He’d always been a kind and nice boy, only recently (last couple months, around 3 months) he turned to have what we initially thought was anxiety & anger issues. He would cry and throw tantrums (crying, idling, sometimes screaming) when asked to do his homework, or when he’d been limited of his screen time. We approached this with both understanding and tried to get the whole story on why he felt sad, angry (it was quite challenging as he kept telling us “I don’t know” but we get to an answer eventually), why it was wrong to react the way he did, conveyed the importance of his studies and health. I myself imposed a 20 seconds minimum hug policy (as I interpreted his reluctance to expressing his feelings verbally to be a lack of affection, and physical comfort would prove to calming him), he loved the hugs and is more vocal to request, initiate more openly affectionate gestures.
Up until 1 month ago he started getting more crying episodes, told us he was really scared and worried at night and found it hard to fall asleep. He also get really upset over homework, which we got the entire family to help out on.
We contacted his teachers and parents of his classmates to ask about his time at school, nothing was amiss and he was mingling with other kids as usual. Only at home does his behavior seem to worsen, he started crying and screaming at the smallest things, like when one of us tried to point out spelling mistakes in his homework and attempted to help him fix them, or when we remind him to do his homework. He’s usually calm and nice outside of these outbursts, which make it more startlingly contrasting of his normal state.
As he got more easily triggered and incomprehensibly, unreasonably tantrums that became more and more violent with objects (table, pencils, books) and fighting and scratching at his older sibling (me). The family became more stern and tough in dealing with them.
Today he just had the worst of it. His mum reminded him to clean up after playing with his toys, he obliged and played happily for an hour. We then prepared to go out (he asked to go to the mall) and our mum walked over to see the lid of his toy box on the ground and told him “[name] I told you to pick up your toys after you’re done with them”. He was over on the other side of the room with his Ipad he started talking almost screaming by the end of his sentence “I remembered I put it AWAY”, mum was walking to the door and I shielded her as I gauged his reaction to be the start of something bad.
He stood up, and at the end of his sentence picked up the plastic lid and threw at us then lunged for our mum, the lid hit the wall and I held back him, he was clawing with his nails, teeth bared and his eyes had a wild look to it. I let go of him and my mum scolded him for tryingto do whatever that was, he sat down on the sofa and started crying, his eyes closed and he periodically screamed his lungs out.
I just sat in front of him, my mum scolded some more but then he screamed and shout at her to “be quiet please”.
Afterwards like 1-2 hours he came back to be perfectly normal and calm, no trace of the previous meltdown.
He did told us that he wasn’t angry (we asked why he was angry) he told us he was sad and he doesn’t know why he was sad or why he’d done what he did.
If anyone has any advice please help, we ran out of things to do and professional help isn’t an option, our city has really poor services and they all direct us prescribed drugs (expensive and not something we want for a ten year old to risk reliance on). Our family aren’t easy to anger, and none of us have a physical display of it, the worst we get is shouting so we don’t know how to help him. Physical discipline have not happen with him ever.

Dads, I'm looking for someone with similar feelings towards parenting. I feel like I'm loosing my shit with my 2 kids (3yo, 10mo). And by loosing my shit i mean i came to a point, where i can't find any solution different than simply running away. But its not an option for me. I've never felt this stuck, helpless and alone my entire life...
Just to give you some more context - there's nothing wrong with the kids themselves. I would even say we have it a bit easier than most regular parents. We do have family support from both ends, we are financially safe, thank god quite healthy and our marriage is in good spot as well.
Also, I'm having a great relationship with the kids. I'm working from home and have plenty of time to spend with both of them. They treat both of us equally in terms of playing/staying with/hugging/etc. Basically there's no difference for them between mommy and daddy, which to be honest I'm quite proud of.
I've tried a lot of stuff to help me out, but none seems to be working. The compound effects of 3 years of parenting start to feel overwhelming. Lack of sleep, not enough alone time, overstimulation, monotony and tiredness are taking its toll on my health. To the point where i've become someone I wish i'd never become - an overreacting guy in his late 20s, resentful about the way his life looks...
I really love my fam and I do everything I can to support and provide for them, but it seems like my powers are diminishing.
Is there anything that helped you when you were at your lowest when it comes to parenting? Any advice would be much appreciated.

Seems like a low effort post based on the title, but bear with me for a while.
We've long established that the definition of rich varies from person to person, so I'll leave it to you to decide what you think is considered rich. NRY, Not Rich Yet, implies that you will be rich eventually. So what's your plan to achieve this?
For me, to be rich would be achieve around $4-5m net worth. Was just doing some reflection during my afternoon swim, and realised that that is difficult number to achieve with just salary alone. Even if you have a generous package of $300k-400k a year, which most people will agree is quite substantial, you won't hit those numbers until you've worked for more than 10 years, and that's not even taking into account tax and expenses. With those taken into consideration, maybe you need to work 20 years. I don't think in today's climate, one can be confident in sustaining this kind of job for the next 20 years. And in 20 years time, your 5m is going to worth a lot less too.
So how do you plan to get rich? We've discussed work. Maybe hope for a significant increment. But it now seems obvious to me that the only way to get rich through work is via significant share options or profit sharing.
Investments? Unless you dabble in something risky, most of the safe-ish investments is more for wealth preservation and a hedge against inflation.
Property? Getting difficult to make good money off 2nd property these days with all these cooling measures. And for own residence, I used to think that I would eventually sell my place and downgrade to a HDB for retirement, but getting attached to your own place is a very very real thing.
Then, one must also be certain that expenses tend to go up as we get older. Lifestyle inflation, I thought I was immune to this, and have tried to make it difficult for myself to spend money. Even then, this lifestyle inflation is very insidious and will gradually creep up on you. I find myself minding less about my food's costs, and taking grab more often than in the past.
If you have kids, then that's a significant expense too. As we get older, we also will have to inevitably spend more on health. Parents also get older, and we have to spend more on their health too. These are all a fact of life.
And there is always the temptation of spending more to upgrade to a bigger home, or a bigger car.
What are your thoughts? I'm more than happy to be told that I am wrong, and its actually a lot more optimistic than what I have thought in my mind.

