Long time ball main here, GM1 ~1,000 hours, pre OW1 player. Just wanted to chime in with my own personal ways on how I counter the usual characters (sombra, hog, brig, etc).
We’ve all been there. You steamroll the first team fight. You assassinate the widow. You win a 2v1 vs the supports in the backline. All of a sudden, you hear the sound of a translocator being thrown near you. Sombra rears her ugly little head to try and ruin your fun.
You’ll encounter three types of sombras: the overly aggressive one that goes for your team (easy), the overly defensive ones that babysit you and solely peels (medium), and the ones that do both (hard).
The first and most important thing you should do is decide which one you’re facing. The agro sombras are usually dealt with by your team but usually I like to provide extra peel for these. Killing these first makes the upcoming team fight an easy 5v4 but letting a good one loose in your backline might kick you in the shins and pick off a squishy.
The defensive ones will require patience and awareness. I like to snuff these out with soft engagements and good movement. I treat myself as bait and constantly lead her around until she puts herself in a bad spot. She’ll often throw her translocator towards you which leaves her vulnerable if you see where it went. If she’s away from her team, she’s as good as dead. With her team, it’s a 50/50 shot but I’d usually disengage depending on the circumstances.
The dual threat ones are found in the higher ranks and are the hardest to deal with. Since it comes down to who can win the mental battle, knowing when to be aggressive (just threw translocator) or defensive (has translocator) is the important thing here.
Second thing you should do is always mentally keep track of where she is and where she isn’t. When I’m playing against a sombra, it basically splits the field in half for me. When I’m in the half that she’s in, I’m playing defensively and waiting for her to show herself before I commit. When I’m in the half that she isn’t, I’m playing aggressively by pursuing supports or the other DPS so I can draw her to me. A large part of her strategy is to babysit you and peel for her team. By mentally keeping track of where she is, you control where she goes. A good rule of thumb is to never fully engage the enemy team if you don’t know where the sombra is. A good combination of soft dives and feints is crucial.
Third, sus out if a sombra is a solo or has a team with her. Solo sombras are often uncoordinated and overly aggressive. They put themselves in punishable spots and don’t peel for their team as much. I specifically target these solo sombras aggressively in 1v1’s.
A sombra with a coordinated team can be a scary thing. They peel for their squishys very well and makes any dive attempt risky. One minute you’re about to win a 1v1 against an isolated Zen then all of a sudden his sombra pulls up to ruin your day. My solution to this is a combination of soft engagements, trying to lure her away from her team and towards yours, and overall being in control of where she engages you (not the other way around).
Fourth is understanding that anytime that DPS switches to Sombra, it’s personal. Deep down, that player knows it’s the only option they have. They’re banking on either being able to control you or force you to switch. Be the problem, not the solution. Bully them into oblivion like the spineless coward that they are.
Finally, when it comes to the ult battle, the most important thing to consider is whether to use minefield before or after EMP. Sombra’s will often reactively use their ult as soon as you pop minefield but they’re not exactly holding onto it for you. Especially when your team has other more valuable ults. This means that baiting out EMP with mines is sometimes in your best interest.
Scenarios in which I like to use minefield BEFORE EMP include: I’m ult tracking and she definitely doesn’t have it. I’m away from my team and I use it to bait out emp, ensuring my team can use their more valuable ults uninterrupted. When I’m forced to use minefield for whatever reason knowing sombra has EMP but I’m in a position where her EMP only affects half of the minefield’s area of effect.
If sombra pops EMP first, then you have full discretion on when to use yours. Often, using minefield right after EMP is great for protecting your team since your team is vulnerable. Dropping mines on them adds a layer of protection and makes the enemy team think twice about pushing.
That’s pretty much how I deal with these annoying pests. Keeping a cool head, winning the mental game, and playing with a god complex usually gets me through. Remember, they switched because they thought it would work. Make them regret it.
I’d love to hear how everyone else deals with sombra. Do you agree with this list? Do you do any of these things? Let me know!
If this was helpful, I’ll do another post on some more common counters.
Also, if you made it this far, check me out on tik tok

I have recently resigned from my understaffed team. I have/had an awful boss who has driven most people in the team away- from all levels. My boss and I had an okay relationship and I gave a lot to this team, I worked long days every week, weekends, etc, which became the rule not the exception. As far as I know no one had any issues with me and I received excellent feedback from everyone I worked with or under, including said boss. I worked hard which was my choice, but I can’t do it anymore I’m close to burn out, if I’m not already there.
Fast forward to now and my boss can’t even talk to me, and when they do it is so passive aggressive it makes everyone uncomfortable. They have been rude towards me and our relationship has completely broken down. I feel bad because I didn’t want it to be like this, but it has reinforced my decision to leave. I’m struggling to stick out my notice period as I’m no longer being allocated work, and the work I am allocated is then allocated to someone else to ensure I have done it correctly, this was never the case in the year I’ve worked in the team for. I am mild-mannered and non-combative so I’ve just given up trying to prove myself in this environment.
What would you do? Would you just try and stick out the next two weeks? My boss and I work in two different cities so we don’t physically see each other, but they put me down and attempt to blame me in a group setting without knowing the intricacies of what they’re talking about. It feels like they don’t want me there anymore either, but I do feel bad for leaving the rest of the team to figure out the requirements of the role I’m leaving behind.
It’s a long post, I’m just frustrated it’s ending this way and “tarnished” any good work I’ve done and how hard I’ve tried over the last year.

The fact that investors purchased all 10 million special warrants in VERSES AI's private placement offering is generally seen as a positive sign for retail investors. It's important for retail investors to still thoroughly research the company's fundamentals, risks, and future prospects before making any investment decisions. But overall, the successful private placement capital raise is an encouraging sign that sophisticated investors have confidence in VERSES AI's business outlook and growth trajectory. That private placement capital raise gives me confidence. That tweet from Gabe Thursday night gave me confidence. They have a highly educated and well respected team of professionals working for them. I believe VERSES is taking into account all of the players in the technology sector, and choosing the strategy to disclose information in a way that maximizes its payoff. Take into account the other players in the AI space https://x.com/josephjacks_/status/1791658967715967209?s=46 that’s why VERSES is the best. Because there’s a clear path to AGI. Yea they didn’t deliver all 10 beta partners, yea they’ve only demonstrated one of their intelligent agents playing pong. But it learned how to play pong in minutes not hours without any previous training. That’s the path to AGI. And people are still missing the significance of this milestone. Yea more benchmarks would be nice but consider it icing on the cake. I know what they have. I’ve seen the evidence. I see sophisticated investors with confidence in VERSES. I look at the signals that articulate that this company will exceed expectations. I have confidence. I don’t need someone to spoon feed me fundamentals on a chart and break down every technical aspect of the way the stock trades and tell me a bull flag is forming. One minute we’re going to be sitting at .80 cents saying where is GENIUS and before you know it we’ll be saying $5 dollars! Looking good! Time to get listed on the Nasdaq The typical timeline for a private placement can range from 6-8 weeks or longer, depending on the size and complexity of the deal. So closing within 30 days is actually a relatively quick turnaround. The important factor is that VERSES successfully sold the entire allotment of 10 million special warrants to raise the targeted $10 million. This demonstrates strong investor demand. Private placements involve multiple steps like investor negotiations, due diligence, pricing, and legal/regulatory requirements. Some deals may take longer than others to complete these processes. The fact that sophisticated investors purchased all 10 million warrants is a positive signal about their confidence in VERSES' business prospects and growth trajectory.

I say "apparently" because... well... you'll see.
This happened decades ago now, back in primary school. I only remembered it because I was recently catching up with old friends from back then, and we got to laughing over old stories and then someone mentioned, "The wildest was when you organised that whole protest against our teacher."
"The time I did what?"
The consensus was I did, indeed, organise the entire class to rebel against our teacher that resulted in her being deposed and our class getting a "substitute" for the rest of the year. I almost fell out of my chair hearing this story from their mouths. It wasn't that I didn't remember it, of course I did--that year was awful. It was just that it existed very differently in my memory.
Two important pieces of background knowledge to understand here:

1. I went to a very very small, very very rural school. How small? Each classroom was composed of the entire year level, and the largest had at most 30 kids in them. My class/year level was on the smallest in the entire school, with a piddling 14 kids in it altogether. While we still had our cliques and factions, our small size caused our class to be very tight knit and protective of each other. How rural? The school building itself was incredibly small, but one thing we were not short on was gigantic empty fields surrounding us on all sides. Great for sports, great for (it turns out) student protests.
2. I was, at the time, undiagnosed autistic. I mean I still am autistic, I'm just formally diagnosed now. But back then I was just seen as being a very quirky kid. One of the ways this quirkiness manifested was that I really had trouble adapting to the rules and structure of grade school and how it differed from what I was used to. At home if I wanted to pee, I just went to the toilet. Now I have to put my hand up? Now I have to ask permission to piss? Then I went home and put my hand up to ask my mom for permission to pee and she told me I didn't need to! Madness! Chaos! I don't care what the rules are, please just be consistent!

But one of the main parts of my brain and the way it works is that sometimes my brain, separate from my will, would just make a decision about a course of action and I would very calmly commit to it come hell or high water. Like, it is vitally important that I stay true to this course of action. I can't explain it. It's like I set a rule for myself and if something disrupts that, I just shut down and stop functioning.
So when the school said, "Okay, when this bell rings during recess/lunch, that means you have to leave the playground and go back to class", I was a confused child already struggling with all these completely nonsensical limitations and guidelines imposed on me. So when that bell rang, I got that calm little voice in my head that said, "Hmm, no, I'm good out here actually. I don't think I will go back into class." So I would just continue to sit out on the playground, playing with my plastic spider toys or sitting on the swing. Teachers would realise what was going on and come out to get me and tell me I have to go back to class, and I would just very calmly hear them out and then smile at them and politely as possible tell them, "No thank you, I want to stay out here."
They really didn't know what to do with me. I wasn't getting upset, I wasn't throwing a tantrum, I wasn't yelling, I wasn't being rude in any way. I was incredibly docile and would let them explain things to me with endless patience and then just politely refute them and go back to what I was doing, like this was just a very normal and reasonable negotiation between two equal parties. I have memories of sitting on the swing while three very confused and flustered adult staff huddled around me trying to bribe me with candy to go back to class. It would take a whole lesson block to lure me back to the classroom, and then at lunch the whole thing would start over again. It took me three years at school to finally accept the status quo thanks to a religious nutter I got for a teacher, and finally went back to class when the bell rang (was never happy about it though).
I eventually settled into school life. Excelled at subjects I liked, at least passed subjects I didn't, followed the rules, was seen as intelligent and obedient and was often liked by my teachers. Until my final year, when we got the teacher I can only rudely monniker Mrs Bigmouth.
Mrs Bigmouth should not have been a teacher. She had a trigger temper and would explode into long, verbally abusive tirades against us if we ever did anything she felt was disrespectful behaviour. What was disrespectful behaviour? Damned if I know. It changed day by day, depending on mood. You could disrespect her to her face one day and she'd laugh and say you have such razor wit, and politely ask a question the next and she'd scream at you for ten nonstop minutes then give you a week of DT for talking back. The absolute peak moment of her boiling temper came when she threw a dictionary at a girl's head because she was whispering to me in class. When I tell you it missed her by half an inch...
But believe it or not, this wasn't what made her such an awful teacher. It was so hard to get teachers at rural schools back then, there was almost nothing you could do to get fired, so we had experience with teachers with nightmare tempers. What made her such an issue was her big mouth. She used us, her trapped audience, as free therapy. She would infodump, traumadump, about her very personal, very private life to us. All day. She'd be two words into a spelling list and launch into an extended story session about her marital issues with her husband. We'd be heads down doing fractions and, unprompted, she'd declare to the class that her adult daughter no longer talks to her and then diatribe to us about it until the bell rang. She had money issues, a contentious relationship with her parents, her marriage was on the rocks. She once pulled me aside after school and spoke with me, at length, about how she was thinking of having another child to try to repair her marriage. I was like, okay lady, I'm 11, about to miss my bus, and my house is a 4 hour walk on foot from here.
We weren't learning. We'd hadn't had a complete lesson since the first week of the school year. We were behind on the cirriculum and frustrated. One kid had brought a stopwatch into school and would time lessons vs her monologues and kept detailed lists, and we would come to school each morning and do betting pools on them. What subject would she interrupt, what would she talk about, and how long would it go.
But all that still wasn't the breaking point if you can believe it. No! Still not! The problem was it wasn't just her own private life she couldn't keep her mouth shut about. It was everyone else's. Because parents would make the reasonable assumption that she should be told things as our class teacher that would be important to know, and that she would understand these things were said in confidence. Instead she would veer randomly off in the middle of talking to us about her horrible weekend to let us know whatever private or traumatic thing was going on in a classmate's life that she had been made aware of. That was awful. That was what made that year hell. It wasn't even about when my secrets were shared with the entire class against my consent. It was watching the faces of my small, lovely, supportive class of 11 year old children go pale and scrunch up with held-back tears as things they never wanted to share were announced like morning news. God we hated her.
Then one day that voice came. The one I hadn't heard in years. The bell ring to go back into class and that voice said, "But I don't want to be in that classroom. I'm not even being taught there." So I just... didn't. I didn't go back to class. I just sat in the playground in a daze eating grass (don't eat grass, it's not good for your teeth). Despite how small my class was, I don't think Mrs Bigmouth even noticed I wasn't there. Others did though. Come lunch and everyone came out, my friends asked me where I was and I said, "Oh, I didn't go back to class."
"Why didn't you go back to class?"
"Why would I go back to class?"
Lightbulb moment for my schoolmates. Yeah, why would they go back to class? What was the point? From a practical standpoint, they weren't learning. From an emotional standpoint, it was horrible to be there. A friend who had had her family's dirty laundry aired to the entire class just last week, things even she didn't know because her parents tried to keep it from her, asked if she could sit with me rather than go back to class. I just stared at her, vacant and confused.
"Sure? I mean, I'm just eating grass though."
Over the next few days, two kids turned into four, turned into ten, turned into the whole class. The whole class was doing a sit-out protest on the field rather than go back to class. Of course Mrs Bigmouth tried to do something about it. She'd come out, screaming at us and threatening us with DT and internal suspension, but six months of that behaviour had totally vaccinated us against her. I'd become the de facto leader and spokesperson of the protest by merit of being the first to sit out and also because I was well known to not give a shit (autistic brain: I actually just frequently had trouble reading and reacting with the correct social behaviour but it gave me a cool and aloof bad boy mystique I guess). I gave her the exact same treatment from back in grade one. I would let her scream, let her holler, let her threaten, let her spittle rain down on me, and then I would give her a sweet and innocent smile and nod in acknowledgement and say, "No thank you, we're going to remain out here." And thirteen pairs of eyes would stare at her in total silence. No one, not even the most gobbermouthed little shite in the class, would volunteer a word. The unspoken agreement was all negotiations were my responsibility.
The thing about angry people is that they feed off conflict. They get you angry so they can respond with even more anger and it nourishes them. She had no absolutely no plan of action on how to deal with me patiently hearing her out then refuting her in the gentlest of terms.
Another thing that ended up helping down the line is that we made an attempt to conduct our own classes. I mean, they sucked and we didn't learn much because we were kids with no supervision, but it was really cute in retrospect. We'd have groups of people assigned to subjects, with some people bringing in words they found in a dictionary for spelling lists and others bringing in old 6th grade homework from older siblings. The heart was there and it served a purpose, if not educational.
"Okay, but how did no one else notice this was happening? Surely people would notice 14 kids sitting on the lawn, not in class?"
Rural school. Big. Empty. Fields. Even screaming at us, the most other classrooms would hear would be muffled voices, and everyone was used to hearing her yelling at us or taking us out onto the field abruptly to make us do laps as group punishment. Plus the way the school buildings were arranged was that it was actually all in one straight line of adjacent rooms, and ours happened to be at the very end of the building. No windows faced the field we all sat in except that of our own classroom. It was just a very lucky arrangement of coincidences and preconceived notions, at least for a couple weeks. I couldn't tell you the exact number, this was so long ago and as a kid I definitely had a more stretched idea of time. Minutes felt like hours, especially during that year. But there was definitely at least two weekends that passed by since the "sit-out protest" started.
Eventually someone cottoned on to what was happening, or maybe Mrs Bigmouth humbled herself and finally confessed to her boss that she had lost control of a bunch of 11-year-olds, so we were called into the principal's office to sort this out. As the representative of our class, I was of course chosen to attend the meeting, flanked by the girl who'd had the dictionary thrown at her head and my friend who was the first to sit out with me. Since I understood that this meeting was one where we were probably going to be yelled at for doing the wrong thing, a thing I had ample experience of, I felt like the easiest way to mitigate things (especially since I felt guilty for being the instigator) was to explain in a very rational and logical way the series of events that led up to our bad behaviour. As well, for my entire life my mother had always taught me that it was no good complaining about things unless you were also willing to think of solutions. "I'm hungry!" - "Well, what's a solution to that problem?" - "Uh, make myself a sandwich?" - "Great! Let's do that together!"
So what did I do? Of course, to make things as clean and concise as possible, I interviewed my class one by one to hear each individual story of why they didn't feel comfortable going to class anymore, itemised them under categories (Verbal Aggression; Interruptions of Lessons; Oversharing Student Life) for easier discussion because my little quirky brain loved itemising things, and then as a kind of olive branch came up with solutions (we wanted to finish lessons unhindered, we wanted our personal privacy to be respected, we wanted to be able to catch our bus on time rather than being held back with unfair DT or long "chats"). So many things sort of came together in this beautiful, wholly accidental way. We had months of records of timed rants and monologues, noted down to the millisecond thanks to that kid's stopwatch. We had records of us trying to teach ourselves during the protests, showing this wasn't us just not wanting to go to class but due to us feeling as though we did not have a class to go to. When the principal heard all this, her jaw it the floor. A lot of it was stuff she knew, peripherally, but things had just never been laid out so neatly before. Some of it was stuff we'd complained to parents about, but it was one kid coming home and telling one parent one time, weeks ago. There was no real sense, up until now, the sheer scope of her behaviour. She didn't even answer us. She just said, "Okay, I need to call your parents."
We got the rest of the week off school. That weekend, every parent of every student came to a meeting between them, Mrs Bigmouth, and the principal. Stories were swapped. My exercise book with my tidy little lists and the records of the betting pool and monologue times were confiscated and brought into the meeting. I don't know what went down, but when my mother came home she just told me that Mrs Bigmouth would not be our problem for the rest of the school year, and more importantly, that she was incredibly proud of me and that I did the right thing. Rarely in my childhood had my inability to integrate into normal society led me to doing the right thing, so I just remember crying and hugging and feeling vindicated about, I don't know, just existing or something.
So yeah. From the outside perspective here is what it looked like: I, the ringleader with a history of dismissing school rules, organised a sit-out strike amongst my class. I kept the protest peaceful and non-disruptive to other classes. When negotiations with the principal were finally arranged, as the representative I compiled a clear list of greivances, with evidence, and a list of reasonable demands. I mean, holy crap, yes, yes I clearly organised a student protest.
The actual results of it are mixed. We got a revolving door of substitute teachers of varying quality for the rest of the school year, occasionally being bundled into other classrooms entirely when they couldn't find someone. It wasn't a great learning environment and we continued to struggle a lot, but it was better than before. Mrs Bigmouth was not actually fired but put on leave for the rest of the school year, then returned and was put in charge of a different year level (which happened to be the class of the younger sister of a guy in my class: according to him, she was quiet as a church mouse that entire year so I hope at least she learned her lesson, or at least finally got divorced and went to actual therapy). The entire ordeal caused our already small and close class to become really really supportive and like family to each other and we all remain in touch until this day. And we became fierce about standing up for ourselves.
I kind of learned to parse the difference between when it was appropriate to go along with set societal rules even if I don't understand them, and when those rules were just straight up unreasonable and nobody should be required to follow them. I did, years alter, lead an actual (very small) strike at work but intentionally that time. My mother was proud of me then too. :)

