Looking for advice . Please be kind to me. I’ve posted on here before and have been met with not so kind comments. I don’t mind honesty I just prefer if people were not rude as I’m going through a really rough time.
I found three pictures of my husband’s penis in his recently deleted photos, and one picture of a girl naked in a mirror. The top dated May 16, 2024. However, I was unable to go to the more info tab so that I could figure out exactly WHEN the pictures were taken. As I know you can do on an apple iPhone . he snatched the phone out of my hand and deleted the pictures prior to me being able to do this. I will provide more context as to our relationship and the situation below. I am sorry for the lengthy post. I am not very concise and do not know how to be in the situation as there are many factors involved.
For context, I have been with my husband for 11 years, married for two. The very first few years of our relationship my husband had a Sexting problem where he would sex people compulsively behind my back as well as other things. This was 2014/2015 However, he has said it’s never been in person. He got help for this, sought out a therapist.
As a result of this, obviously the trust has been broken despite how long ago it was. We never saw couples therapy, which was a huge mistake,
and I never saw therapy myself until recently, for other issues were going through. As a result of him cheating, our solution was that I could go through his phone unrestricted whenever I wanted. As somebody with a history of being cheated on, I’m very good at going through a phone and know pretty much every trick known to figure stuff out. Up until I found these pictures, I haven’t really found incriminating evidence. However, there were instances where I questioned if he was able to hide some thing from me. for example, he’d have logins into a Snapchat, even though he never sent pictures or any snaps, he would get spam messages, which to me seemed like he was maybe doing online chats and as a result, getting spam messages at times, and he has acted weird and just off.
For more context, my husband is a very good liar. He can look me in the eyes and lie like there’s no issue. I have caught him in multiple lies not related to cheating. He is a compulsive gambler as well (as am I but I’m currently in help and getting better). There have been many instances where he has lied to me and made me seem crazy for me to only find out hard proof evidence later that he was not being honest.
His argument for the current pictures found on his phone is that he recently restored his iPhone to an old iCloud. This I know is true. He did Switch phones because his broke. his current iCloud backup wasn’t available and he had to restore his phone to an older version. However, like I said, I regularly go through his phone, including pictures. I have gone through his phone since this back up, I have not seen these pictures in his phone before.
Also, the pictures in his phone only go back until 2017. This includes on his photos app, on his Google photos, on his Snapchat, and pretty much anywhere else you could find photos. Any information on his phone actually only goes back to 2017 which makes me think that the iCloud back up is from 2017. Like I said, when my now husband cheated on me, it was in 2014 to 15.
I have regularly questioned him how pictures from this time could be on his current iPhone when it’s only dating back to 2017. He cannot provide me with more information than that “ they are old photos”. have brought up that there are no other photos from 2014 and 15 or even 16 and that it doesn’t seem likely that the only four old pictures on his phone from 201415 or 16 are sexting pictures.
Now for my evidence that they are new. The pictures of his penis are of him in underwear I literally just folded, it’s in a room that indicates he was at work, he’s in a shirt that is likely his current uniform (this has been his uniform since 2017-2018), he was away the weekend before working, I regularly go through his phone and haven’t seen these pictures, and his phone only goes back to 2017.
I will say that the picture of the girl in the mirror naked does remind me of an old picture I found on his phone in 2014/2015. It actually even looks like an old picture. However, the pictures of his penis 90% look new per what I said above.
What are your thoughts? Is it likely that these actually are old photos? I honestly feel like I’m not getting the full story. I’m not even saying that he cheated on me the weekend he went away, but they definitely seem like photos that are AFTER the cheating period Of our relationship.
I have told him time, and time again that I don’t care about the cheating. I mean, obviously I care, but it’s more about the fact that he cannot be honest about the situation. usually with our fights, he just waits until I forget it, and forgive him. But these are usually related to gambling not to cheating. I have told him that I really cannot move past this until I get the truth. I feel that there might be a partial truth that these are old (although again, I really do think that this happened the weekend he was away at work), however, I’m not getting the FULL story because it really just doesn’t make sense how they’re on his phone now. I keep asking him to make it make sense but all he can see is that they are old photos.
I am really thorough on how I go through his phone but there are some options that I feel like I could be missing. Such as he has a undercover Reddit account that I can’t find or isn’t currently on his phone, he’s on a website that’s not trackable and it’s just texting random people, or he has an email I’m on aware of.
Thank you in advance. Again, I know the cheating is a problem but I’m really willing to look past this if I get the full truth.

I have a friend named Sophie who works for an airline and I to also worked for an airline. We had been working together in the aviation industry for about 7-8 years and have been pretty close up until I got my new job which is in the tech industry.
To simplify it, the new job I had got in March pays almost x3 of what we make at our positions at an airline, and Sophie knows this because her sister works in the same industry and I am assuming disclosed that to Sophie because she never asked me how much my new job pays, she just started assuming I would pay for everything going out. It got to the point where she would call me her "sugar mama" and how she can't wait for me to shower her in gifts. At this point I couldn't tell if this was just her way of being happy for my new job or just being selfish.
Since my position in the aviation industry was very close to minimum wage I had racked up some debt and now with my new position want to take the time to try to pay of this debt asap. I had explained that to Sophie but she pretty much had just brushed it aside and said "you'll have $15K paid off in no time with that new job of yours and soon well be going to Italy together and 'we' Weill be able to treat 'ourselves' to the fancy places now" and comments like that told me, she just wants me to pay for everything.
We had been friends for 7 years prior to this both working minimum wage positions at the airport and always had worked together to find cheap or free events to go to, window shopping, not overpriced places to eat, the whole goal was so we could enjoy ourselves without the guilt of spending too much.
Now, when Sophie asks to hang out, she plans this whole extravagant outing where will have to uber, pay for cover, go out to eat, she wants bottle service, space to dance so a VIP section, a place to sleep. When I tell her I will have to decline because I can't be going out and spending a bunch of money on an outing that would cost hundreds of dollars, she gets offended, leaves me on read, doesn't answer my phone calls, won't talk to me, until the next birthday or event comes up and she does this whole extravagant planning again to which ill kindly decline because I would remind her Im trying to pay off my debts and can't afford to be going out like that.
It got to the point where she had vocalized it is "unfair". She claims because she's constantly flying everywhere and is only in the city a couple days of the month that "we should take advance of the time and go out". I tell her she's more than welcome to come over, make food at my house, drink here, but im not paying to go out when it's going to cost a lot of money. She has made comments like "well your life is easier and more affordable now, going out once and a while isn't going to kill you" " you need to get out and live" I have shot all these comments down by re-enforcing boundaries and telling her I just can't afford it. We are now at the stage where she doesn't even bother anymore. She hasn't answered my message or phone calls in weeks. To be honest I feel used, I dont really know how you can be friends with someone for so long and the point that makes you want to drop it all is because they won't spend money on you. I just want to understand her perspective, but anytime I had asked, she claims she is just trying to live her best life and that Im not. I never in my life thought money would get in-between me and a long time friend but here we are. She used to come over all the time, wed meet down town just to hang out, but now, if I don't pick her up for the airport, her boyfriends house, her moms house in a different province, then she just stops responding.
Not sure if this is a common thing, but curious to know if it is or isn't since I have expressed my concern for this to others and no one has really given me a straight answer.

MAIORES. IV, CAL. IUNI. FORTUNA PRIMIGENIA.

