4 girls one finger paint link

Leotards

2011.08.03 22:24 Leotards

Girls in leotards and other spandex/lycra tight outfits. One-piece swimsuits, unitards, biketards, and others are welcome.
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2014.01.02 10:56 Backstories for Gifs!

Backstories for gifs provided in comic or image form. Is funny.
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2017.01.17 15:41 bigmanmac14 Grimdank Memes from the 41st millenium

Your central hub for the dankest memes from the 41st millennium and the Mortal Realms
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2024.05.16 20:49 DonnySpindles Building Headache rack

I have a 96 dodge 2500. I’m building a headache rack, I used 1/4” 1.5 square tubing 1/4” steel plates for the bases, and 1/8” 304 flat bar across the frame. I am going to buy a used toolbox off marketplace, and I want them to match color wise. So if I buy a chrome box, would it be easier to paint the rack and the box black or to give the rack a chrome finish? If painiting would be better, what would you do? Wire wheel, primer, black metallic paint, clear coat? Or would that spray bed liner stuff work better if I found one that sprays pretty fine? And if chrome is easier, how would you get a really nice mirror finish? Just grind, polish, grind, polish, until you are at the finest you could grind? Love some input. Thanks
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2024.05.16 20:49 Then_Marionberry_259 MAY 16, 2024 MUX.TO MCEWEN COPPER ANNOUNCES COMPLETION OF THE FEASIBILITY DRILLING PROGRAM

MAY 16, 2024 MUX.TO MCEWEN COPPER ANNOUNCES COMPLETION OF THE FEASIBILITY DRILLING PROGRAM
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70,000 meters completed, highlights include:
349.0 m of 0.77% Cu , including 232.0 m of 0.86% Cu (AZ23292)
382.5 m of 0.54% Cu , including 74.0 m of 0.86% Cu (AZ23277)
TORONTO, May 16, 2024 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) -- McEwen Copper Inc McEwen Mining Inc. (NYSE: MUX) (TSX: MUX), is pleased to provide the assay results from the currently completed drill season at the Los Azules project in Argentina. The prime objectives of this season’s infill drilling campaign were: 1. to confirm the size and grade of the deposit as compared to the 2023 PEA estimate and upgrade the resource categories for the upcoming feasibility study; 2. test for extensions of mineralization beyond the current pit shell; and 3. explore our large property package for other mineralized areas.
Based on the assay results received to date, our first objective appears to have been met. Initial interpretation suggests that our infill drilling will result in an increase in Measured and Indicated resources and an overall mineral inventory within 5% of the PEA estimate. Testing for extensions beyond the planned pit has successfully encountered mineralization both to the north and to the south. Primary mineralization was intercepted (202.0 m of 0.20% Cu) over 400 meters north of last year’s deep exploration hole, confirming its extension at depth a significant distance to the north. Exploration south of the planned pit has intercepted the principal mineralized intrusive more than 700 meters south of previous drill intercepts and indicates that prospective intrusives continue well to the south of the pit.
Exploration over our property has produced an intriguing target, late in the season. Initial results of a concession-wide regional mapping and sampling campaign have identified strong evidence of a large porphyry system 3 kilometers east of the Los Azules deposit. Porphyry-style veining and quartz vein stockworks with copper oxide mineralization have been recognized within this new target, with assay results pending.
Additionally, this news release covers all results from the first half of the 2023-24 drill program (see Table 1 ). Final results will be published when all the geochemistry is completed.
The objective of the 2023-2024 drilling campaign is to collect all the necessary information to support the completion of the Los Azules Feasibility Study by early 2025. This information continues to arrive and will be processed in the following months. Resource drilling is focused on converting all the mineralization to be mined in the first 5 years to Measured and Indicated resource, to increase confidence during the payback period. Geotechnical, metallurgical, hydrogeological, exploration, and condemnation drilling are also being performed.
Highlights
  • Hole AZ23292 returned an intercept of 349 m of 0.77% Cu (approx. true thickness). The Enriched zone portion of this hole extends over 346 meters and includes an intercept of 232 m of 0.86% Cu
  • Hole AZ23277 has an intercept of 382.5 m of 0.54% Cu (approx. true thickness). The Enriched zone portion of this hole extends over 306 meters with a grade of 0.61% Cu and includes an intercept of 74 m of 0.86% Cu
Results
Results are summarized in two schematic cross sections ( Figures 2 and 3 ), which include simplified interpretations of the Overburden, Leached, Enriched and Primary zones. The Enriched mineral zone refers to the enrichment of a copper deposit by precipitation-derived water circulation that carries copper minerals downward through the rocks to accumulate in a thick, often horizontal “blanket”. Immediately above the Enriched zone is the Leached zone, from which copper was removed and transported. Weathering and oxidation often aid in this process. Below the Enriched zone, the Primary (or Hypogene) zone is formed by ascending copper-rich fluids having a much deeper magmatic origin. The green line on the sections indicates the pit floor of the 30-year pit shell from the 2023 NI 43-101 Preliminary Economic Assessment (PEA).
Figure 1 presents a plan view of the location of two sections and the holes reported. Adjacent cross sections are located 50 m apart from each other, starting with the lowest numbered section at the south end of the deposit and progressing to the north.
Figure 1 – Plan View Location of Cross-sections and Drill Holes Reported in this News Release
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Figure 2 displays an intercept of 349 m grading 0.77% Cu (AZ23292)
and includes 232 m grading 0.86% Cu within the Enriched zone. This hole extends higher-grade Enriched zone mineralization in the center of the section to the east and at depth.
Figure 2 - Section 40 - Drilling, Mineralized Zones and 30-year PEA Pit (Looking North)
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Figure 3 highlights a 382.5 m interval grading 0.54% Cu (AZ23277) and includes an interval of 74 m grading 0.86% Cu within the Enriched zone. This hole extends higher-grade mineralization in the eastern portion of the Enriched zone to the east and at depth.
Figure 3 - Section 52 - Drilling, Mineralized Zones and 30-year PEA Pit (Looking North)
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Growing the Deposit
Exploration hole AZ23241 ( Figure 4 ) intersected a long interval of low-grade mineralization in the Primary Zone ( 202.0 m of 0.20% Cu ) and began to enter higher-grade mineralization at the end of the hole ( 12.0 m of 0.44% Cu ). This hole is located completely outside of the 2023 PEA base case mineable pit shell. This hole is over 400 meters to the north of exploration hole AZ22174, also located outside of the 2023 PEA base case mineable pit shell, which encountered 1,052.0 m of 0.29% Cu including 480 m of 0.42% Cu ( Figure 4 ). These intercepts suggest that primary mineralization continues at depth a significant distance to the north. Exploration drilling south of the deposit has extended the presence of the early mineral porphyry more than 700 meters south of previous drilling and well outside of the southern pit boundary. This porphyry is host for the majority of the mineralization at Los Azules and encountering it a significant distance farther south indicates that the deposit may also continue in this direction. Assays for these holes are pending.
A comprehensive structural model for the deposit has been completed that will provide a better understanding of structural controls on the deposit and aid in future exploration work. Field verification of a previous property-wide structural study using satellite information was carried out in January and has refined the identification of nearby exploration targets.
Figure 4 – North-South Longitudinal Section (Looking East) With Deep Exploration Holes to the North and Exploration Holes to the South With Early Mineral Porphyry Shown in Red
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Indications of Another Porphyry Copper System Nearby
To date, geological mapping and geochemical sampling has been focused primarily near the Los Azules deposit and only covers roughly 40% of our large concession. To address this limitation, a mapping and sampling campaign was begun in December, to obtain 100% coverage of our concession.
Early results of this work have identified a large new porphyry system 3 kilometers east of Los Azules. Preliminary work has identified porphyry-style veining and alteration, indicating the presence of a porphyry copper system. Areas with strong quartz vein stockworking and the recognition of copper oxides at surface add to the prospectiveness of this newly identified area ( Figure 5 ).
Figure 5 – Quartz Stockwork Veining and Copper Oxides Identified at Surface in Porphyry Copper System 3 Kilometers East of Los Azules
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Table 1 summarizes copper (Cu), gold (Au) and silver (Ag) assay results received from October 2023 to December 31, 2023.
Table 1 – Recent Los Azules Drilling Results
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Technical information
The technical content of this press release has been reviewed and approved by Darren King, Director of Exploration of McEwen Copper, who serves as the qualified person (QP) under the definitions of National Instrument 43-101.
All samples were collected in accordance with generally accepted industry standards. Drill core samples, usually taken at 2 m intervals, were split and submitted to the Alex Stewart International laboratory located in the Province of Mendoza, Argentina, for the following assays: gold determination using fire fusion assay and an atomic absorption spectroscopy finish (Au4-30); a 39 multi-element suite using ICP-OES analysis (ICP-AR 39); copper content determination using a sequential copper analysis (Cu-Sequential LMC-140). An additional 19-element analysis (ICP-ORE) was performed for samples with high sulphide content and that exceeded the limits of the ICP-OES analysis.
The company conducts a Quality Assurance/Quality Control program in accordance with NI 43-101 and industry best practices using a combination of standards and blanks on approximately one out of every 25 samples. Results are monitored as final certificates are received, and any re-assay requests are sent back immediately. Pulp and preparation sample analyses are also performed as part of the QAQC process. Approximately 5% of the sample pulps are sent to a secondary laboratory for control purposes. In addition, the laboratory performs its own internal QAQC checks, with results made available on certificates for Company review.
Table 2 – Hole Locations and Lengths for Los Azules Drilling Results
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ABOUT MCEWEN COPPER
McEwen Copper is a well-funded, private company which owns 100% of the large, advanced-stage Los Azules copper project, located in the San Juan province, Argentina. McEwen Copper is a 47.7%-owned private subsidiary of McEwen Mining, which has the ticker MUX on NYSE and TSX.
Los Azules is being designed to be distinctly different from a conventional copper mine, consuming significantly less water, emitting much lower carbon and progressing towards carbon neutral by 2038, and being powered by 100% renewable electricity once in operation. In June 2023, an updated Preliminary Economic Assessment (PEA) was released, which projects a long life of mine, short payback period, low production cost per pound, high annual copper production and a 21.2% after-tax IRR.
ABOUT MCEWEN MINING
McEwen Mining is a gold and silver producer with operations in Nevada, Canada, Mexico and Argentina. McEwen Mining also holds a 47.7% interest in McEwen Copper, which is developing the large, advanced-stage Los Azules copper project in Argentina. The Company’s goal is to improve the productivity and life of its assets with the objective of increasing the share price and providing a yield. Rob McEwen, Chairman and Chief Owner, has a personal investment in the companies of US$220 million. His annual salary is US$1.
CAUTION CONCERNING FORWARD-LOOKING STATEMENTS
This news release contains certain forward-looking statements and information, including "forward-looking statements" within the meaning of the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995. The forward-looking statements and information expressed, as at the date of this news release, McEwen Mining Inc.'s (the "Company") estimates, forecasts, projections, expectations or beliefs as to future events and results. Forward-looking statements and information are necessarily based upon a number of estimates and assumptions that, while considered reasonable by management, are inherently subject to significant business, economic and competitive uncertainties, risks and contingencies, and there can be no assurance that such statements and information will prove to be accurate. Therefore, actual results and future events could differ materially from those anticipated in such statements and information. Risks and uncertainties that could cause results or future events to differ materially from current expectations expressed or implied by the forward-looking statements and information include, but are not limited to, effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, fluctuations in the market price of precious metals, mining industry risks, political, economic, social and security risks associated with foreign operations, the ability of the corporation to receive or receive in a timely manner permits or other approvals required in connection with operations, risks associated with the construction of mining operations and commencement of production and the projected costs thereof, risks related to litigation, the state of the capital markets, environmental risks and hazards, uncertainty as to calculation of mineral resources and reserves, and other risks. Readers should not place undue reliance on forward-looking statements or information included herein, which speak only as of the date hereof. The Company undertakes no obligation to reissue or update forward-looking statements or information as a result of new information or events after the date hereof except as may be required by law. See McEwen Mining's Annual Report on Form 10-K for the fiscal year ended December 31, 2023, and other filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission, under the caption "Risk Factors", for additional information on risks, uncertainties and other factors relating to the forward-looking statements and information regarding the Company. All forward-looking statements and information made in this news release are qualified by this cautionary statement.
The NYSE and TSX have not reviewed and do not accept responsibility for the adequacy or accuracy of the contents of this news release, which has been prepared by the management of McEwen Mining Inc.
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Photos accompanying this announcement are available at
https://www.globenewswire.com/NewsRoom/AttachmentNg/33c694f2-b6ae-456d-a566-32248720fdce
https://www.globenewswire.com/NewsRoom/AttachmentNg/16722842-96dd-4a47-beac-2263e2b7337a
https://www.globenewswire.com/NewsRoom/AttachmentNg/8146c956-b3b7-446f-a436-9f7bf9c98461
https://www.globenewswire.com/NewsRoom/AttachmentNg/23733c85-b899-4512-a8b4-5fc735c5f6bb
https://www.globenewswire.com/NewsRoom/AttachmentNg/fcde6690-9948-4c5a-b459-d2cac0c41ebd

