I Accepted a Job to Film on the Dark Web
Man, I am pumped to tell you chronically online content addicts my story. Wait is that too mean of an intro? Will this get taken down for harassment since I painted too accurate a picture of the people on this site? Sorry, everyone, I’m sure you all smell like an expensive bakery and have touched grass this morning. Anyway, I promise I have something interesting. It even involves the dark web you uncreative writers cream yourselves over! I mean, totally real people speaking about their strangely similar experiences. Okay, fine I’ll stop bullying you through the screen before you click off.
This all started when I was seven years old and my parents were killed in front of me in an anti-indigenous hate crime, but let's be real you don’t care. I’m just some annoying Cherokee kid with dead parents so I’ll skip to the good parts. I spent years in an orphanage, gradually becoming more interested in death and violence. As bad as it is, I went out of my way to expose myself to that content in the hopes of desensitizing myself. Which ended up working too well, since now I’m obsessed with causing and viewing pain, though I don’t find any joy in hurting myself.
I got adopted at twelve and after a few months of staying at my new family’s home on the reservation, I went with them to a state sweatier than the average Reddit user, California. Long story short, both of my caretakers, whom I referred to as Uncle and Auntie because they could never be my parents, died. Leaving me in the care of their older son, who I call cousin. I’m not stupid enough to give up any real names, so I’ll call him Brick, cause he’s as dumb as one. He was in his early 20s when he was tasked with taking care of me and is the world’s worst excuse for a babysitter.
I’m almost always alone at the apartment, with him only coming by to drop off supplies and stay for a few hours so the neighbors don’t get too worried. Unless I get in trouble at school, then he’d suddenly give a shit. It's useful because he doesn't about the gory stuff I look at, but some display of interest would be nice. Oh well, ninety percent of the population sucks so he’s just part of the majority. Now, with that said, you’ll be able to understand the perfect storm that led me here. During my time on the deep web, I found a particular website that caught my eye. They had new footage relatively consistently and they were the easiest for me to access since I didn't go too far into the dark web, especially with all the honey pots lying around.
I even bought a couple of files for myself to study and admire. One thing irritated me though, the cameraman. He was always sobbing, breathing, shaking, or some combination of those. It seriously killed the vibe of the killings. Something I commented on under many videos, often saying I would do a better job filming. A choice that in hindsight was me asking to end up in one of those recordings. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I was mostly the only one who commented but I was sure they wouldn't care. I was embarrassingly wrong.
I was staying up like usual, but it was past one AM on a school night, and back then that was a lot so I tried to sleep. Closing my eyes, tossing and turning, the works. I had just started drifting off when I heard the front door open. I remained calm but immediately found it weird since Brick never showed up this late. The thuds of the individual's feet grew louder as they got closer to my bedroom. I tried to convince myself it wasn't a stranger, especially since they got in with ease, but I knew that was wishful thinking.
They hummed as they opened my door. My dumbass had left it unlocked. I remained on my side, trying to look like I was asleep. They turned on the flashlight of their phone, shining it in my face. It was hard but I stayed still while they traced it over my features. I could tell they were smiling as they clicked their tongue.
“Heh, I knew it was a brat,” they whispered to themselves, pulling tangles out of my hair. Something I struggled not to groan from. They pulled up the hair over my ear and got so close spit got on my ear lobe.
“I know you’re awake kid,” they murmured, putting a blade to my neck. I let them grab my shoulder and move me onto my back, I knew how to fight but I wasn't about to take that big a risk with the position they had me in.
“You think you’re so cool saying you can do better than our guy.” they snickered, kneeling, their flashlight still shining in my face.
“Do you seriously believe that?” they questioned, moving the light away.
“Yeah, I do.” I stood my ground, they might have been intimidating but I wasn't gonna let that stop me from being honest.
“I wouldn't sound like I’m gonna piss myself every time it gets gory. I’m confident I could get better footage too, getting up close is something I’ve fantasized about.”
They clicked their tongue again and ran their finger over the bridge of my nose.
”Well, I know you’re a big fan of what we do, and you’re confidence makes me think you got something to back those claims up, so how’d you like a deal?”
I was surprised by how civil they were being aside from the touching and weapon against my throat.
“What kind of deal?” I asked, for all I knew this guy wanted me to lick their feet or some weird shit like that. They placed a finger underneath my eye, tracing a half moon with their nail.
“You have till this Friday to film a video of you killing an animal and put it on a flash drive that I’ll pick up here. If it impresses me and the crew we’ll hire ya with a handsome salary.” They began, moving their hand down to my cheek.
“But if you don't show, or it doesn't meet our standards, then I’m fucking up one of the parts of your face.” They warned, pinching my skin harshly.
“And if I say no to this deal?”
They put their hand over my mouth, scratching my lips.
“That’s cute, if you say no I’ll just slit your throat.” they grinned.
“Or rip it open with my teeth if you got a preference,” they smirked, before running their tongue across their sharp teeth.
“Okay, since I have no choice I’ll go with it, but I’m telling you now I can give you something way better than what you likely expect of me.” I prefaced, looking into their sunken eyes. They scratched my scalp, including the side of my head that was shaved.
“Good choice, I’ll be back to pick it up and if you're not here I’ll assume you don’t have the video. I genuinely wish you luck, because you’ll need it.” they removed the blade from my neck and walked away. I sat still for a few minutes in the dark, processing what had happened and wondering how they got into my apartment with such ease. I was confident I could blow their sniveling excuse of a cameraman out of the water, but I was worried about the people I was getting caught up with.
Sure, I had been on a lot of gore sites over the years but I was always just watching and occasionally commenting. Compared to most in the scene I wasn't much of a threat. I could defend myself and have contemplated killing for years but I hadn't murdered anyone or worse. Plus, I am part of way too many targeted groups to not be constantly at risk. Teenage, fem-leaning, two-spirit, indigenous kid with trauma? Yeah, I might as well be walking sign screaming “Hate crime me”.
So yeah, there was a lot to worry about. Regardless, I couldn't let that fear hold me back. I had a job to do and a group of sickos to appease. The next morning was rough, I got no sleep cause I’d spent all night brainstorming. I barely mustered the energy to change and drank straight mouthwash instead of brushing my teeth. Slogging onto the bus with drool on my cheek, I went to the back like usual. No one sat there cause, the seats were extra worn down, and I scared off anyone who attempted to with my active, rabies-infected bitch face. That day was different though.
I blanked on his name and where I knew him from, but I recognized his wavy hair and prominent curved nose. He glanced at each seat on the bus, before somehow settling on my area. He tried to give me space but ultimately seated himself beside me after realizing it was the only spot that didn't look like it would give him cancer. I glared at him as I did with everyone, but it didn't phase him.
“You know you could pick anywhere else right?” I murmured. He stared at the floor, then at me.
“I’m aware, but a few months ago I started a mission to sit on every part of this bus, and this is the last place.” he smiled, his lips softly curving at the sides.
“What’s the point of that?”
His mouth moved into a more neutral position, but his eyes kept smiling.
“I just thought it would be neat to see the same place from a bunch of different perspectives.” he took out his phone and snapped a photo from the point of view where he was sitting. Maybe my sleepiness made my bitch face less effective, cause he hadn't shown a hint of fear, which kind of annoyed me.
“That’s cool I guess, but I wouldn't do that if I were you. I’ve done some back here alone that would make your skin crawl.” in hindsight my attempt at unnerving him just made me sound like a pervert, which is probably why he held back laughter. Trying to hide a chuckle by clearing his throat.
“Hey, it's not my business what you do, no matter how Haram it is. It’s your life so that’s between you and whatever you believe in. Just don’t shake hands with me.” he joked, playfully putting his hands up. Strangely, I remembered his name at that moment.
“Oh shit, you’re Abdul! We have art together.” I sat up, haphazardly slamming my hand down on my leg.
“Uh yeah, I’ve seen some of your paintings, they’re pretty cool. I like the way you texture them, I’m trying to work on that.” he complimented, seeming more weirded out by my sudden energy than my accidental insinuation. I felt a little stupid for yelling his name but decided not to dwell on it.
“Thanks, you’re stuff is nice, and you’re good at shading.”
He stretched his arms while thanking me. We talked for a few more minutes, taking jabs at each other throughout. Turns out he was better at being an asshole than his artsy charismatic appearance made me think. The thing setting our insults apart being that you could tell he was a loving person underneath. It was the nicest conversation I had with anyone in a while. Though he could tell I was tired so he quieted down, letting me sleep, waking me when we got to school. We went our separate ways until the last two periods we shared. All that time, I spent my remaining energy plotting how I was going to handle the video. What I’d kill, record with, and how to dispose of the evidence. It was a lot to consider, but through three classes I devised a plan.
I’d find a stray around my apartment complex and take it out in my room. Record it on a portable camera since I broke the ones on my phone, no, I will not be answering how that happened. Then once I had my footage I’d put the body in a trash bag, throw it in the complex’s garbage, and clean the blood off my floor. It didn't seem like Brick would come by so he wasn't a factor I thought I’d have to consider. The plan was almost too easy, but I decided to believe in Occam’s razor. I got so lost in thought that by the time I reached Art, which was my second-to-last period, I didn't process that we were moving seats.
“She called your name,” Abdul reminded me. Our teacher placed us next to each other at our four-person table. The two girls sitting with us were already friends, so I didn't bother to say anything, but I was interested in talking to him more.
“So, what do you think of this assignment?” He shrugged, taking out his sketchbook.
“I’m not that good at drawing people, but the idea of combining two people’s faces into a portrait seems interesting. Any ideas on who you’ll pick?”
“Probably the members of the music duo Brain Tumor, they’re my favorite artists and they both look weird as hell.”
“Wow way to talk about your favorites, if that’s what you say about them I can‘t imagine what you have to say about me.” he joked, pulling up reference pictures.
“First, it’s not an insult, second I don’t have anything to say about you. Brain and Tumor have features and styles that make them stand out. Sure they’re ugly, but it just adds to their visual charm. Hot people are boring, there’s nothing to pick at.” I explained, unzipping my bag.
“Oh, so you’re saying you think I’m hot.”
His comment wasn’t serious but it kind of got to me.
“Shit, that’s not what I meant, I was trying to say you’re boring. All hot people are boring, but not all boring people are hot, okay?” I explained, flipping to a clean page.
“Alright, but if I’m so bland then why talk to me?”
I hesitated, contemplating how much of a dick I was gonna be.
“Because it means you probably need some spice in your life, which I can provide.”
He began sketching a head on his paper.
“I like spices, but I feel like you’re the kind of person to dump a cabinet’s worth onto me.”
I flicked my pencil over to his side of the desk, putting on a mocking grin.
“Aww, you scared I’m gonna get you into trouble?”
He picked up the pencil and started using it, putting his on my side.
“No, ‘cause I’m good at setting boundaries. I’m more concerned that you’ll get annoyed with how unafraid of you I am.”
I stared at him for a moment, I hadn't expected to hear that.
“Jeez, man you didn't have to read me like that.”
He shrugged, observing the red paint from past projects that lay on my pencil.
“It's not hard to figure out, just this morning you were trying to push me away on the bus. Lucky, or unlucky, for you I want you to have a friend and you seem like a fun person.”
“Wait are you saying I have no friends?” I squinted at him.
“Well, do you?”
I didn't answer.
“If your response is silence I suggest you take up my offer.”
I was stunned, to be honest. No one had offered to be my friend since 6th grade, and that didn't last long. Of course, I accepted it, but for the rest of the period, there was an awkwardness in my mind. As pathetic as it sounds I wasn't used to others genuinely enjoying my company like he did. Which was partly by design cause I get joy out of scaring people away, but still. I forgot how it felt to have conversations about normal things like art. He had such a nice smile too, usually when I see a grin I want to slap it off, but I liked his. His voice was also nice, it’s hard to describe what in particular but it was easy on the ears.
Okay, I’m starting to get off-topic. I’ll skip to the important part. Toward the end of class, he started talking about how he was interested in filmmaking and got a portable video camera as a gift at last year’s Eid. He didn't have it on him, but he showed me a picture.
“Heh, that’s funny, I bought the same one a month ago.” I pointed out.
“Yeah, it's a popular model, I’m still getting the hang of it though cause I’m so used to using my phone.”
“Well, maybe I could bring you over to my place or vice versa after school and I can help you out.” I suggested.
He smiled, putting his phone back in his pocket.
“I thought you said you’ve only had it for a month? You know I can always look up tutorials from trained professionals.” he reminded me with a notable smugness that I'd used with him before.
“Well those guys are stuffy and I’m a fast learner.”
He redirected his attention back to his page, picking his pencil up.
“Alright, I suggest we go somewhere public instead. You’re not exactly the kind of person I want to bring home to my parents right away. Plus they always need to meet my friends and their guardians before I hang out at their home.”
I gave an exaggerated sigh, stretching my back.
“Aw man, looks like we can’t get high in my murder pit during our first hangout.”
He didn't respond for a solid few seconds.
“Wait, you do know I'm joking right?”
He shrugged, the smile in his eyes appearing again.
“I mean, one of those things is a little less believable than the other.” he snickered, and I laughed with him.
We set up a time and a date, which is where I screwed myself. He ended up being busy with projects from his other classes and family which just left us with Friday, the same day I had to submit the video. Now, did I tell him I wouldn't be able to make it? No, of course not, because I decided to be stupid and even more overconfident. I said that I’d one hundred percent be able to hang out with him after school like I didn't have a mutilator who was going to drop by my place at an unknown time.
The rest of the day went over fine but that bad timing led me to feel like a dick later. When I got home I was able to write out my plan, even sketching a few specifics of what I’d do. It was more exciting than when I’d been brainstorming, but this is when the gravity of the situation began to set in. When I said I’d fantasized about killings I meant it. I mean my teddy with twenty-five stab wounds should say enough. Regardless this would be the first time real blood was on my hands.
It made me feel powerful, but a little afraid. I’ve heard stories of people thinking that it would be an awesome experience and then feeling like shit. I doubted I’d be one of those people but still. Plus, I didn't exactly trust the guy who gave me this job. There was a good chance that this whole situation was rigged and they’d kill me no matter how good the video was. Or worse turn me into the feds and expose my collection. Honestly, if that happened I’d probably eat a shot to avoid going to jail. Wait, can I say that on this platform? Okay to the mods, that was a joke, I want to live a long life. Ugh, I’m doing a terrible job of staying on track. The point is there was a lot up in the air despite it being a matter of life or death.
I knew I’d go through with it but it was still a lot less straightforward than it initially seemed. I wracked my brain to remember where most of the cats stayed and tried to come up with a good way to lure one without raising suspicion. This also proved harder than first thought because I didn't think to account for the cat man, an old guy who lived alone and fed all the cats in our dingy complex while also housing a few. Knowing how obsessive he was he’d probably notice if one of them disappeared. Then again not all the cats return consistently or at all. It makes more sense that he’d think one of them was run over rather than slaughtered. It was getting late again so I rested my head for a moment, a bad move cause I ended up falling asleep at my desk. Not even changing out of the clothes I’d worn before, I woke up late and barely caught the bus the next morning.
I went to my usual spot but Abdul had already taken it. He patted the area next to it, which he’d covered in a towel, a smart move knowing how nasty it was. People gave me a few dirty looks as normal, which I smiled at. I stretched, my mind slightly less out of it than the previous morning.
“Uh, you do realize that-”
“Yeah, I know I’m wearing the same clothes.”
Abdul looked me up and down, his eyes remaining soft, but with a mix of concern and judgment. He set his backpack down and took off his sweater handing it to me.
“Dude what are you-”
“Look I don't know what led to you not being able to change but I think you should at least have a fresh top.”
I was surprised he was offering me something to wear but I took it.
“Uh, thanks, I’ll change into it later.”
He nodded as I put it in my backpack.
“You know you didn't have to do that.” I reminded him.
“Well there’s a lot of stuff I don’t have to do, but I do it because I want to, and I wanted to help you out.”
He smiled, his face still warmer than an Arizona summer. I got a strange feeling in my chest at that moment, I still can’t tell if it was good or bad.
“Well, thanks, I'll give it back to you tomorrow.”
We talked a little more and he mentioned something that caught my attention.
“Have you heard about all the animals that have been turning up dead?”
My eyes widened with surprise.
“No, I haven't, when did you hear about that?”
He pulled on his long-sleeve shirt.
“My sister said her friend who works at a shelter noticed a bunch of animals were getting adopted by people around the same time, and since then gore videos with them have been showing up. She found out through her co-worker who was emailed it by some random creep.”
I covered my mouth and looked away to hide the smile growing on my face. He had just given me the perfect cover-up without knowing. Now if I killed an animal people had an entire violent ring to connect it to instead of me! I stayed quiet for a minute because I could tell he’d likely see through any phony sad sounds I made.
“Oh wow, that’s awful, do you think they’ll ever find out the people behind it?”
He sighed, running his hand through his wavy hair.
“I hope so, for now, all we can do is pray that no more animals get hurt.”
I couldn't contain my grin as he said that so sincerely like animals and people didn't die constantly and that taking down one group would somehow stop the issue.
“Is there some joke I don’t get?” he furrowed his brow.
“Uh, no, sorry I smile when nervous.”
His gaze softened again, and he didn't press further.
His bringing up the animal killings ended up being the exact push I needed to get my hands dirty. I’d spent the entire day before planning so it was time to put that plan into action. I stole some cat treats that the cat man had laid out and spread them around my apartment which was on the bottom floor. Waiting for one of them to take the bate outside my window was pretty boring but one of them came after a few minutes. A scraggly brown and black cat with a tuft of fur missing on one side of his head. It's messed up but I felt like a little less of an asshole for taking him in since he looked like he was already struggling. I scooped him up and he didn't attempt to fight back.
“Hey there buddy” I waved, feeding him some more food. His eyes had a lot of crust on them, it was kinda gross but I don’t have the right to say with how often I wash my jeans. After a minute or two he let me pet him. I knew making any kind of attachment was bad but I thought it was the right thing to do so he’d fall into a sense of security. I was just about to take him into my room when the door opened.
“Hey, I’m back with groceries!” my shithead cousin announced with two plastic bags in his hands. He looked down to see me with the cat, his eyebrows raising.
“Aw come on, you know we can’t afford a pet.”
He groaned placing the bags on a table and unloading them.
“I know, but he doesn't look like he’s got a lot of life in him I at least want to help him feel better before he kicks the bucket!”
Brick rolled his eyes, putting the cereal box on top of the fridge
“Jeez, did you even think about what diseases he might have? His eyes look puffy what if he has something that can get you sick?”
He had valid concerns which was surprising since he’s usually stupid, but I was still annoyed with him.
“I’m sure he’s fine, I’ll even try to wash him, just please let me hold onto him for a little.”
He folded his arms looking down at us.
“Have you even named him?”
I froze for a second, before using the first thing that came to mind, which ended up being pretty awful knowing my plans.
“Cash cow.” I blurted, awkwardly patting his head.
“Honestly that’s better than what I was expecting. I was sure you’d pick ‘Hellspawn Mcgee’ or something else corny.”
He meant to make fun of me but honestly, I would have named him that if I had more time.
“Ugh, anyway I got those dumb chips you like.”
He then pulled out a bag of the wrong chips.
“Dude those are the wrong ones, this is the third time you’ve mixed up the flavors.”
He threw them at me, scaring the cat slightly.
“Well, I pay for it so you shouldn't be so picky. Anyway, while I was in line I picked up something you might be into.”
He then tossed me a trashy teen magazine. One of my least favorite sorry excuses for an influencer on the cover.
“This is a joke, right?”
I couldn't believe my own adopted brother gave such little shit in my interests.
“I don't know, you decided to start being a girl for real this time so I thought the makeup tips on page ten would help you out.”
I scrunched my face at his comment.
“Dude I’ve been this way for years, just because I started wearing more makeup and dresses doesn't mean I’m more of a girl than when I didn't. I know you won’t get the two-spirit thing but come on.”
He shrugged, seeing me done with me even though he’d just shown up.
“Yeah well hey I’m trying. Anyway, just so you know a friend of mine is coming here Friday.”
My heart stopped.
“Wait why here? You live elsewhere why can’t you assholes go there or their place!”
He slammed his fist on the table.
“Will you shut the fuck up!”
He screamed with a phrase I’d grown numb to.
“I don't know, to be honest, something about wanting to move into this complex and this being a way to scout it out. I’m just letting you know now so you don’t act like a complete freak.”
“Jokes on you I’ll piss in whatever shitty beer you bring just cause you said that!”
I yelled back raising my voice higher than his. He face-palmed before putting the plastic bags in the drawer under the sink.
“Whatever, you and your ketamine-addict-looking cat have fun,” he told me while seating himself on the couch. I picked up the cat and walked into the bathroom to clean it. I closed the door and placed him in the dry tub. Using a small disposable mouthwash cup I got a little bit of water. I hadn't had a pet before so I wasn't sure how to approach the task. I dipped my fingers in the water and carefully pet it while pouring s small bit down his back. Any other cat would fight back but he just made pissed-off noises without doing anything.
I scrapped my old shampoo bottle and kneaded it into his thin fur. His skin was bumpy and dry beneath the hair so scrubbing it was uncomfortable. I made sure to avoid getting soap in its eyes but I did pull away some of the crust on its lids. His pupils were so clouded I was surprised that he could see at all, making me feel even more sure that he would be on its way out with or without me.
After drying him I set him on a beat-up shirt I wore when modifying clothes. He sunk his claws into it a few times, playing with a loose string. I ignored him for the rest of the night, hopping into the shower and changing for bed. His meows woke me up a few times but I tuned it out after a while, reminding myself that he wouldn’t be my cat for long.
The next day was Thursday and there wasn't a second that passed by where the weight of the murder I’d have to commit didn't weigh on me. I seriously shot myself in the foot by taking care of that scruffy, pubic hair pile. I was supposed to be hyped about killing it, after all, I’d dreamed and seen way worse than what I was going to do. Yet once I got home and started setting up I felt grosser with each step. I decided to record it in my bathroom instead of my bedroom so it would be harder to connect to me. I set down a few fabric scraps and a worn-out beach towel, placing it all inside a tub for easier cleanup later.
“Okay, I guess it's time,” I mumbled to myself. I brought the cat in and placed it down, setting up my camera once it was comfortable. I also wore my most generic clothes in addition to a mask, putting my hair in a bun for sanitation. When I saw the flicker of red showing that the camera was on I felt I was dreaming. I smiled, excited that I’d get to live out my violent desires. Yet, when I looked down at its pathetic frame and confused expression those urges left me.
I rationalized what I was doing, reminding myself how many animals die all the time and that I’d been forced into this, but it didn't help much in the end. I won’t get into it but under the pressure of impressing the group Cash Cow didn't go out as fast as I would have liked for a first task. Getting rid of the evidence was especially rough, the textures were pretty nasty, to put it mildly. It was surreal watching the blood go down the tub drain and gradually drip off my hands as I rinsed them. I couldn't conjure a single thought the entire time I cleaned it up.
Whether I was wringing out the clothes or putting the remains in plastic bags, it didn't matter. All I could focus on was the task at hand, with hints of disgust along the way. I ended up finishing at three AM. My hands were wrinkled and shook once I settled. I won’t deny that during the murder I didn't hate it. Slashing into something was fun and it made me feel strong. Still, it wasn't nearly as fulfilling as I expected it to be. Part of it was guilt, but it was mostly disappointment. I’d built it up for years and it wasn't earth shatteringly good or bad.
Overall, I expected to feel more, but it just left me hollow with an uncomfortable itch. There was no way I’d ever be able to see the tub the same way, hell I don’t think I’ll ever use it again. Luckily I almost always shower anyway so it's not too big of a deal. I watched a few horror game videos, trashed everything, changed and went to bed.
My scalp hurt like a bitch the morning since I kept my hair in that stupid bun. Despite getting less sleep than the past two days I held myself together a bit better in the morning. I brushed my teeth, changed, and had some fried bread before getting on the bus. Regardless I looked like complete shit and struggled to slump into my seat.
“Rough night?” Abdul asked
“Uh, yeah.” I quietly responded looking to the floor.
He frowned, looking at me with concern.
“You can talk about it if you're comfortable,” he assured me. I contemplated giving him a thinly veiled metaphor or vague explanation so he'd comfort me but stopped myself before my mouth could run a muck. He wouldn't be able to do much of anything and I don’t like opening up.
“Uhm, thanks but it's something I have to deal with alone.”
He nodded, respecting my boundaries.
“You know, I understand if you can’t hang out today it seems like you have a lot going on.”
I avoided eye contact with him as he spoke. For once I was feeling hints of guilt toward a person. I wanted to spend time with him, but I knew that I wasn't in the state to do that.
“Yeah, I think it’ll have to wait, I’m-” I cut myself off before apologizing. A fact about me that should surprise no one is that I hate apologizing. Even when I do feel kinda bad the act fills me with embarrassment.
“You what?” he asked, his eyes telling me that he knew what I was going to say.
“I’m emotionally not great.” I spat out in an admittedly poor attempt to get out of saying sorry. As always he remained calm but I could tell he saw through me.
“Okay, like I said I understand, whatever it is I hope you feel better.”
I told him thank you and we didn't speak for the rest of the day. At home I changed into more comfortable clothes and brushed my teeth. Unfortunately, I wasn't bouncing back from killing nearly as much as I expected.
“It wasn't even that bad! That thing was on its last legs anyway.” I grumbled to myself, smacking my forehead. I was feeling worse than when I did it which is weird. I ended up spontaneously decorating a ratty tie from the bottom of an accessory drawer to distract myself. It helped me get my mind off things, for a little. I had zero plan, just wanting to make something needlessly complex. Hours that felt like minutes passed and soon it was covered in patches, frills, and beads. I just tried it on when I heard the front door open.
“Man, that shit was wild!” I heard Brick laugh groggily. I didn't have to see or smell him to know he’d gotten lit. I rolled my eyes, closing my bedroom door.
“Hey, who’s there?” his friend asked, seemingly referring to me.
“Oh, that’s my little sis, don’t mind her she’s just on her emo shit!” he joked, which pissed me off for the petty reason that I didn't even listen or dress emo.
“Hey, that’s alright with me, I went through one of those phases,” they responded, their words less slurred than my cousin’s.
I fucked up and forgot to lock it when I closed it so they were able to swing it open, almost smacking my desk.
“Hey emo girl!” they waved as Brick haphazardly pulled them back.
“Okay, man, seriously I think she wants to be left alone.”
The way his friend looked at me made me uncomfortable. Like they’d snap my neck if I pissed them off. They clicked their tongue while stepping through the door frame.
“Alright, but I gotta say calling her an emo is inaccurate, they look like they watch gore and most emos just say they do.” they flashed a sharp toothy grin. At that moment I began to connect the dots.
“Easy, she’ll get pissy with you dude, now come on.” Brick warned tugging their opened button pushed him away. They looked me dead in the eyes.
“I don’t think she minds, in truth, I feel like we’ll have a lot to discuss later.” they smiled again, finally walking back into the living room. A chill ran up my spine when I saw them. The sharp teeth, New York accent, unsettling gaze, that motherfucker was the person who recruited me! They were able to get into my place so easily cause my dumbass cousin probably gave them a spare key or the opportunity to make one, and now they were a room away from me!
I dug my hands into my pillow as I contemplated what to do, no matter what happened next, I knew it was gonna be a rough visit.

