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2024.05.15 02:50 TigersBot The Tigers fell to the Marlins by a score of 1-0 - Tue, May 14 @ 06:40 PM EDT

Marlins @ Tigers - Tue, May 14

Game Status: Final - Score: 1-0 Marlins

Links & Info

Marlins Batters AB R H RBI BB K LOB AVG OBP SLG
1 Chisholm Jr. - CF 4 0 0 0 0 1 0 .250 .326 .419
2 De La Cruz, B - DH 4 1 0 0 0 1 0 .256 .305 .443
3 Bell - 1B 4 0 2 0 0 0 0 .217 .311 .342
Rivera, E - 1B 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .203 .281 .228
4 Sánchez, J - RF 4 0 1 1 0 1 2 .237 .279 .316
5 Lopez, O - 2B 4 0 1 0 0 2 2 .306 .359 .611
6 Gordon - LF 3 0 0 0 0 1 1 .229 .255 .400
7 Bruján - SS 3 0 0 0 0 1 1 .259 .326 .407
8 Gray - 3B 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000 .000 .000
9 Fortes - C 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 .118 .152 .184
a-Burger - PH 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 .172 .213 .299
Bethancourt - C 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .132 .179 .170
Totals 32 1 4 1 0 8 6
Marlins
a-Struck out for Fortes in the 9th.
BATTING: TB: Bell 2; Lopez, O; Sánchez, J. RBI: Sánchez, J (18). GIDP: Bruján. Team RISP: 1-for-2. Team LOB: 2.
FIELDING: DP: (Lopez, O-Bruján-Bell).
Tigers Batters AB R H RBI BB K LOB AVG OBP SLG
1 Vierling - CF 4 0 1 0 0 1 0 .264 .286 .405
2 Ibáñez - 2B 4 0 0 0 0 1 1 .321 .321 .472
3 Canha - LF 3 0 1 0 1 1 0 .239 .363 .433
4 Greene, R - DH 4 0 0 0 0 1 3 .242 .357 .477
5 Torkelson - 1B 4 0 0 0 0 1 1 .219 .287 .342
6 Urshela - 3B 4 0 0 0 0 0 1 .279 .290 .311
7 Pérez, W - RF 4 0 2 0 0 0 1 .304 .375 .506
8 Báez, J - SS 3 0 0 0 0 0 2 .164 .198 .221
9 Rogers - C 3 0 0 0 0 1 0 .202 .272 .310
Totals 33 0 4 0 1 6 9
Tigers
BATTING: TB: Canha; Pérez, W 2; Vierling. Runners left in scoring position, 2 out: Greene, R; Pérez, W. GIDP: Báez, J. Team RISP: 0-for-4. Team LOB: 5.
FIELDING: DP: (Torkelson-Báez, J).
Marlins Pitchers IP H R ER BB K HR P-S ERA
Weathers 8.0 3 0 0 0 4 0 97-65 3.81
Scott, Tan (W, 2-4) 1.0 1 0 0 1 2 0 19-11 2.12
Puk (S, 1) 1.0 0 0 0 0 0 0 13-9 8.40
Totals 10.0 4 0 0 1 6 0
Tigers Pitchers IP H R ER BB K HR P-S ERA
Olson 8.0 3 0 0 0 6 0 96-60 2.09
Foley 1.0 0 0 0 0 1 0 10-6 2.08
Lange (L, 0-3) 1.0 1 1 0 0 1 0 11-9 2.87
Totals 10.0 4 1 0 0 8 0
Game Info
Pitches-strikes: Weathers 97-65; Scott, Tan 19-11; Puk 13-9; Olson 96-60; Foley 10-6; Lange 11-9.
Groundouts-flyouts: Weathers 13-3; Scott, Tan 1-0; Puk 0-2; Olson 10-2; Foley 1-0; Lange 1-0.
Batters faced: Weathers 26; Scott, Tan 5; Puk 3; Olson 26; Foley 3; Lange 3.
Ejections: Marlins bench coach Luis Urueta ejected by HP umpire Ben May (2nd).
Umpires: HP: Ben May. 1B: CB Bucknor. 2B: Adam Beck. 3B: Dan Iassogna.
Weather: 68 degrees, Partly Cloudy.
Wind: 12 mph, L To R.
First pitch: 6:40 PM.
T: 2:09.
Att: 16,498.
Venue: Comerica Park.
May 14, 2024
Inning Scoring Play Score
Top 10 Jesús Sánchez grounds into a force out, second baseman Andy Ibáñez to shortstop Javier Báez. Bryan De La Cruz scores. Josh Bell out at 2nd. Jesús Sánchez to 1st. 1-0 MIA
Team Highlight
MIA Marlins bench coach Luis Urueta ejected (00:02:51)
DET Tigers turn double play to end the 5th (00:00:24)
DET Wenceel Pérez's single breaks up perfect game (00:00:23)
MIA Ryan Weathers' perfect game bid ends after 5 innings (00:00:11)
DET Reese Olson's dominant outing (00:01:17)
MIA Tanner Scott gets out of the 9th inning jam (00:00:12)
MIA Jesús Sánchez's RBI fielder's choice (00:00:29)
MIA Ryan Weathers' dominant outing (00:01:51)
DET Jesús Sánchez caught stealing 2nd base, catcher Jake Rogers to shortstop Javier Báez. (00:00:15)
MIA A.J. Puk closes out the Marlins shutout victory (00:00:11)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 R H E LOB
Marlins 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 4 0 2
Tigers 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 4 0 5

Decisions

Division Scoreboard

WSH 6 @ CWS 3 - Final
WSH 0 @ CWS 3 - Bottom 4, 0 Outs
NYY 5 @ MIN 1 - Bottom 4, 2 Outs
CLE 6 @ TEX 1 - Bottom 2, 2 Outs
KC @ SEA 09:40 PM EDT
Next Tigers Game: Wed, May 15, 01:10 PM EDT vs. Marlins
Last Updated: 05/14/2024 09:00:36 PM EDT
submitted by TigersBot to motorcitykitties [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 02:50 sexy_puma I’m pregnant

Funny story but we found out I am 6 weeks pregnant the day after we sent out our save the dates 😅
If all works out 🙏🏻 the baby will be about 7-8 weeks old on the day of our wedding… has this happened to anyone?
I’m wondering if this will be too quick of a turn around for a brand new baby and myself to attend a wedding.
If so we will need to figure out a good time to talk to vendors and venue if we would be allowed to change the date of the event 😅
Haven’t really told anyone besides my fiancé so thanks for letting me share the news!
submitted by sexy_puma to weddingplanning [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 02:50 Old_Bee8877 I just tested positive for hsv 2

I feel so in disbelief I almost feel delusional because I don’t want to believe it. It’s very hard for me to accept right now I’m thinking long-term because I am 24. I have one child and I hope to marry and grow my family and as I have been sexually active and actively dating, I want to find my future partner settle down and eventually grow my family and have a husband and I just feel like how’s it going to be on my wedding night and how am I going to find a partner with this disease I feel like my love life dating life, sex life everything is over I feel like my life is ruined. I feel disgusted I don’t ever want to give this to my future children through vaginal birth I’m so uneducated on this is it possible to have a positive swab and negative blood work because the lesions/sores I had look like canker sores when I went to the emergency room they even told me they didn’t look like herpes. They said it look like it syphilis, and all my symptoms were not herpes symptoms. I want to get retested and do bloodwork. Has anyone ever had a swab and it be positive when blood work was negative?
submitted by Old_Bee8877 to HerpesQuestions [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 02:49 charlie0987 Help me know this wasn’t okay. It’s long, I’m sorry.

