I, 25 f, have a family that has a tendency to talk about everybody and everything. Most specifically my aunt, we will call her tara, 45 f. Tara talks about everyone so much, she even talks about her own kids. Important detail, she’s also my neighbor. I have been on and off with my child’s father for a few years, and now we are at a perfect place and doing really well, so my child and I stay at his place a lot. My family is not his biggest fan due to the issues we have had in the past.
Well, Sunday was Mother’s Day. My family, my dad’s family I might add, planned a zoo trip. I have a zoo pass which allows me to take one additional adult and 6 kids for free. A few days before, my child ended up getting strep throat. And I also did not feel well. By Sunday it was no longer contagious due to antibiotics but still was getting rid of the scarlet fever caused by strep throat. I also still was not feeling well by Sunday. We were staying at my boyfriends all weekend he helped me take care of our sick child and helped take care of me. I told my family that due to us being sick we would not be going to the zoo. My dad was upset and tried to ask if my child could go but I said no because she was still a little under the weather, and it was Mother’s Day I wanted to spend my day with her. He had an attitude but I ignored it, I couldn’t help that we were sick.
Monday I went home, and my family all came and sat on my porch. We all live on the same block. My aunt had an attitude with me the whole time, so I’m not even sure why she came over. She had short responses to everything I said and also had an attitude with my daughter it seemed like. I just brushed it off because she is the type of person that you never know what mood you’ll get from her. If she’s in a good mood she’s great and if not, everyone has to deal with her attitude.
Today, my brothers girlfriend told me that everyone was mad at me for not going to the zoo. So I texted my cousin that I’m close with and asked if she heard anyone talk crap about me for it. She said that at the zoo she asked where I was and my aunt replied and said “they are sick, but how sick can they be”. My cousin said she asked if we were home, and my aunt said “no she’s up her babydads butt at his house”. My cousin said she just ignored it and kept going because she knows how my aunt is. i explained to my cousin how sick we were and that I just didn’t want to get anyone else sick and she understood. My grandma who went, was there when I took my daughter temp a few days before and that she had a fever so she knew about her being as sick as she was, and didn’t stick up for me when I was talked about. She seems to be afraid of my aunt, her daughter, because any time my aunt goes on a rage on somebody my grandma stays silent, and usually nobody deserves the way she talks to them.
My family apparently thinks I lied about being sick so I could be with my boyfriend on Mother’s Day. So, AITAH?
Side note- I was never asked to go to the zoo I was told we were all going.

(English is my second language and I’m too tired to even check the grammars. It’s 4AM I can’t sleep)
A little background story I was a person who have no idea how or what to do with video games. I first got my PC back in 2020 because of online class and the first thing I put on my hard drive is Valorant because of my friends, soon right after I discovered that this kind of game just not for me but I kept played because all of my friends played and I just wanted to had something to talked to them.
For almost a year I got yelled at, raged at, made fun of my life, my gender by all kinds of people including my friends, to the point that I feel… very insecure “I’m a honor student with a part time job, but I could not play a game A GAME?” But I couldn’t stop because….my whole school was obsessed with this game.(To the point we got a “tournament” for this game and it was in the WORST management I’d ever seen)
The worst part? I got SH and stalked IRL for 6 months by a “friend” of friend of mine who I met through this game because I trusted him that he would help me. None of my friends who play this game with me seem to care about it. I got gaslighted and victim blaming so hard that I got a long list of mental illnesses (Panic attacks, depression you name it)
*There actually a lot of details and a lot more stories of something like this but I’m not comfortable sharing it.
I stopped play this game all together. All those time I played it because of my friends but I had to made a choice.
I changed my life, figured out my future and stuff, changed school, and started to made some new friends…
“Hi new friend! Do you play Val?” -An actual first message from my new friend (My luck must be so damn good.)
Apparently tons of my new friends also play Valorant but they were super nice to me and understand me for not being able to play, so when I felt better I started to play again with them, but this time I really enjoyed it, REALLY enjoyed it.
Last week I realized I spent all of my free time dedicate to anything related this game. I got hooked.
I always feel like I want to play again and again. I found myself watching people streaming while doing absolutely anything the whole day. I started to catching up the whole timeline of this game and some of the professional team like crazy. Almost bought a bundle in a game without thinking anything at all. Start to obsessed with headshots and game score so badly. Watching all the Valorant related stuff until my whole FYP just a Valorant page.
I have this idea of wanting to play like my friends or some of the professionals. I keep playing until I win so I could go to sleep.
All the of my school life and work life still the same nothing changed. Just my freetime are now all Valorant related. I’m so scared that I would end up addicted to this game and have my life ruined.
Should I get help or change this whole thing while I can?
I don’t understand I got hurt so badly from this game before? Why suddenly I have this idea of playing Iike a pro player?

I recently found out I could get in-app purchases for free using lucky patcher but it doesn't seem to work at all. I did everything all the other posts say to do but the game always crashes seconds after opening, I've honestly gotten so mad over this and everything I look for doesn't seem to help at all, AND I lost my world too so that also sucks.
I'm using 1.7.5 and I'm on the Samsung z fold 4, so I'm not sure if I'm able to do this since I haven't seen anyone talking about the phone versions changing anything. Downloading the blockheads apk by itself makes the game run perfectly, but when I try to run the modded one it crashes a few seconds after startup or just refuses to open.
I've tried the proxy too, and ive checked the switches, and I've tried fiddling around with different settings and nothing seems to work
Can anyone help me figure this out? It would be TREMENDOUSLY appreciated

Former Colorado Buffaloes F Tristan Da Silva declared for the draft and is 100% committed: https://twitter.com/DraftExpress/status/1785032667370832128 It's his birthday today...he is 23 years old. Born in Germany to a Brazilian father and German mother, with a brother who also played in the States at Stanford (Oscar), Da Silva made the jump from Bayern Munich's youth academy to Colorado. He improved every season of his four year career and now is headed to the professional ranks.
Da Silva measured in at 6'8.25 w/out shoes and a 6'10.25 wingspan at the combine. 217 pounds. He's got the height/length you're looking for from a combo forward, although he's on the thinner side. He doesn't have the widest frame but I do think he can gain muscle from where he currently is. He already has year to year and it's something that'll be important for him to continue to add as strength concerns are one of his biggest question marks as a prospect.
Da Silva's athleticism is something that has been called into question. I've read the posts about him in recent days on here, which is somewhat why I saved him for last of the three Colorado guys. I wanted to cut to the chase and really see what people think. I think he's a better athlete than some think he is, but obviously, he isn't a standout athlete either. His lateral quickness is viewed in a negative light by some but it really isn't bad. His lateral quickness is above average. He can hang with guards on switches. He can hang with most forwards. His length really aids him on switches against smaller players. He has the mobility to stay linked and will contest/block when they put a shot up.
Da Silva's issues athletically are that he doesn't have great balance and doesn't have great flexibility. On a straight line drive, Da Silva fares well laterally. He can handle a crossover, he can handle some counters and stick with guards/wings. But it's when he's really forced to make a quick change of direction and reaction when he has his struggles. His biggest issue athletically is that he's not the quickest twitch. He's mobile, he has good feet, he's coordinated, but he's not the most fluid and he's not the quickest twitch. His defensive footwork is very good when he's not being handsy, but unfortunately he does get handsy at times on the drive.
Defending quick rips closing out defensively for example is something he struggles with. He doesn't react consistently well to initial moves. He often does, but not consistently. You can get by him defensively with a quick initial move. His all around defensive awareness is worse than some people seem to think it is...ball watches a ton, back cut a ton, misses out on rebounds, misses out on rotations. When he's focused and dialed in, he's a fantastic rotater. He makes on time, sharp rotations. He helps the helper. He hustles and flies around defensively and is active shoring gaps. But he doesn't do that consistently. He loses focus way too much, for a guy who is billed as a 3/D player. His screen navigation is pretty substandard for a veteran. Just does not navigate traffic well enough and strength sees him bumped off spots when navigating screens. He doesn't get taken out of plays, but he does end up behind plays. He can recover with length and hustle at times, but not always.
His lack of strength hurts his ability to defend the post. He can be a little too upright defensively and while he will battle in the post at times, he can be pretty weak down there. Not being down in a stance possession to possession means you can drive into him from the post and the perimeter. Were a few possessions he actually fell down with drivers going into his chest, and he couldn't maintain his balance. He is generally good at closing out on balance and in a disciplined way but not always...he gets jumpy on defense a little. He overhelps a lot defensively, ends up in no man's land, and gives up open 3's or drives off closeouts...one of his biggest negatives on the defensive end.
He does use his length really well on contests when he stays in front of drivers, he defends PnR ballhandlers well, and he uses his length well in passing lanes. He isn't a major event maker defensively but will break up passes and generate steals with his length and activity off ball. When he's locked in, he's a very good team defender. He's simply not always locked in and he just does not have the physical tools to not be locked in every single possession, either on the perimeter or post. He's one of those guys who's versatile defensively but in a tweener way. He's not really an elite option on anyone, but he's capable. He doesn't have the instincts or the toughness to be a guy who can switch up the lineup, but he is capable against 2/3/4 positions.
Da Silva is a pretty mediocre rebounder for his size which is another red flag surrounding him as a prospect, he's not a bad one but also not someone who's necessarily pursuing balls aggressively by any means. He will be expected to be a contributor on the boards as a swing forward and not being able to do so will undercut his value.
Da Silva has a unique blend of skills on the offensive end. His jump shot is his best trait. He was awesome as a midrange shooter this year and he shot 39% from 3 on 5 attempts. 83.5% from the line, and has shot at least 37% on increasing numbers of attempts the last three seasons. His shot is for real...great mechanics. Great extension, great balance. No wasted motion. He makes shots off screens, and he's an elite C&S guy who does a good job creating space for himself off the catch when coming off screens and when relocating on the perimeter. He has some movement shooting ability, but for the most part he's someone who works his way off flare screens, out of DHO's, off-ball screens and leaking out to the perimeter, and catches and fires. He's a very good pull up shooter. He likes the pull up out of the PnR, off curls and off DHO's in the midrange. He will duck in and find himself open around the FT line and take the FT jumper; he's good at finding gaps for himself for jumpers all over the court. He has a little bit of PnP ability. He sets solid screens himself to open teammates for 3's. He does a very good job slipping screens and diving to the basket or leaking out to the perimeter and obtaining easy looks from the outside. He's always catch ready and he's quick into his motion as a shooter across the board which along with his size makes him hard to contest.
Da Silva will find rollers and cutters out of the PnR. He finds the dump off guy when cutting to the rim. He moves the ball and will make the right read within the flow off the offense. He will bring the ball up and can facilitate and get his team into offense. He's not really an advanced playmaker but has some drive and dish ability and can make solid reads as a live dribble passer, but he also overpenetrates and turns the ball over with bounce passes that don't hit the target. He turns the ball over a lot that way. Gets cut off on drives and attempts a bounce pass to get himself out of trouble. Picks up his dribble at inopportune times. He's not an amazing ballhandler overall...he's a bit gumby like with his movements, he's a bit herky jerky, long strides, has a spin move he likes, and he has a good crossover that does gain him space, but he doesn't have incredible burst nor a special first step and he does not have a ton of advanced moves. He accelerates well and he will get to the rim off his own creation but he isn't always gonna create separation with his handle, and he can lose the ball while looking to create, he will have the ball stripped, and he's not always strong with the ball. He is good with the hostage dribble and keeping defenders on his back...he overall does a nice job with pace. He understands pace, he understands taking rhythm away from defenders, he does have an in-and-out move and he has pretty good control on these moves. He works his way to his spots both in the midrange and inside, in a somewhat deliberate way while still being decisive, but he will be stonewalled in the paint and on drives.
His cutting really is a special part of his game. He has awesome instincts as a cutter---he reads his defenders, and has great timing in concert with the offensive flow of the possession. He dives quickly to the basket. He's good for a few baskets a game as a cutter. He moves well off the ball in general and keeps the offense humming. Off ball screens, weaving through the defense, he stays active on the offensive end which helps keep defenses off balance.
Da Silva has an excellent ball fake. He draws fouls with it down low, and he freezes defenders with it on the perimeter which allows him to get past. He also has a jab step. He will change his stride length and draw contact on drives. He will change speeds and explode to the rim. He has a behind the back counter. He doesn't have a ton of dribble moves but does have a diversity of tools he will turn to, to get inside the paint. He overall has very good timing as a driver, which is what allows him to get inside. He uses the glass well and has opposite hand finishes in his disposal. He drives with both hands. Sometimes he'll try to bait a foul and throw up poor shots with no real chance of a finish. He will be swallowed up around the rim at times where his lack of elite athleticism/strength/ability to create space can come back to hurt him.
Da Silva really likes to use spinners, floaters and hooks around the rim. He gets good extension, has a lot of range as a finisher and will take shots from pretty far out and make them at a high rate. He has very nice touch on these shots. For a guy without tremendous halfcourt explosiveness, this is a very good skill for Da Silva to possess because it gives him an ability to beat contests and an ability to score at the rim even if he isn't able to get directly to it. He has a jump stop, eurostep at his disposal. He has a lot of craft as a creator and around the rim which allows him to be a solid overall finisher but not an elite one.
His comfort with the ball makes him a good transition player. He does well getting to and finishing against defenses that aren't set. It also makes him good against closeouts. He can be a little passive at times, which is a drawback many have had of him over the years. When decisive, he does a good job taking advantage of scrambling defenses in both the halfcourt and in transition. The coordination with the ball and the fact he takes long strides allows him to get to the rim quickly in these possessions. It also aids him as a PnR ballhandler.
Da Silva will use his size to his advantage in the post. He turns some drives into post-ups. He will find cutters and shooters from the post as a passer. He'll hit turnarounds, he'll turn in and finish with layups, he'll turn to the middle and take hook ups and floaters. He has nice touch on these shots and has nice footwork in the post and doesn't get rushed. He's someone that can take advantage of switches down low with an important wrinkle for a forward these days.
Tristan Da Silva has elicited a lot of conversation on this board the last several days. I see him as a guy who is underrated and overrated from person to person. The truth is usually somewhere in the middle. He's an interesting talent, and he's got the framework of a player who has the skills teams look for in a swing forward today, but the not every dot connects. But with his shooting and all around versatile skill set on the offensive end and he having real switchability possibilities defensively, he's someone who is viewed by most as a guy with a pretty high floor.
I'm a little bit...I'm not sure what to think honestly. I'll leave it to y'all. Are you all Thumbs Up, Down, or Across on Tristan Da Silva?

