So firstly I take this on faith, I know him to be the Truth for reasons that are beyond material explanation but for the doubters show me how this is not evidence. I'm just posting this on my profile due to most subs being controlled, so all you that watch my profile I invite you to give a good explanation to this.
Isaiah 53 1 Who will believe our report? and to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed?
2 But he shall grow up before him as a branch, and as a root out of a dry ground; he hath neither form nor beauty: when we shall see him, there shall be no form that we should desire him.
3 He is despised and rejected of men: he is a man full of sorrows, and hath experience of infirmities: we hid as it were our faces from him: he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 Surely, he hath born our infirmities, and carried our sorrows, yet we did judge him as plagued and smitten of God, and humbled.
5 But he was wounded for our transgressions: he was broken for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him, and with his stripes are we healed.
6 All we like sheep have gone astray: we have turned every one to his own way, and the Lord hath laid upon him the iniquity of us all.
7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet did he not open his mouth: he is brought as a sheep to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearer is dumb, so he opened not his mouth.
8 He was taken out from prison, and from judgment: and who shall declare his age? for he was cut out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he plagued.
9 And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no wickedness, neither was any deceit in his mouth.
10 Yet the Lord would break him and make him subject to infirmities: when he shall make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed and shall prolong his days, and the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.
11 He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied; by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many: for he shall bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore will I give him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong, because he hath poured out his soul unto death; and he was counted with the transgressors, and he bare the sin of many, and prayed for the trespassers.

• I assume anyone who reads this has a decent enough knowledge of the Gospels but if not then read them and you will see this is prophecy of Jesus Christ. This is estimated to be written between 740 and 700 BCE and the earliest surviving manuscript was found in the dead sea scrolls written between 140 and 100 BCE. So it is definitely over 100 years before the birth of Christ. Now look at Tacitus' account of who he referred to as Christus.

"But all human efforts, all the lavish gifts of the emperor, and the propitiations of the gods, did not banish the sinister belief that the conflagration was the result of an order. Consequently, to get rid of the report, Nero fastened the guilt and inflicted the most exquisite tortures on a class hated for their abominations, called Christians by the populace. Christus, from whom the name had its origin, suffered the extreme penalty during the reign of Tiberius at the hands of one of our procurators, Pontius Pilatus, and a most mischievous superstition, thus checked for the moment, again broke out not only in Judæa, the first source of the evil, but even in Rome, where all things hideous and shameful from every part of the world find their centre and become popular. Accordingly, an arrest was first made of all who pleaded guilty; then, upon their information, an immense multitude was convicted, not so much of the crime of firing the city, as of hatred against mankind."
"Scholars such as Bruce Chilton, Craig Evans, Paul Eddy and Gregory Boyd agree with John Meier's statement that "Despite some feeble attempts to show that this text is a Christian interpolation in Tacitus, the passage is obviously genuine"."
Show me any evidence this strong for the other 2 so called Abrahamic Religions. You can't and never will yet Christianity receives the most doubt. Why? Because it is not religion, it is the written Truth and the events described in Revelations will occur.

Short version — Anyone’s mom act weird when you told them you bought a test kit to take, but the results ended up showing your dad was still your bio-dad?
Long version — I’ve always been kind of against tests like Ancestry due to concerns about privacy regarding DNA. But after 4 years of hardore researching I think it’s the best bet for my maternal side to try to find more relatives. (Her side has been heavily affected by war, poverty, generational trauma…somewhat of a disconnected group) My mom has always been so thankful / super Interested in any research I found for her & my Dad’s (although she & my dad have never been together during my lifetime). However, she texted me Sunday asking what I got for Mother’s Day. I told her the kit as gift from my husband as he knows how hard I’ve worked on developing her side of the tree, but once I get past her great-great grandpa it’s just hard to confirm info. She only replied with — “Why am I getting this message?” Confused I explained again about wanting to find relatives on her side & all she responded was: “You said you weren’t interested in a DNA test. So why would you do this??” Sooo I responded again that really I’m only interested in an attempt to see if I am on the right track. She read it & didn’t reply (WEIRD for my mom) it’s now Wednesday…still no response.
Background — I never liked the guy she claimed was my bio dad. Only met him once as a young kid then again in my teens. During my teens I tried to have a relationship w him, but he was seriously such an ass…asked me for gas money when I had a flat tire so he drove me 20 minutes to school…I was 16! 🤣 But I have had a relationship with his family who all dislike him as well due to stealing from his grandparents (most haven’t talked to him in 30+ years, I’m 34). If the test revealed he likely (or definitely) wasn’t my bio-dad…. I can’t imagine it being earth shattering info for me. Although I’m not sure I would tell his mom at this point because she’s 78. We have been close for most of my life, I’ve even lived with her off & on throughout my teens / early 20s. I think with her personality it would wreck her (more on that later).
Now I also realize my mom may be acting like this because of things like her relation to her side of the family. I think it’s highly unlikely her change in behavior is because I was adopted because my parents were minors 15 & 16 when I was born. I also have her pregnancy / L&D pics. I guess I’m only wondering if this change in behavior may have to do with my dad’s paternity for two reasons:

1. My step-dad who raised me my whole life found out he wasn’t the father of my younger half-brother in 2016. My mom was livid when they found out. I had always heard suspicions growing up my brother wasn’t my step-dads because they were separated when they conceived. I was 6 at the time & remembered my mom going on dates…then all the sudden she was back with my step-dad acting like he was the love of her life….6 months later my brother was born. She claimed to my brother she always knew that wasn’t his dad but never apologized. Just blamed him for taking the test.
   
2. My grandma I’m so close with (bio-dad’s mom) said she refused to see me in person for months after birth because she thought my mom was cheating on my dad when they conceived me. Also, she said from pics she saw I “looked nothing like him”. Then after seeing me in person she “fell in love” & “could see a resemblance” lol.
   

Anyways, just curious if anyone had mentioned this before to their parent / family & noticed relatives started acting off…then you found out you had different relatives, or perhaps there was no info to be found.

Hi everyone,
This is quite an emergency (I mean, non vital but time scaled), I'm an AV technician apprentice and I work on-site for a congress that takes place all this week. This is maybe one of the biggest professional congresses in the world and at least the most important for my company. I have big troubles to be on time in general. I struggle with anxiety, which is a super combo. I fail every day since the beginning of the congress to arrive on time, and this is a big of a deal for 2 reasons:
1st - strictly professional behaviour, people count on me, even though I'm "just" an apprentice, I have responsibilities 2nd - besides my responsibilities, I miss important things I want to see and learn, that happen only on the morning before the congress opens
My flat is a mess and I am completely tired in the evening to clean up, even though I am motivated to do so when I leave work, the commuting kills me.
In the morning I am stuck in my bed and putting my alarm earlier doesn't help. Time is just drifting away. I am completely stressed out and getting more and more tired, I don't know what to do. I would like a temporary solution for this week, I plan to work on it for the long term with my therapists.
Thanks a lot!

Linen, a fabric that whispers of age-old tradition and natural elegance, holds a special place in the hearts of those who value sustainability and style. Originating from the flax plant, linen is not just a fabric; it's a testament to durability and comfort, making it a beloved choice for both fashion and home decor. In the warm, vibrant landscapes of South Africa, linen transcends merely being a material to becoming a lifestyle choice, perfectly suited to the country's sunny climate and laid-back elegance.
As you explore the world of linen, you'll discover its unique properties that make it a real summer fabric, yet versatile enough for all seasons. Its ability to wear airy, stay cool, and dry quickly, alongside its eco-friendly and long-lasting nature, makes linen a smart choice for those looking to blend style with sustainability. Whether it's in the form of chic dresses, wide-leg pants for the fashion-forward, or as part of your home's interior with linen bedding and pillows, linen brings a unique, casual look that's effortlessly sophisticated.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Linen is a durable, sustainable fabric made from the flax plant, celebrated for its comfort, eco-friendliness, and style versatility in fashion and home décor, especially within the vibrant setting of South Africa.
• Its unique texture, ability to improve with age, and durability make linen a superior choice for both attire and household items, offering a blend of casual sophistication and robust longevity.
• Linen's sustainability attributes, including lower water requirements and biodegradability, align with eco-conscious living, making it a preferred material for those prioritising environmental stewardship alongside stylistic elegance.
• The fabric supports traditional skills, with the high demand for quality linen helping to preserve artisanal textile crafting techniques, ensuring the continuation of cultural heritage and craftsmanship.
• Caring for linen involves gentle washing, air drying, and avoiding bleaching, ensuring the fabric maintains its natural beauty and longevity as part of a sustainable lifestyle.
• India Ink's home decor collection showcases the versatility and elegance of linen, with an array of products that enrich living spaces with comfort, style, and a commitment to sustainable living practices.

THE BEAUTY OF LINEN

Discovering what is linen unlocks a world of elegance and refinement, especially within the vibrant context of South Africa. This natural fabric, celebrated for its classic appeal and sustainable qualities, plays a pivotal role in both fashion and home decor. Let's delve deeper into the texture and durability of linen and explore its versatility in home decoration.

TEXTURE AND DURABILITY

Linen's unique texture is one of its most cherished attributes. It's soft yet sturdy, offering a comfort that's unmatched by most other materials. This exquisite fabric originates from the flax plant, known for its long, strong fibres, making linen an outstanding choice for longevity. Its natural crinkles add a casual yet sophisticated charm to any item, whether it's clothing or decor pieces.
But it's not just about looks; durability is where linen truly shines. Sheeting linen, with its high thread count, offers an extra layer of durability, making it perfect for everyday use without sacrificing its beauty. This resilience makes linen an intelligent choice for those seeking quality and style in one package. Over time, linen doesn't weaken but instead becomes softer, enhancing its usability and aesthetic appeal with every wash.

VERSATILITY IN HOME DECOR

When it comes to Home Decor, linen stands out for its versatility. Its ability to blend seamlessly into any setting, from modern minimalist to rustic chic, makes it a top choice for interior designers and homeowners alike. In the sunny and lively ambiance of South Africa, linen's breathable and cool nature complements the climate brilliantly, offering comfort and style.
From luxurious India Ink Home Decor collections to locally crafted pieces, linen is a staple material. It's employed in creating everything from plush bedding that cools in the summer nights to elegant tablecloths that elevate a dining experience. Linen pillows and poufs add a touch of casual elegance to any room, making spaces more inviting and comfortable.
Moreover, the aesthetic of linen items in home decor cannot be overstated. Their unique texture and the way they gracefully drape offer a balance between laid-back and refined, embodying a lifestyle that appreciates both comfort and elegance. Choosing linen for your Best Home Decor selections means opting for pieces that age gracefully, becoming more beautiful with time and use.
Incorporating linen into your home isn't just a style choice—it's a commitment to a lifestyle that values quality, sustainability, and timeless elegance. Whether you're dressing up your living space or adding a touch of sophistication to your wardrobe, linen's unmatched blend of beauty and durability makes it an enduring favourite.

THE SUSTAINABILITY OF LINE

Linen, a fabric as elegant as it's sustainable, has found its way into the heart of South African homes and wardrobes, marrying timeless elegance with eco-conscious living. Let's delve into why linen consistently ranks as a top choice for those prioritising both style and sustainability.

ECO-FRIENDLY PRODUCTION

When pondering what is linen, it's essential to acknowledge its eco-friendly production process. Linen comes from the flax plant, which is remarkably resilient, requiring significantly less water than cotton and thriving without the need for harmful pesticides. This makes linen an environmentally friendly option right from its inception. In South Africa, a region where water scarcity is a concern, choosing linen supports a more sustainable approach to textile production.
The production of linen is more labor-intensive than that of cotton, but it's a process that respects the environment, harnessing traditional farming techniques that have stood the test of time. This aspect makes linen not just a fabric, but a testament to eco-friendly practices that align with the values of sustainability-minded consumers, especially those seeking the best home decor options that India Ink and similar brands offer.

BIODEGRADABILITY AND LONGEVITY

One of the most striking features of linen is its biodegradability and longevity. Linen garments and home decor items don't just offer a distinctively sophisticated aesthetic, they're also built to last. Linen's robust fibres can withstand years of wear and washing, gradually becoming softer and more comfortable over time without losing their integrity. This enduring quality ensures that linen products remain a fixture in homes for years, reducing the need for frequent replacements and contributing less waste to landfills.
For those invested in creating a home with the best home decor, choosing linen not only adds a touch of luxury but also makes a statement about sustainable living. It's comforting to know that once a linen item has reached the end of its long, useful life, it will naturally decompose, leaving minimal environmental impact.