All I have ever done in my life is yoyo diet. My weight fluctuates constantly but I generally sit around 90kg since giving birth to my daughter two years ago and that’s without any particular effort to diet or exercise. My meals are healthy and I am not a lazy person (I’m not sure you can be with a two year old lol) I am active in the sense that I’m always up and either playing with my daughter, running around a soft play with her or around the house doing housework. I don’t drive so I walk everywhere including to work and to some groups that are an hours walk away.
I know that my big issues are snacking, a sweet tooth that I overindulge too much, comfort eating the wrong stuff when I’ve had a stressful day, and lack of motivation to do actual focused exercise. I start stuff ALL the time, weight loss plans, exercise groups, you name it, I don’t stick to it. I’ve also tried intuitive eating but I never really get it. Then, when I fall off it I really fall off it. I have a problem with emotional eating and also had my food heavily restricted when I was younger and in an abusive home so sometimes hunger feels like danger to me and I overcompensate which makes things complicated when it comes to diets.
I just don’t know how to stick to something. I see all these people with the most amazing motivation and perseverance and I just want to be able to find that within myself. Whilst I’m physically healthy right now, I know this lifestyle comes with potential health problems down the line and I want to stick around for as long as possible for my daughter, how is that not enough motivation for me in itself?
I think it’s a mindset thing, I’m way too black and white when it comes to weight loss and it’s all or nothing for me when I clearly need a happy medium that’s both sustainable but also gets results. I guess I’m just wondering if anyone has been in this boat before and what you did to combat the constant on and off nature of it all? I honestly feel like such a failure.

This person was very interested in science stuff right from his childhood but have always been a little bit lazy in working hard and studying. But he is a gifted guy so throughout school, he didn't have to put in so much hardwork. In coaching, he did study full hours and got into one of the first gen IITs. He dropped out (stopped giving exams) when COVID break started. I'm guessing he was afraid of failing exams because he didn't study for that semester because of staying at home. He started thinking that his brain is not working. He didn't tell this to their parents until two and half years later. Their parents being old, didn't check upon him until they got to know from one of his concerned friends who was trying to reach to him.
I'm his sibling, myself a student of a different first-gen IITs, get extreme panick attacks when thinking about his future and his mental health. I am reaching out for help over here. I don't know how to talk to him and get him out of his fear. He has so much potential. What I'm worried about is not the potential and not the future. I'm worried about how much anxiety he's going through and how much he's avoiding it. And at some point, it's gonna hit him. I'm afraid of what might happen then. I want to help him out of his state and unwind the anxiety slowly. I don't care if he goes back to college. I know he has enough potential to get his life together without being an iitian. But I want him to get out of his fear loop. I love him and this is taking a toll on me so hard.
About our communication: We both are very shy when it comes to talking about our emotions. More like impulsive. Before I get the ability to speak, I cry. And when I cry, the communication just doesn't happen anymore. He before he gets the ability to speak, he either gets anxious or angry and closes off. So it's kinda terrible.
I want to try counseling (for full family if possible) but my dad I don't think believesin mental health and I don't think will invest money into it. Rather than counseling, they are ready to get some extremely costly shock treatments just mentioned by a random psychologist after 3 sessions (I know! Fucking stupid) .
I'm open to suggestions. I am willing to get over the shyness/awkwardness of the talks but I just want something just right to say. because otherwise, he might close off again and I don't want that to happen..
PS.. I think I should change the flair from education to vent

Please read! My friend brought up a very good point the other night.
I showed him Joannies videos for the first time (he was so fucking shocked yall. It was hilarious. I showed him the make out video and he went bright red, jaw hit the floor, he couldn’t believe what he saw. It was hilarious showing someone her videos for the first time and seeing their reaction)
ANYWAY- he brought up a very good point that I never thought about and I think you guys would love to hear this too. He mentioned recent case where parents were charged for involuntary manslaughter:
Is anyone familiar with the Ethan Crumbley case? He’s a 17 year old who shot up a school and his parents were also charged along with him. 10 years! They found that there were many disturbing signs leading up the shooting. Here is a copy and paste from one of the articles I found:
“The Crumbleys were accused of not securing the newly purchased gun at home and acting indifferently to signs of their son’s deteriorating mental health, especially when confronted with a chilling classroom drawing earlier that same day.”
Cash has hit and beat up other children at both of the schools he attended before being banned, 2 different strangers: a woman cashier at a food lion, and another at a Walmart. He beat his teacher so bad she ended up having to get surgery and never returned to work. The only reason nothing has happened to him yet is because all of these cases went unreported (Joannie is so lucky no one has pressed charges yet)
There is no way in hell they’re going to keep getting this lucky. I promise you. It’s only a matter of time before cash gets older, bigger, and as we’ve seen the violence is not getting even a little bit better. He looks like an adult man and nowhere near 12. And let’s not forget he’s almost 13, a teenager. Teens can be tried as adults depending on the severity of the case. He is going to act it one day at the wrong place, wrong time. And I guarantee someone will either press charges, or he’s going to act out in front of a cop one day.
If something gets reported or taken to trial, you all realize Joannie has all the evidence someone would need to win a case against her? ALL POSTED ONLINE. I don’t think she’s even thought this far ahead. She’s enjoying all this Tik Tok fame and money now, but she seriously needs to be careful. Just like the case mentioned above, if cash ever seriously hurt or killed someone, they could so easily pull up her tik tok and see that she’s done NOTHING to prevent it happening. She dosnt have him in school or therapy, and he’s severely autistic and violent. That could be seen as pure neglect in the courts eyes. Someone like him with his diagnosis NEEDS ABA and therapy to live a successfully life and he has none of the above. From what we’ve seen, it dosnt even look like she’s actually home schooling him. It looks to be that he’s just autistic and not getting any type of help or therapy. Not to mention they could pull up all her CPS cases.
Thoughts?