Disclaimer: the audience for this post is people who are familiar with Homeworld. I've put hundreds of hours into all the games across the series. I'm going to assume that you're familiar with the basic mechanics, story beats and tone of the original game.
Homeworld 3 has been out a few days now. Critic reviews are largely positive, and fan sentiment seems to be a mixed bag.
Personally, I give it a strong recommend. But I also understand some of the frustration: there are a few gameplay design decisions that I don't agree with that I'll get into later. Here's my detailed breakdown:

positive

graphics: amazing, no notes

• it's pretty. really, really pretty
• ships have lots of details and moving parts
• generally runs well on my mid-range computer, a few notable exceptions

camera: generally easy to control

• orbit camera still works as expected
• modern RTS-style movement gives additional flexibility
• dedicated controls for camera elevation

audio design: fantastic

• radio chatter is well done
• music is amazing (Paul Ruskay is back!)

movement & selection improvements

• right click on a 3d surface to move to a point
• sensors manager has helpful movement zones, similar to HW2
• select all damaged units in a single group with a button

environmental improvements

• denser environments are tactically interesting

new unit types

• turrets are cool, can stick to most 3d surfaces

story and worldbuilding

• characters are generally well written
• engine cutscenes are nicely coreographed

roguelike mode (War Games)

• it's fun! and a great foundation for future content
• different starting loadouts are tactically significant
• semi-random upgrades encourage you to play differently

neutral

missing features from HW2

• no subsystem targeting
• no squadrons

different narrative tone

• CGI cutscenes instead of illustrations and line art
• more character-driven than previous games

tactical changes from HW1

• no tactics (evasive/neutral/aggressive) selection
• formations seem to fill this gap

miscellaneous

• some units very finicky to control
• cover system seems underutilized
• too many single-target abilities

negative

pacing & level design issues

• limited time at mission start to build and assign unit groups
• forced hyperspace: no time to collect resources or reconstitute after a mission
• pacing feels needlessly hectic

issues with camera & selection controls

• leaving sensors manager sometimes puts you behind objects
• superstructures can block unit selection
• right clicking on units in the main view does not deselect them
• some controls in hidden menus

discussion

A bit more detail on some of the points above:
neutral: missing features from HW2
I think the general sentiment is that few people liked squadrons in HW2. Subsystems were sort of cool but kind of annoying to target in the heat of battle. I don't really miss either of these features, personally.
neutral: different narrative tone
A lot of people seem to be up in arms about this. I have to say that the character-driven CGI cutscenes do add a bit of texture to the universe, but for me, it comes the expense of the kind of epic feel of the older titles. If you think about it, older games don't really have people as characters: the spaceships themselves are the characters.
The in-engine cutscenes still look great, with cool coreography. I wish they would have done more of this, it's more true to the original style.
neutral: too many single-target abilities
Why can't I shoot my charged beams at multiple enemies? Why can't I band-box to capture multiple ships at once? Not only would more multi-select abilies makes sense tactically, it would make things easier to control: it can be hard to pick out a single enemy from a big pile of ships.
neutral: some units finicky to control
I'm thinking of units like bombers. They have a cloaking ability, which doesn't always seem to work (maybe because one of them is still firing?). It's very frustrating when you *think* you enabled the cloaking device, only to have all your units wiped out 10 seconds later because the ability didn't actually trigger.
Movement and target selection can also be an issue. Again with bombers: they have an extremely long range, but will dive heedlessly toward the enemy at close range and get chewed up instead of turning around at a reasonable distance on their attack run. They also don't spread out their targets enough: they might drop two salvos of bombs on a target that would be destroyed by just one. Torpedo frigates are the opposite: they will try and keep a very large distance from the enemy, sometimes making it difficult to get them to go where you want them to go.
neutral: tactical changes from HW1
You can set a "stance" like in HW2, and this generally works better than in that game. Units don't run all over the map in a hyper-agressive way, and will generally stick close to units they're guarding.
However you can't use "tactics" like in HW1: for example, you can't set your recon units to "evasive" to have them break formation and tie up enemy units in the same way you could in that game.
You can kind of approximate this with formations, though. If you set "no formation" then strike craft will manuever in an evasive way. It took me a while to figure this out: the game doesn't really teach this to you.
negative: pacing and level design
This is the most frustrating thing about the game, even more so because it's 100% fixable. All you would need to do is give players a little time at the beginning of a mission to build a few units and get their selection groups set up before starting mission timers.
Likewise, it would be really nice to have some cooldown time at the end of missions to collect resources and rebuild your fleet. The "forced hyperspace" is a really questionable gameplay design decision.
There's one mission in particular where you're defending a chokepoint against a large enemy fleet. By the end of the mission, your fleet is battered: I was playing on the hardest difficulty, and had no resources remaining. After the combat, there are wrecked ships everywhere that your resource collectors can salvage, but the mission ends before you can collect anything!
Instead, I had to start the next mission with no resources and a crippled fleet. There didn't seem to be any plot justification for this: it's like it's specifically designed to annoy players.
negative: issues with camera and selection controls
These issues are more minor. The first is that you can't deselect a unit directly by right-clicking. As far as I can tell, you can only do it in the unit overlay in the lower-left corner. But in that view, you can't tell _which_ unit you're delecting, since it's just a box with a pile of ships.
The large environmental objects (superstructures) are also an obstacle to selection. This is a problem, since some levels take place in large hollow structures. You can see the units in sensor mode, but if you try to click on one and there's a solid object in the way, it won't select them. This is annoying, and it forces you to waste time rotating the camera around until the object is no longer in between you and the selection.
The sensors manager can also drop you in weird places when you exit back into the standard view, particularly if you've been zooming around. Sometimes there's a big object blocking your view. Hope they can patch this.
Finally, there are hidden controls that are hard to access. There's a whole context menu that you can only find by holding 'alt' and right clicking: I had to look this up online. The command to retire a ship is hidden in this menu. If you've played these series you know that 'retire' is actually a pretty important command: your population is capped and sometimes you need to retire some ships to make room for better ones.

Conclusion

The fact that I can strongly recommend this game in spite of the issues listed above is a testament to the quality of the engine that BBI has built. The minute-to-minute gameplay feels very solid and true to the series. With a few tweaks, I think they could really improve the pacing of the single-player game.
I have high hopes for the modding scene, given that the modding tools appear to be based on a customized version of the Unreal Engine. The roguelike mode is actually a blast, and I'd love to see where they go with it. New maps and mission objectives would be welcome. I haven't played it cooperatively but I'm eager to try.
I haven't played the skirmish mode yet, and I never played the older games competitively, so I've got no opinions there. Would love to hear more from others one what they think.
Also happy to clarify any points above, please feel free to ask.

