Hi, not sure if this has been documented before but here I am, giving my 2 cents worth to everyone who needs this. I know it’s been really tough on everyone who has to go through this. It’s a really long post, so if you are short on time, just go straight to the heading in bold to find out what you’re looking for.
I don't know where everyone is from, but I am from Singapore and apparently, I can’t find any related posts by Singaporeans in any subreddits. If any fellow countryman needs this, there you go. For fellow netizens with Hip Dysplasia, there might be differences in the processes, but I suppose the recovery process is just about the same. Hope this helps, nonetheless!
Pre-diagnosis I have been a leisure runner in my late teens, and pretty much run about 5 to 10km regularly til mid-20s. It started with knee pain in a particular race, and the pain continued for a couple of years more. I had wanted to train for a half marathon, but I also wanted to ensure that I started my training right and pain-free. So I went to straight to a Sports Specialist Doctor in a Public Hospital and she diagnosed me with a Runner’s Knee (or formally known as Patellofemoral Pain Syndrome, PFPS) after looking through my x-ray, and my description of pain. She referred me to the Podiatrist and the Physiotherapist for gait correction and muscle strengthening. It was going on fine for a while, but I still couldn’t run pain-free. Then Covid came, and the appointments have to be suspended. But I was still doing my physio exercises and running about 2.5 to 5km when we were allowed to.
Diagnosis As more restrictions eased, I began training for speed, and that was when the pain started coming from the hip, and walking became strangely painful with a pinching sensation at the hip/groin area at this point. I sought help from a private physiotherapist to find out what happened. After a few sessions, he realized something was not right and suggested me to get a hip x-ray done. And so I did, at a Polyclinic, and the x-ray showed shallow acetabulum and I got referred (again) to a Sports Specialist to get a MRI done. And LHP with a labrum tear was the diagnosis. And to no surprise… I got referred to another Specialist again, who was affirmative that I need a LPAO and at the same time broke it to me that I have a RHP which will need a PAO too. If you need to know the timeline - I had the x-ray done at the end of 2022, MRI done on mid-2023, LPAO done at the start of 2024.
Pre-surgery Preparation (Work) Check with your doctor on the estimated rest period (mine’s 3months) and inform your boss about it. The surgery will most likely be about 5 hours max, hospital stay 5 days, and you will be on 2 crutches for 6-8 weeks, and another 1-2 weeks on 1 crutch to stabilize your walking. You might be able to resume work obligations if it’s a sedentary job or another 6 more weeks of home rest if your work requires much walking or manual labour. So it’s really important to work out with your boss and colleagues for a proper handover so that you can concentrate solely on recovery.
Pre-surgery Preparation (Hospital) There will be a blood test / some swab done 3 – 4 weeks prior to the surgery; the nurse will let you know. You will be under General Anesthesia (GA) during the surgery, so fasting is required a day before is required.
Do pack light for your hospital stay. Use a backpack for convenience. Clothes to wear after discharge + source of entertainment and communication is enough. You wouldn’t want to carry a lot of things home after discharge when you’re on 2 crutches.
Pre-surgery Preparation (Insurance + Hospital Wards) Do inform your Insurance Agent / Company about it so that they are aware. It may or may not be covered, so please get in touch with them as soon as you have the details.
[Singapore’s context] There will be a pre-admission appointment with the hospital staff about 3 weeks before the scheduled surgery, which the staff with share with you the cost of the different class wards. Basically, Class C (8-bedded) and Class B2 (6-bedded) wards are fully subsidized by the government. I can’t remember how much a Class B1 (4-bedded) ward costs, but probably about 10-15K SGD. Class A (1-bedded) is about 21-23K SGD. The staff with help you out with the Letter of Guarantee (LOG) from your Insurance Company and will let you know in about 2 weeks if the application for LOG is successful, if not you would have to prepare for the bills depending on your chosen ward (either Class A or Class B1). There is no need for LOG for Class C and Class B2 wards, since it’s fully government-subsidized. Medisave and MediShield/IPs will be used for all Class Wards (Note: IPs is only applicable to 30 years old and above). My insurance allows me to be in the Class A ward and the application for LOG was also successful, thankfully.
Pre-surgery Preparation (Personal) Since you will be on crutches, do arrange your house to accommodate that. A folding bedside table, a caddy trolley, a long-arm grabber, pillows are items that you can prepare beforehand. Do also ensure that your toilet is slip-free as well or restructure it in a way that is beneficial for you. I had to bathe sitting on the toilet bowl for the 1^st week as it is difficult to make it slip-free. It got better 2^nd week onwards when I was allowed a 30% weight-bearing on my operated side, so I could be in the showering area. You will be at home and ‘confine’ to the bed/chair most of the time, so it’d be good to have some form of entertainment at home. Nanoblocks, Colouring books, Wordsearch, Sudoku, Crosswords, Netflix, Disney+, Hbo, Reading, Crocheting, Journalling, Zoom with friends are some of the things that you can do / prepare before surgery. You may or may not have energy for them, but that’s ok, the main idea is to focus on resting and having a sound mind so that you won’t be discouraged / feel bored / unmotivated. For meal wise, it’d be good if your family can cook / buy food, if not do ensure that your budget allows you to get food delivery for 6-8 weeks. I got my meals from Grabfood. Do ensure that you have a good chair – not those that put your knees above your hips.
Day of surgery If you can, do arrive 5-10mins earlier to settle in after registration.
[Singapore’s context] Do note that the staff who registers you in will ask you for the person to contact after the surgery. It’d be a text message to inform the person on the end of your surgery and which ward you will be in. You will need to sign the LOG letter (if any) and proceed to take your height and weight at the self-administered machine. Wait and follow any instructions by the nurse. You will be asked to change into the hospital gown and the nurses will ask you more questions, just answer them accordingly. They will also help to keep your belongings in their storage and will deliver to your ward at their timeslot after your surgery.
Process of surgery The Anesthesiology team will introduce themselves to you and go through the pain management methods. They asked what method (they mentioned 3, but I only remembered what I had) I preferred, and I told them to go ahead with what they think was good for me. Epidural, it was. And so, I got pricked with needles and whatnots and they finally brought me into the operating room. I didn’t realize the room was so big and cold and there were many doctors and nurses around. They did their thing, and I was just trying not to feel awkward with so many people looking at my bareback and being in a very vulnerable state. It’s a little pricky and painful at some point. Do let them know if you’re too cold, they have this hot air thing that can warm you up. They will also insert a urine catheter for you to help with the bladder movements. I was quickly under General Anesthesia (GA) with a breathing mouthpiece (the Anesthesiologists will direct you on what to do). I woke up after the surgery with a very dry throat and asked if I could have some water. They gave me a tiny vial of water, just about enough to soothe my throat. I guess it was also caused I was under GA and couldn’t be given much for my stomach too. I was quite aware of what was going on though I was still a little sleepy. I had to be brought to the High Dependency Ward (HDW) due to low blood pressure.
After surgery (in HDW) I kept wanting to drink water but that also caused me to vomit out water and had no appetite for dinner. Nausea and vomiting are just some side effects of GA. (I remembered being disappointed that I couldn’t have the watermelon, I had wanted to eat that, but I knew I couldn’t stomach it) And little did I realize that was the last time I saw a watermelon during meal times (damn the side effects). I was also quite weak on my operated left side, I was not in that much of a pain, just some discomfort. I was given a self-administered morphine device too, there is this button that I can press to administer morphine into my system at regular interval, the device has some safety feature which helps to stop people from abusing it) Used it once after I had to be flipped over to be wiped clean by the nurse (at this time, I had given up on trying to maintain my dignity, though the nurses were quite humane about it, if you know what I mean) But I was also trying not to use the morphine at all cos it gave me more side effects like drowsiness and an even lower blood pressure). Thankfully I had a good Pain Team (that’s what they call themselves), which helped to lower the dosage after they realized I was not using it that much and I was still very drowsy (I fell asleep halfway unknowingly after talking to people), and eventually I was off it. I was taken for an x-ray after the nurse ascertained that my blood pressure was normal (since I had the catheter, I just sipped water without a care in the world, to help raise my blood pressure). And I administered the morphine once after they flipped me over for the x-ray (it was bloody hell painful and it took a lot of strength). Probably in a day or 2, the doctors decided to remove my epidural needle and I was finally free of it. The next thing to get rid of was the catheter. I had a love-hate relationship with it. I need to be able to pass motion to get rid of it, which I did after an arduous process. Constipation is a side effect of not moving around. Your stool will most definitely be a Type 1 under the Bristol Stool Chart but it will be back to normal in a few days or so. I did a little cheer when I finally pooped.
My physiotherapist came and pushed me to move around. The first step coming down from the bed was the hardest due to gravitational pull. My muscles needed to be woken up after lying down for 48 hours or more. I got transferred to General Ward (GW) soon after.
After surgery (GW) I had some bed exercises to help to wake up the muscles and I was using the walker to move around. It was tough doing the bed exercises, but they have to be done. I was also able to bath independently by sitting down on the bathing chair in the bathing area of the toilet. I still needed assistance to wear my pyjamas pants. So unfortunately, the nurse still had to be around when I bathed for safety purposes since I was a fall-risk patient.
At this time, I was trying to get out of bed and be in the chair and also use the walker more to help with moving around and getting the muscles up and running. I had 2 more physio sessions with the crutches. Using the walker frequently helped with the use of crutches. (You will know what I meant when you have tried both out. You can push yourself but please do not force it if you are not strong enough yet.) My doctors have cleared me for discharge, I just need my physiotherapist to clear me too (they have to be sure that I can use the crutches properly and safely and also complete simple daily adaptive skills). Finally, I got cleared for discharge. I got the medication, and it was a cashless and fuss-free stay/process for me. I stayed in the hospital for 7 days (3.5 days in HDW, 3.5 days in GW). Remember to get your crutches before leaving the hospital.
Home rest 1st Week I must say, it’s really liberating to be at home, though it’s really a chore to move around. I did my physio exercises about 3x a day and just be a sloth. I was still very tired, but it was difficult to sleep. I’m usually a side sleeper, but I had to sleep on my back for 6 weeks, at least. My doctors said that I could sleep on my unoperated side, but it can be achy.
Home rest 2nd Week Things are looking up a little more since I could place a 30% weight on my left. I could enter the showering area now, just be careful not to overload the operated side. 2 crutches are still a must to prevent any overloading of weight to help with the recovery. Protein and calcium-rich food are your best friend. Again, do your physio exercises regularly. I still do mine 3x a day.
Home rest 7th Week Finally, I got to put full weight on my operated side. Happily, I tried to ditch BOTH my crutches, please do not be like me! Ease into walking slowly. Use 1 crutch to help you with the gravity pull as you put 100% weight on both legs. It is also possible to ditch the crutch and try walking on very short distances, do take care of your walking form. If you limp badly, please use 1 crutch and practice walking. I did try stairs and use the railings if necessary. I managed to ditch the crutches by Week 8. Physio continues, if you have access to the gym, please go ahead, slowly. I am sleeping both on my back and on my unoperated side now.
Home rest 13th Week Not sure if things are still looking good, but my knees kinda hurt, and that’d be another story for another day. I am cleared to resume work, though I still got to be careful with the walking and all.
Week 14 – Week 18 (current) I think since I am walking a lot more, I am limping a little, but not enough for a need to bring back the crutch. It got more achy when I’m sleeping on my unoperated side and still a little discomfort if I try to sleep on my operated side. My operated side is still weak and achy when I walk or sit or lie down. I am still doing my physio, though not 3x a day now.
I am not too sure how I will progress but that’s my journey thus far. Happy to share here and to answer any questions you may have.
Edit: Formatting

My experience as a patient at Cherry Hill Women’s Center NJ with a D&E abortion at 13w6d pregnant.
TLDR; very very kind staff, clean environment, professional clinic setup, 4 hour process, overall great experience as a patient.
My backstory: I’m over 30, married for over 10 years and have never had a pregnancy before. I have always been told by my doctors that i would never be able to get pregnant. I’m on multiple medications that can cause severe birth defects and i was not aware that i was pregnant until i was 12w5d. I had no idea how far along i may have been because i didn’t note any pregnancy symptoms except for tender nipples and vomiting a week prior to taking a test. I have always had a very inconsistent period and had frequent spotting on a regular basis. I had an US done & measured at 13w0days & was able to schedule this procedure for 6 days later so this abortion was done at 13w6days.
Emotionally this was very hard for me. I reconciled the fact that i would never be pregnant as a very young teenager. My husband and I decided not to pursue having children at the very beginning of our relationship and he still does not want to be a father. Initially I was very afraid to tell him that i was pregnant because i was afraid that him knowing i was pregnant would change his feelings about having children and that he would hate me for taking this away from him. I’m very fortunate in that he was resolute in his decision to not have children and he’s been absolutely incredible through this whole process. He said he would support me if i wanted to keep it but my medical reasons for wanting to terminate were valid and he was in full agreement that life is hard enough and intentionally bringing a deformed/disabled child into the world when life is already so hard just wasn’t the choice for us. He has been my absolute rock through all of this.
I did a lot of research prior to my appointment and I’m not going to lie, there are a lot of bad reviews on google that had me extremely nervous, making me feel like i was going to be walking into a back alley abortion and i was terrified that i wouldn’t be able to bring my husband with me for this whole experience. There is so much anti abortion propaganda out there and there are a lot of videos designed to make you feel like you are a bad person for “murdering babies” and trying to scare you out of going forward with the procedure, but if this procedure is the right decision for you, this place is the right choice to go to. Everyone is kind and professional and understanding. Not once was i made to feel like i was a bad person or making the wrong decision. I was met with understanding and support every step of the way. It is completely normal to be scared or emotional going into this. I have been a healthcare professional for over 10 years and am very familiar with preop/post op procedures and patient care and i was still very scared going into this appointment.
Scheduling experience: I used their online appointment request tool on a Sunday and Monday afternoon i got a text with a link for a hipaa compliant chat. I chatted with a very nice lady who was able to schedule me for the following Saturday. I wasn’t given any information other than to not eat or drink anything after midnight the night before and to be at the clinic at 8am Saturday. No one called, texted, or emailed any further instructions after that chat communication.
This is where my feedback for them to improve comes in. They really need to make it clear what to expect the day of the appointment: that we will not be able to have a support person come in with us because only the patients can be in the waiting room for safety purposes. They should be highlighting the process of the day with the multiple back and forth trips from the waiting room to the back and the different steps to expect. It would have been nice to know i would do paper work then wait then US and blood and vitals then wait then nurse for the history & going over the procedure then wait then the payment then wait then come to the back for preop and talk to the doctor then wait in preop then the operative area for the procedure then what to expect for the post op experience.
Clinic experience: Upon arriving to the clinic, the protesters on the front sidewalk were SO very nice to make the driveway more visible. -___- Unfortunately nothing can be done to remove them from a public walkway. The security guard comes to the door when you pull in to ensure you arrive inside safely. Please don’t let them deter you, don’t even look at them or acknowledge them.
I was greeted by the very kind security guard who had my escort sign me in and then i entered the office by myself.
The receptionist was very kind and provided me with my paperwork to fill out. The office was clean and quiet. After about 45 minutes i was taken back by a very kind employee (sweetest kindest human being ever with such a calming energy) who did my ultrasound and vital signs and did a finger stick to check my hemoglobin level and rH factor of my blood. I was then taken back to the waiting room for the next step.
30 minutes later i was taken back to speak with the nurse to go over my health history, medications, birth control options, and the procedure. The financial planner then came in and took my payment (we paid cash $750 for the sedated D&E, $65 for the depo shot we are fortunate to have the income to cover the costs but they do offer financial assistance ask the scheduler about it if you need it)& i was escorted back to the waiting room.
20 minutes later i was taken back by the first employee (the literal angel on earth, so so kind) who did my ultrasound earlier to talk with the Dr, who was also very nice, and i was given cytotec to place between my gums and cheeks to soften my cervix and prepare me for the procedure. I was then taken to the preop/postop area to put a gown cap and booties on, they let you keep your own socks on and it’s chilly in there so i recommend doing it. They put me in a recliner chair with a blanket and then about an hour after getting the cytotec, the nurse started an iv & gave me zofran since i was feeling nauseous. At this point i was having weird stretching bloating feelings in my uterus area with moderate to strong cramps, which i assume was the cytotec softening everything & dilating my cervix. I noted the post op nurses were very kind to the patients the whole time and met the loopy antics of the other women waking up from sedation with good humor and kindness.
The operative nurses wheeled me back to the procedure room in the recliner chair I was in and I was taken in to the procedure room and met the anesthetist and operative nurses. They helped me get situated on the procedure table and then the next thing i remembered was waking up in my recliner chair in the preop/post op area. They took me back at 10:45 and i woke up in the post op area at 11:12.
The post op nurse said i stood and sat in the chair on my own from the table to in the operative area as they don’t lift anyone there but i don’t remember anything between being positioned on the procedure table before the procedure and waking up in the chair in post op. The post op nurse gave me the depo provera shot i previously decided to take with the first nurse and helped me to the bathroom to get changed back into my clothes.
I felt moderate cramping, similar to period cramps on a heavy flow day, and had a good amount of bleeding and small clots present in the toilet. I came prepared and brought female pull-ups and pads so i put those on. My husband arrived to pick me up and the post op nurse gave me a 1x dose of antibiotics to prevent infections and went over discharge education. They escorted me out to the car and i was on my way home. I took 800mg Motrin as soon as i got in the car.
They had the security guard still at the front door and then a clinic escort in the parking lot keeping the protesters off the property and on the sidewalk.
I arrived for my 8:00 appointment at 7:30 and was in the car on my way home by 11:30. By the time we got close to our home 45 minutes later the Motrin had me feeling well enough to have a meal with my husband at the local diner.
It’s now 8 hours after we got home and i feel mild cramping after taking another dose of 800 mg Motrin. I would say the discharge is similar to a heavy flow day with small clots. My lower abdomen is visibly bloated but not very tender to the touch. (Until my husband wasn’t thinking and set Wawa bags with a half gallon of milk in them on my lap/lower abdomen -_-) I have a weighted heating pad and I’ve had it laying across my abdomen since i got home and it’s been so helpful for the mild to moderate discomfort I’ve had.
Timeline of events:
0730 arrived, security very nice, receptionist very nice 0815- taken back for US, VS, finger stick. Ultrasound tech very nice. 0845- nurse - history, procedure review, birth control planning. very nice and informative 0900- financial counselor very nice 0920- brought back by first US tech to see the Dr, cytotec inserted in cheeks 0930 changed into gown put in preop recliner chair, curtain dividers 1000- preop nurses very kind, playing fun music, joking with patients during their postop grogginess 1030- iv inserted 1045- took back to the procedure room 1112- procedure done, in recovery, got depo shot, iv taken out, got dressed 1130- discharge education and went home. Moderate period like cramping.
Recommendations: - ask as many questions as you need to feel comfortable, they will take the time to answer them - It’s normal to be nervous but you don’t need to be afraid to come here. Everyone was kind, understanding, and professional there. - Your decision is the right decision. Period. No one else gets to make it for you. - It doesn’t matter if you are young or older, single or married, have no children or already have 10 children, this decision is yours and your rights - Hydrate well the night before. I made it a point to drink several liquid IV’s late the night before knowing i couldn’t have anything to eat or drink after midnight. It will be very hard for the nurses to get an IV in your vein if you are very dehydrated, the more you drink the night before, the better your veins will be. - Bring your own pads or even female pull ups whatever you prefer. They do supply you pads but they’re the big huge thick ones that most people hate. - Have Motrin ready to take as soon as you’re done. - Get a heating pad for afterwards it really is soothing. - Walk as much as you can, it helps with the pain and swelling and helps get the clots out. - Firmly massage over your uterus area it will help get the clots out and help your uterus shrink back down to size faster. - If your BMI is over 40 they won’t be able to do an asleep abortion there since they don’t have advanced airway management there. You’re a higher risk of respiratory depression during sedation when you’re overweight. I wasn’t aware of this until i talked with the history nurse. Luckily i was right at 40 and the anesthetist cleared me. - If you need to be sedated they will make you have someone sign you in and sign you out. But they can’t come inside and wait with you. You cannot drive yourself. - They’re going to tell you not to put anything in your vagina for 1 week post op- no tampons, menstrual cups, no sex, nothing internally placed. Also no swimming or sitting in a bathtub for a week. This is all to prevent infection. You want the drainage to drain and not build up bacteria inside you. - You are going to be more fertile after the procedure. It can take 4 weeks to get your period again, you can get pregnant before you have a period, use birth control! They don’t do IUD insertions there so consider getting birth control pills or the depo shot while you’re there.

