Hi my fellow Scorpio, gradually I tend to feel down when socially interacting and people will not really say and act what they truly want to. Many times there are no blatant lies, just white lies or random ear-soothing or culture-appropriate words.
I dont hate it because I dont think that is wrong, I am secretive myself too. But everytime this happens I am like "Ah here we go again" then I lose interest in talking or in that person.
Do you guys have the same problem and can you give some advice, like to give a blind eye over all this potentially paranoid human observing trouble :)
For a quick reference I am heavily impacted by Scorpio and Pluto (Scorpio Rising and Moon, Moon conjuct Asc 0 orb, Pluto 1st house and have many harmonious aspects with other planets). Maybe this has nothing to do with scorpio and I am in a wrong thread with emotion trigger issues lol

This entire exam is just memorization. There should be way way more information in the tax rates and allowances section. My head hurts, man. I have to practice the exam kit one more time and I'm already so burned out and now nothing is registering in my head because of all this information I have tried to cram inside my head. Sorry for the rant lol, I just feel like it needed to be said. Good luck to everyone appearing for the exams. Make sure to take regular breaks between studying sessions.

i struggle tonight, the most i think i ever have. i haven’t spoken to my dad in maybe..3 or 4 years now? with covid and the drone of life it’s hard to keep track to be honest.
the worst part about him is he wasn’t always bad. despite his gross negligence of his children and various other issues i don’t want to get into, i deeply, deeply wish i could be held by him again. that he would tell me it’s going to be okay and kiss my head.
in a family of people that don’t like to be vulnerable, my dad and i never minded it.
i know the things he has done and the mistakes he has made, and i stand by going no contact as it’s the best for me.
i just miss him sometimes. am i alone in this?
i feel like if i shut my eyes hard enough i can remember it but the way things ended, i hadn’t thought of it until now, but we had our last hug and we didn’t know it. i can’t even place when it was.
thanks for reading. he is a complicated man and i’m still working through a lot of the fallout from him.

Whether we’re an active participant or just an observer, I believe that, at some point in our lives, we experience something that is just seared into our heads, and buried into a part of our brain so hard that we recall every detail of it.
After all these years, I still remember the green jacket you wore, the red beanie, the brown boots, gray pants, and the rainbow bracelet you wore on your right hand. I can still hear the sound of your voice, laughing and giggling as you were trying to tell some embarrassing story about your grandma. You had a way of describing things that would make me want to hang on to every little detail, like if I missed something for a second, I’d be missing a crucial part of the story. I still recall the street we were walking on, our footprints left on the snowy sidewalk as we went in the direction of our neighborhood. You were living with your grandparents, and I lived with just my mom and dad.
Normally, when we reached past the knotted tree, you’d hug me and wish me farewell. But…you didn’t do that. You just stopped suddenly, at the foot of the paveway of your house. And then your smile slowly faded into a sullen look.
“Something wrong?” I asked concerningly.
“...”
When I was about to tap your shoulder, I heard the door open. I still remember your grandfather’s face as he stood there, inside his warmly lit home. I knew him, too, during our much younger days when we would have sleepovers. He’d usually be the biggest presence, and had a way of telling a mundane story as if it was the most whimsical adventure in a string of many he had in his youth. However, now there was only a powerful, dampening sense of loss radiating from him.
“Uh, everything alright, sir!?” I called out to him.
He looked at me for a second, and then he looked at you. “Kiddo, you might want to come in. I…Margaret, she…wants to see you.”
You stood there, still looking at the house, unmoving. Grandpa had to come out and grab your shoulder before taking you in. He must’ve been freezing, given he was only wearing a nightgown covered in a thick coat.
“You should go home, son,” he said, not facing me, “it’s getting colder.”
I stood there for a moment. Step by step, you and him took what felt like forever to get to the front door. As you both made it beyond the threshold, you turned over your shoulder, and all I could see were your eyes. They were bigger than I’d ever seen them, and they were looking right at me. You were looking right at me, and you looked so helpless and afraid of something.
But, instead of doing what I should’ve done, I turned and walked back to my house. It was the next morning that I found out what had happened. After that, you moved and I hadn’t seen you since. That was years ago today, but the memory still plays on repeat during snowy days like these. I also moved after college, to the big city, but sometimes I go back to visit the folks and, when I walk around, I stop at the exact same spot I was standing in. And, I wonder: if I had thrown whatever was holding me back into the cold wind and ran to hold your hand, would that have made you stay? Maybe just being by your side would’ve been enough, I don’t know. I’ll never know now. All I can do is just remember it, and live with the memories of what you and I did and didn’t do.
I wonder if you also remember everything about that day. And, if there’s any chance we’ll meet again, I hope you’ve forgiven me.

This is the greatest joy of retention yet also the biggest struggle to overcome
Okay so anyone who has done self improvement knows how difficult it can be I separate into 2 categories
Internal vs external work
SR highlights both
Typically if your fapping and losing sexual energy you can do external work and scape by without doing any internal work simply because your not holding onto energy To hold onto your life force takes lots of discipline when it comes to regulating your internal state instead of draining it
So this is the catalyst you will know your issues what needs to be fixed internally and externally this can be great but life doesn’t always work in a fluid manner to where you can instantly make the necessary changes Yes SR speeds the process up but it can also create massive suffering simply because you may not be able to make that change as quickly as you’d like
For example if you experienced a lot of pain at once you naturally are going to want to cope in some way and that can be a feasible strategy to stifle your energy so you don’t have to do the internal/shadow work at this time For anyone who has every gone emotionally numb you understand what I’m describing here The trauma or pain can be so dramatic and life can be so bad that numbing yourself in minor ways to avoid that shadow work could be a potential strategy so you don’t have to face it all at once
Vs if you retain you will feel all that pain at once because your energy is so clean your holding onto your life force You will suffer greatly because your not numbing your experience I believe this is the better strategy but it is much harder journey
And in my opinion that is the bitch of retention but also its greatest blessing because if you don’t numb yourself you will feel the blunt force of life but it will pass through your spirit much quicker
But a potential strategy is to numb yourself a bit if the trauma and pain is very dramatic I’m not saying fap
But I notice on hard days I might fast for less hours in that day and eat more which makes me tired and makes my energy less clear which could help to numb out some of life’s pain because it’s really hard rn I’m probably at my lowest in awhile it’s because I’m making good changes but life is still very hard
I’m lean and typically do omad always sub 12% body fat I’ve been retaining for years now rn currently at day 57
I’m saying play your edge push your limit take as much pain as you can with a clean spirit but if life gets very hard don’t go over your edge just stifle your energy a bit and do the shadow work in a couple days or a week or 2
If after work you eat a bit more then you typically would to stifle the energy a bit that’s okay but only if you are at your edge Stifling energy a bit by distractions or eating a bit Less clean is better then relapsing
I’ve noticed if I’m forced to be around low vibrational people I might eat before I interact with them because if I’m in a pure fasted state they will feel that I feel all of their energy and that they cannot hide because my aura is way to pure
So some strategies for playing the edge dealing with toxic people and waiting because you cannot make all the changes you need to make because of other life factors
I’m not saying self sabotage or fap When I stifle my energy it’s by eating another meal then I typically would and the food is still relatively healthy Or watch a movie after work because your waiting for a certain situation to pass
I still workout fast do cold showers and mediate
That’s a problem I’ve noticed with retention is that your just so damn engaged you know all your problems and how to fix them but strategy and timing is important And if you just have absolutely pure energy everyday all the time you could get pissed off at other people or life situations which is good to have that drive but if taken to far could backfire on you as it has on me in the past so I’m not saying lower yourself be who you are and stand in your power just be aware that this is a valuable potential strategy
The ideal situations is you have pure energy all the time life starts to align because synchronicities will happen new levels have new devils you suffer you make the changes without stifling energy you stand up for yourself everytime and continue to level up
But I feel that is somewhat hard to embody in practice I’m one guy with one perspective so if you can go a year without issues more power to you but for me personally playing my edge is the thing to do and works the best for me long term because if I get arrogant and on my high horse I start to have issues becoming super judgemental of others because you see demons when you have a clean spirit and that can cause self righteousness which itself is a trap so lowkey backing off have a super super pure aura when interacting with toxic people who are in your way then when the time is right to make the change jump at the opportunity to move onto better things
Again I’ve been practicing this since 16 I turn 20 this weekend
And I know this post seems a big negative and I know it somewhat is but it’s just a warning / potential strategy because like I said if you go on 3+ months streaks out here consistently with a clean aura I promise you will get attacked and repel People just remember though that repelling is good because it’s taking you where you need to go to match your high vibration but that’s scary because it could mean complete restructuring your life like me basically losing all your family
If your just doing it for the female attraction or some surface level reason and keep your streaks under a month you should be fine but if you get into longer streaks your going to start to trigger people with your clean energy especially if your intention is to grow and become a better person legit your light will irritate their demons
I believe retention on longer streaks makes you more in tune with energies and life which helps build faith and gets rid of fear a more spiritual component on longer streaks and then synchronicities happen which only Proves this to a further extent which makes life feel more trippy good luck as well
though other people have already gone over this stuff so I won’t get into it I just thought this playing your edge strategy on retention would be valuable asset and idea as I’m yet to see anyone bring it up so far particularly with the arrogance self righteousness etc it’s easy to hate but gotta remember some ppl are sleep and everyone is on a personal journey try to respect others even the demons who are trying to pull you down like crabs in a bucket in the end we are all the good guys in our own story and we all know in our head our good intentions wether others realize it or not same with the demons bro they have a life story alright peace out yall play your edge stay engaged take as much suffering for growth as you can stomach and don’t demonize the demons because that will just make them angry and make things worse eye for an eye makes the whole world blind have boundaries love from a distance

