLwpZMF2&t=150) (2:33-3:02). Besides, unlike any other materia in *FFVII*, the White Materia is known to glow a light green when Holy has been activated:

“Bugenhagen: If [the prayer] reaches the planet, the White Materia will begin to glow a pale green” (FFVII OG, disk 2, chapter 15).

Here are pictures of the materia so you can compare for yourself:
https://preview.redd.it/0qtumfeyfq0d1.jpg?width=386&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3995f010738c83fca0c5842a0564d0a9ad206dfd
https://preview.redd.it/0kj525tzfq0d1.jpg?width=1144&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=575573ef1d2c937635cf569d4a376886a24b384c
Cloud's DFF Crystal
Cloud’s DFF crystal
So far, in both suspension world games we’ve examined (*FFT* and *DFF*), Cloud is searching for Aerith. As a final note on *DFF*, it may interest you to know that codirector of the *Remake* trilogy Toriyama was actually a writer for *DFF*: he may have carried some themes from *DFF* to *Remake*…
III. d) Detour: The Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Farewell Exposition
Before we hop onto the next suspension world, let’s return to ours for a quick detour: the 2018 *Final Fantasy* 30th Anniversary Expo. Themed with farewells and tragedy, this expo showcased the heartbreaking goodbyes featured in different *FF* games. Artwork, clips, quotes and images aplenty here! As the highly anticipated *Remake* was going to be coming out approximately a year and a half later, the *FFVII* section of the expo featured a few sneak peek *Remake* designs. This means the expo was at least partly curated with the *Remake* trilogy in mind; there could be interesting material in the *FFVII* section of the expo related to *Remake*. Let’s dive in!
Unsurprisingly, the focus of the *FFVII* section is Cloud and Aerith, since she is the loved one he lost in OG. Zack is also given a mention, however Aerith was the glaringly central star of the show. To showcase how important Aerith’s farewell in particular was to the expo, the *FFVII* portion was introduced by a photo of Cloud lowering Aerith into her watery grave and a video of her tragic death:
Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Farewell Exposition, FFVII Introduction
The description under the video screen reads:

“She was gone in the blink of an eye. But the pain never went away.
Aerith awoke the ultimate magic to protect the planet and the people she loved. Yet her life came to a sudden end at the hands of Sephiroth, a man bent on seeing the world destroyed. Even the usually stoic Cloud couldn’t hide his grief at the unexpected death of an irreplaceable companion. ‘My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning.’ True words, revealing Cloud’s deep sorrow” (Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Exposition).

Conveniently enough for us, the expo’s tagline is “Who is the person you want to meet again?” Given that Aerith holds the spotlight in the FFVII section of the expo, it’s clear who SE is telling us Cloud wants to reunite with. Recall Cloud’s unfinished line in DFF: “The one I really want to meet is..." (Dissidia 013: Light to All, epilogue: “Conclusion of a Cycle”, “Recurring Tragedy”). We theorized that he must be referring to Aerith, and now, we are certain.
The expo also had pamphlet descriptions of the farewells depicted. Here is the general summary of *FFVII*‘s farewell story according to that pamphlet:

“The story follows the lead character Cloud, but it is the heroine, Aerith, who opens Cloud’s eyes and helps bring him closer to understanding the mystery that is his past. Through her, we draw closer to the truth of the story.
This scene, in which the heroine Aerith is lost, is easily the most shocking and tragic in the story. No one expected to say goodbye to such a major character in the middle of the story. Rumors of a secret way to revive Aerith spread, and it was clear players were having a hard time saying goodbye to her too. Even now, twenty years later, it still feels like a shocking turn of events” (Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Exposition Pamphlet, page 36).

It’s interesting that SE would mention the rumors of Aerith’s revival circulated by players back in 1997, especially as fans were awaiting Remake’s release…
In light of everything we’ve analyzed so far, it can be said that between *FFT* (1997) and this farewell expo (2018), SE has consistently demonstrated that reuniting with Aerith is post-OG Cloud’s goal. That’s a period of over two decades— two decades of wishing, seeking, longing in real-world time for this character. This is a huge long-term commitment for SE to make, and you can bet the devs don’t take it lightly. Again and again, once the events of the OG game have ended, Cloud is shown to desire a reunion with Aerith. This ever-present and ever-insistent theme will become very important to us later in this post.

Just read Alex Kasprak's declaration article that the passage so many fringe Republicans believes is in Ashley Biden's stolen diary saying her father, President Biden, showered with her is true. But I'm not convinced.
He supports his contention by quoting a letter Ashley Biden wrote to the judge who presided over the case in which Aimee Harris was tried for transport of stolen property. In it Ashley Biden says
"Although this criminal act happened more than three years ago, because of the publicity it drew—exactly as Ms. Harris intended—I am constantly re-traumatized by it. I will forever have to deal with the fact that my personal journal can be viewed online.
Repeatedly, I hear others grossly misinterpret my once-private writings and lob false accusations that defame my character and those of the people I love."
To my mind this certainly persuades me the diary Aimee Harris stole was indeed authentic, that it was indeed written by Ashley Biden. But it does not confirm that the passage so many are saying was in the diary about the eventual President Biden showering with her was actually in that diary. Kasprak's claim of truth about that passage is simply not warranted by Biden's statement.
Kasprak does not show us any images of the actual diary with that particular passage in it. He does not say he's seen that passage either. His only link, from the word page in his fourth paragraph is to a wayback machine page showing the twitter of Camryn Kinsey showing the image of a handwritten page.
Has Kasprak matched this page to a copy of the diary? Has he matched it to an image of the diary? He does not say. Moreover, a quick look at Kinsey's twitter shows her to be quite a partisan Republican herself. Not a trustworthy source on her own for a claim this extraordinary.
I think Snopes should be challenged to show the actual evidence the particular passage in question is actually in Ashley Biden's diary. As it is, Snopes claim to the truth value of the allegation against President Biden is very weak.