I thought I would share my story here, because reading about everyone’s experiences has been so incredibly validating. So firstly; from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU everyone- in turn, I hope this helps someone, or that someone resonates with an experience, or adds to the collective consciousness of healing and realising that we deserve better. Because I need to believe that, I need to know this has been bad. I feel completely mental.
I’d like to start by saying this may not make sense and I’m a bit all over the shop rn and I apologise. And there are many, many things I could add to this that have added to the growing sadness and eggshell walking as the relationship went on, but I’ve tried to keep it small. I also want to say that you may be screaming at the screen wondering how I could be so stupid. And to that I say, me too. I am screaming at myself as well. As a 30-something year old woman, I acknowledge I was not the person I wanted to be in this situation. I wanted to be stronger.
I’m currently a couple of weeks out of my break up (or break up attempt 1 as I should probably put it, I’m still sending angry texts, receiving proclamations of love, wondering what if). I was with my nex (narcissistic ex) for nearly 7 years. We were meant to be getting married a week ago. For the last six months, my intuition had been telling me that a “friendship” he had with a coworker wasn’t right. This coworker was going through some stuff, and leant heavily on nex probably because he portrayed himself as a powerhouse at work who said whatever was on his mind and was always, always, always always right (newsflash he wasn’t). Nex has a saviour complex x1000 that I’d never let myself really think too hard about so he went hardcore “supporting her” and I sat on the sidelines thinking she needed that support. I won’t say anything about this girl but she’s not a girl’s girl. She’s a pick me. It kind of felt to me like- of course he’s not going to choose her, why would I worry about it. It’s too OBVIOUS. Like of course not? Look what we have.
Before this and during, Nex and I were planning on buying a house and were getting married (I was doing all the house saving, he had no idea about money but pretended he did, spent impulsively but was on a great salary, and I was doing all the wedding planning) and were planning on having a baby next year-ish. I had reached a point in my career that I was finally happy with, a career he said many shitty things about over our time together but it was the first thing he mentioned when talking to others and trying to impress. He had proposed at year 4 of the relationship (he always said he wouldn’t propose before 3 years because that’s how long his longest relationship was with his ex who he also cheated on). Red flag that yet again I ignored because I was different and this was different and I could change him and blah fucking blah.
Our relationship looked perfect. It really fucking did. I thought it was for a long time. I refused to think it wouldn’t be forever and wasn’t written in the stars. Behind the scenes, now I look back(ish) I realise I was struggling. I had raging PMS each month, often had depressive episodes that he would virtually ignore. I often struggled to watch movies where women had kind, funny and non reactive partners, I secretly envied my friends and their partners because they wouldn’t have to worry about what came out of their partner’s or their mouth next, or who their partner would fight with in the room, or how I would handle a public put down if he was in that mood or if I wasn’t handling myself perfectly. I walked on eggshells for years. I took his self aggrandising every day after work or sport as healthy self confidence. I was being slowly removed from my family as he argued with each one. He bragged about me and I felt like his trophy which I took as love and it gave me a false confidence I’d never had before when I was with him. When I spoke about him my inner voice said ‘wow, he really does sound great.’ His sister would often look at me and I felt like she always wanted to ask if I was really okay but I never let her. I had supported nex through addiction to weed/alcohol/substances of every kind (something I struggled to do because they have never been on my radar, just uninterested, and I was the bad person for that, I was the ‘child’ who wouldn’t immerse herself in the wonderful world of drugs), countless interpersonal issues at work and with his family, trying to support all sides, I had organised every home we had lived in, I organised cooking, cleaning, fun weekends, it was my goal to get him the most thoughtful and lovely presents I could find whenever I could. It was like it was my goal to be a fabulous girlfriend. I’m really not trying to pretend I’m perfect, but I can say 100% honestly that I put all I could into making him feel loved. He used to call me a unicorn, I guess because I just did whatever he wanted. However, I felt like I was going to bed in tears more often than anyone should. I got to the point where I wouldn’t put eye cream on because I knew I was just going to cry it off. Every Sunday morning I got a bit triggered by our local coffee shop because I always felt like that was where we were trying to pick up the pieces emotionally after fighting the night before over absolutely anything. I found this taxing, because never had I had such a tumultuous relationship with anyone before and I was wondering wtf was happening. He, on the other hand, often said how much he enjoyed conflict and he loved the feeling of anger. He said it to everyone and I always laughed it off. He said he was so good at handling people and he charmed so well, as he is incredibly good looking. He had issues with everyone - his bosses, his friends, his coworkers, his neighbours. We were in couples counselling after I couldn’t be yelled at anymore, and he had told a friend of ours that it was for me and not for him. I chose not to believe he said that because this friend had had issues with him too and I thought it might’ve been an attempt from them of triangulation. I believe them now. I’m so sorry to that friend. Two of his friends sent me messages on seperate occasions asking me if I was okay, that I didn’t have to put up with this.
Something I am proud of is that I, often, when I felt strong, and my brain worked, didn’t play along with his ego without a fight. I DID play devils advocate for the other person when he had yet another interpersonal issue. I DID call out his dogmatism. I DID expect more from him, that he didn’t have to yell CUNT or WHORE every time something went mildly wrong. However, there are times when I didn’t. And it was because I was just fucking exhausted.
Two/three months ago, and after I found a deleted phone call from the other woman that he lied to my face about, I started watching his find my iPhone which we had turned on when I went overseas a couple of years earlier but I’d forgotten about. It felt gross doing, I didn’t want to, but I also tried to justify it to myself by saying it’s my future, damn it, let’s see if I really am being ridiculous. One early morning while it was still dark, I felt him kiss me and say he was going to the gym. An hour later I woke up with an EERIE AS FUCK feeling and checked FMI. He was at her address. I called him and he didn’t pick up. I watched his car drive on FMI back to the gym and he conveniently called. I asked where he had been and he immediately gaslit me, said he was at the gym, FACETIMED ME TO SHOW ME and said that he couldn’t do my “jealousy” anymore. I broke down and told him I knew he had been at hers through FMI. He then started crying and said he visited her to call the friendship off “the right way” and that he told her that he cared for her but he had to stop because I couldn’t take it anymore and was too jealous. I bought it, as he never ever cried. I apologised. But from then on, my body was full of anxiety and pain. Life was on autopilot.
This happened a few other times. I had a weird feeling one afternoon on a Saturday when he said he was at the gym and had to pop into work to do some printing (not unusual). On autopilot, unable to feel emotions and probably looking completely mental, I got in my car, drove to the workplace, and saw both their cars outside. As I turned the corner to drive away, realising it HAD to be over now, you stupid bitch Charlie0987 it HAD to be over, I immediately got a call from him explaining away, can’t even remember what he said now. It’s not what you think, we have some important work to do that she can’t do alone, you’re jealous, she’s (the other woman) is angry that you even think anything is going on. I ended up apologising that night. Yep. However, at that point I did call off the wedding. I thought the wedding stress and money (literally, me fucking planning it, most of MY money) was the problem. I thought if we just eloped, we’d be okay. Calling everyone to call off the wedding while pretending to them and myself that it was all okay was fucked. I have no other way to describe it than completely and utterly fucked. He was then nice for a few days. I was heartbroken I couldn’t have the wedding I has envisioned, I didn’t let myself think of the love that was crashing down around me. Everyone asked me how the wedding planning was going, every day it was someone new. I had to pretend it was all fine and that we cancelled for financial reasons. It was hell. I will never again ask someone planning a wedding how the wedding planning is going until they bring it up with me.
All through this, I was supporting my friend with a very rare form of cancer (it doesn’t feel real typing this out, feels like some kind of shitty movie). I remember crying about it once on the couch and he said that my crying annoyed him, and that what the other woman had gone through was bad too. He said he didn’t want to have sex with me because I was too skinny (I was depressed and not eating) and cried too much and because I didn’t exercise and he was attracted to people that exercised (fair enough, but also fuck you). Still, through all this, I loved him, tried to be what he had loved about me for six years (compassionate and quiet) and told myself it was okay and it was a rough patch.
All through this, our couples counsellor was saying my attachment issue and abandonment issues was what was a huge part of the problem and that males and females have friendships and I needed to gtfo it. Like every human being I’m sure I have had fears of abandonment, and I do acknowledge I have relied on the safe feeling of men in the past. However, I NOW don’t think it was the main issue here. I don’t blame this counsellor if I’m honest, he was eating what was being fed to him by nex. And I wanted to believe it too. I was willing to work on myself and I was trying to see my anxiety for what I thought, and what I was being told, it was. Nex told me regularly when I asked him not to yell at me that I just didn’t understand real men.
A couple of weeks before D Day, nex asked for space to “miss me”. I went to my family, pretended he’d gone on a trip so I wouldn’t get asked why I was there, tried to show up for work, tried to be strong. I slept next to my wedding dress, still boxed. Those weeks were probably the worst weeks of my life. I didn’t know where he was, didn’t know who he was with, but we were still together, I didn’t eat, got medication to sleep, mindlessly partook in my hobbies to try to do the right thing and be the person he loved. He treated me like I was an annoying fly and either didn’t reply to messages or sent a few and then nothing. After four days of me barely eating and sleeping and looking like an emaciated ghost, I asked if I could come home (I loved our rental, it was such a safe space for me with my garden and my animals). He replied basically fine, and then for the rest of the week I was chastised for not giving enough space and that it wasn’t proper space. Couples counsellor agreed with him. A week later I said fuck it and went again, feeling a bit stronger this time. On day 3, I felt sick all day. I had a nap in the afternoon and felt dread. I had received no messages, but I messaged that I loved him that night. He love hearted it. I found out later he had been with her all day, but don’t worry, it was for a good reason he said. Intuition yet again picked that one up.
The next morning I got up, packed, and went home as it was our agreed upon day that I’d return. I said to him this is actually it, I can’t take this anymore. I am physically and mentally wrecked. It’s been six years. You’re a big boy. You’re either in it or you’re not. It was a big conversation, and we agreed that we would be in it together, the relationship was worth saving, and I would step back and agree to believe in his supportive friendship with this girl and no longer worry. He also agreed to tell me if he didn’t want to be together anymore, or if anything came up regarding this relationship with the girl. We set a date to elope for end of year. He went to the gym, and I remember saying to him I was so happy we’re choosing us. He kissed me and said me too. I felt elated and safe. I then re packed my bag, as I was taking my friend to her first cancer treatment the day after.
When he got back from the gym, he went to the shower. Now we had agreed with the couples counsellor not to check each others phones for a while. I had been okay with it, and didn’t have an issue leaving his phone. But once he got into the shower, my intuition, my chest, my body, SCREAMED at me to check his notes in his phone for the first time in weeks. I went into notes and found a text drafted to the other woman. It said something along the lines of “X and I have agreed to a break when she takes her friend to cancer treatment. I told her I wasn’t sexually attracted to her anymore but I was to you. I’m feeling so over it now she’s home, I want more space” plus some other awful stuff that I’ve buried down and can’t quite remember. At no point, ever, did we agree to a break. I dropped his phone, went into the bathroom, and told him I was leaving. I can’t remember much of the next few moments. I do remember he turned it on me for looking at his phone, then him crying. I remember screaming, screaming screaming at him. I had raised my voice hardly ever in our entire relationship so I can imagine that was a moment for him. But I just screamed. I asked if he was planning on trying to sleep with her when I was with my friend for radiation. He nodded. He blocked me from the door to “talk” and tried to grab me into a hug. I screamed and screamed. I put (the most random shit btw, a dress, some acne cream, a book??) some things into a bag and I got into the car, howling. And I sat there a moment and I STILL WONDERED IF I SHOULD LEAVE.
I STILL WONDERED IF I SHOULD LEAVE.
And I did. I drove away from our beautiful little secluded rental that I had poured my love into and was hoping to raise a baby in. I knew I couldn’t afford the rent alone but he can even with his pathetic spending habits and I can’t live in the place of our memories. I went to my family and fell apart. I’m not going to disclose further about my mental state or what happened but I got sent to be with other family for a couple of weeks in another state. He has been messaging me ever since. Promises of change, of moving away, of starting again, of selling a property that he bought before us and has sat doing nothing our entire relationship and was the reason we couldn’t buy our home, (frustrating that he reaps the reward of that now), saying he has blocked this other woman from his life (he still works with her and I refuse to believe he hasn’t had ongoing contact). Oh and on the day I drove to be with my family in another state, the universe decided to let my car meet her car, with him in it, at an intersection. He crouched down like the coward he is. She looked like a stunned mullet. I waved at her. I was hysterical. Can’t even remember it fully but I remember the feeling. That’s the love of my life in there with another woman. It. Was. Fucking. Hell. On. Earth. I still can’t believe that happened. What were actually the odds of that happening?
I’ve gone through so much anger towards her but I KNOW it’s misdirected. I’m slowly moving towards anger towards him. I haven’t messaged her telling her how my life has been destroyed and I won’t. I think she will thrive on it and she has a young kid who my heart bleeds for. And I have so much anger towards the series of events that had to happen in the first place and what feels like the wasted last 7 years of the best years of my life. I miss my home and my non-existent child and I miss arms around me. I miss him when he was nice. I hate that I don’t have what everyone else around me seems to have at this age, what I want so desperately. Please, please let me know I can get through this. Let me know I can’t go back. Please tell me this is abuse and it won’t get better because I am struggling to believe it. I’m also super fragile right now so if you want to say anything mean, just hold it for now and bring it to me later.
Love to you all. X
submitted by charlie0987 to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 02:33 Ok-Inflation-4705 Am I (25F) experiencing "future-faking" with my BF (29M) or is my past making me perceive problems where there aren't any?