My name is Jessica, and I live in a small central American city of about 80,000 people.Today I'm going to share a story about Korea.First, I'd like to tell you a little bit about my family.When I was born, I already had an older brother.I don't mean just a little sister with an older brother.My brother was adopted from Korea.It's an unusual situation, isn't it? My parents struggled with infertility for several years before I was born, and they ended up adopting my Korean brother.Then, a few years later, they got pregnant with me, and I was born.My brother had different hair color, skin color, and eye color than me, but we got along very well.Even though we knew from a young age that we were adopted because of our differences, we got along well, and we were a family that loved each other deeply.
We played the same games, read books together, and spent a lot of time together. He always took good care of me, and he was a good brother who made me laugh.
I would say, “Brother, let's read this book together!” and he would always smile and read it to me. I think I liked and enjoyed his warmth to me, rather than focusing on the content of the book.
When we left our cozy home environment, it was time to go to school, and during this time, my brother and I were asked a lot of embarrassing questions.One day, while my brother and I were playing together, a friend asked me, “Jessica, why does your brother look different from you?”The question gave me pause, but he smiled and replied, “Because we are a family, looks don't matter. His positive attitude had a good effect on me, and I'm sure he had a good effect on himself, too.Watching him grow up right, and our family became interested in Korea. If he was a troublemaker and always in trouble, he wouldn't have had the time to take the time to learn about his country of origin, Korea, but when he studied well, didn't fight with his friends, and was a good person who always loved and cared for his brother, we couldn't help but wonder about his roots.
I think my parents also had the will to share Korean culture with my brother and me, to learn what they could, to broaden our horizons and deepen our family's understanding.Many years ago, when I was in middle school, my family visited Korea for the first time, and the experience left a great impression on me.
We visited many tourist spots in Seoul and saw the harmonious combination of Korean tradition and modernity.And Korea, with its many dark-haired, dark-eyed people like my brother, was somehow not foreign to me.For Americans traveling to Asia for the first time, this could have been difficult because people look different and give off different vibes, but not for me. My parents, of course, were very excited to revisit Korea, the country of my brother's birth, and spoke so many blessings about the land of my brother's birth.Of course, there were many good things to see and many fun things to do in Korea, but the most memorable moment was when I suddenly developed a high fever.
It was a quiet night in Korea at the time, and I suddenly developed a high fever.This change was so sudden that my parents panicked.Eventually, with the help of the hotel we were staying at, they were able to get me to the emergency room in Korea, where I was quickly treated.Upon arrival, the medical staff quickly assessed my condition and ran the necessary tests.The whole process was organized, and thanks to the professionalism and quick response of the medical staff, I was able to get comfortable quickly. My situation was so serious that my head hurt like a rock and I could barely understand what was being said around me, but thanks to their quick response, my fever started to come down and I was able to return to my senses.The tests showed that I had a severe flu, which had been contracted in the United States and had incubated in Korea.I had to stop traveling in Korea and be admitted to the hospital for treatment, but thanks to the fast and efficient healthcare system in Korea, this was not a problem.
My parents breathed a sigh of relief and expressed their deep gratitude to the Korean healthcare system.“If it wasn't for Korea, I would have been in trouble,” my father said.Although my family had to stop our trip to Korea and spend the rest of my stay in a Korean hospital, looking back, it was also a unique experience abroad.
Many years later, as an adult, my relationship with my brother was still good. We enjoyed Korean dramas, movies, and music together, cooked Korean food together, and learned Korean together.
However, there was a clear difference between me and him: he seemed to be better at learning, even if he spent the same amount of time studying, and he went to a prestigious university, while I failed to get into college and became depressed.
He helped me with my studies every vacation, taught me how to study, and helped me to get into a prestigious university, but the results were not good. I was rejected by all the universities I applied to, and I was going through a very difficult time. After he graduated from college, he moved back home from the East Coast of the United States and helped me study for the college entrance exam, and with his help, I was able to get into college, albeit late.
Although I didn't get into a prestigious university like my brother, I still had a satisfying college experience and broadened my horizons.Naturally, I discovered that Korea has been on the global radar lately, which was very exciting.Korea may be the latest trend for Americans these days, but for me and my brother, it's like going back to our roots.I've always loved Korea, and it was very interesting and fond to reminisce about my trip to Korea when I was in middle school and look through my photo albums, even though half the time I was sick. So, my brother and I decided to visit Korea again, and this time, we had several goals for the trip: we wanted to make sure that we got it right this time, because we didn't get it right the first time, and my brother wanted to get to know his Korean roots better, even though he is now an adult, working as an American and living as an American, and I wanted to get to know my Korean roots better in relation to my major in college, and this time, I wanted to research more about the Korean healthcare system that I had experienced as a child.
Of course, I also wanted to have fun in Korea and enjoy the freedom to roam around the country unlike when I was a student, but I didn't take it too seriously.
Korea was so different from the U.S. It had the look of a big city in the U.S., but it had its own unique vibe. It was much more developed than the neighborhoods we live in in the U.S., and everywhere you looked was filled with people, and there were hundreds or thousands of stores selling a variety of things. If you were walking around and traveling, and you got thirsty and needed a break, there were cafes all around you that you could just pop into and take a break, and you didn't have to go far to find a restaurant that had one Korean food and sold it, because all the infrastructure was there.
Everything is around you, and everything you want or need is always right around the corner, which is why people call city life so convenient and love it.The public transportation system in Korea, which is light years better than the big cities in the U.S., helped us get around without any difficulty.It was also so much fun to get a T-money card, carry it around, and use it to get around Korea for a very low cost.
And when my brother and I would walk around, going to cafes, restaurants, and other places where there was something to do, many Koreans would tell us that we made a good looking couple.When I would tell them, in a pleasant and complimentary way, that we were actually brother and sister, they would look surprised and apologize.
But it's completely understandable, because even in the U.S., more people think of us as a couple or friends than they do as siblings, and there's not much of an adoption culture in Korea, and no one adopts and brings European or American children to Korea, so it's no wonder we get these funny misunderstandings.
To be honest, even in the U.S. nowadays, you can still encounter people who ask my brother and I questions about our relationship with unpleasant intentions to hurt us, assuming that we are not a couple or friends, but maybe even a man.A recent memory is of an American grandfather in his 70s who made a very rude remark to us, asking us what kind of father our father was to have two women give birth at the same time.
In the U.S., most people are friendly and kind to me, but the problem is that some people sometimes make fun of my brother because he looks Asian, but this was not the case in Korea at all.No one discriminated against me because of my different appearance.
And there's actually a story I wasn't going to tell in this article, but I'm writing it down because I had my brother's permission to do so.After arriving in Korea, we decided to search for my adopted brother's birth parents in order to trace his roots.My parents and I respected his decision to pursue this endeavor in Korea, and of course, we decided to support it. We visited the Korean adoption agency and requested my brother's adoption records.The representative provided us with all the information possible and was eager to help us, saying that efforts to find one's roots are ongoing every day.Together, we were able to find some important clues in the records.
My brother decided to visit his birthplace based on those clues, and of course, I joined him on the journey.We were always laughing since we came to Korea, but at this moment, there was more seriousness than laughter.We visited my brother's birthplace together and talked to the local people.
At the time, there was only a vague record of my brother's father and mother, but no proper records, so we only knew where he was born, and we had to go there and find someone who had lived there for a long time.But Korea is a very fast-developing country, and the sad thing is that the area where my brother was born and spent the first few months of his life was already torn down and replaced by a huge apartment complex. We felt that if we had come sooner, at least before these new apartments were built, things would have been at least better than they were, but there was no point in regretting what had passed.We visited the social welfare center and police station in the area, explained our situation, and asked for help.The Korean people were very kind, listening to my brother's story and letting us know what we could do.
We were told that when a new apartment building is built in Korea, new people who have no connection to the area move into the apartment, but that some of the people who live in these new apartments have been living here for a long time, most likely elderly people, and that the best thing to do is to find them and ask them about their past.We felt that this information would be very useful to us, as we were very confused and frustrated.
So my brother and I, along with a Korean lady who felt sorry for us and wanted to help, approached the elderly people who came in and out of the apartment and asked them questions.But despite all our efforts, we were unsuccessful in finding my brother's biological parents.We had many clues and information, but we were unable to find any conclusive evidence.My brother was disappointed, but we were comforted by the fact that we had done our best. Maybe if we could have spent a few weeks, maybe even a few months here to find and talk to an elderly person with memories of the past, we could have found a clue to the solution, but we couldn't stay in Korea, so in the end, we had to give up without proceeding any further.When I saw the look on my brother's face as he said that if he had the chance, he would visit Korea next time for this sole purpose, I felt a great sense of disappointment.“It's a shame that we couldn't find them, but thank you for trying,” he said to me.I couldn't say it anymore.
It would have been great if he could have completed his homework, but he didn't.Contrary to my initial expectations, the Korean adoption agency tried to be as helpful as possible, and I was very grateful to the government officials in the place of my brother's supposed birth, who were very sympathetic to his situation and actively tried to help him, and to the Korean lady who passed by.
Having been treated by the Korean healthcare system in the past, I took this level of care for granted and thought that it was something that everyone could enjoy, but then, when I was a high school student in the U.S., I was seriously ill and did not receive the same care as I did in Korea, so I remember suffering terribly and tried to understand why this difference occurred.
Before I came to Korea, I had already arranged to meet with someone, and although I didn't get to visit any specialized institutions, I was able to meet with Korean college students, and I learned a lot of information from them: medical students, pharmacy students, and I was able to get a lot of information from them.
The Korean healthcare system was different from the U.S. in many ways: it was fast, efficient, and provided a high level of care at a relatively low cost.The quick response and organized system for emergencies was especially impressive.The emergency rooms in Korea were very reasonably priced, allowing people to go to them for minor and mild symptoms.At this point, I thought that if there were a lot of people going to the emergency room for minor symptoms, it would be a problem if someone came in who needed emergency care, but the hospitals in Korea made it very easy to answer that question. I also learned that when a really urgent patient comes in, the emergency room prioritizes the emergency patients and treats them first, ignoring the minor ones. It's so simple and obvious: the doctors have the skills to determine the severity of the patient's condition, and they can prioritize the treatment accordingly.
Not only that, but it was very easy to get an appointment in Korea and the wait time was short. The Korean medical staff emphasized patient care and prompt treatment, and they utilized the latest medical technology and equipment to provide the best possible medical care.
In the U.S., medical care is often very expensive, complicated, and difficult to access quickly, and many people are unable to get proper treatment due to insurance issues.I also received prompt treatment in Korea when I was in middle school without insurance and had to pay a reasonable price, but the experience was a nightmare as I remember being very sick in middle school and high school, and I felt that the Korean system was far superior.I felt that the Korean healthcare system is not for profit, but is dedicated to protecting the health of the people.
Through my experiences in Korea, I learned about a much broader world than what my brother and I knew before.There are many factors that make Korea such a great country, but the culture and system that my brother and I experienced firsthand helped us understand why.And most of all, Korea is the country that made my brother.I have grateful feelings for Korea, which is also my brother's roots.
My brother and I could tell without speaking to each other that through this visit, we saw in each other a willingness to continue to love Korea more and more, and to strive to learn and understand Korean culture.
Korea is now a country that has special meaning to me as an adult, and I think it will be a great pleasure for me to honor my brother's roots and watch Korea develop and grow.I will continue to connect with Korea and try to help more people discover its charms.
And next year, he plans to visit Korea to find his roots once again. He plans to stay in Korea for more than a month, and he will continue his best efforts during that period.

