⚖️CODE OF ETHICS⚖️
✨TESTIMONIALS✨
📚 My Tarot Spread Library! 📚
⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥
🌟 WHAT TO EXPECT FROM ME: 🌟
Hey! My name is Sereya and I’m an intuitive Tarot/Oracle reader with 4 years of experience. My readings will not only offer you insights, but also practical wisdom and advice that you can use in your day to day life. Even my yes or no and 1 card readings come with a bonus oracle card for advice.
In my readings I will walk you through each card, giving you the breakdown of what I’m seeing. I don’t sugar coat the messages I receive, but I do always make sure to deliver them with empathy. My goal is to always have you leave my sessions with greater clarity.
⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥
If you’re interested in a reading with me:
Message me to get started or comment below! 📬
I look forward to connecting with you. 💜
⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥
DISCLAIMER: I answer most questions so long as they’re not legal or health/medical/pregnancy related.

The Context:

Andrew Rea is a cook, YouTuber, and author better known as Babish, famous for his cooking series Binging with Babish.
Recently, it was announced that Babish will be introducing a paywall for some new content. In addition, old websites with previously-free content were shuttered.
Babish has also come under fire for his sponsorships, with particular criticism over his promotion of the video game Hogwarts Legacy, considering the recent controversial statements from the series’ author JK Rowling.
Our drama starts as Babish himself takes to the sub to issue an apology for the rollout of the changes, attempting to justify and lay out the reasoning behind them.
While many are receptive to his explanation and find it sincere, others are not so ready to accept…

The Drama:

One user defends the criticism:

TL;DR: you're getting a lot of criticsm for your shitty business decisions, so you're playing the mental health card to turn down the heat.
Look, I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch, and I'm sorry you've gone through the things you have. But forgive me if I find it hard to shed a tear for you.
You can't expect a huge outpouring of sympathy for your mental health, and then turn around and push Betterhelp and a crypto gambling game. Those are both products that prey on your audience's mental well-being. So we're supposed to care about your mental health but you don't give a fuck about ours? Explain that one to me. As for the paywall, I don't care that much, but it's shitty that you didn't tell people it was going up beforehand.

I’m not emotionally equipped to be a public figure.

Should have thought of that before making your face the logo of your company.

Do you enjoy being an awful person?
His struggles are fairly well documented, personally, well before any of this happened
Just take 12 seconds and consider maybe this was an oversight?
It’s not like he’s fucking Brad Pitt with a team of 87 managers and PR folks. I’m sure he’s got a manager, but do you really think he’s got the same pull as an a-list actor to catch every small failure?
He’s a fucking YouTuber - a great one, in my opinion, but a YouTuber nonetheless. Humans make mistakes when they don’t have 36 people checking every ounce of their work.
Give him a little grace and maybe give everyone in your life a little. It’s not all a conspiracy, sometimes people just fuck up.

Do you enjoy not reading my comment? Yes, his mental health struggles are well documented. That's why I acknowledged them.
I'm not talking about the paywall. I'm talking about how he wants everyone to care about his mental health, but has said absolutely nothing in regards to the shitty predatory sponsors. And I'm not talking about his shitty "sorry you feel that way" post on YouTube and taking the video down. He can't just say "sorry, mental health" while ignoring the harm he's helped cause by not being selective about who he takes money from.

Oh fuck off you miserable nerd, if you don’t like how he makes money, you don’t have to participate or consume the content.
If you’re going to keep being salty about this despite an apology and a way to access the old websites then I suggest you look inward.

Read my comment again, I'm not angry about the paywall.

Sure.

Read my fucking comment again, asswipe.

[Continued:]

Did you change it?
If not, I'll pass on reading your angry rantings again. Theu weren't worth the first read through.

No, I didn't. Because I already said it's not about the paywall, dipshit.

Theu weren't worth the first read through.

Still worth it enough for you to respond and be an asshole though, I guess.
Edit: get blocked, douche.

Paywall paywall paywall.
You are obsessed.

I feel so sorry for you content creator dick riders lol

[…]

You’re acting like he owes you something. He doesn’t. We live in a different world now where companies are just faceless businesses anymore, and a lot of the things we consume are the product of single people or small teams. As a result, individual proclivities and issues are part of the new normal. If you have an issue with it; unsubscribe.

Yeah, he owes ot to us not hawk predatory sponsors and then expect everyone to give him a hug when he has mental health issues. But fuck me, I guess. Maybe I should make a post about how I've been struggling with depression my entire life so this sub can forgive me for daring to not give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek for it.

live in a different world now where companies are just faceless businesses anymore

It's a real shame he built his company off of his character and used his own face as its logo.

If you have an issue with it; unsubscribe.

Believe me, I will. I guess I thought when he finally apologized for his shitty business practices that he'd actually apologize, instead of ignoring the sponsorship stuff all together. I thought he was better than this.

Others stand to defend Babish:

Great job folks. You bullied this nice dude who has given you hundreds of hours of free labor.

If were being real he saw the post on mildly infuriating and made a whole ass response, which is insecure as fuck .
Also this is a post where hes admitting hes at fault and yall are telling him “no” which is funny as shit.

It’s “insecure as fuck” to address widespread criticism openly and honestly?

one guy saying bad things about you shouldn’t make you wanna write out a giant reddit post defending yourself yeah.
Who needs to be liked THAT much?

Not one guy, it was widespread backlash on multiple subreddits and from like all his fans. It would have been ridiculous not to respond

Criticism over shitty business practices (shilling products designed to prey on the mental wellbeing of your audience and introducing paywalls with no notice) isn't the same as bullying.

I mean grow up. You have no right to his labor. None at all. Notice? What is this, you're upset about his terms of service? Lol.

Babish isn't gonna fuck you, bro.

"I have no point but I have a funny"

[Continued:]

What point could I make that wasn't already addressed in my response to this parasocial weiner?
Babish made some shitty business decisions, people criticized them. That's not bullying. When people complain about McDonald's discontinuing a menue item, you never see people say "stop bullying the CEO :(". So why is it suddenly bullying when criticism is directed at a YouTuber for their shitty business practices? Yes, Andrew is a person. But that doesn't mean he's immune to complaints just because some parasocial crybaby thinks telling a person to do better constitutes "bullying".

Except if you read the comments on some of the posts people absolutely went well beyond criticism of the business decision to personal insults and vitriol that could indeed accurately be described as “bullying”.

Fair enough, but they made a general comment about how this sub bullied him, not just a few shitheels who took it too far.
cool but that wasn't what the person you told to "grow up" was doing, so why don't you stop huffing your own farts for a minute

I didn’t tell anyone anything? What are you talking about?

whoops, thought you were the OP in this thread, not just a random interjection like me. I'm cutting down on caffeine and it is not making me smarter

[…]

he isn't doing it for "free" mate, he's running a for-profit business. yes bullying is wrong, but people complain about businesses all the time.
Free labour, minus his YouTube revenue, sponsorship revenue, merch revenue...
There's wanting to encourage civility, but let's not jerk each other off here.
Or let's. I mean. It's a Saturday night and I'm alone. I'm open to talk.
Grow some balls lol

The knives are out:

Dude you've been up your own ass for years. When you first started blowing up and dragging your videos out - I nicely suggested you stop adding 5 minutes to the beginning of every video showing us how to make bread. I told you having a separate "Bread with Babish" and telling viewers to reference that would be better. You basically said I was stupider than frog excrement and shouldn't think. Like what? Then a few months later Basics with Babish comes out. Go fuck yourself.

Bro has main character syndrome, thinking Babish personally spites him and only him.
In the nicest possible way, touch grass. Maybe even read your comment out loud and you might realise how ridiculous you sound.
You’ve been carrying this grudge for what, eight years? Touch some grass.

"touch grass" is so overused and trite it makes me want to tear off my dick

Another brings up Babish’s Hogwarts Legacy sponsorship:

Can we get an update on promoting the transphobic wizard game, and apparently deleting comments mentioning trans people on the video?

Imagine what a sad life you live if you’re that triggered by a video game. Literally don’t play it. Why do you care if others play it?

Because buying the game is basically saying "This mid wizards game is more important to me than human rights, fuck gay people, fuck trans people, kill em all, i dont give a shit lmao".

Seek help.

You should seek help if you dontate your money to making the lives of others worse intentionally and give 0 fucks about it.

[Continued:]

You are what is wrong with society. Again, it is advisable that you the seek the psychiatric help that you require. (By the way, it’s a great game).

Glad to know im whats wrong with society and not the scumbags who gave money to anti trans charities. Just know while you're playing it that trans people are living worse lives because of you.

The lil smart phone that ur using right now that relies on cobalt, which was mined by little kids like those in the DRC without protective gear so your phone could have a battery. Just know while you’re sitting here being a keyboard warrior that thousands, if not millions, of little kids’ lives are getting worse because of you.

a.) Im not on a phone and do not own a phone.
b.) Theres a difference because you NEED a computer of some sort to function well these days. You do not need the wizard game.
c.) Theres a difference between supporting a company like that where they try to hide it and keep it from the public and openly supporting someone who basically just comes out and says "Yo btw if you buy my game ill use the money to kill trans people, thanks"

[…]

Imagine being privileged enough for someone enjoying/promoting a Harry Potter game to be what gets ur panties in a twist. I get Rowling is a shit show, but be fucking for real 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m sure your phone is a product of child slave labor and I’m sure you buy a lot of shit that promotes even more terrible things. Get off your high horse and stop crying over first world problems.

Im sorry its considered being on a high horse for wishing people didnt support a disgusting fucking transphobic monster thats hurting fuckloads of people. Its not even like other companies where its semi hidden and you have to look for it, she's blatantly and publicly a transphobic scumbag piece of human garbage. If you don't know any better, sure, but when people are buying the game with the specific intent to support transphobia or don't care that they're giving their money to someone who who's publicly transphobic and openly supports bigots and the hurting of people, you're transphobic and probably terrible.