***I posted this originally in raisedbynarcissists but think this might be a better place for it
TLDR: I'm struggling to understand if my relationship issues are genuine concerns or my past influencing my perception. My boyfriend (29M) and I (25F) have been dating long-distance for 10 months. He initially talked a lot about our future, including plans to get a place together, but has since become non-committal and distant. Given my history with a narcissistic parent, I'm unsure if these are red flags or typical relationship hurdles. I'm worried he's "future faking" me. Any advice on discerning these issues would be appreciated. ___________________________
Sorry this is so long - It's clearly weighing heavy on my mind and I also have a habit of overexplaining myself due to my past. Believe it or not, this was my attempt to keep it short.
As someone raised by a single narcissistic parent, I (25F) have a lot of difficulty in figuring out if my perception is accurate or if I'm misinterpreting things. I've spent years working on this in therapy and have made progress in figuring out when I'm being treated poorly, specifically in platonic relationships, but have still a ways to go.
Recently, I've gotten into a relationship with my bf (29M) after having been single for 5 years. The person I've started dating proactively chased me during this time and I was clear that I wanted to be just friends due to concerns about long-distance, feeling overwhelmed with the interest they had in me without knowing me super well, and feeling like my boundaries weren't being respected. Over those 5 years, we developed a strong friendship/relationship and these issues resolved (except for the long-distance). I had a major life event happen in 2023 that had me questioning how much of my life I had lived in fear and avoidance. Simultaneously, this person was a huge support to me while I went through this difficult moment. I decided I was ready to pursue a romance with him and he agreed he wanted to too. So we started officially dating roughly 10 months ago.
In the beginning of our relationship, he would make tons of comments about our future together, talking about our kids, what life would be like when we're married, trips that we would take, etc. I was hesitant in the beginning to believe this, but slowly started to imagine this future too and would join in these conversations. I had never dated someone who so openly talked about a future with me and while it felt scary in the beginning, I started to feel like it was a beautiful thing and I was experiencing healthy love.
Back in January, he started to talking to me about getting a place in my city. Although we're long distance, he has to come to my city fairly often for business reasons and likes to extend his stays to spend time with me. I initially thought he just meant something for himself that he would stay in when he was in my city. This wasn't super surprising since he has an apartment in another city sitting completely empty and he was talking about getting a place in another city for when he'd visit before we started dating. To be clear, he has vast financial resources. Like hundreds of millions.
I was excited that he was going to get a place in my city, because I knew it would make him more comfortable when he'd visit and therefore make his visits more likely. However, he clarified to me a week later that he actually wanted to get a place for the both of us - where I would stay full time and he would stay when he was visiting. He was surprised that I thought this would just be his place. I thought about it and got excited at the idea (although I had some concerns about living alone for those periods he wasn't there - I've always had roommates and have loved it honestly).
Once I agreed, he said he wanted to start looking at places when he was visiting my city for a few weeks that February. I started to look at places online and have conversations with him about what we'd both want. February came, he didn't make any effort or mention of seeing places in person. My roommates started to ask me if I'd be renewing the lease with them or not and I told them I wasn't sure. I'd periodically bring it up to him and emphasize that we probably need to start looking and make serious progress on it. He would agree, but I wouldn't hear anything more about it. Finally, I told him I needed to give my roommates a final answer about it. He said that I should renew the lease with them so that we're not rushed into finding something and can find the perfect place. He said it was okay if the leases overlapped, assuring me that it wouldn't be a problem and he'd cover it financially. I was hesitant, but given his vast wealth, I figured this was just one of those rich people things where comfort is prioritized over wastefulness.
He has not brought it up since. Recently, I had felt some distance from him. He wasn't as communicative. He flaked on a vacation we were supposed to go on during my spring break at the last minute due to a conference he wanted to attend. He was vague about when he would be able to visit next, saying that I could visit him whenever even though he knew I was in school until May. He invited me to go to a friend's wedding in a far away state in late April, but said he figured I wouldn't be able to go because he knew I had finals. I decided to make it work by flying in for 48 hours despite having finals. While we were together in person, it didn't seem like anything was wrong at all. I decided to talk to him about some of these concerns and mentioned the apartment. He said that he wanted to find the perfect place for us and not stress about it. I told him that I get that, but we need to take action in order to find the perfect place. He said that there's no rush. I pointed out he said he wanted to start looking at places in February, so it seemed like he wanted to get a place fairly soon, but I was feeling confused because since those early talks, I've been the only one to talk to him about it. I told him that it felt like he didn't want to get a place with me anymore. He said that he does want to still but when he brought it up to me, he meant he wanted to get a place in the future and there's no timeline. In his head, it will happen eventually and I shouldn't be worried (????? WTF). Anyways, I decided to drop it and give him the benefit of the doubt.
He also early on told me how excited he was for when we go to his home country, how we'll go in the next year, how he needs to take me there. A week or two ago, an opportunity came up where he would be in a nearby country for business and I would be on a break from school. We talked about me going with him and then going to his home country after for a bit. Yesterday, I asked him about it and he started to express doubts, saying he's never taken a girl home before... Keep in mind: 1) I have already met his parents and brothers more than once. 2) This man has only dated one other person, and it was in high school. 3) This man has been talking about taking me there as soon as its convenient since we started dating.
I'm worried given my past with parental narcissistic abuse and having my perception constantly questioned/invalidated that I'm not able to identify red flags unless they're really severe or different from what I experienced growing up. Prior to this relationship, I always pursued men that were emotionally distant and whose love I had to earn because it felt safer (and mirrored my relationship with my absent parent). This is the first time I've dated someone who consistently showed interest in me. I thought this was healthier and that I was recalibrating my dating patterns, but now I'm starting to have doubts. I'm feeling like I can't trust his word anymore. I'm starting to wonder if he's been future faking me.
What do you guys think? Any tips on what I should be looking out for in the future? Or how you can know with certainty that there might be love bombing/future faking before things get worse? I don't want to find myself in a position years down the line in an abusive or toxic relationship and realize that there were signs I missed/ignored earlier on. I also don't want to ruin a happy and healthy relationship because I'm making mountains out of mole hills.
submitted by Ok-Inflation-4705 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 02:30 CryptographerSuch253 Odd ball characters.

