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So I work in a retail store. I am 33 years old. I am not successful career wise, I don’t have my life figured out, I get depressed often, rely on marijuana to get by. Very likely, I possibly have ADHD, slow learning ability academically. I got lots of issues. Physical appearance I look like an average guy. I look like I’m in good shape Once in a while a girl comes along in my life (always a co worker situation) and sometimes it seems like she may be interested. From the outside it seems like there is good chemistry but I always feel like it is a trap for her. She doesn’t know that other than a smile or a hi, I have nothing to say, nothing to offer in a relationship. A female tends to light a fire up in me, it makes me feel alive, so I cannot help it but to be interested.
For the past month or two, I notice a new girl. She seems really young, anywhere from 18 to 23 years old. I’ll be surprised if she was 25. At first I didn’t do anything, didn’t think much of it, didn’t make a move, didn’t try to start anything with her. As time goes on, I am telling myself, “Stop your stupid ass, focus on yourself, don’t be a fool, she is way too young.” I am guessing she may feel an attraction towards me? Just my feelings, I may be flat out wrong. When I see her, I am very tense and unnatural.
Thank you for reading this post and if you would like, you can tell me how wrong it is for me to talk to this girl, or you can give me some advice of how to approach this situation. If I choose to have a conversation with her or try to have some sort of interaction with her, what should I say? Half of me is saying no do not, half of me is feeling the strong attraction towards her and stepping into LaLa Land

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/This_Musician7165 posting in TwoHotTakes
User account has since been deleted
Concluded as per OOP
2 updates - Medium
Original - 15th January 2024
Update in a comment - 16th January 2024
Final Update (Link no longer accessible)- 16th January 2024
​
My Step Dad purposefully ruined my $900 prom dress by washing it! Is there anything I can do such as take legal?
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Edit: Sorry for some reason Reddit took my original post down. This is my first time using Reddit
’ve never posted on here, but I really need advice because I’m so distraught and have no clue what I should do I’m only 17 and don’t know if there’s any legal action I can take. So for a little background I live with my bio mom and her husband since my dad and mom separated and were never married. I originally lived with my dad since I was 2 he won custody during the custody battle. However he later lost custody of me after having a bad work accident that made him paralysed and he wouldn’t be able to take care of me but I still see him every weekend and the whole summer. I moved in with my mom and her husband and their two sons ,1 stepbrother and 1 half brother, when I was 10. And ever since then my stepdad basically directly and indirectly says that I’ve disrupted their lives by coming back into my mother’s life, because I’m an extra person they have to take care of.
I’ve been working since I was in 10th grade and saving up for my senior yeacollege since last year with the money from my job since my mom and her husband let me know that only my mom would only help me with the basics such as my graduation cap and gown, senior dues, and senior class photo. Anything else I would have to pay for myself such as prom.
I get paid about $400 every two weeks from my job which Ive been saving in full, and then making extra money doing nails about $100 a week plus tip which I use as my spending money. Since it’s my senior and last year of high school I’ve been wanting to go all out for prom so I set a $800 budget for my prom dress. My prom is in April and I wanted to get my prom dress early since most of the actual cute ones sell out quick. So I went prom dress shopping in December and found a beautiful dress that’s costed $890. It’s dark green with a long train with rhinestone imbedded into it with glitter in the dress.
When I first showed my mom and stepdad the dress they asked how much it was, which I told them the amount and my mom said that she wouldn’t be paying for a dress that expensive which I replied it’s okay because I have more than enough money saved up to buy it, and I’ll still have a lot of money left over (23k to be exact but only my mom knows that) mom said I could get the dress and that it was very pretty, however my stepdad said that it’s irresponsible and a waste of money and I should use it for better things like helping out the family and paying some of the bills. And get a dress cheaper that’s max $300. Mind you both his son’s own PS5 and multiple $200+ shoes.
Long story short my mom disagreed with him and I ended up getting the dress in the end and she even put $150 toward it.
However ever since then he constantly brings up that I help pay for things around the house since I have so much money to throw away but my mom always shuts it down saying that I work hard for my money to save it and I already help about with paying the Netflix, Amazon prime, and Hulu bills while my step brother (18) don’t pay anything.
Anyway last Saturday we got into a really big disagreement because my stepdad suggested I should help my step brother pay for his prom to which I responded with no. He later called me selfish and said that it’s not fair that I get an expensive outfit while he doesn’t. And I guess I said with in a snarky way I responded with that’s not my child or my problem. He later tried to complain to my mom and she said that I was right and that if anything he should pay for his own prom.
Well today when I woke up from a nap I noticed my prom dress was missing from my closet since it’s in the very front of my closet and looked around for it. I then asked my stepdad if he has seen it since my mother was at work. And he said he had, and in fact he was washing it, while giving me a condescending smile. I immediately ran downstairs and saw my dress being washed on the heavy duty cycle I immediately cancel it and it was ruined. Majority of my rhinestones came out and the glitter was washed out the whole dress had been mangled.
I took one look at it and then threw it a trash bag and left for my friends house with the dress. I texted my mom and sent her pictures but I’m currently at my friends house and laying on her bed. My friends parent hanged it outside to allow it to air dry so my stepdad can’t put the blame on them if the dried it in the dryer. What makes me know he did to spite me because he never washes clothes, cooks or anything since “he’s the man of the house so he shouldn’t have to”, so there was no viable reason he could have for washing it, even if it needed washing.
Is there anything I can do? I know neither of them can replace being they are tough financial situation? I’ll update you guys when mom gets home. So far my stepdad has called 2x but I haven’t answered him. And my mom’s at work and can’t receive calls.
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Comments
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Fancy_Association484
My heart hurts for you. Get him to admit it over text then file small claims court.

OOP: He’s not gonna admit I don’t think imma try to get audio but we also have cameras with audio imma try and use them when my mom gets off

