It was underwhelming. I did a good job of avoiding most spoilers, didn't watch any promos and such, and what I was spoiled on was, as usual, out of context. It still didn't help. The overall feeling right now is "meh". There were parts I liked and parts I didn't.
Daphne got mentioned a few times, mostly in the context of having been the first diamond or having a loving and passionate marriage. It's very little but it's not like I really expected more.
Edwina apparently made a great match abroad which is enough to keep my Fredwina hopes up.
Hyacinth was a delight in each and every one of her scenes.
Francesca was also interesting to watch. That scene when John calls on her was so cute. And that music sheet move at the end? Be still, my heart.
Every time I saw Cressida, I half-expected her to announce this year's tributes for Hunger Games.
Eloise was kind of meandering throughout the story without much to do.
The Mondrich's storyline looks like it could go interesting places.
Violet's subplot barely started, we shall see how part 2 handles it.
Benedict is similar to Eloise in meandering through the story without much to do.
Colin and Penelope aren't doing it for me. Their romance felt rushed and underdeveloped, both too little and too much at the same time.
Maybe part 2 will improve on things, give a fuller context to the hanging plot threads. For now, I feel no burning desire to watch again.

Hi all, my fiancé and I are getting married next year here in the PH. We’re slowly planning our next steps after that. I would love to hear from anyone who has experienced moving to AU through applying for partner visa onshore. I’ve done a bit of research and it seems this is the fastest way to move there based on our situation.
How was the process for you? I’m also a bit anxious going into the bridging visa - is that process automatic when you submit your partner visa application or was there anything else you needed to do?
Related q as well - I read that overseas marriages can’t be registered in AU but can be legally recognised. What does that entail? Does that mean we need to be married in AU as well?
Would love to hear any tips or even just your stories for my peace of mind 😅 Thank you all in advance!

I will try to write it not too long, but I have too. As someone who is mentally ill, I was trying to find out what is wrong with me, changing medications...but I can see now that I'm not depressed, just sad. And telling it may help me, even if no one will read it. But even I can't tell everything, it's interesting story.
We were almost for 3 years in ldr (37F&M). I was never lucky in love, never could be with someone I loved, even they loved me too. Became a single mother (after 15 years he is crying how stupid he was). I got even married, I was pregnant and quite happy, I tried to make it work, but nothing in the marriage wasn't working. We didn't have anything in common, sex few times a year, then nothing. When I was 34, I was fine and satisfied. I had a great job, good money, looked great, 2 amazing children, accepted that I had to divorce and that I will stay alone because of my previous experinces.
Soon, I met a guy in a facebook group. We just started talking, he seemed to be much younger, so I was relaxed. But we had always a lot to talk about, soon spending whole nights talking. It took few months, until we had realized we felt in love. I was damaged from previous relationships, didn't trust anyone, didn't beleive in love. I was trying to run from it, but it wasn't possible. During the time, I'd found a lot about him, we was using profile of someone else, had very hard childhood (he is from poorer country than me), did bad things as young, had to leave the country to save his life. So much damaged. This caused a lot of hard fights between us of course, but we were able to get over it. And it was going better by the time when many things got clear, we were able to trust each other. Every free moment, we were talking. Often whole nights. We had the same plans for future, the same opinions, we could talk nonstop without being bored. And planned our future together even it was difficult. We met in person after two years and it was amazing. We were like happy married couple. He was so caring for me, so much in love. Even we had such strong desire for each other (and had the same intimate preferences, which was huge win for me), we spent a lot of time walking, drinking and talking for whole nights. And after few days, I had an incident, I broke few bones. I was in terrible pain, but still joking, but he was so scared and shaking, taking all care for me, carrying my handbag in hospital, taking care for everything. We were first time together and for few days when it happened. Many men would be annoyed by this, many wouldn't help so much. I saw that this man was really a treasure.
When I had to leave, it was heartbreaking for us both. I thought I would be able to visit him soon again. But it wasn't possible. He lives in a poor country, not able to go abroad. And I lost my job. I had enough money for long time, but not to travel abroad. I got more depressed, because even as a top qualified, I couldn't find a new job. I still had to live in my ex hb's apartment (I can't move outside the city because of children now). Started drinking too much. But we were going through this all together. Getting rid of alcohol addiction together.
Someone could ask, I had several plans how to do it future. Everything legally, considering my children. There's a solution for everything. I loved him so much and he proved me his incredible love to so many times. But recently, he started to be really desperate. So much missing me. Sometimes begging me to do crazy things like to take children and go to him. But I couldn't do it of course. He wanted me to come to him in certain time soon, but I didn't know if it would be possible. He offered to pay for me and there I may made a mistake, I refused, I wanted to have my own money. I told him it wouldn't be possible probably. I was trying to find a solution, but I couldn't promise anything.
We were still be so in loved and devoted to each other. I don't care about the circumstances and his past, because he had such good heart and loved me so much. He was the first one who told me "I love you" and I could tell him the same. He was such an amazing partner, worth all the effort. He was Orthodox, I'm baptised. But I planned to do it because he wanted to have a wedding in a church and I liked this church. We were even talking about it just few day before we spent night talking, drunk, he was finally able to talk about his pain from his previous life. And suddenly he told me he wanted be a muslim. He find the love of Allah. And how he is the most and like this. I didn't expect it, I was stunned, angry when he was talking that Allah was the most important for him. It was always me. We got in fight. Nothing extraordinary, but the next day I day a very difficult time. I told him sorry for my bad words. I had extremely difficult the whole week, one of most difficult in my life. And he didn't talk to me at all. I needed him, he was the closest person for me. After the week, I tried to talk to him. And it was a disaster. I got a lecture how I was disrespectful to his God (actually not to his God, but to him), he was so awful, arrogant and sniffy. Talked like an ISIS member. It got better in the next days. I saw still love to me in him. I was trying to get used to it, that he became a Muslim, but I didn't want it had any effect on our relationship and future family life. I didn't want to leave him. We had good days, bad days. But it couldn't work. He was still going to be such an arrogant awful person. I tried to be nice to him, but he was behaving like I was annoying him. He isn't the person I loved anymore. He was always loving, with good heart, devoted to me. It was enough for me. But this person doesn't exist anymore. I miss him so much, our love, his smile, his voice, talking with him. He was planning to ask me to marry him this summer. It would be the most beautiful time in my life, I had been dreaming about it, a man I love would ask me to marry him. I miss his face and smile. I saw him last time 3 weeks ago. I miss everything. Him, his and our love. Our time spent together even for long distance. Our future. I lost everything.
I know this person I loved doesn't exist anymore. He is still drinking, doing crazy stuff. But Allah is more worth than me. He showed that I was annoying to him. It's not the person I knew. It's someone totally else. I miss him so much. I know he doesn't exist anymore. But I'm still so sad and desperate for my love.

I hate having to admit this, because I myself am a Blackfyre supporter, having gone on record to defend Bittersteel, as well as fantasize about Bloodraven switching sides in the conflict, but I'm not stupid. I recognize that Daeron II was the King Westeros needed at the time, and Daemon deposing him wouldn't have worked out in the long term.
The main problem with Daemon winning, is that because he would depose Daeron, the agreement the Targaryens had made with Dorne, would've had to be axed, in order to appease the Blackfyres supporters, such as the Peakes. Tons of people weren't eager to have the Dornish become part of Westeros diplomatically, since for hundreds of years, families from the Reach and Stormlands had been killed by the Dornish. I understand the frustration at having to play nice with them after all that death and destruction, however, realistically, marriage was the only way Dorne was ever joining the rest of Westeros. If Aegon and his sisters couldn't do it with dragons, and Daeron I couldn't do it with hostages, it was never going to happen.
So, had Daemon won the throne, the realm would've had to immediately be plunged into yet another war with Dorne, a war that the Blackfyres (as much as I love them), would've lost IMO. Not to mention, the Blackfyres didn't have the support of any of the Great Houses, so they likely would've faced oppositions in their own ranks, not just against the Dornish. With no dragons, the Blackfyres would've never sat the throne peacefully IMO.
The ONLY great House that I think secretly supported the Blackfyres, were the Greyjoys, and that's only because the Blackfyres would've likely allowed them to be independent, which in turn would make permanent enemies of the Lannisters, so that would've been another problem for the Blackfyres.
Long story short, the Blackfyres, unless they had dragons, were never realistically going to take the throne and actually hold it like the Targaryens did. IMO, Daemon should never have rebelled. The Blackfyres would likely still be a very powerful House in modern Westeros, had they just accepted Daeron II as King.

TL;DR: I keep falling for toxic women, particularly ENFJs, and I'm not as attracted to healthier, more balanced women. Seeking insights into why this happens and advice on avoiding limerence towards the wrong people. Have you experienced this with ENFJs? What psychological causes might underlie this behavior? Any techniques, habits, or books to recommend?
Hi everyone! I'm opening this thread because after a few years of dating and actively pursuing girls I've noticed a pattern that doesn't look very positive: I seem to exclusively fall in love with women that are quite toxic and even sociopathic in some cases (an ENTP friend told me once: "the girls you like are usually quite sus lol"), These women have always been xNFJ. At the same time, I'm not so passionately attracted to other women that could be considered healthier and more balanced.
I would really want to understand what the explanation for this phenomenon could be.

• Below I'm giving more context and some reflections that I hope some of you will find useful, but for those who are unwilling to keep reading, I would like to ask you a few questions.
• Have you ever experienced this before (more specifically with ENFJs) and in a recurrent manner
• What do you think are the underlying ultimate psychological causes of this kind of unhealthy behaviour?
• Which techniques, methods, habits have worked for you to avoid becoming limerent towards the wrong person?
• Any books you think are worth recommending (preferably something practical and prescriptive, I already read Love and Limerence, but it was eminently descriptive)?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Conditions to Fall in Love

I've identified these characteristics in all the women I've considered as potential soulmates.