Hey everyone! Random Appalachian here. I just wanted to check back in with you all and provide some updates, as well as some exciting, if personal, news. I have to type this quick, as my work break ends soon, so pardon any typos, grammatical errors, or weirdly structured sentences.
For those of you who don’t know, I’m a park ranger in real life, and work at a wildlife reserve in Ohio. We’ve been having some issues with vandalism in our northern woods for a few months, and despite our best attempts, haven’t been able to find the culprit. It’s been immensely frustrating, especially when more paint has shown up on more trails, ranging from slashes, lines, and crosses, to dots and even letters. Normally we wouldn’t get too bent out of shape over a few trees being painted, but it’s well over 60 at this point, and widespread throughout the forest. None of the official people who help us maintain the trails in that area say they are responsible, and yet many of the markings seem to be blazes for trails. However the markings are at times absurdly close together, or in abstract places that make no logical sense. One “trail” is no more than perhaps 30 yards long and runs right along a massive clearing in a semi-circle, within plain sight of the clearing, and goes to nowhere; it goes into the woods, and pops back out into the clearing only 30-ish yards away. Most of our established trails that have been painted already have well-made trail markings of our own, and the trails are well-blazed. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to why these things are there at all. I don’t think it’s anything sinister, though the painter has left his/her paint cans in the woods before, so at the very least, they’re a litterbug. There is the concern about potential poaching, which can be a problem in our area. Sure, deer and turkey are commonplace in my rural community, but they are only that way because of conservation and game laws that keep populations intact. Local hunters play a big part in conservation, and if someone starts taking more than their fair share through poaching, that means less for everyone else, and upsets the balance of things. The sad thing is, unlike legal hunters who often hunt for meat for their families, (food is expensive nowadays) poachers usually do it for trophies, antlers, or ‘fans’ from the turkey tail-feathers. But our painter has yet to take any game to our knowledge. We’ve found no gut piles, blood, or discarded gear anywhere. So, if he’s not poaching . . . what on earth does he want?
Then a few weeks ago, we did find a camera inside our central perimeter.
To put this into perspective, we have roughly 10,000 acres to our little reserve. Only 1/3 is fenced in, containing our exotic animals for our tours, and our buildings that we use to operate. Offices, mechanical garages, barns, and storage sheds, that sort of thing. Usually if we have trespassing issues, it's in the northern woods, which is open to the public for walking/biking trails. Sometimes in the southern prairie reserve we get some wanderers, but it's pretty open, so people tend to shy away from it. But our interior, the central area, most of which is fenced in, is sacred ground for us. We have a children’s camp in there for kids to learn about nature, we have our animal barns, and even some staff housing. For people to walk around in there would be like a stranger walking through your bedroom at night, while you’re in the shower.
Not cool. Not cool at all.
One of our ecology survey teams found the camera in a lesser-used section a mile or so north of the children’s camp. Naturally, they assumed it was one of ours, until one of the staff innocently asked another ranger why we’d put a camera by that lake. When the ranger told her that we didn’t have any cameras there, it began to sink in.
We either have two trespassers, or the painter has decided to move his game further into our land.
I’m hoping it’s the former, that I’m overthinking things, but after all, the mystery painter had to have seen a few of the trail cameras we put up in the north to catch him. Could he be doing this as a form of tit-for-tat? I don’t know, but it’s got us rangers frustrated, and our ecology team is spooked. It was fun and games in the unpopulated north, but now he’s getting close to our people, our guests, and our animals. This is serious now. We removed the camera, but there’s not really much we can do without more patrols, more cameras, and more rangers. With our budget already restricted, the last part just isn’t possible.
My foray into trail cameras yielded no results as to a culprit. In fact, the day I came in early to pull them out of the field, it seemed nothing went right. Only two came off the tree, as I forgot the keys for the locks for the other two. I couldn’t find the last one at first, and darkness fell before I could locate it, so that I was wandering around in the northern district in the blackness searching for it. Inadvertently this helped me find the camera in the end; I saw the red light flash as it took my picture and was able to retrieve the SD card. It was in my long return trek to the patrol truck that I discovered the marks on a remote trail I hadn’t walked yet. A capital O and a capital N were scrawled in various places, with dots over the letters. I took German in university, so I know they aren’t grammatical marks from that language, known as umlauts (pronounced as “oomlout” for my fellow English speakers; for all my German speakers, if I spelled that wrong, I apologize). I’d left my phone in the truck (stupid rookie move for a seasoned ranger, I know) so I couldn’t take any photos, and didn’t want to follow the trail too far in the pitch dark. I had a flashlight with spare batteries, as well as my gun (I’m not a complete moron after all) but I didn’t have time to do much exploring, since I had other duties in the park that were waiting on me. I had some VIP’s that were coming in late, and had to be escorted, which meant I had to clamber back to my truck, swatting at mosquitos the whole way. Nothing on the cameras showed any definitive proof, though we might have a lead on a guy with a bow case on his back. Could be nothing though; it’s not illegal to wear camo or carry things, and it could very well have been a camera case, a backpack, or an empty bow case.
In any event, we rangers are working on a strategy for changing up our patrol routes and putting more cameras in the field, as well as checking in on the children’s camp frequently throughout the night. So far, this mystery person hasn’t actually hurt anything that we know of, but even if this is just local kids having a prank, it’s not funny anymore.
Anyway, on to the other news. For the aforementioned reasons, as well as others, I’ve been super swamped this past month, and so writing on the third book in the Barron County trilogy has been slow. I wanted to release it at the beginning of June, but at this rate, I’m going to have to push that back to late June, possibly early July. I hate to think I’ve disappointed you all, but it’s just not ready yet. That, and I’ve been busy with something else . . . something big.
I’m getting married next week.
It’s been a long time coming, but my fiancé and I are super excited. We’ve known each other since kindergarten and have been best friends since forever. We’ve both been running like chickens with our heads cut off to get everything ready, and naturally, we’re both exhausted/somewhat nervous. Our honeymoon will require some flying, and since my fiancé has never been on a plane before, that’s a point of nervousness for her. I’m sure she’ll be fine once we’re in the air, but until then, she’s a bundle of nerves.
All that is to say, I am working on the story, it’s just taking a bit. I cannot wait to get back into the swing of things for all of you and thank you again for your supreme patience in this. You guys and gals are great, and entertaining you all is a massive privilege. Stay tuned for the third installment of the Barron County trilogy, and the epic conclusion of Hannah Brun’s journey into the unknown! Until next time.

