With Dawntrail’s launch coming up soon I have been working on my to do list and wanted to share/see what everyone else has going on. I know players tend to fall into two categories - ones that peace out in the pre-expansion downtime and others that play and prepare up to the last day, so this is more aimed at the latter XD. I kinda sort my to do list into things I want to get done before the new content arrives and prep for the new expansion.
​
Current Content to-do

• Run trials/duties for the last three Triple Triad cards I’m missing.
• Level up Desynth with any dungeon/currency gear. I can probably get most to 650, the rest can wait until Dawntrail.
• Clear the last two Extreme trials and maybe get the mounts for the last 4 that I don’t have yet (unlikely to get all of them before expansion but there is hope)
• Clear Eureka Orthos and exchange grips for one weapon for achievement.
• Clear Another Mount Rokkon (my group is really close)
• Run normal Mount Rokkon and try to get a Shiromaru minion
• Win a Hades minion from Silver spin in Ophio maps ^{(laughs in insanity})
• Complete all the Manderville Relic weapons (almost there)
• Catch the last two Big Fish (bloody Durdina and Sideral Whale)

Preparation for Dawntrail

• Create and resort gearsets for new jobs (I like having them in the “right” order)
• Buy lvl 80 gear for PIC and VIP – PIC will share some gear i already have with BLU. I know you get a chest of gear for new jobs so technically only need accessories, but right now I have nothing else to spend Poetics on.
• Update gearsets for current jobs with highest gear possible – either comedy/upgraded comedy or Alliance raid for 650/660 ilvl.
• Sell or Desynth unneeded gear to clear armory chest for Dawntrail.
• Tidy up Glamour Dresser.
• Tidy up chocobo Saddlebag
• Clear out one retainer ready for new crafting materials and sell off older materials I don’t have a use for.
• Farm 60/60 aetherpool in POTD so I can exchange 6 grips to get the deep dungeon weapon achievements for PIC and VIP
• Get FC to buy some EXP bonus actions.
• Stock up on consumables like food for exp, Cordials, Squadron exp manuals.
• Stock up on shards and crystals for leveling crafting.
• Stock up on my favourite dye colours.
• Stock up on various tokens like Ventures, Aetheryte tickets.
• Cap various currencies like Scrips, GC, Bicolours, Faux leaves just in case new stuff gets added
• Hold onto the last Faux book before expansion to redeem after patch for EXP
• Put the Aetherial Compass back on my hotbar.
• Turn off Shout and Yell and some linkshell chat modes so I don’t accidentally get spoiled on stuff.
• Visit house cause I’m paranoid about auto-demolition.
• Pick where I want to log out in
• And most importantly – Select my “Heading into Dawntrail” glamour.

Would love some feedback! PDF URL: https://red-giustina-27.tiiny.site/

Icon Information

• Main Story Quests (MSQ) - These are the important quests that will unlock content. Stay up to date on these.
• Side Quests - Side quests are optional and can be one way to gain more exp or extra rewards.
• Leve Quests - Daily limited amount of repeatable quests for extra exp and rewards. Good to save for leveling other jobs.
• Guildhests - Easy instanced quests kinda like a mini-dungeon that teaches basic group mechanics for dungeons.
• Hall of the Novice - A series of challenges designed to prep new players by undertaking several training exercises. Accessible after lvl 15 via Adventurers' Guilds.
• Content Unlock Quests - These unlock features in-game such as new dungeons, actions (gear dyes, mount flying, etc). Important to do (especially your job quests!)
• FATEs - Randomly spawned open-world mini-battles that give EXP (albeit very little) for beating them. 4
• Triple Triad - A card game in Eorzea, wherein players gather cards from all over to defeat opponents with custom decks
• Repeatable Quest - A side quest may at times be repeatable in order to gain rewards such as reputation for tribes.
• In-Progress Quest - Marker dictates the next step location for an active quest in your quest log.
• Red Icon (Any Quest Icon) - Indicates requirements to access the quest that have not yet been met, such as level, gear ilvl, or class.

In-Game Currency Information

• Gil - the money of FFXIV
• Allagan Tomestones of... - Rewarded from instances/roulettes and used to buy items and high-lvl gear. See Gear section
• Company Seals - Used at your allied Grand Company. Gained via quests/roulettes/fates/gear and item turn-ins
• Manderville Gold Saucer Points (MGP) - Gained from mini games inside the gold saucer zone and used in that zone
• Allied/Centurio Seals - Gained from monster hunts, specific beasts that spawn in the open world at particular times
• CrafteGatherer Scrips - High-level turn-ins (not covered in this guide)
• Tribe Currency - Obtained via daily repeatable quests after intro quests for each tribe have been completed.
• Wolf Marks - PvP currency. PvP access at lvl 30 via quests
• Ventures - Used for retainers (NPC maids essentially) to send on "venture" tasks, such as collection of items. Buy @ Grand Company w/company seals.

Terminology and some explanations to things you may see in-game

• MSQ - Refers to the Main Story Questline
• DoW/DoM - Disciple of WaDisciple of Magic; refers to the battle-capable classes/jobs
• DoH/DoL - Disciple of Hand/Disciple of Land; refers to the crafting and gathering classes
• HoT/DoT - Heal over Time/Damage over Time; refers to skills/spells that heal people or damage enemies over a duration of time
• FC - Free Company; essentially a guild. It is a community of players that can communicate together and benefit from FC buffs such as EXP gain, as well as sharing housing.
• LS - Linkshell; private chat channel for a group of people often used for specific interests like hunts, raid groups, or just socially
• DF - Duty Finder; system used to automatically create parties of players for a selected instance/duty
• PF - Party Finder; system used to recruit or join players for a party where you may list what you are making the party for
• LB - Limit Break; a powerful shared party ability that charges up and has effects depending on which class uses it. Tank: party-wide damage mitigation. Healer: party-wide heal (or full rez with 3 bars). Ranged: attack to all targets in a straight line. Casters: AoE damage skill. Melee: strong single-target damage skill. This is a shared resource and one person in a party uses it for all.
• GC - Grand Company; the 3 main military forces of Eorzea (Immortal Flames of Ul'dah, Maelstrom of Limsa, and Order of the Twin Adder of Gridania). You may join one of these and climb ranks after beating Ifrit in MSQ lvl 20.
• BiS - Best in Slot; denotes the single best gear piece for a specific job for each slot depending on its stats/benefits.
• LoS - Line of Sight; used to indicate a broken line of sight, for example, a player gets healed by being in a healer's line of sight
• MP - Mana Points; the resource used by some classes to use magical skills
• Enmity - The threat held by a player form an aggressive monster. Otherwise known as aggro/hate/threat
• Gear iLvl - Item Level; a stat on a piece of gear that denotes the approx. effectiveness of the item. It is NOT the required lvl to equip the gear. Noted in the Character menu right above the portrait
• GCD - Global Cooldown; multiple abilities that use a shared time of cooldown before reuse
• oGCD - Off-Global Cooldown; an ability which has its own cooldown timer and can be used between GCDs
• AoE - Area of Effect; abilities that do damage of inflict debuffs to multiple enemies, or a healing ability that affects multiple targets

Class/Job Information

Tanks

Starting Class	Advanced Job
(GLA) Gladiator	(PLD) Paladin
(MRD) Marauder	(WAR) Warrior

Jobs from expansions (no starting class):

• (Heavensward) Dark Knight (DRK)
• (Shadowbringers) Gunbreaker (GNB)

Healers

Starting Class	Advanced Job
(ACN) Arcanist	(SCH) Scholar
(CNJ) Conjurer	(WHM) White Mage

Jobs from expansions (no starting class):

• (Heavensward) Astrologian (AST)
• (Endwalker) Sage (SGE)

Melee DPS

Starting Class	Advanced Job
(PGL) Pugilist	(MNK) Monk
(LNC) Lancer	(DRG) Dragoon
(ROG) Rogue	(NIN) Ninja

Jobs from expansions (no starting class):

• (Stormblood) Samurai (SAM)
• (Endwalker) Reaper (RPR)

Ranged Physical DPS

Starting Class	Advanced Job
(ARC) Archer	(BRD) Bard

Jobs from expansions (no starting class):

• (Heavensward) Machinist (MCH)
• (Shadowbringers) Dancer (DNC)

Ranged Magical DPS

Starting Class	Advanced Job
(THM) Thaumaturge	(BLM) Black Mage
(ARC) Arcanist	(SMN) Summoner

Jobs from expansions (no starting class):

• (Stormblood) Red Mage (RDM)
• (Stormblood) Blue Mage (BLU) - Limited Job

After leveling a starting class to 30, you can get job stones that allow you to continue leveling on as the advanced job for that class. Please for the love of Hydaelyn do your job quests and get your job stones!! You are legit considered griefing if you go into 50+ content without a job stone or missing important abilities from not doing your job quests. Do us all a favor, and just do them.

Helpful Information To Make Life Easier

Getting your first mount! We gotta go fast!

Quest Name: My Little Chocobo Starting NPC: Depends on which GC you chose: * (Maelstrom) R'ashat Rhiki, Limsa Lominsa GC * (Twin Adder) Vorsaile Heuloix, New Gridania GC * (Immortal Flames) Swift, Ul'dah GC
Requirements: Lvl 20, complete MSQ "The Company You Keep", and have joined a Grand Company

In-Game Main Menu Icons

Look through all of these menus, they contain important info for you as a player!

Don't stress out picking a race/class!

Racial stats are minimal and won't have much of an effect. You can level ALL classes on the SAME character!

Obtain Your Retainer!

Requirements: Lvl 17, after MSQ "The Scions of the Seventh Dawn". Talk to Retainer Vocate near the Marketboard of a main city. With a retainer: you can sell items on the Marketboard, send on ventures (to make gil), and store items in their storage menu

Tips For Leveling and Accessing Content

The #1 priority is to progress through the Main Story Quest (MSQ) to unlock content such as dungeons, raids, endgame, and new areas. If you skip scenes, don't worry. You can watch nearly all of them in the Inns (located in each main city) any time.
Once you reach a MSQ you aren't high enough level to do, use other means to level in order to do more MSQ:

• Daily Roulettes (EXP bonuses for each, once a day)
• Level-appropriate side quests
• Challenge and Hunting Log (in the Logs menu)
• Deep Dungeons (Palace of the Dead, Heaven on High, Eureka Orthos)
• Level appropriate Levequests
• Fate grinding (probably not efficient)
• Spamming the highest non-capstone dungeon you can run
• Adventurer Squadrons (access at lvl 47 and after obtaining 2nd Lieutenant rank w/GC)

* Recommended to do your roulettes daily for big EXP. Otherwise, deep dungeons (especially for DPS jobs) and the highest-lvl non-capstone dungeon you can access
If you need help completing a dungeon/raid/primal fight, create your own Party Finder and put "bonus/1st time" in the description.
Other important things to do: complete Content Quests (Blue Quests marked by a !). These unlock other content such as more dungeons, actions like glamouring and dying equipment, mount flying, unlocking other jobs, etc.
Again, be sure to complete your class/job quests as they become available for new abilities! These are very important, and it cannot be understated how beneficial it is to unlock these!!

As you adventure, use the bonuses available to you to earn extra EXP using these options:

• Always have food active for the 3% EXP increase!
• Log off in the main cities/sanctuaries for Rested EXP, obtained over time as you are offline. You'll know you're in a sanctuary if you see a crescent moon next to your EXP bar.
• Join an FC (even if you choose another one later) for the Heat of the Battle buff (5-15%+ EXP via battle)
• Obtain the Brand-New Ring from completing the Hall of the Novice training quests (30%+ EXP up to lvl 30)

Armory Bonus: You receive an additional 100% EXP while leveling any secondary class that is lower than your highest level class. At level 80, this decreases to 50%.
^{* Applies to MSQ, leves, kills, fates, deep dungeons, and dungeon completion}

Gearing Up: Armor

Important notes about gearing:
Replace your gear frequently, especially as you reach new leveling dungeons. The better your gear, the better you'll survive!
While gear is shared between different classes, you want to focus on YOUR class's primary stats.
TIP: Be careful what you buy from the marketboard! Many items listed can be bought much cheaper from NPC vendors.

Types of Gear from Lowest to Highest Quality

• White/Grey - crafted leveling gear, NPC vendors, beginning starter gear, quest rewards
• Pink, aka "aetherial" - substats are randomized, but total stats remain the same
• Green - non-lore advanced gear. Special crafted gear, dungeon drops, quest rewards
• Blue - lore-filled advanced gear. Job AF, primal, raid gear, and tomestone gear. Unlike green gear, usually either heavily tied to the content or has a specific maker it can be tied to
• Purple - highly significant gear. So far this is reserved solely for relic weapons and wedding rings. For relic weapons, the player can be able to adjust the stats on them to their liking.

High quality gear will have higher stats and noted by this icon
Color only dictates where the gear comes from. A general rule to follow is to pay attention to the higher ilvl first, then the substats

So, how do I gear up as I level?

You will obtain gear primarily during MSQ, dungeons, and vendors. TIP: To make some gil as you go, sell HQ gear you get from MSQ on the marketboard!
At lvl 50+, obtain *Allagan Tomestones of ... via dungeons, hunts, raids (8 man and alliance), primals, roulettes, etc. The #s refer to (Character Level, Gear iLvl) respectively.

• Ironworks (50, 130) @ NPC: Rowena's Representative in any ARR main city hub (Poetics)
• Shire (60, 270) @ NPC: Rowena's Representative in Ishgard (Poetics)
• Scaevan (70, 400) @ NPC: Rowena's Representative in Kugane (Poetics)
• Cryptlurker (80, 530) @ NPC: Mowen's Merchant in the Crystarium (Poetics)
• Lunar Envoy (90, 620) @ NPC: Cihanti in Radz-at-Han (Causality)
• Augmented Lunar Envoy (90, 630) @ NPC: Khaldeen in Radz-at-Han (Causality)
• Credendum (90, 650) @ NPC: Cihanti in Radz-at-Han (Comedy)
• Augmented Credendum (90, 660) @ NPC: Khaldeen in Radz-at-Han (Comedy)
  
• 24-man Alliance raids - decent catchup gear, equivalent to basic tomestone gear
  
• 8-man normal gear - normal mode drops decent gear until you obtain the tomestone set to upgrade over time or pursue Savage
  
• 8-man savage gear - "endgame", generally the best gear, however at the expense of completing the hardest current content
  

Gearing up: Weapons

• NPC Vendors: good to supplement weapon upgrades while leveling
• Crafted Weapons: viable option leveling and as an intermediate to the primal/tomestone/relic options
• Primal Weapons: obtained via certain Extreme trials
• Tomestone Weapons: base weapon acquired by tomestones and an item dropped in the 4th floor of each set of 8-man raids. Example: 660 weapon is tomestones + Hermetic Tomestone
• Relic Weapons: each expansion releases a powerful weapon with a long, demanding quest line. Looks cool, much strong.