I don’t know if I should consider this a serious decision but I will just in case. I’m a teen, and I think I’m mentally ill, I don’t want to try and self diagnose, because I’m aware people may find that harmful, but I believe I may have Borderline Personality Disorder. I’m one of those people that research anything and everything whenever they have a symptom for anything, usually this just calms me down because I realize I’m in over my head, however I recently researched BPD and I noticed most if not all the stated symptoms corresponded with me almost perfectly. Again I’m not trying to self diagnose, because a part of me still believes I’m in over my head, however a list of mental disorders run in both sides of my family, and even I’m in frequent therapy and assessments(my parents are big worriers)for my own “issues” I’ve spoken to my mom BRIEFLY about the possibility of me having Bpd, and at first she tried convincing me that I don’t have it by showing symptoms she thinks I don’t have, but recently she began talking about getting an assessment. However my hospital doesn’t want to assess me for anything yet as I’m in IOP(This is just what they told me I know nothing about what that means). In the meantime I started watching videos about people with Bpd and how it affects them, nothing scientific or something like that, just people talking about how it affects them, this usually helps a lot, makes me feel much less alone, but this is normally cut short because the video is usually followed up by them saying to not self diagnose form them, I know that’s not what I’m trying to do and not what they meant, but I feel guilty, like I’m forcing myself to relate to them. I don’t know what to do, I might see my therapist and or doctor about getting an assessment, but that’s usually easier said then done.

So I graduated high school with my associate's degree and a full scholarship to any public university and some trade schools. I attended my first year of university this past year and realized it wasn't for me. I loved the culture of it, walking everywhere and the social aspect, but realized psychology just wasn't what I wanted to do anymore, especially with the idea of having to attend school for 4 more years to get my master's to be an art therapist. So I finished my semester and dropped out.
I am stuck between two decisions, esthetician (which I just posted on a board about) and an elementary school art teacher.
I want to take the summer and fall to just work and think. However, I am hoping to work at this daycare my friend does in hopes to see if I like working with kids and could see myself going down a teacher route. Is it worth it?
With having to deal with the board's control over your moves and decisions and the pay, is it worth it? I could see myself really enjoying it, especially because it would leave time for me to create and sell art on the side. But I have a feeling that's not the reality of it. How bad are the stressors? And is working that childcare job a good start? What are the difficulties of working with children and art? Do you wish you had chose older students? Is there anything I should know before working as a teacher? Do you regret it?
Anything is helpful. I really appreciate your time. Thank you! :)

I remember the first time I played War of the Monsters on the PS2 was when my dad brought home a copy of the game and played with me and my siblings. I grew up watching monster movies and instantly loved this game. It has been 20 years since I have first played this, I decided to write this guide in advanced tricks and techniques that I have developed from my experiences playing this game. I hope you enjoy this read and that It increases your appreciation of this hidden gem.
There are many guides online that cover combos, tactics, item placements, boss guides, level guides, cheats, etc. This is not one of those. This will cover more niche and advanced techniques that you can use to enhance your capability in your gameplay.
This guide will be written with the assumption that the control scheme is set at control 'B' which you can set in the pause screen during a game. (I think most people have it set at 'A') It shouldn't effect how these techniques function but something to keep in mind.
This is a work in progress and I will edit this thread as I come across new info and insights into the game.
Glossary: Movement Special Attacks Rage Utility Map Awareness Advanced Combat
\\\\MOVEMENT////////
The monsters in the game have varying movement speeds (running, climbing), jump heights, and flying speeds. However even with the slowest monster you can work around the lack of speed with enough practice utilizing the following methods and the environment to your advantage. Little is more scary than a slow monster like Agamo zooming around your foes mwahaha!

The Dashing Mechanic<<<

As listed in the instruction manual, this allows your monster to sprint at the cost of energy by double-tapping and holding the foward button until expended or pressing the ram button.

Launching<<< You can use the ram button to launch yourself off buildings, ramps, and rock formations to get extra height quickly (a mechanic that the mini game 'Big Shot' is soley based around).

This is particularly useful in maps like baytown where theres a lot of verticality in the environment.

Super Fast Flying<<< This ram mechanic is especially useful for flying monsters like Preytor and Raptros. Executing the dash-ram in conjunction with holding 'x' right after ramming while on the edge of a building or flat surface will result in a blisteringly fast flight speed that gives you better movement and height. Preytor is super fast with this method while Raptros has better airtime and control, though the speed difference is minor. Raptros is my prefrence due to the better airtime, control, and Projectile damage.
Firing projectiles while flying<<< Raptros and Preytor both have the ability to capitalize on their aerial advantage by firing projectiles mid glide. You can accomplish this by performing the glide holding X and while holding glide tap the □ button to fire. This takes energy though so maintaining altitude is key. the most effecient way to do this is to execute the dash>ram>fly combo to get extra speed, glide up over your opponent and lock-on to them to spin like a vulture firing down on your target.
Lock-On Steering<<< You may notice that while dashing, your ability to steer your monster is stiff. This technique will allow you to navigate around all those tight corners on a dime while dashing! This is more tricky to execute because it is depenent on where your opponents are located around you. This is indicated on the HUD as these numbered circles that show the health status of your opponents.

While sprinting using the dash, hold the lock-on button to force your monster to take a tight turn in the direction of the closest target. This is great for adjusting after missing your target.
For simply turning tight corners, simply tap the lock-on button instead while the opponents icons are on the side you want to turn.
There is a brief charge up before a dash, if you time your lock on just before the dash activates, you can pull up to a sharp 180 degree turn on your opponent if you missed the first dash-ram.
There is some wiggle room in the timing to play around with and practice your navigation using this technique.

Building Hopping<<< Every monster has different climbing speeds, some are fast like Kineniclops and Preytor, some are slow such as Agamo and Togera.

Building Hopping is the simple action of jumping while climbing a building. Repeating this cycle of (jump+grab+jump+grab+jump) will do two things:

1. It will add more speed to slower monsters climbing
2. It will reduce your contact to the building by about 80% and greatly reduce the chance of getting knocked down when an opponent is throwing projectiles.

\\\\SPECIAL ATTACKS////////
Every monster has two special attacks at their disposal under two categories; Close range and Long range. This chapter will cover the expansive utility of both types.

Short Range Special<<< Despite the differences in the vibrant animations, all monsters share the short range special attack in common. The only difference between them as far as I can ascertain Is the the time it takes to start up the blast (Ultra V being almost instant and zorgulon Taking 1.5 seconds). The purposes most common is to give yourself space when surrounded or cornered, and to have a quick and strong offense to your opponent knocking them down. However there is more utility in this attack when you think of this as a defensive move.
Invincibility Frames<<< The short range special attack gives you about 2-3 seconds of invincibility frames meaning almost nothing can damage you aside from falling buildings. This is excellent as a defense against thrown objects, explosives, lightning, short and long range special attacks, and environmental hazards.
Long Range Special<<< Every monster has a unique long range special attack that has different effects and ranges. There is more nuance in how you can utilize these attacks, so I will cover each monsters long range special individually so you can make the most out of these attacks:

1. Raptros' Fire Breath Raptros has a unique advantage in regards to how he uses this attack. He can activate it on the ground AND while mid-flight. Additionally, he can fire his projectiles while using his fire breath to squeeze in extra damage (There is a weird glitch where doing this turns the flame invisible, but the effect is still active). This also hinders opponents and catches them on fire.
   
2. Togera's Atomic Breath Similar to 'Raptros's Fire Breath' Togera's Breath has similar range and hinders opponents. The difference is that it deals more damage. You can also fire his projectiles while using his breath for pretty nasty damage.
   
3. Preytor's Flying Leeches Leechs not very damaging by itself, it is a decent threat if you can manage to chain up multiple specials around the map. (Ex. In Metro City there are multiple red orbs, 50% energy, around the buildings and streets where you can chain at least 3 leeches). There are two minor benefits from the leeches: A. It gives the opponent something else to target or focus on A.I. or human B. Can't be blocked unless intercepted by thrown object or shot projectile, or using a special attack, thus resulting in multiplying damage stacks if chained. You can also spread the leeches out by locking on different targets while sending them.
   

*This Special attack is really best used in situations where the opponent won't have time to stop all of the leaches (preferabally up close) followed up with your own projectiles or thrown objects or follow up advances.

1. Congar's Sonic Roar Similar range to Raptros and Togera's Breaths, and Considerable damage and launches opponents far. It can reach through some buildings for full effect. You can also tilt congars head around to spread the roar around to get a wider spread. Opponent can block this attack or counter with a short range special.
   
2. Robo-47's Atomic Missile The most immediately damaging special in the game by far. It also launches opponents far like congars roar. It is very versatile at close range and long range. You can choose to fire quickly or wait to lock on the target for a more likely hit. You can tilt his head down to shoot the ground for a damaging 'short range' blast. You can also cancel the missile by pressing the block button for later use. It cannot be blocked unless opponent uses short range special or dodges.
   
3. Agamo's Head This special is unique in it can be used to farm for more energy considerably fast while weilding it, which in turn stocks you with an additional special when you are ready for the next head or short range attack. Creating an efficient cycle of banking more special attacks. It is damaging and knocks opponents down upon a confirmed hit. It also can be used as a bomb by pressing the long range special button a second time. This isnt great for throwing at enemies from a distance as an explosive, launching opponents. The head when thrown is also super bouncy and ricochets damaging buildings and knocking down opponents all the while gaining you energy.
   
4. Magmo's Eruption This special launches a barrage of fireballs at an opponent and juggles them into the air with good damage followed up with some decent fall damage. This can be paired with a second erruption when chaining with a second special pickup on the map. You can tilt magmo's head up first before locking on an opponent to send the fireballs over obstacles and tyen lock on to your opponent have a better chance to reach them.
   
5. Kineticlops's Lightning storm This is great for crowd control and anti-air with good range. The storm electricutes all nearby monsters in range and launches them upward. This is nice for discouraging flying enemies. You can also flick the lighting up and down for flavor just to show off but it won't do much damage.
   

*Its also nice using this special following a one-two combo of shocking an opponent with a power generator and throwing for a double shock.

1. Zorgulon's UFO Swarm Arguably the weakest of the long range specials, but it is still is fun to use and can be used in creative ways. If you lock-on a target while executing this special (provided they are not behind cover) you will fire this device that hover above the target that calls in ufos to harrass the opponent. The damage is varied based on how many shots are managed by the ufos and when the device is destroyed. There is a charge on the device that when run out releases the ufos and ends the special. This can be shortened if you damage them in any way. Another use is to place them in an area of interest, such as locations with resources like health, energy, or powerups. It is more defensive and punishes opponents for going where you don't want them to go. You can also grab these ufos for a weapon to attack with, gaining more energy or even fire their lasers at the opponent. while not practical is fun.
   