Inspired by MichaeltheSpikester's idea of a shared world, decided to add my variation of it. But with extra media that I think would fit well with this shared world.
-Several dimensions that were connected to Earth-199999 are not only the Astral, Dark, Mirror, K'un-Lun, Ta Lo, Duat, etc. but also consisted of Chronobowl (DCEU), Mount Olympus (DCEU), Axis Mundi (MonsterVerse), 4 Nations (Avatar: The Last Airbender), Spirit World (Avatar: The Last Airbender), Xadia (Netflix's The Dragon Prince), Heaven & Hell (Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss), and the Kraang Dimension (TMNT).
-The Titan's origins originated from the Celestial Tiamut from the Earth's core with the cosmic energy mutating small creatures into giant monsters. It is revealed that every planet in the universe not only has its celestials but also has its own set of Titans that play a key role in the planet's ecosystem. King Ghidorah is revealed to be one of the last few members of his species who survived his planet's Emergence and the reason why he and his kind terraform worlds is to rebuild the home they lost.
-Heaven and the Kraang played a role in the development of the Human race where it is revealed that Humans have various animal DNA, thus having the dormant gene that ties them to their animal ancestor.
-Lilith would be considered the "First Scarlet Witch".
-Due to Heaven's influence, their magic created the Gods and Goddesses in the universe. Adam would eventually create the Council of Godheads, where he is good friends with Zeus from Thor: Love and Thunder (aka Jupiter, the Roman counterpart of Zeus).
-The celestial's cosmic energy not only created Hollow Earth but also created pockets from the Earth's surface that created portals that allowed access to Hollow Earth from the surface.
-Asgardians, ancient Wakanda, Eternals, and Titans banding together with humanity, ancient Atlantis, ancient Green Lanterns, Olympians, and Themsycira in the fight against Darkseid, Steppenwolf, and their forces in ancient history.
-It is revealed that Titans, such as Sehkmet, Na Kika, and an unnamed Thunderbird Titan are responsible for Bashenga's, Talokanil's, and Chafa's origins and abilities instead of the Gods and Goddesses from Thor: Love and Thunder.
-The Titans and Startouch Elves would be labeled as "low-level" gods by the Council of Godheads.
-Atlantis, Asgard, Themyscira, Heaven, and Olympus (When the Greek Gods were still around) were aware of the existence of Titans and the role they play in the Earth's ecosystem. Similar to Asgardians, Titans were responsible for many legends and myths regarding mythical creatures and gods. The relationship between them and benevolent titans would be at best mutual notably towards those like Godzilla and Mothra but otherwise would be at odds with destroyer titans like Rodan and Scylla.
-The Eternals are aware of the Titans as well. Ikaris proposed killing them since they would be affecting the Earth's population and preventing the Emergence from progressing. However, Ajak talked him out of it as they observed Godzilla's species preserving the balance of nature, keeping the population steadying, keeping the other Titans at bay, and hunting/killing giant Deviants as well.
-The Eternals once met with Mothra, who Sersi and Sprite formed a close bond with.
-The animalistic Egyptian Gods and Goddesses (Khonshu, Anubis, Ammit, Tawaret, Horus, etc.) were once human-looking Gods/Goddesses before being exposed to the Kraang's Ooze, which mutated them into more animalistic creatures.
-Godzilla has a mixed relationship with the Eternals. While he approves them for keeping the Earth safe, he doesn't trust them due to their "unnatural" nature due to being from space, which is the same with King Ghidorah.
-Prior to his arrival on earth. King Ghidorah had a fearful reputation across the cosmos by civilizations, similar to that of Darkseid and Thanos.
-Both Thor and Rodan once fought each other in the past when Rodan at some point appeared in Scandinavia and terrorized the people, which prompted the Thunder God to engage. It was a long, withdrawn, and lengthy battle that eventually ended with Thor finally driving Rodan off. Like many legends and myths, this fight inspired one of those about Thor fighting a "Great Bird of Fire".
-Shazam was the first Sorcerer Supreme and taught the Ancient One magic.
-Wonder Woman and the original Shazam took part in imprisoning Ammit alongside the other Egyptian Gods and Goddesses.
-The radiation of Hollow Earth caused certain viruses and organisms to become more hostile when infecting their host while granting them various abilities. Examples include the T-Virus and the E-Series mold.
-Both Asgard and Mount Olympus are aware of Aaravos and his past crimes.
-The Ancient One visited both Xadia and the 4 nations once to learn more about both world's magic. The Ancient One also helped in imprisoning Aaravos.
-While Xadia is aware of dark magic, they are unaware of the Dark Dimension and Dormammu.
-King Ghidorah was without a doubt probably the only being that Darkseid and Thanos had ever developed a grudging respect. Both warlords are aware of King Ghidorah due to being just as feared by civilizations across the cosmos as they are. Despite classing Titans as "low-level" gods, the Council of Godheads also feared King Ghidorah due to his destructive nature.
-The Necrosword is made of the same metallic material used by the Exorcist Angels during their exterminations.
-Wonder Woman's presence in World War I inspired Johann Schmidt (aka Red Skull) to pursue mythology in hopes of creating weaponry for HYDRA.
-Captain America and Wonder Woman met during World War II when Steve was doing his USO Show.
-SHIELD is aware of Monarch and STAR Labs and has often collaborated with each other in the past.
-Packard is a relative of Nick Fury.
-Asgard and Krypton having had a history with one another and the former having tried to warn the latter of their inevitable doom, but were dismissed.
-Prior to Krypton's destruction. Zod and his soldiers had a run-in with Yondu and the Ravagers.
-Both SHIELD and Nick Fury were not only aware of the Titan's existence but also aware of Superman's arrival on Earth and kept close tabs on him since he was a child.
-Both Superman and Chris Redfield were Captain America fans when younger.
-After the T-Virus Incident in Raccoon City, SHIELD and Monarch helped with the clean-up.
-Bruce Wayne, William Stenz, Amanda Waller, and Chris Redfield were all targets of Project Insight.
-Alongside SHIELD, STAR Labs, B.S.A.A., and Monarch were all infiltrated by HYDRA Agents who sought their resources. They stole various technological weapons created by the Motherbox, samples of the T-Virus, and stole Titan DNA to create Titan clones.
-After the Turtles made their debut, SHIELD and Monarch kept close eye on them based on their mutation.
-After the Civil War, Amanda Waller proposed Task Force X to the government, in which Theaddeus Ross was among those who approved it while William Stenz opposed it. Abomination and Baron Zemo were among the possible candidates for Task Force X.
-Task Force X and Monarch weren't affected by the Sokovia Accords due to their connections with the government.
-After the Baker House Incident, SHIELD and Monarch not only helped clean up the situation but also got clues on the E-Series's origin. Not trusting the B.S.A.A. or Blue Umbrella, they gave the info to Chris, which led to his isolation from both organizations.
-Talokan would be considered one of the Kingdoms of Atlantis. Ocean Master would later try to recruit Namor, but decides not to as he was warned by the other rulers that Namor is more dangerous than Ocean Master himself.
-Karathen is revealed to be one of the lost Titans of Earth.
-Wakanda is aware of the existence of Atlantis but their ancestors have made a treaty with each other in not interfering. After the events of Aquaman, both T'Challa and Arthur meet in secret to discuss how to unite their kingdoms together and reveal their secret to the world. While Arthur respects T'Challa, he wants to keep Atlantis a secret until the time is right.
-Katolis would be aware of various magical humans such as Original Shazam and the Ancient One.
-Clark Kent/Superman, Diana Prince/Wonder Woman, Billy Batson/Shazam, and Mothra are beings capable of lifting Mjolnir.
-At the Senate hearing, alongside Serizawa, Nick Fury and Calvin Swanwick (Martian Manhunter) are among those who defended the Titans while Thaddeus Ross and Amanda Waller voiced against them.
-After the Titans were released, several Titans, such as Titanus Sehkmet, Behemoth, and Mokele-Mbembe all resided near Wakanda and all bonded with T'Challa/Black Panther while Titans such as Titanus Na Kika, Tiamat, and Amhuluk all resided near Talokan and bond with Namor.
-By the end of Infinity War and during the events of Endgame. Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Lois Lane, Martian Manhunter, Joker, Lex Luthor, Black Mask, Victor Zsasz, Black Canary, Renee Montoya, Huntress, Cassandra Cain, Bruce the Hyena, Bloodsport, Harley Quinn, Rick Flagg, King Shark, Ratcatcher 2 and Sebastian, Polka-Dot Man, Captain Boomerang, Savant, Javelin, Blackguard, Mongal, T.D.K., Weasel, Thinker, Billy Batson/Shazam, Billy's foster parents and siblings, Amanda Waller, Emilia Harcourt, John Economos, Adebayo Waller, Clemson Murn/Ik Nobe Llok, Goff/Sophie Song/Eek Stack Ik Ik, Casper Locke, Larry Fitzgibbon, James Gordon, Atlanna, Mera, Arthur Jr., Starro, Peacemaker, White Dragon, Hawkman, Doctor Fate, Cyclone, Atom Smasher, Adrianna Tomaz, Karim, Amon Tomaz, Ishmael GregoSabbac, Blue Beetle and the Reyes family, Victoria and Jenny Kord, Carapax, Madison Russell, Mark Russell, Illene Chen, Houston Brooks, Sam Coleman, Nathan Lind, Illene Andrews, Jia, Josh Valentine, Bernie Hayes, Travis Beasley/Trapper, Walter and Maia Simmons, Ren Serizawa, Alan Jonah, Godzilla, Kong, half of the known titans, Leon Kennedy, Chris Redfield, Claire Redfield, Ethan Winters, Mia Winters, Zoe Baker, Joe Baker, Mother Miranda, Karl Heisenberg, Lady Dimitrescu, Salvatore Moreau, Donna Beneviento, The Duke, Chris's Team, the Turtles, and Baxter Stockman would be amongst the survivors of The Blip.
-Flash, Cyborg, Aquaman, Perry White, Martha Kent, Stephen Shin, Deadshot, Deathstroke, Katana, Killer Croc, Ling Chen, Rick Stanton, Diane Foster, Jackson Barnes, Anthony Martinez, Lauren Griffin, Rodan, other half of the known titans, Jill Valentine, Ada Wong, Sensei Splinter, Bebop, and Rocksteady were amongst the victims of The Blip.
-Similar to Scott Lang, Black Adam, Mothra, Khaji-Da, and the inhabitants of the 4 nations, Xadia, Heaven, and Hell would not be affected by the Blip.
-The only beings that sensed the Blip were the Avatar (Aang), The Archdragons of Xadia (Zubeia, Rex Igneous, Domina Profundis, and Sol Regem), the Seraphim (Sera and Emily), the Goetian Hierarchy (Stolas and Octavia), and the 7 Deadly Sins (Lucifer Morningstar, Asmodeus, Satan, Mammon, Beelzebub, Leviathan, and Belphegor).
-The victims of the Blip weren't sent to Heaven or Hell, they were stuck in Limbo.
-During the post-Blip, due to Thanos' actions, Godzilla had a hard time in trying to keep balance of the Earth with half of the remaining titans running loose. Due to the world powers struggling, they helped fund Apex Cybernetics to stabilize their economy as well as unknowingly helping Walter process with his Mechagodzilla experiment.
-Because of Thanos, the Corto Maltese government took advantage of this by continuing their experiments with Project Starfish and the Intergang were able to operate and have full control over Kahndaq. Many crime organizations in Gotham have either been dismantled due to the disappearance of the leaders or have been absorbed into the Black Mask Crime Organization. Jaime's family and his community go through financial struggles from Kord Industries due to the effects of the Blip.
-Due to less hero activity, the I.M.P.s operated their assassination business.
-Kingpin met with Joker and Black Mask during the Blip where the 2 made mutual agreements in developing a partnership. However, this agreement was broken due to Black Mask's death.
-The Joker was on Ronan's list of targets. However, due to his powerful influence, he was forced to back down.
-Due to the effects of the Blip, the butterflies decided to start their invasion by infecting powerful humans.
-After the Village's destruction, SHIELD aids Chris in a war against B.S.A.A.
-After Doctor Fate's death, Hawkman gives the Helmet of Fate to Kamar-Taj for safekeeping so it doesn't fall into the wrong hands.
-The Avengers and Justice League team up and join the time heist to find the Infinity Stones. With Iron Man's and Batman's technology, they create a black and red infinity gauntlet. Hulk still snaps his fingers which brings every living being back. During the final battle with Thanos, the Justice Society, Black Adam, Godzilla, and the other Titans arrive to join in the fight.
-Victoria Kord and Walter Simmons are among the many people who also had a hatred towards Tony Stark and are joyful about his death.
-After the events of Blue Beetle, Damage Control tried to apprehend him but was forced to back down due to public support.
-Godzilla would grow hostile towards the Hex that Wanda made. Due to being composed of cosmic radiation from the celestial, Godzilla and the other Titans are revealed to be immune to magic due to their massive size as well as not being affected by the Hex's effects. However, once Wanda leaves Westview, Godzilla will leave as well.
-After Endgame, Apex Cybernetics not only seeks to eliminate Titans but also superpowered individuals as well. After the events of GvK, Damage Control cleaned up the damage and acquired their resources.
-Among the deceased that would be in Heaven based on Adam's rule: "Act selfless, Don't Steal, and Stick it to the man" would be Tony Stark/Iron Man, Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow, Peggy Carter, Ancient One, Ben Parker, May Parker, Pietro Maximoff/Quicksilver, Phil Coulson, Steve Trevor, Jonathan Kent, Chato Santana/El Diablo, Silas Stone, Rick Flag, Alberto Reyes, José Morales, Ignacio Carapax/OMAC, and Nuidis Vulko.
-Among the deceased that would be in Hell and have the potential to become Overlords are Obadiah Stane/Iron Monger, Ivan Vanko/Whiplash, TrevoThe Mandarin, Alexander Pierce, Dreykov, Xu Wenwu, Quentin Beck/Mysterio, Roman Sionis/Black Mask, Victor Zsaasz, David Kane/Black Manta, and Walter Simmons.
-Wanting to reconnect with his daughter, Mark Russell resigns his position as leader of Monarch and Bruce BanneHulk becomes the next head of Monarch due to his knowledge of Nuclear Physics.
-Both the Great Protector and Dweller-in-Darkness are revealed to be Titans who stumbled upon Ta Lo.
-In Xadia, Viren was resurrected 5 years later rather than 2 (Events of S1-3 take place in 2019-and S4-6 take place in 2024).
-Due to the effects of the Emergence and the Deviants, Godzilla would ally with the Eternals in hunting down and killing the Deviants as well as stopping the Emergence from happening.
-The Benevolent Titans have gained a reputation due to their involvement in keeping the planet safe and healthy.
-Driven by vengeance, Overlord Quentin Beck/Mysterio pays the I.M.P.s to assassinate Peter ParkeSpider-Man. However, this is during the events of No Way Home and when Doctor Strange performs the spell that erases everyone's memory of who Spider-Man is, the I.M.P.s were affected as well and called the mission off due to their amnesia.
-Maya Lopez's/Echo's Powers awaken the ancient Thunderbird Titan that lives near her hometown. She successfully bonds with the Titan.
-Ms. Marvel would not only be a Captain Marvel fan but also a Wonder Woman and Mothra fan as well.
-Riri Williams is a huge fan of both Iron Man and Cyborg which influenced her to create her own enhanced suits. While she has an intense hatred towards Apex Cybernetics after their dirty secrets were exposed, Riri started making concepts on how to build a giant-mech suit to combat hostile Titans.
-Thor recruits Wonder Woman and the Shazam family to help them stop Gorr the God Butcher. They arrive at Omnipotence City where Wonder Woman exposes the Greek Gods being the Roman counterparts with Zeus' real identity revealed to be Jupiter. After the mission, Thor gives Shazam the Thunderbolt.
-Wonder Woman then encounters Marc SpecteMoon Knight where she sees and speaks with Khonshu.
-When Doctor Strange and America Chavez arrive on Earth-838, they meet the Illuminati which not only consists of Captain Carter, Blackbolt, Captain Marvel (Maria Rambeau), and Mister Fantastic but also consists of Christian Bale's Batman and Brandon Routh's Superman.
-Same with Wakanda, the U.N. held a conference on whether the Titans should be contained or killed. Director Fontaine would state that the Titan's radiation helps balance the ecosystem of the planet and propose a solution where they can imprison the Titans and drain this energy they embody to help sustain the ecosystem, thus having them alive, but tortured.
-After Shuri takes the heart-shaped herb and becomes the next Black Panther, she communicates with Sehkmet, Behemoth, and Mokele-Mbembe for the first time. She convinces them to take part in the battle against Namor by battling against Na Kika, Tiamat, and Amhuluk.
-After the battle, Wakanda becomes harmonious with their Titans as they are welcomed in Wakanda and become its protectors alongside Shuri.
-After the alliance with Talokan, Aquaman visits Shuri on the same beach where she meets her nephew, T'Challa II, and warns her about her deal with Namor. Then he introduces his son, Arthur Jr., where he and T'Challa II develop a brotherly bond with each other.
-Due to the Secret Invasion, Superman was affected by the Anti-Alien Act and was forced into hiding.
-During the events of Secret Invasion, the Turtles were forced into hiding due to being confused for Skrulls.
-After the events of The Flash, Doctor Strange and Clea confront him that his actions in altering time created more incursions and recruit him to have them fixed.
-After the events of the Marvels, Monica Rambeau not only meets Binary and Beast but also meets Michael Keaton's Batman and Sasha Calle's Supergirl.
-After the events of Lost Kingdom, Atlantis revealed its existence to the world by joining alliances with the UN and Wakanda.
-Ms. Marvel's Quantum Bands and Shang-Chi's Ten Rings start behaving weirdly as they detect a signal from deep within Hollow Earth, signifying a war cry from ancient Titans known as the Skar King and Shimo.
-As Namor is preparing for the war against the surface by aligning themselves with Wakanda, he commands the Titans he bonded to gain strength. However, one of the Titans, Tiamat, is killed by Godzilla, and Namor is saddened when hearing the news.
-Ms. Marvel's Quantum Bands attracts the attention of Mothra, who believes that Mothra may be the key to bringing back Monica Rambaeu.
-The Avatar's (Aang) awakening was sensed by Doctor Strange.
Overall, this is my take on how this shared world would go. If you have any suggestions on how the shared world would go, feel free to reply!
Special thanks to MichaeltheSpikester for the idea!