So I am rereading a lot of my old faves. And I know people talk about Thomas Hunt as sort of being an ‘oddball character’ they love. But I was curious what are some choices fans odd ball side characters they just adore and wish to see more of. And I mean like really weird but oddly cute (not attractive cute but cute). Thomas was to me seems to just stick out because he might come across as ‘pretentious’ and complaining if you didn’t know the character very well.
My faves are from Red carpet Diaries. Chadley, Gloria and Markus. I am playing that scene where Markus and Jessica meet in Greece again. I always choose the scene where she goes to dinner and the disco with him. I like that scene in the hotel before it too because Markus genuinely has nothing against Jessica. The painting is never mentioned again if you choose the nice paths with Jessica. And you get such a fun scene with him at your wedding in book 3 if you don’t speak ill of Markus. I really love that friendship.
Chadley is adorable even if a bit of an airhead. I would date him willingly! (Sorry Victoria.) I have a thing for genuinely nice guys and I can handle “stupid” I would totally stick up for him. Luckily though he’s not a real LI option I still love my Matt.
And Gloria spirits or no is a great friend. She is a so fun.
There are a few more from other books but these are the big ones for me.
submitted by CryptographerSuch253 to Choices [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 02:29 grainsofsand11 A friend that I am now not close to invited me to her wedding and I don't want to attend.