• Attraction towards Fe-proficient individuals. I'm not sure if this is the case for all INTPs. I don't remember having such a liking for xNFJs when I was younger; it seems to have begun after I started treating Extraverted Feeling as an area I really need to improve. I like when people show (an exaggerated) interest in my pastimes and ideas or when they put my needs first (e.g. pouring water in your glass first during a dinner). And I guess it makes sense. In Projection and Personality we can read that we can "idealize the opposite attitude, especially in the opposite sex, making partnerships in order that the partner will play a complementary role for us. Jung commented that this was fairly frequent in marriage and even necessary, but such idealizing biases are just as deluded as the negative biases. Each “attitude-type” projects attributes onto the other that are not rightly his or hers", and that the use of the inferior function can lead one to become "addicted to or infatuated by activities or individuals associated with the function." Personality Cafe's user Entropic wrote an interesting comment about this as well.

This might explain the preference for toxic, unbalanced individuals. A toxic ENFJ would be one that is an Fe-Se loop, which apparently entails being extremely consciuos and responsive to other people's needs and feelings while constantly looking for new stimulating experiences such as doing aerobic sports, partying, or travelling.

• Attraction towards Ni-Se Axis Users. Despite what Socionics proposes, I've never found our duals (ESFJs) attractive at all. Notwithstanding their command of Fe, they appear to me as shallow, uninteresting, and simple-minded (no offense intended, I'm just stating what I perceive). The same for ISFJs; in the last weeks I ran into a very beautiful ISFJ girl a few times, and despite finding her very physically appealing, no infatuation could take place there because her conversation was one-sided, superficial, and ultimately, unfulfilling. On top of that, they (and people in the Si-Ne Axis in general) tend to lack a fondness for touching, which I personally find very interesting in a romantic partner.

I believe these two conditions explain why INFJs and, particularly, ENFJs can be so alluring to me (and perhaps to other INTPs): they tend to have top-notch social skills, are great conversationalists and know how to touch people in the right moment and at the right place to create a sense of connection.

• Importance of physical attractiveness. Infatuation does not happen with every INFJ and ENFJ I encounter. I also need to feel the urge to mix my genes together with those of the other person. I know a slightly older ENFJ girl who is a good friend of an ENTP girl friend of mine Although she displays a lot of behaviours I know I would consider attractive under different conditions, I don't find her hot enough, so the spell does not work out, and I am able to impartially see how unhinged she is.

Why Limerence Keeps Coming Back

• Immature Fi. This is a bit speculative, but I believe if I still feel limerent every so and so despite being 28 it is because of an incapacity to control and structure my own strong emotions, which is the territory of Introverted Feeling (recently, I read a biography of Madame Curie and found super relatable her affair with Paul Langevin, during which she behaved in a complete irrational manner in spite of being over her 40s). There could, of course, be non-personality-type-related reasons (which is what I'm actually trying to find out), but Fi-doms don't seem to experience this state of anxiety that frequently. I discussed this with my ISFP mother, and she admitted feeling "butterflies in her belly" only once in her lifetime, when she was in high school. Never again felt that way, not even with my ENTJ father, but that doesn't prevent her from loving him. I also discussed it with an INFP colleague, and he also said that maybe he felt this way when he was a teenager but has never felt it in his adult relationships. To me that could point to an ability present in Fi-doms to quickly and intuitively learn how to self-adjust in certain situations that caused internal distress in the past. What makes me believe this could be true is that I know that, for example, ENFJs can also fall in love hard and can get depressed after a breakup. Another ENFJ friend of my ENTP girl friend broke up recently with a long-term partner and she seems to have been suffering from melancholy and a sentiment of meaninglessness and loss of direction. She said she has always believed that you need to feel infatuated to love someone, and I believe ENFJs also have Fi in a critical spot.

The Women I Have Fallen in Love With

I want to describe four women I've gotten to know well and who ended up being quite crazy despite having initially awaken very strong feelings in me. I hope to show with that that I'm not the problem and that there is a grounded pattern that involves different types of women that only share their psychological type. I also got infatuated with 2 other ENFJ women, but that was temporarily (after sleeping with one, and after seeing the other in a few social gatherings) and couldn't know them on a deeper level. And I pursued an ENFP an ESFP as well (which, in their way, are also quite proficient with Fe). I'm not including them because the ENFP, although she is very toxic, I met her first online and couldn't see the whole picture, and the ESFP is in fact a decent human being, and we are still friends.

• My ENFJ supervisor (+40). She looked quite well despite her age, and I found interesting the fact that she was independent and presumably hard-working. Thought intensely about her for a month. Then I knew she had cheated on her boyfriend of 3 years with one of my best friends, and then lied to the boyfriend to make him believe it was my friend who was obsessed with her, and manipulated my friend to support her version. Then, when the boyfriend knew the truth, she accused him of being responsible for the situation. She also dated a guy from a LatAm country when she was younger, made him accompany her to her home country in Europe, and asked him to leave because she was bored of him after a month.
• The INFJ who texted me through Instagram (28). She saw me on Tinder, but she is 2 years older, so she didn't appear to me because of the age filter. Then replied to one of my stories. First, she told me she didn't like me because I was too young (she knew that from the beginning). Then, after making out, she didn't want to have a relationship because she said the chances of me leaving the country were too high, and in the end, she would leave the country herself a few months later to pursue a degree that has nothing to do with her original studies.
• The sociopathic ENFJ colleague (31). Met her in a bar and talked for 2 hours; everything fine. A few weeks later, we go to a dinner with other people. After I suggest that all Ethiopian dishes taste the same and after saying that if someone is Hispanic and has a Chinese surname, it is very likely that they are Peruvian, she exhorts me to keep my biases at home, accuses me of breaking social harmony and basically implies in an incredibly aggressive manner that I say racist things. I had to take a 10-minute walk to calm down after that. We were supposed to talk privately so I could explain her why I didn't like that moment, but then she decides a week later to expel me from a work-related group chat without giving any explanation. Never talked again after that.
• The ENFJ without clear ideas (24). Met her a few times through mutual friends and she seemed interested, but then I was told she was in a long-distance relationship. I decided not to pursue her because of that, but even though I knew the fact that she had not mentioned her boyfriend for 6 months was a HUGE red flag, I found her super interesting. Confessed my feelings to her and asked her to tell me if I had 0 chances so I could move on; her reply: "you should act as if you had 0 chances." Went on 2 more dates, but then she got incredibly emotional because of a discussion we had on nature vs. nurture stuff (it had been quite amusing for me, only realized she was triggered when her hands started literally shaking), sent me the longest text message I ever received in my life describing me as a soulless monster, and asked me for "time, space and boundaries" before we could meet again. Didn't hear about her in almost 2 months, then she apologized and proposed to meet again, but that never materialized.

If you made it until the end, thanks for your time. I hope you enjoyed and also hope to read you in the comments 😊

TL;DR: I keep falling for toxic women, particularly ENFJs, and I'm not as attracted to healthier, more balanced women. Seeking insights into why this happens and advice on avoiding limerence towards the wrong people. Have you experienced this with ENFJs? What psychological causes might underlie this behavior? Any techniques, habits, or books to recommend?
Hi everyone! I'm opening this thread because after a few years of dating and actively pursuing girls I've noticed a pattern that doesn't look very positive: I seem to exclusively fall in love with women that are quite toxic and even sociopathic in some cases (an ENTP friend told me once: "the girls you like are usually quite sus lol"). These women have always been xNFJ. At the same time, I'm not so passionately attracted to other women that could be considered healthier and more balanced.
I would really want to understand what the explanation for this phenomenon could be.
Below I'm giving more context and some reflections that I hope some of you will find useful, but for those who are unwilling to keep reading, I would like to ask you a few questions.

• Have you ever experienced this before (more specifically with ENFJs) and in a recurrent manner
• What do you think are the underlying ultimate psychological causes of this kind of unhealthy behaviour?
• Which techniques, methods, habits have worked for you to avoid becoming limerent towards the wrong person?
• Any books you think are worth recommending (preferably something practical and prescriptive, I already read Love and Limerence, but it was eminently descriptive)?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Conditions to Fall in Love

I've identified these characteristics in all the women I've considered as potential soulmates.

• Attraction towards Fe-proficient individuals. I'm not sure if this is the case for all INTPs. I don't remember having such a liking for xNFJs when I was younger; it seems to have begun after I started treating Extraverted Feeling as an area I really need to improve. I like when people show (an exaggerated) interest in my pastimes and ideas or when they put my needs first (e.g. pouring water in your glass first during a dinner). And I guess it makes sense. In Projection and Personality we can read that we can "idealize the opposite attitude, especially in the opposite sex, making partnerships in order that the partner will play a complementary role for us. Jung commented that this was fairly frequent in marriage and even necessary, but such idealizing biases are just as deluded as the negative biases. Each “attitude-type” projects attributes onto the other that are not rightly his or hers", and that the use of the inferior function can lead one to become "addicted to or infatuated by activities or individuals associated with the function." Personality Cafe's user Entropic wrote an interesting comment about this as well.

This might explain the preference for toxic, unbalanced individuals. A toxic ENFJ would be one that is an Fe-Se loop, which apparently entails being extremely consciuos and responsive to other people's needs and feelings while constantly looking for new stimulating experiences such as doing aerobic sports, partying, or travelling.

• Attraction towards Ni-Se Axis Users. Despite what Socionics proposes, I've never found our duals (ESFJs) attractive at all. Notwithstanding their command of Fe, they appear to me as shallow, uninteresting, and simple-minded (no offense intended, I'm just stating what I perceive). The same for ISFJs; in the last weeks I ran into a very beautiful ISFJ girl a few times, and despite finding her very physically appealing, no infatuation could take place there because her conversation was one-sided, superficial, and ultimately, unfulfilling. On top of that, they (and people in the Si-Ne Axis in general) tend to lack a fondness for touching, which I personally find very interesting in a romantic partner.

I believe these two conditions explain why INFJs and, particularly, ENFJs can be so alluring to me (and perhaps to other INTPs): they tend to have top-notch social skills, are great conversationalists and know how to touch people in the right moment and at the right place to create a sense of connection.

• Importance of physical attractiveness. Infatuation does not happen with every INFJ and ENFJ I encounter. I also need to feel the urge to mix my genes together with those of the other person. I know a slightly older ENFJ girl who is a good friend of an ENTP girl friend of mine Although she displays a lot of behaviours I know I would consider attractive under different conditions, I don't find her hot enough, so the spell does not work out, and I am able to impartially see how unhinged she is.