Everything you can unlock, how to unlock, how to progress: https://ffxiv.consolegameswiki.com/wiki/Content_Unlock
THE BALANCE (Discord & Site) Job/Class Specific Guides:
https://thebalanceffxiv.com/ https://discordapp.gg/thebalanceffxiv
FFXIV WIKI:
https://ffxiv.consolegameswiki.com/wiki/FF14_Wiki
Active Info Database (things like crafting lists, equipment calculators, gathering timers, hunt windows): https://garlandtools.org/
^{Disclaimer: Information may be missing or become outdated as new content is released, as well as moving into Dawntrail. The information collected is to the best of my ability.
Although there are plenty of guides like this one, all of them are images, and are thus not indexable/searchable in search engines and cannot be updated. Putting this info in text form makes this easier to find in the future for sprouts and returners alike.}

Hey, everyone!
I posted an earlier draft of this script here and to ReadMyScript a little less than a week ago. I know that not much time has passed between postings, but I'm planning to shoot this next week and I still feel like something is missing from it. I've driven myself crazy tweaking certain scenes and bits of dialogue based on the feedback I received, and I don't really know what else to do.
I'd really appreciate any feedback people might have, and I'm more than happy to swap scrips that are similar in length to mine! Just leave a comment or DM me a link to your script and I'll get you feedback by tomorrow night.
Logline: When he arrives at his Airbnb, an apathetic man must endure his lonely host and a falsely-advertised location when all he wants to have is a fun night with his hometown friends.
Page Count: 16
Genre: Dry Comedy
Here's the link!
Thank you so much for your time.