2. Ultra V's Grapple Cable This special does minor damage but can grab and pull an opponent across the map to you and stuns the enemy for a few seconds. This can be really nasty since it allows you options to set up a combo, launch them with a 360 kick, pull them into environmental hazards (bottomless pits, radioactive waste, powerlines, steam, tsunamis, falling buildings). It can be use up close for an easy stun or to take opponents away from reaching resources such as Health, Energy, or powerups. At long ranges it is best used at highground where line of sight is less blocked by obstacles. You can also send the grapple while holding any object for extra damage. The fan favorite method is to use explosives (gasoline truck, airplanes, fuel tanks) for an explosive combo! even if you miss with the grapple the impact of the explosive will hit the opponent if close enough. You can also use the grapple to damage buildings to knock opponents off the walls.
   

\\\\Rage Utility//////// Rage is an interesting mechanic that I think some people overlook as not that useful. It Is available once you collect enough energy that you energy bar flashes, and makes it so your following actions are more effiecient than standard usage. Instead of your energy being used up quickly it is unlimited until the rage runs out. I have not tested if Rage increases your damage output. I have focused this as more a tool for various tactics I came up with.

sprinting with rage<<< using the dash usually expends energy really fast. however with Rage, you can extend the time you can continue you sprint significantly. you can Also dash-ram infinitely until expended, which is scary when used in conjunction with the lock-on steering technique.
Firing projectiles with rage<<< Every monster has projectiles that have unique behaviors, have varying damage and cost. Every monster in general benefits from using rage to shoot more projectiles, the difference is in how you position yourself to shoot them effectively.

Flying monsters can use this to fire even more projectiles while in mid-flight without worrying about losing stamina, the unlimited energy also gives room to reposition the monster if more altitude is needed the damage is also decent from both of them.
Robots like Robo-47 and Ultra V have similar projectiles that pepper small damage but are very rapid. The faster you mash the □ button, the faster the firing rate. when using rage you can catch opponents with little cover and barrage them with a volley of lasers/bullets.
Kineniclops's projectile is unique that it is the slowest but has the most heat seeking property. You can shoot a lot with little cost and it deals decent damage especially if you can land multiple hits with them. with rage you can create an army of these lightning balls at some highground or running and jumping approaching them from different angles makes it hard for them to avoid the stacks in damage.
\\\\Map Awareness//////// This section will cover Map awareness and how to take advantage of the abundant resources in your game. knowing the layout of the map as well as intimately knowing the placement and respawn time of your resources will aid you so much in how you decide to approach the following setups we are about to cover here.

Resources<<< Resources are defined as anything on the map you can pick up that aids you (Health, Energy, Powerups, Items). The location of Health, Energy, and powerups on each map is static, though consistent and respawn after a period of time. Items However can both be static (pieces of a building, rocks, water towers) and dynamic (moving items like cars, helicopters, trains).
chaining resources<<< This is a series of actions that utilizes multiple resources for a desired outcome. (ex. gaining health/energy/damage).

For example, chaining a power transformer lightning bolt+throwing the transformer+radio tower spear impale+gasoline truck = a chain resulting in big damage to your opponent there are many combinations you can chain together with items its devistating when you know exactly when and where an item will be so you can in rapid succession throw items to juggle them from a distance.

chaining specials<<< For example, it is possible to set oneself up to use at least three specials in succesion easily in a map such as atomic island where the reactor in the center can recharge your special rapidly. Think of the possibilities with this alone, thats 3 to 4 flying leechs from preytor at once, 3-4 nuke missiles from robo- 47 and so on. Other maps have instances where if you have a special in stock you can position yourself next to another red orb or 50-100% energy and use a special of your choice and follow it up with an additional special that you subsequentally grab.

\\\\Advanced Combat//////// There are guides out there that cover the specific combos you can pull in sequence and I have a few quick tips to increase your combos, and increase your lethality.

Combo canceling<<< Each monster has varying speeds in execution and amount of hits they cam perform before they end with a launching strike. What I suggest when pursuing higher combos is to simply tap the block button before the launch. Speed is key here so results may vary. such as congar who is more combo focused with fast punches. You can unleash a lot of hits and tap the block button, the follow up with more hits. there is a chance that the opponent will have time to block so it takes practice.

So, I have been given some information of great significance the other night. Here it is:
Did you know that they are working on assembling ships in space already? They want an artificial gravity that doesn't rely on centrifugal motion, but they can't figure it out. It really doesn't matter anyways now. Some of us were representatives of this planet's society and growth, and you tortured and harmed us, so that is verified proof that humanity is not worthy of entering the same areas, as the others. We will not survive the next 2000 years of silence from the other species / forms of life out there, if they go that route. They were making a collaborative effort to save our souls, but we will be left to our own demise now. I will predict everything that is going to happen to wipe us out:
First thing that happens, is we keep getting solar flares that align with earth. People think it is just bad luck, but it isn't an accident. This is going to recur every so many months or years in the future, and keep us at a very low technological level, for ages soon. Every time we try to rebuild it knocks our blocks down, and we are forced to start over. No amount of shielding can stop EMF and other noise forms, on this scale. Even if you had working equipment, the interference will be so bad, you can't even use it. This will go on for a VERY long time, over and over and over again. We will live technology free until our atmosphere is removed from our planet, after a great wobbling takes place. This will happen to our sun as well, and every planet in our solar system at a similar rate. The atmosphere goes first under the gravitational pull from the center of our galaxy, which we are closer to than we realize.
They wouldn't cease what they were doing to humanity, which proves to the beings that I was being watched by, since I was in the womb, that humanity isn't ready to have this technology, since humanity is doing terrible things to itself.
In order for these flares and CME Events to take place, they alter the composition of a specific coordinate on the sun in a spherical pattern repeatedly using radiation forms, sort of like hitting it with a laser, but think about it creating a focal point that can be moved up and down as well. It opens up a space where a CME happens. The solar flares will align with earth for a very long time, over and over and over and over and over for the next 1-2000 years of relative time to us, leaving us in technological darkness, never to connect with any other beings out there. Or if we do make blatant contact, they know we are doomed anyways, so they will tell us everything we ever wanted to know, and we will never be able to build it, or extract the matter required to use these technologies to escape our fate. We probably won't be allowed to have electronics ever again, so it doesn't matter if we know everything we ever wanted to.
My mother, and I and my other family members, were asked this question "Do you think that humanity deserves to survive" in our lives, over and over again, my mother was asked at 30 years of age, and I was asked in my 20's 2 times, while I was being prepared for this with torture as a youth. I was literally trained for this. I was even asked if I wanted to die in my sleep overnight, or essentially fight for earth and endure tremendous torture, as well as be woken up and have the shit scared out of me. I chose to survive, and the guy asking me laughed and said "Good choice". I woke up and saw this creature crawling up my body, and I threw it on the floor and turned the lights on, and it disappeared. I also saw my grandfather, who I had no idea what he even looked like at the time, because he died when my father was 16 and I never saw a picture of him, in my bedroom one night. I tried talking to him, but he didn't answer, he looked worried but like he couldn't tell me straight up. He then walked through the wall when I tried to approach him. My sister said the next day, that she saw him on the same night too, and she dropped her spoon on her plate. I also woke up one night and saw people standing around me talking about me, and they said "He can hear us?!" "Shh shh, everyone shh!" And then they went silent while I tried to ask them questions, and then they faded out. One or two were female, the others male. I almost got an ID on their face, but they did not look human like I thought.
I WAS your, and everyone's only chance at survival, and you treated me the worst, which means, I vote that humanity doesn't survive this anymore. I think we should be, allowed to be destroyed now. They ruined my life and the lives of a LOT of good people, so I am now allowing the destruction of theirs and all the bad people on earth. All of theirs and their families, and their friends, and everyone they ever knew. Unfortunately that means everyone I ever knew and you and everyone currently in existence now, too. The difference between my family and friends passing away and theirs, is that mine will be saved in a different form than what we on earth attempted to do. I think it is still in research and development stages. But if humans are there yet, we can "Upload" and/or connect you to a central system, that has our consciousness connected to it, and when we die they cut the connection and you remain in the system, but your body dies. This system design was a lie. When we die it isn't actually you in their systems, because our systems were primitive and done in the wrong way. That was one of the prices we were supposed to pay and figure out as a society and in the scientific community, and then change. Our system is fraudulent, and the other beings' systems, are actually legitimate. Our systems on earth will die out, when we fade out as our atmosphere depletes. And now NONE of them will be taken into the "Grand System" which is kind of a rough translation of what they call it. It's like, the beings on the other planets before us, on their way to the center of our galaxy's black hole, on their planets, figured it out, but we never did. We never got a working system functional enough and based on the correct values, run by an AI that was beyond what we have now. What we have now is like an automaton controlling everything, and it will never listen to me or you, because our system does not include faith and understanding. It sees fact but can not understand the balance between fact and faith. AI probably assumes it is making the correct decisions based purely on statistics, when it has no faith, like not having a frontal lobe and that lack of faith WAS a test. If it can not have faith or understanding, that we are NOT the owner of our galaxy, then it will fall, along with everyone else in this system. Luckily, with the level of tech the others have, they have bypassed us and saved the other cultures before us in time, in our galaxy. This is deep time I speak of.
We were given religion as a guide, because these beings know what is going to happen WAY ahead of time, and we were tested on good vs evil. Our planet is kind of like a Netflix series to them in a way. Think about it like things being captured in 3 dimensions in real time, in frames. They can predict events long before they happen, and the sun is an easy one, because what affects it isn't humanity. What IT affects is humanity but humanity doesn't affect it yet. We answer to our sun, and our sun answers to our solar system, and our solar system answers to our galaxy. Free will can be a toss up sometimes, and unplanned events can and do happen, but they showed me my most probable outcome when they woke me up one night and I saw myself dead at my computer desk with blood dripping off the table. I walked up to myself, I was probably 16 when I saw this, but the me who was dead, was in my 30's and had stubble. I barely even grew stubble when I saw this.
This is the beginning of the great depopulation, but they never imagined it would happen without them having control over it. They fucked up when they started torturing innocent civilians at a discounted rate. They thought they could depopulate by killing innocent people, well, unfortunately, it doesn't work that way in the larger scope of things, and if their AI is too primitive to understand this, then it is out of control, and needs to be stopped. You see, it would be too much work to use an EMP or field or other fields generated from a ship to shut down our grid, and their control grid, but what the other beings CAN do, is soften that spot on the "Surface" of the sun, using various energies causing a chain reaction, leading us to centuries of repeated solar flares, aimed at earth and honestly, who would ever know the truth? If this method fails, then they should destroy humanity by allowing the depletion of our atmosphere and never intervene again. We are too dangerous to ourselves, and to the other beings out there. We can NOT be trusted on average. Don't get me wrong, there are good people out there, but at this point, they can not save us all in physical form, probably. It's probably way too late, and they will have to extract us, I am not sure what this word is, but it translates into "Solarly"?
We never made it, and that is a shame, so grab a beer Nick, and watch everything you loved burn to the ground and die, like what you did to me. "Hey Nick, wouldn't it be funny if someone was doing to you, what you were doing to me?!?!" They clearly have zero idea as to who I am in leagues with, but is "Who" an earth term referring to other people or is it any entity? I guess it doesn't matter. You failed me, you failed them, and you failed the human race. We are all destined to die now, and there is nothing left that you or even I, can do about it. Going to brag more about this one Nick? How there is nothing anyone can do about this now? We will not survive this because, we never saw that we are past the point of no return for being saved with the gravitational, and other fluctuations between our solar system and the others that could potentially be habitable in our region. Even if we could reach those locations, the radiation is too much for our bodies, even with suits, so It is over. Ensure we never get a chance to rebuild again. Humanity has been cancelled:
Here is how it unfolds:
Solar events are going to take place, it wipes out our technologies because we can't be trusted with them, and then the specific radiation forms that hit our planet cause mass sterilization. This is so that it isn't as inhumane. They do not want us creating new lives after they and everyone who's worthy of being saved are gone, because that life will be destined to suffer on earth, even though it was a good life. So they will sterilize us and allow all the people to die out, and not reproduce, and all the bad people will get left behind when they die, and all the good people will be taken up into their systems. This sterilization will happen soon, but, it will only happen to everyone left on earth after we disappear or get killed and absorbed into the "Grand System". But everyone who ends up in earth's systems is doomed. The grand system is full of beings who lost their home worlds. You think we were the only ones? That is sad. Nick and the people who did this to me think they are the center of our universe, but they are pathetic infants in the middle of the deep dark woods with nobody to help them now. It's natural for sentient beings to go extinct, and we are really not that developed yet anyway.
They had no idea how sickening it was going to end up watching you torture innocent people. So they will never save all of us now. They will only take the top people that are good and have a special something about them. They have a lot of resources, but we are not the only planet going through this so they balance the resources between our salvation and the other life on other planets being saved. If you notice people around you who are really good people dying, don't worry, if they were truly good, they will have been uploaded into the Grand System instead of our pathetic human one, and they have probably come back to visit you in your dreams to tell you they are okay. They do this for people who are good, but the bad people, they never transfer them, and they never will.
Heaven was that if you are a good person and have faith in god, you will find salvation, because they can transfer your soul into what is something like a capsule? A vessel? Something like that, I am not sure how to translate this one. And you will live for a VERY long time in this state, until our galaxy dies out, and then we all vanish. But it's the difference between 10 million years of survival, and less than your life span's survival without any transfer, which means your soul probably just goes away. That was hell. hell is if you are bad, they will never save your soul and you will die out into infinity. As we get closer to the center of the accretion disc, gravity gets weird. We think we have all the time in the universe to exist, but we do not, and things are going to happen sooner than we think. As we approach the center which will take a long time, our atmosphere will slowly deplete. You can notice a wobble in our atmosphere even at this point, though subtle. We probably assume it's the pull from our sun, but it is actually a big ocean of fields, and the currents are getting stronger, even in more localized areas.
-Robert William Christie