As it stands, Guardians could be one SP away from legit title contention, so I have my eyes on the Blue Jays and whether they decide to sell. Could be a good fit especially since they have Shapiro (feel like there's been several minor trades between the two teams recently). Potential options:

1. Yusei Kikuchi: 3.25 ERA, 119 ERA+, 2.84 FIP, 9 K/9. Best target of the bunch imo. Good underlying numbers. Short term option because of age but that could lessen the return.
   
2. Kevin Gausman: 4.47 ERA, 87 ERA+, 3.15 FIP, 9.9 K/9. Down year if you look at ERA and ERA+, but the underlying numbers look okay and he's been better as of late. May require a bigger haul though.
   
3. Jose Berrios: 2.94 ERA, 131 ERA+, 4.51 FIP, 7.1 K/9. Best ERA numbers but the FIP and K/9 scare me a bit. Would also seem weird to have him pitch for us after he owned us for MIN.
   

Which one, if any, would you like to see head to Cleveland in July?

1 year old, Male 19.1lbs, 27.1in Removed at 39wks, giant omphalocele (liver, bowels, partial stomach) J tube fed 1000mLs over 20hrs 1.5mL erythromycin 3 x's a day for motility. 3mL omeprazole 2 x’s a day for GERD.
He's been on erythromycin since he was around 3-4 months old and no end in sight. Due to a rash he got when trying Reglan they've listed it as an allergy and are sticking with erythromycin, just upping the dose as he grows. Is this small amount concerning for long term use? I'm thinking about if he needs to fight something like strep or staph because he has been sick every single month since he was born with everything, staph, RSV, flu, Covid, pink eye... it's always something and he’s had vancomycin for infections previously. He still vomits quite a bit even with the erythromycin AND J tube feeds and I want to make sure the erythromycin is not just hurting his immune system in some way, especially if it isn't proving to be the most helpful with vomiting/motility anymore. The Gl doc he sees doesn't seem to think it's a concern and just keeps him on it, but I just have that feeling about it and would love some more opinions on it. I feel like I pester his doctors enough with all my little questions and concerns.

This just popped on my feed, other user and me are thinking a hitchhiker, but I can´t be sure.
https://www.reddit.com/Paranormal/comments/1d2yznmy_niece_thinks_im_the_ghost/
My niece thinks I’m the ghostMay 29th 2024, 00:19, by Alarmed_Manner_5138
Okay so I moved in with my sister and her family in February after a long jail sentence. Moved home to get my life together. So ever since I move in here, I’ve felt the normal stuff, I hear noises and it feels like someone is staring at me, things like that. I’ve been telling my sister about it and we kind of joke about it. Well one night I was babysitting while my sister and her husband got out for the night. It was bed time and I was carrying my niece upstairs. (She’s 2) well she looked upstairs and got a terrified look on her face and she grabbed my shirt tight and didn’t want to go to bed. I calmed her down and was able to put her down. That is the last night she slept upstairs. She was absolutely terrified of whatever she saw. I felt uneasy about that but life continued. I should probably mention that since I have been out of jail I have been sick. Like ridiculously sick. Can’t get better. Been to the doctor, got antibiotics, resting, otc meds, you name it I’ve tried it. As of right now my ears are clogged to the point I can barely hear. Anyway, one night I wake up and I’m sitting on the edge of my bed with my head covered. I was so taken aback by it that I text my sister and was like dude this is weird and she said “shut up. My daughter said you are the ghost up there” wait what?? My niece said one night I was sleepwalking in her room and I played with her feet. That’s not all. One night I woke up and thought I saw myself standing by the bedroom door. I thought it was like a fever dream or something but now I don’t think so. I’m pretty scared and want to get better. Any advice?
submitted by Alarmed_Manner_5138 [link] [comments]