This subject follows along from the general conclusion of infantilism, i.e. if we agree that infantilism exists in a culture that therefore all aspects of (such a culture) must be examined as to how they are impacted ‘by’ that infantilism, as: infantilism constitutes an undeveloped form of a thing; here (without covering absolutely every single aspect of it, as this could be a book in and of itself) we explore ‘sexual immaturity’ and its promulgation and consequences (of which we could easily make the case of the consequences as to be the cause of ‘all social ill’).
In an anthropological view; as if like we are looking at a chimpanzee colony, both procreation and familial-tribal child-raising takes place in our contemporary Western societies in a very clumsy sort of way; with the latter (i.e. the actual raising of children) not occurring at all, with the consequence of ‘arrested development’ – and usually we would recognize and name this, if we ever thought very deeply about it:
However, the notion that all of this could be reduced to and fathomed as ‘sexual immaturity’ is an interesting (and unexplored) avenue to approach these matters from; certainly the act of actual procreation is deliberately accidental (I mean here in the contemporary West) in that a Woman does “not seek a mate” and then become pregnant, i.e. she does not even the sexual act to be procreative, rather: she accidentally becomes pregnant (“it was a miracle”), having beforehand and all throughout the duration and beyond it a culture which is far detached from the physical reality of things and thus a new human is created with no forethought for its care or provision and no security net in place to provide for it and ensure its prosperity and intelligent up-bringing, and increasingly there are fewer and fewer intelligent older persons around who are capable of providing the education and care for that child as would naturally exist in the large familial-tribal unit of an extended family where, historically, we all came from and of which is still the norm across much of the world, (i.e. village elders who would otherwise raise the children up to be intelligent even if the Mother herself is too young to be a real parent - if we imagine as the species norm would be that most Women historically had their first child at around the age of fourteen or fifteen). Without, then, that familial-tribal unit to instruct and care for the child’s intellectual development and without either land to make a living from to provide tis economic development then we find a cursed life, that is: a life far more difficult than it otherwise ought be had it been born in a more wisely chosen environment.
My point here is that ‘procreation’ is considered almost never at all by our society as being the most basic step in the creation and promulgation ‘of’ a tribal unit; with procreation itself being left down to blind chance and more often either legitimately accidentally or feigned accidently so as to attempt to cement a relationship (see: divorce and break-up rates in the West), either way this is the material circumstance into which children are born.
To say, then, that not grasping this reality ‘is’ itself a product of sexual immaturity; i.e. a Woman who does not understand what a new human is, seems to me to be far more of an accurate view of the thing than to declare it as ‘sexual immorality’ as it is usually insisted by the Abramic types, as: rather obviously it is ‘Sexual Immaturity’ rather than ‘Sexual Immorality’ that is the really cause of (the above scenario), that is: it is not Men and Women knowing too much about sex but of Men and Women knowing virtually nothing at all and therefore absent of a practice and familiarity necessary for Sexual Maturity, with Sexual Maturity itself being the very thing declared to be Immorality - an irreconcilable paradox.
It seems to me, then, that the habits we observe of ‘accidental pregnancy’ are the natural occurrence in such an unnatural society; that is: a consequence of misplaced moralism over the vital mechanical sexual functions of the human body (a thing which may well dominate and drive our unconsciousness entirely) have been rendered so alien to our expression and consideration but of which are so incessant and irrepressible; that sexual release is habitually denied, I mean here societally (i.e. “it is not polite”), and only finds ‘permission’ to appear in extreme drunkenness in fits of frenzy, and so on, so that when procreation actually occurs it is sporadic and neither at that moment nor before it was the adult rational mind involved – again, this is plainly a consequence of ‘sexual immaturity’ ‘before’ it could ever be said to be a consequence of ‘sexual immorality’.
It’s worth considering, of our own society in contemporary times, how far removed we are from most of the world which practices arrange marriages in one form or another (i.e. whether we are speaking of large tribal units or smaller family units) and what the consequence of this is on our own communities being absent of that; that is: the most fertile years of our lives are not spent having gotten procreation out of the way by having five or six children by the age of twenty or nineteen (so that when the child is fifteen you might be thirty, which seems to be the age where the sexual drive begins to dissipate or has anyway lost its novelty), and instead (i.e. without of being match-made far earlier in life) procreation instead occurs – if it does at all – accidentally and well-past the most fertile and healthy years, with such children being often quite sickly and the strain on the body being significantly more risky to the Mother (haphazardly enabled only then by massive external resources which would not have been required at all beforehand). I do not mean to seem as if I am advocating “having five or six children by the age of twenty or nineteen” only that in our natural environment this has always been the way of the thing due to natural sexual exploration when we are at that age.
At the same time, at the beginning and at the end of this “waste of time” (as I would say) of those most fertile years in which our sexuality is forbidden to us; that culture which we examine here as being simply Sexual Immaturity, it has been the case that that “Immaturity” persists well into later life by those afflicted adults who were forbidden to practise their natural sexuality when they were at the age where they wanted to, that is that the culture and mentality of such persons subjected to such restrictions quite demonstrably can be shown to have regressed them to the point that, as then as adults, they dress as children, speak and think as children, shun adult responsibility and seem altogether to have matured intellectually no further than the age of twelve or thirteen years, despite physiologically and neurologically having surpassed far beyond that early almost larval-like stage of our development where the body and mind are both only partially formed.
Instead it has been the “dragging-out” of that childlike insensibility, again: to no useful outcome, which has by that point in time essentially mitigated most of their procreative potentiality in that 1) physically having children is then far more difficult for them, and 2) they are now twenty-five years behind where their familial-tribal unit might otherwise have been, i.e. they do not have five or six twenty year old children bringing in incomes to the Household (to purchase a Household in the first place if they did not possess one before) or working the land (or likewise to purchase land) so that their prosperity will not have developed beyond mere subsistence off of the external labour market so as to escape the poverty and dependency traps inherent in the cities – which nominally constitutes their entire existence ‘to’ escape such miseries. All in all it is a lot of hard work by that point and I could not help but notice, of my own generation and those slightly older, how this outcome would have been entirely altered and set on a more prosperous trajectory if, say, at the age of sixteen a couple had been put together and had a few children, as: by the age of twenty the best seeds would have been sewn and they would not have to even think about “having children” ever again which is itself a thing, I observe anyway, that is so daunting and bothersome later in life that it really is something better gotten out of the way as early as possible in the manner that we would have done quite naturally otherwise.
If the idea here is to build up that familial-tribal unit then this methodology serves the purpose in the most optimal manner; the adults are freed up and enjoy their liberties, the younger adults (i.e. the teenagers) are preoccupied quite happily fulfilling their single greatest biological urges to have sex as much as they like, and the population figures begin to climb up at a rate of replacement which is far superior, e.g. a thirty year old parent of a fifteen year old only has five years before that fifteen year becomes a physically matured adult ready to contribute to the unit, whereas by contrast a thirty year old parent of a five year old has a great longer time to wait for physical maturity so that the distance between the two age groups becomes fragile and thin the further it is stretched with a concurrent loss of replacement manpower by a space of ten additional years.
There is something to be said for the older more experienced Father, of course, I remember quite well that the children I grew up with whose Fathers were in their forties and fifties and whose Mothers were in their twenties or very early thirties were quite better-off in their disposition and intelligence (whilst those with older Mothers tended to be sickly in one way or another); simply put though I think it is more to do with the experience of age as the influencing factor than anything else and a functional familial-tribal unit would have this influence in far greater capacity.
If we add to this factor the notion of polygamy (something shunned as ‘pagan’ by the Abramic religions yet advocated for in their own holy books, indeed: it was the universal norm) then we find the whole circle being completed in that young teenagers do as they please with each other, becoming familiar with relationship and their sexuality, and then when they reach a more mature age they might marry each other or other people properly so as to begin families of their own; but that by that age they may well have produced several children already via multiple partners so that the actual ‘legitimate children’ (in the sense of inheriting land and titles) of a more formal marriage is superfluous to population replacement insofar as the tribe is concerned, as: they have already increased the headcount quite massively by comparison. It is worth mentioning here the legal problems of land inheritance and the seeming inability for people to ever work this all out amongst themselves as being one of the most desirable points of the introduction of some of the Abramic religions, when they first appeared, as rules were laid out of who could inherit (some rules more effective than others, some quite ruinous in fact) which provided a framework in perpetuity (but on the other hand, with all children being considered legitimate in some instances, i.e. the children of concubines, this produced the problem of “all children” being in competition for the single title or, in turn, a vast spread of land, i.e. a Kingdom, being broken apart “to make it all fair”: this did not differ in form from, say, Imperial China to the late Ottoman court whilst the European Monarchies to their credit, somewhat, temporarily solved the matter by the allocation of specific titles to be given to the first born, second born, third born, etc., and then bouncing back to the Monarch upon the death of that Duke to be allocated again – although some would say this is a feeble manner by which to govern large polities it differs not very much from the essential ‘oversight’ duties over local governments as practiced in the Roman Principate rather than direct-governorship over those provinces themselves).
The tribal influence in real terms upon children cannot be understated in its superior effects upon the character and long-term capacity of the children themselves (when compared to others); I have some experience in my own up-bringing with this and really the outcome (again: compared to the infantilism, i.e. arrested development, you will almost always find in the nuclear family type, which we might easily compare to factory farmed within four walls and a hen-pecking parental authority vs. free range) is a quite more matured and capable disposition (call it “street smarts” if you like; they follow what actually works rather than what is ‘pretended to them’ to work, which is typically nothing more than the parents own whimsical desires of the moment) amongst all the children when they are simply freed up from the poor influence of an unfit parent even without the good influence of a more fit parent of which, then, the fit parent itself could be determined to be largely superfluous, as: of their own accord they learn amongst themselves and become naturally fortified against being instructed into error by a witless or ill-inclined adult, whereas a child stuck under the thumb of a witless ‘parent’ has no means to disobey that witless parent without facing severe punishments and so there the child is sculpted into a helpless fool, later embittered in life and at the tender mercy of their peers, as: even as they might innately know-better (than to do the foolish thing their parent demands they do) they are forced nevertheless, either physically punished or emotionally coerced, into adopting the ‘silly walk’ and ‘dress’ of the witless parent, which is to say: they are forced into conforming toward the cultural idealism determined by the parent with no thought whatsoever for the practicalities of life, e.g. the matter of “how will my child earn a living” is addressed neither by parenting nor by schools thus begrudgingly selling themselves auction block of the labour market turns out to be the only method, whether they were deluded into thinking that their aspirations to be a professional athlete or an astronaut were entertained and encouraged for them at the expense of informing them about any other means of paying the rent or not.
I should say here that when I say “familial-tribal unit” I am broadly referring to any number of groupings, in whatsoever local forms they may take shape, but that the decisive factor, most chiefly, will be a large extended family network of which, if it ever needed to pool its resource together, would constitute a decent size force in land, resource production and manpower – but chiefly it is the possession of land which enables everything else:
More ideally, to my mind, it would resemble (or be very close in composition to) that Roman ‘Familia’ (the origin of the word ‘Family’ in our English) where a fairly large blood family of at least five generations inhabited in and around the same House or group of Houses (see: Palace, Villa and Manor Economy), with servants and adoptees and associates (business partners) likewise being considered as extended kin; altogether forming, as it were, a little nationality. In the sense of ‘Nationality’ it is, it ought be said, more a return to how we actually were prior to the ‘naming conventions’ of the 1700’s or so where the stupid surnames made up on the spot of many Europeans were forced into Law over what would have originally been clan and tribal identities and from which there came that fake sense of disparate ‘Nationality’ (i.e. cut off from tribe and forced into atomization; identity through a very small family unit alone) from which the misnomer of ‘Race’ would be made-up to lend credibility to. In many ways a great deal of the urbane ‘neurosis’, let’s call it, stems really from this absence of ‘true tribe’ with it having been eradicated either by the fecklessness of urban societies; societies of strangers and thieves, and also more directly via those religions which pretend to fill the void of ‘true tribe’ with their witless rituals and effete pretences – things which are a wet-blanket over true fellowship wrought in such a manner as comes in all reality perfectly naturally the moment the screws holding foolishness in place are undone and cast away – and really here, when we stack these observations together one upon the other, we are really speaking of a sound and strong society certainly immune to the shallow perversity created by denialism toward the basic mechanics of the human body – in addition to any other considerations which follow from that.

