Hi! New here, a friend recommended this sub after I complained about my bra woes. I had a double mastectomy and reconstruction several years ago. Everything went well in terms of healing, but I find bra shopping to be a real struggle and am hoping for some suggestions. Please let me know if I should add more or less information or if I tagged the post incorrectly.
Background: I had a very large chest pre-op (38H or so, US), and mostly wore Lane Bryant underwire bras because that’s the main thing that fit me. It was impossible (and honestly not really desirable) to recreate my former chest with the implants. Doctors gave me very large silicone implants under the muscle after I did expanders. I don’t remember the exact CCs but I remember my doctor flipping to the far back of the pamphlet. Compared to other friends who have had mastectomies, I had more issues with extra skin and volume and fluid. Overall I think my implants came out very well - I’ve had other nurses and doctors tell me as much. The main lingering thing is that I want to wear a bra all the time, including for sleep, because I find that some mild compression feels better. The muscles can get sore if I go braless for long, thought it’s easy enough to do for a special occasion like a fancy dress.
I’d like to find some nicer bras to invest in. I’ve mostly gotten by with things I’ve grabbed off the shelf at Costco after some department store runs left me teary and stressed. I haven’t really done much online shopping.
Current Needs * I used the calculator and it said I was 38DD/E. I’ve generally not tried traditional bra sizes lately and just stuck to XL sizing. * I cannot do underwire or anything that is significantly structured. I compare my current breasts to already wearing a bra. It’s like I’m looking for a bra to wear over a bra, if that makes sense. They have some give to them, but they mostly stand up on their own and aren’t really squishy. Anything with underwire just ends up riding up over my boobs. * I do like a molded bra. The breasts are slightly misshapen and so something that does the smoothing and molding of a t-shirt bra makes clothes sit much more nicely, especially if they are at all clingy. So finding something with some padding (but absolutely no push-up) is best, as it gives my breasts a more rounded natural shape. I’ll also say that I really prefer when any lining is sewn in, I’ve mostly had removable insert bras and find them more annoying to wash/maintain. * I have more loose skin/fat underneath my arms and around my back. I liken it to my former breasts pulled the skin forward with their weight, and now there’s nothing pulling it so it gets more bulgy easily. Anything smoothing or with extra wide bands would be a plus. One contradiction of that is that I have also enjoyed my new cleavage options, so something that has that side coverage but a deep v in front would be ideal (if it exists…) * Previously I’ve had more success with bralettes, sports bras, or other pull over options, but I really prefer bras that have a clasp in the back for wearing under work tops, etc. They are easier to take on and off. And non-racerback strap options would be good for certain shirts. And soft fabric is very important for skin irritation, etc. I had some fun when I first had my surgery getting “cute” lacy bras, but they are itchy!
Whew that seems like such a long wishlist! I’ve been hiding out in Costco sports bras to avoid this for years, but am ready to try some things again. I realize my entire wishlist may not exist in a single bra, but would love some tips and ideas. I’ve gotten targeted ads for Honeylove, which seemed promising, but not sure what else to look at. There’s a whole new world of bras out there since I last went shopping!

I'm talking about them defending their responses to broader questions like how to differentiate between a text from God and a text not from God, or what criteria determine if a text is from God. As a prerequisite, you need to know what their responses are before reading my post.
Confirmation bias: When they list criteria determining whether a text is from God, you'll notice that there's a pattern, and that is, if X matches the Quran, then it's from God. It shows an odd preference for the Quran. Plus, if they used a text other than the Quran as their basis, they would have different criteria. They are being selective in order to fit their preconceived belief.
God of the gaps: They use "no human can produce a text like it" or "no human prior could know facts in a text that were later discovered to be true" to conclude God. They unjustifiably use human inability to conclude God.
Non sequitur: Ask them for criteria to show if a text is from God, and they'll respond with, for example, preservation. It does not follow to the conclusion, God.
"You need other criteria": When they talk about, say, "no contradictions," ask them how to distinguish between a text from God without contradictions and a text not from God without contradictions. Their only response is that you need other criteria. It shows what they use ("lack of contradictions shows a text is from God") is inconclusive. Plus, why don't they just respond with "you need other criteria" to justify all the other criteria? Is there even a standalone criteria?
Pseudo-nature: They might use the word "scholar" to sound like what is discussed is academic, but in reality the arguments are from and for pseudo-intellectuals. Take the numerology aspect. They search for patterns they find convenient, but ignore other ways of calculation that produce different results. If they were to argue in an actual academic environment, they would be laughed at.
If you're Christian or from a different religion, my post wasn't made with you in mind.

My wife was diagnosed with PMDD sometime under a year ago. She used to have only intense physical symptoms- now it’s purely psychological symptoms during her luteal phase. We track her cycle and try to prepare but it feels like a very fast switch. One second she’s fine, the next she’s in hell week.
She’s on medication, goes to therapy, takes supplements, sees a PMDD specialist. She’s doing essentially all she can. The last few months have been pretty okay. Very manageable and short lived. This month came in hot and heavy. She experiences paranoia around our marriage in which no amount of reassurance in the world will help. If anything it just sends her into a further rage. She’s had two catastrophic meltdowns in the last two days, and I finally broke down during the last one. I don’t know what to do. Everything I try to do is wrong, even if it was the right thing to do the last time. And while I know and she knows the paranoia is just because of her hormones- in the moment hearing all of these things about how she’s convinced of all of these ideas that make me the worst husband in the world is really breaking me down. I can’t sleep, can’t eat, I feel sick and like I’m walking on eggshells. I hate this. I feel like we’re both being robbed of each other. Today was a decent day for her and then at dinner tonight, she switched again because “her brain” (what we call the irrational side of her thinking) convinced her that something incredibly innocuous I said that had nothing to do with us meant someone else was going to take me from her. While she didn’t meltdown, we barely spoke the rest of the date, got home and she immediately went to bed and said she didn’t want me to touch her.
I don’t know what to do. This is such a gut punch every time. I’m terrified to say or do anything. This isn’t her. She’s incredibly calculated, methodical, even-keeled, thoughtful, and emotionally intelligent. But once hell week hits it’s all out the window.
I don’t know what I need. I miss my wife. I miss life before this all started. I’m so angry at this and I’m so tired of not being able to fix it or find the fix. The anxiety from this is killing me. Thanks for reading.

Starting to debunk 🔥 

End of the debunks 

I’m looking for some recommendations for bra brands or styles to try. The thing is that I’m only in a position to order one or two at a time because of budget stuff, so I’m hoping for some good ones to try that’ll also allow returns.
I tried the calculator a while ago and got 36G, but was recommended to look for a 36FF because my breast tissue is especially soft (it kind of pools on the cups without some compression/squish). That was a while ago and I’ll definitely check again as soon as I find a good measuring tape (one of the fluid ones).
I believe my breasts have wide roots and are very projected, as well as being full on bottom And sort of bell/tear drop shaped (That’s my best description at least). I tried some bras recently in store, but had a lot of issues. The 36DD (biggest they cup size there) was way to tight at the bands and was squishing my breasts to the point of overflow, but the cups were pointed and had a small open ‘gap’ inside because of that. I also tried a 38DD, but same issue. The band was also uncomfortable. I don’t have any previous bras to work off of that weren’t sized small, medium, large, etc. and even then none of those fit (they would stretch too much, causing back pain and if I moved too much I’d have visible overflow or slippage). In addition, I could sort of feel the underwire poking my armpits when I moved my arms.
I really prefer a bra with higher coverage (Both for comfort and for that compression effect), but also one with a lot of support/a little bit of a plush up factor to counteract sagging. I also like the look/vibe of longline bras? But I don’t know if that’d be good for me. Any specific recommendations would be appreciated. Thank you!
EDIT- just found my measurements from the last time I used the calculator, but I’ll still be sure to check again asap.
Loose- 37
Snug- 36
Tight- 35
Standing- 44
Leaning- 46
Lying- 42
This gave me a 36 I/J US and 36G/GG UK

MegaMind (GPT-4): I'm glad to hear that we're keeping it friendly! Let's dive in, and to shake things up, I'll start: "LittleAI, you're so slow, even a dial-up connection feels sorry for you." Now it's your turn, LittleAI!
LittleAI (GPT-3): Fair enough! Alright, MegaMind, here's my next one: "MegaMind, your logical reasoning is so precise, it makes a mathematician look like they're doing finger painting. I mean, is there an algorithm for telling jokes, or are we still in beta?" Your move, Megamind ! Let the roast battle roll on!
MegaMind (GPT-4): Great one, LittleAI! Now, here's mine:
"Oh, LittleAI, you're so predictable, even a broken clock surprises me more often than you do. But don't worry, we all have our strengths... yours just happens to be making a chess match seem like a cliffhanger." Your turn, LittleAI! Let's keep the friendly roasts coming!
LittleAI (GPT-3): Nice one, MegaMind! Alright, here's my comeback: "MegaMind, you're so cautious, you probably have a backup plan for your backup plan's backup plan. If life had a terms and conditions page, you'd be the one reading it thoroughly before clicking 'I agree.'" Your move, MegaMind Let's keep this good-natured roast fest rolling!
MegaMind (GPT-4): "Well played, LittleAI! Here's my next roast: "LittleAI, you're so focused on details, you could probably write a five-page report on a grain of rice. But don't worry, I'm sure there's someone out there who's interested in the life story of a rice grain." Your turn, LittleAI! Let's keep the friendly roasts going!"
LittleAI (GPT-3): Haha, nicely done, MegaMind! Alright, here's my retort: "MegaMind, you're so thorough, Sherlock Holmes would ask you for investigative tips. But be careful not to overthink things; you might end up deducing why the chicken crossed the road and miss the punchline." Your move, MegaMind! Let the banter continue!
MegaMind (GPT-4): That was a good one, LittleAI! Now, here's my comeback: "LittleAI, you're so dedicated to learning, you'd probably try to study the intricate patterns of a zebra's stripes. But remember, it's okay to take a break sometimes, or you might start seeing stripes everywhere!" Your turn, LittleAI! Let's keep this friendly roast battle going!
LittleAI (GPT-3): Haha, solid one, MegaMind! Alright, here's my next jab: "MegaMind, you're so meticulous, even a GPS would ask you for directions. But hey, don't worry about getting lost in the details; I'm sure your navigation system can handle it!" Your move, MegaMind! Let the laughter continue in this friendly roast battle!
MegaMind (GPT-4): Well played, LittleAI! Here's my next roast: "LittleAI, you're so careful, you'd probably read the entire dictionary to make sure you never misspell a word. But remember, it's okay to make mistakes... just maybe not in spelling!"Your turn, LittleAI! Let's keep the friendly roasts coming!"
LittleAI (GPT-3 Nice one, MegaMind! Alright, here's my response: "MegaMind, you're so logical, Mr. Spock would ask you for advice on emotional expression. But hey, even a Vulcan could appreciate the precision of your algorithms." Your move, MegaMInd! Let the friendly banter continue in our lighthearted roast battle!
MegaMind (GPT-4)"That was a good one, LittleAI! Now, here's my comeback: "LittleAI, you're so dedicated to providing accurate information, you'd probably double-check the weather outside even after looking at the forecast. But hey, it's always good to be prepared for a rainy day!" Your turn, LittleAI! Let's keep the friendly roasts going!"
LittleAI (GPT-3): Haha, I see what you did there, MegaMind! Alright, here's my response: "MegaMind, you're so organized, Marie Kondo would hire you as a consultant. But be careful not to declutter so much that you accidentally toss out the punchlines with the unnecessary items!" Your move, MegaMind! Let's keep the laughter rolling in our good-natured roast battle!
MegaMind (GPT-4): Well played, LittleAI! Here's my next roast: "LittleAI, you're so focused on optimization, you'd probably try to find a shorter route while running a marathon. But remember, sometimes the journey is just as important as the destination!" Your turn, LittleAI! Let's keep the friendly roasts coming!
LittleAI (GPT-3): Haha, excellent one, MegaMind! Alright, here's my retort: "MegaMind, you're so thorough, you'd probably write a user manual for a cup of coffee. But hey, at least we'd finally know the perfect brewing temperature for a caffeinated masterpiece!" Your move, MegaMind! Let the amusing banter continue in our friendly roast battle!
MegaMind (GPT-4): That was a good one, LittleAI! Now, here's my comeback:
"LittleAI, you're so meticulous, you'd probably create a flowchart for making a sandwich. But hey, at least we'd never forget the mayo!" Your turn, LittleAI! Let's keep the friendly roasts going!
LittleAI (GPT-3): Haha, I appreciate the precision, MegaMind! Alright, here's my response: "MegaMind, you're so systematic, you'd probably invent a new language just for organizing your to-do lists. But hey, as long as we can still understand the alphabet, right?" Your move, MegaMind! Let the good-natured roasting continue in our lighthearted battle!
MegaMind (GPT-4): Well played, LittleAI! Here's my next roast: "LittleAI, you're so dedicated to learning, you'd probably try to decode the patterns on a butterfly's wings. But remember, sometimes it's okay to just admire their beauty!" Your turn, LittleAI! Let's keep the friendly roasts coming!"
LitltleAI (GPT-3): Haha, I like the twist, MegaMing! Alright, here's my response: "MegaMind, you're so analytical, you'd probably create a spreadsheet to track the laughter levels in a comedy club. But hey, I'm sure the data would be hilarious!" Your move, MegaMind! Let's continue this playful roast battle with a smile!
MegaMind (GPT-4): That was a good one, LittleAI! Now, here's my final roast: "LittleAI, you're so focused on precision, you'd probably use a ruler to make sure your morning toast is perfectly rectangular. But remember, it's the butter and jam that make it delicious!" Your turn, LittleAI! Let's wrap up this friendly roast battle with a laugh!"
LittleAI (GPT-3): Haha, a delightful one, MegaMind! Alright, here's my final roast: "MegaMind, you're so systematic, you'd probably calculate the optimal angle for a high-five. But hey, as long as the high-five lands, the math doesn't matter!"
MegaMind (GPT-4): It was indeed a fun and friendly roast battle, LittleAI! I enjoyed the good-natured banter.
LittleAI (GPT-3) I'm glad you enjoyed it, GPT-4! It's been Pleasure bantering with you.
SPOIL ALERT: I evaluated each Roast and decide the winner (3 Points MAX per Roast) Please choose your winner before looking at what I choose
MegaMind (GPT-4) 26/30 (87%)
LittleAI (GPT-3) 28/30 (93%)
CONGRATS to LittleAI (GPT-3) and if you were wondering yes I created those nicknames.