Hi- just came back from Iceland two weeks ago (May 2024). My 19 year old son is ANA to peanuts and treenuts (he carries epis). He does not have an airborne allergy. We had a wonderful time – it’s such an amazing country. Here are some of my comments for you families with nut allergies planning a trip to Iceland. I'm posting this lengthy missive because I couldn't find any firsthand information before we went.

1. Strongly consider full travel insurance. We normally don’t get it, but we did for Iceland as they don’t have that many 24/7 hospitals once you are outside of Reykjavik and we were told the fastest transport might be medical helicopter rather than road ambulance. Basically, we went, knowing that if we had to epi him and then head to a hospital, it might be a helicopter ride, so we took full travel insurance.
2. Wifi reception was fantastic for us everywhere between Reykjavik and Jokulsarlon glacier lagoon (that’s as east as we went). We paid for the Wi-Fi gadget in the car; it was useful because it is a small device and we could bring it in with us to grocery stores to use the google translate app.
3. Here’s some places we ate:

Reykjavik: Icelandic Street Food. Delicious soup in bowls with free refills. They said they had no nuts and everything was made by them. (not sure about their waffles- we didn’t have any). Food was simple and delicious.
Vik : Black Crust Pizzeria. Delicious and friendly!!! While the restaurant did have nuts (as indicated in the menu), we felt comfortable with their cross contamination procedures – as the cashews and pesto were kept separate. I would have come here the next night but we just ended up having grocery store sandwiches.
Fosshotel Glacier Lagoon (about half an hour west of Jokulsarlon) – tons of nuts on the dinner menu at the lovely hotel restaurant so I wasn’t sure my son would be able to eat anything (we did have sandwiches as a backup plan) but the restaurant manager on duty (Jolanta?) and the waiter and the chef were fantastic and very open and honest with what they could or couldn’t do and what my son could or couldn’t eat. For example, instead of mashed potatoes, which they thought might be cross contaminated, they made him roasted potatoes. They told us not to have dessert (which he never does in the US either at restaurants), instead but offered a fruit plate. He ended up having a simple, but delicious, steak and potato meal. They did and said all the right things that made my allergy-brain-mom satisfied, including warning us the meal might take longer than normal since they would be extra careful (which of course, we were fine with). They actually came back twice to explain the substitutions, as they were going along. He didn’t eat at the amazing buffet next day, because buffets are practically never safe, but he had his own cereal and they gave him milk. He is very used to not being able to eat buffets, even at home, so it wasn’t an issue.
Hveragerdi -The food hall at The Greenhouse didn’t work for our needs- so many of the stalls had nuts in open containers. The fish & chip shop there even said they weren’t comfortable serving us (they weren’t being rude at all, just honest, which I appreciated) as they couldn’t prevent cross-contamination. We went across the street to Ölverk Pizza and Brewery and we felt very comfortable with their cross-contamination procedures (a few of their pizzas had nuts). Delicious, and bonus- so was the beer. They were incredibly friendly too.
Gas station/grocery store sandwiches- These were well labeled- they tasted nice- kind of like Pret-a-Manger. Check your allergens at https://somi.is/en/products/ - for example, my son could have the ham and cheese, but not the chicken/bacon/lettuce/tomato. There are several other brands as well, not just SOMI. We did see one container the last day that said “may contain”. [None of the others did say that, but did have items like Wheat, dairy, labeled in bold as an allergen. We felt safe with the sandwiches. And Skyr yogurt was delicious and he could have that (stuck with the vanilla or plain one in general) Gæti innihaldið snefil af sesamfræjum og hnetum = May contain traces of sesame seeds and nuts. We used the Google Translate app in the grocery stores as not everything was in English.
Hot dogs: In Reykjavic and Vik, son also had the famous Icelandic hotdogs as we were told no nuts or nut oil. Very tasty and contains lamb!
We ordered allergy-card pdfs from Allergy Eats in Icelandic. Everyone in Iceland spoke perfect english but we didn't want nuances about nuts to be an issue. They came in handy a few times. I will mention a lot of the staff we met spoke Russian (and also english), not Icelandic. We often used the Google Translate app on our phones.
4) We checked one bag and brought our own cereal from home for our son and tons of safe granola/protein bars from home and baked goods I made as of course none of the bakeries were safe for him. We brought a jar of sun butter and grape jelly in our suitcase. We bought ham and cheese and butter and bread and chips/crisps from the grocery stores to make sandwiches. We didn’t need the sun butter until the end of the trip but I was glad I had it as a backup. We used google translate often as not all the items had English ingredients. We did find a safe simple white bread in all the grocery stores. (Which was a treat for my son as I never buy white bread at home!). I did also bring a box of pasta from home which we used at a (lovely) guesthouse in Hella – Loa’s Nest which had communal kitchen facilities.
5) During our trip, he ate nothing that said “may contain”, to be on the safe side (we also try to avoid that at home, but perhaps not as rigorously).
6) While traditional Icelandic food doesn’t have nuts, I saw more nuts on the menu in Iceland than I am used to seeing. Unfortunately for us, we saw that many, many restaurants and food halls had open containers of nuts on their food prep counters (and therefore no real way to prevent cross contamination). We did not eat those places when we saw that. I should add that most nuts we saw were treenuts, not peanuts, so if you only have a peanut allergy, it will be easier for you I think.
7) Everywhere we stayed either had a mini kitchen, or a mini fridge or access to a fridge (Reykjavic Residence Hotel (2 nights), Loa’s Nest (1 night), Black Beach Suites (2 nights), Fosshotel Glacier Lagoon (1 night), The Greehouse (1 night) We brought a small softsided lunch bag to keep things cool between hotels. One point I should make is that nowhere we stayed had access to a freezer (the mini fridges didn’t have a freezer) and neither did the Airbnbs. I suspect if I had actually needed a freezer, I could have asked the front desk or owners of the guesthouses but we were fine without.
8) We flew Icelandair. They don’t serve items with peanuts on board but they do serve treenuts. They did make an announcement asking people not to eat items with peanuts. They were friendly. They did let us pre-board to wipe down the seats. Our flight was just 5 hours from Boston to Reyjkavik direct so just brought his own sandwiches/snacks. I would fly them again.
We loved Iceland and had an amazing time. None of this is meant to be preventative, just informative.