I, (18F) moved in with my boyfriend (19M) a couple of months after I turned 18, and my parents were furious and hurt. There’s a lot to unpack with this one, so bear with me.
My parents (40F and 42M) are very religious and were somewhat strict while I was growing up. I have two younger brothers, one 17 and one 8 (this will be important later). For context, my father is a pastor at a local church and my parent’s religious beliefs are the reasoning behind most if not all of their actions. Growing up, I was never a stereotypical girl. I didn’t have many female friends and was usually not accepted in groups with guys as I was a girl and we were kids. I was extroverted as a child but due to being repeatedly rejected by kids my age, I became more introverted. I was a major nerd who loved superheroes and I wanted to play sports. Again, for context, the town I grew up in was very conservative and my parents are very conservative themselves. Girls liked girl things- even if they claimed that’s not how they felt, it’s how they acted. However, as a kid, I did not realize this. I played soccer and basketball growing up, regardless of how “weird” it made me because I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. I was probably around 9 or 10 at this point. It was around this time my parents started having issues with my hobbies. I remember my parents trying to convince me to be a cheerleader because I would “like it more,” but I insisted on playing basketball. (This basketball/cheer program was through our church by the way). Because I was still young, they let it slide, but to this day I remember them being annoyed with it. This is also around the time dieting was introduced to me as well as calorie counting. I have always struggled with my weight and so has my mother, so they were very adamant on making sure I was being “healthy.” I didn’t understand it, but as a child, the only thing I was worried about was making my parents happy. A lot of discipline I received revolved around emotion. What I was doing was right or wrong and if I did something wrong, I felt terrible and awful and would often come crying to my parents about the mistakes I made, fearful of their disappointment and anger if they found things out themselves. They also made everything a moral dilemma- everything was about God and religion and as a kid, it really messed with my head. I would blame myself for everything that went wrong, seeing it as God’s punishment for my behavior. When I was 9, I went so far as to blame my grandmother’s death on myself because I was hanging out with boys instead of girls. This made me to be more of an introvert and my now anxiety disorder is much much worse.
About a year later, my parents sat down with me and my brother and told us they wanted to adopt. At first, I was very excited. I loved the idea of having another brother or sister. And I wouldn’t trade my 8 year old brother (let’s call him Scott) for anything, but adopting kids is part of what triggered a huge change in my parent’s behavior. Also- I had started getting older. I loved playing video games, watching cartoons and writing. However, these weren’t the things they wanted me to like I guess, because I started to feel their judgment become more clear and apparent as I got older. Now, I assume this is because as a kid, I just did what I was told, or my oddities were assumed to fade over time, but that is not the case anymore. Anyways, entering middle school, our family fostered a little girl, let’s call her Ally. A young woman in our church had told us that Ally’s family was out of the picture, and as her aunt, she couldn’t take her in as she was already a single mom and planned on adopting her brother, but couldn’t handle all three alone. So my family stepped in- however, we had come to find that her father was still in the picture and was actively fighting for custody. And Ally was a bit of a handful. My parents have admitted that they expected to swoop in, save a child from a hard life and be the heroes, and when things were harder than that they were very upset. Ally was about three- she remembered her mom (who was in jail i believe), her sisters, her grandma and grandpa, as well as her dad. She didn’t want our family, she wanted hers. She didn’t listen to my parents and rejected their parenting. This is what started to make my parents snap. I understand it was hard for them, but now that I’m older, I get it. She was a little girl who wanted her family. But they took her rejection very seriously and were constantly unhappy with her and made sure she knew it. Children not listening immediately was newer to them as my brother and I both did pretty much whatever they asked, and they did not take well to being told “no” by a child. 8 months after living with Ally, she was taken in by her grandparents to live with them and her sisters. The next day, my parents took my brother and I on a small trip. I’m not sure if it was to cheer us up or to celebrate. I was quite sad though- I had started to really care about Ally and had convinced myself that “God would take care of things” and I would have a sister. But I was angry- God took someone away from me and I was doing everything right. Why was he punishing me? Nothing made sense. Yet, only a year later, my parents were considering taking in another child. I wanted nothing to do with it- God had already taken one sibling away from me. I couldn’t do it again. In the end, I agreed and soon became attached to this little boy, who was two when we met him. This was Scott. I immediately became attached- and I love this kid more than I can describe- he’s my little brother and I would do anything for him.
This is where things start to go further downhill. Scott has a lot of trauma and mental issues, one of those issues being oppositional defiant disorder. That basically means that listening to any form of authority is near impossible for him, and causes him to lash out and act younger than he is. This is probably due to a number of reasons, as he was severely neglected and abused as an infant and his birth mother was on several different substances while pregnant with him, to the point where he was born high on several illegal drugs. He was left in a car seat for most of his infant life, so the back of his head is slightly flattened due to this. My parents are very obedient/disciplined-based parents, so his behavior rocked their world. In my opinion, the way they handled things with Scott was borderline abusive. There were several occasions where he would say he hated them (as young children do when they're mad) and they would flip. Telling him that if he didn’t want them that was fine. They didn’t need him. He could run back to his other parents, but his mom was in jail and his dad didn’t want him, so good luck with that. If we were in the car when this happened, they would threaten to leave him on the side of the road and good luck finding his way home. Once my mother literally pulled to the side of the road, placed him outside the car and started driving so he would “think they would leave him if his actions didn’t change,” but she turned around to get him. Because they would “never actually abandon or hurt him,” their actions were justified and perfectly fine. They would tell him he was acting like a baby when he started to cry and scream. “Little baby Scott, do you need a diaper?” Is how they would tease him when he became older, which just made his tantrums worse. They would tell him how disappointed they were with him and that he should be ashamed of himself and the way he acted because they gave him everything. They would call him, to his face, “an ungrateful manipulative piece of shit.” Because according to my parents, he could control his actions 100% and was choosing to act out to make their lives difficult. While I understand that this was hard for them, in my opinion, this in no way excuses their behavior. One time, Scott was crying and was upset (who knows why, but the kid had a lot of trauma and mental issues so it didn’t bother me too much), and my mother picked him up and put him in his room. She told him that every time he tried to leave his room, she would take away one of his stuffed animals. (He had several that he loved very much). Because this sounded so terrible to him, he ran after her trying to say it wasn’t fair. So she went into his room and took a stuffed animal. This cycle continued while he cried and begged for her to stop, because he just didn’t get it that she was going to keep doing this over and over and his trying to convince her was making it worse. Eventually, there were none left, and she told him if he didn’t stop crying she was going to throw them all away. I don’t remember what happened after that, but I do know that several of them were thrown away, if not at that time than others. There are many other instances of things like this and worse occurring, but we’d be here for a while if I tried to recount them all. Moving forwards to closer when I was moving out-
Now, several years later, when I turned sixteen, I had come to terms with the fact that I was bisexual. This went against everything my family was for, and I knew exactly how they viewed queer people. So, I started learning about different branches of Christianity and felt like I knew a God who loved me as I was and was happy in my decision to switch denominations. (My parents were baptists, and I wanted to be non-denominational). A few months after this, I decided to tell my parents the truth. I had done my best to give them hints, but I wanted to be honest with them because I trusted that they would love me and be there for me no matter what. When I told them I wanted to talk to them about something, they pushed and pressed and I had been trying to wait to talk to them until the next day. I had been seeing my high school counselor, and she suggested giving them a heads-up before springing that conversation up on them. However, after telling them to wait, they went through my phone and saw that I had researched different denominations and read different sermons on queer-accepting faith. They were livid. To be clear- I had a friend over while this was happening. We were watching a movie and joking about how I lost my phone and couldn’t show them this picture I wanted to. Then, I was called upstairs. I had apparently betrayed my parents and, “how could I do this to them, when I had someone over?” My father demanded I send my friend home, but my mother convinced him for one more hour. I was told not to tell my friend anything they had said and to act like things were fine, but I couldn’t. I went back downstairs where we were hanging out and started sobbing. I felt like my whole world was falling apart. Everything was over- and the people I thought would love me no matter what made me so afraid and sad, I was completely broken. My friend did their best to comfort me and even felt weary to leave me alone with my family but I told them I’d be okay, and asked that they update our friends about the situation. That night was hellish. So many conversations, them trying to understand what I felt, but not taking me particularly seriously either. That night turned into weeks of books, slideshows, conversations, and prayers. It felt like at-home conversion therapy. Eventually, I was given a choice “put my convictional flag in the ground or loose their trust.” As the petrified 16 year old, I chose to lie. I put my “flag” in the ground and did my best to, “earn back their trust” and repair their reputation that I had tarnished. The next couple months were a blur. I felt so terrible about myself. I didn’t know what I thought or believed and I became extremely hyper anxious and depressed. I had lost all sense of privacy and I did trust my parents further than I could toss them. My 17 year old brother (he was 14 at the time, let’s call him James) was 100% on board with my parents. My life felt like a living nightmare. My parents had it so that all my texts sent or received from my phone would go directly to theirs, so I couldn’t even confide in my friends without getting into trouble (which had happened and was how I found out that they did that because I deleted the texts immediately after sending/receiving things).. Everything felt like it was about me and how I needed to earn back their trust and how I was a terrible betrayer who they were not proud of in the slightest. I had gone to get a pixie cut (with their approval) and after they told me I was disgusting and repulsive and would never find a man to love me. I was heartbroken and felt so alone and unloved in my house, while I had to watch my younger brother be treated the way he was by my parents.
Luckily, I had a lot of friends and our school counselor who had been there for me through everything. They showered me with support and love and made sure I had a safe space to exist and truthfully I think they’re the only reason I didn’t do anything drastic and am still here today. It was hard though because James went to the same school as me and would tell my parents if I was with anyone he knew was queer or queer accepting. This caused me to be very very paranoid about who I was with, when, where, etc. Constantly covering my tracks, having an excuse set up and ready to bolt if I saw anyone I knew. What made things equally hard is that the church my father works at is quite big in our area. So if someone from our church or someone who knew my family saw me with anyone they labeled as “queer” or “gay,” they would tell my family as well. For the most part, I didn’t feel safe anywhere. I was constantly alert and on guard, even when I was asleep as my parents had woken me up before to confront me about someone I was friends with at school.
Fortunately for me, despite everything being such a mess, I am quite academically smart. I got a job the second I turned sixteen as I had heard the horror stories of queer kids being kicked out and wanted to be prepared. I had been saving money, taking college classes (we have a state program that pays for the classes while you’re in high school), and putting on a show for my family for quite some time. After saving some money, I paid my parents for an older car that they had paid off ten or so years ago. After my brother turned 16, he claimed it was too hard to share a car with me, so while I was away visiting a friend they bought him a car and told us that they expected each of us to pay them one thousand dollars before we graduated high school and that when we did so, they would sign over our respective cars to us. To be clear, I contributed to insurance and paid for my own gas, as well as contributing to my phone bill and money for food. Meanwhile, my brother had no job, and was constantly asking my parents for money to go out with friends. He had also taken up golfing, which as most people know is extremely expensive, and my parents funded everything. James had actually admitted to asking for more money than he needed and save the leftovers for whatever he wanted. I was also expected to chauffeur him to golf events and to get togethers with his friends, and my parents would in return give me some gas money. Another thing to note is that the only reason I was contributing to our phone bill is because James wanted unlimited data and my father said it was unreasonable unless we both contributed financially. I refused as I was trying to save money (as I would have with the car situation), however things per normal went James’s way. However, because he did not have a job, he was not expected to pay anything and would not be charged for the months and years that he did not contribute to. I did my best not to let these things get to me and to keep a level head. I paid my parents for the car because I already had over two thousand dollars saved as a seventeen year old high school student due to my hard work.
I focused on my classes and joined theater to help fill the hours in between school and work. I was much more active my sophomore year but when James also decided to join theater I retreated a bit as my once safe space to freely exist was no longer safe. I joined the stage crew but honestly that was also very enjoyable and lethargic for me and I enjoyed it a lot. Anyways, I was mostly a straight A student besides the stray Bs and one or two Cs (psychology and AP government screwed me over) and was working 15 or so hours a week. This is on top of my commitments to the church which were most of my Sundays and my Wednesday evenings. The funny thing is though- James missed more church than I ever did yet because my absence was because of work and not golf, I was the one consistently reprimanded for my lack of attendance and socialization whilst I was there. Yet because James could never do anything wrong and was a very extroverted person his lack of attendance wasn’t as serious as my own. I had one close friend through our church, let’s call her Grace (now 18F) and she actually knew about everything and was very supportive of me. I also had some other friends who really only showed up to church so I didn’t have to go through the torture alone which I don’t know if I could ever repay them for. Besides the people I was comfortable with though, I was pretty much a loner there and this heavily displeased my parents as it made them look bad and messed with their reputation. I never realized how much appearances meant to them until all of the shit that happened took place. As I mentioned before, our church is very conservative and traditional, and many sermons and lessons revolved around gender roles and the sinfulness of the world in terms fo the LGBTQ community. I consistently felt targeted because of my looks and my personality and stopped feeling comfortable there a very long time ago.
Now that more context is in place, fast forward to the end of my junior year. I had at this point finished all my high school requirements for graduation and was given an incredible opportunity to go to our local college full time for my senior year. I was very excited and happy because not only did it give me more freedom but it also meant I would get more than a year of my college education paid for by the state.
It was also around this time when I met my now boyfriend, let’s call him Dean. We were coworkers and had begun to get to know each other. We had a lot in common and while were different people personality wise, we enjoyed each other’s company quite a bit. By some miracle, I convinced my parents to allow me to hang out with him outside of work by claiming he was just a friend and saying that he was a Christian (which is by no means true). They were extremely skeptical but allowed us to hang out. We had an incredible time- and by the end of our first date he asked me to be his girlfriend which I happily accepted. I was so happy, but when I got home, things spiraled out of control. I told my parents about our time, and they were extremely unhappy as they felt fooled (which they were to be fair) and told me I was not allowed to see him ever again. I was devastated and they said a lot of very uncalled for things and but I understand why they were angry. To be clear, they knew I had a romantic interest in Dean and that this hangout was to see if we would be compatible partners and get to know each other better. They did not call it a date though because they weren’t comfortable with it, even if it was a date and they kinda knew it. So while they were on some level “fooled,” I feel that their anger and harshness wasn’t called for as they knew the intentions of our hanging out. The next morning my father demanded to see my phone. This is when I started to panic. You see, they had stop tracking my texts and I had openly flirted with Dean over text. Nothing that explicit and no photos of any kind. But the flirting would be enough for them to tear my world apart and I knew it. They had gone through my personal conversations before and made me feel terrible because of it and I refused to let them do it again. So I deleted everything. The entire conversation chain, I removed it from my phone 100%. My parents absolutely lost their shit. They had been manipulating and gaslighting me for years, doing anything and everything to keep their control and with my actions I showed them they couldn’t control me forever and things went very downhill. I lost all my privacy and was once again told how I had betrayed them and I was terrible and couldn’t be trusted. Again- I partially understand their anger here because I had directly disobeyed a command. But at the same time, I feel as a young woman I should be allowed some sense of privacy and the ability to talk to people without being constantly monitored. I don’t feel like I did anything wrong and would happily do it again in a heartbeat if it meant I’d be where I am today. Regardless of this, my life became a living hell once again, and my parents compared this to when I came out, “which was maybe the worst night of their lives.” They stripped me of all my privileges even if I didn’t have many to begin with. They made me feel absolutely miserable and awful about myself and I was monitored like never before. I would be working and receive texts upon texts of how I was so terrible and how could I do this to them because they had done everything for me and I’m a terrible daughter who should be ashamed of myself for the deceit and malicious nature of my actions. Again- this was because they could not read the messages between me and my now boyfriend. I understand them being mad but they took it to a completely inappropriate level. I shared everything happening with my friends and counselor and they supported me and assured me I did nothing wrong and they would be there for me which helped but as my home was now a living hellscape it was hard to hear it. I found a way to tell Dean about things and at first he felt guilty but I assured him that their actions were not his fault but theirs. He then asked me if I wanted to pause our relationship but I told him honestly that they had taken so many things I cared about over the years and I refused to let them take this. I did tell him however I understood if he didn’t want to put up with all the complicatedness of my family but he told me he cared for me and would be there so long as I was okay with it. He also told me if things ever got really bad at home, regardless of the fact we had just started dating, he had spoken to his family and they offered me a place to stay if I needed/wanted it. This really touched me, but I reassured him that it was not his job to offer that, but I appreciated the offer.
This begins our relationship and we were very happy. We had found a way to communicate over email, and we were able to hide our relationship with my family. Luckily for me, over the years I had made a habit of hanging out at the park by myself so it was not strange for me to head to the park for a couple of hours. There, I would leave my car and phone (my phone had a tracker on it) and Dean and I would hangout multiple times a week and it was heaven. At this point, we’ve only been dating for a year but I can admit without any doubt that I am in love with this man and he is in love with me. During the school year, it became easier for us to hang out in between classes as we both went to the same college (I am older for my year in school and he is younger, so he was a sophomore in college while I was a senior in high school. However, we are barely a year apart in age for anyone who is concerned). However, in order for us to communicate and hang out, I had to be extremely diligent and was consistently covering my tracks while “once again, earning my parents trust and repairing our relationship.” Because of course their actions were completely justified and I was the one in the wrong, per normal. Anyways, every day, I was editing search histories, erasing messages, and looking over my shoulder. Our church had a program on campus where Dean and I went to school, so being together in public was risky as my father’s friends and coworkers were always on campus and I knew I would be screwed if we were caught together. We had a couple of close calls over the months but it was all worth it because I hadn’t been that happy in years.
Now, to the day I left and why. You see, my parents' behavior towards Scott was becoming more aggressive and worse over time. They also had, in my opinion, a drinking problem. Considering they didn’t deny it when I called them out, they may agree. They would behave more hostile after several drinks and it was happening so consistently I was constantly walking on eggshells. Between the way they treated Scott, the way they treated me and the constant stress I was under trying to balance my life in fear of the repercussions, things became too much. When things weren’t going to shit, I was consistently expected to either babysit my brother and do chores while being a full time college student and working a part time job WHILE attending church multiple times a week and keeping up with my responsibilities as a senior. This is on top of the stress my parents' behavior caused, meanwhile James was expected to do almost nothing in comparison. Don’t get me wrong- he didn’t do anything, but he had almost no responsibilities outside of school and his extracurriculars which were exclusively funded by my parents. Yes he helped with dishes during the week and would keep his space tidy. But as my schedule became much more flexible due to my school schedule, my expectations around the house became much higher than his. Even though I paid 200 a month on gas, 50 a month for insurance and 50 a month for the phone bill, and he paid nothing for his car, insurance, phone, gas, nothing. So you would think he would be expected to help in the house more but no. Also, James’s behavior towards Scott mimicked my parents and so all babysitting responsibilities fell on me as they couldn’t be trusted alone together. I was rarely if ever paid for my cleaning or babysitting services as it was my responsibility as their eldest child. They would also consistently judge me for my weight, cloths, hair, hobbies, etc. Why did I think it was a good idea to get fast food? I clearly didn’t need it. They would “outfit check me” to make sure the outfits I wore were feminine enough because the way I look effected their reputation and I couldn’t be trusted. I was not allowed to cut my hair after their tantrum over it. As for my hobbies, I stopped playing sports in middle school as I am very short (currently 5 foot even) and was unable to keep up with my peers. However my interest in video games and cartoons wasn’t feminine enough and they proceeded to compare me to my best friend Grace because she was skinnier and liked more feminine things than I did which hurt a lot. Another thing for context, I have PCOS. It’s an endocrine disorder that heavily effects your metabolism and hormones, which in turn severely effected my weight, however my parents never acknowledged it and again made everything my fault. So from what I wore, what I ate, who I hung out with and what I enjoyed doing was constantly criticized, scrutinized and eventually controlled by my family for years. On top of everything else, I was done. I was 18, I had resaved the thousand I paid my family and knew I was at a place where I didn’t need them and was tired of being treated like shit. So I left.
The night I moved out was a total shit show. I had rallied Dean and my other friend, let’s call them Rita (18NB), and they helped me form a plan. When I returned home, Dean and Rita would be on their way. I would pack everything that belonged to me or I felt they would let me take, and prep the bags outside. After Rita arrived I went to try and explain to my parents that I would be leaving and explain calmly why. In a perfect world, we would have had a long deep talk, and things would have ended alright. That is far, far from what happened. They immediately starting screaming, and took my phone and car keys as both belonged to them, which I calmly handed over. Rita was there for emotional support, and put themselves between me and my parents as they got more angry and seemed to be turning aggressive. After that, my father called the police and claimed that there was an intruder in their home trying to take their child. Yeah. Complete bullshit- which to this day I’m surprised they were never charged with falsifying a 911 call. They screamed at Rita to get out of their home and was screaming that I was throwing away everything and I needed to reconsider. I ignored them and attempted to calmly walk out, and my parents attempted to barricade the doors while harassing Rita to leave. Because Rita is incredible and one of my closest friends now, they refused to leave without me which was very calming. While my parents were distracted yelling at them, I slipped out through the garage. My mother saw this and then grabbed me, attempting to drag me inside by my arm. Rita saw this and assisted me in getting her off me, and after doing so we continued to walk towards Dean’s car where he was waiting for us. He figured it would be best if my family didn’t see him for the time being as they would definitely lose their minds at seeing his face. My parents continued screaming and then the cops arrived. They were quite confused at first because they had been sent to deal with a potential kidnapping, only to see two grown adults throwing a tantrum because their adult child didn’t want to live with them anymore. That night was honestly so insane I could write three more pages about everything they said and did. The most notable events were first when my mother tried to explain to the police that because I was her child, she was allowed to put her hands on me, which they humorously informed her was not the case. The next was when James came home from theater rehearsal, to which my parents told them that I was abandoning our family. He was an emotional wreck through all of it, and to this day has told me that until I “fix” things with our parents he is not okay with having any form of relationship with me. Throughout all of this Scott was in his room, and I was allowed to give him one last hug before leaving. The final and most notable thing, was as the cops allowed my boyfriend, Rita and I to leave, my father threatened violence towards my boyfriend and accused him of "taking advantage of his underage daughter," which is just ridiculous as we are practically the same age, and anything we had done together was consensual and reserved for after I turned 18. Another thing my parents did was go through each bag I had packed and took everything they felt belonged to them, including the laptop provided to me by my high school, which they hilariously were made to give back to me several days later as it was not theirs and they had no right to take it. They tried claiming they were giving it to me out of the kindness of their hearts, but that bullshit meant nothing as after I informed the school of their behavior, the school assured me they would be made to give it back. Another thing they threatened to do as I left was pull me out of high school, which I was assured by the police they were not capable of doing as I was 18. The police were for the most part annoyed with my parents, tired of their bs and told me I seemed to be a capable young woman and wished me the best of luck. My parents had tried to ask the police to say I was mentally unstable for the time being so I wouldn’t be allowed to leave, as their “she’s still in high school” excuse didn’t do anything. You see, as my father is an influential church figure and had friends in the police force, he thought they would be on his side but was sorely mistaken as the chief told him they wouldn’t be doing him any favors. And with that, I was free.
My boyfriend's family has been nothing but unconditionally kind and supportive and have accepted me as part of their family which has been a huge blessing in all of this. I am in contact with my father’s sister and his father, my aunt and grandpa, and as I have expressed my unhappiness at home, they are supportive of me as well. However, as my aunt lives further away and my grandpa is not in the best place to have me live with him, I have been with my boyfriend's family since I left home in October. I have a lot more I could say but I already feel like there are way too many parts here and so for now I’ll leave it at this. So yeah, AITA for moving out after I was treated like shit for years while witnessing the mistreatment of my sibling?