Will Sasso,
Using all of the data I have absorbed from text messages, emails betwixt you and the astonishing friends you grew up with, I was able to recreate your childhood diary. You must now read the passages I have selected in the voice of Stone Cold Steve Austin.This is Stone Cold Steve Austin reads Will Sasso’s childhood diary. Begin
September, 1990
Dear Diary,
First day of football practice; got a good team. I'm still the best! I was the best in the 5th grade, I was the best in the 6th grade and I was the best in the 7th grade. I’m the best in the 8th grade. Wouldn't be surprised if I go pro; neither would anyone else. But besides me, we got some good fuckin’ guys. We got Odems Adam Cantrell. We got Proctor Richter Cambell. We got Hodges Bridges the H. Can't forget about your goddamn Wheeler Weaver Bates. We got motherfucking Perry Terry Pope, and Sutton Dutton Copeland. And Thank God Coach Vance seems to have his head on straight again. He’s a lot better since that fuckin’ accident.
October 25, 1990
Dear Diary,
Halloween’s right around the fucking corner. All Hallows Eve. Devil’s Night! I got invited to a bunch of fuckin’ parties. All the big ones! Renee Malone’s, Charlie Reynolds, Tabatha Mordrid’s, Dante Littleleg’s. Jibber Prevalia’s, fuckin Steven Trilobytes’. Hell I even got invited to fuckin’ Greg Kincaid’s Party! I’m either gonna go as Wayne Gretzke or fuckin’ ET! Pros of Gretzke: I get to wear a helmet/I get to hold a fuckin’ hockey stick all night/I get to make dinosaur noises/never have to go to the bathroom/can legally drive and buy beeimmune to vampires. Pros of ET: Aliens are hot right now/have a repeatable fuckin’ catchphrase/don’t need a costume/get a good nights sleep/run faster than a caimmune to vampires. Guess i got some fuckin’ thinkin to do!
November 1, 1990
Dear FUCKIN Diary,
Motherfuckin’ Jibber Prevalia put Dante Littleleg to shame this year. Littleleg was so humiliated, he might not even throw a Halloween party next year. I fuckin’ wouldn’t if I was him. I’d take some time to get my fuckin’ head on straight. Prevalia had live music, dancing, sodas, chips, scary movies, fake spiders on the toilet, Lizard hand on your head, Dracula following you home, nightmares, tired the next day, can’t do your work, get expelled, forget who you used to be, move to a new fuckin’ city, fake name, new job, new family, start over, no ones the wiser, shelter the kids from the idea of Halloween, once they got to grade school their friends tell them anyway, they wanna go trick or treating, try to discourage them, lose the fight, first house you go to has a fuckin’ Dracula.
November 22, 1990
Dear Diary,
Tenya Shubert asked me to the fall social today. I asked her why. She said she liked how funny I was. Now i gotta be honest here for a second. I am really funny. Like REAAALY REALLLY funny. I’m definitely the funniest kid at Delta Secondary School; teachers included. So it made a lot of sense to me why Tanya Shubert, the most popular 8th grader in school would be asking me to the fall social. I get it Tanya. I really do. The fuckin’ problem is (and I told her this). The fuckin’ problem is I can’t go to the fuckin dance. And if you took even a second to see past the fact that i’m the funniest guy in Ladner, you would’ve realized that there’s more to me than just making you laugh. I have other interests and Thursday night I’ll be home watching Survivor Series. No I will not fuckin’ go to the fall social with you Tanya. Get your fuckin’ head on straight.
December 10, 1990
Dear Diary,
You know I ain't much for poetry, but something changed in me after this last Survivor Series. And that change was due to one man. The only way I can express what i’m feelin’ because of that man is in a poem. So here it goes.
Undertaker take me over
Graveyard sky and headstone clover
6 foot 10 at 320 pounds
A giant hat/great skills on the mat
You make these other guys look like clowns
Undertaker take me over Paul Bearer is your promoter
Tombstone, Hell’s Gate, Snake Eyes, Last Ride
From Death Valley. Don’t meet you in an Alley
When I saw your first match, I fuckin’ cried
Undertaker take me over
You’re really hot, full disclosure
You make quick work of Cocoa Beware
Never broke a smile, impeccable style
I would love to see you destroy Ric Flair
Undertaker take me over
Dick so hard I lost composure
Undertaker take me over
Dick so hard I lost composure
Undertaker take me over
Dick so hard I lost composure
August 13, 1987
Dear Diary,
I went to Gino Dolphin’s birthday party this weekend. We’re not really that fuckin’ close, but he was up trying to pack in the numbers to get his present count up. Fuckin worked! I got him Castlevania. Cam Collins got him Zelda II. Fuckin’ Ron Rinaldi got him fuckin’ Contra! Tammy Timmis got him Punchout. Ralio McMurdy got him Mega Man. Dimothy Bubble got him fuckin’ Double Dragon. Amanda Le Targais got him Metal Gear. Shandy Pendagrast got him fuckin’ Street Fighter. Goddamn fuckin’ Rachel Crustacean got him Shinobi. And fuckin’ you know the goddamn motherfuckin’ Jibber Prevalia got him Tecmo Bowl. I’ll do the same fuckin’ thing for my birthday party next year. Problem is, Rachel Crustacean rubs me the wrong fuckin’ way.
September 8, 1987
Dear Diary,
My little brothers pissed in the bed again last night. At least that’s what I told my fuckin’ Mom and Dad, but it was really me. I snuck into their room and sprayed them down while they were asleep. Piss blaming never gets old. Nothing gets my engine going like the looks on my brother's faces when my Mom tells them they don’t get fruit roll-ups in their lunches for punishment for pissin’ the bed. I love piss blamin’. I’m a fuckin’ piss blamer. That’s just who I am. So my wife will have to be ok with me piss blamin’ her every once in a while. She’ll know she didn’t piss the bed, obviously. She’ll know it was me, and I’m just piss blamin’. She’s gonna have to pretend.
September 17, 1987
Dear Diary,
My youngest brother Cornelius came into my bedroom last night crying. Said he had a bad fuckin’ dream and asked to sleep in bed with me. So I asked him what it was about. I was like “Corn, what was that fuckin’ dream about, buddy?” And he said Freddy Krueger was trying to get him. Now I saw Nightmare on Elm Street I fuckin’ get it. Krueger is pretty fuckin’ scary, so I let him sleep with me. Then I pissed my own fuckin’ bed and I blamed it on him the next morning! I’m a piss blamer! OOOH HELL YEA! He should’ve known better.
September 23, 1987
Dear Diary,
Piss blaming is harder to fuckin’ do at school. Believe me I’ve tried, but you gotta find a perfect place to piss so that you know a teacher will find it, and then you gotta have another person there so you can blame them. And you still gotta be there to do the blamin’ without getting caught. It’s just not practical. So I fuckin’ mixed it up today. Did my first shit blame. And let me tell ya. I loved it. I was in the library. Took a copy of Tale of Two Cities off the shelf, opened that motherfuckin’ first page, dropped a perfectly tapered double twister right across it. It was the best of times for me, and it was the worst of times for Rachel Crustacean, because i successfully convinced the librarian that she was the fuckin’ culprit. I still love piss blamin’ don’t get me wrong, but i don’t know if I can be satisfied with piss blamin’ by itself anymore. High class problems I guess.
November 12, 1987
Dear FUCKIN Diary,
Went to my first fuckin’ concert. BC Play Stadium. Fuckin’ U fuckin’ 2. Loved the fuckin’ show. Bono rocked the fuckin’ house as expected. Played all the hits. Should’ve been a normal fuckin’ concert, but for me, it was more. The only way I can express my feelings about it is in a poem, but not just any fuckin’ poem! I’ve been gettin’ into slam poetry. This poem is a spoken word tribute to my first concert.
Bono Bono Bono Bono Bono
Is this God’s country, or is it yours
This Sunday is anything but bloody
And I think I might’ve found what i’m looking for
Bono Bono Bono Bono Bono
These streets do have a name
Your fire is unforgettable
Tonight, I will take piss and my brothers will take the blame
Bono Bono Bono Bono Bono
Your blue eyes bullet my blue sky
I will follow you trippin’ through wires
When you’re runnin’ to stand still, you make me cry….Literally
That’s right I cried at the fuckin’ concert. I’m sure it was just a one time thing. Just being excited for my first concert. It has nothin’ to fuckin’ do with U2 or Bono. I’ll never cry at another concert as long as I fuckin’ live. WHAT? I said as long as I fuckin’ live. Definitely not a fuckin’ U2 concert.
May 20, 1990
Dear Diary,
Something’s been building up in me for a few weeks now, and it’s gotten to the point I can feel it all over my body. Even when I'm sleeping I can tell; Summer’s Comin’, and you know what that means. The Prevalia Family and the Littleleg Family are about to start waging a 3 month war to throw the best party of the season. Just gotta get through a few more final exams, then it’s party time. I got Geometry, Geography, Cosmography, Cosmology, Typography, Topography. Can’t forget your fuckin’ dinosaurs, conquestadors, Singapore, Sycamore, slide rule, tide pool, tadpole, butthole. I’m gonna fuckin’ ace them all.
June 2, 1990
Dear Diary,
I got a big fuckin’ problem! Rachel Crustacean is gonna be at the Littleleg’s Summer Kickoff Pool Party. We sit next to each other in Geoblogy class. She passed me a note the other day. “Do you like Milli Vanilli? Yes or No”. I don’t fuckin’ like Milli Vanilli, but I fuckin’ circled “Yes”. She used to rub me the wrong way, but now I want her to like me, which makes things complicated. Because we still have a past that can’t be erased; and it’s a past she doesn’t even know exists. When I was young I was obsessed with takin’ pisses and shits and blamin’ other people. Now I’m not that guy anymore, but I gotta take that secret to the grave. My victims are gonna wonder for the rest of their natural lives about the mystery of pisses and shits they were blamed for. Rachel Crustacean took the fall for at least four shits and I don’t even know how many pisses. I’ve changed. But for a time in my life, I was a fuckin’ prolific piss blamer, and that’s something that only me and the Grim Reaper are ever gonna know.
June 3, 1990
Dear Diary,
The Littlelegs have done it again; they raised the fuckin’ bar! Waterslide. Hot dogs. Basketball. Tire swing. Pizza. Football. Trampoline. Rotisserie chicken and fuckin’ Super Nintendo. I don’t know what the Prevalia’s are gonna do; I honestly don’t know if there’s anything they CAN do after last night. Hell, by 10:30 Jibber’s mom Paulina was having such a good time, she was singing Bust a Move on a fuckin’ karaoke machine. Jibber couldn’t even look Dante in the eye. Rachel Crustacean came with her friend, Jennifer Nutrino. Rachel made it a point to come over for a second to say she liked my Undertaker swim trunks, and I fuckin’ froze up. Opened my mouth but nothing came out. All I could see was the perfect corn laced double pusher I laid across Principal Squeen’s parking spot and blamed Crustacean for it. She got two weeks detention for that one. I can’t forgive myself until Rachel Crustacean forgives me. I have to tell her.
July 8, 1990
Dear Diary,
The Prevalias have taken the lead. Jibber’s fuckin’ dad, Durant, is the lead singer of one of the best cover bands in town, Durant Durant. They cover Duran Duran songs and Durant looks just like the lead singer. So when you’re watching Durant Durant you can barely tell it’s not Duran Duran because Durant looks so much like the lead singer of Duran Duran. I found Rachel dancing during Hunger like the Wolf and I said “Rachel, I’ve been keeping a secret from you for a while. When we were young, I would piss and shit and blame it on you. I hope you can forgive me.” And Rachel Crustacean didn’t even stop dancing. She looked right at me and fuckin’ said “Yea I knew you were doin’ it back then.” Now this intrigued me, so I had to ask “Why didn’t you ever tell Principal Squeen?” And Rachel Crustacean looked me dead in my goddamn eyes and said “I thought it was funny”. She was right! It was damn funny. I was the funniest guy in Ladner. Felt good to remember that.
September 1, 1990
Dear Diary,
I’m piss blamin’ again and I fuckin’ love it! Thank you Rachel Crustacean. When she told me that she thought it was funny, she reminded me of something I forgot somewhere in the past few years. Piss blamin’ is fuckin’ fun! I’m a fuckin’ piss blamer! And guess what? Now Rachel Crustacean is too. That’s fuckin’ right; she asked me to teach her so we went to Blockbuster Video in Hawthorne this afternoon and Rachel piss blamed her older brother. He works there, but maybe not for much longer. His fuckin’ boss thinks he pissed on a stack of Dick Tracy tapes. AH HAHAHA HAHA THAT’S SO FUCKIN’ FUNNY! I think me and Rachel Crustacean are gonna have a real fun freshman year. Oh and as for the Prevalias and Littlelegs, well the Prevalia family won the party battle. The last party they threw had a 15 minute long firework show, a robot that served people drinks, an arcade with Street Fighter II. Hell at one point, the goddamn Teenage Mutant Fuckin’ Ninja Turtles with pizza for everybody! Steven Trilobyte ran off with Michaelangelo’s nun chucks at one point; he was jokin’ around with them, you know, twirling them around, making weird fuckin’ noises, fuckin’ Trillo!
October 16, 1991
Dear Diary,
I haven’t taken a shit in 48 hours. That might not seem like a big deal to a normal person, but for me, it’s the end of the fuckin’ world. My asshole is usually as regular as an atomic clock, but I ain’t even had a pucker in the past 2 days and it ain’t for a lack of fuckin’ tryin. I’ve been packing in all the foods that usually do the trick. Burritos. Taquitos. Quarter Pound with Cheese. Doritos. Cheetos. Quarter Flounder with Peas. Nectarines. Tangerines. Ice Cream Sundae with Nuts. Green Beans. Sardines. 18 pack of Cold Cuts. Creme Brulee. Curds and Whey. Box or 2 of Saltines. Fish Filet. Goose Pate. Big ole Bowl of Black Beans. Filet Mignon. Parmesean. 2 Hot Dogs in 1 Bun. Candied Pecan. Grey Poupon. Coffee after a Run.
Hell, I even tried using the teacher’s lounge. Leaving a two tower mud castle sticking up out of the water without flushing is my go to method for shit blaming Principal Squeen. Thinking about it usually gets the engine running immediately, but still nothing.
October 17, 1991
Dear Diary,
Had to put chapstick on my fuckin’ asshole this morning. It’s dryin’ out from underuse. Never knew that was possible. My guts feel fine though. No sense of discomfort at all despite me doubling my fuckin’ caloric intake in an effort to shock my bowels into action. Going into the bathroom is gettin’ hard though. Just standing there at the urinal, listening to those other turds hit the water; smelling them. Never been jealous of another man shittin’ in my life. Guess there’s a first time for everything.
October 18, 1991
Dear Diary,
Mayday! Mayday! I don’t know how this happened, but Jibber Prevalia’s annual Fall Coed Camping Retreat snuck right the fuck up on me. I still haven’t taken a shit and Dad’s driving the bus to the campsite tonight. Dante Littleleg, Jennifer Nutrino, Sunny Sutton, Donny Dutton, Cam GUUMM, Nathaniel Letardo, Sandrine Computer, Hell even Rachel Crustacean is gonna be there. I’m thinking about skipping this year in my current condition but I can’t miss the opportunity to get valuable one on one time with Crustacean. We’ll be camping right next to the First Kiss Forest and everybody knows, that’s your best shot for a first kiss. I’ll try to push one out right before we get on the bus, but I think i’m gonna have to take my chances out there in the fuckin’ woods. Hopefully they got a decent fuckin’ Porta Potty.
October 19, 1991
Dear Diary,
I swallowed 7 sleeves of bacon flavored Ritz Crackers on the bus ride out and still nothing. Except a little stomach gurglin’ last night. Maybe that’s a sign, but I’ll tell you an even bigger fuckin’ sign. Rachel Crustacean just made it a point to sit next to me at the campfire. While Jibber’s dad was playing Bryan Adams songs on the banjo, Crustacean was asking me if I wanted to go explore a little today. She specifically said “ I hear there’s a nice forest close by”. I think this camping trip is gonna be it. My actual first kiss, and I couldn’t be more excited. I can’t help but wonder what Hulk Hogan’s first kiss was like; and I hope I can measure up.
October 20, 1991
Dear Diary,
Crustacean and I left the main campground around dusk to to explore the surrounding area, per her request. She knew right where she was going. She took my hand and lead us into a small clearing in the First Kiss Forest, where we saw it, a Ladner landmark, The Smoochin’ Boulder. It was a rock covered in graffiti from all the couples who’d had their first kiss there. Rachel said “ You know you can’t put your name on the smoochin’ boulder unless you kiss while you’re standing near it”. “I’ve heard that too” I said, trying to play it cool, and succeeding in that attempt. So we walked over to the boulder, and I looked down. She ran her hand across all the names that were there before us. Conrad Ferarri and Jennifer Samantha. Pip Denbar and Hadrian Decade. Jim Ginchgonch and Evil Inornament. All had their names circled in a heart. Then Crustacean pulled out a paint marker and said “You wanna put our names on the boulder?” Oh hell fuckin’ yes! We leaned in, I held my breath, and just as our lips were about to touch, I felt the unbridled power of a week’s worth of unspent stool racing through my lower intestine straight for my anus. There was no way I was gonna be able to hold it back so I just ran away. No time for an explanation. No time for anything but to hope like hell that I could get to somewhere secluded to unleash what would easily be the largest work of art I’ve ever created without offending Crustacean.
The closest I got was a few feet outside Mr. Prevalia’s tent. Luckily he was out by the campfire playin’ his banjo and no one else seemed to notice, which was hard to believe. The smell of it. The sight of it. Hell, even the sound of it was like a triple thunder clap, but there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. I felt like someone should’ve at least turned their head, but no one did. I was left alone as my body began a series of involuntary heaves. The waves of stool demanding my spine to bend in ways I didn’t think was possible. The steady stream was interrupted only twice by staccato firings of golf ball sized pellets that might have been the parties responsible unhealthy blockage. Once I was done, I unzipped Mr. Prevalia’s tent, and used his door flap to wipe. Wasn’t proud of that, but I had no choice. Then I went back to find Crustacean, but she was gone. I went back to the camp, but she and Jennifer Nutrino were already in their tent. Zipped up. Cut off! I fuckin’ botched it! But next morning when we all woke up and started packing to leave, Jibber’s dad noticed my pile and said “Woah, I didn’t know there were bears in this part of the forest”. AHH HELLL YEA! I shit blamed a bear without even trying! You got it! You still fuckin’ got it!
November 11, 1991
Dear Diary,
Big fuckin’ news at school today. We got a new kid, and not just any kid, it’s Principal Squeen’s estranged son Cornelian Squeen. No one knew Squeen had a kid; turns out he was livin’ down in Tampa Florida with his mom, but she got remarried. Some international investment banker. AHH HELL YEA! She’s moving to Vienna to live in a fuckin’ palace. Corn didn’t wanna switch continents so he got shipped to Ladner. Gotta be tough startin’ over in a whole new school not knowin’ anybody. I feel bad for him. I truly do, but rules are rules and it don’t matter if he’s got Squeen blood pumping through his veins or not, he’s a new kid, so I gotta shit blame him by the end of the week.
November 12, 1991
Dear Diary,
I’ve been thinking about something a lot lately. A few things really. They’re kinda like rules for how to shit blame. A few standard strategies that you should always be usin’. I guess they’re actually more like laws. These are the four laws of shit blamin’ . AHH HELL YEA
Law 1. Never take the Blame- The whole point of shit blamin’ is to blame someone else for the shit you took. If you take the blame, then you’re not shit blamin’ …You’re just shittin’
Law 2. Always Have a Full Tank- There’s no worse feelin’ on this dyin’ world then seeing an opportunity for an impromptu shit blame materialize like a miracle before your eyes, but you have no turd to give. My digestive track is now essentially a continuous turd transitioning through various forms of evolution. From the first bite of a bologna and cheese sandwich with a side of Old Dutch Lightly Salted Potato Chips all the way down to a deep mocha colored Moray Eel with the consistency of an unripe banana perched half an inch from my rectal sphincter waiting and watching for my call to action. I can quite literally shit on demand 24 hours a day. Can you?
Law 3. Time Beats Location- The “where” is important, don’t get me wrong, but never as important as the when. If you take a shit outside the context of a publicly agreed upon lavatory, someone will find it and they will want answers no matter where you do it. So if no one is around for a few minutes, it’s not to quiet, it’s not too sunny and the time is right, it might not be the exact location you’d staked out, take the shit anyway. And have enough confidence in your improv skills that you will find a way to make that location work into your larger narrative.
Law 4. Blackout Contingency Protocol- Although it has never happened to me, I assume the day must eventually come that I will be caught in the act of shittin’ and this first hand eye-witness will make it impossible for me to blame anyone else. But as I stated in law number one, I will never take the blame. So if blame can’t be given, it has to be eliminated. And the best way to do that is to pretend to pass out immediately. Force the faculty to call the doctor. Remain unconscious. Then force them to call an ambulance. Remain unconscious. Go to the hospital. Remain unconscious. Stay overnight. Remain unconscious. Then wake up the next morning with no memory of what happened to you for the past 24 hours. The shitting will take back seat to concern over what mystery illness could’ve put you into a one day coma and erased your memory. There will be no blame!
November 3, 1991
Dear Diary,
I’ve been tracking Corn Squeen for 3 days. I know his entire schedule.
1st Period- Bioblogy with Mr. Dinner
2nd Period- Weight Lifting with Mrs. Dermite
3rd Period- Teeth and Bones with Professor Tony Boy
4th Period- Trigonomony with Mr. King aka the Chit Chat King
5th Period- Ladner Customs and Traditions taught by the incomparable Sir Pepper Stain
6th Period- Topere Gardening with the school groundskeeper Blake “The Rake” Baker
Target sits alone at lunch. Target goes to the bathroom during 4th period every day. That seems like the best time to strike. Should be a cake walk. WHAAT? Should be a cake walk.
November 14, 1991
Dear Diary,
My plan was airtight. Leave my 4th period class on a bathroom pass. Wait for Corn Squeen to emerge from his class. Trail him to the bathroom. Take a shit in the hallway in front of the bathroom. Inform the nearest teacher the brown pile of feces I happened upon. And offer my speculation that is was Corn Squeen based on seeing him heading into the bathroom earlier. Wait with that teacher until Corn Squeen emerges from the bathroom and is forced to answer for his supposed crime. It was textbook. Only thing is, none of it happened. I waited and waited but Corn Squeen never emerged from his class. I roamed the hallways lookin’ for him for at least ten minutes, but he was nowhere to be found. I decided to head back to class and try again tomorrow, but I never made it back to class. When I turned the corner at the end of hallway B, I ran smack fuckin’ dab into a 7 inch triple twister complete with peanut inlay. I knelt down. Had to get a closer look. Whoever dropped that thing was good. Real fuckin’ good. That’s all I remember thinkin’ as I looked up and saw Corn Squeen pointing at me from the other side of the hall. And standing next to him, was his fuckin’ dad. Corn Squeen shit blamed me! Tried to anyway. Once I got into Squeen’s office, I talked my way out of it as usual. I’ve never had a rival in anything. Not Football, not Comedy, and certainly not shit blamin’. I have a certain respect for Corn Squeen, but that won’t stop me from doing what I have to do. Corn Squeen must be destroyed.
April 8, 1991
Dear Diary,
Welp, it’s official. The funniest guy in Ladner just became the luckiest guy at Delta Senior Secondary. I woke up this morning just like any other day. Brushed my teeth, did my hair, pinched off exactly 3 and ⅝ inches of brown gold to make room for breakfast. But when I came downstairs to eat said breakfast, both my parents told me that they were gonna take my little brothers to visit our Aunt Tasman and Uncle Goard. Gonna christen the new pool they got for summer, but Tasman and Goard are all the way out in Chilliwack. That’s two hours; two and a half with traffic, so they’re gonna stay the night. Which means I got the whole motherfuckin’ house to myself. Which means no one will be here to stop me. Which means I could do whatever I want. Which means it’s time to fuckin’ party!
April 9, 1991
Dear Diary,
I’m batting 1000. Every person I’ve invited has RSVP’d with a resounding yes. Jibber Prevalia, Timothy Bubble, Rachel Crustacean, Jesamin Tenders, Greg Kincaid, Gino Dolphin, Dante Littleleg, Bethany Protien, Deandra Towel, Jennifer Nutrino, Tabatha Mordrid, Steven fuckin’ Trilobyte, cuz you can’t have a party without fuckin’ Trilo, Lamantha Lamp. Hell, even Cornelian Squeen said he’d come by. You know, we’d had our differences in the past, but we put those behind us and became close friends. The universe truly moves in mysterious ways.
April 10, 1991
Dear Diary,
Scored the drinks but I got no place at my house to hide 200 cans and bottles without my parents wondering why I got so thirsty all of the sudden. Luckily Gino Dolphin’s dad has an old tool shed in their backyard that he never goes in anymore. So we hide the drinks in there on ice for the next 3 days and no ones the wiser. Except maybe Gino’s older brother Mark who keeps his Victoria’s Secret Catalogs in that shed. But now that I got the beverage situation locked and loaded, it’s time to come up with some activities for my guest. I was thinkin’ arm wrestle, leg wrestle, singin’ contest. Football game, Shit and Blame, Standing Bench Press. Happy Meals, Tractor Wheels, Sleeping Upside Down. Gold Hats, Baseball Bats, Screaming in my Crown. Putt Putt, Pizza Hut, Eat Charcoal Briquettes. Thin Noodles, Thick Poodles, Livin’ with Tourettes. Here a Lie, Start to Cry, Someone’s gonna Die. Break a Law, Draw a Straw, Feed yourself a Pie. Ginchgonch, Pinch Launch, Gobble Don Do Dee. Crank Tank, Thank Bank, You’ll have to wait and See. Bibble Tribble Ribble, Scrip Dip Dibble.
April 11, 1991
Dear Diary,
I haven’t been completely honest with you. Yea I wanna throw a party to prove I’m the coolest kid in Ladner, but it’s more than that. The real reason I wanna put together the best event this town has ever seen is to impress somebody. And I think you know who it is. Rachel Crustacean. I like her and I think she likes me. But we still haven’t had that first kiss. So I’m hoping that the moment will be right at the party. And to help create the perfect moment, I wrote her a poem. And to make sure she knows how much she means to me, I went down to the antique paper maker and got a special scroll of Papyrus 2000 years old. Then I rented an antique gator bone quill set and a Victorian Ink Pot. I read a few books about calligraphy and did my best to make it look nice. And it looks real fuckin’ nice so she should enjoy it as she’s reading along to me reciting to her from memory.
I have felt love but once before
A man who’s dead forevermore
But talk of him I shall not do
Tonight I speak of Lovin’ you
On second thought, let me just say
One real quick thing, if that’s okay.
So big, So strong, So powerful
Rewrote that what was allowable
21 bouts undefeated
The streak is what we all needed
Just who was this number breaker
He went by the Undertaker
Never be another like him
A hero, but he’s dark and grim
He’s in my dreams and in my heart
He doesn’t wrestle, he makes art
If I should die before I wake
My soul is his to undertake
Through hell we’ll walk hand in his hand
Love everlasting for this man
One faithful day so long ago
Something happened in his first show
Undertaker took me over
Dick so hard, I lost composure
She’s gonna fuckin’ love it!
April 9, 1990
Dear Diary,
It was a disaster. Crustacean showed up 2 hours late and when she finally came, she wasn’t alone. She brought Tandy Baggins. Tandy Baggins was not invited to this party for a reason. Me and Tandy had heat. We went into business together in the 3rd grade selling candy out of our backpacks at lunch. We sold out every day for a few months. Then Tandy got sloppy. Instead of keeping the operation mobile, he just sat down, opened his backpack at a table in the middle of the cafeteria and started selling. There was a circle of 20 kids standing around him within 2 minutes. Couldn’t have drawn more attention if he had fireworks coming out of his ass. He got caught AND he got scared. They wanted the name of his accomplice in exchange for leniency. So he sold me out. He only got a week in detention. They called my parents who were understandably not happy. I kept my distance all night. Didn’t wanna make a scene. Baggins never left Crustacean’s side so I never got my shot. Fate can be cruel. I’m not letting this discourage me. Tandy’s got a round of bad karma coming his way for ratting me out. Hell I could feel it. And shoot I might even cause it.