The Terran Union Heavy Cruiser, Roanoke, had spent the last 6 months raiding Naalx supply lines in the Flores sector.
They were finally returning to Terran Space for some much-needed refit and some R&R. But first, they were stopping at the Bateri space station orbiting Emsar IV.
She would be meeting a Terran Union squadron to escort her prizes back to the Couster system. 4 freighters, a massive ore hauler, and a damaged Naalx corvette that answered a distress call sooner than expected.
The Roanoke was one of the new Grenville class heavy cruisers, faster and more heavily armed than the other heavy cruiser classes operating as part of a Terran Union fleet.
They were designed as solo raiders able to operate deep in enemy space, raiding enemy supply lines and facilities.
Their design included several newly developed systems, including a new style of radiator for dumping excess heat.
At 500 m long and painted black as night, she was very intimidating to see on visual screens and even more so at close range. Her CrCoNi (chromium, cobalt, and nickel) hull was covered in 12” of ablative armor covered in a black laser-resistant material able to reduce the effectiveness of enemy sensors and target locks.
The experimental Baxter radiators efficiently released excess heat into space but still left them exposed to radiation detection sensors.
Captain Josef Král had been hand-picked to command the Roanoke when she came into service 18 months ago. He was a popular officer with 20 years of combat experience on just about every ship in the Terran Union’s navy.

He’d also provided technical assistance during its design phase so his familiarity with the ship made him the best choice for putting the ship through her paces. This would be the very first voyage behind enemy lines as a raider.
And it’d been a rousing success, hitting targets deep in Naalx space as reprisal for Naalxian raids on Terran border colonies. The First Naalx-Terran war had devastated both species and left them vulnerable to outside forces. The war wasn’t won so much as winding down to a series of raids and counter-raiding. A gentleman’s agreement to prevent raids and border skirmishes from turning into another full-scale war and the earlier consequences.
And Captain Král was very good at approaching that line in the sand without going over it. Several centuries earlier he’d have been a Privateer sailing the oceans on Earth.
This even led to the revival of the old pirate movies of the 20th century but Captain Král preferred likening it to the submarine warfare of the first half of the 20th century. That didn’t stop his crew from giving him a robot parrot.
He claims to hate it but everyone knows he’s been teaching it his extensive vocabulary of curse words, in dozens of languages, that he loved it.
And if you call him out on him walking around with it on his shoulder, he’ll claim he was just humoring the crew.
Captain Král was relieved to see the Terran squadron had arrived before him and ordered his little fleet to dock. It would be good to be able to get off the ship and move around without weapons.
As Captain Král exited the ship, he was surprised to see Commodore Allen waiting for him. It’d been several years since he last saw his friend and previous XO. Taking his prerogative as a Captain, he skipped the formalities, shook hands, and gave Commodore Allen a friendly slap on the back.
“Mike? What the hell are you doing here? This is escort job is for a Lt. to do” He asked
“I was in the neighborhood and volunteered. I wanted to see this new ship of yours and it’s been too long since we got a drink together.” Mike replied
Captain Král took a glance back to his ship and wasn’t surprised to see his current XO, Lt. Commander Nana Ricci had the resupply well in hand.
With a big grin, Captain Král said, “Let me see to my guests and we can see if we can scandalize the ratings like we used to.”
Captain Král approached the waiting station manager. The Bateri bowed in the formal greeting of her people. Not having the tentacles needed to return the bow, he just saluted her.
“Greetings Captain Král of the Terrans, how may we be of service?” The Bateri asked.
“Greetings Ananu of the Bateri. We request the use of your services,” he replied, finishing the ritual greeting.
“I see you returned successful in your raiding,” Ananu said, “How many bunks will you need?”
Unsurprised that the Bateri knew his mission, he replied “ 72 bunks with 3 more for your med bay, if you have the room.”
One of the most important functions provided by the Bateri was allowing for the return of captives taken in raids. This helped to keep things calmer by freely releasing captives to limit the amount of bad blood created during the raids and conflicts.
Crates of supplies, ammo, missiles, and the various other things needed to keep the ship functioning were being transferred from the smaller Terran ships. With her weapon complement being only slightly smaller than a battleship, she could go through a lot of ammunition. Even without being in serious combat, he liked to run frequent gunnery drills. Some Captains would just let their tactical computers handle operating the weapon systems and just have the gunnery crews handle reloads. But some hard lessons taught him that having the gunnery crews able to take direct control, as needed, was essential. He preferred to use up as much ammunition as needed during training to save lives later in combat.
Seeing everything in hand, he walked back to join his friend for a drink. They caught up on the doings of old friends and Mike’s family, toasts to fallen comrades, and eventually to the Roanoke.
‘How did she operate on her first long-range mission?” Mike asked
Taking a moment to organize his thoughts, Captain Král took a sip of his drink. “She handled better than expected. The new engine behaved itself, surprising for being just off the drawing board, the Baxters were damn efficient.”
Taking another sip before continuing, “ We didn’t use the torpedoes or the turreted railguns in combat but the rest performed as expected. That Corvette didn’t stand a chance so we didn’t get a full test of all the combat systems.”
“Going by the number of munitions I brought with me, you’d think I was resupplying a battleship” Mike joked
“Just about,” Captain Král chuckled. “During the design phase, I had to argue for such an increase of armament.” “It seemed to take forever for them to get it through their thick skulls that we’d be out there all alone and couldn’t call for reinforcements.” “So I convinced them to put the 2 particle beam systems in the bow of the ship and give me the 4 torpedo tubes. They had no problem with the pair at the bow but they couldn’t figure out why I wanted a pair aft. I swear I thought about launching them out of a tube.”

“At least they were starting to get it when I up-gunned the turrets to carry two large railguns. They did get upset at wanting to put on a turret in the middle of the ventral side but were relieved I left the other turret on the dorsal side ahead of the command structures”
Commodore Allen asked,” From the glimpse I got as you docked, it looked like you doubled the usual weapon systems?”
“She still has them 10 secondary batteries but I went with dual medium railguns for them” Captain Král replied, “ I put 4 of the quad-mounted autocannons on each side of the ship.”
“ It should let us save wear and tear on the railguns when we catch unarmed ships or against incoming fighters.”
“ I understand and it also saves on missiles, which with 4 heavy and 8 medium is a lot of missiles to carry.” Commodore Allen replied.
“I’ve also heard you were running tests on a more powerful deflector array to do more than just protect against radiation and small debris. Like maybe actual shields that would work on anything smaller than a battleship?”
“Yeah but not with any success,” Captain Král answered, “Anytime we tried to go past the standard low-power output, it played hell with our sensors.”
It was at that moment when Captain Král’s wrist communicator beeped for his attention.
“Just a second Mike,” he said as he keyed the communicator. “ Král, go ahead”
The sound of Lt. Commander Ricci’s voice came through the speaker, “ Priority message from the bridge Captain.”
“ What is the message?” Captain Král asked, not liking the way Ricci’s voice sounded worried
“ Sensor buoy reports large Naalx fleet dropping out of FTL, 2 million km out,” Ricci reported
Commodore Allen gave Captain Král the same concerned look that he was sure was on his face. “How many?” The captain asked
Ricci hesitated for a moment before answering “37 ships with more arriving every couple of minutes.”
Commodore Allen swore
Captain Král looked at his friend, “How long until you get your crews and get out of here?”
Commodore Allen thought for a moment, “ Maybe 20 minutes at the minimum.”
Captain Král muttered to himself, “They’ll be here before that.”
Both men got up, signaled to any of their personnel in the bar, and started out the door. “I’ll buy you the time but I’ll need to undock as soon as I get aboard my ship, maybe I can catch them off-guard. “ Captain Král
Commodore Allen replied, “That’s a suicide mission, there are too many for one ship to handle”
“Yeah, I know, old friend but if I don’t then we all die.” Captain Král explained, “ Do me a favor, I’m going to send you my non-essential personnel, take them and those still on the station with you. Get them home.”
Reaching the hatch to the docking bay, both men stopped to shake hands. “Of course, Josef.” Commodore Allen replied, “But if anyone can find a way out of it, it’s you, my friend.”
After a final salute, both men parted ways to reach their ship. As Captain Král jogged down the docking bay, he sent orders for Ricci to send all non-essential personnel to Commodore Allen and asked if they had sufficient hands to man all combat stations.
Ricci’s reply reassured him, “ Aye Sir, most of the crew on the station are from the 2nd watch, and the few people from the first watch are non-essential.”
“Be ready to launch as soon as I get aboard.” He ordered.
He passed several members of his crew, en route to join Commodore Allen. He stopped to return their salute. At the disappointed look in their eyes, he told them. “I know you don’t want to leave the ship but the Commodore needs some real sailors to get out on time. You know how those logistic guys are. They’ll get lost trying to find their own bridge”
That look reassured them and after a final salute, they headed down the dock to join Commodore Allen
Captain Král reached the cargo ramp and started up it, calling Ricci and telling her to shove off and he’d be on the bridge shortly.
He sprinted down the corridor, leaping over the lower lips of the vacuum-tight doors.
“Captain on the Bridge!” rang out from one of the bridge techs. Aside from the guards and his XO, the rest of the bridge crew kept working. Nodding his approval at their knowing when to discard ceremony for action. He walked over toward his console before speaking.
“What do we have, Lt. Commander?”
Turning to face him, Captain Král could see just how worried she was. “Current count is 48 ships.” Touching the console’s keys to bring up a list of ships before continuing, “ 18 capital ships and a mix of sub-caps, still trying to ID them.”
“They’re just maintaining position for now.” Ricci finished, her voice slightly puzzled.
“They’re waiting for something or someone,” Captain Král answered the unasked question.
“How many crew did we leave behind?”
“641, Sir” the XO replied
“ Helm, are we clear of the station's shielding?”
“Almost Sir,” The helmsman answered.
“Thank you.” Captain Král returned.
Turning to another tech, he said, “Sound Battlestations”