This is both a post looking for advice and to vent. Using my second account for anonymity. Sorry for my word vomit. I’m just going to write what’s on my mind. TL;DR at the bottom if you want to skip my ranting.
I (28 F) finally got a ‘cozy’ office job in 2022 which I had dreamed of after working in management in a grueling, extremely laborious, customer service job that genuinely screwed my back to the point where I couldn’t walk (which is now mostly better after quitting almost 2 years ago). After working really hard at this new job, I became management pretty fast (8 months) and it’s genuinely the most I have ever been paid in my life (around $51k before taxes). It’s not a ton in the current financial state of the world (I live in the US), but it’s enough to get myself and my partner by with his job as well, and I have some left over every month. This is truly a blessing and not something I take lightly. I feel very privileged to be in this position when my partner and I, in the past, have been in poverty where we had $30 to feed us both for a month.
However, my depression has sky rocketed. This job has afforded me to go to a wonderful (but expensive) therapist, and I feel like I talk about how my job is wrecking me emotionally and mentally majority of the time. My anxiety is through the roof. I am being forced to micromanage our team, and I have to make tough decisions I don’t agree with. Some days, I feel like I am my team’s therapist. I try to establish boundaries but I truly feel like a parent - I am never left alone by the team or upper management as I am always needed to answer questions, report, and investigate cases. The work load is insane and they just keep piling more and more on me and my colleagues. I am salaried but I’m constantly working off the clock to catch up. In multiple required leadership trainings, it’s always been pushed that “you’ll never feel like you have enough time to get everything done” which seems to be what they consider ‘normal’, and the company constantly gives more responsibilities to everyone instead of hiring a new role or realizing we need help/more people. It’s not healthy and everyone is being run ragged. My hours suck so I’m the only manager in the evening so I am constantly being dogpiled with questions, messages, emails, complaint tickets, assignment, meetings, trainings, etc. the list goes on and on and on. We have 40+ people under us which feels impossible to manage among everything else.
I feel stuck. I do not have the capacity at the end of the day to do anything productive like courses, certifications, or to look for a new job. I don’t even have a college degree under my belt. I was about 6 credits away from an Associates back in 2020 but when the pandemic hit, I had to go full time at my last job to help which made me put a pause on my education and I have yet to go back. Lesson learned: don’t sacrifice your education for a job. Good lord. I feel like I can’t do anything but management to make a decent living (which I don’t want to do anymore) since I don’t have a degree or set of skills except for management and customer service for 12+ years. It’s soul crushing. It hurts my heart to have hard conversations with staff, especially those who are trying and who care but who still come up short. I also hate having to be the bearer of bad news, especially when it’s to uphold a company policy that I think is bs. I feel stuck between the executives above me and the team I manage. It’s suffocating. All that I do is never enough despite getting things done while being pulled in hundreds of different directions at once.
I feel so ungrateful. I remember dreaming of an office job when I was doing back breaking work before. I also do have wonderful colleagues and some of the benefits are things I never thought I’d have in any job. Now I’ve gained 30+ pounds and my mental health is at an all time low. There are so many people out there struggling worse and I just feel so entitled and shitty asking for something better and whining about where I am. I also have a lot of financial anxiety since I don’t want to be where I’ve been in the past where we could barely afford food. My wonderful partner has begged me to quit if it’s too much and has offered to support us while I looked for something else, but living on his income, which is significantly less than mine, is terrifying. I also don’t like the idea of putting that pressure on him. He’s done so much for us, and the guilt I would feel for giving up on our stability because I can’t ‘tough it out’ makes me feel so much shame. Although I’m good at it, I also don’t want to do customer service as it’s something I’ve done my entire life, and it has never paid what I need to support us. And let’s be frank, everyone knows it sucks.
Without this job, I couldn’t put food on the table like I do now. I would lose the ability to go to the doctor without worrying about it putting me in the hole. I couldn’t afford to go to therapy or pay for medication. We’ve been looking to buy a house for years and that would become a pipe dream. Although we are child-free, I still have pets to feed and take care of. What would I even do if I did try to find something else? I don’t have a degree, or certificates. I barely have the energy or time to pursue those things. I don’t even have the bandwidth to do the things I love like hobbies or see friends. I don’t even know what I want.
I’m good at art and computer stuff. I love data and have looked at data analysis, but I just don’t have the time. I love plants and animals, but don’t want to work in animal medicine. I have looked into medical billing/coding. I guess I’m mostly looking for something project based and not people/management based. Something that’s independent that offers autonomy over my own time and work quality/production. That’s probably most people though, right?
If you’ve made it this far, I’m sorry for my rambling. I feel better after putting this here, but I feel the crash of anxiety that lies in wait. I should b working but I’m frozen and overwhelmed. What do I do? What options are out there?
TL;DR: I work in management at a corporate job that has destroyed my mental health. I do not have a degree or any certifications. I stopped going to college in 2020 because of the pandemic and was <10 credits away from an Associate’s degree. I am looking for something that is not management or customer service that would allow for independent work, autonomy over my own time and work quality/production. I am very literate with computers and love data. I am a very creative person, and I am good at art (traditional paintings, digital, etc.), and have hobbies that include houseplants and exotic animals. I have over 12+ years in customer service which has a lot of transferable soft skills. I have looked (minimally) into data analysis as well as medical billing/coding. Any advice on careers, certifications, degrees, courses, etc would be greatly appreciated!

