Family care plan chapter counseling

Hey reddit,long time lurker. First post on a throwaway account you get the gist. Normally wouldn’t resort to the internet for advice cause it can be a lawless place but I need an opinion that’s not from people in our circle and hopefully (very slim hope) unbiased while tying 3 feet from my gf.
I (24M) and my gf(24F) have been together for 3 and a half years. I love her so much she is unlike anyone I’ve ever dated, she kind, sweet,caring smart and has a smile so bright she lights my way home in her arms.I just love being around her .Not to mention so pretty that her shine makes the stars jealous and a beauty so captivating if I would tell the winds they would follow her direction and if I told the sun it would come out every day just to gaze at her like the love I have for her isn’t till death we part,I would find her in whatever place and in whatever form and I’d ask her out again tho in this life I plan to make an honest women out of her (old phase I know) and marry her , that is why I work so hard. She is my Motivation, Inspiration and Muse
Tho it is marriage that my problems arose , after us having a good day(tho she was working this day) we came home to her cutely and bubbly talking to me about trees, after which I took a shower in preparation to cook us dinner to me seeing her looking at a book on different plant life and looking so happy , what I thought would come would be her regaling me on another informative fact on a tree she saw or explain to me mutation in roses she stop to ask me if I would change my name if we got married.
This topic has come up multiple times on multiple occasions as I would like to think my self a pretty open man, I believe in an equal partnership, I don’t think my partner has to take my name and I think in a situation where we want kids (both half and half tho I’m leaning no )since she is the women birthing the kids she would have authority over the names unless she tells me otherwise . I do not nor will I ever indorse toxic masculinity or toxic patriarchy , that being said I try and practice what I believe is masculinity one not dictated by the media or society in ways that I do not oppress others .
It will become relevant soon , i told my gf no and that I would keep my names tho I’m willing to hyphenate or have a new last name like a additional name but I will keep my names , she was not happy about this and said that hyphenating is not the same and not getting rid of the names that carry generational karma ,she asked why and I cited my relationship with my father.
Quick backstory raised by Mother barely saw my father they went to court over my custody saw him every once in a while though my mother interfered . I have no ill will towards both my parents but due to this I didn’t develop a strong connection to my father until my 20s.He is an educated and smart man but contrary to his demeanour and how he conducts himself he is old school African and as he is the patriot of his family as his eldest son, I am to inherit his name.
Now why I want to keep his name is not because of some tradition I didn’t grow up with , it is because we’ve gotten so close and these couple of years and I understand his reason such as the son is supposed to inherit the name but for me the name is my tie with him. If I had a shitty relationship with him , would be a different story but as I have a good relationship, I don’t want to get rid of his name.
These reasons I stated above is why I wouldn’t get rid of the names , she didn’t like that and gave me the reasons that it’s perpetuating shitty patriarchal standards and asked me if it’s the same with a woman/ daughter? As I can understand her response and reasoning I told her she is valid in her viewing of the situation however I don’t want to keep it. These reasons I want to keep it so I can feel close to him.
She asked if we had children would I expect them to have my name and I said not really as she is and would be the mother who will gothrough labour to have these kids. She would have ultimate Vito power in regards to the children’s first second and last name . And as for myself, I will keep my name .
She wanted all of us to have the same name and that I ruined her fantasy,then wouldn’t continue the conversation. She is normally is a person willing to have communicate and compromise, but for the first time she wouldn’t talk to me and went to bed sad(tho we did cuddle before she slept) and now I’m typing this while she sleeps so all I need to know is Aita? Feel shitty don’t know what to do .

LAPTOP QUESTIONNAIRE

• Total budget (in local currency) and country of purchase. Please do not use USD unless purchasing in the US: $1000 USD (United States)
• Are you open to refurbs/used? Very unlikely
• How would you prioritize form factor (ultrabook, 2-in-1, etc.), build quality, performance, and battery life? I would like to find a 2-in-1 with good battery life and great performance. I am looking for something that would also work well for taking handwritten notes, but if there's a crazy good deal on something without a touchscreen/stylus I will consider it.
• How important is weight and thinness to you? This is somewhat important (shouldn't be a 50lb dumbell) but not really a deciding factor. Anything will be lighter than my current laptop...
• Do you have a preferred screen size? If indifferent, put N/A. I would probably prefer a slightly larger screen, but it's not horribly important.
• Are you doing any CAD/video editing/photo editing/gaming? List which programs/games you desire to run. I don't play video games excessively, but I would like to be able to run at least mid-level games. JetBrains is probably my most used software. I would likely use CAD software, though what I know right now is OnShape (browser-based). I don't plan on doing video editing often, maybe like once or twice a year.
• If you're gaming, do you have certain games you want to play? At what settings and FPS do you want? I don't have one in particular, but 60fps+ on mid-level games (slightly higher performance than minecraft).
• Any specific requirements such as good keyboard, reliable build quality, touch-screen, finger-print reader, optical drive or good input devices (keyboard/touchpad)? I will be running Linux - preferably Linux Mint but it doesn't really matter as long as it's Debian based. The components of the laptop should all work with Linux (minor things like specialty keys and such I don't care too much). I would also like to be able to upgrade the components, especially since this laptop needs to last me 4 years.
• Leave any finishing thoughts here that you may feel are necessary and beneficial to the discussion. This is a new laptop I am getting for college. My current laptop can barely handle Firefox with 10 tabs, and it takes (not kidding here) 35 minutes to get everything loaded for basic web browsing on Linux Mint.