It wasn’t always bad. The first 4 years were pretty good. The occasional fight or spat, then we had our first kid and there was this weird subtle shift. Barely noticeable, but definitely there. I was dealing with being a new mom, fell into a pretty bad postpartum anxiety, to the point I had to quit my job because it had gotten so bad. He started coming home from work then sitting in the garage for hours or leaving the house at odd times. It took me 2 years to figure out that what he was doing in the garage was smoking meth. Leaving to buy meth and to meet up with other people because according to him I wasn’t satisfying him. But how was I to know that you can’t actually satisfy a meth addict, something about the high. I don’t know I’ve never done it.
Anyway, I forgave him and tried to help him with his addiction. Tried everything I could think of short of having him committed to a rehab facility involuntarily… which I don’t think I can do without a court order. I lasted 8 months doing this before I couldn’t do it anymore, but then I found out I was pregnant, weirdly I was on birth control…fun. I feel like I need to add here that although our second baby was a bit of a surprise she was very much a wanted baby… a baby I had planned to try for 4 months after I actually got pregnant and only if things had calmed down. Oh and I had also started working again 6 months prior.
Well things got worse, so much worse. 7 months into my pregnancy I found out that he had been having an affair with some girl 12 years his junior who he wanted to move into my house with our children and be in a relationship with this person and I was supposed to just accept it. On top of that I also figured out he was sleeping with multiple other people…While in a panic, I had a moment of clarity and I ran to my OB and had them run every possible STD test out there. And positive it came back. Thankfully it was bacterial, caught in time and my doctor was able to treat it and get rid of it with a round of antibiotics.
That was it for me. I ended it. 7 months pregnant with a toddler and single… super excited. I wish I could say things got better after that. But, as so often happens, things got worse. Now I was being threatened to be beat up by his girlfriend. I was so deeply depressed I was hardly eating anything. When the baby came (during the beginning of Covid lockdown, by the way), he slept while I labored, was visibly high while I gave birth and stayed exactly 1 hour after she was born and then took off and didn’t come back until it was time for us to go home. And only then he only came back because he had my car with the car seat and I begged him to come get us after he suggested my sister pick us up.
And yet, I was so embarrassed about the whole situation blaming myself entirely for all of it. After all I chose him. No one knew what was happening. No one knew of the cheating, the meth, that sweet little letter he wrote me to convince me to bring his girlfriend to live with us. His threats of suicide and self harm. Nothing. And then one night 2 years later I decided I needed to start dating and so I did… bad idea… it lasted 2 months before he hacked into my phone. My email, my everything and was watching my every move. I figured it out one night when my phone stopped working and I went to my provider to find out what was going on. They let me know someone had cloned my sim and had access to all my personal accounts… they showed me the number that had my sim… it was his phone… his excuse when I confronted him? “I had to know where my children were” mind you I had never lied to him or kept the kids from him, matter of fact I went out of my way to tell him where we were and how long we’d be. I moved out that night. I went to the house grabbed all essentials for the kids and myself and anything else I could possibly fit in my small SUV asked my parents if I could stay with them and never looked back.
Three months later I found a tracking device in my car. I now have a permanent restraining order against the guy and he’s worked himself out of having both physical and legal custody of the kids.
All that to say that in the 4 years since I left him, I’ve tried to date several times… and… I can’t seem to stay with it. I’m afraid of everything. I’m afraid of being hurt again. I’m afraid of someone hurting my children, not that they ever even meet them. I’m afraid of ending in the same place I am now. I’m afraid of putting that much effort into someone again. I don’t know how to make the fear disappear. I don’t know how to let anyone in again. I’ve tried therapy, I’ve tried just jumping into it and nothing. I end up running for the hills.
I’m not saying I need to be in a relationship, but it would be nice to not feel so afraid of it. So stuck in this bad place that I can’t open up to the even the possibility of it.

When it comes to choosing a thoughtful gift for a new girlfriend, OyeGifts has a delightful selection that will surely impress her. Here are some ideas:
1. Personalized Jewelry: Show her you care with a piece of personalized jewelry, such as a necklace, bracelet, or ring engraved with her name or initials. This thoughtful gesture adds a personal touch and demonstrates your attention to detail.
2. Customized Photo Gifts: Create cherished memories with customized photo gifts, like a photo album filled with pictures of special moments you've shared together, or a custom photo frame featuring a favorite photo of the two of you.
3. Spa Gift Set: Treat her to a luxurious spa experience at home with a pampering gift set that includes bath bombs, scented candles, body lotion, and other indulgent spa essentials. It's the perfect way to help her relax and unwind after a long day.
4. Handwritten Love Letter: Express your feelings with a heartfelt handwritten love letter or romantic poem. Take the time to pour your thoughts and emotions onto paper, and present it to her in a beautifully decorated envelope for an extra special touch.
5. Personalized Keepsake Box: Give her a place to store treasured mementos and keepsakes with a personalized keepsake box engraved with her name or a meaningful message. It's a thoughtful and practical gift she'll cherish for years to come.
6. Cooking Class Experience: Plan a fun and interactive cooking class experience for the two of you to enjoy together. Whether it's learning how to make her favorite cuisine or experimenting with new recipes, it's a memorable way to bond and create lasting memories.
7. Customized Gift Basket: Put together a customized gift basket filled with her favorite things, such as gourmet chocolates, scented candles, a cozy blanket, her favorite snacks, and a bottle of wine or champagne. It's a thoughtful gesture that shows you've been paying attention to her likes and dislikes.
With these thoughtful gift ideas from OyeGifts, you can show your new girlfriend just how much she means to you and make her feel truly special and appreciated.