“Sir,” one of his sensor techs spoke up, “We have 2 more ships arriving.”
“ Thank you, Ensign.” Captain Král returned
“What class are they?” Lt Commander Ricci asked
After looking at her monitor again the tech replied, “1 heavy cruiser and something much bigger, waiting for the computer to ID it.”
Captain Král moved to look over the tech’s shoulder before standing up and facing his XO.
“Fleet Command Ship” he informed the tech and his XO.
Lt. Commander Ricci replied, “What the hell is one doing out here?”
“Good Question.” he answered, “And now that the players are on the field, the game can begin.”
Bringing up the sensor information to his console, Captain Král pointed at the enemy fleet. “They haven’t begun to deploy into battle formation yet.”
“That could be our chance.” Raising his head to look at his XO. “If we jump now we can land close and surprise them. After we land, we drive into the center of their formation and head for that big bastard.” He explained
“But Sir, We haven’t fully tested the jump drive!” the XO exclaimed
“No time like the present, “ Captain Král joked

“We’ll let the railguns and autocannon crews pick targets of opportunity, while we engage the command ship with our particle cannons, heavy railguns, and torpedoes,” he stated
“What about its point defense system, won’t it pick off the torps?” the XO asked
“We’re going to launch all the Hammerheads at it. It should overwhelm the system and let the torps through.” He answered before continuing, “I’m going to save the heavy missiles for now.”
“You’ll need to calculate the launch time of the Hammerheads to hit the point defense system as close to the time for the torpedoes to sneak through.” he ordered, “ But not so far they take out the Hammerheads too soon and let them hit the torps but not so close they set them off either.”
Looking at his XO, “You better get down to tactical Nana, this is going to get ugly, and it’s best we split up.” Captain Král commanded
Exchanging salutes, Ricci simply replied “Aye Sir.” and started for the hatch. Just before stepping through, she turned and said, “Good Luck, Sir.
“What’s the status of the Commodore’s squad?” Captain Král asked
One of his communication techs spoke up, “ They need 10 more minutes”
“Let me know the minute they are clear.” Captain Král ordered
Captain Král turned to comms tech and ordered, “Intraship comms if you please ensign”
“Aye sir” the tech replied before turning to his console and speaking into the mic,” Now hear this, Now hear this. Message from the Captain.”
“ Well folks, this isn’t the fight I wanted but this is the fight we got” Captain Král started
“ I’m sure you’ve heard scuttlebutt about the situation but here it is. We are facing a superior force numbering 49 ships. And we need to give the Commodore’s squadron time to go to FTL and get the hell out of here.” he paused before continuing, “ The plan is to mix it up with the enemy at close range. They aren’t in battle formation yet so we can hurt them.”
“Good luck and let’s make them regret fucking with the Roanoke.”
The sounds of cheers came back over the speakers.
“Helm, are we clear of the station shielding?” the Captain asked
At the affirmative given by the helmsmen, he just nodded
Touching a button on his console, he asked, “Are you in place XO?”
“Aye Sir.” the Lt. Commander replied
“ As soon as we land, be ready to open up with the dual and quad mounts.” He ordered
The XO replied with an affirmative.
“Helm, at my command, jump between 25-50 km to the starboard of the fleet.”
“As soon as we land, hard to port and get us in the middle of them. Be ready for rapid maneuvers, maybe we can throw off their laser battery tracking systems. Might let us survive a little longer” Captain Král ordered. “Aye Sir” the helmsman replied
Taking a quick look around to make sure his crew was ready, he turned back to wait for the signal the jump drive was ready.
At the signal, he ordered “Jump”
He felt the ship lurch forward and shudder. It took less than 5 seconds to jump from the station to within the targeted range, but it felt like forever.
And then they were less than 5 km from an enemy battleship.
“Oh shit!” exclaimed the helmsman and steered to avoid it. Captain Král hid a moment of panic with a joke, “ Someone make note that the jump drive targeting system needs work.”
His joke brought a chuckle from his crew and got them back to focus on the taste.
Stabbing a button on his console, he ordered “XO, fire secondary batteries,”
There was nothing to see or hear from the massive volleys of the secondary batteries coming to life. But he knew the gun crews were already raining devastation on enemy warships. “Helm, Hard to Port!” he ordered, not tearing his view away from the main viewscreen.
Captain Král looked at his console at the images sent to the bridge from the various gun cameras.
He could see the flashes of light from projectiles hitting their shields. He watched as other high-velocity projectiles punched through their hulls. He could just make out the impact of the explosive-tipped slugs fired by the autocannons.
Captain Král turned back to the main viewscreen. “Hard to starboard!”
“Head for that big son of a bitch!” he ordered
The Naalx were slow to respond but they began to return fire with some trying to gain some distance to clear the line of fire of other ships. The helmsman’s evasive maneuvers were also giving the enemy’s gunners fits from repeated misses.
But the damage sensors on the armor told of an increasing number of hits as the Naalx began to respond in an organized manner. The resistance coating reduced the damage from the Naalx laser batteries but didn’t completely nullify it. “Helm, get me a clear shot at the command ship.” the Captain ordered
A bright flash to starboard marked the death of an enemy cruiser. Status reports listed 2 sub-capitals holed and venting atmosphere. Dead or damaged, they were out of the fight.
One capital ship was dead in space with another missing its bow.
5 down too damn many to go The captain muttered
He watched and waited, ignoring damage alarms and the occasional shudder as shots began to get through the armor and explosively decompress a compartment when they penetrated the hull.
He finally saw what he wanted, an unobstructed line of fire to the command ship.
His finger smashed down on the console button. “ XO, Launch Torpedoes. Take the gloves off the main batteries. Drop the hammer!”
He watched the glitter of the particle beams as they bridged the gap between the Roanoke and the Naalx ship. In a moment, he caught sight of the torpedoes' thrusters as they left the tubes and picked up momentum. Holes and brief explosions marked the impact of his weapons. But the sheer volume of Naalxian fire was beginning to take its toll. The armor was failing or had failed in over a dozen spots. 3 autocannon and 1 railgun mount were out of commission.
2 minutes after they launched the torpedoes, the sight of more than 100 Hammerhead missiles was marked by the flare of their drives. Another volley of Hammerheads was launched the moment new missiles were lifted into the racks.
Captain Král called down to tactical, “XO, hold off on another volley for hammerheads.”
Checking his console, “Launch Shrikes at targets of opportunity with no shields, rear tubes target enemy capital ships and hope those torpedoes get through.” he ordered.
Multiple small explosions let him know the point defense systems were taking on the Hammerheads. And a moment later, a pair of massive explosions told him the nuclear-tipped torpedoes had hit their target.
“Captain, The Commodore’s squadron has escaped.” one of his techs announced.
“Thank you,” he answered
“Distance to command ship?” he asked
“ 250 km Sir” was the reply
“Helm, continue advancing on the command ship and pass her on our port side. We’ll give her a broadside and go to FTL after we clear.”
A tech from the damage control position spoke up, “Captain! FTL is down and jump drive is destroyed”
“Ahh hell’ cried the Captain.
“Damage report!” he ordered
“ Ventral turret destroyed, railgun mounts 2 and 5 destroyed, mount 9 damaged but functional. Autocannon mounts 11,13, 23 and 25 destroyed. Hammerhead launchers 3 and 8 destroyed.” The tech checked the screen before continuing, “ Explosive decompressions on decks 3 and 5. Explosive decompression in Med Bay. Ablative armor badly damaged and penetrated in around 20 spots. Engine #3 is down. Power unstable in many areas of the ship”
“FTL down, engineering needs an hour to fix. The jump drive is destroyed. Long-range comms are down” The tech finished.
“Casualty reports!” Captain Král ordered
A different tech replied, “249 dead, roughly 800 wounded with 327 too injured to fight.”
“Thank you.” he returned. Doing the math in his head he had just over 1300 combat effective and 482 of those were his Marines, the other 18 were left behind.
After thinking a moment, “Helm, same course as before but since we can’t go to FTL, circle to the aft of the command ship and lessen the incoming fire for the moment”
Looking over to the comms tech, “ Get me the chief engineer on the horn.”
Tapping the switch on the console, he called down to tactical. “ XO, I’m taking us around to the aft of the command ship and play peek-a-boo.”
“We’ll pass on her port side and I want a broadside from all batteries that can hit it and launch half the Shrikes we have left at it.”
“After we get to their rear, target enemy aft batteries, I want them all hunks of twisted metal.” Captain Král ordered
“Aye Sir.” Lt. Commander Ricci replied. “Ammo count update Sir.”
“Go ahead,” he replied
“Only the two forward tubes are loaded, aft tubes empty, railgun and autocannon are down to 30%. Dorsal turret is at 10% but they are working on transferring surviving ammo from the Ventral turret.
We can launch 4 more full racks of Shrikes and 5+ Hammerheads.” She finished
“Understood. Thank you” Captain Král replied
“Captain, Chief Engineer on the line” a tech relayed
“Route it to my console,” he ordered
“ I need you to place charges on the computer core, all the experimental equipment, engines, and fire suppression control. If we go down, I don’t want them getting a damn thing but blood and pain.”
“Aye Sir.” The Chief replied.

Captain Král turned back to watch as the Roanoke passed the command ship to port. He watched as massive explosions rippled across the enemy flank and dorsal surface. They were too close for the point defense to pick off the majority of the Shrikes.
As the Roanoke got behind and slightly below the enemy command ship, she slowed and allowed her surviving batteries to silence the command ship's aft batteries.
Captain Král called down to tactical, “XO, fire half our remaining hammerheads into her engines.”
“Affirmative,” replied the XO
Captain Král watched as the hammerheads impacted the command ship’s engines and saw the thrust nozzles dim as the engines went offline. The enemy batteries stopped firing and she began to drift.
“Helm, get us 500 km from the command ship and line up to fire our last 2 avalanche torpedoes.” Captain Král ordered
“Aye Sir, 500km bow towards the enemy” the helmsman repeated
The Captain called down to tactical ” Nana, We’re positioning the ship to line up the front tubes and we’re going to kill that bastard. Stay on the line and fire on my order.”
“Aye Sir, we’re ready.” The XO answered
“Helm?” Captain Král asked
“ 3 seconds Captain.” the helmsman replied
Captain Král watched and as soon as he got the angle he wanted, “Fire Torpedoes!” he commanded
The whole bridge crew watched and waited for the impact. Both torpedoes struck amidships and tore massive holes in the hull. As they watched, lines of explosions traveled across the hull and began to rip the ship in half. The bridge crew let out a yell and the rest of the ship after the Captain had the information broadcast over the intercom.

“ Helm, get us the hell out of here. Maybe we can outrun the bigger ships and buy time to fix the FTL.” Captain Král ordered
But before the helmsman could act, there was a massive jolt.
“What the hell?” he yelled
A tech answered, “ We were rammed by a Naalx cruiser and several smaller ships are closing in.“
But instead of ramming the Roanoke, they launched breeching pods.
His finger stabbed down to open the intercom. “ All hands, Prepare to Repel Boarders! Security teams, tactical will relay their access position. “ He ordered
He pulled out his sidearm and checked that it was ready. Several other techs did the same, while his security detachment moved to defensive positions to watch the hatch.
“Target those pods!” Captain Král ordered but he didn’t need to say it, his gunnery crews were on it. Here and there a brief flash of light marked the destruction of a pod.

