Hello! I’m writing this because I’ve been struggling my entire life to understand whether or not my parents are favouring my sister or if it’s just in my head.
To get started, ever since we were little she would get everything she wanted after throwing a tantrum, while if I ever dared to do that I would probably end up beaten up.
Now in our adulthood we’ve been having a lot of arguments about what is fair and what is unfair, I started to notice things going more into her favour as I grew up. I’m not sure if this is jealousy from my side or I just wish my parents gave me the equality of what they’ve been given her.
I was admitted to a university in the UK, in the same year she had her 18 year old birthday party. A backstory is that my 18 year old party was literally on a cheap location with just a few friends.
She got herself a custom made dress, a very expensive restaurant and very expensive food, all under the idea that she’s 18 only once. It’s a big deal in my country to celebrate this, but I initially wanted something grand as well, until my mother told me it’s not such a big deal and we should think about our budget first so I’ve done that.
While my sister was enjoying her 8k euros party I was preparing to go into the UK and everyone expected me to find a job within the first month. I received no financial help from my family for the first 3 years I’ve been in the UK all under the excuse that UK was just too expensive for their budget, when in the summer they were making over 200€ per day with their agricultural business. I found out only later that my sister has been spending their hard earned money to go into clubs and expensive parties.
I’m now back from the UK and established with a loving husband and 3 cats that I love dearly. My health has been declining however and me and my husband started struggling financially because of it.
I’ve been asking my family for a bit of financial support in the past month as it doesn’t happen very often that I need help, to which they said they had no money whatsoever and I understood their situation. All until my sister told me she’s going at a wedding, bought another 2k euro dress and left about 1k at the wedding itself.
Am I just jealous or my parents are actually favouring her? It could be both, but I want some outside input.

I lost my grandpa. My relationship with my family is complicated but he was the only person who never hurt me. Some of my earliest and happiest memories include him. He was always excited to see me, we had inside jokes, we were bonded.
A lot of traumatic things happened in our family within two years and they always came to a head around my birthday. My family is also extremely religious and I have been a quiet atheist for a decade. We haven't openly discussed this.
My Papa died 3 days before my birthday. My family held his funeral on my birthday because of the church schedule. They asked if it was okay and I said yes, but what else was I supposed to say? They also included a memory at the end of his obituary about holding hands and listening to his dying wish to see his grandchildren in heaven again. They asked me to read a poem and I somehow made it through it. It was a hard day. The people who paid their respects at his viewing the day before were posting cheerful messages on my social media wishing me a happy birthday. I said goodbye to him.
I've repressed all of this. I feel guilty because being so upset about a birthday is silly in the big picture. I think what has been most difficult has been the passive aggressive cruelness of this all. The antidote in his obituary felt targeted; maybe I'm taking it personally when I shouldn't be.
His birthday was months later. I live almost 2 hours away. They told me about and invited me to the family get together they were having for it the day before.
I'm only just now beginning to process his death. I've lost a significant amount of weight and had to make adjustments to the medications I'm taking to manage my mental health. I've been dreaming of him. I want to hug every man that even slightly reminds me of him. He was my anchor to my family and I'm feeling really alone. I don't feel safe enough to process this with my family. And it feels too late to reach out to anyone else about it. I've never faced a loss this significant before.
I think I just needed to vent. I feel guilty for a lot of the feelings I'm having because I think they are selfish.

To preface I had played Downpour when it came out. I played it on PS3 when I had a subscription to GameFly (good old days) but I never finished it and, in the lead up to 2 Remake I wanted to amend that.
I want to say first thing that’s on my mind. I truly do believe that Downpour is underrated and overhated but I also think that the reception it got in 2012 makes sense. I’ll explain.
The Combat: The gameplay is beautifully clunky. It reeks that old school Team Silent feeling of making the main character seem like an average joe who can barely hold his own. It’s weird and doesn’t always make sense but once you get the feel for it it’s not that bad. Starting out I would try to interrupt the enemies mid swing which often didn’t work, then I moved to defending all their flurries before getting in a couple hits, but I finally learned how to bait the enemies and put them down in seconds. Combat actually has options despite it feeling so hollow on the surface. It’s not some deep mechanical system or anything but I was pleasantly surprised that I wasn’t doing the same strategy the whole game and, yeah, running away was a viable strategy as well which is always nice. I do believe the combat is where 2012 players got fed up though along with two others I’ll talk about next. It’s rudimentary in comparison to games coming out around the time and it’s not exactly satisfying. Yeah I learned to enjoy it but it didn’t stop me from getting tired of fighting the same 3 enemies and I often just started trying to avoid them.
The Graphics: Straight up, the game isn’t pretty. At all. As a matter of fact it’s downright ugly most of the time. Character models aside from Murphy suffer the most they just look wooden and like they’re constantly jittering like they’re barely still attached to the earth. I think this somewhat benefits the game when it comes to the monsters, the screamers in particular, and gives the town and locations this grungy feel to them. This is one of the other sticking points for 2012 players. This was the era when all that mattered was ma graphix people often writing off really good Wii games because they were ugly. Gamers in 2012 were relentless with this. If it wasn’t the most groundbreaking graphical leap it wasn’t worth $60.
The Town: In all honesty the exploration of the city is the very best part of the game, in my opinion. Running around Silent Hill finding Easter Eggs and searching for secret entrances was always a blast to me (The Room Easter Egg is truly special). The last time I’ve played a game whose atmosphere was so thick, so haunting, and so fitting was honestly probably Silent Hill 3. Walking around the city making your way through dilapidated buildings and alleyways just felt so right. The Radio’s you can find around town that play some of the most beautiful and haunting licensed music with the quality you’d expect from a radio like that always made me feel something. My personal favorite was If I Had a Boat in the Bank. My biggest complaint about the city is what I imagine everyone’s complaint is. It’s labyrinthian but it doesn’t have any shortcuts aside from the Subway unlocking which was convoluted to say the least. It could’ve REALLY benefited from a Dark Souls like take on the town where you could open up shortcuts to previous locations but considering Dark Souls was only a year prior that seems unfair. This is where I think 2012 players found their other issue. Traversal is long and tedious. Especially without the subway and with monsters roaming the streets.
The Sidequests: One of the stronger parts of the game for me but one that I only loved because I had a guide to tell me which building was which. If I were trying to remember which specific building held Painting sidequest, or ribbon sidequest ending I would have been roaming for hours. With a guide, not for the puzzles, it’s a breeze and a blast to uncover the many sidequests lying about and the tragic stories that they often tell. One of my favorite parts of the game honestly, the point that I was pretty sad when I ran out of sidequests to find. The fact there are 13 is surprising though as that’s a hefty amount for such a small town.
The Story: The story has a relatively strong hook. The opening to the game is a clever twist on the James archetype but it shows you from the beginning that Murphy isn’t a good guy. He’s not a hero. Sewel is the worst and that’s great. He really is a character that you despise from the get go and is the true villain of the story because of his coercion. Frank is solid but I wish he was present for more of the story since he’s such an integral part of it. The character interactions you have are depressing and weird like they should be. And you’re introduced to the “monster” that will haunt Murphy for the entire game and it’s not what you would expect. While a wheelchair bound monster is unsettling it’s not scary and I liked that. It’s not about the monster marching around trying to kill you like Pyramid Head. The journey from the cable camines to the town is one of my most memorable set pieces from this era.
The Endings: I think this is the one place where the game truly falters. The endings just do not satisfy in my opinion. Especially given the fact that depending on the ending the… past… changes somehow.
Ending A: it’s nice and all that Murphy didn’t kill Frank but the fact he didn’t even kill Napier and Sewel had to finish the job makes the accusations pointed at Murphy for the whole game about him being a murderer makes this ending fall apart.
Ending B: this is the best one. Murphy still doesn’t kill Napier for some reason but he doesn’t kill Frank and Anne, Franks daughter, presumably get her revenge on Sewel
Ending C: Murphy kills Frank and then offs himself which puts him back into a loop that find him in the Lakeside Penitentiary from the end of the game. Basically saying that this ending doesn’t even matter.
Ending D: The Execution one is weird. You randomly show back up at the prison from the beginning and Murphy is blamed for killing Charlie, randomly calls Sewel a cupcake, then fucking dies. What a lad.
Ending E: Just a beautiful farewell in all honesty.
Ending F: seeing Murphy take on the role of Sewel and Anne take on the role of Murphy feels like it could’ve been a whole NG+ moment of its own. It’s neat but it goes nowhere.
So yeah! I quite enjoyed it. Obviously I had my gripes with it but overall it’s definitely worthwhile and worthy of the Silent Hill title. I played it on Series X so I didn’t really experience any glitches like I did on my PS3 in 2012 so I can’t speak on those.
Solid 8/10 for me.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading my long winded review. :)

