Helping 1st grader write letters

Okay so I posted before but deleted it, summary goes like this:
19F, suicidal since 12, BPD, sh addict, stealing alcohol since 12, living alone in nyc quit my job and probably getting kicked out soon.
So I don’t see a future for myself and I’m about to have nowhere to live. I’m thinking if I should end it soon as I don’t see what point there is to living anymore. I just have a few friends I don’t want to betray and I don’t know what to do about them I need advice on how to handle them. Should I write a note? I don’t know what to write and I feel like expressing my problems after I’m dead is such a horrible thing to do because they would feel horrible not noticing. I feel like I would leave more questions then answers. Should I try being horrible to them until they cut me out? Would that be better? I’m really lost on what to do here. I don’t have a lot of time to plan this out so if anyone could help

This is going to sound very odd and if you are here to judge than you can go ahead and leave, anyways thanks to anyone who reads this and responds.
For the sake of my and her privacy I will give her the name “Mandy” and me the name “Jack”
3 years ago I was a 17 year old kid in the mix of Covid trying to get girls attention, I ended up on discord, I had a year long relationship with a girl named Sophia, and we just broke up, I was devastated, I could not eat, drink, sleep, anything. But I got through it, through this girl I met a guy named Sam, Sam has been one of the best friends of my life, a few weeks after the breakup Sam introduced me to Mandy, Mandy and me clicked immediately, it was like we knew each other forever yet we knew nothing about another, Mandy is the most loving, compassionate, caring, worrying, mom mode, pretty, smart, funny girl I have ever me, and I was simply drawn to her. We stared texting everyday and from that point to now I am haven’t gone more than a week without texting. Mandy is from Denver CO, and I am from Charlotte North Carolina.
This is where things get crazy. We fell in love, or so we thought in summer 2022, but we only lasted 3 months. We decided for each others mental health and sleep schedule (2 hour time zone difference) that we would go back to being best friends, at this point we were incredibly close. And we stay close and she doesn’t date anyone for a long time, summer 2023 roles around, I am 19 and she is 18, I fly by myself since I am of age to fly alone, with the help of both our parents I visited her for a week. Before, then, I genuinely have never felt so in love with anyone my whole entire life. I have severe ADHD, I was so shy when I first saw her when I got off my flight, I didn’t hug her, smile, nothing, I was numb. She gave me a giant bear hug that kind of woke me up out of it. I still regret not hugging her back, we leave the airport and go to McDonalds, and jus like over text and FaceTime we clicked, once I got out of my shell it’s like I’ve lived near her my entire life. She was so stunning. We both smiled at each other 24/7 all day everyday. We effortlessly made eachother laugh, and it was perfect.
Fast forward to now and I think it’s clear I will never stop loving this girl. She admitted to me that I am her soulmate that she can’t be with because it just wouldn’t work. She tells me she loves me every night when I go to bed, she always makes sure that I tell her when I get home from places, and I do the same, I deeply feel loved by this girl, I didn’t mention it before but I will now, Mandy is the most mature girl I have ever met for her age, it’s insane. She’s the type of girl that if anything bad happens type of girl that if anything bad happened to her to her I would fly there and be by her bed all day everyday as long as she’s there I’m there.
I plan fly there again in July and stay for another week, this time around, I’m giving her the bear hug, I cannot wait to see her, she calls me her rock, and she is my rock.
So here’s the question, what do I do from here?
I want to spend the rest of my life by her side, but I don’t know if I can, I would move across the country for her in a heart beat.
I want to reinforce to you all how strong our bond and relationship is. I know I can only write so much but I’m closer to this girl than my brothers and sisters.
I love her enough to know that I want her to be happy above all, and if that means not being with her and watching another man marry her than I can live with that. But I’ll never, ever love another woman like I love Mandy.
Every guy she’s dated has broke her heart. Every girl that I have dated have broken mine. But she is always right there by my side. And I will never be able to thank her enough for that. She is the one who got me through my teenage years without losing control. And I could say the same for her as well.
I turn 21 in October and she turns 20, 19 days after I turn 21.
Thank you to those who read all the way through. And I am open to absolutely any advice or conversation anyone would like to give me.
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TL;DR;: This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, all things are bold. Is this going the right way?
To summarize she is perfect in my eyes and I want to be with her but don’t think I can, we have been best friends for years and I would like advice on what to do.

Hi people, first I thank everyone who read this all <3 I know it’s long but still like 1% of all. I need advice how to make my husband want to comunicate with me. We’re often arguing, bcz I’m slow and not skilled like him and not very clever, he has way better decision making etc. He taught me many things my parents didn’t. In some ways he was my parent more like my real parents, if you know what I mean. I know that I’m like this and now it’s way better when I realized it. But some things I can’t change even if I try. But we’re together since our 14years (now 12years, 1 married) so he knew me for long time before. Last argue he said that we should do some things separately, like go to gym etc, bcz I slow him and he don’t know how to live slow. There were many things, I can write whole book about this, but this is main problem - my stupidity and clumsiness. I drop things every day more than once. I’m learning to drive many months and I’m not very good after months (I have license, but didn’t drive bcz my fatherdidn’t want to teach me) and this os what made the whole thing worse and every drive ended in yelling and me making mistakes. We end yelling at each other and than we talk after hours in silence like nothing happened everytime. I thought that he was wrong, he thought I was wrong, but we love each other so we talked and many times I was apologizing. And than it is one big vicious circle. Because in 99% of cases he is in rush to spend more free time together. And he feels that I don’t give a ** about our time, but many times it is that I don’t realize my slowness, it’s not disinterest. We were always only me and him, families didn’t want us to be together. We couldn’t watch movie together bcz we could see each other only outside. Everytime we did all things together. And now (or it was always but I was blind, idk….) it’s more important where he is (or circumstances) than with who he is.
I give you example: Yesterday was our first wedding anniversary, we were in town and on the way home we went to buy food. He took one box of meat, I asked why only one (I wanted to do more food so that it would be ready for work the next day, as sometimes I am criticized for not caring enough) and he said that I should rather do more than speak. So I went back for the second one, he for something else, in the meantime he sent me to the cashier. We missed the bus by about 20-30 seconds, which I think would have happened anyway, since there were many people at the cashier. We arrived home about 20 minutes later than with 1. bus. Of course, he was nervous right away. We had a plan to go to the woods with the dog and then play a game at home. But the day ended for him because I slowed things, he is looking forward to when he will be at work and basically we had a fight and we haven't even talked since. In this case, it seems completely exaggerated to me. We could watch something on my mobile during that time, I had headphones, so we could also listen to something and have fun on the anniversary...he does mind a few extra minutes, but he doesn't mind hours and days of arguments and silence.
When I tell him my feelings, he’s like he doesn’t care because I don’t care. I begged him many times, that we should talk and not yell. So he talks but the same words that are killing me. And I want him to realize that it’s not all ONLY my fault. He sometimes make mistakes like everyone, but I’m not like this, I rather look for another solution and don’t make argument from this. But many times he didn’t do things he say, for example shopping, wash dish, do laundry (last time was my mistake I didn’t remind him while I was at work) etc…it was not important for him, but for me it was. Or he does things but than I listen for a week what he did. I don’t have cleanest home, bcz I rather spend time in other ways, but basics I try to do every day.
Many times after arguments he told me that he had depression or anxiety, because he want to be nice to me. But he says he don’t want to yell at me and than after few hours/days it’s the same. So he don’t want or want? In basic life he’s the best and cutest person I know.
He told me last argument, that he don’t know how to live different and that his father was rushing his mooooore than me. In past he wanted from me to slow him. And it’s my mistake I didn’t put more emphasis in it. But it’s rare that he do what I say, so I’m a bit used to not tell things. Now I realize, it can be result of me not keeping my word many times, bcz I thought that I can change myself, but some things I can’t or don’t know how yet. And I’m not very confident person and he’s like alfa, so I often think it’s pointless to say something, but I feel I need to change it.
I want to help him not to be so anxious and angry. And not in such rush. I want us to know how to enjoy life not only live. How can I start? He’s ignoring me completely.
tl;dr We are blaming each other for our mistakes, he’s angry because I’m not very smart and clumsy, so I slow him in life. But paradox is, that he’s in rush for spend time together, but than he don’t talk to me for hours. I think some things he’s blaming me for he should just accept like I accepted many his imperfections and accepted many similar situations. And need advice how to enjoy our life not only survive and make him talk to me.