1330 Terran Front Fleet Time
On the Turinika homeworld, the first signs of unrest began to manifest like a wave, The broadcast of the most esteemed Tizikikoonazikiakakiatkata, Taratanti of the roost Kazatalak, openly performing the act of Kavsa had been met with shock. The last Taratanti who had voluntarily performed Kavsa had done so in protest of the treatment of the Kulorn caste, nearly two thousand years prior. It was an ancient rite, one that signified rejection of the greatest shame. Even more shocking than the act itself was the evidence that had followed it. Visuals of species, brought into the Conclave, not as migrant workers as had been believed, but as slaves, was met with an almost immediate attempt at censorship. This attempt failed spectacularly, mostly due to those who had been tasked to censor the information not only refusing to follow the command, but openly declaring that they had been ordered to do so. A situation that was already, as the humans would say, out of hand, spiraled completely out of control. Within only twenty minutes of the ending of Tizikikoonazikiakakiatkata’s broadcast entire cities entered a state of absolute anarchy. Two planetary capitals were stormed and taken by the furious civilian population, demanding the location of those who had been enslaved. The Turinika Armada, which even then was in the middle of a training session meant to prepare the fleet to withstand the Terran Front’s assault, began to cease operations. Within the hour, the entire armada would be recalled to the turnika homeworld. Those who did not take to the streets simply stopped whatever work they were doing and went to their homes to be around their brood. Images of Tizikikoonazikiakakiatkata with his stripped wings spread wide in front of the human fleet commander were on every news fed of the Conclave, as was the sound of his thunderous voice, and the wails of despair from a turinika female that couldn’t be seen. Close ups of the human fleet commander’s face were shown, with analysts remarking on the shock, horror, and sympathy. Since the outbreak of the Seventh Orion War, the female human known as Simmons had been reported to have made several threats towards the turinika, she had quickly become seen as a warmonger, ready to take revenge against the turinika for refusing to go to war and violate their principles of pacifism. Now the images of her lunging forward to stop the violation of Tizikikoonazikiakakiatkata’s plumage, the agonized expression of her face, and the true reason for her threats against the turinika were rapidly reversing her image. On far flung deep core mining stations and agricultural stations, on deep space stations dedicated to material processing, and in other areas hidden from the sight of the normal turinikan population, overseers and taskmasters felt their hearts run cold at the knowledge that very soon, their part to play in the willful enslavement of another species would be known to the wider Conclave. As the data package transmitted alongside the broadcast were fully decompressed and the scale of the Conclave’s government’s involvement was revealed, the entirety of the Conclave itself was teetering on the verge of absolute pandemonium. The image of a member of the kolra species, from the look of it barely a hatchling, quickly was becoming the face of the entire incident. The picture was absolutely damning, and the sight of the image had sent any who saw it instantly into contorting and painful displays of shame. The young kolra was sprawled on it’s stomach, looking to the one taking it’s picture with eyes that had no life in them. It’s shell covered it’s back, and despite the age of the kolra it was already dulled and scuffed. The foot pressing down on the shell was unmistakably familiar to those who saw it, the clawed feet of a turinika. Within the hour, billions of winged figures stood in streets, the normally soft spoken and passive species demanding action, demanding justice, on the hundred worlds of the Turinika Conclave. The bulk of the Taratanti caste, most of whom had been left in the dark of the truth of the situation, quickly went public with their own declaration of outrage, and the eyes of the entire species turned inwards to the mountainous homeworld of their species.
Hakuri Watanabe looked down at his helmet before putting it on his bed, the stylized SEVEN seeming to stare at him. He sat down in his chair and picked up a small cloth from his buffing kit. No one knocked on his door, in fact, mostly he and the rest of his squad were left alone before a major operation. They were just given their time, time to mentally prepare. Some of his squad would go over their mission briefing, some, like him, would spend their time doing something to relax themselves. Hakuri always found that taking care of his suit calmed him considerably. Granted he could simply turn it over to the squads armorers to be tended to and they would do as good of a job as he could, but he preferred it to be done by his own hand. The symbol of a triangle was on his form fitting shirt, the symbol of his special operations command unit. He was known as a Myrmidon, but the official title of his unit was Section Three. He knew this, his superiors knew this, and as far as Hakuri knew, most of the Terran Front was aware of his unit’s existence, but past that, they knew very little about what he actually did. As far as his mother knew, Hakuri was a pencil pusher onboard the TFS Berlin, the troop mothership that all of his letters were sent from. He thought about writing her, but then again, he only liked to do that when he returned from a mission, not when he was expecting to go to one. If he tried to write her when he was waiting, he would just get anxious, and homesick. That wouldn’t do when he was dropping into a combat zone. That wouldn’t do at all. Hakuri instead started to buff his helmet, waiting for the word to come down which meant they were prepared to jump. A glance at the clock made him pause in his circular rotations. The clock said 1330. Operation Naked Sun was about to begin.
Tika was on his side, Kzia standing at the end of the medical bed that had been adjusted for his turinikan physiology. He felt cold in more ways than one. For his people, clothing was more of a decoration than a necessity, but without his protective plumage he felt the cold stabbing him through to his hollow bones. His diplomatic access was already gone, his privilege access revoked. He heard the broadcast for a preparation to jump, but he wasn’t truly listening. There was no question in his mind he had made the right decision. There was no question at all. One of the humans, a nurse, came to his side and gently laid a heavy blanket over him. The human’s hand lingered on his trembling body for a few moments before it was removed, and Tika glanced in their direction. The female was one of the ones who had responded first to the call for medical service for him, had heard what had happened and why. Tika had gotten very used to being glared at on this ship. He was hated, and he knew it. He knew he had deserved it. He was a party to the vral’s enslavement of the humans, the chua, and far too many others. When he had come to Thermopylae station, he had not even given that fact a single thought. He was born into power, being of the Taratanti. He belonged to the most powerful species and government in the entire quadrant of the galaxy. His people, while mighty, did not seek to use it. To him, they had simply been above it all. When the vral had approached him with the offer to sell captured species at first TIka had wanted to reject it out of hand, but a few had told him to go through with the sale. Such was the nature of this galaxy, or so he had believed. The weak were at the whims of the strong, and one’s place in the galaxy was determined only by the power they could wield. The turinika were not nearly the first to have taken a species and used it for slave labor, and while Tika did not approve of the deal, he had not fought it either. As he looked back to the wall, he remembered what the humans had taught him these last days. When he had arrived in Thermopylae he had assumed he would find the chua species to have been at the very least regulated to a subservient role, if not outright enslaved. Finding them sharing power was a curiosity. He had expected to be treated with all the honor and dignity that his station demanded, that the power of his government demanded. Fleet Marshal Simmons had disabused him of that, and had left him humiliated and shamed. As he had laid in the dark as Simmons had declared the Seventh Orion War, covered in his own filth, feeling as if at any moment he was going to be killed he knew true fear and horrific uncertainty for the first time in his life. He had never faced these emotions, these sensations before. He had always been in power. He had stood with the full might of the Turinika Conclave behind him. He had never known anything other than the superior position. Now, as he lay in the hospital bed, staring at the wall, he was ashamed of how arrogant, how blind, and how short sighted he had been. After he had risen from his own filth, he had desperately tried to convince his leadership of the strength of the Terran Front, how it matched or eclipsed their own. The Conclave was not the unchallenged power in the quadrant anymore. The terrans, the human and chua, had somehow defied fate. They had not fallen to the vral after ninety years of near constant conflict, and now if Tika was right they had come out of it nightmarishly stronger than before. Tika had actually begged to be heard by his superiors, and he had never come close to that once in his life. The chua homeworld however, had fully broken him. If he had not been on the Antares, had not been humbled beforehand, he knew that he would have just clapped his hands together and said that it was delightful. As the transmission from the chua homeworld had come in, and the rescue effort had begun, he could only wallow in his own shame. He had profited directly from the chua’s suffering, the human’s suffering. Again he had tried, and failed, to convince his people, and again he had failed. Being on the Antares, for him, was torture. The lights were too dim, every human and chua looked at him with nothing more than loathing and contempt, his entire worldview had been shattered from the way he viewed the galaxy to his own place in it. Every time he closed his eyes he saw the shadow of Simmons standing over him, her voice cold with a lethal rage, hearing her voice echo in his mind, seeing the glint from flashes of light shining in her eyes. ‘We Know.’ echoed in his mind in his sleep, the voice of the terrifying Fleet Marshal transforming into the sound of a vengeful god demanding compliance and promising retribution. Then he had watched the humans and chua, who he knew were preparing to go to war with his people, celebrating the return of the shesvie. Once more he had expected them to be integrated into the Terran Front, but as soon as he learned Simmons offer to them, and what it had entailed, he had been called to his room to answer the latest message from his people. Once again, his people had doubled down, the knowledge of the enslavement of the humans had been suppressed, and once more Tika found himself, and his people, standing against a Terran Front that had every justification to declare war, to right the wrongs that had been done to them. All the while, he knew something else. He knew that, after everything he had seen, that his people would lose. The turinika had not been to war for nearly two thousand years. His people were not ready for what the Terran Front could do, and after seeing what they had done to the vral so far, he knew his people were not ready for what the Terran Front would do. He was afraid of the dark. Tika was absolutely terrified of it now, because now he knew the monsters were real. Simmons had shown him that, but the humans, the chua, they were not the monsters. He was. He had refused to be one any more. He had announced his intentions to his staff, who had squalled in rejection, all but three. Kzia was the first to step to his side, Kikumot and Tziki had stepped forward as well. Never, in his most nightmarish dreams, did he ever think that he would stand in front of Simmons and voluntarily have his plumage stripped from him, performing the act of Kasva. He never thought that his staff would have ever compiled and transmitted the data package they had sent. He had never thought that he would betray his people, if only to save them. Simmons had changed that, the humans had changed that. He knew the terror of the dark, he knew fear for his people’s safety, he understood the horror of war, and for the first time in his long life he could truly look back at every interaction he had had, with every species, that had asked for help in their struggle for survival against the vral and truly understand their fear and desperation. Now he lay, his plumage stripped from him, his station revoked, his status removed, surrounded by a people who despised him. He wouldn’t have it any other way now. He knew that they would listen now, if not to him, then to the civilian masses of the Conclave that would not stand for what they had done. He prayed to the Great Mother often now, shivering in the dim light, hoping that it would be enough. He had been wrong, and in his error he had sullied his own people. He had made them complicit. Even now, he did not know how they would ever be forgiven, because right now he wasn’t quite sure he could ever forgive himself. As he heard the broadcast calling out on the ship, announcing one minute to jump, he felt a hand on his side, and looked up to the human nurse. She was smiling at him. Not a smile born of malice, or anger, but a genuine smile. She patted his side lightly, then turned to walk out of the room. For not even the twentieth time since he had come onboard Thermopylae, he was mystified by these people.
The bridge of the Dhampir was thrumming with music and the vibrations of the reactor and Conrad leaned forward in his chair mount, his eyes almost feral as he looked at the empty space that was the mandeville point. He was positively chomping at the bit. Batz was positively roaring the lyrics to the song that was blaring over the ships speakers. Rev and Dev sat side by side in their mounts, throwing their hands up in time with the pounding bass beat of the sound. Towns was the only one besides Conrad that was quiet, both of them looking towards the mandeville point with complete impatience. Conrad felt like jumping from his skin. Fidget, well, fidgetted, holding his hands over his headset and listening as if he were trying to hear secret messages in the music. They were ready, their pulses were racing. The crew of the Dhampir was positively vibrating. Conrad looked to the shipboard clock, seeing 1330 displayed, and his head snapped to Fidget, waiting for the word. They were going to run, they were going to chase, they were going to hunt.
Vicky sat back, looking towards Jess and Kukat as they slept. Jess was in her chair, Kukat in her medical bed. Vicky glanced back at the block print on the paper and read it for the fifth time. She read the individual lines, one at a time, cursing their existence. After reading through the message printed she let her hand hang again. Kukat would be released from medical tomorrow, and both her and Jess still thought they would be boarding the Thumper to join the Vellacore once more. Jess had talked non-stop about her quarters on the Vellacore the past few days, how she just wanted to be back in her room. Kukat was equally excited. Only Vicky didn’t share their excitement. They didn’t know yet. They didn’t know about their battlefield promotions, they didn’t know about their reassignments, they didn’t know the days of them working together were functionally over. Vicky looked down at her hand holding the paper again, and felt like crumpling it. She had lost her crew. She had lost them not due to negligence, or time, she had lost them to fame. Kukat was to be promoted to ensign, and was to be the sensor officer on the destroyer Hadrian, Jess was getting the same promotion, her station on the cruiser Victorious. Vicky? She was the sparkling new commanding officer of a destroyer that was arriving at Thermopylae in two days, the Quarrel. She never wanted this. She had turned down promotion after promotion that would take her from the cockpit of the Thumper, away from Kukat, away from Jess. She wanted to serve in this war in her own way, as a pilot, with the two who had made her life so enjoyable. Now though, they were to be split up, and there was nothing she could do about it. These promotions hadn’t come from simple seniority, they had come from High Command, as had the orders. Tomorrow, when Kukat was released, they would be ushered into the hanger bay of the Barrowmore. They would all three be awarded the Star of Terra, then they would be reassigned. Tonight was the last night they would all be together. Vicky wanted to wake them up, she wanted to tell them, to give them a chance to process it. As she looked to Kukat and Jess she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She held up the letter again, reading the first few lines, then she felt the sting of tears in the corners of her eyes. She looked away, her heart panging with sadness, and stared at the wall. The clock read 1330.
Corporal Brandy was sitting on the small rack, with Janet Shippen sitting between his legs using his thighs as armrests. They were both dressed for the first time in the last few hours, both of them staring at the clock. This close to the reactors they could feel them beginning to spool up for the trip through hyperspace. When the news of the operation had come down they had elected to spend as much time together as possible, which Brandy had enjoyed to no end, and he had made sure Janet had as well. Brandy had even taken some time to reach out to his sister Victoria, a rarity for them both, as since they were children they were often barely able to speak to each other simply due to schedules. He had even told her about Janet, and although he hadn’t gotten a response from his sister yet he already knew what she would say. Janet nestled back against him, but he could feel her body was stiff. Neither of them knew what the next few months were going to hold. Their time together might be constricted, in fact, this might be the last few moments they were together for quite awhile. Brandy’s Ghouls were specialists, ship boarders. Chances are he was going to be extremely busy, as was she. He didn’t quite know how he felt about Janet, but he did know that beyond a shadow of a doubt he didn’t want to be away from her. Judging from how she was acting, she felt the same as him, conflicted about her relationship with him, but not wanting to be apart. He knew what he needed to tell her, that he had to get up, that he had to leave. The Ghouls were going to be assembled at 1345, ready to board. Her unit was going to be prepared at the same time, to begin taking on salvage. Her hands were like clamps on his legs, and from how tense she was, he wasn’t going to get up until she was good and ready. The clock on the wall switched to 1330. He stared at the clock, feeling like the clock was mocking him, when suddenly Janet leaned up and turned. Her hands took hold of his shoulders and she threw her body against his, her lips finding his own. Her arms wrapped around her frame and he tightened his grasp on her.
Simmons spread her hands over the panel in front of her, looking at the table. Seven points connected the recently reclaimed chua space to what was former Shesvie territory, and beyond that, the heart of the Vral Empire. Her lip curled in a wicked smile, On the digital display of the table the hyperspace lanes, and more importantly, the avenues of attack her fleet was preparing to take. She held out her hand, all five fingers splayed over the lanes, envisioning the war as it stood now. The war to come. Seven hyperspace lanes, seven systems, branching out into sixteen, branching out again to another twenty. The Antares herself was going to link up with the Barraki, and was set to simply plough through the next five systems to do so. Slowly she tightened her hand into a fist as she looked along the hyperspace lanes, seeing task forces lined up and ready to jump. Drones had already been sent through. The vral had forces along the border, but nothing that could withstand what was to come. Her fleet was ready. She was ready. The Seventh Orion War was at the end of it’s first month, and had taken back six systems. The first moves of Operation Naked Sun would double that and exceed it, then double it again. She had already given her speech, her task force commanders were ready. High Command had taken it’s time making this decision, and while she had railed against the delay that didn’t matter now. All along the front, individual task forces were joined into larger fleets, ready to jump into the next system and eliminate any vral defenses, but unlike now, they simply would not wait. Naked Sun was to be a lightning strike to cut off as much of the Vral Empire as possible, to deny them their own space, to imprison them on their own worlds. Task Forces were designed around three types of vessels combinations, Lighthammer Task Forces were comprised of corvettes and fast destroyers, the fastest vessels in the fleet, meant to take systems quickly, to devastate unprotected infrastructure, and to eliminate light resistance. Simply put, they were going to swarm into vral space, determine pockets of resistance, and move on. They were going to rip entire sections of vral space from them, calling in other task groups if needed. Thunder task groups were the primary capital fleets, meant to be sent into those pockets of resistance, and neutralizing them, joining with the Lighthammer groups if needed. The cruisers, carriers, battleships, they all belonged to these task forces. Her own task force was called the Nova task force, and it comprised only the Antares and it’s sizable fleet escort. Simmons glanced up at the clock, the time was 1329. She breathed in slowly, then unbidden the thought came to her head and she looked to the report from the two habitable planets that had been scanned by the drone cutters, the information having been relayed to her almost twenty minutes prior. She was not worried about the ground campaign, in fact a reserve fleet from Thermopylae would be the ones to escort the landing ships from planet to planet that her fleet left behind in it’s wake, isolated and defenseless from the wider Vral Empire. Fleet escorting was no longer her job, protecting ground invasions were no longer her job. Simmons was positively growling now, as her only job was to take her fleet and use it to rip the vral out of the stars. Still, the thought nagged at her. On both of the planets that her fleet was set to overrun, there were Vral ships in orbit. On the first, there was evidence that the Vral had been bombarding a small area of the surface, extremely similar in size to the hole that now existed on Zvitia, the planet that even now was being integrated into the Terran Front. In the second system it showed Vral ships in orbit, but whatever they were doing during the time they had taken the scans, whatever they were covering up, they didn’t seem to have gotten to it yet. On the radiological scan of the planet a massive bloom of electromagnetic energy painted a broad region of the planet blistering white. She had sent the images back to Earth, back to High Command, but no one seemed to know what was happening. The one thing that every analyst agreed on so far that was that whatever the blooms represented, it meant nothing good. She took another long look at the radiological scan, seeing the intensity of the radiation, and her lip curled in a snarl. She couldn’t think about that right now, but orders had already been given to notify her the moment that they had taken a planet that still bore the radiation signal. The vral were being damned fastidious about it though. She pulled her thoughts away from it, looking back to the hyperspace lanes. The slow grin entered her features again. She glanced at the clock. 1330. Her hand took hold of the receiver next to her station and she pressed the transmission stud, knowing that Hazard had already opened a channel to the wider fleet.
“Commence.”