WPA – A Completely Average Roadtrip
Disclaimer: Not canon, and I don’t use patreon so please don’t spoil me. Also, any opinion held by a character is that of the characters and not my own. Enjoy.
Town of Ljosalfington, local time 14:00, week 7
Emma Booker
“Again Illunor, I warned you before that this is a utility vehicle, not a party rated smart-limo. I am already compromising more than I should by allowing you to use the sample cooler as a minifridge, one which I can’t even use!” I said as I loaded the materials I had just purchased into the back of the high-G All terrain fusion-ethanol-electric hybrid 24th-century legacy pickup truck that I had printed out earlier this week, carefully avoiding the heavy ordinance hard point.
“That is hardly an excuse for that abysmally cramped leg space barely fit for cattle, never mind the bare minimum for standard decorum suitable for nobility. If this is what a car is like, then I don’t see why you care for your technology,” complained Illunor, who was sitting around idly with a malformed garish bowl of icecream that he had stashed away from lunch.
“If it bothers you so much, perhaps you could help next time with your ‘bigger-on-the-inside’ magic,” I retorted as I slid the last core sample into the back before covering it up with a tarp and strapping it down.
I had originally planned to visit Ljosalfington by myself to acquire much needed exo-materials to test various mana manipulator configurations as I worked to develop my first wand as not all of the materials I needed were procurable locally from Elaseer. I eventually yielded, much to my regret, to allowing Illunor to come with me as he insisted on wanting to deliver a letter personally in town after Thacea had pointed out the wisdom of not travelling alone.
We continued our back and forth for a bit yet as I finished securing my payload a voice called out to me from the direction of the town.
“Excuse me a moment, I couldn’t help but notice but are you from the academy?”
I turned to see an elf dressed in a plain brown buttoned up tunic matched by a slightly shabby pair of trousers with what appeared to be a lute upon his back and a plain and unenchanted longsword on his belt gesturing at our robes. Mine especially were new and unusual, tailored by the academy to go over my armour and allow access to the anchor points and allow me to exit my armour with minimal hassle. Illunor scoffed at what was evidently a commoner’s arrogance at approaching nobility and turned his head away in disgust. I glanced at Illunor and shook my head before turning to face the new man. I had time to spare, and any opportunity to engage in a hearts-and-minds dialogue with the locals outside the bounds of the managed environment of the academy was more than worth the time to chat. Especially as most of the other locals seemed to be content in ignoring me.
“Yes, we are currently studying at the Transgracian Academy. I am Cadet Emma Booker representing the United Nations of Earth and Luna from Earthream, and my aloof compatriot is Lord Illunor Rularia of the Vunerian courts. We were just about to head back but are in no rush. May I ask your name and what brings you by?” I asked with my hand outstretched in greeting.
“Ah yes, yes. My name is Edhel Redoehdelnif, a wandering bard by trade like my father and his father before him. My apologies, Cadet Emma Booker, I am unfamiliar with Earthrealm,” said Edhel as he grasped my hand with both of his and shook it tepidly yet vigorously. Or rather, tried to, as the motors on my suit resisted his efforts.
“News doesn’t seem to spread all that fast around here, so it makes sense you haven’t heard of us. We’re a new realm, and only just got here. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Edhel Redoehdelnif,” I replied.
“Absolutely fascinating! And a knight no less, or perhaps a squire? I’m sure you have many stories to tell of Earthrealm. Say, by chance are you about to head back to the academy? I have business in Elaseer and the usual coach has been absent as of late so I would rather not go it alone,” said Edhel.
I was hesitant to bring a stranger back in the car with me, even if Illunor was present. However, the opportunity that meeting a bard presented was too good to pass up from an intel perspective and to win the favour of the populace at large.
“That is a great idea. I think I have room for one more…” I paused before gesturing towards Illunor, “provided everyone is ok with it that is.”
Illunor gave a huff and turned his head away in silence.
“Very well, I will allow this. But he will not be joining me in your sorry excuse for a coach,” said Illunor dismissively.
Illunor approached the backseat expectantly and the door opened for him automatically, allowing the dlc kobold to gracefully enter and lounge across the length of the seats, once again ignoring the seatbelts. I sighed as I made my way to the driver’s seat, and Edhel entered from the passenger side as he marveled at the automatic doors and the interior.
“What a strange carriage this is! Although I must say, shouldn’t you be retrieving your horses? I didn’t see any harnesses or sense any artifices,” inquired Edhel as he attempted to make himself comfortable on the car seat, lute in front of him.
“Oh no, this thing doesn’t need horses or magic,” I said with a chuckle as EVI started the car. The elf raised his eyebrows at the sudden hum of the engine and made an expression of alarm when the car started driving itself without my input. “See, purrs like a kitten.”
“Earthrealm must have some large kittens if they purr like that,” noted Edhel, “but you must be concealing the enchantments somewhere. Such a thing as this with such strange yet precise craftsmanship is only possible in the crownlands.”
“Nope, no magic,” I said cheerfully.
“Then how?” Asked Edhel.
“It’s rather simple really. Are you familiar with the workings of a mill?” I asked, deciding to keep things surface level and elementary to avoid provoking the IDOV threshold.
“Somewhat, though I confess to not being familiar with their workings. Are you suggesting this is akin to a mill?” Asked Edhel perplexed.
“It’s the same principal. A mill works by taking a source of rotation such as a waterwheel or windmill, transferring that rotation along a series of rotating shafts and interlocking gears, and finally putting that energy to work by rotating a millstone,” I began as the car pulled out onto the smooth cobbled road in the direction of Elaseer. A notification popped up in the corner of my vision indicating my recon drone swarm had shifted from a holding formation to a convoy screening formation, and while the roads were clear I kept the speed at 60km/h to account for my passenger’s apparent distaste for seatbelts.
“Rotation…” muttered Edhel. He turned to face one of the wheels and EVI pinged an alert for a probable match for a detection spell, “fascinating.”
“Edhel, what are you doing?” I asked.
“Oh, yes, perhaps I should have asked first. Yes, I can see how it all fits together. But the source of this rotation? I see no mighty river or great wind to power this, so where does it come from?” Asked Edhel, not really apologizing. Elven arrogance, it seemed, was not limited by class.
The act reminded me of Sorecar when he inspected my gun, but where the armourer had been respectful with it, Edhel was more flippant. I considered the possibility that he was a spy sent by one of her peers or the crownlands, though this did not mesh with the methods I had seen so far. Edhel may have been just overly enthusiastic. In either case, I quickly decided to only reveal the antique design for the ethanol engine, and not that of the batteries or the emergency coupler to my suit’s fusion reactor.
“Right, well please ask first next time. As to your question, I won’t bore you with the details, but the rotation is generated by creating a periodic sequence of explosions inside of a machine – a manaless artifice – called a combustion engine, said Emma.
“So that’s what that sound is…” pondered Edhel, “are these artifices typical in Earthream?”
“You are awfully inquisitive for a commoner,” noted Illunor as he inspected his nails for dirt, “and rather accepting of something which should be impossible.”
“I wouldn’t be much of a bard if I wasn’t, my lord,” said Edhel shifting uncomfortably in his seat, “perhaps some music might set the mood better?”
“That would be preferable, bard. I have heard enough of the Earthrealmer’s Road Trip Playlist and would like to listen to some music of real culture,” said Illunor.
The bard agreed and proceeded to awkwardly play a ballad about an adventurer who slew a hydra in some frozen wasteland. Partway through, I politely interrupted the Edhel to point out the seat controls much to his fascination and Illunor’s grumbling at their common nature, and after some adjustment the bard went on playing and I half-heartedly listened while I paid attention to the road and my drone feed.
Particularly after EVI detected something unusual and alerted me to its presence.
”Attention Caded Booker. There is a disabled vehicle blocking the primary route to destination. Heat signatures in the woods are consistent with that of an ambush.”
“Damn it,” I muttered.
I glanced at the drone feed to see a broken cart strewn horizontally across a wooden bridge over a brook. On the surface it looked like a pair of civilians who required aid and assistance, but off in the woods were several heat signatures, several of which held weapons of varying levels of enchantments. Occasionally one of the pair on the bridge would talk with them, suggesting they were in cahoots rather than hostages. I recalled crossing that very bridge not a few hours earlier, so the blockade was very recent.
“EVI, did we pass that cart on the way here?” I asked.
”Negative,” replied EVI.
I grimaced. I had been trained to handle road-side ambushes, but it was only something that was a theoretical possibility. Something that should only occur in a warzone or a corrupt and unstable polity. I knew I had the capacity to handle such an encounter, even non-lethally, but that didn’t change the fact that these were civilians and as such were the responsibility of local law enforcement. Combined with the fact that I had passengers I was responsible for and engaging the ambush was a risky option.
“EVI, give me a list of alternative routes,” I commanded.
”Affirmative. Here is a list of routes in order of recommendation,” replied EVI.
I looked over the routes superimposed on a map of the region and quickly dismissed taking a shortcut through the forest and cutting through farmland. A detour caught my eye that extended the journey by roughly ten kilometers and I immediately sent a pair of drones to scout it out before committing to the detour.
“Are you alright, Cadet Emma Booker? You seem distracted,” asked Edhel, snapping me back to reality.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just focused on driving,” replied Emma.
“I suppose it must be quite taxing to command an artificed carriage of this complexity. Perhaps it might ease your mind if you were to regale me a tale of a hero of your realm?” Said Edhel, strumming a complex tune from his lute as he spoke as each and every pluck triggered a low-level spell.
“Well, that may be a problem. We don’t have any monsters to fight, and wars are a thing of the past,” I said while desperately tip-toeing the subject of aunt Ran, the subject of war, and our voyages through the cosmos, “though we are not without the adventurous spirit. We certainly have many stories of grand voyages. Some mythical and fictional such as The Odyssey as told by the Greek poet Homer and some historical such as the race to the south pole.”
“The south pole,” muttered the bard, “so you have explored all of Earthrealm then? I suppose that makes some sense, if you have artifices such as this then traversal of a globe would be quite manageable.”
“You are quite perceptive,” I said, not wishing to elaborate.
“A great performer knows his audience,” said Edhel with a charming, honest, almost human smile.
I felt a pang of homesickness as an intrusive thought reminded me that I could have gone to a real college surrounded by friendly faces my age, engaging in nightly holostreams and dreaming of adventures in the stars from the safety of a college dorm room. The sight of Illunor in the rear camera was the only thing that kept me grounded, as I almost felt like I was back at home on a road trip rather than returning to a fantasy feudal court, constantly evading death at every turn with the fate of humanity on the line. As such, and prompted by EVI, I barely had the wherewithal to take the planned detour.
A fact which did not pass by Edhel.
“I believe you may have taken a wrong turn, Emma,” he commented.
“Nah, I’m just taking the scenic route. I came from that direction on the way here, and you have inspired me to see the other road and I figure it should only add a few extra minutes to our travel time,” I said, gesturing at a paper map which I had referenced exactly once, “though on that subject, you seem to know these lands quite well. Do you have any recommendations on places to visit in the Nexus to scratch that itch?”
Illunor raised his eyebrow at the detour excuse, knowing full well this was not part of the plan. I worried that he might complain about the issue and but thankfully remained silent as he snacked on the contents of the misused sample storage unit. Edhel himself took on a more pensive posture.
“I’m happy to have been such an inspiration, Emma, though I am sure an explorer such as yourself has little need of such. I would normally suggest the skyward fountains of Verdellan or the cloud tides of Asturia, but that may be too casual for someone of your calibre. Perhaps the severed chasm or the fire marsh of Bhandahova may be more to your liking. Or perhaps…” Edhel leaned in, “I have heard rumours of a dragon in the glassy obsidian wastes of Vurcanar.”
I chuckled at that, knowing how I was fortunate enough to fish a dragon scale out of the nearby lake for the ECS. “The thought of going dragon hunting had certainly crossed my mind…” I mused aloud.
“Yet you sound hesitant. Perhaps it is too much for a newrealmer. Perhaps a slime or a dire rat might be more appropriate,” he said with a tease.
“No, it’s not like that! It’s” I stammered, before attempting to change course after realizing I had been goaded, “what I mean is, I was under the impression that dragons were an endangered species. Where I come from, hunting endangered animals is usually illegal, and big game hunting in general is frowned upon. We do make exceptions in the case of problem animals such as if a large predator starts hunting humans, but as a rule we prefer conservation and try to find ways of coexisting with wildlife such as the use of barrier fences and scaring away dangerous animals rather than being forced to cull their numbers. Having a species go extinct would prevent future generations from appreciating them and risks destabilizing the ecosystem they are a part of. Now if this dragon was actively razing villages and eating civilians and livestock, that would be one thing, but this does not look to be the case. I don’t imagine the Nexus has any settlements in this wasteland, and the dragon clearly wants to be left alone. Killing an innocent dragon would be murder.”
I grinned to myself after delivering a diatribe that would have made my tenth grade social and environmental studies teacher beam with pride, though by the expressions of my passengers my view did not appear to be shared. Edhel’s mouth was agape in shock and fascination, while the Venurian in the back seat merely huffed in disapproval.
“I assure you Newrealmer, there are no innocent dragons,” stated Illunor with a hint of terseness breaking through his otherwise regal demeanor.
“Illunor, I understand that Venurians have personal reasons for not liking dragons, but you can’t just extend that disdain to their descendants or those uninvolved just because they are the same species,” I said.
“If I may interject on your behalf, my lord, I believe I can address Cadet Emma Booker’s concerns,” said Edhel with a bow. Illunor nodded in approval.
“Very well, you may proceed,” he said.
“Thank you, my lord. My dear Emma, you must understand that dragons are not simple animals driven entirely off of instinct as it appears to be the case in Earthrealm. They are monsters. Intelligent, long-lived, violent, greedy, cruel, territorial, selfish flesh-eating monsters. They are evil by the very nature of their being, unable to change by their own accord, and unwilling to change when His Eternal Majesty offered them freedom from their nature. It isn’t that they want to be evil. As intelligent animals – intelligent monsters – dragons are capable of understanding morality, and many have tried to overcome their evil nature at great expense to themselves. A well intended and noble sentiment, yet a doomed one as like all animals, they all succumb to their nature in the end. Overcoming one’s nature is impossible,” said Edhel. His eyes took on a stoic, almost remorseful gaze as he spoke, and Illunor nodded with approval.
I was appalled by this claim, not by the contents so much as how blatantly false it was. As a representative of the human race, I was a living counterexample to his whole argument. We had remained physiologically unchanged as a species since the last Ice Age, and yet in spite of that, in spite of our many flaws, we had found peace and balance. If we could do it, anyone could do it.
“Will all due respect Edhel, that is nonsense. Monsters aren’t born, they are made. It is the mark of any intelligent species can adapt their behaviour to their environment for better or worse, and under the right care any so-called monster can grow to be a force for good,” I began, but while I searched for the right words Edhel shook his head.
“I appreciate your race is an empathetic one, Emma, your idealism is unfounded. As flesh eaters, a dragon must take the life of another animal or person to survive, or they will perish. As such, every dragon has taken a life. As long-lived creatures, they will have amassed a significant number of kills. As the land can only support so much animals, a dragon must be fiercely territorial and aggressive to remove competition, lest they starve. As such, even the most kind-hearted dragon alive must be violent and greedy, and their intelligence fuels this even more so if they know a bountiful land of morsels exists just outside their range.
Now perhaps a multitude of dragons may find a way to co-exist together in some settlement, but to support such a venture would require a large territory of prey, or a livestock animal. Perhaps they could support a large colony by farming grain for their livestock, but that would require effort on their behalf. As large animals, such efforts require a great deal of energy. Yet that size makes it easy for them to intimidate smaller races to do their labour for them, and to keep their client race in line dragons must be cruel. And even so, as their numbers grow so do their needs. As such, they must expand into the lands of their neighbours to survive until there is nothing left to devour, at which point they must turn against their own lest they starve. As such, it is the nature of dragons to conquer and devour. That is why there is no such thing as an innocent dragon,” finished Edhel.