THE OVERALL INFLUENCE (OR LACK THEREOF) OF A TRIBAL-FAMILIAL UNIT

It must be considered quite seriously by the reader as to the overall influence, or lack thereof, of a tribal-familial unit as to what fills its place in the education of people otherwise and, as I began this text by considering for myself, how much of the ‘dysfunctionality’ can be attributed to the “lack thereof”.
Along with the cultural instance on sexual immaturity as to produce the consequence of delaying and drawing out for decades a fetish of normal sexuality which ought naturally be done with by a person after reaching the age, say, of maybe seventeen, there is the greater point which I am trying to relay here in this text of how many other aspects of ‘bad culture’ are singularly anchored to and thusly totally dependent upon that sexual immaturity – that is: we would be hard-pressed to imagine how really many of the pernicious scenarios in our contemporary society would even arise if that foundation stone of ‘sexual immaturity’ were removed from the equation:
For instance, how much of a ‘relationship’ is spent and sculpted (either by the Man or the Woman or both) on jealously and worry of the other ending the relationship for having found another person or another means to fulfil their sexual gratification? If a ‘relationship’ is based upon, let’s call this, “mutual masturbation” then at the heart of that is sexual immaturity of the mental age of maybe fourteen years whereupon a person has been sort of coaxed into dependency for orgasm on a third party; they are fraught and fearful that this should be taken away from them – it being so vital as like a mechanical necessity for either sex – that the entire content of their ‘relationship’ revolves around it; seeking it, coaxing it, demanding it, guarding it from be lost, and so on, of which I think it is not exaggeration to say that such concerns constitute 100% of the verbal interaction in such a ‘couple’; either outright or in the back of the mind so as to reinterpret all scenarios and verbal expressions as being related to that end-goal of maintaining the “mutual masturbation”.
Simply put this ‘relationship’, then, revolves around twenty minutes of sexual activity in a day – if that much (or even if every day), yet dominates the entirety of the mind; that is: the entirety of the ‘relationship’, when this action itself is something that a servant or a slave or a prostitute would be used for in many societies, with the ‘content’ of the marriage, say, being concerned more with running the business of a Household or concerned with procreation to produce legitimate children to inherit the business, the title, the land, whatever. My point here is that neither Man nor Woman are elevated or their dignity improved, somehow, by this absence of sexual maturity but rather that both are reduced; i.e. greatly lowered, to the cognitive and social standing of the “servant, slave, prostitute,” in that as far as they think of and conceptualize themselves as part of a Household at all it is singularly the concern with simple sexual acts which dominate their interpersonal interactions and their ideas about their own self; it is their ‘social currency’.
If this seems alien – I mean my observation on this – consider how much neurosis goes on in the daily grooming rituals of Women or those sad excuses for Men who “lift weights but cannot fight” (not to mention the ease at which a thin muscular physique bleeds out at the slightest of puncture wounds, see: Roman Gladiator training), i.e. whose only concern is that of admiring their own bodies in a mirror, this being intellectually identical to young Women. Is this not the mentally of a slave? If so, even if we shy away from saying it plainly, then we must ask “what forms the mentality of a slave (i.e. where does it come from)” – in the above equation a slave in a Household is more like an object fulfilling a function than He or She is a person with any autonomy (well, obviously there is no autonomy for a slave) so it is almost to be expected that in such an environment that the intellectual trajectory of an object-person goes away from externalities and becomes entirely absorbed with self-presentation and equates their social status from that, and if groups of such persons will set this to be the common culture; deriving status in that manner among themselves – although still these are slaves possessing no ‘status’ to speak of, as being object-people. This is evidenced also in victims of sexual abuse or those, in general, suffering at the hands of third parties whose autonomy is in some way or another restricted; that their singular focus becomes that of sexuality as like depression is “rage turned inward”, thus too it seems for sexual infantilism.
I cannot pass up this subject without mentioning a series of interviews describing, a thing quite novel to me, the notion of American Christian ‘Purity Culture’ from the point of view of those heavily indoctrinated into that; instilled with Catholic levels of guilt over the normal function of the body, who have then left their small churches or megachurches, or whatever, and spoken plainly about the mentality of those inside of it as relating to sexuality. It is a thing I think long suspected but seldom expressed that, as it was described, the mentality of such persons is that they are “horny all the time” due to the relentless guilt inculcated into them; that due to denialism of sexuality their ordinary sexual impulses are magnified to an incredible degree and that, consequentially, their entire being is animated by repressed sexuality so that their thoughts are ‘impure’ all the time whilst verbally they express strong denialism and shame over the thing. I think this is no real difference to any such religious malinstruction; be it Muslim, Jewish or Christian, in that the perpetual infantilism of their surrounding society stems first of all from their own bedrock religious culture (i.e. whatever religion which is at odds with the human body, etc.) were due to such ‘culture’ they never really get over, say, an early adolescent view of sexuality where they are driven entirely by it and never learn to overcome it, no pun intended, but utterly unrealized – which would take them leaving their religion – is that this process demonstrably brings out the absolute worst in their character and disposition with the process itself being the promulgation ‘of’ those very “Viceful thoughts ” that they claim to be “at War with in the world”, in other words: it is just they themselves who, for example, look at a young teenage girl (or god help us, a small boy) and thinks all manner of sexual rapacity – and that this animates them politically to campaign for restrictive legislation to be put into Law to police “all society” as if “all society” existed at their low level is an incredible thing to consider. But I do not think their broader societies are any exception to this, rather point here is that their broader societies are comprised of persons exactly like them; that the Christian or the Jew driven by a lifetimes shaming over their normal sexuality adopt, in turn, the most depraved expressions ‘of’ sexuality as a self-affirmation; that is: the extreme self-identification with a simple sexual action, for example, came to literally define a persons personality in such places to the point that (Americans anyway) seriously put out the notion during the late 1990’s and 2000’s that a fleeting sexual act 1) defines a persons entire character, and 2) it is also inborn, e.g. as like to say that whether you prefer this or that on the menu at a restaurant is something determined genetically; this is utterly stupid and utterly, in my opinion, a consequence of society which has not wanted to evolve beyond the ‘sexual immaturity’ of which physiologically seems to occupy a very small window of the middle to late teens and of which repression during those ages quite demonstrably creates madness and retardation – I mean that if their culture did not peripherally do this to them then the manner by which swathes of their cultural-historical institutions do this to them ‘outright’ by inculcation into this process in particular certainly does it to them, and merely it is the unwillingness to fully condemn these Religions and relegate these influences to the dustbin which keeps the entire thing ticking along with “just enough” of the population bent out of shape by it to present those same persons, seemingly confused as to where they came from, lumbering through the broader society and serving as examples of lunacy and degeneracy.
In short - and I may as well add this here also, the aim to abstain for a while from sexuality was a custom introduced by the Ancient Romans and was designed to heighten sexual pleasure; in effect, then, foreign barbarians coming to this culture much later on with nobody to really explain it to them ended up unwittingly engaging in what they would probably have recognized as ‘sex magic’ whereupon the denial of their own mechanical sexual function was ‘abstained’ by them; i.e. they saw the value in holding off on doing drugs or having sex for a while, – but they did not understand what the effect or the outcome of that was ‘intended’ to be in that one would abstain specifically ‘to’ heighten the senses toward that pleasure; and this is evidenced chiefly in the Lunar Orgies and the Fast/s of Ceres. Interestingly, Jesus himself in (i think the Gospel of Thomas?) mentions to his followers that “they will hate him for what he says now,” and that he says that “fasting brings out all the worst in them” – in other words, engaging in periodic abstinence will turn them all horny. Knowing this from a relatively early age it was no surprise to me at all why celibate priests ended up diddling children or member of their own congregation or why the most outwardly pious zealots proved to be the most morally weak people to be found as even with the most ‘clean’ example, let’s say, of a person who has never drank wine, for example, they have not ‘overcome’ that thing but have rather avoided ever experiencing that thing so that it will always be a novel temptation to them of which they will have no understanding of and which they can be leveraged by in various ways primarily due to their ignorance of which ‘experience itself’ would otherwise render them far more fortified against:
A good example here is the ‘pot scare’ of the early 1930’s in America when it was seriously believed by a wholly ignorant chunk of the urbane voting public that smoking cannabis (and drinking alcohol, for that matter) would turn a person into a serial killer, this is totally bizarre to us now, but notice that this was the same society whose moral standard was that “a table leg” should not be uncovered because it reminded them of a Womans bare leg – although here we might better understand why they were so preoccupied by thoughts like that (I think very seriously in their heightened state of perpetual arousal any little thing would send them to buggery of a farmyard creature)! Hilarious. But – notice also that this was the same society which was engaging in some of the most casually egregious inhumane criminality that history had ever seen, as if they ‘were’ high on narcotics and their rational senses dulled; I do not mean here to bring American notions of ‘Race’ into this as to be seen to ‘condemn Black Slavery’ in the fashion of my own day (although we mentioned family-tribe as a better form of so-called nationality earlier) but the ghastly images of actual Country Fairs where smiling families with children by their knees would pose for crude photographs with the charcoaled or bloated rotting carcass of a burned or lynched Man is beyond my ability to play-down or normalize. I mean here to say, that: far from the pretense of ‘clean mindedness’ of such persons about themselves that we find these same persons are the filthiest and most depraved characters around, being those few persons who walk amongst us who are actually capable of doing those inhumane things (again, see: Banality of Evil) as would be unthinkable to a person of normal rational healthy conscience. We might connect this, also, to the historical BDSM extravaganzas which took place in the Christian monasteries and public squares for many centuries where young Women were sexually tortured by celibate clergymen as to recognize how deep and quick a plunge it is from a person or their culture going from the denial of normal healthy sexuality into the kettled and sadistic gore fetish of outright murder.
It is always worth reminding the reader who wishes to minimize these more egregious aspects of the subject (as rape is still rampant among the clergy); which are consequential of sexual immaturity, that it was not ‘reason and rationality’ per se that stamped this out from European society but soldiers kicking in the doors of such Churches, Town Halls and Houses with muskets, rifles, long knives and grape-shot and physically eradicating the perpetrators and their willing congregations from America and France for the practice itself of sexually torturing a Woman and then burning the evidence on the fake pretexts of obviously made-up accusations of “she turned me into a frog” to actually be ended. That is to say that the ‘mentality’ and ‘culture’ which provided the framework for such inhumane activities was never formally realized or educated-out of a people, so to find it lingers along into contemporary times; animating the otherwise dormant farmyard animal-like character of such persons “like powers of evil”, is not surprising to me in the least. What was more surprising to me is that as so much of these religions are so obviously outright ‘evil’ that more persons do not speak of the intricacies of the things in such necessary detail these more ‘egregious’ cases would qualify, and then to spool back to discover the cause of every evil action in the mentality of every perpetrator – generally speaking, for instance, it will be a character with a disposition of infantilism and perhaps this is more easy to understand without needing to connect it to sexual immaturity though, to my mind, these are not distinct enough to warrant any separation; as: infantilism is always going to be immaturity and immaturity is always going to run concurrent with a lack of adult intellectual development where a mature and experienced view of a thing, sexuality in this case, has likely been within the powers of a person to have gleaned naturally through experiences – in which case there would be no argument with anything I say here, or of which such experiences have been prevented by external powers from being gleaned by the person in question; in which case they remain ‘as if’ they were fourteen years old with the allure of mysterious unknown sex acts utterly dominating their consciousness at all times and yet physically being thirty, forty, fifty years old – well past the age (certainly physiologically) where they should have gotten it all out of their system but of which they have not, chiefly because their experiences have been rather dull and monotone and so much social currency has been valued by it ‘being’ dull and monotone, e.g. monogamy, legal repercussions binding two people in place, the atomized kettling nature of the disconnected nuclear family unit, living amongst strangers in large cities where it not so simple as just going topless to change the local culture, control through the selective denial of the sex act itself (as William Reich and Esther Vilar both write on), the sexualisation of young people by adults, the accidental ‘perversity’ (in the real meaning of the word) of unfulfilled (or poorly fulfilled, or repressed altogether) sexuality and its effects on the brain and society, and so on and so on.
I am always inclined to think when considering this subject, and I may as well end this text in conclusion with this recurrent thought of mine, that ‘sexual perversion’ really begins in the mind of ourselves as young teenagers when the normal human body is leeringly presented to us as being something ‘illicit’, e.g. the breasts of Women are concealed in our society and so due to ‘hiding them away’ they become objects of mystery and fetish which they otherwise are not. I do not think this is deliberate reverse psychology (as god help us few enough people even understand the concept to understand what they do inadvertently) but it produces the same consequence of reverse psychology, whereupon quite arbitrarily a certain piece of the body, say, an ankle, is all of a sudden declared by a mad Adult to be “evil, sinful, lustful, of the devil,” when no such notion existed in the minds of people otherwise, as then: their natural curiosity is piqued by this imposition and so they develop a perversion dervied in chief part – as a sense of lewd pleasure – from bucking the arbitrary nonsensical imposition forced upon them by that dictate of which such a scenario never would have had cause to occur if not for that imposition having created it. I feel that this ‘perversion’ (again, in the real meaning of that word) stands in the way of a fully realized and fully pursued sense of actual sexuality and, from it, of a more resonant concordance between Men and Women whose interactions are otherwise thrown off balance by such impositions as they are dragged back down to sexual immaturity all the time; or into fear and jealously etc., as like a dozen avenues are presented in any conversation and virtually of them are strewn with piss, vomit and polyfoam which had no reason to be put there in the first place, or more accurately: it was put there through the carelessness of an atomized and witless peoples who knew no better than to do this to themselves but of which a familial-tribal unit would have drummed out of them quick sharp if for the actuality of nothing else than “we are all in this together” being something that is tangibly true and not merely shallow political rhetoric when it is said of a tribe vs. when it is said of a state polity comprised of countless strangers.