SUPPORTING TRADITIONAL SKILLS

The demand for high-quality linen in South Africa helps support and preserve traditional skills and livelihoods. The intricate process of transforming flax into linen requires expertise that has been passed down through generations. By choosing linen for your home decor or wardrobe, you're contributing to the survival of these artisanal practices, ensuring they can continue to thrive in the modern world.
Communities dedicated to the art of linen-making benefit from the rejuvenated interest in sustainable textiles. It's a celebration of heritage and craftsmanship, with each piece of linen telling a story of cultural legacy meshed with contemporary design. Brands like India Ink not only showcase the natural beauty and durability of linen in their home decor collections but also champion the traditional skills behind the fabric, promoting a deeper appreciation for the hands that craft them.
As linen weaves its way through South African homes, it brings with it a reminder of the importance of making eco-conscious choices in every aspect of our lives. From its low-impact production to its ability to support age-old crafting techniques, linen stands out as a symbol of sustainable luxury.

LINEN IN CULTURE AND TRADITION

Linen, woven from the fibres of flax plants, carries with it a rich tapestry of cultural significance and traditional value, particularly in South Africa. Long before what is linen became a common query in the vibrant world of home decor, this fabric was deeply rooted in local customs and practices, symbolising purity and wealth.
Incorporating linen into your home through India ink home decor items not only enhances the aesthetic of your living spaces but also pays homage to a tradition that has been cherished across generations. In South Africa, linen is often featured in cultural celebrations and ceremonies, symbolising a connection to nature and a commitment to sustainability. This tradition underscores the essence of selecting the best home decor that is not only beautiful but also steeped in meaning.
Due to its natural origins and eco-friendly production, linen has become increasingly popular among South African designers and homeowners looking to make eco-conscious choices. Products made from linen – from elegant draperies to crisp bedding – not only imbue homes with a sense of luxury but also carry forward a legacy of environmental stewardship. As more people seek out sustainable options, linen's appeal continues to grow, merging home decor trends with timeless tradition.
Using linen in your home is a nod to both the past and the future, blending cultural heritage with modern sustainability ideals. By choosing linen, you contribute to a global movement towards more responsible consumption patterns, all while enriching your home with pieces that tell a story. It's a fabric that transcends mere utility, becoming a symbol of careful craftsmanship and respect for the environment – values deeply embedded in South African culture.
Whether it's through the touch of a linen tablecloth or the embrace of a linen throw, integrating this fabric into your home decor offers a seamless blend of style, comfort, and conscious living. Linen's durability and biodegradability ensure that your choice is not only an investment in aesthetics but in the planet's future as well.

CARING FOR YOUR LINEN

Linen, known for its breathability, durability, and effortless charm, has become a staple in the realm of home decor, blending seamlessly with the aesthetic desired by many South African households. When integrating pieces like India ink home decor or any linen-based items into your space, knowing how to care for this fabric can preserve its beauty and longevity, ensuring your best home decor remains in prime condition.
Firstly, always check the care label before laundering your linen items. Typically, linen is machine washable in lukewarm water on a gentle cycle. Use a mild, liquid detergent to avoid any harshness on the fibres. It's crucial to avoid bleaching your linen, as this can weaken the fibres and alter the colour, diminishing the natural beauty of the fabric.
Drying your linen correctly is just as important as how you wash it. While tumble drying on a low heat setting is generally safe, air drying is preferable for preserving the fabric's quality and reducing energy consumption. Hang or lay your items flat in a shaded area, as direct sunlight can cause fading.
Ironing linen, while not always necessary thanks to its naturally relaxed texture, should be done while the fabric is still slightly damp. Use a medium-hot iron and press on the wrong side to avoid shiny marks. For an immaculate finish, consider using a steam iron.
For linen items that are part of your home decor, like draperies or upholstered furniture, regular vacuuming with a soft brush attachment can minimise dust accumulation. Spot clean any spills immediately with a damp cloth, avoiding rubbing, which can embed stains deeper into the fabric.
Remember, linen's beauty lies in its natural, slightly wrinkled appearance, embodying effortless elegance and comfort. By following these care tips, you'll ensure your linen home decor continues to add a touch of warmth and sophistication to your home, embodying the best of practicality and style.

INDIA INK'S LINEN COLLECTION

When exploring what is linen and its applications in home decor, India Ink stands out as a beacon of quality and innovation within the South African context. Their linen collection merges traditional elegance with contemporary design, ensuring your home not only reflects style but also exudes comfort.
At the heart of India Ink's home decor philosophy is a commitment to using premium linen fabrics. Recognised for its durability, breathability, and elegance, linen brings a touch of luxury and a sense of natural beauty to any space. Whether you're revamping your bedroom, updating your living area, or adding finesse to your bathroom, India Ink offers an extensive range of linen products to elevate your home's aesthetic.
Their collection showcases a variety of linen items including, but not limited to:

• Luxurious bed linens that promise to transform your sleep experience,
• Elegant tablecloths and napkins designed to complement your dining area,
• Sophisticated curtains that blend functionality with style, providing privacy while inviting just the right amount of natural light.

What sets India Ink apart is their keen eye for detail and their embrace of linen's natural characteristics. Acknowledging linen's inherent propensity for slight wrinkles, India Ink designs embrace this texture, adding a relaxed yet elegant charm to their products. This approach not only highlights the authentic quality of the fabric but also ensures that every item from their collection adds a distinct character to your home decor.
Investing in India Ink's linen collection guarantees you're bringing into your home a piece of fabric known for its archival integrity and strength. Moreover, their linen selection is curated to cater to the best home decor tastes, seamlessly blending functionality with aesthetic appeal. Whether you're after the crisp, clean look that a touch of starch can provide or the more casual, lived-in appearance, India Ink has you covered.
Exploring India Ink’s home decor offerings allows you to experience the unique charm and sophisticated comfort that linen brings into a space. Their collection highlights how this ancient fabric continues to hold relevance in contemporary decor, marrying tradition with modernity in the most elegant manner.
Exploring India Ink's Linen Collection reveals more than just the timeless elegance of linen; it unveils a world where durability meets luxury in every thread. By choosing their linen products, you're not just adding a piece of fabric to your home. You're embracing a tradition of sophistication and comfort that has been cherished for centuries. Whether it's the gentle embrace of bed linens or the refined touch of tablecloths and curtains, India Ink ensures that every item enriches your living space with a blend of classic and contemporary design. Their commitment to quality and attention to the natural beauty of linen make their collection a perfect choice for those looking to infuse their homes with a sense of refined charm and enduring style.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COTTON AND LINEN?

Cotton and linen have distinct fibers; cotton is softer and more versatile, while linen is naturally stronger and known for its durability, breathability, and luxurious feel. Each has its unique characteristics catering to different needs and preferences.

WHAT HAPPENS IF LINEN GETS WET?

Linen can shrink when wet, a common trait among fabrics. To minimise shrinkage, it's best to wash linen at lukewarm temperatures, around 40°C, on a gentle cycle, preserving its quality and dimensions.

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF FABRIC IS LINEN?

To differentiate linen from cotton, dampen a finger and press it against the fabric. Linen absorbs moisture faster and more visibly due to its fewer surface fibres compared to cotton, making it distinguishable through this simple test.

WHAT ARE TWO CHARACTERISTICS OF LINEN?

Linen stands out for its strength, durability, UV protection, lightweight nature, rapid moisture evaporation, and antibacterial properties. These features contribute to its lasting appeal and suitability for a wide range of uses, from clothing to home decor.

WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF LINEN?

Advantages: Linen keeps you cool, is easy to clean, and when organic, uses natural dyes beneficial for both health and the environment. Disadvantage: The main drawback is its cost, which can be significantly higher than other fabrics. Regular washing without tumble drying is recommended to avoid permanent creases.

LESSON 136. Sickness is a defense against the truth.
No one can heal unless he understands what purpose sickness seems to serve. For then he understands as well its purpose has no meaning. Being causeless and without a meaningful intent of any kind, it cannot be at all. When this is seen, healing is automatic. It dispels this meaningless illusion by the same approach that carries all of them to truth, and merely leaves them there to disappear.
Sickness is not an accident. Like all defenses, it is an insane device for self-deception. And like all the rest, its purpose is to hide reality, attack it, change it, render it inept, distort it, twist it, or reduce it to a little pile of unassembled parts. The aim of all defenses is to keep the truth from being whole. The parts are seen as if each one were whole within itself.
Defenses are not unintentional, nor are they made without awareness. They are secret, magic wands you wave when truth appears to threaten what you would believe. They seem to be unconscious but because of the rapidity with which you choose to use them. In that second, even less, in which the choice is made, you recognize exactly what you would attempt to do, and then proceed to think that it is done.
Who but yourself evaluates a threat, decides escape is necessary, and sets up a series of defenses to reduce the threat that has been judged as real? All this cannot be done unconsciously. But afterwards, your plan requires that you must forget you made it, so it seems to be external to your own intent; a happening beyond your state of mind, an outcome with a real effect on you, instead of one effected by yourself.
It is this quick forgetting of the part you play in making your “reality” that makes defenses seem to be beyond your own control. But what you have forgot can be remembered, given willingness to reconsider the decision which is doubly shielded by oblivion. Your not remembering is but the sign that this decision still remains in force, as far as your desires are concerned. Mistake not this for fact. Defenses must make facts unrecognizable. They aim at doing this, and it is this they do.
Every defense takes fragments of the whole, assembles them without regard to all their true relationships, and thus constructs illusions of a whole that is not there. It is this process that imposes threat, and not whatever outcome may result. When parts are wrested from the whole and seen as separate and wholes within themselves, they become symbols standing for attack upon the whole; successful in effect, and never to be seen as whole again. And yet you have forgotten that they stand but for your own decision of what should be real, to take the place of what is real.
Sickness is a decision. It is not a thing that happens to you, quite unsought, which makes you weak and brings you suffering. It is a choice you make, a plan you lay, when for an instant truth arises in your own deluded mind, and all your world appears to totter and prepare to fall. Now are you sick, that truth may go away and threaten your establishments no more.
How do you think that sickness can succeed in shielding you from truth? Because it proves the body is not separate from you, and so you must be separate from the truth. You suffer pain because the body does, and in this pain are you made one with it. Thus is your “true” identity preserved, and the strange, haunting thought that you might be something beyond this little pile of dust silenced and stilled. For see, this dust can make you suffer, twist your limbs and stop your heart, commanding you to die and cease to be.
Thus is the body stronger than the truth, which asks you live, but cannot overcome your choice to die. And so the body is more powerful than everlasting life, Heaven more frail than hell, and God’s design for the salvation of His Son opposed by a decision stronger than His Will. His Son is dust, the Father incomplete, and chaos sits in triumph on His throne.
Such is your planning for your own defense. And you believe that Heaven quails before such mad attacks as these, with God made blind by your illusions, truth turned into lies, and all the universe made slave to laws which your defenses would impose on it. Yet who believes illusions but the one who made them up? Who else can see them and react to them as if they were the truth?
God knows not of your plans to change His Will. The universe remains unheeding of the laws by which you thought to govern it. And Heaven has not bowed to hell, nor life to death. You can but choose to think you die, or suffer sickness or distort the truth in any way. What is created is apart from all of this. Defenses are plans to defeat what cannot be attacked. What is unalterable cannot change. And what is wholly sinless cannot sin.
Such is the simple truth. It does not make appeal to might nor triumph. It does not command obedience, nor seek to prove how pitiful and futile your attempts to plan defenses that would alter it. Truth merely wants to give you happiness, for such its purpose is. Perhaps it sighs a little when you throw away its gifts, and yet it knows, with perfect certainty, that what God wills for you must be received.
It is this fact that demonstrates that time is an illusion. For time lets you think what God has given you is not the truth right now, as it must be. The Thoughts of God are quite apart from time. For time is but another meaningless defense you made against the truth. Yet what He wills is here, and you remain as He created you.
Truth has a power far beyond defense, for no illusions can remain where truth has been allowed to enter. And it comes to any mind that would lay down its arms, and cease to play with folly. It is found at any time; today, if you will choose to practice giving welcome to the truth.
This is our aim today. And we will give a quarter of an hour twice to ask the truth to come to us and set us free. And truth will come, for it has never been apart from us. It merely waits for just this invitation which we give today. We introduce it with a healing prayer, to help us rise above defensiveness, and let truth be as it has always been:
Sickness is a defense against the truth. I will accept the truth of what I am, and let my mind be wholly healed today.
Healing will flash across your open mind, as peace and truth arise to take the place of war and vain imaginings. There will be no dark corners sickness can conceal, and keep defended from the light of truth. There will be no dim figures from your dreams, nor their obscure and meaningless pursuits with double purposes insanely sought, remaining in your mind. It will be healed of all the sickly wishes that it tried to authorize the body to obey.
Now is the body healed, because the source of sickness has been opened to relief. And you will recognize you practiced well by this: The body should not feel at all. If you have been successful, there will be no sense of feeling ill or feeling well, of pain or pleasure. No response at all is in the mind to what the body does. Its usefulness remains and nothing more.
Perhaps you do not realize that this removes the limits you had placed upon the body by the purposes you gave to it. As these are laid aside, the strength the body has will always be enough to serve all truly useful purposes. The body’s health is fully guaranteed, because it is not limited by time, by weather or fatigue, by food and drink, or any laws you made it serve before. You need do nothing now to make it well, for sickness has become impossible.
Yet this protection needs to be preserved by careful watching. If you let your mind harbor attack thoughts, yield to judgment or make plans against uncertainties to come, you have again misplaced yourself, and made a bodily identity which will attack the body, for the mind is sick.
Give instant remedy, should this occur, by not allowing your defensiveness to hurt you longer. Do not be confused about what must be healed, but tell yourself:
I have forgotten what I really am, for I mistook my body for myself. Sickness is a defense against the truth. But I am not a body. And my mind cannot attack. So I can not be sick.