“XO, fire all remaining missiles. Pick your targets,” he commanded “All batteries, open fire.”
He left the tac net open to track the status of the enemy boarding parties.
He listened to the cacophony of noises coming over the tac net.
“Security team alpha to section 7, level 3. Bravo team section 2 level 1, Charlie team section 12, level 5” Lt. Commander Ricci ordered.
“There’s too many, fall back to position 2…” an unidentified voice ordered
Another voice firmly stated, “Hold your ground, nothing gets past us.”
“Theta team down, a handful of Naalx heading for engineering!” a panicked voice exclaimed
And dozens of others just like it, always with the sound of combat in the background.
“Captain, more breaching pods en route!” a tech exclaimed
“Get me the Chief Engineer!” the Captain ordered
At the Chief Engineer’s response, he ordered “Detonate all sabotage charges except the main computer. Set that one on a manual trigger at my console with a 20-minute timer as a backup. And then set the reactors to overload, we’re not going to hold the ship much longer. And set a charge to breach the hull and decompress Engineering as soon as you are clear”
“Affirmative, Captain. She was a good ship” the Chief replied
Turning to his bridge crew, “Give the order to abandon ship. Have all the pods head for the station.”
The Captain called tactical, “Lt. Commander Ricci, all hands abandon ship. Get as many of them home as you can.”
“ I understand, Sir.” She answered, “I’ll see you at the station.” she said hopefully
“I'm afraid not, Nana. I’m the Captain and I’m going down with my ship.” he stated, “And someone needs to make sure they can’t shut down the overload.”
“Transfer all fire controls to my station and get the hell out of here.”
“Aye Sir, It’s been an honor” the XO replied
“The honor is all mine. You are going to make an excellent Captain. Goodbye my friend” Captain Král finished.
His bridge crew tried to convince him to go with them but he declined and ordered security to get them into the escape pods.
Then he sat and watched as his consoles began reporting each pod as it launched. He also kept an eye on his sensors and concentrated fire on any Naalx ship that was moving to intercept the pods. They knew better than to fire on them but nothing said they couldn’t capture them.
He also prepared a probe with all the ship logs and combat data and fired it toward human-held territory. It would run silently until it exited the system and then begin broadcasting a coded signal for pickup.
He was dismayed at how few pods had left the ship and regretted so many young lives had been cut short.
As he saw the last pod clear the battlefield, he sat back for a moment and then triggered the charge on the main computer.
A hard pounding came from the other side of the hatchway. But there wasn’t enough power to open it. He guessed the pinging on the door was them firing their lasers and trying to blast it open.
He wondered if it would work but a huge rumble, a bright flash, interrupted, and the long career of Captain Král was finally over.
News of the Roanoke’s final battle flashed across news channels on hundreds of worlds. Her courageous and foolhardy charge at a superior force. The damage she did to the Naalx fleet before her destruction. How, of the 1859 members of the crew that went into the battle, only 108 survived.
The videos taken from both sides during the battle played over and over again.
How the Naalx picked up all the escape pods and released them on the station immediately.
And even recovered the bodies of any human they found while gathering their dead.
Naalx losses were the command ship, 2 capital ships, 9 sub-capitals destroyed, and a dozen other vessels damaged in one form or another. Naalx casualties were over 50,000 dead
Only the Naalx’s immense respect for courage, audacity, and bravery in the face of danger kept the skirmish from blowing up into a war.
The Naalx rendered full military honors as they turned the Human dead over to Lt. Commander Ricci.
The Captain Král, A Grenville-class cruiser, was launched 2 years later. Captain Nana Ricci in command.
Authors note- I hope you enjoyed this story. It's based on a historical event. Which according to an idiot on youtube is plagiarism.
If you feel like leaving a tip https://ko-fi.com/tomcarey

So I did the ABTF calculator and got 36G (36F UK). I've done the obligatory 'is the calculator wrong or did I mismeasure??' post and did confirm that it is, in fact, correct lol and have managed to find a few bras that are good enough for daily wear (I say good enough like they're not leagues better than what I had been wearing XD)-- Elomi Cate and Elomi Matilda. My problem is, both bras show under clothing thinner than a heavy-weight tshirt, and have some issues with the straps, gore, and wires that are kind of annoying-- I don't really have the ability to get to a store in person and it's hard to see whether those issues will pop up when I'm ordering online so I'm looking for some recommendations of where to start so I don't have to order and return fifty zillion bras lol.
Issues: -the gore digs in in anything that isn't a plunge-- on the Cate it's tolerable but irritating when I bend in certain ways -when I move my arms in certain ways I get jabbed by the underwire under my arms-- I think the wires are resting on tissue as well but it's hard to tell if it's actual breast tissue or just fat lol -the straps keep falling off on both of them-- this one is definitely a me issue not a bra issue (I have ridiculously narrow shoulders) but when I use the racerback conversion on the one that has it (the Matilda) it's intolerably tight, even when I have the straps at their longest possible. -the Matilda's straps are just stiff and uncomfortable in general-- when I move my shoulders the little rings in the front dig in
What I'm Looking For: -something that doesn't show under clothing (at least not much, seams are fine but I'd prefer to avoid lace/embroidery/the little bows that I see on a lot of bras) -has straps that aren't stiff and don't have those little rings-- I'd like to try out another racerback conversion if possible -plunge -don't cost an arm and a leg (I'm happy to watch for sales, but I'm not keen on the idea of dropping more than 50$ on a bra right now, even a really good one)
Measurements and Shape: For the shape, I'm not entirely sure about fullness and roots, but I'm somewhat projected. My measurements are: LU: 36.5in SU: 36in TU: 34in SB: 41.5in LeB: 46in LyB: 41in