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Rhodin265
I didn’t see this suggested, but since you’re paying for the streaming services, change your passwords and log out all devices. Giant toddlers don’t get their tanties rewarded with their stepkid’s Netflix.
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Fromashination
It would be a dastardly shame if Step Dad's favorite shoes were accidentally left on the porch in the snow all night.
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Update - 1 day later
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Edit 1:I don't know how to add updates so imma just add an edit but my mom and me just got off the phone and she's pissed and otw home. She's currently otw home so me and my friend and her dad are otw to my house and my mom said she was gonna call the cops as soon as she get off the phone so they may be there by the time I get there. We've taken pictures and the uncle (my mom brother) will be over there by 8 bc I contacted him while at work. I've listened to all your suggestions about withdrawing my money out of my account so I thinking and I talked to my dad about that as well and told me I can stay with him
Edit/Update 2:When I got home my friend stayed in the car while her dad walked me in, and my step dad was already gone. However police were at the house. As of now police said they can’t really arrest him because it’s not like he broke the law of stealing (I don’t know how to explain it basically this theft isn’t breaking the law bc he washed it and didn’t keep it) they suggested I can get a confession and get him to pay or take him to small claims court. Also the dress is non refundable if damaged so I can’t return it or anything. While explaining to my mom what happened I kinda fumbled my words and started crying and she hugged me as I cried. And she said that he’s gonna pay for this, this financial issue has actually been a on going disagreement and I think he just pulled the last straw bc she is PISSED. Also I talked to my uncle and he’s actually off work and over his way over here.
Him and my stepdad apparently have a rough history since my dad has had a smart mouth towards him in the past. While explaining to my uncle what happened he said that it would be alright and if anything he’ll buy back the dress before it sells out, so I’ll have my dress by prom but he does expect my step dad to pay me back one way or another so I’m basically probably gonna get my dress for free. Maybe that’s a little win. I’ll update more probably later tonight. But things seem to be good.
Edit: Also to clear up some confusion I pay the streaming service bills bc I really want to watch the shows on those services and my mom works hard but doesn’t make enough to have those services on top so I’ve offer to pay them so we could have them. She not a horrible “I’ll pick my husband over you” mother and she always defend me and he’s never pulled a stunt like this just tries to convince her to control my money and savings. And she’s never spent my saving either. I feel like thats why they always clash because he has a mindset of we have all these financial troubles and your daughter could solve them with her savings and you have access to them.
Edit/Update 4: Okay so my uncle came over and he and my mom had a little argument bc he blamed her for enabling my stepdads behaviour by not leaving him and thats why he felt comfortable to do what he did. And she argued back saying she always defended me against him and has never taken any of my money (which is true). We all talked about it a bit and she revealed that last night they had actually had a argument about paying off a car payment because she made a comment about how all these bills are taking a toll on her, and he made a comment about how it wouldn’t be that much of a toll if she used my savings and didn’t allow me to spend it on foolishness and she got mad and defensive bc he keeps bringing it up.
He also said that the $900 I spent could’ve payed off that car payment for the next 2 months. Btw he only know about my savings because he know how’s much I get paid and that I’ve been saving all of it. So we think that’s what triggered him to throw my dress in the washer.
My mom and stepdad has also been texting back and fourth and he admitted that he washed it to teach me a lesson that I shouldn’t spend that much money on a dress that can be destroyed that easily but he put the setting on heavy duty so he obviously intended to destroy it. My uncle has also offered to replace the dress so I don’t need to worry about not getting to wear my special dress. We called the boutique and explained it to them and they say they can order another dress although it won’t be there until Feb 23 which fine tbh.
My mother sent my step dad a long threatening message basically calling him out shes kinda heated rn so imma try and ask for a screenshot later. Her and my father also spoke and decided that it’d be best that I get my own bank account so that my step dad can’t use the excuse that she has access to my account so that’s also great. My mom and I had a talk about what gonna happen after this and she said shes not sure as of just yet bc it’s all a little too much for her bc she seriously contemplating leaving him, but i guess she don’t wanna actively discuss that right now. Also my stepdad is currently at a friends house. I’ll continue to update possibly may get one tomorrow. My friends parent are gonna keep the dress over their house and imma pick it up tomorrow to have as proof.
Edit:I apologise for not being to update since Reddit took down my post because of a “no walls text rule” that I was unaware of but it’s all good now
Edit/Update 5: My uncle has transferred me $1000 for my prom dress and I’m actually planning on using the money for replace the dress and buy new shoes. He’s very well off, which was one reason I contacted him in the first place.
So I plan on just calling the boutique and seeing if they can reorder it and I’ll just pick it up from there sometime in February. However my step-dad still must pay in some form, or at least we are trying to get him to. My uncle has called my other uncles and aunts (with my permission) to basically vent about the situation.
So majority of my mom side who all live in GA knows about what happened. I woke up to a lot of text about the situation given sympathy, as well as money to have for prom which have totalled to about $300. So this is great. My mom has also contacted my step-in-laws who then spread the news with pictures and I guess most of them are shocked as well other than his mother his is buying his claim that it’s just a dress and it was a accident despite evidence. I got a call from my step-dad sister sympathising for me.
And through conversations with I learned that my step-dad has also been asking a lot of his family to help him with his finances. Because for some reason the dude has bought so many things to pay off he can’t keep up with them.
My mom called my step-dad for answers which we recorded. And he’s basically trying to blame her bc if she didn’t piss him off last night then he wouldn’t have done it. And that he was trying to show me why I shouldn’t be irresponsible with money bc I guess he planned to lecture afterwards.
Also my mom has broken up with him bc he blamed her for caring more about me than him, which is weird. Which ensured in a argument with her saying “you think i care about her more than you, your gonna see just how much I do”
Also they’ve been on a rocky relationship since he can’t manage money and this was her breaking point.
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Comments
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TaffyAppl
Just saw this update!! Now that you have the text, please show the police as confession as destruction of property and/or take him to court to pay for it. It’s not fair to your uncle. Once you get your step dad to pay up, you can pay your uncle back. Girl Good luck!
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sherbear97124
What your step-dad did is called malicious mischief and is a crime. With the confessions and proof, there probably is a case. Just know that because of the monetary value, it's most likely just a misdemeanor charge. Regardless, you definitely have a small claims case against him. Sadly, by the sounds of his financial affairs, you'll be lucky if he ever pays, but it's still worth pursuing. Good luck!
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Update - same day later
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Edit/Update 6: Sorry to post on here Reddit keep telling me to try again later so sorry again
Okay so a lot of bs has transpired. Firstly we’ve place an order for my dress, and they are shipping it now and it should be at the boutique by Feb 23 so all that is taken care of. My SD and mom are officially broken up and my mom said she doesn’t now if she’ll move on with divorce proceedings yet bc everything is still fresh and lawyer are expensive and she can’t afford it rn.
Also they have a prenup so they don’t share assent and the house is my mother dad house she inherited (she had a different dad than all her siblings and all her siblings share a dad).
So my step father showed back up with his brother after a while and my step father decided to do and buy me a new dress from Macy that looks similar to dress in color and length but it’s very tacky and ugly. And look nothing like the original.
He then tried to apologise and said it wasn’t his intention to ruin the dress. he said that he was simply gonna wash it and say “see this is why you don’t buy things like this” and then he would’ve bought me another dress…. But that’s make absolutely no sense.
Also my uncle came back to my house after I texted him my step dad came back (he was at the store) and they got into a big argument where basically my uncle demanded to know why he destroyed the dress
And my step dad said he not gonna walk up in his house demanding shit, and my uncle called him a bitch. And then my SD said to call him a bitch again which he did and they ended up fighting. (My SD lost) he threatened to call the cops but we reminded him that he swung first
After that my step dad went on a tirade and cussed us out and left and took the dress with him.
We are actually planning on taking y’all advice and taking him to small claims court given the evidence and the damage. And hopefully we win. Also my SD is staying at his parents house currently.
Lastly for all curious about my brothers they are 15 (half) and 18 (step) .The 15 was at his girlfriend house since Friday so he wasn’t home for any of the commotion but did reach out to me today, I love him so much. And the 18 year basically sided with his dad so that all there is to say.
Also those who suggested changing the streaming’s passwords I have change them. And me and my mom are gonna get me my own bank account later today. Thank you guys for all the support I’ll continue to update as thing come and our plans of action and the verdict and all
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Comments
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

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Per the CDC, the vaccines do not prevent infection or transmission, after lying several times about that issue. You are trading natural immunity for temporary ersatz immunity that will likely lead to other autoimmune issues on a long enough time line. Vaccinated died more in clinical trials than with a placebo.

How Federal Health Authorities Could Ignore Widespread Vaccine Injury and Deaths

In the modern era, it is rare to suffer permanent disability or death from measles in the United States. Between 1900 and 1963, the mortality rate of measles dropped from 13.3 per 100,000 to 0.2 per 100,000 in the population, due to advancements in living conditions, nutrition, and health care— a 98% decline (Fig. 1).2,5 Malnutrition, especially vitamin A deficiency, is a primary cause of about 90,000 measles deaths annually in underdeveloped nations.6 In the U.S. and other developed countries, 75–92% of hospitalized measles cases are low in vitamin A.7,8
https://physiciansforinformedconsent.org/measles-disease-information-statement.pdf

MMR Vaccine Debate Heats Up as Media Claim ‘Vaccine Hesitancy’ to Blame for Recent Outbreaks

Be Very Afraid? CDC, Big Media Drum Up Fear of ‘Deadly’ Measles Outbreaks

https://childrenshealthdefense.org/defendecdc-big-media-fear-measles-outbreaks/
An Italian study found that if you get measles, your immunity is lifelong, whereas your immunity after getting the two doses of the measles vaccine declines within 10-15 years.
This paper looked at the recent experience with measles in the U.S. (2002-2016) and reported there were 1,018 measles hospitalizations over that 14-year period. That is 73 hospitalizations per year.
There were a total of 34 deaths or about 2.4 deaths per year. That is out of a population of 327 million people. So your chances of dying from measles in the U.S. were about 1 in 136 million.
We are told that globally measles is a huge deal. Like any disease, it’s certainly a bigger deal if you are poor and don’t get enough to eat.
However, in 2019, the World Health Organization reported 839 cases in 23 states comprising 328 million people, thus making the rate about 1 in 391,000.
It’s true that kids in poor countries can die from measles, yet they also die from everything else that kills poor, malnourished people living in countries without clean water, sanitation or functioning healthcare systems.

Vaccines Using Live Viruses Spread Through Shedding

The Forgotten Science of Vaccine Disease Provocation

The amount of cases of measles declined by 98% before a vaccine was ever introduced in the 60s.
Unvaccinated children are healthier across the board.
Flu vaccines do not prevent transmission or infection
There is study after study after study finding that children without vaccines are healthier.
Elaborate breakdown of how widespread vaccination data is misrepresented in scientific papers.
Peer-reviewed studies on Mercury
Aluminum:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSgk5m3tds0&t=1387s (explanation of the research, essential to watch if you want to dismiss scientific articles for not being big enough)
https://aacijournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13223-018-0305-2
https://www.nature.com/articles/srep31578
https://www.nature.com/articles/srep06287
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0946672X21000523?via%3Dihub#tbl0005
https://drchristopherexley.substack.com/p/imaging-aluminium-in-human-brain

Hey guys,
Maybe we can start to make a collection of some tips and "nice to know" stuff to shorten up the waiting time 😉
Important: I know! Every information is already somewhere written down. So, actually, if you already read everything, than you won't find nothing new here.
Part 1: I start with multi floor settings: (Because I will use the S1 pro in several floors and I want to use the mopping option)
From Eufy FAQ (https://support.eufy.com/s/article/Navigating-Multi-Level-Cleaning-with-the-S1-Pro):
"Firstly, please manually move your S1 Pro robot to the desired area on a different floor. If the robot does not have a pre-existing map of this new area, it will automatically attempt to locate itself using its stored maps. Should the S1 Pro robot fail to locate itself using one of the stored maps, it will automatically initiate a new mapping process to create a new layout of the area before it begins its cleaning session.
In the case of mopping, the S1 Pro robot requires a slightly different approach. The robot will need to first complete the process of moistening its mopping pads and leave its Uniclean™ Station. Once this preparation step is done, you can then manually move the robot to the targeted area on another floor. By doing so, the S1 Pro robot is ready to start mopping the floor immediately.
Additionally, it is important to note that while the S1 Pro robot is capable of adapting to new environments, it cannot navigate stairs or move between floors on its own. Manual intervention is necessary to help the robot transition from one floor to another. With these simple steps, you can easily enjoy a clean home across multiple floors with minimal effort!"
From Kickstarter comment:
Thank you for your inquiry. Yes, the S1 Pro can be used for mopping on multiple floors, even without the presence of an Omni station on each floor. Here are a few points to consider:
In single sweep mode, the S1 Pro can support positioning, mapping, and cleaning. However, without a base station, it cannot return to charge when the battery is low.
In mopping mode, you would need to moisten the mop at the base station first. After that, you can manually take the robot to the second floor, where it will position itself, create a map, and start cleaning. Without a base station on that floor, the S1 Pro will not be able to return to the base to add water.
The built-in water tank of the S1 Pro can support mopping an area of up to 70 square meters on the low setting and up to 30 square meters on the high setting.
Currently, it is not possible to use one main unit with multiple base stations. Therefore, if you frequently use the device on multiple floors, it is recommended to purchase more than one S1 Pro. There is also a bundle available in our crowdfunding list that includes two units.
Part 2:
How does the filter of the dirt water container in the vacuum robot looks like. Important as well, it needs to be manually be cleaned. But, apparently the docking station reminds you to do so 😉
https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxkT62UU1d3svAvCXafFD0lxHr33leFBKd?si=DiMq8Hfr0sSjlAFF
Part 3:
Maybe for someone interesting as well:
How often you need to replace or clean the accessories (from the FAQ)
https://support.eufy.com/s/article/How-often-should-I-clean-or-replace-the-accessories-for-my-S1-Pro

Per the CDC, the vaccines do not prevent infection or transmission, after lying several times about that issue. You are trading natural immunity for temporary ersatz immunity that will likely lead to other autoimmune issues on a long enough time line. Vaccinated died more in clinical trials than with a placebo.