This story is also being posted on royal road, my username over there is cosmicslime. You can find the rest here: ROYAL ROAD
If you do end up reading this story, then I'd appreciate a follow over on Royal Road. I'd also like to hear your thoughts on it up to chapter twelve. You can share them in the form of a review, mentioning what you did and didn't like about the story, I'll try to get through as many of them as possible.

Chapter Two - Beginning Of Ruin - Part Two

Slowly coming to a halting stop, the wooden boat previously acting as my mode of transport came to a complete rest against the river's gentle current, precisely lining up with the river dock now on my right.
Stepping out of the drifting craft, my feet made contact with the solid ground once more. For some reason the ground below me felt somewhat ethereal after travelling that short distance by water. Laid out in front of me was a paved path that perfectly divided the rows of red spider lilies on either side.
Strewing the familiar weapon across my shoulders, I flicked the timeless hood over my head before traversing the vacant road with no particular destination in mind, as I walked by, the spider lilies blowing in the wind would halt their swaying motions in an unnatural display of primal fear.
No matter how much I tried to tone it down, it seems the ominous pressure being emitted by this body couldn’t help but inspire fear in the hearts of living creatures. Even here in this Celestial realm, it was still the domain of the living so my presence here was hardly ever warranted, nor welcomed for that matter. It wasn’t hard for me to see the effect my presence had on a given setting, it would always elicit a combination of three reactions from those around me.
It was either fear, hatred or anxiety.
That was the case for all but one....just a single girl didn’t seem to mind me being near her at all.
Just as I was about to rescind myself to the inevitable fate that came along with this existence, I saw something or rather, someone approaching in the distance.
It was another young female wearing glasses and speeding towards me as fast as her nimble legs could carry her. She was holding something like a scroll in her right hand and given how awkward her tumbling strides were, it was clear that athletics weren’t her forte.
As soon as she’d gotten within range, her eyes sparked with a sudden realization, and she abruptly placed her right leg in front of her to slow her awkward sprint. Kicking up a fit of dust in the process, the green haired girl stopped just a few footsteps away from me before immediately bowing in a trembling motion.
“G-G-good evening, Sir Shinigami....or would you prefer Sir Reaper instead?” That timid question trailed behind her upturned eyes.
“It doesn’t matter. What is it Minerva? I doubt you sprinted all the way here just to give me such an awkward greeting.”
“Eh....you-you know my name?”
“Naturally.”
I saw her face lose a bit of its color after I spoke those words, but she soon collected herself before correcting her posture.
“Ah! I wanted to ask you about something. You see I’m in charge of managing the souls that get sent to reincarnate from both the overworld and Eden, but something odd has come up.”
“Something odd you say?”
“Yes, I was going through the archives just now and from what I’m seeing, none of the celestial souls that were sent to reincarnate have entered the cycle. Our souls usually tend to take a little longer to recycle but this is just an anomaly, for the past four hundred years very few of the celestial souls have managed to successfully reincarnate. That’s why I was rushing over here, I wanted to see if you could somehow properly escort Luelle instead of just letting things happen the usual way.”
“I saw her off just as she’d requested, she didn’t want me to personally send off her soul for some reason.”
Minerva’s neon eyes drooped a little lower just then, it almost seemed as if she was staring at the scroll now in her hands but after a few seconds it quickly became clear that it wasn’t the case at all.
“I see...so she’s really gone then.”
“Yeah.”
The distant silence that fell over us seemed to drown out even the humming winds now passing through the field of lilies.
“That scroll...doesn’t it automatically record everyone who enters the source?”
“Yes, I was just about to check it myself.”
She unraveled the thick parchment like material, scanning the myriad of letters that were appearing on its surface.
Her eyes widened in anticipation and after a while, a careless stream of words escaped her mouth. “It’s.....not....here.”
That was the beginning of it.
“Not there? You mean her soul....hasn’t returned to the source?”
The edges of the well-aged scroll crumpled under the force now being exerted by her slender fingers.
“Usually if I want to search for a particular soul, I just need to concentrate on the name of the person I'm trying to find. Even a vague image would usually be enough but....no matter how hard I focus, nothing comes up when I skim through the archive for Luelle’s name.”
This was a problem. All souls were originally supposed to return to the source, a realm even beyond reach of the Celestials for reincarnation, but for some reason that just wasn’t happening this time.
Souls did occasionally lose their way along that journey and eventually become evil spirits, but that kind of thing only happened by coincidence, the mere prospect of it ever occurring for a Celestial spirit like Luelle was simply absurd.
“Well, this is a problem. I’m certain I witnessed Luelle’s soul drifting off just now, but I’ll have to look into this. For now, you shoul-”
Before I could even finish speaking, a strange mechanism appeared in the skies above us.
It was a large white crack, the kind of thing you’d almost exclusively see on a mirror. The sprawling white lines spread across the sky, leaving an ominous screeching sound behind every time they expanded their jagged paths. Each fissure seemed to tear through the fabric of the heavens, revealing glimpses of an otherworldly darkness beyond. As the cracks widened, a sense of foreboding filled the air, suffusing the atmosphere with an eerie tension that seemed to reverberate through every fiber of existence.
“What....is that?” Minera barely managed to mutter those words in astonishment.
Soon after, a litany of white cryptic markings began escaping from the jagged openings, spreading across everything from the skies above to even the waves washing below. The strange symbols glowed with a demeaning white light, emanating a strange kind of energy each time it cast its ethereal glow.
“U-Uhm....Shinigami...do you know what this is?” Minerva asked from beside me, timidly surveying our unusual surroundings.
“No....but you should head back just to be-”
Cutting me off once again, the strange markings etched on to the world itself began emitting bright white sparks like a timid, yet persistent firework display. The sparking lights grew fiercer and fiercer by the second, and before I could even execute my next move, the entire world was seemingly engulfed in a blinding cascade of light. It was as if the very essence of existence had been ignited, and we were just insignificant specks adrift in the vast expanse of creation.
Before my vision was completely overpowered by the tormenting flash, I saw Minerva extend a hand towards me with tears flowing from her eyes. I wasn’t able to hear the words that escaped her, but for a second it looked like she was calling out to me.
Apparently, even Celestials found solace in my presence at the end.
The world was divided into three realms. The first of these was the lower realm that the humans inhabited, we called it ‘Terrania’. It was a land festering with humans, a world where only they were able to dominate and reign supreme - Or at least that’s what they thought anyway.
In reality, that realm had only managed to continue functioning because of the efforts of the beings known as ‘Celestials’. These Celestials resided in a realm that was far above Terrania known as ‘Eden’. They were responsible for overseeing the various aspects of the world these humans inhabited and that just meant that they were in charge of maintaining its balance. If things ever started getting out of hand, then they would intervene to re-establish that balance, but that would only happen if it was absolutely necessary. Though they could influence aspects of the world itself, the Celestials weren’t gods but rather akin to something like a superior version of humanity, the humans of the lower realm often referred to them as ‘angels’.
The only thing in the entire world that came close to mirroring anything even close to that level was the entity known as ‘Akasha’ or the ‘Source.’ It wasn’t an actual person but rather, the mechanism in place that managed the influx of both mortal and Celestial souls accordingly, managing them in a timely manner and allowing them to reincarnate given time.
It resided in an exclusive realm that surpassed both Eden and Terrania. Akasha was the recycling mechanism put in place to cleanse and return souls to the mortal cycle. Every time a human died, their souls would naturally return to Akasha over a number of years given that they hadn’t become an evil spirit or deviated from the natural order in some other way. That’s why even as a Reaper, I didn’t actually need to guide the souls of every single mortal that had perished, but rather just the ones still clinging on to the mortal realm or those that had deviated from the natural order.
Seeing as only pure souls could pass between the realms without restrictions, very few Celestials had ever gone directly to Akasha, but just about anyone who wasn’t mortal could detect its overwhelming essence radiating from some far-off place. The same went for me and I was neither mortal nor a Celestial.
That was how it had been, the way in which the world managed to maintain some amount of balance even without outside intervention, but the moment I saw those strange cracks appear in the sky I could already tell that the fragile balance keeping this world afloat was beginning to crumble.

If you don't know, Andrew Tate is not really a good person. He's a former MMA fighter, and grew a large fan base. But if you've seen the news, he's been arrested for trafficking, has several allegations of rape behind him, blatantly misogynistic online and enourages boys to follow his footsteps. He also runs a scam university on discord promising he will make people rich. I wouldn't be surprised if he said the earth was flat and boys rushed to support his idea. You could say he's grooming boys in this case. The comments might get spammed with Tate supporters.
So let's go over to Jeremy Clarkson. If you don't know who he is, he's a British TV presenter that hosted Top Gear, The Grand Tour, Who wants to be a Millionaire, and now his own show Clarkson's Farm. He also has a large fanbase. He is also controversial, such he's had to apologise many times for offensive comments and an incident where he punched a producer that got him sacked from Top Gear. But let's be real, his controversies make him human. He isn't evil or inherently bad. He has his own beer company Hawkstone (which is amazing btw). Clarkson also isn't the sharpest tool in the shed so to speak, with some of his ideas not being the most practical. But he has a heart, he is a hardworking individual and right now he has done so much in terms of showing the world the hardships farmers are facing.
To sum, if you follow Andrew Tate, your ideals are

• Misogyny
• Being scammed
• Believing false science and misinformation cuz he said so
• Being groomed to be an idiot
• If you're not rich you're a failure in life.

If you follow Jeremy Clarkson, your ideals become

• No matter your IQ, if you have great ideas, you'll find success
• All ideas are good ideas on paper, until you actually implement them
• Life is unfair but don't let it stop you from trying
• Having a heart is the most important thing
• Speed and power

Be more like Clarkson. While I will say dont do everything he does (he even admits he can be an idiot), his core principles are far far better than Tate's. If you are a die hard Tate supporter, please rethink your position.

Episode 10 has ended, and with it the continuation of the series into season 2 looks to be extremely promising as the show has been able to take liberties with its story and improved on it.
Without going into spoilers for those who haven’t watched the final episode. This does present the MCU with an issue which will be the expectations of what a proper X Men project should look like.
Much of the Fox movies were decent at best besides a handful like Days of Future Past, but given what we have here. It just pales in comparison to what we’ve seen so far and that’s something I never thought I’d say.
The movies pushed Wolverine so much that they lacked any proper spotlight on the rest of the X Men. The X Men are far more than just Logan and this show has proven that it’s possible to make something that shines that spotlight on every single character.
For those who just saw the finale, the ending itself presents us with a far better depiction of the next big storyline that in my opinion, was not really as exciting as what was expected during the episode.
But by the end of it, it turned out to be far better than expected and the future prospects of it seem far more exciting and that’s all due to how the show has been handled to really make you care for every single character, even the one at the end that had but mere seconds.
The MCU is gonna have to do something special about the X Men and how they affect the larger story at play given how much they’ve shown in this show how they can be perfectly laid out into a diverse world while also giving them their own sense of identity.
That and now they have high expectations of what a perfect X Men project should be like in my opinion.