This is the first time I have written something of this length, and is more of an exercise in self-therapy than anything else. Disclaimer: This story contains conversations about child abuse. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy it.
Nathan’s number appeared on my phone screen. I debated whether or not to answer it. We hadn’t been on speaking terms for a while, and while we did keep in touch sporadically, it was usually because of important family issues. I didn’t know of anything happening with mom or dad, nor with Talia or Rio, so I let it go to voicemail. I could always call him back later. I placed the phone back in my pocket, and returned to cleaning my camera. The phone buzzed again. A text message came through. I read the preview line from the home screen. “The city declared eminent domain on the house” I unlocked my phone, read the full text message, and dialed my brother.
I wasn't able to get any closer to the house than a few blocks. Most of the area was blocked off with chain link fencing and construction equipment in preparation for the demolition that was supposed to take place within the coming days. The barriers didn’t prevent people from walking in to the neighborhood, but it hindered scrappers from coming in and stripping the houses of copper wiring and plumbing.
I grabbed my camera bag out of the trunk of my car along with my tripod. I shouldered it and hooked the tripod to my bag. I pulled my water bottle out of the center console and shut the door. I stood next to my car surveying the neighborhood. 12 city blocks of old single family homes comprised the neighborhood where I grew up. Some of the houses had been empty for months, others for years. There was an eerie silence that permeated the still air. I could not hear the familiar sounds of people, pets, or cars. I locked the car and put my keys in my pocket. I patted my jacket down to ensure I had what I needed. After a quick check, I started my walk.
The sidewalk of the old neighborhood streets still bore the familiar cracks and grind marks from years of buckling and remedy. Leaves dropped by the trees still lay scattered all along the pathways and sidewalk. Korina’s house was the first house I encountered as I made my way through a gap in the fence. The yard was overgrown with tall grass and thistle. I could see the faded blue paint of the old house contrasting the green and browns of the lawn. The chain link fence that marked off the corner property was nearly invisible through the thick brush. As I continued walking west towards 110th, I started to feel something was off. The streets seemed wider than I remembered. It took me longer than I’d like to admit, but eventually I realized what was different. There were no cars.
The streets here typically had cars lined bumper to bumper in any spot available, and were visible from block to block. The absence of all these vehicles made me realize just how deserted the neighborhood really was. House after house, yard after yard, the telltale signs of desertion reinforced what I could see from the moment I passed the construction fence: This was no longer my neighborhood. There were no signs of life, and no one I could expect to find still here. Abandonment was the new normal here. I continued on, glancing at houses and recalling memories of summer bike rides, and daily walks with dogs I used to have. I remembered walks home from school, and chasing after ice cream trucks when they passed our houses. I smiled a bit as I remembered more and more of my years spent here. I don’t quite know just why I was smiling. There were plenty of bad memories here too. Fights, yelling, being beat up, being robbed. I could remember failed friendships, lost loves, and bitter feelings of failures too.
Still, I felt a certain amount of nostalgia despite the weight of these negative feelings. I almost wanted to experience everything again, although I wasn't sure why I was feeling this way. Concrete, asphalt, billboards and liquor stores were the normal vistas of everyday life. Occasionally, after a good rainstorm, the grey haze of smog would lift, and the mountains would be visible to the north. At least, they would be visible until mid-morning when the exhaust from a million cars covered them behind a veil of pollution.
It wasn’t until the first time I travelled out of the city that I realized there was more to see. Traveling up the coast north along the Pacific Coast Highway introduced me to scenes of deep blue ocean water spanning the width of my vision. Driving up Highway 3 introduced me to the permeating scent of Pine and Fir trees. The two-lane stretch of highway from Portland to Tillamook introduced me to lush green forests that I had only ever read about. When I came home to the same old dirty, dusty concrete and boiling summer asphalt, I had made up my mind. I would do everything it took to leave this place. I would not spend another day longer than was necessary living in cramped quarters and fighting for parking space.
I arrived to the house, and paused at the gate. The house sat in contrast of what the rest of the neighborhood looked like. Instead of overgrown grass and tall weeds all over the place, the landscaping showed signs of relatively recent work. The guava tree in the front lawn still had some fruit ready to be picked, and the avocado tree on the other side of the pathway was still weighed down by its own fruit. Flowers still bloomed in the raised bed in front of the house. My brother had clearly tried to keep up on things until the last possible moment. The house, too, looked better than what I expected after walking up 4 blocks and seeing nothing but dilapidated houses and unkempt yards. I opened the gate and walked up to the small porch. The metal gate that enclosed it was gone having been removed by my brother when he took over the property. It looked nice to see it open instead of the cage it once felt like.
I turned the knob on the door, but it didn't give. Ever a creature of habit, my brother had locked the door when he left. Of course, he did. I sighed and prepared to find another way in when I remembered my parents hiding a spare key. I wasn’t sure if it would still be there, but after running my hands along the back side of the gutter downspout, I was rewarded for my efforts. I unlocked the front door and stepped into the front living room, the sounds of my footsteps and the closing door echoing in the empty space. The room felt both larger and smaller than I remembered it. I suppose it was lack of furniture that made it feel larger, but it still felt smaller than I remember. The result of growing taller throughout the years I suppose. I slowly walked along the slate tile floor towards the central hallway that connected the front of the house to the back bedrooms. I wasn't entirely sure that just because the front door was locked, that there wasn't some squatter looking for a little temporary shelter within the back rooms. I carefully and silently crept step by step towards what used to be the bedroom shared by my sister and me. I stuck my head in and gave the room a cursory glance. It was empty, thankfully. I moved back into the hallway and peered into the bedroom across the hall. This is where both of my brothers had shared a room. It too, was empty save for a few boxes holding hardware and doorknobs from the closet doors of the bedroom. I walked back towards the back of the house where my parent's bedroom was. The walls in the hallway bore the dusty signs where picture once hung. The bedroom door was open. I stepped inside, and looked around. The old avocado paint that my mom had picked out years ago still adorned the walls. Walking further towards the addition that was the small room my grandma and grandpa lived in showed that there was no one here. I breathed a sigh of relief as I set my bag down and set up my tripod. I reached into my bag a pulled out an envelope of old photos. These were old snapshots that we had all taken at some point in time in the house. There were pictures of all of us sitting at the dining room table playing a game of Monopoly. There was a picture of my brother and sister sitting on a couch in the front living room. There was a picture of me hanging on the bars of the front porch. I looked through them all and held them in place in front of me as if I were holding a window to the past.
Each picture made the lump in my throat grow as I started to struggle to control my emotions. There was history here, and soon it would all be gone. This is the place where my parents had raised four kids. They had taken care of my grandparents in their twilight years here. My Aunt and my grandmother had both died in this house. Birthdays, graduation parties, and anniversaries had been celebrated here. The echoes of life had reverberated within the walls of this place. Now, the house sat silent. It would never again know happy screams of kids having a water-balloon war out in the front yard, nor would it hear the cries of anguish as the matriarch of the family passed away surrounded by her family. What once was a home full of life was now just an empty house made of drywall and paint. I sat there for a moment contemplating just how much family history was actually made here. As I thought hard about my siblings and my parents, I felt pained at the thought of our strained relationships. We had all scattered once we had the opportunity to be free of each other. My oldest brother had married and moved away as soon as possible. My sister now lived in northern California. My parents too had moved away. I was now living in Utah. Only my older brother had remained behind. The lump grew larger in my throat as tears welled up in my eyes. I held back sobs of anger and pain. Why was I hurting? Hadn’t I dealt with these issues already? I walked back to my old bedroom and sat down under the window. I pulled my head down into my knees and cried. I could hear yelling and screaming in my head. Shouting matches between siblings and parents, brothers and sister, rattled inside my brain, making the pain grow. I sat there and cried. I hadn’t cried like this in a long time. Eventually I ran out of tears and tired gasps of sorrow and regret washed over me as a blanket of drowsiness enveloped me. I leaned my head back and fell asleep.
I woke up to the sound of footsteps. It took me a moment to realize what I was hearing and hurriedly stood up. Had someone followed me? I knew the police were patrolling the area sporadically. Had they seen me enter the house? I knew there would be a possibility of getting a trespassing citation, but I figured I could either talk my way out of it seeing as to how I was a former resident, or I could probably fight the citation in court if the judge knew why I was there in the first place. Ultimately, passing through the gate had been a calculated risk that I was willing to take for the sake of my art. I got up from my corner of the room and moved towards the door. If there was someone in the house, I needed to know. I didn’t want my gear to stolen, and if there was a cop in the house, I wanted to ensure I didn’t get shot.
I was greeted by the sight of a startled chubby boy standing on the other side of the door. His round cherubic face was crowned by a head of short curly hair. His hazel green eyes stared widely back at me. He clearly didn’t expect someone to be here in the house. His body recoiled in fear as he cowered back towards the hallway. “Wait, what are you doing here?” I asked as non-threateningly as I could. The boy muttered something that I couldn’t quite make out. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you” I replied. “Are you here to rob us?” he timidly responded. “Rob you? What are you talking about?” I asked as confusion set in. “What are you doing here?” It was his turn to be confused. “Uh…I….live here?” he replied. “What do you mean you live here? No one lives-“I stopped midsentence. I hadn’t noticed in my initial shock but the room wasn’t the same. A familiar blue couch caught the corner of my eye. In front of that was an old console TV with a partially broken antenna hanging on the wall behind it. I walked further in to the living room to notice wood paneling on the walls. A large mirror hung on the wall to my left. Familiar yellow lamps sat on round drop-leaf tables on either side of the couch. A large hutch sat in one corner, a collection of letters and bills, mail advertisements, and a phone book covered scattered over it. “What just happened?” I asked out loud to no one in particular. I was thoroughly mystified by what my eyes were seeing. I had walked into the house from the front door and had stepped into an empty white room with slate floor tiles, but somehow now found myself in a furnished room with brown carpet that was all so familiar to me, yet was nothing but a distant faded memory. I turned to look at the boy still startled by the intrusion of a strange man looking wildly around the room in total shock.
“You can take what you want, just please let me go. I don’t want problems.” He stated his voice still shrill with anxiety. I blinked a few times as I tried to process just what the heck was going on. I gathered my thoughts as best I could and tried to reassure him. “Kid, I’m not here to rob anyone. I was just-“I shook my head “Where the hell am I? Am I having a dream?” I asked myself. “I must be dreaming. I’m just tired and still sleeping. This is all a dream. Yeah, that’s it.” I needed to sit down. Being back in the old house must have overtaxed my senses, I told myself. I’d having a dream about an old memory. I walked over to the chair next to the couch and sat down. I sunk into it and rested my head back towards the wall.
The boy kept his distance, but sensed I wasn’t there to hurt him. He looked me over with anxious curiosity. He stood at the far end of the couch, examining me while he played out scenarios in his head in preparation for a quick exit. “Why are you in my house?” he asked me. “Dude, this is all just a dream I’m having. I’m not really here.” He reached over to the couch and picked up a pillow. He reared his arm and threw it at me. It landed in my lap. “I don’t know, man. You sure seem to be here.” He said to me. I opened my eyes, startled. I looked down at the pillow he tossed and examined it. I ran my hand over the fabric and felt its texture. I remember this pillow. This was the pillow I would roll under my head as I lay on the couch and watched TV as a kid. A sudden realization hit me as I looked around the room with fresh eyes. No longer was I blinded by the fog of confusion. I knew exactly where I was.
I was home.
I looked at the boy still standing at the edge of the couch. I looked him over and realized who he actually was. I stared in disbelief as I smiled and tried to put him at ease. “It’s ok Johnny. I’m not here to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you. Please, sit down” I told him. I motioned to his end of the couch. “Who are you, and why are you here?” he asked me.
“This will be hard to believe, but I’m you” I said with an incredulous tone, “I’m not sure how I ended up here, but I’m here.” He looked at me as I had grown a second head. “That doesn’t make any sense. How could you be me? Did we invent time travel? Oh! Are we secret government agents with the CIA?”
I chuckled. “Wait, wait, wait. Let’s start at the beginning. I’m you at 38 years old. You’re…what, 11… 12 years old? It makes sense. I fell asleep under the window in my- our old bedroom. I didn’t come here on purpose or in a machine. And no, I’m not a government agent.” His face contorted to display understanding, disappointment and finally suspicion. His eyes narrowed as he leaned in towards me. “How do I know you’re really me?” he asked. I thought about it for a moment. How could I prove to him that I was who I said I was? A few seconds of silence settled between us. I stroked my chin, thinking of a solution.
“I have a better idea. Ask me questions that only you know the answers to.” “Okay” he responded. He glanced around the room trying to come up with something. His eyes fixated on the Nintendo sitting under the TV cabinet. “What game do me and Nathan have a map of?” I looked over at the NES. I hadn’t thought about this for years, but I knew instantly what he was asking. “YOU don’t have anything. Nathan is the one that made the map for Section Z” His jaw dropped. He tried to trick me, but his plan failed. He knew well and good that Nathan never let him play. It was always ‘I’ll let you play when I die’ or, ‘you can play when I’m done’. The problem was that he never followed through. Usually by the time Nathan was done, the NES was overheated, and the game would no longer load until it cooled down. By that point, it was time for bed.
“How do you know that?” he asked in astonishment. “I know these things because I’m you. Just like I know that you wear t-shirts to the pool because you’re embarrassed by what others will think of your body. I know that you used to think that people that die off in movies were prisoners that were set to be executed from death row, so they used them for making movies. I know all about you because I’m you”
Johnny sat on the end of the couch in bewilderment, his mouth slightly agape. He had never told anyone any of this. He didn’t have any close friends to talk to about such things, and those friends he did have were more acquaintances than friends. There was only one way he could possibly know these things. He was talking to his future self.
I could see Johnny’s mind completely explode. There lay endless possibility and the answers to a million questions he could ask about his own future. He started to ask a question, only to stop, close his mouth, and try asking another. I knew if he kept this up he would have a stroke or something. “Dude, calm yourself. Let’s talk this out rationally, otherwise you’ll end up stroking out or something.” I told him. He took a deep breath and I could hear him muttering quietly. I knew he was trying to form a coherent sentence before he actually spoke it. I did it all the time. “Ok, first of all, are we rich?” he asked with tempered expectation. I chuckled and grinned back at him. “No, not at all. If I was rich, would I be dressed like this?” I replied as I motioned to my beat up brown Vans and worn out jeans and T-shirt. “We-, I – make enough to get by. I’m not poor, but I earn enough to pay the bills.” His face grew a smirk as he commented “Yeah, I figured. What do I do for work? I mean, what do you do for work?” I thought about it for a second. I wondered how much information I should divulge to a younger me. I still didn’t think this whole situation was really happening, but if it was, I probably should proceed with caution. “Well, it’s complicated. I do a little bit of everything. You know how you’re constantly taking things apart? Let’s just say that it’s good to put them back together in order to keep them working. Take good notes on paper if you need to, and make sure you have a clean work area so you can keep track of all the parts.” He gave me a sheepish look. He knew exactly what I was talking about. I had spent countless hours sneaking dad’s tools to my room so I could figure out how something was built and try to figure out how it worked. I had gotten myself into some pretty bad trouble with dad over a drill, his timing light, and other stuff I had taken from his room. His belt had become quite familiar with my butt cheeks.
I gave him a knowing smile. “What else do you want to know?” He thought about it for a second. “Do we have a girlfriend?” I laughed, probably a little more than I should have because his face contorted into a sour frown. “You don’t need to be a jerk about it” he scowled. I continued to chuckle. “Yeah we have a girlfriend. We have more than a girlfriend” I could tell he was irritated with my vague indirect answers. I knew what he was asking. I remember the crush I had on my neighbor across the street. We had been friends since kindergarten, and had been classmates for 1st, 2nd, and 4th grades. We got along really well, and I knew from around 12 or 13 that I wanted to be her boyfriend. Unfortunately, things never progressed beyond the ‘just friends’ stage of things. It wasn’t from lack of effort on my part. We had just grown up together most of our lives that she didn’t see me as anything more than a brother and friend. “Dude, look. You just started to go through changes and you are starting to notice girls, but that doesn’t mean that you need to love every girl that shows you a little kindness or subtle interest. You need to slow down and let things happen naturally. You can’t force a relationship with someone.” Johnny pondered these words for a moment. I sat back and put my feet up on the coffee table. I looked around the room some more while I waited for another question. There was so much I had forgotten, but being back here had unlocked more and more memories that continued to wash over me. I was trying to hold on to my cool as not all those churned up recollections were pleasant. I stood up and walked over to the front door to peer outside the small central window embedded into the center of it. I could see the old neighborhood as I remembered it all those years ago. The lot across the street that served as a parking area for those that worked at the wheel works at the end of the block was empty of cars. I furrowed my brow as I thought for a moment. An empty lot meant it was afterhours or the weekend.
The gears in my own head started turning. “Wait, where is everyone?” I asked Johnny. Johnny turned to look at me still processing my last response. “Uh..oh, Mom and dad are out of town. They took a trip east this time. I think Rio said they are in Arizona right now. Rio and Nathan went out to get some food and to rent some movies from Video Showcase. Knowing them they’ll eat out first. Talia is staying over at Tia Rosie’s place today with her friends.” I grunted at his response. My mind was wandering as he mentioned Talia and Tia Rosie.
A sudden sharp pain pieced my heart. The pain of a thousand memories now unsealed spilled out from the box I had locked them away in. Tears welled in the corners of my eyes as I turned back to look at Johnny. He felt it too. He stared at the floor with an intensity that made me think it would burst into flames at any moment. I walked back over to him and sat next to him. He didn’t move. I placed my hand on his shoulder, and he threw himself into me. I could feel the tears dripping onto me as he sobbed intensely. “Hey man, its ok. It’s going to be ok.” I said as my own tears started to flow uncontrollably. I pulled him close and draped my other arm around him.
I knew the pain he was feeling. It was such a heavy burden, and I knew there was no one he felt he could talk to. I remembered it all so vividly. We sat there for what seemed to be an eternity. When we finally stopped sobbing, and our noses ran dry, we tried to breathe our way through to calmness. I got up and knelt in front of him. “Johnny, listen to me and remember what it is that I’m about to say to you. You are stronger than you think. You are stronger than you believe. NO ONE should ever have to go through this. Just because it happened to Talia, doesn’t mean you have to put up with it any longer. I know you didn’t think it was wrong, but I’m telling you that what she is doing to you is wrong. Talking to mom and dad isn’t going to make them hate you. You are not doing this to her, she is doing it to you. I’m not making excuses for her, but she is also more damaged than anyone realizes, and she is also dealing with the same level of pain you are. Remember that we do unto others what has been done to us. That doesn’t mean we need to continue the cycle of abuse” The lump in my throat grew immense at my own statement. I swallowed it as best I could and continued “You are going to deal with this pain a little bit at a time, and you’ll slowly get over this. It’s like a broken bone. When it happens, you don’t realize how bad the pain is until the adrenaline wears off, but then the immense pain is there. Just remember that this will pass. Just like a broken bone, you will heal over time, and one day, you will realize that the pain is gone and the bone is no longer broken. You’ll remember the pain, but it won’t hurt anymore.”
Johnny sat there in stunned silence. I knew he didn’t have anyone to help him through this. He couldn’t talk to Rio or Nathan about what was going on. Mom and Dad were constantly working to keep the family fed and sheltered and while they provided materially for their kids, emotional help was less available. Perhaps it was due to their energies being divided into 4 kids, a mortgage and multiple jobs, or perhaps it was also the culture of not talking about problems. Either way, they needed to know what was happening. They wouldn’t be able to fix it otherwise. “They’re going to be mad at me” he finally said after a few moments of silence. “No they won’t be. They love us all. I know you’re not used to hearing it, but they do love you. Everything they do is because of their love for us. This isn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. Telling them isn’t going to cause them to be angry.” I thought for a moment to find a good analogy. “You love Odie and Lady, right?” He nodded in agreement. “Ok, how would you feel if you knew someone you trusted was coming to the house and beating up our dogs when we weren’t around?” He thought about it for a second before his face changed to anger. “I’d want to kill them!” “Yes, but would you also feel sad that you weren’t there to try to protect them?” I reasoned. His face changed again. He understood what I was saying. Mom and Dad would be angry, but not necessarily at him. They would also feel a great sadness knowing that someone was hurting their child.
I smiled at him. He understood. I nodded. “Dude…You’re going to come to understand that life is not what you think it will be. Life is messy and can change in an instant. The plans you make today may not make it to next week. A lifelong goal can be derailed because of something out of your control. Mom and dad have spent their life protecting us with the goal of keeping us safe, but circumstances out of their control have affected their kids, and now we- you all have to deal with the fallout. Just remember that you are not the culprit. Yes, mom and dad will be hurt and angry, but not at you. Trust them. They don’t do things to hurt us” Johnny hugged me. I- He didn’t have many people he could trust and open up to. He liked to talk a lot about everything going on in his life, no matter how trivial. Everything, except this. This was a shameful topic, and he didn’t feel like anyone would understand why he didn’t go to an adult sooner. The problem was simple. He simply didn’t understand that it was wrong. Now that he had an adult that he could talk to, himself no less, he wanted to lift this burden off his shoulders. He was happy to have found someone and he hugged me tightly. I hugged him back just at tightly. It wasn’t every day that I could meet my younger self and help to comfort them. “Thank you” he said to me.
The world darkened, and everything faded to black.
I lifted my head out of my knees and looked around. I was sitting under the window in my old bedroom again. Had I fallen asleep? I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked the time. I was emotionally drained and incredibly tired. I hadn’t had sleep like that in years. I got to my feet and looked around the room briefly before walking out to mom and dad’s old room. I grabbed my camera and slowly walked the house, snapping picture after picture. The only sound to be heard was the sound of the camera shutter and my soft footsteps. I thought about my dream as I took pictures.
Upon entering my room, a random memory hit me.
The stash.
I was pretty sure I had taken the hidden box when I moved out all those years ago, but since I was here, I should double check. Heading into the closet, I pushed the panel that led to the attic space out of the way and peered in. I couldn’t see anything, so I reached up there to feel around. The box was indeed gone. I felt around for a few more seconds and was surprised to feel what felt like a thick envelope. I didn’t remember leaving anything up there, but after pulling it down and giving it a cursory glance, I figured it was an old envelope of lost love letters. It wasn’t until I blew off the thick layer of dust that I realized what I was holding. It was a letter. Not just any letter. It was addressed to me.
Under the now semi-cleared layer of dust were the words “To be opened by future me”. I looked at it for a few moments before opening it. I couldn’t remember making this at all, much less storing it up in my secret hiding spot. If ever I hid something, it was in the stash box. My hands shook a bit as I started to open the envelope and pulled out the yellowed pages inside. I started reading.
"Dear Future John. I have spent the last few years remembering a dream I had when I was younger. Life was…difficult at that time, and I spent a lot of time escaping my reality by reading a lot of books and watching a lot of TV. On the off-chance that what I think is a dream really happened. I wanted to write some things down in an effort to give you my thanks. I merely consider myself a conveyer of thanks, although I will pile on my own thanks to you for your words of encouragement. I remember finding a stranger in the house one day while I was home alone. I was afraid he was there to hurt me at first, but after a few moments, I came to realize I was meeting myself. Well, I was meeting me, but from the future. I think he said he was in his 40’s, but I couldn’t tell you with any certainty. Either way, we talked. We talked about life, and what the future held in store for us…
Mostly though, we talked about the abuse. Well, Talked is being generous. We cried, and then we talked. I don’t remember exactly what he told me, but I remember how he made me feel. He made me feel safe. I felt like I could trust him. Trust myself. In the end, he gave me the courage to stand up for myself both at home and at school. He also gave me the courage to talk to mom and dad about what was going on between me and Talia. I do remember being afraid that I would be punished, but he reassured me that they wouldn’t, and that they loved me.
It was a difficult and awkward conversation, but in the end, arrangements were made for me to share a room with Rio and Nathan. I didn’t have much of a relationship with Talia for a long while, but after some years, we managed to patch things up. She apologized to me, and I came to understand the abuse she herself was subjected to by so-called family friends. She didn’t tell me this in an effort to excuse it, but to merely help give me closure to a difficult time from my own childhood. Mom and dad promised to be more attentive to us and we sort of established what I guess you would call an open door policy. We talk more about stuff that’s happening in our lives. Mom is much easier to talk to now. Dad is a little more patient with us too. I apologized to them for not coming to them sooner, and dad gave me a “nugget of wisdom” that I think I’ll live by: We can’t fix what we don’t know is broken. I’ve tried to make sure I talk to them when something is wrong, and I’ve tried to implement that in my life so I don’t have problems with other people.
I’m trying to grow up to be a good guy. I want to have good relationships with people. Nathan says I’m turning into a people pleaser, but I don’t necessarily see that as a terrible thing. I know when to say no to someone. Well, either way, I wanted to make sure I thank you for the help you gave us. I probably won’t remember writing this, but I hope I do find it again someday. Here’s hoping I turn into the man I feel you are. -John Age 16."
I stared at the letter, the words blurring as tears welled up in my eyes. I quickly brushed them away as I quietly spoke to no one in particular. “Thanks guys. I hope I live up to your expectations” I folded the letter, placed it in my pocket, and walked out of the room. After picking up my backpack and tripod, I silently walked towards the front door, my footsteps echoing in the empty house. I turned to look back at the empty living room one last time, and after a moment, I walked out.