I have been doing a lot of research myself - here are the 2 models I am currently considering: - ASUS ROG Flow X13

• HP Envy x360 2-in-1 Laptop 16t-ac000

Thank you for your help!

Right now I have an android phone and had been wanting to buy an apple phone to try it out. I am already sure that Id buy an ipad because ill be using it for school next year. As for phones Im kinda confused right now because I hear that iphones have a very sensitive screen, and as someone na clumsy (please do not judge, I try to be careful naman but these things keep on happening to me 🥲) Im kinda hesitant na to buy an iphone 13 which I originally planned to buy. Right now Im eyeing on the samsung s23,a55,s24 (if u have better suggestions im open). Do u guys have any advice or suggestions po?

Less than ten years ago I could get a job without much information being submitted. Now I have to submit everything from my bank account information to all the drivers license numbers I’ve ever had to the exact whereabouts of every individual in my family. Beyond that people seem to care about everything little thing when it comes to dating, eating habits, how they’re perceived by others, etc. just to name a few things I’ve noticed.
I mean I get that standards evolve with time but have we corrupted the idea of what’s acceptable and now only strive for what’s perceived as perfect?

Dealing with a man who repeatedly makes plans then flakes. He will text me a day or two in advance, I’ll make sure that I don’t make plans then the day comes and I don’t hear back. Or he’ll text the morning of, we’ll agreed and that evening gone. He’ll call me and text me ”come hang out!” I’ll reply 30 minutes later, then 2 hours later I’ll get a text, or maybe not hear anything at worst. He told me his birthday was coming up I asked him if he has plans he says “no I don’t :(“ so I say okay, well if you don’t find anything then we can go out, road trip, museum, dinner, stay in, I dont really care but if doesn’t have plans I’d love to do something. He texts back “well I might want to just stay in and enjoy the day” ….. like okay, you’re sad you don’t have plans, but you’d rather be alone then make plans with me? …. Then today I get a text “do you want to do something this evening?” At 3 pm, I say sure! I get off at 4, that’d be fun. He texts back “I’ll follow up” ……. Like wtf? Why did you text then?!
It’s not like I ever reach out to hang out, cause I end up getting ghosted, so I let him text me and he will weekly, but it’s like flake 2 times for one hang out.
We have a great time when we do hang out, and I know he’s dealing with something but every time it’s like a roller coaster. I don’t even shift my plans anymore, I don’t reach out but it gets me…. Every time.

I am seeking someone with whom I can engage in deep conversations, exchanging thoughts on how we live our lives, our perspectives, and what we make of existence as we await our inevitable demise. I am looking for someone whose outlook on life aligns with mine, with whom we can collectively find the best way to live out our allotted time. Together, we will share our plans and goals, discussing our understanding of various matters.
I would be delighted if you, upon deciding to write to me, could explain why you chose to do so and share a bit about yourself, to streamline our initial conversations.
Some of my reflections and views on life: - I've come to realize that happiness for me won't come from having a big house, an expensive car, or even a family. Happiness, for me, lies in improving people's lives. Eventually, I'll die (like everyone else), and if I only live for myself, it would be meaningless—everything will go with me to the grave. But if I create something that improves people's lives, something that remains even after I'm gone, it gives meaning to my own life and brings me hope and happiness. I'm willing to dedicate my life to this, to improving the lives of others. - I'm interested in philosophy not just as a hobby, but as a necessity for determining the direction of life and how to approach it, understanding what to do in this life. - I often ponder the meaning of life in the face of inevitable death (because what comes after death greatly influences what to do with life). - I'm interested in what to do in life and how to spend it. The typical scenario of finding a job with good pay, buying a house, starting a family, retiring, and dying doesn't appeal to me (but I don't have anything against it). If you resonate with these sentiments, I eagerly await your response.