People like you don’t actually help anything. All you do is piss off ordinary people and make them less likely to care about the trans community. You’re just bitter and you feel better about accomplishing nothing when you sling garbage comments at people. Grow up and do something that actually helps the community. Spewing vitriol and calling people transphobic is not helping.

Someone is transphobic Gets called transphobic Surprised Pikachu face
So you want me to stop calling transphobic people transphobic?
Id rather not help at all than actively hurt the community, ruin people's lives, and fund charities that fight to give people less rights. At least I fight for human decency and people's rights and don't donate to this shit.

I’ll rephrase. YOU ARE ACTIVELY HURTING THE COMMUNITY BY MAKING PEOPLE LESS LIKELY TO SUPPORT. Seriously, stop it. You’re not helping, you’re hurting. You’re not the face of the community, you’re just shouting in the comments at people who just want to watch a guys YouTube channel about food.
”He supports JK Rowling.” No he doesn’t. The game is a game. Cry all you want about what she said, the rest of the community has been ignoring her for years.
“She donates against trans acceptance”. Yes, and she would anyway even if the game didn’t get made. She was already rich after the books, it’s a pointless argument based solely on your principles and not on doing any good.
You keep calling people transphobic, but they are not. Buying a video game is not transphobic. You’re delusional and childish. This conversation is over, leave these people alone and spend time figuring your own shit out.

[Continued:]

I dont know in what universe giving more money to be donated to anti LGBT stuff is not transphobic. "Yeah i give money to charities that murder children but i dont support child murder". Sounds insane right? Thats what you're saying. That just because you're giving money to support making trans people's lives worse that you're not transphobic. You're being insane. "She'd support it anyways so who cares!" is the most insane argument i have ever read in my life holy shit. xD

Hopeless and stupid. You may as well go vote for Trump, you’ll fit right in. Honestly at this point I think you’re paid to make the trans community look bad, it makes more sense than whatever other insanity you want to keep blathering. I’m just gonna block you, like every other rational person.
You gave money to the company that made your smart phone and therefor you support child labor since the whole phone, or at least pieces of it, were made from child labor. You’re a disgusting human being….you see how fucking delusional you sound, bro?

One user taps out:

I’m glad you addressed it, but I had to leave. Best of luck to your future endeavors and I hope lessons were learned.

And yet, here you are
This isn’t the airport. You don’t have to announce your departure.

what an original comment, you are so smart and funny and original for having made such a thought provoking post. I hope you print this comment out and frame it so that your children will learn to appreciate what an original thinker their parent is. are you the person who invented "touch grass" as well? big fan of your work

lol I can only imagine how sad your life is that this is how you spend your time

if you think it is sad that I am here on reddit, doing reading and commenting, I have some terrible , alarming news for you.

[Continued:]

lol yea that’s definitely what I meant 😂

One user still has issues, despite the apology:

Any amount of warning that you were planning to paywall the site would have made it a lot more palatable of a change. Doing it without telling people felt shady at best and deceptive at worst.

Yeah, and this is an acknowledgment and an apology. Seems a little cruel to keep dragging him at this point.

I guess it starts with a halfhearted apology. There’s no explanation for why it was sprung without notice.
It’s “yeah whatever guess I should’ve told y’all but here’s some more stuff coming up that you can pay me for”

here's some more stuff coming up that you can pay me for

Ah, so you're one of those people who feels entitled to infinite free content from creators.

It’s weird to me how many people think YouTube content is free. YOU are the product. Free means no monetary exchanges. Do you think Andrew makes no money from YouTube? Do you think YouTube makes no money from you? His videos are not free.

[Continued:]

Wow you are REALLY fucking dumb huh?

No but apparently you are. How does Babish not get paid from YouTube? Is every video he posts “free labor”?

[…]

No I just don’t think this should be portrayed as an apology when it’s really just an advertisement

Maybe he can post again so you can still be mad for some fucking reason

A slapfight breaks out:

I’m sure you have good connections but if you want some fresh eyes on your script, id be down to give some coverage. Why am I being downvoted so heavily? As an aspiring writer myself, I know how hard it is to get feedback on a project. I’m a fan and offering my time and energy. I don’t get what the problem is. lol wtf is this sub? Comments insulting people getting upvotes in a thread about how negative comments have affected someone is wild work. Fuck me for being interested in Andrew as a writer.

Same vibes as the dude who asked Elon to run Tesla who was a nobody
get outta here man lol
Because you’re a nobody lmao

Holy shit, just read through your comments and god damn are you miserable hahah.

meanwhile you're scouring the profiles of people who upset you, looking for mud to sling

Someone calls me a nobody, I gotta go see what mighty status they got in the world to be shitting on others lol.
He literally thinks babish is gonna choose him or something but instead he attacks me 💀

[Continued:]

Looooool you’re gonna play victim??? Aint no fucking way lol. You insult and disrespectfully gatekeep and now you’re the one talking about being attacked hahahahahaha fuck all the way off with that nonsense.

The Flairs:

• “parasocial weiner”
  
• “why don't you stop huffing your own farts for a minute”
  
• “It's a Saturday night and I'm alone. I'm open to talk.”
  
• “Babish isn’t gonna suck you off lil bro”
  

I changed my password for my Chase login on the 3rd of June. While trying to re-login, the app kept telling me I temporarily couldn’t be logged in while the web browser site kept sending me to the verification code page where I’d get the automated call from Chase and enter the code where it would then take me back to the login page to start over.
I let it go for a bit until today when I tried to log into the app again and got the same message. This time, when I tried online, I received a message saying I need to call as my account has been locked.
I called and discovered my account has been locked as a fraud prevention measure and it will take 2-3 business days for it to be reviewed by a “specialist team.” My cards are still active and working but I have no access to online banking. It’s been a week since my account was locked and they told me to try calling back on Monday.
Has anyone had this happen? Is it easy to resolve? I didn’t call earlier as the app just said I couldn’t be logged in at the moment so I thought there may have been some technical error but it went almost a full week without hearing anything from Chase. How will I regain access?

Post One: My day started innocently enough, a typical Tuesday. My boss asked me to create a business strategy for our new product launch. As I started brainstorming, I remembered a topic I learned in college, game theory. I decided to apply it to the problem.
Game theory basically analyses how individuals or groups make decisions to maximize their benefits. So, I designed two strategies, one aggressive and one conservative, imagining our competitors' possible responses to each. I tried to foresee their moves and countermoves, anticipating how they might attempt to outmaneuver us.
Would they respond to our aggressive strategy with an aggressive strategy of their own or would they hang back? How would we respond in turn? Thinking about these scenarios helped me form a nuanced strategy that was prepared for any eventuality, rather than just charging ahead blindly.
My boss loved the strategy and even asked me to explain game theory to the rest of the team. It certainly shook up the typical Tuesday!
P.S. Just between us, the above tale wasn't exactly real. I mean, I wish my Tuesdays were that exciting! But hey, isn't it a great way to illustrate how you can use mental models like game theory in your daily life? Life isn't a game, but it doesn't hurt to have a strategy!
Post Two: I found myself in a traffic jam yesterday. As I sat there, going nowhere, I began to muse about the nature of traffic itself. I mean, it's essentially a system where each individual's actions affect the whole, right? It made me think about game theory.
I started imagining how traffic could flow differently if everyone decided to choose the 'cooperative strategy'. What if everyone followed the rules perfectly, never tailgated, never tried to squeeze into a narrow gap or honk incessantly?
According to game theory, with everyone cooperating, the system should work much more efficiently. But alas, that's not how real-world traffic works. There are too many 'defectors', people who think they can gain an advantage by breaking the rules.
P.S. Just so you know, this traffic jam tale is pure fiction! I mean, who uses game theory to think about traffic, right? Well, except for nerdy people like me. But wouldn't it be cool if we could apply game theory to everyday situations? It might just make the world run a little smoother!
Post Three: As I sat at a poker table last night, trying to decide whether to fold or raise, I found myself strangely thankful for...game theory.
Game theory, you see, is all about strategic interactions, making decisions based on the predicted or possible decisions of others. And that's pretty much poker in a nutshell, isn't it?
So instead of just focusing on my cards, I started thinking about the other players – their betting patterns, their reactions, their tells. It was like a mental chess match, trying to predict their moves while keeping my own strategy flexible.
Thanks to game theory, I ended up having a pretty successful night at the poker table!
P.S. Confession time: I didn't actually win a poker game last night using game theory. It's just an entertaining way to show how mental models like game theory can apply to everyday situations. Life might not be a poker game, but a little strategic thinking never hurt anyone!

My practice has really pissed me off after they talked to me about pay. I just got my LSW and I live in the midwest. They've started making changes in how the practice is run as soon as I arrived a couple months ago.
We used to get paid a 50/50 split as LSWs but we were 1099 so we'd have to put money away for taxes. Now they're changing it to $40 per client across the board, even with families and couples. The kicker is this practice requires all therapists to see 35-40 people per week. No insurance. They're starting benefits just now like PTO and 401k but still no insurance.
I asked for 75k when asked my preference. They told me "oh but you will be making $75k yearly with 40 clients a week" and I'm like???? Yeah...by killing myself.
So, now i'm thinking about doing several things: leaving, talking to them about lower pay (not hopeful cause i don't think they'll budge, but i still think i'll give it a try), or again... f-ing leaving. But i'm just nervous and sad about leaving my clients who I have built a relationship with. Plus this place gives me my own office, business cards, it's walkable from my house, and they have the exact population i love.
I'm just so frustrated...any pointers you can give about my next steps would be helpful.