Why Limerence Keeps Coming Back

• Immature Fi. This is a bit speculative, but I believe if I still feel limerent every so and so despite being 28 it is because of an incapacity to control and structure my own strong emotions, which is the territory of Introverted Feeling (recently, I read a biography of Madame Curie and found super relatable her affair with Paul Langevin, during which she behaved in a complete irrational manner in spite of being over her 40s). There could, of course, be non-personality-type-related reasons (which is what I'm actually trying to find out), but Fi-doms don't seem to experience this state of anxiety that frequently. I discussed this with my ISFP mother, and she admitted feeling "butterflies in her belly" only once in her lifetime, when she was in high school. Never again felt that way, not even with my ENTJ father, but that doesn't prevent her from loving him. I also discussed it with an INFP colleague, and he also said that maybe he felt this way when he was a teenager but has never felt it in his adult relationships. To me that could point to an ability present in Fi-doms to quickly and intuitively learn how to self-adjust in certain situations that caused internal distress in the past. What makes me believe this could be true is that I know that, for example, ENFJs can also fall in love hard and can get depressed after a breakup. Another ENFJ friend of my ENTP girl friend broke up recently with a long-term partner and she seems to have been suffering from melancholy and a sentiment of meaninglessness and loss of direction. She said she has always believed that you need to feel infatuated to love someone, and I believe ENFJs also have Fi in a critical spot.

The Women I Have Fallen in Love With

I want to describe four women I've gotten to know well and who ended up being quite crazy despite having initially awaken very strong feelings in me. I hope to show with that that I'm not the problem and that there is a grounded pattern that involves different types of women that only share their psychological type. I also got infatuated with 2 other ENFJ women, but that was temporarily (after sleeping with one, and after seeing the other in a few social gatherings) and couldn't know them on a deeper level. And I pursued an ENFP an ESFP as well (which, in their way, are also quite proficient with Fe). I'm not including them because the ENFP, although she is very toxic, I met her first online and couldn't see the whole picture, and the ESFP is in fact a decent human being, and we are still friends.

• My ENFJ supervisor (+40). She looked quite well despite her age, and I found interesting the fact that she was independent and presumably hard-working. Thought intensely about her for a month. Then I knew she had cheated on her boyfriend of 3 years with one of my best friends, and then lied to the boyfriend to make him believe it was my friend who was obsessed with her, and manipulated my friend to support her version. Then, when the boyfriend knew the truth, she accused him of being responsible for the situation. She also dated a guy from a LatAm country when she was younger, made him accompany her to her home country in Europe, and asked him to leave because she was bored of him after a month.
• The INFJ who texted me through Instagram (28). She saw me on Tinder, but she is 2 years older, so she didn't appear to me because of the age filter. Then replied to one of my stories. First, she told me she didn't like me because I was too young (she knew that from the beginning). Then, after making out, she didn't want to have a relationship because she said the chances of me leaving the country were too high, and in the end, she would leave the country herself a few months later to pursue a degree that has nothing to do with her original studies.
• The sociopathic ENFJ colleague (31). Met her in a bar and talked for 2 hours; everything fine. A few weeks later, we go to a dinner with other people. After I suggest that all Ethiopian dishes taste the same and after saying that if someone is Hispanic and has a Chinese surname, it is very likely that they are Peruvian, she exhorts me to keep my biases at home, accuses me of breaking social harmony and basically implies in an incredibly aggressive manner that I say racist things. I had to take a 10-minute walk to calm down after that. We were supposed to talk privately so I could explain her why I didn't like that moment, but then she decides a week later to expel me from a work-related group chat without giving any explanation. Never talked again after that.
• The ENFJ without clear ideas (24). Met her a few times through mutual friends and she seemed interested, but then I was told she was in a long-distance relationship. I decided not to pursue her because of that, but even though I knew the fact that she had not mentioned her boyfriend for 6 months was a HUGE red flag, I found her super interesting. Confessed my feelings to her and asked her to tell me if I had 0 chances so I could move on; her reply: "you should act as if you had 0 chances." Went on 2 more dates, but then she got incredibly emotional because of a discussion we had on nature vs. nurture stuff (it had been quite amusing for me, only realized she was triggered when her hands started literally shaking), sent me the longest text message I ever received in my life describing me as a soulless monster, and asked me for "time, space and boundaries" before we could meet again. Didn't hear about her in almost 2 months, then she apologized and proposed to meet again, but that never materialized.

If you made it until the end, thanks for your time. I hope you enjoyed and also hope to read you in the comments 😊

I (25f - have Bpd and I struggle with boundaries and kind communication as well as black/white thinking) have a work friend (31f) we have worked together on the same team for a few years now and right off the bat we were drawn to each other and chatted and hung out because we had interests in common.
Over the course of the last few years, this friend has tried creating a new persona for themselves. I am all for reinventing yourself or finding more confidence or trying out different interests - and I try to be as supportive as possible when my friends are growing or changing. However, this persona put on by this friend is only ever presented to me. Often referred to her as her “villain era” etc., constantly sending me quotes and images of memes about her being this sort of aggressive, femme fatale Maneater, etc. Which I would be fully in support of, if it didn’t seem so contradictory to how she presents herself to me face-to-face, or to the rest of the world.
She also constantly refer to herself as a girls girl, but will gossip about other women behind their backs, has no other female friends and will backhandedly rubs things that bother me in my face on a regular basis, but in such minor ways, it’s hard to call her out for them. I have a disability and there’s certain things I can’t do and I’ve been asked to not be sent certain content when she is doing those things, she can post whatever she wants, but I don’t want it sent to me directly. And she will continuously do so despite me resetting that boundary over and over again.
For some context here: she comes from a relatively conservative family (as in strict parents) and is a little bit overweight and has always been very self-conscious about those things. SHe has never been in a relationship or anything like that. It’s a little difficult for us to understand each other in certain ways because I am the total opposite and I’m not in the dating world. I married the first person I ever dated and still am married. I try to be fully supportive of her dating life and her experiences while she rags on marriage and shits on it all the time. Whenever she tells me stories about her dating life or life is exaggerated to the 10th°. About how she sleeping with peoples husbands or the all these men are chasing her or she’s so promiscuous and so evil that she just could never fathom settling down, or she went to the prestigious university that I know she did not actually attend etc. etc. all of these stories either seem fictitious or extremely embellished because I know for a fact her life is not actually like this on a regular basis because we live next-door to each other.
And this is become every single day - day and day out and I am always trying to be kind and supportive so I’m always just like “oh that’s great or cool” but I have only so much emotional bandwith left for some thing that I know isn’t true and she was asked directly about a certain experience - she will not keep her story the same when we are around other people. She only presents this sort of person to me and it feels a very emotionally draining and I don’t know how to approach it. Especially because some of the things like backhanded comments about marriage or embellished date stories seem so minor It feels frustrating to try to call them out because they are always brushed off.
Another thing she does is continually tries to push a persona on me that I do not feel is my truth. We have a lot of things in common, which is initially why we became friends, but she does not like anyone being similar to her, and if I like anything that similar to her, she will try to “win” very passive aggressively - she likes XY or Z better than I do, or sending me tons of content, saying that this is how she views me or this reminded her of me when it is the opposite of what my personality and interests are like and even my husband said “it seems like she doesn’t want you to be like her at all and she’s trying to turn you into who she wants you to be”
I struggle a little bit with social cues and approaching things directly or too much of a people pleaser away. Should I even address this with her? I cannot end this friendship because I really need this job and we have to work in the same place and she is very very very sensitive to rejection. But she contacts me on almost every platform every single day, and any slight change in my tone is perceived as rejection by her.
TLDR: I have a friend who is also a coworker that is pretty insecure and is creating false narratives about her own life to get validation through me because I will only be kind and things are so minor that I feel struggle calling her out for them. Not to mention it could severely fuck up my work life. But the passive aggression and lack of genuineness at all is emotionally draining me.