Introduction

1)Will this be your first dog? If not, what experience do you have owning/training dogs? * I have had family dogs all my life, but this would be my first one living on my own. I have reasonable experience with training and owning dogs. I also have a pretty good grasp on puppies as my mother has bred dogs (ugh, i know) 2)Do you have a preference for rescuing a dog vs. going through a [reputable breeder]( http://ownresponsibly.blogspot.com/2011/07/identifying-reputable-breeder.html)? * Likely going to adopt from someone who needs to rehome their dog. Alternatively a breeder. There arent really rescues in my country. I would like avoid adopting a puppy, and instead would prefer a 1-2 year old. 3)Describe your ideal dog. * A small/medium dog that is social and cuddly but not overly clingy (basically they just need to listen to the command "go away" soemtimes haha). Not extremely high energy, but still eager to play and maybe come with during runs. A mild temperament and easily trainable would be ideal. Good health condition is very important (a mutt is fine). No vocal breeds as I would live in an apartment. 4)What breeds or types of dogs are you interested in and why? * No particular breed in mind (that is kind of what i need help with lol). I do love setters since one of my family dogs is a Irish settegolden retriever mix and she is pretty much my ideal dog (although she does not do recall well, which is a concern). 5)What sorts of things would you like to train your dog to do? * Basic commands like sit, lie down, go away, etc. Recall would be a huge plus. Would need to be trainable to ignore/be calm around other dogs and stimuli on walks, and be able to walk nicely on a leash. 6) Do you want to compete with your dog in a sport (e.g. agility, obedience, rally) or use your dog for a form of work (e.g. hunting, herding, livestock guarding)? If so, how much experience do you have with this work/sport? * No. **Care Commitments** 7) How long do you want to devote to training, playing with, or otherwise interacting with your dog each day? * I'm away from home a maximum of about 6 hours a day, mostly way less. I'm a student and I spend a lot of time at home studying and doing other things, which means I do have time to be around the dog. 8) How long can you exercise your dog each day, on average? What sorts of exercise are you planning to give your dog regularly and does that include using a dog park? * I plan on doing shorter (~15 min) walks in the morning and at lunch time, and a longer walk in the evening. I would be able to visit a dog park/open area for running (when the dog has learnt recall) about twice a week. I do also run occasionally, and in the fall/spring im happy to take the dog with me. 9)How much regular brushing are you willing to do? Are you open to trimming hair, cleaning ears, or doing other grooming at home? If not, would you be willing to pay a professional to do it regularly? * Im happy to keep up with brushing weekly or so. Im comfortable bathing and trimming nails on my own. Im only interested in dogs with a "normal" coat that does not require frequent grooming visits. Im not willing to pay for the normal grooming fees like brushing, bathing, or trimming. **Personal Preferences** 10)What size dog are you looking for? * medium 15-40 lbs. A small is also acceptable depending on the breed, but i do prefer medium as they seem like the most athletic size and are able to go along on hikes and stuff. 11) How much shedding, barking, and slobber can you handle? * Preferably no barking as id live in an apartment. Shedding is fine as long as its not excessive as i am slightly allergic. No slobber. 12) How important is being able to let your dog off-leash in an unfenced area? * Relatively important. I do want to be able to let it run free for playtime, and hiking in the woods off leash would be great. So a dog with good impulse control that doesnt just run off the second it gets off leash would be great. **Dog Personality and Behavior** 13) Do you want a snuggly dog or one that prefers some personal space? * Somewhere in the middle. I do really enjoy cuddling with a dog and having them sleep in my bed, but i also dont want it to be too in your face. Basically just a dog that says hi then settles down with me instead of constantly seeking attention. 14) Would you prefer a dog that wants to do its own thing or one that’s more eager-to-please? * eager to please 15) How would you prefer your dog to respond to someone knocking on the door or entering your yard? How would you prefer your dog to greet strangers or visitors? * friendly to visitors 16) Are you willing to manage a dog that is aggressive to other dogs? * preferably no aggressive dogs. I would like to be able to safely let the dog be off leash without any fights. I'd rather not take the risk of my dog hurting another dog/person. 17) Are there any other behaviors you can’t deal with or want to avoid? * Poor recall. Also howling/barking when im not home. I would like to trust my dog to be relatively quiet when im not there. Destructive behaviour like chewing up furniture even as an adult would also be a big no. **Lifestyle** 18) How often and how long will the dog be left alone? * up to 6 hours a day. In the future that could be bumped up to 8-9, but I will always be close to home, so a quick walk during lunch would be possible. 19) What are the dog-related preferences of other people in the house and what will be their involvement in caring for the dog? * I live alone 20) Do you have other pets or are you planning on having other pets? What breed or type of animal are they? * Possibly going to get a cat in the future 21) Will the dog be interacting with children regularly? * no 22) Do you rent or plan to rent in the future? If applicable, what breed or weight restrictions are on your current lease? * I will rent a student apartment. There are no limitations on pets and there is no extra fee or cost to having one. 23) What city or country do you live in and are you aware of any laws banning certain breeds? * Sweden, no current breed restrictions but there is talk of banning certain bully breeds unfortunately. 24) What is the average temperature of a typical summer and winter day where you live? * Summer would be ~20 C (70 F), whilst winter averages around -20C (-4F). The hottest it gets is 30C (85), and the coldest is -30C (-22F). **Additional Information and Questions** 25) Please provide any additional information you feel may be relevant. 26) Feel free to ask any questions below. 

So let me start off hy saying I 26m and married to my wife 24f for about a year now. I love her with every Fiber of my being. We moved in together about 7 months into dating and it's been constant trouble from that point out and here's why.
The place we rent is owned by her parents. It's a douplex of sorts. The top floor is a full house in it of itself. My mother in law, father in law, and brother in law live up there. Me and my wife live in the lower level, which has its own driveway, front door access, and is a full home in it of itself. My problem is when I moved in I was told it is our home. We have free reign over it, and we are living completely separate from the family upstairs. This has not been the case.
I'm a tradesman. For a short while I was laid off, so I did some jobs around the house for some scratch. I was paid for one job, which included laying new flooring in 3 different rooms, and building a closet. I was paid 300 dollars. Not much, but I appreciated what I got. Since then, there have been numerous projects that I have had to do on the house, none of which were compensated.
I'll preference this by saying about a year ago, my father in law got diagnosed with ALS. He was the type to never stop moving and doing stuff on the house (according to my wife). So he had plans for a bunch of different projects, and now that he can't do them, me, my wife, and her brothers are expected to do them on his behalf. (Enforced by the mother in law)
We did a few small ones here and there, no problem. The issue arose when I had to build a 60ft paverstone pathway for when my father in law needed a wheelchair. I had never done it. I was told I was going to get paid for it. Halfway through the project, I started working again. Since I was now working my mother in law told me that since I'm working now, they don't need to pay me because I live here and it's part of my job to maintain the house now. Keep in mind I'm paying 750 a month in rent.
Here is my mother in laws idea of mantinance. Building a fish pond Building an addition onto the pool deck Planting her flower beds Building yet ANOTHER paverstone path
There are many more but those are a few. There's also concrete she wants put in, a greenhouse built on me and my wife's front patio, we have no say in it. She said she's purchasing patio furniture for our patio, but we don't have any say in style or colors since she's buying it. Even though I was going to buy a set for me and my wife.
On top of all the projects, my wife, and my brothers in law have a daily chore list, a weekly chore list, and a monthly chore list. One of their daily chores is literally to feed their mother.
My mother in law is my father in laws caretaker, but is consistently asking the kids to do stuff like make his food or make his medicine, she requires one person with her at all times in case she needs help helping her husband. All the while she sits on the couch and either naps, or reads the Bible. She does help my father in law, don't get me wrong, but not nearly enough to exhaust her on the daily.
Mother in law doesn't clean, cook, do laundry, nothing. It's all her children doing it.
My wife is wanting to start a family, but can't even spend time in her own house with her husband because she's constantly called upstairs to clean up for her mother, or cook, or sit and watch her father with her mother. Meanwhile, I'm working full time, then coming home to a messy house, being the only one cleaning or maintaining the cleanliness of our home. That's dishes, clothes, sweeping, vacuuming, the whole shabang, and yet when I don't come up and help clean THEIR MESS upstairs, it upsets the mother in law.
That being said I'm still expected to help do every projects the MIL comes up with simply because she wants it done. I ask my wife if we can move somewhere close by but in a house all our own so we're not under the MILs thumb constantly and it's like talking to a wall. I voice my problems and I get a "it sucks, but this is the way it has to be" so I get nowhere.
I feel like my feelings aren't valid, and my problems are inconsequential to the problems my wife and her family are going through so I can't bring them up. And when I do, they're brushed under the rug. I don't want to leave my wife but I'm expected to be a slave to the family simply because I live here, and my wife will not move out.
What do I do??
Sorry for such a long jumbled post, it's been going on for a while and I just try to deal with it because I love my wife but it's getting to be too much.
I would do a tldr, but this situation is so tangles and there's so many issues I wouldn't know where to start.