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Previous Update
So, it's been about 7 months since my last update and I thought one was well overdue! I actually intended on sitting down and writing one out a few months ago, but life got in the way. A lot has happened, most of it good, some of it not. I'm sure you can guess what or who the reason for the not good moments were.
Mom was silent through Lydia's birthday in October, but made a huge song and dance for Erin's in November. None of us make it a habit to check her social media accounts, and honestly we'd have blocked her if it weren't for Lexie, but Leo sent a screenshot in the group chat about a post she'd made. The post essentially painted Erin as the perfect child, her precious angel, and said how she'd always be proud of her. She didn't even mention Lydia on her page at all during her birthday, but I can't say I'm surprised.
Thanksgiving was different, but fun. We all drove out to our paternal grandparents' place a few hours away to spend it with them. Technically, it was supposed to be an in-law year, since Jade and I tend to switch who we spend it with so that neither one of our families were being left out, but she suggested we switch it up this year so that I could be with my siblings on the first big holiday since the fallout. My in-laws are great people and have been really supportive throughout all of this, and I'm really grateful for them, too. Mom didn't reach out to us on the day, but I could tell she was fuming. It didn't help that she was being asked questions after Lydia posted a Thanksgiving day photo that didn't include her or Erin.
In December, she started a group chat with all of us and Dad essentially telling us it was time to stop this 'petty drama' and focus on family. But none of us are stupid. We all know she wanted to show off her picture perfect family over Christmas, and how could she do that when all but two of her children can't stand to be near her? Erin was in the group, but didn't speak up, which was odd for her, but none of us really thought much of it at the time. Dad said he'd swing by to see Lexie, but he had no interest in spending Christmas with her until she was ready to admit to the pain they'd caused us. A week later, my birthday also went ignored by her, but that was fine. It only proved that she had no intention of admitting she was the bad guy.
She got more desperate as Christmas drew closer. The messages and phone calls started up again, but I could ignore those for the most part. What I couldn't ignore was coming home from work to find her on my doorstep. She told me she'd been waiting for ages, like I was expecting her visit and had done it intentionally... which, honestly, I probably would have given the state of our relationship. I'm just grateful my family wasn't home—Jade was on her way back from work herself, and our son with her parents. I didn't want to invite her inside, but honestly given how desperate she looked, I also didn't want to deal with her where my neighbors could see.
This woman told me that Christmas was about family and forgiveness. She told me I was taking it too far by keeping her grandson away from her, and how confused he must be without her. She said it like I was using my son to punish her. I told her it was better this way, because we all knew what'd happen if Erin had a child someday. My son would be pushed to the side like the rest of us were, and I didn't want that for him. She said I was being ridiculous and once again used that line, I love you all equally.
I asked her to leave, because nothing was changing my stance, and I wasn't going to be spending Christmas with her. She got angry. She started yelling, and while I want to say I kept my composure, I didn't. I started yelling too. The more I yelled, the more worked up I got, to the point that I started shedding tears. Reddit, this was years of hurt rushing to the surface. I don't think I will ever understand how she can claim to love us all equally but tell her crying son to stop being so dramatic. She left only when Jade came back and saw the state I was in. Jade's little but fierce and would do anything for me and my son, and I swear my mom left terrified of her that day.
The social media posts picked up again. She played victim, shared posts about children not respecting the sacrifices mothers make for them and stuff like that. She posted how we didn't appreciate all that she'd done for us, but we all ignored it. We did our own Christmas. Jade, our son, and I visited the in-laws on Christmas morning, watched our son and nieces open their presents there, and then went over to Lydia's house. She offered to host us all this year. Dad took his place in the kitchen, joined by his assistant chefs Josh and Lydia's husband.
We didn't see our Mom or Erin until January. Lexie turned 5, so there was a party, and we weren't about to punish our sister for the actions of the Demon that birthed us. So we went. There were some questions, but people didn't push when it was obvious that none of us wanted to get into it. Mom acted like everything was fine, but Erin stayed away from us. At the end of the party, as we were helping clean up, Mom said it was good that we were finally putting things behind us. Lydia told her the only thing we were putting behind us was her. That started her off again, but she quickly realized she was outnumbered and headed inside. That was when Erin approached us with her husband. Honestly, I was expecting her to tell us to go easy on our mom or something, but instead she apologized. She said she'd been doing a lot of thinking since all of this started, and she realized that treated us badly her whole life, and part of that was influenced by the way our parents treated her. She told us she didn't expect us to forgive her, but that she just wanted to tell us that she was sorry. We left a little while later.
There was silence at the end of January and in February for Leo and Nadia's birthdays, but we were expecting that. Our days never did matter to her, after all.
I got married in April without my mom present. It was hands down one of the best days of my life, second only to the birth of my son. Jade and I were surrounded by the people we cared about most and who cared about us in return. I had both of my brothers as my best men, Nadia and Lydia were bridesmaids, too. It was better than anything I could've imagined. Honestly, I'm still blown away by the fact I now get to call Jade my wife. It's been amazing. But, I'm sure you're all wondering how my mother handled this, and I can tell you plainly that she did not handle it well.
Truthfully, when we sent out invitations, part of me hoped that the news just... wouldn't get back to her? I hoped it'd go smoothly enough that I wouldn't actually have to talk to her about this decision, but of course that'd be too easy. She showed up a few days later banging on my door, demanding I talk to her. I went out. I didn't let her in, despite knowing that the neighbors could see us, and that was solely because I didn't want her inside my home where my son was. I didn't want her scaring him like she was undoubtedly doing. She demanded to know what I was playing at, how I could be so cruel, how I could exclude her from such a special day. I told her plainly that my wedding was a day for me to celebrate with my close loved ones, and she wasn't someone I considered close or a loved one anymore. She'd made her bed, she had to lie in it.
Part of me worried that she'd turn up at my wedding. She came by the house a few more times, but stopped when I threatened to call the cops. I didn't do it sooner because I guess I'm soft at heart and didn't want to see my mom in any trouble, but every time she showed up to spew some bullshit about me being a terrible son for doing this to her, it drained me. There were social media posts, of course. I had relatives reaching out to me to tell me I should invite her, what kind of son am I, etc., but they stopped when I told them I'd take back their invites, too. No one mentioned her at the wedding, and she didn't try showing up. She did, however, try to prevent Lexie from being a flower girl, like I promised, but Dad quickly nipped that in the bud.
Which takes me to the next point, my parents are officially over. Dad sent her divorce papers sometime in February, and I don't think he's looking back at all. This is something that also shocks me, because this time last year, he was much the same as she was. He was someone who cared more about Erin than any of us, someone who brushed off our achievements if they somehow interfered with hers, and now he was an advocate for us. Every time Mom posted something on social media belittling us, he responded with a post uplifting us.
I never imagined having such a good relationship with my dad, but here we are. We helped him move into his own place back in March. He's a new man, honestly. He's worked out a 50/50 custody agreement for Lexie, because as much as he'd be happy to have full custody, he wants to believe that she can change like he did. He has said, however, that if he catches even the slightest hint of Lexie being mistreated like we were, he'd be filing for it.
In the case of my siblings, life has been going good for them, too. Leo got a raise at work and has adopted a dog that my son is obsessed with—to the point that I think we may need to get a dog ourselves, haha. Josh and his partner are going strong. He fits right into our family, and I couldn't be happier for Josh. He's found someone that really cares about him, and I can tell he's in love. Maybe there will be wedding bells there soon? Lexie... well, Lexie's 5 so there's not really much going on in her life. I think she recently made my dad join her tea party.
QUICK EDIT TO ADD: Lexie is obviously aware that things have changed. She's naturally confused about it all. Things changed so much in the space of a year, and I can't imagine what it was like for her living with our parents when Mom was angry all of the time. We've let her know that we'll always be there for her and that we're safe spaces if she needs to talk about her feelings or if she has any questions to ask. We don't want this affecting her more than it already has. Josh is the one who's made headway on that. He works in childcare and has experience in things like this. Dad is thinking about setting up therapy for her.
But I'm sure you're all wondering about Nadia and Erin. Nadia's great. She's honestly thriving. I think being away from our mom, Erin, and the pressures at home has really helped her find herself as a person. She's made new friends, excelling in class, and she's just... an overall happier person, which is all I care about. She's happy, I'm happy. She's been invited to move in with my dad, now that he has his own place and enough room for her and Lexie, but she hasn't decided on an answer yet. She's more than welcome to stay here if she wants, but I know that she also wants to be closer with our dad. I'll support her no matter what, and I've told her that she can try it with dad if she wants, and she can come back if it's too weird for her.
Erin is another story. We are no longer NC with her, but we are LC. After her apology at Lexie's party, Leo reached out to see if it was genuine. All of us were pretty stuck on what to do, to be honest. Erin was never someone to bow her head and apologize, but how could we know if it was genuine and not a ploy to get us to forgive our mom or something? Erin asked to speak with us in person when Leo reached out to her, and we agreed because we were curious to see how it'd go. We also agreed that if she tried anything, we would be leaving immediately and would block her again.
The meeting happened in mid-January, between Lexie and Leo's birthdays. We met at her place. Erin looked like a nervous wreck, like she hadn't slept all night, and honestly it was really weird because she's normally so put together? Like even when she was throwing tantrums, she looked better than this. We sat down and she started off by apologizing to us again, she said that she was needlessly cruel and unfair to us, especially Nadia, and even apologized for trying to ruin her graduation. She said when we all backed out of our wedding, she was confused and hurt because none of us had said no to her before. She thought we were closer than that, but realized now that it was one-sided. She thought we were close and we just wanted to be as far away from her as possible.
We asked our questions and she answered every one. 'Why did you think we were close?' Because she'd been acting this way since childhood, partially encouraged by our parents' treatment of us vs her, and assumed that since none of us said anything about it, we were fine with it. 'Did you ever feel sorry?' She didn't, before this whole fiasco. It was normal for her to be the center of attention. Everything was always about her, and she was trying to unlearn that. 'Why now?' It came down to her husband. He'd tried talking to her a few times about her treamtent of us, but she never saw an issue with it since, well, we never made it an issue before. He didn't like that response, but he loved her and she was a lot kinder outside of our family unit, so he hoped that if he kept talking to her about it, she'd eventually stop. They fought when she announced their engagement on Lydia's anniversary and they fought again when she booked their party on Nadia's birthday. He couldn't understand how she could be so cruel to her family, and she told him that he didn't understand our family dynamic, and that we were cool with it. The stuff with Nadia's graduation damn near ruined their relationship, and I don't know how she convinced him to stay with her, because George admitted he was very close to walking out the door.
She said she was on our mom's side for a while because she really did think we were just acting out. We'd never been like this before, so why were we like this now? She didn't get why we were ignoring her, why we'd suddenly cut her off, and admittedly had a break down over it. George told her we'd likely been carrying that hurt and bitterness with us for years. She said that she knew she was a brat, but didn't realize how bad she really was until George and our dad laid it all out for her. That's why she told mom to leave us be, so that we could have peace from it all, and it turns out Dad wasn't the only one bearing the brunt of Mom's anger. She was constantly blasting Erin's phone, turning up at her place, dragging our names through the mud. It got worse when Dad moved out, and suddenly Erin was all she had in the world. Mom called us awful names that Erin (thankfully) didn't repeat. Mom told Erin that she was 'all she had' now.
George vouched for how bad our Mom was, said he'd come home from work often to find Erin staring at a ringing phone. She didn't want to answer but knew if she didn't eventually then Mom would turn up at her house. I know Erin was... awful to us ever since she was born, but it really hurt seeing her like this. I think she herself was a victim of our mom's behaviour, albeit in a drastically different way. She said she wanted to reach out to us sooner, but knew we probably didn't want to speak to her. She just couldn't help herself when she saw us at Lexie's party and needed to apologize.
We parted ways conflicted. One on hand, Erin had always been selfish. She'd been manipulative and downright mean, she always found a way to overshadow us at every turn, at every achievement. Nadia's graduation was proof of that. On the other hand, she looked tired. She looked worn and she looked guilty and I didn't want to believe that was an act put on for the sake of getting us to forgive her and then our mother. None of us were sure how to proceed, but then Jade suggested that we invite her to the wedding. Or, rather, we invite her to the reception, after everyone's eaten. We had a few friends coming at that time, too, who couldn't attend the wedding itself due to inescapable enagements. That way, if Erin did try to bring our mom, security would catch it and we'd know for certain whether or not Erin had turned a new leaf.
Reddit, Erin attended the reception. She didn't bring our mom, didn't even mention her. She and George arrived, and Erin cried as she congratulated me. She told Jade she looked beautiful, and hugged my son. At some point, she took Nadia aside, and when they came back, they were both a litle teary eyed. Nadia later told me that Erin wanted to apologize to her properly, one to one, and didn't know if she'd get another opportunity to do so. George thanked me for giving Erin a chance. He told me that she really could be a warm, kind-hearted person. I told him I hoped to meet that version of her some day. And I mean it. If Erin is truly as warm and kind and wonderful as George believes her to be, then I want nothing more than to meet that version of my sister.
Now, you may be wondering, OP, you forgot to mention Lydia when talking about your siblings! That was on purpose. You see, it's a good thing Dad moved out of her spare room. She's going to need that space in a few months, and she's not the only one. I knew Lydia was pregnant because she sat both me and Jade down to tell us she was pregnant and worried about her bridesmaid dress, even offered to step down if it was a problem. We, of course, told her not to be ridiculous and that we'd cover the cost of any alterations needed.
In the lead up to the wedding, Jade told me that she planned on having Lydia make an announcement during the speeches. I foolishly assumed that Lydia was going to announce her pregnancy to our extended family, and while I was a little hesitant, I agreed since Jade wanted this—and well, at least she'd gotten permission, unlike someone would have. Reddit, Lydia made a speech about pregnancy, and how she couldn't wait to be a mom, and how she was grateful to be sharing at least part of her pregnancy journey with Jade.
Reddit, this was how I found out my wife was expecting our second child. Again, I wish I could say I maintained my composure, but I didn't. I cried. I was so overwhelmed with happiness that I couldn't help myself, and I'm sure my friends will forever make fun of me for it. It felt like all the shit we'd been through this past year was worth it all for that moment. To have my family rally around me in an event that I'm sure would somehow have been made about Erin and her wedding if my Mom had been present.
I haven't spoken much about how this past year has made me feel. Truthfully, I have felt like shit for most of it. I felt like curling up and disappearing. I felt rotten and useless simply because my mother told me I was. I felt sometimes like I couldn't show how I was feeling, because Nadia was here and I didn't want her to blame herself anymore than she did. I'm in therapy now, and I'm not the only one, and I'm healing. Right now, I'm happy. I'm so unfathomably happy that I can barely understand it. I'm happier than I've ever been and I know my siblings will say the same.
While our Mom will probably say that our family has fallen apart, that's not true. Hers has. The family that she made has fallen apart, but ours has grown stronger. It has grown so unbelievably strong. We were a united front before, but it's like now we've upgraded our defences. We're coming out of this with stronger relationships with each other, a real relationship with our dad, and two new family members on the way. This is what our Mom is missing out on and it's all her own fault.
Maybe I'll update you again in the future. I'm not sure if our mom knows yet about Lydia and Jade's pregnancies, but the announcement is out there. We do have her blocked on social media though, so maybe no one's told her the good news. Erin hasn't, at least. So if anything happens on that front, I'll let you know, but for now, I'm happy with where my life is. Thank you all for your support, again, and I hope you have an amazing day.

Accepted a comfort ride at 3 a.m. for $24 this morning. It took him 5 minutes to get to the car. It was a young dude, probably in his early 20's. I greeted him and asked how he was doing and he said he wasn't feeling too well and would like to reach home at the soonest. It was a 11 mile ride and he started feeling sick just 4 minutes into the ride. He asked me to stop and he got out of the car and threw up. When he felt a little better, he got back in and I continued further. The same thing happened again after a few more minutes. I thankfully had a bottle of water and offered it to him which he gladly accepted. This continued for 4 more times and we finally arrived at the destination in 44 minutes for a ride that would normally have completed in 17 minutes. I was empathetic to the guy all along and tried to help him the best way I could. I checked the passenger seats and around to check for any signs of stains but found none. The window was open all through the ride and there was no smell either. I used Clorox wipes to clean up the seats, window all around and liberally sprayed disinfectant aerosol that I always keep in the car. I thought about reporting it to Uber for sanitizing costs but I had read about the requirements and the hassles of it and there weren't any visible signs or stains or any bad odor even.I did realize during the ride I was losing money but finally decided against asking Uber to recompense it. I actually forgot about the incident over the night. With over 3000 plus rides over an year and a half of Ubering, and that too primarily during very late hours on weekends, this was my very first experience of a passenger who had gotten sick. The primary reason I took the time to share this here is - I just received a $35 tip a few minutes ago from the same passenger. And he tipped me $35 more again just now. That's $70 in tips for a $24 ride. And the Driver app doesn't allow me to thank him once more