I (30F) have a friend from law school. We met during covid online in a class via zoom when we were placed in a breakout room together in 2020. Our friendship grew through text since it was covid. After lockdown lifted, we met and hung out maybe once a week or so during the remaining few months of law school but we were constantly in touch through text. We have not met up since graduation in May 2022 but we both were in constant communication when we were taking the bar exam that summer (we both failed) and talked confided our thoughts/feelings/fears etc when we failed. She decided to retake it last year in summer but to not tell anyone besides me, her mom, and fiance (that's what she tells me anyway).
She's more outgoing and friendly than I am lol so in law school she had a lot of friends. I also was friends with some of them but not as close. Anyway, a couple months after re-taking the bar exam that she didn't tell any of the friends about but me, she has an engagement party/bachelorette type event on an island and invites other friends that we mutually had but not me. I saw it all on social media and was kinda upset since I thought we were pretty close. Since then we haven't really talked as much. Maybe five or so conversations through text and mainly just catching up but not actually meeting up (which I did suggest a couple times).
So I received her wedding invite a couple weeks ago and I'm supposed to submit my RSVP in a few days. I don't really want to go because I kinda feel like I've been rejected or something over the other more outgoing, fun, party friends. It's also in a really busy city slightly over two hour drive away from where I live now and I wouldn't have a plus one. I had told her I'm dating someone a couple months ago but she didn't say I could bring him and the physical invite also is only for one person. I am currently not dating the guy I told her about and am single which she doesn't know, but I thought it was inconsiderate to not ask me if I wanted to bring someone. Anyway idk how I would get there lol because I've never driven alone to a major city with all the traffic and whatnot and am kinda apprehensive about it. But also, I feel like if I don't go, I'm essentially closing the door on this "friendship"?
What should I do? OR what would you do? All thoughts are welcome.
submitted by grainsofsand11 to AskWomenOver30 [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 02:25 Top_Lettuce6682 November Wedding?

I'm newly engaged (yay!) and am starting the planning process. I found a venue that I love - and the price tag is good.
It's $140/person for a wedding between May-October, but $105 between November-April. The difference would make a pretty big difference in our final budget.
We are planning to get married in 2025, and I'm thinking about the first weekend in November as a potential date - but I'm conflicted as it might be too close to Christmas? Is it too close or am I just overthinking?
submitted by Top_Lettuce6682 to weddingplanning [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 02:23 Calm-Mountain-7850 Is this too much?

A little background on us, me (26F) and my fiancé (26M) have been dating for 10 years. We met playing hockey then went to the same college so most of our friends are pretty much mutual. After college we got a house and everything. Last year he proposed, I said yes so we’ve been passively planning throwing ideas around. We haven’t been in a hurry but now we both have big boy/girl jobs and can properly finance a wedding and want to get the ball rolling. We have accumulated a large guest list with my fiancé adding most of his teammates, and me having a decent sized family. We want a small intimate church wedding with a small reception with mostly family and close friends. Then at a later date basically have a party to celebrate with all of our friends and family, like a pig roast and potluck.
We both have been leaning this way but I was starting to wonder if it was too much?
submitted by Calm-Mountain-7850 to wedding [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 02:12 IceJD 📲 62.2.0 Observations - (OTA May 14th) 📲

This update is deploying as a forced update...... for most people it will be ~1MB in size
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1. Event Changes

Chart Images will be updated and added soon!
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🎼🎶 Music Clear Event
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💀🎸🏜 Coco Clear Event
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🎭🎨🎬🩰 Festival of the Arts Clear Event
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🐸🪕🐷🎤🐻🍅🥁⛓ Muppets Clear Event
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2. Changed/Relocated Emojis

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3. 📦🏷 One (or Two) Day Special Boxes 🏷📦

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4. 🎯Emoji Specific Sales 🎯

This is the new sale type that started just a week ago, described in this post
‍🎯 May 18th-19th - Ariel (2023)
🎯 May 20th - World Bee Day
🎯 May 23rd - World Turtle Day
🎯 June 5th - World Environment Day
🎯 June 9th - World Donald Duck Day
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5. 🏴‍☠️ "Cascading" Sales Changes 🏴‍☠️

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6. 🍡🎰 GUMBALL MACHINE SALES 🎰🍡

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7. Changes to the Friend Invite Process

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submitted by IceJD to disneyemojiblitz [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 02:11 aadeority summer school

So I’m a first year student and I’m taking 2 SU courses in the summer. Math 1507 & LE EECS 1520. Does anyone know when midterms happen? I have a wedding to attend to during the third week of June I don’t want the dates to clash.
submitted by aadeority to yorku [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 02:08 throwRA_91737 How can a person cheat and still be happy?

I just don’t get it. I did everything. He literally was filling out green card papers with me while actively cheating on me. He was telling me our wedding would be beautiful while cheating on me. He planned our flights out with me while cheating on me. He said he loved me and all he wanted was me, while he cheated on me.
It’s been 2 years and I just don’t get it. I’m over here traumatized and never dated since I ended the engagement. I can’t find happiness because deep down I talk to someone and I just feel like I’m not good enough. No matter what I’ll do I won’t ever be good enough. Not even for my friends because it was friend he was sleeping with.
But my ex? He’s over here engaged to the girl who went after him knowing we were dating and called herself my friend. He’s engaged to her now and I don’t get it. It’s not fucking fair. How is it that he gets to be happy and engaged and I just get nothing but trust issues, self hate, and low self esteem. I just don’t understand and I’m just defeated mentally.
submitted by throwRA_91737 to heartbreak [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 02:07 Friendly_Jackal [WTS] Plenty of 90% along with some World Silver

Proof
Hey all, I have some shiny stuff for your consideration today. I usually try to do better with individual pics, but the kids are sick so I didn’t have time. If you want better pics of anything, just ask! No minimum on quantity. Shipping is a flat $5 and I take Zelle, Cashapp, and Venmo, no notes please. Thanks for looking!
US 90%
SLABS
MINT SETS
WORLD SILVER
AUSTRALIA
AUSTRIA
BELGIUM
CANADA
CAYMAN ISLANDS
FRANCE
GERMANY
GREAT BRITAIN
INDIA
NETHERLANDS
NEW ZEALAND
POLAND
RUSSIA
SOUTH AFRICA
SWEDEN
submitted by Friendly_Jackal to Pmsforsale [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 02:05 Obvious-Break-6020 Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

A little background me (33 M) her (30 F). We have been together for 9 years and have 2 kids together (7 & 2). We are currently engaged have been for almost 2 years. We don’t have the money for the wedding we always wanted to and don’t care to rush into a wedding since we considered ourselves married.
We recently got into a a big fight that is pretty much a recurring argument whenever we get into a fight usually ever 4-6 months. We never ever figure out anything in this argument, we never see eye to eye on things and we disagree with each others stance. Basically it comes down to I need a physical relationship. I need to be touched and loved on. She has a past history that she was sexually abused by her step dad when she younger and she does not enjoy physical touch or having sex. I completely understand her history and have tried to be patient with her. Done countless things to try and get her into the mood. Date nights, surprise gifts/flowers, talking and listening to her day (SAHM), cooking ( I cook most days), cleaning, taking the kids out for the day to give her a break. Romantic bedroom with candles and flower pedals but nothing I do seems to work. Even suggested her take viagra for women to try and get in the mood but refuses to try it. othing. Before she had our first she would drink and we would have sex all the time but know she can’t drink due to medical reasons. So we have had sex 2 times in a year. She won’t do other things hj’s bj’s let me touch her or anything. She says that’s all I care about but I need physical touch and to be wanted. Let me know your thoughts if it’s time to leave. Last fight we both agreed we are unhappy in this relationship but love our family but feel like roommates at this time and have been the last year.
submitted by Obvious-Break-6020 to SingleDads [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 02:03 throwRA_91737 How can you cheat and still be happy?