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2024.05.16 20:45 miroslovemusic (Offer) 4Ks The Crow, Oceans Trilogy, Titanic, Across The Spiderverse, Avatar 2, Talk To Me, Sisu, John Wick 4, Nope, The Bad Guys, HDs Dream Scenario, Insidious Red Door(ISO) 4Ks Dune 2, Matilda, Polar Express, Starman

TRADING TIME
Hey fellow movie buffs! Looking to TRADE my precious codes for any 4K I don’t have! (ISO) Dune 2, Matilda, Polar Express, Starman, Alfred Hitchcock Collection Vol 3, Universal Monsters Collection, Columbia Classics Vol 4, The Last Dragon, and other NEW STUFF
Please 4K ONLY and NO LONG LISTS
Feel free to browse and lemme know what you got!) And Guys, I have almost everything already and very picky so please save some time for you and me!
New Stuff
UHD 4K Stuff
UK codes in 4K/HD
HD GOOGLE PLAY
HD Movies
Canadian HD Movie Codes (All port to US GP via a link I provide)
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2024.05.16 20:44 thenisaidbitch The entitlement of my coworkers getting paid $200/hr while on a free trip to Europe

I’m still in shock by how my coworkers acted over the last 4 days. The amount of whining and complaining for 3 people in their fifties is simply astonishing. To set the stage- we are all well paid professionals in a technology industry. I make about half of what they do (still a lot, but just to put it in perspective). Part of my job is visiting our vendors and typically a panel of experts joins. This visit was in Europe and only 2 days of work. We’re in one of the coolest cities in the EU, I booked a hotel close to every attraction (plenty of free time after work and the day of arrival), and found great restaurants. I’ve been here before and loved the hotel and everything about the city. Cue the whining!
Two full days of complaints in one of the coolest places ever. I get no place is perfect, but every town and country is different. You can’t expect US conveniences in Europe at all places, get over it! Traveling wouldn’t be fun otherwise!
I’ve traveled every other week for 6 months and have never complained this much over those entire 6 months. Kill me if I ever get as entitled as those people- working a measly 16 hours over 4 days while getting paid $200/hr plus paid to travel plus hired cars and first class airfare, plus free amazing meals and drinks, and free hotel rooms. How am I paid less and the only one that’s grateful?!
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2024.05.16 20:38 StillRare7904 Am I straight or not, (9 months into us being together)

I questioned if I liked my ex during the initial months of the relationship, then it got too toxic that I got trauma bonded, only thought about the toxicity while not being able to leave and there was no love.
Now I'm with my long time crush (liked him for 3-4 years), been talking for 9 months, and now it's official, his girl bestfriend texted him and he did block her because I was uncomfortable but I feel repulsed.
I'm scrolling through reels and I see videos of guys on cool outfits / shirtless, comments is full of girls simping, and I feel disgusted, like ew. Nothing attractive at alll. I feel disturbed.
So do I like men or not? Ive only had 3 crushes throughout 23 years.
1st one because he was smart, not because of appearance.
Ex because he copied my personality and I didn't realise it, so basically I loved myself.
Current guy because he has a cool dressing sense and he's caring.
Now what. Am I straight or something asexual aromantic being
When I'm being romantic in person I feel so forced like I'm playing a role like other girls. I also get disgusted when I look at other couples and I think every couple is cringey. I also believe that once I get into a relationship the other person is trying to make me cringey.
Like my ex said we'll start a collaborative quote account wtf ew I declined it. And this guy says we'll start a couples outfit vlog and I said no again.
I'm not become cringe like other couples.
Did I mention, dicks don't turn me on, I am disgusted. My current bf sent me one when we were dirty talking and I'm like so disgusted. I was very disgusted with my ex as well in the past. I'll always be disgusted.
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2024.05.16 20:38 1jjwrld Will her and I get back together one last time? Is this relationship reconcilable/redeemable after me messing up so many times? Is this really permanent or not? Did she just speak out of emotion or did she mean all that she said? Will Time and Space help? What advice can you give me?

TL;DR : (M18) turning 19 in August and (F20) This is our 3rd time breaking up along with our 2nd cancelled engagement with plenty of separations and rekindling throughout our entire 4+ years knowing eachother. We’ve done a lot of growing up together as well as apart and over the years we’ve both done eachother wrong but we’ve also done so so so much for eachother as well. However, it was always me who was less mature and messing up more. I recently messed up once again and in a state of high emotion on both sides, she was fed up and said We were never getting back together. Will I ever get one last chance with her?
Please, I miss her so much and I’m willing to do anything just for one final chance. I love her and I’m IN love with her with all my heart and soul bro. I am extremely attached, connected, and emotionally invested in this girl and we have been through so much together. I desire(more than anything else in the world) a future with her.
For more context:
Our first time breaking up, I had just turned 15 and she was 16. Her and I barely even dated for a couple months before I had indirectly and immaturely broken up with her by leaving it “upto her” because of me wanting to talk to other girls, but her and I still ended up talking and being flirtatious anyway. But then we had separated because of me getting my phone taken away for months. She had started talking to someone else who was MUCH MUCH older than her and was grooming hevery toxic to her but out of strange obligation, she stayed with him anyway although she really just wanted to be with me. Her and I still remained as close as ever although she had to turn me down twice when I wanted to rekindle things. Later on, I had got my phone back and as we entered into the next school year( she turned 17 and I turned 16) we grew closer and closer and feelings developed stronger and stronger meanwhile her relationship with him was getting worse and worse and they were having multiple breakups as well. She even at one point expressed to me that she was on the verge of breaking up with him and very bluntly hinted at as well as indirectly told me she wanted to leave him for me. But ultimately after she knew that my hopes were all up and everything she ended up just choosing him over me anyway and leaving me hanging. a couple months afterwards she posting vulgar things on social media with the caption “I’ll suck my man d#%k fr” or something along those lines. That’s when I fully moved on and went on to get in multiple relationships/“situationships” over the course of that year. Until fast forward to November 2023, she comes back and we very very quickly rekindle/get back together. over the course of that year, because of my porn and masturbation addiction we’ve separated as well as had many issues interfering with my attraction of her because of my skewed image of women and interfering with us having proper sex or intimacy without my fetishes being involved. Fast forward to August, I ended up falling into watching porn for almost my entire birthday week behind her back while she was working so hard to eventually bring me gifts on that day which I later confessed to the following month. We separated for 3 days and this is when I finally started taking my walk with the lord seriously.(she began months ahead of me and she was the one that even introduced me to Christianity in the first place)(her entirely family is Christian) 2 months pass and a couple days after I propose to her for the first time and posting about it? a girl I used to talk to had replied to my iG story congratulating me and as we talked and catched up, I fell to temptation once again and ended up saying more than I should have/inappropriate things but by the time I realized what I was doing and ended it. It was too late and I confessed to her immediately. after a couple of days, she took me home from work and broke up with me. We talked about it over text an hour or so later and agreed we would be going no contact for a month, but over that period we constantly broke it(I even indirectly tried killing myself with alcohol and drunk texted her to which she was very sympathetic to and when I ended up blacking out she was terrified and prayed all night over me and even reached out to friends of mine to make sure I was okay.) fast forward, she ends it early and we rekindle. Fast forward to either late March or April 2024, I fall into looking at iG couples art and ecchi aesthetic art aka softcore porn and I confess to her afterwards. She’s initially upset but she stays with me.
Later on down the line I begin to question my faith entirely and my foundation crumbles after following the teachings of fallible men/cult leaders and mainly doing it for her and because I loved hewanted to bond with her and not actually seeking the truth for myself(although I had my moments of genuinely being curious and wanting to discover it for myself.) However, she was still just as firmly rooted in her faith as ever and maturing even more. On the contrary, I grow weak and undisciplined in my flesh, I fall back into bad habits, I stop reading the word, praying, fasting, I isolate myself from fellowship. And as it gets harder and harder to resist my sexual urges and with her unwavering on her boundaries of no sex before marriage and etc. I fell back into masturbation but eventually back into porn as well(softcore stuff again mainly but I slipped into some fetish stuff too) and it was over the course of a couple days again with me feeling very guilty and being afraid to tell heI just wanted to repent of it and be done but she ended up getting dream a about it and asked me about it the very next day to which I was honest with her and confessed. Then after however many minutes go by and her breaking up with me a third time with her saying “We are done.” and “We will see” “Love you, Bye” instead of taking the advice everyone was giving me and giving her time and space from jump. I pressed her, begged/pleaded, and blew up her messages making it worse and aggravating her until she followed up with the next day with telling me “Sure I’ll let you know where we stand”We are never getting back together.”
I panicked and went into a high emotional state myself and went to her house late at night(1 or 2 am), and pressed her even more begging and pleading. But this made it worse as well and she had said “what us? there is no us” “go home” “you did what you did”and etc while pushing me out and slamming the door in my face. She originally only talked to her mother about it but because of my stupid decisions while being emotional I unintentionally involved everyone else in it. Her older sister’s husband went through a very similar situation with the older sister and had offered to talk to me about it along with everyone else. But when I followed up later on that day it created a misunderstanding and I ended up getting blocked by him and her older sister after she texts me on her older sister’s phone saying the same exact hurtful and cold/seemingly detached things and after begging and pleading to call, we did but it only made it that much worse. I tried to explain my side of things the best I could while being highly emotional but she didn’t want to hear any of it and proceeded to say even more hurtful, cold, seemingly, detached things, cussed me out, then hung up in my face and blocked me. This whole breakup was very messy and happened over the course of barely 3 days.
I’m still in contact with her mom and I recently contacted her dad as well(parents are divorced) and he had told me she never even mentioned anything to him about it which goes to show I made things worse/unnecessarily involved other people in it that otherwise might not have been involved.
Now I’m giving her proper time and space but I’m still extremely anxious/uncertain about where things will go from here.
(I ask that you be honest but also open minded/considerate in responses please, this all happened over the span of a couple of days and I’m still very fresh in the grieving process)
What do you all think about this situation? (I especially want to hear from a female perspective)
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2024.05.16 20:37 GeckoNova What 5 Songs Do You DESPERATELY Want In Just Dance & Why