Welcome to our first discussion of David Copperfield! This week, we will discuss Chapters 1-5. The Marginalia post is here. You can find the Schedule here. The discussion questions are below.
One reminder - although this is a classic novel that has been adapted many times over, please keep in mind that not everyone has read or watched already, so be mindful not to include anything that could be a hint or a spoiler for the rest of the book or for other media related to this novel! Please mark all spoilers not related to this section of the book using the format > ! Spoiler text here !< (without any spaces between the characters themselves or between the characters and the first and last words).
Links of Note:

• Goodreads page
• Storygraph page
• Rockingham Castle and Mr. & Mrs. Richard Watson: Dickens dedicated this novel to the Watsons (link has minor spoilers for Bleak House)
• A David Copperfield Map (zoom in to click on individual locations - beware of potential spoilers, though)
• Get your own Dickens character name! Use this automatic generator or go by your birthday.

Chapter Summaries:
Chapter 1 - I Am Born: David Copperfield launches into the retelling of his life story with that famous line that questions whether he or someone else will turn out to be the hero of his life…but we’ll just have to read the whole thing to find out! Immediately we are let in on the unusual circumstances of David’s birth, which is suffused with superstition, causing the town gossips to speculate wildly. He was born on a Friday night near midnight, which of course means that he’ll have an unlucky life and be visited by ghosts and spirits. (I mean, would this even be a Victorian novel without some ghosts? David assures us that he’s yet to be haunted, though.) He was also born with a caul (inside the amniotic sac) which means he’ll be safe from drowning. This is apparently such great news that they advertise the caul for sale after his birth, but only get one hit on Victorian Craigslist, so they hang onto it until they can put it up for a raffle several years later. David says he remembers that raffle and found it super weird to watch a piece of himself get sold off, which, fair! He does note that the old lady who won the caul died in bed and not by drowning, so I suppose it was worth it?
Anyway, back to David’s birth! His father had been dead for six months on the night of his birth, and his mother was a terrified teenager living alone with Peggoty, her servant-girl, so called because they share the same first name. One Friday afternoon in March, his mother was hanging out by the fire and pondering the likelihood of dying in childbirth, when a formidable woman named Betsey Trotwood showed up at her door. Miss Betsey was his father’s aunt and she loved Mr. Copperfield, but hated her abusive husband, who she paid off to go to India and leave her alone. It worked - he died there! On the night in question, Miss Betsey literally pokes her nose into Mrs. Copperfield’s window and then demands that the pregnant lady get up to let her in. Being a force of nature, she takes charge of the room right away, criticizing the Copperfields’ choice of home (a rookery with no birds?) and making somewhat disparaging remarks about Mrs. Copperfield’s history as an orphan and a nanny. She also declares that the baby will be a girl and demands to be the godmother and namesake so the new Betsey Trotwood (Copperfield) can undo all the mistakes of Great Aunt Betsey’s life. Mrs. Copperfield goes into labor and Miss Betsey stays by the fire, plugging up her ears with cotton. She spends some time mildly abusing Ham Peggoty (the servant’s nephew who was hanging around the house to carry emergency messages) and generally ignoring the doctor. Said doctor, Mr. Chillip, is a gentle man but speaks so slowly that Miss Betsey almost throttles him. When he congratulates her on the birth of a BOY, she smacks him upside the head with her bonnet and leaves immediately, never to darken the Copperfields’ door again! Welcome to the world, David!
Chapter 2 - I Observe: David Copperfield relates some of his early impressions of life: his memories of creepy pantries, stuffy parlors, boring church services, and a loving home. His mother is young and beautiful in these memories, and Peggoty is beautiful to him in her own way (though she insists she is not). One day, Davy's mom shows up with a stranger who walks her home and - gasp! - touches her hand! Davy immediately dislikes this black-bearded, dead-eyed interloper and Peggoty seems to like him even less. He falls asleep while his mother is swooning over her new admirer, but when he wakes up his mom and Peggoty are having a big fight. Peggoty says the new man is bad news and Mr. Copperfield would never approve, while Davy's mom says Peggoty is being unfair and heartless. When all she does is sacrifice for Davy, doesn't she deserve some attention and excitement?! All three of them end up crying, and things are never quite the same between the trio again.
Davy's mom continues to see this man, Mr. Murdstone, who rides up one day and invites Davy to take a little trip with him to see a yacht. Peggoty gets him ready in a huff, and you can just tell this is the Victorian era version of riding on the irresponsible boyfriend's motorcycle without a helmet. Davy gets to meet some friends of Mr. Murdstone and watch them do a bunch of paperwork on the yacht. They also make fun of him, comment on how hot his mom is, and make him drink brandy. Since Davy is a little kid, he thinks they're having a grand time. When he later tells his mom they complimented her looks, she is quite thrilled. And then a few months later, Peggoty invites Davy to go with her to visit her brother for a fortnight. She talks up the trip so Davy will be excited, but it's clear she's worried. Davy wonders how his mom will fare all alone, but Peggoty assures him she will stay with a neighbor. (Lies!) Mr. Murdstone is there to see them off and he has … opinions … about how emotional Davy's mom is during the goodbyes. I'm with Davy when he wonders why it's any of this guy's business in the first place. In retrospect, Davy reflects that he wishes he had known he was leaving something behind forever and he is glad that he and his mom had a touching moment full of love as his carriage pulled away.
Chapter 3 - I Have a Change: Davy endures a very boring journey across flat countryside towards the sea to get to Peggoty’s family in Yarmouth. When Davy complains, Peggoty defends her hometown, as a proud Yarmouth Bloater. (Here's some bonus reading: a Victorian-era article about bloaters.) Davy is won over when they reach the busy fishing town and he gets to see the Peggoty home: it is a boat that has been converted for living, and he thinks it is pretty perfect. It turns out to be a full house due to the generous nature of Mr. Peggoty (original Peggoty's brother). Just don't mention said generosity because it makes him super mad. Mr. Peggoty has taken in the orphaned children - Ham and Em'ly - of his drowned brothers, as well as Mrs. Gummidge, the widow of his fishing partner. Davy's fortnight with the Peggotys is full of happiness. He explores the seashore with Em'ly and falls in love with her. They bond over never knowing their dads, although Em'ly wishes she were a lady in the same class as Davy. Davy reflects that given what he knows of her future life, it might've been better if Em'ly drowned that day by the sea. Dark! Mrs. Gummidge often has melancholy moods where she cries all day and declares she has it worse than everyone else, but the family kindly chalks it up to mourning for her husband and assures her they don't want her to go off to the poorhouse and die.
As the visit draws to a close, Davy realizes he has quite forgotten to miss his home and becomes eager to see his mother and Blunderstone Rookery. Yet when they arrive, Peggoty pulls him into the kitchen nervously. She really botches the delivery of her big news because Davy first thinks his mother may have died and then, when she tells him he has a dad, imagines Mr. Copperfield may have risen from the dead. But she brings him to the parlor to greet his new step-dad: it's Mr. Murdstone, of course. Mr. Murdstone proves himself to be a real downer, kicking things off by correcting Davy's mom (who we discover is named Clara) for jumping up too enthusiastically at her son’s arrival. Davy sneaks away to find that his house has completely changed and the yard has acquired a mean, black dog that snaps at him.
Chapter 4 - I Fall Into Disgrace: Davy has fallen asleep crying after the discovery of his mother’s marriage, and when Clara and Peggoty wake him, his mom blames both Peggoty and Davy for his despair. Mr. Murdstone comes up and dismisses them both so he can be alone with Davy. He explains that if he had a stubborn animal, he’d beat it until it obeyed, strongly implying that Davy had better change his attitude or else. Things get pretty grim for Davy after this. He is kept isolated from both his family and neighborhood children. Mr. Murdstone’s sister, Jane, comes to live with them and immediately takes over Blunderstone. Clara is given no say in household matters: even the keys are kept by Miss Murdstone and, when Clara protests and weeps at being pushed aside, the Murdstones manipulate her into apologies and submission. When the family goes to church, Peggoty is no longer invited and the Murdstones keep Davy and his mother apart; Davy also notices that the family seems to be the subject of much whispering and staring from the community.
Davy’s days are miserable. He is often locked up alone in his room, where he loses himself in his father’s old stash of novels and uses this escape as a survival mechanism. (This collection of novels was taken straight from Dickens’ own childhood, according to his biographer John Forster.) When allowed out of his room, Davy endures lengthy, difficult lessons in the parlor. He suspects the lessons are meant as much to teach his mom the Murdstone tradition of firmness tyranny as they are to educate him. No matter how hard Davy tries, he cannot seem to remember the lessons under such severe supervision. Davy is belittled as stupid for his mistakes and boxed on the ears with his books by Mr. Murdstone. When Clara tries to help Davy at one point, Miss Murdstone catches her, and both Clara and Davy are in a good deal of trouble. Clara is chastised, Davy is removed from the room, and the next day’s lessons are overseen by Mr. Murdstone with a cane and switches. This goes about as well as you would imagine: in his terror, Davy makes more mistakes than ever and is dragged from the room by Mr. Murdstone. To her credit, Clara does protest and try to run after them (unsuccessfully). Mr. Murdstone wields his cane and switches, but Davy bites his hand in an attempt to wriggle away. He then beats Davy severely and leaves him locked in his room for five days. During his imprisonment, Davy sees only Miss Murdstone who brings him meager meals and allows him short walks in the garden each morning and family prayers in the evening, before locking him away again. At the end of this punishment, which feels like years to Davy, Peggoty sneaks to his room to whisper through the keyhole that he will be sent to boarding school in the morning. She tells him his mother isn’t very angry with him, only disappointed, and begs him to remember her and her love for him. She promises to look after Clara and they both vow to write to each other. Davy asks to be remembered to Em’ly and the other Peggotys.
The next morning, his mother expresses her disappointment in his behavior and her hope that boarding school will reform him; Davy seems to realize she has been coached to believe the worst of him. He chokes down a little breakfast before his coach arrives, and Clara steals one unsupervised moment with him to say goodbye affectionately. Then, they are parted, and Davy is on his way to boarding school. It’ll surely be a harmonious and supportive learning environment. Right? Right?!?
Chapter Five - I Am Sent Away From Home: Mr. Barkis, the carrier driving Davy on the first leg of his journey to school, pulls over not too far away from the house. Who should appear out of the bushes but Peggoty! She silently hugs Davy until she pops some buttons of her dress (one of which Davy keeps), hands him some cakes, and slips him a note from his mother that includes two half-crowns. Davy shares a pastry with Mr. Barkis, who asks a lot of questions about Peggoty’s relationship status and cooking skills. He asks Davy to write Mr. Barkis is willin’ in one of his letters to Peggoty, which Davy does at the next stop. As he waits in Yarmouth for the stagecoach to London, Davy eats lunch at a hotel restaurant where he is grifted by the waiter. This unscrupulous man tricks Davy into giving him his ale, most of his food, and some of his money. The rumor goes around that Davy has the appetite of a boa constrictor, making him too nervous to eat at the next stop for supper. Wedged between two men and with a woman’s luggage stuffed underneath him, Davy spends an uncomfortable night in the stagecoach as it approaches London. He finds it strange the next morning, after all the snoring and moaning he witnessed, that the adults insist they were unable to sleep a wink!
Upon arriving at the station in London, there is no one to collect him. Waiting in the office, Davy begins to worry that he will be turned out of the station at night, run out of money and starve, get lost walking home, or have to offer himself as a soldier or sailor (though he knows he is too small for that). Finally, a rather scrawny man - who Davy assumes is the Master of Salem House School - arrives and takes Davy the rest of the way. Weak from lack of food and sleep, Davy begs to stop so he can buy breakfast, and the man takes him to the home of a poor woman (presumably his mother) to cook the provisions they purchase. The man plays the flute very badly as Davy begins to eat, but soon Davy has fallen asleep. He wakes to hear comments of “delicious” which he assumes refers to the man’s music, but I bet indicates they were eating Davy’s breakfast. They continue on to Salem House, where a man with a wooden leg lets them in and throws old boots at Davy’s escort, who turns out to be Mr. Mell, an employee of Mr. Creakle, the school proprietor. Salem House is dilapidated, dirty, and deserted. Davy wonders where everyone is and Mr. Mell informs him that Davy has been sent to school during the holidays as punishment. Another punishment: Davy must wear a sign on his back identifying him as a biter, which makes him increasingly paranoid that someone is always behind him reading it. (Probably not.) He also worries that the students, whose names he can read carved in the doorpost, will all make fun of him for it when they return. (Probably true!) Mr. Mell, an odd man with various ticks, doesn’t pay much attention to Davy, but neither is he mean. We get another ominous reference to the future in that Davy says he dreads the return of boys like J. Steerforth and the presence of “the awful Mr. Creakle”.