Hi, I'm trying to export large videos from a sd card to my iPhone.
I got this cheap lightning - usb connector from AliExpress. I can see the import option on the gallery app but when I try to import a video, it is suddenly collapse. do you think it is the connector itself that is making this problem? if Ill get a decent one it should be fixed?
anyone here got a cable sd card reader from aliexpress and it is working fine for him? like the ones in the picture
https://preview.redd.it/c0vkcmn91j5d1.png?width=1388&format=png&auto=webp&s=dd09fd1a39b7cbb0e3825de77ad03dc97a752a6a
https://preview.redd.it/jrdgwu1a1j5d1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=8caeb6bb7b72fa4c91da7baaed9687e462072eb6

Hello,
I started a business when I was incredibly young and it very recently started to do exceedingly well and I have started to make quite a bit (I am still very young). I have made some poor financial choices coupled with not making a lot of income and am likely continuing to make some. Hopefully, I have not made a choice too tragic...but I am a little lost on how exactly I should tackle my debt problem. Before anyone becomes too concerned, I am not the only partner in my business, and the business is run very well with multiple talented folks internally and externally ensuring that poor financial decisions are NOT being made in the business.
For context, I have a wife and two young children. I bring in about $300,000.00 in income, and I own a well-insured new-build home that I rent out for $3,600.00/month. I live in another state and rent an apartment for approximately the same amount (it is a HCOL area than the area the home is in). It is unknown at this time if we are going to move back to the home or not or stay here in this state (I mention this only to say that either it will continue to be an expense of roughly $1,800, or it will be a savings since the mortgage is less than the delta of rent income to rent expense). We have one paid-off, well-insured Japanese shitbox that we maintain very well. I have approximately 10k in "operating capital" right now as I took care of the majority of financial my situation already (this looked...far worse). I don't feel tight...I am fine, family doesn't feel it, just not a lot of savings to show yet. I have approximately 12,500.00 in a HYSA that I have been saving 30% of any distributions I have taken from the business for tax purposes so that I don't have a repeat of the below Chase Pay Over Time Plan 2 (which was a 12 month payment plan from my April tax bill -- which, I should have planned better for). As an aside, I have excellent credit (800+), but I have been denied for several consolidation loans, yet am never denied for any credit card I apply for. I am unsure of why, beyond the fact that I am always told that I have far too many inquiries. I do apply for far too many things. I don't want to take a HELOC and I am unsure if I can due to a lien I have from an SBA loan I took for the business (which is almost paid off now).
I am also thinking that since the HYSA is less yield than the interest on the tax bill / Chase Plan 2 (or any of the debts), and I will have this pretty much under control by next year (or less than two tops), I should clear it out. I should use it to pay off the tax bill (or whatever), and worst case, just put the new tax bill on the credit card again next year (since I will have way less debt to work with next year). Isn't that what people do? Don't they just take a "tax distribution" to pay their tax bill anyways? I'm behind the eight ball to do that now, but...something like this.
As a final aside, if anyone is wondering how the hell I have 100k in student loans...private doctoral education. Completely useless for the extremely esoteric business I found myself in.
I don't know if any of this context is necessary but here we go.
Chase Pay Over Time Plan 1: $1,063.78 @ 6.88% (Fixed 11 Pmts Rem.) Chase Pay Over Time Plan 2: $13,852.67 @ 6.87% (Fixed 10 Pmts Rem.) Personal Loan: $17,907.70 @ 6.98% (Fixed 24 Pmts Rem.) Credit Card: $7,159.79 @ 0.99% (Until 2025, Then 21.24%) Student Loan(s): $97,406.88 @ 5.75% Mortgage: $294,963.11 @ 4.0% (House Worth Double) 401(k) Loan: $31,018.01 @ 9.5%
I know that the popular approaches are the Snowball and Avalanche...but I am still struggling to wrap my head around it. I understand it theoretically. However, would I want to leave the 401(k) alone since the interest is payable to myself? It's not like I am actually losing this money. Also, the Credit Card becomes absurd next year. Shouldn't I make DAMN SURE that is paid off this year? Should I pay the Student Loan AT ALL? Should I hold out for some magical government fairy wand of some sort?
I guess, what I am asking y'all, after watching this sub for years (and thinking I'd never be able to even get this far), is how can I OPTIMIZE this.
The best way I can figure it, would be this order.
1.) Credit Card
2.) Chase Plan 1
3.) Chase Plan 2
4.) Personal Loan
5.) Student Loan
6.) 401(k)
7.) Mortgage
What would you do?

PayPal may not require an introduction unless you are living under a rock. If you don't know about PayPal it is an online payment system useful both for sending and receiving payments using just email addresses (easy-to-do). Paypal is accepted as a payment gateway/system in almost every web based shopping system worldwide.
Further £10 for £5 spend in Playstore is available for existing PayPal users as well
Here is how to get your free £10 + £10:
Step 1: Sign up with my Referral link by clicking here
Step 2: Add and link your credit or debit card or bank account to PayPal.
Step 3: Spend or send at least £5 anywhere (other than playstore) where Paypal is accepted as a payment method (Most online website do: Ebay, Amazon and so on.). You can buy a giftcard through Amazon. You can also send £5 to someone you know with their email ID. Make sure to choose personal and not business while sending your payment to someone personally so that no charges are incurred. Enjoy your £20 bonus.
Step 4: This is more suitable for Android phone/tablet users. Spend £5 in the Google playstore. You can use this £5 to buy movies, books, apps or game resources for your GPT tasks. A further £10 will be credited to your account.
Share your referral code to others to get up to £200. Thanks for using my referral code.
Referral link £10 bonus
Non-ref No £10 bonus

Hello reddit readers, I need some advice. Yes, my mom is dating a guy that she groomed. I believe that in love, age doesn’t matter as long as the people involved are adults. In my moms case, its the opposite. My mom (55F) met X (24M) when he was 15 years old. To my understanding, they started to have a thing (my sister caught some text messages between them) while he was a minor. It became a major conflict in our family, causing for me to go no contact with my mom for months. They eventually became a couple and moved in together. Unfortunately, everytime I tried to communicate how wrong the relationship was, I was gaslit to think that it was none of my business.
I have so much love and respect for my mom and the way that she raised me, that it was difficult to cut her off completely from my life. So, as the saying goes, “ignorance is bliss”. Since they live in another country, it was easy to pretend that the relationship did not exist and I continued my mother-daughter relationship. However, as time keeps passing by and I get closer to an age where im considering having a family of my own, it has become so difficult to ignore the fact that my mom is a groomer. It’s so crazy because my mom is emotionally intelligent in other aspects in life, yet doesn’t seem to understand how wrong this relationship is. Or maybe she does but dgaf?
It is such a moral debate because I don’t want to lose my relationship with my mother but also, should I compromise my values and morals? I don’t know what to do. Just by thinking that someday I will have to explain to my future husband that my mom is a groomer simply terrifies me.
I will appreciate some genuine and mature advice. I know my mom is dead wrong but please refrain from insulting her. Thank you in advance!

Below you will find a weekly reminder of our Rules and partial FAQ. It's definitely a long read, but it's worth your time, especially if you are new to the community, or dropping by as a result of a link you found elsewhere. We periodically revise our rules, this weekly notice will help keep you informed of any changes made.
NOTE: These rules are guidelines. Some moderation discretion is to be expected.

Community Rules

1. Kindness Matters

Advise, don't criticize.

• Post with empathy, thoughtfulness, and constructive commentary rather than judgment. Don't be an asshole.
• Name-calling, slurs (including gender or race based slurs), and insults towards other community members will not be tolerated. Do not attack others for their personally held values, custody situation, marital status, physical distance from stepkids, or economic status; or on the basis of race, sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, or ethnicity.
• No name-calling toward children, including the above-mentioned insults or the term "skids", or terms such as "mini-wife" or "mini-husband."
• Comments advocating spanking or any mention of wanting to harm children are not allowed.
• This is a support sub, not a judgement sub, assholes are not tolerated. Comments with terms used in other subs to pass judgement on assholes will be removed.

2. No Drama

This is a support sub.

• Bickering, nitpicking, and thread derailment will not be tolerated and will be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
• Do not repeatedly badger a poster demanding answers, or refuse to acknowledge an answer that's already been given.
• Do not use sensitive issues from past posts (either from this sub or other subs) to attack another user, as we are all discussing vulnerable topics.
• Crossposting anything from /stepparents to any other subreddit might result in a ban and may result in the original thread being locked. Brigading our sub will result in an immediate ban.

3. Report, Don’t Rant

No backseat modding.

• If you see someone breaking the rules, report the post or comment to the mods rather than engaging them in an argument. Failure to do so may be subject to comment removal at moderator discretion.
• No meta posts complaining about rude comments, DMs, or general sub issues.
• If you think someone is a troll or previously banned user, either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.

4. No Naming & Shaming

No userpings or links.

• Tagging/pinging users or other subreddits in an attempt to bully, harass, or complain will not be tolerated. Do not tag other subs, ever.
• If you want to complain about another subreddit being hostile to stepparents, do not name the subreddit. "Other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice.

5. No Platitudes

Nobody knew what they were getting into.

• Comments like "You knew what you were getting into", "Love them, love their kids!", "They're a package deal!" and "You have to love them like your own!" will be removed.
• Comments suggesting that OP is not cut out for stepparenting will be removed at moderator discretion.
• Comments like "This is just a part of parenting, deal with it!" will be removed at moderator discretion.

6. No Trolling

We have zero tolerance for trolls.

• This is a support sub. Our subscribers do not have the time, nor inclination, to provide support to internet trolls. Posts that are suspected to be trolling attempts will be immediately removed, and the poster banned.
• Concern trolling, devil's advocating, gish-galloping, sealioning, and general asshattery are subject to immediate removal and banning without warning or notice.
• Any attempt to circumvent the ban by creating a new username will be reported to reddit admins and possibly result in account suspension.

7. No Personally Identifiable Information

Use discretion when posting.