How Federal Health Authorities Could Ignore Widespread Vaccine Injury and Deaths

In the modern era, it is rare to suffer permanent disability or death from measles in the United States. Between 1900 and 1963, the mortality rate of measles dropped from 13.3 per 100,000 to 0.2 per 100,000 in the population, due to advancements in living conditions, nutrition, and health care— a 98% decline (Fig. 1).2,5 Malnutrition, especially vitamin A deficiency, is a primary cause of about 90,000 measles deaths annually in underdeveloped nations.6 In the U.S. and other developed countries, 75–92% of hospitalized measles cases are low in vitamin A.7,8
https://physiciansforinformedconsent.org/measles-disease-information-statement.pdf

MMR Vaccine Debate Heats Up as Media Claim ‘Vaccine Hesitancy’ to Blame for Recent Outbreaks

Be Very Afraid? CDC, Big Media Drum Up Fear of ‘Deadly’ Measles Outbreaks

https://childrenshealthdefense.org/defendecdc-big-media-fear-measles-outbreaks/
An Italian study found that if you get measles, your immunity is lifelong, whereas your immunity after getting the two doses of the measles vaccine declines within 10-15 years.
This paper looked at the recent experience with measles in the U.S. (2002-2016) and reported there were 1,018 measles hospitalizations over that 14-year period. That is 73 hospitalizations per year.
There were a total of 34 deaths or about 2.4 deaths per year. That is out of a population of 327 million people. So your chances of dying from measles in the U.S. were about 1 in 136 million.
We are told that globally measles is a huge deal. Like any disease, it’s certainly a bigger deal if you are poor and don’t get enough to eat.
However, in 2019, the World Health Organization reported 839 cases in 23 states comprising 328 million people, thus making the rate about 1 in 391,000.
It’s true that kids in poor countries can die from measles, yet they also die from everything else that kills poor, malnourished people living in countries without clean water, sanitation or functioning healthcare systems.

Vaccines Using Live Viruses Spread Through Shedding

The Forgotten Science of Vaccine Disease Provocation

The amount of cases of measles declined by 98% before a vaccine was ever introduced in the 60s.
Unvaccinated children are healthier across the board.
Flu vaccines do not prevent transmission or infection
There is study after study after study finding that children without vaccines are healthier.
Elaborate breakdown of how widespread vaccination data is misrepresented in scientific papers.
Peer-reviewed studies on Mercury
Aluminum:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSgk5m3tds0&t=1387s (explanation of the research, essential to watch if you want to dismiss scientific articles for not being big enough)
https://aacijournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13223-018-0305-2
https://www.nature.com/articles/srep31578
https://www.nature.com/articles/srep06287
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0946672X21000523?via%3Dihub#tbl0005
https://drchristopherexley.substack.com/p/imaging-aluminium-in-human-brain

Per the CDC, the vaccines do not prevent infection or transmission, after lying several times about that issue. You are trading natural immunity for temporary ersatz immunity that will likely lead to other autoimmune issues on a long enough time line. Vaccinated died more in clinical trials than with a placebo.

How Federal Health Authorities Could Ignore Widespread Vaccine Injury and Deaths

In the modern era, it is rare to suffer permanent disability or death from measles in the United States. Between 1900 and 1963, the mortality rate of measles dropped from 13.3 per 100,000 to 0.2 per 100,000 in the population, due to advancements in living conditions, nutrition, and health care— a 98% decline (Fig. 1).2,5 Malnutrition, especially vitamin A deficiency, is a primary cause of about 90,000 measles deaths annually in underdeveloped nations.6 In the U.S. and other developed countries, 75–92% of hospitalized measles cases are low in vitamin A.7,8
https://physiciansforinformedconsent.org/measles-disease-information-statement.pdf

MMR Vaccine Debate Heats Up as Media Claim ‘Vaccine Hesitancy’ to Blame for Recent Outbreaks

Be Very Afraid? CDC, Big Media Drum Up Fear of ‘Deadly’ Measles Outbreaks

https://childrenshealthdefense.org/defendecdc-big-media-fear-measles-outbreaks/
An Italian study found that if you get measles, your immunity is lifelong, whereas your immunity after getting the two doses of the measles vaccine declines within 10-15 years.
This paper looked at the recent experience with measles in the U.S. (2002-2016) and reported there were 1,018 measles hospitalizations over that 14-year period. That is 73 hospitalizations per year.
There were a total of 34 deaths or about 2.4 deaths per year. That is out of a population of 327 million people. So your chances of dying from measles in the U.S. were about 1 in 136 million.
We are told that globally measles is a huge deal. Like any disease, it’s certainly a bigger deal if you are poor and don’t get enough to eat.
However, in 2019, the World Health Organization reported 839 cases in 23 states comprising 328 million people, thus making the rate about 1 in 391,000.
It’s true that kids in poor countries can die from measles, yet they also die from everything else that kills poor, malnourished people living in countries without clean water, sanitation or functioning healthcare systems.

Vaccines Using Live Viruses Spread Through Shedding

The Forgotten Science of Vaccine Disease Provocation

The amount of cases of measles declined by 98% before a vaccine was ever introduced in the 60s.
Unvaccinated children are healthier across the board.
Flu vaccines do not prevent transmission or infection
There is study after study after study finding that children without vaccines are healthier.
Elaborate breakdown of how widespread vaccination data is misrepresented in scientific papers.
Peer-reviewed studies on Mercury
Aluminum:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSgk5m3tds0&t=1387s (explanation of the research, essential to watch if you want to dismiss scientific articles for not being big enough)
https://aacijournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13223-018-0305-2
https://www.nature.com/articles/srep31578
https://www.nature.com/articles/srep06287
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0946672X21000523?via%3Dihub#tbl0005
https://drchristopherexley.substack.com/p/imaging-aluminium-in-human-brain

Lots of AI People want to build big AI Models like GPT 4. Let's talk about some techniques that will let you scale up your Models without breaking the bank.
1) Batch Size: Increasing batch size can reduce training time and cost, but may impact generalization. This trade-off can be mitigated with techniques like "Ghost Batch Normalization", as suggested in the paper "Train longer, generalize better: closing the generalization gap in large batch training of neural networks".
2) Active Learning: It's a pretty simple idea- if you have a pretrained model, there are data points that are easier and other data points that are harder for it. The data points that are harder to work with have more potential information for your model. One great implementation of this is Meta's "Beyond neural scaling laws: beating power law scaling via data pruning".
3) Increasing the Number of Tokens: Research from Deepmind's paper "Training Compute-Optimal Large Language Models" emphasizes the importance of balancing the number of parameters with the number of training tokens in language models to achieve better performance at a lower cost. If you're into LLMs, would highly recommend reading this paper b/c it's generational.
4) Sparse Activation: Algorithms like Sparse Weight Activation Training (SWAT) can significantly reduce computational overhead during training and inference by activating only a portion of the neural network. 5/7 must know idea.
5) Filters and Simpler Models: Instead of relying solely on large models, it is often more efficient to use simpler models or filters to handle the majority of tasks, reserving the large model for complex edge cases. You'd be shocked how much you can accomplish with RegEx, rules, and some math.
By combining these strategies, we can unlock the potential of large AI models while minimizing their environmental impact and computational costs. As Amazon Web Services notes, "In deep learning applications, inference accounts for up to 90% of total operational costs", making these optimizations crucial for widespread adoption.
To learn more about these techniques, read the following- https://artificialintelligencemadesimple.substack.com/p/how-to-build-large-ai-models-like?utm_source=publication-search

Female, 28 years old.
My son has a plastic toy bear trap from Hello Neighbor. Tonight, I full on stepped on the thing and it slid out from under my step and I fell pretty hard. Screwed up my knee and wrist a bit, nothing too extreme I’m sure.
However, the heel of my foot has been punctured and the callous seems to have been pushed into the wound if that makes sense. I have washed it and used Neosporin and bandaged it. However, I imagine unless the “flap” comes out of the wound it will heal weird. More pressing I think, is that my foot definitely wasn’t clean since I was walking around barefoot so I’m not sure how much crap has gotten into the wound.
Should I have it looked at tomorrow by urgent care? I don’t want to over react but I also have a bad habit of under reacting (I have chronic conditions so I’m sure both come with the territory).
Heres what it looks like

lets collaborate once again as one HUGE community and complete another stealth changes list together! This time for update 7.2!