Hey guys, I had posted here yesterday about how to say no to a family gathering my mom decided to arrange out of the blue. I am not on good terms with her, am waiting for some explanation of her poor behavior or something. I decided after she disrespected me last time I would no longer be seeking contact with her.
I finally mustered the courage to tell the group chat, “sorry guys I won’t be able to make it for this one, but will see you at blanks birthday soon. Have a good day!”
Now she’s calling me, messaged me on Facebook to call her back later, proceeded to face time my sister in law (I was here with them) mentioned how I didn’t answer her call and I must still be mad at her or something. Thank god my sister in law is so great at navigating the weirdness. She played it so cool giving my mom no feedback, love that. So my main issue right now is I do not wish to call my mom back. The last time we were on the phone together is what started my NC, from her screaming at me. Like lady you don’t deserve a phone call from me, because what, you don’t like my declining of the invitation- it’s all about her- she planned this- blah blah screw you today mom.

Hi! Hope everybody's doing great.
Well, in my opinion, one of the worst parts of dealing with IBS is the social events, like birthday parties and seasonal celebrations, such as easter and christmas...
Just a brief context, i'm from Brazil and here, we have a tradicional celebration on June and it has a lot of typical food. Also, on June we celebrate our Valentine's day. Because of that, i'm feeling worried and sad about myself. I can't enjoy these celebrations as much as i wish and, about our Valentine's Day, i hate when i have to "force" my boyfriend to eat in places i can, even though I know he'd choose another one (he already told me that he doesn't care, he doesn't feel obligated and that he prioritizes my health in our moments together, but even so, the feeling of guilt consumes me and I can't avoid it...)
I believe that if it didn't happen, my life would be 100% better even with IBS.
How do you guys deal with it? I'd love to know more experiences and feelings

What is the deal with people who post on Facebook wishing their dog happy birthday. Your dog does not know that it’s its birthday. Your dog does not even know what a birthday is. Your dog is not checking Facebook. What the fuck is wrong with you.

