Poems about moms death

I have come to a few realizations in the past few years.
Men are becoming more radicalized every day. I cannot fathom, for the life of me, how you can be a woman, experience a lifetime of misogyny, see the worsening state of the world, and then choose to bring another girl into this hellscape.
Like....what? Literally why... why do that... It's cruel, at this point, to have a daughter (any child, really, but especially a little girl).
I wish it wasn't this way. I wish I hadn't realized what it is. I wish the world were different. But it isn't. There is no overthrowing the patriarchy. The situation is quite literally hopeless. Things may get better, a little more tolerable, sure. But women will always be second-class citizens, animals, dogs, filth, in the eyes of male society. And I'm tired. So tired, only at 25!
Even men on the less misogynistic end of the spectrum don't totally get it... Look at this world that has let someone like Tate become the revered figure that he is. Are you kidding? What is this life.
The best we can do is band together during our lifetimes, help each other out, look out for each other and uplift one another. And not have children. Next best thing after that is probably just suicide and I'm not joking. If I had known I'd be born a girl, I'd have rather died in the womb. I don't want to die, for the record, but I think that as far as escaping the horror of being a woman, death is the only possibility -- or moving to a remote island.
The 4B movement is good. I hope it continues. I hope the birth rates decline and I hope that people stop having daughters. Men and women should never have been put on the same planet. Look at all the horrors across history, the subjugation and persecution of women... It's like we were put here just to suffer at their hands. It's clearly a man's world and I wish I didn't have to live on it. I wish there was another world to go to but there isn't. I feel like I'm being held captive and it makes me so sad.
These are my more private thoughts. I have a few male friends whom I love dearly and cherish so I know it's not all of them but it's so many of them as to be depressing and dreadful.
I saw a post a mom made about her son falling into the misogynist/incel pipeline despite her best efforts and the men in the replies were praising him and lambasting her. I feel that humans were a failed social experiement. I feel trapped on Earth with those monsters. Like many women I've experienced awful things like being followed home, touched, harassed incessantly, sexually assaulted, catcalled, discounted, talked over, etc from men. And I know that's my fate until I'm dead. I regret being born. I regret all of this, though I don't want to die.
I just wish we didn't come into existence just to be treated like dogshit. And this is not even to mention women living in areas with fewer rights than me. I'm American so I have many luxuries others don't. Makes me sick. I fucking hate it. If there is a word for it I am a doomer feminist. I just want it all the stop. Every misogynistic comment I hear or experience I am subjected to drives me just a little bit crazier. There is no peace or salvation. We only have each other.

Forgive me this is long or if has already been discussed. So i was thinking of why the family always makes so much fuss of how great killua is. I mean if being the eliter murder assassin is pride then surley illumi would be the most elite of the children? Well i was like maybe he showed promise as young child and they just got it right with him. Well then how come they dont gawk over kalluto who has roughly the same nen proficiency at a younger age? So ive narrowed it down to three things(i think) the zoldycks need to be considered a good assassin

1. Ability to detach from murder. Able to kill a target no matter who it is. (Duh)
   
2. A code, rule, or ethic.(Zeno not taking innocent lives)
   
3. The ability to reject or go against the second rule while still able to go with the first. I think silva and killua are the only ones to satisfy this and it is more regarded as a secret or something the family cant teach.
   

What does any of this have to do with illumi needle, ill get there lol. But i dont think any of the zoldyck children were born with malice or able to comply with rule 1. So in order to get to that point they likely apply rule 2 some sort of code. This allows them to ground themselves in order to be effective at their job. I think since fights between family member are banned most of the children develop some family attachment. However i think this is stagnation and the zoldycks want/need to improve and evolve. Killua is somehow the only one who is able to reject his family(slash his mom), be a murderer, and have a code(friendship/kindness). I believe silva was the same way, where his father doesnt take an innocent life i think silva was able to reject that notion and still keep his code. Which makes him more effective as we see he has no worry about killing his dad or isnt shook by an innocent death he may not be stronger than his dad but he is the more effective assassin.
Now in illuni case he is the first so he didnt really have sibling guide so he probably had the hardest time adjusting or getting to satisfy the first point. It probably got so bad that silva had to try for multiple children, because why does the rest of the family line seem to have only one child? I think this created a wish/desire to change himself to be chosen.
I think is where illumi needles himself and rejects everything joy, happiness, sadness, etc. and only keeps a no death to a family member and rage and bloodlust if they are ever threatened. I think this caused him to have absolute obedience to his family thus he cant satisfy the third condition of a good assassin. Which is why he wants nanika because it might be possible to heal/fix him in the way he actually wanted.
But doesnt end there. Most manipulators that control people need was to issue commands either verbal or with a device. Shalnark can control max two people but can use the cellphone to issue verbal commands or directly control body parts. Basically any control over people manipulation ability needs a transmitter. I think in illumi's case the transmitter is the needle in his head and hes able to issue commands telepathically.
I think this also satisfies a condition. If illumi has deleted several emotions and his brain is only on family or mission. Then it kinda makes sense how his manipulation is able to have full control like black voice, able to issue commands in mass like order stamp, overcome free will like instant lover, and do all this to large groups or split commands to certain groups without any other conditions visable. Because he already gave up everything but what he need for a mission and devotion to family safety.

I'm a 14 yr old girl my dad passed away when I was 10 and even before that I always had a difficult relation with my mom because she could be judgemental and rude sometimes. Today I had a argument with her and she told me everything about her past and my paternal (dad's) side of family. I didn't liked my dad's sisters and their kids from the start I just sensed some bad vibe from them but from now on I would never see them the same way again. She told me that she was just like me before caring and loving everyone but after her marriage she changed, my dad who I always taught was my superhero never really did a job and my mom was not well educated to get one herself he would always go and have fun with his friends and cousins which made money tight, my mom had tried to talk to him to get a job but he would never listen they used to live with my father's brothers and my paternal family never respected my mom my aunt (dads sister) and his niece aka my cousin sister kept taunting my mom,used her clothes and stuff, complain about her cooking, and even insult her in front of everyone saying they could have found someone better for him but he married my mom and my father never said anything ( my grandmother choose my mom for my dad and she died 1 month before my parents marriage) . My uncle's wife hated my mom because my father didn't marry her niece and she made her life hell, she would often starve my parents and if my mom tried to cook something she would pour water on her food to ruin it, my mom gave up cooking and started eating what she made but that wasn't easy either she would always add extra salt and chilli in the food because of which they couldn't eat it, sometimes when she cooked good meals and my parents tried eating she would either snatch their food or tount them when my 2nd brother was born and she came home with him they made my parents sleep in the living room in the freezing cold weather with my new born brother, eventually my mom sent my older brother to my grandparents house so he could live happily my mom bared all of this silently but the last straw was when she starved my mom for an entire day while she was pregnant with me my parents had enough and moved out. According to my mom there are many more things which I couldn't mention here because it's getting long.
After all of this my mom's parents felt pity on us and started giving money for food which helped changing our lives before we didn't even had new clothes on festivals and enough food to eat so my dad's sisters never used to visit us but when we started having better lives she would often come and stay our place with her kids and my father had no problem because he loved his family not accepting that they are using him. When I was 6yr old my dad a heart problem and was in the hospital for 6 months and on bed for almost 4 months recovering in this entire time my dad's family never visited us me and my 2 older brothers used to stay home alone while my mom used to take care of dad. the only person who I respect from my dad's family is his cousin who was more like a bestfriend to him he helped us alot during that time financially and still does after my dad's death. My father finally realised that he was blindly trusting his siblings who didn't cared about him.
Soon enough karma started its game my uncle's wife who used to torture my mom got mentally unstable because of which both their daughters chould never attend school and stayed home taking care him by this time my father started earning and we also had our own house. Even after all of this my mom still helped my cousins during their first periods and stuff and still does now after my older cousin got married and a baby girl and now is pregnant again she even go her routine check ups with her. Things don't end here my older cousin got some nerve problem when she was young resulting in her unable to fold her legs and they remained straight and stiff. 3 months before my father's death my uncle died due to covid eventually my father helped his son understand buisness and handled his buisness giving all the money to my cousins my cousin brother failed his 12th and eventually took over buisness after my father's death since no one was willing to help him. He would often come to us asking for money we didn't had much either because now we were fully dependent on my grandparents but they never turned us down. Long back we made a small house and gave it for rent which provided with a little money after my dad was no more. Soon the evil lady aka my uncle's wife got several infections and diseases resulting in loss of money for my cousins to be honest no one really liked her now since she would often speak disturbing things to others and try to snatch their belongings. Well my cousins were no less I only liked their younger sister who is now about to turn 20 now the older two always had a evil vibe around the and it was all confirmed when my mom told me that they would also bully my parents with their mom back then. Even now during family events my older cousin would often hand her daughter to me and enjoyed while I was forced to babysit but I wasn't like my mom I would straight to their faces say that I didn't came to babysit their kids.
In the end I just wanna say don't be stubborn like me and judge ur parents when u don't know what they went through to raise you I know not all parents are the same but I'm talking about the good ones. And don't be stubborn like my mom to tolerate everything learn to stand for yourself and your family.

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It started with my 4.5 year old daughter the week before mother’s day. Stomach cramps, vomiting, followed by a few days of diarrhea. She gets better the friday before mother’s day and my 1 year old son projectile vomits over me twice and my husband twice that same day . His has been a real kicker. he was lethargic all weekend and saturday night got a fever. Took him to urgent care on mother’s day and they said he has an ear infection. Because he just had amoxicillin for a different infection a few weeks back they prescribed cfedinir. This medication has its own issues - runny stools. He has been fussy and now has a runny nose andd cough and popping a tooth! I get the illness monday. Felt like I was on my death bed with vomiting and diarrhea. my in laws came to help. Next day i was better but trying to recover so my mom helped out. now my mom and mil are throwing up and my son is STILL fussy and his daycare provider required 100% symptom free. what is this virus from hell??? How long till the next one?? I’m worried about my son, the illnesses he gets from his sister kick his ass. I don’t think he’s been to a full week of daycare since february.