Degrees and Certifications:
Education: Master of Education Leadership Texas State University
Bachelor of Science, History University of Texas at Tyler
Certifications: Principal (EC-12) Social Studies (8-12) Social Studies (4-8)
Mr. Brent Duvall
https://x.com/fbisdchiefrider Dr. Aaron Morgan
COACH YOUNG
My name is Dr. Aaron Young Morgan. I am the Health and Physical Education teacher at Dulles Elementary. This is my 8th year teaching. During the 2020-2021 academic school year, I was honored as the campus Teacher of the Year at Dulles ES. Previously, I was at Heritage Rose Elementary as the P.E. aide. In addition, one year prior to working at Heritage Rose, I had the opportunity to start my teaching career at Burton Elementary. I recently graduated from Texas Southern University's education administration doctoral program in Houston, Texas. Currently, I am working on earning my administration certification.
I enjoy exercising, reading, and spending time with family and friends in my spare time.
KEEP CALM and LOVE PE
Coach Young
.

How do I (24m) tell my girlfriend (23f) I am moving country whether she comes or not.
So for a bit of context I 24m have been with my partner 23f for under three years. I have always told her of my dream of moving to Australia on a working holiday visa to which she always told me she shared.
She has been living a few hours away for the past three years while studying. She has now finished however a little over a year ago I told her I wanted to get serious about this move and plan it for September this year so I had time to save for the both of us and she could have a few months at home after finishing study.
As soon as I tried to be serious about it she would instantly go quiet with me and did not want to talk to me about the subject at all. She would make comments that I am rushing this and I have my life to travel to which my reply is that I want to do this while still in my mid 20s and I am not happy In the uk so I don’t want to waste my time stuck somewhere I don’t want to be.
We went round In circles for months about this issue and it was impossible to speak to her about it. I eventually hit breaking point and tried ending the relationship to which she broke down and told me she would come with me in September so I stayed.
About two months later I tried talking to her about booking flights to which she froze again and told me she was going to ask me to delay until OctobeNovember so she has more time to save money.
I have saved a very large amount of money so that we can afford this in September so there is no stress when it comes to the money aspect of it at all so this delay to me makes no sense as I am miserable in the uk and don’t want to waste another two months of my life unhappy for no reason.
My visa is also due to expire mid September which would also mean me forking out another $635 to re apply just to leave a month or two later.
Last week I tried to bring the move up to her and told her I wanted to book her visa and start looking at flights to which she didn’t really respond too and I felt like I was back at square one. I then asked her if she still wanted to move there with me to which she hesitantly replied yes to but didn’t really say anything else. I feel as if I just sank into myself and didn’t know how to even deal with it. I genuinely felt like I had got no where in the past 10 months of trying to speak to her about it I then told her I want to do this in September as that is when my visa expires and it is the perfect time to travel there before we need to find work.
She went silent on me and we didn’t say much for the next hour and I ended up feeling bad and didn’t try and bring it up that night again because I felt like I was In the wrong.
I have since seen her and haven’t been able to bring myself to even try and talk about it as I know she will just get upset and go silent with me again I physically feel like I can’t speak to her about it anymore but by not speaking to her my mental health is becoming terrible I think about this daily and all I want to do is plan it so I can finally look forward to it and think about quitting my job that is making me unhappy and actually do something I’ve always wanted to do which is travel.
I am honestly lost with in myself. I am miserable in this country and I want out and in ten months I have made no progress. She tells me she wants to come which keeps me happy I then try and make progress to book things and start planning it and getting excited with her and we hit a brick wall.
I feel like I just need to tell her I am booking my flight and if she isn’t ready then she can follow me over there when the time is right for her but I don’t know how to even go about it. I know when I try she will go silent with me and she will make me feel bad for not waiting for her but I honestly can’t put myself through any more waiting.
She has had close to a year to decide on this yet I feel as if I’m stuck in the exact same position I was when I first brought it up with her. I want her to come with me and I want to share this experience with her but I don’t know what to do in this situation at all but I want out of this country and I want to start planning it but I keep getting stopped in my tracks.
How do I bring this up to my partner in the nicest way possible and am I being unfair or am I doing the right thing?
Tl;dr I have tried for months to chase my dream and my partner has done nothing but delay me. I am now wanting to book my flight and don’t know how to tell her.

Story so far: (can skip the bit in italics)
Adopted 2 cats in 2022, a mother and a kitten. Mother (M) was unspayed, kitten (D) was a skinny little bugger.
Both healthy enough, mum's poop could be a little soft and smelly at times but I figured that was just her poop.
Fast forward a year, i haven't spayed her yet because honestly I feel bad doing it, but i know it's the best thing to do. So I come to the compromise - i will let her have one more litter of kittens and then get her spayed. So I find a good stud cat on the net and get the deed done. A couple months later she gives birth to 5 healthy kittens and one stillborn.
I feed mum more now since she's eating for 6, but her poop becomes really bad, and the kittens have a few poop issues too. I find good homes for 4 out of the 5 and get them away, but for the fifth kitten a buyer drops out at the last minute, and I end up stuck with her (S). Anyway, she's lovely but occasionally has bright red blood in her stool which is worrying.
So i get her poop tested and it comes back with a pure growth of beta haemolytic ecoli. I then get the other two's poop tested and they also come back with beta haemolytic ecoli (predominating but not pure). They are put on a 20 day course of amox/clav, after which i get them all tested again. The older 2, M and D, now don't have signs of the infection, but S, the kitten, still has it and it is now also resistant to amox/clav.
Go back to the vet, they give her an injection of cefovecin (I think that's the name), wait a bit, get them all tested again - now M has the infection again, predominating but not pure, D is still clear and S has pure ecoli culture in her poop - BUT it is no longer flagging as resistant.
These tests were last week so I've sent them to my vet who is yet to get back to me - just asking around here if anyone has any insight.
Firstly, it seems unusual to me that the ecoli that was first flagging as resistant in S has now become sensitive to amox/clav. Not that I am complaining as amox seems to be the most effective antibiotic out of the lot for it, but just unusual. I called the lab that did the test and they said they have changed their methodology and now use some equipment which is more accurate.
And secondly, just seeking general advice on how to bring their guts back to health. Can 2 antibiotics be administered at the same time? amox and cef? I know it would be strong for S (she's 7 months old) but she is well within herself, active and running around playing with her sister. M is an adult and at least 3.5 years old. Maybe fighting the infection on 2 fronts would be more effective? Just seeking advice here, I would like my kitties to be free of this disease and will do what needs to be done for that to happen.
(and in case you are wondering, M is spayed now and i told all the people who took kittens from me about the infection the moment S's first test came back and again when M and D's tests came back)