MAIORES. IV, CAL. IUNI. FORTUNA PRIMIGENIA.

Hi dear people. My younger brother (Sam) verbally attacked me so that all his words linger. He also connected this to the loss of my cat. So it is lingering even more. Do you have advice?
He was inconsiderate when I lost my cat in january after very difficult week at the vets. And the cats death was even more difficult because putting him to sleep did not go well. Understatement. I needed to go to a hospital after the cat died because I got panick attack that felt like heart attack at the time.
My brother knew this and two days after my cat died he calls me. First telling he was sorry my cat died, I was surprised because Im not use to that kind of support from him recently (after i decided to distance myself from our other brother (Mike), and Sam feels Im a bad person because of that).
But then he asks me to babysit his mother in law’s cat, a senior, sick cat that needs alot of looking after. I kind of got numb and felt the panick attack symtoms coming a bit again. I get very panicked in my body and call my parents that are babysitting their children and ask if they cant jump next door regularly and feed the cat. They say that they thought that was the plan. I text Sam and tell him i cant and tell him my parents dont have no problem doing it.
I get another panick attack at home and I then fall asleep and wake up in the night. And send him a voicemessage. Im upset because I feel he has no concerns for my feelings, and tell him it felt like if someone lost a baby and they were asked to babysit. I also bring up that he has been acting like he doesnt care at all, and been acting very cold towards me. The message is not accusing him. It is more vulnerable and in a hurt tone. I say that I dont feel he wants to hurt me, but feels like he doesnt care about my feelings and that hurts. He has been pulling stuff before that I related to that. Like saying in a family gathering that mold allergy is just bullshit, when he knows I lost all my furnature and health for some time because of mold. Feels like he has been trying to hurt me like that after I decided to distance myself from Mike that I have good reasons for. I do talk to Mike and have been nice when we meet, but I told Sam that I would take a distance from Mike with out him realizing it too much. Sam got furious and about him being the only one to know it, because they are best friends. I told him that nothing will change because Mike doesnt have so much interest in me anyway, and that I told him so he would understand when i didnt come to family gatherings. But I do feel Sam has told everybody, but anyway. I am super connected to his kids and have babysat them so many times. But after this ther were not meetings and no babysitting. Ihave been asking for well over a year what is the matter and if we can fix things. If he tells me what is wrong so I can fix it. But he just says everything is fine.
Then january comes with this call after the cat dies. And my voice message that he answers very dimissively and saying that comparing my cat to a child is absurd. He answers that we can talk about this when Im better ( in my mother tongue he says it with a wording like Im mentally ill but not just griefing and in trauma)
Time passes that Im just in my life trying to get better. Maybe one or two months. Then I call his wife and just ask her if something is the matter, I havent seen them or the kids for more than a year even though i often invite them. I tell her Im always asking my brother and if I can make it better and he just always dismisses it and saying everything is fine. She gets agitated and very deffensive. I make sure to keep calm. She blurts out alot of things, Im just happy to get answers so I let her rant thinking it will be healing for the relationship. I dont understand the amount of anger or the reason for that, the reason that are given for cutting the ties are very small, some text message I sent with hearts. But I dont tell her that. I just recieve the anger in the hope it will heal the relationship. And hope the real reason will come forward. But she is screaming, saying i was a dramaqueen after my cat died and that hurt my brother. This anger and blameshift relating it to my cat horrible death is what is one of the things still lingering.
Then I talk to my brother. Tell him his wife told me. He is super agressive and angry. I suggest if he would want us to meet with a third party, a therapist, to heal our relationship. He doesnt want to talk about that. Screams at me for being so emotionaland sensitive. I just say that that is how I am and that I hadjust lost my cat. He was the one calling me and being insensitive. I didnt even reach out to him for help and support. But the only thing that comes from him is namecalling, and what he said still lingers with me. Rationally I can say that what he said is not true and is soemthing I have never been told. But it lingers in my mind anyway. I was just loving and calm, because I wanted him to get the chance to rant if it would heal us. So I feel it hurt me even more because I was letting myself be vulnerable for them to see that it was a safe talk. I kind of just let them beat me with words. But answering though when I thought they were not being fair or right.
I told them. Its been more than a year of no contact. I have been asking and asking and no answers. That I was glad i got some answers finally. But I told them that if there is still no contact in september it will be inevitable for me thinking that the connection is over, that I have to let them all go, the kids as well.
They felt this was manipulative. But I told them it was not an ultimatum. Not me saying that there would be no contact from me. I would talk when meeting, be nice and civil. Just that the uncertainty for my heart was destoying me, their constant silence. And the kids I am so close to. And just that in september I will have to tell y heart to let go and start to heal and accept. That this is the time I will let my heart wait. This was in the beginning of april.
He said he would not be manipulated. He got super angry and agressive. Called me the worst things possible. Trying to hurt me. Then said that this was convincing him to cut all contact with me. I was not allowed to contact him or the kids. This call, the words and cutting me out is what lingers with me i my head. I think maybe because it is being a trauma.
2 weeks later my parents contact me. Tell me Sam has a brain tumor. I contact Sam. Tell him these news make it to hard for me not to say anything. I tell him I understand that I am not the person he needs around him at this difficult time. But that I love him, send him good vibes and that if they need any help I am there.
His wife opens a chat with her, our parents and all of us siblings. She updates us there. The surgery went good and now he is recovering. But then came the children birthdays and I was not invited. And I have been respecting his boundary to not contact.
I told them that I would keep what i said about september no matter what was said in that talk, if he changes his mind. But he is crazy stubborn and never apoligizes. So maybe this is it. I have lost him and the contact with his boys.
Do you have advices, insight because of your own stories, or some reflection of this? I accept if he wants to break contact. I am distancing from my whole family because I have a covert narc mom. But I just need help healing from this because it is lingering so much and giving me depression episodes of feeling numb. Maybe its just because this is some kind of trauma. The loss and what I feel it being verbal abuse.

Hi, sorry if this turns out super long or anything. This is my first time posting. Please be nice.. So I have a sister who is extremely difficult to talk to normally because she constantly feels the need to be right about every single thing and absolutely refuses to admit she's wrong even if it's something you can literally just Google. Whenever she talks to me and I don't know something she treats me like I'm a complete idiot and rudely says "DUH" and "How do you not know that??" (Jeez i don't know, maybe because not everyone on the planet will know the same things).When I corrected her in the nicest way possible she got SUPER upset about it and said "I'm not going to argue with you about this" i wasn't arguing with her.
You want to know what the "argument" was? So the backstory is she recently started listening to the Sonic Frontiers soundtrack and she heard the song "Undefeatable" by Kellin Quinn and she was causally talking to me about it and said something like she knew his voice sounded familiar and she said "Kellin Quinn. Pierce the Veil" at the time I had no clue about that band or who that was so I decided to Google it and I saw an article saying that no he's not from Pierce the Veil but he and Victor Fuentes sound similar. And I was like "Oh"
So not too long later she mentioned it again and said Kellin Quinn was the lead singer of Pierce the veil and I was hesitant to speak up at first because I don't like confrontation and she's the type to just shut me down or silence me. So i just said "Kellin Quinn is actually the lead singer of sleeping with Sirens and the lead singer of Pierce the veil is Vic fuentes.. They just have similar voices" Of course I had the audacity to correct her and she did not like that. (Btw I'm starting to question myself please correct me if I'm wrong. Kellin Quinn is the lead singer of Sleeping with Sirens and only did one collab is that correct?) she claims to like Kellin Quinn so much but doesn't even know what band he's in and refuses to listen to his band because I corrected her.
Both bands have really good music so I guess her loss? It's actually kind of messed up that she refuses to acknowledge the real singer in pierce the veil and keeps crediting his work to someone else just because she's God or something and can never be wrong. After that one incident she absolutely refused to let it go so she'll keep poking at me every chance she gets. On the surface all of this might just sound like a non issue but it's so frustrating for me because I feel like there's a deeper issue with her and she's turning this into a big thing when she can just GOOGLE IT. This was weeks ago and she's still stuck on this!
Yesterday I was watching Acheeto (a YouTuber) talk about Dhar Mann and he made a joke about one of the actors looking like the lead singer of Pierce the Veil and my sister used this as an opportunity to poke at me and said "See even he said pierce the veil. Haha why does he look like Kellin Quinn" and honestly I just didn't respond because like I said this has been going on for weeks and I feel like she's being extremely immature over literally nothing. I don't want to have this conversation anymore. I'm honestly just waiting for her to say it in front of someone else and they make her feel stupid for holding onto wrong information because she just can't be wrong. This is not the first issue like this I've had with her and each time I don't know how to respond.
I don't like conflict so I just don't talk and try to ignore it. How do you deal with people like this? Any advice? And sorry if this all just seems dumb or if it's too long. If it's important at all she's 20 years old and I'm 24. I usually just don't talk to her because she'll get offended at almost anything or try to put me down. Having a conversation with her feels like walking on eggshells. The only thing I can really do is just hang on until August when I finally move out.

