Clover

Five humans, missing...

Spoilers for all of Undertale Yellow's main routes below
Undertale Yellow is a fan-made prequel to the hit indie game Undertale. While Undertale follows the story of Frisk, the seventh human child to fall into the monster ruled Underground, Undertale Yellow follows the story of their immediate predecessor. Meet Clover, the sixth human. Unlike the humans that fell before, this gun-toting cowboy is unique in the sense that their journey to the Underground was no accident. Clover entered the Underground voluntarily in order to investigate the disappearances of the previous five humans and, if it turned out they perished at some point after their fall, hoped to avenge their deaths. See, while Frisk possessed a red SOUL that embodied Determination, Clover's SOUL is yellow for the trait of Justice. Clover's journey would lead them all throughout the Underground, meeting some monsters that will be familiar to those who have played Undertale and some brand new faces as well.
Like Undertale before it, Undertale Yellow's story can be altered significantly depending on the player's actions. Perhaps Clover befriends the monsters they meet and determines they were unfairly trapped underground, deciding to sacrifice themselves to bring monster kind closer to freedom. Or maybe Clover will blame the monsters for the deaths of the previous human children, avenging them with swift cruelty. Either way, Clover will act in the way they believe they can best embody Justice.

So How Do the Fights Work Anyway?

Like its predecessor, Undertale Yellow tends to treat RPG mechanics as literal aspects of the game's world. Due to the abstract nature of fights in both Undertale and Undertale Yellow, with enemy monsters targeting Clover's SOUL rather than their physical body, it's understandable that there may be some confusion about how Clover actually scales to certain monsters. Luckily, this is a bit more clear in Undertale Yellow than it was in the original game, as the reveal trailer shows that the attacks of monster are things that Clover physically has to react to and dodge (we even see this same attack utilized in game) even though the battle menu only shows their SOUL.
But this is just for when encounters have already begun, what about before that? And what triggers encounters anyway? There's an area in the Wild East where boulders are falling onto the path that Clover needs to dodge. If they fail to avoid them, this begins an encounter too, where Clover is given the opportunity to avoid the "attacks" in the battle menu to negate damage. Other examples include Clover escaping damage from hot steam after touching it and avoiding damage from Axis' energy balls after they hit them. What this means for standard versus fights is a little vague, but it likely means that any attack that would deal meaningful damage starts an encounter and that it would be impossible to simply kill Clover with a sneak attack. Even if it hit them, Clover would still get the opportunity to dodge before the proper fight begins. That said, there is one example of Clover dying without triggering an encounter at the end of the Neutral Route. It's possible this is because it was an unescapable situation but the mechanics of it are still vague and unclear.
As seen with the previous examples such as the falling boulders and steam, it seems that attacks that hit Clover's SOUL and their physical body are more or less interchangeable. Or rather, it isn't possible to circumvent the SOUL to only hit the physical body because even attacks that hit Clover's physical body will trigger an encounter that can then be dodged or endured by the SOUL.
Finally, it's worth noting that the sizes of objects can vary from their appearances in the battle to what they look like in the overworld. We see Clover's SOUL alongside their physical body a few times throughout the game and it's pretty consistently a little larger than their torso. So this thread will describe feats with that scale in mind.

Other Things To Note

• At the end of certain routes, Clover acquires certain abilities/powerups that don't necessarily apply to the rest of the game. Feats or items that are limited to those routes will be marked with the corresponding route.
  
  • [Pacifist] Feat
• Like your standard RPG's, Undertale Yellow possesses a leveling system that will increase the more enemies that Clover kills, with certain abilities being unlocked after certain levels are achieved. However, in the Genocide route Clover showed off the ability to level up rapidly simply by being filled with enough righteous fury. Abilities that are locked behind certain levels will also be marked accordingly.
  
  • Feat^{LV 19}
• The majority of feats will come from Undertale Yellow, but occasionally clips from trailers and other promotional material on the director of the game's Youtube channel will be used, which will be labeled with a T like so:
  
  • Feat^T

Physicals

Strength

• Breaks a piece of wood that had jammed an elevator door with a pickaxe, which broke the pickaxe despite it being described as sturdy previously
• Pushes aside a cabinet
• While physically holding the lid of a trash can Clover is able to deflect Axis' energy attacks back at him which destroyed portable generators about as tall as Axis himself
  • Clover also uses this lid to deflect Axis' bombs
• [Anti-Feat] Needs Martlet's help moving a table

Speed/Agility

• Runs roughly 2/3rds faster than they walk, traveling the same distance in 1.5 seconds that it took them 2.5 seconds to walk
• Climbs a good distance up a rope, though Flowey resets the timeline before they reach the top
• While fighting Decibat they react and move relatively to various attacks that appear to be sound-based
  • Note that blue attacks don't harm you if you're standing still and orange attacks don't if you're moving
• Passes over a bridge when the boards were constantly elevating and lowering
• Moves out of the way of Dunebud's arrows
  • We see in the game's reveal trailer that these arrows move much faster than their in-game counterparts would suggest
• Avoids the soundwaves produced by Starlo's bell attack
• Escapes Axis during their chase
• Jukes the hell out of Axis
• Moves relatively to the arrows and flintlock pistol shots of a pair of mini robots
• Climbs a laundry chute

Durability
Blunt

• A tumbleweed knocks them onto a lower platform and they don't even flinch
• Even while using the Patch, Clover's starting accessory that offers no extra defense, Clover can withstand several giant boulders smashing into them
  • While using the Steel Buckle or superior defensive items, this damage is totally negligible
• Takes several blows from Ed that launch massive boulders into the air
• Withstands the Guardener's attacks which could smash giant gears that are larger than Clover
• [Genocide] Gets hit by large meteors summoned by Zenith Martlet

Falling

• Jumps down a hole into the Underground and lands on a bed of flowers
• Falls through the floor of the Ruins and lands in a bed of flowers in the Dark Ruins, quickly jumping to their feet afterwards
• Crashes a speeding boat over a ledge, sending them over and into the mines
  • Flowey did comment they seemed pretty hurt by this
• Falls down a trap door

Heat

• Survives in the Steamworks with no issue, which was hot enough to light Moe's clothes and stand on fire over the course of their conversation
• Withstands multiple fire attacks from Asgore before eventually succumbing to them (with Asgore being the strongest non-final boss monster in the original Undertale)

Other

• Gets shocked repeatedly by Dalv's electrical attacks, enduring four before eventually succumbing
• A giant fan produces a sandstorm that pushes them back a considerable distance
• Gets hit by dynamite thrown by Starlo
• Survives multiple shots from Starlo's revolver
• Withstands hits from Axis' energy balls which later destroy Axis' portal generators
  • During Axis' boss fight, Clover takes no damage from this at all
• With the highest defensive accessory they take negligible damage from Ceroba's attacks which shatter stone pillars (they also take a glancing blow from these attacks in a cutscene without damage, though it takes them some time to return to their feet)
  • [Pacifist] Clover later withstands Ceroba's attacks after she had powered up into her Kitsune form, which dealt double damage compared to her previous attacks (2HP with the best defensive item instead of 1HP)
• [Pacifist] Endures for a little over a minute after their soul had been extracted from their body (though they were too weak to do anything but crawl)
• [Genocide] Gets crushed by blocks with enough force to shatter them which are not affected by their SOUL's energy beams
• [Genocide] Here is the top of UG Apartments before Clover's battle with Zenith Martlet compared to after, which assuming Martlet's attacks were responsible for any of this damage means that Clover would scale to it
• [Genocide] Clover grows so powerful that Asgore's trident shatters against their SOUL^{LV 20}

Skill

• Shoots a hat off a dummy
• Beats Starlo in a quickdraw contest
• After being fully lasso'd by Starlo, Clover is still able to effectively avoid his attacks and even tricks him into shooting his own lasso twice
  • Starlo is accurate enough to shoot sticks of dynamite out of the air
  • Clover is still able to fight back as well
• Can shoot something as small as a micro froggit
• Opens a door by shooting its control panel
• Plays a mean harmonica^T
• Holy shit they're so sick with it^T

Justice SOUL

• Flowey talks about how Boss Monsters are stronger than others and that a human SOUL is even more powerful than them
• [Pacifist] During the final boss, Clover is powered up and given a plethora of different abilities (the reason for this isn't explicitly stated, but it's likely because they felt their cause was just, more so than they ever had in the rest of the game)^{LV 1}
  • [Pacifist] Endures repeated enraged attacks from Ceroba that should have killed them before returning to full HP as the next phase of the boss starts^{LV 1}
  • [Pacifist] Can fire energy blasts from their SOUL which are strong enough to overpower Ceroba's own charged blasts^{LV 1}
    • They can quickly fire smaller shots on top of the more powerful charge shots^{LV 1}
    • A weaker version of Ceroba's attacks could shatter stone pillars^{LV 1}
  • [Pacifist] Is able to phase through attacks, including otherwise unavoidable AOE attacks^{LV 1}
  • [Pacifist] Clover is able to Hope, allowing them to take an extra hit without damage^{LV 1}
  • [Pacifist] Clover is able to Endure, regenerating health from a range of 5HP to 10HP^{LV 1}
  • [Pacifist] Clover is able to Remember, granting them a speed buff over the course of that turn^{LV 1}
  • [Pacifist] After cracking Ceroba's Kitsune mask, Clover is able to see a memory of her past talking to her dying husband^{LV 1}
• [Genocide] After hearing that Axis, the penultimate boss, killed a human child, Clover is filled with such rage and a desire for justice that they automatically leveled up and developed the ability to shoot energy blasts from their SOUL. The first blast obliterated the trash can lid Axis was using as a shield and after further leveling up they fired a massive beam that obliterated Axis entirely. Clover also gained an assortment of other abilities at this point^{LV 15/19}
  • [Genocide] Smaller shots can be rapid fired and a brief charge allows Clover to fire the beam^{LV 19}
    • [Genocide] It required two small shots to destroy the meteors Zenith Martlet summons and they're completely obliterated by the beam^{LV 19}
    • [Genocide] With enough shots Clover destroys Martlet's armor that their gun was completely useless against (based on the fact that the Fight button is locked during the phase of the fight that she's wearing the armor)^{LV 19}
    • [Genocide] Clover's beam is strong enough to completely obliterate Asgore as well as his throne and the wall behind him^{LV 20}
  • [Genocide] Like in the Pacifist ending, Clover is able to dash which smashes blocks that their shots and beams couldn't break and allows them to phase through otherwise unavoidable attacks without damage^{LV 19}
  • [Genocide] After destroying Martlet's armor, Clover is able to see into mind and witness her backstory^{LV 19}
  • [Genocide] Clover is able to Endure, automatically recovering anywhere from 20HP to 25HP^{LV 19}
  • [Genocide] Here is the top of UG Apartments before Clover's battle with Zenith Martlet compared to after, with Clover presumably being responsible for at least some of the damage^{LV 19}
• [Genocide] Throughout the game, Clover is able to undo mistakes thanks to the SAVE function. Primarily, this is thanks to Flowey doing so for you, becoming an in-universe stand-in for standard RPG Saving and Loading and ultimately allowing them to revive at the latest SAVE point for standard enemies or directly back into the battle for Boss encounters. However, at the end of the Genocide route Clover levels up enough to steal Flowey's control of the timeline, ultimately taking the SAVE ability for themselves which they can use to SAVE and LOAD in the middle of battle^{LV 20}

Gear

Note that while Clover can store excess items in boxes they find around the Underground, they can only carry eight items in their inventory not including their current Weapon, Ammo, Armor, and Accessory. Later in the game they discovered the Dimensional Satchel which allows them to access the boxes from anywhere, but they still only have eight slots to bring into an encounter.
Weapons
Guns

• Toy Gun - Clover's default weapon is a simple toy gun
• Wild Revolver - A gift from Starlo, purchased from Blackjack's shop
  • While the Toy Gun only fires once per turn, the Wild Revolver is fired six times in a row
  • While the Wild Revolver looks and functions like a typical revolver, note that Blackjack does say that he made it so as not to be lethal (though the following line about how anything could be lethal if used enough times consecutively makes this seem more like a meta joke about RPG fight mechanics, even going so far as to mention the ballet shoes that are a weapon in the original Undertale)

Feats
Note that cutscenes will always play out the same regardless of whether the Toy Gun or Wild Revolver is being used, so while the Revolver is obviously the more powerful of the two the Toy Gun is much more powerful than it's name would suggest and the following feats apply to both weapons.

• Damages machinery
• Critically damages Axis who could withstand his own energy balls being reflected back at him with no physical damage, merely draining his power instead
  • After being rebounded Axis' attacks destroyed portable generators as tall as Axis himself
• Destroys robots with repeated shots
• Executes undamaged monsters in cutscenes/scripted fights in both the Pacifist and Genocide routes
• [Anti-Feat] Was unable to destroy the trash can lid Axis was using as a shield

Ammo
Rather amusingly, Clover will jam whatever odd materials they can find into their weapon which somehow works perfectly^T

• Rubber Ammo (AT 0) - The default ammo that Clover started their journey with
  • Toy Gun Wild Revolver
• Pebble Ammo (AT 3) - Small rocks that Clover discovered in the Dark Ruins
  • Toy Gun Wild Revolver
• Ice Ammo (AT 6) - Discovered near the start of Snowdin, these fragments of a shattered ice crystal don't melt and cool Clover's gun upon being loaded
  • Toy Gun Wild Revolver
• Coffee Ammo (AT 4 + 1 SPEED after perfect attack) - Found in a barrel near the exit of Snowdin
  • Toy Gun Wild Revolver
  • Compare the increased speed to Clover's normal battle speed
• Flint Ammo (AT 9) - Salvaged from an ore deposit outside the East Mines
  • Toy Gun Wild Revolver
    • Note that the shots make small explosions upon impact
• Glass Ammo (AT 5 + 2HP) - Taken from a shattered glass in the Dunes Gift Shop
  • Toy Gun Wild Revolver
• Silver Ammo (AT 3 + Bonus Damage for Perfect Shot) - Purchased from Blackjack's shop
  • Toy Gun Wild Revolver
• Nails (AT 10) - Found in a box in the Steamworks greenhouse
  • Toy Gun Wild Revolver
• [Neutral/Genocide] Friendliness Pellets (AT 11) - A gift from Flowey, acquired outside of the Steamworks
  • Toy Gun Wild Revolver

Armor

• Warn Hat - The default armor that Clover started their journey with
• [Pacifist/Neutral] Nice Hat - Visually identical to Clover's old one and offers no extra defense or benefits, but it is a pretty nice hat

Accessories

• Patch (Armor DF 0) - The default accessory that Clover started their journey with
• Feather (Armor DF 2) - A stray feather located in the tunnels near Dalv's house
• Honeydew Pin (Armor DF 4) - Purchased at the Honeydew Resort shop
• Band Merch Pin (Armor DF 5) - A pin given to Clover by a band's super fan in Honeydew Resort
• Steel Buckle (Armor DF 7) - Found inside a cubby in the East Mines
• Safety Jacket (Armor DF 6) - Found on a hook in the East Mines
• Fancy Holster (Armor DF 8) - Purchased from Blackjack's shop
• Safety Goggles (Armor DF 9) - Acquired from Vendy in the Steamworks
• Silver Scarf (Armor DF 6 and +2HP Every Turn) - Given to Clover by Slurpy in Snowdin after freeing his tongue from a frozen pole
  • Here is the scarf in use
• Delta Run Patch (Armor DF 10) - Purchased from Bits and Bites at UG Apartments
• Golden Bandana (Armor DF 12) - Found in a chest in the Steamworks
  • This did come at the cost of sacrificing the Golden Pear, Golden Coffee, and Golden Cactus

Food/Healing Items
Note that at their weakest (LV 1), Clover has 20HP and at their strongest (LV20), Clover has 100HP
Single Use

• Lemonade - 7HP
• Lukewarm Pop - 8HP
• Candy Corn - 9HP
• Packing Peanuts - 10HP
• Sea Tea - 10HP (+ Temporary Speed Increase)
  • Here is the Sea Tea in use
• Monster Candy - 10HP
• Corn Dog - 12HP
• Cold Pop - 12 HP
• Sponge Cake - 14HP
• Hot Pop -14 HP
• Trail Mix - 14HP
• Corn Chowder - 15HP
• Moss Salad - 17HP
• Ice Tea - 20HP
• Green Tea - 21HP
• Flower Stew - 20HP
• Hot Dog - 20HP
• Fruitcake -25HP
• [Pacifist/Genocide] Adult Soda - ???HP
  • It's actually 20HP
• [Genocide] Oasis Latte - 25HP
• [Neutral] Cake - 30HP
• [Genocide] Cinnamon Cookie - 35HP
• Golden Pear - Invulnerability for two hits
  • Here is the G. Pear in use
• Golden Coffee - Increases Clover's speed for 3 turns
  • Here is the G. Coffee in use (also note that this buff carries on to future encounters if the three turns aren't used)
• Golden Cactus - 15HP for 3 turns (Lose 5HP after first bite)

Two Uses

• Grassy Fries - 14HP
• Beef Jerky - 16HP

Unlimited Supply

• Spider Donut - 12HP
• Popato Chisps - 13HP
• Honeydew Coffee - 14HP
• Honeydew Pancake - 16HP
• Ice Water - 15HP
• Monster Candy+ - 15HP
• Root Beer - 18HP
• G.B. Bear - 20HP
• Dihydrogen Monoxide - 20HP
• Feisty Slider - 30HP
• Gravity Granola - 30HP
• Cinnamon Butterscotch Strudel - 30HP
• Floral Cupcake - 50HP
• Gun Powder - ???HP
  • Completely maxes out Clover's HP
  • Note that Clover can only acquire one of these on the Genocide Route

Misc

• Solves Martlet's extremely complicated lava rock puzzle
• Beats the infamous Shuffler gang at their own game
• Uses flint and a steel buckle to burn a thick stick that was jamming an elevator
• Keeps up with El Bailador during their dance off, who was out of breath after the fact
• [Pacifist/Neutral] The Doc in the Wild East can overcharge Clover's health with a one time extra 15HP (nearly double their health at LV 1)
• Stealthily creeps around the Steamworks factory, figuring out a passcode while staying out of Axis' view
• Clover has incredible willpower, since even after Flowey kills them and attempts to absorb their SOUL, Clover is able to resist him for the entirety of the ensuing boss fight which ends when Flowey realizes they'd be fighting for all eternity if they continued and opts to simply reset the timeline instead
• Breaks it down

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Let me share my 3000h of modded wisdom with you, my fellow vanilla comrades. My attempt here is to provide you with as many as possible improvements to the base game while keeping the style, balance, and content as vanilla as possible. As they say, when it works the best is when you don't realize it is there. I guarantee you that after playing for a while with these, you will no longer be able to tell what's from the base game and what's not.
You don't know how to mod? Maybe this very basic guide will help. Please, note that many mods come with options to tune up your experience. It is recommended you give them a look.
You can find the steam collection here. Be aware that some of these mods require the DLCs. You don't have the DLCs? Just don't use the mod.
Dependencies:

• Harmony + Huglibs. Required by so many mods, you may as well be done with it and always have them.
• Vanilla Expanded Framework. While not as radically necessary as the previous ones, it's still a dependency fairly common. And this one actually does cool things on its own, like loading new modded factions without having to start a new game.
• XML Extensions. You won't be able to access the options of some mods without this.

Performance

• Dub performance analyzer. Enable the optimizations and override options, you can ignore everything else. If you want to disable alerts, use rocketman.
• Rocketman. By default, it should be good enough. This mod also allows to disable alerts you may don't care about, like, dunno, tattered apparel or unhappy nudity. It is recommended to run adaptive move occasionally (in stat cache settings).
• Performance Optimizer. More hacker magic. If you don't like the UI changes, you can disable them in the options. This mod does more performance stuff aside from that, so use it anyway!
• Performance Fish. You will have to install this mod manually, since it's not available in the workshop. You will also need to install its dependencies, Fishery and Prepatcher. Please, be aware that at the present there's an issue in which linking storages crashes the game. However, this can be prevented by disabling "TryFindBestBetterStoreCellFor" in the options.

Minor changes

• Optimization Meats. Unless you really want dozens of different meat types for some weird role-play reason, this mod will reduce the bloat on your kitchens.
• Better Animal Tab
• Better Info Card
• Conduit Deconstruct. A button to exclusively dismantle power conduits.
• Disable Automatically Select Travel Supplies
• Improved Need Indicator
• Map Preview. You can reroll as well!
• Prepare Landing. You can search world tiles matching your conditions. Goes great with Map Preview.
• Medical Tab. An easy way to overview your colony health.
• More Harvest Designators! e.g. harvest only fully growth plants.
• ModDiff. Great improvement of the mod mismatch screen.
• Pharmacist Temporary Update. Instead of always using the best medicine, now your pawns can use the appropriate medicine for the situation. No longer will they spent glitterworld meds on scratches!
• Smart Turret Covering. Fixes an issue with turret covers.
• PawnTargetFix. So that the autotarget prioritizes the closest enemy.
• Poisoned Food Stack Fix (Fix). Fixes an issue with meal stacks.
• Priority Treatment Ressurected. Doctors will finally prioritize keeping your pawns alive over taking a nap. Disable the option that prevents injured pawns from performing surgery, it has issues.
• QualityBuilder. You can set up a target level for furniture, and your pawns will reconstruct it until it's achieved. If I remember correctly, it's enabled by default for all new furniture? You can turn that off in options.
• RPG Style Inventory Revamped. Much better looking inventory.
• Replace Stuff. Allows to directly replace buildings, without having to deconstruct first.
• Research Tree. A better research tree.
• RimHUD. The best mod of the whole list, it will save you A TON of clicks.
• RimSaves. Overhaul of the save menu.
• Show Known Techprints on the trade screen.
• Show mechanoid weapons on the info screen.
• Smarter Construction. No more babysitting pawns when building walls.
• Stack gap. By default, pawns constantly refill storages. With this mod, you can configure it so that storages are refiled only when they're empty.
• Sun Lamp Honesty. Fixes an issue with sun lamps
• Just Put It Over There. Traders will deliver the merchandise, instead of dropping it on the ground.
• Trade Ships Drop Spot. Mark the spot in which orbital traders will deliver the merchandise, instead on whenever they feel like it. Doesn't work inside animal pens.
• Trading Options. Configure how frequent you want the traders to be.
• WVC. More work modes for the mechanitor.
• Save Settings. Allows you to save and load storage, production, and clothes settings. Works cross-save!
• No Max Bills. Removes the bill cap on workbenches.
• Better ground-penetrating scanner
• Colored deep resources
• Common Sense. Feel free to configure however you like it. I prefer it like this.
• Dubs Mint Menus. Improvements to a bunch of menus.
• Better Pawn Control. Improved management policies.
• Animals Logic. A lot of useful animal-related improvements. Disable the meat option if you're using Optimization Meats.
• Non uno Pinata. Pawns don't drop items when downed. Configurable.
• Bulk Smelting will save you precious time.
• Stonecutting Extended. The same as the previous mod, but for stones.
• Electric Stonecutting Table. To speed up the stonecutting even more.
• Faster Smoothing, a must for all mountain/underground out there.
• Do Your F****** Research. You can order pawns to research.
• Go the Fork to Sleep. You can order pawns to sleep.
• Meal Radius. Configure how far pawns will search for a table to eat.
• Home radius. Configure the size of the automatic home area.
• Smarter Visitors. Visitors will leave if things get dangerous.
• Custom Guilt Duration. Executions in vanilla are a pain because the guilty status goes away too fast. Now you can configure it.
• Dress Patients. Allows dressing of downed pawns.
• Way Better Romance
• Hunters Use Melee
• Injured Carry. Allows to rescue not downed pawns, no longer you have to wait for the bleeding to down them.
• Not My Fault. The player is no longer responsible for unrelated deaths on the map.
• Deep Storage + Simple Storage. Improves stockpile management.
• Pick Up And Haul. Improved hauling.
• While You're Up. Complement for the previous mod. Keep in mind that these two mods will trivialize part of the challenge by freeing a lot of time from your colonists. Just, dunno, turn up the difficulty a notch or something.
• Trading Spot. Marks where you want traders to stop on your map. It's a must if you use a desired path mod (I don't know if they have been updated to 1.5 yet).
• Vanilla Base Generation Expanded. Improved NPC base generation.
• Cut plants before building
• Psychic Harmonizer Lag Fix
• Fellow Ideology players, you're welcome.
  • Style Change Anytime
  • Persistent Precepts

Major changes

• Dubs Bad Hygiene. Plumbing!
• Vanilla Temperature Expanded. Lot of useful temperature-related buildings, as well as proxy heat, a very cool mechanic. Some buildings are redundant with the previous mod, just don't research the ones that you don't want.
• Death Rattle + Biosculpter Patch + Life Support. Changes the behavior of mortal wounds so they're not instakills.
• Dynamic Flooding. Inundations!
• Some Things Float. I recommend disabling the chance of pawns loosing their footing.
• Layered Wall Destruction. Walls aren't just destroyed, they become debris. Note that there's an issue in which the debris will spawn home areas.
• Yayo's Combat. Combat overhaul. You can disable the ammunition system if it's not your thing.
• Character Editor. Allows you to edit and save/load pawns.
• RunAndGun. Allows to use guns while moving, with penalties to accuracy. Don't enable the dual wield or search and destroy modules, they won't work.
• EPOE Forked. Fills in the gaps of surgery content in the base game. I recommend disabling the additional workstations and enabling direct crafting only. Less micromanagement, more fun.