"That was the most asinine pack of lies I have ever seen. I have to make a video...No...It's not worth it...This dumb basic broad will find some way to invoke her children and victimhood and blah blah blah until she mobs you with annoying people you wish were dead on social media. Ignorance is her bread and butter anyway."
I have no idea how you people have survived viewing this content in real time so long. Clam should be studied. She is everything that annoys me about a certain type of person. Her baby died, years ago...So of course it becomes this THING with her that she has to constantly talk about and invoke as a fake reason to pretend to be sad when she is feeling lazy. Jeez lady, no joke, that sucks, but MOVE THE FUCK ON. Did someone really have to say it like that? YEARS LATER "Welcome to the dead baby podcast with claim bitcherson, dead baby mom. buy my dead baby shirts, and please, remember to tune in on the 13th of every month as I threaten to kill myself because of PMDD, then use that to sell you a period tracker app."
"Hi, I think you are playing up a lot of this crap for drama and pity views. Just saying..."
"THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS MAKING FUN OF DEAD BABY MOM! DEAD BABY DEAD BABY! I HAVE A DEAD BABY! AUDIENCE, ATTACK THIS PERSON! DEAD BABY DEAD BABY! THEY HAVE MOCKED ME AND THEREFORE THE DEAD BABY BY EXTENTION! (deadbabydeadbaby)
Look, real shit, NOBODY IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE "I wish babies didn't die" ISSUE.
WE GET IT YOU HATE YOUR DAD AND YOUR UTERUS IS A DEATH CAMP. Just change your gender or join the Army or something Clam, why must you make the rest of us suffer?
AND GOD HELP THE ONES THAT SURVIVED because they will be exploited daily one way or another. If mom isn't telling thousands about your period, she is plotting on sending her son to school with maxi pads or if the kids aren't around she whines about a neighbor protecting his property FROM HER AND HER "WEASLEYS FROM HELL" family by using them as a human shield. Screming to the hills, "MY CHIIIIDREN PLAY IN MY HALF ACRE BACKYARD! NOBODY CAN POINT A CAMERA WEST! IT IS FORBIDDEN! DESPITE ME GIVING YOU CAUSE TO DO SO DAILY! DEADBABY DEADBABY DEEEEAAADDDDBAAAAAAABBBBBYYYY. JOOOOIINNN MYYYYY ONLYFAAAAAAAAAANNNNNSSSS!"
Just shut up.
Thank you internet, I had to get that out. I know you have all felt the same.

multiple content warnings, i’m sorry, this will be long, this isn’t even everything and it’s a damn book i am 19. i was 11 when i had to grow up. my parents decided to divorce after months of fighting, letting us know a week before my 12th birthday. you know, the classic divorce story. my dad moved out and my mom started dating people. it moved so fast. we moved to a different area, even though we had just moved into a new house a year earlier, leaving my childhood hometown behind. my mom was trying to pursue school so we were living on student aid and stamps. (i have 3 siblings, so there were 5 of us) i started middle school in that area and was doing pretty well off. then my mom got pretty serious with someone i’m going to call SOB, he doesn’t deserve a name. my mom and SOB were dating for two months before that thing proposed to my mom. we met him once before he was labeled our step dad. my mom sat us down and told us we’d be moving to idaho to be closer to her family. come to find out, the whole reason for going there was because SOB is an ex convict and he couldn’t leave idaho because that’s were his parole was.
we were told at the time that he was framed for kidnapping and he had a whole story crafted to back it up. being a kid and needing my mom, i didn’t ask or dig about it. so we moved to idaho. i started school there and immediately got death threats. i got called a hoe relentlessly for seemingly being pretty. eventually things calmed down and i had friends, but that place was tiny and once people have formed an opinion of you, there’s no changing it, so it was hard to get around.
SOB was awful to my younger brother. we’ll call this brother zayn. zayn has bad adhd and has always struggled with school. he’s one of the smartest people i know, but getting assignments in is not his forte. so as a result he’s never had the highest grades. SOB hated the fact that my brother wasn’t doing great and would literally stand there and scream at him to get his work done. there was one time that i was in my room and i started to hear my brother screaming so immediately i’m upstairs to help him, SOB was literally chasing my brother around our house with a damn bat screaming at him like a demon was coming out. i yelled at him to leave my brother alone and things just got darker after that. me and my brother were scum to him and he ran our house like the hunger games. my other little brother and my older sister were prized jewels, they got everything they wanted and more, and SOB would rub it in our faces. he even gave my dog away, i went days worrying about her and looking because i thought she had ran away, to find out that some other person had my dog now and i wouldn’t ever get her back.
fasting forward a little, SOB violated his parole by going on a trip that wasn’t fully approved and got put back in jail right before christmas. my mom completely threw herself into trying to get him out. me and my sister noticed that my mom hadn’t gotten a single thing to be santa for my brothers, so we scraped up the money we had to get gifts so my brothers wouldn’t lose their christmas spirit seeing that santa didn’t come when things were already so bad as it was. i love that i was able to do this for them, the smiles on their faces, i will never forget that christmas.
after a long time of having a very absent mother, she was able to get SOB out of jail. he came back even worse of a monster then when he left. he sexually assaulted my mom, committed all kinds of fraud, basically stole all of my papa’s retirement money, the list goes on. my mom decided she wanted a divorce and when he found out, he went crazy. he locked all of us out of our house and threw our things on the lawn. it rained, i lost so many things, a one of a kind paper mache venitian mask i had gotten on a trip with my dad to italy included.
it’s 2020 by now and we went on a trip to Texas, to meet the person my dad was dating. on the trip, I very much learned that she was not for my dad. but, all reasoning was in vain. my dad proposed, and we had literally just met her. so that was that my dad was engaged now and focused on trying to move them out to him and getting a new house. my mom decided at that time that she wanted to move too so we had a choice, move to my dads and go back to the area i grew up in, or go with my mom to another ranch town in idaho. i chose my dads. my brothers came with, but my sister stayed with my grandparents where we lived in idaho so she could graduate.
things were fine for a bit. my mom was dating a lot and even got engaged. then she told us about this other guy she had been seeing, who had given her a 500 mile ride home from somewhere. immediately suspicious, especially because she wouldn’t drop a name. come to find out other guy was SOB. SOB proposes to her again and she’s got two engagement rings from two different people. everyone was like, what the actual shit are you doing. my mom was in a very cooky state of mind, broke things off with the other guy, and stayed with SOB. there was a weekend in september that my cousin had something going on so my extended family and everything was all there and we decided there needed to be some kind of intervention. to keep things short, it didn’t go well. my mom ended up leaving and she told me and my sister that she didn’t want to be our mom anymore. found out through facebook a couple days later that my mom and SOB were married.
then came the everlasting fun of a custody battle. my step mom had gotten into my dads head saying he needed to take full custody. now i wasn’t the biggest fan of my mom at the time, but that didn’t mean i never wanted to see her. my parents hated each other. there were a few times in exchanges that the cops ended up being called.
for a while my dad had pretty bad anger issues. low blood sugar, overstimulation, bad smells, anything could set him off. i just so happened to have a very large target on my back so i got the brunt of everything. i wouldn’t let him yell at my brothers and this resulted in me getting the lashings, but i would do it all again if that meant protecting my brothers. he wasn’t angry all the time, there were a lot of good days, but it was definitely pretty tortuous for a while. a lot of the problem, which i knew would happen to begin with, was my step mom. she is one of the laziest people i’ve ever known, which is the complete opposite of my dad. my dad likes to do things, he’s always active. so he was frustrated because he would want to do things with his wife there, and she would almost always refuse, so she could have a quiet day in bed. my step mom had also convinced herself that i was stealing from her. she ransacked my room multiple times, to no avail. she took my car keys ‘until she could prove i was taking things from her’ and i only got them back because they were sick of giving me rides places. she actually ended up stealing some of my things trying to claim they were hers, so she hid them and i haven’t seen them since.
so yeah i got yelled at a lot, accused of being a thief, and my relationship with my mom was shit + the joys of high school. i have been doing musical theater my whole life. when i first got to my new high school i was so excited because, although i wasn’t able to audition for the productions companies that year, the teacher told me i was a shoe in for the next year. she ended up leaving and we got a new teacher, if you can even call her that. so it’s my junior year, the first year with her, and it wasn’t bad, i got some good parts and did really well. i ended up getting nominated for an award for one of my performances and it was at this time, i don’t know what happened, but she did not like me anymore. she told me that she accepted the nomination for me, but i found out not too long later that she never accepted it and i was in favor to win so the judges were very puzzled by it. she accepted my friends nominations and kinda rubbed it in my face that i never got anything back. like’ awe are you sad because you didn’t hear anything from the judges? well so and so over here did😈’
the summer after that year i cut my hair pretty short. i wouldn’t say i’m not ‘girly’ but i definitely have a more masculine ‘bro’ persona comparatively. so now it’s my senior year, it matters a lot more at this point to try for good parts because it’s my last run. to keep it simple, my teacher wouldn’t cast me because i was too masculine, not even as a guy ?? idk make it make sense. i got one part my entire senior year, and i know it’s not because i’m bad. but i wrote and produced my own show that ended up being 100x the quality of the shows she produced, so i did get redemption. long story short, it really sucks to watch the peers your just as good as continue to succeed, while you get kicked out of the room for being distracting when you haven’t said a word. the reason they didn’t like me ? i’m good at improv, i kid you not i was told i was too creative and it bothered them. i know my presence scared the teachers there because i’m not a classic conformist theater kid that does anything and everything the teacher says.
anyways, so after years of trying to rekindle a relationship with my mom, fighting with an ass teacher and getting yelled at almost daily, a lot of worth questioning, and a flurry of weed later, i graduated.
both of my brothers in this time attempted to end their lives and were in facilities for a bit. i decided at that time to move in with my mom to hopefully help our relationship. it did a lot. me and my mom are best friends now. but it hasn’t been because of nothing. SOB had become the most controlling narcissistic asshole and my mom was just acting having any feelings for him so he wouldn’t take everything away from her. he monitored everything my mom did. he hit my mom in an intimate moment, and almost beat zayn, but i covered him and ended up slicing my arm open on our fireplace, once again i would do this 100 times over to protect my brother. i decided i wanted to dig everything up on him that i could. what i found was mortifying. i won’t go into too much detail, but there were a lot of charges, multiple of them being SA of a child. i vowed at that moment that i would do anything it takes to get him back behind bars. he’s actively on the offender list and he works across the street from a preschool, not on my fukin watch ass hat.
i will never forget the true terror on my moms face that that man caused. it got to the point where my mom would get really scared if she started crying because she knew he’d freak out at her if he noticed. i came back to my locked room, that i have the only key to, with holes in my walls in weird places, and in my bathroom too. a couple days before, my brother found a camera in his room, so i knew what it was and that SOB was spying on me. i taped them all up and came to stay at my bfs house and have been here since. after months of his treacherous cycle my mom had enough and left to a safe house, she’s there now. the divorce is going though but from some reason the stupid system denied my mom a protective order against him. he has full access to our house and things right now, and he’s trying to make 90,000 so he can baile his way out of the insurance fraud case against him that could get him back in jail in june. i’m so worried he’s selling my things because he so would. everything i have left is in that house and it’s all at his whim now.
when i moved in with my mom, i started a job at a fancy high end restaurant because i knew it would be good money. i’ve had problems with this my entire life, but ever since starting my job there, i have experienced countless creeps who have sexualized me in more ways then i thought possible. it’s made me feel so worthless. it’s people i work with and people who come in. drunk guys from the bar are the worst, and they’re all filthy rich so they don’t care about a thing in the world. i need to quit but i don’t know where else to go
my dad has now decided as of like two weeks ago, that he will be moving to florida. i never anticipated him moving across the country and leaving the last place i could call home. he also started therapy a couple months ago and his anger issues are pretty much nonexistent at this point. so i got my dad back but now he’s leaving again. i always hoped that as i got older, my family would always be pretty close, close enough that i could seem them once a week if i wanted. it’s really killing me because i was so close to that, to getting my family back. my sister has been in france the last couple years and she’s coming back in a couple weeks. my dad will be moving almost immediately after. we finally got to a point where my mom is free, my dad is happy, we’re all healing, and now my family will be broken up more then ever before by distance. my parents don’t hate each other anymore, my sister is coming home, we would all be able to spend time together again, never more.
so i’m at this point now, where i’ve been fighting for my family, taking every hit with hope in my heart for something i was so close to having, for 7 years i’ve been hoping. and just like that, the light at the end of this very long, cold and dark tunnel fades, and i’m left once again, in the cold dark nothingness that is hoping for a better day, that will never come.
so i’m left questioning, is overcoming another mountain worth it if there’s a whole range of painful climbing ahead of me? i’m so tired, my whole body hurts every day, my mind and soul are toiled with the pain of my lifetime, everyone in my family is moving on with their own paths and it’s only a matter of time before i’m only hearing from them every once in a while. i don’t want to do life, the world is so messed up right now and i don’t see it getting better. there’s too much pain and i can’t handle it. nothing seems worth hoping let alone living for anymore. i bid you adieu and wish you all the best 💗