• We highly recommend using a separate account for support subs to help prevent being doxxed. Do not post any information that may allow others to figure out your identity.
• Do not post photos of children, or any other photo that could be used to identify you or another user on the sub.
• Any image that contains a name or other identifying information should have the name or identifying information blurred out. This includes drawings, notes, and screenshots.
• Do not link to social media or any articles/blogs where you or another user on the sub is mentioned by name.

8. No More than 2 Posts per 24 hours

Use the daily threads.

• We are not a huge sub, but we are no longer a small sub. If you have multiple grievances to air, use the daily discussion threads instead of multiple posts.

9. Follow Reddiquette

Remember the human.

• Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life.
• Read it in full here.
• Downvoting is reserved for comments that don’t contribute, and shouldn't be used to indicate disagreement.
• If you believe someone is in violation of the subreddit rules, please either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.
• Suspected brigading will be reported to reddit admins.

10. No Porn, Spam, Blogs, or Research Studies/Surveys Without Mod Approval

Just don't.

• This is a SFW subreddit. Posting pornography will result in immediate post removal and permanent ban.
• Advertising on the subreddit (outside of Reddit's own advertising) is not allowed.
• No personal blog posts are allowed without express moderator permission.
• No advertising without prior mod approval.
• No asking for money/posting fundraisers/etc.
• For links to parenting research studies or surveys, please message the mods for permission before posting.

11. Disputes in Modmail Only

Don't argue with the mods on the sub.

• Any issues specifically related to how a mod is moderating should be addressed to the full moderating team via mod mail. This ensures that all mods are aware of any concerns and prevents disintegration of the topic thread at hand.
• This means to do not message or send chat requests to individual mods. All discussion and complaints about mod actions need to be done in mod mail ONLY. Failure to follow this rule can result in an immediate permanent ban.
• Comments in threads asking about mod decisions are subject to removal without notice.

12. Moderator Actions

We aren't kidding.

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

13. Ban Procedure

These actions are at moderator discretion.

• Pornography will result in an automatic permanent ban.
• Extremely egregious content will result in an immediate permanent ban.
• You may receive a 7 or 30 day temporary ban for first and second rule violations, depending upon severity.
• Continued rule violations will result in a permanent ban.
• Willful attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban.
• We recognize the reddit site-wide rules of using alt names to get around bans and will ban those as well as report them to reddit admins.

​
​

FAQ - About the Rules

What does Kindness Matters mean?

• Shortest version? Don't be an asshole. People come here for support and advice, they do not come here to be yelled at or told they are the reason everything is going sideways. There are ways to point out that someone may want to do some reflection on their own actions and reactions without being an asshole about it.
• The purpose of this subreddit is to provide support and a sense of belonging for struggling stepparents. We aren't here to pass judgement, but rather to offer support, empathy, and constructive commentary. That does not include "hard truths" or "tough love." Stepparents get enough of that in every other subreddit, we're not passing it out here. Be respectful.
• Remember, most people aren't going to come to a sub like this when everything is going great and everyone is getting along. People are coming here when they are down, when they are feeling defeated and stretched to the limit. Kicking someone when they are down is shitty behavior and we don't tolerate it.

What about being kind to the kids?

• "Won't somebody think of the children?" Pearl clutching isn't needed here. If you read the Kindness Matters rule closely, you will see that there is a clause in there about name calling children. We don't allow it. We also don't allow people rolling in telling OP that they feel sorry for their stepkids because OP is feeling overwhelmed and overloaded.
• If anyone is advocating slapping, spanking, or any other form of violence, report the comment immediately. We do not advocate violence towards children of any sort. The mod team does not advocate any sort of physical punishment at any time.
• Venting about behaviors is not the same as insulting the kids. However, if you see a post or comment where kids are being name called or dragged to the point of no return, use the report button. We try to catch the posts and remove them before they hit the sub, but we cannot see every comment without your help. Use the report button to bring problematic comments to our attention. Don't engage in a war of words on our subreddit.

Why is this sub such an echo chamber?

• Not allowing contributors to pile on and tell OP that they are a terrible human being who should never be around children does not equate to being an echo chamber. Many contributors here will offer OP suggestions to help them work through their resentments and frustrations, and the most egregious situations are called out. We simply ask that it be called out with respect.
• If you feel that a post is simply too much for you to handle without following the rules, move on to another post.
• If you believe that a post itself is crossing the rules report it. If the mod team has approved the post, it is because the mod team believes that the OP needs help from the community or needs a moment to vent and move on from their vent. That does not give you license to pile on disrespectfully. Unless it is proven that OP is a bot, assume that OP is a human being with real thoughts and feelings and has posted from a place of vulnerability.

Why can't I tell OP that they are an asshole?

• Because this isn't a judgement sub. We aren't AITA, we don't want to be AITA.
• Comments with terms like YTA, NTA, ESH, NAH will be removed.
• Don't start your posts with INFO either. We generally recognize that as a fishing attempt for more information to pass judgement on OP, and again, we are not a judgment sub.

But OP asked if they were an asshole?!

• Their post somehow got past our automoderator. Just use the report button. We will address it with OP.
• If you've asked if you are an asshole, a-hole, a*hole, a**hole, whatever, don't be surprised if your post is removed without warning. This isn't a judgment sub. If you want judgment, you know where to go.

What is a gendered slur?

• While it seems that everyone understands what racist slurs are, people struggle understanding the concept of gendered slurs. Generally speaking, we are talking about derogatory nouns or verbs that are used to negatively describe people or situations based on gendered terms.
• We've gone back and forth on this a few times, and the truth is, we get it, it's your safe space and you want to be able to vent about BM/BD how you want to vent about them, without us telling you how to vent about them. Fair enough. Vent away. What we are going to stick to here how people are referring to other users and to stepchildren.
• Examples that are not allowed:
  • "My SD is such a little bitch."
  • "She dresses/acts like a slut."
  • "My SS acts like a pussy."
  • "My SS is such a beta male."
  • "You are all fucking whores."
  • "Any dude who is raising some sluts kids is a cuck!"
  • "Little Lord Fauntleroy over here thinking he runs the house!"
  • "You're just the bangnanny, get used to it."
• Don't call users here names, don't call stepchildren names.
• Masking the term with asterisks or other neat little tricks might get you around the bot, but if we see it, we're removing it and quite possibly giving you a time out. The intended word is still there and you deliberately tried to skate the rule.
• As there is not enough space to list every term that is offensive and does not belong, nor every situation in which term or phrase may be allowable in context, this rule is enforced based on moderator discretion.

Seriously? You are the language police now?

• We're here to talk about stepparenting. And we would like for that to happen in a respectful way. Attacking each other doesn't help. Belittling stepchildren draws in trolls who don't understand your frustration, all they see is an evil stepmonster talking shit on the internet about a poor, innocent baby. Yes, even if that "poor, innocent baby" just robbed you blind and set fire to the house on their way out the door. That's just how it goes.
• We are aware that this is a relatively new rule and a lot of older posts and comments contain a lot of problematic language, including some from mods themselves. We are growing and evolving, and rules change as the sub grows and evolves.

What does No Drama really mean?

• Pretty much what it says, do not bring drama from other subs into this sub. Do not engage in vote brigades. Do not try to incite other subscribers to riot in a different sub. Don't follow posters into this sub from other subs to continue to harass them. Do not badger someone or derail threads. Do not harass community members because you don't agree with them. There's enough drama in the daily lives of subscribers, more isn't needed.

What is thread derailment?

• When a comment chain has devolved to the point where all you are doing is arguing back and forth with someone about the same thing over and over again, you have derailed the thread. Also known as bickering. It's what children do. We assume if people are in a stepparent role they are adults. We expect you to act like it.
• If you aren't a stepparent, or in a stepparenting role, consider that perhaps this subreddit isn't for you. If you want to participate, do so with respect. Thread derailment, arguing, bickering, and nitpicking are not allowed.

But what if they didn't answer my question?

• No one has to answer your questions. This is a support sub, not an inquisition. Jumping on a bandwagon with "OP is evading the question" in a 20 comment long chain is the epitome of thread derailment. You'll find more information about trolling below and how this might be considered such.

Why am I being silenced? I'm just asking for a back and forth!

• Thread derailment, badgering, and nitpicking are considered harassment. Continued harassment of either community members or mods will get you banned.

Why can't I look at someone's post history and comment about it?

• No mod in the history of this sub has ever once said post histories are forbidden. What we do frown upon is using someone's post history to attack, belittle, or otherwise harass someone.
• Example Post: "My stepkid's mom really hates me. How can I make this better?"
  • Okay: "Based on the timeline and your post history, it looks like this may have started as an affair. Unfortunately there's going to be outstanding issues for a long time due to that. Try focusing on yourself and how you can move forward without worrying about how someone else feels about you."
  • Not Okay: "Holy shit! You were the OW! What the hell do you expect, homewrecker?!"
• Example Post: "I am completely overloaded and feeling very down about myself."
  • Okay: "In your post history you mentioned that your spouse wasn't really helping around the house. Has that changed at all?"
  • Not Okay: "LOL, you already got the answers you need in your post on relationships. You are stupid for sticking with your lazy spouse."

Why can't we crosspost stuff to other subs?

• We can't stop you from doing so. The problem isn't that something has been crossposted, it's when the community that it's been crossposted to feels the need to come over here and harass OP. When we see that happening, we lock the post and start passing out bans. If you did the crossposting, you'll be banned. If you participated in the brigading, you'll be banned.

What if it's my own post?

• Again, we can't stop you from doing so. We prefer that you don't technically crosspost, but rather just copy and paste your post. Why? Because inevitably the above will happen. Redditors from other subs will follow you back to /stepparents and start attacking users here. It just happens.

What is "brigading"?