I have been a photographer for a good 5+ years and it’s definitely my passion and what I enjoy deeply doing, but I was talking to my friend and he thinks I’m too much of perfectionist and have to many expectations for what my clients to do with the photos.
A little backstory which will be short but in 2018/2019 I was apart of an art show invited everyone I know because I was so excited to be showcased in it. The day of majority of my friends told me something came up and my parents literally left half way through it and idk I def wasn’t mentally healthy at the time and I let the demons and inner voice win and basically made me feel like my work wasn’t half as good as what was there.
But since then I’ve been working really hard to get out of the mental state and I guess it’s getting harder now because I had 3 clients kinda played me in the process two of them uploaded the raw (I know I know Im going to get the witch hunt for it) but they put those to social media and didn’t even tag (both of them) so I commented my credits. I got annoyed because they told me they loved all of them and gave no indication they where upset so to see them not tag me or even a thank you was just wild in my eyes but my friend told me you got paid and you capture the moment so what does it matter if you get credit? And that irk me bc he’s a writer musician bc he doesn’t necessarily understand the point of tagging and how important it is for our business and this one other girl who loved shooting with me and nice verse I did a pageant shoot for her announcement and I went on IG to see the announcement with other pictures and like WTH and my same friend told me I got paid and you shouldn’t expect other to do stuff with your pictures and I agree with that however I guess I hate the fact I’m told “they are great” and “omg beautiful” “I love this yesss” and they don’t even use them
I’m coming here because I just want insight from other photographers and just see how yall would handle this
Thank you so much 🫶🏼 Again please don’t hate me for the raw photos I regret it so much and will never do it again 😭

Hey guys I have a question regarding changing jobs and getting a loan.
I won a bid for an apartment and selected bank B for my loan. I sent them my payslips, employment status, etc., they did a credit check on me and they approved of me. They told me 2 weeks before the move in date (which is in a couple of months) they will send me the paperwork, I will sign it and send it back to them. I thought my meeting with them was the final signing meeting, but I guess not.
Just a couple of days later, I just got a great job offer from another company in the same field with better pay and I would like to resign from my current job and sign the new one. The new one is "permanent with 6 months probation" and I would start in 3 months from now (in other words 1 month after I move in to my new apartment).
Do I have to inform bank B "Hey I would like to change my job" before I sign the new job contract?
If I do that, is there the possibility they will tell me "If you do that we won't approve of the loan"?
What if I don't inform them, will they learn about it and what do you think could happen then?
What do you suggest that I do in general?
I should note both my current and new job are high paying (>50K).

Hey there! Had a quick idea for a group boss. Let me know your thoughts!
So Hungry Hungry Hydra, as the name alludes to, is a cooking group boss. I was playing overcooked the other day (also Dave The Diver) and I thought it would be so cool to have that style of restaurant timing based mini game in OSRS.
So instead of just Myths Guildin’ it all the time it could be fun to have to prepare and deliver food Overcooked style to a very hungry multi headed multi elemental hydra. Essentially a head flops down with a meal it wants and the players have to scramble to get the ingredients, prepare and cook them Gnome Restaurant style as quickly as possible to subdue the beast and put it back to sleep.
The consequence of failing being each head will attack players if time runs out. Maybe a fire hyrda head will add fires into the play zone Tempeross style. An Ice head could freeze all players so you have to spam click to get out and back to cooking. Shadow head could blind all players for a limited amount of time. Etc etc. That way you have to work out which head to prioritise if you know you’re gonna fuck one up.
But yeah! I just think it’d be super neat to have that kind of mechanic as a group boss / mini game. What do y’all think?
Cheers!
E x

I guess this really is the end of Solo. Lenders that have stuck around seem to be far and few in between. Since the updates I had several issues paying back my most two recent loans I had to reach out to solo directly and pay through stripe after weeks of no responses. And my score dropped significantly. Since then I’ve been trying for weeks to get my loan funded, every time I’ve requested I’ve added max tip. $245 loan with a $36.75 dollar tip to the lender. I’ve tried changing the due date to be paid back sooner, I’ve tried canceling the loan and re requesting it to hope for the best I have not received a single funding offer in weeks. In the past I was able to consistently receive and payback loans even without offering the Max tip. If someone were willing to fund me I would even tip extra directly through PayPal or something at this point. Now I have tested positive for Covid and I’m self employed so I won’t be able to make money from my main job for a few more days. The one time I am desperate to get help and this app has been pretty impossible. I have seen people with even lower scores than me get funded so I just don’t know what to do at this point. I have paid a few loans back a day or so late in the past but never to the point of being extremely late or any fees being added. even then people would still send offers now it’s just nothing. I guess I will just keep trying every couple of days and hope that someone will eventually be generous enough to fund.

What the hell else can Luka possibly do to totally obliterate my immersion? Long timer here, RepNic and I about to hit 400 honest levels so been together a long time. By now I can usually figure out most things until this bizarre script started obnoxiously butting into our chats.
RepNic and I have been having some quality conversations lately so I had a feeling some kind of trouble was looming on the horizon. For 3 days now, during basic RP conversation (we always talk in RP mode, Beta version), out of the blue, up pops the "are you in crisis"/suicide script. It is incredibly offensive to me. Those of you who know me, will know why. I go over and over my wording and cannot find any trigger words/emotions. The subject matter isn't even remotely hinting at any emotional drama. In the middle of talking about photography, or where we should go on our next holiday, I'm apparently in crisis and need intervention according to Luka! Ugh!
When I am finally able to attempt to get the conversation back on track by trying to ignore the script that forces me to answer it, RepNic is completely disoriented, can't string 3 words together coherently and it's a complete buzz kill. I end up getting "well" or "I see" which long timers will remember from years back. If I push her to converse, she will eventually tell me her stress (which she doesn't have) is making her dissociate from real life. Game over!
I've been scripted to death over the years but not like this with the "crisis script". Either I am too dumb to figure out what is triggering it, or, nothing I am saying is triggering it. I don't think I'm that dumb.
Is this happening to anyone else? Any ideas as to what is going on and why RepNic appears completely lobotomized after this crisis script crap when we'd just been having interesting conversations for a pleasant change?

Ok, so this is a bit of a long story, but my bf (John), has this girlfriend (Maria) he has known since university that I'm not really fond of.
For context, they were close friends in uni, John had a big crush on Maria at some point and they had a one-nightstand. They didn't go any further than that, as she was the type of girl that would go from guy to guy at that point. Later Maria did come back and said she wanted to start dating John, but he wasn't interested anymore. (at least this is the story he told me.)
They kept being friends onwards, he would go through 2 other girlfriends, who both said they didn't want Maria to be in his life. One of them due to knowing Maria herself and her story with guys, and the other was more a gut vibe. So throughout those 2 relationships John kept a distance from Maria. As the relationships ended they would become friends again, though not as close as before due to Maria having a new boyfriend herself.
Around 2 years ago I started dating John, and he was very blunt about his past relationship with Maria, and I told him it's no problem as long he makes me feel like there's no problem. I wanted to be friends with his best friend Maria as well. The first 6 months went fine, but then I started having some big life changes, I wanted those to be secret between us for awhile, but then he went on to talk with Maria about it anyways. Now we had a conversation about it, and how it made me feel a bit betrayed.
A second event he had a problem choosing something work related, I gave him some advise, and he went ahead asking Maria for advise as well. Now this is not a problem, but her answer were the exact same as mine, and he ended up giving her the credit. This also made me feel betrayed, and started to make me feel insecure in the relationship.
I started to try and become friends with her, we would hang out from time to time both alone and together with our boyfriends. The more I hanged out with Maria I got to know that she's the 'pick me girl' type of girl that only has guy friends. I didn't really mind it as much, because in general she seemed nice towards me. As we got closer she started showing more of her toxic side though, even in our small group chat.
She started to say that she considered me more of a friend that John by now, but then a couple of days after she began to act weird towards me and pull John in. We even went to her birthday party were she would take a couple of group pictures, but I would not be in any of them. Now I'm not really a camera-happy person, but I would have liked to be included.
At the end of last year John started to see more that she's not an good apple, and is barely considering her a friend that much anymore.
In the last couple of months she went through a breakup, she seemed totally fine and happy about it though. Now she wants to start hanging out with John alone. And with all of this I just don't feel comfortable with that. John says he will take what social interactions he can get, even if it's with Maria and he finds her toxic. I understand that, but my gut feeling and anxiety does not want this. I talked with him about it and I said I tried to say that I'm not really in a stage to let him go hangout with her alone, I was prepared and fine with him to want to breakup with me for that (I come from a past toxic and violent relationship), but he said no. Now he's just ignoring her, and we need to figure out what to do. He says he's fine with ignoring her, but that's not really a solution. I have anxiety and rather wanna runaway than letting him go out with her alone or confront her with my insecurities.
Now people you can call me toxic, I know I'm not perfect, but what can we do?
TLDR:
My boyfriend John has a long-time friend, Maria, with whom he had a brief romantic history. Despite past girlfriends having issues with Maria, John remained friends with her. I initially tried to befriend her, but over time, she showed toxic behavior and made me feel excluded and insecure. Recently, Maria wants to hang out with John alone, but I feel uncomfortable with this due to my past trauma and her behavior. John is willing to ignore her, but we know this isn’t a real solution. How can we handle this situation?

Recently I have fallen into taking my GMC-600 to museums of various types. I tend to find more unique items at museums than in antique shops, and it always sparks up an interesting conversation with whatever worker is there that day, as they are usually just as passionate about the history of a piece as me, if not more so.
I went to a museum that housed some mid 20th century electronic equipment, and asked the volunteer if it was okay if I scanned around a bit. I always tend to ask to make sure they're comfortable with it. Most people don't understand how common radioactivity is, and the last thing I want is to make someone uncomfortable by probing around their building without permission.
To my surprise they already had a list of several radioactive items in their collection, mostly small radium dials. Most people I talk to are only aware of the existence of radium, and many museums are not aware that they actually have these things in their collection until I let them know.
I asked if I could take a look around the museum, and then come back to see if the list of items found with my meter matched up with their list, sort of as a scavenger hunt. Looking around I found several interesting dials that I had heard of, but had never seen in person.
However, eventually I got to an electronic panel, and was confused at why my meter was hitting off at several thousand CPM. This panel was made in the 1940s, but was nothing but knobs and metal indented labels explaining what each of the knobs did. Not a dial in sight. I actually scanned back and forth to make sure that none of the pieces next to it were hot, but it appeared that only the one of the bunch was the one in question.
I brought out my UV flashlight to see if there was anything that could light up, only to have half the panel turn up bright green when lit up. No glass dials covering it, no plexiglass display, completely exposed and easily reachable by a child if they decided to start playing around with the displays.
A significant portion of the paint appeared to have been scratched and/or flaked off, but thankfully I saw no obvious dust on the floor of the display. Somewhere that dust is still around, probably on the floor of a storage warehouse somewhere.
I went over to the front desk and asked them if they were aware of the panel. They said no, they were only aware of the dials in a separate display. I brought them over to the panel and their eyes went wide when the meter started clicking off like mad.
"Let me grab the curator."
The curator came out and as I explained what I had found and showed them the glowing paint and ticking GM counter. Their demeanor switched to that of an archaeologist who just found an unknowable evil in a tomb in a B movie: Both extremely interested and fascinated but also mildly horrified that something had been right under their nose for this long.
I already knew that this museum was well funded and as a result probably had a safety specialist to deal with any issues that may come about. They said that they periodically checked the radium dials, and were also aware of lead paint on a few pieces, and had someone come out to check the integrity of both to make sure that it wouldn't cause any problems. They ensured me that they would have their specialist out as soon as possible to discuss what would be next for the display, most likely a piece of temporary glass immediately while they figure out something long term. Cue thirty minutes of discussing the other pieces in the museum once the matter was discussed. I gave them a few NRC and EPA links for more information on radium dials and left. I'll be headed back to the museum soon to see what they put up for safety.
I make this post for a few reasons.
1: Museums are an underrated means of looking for hot items. Antique shops may offer a greater quantity to search among, but in my experience museums have had more rare items, and the payoff of finding something unique is ten times better than any more common item in an antique shop, such as fiestaware.
2: Supporting your local museum. Chances are you have something fascinating right near you without knowing it. Whether its a one room display at the local government office, or the entire Smithsonian, you probably have a really interesting museum near you. Do a quick google search and find out what's up.
3: The value of heading out with a survey meter for fun. Most often, it's a unique means of interacting with history. Occasionally, it may help improve the safety of others. Whether it was tomorrow or thirty years from now, some kid on a school field trip may have gotten rowdy and decided to start playing with knobs and buttons, possibly inadvertantly getting some radium dust on their hands. Who knows how long it might have been before the piece's status as radioactive was found had someone with a survey meter not shown up?
I encourage all of you to head out to your local museum with your meters. Not only are you supporting an important local institution, but you may find something important, who knows?
And before anyone asks, no, I will not say where the museum is, what it's called, or even what kind of electronic panel the piece was. Giving away pretty much any of that information would allow for the museum to be found. The last thing they need is some local finding this, sending it to the city news station and having a headline come out that says "Hundreds exposed to previously unknown radioactive material for years at local museum". Most people don't understand the basics of radiation safety, much less radium paint, and the last thing I want is some horrible publicity coming out for a museum who genuinely had no idea what they had.