Ok here's the deal.. and this is 150% TRUTH!! I was shopping at Gabe's clothing store as I got to the VERY back corner of the store to the clearance shoe section, I saw a pocket book sitting in the floor beside the bench where ya try on shoes, so I obviously glance around to look for a woman near by and saw NOBODY. The next thing I did was bend down pick it up and sat it in the front of my buggy right beside my purse, and I then did like I thought any decent person would without hesitation, I turned and started walking to the VERY front of the store where ALL their employees were standing at the registers, which are lined across the front of store. I didn't look shady, I wasn't acting nervous, and was not trying to sprint to the door! I walked normal heck even stopped for a second and looked at a few more items as I walked to the front. I was simply trying to make my way to an employee of Gabe's so i could give them the pocket book and inform them someone had left it back the shoe section probably trying on shoes and sat it in the floor when they sat on that bench I spoke of, and left the purse sitting in the floor. I am seen clear as day on the stores camera doing EXACTLY like I have described to you all. Here's where my world goes all to hell though.. Before I could even get to an employee or the registers, two officers came in and walked straight to me (still don't understand how) and they treated me like a dang criminal not letting me even tell them I was on the way to give it to the employees at the registers, they were very mean and cuffed me right there in front of everyone, then dumped my purse out, for what reason I have no clue, then of course found nothing illegal considering I am not a criminal, and they made me leave the buggy and walked me outside. We got out there and it's dark but i over hear them talking to the owner of the purse that I tried to turn in so nobody would take it. I didn't know this at first because I never looked in her purse but she had like 600.00 and a bunch of change and credit cards. She laid everything on the hood of the car made sure all was there, oh she also had a prescription for xanax in her purse, so she counted them and they were all there. She then looked over at me and thanked me so much and apoligized the cops were doing me like they were. So that alone says I DID NOT STEAL ANYTHING RIGHT? Huh, you would think.. well she got to go home and get out of the cold, while now the cops have me standing at the hood of the police car and they are going through my purse again. WHY!!! The lady just jumped for joy while thanking me for trying to turn her bag in and therefore protecting all her money and meds, so what the hell were they doing that to me again! I had my own money and its ironic but I also had my prescription for xanax. Kinda crazy ya know it lol! Anyway, I had nothing at all illegal and as I have mentioned I STOLE NOTHING AND WOULD YOU NOT THINK THAT THE COPS SHOULD KNOW THAT BY THIS POINT? I was starting to think they would take the cuffs off any minute now, but instead they shove me into the back of the cop car!!! FOR FREAKING WHAT!? I HAD NOT COMMITTED A DANG CRIME OR EVEN CAME CLOSE TO BREAKING THE LAW!!! Of course I start crying not because I am sad or scared but I was PISSED AT THAT POINT! To make it even worse, I had my 22 year old applehead chihuahua with me and I begged them to let him just sit there for like 15 min max it was Oct. so not too hot, and my fiance was going to hurry and pick him up with my car, they would not even do that for me.Instead they took him to the freaking pound!!! And even when I bonded out I had to leave my baby in there all night long. Just don't forget, I HAD NOT BROKEN A SINGLE LAW AND WAS PUT THROUGH ALL THIS CRAP! So to shorten this up sorry my fiance had to leave his job and spend 300 bucks to bond me out from being arrested for what!!! Hell the bondsman didn't know why i was even there! They left me sitting in booking probably because it was all bs, and made no sense! I had never ever been in any trouble my whole life. I just finished the medical billing and coding program through Penn Foster, and I was sick when I finally found out what they were trying to charge me with.. THEFT UNDER 1000.00 AND SIMPLE POSSESSION/CASUAL EXCHANGE!!!! Is that not so messed up? I didn't steal anything so how the hell can they do this to me and a dang drug charge! I AM BEING CHARGED WITH THE POSSESSION FOR THE PRESCRIPTION THE STRANGER LADY HAD IN HER FREAKING PURSE WTF and IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW CASUAL EXCHANGE IS A DRUG DEAL!!! HOW THE HELL IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? So now we are out the 300 bucks, 2500.00 for a lawyer that has not talked to me once outside of court, and court costs that will be outrageous! WHAT REALLY RIPS MY HEART OUT IS IF I CAN'T BEAT THESE BOGUS CHARGES ON JUNE 10 IT WILL SCREW ME OUT OF MY BRAND NEW CAREER THAT WAS ABOUT TO START. I WON'T GET A JOB IN THE MEDICAL FIELD WITH A THEFT AND DRUG CHARGE. This is all true not blown out of proportion at all and it is so unfair. My step dad is a cop in that county and my mother works for the sheriff himself who is best friends with my step dad and they don't like me and make my life hard every chance they can. So of course mother got into my business which should not be allowed and ran straight to my son, who I had finally started rebuilding a relationship with which made her mad, she told him I stole from someone and made a drug deal so he has not spoken to me since october and will not let me come to my only childs graduation this year and get to see my baby boy walk across the stage all because my mother ran her mouth to my child. I need advice on if and how I can maybe sue them for defamation or slander and get order of protection because this has went on for over ten years with her. She has broken laws etc and used the fact that step dad is a cop and they have went on motorcycle rides to Sturgis etc with the one and only judge who happens to be over EVERY case I have went through because of them. They took my little girl before we were even discharged from the hospital and she forged my name on the birth certificate. I can go on for days and have paper documents to prove every single thing I just don't know what to do about it. Most importantly I NEED HELP OR ADVICE VERY BADLY ABOUT THE POLICE TRYING TO STICK ME WITH COMPLETELY BULL CRAP CHARGES THAT WILL END MY CAREER BEFORE I EVEN GET TO BEGIN AND ALL THE HARD WORK IN SCHOOL WILL BE FOR NOTHING. I AM ALL TO HELL. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME
S

This may not be appropriate for this subreddit, wasn't sure if I should post on UK housing instead.
M, 26, work remotely. Employer is happy for me to work anywhere in the world assuming I am able to get back to the office once a month.
Looking to move to somewhere in Europe at the beginning of next year; probably January. Looking at Spain, Romania or Latvia but not sure how relevant that is here.
There's a separate question about whether or not I should move at all given the higher tax burden in nearly every European country; I'd be £400-£800 worse off each month purely from higher taxes.
I don't know if this will be a permanent move; if I ever moved jobs I would imagine the list of companies that would be happy for me to work from abroad is quite small. My current company is happy for me to do it indefinitely but that of course can change.
I own a flat valued at £180k that was purchased in mid-2022; I have a fixed interest rate until May 2025 at which point there will be ~£150k left on the mortgage. I also paid £180K for it so I shouldn't lose much, if anything.
I'd have to get a consent to let to fill in the gap from Jan '25 to May '25 if I did decide to let which may require me to increase my deposit.
Have about £20k in an ISA and £15k easy-access currently. No debts.
My options seem to be:

• Sell the property.
• Rent the property out using an agent to manage.
• Short-term lets e.g. AirBnB.

Option A would be the least ongoing hassle but it means that if I did move back to the UK I'd no longer be on the property ladder.
Option B wouldn't generate any profit (based on agencies fees, tax and the expected level of the mortgage I would break even at best every month) but I would still own property which may appreciate.
Option C seems quite difficult and I'm only considering it because it was recommended to me; there would be a lot of variability in guests and my profit/revenue.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.

First Prev [Next]