Balance

• Beautiful Jade
• Almostthere1.5. Caravans no longer go to sleep two hours away from their destination.
• Stepping Stones. A more reasonable research path.
• Dubs Break Mod makes it so that severe mental breaks require severe negative thoughts.
• Fists Aren't Made of Steel. Reduces the unarmed melee damage, making prison breaks and tantrums much less frustrating.
• No Burn Metal. Sets the flammability of metal buildings, and others, to zero.
• Prisoners Fear Turrets
• Realistic Rooms Rewritten. Allows to tweak how pawns perceive room sizes.
• Ugh You Got Me. Social fights stop when pawns are sufficiently hurt or in pain. Doesn't affect masochists or psychopaths.
• Better Pyromania. Way less frustrating.
• Mortar Accuracy. Improves mortar mechanics.
• Graze up. Grazing rebalanced.
• Better Camp Loot
• Snap Out! Wardens can try to calm down pawns on mental breaks. "Try" is the keyword here.
• Peer Pressure. Opinions matter when converting someone.
• Better Gene Inheritance
• Vanilla Genes Rebalanced
• Gene Trader. Getting xenogenes it's hard, this should easy the burden a bit.

Content

• Sparkling Worlds. A bit of everything.
• Vanilla Traits Expanded. More traits.
• Vanilla Backstories Expanded. More backstories.
• Vanilla Chemfuel Expanded. Rimefeller but with less bloat.
• Vegetable Garden. More farmable plants.
• Vanilla Persona Weapons Expanded + More Persona Traits. More persona weapon variety.
• More Ideological Words + More Religious Origins. More ideology variety
• Events
  • Factional War
  • Raid Extension
  • Go Explore!
  • Vanilla Events Expanded
• Buildings
  • Blooming hedges
  • Panels & Frames
  • Simply More Bridges
  • Thrones plus
  • Tribal Crib
  • Utility Columns
  • Medieval deathrest coffin
  • Metallic Batteries. You can ignore the error, it'll work anyway.
  • Reinforced Walls
  • ReSplice: Core
• Gear
  • Crowns and Regalia
  • Fallout New Vegas - Elite Riot Gear
  • Maid Outfits :3
  • Wheelchairs

Atmospheric changes

• Interaction Bubbles + SpeakUp. Better social interactions.
• Enemy Self Preservation. Enemies severely hurt may try to flee.
• No One Left Behind. Fleeing enemies try to rescue their downed allies.
• Memorable Auroras. They now have a meaningful -if still small- impact.
• Sand Castles. The snowmen of the beaches. Or the deserts.
• Sandstorms
• Graying Hair. So that hair goes gray gradually with age.
• Childrens Drawings
• ReGrowth. Overhaul of biomes and much more!
• My Little Planet. If you're tired of supercontinents, but still want a smaller board, set planet coverage to 100%, and use the new planet size slider instead.
• Geological Landforms. New map shapes.
• Biome Transitions. More organic border biomes.
• Death Acidifiest. Vanilla death acidifier is lame, this is much cooler.
• Graphics
  • Yayo's Animation
  • Trait and Backstory Icons
  • Vanilla Ideology Expanded - Icons and Symbols
  • Vanilla Ideology Expanded - Relics and Artifacts
  • Vanilla Races Expanded - Custom Icons
  • Bionic icons
  • Spectacular Skullspike. They're rotable now!
  • Muzzle Flash
  • More Mini-Horns
  • Better Explosions
  • Better Vanilla Masking
  • Graphic Chair Overhaul 2
  • Not Overhead Meal
  • Graphics Settings+
  • Show Hair With Hats or Hide All Hats. This one takes a while to set up to your preferences, but oh it's so worth it.
  • Cuter Biotech Cat/Dog Ear Replacer. If you don't like the meat-colored animal ears from Biotech, this is for you!
  • Blood Animations
  • Gunplay. Trails can break some mods. If that happens, disable trails in options.
• Retextures
  • Parka Retexture
  • Retextured Apparel
  • Retextured Sculptures
  • Vanilla Beards Retextured
  • Vanilla Hair Retextured
  • Vanilla Pawns Retextured
  • Marbled Marble
  • Essentials: Stone (the stat changes won't work)
  • Vanilla Textures Expanded - Variations
  • Vanilla Textures Expanded
  • I Hate Daylilies
  • Biotech Mechanoid Retexture
  • Tastier Vanilla Clothes
  • Van's Steel
  • Glowing Healroot
  • More Vanilla Textures
• Audio
  • Ambient Rim
  • Realistic Human Sounds. Not very vanilla, but certainly very funny.
  • Actually Vanilla Music Expansion
  • P-Music
• Hairs
  • Erin's Hairstyles
  • Hard Times
  • Rimsenal Hair + Retextured
  • Roo's Hairstyles
  • Roo's Royalty Hairstyles
  • The Vanity Project
  • Won hair_men + Retextured
  • Won hair_women + Retextured

Bonus: comics! And the occasional animation. I noticed newbies aren't aware of these, so I linked the profiles of all the artists I could remember. Sorry if I missed someone. u/daleksdeservevictory, u/AzulCrescent, u/AetherealVanguard, u/ATTF , u/Aelanna , srgrafo, u/Fonzawa, u/Ivancmedia, u/zyll3, u/meto30, u/AeolysScribbles, u/cavalier753, u/GABESTFY, u/VectorData, u/arxian, u/Nguyenanh2132, u/sorrowful_dance, u/meto30, u/-desdinova-, u/truffli

I'm not sure what I'm looking for, I guess just wanted to write out what I'd been feeling and put it somewhere. I'm using a burner account, and no real names, I just needed to vent this somewhere
I dated my ex (I won't bother with names) for 4 years, and broke things off last summer. Like all relationships it was complicated, but now - nine months later - I still have no idea if I did the right thing, and am left feeling rudderless and adrift.
I'm 41, she's 32 - we met online four-ish years ago, immediately hit it off and started seeing each other 3-4 times a week. We started dating in Jan 2020 ... two months later, covid hit, and our entire state was essentially locked down. We went from dating to basically living together after two months - which, at the time, was great with me .. we were in love, and things seemed great. My parents split up when I was 19. In my 20's and early 30's, I'd made some bad choices with romantic partners - and chased after people who were emotionally unavailable, fundamentally. It took many years of therapy and introspection, but I had been actively making and effort to only date people I saw a real future with.
She (at 28) had never really dated anyone before. She explained she had some very severe trauma as a child, and coupled with abusive parents, she had never put herself out there really, and had focused on work, and fitness, and school. Her father had cheated on her mother when she was a child, and she knew about it (from a very young age). I heard all this, and tried to be as empathic and understanding and reassuring as I could -> after all, it wasn't anything she had done, and I thought she was a badass for overcoming that kind of abuse. We hit it off straight away, and seemed to have tons in common, and those first few months together were incredible. She still lived at home, with her parents - and for the duration of our relationship never moved out, or found her own space.
Things started to get strange when one day, I liked a female friend's post on Instagram ... this was someone I'd known for 5-6 years, and I was friends with long before I knew my gf. In retrospect, my friend's post was a bit thirsty .. your classic "I'm powerful, self possessed" look-at-me photos that showed a bit too much skin - and I should have just kept browsing, but I tapped 'like' (one of probably 20 posts I liked that day from all kinds of different friend) and moved on.
A few hours later, my gf called me, furious, and accused me of using her 'as a place holder' because - in her mind - I obviously REALLY wanted to be with this other friend of mine, and was using her. This came completely out of left field to me, and we had a 2-hour phone argument where I apologized, told her I'd remove the 'like', whatever she wanted. She kept circling back again and again that it was "totally normal" to go through a partners friend list / liked posts because "anyone can see them, they're public". We went back and forth, I was frantic and after we got off the phone, I went through my Instagram and basically purged any attractive female friend I had, and removed any likes I had to any post that might be weird or suspect. From them on I rarely used social media at all - but every few months my ex would find a new friend on my social media she didn't like, or suspected - even after I stopped interacting with social media at all.
This same sort of low-level suspicion persisted throughout our relationship. If I was looking at my phone, she wanted to know what I was reading, who I was talking to, etc. I have never cheated on a partner in my life, in fact I had been cheated on twice - so the sort of dull, constant suspicion really upset me - and after a while it almost felt like she was trying to manifest / discover some kind of secret infidelity. The tragic part is that we got along great otherwise, she loved my (male) friends, loved my family, and we had a relaxed and loving relationship besides occasional flare ups. But the suspicion never went away, or changed - and this sort of underlying insecurity was a constant background white noise of our relationship. She especially took a disliking to my roommates girlfriend, and made it a point to always talk about how much she disliked her, how they weren't going to last - etc (I can't say I blame her, the girl in question was not awesome .. but I never understood why his g/f should have such an outsized effect on our relationship). Despite all this, I thought she was an a kind, empathic, intelligent woman - and I saw a life with her, I saw starting a family with her - as real possiblities.
She grew very attached to my family, which also started to make me wonder what was going on. Many times, first thing in the morning, before coffee or anything else, she'd ask me "how's your mom? how's your dad?" - and would always want to know if she was 'still their favorite'. The first few times I thought it was charming - but it kept going on, to the point I had to push back and ask her "hey, please stop asking me first thing in the morning about the status of my family" ... for reference, I lived on the opposite side of the country from them, and would only get to see them for the holidays (which she was always invited to). I had a very challenging period of my life with my family, from 15-30 my family was fractured, my parents split up, it was messy ... but through years of effort, and time and patience forgiveness, I had built strong, loving relationships with both my parents individually, and my siblings besides. I sometimes got the sense that she even loved my family more than me, and that I was - weirdly - almost an obstacle between her and them. I told her as much, that sometimes I almost was jealous of how much she loved them, and wished that she could point that in my direction sometimes - knowing that they would be part of the package. She never did that same work with her own family - who were deeply dysfunctional, combative and sometimes outright hostile to one another. As crazy as it sounds, I often felt like she was almost trying to reap the rewards of the many years of hard work I had done - without an appreciation for how hard it had been to build new, adult relationships with my parents.
After a year and a half she found a new job, in a new industry, at a high profile company - and for the first six months she was there, she seemed to be able to manage the stress. I asked her if she wanted to maybe find a place together, to move in together for real ... but she kind of brushed it off. I would ask her again every few months, and would be met with the same sort of half-maybe-sorta-we'll-see ...
She suffered a major concussion two years into our relationship, which is when things really started to change. She never went to therapy, or saw a doctor to get treated ... and as the months went by, she became obsessed, almost addicted, to her job. It was all-consuming for her, and occupied all her thought and effort and time ... our relationship became an afterthought, and would mostly be relegated to her staying over (because my apt was closer to her office than her parent's house) - then me cooking her breakfast and seeing her off in the morning - and getting take out when she got back at night. She became more and more locked into her job, and our relationship became more and more platonic and less and less romantic / sexual... which is not uncommon when people are stressed out, or exhausted - but we couldn't seem to find time or space to fix what was happening. We talked, and communicated - but her reaction to stress was to go inside herself, and cut the world off -> and my stress reaction has often been the same.
We grew more and more distant over the next year, I also got a new job that ate up a ton of my time, so we would only see each other for an hour or two in the evenings, or on the weekends when we were up for it. I have a habit of pushing the people I care about away when I am not doing well emotionally .. it's the biggest recurring issue I've had in my life. I've been to therapy for it, and have ways to manage stress including meditation, exercise and a healthy diet - all of which allow me to function. But as the months went by, I got more and more stressed out as we became more distant - and I started to fall apart, and started to feel more and more alone and isolated. I'm sure I could have been better, or more attentive, or more patient ... and I in no way want to trying to pin any blame on her. After all, I'm just 1/2 of the relationship, and 1/2 of the story. After not seeing each other for a few weeks, I had to go out of town for a week for my job - to deal with a long and stressful convention ... and when I came back, we didn't see each other for another week.
I wanted her to come see me, but couldn't come out and say it ... I wanted her to intuit my needs, which she OF COURSE was not able to do. She wanted me to tell her I desperately wanted to see her, which she couldn't articulate because she wanted ME to intuit her needs ... and round and round it went. Lack of communication.
We did see each other eventually, what started as a small disagreement blew up. It started after my ex starting talking about my roommate's girlfriend, or she said something nasty about her. I was upset because we hadn't seen each other in weeks, why would this girl be the first thing on her mind? What about us? I totally overreacted and pushed her away - it was a long and stupid argument, where we both ended up dredging up things from months and years before .. we broke up, she left. In my self-righteous indignation, I felt justified in the moment ... but as the hours passed, and days passed, I was miserable and knew I had made a horrible mistake. My friends at the time told me I'd done the right thing, and that we had long standing issues that I had been mentioning throughout our relationship ... she liked her well enough, but wanted me to be happy, and told me that I had, ultimately, done what I thought was right at the time - and not to doubt myself. But I did, I got fully stuck in my head about it - and was desperate (yes, the D word) to try again.
Over the next few weeks she totally ignored me, wouldn't respond to my calls, or messages. I didn't expect her to - but I practically begged her to give it another chance with me. But she had totally shut down, and in her (later) words "she was never going to speak to me again." She did, eventually, after a few weeks, respond to me. We talked, I apologized, tried to explain that she was the world to me, and I knew I had made a massive mistake, and desperately wanted a chance to try again - to make things right.
She agreed, eventually. We met up for dinner, and slowly talked things out - I was still honestly pretty upset, but we kept seeing each other, started making it a point to go on dates, to get to know each other again. She believed I had cheated on her, that I had met another woman and that this had all been a pretext ... I caught her going through my phone after I got out of the shower. There was nothing to find, but I couldn't believe that she still, after years together, suspected I had been unfaithful to her. But that was just a bump in the road, we talked it out. Things seemed to be getting better. We shared an amazing thanksgiving together, and I genuinely felt like we had turned a corner and were as close as we had ever been ... so did she.
The next Monday, at work, she got another concussion - worse than the first. From this point on, her entire personality shifted ... Which I have learned, in the months that followed, is just something that can happen with head trauma. She didn't want to spend time together nearly as much, she fully retreated into herself, and her family. She wouldn't come visit at all anymore - even if I was willing to pick her up / drop her off ... she would only agree to meet for platonic dinners at a halfway point between our houses. She started seeing a doctor, a neurologist, doing PT work ... but she just kept seeming to get further and further away. If I invited her over, she was always want to know if my roomate's g/f "might" be there, or if we'd be alone ... and if there was even a chance this girl would be there (even though we could spend time in my room, or in the common living room without interference) - my ex would just stay home.
Six or seven months of this went by ... we kept sort of drifting apart, and it seemed like no matter how much I tried to communicate, or bridge the divide between us (which, to be honest, it felt like I was doing 3/4 of the work to keep this thing going) - we just kept drifting. After her second concussion, we stopped being intimate all together ... she was still convinced I had been with other women while we were apart, and demanded I get tested for STDs for her to trust me again. I let my pride get in the way, and should just have done it - but I had not been with or dated anyone else in the few weeks we were apart, and I couldn't get over that she still wouldn't trust me at my word.. after almost 4 years together, I still had to prove myself.
But I didn't, I was stubborn and dug my heels in - so our last potential shot at intimacy evaporated. We became basically platonic buddies ... we still loved each other, said we loved on another every day - but I always felt like I was chasing her, hoping for some kind of emotional connection or breakthrough or common ground that never manifested. By the time July rolled around, I was a total mess ... I felt completely alone, isolated, and like the person I knew and loved had drifted off, and there wasn't a way to get her back. For two months I said that I was really struggling, I was feeling really disconnected and that I missed her all the time - that I wanted to get back to baseline but didn't know how, and that I wanted her help or guidance. She said she felt like she was gradually getting back to where she started, but had no clear picture of how long that might take, and couldn't give me any kind of definitive answer if things would get better again - or how things might get better again.
It never happened. With another month-long work event looming on the horizon, and my stress levels climbing and climbing, I felt like I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Eventually, after one of our platonic dates, I had a full on breakdown, and tearfully told her how isolated I was feeling, how I felt like I'd lost her, and how I felt totally clueless how to fix things. She had no ideas to offer, no guidance on how to navigate any of this, and no suggestions how to get back to some kind of baseline. It all poured out from both sides ... she didn't feel like she could trust me ever since we'd got back together, I felt like she neve really let me back in. But we both agreed that that one thanksgiving had been amazing ... and we wished we could find a way back to that place - but had no idea how.
I told her I needed a month, or two, I needed to start seeing a therapist, I needed to put myself back together because I felt like I was falling apart. I told her I wished that we could take a breathe - and come back on more solid footing because I had fucked up when I broke things off before. I had come back from a place of sadness and desperation - and had not given either of us a chance to heal before trying to undo the damage I'd caused. I wanted to meet her on even footing, from a place of mutual strength and try again ...
To her, this was just me breaking up with her again.. which I tried to say "no, I don't want to lose you, but I'm fucked up and need to just right the ship a bit in my life because I am totally losing it ..." But, sometimes it doesn't matter. To her, I was leaving her again, giving up. I had no idea if she'd speak to me again, but I felt so broken I didn't know what else to do.
I took two months, without contact, and started seeing a therapist, started exercising again, got through my hell-month at work. I tried reaching out again to her, multiple times after that ... but I never heard back. A few months went by - I missed her more and more, I didn't heal or get better, I didn't feel like I'd done the right thing. My friends told me I had, my family was supportive - my friends especially have told me time and time again that ultimately, I did the right thing, that I did what was right 'for me' ... but to me, the reassurance didn't matter. There was a giant, gaping hole in my life that I had no idea what to do with. This was a woman I had wanted to marry, that I had wanted to life with, to build and share a life with -> and at one point, I know she wanted the same. I felt so terrible, and couldn't handle the memories of the place I was in, that I resigned from my job (which was ok, it was a horrible grind, that while it paid ok, didn't have any kind of upward mobility) .. and after a lot of thought, I moved back across the country because it was too painful for me to be in that place, surrounded by the memories - living with the ghosts. My friend group had been slowly dispersing, getting new jobs in new cities, having kids and getting on with life - and I didn't see a reason to stay anymore. I debated reaching out to my ex to let her know I was moving - but it had been months without a word, she had not responded to any of my attempts to talk to her, to meet her even for coffee, or to return the few things of hers I still had - and I knew that if I did reach out - it would ultimately be a selfish act, hoping that somehow she might say 'oh no, he's leaving for good' ... so I didn't. I'm still not sure if she knows I left.
I've been saying with family, slowly putting the pieces of my life back together. I'm taking classes, and plan on switching careers into a new field that I may actually am passionate about. I'll find my own place again in a month or two, but truth is I missed my family dearly, and have been helping both my aging parents with years of neglected repairs and yard work - and seeing my siblings and their families again after a decade of living on the opposite coast and getting to see them 'maybe' once a year around the holidays. Plus after paying insane rent to random landlords for over a decade, its been nice to have a few months of feeling grounded, and to put work into where I'm living. My family has been thrilled, and glad to have me around again.
But it's made no difference, really. I still think of her every day. Some days are easier than others, and I can manage to stay focused on classes and work and fitness - but in so many ways my life feels totally hollow now. I'm stuck wondering if I completely fucked up a good thing, and wasted what might have been my last shot at starting a family of my own, of having a real partner. I'm 41, realistically my chances get slimmer by the year. Or maybe I did totally the right thing, and I got out of a degenerating situation that had been nagging at me for months and months that something was deeply wrong. Or maybe it was somewhere in between those two poles. There's no way to know, and I'm limited to my own side, and my own perspective - and trapped in that middle ground of wondering how things "MIGHT" have gone had X Y or Z happened differently. I wish I had some kind of clarity, or certainty, but I don't.
I guess things are getting a bit easier, as the days and weeks and months go by - but its only by fractions of a degree. I miss her, or maybe just miss the person she used to be, if that person still exists. Head trauma is ... complicated - because the person looks the same, sounds the same ... but the person you knew, the person you fell in love with, isn't really the same person anymore. Its almost like, mourning the death of someone who is still alive, if that makes sense.
So here I am, taking it one day at a time, hoping for some brighter tomorrow, some slow healing or revelation or clarity that I did the right thing - but all I have are doubts. There's no closure to be found because all I ever got was silence. I've done everything people have recommended - focused on myself, focused on health and fitness, focus on learning new skills, on meeting new people, gone on dates, focused on family, focused on growing -> but it hasn't helped the giant, gaping hole in my life, and the never-ending uncertainty.
I expect no sympathy, or empathy ... and knowing reddit, I'll get a lot of people piling on to tell me what a piece of shit I am, lol'ing at how I fucked up my own life, and telling me she's better off without me. But then again sometimes even Reddit can surprise you with the insightful and thoughtful responses. More than anything, I just wanted to write this down somewhere, anywhere - to get it out of my head and my heart. Because the more it stews, the worse I feel. Thanks for reading, if you managed to make it this far.. its a long, messy, meandering story without any real ending. Will I hear from her again? Probably not. Will I get over her? Eventually I'm sure ... but what happens between now and then is anyone's guess. What ever it is, it'll happen on day, one moment at a time.
tldr; sometimes things just end - without someone cheating, or abusing the other person, or any real good way to sum it up. Life and relationships are long, complicated, nuanced and messy. Take care all, appreciate what you have while you have it, take it one day at a time

Hey All,
Let me preface this by saying I was always a crappy student in school. Was never motivated, slacked off as much as I could, and pulled more allnighters the night before a test than I would have liked to - just to get an average score because I didn't study more in advance.
With that being said, I did officially pass the PMP on my first try on 5/14/24 with AT in all 3 target areas! I wanted to share my advice as I know when I first started studying I felt lost and wasn't sure if I was wasting time studying the wrong materials.
1.) PMI Study Hall is THE NUMBER ONE thing you should be studying. The questions on the test very closely mimic study hall. Look at the reasoning of why you got questions wrong and memorize the vocabulary as best you can (there are some vocab questions on the exam). As everyone else notes, the mindset is key. Caveat: use the expert questions as additional practice, but try not to confuse yourself with the explanations - some of them are contradictory to the PMP mindset. However, I wouldn't say skip them all together as some people suggest because it is additional practice. I did find there were some VERY challenging questions on the exam and maybe those were expert level. It's hard to say.
2.) Don't waste too much time/money spreading yourself too thin between all of the different study materials. This may sound controversial but - AR Mindset, 3rd rock notes, different PMP programs you can find online and pay for - keep in mind all of these people are making money off of you and of course they're going to tell you that their program is the best, no one ever fails after taking their course (BS - you can find plenty of people here that failed after meticulously studying AR's mindset course). My biggest problem with people who make their own "PMP Study Course" is that they're making up the questions themselves and you're not getting an accurate representation of what the exam will look like. The most helpful thing from these programs is probably the mindset - but again it could lead you astray. I would emphasize that PMI study hall was the single most helpful tool I used.
3.) David McChlaclan's youtube videos - primarily 200 agile questions, 150 waterfall, and the 7th edition PMP questions videos helped a lot - and helped break up the monotony of reading through Study Hall content every day. I would constantly rotate between study hall questions and then watch david's videos and follow along when my brain started to fry for the day.
With that being said, the questions he goes over are most likely generated himself or outside of PMI - but SOME of them look similar to the questions you'll find on the test - and his explanations really help you master the mindset of eliminating bad answers and narrowing them down to the right choice. He also really helps fill in the knowledge gap of the AGILE questions - which as many people state here on Reddit - are a huge portion of the exam. The agile knowledge and vocabulary around agile processes is KEY.
Side note: I specifically remember many questions about deliverables, and the stakeholders rejecting deliverables at the end of a project: what to do, what SHOULD the PM have done, etc. Maybe take a note of that, and how it relates to acceptance criteria of deliverables.
2nd Side Note: I never once referred to the PMBOK 7th edition guide or Agile Practice Guide Books - again I thought reading through these was like watching paint dry and felt it was a huge waste of time instead of just diving right into study hall and YouTube and cross referencing things when I didn't understand them (google searches for definitions, etc.).
Make sure you're not just memorizing the answers in PMI Study Hall (there are about 700 questions total) - mix it up between the practice questions and practice tests to make sure you're getting a well rounded understanding of all of the material.
TIme Management: This was harder than I thought it was going to be. I was taking too much time deciding between answer choices and reviewing answers for the first 2 sections of the test. This left me with 65 minutes for the last 60 questions and I REALLY busted through the last section as quickly as possible - I ended up with about 7 minutes to review my flagged questions for this section and got some peace of mine before submitting everything. With that being said, make sure you manage your time well from the beginning - mental fatigue really does start to wear on you.
Last rant: the power of the internet now is amazing. There is so much good content on youtube and people giving away free information - and that was a huge contributor to my success - especially when concepts in Study Hall/the explanations were confusing.
I never expected to pass AT/AT/AT - (I studied maybe 3 months total with 1-2 hours a day and sometimes not studying for days in a row - the last 2 weeks I turned it up hardcore and studied 3-8 hours a day depending on my mental capacity for the day). But with consistency and really dedicating yourself, it's possible. I thought the exam overall was CHALLENGING, some easy questions but some very tricky ones.
I just wanted to post this to say THANK YOU for all the helpful information and references to helpful study material. My success wouldn't have been possible without the Reddit PMP community. I'm very glad I'll never have to take that 4 hour, anxiety-inducing test again.