You ever notice that worm fics tend to get waaayyy bogged down? Like, they'll write the Bakuda bombing arc just fine, maybe get to the endbringer of the day, but in the rare circumstances where they get past that... the author just sort of doesnt know what to do next? And then either the story gets abandoned or the next 20 chapters are just the main character dithering around waiting for Scion to blow up before it gets dropped.
Y'all got stories with consistent pacing? It's like looking for Bigfoot but there have got to be stories where the author actually planned out their plot before putting pen to paper. Please send me recs!

I'll explain the photo in a minute but first let me tell you about my experience from last night.
I had something happen that really triggered me, and for the first time I felt like I really could harm myself. So I decided to drive myself to the emergency room. When I got there I told the psychiatrist who came to see me about my personality disorder. I haven't had a therapist in a while (Not by choice. He had to move on to another assignment), and the lack of therapy has really been hitting me hard.
Well, as you can see this is how the psychiatrist at the hospital and the hospital itself defines narcissistic personality disorder.
But that's not why I call this thread what I called it.
And some of you might know, the band Van Halen was famous for having a rider contract that indicated that there had to be a bowl of MGM's is in the dressing room but there could be no brown M&M's mixed in with the others. For years this was considered the perfect example of their entitlement and their eccentric attitude as rock stars.
However, the reason they would do this is because the managers and specifically the road managers would know that it was possible that the venue did not follow some of the other directions on the rider if they did not remove the brown M&Ms from the bowl. I always thought that was clever.
Very soon after getting into the emergency room, I asked the nurse for a glass of water.
3 hours later I didn't have the water. I decided I was going to leave the hospital because I was unsure that this hospital would be able to take care of me. I thought that the ignored request for water was an indicator. I know the nurses at these hospitals are busy. I get that. But I didn't feel safe. Maybe it was my NPD.
But when I left, they gave me the print out that included the description of NPD on that paper. I'm glad I left. And I don't plan on returning. If I have negative thoughts like that again, maybe I'll go to a different hospital or maybe I'll make a phone call. In some weird way the whole experience actually made me feel better overall.
I find that I am always better when I feel like other people are trying to screw me over. Somehow it gives me a boost. It doesn't last, but I did need it last night.

This may be too soon to stress about. But I'm worried that my previous nanny family isn't going to honor our agreement to pay me my unused PTO like we agreed when I signed on. My last day was last Thursday. And when I confirmed it with them then they gave me some push back about it, but eventually relented and agreed to pay me out in the next few weeks.
It's now the first day of my payback and I haven't heard from them or gotten the payment. I texted them just now and asked when they were planning on sending it but they haven't responded.
What do I even do if they don't send it? I have it in text that they would pay it. Do I go to the police? I need that money for rent cos I am still jobless and looking desperately for work. So I can't get an attorney or something crazy like that. Like what do I even do? I hate this feeling.