Chapter 15: For What You’ve Tamed
“We’ve come a long way, Vikri. Let’s finish your story,” Rayner said as he sat down in the same chair, crossing his legs in the same way.; small consistencies that made the task of talking about my past seem a little more routine. “I understand you lost someone important to you that day.”
I shifted slightly where I sat. “Yeah,” I answered coarsely. I grabbed at the poncho hanging over my shoulders. I remembered what it felt like in my dreams. Radiant warmth always seemed to emanate from it. Not necessarily the poncho itself, but Tenga’s memory. I realized that as long as I had those, then he was still here in a way. I’d much rather have him here than his memory though.
Rayner nodded. “I know what that’s like,” he said in a near whisper.
I shook my head. “It’s not just that I lost him. I…I failed,” I rasped. “I could’ve saved him. Maybe if I’d gone back I could’ve gotten the equipment before the fire did. I was too afraid.”
Rayner nodded slowly. “And now you feel responsible.”
I remained silent as I clutched my tail on the couch beside me. Rayner already knew the answer. He pursed his lips. “Yeah…I know exactly how that feels.”
I looked up at him. For the first time, his eyes weren’t on me, but on the adjacent wall as he seemed to ponder something. “You think about all the things you could have done differently. Things that are so obvious in hindsight,” he sighed and adjusted his glasses. “If only it were that clear in the moment.” He looked up at me, clasping his hands together. “So walk me through what happened.”
I could still vividly remember the moment Tenga got shot. Everything happened in the blink of an eye. So quickly in fact, that it even took Tenga a moment to realize there was a hole in his torso. Minutes of continuous tension shattered with a hail of gunfire lasting less than a second. The echoes continued to howl through the mountains long after the bodies met the snow. My friend was fatally wounded, the snow around him dyed bright red with his blood. And I had to leave him.
The entire time I was in the belly of the federation destroyer with danger lurking around every corner, all I wanted to do was to get this done as quickly as possible and get back to him. I was enraged that they’d done this to him and to billions just like him.
“Tenga was all I thought about the entire time,” I croaked. “And I…I was willing to kill everyone onboard to get back to him, even if there was no way I ever could. I… did things I could never have imagined myself doing even just days ago. I tore a chunk out of my leg just to be able to get to the Krakotl pinning me down with a crowbar.” I inhaled deeply, staring down at my reflection in the water, recalling my bloodshot eyes in the reflection of the ship's monitor. The grimly colorful bloodstains in my fur from several different species.
Rayner nodded. “It was a desperate situation. Many don’t see themselves doing things like that until they’re put in a situation where it's necessary. A situation where it's do or die. No one can fault you for that, especially not with all that depended on you.”
“I guess I just…It’s just worrying knowing that there’s a part of me capable of that.”
The doctor tapped his pen on his notepad as he seemed to think for a moment. “Do you worry that you may have violent outbursts?”
I scoffed. “Well, the events of a few days ago provided good grounds for worry.”
Rayner nodded. “Aggression is common for PTSD victims. It can be difficult to manage intense emotions when your mind is already dealing with so much.
I shook my head. “That’s not the person I want to be.”
Rayner nodded. “I know Vikri. That’s why it's so crucial for you to talk about this stuff. The less all of this weighs on you, the better you’ll be able to control those emotions when they arise.”
He finished writing on his notepad before taking off his glasses and leaning forward slightly. “So what happened to Tenga?”
The question made my heart sink. My mind went quiet. The second hand of time sounded like the footsteps of a giant marching toward…something. My body seemed to go cold and numb. “He died…” I croaked, staring down at the table. That was the first time I’d admitted that to myself verbally in such a direct way. “And I tried so hard,” I choked, tears now streaming down my face. “I did everything in my power to save him. I even put Querek’s life in danger.”
I felt the heat. I could feel cold water dripping from my paws as the burning ship melted the frost accumulating in my fur. I remembered the terrifying hopelessness that gripped me as I gripped Querek and pushed him into the snow. He tried to sacrifice himself for Tenga. What if I had let him? Would it have even worked? Could Tenga accept that?
I recalled the story to Rayner, battling to keep my composure. “I…I watched him die,” I choked. “And I was furious. Reese had to pull me off of him. I wanted to do…something, anything, but…he told them not to bring him back. I think he…” I winced at the thought of him considering this. “I think he’d rather have died sacrificing himself over…going rabid.”
Silence perforated the room for what felt like several long minutes. Rayner sat with his legs crossed, his hand propped up against his mouth. He seemed to become lost in thought for a moment before speaking. “I know how that guilt feels,” he admitted quietly.
I looked at him, somewhat surprised. “You do?”
Rayner nodded, rubbing his hands together. “My son,” he said plainly, taking a long pause before he continued. “He and Jesse were very close as kids. Practically brothers.” He tapped on his clipboard with his pen. “I was…not so available in those days. I was a very different man than I am now. I was still in school. I was always busy, always stressed. I hadn't even considered becoming a therapist. I was deadset on becoming a neurosurgeon.” He scoffed at himself, his head gently shaking back and forth as his gaze grew distant. His delivery lacked that matter-of-fact candor I was so used to by now. He was much quieter; less animated. His eye contact was sporadic and he never stopped fidgeting with his pen. Everything about him seemed suddenly mired in an emotion that was difficult to read. That was when I saw everything we'd done over the past few days for what it really was. Rayner wasn't invincible. He never claimed to be. He was hurt; I could hear it in his voice. He wasn't a person reaching down into the mud and yanking me out by the nape of the neck. He was man covered in mud himself. He wasn't an untouchable hero. Merely a guide.
He continued as that realization struck me. “I loved him as much as a father could. But I was so busy that…well I wasn't there as much as I'd like to have been. That put a big strain on our relationship.” He removed his glasses and wiped the lenses a few times before he continued. “One night we got into an argument. He’d just gotten his license. He had an old beat-up car I'd bought him for his birthday,” he chuffed. “A teen’s first car is always…eccentric. Thought it was a great deal at the time.” He sighed and nodded slightly before continuing. “He left the house enraged, speeding down the road. After a few miles, he lost control, swerved off the road, and hit a tree head-on. The airbag never deployed. The car crumpled like a soda can.”
I stared at him, speechless as he concluded in a near-whisper. “He was declared dead at the scene.”
The room felt hollow for a few long seconds. I searched for a reply but couldn't fathom the right words to say. Fortunately, Rayner didn't stay silent for long. “Like you, I blamed myself for a long…long time.” He sighed. “And it nearly destroyed me.”
I stared at the floor, fidgeting with my tail. “How did you…overcome that?”
“Well it didn't happen overnight,” he replied, flashing a brief smile. “It takes time but, at some point, you have to carry on living. You have to continue loving.” His eyes creased slightly as he looked down at his own hands. “You have to keep loving,” he repeated in a low whisper.
Loud silence claimed the room again as his words sank in. He was right. It was either accept what happened or live like this forever. Looking at it that pragmatically, the choice seemed easy. Emotions are never so logical though. It wasn’t as if he relieved himself of that burden either, it was obvious he still carried it. It just…didn’t weigh as much now. Not because it got lighter, but because he got stronger. I eased into speaking again. “I…I'm sorry. About your son.”
Rayner nodded. “I'm sorry about your friend.”
We both stewed in silence for a minute before Rayner spoke up. “We’ll send you home today.”
“You…really think I’m ready?”
Rayner nodded slowly. “I think so. The medication seems to be working, you haven’t had any breakdowns since you’ve been here. You’ve gotten much better at discussing these things. I think you’re equipped to face this now.”
“...I’m afraid,” I croaked.
“Of what?” Rayner asked, leaning forward
“Of…seeing Lucky again. I'm doubting whether I even should. I was never prepared to be her master. I’m just a danger to her.”
“Vikri,” Rayner exhaled and leaned forward. “You made a mistake. We all do. But you have a responsibility to her. You should at least see her and face that mistake, or you’ll never have closure. What you decide after that is your choice, but I don’t think it’ll be as bad as you think.”
“I hope so,” I sighed.
Rayner clicked his pen and set his notepad aside. “We’ve made you some medication to take home, same stuff you've been taking. The plan is to keep lowering the dosage until you’re sleeping without it. We’ve made you some sheets with all the daily doses on them and when to take each one. It’s enough to last you two weeks, then once they’re out, you’ll come back here for another session, then if you need it, we’ll get you more and keep weaning you off them.”
He leaned forward, emphasizing his next words. “And I cannot recommend enough that you go to Jesse’s support group in between our meetings. Those will help you tremendously, I’m sure of it.”
I nodded. “I have his number. I’ll…I’ll give it a shot.”
“You won't regret it,” Rayner assured me. “Jesse was in the same chair as you not too long ago for similar reasons. He has knowledge from first-hand experience. I can vouch for him, he’s a great guy.” He inhaled. “Well, is there anything else Vikri? We won’t be seeing each other again for a while, so if there’s anything else, now’s the time to talk about it.”
I thought for a second. We’d covered almost everything. I’d never discussed those days in so much detail. It felt like being submerged in icy water. It was miserable at first, but over time it became easier, even comfortable. I’d relived so much pain over the last three days, but here at the end of the whole story, It felt less like a nightmare, and more like reality. “No, I don’t think so,” I finally replied.
“Then I’ll clear you to go home. Andrea is here, she’ll give you a ride, I’m sure. Here.” He reached over and handed me a small business card. “That has all my contact information on it. I’m usually here in my office until late at night, so feel free to call if you need anything. If the sedative gives you any issues at all, any side effects, make sure to call and let me know. We followed the recipe to a tee, but it’s wise to be cautious.”
A familiar silence flooded the room as Rayner and I seemed to, for the first time, have nothing left to say. Finally, the doctor spoke. “See you in two weeks, Vikri.”
///////////////////////////////
Golden strands of light danced between the digits of my paw as I moved it in front of the brilliant summer sun. An intense beacon of warmth floating in a sky as blue as Earth’s oceans. The rumble of Andy’s car occupied the air as we cruised down the highway. Vivri was sound asleep in the backseat. The gentle white noise and vibration seemed to knock her out cold. I watched the sunrays dance as I waved my paw in front of me, before turning it around. Several spots on my paw still had obvious scars. I even still had burn scars from the electrical systems aboard the crumbling Cardinal.
I curled my paw closed into a fist and rested my head against it, watching the lush, green mountains pass by in the distance. After three days I was set loose into the world once again, hopefully better armed than I was before. Even after all the weight I doffed from my shoulders in Rayner’s office, a crushing mass still rested on my chest. Lucky.
The weight only became heavier as the car slowed, and rounded a corner into the parking lot of a large animal hospital. Andy gently brought the car to a stop in a parking space in front of the entrance. Occasionally people would walk in and out with their pets, many of which were dogs on leashes.
Vivri stirred awake after we stopped. “Oh…We’re here,” she muttered nervously. “There’s…a lot more animals here than I was expecting.”
Andy chuckled. “It’s an animal hospital girl, there’s gonna be all kinds of critters here.”
I turned around to face her. “You don’t have to go in there. You and Andy can wait here.”
Andy scoffed. “You might wanna tell Rayner they screwed up those meds, ‘cause you’re delusional if you think I’m letting you go in there by yourself.”
“Well I don’t want her to be alone out here,” I argued.
“I’ll go in, just…stay close, please?” Vivri interjected.
I looked back at her, ears tilted. She was dead serious. I sighed and shook my head. “This is gonna be a disaster,” I groaned.
Andy opened her door. “I’ll wait with her in the lobby, you go talk to the vets. It’ll be fine.”
I looked back at Vivri one last time as Andy stepped out. “Alright, just stay away from the cats.” I opened my door and began stepping out into the summer air.
“C-cats?”
“Small felines. They're demons with mind control,” I replied just before closing the door.
Vivri scrambled out of the car and followed right on my heels. “Well don’t just leave me!” she squeaked.
I laughed. “I’m kidding. Well, mostly.”
Walking into the building, I realized that Lucky had been in a very similar place as me over the past three days. The lobby felt eerily similar to the one at the medical center. Everything went silent as Vivri and I walked in. Immediately I could feel dozens of eyes on us. Vivri hid close behind me as Andy gestured for me to follow her to the desk.
I doubted any of the humans there meant any harm, but dozens of binocular eyes snapping onto her in an instant had Vivri more unsettled than she already was. It didn’t help that several dogs were either on leashes or in carriers in the lobby, which were no doubt just as curious. I grabbed Viv’s paw. “They don't see many Venlil,” I whispered. “Just ignore them.”
I approached the desk with Vivri still hiding behind me. “E-excuse me?” I stuttered. The woman at the desk looked up, clearly caught off guard by two venlil standing before her. “O-oh! Excuse me, you must be Lucky’s owner, right?”
“Yeah. Vikri.” I could feel Vivri shivering behind me.
“I’ll let Doctor Gavin know you’re here.”
“Thanks,” I muttered before turning to Vivri. “Are you sure about this?” I whispered.
“Of course! It’s just for a few minutes, right?” Her body language gave an entirely different answer. She seemed like she might faint at any moment.
I looked up at Andy. “Keep her close, would you?”
Andy wrapped her arms over Viv’s shoulders. “Of course. I’ll keep little Vivi safe from all the big, bad puppy dogs and mean kitties,” she said in baby speak, twisting her side to side. She giggled. “We’ll be fine.” Her tone suddenly shifted as she locked eyes with me. “Will you?”
I stood there in silence for a moment. This entire time my heart felt unbearably heavy. Standing there, I felt nauseous. So much so that I made it a point to know exactly where the bathroom was when I walked in. The weight on my chest made breathing a laborious task. I heaved in a deep breath. “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I don’t know what’s going to happen in there but…I have to do this. For both of us.”
Andy exhaled and nodded, seemingly just as nervous for me. Right on cue, the door at the back of the room opened with a heavy click. “Vikri?” a male voice called out. An older gentleman in burgundy scrubs surveyed the room. It didn’t take long for him to find me. He nodded toward me as he adjusted his glasses. “Right this way, please.”
“We’ll be right here,” Andy whispered, her hands still resting around Viv’s shoulders, who agreed with a tail flick.
I nodded and walked toward the man, leaving the cozy waiting room behind, and entering a long, sterile hallway. The doctor’s shoes clicked against the tile as he walked just in front of me. The weight bearing down on my chest only got heavier with each step. After a few agonizing seconds, the man finally spoke up as he stopped outside a door. “I’m Doctor Gavin,” he said breathily, extending a hand. “I performed Lucky’s surgery.”
I took his hand with my paw, which he could no doubt tell was trembling by this point. “Vikri,” I choked. “S-so…How is she?”
“She’s good,” Gavin answered in a higher pitch. “She’s recovering remarkably fast. Really lived up to her name.” He opened the door and stepped through into a kennel area as he continued. “The bullet hit one of her ribs and shattered. A couple of fragments pierced her lung, one of them was just inches from her heart. There’re still a few very small ones lodged in her tissue, but we’d be doing more harm than good by trying to remove them. They shouldn’t cause any issues and come out on their own after some time, but we’ll keep track of them with x-rays.”
As he spoke we passed by kennels, some empty, some with dogs that barked or jumped up on the cage as we passed. I scoured each one for Lucky, my dread building with each one we passed. Suddenly, the doctor stopped in front of me. He inhaled deeply. “I should mention…Given the…circumstances of how she got these injuries, me and some staff will stay with you just in case she becomes aggressive. That’s not to say that I think she will,” he added hastily, “she’s been great with everyone here but…you know, just to be safe.”
“I get it,” I breathed. It made sense. If Lucky attacked me, it would be far more deadly than it would be for a human. And I was confident even a human wouldn’t last long against a half-wolf her size. Fittingly, a group of four humans were gathered at the end of the hallway, catchers in hand.
Time seemed to slow as I approached the pen. The staff members all looked over at me with the same anxious expression. I felt like a prisoner walking toward my judgment, and that perhaps it was me that belonged behind these cages. I swallowed and took a long, slow breath as Gavin opened the gate. He walked in ahead of me. “Hey there big girl,” he said in a chipper tone. I heard the familiar thumping of Lucky’s tail against the floor. Gavin chuckled to himself as the remaining four staff calmly and quietly filed into the pen. Once they were all inside, the final human leaned around the corner, looked me in the eyes for a long second, and nodded once.
A new reality awaited around that corner. My sentence was about to be read. It felt so cripplingly helpless; wanting so desperately to finally be reunited with my best friend, yet trembling at the thought of rounding a corner to run face-first into the consequences of my actions. I steeled myself one last time. I nodded back at the catcher and took slow, deliberate steps toward him. I finally rounded the corner, and for the first time since the incident, I saw Lucky.
She lay on a large, fabric bed, with food and water bowls close by. Her right front leg was bound in a cast, tied up close to her body. A large patch of fur had been shaved away around her chest and halfway up her neck. She seemed thinner than I remembered. It reminded me of the scared, hungry pup I’d met so long ago.
Her eyes tracked onto mine instantly, and I felt an ache that defied all imagination. The same gaze that would send almost any other Venlil scrambling down the hallway instead gripped some inner part of me in a cold, numb stasis. I couldn’t move. Part of me wanted to run to her and spill out how sorry I was. Another wanted to curl up on the floor right there and sob, returning to that familiar numbness that seemed akin to the ancient enemy of life itself. The cold. That bitterness that pierced through fur, through flesh, through bones, and any ideal held by the naive child that sat next to Tenga’s corpse that day. It ran through until there was nothing left.
Then, I felt a warmth as if someone had draped a blanket over me. I gripped my poncho around my shoulders, grabbing it tightly. I made a quiet promise to myself there and then. Not a promise to my sister, or my parents, or Andrea. Me. I wouldn’t lie down in the cold. Never again. One more hill.
“Hey Lucky,” I said, my voice coarse and breaking every syllable.
The silence was abruptly broken as Lucky, though seemingly frail, shot to her feet. Everyone in the room shifted, prepared for the worst. I didn’t dare move, but I could feel my heart pounding in my legs, my body preparing to bolt. The staff watched her carefully, their grip slightly tightened around their polls. Lucky made no sounds, only stared at me, her nostrils flaring as she gathered my scent. Her right front leg was useless, immobilized against her body. She shifted her footing to steady herself. Then I saw something that replaced fear with tears. She was shaking like a leaf, never taking her eyes off me. She could care less about the others. She was scared. Of me.
I felt myself fall off a ledge in a sensation I’d become all too familiar with over the last few weeks. Tears streamed down my face, my breath hitching as I brought my paws up to my face. I fell to my knees, the presence of the staff had become irrelevant. “I’m…I’m sorry,” I exhaled between gasps. “I’m so sorry.”
So there it was. My new reality. It wasn’t what I’d hoped for, but it was what I expected. I didn’t know what I’d do then, and I didn’t know now. Could I go on without Lucky? She was the one fortress in the turbulent seas of my broken mind. She was the one I could always count on. The one that I knew would always be there, no matter what. Now I was convinced she was terrified of me.
I sat there a shattered mess for a long moment, tumbling off that cliff and reaching out for anything to catch myself, but found nothing but jagged stones. I felt a hand on my shoulder, Doctor Gavin attempting to comfort me, I assumed. Until I felt something touch my knee. I looked up, thrown out of the spiral abruptly. Lucky was now just in front of me, licking my leg. I froze, confused. She gently laid down, careful of her bandaged leg as she rested her head on my leg, looking up at me. That was the same leg she’d broken months ago. Finally, I got it. “I hurt you, and you still loved me.”
A wave of relief rushed through me and I looked down at her, eyes glossy with tears. I bent down and rested my head against hers. I laughed, though it sounded more like a sob. For the first time in days, I felt whole again.
Lucky still loved me.
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Hello, im looking to switch to a samsung phone. I love the flat display and feel of the S24U but from what I’ve seen of the screen grain pics it looks so bad in comparison to S23U. Is this a common thing? I can’t risk buying an expensive phone only for its display to be grainy. That’s the only worry I have and that’s making me go for the S23U. Opinions?