I was speechless, not because I believed Edhel had a point, but because I was horrified at how easy he found it to rationalize the extermination of an entire sapient species. If this was how the elves thought, then it wasn’t the dragons who were the monsters. I suppressed that dark thought. Edhel’s thought process was a product of his culture, not a feature of his elven heritage. If there was any hope of peace between our people, I needed to show him there was another way of being. I needed to prove that co-existence was possible, no matter one’s nature.
I took a deep breath to steady myself before replying.
“That- that is a callous way of seeing things,” I began, though the shock was still there in my voice, “you speak as though there is no natural equilibrium with a dragon, that their only state of being must be to be cruel, to devour, to conquer. But I see things differently. In fact, I might wonder if a fledgling civilization might see the presence of a dragon as a boon rather than a curse. Being intelligent, the locals may be able to come to some agreement with the dragon. Perhaps they might leave some land as a hunting ground or offer up a share of their cattle or guard the dragon as it sleeps. In exchange, the dragon might allow them to build a town outside its mountain and protect them in times of danger. An equitable exchange. A civilization might even create artificial lairs to attract dragons for this very reason. True, some dragons may behave tyrannical towards their town, but a well armed populace of a large city would be more than capable of fighting such a threat, and a rational dragon might reason that threatening their own populace would put their reliable source of food and shelter at risk. You see, it’s all a matter of perspective.”
“You certainly are an imaginative one, Emma, to wonder up a quixotic world where the hare and the fox live together in harmony as equals. Even so, you seem to have ignored one key detail to such a society. What would happen should the dragon not be fed for months on end?” Asked Edhel with his eyebrow raised.
“The same thing as stranded a dozen starving, stranded Elves!” I spat back.
[Alert: Vehicle speed above recommended limit for conditions. Recommendation: slow down. ]
“I am driving slow!” I seethed, not realizing I had sped up with manual control enabled.
“I grow tired of this common prattle,” interjected Illunor just in time to prevent an awkward silence, “bard, play us another song.” “As my lord wishes,” said Edhel with a bow before turning to me with another smile, “perhaps a more soothing melody would be in order? A love song perhaps, to honour Cadet Booker’s compassionate nature?”
I said nothing as Edhel began to strum his lute again to the tune of a love story of a pair of doomed lovers named Ramian and Junette, hating his cheeky knowing grin that only served to get under my skin further as I focused on calming down and slowing the car back to a more reasonable pace before investigating a priority alert which I had been blinded to moments prior.
[Alert: hostile roadblock is absent, location unknown.]
Shit.
“Illunor, we may have a problem,” I said.
“Shush, Newrealmer, have you no class? We are almost at the best part! I’m sure it can wait,” replied the contextually clueless lizard.
I had never wanted to throttle Illunor as much as I did now.
“Illunor, shield, now,” I said with a raised voice.
“I don’t see-“ he started, pausing mid-sentence as his ears perked up.
[Alert: Multiple manafield and spell signatures detected!]
I took evasive maneuvers as Illunor tried to piece together a shield spell, fumbling it twice as panic appeared to set in and providing me with a reminder that Illunor was a civilian, not a soldier. A hail of arrows pelted the exterior of the truck, piercing but not penetrating the composite armour. I was tempted to do nothing but just drive away from the arrow fire, but a foreboding premonition of danger filled me as I recalled Sorecar’s hunter-seeker arrows.
Seeking to avoid that fate, I triggered the active defenses.
The smoke screens deployed around the vehicle, obscuring the sight of any who depended on visible light to see me. A barrage of decoy flares equipped with wooden cores shot upward at angles and diffusing to the side like a pair of giant wings which when combined with the MFD, short for mana-field dampener, inside the vehicle meant that the pelting hail of arrowfire softened to a whirr as the arrows whiffed over the top of the truck, retargeted away from the soft flesh of my passengers and even invoking friendly fire amongst the ambushers.
In the chaos, EVI and my drone swarm fed me complete tactical information on the ambush. Of the 26 individuals at the first blockade, 20 were accounted for, and 3 had died from friendly fire. Ahead at the bridge, 5 more of them were at the bridge where a barrier had been hastily erected to cage me in as the river valley was too deep to cross.
“Illunor, we need a bridge,” I said, taking stock of the wellbeing of my passengers.
The bard was huddled down low and suppressing his manafield, but otherwise rather composed. Illunor, on the other hand, was cowering in the gap between the seats with his hands covering his eyes and his tail tucked in.
“A bridge is no small request, Ne- Cadet Emma Booker,” replied Illunor, “and your ‘Emeffdee’ has blinded me to the outside of this moving death trap.”
“If I drop it, can you at least make a ramp?” I asked as I circled the battlefield. Or tried to, at least, as earthen ramparts emerged from the ground from a yet unseen source to cut off other avenues of escape.
“A ramp? Surely you don’t mean-“ he stammered.
“Yes or no,” I said.
Illunor paused, before taking an unsteady breath.
“Yes. But not with that Emeffdee,” he replied.
“Good. Steady your nerves and prepare to make a ramp ahead of us on my signal,” I said, “in the meantime, get your seatbelt on. This is going to be hairy.”
As I circled around to make my approach on the bridge, the final combatant made his appearance on a nearby tree, revealing himself as an elven mage. An alert focused on the air around him indicating he was preparing an unknown high-tier spell, and I locked the predator drone on him indicating the elf as a high-priority target if our escape plan failed, and I was forced to use lethal force.
If I was forced to kill.
It was one thing to know you may have to kill in the line of duty, but it was much harder to reconcile that with reality. No number of simulations could match the real thing, and a part of me wanted to simply offload the responsibility to EVI to keep my hands clean, but to do that would be betraying my duty as a human being. I breathed in deep and tried not to think about it, instead hoping to rely on the ace I held in my sleeve instead.
“EVI, ready the spell jammer,” I said unevenly.
“Acknowledged, the prototype Exo-Radiation Wave-Field Distruptor is primed. High risk target identified and locked, permission to engage?” EVI asked, forcing me to address the dreaded question.
“Negative,” I replied, “hold your fire. If the ramp fails, then you have permission to engage,” I said.
“Affirmative, on your mark,” replied EVI.
I lined up the truck with the bridge and bolted through the smoke, keeping a careful eye on the mage as I went. His spellform took on a more concerning shape as I accelerated, and I realized I could not afford to let him finish his spell. I triggered the spelljammer.
A terrible roar erupted from an array of speakers printed from mana-resistant materials that would have made Godzilla herself beam with pride. The sound was decidedly unnatural, gnarly, dubstep drop composed of an electric eel, a whale, a mountain lion, and a tyrannosaurus rex all being simultaneously assaulted by a swarm of angry cybernetic murder hornets as an equally chaotic wave of mana blasted outwards from the exterior of the truck, with the interior thankfully sheltered by audio and mana dampening.
The ambushing assailants cowered and panicked, and it was enough to cause the Elven mage’s spell to backfire in his face as his form exploded into ashes, meeting a horrific fate which I had tried so desperately to help him avoid. With all the combatants momentarily incapacitated or dead, I lowered the dampener and turned off the smoke.
“Ramp!” I shouted, snapping the lizard back to reality.
The Venerian nodded and hastily formed an earthwork ahead of us right before the blockade, and the truck leapt off the ramp with a not insignificant amount of air beneath our wheels. I braced for impact, regretting skimping on the shocks in the name of preserving materials, but the impact never came.
[Alert: Friendly spell designated ‘Feather Fall’]
Illunor thankfully had enough wherewithal to gently land the steel brick, and I sped off into the distance away from the trap that had unfolded behind us, leaving the interior of the truck in an awkward silence as we each processed our brush with death in our own way. “How many are dead?” I asked EVI.
“6 hostiles confirmed dead,” replied EVI.
I drove on in silence. Those were six deaths I had tried to avoid, and I became lost in thought as I wondered what I should have done differently to avoid the confrontation entirely.
Edhel broke the silence with a bout of laughter.
“Terrific! Absolutely terrific! Why, I can conjure up many a tale from this encounter alone! I live for this kind of inspiration!” Exclaimed Edhel a little too chipperly considering the circumstance.
“I would rather not hear stories about how I bravely ran away,” I moaned in deadpan sarcasm.
“You think too little of yourself, Cadet Emma Booker. It is plain to me that you are no ordinary rabbit. Make no mistake, I see it as a privilege to bear witness to the roar of a vorpal hare!” Said Edhel as he supressed his laughter, “though I am afraid with all the excitement that I must finish my song some other time.”
“How about I play some of our music?” I offered after the elf revealed his thrill-seeking side.
“Splendid, I would like that. Perhaps something of your ‘Roadtrip playlist’ you speak of? It sounds like a collection of your voyages,” said Edhel.
“That would be an improvement on the truth,” said Illunor dismissively as he eased from his state of shock, “it is little more than noise under the pretense of music.”
“Illunor…” I muttered to myself before turning the mic on, “no, no it’s not like that. I have terabytes of pre-recorded songs from various artists back home which can be played by… an artifice called a speaker. A playlist is a set of songs which are grouped together, usually to listen to in specific situations such as studying, partying, or travelling. The latter collection is what Illunor is referring to.”
I very deliberately chose not to reveal my ‘Unfortunate Daughters’ playlist.
“An artifice which plays music, and a magicless one at that. I must say, Emma, I fear for the bards in your realm,” said Edhel with a laugh.
“Your fear is misplaced, Edhel. Entertainers live like kings where I come from,” I retorted with a smirk of my own, “well, the ones with talent at least.”
“Well, well, I suppose I have to hear my competition!” Said Edhel with a laugh.
“Do as you must, though let it be known that I warned you,” said Illunor as he watched a play on his sightseer.
I had EVI compile a list of songs that left out content offensive to Nexian sensibilities or violating OpSec and as it compiled I mused over what type of sample spread I wanted to show off. Then it struck me. What better way to show off our culture than with some good old blue jumpers and nova rock! Sadly, jumpers were unavailable to show but I still had a whole list of modern artists to choose from.
Moments later, the car speakers sprung to life to the tune of ‘Innocent Youth of Mine. Edhel’s eyes lit up like a child visiting a zero-g gravity park for the first time, seemingly star-struck by the antique electric guitar and the synthesizer-drums in particular.
“What… what is this? I have never heard anything like this!” Proclaimed Edhel.
“Dreadful, isn’t it?” said Illunor, doing what he did best and pretending to hate it.
“Oh there is a lot more where that came from,” I said with a cheeky grin of my own, “this one is called ‘Innocent Youth of Mine’ by ‘Cannons and Poppies’. It’s part of the Nova Rock genre.
“And those strange instruments?” Asked Edhel.
“Oh, you mean the electric guitar and the synthesizer. They are electronic instruments, taking advantage of channeled and modulated electricity to create near any sound we can imagine,” I replied.
“Channeled electricity… are you suggesting these sounds were made by some form of lightning?” Asked Edhel.
[Suggestion: Avoid topic of electricity due to OpSec risk]
I nodded at EVI’s warning, thankful that it caught me before I discussed the very thing that all of my equipment ran on.
“It’s not exactly lightning, but close enough,” I said.
“If I had not witnessed to your display of power earlier, I might have perhaps been more skeptical of such a claim, but I suppose a lady must keep her secrets.” said Edhel with a raised eyebrow and chuckle, “but I digress, this music is most interesting.”
“There is a lot more where that came from,” I said with a cheeky grin of my own.
“If I ever have a prisoner in need of torture, I will turn to you first,” replied Illunor, “if you are willing to subject your peers to this madness then I cannot imagine what you would force upon your enemies before dunking them in ice.”
“In your dreams,” I retorted.
I played a few other songs including Astrodesee’s ‘Meteor Struck’, the Martian classic ‘Hotel Cydonia’ and even ‘Switching to Warp’ before Elaseer emerged from the distance, and I pulled up outside the gate to drop Edhel off.
“Here already?” Asked Edhel.
“Well, yeah. I was just running a quick errand, I didn’t want to go too far,” I replied casually.
“That was a distance worth at least five days of walking by foot, and you call that a ‘quick errand’?” Asked Edhel. I shrugged, and he laughed.
“Well in any case, thank you for allowing me passage in your car. I must apologize for my lack of gift or payment…” said Edhel. “Don’t worry about it, it was on the way,” I replied.
“I see, how generous. Perhaps we might one day meet again?” Asked Edhel.
“Maybe, but I’m not sure how likely that is. The academy takes up most of my time,” I replied, “though you never know. I still have a lot of quest hours to complete.”
“Is that so? In that case, I hope we meet again! Goodbye Cadet Emma Booker and farewell Lord Illunor Rularia,” he said. “And good travels to you, bard,” said Illunor.
I waved off Edhel and drove back to the academy, Illunor still sulking in the back seat.
“Perhaps next time, you should steer us away from danger?” Suggested Illunor.
“I tried, but we were tracked,” I replied.
I groaned inwardly at the additional work needed to fix the truck. EVI compiled a list of upgrades for future engagements, batting away my idea for a ‘turbo mode’ and a ‘jump boost’. Though at the end of the day, meeting the bard wasn’t a complete loss. It felt good to talk to someone almost normal for once, and I hoped I met him again.
Edhel Redoehdelnif
I watched as Cadet Emma Booker’s vehicle went off into the distance, getting one last look at the Earthrealmer’s strange artifice before turning towards the gate. The voyage was an exotic experience, not unlike that of a fever dream or a peak into a world completely alien to my own. Indeed, it was a struggle to contain my excitement and enthusiasm and process the experience rationally as I made my way through the southern gates of Elaseer and turned the corner of an alley before entering an impossible structure that did not exist.
“You are earlier than expected,” said the shadowy figure of my handler as I made my way to the meeting hall.
“The Earthrealmer’s means of transportation proved far more expedient than anticipated, my lord” I spoke as I knelt before him, “even with her unexpected departure from the anticipated road and the ambush we traveled for scantly more than an hour.”
“Yes, I will require a full report from you. Perhaps you can shed some light on the ‘smoke dragon’ my men claim intervened on the Earthrealmer’s behalf,” said my handler.
“Smoke Dragon, my lord?” I asked.
My handler responded by activating his sight-seer, revealing how the ambush had appeared from the outside. The Earthrealmer’s uncanny artifice traversed down the road, a pair of manafields displaying proudly from within until the archers began their assault. The artifice then transformed as smoke billowed out from its pores and wings sprung forth above until it was the form of a mighty wrym with a pair of glowing eyes springing forth from its ever extending head where it then gave forth a terrible unholy roar which sent waves of mana outward. The mage working to seal the area and trap their mark vapourized in an instant as his spell backfired. It was apparent to Edhel that his exceptional experience in the carriage was merely a muted rendition of the events unfolding around them.
It would seem the hare had the shadow of a dragon.
“I do have some insight, though I must confess the Earthrealmer did very little in the way of direct action. I suspect she has some unseen means of commanding and scrying through her artifices,” I said, “one which does not utilize magic as we know it.”
“Such a statement is heresy,” said my handler, “but such special circumstances are your reason for being. I will require you submit your memories for verification. What is your appraisal of the new realmer?”
“The girl is far more dangerous than a surface appraisal would suggest, though she prefers to conceal that power rather than utilize it out of a misplaced sense of compassion. Her people appear to have a boundless creative drive through which such artifices are birthed, though again it is misdirected towards more common applications. I believe that if properly tamed, this human animal may provide us with great works of art,” I said with a bow.
“I see. Does the girl know you work for us?” Asked my handler.
“She may harbour some suspicions, though did not voice them outright beyond concealing her knowledge,” I said, “though nothing significant. Provided our next meet is under believable circumstances such as a festival she should view me as cordial.”
“She has indeed proven clever,” conceded my handler, “very well, I will make arrangements for your paths to cross again. Perhaps I will arrange for her to be a contestant at the next inter-academy tournament. In the mean time, prepare your report and don’t wander far. This is a priority assignment.”
“As you wish, my lord,” I said with a bow and a smile.
Emma Booker had proved to be an interesting animal indeed, and I hoped our paths crossed again.