*Moved this over from Barcelona forum.
Hello All,
We just got back to the US from our great trip to (mostly) Barcelona. We did spend a couple of great days in the Costa Brava in the town of Begur. That was a wonderful time too. We had a great time and were sad that our time in Spain came to a close so quickly.
When we landed at the airport we got a 3 day Hola Barcelona pass that was excellent and worth it. We took the bus, tube, and tram around the town and it’s some of the best public transport I’ve had the privilege of using.
We stayed in the Poble Sec area, and this was a lovely area, but all of Barcelona was great, as well. We ventured through El Ravel during the day even though our host told us that this might be an area to avoid. Note: Most people on here said just use common sense and be mindful, and following that advice we had a positive experience.
The people of Barcelona that we encountered in our trip were kind, friendly and patient. We spoke Spanish and English, and most people seemed to also speak English along with their native Catalonian and Spanish.
Like most other posts say, there is much to do and take in this city. They say New York is the city that never sleeps, but I was thinking that Barcelona is the city that is alive night and day.
Now, to address the one thing that many people have posted about on Reddit - the problem of pickpockets and theft. The majority of our trip was wonderful, and we did not really encounter this, and we were mindful of our belongings and employed common sense awareness.
That said, there were two things related to potential theft that stood out on our trip.
1. We rented a car to travel from Barcelona to Begur, but we planned to detour first to go see Montserrat. On our way to Montserrat a car pulled up behind us and was honking and flashing us and then drove up beside us indicating that we should stop bc something was “wrong” with the car. A younger man then proceeded to show me how the wrong thing in the back needed to be fixed and he was trying to “help”. This felt wrong bc he was too aggressive and forceful in this situation; he was brazen enough to just open our trunk without consent.
Later we read about a flat tire scam that people use to rob people sometimes. We avoided what we think might have happened by being firm and saying that we should call the police and road side assistance because we were in a dangerous situation (by being on the side of the road) he was adamant that he could fix it/ we shouldn’t call for assistance & should follow him. Once we said we were going to call for assitance he got upset and drove away. We realized right away that we had avoided a negative situation.
Lesson Learned: The rental car we got had a rental car company bumper sticker which I think makes for an easy target. We removed it and were fine after that. Here, pay attention to your gut if something doesn’t feel right then believe it.
2. On our last day, on our way back into Barcelona after returning the rental car, we took the train. As soon as we boarded, the train agent on the train yelled out loud and pointed to the people sitting behind us and identified them as known pickpockets. He warned everyone, which was helpful, and made us candidly aware of how close pickpockets can be on public transport. At the next stop two other pickpockets boarded the train. That was kind of a surreal experience.
Lesson Learned: there are pickpockets, but everyone is on the lookout, so just be mindful and aware of your surroundings.
I share these two lessons because Reddit was so helpful to us. We loved our time in Barcelona (& the Costa Brava), and we felt so welcomed by the people in Spain. Thank you for welcoming us as guests to your home.

Even if Mina comes back from her "break". Even if she turns back on the comments on her Youtube. Even if she continues to members-only livestreams or opens it up to the public. Even if she continues to grow a following.
Mina's business as we know it is done. And she knows this.
Mina always made it clear that for her it's not about followers, likes, and comments. It's about getting people to PAY you. She used to brag that she makes more money than people with much larger followings. She used to talk them down and say things like "You must be working really hard not to make money". (No, Mina, maybe they have a conscience and just aren't comfortable with scamming)
What happened to her "Secret Offer" Kainaat? The one that she said that "God" made her announce before she was ready? She said that she was going to launch in mid April. We are already in the latter part of May and she's completely abandoned it. If you try to access it from the original link (https://high-value-worthy-woman.thinkific.com/courses/kainaat), you cannot buy it. Even her next intensive in Budapest is no longer listed.
For the first time since I've followed Mina, she has nothing to promote.
Knowing Mina, this has to be extremely difficult for her. Her supposedly dream life seems to be very lonely and empty behind the scenes. So it seems she has structured her life in a way so she always has to have something to look forward to. By the time she's on a flight to an in-person intensive, she has typically already announced the one that will come after that. She would always have courses and events lined up.
But for the first time everything has come to a halt, and she has instead fallen back to doing flash sales for her old products. If you understand Mina's business, you know that flash sales are a sign of desperation for her. Last year in CEO Boss Queen she announced that she was done with flash sales because it was "too easy" of a way to make money. She was bored with it. Fast forward to this year she is doing flash sales like crazy. (And apparently currently she is offering 18% on ALL her products.)
It is clear that women have stopped buying.
Making sales is all that Mina lives for. So it's funny when defenders used to come in here and talk about the value they got from her free content. Mina thinks you are a peasant, hun. Mina explicitly shames women for manifesting free things. Mina is only able to make money when women BUY. She has a whole module in her sales course about TRAINING THEM TO BUY. While Mina will happily take your mindless praise and compliments online, what gives her the ULTIMATE validation is when you GIVE HER YOUR MONEY.
She will always be able to find minions and sycophants to follow her online. But what is harder to find are BUYERS.
Mina used to be able to get away with so much as long as she was able to control the narrative and keep up the charade. In many ways, Mina's prices actually used to be HIGHER than they are now. For example, 3 years ago was selling Aligned as Femme for $4,888 I can't imagine her having the gall to launch a course at that price point now.
For Mina to have a shot, she will have to DRASTICALLY lower her price point. But that market is honestly much more competitive. She has to compete with younger, more relatable content creators. (She can barely compete with her own mentee Awwlexis.)
Mina had a really good grift going when she was marketing herself as mentor for "6 & 7 figure earners" and "Top 1% women". But her arrogance went to her head and she chose to trash her core audience and throw them under the bus.
So whenever she comes back to YT, and whenever she starts livestreaming again, she can enjoy the company of what's left of her paid members. But at the end of the day those are low-investment fans. While they act like they are superfans on YT, most of them just get a high from seeing their comments read out loud on the world wide web. They aren't actually invested. I don't see those girls in zoom calls. Her real "VIP" clients have largely jumped shipped.
She will be hard pressed to find anybody willing to pay what she used to charge as long as real reviews are being circulated online. Before, she was able to market such high prices as "investing in yourself", but now everyone can plainly see that you would be better off taking your cold hard cash and flushing it down the toilet.
It's funny because it does seem like something has actually shifted in the atmosphere. I don't come across many defenders anymore. It kind of seems like... a spell has been broken? It's like women are collectively snapping out of it. But if anybody else does try to come to defend her or gaslight her victims, all I really want to know is the answer to these two questions: "What is the last thing you bought from her?" and "What is the next thing thing you intend to buy from her?"
Otherwise, your talk is cheap.
Thank you everyone for sharing your story and saving so many women going forward.

Backed by Community Request, our Spring event is live! Details here. Participation is optional.

For all the great traders out there, thank you!
Thank you to those that share our posts, you are true guardians of Airsoft!
This is a mega post from a group of 40+ airsoft collectors'/players'.
Reddit chat sucks so we've added an Alternate Contact on Discord: cdnciti
Only trade of interest is a Inokatsu MK46.
Guns will only be sold to adults.
'PD' means Pending Deal. Crossed off items are sold.
All negotiations are done prior to pickup.
Pick up available in Markham, Yorkdale, Fairview Mall(Toronto) or STC.
Traders must agree in writing to the price and payment method before meeting up.
For shipped items, if payment is not received within 24 hours the trade is off.
EMT for shipped items or cash for pick ups.
If you are not comfortable trading in person in a public parking lot with security cameras and plate scanners then shipping is recommended.
+SHIPPING $$ means shipping cost is not included in the price. All trades are final.
All rifles include shipping/delivery costs.

Freebies donated by our group

Add one of these items to your trade when it's conditions are met. Spend amount is on a per trade basis. No holds on Freebies.
Only users who comment and proceed with a trade will receive the requested item.

Brand	Product	Price	Pictures
Rpro	Propane Adaptor	FREE with any item	pics
Valken	NiMH Charger	FREE with any item	pics
Valken	Echo Googles	FREE with any item	pics
Rpro	Sight Protector	FREE with $70+	pics
EF	0.20 Tracers	FREE with $100+	pics
AI	Gungas Kit	FREE with $130+	pics
Valken	Kilo Sling	FREE with $150+	pics
Rpro	Reflex	FREE with $180+	pics
Rpro	M600	FREE with $200+	pics
Rpro	APL	FREE with $200+	pics
FMA	PEQ15	FREE with $220+	pics
KWC	PD PT99	FREE with $250+	pics
Element	M300	FREE with $250+	pics
Valken	RDA20	FREE with $280+	pics
KWC	PT99	FREE with $280+	pics
HFC	Launcher	FREE with $300+	pics
KWC	PT99	FREE with $300+	pics
KWC	1911	FREE with $320+	pics
KWC	SW40	FREE with $340+	pics
KWC	M17	FREE with $400+	pics
XCORTECH	X3200MK3	FREE with $420+	pics
KWC	Deagle	FREE with $440+	pics
Madbull	XM203	FREE with $500+	pics
KJW	P09	FREE with $620+	pics
WE	xDm	FREE with $620+	pics
WE	1911SV	FREE with $650+	pics
VFC	M&P9	FREE with $720+	pics
KJW	SP01ACCU	FREE with $850+	pics
TM	PX4	FREE with $980+	pics

Collectors Pieces/Wall Hangers

Items in this section were not fielded. Tested and working.
GAS RIFLES

Brand	Product	Price	Pictures
WE	L85	$650	pics
-	MSK	$600	pics
-	CQBR Kit2	$550	pics
-	M416 Kit	$950	pics
-	M4 STRIKE	$580	pics
-	M4 MB DD 7" FDE	$500	pics
-	M4 SWS	$680	pics
-	M4 RIS kit	$650	pics
-	416	$500	pics
-	416 CQB PKG #1	$740	pics
-	416 CQB PKG #2	$650	pics
-	416 CQB	$600	pics
-	CQBR KIT	$650	pics
-	PDWL BK	$520	pics
-	SCARL Kit	$600	pics
-	SCARL BK	$540	pics
-	-	-	-
KWA	MP7 Kit	$630	pics
KWC	UZI	$270	pics
GHK	COLT M4RIS 14.5"(2019)	$1100	pics
G&G	SMC9 Kit	$700	pics

GAS PISTOLS(SHIPPED)

Brand	Product	Price	Pictures
TM	M9A1#2	$250	pics
-	5.1	$360	pics
-	5.1 Kit	$500	pics
-	P226E2 2mags	$240	pics
-	M&P9	$340	pics
-	G17G3	$280	pics
-	M9 Chrome	$400	pics
-	MEU	$320	pics
-	1911 Series '70	$320	pics
-	USP	$420	pics
-	USPC Kit	$480	pics
-	USPC Kit2	$400	pics
-	5-7	$350	pics
-	xDm	$230	pics
-	PX4	$300	pics
-	G17 w/2mags	$400	pics
-	G17 Custom DE	$320	pics
-	G17 w/2mags	$300	pics
-	M9A1	$350	pics
-	M92F Military	$280	pics
-	XDM	$190	pics
-	-	-	-
WE	MEU DT	$250	pics
-	F226 Kit	$300	pics
-	G17G4 Kit	$300	pics
-	G27 Kit	$400	pics
-	Luger Kit	$300	pics
-	PX4 DT Kit	$350	pics
-	G17 Kit2	$330	pics
-	G17 Kit4	$300	pics
-	G17 Kit	$400	pics
-	G18C Kit	$400	pics
-	G18C G4	$300	pics
-	G18C	$220	pics
-	G19 Kit	$370	pics
-	G19 G4	$230	pics
-	G23 Kit	$360	pics
-	G23 G4 BK	$230	pics
-	G26C ADV Tan	$210	pics
-	G33ADV Kit	$300	pics
-	G35 BK/GD	$250	pics
-	G35DT Kit	$340	pics
-	G17 Dual	$360	pics
-	Luger w/SIL	$200	pics
-	Luger SV	$250	pics
-	P38 SV	$240	pics
-	F228 Kit	$290	pics
-	F229R Kit2	$300	pics
-	F229	$190	pics
-	F226 DT	$240	pics
-	F229 Kit	$320	pics
-	F226 TAN	$230	pics
-	M902	$260	pics
-	M9A1 w/SIL	$250	pics
-	M9 Navy TN/BK	$200	pics
-	1911 Kit	$300	pics
-	MEU BK w/SIL	$250	pics
-	MEU SV Kit	$300	pics
-	KIMBER Kit	$300	pics
-	KIMBER	$230	pics
-	1911DT Kit	$320	pics
-	M&P9 BK/GD Kit	$350	pics
-	M&P9DT	$200	pics
-	-	-	-
VFC	M&P9T Kit	$320	pics
-	M&P9C	$240	pics
-	M&P9DT	$250	pics
-	M&P9 w/case	$300	pics
-	G17G4 Kit2	$330	pics
-	G17G4	$250	pics
-	G17G4 Kit	$500	pics
-	G17G4 w/DOCTER	$300	pics
-	G17G4	$300	pics
-	G17G5	$300	pics
-	PPQ M2 w/2mags	$320	pics
-	FNX45B	$300	pics
-	FNX45DT Kit	$440	pics
-	FNX45B Silenced	$350	pics
-	-	-	-
KJW	P09UGSR Kit	$430	pics
-	KP06 2mags	$230	pics
-	1911 Kit	$300	pics
-	KP07 Kit	$400	pics
-	G23 Kit	$320	pics
-	M9 CO2	$160	pics
-	M9A1 Kit	$300	pics
-	M9 4mags	$280	pics
-	KP09 Kit	$250	pics
-	P09 BK	$170	pics
-	P09 Kit	$320	pics
-	P09 TAN	$200	pics
-	KP05	$190	pics
-	KP05 Kit	$260	pics
-	SP01 UGSR	$180	pics
-	SP01 ACCU Kit	$350	pics
-	KP01 Kit	$350	pics
-	KP01 Kit2	$290	pics
-	-	-	-
KWC	MAKAROV	$160	pics
-	SW40	$130	pics
-	1911 TAC DT 2mags	$180	pics
-	1911B	$170	pics
-	1911 L.E.	$200	pics
-	1911 w/3mags	$220	pics
-	1911	$160	pics
-	MEU	$180	pics
-	P08	$140	pics
-	24/7	$160	pics
-	DEAGLE BK	$130	pics
-	DEAGLE SV	$190	pics
-	KCB89	$150	pics
-	M712	$150	pics
-	SW40	$120	pics
-	M17	$180	pics
-	PT99	$120	pics
-	-	-	-
AW	NE3002	$250	pics
-	5.1 Custom	$280	pics
-	HX1005	$200	pics
-	HX1101 2mags	$280	pics
-	HX1102	$200	pics
-	HX1105	$180	pics
-	HX2003 Kit	$320	pics
-	NE2002	$230	pics
-	HX2302	$250	pics
-	HX2402	$250	pics
-	HX2601	$290	pics
-	VX0111	$250	pics
-	-	-	-
EMG	STI/ TTI JW3	$400	pics
-	SAI 4.3 BK	$260	pics
-	SAI 5.1 SV	$280	pics
-	SAI BLU	$300	pics
-	SAI 5.1 BK	$250	pics
-	-	-	-
KSC	Auto9	$340	pics
Marushin	FN 5-7	$250	pics
KWA	MK23	$320	pics
-	USP MATCH	$390	pics
-	MK23 Kit	$450	pics
-	HK45 w/2mags	$340	pics
G&G	GTP9 TAN	$210	pics
-	GPM92 Kit	$450	pics
Umarex	SAA Antique	$390	pics

AEGS (Collectors Pieces/Wall Hangers)