  1. MGMT - She Works Out Too Much
This song would be extremely fun to play, very upbeat with potentially really interesting visuals in the background. I could see it taking place in something like Wii Fit with the workout coach in the background.
  1. Bjork - Joga
Bjork needs to have at least 1 song in the game at some point, why not choose one of her most bjork-sounding songs? I could see the She-wolf coach returning with her map melting into a volcano.
  1. Slowdive - Star Roving
This one is a personal favorite, a very beautiful but still danceable track. I could see the map taking inspiration from the music video with complicated geometric shapes zipping past the coach in space.
  1. M83 - Midnight City
One of the biggest indie songs of the 2010s with a big following, think it finally deserves a spot in a new JD game.
  1. Pond - Paint Me Silver
Another personal favorite, really any Pond song would be nice but I think this one could have the most JD appeal. Not entirely sure about the map but it has summer-y vibes.
Extra: Mo Si Man & Lao Mao - Wildflower Scent (DJ Mosen Remix #2)
We need the Jiafei song, it’s perfect in every way imaginable. It would be a fan favorite. I can already imagine a Jiafei coach in a department store surrounded by products, I need it.
submitted by GeckoNova to JustDance [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 20:33 TrevorVerges The Mollusk Storyline Daydream (Seven Years late)

So Long story short I stumbled onto a Post by u/pigsonbroadway talking about their take on The Mollusk. and in that thread was a very rad post by u/alwayspolite1999 where they spun a very interesting full story to go with the album that really inspired me. I spent the last 3 hours typing up this response but i think the thread is locked because it wont let me comment. I will post my long thoughts about it here for anyone that might appreciate it. Stay cool yall.
Hey hey, I know I'm nearly 7 years late on this, but thank you for giving me a framework for a very rad hour long relaxing daydream. I changed a few things in my head from this plot but i think it's safe to say you've irrevocably altered this entire album for me. Well done mate.
I wanna share my take on it, just in case you're feeling it or someone else likes it.
I'm imagining a story a lot like yours, about a man growing up and dealing with processing trauma, finding love, and ultimately watching his child leave. I kinda cut the Narrator character and replaced him with a thematic recurring violent masculinity "character" of sorts, like no one character is to blame for the protagonist's continued trauma and misfortune. I couldn't help but also imagine it as a play, so here goes.
  1. Dancing in the show tonight: A montage of sorts, with a young boy being raised by a mother and father, as the father slowly loses interest, neglects the child, and displays acts of violence, that are sometimes seen, but sometimes obfuscated from the boy by his mother. Eventually he experiences it directly at his father's hand. Blood/Violence, and subsequently the boy's traumatic thoughts, would be depicted with swirling red ribbons around him, fabric dancing about, etc, and these moments are all intrinsically tied to the ocean/beachside, where they live. By the end of the song, the boy's father gets on a boat and leaves the two on the beach, establishing a dreadful feeling for the viewer and character tied to the ocean. These events don't exactly suit the tone of DitST but that's part of the experience and ties into the ending.
  2. The Mollusk: The boy, slightly older, finds a little mollusk, seeding some type of positive connection with the ocean that could counteract his trauma, and perhaps (foreshadowing ;) ) represent his ultimate positive reconciliation with the ocean. He is desperate for a father figure and finds himself spending time around a few these untrustworthy and unsavory seamen. Perhaps they are mocking the boy by the end, tossing the mollusk around. The boy gets the mollusk back eventually and takes it back to the beach and lets it go. I hate that the whimsical nature of The Mollusk lends itself so well to a dissonance like this. In a vacuum The Mollusk is a very peaceful lovely song.
  3. Polka Dot Tail: The boy comes close to experiencing another traumatic situation, involving one of these drunken sailor men, but as you wrote, escapes and runs, trailed by the telltale red cloth setting in place further a lifelong discomfort/trauma response to the ocean. He returns home to his mother, who packs up everything and they move far away from the ocean, leaving their traumatic past behind, running somewhere.
  4. Jonny on the Spot: A Montage of the boy, now older, working hard, helping his mother, exhausted, a young man but already turning to getting wasted, staying out late, and associating with the wrong people, filling a hole somewhere in his heart. Eventually he does crash his car, stumbling out onto the beach, anxious, and running into a nearby bar, looking back at his fucked up Chevy.
  5. Mutilated Lips: A chaotic bar scene, surrounded my men, most outfits incorporating the color red somewhere. The Boy haunted by his pervasive trauma in this place. Until, while he's downing glasses, a waitress brushes his hand and sees his scratches, and meets his gaze. The drunkenness of course paints the scene as a merpeople atlantis ass underwater scene, bringing back ocean imagery to tie to the Boy's pain. The waitress has got some type of trauma as well, a cloth or ribbon or light effect (how do stage shows do mental effects like this? lol.) in her own color, let's say blue. They share a long passionate loving night together in her beachside shack, understand each other's pain and loneliness in a way the typical crowd at this seaside bar dont. They symbolize this my giving each other a piece of that fabric, trading blue for red. The blue and red cloth tangles and mingles in a new way and they're draped in purple, finding a peace.
  6. The Blarney Stone: They return to the bar and the girl he met gets pulled into song and obnoxious drunken partying, the two young protagonists submerged in a loud, crass scene. She plays her usual role in this, though can't help but glance over at her new love. He starts to see her as part of this world, untouchable, so closely associated with this oceanic world of pain for him that he can't handle it. He panics and tries to leave, starting up his messed up car. She runs out to try to stop him but almost lashes out at her, realizing his aversion to this place and these people brings up too much agony, and associating her with that would be unfair to her, and he leaves. Realistically you dont fall in love with someone and run away in one night but it makes a good play.
  7. It's Gonna be Alright: The Boy wanders out, into a warped undersea version of the previous beach scene with his crashed car. He kinda hits an emotional rock bottom after experiencing the first thing he could consider love or companionship and fucking it up, assumedly. He feels broken, and stares out over a deep dark chasm of fish and kelp and shit as he tries to convince himself he did the right thing, staying there all night. Meanwhile, throughout the song, the Girl goes back to her shack, looks at an old ring she keeps in a box, and by the end of the song, while Boy finds himself in the darkest place, she takes the ring and goes out to the beach, seeing a ship approach as she holds it.
  8. The Golden Eel: A majestic Golden Eel appears to the Boy, it comes to him in... a vision? A mental realization? a spiritual awakening? He's face to face with this beautiful creature. Slowly all his red cloth is taken from him. It's wound up by the eel and wrapped around him, turning to his new outfit, the red effect that represents the trauma replaced by a strengthened gold cloth resolve that now accompanies him. The Eel swims away. He wakes up on the beach (we drop the underwater imagery here) and finds the Girl's blue scarf tucked into his jacket, and jumps up and starts running back. (mirroring the scene earlier with him as a child running away on the beach, but this time he's in control, running towards something.) He gets back to the bar and the owners point out to a boat leaving, sailing away. He's just missed her.
  9. Cold Blows the Wind: Meanwhile, we go to the flashback to the Girl, (back to the aquatic imagery from here on out until She Wanted to Leave.) before her facial disfiguration, a montage of her being courted by some other fish sailor man. He's wearing bright cobalt blue. They're sailing together with a crew, and they're very close, eventually him proposing and giving her a ring. Immediately after, their ship gets hit by a cannonball and there's a big battle with another ship. Everything's on fire, she gets injured, and her love dies, as he hands her his bloodstained blue scarf. Later, she makes him a grave, and is wearing the ring still, eventually finding that same seaside bar. She starts working there, all the men there draped in blue fabric, reminding her of her pain. Present day, we see her on a boat, holding the Red scarf. She takes the ring and throws it into the water.
  10. Pink Eye: The Boy, renewed with zest and energy to go find the Girl, works on his "Car", making a wild looking boat. He says goodbye to his mother then he just starts sailing.
  11. Waving my Dick in the Wind: Fun upbeat montage. He sails around, showing people the scarf, and every time he meets some new wild sea person, they point, as if they're slowly leading him to her. He grows a beard, becomes a captain, slowly picking up a colorful crew of people helping him. By this point he's fully embraced the red, but wears that blue scarf everywhere. He sails his wild Chevy boat around. Song culminates in ol "Jimmy Wilson" doing a crazy tap dance, and at the end, informing the Boy about the woman, and showing him a picture of her and her Child (without and eye).
  12. Buckingham Green: (This is my favorite song on the album) We go back to the girl being born, living with her mother somewhere. Lets say the child is missing one eye rather than both, half her face disfigured. Her mother tries to protect her, perhaps too much from judgmental eyes, telling her stories, raising her kindly, but one day she opens her (supposedly) missing eye and it shines gold, and they decide to hide it. Meanwhile, The Boy braves a fierce storm, following a golden glow on the horizon towards where the Girl and the Child are, even helped through the worst of the storm by the Mollusk (Hell yeah). Eventually he arrives and meets the child, and there's a big dramatic ass reunion scene with the Boy, the Girl and the mollusk and all the fish people. The Boy and the Girl wrap their scarves together and put them around the girl, and the scarves transform into a golden one, symbolizing the Boy's commitment to love his child and break a cycle of neglect, and the Girl's closure, being able to move on from her lost love and onto this new family. (or something, idk) The girl opens that other eye and it glows gold again. and The Golden Eel bursts out of the Mollusk as everyone celebrates. The Boy and Girl get their new Opalescent Mollusk outfits and everyone gets hype. Bring in Boy's mom too, fuck it. How all this is supposed to happen in 3:18 i dont know but that's for the director to figure out.
  13. Ocean man: Exactly as you described. No fucking notes. Hype ending. Maybe this part starts with the Eel haha.
  14. She Wanted to leave: Now the girl is older. The story of course takes a somber turn where, a tale as old as time, a sailor comes along and woos the young lady. The Boy dips back into his trauma a little bit, swearing revenge, practically begging his girl to stay, going through the throes of a parent watching his child grow up and leave him behind. She obviously refuses, following her new life and her new path, apart from him. Not as heartlessly as he'd like to imagine though. Its melodramatic.
14b. Dancing in the Show reprise: This time though, instead of being alone in his pain, his mother and wife can be there to hold his hand, pick him up, and wave goodbye to the sailors' ship together as it leaves for sea. She waves back happily from the deck. Its a sad departure but doesn't have to be a hopeless goodbye like the ones the characters felt in their youth. It can end with the three of them sitting on the beach together and then settling back into their home, the red and blue and gold scarves are hung up somewhere on the roof of something as the sea breeze blows through them.
I don't know who you are but I'm really glad your interpretation touched me in the way that it did. Whoever you are I hope you're having a good life, and rock on.
submitted by TrevorVerges to ween [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 20:33 Competitive_Loss1528 Never dating in work place anymore