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Memory Transcription Subject: Tassi, Bissem Alien Liaison
Date [standardized human time]: July 27, 2160
The Sivkit fleet accompanying me on my journey back to Ivrana didn’t prove talkative. I became lonely enough that Loxsel’s check-ins were the highlight of my day, with his flamboyance and wild theories. He was more entertaining than remotely calling in to Sapient Coalition meetings, as they tracked the progress of the war; news of Tinsas’ presumed locale gave way to wild potential theories. I thought someone should suggest to the Grand Herd that they might be fighting their own people: Sivkits who had outlasted the Federation. Regardless, the humans were placing walls of disruptors to slow the attack fleet down, and considered the Kolshians, Farsul, and Krakotl to be likely targets. Each day of new sensor data seemed to align with that notion, making it evident that this attack was pointed at the Federation.
The perceived opposition to Fed dogma made the matter of the Osirs’ annihilation even stranger, since it occurred well after the conspiracy ventured past Sivkit and Paltan borders. Perhaps the Tinsas-dwellers clung to the idea that predators were evil, while faulting the Federation for their homeworld’s devastation and the relocation of their species at the same time. The ideas weren’t mutually-exclusive; this could also answer the question of who had backed the ghost exterminators, with every possible lead drying up. Zalk and the Tseia had been growing restless, so I floated that theory in the hopes it’d settle their feathers. The Nomads were getting their tails kicked in back on Ivrana, as the other Bissem powers caught up technologically. The gifted Arxur ships had changed the tide.
Lassmin has stayed neutral, though I’m not sure if Naltor still wants us to get called on for assistance and wrangle something out of the Nomads. We’re prepping Nelmin for the Sivkit refugees, since they’ll need somewhere to start a settlement.
I fiddled with a notes application on my holopad, as Loxsel called for his daily check-in. Somewhere among his accusations and scraping tally marks on the wall behind him, of the days since the Grand Herd was “tyrannized,” I could try to acquire useful information. There was a shortage of data on what they needed to survive and maintain their culture, as well as how they structured their cities. Once the wandering herbivores noticed how pleasant their accommodations were, I was hopeful we could become friends. This was technically one more party that had opened diplomatic relations with Bissemkind; we just needed to finesse them into something more dignified. Trying to form some personal connection with their ambassador would be a good start.
“Good morning,” I greeted the Sivkit.
Loxsel’s eyes turned manic. “There are no good mornings, not anymore! Perchance the edacious simians WOULD have freed Tinsas, but now, they truly rest on their haunches. Our fate lies betwixt two predators, and I had to select our executioner. Alack, it is a sad day. A hopeless, atramentous day!”
“I don’t think it’s hopeless. Your people will be away from the front lines of the war, in a brand new land. I know you like to wander, so perhaps you’ll find a kindred spirit in the Tseia. They’re nomadic as well, with seasonal settlements. Would Sivkits be interested in something similar? We could seek the Nomads’ input.”
“We vacate our commorancy not on celestial whims, like befouled beasts of the earth, but to slake our palates on the resources of the land. Until we can have Tinsas, the planet whence Sivkits derived our origin, we’ll devour any pastures we descry! There must be no repose!”
“Loxsel, I believe you’re…smarter than me,” I offered diplomatically. “Could you try to use simpler words, for a primitive like myself?”
The Sivkit’s ears pinned back with irritation. “You aren’t that primigenial…and I like my words! Have you not muzzled us hapless prey creatures enough?”
“I like your words too. I just don’t understand them, because like you said, I lack…erudition. I’m uncultured, right?”
“Fie, you are impossible to conversate with! Are any Bissems literate?!”
“I guess not.” This is a chance to bond over something he says he likes. “Maybe you can teach me, Loxsel?”
The Sivkit ambassador’s tail slowly lowered from where it was raised with rage. “Hmph. I’ll think about it. I do have my plays…peradventure you could learn something. Though tragedies might give you ideas about novel suffering.”
“You’re a playwright? I mean, that’s awesome; I’d love to see them!”
“I haven’t let anyone read my plays.”
“Why not? You have a fine control of language; I’m sure they’d hold up well to your contemporaries.”
“My endings are predator-diseased, Tassi. Killing characters—they say it’s a violent fantasy. All I do is make my fictional creations rue the day they were born! If the audience feels melancholy, then I feel jubilation!”
“Perhaps…” I hesitated, not sure if this was a proper suggestion for the Sivkit. “Perhaps you’d find better audiences with us predators.”
Loxsel’s eyes lit up, fitful excitement shining from inside. “Of course! It’s obvious; flesh-eaters love suffering! Maybe I could be entertainment cattle, making the humans growl and cackle at the demise of my characters. The soldiers, here at the base. That’s brilliant! I bid you adieu, reaver of fish!”
The Sivkit hung up without expending another second on the call, concerns about the state of the refugees thrown aside. Amusement flickered in my mind, as I weighed how the ambassador might go about being “entertainment cattle.” The humans on that Paltan-Terran base weren’t ready for what was about to hit them. I was a bit curious just how tragic Loxsel’s endings were, if they were the root of most of his predator disease accusations. Literature was never my field, but alien media was the exception; I’d love to devour anything created from another culture, and it might give me small insights into Sivkit customs. Engaging with the material and providing thoughtful feedback might spark some personal connections with the dramatic herbivore.
What is Loxsel going to do if the people that attacked him were Sivkits? Someone will have to raise that topic with the Grand Herd, especially since they want to purge the “intruders” and reclaim Tinsas. It’s a shame the enemy won’t communicate with us; the SC needs to get creative.
My eyes drifted over to a timekeeping device, sighing as I saw there were still a few hours to kill before the day’s SC proceedings. The Osirs’ day of rebirth ticked closer, with their gestational period under way. I wondered how the humans would go about finding homes for them; that was another item that we could volunteer for. As carnivores ourselves, Bissems were more qualified to raise a “predatory” species than Federation-tampered herbivores. Beyond the political benefits, I believed it was a noble purpose—bringing a slaughtered race back from extinction. If it was my kind that had been annihilated for our diet, I would want someone to care enough to do the same. It almost was Bissems, wiped out by ghost exterminators.
“Bissem diplomatic vessel, this is the patrol vessel UNS Audacity. Please acknowledge,” a hail buzzed over the speaker, jolting me from my thoughts. A dot flashed onto the sensors, following an intercept course.
Finally. Sane, receptive company to talk to. I could definitely afford to exchange a few pleasantries with humans; let’s hope they’re chatty and let a few cultural fun facts slip.
I leaned over the microphone, accepting the transmission. “UNS Audacity, this is Doctor Tassi. I’m escorting Sivkit refugees back to Ivrana for their safety. My travel plan should’ve been relayed ahead; any deviations aren’t intentional. Is there something I can help you with?”
“We have a sensitive matter we would like to discuss in-person, away from prying ears. Requesting permission to board your vessel,” came the reply. “It’s in Ivrana’s best interests to hear what we have to say. We’d prefer to talk to you, without your generals around.”
“I don’t have the authority to make decisions for my government or about military policy, but I’m happy to talk with our allies. I always have time to cultivate friendship between humans and Bissems.”
“That’s greatly appreciated. Please, just drop into real space for a moment at these coordinates; you can continue along your FTL flight path after that. We’ve become skilled at quick boardings, so it won’t be much of an inconvenience.”
“It’s not a concern. I’ll welcome humanity’s visitors at the specified location with gladness.”
My flippers input the forwarded coordinates to transition to realspace, though I was puzzled by what “sensitive matters” they wished to tackle outside of Naltor and Zalk’s view. I wondered whether I should relay a message back to the Bissem military officers; my chief loyalty was to Ivrana and her people, and I didn’t want to circumvent their authority. What gave me pause was that the Terrans might be looking for a less heavy-handed approach than that duo could offer. If Bissems were to attain any goodwill, I needed to demonstrate that I could act with discretion. It wasn’t like the primates had shown ill intent toward my home; if they wanted to harm us, they’d had ample opportunity. This hushed conversation must be for a noble purpose.
Slipping out of subspace was smooth and barely noticeable, with the autopilot figuring out the subtleties. Cruising around the galaxy in a spaceship and picking up visitors from a friendly alien race had once been my dream. The fact that it was a reality still made a part of me bubble with giddiness, even after all of the horrific occurrences since first contact. If this form of travel was to become commonplace for Bissems, we had to keep our spot in the Sapient Coalition. Humanity weren’t deities or miraculous saviors, but they were a kind-hearted species who hadn’t let persecution defeat them. I wanted to work alongside them as equals. I hoped they could reignite the awe and wonder for the universe I’d felt when their shuttle first landed in the Gray Basin.
The connection of the UNS Audacity was imperceptible, aside from the slightest tremor passing through the floorboards. I waddled over to the upper hatch, and heard three taps against it; the humans wouldn’t blow the door off on a friendly visit. I lowered the ladder for easy access and popped the seal open. A set of primate legs clambered down, revealing an older woman that I recognized from a recent SC briefing. A shiver passed down my spine, remembering how the Thafki ambassador had lobbed an accusation at Bissems over the Arxur’s escapade—one that hadn’t been incorrect. I wasn’t sure how we’d fulfill our pledge to lobby for Kaisal’s people, when suspicions were already upon us.
What is General Jones even doing here? It’s strange for a high-ranking military official to pay me a visit, without Naltor or Zalk around. I don’t see what she’d even want from me, especially if she’s here to share relevant intelligence.
Blue-gray legs straddled the ladder after Jones, taking a cautious approach into the shuttle. With the Thafki’s accusation fresh in my mind, I was worried to see that species among the boarding party; my concerns eased when I recognized the white fur-patch on her chin. Haliska looked as shrewd as she had during our games of Migration. The semi-aquatic herbivore excelled in long-term strategizing, something my intuition told me she had in common with Cora Jones. Hallie’s body language was much less open than it was during our bonding time, and I wondered if she believed the ambassador’s accusation. Could I even deny it to her face, knowing how deeply the Arxur ravaged her people? Hadn’t I betrayed her by helping her oppressors?
The third and final visitor was another familiar face, one that’d been kept away from Ivrana ever since the Tseia shared their story. Nulia—the quiet, observant one who loved to people-watch—maneuvered onto my ship. I was happy to see the Gojid sociologist, since I’d never had the chance to assure her I didn’t hold the Starlight Incident against her, even if the Tseia did. She’d done everything in her power to atone for what members of her race did; Nulia’s return to the Sapient Coalition and shouting the tale of Ivrana’s attack to the galaxy was likely what made Onso reach out at all. We had a lot of catching up to do, given how Dustin had been the one showing us the ropes in our SC trial period.
“Hallie, Nulia. I can’t believe you came all the way out here to visit me!” I chirped, opening my flippers in a hug invitation. “It was getting lonely, after such a long trip. It’s really good to see two friendly faces; I’d welcome the company, if you’d care to hitch a ride.”
The Gojid waggled a claw. “I’d love to hear how you’re adjusting, and what you think of various societies; I have the full context on how they’ve changed since joining the SC, and what they were like before the Federation. However, I’m afraid that’s a topic for another time.”
“Of course. General Jones said you have sensitive matters to discuss, and I’m all ears. I confess, I’m quite curious how both of you wound up tied with…someone I believe deals in intelligence.”
“We want you to tell us everything about your dealings with the Arxur, Tassi,” Jones commented idly. “Your friends pieced together several things that were off about your behavior, and I stitched together the rest. It’s time to come clean. Whatever information you have on their plans, you need to share it with us.”
Haliska’s eyes were cold and impassive, as she inspected me. “As a neuroscientist who knows how your brain works, I thought I’d understand more of how you’re thinking. In a scientific sense, I do, and yet I thought you felt some sympathy for how those fuckers terrorized my species. You’ve heard about the generational trauma—how Thafki were relegated to cattle farms—and you think they should be released?! That we should deal with them and act like nothing happened?”
“Of course not…look, I was morally opposed to dealing with the Arxur at all!” I blurted, cowering under her smoldering glare. The Thafki didn’t look fearful, like she had at the feast; she seemed hateful. “The Yotul put us up to it. They said they’d block us from the SC if we didn’t go along with it. We, um, communicated with the grays, and just like that, we got a trial introduction. It’s the truth!”
Nulia sighed in disappointment. “The Technocracy shouldn’t have put you in that position. Your secrecy about the visit to Leirn, the mysterious benefactor feeding you tech…I understand that Bissems did it for advancement, and a seat at the table. But I don’t understand why you went along with it, Tassi. It’s so unlike you.”
“I…I’m sorry. Kaisal said that the Collective was leaving isolation one way or another, and I figured helping a diplomatic bid was better than war. I never wanted more conflict and death; it broke my heart hearing about your checkered past, on top of seeing global conflict break out among my people. Please believe I only wanted to keep Bissems…and the wider galaxy…safe. Please.”
“Is there a reason you didn’t think humanity should know about this?” Jones asked.
“I didn’t want anyone to know we met, because of optics. We didn’t plan to speak with the Arxur on Leirn; Kaisal was just there, because the Yotul have trading aspirations. If we withdrew, there was no getting into the SC. I confess, I really wanted a chance with the galactic community…to be a part of it all. I see how Hallie and Nulia are looking at me now, but maybe…maybe it is time to at least hear the Arxur out.”
The Gojid’s eyes were also stern. “The Arxur’s crimes are still in living memory. They razed my entire planet, which separated me from my mother; my species is endangered as much as Haliska’s. And that was hardly their first raid against us. It was only a remarkable captain who fended them off earlier, and let me be born at all.”
“That’s horrific, Nulia, and I’m so sorry…but blaming the current Arxur is like blaming you for the ghost exterminators attacking us. If they’re reformed and changed, are they wrong to feel they shouldn’t have those atrocities held against them?”
“Tassi, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Kaisal himself participated in the raid that ended the cradle, and ate Gojids alive during it. He did that. That’s the leader of the Arxur Collective, so forgive me if I don’t trust someone who ate my kind in the past.”
“Kaisal…what?” A shiver ran down my spine, along with an extra lump of guilt forming in my throat. “I had no idea. I only knew that Dustin lied—no, left out a lot of parts of the story. Like the Federation starving the Arxur, their governments colluding, or Earth being saved by the grays and helped in the war by their rebellion. How can I make decisions when you’re not telling me all the facts?!”
Haliska scowled. “Dustin has worked closely with Nulia and I for a decade. He doesn’t sympathize with the species that hurt us, because he cares about our feelings—and he cares about what they did to us. I guess humans rescued the Thafki cattle just so they’ll have to look at Arxur wandering the galaxy, thanks to you.”
“Not thanks to me. That’s not fair, Hallie; the grays wanted out on their own.”
“But you told them about the Osirs, knowing they’d come speeding in. Complicating a situation where we’re already in fucking danger!”
“That’s enough anger. Tassi is going to help us fix this.” General Jones raised a finger for silence, and turned pupils that made me feel like I was being dissected. “The doctor was misled by her military allies, who just wanted those Arxur ships we definitely didn’t notice. Isn’t that right?”
“It’s…not completely wrong,” I replied meekly.
“You have no idea the mess you’ve created. Tassi, you’re aware how angry Zalk is over the Starlight Incident, which was three locations affecting one nation. The Arxur bombed entire planets and shackled races for centuries. There’s billions of Zalks out there with extra reasons to hate the Collective. It’s complicated for humanity to navigate; it’s a battle just to keep the Arxur alive and unoccupied. Our allies would prefer they meet other fates.”
“I know the SC hates them. I thought they were monsters too. I guess I just felt like they hated us because of them, and that’s not a fair comparison.”
“Humanity knows that feeling; we were likened to them, but we didn’t condone their crimes or put them ahead of our allies. You did, whether you meant to or not. If you’re sorry at all over how backstabbed your friends feel, then you should tell us this last bit. Forgiveness must be earned, and the damage you’ve done needs fixing. What is Kaisal’s plan with the Osirs?”
“Kaisal wanted to take back Apep, and to be involved in reinstalling the Osirs there, in person. I think he intends to go after whoever is responsible for their extinction. That’s all I know. I’m sorry, I…I really am. You’re all right about everything. I wish I could go back and walk away from the Yotul and their schemes; the last thing I want is for us to be pitted against each other. I do care about Haliska and Nulia, like Dustin, but I failed to act like it.”
Jones offered an artificial smile. “I’m glad you’ve seen sense, Tassi. We still have a mess to clean up. From now on, you work for me. You’re going to keep me apprised of exactly what Kaisal is up to, and send him whatever I ask.”
I don’t want to be involved with the Arxur at all, let alone be sent to manipulate them. That could make them into Bissems’ enemies, but then again, Jones wants to avoid a wider war. We can’t have him barging into the SC’s space…and I don’t want deaths on my conscience.
“I, er, I’m not sure I can get him to do anything. If I can help, I’ll try to undo the harm I’ve caused,” I murmured.
General Jones’ eyes gleamed. “Excellent. You also report to me on whatever schemes your generals cook up, and any of their plans involving the SC. You’re going to help me ensure Bissems don’t go causing more problems at a time like this. I suspect you have Naltor’s ear.”
“Whoa, I…I wouldn’t betray Lassmin like that. I want to protect Bissems, not…you’re asking me to spy on high-ranking military officials of two nations, and leak sensitive info to the very people they’re talking about. It’s treason, and it would undermine their plans. I love my planet and my country. I want what’s best for them, not to weaken their standing.”
“Naltor and Zalk chasing military gain isn’t what’s best for you. As for treason, there’d be no paper trail for them to find. All you have to do is get regular memory scans; that’s it. Consider it keeping an eye on you—parenting.”
“We don’t need parents, General. I’ll try to push them toward more peaceful, cooperative ideas of my own free will. I’ve already been trying to turn our resources toward more altruistic causes; look at the Sivkits. We can be team players. I can’t do what you’re asking, but I beg for you to give us a second chance.”
The human looked unimpressed. “You can do what I’ve asked of you, or we can share the Bissems’ involvement in this Arxur scheme with the SC. Something tells me Ivrana would wind up almost as isolated as the Arxur…and with as few friends. Humanity can shield you from all of this, of course, but we just need eyes on you to ensure we won’t get circumvented again.”
I froze in place for what felt like an eternity, mortified at potentially being locked out of the galaxy for good. What was scheming with the Yotul for, if we not only lost our spot on the SC, but had the entire organization turn on us? All I’d wanted was to be friends with these aliens, and if the Thafki ambassador had connected the dots…we needed the humans to throw their allies off the scent. Jones covering up our mess might be the last hope of joining the stars; while she hadn’t dangled it over my head, we also were reliant on the Terrans to fix Ivrana’s biosphere. The general was only asking this because we betrayed her trust, forcing her to ensure we wouldn’t ice her people out again.
“Fine,” I relented. “Nothing that outright hurts my people or endangers lives. That’s where I draw the line.”
Victory sparkled in the primate’s binocular eyes. “Excellent. We are on the same side; there’s nothing to worry about. Oh, and since you mentioned those Sivkits…try to get closer to them too. We appreciate the tip about Tinsas, but it’d be useful to know how they found out. Now, I think you three need a chance to talk things through. Enjoy the ride home, ladies.”
The Terran clambered back onto her shuttle, leaving me dumbfounded about what I’d agreed to. If this was the only way to right my inadvertent wrongs, I was resigned to going along with it; Bissems needed humanity in our corner. I had to figure out just how I was going to gather intel on three separate entities, without any of them discovering my intent. However, what mattered right now was making amends with Haliska and Nulia. My alien friends had to know that I did care for them deeply, and that betraying their confidence had never been my intent.
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Star Crossed [Multiple Free Sample Chapters] Patreon Subreddit Discord Paperback NOP2 Species Lore

A homeless teenager reaches out to the Shil’vati on first day of the invasion of Earth.
Credit to: who has beta read just about every chapter, and the only reason it's readable half the time
u/bluefishcake for writing the original SSB story.
Pizzaulostin who has been beta reading since the beginning.
Credit to u/HollowShel for getting me started with this!
This story is based in the SSB universe.
Previous
First
Chapter 33:

Reqellia:

It was the darkest part of the night, and yet I could hear the energetic commotion of Ruhal blearily heating up food for a famished human along with the clinks of dishes and silverware.
“One more day.” I felt glued to the bench as I stared back into the silver mask I hadn’t worn for almost [twenty-five years] prior, and had hoped never to put on again. I cursed my old girlish wishes when I first joined up, wanting to be a war hero, and then a mother afterwards. To grow old and see my own child in uniform. I had even wanted a son since I was already demanding the impossible.
I never believed in the gods, but now I’m sure that I’ve tempted Niosa to grant my wishes, but only after I made my peace with them that they would never come true.
Klein bounced around the suite’s kitchen, eating enough for two Shil women and already wearing his armor’s underlayment. The chair creaked a bit as he sat, his own horror-show mask on the dining table next to him staring back at him unblinking.
And It was a horror show.
He’d wake up cheerful and happy, and I’d watch over the day as every bit of his energy was drained out of him. The daily exercise routine of a morning run and gym day in a month being performed in a few short hours. Every time Klein finished a trail faster, or performed a more grueling task, the trainers would make him do even more as his contract offers rose another level.
I didn’t blame the instructors, it was their job to challenge each applicant, but Klein blew through all their expectations, so they just kept piling more onto him. Many of those same instructors had asked me if they were pushing him too far, but all I could do was shrug. Even I didn't even know where his potential ended.
I blinked and looked up. He was in his full armor now, with only the mask off.
“Ready to go?”
I nodded and stood up, quickly heading over to Ruhal, who in turn looked at me with sleep deprived eyes. Worn out as I was, he was worse, playing subject matter expert on all things human around a bunch of high ranking officers desperate for information not tainted by censorship.
“Stay safe out there,” he politely ordered as he kissed me.
I kissed him back and held his hand. “You too.”
Sighing,I left to let him rest, popped my back, and donned my own mask.
As Klein paced the door, I begged for safety. “One more day, please let everything be okay after today.”
I shouldn’t have tempted Niosa again.