How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
i'm a teenagers i prefer not to specify my age i'm female (i'm a introverted)
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
i may have ADD/ADHD but i'm still uncertain but i don't believe it has a big impact on my mental stability
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
i have a religious i don't agree with everything it says but i still pray i prevere not talking about my religious all i will say is i believe in the one and only above us all
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
i'm still at school and i don't like it nobody like it i study financiël i don't' really like it but the other options that where available weren't fun either so i choose the easiest for me
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
this will be sad only one weekend could't you give me more time either way they is plenty of stuff i can do on my own to enjoy i wouldn't feel lonely at al i will probably do a little exercices watch tv and most important of all i would sleep as much as possible
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like it, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
yes i like sport an moving my body is such a great feeling and it's really need to feel good i like doing stuff outdoors especially if i have the money i also like to relax indoor too
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
i'm very curious always asking questions about random thing that i'm interested in and seeking to understand them the only i have goals that i want to achieve later but it's so far ahead of me that i'm not really concerned about them thee only thing i want to execute is finishing my list of serie i wanna watch i probably won't cause it's too long about how certain things work about why stuff happen about why people thinks differently and what do certain stuff means deep down if they is a hidden meaning my ideas are more conceptual they can be about objects but most of time my environment is boring to me and i don't give it much attention and most of the time i'm detached from that
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
i hate leadership position but a believe a be a good leader as i strive to results but at the same time i understand it's not always easy i will make sure we get too the finale project without trying to overwork the people and giving them a lot of freedom i believe they can decide for their one so but overall i don't like giving people work i don't like blaming others when stuff don't go the right way or controlling people or simply interacting with people so i prefer to work on my own unless i know if i'm a leader i would like to know the strengths and weakness of all of people
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
i'm not that coordinated the way my body move is extremely random and purly impulsive and a bit aggressive too i don't try to control my movements that much but i'm practicing a sport who that make me more coordinated i like working with my hands as long as i'm not under pressure
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particularly artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
i believe i'm very artistic especially with panthings as i have a eye to recognize good and less good painting i like to paint and my painting is abstract and very intuitive
i also appreciate fashion a lot
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
thinking about the past is a waste of time cause you can't change anything thinking about the future is a good thing but it's demanding in energy i prevere dealing with what her is in the present
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
i will see what i can do to help if i refuse it's probably cause i don't like the person or that i have no energy or that i don't see what i can do to help
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
i love logical consistency everything with logic in it make it easier to understand everything i don't understand cost me a lot of energy if i don't see any logic in a certain thing i will ignore it to not waste energy on it
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
i believe all my problems will be solve if i become more efficient and productivity is just for work in my case school and i'm still in a growing and learning how to become more of both of them
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
no i don't like controlling others it's not easy to manipulate people i don't try it that much and i don't think i should do it neither do i want to be manipulated to do things against my own will
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them? the sport i'm practicing cause it's fun + eating+sleeping+shopping with a lot off money +watching tv learning more about stuff i'm interesting in (example history ) why do i like them cause the are fun/relaxing / entertaining
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
i use different methods to lean i can not lean all those subject in the same way i have easier using logic on certain things i will need my class involvement probably what i use the most logic cause i'm still a student other i have the need for physical senses or sensation
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
i can probably strategize things well i'm not the best or the worst but what is harder is following the strategy when the moment come to do so a i'm more likely to improvise
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
i want to become estate agent have more social skills and be more focus on work
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
death pain school exams pressure arguing with my mom do i really need to say why a hate those ting it's pretty obvious to me why
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
having a good school report at the end of the year having a good sport competition
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
failing in my classes
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
89% of the time i daydream and no i'm not aware of my surrounding when i do that
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about it?
i take my phone and put music till a get bored and then i start scream punch the wall think of a way out or i sleep
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
i take as long as i need to i'm not the kind person that will run out of time cause i'm not that indesisive i can make quick decisions but i can also take a long time when i feel it's needed if after that i don't change my mind in the 5 sc after my decision i probably won't change my mind
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
the needed time to feel good my emotions aren't that deep so i mostly don't need much time but when they get what deeper i will need more time
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
i find myself agreeing with others when i'm too tired to argue or when i'm talking to my mom
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
i beak rules when i know i'm not getting in trouble authority should be challenged they make dumb decisions but it's not me that should do that i'm too lazy , and i break rules cause they stupid

I don't know what to do with myself. It's not like I have a bad life right now, but with every fibre of my body, I just do not feel like I can or should be happy in any way, because I cannot and will not ever be who my parents wanted me to be.
My mom died recently and the entire family wept - a lot. I don't really know why we've been so heartbroken ever since. She had terrorized me for most of my life. She singlehandedly caused my ED and managed to make me depressed as well as suicidal. She never protected me when my dad got angry, no, rather than doing that she even instigated it. But I still feel bad. I feel bad about her having been in pain. I feel bad about not living up to who she wanted me to be and I feel horrible every time my dad tells me that "mom would be able to rest in peace if you finally got married and had kids." I've been in several abusive relationships and don't want any of that anymore. My mom would have been happier if I had stayed in them instead of "being single and used up". I sacrificed a lot of my wellbeing to appease my parents when I was a child. I had no childhood to begin with.
I don't want to get married and I never want to birth children. My ED is exhausting enough to deal with without imagining what hell it'd be like to carry even more weight around. Furthermore, I am a trans male and not out to my parents yet. Not like I'll ever be. My mom never knew until her death and as my dad got a heart attack shortly afterwards, I am scared of telling him. They've told me several times in my life how "I should have never been born" or that "I was nothing but a failure", but it's crazy how I cannot completely disconnect from them. I feel bad constantly and it's hard to have all the people around you just be like "They're still your parents." and "They do want you to be happy. It's just hard being a parent and finding the right words and actions."
I am not someone who thinks their parents are the worst out there. I could have had it worse. Yet, whenever I dare to allow my frustrations, grief and sorrow to show, people are quick to shut me up, making me wonder even more if I am just that horrible and why I cannot deal with all of this differently. I don't know...My life always feels like I am in constant debt. I've got no desire to live, but even that feels like I am doing something unspeakable to my parents, because I do not feel happy. It's crazy. Whenever I hurt myself, my mom and dad would just cry and shout at me about how I could do this to them. I did that to myself, so I could have some kind of...vent. But even that turned into a constant barrage on how I was making their lives a living hell.
I don't know. I feel quite alienated from others when it comes to loving and hating my parents at the same time. I do feel grateful for their financial support and the sacrifices they've made. I even believe that they made an earnest effort to be good parents - at least in their eyes. But...their kid wanting to not exist at all every single day is probably not the greatest result there is... There's just a lot of buried rage and sorrow, but noone to actually allow me to feel and show it without making me feel like a complete jerk for it.

First time poster, long time anxious person. Venting/proudish of my journey/would love some support!
Throwaway account because super personal.
Bi polar runs on my dad's side of the family. My grandpa and 2 uncles are diagnosed. My dad's fine and my direct cousin is fine. My moms family has no history of any mental illness. My brother has no mental health issues.
My uncle recently passed. He was schizoaffective. Pretty sad life. When he passed everyone was relieved. He has been in a home since he was in his 30's (he died at 70). He's been on so many medications that he's not been lucid for over a decade. He didn't have one friend and didn't talk to anyone for 20 years. I've met him once. I have always been anxious that I'll become my uncle.
I'm 28f and starting law school in a month. I suffer from OCD and extreme anxiety. I overcame agoraphobia many years ago and experience derealization/depersonalization here and there due to panic attacks. I see a psychologist weekly and live a completely normal life for the most part.
I had a difficult childhood mentally. I started self harming and using drugs at 15. I was in and out of mental hospitals due to self harm and family punishments. My dad is a psychiatrist who typically put me in the hospital for breaking household rules. I will admit that I was a nightmare mentally. I struggled my freshman year of college and ended up dropping out at 17. I got off drugs at 18 I never looked back or used again. Moved around every so often and had a fantastic partner of 4 years. I became a long distance backpacker, made friends around the country, became a chef, transitioned to working with children with mental health issues, ended up rekindling my piano skills and ended up writing music and learning 5 other instruments. Unfortunately, when I was 21 I became agoraphobic. I had a patient randomly collapse and pass away while in my care. It was my first experience with death and I never coped with it (giving me panic attacks). I was unable to step out my door for 8 months or so and gained 90. My partner grew depressed and felt a purpose when I relied on him.
Fast forward to 5 years ago. I moved back home for about 6-10 months and made a complete recovery. Lost all the weight within the first 5 months, I am back to being incredibly physically healthy, working a full time job and had started school again.
I thought I would be dead or homeless when I was 16 and I saw no future for myself. I recently graduated summa cum laude and got accepted into great law schools with almost full tuition. Unfortunately, I've been grappling with a pretty horrible relationship for 3 years and officially cut things off 4 days ago which has been kinda hard.
This transition period has me stressed that I will develop schizophrenia and my life will be over. As excited and proud of myself as I am, it lingers in the back of my head that I'll lose it all and rely on a home to care for me for the rest of my life. My uncle was finishing a degree in accounting, getting engaged, and was a wonderful pianist before he lost it all (although my dad said he suffered from a young age and became much worse after smoking copious amounts of marijuana). My friends, family, and psych all say I'm fine and going through normal feelings but I feel it's more.
Sometimes I get depressed and don't want to get out of bed, although I feel great when I do. I have moments I am terrified I'll "go crazy" or something ridiculous. I have a good grasp on my emotions, which can make it worse haha. I am very outgoing, but I feel reclusive until I get out. I can become overwhelmed with many sounds and bright lights, although nobody notices. Sometimes I feel like things just "aren't right" and it makes me feel bad. I'm hope that's relatable.
My family has been supportive of law school and my dad's and I are about to head out to tour my second campus. My family is a HUGE stressor and the last trip was incredibly overwhelming for me so I'm anxious about this one.
I just really don't want to develop schizophrenia and end up like my uncle.