Hi guys! About 4 weeks ago I had a really bad migraine. I haven't had one since 2018 so it took me by surprise. I had the vision trails and intense head pain. It lasted about 3/4 hours and I chose to sleep it off.
About two & a half weeks ago I started to feel this radiating pain starting from the left side of my neck to the back of my left eye. This has been consistent for the past two and a half weeks. I can't seem to catch on to what triggers it but it has happened at least once a day for the past two weeks. Along with this "headache" I have experienced a lot of upper trap and back tightness and pain. The pain seems to come in waves. I've felt a warm/numb feeling in my left arm as well.
I’d like to also mention that I suffer from really bad seasonal allergies. During the peak season this year I was really bad, a lot of sinus congestion, eye redness, etc.
I am not sure if this pain i'm feeling is related to the migraine i suffered a month back, or if this is from something else. I was hoping this would subside by now, but it hasn't so my next step would be to visit the doctor, but unfortunately I do not have insurance so I turn to my fellow redditors for advice! Anything helps!
Age:22
Sex:M
Height:6’0
Weight:160
Duration of complaint:2/3 weeks
Current medications: None

my family situation is complicated. I have two grandparents on my paternal side that are alive, and one grandparent on my maternal side. my maternal grandmother stole my mother’s inheritance from her father’s will when he passed, and it’s not that my mom cared about the money. it’s just hard to allow someone to remain in your life when they steal from you, especially during such a vulnerable time in your life, as a family member. my paternal grandparents are another story. my grandfather is attentive and comes to every life event, though with his age and one leg, it’s been harder for him to get out in recent years. he is the sole caregiver from my grandma so he is forced to get out daily though. however, he recently broke his back. and my parents and I are her caregivers now. my grandmother is mentally ill, and hasn’t left the house in over 10 years. she missed my high school and college graduation, my sisters wedding, and my sisters graduate and masters graduations. I assume both grandmothers will miss my wedding and graduation from nursing school. for the last few years, my grandpa has been the only reason she had food each day, and clean clothes, despite her being hateful towards him. when I see her, she continuously tells me she wants to die (she is only 78 and is in relatively good health, no cancer, no diseases), auctioning off her items when I see her. however, she doesn’t take care of herself, and has let her teeth rot, her eyesight is so bad that she uses binoculars to see my face, and her toenails are 4 inches long. she won’t let my grandpa help her with her hygiene, and she refuses to do it for herself. the only thing she talks to me about is the news. she will begin with the new gossip, then move onto the wars in the world and end with how it is all the plan of God, and how the end times are upon us. every time. i’ve been holding out, hoping that she’ll change trying to talk sense into her (shower, stop talking to me like i’m an audience, be nice to your husband). I realized that i’m literally mourning her while she is still alive. i’m longing for the grandmother figure I never had. comparison is the thief of all happiness. I can assure you. I compare my grandmothers to my friends’, boyfriend’s and random people on tik tok’s grandmothers. it’s so unfair. I wish I could tell you all about the great memories I have with my grandmothers, and how many life lessons they taught me. but I can’t. for as long as I can remember (23 years), I have never had a conversation that I would consider normal with my grandmothers. i’ve never been able to go to them for advice, or make cookies with them at christmas time, I never wished to go to their houses when I was little, and I truly forgot what my maternal grandmother looked like because she burned her bridges to my family so long ago. I want to give myself permission to mourn the grandmother figures I wanted to have. I want to grieve the image i’ve had in my head all these years to move on from this world of hurt I live in.

Hey everyone, firstly I wanna say thank you for the support I'm getting talking about all this. I've mentioned it already but it really does help me feel less crazy just being able to dump this all on someone and not feel like I'm going to have to go to a mental hospital or something. I also meant to post this update earlier today, but my internet was acting strange and would let me do anything with it all day. Finally was able to post using the internet at work and I hope a few things that happened in this story will explain some stuff, or maybe just raise more questions. Who knows at this point.
One thing that's helped besides trauma dumping here is a friend I have here asked me to a lake nearby to hang out for Memorial Day. Of course with everything going on here, I was more than happy to accept. If not just to get away for a while. We had a great day, beers, swimming, finally seeing some people I knew were real again. The whole past weekend or so has been a lot and some sense of normalcy really helped my nerves. It still all weighed on the back of my mind though. The man with the box, the key, the screams and knocking. Especially Macy. Maybe some part of me just wanted to brush off our last weird text interaction and see her again. Maybe some part, I'd say the bigger part, just wanted to figure out if she's related to this somehow.
When I got back last night, it was the same as always. Not a single person around. Again I wanna be clear, there's a ton of cars in the parking lot, like to the point I have trouble finding a spot close to my building door. And obviously I've seen the man with the box and Macy, so I know there's definitely people that live here. But nobody around, except them of course. I guess this time it could've just been the fact I got home late. Still... it gives me chills the deeper I think about it.
I made my way up the stairs to my apartment, the echoing of my footsteps through the stairwell emphasizing to me just how alone I was. Back inside, I unconsciously threw my own keys on my counter right next to the key from before and it really all came flooding back. But I'm trying to stay level headed. Regardless, to try to keep it from sending me over the edge, I slid it away from mine and haphazardly threw a notebook nearby on top of it to block it from view. I went out to my balcony and lit a cigarette. What I had initially thought was going to be the end to the night.
Leaning on the railing, I let the nicotine calm me back down. Across the street I noticed house lights here and there shutting off, other folks calling it a night too as the holiday came to an end. As I finished and put it out in the, admittedly overly full ashtray, I noticed the mark on the small rug I placed out there from the coffee Macy spilled. I got it right after the box incident to cover the scratches from that in the concrete. The stain was right where the scratches would've been and I had a strange thought. I whipped out my phone and fumbled to turn the flashlight on. Once it was, I lifted the rug and shined the concrete underneath. The scratches were completely gone as if they, or even the box, had never been there.
As I stared in confusion, I got a text message. My heart skipped a beat and I dropped both the rug and my phone, luckily not losing it off the balcony. I snapped myself back to reality and picked it back up to check. It was Macy. After about a full minute of contemplation, I opened it.
"Hey I saw you get home," she had written. How? How on earth did she see me get home? I'm hyper vigilant for anyone, anyone at all I can see whenever coming or going given the circumstances, and I definitely didn't see her anywhere. The more rational part of my brain reminded me she came to my apartment, I hadn't any idea which one she lived in so maybe her window faced the parking lot and she had seen me that way. Even that though, what are the chances she would see me get back right when I did and text so soon after unless she had been watching for me already? I didn't know if that was flattering or another thing I should be worried about. On top of that, her last other text I could still see right above this one made me more sure that something was going on.
I immediately went into investigation mode. "Oh hey, yea lol I've been out with a friend all day," I replied. My whole goal now was to try to seem casual and see if I could pull something out of her to figure out just what the hell is happening here. I wasn't going to ask her about the last text, I certainly wasn't going to bring up the screaming or knocking. I had to navigate this carefully.
"Oh fun! How was it?" This is getting even stranger, she seemed more casual than I was actively trying to be. Granted I barely knew this girl, this didn't sound like the one I met. But I'm not stopping here.
"It was fun yea, I'm a bit exhausted haha," I tried not to leave it open for her to actually have a reason to come over. I was actually tired, but now I wanted answers and wasn't looking to have anymore weird incidences right now. Despite not wanting any though, I'm sure you can tell I wouldn't be writing this if they didn't happen.
"Good!" another out of character response.
As chill as possible, I replied, "So how was your day? Anything interesting?" Doing my best to pry at some sort of evidence or answers or something. I regret sending it now, what she said next just made me more worried. I should've just ignored my phone and went to bed.
"Yea I met a really nice guy in the building, he's cool we should all hang out sometime" I know exactly who she's talking about, I'm sure you know exactly who she's talking about. Now I couldn't stop myself.
"Did he give you anything?" Dammit. I hit send before thinking. That was definitely too much and too abrupt. At best I sound like a weirdo or like I was about to get jealous. At worse I was gonna get the answer I didn't want. The answer I expected as badly as I didn't want to.
"Lol yea actually how'd you know? He left a box with a really nice note sometime after he left. It's supposed to be a gift, but I don't really get it." I should've ended the conversation right there and just come up with a reason in the morning why. But I felt like the puzzle pieces were close to fitting together. Unfortunately, I was right.
I felt I was getting obsessed. "Really? So you opened it?"
"Yea there was like an old jewelry box inside, I think he forgot the key though, it's locked" I knew what would open it. I slowly looked to the spot on the counter where the key was. Still covered by the notebook. I went over to it and placed my hand on the notebook. When I did though I was jump scared again by the slam of a door. Rather, not a door slamming shut but the way it sounds when someone opens it hard and it bangs into the wall. Clearly coming from the hallway. Then another, then another. I heard this over and over again getting further and further away until finally it stopped. I wish I never walked out to investigate but like I said, I was obsessed now and just had to know. I cautiously, quietly as possible, opened my door and peered out.
Every single door down to the opposite end of the hall was wide open. I'd like to say I was relieved, finally seeing some sign of the other apartments being occupied. But because every one, at least that I could see, was pitch black inside, it still wasn't evidence per se. Until I started seeing hands.
Out of the next door apartment, almost coyly, someone's hand slowly stuck out and started waving. I started walking towards it. Looking back now it was like I was in a trance. I just had to see. I had to see what was in the apartment. As soon as I got close enough to actually try to see inside proper, the hand yanked back inside and the door slammed back shut, immediately followed by a quick series of angry knocks from the other side of the door. Then I noticed another hand coming out of the next apartment. Waving.
Picking up my pace now, I walked towards this apartment door. But the same thing happened before I got close enough. The door slammed shut and a quick set of the same aggressive knocks followed. This process repeated over and over the same way all the way down the hall as I kept walking faster until I was jogging. I had to see inside one of these apartments. But every time. Hand. Wave. Slam. Knocks.
That happened until I reached the end of the hall, where noticeably, no hand came out of the last apartment. I stopped in my tracks. Anxiously I started towards this last door. It was pitch black like the rest, but in the doorway, someone was standing there. It was Macy.
She was facing into the apartment away from me and she seemed off. Not the way she was acting, I mean obviously pulling a Blair Witch in the doorway was off, don't get me wrong. I mean there was something off about the way she looked. She looked taller...her hands looked bigger...her shoulders looked broader. "M-Macy?" I tried to get her attention. She slowly turned around and I noticed her looked different too. Bigger like the rest of the things that seemed off about her now, but I recognized those eyes. I couldn't forget those eyes if I wanted to. Ever since I saw them in the parking lot. Ever since I saw them from balcony. And there they were again, just staring again.
Macy began a slow smile. Wider and wider until she looked even stranger than she already did. I started backing away. She stepped out and turned. Now standing still in the hallway with the same expression and strange features. She didn't follow me but I didn't dare take my eyes away off her until I got to the other end of the hall and to my apartment. Still looking at her standing like a statue, I patted around my door until I found the handle. Slipping inside as quick as possible, I locked the door. The screaming started again.
I could tell where it was coming from exactly now though. It was coming from down the hall where I left Macy. And it was getting closer. Slowly but surely making its way to my end of the hall. I grabbed my gun, terrified at what might come next. Louder and louder, I heard this blood curdling scream until it was right outside my door. I raised my gun, but just as suddenly as it started, it completely stopped. Next thing I heard was my phone vibrate. Still watching for what might happen at the door, I checked my phone. It was Macy...
"Wanna open it?"
I didn't even think about texting her back. I stayed up for a long long time the rest of the night, but that text seemed to top off the night's events as nothing else happened. The day at the lake and then everything I had just been through had me wiped out and eventually I couldn't stay awake. I the time I was awake I was too freaked to write any update, so that's what I'm doing now while the memory is still fresh. I ended up taking a double and letting my evening shift run into a night shift. Hopefully, I'll get some ideas on what to do next after I spend a night or two away from that place.