So, I had been seeing this girl for about 4 months friends for 2 months and dating for 2, good girl I've met in a fat while lol met her family and everything and she met mine. After Valentines the next week we have another small mini date were we went to the mall and gas station and went to a park in the afternoon. Next day she text and I text All fine. Like 4-5 days pass and we haven't texted or called and I wonder if she's ok? so I call her and doesn't answer that night. 2 hours later she posts she's overthinking and posting about it on Instagram notes. I texted her asking what was wrong, but she brushed it off, saying it was just a silly text, which I knew wasn't true. 2 days later I text her saying if she's eaten since she sometimes does eat cause of school and work are so close time wise and takes longer to respond than usual which I found odd.. but thought nothing of it. 3 days later she calls me to play Stardew valley so, we played Stardew Valley, and afterward, she posted again on IG, saying, "I just don't know anymore." I told her we needed to meet and talk but kinda said separate cars since idk why I had a bad feeling.
We met up and talked. At first, she tried to change the subject, but I persisted. Finally, she said she didn't know how if she could add me to her life because of school, family, and friends. It felt like she saw me as an obstacle so i asked and she said no and so I let her talk more. After hearing her talk I had to ask her how she'd feel if I just left or vanished, and she immediately said she wouldn't care, which stung. A few seconds later, she corrected herself, saying she would care. I asked if she wanted to continue what we had or just be friends. She implied friends with benefits, but I told her we would be just friends, nothing more, and she agreed. She also told me not to wait for her and mentioned that I shouldn't have left her alone for too long. She asked me to ignore any texts or calls from her later that night(got a can i take it back it was a mistake IG note that night). She also mentioned how she hoped it ended with like making out and stuff I think she meant make up but man after everything she said u know it hurt and to throw away the letter she gave me and (believe said delete pictures forgot). Despite everything, I gave her a birthday gift and a final kiss since her birthday was coming up. (Ended on good terms)
The next day, I couldn't get our conversation out of my head. It hurt, so I decided, with the help of God, to break it off. Something was telling me it was for the best. I told her I hoped she found someone who could truly make her happy and wished her the best. She cried and thanked me.
The next day, she sent me an apology, saying she didn't want me to deal with her bipolar disorder and her changing feelings about me every day. She said she wouldn't regret being with me and would respect it if I did not be friends and she truly still cares for me and maybe it was for the better. A few days later, I saw her IG notes saying how she hated being bipolar and how "love isn't real (for some)." It didn't make sense to me, but I ignored it. Also she said how shes cold now at night cause apparently she has no heater so I texted her saying if she wanted my jacket back since it was very wooly and told her I didn't want to to suffer in the cold for something trivial and she could have it. She replied no it's fine and it's mine anyways. So I left it at that
We became friends again a few days later inicated by me. She asked me to call her on IG notes. I said I would call at 10, and then she said she didn't want to hurt my feelings anymore. It seemed like she wanted to get something off her chest, but she said no not really. When I called, she hung up and told me to beg. I refused, and she responded by saying, "You're just so cute, I can't stay mad at you," and "your warmth is incomparable." I felt like I was being played with, so I ignored it.
We sent each other a few reels on Instagram, but at the end of the month, I went to the store where she works. I sort of ignored her because she looked busy handling pallets. She posted on IG, "Not even a hello???" I told her she looked busy. A few days later, I went back to the store for snacks for an upcoming road trip. She approached me to say hi, and we looked at each other awkwardly. Two guys started talking to me, and she walked away. When I was done I went looking for her at her department continue talking but she went in and then left kinda fast. Later, I texted her saying I wanted to say hi but those guys interrupted she asked if I had her phone number I said yea but told her idk wat to say to you anymore tho 💀 and so I asked if she wanted to continue playing Stardew Valley, but she said she was busy all day tomorrow so i left it at that. Then, she posted on IG, "I have a stalker," which felt like it was toward me
Idk what she wants
I waited until the next morning, still up so unfollowed her, and went on my trip. Two days later, she liked my pictures with me in it from the trip. And I'm so confused
We also talked about making it official and what not but she said it can't be in this specific month cause it's her birthday month which was kinda weird cause I haven't heard anyone say that but I said ok.. and then there was one instance where she said she can claim me as hers but I can't claim her as mine which made no sense she said it's a girl thing... Which was odd... But Thai was before the whole tip happened