Thereafter for four years more Beren wandered still upon Dorthonion, a solitary outlaw; but he became the friend of birds and beasts, and they aided him, and did not betray him, and from that time forth he ate no flesh nor slew any living thing that was not in the service of Morgoth.
Welcome one and all again to the 2024 Read-Along and Discussion of The Silmarillion here on tolkienfans. For Week 23 (Jun 2-Jun 8), we will be exploring The Quenta Silmarillion (The History of the Silmarils) chapter 19, "Of Beren and Lúthien."
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Following the Dagor Bragollach, Barahir and his companions continued to defend their land, Dorthonion. It was to Tarn Aeluin, a lake in the east of that country, that they made their abode. Morgoth could not discover it, and he ordered Sauron to eliminate them. Through Sauron's devices, a member of the group named Gorlim was deceived into revealing the retreat of Barahir, and the company was slain by Sauron's Orcs. All perished, except Beren, son of Barahir, who was away on a perilous errand at the time. Coming to Beren in a dream, a wraith of Gorlim told him all and urged him to return in haste. Alas, he came too late and found his kin slain. He buried his father, and slew the band of orcs responsible, reclaiming from them the Ring of Felagund.
Thus Beren roamed Dorthonion, slaughtering many servants of Morgoth, and so a bounty was set upon his head, and Sauron's armies hounded him to such an extent that he was forced to flee Dorthonion. Journeying through the horrors and terrors of Ered Gorgoroth and Nan Dungortheb he came at length, by paths untrodden, to Doriath, where no mortal had yet been before.
Staggering into the woods of Neldoreth, he chanced upon Lúthien, daughter of Thingol and Melian, dancing in a clearing beside Esgalduin. He became utterly enchanted by her, and his agony departed him, for Lúthien was the most beautiful of all of the Children of Ilúvatar. He called out to her, naming her Tinúviel and as she looked on him, doom fell upon her, and she loved him. For a brief time, long ago in the woods of Doriath, their joy was the greatest that has been, amongst any of the Children of Ilúvatar.
However, Daeron the minstrel loved Lúthien also, and betrayed them to Thingol, who was wrathful. For Lúthien he set above all things, while of mortal Men he took little heed. And so Thingol demanded to know Beren's business in Doriath. Finding resolve, Beren answered that his fate led him to what he sought not — Lúthien. At this, many thought Beren would be slain. Indeed desiring his death, Thingol set upon him the nigh hopeless task of bringing to him a Silmaril from the crown of Morgoth. Only then would he allow Beren to receive Lúthien as his bride. Thus began in earnest, the Quest of the Silmaril.
Turning towards Nargothrond, Beren sought out the counsel of Finrod Felagund, who, recalling his vow to the kin of Barahir, gathered together a band of his most loyal chieftains. Departing from Angband, Felagund used his craft to disguise the group as a pack of orcs, and so they hoped to pass by Tol-in-Gaurhoth unnoticed. But Sauron was suspicious of them, and duelled long in song with Felagund. But alas the victory belonged to Sauron, and stripping them of their disguises, they were made to languish in a deep pit. One-by-one, Sauron sent werewolves to devour the companions in the hope of obtaining their purpose, but all were faithful to their lord. When the wolf came for Beren, Felagund slew it with his bare hands, but in doing so, was mortally wounded. Bidding Beren a final farewell, he died in the darkness of Tol-in-Gaurhoth, the tower he himself had built long ago. Thus ended the fairest and most beloved of the Noldor, Finrod Felagund.
In the hour of Beren's capture, a heaviness fell upon the heart of Lúthien and she left Doriath in pursuit of him. Encountering Celegorm and Curufin, and Huan, the Hound of the Valar, she was glad, but through treachery, the two brothers took her as prisoner to Nargothrond. But Huan had grown to love her and for the first time spoke, giving her counsel, and helped her to escape. With speed, the two came to Tol-in-Gaurhoth at the hour of Felagund's death, and Sauron smiled. For he knew a great reward would await him for the capture of Lúthien, daughter of the Maia Melian. So he sent wolves, including Draugluin, father of werewolves, to capture her, but Huan slew them all. Then Sauron came himself—taking the form of a mighty wolf—and fought with Huan, but not even he could defeat the Hound of the Valar. Thus he was forced to yield Tol-in-Gaurhoth to Lúthien, and he fled. Lúthien removed the ill shadow from that Isle, and came to Beren. Together, they buried the body of Felagund and left that place. And Huan returned to his master, Celegorm.
By chance, the two brothers Celegorm and Curufin came upon Beren and Lúthien near to the Forest of Brethil, and sought to take Lúthien by force and kill Beren. But in that hour, Huan forsook the service of Celegorm and came to the aid of Beren, who leapt onto the horse of Curufin, knocking him off. After taking horse and knife Angrist from Curufin, Beren bade him return, impoverished, to his kin. Being humiliated, Curufin took the bow of Celegorm and fired at Lúthien. Springing to protect her, Beren was hit. Huan pursued the brothers who fled, and upon returning, he brought a herb to Lúthien who, by her craft, healed Beren. Eventually, they returned to Doriath.
There, Beren left Lúthien in the care of Huan and departed for Angband. Arriving at the borders of Anfauglith, Beren lamented in the belief that this would be his final peril and sung the farewell Song Of Parting. But unsought for, Lúthien appeared upon Huan, and came to him once more. Huan spoke for the second time then, counselling Beren that he could no longer save Lúthien from her fate. And so, taking the guise of Draugluin, and the bat-like messenger-of-Sauron Thuringwethil, together Beren and Lúthien passed through perils untold until they arrived, weary and weather-worn, at the Gates of Angband.