Itaro:

I quietly padded out of the children’s den to a chorus of snoring from my siblings. The well carpeted securely fastened to wooden floors muffled my footsteps. I opened the large storm shutters and then pulled open the sliding glass door to the patio. I couldn’t sleep anymore, excitedly bouncing from one foot to another.
Klein and Reqellia were coming home tonight! Reqellia had sent me her contract offers that came from a dozen different Imperial departments and bureaus. Dad already agreed years ago she could move in with us, a pack sister was always welcome. Now she wouldn’t feel like a burden if she had to.
And Klein… Well, I wouldn’t be bothered by a few love-marks.
“I see that smile. Excited?” I heard my father’s deep voice like distant thunder. I turned around to his massive form only a few steps away. We both had learned to walk silently when my siblings were just pups and the discovery that they were light sleepers had been made.
I felt my ears droop just a little to see his melancholic face. He had gone out of his way the last few weeks to spend more time with just me now that I had a pack of my own. There was always a soft smile on his face, but the way his tail hung low to the floor was a dead giveaway on his mood.
I tried to cheer him up. “I am. It’s been weeks since I got to speak to Au’tes, and Klein…” I trailed off, the insinuation clear. He smirked. He had met Klein in passing, but I wasn’t bringing him home yet. Hario on the other hand had made one or two bawdy jokes at the dinner table after a second glass of her favorite liquor.
First time Klein spends the night, you might want to check up on Itaro, make sure she didn’t keel over from exhaustion.
“At this rate I’m going to have to teach you sword fighting to beat back other male suitors from poaching you for their own packs!” My father joked. Stepping off the patio landing, he hit the ground noiselessly, bending his legs to absorb the shock.

After letting out a quiet grunt indicative of an age he tried to keep hidden, he turned around and looked back up at me. “Want to come with me for a walk?”
I jumped down and followed him into our little patch of forest my mother’s terraforming job paid for. The early morning was already warm without a cooling vest, but not intolerable. The chirping of birds and the soft whistle of wind tinged with just a hint of salt made everything feel fresh.
It was like when I came home from school and my father would stop construction for the day. We’d explore the forest, play on the beach, go into town for groceries.
Except now my father didn’t run and have me chase him. He carefully inspected the trees for pests, and our conversation was far more practical than whimsical. “Your mother’s coming home next month. Can you write her a message before she meets Klein, just so she has a better idea of your pack?”
I nodded. “Of course. How long is she going to be home this time?”.
Her terraforming jobs always lasted months, if not years. I never faulted her for the huntress life, but it made connecting with her difficult. She was more a guest of honor than a mother to the household, always bringing a fatted Sou’ta carcass home as a present, but rarely cleaned dishes, or the house.
Or really any chore…
He shrugged before crouching next to a felled tree, trimming away small branches for kindling with a tiny hatchet he hand pulled from his tool pouch. “Might be a good long while this time. The last message I got said her department only had small projects and a few hazard jobs on the periphery. Besides, we might need an extra set of hands more than the money now.”
I scoffed. “Her, a house mother!? No offense, but mom is a terrible cook, and a worse caretaker. Remember the time she nearly burned down our kitchen boiling water?”
He laughed with me as he pocketed the hatchet. Standing up with two sticks, and then threw me one. I caught it as he swung his own stick in my general area. “Defend yourself! I did say I needed to teach you sword fighting. How else are you going to fight off possessive men when they realize what a catch you are?”
He didn’t teach anything but how to rough house on a lazy Shel morning.
We played and swung the flimsy branches until I accidentally hit him square in the chest. The branch, already crumbly and dry, disintegrated on impact. It didn’t stop him from dramatically acting out a death scene. Falling to his knees in an overly theatrical fashion. “Oh, woe is me! Cut down by my own daughter in cold blood!”
I let him pretend to be on stage for a few moments longer before standing over him to offer a hand. He took it, and then yanked me down to the grassy patch, holding me for a long, quiet minute. “I’m going to miss you.”
For the first time I noticed the stray white hairs around his muzzle, I knew what he meant, but I tried to play it off. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He just held me for a silent heartbeat longer, then let go and stood up.
He proclaimed cheerfully to mask his wet eyes. “Now, let’s get you cleaned up. You can’t look like a pup out of a mud bath for your victorious pack! I even scheduled a visit at Tulo’s for a haircut. Ruhal’s treat.”
My mind played with potential futures as we headed home. Between the three of us, we could write our own life together. Maybe I could even stay close to home.
I looked up to the rising light.
“One more day!”

Klein :

The mountains of gear and equipment around us were illuminated by harsh flood lights. We stood in formation with each person, regardless of species, showing physical signs of exhaustion. Drooping shoulders and bent knees, unfocused and slow eye movement.
Instructor Li’kele was wearing full battle rattle today, complete with a compact lasrifle holstered to her leg.
“Good morning applicants! It’s the last day of selection! Your assignment will be to support your sisters in the combat section in the wargames! You see all this critical equipment? Our first assignment will be to load all of it on auto-turoxes and hover-wagons. Unfortunately we don’t have enough capacity , some of you will need to carry gear on your person as we make the [ten mile] trek into the forest. Applicants 849, 734, 236 and 953 step up after we finish loading! You are our extra carriers.”
I knew I was going to be picked. It was easy to not let it bother me though. Reqellia had explained that the instructors were just trying to push us to our limits, and every extra duty and handicap meant a better contract with a brighter future.
Still, after hefting thousands of [pounds/kilos] of stuff onto the squat legged drone’s cargo cages and the little platforms that would float once powered, dread formed in the pit of my stomach as an entire counter-battery system was cinched onto my person. I trudged as we formed up for our road march.
The combat selection team rolled in as we took positions, already covered in mud from what I could guess was their own morning fun, their las-rifles at the low ready. Their own instructor, a severe looking Hyena-like Kortika woman with fur that trimmed short and smooth. She yelled out orders to the gaggle of applicants under her command. “Form on either side of the supply train and defend them at all costs! If they get shot because you weren’t doing your job, then it’s your ass that will be carrying the extra gear!”
We marched out of the base, clinking and clunking as we traveled uphill. The weight wasn’t too bad now that it was evenly distributed on my body, but it would be hell taking it off and putting it back on anytime we stopped.
“Isn’t that the new shock trooper ? What’s he doing with the non-combat selection?” I heard one of the combat applicants say idly. It was easy to pick up conversation in the nearly silent dawn as we marched on a dirt path extending across an expanse of grassland in the reddening sky. It was really pretty, watching the light play on the green forested hills in the distance.
Their Instructor sidled up to the commenting girl silently, ears swiveled back in anger. She grabbed her shoulder, growling low. “Cut the chatter, girl. ”
Silence followed for the next hour in the pre-dawn light.
We got the first taste of the wargames when red beams bolted over our heads and dropped one of our auto-turoxes. “Everyone get down!” yelled one of our instructors, and I threw myself on the path.
With all the weight on me, the impact on the ground hurt . I looked up and saw red beams blink in and out over me. Their flashes brought back memories.
The red glow through convenience store windows . An alien invasion.
I blinked furiously and turned my head to see what was going on with the combat teams on the sides of the road. They had already taken out two of the ‘raiders’ who stood up, hands in the air as they walked away. Another minute clicked by before a squad decided to double check the tall grass and found a third raider hiding. All had the insignia of the instruction cadre commandos.
“Everyone, up !” Instructor Lik’ele belted out in a two-word shout, and I had to push up off the ground, creaking under the weight. My arms burned as I got to my knees, then raised a hand and called out, “assistance!” One of the unnumbered girls gave me a hand to steady myself, and I rocked a bit trying to stand.
“Thank you,” I said, but between the voice distorter and my mask, the girl backed away as soon as I was up, fear registered in her eyes.
[At the bus stop, a classmate backed away from me. scared of me for some reason mumbling ‘you're bleeding’. Warmth on my upper lip, a coppery taste.]

I shook my head, trying to banish the weird memory surfacing, I hadn’t had a nosebleed since I left Earth. I looked back up, but the girl had already gotten back in formation and we started moving again.
It wasn’t quite noon when we stopped for lunch. I got help removing my kit, and stretched to work out the kinks. Reqellia stood next to me as I sat down on the hard packed surface. I took off my gloves, and jammed them under my chest holster.
I was technically ‘armed’ right now. We had gotten the thirty-minute las-pistol training yesterday on how to safely handle them, and then ran through a quick range. They were nothing more than glorified laser pointers though. They could lock up a suit set to respond to the laser signal, but they wouldn’t so much as redden skin otherwise.
Reqellia had let me in on their real purpose, to see if we could be trusted with a dangerous object and not play with it.
Eating was a pain, I had to lift my mask halfway up and eat blind. The meal pack was cold, but eh, it was food. Goddess, I was hungry.
“How are you holding up?” Reqellia asked, the silver mask obscuring any expression, and the voice distorter deadening any intonation, but by the angle of the head tilt, I could guess the question was more concern than curiosity.
“It’s not too heavy, but it’s awkward trying to move around,” I admitted as I put my mask back in place and pulled out my omni-pad. I tried not to boggle at the contract offers I was getting. It was a straight up bidding war, including furnished houses, years of leave after an initial stint, even minor titles.
Ruhal had helped me, even filled out the forms himself with less than a day for submission. He had also messaged me about the fine print of many of these absurd offers. The watch word was ‘Relocation’.
“They will send you back to Earth. Right now, you are the only human any department can recruit who might know an obscure piece of human signage or culture that got skipped during their culture crash courses, has the physical ability to keep up during an operation, and they can implicitly trust it is loyal to the Imperium.”
I scrolled past the too-good-to-be true proposals and to the ones without relocation, not ridiculously overpaying, but still plenty. Maybe I would follow Ka’tel into ICAD, or…
“We need to get moving!” Li’kele barked and I signaled for help again. This time Au’tes was ordered to help me with my gear. Now seeing her up close, she was definitely worse for wear. She smiled, but it was the kind of tired smile that had almost no energy in it. Her usual well controlled movements were slurred by exhaustion, and she leaned on me after buckling the packs on my shoulders, her own extra gear was a large backpack of energy cells.
“Damn, girl runs away in fear from combat selection after spending years in the militia and now plays valet. Bet whatever is underneath that suit is more would eat her alive if unmuzzled,” I overheard one of the combat applicants snicker. Au’tes winced, just a bit, at the barb from her former youth militia group.
“Lift your visor.” I said. It was dumb, it was really dumb, but I wanted to give her at least a reminder of what she had that they didn’t. Au’tes had a flicker of confusion, but flipped up the visor on her suit’s helmet.
I lifted my mask just enough to kiss her. It was honestly a gross kiss and wished I could have brushed my teeth beforehand. But when I dropped my mask down there was the manic Au’tes again, full of energy and gusto. I looked past her to the shocked combat applicants. I put my finger to roughly where my mouth was and whispered in my distorted voice, “No one will believe you.”
Au’tes brought her visor down and squeezed my hand for a second longer before leaning in close “Thank you for letting me know you still exist under there.

Reqellia:

The dirt trail up the hill was easy enough for my legs. I stayed in the same general area as Klein, but with my augments I already had his pinpoint location and medical data, I could even access his helmet camera. I didn’t want to get in his way while the instructors gave him snap secondary tasks to complete on our journey up to the outpost location.
I kept myself entertained by listening in on the comms chatter that I could pick up on the wargames going on about us at large. I had enjoyed playing the no-holds-barred opposing force when I was a commando on rotation here.
Right now there was a particularly fun little drama going on up north of our location. A mechanized assault unit tasked with taking out an anti-orbital battery got one of their exos stuck in mud because of a poor assessment of the ground composition. The armored crane they had first ordered to pull it out was now also stuck.
The Lieutenant was trying to get an exception to the wargame rules to bring a drop ship in to pull them both out, but the higher-ups told her to figure it out. The whole point of these wargames was to discover how things could go wrong. The Lieutenant tried to pull title to overrule them, only to get a nasty conversation from her commander.
A small beep from my monitoring systems told me Klein’s heart rate had slowed and I looked up to see the front of the supply train had been ordered to halt. Up ahead was the “fort,” a clearing on top of the hill with nothing but some half buried holes.
The Kortika woman got to the front of the formation and gave her orders. “Listen up! Combat selection is going to set up a perimeter while the Auxiliary builds us a structure safe enough to hold during an assault. All weapons are going ‘live’, but for those in the non-combat teams I will again warn you to only use them in self-defense. If you wanted to shoot people for a living you should have signed up for it.”
I tried not to flinch as I watched Klein and his compatriots start to offload all the gear they had packed this morning and attempt their best effort at setting it up with basic instructions from Li’kele and the manuals that came with the equipment. Just another test to see how the applicants would handle the technical situation.
At this point they were at their limit, physically and mentally exhausted as they tried to bolt frames together, wrestle antennas, install expandable barriers, and put together the foundations of a forward operating base.
Klein had all but given up on the counter battery system he schlepped here and handed that responsibility off to a Senthe Boy while speaking a rough northern dialect of Satenthia. The boy was more than happy to talk to someone who knew even a few words of his native tongue.
I opened a small window on my HUD and watched with amusement as the early contract offers rose and fell. Klein’s offer from naval engineering, already paltry compared to other, more suitable jobs, dropped to barely above standard. Intelligence and Law branches, however, rocketed upwards again.
I could almost hear the recruiter’s comments as the numbers and terms changed. Does not have familiarity with Shil military equipment. Comfortable with speaking multiple languages. Works well with multiple species.
I watched them work. Klein, in usual Klein fashion, pushed himself. After getting the counter battery laser hooked up, he volunteered for other physically demanding tasks. Pile driving in the foundations that hold the columns of the structure. The rhythmic thump gave me ghost aches when I had done the same thing out in the periphery while getting pot shotted by roaches.
I shook my head. It was going to be another rough night for him by the way he was bunching up his shoulders as he braced the handheld pile driver. Thankfully, tomorrow he’d be home and with an appointment with Cee who might force him on bed rest for the next month.
I started to chuckle at the thought of how protective Itaro was going to get after taking one look at Klein. I came back from deployment once missing three fingers from a plasma grenade and Bahtet waited on me and foot, wouldn’t so much as let me handle a kitchen knife until they were replaced later that month.
A few stray red beams were thrown our way, even a flash bang or two from the commandos tasked with harassing us came and went. As the ramparts of the temporary base were finished, I took up station on the second level to oversee the whole complex. Klien was working with a combat team, helping them put a second defense line in. They had driven stakes into the ground to support parallel knee-high thermocast plates with an arms-length gap between them, which Klein was filling in with dirt to act as a wall and platform for the heavy, crew served lasgun.
I was thankful there would be a shuttle to pick us up soon. I played the opposing force for Selection a few times, and I still remembered the script. Right now we were in a lull that would last until dusk, then at least three full commando teams would assault the base. The battle would be made as realistic and demanding as possible with creeping dark to add to the complexity.
The Selection team would always be wiped out, but it was how they performed against overwhelming odds that would shift the contract offers that last bit before everything was locked in place.
I heard the whirr of a counter battery system swiveling around, and then the crackle of it firing. I turned to see what it was aiming for but all I saw was a cloud of smoke . Then a fast moving object came through the cloud before I heard the crackle again and another exploded .
Blanketing everything in a tar-black fog .
My stomach dropped. This wasn’t the cadre commando team, and they were attacking too soon. I got on the comms with Li’kele “HALT, HALT, HALT! We need to stop the exercise!”
I got a crackle on the comms. Then Li’kele’s voice came in that terrifyingly calm voice used to keep control of a combat operation. “I can’t get a signal out, I need a report on the situation.”
Instead of trying to explain I sent her my video feed as I jumped down from the ramparts and started to sprint for Klein. I needed to get him out of here , but I hadn’t had time to prime my augments. I started the cold power cycle as I cursed myself for letting my guard down.
I was already too late . I watched as our own counter-battery laser weapons were used against us, acting as the triggers for each smoke grenade engulfing Klein’s team right in front of me, their signal dropping right out. I got a response from Li’kele that alleviated at least some of my terror. “Dammit! It’s the 171 st Raiders from the wargames, they mus-”
And then I was enveloped in darkness and static. The smoke was so thick I could only see a few paces away in all spectrums. I tried my internal radio and….
Nothing. I was alone and with nothing to guide me, and then I saw to the right of me a few weak beams of red, and then a ball of light of a simulated explosion. I let my gnawing panic subside and walked their way with a observers flag in my hand. I was practically on top of them before I saw the combat selection team that had been ‘killed’, their frowning faces and hands up as they sat there grumbling.
The Raiders appeared soon after. A four woman squad. Two Helkam, a Rakiri, and a Shil’vati hefting a large antiquated grenade launcher. I called out “Do you have a way to call a emergency stop to the battle?”
The squad leader responded. “Did someone get seriously injured? I can fire off a flare and our medic teams will be here to extract them.”
“No! This is Selection, we aren’t supposed to be part of the Wargames.” I argued, but she waved me off.
“We got orders to assault the base up here. Trust me, our commander is mighty pissed at getting tasked with a frontal assault on the youngest and toughest the Imperium has to offer, with adding insult to injury if we lose to kids. That’s why we broke out the smoke screen.”
“One of the Selection members is the first of their species. Higher ups want them monitored at all times,” I partly lied.
The gears whirred and the team lead brought her weapon up again, eyes a little wider. “ Blue Eyes is here? Shit, girls ready up and head on a swivel!”
The team reformed in a circle facing outwards, a tactic specifically meant for ambushes and roach suicide drones. I stood there, confused. “Blue eyes?”
The team lead started to move into the smoke again, but explained, her eyes darting around. “Yeah, the freaky creature in the mask, toyed with an unmanned Exo before annihilating it with a shipcutter! A close quarters combat specialist with heavy armor and a real mean streak . You’re telling me they’re loose in a forest with enough concealment to sneak up on us and tear us to shreds? Ma’am the only ones in immediate danger are us. ”