Reply bellow all stealth and hidden changes that you guys encountered! those which have not been included in patch notes.

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READ ME:

I would like to thank y'all for such big teamwork and help with past . lists. this list has gotten few minor improvements and two new sections. I hope that this little tradition of ours will last forever! thank you for being you Battlefield community! and Im really happy that I can be part of this OG community!!!
Also my long awaited “Features wanted by community” post will go live some time after this one. It will works same way. I will not delete things from there tho. I’ll just add other that you guys suggest. And you will be able to agree/disagree with things on that list by discussing bellow. Anyway, let’s do some work again and enjoy 2042 together!

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This list may contain fixes and also additions or any smaller improvements. These may differ also by platforms and users and etc. so for you it might not be difference or change/fix. But most of them are verified and if not. I will mention it. Verification process is based on how much users reports these stealth changes (if vast majority does) then these changes will advance to in-game verification process. (This one may differ by: platform, settings and etc.)
I will also try to avoid obvious bugs. But 100% for sure I will accidentally include few. Or even accidentally add some twice. There is chance that I may also include few which has been included in official patch notes by DICE.
I will also add some bugs that are also long persistent and haven’t been fixed for ages.
Also I would like to ask all content creators who are gonna use this list in their videos to give credit to all of Redditors mentioned bellow cause without them you guys wouldn't have any list to use in your vids! thank you for understanding.

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SECTIONS OF THIS POST

1. Stealth Changes
2. Performance Corner
3. Community Wish

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All stealth changes that community found out about:

#1
#2
#3
#4
#5
#6
#7
#8
#9
#10
#11
#12
#13
#14
#15
#16
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#28
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#37
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#42
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#62
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#64
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#69
#70
#71
#72
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#75
#76 ⁠
#77
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#92
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#99
#100
#101
#102
#103
#104
#105
#106
#107
#108
#109
#110
#111
#112
#113
#114

[WORK IN PROGRESS! - still adding new stealth changes! I’m adding new in “waves” for example: after I gathered 10 stealth changes I’m going to add these to the list all at once.]

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Performance corner:

report your performance and setup bellow. If is it better or worse. Include your PC specs and in-game settings that you are running your game on.
+ Better:
=
=
+ Worse:
=
=

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COMMUNITY WISH FEATURE

THE WISH: Make All Chat enabled by default.
WISHES fulfilled:
✅ Ability to remove attachments from guns ✅
Rules for Community wish
most upvoted (COMMUNITY WISH FEATURE) suggestion that is mentioned bellow by you guys. Will get shout out in this section. other wish can take others place in this shout out section if it will have more upvotes than previous one.
Please tag these as: COMMUNITY WISH
So it’s easier for me and many others to spot these and be considered as proper wish.

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all previous STEALTH CHANGES list posts for past updates

UPDATE 4.0 (0.4.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 4.1 (0.4.1) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 1.0 (1.0.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 1.1 (1.1.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 2.0 (2.0.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 2.1 (2.1.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 2.2 (2.2.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 3.0 (3.0.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 3.1 (3.1.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 3.1.2 ( 3.1.2) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 3.2 (3.2.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 4.0 (4.0.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 4.1 ( 4.1.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 4.1.1 (4.1.1) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 4.2 (4.2.0) STELATH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 4.2.1 (4.2.1) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 5.0 (5.0.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 5.1 (5.1.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 5.2 (5.2.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 5.3 (5.3.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 6.0 (6.0.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 6.1 (6.1.0) STEALTH CAHNGES LIST
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UPDATE 6.2 (6.2.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 6.2.1 (6.2.1) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 6.3 (6.3.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 6.4 (6.4.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 7.0 (7.0.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST
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UPDATE 7.1 (7.1.0) STEALTH CHANGES LIST

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if I replied “added” and you still don’t see your stealth change. It’s because it is in process of validation

so I just first wanted to say that this is ongoing if this might blow up in going to consider making another post. So me M and this Girl F, which we'll call Koreaboo for the sake of privacy, have had problems in the past due to me not having an interest in her because I am happily taken. We went to the same mixed volleyball group, which is important. As I had to choose between Friday and Monday, I chose Friday because more of my friends were there but as a couple months passed they allowed us to also go back to the Monday group for some reason. My 2 friends have also a big role in this both F I will be calling one Gwen and the other one Shorty so basically they are also friends with Koreaboo and because we have to pair up with only 2 people Gwen is left out and so I started asking Koreaboo if she'd come to training. So now to the main part on Monday, I got called outside by my teacher because Koreaboos parents want to sue me because I apparently told her I'd break all her bones if she didn't come which I find super weird so the quick run down what happened was it was the 2nd break and I asked koreaboo if she'd come today and after a couple minutes again so she responded "okay" in which I jokingly replied with "if you won't come I'll slap you" which I didn't say in a mean demeanor I said it laughing and not all tough. When I got the information that they wanted to press charges because I threatened to break all her bones which I didn't I was shocked and asked a mutual friend if I really threatened her she said no because she was there all the time and so I asked my friends and even her friends that were there and they all said that they received it as a joke and were shocked when I told them what happened her best friend which I'll call Delaware texted her later on and sent me screenshots we got into talking and apparently I also threatened to hit her with a ball? which I never did or at least I couldn't remember so I asked my friends in our group chat they all responded that I didn't so I'm not sure how it's going to go on but her parents are going to have a talk with my mother even though id prefer my sister because my mother doesn't have that kind of time and my step fathers German is not very good I'll update if I can and would appreciate some advice. and sorry bad grammar

Injustice is intolerable to the human. By his nature, Prince Regen disobeyed his father, Lord Sard, who was master of exports on Astragoth, second in power only to the planetary minister, the emperor's own nephew Anj Kurim. Perhaps how Prince Regen became son to Anj Kurim is a tale too bold to ever be repeated, for it dares the instinct of man to do right or wrong, the hearts of the young to fall in love from mere eye contact and the honor of the knights who braved the arena on the tournament of Easter. A tale too bold, but I'd go mad to keep it all to myself:
The lords in question were the three barons of slag on Astragoth who commanded the planetary production of mech armor alloys, Astragoth's most valuable export. The types are well known, Bronze-Steel, Silver-Steel and Gold-Steel, although none of those alloys contain any such metals, they are named poetically, rather than literally. Lord Sard grew quite suspicious of them, or perhaps jealous. He had them summoned, stripped, beaten and arrested, accusing them of crimes against his office. His next order of business was to have their estates seized.
Normally such a moment would be conducted honorably through a Trial of Combat, but since these men were severe mech knights, Lord Sard chose caution over honor. His son was not such a coward, and witnessing the atrocity, he fought his way into the holding compound in light armor without markings, but only so the guards would not die withholding their attacks. Regen considered dying honorably to be more important than shielding himself with his identity. When he had rescued the three lords, he did turn himself in, for he took responsibility for his actions.
Lord Sard was furious and had his son exiled. Regen was sent into the frontiers of Astragoth with only his fine robes, a horse, some supplies and a servant named Igor. Igor was quite corrupt, and when they were out in the wilderness he shot Regen in the back of his head when the prince was bathing in a stream, and left him there face down in the water, believing he had killed him. Letting nothing go to waste, Igor took everything, the clothes, supplies, horse and even the prince's identity, managing to assume the prince's identity.
Regen was not dead. By a miracle he'd survived, and the gunshot attracted a retired combat medic who fought in the Scratch Wars and had seen much worse than a naked, drowned man with a gunshot wound in his head. She easily patched him up, rolling the cosmic dice with critical precision. It was not enough for Regen to have his memory intact, as he had severe amnesia.
By instinct he was still very honorable and brave, and pleased with this, he was made apprentice to the one who'd saved his life. She taught him how to care for the kinds of injuries the locals came to her with, and in time he grew wise in the ways of medicine and he worked hard, volunteering to help anyone who needed his strength.
One day he came to the main star port of Astragoth, travelling in the world and seeking his fortune. The daughter of Anj Kurim, Lili, was getting married soon. The whole city was in a state of celebration and three days of games were declared, in which mech knights would duel for the honor of Princess Lili's favor. No mech knight who wasn't willing to risk death would dare step into a close-range combat in the Phoenix Dome, as the impressive arena of Astragoth was called then.
Regen put his only coin into the coffer of the richest man on the planet and bought a ticket to the games. The likelihood that he'd be seated so that Princess Lili could not take her eyes off of him was only the whim of such stars. She'd seen him there and something was different about this man than any she'd ever seen. Some part of her had sailed through the ethers at the dawn of time, and he was her other half, torn from her when she was born as a human on Astragoth. That's how the Princess described the feeling.
Regen glanced across the crowd and met her gaze. He felt like his world began that day, at that moment, as though suddenly every detail of his life became relevant. It was all so he'd be at ~Bed, Bath and Beyond~, right there in the Phoenix Dome as an eight-meter-tall fusion-powered battle armor mech walked out the gates spraying steam at thirteen hundred degrees Celsius from its flamers.
The opposite gate opened but there was no other mech. A weird silence fell over the crowd. It wasn't uncommon for someone to forfeit, anything could go wrong. There was a challenge issued, not as though any unexpected contestants ever answered it. Yet this time a mech in full bronze-alloy armor did enter Phoenix Dome. Nobody knew who it was, and when the newcomer won the battle, they left without claiming the victory.
On the second day, the new husband of the Princess Lili was revealed, and the games would be in his honor as well. He was Prince Regen, except it was really Igor, having assumed Prince Regen's identity. When the combatants were about to fight a third mech entered the arena, this time in silver-alloy armor. He fought both enemies at once and defeated them. Again, before claiming the victory, the mech knight left the arena.
Lord Anj Kurim had a battalion of mech painted in white and decorated with garlands surrounding the arena on the third day. No more intrusions and dishonorable departures. The insults on the first two days by mysterious mech knights could only be surpassed by the games of the final day.
No mech knight had the courage on the third day. Anj Kurim worried this was worse and relayed to the mech commander of the wedding games detail to allow any rogue mech knights in, deciding it couldn't be worse than no games at all.
When the mech knight in the gold-alloy came around the corner and spotted the battalion guarding the arena, he did not know they were ordered to let him past. He charged at them, firing his weapons and they scattered. The holo displays in Phoenix Dome showed this exchange, emphasizing the damage to the government-owned superstructure, cashing in on each chunk of concrete sheared away by laser fire.
The gold-alloy mech stood in the arena alone. Someone had hijacked the holo displays and suddenly they showed the face of just one man in the crowd, and as he looked up he recognized himself. It was all coming back to him in a flood of memories.
The other two mech from the previous games entered, the bronze-alloyed and silver-alloyed. They stood side by side, having found Prince Regen in the crowd and turned their mech to face him.
"Open your cockpits and reveal yourselves." They were ordered by Lord Anj Kurim.
They were the three lords Regen had set free so long ago.
"Honor the Princess!" they were told and they did.
"Now the Prince!' but they saluted the man on the holo display instead of Igor. Lord Anj Kurim saw that Igor was terrified. He drew his sword and beheaded Igor on the spot, his blood spraying all over the booth, and Princess Lili was barely able to escape the gore.
The real Prince Regen was married to the Princess Lili, and the remains of Igor were tossed to the dirt floor of the arena and left there. Soon Regen inherited Lord Anj Kurim's position and had his father's power stripped from him and he gave the three lords back their old homes.
And the armor? What alloys are we even talking about? Some say the bronze is infused with courage, to do what is right even when it is very dangerous and to overcome fear in order to act. Some say silver is imbued with the holiness of love, how it causes miracles, drives us to our destiny and opens the locked doors of fate. And gold? Gold stands for honor, an unyielding adherence to fairness and justice.