I live in a student accommodation and I have come across some problems that have left me no choice but to leave.
For starters, I’ve had a number of problems currently including a bug infestation (??) seems they are crawling out from the bad construction work. I don’t leave food out and I regularly clean, more so recently to get rid of them but somehow they always find a way in. Since moving in, my fridge has also not been pushed into place. It has been sticking out and although I have asked multiple times over the course of nearly 6 months for it to be repaired and put into place, it remains sticking out. My accomodation is also aware of (had to physically kick him out and ban him from the building) my abusive, stalker ex boyf who has made many threats to my life. One of the security guards onsite has been advocating on my behalf for months.
In the tenancy agreement, it says the only way that I will be considered for a tenancy release is in exceptional circumstances; “You must have withdrawn from your university or college and provided proof in the form of a withdrawal letter, signed on headed paper from the institution. You must also have a suitable letter from the doctor or medical institution detailing the issue of why you have withdrawn from the university.”
I’m not sure what to do going forward. Is there any legal way to leave? Considering the bug infestation, ignored maintenance requests and constant risk of harm. I have done months of begging. I’ve also tried for months to find someone to take over my tenancy, but unfortunately there aren’t any students looking for accommodation right now.
Please let me know. I’ve been trying to figure something out for 4 months.

I was wondering about academic debate in history, and to what extent everyone working with the same information would come to the same conclusion. Alternately - is it understood that different historians using the same information would make different interpretations?
Does it take newly uncovered information (letters in a library basement, for example) to create debates? Would we all (historians) agree on the causes of WW1 up until some grad student in an Austro-Hungarian archive finds a long-lost memo that shows it was Great Britain's plan all along?

Some info on returning faulty ring
If RingConn decide the ring requires replacing, for any reason they will inform you and offer a new ring by email to you.
U.K. only not sure how other countries work you may need to take yours to mail Depot/ PostOffice Directly.
So U.K. postage only below :-
In the email to U.K. , will be pre paid return labels, and customs declaration sheets. - put one declaration return sheet in with ring - attach one to parcel loosely for customs - give one to delivery driver.
Rest of the world :-
You follow instructions to return the ring and charging case as described in letter, they will post new ring to you asap.
The new ring will normally be sent to you first, whilst awaiting returned ring, but under some circumstances they may want the old ring returned first for examination.
As long as you accept offer of new ring by email to them, you must return old ring and charger once new ring received or your new ring will be disconnected ( send proof of posting returned ring to cs@ringconn.com)
First before sending ring back - In the app go to - me- press battery icon - ring setting tools- remove connected device.
Go to Bluetooth on phone also remove ring from Bluetooth devices remove connected device.
Follow return instructions in email
Replacement ring do I lose data in the app
No - all data is backed up on the servers and attached to your ring personal account, so as long as you disconnect the old ring from the app, (unbind ring) all will be ok in app.
When you get the replacement ring, you bind new ring to your original account (pair it) , and all your data will be still be in app ( except for time when ring sent away and returned)
How ring data works The ring collects the data (up to 6-.7 days ) you open app - ring sends sends collected data to the app via Bluetooth, and then the app sends it to the server via WiFi which processes it on servers via algorithms, it then sends the data back into the app after processing it. So don’t worry all data on servers