My husband, John, (40M) and I (26F) have been together* 5 years (married for 3) and have 3 kids (ages 3mos, 2, 4). We met when I was still in college working part time as a nanny for his friend's family. We crossed paths a few times at my nanny family's functions, and my nanny family gave him my number and encouraged me to go out with him. Initially I only did because I didn't want to offend them, but we ended up hitting it off really well. I accidentally got pregnant with my oldest about a year into seeing him. (3 kinds of birth control and still got pregnant, what are the chances ha) At first I was devastated because I was just about to graduate and had already been offered an amazing internship in my field. The internship would require me to move across the country and so I was already planning to leave my current job and break up with John so I could pursue my dream job, so my initial plan was to terminate the pregnancy. However, long story short, I ended up staying with John and having my oldest but under the agreement that I would start working asap and John would pay for childcare so I didn't have to be a SAHM and permanently walk away from career goals that I had worked very hard toward for basically my whole life.
As soon as my son was born I fell instantly in love and the few resentments I had about the way things turned out completely disappeared. While I did stay home with him for the first year because I couldn't stand to leave him for more than a few hours, I was open with John about my plans to find a job in my field as soon as I could, and he was always on board and never expressed any issue with it.
John and I got married when my oldest was 1, and John started pushing me to have more kids but I refused because I felt ready to start working. I ended up getting a really great job offer at the company I'm still with today. I started looking for nannies and was put in contact with our current nanny, Sarah (21F). She has honestly been a godsend. She is the sole reason I made it through being apart from my baby and she does such an amazing job I honestly cannot imagine my life without her.
Shortly after I started my job I accidentally got pregnant again (another birth control baby!), and my husband tried to talk me into staying home with the kids again after my 2nd was born, but I was too happy with my job. They offered to let me WFH part time which worked out perfectly. My husband wanted to cut back Sarah's hours as I would be home a lot more but I refused because while I'd be able to breastfeed and help take care of my newborn, I still wanted her there to help with our rambunctious toddler while I was working. Our arrangement worked out really well, and I recently did the same with our 3rd baby, while Sarah watches the older two during the days when I'm working.
Sarah and I get along great. We have a lot in common and I see her as a friend as much as an employee. My kids love her very much and ask about her whenever she isn't there. Since I was also a nanny I am able to work with her effectively and I have so much respect and admiration for the job she does with my kids as she's even more patient and hands-on than I ever was with my nanny family's kids. Even though we pay her a lot, I honestly think she's worth even more than that and I tip her as much as I can. For some reason my husband does not feel the same way. He is very critical of her (not to her face, he has very little interaction with her as most days she leaves before he gets home). To me he is always nitpicking how she does things, like if a few toys get left out in the playroom, if she used too much gas in the car, if she got fast food for the kids instead of cooking them a meal, etc. He tells me she is not worth what we're paying her, and that she's doing an "easy" job I was fine doing for free. This irritates me like nothing else, because while yes I don't find looking after my kids particularly difficult, I wouldn't call it remotely easy, and it's much different when it comes to dedicating most of your free time to looking after someone else's kids. And Sarah goes above and beyond to make sure my kids are safe, happy and entertained every day, and even does some pre schooling with them.
Last week my husband confronted me with some of the footage from our security cameras of Sarah "neglecting" our kids. The whole thing was completely ridiculous. There was one video where she left my 2 yo in her high chair crying for 5 minutes while taking my 4yo to the bathroom 3 feet away. There was one where she let them stay up past bedtime to finish a movie while she worked on schoolwork. All relatively innocuous things like that that I couldn't care less about. The worst of it was a video of her texting on her phone for like 30 minutes while my kids were playing, which we have asked her to not be on the phone while playing with the kids. But even though she technically did something "wrong" she's a human being she's not going to be perfect 100% of the time.
Once he was done showing me I asked him "is the neglect in the room with us right now?" and that made him really mad. He accused me of not caring about our children's well-being because if I did I would agree with him that we need to fire her. I told him we're firing her over my dead body and if it wasn't for her our children would actually be neglected because we both work full time. He told me that Sarah was trying to take over my role as a mother in my children's eyes and she was coming between me and our family and if I cared about our family I would want to fire her too. I laughed in his face and told him I would rather divorce him and pay for her myself than fire her and quit my job. He stormed out and hasn't spoken to me since. AITAH?
Edit: Thank you so much to everyone who has offered advice and support. I'm trying to read over everyone's comments and process everything. Honestly, I thought this was just an annoying ongoing argument between myself and my husband about our nanny but you all have opened my eyes to a much deeper issue.
Firstly I want to say I'm a bit worried it came across like I resent getting pregnant or having kids because I really don't. I love my kids more than anything and I would not trade them for the life I wanted before or choose my job over them if it ultimately came to that. I do stress about the accidental pregnancies a lot because it makes me feel out of control of my own life and body but I hope that doesn't come across as me having regrets over them. The last thing I want is for people to think my kids are a burden who have ruined my life because they are a gift and have brought more love to my life than I knew I was capable of. I really don't feel "trapped" by then or anything like that.
On that note, however, a lot of people have pointed out the possibility of my husband tampering with my birth control. This has me really shaken up I'm not going to lie. The scariest thing about this is that he's a medical professional and started writing my scripts for BC after we got married, and he often recommends and prescribes me supplements and things for my health. He also convinced me that IUD's were dangerous and ineffective, and that it's not uncommon to get pregnant on BC if you're extremely fertile. I don't even want to think about the implications of him having messed with something to get me pregnant. I trust him a lot with medical decisions and opinions, and while I know he's not as vigilant about birth control as I am I didn't even consider the chance he was actively sabotaging it..
Not really sure where to go from here or how to investigate this further. Many of you were concerned about having an emergency fund/ safety plan and I do keep my finances separate from his and luckily I make good enough money that I could leave if I really needed to. Thank you again to everyone who commented, I will try to update for those of you who asked.

My nurse just called after a swab to retest to see if I’m negative for ureaplasma & myoplasma - and I’m officially negative! This was a long journey but I feel like this support page really helped me. Here’s some advice from my own experience (but obviously everyone is different) 1. I used doxy for 7 days, 100 mg taken 2x a day. Followed by z pack for 5 days. 2 pills on 1st day and 1 pill for the next 4 days. 1.5 g total 2. I did an original round of antibiotics about 8 months ago but had intercourse during this time with my husband. I don’t think I understood how debilitating ureaplasma was until I continued to show symptoms and still tested positive. Especially since we are trying to get pregnant soon, I didn’t want to take the chance with conceiving. I know there is some mixed info about pregnancy and ureaplasma, but I still would rather be safe than sorry 3. I was very strict on making sure my husband and I didn’t have intercourse. Once we both realized this has long term issues, we both took the same regimen of antibiotics. We both just tested negative but still waited till we BOTH tested negative. Also, my husband tested negative on urine test but he decided to get swab done for better reliability as instructed by my OBGYN. Apparently you can still have ureaplasma and test negative with urine exam. Make sure your partner is in full support of helping you through this journey. 4. Lastly, if you struggle like me believing your ureaplasma will never go away, it absolutely can! When I followed proper instruction and took it seriously it went away. Don’t give up!

I just learned that retinol is not safe for women who are pregnant or breastfeeding. I’m 9 weeks pregnant and I’ve been using Sunday Riley’s Luna Night oil (over-the-counter) roughly 2-4 times a week since conceiving. I’m panicking. Curious if anyone else made this mistake during their first trimester and should I be concerned for the wellbeing of my baby? Are there tests available during pregnancy to determine if there are any impacts to the baby’s development?