TW: ADDICTION, INFIDELITY, LYING, SA. MENTIONS OF CANCER, RAPE, ABUSE. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THIS WILL UPSET OR TRIGGER YOU.
this will be lengthy and i will try to make as much sense of everything as possible. i want to start out by saying that i am not at all searching for sympathy or validation. i am trying my best to hold myself accountable and to do the right thing. i am hoping that i can be given some sort of guidance and advice.
i (19M) feel like a pretty shitty person. for countless reasons. starting at the age of 11, i lied about my age on social media. i was very much aware that this was wrong, and i still feel deeply ashamed and embarrassed by it all these years later. i was a child, so i feel i can only assign blame to myself beyond a certain point while still acknowledging that my sense of responsibility in such a situation is limited. regardless, this was wrong. what was even worse, is that i kept up this lie for seven years. i had various friendships and LDR’s where people thought i was older than i was. this is so dangerous and puts people in fucking awful situations just because i was selfish. i still regret that.
when i was around 14, i developed a drug addiction. my mother had surgery on her breast due to a benign tumour and she was taking prescription painkillers (opiates) as a result. i would steal these drugs and take them. i feel awful to this day that i did such a thing. stealing from my own mother. her pain relief. i started to spiral into this addiction, primarily as a result of traumas i had suffered as a child (though i do not want to excuse my actions in saying ‘well i have traumas!!!!’ trauma is not an excuse for doing extremely shitty things).
i was told at a really young age (around 5) by a cousin that i was unwanted and my parents are not my real parents. i of course was unaware that i had been adopted by my auntie (who i refer to as my mother). my birth mother is an addict and therefore unfit to care for me. i carried this with me for many years. i survived a terrorist attack when i was 12. i was deeply haunted by this occurrence and i do feel that it was the primary reason that i developed my addiction.
going back to the LDR’s i’ve had, i was awful within all of them. upon developing my drug dependency, i cheated on an ex girlfriend while drunk. i did so with a close friend of mine. i still feel awful about that to this day. the relationship was extremely toxic on both sides, even outside of this occurrence. but regardless, there is zero excuse. i should’ve left as i was unhappy. i should never have cheated.
i had three relationships after this (all were LDR) and i cheated in two of them. both of them with another LDR friend who i later began the third relationship with. he believed me to be older than i was, as did all my former partners. this was my first same-sex relationship, and within it i was sexually abused. i won’t go into detail as to the occurrences, but i will say that i was left so angry and depressed by these experiences. at the same time, i feel that it was my fault for lying about my age. things occurred without my consent and that is still wrong, but i cannot escape the thought that i deserve it for lying.
i met my current girlfriend a year and a half ago. we are LDR. we have been dating for 16 months. from the beginning, i lied to her about my age. i also lied to her about circumstances of my family life. i confessed all of this to her around five months into the relationship. i should never have lied and i am disgusted with myself for that. my girlfriend is the sweetest and most understanding person that i know. when i told her everything, she was of course distraught. i have been in and out of therapy for the last seven or eight years due to mental health issues and trauma and i did my best to work through the reasonings behind these lies that i told. and these were truly awful lies. i said that my mothers tumour was cancerous and she had died. i also said my dad had died by suicide. neither of these lies are true. the truth is (what i uncovered during therapy) that i have been so deeply resentful towards my parents for many years, mainly because of their emotional immaturity and the chaotic upbringing i suffered as a result. my dad has been mentally and emotionally neglectful and abusive for most of my life (though as of very recently he is doing much better). my parents are amazing, they provide for me and i would have nothing without them but i have so much unresolved anger towards them (additionally due to me being trans and my parents not accepting this with my father being extremely transphobic).
i feel wrecked with guilt to this day about these lies. i cannot stomach the thought that my mother would hate my guts if she knew i told such disgusting lies about her. there is no excuse for that. though i feel i should also tell you that i had an ex girlfriend years before all of this when i was 12 who lied to me about having cancer, being r*ped, her doctors telling her she would die on my birthday. just awful things. in retrospect, i am no different from her. i just cannot wrap my head around the fact that i became somebody who hurt me so deeply. i do not know if the reason i did so is because this toxic and disgusting behaviour was so normalised around me - and that does not excuse it. so people endure awful things and do not lie and hurt people as a result.
my girlfriend forgave me for these lies but it has not been easy. we are so deeply in love and happy together, but i am still guilt-ridden. she has offered me so much compassion and i have been so grateful for that. but two days ago, i did something truly awful.
i was out with friends for a close friends birthday. as an addict, i have been sober from drugs for a year and a half and have went through periods of drinking and not drinking. i drank way too much, and i ended up kissing this close friend of mine as well as her other friend. this happened more than once. there were no thoughts in my mind and zero intention or feelings behind these acts, which really only makes things worse. it’s as if my impulse control is nonexistent. my girlfriend is the best thing to ever happen to me and i. cheated on her. i confessed to her in the morning and she was absolutely heartbroken. she has been cheated on before in past relationships and has been physically and mentally abused by exes. she remains such an incredible person which further proves to me that there is zero excuse for these things.
the guilt i feel means nothing because my actions have been continuous and and it seems no matter how hard i try i keep fucking up. every issue in my life is my own fault and i do not know what to do with that anymore. i genuinely feel like the worst person on earth and i’m sure you will read this and believe the same. but i just do not know what to do anymore. am i just an awful fucking person? is there any hope for me in getting any better? i really want to be. i cannot excuse what i have done and i don’t want to live like this anymore. i am sure i will encounter plenty of judgement as a result of this post brut it is well deserved. i am just hoping somebody can give me some sort of guidance. i am going back to therapy and i have decided to quit drinking again. i confessed to my mother about the stealing of her painkillers back when i was fourteen and i told her about the cheating also. she sad that i did the right thing in being honest and acknowledging my issues but i do not feel this is enough. i know i cannot take my actions back but i truly feel some things are inexcusable. i can never trust myself to be a good and honest person even though i try so hard to be. i do not feel worthy of a life. i know if i were in a relationship with somebody who did these things i would hate their guts. i dated a man who lied to me and abused me and. i still feel so much empathy and compassion towards him despite him sexually abusing me. i reached out to him various times with my girlfriends knowledge but also at times without it beggin him to give me a reason as to why he did what he did. i cannot wrap my head around him simply being a bad person. and maybe it’s the same for me. maybe i am just a bad person.
is there any thing that i can do? am i redeemable at all? please respond honestly and do not be afraid to ask questions as i’m sure this is all extremely confusing information. i will do my best to respond to any questions and hopefully i can figure this out. i know it will not be easy but i want to dedicate my time to becoming better. i truly want that to be possible for me. i wish i could take all of this back more than anything i do but i cannot and therefore i need to live with the consequences of my actions and be better. i want to make zero excuses for myself. i want to stop compartmentalising my thoughts and rationalising the awful things that i do. the guilt is eating me up and although i am not afraid to admit to my wrongs i do not feel that is enough for me to suddenly be a good person.
i also forgot to mention that i was recently told i may have cancer due to an abnormal protein level found in my blood and i genuinely feel that it is my karma for lying about this being the case with my own mother. i don’t know if that is even relevant or necessary to say but it’s just so deeply hilarious in the most fucked up way possible. my girlfriend told me that i cannot believe this about myself and that she understands the reasoning behind all that i’ve done though she does not excuse it. i still can’t stomach the idea that i am at all a redeemable or decent person because i have hurt people so much and myself in the process and my continuous attempts to be better lead me nowhere.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Ready_405 posting in AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 2nd June 2024
Update - 7th June 2024
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Am I the asshole for feeling like my eldest daughter should be treated the same as my "real" children?
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When my(M45) daughter(F13) was born I immediately felt that something was obviously amiss. She was blonde haired and blue-eyed, which was extremely unlikely for a child of myself and my ex-wife(f39).
I am very Mediterranean, and I have olive skin, dark eyes, and dark hair. My ex-wife has brown eyes and relatively dark brown hair. Her skin is barely lighter than mine. The baby also clearly bore no resemblance to me or anyone in my family at all. I had been having misgivings about my ex, too, and she seemed too quick to express surprise and make excuses.
Still though, I didn't want to throw away my marriage over what could have been my own misunderstanding of genetics, and so I signed the birth certificate.
I instantly knew that I was going to have a paternity test done, but something else surprised me. When I brought our little girl home, I still fell in love with her. It felt just like bringing my son(M14) home, and, looking at her, I still just saw her as an innocent, beautiful little baby. We bonded.
The paternity test came back negative, as I suspected it would, and I decided that our marriage was over. I still loved our little girl though. My then wife did everything that she could to drag out the divorce and refused to separate or move out.
My daughter's biological father (every bit as blonde and blue-eyed as I suspected)turned out to want nothing to do with her or my ex. He was already married with his own family, and his only focus was preventing the situation from blowing back on himself too much.
My ex went totally nuts when both I and her affair partner rejected her, and she made some very unfortunate decisions. To make a long story short, she ended up with prison time for crimes including identity theft, assault with a deadly weapon, and grand theft Auto, when she stole credit cards and forged documents for both of us, and when she stole her affair partner's car and tried to run him over with it.
I ended up with custody of our kids, with the affair partner never even attempting to establish any kind of paternity rights. I didn't want to press the issue myself, as I couldn't deny that I had bonded with this child, even knowing that she wasn't my real daughter.
I had been shunning my ex-wife as best I could and trying to move on with life after she was finally out of the house, it wasn't long before I got together with and married my current wife(F34), and we've since had another two children. (m10, f8)
My eldest daughter is a total Daddy's girl, and we have a wonderful relationship. She always feels loved, and I treat her the same as my other kids. Even though she obviously stands out, my family accepts her too, or at least that's what I thought.
I work for my father's company, and the other day we were out talking about the future and his will, and he was talking about what money/assets etc He wanted to leave to whom, including his grandchildren, and I noticed that my older daughter had been left out, I mentioned it to him, and he said, "It's nice what you've done for (daughter's name), but you have real children, and obviously they should come first,"
I interrupted him, and I told him that She is my real daughter, and that I thought she should be treated equally. He just paused and looked at me for a moment, and he said, "I guess you feel how you feel," before he noticed I was still about to argue with him and he shrugged and moved the conversation on to things about work and my siblings. I was too polite to try to force the matter at the time, but it sort of stuck with me.
My father isn't the type of man to harp on a point, and I am certain that he's content to have said his piece and would let the matter drop. He could certainly tell that what he said upset me, and so I doubt he'd bring it up again. Frankly, he sort of raised me the same way.
At the time, I was shocked, because he's always seemed to accept my daughter as a part of the family. He buys her gifts for her birthday and for Christmas, and he makes her feel welcome, but, thinking about it, he really is just a kind, polite, and generous man in a lot of ways. He will and has bought Christmas gifts for high school friends or significant others, if he knew they were coming, and the same for other gift-giving occasions. He's generally very hospitable to anyone his friends or family bring around, so I thought that maybe it was just that, and I misinterpreted.
My wife is Asian, and so my eldest daughter always stands out. She's thin, and blonde, and blue-eyed, unlike pretty much anyone else in my family, and she's taller than any of the other girls or even most of the women, really, so I'm aware that she might look like the neighbor kid visiting or something. My wife loves her, and I know that she 100% accepts her as one of our kids, and she has been a great mom / stepmom.
I talked to my own mother, though, and while she's definitely closer to my daughter than my father is (They interact a lot more, and she includes my daughter with the other kids / other girls in family traditions and activities) I got a little bit of the same vibe from her. She was much more diplomatic, but it seems like she may also sort of consider my daughter to be sort of a guest / unfortunate orphan I'm hosting or something like that. She pointed out that I can make my own will however I want.
My daughter knows that she isn't biologically mine. That would have been hard to hide, even if we'd really had the opportunity. She doesn't want anything to do with either of her bio parents though. She's seen her biodad perhaps a handful of times in her entire life, and I don't even think he can remember her middle name. He seems to have pretty successfully kept his family together and his wife from leaving him, but he definitely doesn't want any involvement.
My ex-wife continued to spiral for a long while, and she lives in another state with another man and her own new family at this point. She mercifully rarely makes contact.
I've never really tried to go after either of them for money. I don't need it, and it's not a pot I want to stir.
My siblings are mostly supportive if a little bit mixed on the issue. Some of them say that they could never raise the child of a partner's affair, but all of them say that they love and accept their niece.
I just can't get over the way that I feel distant and upset about what my father said though. He's an extremely kind and generous man, and he's always taken care of his family. He's given me opportunities and a lifestyle that I could never have achieved without him. I love him and I look up to him. Maybe that's why I feel sort of, I don't know, betrayed? It feels wrong that she's the only one of his grandchildren to be left out of his will, apparently because he doesn't consider her a "real" grandchild. Intellectually, I can accept that he's technically correct, but it feels wrong. She is my daughter.
Am I wrong though? Am I just being entitled and unreasonable here? Am I the asshole?
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Comments
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jacobydave
I get why members of your family might consider you foolish for raising the result of you ex-wife's affair, but honestly, it speaks well of your character that you treat her as your own. I wonder if your parents would be similarly non-accepting if you had adopted a child, because, practically, that is what happened. I wish you and your family the best. NTA.
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lawfox32
I think OP should ask his parents that. "If I had adopted a child, would you feel this way about that child? Okay, because that's what I did. I put my name on her birth certificate and raised her knowing she wasn't biologically mine. I adopted her and she's my daughter."
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Live_Western_1389
I agree. And tbh, she was born into your family and you have claimed her as your own child, same as if you’d adopted her or brought her into the world through birth. That’s very important to me. And tbh, anybody that didn’t want to accept that and wanted to treat that child differently from my other kids would not be someone I would want spending much time with any of my kids. NTA. I think you are an amazing dad.
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**Judgement - NTA*\*
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Update - 5 days later
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Just a small update. Thanks for the comments and wishes. It really put a lot of things into perspective and it confirmed to me that I needed to say something.
Some people seemed surprised at the way I let my daughter's bio parents "off the hook", so to speak. The main reason I've never tried to go after My ex or her affair partner for child support is that my daughter is more important than money. I'm not struggling at all, and I have the support I need. More importantly though, I have my daughter. Even though the affair partner didn't apparently want anything to do with her, my lawyer did mention way back in the day that either he or my wife, being her biological parents, could have a strong case for seeking custody.
I know I'm biased, but her bio dad seems like a huge asshole, and I know he doesn't care about her. I wouldn't put it past him to try to get custody just to duck out of paying child support though, if his hand was forced. And the idea of her having to go stay with him is just something I don't even want to think about.
Kind of the same thing when her mom got out of prison. She seemed like she was very quick to go shack up with her new guy, and she seemed willing to let the matter lie, so I did the same.
The fact that neither of them tried to get her, or, in my ex's case, the way she hasn't even bothered to keep much contact with our son either tells me more than everything I need to know about the kind of parents They are / would be. They only seem interested in their pre-existing/new families respectively. I wouldn't want to try to back them into trying to take custody. With my daughter being 13, it's possible that we've sort of "run out the clock" on that matter, but it's still not drama we need or a risk worth taking.
In better and more important news though, I talked with my dad.
I met with my father for lunch, which was easy enough, as he's around most days and we could sync up some time.
I mentioned that I wanted to talk about my daughter not being in his will, and I told him that even if it meant dividing what was being left to me or my other kids, I felt it was really important for her to be included. I also mentioned, as I felt, and as a lot of people pointed out, that it would be devastating for her to find out that she'd been excluded after his death.
My father agreed that that was a really good point, and he said that she is a lovely girl, that he does love her, and that he wouldn't want to add extra pain or bitterness to her life, especially at such a time.
Also, it had gotten around to him that I'd been sort of poling My siblings a little bit, and I think my mom talked to him some, and he said, "This is obviously very important to you. You're my son. I can just change it. It's not so much money anyway." And he was right. The amounts of money being left to individual grandchildren aren't massive, but the gesture and the thought are what's most meaningful. Mostly everything is going to my mom and or us his kids anyway.
Really, there was no reason for me to expect him to have been stubborn or hard-hearted about any of this. It was just something that we needed to talk about.
My father reiterated that Everyone loves my daughter and that she'll always be family and always have a home.
He has a gold bracelet that he has worn somewhat occasionally over the years, and he mentioned that my daughter thought it was pretty. When she was very little, she noticed it on his wrist and said that jewelry was for girls. He laughed and explained to her that sometimes boys wear jewelry too. She thought it was nice and he let her try it on even though it was way way too big for her wrist. She was a little toddler then. I didn't know about that moment between them, and I thought it was really sweet that he remembered. He said that he was going to leave her the bracelet and a note and that as far as money goes she'd get the same share as the rest of my kids.
So we had a nice lunch and we both felt better for it. Nothing too dramatic, but really the best way things could have gone.
Thanks everyone, for confirming that I wasn’t being crazy and confirming that I needed to talk to my father and set things right.
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Comments
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AppropriateArea1716
this is a happy update . your father is a good man and he raised you to be a wondrful man
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StrategyDue6765
Yeah. Glad to hear things worked out well with your dad! Sounds like he's got a good heart and made the right call. Wishing you and your family all the best!
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