To their dismay, guarding the entrance to Angband was a creature of whom no news had previously reached the ears of the Noldor: the great wolf Carcharoth. He was suspicious of them, for news of the demise of Draugluin had reached Angband, and approached them with menace. But by some power of Lúthien, she commanded the wolf to slumber, and into unconsciousness he fell. Then Beren and Lúthien crossed the threshold of Angband, descended down the subterranean chambers, and together wrought the greatest deed that has ever been dared, by Elves or by Men, in the history of Arda. For they arrived in the throne-room of Morgoth — a court filled with horrors untold, where Balrogs patrolled. Lúthien's disguise was robbed of her by the will of Morgoth, and, standing before his gaze, she began to sing for him a song of such outstanding power and beauty, that he was put into dreams of the Void, and he slammed into the ground, unconscious. All his court slumbered. Then removing his wolf-hame, Beren cut, with Angrist, a Silmaril from the crown of Morgoth. It occurred to him then to bring out of Angband not one, but all three Silmarils. But such was not his fate, for Angrist snapped, and a fragment smote the cheek of Morgoth. He groaned. All the legions of Angband stirred in their sleep.
Then fear and terror unknown fell upon Beren and Lúthien, and realising their imminent peril, they fled. But alas, at the surface, they found Carcharoth conscious and wrathful. Beren held the Silmaril high; Carcharoth hesitated, and for a moment was afraid. But his spirit flew into a rage, and he bit off the right hand of Beren, consuming the Silmaril. It seared his innards, and he fled south, howling in a fit of madness.
The fangs of Carcharoth were laced with venom, and death approached Beren. So the Quest of the Silmaril would have ended in despair, but unlooked for, Thorondor came with his Eagles to the aid of Beren and Lúthien, even while droves issued forth from the Gates of Angband, and bore the two away from the reach of Morgoth. South they flew, passing above the hidden city of Gondolin, shining like a jewel in the sun. Yet Lúthien wept, for she feared the death of Beren. The Eagles left them at the borders of Doriath, in the same glade where Beren had left Lúthien and departed on the Quest. Huan came to Lúthien and again, and the two of them tended to him. There he lay, in dreams of anguish, until, as Lúthien's last hopes were fading, he awoke. And it was spring.
Thereafter, he was given the name Erchamion, "the One-handed". The two then tarried for a time in those woods, for it was pleasant to them, but Beren would not forget his Oath to Thingol. So after a time they returned to Doriath, which had fallen into grief at the loss of Lúthien. News of their coming had spread far, and they arrived in Menegroth with a large following.
Beren and Lúthien told the tale of their Quest, to the astonishment of all. It seemed to Thingol then that the Man before him was among the great in Arda, and Lúthien's love was a thing strange to him. It came to his mind then that no power of Elves or Men, or Maiar or Valar, or any other power in Arda, might interfere with their fate. And his mood towards Beren was softened. Thus, at last he relented, and Beren took the hand of Lúthien before the throne of her father.
For a time, there may have been some semblance of peace and joy in Doriath, but out of the north came the beast Carcharoth. A hunting party was assembled, consisting of Huan, the Hound of the Valar, Mablung of the Heavy Hand, Beleg Strongbow, Beren Erchamion, and Thingol, King of Doriath. As they rode forth for the Hunting of the Wolf, a shadow fell upon Lúthien, and to her it seemed as though the world had been drained of all colour, and beauty, and life. The party came upon Carcharoth near the northern waterfalls of Esgalduin. The wolf leapt for Thingol, but Beren came between them, suffering a deadly wound. Huan slew Carcharoth, but was himself fatally injured. Laying beside Beren, he spoke for the final time, bidding Beren farewell. So they parted. Mablung ripped open the wolf and placed the Silmaril in Beren's living hand, who asked Thingol to receive it. "Now the Quest is achieved, and my doom full wrought", he said. And he spoke no more. They bore Beren back to Menegroth, and Lúthien met them. She bade him await her beyond the Western Sea. Opening his eyes, he looked upon her one last time before he died. So ended the Quest of the Silmaril. But the tale of Beren and Lúthien did not end there.
For the spirit of Beren lingered in the Halls of Mandos, awaiting Lúthien upon the dim shores of the Outer Sea, where they could say their final farewell. For it is from there that the spirits of Men depart the world, never to return; such is the Gift of Ilúvatar. The spirit of Lúthien fled her body, and found its way to the Halls of Mandos. Kneeling before the Vala, she sang to him a song so beautifully sorrowful that Mandos was moved to pity. But it was not within his power to alter the fates of the Children of Ilúvatar, and so he called on Manwë, who sought guidance from Ilúvatar.
Two choices were put before Lúthien. On account of her extraordinary labours and grief in life, she was permitted to remain in Valinor, forgetting all pains she had known. But there Beren, being mortal, could not follow. The second choice was that she might return with Beren to dwell in Middle-earth, as a mortal, with no guarantee of joy in life. There, both would be subject to a second death. This second option she chose, forsaking the Undying Lands, for a mortal life with Beren. So it came to pass that long ago, Lúthien Tinúviel and Beren Erchamion at last left the confines of the world, together.[1]
Of Beren and Lúthien at The Lord of the Rings Wiki: This chapter tells The Lay of Leithian, i.e. Beren's quest for a Silmaril with Lúthien, and tells of the deaths of Finrod Felagund, Draugluin, Carcharoth, Huan (Beren's wolf-hound), and of Beren himself.
Chapter discussion at Entmoot TolkienTrail.
Chapter discussion at The Barrow-Downs.
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Questions for the week:

1. There seems almost no motivation for the love between Beren and Lúthien. They just look at each other and it happens. Why? Does Beren love Lúthien mainly because of her celestial beauty? Why does she love him?
2. Why didn't the Silmaril burn Beren's hand?
3. Why did Beren’s spirit go to the Halls of Mandos after he died? Do all men’s spirits go there, only to typically be sent off to who knows where, or was he an exception for some reason?
4. How did Lúthien end up in the Hall of Mandos?
5. How did Huan beat Sauron?

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For drafts and history of this chapter see The Lost Road and Other Writings, "The Later Annals of Beleriand", pp. 134-142 §262-306; "Quenta Silmarillion)", Chapter 12-15, "Of Beren and Tinúviel", pp. 292-306; The War of the Jewels, "The Grey Annals", p. 17 §44, pp. 58-99 §167-210; "The Later Quenta Silmarillion", The Last Chapters, pp. 243-247.
BONUS BACKGROUND 1: The Book of Lost Tales: Part Two (Ch. 1: The Tale of Tinúviel) , pp. 3-68.
BONUS BACKGROUND 2: The Lays of Beleriand (Ch. 3: The Lay of Leithian) , pp. 150-329.
BONUS BACKGROUND 3: The Lays of Beleriand (Ch. 4: The Lay of Leithian Recommenced), pp. 330-363.
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For further history and analysis of this chapter, see Arda Reconstructed (by Douglas Charles Kane), pp. 173-181.
Be sure to have your copy of The Atlas of Middle-earth by Karen Wynn Fonstad on hand as you go through this chapter.
Some Tolkien-related hangouts on YouTube (relevant to this week):

• Nerd of the Rings This episode: Maps of Middle-earth: The First Age The Silmarillion Explained
• Nerd of the Rings This episode: The Origins of Melkor Tolkien Explained
• Nerd of the Rings This episode: The History of Morgoth [COMPILATION] Tolkien Explained
• Nerd of the Rings This episode: The Complete Travels of Beren & Lúthien Tolkien Explained
• Tolkien Untangled This episode: Beren and Lúthien 101 - Why this story matters! (including Playlist: Of Beren and - Lúthien)
• Ælfwine's Road This episode: Silmarillion Summary: Ch. 19 - Of Beren and Lúthien [22/31]
• GirlNextGondor This episode: Tolkien's Greatest Love Story: Beren and Lúthien Tolkien Love Stories - Part 3
• The Tolkien Road Podcast This episode: Of Beren and Lúthien » Silmarillion 2022 Ch 19 » Tolkien Road Episode 298 » Sauron, Morgoth, Aragorn
• The Tolkien Road Podcast This episode: 0050 - The Silmarillion - Chapter 19 - Of Beren and Lúthien - Part 1 of 2
• The Tolkien Road Podcast This episode: 0051 - The Silmarillion - Chapter 19 - Of Beren and Lúthien - Part 2 of 2
• The One Ring This episode: Tolkien’s Greatest Joy – Of Beren and Luthien Intro – The Silmarillion – 23
• The One Ring This episode: Tolkien’s Real Alpha Male -Of Beren and Luthien Part 1 – The Silmarillion – 24
• The One Ring This episode: Middle-earth’s Real Power Couple – Of Beren and Luthien Part 2 – The Silmarillion – 25
• The One Ring This episode: Morgoth’s Kaiju-Wolf – Of Beren and Luthien Part 3 – The Silmarillion – 26

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The Silmarillion Reader's Guide at Tea With Tolkien.
The Silmarillion Reader's Guide by askmiddlearth on Tumblr.
Quettaparma Quenyallo (QQ) - The most extensive list of Quenya words available on the internet, by Helge Fauskanger, 1999-2013.
Tolkien Collector's Guide - Guide to Tolkien's Letters
A (Hopefully) Light Guide to the Silmarillion — Or What I Wish I’d Known Before Reading It by u/Ok_Bullfrog_8491/
The Definitive Family Tree of the Tolkien Legendarium by u/PotterGandalf117
Wikipedia - The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien
Announcement and Index: (Take 2) 2024 The Silmarillion and The Fall of Gondolin Read-Along

I mean, why

• Shinzō Abe, not Śinzo Abe;
• Yoshizawa, not Jośizawa;
• Chika Fujiwara, not Ćika Fudźiwara?

Isn't this much easier and more understandable?

Second attempt at writing a script. If anyone wants to use it monetization is fine. If any experienced writers could let me know if there's anything I've maybe formatted incorrectly that would be appreciated.
*Sounds of swimming then a questioning hum when they hear the listener\* “What? Who is that I hear? There shouldn’t be any other sirens this close to inland at this time. This was supposed to be my secret spot” *Frustratedly\* “I’m going to tell them to find their own spot. I’m not letting anyone ruin this place for me” {Thoughts} “They do sound quite lovely though. I’m not sure I’ve heard a fellow siren with a voice this enticing and yet... not. Hold on a moment” *Swimming sounds as the speaker moves closer to the sound\* {Thoughts} “If I’m not mistaken... this beautifully melancholic voice is coming from the dock. It- it's impossible, this voice cannot be coming from a human. Could it?" {Thoughts} “Oh great deities it is. How is it a mere human could have a voice the sounds so enticing I nearly mistook it for one of my own. And how... *Sigh\* how can they sing with such sorrow.” {Thoughts} “I want nothing more than to soothe their pain *Pause\* Wait, hold on, am I certain this is a human. Why would I care if they are in pain? this must be a spell, there must be something at work here making me feel so... yearnful.” *Frustratedly\* “To hell with this. *Quietly\* I’m taking a closer look, there’s no harm in at least checking in on the *Doubtful\* Human just to make sure they really are one... and since I’m going to be going towards them anyway, I might as well make sure they’re okay.” *Slow swimming sounds and the sound of waves crashing against the shore.* “There they are- *Sharp Breath\* look at them, they are just as... hmm, no no, nearly as stunning as their voice. One thing for certain, they are human. I’ve never heard a human sound so full of such raw emotion.” “If I could *Dreamy Sigh\* I would listen to this forever. I do wonder what they would sound like filled with happiness, however. Their sadness is beautiful, and despite not understanding why, *Angrily\* I am filled with rage at those who have managed to make them feel so terrible.” *Angrily\* “Who could possibly want to make this moderately attractive human feel so awful anyway.... I know talking to myself isn’t going to answer any of these questions. I really should just introduce myself.” *Sigh\* “I’ll just... listen a little longer” *Possible fade of the last couple words and the waves as time skips a bit perhaps\* “Damn it... they’ve finished singing... and, I think I hear them crying. *Angrily\* I swear I’ll find those who have done this and pull them down to the deepest depths of despair.” “Alright, get it together. It’s now or never” *Speaker swims out a bit from the dock and knocks on it to get the listeners attention.\ “Uh, hello human, if you would be so kind as to look down. I would greatly appreciate to have a conversation with you... perhaps... well you see- maybe I could- what I’m trying to say is I would like to find out what has filled you with so much sorrow and... offer my shoulder to cry on... metaphorically... if you wished it. Also you have a pretty voice.” *{Thoughts}** “Seeing the tears up close hurts more than I would ever care to admit out loud to anyone.” *Slight pause and cough\* “That’s correct human, I said I would like to try to raise your spirits. I’m unsure why you are so upset, but I would like to remedy it if I am able.... and yes... I did say your voice is pretty. I do not tell lies, your voice is comparable to that of gentle waves crashing upon the shore on a summer night.” *Confused\* “Why are you blushing. All I did was state an obvious fact” “Anyway human, could you please tell me what has made you feel so upset. As much as I do enjoy listening to you sing, I think I would like to hear you sing something a bit more uplifting if I had the option to choose.” *Mournful\* “I see, you’ve lost someone very dear to you. I can understand that pain human, and I do deeply apologize that you are having to go through this. Truly.” {Thoughts} “I am slightly annoyed there is no one I can take vengeance against” “Yes human, I know there is no reason for me to apologize, I was not at fault. I have heard giving condolences is considered respectful, however. Here human, take my hand, it is not much but I hope the contact helps ease some of the pain I still see swimming in your eyes.” “Why was I here you ask. I like this dock; it is usually empty and sometimes it is nice to find a quiet place to simply listen to the waves.” “No no, you are welcome here whenever you wish to come human. I have found your company, and your voice even better than the sound of the sea.” *Nervously\* “H- human, I would actually like to make a request of you. Could you... come by more often. I would like to get to know you better. And perhaps, once you’re able. I would cherish the opportunity to hear you sing with a more positive disposition.” *Nervously\* “Perhaps... w- we could sing together?”
*Excitedly\* "We can? that's wonderful. I look forward to our next meeting human. I hope we can become very close."