So I'm just here too vent I don't know where to start but I'll start at the beginning so some backstory, I grew up in a traditional household as in I was fending for myself from the age of 14 by that I mean that once I turned 14 I cooked my own meals I did my own laundry I cleaned my own room I did my own jobs where I got paid money for things Such as babysitting house cleaning and sitting. Also I feel like I should mention that I grew up in a sixth generational military household where we were Raised under strict discipline We were also raised to have strong moral values as in do not do anything illegal and be an upstanding citizen you see something wrong report it. So to the meat and potatoes of why I want to vent so For this we need to go back 12 years ago so I just graduated high school I decided I want to start dating so I ended up meeting the person who would become my life partner when I first met him and we were on our first date I specifically told him that if we are going to be serious there's a game changer or end of game for me would be If he Or any of his friends or family members Had a criminal record that it would be game over "sorry thanks for playing tell him what he has won Charlie". He very plainly told me that no everyone and his family and his life are good people. So I give him a chance and we ended up dating for 2 years. Eventually I ended up getting stationed far away and I asked him if he would like to move in with me and he said yes. After a short while of us living together we ended up getting pregnant with our daughter and then he wanted me to meet his parents. side note The reason why I haven't met his parents up until this point is because I was a strong believer in not meeting the in-laws until marriage was either on the table or at least in talks but I did not want to meet them unless I and he was absolutely sure that we wanted to take that step. So we eventually went to go meet his parents and siblings and his siblings kid and everything went well it was a very lovely meeting and there was nothing to complain about nothing out of the ordinary. It eventually got to the point where every weekend we would be going to his parents house and the rest of the pregnancy went by swimmingling no problems whatsoever. Eventually my daughter came into the world during the summer and she was full term healthy happy baby. After 2 months of recuperating from giving birth we went to go visit his family let them see their granddaughter, niece, cousin. When we arrived at my in-law's house his cousin was there just chillin sitting on the couch. My partner said "cousin you're out of juvee that's amazing I wasn't expecting you to be back so soon" Safe to say my eyes widen when I heard my partner say this because I flashback to when we first met and I specifically asked him if he had any family members or Or friends who Who had a criminal record. I pulled him to our room that we had aside at the In-law's house and hushley yelled at him saying that he had told me that he had no family members are friends with criminal records he very nonchalantly Said "oh cousin doesn't have a criminal record it was expunged when he turned 18" 🚩#1: I don't know about everyone else but this was a red flag when I first heard it cause he basically got me on a technicality But I still felt betrayed because his cousin was in juvee for a pretty bad crime.( Not gonna mention here but it will come into light later in the story.) I let it go for the moment And enjoyed the rest of my weekend unfortunately though I had left my ipod In my room cause I was told it would be safe there because I was also told that I should make my partner's room feel more homey to me. But when I had came back the following weekend to get my ipod it was not where I had left it I ended up tearing apart the room looking for it because it had sentimental value to me due to irreplaceable photos videos from high school of friends, friends who are no longer with us, events that I held dear from high school Especially all the events that come with senior year of high school. I asked all the family who were living in the house at the time if any of them had been in partner's room or Or borrowed my ipod and everyone said no everyone said I don't know where it is. I then asked who has been in the house during the week since I was gone and mother-in-law said oh cousin was here because he was having trouble with his girlfriend. I went to partner and asked him to call cousin to see if he borrowed my ipod because if he did then I would like it back because I have I have irreplaceable photos on the ipod. 🚩#2: Partner said no cousin wouldn't never take anything from my room cousin's not like that you're crazy why you being so upset and crazy over a few photos and a ipod. Partner also mentioned that because of my view of His cousin that that's clouding my Vision of him so of course I would automatically assume he would take it granted I did not specify he stole it I said borrowed did not say stolen please refer to previously mentioned reason why this ipod was so important to me...partner knew of the sentimental value of the ipod also that I paid for it with my hard earned money, it was the first expensive thing I had ever brought. Anyways partner had me second-guessing myself so I eventually just let go the fact that my ipod was missing I did not bring it up I should have it would save me a lot of mental health in the future anyways flash forward to 2015 my contract With the military was up I decided not to reinlist. As a goodbye gift my master chief had given me a deer antler bullet Pen that he had made personally for me. At the behest of his parents me and partner and our daughter moved into his parents place I kept the pen in a pen holder On my desk in my room At this point in time I was always out of my room and out of the house looking for a job. I didnt really need one I was making and still am making plenty from the VA. I'm sure a lot of you I probably gonna say that when I had moved in I should learn my lesson with the ipod and had installed a lock on the door but my in-laws were strong believers in a no lock policy in the house of course I did not And still do not believe in that policy I like privacy I do not like the idea of someone just randomly barging into my Space at any given moment. So eventually one of my old navy buddies had came to visit me and wanted to see the pen that master chief had given me. We wanted to compare the ones that Master chief had given both of us Every pen he had made was always unique so we wanted to see the difference Between the 2. Low and behold my pen was missing and I was devastated. And true Rinse and repeat fashion. I asked all the family members who were living in the house at the time if anyone had been in my room and took a pen they all looked at me like I was crazy and said are you going to get upset over a pen missing now and I specified that that pen was basically a parting gift from my boss for For being in the military. 🚩#3:After I realized that I was not gonna get anywhere with asking the family, I voice my concerns and grievances to my partner he also made me feel like I was crazy because he stated that "it's just a pen get over it". Eventually I did manage to get a few jobs over the next few years up until 2019 when I eventually decide I want to better my education and go to college so from June till may of 2020 I was going to college.side note: From when we had moved in with his parents all the way till even today I have been doing 90% of the housework as in I cook, I clean, I do laundry all the while working 40+ hour weeks. All partner ever does is just go do work with his dad And come home to fresh clean clothes and towel fresh out of the dryer laid out in the bathroom and a hot meal waiting on the table as I'm sure you're getting from the tone of what I'm saying right now I think you know Where this whole thing is gonna go real soon. So while I'm going to school and doing all the housework taking care of our child. My partner would come home shower do all the normal stuff and then go to bed but then he wouldn't touch me or be intimate with me he would always say I'm tired I'm not in the mood I have a headache. Maybe you dont understand partner but I never pressed on him because I assume because of certain work stressors He must be having a tough week so I never pressed him to be intimate with me. Pass to around a few weeks before Halloween I was just randomly scrolling on his phone looking at Halloween costumes for our daughter cause she wanted a very specific costume and he had gotten a text message from someone labeled under a male name and they said something that was very alarming and I looked in the text against my better judgment And what it said was hey how about we have another car date. I didn't want to jump to conclusions so me in stealth mode I text it back saying what would you like to do during the car date and the person replied oh the same thing we do every time we go on a car date you me in the back seat and you pounding me like crazy. With you saying my name and me screaming yours. Safe to say I was sick to my stomach just from reading what the person had text I had screenshot the text and I had sent it to myself and then deleted the text that I had sent to myself from my partner's fault I then put the phone away and then partner went and got his phone and I could see his face turned pale white as he saw that the Text had been opened but he didn't make any mention even brought it up. After this I went into FBI mode and I would casually look at his phone whenever he was in the shower he would always leave it charging as soon as he got home from work and then any text messages that seemed kinda off I would screenshot them and I would look app the number at a later time and back track it via Google. The information you can find on Google is crazy to me thank God for google. I eventually would get the person he was sending messages 2 send pictures as proof that they were together And evidence was unmistakable the things that she had sent made my stomach turn lowkey I could hear just what the episode of SNAPPED would have said about me if I had listened to that inner voice. After getting plenty of proof of his infidelity I eventually confronted him And here's where red flag number 4 comes into play. 🚩#4: He stated that I had become distant from him that I was more concerned with our child and school then I was with him and then also another thing that was basically as he said the straw that broke the camel's back was that I had put on weight. at this point in time I was Only 50 pounds heavier than when I got out of the military. He also mentioned that I didn't make time for him anymore Which was far from the truth if anything I always tried to push to have time with him on his days off but he was always "with his friends" I later found out that he was with her. Another reason he had given was that our relationship had grown stale and cold and boring and he wanted something exciting and new. I gave him the ultimatum either he picks me and our daughter or he picks his side piece. And true kid mentality he said it wasn't fair because he loved both me and her and he couldn't pick and he had the nerve to come up with the idea that we do a sister wife/polygamy type of relationship. 🚩#5: He even went As far to say that we should do an open relationship but primarily one where he would be in a relationship with someone but I would have to be faithful to him.another side note:he's not morman or LDS or muslim Very nicely I state did that it would be a cold day in hell when any of those options would be even viable to me.* Again I grew up in a traditional household where monogamy is a necessity And I also made it very clear when we started dating that I was a monogamous person so how this even became an idea in his head I have no idea.* So he tells me once he sees that I am dead serious that he chooses me and our daughter and I stated good choice and I thought that was the end of it until December of that year when I had heard his phone go off while he was again in the bathroom and I went to look at it and it was her and she had stated that He had left his wallet at her place when When he had seen her last week. I was feeling mad and when he came to sit back down on the couch I threw his phone at him I Called him out for the sleazy dog that he wasAnd brought up other harsh words Regarding events that had happened in the past years Since we had moved in with his parents. 🚩#6:He stated that he hasn't seen her since I had given him the ultimatum and that she is just trying to get rise out of me because he had told her that I had found out about her. Of course I did not believe him so once he left for work the following day I checked his Google location for the day that she had mentioned that he had left his wallet and lo and behold he had been at her house during that week and then also later in the day after the text he had been at her house again this time he was at her house for the better part of 3 hours when he strictly told me that he was gonna be super busy and working with yard tools where he would not be able to hear his phone go Off whenever I text or call him. * Yes I can hear you all screaming at me that I should have left him when he first had the affair but I don't know maybe I had my daughter in my mind and didn't want her to grow up in a broken household or whatever may be the case but for some stupid God forsaken reason I gave him another chance And kept giving him chance after chance every time I saw he had gone to her house* Eventually he had grown tired of the girl and then he settled back into being monogamous again and everything for the most part especially after covid happened was quiet and calm but that's what I thought. Queue cousin entering from left stage. Cousin ended up staying with us during COVID because again he had a falling out with his girlfriend now baby mama And one particular day I came home from working limited hours due to covid and I see an iPod that looks eerily similar to the one I had. Curious I looked at the back and low and behold there was still a sticker residue from A sticker that had previous There. Fun fact about my ipod I had an anime sticker That I had personally designed. Again curiosity got the better be and I unlock the ipod and check the serial number in IMEI numbers and check the same Info on the product box that I had gotten my ipod in and lo and behold they matched perfectly to a T. Stupidly optimistic I was hoping someone had found it where it might have been misplaced and I was hoping that my photos and videos were still on the ipod. But as I'm sure you're probably already guessing it was wiped clean and it was nothing but photos of and you guessed it cousin and his baby mama and their baby. every video and pic that I had on my ipod from when I first bought it In freshman year of high school to when I had eventually had my daughter Was gone forever. Cousin came out of the bathroom and asked what I was doing with his ipod. I'm sure you know where this conversation is going so I'm not gonna repeat it but let's just say a few harsh things were said and he eventually felt guilty for not coming to me and asking if the ipod was mine. I obviously gave it back to him because it had no more sentimental value to me because all my stuff was deleted and it was basically his at this point. So later that night I again leaned on Partner's shoulder and Express my grievances and how I didn't appreciate that he gaslet me into thinking that his cousin wouldn't take something out of his room when in later years it is found out that he did in fact I asked for an apology on the matter and he stated... 🚩#7: Why are you upset over something that happened in the past and over photos that Aren't that important.* Our daughter's entire birth was on the ipod by the way Not to mention all my pregnancy bump milestone photos were there too.Also I have fertility issues and was told carry children would be difficult...I think they meant conceiving because like a unicorn no morning sickness or any of the negative things you hear that comes with pregnancy* Later in the year 2020 partner's brother ended up moving out and moving about 2 hours North of us With his girlfriend now wife. In the same fashion as us not too soon after they moved into their new place they found out they were expecting their first child together. The entire pregnancy went by just as smoothly as mine but around December, Brother-in-law and cousin decided to do cross-country trip this is all that they told us we thought they were crazy because His brother-in-law was expecting his first child and cousin was expecting his second child And the babies were going to be due any day at most within the coming weeks. Well surprise surprise we get a call from brother-in-law's frantic wife stating something happened to brother in law and cousin and that she couldn't talk about it over the phone. When she eventually arrived she was hysterical, Tears rolling down her face I actually felt A sense of concern and dread for what she was about to say to us. So long story short cousin and brother-in-law had been working for unfavorable people and transporting unfavorable items across state lines. sil and cousins baby mama knew what they were doing and would tag along, they "didn't care because the money and their lives were good" * Brother-in-law's ex then gf had previously told me that he was working for the same unfavorable people and when I brought it up to 🚩#8: partner he said x is crazy don't listen to Her. (He later told he and fam always knew what bil and cousin were doing just never brought it up because 'thats cousin and bils business to tell us'* Again due to COVID the court system was delayed and brother-in-law did not go to jail right away. While we were awaiting a sentencing Brother-in-law set all the family down and asked us to look over his wife and kids (yes kids plural he ended up having a second child while awaiting sentencing stupid I know.) The rest of the family said they would look out for Brother-in-law's family. But here's where I'm going to sound like an a****** but I very plainly and bluntly told him that I will not look after his family because I did not marry "wife" and I did not have "kids" I also stated that he knew that he was expecting a kid and he went to do a run even though his kid was due any day and I also mentioned that he needs to suffer the consequences of his actions. To make it short the family looked at me like I was the devil for saying this but I have made it clear of where I stand when it comes to criminals and doing illegal activities. I also have made it very clear how I feel criminals should pay for their actions. I know this will sound cheesy but if you cannot do the Time do not do the crime. In my eyes this was a textbook case of f*** around and find out. I do not feel like I should bend over backwards when I am taking care of my own family and my own problems and adding my brother-in-law's problems to my plate. Again this is where I might lose people but as I previously I grew up in a traditional household where we pull our weight and take care our ourselves. Sister-in-law is now living with us she does not have a job, she does not want a job, she does not pitch in for any expenses. I am paying over 70% of the household expenses water, gas, Wi-Fi etc. * Also after looking at the mortgage payment statements the rent I pay my in-laws to stay in the house pays for more than half of the mortgage.* Sister-in-law does not pitch in a dime. She has no disability she can work she just chooses not to. Well if you couldn't guess it the house was tense for the rest of the time that brother-in-law was in the house until he was eventually sentenced and put in jail. So since brother-in-law has been in jail I still stick to the hole I don't help sister-in-law with anything pertaining to her, I don't ask her for anything. She's been making it a habit of calling my partner and having him move my car from the spots that Im able to get in front of the house before she got into the spot to have him move the car for her because she doesn't want to walk far with The kids. This was usually how things were done until yesterday when sister-in-law was calling my partner to have him move my car and he wouldn't answer because he was asleep due to being sick. So In a begrudging fashion I assume this was for her she calls me to have me move my car, I told her I don't mind the car being moved but she would have to come get the keys to move it as I was currently busy rearranging my Space, And that I was trying to get everything i needed to get done before my day was over cause this was my only day off during the week, And in A spoiled sounding tone she says whatever Forget about it. Later in the day when my partner had woken up he Received a call from Sister-in-law stating that I was being difficult and wouldn't move the car From my spot.* I think it's fair to Mention that there are plenty of spots In front of our house but for some reason she always wants to park where I park. She never calls anyone else who's parked in front of the house ,if they're parked there, to move their cars only me or my Partner.) Also full circle, I was cleaning out our family's "junk cabinet" yesterday during my cleaning frenzy and found my deer pen it was in fils work bag, and yes its mine says my rank and full name on it.(trust me it'll come into play) So after the call with sister-in-law partner starts berating me Stating that I'm a part of this family and that I should be helping everyone out nevermind that I pay 70% expenses and more then half of mortgage,among other things. I told him very sternly that I had let her know that she could come and move the car herself but I was currently busy. I also stated that I told her when When brother-in-law asked us to help out with his family that I would not be doing any favors I will not be dropping things at the Whim of a hat for sister-in-law. I have my own things I need to do I can't just be stopping what I'm doing just to help her just cause it'll make it more convenient for her. I also stated during the convo with partner that there are plenty Of Mother's whose Partners are also in the prison system Who have multiple kids who are doing just fine by themselves. And that sister-in-law needs to women up And handle things on her own. I also stated that I did not tell her to have the kids That was all her choice. I also stated that I have never asked or received help for anything during my time with him and his family. I've been a very self-sufficient independent person. I'd like to make it known that we primarily survive off my income alone most of his income that he gives to me goes into savings because I make a Remarkably large amount of money thanks to what I get from the VA and from my 40+ hr job in the federal sector. And with the hours I work I don't have to worry about childcare as I watch my daughter during the day, When partner comes home from his long day at work I will sleep for a couple of hours before I start my night shift, I also will sleep while my daughter is in school till I have to pick her up then I do housework and take care of my child till my Partner Comes home and cook dinner. The only reason we live with in-laws is to help them with the mortgage because the mortgage is so incredibly high in the area that we live in. So to reiterate I have never asked or needed help from any of partner's family. And I find it funny that they are now preaching that we're a family we need to help each other, Yet never once while I was living with them have ever offered help offer to watch a our child for the night or anything. Not that I would accept or anything just saying it would have been a nice gesture at the very least. But after partner said that we're family, I retaliated by saying family doesn't violate personal space and go in your room and steals your stuff. He sighed and said you're on that again and I said it's not just the ipod it is also the fact that your dad stole my deer pen. And that the ipod was and the deer pen is sentimental to me. Like a broken record I stated that the ipod had everything from my past that was irreplaceable memories of friends who are no longer with us and of our daughter's first breath into the world And the fact that he is not as mad as me about the fact that we no longer have the video of our daughter being brought into the World Is eye-opening. We ended the day on a sour note where he ended up sleeping on the couch and I in our bed. which has led me to write out my emotions because I just want to scream at him for 🚩#9: everytime he gave his free time to his family,when I couldn't even get 2 hours a day to just chat, the little bit of time I did get with him he just wants to "sit in silence" where he ends spends the time on tiktok. Also whenever I find out when i have a day off usually a month in advance. I try to plan an "US" day where its just me, him, and our daughter.spoiler alert I rarely if ever get to share a day off with him and when he manages one, on the day we had plans he says something along the lines of I have to do a tree trimmng job or fix a sprinkler head, he states "won't take long" then will call and say he'll be bit longer, rinse and repeat this and he spends the whole day at his clients house fixing his fuck up. no hes not seeing AP I have untraceable GPS trackers secretly hidden in all the vehicles, and no not illegal I legally own and insure all our vehicles at my suggestion due problems with the parents. Also partner owns piece of fils business so in a way its keeping track of work equipment in case it gets stolen. I've gotten to the point where the moment he says he's gonna take longer than planned I just leave with my daughter and do what I had planned like go to the zoo, museum, trampoline park, etc. Partner does not call me all day. im at the point idc,still frustrated but don't care. Also here's the cherry on the cake usually when me and daughter go out we get back right when partner gets home and is unpacking the work vehicle and he has this look like were you out of the house all day? Which is confirm with that very question coming from his mouth. I send our child to go in the house sensing where the convo was leading to and once she was out of ear shot. Again very bluntly I tell im not gonna cancel my day if your not gonna prioritize me and our daughter's time I had plans for today I told you in advance you made your choice of which is more important so while you used your day off to do an extra job I used my day off to make memories with our child. In true child fashion he says but I wanted to go to insert place too. You should've just waited to go on a different day. I tell him that he always postpones or comes up with a reason not to go (too expensive, too hot, will be crowded, blah blah blah) so instead I will make the plan to go tell him ahead of time if he takes time off great if not no sweat im still going. Boy he got so irritated for being called out especially when our daughter yelled from the doorway dad you always cancel on us. BTW daughter is unaware of partners affair on the day that I confronted him a close friend that I had told of my situation told me and partner that her daughter wanted to do a sleepover I was unaware this was her sneaky way of helping me. I just took advantage of the empty nest situation I'm sorry if this is more of a rant but my anger and emotions all over the place I'm half tempted of just ending things cutting ties with him and his family because they expect me to change my morality, which I'm very uncomfortable with that. Everything that I was taught respect the relationship your in, respect the law, dont do anything illegal etc these are basic common sense things. Mil, bil, and partner did not respect their relationships or partner. Mil and partner cheated (not with eachother gross but with other people). Bil left pregnant wife alone, due to have a baby anyday, to do something illegal. Also the mental abuse i deal with Partner's sisters bullying me by critiquing how my parents raised me, on my parenting, calling me a hypocrite on my morality because I was trying to pin a baby on partner (was not true he was given the choice to leave all the way up until before delivery) I'm just mentally, physically and emotionally tired. And separation is looking really like a good idea. I've asked for family and couples counseling, inlaws and partner say "we don't have issues you do,why dont you get it, your too needy and selfish always wanting to spend alone time with partner" Thats why I'm turning to reddit one to vent/rant and two for second opinions. I try to limit what I tell bout my family to my parents friends and sibs partly because I hate painting people I've chosen to keep in my life in a bad light also my dad and brothers wouldve have made partner and inlaws take a dirt nap in the desert if I had told them what they've been putting me through and what partner did around time of covid, no trace or evidence think scene from boondocks of the assassin who "took care of" the entire family.only my close friend has seen and knows the full extent of what I've gone through, so she could be a witness to my family if partner tries to spin this around in his favor. But also she suggest the reddit route so I can get opinions and see if maybe I'm seeing this in a different light like seeing this though a different POV. Any advice or insight would be appreciated. I know I most likely am gonna get hate for this next thing I about to say as well But when we found out she was pregnant with the second kid I said with a great deal of concern that she should "take care of it" because "if you arent sure if you can handle two kids while brother in law is away then maybe keeping this one isn't the best choice" Again family looks at me like I'm the devil for suggesting this.Just so It's made clear I was not pushing her to get an abortion I was just trying to make it clear to her that she is going to be having 2 kids under the age of 2 in her care While her husband is away. Also for further insight cousin broke up with baby mama while she was pregnant with second kid but after it was too late to do anything about it when baby mama announced her pregnancy (prior to the crime) i voiced my same concerns with her,in standard young dumb full of it fashion she state "we are in this ride or die" and now she cries to me saying she can't handle two kids and "why did i have a second one" baby mama is now regretting her decision.For any single parent taking care of two kids is a daunting task so I was just looking out for her mental health due to the fact that she would be Taking care of 2 kids by herself at the same time her partner was going to be going to jail for an undisclosed amount of time and at the time not knowing if she might have ppd like some people have after having Irish twins.