Warning, discussion of pet death
Kind of a discussion topic as well maybe.
Anyway, in a brief summary, HCBM has (I think) a borderline personality disorder, possibly schizophrenia. We don’t ever interact, I mostly just try to support SO or be sympathetic during her blow ups, but she sounds insane periodically and has accused me of things ranging from sleeping with all of her exes to try and kill them all with a deadly STD, running her off the road, stalking, and poisoning her, SK, SO, and SO’s family pet. Also weirder ones like sex magic and voodoo and such. She constantly harasses SO with messages about these accusations, emails to the attorney, court paperwork, messages SO’s mom, socials, basically anywhere and to anyone she can bring them up. Courts been on again off again for the last year and a half. That’s the context basically.
So. My cat passed away very suddenly this week. She was diabetic but it had been under pretty good control for close to five years, she had a check up coming up at the end of this month. She was getting older and lethargic and picky about food but other than that seemed in as good a health as she could be with a chronic illness. She died in a matter of hours. I loved my cat like a child.
She died on HCBMs birthday, one day after Mother’s Day and a fresh batch of her accusations still ongoing in the background. I was grieving, stressed, not quite myself.
And I told SO it was entirely possible and I suspected HCBM had poisoned my cat to hurt me or frame me somehow. I heard myself say the only day that would have been more suspicious to me was my birthday while I was out of state (about two weeks ago)
Looking back now, I know how stupid it sounds. At the moment it felt like such a normal thing to think. Objectively there is basically no way for her to have gotten access to my cat, short of SK.
Now I just feel like I let her win by letting myself stoop to her mental level. It sounded like shit she would say. Has said.
It has become very clear that I’m in desperate need of a break from everything, the constant court motions and her constant shit stirrings.
Has anyone else had BM get to them in a way similar to this? Like genuinely I feel dumb now and I don’t think it was a truly serious thought but I’m curious if it’s something anyone else has dealt with
Thoughts?

Helloooo Charlot, I love you so much you are so funny and close to the heart I feel like I am sitting with my friends back home talking gossips when I watch your videos hahahaa . So sorry if my English is not good
First of all I want to apologize. My story is not funny but I really need advice I cant sleep and always thinking I cry in my prayers ask Allah for forgiveness and can not trust anyone.
I am female 28 from Egypt living in Dubai now
First of all I have to tell you I was Raised in Egypt from a middle class family .. buuuuut we always lived like poor, my father loved saving money he didn't like spending money at all even meat or chickens we only had it once a week growing up. Still I have to be fair, my father was a great man he is the best husband and father really always loving and caring for us. May he rest in peace. But I never felt like my mom loved him she always used to complain about him wishing him to die even saying in his face I wish you die and we enjoy your money. I cant blame my mom, still I never agreed with her. After his death she bought us a new home in a fancy neighborhood in Cairo and tried to fit in with the community, but it was always as clear as the sun that we don't belong there.
I got married to an Egyptian guy from a very rich family he was born and raised in Dubai (Arranged mirage), His father is the sweetest man ever I call him father and I really feel like Allah gave me this man replacing the hole in my heart after losing my dear father. Even his mother is a really nice lady she is so classy and since my mirage 5 years ago she never put her nose in our business or anything even we live in the same street. She teached me how to eat, dress, speak like a Dubai lady, me always asking her what is her opinion and she give me her comments in the nicest way possible
Nooow where is the problem... since the beginning of my mirage I was unable to get pregnant we waited for almost two years which is a long time for a middle eastern family, finally when we visited me and my husband discovered that I have issues and need to be treated. My mom called my husband from Egypt asked him to not tell anyone about this thinking that people might think less of me (( WE ARE NOT IN EGYPT ANYMORE)) No one have this mentality here. She was so scared that he might divorce me for this reason and she loses all of this, but deep inside I know hw would never do that he took me to biggest hospitals allover Dubai. Later on I got to know that when people asked her about my pregnancy she used to lie and tell that my husband have issues, Which means people will think less of him now. I got really mad at her but I cant show it (in our culture we can not raise our voices to the parents).
My mother in law we will call her (Su) got to know about the rumor, she spoke to me and she was very angry. Stupid me told my mom about this and they both fought it was kind of big drama lasted for sometime but it all ended when I got pregnant.. My husband funded the entire trip for my mother to come take care of me during my pregnancy this was the first time my mom leave Egypt she was so happy and honestly I was even happier for her specially my husband family have nice home and cars she really lived like a queen for three month everyday Su send us breakfast, lunch, and dinner with the driver.
They started talking to each other again like nothing ever happened, alhamdulilha I have a very beautiful baby girl she is a gift frim god.
Su's friends wanted to visit me to give gifts and pray for the baby.. that day my mom insistent she will cook Egyptian local food for them and show then the actual Egyptian culture. They came and left we had fun and everything went amazing. In the evening Su called me to check on me, my phone was in speaker and mom was next to me.... As usual I asked ((How was the presentation and everything)) Su answered (( the food was good but I have a comment, next time wipe the dished and glasses you can not give people wet dished, but it is ok I guess they understand your mom used to live in the village and she is doing the best she knows))
Now I knowwww this was rude but believe me I know Su very well she doesn't mean anything bad and if she knew my mom is hearing she wouldn't say that. After closing with Su my mom started shouting saying why do you allow her talking to you like that and she raised her voice till my husband woke up and the moment she saw him coming down she started crying telling him please book my tickets I will go back to the village I know your mom were never proud of us as in-laws she is always treating me so bad she shouted at me couple of times (never happened) and she kept saying many other lies then she told him you can ask your wife.. I didn't know what to do and I don't know why even I got mad at Su that time and I agreed to my mom lies.
My husband called Su and said the meanest things I ever heard him saying to her (you also came from a village, if you forgot your roots you can visit your brothers in Egypt bla bla bla)
OMG I wrote tooooo much... short cut ((the drama kept evaluating))
since I guess 2020 Su never entered our home even her relationship with her son became sooooo bad because my mom kept saying more lies and honestly I also did say a lot and I cut my daughter off from that house I never felt guilt I never thought about god punishment till recently.
I got a call from Su she was crying she said I will never forgive you even after life I will ask god to take my revenge from you and your mother you destroyed my home and family and your mother is texting my husband what she wants from him, she told me I pray everyday to God that your daughter do to you the same as my son did to me.. she said many things I couldn't forget
Apparently my mom is texting my father in law and I have no idea what type of conversation they are having that made her swallow her pride and call me.. later on I got to know that she left the home and staying with her daughter.
I feel horrible, I suddenly realized how amazing this woman is.. the pain we caused to her.. honestly I am thinking of telling my Husband the truth but I am so scared of him I cant trust him also now.. He hurt his mother soooo easy what will he do with me.
I feel like I don't love or trust him anymore after he cut his mother off.. even if it was for me she is his mother.. he will do the same with me someday or another
and my mother I am so angry at her she destroyed the family and now she is going to destroy my life also if my husband get to know what is happening between her and his father and she did all of that because she is jealous of Su ... I know i am kind of answering myself but I caaaant sleep I want to tell the truth but for sure my life will be destroyed I will lose my husband AND my mother ... Plus I dont think Su will go back even after I say the truth .. I feel like they will not bother apologize to her at this point as well which will kill her
it is better for her and for everyone like this but I just feel so guilty .. please advise me everyone
I have toooo many things in my heart to say but i already wrote tooo much I need to talk with someone

Missy loved to shop.
No, she wasn't one of those spoiled brats buying up all the Jimmy Choos on Rodeo. She was sensible, practical; a thrifter. There hadn't been a garage, yard or estate sale in a 20 mile area she didn't ravage. Twice a week, if not more, she would rampage through every clearance aisle in town. No Goodwill or Salvation Army was safe either. "The Circuit," her kids who didn't understand her compulsion always called it.
The only thing Missy enjoyed more than buying stuff was keeping it.
Over time, her home had become a certifiable death trap. Boxes of outdated appliances stacked high atop every seating surface, unrelinquished clothes filled up every square centimeter of every closet and a smorgasbord of cheap nick-nacks had eventually added up to an expensive collection that was worth nothing.
Guests had been few and far, including her children. Brian hadn't even called her since that wife of his broke her ankle walking to the bathroom. Missy always assumed she was faking it on her son's orders to make her feel guilty. At least they didn't bother her anymore. Cortney was on a mission to take everything away from her. Didn't she realize this was all gonna be hers one day? Was it so hard to be grateful? It wasn't like she was covered in dog shit and roaches. This was good, clean stuff.
"It's us or the shit," the daughter gave her an ultimatum one day.
The repeated warnings started going to voicemail. Very worried and even angrier, Cortney drove the two hours for an emergency intervention she planned on the fly. The traumatic memories of living in a cluttered home flooded back the entire route. The dad who gave up, the embarrassment of lying to friends, Thanksgiving gatherings cut short so mom could pregame for her decimation of Kohl's. That was even before Black Friday was even a thing. That was all that mattered. That was all she talked about. In Missy's world, whoever had the most stuff won.
"Jesus," her brother recoiled in repulsion upon breaking down the door, nearly getting side-swiped by three long unused mops in the process.
Their rotted mother sat on the lone unoccupied spot of the crammed sofa, her tissue fused with a bin full of frayed cords, a giant pile of DVD cases (most missing the discs,) and periodicals dating back to the Clinton Years. Missy, or what used to be Missy, demanded their exit, already sensing their disapproval. The called squad was scared off by the squelch and the yelp of pain upon picking up a piece of the assimilation.
City officials are too scared to condemn Missy's Museum of Massive Miscellany to this very day. Years have passed and even the vermin stay away. This doesn't bother the inhabitant. She may be the only one in there but she would never be alone.