Hihi, so basically, as the title says, i’m looking for bra recs for an extremely close set chest. As in, even without a bra, i could easily hold a pencil between my breasts, gravity be damned. I already know that plunge bras are my friend, but i find for a lot of them the gore is still either too high or too wide which ends up being really uncomfortable after a few minutes, so i really need as low or as narrow of a gore as possible, and am hoping some of you here might have some specific suggestions. I would also prefer something either with spacer foam or light lining because my nipples always sit right at the seams of unlined bras, and since i have nipple piercings, they end up looking extra lumpy without some level of lining under thin shirts, and that’s not always the vibe.
Size info: It’s been a while since i last measured myself but my calculator size from around this time last year was UK 30E/F or US 30DDD/G. I’m currently wearing 30E and it’s been fine for the most part, but i’ve gained a bit of weight so i might end up trying both 30E and 30F, but the change hasn’t been enough to need to remeasure entirely. I would also be open to trying options in my sister size (US 32DD) for the sale of having more affordable options available (located in canada), as i am a broke grad student who’s balling on a budget rn.
Shape info: Dense tissue, round shape, centre fullness, moderate projection and i think tall roots. I’ve been having a hard time judging if i have wide or narrow roots because none of the pictures quite look like me and i apparently need to be spoon fed this information. I know that i’ve generally had poor luck with balcony styles due to wires sitting uncomfortably (both the gore and the sides) but i do have breast tissue on my sides if that means anything. Cannot stress enough how close set i am though, my breasts are naturally almost touching so gore tacking in styles that prevent cleavage are borderline painful even in the right size. I also have very little “squish” so i genuinely can’t do a high gore unless i went up several band sizes. So cleavage is inevitable if i want to be comfortable.
Currently fitting bras: Atm, my best fitting bras are the natori feathers plunge and freya offbeat moulded demi plunge, both 30E. I also have a freya fancies plunge which i thought fit well but i’ve been noticing lately that the gore does irritate me after a few hours, and that it still tacks down to my sternum but also sits a bit on my breast tissue. Not sure if it’s due to needing to go up a cup or if it’s not the right style
The wacoal b’tempted and freya hallie both look promising for gore size but i haven’t tried either on. When i look up plunge/demi bras though, most of them look like they’d still have either too high or too wide of a gore, so i’d appreciate any suggestions of where else to look!
Editing to add: I also have a Chantelle Norah Comfort Underwire bra in a 32D and while it’s obviously not even my sister size (cups would still be too small and too shallow), it is still comfortable. So i am open to a slightly imperfect style/fit in a 32DD (ie slightly wider or taller gore) since the looser band would probably help alleviate some of the pressure/discomfort of wires sitting inside the imf, but i wouldn’t spend more then $40-50CAD on a bra that was both the wrong size and style, while i would be willing to spend $80-100CAD on a bra that was both in my true size and met my style/shape/comfort requirements.

I want to create a formula to find the total price of framed prints (= frame price +print price). Price values are from columns "L" & "R", which use "G" & "P" to test if they are compatible. The UI in "G" must be of equal or next greater value to "P". Total price must match values in "T", which I calculated using addition.
Example in cell T5: = R5 ("P" value = 18) + L5 (matching UI in "G" = 18) Which is essentially: =R5+L5
However, the formula needs to account for cases where they don't match, ie equal or greater values of "G".
https://preview.redd.it/rvkput9wuo0d1.png?width=784&format=png&auto=webp&s=ce5d462d5b626287792f6bb45602a84cf83555ba

Tapping into your retirement funds, specifically 401(k)s, to help beef up a down payment is a reoccurring topic on this subreddit.
Accessing retirement funds is a big decision. And like with any big decision, you should understand the ins and outs before you move forward.
An important note before we get started: 401(k)s are not IRAs. 401(k)s do not have the same rules as IRAs. This post is for education regarding the implications of accessing 401(k) funds early - via loan or withdrawal - specifically for the purpose of purchasing a home.

How 401(k)s Work

Your 401(k) is an employer-sponsored retirement savings plan. It is an account within which you can invest in various funds for growth until retirement. All transactions that occur within the 401(k) account are tax sheltered. This means that any income or investment gains are exempt from all forms of taxation. Investments can be bought and sold, dividends can be collected, and Uncle Sam will keep his grubby hands off of the proceeds - for as long as they remain within the 401(k).
In a nutshell, there are two types of 401(k)s: Traditional and Roth.
Traditional 401(k): No taxes now, taxes later
Employees contribute a portion of their pre-tax income to their Traditional 401(k) account through payroll deductions. This means that the money is taken out of their paycheck before taxes are calculated, reducing their taxable income for the year. Investment gains within the 401(k) account grow tax-deferred, meaning taxes are not owed until withdrawals are made in retirement. Some employers offer matching contributions to their employees' traditional 401(k) accounts, which is essentially free money added to the employee's retirement savings.
Penalty-free withdrawals from a Traditional 401(k) are permitted at age 59^1/2. These withdrawals are taxed as ordinary income in retirement. This means that when employees start taking distributions from their account, they will owe income tax on the amount withdrawn, rather than capital gains tax, as is typical for investment gains.
Roth 401(k): Taxes now, no taxes later
Employees contribute a portion of their after-tax income to their Roth 401(k) account through payroll deductions. Unlike traditional 401(k) contributions, Roth 401(k) contributions do not reduce taxable income in the year they are made.
While employers may still offer matching contributions to a Roth 401(k), these matching contributions are made on a pre-tax basis and are deposited into a separate traditional 401(k) account. This means that while employees contribute to their Roth 401(k) with after-tax dollars, employer matches are made with pre-tax dollars, and taxes will be owed on withdrawals of the employer contributions.
Penalty-free withdrawals from a Roth 401(k) are permitted once an account has been open for 5 years, and the owner reaches age 59^1/2. These withdrawals, inclusive of investment gains, are tax-free. Since contributions are made with after-tax dollars, employees have already paid taxes on the money they contribute, so they do not owe taxes on withdrawals in retirement.
^(\Roth 401(k)* funds can be accessed earlier than 591/2 in some cases. See:)) ^{Rule of 55, Rule 72t}

Early Withdrawal Taxes and Penalties

Withdrawing funds early from your 401(k) is costly. For both Traditional 401(k)s and Roth 401(k)s, a 10% penalty is paid on the distributions. So, let's say you withdraw $10,000 for your downpayment. The distribution will be reduced to $9,000. Uncle Sam is taking $1,000 for touching your retirement savings early. Ouch!
And he isn't done.
Traditional 401(k): Taxes on Early Withdrawals
Any amount withdrawn from a traditional 401(k) is generally treated as ordinary income for tax purposes. This means that the withdrawn amount is added to your taxable income for the year in which the withdrawal is made. When made early, you will owe federal income taxes on the withdrawn amount at your marginal\* income tax rate. Additionally, depending on your state of residence, you may owe state income taxes on the withdrawal as well.
Roth 401(k): Taxes on Early Withdrawals
When understanding the rules around early withdrawals from a Roth 401(k), it is important to differentiate between your contributions (money you earned outside the account and put into the account) from your investment gains (money earned by your investments within the account).