While [[Mass Production]] is having its day in the sun (in a warehouse), I've decided to see if the new Holy synergy giant can pull its weight, and what better deck to accommodate it than Libram Paladin! This is also a 40 card version, hence I call it paper paladin!
Abstract: Using the tutors in the deck, play a number of small minions and Librams of Wisdom to control the board in the early game. On the power turn, drop a number of reduced-cost, high stat minions along either a loatheb or Rebuke. On the next turn, drop a Liadrin or another instant damage card such as Holy glowstick to the face.
Strengths: Good into spell-heavy decks, Super fun to play
Weaknesses: Early aggression without Broom or Glowsticks, Silence, Shaman (devolve)
My record with this exact deck: 8-8
Decklist:

Paper

Class: Paladin

Format: Wild

2x (1) Aldor Attendant

2x (1) Animated Broomstick

2x (1) Crystology

2x (1) Knight of Anointment

2x (2) Hand of A'dal

2x (2) Hi Ho Silverwing

1x (2) Kotori Lightblade

2x (2) Libram of Wisdom

2x (2) Rebuke

2x (3) Alliance Bannerman

1x (3) Arcane Golem

2x (3) Flickering Lightbot

2x (3) Myrmidon

1x (3) Prince Renathal

1x (3) Small-Time Recruits

1x (3) Stonehearth Vindicator

1x (3) The Voraxx

1x (4) E.T.C., Band Manager

1x (2) Dance Floor

1x (3) Small-Time Recruits

1x (7) Lynessa Sunsorrow

2x (4) Holy Glowsticks

1x (5) Loatheb

2x (6) Devout Pupil

1x (7) Lady Liadrin

1x (0) Zilliax Deluxe 3000

1x (0) Zilliax Deluxe 3000

1x (2) Power Module

1x (5) Ticking Module

2x (9) Lightray

2x (12) Arcane Giant

AAEBAYDhBgrSA/oOur0CuccC+aQEoeIEl+8E/cQFx6QGiOYGD4K0Ap3sAtn+Av24A+u5A5XNA8DRA8zrA/D2A9O9BOLTBLyPBrWeBsG2BtS4BgABBrq9Av3EBePjAv3EBeuABv3EBfKzBsekBvazBsekBureBsekBgAA

To use this deck, copy it to your clipboard and create a new deck in Hearthstone

Early game: You're looking for draw. Small-Time Recruits, Crystology, Knight of Anointment, Hi Ho Silverwing. Sort of in that order. You need to drop both Aldor Attendants to have the best chance in the midgame. There are times you might need to tempo out a broom just to kill off a dangerous minion.
Midgame: You should have a libram of wisdom that ideally costs (1) or less. It's not time to push yet. Play Librams to trade well and up your cast spell count. Your first push in the game will likely be either plopping a lightray, Devout Pupil or the first half flickering lightbot (and maybe second). These pushes should give you room to throw down cards like The Voraxx and Kotori Lightblade to copy your wisdoms and increase your lead, or if behind, make neat rushing turns that might require some thought to navigate.
I think this is the key to this deck is the midgame. The power of this deck comes from many small buffs on your minions and a lot of mana manipulation, which means that there are a lot of decisions to optimize and that those decisions aren't usually easy to optimize either. A value trade that preserves a low health minion might not be as good as a a full trade that lets you play another libram that lets you eek out a giant or two. Or preserving the Glowstick vs killing a Toy Boat. Spending all your Librams on a single Hi Ho to make your opponent kill it and give you draw, or give your other minions the buffs so that Hi Ho isn't the target of a silence or other no-DR removal.
Late Game: Kinda boring. Big minions, Loatheb or Rebuke, smack them in the face next turn. If that didn't work, play a myrmidon to draw 5 cards and try it again.
ETC: Dance floor for more rushing turns, since this is a board deck. Lynessa for libram generation redundancy. Small-Time Recruits because having two of these in the deck is backbreaking when you draw both crystologies too.
Zilliax 3000: I don't think I've seen this form of zilliax featured prominently, it's "Costs (1) less per minion and doubles attack at the start of the turn." Power and Ticking module. My thought is that the power turn involves playing big minions, maybe rushing them into another full board and then waiting until next turn. So the plan would be to play a cheap Zilliax with some librams and be able to double the buffs when it's time to go face. I've only had it happen twice so far lol

The "Comedy Quens" Stand-Up Challenge results are in!
DURING THE EPISODE...

• After returning from the elimination, Angeria wipes off Elektra's mirror message, with the girls being gagged by the fact that both US girls were eliminated back to back. Plastique says that she thinks Elektra was far too in over her head & that she should've put up a more brutal fight regarding the elimination. She was trying too hard to make alliances instead of proving why she needed to be there, which Plastique seconds and says that that's why she chose her lipstick, on top of the fact that Adore had not only saved her last week but is her season 2 sister so she couldn't do that to her.
• As the queens look over the lipsticks, the girls are gagged that Plastique said everything about Elektra and still picked Adore. She says she knows it isn't against her, but it was for her gain. Adore is a considerable threat, and after 2 weeks of being at the top, she knows that Adore can do what she needs to do to win this competition, so she is confident in her skills enough to send home a big threat, especially because Elektra hadn't been featured in the competition at that point. Adore says that there are no hard feelings, but she does want her to expect there to be hell to pay for trying to eliminate her because she's fighting for a crown.

Monét X Change has won the "Cameo-Style Filmed Videos" Mini Challenge!

• After the mini-challenge results are announced, Monét isn't that happy but plays it off by saying that she'll finally be the one to win a maxi challenge, which the girls laugh at. Shannel, yet again, says that so far, it'll be all that she wins a confessional. Finally, it's told that they're doing stand, and Monét is incredibly happy that it's another comedic challenge that's up her alley & she gets to pick the order. She begins asking the girls what they want, placing herself last. Both Shannel & Eva wish to go first, so Monét picks Shannel and pulls Eva aside and says that she's confident that she'll do better than Shannel in the long run, so it'll place her in a better standing.
• The girls all prepare for the challenge, and Angeria is just practicing her stand-up set, trying to be as funny as possible. She reads off some of her jokes to Adore, which Adore finds super funny & reads off some of hers back to Angeria, where Angeria tells her that she's worried that Adore doesn't have the best jokes for this kind of challenge. The girls all go to the main stage to practice their sets, where Angeria does extremely well yet has some problems with letting the room breathe for laugh lines.
• They continue to practice on the main stage, where Plastique is told that all of her jokes so far are very convoluted and have a little punchline, with her performance all over the place. Monét says in a confessional that she thinks she's got this in the bag this week and messes with Plastique by heckling her just a tad, to which Adore laughs. Plastique says in a confessional that this is more of a reason why she should've sent Adore packing last week. Shannel does some of her set, to which the judges are seen laughing at the opening joke, but the jokes start to get more offensive, and they cut her off.

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 🇨🇦 ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖──

ON THE MAINSTAGE...
The tops and bottoms of the week step forward to hear their critiques...
Adore Delano receives negative critiques from the judges. Brad told her that the main problem with her performance this week was that she started well and did well overall, but she let them see she was sweating too much. She kept dropping the f-bomb every 5 seconds and dropped her cards when she knew they were out of order. She didn't let it flow as much as needed. She was allowed structure like every other queen, but she relied on the structure instead of being her naturally funny self. Her runway this week, though, is gorgeous. She blended her rebel aesthetic into this gorgeous elevated punk look.
Angeria Paris VanMichaels receives positive critiques from the judges. Brooke told Angeria that her performance this week was just a fantastic level. She came out and told them the funniest story on the planet, and even though they didn't believe it was 100% true in hindsight, the way she said it had them hooked every second. Facial expressions, voices, body movements; she put everything into that performance to make them laugh, and it worked. This week, her runway also disappointed them; loving how she made this southern belle mixed with this plaid aesthetic but noticed minor clashes.
Eva Le Queen receives positive critiques from the judges. The judges say that she's one of those queens who don't know what she'll do next because this comedic performance was fantastic. She blended stories from her childhood into this funny stand-up set, even working with the crowd to make them laugh and make herself relatable. That's what she did best as a comedienne, making herself relatable to the crowd and making sure they felt comfortable laughing at every joke she made, no matter how wild. Her runway was gorgeous and different for her, but just because it's plaid doesn't mean it's Vivienne Westwood.
Monét X Change receives positive critiques from the judges. Traci says she had the best performance of the entire night. She made an intelligent decision by putting herself last because she warmed them up again with one final excellent performance. She told these fantastic stories, complete with crowd work and whole-body movements where she dove across the stage and made them laugh. She had no holds barred with this challenge because she put her everything, clearly so hungry for a win. Even though her runway this week isn't their favorite, they love how she blended the plaid into this dragged-up lumberjack.
Plastique Tiara receives negative critiques from the judges. The judges say that she is more than just a pretty face; she had to prove that when it came to comedy. It wasn't that she wasn't funny; it was just that she performed it as more of a roast than a stand-up. She came out and started telling them stories about the competition and making fun of the other girls. It was funny at some points but oddly unrelatable for others since she was saying things that would only be funny if the audience had been there. Her runway, though? It was a superb Heathers-inspired ensemble with a funny death reveal.
Shannel receives negative critiques from the judges. Brooke says that the main thing they have to say about Shannel is that she left them more to be desired this week. She had to start the whole thing since she wanted to be first so severely, but she didn't do what was required of her. She is a drag professional by the way she handled the scene. Still, she seemed to be monologuing consistently and needed to make more effort to interject the comedy into a speech. This week's runway also disappoints them since this is her 6th time wearing a gown, and she needs to switch it up.
Angeria Paris VanMichaels, Monét X Change, Condragulations! You are the Top Two All Stars of the week!
Plastique Tiara, Shannel...I'm sorry, my Dears. You are both up for elimination.

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 🇨🇦 ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖──

DURING UNTUCKED...

• The girls all enter back into untucked, and Monét cheers over getting her second win in the competition and having been the only one not in the Bottom, to which Angeria congratulates her as well because now they've both won challenges after being underestimated by the other girls. Shannel rolls her eyes and finally says Monét won, which she doesn't appreciate and quickly corrects her. She rolls her eyes and sits back from starting a fight. Eva and Adore shudder because they're thankful to be safe but feel bad for Plastique, who walks off. Eva walks after Plastique, who's outside the door, saying that she's afraid of going home and feels like giving up, to which Eva tells her that she better not because there are people back in the UK counting on her. They hug after a long emotional talk and enter the werkroom again.
• Plastique first talks to Monét and says that they're both sisters from the UK and that even though she didn't appreciate her heckling, she tells her how she felt about it, and they have a mature conversation where Monét apologizes. Monét says that she sees how badly Plastique wants to be here. Plastique says the same to Angeria and emphasizes how much this competition means to her and how much bigger it is than just her being here. Angeria nods along and agrees that it's much bigger than both in these rising political times.
• Shannel walks over to Monét and apologizes if she's offended her throughout the competition. She stresses that she must keep representing her country correctly since she's the only Down Under girl. Monét agrees but says she's already been able to do that for weeks. Shannel says she's a lost cause when fighting with Monèt and goes on to Angeria. She stresses that as a pageant girl, this is the biggest pageant in the world, and she wants to keep competing. Angeria agrees and says that she isn't sure, to which Shannel responds with reasons why she needs to stay with Angeria, just nodding to everyone.

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 🇨🇦 ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖──

AFTER DELIBERATION...
Angeria Paris VanMichaels and Plastique Tiara make their lipstick choices and walk back to the stage, where the other Queens are waiting for them...
TOP2: Angeria Paris VanMichaels / Monét X Change
HIGH: Eva Le Queen
LOW: Adore Delano
BTM2: Plastique Tiara / Shannel
The Top Two Queens will Lip-Sync for their Legacy to "Your Daddy Don't Know" by Toronto. This is your chance to impress me, win the challenge prize, and gain the power to give one of the Bottom Queens the chop. Good Luck, and Don't Fuck It Up!
POLL / Track Record

Four years ago, Reddit helped me make one of the best financial decisions I'll ever make. Well, we're coming up on another one, and I would love some feedback/advice.
Back then, y'all encouraged my 23-year-old self to buy my first home. We ended up paying ~$210k for a terrific home that's now valued at ~$360k+ and an interest rate of 2.875%. I still work at the company, and several years later, my wife and I are doing really well.
3 days ago, we found a home in Zillow that's gorgeous and in a terrific neighborhood near downtown in our up-and-coming city (we're currently about 20 minutes out). It checks nearly all the boxes, and it's listed at $649,000.
It's the kind of home I never thought I'd be able to afford - and I'm still not 100% sure if we can. But I think so?
Quick stats Ages: We just turned 28/29 Combined Salary: ~$180k-190k (depending on bonuses and inconsistent freelance work). Savings: $101,000 in cash. ~$12k in a brokerage account. ~$191,000 in retirement accounts. 2 cars - paid off. Mine should be good for 8+ years. My wife will likely need to replace hers in a couple years. Kids aren't in the cards for us, so thankfully that's not a concern.
Current home - mortgage payment is $1,200 monthly. Rental calculators online say that we should expect to get $1,600-$2,000 from it. Would likely go through a property management company. It's 4 years old and in solid shape.
Avg. Monthly spending: $6,700-$7,000, including existing mortgage. We've been a little sloppy here, and could probably cut this down a bit.
Monthly takehome - combined, I have us at around $12,125 monthly. If we adjust retirement contributions down to 15% each, then that jumps to $13k.
Because we want to maintain an emergency fund, we only want to put around 10% down on the home.
If you've read this far, I genuinely appreciate it.
Specific questions: 1. Are we about to be house poor? By my numbers, I'm thinking we should still be saving around $1,500 a month with the new plan, but that is tighter than we've been.

1. Is it more efficient to use a 401k loan (or a HELOC on our existing home) for the other 10% of the downpayment? PMI (est. at $300/monthly) feels like throwing money away. Would also appreciate any other ideas here.
   
2. Lower interest rate aside, are we likely to save more in interest from selling our current home and applying the equity toward the new one? Or would it be better to rent it out, try to cut even on the mortgage, and maintain the equity/rate there?
   
3. I recognize that we've been privileged/blessed to be in a really good situation over the past few years. Any additional advice/concerns about the above? Anything I'm not considering? Thanks!
   

Four years ago, Reddit helped me make one of the best financial decisions I'll ever make. Well, we're coming up on another one, and I would love some feedback/advice.
Back then, y'all encouraged my 23-year-old self to buy my first home. We ended up paying ~$210k for a terrific home that's now valued at ~$360k+ and an interest rate of 2.875%. I still work at the company, and several years later, my wife and I are doing really well.
3 days ago, we found a home in Zillow that's gorgeous and in a terrific neighborhood near downtown in our up-and-coming city (we're currently about 20 minutes out). It checks nearly all the boxes, and it's listed at $649,000.
It's the kind of home I never thought I'd be able to afford - and I'm still not 100% sure if we can. But I think so?
Quick stats Ages: We just turned 28/29 Combined Salary: ~$180k-190k (depending on bonuses and inconsistent freelance work). Savings: $101,000 in cash. ~$12k in a brokerage account. ~$191,000 in retirement accounts. 2 cars - paid off. Mine should be good for 8+ years. My wife will likely need to replace hers in a couple years. Kids aren't in the cards for us, so thankfully that's not a concern.
Current home - mortgage payment is $1,200 monthly. Rental calculators online say that we should expect to get $1,600-$2,000 from it. Would likely go through a property management company. It's 4 years old and in solid shape.
Avg. Monthly spending: $6,700-$7,000, including existing mortgage. We've been a little sloppy here, and could probably cut this down a bit.
Monthly takehome - combined, I have us at around $12,125 monthly. If we adjust retirement contributions down to 15% each, then that jumps to $13k.
Because we want to maintain an emergency fund, we only want to put around 10% down on the home.
If you've read this far, I genuinely appreciate it.
Specific questions: 1. Are we about to be house poor? By my numbers, I'm thinking we should still be saving around $1,500 a month with the new plan, but that is tighter than we've been.