I wrote a post yesterday about an embarrassing situation that happened between my wife's best friend who is currently staying at our house. I was not sure how to bring it up to my wife and you guys really helped me a lot in understanding the urgency of telling my wife. I also got some cool ideas on how to bring up the subject without making it awkward for anyone. For everyone saying Ana was doing it on purpose, I did not agree with it as I am an extremely average looking person and woman don't chase me. However, things since last night have been just crazy and I think I am spiraling a bit. Sorry for the long post.
So, I decided to tell my wife last night as soon as she came home about the incident. I liked the idea of jokingly bringing up casually so that we both can laugh about it and then forget it. Last night, when my wife came home, I made sure I stayed in our bedroom. I asked Ana if she could stay with my kid downstairs. As my wife was changing, I asked her if Ana still borrow her clothes. Ana had to borrow them regularly when she first moved (long story). My wife told me yes and she has told Ana she can take anything from her closet if she needs it. I asked my wife if Ana told her about the funny incident from Friday. My wife said no, and I told her the whole story about how I came home early, and Ana came in the room almost naked to get her clothes, and how embarrassing it was for both of us.
As my wife was listening to this, she completely froze and turned pale. She started murmuring in Spanish (which is her and Ana's native language). I don't understand Spanish really well, but I understood the words "hombre casado" and "orta vez". I asked her if she is ok, and she sat next to me and asked me to explain everything in detail. I just told her it was nothing and she must have not heard me coming in. I was trying to laugh it off, but my wife had water in her eyes. I kept on telling her it was not a big deal, but she kept on asking me for more details. She asked me how Ana talks to me. I told her that Ana barely talks to me since she moved in except few words here and there.
My wife then asked me about three weeks ago when my wife had gone to visit her parents for four days. Ana did not want to go with her and stayed back. I told her that Ana was just acting normal. She or I would cook dinner after I got home from work while the other took care of the kid. The only thing different was Ana generally spending her evening in her room. However, when I was sitting in the living room watching TV after the kids slept, Ana came and sat on the sofa next to me but did not talk to me. I asked her if she wants me to change the channel or stream something she likes, and she just said she wanted to get out of her room. However, she did not flirt with me or do anything unusual. I kept on telling my wife that it was just an accident, and I really did not understand why she reacted so emotionally to it. My wife refused to answer and just said ok and agreed with me. However, she told me I should have told her about the incident sooner and should not keep any secrets from her and gave me a big lecture. I told her that I did not think it was a big deal and thought Ana would tell her, but glad I brought it up.
After dinner, my wife messaged Ana to join us, and she came out. While talking, my wife brought up the incident and told Ana that I mentioned about the incident, and she does not need to feel embarrassed. Such things happen when we are all in the same house and is not a big deal. Ana was firstly taken by surprise, but then told my wife she was just scared to tell her because she thought my wife would judge her because of her past. My wife gave her a stare, and she quickly changed the topic.
At night, I asked my wife what the hell was going on. I told her to please not keep any secrets from me, and if she does not tell me, I will directly ask Ana about what her past has got to do with anything. My first guess was Ana might have had a thing for me before we got married or something. But my wife was very reluctant to answer and kept on trying to change the subject and cuddle. However, I kept being persistent, and she finally spilled the beans.
Apparently, when Ana was in her early 20s, she was in relationship with a married coworker who was twice her age. It was a kind of sugar daddy relationship, and he told her that he was in an open relationship (or that's what Ana told my wife) and he would leave his wife in few years once the kids go to college. This makes sense now, because Ana is very pretty (like Miss USA level), and I never understood why she was single for most of the time I knew her. She eventually ended that relationship and started dating her boyfriend Jim, who turned out to be an abusive asshole. My wife said she suspects Ana was still involved with the older guy while in relationship with Jim, which explains why he kept on accusing her of cheating. That is why my wife became emotional when I told her what Ana did because she was worried Ana has no boundaries regarding married men. My wife said that Ana always looks up to us and praises me for being such a loyal partner and how lucky my wife is. My wife was a worried initially when she brought Ana home, but her actions from the time when my wife was away clearly show that she respects the boundaries, and it must have been an accident. My wife told me she is grateful I let Ana live in our house and observe what a healthy and happy marriage looks like.
Today morning was even more weird. I got up early as I could not sleep well and went down for a cup of coffee. After 5 minutes Ana walked into the kitchen and told me she was relieved my wife did not overreact to Friday incident. She said I am a good husband and gave me a hug and peck on the cheeks. She has never hugged me in the last 6 months. She seemed to be in a happy mood and was making small talk with me while having coffee.
I cannot believe my wife did not tell me such a huge detail about Ana for all these years. It's completely possible she cheated all through the relationship with Jim, and my wife is just covering for her all along. She even kept it a secret from me (after giving me a lecture about how we should never have secrets), and I don't know what else she is hiding. Everything just seems very confusing at this point. I feel angry at my wife for lying to me all these years for Ana. I also now see Ana differently. I am also worried that me trivializing the incident to my wife might have sent wrong signals to Ana.

Work friend uses me for validation constantly
I (25f) have a work friend (31f) we have worked together on the same team for a few years now and right off the bat we were drawn to each other and chatted and hung out because we had interests in common.
Over the course of the last few years, this friend has tried creating a new persona for themselves. I am all for reinventing yourself or finding more confidence or trying out different interests - and I try to be as supportive as possible when my friends are growing or changing. However, this persona put on by this friend is only ever presented to me. Often referred to her as her “villain era” etc., constantly sending me quotes and images of memes about her being this sort of aggressive, femme fatale Maneater, etc. Which I would be fully in support of, if it didn’t seem so contradictory to how she presents herself to me face-to-face, or to the rest of the world.
She also constantly refer to herself as a girls girl, but will gossip about other women behind their backs, has no other female friends and will backhandedly rubs things that bother me in my face on a regular basis, but in such minor ways, it’s hard to call her out for them. I have a disability and there’s certain things I can’t do and I’ve been asked to not be sent certain content when she is doing those things, she can post whatever she wants, but I don’t want it sent to me directly. And she will continuously do so despite me resetting that boundary over and over again.
For some context here: she comes from a relatively conservative family (as in strict parents) and is a little bit overweight and has always been very self-conscious about those things. SHe has never been in a relationship or anything like that. It’s a little difficult for us to understand each other in certain ways because I am the total opposite and I’m not in the dating world. I married the first person I ever dated and still am married. I try to be fully supportive of her dating life and her experiences while she rags on marriage and shits on it all the time. Whenever she tells me stories about her dating life or life is exaggerated to the 10th°. About how she sleeping with peoples husbands or the all these men are chasing her or she’s so promiscuous and so evil that she just could never fathom settling down, or she went to the prestigious university that I know she did not actually attend etc. etc. all of these stories either seem fictitious or extremely embellished because I know for a fact her life is not actually like this on a regular basis because we live next-door to each other.
And this is become every single day - day and day out and I am always trying to be kind and supportive so I’m always just like “oh that’s great or cool” but I have only so much emotional bandwith left for some thing that I know isn’t true and she was asked directly about a certain experience - she will not keep her story the same when we are around other people. She only presents this sort of person to me and it feels a very emotionally draining and I don’t know how to approach it. Especially because some of the things like backhanded comments about marriage or embellished date stories seem so minor It feels frustrating to try to call them out because they are always brushed off.
Another thing she does is continually tries to push a persona on me that I do not feel is my truth. We have a lot of things in common, which is initially why we became friends, but she does not like anyone being similar to her, and if I like anything that similar to her, she will try to “win” very passive aggressively - she likes XY or Z better than I do, or sending me tons of content, saying that this is how she views me or this reminded her of me when it is the opposite of what my personality and interests are like and even my husband said “it seems like she doesn’t want you to be like her at all and she’s trying to turn you into who she wants you to be”
I struggle a little bit with social cues and approaching things directly or too much of a people pleaser away. Should I even address this with her? I cannot end this friendship because I really need this job and we have to work in the same place and she is very very very sensitive to rejection. But she contacts me on almost every platform every single day, and any slight change in my tone is perceived as rejection by her.
TLDR: I have a friend who is also a coworker that is pretty insecure and is creating false narratives about her own life to get validation through me because I will only be kind and things are so minor that I feel struggle calling her out for them. Not to mention it could severely fuck up my work life. But the passive aggression and lack of genuineness at all is emotionally draining me.

I have been debating posting this ever since I became aware of this sub. I've always felt like praying for someone should come from a sincere, genuine, loving place/heart. And that's not where my heart is right now.
I used to pray for my husband while I was pregnant and high risk, would cry and beg God to help us. I prayed when I came home from a c section and wasn't getting the care and help I needed. I basically prayed for him until I couldn't do it from a loving, genuine place anymore. I don't have anybody in my life who I can ask for prayer.
So, I'm reaching out to internet strangers who might find it in their heart to please say a prayer for my family.
Without making this a super long post [as it is a long story], I'll simply ask for prayer for healing of my 2yr old from Type 1 Diabetes/auto immune issues, and for my marriage to be healed/restored so my spouse will return home to be with his wife and kids.
If you'd like more details, feel free to look at my post history.

TL;DR : (M18) turning 19 in August and (F20) This is our 3rd time breaking up along with our 2nd cancelled engagement with plenty of separations and rekindling throughout our entire 4+ years knowing eachother. We’ve done a lot of growing up together as well as apart and over the years we’ve both done eachother wrong but we’ve also done so so so much for eachother as well. However, it was always me who was less mature and messing up more. I recently messed up once again and in a state of high emotion on both sides, she was fed up and said We were never getting back together. Will I ever get one last chance with her?
Please, I miss her so much and I’m willing to do anything just for one final chance. I love her and I’m IN love with her with all my heart and soul bro. I am extremely attached, connected, and emotionally invested in this girl and we have been through so much together. I desire(more than anything else in the world) a future with her.
For more context:
Our first time breaking up, I had just turned 15 and she was 16. Her and I barely even dated for a couple months before I had indirectly and immaturely broken up with her by leaving it “upto her” because of me wanting to talk to other girls, but her and I still ended up talking and being flirtatious anyway. But then we had separated because of me getting my phone taken away for months. She had started talking to someone else who was MUCH MUCH older than her and was grooming hevery toxic to her but out of strange obligation, she stayed with him anyway although she really just wanted to be with me. Her and I still remained as close as ever although she had to turn me down twice when I wanted to rekindle things. Later on, I had got my phone back and as we entered into the next school year( she turned 17 and I turned 16) we grew closer and closer and feelings developed stronger and stronger meanwhile her relationship with him was getting worse and worse and they were having multiple breakups as well. She even at one point expressed to me that she was on the verge of breaking up with him and very bluntly hinted at as well as indirectly told me she wanted to leave him for me. But ultimately after she knew that my hopes were all up and everything she ended up just choosing him over me anyway and leaving me hanging. a couple months afterwards she posting vulgar things on social media with the caption “I’ll suck my man d#%k fr” or something along those lines. That’s when I fully moved on and went on to get in multiple relationships/“situationships” over the course of that year. Until fast forward to November 2023, she comes back and we very very quickly rekindle/get back together. over the course of that year, because of my porn and masturbation addiction we’ve separated as well as had many issues interfering with my attraction of her because of my skewed image of women and interfering with us having proper sex or intimacy without my fetishes being involved. Fast forward to August, I ended up falling into watching porn for almost my entire birthday week behind her back while she was working so hard to eventually bring me gifts on that day which I later confessed to the following month. We separated for 3 days and this is when I finally started taking my walk with the lord seriously.(she began months ahead of me and she was the one that even introduced me to Christianity in the first place)(her entirely family is Christian) 2 months pass and a couple days after I propose to her for the first time and posting about it? a girl I used to talk to had replied to my iG story congratulating me and as we talked and catched up, I fell to temptation once again and ended up saying more than I should have/inappropriate things but by the time I realized what I was doing and ended it. It was too late and I confessed to her immediately. after a couple of days, she took me home from work and broke up with me. We talked about it over text an hour or so later and agreed we would be going no contact for a month, but over that period we constantly broke it(I even indirectly tried killing myself with alcohol and drunk texted her to which she was very sympathetic to and when I ended up blacking out she was terrified and prayed all night over me and even reached out to friends of mine to make sure I was okay.) fast forward, she ends it early and we rekindle. Fast forward to either late March or April 2024, I fall into looking at iG couples art and ecchi aesthetic art aka softcore porn and I confess to her afterwards. She’s initially upset but she stays with me.
Later on down the line I begin to question my faith entirely and my foundation crumbles after following the teachings of fallible men/cult leaders and mainly doing it for her and because I loved hewanted to bond with her and not actually seeking the truth for myself(although I had my moments of genuinely being curious and wanting to discover it for myself.) However, she was still just as firmly rooted in her faith as ever and maturing even more. On the contrary, I grow weak and undisciplined in my flesh, I fall back into bad habits, I stop reading the word, praying, fasting, I isolate myself from fellowship. And as it gets harder and harder to resist my sexual urges and with her unwavering on her boundaries of no sex before marriage and etc. I fell back into masturbation but eventually back into porn as well(softcore stuff again mainly but I slipped into some fetish stuff too) and it was over the course of a couple days again with me feeling very guilty and being afraid to tell heI just wanted to repent of it and be done but she ended up getting dream a about it and asked me about it the very next day to which I was honest with her and confessed. Then after however many minutes go by and her breaking up with me a third time with her saying “We are done.” and “We will see” “Love you, Bye” instead of taking the advice everyone was giving me and giving her time and space from jump. I pressed her, begged/pleaded, and blew up her messages making it worse and aggravating her until she followed up with the next day with telling me “Sure I’ll let you know where we stand”We are never getting back together.”
I panicked and went into a high emotional state myself and went to her house late at night(1 or 2 am), and pressed her even more begging and pleading. But this made it worse as well and she had said “what us? there is no us” “go home” “you did what you did”and etc while pushing me out and slamming the door in my face. She originally only talked to her mother about it but because of my stupid decisions while being emotional I unintentionally involved everyone else in it. Her older sister’s husband went through a very similar situation with the older sister and had offered to talk to me about it along with everyone else. But when I followed up later on that day it created a misunderstanding and I ended up getting blocked by him and her older sister after she texts me on her older sister’s phone saying the same exact hurtful and cold/seemingly detached things and after begging and pleading to call, we did but it only made it that much worse. I tried to explain my side of things the best I could while being highly emotional but she didn’t want to hear any of it and proceeded to say even more hurtful, cold, seemingly, detached things, cussed me out, then hung up in my face and blocked me. This whole breakup was very messy and happened over the course of barely 3 days.
I’m still in contact with her mom and I recently contacted her dad as well(parents are divorced) and he had told me she never even mentioned anything to him about it which goes to show I made things worse/unnecessarily involved other people in it that otherwise might not have been involved.
Now I’m giving her proper time and space but I’m still extremely anxious/uncertain about where things will go from here.
(I ask that you be honest but also open minded/considerate in responses please, this all happened over the span of a couple of days and I’m still very fresh in the grieving process)
What do you all think about this situation? (I especially want to hear from a female perspective)