My parents just visited and we had a good time chit-chatting and gossiping about family, but then my mom pulls out a sealed envelope and hands it to me. She explained that this envelope outlines their trust, power-of-attorney, and final wishes with their remains. I'm the one in charge. It caught me off guard and I'm not even sure what I need to be feeling at this point.
I appreciate this, absolutely, because we're 5 kids and I know that the death of a parent, or parents, can cause a lot of problems between siblings and probate court is a hot, expensive mess. But dang, the gravity of the situation is weighing heavy on me because now I'm facing reality. I want to cry, maybe mourn, but I want to feel proud, because out of all the kids, I'm the second youngest and they feel I'm the most responsible out of the bunch. So many feelings that I don't know what to do with!
Has anyone experienced this? How did you handle it? Do you have any advice for me on how to move on so I can enjoy the time going forward and not obsess over the responsibility and thoughts of my parents passing?

I feel like I've been celebrating the bare minimum from my husband and am now realizing maybe I'm NOT actually expecting too much. I feel angry and resentful. Because he changes diapers, is present and works lots I feel like I'm ungrateful for being unhappy.
Since birth 8 months ago I've gotten up for every single night feed (she was EBF and refused a bottle so for some time this was our only option) and gotten up first thing in the morning with her, every single morning even weekends. I've been the one to do the bedtime routine too. Pretty much all baths. Planned all of her meals and done all the research on anything relevant to her development. I make sure we have food, clean house everyday, clothes that fit her, etc. I pay half the bills while on ei and have just had to give up my well paying job to be able to be home with her when my mat leave ends as we have no daycare. I make sacrifices for her though because I chose to have her and this is the season of life i'm in. It feels like any sacrifice he needs to make is the end of the world.
Recently she has learned to take a bottle, my husband would only offer to feed her when basically begged to, and if she wouldn't take it within the first few minutes he's get annoyed and give up. I've heard other moms say their husbands get up with the baby weekends and let mom sleep in a bit, I can't help but laugh. Could NEVER be my reality it seems. It's a good morning if my husband doesn't wake up grumpy for having his sleep in time disrupted by a crying baby, or complaining about how he didn't sleep at all after I was up and down 3-4 times all night.
I do pretty much every single thing for our daughter. I love her to death and am so happy to be her mom, but I need breaks too. He'll do stuff if I ask but 50/50 chance he'll get frustrated while doing it and I end up taking over or struggle internally knowing she's picking up on his tension. He expects to be able to see friends every weekend and multiple times during the week typically and will guilt trip me if I protest it. He complains that he has no friends anymore (this is far from true). He thinks if he goes out after she goes to bed it shouldn't matter, I get it but then he's up late and grumpy in the morning - or he gets home late as fuck and expects me to be awake and wanting to cuddle or fuck. I dread weekends now as I know at any time he will ask to go out with a friend and be gone for the rest of the day/night. If I suggest family time, we'll do that but as soon as we're home he's got plans made to leave or go to the garage. He thinks if he's in the garage he's technically home and "present" and says to ask if I need help. I feel like the default parent. He comes and goes mostly as he pleases, if I protest he'll say he's absolutely fine staying home but his mood after says otherwise and he'll just sulk on his phone.
This is silly to be angry at but he needs to take a shit I swear to god 4-5 times a day and he'll be in the bathroom for up to 20 mins everytime, almost always conveniently when I could really use help. He says its unfair for me to be angry at him for using the bathroom.
I see the few friends I have maybe once every few months. The only times I get to go out alone is if I have a hair appt, occasional grocery shop alone (and then he tells me to hurry), maybe I can go for a drive if it doesn't interfere with his plans.... I have family help during the week if I want it, but the point is I want my husband to be the biggest help and he isn't. He also has mental health problems and refuses to get help, he says spending time in the garage is what helps him decompress. How convenient.
I'm at a point where I'm almost hating being around him and am happier during the weekdays with just me and my daughter, yet desperate for him to come home waiting for him to suddenly start helping more. Instead he will get annoyed/complain rather quickly which is almost laughable because I do this shit EVERYDAY AND NIGHT and regulate my emotions like a fucking grown up. If there's chores I'm behind on, he needs to be asked to do them and will usually do a half ass job I end up completing. He's amazing at apologies and words, promising changes and taking accountability when he's in the wrong.... Yet actions keep saying otherwise.
And finally, we've been planning to do a zoo trip with our daughter this summer and I keep stressing we need to put more money away. He has recently made a big chunk of money on overtime work that would pay for the trip and leave him a significant amount left. He said he plans on spending it all on car parts since he wants to enjoy his hard earned money and feels he contributes enough to our joint acc, and that if I can't find the money in there to put away to save then 🤷🏼‍♀️ basically and I'm overspending on groceries so thats why we can't save.
I feel stuck. I can't afford to give her the same home and life we have now by myself, I don't have the ability to go make that kind of money anymore. I don't wanna miss out on time with her in custody sharing. I don't know what to do. Some days are good with him and he makes her laugh and smile, and I think maybe this is all in my head.

Apologies ahead of time if I provide too much or too little detail. I’m prepared to answer questions or clarify as needed.
In 2017 my mom arranged a cash out refinance on her condo in Colorado, at which point I took over all expenses, and she moved to Virginia to live with my aging aunt. I’m the youngest of her five children, three of whom had been estranged from my mom and each other for nearly ten years by the time she left the state. The intention of my moving in was to maintain the condo so it would be available for her to move back into one day, date unknown.
She had a fatal heart attack and passed away in August 2023. My one other sibling on speaking terms with her shared that she had named me as the executor of the will, but after going through everything, we found no will. Even with no will however, all four of my siblings were vocal that the condo should be mine as I was paying for it alone for the life of the current loan and have put time and effort into maintaining (redid the floors and remodeled the kitchen). The plan when starting the probate process was for them to renounce claim on the house and I would inherit alone allowing me to assume the loan under the existing terms (checked the contract, this is allowed).
The first issue came when the most estranged sibling attempted to use the death as a way to force a reluctant sibling to open communication. The attempt was unsuccessful and I received texts from the most estranged sibling expressing that he would not agree to that sibling being named as the personal representative, and that he expects “his 20% of the estate, including equity in the house.” The lawyer hired to start probate advised that because I was transferring the mortgage payments into a bank account with only my mom’s name on it, which then made payments to the mortgage company, that I had no legal right to the home so the ideal scenario would be to get the estranged sibling to sign off on renouncing by paying him out his 20%.
After breaking everything down it looks like we have two options. 1. Somehow convince estranged sibling to renounce entirely, because the reality is he owes so much in back child support and unpaid taxes he won’t get anything anyway. Or 2. Sell the house, his share goes to his ex wife and children, and the rest of us get 20% as well.
I’ve come to terms that I might lose my home and have to move, and if this is the case I’m even happy to give the estranged sibling’s share to his ex and children. 2 of the friendly siblings are on board to pay the taxes on their share and gift me the maximum so I can pay off debt and be able to afford the higher cost of renting in the area, or potentially as a down payment on a new home. The 3rd friendly sibling, who was at first the most vocal about not wanting anything from the estate, has since started commenting how a big check would be nice and questioning whether I’m entitled to the sale proceeds. This thought pattern has trickled to the other 2 where they now want to stipulate that if I should get to keep the house I should will it to the next generation. There are 8 grandkids between the four siblings, I have no children of my own. I find the questioning of my claim to be audacious, and I can’t find reason in my being made to will the house to anyone I don’t choose.
Do I have legal grounds to stand on in pursuing ownership of the home or full proceeds from a sale?