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A knock came at the door while Saphira was washing her hands in the basin.
“One moment!” she cried as she dried her hands on a nearby towel. She brushed her palms against her apron and made for the front door. Two familiar faces greeted her on the other side. “Espada! Goose! Come on in!”
Espada offered a curt nod and procured a bottle of dark wine from behind her back. “I know you’re avoiding the stuff, but Goose and I want to have a couple of glasses if you don’t mind.”
Saphira shook her head. “Not at all!”
“Thank you, thank you,” Goose sang as she skipped into Saphira’s home.
Saphira shut the door once they were all inside, then briskly returned to the kitchen, where two pots of stew cooked over her stove. She grabbed a mitten and cupped it over the knob beneath the pot, and pulled open the door. The fire was still going strong, so she nodded and shut it before setting the mitten back to the side.
“It smells delicious,” Espada said, taking a seat on the sofa.
“Thank you. It’s an old recipe of my grandmother’s. I hope you like it.”
“I’m sure it’s amazing.”
Saphira swung open a cabinet above her and plucked two glasses from within, holding them upside down with one hand. Years spent farming meant she had practiced hands, and she took great pride in her ability to accommodate friends and family. Grabbing a wine opener from a nearby drawer, thoughts of the last time she’d shared a glass with Matt pricked her tail. She strolled over to where Espada and Goose were sitting, cheerily humming as she gestured for the bottle of wine in Espada’s hand.
“It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve been here,” Espada commented, surrendering the bottle. “Keepin’ busy?”
“Every day is busy,” Saphira giggled as she set the glasses down. “Not that I mind it. I have excellent company.” She gestured to the crib against the back wall that Espada and Goose had built. Marie was happily playing with a few blocks that Goose had as a kitten. It baffled Saphira that Marie could already walk. Not that Marie could walk well just yet, but the fact that she’d picked it up so quickly and easily had Saphira wondering if she’d learned anything that early. “What about you?”
“Things are quiet lately, what with Matt and his Party gone. Demand for weapons and armor is low without ‘em. So I’ve been working the irrigation and home repairs lately.” Espada shrugged.
“Where’s Tabitha?” Saphira asked. Tabitha was a rambunctious woman, obsessed with dirt and everything beneath it. She had her heart set on being the one responsible for Junonia’s irrigation, and she worked as the village’s carpenter in her off time.
“We’re not sure, but she did mention checking out the other towns on Ni Island. Maybe she just got tired of this place.” Goose shrugged.
“It feels strange to take up her post,” Espada continued. “Not exactly my field of expertise. But it’s a living, and it’s oddly satisfying work. Besides, Goose is makin’ sure I don’t lose my touch.”
Saphira uncorked the bottle and set the opener to the side, blinking. “What does that mean?”
“It means you’re looking at a [Fighter],” Goose said with a toothy grin. “Been hearing all about Matt and his Party from Espada and the other girls, so I thought I’d make my own waves out there.” She emphasized the point by imitating an ocean’s current with her hands.
Saphira smiled. Ni Island wasn’t known for its plethora of adventurers. Most of them ended up calling it quits before Second Class—choosing quieter lives in tending to children, farming, cooking, or living off the land. She couldn’t think of the last time she heard of someone leaving Junonia. Well, except for Matt and his group. “Are you thinking of exploring outside the island?”
Goose shook her head. “Not yet. I’m thinking of hunting some small-time Encroachers for a few Bells. Espada’s been helping me.” She nudged Espada playfully.
Espada chuckled. “She has a good sword arm, so I’ve been teaching her in my off time.”
“Espada, you’re the best I’ve ever seen! You must’ve trained on Nyarlothep,” Goose said.
“Something like that.” Espada had always been tight-lipped about where she came from before she settled on Ni Island. Whenever she was asked, she’d shake her head and change the subject. If anyone pushed too hard, then she’d suggest they go on their way.
Saphira didn’t mind it so much, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t curious. Still, it wasn’t her place. She offered her own change of topic as she began to fill Espada and Goose’s glasses. “That’s so exciting, Goose!”
“It feels so good to train and Level. Don’t you think, Saphira?” Goose asked, leaning forward with eager eyes. She watched Saphira pour the wine, gripping the glass’ neck using her first two fingers and her thumb.
Saphira could hardly remember how long she’d dabbled in her Class after her choosing. Every catgirl selected a Class when they came of age, but it was a distant memory to her now. “A-ah… I admittedly don’t remember much.” She giggled and poured Espada’s drink next. “I know that I selected [Scout], though.”
“Huh. I would’ve figured you for a [Chemist] or a [Mage],” Goose said.
“I’d heard from Keke that [Scout]s were good at finding Encroacher parts, so I figured that I might become a leatherworker at some point,” Saphira said. She shook her head. “I’m not one for combat, though. I only ever reached Level 2.”
Goose nodded as she swirled her glass. “That’s our Saphira. Pure to the core.”
Saphira flushed and curled a lock of her hair around her finger. “Hardly.”
“You could charm the evil out of the Defiled,” Espada laughed before draining nearly half her glass.
Saphira wondered if Espada knew that wine was a bit different than ale. “That’s kind of you to say.” She could feel her cheeks growing hotter by the second. “I’m going to finish up dinner.”
By the time the food was ready to be served, Espada and Goose were laughing up a storm. Saphira set three hearty plates on the table, then strolled over to her daughter’s crib. Marie cooed and reached for Saphira’s finger, gripping it tight so as not to fall over.
“You’re so smart!” Saphira said in a high-pitched timbre. “It’s time for dinner!” She reached down and picked Marie up, cradling her in her arms as she approached the table in the living room. It was perfect for the occasion. She’d tried to share dinner with her daughter at the dinner table, but it had proven difficult with its height.
“Thank you for the meal,” Espada said with a nod. She’d finished her wine before dinner and didn’t seem any worse for wear. The same amount would’ve seen Saphira sleeping on the floor within minutes.
“Yeah, thanks!” Goose said.
“You’re welcome,” Saphira smiled as she took a seat across from Espada and Goose. Bouncing Marie on her knee, she plucked a fork from the table, skewered the steamed meozuna greens, and hovered the vegetable over Marie’s head. “Oh, look what I got you!” The kitten batted the air for her mother’s food, grabbing hold of Saphira’s wrist after the third attempt. Marie guided the fork to her mouth, nibbling on the soft veggie, and her tiny ears perked straight up. “Oh, what a good girl! Mommy’s little kitten is so smart!”
Goose and Espada watched with smiles on their faces as they picked at their food. Saphira continued to spoon and fork her food, sharing every other bite with Marie. To her relief, Marie was not a picky eater—Saphira’s mother had always liked to tease her about how fussy she was as a kitten.
“I can’t believe how fast she’s growing,” Goose commented while she wiped at her mouth with a handkerchief.
“I know, isn’t she beautiful?” Saphira glowed. “I love her with all of my heart and soul.” She and Marie touched foreheads, eliciting an excited coo from the kitten.
“It’s still so weird to me that Matt left,” Goose continued. “He’s such a…unique man.”
That was the perfect word for Matt. Saphira had never heard of a man traveling the other islands so quickly, nor had she ever heard of one working with the neighboring islands. It wasn’t unheard of, but she pined for Matt’s smile, his laugh, and his embrace. His presence brought so much hope and life to Junonia, and his absence was sorely felt.
Every day spent without him was another day Saphira spent worrying for his safety. As strong as he was, she feared that his kindness and consideration could bring him harm.
I hope you’re okay, Matt.
Espada snorted. “I can think of a few other words for him.”
Saphira guided another spoonful of potatoes into Marie’s mouth. “What do you mean?”
“We got off to a rough start.” She pushed her empty plate forward and leaned back against the sofa. “I was already pis—” She hesitated, glanced at Marie, then coughed into her fist. “I was in a bad mood that day. So I told him off when he tried to barter.”
Saphira gasped. “Espada!”
In a rare moment, Espada looked uncomfortable. “I work hard on my craft, and I wasn’t about to let him take advantage of me just because he was a man.”
“But they’re here to protect us.”
“I get that,” Espada said, her tone lowering, “I’ve just seen others who flaunt their influence, and I’m not okay with that.”
“I hope you apologized later.”
Espada blinked. “Sure. Yeah, I did.”
Saphira wasn’t quite sure if Espada was telling the truth, but she decided not to pry. “Well, it sounds like you’re on good terms now, then.”
Espada shrugged. “I think so. I gave him a few pointers when I had time.”
“You mean when it was convenient,” Goose jabbed Espada between the ribs playfully. “I know what those words really mean.”
Espada shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Sure you do.”
Marie grabbed one of Saphira’s bangs and pulled her closer. “Aauuooo?”
“Sweetie, you’re hurting Mommy,” Saphira said as she unhooked her daughter’s hand from her hair. She giggled and used her free hand to fix her hair. “You know, I’ve always wondered, Espada.”
“Hm?”
“What brought you to Ni Island? You know so much about weapons and armor, and you learn things so much faster than I would.” She tilted her head inquisitively. “Where did you learn?”
Espada didn’t answer immediately. “I used to work in Nyarlothep as a smith.”
“I knew it!” Goose cried.
A warning glance escaped the corner of Espada’s eyes. Goose quieted, and she continued, “I got tired of my work there and decided to come here instead.”
“A fresh start?”
“You could say that,” she said quickly. Her tone was flat and snappy. “I guess I just got tired of the politics and making weapons and armor for those who didn’t deserve them.”
“Well, I’m glad you decided to come to Ni Island,” Saphira smiled. This was a sensitive topic for Espada, that much she could tell. It was time to let the matter drop. What did it matter, anyway? “It wouldn’t be the same without you.”
Espada’s easy smile returned. “Thanks.”
The room was warm and comforting. As the conversation continued, Saphira eventually let Marie walk around under the condition that Goose sat on the floor with her. It was much easier to keep an eye on a curious kitten with multiple people. The three of them played with Marie, and when it was her bedtime, Saphira placed her daughter back in her crib and kissed her forehead.
“Thank you again for dinner,” Espada said. “It’s been a while since I had such a nice home-cooked meal.”
“You’re so welcome!” Saphira clapped her hands together. “We should do this again sometime.”
“I agree! Maybe next time I’ll bring the meat,” Goose said. “Fresh kill and all that.”
“As long as I don’t have to, well, prepare it.” Saphira swallowed hard. She couldn’t imagine being the one responsible for skinning and bisecting an Encroacher for food. She always left that to the butchers.
“Don’t worry. I could never ask you to do that.”
“Then it’s a plan!”
Espada and Goose waved their farewells, and Saphira shut the door behind them, leaning against its surface when they were gone. The room was quiet now, with only the crackling of the hearth and her daughter’s snores to keep her company. For a few moments, she couldn’t wipe the smile off of her face. She had the family she always dreamed of. Marie was every bit the blessing from Saoirse she imagined.
But the longer she stared, the longer she listened, the more empty the room started to feel. Her hands clenched into fists behind her, and her longing for Marie’s father heightened.
I wish you could see your daughter right now, Matt.
Espada Pro Tip: It was good to see you, Saphira. Don't be a stranger, okay? Let me know if your tools need maintenance.
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I, (18F) moved in with my boyfriend (19M) a couple of months after I turned 18, and my parents were furious and hurt. There’s a lot to unpack with this one, so bear with me.
My parents (40F and 42M) are very religious and were somewhat strict while I was growing up. I have two younger brothers, one 17 and one 8 (this will be important later). For context, my father is a pastor at a local church and my parent’s religious beliefs are the reasoning behind most if not all of their actions. Growing up, I was never a stereotypical girl. I didn’t have many female friends and was usually not accepted in groups with guys as I was a girl and we were kids. I was extroverted as a child but due to being repeatedly rejected by kids my age, I became more introverted. I was a major nerd who loved superheroes and I wanted to play sports. Again, for context, the town I grew up in was very conservative and my parents are very conservative themselves. Girls liked girl things- even if they claimed that’s not how they felt, it’s how they acted. However, as a kid, I did not realize this. I played soccer and basketball growing up, regardless of how “weird” it made me because I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. I was probably around 9 or 10 at this point. It was around this time my parents started having issues with my hobbies. I remember my parents trying to convince me to be a cheerleader because I would “like it more,” but I insisted on playing basketball. (This basketball/cheer program was through our church by the way). Because I was still young, they let it slide, but to this day I remember them being annoyed with it. This is also around the time dieting was introduced to me as well as calorie counting. I have always struggled with my weight and so has my mother, so they were very adamant on making sure I was being “healthy.” I didn’t understand it, but as a child, the only thing I was worried about was making my parents happy. A lot of discipline I received revolved around emotion. What I was doing was right or wrong and if I did something wrong, I felt terrible and awful and would often come crying to my parents about the mistakes I made, fearful of their disappointment and anger if they found things out themselves. They also made everything a moral dilemma- everything was about God and religion and as a kid, it really messed with my head. I would blame myself for everything that went wrong, seeing it as God’s punishment for my behavior. When I was 9, I went so far as to blame my grandmother’s death on myself because I was hanging out with boys instead of girls. This made me to be more of an introvert and my now anxiety disorder is much much worse.
About a year later, my parents sat down with me and my brother and told us they wanted to adopt. At first, I was very excited. I loved the idea of having another brother or sister. And I wouldn’t trade my 8 year old brother (let’s call him Scott) for anything, but adopting kids is part of what triggered a huge change in my parent’s behavior. Also- I had started getting older. I loved playing video games, watching cartoons and writing. However, these weren’t the things they wanted me to like I guess, because I started to feel their judgment become more clear and apparent as I got older. Now, I assume this is because as a kid, I just did what I was told, or my oddities were assumed to fade over time, but that is not the case anymore. Anyways, entering middle school, our family fostered a little girl, let’s call her Ally. A young woman in our church had told us that Ally’s family was out of the picture, and as her aunt, she couldn’t take her in as she was already a single mom and planned on adopting her brother, but couldn’t handle all three alone. So my family stepped in- however, we had come to find that her father was still in the picture and was actively fighting for custody. And Ally was a bit of a handful. My parents have admitted that they expected to swoop in, save a child from a hard life and be the heroes, and when things were harder than that they were very upset. Ally was about three- she remembered her mom (who was in jail i believe), her sisters, her grandma and grandpa, as well as her dad. She didn’t want our family, she wanted hers. She didn’t listen to my parents and rejected their parenting. This is what started to make my parents snap. I understand it was hard for them, but now that I’m older, I get it. She was a little girl who wanted her family. But they took her rejection very seriously and were constantly unhappy with her and made sure she knew it. Children not listening immediately was newer to them as my brother and I both did pretty much whatever they asked, and they did not take well to being told “no” by a child. 8 months after living with Ally, she was taken in by her grandparents to live with them and her sisters. The next day, my parents took my brother and I on a small trip. I’m not sure if it was to cheer us up or to celebrate. I was quite sad though- I had started to really care about Ally and had convinced myself that “God would take care of things” and I would have a sister. But I was angry- God took someone away from me and I was doing everything right. Why was he punishing me? Nothing made sense. Yet, only a year later, my parents were considering taking in another child. I wanted nothing to do with it- God had already taken one sibling away from me. I couldn’t do it again. In the end, I agreed and soon became attached to this little boy, who was two when we met him. This was Scott. I immediately became attached- and I love this kid more than I can describe- he’s my little brother and I would do anything for him.
This is where things start to go further downhill. Scott has a lot of trauma and mental issues, one of those issues being oppositional defiant disorder. That basically means that listening to any form of authority is near impossible for him, and causes him to lash out and act younger than he is. This is probably due to a number of reasons, as he was severely neglected and abused as an infant and his birth mother was on several different substances while pregnant with him, to the point where he was born high on several illegal drugs. He was left in a car seat for most of his infant life, so the back of his head is slightly flattened due to this. My parents are very obedient/disciplined-based parents, so his behavior rocked their world. In my opinion, the way they handled things with Scott was borderline abusive. There were several occasions where he would say he hated them (as young children do when they're mad) and they would flip. Telling him that if he didn’t want them that was fine. They didn’t need him. He could run back to his other parents, but his mom was in jail and his dad didn’t want him, so good luck with that. If we were in the car when this happened, they would threaten to leave him on the side of the road and good luck finding his way home. Once my mother literally pulled to the side of the road, placed him outside the car and started driving so he would “think they would leave him if his actions didn’t change,” but she turned around to get him. Because they would “never actually abandon or hurt him,” their actions were justified and perfectly fine. They would tell him he was acting like a baby when he started to cry and scream. “Little baby Scott, do you need a diaper?” Is how they would tease him when he became older, which just made his tantrums worse. They would tell him how disappointed they were with him and that he should be ashamed of himself and the way he acted because they gave him everything. They would call him, to his face, “an ungrateful manipulative piece of shit.” Because according to my parents, he could control his actions 100% and was choosing to act out to make their lives difficult. While I understand that this was hard for them, in my opinion, this in no way excuses their behavior. One time, Scott was crying and was upset (who knows why, but the kid had a lot of trauma and mental issues so it didn’t bother me too much), and my mother picked him up and put him in his room. She told him that every time he tried to leave his room, she would take away one of his stuffed animals. (He had several that he loved very much). Because this sounded so terrible to him, he ran after her trying to say it wasn’t fair. So she went into his room and took a stuffed animal. This cycle continued while he cried and begged for her to stop, because he just didn’t get it that she was going to keep doing this over and over and his trying to convince her was making it worse. Eventually, there were none left, and she told him if he didn’t stop crying she was going to throw them all away. I don’t remember what happened after that, but I do know that several of them were thrown away, if not at that time than others. There are many other instances of things like this and worse occurring, but we’d be here for a while if I tried to recount them all. Moving forwards to closer when I was moving out-