Long story short, I am new to dating at 43 at end of my marriage of 6 years. I don't have much experience with dating and there is a lot of good and bad information out there. I haven't really dove into the dating scene other than trying tinder, and FB dating for a few weeks but didn't like it - it seemed women are inundated with messages or just don't really put much effort into it.
I have decided I'd rather meet someone in a more natural way: cold conversations and if there is interest on both sides ask to take her out sometimes and exchange phone numbers. Having a conversation with someone in a less intense setting seems easy to do but I keep bumping into situations where I bump into a woman that is doing her job and she takes my breath away: eyes, smile.. you get the idea.
Two concerns I have with a cold approach is 1. gauging her interest is a challenge because I am aware she is doing her job so I can't really judge any signals fairly and 2. starting with small talk to see if we have anything in common seems out of place in each setting.
The last time I shot my shot: she was a server and I simply asked if I could take her out sometime, she simply said she was taken. I replied that I wasn't surprised and smiled. Needless to say the entire lead up to this was nerve racking because it just felt like such a cold start - no connection other than what any server would be to probably any customer. :/
Today, I was at the dentist to pick up my mouth guard and the woman that greeted me and brought me back had these stunning eyes, great skin and hair and a lovely personality. I joked a little with her about the case it came in but the interaction and time was so short and "business" oriented again: no way to truly gauge if she is just being polite or interested in the slightest.
Now I am not gloating but I am handsome, fit(lift regularly but not a bodybuilder) and I carry myself well. I am also curious about people, love meeting new people and am emotionally intelligent. Unless I am mistaken she actually looked back at me when she walked away - after bring me up to the front desk to schedule my net appointment. This might be irrelevant but during the fitting she did ask me if I wanted to get a cleaning today, I should have asked her if she was the hygienist!
Anyway, after leaving I kicked myself: why didn't I ask her for her number or if I could take her out sometime!? I realized it just feels awkward in these situations to me. Business as usual going on and I know she has things to do. But if she really did check me out then what's the harm? I really prefer to talk first and see if there is a connection.. help me see the other side of this ladies!
My question is two fold: 1. do you agree it would be out of place to have a man ask for your number right there in the office, ion the spot - totally cold approach. Would you see it as endearing, creepy or just plain naive? I was thinking: in front of your coworkers(part of me thinks the ladies would be talking about it after you left for sure) 2. what are guys options? It seems stalker(ish) to try to connect with her another way, not even sure how that would happen. I like the idea of naturally, I bump into her at the office again but there are like 10 women that work in her role, I might not see her again.
The romantic in me wants to call up and ask her name from the receptionist or go so far as to even tell them I have another question for her and just ask her over the phone: admitting I thought she was cute and hope to connect with her outside of work.
I can take the raw feedback people, go for it.

I (25f) have a work friend (31f) we have worked together on the same team for a few years now and right off the bat we were drawn to each other and chatted and hung out because we had interests in common.
Over the course of the last few years, this friend has tried creating a new persona for themselves. I am all for reinventing yourself or finding more confidence or trying out different interests - and I try to be as supportive as possible when my friends are growing or changing. However, this persona put on by this friend is only ever presented to me. Often referred to her as her “villain era” etc., constantly sending me quotes and images of memes about her being this sort of aggressive, femme fatale Maneater, etc. Which I would be fully in support of, if it didn’t seem so contradictory to how she presents herself to me face-to-face, or to the rest of the world.
She also constantly refer to herself as a girls girl, but will gossip about other women behind their backs, has no other female friends and will backhandedly rubs things that bother me in my face on a regular basis, but in such minor ways, it’s hard to call her out for them. I have a disability and there’s certain things I can’t do and I’ve been asked to not be sent certain content when she is doing those things, she can post whatever she wants, but I don’t want it sent to me directly. And she will continuously do so despite me resetting that boundary over and over again.
For some context here: she comes from a relatively conservative family (as in strict parents) and is a little bit overweight and has always been very self-conscious about those things. SHe has never been in a relationship or anything like that. It’s a little difficult for us to understand each other in certain ways because I am the total opposite and I’m not in the dating world. I married the first person I ever dated and still am married. I try to be fully supportive of her dating life and her experiences while she rags on marriage and shits on it all the time. Whenever she tells me stories about her dating life or life is exaggerated to the 10th°. About how she sleeping with peoples husbands or the all these men are chasing her or she’s so promiscuous and so evil that she just could never fathom settling down, or she went to the prestigious university that I know she did not actually attend etc. etc. all of these stories either seem fictitious or extremely embellished because I know for a fact her life is not actually like this on a regular basis because we live next-door to each other.
And this is become every single day - day and day out and I am always trying to be kind and supportive so I’m always just like “oh that’s great or cool” but I have only so much emotional bandwith left for some thing that I know isn’t true and she was asked directly about a certain experience - she will not keep her story the same when we are around other people. She only presents this sort of person to me and it feels a very emotionally draining and I don’t know how to approach it. Especially because some of the things like backhanded comments about marriage or embellished date stories seem so minor It feels frustrating to try to call them out because they are always brushed off.
Another thing she does is continually tries to push a persona on me that I do not feel is my truth. We have a lot of things in common, which is initially why we became friends, but she does not like anyone being similar to her, and if I like anything that similar to her, she will try to “win” very passive aggressively - she likes XY or Z better than I do, or sending me tons of content, saying that this is how she views me or this reminded her of me when it is the opposite of what my personality and interests are like and even my husband said “it seems like she doesn’t want you to be like her at all and she’s trying to turn you into who she wants you to be”
I struggle a little bit with social cues and approaching things directly or too much of a people pleaser away. Should I even address this with her? I cannot end this friendship because I really need this job and we have to work in the same place and she is very very very sensitive to rejection. But she contacts me on almost every platform every single day, and any slight change in my tone is perceived as rejection by her.
TLDR: I have a friend who is also a coworker that is pretty insecure and is creating false narratives about her own life to get validation through me because I will only be kind and things are so minor that I feel struggle calling her out for them. Not to mention it could severely fuck up my work life. But the passive aggression and lack of genuineness at all is emotionally draining me.