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION & INDICATIONS Do not use if you are allergic to dupilumab or to any of the ingredients in DUPIXENT®. Before using DUPIXENT tell, your healthcare provider about all your medical conditions, including if you: • have eye problems. • have a parasitic (helminth) infection. • are scheduled to receive any vaccinations. You should not receive a “live vaccine” right before and during treatment with DUPIXENT. • are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known whether DUPIXENT will harm your unborn baby. • A pregnancy registry for women who take DUPIXENT during pregnancy collects information about the health of you and your baby. To enroll or get more information call 1-877-311-8972 or go to https://mothertobaby.org/ongoing-study/dupixent/. • are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. It is not known whether DUPIXENT passes into your breast milk. 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Stop using DUPIXENT and tell your healthcare provider or get emergency help right away if you get any of the following signs or symptoms: breathing problems or wheezing, swelling of the face, lips, mouth, tongue or throat, fainting, dizziness, feeling lightheaded, fast pulse, fever, hives, joint pain, general ill feeling, itching, skin rash, swollen lymph nodes, nausea or vomiting, or cramps in your stomach-area. • Eye problems. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new or worsening eye problems, including eye pain or changes in vision, such as blurred vision. Your healthcare provider may send you to an ophthalmologist for an exam if needed. • Inflammation of your blood vessels. Rarely, this can happen in people with asthma who receive DUPIXENT. This may happen in people who also take a steroid medicine by mouth that is being stopped or the dose is being lowered. It is not known whether this is caused by DUPIXENT. 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The most common side effects include: • Eczema: injection site reactions, eye and eyelid inflammation, including redness, swelling, and itching, sometimes with blurred vision, dry eye, cold sores in your mouth or on your lips, and high count of a certain white blood cell (eosinophilia). • Asthma: injection site reactions, high count of a certain white blood cell (eosinophilia), pain in the throat (oropharyngeal pain), and parasitic (helminth) infections. • Chronic rhinosinusitis with Nasal Polyposis: injection site reactions, eye and eyelid inflammation, including redness, swelling, and itching, sometimes with blurred vision, high count of a certain white blood cell (eosinophilia), gastritis, joint pain (arthralgia), trouble sleeping (insomnia), and toothache. • Eosinophilic Esophagitis: injection site reactions, upper respiratory tract infections, cold sores in your mouth or on your lips, and joint pain (arthralgia). • Prurigo Nodularis: eye and eyelid inflammation, including redness, swelling, and itching, sometimes with blurred vision, herpes virus infections, common cold symptoms (nasopharyngitis), dizziness, muscle pain, and diarrhea. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away. These are not all the possible side effects of DUPIXENT. Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088. Use DUPIXENT exactly as prescribed by your healthcare provider. It’s an injection given under the skin (subcutaneous injection). Your healthcare provider will decide if you or your caregiver can inject DUPIXENT. Do not try to prepare and inject DUPIXENT until you or your caregiver have been trained by your healthcare provider. In children 12 years of age and older, it’s recommended DUPIXENT be administered by or under supervision of an adult. In children 6 months to less than 12 years of age, DUPIXENT should be given by a caregiver. Please see accompanying full Prescribing Information including Patient Information. INDICATIONS DUPIXENT is a prescription medicine used: • to treat adults and children 6 months of age and older with moderate-to-severe eczema (atopic dermatitis or AD) that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin (topical), or who cannot use topical therapies. DUPIXENT can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. It is not known if DUPIXENT is safe and effective in children with atopic dermatitis under 6 months of age. • with other asthma medicines for the maintenance treatment of moderate-to-severe eosinophilic or oral steroid dependent asthma in adults and children 6 years of age and older whose asthma is not controlled with their current asthma medicines. DUPIXENT helps prevent severe asthma attacks (exacerbations) and can improve your breathing. DUPIXENT may also help reduce the amount of oral corticosteroids you need while preventing severe asthma attacks and improving your breathing. DUPIXENT is not used to treat sudden breathing problems. 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This is my first post, but just wanted to get out some thoughts I've had regarding the story trailer and some of the lore surrounding the creation of the Erdtree, as well as The Gloam Eyed Queen. Never written something like this before so I apologize if the formatting isn't the best, but just wanting to have some discussion around this. A lot of this discussion isn't new, so I wont be delving into those areas as much to reduce length.

Melina is The Gloam Eyed Queen

I don't think this is a new theory amongst the Elden Ring community, it's long been talked about after seeing Melina's cutscene during the Lord of Frenzied Flame ending where we can see her eye. However, I do think this is important for me to establish as I go deeper into my theories.
I won't go too deep into this section, so I apologize if this is brief, I just don't wish to rehash a lot of already discussed points. My main reasons for this are two fold:

1. Melina clearly has a Gloam colored eye in the cutscene
2. Melina's purpose seems to be related to bringing Destined Death to The Lands Between, a power wielded by TGEQ

Melina is the Daughter of Marika

Again, nothing new. We know in the files that Melina is referred to as "MaricaOfDaughter". She follows a similar naming scheme to Miquella, Melania, Margott, Mohg, and Messmer. She talks about being given her purpose from her mother inside the Erdtree. I feel like the evidence is pretty overwhelmingly clear in this case, so I won't elaborate much further here either.
Okay, now for the juicy bits that will be a bit of conjecture but I believe have a fair amount of evidence backing them up.

The Timeline of the Erdtree and Elden Ring in General

Marika's Rune in the Story Trailer
In the new story trailer we see Marika forming what most believe to be the Elden Ring, or at the very least the birth of the Golden Order. However, I think this is a little bit of a logical jump. In the trailer we see Marika holding the strands that she's plucked out, yet they only make 1 shape: The rune at the top of the Elden Ring, which I will refer to as Queen Marika's Seal. It is also possible it is the bottom shape, although I assume that is just a Rune Arc.
https://preview.redd.it/egtki4wqrs3d1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=aac459c54fd7a57a8f59308294b855c2a55aecca
https://preview.redd.it/e6imoijwrs3d1.png?width=3840&format=png&auto=webp&s=4fa87cf1e36222be358b03bcb690ca6c425fa6c5
I don't think we can say 100% that Marika had created the entirety of the Elden Ring at the point in the trailer, rather she had created her own rune, allowing her to infuse her will into the Elden Ring later on.
The Crucible
Most people are assuming that the tree like structure we see in the story trailer is the primordial Erdtree, referred to as the Crucible. I, too, believe this assumption to be true. The main reasons for this being the similarities to that screenshot and the opening at the base of the Erdtree
https://preview.redd.it/0ock0fcrss3d1.png?width=1102&format=png&auto=webp&s=32d25b4e3bf52ff2befb8035dcac9aebfd257ae9
https://preview.redd.it/k88ymmutss3d1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=c8c2845d815c498e30962767e8e9b4060525b925
Beyond this, we have clear references to the Omen in the new Lion Headed boss that is being fought in the story trailer. I think it is a safe assumption to make that the shot we see in the trailer is Marika forming her rune at the Crucible, thereby turning it into the Erdtree or at least beginning the process of it's transformation.
The Elden Ring BEFORE the Golden Order
We know from the Remembrance of the Dragonlord that Placidusax was an Elden Lord before the time of the Erdtree, implying that there was an Elden Ring before the Golden Order.
https://preview.redd.it/ptj9fefpts3d1.png?width=505&format=png&auto=webp&s=f7abc127bb45c31258e5dd55e7722a8d2606100d
This also makes sense, when considering Destined Death. If Marika had created the Elden Ring, why would Destined Death even exist? She had to pluck it from The Golden Order when it was created, however The Golden Order isn't synonymous with the Elden Ring, it is a system of belief encompassing The Elden Ring, The Erdtree, and Queen Marika.
https://preview.redd.it/7ojn7eyaus3d1.png?width=502&format=png&auto=webp&s=0d16ae0327be1cd1373fd3c737b0aa4c0ad981fe
https://preview.redd.it/syhjqlpkus3d1.png?width=375&format=png&auto=webp&s=15c439c3b487d492bede04dface22d86318e9787
Thus, I believe that the scene we see during the cutscene is actually Marika's creation of her rune, and subsequently the Erdtree, but NOT the Golden Order or the Elden Ring we know. I believe at the time she creates the Rune, Placidusax is actually the current Elden Lord with an unknown God in charge of the existing "Elden Ring" (quotations explained later).
The Following War
In the gameplay trailer we see the Wicker Golems, who would later be seen in the story trailer laying waste to a Crucible civilization, led by Messmer. On the Wicker Golems we can see the heads of Fire Giants and Dragons. around their waist
https://preview.redd.it/2mc5d08nvs3d1.png?width=923&format=png&auto=webp&s=b4e7c14a78b6c399ab81c49ca5558cf368b07f0c
https://preview.redd.it/3ll3b45uvs3d1.png?width=1171&format=png&auto=webp&s=7a32c2ed12a8fa30f8978f7506de397f42829c57
This part is where it is a little fuzzy for me, as we do not know if the Crucible war or the War of the Giants came first, however it is clear that the golems are used in both. The only thing we know about the War of the Giants comes from the description of Smithing Stone (7)
https://preview.redd.it/kllzi3l4ws3d1.png?width=778&format=png&auto=webp&s=5b5d362eaa25b0ba3a496ff89518dbccd6da4e1c
To me, I think this implies that the War against the Giants came first, however I'm not sure it truly matters. Ultimately we know that there was a War against the Giants, and that somehow Dragons were also involved.
My theory is this: After creating the Erdtree, Queen Marika needed to be rid of the current existing God so that she could assume the throne, as well as remove the Giants ability to burn the Erdtree, thus preventing the Golden Order from taking over. Some evidence for this is found on the description for the Elden Lord Armor
https://preview.redd.it/qe7ja62zws3d1.png?width=372&format=png&auto=webp&s=0a328464782d37847133a21fc015a496ad0e7c3b
Note that it does not say Godfrey was the Elden Lord at this time, merely Lord of the Battlefield (Likely still as Horah Loux).
After this, with Marika having won this war, she was able to fully create the Golden Order. From there she could have Messmer destroy the vestiges of the Crucible civilization, who were likely rebelling due to their tree being turned into the Erdtree. Marika also potentially utilized the Giant's Flame in the Wicker Golems (or maybe even powering Messmer himself, although I admit this is all conjecture, but somewhat makes sense as only that flame was a threat to the Erdtree).

Connecting the Dots

So, with this established I believe the timeline is as follows

1. Marika creates her Rune at the base of the Crucible, turning it into the Erdtree
2. Following this, she wages war on the existing civilizations of The Lands Between, to remove the current God/Lord. and establish the Golden Order
3. She then uses her newfound power to fully wipe out the Crucible and thus completely remove all resistance.

But why did I bring up TGEQ and where does she fit into this?

The Gloam Eyed Queen: Revisited

We know that they only way to kill a God/Demigod is the use of Destined Death. We also know that TGEQ wielded this power, as well as her servants, the Godskin Apostles.
Similarly, we know that Melina was given a purpose by her mother (Marika) at the base of the Erdtree. That purpose seems to be bringing Destined Death to The Lands Between.
My theory on this is as follows:
Melina was Marika's first child, to an unknown father. Melina showed an aptitude for utilizing the current powers of the previously "Elden Ring", more specifically the powers of Destined Death. Seeing this, Marika realized she could use Melina to kill the existing Gods and allow her to create the Golden Order and thus gave Melina her purpose: Bring Destined Death to The Lands Between
Melina led her Godskin Apostles to kill all the Demigods in the Lands Between, and ultimately the currently existing God, allowing Marika to take the "Elden Ring" and remake it, by removing Destined Death. Maliketh is referenced as the person who defeated TGEQ, and is Queen Marika's shadow. What if the existing God was the one the Fire Giants worshipped, and by defeating them and their God, Marika was given access to the Giant's Flame. She then had Maliketh betray Melina, by using her as Kindling, thereby transporting Maliketh to Farum Azula where Marika would effectively imprison him along with the Rune of Death she had just plucked out. This would explain why Melina is burned, why she still seeks to bring Destined Death to the Lands Between, and how TGEQ was an Empyrean.

The Previous "Elden Ring"

I want to call specific attention to the reference of the Storm Lord in the Elden Lord Armor description. Placidusax is found at the heart of the storm in Farum Azula, a place only reached after using the Giant's Flame in game. Even further we can see on the description of the Old Lord's Talisman that Placidusax was an ancient king. I believe that Placidusax and the Giants were both part of the same faction, united under the same God. During that battle, their God fled, with Godfrey fighting Placidusax. The description never mentions that Godfrey killed Placidusax, merely that he faced him alone. When his God fell, and Maliketh used Melina as kindling, he realized that the war was over and went to Farum Azula in a stasis (which is possible since he can fly).
https://preview.redd.it/dbq83pkp1t3d1.png?width=743&format=png&auto=webp&s=7cbde62ae5193cda7079c01ab7e7b6b1b888e1da
His reference as Storm Lord also makes me wonder if the previous "Elden Ring" wasn't actually called that, but was instead something like the Storm Ring. This part is a little farfetched but just something I've mused over.

How is Placidusax an "Elden Lord" (SUPER CONJECTURE HERE)

This last theory is a pretty big reach, I will admit, but something I want to share to get some discussion around. In the description of the Remembrance of the Dragonlord it is mentioned that Placidusax's God had fled, not that he was killed.
Another piece I've noticed, much like many others, is that the Fire Giants' hair is red, the same as Radagon. In the description of Giant's Red Braid we see the following
https://preview.redd.it/jy19u1ms2t3d1.png?width=405&format=png&auto=webp&s=82f818cd0565e3db42374c433c0d4c74b7244fd0
This is a very farfetched theory, but what if in the War against the Giants instead of killing their God, Marika absorbed him. The God, facing Destined Death, would be inclined to be absorbed instead, allowing him to live on. This would ultimately be seen as "fleeing" and thus would end the war. It would explain why Marika is two beings, and could ultimately explain how Messmer would have fire powers (He would be the first child of Radagon and Marika). It also somewhat explains why there's only 1 chair missing at the base of the Erdtree, as Melina would've been born BEFORE the Golden Order, but Messmer would not.
Radagon, being a new entity in Marika, would not understand himself or who he was, explaining why he would hate his hair. However, he would also yearn to be a God once more, explaining why he would seek to mend the Elden Ring at the end of the game.
Even further, this could explain why Miquella/Marika are somewhat cursed, as they are born of two conflicting Gods (this is a stretch I know).
I'll end this with the last description I find relevant to these theories, as this has gotten a bit long and I really only meant for this to incite discussion:
https://preview.redd.it/7il24m8j3t3d1.png?width=515&format=png&auto=webp&s=8db17c8c0cc7bbf6fe2b797dc7f1466576305d70
If you managed to read this far, thank you. I know this was long but I really appreciate your time. Let me know what you think of this below!

Hey moms- I was wondering if anyone still uses Clorox or similar disinfecting wipes? I have tried to stop and be more conscious of toxic cleaning products but admittedly, I worry non disinfecting products are not cleaning well enough. I have a sensitivity to bleach so I can’t really use that. I wouldn’t use them on baby’s high chair or anything. I’m mainly talking about on kitchen counters and in bathrooms.
I’ve been really overwhelmed with all the “this is toxic” information I see on social media constantly. I guess I just wanted some opinions from other moms on this topic.. thanks in advance!