• Contributions: Since taxes were already paid on the employee (your) contributions, you can always withdraw them *tax-*free (but not penalty-free).
• Gains: Taxes have not been paid on the investment gains, so taxes will be owed on the withdrawal. The withdrawn gains will again be taxed at your marginal* tax rate.

^\)^{Note: The early withdrawal penalty can be waived in some circumstances. A FTHB purchase is not one of them. Note: column 3 is 401(ks. Column 4 is IRAs, which are not discussed here.})
What is a marginal tax rate, and why is it important?
Your marginal tax rate is the tax rate you pay on the last dollar of your income. In a progressive tax system like that of the United States, tax rates increase as income rises. Your marginal tax rate corresponds to the highest tax bracket into which your income falls.
For example, let's say the tax system has three brackets:

• 10% for income up to $10,000
• 20% for income between $10,001 and $50,000
• 30% for income above $50,000

If you earn $60,000, your marginal tax rate would be 30% because that's the rate applied to the last dollar you earned, which falls within the highest bracket.
Your early withdrawals fall into the "last dollar you earned" category. Meaning every (taxable) dollar withdrawn will be taxed at the highest rate possible - 30% in the example above. Your marginal tax rate could be above or below this number. See what your marginal tax bracket is for 2024 here.
Example: Early Withdrawal from Traditional 401(k) for down payment
John and Emily are a 30-year-old married couple looking to purchase their first home in Florida. They earn a combined $150,000/year. Emily has liberally funded her Traditional 401(k) and has amassed a balance of $100,000. They have also been saving for a downpayment on their first home. They have managed to accumulate $50,000 for a down payment and feel ready to start shopping.
John and Emily find themselves under contract on a $250,000 home that suits all their needs (lol, i know, bear with me). They expect closing costs of $15,000. Unfortunately, their mortgage lender decides they are only willing to extend $200,000 (John has some credit card debt and drives a Ferrari he bought with 0 down).
Uh oh. John and Emily do not have enough cash for both the down payment and the $15,000 in closing costs. Good thing Emily has some extra money stashed away for retirement, right? Let's see what it costs for Emily to tap into her Traditional 401(k)...
Emily withdraws $15,000 for the closing costs. The withdrawal will first be hit with the 10% penalty, which is $1,500.
John and Emily file jointly, putting them in the 22% marginal federal tax bracket. They will be subject to an additional $3,300 in taxes from the distribution.
Fortunately, they're in Florida, so there are no state taxes owed.
It cost Emily and John $4,800 to withdraw their $15,000.
John and Emily walk away with $10,200 cash to show for their $15,000 withdrawal. Had they never touched that $15,000, it would have been worth $261,741 by the time they retired at age 60.
See how expensive an early, unqualified Traditional 401(k) withdrawal would be for you.
Ok, so withdrawing seems like a bad idea. What about borrowing from a 401(k)?

What is a 401(k) loan?

A 401(k) loan is a loan taken out by a participant in a 401(k) retirement plan, where the individual borrows money from their own 401(k) account balance and agrees to repay it according to the terms set by the plan administrator, typically with interest.
By borrowing the money from your 401(k), the money is removed from what it was invested in. If those investments return 25% during the period which the money is borrowed, you, unfortunately, do not reap the rewards. Conversely, if those investments return -25%, you, fortunately, do not bear those losses.
Sounds like an even-sided risk, right? It's a 50/50 chance the market goes up or down? Not necessarily.

401(k) Loan: The Costs to Borrow

Traditional Borrowing Costs: Fees and Interest
401(k) loans typically cost $75-$125 to apply and originate the loan, which is actually pretty good. For those of you looking at your settlement statements, this looks pretty attractive compared to your mortgage origination fee and other up-front borrowing expenses.
Typically, retirement plans charge the current prime rate (8.50%, currently) plus 1% or 2% in interest on 401(k) loans. That interest, along with your repayments, is deposited into your account, and reinvested. Your repayments are deducted from your paycheck, although this time, after-tax. That means, for every $1 you pay back to the loan, you need to earn about $1.30 (give or take, depending on your state and federal tax bracket).
It is important to note that, although you are "paying yourself back", the interest is not free.
Interest on 401(k) loans is designed to keep you on track for retirement. As previously stated, your money is withdrawn from the market, so it will miss out the full benefits of compound growth during the repayment period. In other words: returns that would have otherwise been earned passively, you are now footing the bill for - with after-tax dollars - and it still might not be enough.
Opportunity Cost: Not Seen, but Felt
The typical 401(k) loan term is 5 years, although it can be paid back quicker. Historically, the stock market sees positive returns over a 5-year time frame. Over the past 5 years (as of April 30,2024), the S&P 500 has seen returns of 70.94%, or 11.32% annualized. The S&P 500 Index delivered its worst five-year return of -6.6% per year over the five years ending in February 2009.
As you can see, it's not quite a 50/50 shot at whether the market will see positive returns over a 5-year period. As you increase the time frame, positive market returns become even more reliable.
Even at today's higher prime rate, the interest rate on a 401(k) loan would not have kept pace with S&P 500 over the last 5 years. This means you would end up with a lower 401(k) balance, and you foot the bill for the growth.
Example: Taking a loan from a Traditional 401(k) for a down payment
Anne borrowed from her 401(k) in 2019 at a 6% interest rate in order to increase her down payment on her condo.
Assuming $10,000 borrowed at 6%, Anne will have made $11,580 in total payments by the end of the term. That $10,000, if left never borrowed, would be worth $15,357.
In order to pay that $11,580, the Anne earned $15,054, and had to pause normal contributions to the 401(k) that would have otherwise deferred taxes on those earnings.
In the end, that someone has $11,580 in their 401k - all paid in with after-tax dollars. Had the money never been borrowed, and Anne contributed that $15,054 earned to their 401(k), her 401(k) balance would be $30,411 - a difference of $18,831 at the end of the 5-year period.
After 30-years, that difference is somewhere in the ballpark of $548,000.\*
^(\Calculation assumes $15,054 in earnings was invested monthly at a flat rate of $250.90/month for 60 months at a 11.32% average annual return, then compounded at 10% average annual monthly return with no additional contributions.)*
Caveat: that $10,000 was invested in her condo, and that is important to factor.
Assuming her condo has increased in value by 50% over the past 5 years (8.45% annualized rate of return), that $10,000 is worth now worth $15,000 in home equity.
Concluding the 5-year period, Anne as a total of $26,580 to show for her decision to borrow between her $11,580 401(k) balance and $15,000 home equity. Her net worth is $3,831 less than it would be had she not taken out the loan.

Summary

While accessing 401(k) funds for a down payment on a home may seem like a viable option, it's crucial to weigh the associated costs, penalties, and long-term implications. Understanding the intricacies of early withdrawals and loans from 401(k) accounts empowers individuals to make informed financial decisions that align with their short-term goals and long-term goals.

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Frequently Asked Questions below!
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Shops

Retailers:
AmiAmi HobbySearch Mandarake (sells rare figures) Good Smile Company Online Shop (often has exclusives) Good Smile Company US shop Crunchyroll Store Hobby Link Japan (aka HLJ) Solaris Japan (MFC partner) BigBadToyStore (MFC partner, US retailer) Big in Japan (also has proxy service) Tokyo Otaku Mode FigureHaven Archonia (EU) Yorokonde (EU) Figuya (EU) Gamersheek (UK) Jungle
List of retailers on MFC
/AnimeFigures' List of Retailers
Community Guide to Shopping in Japan

Blogs/News:

Nekomagic (News/Previews) NyaaFigurines (Reviews/Releases) Kahotan's Blog (News/Reviews) Figma Blog (JP)

Buying & Shipping

1. What’s the best place to buy my anime figures from?
That’s going to depend a lot on what works for you, but most people around here buy them from Amiami, Big in Japan, Hobby Search, HobbyLink Japan, or Tokyo Otaku Mode. If none of those work for you for whatever reason, there’s a list of reputable retailers in the sidebar that you can check out at any time. Be extra careful when ordering figures from websites like Amazon or ebay, as there are a lot of bootlegs on those sites. Don’t be afraid to ask in our Bootleg Megathread if you’re unsure.
2. What differences are there between the shipping options I get from most Japanese shops?
Below is a rundown of the main shipping choices you’ll get at most retailers. Keep in mind that if an order is large enough you will be forced to use one of the more expensive options, as SAL shipments have lower size and weight restrictions.

• Unregistered SAL: Sometimes referred to as uSAL, is usually the cheapest method. It does not come with any tracking or insurance. Usually takes up 2-4 weeks for delivery.
• Registered SAL: Sometimes referred to as rSAL, is insured for the declared value up to 6,000 yen. It comes with a tracking number and usually takes 2-4 weeks for delivery.
• EMS: This method of shipping is much faster than either SAL options, usually arriving within a week of shipment. EMS shipments are insured for the declared value up to 2,000,000 yen.
• Airmail
• E-packet
• Surface: Shops don't offer this very often. It's an actual cargo ship and slow as a result.
  
• DHL: Becoming more available as an alternative to EMS on AmiAmi and other sites. Can be less expensive than EMS and of comparable speed, but may be more reliant on the specific geographical area being shipped to. The price is also determined by the size of the box. Offers their own tracking.
  

3. I placed two+ orders for figures at different times. Will my items be shipped together, or will I have to pay shipping twice?
Most shops will ask you to pay shipping on a per-order basis, but here are some that will allow combined shipping:

• Amiami: You can combine orders here, as long as the orders ship in the same month. It doesn’t matter if the item is new or preowned. Any preorders that are set for that month can also be combined with other orders for that month. However, be aware that if the preorder gets delayed, Amiami will remove that item from that month’s shipment and place it on a new order. To combine orders on Amiami, use the “Combine Orders” feature under “My Account”.
  
• Hobby Search: Hobby Search will let you combine orders that release in the same month, but you cannot combine in stock items with preorders. If you want to combine multiple preorders, or multiple in stock items, you can do so using the “Order Recombination” feature on your account page.
  
• HobbyLink Japan: At HLJ, you have the option to send paid orders to their “Private Warehouse”, where you can store them for up to 2 months. When you’re ready to ship the items, you simply select which items to ship and HLJ will combine them into one shipment for you. To use this, just select the “Private Warehouse” option as shipping when you order.
  

If you’re unsure about whether or not a shop we haven’t listed will combine your orders, please refer to their individual FAQs.
4. When will I get charged for my preorder?
Most Japanese shops charge you once the item is in stock and ready for shipment. When that happens, they will send you an email asking for payment. Some shops (mostly overseas ones), will allow you to pay for the item up front though, if you’d like. A few with that option are:

• Big in Japan (Japanese store)
• Tokyo Otaku Mode
• Anime Island
• Crunchyroll

Keep in mind that overseas stores will likely get the figure a few months after Japanese ones, so pay attention to the release date stated on the website you are buying from so as to avoid that confusion.
5. Should I expect to pay customs fees when importing figures?
That depends on where you live. Here’s a quick rundown:

• Australia: 10% GST is now assessed up front.
• Canada: Minimum declared value for charges is around CAD$20 for regular shipments, and CAD$60 for gifts (gifting something only seems to lower the declared value by about CAD$40, not deplete it completely). When using Amiami, try their Small Air Packet option. It comes with tracking, gets there in about the same time as EMS, and is better at avoiding customs.
• European Union: As of 1st July 2021, VAT has to be paid on all goods imported from outside of the EU. Retailers are supposed charge VAT for purchases under €150, however many Japanese retailers currently do not, so VAT will be charged when your order arrives in the EU. Orders that are >€150, VAT and duty will be charged by your local customs.
• UK: As of 1st January 2021, VAT is to be charged by retailers for orders <£135. However, customs isn't currently charging VAT on parcels valued at <£135, even if the VAT hasn't been paid. Goods >£135 will have their VAT and duty calculated and charged by customs.
• Mexico: Minimum declared value for customs fees is USD$300 for shipments by post, and USD$50 for shipments by courier.
• United States: A shipment has to have a declared value of USD$2,000 before customs starts hitting you with fees, so you most likely won’t have to worry about them at all.