Never dating in office. or dating in general.
So put the long story short ( I will any details required in comments )
I have had a bad break up 4 yrs back and decided against relationships in general until 1 khadoos manager joined our office ( different team but interlinked with us functionally ) and he is obviously khadoos ( Everyone hates him and he hated everyone ) lo n behold guess who fell for eachother?
I have no idea why i thought it was good idea..he checked every point in the list that i DIDN'T want in a guy and I had quite an issue with everything he did and then I met a guy ( later turned out to be jerk in disguise ) and he was exactly how I wanted a guy to be .. too good to be perfect and My parents thought he was great too so my knee jerk reaction to a bad fight with khadoos was to start talking to my perfect guy ( I was still talking to khadoos and he knew the life update ) recently the new relation ended in few weeks since it was decided on my checklist and not feelings. This somehow made Khadoos think we are meant to be etc etc but this made me absolutely aversive to relationships and I can't be jumping from 1 guy to another... I was still on speaking terms but one day he just pushed me to get serious, married and move abroad and I just decided I am wasting his time ( though i told him I am absolutely done with relations ) I didn't wanted to give him any hope what so ever and decided to hard stop any means of communication.
2 months later, this man has become my living nightmare... raise escalations day in and out with my manger on me and point out any small thing I did as a grave issue. I am planning on putting down my papers tomorrow because i cant deal with this anymore.
He always joked how either of us should quit this job cz everybody thinks we don't like eachother, but it has come to a point where I have to quit because of him. I am just planning on sending him a ' you win' message on my last day.
It's funny bcs I was just missing him since 3 days and universe said girl this is the person I saved you from.
To the future commenters, please dont shame me.. mental health is at an all time low. Anyone who gets up and say POSH lagao cz this is revenge of you rejecting the guy. This is the guy I once respected and I understand the actions are from pain. even if he was a bad person, I wouldn't wanna fight with the beast, hence the message you win on last day to satisfy his ego and hopefully he stops bothering me
submitted by Competitive_Loss1528 to TwoXIndia [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 20:32 liveliestsoul Calorie estimate for this “discada” burrito?

Calorie estimate for this “discada” burrito?
Hi all thank you in advance for your help. My coworker was selling homemade burritos today & I decided to buy one for lunch.
My estimate is this, using myfitnesspal entries: Tortilla 70g: 166 cal 3/4 cup of ground beef, cooked: 315 1/2 of a Winnie : 60 cal Slice of bologna: 90 cal 1/2 link of chorizo: 45 cal Which is a total of 676 calories.
I think the ground beef might be a little overestimated because the burrito didn’t have a huge amount of filling at all, but what do you guys think? Thanks again.
Sorry if the picture is not the best, I tried to take it discreetly in the break room lol
submitted by liveliestsoul to CICO [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 20:32 1jjwrld Will her and I get back together one last time? Is this relationship reconcilable/redeemable after me messing up so many times? Is this really permanent or not? Did she just speak out of emotion or did she mean all that she said? Will Time and Space help? What advice can you give

TL;DR : (M18) turning 19 in August and (F20) This is our 3rd time breaking up along with our 2nd cancelled engagement with plenty of separations and rekindling throughout our entire 4+ years knowing eachother. We’ve done a lot of growing up together as well as apart and over the years we’ve both done eachother wrong but we’ve also done so so so much for eachother as well. However, it was always me who was less mature and messing up more. I recently messed up once again and in a state of high emotion on both sides, she was fed up and said We were never getting back together. Will I ever get one last chance with her?
Please, I miss her so much and I’m willing to do anything just for one final chance. I love her and I’m IN love with her with all my heart and soul bro. I am extremely attached, connected, and emotionally invested in this girl and we have been through so much together. I desire(more than anything else in the world) a future with her.
For more context:
Our first time breaking up, I had just turned 15 and she was 16. Her and I barely even dated for a couple months before I had indirectly and immaturely broken up with her by leaving it “upto her” because of me wanting to talk to other girls, but her and I still ended up talking and being flirtatious anyway. But then we had separated because of me getting my phone taken away for months. She had started talking to someone else who was MUCH MUCH older than her and was grooming hevery toxic to her but out of strange obligation, she stayed with him anyway although she really just wanted to be with me. Her and I still remained as close as ever although she had to turn me down twice when I wanted to rekindle things. Later on, I had got my phone back and as we entered into the next school year( she turned 17 and I turned 16) we grew closer and closer and feelings developed stronger and stronger meanwhile her relationship with him was getting worse and worse and they were having multiple breakups as well. She even at one point expressed to me that she was on the verge of breaking up with him and very bluntly hinted at as well as indirectly told me she wanted to leave him for me. But ultimately after she knew that my hopes were all up and everything she ended up just choosing him over me anyway and leaving me hanging. a couple months afterwards she posting vulgar things on social media with the caption “I’ll suck my man d#%k fr” or something along those lines. That’s when I fully moved on and went on to get in multiple relationships/“situationships” over the course of that year. Until fast forward to November 2023, she comes back and we very very quickly rekindle/get back together. over the course of that year, because of my porn and masturbation addiction we’ve separated as well as had many issues interfering with my attraction of her because of my skewed image of women and interfering with us having proper sex or intimacy without my fetishes being involved. Fast forward to August, I ended up falling into watching porn for almost my entire birthday week behind her back while she was working so hard to eventually bring me gifts on that day which I later confessed to the following month. We separated for 3 days and this is when I finally started taking my walk with the lord seriously.(she began months ahead of me and she was the one that even introduced me to Christianity in the first place)(her entirely family is Christian) 2 months pass and a couple days after I propose to her for the first time and posting about it? a girl I used to talk to had replied to my iG story congratulating me and as we talked and catched up, I fell to temptation once again and ended up saying more than I should have/inappropriate things but by the time I realized what I was doing and ended it. It was too late and I confessed to her immediately. after a couple of days, she took me home from work and broke up with me. We talked about it over text an hour or so later and agreed we would be going no contact for a month, but over that period we constantly broke it(I even indirectly tried killing myself with alcohol and drunk texted her to which she was very sympathetic to and when I ended up blacking out she was terrified and prayed all night over me and even reached out to friends of mine to make sure I was okay.) fast forward, she ends it early and we rekindle. Fast forward to either late March or April 2024, I fall into looking at iG couples art and ecchi aesthetic art aka softcore porn and I confess to her afterwards. She’s initially upset but she stays with me.
Later on down the line I begin to question my faith entirely and my foundation crumbles after following the teachings of fallible men/cult leaders and mainly doing it for her and because I loved hewanted to bond with her and not actually seeking the truth for myself(although I had my moments of genuinely being curious and wanting to discover it for myself.) However, she was still just as firmly rooted in her faith as ever and maturing even more. On the contrary, I grow weak and undisciplined in my flesh, I fall back into bad habits, I stop reading the word, praying, fasting, I isolate myself from fellowship. And as it gets harder and harder to resist my sexual urges and with her unwavering on her boundaries of no sex before marriage and etc. I fell back into masturbation but eventually back into porn as well(softcore stuff again mainly but I slipped into some fetish stuff too) and it was over the course of a couple days again with me feeling very guilty and being afraid to tell heI just wanted to repent of it and be done but she ended up getting dream a about it and asked me about it the very next day to which I was honest with her and confessed. Then after however many minutes go by and her breaking up with me a third time with her saying “We are done.” and “We will see” “Love you, Bye” instead of taking the advice everyone was giving me and giving her time and space from jump. I pressed her, begged/pleaded, and blew up her messages making it worse and aggravating her until she followed up with the next day with telling me “Sure I’ll let you know where we stand”We are never getting back together.”
I panicked and went into a high emotional state myself and went to her house late at night(1 or 2 am), and pressed her even more begging and pleading. But this made it worse as well and she had said “what us? there is no us” “go home” “you did what you did”and etc while pushing me out and slamming the door in my face. She originally only talked to her mother about it but because of my stupid decisions while being emotional I unintentionally involved everyone else in it. Her older sister’s husband went through a very similar situation with the older sister and had offered to talk to me about it along with everyone else. But when I followed up later on that day it created a misunderstanding and I ended up getting blocked by him and her older sister after she texts me on her older sister’s phone saying the same exact hurtful and cold/seemingly detached things and after begging and pleading to call, we did but it only made it that much worse. I tried to explain my side of things the best I could while being highly emotional but she didn’t want to hear any of it and proceeded to say even more hurtful, cold, seemingly, detached things, cussed me out, then hung up in my face and blocked me. This whole breakup was very messy and happened over the course of barely 3 days.
I’m still in contact with her mom and I recently contacted her dad as well(parents are divorced) and he had told me she never even mentioned anything to him about it which goes to show I made things worse/unnecessarily involved other people in it that otherwise might not have been involved.
Now I’m giving her proper time and space but I’m still extremely anxious/uncertain about where things will go from here.
(I ask that you be honest but also open minded/considerate in responses please, this all happened over the span of a couple of days and I’m still very fresh in the grieving process)
What do you all think about this situation? (I especially want to hear from a female perspective)
submitted by 1jjwrld to relationships_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 20:31 Choice_Upstairs4576 I (28F) do not feel loved or supported by my bf (31M) of five years. Do I keep trying to communicate or cut my losses?