I’m in my late 20s and my partner is 30M, his friends are 30-32M and their girlfriends/fiancees/wives are prob like 30+F. They were all a tight knit group until people started planning weddings and getting married etc. I get how that would just naturally change things and also just growing up and dynamics changing so I didnt think much of it. The ladies have always been a little “ladies who lunch” who wish so badly to be a country club trophy wife (but none of them are… and I thought well yes, a lot of us arent nor do all of us want to be??). They are very obsessed with keeping up with the jonses and do the whole “only hang with a group just one on one” thing which has always been odd to me bc its just hard to coordinate with like 3+ couples from a logistical standpoint! I find their conversations to be boring (always about people their wedding, husband, kid, house… how they want to be a SAHM but they cant so theyre upset about it, not being able to afford a house so asking husband to work harder lol, expensive memberships/vacations/purchases etc) just bullshit i dont liek to engage in. Im 28 (really not that much younger) and they always say “oh, youre so young you have time to figure it out” and I thought it was weird how that was “noticed” ?? They bore me and rub me the wrong way so I stopped going to events unless it was a big one like a wedding or my bf really wanted me to go with (he doesnt like the girls either so he usually goes to guys nights).
After I became disconnected, one of them literally made up rumors about me hahahaah and spread it and my bf shut it down and confirmed it was not true but I just laughed at how juvenile the situation was. They refuse to go to dinner with us but they only want 6 people to go on someones boat or 10 people to go to a birthday party where everyone pays for their own tab/services (bowling, golf, ticketed event). Another one tells me God wants me to have kids (gross) and how “your mind will change when youre older” ( HIGHLY doubt that a 2 year age cap would make that huge of a difference but okay).one couple joined a yacht club and invites people every weekend (and if you say no, they will ask someone else after 5 minutes haha) and they will not do anything other than the yacht club (maybe bc its pre paid?) or brunch at the country club. Not my scene and I get motion sickness and I hate golfing so I just dont go bc why would I waste my time and Energy haha and they decline dinner invitations. I get that we all work and are busy and are looking to try to save money in this economy. They then complain they cannot afford to buy a house bu then the wife will say “oh but you know we’ve been working with loan office and realtor and” and its like okay but its been 2 years of this just dont even bring it up if you cant afford right now bc most of us cannot? Then she will say they found a bigger and nicer home to rent for 4000$ (WTF more than a mortgage!). Like an hour outside the city we live in (fine but dont tell me you flush 4k down the toilet every month and cry about the country club and no house. She will say snarky things to her husband if he says they are saving money and say “but you have to pick ONE country club for us still” and it makes me so uncomfortable bu also I judge them for over sharing haha My bf said he thinks that the girls are offended I dont take interest to their invites and what they have and he thought it was funny. It is funny but also kind of a wtf moment
I do not think I’m better than them but I realize how different we are? We all legit grew up in the same county, went to a network of private schools, and this area is very affluent and our parents worked HARD but no one is really the 1% in the group. I moved home with my family bc I was in grad school last year and I am a nurse so I’m literally busy dealing with other people’s crap/personal problems all week so I dont have time to deal with other people’s personal crap on my off days. They’re so appalled that I work a job like that when they all work as well (respectfully, we all work in traditionally pink collar woman jobs like I’m a nurse, the others are admin assistants and teachers so its not like any of us are climbing the corporate ladder) I went to school out of state so I have a lot of wonderful friends who live all around the east coast so they visit here or i sometimes visit them. My job, friend group, is completely different from all of theirs and they all went to school in state and never left. Our lifestyles are different, and im focused on career right now and not marriage and boat/countryclub/vacation/designer bags at this moment. A few of them are genuinely really nice and some are fun at times but in small doses. The yacht girl had an accident and needed urgent surgery on her arm so i reached out and offered to drop off groceries or meal prep company since they have food allergies inthe house and she responded as if she was offended “no its fine my husband just will buy us something every night bc we live new a lot of new restaurants now” HAHA
Not that I’m particularly pressed, I know they will prob stick around since we are talking about getting married. How do you respond to mean girls? Are they jealous? Do I continue to be unbothered? Do i reach out to show I dont hate them? Kill them with kindness? Fly under the radar? Clap back? I take it that mean girls don’t change after 30 either