His words still pounding in my ears. My head aches as I scrub the counters clean. I tried to calm myself as I methodically clean my kitchen.
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
I walk down the hall and into the bathroom with that sentence repeating in my head. Staring at myself in the mirror, I tried to steady my breathing.
He never liked it when I wore makeup I thought as I washed the red from my cheeks and lips. The hot water burned as I scrubbed my hands.
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
Where did he get the audacity? I fumed as I make my way into the living room. I need to sit down and think. Pushing the crap off the couch to make room, I try to think of anything other than what happened two hours ago.
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
He'd came home in a bad mood. He was always in a bad mood. Always moping. He looked like I kicked a puppy when I didn't have his dinner ready. Where did he he get off speaking to me like that? He obviously doesn't respect that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him.
The knock at the door nearly gives me a heart attack. Did he invite someone over? I peek out the peephole to see David, his coworker, wringing his hands and looking nervous.
What the fuck did he tell David? Why is he here? David knocked for five minutes before he left.
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
Maybe he wasn't lying this time when he said he was leaving. Did he tell David? My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. Suddenly, the room was spinning and I was close to full blown panic.
Why did he have to do this? He always does this. He gets me angry on purpose. Today was especially egregious.
Coming home to bitch about how he works all day to support me. He's lucky I even graced his pathetic self with my presence. So what if I didn't get the laundry done or sweep the floor. If he wants it done, he can do it himself.
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
There's no way I can clean up the rest of the house enough that the kitchen doesn't look suspicious if David calls in a welfare check. I tried to breathe as I looked around at all the shit piling up everywhere.
That doesn't even come close to what will happen if he's still here if the cops come looking.
I peek out the window, watching David sit in his car. Panic mounts as it slowly dawns on me; David is calling the cops and waiting til they get here.
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
Why did I ever tell him I'd make dinner? I didn't know he was being serious this time. That lying sack of shit has pulled the leaving card too many times for me to make a grand production for each one!
How was I supposed to know he took the gesture as a guarantee? Who gets that upset at their partner for not making dinner?
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
It was the crying. The sniffling that tipped me over the edge, really. Crying over dinner? Just order take out like usual. Fucking baby.
I didn't even mean to hurt him that bad. I was just trying to make him see how I was feeling. Really, a form of self defense.
I jump at the pounding on the door. The cops are here.
As I turn the knob to let them in, I realize I forgot to change my clothes. Fuck. I can't believe he did this to me. All over dinner.

My daughter, who is 11, has been in gymnastics for a couple of years now — not competitive, recreational. Still, the workouts twice a week for 1 hour each are pretty intense.
She is now learning the back handsprings mostly on semi-soft “cheese” mats with slight incline, and with her coach holding his hand under her lower back as she is doing it.
The problem is that after intense repetitive jumping backwards, landing on her hands, and flipping in the air over and over again my started complaining of HEADACHES and sometimes specifically pain in her ears right after class. Also, she sometimes feels like she is going to throw up right after.
Normally, this goes away fast, but I am getting concerned that this particular routine isn’t very healthy because of the impact maybe on her spine? Or is it a kind of lack of amortization when she lands on her hands with her entire body weight?
This becomes worse when the coach moves on to the hard, even floor. He still holds his hand under her lower back for some support, but without the softer mat she then complains even more.
Headaches don’t happen all the time, but more often than I feel safe with. And today before sleep she came up to me and said there were distorted weird shapes/spots in her eyes. I’d blame it on too much screen time, BUT we just came back from gymnastics an hour ago (and she did mention earache right after intense handsprings repetitions). The spots went away after about 15 minutes.
Has anyone experienced any similar discomforts during/following this particular routine?

Ok so, I am in the eigth grade and our school does a mini eighth grade “graduation ceremony” for our transition into highschool. Part of this event is three people from eighth grade giving a speech to the student body and parents. I decided to submit my speech and I believe that I did impeccable in my audition, I was able to look up and give eye contact, was able to be breviloquent when reading, and my voice projected enough even without the mic.
After delivering the speech to my homeroom class and the judges I sat down and listened to the next speech. The next speech was by a girl who was infact, dyslexic. She was unable to look up at the crowd and even had to be REMINDED to pause during periods. It was to my utter disgust and trepidation that the dyslexic girl was chosen to deliver the speech.
I just was at a complete loss I what I could’ve possibly did wrong, I had more achievements such as volunteering at a nursing home, being head of student council, being in the gifted program, having the highest MAP testing score, and being chosen to write letters thanking a foundation for donating to my school. Besides I am far better at reading and writing than anybody in our school, even my homeroom teacher said that I am to the entire class!
So I was rather upset by being beaten by someone with a disability and turned to my friend to tell her I believed that this girl was chosen “Out of pity because shes disabled” and one of the teachers ended up pulling me aside to tell me how rude and disrespectful it was that I said that, and said they needed to pick someone who has a harder time to “be inclusive”. I just don’t understand why they couldn’t include someone who can read properly, I mean I know way more about literature than she does! She couldn’t name a classic that wasn’t taught in school, like when I attempted to speak to her about the novel Catch-22.