Now, several years later, when I turned sixteen, I had come to terms with the fact that I was bisexual. This went against everything my family was for, and I knew exactly how they viewed queer people. So, I started learning about different branches of Christianity and felt like I knew a God who loved me as I was and was happy in my decision to switch denominations. (My parents were baptists, and I wanted to be non-denominational). A few months after this, I decided to tell my parents the truth. I had done my best to give them hints, but I wanted to be honest with them because I trusted that they would love me and be there for me no matter what. When I told them I wanted to talk to them about something, they pushed and pressed and I had been trying to wait to talk to them until the next day. I had been seeing my high school counselor, and she suggested giving them a heads-up before springing that conversation up on them. However, after telling them to wait, they went through my phone and saw that I had researched different denominations and read different sermons on queer-accepting faith. They were livid. To be clear- I had a friend over while this was happening. We were watching a movie and joking about how I lost my phone and couldn’t show them this picture I wanted to. Then, I was called upstairs. I had apparently betrayed my parents and, “how could I do this to them, when I had someone over?” My father demanded I send my friend home, but my mother convinced him for one more hour. I was told not to tell my friend anything they had said and to act like things were fine, but I couldn’t. I went back downstairs where we were hanging out and started sobbing. I felt like my whole world was falling apart. Everything was over- and the people I thought would love me no matter what made me so afraid and sad, I was completely broken. My friend did their best to comfort me and even felt weary to leave me alone with my family but I told them I’d be okay, and asked that they update our friends about the situation. That night was hellish. So many conversations, them trying to understand what I felt, but not taking me particularly seriously either. That night turned into weeks of books, slideshows, conversations, and prayers. It felt like at-home conversion therapy. Eventually, I was given a choice “put my convictional flag in the ground or loose their trust.” As the petrified 16 year old, I chose to lie. I put my “flag” in the ground and did my best to, “earn back their trust” and repair their reputation that I had tarnished. The next couple months were a blur. I felt so terrible about myself. I didn’t know what I thought or believed and I became extremely hyper anxious and depressed. I had lost all sense of privacy and I did trust my parents further than I could toss them. My 17 year old brother (he was 14 at the time, let’s call him James) was 100% on board with my parents. My life felt like a living nightmare. My parents had it so that all my texts sent or received from my phone would go directly to theirs, so I couldn’t even confide in my friends without getting into trouble (which had happened and was how I found out that they did that because I deleted the texts immediately after sending/receiving things).. Everything felt like it was about me and how I needed to earn back their trust and how I was a terrible betrayer who they were not proud of in the slightest. I had gone to get a pixie cut (with their approval) and after they told me I was disgusting and repulsive and would never find a man to love me. I was heartbroken and felt so alone and unloved in my house, while I had to watch my younger brother be treated the way he was by my parents.
Luckily, I had a lot of friends and our school counselor who had been there for me through everything. They showered me with support and love and made sure I had a safe space to exist and truthfully I think they’re the only reason I didn’t do anything drastic and am still here today. It was hard though because James went to the same school as me and would tell my parents if I was with anyone he knew was queer or queer accepting. This caused me to be very very paranoid about who I was with, when, where, etc. Constantly covering my tracks, having an excuse set up and ready to bolt if I saw anyone I knew. What made things equally hard is that the church my father works at is quite big in our area. So if someone from our church or someone who knew my family saw me with anyone they labeled as “queer” or “gay,” they would tell my family as well. For the most part, I didn’t feel safe anywhere. I was constantly alert and on guard, even when I was asleep as my parents had woken me up before to confront me about someone I was friends with at school.
Fortunately for me, despite everything being such a mess, I am quite academically smart. I got a job the second I turned sixteen as I had heard the horror stories of queer kids being kicked out and wanted to be prepared. I had been saving money, taking college classes (we have a state program that pays for the classes while you’re in high school), and putting on a show for my family for quite some time. After saving some money, I paid my parents for an older car that they had paid off ten or so years ago. After my brother turned 16, he claimed it was too hard to share a car with me, so while I was away visiting a friend they bought him a car and told us that they expected each of us to pay them one thousand dollars before we graduated high school and that when we did so, they would sign over our respective cars to us. To be clear, I contributed to insurance and paid for my own gas, as well as contributing to my phone bill and money for food. Meanwhile, my brother had no job, and was constantly asking my parents for money to go out with friends. He had also taken up golfing, which as most people know is extremely expensive, and my parents funded everything. James had actually admitted to asking for more money than he needed and save the leftovers for whatever he wanted. I was also expected to chauffeur him to golf events and to get togethers with his friends, and my parents would in return give me some gas money. Another thing to note is that the only reason I was contributing to our phone bill is because James wanted unlimited data and my father said it was unreasonable unless we both contributed financially. I refused as I was trying to save money (as I would have with the car situation), however things per normal went James’s way. However, because he did not have a job, he was not expected to pay anything and would not be charged for the months and years that he did not contribute to. I did my best not to let these things get to me and to keep a level head. I paid my parents for the car because I already had over two thousand dollars saved as a seventeen year old high school student due to my hard work.
I focused on my classes and joined theater to help fill the hours in between school and work. I was much more active my sophomore year but when James also decided to join theater I retreated a bit as my once safe space to freely exist was no longer safe. I joined the stage crew but honestly that was also very enjoyable and lethargic for me and I enjoyed it a lot. Anyways, I was mostly a straight A student besides the stray Bs and one or two Cs (psychology and AP government screwed me over) and was working 15 or so hours a week. This is on top of my commitments to the church which were most of my Sundays and my Wednesday evenings. The funny thing is though- James missed more church than I ever did yet because my absence was because of work and not golf, I was the one consistently reprimanded for my lack of attendance and socialization whilst I was there. Yet because James could never do anything wrong and was a very extroverted person his lack of attendance wasn’t as serious as my own. I had one close friend through our church, let’s call her Grace (now 18F) and she actually knew about everything and was very supportive of me. I also had some other friends who really only showed up to church so I didn’t have to go through the torture alone which I don’t know if I could ever repay them for. Besides the people I was comfortable with though, I was pretty much a loner there and this heavily displeased my parents as it made them look bad and messed with their reputation. I never realized how much appearances meant to them until all of the shit that happened took place. As I mentioned before, our church is very conservative and traditional, and many sermons and lessons revolved around gender roles and the sinfulness of the world in terms fo the LGBTQ community. I consistently felt targeted because of my looks and my personality and stopped feeling comfortable there a very long time ago.
Now that more context is in place, fast forward to the end of my junior year. I had at this point finished all my high school requirements for graduation and was given an incredible opportunity to go to our local college full time for my senior year. I was very excited and happy because not only did it give me more freedom but it also meant I would get more than a year of my college education paid for by the state.
It was also around this time when I met my now boyfriend, let’s call him Dean. We were coworkers and had begun to get to know each other. We had a lot in common and while were different people personality wise, we enjoyed each other’s company quite a bit. By some miracle, I convinced my parents to allow me to hang out with him outside of work by claiming he was just a friend and saying that he was a Christian (which is by no means true). They were extremely skeptical but allowed us to hang out. We had an incredible time- and by the end of our first date he asked me to be his girlfriend which I happily accepted. I was so happy, but when I got home, things spiraled out of control. I told my parents about our time, and they were extremely unhappy as they felt fooled (which they were to be fair) and told me I was not allowed to see him ever again. I was devastated and they said a lot of very uncalled for things and but I understand why they were angry. To be clear, they knew I had a romantic interest in Dean and that this hangout was to see if we would be compatible partners and get to know each other better. They did not call it a date though because they weren’t comfortable with it, even if it was a date and they kinda knew it. So while they were on some level “fooled,” I feel that their anger and harshness wasn’t called for as they knew the intentions of our hanging out. The next morning my father demanded to see my phone. This is when I started to panic. You see, they had stop tracking my texts and I had openly flirted with Dean over text. Nothing that explicit and no photos of any kind. But the flirting would be enough for them to tear my world apart and I knew it. They had gone through my personal conversations before and made me feel terrible because of it and I refused to let them do it again. So I deleted everything. The entire conversation chain, I removed it from my phone 100%. My parents absolutely lost their shit. They had been manipulating and gaslighting me for years, doing anything and everything to keep their control and with my actions I showed them they couldn’t control me forever and things went very downhill. I lost all my privacy and was once again told how I had betrayed them and I was terrible and couldn’t be trusted. Again- I partially understand their anger here because I had directly disobeyed a command. But at the same time, I feel as a young woman I should be allowed some sense of privacy and the ability to talk to people without being constantly monitored. I don’t feel like I did anything wrong and would happily do it again in a heartbeat if it meant I’d be where I am today. Regardless of this, my life became a living hell once again, and my parents compared this to when I came out, “which was maybe the worst night of their lives.” They stripped me of all my privileges even if I didn’t have many to begin with. They made me feel absolutely miserable and awful about myself and I was monitored like never before. I would be working and receive texts upon texts of how I was so terrible and how could I do this to them because they had done everything for me and I’m a terrible daughter who should be ashamed of myself for the deceit and malicious nature of my actions. Again- this was because they could not read the messages between me and my now boyfriend. I understand them being mad but they took it to a completely inappropriate level. I shared everything happening with my friends and counselor and they supported me and assured me I did nothing wrong and they would be there for me which helped but as my home was now a living hellscape it was hard to hear it. I found a way to tell Dean about things and at first he felt guilty but I assured him that their actions were not his fault but theirs. He then asked me if I wanted to pause our relationship but I told him honestly that they had taken so many things I cared about over the years and I refused to let them take this. I did tell him however I understood if he didn’t want to put up with all the complicatedness of my family but he told me he cared for me and would be there so long as I was okay with it. He also told me if things ever got really bad at home, regardless of the fact we had just started dating, he had spoken to his family and they offered me a place to stay if I needed/wanted it. This really touched me, but I reassured him that it was not his job to offer that, but I appreciated the offer.
This begins our relationship and we were very happy. We had found a way to communicate over email, and we were able to hide our relationship with my family. Luckily for me, over the years I had made a habit of hanging out at the park by myself so it was not strange for me to head to the park for a couple of hours. There, I would leave my car and phone (my phone had a tracker on it) and Dean and I would hangout multiple times a week and it was heaven. At this point, we’ve only been dating for a year but I can admit without any doubt that I am in love with this man and he is in love with me. During the school year, it became easier for us to hang out in between classes as we both went to the same college (I am older for my year in school and he is younger, so he was a sophomore in college while I was a senior in high school. However, we are barely a year apart in age for anyone who is concerned). However, in order for us to communicate and hang out, I had to be extremely diligent and was consistently covering my tracks while “once again, earning my parents trust and repairing our relationship.” Because of course their actions were completely justified and I was the one in the wrong, per normal. Anyways, every day, I was editing search histories, erasing messages, and looking over my shoulder. Our church had a program on campus where Dean and I went to school, so being together in public was risky as my father’s friends and coworkers were always on campus and I knew I would be screwed if we were caught together. We had a couple of close calls over the months but it was all worth it because I hadn’t been that happy in years.
Now, to the day I left and why. You see, my parents' behavior towards Scott was becoming more aggressive and worse over time. They also had, in my opinion, a drinking problem. Considering they didn’t deny it when I called them out, they may agree. They would behave more hostile after several drinks and it was happening so consistently I was constantly walking on eggshells. Between the way they treated Scott, the way they treated me and the constant stress I was under trying to balance my life in fear of the repercussions, things became too much. When things weren’t going to shit, I was consistently expected to either babysit my brother and do chores while being a full time college student and working a part time job WHILE attending church multiple times a week and keeping up with my responsibilities as a senior. This is on top of the stress my parents' behavior caused, meanwhile James was expected to do almost nothing in comparison. Don’t get me wrong- he didn’t do anything, but he had almost no responsibilities outside of school and his extracurriculars which were exclusively funded by my parents. Yes he helped with dishes during the week and would keep his space tidy. But as my schedule became much more flexible due to my school schedule, my expectations around the house became much higher than his. Even though I paid 200 a month on gas, 50 a month for insurance and 50 a month for the phone bill, and he paid nothing for his car, insurance, phone, gas, nothing. So you would think he would be expected to help in the house more but no. Also, James’s behavior towards Scott mimicked my parents and so all babysitting responsibilities fell on me as they couldn’t be trusted alone together. I was rarely if ever paid for my cleaning or babysitting services as it was my responsibility as their eldest child. They would also consistently judge me for my weight, cloths, hair, hobbies, etc. Why did I think it was a good idea to get fast food? I clearly didn’t need it. They would “outfit check me” to make sure the outfits I wore were feminine enough because the way I look effected their reputation and I couldn’t be trusted. I was not allowed to cut my hair after their tantrum over it. As for my hobbies, I stopped playing sports in middle school as I am very short (currently 5 foot even) and was unable to keep up with my peers. However my interest in video games and cartoons wasn’t feminine enough and they proceeded to compare me to my best friend Grace because she was skinnier and liked more feminine things than I did which hurt a lot. Another thing for context, I have PCOS. It’s an endocrine disorder that heavily effects your metabolism and hormones, which in turn severely effected my weight, however my parents never acknowledged it and again made everything my fault. So from what I wore, what I ate, who I hung out with and what I enjoyed doing was constantly criticized, scrutinized and eventually controlled by my family for years. On top of everything else, I was done. I was 18, I had resaved the thousand I paid my family and knew I was at a place where I didn’t need them and was tired of being treated like shit. So I left.
The night I moved out was a total shit show. I had rallied Dean and my other friend, let’s call them Rita (18NB), and they helped me form a plan. When I returned home, Dean and Rita would be on their way. I would pack everything that belonged to me or I felt they would let me take, and prep the bags outside. After Rita arrived I went to try and explain to my parents that I would be leaving and explain calmly why. In a perfect world, we would have had a long deep talk, and things would have ended alright. That is far, far from what happened. They immediately starting screaming, and took my phone and car keys as both belonged to them, which I calmly handed over. Rita was there for emotional support, and put themselves between me and my parents as they got more angry and seemed to be turning aggressive. After that, my father called the police and claimed that there was an intruder in their home trying to take their child. Yeah. Complete bullshit- which to this day I’m surprised they were never charged with falsifying a 911 call. They screamed at Rita to get out of their home and was screaming that I was throwing away everything and I needed to reconsider. I ignored them and attempted to calmly walk out, and my parents attempted to barricade the doors while harassing Rita to leave. Because Rita is incredible and one of my closest friends now, they refused to leave without me which was very calming. While my parents were distracted yelling at them, I slipped out through the garage. My mother saw this and then grabbed me, attempting to drag me inside by my arm. Rita saw this and assisted me in getting her off me, and after doing so we continued to walk towards Dean’s car where he was waiting for us. He figured it would be best if my family didn’t see him for the time being as they would definitely lose their minds at seeing his face. My parents continued screaming and then the cops arrived. They were quite confused at first because they had been sent to deal with a potential kidnapping, only to see two grown adults throwing a tantrum because their adult child didn’t want to live with them anymore. That night was honestly so insane I could write three more pages about everything they said and did. The most notable events were first when my mother tried to explain to the police that because I was her child, she was allowed to put her hands on me, which they humorously informed her was not the case. The next was when James came home from theater rehearsal, to which my parents told them that I was abandoning our family. He was an emotional wreck through all of it, and to this day has told me that until I “fix” things with our parents he is not okay with having any form of relationship with me. Throughout all of this Scott was in his room, and I was allowed to give him one last hug before leaving. The final and most notable thing, was as the cops allowed my boyfriend, Rita and I to leave, my father threatened violence towards my boyfriend and accused him of "taking advantage of his underage daughter," which is just ridiculous as we are practically the same age, and anything we had done together was consensual and reserved for after I turned 18. Another thing my parents did was go through each bag I had packed and took everything they felt belonged to them, including the laptop provided to me by my high school, which they hilariously were made to give back to me several days later as it was not theirs and they had no right to take it. They tried claiming they were giving it to me out of the kindness of their hearts, but that bullshit meant nothing as after I informed the school of their behavior, the school assured me they would be made to give it back. Another thing they threatened to do as I left was pull me out of high school, which I was assured by the police they were not capable of doing as I was 18. The police were for the most part annoyed with my parents, tired of their bs and told me I seemed to be a capable young woman and wished me the best of luck. My parents had tried to ask the police to say I was mentally unstable for the time being so I wouldn’t be allowed to leave, as their “she’s still in high school” excuse didn’t do anything. You see, as my father is an influential church figure and had friends in the police force, he thought they would be on his side but was sorely mistaken as the chief told him they wouldn’t be doing him any favors. And with that, I was free.
My boyfriend's family has been nothing but unconditionally kind and supportive and have accepted me as part of their family which has been a huge blessing in all of this. I am in contact with my father’s sister and his father, my aunt and grandpa, and as I have expressed my unhappiness at home, they are supportive of me as well. However, as my aunt lives further away and my grandpa is not in the best place to have me live with him, I have been with my boyfriend's family since I left home in October. I have a lot more I could say but I already feel like there are way too many parts here and so for now I’ll leave it at this. So yeah, AITA for moving out after I was treated like shit for years while witnessing the mistreatment of my sibling?