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The whole thing started a week ago. My daughter(F14) asked me to let her drive my car. I have 2 cars a Porsche and a Kia. I never let anyone drive my Porsche. I love it too much to allow that. I do let her drive the Kia sometimes(if we are in a long, wide, straight road with no people or cars around). I said no to her and she got upset. We had a small fight about it but I though that was the end of it.
At night when I was asleep I got a call from her, crying and saying how sorry she is. I asked what has happened and where is she and she told me that she snuck out to drive my Porsche and got into an accident. I got her as fast as I could and thank god the accident was with a tree and my daughter was fine except for a mild concussion. I was very mad but I was so worried that I couldn't really feel any anger at the time. We took her to the hospital and once she was discharged I I finally started to feel angry. As soon as we got home I started yelling at her and told her she shouldn't have done that. She started to cry again and said "I'm sorry that I ruined your car. This is all you care about right?"
That is when I started seeing red. I yelled at her and told her that I can go buy another damn car but I can't go buy another damn daughter can I? I told her that she really overstepped by implying that I don't care about her health. I told her she is not getting any pocket money from now on and I'm taking away the money she had saved, she will write "I will never put myself in danger" 1000 times, she can forget about her ps5 and her laptop because I'm taking it all away, she will chose some of her stuff to donate, she will be cleaning all the toilets from now on and she is grounded. I haven't decided how long this should go on but I think doing it for about 6 months will teach her a lesson.
My wife thinks I'm an asshole and I'm overreacting because she is already sorry and learned her lesson and my wife thinks I'm just doing it because she "hurt my ego" by saying I care about my car more and my daughter has been crying every day and apologizing.

*** This is a rather long post and if not allowed my apologies. I’m not even sure if this is the proper place to post this but I’ve been a lurker since I had my LO & would just like to share my story…
I struggled with this for weeks. Practically from the moment I had my LO. It’s taken five weeks of debating myself, questioning myself, stressing myself out to decide the switch had to be made for myself.
I started EBF & everything was fine at first until it wasn’t. Cluster feeding kicked my butt and put a major strain on my mental health. A strain I couldn’t afford to deal with on top of everything else that comes during postpartum.
I thought pumping would solve that problem but if anything it made it worse. It was nice to be able to better see how much my LO ate and to increase my supply but almost immediately the stress of when to pump, how much I pumped, & engorgement reared its ugly head because LO had no desire to be put down. I was a “just-enough” pumper so there came the mental load of was there a better pump to buy, what pieces worked best, what style of pump would be better, creating a better schedule, what to eat to help increase supply, etc. It all came down to me not having a single moment to myself no matter how helpful my husband was when he wasn’t working. It felt like all of my free time was dedicated to pumping once I could get LO off of me long enough to do so. All because I wanted LO to exclusively drink breast milk since it’s been engraved in my brain that that’s “what’s best.”
Meanwhile I felt like my relationship with my first child took a major hit. There may be possible signs of PPD that I absolutely intend on mentioning to my doctor at my upcoming 6 week appt but the stress of pumping has absolutely exacerbated my bad moods and unfortunately my first has taken the brunt of it. I’ve been impatient, short-tempered, and overall a very unpleasant version of myself and we’ve butted heads constantly because of it. The guilt/shame that I felt when I reflected on my interactions with him was the straw that broke that camels back for me.
I finally made the choice to go EFF. I started by supplementing with formula and luckily we found a brand that LO tolerated right away with no major issue. I’ve continued pumping without a strict regimen for the sake of preventing engorging and have been able to incorporate that with the formula to make the transition smoother for LO. Finally today I’m going to be able to have a mommy/son day with my first while hubby stays home with LO. No having to worry about pumping to leave milk for hubby, wondering if I’ve pumped enough, or trying to rush through our day to make it back home for any reason. It’s a day I feel my first and I need & I couldn’t be more excited for it.
My decision felt selfish at first. I felt like a failure for giving in and not powering through to my goal of six months like I had done with my first. But then I think about my circumstances and realize that things are not the same. My family needs a better version of me. I can’t afford to go through the things I went through when I had my first. I managed but it was one of the most difficult times of my life and if I could go back and give myself the grace I needed, I would’ve done the same then that I’m doing now.
I’ve come to realize that the decision to make the switch isn’t just in the best interest of my LO but in the best interest of myself also. What good is EBF if I’m absolutely miserable? What good am I to my family if EBF/pumping stressed me out to the max?
I’m not sure if this will resonate with anyone but it’s something I thought may be helpful to share. I’m hoping at least one person who’s struggling maybe reads this and it helps tip the scales for them to make the choice that’s not just best for their LO but also a choice that’s best for them. ♥️

My ex M24 and I F23 got together back dec 2020, found out I was pregnant in Oct 2021 and had now 2F in July 2022. We had the perfect relationship till she was born but he was always unhappy in our home town. He kept asking me to move to a different area or country which I didn’t want to do because it’s away from family and it’s not cheap flying back to NZ from overseas. In Nov 2023 I told him to just move because I could tell he was unhappy. So we decided to end our relationship and he loved overseas beginning of this year. I started dating M30 a couple months ago and have been so happy, he treats my daughter and I amazing but I’m unsure if I am physically attracted to him. I’ve just come to realise I’m still in love with my ex and the dream of being a family. I heard he just got a new gf and is kinda settling into his new city, he has bad days and good days.
I wish i compromised and moved to a different area in our country as it’s a short flight home and I would’ve kept our family.
I emailed him tonight asking if he ever saw a future with our daughter and I in a different area of NZ. I’m not sure how he will reply. I really hope he says yes but my whole family hate him and the way he chose to leave us but I would do anything to work on our things and to give it another shot.
Am I being dumb? What do I do about the guy I’m dating? I don’t want to loose him because he’s amazing but I also have so much hope for my baby daddy. But I feel silly because he threw us away and moved so easy but I do know it was down to his mental health. What do I do?
TLDR: baby daddy moved and moved on. Am i silly for wanting him back?