Brand	Product	Price	Pictures
G&G	AR15 SBR8	$630	pics
-	M14 EBR-L	$700	pics
-	TR-418	$630	pics
-	Wildhog 9"	$330	pics
-	SRL TAN	$330	pics
-	GC Predator BK	$450	pics
-	-	-	-
VFC	HK416	$750	pics
-	HK416 Kit	$900	pics
-	HK417 Kit	$800	pics
-	416CQB Kit	$600	pics
-	HK416 Calibur	$650	pics
-	MK18	$630	pics
-	VR16 RISII	$630	pics
-	SABER MOD1 Kit	$600	pics
-	Avalon Calibur DT Kit	$780	pics
-	Calibur CQC	$440	pics
-	AVALON Calibur CQC	$560	pics
-	Calibur Carbine Kit	$500	pics
-	VR16 Kit #2	$360	pics
-	MK12 MOD1(SPR)	$670	pics
-	Fighter MK2 Kit2	$460	pics
-	Fighter MK2 Kit3	$500	pics
-	VR16 Saber CQB	$380	pics
-	VR16 RIS	$330	pics
-	M4A1	$330	pics
-	M4 SOPMOD	$440	pics
-	XCR-C Metal	$400	pics
-	SCAR-H CQC	$600	pics
-	SCAR-L	$550	pics
-	SCAR-L TAN	$560	pics
-	-	-	-
Krytac	PDW FG Kit	$600	pics
-	SPR BK	$300	pics
-	Vector LE	$1050	pics
-	LVOA-S BK Kit	$600	pics
-	VECTOR BK Kit	$1200	pics
-	LVOA-C CG	$600	pics
-	LMG PDW	$1100	pics
-	PDW Kit	$420	pics
-	SPR-M FDE	$620	pics
-	Vector DT Kit	$1100	pics
-	LVOA SBR DT	$500	pics
-	SPR MK2 FG	$550	pics
-	PDW FDE Kit	$580	pics
-	SPPDW	$500	pics
-	TR47	$600	pics
-	REC7 BK	$630	pics
-	LVOA-S BK PKG	$600	pics
-	LVOA-S FG	$560	pics
-	LVOA-S FDE	$600	pics
-	LMG-E	$850	pics
-	-	-	-
G&P	Sentry DE	$600	pics
-	TMR 10"	$450	pics
-	Rapid Fire	$600	pics
-	Defender	$580	pics
-	M4 Ball Medium	$400	pics
-	QRF	$480	pics
-	MOE Carbine	$570	pics
-	-	-	-
ASG	Scorpion Evo 3A1	$600	pics
-	-	-	-
KWA	SR10 Kit	$520	pics
-	KR12	$300	pics
-	KM4 RIS	$400	pics
-	SR12	$500	pics
-	SR10	$500	pics
-	-	-	-
KA	COLT MK18	$400	pics
-	B.R.O. 15"	$500	pics
-	M7	$400	pics
-	CAA M4	$400	pics
-	-	-	-
ARES	M4 DMR Kit	$500	pics
-	AM014 Kit	$500	pics
-	OCTAARMS KM03	$430	pics
-	AM014 BK	$420	pics
Magpul PTS	PDR-C	$1300	pics

USED Guns

The guns below are used. They are tested for functionality and leaks.
GAS Rifles

Brand	Product	Price	Pictures
WE	416 Kit	$550	pics
-	SCARL Kit	$480	pics
-	M4A1 RIS Kit	$720	pics
-	M4 LVOA w/4mags	$560	pics

GAS Pistols(+SHIPPING $$)

Brand	Product	Price	Pictures
TM+KWC	G17+PT99 Kit	$560	pics
-	-	-	-
TM	G17G3 Kit2	$300	pics
-	G18C Kit	$520	pics
-	PX4 w/2 mags	$330	pics
-	P226E2 w/2 mags	$250	pics
-	G17G3	$280	pics
-	G17G3 4mags	$460	pics
-	G17G3 Kit	$420	pics
-	-	-	-
WE	G18C Kit	$280	pics
-	G17G3 Kit3	$350	pics
-	G17G3 Kit2	$280	pics
-	G17G3 Kit	$380	pics
-	1911 BK Kit	$300	pics
-	MEU TAN kit	$250	pics
-	1911 7mags	$260	pics
-	F229 Kit	$250	pics
-	xDm Kit	$200	pics
-	xDm Comp 2mags	$230	pics
-	-	-	-
VFC	G17 Kit3	$250	pics
-	FNX45BK	$220	pics
-	G19G3 Kit	$270	pics
-	G17G4 Kit2	$250	pics
-	G17G4 Kit	$340	pics
-	G17G4 3mags	$300	pics
-	FNX45TAN	$325	pics
-	-	-	-
KJW	1911 OD w/2mags	$160	pics
-	M9	$150	pics
-	M9 Elite	$150	pics
-	KP-01	$130	pics
-	-	-	-
KWC	M&P9	$140	pics
-	PT99 3mags	$150	pics
-	PT99 w/2 lowers	$160	pics
-	1911 4mags	$200	pics
-	1911 4mags	$180	pics
-	1911 2mags	$100	pics
-	M92	$130	pics
-	M92 4mags #2	$200	pics
-	M92 4mags	$180	pics
-	Luger	$150	pics
-	Deagle 4mags	$200	pics
-	Deagle Kit	$270	pics
-	M17 2mags #2	$150	pics
-	M17	$130	pics
-	M&P9 Kit	$250	pics
-	SW40	$100	pics
-	-	-	-
AW	HX1004 Kit	$220	pics
-	HX2502 Kit	$350	pics
-	HX1002 Kit	$280	pics
-	HX1004 kit	$220	pics
-	-	-	-
KWA	HK45	$220	pics

AEGS

Brand	Product	Price	Pictures
Krytac	LVOA-C	$330	pics
-	LVOA-S Kit	$550	pics
-	LVOA-C FG Kit	$520	pics
-	CRB MK2 Kit	$540	pics
-	SPR MK2 DT Kit	$450	pics
-	SPR MK2 Kit	$420	pics
-	Vector PKG	$950	pics
-	GPR CC	$500	pics
-	LMG	$750	pics
-	-	-	-
G&P	LMT Kit	$300	pics
VFC	VR16 TE1 Kit	$420	pics
-	XCR-C(Metal) Kit	$380	pics
KA	BRO 15" Kit	$350	pics
-	VIS CQB	$360	pics
G&G	SRL DST Kit	$340	pics
ARES	M4 15" KeyMod	$290	pics
-	OCTA ARMS KM15 Kit	$320	pics
E&C	EC106	$350	pics

Parts

(USED)(+SHIPPING $$)

Brand	Product	Price	Pictures
AW	Hicapa Mount	$15	pics
GHK	G5 Bolt	$85	pics
-	G5 Barrel+Hop up	$60	pics
VFC	G17G4 Lower	$130	pics
-	G17G4 Externals	$150	pics
WE	G17BBU	$55	pics
-	Apache Mag	$30	pics
-	M4 Lower	$150	pics
-	SCAR-L Barrel+Sight	$45	pics
-	G18C Parts	$60	pics
-	G17 Slide/Barrel	$95	pics
-	1911 Silver Frame	$50	pics
TM	5.1 Midframe	$120	pics
-	G17 BBU w/Nozzle	$65	pics
-	-	-	-
AEG PARTS	-	-	-
ASG	Scorpion Internals	$60	pics
-	Scorpion GB	$65	pics
G&G	V2 GB	$60	pics
-	V2 GB#2	$50	pics
G&P	V2 GB	$65	pics
Krytac	PDW Upper CG	$100	pics
-	PDW FG Upper	$110	pics
-	5" Barrel	$40	pics

(NEW)(+SHIPPING $$)

Brand	Product	Price	Pictures
AW	5.1 Lower	$120	pics
TNT	H.L.R. Bucking 60	$30	pics
SI	AR Enhanced Grip	$40	pics
DP	GhostRing2(TMG17)	$30	pics
SLR	2x VFC G17 EXT Baseplates	$100	pics
G&P	870 Piston Set 150%	$40	pics
SPEED	5.1 Comp Trigger Gold	$40	pics
AIP	G17 Spring Guide	$22	pics
WE	G17 Upper	$100	pics
-	G17 Lower	$85	pics
-	Apache Lower	$220	pics
-	G18C Slide	$50	pics
-	5.1 Parts	$40	pics
TM	G17 BBU	$50	pics
-	G19G3 Internals+Slide	$170	pics
Guarder	TM G17 Barrel	$65	pics
-	TM 5.1 Nozzle	$40	pics
9Ball	M92F Sights	$70	pics
-	PX4 Sights	$100	pics
-	XDM Sights	$90	pics
-	5.1 Sights	$120	pics
-	5.1 Inner	$50	pics
A1A	G17RB1 Kit	$330	pics
-	SAI G19 Slide/Barrel	$190	pics
-	G17 Parts	$45	pics
AM	1911 Hopup	$110	pics
AM	Edge BBU	$65	pics
AM	5.1 Hammer and Searset	$50	pics
AM	.45ACP 5.1 Gold	$170	pics
Cowcow	TM Buckings	$20	pics
-	5.1 Barrel BK	$120	pics
-	5.1 Tornado SV	$180	pics
-	4.3 Gold	$125	pics
-	-	-	-
AEG PARTS	-	-	-
Madbull	363mm Inner	$35	pics
A1A	M4 CNC Hopup	$25	pics
Airtech	PDW EXT	$35	pics
G&P	KAC AMBI Release	$60	pics
-	M4 Externals	$300	pics
-	STONER RAS	$170	pics
Laylax	Vector KeyMod(L)	$220	pics
MadBull	NSR 7"	$110	pics
-	MK18 RISII BK	$165	pics
-	Noveske 10A	$120	pics
VFC	VR16 Lower	$150	pics
-	VR16 Receiver Set	$250	pics
-	14.5" Outer	$70	pics
-	HK416 Stock	$65	pics
-	V2 GB	$100	pics
-	12" Quad Rail	$100	pics
-	QRS Stock	$65	pics
G&G	ETU 2.0	$75	pics
-	GOSV3 Tan Stock	$65	pics
Magpul	Paraclip	$30	pics
-	Rail Light Mount	$45	pics
Magpul PTS	MOE Pistol FDE	$40	pics
-	RSA Mount	$50	pics
-	CTR Black	$110	pics
KRYTAC	Vector Rail	$135	pics
-	LVOA-C Rail	$150	pics
-	M4 Receiver Set	$160	pics
-	PDW Stock	$120	pics
SHS	32:1	$25	pics
-	16:1	$40	pics
Prometheus	280mm Barrel	$75	pics
-	155mm Vector Barrel	$90	pics
G&P	M170 Devil	$65	pics
SIEGETEK	Cyclone 14.09 Ratio	$220	pics
-	10.78 GS	$220	pics
BTC	Chimera V3	$120	pics
-	Chimera V2	$120	pics

Accessories

(NEW)(+SHIPPING $$)

Type	Brand	Product	Price	Pictures
Sight	SIG	ROMEO5	$270	pics
-	Firefield	1x22	$100	pics
-	VORTEX	SPARCII	$300	pics
-	AIMSPORTS	2-7x32	$90	pics
-	-	1x20mm T1	$80	pics
-	-	4X ACOG	$90	pics
-	-	4x32	$55	pics
-	LANCER	3-9x32	$65	pics
-	NCSTAR	4x32 w/laser	$110	pics
-	-	4x32	$140	pics
-	-	4x30	$50	pics
-	G&P	T2 Tan	$90	pics
-	Rpro	XPS 2Z	$100	pics
-	Rpro	T1 Dual Mount	$75	pics
-	Rpro	LCO	$95	pics
-	Rpro	ACOG 4x	$150	pics
-	Rpro	3x Barlow	$70	pics
-	Rpro	MRO	$80	pics
-	Rpro	Doctor	$40	pics
-	Rpro	552+3X Magnifier	$150	pics
-	Rpro	Reflex w/Laser	$50	pics
-	Sniper	ACOG 4x	$110	pics
-	-	-	-
Tracer	Xcortech	XT301	$90	pics
-	-	X3300W	$150	pics
-	G&G	Midnight Hawk	$90	pics
-	-	Battleowl	$140	pics
-r	Acetech	Predator KAC	$200	pics
-	-	LighterS	$95	pics
-	-	-	-
FlashHider	6mmProShop	16mm+ 14mm-	$30	pics
-	6mmProShop	16mm+ Thread Pro	$30	pics
-	E&L	AK74U	$25	pics
-	Madbull	DNTC04 SV	$35	pics
-	-	-	-
Suppressor	CYMA	LaRue	$65	pics
-	Krytac	HPS4G	$100	pics
-	5KU	KAC QD	$85	pics
-	-	556Mini	$80	pics
-	-	MP7	$120	pics
-	-	556RC	$85	pics
-	WE	Makarov	$35	pics
-	Rpro	SF 556	$100	pics
-	G&G	Pistol 14mm -	$40	pics
-	-	SS100	$35	pics
-	Krytac	KRISS	$65	pics
-	G&P	Zombie QD 14mm +	$120	pics
-	Madbull	7"KAC 14CCW	$150	pics
-	-	Blackside	$65	pics
-	-	SWR 6"	$90	pics
-	-	7" K.A.C. 14mm +	$110	pics
-	-	Gemtech	$65	pics
-	-	-	-
Launcher	G&P	M203 Navy L	$270	pics
-	-	M203 MIL	$270	pics
-	MBull	XM203L OD	$170	pics
-	MBull	XM203S BK	$180	pics
-	SPIKE'S	HAVOC 12"	$250	pics
-	-	-	-
Light	TM	CQX Micro	$100	pics
-	Element	M600P	$50	pics
-	-	M600W	$90	pics
-	FMA	PEQ15 Tan w/IR	$60	pics
-	Rpro	X300U	$140	pics
-	Rpro	X400	$150	pics
-	Rpro	M720V	$140	pics
-	Rpro	SBAL-PL	$110	pics
-	G&P	GP800 w/switch	$180	pics
-	G&P	DBAL	$320	pics
-	-	-	-
Tool	XCORTECH	X3500	$110	pics
-	ACETECH	AC5000 Chrono	$75	pics
-	-	-	-
Grip	Rpro	SI Keymod	$25	pics
-	Rpro	Red Keymod	$30	pics
-	SI	Cobra	$35	pics
-	Rpro	PK2 Metal AK	$40	pics
-	UTG	Light	$50	pics
-	Rpro	MVG	$15	pics
Bipod	ATLAS	PSR	$120	pics
-	-	-	-
Mount	CYMA	M14	$30	pics
-	Rpro	MP5	$25	pics
Covers	SI	KeyMod FDE	$15	pics

(USED)(+SHIPPING $$)

Type	Brand	Product	Price	Pictures
Grip	Magpul PTS	AFG2	$10	pics
Silencer	Rpro	Navy Seals	$45	pics
-	Rpro	7" KAC	$60	pics
-	WE	Pistol	$10	pics
Launcher	ZOXNA	Shower	$50	pics
-	HFC	HG-138	$55	pics
-	Madbull	XM203L TAN	$100	pics
Light	Rpro	M910	$70	pics
-	OPSMEN	FAST501	$40	pics
-	Rpro	M600W	$55	pics
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For some context, there's a video going around Reddit and elsewhere of a woman flashing the New York/Dublin portal art exhibit. According to some tabloids (so, you know, grain of salt, but it seems plausible enough) she claims to have earned several thousand Euros from OnlyFans subscriptions that occurred after the incident.
I don't have any stake in this or a moral stance on it, I'm just curious about how it works out legally. I know there are laws intended to prevent people profiting from crimes, but I know very little about it. This in particular is an interesting situation because I imagine the penalty would just be a small fine or something similar, so it would otherwise be "worth it". It's not like, e.g., killing someone for an inheritance where you'd end up in prison anyway.
So: is it possible that she could lose that money by having it confiscated, being sued for it etc. if she indirectly earned it by committing a crime and if so by what mechanism?
I'm not 100% clear whether she did in fact commit a crime (I think it's legal for women to be topless in New York?) but for the purpose of this question assume she actually did engage in some kind of indecent exposure/public lewdness.