I wonder why I let her hurt me like this. I mean be okay with her walking in and out of my life. Part of me understands how difficult it is for her to consider the idea of flying here or even meeting up in Singapore. I feel like maybe I should put myself under microscope first, because sometimes the things she says, makes me realise if I'm really someone who I never thought I was?
There's a certain comfort and connection we share. And it's generally very good. I know what I want in life, but somehow I feel like I've to question it every step of the way. I don't understand why.
I don't quite understand how people can say something at one moment and change or be someone else on the other. Feel like maybe they are okay to be focused on now and here, instead of plans to be with someone. I might not been in relationships a lot, but everyone in any given relationship makes plans and tries to take steps ahead, together as a team. I mean even a certain friend I know, whose life was a struggle is happy, now that he has someone by his side, and they are making great strides as two people together.
It's strange to find myself in this situation. Pain doesn't make my day any better.
Yeah, maybe I just need to relax for a while. Decompress. I think I've been invested in this relationship for far too long. Maybe she doesn't want to be in this relationship. I wish I can just go some place and leave all my troubles behind for few days.

Hello OKOP empire. Thank you for taking time to read this. it will be long but on to my story.
So I'm going to give background of the beginning of my life. It was my determining factor of why I didn't want anything to do with her. Names I use are not their real names.
When I was conceived my Bio mom (we'll call her Sally (17F) ) already had a little girl my bio half sis (call her Chrissy (1F) ) Chrissy would go to our babysitters house ( call her Jenny (34F) ) while Sally went to school. When bio Grandma (Call her Karen, don't know how old she was at that time) found out Sally was Pregnant with me, She was furious, According to my Bio Aunt (Deny (14F) ) Karen almost killed us. Deny said she had to step in and stop Karen from hitting Sally even more after she threw her down the stairs. After her rage subsided she took Sally and Chrissy to an apartment and said you want to be sleuthing around your old enough to live on your own. Sally kept trying to go to school as she dropped off Chrissy at Jenny's, then would go to a job and try to make things work.
Time goes on and I am born, I then started going to Jenny's as well sometimes spending the night with Chrissy as well at times.
Now Jenny was Babysitting in the day, EMT at night and did foster care with her husband Lee (38M). his job was teaching Spanish. Super hero's in my eyes FR.
After that month Jenny said she had not seen me and Chrissy for about 2 weeks. She got a call from social services asking her to go to Sally's apartment to check on her and the children. Jenny wasted no time at all grabbed her bag as her son (Josh (10M) ) asked to go with she said sure.
Jenny went up too the apartment door and knocked, with no answer but as they stood outside she could hear kids crying inside but still no one came to answer the door. She went and got the manager of the apartment complex and asked him to open Sally's door. But she had to call the cops and paramedics to come out before he could open the door. they had to stay outside for about 20 Mins for the emergency services to show. They finally get the door open and see Sally on the couch unresponsive. Jenny went to the bedroom door as one of the police officers had to break it down due to it being locked. I was only around 2 months old and Chrissy at this point was almost two years old and didn't know how to open doors at that time. So Josh went in with Jenny, seeing Chrissy trying to feed me a bottle that was filled with curdled milk. Josh looked at Jenny and said mom she looks dead referencing me. They rushed us to the hospital and found that Sally was alcohol poisoned and I was very dehydrated, underweight, eyes sunken into my sockets. Doctor told Jenny if i were not able to gain weight in 3 days i would be in ICU for failure to thrive ( basically all organs start to shut down and would basically be dying). Chrissy and I were put into Jenny's foster home that night. Jenny took us home and feed me close to 8-8oz bottles. she said it was the most amazing thing as i ate my skin turned back to a pinkish color my eyes came out and my body started filling out, never throwing up a drop.
Time goes on and we were put into the fosteadopt program. Karen wanted Chrissy but did not want me. She ended up taking Chrissy without finalizing papers with the court, taking off to another state.
I was a little over 2 yrs old when Jenny and Lee official adopted me. Now she was my mom and he my dad giving me 5 brothers and 1 sister. Big family I know
I was 6 yrs old when we had ready a weekly reader on adoption in school. A lot of what they were saying in it with how adoptees feel is exactly how I felt, also as my family would be talking about who got what from which parent. I asked who's eyes did I have and my mom would answer you have your mothers eyes. I got very confused about that then we read that weekly reader. So many questions had swirled in my mind. One day as my mom and I are walking into a Wal-Mart crossing the front where the cross walk is as I'm holding her hand, I asked her mom am I adopted? She looked at me with a pause and said well yeah you are in a more concerned voice then any other emotion. I didn't ask anymore questions for a few days, but one night I walked into my parents room and asked why did my family give me up and all my mom said was god meant for us to have you. I then asked if i had any sisters or brothers and she told me about Chrissy. Being so little I couldn't really deal with the thought of someone just threw me away and felt like I did something wrong and that's why my bio family didn't want me.
As I get older with a year or two in between i would keep going to my mom asking more questions. Now you remember my parents also did foster care as well and I would hear and comprehend at around 12 of the children coming to my home for things and they would tell me of there horrifying story of how they ended up in the system. A lot of them were horrible stories and I couldn't understand how a parent do something as bad as they did to their own children.
When I was Fourteen I went to my mom where my brother Josh was talking with her about something and said ok mom I am old enough to know what exactly what happened to me cause I deserve to know my story. I saw my brother and her share this look of like hey its time she should know kinda face. She then proceeded to tell me the whole story minus what i wrote about Karen and Sally bit cause she did not know about that. Deny is the one that filled me in about that. Deny was the one to call in with concerns about us that day my life was saved, to social services.
I spent many days with free time in computer class looking so hard for my half sister after that but since it was still so new at that point I could not find much out about anyone.
More time goes on and I was around 26 yrs old and I do a little google search looking for Sally sue to her being the only way i could possibly find my half sister. I had found a birth certificate that I had a very strong feeling that it was Sally's, A couple months go bye with no other hits and one day i see i have two message requests on FB one from Deny which she began by giving info about me where we lived and just personal info that no one else would of known except for the ones involved. i had another from Chrissy who was saying basically the same thing. I went numb. from the top of my head to the tip of my toes i felt like electricity was vibrating my body. I asked my husband what he thought he said its up to you love what ever you want to do i'm hear for you. so i begin to type and we had gotten to know each other. i went to their state and met them also met Karen. didn't really care for that but was told Sally was telling Chrissy and Deny to find me that was top priority to her for some odd reason. but anyway they asked if i would want to meet her, i answered im not sure im up for that yet.
I get back home after a 2 week visit and I was being asked many times to meet or at least talk with Sally. I finally said no i'd rather not cause i already have a wonderful loving mother and i rather not go down that road with Sally cause i couldn't get over her just leaving. Jenny gave permission for Sally to visit or send me letters as i grew as much as she wanted but she never sent anything or called. my adoption was an open/closed adoption. meaning Sally could contact me anytime and visit me where it was closed for the Bio father who was never in the picture. But Chrissy/Deny and I had a huge fight about it and are no longer in contact. its better cause it was a very toxic family and id rather leave the toxins out of my life.
So guys was I the AH for not wanting to meet/talk to Sally???
​

Today's anniversaries are:
2007

• Dance Gavin Dance - Downtown Battle Mountain (Rock)
  
• Megadeth - United Abominations ()
  

2013

• Red Seas Fire - Exposition (Metal)

2015

• Spectral Lore - Voyager (metal, ambient, electronic, space music, Αθήνα) Read our review.