I grew up with a great uncle who was deaf and got tired of having to have my great aunt translate for me. So I told him to please teach me enough to communicate with him. He did and little by little since I was a child I began learning ASL little by little. It got to the point where years ago I had a heard of hearing student who mom was fully deaf. For some reason while the kids were ding independent work I began practicing spelling words they asked to spell with my fingers.
The student went home and told her mom that day. Next day mom approaches me before school, notebook app on phone open with the following message: thank you for taking the time to learn what you can in my language. We will practice together. And since then she would only communicate with me in ASL, explaining signs that eluded me, and my heard of hearing student began doing the same.
Fast forward to recently when my hearing is now bothering me to the point I am getting really worried. I know ASL is how I want to go communication wise when my hearing starts to require the use of hearing aids. Been implementing little phrases like no more talking, I will wait, bathroom, and preaching my finger spelling. Would love to dive fully back into this as I know, seen how hard my dad worked to communicate with hearing aids, it will help in long run.
So please can you point me in the direction of any apps, YouTube videos, Tik Toks, and anything else you think can help. I really want to become semi fluent, enough to get points across first, before moving forward even more.
THABK YOU FOR THE HELP

So for a bit of context I 24m have been with my partner 23f for under three years. I have always told her of my dream of moving to Australia on a working holiday visa to which she always told me she shared.
She has been living a few hours away for the past three years while studying. She has now finished however a little over a year ago I told her I wanted to get serious about this move and plan it for September this year so I had time to save for the both of us and she could have a few months at home after finishing study.
As soon as I tried to be serious about it she would instantly go quiet with me and did not want to talk to me about the subject at all. She would make comments that I am rushing this and I have my life to travel to which my reply is that I want to do this while still in my mid 20s and I am not happy In the uk so I don’t want to waste my time stuck somewhere I don’t want to be.
We went round In circles for months about this issue and it was impossible to speak to her about it. I eventually hit breaking point and tried ending the relationship to which she broke down and told me she would come with me in September so I stayed.
About two months later I tried talking to her about booking flights to which she froze again and told me she was going to ask me to delay until OctobeNovember so she has more time to save money.
I have saved a very large amount of money so that we can afford this in September so there is no stress when it comes to the money aspect of it at all so this delay to me makes no sense as I am miserable in the uk and don’t want to waste another two months of my life unhappy for no reason.
My visa is also due to expire mid September which would also mean me forking out another $635 to re apply just to leave a month or two later.
Last week I tried to bring the move up to her and told her I wanted to book her visa and start looking at flights to which she didn’t really respond too and I felt like I was back at square one. I then asked her if she still wanted to move there with me to which she hesitantly replied yes to but didn’t really say anything else. I feel as if I just sank into myself and didn’t know how to even deal with it. I genuinely felt like I had got no where in the past 10 months of trying to speak to her about it I then told her I want to do this in September as that is when my visa expires and it is the perfect time to travel there before we need to find work.
She went silent on me and we didn’t say much for the next hour and I ended up feeling bad and didn’t try and bring it up that night again because I felt like I was In the wrong.
I have since seen her and haven’t been able to bring myself to even try and talk about it as I know she will just get upset and go silent with me again I physically feel like I can’t speak to her about it anymore but by not speaking to her my mental health is becoming terrible I think about this daily and all I want to do is plan it so I can finally look forward to it and think about quitting my job that is making me unhappy and actually do something I’ve always wanted to do which is travel.
I am honestly lost with in myself. I am miserable in this country and I want out and in ten months I have made no progress. She tells me she wants to come which keeps me happy I then try and make progress to book things and start planning it and getting excited with her and we hit a brick wall.
I feel like I just need to tell her I am booking my flight and if she isn’t ready then she can follow me over there when the time is right for her but I don’t know how to even go about it. I know when I try she will go silent with me and she will make me feel bad for not waiting for her but I honestly can’t put myself through any more waiting.
She has had close to a year to decide on this yet I feel as if I’m stuck in the exact same position I was when I first brought it up with her. I want her to come with me and I want to share this experience with her but I don’t know what to do in this situation at all but I want out of this country and I want to start planning it but I keep getting stopped in my tracks.
How do I bring this up to my partner in the nicest way possible for the sake of my own mental health?