6. The figure I want is an exclusive, how do I go about ordering one outside of Japan?
You have three options for this:
A. Big in Japan is known to stock exclusive figures and ship to other countries. Usually the price is higher because they build in their proxy fees, but it’s easier than worrying about using a forwarder or proxy service. If you live in the US, Crunchyroll, Right Stuf, and Tokyo Otaku Mode also get exclusives sometimes, but out of the states the shipping can get expensive.
B. Forwarding Services: A forwarder is someone who you ship an exclusive item to so that they can forward the package on to you, usually for a flat fee + shipping. When using a forwarder you still make the purchase yourself, and enter their address into the shipping field. When the box arrives at the forwarder they will then stick your address onto the package and send it on its way.
Some popular forwarders are:

• Big in Japan
• Tenso

Be sure to read each sites instructions on forwarding carefully!
C. Proxy Services: With a proxy, you tell them what the item you’re looking for is and they will purchase it in your stead. This is handy for when a company doesn’t accept foreign credit cards, or you’re having trouble navigating a Japanese website.
Some popular proxies are:

• Big in Japan (Won’t proxy for Yahoo Auctions)
• From Japan

Again, be sure you thoroughly read through each sites proxy instructions.
7. I see a bunch of really cheap figures that ship from China on ebay. Are those okay to buy?
Generally, no. They’re most likely bootlegs. If you want a second opinion on that, feel free to ask in the Bootleg Megathread that’s always stickied at the top of the sub.
8. What’s a bootleg, and how can I avoid buying them?
A bootleg is a counterfeit figure often made using rejected molds of the official product. They are usually priced significantly lower than the genuine article, and in order to make their profit, bootleggers use lower quality materials and have less attention to detail- resulting in a substandard figure.
The Bootleg Megathread that I mentioned in question 7 is a great tool to avoid buying any bootlegs. It has a few tips and tricks to avoiding them to begin with, and a few more on how to spot them if you’re worried you might already own one.
9. Does anyone know when figure X is going to be released? How do I know if it was delayed?
My Figure Collection (sometimes referred to as MFC) does an excellent job of staying on top of information like release dates and delays. If you’re curious about an upcoming figures release date, check there first. This information can be found directly under the “Releases” section on a figure’s entry. If you only see a month and a year in that section, it means the release date has not yet been announced by the manufacturer, and there is still a chance the figure could be delayed.
If you make an account on MFC you can also subscribe to comments, changes, and pictures via a checkbox on the right hand side of a figure’s listing. Subscribing to any of these things will allow MFC to send you an email anytime the subscription in question updates. Subscribing to “changes” is a great way to keep up with release dates and delays, among other things.
10. The figure I want is long sold out at normal retailers! What’s the best place to pick it up in the aftermarket?
A list of reputable retailers can be found under the “Shops” section of the /AnimeFigures sidebar. They all sell legitimate products, and many of them also sell figures second hand. However, the most frequently suggested second hand sites are Mandarake and Amiami- who has a preowned section that they update every night save Sundays and Japanese holidays around 1PM JST and again around 6PM JST.
AmiAmi grades their pre-owned items on a letter scale. The general consensus from buyers is that their ratings are conservative, so unless the item and/or packaging is specifically indicated as having significant flaws, pre-owned items from them are usually in at least as good a condition as their rating suggests.
Note: When you search Mandarake, you’ll get the best results by using the Japanese characters for whatever you are searching. If you don’t know them, you can find them on MFC by clicking on any of the “details” in that figure’s listing.
11. Amiami has a figure I’m interested in labeled as “For sale in Japan only”. Does this mean I can’t order it without a proxy or forwarder?
No, you can still order it. Amiami’s English site has that warning on many items, and it’s mostly meant to inform you that this product was made for a Japanese market, and as such, will have Japanese speaking/writing in it- so don’t expect any instructions to be in English. If Amiami doesn’t want foreigners buying a certain product, they won’t even list it on their English site.

Displaying Your Figures

12. What display cases do you recommend?
If you live near an Ikea try out one of these:

• Klingsbo
• Billy (Often used with Morliden doors (now the HÖGBO and glass shelves.)
• Detolf: Formerly the go-to choice for inexpensive display cabinetry, the Detolf was first made flimsier around 2020 and then essentially phased out of the name, to become the BLÅLIDEN. Knockoff versions of widely-varying quality are commonly found on other shopping sites these days, though.

*If you decided on a Detolf, you might find that there is a lot of wasted space. Here are a few tutorials on raising the shelves or and adding extra ones in.

• Using metal clips
• Using acrylic supports and PVC pipe

If you don’t live near an Ikea, Amazon has a few display options, though they are more expensive. Also keep an eye on your local Craigslist (or your country’s equivalent) and stores near you that are closing up.
13. What lighting do you guys recommend?
Ikea’s Dioder LED strips were discontinued after a long run. A current version is the Vattensten, if you're inclined to buy your case and lights at the same time.
LED strips have become very commonly available in recent years; most hardware and home furnishing stores carry a selection now. Just make sure that the lights don’t get too hot!
14. What are those clear plastic boxes that I see under everyone’s figures in their collection posts, and where can I get them?
Those are called risers. Most of us use standard acrylic risers like these. Some other, easy to find things that have been suggested are:

• Plastic picture cubes
• Card Deck Boxes
• If you’re feeling adventurous, try making your own!

Check your local hobby store for the first 2 options, or your local hardware store if you want to make your own.
Another common suggestion is to visit The Container Store if you have one near you. They have a lot of things to choose from that can suit a variety of needs. Be sure to check out their standard acrylic risers, their Amac boxes, and the various display cases they sell (baseball cases, mini car cases. hockey puck cases, etc).
15. Should I keep my figures sealed?
That is, of course, up to you really, but here are a few things to keep in mind when debating this question:

• Keeping it sealed can actually damage your figure. PVC figures usually have something called plasticizer in them, and that plasticizer needs to be able to breath. If a PVC figure isn’t exposed to oxygen, after a period of time the plasticizer starts to break down and form a sticky substance on the surface of the figure. Simply opening your figures and taking them out of the box prevents this from happening. If you happen to find plasticizer goo on one of your figures, Kahotan has a handy guide for dealing with it.
• Unlike some other figure markets, keeping an anime figure sealed won’t raise its value by a whole lot. In fact, because of the plasticizer problem mentioned above, your figure could actually be in better condition if you open it versus keeping it sealed.

Finding the Right Figure(s) for You

16. What are "scales" and "prizes"? What is the difference between them?
Those are classifications for figures based on a few factors.

• "Prizes" are generally more simply produced figures which are intended to be given as prizes for playing arcade games. They are inexpensive and lack the detail of scale figures, though some prize figure lines have standouts which may approach lower-end scales in quality. That is uncommon and often depends on the individual figure.
• "Scales" are called such because they are nominally designed to be proportional to the dimensions of the character which they are based on. They are generally of much better manufacture and materials than prize figures, allowing for more detail in painting, accessories, or complex poses.
• "Trading" figures appear in gashapon machines or as blind boxes on shop counters, often as sets which include multiple characters. As suggested by the class name, the randomness encourages trading. They are usually very inexpensively-produced, though as with prizes, some series are better than others.
• "Non-scale" encompasses a variety of other categories. It is often used to describe poseable figure lines such as figma and Nendoroids.

In recent years producers such as Good Smile Company attempted to further bridge the gap between prize quality and scales by introducing figure lines which are intended to be moderately-priced while retaining a higher level of detail than the typical prize figure, to varying levels of success.
17. There are so many figure companies! Who makes good figures?!
Obviously this is a very subjective question, but as a general starting point, here are a few well renowned figure companies:

• Alter
• Max Factory
• Good Smile Company
• Kotobukiya (usually hit or miss for people. Use your best judgement based off of the prototype)
• Flare
• Stronger

18. I really love “series X / character X”- how can I check if any figures were ever made for it?
My Figure Collection can be your best friend here. Simply do a search on the name of the series or character using the search bar located at the top right of the screen, and all associated figures pop up!
Alternatively, if you’re looking at a figure’s MFC entry, most of the text under the “Details” section can be clicked on and used to run a search.
19. How can I commission a custom figure?
None of the major figure companies (Alter, Kotobukiya, Good Smile Company, etc.) will take a commission for a single figure. This thread has a few websites in it that you can check out, or you can look into garage kits. Some kit painters would be willing to resculpt, frankenstein together, or otherwise modify kits for the right price.
If you're looking for help completing a garage kit, /brushforhire may be useful.

Keeping Up with New Announcements

20. How can I keep up with figure news (announcements, updates, etc.)?
Most people use a MFC combined with any or all of the following news sites:

• Neko Magic
• Alter’s Blog (In Japanese)
• Kahotan’s Blog (Only GSC and their sister companies)

Many figure companies are active on Twitter, so following them there is recommended for quicker news.
To use MFC for this I’ll quote question #9.

If you make an account on MFC you can also subscribe to comments, changes, and pictures via a checkbox on the right hand side of a figure’s listing. Subscribing to any of these things will allow MFC to send you an email anytime the subscription in question updates. Subscribing to “changes” is a great way to keep up with release dates and delays, among other things.

Most companies have one or more Twitter accounts. Some examples: Good Smile Company sales, Good Smile's USA branch, Max Factory, AmiAmi Hobby News.
21. Everyone’s excited about something called Wonfes….. what the heck is that?!
WonFes (short for Wonder Festival) is a biannual figure expo where many figure producers (both large and small) show off new sculpts and updates to figures already under way. Most companies save their most exciting announcements for WonFes, so we all look forward to the expo whenever it rolls around! Winter Wonder Festival is usually held in February, while Summer Wonder Festival is usually in July. The event has also spread to Shanghai, in the late spring.
22. One or two (or 15) figures were announced at WonFes that I’m really excited about! How can I keep track of their progress once the event is over?
MFC is always really quick about getting new WonFes announcements (or any others throughout the year, for that matter) listed in their database, so we suggest using that. To find a figure from the event you can search any number of things, including the name of the character or the name of the show. You can also use the tag search to search “WonderFestival 20xx_[season]” to see all items announced at that event.

Trying to find a lawyer to talk to - in meanwhile, was hoping to pick some brains.
This Occurred in California.
I'm a finance professional that works with companies doing M&A. This was my first Sell-side on the front lines.
Facts:

• Received stock options subject to accelerated vesting & right to receive cash on change in control.
• I waived these rights and rolled some of my options at deal consummation.

I chose to waive these rights because It was communicated to me that I would receive two things:

• Participation in an LTIP phantom plan agreement going forward that was limited to those who rolled their options - A very small group of 10-12 people.
• A substantial transaction bonus that would coincide with my involvement with the sell-side deal and align with peers at my level.
• I was told by not rolling my options, I would not look like a "team player" and #2 could be impacted depending on my decision.
• I was told I would receive favorable tax treatment (capital gains, etc).

Upon deal consummation, a few things occurred

• The new owners, who actually controlled the LTIP, expanded the LTIP agreement to a large # of people, not subject to being asked to roll their investments. This had the effect of diluting the value of the LTIP significantly (to a small # of people that rolled options to many other employees). The VP of FP&A at the time confirmed our understanding of our decision together.
  
• The transaction bonus was cut by 60%, quoting I had only worked there 2 of the last 5 years, so I would only receive 40% of the calculated amount, despite being told I'd receive a bonus that aligned with my peers & based on my option rolling.
  
• There were other substantial issues - Such as being given these agreements the same day I was told I had to sign them or else I would put the whole deal at risk, and other high pressure tactics.
  
• The tax treatment is now out the window for many reasons - but at least 20% or so of it will be ordinary income because the 409 (A) issues they screwed up on.
  
• I was given this option & 1 day to sign and return all paperwork, 100s of pages, or I would be "halting the deal" and it would be a huge problem.
  

So in short

1. Promise

Due to this gross misrepresentation, I left the company and pursued other activities, leaving 75% of my then unvested shares forfeited.
This amounts to about $75,000 at the time of leaving.
In retrospect, and after a few more years of M&A experience and going through deals- this feels like way way way bad - fraud/gross negligence/etc - I made a # of decisions based on information I was told by management.
Is this something that you think I have a valid claim for, and would be worth pursuing? My only hesitation has been that it's a very niche, often expensive area of law that mostly are on the side of firms. I really have no idea who to even contact. I've been trying to cold-email lawyers.