Hi Ladies, I need advice. I'm planning on leaving a review and reporting him to the Texas Medical Board but I feel like I'm going crazy and don't feel justified in reporting. I'd like to hear what y'all think (TLDR at bottom)
2 days ago I noticed what looked like a boil or cyst on my right labia. Yesterday this boil started to grow and become very irritated making it hard to sit down and hurt to walk around. I checked google and started putting a warm compress on it throughout the day to get it to drain naturally but knew I would probably need to get antibiotics to keep from infection. The boil (now know it was a cyst) was about 1cm big, pea-edamame sized and looked like it was possibly infected, hence the urgent care trip, and very red and inflamed. Wanted to be safe rather than sorry and decided it was better to go get antibiotics and start them that night just in case it started draining. It was pretty late at night and there was only 1 urgent care open, which was not the urgent care I typically went to.
Get to the urgent care, fill out the papers. Receptionist sees my paperwork and lets me know they only have a male doctor, and if that would be ok. Male doctors doing my exams in sensitive areas wasn't my favorite thing. Had some good experiences, had some bad. I said it was fine, since I assumed he was just going to examine if it looked infected and maybe prescribe some antibiotics. Wait for a bit in the waiting room then the nurse pulls me back for vitals. She was extremely sweet, talked about her bartholin's cyst and how it sounded like that could possibly be my problem. She told me to get undressed from the waist down, gave me a cover up, and she let me know she would be in the room with me while the doctor took a look.
Doctor comes into the room. It was an older man in his 70's or 80's. He did not introduce himself, he did not ask me what I was in for. I said hello, tried to start talking about my problem and he interrupts me with just a "show me it.". Rude and weird as we haven't even had a conversation yet but whatever, it's late at night.
I get on my back, there were no sternups or anything so I kind of awkwardly had my legs frog style. He immediately began touching the area- which was very red and tender and painful without a single word. Not a huge fan of that. My gyno's and dr's have always told me what they were about to do, especially when touching in or around my vagina. I asked him to tell me if it looked infected, if I could just let it drain and if I would need antibiotics (been super anxious about sepsis recently which was the biggest factor for coming in). He mentions that it looked like it may have started draining and then asked the nurse to grab him a paper towel.
Suddenly I felt a huge stinging pain on the area where the cyst was. Enough to make me yelp in pain and scoot back from him. He was popping my cyst. Popping it! No lancing, no gentle squeezing, no pain relief, NOTHING! He hadn't even wiped the area before popping a cyst, possibly making it more infected if it wasn't already. After the first wave of pain, nearly passing out he kept squeezing very hard I said "that hurts really bad can you stop?" and he did not stop. He squeezed again, and I yelped again and said "I'm serious I haven't had any ibuprofen or anything this hurts so bad please stop". Still no words spoken to me at this point. I was pissed, and in a lot of pain. I had wanted it to drain naturally because I didn't want to risk any extra scarring even with a cut or lance, but I will get even worse scarring from this doctor popping it! He took the paper towel and kept wiping and I winced in pain and told him to seriously stop touching it. He finally backed off, and waddled over to his clipboard all without saying a single word to me. The female nurse was in the room, silent this entire time- mind you.
He finally spoke up to ask me how much I weighed and if I was allergic to any medications because now that it's ruptured I needed to be on antibiotics immediately so I don't get infected. I couldn't believe what had just happened. He had not asked me if I wanted it "drained" if you could even call it that. He had not talked to me about what he was going to do. And if he had listened to me as he waddled over, he would have heard me say that I've been doing warm compresses to get it to drain naturally. I had to ask the female nurse for a panty liner so that I wasn't (TMI) leaking puss and blood all over my panties while I waited 45 minutes at a CVS to start my antibiotics. He left the room, without sharing any aftercare, without asking me if I had any questions. Nothing, just left. I just have this big gaping wound on my labia that I guess I'm just trying to keep clean and not pee on?
I have gotten cysts drained before at doctors offices, by the way. Cysts on my vaginal opening and urethral opening have been drained at gyno appointments. They are supposed to give you some kind of local numbing and it is done on request with either a lance or a cut. They certainly didn't squeeze-pop them without consent and they were explaining everything they were doing, before doing it. And the most important thing was when the pain was bad and I said "break" or "stop" and they would stop.
I left the clinic feeling violated. I'm upset that this cyst is going to scar more because he ruptured it without a care in the world. I had not asked him to drain my cyst on any kind of paperwork. I am upset he had not asked for any kind of consent before doing it. I was not there on request of a cyst draining. I had requested an exam to check for infection and to possibly get antibiotics.
I will be following up with my primary care physician, just to check for damage and proper aftercare instructions. I am planning on leaving a review on the clinics google page, which I found also had a few 1 star reviews about "the older gentleman" that took care of them. I want to also report to the medical board, but I have no strong evidence against him. I am a SA victim, and I'm already very uncomfortable with people touching me in that area. And I feel like he scarred me without my consent.
Any and all advice or support is greatly needed right now <3
TLDR: Went to doctor for centimeter sized cyst on labia to examine if it was infected and to get antibiotics. Male doctor refused to speak to me, and squeeze-popped my cyst without talking to me, without consent, without pain relief and refused to stop squeezing after I had asked him to stop, twice. My risk of infection is higher, and the area is going to scar. Left me no aftercare instructions. Gave me antibiotic prescription. This was a *non-emergency* urgent care trip.

Me (32F) and my best friend (34M) have been friends for about 14 years. We used to do everything together and see each other about 4 times a week. We were and still are known in our city to always show up together — he really feels like my brother.
4 years ago he graduated and I was really excited to be there for him. I arranged to have a huge bouquet of flowers ready and see his family again. Last minute, he decided to not invite me. Turned out that he could only bring 2 friends and he chose to have the friends from his class there since they knew everyone. This is what really hurt my feelings and where things turned around.
I’m a very sensitive person, I must admit, but also very loyal and dedicated. I’m expressive in how much I love my friends and love to hug or call my friends nicknames. He never really does this to me, but I thought it was just him being slightly autistic (he really is) and I accepted it. The thing is, the last few years he added a lot of female friends to his friend group that he does do this to. He is gay and very friendly, most women would love a gay best friend and I felt the competition whenever he would invite other women to hang out with us. They turn their backs to me, not really talk to me or just hang around him all the time and act as if I’m not there. He started inviting them before inviting me or just not hang with me alone anymore.
It happened a few times and I mentioned it a couple times. He told me he noticed, but it keeps happening.
Right now there’s a new friend that he hangs out with a lot and I just see the difference in how he treats her in comparison to me. I can’t help but to feel jealous and I’m ashamed of it. He goes out of his way to be liked by her. I miss being the most important friend to him since I can feel the shift and he still is that person to mess I know he cares about me and I don’t want to make him feel attacked, but I also want to mention it to him. He’s putting way less effort into our friendship than he used to, even though he still wants to see me, and he just kind of acts like I’ll always be there anyway — so why doing your best, basically.
I really don’t know how to approach this. I want to tell him, cause it’s been bothering me, but I also don’t want to make it worse. To me, he’ll be my best friend for the rest of our lives, but the whole situation makes me incredibly sad. Of course he can have other friends, but I don’t want to feel excluded like this and so insignificant.
How do I approach this without making it sound like he’s the problem, but more so like this bothers me and to check how he feels about this?