TL;DR : (M18) turning 19 in August and (F20) This is our 3rd time breaking up along with our 2nd cancelled engagement with plenty of separations and rekindling throughout our entire 4+ years knowing eachother. We’ve done a lot of growing up together as well as apart and over the years we’ve both done eachother wrong but we’ve also done so so so much for eachother as well. However, it was always me who was less mature and messing up more. I recently messed up once again and in a state of high emotion on both sides, she was fed up and said We were never getting back together. Will I ever get one last chance with her?
Please, I miss her so much and I’m willing to do anything just for one final chance. I love her and I’m IN love with her with all my heart and soul bro. I am extremely attached, connected, and emotionally invested in this girl and we have been through so much together. I desire(more than anything else in the world) a future with her.
For more context:
Our first time breaking up, I had just turned 15 and she was 16. Her and I barely even dated for a couple months before I had indirectly and immaturely broken up with her by leaving it “upto her” because of me wanting to talk to other girls, but her and I still ended up talking and being flirtatious anyway. But then we had separated because of me getting my phone taken away for months. She had started talking to someone else who was MUCH MUCH older than her and was grooming hevery toxic to her but out of strange obligation, she stayed with him anyway although she really just wanted to be with me. Her and I still remained as close as ever although she had to turn me down twice when I wanted to rekindle things. Later on, I had got my phone back and as we entered into the next school year( she turned 17 and I turned 16) we grew closer and closer and feelings developed stronger and stronger meanwhile her relationship with him was getting worse and worse and they were having multiple breakups as well. She even at one point expressed to me that she was on the verge of breaking up with him and very bluntly hinted at as well as indirectly told me she wanted to leave him for me. But ultimately after she knew that my hopes were all up and everything she ended up just choosing him over me anyway and leaving me hanging. a couple months afterwards she posting vulgar things on social media with the caption “I’ll suck my man d#%k fr” or something along those lines. That’s when I fully moved on and went on to get in multiple relationships/“situationships” over the course of that year. Until fast forward to November 2023, she comes back and we very very quickly rekindle/get back together. over the course of that year, because of my porn and masturbation addiction we’ve separated as well as had many issues interfering with my attraction of her because of my skewed image of women and interfering with us having proper sex or intimacy without my fetishes being involved. Fast forward to August, I ended up falling into watching porn for almost my entire birthday week behind her back while she was working so hard to eventually bring me gifts on that day which I later confessed to the following month. We separated for 3 days and this is when I finally started taking my walk with the lord seriously.(she began months ahead of me and she was the one that even introduced me to Christianity in the first place)(her entirely family is Christian) 2 months pass and a couple days after I propose to her for the first time and posting about it? a girl I used to talk to had replied to my iG story congratulating me and as we talked and catched up, I fell to temptation once again and ended up saying more than I should have/inappropriate things but by the time I realized what I was doing and ended it. It was too late and I confessed to her immediately. after a couple of days, she took me home from work and broke up with me. We talked about it over text an hour or so later and agreed we would be going no contact for a month, but over that period we constantly broke it(I even indirectly tried killing myself with alcohol and drunk texted her to which she was very sympathetic to and when I ended up blacking out she was terrified and prayed all night over me and even reached out to friends of mine to make sure I was okay.) fast forward, she ends it early and we rekindle. Fast forward to either late March or April 2024, I fall into looking at iG couples art and ecchi aesthetic art aka softcore porn and I confess to her afterwards. She’s initially upset but she stays with me.
Later on down the line I begin to question my faith entirely and my foundation crumbles after following the teachings of fallible men/cult leaders and mainly doing it for her and because I loved hewanted to bond with her and not actually seeking the truth for myself(although I had my moments of genuinely being curious and wanting to discover it for myself.) However, she was still just as firmly rooted in her faith as ever and maturing even more. On the contrary, I grow weak and undisciplined in my flesh, I fall back into bad habits, I stop reading the word, praying, fasting, I isolate myself from fellowship. And as it gets harder and harder to resist my sexual urges and with her unwavering on her boundaries of no sex before marriage and etc. I fell back into masturbation but eventually back into porn as well(softcore stuff again mainly but I slipped into some fetish stuff too) and it was over the course of a couple days again with me feeling very guilty and being afraid to tell heI just wanted to repent of it and be done but she ended up getting dream a about it and asked me about it the very next day to which I was honest with her and confessed. Then after however many minutes go by and her breaking up with me a third time with her saying “We are done.” and “We will see” “Love you, Bye” instead of taking the advice everyone was giving me and giving her time and space from jump. I pressed her, begged/pleaded, and blew up her messages making it worse and aggravating her until she followed up with the next day with telling me “Sure I’ll let you know where we stand”We are never getting back together.”
I panicked and went into a high emotional state myself and went to her house late at night(1 or 2 am), and pressed her even more begging and pleading. But this made it worse as well and she had said “what us? there is no us” “go home” “you did what you did”and etc while pushing me out and slamming the door in my face. She originally only talked to her mother about it but because of my stupid decisions while being emotional I unintentionally involved everyone else in it. Her older sister’s husband went through a very similar situation with the older sister and had offered to talk to me about it along with everyone else. But when I followed up later on that day it created a misunderstanding and I ended up getting blocked by him and her older sister after she texts me on her older sister’s phone saying the same exact hurtful and cold/seemingly detached things and after begging and pleading to call, we did but it only made it that much worse. I tried to explain my side of things the best I could while being highly emotional but she didn’t want to hear any of it and proceeded to say even more hurtful, cold, seemingly, detached things, cussed me out, then hung up in my face and blocked me. This whole breakup was very messy and happened over the course of barely 3 days.
I’m still in contact with her mom and I recently contacted her dad as well(parents are divorced) and he had told me she never even mentioned anything to him about it which goes to show I made things worse/unnecessarily involved other people in it that otherwise might not have been involved.
Now I’m giving her proper time and space but I’m still extremely anxious/uncertain about where things will go from here.
(I ask that you be honest but also open minded/considerate in responses please, this all happened over the span of a couple of days and I’m still very fresh in the grieving process)
What do you all think about this situation? (I especially want to hear from a female perspective)

I strongly believe that I am an intriguing person, yet very few people know me very deeply. Online, it is hard to convey because I think most people don’t have the patience or are willing to put in the effort for the pay off, but I do believe I have something to offer if a person is willing to wade through the initial small talk awkwardness. We certainly all want to be loved, but I want to be loved because I fascinate another person. In short, the reason I feel I can make such a claim is my unique worldview and perspective; my personal set of beliefs, ideologies, philosophies, interests and so on are unlike anyone else. I want someone to know me fully and to form a relationship based on that. Of course I want to know you too, but I guess I just have so much to say, good and bad, and need a good listener. Someone who is dying to hear a really good life story. Explained another way, I look at marriages or relationships involving at least one boring person with nothing interesting going on in their mind. I see how those relationships fail and made it a point myself to be nothing like that. So if you are a good listener and want to take a chance at being intrigued, DM me. Feel free to message me with questions or whatever you feel like

Ciao🍋 I'm Elle - 25+, F, 10+ years experience, staunch purple prose hater.
WHAT I WANT TO WRITE:

1. Storyscape’s Titanic

matteo x adele (i’m open to writing either character)
If you don’t know what this is PLEASE GIVE ME A MINUTE OF YOUR TIME
Character A is a valet for a wealthy man. The wealthy man basically saved him from certain poverty by employing him (You have potential, he had said) so Character A feels a twisted sense of loyalty towards him.
Character B is someone who is being blackmailed by the wealthy man. Character B met the wealthy man when they were put in adjacent cells in jail: he promised to bail her out if she did him a small favour. Character B never expected him to follow through, but Character A shows up to bail her out and with instructions from the wealthy man.
The wealthy man wants her to break off the engagement of his wealthy actress aunt/mother. He doesn’t explain why but it’s because her future husband will probably cut him off significantly.
Character B agrees, under the condition that her younger sister can travel with her.
The wealthy man happily agrees - “I’ll pay for everything”, he says.
It doesn’t take long for Character B to realise she made a deal with the devil, and worse: that having her sister with her gave the wealthy man even more leverage to manipulate her.
Character A and Character B and end up spending a lot of time for logistical reasons… and things get intense and complex very fast.
In the original plot, this all happened in the Titanic lol, and I do like the idea of that for many many many reasons. HOWEVER, it’s our story and we can do whatever we want, so we could say it was a whole cruise and they made several stops? Maybe the aunt was on a tour or something and was supposed to get married at the end of the tour?
—------------------
If you know the game, I’d also be curious to explore a CHARLIE x ADELE dynamic, but post-Titanic. Charlie is a steward who befriends Adele, helps her navigate her situation and the two become very close. Adele saved Charlie from certain death against his wishes. Post-Titanic, I’m interested in exploring how he's trying not to hold things against her but is struggling tremendously with guilt, ptsd, and his idealism. I'm more inclined to play Charlie in this one, but I can easily play Adele too.

1. Stories based on stories from the CHOICES APP

Stories I’m interested in exploring:
The Royal Romance - open to writing MC, the prince/king, or “drake”
Perfect Match - open to writing MC, “hayden”, or “damien”
WHAT I EXPECT FROM YOU

• You're 18+. absolutely no minors, please.
• You're willing to jump straight into things - it's the best way to know if we'll be compatible and want the same plots.
• You'll always share your ideas (even if you're hesitant or self-conscious - I'm too, and I always make sure to put in the effort so I fully expect the same from my writing partners).
• You don't hate writing male characters - I greatly enjoy writing both men and women and I can very clearly tell when someone wants to double up. I WILL soft-block immediately.
• You know when to rapid-fire and when to write long descriptive threads and don't care about word counts.
• You'll let me know if you want to drop things. I don't require constant communication, but I value my time - please don't waste it.
• If you reach out to me, please just dive right in and introduce yourself and let me know which ships you're interested in.

WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT FROM ME:

1. I'm a long-term writer. I've been writing some ships for 10 years. So yea, I'm not going anywhere.
2. I care. I truly do care about your characters and our ships. I’m not a nonchalant person.
3. Replies at best every two days, at worst once a week. If I'm busy, might take longer.
4. I don't have triggers so I'm willing to write a lot of things. Respect and communication are key though - also, absolutely no bigotry.
5. Idc about following canon too closely.
6. I love exploring characters in a very realistic way but I WILL conjugate that realism with more gringy elements.

That's it! Thank you for reading and don't forget to say hi if you're interested.