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DdJxUSevYf0
jonathan
jonathan bailey
jonathan kuminga stats
jonathan adler
jonathan and jesus
jonathan antoine wife
jonathan adams movies and tv shows
about jonathan swift
adler jonathan
a jonathan grave thriller
antoine jonathan
about jonathan roumie
anderson jonathan
about jonathan edwards
allen jonathan
about jonathan cahn
jonathan banks movies and tv shows
jonathan bennett movies
jonathan brandis movies and tv shows
jonathan bailey met gala
beautiful day jonathan roy
bridgerton jonathan bailey
brandis jonathan
beverly hills cop jonathan banks
bible david and jonathan
bgmi jonathan id
bernier jonathan
be jonathan livingston seagull
banks jonathan
books by jonathan haidt
jonathan cainer
charlotte and jonathan
chef jonathan whitener
colts jonathan taylor
cast of jonathan creek
crossroads jonathan franzen
creed 3 jonathan majors
creed jonathan majors
cahn jonathan
conricus jonathan
crombie jonathan
jonathan davino age
jonathan diller
jonathan davino net worth
dax shepard jonathan van ness
drew and jonathan scott
drew and jonathan
david jonathan
david and jonathan in the bible
don leo jonathan
david and jonathan friendship
davino jonathan
demme jonathan
diller jonathan
jonathan edwards resolutions
ellie and jonathan mafs
emma duncan jonathan majors
escape to the dream jonathan parents
eagles jonathan taylor
esther jonathan chant mp3 download
emily blunt jonathan ross
ellen chung jonathan gerrish
edwards jonathan
equerry jonathan thompson
elvis jonathan rhys meyers
jonathan frakes movies and tv shows
jonathan freeman movies and tv shows
jonathan f. mitchell
jonathan frakes net worth
freedom jonathan franzen
funeral for jonathan diller
franzen jonathan
film jonathan cohen
frozen jonathan groff
fantasy jonathan taylor
friendship of david and jonathan
feliz cumpleaños jonathan
fifa 23 jonathan david
foer jonathan safran
jonathan groff movies and tv shows
jonathan glazer oscar speech
jonathan glazer movies
jonathan glazer speech
goodluck jonathan
grace jabbari jonathan majors
glazer jonathan
general marcus jonathan
glee jonathan groff
gremlins jonathan banks
groff jonathan
greenblatt jonathan
gray jonathan
gilbert jonathan
jonathan hoffman sandra layne
jonathan hyde movies and tv shows
jonathan haidt books
haidt jonathan
haggerty jonathan
hatami jonathan
huberdeau jonathan
how much is jonathan d shoes
height of jonathan kuminga
how much is jonathan owens net worth
how much is jonathan d
hickman jonathan
how much is jonathan majors net worth
jonathan isaac stats
jonathan isaac shoes
jonathan india stats
jonathan isaac contract
jonathan isaac wife
jonathan in spanish
isaac jonathan
is jonathan bailey
india jonathan
is jonathan majors
i jonathan vinyl
it jonathan brandis
is jonathan bennett
is jonathan roumie
is jonathan taylor thomas
jonathan joestar
jonathan jossel
jonathan jackson wife
jesus and jonathan
james jonathan
jonathan jonathan mp3 download
jonathan butler jonathan butler songs
jonathan richman i jonathan
joseph jonathan
jones jonathan
jonathan edwards jonathan edwards
joestar jonathan
jackson jonathan
kingsley jonathan
korn jonathan davis
kang the conqueror jonathan majors
kim and jonathan
kuminga jonathan
kellerman jonathan
keeping me alive jonathan roy
korean jonathan
king jonathan
kellerman jonathan books in order
jonathan lipnicki movies
jonathan lawson
jonathan lewis
loki jonathan majors
lekkerimäki jonathan
las vegas jonathan lewis
lethem jonathan
lipnicki jonathan
lehrer jonathan
lapaglia jonathan
larson jonathan
lemire jonathan
las vegas jonathan lewis video
jonathan majors movies and tv shows
jonathan majors wife
jonathan majors net worth
jonathan majors girlfriend
meagan good and jonathan majors
michael jonathan peterson
major jonathan thompson
myles jonathan brando
majors jonathan
mr norrell and jonathan strange
mingo jonathan
marchessault jonathan
movies with jonathan majors
mcreynolds jonathan
jonathan name meaning
jonathan nolan movies and tv shows
jonathan nolan fallout
jonathan nyce
jonathan name
nypd jonathan diller
nancy and jonathan
news on jonathan taylor
name jonathan
name jonathan meaning
net worth of jonathan gaming
nelson jonathan
nolan jonathan
nelson jonathan i believe download mp3
net worth of jonathan owens
jonathan owens net worth
jonathan owens height
jonathan owens stats
jonathan owens simone biles
jonathan owens contract
jonathan owens wife
officer jonathan diller
oregon state jonathan smith
one piece jonathan
owens jonathan
opera singer jonathan
open letter jonathan glazer
osorio jonathan
ogden jonathan
order of jonathan cahn books
oscars jonathan glazer
jonathan pryce movies and tv shows
jonathan pangborn
police officer jonathan diller
patience jonathan
purity jonathan franzen
packers jonathan owens
pollard jonathan
pageau jonathan
producer jonathan wang
panzo jonathan
pryce jonathan
prince jonathan
jonathan quick stats
jonathan queer eye husband
jonathan quick trade
johnathan quiles
jonathan quick age
jonathan quick contract
jonathan queer eye pronouns
queer eye jonathan
queer eye jonathan husband
queer eye jonathan van ness
quick jonathan
quotes from jonathan livingston seagull
queen of the damned jonathan davis
que significa jonathan
queer eye jonathan hiv
queer eye jonathan pronouns
quotes by jonathan edwards
jonathan roumie movies and tv shows
jonathan roumie commencement speech
jonathan roumie wife
jonathan roumie net worth
jonathan roumie religion
rabbi jonathan sacks
reddit jonathan majors
rea jonathan
roumie jonathan
restaurant jonathan
resolutions of jonathan edwards
rowe jonathan
real name of jonathan
rhys jonathan
ross jonathan
jonathan simkhai
jonathan sadowski movies and tv shows
jonathan schmitz
sydney sweeney jonathan davino
stranger things jonathan
swift jonathan
seagull jonathan livingston
scott jonathan
stroud jonathan
schoop jonathan
stats jonathan huberdeau
shuttlesworth jonathan
sacks jonathan
jonathan taylor thomas movies and tv shows
jonathan the tortoise
jonathan tucker movies and tv shows
the jonathan ross show
the jonathan club
taylor jonathan
toews jonathan
turley jonathan
the meaning of jonathan
triple jump jonathan edwards
trade for jonathan taylor
t jonathan osgood
the seagull jonathan livingston
jonathan urban dictionary
jonathan uconn
jonathan uhr
jonathan uso
jonathan uhr obituary
jonathan upchurch
unitus jonathan isaac
unitus jonathan isaac website
unitus shoes jonathan isaac
update on jonathan taylor
update on jonathan majors
ultimate spider man jonathan hickman
unravel jonathan young lyrics
urban dictionary jonathan
under the skin jonathan glazer
uconn husky jonathan
jonathan van ness husband
jonathan van ness pronouns
jonathan van ness tour
jonathan van ness net worth
vice admiral jonathan
victoria aitken jonathan aitken
video of jonathan lewis
video of jonathan majors
vikings jonathan rhys meyers
viscount clive jonathan herbert
virgo jonathan cainer
vampyr jonathan reid
variety jonathan glazer
victoria and jonathan amazing race
who is jonathan majors
who is jonathan majors girlfriend
who is jonathan owens
who is jonathan davino
where is jonathan kuminga from
where is jonathan toews
who is jonathan roumie
who is jonathan van ness
who is jonathan bailey
who is jonathan glazer
jonathan xv
jonathan x steve
jonathan xiong
jonathan xie
jonathan x argyle
jonathan x damian
jonathan xiv
jonathan x speedwagon
jonathan x nancy
x-men jonathan hickman
x-men by jonathan hickman omnibus
x factor jonathan and charlotte
x factor jonathan
xanax jonathan adler
x-men by jonathan hickman vol. 1
xqf paraboy vs jonathan
xanax pillow jonathan adler
x-men inferno jonathan hickman
x-men by jonathan hickman omnibus review
jonathan yudelman
jonathan yudelman asu
jonathan yudelman rate my professor
jonathan yudelman video
jonathan yudelman reddit
jonathan y rugs
youtube jonathan cahn
young jonathan banks
young jonathan davis
youtube jonathan pie
young jonathan majors
young jonathan taylor thomas
you'll be back jonathan groff
your world jonathan mcreynolds
young jonathan groff
yiombi jonathan
jonathan zallez
jonathan zeizel
jonathan zucker
jonathan zambrano
zooey deschanel and jonathan scott
zooey deschanel jonathan scott split
zack moss or jonathan taylor
zooey and jonathan
zooey deschanel husband jonathan scott
zooey deschanel and jonathan scott married
zooey deschanel jonathan scott baby
zone of interest jonathan glazer
zebulon police chief jonathan hemphill
zoe jonathan wolf
jonathan 007 smith
jonathan 0705
jonathan 0301
jonathan_00
jonathan_0934
jonathan_01
jon 0201
jon-0304jc
jonathan pryce 007
jonathan plots the graph of the equation y=0.5x3−4
jonathan rivera 04
jonathan hunt 007
jonathan's condominiums hampton nh 03842
jonathan rivera 04 tiktok
jonathan a physician earns $200 000
jonathan young 10 000 light years lyrics
jonathan bailey 007
scp 001 jonathan ball
jonathan 15
jonathan 14
jonathan 13
jonathan 192 tortoise
jonathan 1 9
jonathan 191 year old tortoise
jonathan 16
jonathan 12 uconn
1800 jonathan way reston va
1996 jonathan taylor thomas calendar
10 facts about jonathan swift
10 jonathan street warners bay
12 jonathan lane sandwich ma
107 jonathan trl glastonbury ct
1287 jonathan lane wantagh ny
1 samuel david and jonathan
13 jonathan court warwick ny
13 stories jonathan sims
jonathan 2016 cast
jonathan 2013
jonathan 2013 short movie
jonathan 2018 videos
jonathan 2013 short film
jonathan 2 finger control code bgmi
24/7 jonathan crary
2023 jonathan taylor thomas
2/22 jonathan street warners bay
238 jonathan road new canaan
2021 jonathan taylor stats
2021 jonathan taylor fantasy
21 days jonathan roy
2024 horoscope jonathan cainer
247 jonathan paylor
247 jonathan daniels
jonathan 30 rock
jonathan 3 on 1 fight
jonathan 30 rock reddit
jonathan 3 16
jonathan 30 rock season 6
jonathan 3x sensitivity
jonathan 350r
jonathan's 3rd avenue
30 rock jonathan
36 questions jonathan groff
30/90 jonathan larson
3626 jonathan circle augusta ga
3534 jonathan cir
32 jonathan circle merrimack nh
378 jonathan street london
3333 jonathan rd oxford mi
3350 jonathan edwards circle shreveport la
3437 jonathan circle
jonathan 49ers
jonathan 42 survivor
jonathan 494
jonathan 49ers cheerleader
jonathan 4k wallpaper
jonathan 4 finger claw code
jonathan 4k image
jonathan 4x sensitivity
48 jonathan drive east hampton
48 hours jonathan vigliotti
4am jonathan dorf
48 jonathan st greystanes
48 hours jonathan banks
4006 jonathan st waterloo ia
4449 jonathan lane beamsville
4a jonathan street warners bay
4696 jonathan creek road
417 jonathan street hagerstown md
jonathan 5 bullets
jonathan 550 children
jonathan 550 kids
jonathan 550
jonathan 5 goli
jonathan 50 first dates
jonathan 5 star astd
jonathan 550 child
jonathan 50 first dates trans
5 facts about jonathan edwards
5 facts about jonathan swift
5 gifts jonathan gave david
56 jonathan drive mahopac ny
50 cent jonathan ross show
55 jonathan st hagerstown md
50 first dates jonathan
5309 jonathan ct
5137 jonathan
5/19 jonathan street greystanes
jonathan 6 star astd
jonathan 6x sensitivity
6 jonathan court brown hill
611 jonathan hoffman rd
6 jonathan court barrie
68 jonathan street eleebana
616 jonathan glen way
6616 jonathan dearborn mi
603 jonathan lane marlton nj
6a jonathan close coffs harbour
6 red jonathan ct
684 jonathan road hannibal mo
6595 jonathan st pfafftown
600 jonathan hoffman rd
jonathan 70s on 7
jonathan 7 lives of lea
jonathan 7 star astd
john 7
7 jonathan street warners bay
7 jonathan street upper coomera
716 jonathan hoffman rd
73 jonathan lane ontario ny
7986 jonathan drive ooltewah tn
70 resolutions of jonathan edwards
7th avenue jonathan butler
7 lives of lea jonathan
73 jonathan drive manahawkin nj
7434 jonathan drive niagara falls
714 jonathan st athens tx
7413 jonathan drive
jonathan 8n spanish
jon 8 out of 10 cats
86 jonathan lucas st
john 8
818 jonathan way kingsport tn
83 jonathan street eleebana
8 jonathan rd burlington ma
jon 85 south show
89 jonathan trl glastonbury ct
882 jonathan way altamonte springs
8075 jonathan drive ooltewah tn
80s jonathan sceats glasses
8/26 jonathan avenue burwood east
8027 jonathan drive ooltewah tn
8 jonathan court
jonathan 90 day fiance
jonathan 90 day fiance wife
jonathan 90 day fiance reddit
jonathan 90210
jonathan 90 day fiance ethnicity
jonathan 90 day fiance wife instagram
jonathan 90s
jonathan 90 day fiance baby
jonathan 90 day fiancé new wife
90 day fiance fernanda and jonathan
90 day fiance jonathan
96 jonathan lucas st
90s jonathan davis
90s jonathan taylor thomas
90 day fiance fernanda and jonathan reddit
90 day fiance jonathan and fernanda instagram
97 jonathan lucas street
99 jonathan lucas street
90s jonathan brandis