I've (18f) put off coming out to my family for 3 years now, my mum knows but we're on really awkward terms about it, shes not unsupportive its just that i've made it really awkward between us. But my dad and my brother don't know.
I think part of it is being scared to have to sit down and say it all in a conversation, it would just be so awkward and id be too embarrased to do it. Being at uni, the way i came out was more gradual, i slowly started presenting more femme to face my fear of being judged (think like exposure therapy) until finally i gave up caring what others thought and it really took off from there, i've never been happier. But at home its a different matter.
Let me tell you a bit about each of my family:
My mum, she is supportive of me and is currently the only one in my family ive told. as i've said i told her 2 years ago but i did it in the complete wrong way lol, she hasnt seen me be feminine once in person (but she knows i am when shes not around), the only bits shes seen of it is are long discussions, normally me ranting about the political shitstorm surrounding us. So its quite awkward as ive only really got stressed about it around her, she knows i am embarrassed about it, and i know she knows, and its a bit of a crazy subject lol.
My dads not necessarily unsupportive but he definitely believes in the "woke snowflakes" narrative, he's said some things like "a man cant become a woman" and has spoken about "gender ideology" but i'm putting it down to being misinformed. he suspects im gay but thats as far as it goes. He'd get over it eventually but it would be a bit mental at first and would take him.... a while for us to not cringe up every time we see each other lol.
My brother, he's younger than me and i imagine the initial reaction would be like raised eyebrows and a giggle, but then he will actually turn out to be the most supportive of me.
Overall i have a very loving family and as it goes im probably one of the luckiest. But that doesnt mean its not shit scary for me to come out.
I was just wondering whether anyone has experience of coming out in the way i described., not all at once but sort of gradually being less and less subtle until someone brings it up. Would this work, in your opinion?
Thank you :)

It’s a beautiful summer day, warm but not overbearingly hot nor humid, and you figure it’s a good time to take care of the grass. You get out the lawnmower, rev it up, and go along slowly cutting swathes through the overgrown green… then suddenly the stupid fucking machine breaks down. You stop for a moment, contemplate kicking it, and attempt to restart. Through some small miracle the mower does return to function…for all of three minutes. Then it sputters out a mechanical wheeze, leaving not only the job half-done but also your afternoon plans.
Much like your lawnmower, starting pitcher Garret Whitlock can only handle so much of the role designed for him. He’ll graze through at least most of the front yard, but that’s as far as his cranky body can handle before breaking down.
Don’t believe me? Here’s a look at every single major league start by Garret Whitlock and how he followed up:

2022
The Red Sox granted Whitlock a short leash to open the season, as in his first two starts he threw a combined 109 pitches across seven innings. It was in his third start that the training wheels came off, and Whitlock celebrated with five dominant innings, giving up only two runs on a home run and striking out nine Angels. However he struggled mightily against the Braves in his next appearance, giving up three runs in as many innings, striking out five but also walking four (he did not walk a single batter in his dominance of the Angels).
Two more middling starts followed before Whitlock tossed another quality game against Baltimore—two runs allowed in six innings with four K’s and only one walk. He actually followed this up with an even better performance five days later facing the Reds, six innings without a single earned run allowed, no walks but strangely also no strikeouts. Anyways, the Angels got to Whitlock six days after that, whereupon he hit the injured list for the next month. When he returned, the Red Sox likewise returned him to his bullpen role, where he stayed healthy and productive until the last two weeks of a lost season.

2023
The Red Sox again attempted to use Whitlock as a starter to begin the season, and in his second start he once again trounced the Angels in seven innings of three-hit ball (two walks and five strikeouts). And once again, Whitlock struggled in his very next start and hit the injured list for a month.
Returning in late May, he pitched well in five innings against the Diamondbacks, was knocked around by the Rays to begin June, then gave the Sox two consecutive quality starts in which he pitched a combined 13.1 innings, 13 strikeouts, 2 walks, and 180 pitches. It looked like he was finally setting in to becoming a starting pitcher, perhaps even an ace.
Unfortunately, despite going seven innings in Minnesota Whitlock struggled (eight hits and four runs allowed), then had the worst game of his career against the usually punchless Marlins, battered around for eleven hits and six runs. After pitching the first frame in Toronto on July 2, Whitlock went on the injured list for a month. When he returned, the Red Sox likewise returned him to the bullpen, where he was both healthy and productive through the end of the season.