Hi everyone!
I'm a pretty experienced scooter rider. My first one was a Yadea KS5 Pro. I didn't research different models at all, and I got that one because it was offered to me for next to nothing. I wasn't sure I'd even like using a scooter in the first place, but it soon became my preferred way to get around town when it's just me and not the rest of my family.
After three years of frequent use I'm looking for recommendations for a new scooter. On a recent trip it started making a bit more noise than usual and couldn't quite get up to speed. The noise and speed both got worse on the return trip and I barely made it home. I think I might have burned out the motor? It already had other problems (including the rear fender broke off about a year ago so it was useless on wet pavement unless I wanted to completely soak the back of my pants), so I'm really looking to move on to a new machine rather than seek a repair.
What I'm looking for, based on experience with the previous scooter:

• Top speed of 20-25 MPH on flat ground. Few streets in my city (Seattle) have speed limits higher than 25 MPH, and I have little need or desire for anything faster than that.
• Decent performance on hills. We have quite a few hills in town. It doesn't necessarily need to go uphill at full speed, but if I never have to supply power from my feet to keep it going faster than a walking pace (as was often needed with my first scooter) that would be great.
• Capable of carrying a 200 lb human plus a full backpack of groceries or other things (let's say up to 50 lbs, but usually less than this).
• Real-world range of at least 20 miles while carrying that 200 lb human on routes that include some hills.
• Durable construction. I want to be able to use it for several years without any important plastic bits breaking off. Ease of obtaining spare parts as needed would be a plus.
• Would be nice to be relatively inexpensive, but cost is not the top concern.

Thanks in advance for recommendations! Anti-recommendations would also be useful.

It was late November 2015. I was 51 and one year past my divorce (which was not related to cheating) when I became so disgusted with myself that I knew I had to pick myself up. I was alone for the long holiday, and although I wasn't really sad or lonely, I felt empty. However, I had some extra time to consider how does one picks oneself up.
I made a list of potential New Year resolutions that were individually realistic. Some were really easy and stupid like “have your chipped front tooth fixed” and “take & post a selfie”. These smaller tasks fueled my confidence and provided the energy boosts needed to tackle the more challenging resolutions, like starting a weight loss challenge at work.
Skip ahead to March 4th 2016. I had a Friday lunch date with a married client that I met two weeks prior. Of course, it was not a real date, as I wouldn't impose myself on a married woman, nor would I risk my career or my ego, especially if the signals she seemed to be sending were just a product of my wishful thinking, stimulated by checking off some boxes on the list on the fridge dated 1/1/16.
The following is my thank you note to her for a great date as well as for helping me check a lot of boxes over the past few weeks. I sent her a link to it as it is in the form of my first ever online post (one more check box, YAY!).
************************************** We were only 1 minute in the hotel room; her jeans in a ball on the floor. She sat at the foot of the king sized bed and backed her way into the stack of oversized pillows lining the headboard. I followed as If attached by a leash. I landed somewhat awkwardly on my elbows between her legs finding myself squarely face to face with the tattoo. This tattoo, that she so shamelessly revealed just a week ago, the same tattoo that has been scorching my thoughts and the same tattoo that she promised me complete and unlimited access.
It’s been a long time since I have been here or anywhere near as nice as here, between the legs of a beautiful woman 20 years younger and far out of my league....even when I was her age. I took a second to drink in my fortunate situation. I admired her panties. All day I was so hoping she would wear those same panties as before. She didn’t. These were different but similar enough. The delicate lace and silk perfectly framed the tattoo on her hip. She did not disappoint. There is a fruity jasmine scent, intoxicatingly pleasant, and oh so subtle. It is not here. I’ll need to find its source. I want more of that. (I remember being thoroughly impressed and thinking to myself “This girl is good”.)
I briefly forgot that there was someone else here besides myself and the tattoo. How long have I been down here perving out on her? I wondered. I hesitated, and then apologetically looked up half expecting a well-deserved snarky glare. What I found instead was an ear to ear compassionate smile followed by a tilt of her head and an arch of her eyebrow that said “I like that you like that, carry on”.
With confidence restored that we were still in sync, I adjusted myself so that I was in a good position to thoroughly enjoy what I came to do. I kissed the tattoo hard and gave it a good lick. The challenge for today was “Taste the Tattoo” and I won. I did a small celebration gesture that she rolled her eyes to. I continued to kiss and taste all around until every freckle got some personal attention. As I got to the upper most reaches of her inner thighs, I looked up to check in as I was about to cross a new line. For the first time she was not looking back at me but had laid her head back deep into the pillows, her eyes closed. I took that as a yes!
I marveled at the softness of her inner thighs on my cheeks as I gently placed kisses up one and down the other. As I kissed her through her panties, her hips responded by arching her up in anticipation of each next kiss. Before long, those wonderful panties were just getting in the way. I stopped and pondered whether to just slide them aside or remove them or to risk interrupting the mood and attempt a complete wardrobe removal as we were both still fully dressed except for her jeans.
I didn’t have to ponder long as she knew what she wanted and it was not any of the options I was considering. Still lying back with her head semi submerged within the pillows, she held out her arms as if gesturing for a hug. I moved up her body and when I got close enough she pulled me in for a kiss.
Unbelievably, this was our first kiss. I found it odd that we had not kissed yet and was grateful she thought to stop for a moment to have a kiss. We kissed some and then I settled in to thoroughly enjoy it. However, the kiss to come was not the kiss I was expecting or a kiss I was ready for. It was a kiss that could ruin everything.
Technically, there was one kiss before. It was an awkward kiss 5-10 minutes earlier just after we entered the room. All in about the time it took for the hotel door to close behind us, she tossed her bag on the sofa, had her jewelry off and set on the nightstand while I emptied my pockets and silenced my phone.
We approached each other, and as we met I was looking at the place where the tattoo would be under her shirt and behind her jeans. They were higher cut and could not be pulled down that far to get to the tattoo. They would have to come off. To just reach in and do that would be an uncharacteristically bold move for me. But I did have unquestionable permission to have the tattoo in any way that I desired. I reached down with both hands and took hold of the waistband on each side of the button. I didn’t see her simultaneous move in at me at first. Just as I felt the metal of the button, I felt her reaching her arms around my neck and realized that she was tip toeing up for a kiss. It caught me unexpectedly and I think it showed on my face that it did. I tried to recover and moved back in to accept her lips on to mine but it turned into an awkward peck.
I scolded myself for the selfish moment and just as I was trying to formulate a recovery gesture, she, without missing a beat, gently dismissed my fumble and gracefully restored the momentum. “Oh” she said with surprise in her tone, while looking down at my fingers ready to release her button. Then, in a more playfully quizzical tone, she followed with “I guess you want to get right to THAT then” and she stepped back away from me where I lost grip of her jeans. She replaced my fingers on the button with hers, paused, maybe waiting for me to look up to her eyes, which I finally did, then flashed me a devilishly naughty smile and pulled her jeans down to the top of her boots. She then proudly announced, mostly to herself, “You really are going to let me have fun with you, aren’t you!” seemingly shedding any doubts in her mind that I would go through with this. She then sat at the foot of the all white linen king sized bed, removed her boots and jeans and backed her way into the stack of oversized pillows lining the headboard.
Back to our kiss. The kiss that from now on I will reflect on as our first kiss
Responding to her hug gesture, I moved up her body and when I got close enough she pulled me in for a kiss. I didn’t flub it this time, but again, I didn’t know it was coming, and prolly I should have. It took only ten seconds to adjust and synchronize to each other’s kissing form. It was warm and succulent and sweet and was wonderful. I really was surprised at how nice this felt. I don’t recall married kissing being this enjoyable. I remember saying to myself “Damn, this girl can kiss”.
I was on top, in a position that wasn’t going to be comfortable for as long as I wanted this to last, so I backed away to reposition but she held tight indicating she didn’t want me to move. I gestured at the space next to her and she relented. We then settled in facing one another side by side; her smile confirming that this was a nice place. We were hugging and kissing, pulling each other closer and looking into each other’s eyes. Our legs intertwined and our hands were roaming, but not really in a sexual way, more like trying to make as much body contact as possible. I couldn’t get over how I felt so much more familiarity than there was. What I did not recognize at the time was that this was the physical intimacy catching up to match the virtual intimacy we have been sharing online.
Soon the intensity escalated and it was getting very hot very quickly. The intensity and passion that was building was not something I ever expected or planned for. This was the rare kind of making out where accidental hickeys happen and inadvertent “Oh god I love you’s” slip out. Not that either of those was going to happen but my safe, non-committal no emotional strings encounter was getting too hot to not risk introducing emotions into the situation. And that could happen.
At some point I was no longer kissing her lips and mouth but was kissing her.
I broke contact to catch a breath and maybe get some control of the fire. We stopped for a moment to breathe and cool off. She slid herself on top and I rolled over on to my back to accommodate her. She looked at me with eyes that appeared to agree that it was a good time to slow it down. She closed her eyes and she seemed to enjoy that I was rubbing her back with both hands that I slipped up under her shirt. She presented her lips for me to kiss and then her cheek for the same, then neck and ear and lips again. Her long hair had fallen down around us, surrounding our faces like a vail creating a tiny private and even more intimate space. Inside here it was darker and the temperature and humidity rose quickly. We were breathing each other’s breath between kisses. All of a sudden I noticed that Jasmine was back. Not subtle this time, but deep and fulfilling. I loved it.
This fragrance stuff really works. The next morning just after waking up, I caught an unexpected subtle whiff on my skin under my watch and my heart jumped by 20 beats. Who’d a thunk it possible?
The passion was building again but since I was aware and cautious now, I wanted to enjoy and go with it. I thought I could keep it measured and I did for a while as it does take two. The kissing slowed to half and so did the passion. However, the rest of our bodies started to make up for it and the touching evolved into the sexual. She was still on top of me and my hands were exploring and squeezing on her panty covered butt, then under and in those panties. Her body contact became more targeted as she was now very deliberately mashing her fun stuff all over my fun stuff. The kissing subsided but replaced with the audible accompaniment of her squeaks, moans and quicker breathing timed with her mashing I was no longer in control. The passion was under control but being replaced with something intimately erotic.
I abruptly escaped by gently rolling her over on to her back then getting up and knelling between her legs. I took a moment to catch my breath and wanted to say “That is getting WAY too intimate. Can we get naked and have sex now?” However, I tugged at her panties and said something dorky like “can we take these off now?” Yes, we were still both fully dressed except for her jeans
Since I am the kind of guy who doesn’t kiss and tell, (well, only tells about the kisses) and this is not the forum for it, I am not going to talk about the sexy part over the next 30 minutes. I will tell you that we did finally each get ourselves unceremoniously naked and then the sexy part finishes where it started, with me finishing all over that beautiful tattoo. Of course I did a small celebration gesture that she rolled her eyes to.
*************************************************
Cuddle time. Our snapchats leading up to this encounter were heavy on the anticipation and buildup but didn’t contain a lot of detail about or define what stuff would happen during our “fun” time together.
Me: “Ok then, tomorrow lunchtime, I’m in.”
Her: “OMG Are you saying that you are REALLY going to come here and let me have fun with you?
Me: “I’m REALLY going to come there. I am REALLY going to fully inspect that tattoo, as well as the neighborhood where the tattoo lives.
Her: “I so can’t wait to get my hands on you.”
Me: “WOW….Now that this is real and going to happen, my heart is beating so hard that I am afraid that people can see it through my shirt.”
Her: “You have to tell me, are you being SERIOUS right now? You can’t say this and not show up. It’s OK if you are teasing, but you have to say so that you are now….not tomorrow!!!”
Me: “I am SERIOUS and I PROMISE I will be there. You have gotten to me, BAD. All week with the way we have been talking..err..I mean snapchatting; I can’t get you out of my head. Then today with those tattoo snaps you sent; I can’t get up from my desk. LOL…..NOT kidding NOT teasing.”
Her: “I am BAD, and I like having FUN. I am going to have so much fun with you!!!”
************************************************
The only specific things I recall us acknowledging we would do with our “fun” was tattoo inspection and cuddle time. So as soon as cleanup from sexy time was done we both knew what time it was. For me, as good as the inspection was the cuddle was better. Just as during the sexy time we changed things up and we got to cuddle many ways. We started face to face full contact hugging just like our kissing time with some but less kissing and more being in the moment.
We were still hot (temperature hot now) and sweaty so that didn’t last long. She turned over and we spooned some. I was still craving full body contact but it was still so hot that we had to separate a bit. No contact spooning if you will, with just my one hand caressing her exposed shoulder and arm and hip with an occasional butt cheek squeeze.
It was about that time that we had our first ever personal conversation. On the project there were lots of flirty banter and some personal stories but almost always as part of a group. We had many phone calls and a few project meetings with just us two but never did the conversation get personal. Until now the only personal talks (Chats) we have had have been via Snapchat. I don’t recall who asked the first question of the other, but it was like a dam broke and we started filling in the details of our lives, our feelings and all the things we chatted about.
There was a lot to tell and we were giddy like children (child) best friends re-meeting on the first day of school catching each other up on our summer vacations. At one point she had something compelling to say and faster than a fish out of water she flipped back to facing me so she could gesture with her hand and punctuate through her expression. She landed close. Closer that I think she meant to at first and just a bit awkward I felt. But I was wrong. She didn’t back up an inch. I really couldn’t see her hand but I could feel that she was using it in the 2 to 4 inches of space between our chests. Her face was right into mine. She would lean back or up just an inch when she wanted me to see her eyes or smile or frown for emphasis, then settle back into the pillows with our foreheads or noses or cheeks touching. It was the farthest thing in the world from awkward.
If there was a recurring theme for the day it would be HOT; in every sense and synonym of the word. Again, it was getting too sweaty to remain that close. This time she broke contact to catch a breath and escape the heat. We stopped talking for a moment to breathe and cool off. She sat up, crawled to, and grabbed the (sexy time) clean-up towel that was at the far foot of the bed. She turned around so that she was kneeling facing me as she brought the towel up to her chest to absorb the beads and drips of sweat that had accumulated. As I watched, I again thought of my great fortune to be right here right now feeing what I feel and seeing the beauty before me. She pushed the towel down across her belly button and it fell into her lap.
I observed the soft sunlight reflecting off the white sheets, the white towel, and the white pillows bathed her in perfect light creating just a hint of subtle shadows in all of the right places on her angelic white skin. I started consciously taking photos with my mind. I wanted to capture every nuance and note every detail. I don’t know if I will ever be here again.
I don't recall if my next realization was comprehended in a split second, or if it took ten seconds to develop, but a terrible fear washed over me that for the first time in forever, she was beyond my touch and her next action might be to look for her panties or go jump in the shower. We were after all, deep into the second hour of her hour long lunch.
As I was preparing myself for the pain soon to come, I couldn't understand where it was coming from. I had the BEST DAY EVER, but I felt like an exhausted child who just watched the Disney fireworks finally and knows what that means.
What the hell? What is happening in my head? I don't even know this girl, let alone have feelings for her beyond she made my dick feel good at lunchtime.....and, I guess my ego is healthier since I met her. I have not cheated on my diet since she turned on the flattery the week before. I was sure it had to be somehow manipulative, but I hoped that if only a 5% chance it wasn't AND she liked me AND her mom was single, made it easy to keep my snacking to peas & carrots.
My self esteem has been skyrocketing too, as I have been checking a lot of boxes on my refrigerator. LOL, so many in fact, that I have been adding things to the list after they happened that I didn't dare put on it as they seemed pretty unobtainable just two months before. "Get sent a nude selfie, check. Have the confidence to send one back, check. Take a hottie 32 year old client out to lunch and fuck her brains out, check.
Did I just discover that I like girls who make my self esteem feel good more than I like girls who make my dick feel good?
Shit, that wasn't even on my top ten list. Smart, funny, pretty, Kind, whatever is the opposite of bitchy, fun in bed, boobs and/or an age appropriate figure is always nice, curious, someone you can trust to see you at your worst. Before today, "genuinely being a boost & support of my self esteem" was 10th.
Then BAM. I was hit in the face with the towel. Damn girl, I hope you can handle a spanking because I was just on the verge of making an interpersonal discovery of some importance over here, I thought to myself. I noticed the slightest or possibly mock look of concern on her face as she asks "you're not having any regrets or second thoughts over there are you?". I reflexively replied "Oh god no". Then with some emphasys, I continued "today was incredible. I REALLY needed this and you were PERFECT, thank you".
Again she did not disappoint. She crawled to the top of the bed on the far side and then to me over the pillows and laid down at a 90 angle to me on her stomach parallel to the headboard with her head nearly right on top of mine. She propped herself up a bit on her elbows and we kissed deeply. It was nice.
I made a few attempts to shake my internal drama, get out of my head and get back to my goal of picking my self up after my divorce. Oops, I mean back to pleasing a beautiful woman who clearly was not yet done having her fun with me. The emotional rollercoaster ride over the last hours, days & weeks completely blew out my brains ability to generate or absorb endorphins or whatever happens in a situation like this. Shortly after we had joked around while showering together, kissing goodbye (just like when I kissed my endorphin killing ex wife) and going on back to our separate lives.
I drove the hour or so home, brought my dog to the park and had healthiest and happiest cry I ever had. I don't know what I was feeling or why, but I was feeling again and it brought me much relief and contentedness.
We texted a bit that evening confirming that we each enjoyed our time together and agreeing that we should do that again sometime. The next day, Saturday, her husband took their 5 & 8 year old sons somewhere for the day. We checked in with each other again over text and chatted some about our lunch but the spark or excitement we usually had was not the same.
I reached out again that evening and asked if she was in a place that we could talk on the phone. She resisted but did call me (our first personal phone call). It took her 24 hours to let her cry bubble up. It turns out that our emotional experiences were remarkably similar, albeit from different perspectives.
She much later reveals that she felt emotionally dead for her hubby. She evolved to a bad place where she wanted fuck anyone but her hubby but still fucked him twice a week and had to appear happy to do it, killing her brain chemistry.
We rode the best and worst roller coaster in the world for 6 or 8 months....until the the Cocaine eventually wore off or the unobtainable became obtainable and it wasn't the the same rush for either of us any longer. She was the closest thing to a drug addiction that I ever felt. I never wanted anyone or anything like I wanted her.
My hope is that this story helps one person answer the question "Why the hell would he/she risk giving up their wonderful & loving family for an hour with a douchebag or a skank?"