My (28F) boyfriend (31M) and I have been together 5.5 years, lived together for almost four of those years.
Bf is not a romantic type. He likes to get people gifts whenever he feels like or finds something for them and dislikes/ignores societal constructs for gift giving like birthdays and holidays.
He’s never planned a date or a vacation for us. Around the house he does zero cleaning or cooking; his chores are to take out the trash and cut the grass, both of which he waits as long as he possibly can to do (sometimes longer). He often makes plans with his friends on the weekends without telling me and is gone for half the day or more. He hates cell phones so he doesn’t charge his regularly and it happens more often than not that his phone will die while he’s with his friends and doesn’t come home until 1-2 am.
I’ve tried expressing to him for about six months that I feel unsupported and unloved and that I need more quality time, communication, and help around the house. He says he’ll try to do better but then never does. He’s got some serious depression and anxiety which I try to be aware of — I can’t start an emotional conversation the night before he works or he’ll not go into work and sleep all day.
About a month ago I started feeling very distant from him. He came home one night (about four hours after he said he’d be home and his phone had been dead so I wasn’t able to reach him) and I asked him where he’d been and if there was any reason he could think of why I’ve been feeling this distance. After a lot of arguing, I asked to look through his phone. He denied, which of course made me more suspicious. Eventually he agreed and I found deleted text messages between him and a female friend/ex of his. They had hung out at her house around the time I started feeling distant. On that night he lied to me saying he was with his male friend and turned off his phone so I couldn’t see his location, claiming it died.
He’s known this girl since grade school and they briefly dated right before we got together. He’s lied about hanging out with her in the past and I forgave him but made very clear rules that he has to tell me they’re hanging out BEFORE they hang out and they can’t hang out alone at her place.
When I found out he lied I wanted to break up. I’ve given him so many chances and been very clear in my expectations. I still am not sure if I can forgive the deception. I gave him the option of breaking up or following strict rules and making changes for our relationship moving forward, including that he is supposed to help around the house, download Life360 so we can track each other, and block the girl and not hang out with her at all. We’re also supposed to have a weekly check in to talk about our feelings.
This was two and a half weeks ago and nothing has changed. He blocked her and downloaded the app after I reminded him multiple times (still hasn’t logged into the app so it’s useless) but has not lifted a finger or done anything to attempt to make me feel loved or supported. He even had a perfect opportunity when my car was having issues and it was two easy things he’s more than capable of doing but he acted like it was a huge inconvenience for him to fix and I ended up going to a mechanic.
Is it worth continuing to try to get him to see my needs? Or has he shown me what he thinks of me and this relationship and I just need to get out now before I waste any more time?
submitted by Choice_Upstairs4576 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 20:31 IMainYasu0 Roommate is unsettled by girlfriend staying over a couple days a week because we share a bathroom

Not sure how to solve this problem since my roommate and I split a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment. I recently got a gf and she stays over like 3-4 days a week. I understand that is a significant number of days, and it is a valid concern if utilities are going up because so.
However, my roommate is not even worried about utilities and so, instead his main concern is that a girl would be using the same bathroom as us and he feels like it is unhygenic/weird to be using the same bathroom as a girl. I also understand this is a personal preference, but at the same time, my gf's living situation is a bit harder for me to stay over which is why she stays over at mine more often. She stays in my room 95% of the time, other than coming in/out of the house and using the bathroom.
I've tried to minimize all possiblities of weirdness for him but its not like I can ask my gf to pee in a bucket or something so the bathroom is the one thing that has to be shared.
How should I approach this situation? Backing off seems like the only option here but as another tenant in this apt, I just feel like having a girlfriend over for 3-4 days a week isn't unreasonable if they barely impacting the overall apartment.
submitted by IMainYasu0 to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 20:31 Competitive_Loss1528 Never dating in office. or dating in general.

So put the long story short ( I will any details required in comments )
I have had a bad break up 4 yrs back and decided against relationships in general until 1 khadoos manager joined our office ( different team but interlinked with us functionally ) and he is obviously khadoos ( Everyone hates him and he hated everyone ) lo n behold guess who fell for eachother?
I have no idea why i thought it was good idea it checked every list point that i DIDN'T want in a guy and I had quite an issue with everything he did and then I met a guy ( later turned out to be jerk in disguise ) and he was recently how I wanted a guy to be .. too good to be perfect and My parents he was great too so my knee jerk reaction to a bad fight with khadoos was to start talking to my perfect guy ( I was still talking to khadoos and he knew the life update ) recently the new relation ended in few weeks since it was decided on my checklist and not feelings. This somehow made Khadoos think we are meant to be etc etc but this made me absolutely aversive to relationships and I can't be jumping from 1 guy to another... I was still on speaking terms but one day he just pushed me to get serious, married and move abroad and I just decided I am wasting his time ( though i told him I am absolutely done with relations ) I didn't wanted to give him any hope what do ever and decided to hard stop any means of communication.
2 months later, this man has become my living nightmare... raise escalations day in and out with my manger on me and point out any small thing I did as a grave issue. I am planning on putting down my papers tomorrow because i cant deal with anymore.
He always joked how either of us should quit this job cz everybody thinks we don't like eachother, but it has come to a point where I have to quit because of him. I am just planning on sending him a ' you win' message on my last day.
It's funny bcs I was just missing him since 3 days and universe said girl this is the person I saved you from.
To the future commenters, please shame me mental health is at an all time low. Anyone who gets up and say POSH lagao cz this is revenge of you rejecting the guy. This is guy I once respected and I understand the actions are from pain. even if he was a bad person, I wouldn't wanna fight with the beast, hence the message you win on last day to satisfy his ego and hopefully he stops bothering me
submitted by Competitive_Loss1528 to india [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 20:31 El_Ferminator Should I get Back at my Sister?

We are a Family of 5 siblings me being the oldest and everyone a year apart from each other.. the middle one (a girl) was adopted , she is technically our first cousin, my Dad brought her in at the age of 4 from another country because she was being neglected and had Turberculosis, (essentially saved her life) .. we grew up together and treated her like one of our own (atleast from my point of view) we had a good childhood, lots of playtime, lots of fights (like normal kids fight) and lots of church (religious catholic family)
Our mother then passes away from Cancer when I was 15 devastating all of us.. we had just moved 6 months prior to her passing and changing schools was not an easy transition for none of us. (Something to note was that when she was 8years old her appendix burst and had an emergency surgery, the fluid spread all over her stomach and ovaries ruining them and causing her not to be able to have kids)
she then starts misbehaving at around 15, drinking underaged and going out with boys disrespecting the house constantly (my other 2 sisters in the other hand were straight A validectorian students).. this bad behavior continues all throughout her twenties, having dozens of so-called boyfriends and girlfriends and a bunch of drug abuse..
Thought out all this time she was in and out of our lives only showing up every two to Three years after a break up or financial hardship.. we always took her in because we always saw her as our own.
At 33 She then meets this older man of a different race (we’re Latino he is White) recently divorced and very well off, he too cannot have kids either, so a match made in heaven, she then starts inviting us siblings over to his house where she had moved into and throwing parties for us.. note that we grew up poor so all these lavish things were a bit new and weird to get used to.. but it didn’t matter, we went because of our sister and she was happy.
At this point I’m married with two kids another on the way, my brother is 34 single no kids running a business and the other sisters also unmarried no kids working on their careers .. and this adopted one with the rich dude .. we got along well and I was very fond of this new boyfriend.. I did what I could to make a good impression and show that her family supported her.
One day she calls in all the women (sisters, my wife and a couple of her friends) to start planning her wedding.. at that point there was no official engagement, so I assumed that was it..
This is when things get crazy
We threw a baby shower for my wife where they attended and it was a great time we had lots of fun and then they mentioned that they were gonna do a smaller wedding, a destination wedding as well to accommodate some of his family.. I was like “great! That works out for everybody!”
The following week after the baby shower It was brought to my attention that something was wrong with my sister (engaged one) that she was calling everyone out on Instagram.. she had posted a picture of her official engagement ring and was livid that none of us congratulated her and that we didn’t care.. she then went off saying private stuff publicly and bad mouthing our dead mother .. we tried to reach out to her to get together in person or talk on the phone but she wouldn’t do that.. she kept going digging skeletons out of the closet and telling everybody about it.
She then proceeded to get my dad (now remarried) and two of my uncles to go to Her house and cry her eyes out to them about her childhood trauma and in the process keep bashing our dead mother and saying a huge secret from one of the youngest sister she had sweared to take to the grave.. (little sister had aborted a child and told adopted sister about it) huge betrayal if you ask me.. so now the whole Catholic family knows about this
She then tells us siblings to fk off outta her life, makes some petty insults about her being rich and us poor, all without meeting in person.. behind her keyboard/phone.. she says she has my dad on her side and that’s all the matters because he is going to walk her down the isle.. blocks all of us siblings.
I WANT TO RUIN HER WEDDING , out of the disrespect and betrayal she did to my family
What should I do?
submitted by El_Ferminator to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 20:27 DIY_Forever Aquila X3 series owners, particularly the X3 Max. Proximity Sensor replacement