1. The Bat in the Belfry - 3/5 (In terms of a Batman introduction episode, this does a decent job. It skips the origin story because superhero cartoons are allergic to them for some reason. But this at least vaguely alludes to Bruce's parents being gone, on top of introducing the struggle of being both a famous playboy and the Batman. As a result, the story is fairly generic though. Joker wants to release a laughing gas across Gotham. Gee, I haven't seen that one a dozen times. That said, this iteration of Joker has a really unique and wacky design. Along with zany acrobatic moves that are fun to watch and a great performance from Kevin Michael Richardson, it more than makes up for the subpar story. I also liked the side focus on Bennett and Fa Mulan- Sorry, Detective Yin. They're fun characters.)
2. Call of the Cobblepot - 3/5 (Penguin is quite acrobatic for a pudgy little guy. Alongside Rupert Thorne doing parkour in the previous episode, it seems the show wants to sell me on the idea that these chubby guys are just as combat capable as the Batman. And did they really have to give him the Danny DeVito hands? That's not a mandate anymore! I liked Alfred getting involved in this episode, though he doesn't really do much besides go to the Cobblepot manor. But it's funny that he does so in search of a tray.)
3. Traction - 4/5 (Colorful iteration of Bane. Why is his skin all red? He looks like a monster. But it's a cool twist on the character, so whatever. Although his motivations don't match up to the rad design, since after getting paid to destroy the Batman, all he wants to do is "take over Gotham", which he apparently thinks will be accomplished by just wreaking havoc. What is this, The Spectacular Spider-Man? I did like Alfred having to come and rescue Bruce, and the cute flashback where Alfred comforts him.)
4. The Cat and the Bat - 3/5 (This one's good, but mostly for the action setpieces. I think the rugged artstyle lends itself very well to snappy action, particularly the final scene with the Batman and Catwoman against the Yakuza. And the stuff before with Batman having to catch up to Selina messing with his Batmobile controls was neat too. But I can't say Catwoman leaves much of an impression on me in this one.)
5. The Man Who Would Be Bat - 4/5 (Kirk Langstrom as a character works pretty well as a kooky old man. I liked the visuals for his echolocation. As for the actual story...I mean it's just a typical Man-Bat story. Langstrom becomes the Man-Bat and goes crazy, so Batman stops him. But I did like the larger inclusion of Bennett and Yin, as I like their additions in this show as foils-yet-vaguely-allies to Batman.)
6. The Big Chill - 3/5 (So in this show Mr. Freeze is just another generic jewel thief. Not that I want this series to just copy paste Batman: The Animated Series, but simplifying the villains like this makes it less compelling by default. In fact here, he was always a criminal, he just happened to get ice powers. That said, his design is actually quite rad, and I did like the addition that he has a vendetta against the Batman. Plus it's funny that he took revenge on a random hobo, just for being in his way a few years ago.)
7. The Big Heat - 4/5 (Gee, I bet the writers thought they were hilarious putting these two titles next to each other. I'd say what this episode does slightly better than the others is showing the "struggle" of balancing the Bruce life with the Batman life. And actually giving the villain a narrative connection to it, instead of his schemes just serving as a vague lesson to learn. Firefly himself had a pretty cool looking suit, and the sky action was pretty nifty. Plus it was cathartic when Batman took him down to ground level and stomped. Nitpick: They forgot to animate Batman's mouth in the reflection of the puddle. I hope somebody got fired for that blunder.)
8. Q&A - 4/5 (Bruce listening to hiphop in his earbuds at a classical music theatre... Yeah this sure is a unique Batman. This is the first episode where I was genuinely interested in the story and villain. For starters, since they didn't immediately show me who it was, I got to remain curious about the kidnappings. Then I appreciated that they were connected to a personal vendetta rather than just wanting to steal jewels. I think Batman discovered the mystery a bit too quickly though. He didn't research the victims connections, he just clicked a button and the Batwave did it for him. But I enjoyed Cluemaster. Funny design. He's HUGE. I chuckled at Batman casually walking into his his moms house and her thinking she's his friend. And I thought it was fun how he defeated Cluemaster by asking the Batman's identity. Side note, that is an enormous basement.)
9. The Big Dummy - 4/5 (Wow, it's Homer Simpson! Well actually, Scarface sounds more like Krusty the Clown when he's yelling. That aside, we're back to villains just wanting to steal stuff for profit. Yeah, sure, whatever. Scarface trying to slap Batman was funny, though. And I found the idea of making him a huge puppet where Wesker himself takes the puppet position by the giant arm a funny twist on the character. The vague subplot about Bruce having a date with some Becky chick feels kind of tacked on and unnecessary, but I digress.)
10. Topsy Turvy - 4/5 (First "villain comes back for revenge" episode. Joker's plan is unfortunately fairly generic, but his zaniness still makes it fun. Not to mention seeing the Batman locked in an Arkham cell and dressing up as Joker. Why did Batman lock in the guard when leaving though? Rude for no reason. Also, I'm glad the fake Joker in this episode had to stay quiet so he won't be found out, unlike in The New Batman Adventures where a goon dressed up as Joker can just perfectly imitate his voice.)
11. Bird of Prey - 4/5 (Okay, I'm just gonna say it: Stop showing front facing Alfred! Without that little patch of visible hair, he looks completely bald, and it's weird! That aside, I guess after the series of villain introduction episodes, it's time for a batch of sequels. This is the better sequel than the Joker one, since I liked that Penguin had a clear cut motive. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but Penguin's zaniness was more amusing. No doubt helped by Tom Kenny's performance. Him wreaking havoc around Wayne Manor and harassing Alfred was just funny. And it made Alfred hitting him with a chair in the end better. I thought his rooftop battle with the Batman was pretty creative, and I liked that Alfred dressed up as Batman to fool the journalist. Also how he intentionally kicked their video tape into the fire.)
12/13. The Rubber Face of Comedy/The Clayface of Tragedy - 4/5 (The cops literally have Joker at gunpoint but they let him proceed with his slow getaway. I'm starting to understand why Batman keeps one-upping them. Great two-parter though, but part 1 is really nothing but setup for the real meat which is part 2. Part 1 is just about Joker causing chaos again, except the tone is more dramatic on account of this being meant to be more serious than the average episode. And while Joker's antics are fun, given how little it had to do with part 2 other than him being the cause for Bennett becoming Clayface, they didn't really need to spend a WHOLE episode for just that setup. It results in part 1 being just good, while part 2 is fantastic. Sadly, combined, I can't give them 5/5. But part 2 gets that honorary score for itself. You could have cut Joker's generic havoc-wreaking in half and have the Clayface transformation start around the 10 minute mark of part 1, leaving you with about 30 minutes to develop it further. But then they couldn't have that cliffhanger, now could they?
As for the actual story... Depressing. I'd say it's a bit early to change the status quo of Bennett since while he is a good character, we haven't really seen MUCH of him, so it's not a huge blow to suddenly make him a villain. But it's a pretty good, genuinely saddening twist regardless. And while the emotional moments feel a little hurried (hence why you could have cut some Joker nonsense) I think they're effective enough. Yin crying, etc. And Bennett's transformation itself is genuinely horrifying stuff, so you really feel the fear he must be going through.)
14. The Cat, the Bat, and the Very Ugly - 3/5 (And now we're on villain team-up episodes. Except they're still just generic stories about them wanting to steal stuff! Well, okay, I guess Penguin DOES want to use the relics to... I don't know, blow stuff up? It just isn't very riveting is all. I do find Batman and Catwoman being stuck to each other interesting in theory, but they don't really do much fun with it. And why did Batman lie to Yin about it? I guess he's worried he'll look suspicious if he's with Catwoman, but also, he could have just told the truth? The lie just incriminated him more. I also question this because the episode ends with Yin TRUSTING Batman, which makes no sense if she literally caught him in a lie the FIRST time she called him about a case.)
15. Riddled - 3/5 (That's certainly a unique version of Riddler. I respect it, simply because it's fun that the show dares to completely revamp characters like this. But the episode itself is mostly just decent. Yin and Bats going across town solvring riddles is mildly fun, but the actual confrontation with Riddler is just okay. I did like the 20 questions game, but couldn't Batman easily get out of that by not answering? I found it funny how dense the Police Chief was to understand even the simplest riddles, especially with how bluntly Yin had to explain the last one. Side note: Riddler uses the term "brainiac" in this. But that term exists because of the Superman character. So has a Brianiac attack on Metropolis happened here and been made publicly known or what?)
16. Fire & Ice - 4/5 (Gee, with a title like that, I sure was scratching my head wondering which two villains it could be about. I'd say while this episode is good, it felt a bit thinly set up as nothing but "what if ice villain with fire villain??". I did find it amusing that they turned on each other near the end and the conflict just became Heat vs. Cold. That scene with Yin yapping about knowing Bruce's secret though... Give me a break. Even if they WERE gonna have her find out his secret identity, that's most certainly saved for a Serious:tm: season finale or something with heavy stakes, not a random Firefly episode.)
17. The Laughing Bat - 4/5 (Golden concept for an episode. Joker trying to imitate the Batman is unhinged and hilarious. And Penguin being caught in the crossfire completely discombobulated by the switcheroo was great. Praise aside, I was a little disappointed that Batman turning into Joker didn't go further than...he can't stop laughing. Couldn't have Joker-ified him any more? White skin? ANYTHING else to have him also vaguely look the part? Overall I also felt there was too much focus on Bruce laughing as opposed to Joker being the Batman, when that was the best part.)
18. Swamped - 3/5 (While I appreciate that this is a villain introduction episode that goes beyond them being a jewel thief", Croc wasn't too interesting. He wants to flood Gotham because he likes water, but then Batman stops him. Although I liked the way he did it by forcing him to stay in water. :ohgood: Also neat that this episode introduces the Batcave "museum". This series gradually introducing all of these iconic aspects of Batman lore as opposed to having it all pre-established is fun.)
19. Pets - 4/5 (Season 2 really IS the season of villain team-ups. I was rolling my eyes at the prospect of another generic Penguin episode of him wanting to steal stuff, but got my excitement back up when they showed Langstrom. Although they could have devoted some more time to Langstrom actually being aware of Penguin's scheme and wanting out instead of just... One. And overall, it IS just another episode where Penguin tries to steal stuff, so yeah.)
20. Meltdown - 4/5 (Wow, this was JUST like the Batman Beyond episode "Meltdown". While a good episode, I have to say the Bennett-Clayface conflict feels a bit forced at times. Him repeatedly getting into encounters with Joker, the very man who caused him to become Clayface, and struggling with not morphing to take his rightful revenge? Valid. Understandable. But him randomly being willing to kill Batman and become an outlaw on a whim? I don't know. His fight scene against Joker on stilts was pretty fun though. That said, Bennett is a good guy and all that, so I'm hopeful for a redemption arc where in the end he becomes a superhero with his powers.)
21. JTV - 4/5 (It's another Joker shenanigans episode. What is there to say? Not that that's a bad thing, since Joker shenanigans ARE fun. He concocts some nutty TV show-themed scheme, and then Batman stops him. Cash was a bit of an annoying inclusion though. Did he even serve any narrative purpose? I guess he vaguely emphasizes how well Yin and Batman work together, by him working badly with her. I did like the "animated" JTV promo. But who even made that? I guess one of Joker's henchmen can animate.)
22. Ragdolls to Riches - 4/5 (Oh boy, the umpteenth episode about a villain stealing some jewels. Wait, it's TWO villains this time. Wow, this changes everything! Jokes aside, it actually kind of does, because Ragdoll is entertaining enough on his own. His costume is cool and unique in its simplicity, and his distorting body leads to some very expressive movements and action which make for a fun watch. And if that wasn't enough, his rivarly with Catwoman and repeatedly trolling her on purpose was pretty darn amusing. Though despite being the titular character, the episode is mostly about the Bruce/Batman/Selina/Catwoman mystery. It is fun seeing the "4" of them interact and not realize who the other is. Especially when Batman, the world's greatest detective, believes Selina's blatant charity scam and hands her a huge check. It's funny seeing Bruce be this oblivious.)
23. The Butler Did It - 3/5 (Another flipping jewel thievery episode! At least there's a mystery element to it this time, in that you initially don't know who the villain is. And when you do find out it's Spellbinder, there's the twist that he swaps his mind control targets from butlers to their employers. And it was really fun to see Alfred be the one to figure this out and escape the room he put himself in to save Batman's ass. I liked the bit where Batman hesitated to punch Alfred. And I think some of the hallucinations were fairly creative. That said, it was still a jewel thievery episode! Get some new plots, show.)
24. Grundy's Night - 4/5 (While I did have thoughts on this version of Grundy, those feel irrelevant when it turns out he was just Clayface in disguise anyway. That said, props for making a twist I could genuinely not predict. However, the reason I couldn't have predicted this is because after all that development of Bennett and his descent into Clayface, I wouldn't have expected his next appearance to just be him doing something generically villainous that Batman must put a stop to. It comes off as a bit awkward, because you'd think this would be more emotionally significant considering he was Bruce's best friend. But not only do we not even see his Bennett form in this episode, Batman doesn't even refer to him as such, just "Clayface". And then he goes home all cheery as if he stopped any ol' twerp. Huh?)
25. Strange Minds - 4/5 (While this episode falls into "Joker shenanigans" territory again, at least the focus here is less about just stopping him and instead delving into his mind. It leads to the zaniness being cranked up more, which is fun to see especially with how expressive Joker is in this show. Although I feel like they could have been a bit more creative with the visuals. I liked the flying fish, Joker as the moon, and the normal Joker managing the idea vault. But other than that it doesn't get more wacky then just a crowd of Jokers. But I liked the solution of how Batman made him disclose the information by making him think they had exited his mind. Cliché, but clever. It's a bit weird how Hugo Strange spots Batman in Joker's mind and immediately assumes it's the actual guy, though. For all he knows that could have been mentally conjured up by Joker. Batman would likely be on his mind a lot. Also, Harley Yin.)
26. Night and the City - 4/5 (Woah, TRIPLE villain teamup? Daring today, are we? I liked that Penguin didn't even know who Riddler was. And despite that, he's clearly stomping both Penguin and Joker in this contest. He came up with the idea to catch Batman in the first place, had the most elaborate bat-bait AND was the last guy standing in a fight against him. Joker and Penguin just followed Batman and quickly fumbled. I guess with Commissioner Gordon and the Bat-Signal being introduced in this episode that this marks the end of Batman being an enemy of the GCPD. Not that I mind, since while I liked the development of it, with Bennett gone and Yin already on his side, there wasn't a lot further you could push it. It's a shame this is Yin's last appearance, though. I don't really understand why, since while she's fired in this episode (for like what, a few hours?), she gets the job back and everything goes back to normal. Frankly it would have been more interesting if she WAS fired and then became a vigilante herself/sidekick to Batman as referenced in this very episode.)
Movie: The Batman vs. Dracula - 3/5 (Starting the story with Joker and Penguin? Yeah, this is a The Batman movie alright. They really can't help but spam these two villains. That said, decent movie, but I'm really scratching my head as to why they thought Dracula was the ultimate villain they could utilize for it. There is some thematic connection with him being able to transform into a bat, obviously... But that's as deep as it goes. And the few bits of Bruce recalling the death of his parents was like, come on, you really felt a need to rely on that as a plotpoint in a movie about Dracula?
The film, much like the show, is fairly barebones. Dracula rises and wants to take over Gotham, so Batman must stop him. The side story of Bruce having a romance with Vickly Vale feels very tacked on and pointless since not only was she not much of an interesting character, just a dime a dozen love interest, but she doesn't even appear in the series going forward. So, what? Also, did Bruce really need to hastily steal someone's lipstick and a platter to write "Alucard" and mirror it to figure out it spells Dracula backwards? Just rearrange the letters in your head.
The most interesting thing about the movie is it gets slightly more visually grim. Stuff Penguin bleeding in the beginning alone was a surprise, as tame as it was, because that's not something I would have thought the censors would allow. Of course I quickly realized it was plot relevant, but then they immediately go on to show Dracula "killing" a guy. Which, while I know having finished the movie that he was cured, the way the scene initially portrays it is obviously supposed to make you think that's what happened. There's also Joker practically bathing in blood and Dracula literally being burned alive in the end. Sheesh. So much for Batman's code. Vampire Joker is probably the best part of this movie. That blood bank scene is really cursed [good thing], and KMR's performance of Joker starving while Batman has him locked up was great. I mean Batman having to feed Joker his own blood just so he doesn't starve is a fairly unique plotpoint. Also his reaction to being un-vampire'd is pretty funny. "Where's Dracula?" "I'm looking at him".)