Logline: Leader of a small mercenary gang goes back to business in order to fulfill her dream and be a big shot in the underworld, but it's easier said than done.
Genre: Animated, Action, Dark Comedy
Format: 30-minute Pilot
Pages: 20
Feedback: I look for more personal feedback. Do you like it? Would you watch it? Are characters interesting? Is it funny? Recently I got feedback that Sziliana (lead character) is kinda stealing the show too much so I made corrections and I would like to know: Is she still too much? Of course if you find any technical errors I will gladly take them as well! My English grammar is not perfect and sometimes I spell a word completely wrong, because it sounds the same. (It gets kinda morbid sometimes, like "skull" & "school" or smth) I proof-read it specifically from this perspective, but I could skip something, so I'm sorry in advance!
Trade: Absolutely up for a trade! I love reading scrips and I try to give the best feedback I can! DM me if you wanna swap.
Here is the script:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ebmpx_Bmo7EQfKuAuwv7ywaMS6d5eiE5/view?usp=sharing
Additional Info:
Show Pitch: Do you like hot monster boys? Dystopian fantasy-cyberpunk worlds? Brainless, nonsensical cartoon violence? Maybe you just like crime-related shows? Well whatever it is, Gang for Rent is just for you! In Norwegian town of Morkland which is overflowing in the worst kind of living garbage, Sziliana - a leader of the infamous 38s, with questionable sanity status, dreams about becoming a big shot in the underworld. Finds out it's a lot harder to pull off, especially since one of the conditions of getting rich and famous is not dying like an idiot. Follow her struggles, as she tries to get back in business along with her friends in an action packed, comedy show filled with violence, dark humor and way-too-anime thugs.
Episode Title: The Great Come-Bang!
Episode Pitch: After being stuck in a rut for a while, 38s desperately need money to pay up their rent, before they get slaughtered by their Landlady. They take a risky contract to kill a high-up in one of the famous companies in town.
Thanks for any feedback! I feel like I'm close to actually finishing this script and maybe getting down to doing something to produce it!

This was my attempt at constructive criticism, although I'm not always as eloquent as i like so i apologise if any of this is not well explained. Also, i initially write this as a reply to a comment on the video, but i decided to post it here too because 1 I can't shut the fuck up and 2 i heard a lot of other people say they disliked it but just couldn't tell why so i wanted to see if i could maybe verbalize it. Anyways, here:
It feels like a lot is just misplaced? On Nikki's design i am fine with the makeup, and even the clothing being revealing, but i feel it didn't keep enough of her personality. And also the personality aspect is quite a bit of it for the other characters too. Also, i feel as if Max's character development being set on track wasn't taken into account either, a lot of his comments feel inconsiderate, and his dialogue feels like he's went back in his growth and maturity. I feel they should have kept the vulgarity, but not made him as rude. Also, in the show its heavily hinted at that Sasha mistreats the other flower scouts, they apologize to her a lot for nothing, and she makes them feel bad for things like Erin being smart and Tabii being intimidating. The logical growth is for the other 2 to split off and accept themselves and grow from it. Not for them to stay with Sasha and act like that never happened. It doesn't play as much on their character traits as i'd expect. Tabii is shown to be mostly neutral on her education, and is shown to more have character struggle around self image, as well as her sister being an unhealthy influence, and her relationship with Neil being obsessive and disrespectful of boundaries, and strengths in her willpower, assertiveness, and physical strength. We don't really see any of this played off of. It doesn't feel like that's Tabii because nothing shown about her other than her crush on Neil is really showed. She struggled with having one eye, and instead of her growing to accept and love herself without the eye, she just got a new one slapped on. And with Neil, she should have really grown past that and realized a boy won't fix her life, she should have became more confident without Neil instead of him being her object of affection. He was an unhealthy attachment, and not like virginity is bad but her saving herself for him feels like she never truly grew, he was never meant to be the one for her, he was meant to show how the unhealthy issues she dealt with manifested with a relationship where she's not in love but obsessed with an idea.
The story itself doesn't move very smoothly. I feel like there was a better way to tell the story of petrols death than nikki just randomly popping up and asking something really big and serious so lightheartedly and out of nowhere. There should have been a conversation leading up to it, not just sudden plot convenience. Also, Nerf is very much implied to be gay, and also more enlightened, why is he shown as sexually attracted to nikki? Even without him being portrayed as gay, it wouldn't fit his enlightened personality to make decisions based off a boner. I think he would volunteer for the hike with Nikki, not because she's hot, but because he thinks it would be calming. Also, the whole, "nikki is hot," gag felt stale before it started too. It feels forced and also just kinda in bad taste. Almost everything feels so forced and unnatural. None of the character interactions really follow and a smooth direction and take time. Its like you need to get from point a to point but instead of drawing a line from a to b and gradually making your way, you stay on point a, and suddenly we are at point b at the snap of a finger. Nothing is gradual.
It also feels a bit lazy how some of their designs were just their original clothes on a bigger body with minimal changes and a different hair style. While they should be recognizable, i don't believe this is the correct way to do it. Make them recognizable not by just, "hey, that shirt belongs to x character, so that means its them," but with their actual traits brought out. You literally just put a moustache on David and called that change. Do something to show he's from a different generation from these guys. Give him a lumberjack gut and a flannel or just something. He's 24 in the original show, you aren't going to only change your appearance with facial hair from 24 to 39, there will be many other noticable differences.
It also feels its missing a lot of it's comedy. I know its because delivery is hard without voice acting, but even with scrips jokes can often be very funny. It feels very dry on the writing, nothing feels like it lands if its even intended to be comedic at all, which is essential to camp camp because while it has emotion, the main captivation is the comedy. I know this sounds weird because most shows get the opposite critique, but many joke delivery in this show comes from chaos or vulgarity. One of the main gags was quartermaster being disturbing, and when he's very present the lines feel disturbing in a comedic way, and they can give it more kick. Its also reaction humor in the show a lot, and it feels like here theres not a lot to react to so theres not a lot of comedy. Some of the jokes feel just plain misogynistic, yes the show has jokes on misogyny in it, but its funny because its usually coming from a character who we know is a shitty person, and its funny not because, "haha, misogyny funny," its funny because, "haha, oh my god this character is bad for saying that but its halarious how they say it." And in the show, they don't usually have the moral characters saying bad thing unless the joke is its shocking someone good would say something this bad. You used the character that were shown to be better like nerf and then made them say kinda bad things without the punchline being, "woah, we thought they growed," but instead we are supposed to agree. Its kinda gross to use the characters in a twisted way to send those messages. I get, the "oh its just a joke," but jokes are commentary and ways we convey a true message.
The character designs could have also been helped by their small details shown in the show. I feel they're missing the growth and connection. They feel flat. Like max being shown to be highly manipulative is one of his main traits as well as good with money and business, but he's also trying to be better as a person. Its also mentioned his parents moved from his home county for better opportunity. Maybe these traits could be used to make him a defense lawyer later in life or something else that those traits would help. Maybe he hasn't even finished law school yet, so we could see him as a college student. Nikki is shown to love outdoors and be practically unable to live without it, and in one episode she got really happy looking at a rock. A survival a guide isn't a bad idea per say, but it feels like it was just the first idea, and it feels like the obvious choice since she was at adventure camp, but i feel it would be interesting if she had more reasoning than that. Maybe she could have been a geologist of some kind, or biologist, maybe even a vet, or considering she likes to be on site and has a lot of strength, and the ability to tame, maybe she now works for animal control. If you did keep her as a survival guide though, i still don't know if that's the best design. Shed probably look more rugged and not look so clean. In the wild you get dirty and you get cut up, and it feels weird and very non nikki to be spotless. Hell she'll be the first to roll in a pile of dirt. Also i feel as if nothing in her design indicates her personality or job. Perhaps if she had some survival gear with her, like a knife or a backpack it would be better. Also, while dealing with birds like that you'd definitely need some protective gear. Maybe while shes riding in she could have had one of those bird handling gloves on. Also, since she's shown to still be childish compared to quite a few other characters like Neil and Max, maybe she could be grown up but still shown to be a bit childlike. Kind of like david even, show her reckless nature with bandaids and bruises, make her have a childish vibe with suspenders to call to her overalls she loved, or a tooth gap, give her her explosive mannerisms back, just do something to bring back her personality. Also, give Gwen's hair some texture, theres no fluff there like she has in the show, and black people have different hair texture, so please give them accuracy and don't make it look like she flat ironed everything except her bangs.
Theres so much more that if i listed it all I'd be here for days. It just feels so un inspired. It feels like they didn't make this because they were filled with passion and a story to tell, it felt like they were out of content and wanted more and wanted it their way, ignoring most of what made it special.
Edit: also, the creator saw my review, they were unhappy to say the least. They're very unwilling to accept any critique, and instead dismiss everyone who disagrees as hate. Honestly super dissapointed.

Check here [YOUR FAVORITE ROLES - (animedub's collection of favorite Voice Actors and their Roles)] for rules and previous names.
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Gonna be taking more of a break next week for the Thanksgiving Holiday here in the States. But here's one last fun "Your Favorites" question for you before we start up again in December.
The work of an ADR Scriptwriter juggles a lot of work for just one show

• Research: Reading the source material and/or watching ahead to get a feel for the story and they way each character talks, including their tone and cadence. They along with the ADR Directors would be the go-to people when VAs ask for context
• Writing out the words of the characters for the VAs while not only staying true to the source material and/or Sub version, but also to match lipflaps as best as possible while keeping it sound natural for the general audience and for VAs to understand.(Cause we know there are times where you have too many lip flaps for something that be expressed in three beats, or vice versa when you have only three flaps to fit in the story of one's life)
• And for dubbed songs, it's an extra challenge for Song Adapters for not only matching flaps, but matching musicality, rhythm, and being sure the song is true to it's original.

Some ADR Adapters do the extra things to go the extra mile for a better dubbing production. Like maybe a basic understanding of the Japanese language and culture when ADR Adapting for anime. Maybe adding some personal flair and fun to the scripts while staying true to the original. Maybe somehow adding a touch of their own lives and experiences in the words they help adapt for the show.
Like most of the jobs behind the glass of dubbing anime, ADR Script and Song Adapters is really an unsung and sometimes underappreciated job. Especially if they have to dedicate a good chuck of their time every year just to for simuldub adaptations. Usually when a script is adapted well, you never notice it. But when it's glaringly bad, you'll never heard the end of it. Though, Song Adaptation is celebrated a little more since dubbed songs don't happen to often due in the simuldub process.
It's a job that requires both the left and right side of the brain. And they deserve all the credit and praise in the world for being an important process in the Anime Dubbing world.
So I want to know who are your favorite ADR Scriptwriters, Script Adapters, and/or Song Adapters. Which ones do you think have often times stayed true to the source material and/or subbed version? Which shows do you find yourself having the most fun or the most emotional investment because of the adapted words? Which ones takes bold risks and ends up paying off in the end?
I know many of the dub companies have their go-to Adapters. Do you have a favorite for each? Or just a handful? I love to hear your answers.
​
- Leah Clark (Sleepy Princess In the Demon Castle, How Heavy Are The Dumbbells You Lift, Sk8 to Infinity, Magical Girl Spec Ops Asuka, Chio's School Road): Comedies do give the ADR Writer much more to work with, and I think her scrips of Sleepy Princess, Dumbbells, and Sk8 have been easily some of the most memorable of them all. I love how she adds in some pop-culture/memes/millennial talk into it while still making it work.
- Kristen McGuire (Helpful Fox Senko-San, Kono oto Tomare Sounds of Life, Reincarnated as a Slime, Dynazenon, Diary of our Days at the Breakwater): It goes without saying that more often than not, Script Adapters put in a lot of work and a lot of heart in the shows they help adapt. But i feel that with every Kristen McGuire script, you can just feel her love, passion, and care put into her adaptations. She's also one of the hardest workers when it comes to script adaptation too.
- Tyler Walker (Fairy Tail, Appare-Ranman, Ace Attorney, Dr. Stone, Combatants Will be Dispatched,) Probably known more for his script adaptation and supervision, though he does have some VA credits on his ANN. It's really simple actually, he helped adapted some of my absolute favorites, and it's part of the reason why I enjoy these show so much.
- Amanda Lee (Actors Songs Connection, Kageki Shoujo, Show By Rock Mashumairesh): in my opinion, she's the best Youtuber when it comes to anime song covers. And though she's only had three Song/Lyric adaption credits on her ANN, they are all home runs. Actors Songs Connection being probably her greatest challenge: dubbing ALL the songs within a 12 week simuldub schedule.
- Brina Palencia: (Zombie Land Saga, Show By Rock, Hanagai):
- John Burgmeier: I mean, have you seen this man's resume on ANN with the number of show's he's helped adapted?
​
Honorable Mention
- Matt Shipman (Akudama Drive, Hensuki, New Game Season 2,)
Favorite Sentai Adapters: Kyle Jones, Chris Ayres, Clint Bickham

Also known as assemblies, assemblages, makamat. Every maqama in this new translation from the Library of Arabic Literature is followed by extensive notes and glossaries, reluctantly omitted here for reasons of space. Before Cooperson etc, the only English edition of this anthology that the contemporary reader might actually enjoy was that of Amina Shah (Octagon Press, 1980), a lyrical "retelling" with few notes that has since gone out of print. The two previous c19th translations were written as cribs and teaching texts, archaic, stilted renditions for the learner of Arabic; they are no fun to read atall! For a later example of this genre by a Spanish rabbi/poet who admired/translated al-Hariri's Maqamat and sought to outdo them, see also Judah Alharizi's Book of Tahkemoni, in David Simha Segal's definitive annotated edition (Liverpool University Press, 2003; every maqama, written in rhymed prose which DSS has reproduced in English, is accompanied by up to ten pages of commentary):