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Total_Cap_8129. She posted in AmItheAsshole
I added paragraph breaks for readability.

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. See rule 7. Latest update is 7 days old per the rules of this sub.

Mood Spoiler: sad but with good boundaries
Original Post: May 21, 2024
This is my first reddit post, throwaway. Also Englisch is not my first language.
My (53F) mother passed away 10 years ago and I inherited a few select items of jewellery from her. Those are things she cherished and wore often. I have been wearing her watch for the past 10 years, my sister (50F) holds a golden bracelet that she loves and there are three items left that me and my sister have been planning to give to my three daughters (20/18/18) to commemorate 10 years since her passing. They always knew this and were close to their gradma. There is also no quarrel about who gets what.
Enter my brother (48m) and his fiancée (38f) of two years. My brother is demanding one of the pieces for his future wife to wear. He claims we never involved him in any discussion as to what should happen to the pieces and we can’t just claim those to ourselves just because we are women. He says it’s very common for heirloom jewellery to be given to the daughter-in-law and he and his fiancée even cited Meghan Marke and Kate Middleton as examples.
Legally there is no case to be made, my mother left those items to me. I have politly declined their request explaining that I can’t let one of my daughters go without and that they were very close to their grandma while his fiancée did not know her. His fiancée is apparently distraught and claims we don’t see her as family. My father wants me to keep the items and give one to my brother so that all of my mom’s kids eventually get one item and I can do as I see fit with the rest. My sister kindly has offered up her bracelet.
I am torn. I don’t t want to antoganoize my brother and my sister-in law but I find my three daughters’ claim so much more valid. They have been looking forward to this for years. And I don’t want my sister to sacrifice her bracelet. If there were more pieces I would not hesitate to give something to her. It’s not a matter of money. I have offered other things out of my mom’s estate, they feel it’s not the same.
I am also taking into account that my brother was married to his first wife 10 years ago and despite having been close to my mother she got no jewellery either but was left two of my mothers’s watercolor drawings. I feel like my mother left those pieces to me with the intention of eventually passing them on to her granddaughters. Would she have subscribed to the „each child or each daughter plus daughter-in-law has to get a piece of jewellery“ logic she would have left something to my brother or his then-wife in the first place.
My daughters told me the would accept any decision I make but I feel it would be highly unfair to burden them with any involvement in the decision making. The choice is mine to make and I have to live with the consequences. According to my father they are debating to uninvite me from the wedding over this. I stand by my decision but It’s hard.. I was always on good terms with my brother and cordial with his fiancée.. so AITA?
Relevant Comments (OOP had over 100, so this is very narrowed down):
Commenter: OP, she doesn't want to feel closer to her new family, she wants to know that she can push your brother to get her what she wants, even at the expense of his relationship with all of you. It's a game she is playing now, before they get married, so she knows exactly how far she can push you all and what she can get her greedy hands on with a temper tantrum and some threats to exclude you all.
Tell your brother the legacy he received is two watercolor paintings his ex wife has, and he's welcome to chase her down for that if he feels so strongly about it. But your jewelry was a gift your grandmother gave to you, and it is staying with you until you give it to your daughters.
Friend, if you cave to your brother and SIL on this, you'll be handing shit over as long as their marriage lasts. NTA.

OOP: Wow.. thanks for the clarity and direct words. I am starting to feel I was in denial about how bad this really is.
It’s worth mentioning that my brother obviously received his own inheritance as well.
(to another commenter): Also he got a sizable inheritance back then and his wife got two original artworks.. those jewelry pieces are worth approximately $1000 each while my mother’s original artworks are valued $1000-$3000 (she was an illustrator) so the issue is really not me sitting on a $50,000 diamond ring while they received two worthless sketches.

Commenter: Your dad presumably still had items from his wife? He can give one of his treasures to her. You and your sister and your three daughters got one item each. Not up for renegotiation.

OOP: We already offered but she claims it must be jewelry so she can wear it on her wedding day.

Commenter: Since the brother and fiancee seem to want to make the decision, ask them which granddaughter they feel deserves to be deprived of her grandmother's memento, AND how they intend to compensate said daughter for her exclusion from grandmotherly keepsakes. Tell them you cannot in good conscience hand anything over to the fiancee unless they can give a reasonable answer to these questions.

OOP: My husband actually asked them that and their answer was they believe that the twins should share.. which is obviously not going to happen as long as I am here to prevent it.

Commenter: How does the SIL even know about the jewelry?

OOP: I planned to give it to my girls at a family dinner commemorating our mother’s birthday next month and gave everyone a heads up. That’s how she got to know.

Commenter: You have 3 daughters. Your mother left you 3 items. It's pretty self-explanatory. Your mother didn't have to spell it it out for you. She just left them with you for safekeeping. If that wasn't her intention, she would have given them to your dad. Plus your daughters had a personal relationship with your mom (THEIR grandmother).
You got the watch. Your sis got the bracelet. Your daughters get the other 3.

OOP: Thanks.. I feel exactly the same way. I can’t for the life of me see where my brother claims we should have involved him in any discussion concerning who gets what because in my view it’s absolutely clear who gets what. And since she left those things to me, it’s up to me to make the decision. She could’ve left them to anybody else, but she didn’t. What else am I going to do with three pieces when I have three daughters?

Commenter: Tell your brother to stick it. These are for your daughters / her bloodline. This is so entitled and ridiculous.

OOP: I actually don’t care so much about the bloodline thing. If my father were to die tomorrow and each of this children would get some beloved sentimental items I would be really pissed if my husband who is very close to him would not get anything. Plus, I really understand why she wants to have something to feel more connected to her new family, especially since she is estranged to her parents and won’t get anything from them to wear on her wedding day. The problem lies solely in the fact that I don’t have anything to give her without hurting other people. I will not prioritise her feelings above my daughters.

Commenter: Bet you the reason she is estranged from her parents is an eye opener if you ever find it out. Whatever she told you it was is BS.

OOP: I don’t know the reason, but I will admit the thought has crossed my mind. The fact that she is willing to blatantly ignore her nieces’ feelings and that wearing a piece of heirloom jewellery on her wedding day is more important to her than the girls’ connection to their beloved grandmother is a bit concerning to me.

Commenter: If she's trying to feel closer to your family, is there any jewelry that is yours or your sister's that could be given or loaned to her for her wedding day that isn't inherited from your mother?
Your sister and your daughters who actually knew and loved your mother should, of course, take precedence over someone who has only heard about her! NTA and your brother is being absurdly pushy.

OOP: We have now decided to pitch in together to buy something new for her to wear on her wedding day and have as a gift from the family. I hope she will accept this. I could also give her something from me as a loan but I feel buying something specifically for her would probably be better. It’s not that I feel she shouldn’t have anything and I would honestly offer to give her a piece if I had any spare pieces to give.

Commenter: NTA. Your brother is marrying a psycho. She’s never met your mother but is distraught that she can’t wear her dead MIL’s jewelry. You are correct, your mom left the jewelry to you and, as you stated, your mom didn’t even leave your brother’s wife (his ex) jewelry when she passed. Your brother and his fiancée are acting crazy entitled and you need to tell them no and that if they bring it up again you’ll have to excuse yourself from their presence. They are trying to bully you out of your daughters’ heirloom jewelry, their birthrites.

OOP: I can actually see why she would like to have something, we were all very close with mom and keep her memory alive and it’s tricky to enter into such a dynamic years later. I would give her something especially to wear on her wedding day (she is estranged from her parents) if I had anything to give but I can’t take away from my daughters to help her feel better.

Commenter: NTA - the items were left to you. No matter what happens in the future, your daughter's will be your daughter's. The same can't be said for your brothers fiance. That relationship could end, and then the jewelry wouldn't be part of the family anymore. If they were married when your mother passed, maybe I'd consider it, but they haven't tied the knot, so don't give her anything.

OOP: This has been brought up a lot but I feel I can’t in good conscience bring up the fact that their marriage might fail as an argument.

Commenter: NTA if your mom specifically left them to you. Y W B T A if you and your sister decided between yourselves to take all of the nice jewelry without giving any to brother. What about if/when he has daughters?