2017

• Carl King - Grand Architects of the Universe (metal, dweezil zappa, marco minnemann, mark borchardt, mike keneally, morgan agren, music, prog, sir millard mulch, thomas lang, travis orbin, virgil donati, Los Angeles)
  
• Master Boot Record - 486DX (metal, alternative, avant-garde, black metal, chiptune, chiptunes, classical, cyberpunk, death metal, doom metal, electronic, experimental, industrial, progressive metal, rock, synthwave, Rome)
  
• Reversal - Finding It and Losing It (electronic, experimental, bass music, indie, jazz, Montreal)
  
• Somnium nox - Terra inānis (atmospheric black metal, black metal, metal, post black metal, atmospheric post black, experimental, hardcore, heavy metal, noise, post hardcore, progressive metal, sludge metal, thrash metal, Sydney)
  
• Ühtceare - La inexorable amargura en la existencia (Demo) (atmospheric black metal, metal, ambient black metal, industrial, Buenos Aires)
  
• Why Oceans - Inmost Dens of Emilie (soundtrack, ambient, cinematic, classical, film, instrumental, melancholic, post rock, post-rock, postrock, Macao)
  
• 嵯峨岚山 (Cuó'é lán shān) - Demos (metal, progressive rock, instrumental, progressive, progressive metal, Beijing)
  

2018

• Azeotropes - Azeotropes (free jazz. improvised music, jazz, Metz)
  
• Chris Pitsiokos Unit - Silver Bullet in the Autumn of Your Years (experimental, avant-garde, free funk, free jazz, funk, improvisation, jazz, noise, noise rock, New York) Read our review.
  
• Claret Ash - The Great Adjudication (atmospheric black metal, australia, black metal, claret ash, metal, chaos, Canberra) Read our review.
  
• Forest of Grey - Crypsis (metal, black metal, blackgaze, cascadian black metal, post-metal, psychedelic, Seattle)
  
• Forgotten Silence - Kras (metal, art, avantgarde, death, progressive, rock, Brno)
  
• Leviathan Owl - Love for the Other (progressive rock, rock, alternative rock, berklee college of music, instrumental, instrumental rock, math rock, post rock, post-rock, United Kingdom) Read our review.
  
• Shishko Disco - Shishko Disco (jazz fusion, neo-rock, world, gnawa, world fusion, Berlin) Read our review.
  
• Timōrātus - The Great Mortality (black metal, christian, metal, concept, concept album, death metal, doom metal, grindcore, husband and wife, multigenre, storytelling, Louisville)
  

2019

• Green Milk from the Planet Orange - Third (alternative, hardcore, heavey metal, heavy metal, progressive rock, toyko, hardcore, math rock, Tokyo)
  
• Incipient Chaos & Defenestration - Terre noire & Genocidal Heresy (black metal, death metal, metal, ambient, traditional music, Angers)
  
• Lynxx - The Home of the Headhunter (electronic, ambient, experimental-electronic, fantasy, field recordings, soundscapes, soundtrack, synth, tape, Pittsburgh)
  
• Robert Landfermann, Ingrid Laubrock, Achim Kaufmann, and Tom Rainey - Topaz (experimental, jazz, contemporary, free, improvised music, Köln)
  
• Ruby My Dear - Phlegm (breakcore)
  

2020

• Auto Kat - Elements of Music (jazz fusion, electro-jazz)
  
• Berried Alive - Fuego (metalcore)
  
• Binary Code - Mementō morī (progressive metal)
  
• Christian Rønn & Aram Shelton - Multiring (modern jazz)
  
• Ciolkowska - Психоделия (Psixodelija) (psychedelic rock)
  
• Crazy Doberman - Illusory Expansion (free jazz)
  
• Dinosaur - To the Earth (modern jazz)
  
• Dumb Waiter - Tsk (math rock, jazz fusion) Read our review.
  
• Eishan Ensemble - Afternoon Tea at Six (modern jazz)
  
• Grindboy Advance - Blastbeat Hyper Combo Finish! (cybergrind)
  
• Heron - Time Immemorial (doom metal)
  
• In Common - 2 (modern jazz)
  
• Infant Island - Beneath (blackgaze, post-hardcore)
  
• Iscle Datzira - Turu (experimental jazz)
  
• Kamasi Washington - Becoming (jazz, soundtrack)
  
• Lucas de la Rosa - Sunlight Highlights (progressive metal)
  
• Lucian Ban, John Surman, and Mat Maneri - Transylvanian Folk Songs: The Béla Bartók Field Recordings (modern jazz, folk)
  
• Moses Sumney - Græ (art rock, pop) Read our review.
  
• Muga - Chants de femmes des Asturies (folk) Read our review.
  
• Neige morte - ⅠⅠⅠⅠ (black metal)
  
• Patchwork - Patchwork (contemporary classical)
  
• Pattern-Seeking Animals - Prehensile Tales (progressive rock)
  
• Pilori - A nos morts (blackened grindcore)
  
• Sebastien Ammann's Color Wheel - Resilience (experimental jazz) Read our review.
  
• Sixth Circle - Pacified / Conjuring (darkwave)
  
• Sophie Min Orchestra - 선구자 (Seonguja / Bellwether) (jazz fusion)
  
• Tim Stine Trio - Fresh Demons (modern jazz)
  
• Time Bomb - Frozen Meat Conspiracy (mathcore)
  
• Tithe - Penance (blackened deathgrind)
  
• Tropos - Axioms / 75AB (avant-garde jazz)
  
• Иван Гребенщиков (Ivan Grebenščikov / Ivan Grebenschikov) - Sense and Sensitivity (contemporary classical)
  
• Катерина Зяблюк (Kateryna Zjabljuk / Katherine Zyabluk) - Borders Make You Grow (modern jazz)
  
• 大友良英 (Ōtomo Yoshihide) & Chris Pitsiokos - Live in Florence (experimental jazz)
  

2021

• Button Masher - Super Song Force (pop, chiptune)
  
• Joel Kent - Paper Dragon (nu prog)
  
• Panopticon - … And Again into the Light (atmospheric black metal)
  
• Radiant Knife & Woorms - Split (post-metal)
  
• Rïga - Amorphée (experimental electro)
  
• The Strangement Society - Radio Pulsars (avant-garde jazz)
  
• 陳陽熙 (Chan Teruki) - Seven Compositions from 上水 (Shàng shuī / Sheung Shui) (progressive rock)
  

2022

• Ben Woods - Dispeller (indie pop)
  
• Cosmic Epiphany - Labyrinth (progressive metal)
  
• Jannis Sicker Septett - Ages (modern jazz)
  
• Martin Küchen, Agustí Fernández, and Zlatko Kaučič - The Steps that Resonate (free improvisation)
  

2023

• Mystery - Redemption (progressive rock)
  
• Scud - Ⅲ (hardcore)
  
• Мор (Mor) - Стужа (Stuža) (progressive black metal)
  