City center apartments are frequently considered the greatest buy-to-lets, City center apartments are frequently considered the greatest buy-to-lets, but are they still a wise investment? Here, we’ll examine the benefits and drawbacks of this specific property type.

Why City Center Apartments (Can’t) Make Great Investments

Here are the primary factors that have contributed to new city center flats making excellent buy-to-let investments over time:
Are City Center Apartments Still The Best Btl Investments In 2023? 8

• City center apartments are frequently affordable. Apartments in metropolitan areas are frequently less expensive per square foot than comparable homes in suburban areas.
  
• Apartments in the city center frequently have high letting yields. Even though city apartments frequently have higher rentals than suburban homes, the yields can still be higher.
  
• Those that prefer to live in urban areas and have easy access to public transportation, as opposed to commuting, frequently have a high demand for city-center apartments. People frequently rent rather than buy in city centers since they may want to stay there for a while.
  
• In city centers, there are many different renting options. Apartments in the city center can be rented to professionals, roommates, and students. They can also be used as short-term rentals or serviced lodging.
  
• Renting in the city center is a simple buy-to-let venture to own and manage. These may qualify as “hands-free” investments. A managing agent is responsible for the building’s upkeep, common areas, and grounds. (There are typically service fees to pay.)
  
• Investing in a city-center apartment development offers a variety of options. Compared to houses on the resale market, new flats are much simpler to find and purchase. Another scalable investment possibility is new construction. You can purchase one, a few, or several brand-new apartments.
  
• Newly constructed flats in city centers are frequently seen in areas undergoing regeneration and renovation. These neighborhoods frequently receive investments, which can raise property values as the area develops.
  
• More space to build new structures in some city centers, such as old ones. The potential for price growth is good, and any newly available properties may be in high demand. As implied by the name, new-build apartments are brand-new. They are frequently highly well-liked by tenants because they contain the newest amenities and cutting-edge designs. Also, new homes require little to no care in the future, saving investors money on ongoing expenses.
  
• The most energy-efficient properties are typically newly constructed. They are also well-liked by renters due to their cheap operating expenses. The minimal energy efficiency standards for buy-to-let properties should be readily met by investors purchasing brand-new apartments, both now and in the future.
  

Residing Outside of Burbs and Small Towns

Many people who have always wanted to live in a big city eventually give in to its pull and discover themselves in a much more populated and concentrated location than they did in the suburbs.
Although many people prefer to relocate to a city, only some are suited to city living. It goes considerably quicker and significantly differs from life in a small town or the suburbs. Before leaving the suburbs for the big city lights, you must weigh the benefits and drawbacks of living in a major metropolis, as with any place.
Are City Center Apartments Still The Best Btl Investments In 2023? 9
benefits of residing in a city
Although city life has drawbacks, it makes up for them with all it offers. Large cities are important cultural hubs with thriving music and art scenes, a vast range of cuisine, additional attractions like museums, sporting events like ball games and concerts, and a diverse population sharing the urban lifestyle.

The Benefits of Living in a City

1. Meeting New Faces. Everywhere you go, you will meet new people. Nevertheless, in a metropolis, where a variety of people come from all over the world, the experience is different. A city also has a larger population. Thus you will frequently run into new people. It can be energizing and enlightening to meet and converse with new people who have had very diverse life experiences from your own.
2. Activities/ Night Life. You probably know your town very well and have done about everything there is to do if you have lived there for ten or more years. Even if you live in a major city for ten years, you won’t be able to take advantage of everything it has to offer. In a big city, there is always something to do to keep individuals from growing bored with their diverse interests. Most cities provide exciting nightlife, various cuisines to sample, shows of all kinds, museums, landmarks, parks, festivals, sporting events, and more. There are many options in big cities to join the scene if you are a musician, visual artist, or performer.
3. Public Transportation. The public transportation system is a decent alternative to driving your own vehicle and navigating big cities’ traffic and parking issues. You can go where you need to go using trains, subways, buses, taxis, and ride-sharing vehicles in cities. You can avoid the hassle of driving by using one of the many relatively reasonable public transit options, such as the bus or train. In most big cities, it’s possible to live without a car.
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4. Big Events. Major cities host the largest events, including sporting competitions, concerts, festivals, and art openings. You don’t need to make the long commutes to and from the suburbs to attend a concert or a baseball game.
5. Share Experience. The fact that everyone in a large metropolis with millions of residents comes from varied backgrounds and experiences city life similarly can be incredibly reassuring. Large cities are friendlier than most people think, and if you frequent the same spots and engage in the same pursuits, you’ll rapidly meet new individuals who share your interests and likely move there for similar reasons to yours.
7. Free Activities. There are numerous free things to do when planned effectively, even if many activities are normally more expensive due to the greater overhead costs. You can spend the entire day keeping occupied for free by going to the park, window shopping, touring museums on free days, and taking in the sights downtown. Even though you won’t be spending any money, you will undoubtedly spend time at these breathtaking locations and maximize your urban experience.
Are City Center Apartments Still The Best Btl Investments In 2023? 11
8. Higher Salary. Employers are typically prepared to pay extra despite the high cost of living in the city. This is why many suburban residents commute into the city for a better wage while still taking advantage of the low cost of living.
9. More Jobs Available. Companies dominate city towers, so going without a job is difficult. However, locating one that pays your high rent could be challenging. But a city with many businesses also has many job prospects. You’re likely to find one you adore. According to statistics, those who live in major cities have access to more job prospects than those who live in the suburbs or smaller towns.
10. Close to Restaurants. In cities, there is always a need for fine dining. Within a mile or two, you can find a cuisine you appreciate, from fast food franchises to fine dining restos.
Although the city’s dining cost is typically greater due to increased rent, many restaurants offer lunch and supper deals and have food vendors available. You’ll need to research to take advantage of the best bargains.

The Disadvantages of Living in a City

Those who frequently travel to or work in a big city are aware of how troublesome they may be. Large cities might be more challenging to navigate because of the increased population, traffic, and neighborhood density. The biggest drawbacks of living in a big metropolis are as follows:
1. High Cost of Living. When people consider moving to a city, the increased cost of living is usually the first drawback they consider. Ordinary living costs like rent and utilities tend to be higher in big cities, and you can have additional costs like parking permits and laundry that you wouldn’t have in the suburbs. Major cities also have higher prices for gasoline, alcohol, food, and tobacco items.
2. Noise. Major cities typically have higher noise levels than the suburbs. Cities produce greater noise due to increased traffic, more people, trains, and neighboring airports with noisy jets flying in and out. A neighborhood may become noisier and more crowded due to special events like concerts and sporting events.
3. Limited Space. Downsizing your living area is nearly always required when moving from the suburbs to the city. Most people reside in flats in big cities; in some places, the apartments might be smaller. Having an outdoor area like a patio or yard is also uncommon. Homes with decent-sized yards are available in big cities but are significantly more expensive than homes in the suburbs. If you want to live in a city, you must be okay with your neighbors being on the other side of your walls in an apartment complex.
4. Limited Parking Space. Parking in a big city is an enormous nuisance compared to the suburbs. In the suburbs, parking is permitted in driveways and on residential streets, and most companies offer parking lots for patrons to utilize. Parking is only sometimes guaranteed in large cities. Streets with free parking quickly fill up because certain residential streets only allow permit parking, which requires you to purchase a permit. Some apartments have a designated parking place, albeit they are uncommon. Also, it is uncommon for businesses to have parking lots, so you will probably have to pay to park somewhere on the street, possibly even a few streets from where you need to go.
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5. Higher Auto-Vehicle Insurance Premiums. Congested city life will increase your chance of accidents if you must have a car and live in a city. As a result, city residents will pay a greater insurance premium than those who live in the suburbs.
6. Increasing Crime Rates. You can bet on urban locations to be riskier than smaller communities, even if some cities have higher crime rates than others. Crime increases with population.