Dark Souls 2 is usually treated as the bad apple, with many people saying say 'it's a good game but a bad Dark Souls game' and I have mixed feelings about this statement. When it was originally released, I agreed, but not for the usual arguments you heard. But I stopped playing halfway through due to bad hit detection, something that for me, is unacceptable in a soulslike. I was going to replay it after a patch or two. But my love of soulslike wasn’t as absolute back then, so never touched it until the re-release- the 'Scholar of the First Sin' Edition (SotFS), which included fixes hit boxes, better enemy placements, and all the bits of DLC included, and this version is so much better, and the version I will exclusively be reviewing.
Gameplay & Technical:
I hear a lot of people complaining about the very flow of the game, due to there being less monstrous boss fights, and many of the levels having much more enemies to fight, so it’s easy for them to surround you. I’m going to be the odd duck who disagrees with everyone and say I didn’t mind this at all. Every soulslike plays rarely deviates from the formula set by Dark Souls 1. Easy to semi difficult level design, with a difficult boss to cap that section off. Dark Souls 2 (and Lords of the Fallen 2023) are the only soulslike who seem to flip the difficulty around, creating easier boss fights but having levels with a much higher enemy density. While a lot of people dislike this change, I enjoy the change of pace as it is testing another skill set. Instead of testing my ability to dodge and block one big enemy, can I do this and remain spatially aware of everything else. Lords of the Fallen 2023 since changed their game to buff the bosses and remove many enemies, however Dark Souls 2 didn’t. They stuck to their guns meaning it was intentional. My guess is that the Devs knew they had tested their fans skills in Demon Souls and Dark Souls, so wanted this sequel to remain fresh and difficult so made the choice to go this route and I for one don’t mind that change occasionally. The DLC area’s then seem to return to the more standard formula.
Another boon of this gameplay is the subtle options it gives the player. You can beat the 4 huge boss souls to open the door to the castle... Or you can grind to a specific soul level if you would rather.
NG+ is one of the best in the genre, and From Software’s best by a mile. NG cycles have new enemy’s placements and items. And if you only want to beat your favourite bosses or get one item from NG+, then you can burn an effigy in the bonfire to upgrade that one specific area to NG+.. Meaning grinding for that boss door and ignoring bosses is very viable.
Story, Level Design, Art & Music:
The base games story here is inconsequential. It’s told in the usual drips and drabs, but with Dark Souls 1 being the first cycle, and Dark Souls 3 being the last, this being ‘just another one’ didn’t really hook me in the same way. The story implications of the ‘Three crowns’ DLC’s trilogy was much more interesting, and I really wanted this threat to continue more into the third game, but it wasn’t to be. The other thing that made a lot of sense story-wise was the health degradation system every time you hollowed to represent getting further and further from your humanity. Yes, it made the game harder, but I would have loved this change to have stayed in the third game as it works so well thematically.
The level design here is again a negative point to many people. It doesn’t loop back on itself- ever- in the base game, and it’s nonsensical in places. You can see a tower in the distance, walk to the tower, go to the top and there is an elevator which wasn’t visible from the outside that goes to a hidden sky castle. People didn’t like this, but it never really bothered me. Why can’t a fantast title have fantasy in its world? With the hindsight of playing Dark Souls 3, I wonder if this was intentional to show the world degrading in logic with every loop. A point driven home in the ringed city DLC of Dark Souls 3, when part of the Dark Souls 2 world can be seen scattered around. Again, the 3 crowns DLC’s return to the normal formula of shortcuts and logical places you can map out in your head.
My biggest complaint about this game is the art direction. A topic I haven’t heard any other person talking about. My biggest issue with this game, is the entire art direction just seems off to me. I will do my best to explain this, however I am struggling to word it, so if anyone gets what I’m trying to say and can word it better please let me know and I will amend my review.
Dark Souls 1 & 3's graphics are dark, grim, and dripping with atmosphere, in contrast Dark Souls 2 graphics are more vibrant, with a higher contrast and it loses the edge the other games in this series do so well, making the atmosphere less oppressive and the game feeling more like a more ‘typical’ fantasy game.
This isn’t strictly to do with the colour pallet, as Elden Ring also uses much brighter pallet, yet retains an art style in line with the rest of the series.
Conclusion:
Overall a lot of the common complains about Dark Souks 2 never bothered me and I found this an enjoyable game with some unique mechanics that fit the themes of the story perfectly The base game is enjoyable enough, however it’s the 3 pieces of DLC content that really tie this game together. These three DLC’s have all the base areas, boss fights and story in the game and I whole heartedly encourage you to play for this content. I personally, however, hate the visual design they chose, and am so happy they returned to the usual design in there later games.