So the last few years have been rough.
*note* if you're a "cheaters will always be cheaters type" tldr is don't bother reading or commenting
BACKSTORY 2019-2023 child nearly annual broken bones, lots of stress and specialist visits.
2018-2024 my wife got her associates as a medical assistant and is almost done with her bachelor's and final quarter internship while working full time and that has been hard for me. The lack of time for me and my son has really made an impact.
2019 I was injured at work and 2020 had my first surgery to try and preserve an ankle joint. That surgery ended up failing and while recovering I ended up mangling 2 fingertips in a wood jointer. 2020 I had to make the transition to a sahd on workers comp and have been since then. My lifestyle of hiking and fishing was upended because I could barely be on my feet 3 hours a day and uneven ground killed me not to mention the whole covid thing was pretty isolating.
All of 2021 was supporting her being a surrogate for a couple in City X (their egg/sperm). So, lots of trips checks and giving her injections. It was kind of proving myself to her because I was terrified when our son was born in 2017 and didn't help as much as I should have. Especially the first 3 months. Really, I didn't find out until later. We had conversations and fights at the time and id step up to do more and she would agree and tell me it was all okay. Then another fight saying I wasn't doing enough/anything and asking more and me being upset and confused. I guess at the time she was afraid to ask more, or tell me what she wanted, or her feelings, and the postpartum depression and initial feelings of abandonment didn't help.
Anyways the surrogacy went okay. I was there and supportive. Rubbing her feet and back. taking on extra load when she was tired etc. And hey I didn't pass out at delivery this time XD The end was a bit hard with 2 inductions needed and a massive 9.5lb baby and a stuck shoulder.
Then a few weeks after birth in November 2021 the nightmare began.
Out of nowhere she started hemorrhaging. She had to have an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding and scans showed a mass. Turned out the surrogate baby's placenta had some cells turn cancerous and attach to her uterus (Choriocarcinoma). 3 months later and the first 3 agent chemo failed, and her numbers were skyrocketing because it turned treatment resistant. They had to hit it with 5 types of chemo (EMACO) leaving future fertility a coin toss but more than a hysterectomy. By May 2022 the tumor marker was gone, but it was 6 months of intense monitoring and 6 months of monthly monitoring. The whole time she was in an intense spiraling depression questioning life. The meaning of all it, and how all her childhood trauma was fair. That no god would let a child live that. And questioning every decision in her life and wondering what things could have been like if she went a different direction. Feeling like she missed out on opportunities early in life. If this might be all there is (we have been together since she was 17). She said she felt like reality wasn't real and this was make believe at times.
Summer 2022 she made a new mom friend. She was pretty toxic and selfish. She used my wife for personal benefit and to go places. Yelled at her kids and treated the oldest from a prior marriage as less than (girl doesn't know her dad and when she mentioned she was part Mexican she freaked out and denied it because of how conservative and anti Mexican her new dad and his family is). Like never offered a dime, but expected food, gas, tickets, and gifts. She drove my wife nuts with that behavior. but she was desperate for a friend and loved her kids. Her friend would just talk shit about her partner pretty constantly and say my wife should be unhappy in her relationship too. Shit talking husbands behind their backs became like a mutual thing and I def hated it
Sometime 2023 she jumped into fantasy romance and fantasy smut /erotica. This progressed to an AI chat smut generator.
May 2023 monitoring was over and she was officially cancer free and had been on a health/mental health quest..
The mental health part started early in the year and she was seeing a therapist for depression and anxiety alone as well as her long list of childhood trauma. Off hand her therapist told her a few times she didn't know maybe just divorce me or something. I was super uncomfortable with this as it was completely outside her practicing scope and I didn't feel she should be providing relationship guidance, especially without me or the rest of the story. I felt a bit attacked and didn't even get the chance to give my perspective or account and felt that is pretty important after being here for a decade. A lot of negative points get omitted by her.
Summer 2023 she had some tough diagnosis for other chronic issues. Narcolepsy Dissociative Identity disorder Depression And a sleep disorder
I initially rejected this as I didn't want to accept these chronic and incurable conditions and insisted it has to be something else, that she's okay. It was taken as rejection of her.
Fall 2023 she reached out to a childhood ex bf a few states away and started an emotional affair. They kept in infrequent contact over the years and nothing ever came of it before. He has been unable to move past her or have meaningful relationships in 13 years. At first he pushed her away and rejected it, but after a month by Nov it was a thing. Texting saying I shouldn't worried because they dated before, but he ended up coming out as gay, calls in private, staying later after work. I gave it the benefit of the doubt but got burned. I found out in December the second time she wanted a private call in the car, and I checked her phone.
We started marriage counseling in Jan and I started my own therapy search as well as a condition of hers. She agreed to no longer contact the boy showed me the sent message ending it and blocked him. By Feb I found him listed in her phone as Saraa and found deleted texts and calls. In therapy she wanted to keep him as a friend and only friend and I tried this. She asked if a PO box would be okay for a birthday present, and I said no. That it crossed a line. It was also super close to Valentine's day. Next therapy I couldn't handle the anxiety and feeling physically ill when she used her phone, and we went through Jan again break off block etc.
In Feb the therapist recommended a separate space for conflict as we work on things. That too much conflict triggered her dissociative identity disorder. It was either a hotel as needed or a rv/camper. My wife was set on a camper and the only way to get a newer one was to add my credit/income to hers for a loan and I was uncomfortable on a $20k purchase. She assured me the intent of the camper was working on us and not separating/divorcing. She brought up me not having chores completely done all the time and I poured myself into it if that was making her unhappy over the years.
During this time in March I found out she got the secret PO box and had yet again resumed texting entirely deleting her logs. She had valentines gifts. birthday gifts, long distance electronic bracelets, and had an easter basket coming. Everything was put together into a box to be gotten rid of. That effort I had for chores and making everything spotless kind of died. Like there was that recognition that that obviously wasn't the problem. We lived completely separately for a few weeks until she could make a choice. We split our son and had almost zero interaction. Eventually she chose and I saw a notebook she used once in December. Basically she has started outlining a story envisioning herself as the lead character in once of her romantic fantasies and cast me and the other man as competing love interests
April and early may there was nothing. We did therapy and tackled our issues slowly. Together. Our future plans: college vs baby and the ticking clock of fertility and ifs after chemo. Etc
Last week she was going out for lilac picking and didn't text me for 2 hours and said she was at the beach. Later she showed me something in her email and I saw discord emails about a pw change and login. One bad gut feeling later and the next morning I see she deleted the discord emails and check our phone plan and her phone and see missing texts. I put in a phone record request for recent texts and text/call logs. She woke up and I said it did it and she said I was disgusting. Then admitted I was right.
She says after breaking it off she was worried he would hurt himself and just wanted to be sure he was okay and admitted to 3 texts and the discord call which i verified. Said that he was in therapy for his issues. She said she didn't want to bring it up to me because I would make it a fight and she thought she could just get away with a few texts to make sure. That she felt responsible for how much he had been hurt too.
So I did what I do with extreme anxiety and checked her work bag. I found an old journal they shared Jan to mid-march. Kind of confirmed again what was going on. Also revealed she lied to me about the trailer, or him? She couldn't get it without me and told him it was to work on separating from me easier. Yeah I kept pics in case this goes downhill because yeah, I'll gun for EVERYTHING. I'm sure that being tricked into signing a $20k contract under false pretenses for her personal benefit, secret po boxes, lying to our therapist repeatedly, secret texts, expecting gifts from the other man, career over spending time with family and a serious personality disorder on top of narcolepsy making a job hard to keep down wont do her favors at divorce/custody hearings.
So its all fresh for me again. I already have extreme anxiety and the autism doesn't help with reading/understanding people the best, although my gut intuition and pattern recognition are catching stuff fine.
WHERE I THINK I AM
Looking back, I can see that the personality disorder and narcolepsy are apparent. Dream delusion and memory issues from the narcolepsy make separating dream from reality hard as well as just recalling what happened. So whether not the "not feeling like reality is real" was a dream delusion or a full-blown dissociative episode... I can also see that messaging him was a "new" personality state. Maybe it's a manifestation of the trauma of nearly dying from cancer, maybe it's a fragment of her young identity that was created to survive her traumatic childhood resurfacing after nearly dying. But her interests and perspective massively shifted at that time and there was a clear separation between her with me and her with him. It was like this regression back to 15. Like she was molding an identity to fit his desires and interests. She took up tarot and witchy books, different music, painting, rockhounding (my interest), dried bouquets, dyed her hair and got multiple piercings. Even getting caught there was that click in her whole demeanor.
I can see how her friend may have jaded her towards me by all the shit she talked about HER husband. I can see that throwing herself into fantasy smut to cope flooded her with portrayals of unrealistic romance. That she progressed that by using an AI smut bot to hold those conversations with. Then she directly tried to process her own reality through the lens of those novels in that journal.
This "relationship" was "I love you, we can be together in 10 years". He wasn't going to leave his cushy job. Or his state. He didn't want to be a stepdad. He didn't want to support her career or have any involvement in it. She couldn't leave my state. Never saw illicit photos. No discussion of sex. It was like exactly what you think some lovestruck preteens would come up with. Like just a fantasy. No talk of bills or finances. Of moving. Of any substantial tangible entanglement.
Somehow that's easier to handle
I love her and don't want to leave her. But i desperately think she needs serious help and have told her I want her to do therapy 2x a month (on top of marriage therapy 2x).
I also think if a secret or deleted text happens again, I've got to take off the kid gloves and fight for it all. Cause well showing up at the dude's door would end in prison.
I'm sure this happening right as I fully got over last time and took a trust leap of faith on a "gay" friend that burned me will make it harder. I get the last few years have been garbage luck and I get almost dying can have profound affects though. She had been utterly loyal for 5 years (believe me I checked as we agreed to ie open book). Tying to see this with an open mind.
I get my exact expectations are muddy and part of this is just putting it into words to process for me, but I value if someone has any good input

i dont really know how to describe the horrible relationship i have with school and how much i regret pouring in so much of my heart to it to recieve nothing in return. school has always been so incredibly draining for me and competitive and i fucking hate how it just consumes my whole life. i dont regret getting my degree, i just immensely regret how much of my life i felt like i put on hold because of it- and i have been doing it since middle school.
i was placed in a advanced program that was taking classes two years ahead of grade level and it was such a massive turning point for me because i started basing my whole worth and personality on it. which i know is entirely my fault, but i feel as though it was just sort of engraved into my head. i feel like i always had to be the best and top of the class and it just made me incredibly depressed. i was super suicidal (which maybe everyone was back then), but i still continued doing it because i felt so unworthy without it. i grew up with a twin who was vastly different and didn’t grow up with the same pressure, and i notice it ALL the fucking time and how it sort of crafted the people we became and just how betrayed i feel by everybody who kind of fed into this for me and pushed me to continue doing it.
flash forward a little bit, carried the habits on to high school and barely gave myself a moment to breathe because now i had a reputation to keep up with- except this time i needed to pack on more. it wasn’t just school now, it was music, arts, sports…
my grandma started doing poorly and im so fucking upset with myself that toward the end of her life, when she was in the hospital, i was doing fucking homework instead of talking to her and being with her.
flash forward to the fucking HELL my undergrad was, i fucking hated myself and on top of it kept pushing. nothing was sort of enough to fill what i would say was instilled in me, and again had no time to really develop myself as a person- i was so career oriented and just idk an absolute mess because of how much i feel like i put on hold to focus on school.
my dad started doing poorly… i often just ignored his calls because i was so overwhelmed with school to even step out of the black hole i was in and i didnt want any distractions- i remember he called once while i was studying (i had no idea he wasn’t doing well) and we talked about calculus and he was just trying so hard to relate to me and find something to talk about and i just wrote it off and remember wanting to hurry up the conversation so i could get back to preparing for an exam and that KILLS me and i hope he didnt notice or that he at least understood. about a week later, he called again and i didnt respond because i was so busy with everything going on and he left a voicemail. i listened to the voicemail later that night and it wasnt really any words, kind of like he forgot to hang up the phone. my dad had a bit of a drinking problem and i hate that UGH idk i never said anything about it or like talked to him more. anyway, a couple days go by and im at the library studying for a really important exam and my mom calls- i dont answer- she texts me that it’s important and i have the BIGGEST pit in my stomach at this point. i finally answer and she tells me that my dad is in the hospital and they dont think hes going to make it. i remember literally every detail of who was around me and their reaction to me just bursting into tears and rushing out of the library. like it fucking absolutely broke me and i never got to speak to him again and have this voicemail with no words.
i just feel like school has been such a negative experience for me and i hate who i was and who i am with it. i hate pieces of my life it took away from me and inspired me not to have. i took a WEEK off of school and one of my professors still made me submit homework- and i did it. WHY DID I JUST WASTE SO MUCH TIME DOING THINGS THAT DONT FUCKING MATTER. idk im just so upset with how i balanced my life and i really didnt know any other way- it was how i grew up and how the pressure was distributed.
anyway, here i am in a graduate program because i dont know how the fuck to stop and am at a point where im waiting for this all to be worth it- maybe i land a really good job that makes me feel like the sacrifice was worth it, maybe i could buy my mom a house or shoot for financial freedom. i am so unbelievably tired and still so goddamn unhappy, but dont do anything about it and feel so stuck and caught up in the current. have been and will be and i honestly feel like im never going to be happy or just forgive myself. i feel like i fucked up so terribly and theres so much more to it and all of it is meaningless to me.
anyway, i just really needed to vent and am just really hurt