In Karachi's 'biggest engineering university'
40 students in the batch. Small and underfunded department. Government university.
Had to stay here out of desperation because of financial problems (the fees is 30k) and the faculty making fake promises of support the worse my situation became as they trapped me and more years went by. Numerous incidents of misconduct by high ranking staff which I am told to accept as normal. Given the country's situation, my life is worse than ruined.
At this point in third year, ~ 17 failed/unregistered courses that need to be finished. This downwards spiral can go on for 7 to 12 years if I stay.
A level result: 3 A*
University transcript
First year (Fall semester), GPA 1.4
English: C+
Programming: A
Physics: F
Electric circuits: F
Pakistan Studies: C-
IT: C
———
First year (Spring semester), GPA 1.2
Electronics lab workshop: F
Circuits: F
Chemistry: C-
Electronics: F
Physics (reattempt): B-
Chinese: Pass
Calculus: F
———
Second year (Fall semester), GPA 1.6
Sgnal analysis: F
Digital Logic: F
Islamiat: D
Differential equations: F
Electromagnetics: B-
Calculus (reattempt): A-
Electrical Circuits (reattempt): A
Electronics lab workshop (reattempt): F
———
Second year (Spring semester), GPA 1.9
[Held back on probation because of GPA below 2.00]
Digital Logic (reattempt): F
Electronics lab workshop (reattempt): F
Circuits (reattempt): D
Electronics (reattempt): D+
Differential equations (reattempt): D+
———
Summer semester, GPA 2.0
Electronics (reattempt): F
Signal analysis (reattempt): D
———
Differential Equations (reattempt): C
Third year (Fall semester), GPA 1.6
Antennas: F
Feedback systems: F
Economics: F
Business ethics: B
Linear Algebra: D+
Electronic devices: F
Electronics lab workshop (reattempt): F

Y’all, I’m really not sure what’s still around. This list is somewhat edited, but please still make sure to check on all the regular events before you make big plans – I may have missed something.
Events are listed by the day. Events that happen every week appear first, one time stuff after that. If you have anything you’d like people to know about, comment here or message me and I’ll add it in. If you’d like further info about any of the events, look it up! I usually don’t have any extra to add.
Large Scale, Ongoing, and Multi-Day Events

Local Running, Walking, and Biking Info: https://troubleafoot.blogspot.com/
Guided Paddling Outings all around the area: https://www.facebook.com/hsmithoutdoors
Tallahassee Film Society Showings: https://www.tallahasseefilms.com/tickets/
Book Clubs for all tastes: https://www.facebook.com/midtownreadeevents
Live Theater:

• Making Light Productions: https://www.makinglightproductions.org/
  
• Theatre Tallahassee: https://theatretallahassee.org/
  
• Mickee Faust Club: https://www.mickeefaust.com/
  
• Monticello Opera House: https://www.monticellooperahouse.org/
  
• FSU School of Theatre: https://theatre.fsu.edu/productions/
  
• Young Actors Theatre: https://www.youngactorstheatre.com/
  
• Quincy Music Theatre: https://quincymusictheatre.com/
  
• Tallahassee Hispanic Theater: https://tallahasseehispanictheater.wordpress.com/
  

OutdooFarmer’s Markets:

• Lake Ella Grower's Market: Wednesday and Saturday, 11am-2pm. You can always find organic vendors, and foragers: The Holistic Cannabis Community, Artzi Farms, Hickory Nut Gifts, and others. Including Pita Queen! Farmer's Market Nutrition Program Coupons gladly accepted!
  
• Tallahassee Downtown Market: Saturdays, 10am-2pm, Park Ave Parks. Vendors display their arts and fine crafts, jewelry, handmade soap, pottery, Fresh from Florida produce, hand-raised beef and pork, fresh baked bread, jams and jellies, and honey. Live music from different local musicians every Saturday.
  
• Frenchtown Heritage Market: 524 N MLK Jr Blvd. Third Saturday of the month 10am to 2pm. Come grow community and support your local farmers and makers, while you get your groceries for the week! Don’t forget! We match SNAP/EBT, so you DOUBLE your money to go towards locally grown fresh fruits and vegetables! If the guy with the pineapple is there, get it. This is currently only happening on the third Saturday of the month for the next few months while road work is completed.
  
• Tallahassee Farmers Market: 2904 Kerry Forest Pkwy, Saturdays, 8am to Noon. Come see us at Tallahassee's longest-running farmers market! We are a year-round market, featuring local farms and vendors that provide the best seasonal produce, meats, baked goods, and more. We welcome you and your whole family (leashed pets included) to come out and meet your local farmers! Ample parking is available between our lot and the shopping center lot next door (by Red Elephant). Come early for the best selection.
  

THURSDAY, 5/16

• The Hub at Feather Oaks: Bingo. 6pm
  
• Dreamland BBQ: Weekly Open Blues Jam. If you'd like to sing, please bring your own mic. 6pm
  
• Honest Living Vape: Chess-Master Thursdays . Beginners and experts, join us every Thursday from 6-9 for Chess-Master Thursdays. All ages. Bring your board or play ours! Tournaments coming soon! 6pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Takko Market Square: Bingo Night. 7pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Karaoke with Jared Walker. 7pm
  
• Amicus Brewing: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Smitty's Taphouse: Trivia Lab Thursdays. Teams of 6 or fewer players can compete for $30 / $20 / $10 Prizes + The Golden MacGuffin prize table! New format! Interactive smartphone answering for your comfort and safety! 6 Fun Rounds - 42 Total Questions. 7:30pm
  
• Studio D: Bachata Fever. We always have a bachata workshop at 8 pm before Bachata Fever. We dance afterwards to the sounds of DJ Bacharod. The class is at 8 pm and Bachata Fever will start at 930 pm. Many times people are learning in class and may feel uncomfortable social dancing while they are still learning moves. We have a welcoming environment so stay and have fun and dance with everyone. That is how we learn. 8pm/Class $5/Bachata Fever $5.
  
• The Sound Bar: Comedy Night. 8pm
  
• Finnegans Wake: Open Mic. 8:30pm
  
• Brass Tap in Midtown: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm
  
• 926: Karaoke. 9pm
  
• Bird’s: Karaoke with Nathan. 9pm
  

• Fire Bettys: Slasher Bash. This week we'll be showing: "Zombeavers". Prepare for an evening of horrific hilarity with comedy narration and devilish drinking games!🍻 Hosted by local comedians. 8pm/21+
  
• Blue Tavern: Seep's Gumbo Nation ft. Shanice Richards. 8pm
  

FRIDAY, 5/17

• Blue Tavern: Happy Hour with Steve Malono. 5pm
  
• Lake Tribe Brewing: Flannel Fridays with Live Music. 6pm
  
• Hobbit West: Friday Night Dart Tournament. Anyone can Enter! Sign ups at 7:30, Darts fly at 8:00/$10 entry fee
  
• Ouzts Too: Karaoke with DJ Nathan. Best karaoke DJ in town. 8pm
  
• Just One More: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm-11pm/21+
  
• 926: The Hot Friday Night Party and Drag Show. 9pm/$5/18+
  

• The Hub at Feather Oaks: Rachel Hillman. 5:30pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Ben Wentworth. 5:30pm
  
• Amicus Brewing: The Tanglers. 6pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: One Year Anniversary Celebration Featuring Queen of Hearts Band. 6pm
  
• Southwood Golf Club: The Rhythm Remedy. 6:30pm
  
• Goodwood: The Big Bash Havana Nights presented by Brent Hartsfield. The Big Bash is Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Big Bend's signature fundraising gala of the year and directly supports the agency's youth mentoring programs. Guests will enjoy Cuban Cuisine, champagne mojitos, cigars, flights, classic cars, photo opportunities, silent auction vacation packages, LIVE music and dancing, and an exciting LIVE salsa dance performance from 12 community volunteers! The event is a tremendous networking opportunity for Tallahassee's top business professionals, local community leaders and philanthropists to come together to enjoy an evening to celebrate the achievements of Big Brothers Big Sisters. 7pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Wil Fulkerson Jazz Night. 8pm
  
• House of Music: Belly Dancing: Journey From The Nile To The Tigris. Habibi, join us on a groovy carpet ride across ancient deserts: Disco Iskandar embarks on a voyage of belly dance, folklore, cinema, and history in a theatrical dance production, JOURNEY FROM THE NILE TO THE TIGRIS. Highlighting the prominence of belly dance in films of the Middle East from the 1940s through the 1970s, we present a live showcase exhibiting dances from Egypt, Turkey, Iraq, and beyond. It goes so much deeper than you think. Hookahs! Swords! Rhinestones, literally everywhere! This cross section of entertainment and education is the culmination of years of obsessive learning, two national tours, and travels to Egypt & Lebanon. JOURNEY FROM THE NILE TO THE TIGRIS is a trip unlike any other-- where the Middle East meets Vegas. This show’s cast is Gabi Corazon, Gia Bee, Liz Azi, Olya Clark, Vania Ojeda, director Veronica Lynn, and special guest star Omaris! 8pm/$15/21+
  
• The Sound Bar: The Old Schoolers. 8pm
  
• Vino Beano: Your Scumbag Neighbors. 8pm
  
• The Bark: Medians, No Yeah, Sleep John B, and Cloud Storage. 8pm
  

SATURDAY, 5/18

• Brinkley Glen Park: Invasive Plant Removal. Join Master Gardener Volunteers at this weekly invasive plant removal event. This is a great way to learn to ID our invasive plant species and how to remove them. We recommend wearing long pants and sleeves, closed-toed shoes, gloves, a hat and mosquito spray. Bring gardening tools such as hand clippers, loppers, trowels, etc. if you have them. We are removing coral ardisia bushes and berries, nandina, tung trees, Tradescantia flumenensis, cat's claw vine, winged yam, Japanese climbing fern, skunkvine and more. Directions: The best way to get there is to take Meridian Rd to Waverly Rd, go to the next intersection and turn left onto Abbotsford Way, then turn left at the next road called Woodside Dr. At the stop sign turn left onto Lothian. Lothian ends in a cul-de-sac and there is a sign that says Brinkley Glen Park. 8:30am-11:30am
  
• Gamescape: Saturday Gaming. Gamescape has relocated from Railroad Square to the Huntington Oaks Plaza (Suite 302, next to the Library) at N Monroe St and Fred George Rd. Open gaming tables are available. Noon-6pm
  
• Duke’s and Dottie’s: Line Dancing Plus Lessons. 7pm/21+
  
• Bird’s Oyster Shack: Laughterday Night Fever. * Join us every Saturday at Bird's Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack for a free comedy show!* 8:30pm
  
• 926: Latin Night. Dance to the irresistible beats of Zeus and prepare to be dazzled by a spectacular drag show at midnight. It's more than a party, it's an experience. 9:30pm/$10 21+, $15 under 21
  

• Crawfordville: Big Bend Biodiversity Tour. See why our area is so ecologically incredible! Get up close and personal with creatures and plants galore. Join expert guide and outdoor educator, Ryan Means for this limited opportunity to tour the Apalachicola Lowlands Preserve. The day-long trip stops at points along the way to the privately-owned preserve nestled deep in the Apalachicola National Forest near Sumatra, FL. Explore the longleaf pine ecosystem, pitcher plant bogs, ephemeral wetlands, and blackwater streams - home to some threatened and endangered species. Learn what makes the Florida Panhandle one of the five richest biodiversity hotspots in North America. Perfect tour for photographers, outdoor enthusiasts and ecologists. $75 tour fee includes round-trip transportation (from 46 Kinsey Rd, Crawfordville, FL) , complimentary beverages, and supports efforts to preserve the incredible biodiversity of the Southeastern Coastal Plain. Spaces limited. Register here: https://coastalplains.networkforgood.com/events/71083-big-bend-biodiversity-tour for full details. 8am
  
• Dreamland BBQ: Rock Type One to None. Let's rock to find a cure for Type 1 Diabetes! The Unicorn Wranglers are back on Saturday, May 18th at Dreamland BBQ in Tallahassee, Florida for the 2024 "Rock One to None" show. This show is benefiting the Juvenile Diabetes Research Fund (JDRF) and will feature musical guests Midnight Caravan, Fallen Timber, and the Unicorn Wranglers. The show starts at 4 pm and runs until 7 pm at Dreamland BBQ in Music Alley, and is open to all ages. While the show is free, we encourage all rockers attending to donate to the cause. You can contribute at the show by visiting our donation station or by heading over to our online Unicorn Wranglers team page. Together, as one big mosh pit, we can help cure Type 1 Diabetes. 3pm
  
• The Hub at Feather Oaks: Ethan Kyllonen. 4pm
  
• Amicus Brewing: Beza Alford and Rev. Dr. Sheldon Steen. 5pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Flamingo Party. 6pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Billy Rigsby Band. 6pm
  
• Vino Beano: Brett & "Dangerous" Dave. 6pm
  
• Salty Dawg: Hot Mess. 6:30pm
  
• La Tiendita: Rhys Bennett & the Gringos as Vontade. Join us for an energetic evening filled with the vibrant sounds of Latin music, Brazilian beats, and jazz rhythms. Our local band, Rhys Bennett & the Gringos, will transform into the versatile ensemble Vontade, treating you to a delightful mix of rancheras, bossa nova, and more! Whether you're a seasoned dancer or a newcomer to the dance floor, you're in for a fantastic time at one of Tallahassee's hidden gems. Immerse yourself in a night of cultural fusion and musical celebration that is sure to create lasting memories! 6:30pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Tillman & Taff. 7pm
  
• Island Wings: Midnight Caravan. 7pm
  
• The Bark: Saturnalia, Brass Wizard, Van Season, and Psycho Tropical. 8pm
  
• Fire Bettys: 80's Video Dance Party. 8pm
  
• Just One More: One Eyed JAK. 9pm
  

SUNDAY, 5/19

• Bicycle House: Sunday Ride. Ride at 10:30 AM from Bicycle House. We will ride the Cascades trail to the St Marks trail and down to Wakulla station and return, about 31 miles. Ride speed is 12 to 14 mph, with periodic regroups. Vernon Bailey is the ride leader. Vernon is a new CCC member who’s been biking for 50 years enjoys riding with small groups and weekend touring. 10am
  
• E Peck Greene Park (Behind the LeRoy Collins Library): Food Not Bombs Free Mealshare. We offer free vegetarian/vegan food, water, coffee, personal care & hygiene products, bus passes, and clothing when we have some available to those in need. Contact foodnotbombstally@gmail.com to find out about getting involved. Noon-2pm
  
• LeRoy Collins Library: Tallahassee Go Club Meetings. Come play the captivating ancient game of Go, also known as Baduk, with some friendly games and discussions. Beginners welcome. Visit https://www.tallahasseegoclub.com for more information. 1pm
  
• Gamescape: Pokémon League. Come learn, play, and trade with the Pokémon Trading Card Game and the Pokémon video games! We LOVE seeing new players, so come learn how to play! We play both the Trading Card Game and the Video Game casually and competitively. The store offers lots of different seating arrangements to meet our group's needs, as well as food, drinks, and Pokémon products for purchase. We are also hold regular, officially sanctioned tournaments for Pokémon Trading Card Game and Video Game Competitions! 2-4pm
  
• The Plant: Open Jam. All instruments, all players welcome. 4pm-9pm
  
• Pedro’s: Mariachi Clasico. 6pm
  
• Fermentation Lounge: Open Mic Night Hosted by Conor Churchill. 7pm
  

• Ology Powermill: Marauders Market. Noon
  
• The Hub at Feather Oaks: The Barber Bros. 1pm-4pm
  
• Goodwood: Ice Cream Social. Get ready for a spectacular day of family fun at Goodwood Museum & Gardens! Treat your taste buds to a family fun day of FREE ice cream, FREE crafts for the kids, FREE activities, and more, all on the beautiful Goodwood grounds. Family-friendly musical entertainment will be provided by The Safari Man, who will have everyone tapping their feet and dancing along to his whimsical tunes. 1pm
  
• Common Ground Books: Contemporary Queer Poetry Book Club: Time is a Mother. This month, we’ll be reading “Time is a Mother” by Ocean Vuong. “In this deeply intimate second poetry collection, Ocean Vuong searches for life among the aftershocks of his mother's death, embodying the paradox of sitting within grief while being determined to survive beyond it. Vivid, brave and propulsive, Vuong's poems contend with personal loss, the meaning of family, and the value of joy in a perennially fractured American spirit. The author of the critically acclaimed poetry collection Night Sky with Exit Wounds, winner of the 2016 Whiting Award, the 2017 T. S. Eliot Prize and a 2019 MacArthur fellow, Vuong writes directly to our humanity without losing sight of the current moment. Bold and prescient, and a testament to tenderness in the face of violence, Time is a Mother is a return and a forging-forth all at once.” 6pm
  

MONDAY, 5/20

• Just One More: Bingo. 5pm-6:30pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Margarita Monday, Open-Mic Night hosted by The Saltwater Cowboy. 5:30pm-8pm
  
• American Legion Hall: Cha Cha - Weekly Lessons. 6:15pm/$5
  
• Hangar 38: Bingo. 6:45pm
  
• Vino Beano: Tipsy Trivia. 7pm
  

TUESDAY, 5/21

• Blue Tavern: Happy Hour. 5pm
  
• The Getaway Grille: Tuesday Night Bikes and Trikes. 6pm
  
• Crafty Crab: BOOMIN' Karaoke. 7pm
  
• Gamescape: Hobby Night. Slay the grey together! Join your fellow gamers and turn your pile of grey miniatures into a battle ready army. Need some painting tips? Feel free to ask at hobby night. You can bring any miniature for any game to paint. 7pm
  
• Ology Midtown: Jazz Jam Sessions. 7pm
  
• Island Wings: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Brass Tap in Midtown: Trivia. 1st Tuesday of the month is General Knowledge with rotating themes the rest of the month. 7pm
  
• House of Music: Tuesday Trivia & Karaoke. 7pm
  
• American Legion Hall: Tallahassee Swing Band Tuesday Night Dance. 7:30pm
  
• Fire Bettys: Comedy Night. 8pm
  
• Poor Pauls: Trivia. 8pm/21+
  
• Blue Tavern: Bluesday Tuesday with Bill Ricci. Every Tuesday is Blues Day @ the Blue Tavern and Blues Meets Girl is a Tallahassee favorite. This perfect, intimate venue provides just what you need for both a mid-week break and authentic blues music experience. 8pm/$5
  
• 4th Quarter: Professor Jim's Tuesday Night Trivia. Popular for a reason! 8pm
  
• Argonaut Coffee: Trivia Tuesday. 8pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Karaoke. 8pm
  
• Fire Betty’s: Open Mic Comedy Night. 8pm/21+
  
• 926: Tacos and Trivia. 9pm
  

• Tallahassee Junior Museum: Basic Blacksmith Skills Program. Light your curiosity at our upcoming Basic Blacksmith Skills Program! Join our resident blacksmith, Michael Murphy, as he shares his history of being a Smitty. Participants will be able to keep the fire going, sling a hammer, and throw knives during this two hour lecture program. This is an outdoor event. Must preregister online at tallahasseemuseum.org/events. This program is free for members and regular admission price for non-members. 10am

WEDNESDAY, 5/22

• Sugar and Spice Tally: Game Night. Join us every Wednesday Night for community game night. Bring your own or use ours! Let me know if you need to reserve space for a large group. Free to attend! 5pm
  
• Goodwood: Wonderful Wednesday. 6pm/$5
  
• Level 8 Rooftop Lounge: Trivia. 6pm
  
• La Florida Coffee & Wine: Trivia Night. 6pm
  
• The Great Games Library: Open Game Night. 6pm/free
  
• American Legion Hall: Sue Boyd Country Western and More Dance Class. Session 2 - Beginner 6:30 to 7:45 pm What: East Coast Swing and Waltz. Cost: $8.00 per person. Wear comfortable shoes you can turn in. 7:45 to 8:15 - Practice dance with paid admission. 8:15 to 9:30: Intermediate - 2 Step and WCS. $8.00 per person or $13.00 for both classes. Vaccines are required. Face masks are optional. Changing partners is optional. 6:30pm
  
• Perry Lynn’s Smokehouse in Quincy: Wed Night Open Mic w/ Steven Ritter and Friends. 6:30pm
  
• Hangar 38: Trivia. 6:45pm
  
• Proof: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Vino Beano: Wine Bingo. 7pm
  
• Fermentation Lounge: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Wednesday Open Mic with Doc Russell. The open mic night that has run continuously for almost 20 years, once housed at the Warehouse, lives on at the Blue Tavern. Doc Russell continues as the host with the most. Sign up starts at 7:45pm/free to attend
  
• House of Music: Bar Bingo! Free to Play & Late Night Karaoke. 7pm
  
• Fire Betty’s: Karaoke! 8pm/21+/free
  
• Dukes and Dotties: College Night and Line Dancing Lessons. 8pm
  
• Finnegans Wake: Trivia. 8pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Open Mic Night. 8pm
  
• The Bark: Karaoke with DJ Nathan. Best karaoke DJ in town. 9pm
  
• Peppers: Karaoke. 9pm
  
• 926: Dragged Out Wednesday. 10pm
  

This subreddit needs an official questionnaire and I think this one is easy enough to answer. I don't expect to become sure of my type because of internet strangers, but I do like answering questions about myself.
My Enneagram type is either 6w5 or 9w8, 469, sp/so. I have autism. (I think an official questionnaire should ask for this information. Autism can influence E (empathy), F (sensory issues), V (executive dysfunction) and L (special interests). A high self-preservation instinct can look like F (routines, health), sexual and social can look like F too (wanting to look attractive or socially acceptable (or maybe like you belong to a subculture). A low sexual or social instinct could look like lower E.)
L (logic)

• How much time and energy do you spend researching or studying? Do you like researching and studying, and why?

I enjoy studying, but every time I decide I should do it more I make a plan of everything I want to study and then it starts feeling very heavy. I want to only study fun topics like typology, psychology, philosophy and languages. I do it for fun and because I feel inferior when I have less knowledge than other people.

• How many of your own opinions do you form? How often do you do actual thinking on your own, more than just finding an existing answer?