Hey ladies!!! So, I just wanted to make this post to hopefully give some women HOPE. I have been on Oral Minoxidil since November 2023. I take 2.5mg twice a day. I took it daily, never missing a dose. I LOOKED FORWARD to taking it, because my hair loss was so extreme at that point that I was terrified to even brush my hair, let alone wash it. It seemed to get a little worse 3-5 months in, but the research I saw told me that was common. BUT... about 1 1/2-2 months ago (so, late April-beginning of May) it STOPPED FALLING OUT!!!!!! I went from ONE time brushing FILLING up my brush, no joke, to one time barely seeing any hair fall out. My clothes and pillowcases aren't COVERED in my hair anymore. I can run my hands thru my hair now, with only several pieces coming out, instead of several hundred. I worked in salons most of my life. NOT getting a HC is unheard of for me. I haven't had a HC in over 3 years because I was TOO SCARED of how much would fall out with the combs they use. I have been doing a poor job of trimming my own hair at home and just wearing it up for 3 years. I am now READY to go get a LEGIT cut, knowing the hair loss has STOPPED. Ladies... If you try Oral Minoxidil, just stick with it. I swear it WILL kick in, and when it does, it will be amazing. Plus, I am broke... I can't afford rogaine foam, and being honest... I am not disciplined enough to use it daily, maybe even twice a day. I am lucky to have insurance that covers most of my cost, but if you don't, check GoodRX prices in your local area. Just need to know the dose and quantity. My peach fuzz has seemed to get a little worse, but that is a small price to pay to have my hair coming back. Thank God for razors and clippers! 😬😂 Other than that, I haven't had ANY side effects. We can remove hair... Adding it back in, sadly, is not as easy. I just TRULY wanted to give other ladies hope, and let you know that this just may be a great option for you. The relief I have felt for the last 1 1/2-2 months has been indescribable. My PCP prescribes it for me. I do have several health issues, Fibromyalgia being a main one, but I dunno if that is causing this? Oh, I have type 2 diabetes, also. I am guessing it is like the foam, that if you stop using, the hair loss will start again? I have no plans on stopping, I refuse to find out the hard way 🥺 Just hoping to provide some hope to those wondering what to do or if the oral medication is right for you. I know how desperate feeling it can be. I am now just waiting to see what grows back. I am HOPING it will help my brows grow back, but I'll be HAPPY just to have my hair again. Sending tons of love. This is just a horrible thing to have to experience as a woman. Huge hugs to you all. I'll check back to see if I can help answer anymore questions, but I covered what I can think of here. Again... It takes a while, so DONT QUIT. You have to let it kick in 6-8 months before results. I am SO GLAD I stuck with it. Again... My blood work has not shown an exact cause. Could be either of the two I mentioned, or could be found in the future... I wish I had an exact cause. I DO know my scalp usually hurts and itches all the time. So sensitive it is hard to touch most of the time... Washing my hair without HUGE CLUMPS coming out is a feeling I can't even describe. Love you all. Hang in there, ladies ❤️
Much Love- Andrea 🥰

I got married at 26 knowing I had endometriosis. TTC naturally for two years and never saw a BFP even after ablation of endo. In the process, discovered one fallopian tube was closed. My Ob Gyn said I would most likely need IVF but tried fertility drugs (clomid, trigger etc.) and no success. I skipped IUI and went straight to IVF. Joined WW and went from 220 to 180 lbs. exercised 5 days a week and tried to maintain a whole foods diet. VCU Health had a 6 IVF with ICSI package for roughly 20k. If you don't take home a baby after 6 rounds, you get a refund. This did not include meds and anesthesia. We purchased the package. There was a grant making meds $1500. After two rounds of IVF, the grant was lost and meds cost $4500 per round. Both rounds only produced 4-5 embryos. I had a fresh transfer and the embryos only grew to 5 days max. No success. The 3rd fresh transfer was during covid (2021) and only produced 3-4 embryos no more than 5 days old. No success. I got a therapist, quit WW and stopped going to the gym. I got a less stressful job than teaching, bought a house and gained weight (skyrocketed to 250 pounds). I took a break from IVF and ignored my biological clock. During the 4th round, I only produced two embryos; one was good and the other so so. The doctor recommended stopping until he remembered that I had a package. My mom was the one who reminded me that all it takes is 1 (and to eat pineapple 🤷‍♀️...what did I have to lose???). She and my husband had all of the faith that this was possible. I was emotionally and physically depleted and was preparing myself for five millionth BFN. I remember watching the episode of Young Sheldon when Sheldon had the awards party and no one showed. Sheldon cried because he realized at this point in life, he had no friends. At the end of the episode, it showed all of Sheldon's friends he'd have in the future on the Big Bang Theory. I cried because it gave me hope that one day, my circumstances would change, too. The next day, I went accompanied my father while he was buying a boat and I received a call. The clinic called and put me on speaker phone letting me know that my blood had hcg (43). I was pregnant for the first time in my life at 36 years old and bigger than I'd ever been. I was in shock and as I hold my son, I still am in shock.
Several things had to happen to help me get through this:

1. Support: I had to KNOW my husband would stay and love me whether we had kids or not. TTC/IVF is not sexy and can suck the romance out of a relationship. Make sure you have someone strong by your side to weather the storms, your emotions and the let down after failing TTC. My mom was my strength. Choose one BFF in your life who loves you unconditionally; for me, it was my mom. I would caution telling others about IVF while going through it. If they've never been through it, they just won't understand. An excellent therapist is a must. She helped me to focus on one day at a time and see the glass half full. Find the best IVF doctor you can and trust the process. Make sure you get along with and trust your doctor and the team.
2. Rest and Less Stress: Covid forced me to re-evaluate my life. I got a less stressful career, stepped down from the church praise team, ate whatever I wanted and just rested. I don't recommend gaining weight but I do recommend relaxing (no new weird diets, exercises or supplements that might put your body in shock before IVF). The IVF meds will do what they need to do. Just rest and do things to make yourself happy.
3. Have a financial plan. If you can find a package deal, it is wonderful. After accepting that we may never have kids, we were going to take the refund money and travel in Europe for a month. The money alone can destroy your relationship. Make sure you can handle this financially because it is brutal.
4. Growth: Make sure that you find a way to travel, go back to school, have fun, buy a house etc. If you put all of your time, effort and money into having a child and it never happens, you could suffer from massive depression. To prevent that, have a life outside of TTC.
5. Set boundaries: Tread carefully when telling people. Most ppl just don't understand if they've never been through this. They think your whining about silver spoon problems. I had to cancel affairs due to IVF and I had to take a step back from anything that caused me stress (family members, church obligations, babyshowers (sometimes), after school obligations etc. I've found that people at church especially don't know how to handle this. You can request prayer without telling people why.