27M Heading to Hogback in NoVA today. Haven’t paintballed (is that correct?) since I was a kid at a birthday party. Hoping to have a good time and maybe not just fall into a bush lol
Been watching some vids on it and the community seems really chill.
Wish me luck and if anyone’s got some newbie advice lmk.

My (44M) wife (42/F) only gets intimate with me when she’s extremely drunk or my birthday. Background been together 20 years, we have gone thru a lot two kids 12m and 9f more up and down of life, work, starting my own business shit ED for a period of time which I finally got it fix with trt and therapy.
Well during the ED era..the times I tried to have sex with her, she would always would make comments like for what? Is it even going to work, which of course that hurt me even more. Eventually she would even said things like well your out of shape and can’t get up at least give me a hard dick. Ok background, I am very lucky to have very attractive wife, but I have been the same shape since we meet, yes I am not perfect but I am big guy but lately she makes comments that are hurtful. She would make comments about her friends ex husband, because they were having sex few times a week in front my neighbors one night totally embarrassed but she was drunk.. and yes you guessed it and got some that night second time this fucking year. The other time was my birthday in April.
Fuck I want her all the time she tell me to get off trt, now she made the comment about my neighbor son, to my sister and her friend, “ you would know if he was still around he runs in the morning no shirt. “ Fine I get it I don’t have a flat stomach but fucking stop.
I am going thru a lot of family shit right now hosting my sister and kids and work is slow and everything is building up. All I want is to fuck my wife and relaxed, last night I had a few drinks and she did too. We went to bed I didn’t try but I got up a couple hours later and I major hard on that could of cut concrete, I also felt my wife was somewhat awake and she repositioned herself and I have caught her double clicking the mouse before but she denies it so I went for it and put my leg over her and her hand left so fast from her center point and turn sideways she got mad.. I try to explain and showed her I needed some but she refuse she wanted to go to bed … wtf, in the beginning of relationship she told anytime I wanted it to go for it. Now I have to beg for few times a year … I am wrong what is the deal how do I address this with her?
I try to stay away from her and keep my distance because I don’t know what I would say… or do but I am going to blow up…btw all of these great man she wish I was are the same men seeing hookers and cheating on their spouses .. so I guess my dick is not good enough for my wife I don’t know …thanks for any good advise please refrain making jokes on this I just trying to get different points of view.

Hate is ugly

Raffique Shah

Senior Maha Sabha official Vijay Maharaj must be one very disappointed man, mud plastered across his face. According to Maharaj, Planet Earth ought to have shifted its political axis, with cataclysmic consequences, last Tuesday, June 4. But Mother Earth is not known to bow to mankind’s will or wishes, especially if—as seems to have been the case here—they come flashing “power” cards engraved with names such as Maharaj, Modi and Maha Sabha.
What am I griping about today? Maharaj—who was addressing an Indian Arrival Day function in Penal—after cleverly working his script, briefly charted the journey of Indian indentured immigrants in Trinidad from arrival to today. He suddenly and quietly asked his audience about the significance of June 4. I asked around the house if anyone knew of the significance of the day. My daughter said India’s election. As Maharaj continued his script that was laced with ominous warnings about the brewing power of India and Hindus, I linked what she told me to the conspiratorial tone the platform had taken—and I must confess, I almost threw up.
Maharaj was suggesting that when Modi took absolute power in India from the next Tuesday with the requisite majority to change constitutional legislation in India’s parliament, the superpower of Hindus would be unleashed on that huge, religiously diverse and multicultural country, turning it from sectarian to the Hindu Republic of India.
Not only that: Maharaj hinted that he didn’t see a problem with Hindu domination—not just in the East, but in the West also, even going as far as to say that the world would now be run, not from Washington, like it currently is, but from India.
It was at that point that I, listening attentively now, almost threw up. Even before he became prime minister, under his tenure as the chief minister of Gujarat, many Muslims and Christians were slaughtered at the hands of Hindu fanatics, none of whom were ever charged, jailed or executed for their crimes. Are these people trying to export fanaticism to our relatively peaceful country? Here was Sat’s son, appearing to be making thinly veiled threats of Hindu power and dominance of the world including little Trinidad and Tobago.
I know, too, that Maharaj will want to remind readers that I was a licensed mutineer, and in 1970 I mounted a Black Power horse and almost waylaid the Eric Williams-led government. That is par for the political course and for writing on the history. I would be failing in my duties as an independent commentator if I neglect to point out the inflammatory nature of Maharaj’s speech. I have in the past advised local leaders who capture the mood of the people of this country when they have reached the point where “talk done”, “dey ready for action”—I have been there and done that. How well I remember in 1975 when I held a mass meeting at Oropouche#2 Scale junction and a foolish PNM activist attempted to drive through the crowd, hurling abuses at them. Predictably, the angry mob forced him to stop, pulled him out of the driver’s seat and rained blows on him. I knew I had seen his daughter in the car. I took control of the microphone and publicly called on my members to take his daughter to safety and to stop beating him. That is how a responsible leader moves.
And I don’t see that in today’s leaders.
Maybe I saw that because I was a mutineer. Remember, I led a mutiny in which hundreds of weapons and thousands of rounds of ammunition were used and only one soldier lost his life. The “High Command” could have been slaughtered. They were not. Such was the anger among the rebel soldiers, blood could have flowed by the barrel that day; but we were trained soldiers and humane rebels who did not want our country to drown in blood. That saved Trinidad and Tobago from such experience then.
I use this anecdote above to show my bona fides—when I was between 25 and 30 years old, I had seen leaders twice my age abuse the powers that often allow them to grind their opponents into the ground.
I also wish to tell Maharaj that Modi lost big in India because he is promoting religious fanaticism, which the sane and sober voters saw as a level of hate not belonging in India.
It does not belong here, too. Or anywhere else.
Hate is a primitive instinct, which, once unleashed, becomes very hard to unravel.
https://trinidadexpress.com/opinion/columnists/hate-is-ugly/article_e956371a-2602-11ef-9861-0f47a16e6462.html