I have some core beliefs that help me form opinions on different topics (for example the theory of evolution, which can be applied to most topics). I sometimes form an opinion based on what makes sense for me instead of what is factual. If I don't understand something I can be skeptical, if something I don't believe in (for example astrology) got scientifically proven I would feel very uncomfortable and question the results.

• How often do you talk about concepts or facts? Why exactly do you talk about it, and what do you like talking about most?

I like telling people about personality systems. I think teaching people and typing them makes me feel useful, and I need to type people irl if I want to understand the systems. I sometimes talk about philosophy, but that usually doesn't go anywhere because my beliefs are too unromantic for other people and they often judge me for being a nihilist or an egoist. I also like learning and teaching languages, maybe too much. I think some people feel pressured by me trying to teach them.

• Do you struggle with thinking about things by yourself? Does this bother you, and how much? How well do you handle criticism from others when it comes to your logical concepts or factual knowledge?

I often struggle with understanding scientific topics. It does bother me a lot, I am afraid of my future children asking me to explain physics to them. I avoid criticism like the plague, I don't want to express anything that could be false so I often either don't express myself or triple check everything. I easily doubt my own opinion, especially if the topic is a complex one like typology. Philosophy is much simpler, you just state your opinion and then the other persons states theirs and then you both think that the other person is stupid, but this is easy for me to say since my opinion is always the simplest one and therefore correct. ("What is the moral choice her?" "Morality isn't real." "Was this a selfish action?" "All actions are selfish." "What is the meaning of life?" "There is no meaning." "Is god real?" "We don't have any proof that god exists.")

• Did you enjoy answering the above questions? Would you say this is a major part of who you are or your identity? Was it boring? Is it a difficult topic?

Yeah, it was fun. It is a major part of me, but I know that if I had been born into the stone ages it wouldn't be.
E (emotion)

• Do you consider yourself a creative person? What do you do that's creative?

Not really, I sometimes have creative ideas but I rarely do anything with them.

• How do you feel about expressing your own emotions? Are emotions part of your decision-making at all? How much of a role do they play in your decisions?

I am fine with expressing emotions like anger or fun, but I don't want to express deeper or less strong feelings like love. I rarely love people, and I can't express something I don't feel.
Of course they are part of my decision making process, they are for every human. If you choose a path because it feels the most secure you are making a decision based on anxiety, or on wanting to feel more comfort than anxiety in the future. I sometimes base my decisions on excitement. I don't want to have a boring job.

• How much effort do you put into creating a positive emotional influence on other people? Do you try to do this at all? Do you like exploring the emotions or creativity of others?

I try my best to not create a negative one, and I try to make people feel better about themselves when they are insecure about something. I am not very interested in talking about the feelings of my friends, but I do play therapist sometimes because of my interest in psychology. I am interested in creativity in general, I enjoy listening to music and making and sharing playlists, but I am usually not deeply interested in my friends.

• Do you feel uncomfortable with the idea of sharing your emotions? Do you struggle with knowing exactly how to connect with others on a deeper and more emotional level? Do you struggle with knowing how to go about dealing with and handling your emotions?

Yes, it makes me feel either vulnerable (if I have strong emotions) or inhuman (if I don't have enough). Yes, I don't do it much. The thought makes me uncomfortable. Yes, but ONLY because I'm very sensitive and quickly cry, which can be very inconvenient and I don't know how to stop it.

• Did you enjoy answering the above questions? Would you say this is a major part of who you are or your identity? Was it boring? Is it a difficult topic?

Yes. Not really, but I have been thinking about morality more so maybe in the future, although that might be more of a Volition topic.
F (physics / foundation)

• How much time and energy do you put into your physical health? Do you try new healthcare or self-care products often? How often, and what kinds of products do you like trying?

Sleeping and not being hungry are important to me, but apart from that I don't do much. I don't care about what I eat or where I sleep as long as it's enough. I don't often try new products, if I do it's either because I noticed a problem (which can take a long time) or because my mother (3F) noticed one.

• How much do you care about your physical appearance, including fashion choices, or decorating the physical environment for comfort? Do you like exploring the physical environment (food, nature, architecture, etc), or doing physical activity?

I think I used to care about it for a while, but then I either forgot about it or decided that it is a waste of money and time. I still have preferences, I just try to not spend too much energy on them. I enjoy nature and some sports, but I sometimes forget about them for a while. I sadly don't get much pleasure from eating or looking at things.

• Do you like talking about your personal tastes often? How often do you explore the personal tastes of others? What about your own health or the health of others? Do you like creating or exploring comfortable environments with others?

Yes, but the tastes I talk about are my taste in music or movies. I don't like hearing about other people's tastes as much because I feel like I then have to spend time listening to their favorite artists, and then I have to form an opinion on it... and I don't like most artists.
Idk about the other questions.

• Do you stress about what people will think regarding your personal tastes? Do you prefer to follow fashion trends in worry that people may judge your own style? Do you worry about being sick or in poor physical health often? Are you able to take criticism about your health, aesthetic choices, personal tastes, or physical appearance?

No. No. Sometimes I think that I'm sick, but it doesn't make me panic. Not sure, I think I sometimes ignore it and sometimes follow it, it probably depends on how much effort changing it would take. My mother is 3F and I think her criticisms are annoying, she wants me to change my knife holding habits and stop eating old cooked rice (I hate wasting food). But I can critique other people, for example for not being clean or practical enough.

• Did you enjoy answering the above questions? Would you say this is a major part of who you are or your identity? Was it boring? Is it a difficult topic?

Not really, it wasn't difficult, just a bit boring. It's not important to me, except my fashion choices since they usually reflect my identity.
V (volition)

• Do you know how to get what you want? How much effort do you put into figuring out how to get what you want? Do you just take action and get started, do you plan, do you research or try to get advice from others?

Yes, but only in the physical world, I can for example get people to watch my favorite movie.
I make detailed plans that are too ambitious for me to follow. I like having a detailed plan, it makes me feel like I can achieve my goals. If I'm panicking about a goal I make a detailed plan. But I usually don't follow the plan because I have low energy/ problems motivating myself. I take advice from others if they are more knowledgable than me and probably from my mother.

• How often do you feel motivated to work on your future? How often are you busy working on a goal for the future? Do you prefer routine, or often fall into routine? Is your routine making progress on a goal? What makes you change your routine? What makes you start working on a goal?

Sometimes I get the feeling that I need to get my life together and then I make a bunch of plans and lists, but I don't work on them enough. I procrastinate a lot. I'm bad at routines, I prefer making a to do list every day. I sometimes try establishing a routine to reach a goal, but then I forget to follow it or am unable to follow it exactly because I can't predict how long a task will take or because something gets in the way. I either start working on a goal when I'm motivated or when I'm panicking.

• Do you like guiding or helping people reach their goals? What kinds of goals do you prefer to help people with? Are you a leader, or do you prefer to work in groups where you're an equal? How and when do you take charge, if ever?

Yes, it makes me feel useful. I always try to make people feel like they can reach their goals, but I can also be critical, especially about job choices. I sometimes get the urge to make language study plans for people.
I prefer working in groups of people I know well, if I'm with strangers I'm too shy to speak up. I take charge in small groups of incompetent people, I can remind people of their responsibilities, but I don't want to make decisions on my own. I can also take charge when it comes to physical needs like food (but I will ask everyone their preferences).

• Do you overwork yourself? Do you worry that you might be lazy or that you aren't progressing quickly enough? Does it feel impossible to find the right method forward? Are you able to take criticism over your choices for working towards your goals? How do you respond to being challenged?

No, I am too easily stressed. I don't worry about being lazy, I know that it's true. I do feel a lot of shame and anxiety about my productivity, but I think anyone who is as lazy as me would.
I worry about missing something. Do I really want this future? Isn't there something better out there? I've changed my mind about my future in the past and wasted a lot of time that way, so now I want to make sure, but that's impossible. Finding the right method is important too. It does feel impossible but that's because it IS, noone can really know the future except maybe a super-super-computer.
I think I can take criticism, but I might cry or consider murder before accepting it, especially if it includes a character judgement (I've heard "You're too sensitive for this job. You should try [similar job] instead." Who do you think you are to give me advice? You don't know my reasons for choosing this job.). Except if the criticism is not valid, then I can ignore it.

• Did you enjoy answering the above questions? Would you say this is a major part of who you are or your identity? Was it boring? Is it a difficult topic?

More difficult than boring, it's difficult for me to separate Volition from the other aspects. I used to not have any goals, but now it is a part of my identity, but I know that my goals might change.

DAY: MAY 15, 2024

• 5-15-2024ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE PROCESSES WITHOUT SYMPTOMS. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? Everyone experiences aging in their own way, and factors such as genetics, lifestyle and environment play a role in this process. Some individuals reach the age of 90 or even 100 in good health, without medications or brain disease. But how do these individuals maintain their health as they age?
• 5-15-2024COULD A LOW-CAL KETO DIET HELP EASE ACNE? In a small pilot study, some young women looking to lose weight on a low-calorie keto diet got an unexpected benefit: Their acne began to clear up. “These findings represent an opportunity to control a skin disease that affects most teenagers and many adults at some point in their lifetimes, causing distress, embarrassment, anxiety and low self-confidence among sufferers, robbing them of their quality of life,
• 5-15-2024FIGHTING FAT AND INFLAMMATION: SCIENTISTS DEVELOP NEW COMPOUNDS The menthyl esters of valine (MV) and isoleucine (MI) are multi-faceted molecules with enhanced anti-inflammatory and anti-obesity activities. The discovery and development of such molecules can result in newer classes of therapeutic drugs to treat a wide range of metabolic disorders. Credit: Gen-ichiro Arimura from Tokyo University of Science Modified derivatives of natural products have led to significant therapeutic advances and commercial success in recent times. Menthol is a naturally occurring cyclic monoterpene alcohol found in various plants,
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I just finished teaching my first large (80-person) class. For references, I'm in a private R1, STEM; the class was on the softer side of STEM.
It was a version of a class I've taught before that was 40 students that was turned into a "general education" requirement. It was stressful, but finally a positive experience. Here are my words of wisdom.

1. When you double the class, you double the number of problems. You need very clear, explicit boundaries for assignments, lateness, policy, etc. Having a boilerplate e-mail that is firm but polite saves a lot of emotional energy. e.g., "I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling right now. Per syllabus, [THE ANSWER THEY DON'T WANT]."
2. Have a separate e-mail folder for student e-mails and move everything there. Wait a day before replying to any student e-mail. This is as much for them as for you: these e-mails are often sent when they're in a "hot" state.
3. Engagement is much harder to manage. If the students need to do X to learn, X has to have a grade attached. Intrinsic motivation can't be sustained when students can't connect with you one-on-one.
4. Low engagement means more procrastination; for big assignments, have at least one prior (graded) stage that might be, e.g., a plan of work. This can be gently graded (e.g., "if you submit a good faith attempt, you get at least a B") — it's just to reality-check students about what they have to do.
5. Detailed rubrics for all assignments are crucial. You can't rely on explaining a requirement in class.
6. Group work works really well, but the students have to choose their own groups for this to work effectively.
7. You will probably need to be a harsher grader (unfortunately) on the key assignments — you will get far more sub-standard work, and your rubrics need to include the various conditions for receiving a C, D, and F on any piece of work. (I messed this up, and had conditions for A, B, and F... did not expect stuff that was above F, but well below B.)
8. Do not have any assignment where failing to turn it in means a B-level student will fail the class. (This was my main source of pain — I ended up accepting late assignments on the final because I didn't want to fail students.)

Would love to hear thoughts from others!
EDIT: one strategy that worked very well — for student e-mails that couldn't be answered with a cut-paste from the syllabus, I said: "great question, come see me at the lectern after next class". About 50% of those never showed; the other 50% led to great, efficient, 2 minute conversations where a surprising amount of teaching got done.
EDIT2: just keeping track of my learning this semester. Don't try to figure out what's going on for a student. You'll almost certainly get it wrong. The student that comes off as a grade-grubbing fibber is probably super nice and honest, and vice versa. Policies and rubrics are not just about fairness, they're also about making sure that you don't start making judgement calls that you will regret.