Ok this been going on for more than a week now, where I live the house has no history of anything bad, my bf previous gf pass away in the house and I know she’s a good person, I been living here more than a year I had few moments of can’t be explained but doesn’t linger like this one.
I have collection of porcelain dolls not of them are hunted since it’s been months since I got them. I can usually feel them sometimes see but hearing very few moments. Also premonition dream or warning dreams. It doesn’t bother me until this past days.
At first I thought because I watched a footage of a ghost child and it attached to me , I know few things like this happened when I’m in not in my best health I’m currently recovering from a surgery. I usually ignore it but this one seems a bothersome.
The feeling starts happening like someone is looking at me from my window and my room is upstairs. Sometimes I feel someone is with me in my room since I can’t see it I shrug it. At one point I have to sleep at the other room where my partner is, when he got home from work he told me he had a dream about haunted house with porcelain dolls that the dolls are located in a odd shelf hanging mid air… and I was like well great now I brought this to him, he doesn’t have any sensitivity like me… I told him that this morning I couldn’t take it anymore being watched so I move to his room for a nap.. he told me maybe ask what it wants but I didn’t want to encourage it and invite more, but tonight I try to cuddle with him and end up falling asleep in his room he ended up waking me up from a nightmare.
I dream I was downstairs it’s out house saw some of my dolls all over the stairs so I start going up stairs and saw more in the hallway and two more in our restroom started to feel uneasy and I started screaming and calling for him and he woke me up, and I ask if he heard me having a nightmare and he said yes.
So I ended up waking up go to restroom and I heard talking outside the restroom at first I thought maybe he left the tv downstairs. . But nope heard couple sounds like house is settling none of this happened before.
Yesterday watch trolls kids movie and I thought it left already.Currently watching teen titans cartoons it kinda calms it down, whatever it is, it’s not downstairs but upstairs. I think it might be a child or kid .
We also have 3 cats and a dog. One of the cat is a total people person he loves attention and act like a dog. This cat won’t go near me every time I ask him to come in my room he would just meow at me and stares at me like 10 steps away from me , this happened 3x already. I ask the same cat to come near me if I’m downstairs or if I’m in a different room and he doesn’t have problem with it. The same cat went to my room before coz as I said he loves attention but not anymore.
Now I don’t know what to do should I interact and ask what it wants or just keep ignoring it. How do I handle this? What will you do? Should I get a spirit box and ask?

28M, living at home still.
My life hasn't been easy, and sure I can level the playing field by saying no one's life has been easy. We all go through things, we all struggle, and there are those who overcome those struggles, and those who stay in those struggles.
To me, it almost seems like no matter how much I try to overcome my struggles, there was always one or two more things that came out of nowhere and made everything worse than the struggles previously, just to knock me back down a few more pegs. I'll give you some examples: at 24, while striving for a full-time position at the hardware store I was working at to secure stability and independence, I was wrongfully fired. Compounding the stress caused by later being diagnosed with Ulcerative Proctitis (ulcerative colitis), and the looming need for personal health insurance. A stroke of luck came when my mom's friend facilitated a job opportunity, but the role of a mortgage servicer proved mentally and emotionally taxing, exacerbated by the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic and eventual quarantine. Despite grappling with trauma and disillusionment from the corporate world, I found solace in joining my best friend's candle business at 26, albeit facing daunting challenges accessing affordable health insurance due to income restrictions and exorbitant medication costs for the condition ($600-$1200 without insurance). The only way I could see a way out was either by balancing multiple part-time jobs and working insane amount of hours, finding a full-time job with benefits, or staying exactly where I was by flying underneath the goverment required limit of hours one can work, so as to recieve free healthcare by only working with my friend (who wasn't giving me very many hours to begin with since it is a small-business of just her and I). I chose to stay where I was because there were more layers behind just the need for healthcare that was in the recesses of my psyche which were self-esteem issues, finding a sense of purpose, the seeking of therapy to work through these issues, eating disorders that have been around since I was a kid, and the perpetual loneliness I had been feeling for quite sometime. You might be wondering, "why didn't he just move out and find a roommate?" I don't want a roommate, and see no difference in living with someone like a roommate and learning to adapt to their lifestyle, or living with my mother who I already know the lifestyle of.
Nevertheless at some point, I found a YouTube channel called, "HealthyGamerGG." Where the creator known as Dr. K talks to everyone in his community about mental health matters. I learned about alexithymia (which is correlated to my sense of purpose), he talks about self-esteem, he talks about confidence and finding a partner, and I'm just soaking it all up! I'm learning everything I could, I'm talking to all of my friends about this stuff too and they're noticing a change in me. At some point, I started going to therapy and my therapists started noticing the changes in me as well, I even started going to the gym. I finally find a sense of purpose, and I go out on a limb and try something in IT--my friend told me I could shadow him at work, and he was going to help me through getting a job.
Despite the significant personal growth and improvements in various aspects of my life, such as self-esteem, ambition, and healing from trauma and Alexithymia, I still struggle to find love. The issue: there is an initial expectation of perfection early on, which often overshadows deeper connection and understanding of nuance in personal situation. In essence, there's a lack of flexibility and grace for each other. Of course, while I endeavor to be transparent about my journey without overwhelming potential partners, my life is far from stagnant and there is a clear path forward with much ambition (something I've been told that many women are looking for in men); I'm actively pursuing certifications in IT to eventually land a job, I'm learning French, I'm engaging in photography, and I'm maintaining a fitness routine. However, I recognize that my life feels incomplete without a partner to share experiences and contribute to mutual growth, aiming for a relationship where both individuals complement each other without relying on the other for complete fulfillment solely from one another.
A recent twitter post by a woman in her 30s sparked some discussion online a while ago, about her dating struggles due to career-focused life choices. She had a life that was very carefully designed by her own hands, and she was finding it hard to get into a relationship with someone who would fit in to the concreteness of the life that she built for herself; vs finding someone when she was younger or being a little more flexible with what she allows. At first, I thought this was just something that was significant for her life and could only be attributed to a reason why I was still single on the other side of the equation, but didn't have any consequence with how I should or have approached my own life. Upon recent reflecting on a date that happened a few weeks ago, in addition to a friend's insight about why I'm still single as a whole--with the analogy of me being a unicorn seeking another unicorn, coming from my friend--I came to the understanding that I shared in the issue immensely. The challenge for me was to find acceptence of the seemingly concrete quirks from people who didn't want to accept those quirks. This introspection revealed the need to reject limitations imposed by conditions like ARFID so that I can be embraced for actual personal traits, rather than being a unicorn seeking a "perfect match." Thus the a wider diversity of people being able to love me for me rather than most being put off by the rigidity of my quirkiness and only few trying to love me for "me," with the quirks. The aim has shifted to working on being open-minded so that compatibility isn't overshadowed by arbitrary constraits set upon by my own short-comings and traumas.
In the interim, while I can understand that people shouldn't date others based on one's "potential" or their prospect, that should only apply when someone's word doesn't match their actions. Likewise, there seems to be a lack of understanding that when you get into a relationship, you are adopting some of that person's responsibilities and/or another person as a responsibility. Relationships aren't there to make you happy, they're designed for accountability and improving in life and happiness can be a side-effect of that. Which means that you're not going to be perfect or ready when you walk into a relationship, but you become ready and you have to be willing to change. Otherwise, there is no other point to be in a relationship as there is no place for rigidity in relationship. This requires a lot of grace, patience, and understanding from both sides of the equation to work and to attempt the relationship. It's scary, but at some point everyone needs to take a leap of faith knowing that even if the grass might be greener on the otherside, you should just worry about taking care of the grass you do have instead of comparing with something that is imaginary or could potentially just be artificial.