My boyfriend 34M and I were getting pretty serious until we hit a bit of a roadblock recently due to his mental health. It's one of those cases where he doesn't really know what's wrong but he's having trouble caring about anything but work. Including me. He is normally SO patient and kind but the past two months he started getting so easily annoyed and making new (for him) comments like "are you ok mentally, this is giving off a bipolar vibe" when I would so sweetly inquire to things like him not answering our nightly FaceTime when we were already on a voice call, or why he didn't tell me he wasn't coming over for our planned day together yet never showed.. I chalked it up to the mental struggles I believed him to be having but like, wow, I felt really freaked out by such responses as someone who is very familiar with being manipulated by dad and ex.
So here's the big one.. the past couple of weeks there had been 4 instances (now 5) where a couple hours after he leaves my apartment I notice that my AC seems to be constantly running. When I go to check it out I noticed that it was switched from "auto" to "on" (meaning it won't shut off when it reaches the set temp. It just runs constantly). I had NEVER made this mistake before as I am very conscious of my energy bill, turning lights off when I exit a room, etc. After the second time, I asked him about it to see if he had messed with my thermostat and he said no.. the next time he came over he seemed so interested in the thermostat and started trying to convince me someone had been coming into my apartment. Now I know this isn't the case and when I said so, he agreed, and said that I must be doing it and forgetting... I let it go right away but didn't completely ignore the little alarm bell in the back of my head. It happened two more times (both on days he was here) and so a couple days ago I asked him about it again. He got this sweet, concerned voice and asked me if I knew how to use the thermostat ok???? Now today was the first time he'd been over since. 4 hours later I notice the AC is running a long time so I go and look and, sure enough, it's set to 'on'. I'm not against being wrong or forgetful here, but it's also soooo weird that this "mindlessness" of mine coincidentally ONLY happens when he's here. I just don't trust him right now and I don't know what to do because on the one hand, I want to be patient with his mental struggles and make sure I don't project trauma from my past narcissistic relationship onto him, especially since he's been so loving until recently.. but at the same time I don't want to "get got" again. How much patience is healthy to give this man and where do I draw the line? Do I address this issue after somehow getting proof he can't deny or is this an immediately firable offense? Please help.