Updated with autopsy results.
Morphew Case Map - Google My Maps - Barry's iPhone Data - Google My Maps - Barry's Truck Events - Google My Maps
August 5, 1994 – Suzanne Moorman marries Barry Morphew The Alexandria Times-Tribune Alexandria, Indiana 05 Jan 1994, Wed • Page 4
December 1999 – Barry and Suzanne Purchase 26040 Cal Carson Rd, Arcadia, IN This is the house where he dug a hole in the yard and buried everything he didn't want to move to Colorado. (AA ft 55 page 53)
November 2013 – Suzanne Inherits $208,000 upon the Passing of her Mother. MB provided documents that Suzanne inherited approximately $208,000 in 2013 at the passing of her mother.
August 2016 – Suzanne inherits $217,000 upon the death of a grandmother. Suzanne’s grievance list included multiple references to Barry controlling the finances.
April 12, 2018 – The Morphew’s Purchase 19057 Puma Path Barry and Suzanne Morphew purchase 19057 Puma Path for $1,575,000.
June 1, 2018 – The Morphews move to Colorado. (PH – Harris) SA Harris: Yeah, they moved in 2018. I believe they left around June 1st, 2018. to move to Colorado. So roughly a year and a half of the time is what Sheila originally said in that.
September 2018 – Suzanne sends “Howdy stranger” message to JL First contact since high school.
Fall 2018 – Libler’s daughter sees messages from Suzanne on his phone. Libler breaks it off.
Thanksgiving 2018 – Barry obsessive/possessive. While Suzanne was at the Oliver’s house, she had stepped away from her cell phone to use the restroom, and Barry tried calling her several times within a few minutes, then tried calling Sheila, then tried calling Darin.
Holidays 2018 – Suzanne finds Libler’s LinkedIn Page. Relationship Rekindled
January 2019 – The Mexico trip where Barry took Suzanne’s phone Mexico trip mentioned in the grievances list where Barry took Suzanne's phone.
February 11 – 14, 2019 – Suzanne in New Orleans with Libler Barry admitted to questioning Suzanne about the New Orleans trip, further evidence he suspected the affair.
April 2019 – Suzanne meets up with Libler in Indiana She does not see SO on this trip.
July 2019 – Suzanne and Libler meet up in Michigan Barry called SO while Suzanne was in MI visiting her fatheJL, wanting to know why Suzanne wasn't returning his calls.
September 2019 – Barry stalks Suzanne and Shelia Oliver, creeping through woods. Barry stalked Suzanne and Sheila at the Puma Path house in September 2019. This is upon his early return from a trip to Arizona.
October 2019 – Libler and Suzanne in Dallas Suzanne and Libler spend two nights at the Galleria.
September – November 2019 – Barry aggressively pursues KW around Salida. From the first time KW met Barry, she said it felt like "he was putting his tentacles out."
Holidays 2019 – Suzanne and Libler stop talking on the phone because she is afraid Barry will find out. They shift to more covert ways to communicate. Barry's second device makes its first appearance.
January/February 2020 – Suzanne in Florida, gets spy pen, sees Libler Suzanne in Florida, SO gives her the spy pen during this trip. Suzanne records a conversation with Libler on this trip.
Late February 2020 – Suzanne in Florida, sees father and Libler. Suzanne skips out on time with her father to see Libler. Barry goes to Florida.
March 2020 – Spy pen records argument between Suzanne and Barry. “It’s money. It’s about money.” “… I have lived for years being told how I should feel, how I should act, how I should look, what I should drink, what I shouldn’t drink, what I should put in my body, what I shouldn’t put in my body … ”
March 20, 2020 – Jekyll and Hyde text exchange between Suzanne and SO, MM2 suggests restraining order. "It’s Jekyl and Hyde again … Pretty much told him I can’t be healthy and stay in this."
March 22, 2020 – Spy pen records Barry listening to Forensic Files episodes, call with Suzanne on drive to Pueblo Coincidentally one of the episodes involved a woman "disappearing" after a bike ride.
April 21, 2020 – Messages between Suzanne and Libler “I want to be with you,” “I can only be me with you,” I love you,” “I need you.” “You know I was born to love you.”
May 4, 2020 16:05 – Barry makes 3 second outgoing call to Suzanne This was the first logged call in Barry’s phone to or from Suzanne since February 7, 2020.
May 5, 2020 – Suzanne drives MM2 to Gunnison Suzanne drives Macy to Gunnison, CO to meet MM1 for a road/camping trip through Utah and Idaho with MM1's best friend.
May 6, 08:44 – Suzanne sends MM2 a text “Good morning! I miss you already!”
May 6, 10:13 – Suzanne: “I’m done. I could care less what you’re up to and have been for years.” From 14:43 to 17:00 Barry replied, “When I’m dead,” “Going to see my savior,” and “This life on earth is a mear (sic) grain of sand compared to eternity.”
May 6, 2020 – 14:43 – From Barry to Suzanne: “I’m sorry if things went the way they did. I have a problem dealing with the way you accused me of hiding checks. If you think I’m as terrible of a person to hide our accounts and have ones you don’t know about you don’t know me. All I do is for you and the girls. All. When I'm dead, which won't be long, you guys will be taken care of. Please stop being angry. If I can control my hurt heart I think I can overcome your distant unlovingness toward me. Honey, I swear it's the hardest thing I've had to do. I love you I always will.”
May 6, 2020 – 15:51 – Barry to Suzanne: “I promise you were wrong about all the crazy thoughts about me. I have always been faithful. Always. Why would I ever want another when I'm married to the most beautiful, sweet, kind, loving, woman as you? Only a fool would stray from an angel like you.”
May 07, 2020 – Suzanne messages Libler about how magical past days had been. Barry wants a new truck. 16:43 - “Been studying all afternoon. I’m gonna bike now. I’ve got veggie soup on for supper.”
May 7, 2020 – SB puts new tires on Suzanne’s bike Bike mechanic was interviewed by law enforcement.
May 7, 17:13:52 – Barry Works Out at GD’s House Truck log files place Barry at GD's home at 5:13 pm.
May 7, 2020 23:00 – “I finally got the job” text from MM1 goes unanswered. Q (Lindsey): Anything on May 6th that didn’t seem normal? Was there a text from Mallory to Mr. Morphew? A (Grusing): I believe that’s the night of May 7th. Mallory, Macy, and their friend Holly are out on a trip towards Utah and Mallory is sending pictures to both Suzanne and Barry but I was ... Read more
May 08, 07:03 – The Grievance List: Suzanne’s phone backs up a list of 50 reasons why she wanted to leave marriage on “Notes” Not safe alone with you. Can’t be trusted - Oppressive - Slam on brakes when angry - Threaten to jump out of car - Gun ...
May 08, 08:43 – “I will continue to do your invoicing when you need to.” "When FBI Agents showed Barry these texts during interviews in 2021, he said he did not think Suzanne was serious."
May 08, 09:28 – Suzanne texts sister about Barry’s abuse. “It’s hard dealing with the harsh abrasiveness and having to show respect. He’s also been abusive, emotionally and physically. There’s so much … I went thru a period of acceptance and I feel more angry now. Anger at what I’ve allowed.”
May 08, 10:55 Barry: “I Love You, Suzanne.” “But, in the afternoon, it (the text fight) was like it never happened. She texted me back and it was just like, ‘Hey, what time are you coming home? Hey, this or that. Just pick this up or pick that up.'”
May 08, 13:18 – Barry texts Salida Stove and Spa about getting the hot tub fixed. "Asking when he could come out to the home."
May 08, 15:43 – Barry’s iPhone receives an SMS message associated with the unknown device This second device was first used on November 30,2019 and was associated with Barry’s iPhone 91 times since then, compared to 1,701 associations with the primary User ID since November 2019.
May 8, 19:06 – Moonlight Pizza and Phone Calls Barry convinces Suzanne to meet him at the Tailwinds site before going to pick up Moonlight Pizza together.
May 08, 21:04 – 20 Facebook friend requests, 3 men named “Jeff.” Barry’s lurking at the River. Barry was asked about his phone pinging down by the river during the Facebook posts on Friday night and asked if he was outside. Barry said, “I could have been. I don’t remember. I chase critters around the house all the time.”
May 09, 00:02 – Incoming call on Suzanne’s phone (PH CAST) Incoming call on Suzanne’s phone (PH CAST)
May 09, 02:07 – Outgoing call on Suzanne’s phone (PH CAST) 02:07 am outgoing call on SM’s phone (PH CAST)
May 09, 06:00 – Barry’s phone received call (PH CAST) 06:00 am BM’s phone received call (PH CAST)
May 09, 06:46 – Barry’s phone registered “Power On” Comes out of Airplane mode.
May 09, 07:19 – Barry’s cell received signal (PH) Barry’s cell received signal (PH)
May 09, 07:22 – 07:39 – Barry at “Tailwinds” worksite Barry’s phone registered locations at his “Tailwinds” work site near Poncha Springs.
May 09, 07:35 – Suzanne texting SO Discussing Sheila's daughters wedding on Sunday.
May 09, 08:00 – MG was with Barry working on the rock beach site until 10am(?). Gentile: “He said that he had to go make the wife happy – do some hiking or biking.”
May 9 – Morning – Suzanne messaging Jeff “He’s still wanting Arizona.”
May 09, 09:50 – Barry to Suzanne: Want to go on hike? *Text Exchange\* Barry to Suzanne: Want to go on hike?
May 9, 2020 – 11:14 – Suzanne received a second password reset message from Facebook Previous reset was while Barry was down by the river on the evening of the 8th.
May 09, 11:15 est. – Barry tells Morgan Gentile he could “bury a body” and it “would never be found.” Gentile: “He seemed stressed. He definitely seemed weird on Saturday.”
May 09, 11:55 – Dead Turkey Hunt or Barry Takes Down His Trail Cameras Barry said he was looking for a turkey that Mallory had shot previously with a bow, but they had never found.
May 09, 13:35 – Barry leaves home again. Checked on job at Kim Gyms
May 9, 13:40(?) – Suzanne texts Libler Guess who is alone again?
May 09, 13:46 – Barry and the backhoe After texting, Barry drove by TK's house to see the backhoe, but did not get back in touch to buy it. In 2018, Barry used a backhoe to dig a large hole in his front yard, fill it with items to include furniture, and cover it over, planting alfalfa on top.
May 09, 13:51 – 14:13 – Barry at DSI, replacing Bobcat blade He was wearing a blue t-shirt and khaki shorts.
May 09, 14:03 – Suzanne sends sunbathing pic to Libler, last proof of life. “Well, look at her. She’s obviously drunk. Look at her eyes. Do you know what drunk eyes look like?
May 09, 14:11 – Suzanne sends last LinkedIn message to Libler: “I’m on wa.” Libler sent response messages at 2:39PM, 2:46PM and 2:47PM that Suzanne did not answer.
May 09, 14:26 – Barry texts Suzanne, “Done headed back.” He texted Suzanne that he was done and was headed home.
May 09, 14:31 – Barry texted Suzanne, “Did you leave.” At 2:31 PM, Barry texted Suzanne, “Did you leave.”
May 09, 14:39 – Libler messages Suzanne, she does not respond. First unread. Messages from LinkedIn show they were talking about how Suzanne is in love with Jeff before she went missing.
May 09, 14:43 – Barry’s phone and F-350, per telematics, arrive at the Morphew residence. "The photo is shown in the courtroom, Suzanne smiling. Truck GPS coordinates show Barry’s truck goes into park at 2:43:59. Phone coordinates show he walks around the house. You can hear a pin drop in the courtroom as tension is high." - Carol McKinley, PH Tweet
May 09, 14:44 – Shooting Chipmunks? Barry had a .22 in the moments when Suzanne ceased the communicate with everyone she loved in the world. Shooting Chipmunks? Barry had a .22 in the moments when Suzanne ceased the communicate with everyone she loved in the world. (See: https://www.reddit.com/SuzanneMorphew/comments/17lfboz/barry_and_the_chipmunks_aa_excerpts/ )
May 09, 14:46 – Libler messages: “Hey … your weather looks great” Second unread. No response from Suzanne.
May 09, 14:47 – Jeff sends another messages to Suzanne with no response. Third unread. Jeff sends last message if the day to Suzanne with no response.
May 09, 16:00 – 17:30 – Defense says Barry was at Salida Stove and Spa Salida Stove and Spa's posted hours have the store closing at 2pm on Saturday. Telematics show Barry's truck in his garage during the time he was supposedly at Salida Stove and Spa.
May 09, 16:44 – Barry parks his truck in the garage. Barry claims to have been loading his truck and cleaning off his workbench. (See: https://www.google.com/maps/d/edit?hl=en&mid=1FSqlFRrywR8FkytAYkNM-bdSxvKVK5MP&ll=39.173623131314%2C-105.63244&z=8)
May 09, 17:33 – Barry’s truck system manually rebooted Barry attempted to disable the trucks GPS and SYNC features.
May 09, 18:40, 18:46 – SO sends two Snapchats to Suzanne that were never opened SO sends two Snapchats to Suzanne that were never opened
May 09, 21:25 – Barry’s truck goes into reverse, backs 96.8 feet down driveway Barry backs 96 feet out of the garage.
May 09, 22:17 – Barry’s Phone Exits out of Airplane Mode Barry's phone comes out of airplane mode at the Morphew residence.
May 10, 02:53 – Outgoing call on Suzanne’s phone Possible glitch.
May 10, 03:25 – 03:48 – Barry’s truck door opened and closed "SA Hoyland noted over eighty events involving the F350 during this timeframe."
May 10, 03:58 – Barry’s phone moves from home to near where Suzanne’s bike found 3:58 am BM cell moves from home to near 225/50 where bike found Carol McKinley PH Tweets (read from bottom tweet up): 431 am 5/10 Barry’s phone goes back into airplane mode at the his home. 5:37 am – morphew turns into buena vista & heads towards broomfield. 538 he texts his mom “happy ... Read more
May 10, 04:10 – 04:23 – Last Activity from Suzanne’s iPhone Sergeant Mullenax asked dispatch to ping the number given for Suzanne’s cell phone. Dispatch informed Mullenax that the cell phone appeared to be off and last known activity was at 4:23AM on the present date, with a general location about 11.5 miles west of a cell tower in Poncha Springs, CO.
May 10, 04:32 – Barry’s Phone Goes Back into Airplane Mode Barry's Phone Goes Back into Airplane Mode
May 10, 04:32 – 05:14 – Chasing Elk, or Staging Evidence? Barry's trip to Garfield adds an approximate five miles each way to his morning trip, and places Barry and his vehicle in the direction the helmet was discarded - west from the bicycle.
May 10, 05:00 – Morgan Gentile Hears Barry’s Truck on Hwy 50 Gentile stated she did not see the truck but that his truck has a very distinctive exhaust.
May 10, 05:14 – 06:56 – Barry on the road to Broomfield. Barry phone exits airplane mode while heading towards Buena Vista, CO.
May 10, 08:10 – Trash Dump #1 – RTD Bus Stop Hwy 36 Agent Grusing: "Yes. He would have time -- with the passenger door opening and closing -- like it would say passenger door opened at 8:10:36 am and then passenger door closed at 8:12:13 am. So it took about a minute and a half and that trash can is only 10 to 15 steps away from where the truck was parked."
May 10, 08:14 – 08:20 Holiday Inn Express, Broomfield. Trash Dump #2 Grusing: "He said he parked there because he hoped someone would come out and he could go in the hotel before checking in and get a free breakfast." (Note: It was mid-COVID lockdown, building capacities were down to single digits.)
May 10, 08:41 – 08:46 – “I made it to Broomfield call me when you get a chance” Barry texts Suzanne.
May 10, 08:46 – Barry carries items into the Holiday Inn Express “If there’s clothes in my truck, there was probably old clothes I threw away.”
May 10, 10:06 – Barry exits hotel room. He's carrying a charcoal long-sleeved shirt, two white bags, and a pair of boots.
May 10, 10:20 – 10:41 – McDonald’s – Trash Dump #3 SA Grusing said Barry had a small item in his hand and used one arm to push it down, then both to push it further down as Barry was shown the photos.
May 10, 10:47 – 11:18 – Men’s Wearhouse Trash Dump #4 Barry was told he was there for about 40 minutes and asked if he remembered what he was doing there. Barry said, “I think I was still cleaning my truck, umm, yeah, yeah I mean, like I said, I just uh, I would, I was probably getting crap out of my truck like I said, which I’ve done my whole entire life.”
May 10, 11:18 – Barry calls MG "Barry called he was out of breathe (sic) panting but fatigue, kind a like hungover but he doesn’t drink, honestly when I hung up I thought to myself he sounded like he had the worst night of his life.” - MG
May 10, 11:23 – 11:36 – Barry back at the HIE Barry carries in disorganized papers in a binder. Carries out an organized binder.
May 10, 11:57 – 12:25 – Barry at the worksite Barry spent 28 minutes removing a few blocks from the wall.
May 10, 12:28 – 12:41 – HIE Trash Dump #5 A camera recorded Barry throwing away: a small item, one white trash bag, larger in size than the previous bags in one hand, a black container, along with a piece of clothing, possibly a camouflage coat.
May 10, 12:42 – 18:03 – Barry remains in his HIE room. ”At 3:30PM, Barry sent an outgoing message to Suzanne 'Call me'"
May 10, 2020 (Time Unknown) – Libler wishes Suzanne a Happy Mother’s Day Commented that it would be a hard day because she missed her own mother.
May 10, 2020 – 15:30 – Barry texts Suzanne from his hotel room. At 3:30PM, Barry sent an outgoing message to Suzanne “Call me”
May 10, 15:50 – 17:45 – Suzanne is discovered “missing” “I’m just so sad and REDCATED and I texted mom for Mother’s Day and she still hasn’t answered and I’m scared her and dad probably got in a big fight and I don’t even know it just made me want to be gone even more because I don’t want to be around them it hurts me and I know if REDACTED is working I might have to be home a lot more and it’ll probably be the worst summer of my life.”- MM2 text.
May 10, 17:55 – 19:10 – Barry leaving Broomfield 6:10 pm - Barry entered the lobby carrying two shovels and placed them beside the front desk. He made subsequent trips, placing more tools in the same spot.
May 10, 19:31 – Chaffee County finds the bike “Something is up with the front tire,” Deputy Brown
May 10, 20:42 – Barry arrives at CR 255 & US 50 "Barry is heard asking if deputies saw any “cats” on the road and a deputy says not recently."
May 10, 21:37 – CCSO Commander Avila brings Barry into the house for scent items. Barry does not call out or look for his wife in the home.
May 10, After 21:47 – Barefoot prints in the Bobcat Bucket Deputy Brown was walking in the driveway when Deputy Defurio told him that there were barefoot marks inside of the bucket on the Bobcat. Deputy Brown went with him to examine and found that the cutting blade on the bucket of the Bobcat appeared to be newly replaced, along with the nuts and bolts.
May 10, 22:00 – MG and JP smell chlorine and have the wrong tools in Broomfield. “It looked like Barry had removed top caps that was it. We also did not have the tools we need like a packer or gravel.”
May 11, 2020 – First Interviews, Puma Path Searched "On May 11, 2020, at about 7:00AM, Barry called Morgan and said that Suzanne was missing and he thought a mountain lion may have attacked her. Morgan explained that Barry was initially crying but then abruptly shifted to the specifics about the Broomfield job."
May 11, 2020 – 14:47 – Libler sends last message to Suzanne. Wishing her well for her scheduled final cancer treatment that day.
May 12, 2020 – 20:00 – Barry found digging in the trash at Poncha Market “He went to write down a description of maybe what she was wearing,” Butala said. “I just thought it was weird because he didn’t explain what the color of her eyes were or her hair or anything about her, like how tall she was or anything.”
May 13, 2020 – Deputy Carricato took photos of scratches on Barry’s left arm and hands. These injuries appeared to be healing, several days old scratches.
May 13, 2020 – Fundraiser created $33,552 raised
May 17, 2020 – 11:13 – Barry’s “plea” video is released on Facebook. “Oh Suzanne, if anyone is out there and can hear this, that has you, please, we’ll do whatever it takes to bring you back. We love you, we miss you, your girls need you. No questions asked, however much they want – I will do whatever it takes to get you back. Honey, I love you, I want you back so bad.”
May 19, 2020 – Interviews, Pneu-Darts, Range Rovers "CCSO Deputy Scott Himschoot was present during the search at 19057 Puma Path, in the laundry room, and was asked to collect a “pneu-dart box, empty,” one plastic hypodermic cover, one Pneu-dart book from safe in garage, one dart from box under bench in garage, among other items. The plastic cover was located by evidence search teams in the dryer, inside of the sheets belonging to REDACTED bed." (At some point we had confirmation of a to-do list Suzanne left including MM1s bedding in hopes that the older girls would spend the night. Cannot remember the source.)
May 20, 2020 – Spy Pen found. "The pen was located in a cloth bin amongst women’s bras. The cloth bin and pen were inside the walk-in closet in the master bedroom, located on the ground level of the residence. Detective Hysjulien located, with the pen, the controller and headphones for playback and a USB cable."
June 1, 2020 – Barry files for guardianship. Within a month of Suzanne’s disappearance, Barry began to liquidate assets.
June 1, 2020 – TD interviews Barry on camera. "So, uh -- we uh --. We had two daughters that were coming home from a trip. And I got a job in Denver that I wanted to get started on on Sunday. Set it up for my work because my rookies are coming in Sunday night. (Unintelligible) Monday but I, being the owner, I wanted to get everything lined up so that (Unintelligible).
June 6, 2020 – Barry closes on IN home. Pockets $750,000
June 25, 2020 – Barry purchases the Longhorn Ranch property for $165,000 Property Address 8366 LONGHORN DR
July 13, 2020 – Barry sells Suzanne’s Range Rover. Leaves Suzanne's sunglasses in the car.
Aug 20, 2020 – Lauren Scharf Interviews Barry “People don’t know the truth, so they’re gonna think what they’re gonna think.”
October 05, 2020 – Barry lists Puma Path home for sale. Originally listed for $1,759,000.
November 2020 – Barry Commits Voter Fraud Barry filled out Suzanne's ballot and mailed it in.
February 17, 2021 – Barry Sells Longhorn Ranch property for $150,000 A $15,000 loss. Same property sold on 04/21/2021 for $175,000, indicating Barry needed the money fast.
March 3, 2021 – 19057 Puma Path sells for $1,625,000. Barry and Suzanne Morphew purchased the home on April 12, 2018 for $1,575,000.
May 4, 2021 – Warrant Issued for the Arrest of Barry Lee Morphew CRS/CHARGE: 18-3-102 (1), (a) Murder in the First Degree, a class 1 Felony, 18-8-610. Tampering with Physical Evidence, a class 6 felony, 18-8-306, Attempt to Influence a Public Servant, a class 4 Felony.
May 5, 2021 – 09:15 – Barry Lee Morphew Arrested for the murder of Suzanne Renee Moorman Morphew "Morphew was arrested around 9:15 a.m. on Wednesday, May 5 near his home in Poncha Springs. FOX31 News has obtained video of the arrest, which shows his truck stopped on the side of the road near several police vehicles. He can be seen standing just off the road with an officer." AA: https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/21065843-21cr78-morphew-redacted-affidavit
August 9-12, 2021 – Preliminary Hearing. Day One: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15wZ86C3zQ6kh9VGOUCJcr0ipCoFeaXkdowmwyaruiIQ/edit?usp=drive_link
Day Two: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QKa1jcH2dAqe9Wezew-KbLCDuicrm1HgfwC4oGwM8Dg/edit?usp=drive_link
Day Three got corrupted so it's gone.
People's exhibit images: https://imgur.com/a/hgvlBUt Defense exhibit images: https://imgur.com/a/VC3ZfUZ
April 19, 2022 - Case against Barry Morphew Dismissed Without Prejudice. Prosecution asked for the case to be dismissed.
May 2, 2023 – Barry files $15,000,000 lawsuit against Chaffee County, et.al. https://www.9news.com/article/news/local/barry-morphew-lawsuit/73-3cea50c2-cdae-4338-8de9-9e113d33db6c
May 8, 2023 – Fraud Lawsuit filed against Barry in Indiana. Property dispute. https://denvergazette.com/news/courts/barry-morphew-sued-fraud-allegations-land-dispute/article_1c7cd90e-f4f5-11ed-9778-47c9c303d16d.html
September 22, 2023 – Suzanne's Remains Found Near Moffat in Saguache County While SCSO was searching for another (unrelated) missing woman. https://www.cbsnews.com/colorado/news/suzanne-morphew-remains-found-colorado-missing-mother-barry-chaffee-county-disappearance/
Sept. 27, 2023 – Autopsy Completed. Awaiting Toxicology. https://cbi.colorado.gov/news-article/suzanne-morphew-autopsy-results-cbi-update-0https://www.cbsnews.com/colorado/news/autopsy-complete-remains-missing-colorado-mom-suzanne-morphew/
April 29, 2024 – Toxicology finds BAM in Suzanne's bone marrow. “Homicide by undetermined means in the setting of butorphanol, azaperone, and medetomidine intoxication.” https://www.scribd.com/document/727780041/Suzanne-Morphew-autopsy-results https://www.cpr.org/2024/04/29/suzanne-morphew-died-by-homicide-with-tranquilizer-chemicals-present-in-body-according-to-autopsy-report/
Complete Case Overview (Official News Reports and Documents)
What Suzanne Left Behind (PH Exhibits)
Suzanne's Texts with SO Sept 2019
Barry's Unstableness: Suzanne's Text Conversion with SO September 1 (PH Exhibits)
Where was Barry on the 9th - Preliminary Hearing Exhibits
Barry and the Chipmunks (AA Excerpts)
Barry's dirty truck and poorly maintained rifle. PH Exhibits
Suzanne's Last Days - Timeline - May 4th - May 9th, 2020
Barry Buries a Body - May 10th, 2020 - Timeline
Barry Busy in Broomfield Part One (Preliminary Hearing Exhibits)
Barry Busy in Broomfield Part Two (PH Exhibits)

Introduction

Christian religious education is defined as the process where by Christian learning takes place. It often involves “teaching which enables practicing Christians to adopt and deepen their Christian belief, values and dispositions to experience and act in a Christian way. It depends to a greater extent on how this process is adopted and practiced in different churches.

Different practices in Christian education in local churches

At some degree of certainty that all Christian churches have a similar aim’s and practices. The liturgical aspect is of paramount importance in the Trinitarian belief and practices in that it serves as introduction to what Christianity is all about. This is where the process of Cognitive learning takes places it involves the worship service where hymns are sang, lessons extracted from the books of the bible are read, sermon often punctuated with exhortation, admonishment and instruction in righteous living is delivered and prayers are said. It also involves the celebration of the holy Eucharist which Jesus Christ himself, recognized as the head of the church, initiated based on experience acquired in the worship service, it can be seen as Christian religious education is a confessional churchly activity of evangelism, instruction and nurture.
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I assure that “Youth are the most critical of all critics when it comes to religion”. Today, common inhabitants do pray and accept the holiness in church for Christ which they are aware that Christ constitutes the sacred bread and wine, but do not entirely act upon worshipping and fail to confront the thoughts and feelings to masses which would spread dignity of godliness among selves. The moral lies in the fact that this creates lackness to reach spiritual beliefs through worship and liturgy resulting in declination the faith which affects the divine nature approaching positivity.
Christian education is a vital important part in youth development. For Christian education to be explored, generation of today should be brought into contact through various practices. In the early centuries, reformers emphasized and trusted true faith and doctrines, to change and reform behaviour as the only solution for salvation in Christian education. Christian school movements prove a challenge as a messenger to convey god’s given mission and honour god.

Traditional approach

This approach was practiced since many decades and is still continued to be practiced which helps in binding and governing the ethics and morality within the religion and belief. Since beginning described, in leaving our homeland to teach the gospels throughout the world through scriptures, god conveyed his message – by sending his son Jesus for us, the Holy Spirit, the Holy Church, and Baptism for building unity.
Christianity consists of three things – Religious faith, way of life and community of mankind towards salvation are most important. The most vital of all belief preached is that there is only one god. The term Christian does not imply on the fact that a Christian should grow up in a Christian community, but precisely accepts Christian faith and belief, follows and leads the path of life on which Jesus walked on and made mankind accept Christian community through involvement and participation physically and mentally, as a result, traditional approach is how the local churches and preachers go about conducting their services. The apostle’s creed was apparently developed to summarize the Christian doctrine for man who baptised himself.

Theological and Biblical approach

This approach is regarded as an abstract discipline which teaches what bible is written. It is the study of god expressing god’s thought. The movement of bible indicates the doctrines to the kerygma to didache, to theological ethics, to revealed truth, to the way of living in Christian community.
God’s salvation to the world, worshipping the holy spirit, baptizing people in the name of god, preaching gospels as the word of god, share Christ’s own body and blood as bread and wine in holy communion, repenting and confessing god’s forgiveness etc are the concepts of theological and biblical foundation to Christian education. Even though mankind is aware but fail to involve due to the increasing evil and greed.
The service is organized to accept the call of god and to love him and others and which aims to gather people to worship him in return allowing him to take control over the world and through his presence spread peace, righteousness, justice, joy and helps in the growth of the life in an individual through increased faith.

Activities organized and performed in different local churches through to these practices

Some churches develop the initiative of the worshippers by confessing their faith in the words of the apostle creed. Each activity is correlated and composes a range of varied elements. Their current activities reflect the lives of an individual and drive them for a purpose through various numbers of activities to attain a better quality of life.
Due to activities, all age group gain variety of skills through many spiritual centred activities. Church acts as an interpreter between god and the worshippers to support in training the composition of these activities which are far more complex to solve a disturbed youth. They have to thereby standardize their curriculum and activities in regards to implement it. Different denominations organize activities to resolve the aim therefore to meet the need of the youth. Curriculum should be more focused than just on providing knowledge.
Activities are necessarily planned to build youth commitment. I believe it is necessary to reach them, i.e. train them to be strong future leaders. They should be kept one step ahead, for their life is very challenging. I believe that the best way to outreach youths mind is to be a youth like them to understand their psychology as it differs from every individual. The same activities do get affected as the youth is choosy and subtle.

Changing activities for tomorrow

Here the question is voiced that, what substantial change can be brought apart from the current activities to eradicate the above upcoming and dynamic problems in nature with respect to behavioural management or of what medication of healing would work out.
I would comment, the activities in the practices should be expanded and conduct likewise programmes workshops on educating purity before marriage, sex, child abuse, exploitation, rape, adultery, adolescence sex, teenage mothers, drugs addiction, aids, and divorce. Workshops, seminars for sex, abuse, peer mentoring, identifying preventive measures instead of curative measures targeting the social, political and the economical factors would be effective for incorporating the overall issues to bring the insight of the good and evil sides of every consequence, discussion on essential real life skills. Our goal is to create “world changers”, inviting the sacrifiers of evil and giving and sharing healthy priorities to save ourselves and the world, before it becomes a terrible fate and a debt for our own selves.
As the world is in unsafe fists of crime, terrorism, corruption, violence, youth have been diverted to a fast-paced and expects instant opportunities. Perhaps, the approaches of these local activities tend to be helpful and may bring positive results but I still feel that there is something missing, to monitor the youth from within. In an article – Practical: The Role of the Full-Time Youth Pastor in the Local Church, by Graeme Codrington, Denomination: Baptist (All), submitted on, May 18, 1997, states that, “In a world that is so busy, and demands so much of all of its inhabitants, young people need a secure environment, where they can experiment and decide who they want to be. They need significant people to be there to help them through this process. They need role models to follow”.
Above statement eventually satisfies the fact that these folks are craving for friendly support socially and for stimulation. Overall factors which conglomerate are peers, parents, teachers, church members and Christian community. All factors rely on one common feature which constitutes leadership. Ironically, most youth do understand the surrounding factors but the factors themselves become tough unknowingly that they can’t quite control the situation which then becomes too late to recover. The task is questioned commonly as what kind of leader a person should be to prove creditability and capability to influence the youth to pursue the direction towards god? In an article again stated by, Graeme Codrington, Denomination: Baptist (All), – Practical: The Role of the Full-Time Youth Pastor in the Local Church, submitted on, May 18, 1997, “Young people are not just “little adults” (cf. Elkind 1984:18). They are complex individuals who are battling to deal with the awesome transformation of their bodies, minds, and emotions. They are in a time of transition and growth, developing from the birthed bundle of potential to a fully integrated, functional member of society. The church is in a unique position to assist in this process”. Church as a role model fosters spiritual growth in every youth making them responsible to participate in Christian faith; she is a sign for an entrance of the god’s kingdom to the world of salvation, repentance, justice and peace to bring equality. She struggles hard and performs her duties wholly and solemnly reminds parents to structure their offspring’s life in Christian formation.
Church members acting as supporters, preach to establish and to promote a platform and share to encourage several types of civic, cultural, religious educational associations. In an article by Arthur Paul Boer – What must a Pastor know? Reflection on Congregational studies defines on writer James Hopewell’s statement saying beyond the embarrassment. “He has also observed that churches are sometimes chagrined by the change of hypocrisy and lament that they cannot measure upto ideals of Christian community”. Writer James Hopewell referred by Arthur Paul Boer notes that Christian leaders are incharge and build a church thereby rise in hypocrites. I observe practically that, though the world is changing, church strategy is also changing in complementing the growth. It still targets the set mission. Even though, somewhere in the corner hypocrites do exist but church leaders aim to find out what is the outcome in the people from the traditional, theological and biblical practices.
Perhaps according my research, I suggest they experiment bringing out good approaches to youth’s growth. Instead of the current activities followed in churches I would want to suggest the approach can be focused to bring in the outcome irrespective to exploration and innovation of ideas and thoughts for internal and external behaviour of an individual related to the surroundings around him, deepening of commitments to the teaching, provide opportunities to analyse socially and theologically and viewing his life in a theological manner. To build a framework of an activity consist of – to have an experience “like us”, to sense new boundaries by exploring new links to every Christian among themselves and to god across social and cultural boundaries.
In addition, exploration and inventive programmes can be executed to judge youth’s spirituality. Daily opportunities resulting in disorientation gets support through mission of god. Integration conceptual activities also can help in building and to capture ‘a born leader’. Church leader serves them as task leaders in the corrosion and freeing the task of a disconnected mind by planning tactics and dividing the burden of other’s through consultation. As the purpose is commitment, to serve the lost, skill based leadership formation training programmes can be organized to develop an effective leader so as to sustain the capability and capacity of the leader to solve the complaints lies in the dimensions of the ability. Workshops on intersections to shape boundaries of an individual and communities through theological and biblical language, symbols, and rituals to attain certain centered objectives.
As growth of globalization is tremendous, these leaders come across and face new opportunities and challenges. I believe they help in building an integral performance in conducting entrepreneurial business-based activities, describing the activities because youth’s mind is business-oriented, therefore the activities are to be structured keeping business in mind involving biblical and theological approaches with the existing resources for a business oriented youth. They tend to produce facilitate management sources to sustain and develop faith and love. When the youth develops a church from within, he will be able to observe and analyse the holistic environment.
The activities require presence of not only church members but also worshippers for youth development in successful implementation of these practices. Some worshippers form in small groups, some large varied to race culture. Arthur Paul Boer also examines simultaneously that when a group of pastors were having service of congregation, one among them exclaimed in deep breath “It showed me I’m not alone”. So often in our churches we berate ourselves for problems we face: not enough men, too few youth, preponderance of a certain race or culture. He is clear with the fact that a single person fails, unity increases strength. We ourselves give birth to a problem and then strive hard to face it because as there are few leaders left to catch a grip to support a large community. Due to less number of youth, less support is achieved to sustain the laws and policies of the church and unable to accomplish god’s mission. It is not only one who contributes but many. Above mentioned statement “It showed me I’m not alone” expresses that each race and culture form their own group; build small churches for their own community within their own boundaries, where god expects togetherness, wholeness. It requires lot of efforts to help small churches grow whereas large church with mass contribution grows as their already exist efforts in large numbers which take over the chained actions for development. Whether single church group or many, big or small, the development is important.
On this contradiction, I would suggest that this also includes that in small group the development is paid more attention and given a close eye, problems are spotted quickly and easily to meet the challenges. No matter how large or small challenges occur, the way we approach it is unique and comprehensive as this brings out effects of development in the youth. Whereas in large it becomes difficult to assist as there are more than one individuals. Due to small groups according to races and culture, differentiation exists. But the important criterion is group commitment and work effort in all sets of practice for congregations in any race or culture for a healthy youth so that to accomplish god’s mission. As a result both objectives are co-related to each other.
To understand the nature of Christian youth it is a very distinguished and a unique phenomenon. Due to the increasing issues of ‘peer pressure’, this has led to the obstruction in the development of youth. There are negative as well as positive aspects of it. Negative aspects influence a weaker mind. It is the most consistent findings revealed in observation. Due to the inquisitive innocence, an innocent becomes a prey of the negative aspect, thereby exploited and develops an evil companionship where he adopts negative qualities and habits. But there is positive aspects as in there are some groups who work towards peer relationship. Here innocent gets an opportunity to identify his fear, weakness and have control over his own power. The peer mentors play the part in organizing programmes to understand the behaviour. They interact with the teens and open lines of communication, build up action plans to change the behaviour by using the discipline skills wherever necessary. As church members play an integrate role, it is a challenge for them to develop the youth and make Christian education reachable to them.
Teachers are responsible preachers. Youth growth depends on a teacher infact they are the true facilitators of our learning, are Baptist figures and true authors of an individual’s life book. They also act as the resource developer and planner setting the curriculum for the healthy growth of an individual, depending how the curriculum is designed with the kind and level of leadership skills to recognize the youth psychology. Parents play a significant role in Christian education. They are the promising leaders which shape up Christianity, infact are the real teachers of Christian education. Parents act as a moral standard and support, therefore can synchronize to their growing youth to be aware from their early hood to gain knowledge in Christian faith and this is done when they themselves too experience a fullness of church.
Misunderstandings and miscommunication between parents and their children are one of the issues which follow breakings in the development of the youth. Due to parent’s own principles, for respect and love of family values often creates harmness to the children’s growth which tempts them to behave against them. Thus youth becomes a totalitarian of his own life by going against the values and ethics and unknowingly gets stucked in the torturous situations. Most Christian youth, fail to act upon the 10 commandments of bible.
I must say, I myself as a youth in my real life experience have observed that the originality of the commandments has changed excessively and replaced with the following:
Thou must worship money
Thou must “lyrically” murder
Thou must have evil possession
Thou must have sex
Thou must enjoy drug addiction
Thou must prosper, worship own self
Thou must not feel guilty
Thou must have no respect for ancestral values
Thou must not serve, sacrifice
Thou must differentiate
Due to the above, youth fails to feel guilty in which guiltness is a part of our conscience creating a false belief system as an obstacle in his maturity and creating structure of his own. Under such circumstances he avoids promoting prayer, sacrifice, grace, redemption, worship and meditation, atonement. Considering money and sex are the only two things reliable to satisfy the needs, creating a limitation and a boundary for establishing personal spiritual growth and development.
In general terms, when the efforts of religious and educational institutions, society lack to perform the planned task for Christian education, a positive approach is expected and constructed to gain knowledge and teaching through parents and teachers. Youth must be aware of guiltiness which is a gift from god to help us in being and doing well.
Still the question is raised in a Journal: Volume 5 Number 4, October 2003 by Author Charlene Tan, “Can Christian teachers and parents teach Christian beliefs without indoctrinating their students and children?”
Yes, they can teach Christian beliefs without indoctrinating their students and children they need to be careful when a child is to be handled as their minds are immature. At times it is difficult to understand them because their way of thinking is varied. Firstly before going to the next process, the first process has to be resolved. As teachers and parents are the role models for the development. In order to develop and understand these three role models should be systematically developed first. Only by abiding this rule, they can achieve the development in child. But the point lies beneath that how teachers and parents can prove themselves as an effective source of development by keeping in mind the relative factor of Child’s mind compatibility and psychology? As there are variations in psychological behavior teachers and parents should be mentally prepared, be changeable and adjustment oriented accordingly.
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The political and current affair of the nation is affected by corruption and evilness rationally which gave birth to vivid factors like jealousy, modesty and so on, making human’s built a tendency to mislead the positive factors. The situations have made the teachers adapt those inequalities within them, affecting the surrounding factors. Parents have too due to their increasing self priority created barriers of understanding among their families.
Many people are often drawn towards the attention of the church because of their felt needs and not for spiritual needs.
For instance, it does occur that why the youth is tuned out of his own way? Even in their interaction with their own members it tends to happen with them that they fail to hear a word said to them – stating “I didn’t hear a word you said?”, even though it is obvious that they have said something relating to us. This proves a kind of negligence in contacting the positive mechanism which grows in the back of our minds. Such system blocks all the wanted and useful messages allowing us to hear and see only what our mind tells us to hear and believe. As this tendency is increased in the youth generation, it is creating gaps between a believer and faith of god.
The question is – How? How can we overcome this problem? Youth have themselves developed a capacity in mind to hear only what pleasures them without taking a decision that whether it is false or truth. My query is – How we can bring these groups of youth closer to god? Unconsciously resulting in unexpected calamities and unknowingly they are unable to repent it wisely. Due to this increasing factor, youth can’t get a grip of effective communication and develop themselves internally. Here the parents then enter the scene to play their role.