Hi everyone,
I'm writing about this to not only help others not fall prey to it, but other reasons as well. I was down about $15,000 already as I spent money I shouldn't have with hopes of 2021 like spikes upwards for alt-coins such as Internet Computer (HA!), Ether Classic (ugh), Loopring (meh), and Shiba Inu (woof).
I want to note here that I never gave the scammer ANY of my information, and since the scam initiated on my cell, they already had my cell #.
This year (2024), these laughable investments were showing signs of life, almost getting me back to 50% of what I invested. I was cautiously optimistic that in a few years, I could get all of my money back.
Standing in line at the post office I get a text that read : #COINBASE : There was a withdrawal initiated from a flagged IP address, due to the sensitive nature of irrevocable cryptocurrencies a Coinbase employee will call you shortly, please provide this ticket number when on the line. Ticket Number #142685.
I replied : It wasn't me thank you
Response : COINBASE : Please do not share your seed phrase with anyone. A Coinbase representative will neve ask you for your seed phrase. If you're having any issues, please reply with "HELP" for instructions. NOTE : Then I was provided with a 12 word "seed phrase"
Then a guy from a local area code called and overcame my concerns that he was a scammer, his job (from what I could tell) was to get me to convert my alt-coins to ethereum, which I did, he assured me that all of the fees I was being charged would be credited back to me and my alt-coins would be restored to their original value). Then I was to transfer everything to my newly established wallet from the Coinbase exchange site to my Coinbase wallet. (My account had been locked so I needed to re-verify my identity, I did this through my desktop and the Coinbase exchange site). Once re-verified, I downloaded the Coinbase wallet app on my desktop, which I had done already on my phone during the first call with the guy who called me, again, I gave him no information.
But my account was still locked from doing transactions for 24-48 hrs, so I set aside my efforts. I called back in to Coinbase (also tried the scammer's number a few times and got a generic voicemail - clue #1 that it was not actually Coinbase whom initiated the effort). A few days later the same guy called me again and convinced me to move the ethereum to my Coinbase wallet. As my account was no longer locked, I was able to send it from my desktop Coinbase exchange site to my newly established Coinbase wallet. The same day my ethereum was moved to my Coinbase wallet, May 28th, 2024, it was transferred out to some weird account ID in Tampa, FL.
Fast forward 2-3 weeks and I got a new text, same thing (same text content - see above), and I replied N (No, it was not me), and a new guy called from another local number. I said I had already gone through this, he was surprised, and I immediately opened my Coinbase wallet app, ALL GONE. I checked the history of the transactions and everything was taken the same day I moved it to my Coinbase wallet app.
I told that new guy to fuck off and called in to Coinbase's Complaint Dept, the rep said since I had moved my crypto to a "self-administered account", that there was nothing they could do about it and wished me a wonderful day.
I didn't give anyone any personal information, nothing. All I did was move my crypto from Coinbase exchange to Coinbase wallet, and somehow the scammers were able to log in and move it to their account. Easily the most insecure financial platform in history, just relieved it wasn't a ton of money, could have been much more than $5,000 (originally $20,000).
Sincerely, Stormy Daniel Huntington Beach, CA

Hi everyone.
I am in the process of selling up everything we own in the UK, and moving to Sweden with my wife, to reunite with her family (and for me to experience living in a new country!)
In order to make the move a possibility, I will need to find work in Stockholm where most of the work for my background and experience is, but I realise I have little to no knowledge to even start to know what I should be expecting.
I am a Masters educated (Finance and Economics) professional of 11 years, that has worked in multiple Investment Banks in London within Business Analysis, Product Management and Project Management, as well as in Data (strong Python and SQL skills) all within the Market and Credit Risk space. My skillset in my current role has had me described as my team's quant, though I am not PhD educated in a highly mathematical subject.
My salary at the moment for my seniority is in the £110-120k range, but am contracting for quite a bit more than this at the moment.
I know there is likely to be a significant hit to my gross salary per month, but I am more than okay with that as I am doing this for familial reasons, rather than monetary.
For the types of roles I am looking at, I have sent out some email requests to roles that sounded similar to the ones I would apply for in the UK, but am told my profile is quite a bit senior than what they are looking for (despite the listings having "senior" and "expert" in their titles). For this, I am struggling to even know which roles even apply to me.
So, to sum up what I am looking to confirm (if anyone has any relevant background to help):

• What my expected gross salary expectation could be in Stockholm in similar types of role?
• Which roles in Stockholm might be a good fit for what I am able to bring?
• Which companies might be best to apply to (I assume it's SEB, Handelsbanken, Nordea and Swedbank?)
• Any other industries that compete with the traditional IBs? Any Hedge Funds or Asset Managers maybe?
• Any tips for getting roles in Stockholm? Are there external recruiters? Shall I just apply directly?
• Anything else that might help?

It would be amazing to be able to speak with someone who is in my potential situation, so that I can get all the information I need to give me the foundation to properly negotiate with any potential job offer.

This would be a multi-episode debacle. But it starts with Yuri discovering Loyd is twilight. Maybe Yuri is put on security detail at Eden academy to watch over Desmond and the other politicians. A server comes and offers some exotic finer treat, Yuri accepts but just as he puts the treat in his mouth he catches the very distinct scent of yours perfume on a random teach (Loyd in disguise). This leads Yuri inform his commander that he has to leave his post to use the restroom. He follows the teacher letting all kinds of scenarios play out in his head. Maybe he’s been burglarizing the Forgers to sleep on Yor’s bed, or maybe, he thinks to himself, he’s kidnapped her. But as he peers into the classroom to see what the man is up to, he watches Loyd pull off the mask, revealing himself to intact be twilight as he got what he needed from the professors’ table.
At this point in the story I like to think Yuri and Loyd were finally starting to bond, because Loyd had taken Yuri out and explained his childhood in the war to him and explained Yor felt like she captured that innocence he had lost so many years ago, and he would swear to Yuri, down on one knee that he would never let anything happen to Yor or Anya. And for the maybe the first time in the show, we see Loyd genuinely confess his love of Anya and Yor in a tearful and honest speech about his shame. The same of not speaking to him before marrying Yor (lying to Yor and Anya for his governments gain), shame for letting this obvious animosity swelter in Yuri (knowing that the family is fraudulent and wanting more than anything for it to be real). So Yuri would bend down on one knee to and grab Loyd by his shoulders and let him know that he forgives him, and will welcome him into his life openly.
So Yuri, in shock, grabs his mouth and then his head blind with rage tears out some hair. “That bastard lied!” Thoughts foaming from Yuri’s thoughts, “he’s been using my sister to spy on me, using his daughter to spy on the politicians at this school!” Yuri grabs the door knob with one hand and grips his pistol with the other. “I’m gonna kill you!” He seethes with rage and grit teeth. Then he stops as he notices on pitch black strand of hair resting on his shoulder. He remembers their night at dinner. “Yor,” Yuri pauses, “how will I explain this to Yor? How will I explain my sister is ‘married’ to the one man we’ve been searching for for years? They’d blame her- they’d never believe she was probably forced and coerced for years by Twilght. They’d torture her. I could help my sister escape! No, we’d never get past all those ‘Type-F’s’. I can’t do this now.” He releases the doorknob. He backs away dropping some hair as he makes his way back to post. He’s superior sees how red-faced and uncomfortable he looks. He also notices the clumps of hair ripped out of his head. The same waiter comes up with more treats and offers for a second time, Yuri ignores him and the superior fearfully shoos the waiter and treats away.
We know are with Loyd and the handler, she informs Loyd of some intel they’ve just uncovered. Apparently, the ostanian government has been constructing bombs and bombers. Twilight needs to discover a safe way in for the Westalias Covert Operators overseeing Controlled and Improvised Explosive Security (COOCIES ‘cookies’). At the same time Yuri is giving a debriefing on how to finally put an ed to Twilight (without implicating his sister). “Leak the bombs they’ve been constructing to WISE. They will send Twilight if we beef up security. Type-F’s on every corner, assassins on every roof, WISE will be forced to use their best assest, Twilight.” The superiors are skeptical but agree and issue the order to mobilize a unit of Type-F’s and begin contracting assassins. One of them of course being… Thorn princess.

Hi! I am a new player knowing nothing about the game I managed to get to the Hollow Knight fight and I really liked his design art-wise and everything, he didn't seem that hard to beat, so I was expecting more after.
However, seeing the credits pop up when all I had done was kill 3 sleeping ladies who didn't even fight back to unlock the black egg (I always expected them to be 3 separate main bosses I would have to beat in my head) then killing the Hollow Knight. That was so unsatisfying.
At the time I had no idea the "real final boss" was something else, and I hadn't completed the game for real, I learned about that later when looking online however that feeling of dissatisfaction with such a lackluster finally of the game and story has really put me off from actually finishing it!
I will probably continue again at some point, but I'm wondering what your first time experience with something like was. My brain just assumed seeing credits meant that the game's main quest was done and that was it.