Do I have the legal grounds to dispute the new terms and pay my current rental rate for the next term since they failed to inform us before May 1st? (My lease ends June 30, we got the letter May 28)

hi, im 22, pls be 18+, im interested in doing a kpop roleplay. soo, i haven't rped in a while tbh, im not new, it would just be my first rp in like ages, just thought you should be aware. id like someone to play as my fav male idol. i could be your manager, stylist, ceo. i write in 1st person and i would love for it to be a slow-burn type, could be enemies to lovers too. semi-lit, i'm sorry, i don't do longer paragraphs. if you're interested hmu!

Do I have the legal grounds to dispute the new terms and pay my current rental rate for the next term since they failed to inform us before May 1st? (My lease ends June 30, we got the letter May 28)

In my current save (Hausa Insular created player in Ireland), there's only 21 Anglo-Saxon counties not controlled by Norse Rulers left (big Wessex and small Mercia). All of Scotland is controlled by Norse Rulers (Scotland, Katanes, and Albany). England is border gore right now with 5 Norse Lords (Viking Lancaster, Lancaster, Jórvik, Viking Jórvik, and Jarnmóoa). The Viking Lancaster and Jórvik both have no De Jure titles. I own the majority of the Kingdom of Ireland (I don't have Dyflinn/Dublin). It's 884 AD now.
My alliances are the Duke Antso III 'the Terrible' of Gascogne (2nd son married to his 1st daughter), Chieftess Auor 'the Deep-Minded' of Vestrland (mother-in-law), and Count Bouchard of Vendome (2nd daughter married to his brother). That's about 5.2k of ally troops. My max troops are 3.5k.
A con of subjugating Ivar Boneless is the hostile faith vassals I would be acquiring. Another con is that we are similar in military strength (allies included on both sides). A pro would be acquiring 15 counties in a single war. Another pro would be weakening the Norse Expansion by taking out the 2nd strongest Norse Lord (determined by military strength without allies). I think Jórvik will be turning into Danelaw soon (seen it happen before in my previous save as Daurama Daura).
P.S. I am currently attacking Austrland to help out the mother-in-law, so she doesn't have a rival on the same island as her.

tldr: She (21f moroccan) is very shy, met a man, texted with him, went to him to say goodbye, blacked out kind of overwhelmed with everything in a state where she would easily be taken advantage of, he forced her to blow, no penetration, yelled at her, got her out of the house. She blamed herself, said she's gonna kill herself if she got aids (she had a wound from an OP in her mouth so it's technically possible I guess), now realizes she's been abused and can't stop turning her head of, bad sleep, no apetite. Now she wants to report it to the police and writes everything down
She trusts my advice, so I feel very overwhelmed with my responsibility, my advice could help or destroy her (maybe not, idk)
About her
Over a year ago I met her on an App called "HelloTalk", it's for learning languages and she reached out to me to help her with german. Yes, Im german and we've never seen each other in real life. We've been chatting regularly since and talked about all kinds of stuff. From what I can tell she has a big heart, would help people even though it might not give her anything. Her life in that time had some difficulties with studying, but it seemed manageable to me until everything fell apart.
She discovered that she has breast cancer. It made going through day to day life difficult, she was strong and tried her best to continue, continue to study. She sometimes would fall behind, because she wasnt allowed to stress herself or had Operations done to her during lessons.
The abuser
It was that time when she met J. They met on a dating app "hinge". They had good conversations it seemed and so met up in real life. She told me about it and it made me happy, I was hoping maybe she found a nice person. She liked him. She even got a little jealous when he talked to the receptionist, since she is not a social butterfly. I tried encouraging her at the time, that she's great and if he's any good he'll see. I remember her sending me a voice note crying, she wanted to make him a christmas present and spend the whole day trying to get like a small wooden surf-board with some words imprinted. But the people she asked for the service did a poor job, but promised to fix it and didn't so she went somewhere else and something there failed too. It was just supposed to me a small gift, she wouldn't even write her name on it, she just thought, maybe it will make the person happy.
What happened
J was gonna leave the country and so she wanted to say goodbye, in person. She took a taxi and was very nervous. It was far out of her comfort zone to do this, but she pushed herself. Her plan was to say goodbye, maybe give him a hug and leave. He had different plans though. In retrospect I should have read the signs, he wanted to meet up earlier times, but it was very far for her and she didn't feel safe. That's why she's also a little nervous, she's far from home (maybe 1-2 hours). He never pushed it, but always wanted her to come to him.
I dont know exactly what happened at this point. He must have said that he has something for her and she should come in. They went upstairs and then he hugged her, her giving no signs that she is comfortable happy or any consent, he started kissing her, and that's when she must have been so overwhelmed that she was kind of in a shock. You know after all she's also a muslim. She couldn't process what happened fast enough and that's when he pulled out his dick and made her blow it, yelling at her, that was the thing she remembered most, is him yelling, she told me crying "he yelled at me".
After
She started blaming herself, why would she be so stupid, why did she trust him, why couldn't she say anything
She fell out of uni, because she couldn't focus on anything other than this. It gave her sleepless nights
She worried that she would get HIV and made a test, telling me she'd kill herself if it was positive. I tried my best calling her, telling her it's not her fault... I had a long list of reasons not to, prepared when she tells me the result and luckily it was negative. That's when I first started this draft and actually it went up hill.
She chatted with him even after it and he is the most disgusting thing I've seen. He doesn't feel any guilt, instead kicks her when she's on the floor. When she tells him that he destroyed her, he sends pictures of him having fun, telling her he misses her mouth.
She finally blocked him and it reliefed her, she realized she's been abused. Even though she cant stop thinking about it every day, crying, she got out of that self-blaming attitude. Instead she wants to report it to the police now. All she has is the chat between him and her, which is very vivid and she translates it to arabic... Im not a police officer, not a lawyer, and I dont know morocco, but I have doubts that this is going to lead to anything. She's full tunnel visions into it wanting to finish this. Nobody is on her side, they say she's 18, so she should have taken care of herself. Not only her parents but also institutions that should help people in this situation
I hope when she's done gathering up every detail, she gets it out of her head. I just want her to find peace.
I already told her that she shouldn't expect too much coming out, so that it wont hurt as much if nothing happens. But I have to support her with it, it seems, she has nobody else who would help her
She looks up to me, so what advice can I give her?