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11. Calculators & Math Software: I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
12. Test Taking Techniques: I have developed highly effective methods to determine the correct answers to questions that I’m not already familiar with including process of elimination, working backwards, quickly searching for similar questions online, and utilizing standardized test taking techniques taught only in elite standardized test prep tutoring programs.
13. Handwriting & Scanning Apps: I have impeccable handwriting and a high-quality mobile scanner app that allows me to scan written solutions in very legible high-definition JPG, PNG, and PDF formats
14. Flexible Payment Methods: I offer negotiable rates, multiple payment methods (PayPal, Venmo, Cash App, Zelle, anonymous credit & debit card payments via online invoice), and flexible payment plans: weekly (most expensive), monthly, half-now / half-later, and all-up-front (least expensive).
15. Money Back Guarantee: I have won multiple academic awards for my exceptional skills & expertise in math. I guarantee overall A & B grades for all coursework completed. Plus. I also offer a 50% refund for C+, C, and C- scores, and a full 100% refund for D+, D, D-, and F scores.

HOW I CALCULATE FINAL RATES:

• Exams & Quizzes: Final rates for exams and quizzes depend on various factors including: whether or not there is proctoring, how many hours the exam is, total number of questions including sub-parts, preferred method of me delivering solutions, whether it's show all work or just the answer only, and whether the assessment has a flexible window of time to complete or a fixed & rigid start and end time.
• Full Courses: Final rates for full class help depend all the foregoing plus: total number of hw, quizzes, exams, discussion posts, and other academic tasks left that need to be completed, total number of weeks or modules left in the class to complete, and whether there is required multi factor authentication for logging in like Duo Push or text passcode.
• Essays Papers Discussion Posts: Final rates for writing tasks depend on the required number of words or pages. topic of interest, type of citations, required number and type of sources & bibliography style , level of research required, and type of additional software required to complete the essay like: Excel, R, or Minitab.

ABOUT MY RATES & PAYMENT OPTIONS:

• Rationale for My Rates: I sincerely believe my rates are more than fair considering my education, skills, native born U.S. resident status, legitimacy, and the substantial amount of value, stress relief, and saved time & energy I’d be providing you in exchange for my valuable, irretrievable time, energy, and effort.
• Disclaimer About Rates: Completing someone else's exam, essay, or homework assignment is obviously NOT something you can just freely ask anyone to do, especially on the internet. Therefore, such help should be well-compensated. Services that are reliable and deliver high-quality results are difficult to find and are very high in demand. Thus, I expect to be compensated fairly for all the value, stress relief, and saved time & energy my services provide. However, I may be willing to negotiate rates if necessary.
• Payment Methods: I accept PayPal (required for all Canadian students), Venmo, Zelle, Cash App, and anonymous credit & debit card payments via online invoice.
• Payment Plans: I offer the following payment plans for my services: weekly (most expensive), monthly, half-now / half-later, and all upfront (least expensive).
• Money Back Guarantee: I guarantee the following grades for coursework completed: A+. A, A-, B+, B. and B-. However, I offer a 50% refund for C+, C, and C- grades, and a full 100% refund for D+, D, D-, and F grades.

CURRENT RATES -- AS OF SUMMER / FALL 2022 -- SUBJECT TO CHANGE:

• Full Class Help Rates: $595 – $2495 USD
• Exam & Test Help Rates: $150 – $350 USD
• Quiz Help Rates: $60 – $180 USD
• HW Assignment Help Rates: $60 – $420 USD
• Essay & Paper Writing Help Rates: $19 – $29 USD per 300 words

THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:

• Engage in a Telephone interview: Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, and accent. I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
• Provide Telephone References: Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.

MY REBUTTAL TO THE OBLIGATORY “IS THIS A SCAM?” QUESTION:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:

• Not Worth the Money: I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
• Most Students are Broke: I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes.
• Waste of Time & Energy: Communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine.
• All My Payment Apps are Still Active: If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now.

CONCLUSION:

• My Mission: Thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit post. I take what I do very seriously and I always strive to get the highest possible grades for all students who entrust me with their coursework.
• Closing Words: Please feel free to reach out to me if you're sincerely interested in having help you with your school work. I am available via text, email, and call almost 24/7/365.

Contact Details for Hiraedu Helper:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
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Easy fix for all the bug only players and the division caused by bot major orders. Put the major orders in a separate 'story mode' game type server and add a separate 'free play' server. That way the MO can scale to the playerbase and people who ignore the MOs can join free play and kill bugs without screwing any MO associated with bots.
When they add more fractions, it's pretty obvious the bug only players will further hurt the MOs as the playerbase becomes even more spread out fighting different fronts

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Neurodivergents and Nerds will be hosting a board game afternoon at the Urbana Free Library in The Satterthwaite Conference Room on Saturday May 18th at 4:00 PM. Parking is free at that time. Feel free to bring any board games that you like, and come meet some neurodivergent people!
For food, only "light refreshments (such as box or bag lunches, cookies, finger foods, soft drinks, etc.)" are allowed.
Feel free to join our discord server if you want to talk, and to give us an idea of how many people will come: https://discord.gg/jhmYbfcm4a
The holding of this event, meeting, or program at the Library shall not in any way be construed or interpreted as an endorsement of the same or any idea expressed during the same by the Library or any of its trustees, officers, or employees.

Hi everyone,
I apologize in advance for complaining or seeming ungrateful. I've been without a job since January of this year (was ghosted) and it's been really hard to stay motivated to keep looking. For reference, I graduated with a degree in marketing in 2022, got certifications and whatnot, and then had an internship from October 2022 to Feb 2023. I started my last job and it lasted from Feb 2023 till January of this year. One flex I have is that the main campaign we worked on was last summer which was a pricey multi-day camp, once I was on the team the attendance doubled and generated around 30-40K more than the previous year which I take decent credit for since I spearheaded the creative campaigns for as well as grinded most of the graphics and copywriting (I had help and revisions were made, but the original ideas and a lot of heavy lifting was on my end. I was also involved in school (2+ years of volunteer social media work), and now have over a year of real work experience. I've been lucky to get a few interviews but they never turn into anything. I've been really spoiled with working remote for my internship and my last job, and I really don't think I have the mental capacity/desire to be in office especially if its a random city I'd have to move to.
I've been making gaming related youtube videos for a good 3ish months now which I love and has gotten me a lot of great skills for marketing (video and audio editing/recording). I kinda wish I could grind this guilt-free for a while but know it's unrealistic and it wouldn't be bringing in money now or maybe even ever. I would love to try contract/freelance work to get by in the meantime but I just feel so unmotivated. I love marketing, working with social media, and email marketing related stuff. I also love SEO and keyword research. But I feel like just rotting away at dead-end opportunities to build more on my portfolio to hopefully get a job sounds like hell. I also feel like I have the intelligence and experience to not have to dive back into the intern/volunteer side. Thinking further ahead, it seems that the higher you climb the corporate ladder, the worse your life gets (seen it in many people in my family/friends). Now I'm really just questioning what I even want to do with my life. It's not that I don't want to work, but I really wish I had the luxury of finding a way out of this weird rat race where I feel like I'm losing in every aspect. Although I wouldn't mind another remote marketing position, I again just question what that would even lead to long term. I feel like I either would be stuck at the bottom, or the flip side is to get a few promotions and hate my life every day. I've had a few people reach out on job sites asking to do in-person interviews and although I went to one, I've declined the rest. I just don't see myself being the type of person to be in house and I know being picky is my fault but I want to be happy with my job. I don't get how so many people just suffer through their jobs willingly for decades. I feel like I use my free time somewhat well, I go to the gym a lot, spend time working on youtube related stuff, and glance over emails or messages and apply to anything that looks good every once in a while, job boards I use take a decent bit to get more listings, but the more I spend looking for another job, it feels like I'm just inching myself towards more hell for my future. I feel like I'm just in this weird purgatory and I don't know what to do next and I feel like the clock is always ticking, the money I have saved won't last forever, my parent's are not going to let me stay with them forever, and the longer I wait, the bigger the gap is in my resume and the more problems it causes. I wish I could be a self starter type in the marketing field, slowly build a name for myself and do things the way I want to do them, but I feel like marketing is a hard field to get into that kind of thing. I don't know what to do.
*TLDR*:
I just want to be happy in life and I feel like grinding the corporate ladder is not what I want to do. I feel lost and I don't know what to do. I feel like my experience is meaningless in a sea full of people who have my skills but are way ahead of me, way more savvy, way more personable.

A lot of you folks talk about Kernel level access as some kind of buzzword and others compare vanguard to user-level anti cheats.
I want to provide an easy to understand sum up what the Kernel level access actually means and why it's a double edged sword.
User-Level applications:
A regular user level application runs as "your user" within its permission boundaries of your windows user in terms of file access and so on.
Most of us have access to all files on our computer, meaning that also all applications we run have access to all files on our computer.
An important topic is memory access: every application can ask the OS for memory. The OS provides a certain slice of memory and the app can work with it (let's say address 1-1000). The app is able to read and write this slice. Another app, like chrome, might have the slice 2000-3000 and is able to read/write it. If one app attempts to access the memory space of another application, the OS/"the Kernel" denies the access. This is one of the most important security concepts, since lots of applications hold secrets in memory, at least for a short amount of time (e.g. you just typed in your online banking details).
For user level anti-cheat software it's hard to detect cheats because it cannot monitor what other apps are doing right now. Does someone calculate "stuff"/"a dodge" by analyzing leagues video output or similar? It simply can. not. know. easily.
Kernel level drivers:
A Kernel level app completely sidesteps all of the concepts mentioned above. It is allowed to access every part of memory it wants, at any given moment in time.
As anti-cheat software I am suddenly now very aware which application does what. I am fucking god in terms of monitoring memory.
BUT - and this is what you should be afraid of - if there is any security issue with vanguard itself and someone can inject code: He can read all the memory. You just typed your online banking password in chrome? Thanks. You opened a password management tool like KeePass and therefore all passwords you use are in memory? Guess they're mine. You just established a secure VoIP connection via discord? Don't care. The unencrypted voice stream is in memory.
I do not want to insinuate riot games would do anything like that on purpose, just make people aware of the impact of a security issue in vanguard.
Hope I was able to give non-pc-guys a bit more insight what this discussion is even about.

mass report to every last store, school, gov department, every last resident:
to the gov: we reports our situations 24/7 every second reason: ❶police interaction you are required to sound off to defend your rights and halts violation, stops for a second it could be misunderstood as consent granted ❷in court all that it mattered is the fact that you sent those report, we don't care if they are blocked blacklisted mistaken as spam by the system, the server, the user, none of our business, for as long as we sent it in court it takes effects.
to the civilian we reports to inform exactly what the radar weapon system is, and what intelligence community do by using it, so it achieves 2 things:
❶reduces the severity of the situation, so it's not as life threatening or lethal (this can lead you into aggrieved assult so violence and murder, national security threats charges so counter terrorism, or sexual charges since we're no better than any president even they gets set up and falls horrendously what make you think you'll survive all 3, the fact that they allowed you to live, is that correct? ok so we want to ensure of that) not this is protective but by doing so we loses value in intelligence work so much that we're more liability than asset so things don't go that way long as it's all survival so you don't piss anyone off.
❷for the second part, wouldn't you want the next naive person when tormented they would make the right choice to keep themselves safe not get fooled and wasted so they resolves private investigation early by not walked into an interview so naively and able to start immediate mass report keep them safe keeps everyone safe so they don't get evoked into horrible things. Yes, you can be killed. <20 case Havana syndrome death>——basically reports to every city in and near your county except for your own city cause that's irrelevant waste effort.
Essentially the exact same principle dealing with the police as to how to deal with gangstalking, very clear simple as taught by and Lawyer after lawyer all repeats the same thing:
❶don't talk to the police. you have no business attending any interview (DOD/DOJ/CIA interrogation), detectives private investigator set up the interview just to hear you talk about yourself cause they care so much about you? more like the job they do is to land you extensive investigation, criminal charges and fine the KPI is fruitful cases, So why would you talk to a private investigator playing dress up pay 20 dollahr to opens up 10years+ of investigation for you,
❷ know your right defend your rights, described by retired detective: police lie cheat scam plays every tricks in the bock to get you to do the wrong thing catches people by evocative approach meaning tiniest mistake maximum amount of permanent punishment, so instead of interrogation and evocation leads to charges and search permit/warren that'd make a fruitful case that's the whole job of investigator, we just want court request and judge decision to stay clear of extensive which is essentially exactly what gangstalking is, why would anyone want to be drag into this?
in police interaction we witness over and over exactly how common it is for them to lie about the law, lie about the procedure, so we see our rights and legal ground aren't granted, we follow court decision and the correct procedure not what they tell us, very likely to be an lie just to make a catch to meet the quota, our legal ground can be easily work around with especially radar weapon system disruption so traceless so much room to explain and interpret, on top of that investigator are part criminal part spy part assassin the business model is playing by the rule, simple idea pretty easy to understand, we want to be certain of "Do I have the right to not die? can this not be damaging? can I just go do my thing and be productive?" how do I know that? report and cover all ground reaches area top hand or top dog, that's the same idea as requesting police supervisor so situation's much less likely to be lethally dangerous.
OK, SO MASS REPORT
you need the following:
• computer wrap in metal to reduce damages from extremely powerful direct ray
• crawl website email addressses
• sending email 24/7 every second full auto
• an email accurately describe all the torment you went through, exactly what day what happened the full log
• another email accurately inform the local people that's not in your city of all essential facts, don't spread rumor, only send confirmed facts, raises awareness on how to handle special investigation and ho to deal with radar weapon system.

Hey, I hope you're having a good day/evening! I'm just home from being out and I'm now watching the news, so I would like some company while that's on in the background.
A little bit about me; I love football (soccer) and enjoy playing and watching it, trying to keep myself fit by working out, reading non-fiction, gaming, cooking, politics and also, music. I'm a big emo at heart, but I love all types of music.
If you'd like to talk, feel free to send me a message via chat on here!