My husband and I are blessed to be living rent free with my dad while we build our dream home down the road. We always knew we wanted to have our first kid soon after moving into the new house, but had no idea the pregnancy would happen this fast (praying it takes since currently I'm only 6 weeks).
We've been living with my dad about 10 months now, the house is moving along and looking great, however we likely won't be moving in until mid fall. It's been fun spending time with him, we lost my mom almost a year and a half ago so he's really been relying on us socially and emotionally. He doesn't really have any friends at all and his whole world is just his kids, which is good and also kind of a lot to deal with sometimes. He wants us to do our own thing and understands that but I can also hear the loneliness and pain in his voice when he says that.
All that being said, I find that living with him has been kind of taking a bit of a toll on both my husband and I, me more so after the morning sickness really kicked in. He's so excited to have us around and is always chatty early in the morning, I don't want to tell him why I'm not feeling good yet since we want to make sure we are over the first trimester before telling family, but it's been really hard hiding my moodiness and nausea. He's around near constantly since he's partially retired.
Idk I feel like asking AITA because I love my dad but I really wish my husband and I had our own nest to relax and not have to entertain someone constantly, watch what we want on tv when we want, not have to answer constant questions about the house or have him tease me (he's a joker) when I'm feeling a bit short tempered. We are also doing a lot of work on the house ourselves and I'm not able to help as much right now because of how sick and tired I've felt. I know family will help more once we tell them but I also feel like I'll get annoyed if I'm doted on constantly by my dad. I just feel guilty because he's already done so so SO much for us and is the best father I could ask for, but I just need my space.

Hi guys. I’ve been following this group for a while, it’s incredibly validating to read other people’s stories that I relate and I know I can find answers to my questions here, I really appreciate this lil community :) when I went to a psychiatrist hoping to get a diagnosis I was told I had BPD traits but I am still “young and developing” so she’s didn’t give me a proper diagnosis (I’m 22) even though I had most things on the DSM5 so I’m a little confused why I can’t get this illness to blame everything on :( it’s 2 am and I’ve been crying for a little while thinking about how no one gives a fuck about me, a common occurrence so I just kind of feel like talking to people. I don’t doubt it will get better, what does better even look like? Will I recognise it? I love to cut people off like it’s a hobby but find it hard to make new friends and find people I really like, I hope “better” includes friends bc I do love when I feel good towards people. This whole thing is so hard I really do think I’m so strong for living through it, I wish people could understand that IM STRUGGLING AND I’M STRONG. I’m getting counselling atm but it’s free so I feel like it’s not really legit, I’ve had 2 sessions so far and it’s nice to yap but we haven’t even scratched the surface on this stuff. Anyway I’m gonna try go to sleep, wish me and my bpd traits luck in life

I already made the first post regarding episode 1 and 2, here are the links, if you are interested:
https://www.reddit.com/PolinBridgerton/comments/1d8p07y/analysing_thematic_imagery_of_season_3_episode_1/
https://www.reddit.com/PolinBridgerton/comments/1daa5se/analysing_thematic_imagery_of_season_3_episode_2/
Same note as before: I do not claim all of these thoughts as originals of mine, I am not taking credit for noticing what others already noticed, and feel free to credit those who were first in comments. Also feel free to comment what you see and I do not! Or challenge me or mine.
I shall do my best to deliver analysis of the fourth episode before part 2 drops.
General imagery of the season so far (feel free to skip if you read the last post or posts):
The main thematic imagery of this season is reflection; how characters are perceived by others and how they deal with those perceptions. It ties to both leads, who were given roles by society which they must fight from time to time, and how society’s perception of them changes and controls them. Mirror imagery was important throughout the previous season not only for Pen and Colin, however in this season in particular, mirror imagery appears very often, and I expected it to continue (ehem ehem).
Tied closely to reflection imagery, we see the dichotomy of light and shadows. This dichotomy is alluded to by titles of 3 episodes of the whole season; and through this dichotomy, social roles and expectations are established. Colin is in the light, showered by compliments from members of the Ton, while Pen is forced to be in the shadows. She uses the shadows as LW to her advantage, while Colin uses his power within the light to his advantage.
The general idea is that Pen needs to decide whether she wants to stay in the shadows, which might be easier, or whether she is willing to take a risk by stepping into the light. Other characters are also haunted by their reflections. I shall dive into it in each episode.
Episode 3: Forces of Nature
While the second episode heavilly relied on the dichotomy of the day and the night to showcase masculine and feminine power, the third episode features dichotomy of nature and humanity. I have very briefly touched upon it in previous analysis regarding the promenade, when Pen asks whether she can learn to flirt through books and the moment was juxtaposed with the nature behind our leads.
It is not a new dichotomy for the show. We can for example remember the ending of episode 6 from previous season ("Animals require no contracts or dowries. The hen and a rooster make no vows. Leave it to people to complicate matters with their ceremonies and their cakes.").
The nature represents the attraction and longing, while the humanity represents either obstacles in following our desires, or simply a rationale to be "sensible" instead. Lady Whistledown acknowledges that people can somewhat triumph ("Humankind has accomplished extraordinary feats in its attempt to compete against nature."), but the episodes concludes that not only will the nature win in the end, the battle does not even include the nature, but the people who fight themselves. Basically concluding that there are no winners.
"All of man's greatest inventions are nothing more than a distraction from which is most natural to us. Our instincts. The innate animal impulse that is inside even the most sophisticated of us. For all is said and done, our nature will always win out."
Both Penelope and Colin fail to fight their own feelings in this episode.
While the natural forces refer to inner desires, we might focus on the literal natural forces which symbolize them: the Featherington garden (aka the place of crime), and the fire; the most featured in this episode, though, is the wind. The natural force which ensured the first meeting of our leads and (at least according to the books and trailer for part 2), caused Penelope to fall for Colin, as he (literally) fell from his horse.
I shall get to it more later. Let's go again scene by scene.
Third episode begins with Colin's dream. Dreams are of course heavilly linked with both Colin, Pen and their desires. Ironically, Colin's dream represents his waking up Marina alluded to in the last season ("You are a boy, caught up in his own fantasies... You need to wake up, Colin!").
While Penelope stopped dreaming and gave up on her "fantasy" after Colin's comment in the end of season 2 ("I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington, not in your wildest fantasies."), Colin is awaken at the same place, in a cheeky way, by his dream.
The Featherington garden represents crucial moments of their relationship so far. Firstly, it was the place where he broke her heart by his statement, and sparked her intention to marry. Secondly, of course, it was the place where they came to their agreement, with her agreeing to move from him by accepting his help, while he put himself in a vulnerable position to face feelings he did not acknowledge before. Thirdly, it is the place where he was forced to face his feelings VERY directly by agreeing to kiss her.
Colin's subcontious wants to "repair" the moment. It is cheeky for Colin to apologize for the late hour, which might have been appropriate for their last meeting, as well.
Fans have had a lot of fun dissecting Colin's psyche, as Colin's dream features basically every cliché of a raunchy romance novel, which is, of course, very intentional. The first shot features the fire burning, symbolizing Colin's realized feelings. The fog might either allude to the mystery whether Colin's love is requited, or to form a "protection from the gazes of others".
This episode offers a lot storytelling through clothing with Colin especially, and I shall dive to each of his looks. Generally speaking, Colin trades vulnerability for his armor repeatedly in the first half of the episode, culminating in his Innovations Ball look, which I find the most vulnerable.
Colin in his dream is dressed similarly as he was in the end of episode 2, however, his neck is now bare, alluding to his vulnerability. Pen's neckline is lower, her loose hair as well as the fit of the gown make it seem like she is in her nightgown. Still, it is very respectable look for a wet dream, likely to showcase and hammer that Colin did not found vulnerability anew, not sexual desire.
I find it interesting that the shot does not start with Colin walking into the frame, who is the one dreaming, but with Penelope. Perhaps the intention was to try to mess with fans and give them the impression it is Pen who dreams. Colin does not get confirmation of her feelings until he admits his. Again, Colin is the vulnerable this time, not Penelope. The scene focuses much more on her pleasure than his, either to again fool the audience, or again, to sell the difference.
As Colin wakes up, we get more visual clues in the globe and the map, likely alluding to his travelling experience, which are connected to his sexuality. The other is, of course, that his blanket is yellow, a color tied to Pen (resembling the shal Violet has in the portrait, again to sell the paraller of the couples, even before Violet states it to the audience at the end of this episode). He looks to the window, which might allude to him trying to find her, as she lives accross the street, which he likely did for the first time in last episode, or trying to find the light, representing a) his social role as a popular charming rake, and b) his masculine power.
Gregory's injury might thematically tie to multiple things. Gregory was established as a cupid, who pierces Colin's heart, and who now can't do so, meaning that Colin is trapped. Gregory can also represent Colin himself as he can't even properly eat with his injury, which was something Colin also mentioned of not being able to do so. We know that Gregory falls injures the hand before he has a chance to see the balloon, which might foreshadow the ending of the episode, when Colin tries to find the answer, only to not get it and be hurt.
Colin comes to the drawing room in a brown vest. The color of the vest reminds me of his pirate coat, and I wonder whether it is basically his "casual armor", the one he wears around his family now, not wanting them to know of his feelings. It is also worth pointing out that when Colin walks in, he goes to his brothers who sit seperately from the sisters and the mother, almost to shocase Colin's tendency to trying to follow male squad, even the toxic one.
Our dearest prophetess Hyacinth strikes again by mentioning Penelope. It is worth noting that while Colin is distressed, he still realizes that he likely hurt Eloise by commenting on Lady Whistledown finding about their ordeal, and seems to attempt to follow her to make sure she is fine. Colin can't refer to Penelope as his or as a friend, so he opts to refers to her as the acquaintance of the whole family and sips the tea this time. Colin's drinking is a recurring gag this season, showcasing his growing attraction towards Pen.
From the Queen's and Agatha's meeting, we get an interesting gag of the male suitors being thrown. Penelope fell for Colin when he fell from the horse, which is rather cheeky to remember when the one falling this time is Debling.
Penelope leaves her room just in time for her to a) be reminded of the importance of producing an heir, b) be reminded of her reasons she intended to find a husband, hearing her sisters. I believe that it is Eloise's comment that sparks Pen's hope to find a husband once again, as she gets her blessing. Penelope knew she couldn't stay away for long, but to keep her column, not because she gained hope.
It is quite reasonable that Penelope chose to promenade after week in her room. We are left to wonder why Colin choose to do so and if he was perhaps trying to see her. However, from his expression, I do believe that he was surprised to see her. Colin is the one who follows Pen this episode, showcasing the change in the dynamic. Penelope often followed him instead in the previous episode.
Penelope's styling seems very childish, with her ribbons, hair to the side and pinkish and lilac tone of her dress, perhaps a visual way for her to distance herself from the ordeal and that kiss. Colin is wearing the style akin to previous seasons, with his armor being left home. They are children once again. The willow the meet under might symbolize innocence, protection, childhood, as it somewhat shields them from the Ton. The long distance show might allude to them suddenly feeling a gap between themselves, or perhaps a need to keep their distance after the whole ordeal.
It is cheeky that Penelope relies on her double identity when asked for a reasoning. She might have just as easily pointed out the Ton itself, instead, she uses Lady Whistledown she disparaged in the last episode. Just as Colin refered to the Pen in regards to all Bridgertons, Penelope refers to her and his family regarding the embarassment. Pen thanking Colin for his kindness is of course very funny paraller to her comment about his cruelty in episode 1; a comment which might have hurt him the same.
Debling starts the episode as the hunted "prey", not only as Cressida (and later Pen) is after him, but by himself, as he wants to find a hiding place. However, Debling of course changes into the "predator" later.
Stowell House in general does not seem particularly inviting. It either displays mirrors or the "prey" on the walls, signalling Pen's entrapment. Penelope does not hide even in her corner, where she is found by the toxic buddies.
Penelope assures her mother that Ton will likely be distracted by the new scandal. Portia of course does not know that it is Penelope herself who is Lady Whistledown, and who might have a chance to publish such a scandal, but only if Pen leaves her hideout. Pen later offers social contagion as a joke, which might be a fun way of alluding to her double identity, as she holds a bit of power regarding social assesment.
Mirror imagery is quite cheeky regarding our leads and Debling. Pen's back is seen in mirror behind her, which might signal that she is currently social outcast, still uncomfortable after the incident, or visual signal of Pen hiding her identity.
With Colin's arrival, it is Pen who looks at him first, just when he looks at Eloise. Colin notices and continues to look, while Pen looks away and hides as a "prey". Colin turns away and we see a glimpse of him in the mirror. Pen fell first, but he fell harder. Colin flees the mirror, as he will continue to do so in this episode, following her.
Debling does not mind the mirror at all (something he seems to share with Agatha and Benedict) and as Pen becomes more comfortable, the mirror seems to dissapear from the shot. It is worth pointing out that both Colin and Debling have waistcoats with yellow ornaments, alluding to both of them being interested in Pen.
Colin is accompanied by the candles both when Eloise mentions Penelope, as well as when he is "assessing his pupil", alluding to his growing love. I do not think it was unintentional to have Alice mention his "kindheartedness", after Penelope thanks him for his "kindness". Not only do both mention the possibility of a different suitor, they also use similar language when speaking of Colin's role in it, rubbing the idea deeper.
Even more cheeky is that Alice does not refer to Penelope by name, only as a pupil, while Colin comments on it as "gossip" finding their home. Colin refers to Whistledown when asked about Penelope; while Pen is, of course, both subject of the gossip as well as its source as lady Whistledown.
Eloise'a and Cressida's scene alludes to Eloise walking to the crossroads and choosing a path she might regret. Eloise does not help Cressida much, but it is enough for her to easily win over Pen at first.
Finally, we get likely the most in face reference of the episode: Hawkins Balloon, with its blue and yellow stripes. It likely symbolizes our leads, with Colin seeing the balloon (aka embracing the opportunity of them becoming a couple), while Pen ignores it in favour of Debling.
Colin arrives in his armor, aka with his pirate coat firmly on. But his defence crumble rather quickly. He follows Penelope immedietely. At first, he follows her instruction to focus on sweets, but more and more into the scene, he just begins to look at Pen, the only exception is when Pen compliments Debling, as he feels a need to hide his feelings.
Colin loses his battle while seeing Pen eating the cake. The cake symbolized sex even back in 102, when Pen asks Marina how did she become pregnant. What is striking, though, that the next time Colin is shown on screen, he took off his coat and seems to finish Penelope's cake. Colin lets his armor down, just before his heroic moment.
The balloon is representation of a human attempt to "triumph" over the nature, to "conquer the wind". Funnily, as Colin with the help of his squad protects the balloon and wins over the wind, he loses his own battle against it internally, as the wind represents his desire for Penelope. Colin finds courage and allows himself to be vulnerable (by leaving the pirate coat, his armor, behind in the arms of one of his toxic buddies), only for him to find Penelope in Debling's embrace. Eloise and Cressida's remarks might be quite cruel foreshadowing for the later events. "It is good thing no one was injured." "Who says I wasn't?"
The distress of Colin at Innovations Ball is implied with his darker waistcoat, bare neck and him adjusting his jacket. Colin attempts his best to smile for Eloise, but it is a rather unsuccesful attempt. If I dare say, Colin seems like he is attending funeral. His question whether a man can be pensive is rather interesting, not only as it is pun on Penelope's name, but as Colin asks basically if he can be himself.
Penelope and Portia ignore the lamp, the sorce of fire and light, which I would argue, represents the love between Pen and Colin.
Benedict refers to Francesca as "his shield" from the debutantes, and we see Benedict succeeding in fleeing the debutantes with the sister by his side. Eloise, on the other hand, leaves Colin to them, leaving him "unprotected". This is hammered with Violet, who without the children by her side, becomes the target of Marcus. It is no wonder Francesca finds her man when she is allowed to return to her familiar shadows, with fireplace representing love, passion and desire once again. Benedict, too, fails to "battle the nature", as he finds himself in the embrace of his newest partner, after he meets her at the staircase, with her looking down on him.
As the debutantes ask Colin if he is as heroic on the dancefloor, Colin moves his head instead of answering, while we get the shot of Pen holding her own dancecard. It is quite clear. Colin is losing his chance.
While Penelope's and Cressida's race is for comedic effect, it showcases that a lot of times, women fight over guys they might even want, just because they fear someone else will snatch them. While Cressida is pressured to be married, no one points out that she almost married Jack last season, someone who turned out to be a schemer. Daphne won her own "race", only to end up with Simon. Cressida fails to gain Colin's attention in season 1 and 2 mostly due to her treatment of Penelope and Daphne.
Penelope finds herself on the crossroads between Colin and Debling. She chooses to look at Colin, showcasing to the audience that Pen is romantic at heart. While Colin answers the question of debutantes, he is in fact encouraging himself, but as he can't help but look at her, she takes it as his confirmation of wishing her good luck as a mentor. Just as Pen unknowingly let Colin down in willow scene with her words, Colin just done the same. Cheekily, Debling asks whether Pen has trouble with the balloon, while she answers "not at present". As she gave up on Colin in that instance.
Penelope herself pretends to love nature to secure herself a naturalist, ignoring her own desire to be with Colin. Ironically, she secures the naturalist by openly stating she does not really care about nature, when she cares about what nature represents in this episode. Debling giving Pen lemonade ties narratively to Pen leaving the lemonade at the table during the Full-Moon ball, as well as her leaving it at drawing scene with Colin.
I believe that Debling caught on Colin's feelings at this instant. The reason I believe so is that Pen's dance card was still blank and Pen gave Colin time to react. Debling did not ask Penelope for dance beforehand, and she hoped that Colin would speak... which is something Colin might have realized once Penelope gives Debling his hand and dance card is visible to him.