TLDR; how can I change the date of my phone hearing for a case my employers are appealing? I didn’t get the letter until 2 days beforehand and was told to submit evidence but I don’t have time!
I got a letter from IDES that my employer is once again appealing the approval for benefits that I’ve already received two or three times. I got a letter saying that there will be a phone hearing on Friday at 9am and to submit all evidence I have that proves why I should be eligible and why I told them that my termination reason are false accusations on my employers end.
A little backstory without giving any hints of my identity, (I may have old coworkers in here), when I first applied, I got denied of course then had a phone interview with IDES about the inconsistencies in my employer’s reason for termination and request for denial of benefits. My ex manager told ides that I was terminated for something that would severely affect my license but told me something completely different so I was absolutely dumbfounded when ides revealed that info to me. My employee file was submitted to ides for review and they stated that since the investigation was unfounded and I was not fired for my own wrongdoing, IDEA approved me for benefits.
My question is, I got this letter WEDNESDAY but the hearing is FRIDAY???? How would I go about getting that date pushed back so I can prepare for that? Can I even do that? Honestly I don’t need unemployment anymore because I just started a new job but I don’t want to just not show up because I’m sure they’ll make me pay them back and they don’t deserve that after fucking me over 😂
Yes I am speaking with a lawyer about this whole termination situation and legal action will be taken. I know this description is kinda vague but the case is strong.
Also, anyone know of any good employment lawyers in Illinois? 😂 my lawyer friend isn’t practicing anymore :(

Hi guys,
Ako lang ba nakaka experience nito or kayo din? Nag pay using QR kasi ako tapos nag error yung transaction (may lumabas na timed-out). Pero nung bumalik ako sa homescreen, nabawasan na yung balance ko.
Eto yung timeline of events, I will approximate some figures, I can show the mods exact proofs if they need to confirm the details:

1. [2024/04/14 09:00am] Balance is 10,000php.
2. [2024/04/14 03:00pm] Nag Pay using QR ako ng 2,000php. Nabawas sa balance at hindi din natanggap ng merchant.
3. [2024/04/15] Nag file ako ng ticket sa Gcash stating na nag Pay QR ako. Nabawasan yung balance.
4. [2024/04/28] Hindi pa rin nagrereply yung GCash so nag report ako sa BSP.
5. [2024/04/28] Biglang ni close ng GCash yung dalawang ticket na ginawa - both ung BSP at ung old ticket. Sabi daw, "An agent will get back to you." Pero closed yung status ng dalawang ticket.
6. [2024/05/15] Nag open ako ng panibagong ticket, mabilis silang nag reply.

[2024/05/16] Latest update:
At eto na ung highlight ng accusation. Sabi nila, "We have conducted a thorough review and have not identified any transactions totalling 2,000php. Please review your transaction history."
Now, yung transaction history ko, naputol between 2024/04/08 and 2024/04/14. Legit mga mars, para ni-doctor ung transaction history.
https://imgur.com/a/7tCCeKl
I have screenshot proofs na may mga transactions dapat ako between those dates, here's one na nangyari 2024/04/10. Madami ito. Pero take note na naputol na yung transaction history ko after 2024/04/08.
https://imgur.com/a/qEtVAWe
SOMETHING IS VERY VERY WRONG HERE. They said na nag conduct na sila ng thorough review pero bakit may na delete na transactions sa history para mag match ung current balance narrative ko?
Yung BSP hindi naman nagrereply, More than 15 days na yung ticket ko, "open" pa din ung status. Please monitor your balances closely, if nangyari sakin to, most likely baka mangyari din sa inyo.