Aquila X3 series owners, particularly the X3 Max. Proximity Sensor replacement
If you have an Aquila X3 Series, with the auto bed leveling system, you might want to copy / bookmark this post somehow. I am going to discuss the all too common problem of broken or at least overly tight wires into the OEM proximity sensor for the Auto Bed Leveling system, and what to use and how to fix it. I am open to better / easier ways of fixing this, but I am trying to go for a full on proper fix, not a bubble gum and duct tape approach.
So my new a week ago Aquila X3 Max was delivered with a bad sensor, or more specifically the sensor was installed so tightly the wires going into the sensor were pulled and not making good contact all the time.
So the symptom I had was pretty straight forward. The hot end and Z axis bar or whatever you would call it, upon power up would simply raise up about 4cm or so, auto home, same thing, auto level, would just say auto level completed. Nothing was working right, and no light on the sensor at all. Bit giveaway we have a problem.
I am able to futz with it to get it working, but that is not a proper fix. However since this is a new machine, I do not want to take any actions that might invalidate the warranty, and I have it rigged now so that it works and has since about Saturday (4 days after getting, setting up and testing the machine). I have so far gotten 4 successful prints out of it (Raspberry Pi 5 / Pimoroni NVME base cases) and aside from I can't figure out how to get PETG to stick to the build plate (PEI) I think we are all good.I may put off repair until it completely goes toes up again.
How I got it working again at least temporarily.
In my case, I noted the sensor wiring was installed WAY too tightly and once the sensor was unbolted and the tension came off the cable it lit right up. I snipped the zip tie holding the wiring bundle to the hot end carriage and then just sort of back pulled a couple of MM of cable, reinstalled the sensor, tested again, still lights up, put the cover back on, no more light, no function, take the cover off, and pull a bit more of the wiring in, giving it a slight curve into the sensor. Light comes back on, put the housing back on with it powered up, light stays on, screwed the housing back together fully. Light stays on. and then ran an auto home / auto level and it worked well, although the Z offset is kind of high and requires a goodly amount of futzing once the auto level is done. I typically have to set Z offset to -1.20 or so. That sensor is NOT far enough away from the bed but I can work with this.
It IS possible that the excessively tight pull on the wires at the sensor were pulling things out of contact in the sensor, and relieving this stress actually fixed the problem, but if not, a proper repair would be to replace the sensor and wire.
Unfortunately according to Voxelab support they do not have the sensor for the X3 Max in inventory, and a cursory review online shows that this issue and lack of inventory also effects the X3, and X3 Plus models.
Someone here linked a sensor on I think it was Alibaba or something like that, for a PL-042N, after looking on line at photos of the actual sensor and verifying what is actually installed, it is a PL-052N.
I honestly have no clue what the differences between the two part numbers is, but might as well go like for like right?
I have included a quick shot of the factory installed sensor, the image has been flipped so the text goes the right way to be able to read it...
After doing some searching for PL-052N online, I found lots of them, but the most affordable after you consider shipping, unless I am going to buy more than about 4 or them, is on Amazon. https://amzn.to/4by4hDe (That is my Amazon Affiliate link, but please look around, I do not post affilate links unless I cannot find a lower price, and if you do find a lower price after shipping PLEASE post a link!)
I have included a quick shot of the replacement item as well.
The replacement unit comes with an over abundance of wire so the added length needed to get to the main board compartment isn't going to be a problem at all.
Now for the debate. I can make this printer work on the OE sensor by futzing with the wire, and just run it until it actually finally poops out, or I can attack the job of replacing it now.
The process is going to be a bit of a pain because of the way the wiring harness is run. The top end of the harness has to MOVE since, well the hot end moves as well as the Z axis blah blah blah, you get it, so my plan of attack is...
Pop the heat shrink off of the ends of the loom cover wherever it may be.
Note the locations, and pop the zip ties off.
Identify the sensor wires which should be in their own sleeve on the bottom of the printer where they come out of the loom.
Unbolt the existing sensor.
Clip the wires going into the existing sensor. Cut back the sleeve about 1" and twist the old and new wires together. A few windings of electrical tape and I should be able to back pull the wire.
CAREFULLY back pull the sensor wire. leaving a small bit of slack / gentle curve under the hot end cover. Zip tie hot end wiring bundle to carriage.
Under the machine, perhaps in the main board compartment, cut wiring harness to original sensor before whatever the component inline motherboard is. Size and cut the wires coming from the new sensor, match them up, get heat shrink tube in place, solder and heat shrink each wire as needed, heat shrink the bundle.
Power up and test, if successful and I don't see why it wouldn't be...
Using heat shrink tape, not sleeve, replace heat shrink on the ends of the loom.
Replace zip ties, clip the flag ends and be a decent human being and using a lighter singe the sharp edges of the cut off so going into to service it again at some point I don't gash my arms or hands up...
So far as the images are concerned, the Heschen marked sensor is the one from Amazon, the NUOQI marked sensor is the one installed in the machine and the ones I see in photos other users have posted having the same issue.
Replacement sensor from Amazon.
Original sensor.
submitted by DIY_Forever to VoxelabAquila [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 20:24 tempmailgenerator Embedding Hyperlinks in RichText Emails via Excel VBA

Enhancing Email Communications with VBA

In today's fast-paced digital world, the ability to automate email communication stands as a pivotal efficiency booster for professionals across various industries. Leveraging Excel's Visual Basic for Applications (VBA) to enhance emails not only streamlines workflow but also opens up a realm of customization options. One such customization is the integration of hyperlinks into RichText email bodies, a feature that significantly enriches the recipient's experience. This functionality enables users to direct recipients to additional resources, websites, or documents with ease, thus enhancing the communicative value of the email.
The process of embedding URLs into RichText emails via Excel VBA involves a blend of programming skill and understanding of email formatting principles. For individuals who regularly rely on Excel for data management and reporting, this capability can transform mundane email updates into dynamic, interactive communications. Beyond mere links, this approach allows for the creation of emails that are not only informative but also engaging, encouraging recipients to explore content further. By mastering this technique, users can elevate their email correspondences to new heights, leveraging the power of Excel VBA to create more impactful and resourceful email interactions.
Command Description
CreateObject("Outlook.Application") Initializes an instance of Outlook Application.
.HTMLBody Sets the HTML body content of the email.
.Display Displays the email draft window.
.To Specifies the recipient's email address.
.Subject Defines the subject of the email.

Delving Deeper into Hyperlink Integration

Embedding hyperlinks into RichText email bodies through Excel VBA offers a unique advantage for users seeking to automate and enrich their email communication. This capability goes beyond merely sending text-based emails; it allows for the inclusion of dynamic content, such as links to websites, online documents, or even email addresses, directly within the body of an email. The process leverages VBA's ability to interact with Outlook, enabling users to programmatically create, format, and send emails. This integration is particularly beneficial for businesses and individuals who regularly distribute newsletters, promotional content, or updates that require recipients to access online resources. By automating the process, users can save significant time and reduce the potential for errors associated with manual email creation.
The practical applications of this technique are wide-ranging. For instance, in a corporate setting, automated emails with embedded hyperlinks can be used to direct employees to internal portals, training materials, or important announcements. In marketing campaigns, hyperlinks can guide recipients toward landing pages, product listings, or survey forms, thereby increasing engagement rates and tracking the effectiveness of promotional efforts. Moreover, this approach enhances the user experience by providing immediate access to relevant online content. It's important to note, however, that while embedding hyperlinks adds value to emails, it should be done judiciously to avoid overwhelming recipients or triggering spam filters. Ultimately, the integration of hyperlinks into RichText emails via Excel VBA is a powerful tool that, when used appropriately, can significantly enhance the effectiveness of email communication.

Creating RichText Emails with Hyperlinks in Excel VBA

VBA in Excel
Dim outlookApp As Object Set outlookApp = CreateObject("Outlook.Application") Dim mail As Object Set mail = outlookApp.CreateItem(0) With mail .To = "recipient@example.com" .Subject = "Check out this link!" .HTMLBody = "Hello, please visit our website." .Display End With 

Advanced Techniques in Email Automation

At the heart of automating RichText emails with Excel VBA lies the objective to streamline communication processes, making them more efficient and effective. This advanced technique is not just about sending emails but about creating a sophisticated email experience that can include formatted text, images, and crucially, hyperlinks. Such emails have a higher engagement rate because they provide a rich user experience and direct links to additional resources or actions. This method significantly benefits marketers, HR professionals, and project managers who need to communicate complex information and actions in a clear and accessible manner. By automating these processes, users can ensure consistent quality and tone in their communications, while also saving time that would otherwise be spent on manual tasks.
The flexibility of Excel VBA allows for customization that can cater to a wide range of scenarios, from simple notifications to complex newsletters with multiple links. This capability is particularly useful for sending bulk emails that are personalized for each recipient. Imagine sending out a company-wide announcement with links personalized to direct each employee to their specific documents or dashboards. Such personalized automation can dramatically increase the relevance and effectiveness of the communications, thereby enhancing engagement and action. However, it's important to navigate these advanced techniques with an understanding of email and web standards to ensure deliverability and to avoid spam filters, making this a skill set that combines technical prowess with strategic communication planning.