Imposture 7: Gangs of New Saybin

This episode features a blind Abū Zayd and an unidentified old woman working together as peddlers. The old woman distributes copies of a poem containing a request for money and people who wish to keep a copy must pay for it. The poems being their stock in trade, the peddlers are careful to collect all the unwanted copies for reuse. No one is coerced into paying anything, but, like most of Abū Zayd’s other activities, this one entails fraud, in this case because he is not really blind. At the end of this story, he pulls another fast one by eating the food al-Ḥārith offers him and then sneaking out of the house. Presumably he does this to avoid having to sing for his supper, though the reason is never properly explained. In keeping with the theme of well-practiced fraud, all the characters in the English rendering use the argot spoken by mid-nineteenth-century swindlers, thieves, and rowdies in New York, as compiled by George Matsell in his Vocabulum; or, The Rogue’s Lexicon (1859).
7.1 El-Hâret Ebn Hammâm whiddled this whole scrap:
I was set to leg it out of Barkaid, but I could smell the festival gathering like a storm, and I didn’t want to hop the twig before the jeffey. When the Bairam came, with its row and fanfare, its liturgies and articles, I upheld ancient custom and sallied out rum-togged in a new set of duds. Around the autum, the stir had gotten in kelter, and the coves in the push were starting to whiffle. Just then an old sharp in tats rose to his feet. Over his peepers was a tatty-tog, and under his rammer a knapsack. An old hen with a bracket-mug was leading him around. Staggering, he moused a salutation. Then he dipped into his bag and took out some pieces of scrip scratched in different colors. Handing them to the harridan, he told her to gun the flats in the push. If any looked bene and plump, she was to give them each a stiff.
7.2 As Old Shoe would have it, one of the gapeseeds came to me. On it was this glibe:
Old Poger has made me swim for my swag, But lenten in my panny is my pap-lap; For his sweet sake tip us a rag. I’ve been rooked by curlers who sweat the bag, I’ve been bilked by burners for a goose-cap; Old Poger has made me swim for my swag. If only I could square it and turn stag! But kinchin needs scran in his flatter-trap; For his sweet sake tip us a rag. I’ve been kimbawed and tied with a gag, And lost my regulars after the scrapp; Old Poger has made me swim for my swag. He’s made me heave peters off a drag, And when my squeaker whindles, I tap. For his sweet sake slip us a rag. I’m rum-bit by the best-not to brag: By coves that lace, and coves that snap; Old Poger has made me swim for my swag, For our sweet sake tip us a rag.
7.3 When I had measured the way those lines had been laid out I got smoky, and I wanted to get the party who dealt them down close. A rover came into my nouse-box: I’d use the trot to rope him in, dawbing her as if she were a dookin mort. So I gunned her as she worked the rows one by one, asking the coves in the push to post some sugar. But it was a no go: the gripe-fists were canting her nix. At last she gave it up. “Of God are we,” she chanted, “and to Him we hare it!” Then she began to take the stiffs back. For some reason Old Poger made her forget about mine, and she never transpeared me. So she hared back maudling to the old cove, mouthing that she’d been dealt a skinning hand. “Dunnakin!” he said. “In God we trust, and in Him alone!” Then he chanted:
All men are equal in my eyes, For all are hard of heart; Not one will help his fellow rise When Malice casts her dart!
7.4 Then he told her: “Collect the stiffs and count ‘em again, and tell yourself, ‘It will come off rye buck, for bully times are here!’”
“I counted ‘em when I collected ‘em,” she said, “and one of them’s been pilched.”
“Nickey take you, harridan!” he cried. “Shall we lose the stick after the hook, and the glimstick along with the tace? Why, this is the last strammel!”
So the old hen legged it back the way she had come, buzzing for her piece of scrip. When she drew close to me, I held up her fakement, along with a spanish and a jack. “Here’s a teston; if you want it, you must chant. But if you would rather keep your wid shut, take the spud and mizzle!”
“Kirjalis!” she said, emphatically declaring her partiality for the hard cole, which was big and shiny as Oliver. “I’ll cackle.”
So I asked her to whiddle me the whole scrap about the old sharp, and tell me who had scratched the verses.
“Why, that’s the cove from Saroodj, and he’s the word-pecker.”
Quick as a ramper, she grabbled the spanish and legged it.
7.5 That is when I tumbled to him: why, the cove must be Aboo Zaid! I grew glum at the thought that his gagers had been gouged out. I hoped to sneak up and chaff with him until I got him down fine. But there was no way of reaching him but to step over all the coves in the push. That proceeding, say the brothers of the coif, merits a jobation; and I was unwilling to be chivied for jostling through the stir. So I stuck to my spot, keeping my peepers planted on the old cove until the autum bawler’s patter was ended and the breakup began. Then I bolted after him. Though his glims were gummed together, I’m as fly with the seavey and the scavoir as Ebn Abbâs or Ebn Iyâs, and when I measured his mug I saw I had copped him to rights. I told him my chant, gave him one of my mill-togs, and offered him some tommey. He was glad I’d chalked him, he said, and he was grateful for the lift, and yes, he would come and yam some pannam. So we legged it, with him piping me and hanging on to my flapper, and the cutty-eyed hen making tray.
7.6 After we had moved our beaters into my crib, I flicked him some pannam and kaffar.
“Hâret!” said he, “is anyone with us but pilgarlic?”
“No one,” I said, “but the lady.”
“And she is a staunch moll, so there need be no fear.”
Then he opened his peepers-his gagers-his glims-his lamps-his ogles-his day-lights-and that was a Jew’s-eye! But pleased as I was, I was bustled, and agog to be flash. “Why play a groper,” I asked, “when you so often walk your boots to daisyville, pad the hoof on dusty donbites, and ride your stampers far and wide?”
At first he pretended his potato-trap was full of scroof and he was too busy yamming to gab; but when he had wound up the tooth-music, he chanted at me cutty-eyed:
One queer lamp has Mother Goodluck, And dark her other glim; If you need her help to come off rye buck Best keep your ogles dim.
7.7 Then he said: “Now off to the back-room, there’s a bene cove, and bring me a bit of washing-powder to delight the eye, scour the palm, soften the skin, perfume the breath, tighten the gums, and brace up the old bread-basket! Scent it well, grind it fresh, pound it fine, and serve it in a clean dish, so it smells like camphor and feels like gummy-stuff for the glims. Pair it with a toothpick split off bang-up timber: a jock to stubble in your gob and a prime twig that edges you to yam, as lathy as a heaver, as limber as a switch, and as glib as a spado or a spit!”
I got up agogare to bring him the cog-picker and the slippery, in order not to lurch him with a reeky daddle. But he was sending me to the back room to put me on a string and I never tumbled to it. I was away only for an instant; but when I hared it the panny was M T and Aboo Zaid and his drab long gone. In a pelt over being topped, I hopped the twig to tout them, but they might as well have been boated, or been hoisted into nubibus.

Imposture 28: A Void in Samarkand

This is another constrained-writing episode, the constraint in this case being to compose a Friday sermon containing no dotted letters. This means using only thirteen of the twenty-eight letters of the Arabic alphabet. Excluded, as a result, are almost all the common prepositions, second- and third-person imperfect verbs, and many other exceedingly frequent features of the language (though the dotted feminine ending is allowed). For his English equivalent, Abū Zayd will deliver a sermon without using the letter e. This difficult but not insuperable constraint is the one adopted by George Perec in his novel La disparition, and by his English translator Gilbert Adair, who excluded e from his rendering too (the title is A Void). In the next episode, where Abū Zayd does the trick again, he will use no vowel except e. The rest of the Imposture is delivered in heavily slangy New Zealand English. The action is set in Samarkand, a city in what is now the southwest part of Uzbekistan. Seen from al-Ḥarīrī’s Basra, Samarkand was very far east indeed. New Zealand, similarly, is at the eastern edge of the English-speaking world—from a British perspective, at least. It is also helpful that so-called Kiwi slang has a robust vocabulary for drinking, which is a theme of this episode. My Kiwi text was corrected and improved by Toby C. Brown.
28.1 Al-Harith sprog of Hammam spun this yarn:
Once, back in the day, I tramped though the wops, yeah, humping a heap of sugarcane to sell in Samarkand. Being a young fellah, I was a bit of dag back then—bright as a button too: any chance of a piss-up and I’d be keen as. Kicked on through the mirages and all that, but it was pretty hard yakka. And by the time I reached Samarkand it was sparrow’s fart on a Friday, so I had a hell of a time finding a futtah for the cane and a warry for me. Soon as I had a roof over the ol’ coconut, though, I nipped over to the bathhouse cause I ponged a fair bit, to be honest. So yeah, that was me, bro, looking pressed off and buttoned. Then I ran full tit to the masjid: noon prayers eh. I wanted a seat up front so I could get a good squizz at the imam and make me a primo offering to the Lord.
28.2 Being as I was first through the door I got me a choice spot for the sermon. Then heaps of people start coming in, some just by themselves, some with other fellahs, and pretty soon the place is chocka. At the crack of noon the preacher makes his grand entrance and follows his offsiders straight up the guts. Taking the stairs he goes to the top of the pulpit and lifts his right hand, like he’s saying “Hey, what’s up fellahs?” Then he sits himself down waiting for the prayer caller to finish up. When it’s his go, does he go!—all full on, I tell ya. He gives us a right old ear bashing.
28.3 “Kia hora! Glorious is God, and glorious all words naming Him! For His favors, I thank Him; for His gifts, I laud Him; and in hardship I cry out to Him, God, King of nations, who will lift my body from its tomb on doomsday! Our Lord is bountiful in giving, swift in forgiving, slow to punish, but mighty in His wrath, as Ad and Iram saw. What shall pass is known only to Him; what you lot know ain’t worth bugga all.
“I submit to Him, proclaiming His unity; and I call on Him, hoping for His pardon. I affirm Him as all that is, or was: a just god, subsisting without division; not born of anything, and without child; an only god, all-sufficing. By His command Muhammad brought Islam to pull us along a straight path, giving us a Qurʾan to confirm what Hud and Salih taught, and to proclaim His law to all nations, of ruddy skin or black.
“Through him God bound up all our rifts and divisions and laid down a way of living for His community, distinguishing right from wrong and commanding purity of body for pilgrims to His Kaaba.
“May God cast rainfall upon Muhammad’s tomb, proclaiming his salvation! May our Lord lift up his family and his iwi for as long as tuis cry and Tukis baa, as long as stormclouds burst and sailors go on cursing!
28.4 “I call on all of you to act rightly and toil mightily for your own salvation. Spurn illusion, for it is sworn to harm you, and amass your provisions joyfully for that coming world. Gird your soul as if with armour: spurn lowly things, fight off that malady known as ambition, and push away all thought of joining God without labouring for Him first.
“Look at how all things pass away. In good nick today, and happy as Larry? Ah, but tomorrow—tomorrow you may look total crap, or just a bit crook, but soon it’s all piss awful, and finally that cry: ‘that bugga’s carkin’ it!’ Now think of that last day, as your soul slips from your body and your body to your tomb. What a horrid sight: a shaft with nobody in it but you, and Munkir and Nakir asking whom you worship! Up that old boohai now, I’d say, right boys? Too bloody right!
“Look around you! This world has no pity: it will trick you, trap you, and undo you, as it will all of us. It turns luscious fruit into biting colocynth, routs mighty hosts, and lays all nobility low. It brings, if not infirmity and pain, sorrow and frustration; it may nourish you now, but its milk is curdling into poison. I who talk to you will soon cark it, and you who worship will up sticks and kick it in your turn. Off you go, says Bob Munro: not just to us ordinary folk, but to czars and shahs and kings!
“Do you look at folk with dosh and wish you too had a big fat stash? Fat lot of good wishing will do! I’ll knock, if I may, that wool off ya coconuts. Not too far off, that pack of rich bastards will blow through, and so too will you! Oh, lions may maul and worms may sting, but all that lot will kick on for a day or two, and vanish. You, too: this world may go your way, but swiftly will it turn its back, tossing away your plans and scorning your indignation, putting out a hand only to draw it back, and giving you what you want only to snatch it away! Go on, bust a gut trying to hang on: you too will succumb to that fatal pang that brings sorrow to kith and kin!
28.5 “Think now of that God who guards you, though you fail to stay mindful of Him. How long will you pass your days in frivolity and distraction, stubborn and sinful, scorning good words from all who know, and ignoring His command? How long will you stuff about, two kumara short of a hangi, till all you can do is whip your cat?
“As you cling to this world, you watch your wits slip away, and you slouch toward a sarcophagus that is nothing but clay. Don’t you know that your doom is at your back, and gaining? That your turn to burrow in that soil is not so far off? That a footpath sharp as a sword awaits, and an hour mighty and grim? That horrors will afflict you past that hour? Flout God, and you will burn, as kindling in a conflagration, charring your skin, with a guardian who has no pity, slaking your thirst with poison and thrusting you into blasts of scorching wind. On that day no acquisition will avail you, not your offspring, nor crowds of companions, nor armour and arms, nor slumgullions and barmolic!
28.6 “Whom will God pardon? Him who curbs his lusts and follows a path of right action, doing as God wills, and labouring to gain that bliss that will sustain him in his tomb. Toil, I say, so long as your day is young, your stars compliant, your body vigourous, and your constitution strong, for soon, much too soon, what you wish to avoid will assail you and agony will afflict you, striking you dumb, robbing you of your wits, and pulling you down into a tomb-shaft! If you fail, agony awaits: a pain that will not stop, and sorrow unabating, with nobody to pity you, or cool you with a balm, or push away that flail.
“So how will it go for us? Rough as guts, fullahs, and ain’t that God’s own truth! Our way out—that’s right: all of us, bros—is to pray that God stir our convictions, lavish His pity on us, and admit us to His court. I ask Him to favor us and all Islam by wiping away our sins, as no god bar Him, a saving and forgiving God, can do. May it go with a bang, boys: that’s my last wish for you!”
28.7 Al-Harith continued:
When I heard that, I thought: “Mean as! That fellah just preached a whole sermon without once using the letter E. Faaa!”
Now I was curious, so I took a good long gawk at him, trying to suss him out. At first I thought I didn’t know him from a bar of soap, but then I realised: hard out, it was Abu Zayd, the Impostures bloke! Given where we were, though, I had to keep quiet. So I waited until the prayer was over and the punters were gapping it for the doors. Then I went up to him and said, “Chur, cuz!”
He jumped up, looking stoked to see me. After that we bowled round to his house, where we had a yack and he told me his deepest secrets.
28.8 By that time it was getting dark and I was ready to crash. But he’d brought out the booze, big jugs full, man, nek minnit.
“Bugger!” I said. “You’re on the piss even though you lead the prayers round here?”
“Nah yeah bro, in the daytime I preach, and at night I’m on the turps, eh.”
“Bloody hell! I don’t know what’s more dodgy, mate: seeing you go bush and leave the rellies, or hearing a boozer like yourself deliver such a stonking sermon.”
He turned away, looking hacked off. Then he said:
Did I leave you in the churn? Don’t pack a sad, bro: people change. Look around, cuz, and you’ll learn It does bugger all to rage When it all to custard turns. Not even, ow: The age Is rotten. Get after joy; never spurn A piss-up. She’ll be right if you engage; For bloody soon they’ll come, the worms, And no one, be he fool or sage, From that bourne has yet returned.
28.9 Later, when the jugs had gone round, and we were both a bit munted, he made me swear honest to G that I’d keep his secret all to myself. Well, I saw him right, and not half-pie either: I didn’t just keep the boozing under wraps, I went round calling him pious to the days. We kept on that way till it was time for me to shoot through. When I left, he was still ear-bashing by day and hitting the piss by night.