Any and all perspectives help more than you know. I don’t have anybody to really talk about this with so any and all guidance or help is appreciated. It’s a lot to read, I might yap but it isn’t without reason lmao.
CONTEXT IS IMPORTANT for the sake of understanding. I’m 19 years old and have just finished my spring semester of college. I went to a big college first out of town, my main financial aid fucked me over so I had to switch at semester to my home state’s university. Anyway, this year was kind of tough for me lost a couple family members & my boyfriend had it rough, lost his best friend and dad within a few months of each other. Then we find out I’m pregnant. I wasn’t sure what I really wanted to do but didn’t get to make a choice, I miscarried sometime later. Shit was hard so I went back to hometown & finished semester online while staying with my boyfriend until I needed to move my stuff out of dorm.
My boyfriend is 19 and we’ve been together a year & a half, but known each other since middle school. We dated in 8 grade until he had to move out of state, he moved back & we started hanging out again. My circle is small & I don’t really make/have any friends but he’s my best friend. Even if we wouldn’t have chose to date after he came back to town, ik we would’ve been good friends. My family liked him or seemed to at least, especially my mom.
It’s well known in my family that my mom and I just don’t get along. She kept me quite literally locked away as the Cinderella child until I left. I could only do things if she wasn’t in a bad mood/something didn’t need cleaned/ a child didn’t need to be picked up/dropped off. My friends in high school never invited me ANYWHERE lmao but after a while I figured out it’s easier to just deal w it rather than push back harder. I didn’t know how to use a crosswalk until I was 14 lmao I was so sheltered sorry ANYWAYS, I turned 18 and it was like I had a brand new mother until her fear of me leaving wore off.
Long story short, the summer before I left for college (last summer) I didn’t have anywhere else to go so I moved in with boyfriend. My mom did the absolute most, almost got me fired from my job & ambulance ended up being called from how much of a tantrum she threw. It was so ridiculous that she refused to tell anybody what happened when people asked because she said it’s too embarrassing for her.
Just like that, she flipped and was saying some terrible stuff about my boyfriend. He had a rough upbringing which she knows some stuff about. She took that and twisted the narrative to make him seem like some sort of charity case that took advantage of her generous & good graces. She calls him the hungry kid who hung out w her daughter. He’s no longer allowed at her house lmao just out of spite. He never said a word to her or about her when she had the worst to say about him, he never was disrespectful or like showed up to the house either idrk what that was for. Even when I moved out & she drained my entire savings I had worked for since I was 15, he never said anything bad about her just that i was going to be okay and he’s gonna help me figure it out. Not only that but she shunned me for a long long time, refused to talk & look at me after I moved out which made me feel incredibly guilty & like I had to compensate so I’d stress out & make sure to see her and my siblings every single day. My little brother is 5 and doesn’t really understand but my mom didn’t try to explain or kid proof it, just let him scream and cry and claw at my legs whenever I’d leave the house to go home.
If you’re still reading thank you sm.
Fast forward to today, I went to college finished my semester and am back in my hometown. Over breaks in college I’ve stayed at my moms cause she expected me to and her & I’s relationship has gotten so much better with distance. Between her and boyfriend, they were my biggest support especially with the miscarriage. But the only conversation they’ve had is when him and I went to talk to my mom in person when I found out I was pregnant. Not sure where she stands with him idrc but I’m sure she probably hates him more since we did technically make her worst fear as a mother come true.
Im living with her again mainly cause I don’t want to be isolated again and i physically cant deal with the debilitating anxiety and guilt every single day, I wanted to try to focus my energy on healing & resting before I start classes here. Boyfriend’s family situation is getting v challenging for him, so he wants to get a place regardless. I really just want my own space where I’m not feeling constantly overstimulated and I miss living with him a lot if honestly. We make the best team & it’s so easy with him. I catch myself getting so excited looking at furniture even from the thrift or cooking meals w him or decorating. I miss him making breakfast for me before I wake up and folding laundry together and grocery shopping. He’s paying 6 months rent in advance so I won’t have to worry about getting enough hours & can enjoy summer and actually rest, both of us independently have a pretty thick cushion to fall back on too just in case. So finances aren’t a problem I think?
My mom isn’t too keen on the idea I think she just doesn’t want me to make the same mistakes she made, which I understand because I was also there when she was left with half of every pair of shoes she owned, I mean he took literally half of everything. Even in the case that we do break up and then I’m stuck with an apartment with my ex and have completely fucked myself over, at least I was able to make my own mistake for the first time and learned from it? I don’t know what to tell my mom or how the conversation should go. I don’t wanna be shunned again but then again I’ve never once been able to just do something and justify it with “it’s my life”. Idk, advice/thoughts/bullshit/opinions please please help. Have a blessed day, thank you. I appreciate your time & input more than you know, I don’t have anybody to bounce ideas around with.