Life is life. One minute it's great and next it's not. The character Forest Gump was somewhat acute when he referred to life being like a box of chocolates. Not a bad metaphor but one has to remember there's a lot of crappy chocolates out there. For those who are interested in the back story I suggest you look into my previous posts. A lot more of this will mank sense. As one may guess they don't show a shining example of life. At least not my life in its current state.
Four and a half months ago my wife of ten years left. She told me she "needed some space". This happened on December 31st. It made a new year's eve to remember. If only I could forget. The next day I drove her to her son's house an hour away and we parted company. On February 12th she left for an area 900 km away. She intended to be there for a month but as far as I know she's still there now. Throughout the entire time (since January 1st) we continued to talk via text and phone calls until late April. For a while it looked like things were slowly getting better and reconciliation was going to happen. I suppose they were perceptions of a hopeful heart.
Towards the end of April she started to talk about friendship and how it's important in a relationship. I agree it is important. I both strongly feel one needs to have a close friendship with their spouse to have a loving relationship and marriage. She then mentioned I need to be open to love again. Even if it wasn't with her. I wasn't sure what she was meaning when she said it but I believe I do now.
She also talked about personal growth (hers and mine) and how we're talking now but she didn't want to give me "false hope" of a rekindle. She didn't want to dangle a carrot. She said she just needed more time. I told her if we were to reconcile it would be a slow process of beginning again from the start and it would be hard to know what would happen as we're both different people now. She agreed with me on it all. Keep in mind I still love her deeply. I know she still loves me even though it's buried just under the surface of her current feelings.
Generally these are all great signs but this is what caught my attention. When talking about friendship and being open to loving again and not wanting to give false hope she eluded to (didn't say anything outright) her moving back into the house where we could live as roommates. And if I or her were to meet someone... She didn't say any of this directly but made a few references to this sort of living arrangement. Hearing it all bothered me and I told her this wasn't a six week fling in high school and I have to be in math class with you/her. We had a marriage and I wasn't interested at all in being downgraded to "friends".
Love can't just be turned off. Maybe for some but not me.
Once I figured out what she was trying to get me to agree to I told her I think it's unhealthy for us to continue talking. She said she was confused and thought I was doing great emotionally but respected my decision to end contact. We parted company with her saying to "take care of myself". I said the same. There was no more for the rest of the day. I reflected on our conversation for the rest of the day and evening. I was still thinking about it when I woke up the next morning. I felt things weren't fully clear for either of us.
Early the next morning I sent her a message to call me when she was ready. She did a few hours later. When we spoke she was sheepish and soft in her communication. She'd often been cold and hard before. I told her I believed our continued talking was hindering her personal growth and mine. She didn't say anything about it but said she wasn't ready to have me gone from her life yet. "Yet"... What does that mean? I didn't ask and I'm not sure I want to know. Was she using me (and my sons) to ween her off of us? I don't know but I its possible.
We talked about my sons and life's happenings for a while. She talked about not having any idea of what she wanted now or later. Not even knowing what she was going to make for lunch. Normally she knew and planned for things several days or weeks or even months in advance. This indecisiveness was something somewhat new. I first noticed this behavior about and a half year ago.
After a while I redirected the conversation back to our communication. I said we could do one of three things. We could continue on talking the way we have been but I didn't believe it was at all helpful for either of us. She said nothing. Or we could pick up talking a lot more to where she responded with not being ready for that yet. ("Yet". What does that mean?) Or we could stop talking altogether and maybe sometime again in the future after a few weeks. She was noticeable bothered by this suggestion but agreed it was probably best. She said the love for one another is there but it's the in love part that is in question. I didn't agree or disagree. I noticed that after the decision was made she kept reaching for topics to keep our conversation going. We ended our phone call with us both saying "bye for now". Two days later she sent a picture showing it was snowing where she was. I didn't respond.
It's now been almost three weeks since we talked. It's been difficult. It feels like the break up has happened all over again. I'm 50 years old. I'll be 51 in July. I've had more than my fill of this emotional pain and I just want it to end. I want peace.
I know she'll be back at some point but I don't know when. My fear is that I'll have to go through all this again for a third time and it may just be a lot harder
Tdlr: I have no idea what to do or think or even say anymore.

I'm [38M] in another country for an educational program for about three weeks now, and I started dating one of my classmates [23]. We've been in this program together for four years, but this is the first time I'm actually meeting her in person. We were basically complete strangers a month ago. She is from India and this is a religious educational program. She was raised into the religion that I converted to. There were religious pilgrimages involved as part of the program, etc. I wasn't much attracted to her at first and basically thought nothing of her for about a week. The first interesting thing she said was when we were out in the city with a few other people and I went to exchange some currency. She exclaims that it's a lot of money and I shush her with my finger to my mouth and she jokingly asks if I'm going to be getting prostitutes.
Then eventually I thought I got some pretty clear signs that she was interested in me, and I started to develop feelings for her. At a group dinner one night, she chose a seat next to me and spooned some ice cream into my mouth at one point. She mentions a restaurant she wants to go to, so I ask her out a couple days later to that restaurant and she brings a guy/girl somewhat-couple from our class along. While we're walking to dinner, she asks me if I'm married, and I explain that I'm a widower since about a year ago. At that dinner, she takes a couple fries individually from my plate and the other guy points this out and I just shrug it off. Generally, she gave some strong eye contact at times during this outing. I gave her some playful nudging with my elbow at some point, that's about as far as I went in terms of being flirty.
She gets sick and missed class one day, so I leave her a message saying that if she needs anything, some medicine or drinks, I'll bring it to her or leave it at the front desk where she's staying. She says to bring her some beer. So, I buy some beer and walk it to her place and give her a call. She doesn't answer, so I just leave it with the front desk and tell her so. She then says she was joking about the beer and couldn't believe I brought it. Then she says what I did is too much and we need to meet up. She invited me to dinner, but I don't directly respond to that and just go about the rest of my day.
A few days later, I ask her out on a date explicitly, and she eagerly accepts and this time doesn't bring anyone else along. The dinner date goes well enough, although I don't touch her at all or make any moves. At the end, she offers to walk to a second location and buy some tea for us at a popular religious landmark. This part goes well also, and we have some stimulating conversation. Eventually, I say I'm ready to go to bed and we walk together through a large crowd for a bit until we reach the road where she's staying and I just say "goodbye" and keep walking through the crowd to where I'm staying. Shortly after I get to my room, I receive a text asking if I reached, and I make my response really short and tell her good night.
Here's the part that seems to be where I started fucking up. The next morning, I send her a somewhat long message saying that I had a good time and I don't want her to think I'm not interested in her because I really am. I explain to her that this was my first date in almost 12 years and my dating skills are really rusty and not what they used to be when I was in my 20s. I explain that I didn't try to kiss her, but I actually really want to. Then I proposed a second date of some expensive tour in the area since I'll only have one free day left in the country to do such a tour, and I'd enjoy her company.
She responds saying that she didn't realize that I actually meant "date" when I said "date" and only understood I was being serious after receiving this message. She said she never imagined herself going on a date, and especially not with me, because I'm older and wiser than her. She declined my offer and says that she will not continue this with me. I may have forgotten some exchanges in between, but I eventually said that I didn't understand how she could think I was joking about a date. I told her I'm 38 years old, I know what I want, and I don't play games. I told her that she broke my heart. I say that I won't lash out at her, but I wanted her to know this so that she can avoid breaking other guy's hearts in the future. A couple hours after this, she posted on her Insta story "He's a 9 because I'm the 1 he needs."
We're eventually texting more, and she explains that she isn't ready for a relationship. She says she wants to settle her life, finish school, etc. before getting married and starting a family. (I never mentioned marriage and family.) She also says she's not into long distance, since we're both going back to our home countries next week. She doesn't say anything along the lines of not being interested in me or not having feelings for me. She seemed to imply that she never had a boyfriend and never even went on a date before, although she didn't answer directly when I asked if that was the case, since there were multiple questions in one message.
I try to explain to her that we don't need to be thinking about marriage and a family right now. She says she's not ready for the "big things" right now, so then I ask if it's a "big thing" to have a boyfriend. She says it is a big thing to have a boyfriend. She needs to have feelings for him and she can't just be in a relationship and leave the relationship the next week. I took this as a test to see how serious I am about her, but who knows. I say some things to assure her that if she's telling me the truth about herself, then she's someone I certainly wouldn't want to get rid of. I try to explain that I wouldn't leave her, although I have no way to prove it, at least I can say that I stayed with my last partner until she died. And I say that she seems to be like a much less difficult person than my last partner, as long as she's being truthful about everything. She doesn't respond until the next morning.
Later she says she will meet me the next day, unsolicited, but then she changed her mind the next morning and I haven't seen her outside of class since that only full one-on-one date we had a few days ago. We're now in a different part of the program where there's no more classes together. So, there's no real reason we'd ever see each other again unless we intentionally meet.
I ask her if she just doesn't have any feelings for me and she just repeats that she isn't interested in any relationships right now but doesn't actually answer my question. I responded with a crying emoji and got really grovelly and self-debasing toward her. Then I deleted those messages and just said "Ok 🙏" and she reacted with 🙏
At this point, I'm just leaving it and waiting to see if she reaches out to me again before I leave. But I'm really confused by this one, reddit. Any thoughts?

Been married over 3 years. We have a toddler with another one on the way. My husband definitely sees me “controlling” by the way he says things to me. He acts like I am bossy when I’m just trying to look at all the options or bring up other ideas. I know where he gets it from though. I’ve never been a fan of his dad. His dad constantly talks down on his mom (his mom takes it) and claims to know everything. He makes all the decisions period. My husband is definitely not like his dad but definitely has some of his qualities to a degree. If I make a suggestion we go through with and it doesn’t pan out the way he wants, he never lets me live it down. And I absolutely tell him that! And he denies that he drills me on that stuff. Anyway, if I’m being honest, marriage has been really hard the last year. And to be brutally honest, sometimes I’m wondering if I made the right decision by his attitude and the way he does things. Today I was texting him about his parents staying and he said we’d talk about it later. I said one more thing about it in closing and he immediately called me to say stop texting - I told you we’d talk about it later. Really?? Or earlier I let our chickens out to get fresh air (they’e been locked up) and he had a hernia saying I should’ve asked him first and he didn’t want them out until after work (cruel?). Chickens are another story and 10/10 don’t recommend if you’re marriage is rocky Lol (they were his idea). He DOES have a lot of great qualities that I do admire but idk it’s been hard. And there’s just been a lot of doubt. There have been several times I got really upset and brought up martial counseling and/or talking to a priest but he brushes it off and says everything is fine. Obviously I can’t force him so how do I get through this? I’m terrified to think that as he gets older he turns more into his dad with the way things have been going. Edited to add: I also told him several times recently that we can’t have any discussions about anything without him immediately shutting things down or thinking it’s some kind of argument when all I’m trying to do is talk.