The Current Situation of City Center Apartments

The majority of people concur that the real estate market has altered recently. Thus, it’s crucial to take into account a few factors when determining if new city center flats are still wise investments:

1. The real estate sector, notably the market for apartments in cities, has been impacted by Covid. People’s preferences for where to live (and rent) and what kinds of properties have been impacted. Nowadays, more people are working remotely. Some workers no longer require access to an office. Hence, renting or buying a home in the city center or living there is no longer necessary.
   
2. Some business offices in the city center have scaled back on their floor space. Less demand for city center flats may result from fewer individuals working in urban areas. The practice of hybrid working, where people work partially from home and partially from the office, is becoming more widespread. The same goes for flexible working, which allows employees to choose how much time they spend in the office each week. Often, newly constructed flats in city centers are small and need more space for working from home. In the so-called “race for space,” some city dwellers emigrated to the suburbs and the countryside to find more space.
   

Are City Center Apartments Still The Best Btl Investments In 2023? 13

1. People became aware of the value of outdoor space for health and well-being because of Covid. Outdoor space is uncommon in newly constructed residences in city centers. Many people need easy access to public parks and other outdoor areas.
   
2. Currently, some things could be improved regarding the direction of the economy. There may be less demand for housing in city centers if businesses that employ people there cut their workforces. In certain cities, proposals exist to develop thousands of additional brand-new apartments in the city center. Apartments in these places may be harder to lease due to high levels of new supply and low projected demand. It could imply that their worth has not increased as much as it would have (or they might even fall in value).
   
3. Due to economic worries, apartment developers in the city center might opt to cut back their plans. Supplies could decrease. Future shortages of this kind of real estate may occur.
   
4. Renters and builders compete. In some cities, build-to-rent, or BTR, is growing in acceptance. Large developers and financial entities fund and construct flats to be rented out rather than sold. Build-to-rent apartment buildings give private landlords in the city center additional competition in the rental market.
   
5. Co-living projects, where investors construct towers of studio apartments with shared facilities, are starting to pop up in several city centers. They may increase the level of competition for apartment rentals.
   
6. but are they still a wise investment? Here, we’ll examine the benefits and drawbacks of this specific property type.
   

Why City Center Apartments (Can’t) Make Great Investments

Here are the primary factors that have contributed to new city center flats making excellent buy-to-let investments over time:

I am going to apologize ahead of time this is going to be a long post because there is a lot to unpack.
So I (25m) got dumped by my ex (24f) a year ago now. Our relationship had its ups and downs over the 6 years we were together, but that didn’t change how much we loved each other.
Our relationship slowly started to go downhill after my mother passed away in 2018. I lost myself completely, I was a shell of person that I once was. The years following my mothers passing I had lost my job and became completely withdrawn. Since I didn’t have a job I also couldn’t pay my half of the rent and I refused to get a job because I barely wanted to be on this earth. I didn’t reach out to my friends or family. My ex was pretty much the only person I would talk to. But around Covid time I got really bad. I spiraled into the worst depression I’ve experienced in my 25 years on this earth. I would stay up until 9 or 10 am and sleep until around midnight. I stopped talking to my ex almost completely and we stopped hanging out. About 4 or 5 months before my ex dumped me I was severely suicidal. I would leave the house and walk around town in the middle of the night. Mind you I wouldn’t tell my ex where or what I was doing but I think she knew. I would find myself at the bridge we lived near almost every night contemplating jumping but I never did. Side note I was smoking A LOT of weed at this point that she was paying for most of the time. But then the day came.
I was sitting at home while she was at work and I got a text. It said “we need to talk”. She wanted to talk when she got home but I pushed her to just tell me. Then she said she couldn’t do this anymore. My entire world came crashing down. I never thought she would say those words. Later when she got home I did the typical begging. The only thing I really remember from that was her telling me she didn’t love me anymore. I started packing my things the next few days and moved into my friends house.
In the months that followed I had gotten a job and started to really work on my mental health. Somehow my ex and I started talking again and hanging out again. It was looking pretty good for us. I was spending some nights with her and she was looking at me how she used to again. Then out of the blue she cut it off again. Saying something along the lines of “I don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone right now” adding that we could still be friends.
From then until now I have been paying her back the 20 grand that I owed her and we had been off and on friends for awhile. Mainly because I would tell her I couldn’t be friends with her (because I still loved her) and to not text me unless it was about money or if she wanted to try again. She would then text me a week or month later asking me how I’m doing. My dumbass would think she wanted to get back together because she texted me. It always ended up her just wanting to be friends. Until a couple weeks ago when I laid it all out and set the boundaries firm. She got upset with me and a little rude tbh. Still don’t understand that.
Throughout the break up though she said she still loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. She would say she still cared about me which her actions showed she did. I asked her the one day if there was any hope we could get back together which she responded with “in the future maybe we can but not right now”. From the times we hung out after the break up I could tell she was still attracted to me. Our conversations were pretty damn good and it seemed like the spark may still have been there.
So I have a couple of questions. Do you think there is any chance we can be together again? If so what can I do that may help in doing so? If not how can I recover from absolutely fucking up our relationship and losing my soulmate (this girl was truly the one for me)? Was I right to not want to be friends with her or was that her way of rekindling our relationship? Is this even salvageable after the damage I have done? It has been a year and I’m still not over her and I just want the pain to go away.

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Dear You,
I imagine it could be rather confusing to consider my having feelings towards you. I hope you will understand that I am no less confused. However, perhaps I should venture more into depth about the content of these feelings, and less about their validity.
The first time I ever laid eyes on you, I was left with a profound sense of temporal displacement - as though I suddenly realized I had never been in the right place at the right time, before that moment. The breathing apparatus that powers this biological meatsuit seemed to develop a stall, each breath catching in the chest like a steel bear trap. That first moment I looked into your eyes... Defibrillation of my very soul, vibrant shocks coursing through my being - a massive serotonin explosion.
You gave me a strange look when I said your name, after having read it. Unbeknownst to me, I pronounced your name right the very first time, without ever hearing it said. I would later learn that this isn't a particularly common thing for you, with a majority of individuals butchering it.
You also ignited within me a flame I had long since thought puttered out and gone cold - self love. You awoke something in me. When we met that first time, I was in a much different position than the one I presently find myself. In those times, I worked a minimum wage job and was more than content to be simply coasting through life. I even lived in a tent, because I didn't really care one way or another. Nonchalance had become my lifestyle. These days, I have an apartment. I'm working a job that is far more physically and mentally rewarding for me. And the fact it pays twice as much certainly isn't bad for me either. I've also made improvements in my health - dilligently working to become a better me, for me.
As I allow these feelings to grow, there also seems to be this ever blossoming sense that, for the first time in my experiences on this planet, I am headed in the proper direction. I no longer feel as though I am fighting myself every step of the way. I have found some sense of harmony within that I've never known before. It soothes and comforts the veritable cornucopia of wounds and scars my battles have inflicted upon me. It is a great boon to me, for I am a stranger to this kind of sensation.
Is this what people call "love"?
Does it have to have a title to exist? If these feelings bring no harm to any, should I not be free to experience them? Perhaps I don't need a classification and niche for every experience in this life, because not every experience can be summarized, compartmentalized and crammed into a box. There is no logic to this; only the beating of a heart poured out in metaphorical ink.
Please take care out there. I am here, where I have always been. You know. I have made my presence and interest no secret matter. I will always be grateful that you allow me to share in some aspects of you. I long to learn all of these facets you present, both the radiant and shadowy ones - all combined to create a stunning treasure of a person. You are a gift to this world. I am humbled that the Universe graced me with the opportunity to know such a being exists.
Edit And here I am: Once again awake at 3 am with you on my mind. Frankly, I wouldn't have it any other way. 😌

You hear it all the time. "You should put in a two weeks notice so you don't burn that bridge." "Be careful of your interactions with XYZ. It's a small world, you don't wanna burn that bridge." "The recruiter you are dealing with in Florida might be besties with a future recruiter you will deal with in Oregon. Be careful not to burn that bridge."
Quite frankly it all sounds like corporate BS fear mongering used to force people to continue accepting less and not bettering themselves. But I digress.
So to anybody who has burned these so called bridges, what happened to you after? Could you no longer get a job? Is there some secret dossier that you get added onto that is like a naughty list?
I ask because there are thousands of people here that have not burned one single bridge and yet still cannot find a job to save their lives. There are thousands of people who got laid off for absolutely no reason. If that can happen to innocent people, I am terrified to hear these horrific horror stories of the bridge burners. Please tell me.

So, I haven't been able to play AWII up until now because I simply don't own a Series X or game on PC (I still game on a base Xbox One and 360). I'm a massive fan of the original game and the American Nightmare digital add-on. I even purchased the novelization of the original game, and downloaded the little live action mini series they made years ago. I stayed away as much as I could from playthroughs on YouTube as I didn't want to be spoiled in terms of story or gameplay. Happily, a friend of mine who owns both a Series X and the game let me take a spin on the game from the beginning. I felt so excited to sit down and play it, especially after hearing the rave (non-spoiler) reviews it got. I played for about three and a half hours before choosing to hang it up.
Now, before I say anything more, I just want to say that these are merely my own feelings, thoughts and opinions on the game. If you loved the game, I genuinely am glad for that. Not all games are going to appeal to everyone, and the decisions and changes Remedy made for the sequel were what they thought was best.
That being said, as much as it pains me to say, after giving it an honest chance, I find it simply is not for me. To be completely honest, I didn't like much of it. There were a few things I did like, such as the Dark Place version of NYC, and especially the updated version of Bright Falls, as the town itself was one thing I adored about the original game. Watery was also a welcome addition. And Coffee World flat out cracked me up. And I also liked the updated look of Wake, and the character of Alex Casey.
But that's about where my likes end. I will try and avoid any spoilers in my own personal criticisms. But, the massive change in tone from the first game was one thing I honestly didn't like. I very much liked the, what I can only describe as Action-Horror style of the original, over the flat out Horror style of AWII (And I say that as a horror writer myself!) Maybe it's simply because I've played the original since I was 20 years old in 2010 to now, but it was just too jarring for me. The best way to phrase it, was that it felt like it was trying to emulate the Resident Evil remakes too much. I also missed the cliche, somewhat cheesy 70s and 80s movie tone the original had as it went more serious. To me, that sort of sucked the fun out of things. The same with the whole concept of the cork board and connecting pictures together. With either Alan or Saga. It just wasn't my personal cup of tea. It slowed things down too much.
I also disliked the change in combat. Many people found the combat of the original to be tedious, but I personally liked the swarming enemy mechanics. I like the rush of panic as you swing Alan around, pointing the flashlight and trying to land your shots. Making the enemies much harder and fewer just felt less engaging and tense to me, and making them venerable bullet sponges also wasn't that enjoyable to me. In addition, I also missed the driving segments that the first game had. Again, I know others didn't enjoy them, but I personally did. Getting behind the wheel and ramming into the Taken was a highlight for me.
One other thing I wasn't a fan of either, was adding a new, playable character. I won't delve into this too much, as way too many people have muddied the waters over this as I've stumbled across YouTube videos with titles about it. Suffice to say, the actress who portrayed Saga Anderson did a great job, but, if it makes sense, in a game called Alan Wake II, his character was the one I wanted to play, not another, even if it was chosen for story direction.
Beyond that, I also missed the licensed soundtrack that the first game had. It made the game, to me at least, feel more connected to the real world, which always helps increase immersion. Plus, a game filled with songs by artists I love such as Roy Orbison, Poe, The Black Angels, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds and more just was all that and a bag of chips. Plus, to be honest, I wasn't a big fan of the new rendition of the in game band Old Gods of Asgard. The original songs sounded genuinely like ones a 70s rock band would have put out 50 years ago; the ones I heard didn't. Maybe I didn't get far enough in to the game to find they were supposed to be new songs that the Anderson brothers recorded, but still.
Honestly, I think I would more have preferred the version of Alan Wake II we were supposed to get 11 or 12 years ago, before it was shelved. I watched that footage back again when I returned home tonight, and found myself enjoying watching it more than what I played.
Again, if you did enjoy the game, I am truly happy for you, as it makes all your lives that much more enjoyable. Please don't let my negative reaction detract from your positive one! Enjoy the game!
But, for me?
I think I'll just stick to playing the original and American Nightmare.