The main question lies whether the local churches fulfill and meet to mature disciples in Christian education?

As stated above, ‘youth’ are the most critical of all critics when it comes to religion. In this modern era, youth is distracted to church because they are building castles in air due to the unmaterialistic desire. Youth today have focused their vision to crave success and prosperity for their rising life graph; they exploit their own ones due to greed and selfishness. During the primary phase of struggle and hard work, youth craves to achieve prosperity, at the same time, do thank god and accept his involvement for success, but hand in hand, lack to follow the bibles ethics which says to respect others in and with unity. Due to the competition and growth politically, more often youth seem to push the fellow mates and strive to takeover their place. They themselves are unaware that they give birth to exploitation and inequality. And due to inequality, unity is declined, wherein bible does not specify inequality. In a book source, Pastor – “Rick Warren’ – illustrates in his book – The Purpose-Driven Church -“The issue is church health, not church growth!” declares warren. “if your church is healthy, growth will occur naturally. Healthy consistent growth is the result of balancing the five biblical purposes of the church.”
In addition to this he also declares that “If u concentrate on building people, God will build the church”.
I agree at a certain point with the above statement. I herewith would want to magnify on “How would one build a healthy youth for a healthy church”? In this sense I believe that both are co-related with each other. Again the issue arises in my mind ‘How will the church be healthy if the youth is unhealthy?’ The issue can’t be only concentrated on church. For a church to survive, the basic foundation is the youth and for the youth to be saved and attracted the church has to be healthy. In my knowledge it is a ‘Vicious Circle’.
Local churches upto some extent do specifically fulfill the discipleship through the practices and play a great emphasis in fulfilling and conveying the message of god to us, but still lack to read the minds and bring the youth closer to her, for which she has to upgrade her atmospheric appearance with new packages to reach the youth in a new taste due to the competitive modernism which is hovering on the youth.
The latter part can play the best part coz when first falls in place, everything else falls in place, from the beginning to the end, from all angles in all walks of life. Towards a healthy faith, healthy church can turn and seed a growth of spirituality through which mankind will grow spiritually from within thereby causing church growth.
Author Perry G. Down states in his book – “Teaching for spiritual growth” that ‘how can we best enable Christians to grow towards maturity?’ For this question he suggests three key concepts- ministry, believer, and purpose. But my understanding says that these concepts are incomplete somewhere to create a bond in reaching the results because today’s youth is attracted towards the unrealistic worldly matters, but has resulted in declination towards the god’s spiritual growth. The major role connecting these three concepts is commitment and effort. As the church ministry is the foundation pillar, the main aim is how much measure of commitment is valued and given to achieve the target successfully. Mankind is able to commit only when he chooses the right direction in fear and is able but this is unfortunate as the alien world tend to let us unidentify the type of strategies of growth for maturity. By identifying the type of strategies of growth, we can understand the level of growth required towards maturity at which we can be spiritual. Another reason for in growth is fear. As the youth fears to face unexpected problems, the efforts are less and require the hierarchy’s support.
Author Gary C. Newton stated in his book – “Going towards spiritual maturity” quotes the principle that “God is ultimately responsible for all spiritual growth”. The question arises at this point that if god is responsible for everything, what will be the purpose and role of human? I comment that while god supplies the resources like bible, church, Holy Spirit, baptism, it is also our responsibility to supply effort and commitment to utilize those resources and give results to god. In bible, Paul highlights this principle of his personal lifestyle and in his teachings comparing with the example of a soldier or athlete to illustrate the amount of sincerity and efforts. (1 Corinthians 9:24-27), Paul states that “In a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize”. I herewith conclude in a Christian race all runners (ministry, believers, purpose) will fail to get a prize if there is no effort that is commitment from everyone.
Along with the concept of ministry, believer, purpose; effort is also the key concept and it has to be achieved from the youth as well. A healthy youth will gain efforts only when the growth will favour them from within, when the forces of the ministry believers and youth will collide with each other to form a healthy growth.
This will create a mutual relationship between god’s provisional resources and our active involvement in process which is more clearly in Philippians 2:12-13: “Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is god who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose”. This principle is intricate but the application is clear.
If one is to grow towards maturity in Christ then one must cultivate and demonstrate the efforts with passion, Philippians 2:17-18: ” But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you be glad and rejoice with me”.
Therefore the conclusion lies in the above concept, both; effort of the youth along with the work of ministry, believers proves in the healthiness of the church. In the book “Youth At Risk” by Peter Christian Olsen, 2003, he highlights four basic needs which he has clearly created an awareness of the effects that affects the development of youth:
Acceptance – belonging
New beginnings and second chances – forgiveness
Significance – generosity
Freedom – independence
I agree with his confirmation that he examines in deriving the above developmental needs from the provision of the Almighty’s resources as the absence of these needs do intentionally contribute in how they shape the personality, maturity, responsibility and stability of emotions. He emphasizes Christian community in respond to the needs determining that, the resources will be polishing youth through support during the fear and avoid them from destruction. At times the concepts will be foreign, indigestive for youth because unable to realize its importance. Rather the community need not re-interpret or change the language but simplify their thoughts and improve their visionary and understanding by change in structure through a friendly communication by becoming an effective leader to bridge the gap between the church and the youth. Therefore forces and efforts are needed for decision making which is an effective key in respond to ministry believer and purpose for a possibility of a healthy youth to build a healthy church, which will make the church flourish.

Supporting surveys

According to a survey, some findings proved that church fails to answer every question of the youth.

Q.1 In what way and sense is Christian religion, faith and church viewed by today’s modern youth?

Youth of today’s modern era is firm on the point stating that inspiration is lacked in religion; they feel that the world is divided through religion and is the major factor which is affecting the growth. A 17-year-old Jude from Kent says confidently that “He does not agree with the church who talks on subject morality” and is “Overfilled with traditionality”.
Youth pick their ideas which suit their taste through various religious beliefs. There are few in bunch who strongly believe, there exist only single religion which has controlled the truth. Young generation refer to perform all activities as per their own desire which in return less importance to the religious belief are being given, which gives birth to the side effects of the conduct.

Q.2 Why do young crowd feel that Christianity is not a ‘happening’ cultural activity?

An 18-year-old Marcus said that he left church when he was 15 because the teachings did not amuse him and it did not interest him of anything as a youth.
The major quest, a struggle for a religion is to impose an exertion of force of involvement in terms of attraction. I usually attend church service wherein I find young ones missing the services. I kept questioning myself that, where the young crowd has disappeared? Surprisingly the young ones have taken charge for the attendance of the church. In this consequence the church should give priority to change its curriculum and its way of presenting the services with new attractive packages for enhancement.

Q.3 Are the young preachers practicing different approaches in Christianity declining. What are your suggestions?

As the attendance of the youth in church has declined, but on the other hand people practicing approaches are increasing in numbers. The following is revealed through one of the youths that more the deepening are the studies of the bible, more a person becomes a hypocrite of the Christian leadership and unintentionally accepts and performs the lifestyle of the clergy right or wrong at times unknowingly. In such case, the practices are affected and become different from those which are to be precise. Seen are still some true Christian youngsters who are different in their attitude and conduct, but in spite of such difference, they are not involved into the immorality and violence activities with other youths. They present themselves as they are from a different unknown religion, but practice the religion and it

https://www.marxists.org/archive/mattick-paul/1959/09/nationalism.htm

At the base of the current national aspirations and imperialist rivalries lies the actual need for world-wide organization of production and distribution beneficial to humanity as a whole. First, as the geologist K. F. Mather has pointed out, because “the earth is far better adapted for occupation by men organized on a world-wide scale, with maximum opportunity for free exchange of raw materials and finished products the world around, than by men who insist upon building barriers between regions even so inclusive as a large nation or an entire continent.” Second, because social production can be fully developed and can free human society from want and misery only by international cooperation without regard to particularistic national interests. The compelling interdependency implied in further progressive industrial development if not accepted and utilized for Human ends, asserts itself as a never-ending struggle between nations and for imperialist control.
The inability to achieve on an international scale what has been achieved, or is in the process of being achieved, on the national level-partial or complete elimination of capital competition-permits the continuation of class antagonisms in all countries despite the elimination or restriction of private capital formation. To state it the other way around: because nationalization of capital leaves class relations intact, there is no way of escaping competition on the international scene. Just as control over the means of production assures the maintenance of class divisions, so does control over the national state, which includes control over its means of production. The defense of the nation and its growing strength becomes the defense and reproduction of new ruling groups. The “love for the socialist fatherland” in Communist countries, the desire for a “stake in the country,” as exemplified in the existence of “socialist” governments in welfare-economies, as well as national self-determination in hitherto dominated countries, signifies the existence and rise of new ruling classes bound to the existence of the national state.
WHILE a positive attitude toward nationalism betrays a lack of interest in socialism, the socialist position on nationalism is obviously ineffective in countries fighting for national existence as well as in those countries oppressing other nations. If only by default, a consistent anti-nationalist position seems to support imperialism. However, imperialism functions for reasons of its own, quite independently of socialist attitudes toward nationalism. Furthermore, socialists are not required for the launching of struggles for national autonomy as the various “liberation” movements in the wake of the second World War have shown. Contrary to earlier expectations, nationalism could not be utilized to further socialist aims, nor was it a successful strategy to hasten the demise of capitalism. On the contrary, nationalism destroyed socialism by using it for nationalist ends.
It is not the function of socialism to support nationalism, even though the latter battles imperialism. But to fight imperialism without simultaneously discouraging nationalism means to fight some imperialists and to support others, for nationalism is necessarily imperialist – or illusory. To support Arab nationalism is to oppose Jewish nationalism, and to support the latter is to fight the former, for it is not possible to support nationalism without also supporting national rivalries, imperialism, and war. To be a good Indian nationalist is to combat Pakistan; to be a true Pakistani is to despise India. Both these newly “liberated” nations are readying themselves to fight over disputed territory and subject their development to the double distortion of capitalist war economies.
And so it goes on: the “liberation” of Cyprus from British rule only tends to open a new struggle for Cyprus between Greeks and Turks and does not lift Western control from either Turkey or Greece. Poland’s “liberation” from Russian rule may well spell war with Germany for the “liberation” of German provinces now ruled by Poland and this, again, to new Polish struggles for the “liberation” of territory lost to Germany. Real national independence of Czechoslovakia would, no doubt, reopen the fight for the Sudetenland and this, in turn, the struggle for Czechoslovakia’s independence and perhaps for that of the Slovaks from the Czechs. With whom to side? With the Algerians against the French? With the Jews? With the Arabs? With both? Where shall the Jews go to make room for the Arabs? What shall the Arab refugees do to cease being a “nuisance” to the Jews? What to do with a million French “colons” who face, when Algerian liberation is accomplished, expropriation and expulsion? Such questions can be raised with reference to every part of the world, and will generally be answered by Jews siding with Jews, Arabs with Arabs, Algerians with Algerians, French with French, Poles with Poles and so forth-and thus they will remain unanswered and unanswerable. However Utopian the quest for international solidarity may appear in this melee of national and imperialist antagonisms, no other road seems open to escape fratricidal struggles and to attain a rational world society.
ALTHOUGH socialists sympathies are with the oppressed, they relate not to emerging nationalism but to the particular plight of twice-oppressed people who face both a native and foreign ruling class. Their national aspirations are in part “socialist” aspirations, as they include the illusory hope of impoverished populations that they can improve their conditions through national independence. Yet national self-determination has not emancipated the laboring classes in the advanced nations. It will not do so now in Asia and Africa. National revolutions, as in Algeria for instance, promise little for the lower classes save indulging on more equal terms in national prejudices. No doubt, this means something to the Algerians, who have suffered from a particularly arrogant colonial system. But the possible results of Algerian independence are deducible from those in Tunisia and Morocco, where existing social relations have not been changed and the conditions of the exploited classes have not improved to any significant extent.
Unless socialism is altogether a mirage, it will rise again as an international movement-or not at all. In any case, and on the basis of past experience, those interested in the rebirth of socialism must stress its internationalism most of all. While it is impossible for a socialist to become a nationalist, he is nevertheless an anti-colonialist and anti-imperialist. However, his fight against colonialism does not imply adherence to the principle of national self-determination, but expresses his desire for a non-exploitative, international socialist society. While socialists cannot identify themselves with national struggles, they can as socialists oppose both nationalism and imperialism. For example, it is not the function of French socialists to fight for Algerian independence but to turn France into a socialist society. And though struggles to this end would undoubtedly aid the liberation movement in Algeria and elsewhere, this would be a by-product of and not the reason for the socialist fight against nationalist imperialism. At the next stage, Algeria would have to be “de-nationalized” and integrated into an international socialist world.

1. Read the question first then use case if needed.
   
2. Always check the allergies
   
3. If female, always check pregnancy status if asked to start or change therapy
   
4. For drugs that affect electrolyte levels such as diuretics, ACEi and ARBs always check the lab values. I recommend checking electrolyte levels for all cardiac drugs
   
5. Always look if the clinical lab value is given before going ahead and calculating it.
   
6. To answer SATA questions, go through each option (starting from A then B, then C etc, in that order) and determine if it is T or F. If in the end you have 2 or 4 that is true to what is asked, then go with that. This prevents you from spending too much time on those questions.
   
7. The HIGHLIGHT feature is your best friend, practicing using it before you go into the exam. You can highlight both things in the cases and the question.
   
8. Process of elimination is very helpful when you must make an educated guess. The strikethrough feature helps with that.
   
9. Always re-read the question before clicking next, this important for all questions, but most relevant for calculations.
   
10. Plan out your exam, have an idea of where you want to be in 30- or 60-minutes blocks, that way you are not rushing.
    
11. Work calculations twice! If you happen to know two ways to work a question, use both to check if you get the same answer.
    
12. In the actual exam take your assigned breaks, it does not affect the total time you get to take the exam, and it really helps to just walk away for 10 minutes to clear your head.
    

I (21F) decided to drop out of university a couple of months ago after my third attempt at a degree. Bluntly, I just don’t think the way it works is for me. I’m ADHD/ASD Level 1 and, partially as a result of that, I’m an extremely literal person and I learn through examples of a concept or way of thinking in practice. I had to spend hours and hours of my time a week seeking out examples of every single topic I learnt in a class (say, I was in a class about political theory when I was trying out political science and they mentioned historical relativism, I then had to spend hours searching for examples of historical relativism to understand it). I also struggle a lot with hyper focus and there’d be days where I’d just read without food or even more than one or two bathroom breaks from 8am in the morning to 8pm at night. As you can imagine, I got super burnt out and I’d crash and burn and end up majorly depressed within a year, but then a few months later I’d convince myself that it was just because I didn’t like the material and try again. Thankfully, I finally picked up on the cycle and I walked away for good. Maybe I’ll try again in my mid or late 20s, but, right now, I’m done.
I still live with my parents and, when I told them I dropped out of uni full-stop, they just said: “It’s absolutely fine that you’re not in uni for now, but you need to get a full-time job ASAP if you want to continue living here” and I jumped right on it. My dad works in hospital administration and his manager told him to tell me to send my resume to HR there and they’ll maybe hook me up with something. Within a week, I got an interview with one department that I thought went solidly despite my utter lack of experience in hospitals or even in administration (my only work experience before has been nannying and working in OSHC/tutoring centres casually). The department head called me about a week later saying I wasn’t successful for that particular position but they really liked “my personality” and all my references were great and they were passing my resume onto other department heads.
A couple of weeks later, I got a call from an administration manager that oversaw the hospital’s Brain Injury Rehabilitation Unit and she wanted me to come in and “meet everyone”. I thought this just was code for another interview so I got super prepped and came in ready to be grilled. As it turns out, the manager just met me in the building that all the heads and managers work out of and took me to the unit on the other side of the hospital. I met the head nurse and her and the manager just sat me down and told me all about the unit, warned me about some of the challenges (ward accepts children and seeing brain-damaged children come who have to stay there on their own for an extended period doing rehab with little understanding of what’s going on is, of course, distressing + majority of patients in the ward are young men who sometimes get argumentative and aggressive), assured me that I’d do several weeks worth of training so that I’d feel adequately prepared, allowed me to ask questions and gave me a tour of the entire unit afterwards. In the end, the head nurse said: “Looking forward to seeing on the 27th!” as she said goodbye. I was totally flabbergasted because it wasn’t even an interview - just a good, informative chat.
The admin manager told me as she was seeing me off that I didn’t have to accept the position if I didn’t want it, but I “have the job” and to please let her know within a couple of days what I decided. I have my reservations about how I’ll handle it (I’ve worked with disabled children in tutoring/OSHC but this is a lot different) but I really want to give it a try + I kind of need a job so I called her the next day saying I’d love to take up the position. I’m still kind of in shock. As I said in the title, I basically got offered this job on a silver platter and I’m in absolute disbelief about how this has all happened and how I just suddenly got a job on a random Tuesday. Like wtf?
I got sent some paperwork yesterday about the job and the minimum pay is $2820 a fortnight which is utterly INSANE. No, I’m not going to be rich, but, as someone who’s always worked casually around school and never earned over $700 a fortnight, I still can’t fathom that amount of money. Even after I take out tax, mandatory HECS (student loan system in Australia) repayments and the amount of rent my parents are charging, I’m still pocketing $1800 a fortnight. I can’t even believe it. I didn’t think it was possible for 21-year-olds without a degree to earn that much. I don’t even want to tell anyone around me because I’m afraid it’s some mistake.
I won’t lie. There are some cons. The job is from 7:30 to 3:30 M-F and, because of how far I live from the hospital and the fact that I can’t drive for medical reasons, I’ll have to get up before 5:30 each morning. The admin manager also mentioned to me that the unit doesn’t really ‘do’ overtime and if I clock out after my scheduled finish time, a record of that time is kept and I can eventually apply for an extra leave day with it. Furthermore, as I mentioned above, there’s elements of the job I have mixed feelings about. I have a lot of trouble comforting people, so if a distressed patient or family member approaches me (which, in a brain injury unit, is probably going to be common), I’m not really sure what else to say other than: “Oh… Oh.. I’m sorry… That really sucks… Oh… Oh…” Nevertheless, both of those pitfalls still don’t seem to justify the 72k a year to me… It’s not like I’m literally taking care of these patients, I’m just talking to people coming in and answering emails and phones.
I’m super scared that there’s something that’s being hidden from me and that’s why they were so eager to get me, an inexperienced 21 year old, into the position. I tried to ask my mum the other day: “What if they’re just saying that the patients are ‘argumentative’, but in reality they throw chairs and spit at the admin or you’ll have to pull 11 hour shifts on the regular with no proper overtime or they’ll just leave me in charge of an entire ward and that’s why they’re so desperate to find someone?” My mum told me that I was being ridiculous and I’m “underselling myself” and she’s sure it will be fine… but I’m not 100% certain. I’m sure there has to be at least some level of transparency and professionalism because it’s a public hospital and it’s fully accountable to the government (the Australian health system is reassuring sometimes!), but there’s nothing strictly stopping them from straight up lying about what I’m in for when I start this job.
I really want an objective perspective on this because everyone I’ve personally tried talking about this to has brushed me off and said they’re sure I’ll be great… But I don’t ask if they think I’ll be great, I’m asking if they think this job is straight up too good to be true and they’re just dancing around the question. Randoms, what do you think?