TL;DR : (M18) turning 19 in August and (F20) This is our 3rd time breaking up along with our 2nd cancelled engagement with plenty of separations and rekindling throughout our entire 4+ years knowing eachother. We’ve done a lot of growing up together as well as apart and over the years we’ve both done eachother wrong but we’ve also done so so so much for eachother as well. However, it was always me who was less mature and messing up more. I recently messed up once again and in a state of high emotion on both sides, she was fed up and said We were never getting back together. Will I ever get one last chance with her?
Please, I miss her so much and I’m willing to do anything just for one final chance. I love her and I’m IN love with her with all my heart and soul bro. I am extremely attached, connected, and emotionally invested in this girl and we have been through so much together. I desire(more than anything else in the world) a future with her.
For more context:
Our first time breaking up, I had just turned 15 and she was 16. Her and I barely even dated for a couple months before I had indirectly and immaturely broken up with her by leaving it “upto her” because of me wanting to talk to other girls, but her and I still ended up talking and being flirtatious anyway. But then we had separated because of me getting my phone taken away for months. She had started talking to someone else who was MUCH MUCH older than her and was grooming hevery toxic to her but out of strange obligation, she stayed with him anyway although she really just wanted to be with me. Her and I still remained as close as ever although she had to turn me down twice when I wanted to rekindle things. Later on, I had got my phone back and as we entered into the next school year( she turned 17 and I turned 16) we grew closer and closer and feelings developed stronger and stronger meanwhile her relationship with him was getting worse and worse and they were having multiple breakups as well. She even at one point expressed to me that she was on the verge of breaking up with him and very bluntly hinted at as well as indirectly told me she wanted to leave him for me. But ultimately after she knew that my hopes were all up and everything she ended up just choosing him over me anyway and leaving me hanging. a couple months afterwards she posting vulgar things on social media with the caption “I’ll suck my man d#%k fr” or something along those lines. That’s when I fully moved on and went on to get in multiple relationships/“situationships” over the course of that year. Until fast forward to November 2023, she comes back and we very very quickly rekindle/get back together. over the course of that year, because of my porn and masturbation addiction we’ve separated as well as had many issues interfering with my attraction of her because of my skewed image of women and interfering with us having proper sex or intimacy without my fetishes being involved. Fast forward to August, I ended up falling into watching porn for almost my entire birthday week behind her back while she was working so hard to eventually bring me gifts on that day which I later confessed to the following month. We separated for 3 days and this is when I finally started taking my walk with the lord seriously.(she began months ahead of me and she was the one that even introduced me to Christianity in the first place)(her entirely family is Christian) 2 months pass and a couple days after I propose to her for the first time and posting about it? a girl I used to talk to had replied to my iG story congratulating me and as we talked and catched up, I fell to temptation once again and ended up saying more than I should have/inappropriate things but by the time I realized what I was doing and ended it. It was too late and I confessed to her immediately. after a couple of days, she took me home from work and broke up with me. We talked about it over text an hour or so later and agreed we would be going no contact for a month, but over that period we constantly broke it(I even indirectly tried killing myself with alcohol and drunk texted her to which she was very sympathetic to and when I ended up blacking out she was terrified and prayed all night over me and even reached out to friends of mine to make sure I was okay.) fast forward, she ends it early and we rekindle. Fast forward to either late March or April 2024, I fall into looking at iG couples art and ecchi aesthetic art aka softcore porn and I confess to her afterwards. She’s initially upset but she stays with me.
Later on down the line I begin to question my faith entirely and my foundation crumbles after following the teachings of fallible men/cult leaders and mainly doing it for her and because I loved hewanted to bond with her and not actually seeking the truth for myself(although I had my moments of genuinely being curious and wanting to discover it for myself.) However, she was still just as firmly rooted in her faith as ever and maturing even more. On the contrary, I grow weak and undisciplined in my flesh, I fall back into bad habits, I stop reading the word, praying, fasting, I isolate myself from fellowship. And as it gets harder and harder to resist my sexual urges and with her unwavering on her boundaries of no sex before marriage and etc. I fell back into masturbation but eventually back into porn as well(softcore stuff again mainly but I slipped into some fetish stuff too) and it was over the course of a couple days again with me feeling very guilty and being afraid to tell heI just wanted to repent of it and be done but she ended up getting dream a about it and asked me about it the very next day to which I was honest with her and confessed. Then after however many minutes go by and her breaking up with me a third time with her saying “We are done.” and “We will see” “Love you, Bye” instead of taking the advice everyone was giving me and giving her time and space from jump. I pressed her, begged/pleaded, and blew up her messages making it worse and aggravating her until she followed up with the next day with telling me “Sure I’ll let you know where we stand”We are never getting back together.”
I panicked and went into a high emotional state myself and went to her house late at night(1 or 2 am), and pressed her even more begging and pleading. But this made it worse as well and she had said “what us? there is no us” “go home” “you did what you did”and etc while pushing me out and slamming the door in my face. She originally only talked to her mother about it but because of my stupid decisions while being emotional I unintentionally involved everyone else in it. Her older sister’s husband went through a very similar situation with the older sister and had offered to talk to me about it along with everyone else. But when I followed up later on that day it created a misunderstanding and I ended up getting blocked by him and her older sister after she texts me on her older sister’s phone saying the same exact hurtful and cold/seemingly detached things and after begging and pleading to call, we did but it only made it that much worse. I tried to explain my side of things the best I could while being highly emotional but she didn’t want to hear any of it and proceeded to say even more hurtful, cold, seemingly, detached things, cussed me out, then hung up in my face and blocked me. This whole breakup was very messy and happened over the course of barely 3 days.
I’m still in contact with her mom and I recently contacted her dad as well(parents are divorced) and he had told me she never even mentioned anything to him about it which goes to show I made things worse/unnecessarily involved other people in it that otherwise might not have been involved.
Now I’m giving her proper time and space but I’m still extremely anxious/uncertain about where things will go from here.
(I ask that you be honest but also open minded/considerate in responses please, this all happened over the span of a couple of days and I’m still very fresh in the grieving process)
What do you all think about this situation? (I especially want to hear from a female perspective)

Currently trying to change my world view and change for the better. I've been in a slump these days (after being laid off work and losing my cat) all the while— still continuing to read Dogblood stories.
I just recently finished a self-help book and realized that there is really a serious issue about me. I am pretty chill as a person and dense about my own emotion, I'm always thankful about this when I was young. I found myself majorly liking Cinderella 3 and My Litte Mermaid (extremely wrong by others) when I was young. And eventho I'm chill, I'm highly pessimistic and always think of tragedy after tragedy to whatever I think of.
We have limited internet access when I was young so I'm only into good things to what I heard to other people. Until, pandemic happens and we finally have stable internet that I finally end up to a quagmire of chinise dogblood stories (self-inflict).
It didn't happen drastically, I'm into BL and I start with japanese classics which everything are swept under the rugs and everything is not as big of deal.
I started with wattpad when I was young and the angst there are like child play but I really like those kinds of ploy. I bump into webnovel at pandemic and the first story I read is finding their fiance cheating on them the day before the marriage so I'm pretty thrill, it has 1000+ chapters and I read 800 on one fell swoop and I came into sudden realization that "Chinese stories it is and not Wattpad"
I read manga/wa/hua with heavy angst as well but I still find myself not quite into "Angst Fetish", and if you ask me my favorite stories are still the one that has the biggest fluffs. And I do read action/fantasy lightnovels as well with 0 romance.
—Until I have my very first taste of Dogblood Danmei that made me sick to my stomach. It has every element on it that makes my blood boil, abuse, cheating, betrayal, white moonlight, etc etc. I'm quite thrill and they still end up together, pretty bullshit ik. I have fun so I gave it 3 stars since it's my first angst. Then you know what's next, I look for every angst I could find.
I quite have low EQ so I sincerely admire novels that made me the feels. Even if dogblood is bad (in actuality) and sometimes boring, I made a very big move. I found 5 dogblood danmei and read it simultaneously together.
You know dogblood has resting period and has mundane chapters too? Yes. That's when I find a reason to switch to another and to another. All of them quite heavy. Until, I found my hands shaking and I have trouble breathing. I went to the bathroom and vomit. I think I'm having panic attack and I'm feeling overwhelmed.
Whenever I try to read a new dogblood, I'm back to that feeling again. But did that stop me? No. I'm still an addict seeker of dogblood but not that I still read them simultaneously tho.
Through that self-help book it says that "outrage is also a form of pleasure" and I feel like this is the pleasure that I always indulge my life of. Which is not good. How long 'till the "chill me" last? And I already broke myself beyond what I could salvage. Everyday, I always find myself seeking something to be outrage about, I quit social media, social interaction, news, comment section etc. but when I'm about to delete my bookmarks on NU (which is full of dogblood)—
I found myself reading them instead of deleting. Just this week alone I finish, Joyful Tidings at Nan Home, A Tooth For a Tooth, I’ve Liked Your Boyfriend for a Long Time, Break Up, Next, Old Man, How Can I get rid of Him, Flying Ash. I wrote this feeling sick if I would read- Their Long Night of Indulgence (I don't want to actually).
I want to really change as I no longer want to indulge myself with this negative, pessimist, full of of outrage life. I really admire very kind people and think that I'm far from being like them as I always have bad thoughts. The self help book made me realize that I could change and despite being severely depress, I can't stop myself from indulging myself to this endless dogblood stories. In truth, I want to be happy.
I feel like I'm not that unsalvageable and even the book says you will fail again and again, and it's really hard to change my habits of seeking outrage pleasure. I'm always proud of how much I can handle emotional pain that I forgot it's not just a matter of heart but also my mind. To change is to change how I view things and what I seek of.
I really want to hear your thoughts and thank you for reaching this far. And if you can as well recommend some fluff danmei, pref college/highschool, childhood friend trope I'll appreciate it a lot. Thank you so much

Long story short, one of my close friends passed away in a car accident on 02/14. Leaving behind his pregnant wife (Friend A) behind as well as a daughter age 6 from a previous marriage. He did not leave behind much so no probate thus far. Friend A said his ex wife reached out asking for a copy of the death certificate so she can go toMexico with the daughter? Located in Texas and Friend A is currently7 months pregnant, and obviously dealing with a lot. Any help would be appreciated.