OOP: He was childless back than with no intention of starting a family and his first wife got an inheritance of her own and so did he. He was completely fine with us deciding what to do with the jewelry as neither him nor his ex wife were interested. The issue only came up with his fiancée recently. Had he voiced his objections ten years ago I would not have spent the last ten years preparing my daughters and the situation would be different. Also legally all items belong to me and I am under no obligation to share or discuss with anyone. I discussed with my sister because it seemed fitting.. again.. he was not interested.

Ask the first wife for paintings?
Asking first wife for her paintings might be an even harder no than the jewelry question honestly.. she received those paintings because she loved our mother and her art and she was a family member in her own right after replacing my mother as my disabled father’s full-time caretaker after my mother fell ill. I am not close to her anymore but I respect her and my mother‘s wishes enough to not hunt her down after seven years for what is legally and rightfully hers.
Update (Same Post): May 22, 2024 (Next Day)
Thank you all for your kind messages and advice, I would never have expected to get so valuable support and inside from strangers on the Internet. Thank you really from the bottom of my heart!
We came together with my brother and his fiancée after I had many of your replies to my husband and my sister. I stated clearly that I will support her in any way possible and that it’s very important for me to welcome home to the family properly but the jewelry is off the table because I believe I am fulfilling my mother’s wishes and I cannot hurt my daughters. I added that I believe that this is not the right way to join a family and that we should strive to resolve this conflict before it creates more tension between my daughters and their uncle and future aunt and also amongst us siblings.
At first, I thought my brother really saw my point and he seemed happy that we offered to pitch together to buy something for his fiancée. Unfortunately she is not willing to accept this. as some of you pointed out, she seems to believe that she ranks right beside my sister and me when it comes to our late mother and supersedes my daughters.. well.
She talked about her rightful place in the family and how she went no contact with her family because they denied her the respect that she deserves and that she will not hesitate to do the same with us. She also talked a lot about the pain of not being able to have any heirloom jewelry for her wedding. And honestly, I believe only a few days ago I would’ve given in presented with her tears but thanks to your kind words I was able to see through her emotional manipulation and really now that I am aware of what she’s doing it is so obvious..
I must say my brother looked very uncomfortable. She then stated that it would be a waste to give the pieces to my daughters since they would just sell them for the money to buy make-up wich is absurd. I ended the conversation at this point stating that I hold firm to my boundary and that they are free to do whatever they feel is the right thing for them.
I am heartbroken and I hope my brother will change his mind. So.. no happy ending but thanks again.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Thats great youve seen her for what shes really doing! Good luck to your brother because the fiancé sure sounds like a peach! Well done for looking out for your baby girls (I know they’re 18 but they’ll always be your babies!)!

OOP: They are capable and wise but they should not bear the consequences of the quarrels of others that they have no part in. And although I am heartbroken by all of this I can firmly feel my mother’s support in this as she put me in charge to protect what belongs to her granddaughters and daughters. Thank you for your support!

In response to a longer comment:

Thanks again.. I appreciate your encouragement. I hope their next move will be one of love and understanding but it’s hard to tell what they will do. While I don’t believe they are considering to physically steal the pieces from me, I have now given the two pieces meant for the younger girls to my mother-in-law for safekeeping at her house until the dust settles. She is obviously livid at the treatment of her granddaughters. The girls felt a lot of pressure from their uncle which is so heartbreaking.. my eldest on the other hand calls her future aunt a grifter and says she will not accept any change of plan to accommodate her so she will receive her piece as planned. She has also been looking forward to wearing it for a long time. I have no words really at this point.. hoping for the best.

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I moved to Missouri a few months ago. Upon moving here, I noticed I was unable to sleep easily, and I never felt rested. Now I'm having dreams. Some night terrors, even. My girlfriend moved here shortly after, and she too is now experiencing these.
My latest nightmare was of me being in a house in the middle of the woods. I have no relation to the house. A woman, not my girlfriend, brings me upstairs to her room. In the room, she starts doing her own thing and lets me lay down on the bed - and that's when I realize I'm paralyzed. I'm stuck on the bed, staring into a dark closet. In the closet, I see a face. The face is almost like that of a harpy eagle, but with huge glowing white eyes. As I make eye contact, it glows brighter and I get hit with a wave of fear. Horrible gut wrenching fear. I remember trying to struggle against the paralysis, and I ended up with my head snapping back, screaming at the top of my lungs. The scene started to change, with my body on the bed but with my consciousness almost like I turned into a camera, and I watched smokey blackness exit my mouth and float into the sky, my consciousness camera going with it.
Then all of a sudden, the scene stayed the same but I was standing, with me in my body. My girlfriend beside me, asking if I was okay, and the closet no longer existent.... Then I wake up.
I poke my girlfriend a few times, and she wakes up terrified as well. She has no idea who I am. My face, she says, doesn't exist. I was speaking and she didn't know who I was.
To be clear, her and I have had more dreams like this. Particularly, the lack of face/being someone else. One night, I had a dream where I thought I was awake, but when I looked at her, her face was this harpy eagle face I described earlier. And it scared me to death, I woke up screaming. She told me she had had that exact same dream during one of her night terrors.
I need help. I've never experienced dreams like this before, and nor has she. Every time we have a dream like this, we feel IMMENSE fear. Anyone know how to control dreams? Decipher them? Get rid of this thing that we both see in our dreams?

So, I've had 2 surgeries. One ACL reconstruction + MCL repair + clean up of bone fragments + tendon repair, one endometriosis excision laparoscopy.
I've also recently learned during dental work that my body needs more local anesthetic than most to work fully and even then it wears off twice as fast as expected.
The reason I'm asking, is both times I've woken up from my operations, I've been in SO MUCH pain. Horrible pain. I tell them it hurts so bad, my eyes are watering. They tell me they'll top up my painkillers, press some buttons, and nothing changes. No relief, no difference. Still just pain. I tell them I'm in so much pain. They tell me they've given me the maximum painkillers they can and I should be fine, I shouldn't be feeling pain. But I am.
Now, I have a high pain tolerance, and always put on a brave face; when I had the injury where I broke my tibia, a tendon, complete ACL rupture, complete MCL ruptures (plural), and meniscus damage. Everyone thought I had just maybe bruised my knee a little but done no real damage because of the way I was handling it, because I am the opposite of dramatic with pain.
So I am wondering which of these things might be true:

• Has there been local anesthetic used too, that's still expected to be working and working with the painkillers to reduce pain, but unbeknownst to them the local has worn off?
• OR is there a specific painkiller they're using, that just doesn't work for my body? If so, what are the typical painkillers that are used coming out of operations? Or is there a way I can find out which painkiller was used, so I can inform my anesthetist next time I have a surgery that a specific one doesn't work for me?
• OR Is it completely normal to be in a LOT of pain coming out of an operation?

after one month, i’m still grieving for the loss
no i’m not suppressing my emotions, i went to a bday dinner with my friends days earlier and they felt for my situation. we are closest friends since decades ago and we saw each other grow along the way. i couldn’t help but crying over it in front of them, the pictures taken that night were later sent back to our group chat….god when i saw that face of me in those pictures, i really feel super sorry for myself, i was obviously hurt and feeling extremely sad for the things happened to me. it’s truly traumatising and everyone could see that in the pictures that this woman is severely damaged and heartbroken.
do i want this version of myself (broken and sad) continue to live for the rest of my life? ->no
does it still matter that i lost this person (who doesn’t afraid to lose me or care about me anymore from the act of ghosting) in 5 years time? ->no
do i believe that someone else will come along to help to heal me? ->no
Here’s the conclusion i got from the above reflection.
i was happy and beautiful before, i feel pity for the woman i saw in the pictures, that broke my heart even more to see my own face in that emotional moment. In 5 years time, i probably would forget about how beautiful our relationship was (in my mind), this version of happily ever after in my head was only fantasy and it will never come true since he probably got cold feet after things has been getting serious. Finally, i got no luck in dating, i don’t know if someone is really there waiting for me eventually, hence no one could save me with their abundance of love for me. So I will be the only person inevitably who will be actually bother to save myself.
To all the loving people out there, there’s nothing we could do about this situation, except to live with it, swallow it, move on from it.
YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOURSELF.
I could love them from a distance as long as i wish but they can’t take the power from me to live happily without them.