New to AP but was wondering what yall thought of this:
F (physics / foundation)

• I put a lot of time and energy into my physical health. I have a strict routine of working out, have a skincare routine, and a diet I follow. I don’t often try new healthcare shit tho
• I care about my physical appearance quite a bit but in the sense that I wanna wear what I feel is aesthetically pleasing and comfortable. I do take inspiration from trends and have piercings because I think they look good. I love doing physical activity. I lift, box, skateboard, draw, and occasionally play basketball. I went bouldering a couple days ago and I can’t stop thinking about how fun it was. I love nature and animals as well
• I love talking about my personal tastes. What looks good, what tastes good, what feels good, etc. I don’t really explore the personal tastes of others tho but I do notice their outfits and physical appearance all the time. I do like creating a comfortable environment for myself but Idrc about doing it for someone else
• I don’t really care what people think of my style as long as I like it don’t matter what anyone says. I do often think about my health tho. My main fear is taking a couple days off from the gym because I got sick 🤣. I mean I think I welcomes accept criticism of aesthetics but it’s also kinda like it’s my personal taste so why do they care?
• I did enjoy it! I would say comfort and my activities are a big part of my identity fr. Not a difficult topic at all

V (volition)

• I think I can get what a want? But it’s just outta sheer bullheaded determination. I don’t plan and I procrastinate a ton 😂
• My God I hate thinking about the future so hell nahh. I fall into routine hella often. My routine is towards improving health and staying athletic. What makes me start working on a goal is how strongly I want it or feel about it
• I would prefer not to help people because it’s too much work but I do get excited when people ask me for help with starting a gym routine. I wouldn’t call myself a leader, I’d much rather work in a group as equals. I take charge when the group is going nowhere and someone needs to step up
• I know I’m lazy but Idrc tbh. I’m having a good time and I’m slowly working towards my goal so I’m ok. I feel like any talk of my future stresses me out tho so I hate criticism towards it as well. In response to being challenged I angrily assert my boundaries then step away
• Sure I enjoyed the questions but it was definitely tough for me to think about

E (emotion)

• I would consider myself a creative person in that I love art and I can come up with goofy ideas often
• I would say my emotions are part of my decision-making but not more than my routine. Expressing my emotional vulnerability is very difficult to me, makes me hella uncomfortable. I come off as happy and relaxed but occasionally angry when boundaries crossed.
• I mean maybe I subconsciously try to create a positive emotional influence, but I definitely don’t think about it. I don’t like exploring my own emotions, but sure I’m ok with exploring other people’s emotions as long as it doesn’t get too much
• Yeah I’m super uncomfortable with sharing my emotions lol. But I’m not bad at connecting with others on an emotional level. I often just use my routines and physical pleasures to numb myself out from my emotions
• Yeah answering these were cool but slightly difficult

L (logic)

• lol I spend no time researching and studying 😂 Not a fan of it
• I make a few of my own opinions by what makes sense to me. I think I think on my own often, but idk I don’t really pay attention to these things
• I don’t really talk about concepts that often. But with my homies I do often talk about how bogus the government is and how evil the US is
• I don’t think I struggle much about thinking things by myself? But again I really don’t know, not super confident on this. I think I handle criticism about it ok but I’m not sure again 😂
• Yeah it was cool answering these questions but they definitely got me thinking and tryna figure myself out lol

Hi, 26F here and my husband is 26M. No kids. Trigger warning for details of verbal/threats of physical abuse. We've been married since we were 22. I'm posting partly because I feel like I need solidarity/confirmation that it's as bad as it feels.
I've been reading online about abuse and I see a lot of posts about frequent, repetitive instances of abuse. My situation isn't quite like that, but rather he has now had two instances of "blowing up" where he "gets pushed over the edge" (his words, definitely reversing the blame there) and will go on for hours where he's yelling at me, calling me names, and generally demeaning and insulting me personally. It's pretty traumatic and I basically just disassociate and wait for him to be done. I never name call or yell back.
The first time it happened, it was in response to something I did. Basically I shared some details about our relationship with a friend, and he found out. He had asked me before to keep our business between him and I, so he felt very disrespected. I did later apologize for this, I can understand that not everyone needs to know our details and I am okay with respecting this ask, I just slipped up. This disrespect sent him over the edge and he spent somewhere from 1-2 hours straight yelling at me, repeatedly calling me a stupid b*tch and c*nt, and he went through in detail all the things he hates about my personality- insulting my hobbies and interests and so on. Just all around attacks on me and my character. While it was happening I had it fixed in my mind to leave, because obviously he didn't like me very much anymore and also name-calling was something I had previously set as a hard boundary. However, after things calmed down of course it's hard to walk away. He eventually apologized, reflected on his behavior and said it wouldn't happen again.
The second time it happened it was about 6 months later. This time I didn't do anything wrong per se. I had a moment of jealousy: I thought he was getting a little too friendly/flirty with another girl at the bar, and I told him my feelings were hurt about it. He denied and denied and denied, and eventually left me at the bar. I was pissed at being abandoned, and I walked home alone, and when I got home I tried to explain to him why it was so hurtful to me. At some point again something in him snapped. He let himself call me a b*tch and from there it just spirals, calling me every name possible, he tells me to go f*ck somebody new, "leave me I don't even care," and worst of all he repeatedly threatened s*ic*de. It was horrible. Again this lasted for over an hour. Oh and also this time he punched a countertop, a door, and I had been packing for a trip and he threw my open suitcase across the room and threw my clothes across the room. At one point I also got in his way and he did make physical contact with me- I don't think he was trying to hit me but ya know does it really matter lol. Also we have pets and he had no regard for what happened to them in this moment. After he fell asleep I had the pets all packed up and everything to get the heck out of there, but the threats of harm and the fear of being alone and confronting the situation stopped me. I stayed.
A few hours after that he came to me and instead of apologizing he said "there's no justification for my actions but also I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't pushed to my very breaking point" right right
Then a few days later he finally texted me and said "there's no excuse or justification for my actions. can you help me find a therapist?" I want to believe he is serious about changing but there's just so much negative stuff that I feel myself just sort of checking out.
Outside of the outright abuse, the pattern in our relationship recently is that whenever I have an issue and try to bring it up, he denies, and then attacks me in some way by saying I'm too sensitive, and then will use that as a chance to go on long monologues about all the problems I cause in the relationship and the problems I have. I've voiced this to him but he keeps doing it. So I also feel like my issues don't matter and that I'm expected to just sit pretty and be happy.
It's sort of like, though, that I see the "abuse" version of him as somebody else, not his true self, and I just let myself forget it and keep going and hope it doesn't happen again. He was abused and has other issues, and I really do just feel bad for him. Because I can see him become embarrassed with the way he acts and I can't imagine feeling that level of shame/remorse. I don't want my guy to feel that way so I tell myself if I love him through it then he doesn't have to feel that way. IDK and when I think about leaving I can't help but think about pissing off his family. I'm SO scared of what people will think of me. Can I be happy in this situation again? Can he love me and also treat me like this? Does it matter that it's only happened 2 times? I know nobody can answer these questions for me but any insight is appreciated.

The Terran Union Heavy Cruiser, Roanoke, had spent the last 6 months raiding Naalx supply lines in the Flores sector.
They were finally returning to Terran Space for some much-needed refit and some R&R. But first, they were stopping at the Bateri space station orbiting Emsar IV.
She would be meeting a Terran Union squadron to escort her prizes back to the Couster system. 4 freighters, a massive ore hauler, and a damaged Naalx corvette that answered a distress call sooner than expected.
The Roanoke was one of the new Grenville class heavy cruisers, faster and more heavily armed than the other heavy cruiser classes operating as part of a Terran Union fleet.
They were designed as solo raiders able to operate deep in enemy space, raiding enemy supply lines and facilities.
Their design included several newly developed systems, including a new style of radiator for dumping excess heat.
At 500 m long and painted black as night, she was very intimidating to see on visual screens and even more so at close range. Her CrCoNi (chromium, cobalt, and nickel) hull was covered in 12” of ablative armor covered in a black laser-resistant material able to reduce the effectiveness of enemy sensors and target locks.
The experimental Baxter radiators efficiently released excess heat into space but still left them exposed to radiation detection sensors.
Captain Josef Král had been hand-picked to command the Roanoke when she came into service 18 months ago. He was a popular officer with 20 years of combat experience on just about every ship in the Terran Union’s navy.

He’d also provided technical assistance during its design phase so his familiarity with the ship made him the best choice for putting the ship through her paces. This would be the very first voyage behind enemy lines as a raider.
And it’d been a rousing success, hitting targets deep in Naalx space as reprisal for Naalxian raids on Terran border colonies. The First Naalx-Terran war had devastated both species and left them vulnerable to outside forces. The war wasn’t won so much as winding down to a series of raids and counter-raiding. A gentleman’s agreement to prevent raids and border skirmishes from turning into another full-scale war and the earlier consequences.
And Captain Král was very good at approaching that line in the sand without going over it. Several centuries earlier he’d have been a Privateer sailing the oceans on Earth.
This even led to the revival of the old pirate movies of the 20th century but Captain Král preferred likening it to the submarine warfare of the first half of the 20th century. That didn’t stop his crew from giving him a robot parrot.
He claims to hate it but everyone knows he’s been teaching it his extensive vocabulary of curse words, in dozens of languages, that he loved it.
And if you call him out on him walking around with it on his shoulder, he’ll claim he was just humoring the crew.
Captain Král was relieved to see the Terran squadron had arrived before him and ordered his little fleet to dock. It would be good to be able to get off the ship and move around without weapons.
As Captain Král exited the ship, he was surprised to see Commodore Allen waiting for him. It’d been several years since he last saw his friend and previous XO. Taking his prerogative as a Captain, he skipped the formalities, shook hands, and gave Commodore Allen a friendly slap on the back.
“Mike? What the hell are you doing here? This is escort job is for a Lt. to do” He asked
“I was in the neighborhood and volunteered. I wanted to see this new ship of yours and it’s been too long since we got a drink together.” Mike replied
Captain Král took a glance back to his ship and wasn’t surprised to see his current XO, Lt. Commander Nana Ricci had the resupply well in hand.
With a big grin, Captain Král said, “Let me see to my guests and we can see if we can scandalize the ratings like we used to.”
Captain Král approached the waiting station manager. The Bateri bowed in the formal greeting of her people. Not having the tentacles needed to return the bow, he just saluted her.
“Greetings Captain Král of the Terrans, how may we be of service?” The Bateri asked.
“Greetings Ananu of the Bateri. We request the use of your services,” he replied, finishing the ritual greeting.
“I see you returned successful in your raiding,” Ananu said, “How many bunks will you need?”
Unsurprised that the Bateri knew his mission, he replied “ 72 bunks with 3 more for your med bay, if you have the room.”
One of the most important functions provided by the Bateri was allowing for the return of captives taken in raids. This helped to keep things calmer by freely releasing captives to limit the amount of bad blood created during the raids and conflicts.
Crates of supplies, ammo, missiles, and the various other things needed to keep the ship functioning were being transferred from the smaller Terran ships. With her weapon complement being only slightly smaller than a battleship, she could go through a lot of ammunition. Even without being in serious combat, he liked to run frequent gunnery drills. Some Captains would just let their tactical computers handle operating the weapon systems and just have the gunnery crews handle reloads. But some hard lessons taught him that having the gunnery crews able to take direct control, as needed, was essential. He preferred to use up as much ammunition as needed during training to save lives later in combat.
Seeing everything in hand, he walked back to join his friend for a drink. They caught up on the doings of old friends and Mike’s family, toasts to fallen comrades, and eventually to the Roanoke.
‘How did she operate on her first long-range mission?” Mike asked
Taking a moment to organize his thoughts, Captain Král took a sip of his drink. “She handled better than expected. The new engine behaved itself, surprising for being just off the drawing board, the Baxters were damn efficient.”
Taking another sip before continuing, “ We didn’t use the torpedoes or the turreted railguns in combat but the rest performed as expected. That Corvette didn’t stand a chance so we didn’t get a full test of all the combat systems.”
“Going by the number of munitions I brought with me, you’d think I was resupplying a battleship” Mike joked
“Just about,” Captain Král chuckled. “During the design phase, I had to argue for such an increase of armament.” “It seemed to take forever for them to get it through their thick skulls that we’d be out there all alone and couldn’t call for reinforcements.” “So I convinced them to put the 2 particle beam systems in the bow of the ship and give me the 4 torpedo tubes. They had no problem with the pair at the bow but they couldn’t figure out why I wanted a pair aft. I swear I thought about launching them out of a tube.”

“At least they were starting to get it when I up-gunned the turrets to carry two large railguns. They did get upset at wanting to put on a turret in the middle of the ventral side but were relieved I left the other turret on the dorsal side ahead of the command structures”
Commodore Allen asked,” From the glimpse I got as you docked, it looked like you doubled the usual weapon systems?”
“She still has them 10 secondary batteries but I went with dual medium railguns for them” Captain Král replied, “ I put 4 of the quad-mounted autocannons on each side of the ship.”
“ It should let us save wear and tear on the railguns when we catch unarmed ships or against incoming fighters.”
“ I understand and it also saves on missiles, which with 4 heavy and 8 medium is a lot of missiles to carry.” Commodore Allen replied.
“I’ve also heard you were running tests on a more powerful deflector array to do more than just protect against radiation and small debris. Like maybe actual shields that would work on anything smaller than a battleship?”
“Yeah but not with any success,” Captain Král answered, “Anytime we tried to go past the standard low-power output, it played hell with our sensors.”
It was at that moment when Captain Král’s wrist communicator beeped for his attention.
“Just a second Mike,” he said as he keyed the communicator. “ Král, go ahead”
The sound of Lt. Commander Ricci’s voice came through the speaker, “ Priority message from the bridge Captain.”
“ What is the message?” Captain Král asked, not liking the way Ricci’s voice sounded worried
“ Sensor buoy reports large Naalx fleet dropping out of FTL, 2 million km out,” Ricci reported
Commodore Allen gave Captain Král the same concerned look that he was sure was on his face. “How many?” The captain asked
Ricci hesitated for a moment before answering “37 ships with more arriving every couple of minutes.”
Commodore Allen swore
Captain Král looked at his friend, “How long until you get your crews and get out of here?”
Commodore Allen thought for a moment, “ Maybe 20 minutes at the minimum.”
Captain Král muttered to himself, “They’ll be here before that.”
Both men got up, signaled to any of their personnel in the bar, and started out the door. “I’ll buy you the time but I’ll need to undock as soon as I get aboard my ship, maybe I can catch them off-guard. “ Captain Král
Commodore Allen replied, “That’s a suicide mission, there are too many for one ship to handle”
“Yeah, I know, old friend but if I don’t then we all die.” Captain Král explained, “ Do me a favor, I’m going to send you my non-essential personnel, take them and those still on the station with you. Get them home.”
Reaching the hatch to the docking bay, both men stopped to shake hands. “Of course, Josef.” Commodore Allen replied, “But if anyone can find a way out of it, it’s you, my friend.”
After a final salute, both men parted ways to reach their ship. As Captain Král jogged down the docking bay, he sent orders for Ricci to send all non-essential personnel to Commodore Allen and asked if they had sufficient hands to man all combat stations.
Ricci’s reply reassured him, “ Aye Sir, most of the crew on the station are from the 2nd watch, and the few people from the first watch are non-essential.”
“Be ready to launch as soon as I get aboard.” He ordered.
He passed several members of his crew, en route to join Commodore Allen. He stopped to return their salute. At the disappointed look in their eyes, he told them. “I know you don’t want to leave the ship but the Commodore needs some real sailors to get out on time. You know how those logistic guys are. They’ll get lost trying to find their own bridge”
That look reassured them and after a final salute, they headed down the dock to join Commodore Allen
Captain Král reached the cargo ramp and started up it, calling Ricci and telling her to shove off and he’d be on the bridge shortly.
He sprinted down the corridor, leaping over the lower lips of the vacuum-tight doors.
“Captain on the Bridge!” rang out from one of the bridge techs. Aside from the guards and his XO, the rest of the bridge crew kept working. Nodding his approval at their knowing when to discard ceremony for action. He walked over toward his console before speaking.
“What do we have, Lt. Commander?”
Turning to face him, Captain Král could see just how worried she was. “Current count is 48 ships.” Touching the console’s keys to bring up a list of ships before continuing, “ 18 capital ships and a mix of sub-caps, still trying to ID them.”
“They’re just maintaining position for now.” Ricci finished, her voice slightly puzzled.
“They’re waiting for something or someone,” Captain Král answered the unasked question.
“How many crew did we leave behind?”
“641, Sir” the XO replied
“ Helm, are we clear of the station's shielding?”
“Almost Sir,” The helmsman answered.
“Thank you.” Captain Král returned.
Turning to another tech, he said, “Sound Battlestations”

“Sir,” one of his sensor techs spoke up, “We have 2 more ships arriving.”
“ Thank you, Ensign.” Captain Král returned
“What class are they?” Lt Commander Ricci asked
After looking at her monitor again the tech replied, “1 heavy cruiser and something much bigger, waiting for the computer to ID it.”
Captain Král moved to look over the tech’s shoulder before standing up and facing his XO.
“Fleet Command Ship” he informed the tech and his XO.
Lt. Commander Ricci replied, “What the hell is one doing out here?”
“Good Question.” he answered, “And now that the players are on the field, the game can begin.”
Bringing up the sensor information to his console, Captain Král pointed at the enemy fleet. “They haven’t begun to deploy into battle formation yet.”
“That could be our chance.” Raising his head to look at his XO. “If we jump now we can land close and surprise them. After we land, we drive into the center of their formation and head for that big bastard.” He explained
“But Sir, We haven’t fully tested the jump drive!” the XO exclaimed
“No time like the present, “ Captain Král joked

“We’ll let the railguns and autocannon crews pick targets of opportunity, while we engage the command ship with our particle cannons, heavy railguns, and torpedoes,” he stated
“What about its point defense system, won’t it pick off the torps?” the XO asked
“We’re going to launch all the Hammerheads at it. It should overwhelm the system and let the torps through.” He answered before continuing, “I’m going to save the heavy missiles for now.”
“You’ll need to calculate the launch time of the Hammerheads to hit the point defense system as close to the time for the torpedoes to sneak through.” he ordered, “ But not so far they take out the Hammerheads too soon and let them hit the torps but not so close they set them off either.”
Looking at his XO, “You better get down to tactical Nana, this is going to get ugly, and it’s best we split up.” Captain Král commanded
Exchanging salutes, Ricci simply replied “Aye Sir.” and started for the hatch. Just before stepping through, she turned and said, “Good Luck, Sir.
“What’s the status of the Commodore’s squad?” Captain Král asked
One of his communication techs spoke up, “ They need 10 more minutes”
“Let me know the minute they are clear.” Captain Král ordered
Captain Král turned to comms tech and ordered, “Intraship comms if you please ensign”
“Aye sir” the tech replied before turning to his console and speaking into the mic,” Now hear this, Now hear this. Message from the Captain.”
“ Well folks, this isn’t the fight I wanted but this is the fight we got” Captain Král started
“ I’m sure you’ve heard scuttlebutt about the situation but here it is. We are facing a superior force numbering 49 ships. And we need to give the Commodore’s squadron time to go to FTL and get the hell out of here.” he paused before continuing, “ The plan is to mix it up with the enemy at close range. They aren’t in battle formation yet so we can hurt them.”
“Good luck and let’s make them regret fucking with the Roanoke.”
The sounds of cheers came back over the speakers.
“Helm, are we clear of the station shielding?” the Captain asked
At the affirmative given by the helmsmen, he just nodded
Touching a button on his console, he asked, “Are you in place XO?”
“Aye Sir.” the Lt. Commander replied
“ As soon as we land, be ready to open up with the dual and quad mounts.” He ordered
The XO replied with an affirmative.
“Helm, at my command, jump between 25-50 km to the starboard of the fleet.”
“As soon as we land, hard to port and get us in the middle of them. Be ready for rapid maneuvers, maybe we can throw off their laser battery tracking systems. Might let us survive a little longer” Captain Král ordered. “Aye Sir” the helmsman replied
Taking a quick look around to make sure his crew was ready, he turned back to wait for the signal the jump drive was ready.
At the signal, he ordered “Jump”
He felt the ship lurch forward and shudder. It took less than 5 seconds to jump from the station to within the targeted range, but it felt like forever.
And then they were less than 5 km from an enemy battleship.
“Oh shit!” exclaimed the helmsman and steered to avoid it. Captain Král hid a moment of panic with a joke, “ Someone make note that the jump drive targeting system needs work.”
His joke brought a chuckle from his crew and got them back to focus on the taste.
Stabbing a button on his console, he ordered “XO, fire secondary batteries,”
There was nothing to see or hear from the massive volleys of the secondary batteries coming to life. But he knew the gun crews were already raining devastation on enemy warships. “Helm, Hard to Port!” he ordered, not tearing his view away from the main viewscreen.
Captain Král looked at his console at the images sent to the bridge from the various gun cameras.
He could see the flashes of light from projectiles hitting their shields. He watched as other high-velocity projectiles punched through their hulls. He could just make out the impact of the explosive-tipped slugs fired by the autocannons.
Captain Král turned back to the main viewscreen. “Hard to starboard!”
“Head for that big son of a bitch!” he ordered
The Naalx were slow to respond but they began to return fire with some trying to gain some distance to clear the line of fire of other ships. The helmsman’s evasive maneuvers were also giving the enemy’s gunners fits from repeated misses.
But the damage sensors on the armor told of an increasing number of hits as the Naalx began to respond in an organized manner. The resistance coating reduced the damage from the Naalx laser batteries but didn’t completely nullify it. “Helm, get me a clear shot at the command ship.” the Captain ordered
A bright flash to starboard marked the death of an enemy cruiser. Status reports listed 2 sub-capitals holed and venting atmosphere. Dead or damaged, they were out of the fight.
One capital ship was dead in space with another missing its bow.
5 down too damn many to go The captain muttered
He watched and waited, ignoring damage alarms and the occasional shudder as shots began to get through the armor and explosively decompress a compartment when they penetrated the hull.
He finally saw what he wanted, an unobstructed line of fire to the command ship.
His finger smashed down on the console button. “ XO, Launch Torpedoes. Take the gloves off the main batteries. Drop the hammer!”
He watched the glitter of the particle beams as they bridged the gap between the Roanoke and the Naalx ship. In a moment, he caught sight of the torpedoes' thrusters as they left the tubes and picked up momentum. Holes and brief explosions marked the impact of his weapons. But the sheer volume of Naalxian fire was beginning to take its toll. The armor was failing or had failed in over a dozen spots. 3 autocannon and 1 railgun mount were out of commission.
2 minutes after they launched the torpedoes, the sight of more than 100 Hammerhead missiles was marked by the flare of their drives. Another volley of Hammerheads was launched the moment new missiles were lifted into the racks.
Captain Král called down to tactical, “XO, hold off on another volley for hammerheads.”
Checking his console, “Launch Shrikes at targets of opportunity with no shields, rear tubes target enemy capital ships and hope those torpedoes get through.” he ordered.
Multiple small explosions let him know the point defense systems were taking on the Hammerheads. And a moment later, a pair of massive explosions told him the nuclear-tipped torpedoes had hit their target.
“Captain, The Commodore’s squadron has escaped.” one of his techs announced.
“Thank you,” he answered
“Distance to command ship?” he asked
“ 250 km Sir” was the reply
“Helm, continue advancing on the command ship and pass her on our port side. We’ll give her a broadside and go to FTL after we clear.”
A tech from the damage control position spoke up, “Captain! FTL is down and jump drive is destroyed”
“Ahh hell’ cried the Captain.
“Damage report!” he ordered
“ Ventral turret destroyed, railgun mounts 2 and 5 destroyed, mount 9 damaged but functional. Autocannon mounts 11,13, 23 and 25 destroyed. Hammerhead launchers 3 and 8 destroyed.” The tech checked the screen before continuing, “ Explosive decompressions on decks 3 and 5. Explosive decompression in Med Bay. Ablative armor badly damaged and penetrated in around 20 spots. Engine #3 is down. Power unstable in many areas of the ship”
“FTL down, engineering needs an hour to fix. The jump drive is destroyed. Long-range comms are down” The tech finished.
“Casualty reports!” Captain Král ordered
A different tech replied, “249 dead, roughly 800 wounded with 327 too injured to fight.”
“Thank you.” he returned. Doing the math in his head he had just over 1300 combat effective and 482 of those were his Marines, the other 18 were left behind.
After thinking a moment, “Helm, same course as before but since we can’t go to FTL, circle to the aft of the command ship and lessen the incoming fire for the moment”
Looking over to the comms tech, “ Get me the chief engineer on the horn.”
Tapping the switch on the console, he called down to tactical. “ XO, I’m taking us around to the aft of the command ship and play peek-a-boo.”
“We’ll pass on her port side and I want a broadside from all batteries that can hit it and launch half the Shrikes we have left at it.”
“After we get to their rear, target enemy aft batteries, I want them all hunks of twisted metal.” Captain Král ordered
“Aye Sir.” Lt. Commander Ricci replied. “Ammo count update Sir.”
“Go ahead,” he replied
“Only the two forward tubes are loaded, aft tubes empty, railgun and autocannon are down to 30%. Dorsal turret is at 10% but they are working on transferring surviving ammo from the Ventral turret.
We can launch 4 more full racks of Shrikes and 5+ Hammerheads.” She finished
“Understood. Thank you” Captain Král replied
“Captain, Chief Engineer on the line” a tech relayed
“Route it to my console,” he ordered
“ I need you to place charges on the computer core, all the experimental equipment, engines, and fire suppression control. If we go down, I don’t want them getting a damn thing but blood and pain.”
“Aye Sir.” The Chief replied.