Imposture 33: The Joy of Yarabic

In this Abū Zayd asks for charity on the basis of an apparent disability. His complaints about poverty and illness are reminiscent of the kvetch comedy associated with twentieth-century Jewish-American performers like Henny Youngman, Don Rickles, and Rodney Dangerfield. In this Imposture, accordingly, he will speak in Yiddish-inflected American English. This variety, sometimes called “Yinglish,” has spread beyond the northeastern United States and has contributed many words and expressions to informal English. It has also been extensively documented, most notably by the prolific Leo Rosten (d. 1997). Besides listing the many colorful Yiddish words that have passed into general use, Rosten documents pragmatic strategies like fronting and stress shift, with copious examples.
33.1 Howie said to stop him if we’d heard this one before.
What, miss a prayer? Me? Listen, as soon as I was old enough, I promised Ha-Shem I would never wait too long to daven, if I could help it. Even in my wanderings in the wilderness, and all the eating, drinking, and making merry under the sun, I always kept an eye on the zmanim so I wouldn’t miss a service, G-D forbid. Whenever I went on a trip and we stopped somewhere, you think I wasn’t glad to hear a barekhu? You think I didn’t look for a minyan?
So this one time, I arrive in Tbilisi, and I daven with a bunch of poor kaptsonim. We finish up and everyone’s getting ready to leave when this old man, nebekh, comes up to us. He’s dressed in shmattes and one side of his face is paralyzed. He says to us, he says: “If you’re a mensch, and you’ve got a bissel rakhmones in your heart, you’ll take a load off and listen to me for a minute. That’s all I ask! Then, if you want to give a little something, give. If you don’t, who am I to make you?”
So everybody sits down, wraps their taleysem around their knees, and waits, quiet as a bunch of stones.
33.2 When he sees he’s got an audience that knows from speeches, he says, “Listen, I don’t have to put a finger in your mouth: you know it’s better to trust one eye than two ears. Remember the three things you can’t hide? Well, poverty’s one of them! Look at me: my hair’s gone gray and I can hardly stand. I look terrible and I feel worse! You want to hear something? I used to be ongeshtopt mit gelt, and a balebos to boot. I was always ready to help the poor and the stranger. A regular k’nocker, that’s what I was . . . until I took a bath and lost it all! They nickel-and-dimed me to death and took every shekel. Look in my pockets: bupkes! Look at my house. You call that a house? Or take my clothes . . . please! ‘Hard service with mortar and brick,’ that’s what my life is. And the kinder—oy vey! Always kvetching, and why not? They’d be lucky to get a kraitzik to chew on.
“Believe me, I wouldn’t be here right now, telling you about my tsuris, and putting myself to shame, if I hadn’t tried everything else, and come out worse off than I was before. I should have saved the trouble, and died first. Halevai!”
Then, after a mournful krekhts, he wheezes out these lines:
33.3 I cry out to the Holy One, Blessed be He! They say you love fools. So what about me? I was somebody once: I had honor and wealth, I was strong as an ox; I was bursting with health! Then fire burned me black, And troubles broke my back. When I was rich, I welcomed the poor, Even the goyim knocked on my door. That’s over and gone! My cupboard is bare, Not even the roaches go looking in there. So I’ll take; it’s all I can do. But giving’s a mitzvah for you!
33.4 Howie wasn’t finished:
Now the congregation wants to know, “Who is this guy already? He must be hiding something! What’s he not telling us?” So they say: “We can see you’re a khokhem who knows the mama loshen, but what about your mishpokhe? Whose lontsman are you? Nu?”
The old schnorrer gets a look on his face like a man whose wife just had another daughter. He mumbles a curse on nudzhes and nudniks, and says anything, even skinning a carcass, is better than begging. Then he sings in a plaintive wail:
If honey pleases your tongue Why ask me where it’s from? Just shut up and eat! If the wine ain’t got a hechsher, Don’t give me a lecture; Just shut up and drink! A maven doesn’t ask, He just empties the glass; That’s what I call taste!
33.5 Howie still wasn’t finished:
The crowd ate it up. How could they not, seeing a sick man sing like that? So they pulled out the coins they had hidden in their waist-bands and money-belts, and put them together. “Listen,” they said, “we’ve got money like an axe can swim. If we were twice as rich we’d be broke. But take this: it’s better than a hole in the head.”
The old schnorrer made a big production of thanking them, as if their pitifully few coins were an oytser. Then he turned away and stumbled off, with one side dragging the other.
33.6 “Wait, wait, let me finish!”
Suddenly I notice that there’s something cockamamie about the way he’s carrying himself. So I get up and follow him. He keeps giving me looks—such looks, kinehora!—and tries to duck me. Finally we reach a place where there’s nobody on the road but the two of us. So now I’ve got him. What’s he going to do, run away?
When he sees me coming he has the chutzpah to pretend running into me is a simha and he’s ready to plotz with joy.
“Hah, I can always tell!” he says. “You were looking for company. Listen, have I got a deal for you! How’d you like to come in as my partner? You won’t have to lift a finger and I’ll take good care of you. Expenses included!”
“So who’s saying no?” I say. “The Holy One, Blessed be He, must have led me to you.”
“‘If now I have found favor in thy sight,’” he says, “‘pass not away, I pray thee, from thy servant . . . and ye shall rejoice in all that ye put your hand unto, ye and your households, wherein the Lord thy God has blessed thee.’”
And then in mitten drinnen he laughs and stands up straight. Whaddaya know? It’s our melamed from Serug. Paralysis, shmaralysis: there’s nothing wrong with him anywhere. Oy, am I glad to see him, and glad his illness was just a shtik! But when he sees I’m about to give him an earful for being such a gonif, he cuts me off, and again with the singing:
Alts far gelt, all for gold, A stroke is worth the trouble; Alts far gelt, all for gold, Let ‘em call you a shlemazl!”
Then he recites, “‘I have been a stranger in a strange land,’ but the land of my sojourning cannot bear me. So if you want to come with, let’s get a move on. Nu?”
So we took off by ourselves and stayed together two whole years. Me, I was ready to stay with him for the rest of my life, but better you should ask for the moon from heaven.

Imposture 46: Araby

With his audience already staggered by Abū Zayd’s verbal artistry, al-Ḥārith adds another twist by reporting that even children can match it if they have Abū Zayd for a teacher. The schoolroom setting of this Imposture brought to mind the scene in Chapter Two (the “Nestor” episode) of James Joyce’s Ulysses (1922), in which Stephen Daedalus tries (with decidedly less success) to impart history, poetry, and mathematics to his charges. In the spirit of the novel, which revels in ad hoc coinages, Abū Zayd and al-Ḥārith will relax the usual constraint and use or invent text not found in Joyce if it comes across as something he might plausibly have used.
46.1 Related the doughty narrator:
An imperious desire drew me, yearning, longing, to Halep. Decisive, brisk, no family then to feed, I took my cockle hat and staff and flew the roads. Alighted in the spring when young men’s fancy. Sucked dry the saps of Halep, slaked my droughth. Sated, cloyed, felt the peregrine flap. Idly: Where now? Emessa! Jolly Emessa! O to estivate, where every citizen is an imbecile. Onward through the bowl of night, like a comet slung to put the djinn. Upon her outskirts I pitched my tent. Wafty wind’s caress. How now? What old pedagogue is this? Quondam vigour lost, half unwithered still. About him ten schoolurchins, some in pairs, others alone. A propitious opportunity: are the sages of Emessa as stupid as men say? The senex saw me approach, at once put on a blithe broadly smiling face, and returned my greeting with a more gracious. I sat eager at his feet. Not a word could fall from his lips without betraying his suppositious vacancy of mind.
46.2 Presently he pointed with his rod at the eldest of his pupils.
—Give us twelve verses without an O, he said. Be quick.
Blurted the boy:
Sans that letter, I can spell Blade and belt and shield, Brave and fierce and plucky, And Let the craven yield! Sans that letter, I can spell Wine and girls and games, Which all bright lads must put away Lest tarnish dim their names. Sans that letter I can be Cultured as a scribe; I can lend a friend a hand, And in battle guide my tribe.
—Soar silver orb, cried the schoolmaster, o, you blessed abbot.
46.3 Turning then to the next pupil, image of the first:
—Come up, you peerless mummer.
The boy came forward smartly, poised as a passer of cups.
—Scrawl me some lines like a dunner’s note, where every word contains an O.
The imp trimmed his stylus and snipped the tip, clapped a tablet to his lap, scribbled:
Woe to your poet, for lo, Off your poet’s doe doth go! No more throbbing voice so low, Nor orotundity of form: oh no! No more gibbous moons aglow, Nor songs along old Lovers’ Row; For coyness cannot joy bestow, Nor love so coldly lopped regrow.
The teacher squinted scrapeshuffling at the inscription.
—Dear gazelle! Blessed tree of life!
46.4 Then he called Garryowen!
A boy: a star by night, a Grecian statue in a niche.
—Make me mongrel couplets whose only vowel is O.
The boy seized the reed and wrote:
Yon box of obols, Or lot of spoons: goods Lost too soon, to mobs, to rot, To voodoo, or monsoons! Do good: do not hold on! Look: to poor folk Go obols, gold, Yon box of spoons! No loss to donors, To poor folk boons!
—Ne’er forget thy cunning, said the teacher, nor thy tongue its mischief.
46.5 Then he called: Grabby, you perisher!
Another pupil, a dewdrop pearl, ox-eyed, obeyed.
—Five anagrams in verse. Mahak makar a bak!
Took pen in hand the lad without stopping wrote:
Her lidded darts impale my heart, Shredded, tamed, impartially. She has lovely eyes then? Eh, yes! Even so they shall Ne’er outdo her bosom Tremorous, Bede: oh no! Put both, Ben: a litheness To banish sleep, but then My viler art invoked, she caves, And revives my lovesick heart.
The pedagogue peered at his pupil’s slate. Orthography: satisfactory. Jots and tittles up to scratch.
—Keep a steady hand. A keener lad never drew the breath of life.
46.6 Another boy: peachy cheeks: roses of damask.
—Recite, said the senex, two lines, inimitable and immune to a third, of which the chief feature is epanalepsis.
—May God spare thee presbycusis, said the boy, and preserve thine host unvanquished. Listen. Without dilly-dallying he declaimed:
A good lad says “Thank you,” there’s a good lad. He’ll go bad if he’s greedy; if he lies he’ll go bad. —Hoopsa, boyaboy, hoopsa!
46.7 Then he said, Tom Thumb! Versify, if you please, all the words with silent B.
On his feet in an instant, the boy gabbled nasally:
There’s limb and lamb and jamb and comb And climb, but don’t say clomb; There’s numb and crumb and doubt and dumb And plumber, plumb, succumb; And subtle rules of thumb: for womb Has but one rhyme: the tomb.
—Bravo, little breeches, o, you martial clash of cymbals!
46.8 He said: Now then, Rantipole: versify the words with silent K.
Up sprung a cub. Unstumbling sung:
Knock is one, and so is knot, And knee, and knead, and kneel; And know, and knoll, and knitting, But don’t call Neal Kneal. There’s knuckle, knife, knave, and knight, And knap-, that goes with -sack. It’s not too hard to list ‘em all Once you’ve got the knack.
—Bless you my child: o welcome glee!
46.9 Wee as a chesspiece, the next boy was. But darting deftly: a sparrowhawk.
—Some verse, if you please, on ambigraphs. Look sharp!
Pulling along his gowns the boy stood up stout chanted with waving graceful arms:
Amuck can or may with equipropriety be indicated amok. A racket is (1), a fraudulent scheme or (2), an implement for striking a ball, while racquet denotes only the latter. Mollusk and mollusc are for all intents and purposes the same, whilst clew is a heterograph of clue. Judgment may pseudoepenthetically be spelled judgement. Ax and axe (pseudoparagogic) each commands its legions. Enquire may with the approval of eminent epigraphists be set down as inquire as furore may be cropped and docked to furor. Cry and countercry as to the correct method of writing these and other amphigraphs recalls that verse of sacred Scripture: They have flayed you with sharp tongues.
You can write adviser And merrily run amuck; Or you can write advisor And win, with any luck. But is it better to write racket Or racquet with a Q? And how to finish mollusk? I haven’t got a clew! How many E-s in judg(e)ment? And is ax or axe preferred? I wish I could enquire; Oh, this furore is absurd!
—Wee little wee little pipy wind, said the teacher, o you eye of newt!
46.10 Then he said: Jumbo, you pandemonium of ills!
—Here, sir, said a boy bright as a newlaid egg.
—A poem, please, on principal parts in -ing and -ung.
—May thy din chagrin thy foe, said the boy. Then without waiting for a word of help:
One paradigm is based on sing, Which gives us sing, sang, sung; It works for ring, but not for cling, So don’t say cling, clang, clung! So too fling and sting and string: The last two parts are one.
The teacher, rocking with delight, implored God’s protection for the lad. Offered to sacrifice himself for his sake if need were.
46.11 —Boomer, you catastroph, he called out next.
Up with a boy. Bright: a lamp lifted beside an open door.
—Rhyme some cryptic glyphs. Vex thereby thy foes.
Awriggle with delight, the boy fell to bellowing:
A certain Charivarius Put it into verse: Our spelling isn’t all that bad: Actually it’s worse! Why should put take after foot Instead of a word like nut? And foot itself should rhyme with hoot! How to know what’s what? Shouldn’t worse sound just like horse Or be spelled some other way? But horse, of course, rhymes with coarse, And way with cabaret. Why do comb and bomb and tomb Each have a different O, And rose and dose a different S? Does anybody know? Three whole spellings for just one sound In poor and pour and pore;
Orthoepically, shoes rhymes with booze, goes with nose, and does with fuzz. Read, if uttered reed, is the present tense, and if red, the past tense and past participle. By the operation of an analogous differentiation of vowels, tear denotes (1), a laceration, laniation, or separation violently wrought; as well as (2), the lachrymotic effluvium. St John in utterance becomes SIN-jin or SIN-jun.
But with shoes, and goes, and does, It’s the converse I deplore! Ate and eight are homophones, But read and read, not so; Tear and tear have different vowels, And though resembles throw. And who on earth would ever guess? A simple name like St John When you say it as you should Rhymes (more or less) with engine!
Cholmondeley, pronounced CHUM-ley, is an English family name; so Leveson Gower and Featherstonehaugh. Arkansas, autochthonously sounded without the final s, is one of the United States (cf. Arkansas City, in the state of Kansas, which is pronounced ar-KAN-zis; and the Arkansas River, which admits both of apocopation and nonapocope.) Cairo, Illinois (ill-i-NOY), eponym of Cairo, Egypt, the latter with biro homoiocatalectic; Palestine, Texas (TEG-zis) reportedly named after Palestine, Illinois (also PAL-e-steen).
Cholmondeley, oddly, rhymes with glumly Leveson Gower is ‘loosen-gaw’; For Featherstonehaugh just say ‘fanshaw,’ And for Arkansas, ‘ark-in-saw’! Egyptian Cairo turns to care-o Up in Illinois; And Palestine’s called pal-e-steen Down in Texas, boy! Though I could list a hundred moor I’ll stop hear if I may; Unless you learn them won by one Yule give yourself aweigh!
—Bravo! Clapclap. Good man. Clappyclapclap. An ephebe. Fresh and tender. Keeps a charge all the same. Keeps a charge closely as the earth herself, forgetting nothing, as none shall be forgotten on that terrible Day. I led you beside the pure fresh waters. You and your schoolmates: a pentice of gutted spearpoints. Remember me in your prayers. As I you. Think of me with thankibus. How sharper than a serpent’s tooth!
46.12 Related the doughty narrator:
It was a marvel to see one so adept in his ad libitum and yet a dullbrained yokel. I scanned him cap-a-pie. Probed mercilessly. Inscrutable: nethermost darkness. Howling waste. At last, impatient of my plodding wit, he glowered at me and grinned.
—The sign and dueguard of fellowcraft is no more.
The shaft struck home: it was Buséad. By his weasel teeth bared yellow I did know him. I began to remonstrate. Why dwell among dunces, ply the trade of dunderheads? He recoiled: kiss of ashes. Draught of bile. Spat back:
Bless cretintown And teacher’s gown For fortune loves a fool, o! Go find the rain Down by the drain In a lazy swirling pool, o! Or brave the drought And wet your snout In puddles, learnèd mule, o!
46.13 How did Buséad respond to his interlocutor’s expression of contempt for his profession?
Yes teaching is the noblest profession never wanting for takers and the best intercessor on behalf of your immortal soul and so impressive too when done right all those lads eager to obey oh yes and a bit terrified of you docile as sheep aren’t they and you ordering them about like a hussar or a prince in your little kingdom where your word is law not for long though too soon senile and famous for imbecility and little wit oh you can take it from me all right.
—Old father, I said, old artificer, who beguiles the mind, and breaks to his will the unruly steed of speech.
He continued long thereafter cloistered with his schoolboys bailing pails of philologic from his winedark deep until the blazoned days ran their course and sundered us by a dusty doom and so I wept alone