2024
The Red Sox once again attempted to use Whitlock as a starter to begin the season, and he fulfilled this trust in at least his first start against the Mariners with five dominant innings. Unfortunately, he struggled against the Angels in his second start (no runs allowed but four walks and four hits in four innings, albeit also four strikeouts), and after a decent outing against the Orioles he exited his fourth start early, which is where we currently are today.
My prediction at the time was that Whitlock will hit the injured list for the next month or so, whereupon the Red Sox will attempt to put him back in the rotation. He’ll pitch well for a handful of starts, pitch six innings in one of them, then immediately break down again. When he returns a month after that, he’ll be put back in the bullpen for the rest of the season. So far he has in fact been on the IL for the past month.

Hi, just seeking advice if anyone has been in a similar situation (either the people pleaser friend who exploded, or the one that was broken up with) and can shed light on how you felt.
Essentially I had a best friend for many years who I considered a sister - we had such fun together and I shared my most vulnerable feelings with her. I loved her so much and put her on a pedestal in some ways; because I was so grateful she was in my life, I poured lots of effort into doing special things for her (gifts, gestures etc). That’s my love language, and I also realize now that I have anxious attachment and fear of abandonment so some of that was to show how much I loved her (aka please don’t leave me).
She’s the type of person who is caring, always there to listen (as am I). I felt like out of any of my friends she truly saw me (good and bad!) and cared genuinely about my happiness.
But she’s also a people pleaser, hates confrontation and there were times where she’d end up being passive aggressive and push me away in ways that were hurtful. It was always about her being overwhelmed with demands on her (from her husband who she has described as clingy, and family, and then of course me). We did discuss it a few times and she realized she did that, and felt bad that I said she made me feel like a burden, etc. I said that she could say no to me if she couldn’t do things. She was starting to do that, and it didn’t bother me at all, but I imagine each time it was difficult for her?
Fast forward, I was going through a heartbreak and she was there for me. She was simultaneously going through a stressful period and had talked to me a few times throughout, and I was there for her. This isn’t a situation where I ignored her if she needed. I wanted her to rely on me, particularly bc I knew that she’d been there for me many times. But she’s a very positive, happy person, and has only really asked for help a few times. She felt she didn’t really need therapy and didn’t have many issues.
One day, she was upset about something that was going poorly in her life. I tried to check in on her. She started doing the classic passive aggressive forecasting of how stressed and busy she was. Then she asked for space. It triggered something in me and I said that I was hurt bc I was just trying to be there for her. I’m aware I should have just said yes, and that her honesty and boundary setting was actually a positive, but I was wrapped up in my own trigger in that moment from our past conversations. So that was my mistake.
This led to a phone call in which she unleashed in the most cruel way. I had an out of body experience, hearing things like I was always “nagging her”, that I “put myself in a bad situation and expected her to pick up the pieces” (my heartbreak), that I was too needy, and that she thought I was manipulative bc I always said how grateful I was for her but I have so many friends (wtf?!). She also didn’t feel I wanted her to be happy. She insisted she loved my personality and this wasn’t a character assassination. I literally just hung up in shock and that was it. I didn’t defend myself. There was no point. I couldn’t believe someone who knew me so well could have such harsh critiques of me. My heart was broken and I spent months hating myself and doing therapy. I have lasting scars in that I’m so afraid now of any friendship ending, I can’t deal with conflict in other friend situations.
In the past, I’d worked on things that she’d pointed out she didn’t like (which were fair and true, and I’m glad she was upfront about them - dumb 20s immature behavior by me). This was conveyed by her in an email listing things I’d done wrong. I apologized for the things that she was right about but defended myself against things that were not fair and we both said our friendship was stronger for it and moved on (I’d thought). I’m not a people pleaser, and used to be fine dealing with conflict in healthy ways but now I’m fucking terrified of it.
I’ve tried so hard to understand her. Is this common with people pleasing? To build up resentment and cruelly explode?
Sure, I’ve got flaws but I’m a reflective non-defensive person who tries to evolve constantly, and this felt so unnecessarily harsh given our history. The only way I could understand it (having read about people pleasers now) is to think she had no choice and must have been struggling with resentment that it spilled over. So in a lot of ways, I blame myself.

I lost my mother a month ago to pancreatic cancer. I am 21 y/o. My mum and I lived alone together since I was 9 years old, so we were really close and did almost everything together. She was the only person I could 100% rely on and tell everything. The only one who truly loved and cared for me. I haven’t had contact with my father in 10 years and I don’t have a big family (brother and grandmother). It feels like half of me is missing and I don’t how to handle the situation. I feel very alone in my grief because no one in my social circle can relate, and my brother and I are different places in our grief, so we don’t talk much about her passing. I don’t know how to accept it and find peace. Any good advice?

We are REFORGE! A Cutting Edge focused mythic raiding guild on Tichondrius. We are currently recruiting and are looking for a few exceptional players to join our raid team as we make preparations for the upcoming expansion. Our ideal candidates are players with high skill and mechanics who are self motivated to attain CE on a 2 night raiding schedule.
In Shadowlands the guild attained CE in Castle Nathria and Sanctum of Domination. Unfortunately Sepulcher was kind of a mess so the guild only reached Anduin before burning out and calling it for the rest of the tier.
In Dragonflight the guild missed CE by a boss or two (Raszageth Phase 3, Sarkareth Phase 3, Tindral Phase 2), We are close and I believe if we have the right players and the right preparation going into the new expansion we can be CE 2-day raiding guild once again.
Our raid plan for season 4 will be to clear the awakened raid at heroic and mythic difficulty as far as we can go within our designated tues/weds progression raid nights. Thursday are optional raid days but once heroic is moved off tues/weds we intend to full clear on this day. Season 4 as a whole will serve as training and preparation for the upcoming expansion and raid tier as we want to put together a very solid team going into The War Within.
Current AWAKENED Progression:
Vault: 8/8H, 4/8M
Aberrus: 9/9H, 3/9M
Amirdrassil: 9/9H, 4/9M
In regards to our roster, we try to run a deep but competitive roster to insure that we always have enough raiders to raid. We determine the nightly rosters based on recent performance, optimal raid composition, and attendance. Attendance is important but we are a guild of professional adults with jobs/families and we understand that absences will happen and IRL > WoW. We ask that you just be communicative about it so that the officers are aware and can make the adjustments.
Raid Times:
Tuesday and Wednesday: 8pm-11pm Pacific (11pm-2am Eastern)
Please let me know if you're interested by filling out our app and joining our discord server (After you submit the app you will find the link on the next page)!