Backstory:
So, I had been seeing this girl for about 4 months friends for 2 months and dating for 2, good girl I've met in a fat while lol met her family and everything and she met mine. After Valentines the next week we have another small mini date were we went to the mall and gas station and went to a park in the afternoon. Next day she text and I text All fine. Like 4-5 days pass and we haven't texted or called and I wonder if she's ok? so I call her and doesn't answer that night. 2 hours later she posts she's overthinking and posting about it on Instagram notes. I texted her asking what was wrong, but she brushed it off, saying it was just a silly text, which I knew wasn't true. 2 days later I text her saying if she's eaten since she sometimes does eat cause of school and work are so close time wise and takes longer to respond than usual which I found odd.. but thought nothing of it. 3 days later she calls me to play Stardew valley so, we played Stardew Valley, and afterward, she posted again on IG, saying, "I just don't know anymore." I told her we needed to meet and talk but kinda said separate cars since idk why I had a bad feeling.
We met up and talked. At first, she tried to change the subject, but I persisted. Finally, she said she didn't know how if she could add me to her life because of school, family, and friends. It felt like she saw me as an obstacle so i asked and she said no and so I let her talk more. After hearing her talk I had to ask her how she'd feel if I just left or vanished, and she immediately said she wouldn't care, which stung. A few seconds later, she corrected herself, saying she would care. I asked if she wanted to continue what we had or just be friends. She implied friends with benefits, but I told her we would be just friends, nothing more, and she agreed. She also told me not to wait for her and mentioned that I shouldn't have left her alone for too long. She asked me to ignore any texts or calls from her later that night(got a can i take it back it was a mistake IG note that night). She also mentioned how she hoped it ended with like making out and stuff I think she meant make up but man after everything she said u know it hurt and to throw away the letter she gave me and (believe said delete pictures forgot). Despite everything, I gave her a birthday gift and a final kiss since her birthday was coming up. (Ended on good terms)
The next day, I couldn't get our conversation out of my head. It hurt, so I decided, with the help of God, to break it off. Something was telling me it was for the best. I told her I hoped she found someone who could truly make her happy and wished her the best. She cried and thanked me.
The next day, she sent me an apology, saying she didn't want me to deal with her bipolar disorder and her changing feelings about me every day. She said she wouldn't regret being with me and would respect it if I did not be friends and she truly still cares for me and maybe it was for the better. A few days later, I saw her IG notes saying how she hated being bipolar and how "love isn't real (for some)." It didn't make sense to me, but I ignored it. Also she said how shes cold now at night cause apparently she has no heater so I texted her saying if she wanted my jacket back since it was very wooly and told her I didn't want to to suffer in the cold for something trivial and she could have it. She replied no it's fine and it's mine anyways. So I left it at that
We became friends again a few days later inicated by me. She asked me to call her on IG notes. I said I would call at 10, and then she said she didn't want to hurt my feelings anymore. It seemed like she wanted to get something off her chest, but she said no not really. When I called, she hung up and told me to beg. I refused, and she responded by saying, "You're just so cute, I can't stay mad at you," and "your warmth is incomparable." I felt like I was being played with, so I ignored it.
We sent each other a few reels on Instagram, but at the end of the month, I went to the store where she works. I sort of ignored her because she looked busy handling pallets. She posted on IG, "Not even a hello???" I told her she looked busy. A few days later, I went back to the store for snacks for an upcoming road trip. She approached me to say hi, and we looked at each other awkwardly. Two guys started talking to me, and she walked away. When I was done I went looking for her at her department continue talking but she went in and then left kinda fast. Later, I texted her saying I wanted to say hi but those guys interrupted she asked if I had her phone number I said yea but told heridk wat to day to you anymore tho 💀 and so I asked if she wanted to continue playing Stardew Valley, but she said she was busy all day tomorrow so i left it at that. Then, she posted on IG, "I have a stalker," which felt like it was toward me
Idk what she wants
I waited until the next morning, still up so unfollowed her, and went on my trip. Two days later, she liked my pictures with me in it from the trip. And I'm so confused
We also talked about making it official and what not but she said it can't be in this specific month cause it's her birthday month which was kinda weird cause I haven't heard anyone say that but I said ok.. and then there was one instance where she said she can claim me as hers but I can't claim her as mine which made no sense she said it's a girl thing... Which was odd... But Thai was before the whole tip happened. There was a time she asked to come to my house and I told her yea one day I'll invite you

AITA for abandoning my parents at an island in the Caribbean so I could get back to our cruise in time?I graduated from high school back in December. As a gift my parents got me a cruise. It was also for my 18th birthday. It was also a family vacation. We usually stay at all inclusive resorts but I have always wanted to go on a cruise.
I told my parents it was different and that if we went on excursions we had to follow the schedule no matter what.
Well it was a week-long cruise and they would not head back to the ship when I said it was time to go. They were busy shopping and bargaining with the locals. I finally said that I was heading back to the ship. My mom waved me off.
The missed the departure. By a lot. Like 45 minutes. They got ahold of me through WhatsApp. They wanted to know why I didn't get the boat to wait for them.
I wanted to scream that they were not going to inconvenience 3,998 people because two could not understand what a schedule was.
They ended up having to fly to the next port from there and it was expensive. They are pissed at me for leaving them behind.
I don't know what I was supposed to do. They literally told me that they knew what they were doing.
I wish I had never asked for this. They are making me miserable because I left without them.

AITA for abandoning my parents at an island in the Caribbean so I could get back to our cruise in time?I graduated from high school back in December. As a gift my parents got me a cruise. It was also for my 18th birthday. It was also a family vacation. We usually stay at all inclusive resorts but I have always wanted to go on a cruise.
I told my parents it was different and that if we went on excursions we had to follow the schedule no matter what.
Well it was a week-long cruise and they would not head back to the ship when I said it was time to go. They were busy shopping and bargaining with the locals. I finally said that I was heading back to the ship. My mom waved me off.
The missed the departure. By a lot. Like 45 minutes. They got ahold of me through WhatsApp. They wanted to know why I didn't get the boat to wait for them.
I wanted to scream that they were not going to inconvenience 3,998 people because two could not understand what a schedule was.
They ended up having to fly to the next port from there and it was expensive. They are pissed at me for leaving them behind.
I don't know what I was supposed to do. They literally told me that they knew what they were doing.
I wish I had never asked for this. They are making me miserable because I left without them.

my parents haven't wished me a happy birthday since i was 4 woohoo
so uhh, happy birthday to me ig

MHe’s alright now. I love that shitty joke. I also have a shitty sense of humor. But that’s obvious, isn’t it?
I’d tell you my name, but let’s keep the anonymity on that for the time being. I like to have that kind of barrier when I’ve spoken to deranged medical students and a woman who thought she could be physically turned into a car. I wish I was joking.
I’m from Minnesota. I’m Latino and bi. I’m also a Gemini and my MBTI is ENFJ. I study business, I used to study sociology but then I dropped out of uni. Long story. I work as a server at a hotel for events such as weddings, birthday parties, business retreats. I love it and I hate it, the pay is why I’m still there.
I love listening to music, my favorite genres are rap, r&b, and alternative rock. I love to write from fiction to journaling. I love pretty much art in general, traveling, learning new things, and going out. Also play video games, but I haven’t had much time lately. I’m pretty much a pothead so I hope you’d be fine with that lmao. I feel like I can get along with anyone as long as you can put effort into the conversation lol.
I’d appreciate if you tell me a bit about yourself once you message me. Also Id prefer that you’re from a timezone (CST) close to me since we’d be able to chat instead of one of us being asleep. I’m cool with moving onto a different platform later on.

He’s alright now. I love that shitty joke. I also have a shitty sense of humor. But that’s obvious, isn’t it?
I’d tell you my name, but let’s keep the anonymity on that for the time being. I like to have that kind of barrier when I’ve spoken to deranged medical students and a woman who thought she could be physically turned into a car. I wish I was joking.
I’m from Minnesota. I’m Latino and bi. I’m also a Gemini and my MBTI is ENFJ. I study business, I used to study sociology but then I dropped out of uni. Long story. I work as a server at a hotel for events such as weddings, birthday parties, business retreats. I love it and I hate it, the pay is why I’m still there.
I love listening to music, my favorite genres are rap, r&b, and alternative rock. I love to write from fiction to journaling. I love pretty much art in general, traveling, learning new things, and going out. Also play video games, but I haven’t had much time lately. I’m pretty much a pothead so I hope you’d be fine with that lmao. I feel like I can get along with anyone as long as you can put effort into the conversation lol.
I’d appreciate if you tell me a bit about yourself once you message me. Also Id prefer that you’re from a timezone (CST) close to me since we’d be able to chat instead of one of us being asleep. I’m cool with moving onto a different platform later on.