Okay, I posted here before about a similar topic. Gonna make this post shorter. Hopefully I can grind out the important details so you don't have to read a book. So here goes.
I was looking to upgrade my pc. Current specs.
GPU: RX 580 4gb
CPU: Intel i5-8400
RAM: 16gb DDR4 2666mhz
Mobo: Bazooka B360m
650-750watt psu. Thermaltake brand. I give a range for the PSU because I keep forgetting the exact.
But it does have enough power. I did check.
What happened: Decided to get 3060 ventus 12gb. It's a good upgrade for me, got a smoking deal Imo, and compatible with my system.
Went through the basic driver removal process for AMD using that program I forgot the name of + safe mode stuff.
Plug it in, all works amazing. Update everything. And still, working amazing. Pc never felt so smooth.
Day goes by I'd decide "hell yeah I can play CP2077 now." I load it up, runs fine. Play with settings, still fine. Just gauging what my system can handle smoothly.
Finay I crank it up to one of the last presets before max. Game froze, pc screen went black. GPU dies. GPU did not work after this again despite many trouble shooting STEPS.
Finally, I RMA'd it. MSI has been treating me wonderfully and my card is on the way back now. May be important to know my old GPU worked plug and play while my 3060 is with MSI.
((if curious about how it stopped working, I'd load up pc, windows login would show up, then after 5-10 mins of use it'd black screen practically indefinitely. Later tests would just have nothing show up AT ALL))
So what can I do this time? I'm tempted to just not touch the card until I have all my other parts. But that feels like a waste, I'd love to utilize the power I purchased. But I am scared since idk what happened, I don't want to repeat it. And while MSI has been amazing to me <3, I would like to avoid shipping it then waiting for it back

I’d like to begin this invitation of advice or experiences by stating that what I want in life is a partner who feels like home, will always give me their genuine effort, & will love me through all of the highs, mediums, & lows of life.
I specifically want to know about any advice or things I should consider when it comes to the age gap I have with the man I’m seriously considering making a staple & serious part of my life. I (29f) met (40m) 3 years ago & we have been seeing each other for a little over a year. We met at the public school in which we both work- he’s the social worker, I’m a teacher. When I first saw him, he looked like a meat head (he’s pretty muscular, bald, beard, wears hoodies) & I’ve always been into nerds so it never occurred to me that I’d end up attracted to him. The first year we knew each other, it was very surface level, & then, during the second year of my time at the school, I got to know him better, as I did a few coworkers I now consider close friends. This second year of friendship was also a tough period for me as I was going through a divorce from with a man who wasn’t on the same life path as me & kind of made me dislike myself just for being me (wanting kids, needing to be intrinsically motivated in my career rather than financially motivated)- basically he was type A & I am B. I was absolutely enamored with him in my twenties & was crushed that it didn’t work- I spent a lot of time trying to change myself to accommodate his desires.
Anyhow, as I was processing my divorce & creating friendships, I got to know M(40) better both at work & at hang outs with friends outside of work. I watched how the kids at school just flocked to him & how kind he was with everybody. He coached the basketball team, did an after school program with the SRO to help at risk kids, & often stepped in to help others with tasks that weren’t related to his job as social worker. & he always did it with a positive attitude & good sense of humor. People just LIKE him, you know? It became obvious that he was just a really good person. One day, we had a discussion about kids & how we both wanted them. He told me I’d be a great mother because of how I treat the students & I told him he’d also be a wonderful parent. & he cast his spell on me & I slowly started falling for him. I couldn’t quite figure it out. Here I was, recently divorced from a relationship that had a tremendous affect on me mentally/emotionally, & I was gaining feelings for a man who was very different from my ex, & 11 years older than me. Was I just looking for a distraction? Was I using him to boost my confidence up after it had spent so much time at all time low? Or was I simply recognizing that this man had all of the features that I’d been missing in my past relationship & maybe I should pay attention to that? I was worried that my judgement post- divorce couldn’t possibly be clear, so I expressed that I had feelings for him but had to take things very slow. I was a bit of a mess as I tried to take the initial steps to get closer to him. I’d get emotional & have somewhat of a panic attack, or I’d go through some wishy washy phases when it came to wanting to see him in general. No matter what it was, he said that he understood, he wasn’t going anywhere, & that he just wanted me to be ok. He’d always ask what he could do to help & what I needed from him to feel better. If we were kissing & he felt that I wasn’t comfortable, he’d stop. One time he could tell that I wasn’t feeling great & he cried because he thought he’d made me feel bad. Needless to say, he was always there for me & ACTUALLY cared about how I felt. As we got closer, he was always respectful, would leave me flowers on random or special occasions (like when I was in an art show that he attended, or the first day of a new semester at work), wanted to make things like holidays memorable for me (one time I specifically thought was sweet was when he decorated my place with a Christmas tree & lights because “it’s your first Christmas in your new apartment, it should be festive!”). I consistently got solid evidence that he was emotionally mature, ready for a relationship, & wanted the same things as me.
So, I thought, “why is this sweet, courteous, kind, responsible, funny man single?” I’d heard some woman at work “pick” at him about this & say “I just don’t get how you’re single!” & I honestly wondered myself. You always heard that it’s a ref flag if a man dates a woman over 10 years younger & that it’s because “women his age didn’t want him”. Well, there are a few rational explanations I could think of: 1. He’d been sexually abused by his stepsister for years as a child. He’d told me that he’d had a few relationships during his 20s & 30s, but they didn’t last long & he’d had some issues with women not dealing with his anxiety around sex well. With me, this was not an issue, really. We’d taken the physical really slow, & when one of us felt anxiety as things heated up, the other stopped & supported. After a few months, it became a non-issue & we were able to have great sex with no fear that one of us would get anxious. I think us being so patient & supportive in those initial tough moments & making it clear that we were just as happy to show non-sexual affection helped bond us a ton. 2. When he was younger (childhood-20s) he was overweight. He began balding in his 20s & so he shaved his head. Maybe there weren’t a lot of women who wanted to be with the overweight, bald guy? Women can be just as shallow as men.
So, I began to try to look for any signs that maybe this man is “grooming” me or something. I looked for issues as well as green lights. How’s his family? His brother is happily married with children & he is close with his family, seeing them weekly. What are his friends like? I enjoy his friends. They’re nice, fun people & his best friends are in happy marriages. Does he manipulate you? No, he treats me like a princess (I’m not used to it) & tries to establish healthy relationship patterns (he always insists on a weekly date night, suggests activities together, such as me weight lifting with him & him running with me). He also hypes me up like no other- If I’m wearing a risky outfit that I love but know my mom would insult, BAM he is the first one to compliment it as his jaw drops to the floor. Always telling me how strong, sweet, & cool I am. Made me take his gloves when we went on a snowy hike & I’d forgotten mine. Just basically an endless stream of courtesy. Sometimes I worry if he’s just being really sweet to me because he wants to keep me- he’s said he’s trying to be less of a “people pleaser”- but he has always been consistently kind to me in a genuine manner.
I have gotten a lot of evidence that this is a solid person with whom I could build a beautiful relationship & family with. Everything he’s shown me has been positive as far as communication, morals, empathy, kindness & life plans is concerned.
So… is the 11 year age gap a concern? Should I be more paranoid about why he is still single, or are my theories valid? Although he goes to the gym daily & is like a kid at heart, should I worry about his age when it comes to us potentially raising kids? He’d likely be 43-45 by the time I was ready for that.
If anyone has any experience with being the victim of or being a partner to the victim of someone who went through sexual abuse as a child, please give any thoughts of how that might have affected someone when it comes to dating.
If you have any thoughts, please let me know. Truthfully, I do have other potential options if I pursued them & I’m not afraid of being alone, but I’m feeling that I’d like to commit to a relationship.