27/28. Batgirl Begins - 4/5 (Starting this in medias res was a good choice, since if you're already familiar with Batman stuff, you know Barbara was gonna become Batgirl in this (and even if you don't, the title would reveal as much). So starting with a Poison Ivy fight made me more curious to see everything that lead up to it was opposed to just waiting for the "reveal" that Barbara becomes Batgirl and Pamela becomes Poison Ivy. Plus, Barbara's snarky narration was amusing. Introducing Batgirl as Batman's first sidekick (even if this was merely due to a stupid embargo) as well as making Poison Ivy be her best friend turned arch nemesis is pretty fun because of its uniqueness alone. Especially because it makes the stakes more interesting when Ivy has a personal grudge against Gordon. And I liked Batman's "not every child gets the opportunity to rescue their parent" comment. Yeah, it's cliché, but that stuff is the core of Batman, so it's nice to see this side of him acknowledged, since it rarely is in this series. Also, making Gordon not able to recognize Batgirl as Barbara because he wasn't wearing his glasses was pretty "clever". "Clever" in quotations because it's still dumb, but since most DC shows love to sell you on the idea that people cannot recognize each other's face by simply putting a mask on the top half, it's funny that this series bothered to give an explanation at all. He should still have recognized her voice, but you can't win 'em all.)
29. A Dark Knight to Remember - 3/5 (Freezing Poison Ivy in the previous episode, then defeating the Kabuki Twins by freezing them in this as well? Batman is becoming Mr. Freeze. Anyway, here's a pretty standard amnesia cartoon episode. Decent gimmick, and they also added a stock Secret Identity Almost Discovered:tm: plot to spice things up. The circumstances of Bruce's amnesia being the perfect cover for Barbara dropping the idea that he could be Batman is fun, but Bruce's actual amnesia is just cartoonishly illogical. Even if he lost memories of his last few years as the Batman, how would that also genuinely make him a self absorbed playboy? He was always a broody guy with a heart of gold, even before donning the cape and cowl.)
30. A Fistful of Felt - 3/5 (This is just a poor man's Double Talk. It treads the exact same stuff; Wesker is cured of Scarface so he lives a peaceful life before Scarface forcibly reappears at the hands of someone trying to bait him and he succumbs to it before Batman eventually confronts him and Scarface gets destroyed. Except this is way less substantial and lacking in drama and emotion. It's a shame, because during the group therapy scene, I was excited that this could potentially be a formula bender, having it take place entirely in Arkham Asylum and focusing on Wesker's recovery process. But then I remembered this is The Batman, so yeah. Also I HATE Snooty's design!)
31. RPM - 2/5 (Wow, after seeing this, I immediately went out and bought The Batman Batmobile #2 with working lights & sounds, firing disc launcher and opening cockpit! No, but really, did I actually just watch a toy commercial for 20 minutes? I get that that's where action cartoons make their profit, and that's fine, but this was so blatant it's not even funny. Like that scene of Batman arriving in his new CGI Batmobile as the camera spins around it. Give me a break. Not to imply the writers were being hacky or anything. It was clearly an executive mandate. They just wrote a lame episode around it. Gearhead wasn't very interesting, although it's cool he was voiced by Will Friedle I guess. And the episode is just about cars, a subject I do not find interesting. I did laugh at Barbara asking Gordon "taking the car?" and he just opens the door and stares at her.)
32. Brawn - 4/5 (At this point they should rename the series "The Batgirl" since most episodes now put her in the main role, having to save Batman's butt. Not a complaint, it's a nice change of pace from the repetitive Batman Stops Villain:tm: plots. This episode is pretty darn good though, which is surprising since it's really nothing but a long fight scene. Most of it consecutively takes place in real time on one street street as they duke it out. You'd think that would get boring, but Bane-ified Joker is a cool enough concept to genuinely carry enough entertainment value on its own. And Batgirl using the Batbot was fun.)
33. The Laughing Cats - 4/5 (Two Joker episodes in a row? Also a Catwoman episode, which... Yeah, Joker being in it was obviously an improvement. Making her team up with Batman to stop Joker was more interesting than had it been about Batman stopping another one of her generic jewel thefts. Them being stuck in a maze with Joker using their gadgets was fun, and I liked that his hyenas were not loyal to him at all, LOL. As a side note, Kilgore Steed's hunter schtick makes NO sense. Capturing animals to put them in a giant maze full of traps that will just automatically kill them is not much of a "hunt".)
34. Fleurs du Mal - 3/5 (I guess the show isn't going to acknowledge any drama between Barbara and Poison Ivy and she's immediately relegated to stock villain who does her villainous schtick and gets defeated? Clayface all over again. It also wasn't much of a mystery who the villain could be since it literally begins with the mayor being taken over by flowers. The characters themselves uncovering the mystery and battling the plant replicas was neat enough, so whatever. And Batman punching an old lady was funny. I don't understand why Poison Ivy replaced Penguin, though. She's replacing the people who control Gotham, and he's a washed up nobody who's lost his fortune. Also, Batman is lucky he only fought the plant replica or he would have killed Penguin. He fell right into spinning blades which clearly shredded him... Although he's still intact when they land, so I guess logic took a break for this scene. Side note, the show is getting WAY too reliant on ending with a zoomout of Batman and Batgirl as she makes some snappy comment.)
35. Cash for Toys - 2/5 (So Cash can return but not Yin? There is no justice in this world. He wasn't funny in his first appearance, and he's...slightly less unfunny here. So yeah. Add a straight up Toyman ripoff instead of just Toyman, for some reason, and you get a pretty lame episode. I get that he's a Superman villain, but the series didn't have a problem using Solomon Grundy, so Toyman shouldn't have been off the table. You could assume they just embargo'd him because he made cameos, albeit speechless, in JLU. But then, Grundy was the main focus of a JLU episode less than a year before Grundy's Night, so this doesn't add up! Not that Krank being called Toyman would make a difference, because I still wouldn't like him. So, YEAH.)
36. The Apprentice - 4/5 (Joker getting a sidekick is definitely a fun idea, and while I obviously liked this episode, it plays out exactly how you'd expect. I liked how wholesome Joker was to Donnie at first when he was brainstorming ideas and then turned grim when Donnie didn't want to hurt people. It definitely adds at least one more layer than the average Joker Shenanigans:tm: episode. You can definitely feel how genuinely scary it would be to simply be around this lunatic, especially if he has it out for you. Also, Donnie's jokes probably doesn't get laughs because he's in high school doing kindergarten tier jokes.)
37. Thunder - 3/5 (It's Maxie Zeus, the most iconic DC character of all time, doing his typical Olympus schtick. Yeah, so, the episode isn't really about him. His scheme is just a setup to show how well Batgirl can carry herself. And in that aspect, I do find it fun. It's a bit dumb that she yaps to Batman about how she wants to be in the loop though, as if she isn't just Batgirling of her own accord. He never agreed to be a team, she just stalks him. Side note, Gordon sternly correcting Grange with "batarang" made me chuckle.)
38. The Icy Depths - 4/5 (Despite being the umpteenth episode about stealing jewels, this was refreshing due to presenting it more as an actual mystery and having two villains, alongside Alfred and his old chum, trying to uncover it. It was fun how they all got the upper hand on one another, and I always like Alfred being involved in an adventure. I don't understand why Batman even needs to stop this "crime", though. The treasure doesn't belong to anyone anymore. And if it DOES rightfully belong to someone, that would be Penguin. What was up with a random rotating shot of the boat here though?)
39. Gotham's Ultimate Criminal Mastermind - 3/5 (Mr. Freeze's Arkham number is 800B5. I bet they thought they were really funny with that one. Unlike the previous BTAS ripoff episodes, this was only vaguely a ripoff of Heart of Steel, so I'll cut it some slack. But it's pretty thin. D.A.V.E. is just super smart and wants to defeat Batman, then Batman wins by just telling him something that does not compute. I guess it's neat that they finally built on those vague hints about Hugo Strange being "evil". It's just a shame the antagonist is merely his robot, not actually him. And why does he get locked in Arkham after being caught? He's not insane.)
40. A Matter of Family - 3/5 (Who sharpened Bruce's jaw?! Also, Mark Hamill and Kevin Conroy. As for the actual episode, I was underwhelmed. It's a pretty straightforward telling of Robin's origin story, but it rushes the emotional moments and doesn't let them get too "heavy", which makes them less effective. Zucco is a pretty upfront mustache-twirling villain instead of a mysterious figure, and they don't really acknowledge how devastating such an event would be, or the awkwardness of immediately being adopted by a rando. Dick just gets some watery eyes then he's instantly comfortable at Wayne Manor. But I liked tying "Robin" into something his mom used to call him. Batman speaks with a much deeper voice in this episode. Must've come with the new jaw.)
41. Team Penguin - 4/5 (Did it really take seeing teamwork in a movie for Penguin spawn the brilliantly unique plan of "more villains = harder for Batman"? This was a fun teamup, though. I'm glad they didn't go for the obvious choices like Joker, Mr. Freeze, Riddler etc and instead opted for the "misfits". Croc is the only one of the group I didn't care for. But I liked seeing Ragdoll again, and Killer Moth was pretty funny. I liked that he remained a suckup even after being horribly mutated. I liked the theme of teamwork the episode had, since it ties nicely together with the valid jealousy Barbara would have for some rando in red becoming Batman's sidekick and knowing his identity when she has been wanting that for ages. Also, Robin immediately wailing on Penguin for calling him a lackey made me laugh.)
42. Clayfaces - 4/5 (Nice to see my buddy Bennett again. Guess they wanted to redeem themselves after the nonsense they pulled with Grundy's Night. But given this is his last appearance, this was a pretty unsatisfying "arc". Him going full-blown villain didn't make sense from the start. His desire to take revenge on Joker I get, but aside from that, it shouldn't have taken him THIS long to realize he should use his powers for good instead. Basil Karlo wasn't a super compelling character or anything, but him being an ugly dweeb was quite funny, and the spectacle of two Clayfaces duking it out more than makes up for it, because that was pretty awesome. Side note, why is this company so picky with who they cast in their fricking dog food commercial? It's dog food. Just show dogs.)
43. The Everywhere Man - 3/5 (I like the concept of the Everywhere Man, but was disappointed at how little they truly utilized it for story/action potential. The first half is just a mystery where you're supposed to think it's two guys (provided you did not read the episode title), then Johnny just expositions how his powers work and Batman fights a bunch of copies. The villain himself being a copy is a cool twist, but it would've been more interesting if the copies mostly worked as a hivemind and they utilized that to make fighting them really hard for Batman since they'd be such a perfectly synchronized army. The episode wrapping itself around some girl saying Johnny was cuter as a nerd, and then the real Johnny getting the girl in the end was so random it's almost hilarious.)
44. The Breakout - 4/5 (Black Mask being in this episode is pretty neat, as he is a fairly well-known character who, despite that, doesn't seem to appear in animation a lot. That said, he was not very compelling. He's just a stern, no-nonsense mob boss. Which for the plot of this episode is all he needs to be, so I won't give him flack for that. It's a fun change of pace to have a mostly Batman-free episode with focus on his sidekicks instead. Batgirl and Robin have a pretty charming dynamic; I liked when they guessed what Black Mask's face looks like and he got pissed off. LOL. And it was interesting how it's sort of a bottle episode, with most of it taking place within the police station as they try to prevent Black Mask's militia from breaking in. Batman ending the episode by telling them to wash the Batmobile was a certified LOL.)
45. Strange New World - 5/5 (This was great. I really like Hugo Strange, so it's fun to actually see his sinister side now that he's been outed as a villain. And while at first it felt mostly like a standard zombie story, the dramaic tone and hellish visuals, alongside the crazy ways the zombies jump around, made the whole thing a pleasure to look at. But the twist is what really got me. I didn't put it all together myself until right as Batman was figuring it out, and it really made all the scenes of him fighting zombie Batgirl/Robin/Gordon amusing to think about in retrospect. That said, isn't this a Scarecrow-tier scheme? I guess since he couldn't be in this show they just gave it to Strange.)
46. Artifacts - 3/5 (For an entire episode set in the future, I was expecting more than just the spectacle of a generic Mr. Freeze battle. But that's really all there is to it. That said, I liked the W I D E Batman design. I know it's an homage to The Dark Knight Returns, but I've never seen or read that, so yeah. Mr. Freeze blatantly saying that title after seeing the Batman was so funny, though. It works contextually, but when you know the reference it felt no different than if he had said "Batman: The Animated Series". LOL. I see Barbara will go the Oracle route in this show. Sad. Also, they can blatantly reference Bennett and Yin, but refuse to show them any further regardless? Screw. You.)
47. Seconds - 4/5 (The Batman's take on Clock King? He's not officially named as such, but it's pretty much a Cosmo Krank/Toyman situation again. I found his time travel abilities fairly interesting, as it was fun to see some random schmuck effortlessly upstage Batman. HOW he got those powers though... He got bored in prison and was surrounded by clocks, so one day he could shift time. What? Also Batman has an atomic clock that is not affected by time literally shifting backwards. What?? Yeah, so, this episode has a lot of "okay buddy" moments. But really, they just added to the fun. If you're gonna be nonsensical, might as well go all in. And that ending really caught me off guard. Imagine reliving 17 years of your life like that, only to still end up a fricking clock repairman. He really couldn't have invested in stocks he knew would have gone up?)
48. Riddler's Revenge - 4/5 (I certainly wasn't expecting this series to try and pull off an emotional Riddler episode. One that actually works, no less. But here we are. It's not the deepest thing in the world, but I thought seeing his origin handled this "seriously" was an fun take, and it was interesting that his own origin was a "riddle" that he got wrong. Wrapping the origin around him and Batman being trapped in a crate was pretty clever. Although after unwrapping his entire life story to Batman, I would've thought he would be a little less hostile towards him after they escape. But no, he just goes back to being evil. I liked Batman's final line though. "When is a villain, not THE villain?".)
49. Two of a Kind - 4/5 (They got Paul Dini in just to write the Harley episode. It's pretty good, though. The different take from Mad Love is amusing to see. I think showing Harleen as a loudly outspoken ditz makes her descent into jester-themed criminal more believable. Especially since they directly give her a personal vendetta to push the criminal aspect further. But since this episode is mostly banking on showcasing the "unique take", it's hard to look at it past comparisons. Without them, it's sort of just The Apprentice but with Harley instead of Donnie. But Harley is funnier, and generally I liked all the zany stuff she and Joker gets into, so this is the better "Joker gets a sidekick" episode. Plus, it has a whole ass Joker musical number.)
50. Rumors - 3/5 (The Batman's take on... Lock-Up? Okay, not really, but the similarities did cross my mind. The premise here is pretty basic. Rumor was not a very thrilling antagonist or anything. He's some generic guy who works for another generic guy, who's just a red herring because he blames being a cripple on Batman. Really, the spectacle of Batman fighting all his past villains in the final scene is the best part of the episode. Although I'm confused why some of them are even there and in costume. Cluemaster only had one goal, why would he still be Cluemastering? And is Spellbinder really Gotham based? How did Rumor even capture him? He's a psychic! And Harley Quinn literally JUST became a villain. I liked Penguin begging Batman to stop him, though. LOL.)
51/52. The Joining - 4/5 (Oh geez, it's Martian Kronkhunter. Couldn't Patrick Warburton voice him instead of Cash Tankinson? I liked the way he casually outs knowing Batman's identity. But on that note, they sure talk about that in public a LOT here. Including the aforementioned scene, both Robin and Bruce himself yaps out "Bruce Wayne is Batman" on two separate occasions. Robin says it in a crowded street, Bruce in a small diner. Yeah, I'm sure absolutely NO ONE within the vicinity could have possibly heard those things. It's not like Bruce and J'onn are having a lengthy conversation about it right where the waitress, chef, and any potential surrounding customers could hear it or anything.
This was a pretty basic alien invasion story, and it's quite a leap in stakes compared to the usual jewel thievery. But I liked the usage of Martian Manhunter. I thought he and Batman had an interesting chemistry. Their initial fight scene was so stupid, though. "Oh no, the Batman discovered I'm an alien. Better not explain anything and instead just beat him up and run away until he catches up and then say I'm on his side". I thought the emotional anchor of Batgirl and Robin feeling unwanted was a bit undercooked, but the moment when Batman says he worries about losing them was sweet, so whatever. And I liked the scene of the villains helping the police fend off aliens.)
53/54. The Batman / Superman Story - 3/5 (With the show finally being allowed to bring in more expansive DC lore, the first thing they make is the most generic Superman story they could think of. Yeah, okay. I liked the way Batman discovered Superman's identity, and seeing the villains of Gotham take him down was fun. But a whole episode just for that that setup, with the second being a prolonged Batman vs. Superman fight scene and then stopping Lex Luthor from doing something evil? Yeah, I didn't really jive with it. Also, with literally ALL of the sky available, did Superman really just fly right into Robin? AND ignored it? Not very boyscout-y.)
55. Vertigo - 3/5 (This was decent, but it mostly thrives off of the novelty of being a Green Arrow crossover as opposed to being an organic Batman story. In fact this would have been improved by cutting out Batman entirely. I liked seeing Green Arrow's origin, and they could've explored his attempt to take revenge on Vertigo and such on his own. And while he DOES do that here, since it's a Batman show, most of it is from Batman's perspective as Green Arrow recaps his story. So, ultimately, they should just make The Green Arrow.)
56. White Heat - 4/5 (Neat revamp of Firefly. He was never a particularly compelling character, but the fact that he was already established in this show makes his descent from petty thief to molten monster in this more compelling by default than had this been his first episode a la Killer Moth or something. And with the inclusion of his girlfriend, it had some genuine emotion. Not a tearjerker or anything, but his last appearance being his girlfriend dumping him and walking away as he's stuck in a pitch black prison cell with him still faintly glowing in the dark is pretty bleak. So the fact that they managed to get all of that out of an episode that can be summed up to "Batman stops molten villain cause he's too hot" is impressive. The battle at the power plant itself was pretty awesome though. But Bruce is really risking his identity fighting with half his face exposed like that.)
57. A Mirror Darkly - 3/5 (Just like the Superman episode, the writers barely do anything to justify its existence besides thinking I should be thrilled by the mere presence of Flash. Well, when the plot is as generic as one of Flash's iconic rogues coming to Gotham to be evil so Flash stops him and Batman helps because it's a Batman show... I'm not. And just like Superman again, Flash didn't leave much of an impression of me. Adding the trait that he talks incredibly fast was amusing, I suppose.)
58. Joker Express - 3/5 (I would have thought with free reign to utilize all of DC lore, this show would be over their generic Joker Scheme:tm: episodes. Guess not. There's literally nothing to be said about this one that hasn't been said about the others, though. Batgirl being infected with Joker's laugh was definitely a very enjoyable scene. But after that, it's as predictable as Topsy Turvy, JTV or The Apprentice.)
59. Ring Toss - 3/5 (Green Lantern. I wonder what fresh, unique plot The Batman crew will conjure up for this one. Oh, Sinestro comes to attack Hal Jordan, but Hal wins. And Batman helps in between, because it's a Batman show. Starting to sound like a broken record here, but that's how unimaginative these episodes really are. It's competent, but it's pretty much shut-your-brain-off-and-enjoy-the-action tier. This one does have the middle part of Penguin with a power ring, which was genuinely gold stuff. The only problem is, it doesn't last for long enough, and ultimately Penguin's inclusion is really just time filler in between Sinestro being defeated.
60. The Metal Face of Comedy - 4/5 (Let me get this straight, Joker is digitally copied by wearing a helmet connected to a laptop while getting shocked? On top of the common trope of cartoon writers not understanding how video games work, logic is clearly not this episode's strong suit. The phrase "mentally download money" pretty much speaks for itself. Regardless, the prospect of Joker vs. Joker is fun enough alone. All the wacky antics Joker 2.0 is able to get into with his morphic abilities were visually fun. It's especially amusing to see the real Joker completely discombobulated by being upstaged and betrayed by, well, himself. Even cheering on for Batman to win.)
61. Attack of the Terrible Trio - 3/5 (The Terrible Trio were fun as a group of misfits, but it's pretty laughable how these college students are being bullied like it's middle school. Also do they really expect me to believe the hot, edgy chick is considered a loser? Jake is the only loser here. It's cool that this show actually had them transform into animals, even if the designs are little...awkward. It's also neat that they gave them a connection to Barbara's personal life, but at the same time it's disappointing that they didn't put Batgirl in a bigger role because of it. Batman's still the one saving the day. Also I was a little disappointing David's final transformation wasn't any more creative than just a griffin. As a side note, it's nice that this closes the door on Langstrom's Man-Bat arc.)
62. The End of the Batman - 3/5 (Fake title, there's three more episodes. The idea of an Anti-Batman and Robin is pretty fun. Wrath served as an entertaining foil to Batman what with figuring out his identity and everything. I think the ending is a little cheap, though. Joker uses his smile-gas so much, you'd think there would be a common antidote by now. Not like Wrath and Scorn are gonna be like that for the rest of their lives. Also a portion of this episode is pretty reminiscent of Team Penguin. Something which they even acknowledge themselves. But just because they point it out doesn't make it not true! Joker being annoyed by being put on menial tasks was funny though.)
63. What Goes Up... - 4/5 (Same as the previous Justice League members, Hawkman didn't leave much of an impression on me. But this time it doesn't matter as much because the episode doesn't put half the spotlight on him. It's mostly focused on Batman stopping Black Mask's, a villain whom I already thought should be utilized more, scheme. Which is stealing a whole building! I mean how cool of an action setpiece isn't an airborne building? On top of Robin being nth metal'd, it was a very fun watch. Really, Hawkman and Shadow Thief feel more like afterthoughts. But even that isn't a bad thing, because they had very enjoyable action scenes. And geez, poor Number One #2.)
64/65. Lost Heroes - 4/5 (Oh, the actual Toyman appears in this show. "Toyman" my ass, that's a damn Jester. Cosmo Krank is more of a Toyman than you will ever be, bud. This episode is pretty fun, if only because I think the narrative of non-superpowered heroes proving their capabilities and humbling the heroes with superpowers when they can't use theirs is amusing. Batman and Green Arrow as a duo was good, and everybody fighting their robot counterparts was cool. I think the robots had pretty rad designs. The only "bad" aspects of the episode is rehashing The Joining as the threat again, and Hugo Strange's inclusion. Not that I don't like him, I think he's a great villain. But this wasn't really a story fitting for him. He's better working from the shadows with the intent of studying the behavior of his victim, not just being a pawn to some alien robot.)