Any and all perspectives help more than you know. I don’t have anybody to really talk about this with so any and all guidance or help is appreciated. It’s a lot to read, I might yap but it isn’t without reason lmao.
CONTEXT IS IMPORTANT for the sake of understanding. I’m 19 years old and have just finished my spring semester of college. I went to a big college first out of town, my main financial aid fucked me over so I had to switch at semester to my home state’s university. Anyway, this year was kind of tough for me lost a couple family members & my boyfriend had it rough, lost his best friend and dad within a few months of each other. Then we find out I’m pregnant. I wasn’t sure what I really wanted to do but didn’t get to make a choice, I miscarried sometime later. Shit was hard so I went back to hometown & finished semester online while staying with my boyfriend until I needed to move my stuff out of dorm.
My boyfriend is 19 and we’ve been together a year & a half, but known each other since middle school. We dated in 8 grade until he had to move out of state, he moved back & we started hanging out again. My circle is small & I don’t really make/have any friends but he’s my best friend. Even if we wouldn’t have chose to date after he came back to town, ik we would’ve been good friends. My family liked him or seemed to at least, especially my mom.
It’s well known in my family that my mom and I just don’t get along. She kept me quite literally locked away as the Cinderella child until I left. I could only do things if she wasn’t in a bad mood/something didn’t need cleaned/ a child didn’t need to be picked up/dropped off. My friends in high school never invited me ANYWHERE lmao but after a while I figured out it’s easier to just deal w it rather than push back harder. I didn’t know how to use a crosswalk until I was 14 lmao I was so sheltered sorry ANYWAYS, I turned 18 and it was like I had a brand new mother until her fear of me leaving wore off.
Long story short, the summer before I left for college (last summer) I didn’t have anywhere else to go so I moved in with boyfriend. My mom did the absolute most, almost got me fired from my job & ambulance ended up being called from how much of a tantrum she threw. It was so ridiculous that she refused to tell anybody what happened when people asked because she said it’s too embarrassing for her.
Just like that, she flipped and was saying some terrible stuff about my boyfriend. He had a rough upbringing which she knows some stuff about. She took that and twisted the narrative to make him seem like some sort of charity case that took advantage of her generous & good graces. She calls him the hungry kid who hung out w her daughter. He’s no longer allowed at her house lmao just out of spite. He never said a word to her or about her when she had the worst to say about him, he never was disrespectful or like showed up to the house either idrk what that was for. Even when I moved out & she drained my entire savings I had worked for since I was 15, he never said anything bad about her just that i was going to be okay and he’s gonna help me figure it out. Not only that but she shunned me for a long long time, refused to talk & look at me after I moved out which made me feel incredibly guilty & like I had to compensate so I’d stress out & make sure to see her and my siblings every single day. My little brother is 5 and doesn’t really understand but my mom didn’t try to explain or kid proof it, just let him scream and cry and claw at my legs whenever I’d leave the house to go home.
If you’re still reading thank you sm.
Fast forward to today, I went to college finished my semester and am back in my hometown. Over breaks in college I’ve stayed at my moms cause she expected me to and her & I’s relationship has gotten so much better with distance. Between her and boyfriend, they were my biggest support especially with the miscarriage. But the only conversation they’ve had is when him and I went to talk to my mom in person when I found out I was pregnant. Not sure where she stands with him idrc but I’m sure she probably hates him more since we did technically make her worst fear as a mother come true.
Im living with her again mainly cause I don’t want to be isolated again and i physically cant deal with the debilitating anxiety and guilt every single day, I wanted to try to focus my energy on healing & resting before I start classes here. Boyfriend’s family situation is getting v challenging for him, so he wants to get a place regardless. I really just want my own space where I’m not feeling constantly overstimulated and I miss living with him a lot if honestly. We make the best team & it’s so easy with him. I catch myself getting so excited looking at furniture even from the thrift or cooking meals w him or decorating. I miss him making breakfast for me before I wake up and folding laundry together and grocery shopping. He’s paying 6 months rent in advance so I won’t have to worry about getting enough hours & can enjoy summer and actually rest, both of us independently have a pretty thick cushion to fall back on too just in case. So finances aren’t a problem I think?
My mom isn’t too keen on the idea I think she just doesn’t want me to make the same mistakes she made, which I understand because I was also there when she was left with half of every pair of shoes she owned, I mean he took literally half of everything. Even in the case that we do break up and then I’m stuck with an apartment with my ex and have completely fucked myself over, at least I was able to make my own mistake for the first time and learned from it? I don’t know what to tell my mom or how the conversation should go. I don’t wanna be shunned again but then again I’ve never once been able to just do something and justify it with “it’s my life”. Idk, advice/thoughts/bullshit/opinions please please help. Have a blessed day, thank you. I appreciate your time & input more than you know, I don’t have anybody to bounce ideas around with.

Edit: spelling
TLDR; how can I change the date of my phone hearing for a case my employers are appealing? I didn’t get the letter until 2 days beforehand and was told to submit evidence but I don’t have time!
I got a letter from IDES that my employer is once again appealing the approval for benefits that I’ve already received two or three times. I got a letter saying that there will be a phone hearing on Friday at 9am and to submit all evidence I have that proves why I should be eligible and why I told them that my termination reason are false accusations on my employers end.
A little backstory without giving any hints of my identity, (I may have old coworkers in here), when I first applied, I got denied of course then had a phone interview with IDES about the inconsistencies in my employer’s reason for termination and request for denial of benefits. My ex manager told ides that I was terminated for something that would severely affect my license but told me something completely different so I was absolutely dumbfounded when ides revealed that info to me. My employee file was submitted to ides for review and they stated that since the investigation was unfounded and I was not fired for my own wrongdoing, IDEA approved me for benefits.
My question is, I got this letter WEDNESDAY but the hearing is FRIDAY???? How would I go about getting that date pushed back so I can prepare for that? Can I even do that? Honestly I don’t need unemployment anymore because I just started a new job but I don’t want to just not show up because I’m sure they’ll make me pay them back and they don’t deserve that after fucking me over 😂
Yes I am speaking with a lawyer about this whole termination situation and legal action will be taken. I know this description is kinda vague but the case is strong.
Also, anyone know of any good employment lawyers in Illinois? 😂 my lawyer friend isn’t practicing anymore :(