Good morning all. I’m Justin. 34. Husband. Dad. I have battled anxiety since I was 16 or so. I have had a variety of meds, counseling, etc. I have been doing pretty well until I my diabetes diagnosis in 2018 I think it was. Maybe 2019. I was doing really really well and then fell off the wagon. I got back on track and have done much better until a few weeks ago. I feel like it’s wreaking havoc keeping up with sugars, diet, good days, bad days, etc.
In saying all the above, I have really been fighting myself. I have been worried more about “me” instead of the one who holds me and my world together. I stopped caring, reading the Bible, praying, spending time in my worship/prayer closet, just loving on the Lord. I feel so distant. I feel like I’m going crazy. I fell back into severe p*rn addiction, cussing, etc. I am on my churches worship team but I just feel so sick and out of place knowing I’m like the biggest sinner. Doing the worship team is how I feel spiritually fulfilled but also so dry. I can’t explain that right 😆.
So I am asking for a simple prayer for getting bath on that narrow path. I write this as I try to worship and pray at 2:40am and my body is feeling like it’s in fight or flight and I feel completely unworthy to even talk to Jesus.
Sorry so long. I think my mind finally gave in to shouting for help and prayer. Thanks for listening. ❤️

It is known that the SFPD made a partial DNA profile based on DNA on the stamps and envelopes of the Zodiac's letters. Assuming that the DNA was not an accidental contaminant by the police, why would the DNA be suspected of belonging to someone other than the Zodiac? Not only would he not have been aware of DNA being used to identify individual people because that was not possible at the time, but it seems unlikely that he would have let anyone else lick the stamps (family, friends, postal workers, etc.) because they could have potentially seen the envelope in the news, remembered characteristics of it (the stamp, the writing on the envelope, the envelope itself, etc. even if he intentionally made them as generic as possible), and remembered at least some details about him, if not outright identified him.
Although that makes me wonder, did the then-contemporary news or police release pictures or at least written descriptions of the letters' envelopes, their writing on the envelopes, and their stamps? I know they showed pictures of the letters themselves as they actually appeared, including his handwriting, in the news at the time, but I don't know if the envelopes were ever displayed publicly at the time. Admittedly I haven't tried very hard to find out if they were.