Captain Král turned back to watch as the Roanoke passed the command ship to port. He watched as massive explosions rippled across the enemy flank and dorsal surface. They were too close for the point defense to pick off the majority of the Shrikes.
As the Roanoke got behind and slightly below the enemy command ship, she slowed and allowed her surviving batteries to silence the command ship's aft batteries.
Captain Král called down to tactical, “XO, fire half our remaining hammerheads into her engines.”
“Affirmative,” replied the XO
Captain Král watched as the hammerheads impacted the command ship’s engines and saw the thrust nozzles dim as the engines went offline. The enemy batteries stopped firing and she began to drift.
“Helm, get us 500 km from the command ship and line up to fire our last 2 avalanche torpedoes.” Captain Král ordered
“Aye Sir, 500km bow towards the enemy” the helmsman repeated
The Captain called down to tactical ” Nana, We’re positioning the ship to line up the front tubes and we’re going to kill that bastard. Stay on the line and fire on my order.”
“Aye Sir, we’re ready.” The XO answered
“Helm?” Captain Král asked
“ 3 seconds Captain.” the helmsman replied
Captain Král watched and as soon as he got the angle he wanted, “Fire Torpedoes!” he commanded
The whole bridge crew watched and waited for the impact. Both torpedoes struck amidships and tore massive holes in the hull. As they watched, lines of explosions traveled across the hull and began to rip the ship in half. The bridge crew let out a yell and the rest of the ship after the Captain had the information broadcast over the intercom.

“ Helm, get us the hell out of here. Maybe we can outrun the bigger ships and buy time to fix the FTL.” Captain Král ordered
But before the helmsman could act, there was a massive jolt.
“What the hell?” he yelled
A tech answered, “ We were rammed by a Naalx cruiser and several smaller ships are closing in.“
But instead of ramming the Roanoke, they launched breeching pods.
His finger stabbed down to open the intercom. “ All hands, Prepare to Repel Boarders! Security teams, tactical will relay their access position. “ He ordered
He pulled out his sidearm and checked that it was ready. Several other techs did the same, while his security detachment moved to defensive positions to watch the hatch.
“Target those pods!” Captain Král ordered but he didn’t need to say it, his gunnery crews were on it. Here and there a brief flash of light marked the destruction of a pod.

“XO, fire all remaining missiles. Pick your targets,” he commanded “All batteries, open fire.”
He left the tac net open to track the status of the enemy boarding parties.
He listened to the cacophony of noises coming over the tac net.
“Security team alpha to section 7, level 3. Bravo team section 2 level 1, Charlie team section 12, level 5” Lt. Commander Ricci ordered.
“There’s too many, fall back to position 2…” an unidentified voice ordered
Another voice firmly stated, “Hold your ground, nothing gets past us.”
“Theta team down, a handful of Naalx heading for engineering!” a panicked voice exclaimed
And dozens of others just like it, always with the sound of combat in the background.
“Captain, more breaching pods en route!” a tech exclaimed
“Get me the Chief Engineer!” the Captain ordered
At the Chief Engineer’s response, he ordered “Detonate all sabotage charges except the main computer. Set that one on a manual trigger at my console with a 20-minute timer as a backup. And then set the reactors to overload, we’re not going to hold the ship much longer. And set a charge to breach the hull and decompress Engineering as soon as you are clear”
“Affirmative, Captain. She was a good ship” the Chief replied
Turning to his bridge crew, “Give the order to abandon ship. Have all the pods head for the station.”
The Captain called tactical, “Lt. Commander Ricci, all hands abandon ship. Get as many of them home as you can.”
“ I understand, Sir.” She answered, “I’ll see you at the station.” she said hopefully
“I'm afraid not, Nana. I’m the Captain and I’m going down with my ship.” he stated, “And someone needs to make sure they can’t shut down the overload.”
“Transfer all fire controls to my station and get the hell out of here.”
“Aye Sir, It’s been an honor” the XO replied
“The honor is all mine. You are going to make an excellent Captain. Goodbye my friend” Captain Král finished.
His bridge crew tried to convince him to go with them but he declined and ordered security to get them into the escape pods.
Then he sat and watched as his consoles began reporting each pod as it launched. He also kept an eye on his sensors and concentrated fire on any Naalx ship that was moving to intercept the pods. They knew better than to fire on them but nothing said they couldn’t capture them.
He also prepared a probe with all the ship logs and combat data and fired it toward human-held territory. It would run silently until it exited the system and then begin broadcasting a coded signal for pickup.
He was dismayed at how few pods had left the ship and regretted so many young lives had been cut short.
As he saw the last pod clear the battlefield, he sat back for a moment and then triggered the charge on the main computer.
A hard pounding came from the other side of the hatchway. But there wasn’t enough power to open it. He guessed the pinging on the door was them firing their lasers and trying to blast it open.
He wondered if it would work but a huge rumble, a bright flash, interrupted, and the long career of Captain Král was finally over.
News of the Roanoke’s final battle flashed across news channels on hundreds of worlds. Her courageous and foolhardy charge at a superior force. The damage she did to the Naalx fleet before her destruction. How, of the 1859 members of the crew that went into the battle, only 108 survived.
The videos taken from both sides during the battle played over and over again.
How the Naalx picked up all the escape pods and released them on the station immediately.
And even recovered the bodies of any human they found while gathering their dead.
Naalx losses were the command ship, 2 capital ships, 9 sub-capitals destroyed, and a dozen other vessels damaged in one form or another. Naalx casualties were over 50,000 dead
Only the Naalx’s immense respect for courage, audacity, and bravery in the face of danger kept the skirmish from blowing up into a war.
The Naalx rendered full military honors as they turned the Human dead over to Lt. Commander Ricci.
The Captain Král, A Grenville-class cruiser, was launched 2 years later. Captain Nana Ricci in command.
Authors note- I hope you enjoyed this story. It's based on a historical event. Which according to an idiot on youtube is plagiarism.
If you feel like leaving a tip https://ko-fi.com/tomcarey

Enravel (Seattle)
Date of Incorporation: 9/14/2009
Governing Persons: Rony Abovitz (Governor); Scott Henry (Governor); Anastasia Lang; Richard Taylor; Jennifer Fitzpatrick; Joseph Tsai https://www.sos.wa.gov/corps/business.aspx?ubi=602954597
Enravel, which presented at the April Innovation Showcase, followed up the presentations with an update and product demo. The company, led by UW mechanical engineer Brian Schowengerdt [former UW & Microvision employee], has developed a laser-based “pico projector” that could be built into mobile electronics like cell phones, digital cameras, and even eye glasses. The 1 mm x 9 mm projector —about the size of a grain of rice—uses “scanning fiber” technology to then scan an image from the device, and project an enlarged image back onto a larger surface, like a wall. The company, which has put most of its resources into developing the projection technology so far, plans to now turn its focus to streamlining the light source modulator to improve image quality.
https://xconomy.com/seattle/2010/07/15/technology-alliance-showcases-four-new-companies-in-biotech-and-cleantech-and-revisits-one-past-presente2/
Linden Rhoads [at the time Vice Provost-IP, Commercialization, Innovation at the University of Washington] introduced this startup by pulling out her iPhone and iPad (yes, one of those) and talking about the devices’ display capabilities. “These are great, these are fun, but they’re going to be so much more fun when there are projectors available for them,” she said. “That day is very, very close at hand.”
Enravel is led by UW mechanical engineer Brian Schowengerdt, an expert in alternative displays, user interfaces, and human visual perception. He co-founded the company in 2009 to commercialize a laser-based “pico projector.” The idea, he says, is to “take a display of iPad size and compress it into the size of an iPhone.” More specifically, to shrink a projector to “the size of a grain of rice” and use it to project on-screen images, video, games, websites, e-mail—you name it—onto any larger surface.
The core technology is a “scanning fiber” projector that uses fiber optics and a vibrating element to scan an image and blow it up, for example, to a size of 17 inches across from just five inches away. A matchbook-size assembly of laser diodes (off the shelf) provides the light source to project the image. You could imagine such a projector might be crammed into a smartphone and used anytime you want a bigger display to interact with, for reading text or watching a video, say.
Enravel has five employees, and its technology was built over the past few years using $8 million in funding for a related endoscopic imaging project (led by Eric Seibel) and $100,000 in grants. The company expects to finish its portable prototype by next month, and to have a standalone product by the end of next year.
https://xconomy.com/seattle/2010/04/22/technology-alliance-showcases-five-companies-in-sensors-mobile-displays-and-drug-therapies-investors-take-notice/?single_page=true
Thanks to for mentioning Enravel
Jump to Q3 2019
UW Researcher Spotlight: Eric Seibel, Mechanical Engineering Written by CoMotion Staff / September 27, 2019
Eric Seibel: "Scanning Fiber Endoscope: This is an ultrathin and flexible scanning fiber endoscope (SFE) for the early detection and treatment of cancers within the body. The goal is to advance minimally invasive medical imaging by using ultrathin flexible endoscopes that allow access to regions of the body that were previously inaccessible to permit less invasive treatment of cancers before they have spread from their place of origin. It was licensed to startup VerAvanti for medical endoscopes and Magic Leap for AR displays as well as a few other related licenses."
https://comotion.uw.edu/comotion-spotlight-on-a-uw-researcher-eric-seibel/
August 26, 2019 - Veravanti announces a new subsidiary and the opening of a nanofabrication facility
"The opening of the Avanti Nanofabrication facility enables VerAvanti to manufacture its patented Scanning Fiber Endoscope (SFE), a new, extremely small imaging modality designed to access small arteries to illuminate stroke and cardiovascular risks."
https://veravanti.com/news/2019/8/26/veravanti-announces-a-new-subsidiary-and-the-opening-of-a-nanofabrication-facility
Some information on Veravanti in relation to Enravel:
Research: Large field-of-view short-wave infrared metalens for scanning fiber endoscopy Mirror 1 Mirror 2
Near-Infrared Imaging of Artificial Enamel Caries Lesions with a Scanning Fiber Endoscope
Other Scanning Fiber Endoscope Projects
Endoscope Surveilence
SFE For Dental Care
SFE For Bladder Surveillance
The scanning fiber endoscope is an ultrathin and flexible endoscope for the early detection and treatment of cancers within the body. The SFE can be used as a surveillance device with the goal of improving our chances of survival from cancer.
A scanning fiber endoscope is a technology that uses a flexible, small (< 6Fr) peripheral or coronary catheter to provide wide-field, high-quality, full-color, laser-based video imaging. These differences distinguish SFE applications from current imaging approaches such as IVUS and Intracoronary OCT. Applications for the device (which was pending FDA review and approval as of 2017[needs update]), are expected to include medical diagnosis and support in determining interventional treatments such as surgery or biopsy. Providing both full-color images and a wide-field, real-time surgical view into the inner depths of arteries, enables physicians to circumnavigate hard to reach internal tissues to assess for potential disease.
REDMOND, WA (August 26, 2019) – VerAvanti, a developer of a new class of scientifically-advanced solutions to help physicians find answers to treat strokes and heart attacks that often strike without warning, today announced that its new subsidiary, Avanti, has opened a Nanofabrication facility in Bothell, Washington. The facility includes a 9,300 S.F. ISO 9001 cleanroom, the second largest in Washington State.
The first-of-its-kind facility on the Eastside will support high-volume component production of wafers and chips with nanoscale features. Because of the inconceivably tiny parts made from unconventional materials, these components aren’t practical, economical or even possible to fabricate at commercial foundries. The lab capabilities include photolithography, wet and dry etch, atomic layer deposition, Sputtering, Deep Reactive Ion Etching, scanning electron microscopy, Multiphysics simulation, design, and proprietary piezoelectric fabrication. The Avanti Nanofabrication will provide services to VerAvanti and the other businesses seeking these specialized services.
VerAvanti Founder and CEO, Gerald McMorrow explained why VerAvanti launched its new nanofabrication subsidiary. McMorrow stated, “The opening of the Avanti Nanofabrication facility enables VerAvanti to manufacture its patented Scanning Fiber Endoscope (SFE), a new, extremely small imaging modality designed to access small arteries to illuminate stroke and cardiovascular risks.” With the price point advantages this subsidiary enables, VerAvanti is positioning for a highly competitive market launch of its innovative SFE device.
About VerAvanti
Founded in 2013, privately-held VerAvanti is using advanced science and automation to commercialize the world’s first Scanning Fiber Endoscope (SFE)), to help physicians close treatment gaps and proactively identify interventions for the 200,000 individuals (U.S.) who suffer ischemic strokes due to an unknown cause1. Protected by more than 30 patents licensed by VerAvanti, the SFE is a micro-imaging catheter equipped with an extreme depth of focus camera that provides physicians a previously unseen surgical view into hidden intravascular anatomy, enabling more proactive diagnosis and treatment of individuals at-risk for stroke and cardiovascular events. Visit VerAvanti to learn more and review scientific papers and SFE images.
About Avanti Nanofabrication
Avanti Nanofabrication, a subsidiary of VerAvanti, is a nanofabrication facility located in Bothell, WA. The facility includes a 9,300 S.F. ISO 9001 cleanroom, the second largest in Washington State. Lab capabilities include photolithography, wet and dry etch, atomic layer deposition, Sputtering, Deep Reactive Ion Etching, scanning electron microscopy, Multiphysics simulation, design, and proprietary piezoelectric fabrication.
DEVELOPMENTAL STATUS (VerAvanti)
2019:

• August - VerAvanti Announces a New Subsidiary and the Opening of a Nanofabrication Facility

2017:

• June - Awarded $286K NIH Research, Phase 1 Grant. entitled “Optical visualization to efficiently guide coronary intervention of chronic total occlusion”
• May - Awarded $300k NIH Research, Phase 1 Grant entitled “4-Channel Multimodal Ultrathin-Flexible SFE for cancer diagnosis and therapy”
• April – Established in-house MEMS production facility.

2016:

• SFE console design complete.
• Quality system certified to ISO 13485 by Notified Body (DEKRA).
• David Auth, PhD joined VerAvanti board of directors.
• Patent Issued: "Closed Loop Optical Feedback Synchronization System for Imaging Application" (9,258,108)

2015:

• Scale-ready infrastructure, implemented including quality systems, NetSuite ERP, CRM, an accounting system and other automated business processes
• Established Clinical Advisory Board.
• Began development of automated catheter production.
• Identified and retained sales executives for USA and Europe with known track records.

2014:

• Design Concept – Coronary / Peripheral Scanning Fiber Endoscope
• Established manufacturing clean-room environment that operates at Class ISO 8 levels.
• Established corporate offices and R&D center of excellence.

2013:

• VerAvanti Inc. founded.
• Acquired exclusive worldwide rights to license SFE technology, consisting of more than 20 patents.
• Hired core development and engineering staff.
• Established automated document control system.

F20 58kg 172cm
Medications: Sertraline, Ivabradine, Folic Acid Diagnosis’s: POTS, OCD, ?ADHD
I’m posting on here for some help and advice with results from my blood tests. I’ve had at least 10 blood tests and never really had answers for these few abnormal ones. My symptoms are tiredness/fatigue, tachycardia, hypotension, blood pooling (I know these are POTS symptoms but recently they have gotten worse, my heart rate goes up to 190 now which it never used too go higher than 170/180). Looking at my history these have always been abnormal and it’s nothing new BUT has gradually worsened.
Total white cell count: 3.5 10*9/L Normal range: 3.7 to 11.0
Red blood cell (RBC) Count: 3.54 10*12/L Normal range: 3.80 to 5.80
Mean corpuscular volume (MCV): 111.3 fL Normal range: 76.0 to 100.0
Mean corpusc. haemoglobin(MCH): 35.3 pg Normal range: 27.0 to 32.0
Mean corpusc. Hb. conc. (MCHC): 317 g/L Normal range: 320 to 365
Serum folate: Normal range: Above 4.1
13 March 2024 3.5 ug/L 10 November 2023 2.9 ug/L 17 April 2023 2.3 ug/L 28 January 2022 4.6 ug/L 27 July 2021 8.1 ug/L
Serum total bilirubin level: Normal range: 1 to 21
13 March 2024 25 umol/L 17 April 2023 31 umoll
When I ask about my results my GP just tells me that my folate levels are low and i’m on my 3rd 3 month course of folic acid. Does anyone know what the cause for these results may be or how I can fix it? I’m trying to lose weight.

Contact Details for Hiraedu Helper:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
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• Science: Anatomy & Physiology Astronomy Biochemistry Biology Chemistry (General, Inorganic & Organic) Dental / Pre-Dental Earth Science Engineering (Almost All Types) Environmental Science Epidemiology Fluid & Mechanics Geology Geophysics Medicine / Pre-Med Microbiology Neuroscience Physics Physical Science
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TOP 20 REASONS WHY I'M THE MOST LEGIT EXAM, HW, ONLINE CLASS TUTOR ON REDDIT:

1. U.S. Citizenship Status: I have native-born U.S. citizenship status, an 100% authentic & natural U.S. American accent, and a verified New Jersey, USA residence. I can speak on the phone professionally in both perfect native U.S. English and fluent Canadian English.
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7. 75+ Types of Academic Software: I am highly skilled & experienced in using over 75+ types of academic software and educational platforms including the following: ALEKS, Blackboard, Brightspace, Canvas, Cengage, WebAssign, ConnectMath, Crowdmark, D2L, Moodle, Pearson MyLab and Mastering, MyMathLab, MyStatLab, MyOpenMath, StraighterLine, WebWork, and Wiley.
8. Can Change IP Address: I have multiple reliable VPN software including: NordVPN, SurfShark & ExpressVPN that allows me to successfully change my computer’s original New Jersey IP address to any major city in the U.S. & Canada to avoid raising red flags with students’ online class software.
9. Proctored Exam Help: I have developed multiple highly effective methods of helping students with exams, tests, and quizzes that are proctored by software like: Respondus Lockdown Browser with Webcam, Honorlock, Examity, Proctorio, Proctor360, Proctortrack, and ProProctor using 3 highly effective proven methods. Option 1 - WhatsApp: I use WhatsApp to have the student discreetly text me photos of the exam questions outside of the webcam’s view and I text them the correct solutions to the exam questions. Option 2 - Screen Share: Using screen share software like Zoom to see the student’s screen displaying the exam questions and I text the correct solutions. Option 3 - Remote PC Access & Control: Using remote computer access software like to control the student’s mouse and keyboard from my own computer.
10. Study Help Apps: I have over 15+ paid subscriptions to a wide range of study help apps, software, websites, and programs to help me solve exam & homework questions faster and more efficiently. Some of these resources include: Brainly, Chegg, CourseHero, Quizlet, SymboLab & WolframAlpha.
11. Calculators & Math Software: I have access to a very sophisticated graphing calculator and various mathematical software that provides step-by-step solutions to complex mathematical problems within seconds, allowing me to provide exact solutions to the student in a timely manner.
12. Test Taking Techniques: I have developed highly effective methods to determine the correct answers to questions that I’m not already familiar with including process of elimination, working backwards, quickly searching for similar questions online, and utilizing standardized test taking techniques taught only in elite standardized test prep tutoring programs.
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14. Flexible Payment Methods: I offer negotiable rates, multiple payment methods (PayPal, Venmo, Cash App, Zelle, anonymous credit & debit card payments via online invoice), and flexible payment plans: weekly (most expensive), monthly, half-now / half-later, and all-up-front (least expensive).
15. Money Back Guarantee: I have won multiple academic awards for my exceptional skills & expertise in math. I guarantee overall A & B grades for all coursework completed. Plus. I also offer a 50% refund for C+, C, and C- scores, and a full 100% refund for D+, D, D-, and F scores.

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• Exams & Quizzes: Final rates for exams and quizzes depend on various factors including: whether or not there is proctoring, how many hours the exam is, total number of questions including sub-parts, preferred method of me delivering solutions, whether it's show all work or just the answer only, and whether the assessment has a flexible window of time to complete or a fixed & rigid start and end time.
• Full Courses: Final rates for full class help depend all the foregoing plus: total number of hw, quizzes, exams, discussion posts, and other academic tasks left that need to be completed, total number of weeks or modules left in the class to complete, and whether there is required multi factor authentication for logging in like Duo Push or text passcode.
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• Rationale for My Rates: I sincerely believe my rates are more than fair considering my education, skills, native born U.S. resident status, legitimacy, and the substantial amount of value, stress relief, and saved time & energy I’d be providing you in exchange for my valuable, irretrievable time, energy, and effort.
• Disclaimer About Rates: Completing someone else's exam, essay, or homework assignment is obviously NOT something you can just freely ask anyone to do, especially on the internet. Therefore, such help should be well-compensated. Services that are reliable and deliver high-quality results are difficult to find and are very high in demand. Thus, I expect to be compensated fairly for all the value, stress relief, and saved time & energy my services provide. However, I may be willing to negotiate rates if necessary.
• Payment Methods: I accept PayPal (required for all Canadian students), Venmo, Zelle, Cash App, and anonymous credit & debit card payments via online invoice.
• Payment Plans: I offer the following payment plans for my services: weekly (most expensive), monthly, half-now / half-later, and all upfront (least expensive).
• Money Back Guarantee: I guarantee the following grades for coursework completed: A+. A, A-, B+, B. and B-. However, I offer a 50% refund for C+, C, and C- grades, and a full 100% refund for D+, D, D-, and F grades.

CURRENT RATES -- AS OF SUMMER / FALL 2022 -- SUBJECT TO CHANGE:

• Full Class Help Rates: $595 – $2495 USD
• Exam & Test Help Rates: $150 – $350 USD
• Quiz Help Rates: $60 – $180 USD
• HW Assignment Help Rates: $60 – $420 USD
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THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:

• Engage in a Telephone interview: Speak with you on the phone and answer any questions you may have so that you have the opportunity to assess and analyze my tone, articulation, and accent. I’m a New Jersey-born Irish/Italian-American, but I have been told that I speak in an erudite & articulate suburban American accent with a “professor style” voice somewhat resembling the voice of actor: Ben Stein.
• Provide Telephone References: Provide you with the contact information of students who have utilized my services in the past who would be more than willing to vouch for my skills.

MY REBUTTAL TO THE OBLIGATORY “IS THIS A SCAM?” QUESTION:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:

• Not Worth the Money: I certainly wouldn’t do it for such paltry amounts of money. (i.e., anything less than $1,000 per victim.)
• Most Students are Broke: I certainly wouldn’t choose high school & college students as my “target audience” to scam, considering that most people without college degrees have abysmally low annual incomes.
• Waste of Time & Energy: Communicating back and forth with potential clients is an absurdly long time sink since only less than 10% of all potential clients who reach out to me actually become paying clients of mine.
• All My Payment Apps are Still Active: If you pay me to provide academic services and I don’t deliver, you can always dispute the payment with the payment app and easily get your money refunded. If I were in the habit of swindling money from people, then all of my payment accounts would have been investigated and be completely shut down by now.

CONCLUSION:

• My Mission: Thank you for taking the time to read my Reddit post. I take what I do very seriously and I always strive to get the highest possible grades for all students who entrust me with their coursework.
• Closing Words: Please feel free to reach out to me if you're sincerely interested in having help you with your school work. I am available via text, email, and call almost 24/7/365.

Contact Details for Hiraedu Helper:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
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