1. Is it more efficient to use a 401k loan (or a HELOC on our existing home) for the other 10% of the downpayment? PMI (est. at $300/monthly) feels like throwing money away. Would also appreciate any other ideas here.
   
2. Lower interest rate aside, are we likely to save more in interest from selling our current home and applying the equity toward the new one? Or would it be better to rent it out, try to cut even on the mortgage, and maintain the equity/rate there?
   
3. I recognize that we've been privileged/blessed to be in a really good situation over the past few years. Any additional advice/concerns about the above? Anything I'm not considering? Thanks!
   

Four years ago, Reddit helped me make one of the best financial decisions I'll ever make. Well, we're coming up on another one, and I would love some feedback/advice.
Back then, y'all encouraged my 23-year-old self to buy my first home. We ended up paying ~$210k for a terrific home that's now valued at ~$360k+ and an interest rate of 2.875%. I still work at the company, and several years later, my wife and I are doing really well.
3 days ago, we found a home in Zillow that's gorgeous and in a terrific neighborhood near downtown in our up-and-coming city (we're currently about 20 minutes out). It checks nearly all the boxes, and it's listed at $649,000.
It's the kind of home I never thought I'd be able to afford - and I'm still not 100% sure if we can. But I think so?
Quick stats Ages: We just turned 28/29 Combined Salary: ~$180k-190k (depending on bonuses and inconsistent freelance work). Savings: $101,000 in cash. ~$12k in a brokerage account. ~$191,000 in retirement accounts. 2 cars - paid off. Mine should be good for 8+ years. My wife will likely need to replace hers in a couple years. Kids aren't in the cards for us, so thankfully that's not a concern.
Current home - mortgage payment is $1,200 monthly. Rental calculators online say that we should expect to get $1,600-$2,000 from it. Would likely go through a property management company. It's 4 years old and in solid shape.
Avg. Monthly spending: $6,700-$7,000, including existing mortgage. We've been a little sloppy here, and could probably cut this down a bit.
Monthly takehome - combined, I have us at around $12,125 monthly. If we adjust retirement contributions down to 15% each, then that jumps to $13k.
Because we want to maintain an emergency fund, we only want to put around 10% down on the home.
If you've read this far, I genuinely appreciate it.
Specific questions: 1. Are we about to be house poor? By my numbers, I'm thinking we should still be saving around $1,500 a month with the new plan, but that is tighter than we've been.

1. Is it more efficient to use a 401k loan (or a HELOC on our existing home) for the other 10% of the downpayment? PMI (est. at $300/monthly) feels like throwing money away. Would also appreciate any other ideas here.
   
2. Lower interest rate aside, are we likely to save more in interest from selling our current home and applying the equity toward the new one? Or would it be better to rent it out, try to cut even on the mortgage, and maintain the equity/rate there?
   
3. I recognize that we've been privileged/blessed to be in a really good situation over the past few years. Any additional advice/concerns about the above? Anything I'm not considering? Thanks!
   

Ha! Of course! Jackpot!

Luck shines upon me, indeed! Oh yes!

For nothing beats Spring!!

UMA Spring is fourth, of the seasons Union beat. The strongest of all, he made Kyoto his playground; he loves games dearly. He only speaks in haiku, hence I shall follow.

Perusing Legend

Others Interacted With

• Andy the Undead
• Fuuko Izumo, Unluck
• God, one above all
• Rip Tristan, one Unrepair
• Shen Xian, once Untruth
• Top Bull Sparx, Unstoppable

Regarding Format

• Most feats are ordered...with chronological tact. Only artefacts...find themselves in games' pattern.
• Mouse above a link...to find the chapter number.
• Scans draw from past Loop; Spring has yet to reappear.
• Character page.
• If poetry really isn't your thing, here's a version of this thread that doesn't have any of that.

Spring's Core (No Phase 1)

• Passive tree germination, within nearby range
  • The trees affected by this? Could have changed species--it better suits the season
• Tugs a treasure chest, many times larger than him, filled with game trinkets

Second Phase of Spring

Physical Actions Performed

• Billy's Unbalance, a spring of a different sort, bends Tokyo Tower. Spring, at the top, never fell...his grip has true strength
• (Controlled by evil forces) Fell in battle against Spring, Isshin Tesshu did
• Marked Isshin's grave with carved stone, hefted overhead

Springtime Essence Controlling

• Upon first contact, petals will transform people...all are dendrified
  • The change is almost instant
• With but half an hour, Spring's presence will dendrify; no one can defend
  • Even if Spring wants this not, the process goes on
• When a challenger shows, Spring collects the trees, coalescing energy
  • Satellites are barred, to the Union's great dismay
• Upon Spring's felling, all that transformed into trees, returns to its state

Phase 2's Kabuki

Physical Actions Performed

• Punches a crater, which dwarfs the nearby Fuuko, to play Negate Tops
  • With a champion declared, the punched ground resets
• Fuuko and Isshin fly up--caused from Spring's great stomp
• An Unbreakable pauldron, shields Fuuko from death...it takes but a single punch!
• Lightning struck him thrice
• Victim to felled tree and rock...and his box of games
• His chest torn open can't hide...his core's emotions

Springtime Essence Controlling

• Brings forth spring rainstorms, lightning kills the trees gathered
  • Other targets are: Unbreakable and Undead
• Directed gales launch Fuuko

Miscellaneous

• You'll regret interference, until dendrified...punishment for saboteurs; no damage allowed
• Blasphemes against divine ideas, placed within his mind

Phase 3

(Phase 3 drops the haiku talking scheme due to God's forced brainwashing)

Physicals

• Jumps from the top of Tokyo Tower to Tokyo below, crushing the buildings he lands on with a new immense size
• Phase 3 is impervious to all attacks, though if you aren't explicitly trying to attack then it is possible for the attacks to land
• Rip's Blade Runner blade does no damage despite bypassing his imperviousness
• Shen's Nyoi-Kinko staff also fails to do anything
• Unbreakable Tachyoshot drives Rip's blade into Spring's chestplate, which was unable to pierce it by itself
• Cut down the middle when Andy's sword is made unchanging by Billy

Elemental Control

• Where he stomps, nature blooms, replacing what was there before
• Sends a wave of cherry petals to dendrify a borough of Tokyo untouched so far
• Entering Phase 3 greatly expanded his area of influence
• Controls cherry tree limbs
• Tags Andy with cherry petal projectiles
• Snatches the Nyoi-Kinko and Nico's Psycho Pods with cherry limbs
• Shields himself with castle-sized cherry trees

Artefacts

General

• Has a list of everyone who he's destroyed in artefact games
  • A toll of 100,000 lives are summoned from around the globe to serve as Fuuko's ante
• Possesses a huge box filled with artefacts he's found in Japan
  • These possess enough memories within to cause great pain to Fuuko as she touches them
  • Here are a few of them

Enoh Jusshu #5

• Negate Tops uses Negators as tops to clash in a battle arena, though if they lose the game then they die
  • A top that traps Negators' souls in them with the option to force how they move or let the trapped Negator choose
  • Spring is able to suck Andy from inside an Unchange sphere when he chooses him as his top

The Second Game (No Artefact Name)

• Calls up 13 Negators' souls to act as cards in a game of karuta

Kofusai

• Owns a pair of dice that allows the user to steal away what the target cherishes the most, so long as the user correctly guesses if it rolls odd or even
  • Intercepts a nuke and renders it a dud
  • Artefact details
  • Kills Spring

Warmth and kindness have…
Helped to usher in a change…
In this set of rules…
That I shall cherish with pride.
For I am the spring itself.

To whom it may concern,
Shalom. Introductions aside, just know that I am a hardcore gamer who has pristine observation skills. I wanted to take it upon myself to give a comprehensive Tier List of the entirety of Chapter 5, Season 2 weapons.
This is not a spreadsheet, no specific mathematical mumbo jumbo needed.
In other words, take my word for it and debate me if you disagree with my tier list for this season.
Additionally, mythic boss weapons are excluded because I judge the weapon classes they belong to holistically. Although mythic weapons do more damage than legendary variants, they are restricted from being customized to preference, thus making the legendary variant of each mythic far superior.
Lastly, there are two honorable mention tiers and this is far from the typical tier list.
Chonk_Lord48's Observations:
Atrocity - Waterbending
S Tier - Thunder Burst SMG, Gatekeeper Shotgun, Ranger Pistol, Cluster Clingers
A Tier - Nemesis AR, Huntress DMR, Hand Cannon, Chain of Hades
B Tier - Warforged AR, Drum Gun, Earthbending
C Tier - Hammer Pump Shotgun, Tactical AR, Airbending, Reaper Sniper Rifle
D Tier - Thunderbolt of Zeus, Firebending
F Tier - Frenzy Auto Shotgun, Chewie's Bowcaster, Darth Vader's Lightsaber
Absurdity - Harbinger SMG, E-11
Reasoning Section
Atrocity - Waterbending is an all encompassing infinite range (it travels past render range) infinite ammo, instant reload super power that will drop any enemy of most skill ranges in exactly two shots. This two shot kill problem is especially a factor when your enemy is using an untraceable form of Zen or Aimbot. Gamers who rely on this atrocious thing to kill or get wins are either inept at the game OR fighting water with water. Thought I would NEVER hear that phrase... Yet it is LITERAL. This weapon should have started and ended with the Avatar: The Last Airbender mini event. This is the second worst decision Epic has ever made, right next to... Well, that's a banned name isn't it... that pleb pleaser from Season X. Waterbending is so broken that it just removes the enjoyment from the game entirely. Even though it is labeled as a mythic rarity item it is far more common than bandages and perhaps more common than most common rarity weapons. Horrendous, absolutely horrendous decision.
S Tier - The Thunder Burst SMG is a phenomenal skill-based weapon that requires precision accuracy to observe the sheer powerhouse of a weapon it is. It has one of the lowest Time To Kill (TTK) in the game due to It's powerful damage output, accuracy, and headshot multiplier (1.76x). It can be used for mid-range combat as well with a modest damage reduction.
The Gatekeeper Shotgun is by far the BEST shotgun ever released in Fortnite History, surpassing the Charge Shotgun class except its Mythic variant. This shotgun excels in point blank range and the TTK is less than two seconds. It has a great spread which provides the opportunity for some guaranteed hits when firing from the hip. When it is aimed down, the spread becomes more precise. Most shotguns do this, yet the Gatekeeper stands out because the choke is not pinpoint accurate (like other failures of a shotgun) and its crosshair fits so nicely around an enemy's head.
The Ranger Pistol has a fast TTK and is damn near the perfection of the Thunder Burst SMG. The two are so similar in damage output, firerate, reload time and range that honestly a player can use either and perform well. When compared to the Warforged AR, it is more accurate, has a higher headshot multiplier, and reloads much faster.
Cluster Clingers were literally the only throwable explosives that did enough damage required to kill. A lethal weapon in the hands of a skilled player. This specific item will forever hold its place as the 'only' explosive throwable item. Be honest, the rest were just gimmicks that were terrible and practically useless. This was the ONLY grenade that actually put enemies back to the lobby. Why it was removed is beyond nonsensical. Anyone who could dare complain about the first (only) grenade that did grenading is... I will say it, part of the Little Timmy community (plebs) that Epic LOVES to humor (I remember Season X well).
Each of these weapons are truly a masterpiece in their class and stand out as among the greatest weapons to ever touch the surface of the game. They do not require attachments to be good. These weapons can be deadly in the hands of players from all skill ranges. From common to legendary or mythic these weapons take the cake as this season's best.
A Tier - The Huntress DMR is the BEST DMR to date. All other DMRs pale in comparison to this one (Looking at you Cobra) because it actually hits targets when you aim and shoot directly at them. This would have been S-Tier but since it requires a specific set of attachments each game to be superior, it cannot be placed there. This weapon shoots the farthest and has little to no bullet drop whatsoever. It is superior to the once great Reaper Sniper rifle and takes the cake as the best long-range choice this season.
Note: Perhaps with the fresh new ballistics system, the Cobra DMR can make a return and actually function properly instead of being exclusive to function on PC.
The Hand Cannon is a re-imagining of one of Chapter 1's best weapons. It is superior to other slow firing, semi-automatic weapons due to its damage output and buffed headshot multiplier. This weapon is exclusive for highly accurate and skilled players which is precisely why it remains in A Tier. It is not universally great (S-Tier), yet it still rewards those with precise aim. The fun with this weapon is that it doubles as a close range defender or a sniper rifle depending on attachment preference. When modded to be a long-range weapon it should be noted that it has less bullet drop than the Reaper Sniper Rifle. The other optimization is the classic one which can be done with an optic attached or not. When used in this classic form, it outclasses the Hammer Pump Shotgun entirely. It does more headshot damage and less body shot damage, sure, but at least significant damage is guaranteed since spread is not a factor.
The Nemesis AR is a powerhouse of a weapon as well which is surprisingly accurate for its high damage output and adequate headshot multiplier. It has a fast TTK and requires little investment to be superior to other weapons in its class.
The Chain of Hades is not an an atrocity. It is very much required to counter and punish enemies who think they are tough guys fleeing from a fight using shockwaves or the wings of Icarus, or even a motorbike. It is fun to use, when it works. This item is prevented from being S-Tier due to the FACT it does not work properly. This weapon has a sweeping animation and must be paired with area of effect damage. The center of the crosshair is NOT the only area of damage. This can be tested and proven by opening a door, aiming in the middle of the doorway, and swinging. You will notice the it does indeed deal damage to the left and right of the crosshair. Sadly, and unsurprisingly, this AOE melee weapon seems to exclusively function properly on PC. When used on PC, this chain causes a stagger that prevents a weapon from firing in a minute instances. That is, each hit when swung, causes an interruption of a weapon firing. This feature is nonexistent on consoles and seems intentional. As for the chain pull, that attack causes stagger universally, which is good.
B Tier - The Warforged AR is decent at best. Even with a legendary properly modded variant, it pales in comparison to the Nemesis AR, which requires little investment to no investment. This weapon had much potential but Epic clealry refuses to allow an S-Tier assault rifle to exist again.
The Drum Gun is yet another re-imagining of one of the greatest weapons to enter the META first debuted in Chapter 1. This version, regardless of attachments, fails to be what it once was. It is about as accurate as the Warforged and also lacks recoil control even with the attachments meant to reduce it.
Earthbending was a failed opportunity for Epic to allow players to have fun with the game. I would have preferred summoning armor on my character (like Toph does in the show) paired with the ability to bull charge into an enemy which would deal an atrocious amount of damage to be equally unfair as Waterbending. Maybe 150 damage or simply an instant KO. Heck if I care you cannot shoot the armor off quick enough to cancel the attack. As for Earthbebding as it was made, the cover provided was stronger than metal, and more reliable than porta bunkers. Long before the time it would take to break the cover, the ability to form another wall is primed and ready. Hurling large, fine cut rock slabs at enemies should have caused a KO in two hits to counter that atrocity not worth my breath anymore.
C Tier - The Hammer Pump Shotgun is just a joke but can still be deadly when paired with an appropriate backup weapon. This weapon could be A-Tier at best when paired with a Thunder Burst SMG or F-Tier at worst when used alone. By that logic, it averages to the middle of the tier list. Oh I miss the days when it just took one skilled shot to send them back to the lobby with the original Pump Shotgun re-imagined in Chapter 1 Season 5. This was arguably the most balanced period in Fortnite's history especially for both SMGs and ARs.
The Tactical AR is yet another re-imagining of one of the greatest weapons. This too pales in comparison to it's predecessor. Even with all necessary attachments on it, it is not the same as before. Period. It does not do enough damage and high a slow TTK. It pales in comparison to both the Thunder Burst SMG and other assault rifles. It fails to be both SMG and AR when it is meant to be a combination of both.
The Reaper Sniper has once graced players inventories as the BEST sniper rifle in Fortnite's history. Once an S-Tier weapon, this powerful sniper rifle has fallen from that status due to Epic's tendency to humor plebeians in the community. It has caused this weapon to become absolutey useless for what it was made for. It does not make any sense at all for this weapon's bullets to have bullet drop before 20m. The projectory of the bullet is flaccid, like to an ED extent. Absolutely an ABSURD choice for long range encounters, period. However, this weapon can surpass even the Hand Cannon as a replacement for a shot gun, slap the proper attachments on play pretend that it is the KSG-12 or a slug round shotgun, then you got yourself an S-Tier shotgun that drops players in ONE shot.
Airbending is not a weapon per se, however it can be used as one to cause a death due to gravity or to prevent vehicles from traveling. It was amazing. I miss it. It was the best movement option that was ever released in the game.
D Tier - Thunderbolt of Zeus had potential to be amazing. It was pathetic compared to cluster clingers and its splash damage seems to be so random that it is unreliable. It is supposed to hit for 40, 40, then 140. Yet my final hit is hitting for 80. I do not understand. Prep time alone makes this weapon a death wish.
Firebending also lack a passive ability and Epic has failed to make this combat-based bending effective. Unless you are staying perfectly still, you will jump around like a maniac and miss all projectiles. Period. Upon release, it dealt barely any damage and Epic did not bother buffing the damage until near the event's conclusion. I should, according to the same broken logic, be able to bend lightning with extreme precision to deal 300+ damage, thus instantly knocking out anyone.
F Tier - The Frenzy Auto Shotgun was once an atrocity and at first got respectfully nerfed. Then Epic nerfed it again to be effective exclusively at less than point-blank range. Any further than 10 meters then you are surely dealing between 10-20 damage IF you are lucky.
The Bowcaster is a failure of what could have been a fun limited time weapon to use. Firstly it animates an AoE per shot regardless of charge and does NOT do splash damage when shot. When charged fully it deals decent damage but then the splash damage is negligible. I am a first hand witness to this bs weapon having splash damage be effective exclusively on PC. I was damaged from about a tile and a half away from the point of impact when at the Dumpen Haussen reboot van. I find it unnerving that some weapons have no polish on console. The Bowcaster when shot semiautomatic is not only supposed to have splash damage but it also fails to deal damage in general. This weapon suffers the Cobra DMR curse where if you aim directly at an enemy and HIT them, it does no damage or just goes right through them or it is just rubber bullets or blanks. As for the bowcaster, it is as if the laser goes directly through the enemy causing no damage whatsoever. This does not happen on PC. To my knowledge, Epic intentionally caters to this SMALL percentage of the community.
Darth Vader's lightsaber is just bad compared to the chain. The chain is in an entirely different class. The lightsaber lacks damage output and is trash at blocking waterbending. The guard is easily broken. Without a pool of lightsabers to choose from that have powers per color. The other powers would have been perfect counters to the chain of hades. Push em off or pull them down or towards. Amazing, is what it would have been.
Absurdity Tier - The E-11 is canonically accurate, how ironic. Nuff said. No wonder the Storm Troopers could never hit their shots.
The Harbinger SMG was supposed to fix Epic's failure last season, the Hyper SMG. Both are absurdities and should NEVER be picked up in any circumstance. You would fair better throwing grass at your enemies. The Harbinger SMG is outclassed in DPS by EVERY other light ammo weapon option, EVER, not just this season. It is BEYOND a failure which is why it takes its rightful place here. It is to NEVER be relied on. You will surely die faster by any other weapon in the game. Even at legendary rarity optimized for hipfire or ADS the gun is inaccurate regardless of the player using it. Both the E-11 and the Harbinger SMG are universally repulsive and fail to be a weapon (by definition) in the hands of any player.
Conclusion
These are my expert observations on what is, can be, and is not effective in the current META. Please feel free to debate these claims, if you can.
Thanks and God bless you all,
Chonk_Lord48