There’s no way to add another repo or it’s not like xbmc and everyone says it’s in the repo but the only video add ons are things like Comedy Central and stuff, no scrips. when going to the add repo menu it only lists the official one. Running the latest version
EDIT deepin 20.1

Before I complain, I admit I have it waaaaay better than most. I managed to trick a bank into financing a house, I get paid way too much to carry heavy shit around a warehouse, and I have a healthy, happy son. I’m also a white, male, straight American who lives in the age of cheap TVs and Netflix. There are Hapsbergs who’d give up fucking their cousins to have my life.
Having said all that, I’m miserable right now and have been for awhile. The upswing in the BPD cycle just won’t kick in and my rules/healthy habits aren’t working anymore. Eating healthy, sleeping well, listening to new podcasts and books, spending time with my son, etc. is having no effect. I’m unmedicated after a string of awful scrips. Luckily, my healthy habits system worked for years until now.
Here’s how this recent depression started: we watched Pixar’s Soul and it brought back all these feelings of inadequacy, hopelessness, and regret. I did stand up before my son was born and have been struggling ever since. It’s the only thing that ever made me feel worthwhile. I tried to fill that hole other ways, but they were either terrible fits are wild long shots that didn’t pay off. Example: I enter screenplay competitions, but that’s just once a year and failure outside that narrow avenues is almost guaranteed because I live in the middle of nowhere. I love writing spec scripts for TB shows and almost get the same rush as being on stage. Unfortunately, no one is hired for TV jobs out of KY. I also tried writing novels, but just don’t give a shit about them. I honestly don’t even like reading them that much. I was just trying my hand at something I can self publish from anywhere.
So here’s where I’m at: I construct my whole life to ignore how unfulfilling, wasteful, and hopeless life feels without comedy. I make my living off the strength of my back, but I already have a near permanent limp and two bad shoulders from a decade of hard labor. I literally have nothing else on my resume. I’ve worked the same job since high school. My son will have no reason to look up to me when he understands I’m just a grunt in a warehouse. I can’t quit to start something new because my whole family is poor. Plus, the whole goddamn planet is melting, we’re dealing with a plague, and the economy is about to crash for a 2nd time since I’ve been in the work force.
Worst of all, I feel SOOOO guilty about all this. My wife is incredible. I love my son more than anything. My life is perfect from caveman’s perspective, but here I am typing this. Why can’t this be enough? Billions of people would be ecstatic to live my life and I’m whining on Reddit at 2 in the morning. Fuck me.

I started narrating audiobooks as a side gig about a year ago and decided I wanted to do something more. My original idea was to work with authors and co-write stand-alone episodes based on the worlds of their novels- I quickly learned that what I thought was a quick and easy transformation was not. I tend to lurk more than speak but have appreciated the knowledge and positivity of this community!
What I ended up with is Crossroads Cantina. With the protagonists telling their stories to the barkeep. I was inspired partly by spider Robinsons Calahans Crosstime saloon books, also masterpiece theatre and tales from the crypt haha... More than anything I wanted a medium to play with writing and producing. My hope is I will improve on that piece and produce a series that is not based on stand-alone episodes, but for now, I hope to at least be mildly entertaining.
The first episode was written by an author I narrated for and is set at the beginnings of a zombie apocalypse. The second episode due to release on 11/15 is based on a short story I wrote that I would categorize as paranormal. I've got some comedy, mythology, and sci-fi in the works as well.
I am only releasing one episode a month (any more would be impossible as I work full time.) My original goals were really to just do something fun, and create. I've read recently that transcripts are really important, so I am trying to backtrack and fix my scripts so they are readable and accurate. This WILL happen, haha!
I'm feeling some serious imposters syndrome, and love constructive feedback!
here are the links below. It's on Itunes, amazon, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google.
https://crossroadscantina.captivate.fm/ (podcast website)
www.bethconnor.com (my website that I am waaaay behind on updating)
Also, I'm open to producing other writer's scrips and stories, so feel free to reach out!

I'm curious if people agree with this or not. I am a fan of the channel and find Shelby and Matt both charming and clever, but I think the original concept of the channel--and the hook that brought people in--was "uninformed girlfriend watches her boyfriend play games, then records a video giving thoughts from her perspective."
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She can like things, dislike things, whatever, but that conceit doesn't seem compatible with stopping before giving those thoughts to do extensive research on the history of gaming to see where a game fits into the grander context of things, looking up literary theories, etc. In short, the gimmick is comedy and relatable venting, not journalism.
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Obviously, I know that that was always a charade and making the videos, writing the scrips, editing, finding the memes, etc. took a great deal of hard work, but a transition from that format to something that seems to try and split the difference between that and a more serious reviewing format strikes me as anathema to the original point of the channel and not playing to Shelby and Matt's strengths. I can find a review anywhere, that isn't what I loved about GF Reviews, and I don't think it's what most people use the channel for.
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As a side note, it also probably makes more sense to review games that are a little older that people already are familiar with for that reason (things like RDR2 or TW3, where they were crystalizing frustrations people had in a funny way were the pinnacle imo, which is probably why they're among the most viewed videos) vs. unreleased games where they cut themselves off from that strength.
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Perhaps I'm in the minority and others prefer that evolution for the channel, but it seems like a drift away from what was the greatest thing about the earlier videos to me. Not that recent ones aren't still good, but I sometimes feel like they could be better if the focus were a little bit different.
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(Note: I haven't even watched TLOU2 review yet, so this isn't a passive-aggressive complaint about that. I know a lot of people feel positive and negative about it, so I wanted to just get that out of the way)

Anyone interested in doing a review exchange with me? It’s simple: you review my fic while I review yours.(ether by one overall review or by chapter to chapter is up to you) I will try to review any fic from any fandom I know of(unless the canon story is not important) I also do want to review more longer, story driven fics. I love OC plot divergent or time travel plot lines, but your fic don’t need them.
When I review, I focus more on the story then on things such as grammar and spelling. I’ll only comment on them if they are frequent. I’ll also review on ether: Inkitt, Wattpad, or FanFiction.Net(No AO3 because I don’t have a account.)
My fic is called “the LEGO movie: first encounter” and it’s based on “The LEGO movie 2; the second part.” Its like a rewrite but does have a more crossover feel near the end, it also have some romance. It’s around 30k+ long and as 18 chapters on all the sights listed above.(except for Wattpad because it has 17 chapters for some reason?) it’s in the first person POV and has scrip like dialogue if that deters you.
I hope we can have fun reviewing!!
Edit: oh and I also love meta/fourth wall breaking fic and comedy focused fics. And I also do ask that the fics are complete or close to being complete.

For those who don't know, "Boy And His World" is an animated Brazil film about a little boy looking for his father in the big city. As it shows off shockingly dark parts of society. Such as sweat shops, poverty peaceful protests going violent, and nothing the film's colorful, childish look would imply.
What makes it cool however is that it's told entirely without any real dialogue. The script must be nothing but "The main character does this, "Then he does that. After he dose it he feals like this".etc Do thay have to explain what all the visual metaphors in the film? The Shaun the sheep movie also lacks dialog although that's definitely a comedy.
Anyone know ware I can find the script For boy and his world? I have the Terminator 2 scrip saved on my laptop. This would also be a great pice to study.

Hello. I am the main writer for OREON COMICS. What we do is find artists and illustrators who have an interest in making comics and give them the scripts and platform to do so. We are looking for anyone who is interested. For the moment there is no to very little compensation but we hope to change that as we grow. Some of the different genres you can choose from are; humor, animals, romance, comedy, and life advice. One of the projects we are working on is The Misadventures of Thor and Zeus. It is based on what Thor would do in his free time and as he tries and fails to acquire a date due to Zeus' bad dating advice. Another one we are working on follows a teenager and his bad luck at different jobs that he is indifferent to. There are many other scrips we have and we make almost daily. if you are interested message us on Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/oreon_comics/ or our website https://l.instagram.com/?u=https%3A%2F%2Faldocervantes553.wixsite.com%2Foreon-comics&e=ATPcTgbKCYctScZGVjvArDu2WgyVDEyUy5t8ZClVGM0xHHf675vyRCjXXdqgsxspfvxqqSjDVifL90LCUg&s=1 I have attached two scripts that we make the day this was written. https://writerduet.com/script/#-M5iPD8nPWZgTj5Mwm95*A*-shard-3*Z*+ty-dGYRdIug5AQyrG9JS1N7tXBk All are styles are welcome.
if you would like to just support and donate to what we do please follow the website to our donate page. All donations go to helping what we do and paying our artists

Hello. I am the main writer for OREON COMICS. What we do is find artists and illustrators who have an interest in making comics and give them the scripts and platform to do so. We are looking for anyone who is interested. For the moment there is no to very little compensation but we hope to change that as we grow. Some of the different genres you can choose from are; humor, animals, romance, comedy, and life advice. One of the projects we are working on is The Misadventures of Thor and Zeus. It is based on what Thor would do in his free time and as he tries and fails to acquire a date due to Zeus' bad dating advice. Another one we are working on follows a teenager and his bad luck at different jobs that he is indifferent to. There are many other scrips we have and we make almost daily. if you are interested message us on Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/oreon_comics/ or our website https://l.instagram.com/?u=https%3A%2F%2Faldocervantes553.wixsite.com%2Foreon-comics&e=ATPcTgbKCYctScZGVjvArDu2WgyVDEyUy5t8ZClVGM0xHHf675vyRCjXXdqgsxspfvxqqSjDVifL90LCUg&s=1 I have attached two scripts that we make the day this was written. https://writerduet.com/script/#-M5iPD8nPWZgTj5Mwm95*A*-shard-3*Z*+ty-dGYRdIug5AQyrG9JS1N7tXBk All are styles are welcome.
if you would like to just support and donate to what we do please follow the website to our donate page. All donations go to helping what we do and paying our artists

Hello. I am the main writer for OREON COMICS. What we do is find artists and illustrators who have an interest in making comics and give them the scripts and platform to do so. We are looking for anyone who is interested. For the moment there is no to very little compensation but we hope to change that as we grow. Some of the different genres you can choose from are; humor, animals, romance, comedy, and life advice. One of the projects we are working on is The Misadventures of Thor and Zeus. It is based on what Thor would do in his free time and as he tries and fails to acquire a date due to Zeus' bad dating advice. Another one we are working on follows a teenager and his bad luck at different jobs that he is indifferent to. There are many other scrips we have and we make almost daily. if you are interested message us on Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/oreon_comics/ or our website https://l.instagram.com/?u=https%3A%2F%2Faldocervantes553.wixsite.com%2Foreon-comics&e=ATPcTgbKCYctScZGVjvArDu2WgyVDEyUy5t8ZClVGM0xHHf675vyRCjXXdqgsxspfvxqqSjDVifL90LCUg&s=1 I have attached two scripts that we make the day this was written. https://writerduet.com/script/#-M5iPD8nPWZgTj5Mwm95*A*-shard-3*Z*+ty-dGYRdIug5AQyrG9JS1N7tXBk All are styles are welcome.
if you would like to just support and donate to what we do please follow the website to our donate page. All donations go to helping what we do and paying our artists