me and this girl called z met 3 years ago and was really close best friends until she started to treat me so badly out of nowhere. i found out that her behavior is because of the guy who ive had a crush on for years was into me too. she got really pissed off and treated me as a piece of shit. so i removed her from my life for my psychological health. after leaving her we got really close with that guy called C and our relationship began. when we were in our relationship, i found out that he chatted with his ex when we were in a relationship so i broke up with him. but our break up didnt last and we got back together. we broke up for 3 times in total. our last convo was a week ago and it was the lastest. but the last three breakups were about me. my mom goes through a serious brain disease so i look after both bro my mom myself and our house. i dont have a dad so its my responsibility to take care of my mom. but its so hard to manage both myself and my mom at the same time. so i choose my mom and stopped taking care of myself. just because of taht, i told him to break up because i dont have any time looking aftrwr my mom and if we got back together im gonna do norhing but spread negativeness in to his life and i love him so he should stay away from me for his own psychological health. so we broke up a week ago. and my ex best friend Z, started to talk with me tgru small convos. yesterday, we had a school trip but it was only two classes, my class and Z and Cs class(they are in the same class) when we first got into the bus, there wasnt any empty seat so i had to sit right against C. C was sitting on the floor cuz the lack of seats. we disnt encounter. but it was okay. after we got into our destination, Z and C started to talk, stick around together and do wverything together. i mean everything. they walk together eat together laugh together… it really broke my heart. i started to cry mid trip and couldnt stop crying, everyone saw me crying and tried to help me besides that two. aftr that we got into bus to go home and when i got into bus i saw that Z sat my seat and C is tight in front of her speaking and joking again they were making physical contaxt even, and i was sitting next to D, whio is right next to Z and C so we were really close. then C started to play OUR songs, so it really broke me and i started to cry again, i lied on my other friends lap and her dress was fully wet cuz of my tears. and then, B, who saw my condition gave me his seat and i sat there cuz it was far away from them. i continued to cry again. B who is Zs best friend from kindergarten, comforted me and thanks to him i finally stopped crying after crying for two hours and drying my tears, fr i was crying and there was no tears at the point. so tahts it. its currrebtly 5 am, i woke up after sleeping for 9 hours straight to cure my headache and upset stomach after crying for hours. i really hate how people change and i hate how its really easy to break my heart. they dis all those on purpose and it really affectted me cuz i still love him and wish the best for him but what the fuck is this situation
excuse my english its my third language and my mind is blank so i cant think straight.

What if the reasons they say they're not ready, that it's not me it's them, and that they need to work on themselves are tangible and readily understandable reasons?
Asking because I'm heartbroken and was dumped by a truly wonderful, incredible man who's going through a mental health crisis and insists that I am amazing, incredible, the best girlfriend he's ever had, and that I'm genuinely irreplaceable, but he's just not ready or emotionally available to give me the commitment I deserve and is letting me go so I don't have to be "dragged along" through a relationship he says he won't be able to invest into while he works on himself. This probably all sounds like bullshit to you, and tbh at first it did to me, but for some perspective: He doesn't have a driver's license, he lives at home with his aging grandparents, he's physically unhealthy, he has severe self-esteem issues, he doesn't have health insurance because his job pays like shit (9 dollars an hour after taxes), and he is so depressed and stressed out that he feels emotionally numb to the point that he was struggling to even feel love and butterflies for me. He also lied to me about a few things (3 things) in the relationship, though he confessed/admitted to them immediately and all of them can be directly traced straight to his severe issues with guilt and shame. None involve cheating or super major things btw. I bring this last point up because he named himself lying to me about stupid shit as one of the things that pushed him to make this decision, because that behavior is unacceptable and the underlying reasons for it are something he must tackle immediately and heavily.
Everyone I've spoken to, including literal strangers who've never met either of us, agree that he probably does love me deeply and there's a very good chance we'll be together again someday, and this isn't a cop out excuse. I will say that while this semi came out of nowhere, there were definite signs beforehand, and his mental health absolutely was getting worse and worse over the months. But how do I even cope? He wants to be friends and I do too, but being friends with him is like cutting open a wound every single day. I have to hold back the immense amount of love for him, because I know (and he also knows, because he literally said this to me) that I have to treat him like a friend and not like the most important person in my life, even though he is.
I know the knee-jerk reaction from most people is going to be "screw him, no contact forever", but please understand comments like that hurt me immensely, too. We don't even refer to each other as each others' exes because we love each other that much. He's just truly not ready for the commitment and wants to work on himself before considering a relationship with anyone. He's trying hard to not lead me on, though he has said some things which both hurt me and give me hope--but to be honest a good chunk of me being lead on is literally my friends' fault. Out of around ~20 people I've talked to about this situation, legit every single person, including the ones who dislike him for his decision to break up with me, agree that the chances of us getting back together someday are very high. I was legit told by 3 separate people to "just chill out and don't even stress, he's still yours he just doesn't know it, just vibe and focus on yourself and give him a little space but not too much."
Help.