I just don’t get it. I did everything. He literally was filling out green card papers with me while actively cheating on me. He was telling me our wedding would be beautiful while cheating on me. He planned our flights out with me while cheating on me. He said he loved me and all he wanted was me, while he cheated on me.
It’s been 2 years and I just don’t get it. I’m over here traumatized and never dated since I ended the engagement. I can’t find happiness because deep down I talk to someone and I just feel like I’m not good enough. No matter what I’ll do I won’t ever be good enough. Not even for my friends because it was friend he was sleeping with.
But my ex? He’s over here engaged to the girl who went after him knowing we were dating and called herself my friend. He’s engaged to her now and I don’t get it. It’s not fucking fair. How is it that he gets to be happy and engaged and I just get nothing but trust issues, self hate, and low self esteem. I just don’t understand and I’m just defeated mentally.
submitted by throwRA_91737 to Vent [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 01:42 LessSatisfaction3718 Did I [24F] self sabotage after a hookup or did I make the right choice to ''friendzone" my childhood friend [25M] after?

So I've known my male friend since around high school. Things never really worked in high school but we both had huge crushes on each other but never reciprocated it correctly (from both of our own admissions). We get to college and we went to separate schools and became somewhat distant but were still close friends as we'd both come home a lot and we'd still hang out. Most of the time we just hung out as friends and enjoyed each others company, a few times we got intimate but never to the point of sex. His senior year of college he had a girlfriend and we got more distant out of respect for the relationship. They broke up shortly after he graduated. After their breakup we got intimate one more time but we had an intimate talk about progressing to sex and how it was a big step for both of us, so we decided to not go that far with things.
In present day, we were still friends but our communication became a lot more distant. I admit I had feelings for him in this year and still do now. I just really admire the person he is and I would love to be with him. We still maintained communication and always checked in on each other but never spent much time physically together due to time consuming careers, especially since my job requires me to travel a lot.
I am a lot more settled and stationary with my job now and we ended up hanging out at each others place about a week ago. Everything felt comfortable and like old times and eventually we ended up having sex, multiple times... It was really good and we had great chemistry. I stayed over at his house and we cuddled and ended up having sex again in the morning. But instantly after I went home I began to second guess everything and regret the sex.. We texted that same morning and he mentioned how he wanted me to come over again that night, but he ended up going ghost that night, so I feel like this really triggered me.... The sex just seemed to happen so fast too... like we were both turned on and I really enjoyed it but his energy just seemed much more different than the last time we were intimate. I guess it made me feel distrustful of him as well.
I used to be a lot more open with sexual things and did so more freely. After lots of experiences where I was used for sex and led on to believe things would be more but didn't, the act of sex now always fills me with regret, dread and anxiety and I always think of how I should've waited. I have kind of shut myself off to dating and sex in general for a bit over a year as I just couldn't deal with all of the ups and downs.
So in the morning i felt really horrible about the whole thing, and in my head I figured he just wants me as a hookup... Especially since prior to we said we both get attached to sex but it didn't seem like he was any different..
So I called him and told him that I think we should just be friends.. I basically told him that I didn't want to ruin our friendship by being just about hooking up with each other. He simply responded Okay and we hung up and haven't spoke since which is weird because we are generally close even prior to this..
Did I make the right call? Was this likely going to just result in a hookup situation? I feel like if it wasn't he would've said something, especially since I made sure to say the reason for this decision was because I hadn't had sex in so long and didnt want things to become just about sex with us... And guys will usually say that a guy will make it known if he wants to be with a girl. and there will be no confusion... I would love to be with him but I cant be that same girl I was pining over a guy that tells me "sweet nothings" just to keep me around which has happened pretty much every time before... I should also mention I have never been in a fully committed relationship... just talking stages and situationships so I dont know if Im going about this all wrong.
Tl;Dr: Childhood close friends and I hooked up with each other. I told him I just want to keep things platonic because Im not looking for a hookup. I am wondering if I made the wrong decision or self sabotaged...
submitted by LessSatisfaction3718 to relationships [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 01:41 Any_Parking6036 Thoughts on due date?

Now that Kyra has announced she is pregnant, what are your guesses for due date? If I remember correctly, kyra said in the wedding dress shopping video that she had just started her period and that was filmed around thanksgiving. That was the last time she publicly acknowledged her period. So that means the due date at the earliest would be at the end of August.
submitted by Any_Parking6036 to KyraReneeSivertson [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 01:36 IndependenceSalty83 I’m (23F) scared to end things after 6yrs with my BF (25M)

TLDR: Im scared to make the jump of ending things. I love him but I don’t think I’m in love with him anymore. Im scared it’s the wrong decision. Im scared to start over. Im worried financially. Im worried about our pets.
If you can do math I’m sure you can see that my boyfriend and I started dating pretty young, if anything I’d say he is my first love. I thought he was my true love. Backstory: We moved in together after about 7mo of dating (with roommates) then a few months later just the two of us. Things were great, we were working on our careers and got two dogs. It felt like we had a little family and happy life. Fast forward three years: we go on a trip with his family. His dad flips his shit on us about finances in an airport but is primarily yelling at me because my partner was being submissive and not questioning or trying to discuss this with his dad. His dad also brought our relationship into his yelling, saying things like I don’t make my BF happy, he doesn’t support our relationship. It was really shocking and “random” for me to see this display. It honestly sent me into a depression to be broken down like that publicly, with no warning, by my boyfriend’s dad and him not even sticking up for me or our relationship. My bf telling me the entire trip home and at home that that’s how his dad is, that he’s sorry, and he doesn’t know why his dad said those things. That he’s happy with me. Three months later I catch him texting other girls talking about meeting up. I already had a girls trip planned coming up and told him I needed time to sort through all of this given that I feel like I was dealt blow after blow. I came back from the trip and we talked about it more, I asked numerous times if there’s something I’m not doing right or if I do truly make him unhappy. He denies, says that he doesn’t know why he reached out to other women and that it was a stupid mistake that will never happen again. Of course for awhile I was on edge and wary but I loved him and wanted to make this work. A few more months later I was trying to find a tattoo artist he follows and showed me on instagram. But instead I found him following a lot of explicit female pages. I told him that this made me uncomfortable especially given our recent issues and set a boundary to not continue following/looking at these women. For the past year I feel as though things have been good and my trust is back for him. Here’s the but: 1) I don’t feel like I enjoy his conversation anymore or it’s gotten less. I feel like I have to initiate every conversation, find things to talk about. 2) I feel like I almost have to mom him or be his parent. Having to help him file his taxes, figure out his car insurance, his doctors appointments, cleaning etc. 3) He’s not romantic. We’ve had numerous conversations about how I want to surprise occasionally, I want him to do something romantic for me. I’ve quite literally almost begged him to. He always says he’ll try harder and he’s sorry. I know everyone has different love languages giving and receiving but I feel as though we’ve both communicated ours and it’s feeling one sided. Some anniversaries or valentines we took it easy and just did a cute dinner together. Some I planned trips for us. One year I did a surprise beach trip. For our 5yr anniversary I did a spa resort since neither of us had gone and well it’s our big 5 year anniversary! I don’t want to degrade him and say he’s never done anything for me but I just don’t feel like we’re on the same level. We just got back from a week long trip to the PNW we’ve been wanting to do for years. He didn’t put any effort into planning so I made the entire itinerary including finding where to eat at during the trip. I feel like this trip really snapped for me. Our 6yr anniversary is next month and I almost want to just not bother and see what he does, if anything. I know I shouldn’t expect things but I thought he was going to propose during our 5yr anniversary because he occasionally would ask what kind of wedding rings I liked. When he didn’t, I thought maybe he was waiting for a romantic trip like the PNW since we always talk about where we would and wouldn’t want to be proposed at. He didn’t. I know it sound silly to expect a ring when I’m sitting here questioning staying with him. Because I’m usually a logically person and clearly a planner and mentally made a pros and cons list.. and the reasons I kept coming back to for not leaving him is 1) we have long history together 2) I love him and I don’t want to hurt him 3) the stress of having to decide moving out and furniture 4) we have two dogs together 5) financially 6) I’m scared to start over.
submitted by IndependenceSalty83 to relationships_advice [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 01:33 Vathy 35 [M4F] NYC/US - Still searching for my talkative soul to connect with in person with a long term relationship