I’ve played well over 500 collective hours of Fallout 76 at this point. It’s a game that I honestly am blown away by and enjoy a lot despite the glaring issues it does have.
I also made this review into a video if you don't care to actually read the whole thing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5uz-HaHwBXw
Before i start talking about it at all i want to say this is basically going to be a “why do I like this piece of shit video game” review, and even though i do enjoy it i want to point out I’m not defending the publishers or bugs here. The issues with the publisher that I have extend far past one game, and while what they did is unacceptable it does not reflect on the game itself, just how awful they are, same with how the bugs realistically reflect more on the poor programmers at Bethesda game studios more so than they do on the actual game content. With that out of the way here we go.
I love Fallout 76, but i’m not blinded by it. I played on the original beta they had and still have screenshots of just how god awful that was. The game was a horrific, buggy, broken, sad, mess of a game yet underneath it all I could see how good of a game it could be.
Here’s a controversial opinion: Fallout 76 is a good game.
Here’s a less controversial opinion: Fallout 4 is a good game, just not a good “Fallout” game.
Gameplay I’ve heard that comment echo a lot within the fallout and general gaming community. It’s because to a large portion of people Fallout 4’s best parts are the exploration, crafting and base building, all of which made it over to 76. Fallout 76 largely to me is Fallout 4’s best parts but online with friends. There are light changes but almost everything Fallout 4 did good is still there (as a side note I don't think that the RPG conversation parts of 4 are good, but 76 even surpassed those with Wastelanders). The main changes you get from 4 to 76 are the leveling, as crafting is pretty much exactly the same as is the shooting. This is because in 76 the leveling actually matters more in that there are specific character builds you can go for.
Leveling/Character Building This game has actually really solid leveling and character building. The game gives you 50 points to use as you see fit for a character’s S.P.E.C.I.A.L allowing you to actively level into what you need. Since it is not infinite like Fallout 4 you actually have to pick and choose. Do you want to level into melee or more into heavy weapons? Rifles or Pistols? You actually choose and really build the character around that and are given multiple perk choices to do so with. As well as mutations, a new 76 feature that you can either randomly get from radiation or take a serum to get. This allows for some crazy stuff such as my melee build: Perks for more damage from melee weapons, perks for more defense the higher my strength, a perk for the more radiation the more strength, two mutations for more melee damage, and a mutation that the lower my health the more damage i have (which my health is kept low with radiation). Not to mention my armor legendaries give me more special the lower my health, and my weapon does more damage the lower my health. You start this game shooting shots for 11 damage, and I punch things for 1.5k. Which brings me to my next topic.
Looter Shooter The game works really well as a looter shooter in the traditional game sense. Fallout 76 has 47 legendary effects possible for Weapons, and 41 for armors. These can be mixed and matched into 1-3 star legendaries for a total of over 3k different legendary weapon and armor effects across over 100 different weapons and 40 different armor’s. These allow you to really build out a character as you want, such as the legendary perks for rifles that can make VATS criticals do 50% more damage, on top of a perk to make using VATS cost less meaning you can just double dip into using VATS on everything. Basically there’s a large portion of the game that revolves around these legendaries when you get to higher levels, and luckily they did plan for this. You can trade in legendaries that you don’t want to any train station to break them down into “legendary scrip” that you can then trade into an NPC to get random legendary drops, or sell in the shops you can set up at your house. Both of which are features they added in updates to the game, and speaking of updates...
Updates To date this game has had a total of 32 updates. 14 of those updates added new content in the form of quests, new game modes, raids, season events, in game events, additional things such as the player stores and now a whole new campaign. The game has not been abandoned as many people like to claim it was. The longest time between updates was the time from the last patch to the current Wastelanders build which is honestly fair, and outside of that they were releasing two to three patches a month for the entire year of 2019. The other 18 of those patches were bug fixes and performance optimizations, which also came with the other updates. This is more updates than Fallout 3, Fallout 4, Skyrim and Skyrim Special Edition combined (ignoring the updates for SSE and Fallout 4 that just added stuff to the creation club). They looked at the game and saw what people were enjoying and began to cater the game more to those playstyles and players, which has worked out for the best to make the game better overall. They have been working consistently on the game, fixing it and adding new content.
Story The most recent of those updates brought Wastelanders to the game, adding a whole new campaign, companions, and storyline. A large part of why people didn’t enjoy the game at first was they felt the game was lacking in story for the world. Here’s a small tale the game tells you:
Delbert Winters was a Reverend living in the town of Flatwoods. He was born and raised there and was the head of the Church for the town. When he witnessed the bombs fall he saw it as the end of the world and as he saw it, the Rapture. When he was not one of the taken he had a crisis of faith, and began to wander living day-to-day as he reflected on his own sins, until he saw a group of survivors eating a raw rat carcass behind a dumpster. He realized that he was not abandoned by God but left on earth because he was needed. He then dedicated his life to helping everyone he could, helping to set up a book club and nightly survivors guilt meetings. He provided lessons and knowledge to everyone he could and set up farms and pastures to help people survive though the apocalypse.
That is a fantastic story, that is well told, and has some deep emotions behind it. That is also a missable story told from a few terminal entries, a holo-tape and a note. The writers who made the fallout 4 questlines boring and uninspired are seemingly not present here. There is comedy, heartbreak, and passion poured into the stories of this wasteland. You have a full main story where you find out about the factions lost to time as they failed to band together to stop the plague taking over Appalachia, and you meet many characters along the way, and now with Wastelanders you have even more questlines that you can change the outcomes of, two factions to work with or against (factions from new vegas), full dialogue in the style of New Vegas (with speech checks galore for quests and conversations) and a whole new main story on top of the old one.
Community I have never met a nicer and friendlier community in any video game. Nobody is mean to each-other in game, nobody really attacks each-other, and I've joined up with people straight up excited to go meet the new players joining into the game, talk with them, give them advice and some starting equipment. People just enjoy doing that and being nice to other people like that, it’s really refreshing and kind of shocking. I’ve had times where I would just hang out and talk with people about how their lives are going and what they’ve been up to in game as the game works as a sort of social space on top of the game.
Mods You can actually mod the game. Yes it’s not to the same degree as you could with other Bethesda games, and things like the ability do add custom weapons or quests isn't there, but I typically run around 20 mods at once for the game. As long as it’s not a cheating mod, Bethesda are fine with it.
Monetization There’s no good transition to this, so let’s get it out of the way...this game has great monetization. There is NO Pay-to-win present in the game what-so-ever. The main arguments for this come from: Fallout 1st, Atom Shop items, and I’ll address all of these.
Fallout 1st is not that bad. You do not get unlimited storage as some people think, you get unlimited scrap storage meaning you can hold more wood and steel, not that you suddenly can hold everything with no limit you still run into that same limit as you had before, it’s just you don’t reach it as fast. You also get access to a tent to instantly get into your storage box, which is really only helpful in certain instances, you can always just go to any of the multiple train stations/player houses/ red rockets across the map to offload some legendaries you are carrying around, not to mention the perks that make it easier to carry more.
Atom shop items are almost entirely cosmetic. Note i said almost there right? That is because you can purchase a few items that allow you to instantly fix a weapon/armor or instantly put up your scrap. What nobody who complains about them tells you is this: You cannot purchase the improved versions of those from shops at all. That is impossible. You can only get them by completing in game events and cannot purchase them with money. You can however purchase the worse off ones with Atom. They are 50 atom a piece (50 cents) and have bundles to get more for less (15 for 500) however what nobody mentions is the game has daily, weekly, character, survival, combat, social and world challenges all of which net you more atom shop points. You can earn 70 atoms from dailies and 170 from weeklies, not to mention the thousands of other points you can get from the other challenges. Everything in the Atom shop you can purchase if you just do a little bit of grinding.
Conclusion Fallout 76 has a lot of stuff for a lot of players. Do you wanna grind for legendaries and levels to try builds? Go for it. Do you wanna be a repair guy who hoards scrap and helps other players fix up their items and mod them up? Go do it. Do you wanna just spend time making cool houses and showing them off? It’s got that. Do you want a full campaign to play with friends in a massive open world with tons to explore and learn about the world? It’s got you there too and in so many more ways.
The game has a lot to offer and it’s far more than most people seem to think. It’s still not a game for everyone, however I do think it’s warranted giving the game a proper shot to see if it’s for you as you could be surprised. One of my friends I told to play it ignored me for a full year before getting it and then he spent almost 200 hours on it in a single month. I’m not saying it’s a fantastic, polished, bug free, greatest game ever made, I'm just trying to say it’s a pretty good game that may surprise you, so give it a shot yourself.
I'm also willing to answer any questions you may have in the comments as I know I didn't quite go over everything with this post.

I’ve played well over 500 collective hours of Fallout 76 at this point. It’s a game that I honestly am blown away by and enjoy a lot despite the glaring issues it does have.
I also made this review into a video if you don't care to actually read the whole thing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5uz-HaHwBXw
And if you think that this seems unneeded then I want to point out to you just how often people attack the game for seemingly no reason. https://www.reddit.com/fo76/comments/g2q2gi/youtuber_cleanprincegaming_the_footage_youre
Before i start talking about it at all i want to say this is basically going to be a “why do I like this piece of shit video game” review, and even though i do enjoy it i want to point out I’m not defending the publishers or bugs here. The issues with the publisher that I have extend far past one game, and while what they did is unacceptable it does not reflect on the game itself, just how awful they are, same with how the bugs realistically reflect more on the poor programmers at Bethesda game studios more so than they do on the actual game content. With that out of the way here we go.
I love Fallout 76, but i’m not blinded by it. I played on the original beta they had and still have screenshots of just how god awful that was. The game was a horrific, buggy, broken, sad, mess of a game yet underneath it all I could see how good of a game it could be.
Here’s a controversial opinion: Fallout 76 is a good game.
Here’s a less controversial opinion: Fallout 4 is a good game, just not a good “Fallout” game.
Gameplay I’ve heard that comment echo a lot within the fallout and general gaming community. It’s because to a large portion of people Fallout 4’s best parts are the exploration, crafting and base building, all of which made it over to 76. Fallout 76 largely to me is Fallout 4’s best parts but online with friends. There are light changes but almost everything Fallout 4 did good is still there (as a side note I don't think that the RPG conversation parts of 4 are good, but 76 even surpassed those with Wastelanders). The main changes you get from 4 to 76 are the leveling, as crafting is pretty much exactly the same as is the shooting. This is because in 76 the leveling actually matters more in that there are specific character builds you can go for.
Leveling/Character Building This game has actually really solid leveling and character building. The game gives you 50 points to use as you see fit for a character’s S.P.E.C.I.A.L allowing you to actively level into what you need. Since it is not infinite like Fallout 4 you actually have to pick and choose. Do you want to level into melee or more into heavy weapons? Rifles or Pistols? You actually choose and really build the character around that and are given multiple perk choices to do so with. As well as mutations, a new 76 feature that you can either randomly get from radiation or take a serum to get. This allows for some crazy stuff such as my melee build: Perks for more damage from melee weapons, perks for more defense the higher my strength, a perk for the more radiation the more strength, two mutations for more melee damage, and a mutation that the lower my health the more damage i have (which my health is kept low with radiation). Not to mention my armor legendaries give me more special the lower my health, and my weapon does more damage the lower my health. You start this game shooting shots for 11 damage, and I punch things for 1.5k. Which brings me to my next topic.
Looter Shooter The game works really well as a looter shooter in the traditional game sense. Fallout 76 has 47 legendary effects possible for Weapons, and 41 for armors. These can be mixed and matched into 1-3 star legendaries for a total of over 3k different legendary weapon and armor effects across over 100 different weapons and 40 different armor’s. These allow you to really build out a character as you want, such as the legendary perks for rifles that can make VATS criticals do 50% more damage, on top of a perk to make using VATS cost less meaning you can just double dip into using VATS on everything. Basically there’s a large portion of the game that revolves around these legendaries when you get to higher levels, and luckily they did plan for this. You can trade in legendaries that you don’t want to any train station to break them down into “legendary scrip” that you can then trade into an NPC to get random legendary drops, or sell in the shops you can set up at your house. Both of which are features they added in updates to the game, and speaking of updates...
Updates To date this game has had a total of 32 updates. 14 of those updates added new content in the form of quests, new game modes, raids, season events, in game events, additional things such as the player stores and now a whole new campaign. The game has not been abandoned as many people like to claim it was. The longest time between updates was the time from the last patch to the current Wastelanders build which is honestly fair, and outside of that they were releasing two to three patches a month for the entire year of 2019. The other 18 of those patches were bug fixes and performance optimizations, which also came with the other updates. This is more updates than Fallout 3, Fallout 4, Skyrim and Skyrim Special Edition combined (ignoring the updates for SSE and Fallout 4 that just added stuff to the creation club). They looked at the game and saw what people were enjoying and began to cater the game more to those playstyles and players, which has worked out for the best to make the game better overall. They have been working consistently on the game, fixing it and adding new content.
Story The most recent of those updates brought Wastelanders to the game, adding a whole new campaign, companions, and storyline. A large part of why people didn’t enjoy the game at first was they felt the game was lacking in story for the world. Here’s a small tale the game tells you:
Delbert Winters was a Reverend living in the town of Flatwoods. He was born and raised there and was the head of the Church for the town. When he witnessed the bombs fall he saw it as the end of the world and as he saw it, the Rapture. When he was not one of the taken he had a crisis of faith, and began to wander living day-to-day as he reflected on his own sins, until he saw a group of survivors eating a raw rat carcass behind a dumpster. He realized that he was not abandoned by God but left on earth because he was needed. He then dedicated his life to helping everyone he could, helping to set up a book club and nightly survivors guilt meetings. He provided lessons and knowledge to everyone he could and set up farms and pastures to help people survive though the apocalypse.
That is a fantastic story, that is well told, and has some deep emotions behind it. That is also a missable story told from a few terminal entries, a holo-tape and a note. The writers who made the fallout 4 questlines boring and uninspired are seemingly not present here. There is comedy, heartbreak, and passion poured into the stories of this wasteland. You have a full main story where you find out about the factions lost to time as they failed to band together to stop the plague taking over Appalachia, and you meet many characters along the way, and now with Wastelanders you have even more questlines that you can change the outcomes of, two factions to work with or against (factions from new vegas), full dialogue in the style of New Vegas (with speech checks galore for quests and conversations) and a whole new main story on top of the old one.
Community I have never met a nicer and friendlier community in any video game. Nobody is mean to each-other in game, nobody really attacks each-other, and I've joined up with people straight up excited to go meet the new players joining into the game, talk with them, give them advice and some starting equipment. People just enjoy doing that and being nice to other people like that, it’s really refreshing and kind of shocking. I’ve had times where I would just hang out and talk with people about how their lives are going and what they’ve been up to in game as the game works as a sort of social space on top of the game.
Mods You can actually mod the game. Yes it’s not to the same degree as you could with other Bethesda games, and things like the ability do add custom weapons or quests isn't there, but I typically run around 20 mods at once for the game. As long as it’s not a cheating mod, Bethesda are fine with it.
Monetization There’s no good transition to this, so let’s get it out of the way...this game has great monetization. There is NO Pay-to-win present in the game what-so-ever. The main arguments for this come from: Fallout 1st, Atom Shop items, and I’ll address all of these.
Fallout 1st is not that bad. You do not get unlimited storage as some people think, you get unlimited scrap storage meaning you can hold more wood and steel, not that you suddenly can hold everything with no limit you still run into that same limit as you had before, it’s just you don’t reach it as fast. You also get access to a tent to instantly get into your storage box, which is really only helpful in certain instances, you can always just go to any of the multiple train stations/player houses/ red rockets across the map to offload some legendaries you are carrying around, not to mention the perks that make it easier to carry more.
Atom shop items are almost entirely cosmetic. Note i said almost there right? That is because you can purchase a few items that allow you to instantly fix a weapon/armor or instantly put up your scrap. What nobody who complains about them tells you is this: You cannot purchase the improved versions of those from shops at all. That is impossible. You can only get them by completing in game events and cannot purchase them with money. You can however purchase the worse off ones with Atom. They are 50 atom a piece (50 cents) and have bundles to get more for less (15 for 500) however what nobody mentions is the game has daily, weekly, character, survival, combat, social and world challenges all of which net you more atom shop points. You can earn 70 atoms from dailies and 170 from weeklies, not to mention the thousands of other points you can get from the other challenges. Everything in the Atom shop you can purchase if you just do a little bit of grinding.
Conclusion Fallout 76 has a lot of stuff for a lot of players. Do you wanna grind for legendaries and levels to try builds? Go for it. Do you wanna be a repair guy who hoards scrap and helps other players fix up their items and mod them up? Go do it. Do you wanna just spend time making cool houses and showing them off? It’s got that. Do you want a full campaign to play with friends in a massive open world with tons to explore and learn about the world? It’s got you there too and in so many more ways.
The game has a lot to offer and it’s far more than most people seem to think. It’s still not a game for everyone, however I do think it’s warranted giving the game a proper shot to see if it’s for you as you could be surprised. One of my friends I told to play it ignored me for a full year before getting it and then he spent almost 200 hours on it in a single month. I’m not saying it’s a fantastic, polished, bug free, greatest game ever made, I'm just trying to say it’s a pretty good game that may surprise you, so give it a shot yourself.
I'm also willing to answer any questions you may have in the comments as I know I didn't quite go over everything with this post.