‘Do not bring home the mudmen.’ That’s what my uncle said to me when I went camping in the woods behind his farm. I asked him for more information but he shook his head. ‘It’s a tradition. It's just a thing people around here used to say in the old days.’ He smiled at me, even though his eyes looked rather sad. I said goodbye and started walking. Ever since my sister died, I have not been the same. My mother had sent me camping in these woods to defeat the numbness. ‘A bit of fresh air will do you good. One night alone in the woods, that's all you need!’. I remembered her words when it started raining, only one hour into my camping trip. Part of me wanted to return to the farm but my body kept walking. I have to admit that it felt good to be outside. While the rain fell, my thoughts kept going back to the funeral. It had also rained then. It was hard actually to remember a single thing about that day. All the speeches and the faces and the condolences blurred together in my head. The only moment that I did remember, was after the funeral when everyone had gone home and I lingered for a while at my sister’s grave. I joked around like we used to do but with no response, all the while crying like a child. Joking to my sister’s grave did make me feel better though it did not stop the numbness.
The afternoon passed while I thought about my sister and my future. Every couple of hours the rain stopped, only to begin again a few minutes later. The earth made squishy sounds while I trudged my way towards a good camping spot. Sometimes one of my boots got stuck in the dirt but it didn’t bother me. My sister and me, we used to go on adventures in the small woods near our school. A world of imagination and freedom awaited us there between the trees. My current trip made me reminisce about our adventures. With my shoes in the wet soil, I felt like an adventurer myself, a lonely hero on his way towards an epic quest. I smiled while the rain kept falling.
By nightfall, I had secured a cosy camping spot on a hill, high and dry from the ever-present rain. I ate the sandwiches my uncle made for me and fell asleep to the faint beginnings of a thunderstorm in the distance. I broke up my tent and returned to the farm. I felt much better, to be honest. It had finally stopped raining and the sun guided me during my walk back. I had some time for myself. Time to think about my sister but also about me. I’d finally started thinking about my future. Made some plans and jotted some things down in my journal. So it was with great enthusiasm that I returned to the world of the living. Even though the rain had stopped, the mud was still there. It was impossible to traverse the woods without getting dirty. But I didn’t care. I felt happy and a little mud had never killed anyone, right?
When I came back, my uncle wasn’t there. He had left a note that he had gone to a friend’s house and that he wouldn’t return until that evening. Because my shoes were already dirty I decided to help my uncle out and do a bit of work on the farm. I cleaned up the stables, fed the pigs and reorganized his storage. When I was ready, I left my muddy shoes outside.
I woke up to the sound of a scream. Sleep still had me in its thrall when I came down the stairs. A second scream shook me from my slumber and I raced outside, towards the sound. It came from the stable. I crossed the courtyard and saw dirty footprints everywhere, all ominous looking in the moonlight. I threw open the stable’s door but I saw it was already too late.
I want you to imagine my uncle. He’s in his forties. Short brownish hair, modest beard, big friendly eyebrows. Now imagine him again but with mud and dirty black water coming out of his eyes, ears, nose and mouth. His scream had turned into a desperate gurgle when I saw him. He sat upon his knees surrounded by three humanoid figures entirely covered in mud. At second glance, they weren’t covered in it. They were mud. Their whole body was mud. These figures stared at me or I thought they did. They had no faces but their heads turned towards me. My uncle tried to gurgle a warning or something but he had wasted his last breaths. As he fell in a puddle of saliva and dirt I ran away as fast as I could. I heard the wet squelching steps of my pursuers, reminding me of my return to the farm while it rained earlier that day. I ran inside, shoved a closet against the door and started thinking about an escape plan. Meanwhile it had started to rain again.
My initial plan was to escape through the front door. But what to do after that? Where to go? I searched for the keys to my uncle’s pickup truck but found nothing. Shit. He probably had the keys on him. Which meant I had to get all the way back to the stable and face the mudmen. I picked up a big knife from the kitchen and decided to risk it. On foot in the rain with mud everywhere I probably won’t last long, especially when my pursuers were made out of the same dirt I was walking upon. The steady rhythm of rainfall synchronised with the beating of my heart as I went outside. When I put on my shoes, I noticed they were clean as if I never even had been camping. While adrenaline raged and all my rational thinking was being crushed by raw fear, I darted towards the stable. On my way I sank halfway into a deep puddle and when I reached the doors I had become some of a mudman myself. All my muscles strained and my brain was going in survival mode as I opened the door. I was ready to stab these mudmen. To avenge my uncle and… I saw no one. The stable was empty. No mudmen but also not a trace of my uncle.
I decided to return back to the house and that was the moment I found out where all the mudmen had been. They had been gathering reinforcements. Outside the stables stood eight mudmen. Their slick featureless heads ‘looked’ at me. It was difficult to say where their legs ended or where the ground started. One of them seemed new. The mud was not as thick as with the others and pieces of farm overall were visible. It was my uncle. Before I had any time to process this, the fuckers began to make their way towards me. I quickly decided to abandon my hope of a pick-up truck and to go with my plan B. I ran away as fast as I could. They followed me, slowly but surely. Mud was everywhere as I sprinted through the woods. Water, dirt and tree branches clung to me as I tried to shake off the mudmen. They moved like boneless masses, ever merging with the ground upon which they persuaded me.
I don’t know how far or fast I ran. I passed some other farms and wondered whether they could be potential targets of the mudmen. The way my uncle had warned me this morning, seemed like folklore but real. Maybe everyone that lived there knew to watch out when walking through mud. After crossing multiple asphalt roads and some hills, I arrived in a small village. I went to the local diner and decided to call my parents to come and pick me up. I have no idea how I will explain any of this to them or to myself.
I’m currently waiting for my parents. I decided to post my story here to get my thoughts straight. Has anyone ever heard of these mudmen? Or encountered them? I wonder if there is any way to stop them. As I write this grey clouds gather once again and I just heard a conversation between two truckers. According to them, it will keep raining for the next couple of days. Better avoid the woods for a while.

Hi! I'm writing a campaign for dnd5e and i wanted to insert the sign quest last part, mostly the Niffelheim moment in the adventure. I already have a ghost town hidden in the mountains in my setting, and i remember the quest being fun and interesting, but i couldn't find any source of the dialogues or script.
Any help where can I get some lore info, especially Serin, Kirkena and Lady Hell?
Thanks!
(No, I'm not going to play the game again, farm the mats, and do all the pre requisite quests to reach it again and screenshot the dialogues)

Need help with radagon of the golden order ps4
Hello please help me if you can. My private messages don't work so please either add me on psn: load_of_shadows or just write a summon sign behind his fog wall. Password:3221 Thank you in advance lads

This is going to sound very odd and if you are here to judge than you can go ahead and leave, anyways thanks to anyone who reads this and responds.
For the sake of my and her privacy I will give her the name “Mandy” and me the name “Jack”
3 years ago I was a 14 year old kid in the mix of Covid trying to get girls attention, I ended up on discord, I had a year long relationship with a girl named Sophia, and we just broke up, I was devastated, I could not eat, drink, sleep, anything. But I got through it, through this girl I met a guy named Sam, Sam has been one of the best friends of my life, a few weeks after the breakup Sam introduced me to Mandy, Mandy and me clicked immediately, it was like we knew each other forever yet we knew nothing about another, Mandy is the most loving, compassionate, caring, worrying, mom mode, pretty, smart, funny girl I have ever me, and I was simply drawn to her. We stared texting everyday and from that point to now I am haven’t gone more than a week without texting. Mandy is from Denver CO, and I am from Charlotte North Carolina.
This is where things get crazy. We fell in love, or so we thought in summer 2022, but we only lasted 3 months. We decided for each others mental health and sleep schedule (2 hour time zone difference) that we would go back to being best friends, at this point we were incredibly close. And we stay close and she doesn’t date anyone for a long time, summer 2023 roles around, I am 16 and she is 15, I fly by myself since I am of age to fly alone, with the help of both our parents I visited her for a week. Before, then, I genuinely have never felt so in love with anyone my whole entire life. I have severe ADHD, I was so shy when I first saw her when I got off my flight, I didn’t hug her, smile, nothing, I was numb. She gave me a giant bear hug that kind of woke me up out of it. I still regret not hugging her back, we leave the airport and go to McDonalds, and jus like over text and FaceTime we clicked, once I got out of my shell it’s like I’ve lived near her my entire life. She was so stunning. We both smiled at each other 24/7 all day everyday. We effortlessly made eachother laugh, and it was perfect.
Fast forward to now and I think it’s clear I will never stop loving this girl. She admitted to me that I am her soulmate that she can’t be with because it just wouldn’t work. She tells me she loves me every night when I go to bed, she always makes sure that I tell her when I get home from places, and I do the same, I deeply feel loved by this girl, I didn’t mention it before but I will now, Mandy is the most mature girl I have ever met for her age, it’s insane. She’s the type of girl that if anything bad happens type of girl that if anything bad happened to her to her I would fly there and be by her bed all day everyday as long as she’s there I’m there.
I plan fly there again in July and stay for another week, this time around, I’m giving her the bear hug, I cannot wait to see her, she calls me her rock, and she is my rock.
So here’s the question, what do I do from here?
I want to spend the rest of my life by her side, but I don’t know if I can, I would move across the country for her in a heart beat.
I want to reinforce to you all how strong our bond and relationship is. I know I can only write so much but I’m closer to this girl than my brothers and sisters.
I love her enough to know that I want her to be happy above all, and if that means not being with her and watching another man marry her than I can live with that. But I’ll never, ever love another woman like I love Mandy.
Every guy she’s dated has broke her heart. She’s lucky I don’t live there or i’d be in jail by now haha. Every girl that I have dated have broken mine. But she is always right there by my side. And I will never be able to thank her enough for that. She is the one who got me through my teenage years without losing control. And I could say the same for her as well.
I turn 18 in October and she turns 17, 19 days after I turn 18.
Thank you to those who read all the way through. And I am open to absolutely any advice or conversation anyone would like to give me.