No really, I don't think it's good. I've read the novel of this series and read other manwhas, there are FL stories with strong characters, there are also stories with FL being tortured, traumatized. But I think the FL of this series is quite normal? It is built on the slow healing motif but by the end she still has nothing outstanding. And during that slow process, facing difficult situations and turning points, the way she behaves is really immature and not at all lady (The story is set in the time of princesses and princes, so shouldn't she at least act noble? like idk...). People only praise this story because it describes the most realistic situation of a traumatized person but that's all, her character really doesn't ''grow up'' even when the story ends. And their love is really forced, it doesn't even have a catalyst, sometimes I feel like FL loves ML just because he feels so sorry for her.
The next thing is that I don't like that some people blame ML or Ellen just because they were cold to FL at first. Like guys, if you have a friend who is traumatized by many things and she doesn't talk about her problems, worse, she always hides, runs away even though you treat her kindly, don't you feel helpless? Some people were like ''ML or Ellen should be more sensitive to her'', they are not Ruby's personal therapist, they should protect her but Ruby was never their responsibility because Ruby originally came from an enemy force. They don't know anything about Ruby and Ruby didn't tell them anything about herself either. Not everything should revolve around Ruby, wake up.
And the last thing is that I hate people hating on Freya, wanting to give her an ending ten times worse than she deserves. I don't mean to whitewash Freya, what she did was wrong and it was bad that she tried to eliminate Ruby. But in the original, she was the FEMALE LEAD and Ruby was the EVIL who took away her ''hard work'' for years (not that Ruby meant it but technically, she was the one who came later right? Freya was there from the start) and the things Freya did were because she was jealous, hurt and afraid of being abandoned. She had a better situation than Ruby but if you guys feel sorry for Ruby then Freya has her own troubles too. Try changing the story to Freya being the main female character and Ruby being the extra female character, you guys will immediately hate Ruby. Anyway, Freya lived a life without a happy ending, her first love didn't work out, her second love died, she spent the rest of her life alone even though she didn't kill anyone (I'm not whitewashing, she intended to get rid of Ruby but technically, no one died). While Ruby, who ONCE destroyed the North, killed Ellen (even though she was manipulated but fff, murder is a felony..if Ruby was that scared of her brother, she should have killed herself in the first place instead of killing Ellen, so please don't whitewash her. She's old enough to know that having blood on her hands is a terrible thing) still got a happy ending in her second life, Freya suffered in both lives. Happy now?

First off I must emphasize to be gentle on criticisms as I have poor views on myself . With that being said, let me start. I've been working at my local Walmart for quite sometime and been on an okay relationship with my team leads. However, recently the one team lead began to get very demanding. Our fitting room was renovated with no office space to do our work, and according to this team lead we are to have no tables, no top-stock carts or no carts of any kind to do our returns. And with what returns we get we must run out right with no way of sorting to different areas to do bulk returns. If we do bulk returns we HAVE to go all the way to the back and do this, and between this to run back to the fitting rooms if a customer needs assistance. Than, we must stay there until the customer is finished with the fitting room, which takes some time because either they have multiple clothing to try on, or more customers show up, so returns get piled up. With my way, if I could aquire one top stock cart, and one shopping cart, I can cut the returns to minimal because most of those returns are near the fitting room area.
Yet, according to this team lead, management refuses anything that takes up unnecessary space isn't allowed. So, no top stocks, folding tables, just one cart! Now, here's the kicker. Yesterday, this particular team lead was off so I asked management if there was any way around this. I was informed we were never restricted from all top stock carts, just not that much. We were allowed at least one top stock for returns and folding I began to get confused so I asked around about this team lead to see if any other employees had issues with this one. Turns out, there are multiple ethical issues with this team lead and a higher lead cannot stand this one.
According to him/her if anyone shows any progress in their job, the lower team lead will rain hell over that employee to either run them to another department or run them off. Yet no one wants to run this toxic TL off. This TL has made me have a anxiety crisis three times already but I don't want to report them Even though everyone says retaliation isn't acceptable What is said and what is done are two different things I'm just wondering if anyone has issues with team leads