hi! After once again (unfortunately, never ending quest I guess) being plagued by the logistics and difference in family desires (please be mindful of my desire before reaching out) not matching or people not knowing what they want once again, I'm here (again) because I've been here trying to search for someone to vibe with and explore the possibility of a long term relationship for a good bit now because its been difficult to find someone that reaches out that correctly believes we both match in terms of what we'd both like long term (a relationship and family) or distance has been an logistic we haven't been able to break through in the big picture.
If you think we'd click and we do in fact want similar things in the same location together long term, I'd love for you to reach out if you feel that way by the end of reading through!
Unfortunately, since I have to actually add this, please read my entire post if you're interested before reaching out. I cannot take another person reaching out that does not read everything and finds something they do not want to do (such as relocating), it wastes both of our time and nobody wins. This is far too common on here, and it's extremely confusing.
Anyways, like everyone else on the internet, I'm a 6'1 hispanic dude (pictured here: https://imgur.com/IIy7Hqe - hi, hello!) that's doing pretty good in life! I have an awesome wfh job in a field I enjoy (and had to switch into, heh) that's got things all neatly organized in a little row (home I get to enjoy in the greatest city in the world, nerdy interests and all I need within a walk of where I live), but I'm just missing that one awesome partner I vibe with to share it with!
I turn to here because I've had amazing success in the past, but for logistical reasons (or differences in vision), the lovely people I've experienced romantic relationships with on here ended through nothing other than dating is hard, especially when distance is involved (as it was in all 3 instances). I'm sure everyone can relate to that! I'd love to find someone I can click with, that has an equal attraction to me, that has time to talk to me (voice/video preferred, but happy to type away plenty, we do have lives after all) like we care about each other's time :)
I'll share a bit about myself!
I love all the nerdy stuff like board/video games, on a bit of a nostalgia streak with games I've been totally watching lately and would love to find a game to start brand new with someone (as world of warcraft is nice, but not something I'd recommend to someone new to mmo's!)
I have oddball interests such as a love for asmr videos that focus on roleplay to create that sensation and I'd love to share that with you (and my love for giving massages because of it)
I have been trying to teach myself how to be response with what I have so things last longer, and I'd love to learn from someone just as much as I have a lot to give to you in terms of experience!
I just enjoy talking a lot. I can be very caring, so its important for me to make sure you're doing okay in times like today, so I'll be there for you!
I'm looking for someone who:
Wants a long term, monogamous relationship. I do poorly with sharing, simple as that.
is open to relocation if not in NYC. I can't take my home with me, would love to share my extra space and rooms with you!
Actually has time to spend to get to know someone. I know dating sucks, but I can't wrap my head around how common it is that people think a relationship can develop if you're just never there to get to know. My brain can't wrap that around my head, and I want to find someone who actually wants to be serious about this.
Is open to a biological family one day. I grew up in a loving household, and I want to continue to create that in my future with someone amazing!
If you think we'd click, give me a reach! I feel like the last year has gone so slow because of my search, and I would love more than anything to find someone to get us both out of the adventures that is OLD.
I'm hoping to hear from you soon, tell me something you're proud of so we can talk all about it!
submitted by Vathy to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 01:32 IndependenceSalty83 I’m (23F) scared to end things after 6yrs with my BF (25M)

TLDR: Im scared to make the jump of ending things. I love him but I don’t think I’m in love with him anymore. Im scared it’s the wrong decision. Im scared to start over. Im worried financially. Im worried about our pets.
If you can do math I’m sure you can see that my boyfriend and I started dating pretty young, if anything I’d say he is my first love. I thought he was my true love. Backstory: We moved in together after about 7mo of dating (with roommates) then a few months later just the two of us. Things were great, we were working on our careers and got two dogs. It felt like we had a little family and happy life. Fast forward three years: we go on a trip with his family. His dad flips his shit on us about finances in an airport but is primarily yelling at me because my partner was being submissive and not questioning or trying to discuss this with his dad. His dad also brought our relationship into his yelling, saying things like I don’t make my BF happy, he doesn’t support our relationship. It was really shocking and “random” for me to see this display. It honestly sent me into a depression to be broken down like that publicly, with no warning, by my boyfriend’s dad and him not even sticking up for me or our relationship. My bf telling me the entire trip home and at home that that’s how his dad is, that he’s sorry, and he doesn’t know why his dad said those things. That he’s happy with me. Three months later I catch him texting other girls talking about meeting up. I already had a girls trip planned coming up and told him I needed time to sort through all of this given that I feel like I was dealt blow after blow. I came back from the trip and we talked about it more, I asked numerous times if there’s something I’m not doing right or if I do truly make him unhappy. He denies, says that he doesn’t know why he reached out to other women and that it was a stupid mistake that will never happen again. Of course for awhile I was on edge and wary but I loved him and wanted to make this work. A few more months later I was trying to find a tattoo artist he follows and showed me on instagram. But instead I found him following a lot of explicit female pages. I told him that this made me uncomfortable especially given our recent issues and set a boundary to not continue following/looking at these women. For the past year I feel as though things have been good and my trust is back for him. Here’s the but: 1) I don’t feel like I enjoy his conversation anymore or it’s gotten less. I feel like I have to initiate every conversation, find things to talk about. 2) I feel like I almost have to mom him or be his parent. Having to help him file his taxes, figure out his car insurance, his doctors appointments, cleaning etc. 3) He’s not romantic. We’ve had numerous conversations about how I want to surprise occasionally, I want him to do something romantic for me. I’ve quite literally almost begged him to. He always says he’ll try harder and he’s sorry. I know everyone has different love languages giving and receiving but I feel as though we’ve both communicated ours and it’s feeling one sided. Some anniversaries or valentines we took it easy and just did a cute dinner together. Some I planned trips for us. One year I did a surprise beach trip. For our 5yr anniversary I did a spa resort since neither of us had gone and well it’s our big 5 year anniversary! I don’t want to degrade him and say he’s never done anything for me but I just don’t feel like we’re on the same level. We just got back from a week long trip to the PNW we’ve been wanting to do for years. He didn’t put any effort into planning so I made the entire itinerary including finding where to eat at during the trip. I feel like this trip really snapped for me. Our 6yr anniversary is next month and I almost want to just not bother and see what he does, if anything. I know I shouldn’t expect things but I thought he was going to propose during our 5yr anniversary because he occasionally would ask what kind of wedding rings I liked. When he didn’t, I thought maybe he was waiting for a romantic trip like the PNW since we always talk about where we would and wouldn’t want to be proposed at. He didn’t. I know it sound silly to expect a ring when I’m sitting here questioning staying with him. Because I’m usually a logically person and clearly a planner and mentally made a pros and cons list.. and the reasons I kept coming back to for not leaving him is 1) we have long history together 2) I love him and I don’t want to hurt him 3) the stress of having to decide moving out and furniture 4) we have two dogs together 5) financially 6) I’m scared to start over.
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2024.05.15 01:32 LessSatisfaction3718 Did I self sabotage after a hookup or did I make the right choice to stay friends with my childhood friend?