Idk about you guys but I've always loved how a shower felt after a bunch of work. Something special about it. Anyway thanks for reading! :)
They were both offered showers by town citizens happy to open their homes. Gareth found showers immensely awkward but didn’t need to worry as a few townsfolk drew him a bath. With some extra help from Deag, who had taken a short trip to the ship, he treated the water and was finally able to eat something. It was no traditional Weilan spa, but it was… close enough. If he was being entirely honest, he was just glad to finally be able to eat something. He may have fibbed to Pen when they talked about food. He wasn’t near starving quite yet and even though being carried had allowed him to conserve a lot of energy, it wouldn’t have helped much longer.
He looked down at his poor shell. Its color greatly diminished from the lack of food and immense stress of the whole ordeal. He could feel the buildup of toxins in his system before and it was wonderful to feel them washing out. He sighed and slumped down under the water. Again, he inspected his shell. Wilting and greying all over his eyes wandered to the crack made by Pen when she pulled him out of the way of the turret. Probably another two months to heal but it was coming along. She must have remembered it too when they were falling. She was gentler. It honestly surprised him that he managed to survive that fall without any major injury.
Gareth let his thoughts drift aimlessly as he soaked under the water. After a few minutes, though, he heard a thump from outside the tub. He rose up from the water and peeked over the lip of the tub. A small human child stared back from the washroom door. Small by human standards that is. He was shorter than Gareth but only by a few inches. If Ton’et’s human biology lessons were serving him well the boy wouldn’t remain much smaller than him for more than a year or so. He should be quickly entering a time of quick growth that humans experience periodically in their formative years.
“Mmmhmmmb” the boy mumbled, still hiding most of himself behind the door.
“What was that?” Gareth asked.
The boy shirked slightly but found his voice after a moment.
“You… You’re weird looking.”
Gareth chuckled.
“You’re the weird looking one.”
The boy's brow furrowed, easier to read than Pen by far. The child wore his emotions on his face.
“Nuh uh…”
“Yuh huh.” Gareth mimicked the child.
“No, you don’t look like anyone else here.”
“Well, I’m not from here, am I? I’m from a place where everyone looks like me and nobody looks like you.”
This seemed to puzzle the boy.
“How many people?”
Gareth tilted his head. An odd question.
“Lots? Trillions.”
“Is that more than here?”
It dawned on him the math the boy was doing.
“Definitely.”
“Darn…”
The boy lightly tapped the doorframe with his foot.
“You could go see them.” Gareth offered.
“Really?” A shine came to his eyes.
“Oh definitely, there's a ton to see. More places out there than trees in that forest outside.”
The boy didn’t understand trillions but that comparison made sense to him.
“Waoooaahhh,” a frown came to his face quickly, “but I like it here though. I have friends here.”
“So when you miss them, just come on back. No reason you cant enjoy both right?”
Gareth's words were a joyous revelation to the boy.
“I’d love that I think…”
“I think you would to.” Gareth chuckled.
“You may be weird but you're pretty cool. My names Cameron by the way.”
“Pleasure to meet you Cameron, I’m Gareth. I think you’re weird and cool too.”
Cameron giggled and sprinted away, stopped, turned around, closed the door gently, then turned back around and sprinted away again. Gareth sunk back down into the tub smiling.
Pen stepped under the shower head with her face turned up. Steaming hot water hit her face and ran down taking all the stress and sweat with it.
A proper shower was exactly what Pen needed. She was no stranger to dirt and sweat and when needs must, she had no issue. That said, filthy was by no means a preferred state and after two days hard march, sleeping in the dirt, and only washing off in a river, a proper shower felt divine. It almost reminded her of washing off after a particularly arduous drop. There was something especially satisfying about it.
Soap, warm water, and more time to enjoy it than she’d ever have been given on the Basho. After getting clean she turned the heat up as high as it could go and propped herself against the wall of the shower letting the water run over her shoulders and back. The heat melted through the tension and washed it down the drain.
Ahhhhhh. Perfect.
Something tickled her neck and she brought her right hand up to it. She pulled a long strand of hair away. It struck her as odd and brought her attention to her hair. It had gotten longer. The strand in her hand was almost alien due to how long it had been since she’d allowed it to grow out beyond a few inches.
She brought both her hands up now, raking them through the newfound length. She’d start having to wear it up if she didn’t want to cut it.
She kind of didn’t. Why should she?
After a nice long while in the hot shower she turned the water off and stepped out. The bathroom was heavy with steam, but she saw that towels and clothes had been set by the sink for her. She dried herself and examined the clothing. It was a simple handwoven dress, loose cut and floor length. The dress was dyed olive green and parchment white with a humble little leaf-like pattern embroidered around the wrists and neckline.
It certainly wasn’t her normal fare, but it was clearly a kind gesture and matched the clothing most wore around town. With how little worn and well taken care of it looked Pen could guess that it meant a lot to the person who donated it.
Pen donned it and looked to the mirror only to find it utterly fogged up.
A light knock came from the other side of the door.
“Are you alright miss?” a woman’s voice asked.
“Yea…” Pen faltered.
“Oh does the dress not fit? Or would you prefer something else?”
“No, no, it fits fine,” it did reach the floor though perhaps not as much as it was intended to, “How about you tell me how I look.”
Pen opened the door. Steam rolled out as she moved into the room with the young woman. She was a stranger to Pen but looked like the older lady whose house this was. Pen guessed a daughter.
“Oh my, I think you look quite nice! Olive is definitely one of your colors. Here!” The girl fumbled somewhat but showed Pen to a tall mirror in the far corner of the room.
It was… certainly a look. Not one she was used to but that was expected. The dress fit fine and it did look nice. Pen couldn’t help but notice, though, that it sat oddly on her. Not tight or revealing by any means, just… a gentler looking piece of clothing on a less than gently built frame. It wasn’t exactly made to be worn by a muscled body.
“Oh erm here miss,” the young woman handed her a hair tie but pulled back, “or if you want I could help you put it up? Its at that weird point where its not long enough to… you know but too long to uh it can be difficult. If you want I can…”
“I… appreciate it but I’ll be fine. I think I'll leave it down for now.”
“Right. Well, here. Just in case you want to.”
She again handed the hair tie but this time let Pen take it. Pen stowed it around her wrist.
“Is Gareth?”
“Oh yes your friend is across the street at the Patterson's. I can bring you over if you like.”
“Lead the way.”
“Of course.”
The girl led her out of the house and across the street. Pen saw a couple putting up woven cloth streamers across the road. They anchored them in trees with some parallel and others crossing.
As the girl stepped up the front porch of the, apparently, Patterson's house she waved to an older gentleman in a rocking chair.
“Evening Mr. Patterson. This is Penelope, she was just calling on her friend.”
“Evening dear. Evening miss. Yer friend hasn’t come out yet but you can head on up. To the left at the top, far end door.”
“Thanks.”
His hand came up to keep her just a moment.
“Thank you miss.” He said accentuating the ‘you’.
He looked at her like they all did. She knew what he meant and as awkwardly as it always was she smiled and nodded before she pushed past him. At least he had the good sense not to salute.
As she climbed the stairs just inside the door to the house she heard the man ask a question of the girl.
“Dear, could you ask your mother about a few fertilizer spikes? The peach is looking like it needs some help.”
Pen continued too far to make out her reply but could guess by its warm tone that it was a yes. She turned at the top of the stairs and walked to the end of the hall. Knocking on the door she called out to Gareth.
“You still soaking?”
“Just suiting up. I’ll be out in a min.”
A ‘min’ huh? Pen thought.
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I'm on the more radical side of things ideologically speaking. My wife just isn't. She and I used to see more eye to eye on things politically speaking but now I've realized that the only thing she cares about is feminism and nothing else. Which is great. I'm a feminist but I know there are more issues in the world than feminism alone. This came to a head with I huge argument we got in over her not caring about what's happening to Palestinians because of how Muslims treat women. This is messed up for obvious reasons.
I don't feel like I can speak to her about any of this kind of stuff anymore because it makes me not like her as a person. I feel extra stuck because we've been together for 12 years and have recently had a kid. I'm the only one working (Full time) to afford the bills and pay the mortgage I got stuck with. I got locked into this when I was liberal and thought being stuck in forced labor to pay off debt was a good idea.
Now I can't leave and do activism like I really want to atleast until I retire with a pension. Which is way to long to try and help how I can. I do love her with everything I have but not being able to share everything with her hurts.
I know this is a rant and I'm fine with it getting deleted if it's too off topic but I want some praxis and that's hard to come by when the people I love are at so much financial risk. I'm not sure she would go with me to do any kind of activism either.