Frequently Asked Questions on Excel VBA Email Automation

  1. Question: Can Excel VBA send emails with attachments?
  2. Answer: Yes, Excel VBA can automate sending emails with attachments using the Outlook Application object.
  3. Question: Is it possible to send emails to multiple recipients using VBA?
  4. Answer: Absolutely, you can send emails to multiple recipients by separating the email addresses with a semicolon in the .To field or by using the .CC and .BCC fields for carbon copy and blind carbon copy recipients.
  5. Question: How can I ensure my automated emails don't end up in the spam folder?
  6. Answer: To avoid the spam folder, ensure your emails have a clear subject line, avoid spam trigger words, and include a plain text version along with the HTML body.
  7. Question: Can I personalize emails sent through Excel VBA automation?
  8. Answer: Yes, by dynamically inserting recipient-specific information into the email body or subject line, you can personalize automated emails sent via Excel VBA.
  9. Question: Are there limitations to the size of email attachments when sending through Excel VBA?
  10. Answer: While VBA itself doesn't impose size limits on attachments, Outlook or your email server might have restrictions on the maximum email size.

Mastering Email Automation with VBA

As we navigate the complexities of digital communication, the ability to automate and personalize emails via Excel VBA presents a significant leap forward in efficiency and effectiveness. This technique, which allows for the embedding of hyperlinks into RichText email bodies, is more than just a technical convenience; it is a strategic tool that can elevate the quality of communication. By automating the process, individuals and organizations can ensure consistent, engaging, and informative messages are delivered, tailored to the specific needs and interests of each recipient. Furthermore, the use of VBA to automate emails fosters a deeper connection with recipients through personalized content, driving higher engagement and action rates. Despite the technicalities involved, the essence of this approach lies in its ability to transform email from a mere communication tool into a powerful medium for engagement and information dissemination. As we continue to seek ways to enhance our digital interactions, the integration of Excel VBA into email communication strategies stands out as a beacon of innovation and effectiveness.
https://www.tempmail.us.com/en/hyperlink/embedding-hyperlinks-in-richtext-emails-via-excel-vba
submitted by tempmailgenerator to MailDevNetwork [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 20:24 IMainYasu0 Roommate is unsettled by girlfriend staying over a couple days a week because we share a bathroom

Not sure how to solve this problem since my roommate and I split a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment. I recently got a gf and she stays over like 3-4 days a week. I understand that is a significant number of days, and it is a valid concern if utilities are going up because so.
However, my roommate is not even worried about utilities and so, instead his main concern is that a girl would be using the same bathroom as us and he feels like it is unhygenic/weird to be using the same bathroom as a girl. I also understand this is a personal preference, but at the same time, my gf's living situation is a bit harder for me to stay over which is why she stays over at mine more often. She stays in my room 95% of the time, other than coming in/out of the house and using the bathroom.
I've tried to minimize all possiblities of weirdness for him but its not like I can ask my gf to pee in a bucket or something so the bathroom is the one thing that has to be shared.
How should I approach this situation? Backing off seems like the only option here but as another tenant in this apt, I just feel like having a girlfriend over for 3-4 days a week isn't unreasonable if they barely impacting the overall apartment.
submitted by IMainYasu0 to roommateproblems [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 20:24 FaleapAK [Online][5e][LGBT/POC/Women Friendly][Sunday 3:30pm PST] In Service of the Empire - an intrigue filled 5e game in a nobledark, post-industrial fantasy setting!

I'll close the post when I'm no longer accepting responses, so feel free to apply even if this is a little old!
I'm hoping for this to become a weekly, long-term game that can see some serious development over time. Expect things to be a bit different from the traditional Tolkienesque adventurer fantasy (though there'll be plenty of action and excitement!); the world of Galrea is my personal 5e setting, designed with an eye towards my strengths as writer and DM! Some big inspirations are Fullmetal Alchemist for themes and handling dark topics, Star Wars for worldbuilding, Fallout New Vegas for intrigue and factions, The Order 1886 for many stylistic and plot elements, and FFVII for getting fantasy elements to work with firearms and an industrial setting. And as for the campaign pitch proper:
For 50 years the elves waged a campaign of subjugation against the human nations of Galrea. The war devastated much of the known world, and saw the rise of many new innovations; well-developed firearms have become the standard ranged weaponry while the armored, hulking, tank-esque constructs known as juggernauts now stalk the battlefields of Galrea. At great cost, through blood and steel, the Osinyan Empire finally broke the elvish invaders - and in turn united two-thirds of the mortal realm under one banner for the first time in history. The Empire is ascendant; a new era of history has begun.
But now, 17 years after the Union, the cracks in this order have become increasingly apparent. The once backwater collection of city-states to the East have reorganized themselves into the Ancian Federation, a rival power capable of effective opposition to the Empire. In the new territories, Osinyan rule has proven unpopular with many, who sometimes even resort to violent insurgencies. All the while the Empire struggles with itself; falling victim to the corruption and internal rivalries that have plagued Osinyan society for nearly as long as history can remember. For all its size, power, and industrial might - the Empire is stretched to the limit.
Within this oversized polity is an organization of exceptional people known as the Imperial Knights; a group your character is expected to be a junior member of, or perhaps simply associated with. For the most part, the Knights do whatever needs to be done to keep the empire running in situations where throwing manpower, metal, or money at a problem isn’t viable. This ranges from monster hunting to espionage to arcane research - even confronting eldritch terrors. Most knights typically specialize in a couple of areas, but the group as a whole are multipurpose enforcers. (The Knights aren't really the traditional, plate-armored kind - the title is more about the nature of their service than it is about a specific role.)
A skilled knight can expect lavish rewards for their service. Riches, land, noble titles, and political capital are common, but it is far from unheard of for an important individual to request more creative favors. The party are not yet full knights, lacking some of the formal authority and informal influence that come with the title - but as initiates they're acknowledged as candidates for the title, should they prove themselves clapable.
But, don't let the above limit your character ideas and backgrounds too much! The Knights have a large amount of freedom in how, exactly, they resolve the situations they are faced with; so long as the problem goes away, their methods needn't conform with traditional Osinyan thinking. (I'm pretty specifically trying to avoid an evil campaign here!) And your character doesn't have to be on board with the whole imperialism thing to have good reason to join; perhaps they might want a measure of social mobility, to use a knight's influence to support unpopular reforms, or simply to stop the bloodshed of a second war. (The one major restriction I have on character motivation is to avoid an outright double-agent type who is expected to backstab the party at some point. I want to make sure everybody can stick together as a cohesive group!)
This campaign is a living world and in many ways a sandbox for the players. In practical terms, while the party is expected to pursue tasks assigned to them, the methods you choose in doing so are entirely up to you, and you'll have increasing opportunities to set your own objectives as your influence grows. All the major people you encounter are probably playing an angle of some kind - you're encouraged to work towards your own ends, too! Don't be afraid to be a driver of the plot in your own right; you'll lose your head in the Empire if you only ever do things you're told. Play your cards right and you might just be able to change the fate of the world.
That’s all the important player buy-in out of the way for now. So, as for some details, I’m wanting one player to round out a group of 4, with the party currently being level 7. (We started at 6, so still quite early in the overall game!) I do have some moderate house rules, the most notable of which is “gritty realism”, though I mostly like it as a pacing tool as I’m not fond of overly much grit nor realism. And if you’d like some basic lore I have written up to skim:
-Here’s some lore on regions of the world: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iuaYmO12DxAHGAOv\_Gnddog8wIJ9dQOpNYQLuyOyMSg/edit?usp=sharing
-And here’s some lore on races and cultures: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zbIcWgB11olDWF3WJ1oqEvuOlfjAXmyh5PyY5UiJg-M/edit?usp=sharing
Feel free to message me here for any questions!
And with that, here’s a link to a player survey I’d like you to fill out: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSctG93invNb8w3TvtgStDISco2EMGoelAV8Aqngh9c-xTZSoA/viewform?usp=sf\_link
I know this one was bit long, so thank you if you’ve stuck with me up till this point! Hope to hear from you!
submitted by FaleapAK to lfg [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 20:22 CreepyEmotion7 On and off for a year, is it worth saving?

Hi all. I’ll try to keep this as short as possible. Basically me & my gf broke up January 2023 after 4 years of being together For pretty much all of 2023 we had this very toxic on and off again relationship. Very toxic. About 2 weeks after she broke up with me I found out she was seeing one of her friends I had actually met a few months prior to this. She told me she just wanted to be on her own so finding this out was shocking. Essentially it was just me fighting for her back and her being extremely cold to me. She would tell me really messed up things , anything you can think of in this situation probably fits besides calling me any names. After about a month I would drive about 4 hours to see her and we would basically be together again. This meet up happened about 4 times. And when I would comeback home she would be extremely cold again. This was the situation for months. I was a hot mess as you could imagine. Her actions were very calculated as well. She was basically seeing two people at the same time. What she did to the other girl was objectively fucked up too but I will only speak for myself. All of this didn’t come out until I was seeing my ex one time and decided to check her phone. We all know how that goes. I talked to the other girl my ex was seeing and compared timelines and yeah… enough said about that. But throughout all this I still stayed. I made excuses for everything and tried to see the brighter side. Stupid I know. Since about end of 2023 till now, we’re trying to work it out and things are “good”. At no point did we ever go no contact which is not good. It’s hard to move past the previous mess that was last year. Sometimes I randomly break down in full on tears thinking about what she put me through. It was very traumatic. Every time I look at her she’s the source of my happiness and disgust. To be fair we’re both changing things that we didn’t like in the past but I can’t get over it. We are also each others first and it’s not necessarily that I didn’t get to try with anyone else it’s more like imagining her doing the same things we did with someone else just gives me major icks. I at least want to take some time off from doing this but I don’t think I can really let go of it ever. I feel like she HAS to be with me and I ruined something new for her? Throughout the mess she kept telling me she didn’t get a true chance with the new girl but my ex always let me back in so how much of that is possibly my fault. If I don’t end up with her in the end I guess I will feel guilty I did all this just to eventually drop it but at the same time I always maintained my love and loyalty while she got to mess around. Not sure how to feel about this, what are your overall thoughts?
submitted by CreepyEmotion7 to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 20:19 One-Nation_Under_God Can Anyone Relate to This?