Calling Aspiring Filmmakers for Remote, No-Budget Passion Projects - Let's Create YouTube Short Films Together!
One of my biggest problems has been that I have creative ideas and directorial vision but lack team members who can help with my technical vision/technical side of things. I need individuals who are just as obsessive, passionate, and possess a renaissance-like ideal toward the project to see it through to fruition. I value vision, the process and the final output above anything else!
I'm looking for people who can initially start off with hobby/passion projects without thinking of it as "labor," focusing on the idea and passion instead. (So remote and no-budget passion projects).
Is there anyone here who'd be up for forming a close-knit, loyal group to make films about emotions, situations, life, people, relationships, and the intricate nuances of emotions? If you consider yourself kind, compassionate, empathetic, and sensitive, let's team up! Interested people from different parts of the world are welcome, as I enjoy remote collaboration.
About me: I'm a nerd, Swiftie, English major (with a Master's in English), love writing, and enjoy collaborative and remote working!

My dad has just have open chest mechanical aortic valve replaced. Was bicuspid. Severe stenosis. Diabetic. Obese, 115kg 173ish cm tall. Ex smoker (quit around 5-7 weeks ago, time is bluring for me)
He is 55, no thyroid, thymus or adrenal glands. Thymus was taken out 30 years ago, sternotmy
For all intents and purposes he has done pretty good. Thursday, operation. Spent 24hrs in ICU, has been very sensitive to all pain meds and spewing. On three types of anti nausea meds. Was/had tachycardia, high respiration rate, and on oxygen. They delayed his move to the high dependency cardiac ward for 5 hours because of this. Eventually they moved him though non of this had changed at the time. Still was spewing on the ward, out puts are good, urine and blood. So catheter, chest drains and central line in neck out yesterday. Even though he projectile spewed after the central line came out and it started bleeding all over him.
His respiration rate is better but still on oxygen. When they take him off he drops to 85% He is still having to give blood pressure meds to keep it lower.
Blood sugars are high, they are giving insulin in stomach but he isn’t really eating.
Yesterday after the lines and things came out they put him on low dose ketamine and he was hallucinationing but comfortable and able to talk.
Today, he get in there. The patient that was moved into his room yesterday afternoon. He had emergency surgery. He tested positive for covid. They said there had been a breakdown in processes.
They said they have given him a bupen*something patch for helping with the pain and he is still low dose k.
. I had been trying to catch endo yesterday to discuss when the stress dose will stop and I wanted to chat about the vomiting. I missed them. But they changed him to oral this morning and normal doses again. I said have you informed them of the covid exsposure. They hadn’t and once they did they doubled the dose (tablets, not iv) He is able to cough but he isn’t doing it enough. He is just lethargic and not with it today.
Today he is much more swollen with fluid, but the main issue for me is he is not with it.
This hospital has spent the last 4 years telling us this is a big deal and then he has this operation and it’s all so nonchalant and relax.
So far first covid test is negative.
I don’t know what I want or need but the act of just writing it down has helped.
So any endo pearls of wisdom would be great. I was told today that endo will be back tomorrow onsite.
Actually what are the things they should be monitoring blood test wise etc

I recently posted a job on LinkedIn today. My first time. I'm not a recruiter, just a small creative business. We got almost 100 applicants in the first day, but not one of them followed the "Additional Requirements" section that asked for a two to three paragraph cover letter and writing sample attached to their resume via "Easy Apply". Is this fairly normal? Should we not be asking for additional requirements or are job seekers just applying to everything without reading the whole job posting?

Hi. Can anyone help me better understand the below two quotes from "Meditations"?
1st quote (8.47):
If thou art pained by any external thing, it is not this thing that disturbs thee, but thy own judgment about it. And it is in thy power to wipe out this judgment now. But if anything in thy own disposition gives thee pain, who hinders thee from correcting thy opinion? And even if thou art pained because thou art not doing some particular thing which seems to thee to be right, why dost thou not rather act than complain ?—But some insuperable obstacle is in the way?—Do not be grieved then, for the cause of its not being done depends not on thee—But it is not worth while to live, if this cannot be done—Take thy departure then from life contentedly, just as he dies who is in full activity, and well -pleased too with the things which are obstacles.
And even if thou art pained because thou art not doing some particular thing which seems to thee to be right, why dost thou not rather act than complain ?
Does it mean that if something is stopping you from doing something, you still should do it anyway? And if there are external obstacles then you should enjoy those obstacles? English is not my first language and it's a little hard to understand.
I don't quite understand the last sentence: Take thy departure then from life contentedly*, just as he dies who is in full activity, and well -pleased too with the things which are obstacles.*
Does it mean that if a man sees a purpose in his life, but at the same time there's obstacle preventing him from going along with this purpose, then a man should just try to find a pleasure in these obstacles? And accept that you can't fulfill your purpose?
2nd quote (8.48):
Remember that the ruling faculty is invincible, when self-collected it is satisfied with itself, if it does nothing which it does not choose to do, even if it resist from mere obstinacy. What then will it be when it forms a judgment about anything aided by reason and deliberately? therefore the mind which is free from passions is a citadel, for man has nothing more secure to which he can fly for refuge and for the future be inexpugnable. He then who has not seen this is an ignorant man; but he who has seen it and does not fly to this refuge is unhappy.
Does it mean that any needs in our life create a sense of anxiety, because we may feel like we're in danger if we don't meet those needs - and because of that the only way to prevent that is not to have any needs?
Mind without needs = safe mind?