• Reddit defines vote manipulation and brigading as follows:
• Using multiple accounts, voting services, or any other software to increase or decrease vote scores.
• Asking people to vote up or down certain posts, either on Reddit itself or through social networks, messaging, etc. for personal gain.
• Forming or joining a group that votes together, either on a specific post, a user's posts, posts from a domain, etc.
• We, along with pretty much every other subreddit that has ever had to deal with this nonsense, further define brigading as this: You saw a post on another sub that linked to our sub either via a link in a comment or a crosspost. It was basically saying something along the lines of "OMG, check out these assholes over on /stepparents! They literally hate all their stepkids!" And then you and your friends come over and start hammering on OP and telling OP how much they suck. Congrats, you have just participated in a brigade.

What is this whole Report, Don't Rant thing about?

• If you see a post or comment that breaks the rules, instead of engaging, report it. When you report it, it sends notification to the mod team. We will act on it where appropriate. Engaging with bad faith users may result in your comments being removed. If you repeatedly do so, you may end up being banned.

What if I see an obvious troll?

• Report it.

What if they are being really mean in comments?

• Report it.

What if they are harassing me in private messages?

• Step 1: Report them to admins. You can report harassment to reddit by using this link or send a DM to reddit admins. Include the link to the DM, admins can see your inbox and providing a direct link is helpful for them to weed out bad actors.
• Step 2: Block the person so they cannot directly contact you again.
• Step 3: Send us a mod mail and let the mod team know. Tell us who they are and what they said, send us a screenshot if you can - admins can see your DMs, mods can't. We'll take action where necessary by banning from the sub if they aren't already banned.

What do you mean by No Naming & Shaming?

• Just as we prefer to not be linked to or crossposted from, we do not allow linking to or calling out other subs by name. If you see something you want to share, say it's a hot post that has hit the front page and a stepparent is being absolutely flayed, just refer to it as "that hot post that hit the front page." If you want to complain about other places in general, "other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice. Absolutely under no circumstances should you link to anywhere else.

I can't link to other subs?

• Do not directly link to another sub. (e.g.: "/insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not name other subs. (e.g.: "I won't link to it directly, but insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not abbreviate other subs. (e.g.: "I know that ISNH is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")

I can't ping other users?

• Do not summon another user with a username ping/tag. (e.g.: "insertusernamehere was being an asshole.")
• If you are agreeing with someone, it is okay to link to them. (e.g.: "I agree with insertusernamehere, you need to take a couple of steps back and reflect on this.")

What does No Platitudes mean?

• Sanctimonious, overused clichés that grossly oversimplify the stepparenting experience are neither wanted nor allowed here. We have all heard it a thousand times before, we don't need to hear it again. It's not nearly as insightful and wise as some would like to think.

Why don't you people understand it's a package deal?

• Any comment that suggests that OP should have known what they were getting involved with, or that they needed to understand that the kids were part of some package they needed to accept before signing up for marriage is subject to immediate removal.
• This is one of the most insensitive things you can say to a stepparent. Most stepparents were aware of the children, but they were probably not aware of all of the family dynamics.

Why can't you just love them like they are your own?

• Demanding that a stranger you do not know love children that are not biologically theirs as if they were theirs can be incredibly damaging to someone who is already in a vulnerable situation. Any comment that falls along these lines will be removed.

What do you mean by No Trolling? I was just...

• No means no. No trolling. No pretending to be a stepparent and then whipping out the Greatest Hits Bingo Card of The Worst Stepparent in the History of Stepparents. We see you. We've seen you a thousand times.

What does "concern trolling", "gish-galloping", and "sealioning" have to do with stepparenting? This isn't a debate sub, why are you using debate terms?

• That's absolutely right, this isn't a debate sub. And yet, here we are, day after day, having to defend ourselves against this sort of thing. So, enough. No more. Usage of any of these things will get you banned.

What is "Concern Trolling?"

• A concern troll is someone who disingenuously visits sites of an opposing ideology to disrupt conversation by offering unwanted advice on how to solve problems which do not really exist.
  • Example Post: OP expresses concern that she will feel, and possibly act, differently towards her stepchildren after her husband decides that no, he doesn't want anymore children after all.
  • Example Concern Troll pulled from actual mod mail after their comment was removed: "Possible child abuse claims need to be sorted out well before whatever empathy you believe the OP was looking for."

What is a "Devil's Advocate"?

• "I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but have you considered that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break, too?" BM has dozens of different mom based subs alone on reddit she can complain on, this sub is for stepparents. The stepparent doesn't need to consider that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break.

"Gish-galloping?" What does that even mean?

• The Gish Gallop is the fallacious debate tactic of drowning your opponent in a flood of individually-weak arguments in order to prevent rebuttal of the whole argument collection without great effort. The Gish Gallop is a conveyor belt-fed version of the on the spot fallacy, as it's unreasonable for anyone to have a well-composed answer immediately available to every argument present in the Gallop.

And "sealioning?" What's that?

• Sealioning involves jumping into a conversation with endless polite, reasonable questions and demands for answers, usually of entry-level topics far below the actual conversation (e.g. "please prove sexism exists"). This tactic differs little from harassment; instead of discussion, the point is to derail discussion, receive criticism (for their ignorance) so as to look like a victim, or to make someone feel overwhelmed and quit talking.

Who gets to define what is considered asshattery?

• The mod team, of course! If we feel that comments are out of line, are trolling, are leading up to a fight or "just asking questions", we are going to remove them and most likely ban the offender.

​
​

FAQ - Sub Questions

Posting Guidelines for Stepparents

• Body text is required, we suggest you use line breaks between paragraphs as a wall of text is difficult to read. Posts that have only a title are likely to be removed. Instead of using names (even fictitious ones), try to use the sub acronyms. It helps our users to follow along if you use the acronyms and not names.
• Assign a post flair that accurately describes what your post is about and what you are seeking. If you are posting an update from a previous post, include a link to that post.
• Flairs are applied to posts to determine what a person is looking for. When submitting a new post, you should choose a flair that specifies if you are looking for advice, support, etc. The following link flair is available and is color coded with side bar links so that you can search by flair:
  • Advice - For when you are specifically asking for advice or help.
  • Announcement - Mod Use Only, for subreddit announcements.
  • Daily (Formerly TTP) - Mod Use Only, for our daily discussion threads.
  • Discussion - A little advice, a little "How does your family handle this?"
  • JustBMThings - Pretty sure this is self explanatory!
  • Legal - Asking for legal advice? Tag it with this!
  • Miscellany - Just a sort of off topic thing? Use this tag.
  • Resource - Sharing a good resource or asking for one? This is the tag you need!
  • Support - For those days when you want nothing but a good old fashioned cry and some community love.
  • Update - Updating us on something that you posted about previously? Use this one!
  • Vent - We all need to vent sometimes. Respect the tag as a vent. This isn't how OP talks all day every day.
  • Win! - Celebrate those wins with us with this tag!
  • Megathread - Mod Use Only, for large mega threads (typically around major calendar events.)

Posting Guidelines for Bioparents

• Stepparents is a support community for stepparents, by stepparents. As bioparents, you may want to have more insight into how the stepparent in your life feels or thinks. You may have questions on how to ease the transition for your partner. However, please keep in mind that this community was not created for you. It was created for your partner or your ex's partner. If you are seeking support on how to deal with a stepparent, there are other subs more suited for your situation and your post is subject to removal.
• There are some posts from bioparents we will accept:
  • Seeking advice on how to support your partner as they navigate stepparenting
  • Seeking resources to help you better support your partner
  • Seeking resources for your partner
• There are some posts from bioparents we will not accept:
  • Complaints about how the stepparent is too involved in your kids lives
  • Vents about how the stepparent is not involved enough in your kids lives
  • "Cautionary tales" advising stepparents to back off
  • Seeking advice on how to tell the stepparent to back off
  • The Do's and Dont's of Stepparenting
  • How your kid's stepmom is literally The Worst
• Comments from bioparents that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from bioparents that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. There are several other subs that may meet the needs of bioparents better than we can. We recommend /coparenting, /parenting, /parents, /blendedfamilies, and /singleparents as starting points.

Guidelines for Stepkids

• At this time, we do not generally accept posts from stepkids. Comments from stepkids that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from stepkids that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. If you are a stepkid seeking support, we highly recommend /stepkids. It is a very supportive community specifically for stepkids. We also recommend /blendedfamilies as another potential group for support.

What the heck are all these acronyms? I'm confused!

• Check out the Common Acronyms wiki page. We try to keep this updated as new terms are introduced to the sub.

Why aren't my posts or comments showing up?

• New posters and accounts go through a waiting period before their posts will show in the sub and the comments on posts automatically. During the new account approval period the mod team will check posts to be sure you aren't attempting to circumvent a ban with a shiny new account. Please be patient while the timer runs down on your "new" status and the mod team approves your posts and responses.

Why was my comment removed?

• Comments are removed when they do not follow the rules of the sub. These rules are published in several places for your reading pleasure.
• Comments are removed at moderator discretion. In some cases your comment may be removed while another remains up. If you find this to be the case, and you believe the comment to be violating the rules, instead of arguing with mods or demanding they remove the additional comments, just report it.

This comment/post is really offensive! Why is it still up?

• All moderators are volunteers and have busy real lives. Sometimes things get past us. The best thing you can do is report anything you find offensive or inflammatory. It's the quickest and most reliable way of alerting us to an issue.

I've received a hurtful/unwanted PM from someone about my recent post. What should I do?

• If you receive an unwanted/hurtful PM from a name you don't recognize, please report it to Reddit Admins using our handy pre-populated form. Be sure to include the permalink to the message. We've been dealing with a few unhappy folks who like to attack stepparents, and reporting it to the admins is the only way to make it stop.

What are the general moderator guidelines?

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

I've been wrongly banned/Why can't I comment here?

• Due to an influx of harassment from users with specific user histories, we have employed a user history ban bot as described above. If you think this has affected you and wish to appeal, please message the mods.

Why was I banned without warning?