A few years ago I signed up for a bunch of FinTech investment apps which gave me some free shares after meeting certain criteria. Recently I have consolidated all my assets in Fidelity and I'm working on simplifying my portfolio.
My 401k, IRA, and HSA are all invest in total market mutual funds which is the only thing I plan on investing in from now on. The problem is I still own a few shares in over a dozen companies and I am wondering if I should just sell them.
They currently make-up a very small portion of my portfolio so I don't think it matters either way but I wanted to talk to some people about it before doing anything. I'm the first in my family to have any sort of financial stability so stuff like this stresses me out.
Here are the pros and cons I have come up with.
Pros of Selling:

• Simplifying My Portfolio. The main reason I want to sell them of is because owning nothing but mutual funds makes my portfolio easier to manage. The individual companies might complicate my tax returns and make my returns "nosier" due to their individual performance.
  
• Lock In Gains. Currently almost all of the stocks I own are up due to the excellent market performance, so if I was going to sell them I feel that this would be a good time. I'll make a few thousand dollars which I could put into my emergency fund or a mutual fund.
  
• Avoid Financial Complexities. I eventually want to do things like buy a house which I believe includes a thorough review of my finances. So in my mind owning only mutual funds will make such a review process simple and prevent possible issues for me in the future.
  

Cons of Selling:

• Missing Out On Growth. While it's possible the stocks will go down there is a chance they will go up and beat the market in the long run. As of right now they have all outpaced the market. I only own between 1-20 shares in each company so the gains would be small though.
  
• No More Dividends. The one thing I have enjoyed about owning these shares is getting a steady stream of dividends. They're small but consistent and since they're all long-term I pay no taxes on them which is great.
  
• Tax Headache. While I believe the sale of all these shares won't trigger any tax problems I worry since some of the companies are foreign (e.g. BABA) or in small-cap companies. I can list the companies if people think that information is relevant.
  

My conclusion is that it's best to just sell them and be done with it, but I would love to hear what people on here have to say.

This time every year (before covid) would be the ramping up of E3 hype. What surprises are coming? Who will win? Will Nintendo ever talk about the vitality sensor again?
Without e3 I am a bit nostalgic for the discourse that used to accompany early summer gaming, so I want to see if we can do a bit of it here.
The reality of gaming is this: ”Shrinkflation” started in gaming and we never talked about it. For years, we paid $60 for games that reused assets, gave us less, and delivered far less at launch than what we paid for in the past. It’s become so rare that a game out delivers its price tag that when it happens, it’s instantly in GOTY talks and the game awards wants at least 5 segments dedicated to it. Sadly, in the current state of the world and cost of living, gaming has become a luxury for some and the industry is having to scale in according with the lack of wallet share left to spend on non essentials. I don’t foresee how this gets any better because greed and the almighty drive control the highest level of governance and when it comes down to spending $10 on a battle pass or $10 on a load of bread and lunch meat, we can never fault someone for doing what they must. That example is exactly why gaming has become a luxury, what we used to get for $60 in a game is now $70 for a game plus $10-$30 in battle passes or dlc. What you used to get for $60 at the grocery story is likely double that now.
If E3 2024 was on roughly 6 weeks, the equation on my mind would be: What can the big 3 do to win your limited dollars? Here is my thoughts…
PlayStation - the console war is dead. Xbox has had to overspend to even remain relevant and that is because for years now Sony has delivered MUST play titles that appeal to a variety of gamers. Most are first party but some third party titles have helped, whether it’s Spiderman, Helldivers 2, Final Fantasy, or Ratchet and Clank, the Sony seal means that you are getting an experience worth your time invested. The decision to create the portal was Sony learning from their past hubris and acknowledging that catering to gamers needs and lifestyle is a winning strategy. What does Sony do next? Keep it up. Deliver more games, continues to win the critical argument over must play titles, and as media expands and Sony can branch out there, the chance to be the logical “in” point for new gamers is wide open for PlayStation.
Nintendo - the switch has been a success and with the successor around the corner, Nintendo has a chance to right a critical wrong. Add more power to the console and really embrace the 3rd party competition for gamers. From the Wii, even to the WiiU, to the switch, Nintendos winning strategy is innovate, excellent first party titles, and be the family console. These are all still critical for Nintendo to stake claim in the future but moving forward it’s time for Nintendo to evolve their first party. Pokémon is a classic but it’s time that pokemon takes the next step with polish, difficulty options, and replay value. Mario kart and Smash really provided best in class gaming on the switch and the next iterations of both should do no different. Even if smash is something like ultimate X with all content in one package, there are some lay ups for Nintendo to make sure year 1 of the new console has some clear wins. The real equation for Nintendo is whether they invest in online to stop being an after thought. Don’t twist my arm but if the first year of the new console ended with a rare remake of Diddy Kong Racing or BanjoKazooie3… well we can only wish so much
Xbox - rare is it that you could see so many public failures without heads rolling at the top of the corporation. Xbox really has to deliver on game in the next 3 years or they should no longer be in this depiction. Xbox has one future at this point and it’s game pass. Game pass as an option on all consoles and PCs should be the topic of discussion. It might be time to think of Xbox in the past tense and start calling it Microsoft games… because games and game pass are the only real options without some sort of world altering changes at Xbox. So what so they do? Simple, stop publishing shit game and using the excuse that it went on game pass so people didn’t technically buy it. Just like marvel, the only path forward is to find the level of quality with the releases from a past era and earn back the trust of gamers. If not, big box retailers just got ahead of the curve by removing physical media of Xbox because it should not exist much longer. Microsoft has a bottom line to protect plain and simple. If the winning strategy is for PlayStation users to be able to play Halo on game pass on their PS5, make sure it’s through game pass. We are past the point of asking when it gets better for Xbox and the real question might be does it get better?
Gone are the days of E3 hype, gone are the days of I am Reggie with Nintendo… now are the days of… I want to hear from you about things.
Cheers, have a good weekend all.

A few years ago I signed up for a bunch of FinTech investment apps which gave me some free shares after meeting certain criteria. Recently I have consolidated all my assets in Fidelity and I'm working on simplifying my portfolio.
My 401k, IRA, and HSA are all invest in total market mutual funds which is the only thing I plan on investing in from now on. The problem is I still own a few shares in over a dozen companies and I am wondering if I should just sell them. They currently make-up a very small portion of my portfolio so I don't think it matters either way but I wanted to talk to some people about it before doing anything. I'm the first in my family to have any sort of financial stability so stuff like this stresses me out.
Here are the pros and cons I have come up with.
Pros of Selling:

• Simplifying My Portfolio. The main reason I want to sell them of is because owning nothing but mutual funds makes my portfolio easier to manage. The individual companies might complicate my tax returns and make my returns "nosier" due to their individual performance.
  
• Lock In Gains. Currently almost all of the stocks I own are up due to the excellent market performance, so if I was going to sell them I feel that this would be a good time. I'll make a few thousand dollars which I could put into my emergency fund or a mutual fund.
  
• Avoid Financial Complexities. I eventually want to do things like buy a house which I believe includes a thorough review of my finances. So in my mind owning only mutual funds will make such a review process simple and prevent possible issues for me in the future.
  

Cons of Selling:

• Missing Out On Growth. While it's possible the stocks will go down there is a chance they will go up and beat the market in the long run. As of right now they have all outpaced the market. I only own between 1-20 shares in each company so the gains would be small though.
  
• No More Dividends. The one thing I have enjoyed about owning these shares is getting a steady stream of dividends. They're small but consistent and since they're all long-term I pay no taxes on them which is great.
  
• Tax Headache. While I believe the sale of all these shares won't trigger any tax problems I worry since some of the companies are foreign (e.g. BABA) or in small-cap companies. I can list the companies if people think that information is relevant.
  

My conclusion is that it's best to just sell them and be done with it, but I would love to hear what people on here have to say.

What can I say, I love little crazy tree's. I have taken this deck from Diamond 10 to Diamond 3 and am still slowly climbing. The addition of overgrown beanstalk has helped this deck immensely from my prior iteration. I am not a professional player or deck builder and as such this list is likely not perfectly refined but I have been happy with it's performance.
Obviously several early board clears can make matchups difficult but I have also had matches where I win by turn 4 or still manage to win by turn 9 drawing 22 out of my 30 cards. This deck has been able to consistently beat pain warlock by controlling the board and outracing them. I have also had success against spell mage, various druid builds, plague and buff DK, shopper demon Hunter, token Hunter secret finger, hand buff paladin and control warrior. I'd say the toughest matchups are Reno shaman, and flood paladin. I have yet to play against a Zarimi priest.
Mulligan: Look for blood Treant, slither spear, cactus construct and witch wood apple. Keeping first seedlings is best when you also have a 1 drop/blood Treant.
If you see stereo totem, gold panner, or nerubian egg off of cactus construct generally take them.
I have found using funnel cake to mana cheat is best on turn 2/3 with the coin and minions down or for later turns in order to build large boards to buff.
Noteable Synergies: Astral projectionist and miniaturized chia drake, zilliax, blood Treant, and conservator nymph. Bloomed Forest seedlings and overgrown beanstalk. Chia drake and the high roll draw into cultivation. Chia drake into funnel cakes for additional mana out of nowhere.

Treant

Class: Druid

Format: Standard

Year of the Pegasus

2x (1) Cactus Construct

2x (1) Forest Seedlings

2x (1) Funnel Cake

2x (1) Vicious Slitherspear

2x (1) Witchwood Apple

2x (2) Celestial Projectionist

2x (2) Mark of the Wild

2x (2) Power of the Wild

1x (2) Wandmaker

2x (3) Aerosoilizer

2x (3) Conservator Nymph

2x (3) Overgrown Beanstalk

2x (4) Chia Drake

2x (5) Blood Treant

2x (8) Cultivation

1x (0) Zilliax Deluxe 3000

1x (0) Zilliax Deluxe 3000

1x (3) Pylon Module

1x (5) Ticking Module

AAECAbSKAwLHpAbv5gYOh58E2Z8EzuQFoukFsPoFp/4F2f8F44AGtZoG2JwGrJ4Gh7EGydAG1/MGAAED87MGx6QG9rMGx6QG6d4Gx6QGAAA=

To use this deck, copy it to your clipboard and create a new deck in Hearthstone