Hello, I am a frequent viewer of this subreddit and I am having an issue that I am second guessing. So I've known my male friend since around high school. Things never really worked in high school but we both had huge crushes on each other but never reciprocated it correctly (from both of our own admissions). We get to college and we went to separate schools and became somewhat distant but were still close friends as we'd both come home a lot and we'd still hang out. Most of the time we just hung out as friends and enjoyed each others company, a few times we got intimate but never to the point of sex. His senior year of college he had a girlfriend and we got more distant out of respect for the relationship. They broke up shortly after he graduated. After their breakup we got intimate one more time but we had an intimate talk about progressing to sex and how it was a big step for both of us, so we decided to not go that far with things.
In present day, we were still friends but our communication became a lot more distant. I admit I had feelings for him in this year and still do now. I just really admire the person he is and I would love to be with him. We still maintained communication and always checked in on each other but never spent much time physically together due to time consuming careers, especially since my job requires me to travel a lot.
I am a lot more settled and stationary with my job now and we ended up hanging out at each others place about a week ago. Everything felt comfortable and like old times and eventually we ended up having sex, multiple times... It was really good and we had great chemistry. I stayed over at his house and we cuddled and ended up having sex again in the morning. But instantly after I went home I began to second guess everything and regret the sex.. We texted that same morning and he mentioned how he wanted me to come over again that night, but he ended up going ghost that night, so I feel like this really triggered me.... The sex just seemed to happen so fast too... like we were both turned on and I really enjoyed it but his energy just seemed much more different than the last time we were intimate. I guess it made me feel distrustful of him as well.
I used to be a lot more open with sexual things and did so more freely. After lots of experiences where I was used for sex and led on to believe things would be more but didn't, the act of sex now always fills me with regret, dread and anxiety and I always think of how I should've waited. I have kind of shut myself off to dating and sex in general for a bit over a year as I just couldn't deal with all of the ups and downs.
So in the morning i felt really horrible about the whole thing, and in my head I figured he just wants me as a hookup... Especially since prior to we said we both get attached to sex but it didn't seem like he was any different..
So I called him and told him that I think we should just be friends.. I basically told him that I didn't want to ruin our friendship by being just about hooking up with each other. He simply responded Okay and we hung up and haven't spoke since which is weird because we are generally close even prior to this..
Did I make the right call? Was this likely going to just result in a hookup situation? I feel like if it wasn't he would've said something, especially since I made sure to say the reason for this decision was because I hadn't had sex in so long and didnt want things to become just about sex with us... And guys will usually say that a guy will make it known if he wants to be with a girl. and there will be no confusion... I would love to be with him but I cant be that same girl I was pining over a guy that tells me "sweet nothings" just to keep me around which has happened pretty much every time before... I should also mention I have never been in a fully committed relationship... just talking stages and situationships so I dont know if Im going about this all wrong.
Tl;Dr: Childhood close friends and I hooked up with each other. I told him I just want to keep things platonic because Im not looking for a hookup. I am wondering if I made the wrong decision or self sabotaged...
submitted by LessSatisfaction3718 to Advice [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 01:29 IndependenceSalty83 I’m (23F) scared to end things after 6yrs with my BF (25M)

TLDR: Im scared to make the jump of ending things. I love him but I don’t think I’m in love with him anymore. Im scared it’s the wrong decision. Im scared to start over. Im worried financially. Im worried about our pets.
If you can do math I’m sure you can see that my boyfriend and I started dating pretty young, if anything I’d say he is my first love. I thought he was my true love. Backstory: We moved in together after about 7mo of dating (with roommates) then a few months later just the two of us. Things were great, we were working on our careers and got two dogs. It felt like we had a little family and happy life. Fast forward three years: we go on a trip with his family. His dad flips his shit on us about finances in an airport but is primarily yelling at me because my partner was being submissive and not questioning or trying to discuss this with his dad. His dad also brought our relationship into his yelling, saying things like I don’t make my BF happy, he doesn’t support our relationship. It was really shocking and “random” for me to see this display. It honestly sent me into a depression to be broken down like that publicly, with no warning, by my boyfriend’s dad and him not even sticking up for me or our relationship. My bf telling me the entire trip home and at home that that’s how his dad is, that he’s sorry, and he doesn’t know why his dad said those things. That he’s happy with me. Three months later I catch him texting other girls talking about meeting up. I already had a girls trip planned coming up and told him I needed time to sort through all of this given that I feel like I was dealt blow after blow. I came back from the trip and we talked about it more, I asked numerous times if there’s something I’m not doing right or if I do truly make him unhappy. He denies, says that he doesn’t know why he reached out to other women and that it was a stupid mistake that will never happen again. Of course for awhile I was on edge and wary but I loved him and wanted to make this work. A few more months later I was trying to find a tattoo artist he follows and showed me on instagram. But instead I found him following a lot of explicit female pages. I told him that this made me uncomfortable especially given our recent issues and set a boundary to not continue following/looking at these women. For the past year I feel as though things have been good and my trust is back for him. Here’s the but: 1) I don’t feel like I enjoy his conversation anymore or it’s gotten less. I feel like I have to initiate every conversation, find things to talk about. 2) I feel like I almost have to mom him or be his parent. Having to help him file his taxes, figure out his car insurance, his doctors appointments, cleaning etc. 3) He’s not romantic. We’ve had numerous conversations about how I want to surprise occasionally, I want him to do something romantic for me. I’ve quite literally almost begged him to. He always says he’ll try harder and he’s sorry. I know everyone has different love languages giving and receiving but I feel as though we’ve both communicated ours and it’s feeling one sided. Some anniversaries or valentines we took it easy and just did a cute dinner together. Some I planned trips for us. One year I did a surprise beach trip. For our 5yr anniversary I did a spa resort since neither of us had gone and well it’s our big 5 year anniversary! I don’t want to degrade him and say he’s never done anything for me but I just don’t feel like we’re on the same level. We just got back from a week long trip to the PNW we’ve been wanting to do for years. He didn’t put any effort into planning so I made the entire itinerary including finding where to eat at during the trip. I feel like this trip really snapped for me. Our 6yr anniversary is next month and I almost want to just not bother and see what he does, if anything. I know I shouldn’t expect things but I thought he was going to propose during our 5yr anniversary because he occasionally would ask what kind of wedding rings I liked. When he didn’t, I thought maybe he was waiting for a romantic trip like the PNW since we always talk about where we would and wouldn’t want to be proposed at. He didn’t. I know it sound silly to expect a ring when I’m sitting here questioning staying with him. Because I’m usually a logically person and clearly a planner and mentally made a pros and cons list.. and the reasons I kept coming back to for not leaving him is 1) we have long history together 2) I love him and I don’t want to hurt him 3) the stress of having to decide moving out and furniture 4) we have two dogs together 5) financially 6) I’m scared to start over.
submitted by IndependenceSalty83 to offmychest [link] [comments]

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