• There are numerous reasons that the mod team might opt to move perm banning without warning. Message the moderators if you have specific questions.

❗️Don’t be fooled by reviews, they sell you a dream then later down the line take away your access unless you pay more❗️
Bit of a background;
I joined back in January 2022 when it was a one off payment of £3000+ on the basis of life time support with life time access to the Facebook support group.
Renato sold it to me saying they were different to most companies as I wouldn’t be charged monthly costs only the one off fee. I would just need to pay Facebook monthly for my ADs.
I never spoke to Kyle and have not spoken to Renato since February 2022 as I’ve not needed support till now. I tried to access the Facebook support group and saw it said the group has been paused since 8th February 2024. So they have taken away everyone’s access unless we pay $47 a month.
I understand businesses change so any new people would be under the new pricing / structure as they would be told this when deciding to go ahead, but everyone who paid just the one off fee should still have access.
As they have breached the contract I will doing a Section 75 with my credit card company. It's part of the Consumer Credit Act 1974 that means your credit card provider is jointly and severally responsible for any breach of contract.

Hello Evertonians! I am an FC Barcelona fan, based in Los Angeles, who works in Sports Finance. My neighbor and his wife, who are Evertonians, came over to chat and understand what’s up with the club. It's Saturday night here, and I didn't have anything better to do, so I dug into things.
I will try to simplify things from what I read and the conversations I have heard. I am not involved with the buyout but know folks who are. It's a much smaller industry where everyone knows everyone.
Here we go.
The Debt

• £159 million – MSP Sports Capital
• £225 million – Rights and Media Funding
• £4-5 million – Metro Bank
• £190 million – 777 Partners (Inherited by A Cap)
• £450 million – Moshiri Shareholder Loans

MSP Sports Capital has two distinct security arrangements:

• Assets of Everton Stadium Development Company Limited. This means that in default, MSP can acquire the new stadium to recover their loan. Slightly complicated to explain, but Andy Bell, George Downing, and Moshiri through Blue Sky Capital are also funders of this project.
• Alternatively, MSP has an option to acquire 50 per cent plus one share of Everton’s issued share capital, which would give MSP majority control over Everton Football Club.

Rights and Media Funding is a five-year rolling credit facility. Think of this as something similar to a credit card. Here is where you get conflicting information. A significant discrepancy in reporting, which in my opinion can be a dealbreaker. A few outlets report this loan is secured by future payments from transfers/media, etc. I likely believe it is secured against Everton’s bank accounts, fixed charges over Everton’s property portfolio (near Goodison Park), and a floating charge over all other unencumbered assets. (Shoutout to The Esk, he is an absolute gem). This RMF debt accrues a 10.25% interest.
These are the loans that Everton will have to pay regardless as they are secured well.
Loans to 777 Partners (Inherited by A Cap) are likely junior to these two loans. In any bankruptcy event, MSP and RMF get paid first before 777 Partners and Moshiri. However, A Cap says their loan is secured and they are senior creditors of the club, which would put them at the same level as MSP and RMF.
The Timing
Something that came up in the chatter was the timing of this takeover. It is interesting as Everton is due to receive prize money payments from the league which are stood at £133 million. This is the money the club receives from the overall competition commercial pool, which is distributed to all the teams, based on a few things, for example, their position in the league table at the end of the season.
Folks involved in financing other clubs have said this payment likely hits before 30th June. There is another payment due in August/September which is the first tranche of payments from the league. (Unsure on this one, but this is what I heard, payment flows vary a lot).
Despite the timing, the payments would go only so far in helping the club and were likely factored in during takeover talks. My bet is the takeover is likely to complete before 30th June, or at least a structure is agreed upon. 30th June is the deadline used for accessing Premier League Profit & Sustainability Rules (PSR) compliance.
If deals can be done before that “deadline”, they fall within transfers for the 2023/24 season and are included in the club’s financial accounts for last season, rather than moving into the new campaign. If the plan of the new owners is to recapitalize the team, pay down some debt, and sell players to avoid another PSR violation penalty, my bet is the deal gets done before June 30th.
The Sale
The Buyers As of today, June 8 11:00 pm PDT, here are the potential suitors:

• Andy Bell, George Downing, backed by BDT & MSD Partners (More on this later)
• A consortium led by MSP Sports Capital
• Vatche Manoukian and Investors from Gulf and USA
• John Textor, founder of Eagle Football, owns 45% of Crystal Palace
• Dan Friedkin, Owner of AS Roma

Hear rumblings of another group, but almost everyone is looking to finance the takeover using debt along with equity. Many suitors will be willing to provide debt-based financing for the purchase, hence allegiances are bound to change.
The Possibilities
Here are the things that can happen. I am simplifying this to the bare minimums. The actual deals are complicated af and take months to put up and months to complete.
Possibility I: New Owner comes in, pays all debt, and recapitalizes the team
Highly unlikely. The Premier League is a lucrative league for almost every single private equity investor. It’s the league that is expected to continue to grow and firms take less downside risk when buying a team versus a team in a league like Serie A.
However, this would cost any new owner over £1 billion. My bet it costs somewhere around £1.3 billion. Deals of this size happen, but Everton is in a unique position and negotiating from a position of weakness. In my opinion, only someone in the Middle East or a single buyer would be able to pull this through. No one in private equity would commit to this, as they are all answerable to their investors.
Simply put, Everton is not worth £1.3 billion.
Possibility II: New Owner comes in and negotiates with creditors
A likely option. In this case, a new owner comes in and negotiates with the creditors to either forego some of this debt or restructure it over an extremely long period of time at low rates. This would make Everton a more lucrative option. However, the club would still owe a lot of money over the long run and will be paying interest on that loan.
This would mean Everton is run like a lean machine for a few years, with fewer resources going towards things like player transfers, etc. It would, however, still be able to stay afloat.
Possibility III: MSP Capital exercise the option to take majority control of Everton
Another likely option. More likely than Possibility II. MSP Capital takes majority control and would, in all honesty, look to buy out Moshiri. They will need a lot of capital, and they are already pulling strings, putting up their stake in FC Augsburg for sale last week. MSP buy out Moshiri, restructure some of the debt, and put up some more capital. They would likely clear the RMF loan first.
The managing partner of MSP Sports Capital, Jeff Moorad, was a professor of mine in a class I took at UCLA. He is an absolute beast, and an amazing dude to hang with. Unbiased view, MSP is actually highly respected in the industry, and widely regarded as having a razor sharp approach to finance.
They are known to take long positions, but I think Everton would likely be a position they hold for the short term, IF they go alone on this deal. (This is my take, not Professor Moorad). It would be akin to what Elliott Investment Management did with AC Milan when their Chinese owners backed out. They would step in, stabilize the ship, hope the new stadium attracts enough new commercial and matchday revenue, and sell the team to another buyer recovering some of their investment. What Elliott did with AC Milan was absolutely legendary, and in no world would Gerry Cardinale and RedBird have bought AC Milan had Elliott not done its job.
INSIDE INFO HERE: I cannot reveal others in the MSP Sports Capital consortium. Texted a former colleague who is at the firm that are bidders with MSP. If the consortium is agreed upon, MSP comes in with others, who are capable of buying majority control, and running Everton over the long term. MSP in this case would still retain a minority stake. The new stadium holds the key to this deal.
Possibility IV: Everton goes into administration
Cannot rate this option or its likelihood. Let me walk you through this. Administration is a major taboo in the football world, but something extremely common in finance. It is a way for a firm to basically restructure its debt and get back to good health. It does not mean the club ceases to exist.
The preferred way that things are done is through a method called ‘company voluntary arrangement’ (CVA). In a CVA, a deal is put forth, which creditors vote on, usually giving them less money than they are owed, with voting power decided based on seniority. In this case, MSP and RMF would get more votes in the say versus A-Cap and Moshiri.
CVAs are extremely common in the EFL and other leagues, with advisory firms literally minting millions every year, doing nothing but advising teams here. In the Premier League, only Portsmouth has ever gone into administration. Going into administration would see 9 points being docked at the start of next season for Everton.
The Pros of this approach:

• Everton sheds a ton of debt. This would make it extremely attractive for someone to buy the club.
• The reduced debt will likely be restructured over the long run, hence a free-spending owner coming in can actually devote more money to things like rebuilding the squad, enhancing facilities, hiring more staffers, and growing the club.

The Cons:

• A ton of people likely get fired at Everton, as the club must break even.
• The club cannot spend any more money on signings. They may even sell players.
• Local businesses are affected the most, these are folks who provide things like catering services, produce, florists, etc.
• The Big Kahuna: Going into administration can trigger certain clauses in player contracts that allow them to leave for free. I have seen it happen with teams in the EFL, but the situation remains subjective. Any player with such a clause would need assurances from the new owners before the takeover is complete.