I’m a step parent of a 15 year old son with a duel diagnosis. I have filled the role of primary father figure for the past 10 years, and it’s been a LONGGGGG ten years. I have questions that I’m hoping you can all help with:
  1. What is the trick to triggering their self pride? My son is extremely childish, and despite our many hours of conversation, presented at every maturity level possible, he openly refuses to move past a 8 year old mentality. He has even embarrassed himself a number of times around his peers, yet it doesn’t phase him. If we embarrass him, that really bothers him, but he could care less if he embarrasses himself.
  2. He has never had a legitimate friend that wanted to spend time with him outside of school, or church, or around town. His own family avoids one on one time with him due to the aggravation of his childish ways and topics that he is obsessed with, like superheroes. I get that we all have our favorite hobbies or fantasies that we like to day dream about, but maturity teaches us that we will fail in life if that is all we want to think about.
  3. He doesn’t hesitate to look you right in the face and lie. Even when you tell him that you already know the truth, he will still insult you with an attempted lie.
  4. He can’t remember what 9+8 equals, but yet he can name almost every superhero, even ones that I have forgotten about. He can describe them, and he can even name the town that they are linked to, yet he can’t remember the name of either neighboring town to where we live, or even the name of the local streets that he rights down when he walks the dog.
  5. He gets written up at least once a month or more for things like being rude to teachers, ignoring teachers, walking away from teachers while receiving instructions or rebuke, telling teachers that they are ugly, etc. We have tried talking to him about it, we have punished him over these incidents, the teachers have talked to him, etc. He will swear that he hears us and understands, but then within a week repeat the offense. Even when we have a fun family game night, cheer for him when he wins, keep it all positive, he will go into school the next day and get in trouble.
We have heard for years that wait for high school, it gets better once they reach high school. Well here we all 8 months through his freshmen year and I am seeing little to no progress. As a step parent it’s hard to put up with his behavior. I don’t buy that he can’t control himself in school, or that he doesn’t understand. I firmly believe that he can and does. He’s not low functioning. He just refuses to grow up and make better choices.
submitted by One-Nation_Under_God to Autism_Parenting [link] [comments]


2024.05.16 20:17 Actual_Competition37 AITA: My best friend completely lost her shit on me and has been stonewalling me and all of our friends for seven days. We live together.

My best friend and I, up until this point, have had a beautiful relationship. Let’s call her Rose. We understand each other as women in a way no one else ever could, and truly I love her to death. We lived in the same city for a year before both moving to slower lifestyles, eventually moving back to the city we love, but together this time! We moved into a shitty apartment with my boyfriend, made do with that for six months, and on May 1 of this year we all moved in to a beautiful home.
Now, I feel like it’s important to mention that my best friend and I both grew up with fathers who are extremely confrontational, even abusive at times. Neither of us respond well to confrontational triggers, but every time we’ve had a disagreement in the past, she’s just left and then we talk about whenever she decides she’s ready.
If you can’t tell already, she’s anxious avoidant, and I’m anxious attachment.
Well, I got invited to a graduation party for one of my friends that my best friend just met for the first time. The graduate friend, we’ll call her Eva, and I have been friends for yeeeeaaars. Longer than me and my best friend have been friends, we just aren’t as close. So this party meant a huge deal to me, since she wasn’t inviting a lot of people and she had things planned for the moment we got there until the moment we left. I asked Eva if I could bring my best friend and my partner, and she said yes! We were all very excited, and I was grateful she was letting me bring extra friends!
Come the day of the party, which we’ve known about for a week now, I ask my best friend if she’s wearing a bathing suit. She says she doesn’t know, so I offer her a couple of my own. Even now, she doesn’t seem very engaged or excited, which is fine, she just got off of work, but I was trying to lift her spirits. She went back and forth with herself on whether she would shower, whether she would wear a bathing suit, whether she would even change. So I let her be in the living room for a while to decide for herself while I went to take a shower.
I got out of the shower probably 15 minutes later and said “Rose, the showers open!” She said “okay!” Got up, went to her room to do what I assumed to be grab a change of clothes or get ready in whatever manner she decided, and then she went back to sit down on the couch. While I’m getting ready, I had to leave my room a couple times to go to the bathroom for things, and each time I left she was just sitting on the couch. Keep in mind, the party starts at 4. It is 3:30 at this point. With an hour drive.
I’m starting to get a little anxious about time, so I asked from the bathroom “Hey are you ready Rose?” And the thing is /I genuinely did not know if she was ready or not/. She had just told me she didn’t know what she would wear, so I didn’t feel uncomfortable asking if she was going to wear what she had on.
She snapped back at me “No?” And something else along the lines of “obviously not” and I started getting more anxious because I wasn’t trying to be rude, I just hate being late. Really bad. And she knows this. I started feeling distressed and I was like “Rose I wasn’t asking to be rude, I just didn’t know.” I then left the bathroom and went to my own room.
She knocks on my door and asks if she can come in. I thought she’d just be getting her purse, but she opened the door and said “Sorry for snapping, but you had an attitude when you asked if I was ready.” I feel confused, because I genuinely didn’t. I was asking because /I didn’t know if she was ready./ I tell her this, and she just starts saying “Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.” WHILE IM TALKING. This drives me insane. My parents used to do it, so I just shut down. The last thing she pointedly says is, “Try considering me.” I have been!!!! I didn’t say this, and not to be harsh, but try considering that you are a guest of a guest, and we’re already late! And you are making no effort to change that.
I sent her a text about how I appreciate the apology but it hurt my feelings that I wasn’t allowed to share my own thoughts in my own room without getting spoken over, and she responded back with:
“Oh girl. No.. I went in there to speak to you. You never grant me an ear when I want to come to you about a boundary and didn’t even let me get to my point before cutting me off. So I wouldn’t let you get the stage after you didn’t want to hear me? But either way I’m not discussing this through text.” This hurt my feelings for one, because the opening line felt demeaning. The part about “getting the stage” was distilling my frustration into something much more performative than what it was, and when I asked her about what boundary she was setting, she said “I’ve just said I won’t discuss this through text and I’m heated and I don’t wanna talk either.”
This is where things start getting explosive. At this point, Rose, who is meant to be coming with us in one car, is not only not ready, but is refusing to engage with either of us. We don’t know if she’s ready, or at this point if she’s coming, and we are already late.
I’ll admit, this next part was on me. She was in her room with her door closed, and through my frustration I started loudly saying “We’re already late!! I hate being late. It’s disrespectful!!”
And then she was like “Then just fucking leave without me!” Fine. I went to her door and said “Are you coming at all?” She says something I can’t understand behind the door, so I said “Rose?!” And she said, with the most anger I’ve ever heard from her, “BITCH. WHAT?”
Absolutely not. I will not be spoken to like that, especially not as an adult. I say this, and she just starts literally targeting me saying “YOU NEVER FUCKING LOOK IN A MIRROR. YOUVE NEVER EVER ACTUALLY FUCKING LOOK AT YOURSELF.” This is so hurtful, because up until this exact point in time, she has never, EVER, made constructive criticism about the things she was saying. If she truly thought that, I wouldn’t have minded her bringing it up to me. But screaming things like that at me in a moment of anger? Absolutely not okay. And then she kept saying things like “I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING LEAVING? WHY DONT YOU JUST FUCKING LEAVE?” Got at least one “FUCK YOU” in there, and other things I can’t even remember because they were so hurtful. However, I don’t think I will ever forget the majority of what she said. It was more than triggering, it hurt.
At 21 years old I haven’t had someone speak to me like that since I lived with my parents.
Yall, it wrecked me bad. I‘ve been so anxious I’ve been hospitalized three times. I’ve thrown up probably over 30 times, and last night I even threw up blood. I doubt she even knows because even though she lives with us, she either goes to her brothers house or she goes in her room and stays there all night. I don’t know how she eats, drinks water, or lets her dog out that she keeps caged up all day just so even HER DOG can’t interact with us. She doesn’t look at my social media, OR our friends social media. She has effectively excommunicated our whole friend group over her own personal issues, that she refuses to communicate.
I debated making this post for so long. I even debated telling our mutuals for days because I didn’t want her not to have her own opportunity to reach out to them. But after four days, she never did. And our closest friend said “no Reddit post will tell you who’s in the wrong. There is no excuse for stonewalling someone for seven entire days.” Which is true. I’m not even religious, and creation according to biblical genesis had already been done by now. This timeline is reaching finality.
I guess my question is, what should I do? I can’t reach out to her saying I want to talk because she’s made it explicitly clear I am not to contact her until SHE is ready, but she has made absolutely no effort to do that. I also don’t know if even want to talk again, because at this point I’m so resentful and I’m not sure what edge could possibly do to rectify that.
Dictionary definition of stonewalling: delay or block (a request, process, or person) by refusing to answer questions or by giving evasive replies. Complete disengagement.
It’s one of the four horsemen of the relationship apocalypse, another being broadly targeted criticisms like “you always,” and “you never,” which she also did.
I’m mostly sad. She is, slowly becoming was, my best friend. Every day she pretends that me or my friends don’t exist I grow more resentment. I haven’t lived a life without her in three years, and now we live together and she’s hurt me beyond repair. Please help with some advice.
TLDR: My best friend irrevocably dented our relationship because of an emotional outburst, followed by cutting me and all my friends off for seven days. We live together. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I want to be friends, every time I see her I want to throw up from anxiety.
submitted by Actual_Competition37 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]


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