Hi everyone
I am a 21 year old student who was in a 3 year relationship with my gf 20 that ended abruptly two days ago.
Our relationship began in highschool and got off to a rocky start when everyone around me started gossiping about her cheating on her ex. I grew up in a household with a single mom who had been cheated on every single relationship. So I was deathly afraid of this happening to me. After months we came up with this agreement that we’d update eachother on snapchat whenever we were apart. And because we missed eachother we would also call at night when we slept.
After all those years this turned into what I think was my crutch to keep my fears away. The snapchats turned away from occasional talking to full day surveillance. The calling turned into a necessity, all day if we were apart, during showers etc. Whenever I saw something that set alight my paranoia I got extremely combative. For example if she hadnt sent a snap in an hour from the other, i would become afraid and fully believe that there was something going on. This then turned into me saying things like “if you treat me like this I wont be able to continue our relationship”. I now look at this and see that it is a threat of me leaving unless she did what i said. I saw it as me enforcing my boundaries and it seemed normal.
She also expected calls from me and would also get upset if I didnt update well, so I thought that this was just how we did things, every relationship had something weird or unhealthy they had to work on in my eyes. When I went to work she recorded herself so i could surveil what she did, and I was somehow so blind to how fucked up that is. And i sought therapy in those two years but had extreme difficulties in finding a psychologist. So these issues remained.
A couple of days ago, while she had a hard week with college, she broke down about everything to a friends mom. Who then informed her parents. While we were discussing the distribution of chores around our appartement, we were living together for 2 years now, her parents stormed in and scolded me for being a controlling manipulator. The dad got very verbal and the mother said something akin to “i dont know how i havent seen that my daughter was so unhappy here”. It blew me away, i never thought she was unhappy as we were having fun just the evening beforehand.
Now they keep her away from me and are blocking my number, telling her that my controlling behaviour outweighed any of the good i did. Like helping her out of cutting herself and abusing alcohol. They check her phone to see if she doesnt message me.
After they left I looked up if I was an abuser, and i can certainly see that i did things on the lists being unaware of what I was doing. I called helplines and spoke to as many people i could to help me and figured that i needed instant care. I will now have a team of psychiatrists and psychologists visit 3 times a week and will be admitted to a facility sometime in the future.
I do not want to be an abuser, and she wants to stay in contact but work on ourselves separately, i agree and i want to be better for myself. But i dont know how i feel with them keeping her locked down like this. its healthy for them to keep her away. But no contact entirely when I really want to change, i cannot fight to redeem myself it seems to me.
Am I a lost cause? Did I lose the best person in my life? I will be admitted to the most intensive therapy we have in our country and I wish to update her on progress and ask how she is doing. To this she is receptive as she has already texted me without her parents knowing, stating the same. But I am afraid that she will want to contact but won't be allowed to.
TL:DR: I made my girlfriend snapchat update me throughout the day as many times as she could and whenever she could. We called whenever we could, this meant also during showers or whatever private moment. I thought that us agreeing to this meant that was a ‘relationship rule’ that we both enforced. I thought that her also showing a same need for me to be available for a call when I showered or that I also update when I left that it was okay. Somehow I only see how fucked up this was now and feel extremely guilty and clueless as to how the darkest parts of me got me to lose her. Her parents found out and now she has been taken away.

I'm not sure how to explain this. I turned 18 a few months ago and I just graduated, my dog was nearly 18 as well when she passed yesterday. I absolutely love the outdoors and it's because of her, we grew up together and would run around in the woods behind my house. The rest of my family doesn't really understand my devastation, my mom called and tried to make me feel better by explaining how ancient she was (she is a gsp mix). But I see her as an equal - seriously I would have full on conversations with this dog. My entire childhood is just her because I never had any friends until Sophomore year of high school.
Leading up to the accident her health was declining pretty fast. Over the last two years, her arthritis got really bad. We would give her meds to help the pain, but the meds made her drowsy and she would fall a lot so I always kept an eye on her so she wouldn't hit her head. She was also incontinent so I would spend a few hours a day cleaning up after her, it made it hard to keep the house clean but that never bothered me. She was blind, couldn't smell anymore, she was just really old. You'd think I would know that it's time when she wasn't able to stand up without help, but I was being delusional and selfish. And I'm pretty certain what happened is my fault because I didn't get off my ass earlier.
My father has a lot of mental issues: anxiety, ptsd, ocd, etc. and he's getting help. These issues cause him to be forgetful. And yesterday, I was upstairs folding laundry and cleaning my room while he was downstairs working. I heard him leave but didn't think anything of it because he's always running errands. About thirty minutes later I walk down to see my little dog (the still alive one) pacing outside. Behind her was my gsp, completely dead. No one tells you what death actually looks like, she looked so different so quickly. I can't even explain it, but her fur didn't even flow in the wind. It was like she was frozen in time. I tried to keep my composure but it didn't really work because my mind was racing. Picked her up with a blanket and gently set her down on a carpet inside. I knew she was gone, but I was desperate so I grabbed a water bottle to try and make her drink it. Obviously, it didn't work and that's when I kinda lost it and started throwing things.
Eventually I straightened up and called a pet hospice and asked if they had any partnered crematoriums. They did, and thats when I called my father and told him what happened. While I was waiting I just sat there petting and talking to her. It's gross now that I think about it, but it didn't cross my mind then what I was actually doing. He did get home really quick, and we dropped her off at the vet for a private cremation. The entire ride there I was praying that she would just move and she never did.
I hate myself right now. I know it was my dad that forgot about her and didn't tell me she was outside, but if I got downstairs sooner I could have fixed it. I never wanted her to die alone, I wanted to be there with her like she was with me. She must've been in so much pain under the sun, wondering where I was to pick her up. My little dog is probably traumatized too for seeing it. She hasn't been eating much unless I give it to her. I haven't left her side since it happened, and I gave her one of the blankets my gsp used to sleep on. Not sure if that helps or not. I didn't sleep last night - I just keep remembering her body laying alone. Anyway, if you made it this far thanks. She's my best friend and I'd give anything to have her back.

I'm a very ugly person. And I have really bad mental health. I'm from 3rd world. So I can't get any therapy it's really very expensive here. Sometimes I can't even eat food cause here's everything is very costly and have fucked up inflation.
I feel just so exhausted living in this capitalistic brutal world. This existence is too much. This is surreal I just want don't want to exist. I'm still wondering why tf my mom had me when there's no food in our home or she can't even take care of herself. And let us live in a abusive condition. Here everyone is miserably living. Humanity is a curse. I feel so drained. My mental health is becoming more and more bad. And I couldn't do anything about it. I can't escape until my death.

A death in the family of a first cousin—someone who I grew up with a few days ago has had me feeling mixed feelings. This is someone who I grew up with because we were born around the same time and his mother is my moms sister. He died suddenly last Friday and since then I have been trying to sort out my feelings about going to his funeral. I broke contact with this relative as an adult for two reasons —number one he was a drug dealer which caused him to go to prison and be in and out of prison for decades. The second reason was, he attempted to molest me several times when I was a child so naturally, I have some angry feelings and I am working on forgiving him.
Now that Cousin has died suddenly unexpectedly, the family expects me to fly cross-country to attend his funeral . Just thinking about it fills me with so much anxiety and there are family members there that love drama so I am not interested in being around that scene.
What I am wondering if you are divested, I know we are trying to pursue that good life . At times like this black women are expected to always grin and Bear it no matter how they feel inside. For once in my life, I would like to say to these people the truth, which is mentally I am not able to handle going to this Memorial service and being around such people or do you think that I sound like I am incredibly selfish? My entire life my black family has expected me to do many things that I was uncomfortable with and I am now trying to say what I need versus them telling me what they need from me!!
Anyway, thanks for hearing me out. I wanted to vent and I just wanted to hear the opinions of some intelligent ladies.