There are some speculations online as this being the preferred way in for new owners. I doubt it, but the threat of administration is enough for even the world’s biggest banks/financiers to come to the negotiating table. Every possible new owner would hold this gun over Moshiri’s head, to get him to agree to a deal, and forgo as much of his loans.
Some Questions I think are FAQs
Is Michael Dell buying Everton?
No, Michael Dell is not buying Everton. Michael Dell’s family office is DFO Management, which was formerly known as MSD Capital. MSD Capital was Michael Dell’s family office, meaning it exclusively invested his money. However, in 2009, MSD Capital opened up to outside investors and became an investment firm of its own. In 2023, MSD merged with BDT to create BDT+MSD, the firm that is backing the Bell and Downing bid.
They do still invest some of Dell’s money, and Dell may be their biggest investor, but as far as I know, BDT is huge itself, managing some of the capital from the Walton Family (Walmart), the Pritzkers, and the Mars Family. BDT’s founder, Byron Trott, is worth about $3.2 billion alone. Trott is considered a legend at Goldman, where he helped Buffett structure his investment in Goldman Sachs during the financial crisis of 2008. One of my ex-bosses worked at Goldman during this period under Trott’s team and considers him a legend, even saying he single-handedly saved Goldman Sachs by convincing Buffett to invest and structuring some wild deals.
One thing I know for sure is BDT+MSD would likely pursue a debt-based financing structure. They are not built to go heavy into equity-based financing for sports teams. BDT+MSD have already done a bunch of debt-based deals; Everton won’t be different. In the scenario where Bell and Downing succeed in taking over, Everton would likely owe a lot of money to BDT+MSD.
Would Bell and Downing with BDT+MSD make sense?
My take here is no. Running a football club is no joke. Even though Bell and Downing being Evertonians makes it ideal, I am not entirely convinced of their ability to run a team. Everton would still be severely constrained financially, as they would owe money to BDT+MSD, and Bell and Downing wouldn’t be able to pump a lot of cash into the business from their end.
There is nothing that guarantees Everton will not see the same scenario as it does now, three years after Bell and Downing take over. Private equity folks make sense, as they come in knowing they may know other clubs but don’t know much about Everton. They will, by default, bring on Evertonians on the board, and will have much more incentive to run it over the long term, as the only way they see a return is through actually growing the club economically, which only means a better Everton on and off the pitch.
Are BDT+MSD backing only Bell and Downing?
No, BDT+MSD are free to back anyone in the contention. They are committing to debt-based financing, so as long as the buyer is credible enough, they should have no problem going ahead. Considering they are backing Bell and Downing, I would be surprised if others in the race did not get better financing terms.
As I said, allegiances in debt-based financing are fluid. The hard truth here is BDT+MSD would likely be calling up other potential buyers who bid to see if BDT+MSD can provide financing for their deal. Debt-based financing for a Premier League club is pretty much a dream scenario for any firm, as the underlying asset securing the loan is more stable than in other deals.
Simply put, BDT+MSD are not competing with other potential buyers; they are competing with firms like JP Morgan, Sixth Street, Ares, Arctos, etc., who may want to front one of the buyers.
What’s up with A-Capital?
I do not know. Conflicting things online. I doubt A-Capital will get to invest anything more in Everton, through debt or through equity. I also read that their financial position is under question as the rating they rely on no longer reflects their financial standing. However, I still do not know what there position is.
Who do I want to see win the bid?
Biased towards MSP Sports Partners because of Jeff Moorad. If they pull the consortium through, and the other investors take over the majority club, all I can say is Everton would be lucky. That being said, there are plenty of other people willing to buy Everton with MSP. As of now, the one most likely, along with MSP, would be a dream scenario.
Also, it wont take time for someone entirely new to emerge as a suitor. That is how consortium works. People are surprised, but its literally like texting friends to pitch in and creating a group chat. Things happen over Telegram/Whatsapp/Signal. My boss had once raised $xxx million for a deal texting the LP in the deal. The conversation went along these lines.
Prospectus sent over Mail + WhatsApp
My Boss : What do you think?
LP : $xxx m 👍
LP : Jeff also $xx m and Jake $xx m 🤝🤝
I can bet there are plenty of group chats of potential consortiums that may enter bidding. Everton FC is low-key a bargain, the debt will eventually get restructured. There are plenty of more messy restructurings that have happened in Finance before. Creditors eventually cave, but its a dogfight.
Enough written. Feel free to drop any Qs you may have, I will answer them to the best of my ability and knowledge of Everton’s finances. Massive shout to The Esk. The guy seems incredibly passionate about Everton.
I really hope you guys pull through, I know you will.

I've been searching the web for "ford transit mk7 radio with sd card reader" but only found Apple CarPlay or Android!!! Nothing with USB, AUX or SD card reader, the ones with SD card reader was only for Volkswagen, PLEASE HELP ME FIND THE ONES WITH SD CARD READER FOR TRANSIT MK7!!!

My study is piled high with books. There are hundreds of books on shelves, stacked on the floor and flanking a laptop on the desk. Subjects covered include marketing, psychology, music, business, design, coding, writing and drawing. I love books. However, it has not always been the case. At school, English was my worst subject and I avoided books, like the plague. In an end of term report, one teacher noted, Phil is not a natural, but finds ways to entertain himself.

Enjoying books

One of the greatest gifts adults can give to their offspring and society is to read to children. - Carl Sagan

The following approach to books helped transform me from a reluctant to an enthusiastic reader:

1. Read topics that excite me. By age fifteen, the only book I had read out of choice was Godel, Escher and Bach. I was excited to read about the fascinating connections between maths, art and music. Not that I knew it at the time, but this sparked my interest in books.
2. Drop books that are not holding my attention. I used to feel that if I started a book then I had to finish it. I now have what Nassim Taleb refers to as an Anti-library - unread books that represent an excellent reference source.
3. Have a low threshold for buying books. Books often cost less than £10 (the same as a few cups coffee). For the enjoyment a book can bring, they are incredibly good value. So many of my life changing decisions have come down to reading a book, e.g. this blog came into being after reading Show Your Work by Austin Kleon.
4. Read books in parallel. I often have five to ten books on the go, on different topics. I read physical books for about 30 minutes per day.
5. Listen to audio books. When on my daily walk, I often listen to audio books. I often buy the audio version of physical books I own.
6. Create a conducive environment for reading. I often read in my living room. On the coffee table are about ten books. This makes it easy to read when I sit down. I also have the Books app on the front screen on my iPhone.
7. Read on an iPad. The size and weight of my iPad makes it a great device to read in coffee shops and elsewhere.
8. Self image upgrade. I realised that many people I admired read books. I wanted to be more like them so I became a reader.

Other resources

How 3 Books Rewired my Brain post by Phil Martin
My 5 Step Learning Process post by Phil Martin
Becoming a book reader in my 30s expanded my mind and transformed my prospects.
Happy reading.
Phil…

My study is piled high with books. There are hundreds of books on shelves, stacked on the floor and flanking a laptop on the desk. Subjects covered include marketing, psychology, music, business, design, coding, writing and drawing. I love books. However, it has not always been the case. At school, English was my worst subject and I avoided books, like the plague. In an end of term report, one teacher noted, Phil is not a natural, but finds ways to entertain himself.

Enjoying books

One of the greatest gifts adults can give to their offspring and society is to read to children. - Carl Sagan

The following approach to books helped transform me from a reluctant to an enthusiastic reader:

1. Read topics that excite me. By age fifteen, the only book I had read out of choice was Godel, Escher and Bach. I was excited to read about the fascinating connections between maths, art and music. Not that I knew it at the time, but this sparked my interest in books.
2. Drop books that are not holding my attention. I used to feel that if I started a book then I had to finish it. I now have what Nassim Taleb refers to as an Anti-library - unread books that represent an excellent reference source.
3. Have a low threshold for buying books. Books often cost less than £10 (the same as a few cups coffee). For the enjoyment a book can bring, they are incredibly good value. So many of my life changing decisions have come down to reading a book, e.g. this blog came into being after reading Show Your Work by Austin Kleon.
4. Read books in parallel. I often have five to ten books on the go, on different topics. I read physical books for about 30 minutes per day.
5. Listen to audio books. When on my daily walk, I often listen to audio books. I often buy the audio version of physical books I own.
6. Create a conducive environment for reading. I often read in my living room. On the coffee table are about ten books. This makes it easy to read when I sit down. I also have the Books app on the front screen on my iPhone.
7. Read on an iPad. The size and weight of my iPad makes it a great device to read in coffee shops and elsewhere.
8. Self image upgrade. I realised that many people I admired read books. I wanted to be more like them so I became a reader.

Other resources

How 3 Books Rewired my Brain post by Phil Martin
My 5 Step Learning Process post by Phil Martin
Becoming a book reader in my 30s expanded my mind and transformed my prospects.
Happy reading.
Phil…

Again, take what resonates leave what doesn’t 🩷
Hello, i’m a tarot reader! I am now offering paid readings but if you have any follow up questions, feel free to ask me (no charge for this) and no charge for same day delivery. I have so much free time today and the following week so hit me up if you want to book a reading or like clarity in your situation :)
how to book? just dm me your question (question only), please approach me nicely poo and also be kind when conversing. you can ask if you’d like to be read here in reddit or tg or other social media platforms (will send my social media acc. e.g twt, tg, and messenger)
you have to pay first, as soon as i’ve already received the payment will definitely send it immediately since when i saw your questions (ive alr shuffle the cards)
MY RATES:
Yes/No Only (No explanation) - ₱10 or $0.17
Yes/No with explanation - ₱50 or $0.85
Special Reading (Love, General, Career) - ₱80 or $1.37
Unlimited Questions for 10-15 minutes - ₱129 or $2.20
Feel free to hit me up! Again, cards aren’t set in stone. It will change over time as you have the power for controlling your future. 🪐✨

Again, take what resonates leave what doesn’t 🩷
Hello, i’m a tarot reader! I am now offering paid readings but if you have any follow up questions, feel free to ask me (no charge for this) and no charge for same day delivery. I have so much free time today and the following week so hit me up if you want to book a reading or like clarity in your situation :)
how to book? just dm me your question (question only), please approach me nicely poo and also be kind when conversing. you can ask if you’d like to be read here in reddit or tg or other social media platforms (will send my social media acc. e.g twt, tg, and messenger)
you have to pay first, as soon as i’ve already received the payment will definitely send it immediately since when i saw your questions (ive alr shuffle the cards)
MY RATES:
Yes/No Only (No explanation) - ₱10 or $0.17
Yes/No with explanation - ₱50 or $0.85
Special Reading (Love, General, Career) - ₱80 or $1.37
Unlimited Questions for 10-15 minutes - ₱129 or $2.20
Feel free to hit me up! Again, cards aren’t set in stone. It will change over time as you have the power for controlling your future. 🪐✨