https://tinyurl.com/reforge-referral 

Imagine this situation: You end up accidentally running over a man, after you take him to the hospital, you end up discovering that he has lost his memory and as they couldn't find any member of that person's family, you end up having to take care of him and bring him home
With time and coexistence, you end up falling in love with this person and you end up declaring yourself to him... and he feels the same but later, you end up discovering that he committed a very heinous crime before losing his memory, What do you do?

Stuck and need to let it out
Before i start i know i am very stupid for the choices i made. I (26f) got married to my husband (30m) when i was 21 we met from mutual friends and i fell in love with him and it was a feeling ill never forget. He was an amazing guy until he wasn’t he was always very charming and people instantly liked him when meeting him. There is more details but i am going to try to sum it up. I worked a little after marriage than covid hit and i got pregnant with my first born. He took care of me financially always and assured me i dont need to work anyways. I was with him when he was struggling i never complained as a newly wed who barley got to spend time with her husband because i understood i never asked him to take me out or anything i stood by him and now hes very successful (ill get back to why i mentioned that later) my pregnancy was very stressful in my 7th month he hit me and i had bruises on my neck and face i dont even remember what the fight was about after giving birth i struggled alot i was 22 years old i kept finding porn and videos being sent between friends which i have seen before but it started to make me feel bad about myself which i have always been confident before him i told him it bothered me and it never stopped so now im 23 and insecure and i alter my body and do a procedure thinking that will fix things (as i said i know im stupid) he strangled me 2 months after giving birth to the point that i passed out and woke up he almost killed me i never told anyone. He kept saying hes changing and well work things out so i forgave him. My family dosent believe in divorce and as much support i have from them i don’t want to disappoint them. We did good for a little bit we moved to a bigger place and than we moved again to another bigger place that i am in currently. In between all of that there was stuff that i kept seeing that hurt me and bothered me but anytime i say anything he says its me who keeps digging which is true because i grew up having a father who cheated on my mom and i saw it first hand im not going to lie it traumatized me but i did not project it on him until after he started doing the things he did. Hes a very jealous person himself he always tried to control everything he hates that im good looking he tells me all the time he should have married someone “ugly” i do NOT dress provocative at all i barley show any skin but somehow EVERYTHING always leads back to how i dress and all our problems are my fault because of how i dress he says that when we go out men always check me out and it angers him even tho i am not showing any damn skin. Anyways mothers day 2022 he hit me again but he says he didnt but the bruises on my arms say otherwise i have pictures of it and it was bad he tried to throw me down the stairs i begged him not to. Sadly i still wanted to be loved i forgave him moved on he is would buy me gifts and cards and because im so stupid i believed he was sorry anyways now its 2023 and i find out im pregnant i didnt know how i felt my first born was lonley so i thought at least they will have a sibling.. surprise its twins and i knew im going to go through it i had the worse pregnancy i almost died i developed pre eclampsia and my doctor missed it i gave birth early my whole pregnancy i was alone i was so lonley just me and my first born i cried everyday husband was working so i couldn’t complain without it turning to a fight even though its his company and he could afford to have been there a little for me it is not 7 months after i gave birth physically i feel good mentally i dont he is never there for me as a husband i been telling him i feel like he’s just a roomate at this point we have no dates barley any intimacy which had been going on for years i know hes insecure and i never used it against him but he always would to me he hates now that i bounced back quickly and like to dress up again because the end of my pregnancy i was very swollen i was wearing all his clothes. I kept crying telling him i have needs just like anyone else i want to feel loved i dont want to live like this but anytime i say anything he says i complain to much now last week he beat me over nothing it was 60 seconds into a petty argument and he attacked me i packed myself and my 3 kids he watched me packing calling me names i left to a hotel for a night nd than my moms house he got backlash from both our families i ended up having to come home for the kids im miserable hes not sorry mothers day he barley acknowledged me But we spent the day and today any time we try to talk about anything he blames me.
I know im stupid i dont know how i can start over again i have 3 kids i am in the works of going back to school so when the babys start school ill have my career because i am financially dependent on him which is my fault i worked since i was 14 but he convinced me not to anymore My oldest loves their father so much it hurts me to put my baby through this drama There is soooooo much more detail and stuff to add Hes not the worse person i guess i bring out the bad in him when all i ever wanted was to be in a healthy marriage and give my kids what i didn’t have growing up
I dont know what to do i know i have to finish school so i can get a stable job but that means i have to stay and suck it up
I never wanted to be divorced but this marriage is over i always thought cheating was the only reason for divorce i am not in love with him but its so hard to let it go i never was like this i was so out going the life of the party i dont even recognize myself i feel so sad and depressed and alone i have the most amazing friends but i cant get myself to open up
How do you move on after having kids?