I have fully got over my reddit drama so i'm gonna try to avoid commenting on reddit hashtag try to but if I have someone try to get my attention don't bother I won't respond even if I do decide to respond it would probably be a one time thing and now to say I can confirm I am a former victim of mental abuse I won't explain it in full details but I will explain what I had to go through when I was living with my grandmother I had to go through mental abuse I never felt safe in my grandmother's home my grandmother always yelled at me even when I did nothing wrong my grandmother was mentally abusive to me she constantly yelled at me even when I did nothing wrong she always believed any lies that was told about me like one example I can remember was on March break 2018 my uncle told my grandmother that I stole the school snacks when I was at my mom's house laying in her bed sick all throughout March break then when I turned 20 years old on July 15th 2019 my grandmother decided since i'm almost an adult she could use my credit card I didn't know I had to buy smokes and made me go in debt then in 2020 which I admit became a very bad year for me first on twitter and deviantart I got accused of defending a youtuber called Cryaotic second I decided to push myself at school due to how I took my teacher's words which I now realized that she didn't mean her words how she worded them my teacher told me if I don't try my hardest then I won't succecced in life which I took her words that if I don't try then I will never become anything in life so I spent all my high school year doing school work I took no breaks aside from washroom breaks but drinking water didn't seem important to me it got to the point where my teachers kept telling me that it was great that I'm refusing to give up on school work but you need to take a water break or else you're gonna dehydrate yourself they told me that everyday but it eventually got to a point where my teachers knew that I wasn't gonna get out of my seat and resolve to give me a water bottle everyday then one day I decided I didn't want to live with my grandmother anymore so I went to my mom crying to her saying things like mom I don't wanna live with my grandmother anymore she's mentally abusive I want to live with you which my mom responded to me saying sure you can live with me you're 20 now you're old enough to make your own decisions then when I went to my grandmother's house we got into a fight and argument and I made the mistake of telling my grandmother how I felt about her and my grandmother kicked me out of her house she stopped doing things for me the last thing I remember my grandmother doing for me was her taking me to the doctors when I twisted my ankle my grandmother didn't even celebrated my 21st birthday with me during July when my mother asked my grandmother if she had anything planned for my birthday cause my mother wanted to know which my grandmother responded nope I don't need to celebrate your daughter's birthday you can celebrate your daughter's birthday by yourself I guess my grandmother thought me and my mom were gonna celebrate my birthday by ourselves but on the day of my 21st birthday my mother invited my siblings my boyfriend and friends of my mom to come to my birthday but my grandmother decided to be a bitch and complained to my mom about her friends cars blocking her driveway so they had to move their cars my grandmother even had a habit of throwing my friends and my boyfriend into blame when they had nothing to do with whatever my grandmother was blaming them for I haven't talked to my grandmother for years now and I tend to keep it that way I don't see my grandmother as family anymore all I see her as is someone who was a mental abuser and someone that abused my trust one thing I will admit is I believe in ghost and guardian angels cause I have seen them same with spirit animals which my spirit animal by clan is a wolf and that wolf spirit is everywhere with me I even own wolf items such as a wolf necklace a wolf blanket a wolf hat a wolf poster and wolf plushies I won't say all of the names of my wolf plushies but I will admit I name most of my wolf plushies after youtubers again I won't say all of their names but some of the names of my wolf plushies are Dawko(named after the youtuber Dawko) Jackmanifold(named after the Dream smp member Jackmanifold) Skydoesminecraft(named after the youtuber Skydoesminecraft) Punz(named after the Dream smp member Punz) and Foolish(named after the Dream smp member Foolishgamers) the last time I saw my grandmother was at my great uncle's funeral which I first heard about my great uncle's death was from my mother on that day I loss my story on wattpad to a false report my gaming chair broke and I broke my thumb nail off my gaming chair so I called my mom crying my eyes out telling her that my gaming chair broke and I broke my thumb nail and it was hurting which my mother told me that she's at the hospital with my great uncle and will talk to me when she gets home so I ended up calling my mom's friend to help me cut my thumb nail then when my mom came home she told me that my great uncle died and I took his death the hardest which I also realized on that day me losing my story to a false report on wattpad my gaming chair breaking and me breaking my thumb nail was spirital signs that I was gonna lose someone on that day and I loss my great uncle then when my mom asked me if I was going to my great uncle's funeral and that my grandmother was gonna be there which I responded to my mom saying that I will go to my great uncle's funeral but I'm not talking to my grandmother which my mom responded to me saying that's fine Destiny that's your choice if you want to talk to your grandmother or not so I went to my great uncle's funeral I talked to my family members that went to my great uncle's funeral but my grandmother cause I wanted to stick to my word which I barely shed a tear at my great uncle's funeral which I believe is probably cause I spent all of my time greiving for my great uncle at home but that's all I have to say about myself plus to add if I see a comment saying something about my grammer or puncation I will delete the comment and block you but to those who choose to stay and listen thank you

It’s a bit long.
Ok. So, I came here because I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS TO PEOPLE WHO KNOWS WHAT IM SAYING AND WOULD UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN.
Yesterday or so (it was midday for me where I live idk when it was announced at the event) the date of Agatha All Along, its final title and a teaser trailer were apparently released and it’s said that (I say ‘it’s said that’s because only the people at the event saw exactly how the teaser video was and because no one filmed so currently it’s just talk) scene starts out with Agatha as Agnes wearing one of the hex decade outfits from wanda vision trying to solve a murder about a Jane doe. Apparently Agatha is in like a morgue and on a metal table lies the body of a woman who’s covered up and the tag on the foot reads W. Maximoff, death 13 of October.
Now I have a bunch of things to say about this part and why everyone is too quick to jump to the conclusion that wanda is really dead. One, the whole time MoM happened Agatha was under the hex, there’s not much way that she could know that Wanda is ‘dead’ (if she is dead that is).
Two, back in the day marvel used to do this thing where the year of the movie that it gets released in matched up with the year the characters were living in the movie. Like 2012 avengers. If they kept this up the date of Wanda’s ‘death’ wouldn’t make sense as she would’ve ’died’ in May. Also other than strange, Wong, the people at the sanctum and America (and maybe the other reality Christine) no one really knows of her ‘death’. So it would leave a huge plot whole to who brought Wanda there.
To continue they said that rio vidal shows up and tells Agatha some things that ultimately lead her to break out of the hex.
A post that was made 6 months prior to these announcements that were made yesterday kinda points to that not being wanda. On tik tok a creator by the name @lizzie_clan had shared a slideshow post last year on November about some Twitter posts made by a well known leaker (spoiler-content leak) explaining that the body on the table is only there to symbolize Agatha breaking through the hex and said that at some point Rio says that there are two Jane does in this case and with that the name tag changes from w. Maximoff to a. Harkness. Considering it had been said long ago and now we see this scene in the teaser I do give it possibility that it really isn’t Wanda.
To follow this up I will give the similar arguments I’ve given on this subreddit before.

1. To start things off, we never saw the body of Wanda Maximoff. In marvel except for a few, many people who died, and we saw their bodies, they stayed dead.
   
2. The huge CGI explosion of red at the ends of MoM. I think if Wanda had really died it would’ve either been a much bigger explosion or no explosion at all. I’m pretty sure that the explosion that was made was there for a reason. Like aiding in her escape in a way.
   
3. Wanda has big parts in multiple different characters storylines. Let it be in Agatha’s, or in visions or in her sons or x men or house of m or in the upcoming avengers movies. Killing her off in such an obscure way makes no sense.
   
4. Wanda is a ridiculously strong character. I really don’t think a nexus being was killed because of some rubble. It doesn’t fit the story they made for her.
   
5. In the 2016 scarlet witch comics we see Agatha helps Wanda get to the witches road and we do clearly see that Agatha and her coven goes there as well. It wouldn’t be a shocker if we got a glimpse of her there.
   
6. The official marvel book that was released that didn’t had Wanda on the cover. Now marvels all about being clever and sneaky. The book says that when Wanda collapsed Wundagore it got rid of two big problems and threats on the multiverse but never explicitly says that Wanda is dead which is more important than you think. They have no reason to hide the fact that a character is dead. And that’s maybe because she isn’t.
   
7. Elizabeth Olsen is currently booked for 5 or so projects and last year she never confirmed her returned and said that she wanted to play other characters. However she never explicitly said she was done with marvel or she was fired or left or she was done playing Wanda and that she didn’t know if she’d return but didn’t say much to not give any potential spoilers.
   
8. Wanda and Elizabeth playing Wanda is a huge selling point for marvel. They’d really have to be a bit dense to let go of such a character with such a big fan base.
   
9. Also like Wanda can resurrect herself, she has done so in comics.
   
10. Marvels clever marketing. In the span of 3 years Agatha’s show had a total of 4 name changes that kept people talking. It was later revealed that those names were the names of upcoming episodes in Agatha’s show and the series name was Agatha all along, probably being a nod to her song in WandaVision. This was so cleverly executed. Which brings me to my point; marvel actors don’t spoil movies.
    

To clarify the NDA’s (none disclosure agreements) these people have to sign are darn right crazy. Very tight and very secretive as each leak can cost them a lot of money. And marvel does run on making big bucks. So an actor like mark ruffalo or Tom holland going and spoiling something is not likely to be an accident but a cleaver marketing technique. I mean they’re a list actors. We’d believe them if they acted surprised over revealing some spoilers on ‘accident’.
What I’m trying to get to with this is a comment that was made and later deleted by the actor Asif Ali who played Abilash Tandon or better known as norm in WandaVision and who will return for Agatha all along. In 2023 on Instagram a user asked the question: Will Wanda be in Agatha’s show, bro ? Please..’ which Asif responded with a ‘yes!’ Which was later deleted. Again considering the NDA s and the secrecy I do believe it’s a marketing stunt.
Of course at the end of it all these are pieces and theories put together I can’t be sure of anything (just like everyone else) until I see the show.
Now of course I want Wanda’s return. And I really do believe that she will be back. What I do hope is that she will appear in the last episode or at an end credit scene or instead of seeing her we’ll see a magic cgi effect indicating her return. Cause as much as I love Wanda this is Agatha’s show and I don’t want her to be overshadowed by Wanda. Like in Hawkeye series how when Yelena came to the scene she overshadowed Clint who is the protagonist of the show.
Anyways yeah, these are my thoughts on these and I’d like to hear everyone else’s who took time to read this whole blabbing of theories and reasons.