Hi all, I am thinking about joining the USAF later this year and have been in contact with a recruiter.
Here are some of my bullets to offer some context to my question: - I am a green card holder, not a US citizen yet. I went to an AF recruiter the second I received my green card because that’s the minimum requirement for enlisting(Non-US citizens can’t be an officer). And that’s all I’ve ever wanted in my life, serving the country that’s given me everything I have in my life. I am extremely grateful, and patriotic. - I am 27 years old. Pretty old to join imo, but idc because it’s my dream. I have a BS in management, MBA in finance, and a post-graduate degree in data analytics from Wharton. I’m currently a business intelligence analyst, making a pretty decent salary with a nice bonus. So by enlisting, that means I’ll take a pay cut, even I’ll be an E3 after BMT. But again, idc because it’s my dream to serve the red white and blue. - I’m married, have a wife but no kids. She’s super supportive but to embrace this journey she’ll most likely have to quit her job after my tech school. Which means we’ll lose 70k/year net income, that’s how much she makes now after tax.
Ok, so after a lengthy introduction, I hope my question will make sense and doesn’t offend anyone - How fast can I join OTS? Like literally the fastest I can go.
After boot camp I’ll most likely receive my citizenship, based on what my recruiter told me. So I’ll become eligible for applying. But of course I’m not gonna do that, that’s ridiculous to apply for OTS right after boot camp. My plan is to work really really hard for over a year and get my package ready during year 2. And submit it before year 2. Hopefully I can be an E4 by then, if that would even matter.
I want to know how realistic is my plan? And if not realistic at all, can someone please offer me some advice on how to fast track this process so I can get in OTS with a pretty decent shot? I’m really just asking this for financial purpose only. If I became an O-1 with over 2 years of service, the base pay+BAH+BAS will be just around 10k+ more than what I make now.
Now before anyone starts to criticize me and say “if it’s the money you want then don’t join the military”. My answer is “I know”. If it was the money I wanted, I wouldn’t even consider this path to begin with. I’m really just trying to find a balance here. Of course I’m not trying to be an officer only because of the money. I think I have great leadership skills, and I want to be someone who can lead, mentor, and nurture my fellow airmen. Just doing my part to contribute to the AF.
I have a family and want to be financially responsible to them while chasing my dream. And I think with a masters and a post-graduate degree, it could really help my case here. Also I have a 96 ASVAB, I think that’s a good sign for AFOQT in the future for OTS. I have always been good with test taking, guess that’s just in my Asian genes.
Also I’ll be going after a non-rated OTS path, I think generally it has a lower acceptance rate. But I just wanna get in the cyber or intel part of the branch. So if that’s the case, then so be it.
If anyone has some good insights I’ll be very thankful to discuss. Thanks y’all in advance and god bless.
P.S I don’t think this is a recruit question but more of a general question but the bot kept pushing me to post here instead of the USAF channel. So here I am.

My study is piled high with books. There are hundreds of books on shelves, stacked on the floor and flanking a laptop on the desk. Subjects covered include marketing, psychology, music, business, design, coding, writing and drawing. I love books. However, it has not always been the case. At school, English was my worst subject and I avoided books, like the plague. In an end of term report, one teacher noted, Phil is not a natural, but finds ways to entertain himself.

Enjoying books

One of the greatest gifts adults can give to their offspring and society is to read to children. - Carl Sagan

The following approach to books helped transform me from a reluctant to an enthusiastic reader:

1. Read topics that excite me. By age fifteen, the only book I had read out of choice was Godel, Escher and Bach. I was excited to read about the fascinating connections between maths, art and music. Not that I knew it at the time, but this sparked my interest in books.
2. Drop books that are not holding my attention. I used to feel that if I started a book then I had to finish it. I now have what Nassim Taleb refers to as an Anti-library - unread books that represent an excellent reference source.
3. Have a low threshold for buying books. Books often cost less than £10 (the same as a few cups coffee). For the enjoyment a book can bring, they are incredibly good value. So many of my life changing decisions have come down to reading a book, e.g. this blog came into being after reading Show Your Work by Austin Kleon.
4. Read books in parallel. I often have five to ten books on the go, on different topics. I read physical books for about 30 minutes per day.
5. Listen to audio books. When on my daily walk, I often listen to audio books. I often buy the audio version of physical books I own.
6. Create a conducive environment for reading. I often read in my living room. On the coffee table are about ten books. This makes it easy to read when I sit down. I also have the Books app on the front screen on my iPhone.
7. Read on an iPad. The size and weight of my iPad makes it a great device to read in coffee shops and elsewhere.
8. Self image upgrade. I realised that many people I admired read books. I wanted to be more like them so I became a reader.

Other resources

4 Life Changing Books talk by Ali Abdaal
How 3 Books Rewired my Brain post by Phil Martin
My 5 Step Learning Process post by Phil Martin
Becoming a book reader in my 30s expanded my mind and transformed my prospects.
Happy reading.
Phil…

My study is piled high with books. There are hundreds of books on shelves, stacked on the floor and flanking a laptop on the desk. Subjects covered include marketing, psychology, music, business, design, coding, writing and drawing. I love books. However, it has not always been the case. At school, English was my worst subject and I avoided books, like the plague. In an end of term report, one teacher noted, Phil is not a natural, but finds ways to entertain himself.

Enjoying books

One of the greatest gifts adults can give to their offspring and society is to read to children. - Carl Sagan

The following approach to books helped transform me from a reluctant to an enthusiastic reader:

1. Read topics that excite me. By age fifteen, the only book I had read out of choice was Godel, Escher and Bach. I was excited to read about the fascinating connections between maths, art and music. Not that I knew it at the time, but this sparked my interest in books.
2. Drop books that are not holding my attention. I used to feel that if I started a book then I had to finish it. I now have what Nassim Taleb refers to as an Anti-library - unread books that represent an excellent reference source.
3. Have a low threshold for buying books. Books often cost less than £10 (the same as a few cups coffee). For the enjoyment a book can bring, they are incredibly good value. So many of my life changing decisions have come down to reading a book, e.g. this blog came into being after reading Show Your Work by Austin Kleon.
4. Read books in parallel. I often have five to ten books on the go, on different topics. I read physical books for about 30 minutes per day.
5. Listen to audio books. When on my daily walk, I often listen to audio books. I often buy the audio version of physical books I own.
6. Create a conducive environment for reading. I often read in my living room. On the coffee table are about ten books. This makes it easy to read when I sit down. I also have the Books app on the front screen on my iPhone.
7. Read on an iPad. The size and weight of my iPad makes it a great device to read in coffee shops and elsewhere.
8. Self image upgrade. I realised that many people I admired read books. I wanted to be more like them so I became a reader.

Other resources

4 Life Changing Books talk by Ali Abdaal
How 3 Books Rewired my Brain post by Phil Martin
My 5 Step Learning Process post by Phil Martin
Becoming a book reader in my 30s expanded my mind and transformed my prospects.
Happy reading.
Phil…

Hi all, I am thinking about joining the USAF later this year and have been in contact with a recruiter.
Here are some of my bullets to offer some context to my question: - I am a green card holder, not a US citizen yet. I went to an AF recruiter the second I received my green card because that’s the minimum requirement for enlisting(Non-US citizens can’t be an officer). And that’s all I’ve ever wanted in my life, serving the country that’s given me everything I have in my life. I am extremely grateful, and patriotic. - I am 27 years old. Pretty old to join imo, but idc because it’s my dream. I have a BS in management(GPA 2.97), MBA in finance(GPA 3.78), and a post-graduate degree in data analytics from Wharton. I’m currently a business intelligence analyst, making a pretty decent salary with a nice bonus. So by enlisting, that means I’ll take a pay cut, even I’ll be an E3 after BMT. But again, idc because it’s my dream to serve the red white and blue. - I’m married, have a wife but no kids. She’s super supportive but to embrace this journey she’ll most likely have to quit her job after my tech school. Which means we’ll lose 70k/year net income, that’s how much she makes now after tax.
Ok, so after a lengthy introduction, I hope my question will make sense and doesn’t offend anyone - How fast can I join OTS? Like literally the fastest I can go.
After boot camp I’ll most likely receive my citizenship, based on what my recruiter told me. So I’ll become eligible for applying. But of course I’m not gonna do that, that’s ridiculous to apply for OTS right after boot camp. My plan is to work really really hard for over a year and get my package ready during year 2. And submit it before year 2. Hopefully I can be an E4 by then, if that would even matter.
I want to know how realistic is my plan? And if not realistic at all, can someone please offer me some advice on how to fast track this process so I can get in OTS with a pretty decent shot? I’m really just asking this for financial purpose only. If I became an O-1 with over 2 years of service, the base pay+BAH+BAS will be just around 10k+ more than what I make now.
Now before anyone starts to criticize me and say “if it’s the money you want then don’t join the military”. My answer is “I know”. If it was the money I wanted, I wouldn’t even consider this path to begin with. I’m really just trying to find a balance here. Of course I’m not trying to be an officer only because of the money. I think I have great leadership skills, and I want to be someone who can lead, mentor, and nurture my fellow airmen. Just doing my part to contribute to the AF.
I have a family and want to be financially responsible to them while chasing my dream. And I think with a masters and a post-graduate degree, it could really help my case here. Also I have a 96 ASVAB, I think that’s a good sign for AFOQT in the future for OTS. I have always been good with test taking, guess that’s just in my Asian genes.
Also I’ll be going after a non-rated OTS path, I think generally it has a lower acceptance rate. But I just wanna get in the cyber or intel part of the branch. So if that’s the case, then so be it.
I’m currently comparing USAF and USCG. Very different culture and I feel like I’m leaning more towards the AF based on the career opportunities and I don’t have to wait for tech school. But CG can offer me 35k stackable bonus which is sweet lol So yea I’m weighing my options here.
If anyone has some good insights I’ll be very open to discuss. Thanks y’all in advance and god bless.