Hey, this might be a question for mostly artists, but I'm open to all opinions. My fiance was looking for a traditional piece. He messaged his artist directly with a picture of a tattoo that he really liked and discussed what he wanted. Now, one week before my fiance is getting his 'custom' tattoo, the artist posts a flash piece on his Instagram feed, with this tattoo front and center. Now my fiance is a bit upset, having not wanted to share this exact design with the general public. He already gave a $150 deposit, but isn't sure what to do. He feels ripped off. Is this a normal stunt for artists to pull? Taking a customers idea and throwing it on a flash, asking $500 for it? And to do it before my fiance even got it for himself?

I have some 1G / 10G / 25G / 40G NICs, DAC breakout cables, NVMe HBA's, 6/12G SAS/SATA cards/ cables, 4/8TB SAS3/SATA HDDs available for sale
Time stamps here -- Status updated 5/18 10pm
Edit: Corrected PoH on 8TB drives and is sold as a bundle.
Note: You have to comment and send me a PM for a response back from me.
Payment via Paypal G&S. Shipping is not included in the price.
NICs and DAC Cables

• 2 port 10/25GB (SFP28) HPE/Mellanox MCX4121A-ACUT NIC with 2 x 25G Optics included FH (Qty avail: 7 / remining 5 / sold 2) - Price each $75/- (Note these have HPE optics included and are not vendor locked and work with most motherboards)
• 2 port 1/10GB (SFP+) Dell 0XYT17 X520-DA2 NIC FH with 2 x 10G SFPs Optics included (Qty avail: 4) - Price each $25/- (Note these have optics included and card has been updated to accept all optics) All sold
• 2 port 10GB (Copper) Dell WIGCR Broadcom 57810 NIC FH (Qty avail 1) - Price each $20/-.
• 100G TO 4X25G DAC breakout cable 2.5M length - MELLANOX MCP7F00-A02AR 28AWG (Qty avail: 8) Price each $25/-

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Gen-3 Internal NVMe HBA and cables - Please specify if you want FH or HH bracket**.**

• Supermicro NVMe AOC-SLG3-2E4 (PCIe x8) features two internal NVMe connectors (SFF 8643) (Qty avail: 4 / remining 3 / sold 1) - Price each $50/-
• Supermicro NVMe AOC-SLG3-4E4R (PCIe x16) features four internal NVMe connectors (SFF 8643) (Qty avail: 4) - price each $75/-
• Dell 0CDC7W (PCIe x 16) SSD NVME Expansion Card (Qty avail: 1) Price $50/-
• Cable Matters SFF-8643 to U.2 SFF-8639 Cable with SATA Power 0.7m (Qty avail: 7 / remining 5 / sold 2) Price each $18/-

​
SAS / SATA (IT-Mode) Controllers and Cables - 6Gbps -- flashed to LSI firmware P20

• LSI 9207-4i4e SAS/SATA controller (IT mode) with 1 x SFF8087 to 4 port SATA breakout cables and 1 x SFF8088 to SFF8088 cable. (Qty avail 1) - Price $25/- sold
• SFF8087 to 4 port SATA Breakout cable Supermicro 1M length. (Qty avail: 10). - Price each $4/-
• SFF8087 to SFF8087 cable Supermicro 1M length. (Qty avail: 4) - Price each $5/-.
• SFF8088 to SFF8088 cable Supermicro 1M length (Qty avail: 10) - Price each $8/-

​
SAS / SATA (RAID/JBOD) Controllers & cables - 12Gbps

• Dell HHJD7 16port EXT SFF8644 SAS/SATA controller. This card is basically - ASA-80165H. (Qty avail: 2) - Price each $45
• IBM M5210 8port SAS/SATA controller (Qty avail: 3) - Price each $20.
• Oracle 7085209 8port SAS/SATA controller with Cache, BBU. This card is basically a LSI 9361-8i. (Qty avail 1) - Price $30.
• SFF8643 to SFF8643 (Supermicro 1M). (Qty avail: 6) - Price each $9/-.
• SFF8643 to SFF8087 (Supermicro 1M). (Qty avail: 6) - Price each $9/-.

​
Enterprise Hard Drives (SAS3 12Gbps) (< 100 Power on Hours) 7200rpm / 3.5"

• 4TB IBM/Seagate drives (Model Exos 7E8) with <100 PoH. Price each $22 (Qty avail 19). all sold
• 8TB HGST drives (Model HUH728080AL4200) with 3 drives have <600 PoH and 2 drives have 58K PoH. Price for the lot is $265/- all sold

Local is zip 60564 and will meet you at Naperville Public Library located on Cedar Glade Rd, Naperville.
Chat is disabled on my end. Please comment and then PM, also include your zipcode in the PM so that I can give you shipping cost.
Happy to answer any questions you might have and thanks for looking.

Cephalapod Genesis
The pharoah ejaculated into the river and in the sand the sperm found refuge and grew into papyrus. This an example of genesis.
Vampyrapods are the first intelligent species to live on this planet predating the dinosaurs. They came here somehow. They did not evolve on this planet. Perhaps just an ejaculated sperm from another being landing in the water. The direct offspring of this cephalapod is the modern octopus. Octopus are responsible for nearly every animal genesis on earth including humans and subsequently man made inventions and accomplishments. Octopus taught trees to fruit, destroyed the dinosaurs through becoming tapeworms, and even walked to the moon. Some of the animals you may recognize from the cellular genesis may have fused with the other local staples such as canine, equine, and feline, and reptile as well as temporarily the pachyderms in post-actualization causal genesis. This can be done by mating with, killing, eating, dying, being eaten, or simply a laying of hands or physical actions. Octopus only live for about 4.5 years of our relationship with time, but they have beaten death through a mix of telepathy and cannabalism. They've also mastered time travel. There are only 3 actual beings here. Others died in getting here and are fossilized. 2 males and 1 female survived. I call them Jack, Seth, and Claire. This is why the genesis had to completed this way as any direct offspring would not work. because theyve have infinite time to complete it, theyve walked over every inch of the planet and affected every species. In fact our own existence is simply the echo of the combined knowledge of the cephs. We are an amalgamation like the 'too much good stuff' guy from am/pm commercials. Make a bird with your hands. ¿Where are the beaks? The latest project is to use genetic science in order to bring back the mammoth and obtain a sixth digit from its feet. Should happen around 2027. When the vampyrapods first encountered life here it was eating their tentacles. So the first genesis occured in the offspring of those that ate of the tentacles. This is why modern cephs only have 8 limbs. The first language period is Enochian. A language of the eyes and limbs. Through different manipulation of limbs and eye fluctuations communication was made. After a while though telepathy became the established communication.
Here are some examples but not all of cephalapod genesis:
• Spiders (rare from trilobyte mix, had to go back in time to accomplish) (they had to avenge the original vampyrapods from being eaten from early organisms, thisnis how scorpions were able to evolve) • Mango (foilage and ceph mix. Ceph hung from a tree upside down) • Star fruit (the tree missed the octopus and tempted it to return) • Pinecone ( the bite marks of ceph beak eating the fruit of the trees) • Toucan (the beak formation from ceph in flux probably consuming a failed aviary) • Peacock (feather formations still in flux from limbs partial fusion) • Salamander (reptile/chameleon mix) (skin breathing evolution) •Sloth (feline and foilage mix) • Mistletoe bird (octopus ate a mushroom) • Lyrebird (mirage, digitage, and aviary from peacock and pheasant. Mastered the art of sound mimickry to develop better auditory communications) • Dung beetle (rolling backwards the earth through time) • VW bug (trunk up front) (mirage, digitage, pachyderm mix) (invented higher than the model T but arrived later in time) • Goliath bird-eating tarantula ( set a web to catch a bird which did not exist fully until the web was cast. When the spider consumed the bird the psuedo cannabalistic action resulted in a poison tree frog) • Snakes (a ceph lost its mating limb for some reason in a mirage mix experiment) • venemous snakes (a snake ate the eggs of its own offspring)(the cursed dinosaur souls live inside these) • Gumby (using hands to mold clay made a show about being an octopus) • Chameleon (reptile, ceph, foilage, mirage mix)(a ceph was purposely eaten by a komodo dragon to telepathically send a reverse osmosis of its makeup inside its body to another ceph that was attempting to kill the dinosaurs in the past. How they programmed the tapeworm to destroy them)

• Human organs (strife and love and tapeworm mix. Impregnating a mix of canine feline equine, ceph, pachyderm, reptilian, mirage, digitage, foilage, strife and love through years of experimentation lodged themselves systematically into more and more advanced versions and became functional in each iteration) • Sumi ink tattoo ink any ink really • The written word (anemone, sea urchin, porcupine quill, Bird feather and ink. Papyrus) • Floppy disk (suction cup on a piece of mail specifically a bill and the suction cup on the plastic window) • Cd, dvd, blu ray (laying of hands on a television screen) • Television (just a series of ceph exploring life through the inside of a glass tank with mirage and digitage mix) • Movie theater ( same but aquarium instead) • Papillon (love + insect from trilobyte and ink and papyrus needed training wheels to learn how to fly) • Taser (digitage mix of the two extra original tentacles lost from vampyrapod with mix of electric eel which was a detached limb of an octopus that had achieved ball lightning static existence) • Wisteria (ceph and foilage mix) (needed the seeds to play mancala or something) • Water strider (walked on water) • Lunar lander (digitage) (tapeworms in humans directed construction, the first electronic component gestalt high enough to become digital) (a tree really wanted to go to the moon) • Champagne cork (Ate some bark, vent plugged up and had to pee really bad) • Electrostatic Ball (attempting time travel, a ceph was meditating in complete non movement inside a digitized mirage flashing irridescence until it passed away) • Ball lightning (time travel attempt Same ceph tried a pure digitage and mirage mix) • Gnarwal (chameleon tongue, mirage and pachyderm) • Light bulb (ceph + mirage + digitage mix) (octopus crawled into a mirage jar and was irridescent) • Liquor bottle (octopus got stuck in a fulgarite and died temporarily trapping its soul in reflection but the invention of cork escaped it) • Silly string (mirage mix) (angry octopus sprayed another with diarhea from its vent) • Tapeworms (had to brave a walk into a volcano and die. As the octopus melted while running, it evolved the turkey, turkey vulture, vulture, and was just a slithering worm by the time it was engulfed by lava) • The Ten Commandments (vampyrapod fossils brought by a tapewormed moses to show people and try and explain the religion) • Dumbo (actually just a tiny cute octopus) • Hydra from capt america (introducing the public to idealogy of cephs) • Tobacco leaf (the laying of hands on deciduous plantlife, a gift to the early iterations of human) • Cow (equine ceph and pachyderm mix) essentially the Orca ate the Octopus, in its 4th stomach it finally died and so when the cow who has 4 stomachs manifested it came with udders symbolic of the octopus genesis in post actualization-causation • Rapa nui. The end of time. (Great stone heads disembodied) (mirage and strife)the final resting place. A graveyard. A place of rest always available

Tried to get these in some sort of order….. let’s start slow….
The faces
Get your screenshots
Tongue
The face I make when police check cavities
Cheese teeth
Bursting out the cage
Kratom lick
Embarrassing 🙈
Body shake faces
Caked up shawty
Chris Chan
Ankle biter
Period Pooh
Bottom
Big Ed
Kratom spill faces
Tiny diny / roses / peach ice cream / Turkey
Tiny diny
Rose / Tiny Diny
Rose
Peach ice cream
Turkey
Wheelchair ♿️
I was in a wheelchair once
BAD CHAT !
Shape up chat !
Fitwithnips
Chat did it !
TIME OUT !
Our short knight
Nicks favorite gift
Nick hates the tall knight
Mom troll gifts
Rant interruption
Bear mask era ✨
Bear masking
Menacingly
Terrified kids
Disgusted girl
Battle beef with mask
GET OUT OF MY ROOM !
Keep trollin’ , trollin’ , trollin’ , trollin’
Clown
Harris vs tree
Valentine’s Day cards
Airplane girl
EDP445
Sean Gatz
Threats
Sober king
Hurting people
Boys hate little girls
T’was the night before eviction
Soft voice prince
Soft voice prince pt2
Soft voice prince pt3
Troll accounts
Chipotle
Nicks mom
Nicks stuffed owl
Nicks stuffed owl pt2
The plaque on nicks teeth
Haywood mall security
Nicks trespass warrant
Battle fun / speed dating
Face down ass up
Tweaker talent show
Bridget speed dating
Bridget speed dating pt2
Flirting with Sophia
Sadie pt1
Sadie pt2
Don’t ignore lil Nicky
Megan - Morgan?
Unimpressed queen
Not cute call out
Plenty of women want him ?
Fighting with lip singer
Monkey kiss kiss
BRITNEY GO AWAY
Terri joe pt1
Terri joe pt2
Dance off
Handstand
Lil flippy
Wet stain
Happy birthday Gino
The call out
Passive aggressive
What does strangler mean ?
Delusions
No one letting him make them smile
I would treat you like my woman
All Reddit girls want me
It’s all the girls
Him making sense ?
Low standards
Domestic violence isn’t a joke
Not a snowflake
Taking to air pt1
Taking to air pt2
Troll army - troll king
Positive king
The lies
Ramblings of an unhinged man
Ummm…. Moves
Ummm…. Moves pt2
Face down ass up
Fart noise
Remembers us all
Sees us in public
Act your rating
Hurt king
Hurt king pt2
Happy to unhinged
Happy to unhinged pt2
Happy to unhinged pt3
Happy Birthday
Can’t hold liqour
Leave me alone
Up for a day
Up for a day pt2
Crying about Laura
Yelling at him
Putting for on plates & making legs shake
Knife
No proof
Fake crying
Because he don’t have a car
How he could be famous
Tina
He’s walking away…. Or jumping ?
Slow ??
Pick me
Misandrist
We are sick
Maturing
Incidents
Dogs out
Dogs out pt2
Hand situation
Lactation
Toothbrush boycott
Shower boycott
Bricky Nicky
Swamp ass
Swamp ass pt2
Nose in ass
Nude flash
Nude flash pt2
Cinnabeef
Whopper lies
Kratom spill
Yogurt cup
RIP bed frame
Drugs
Desk tour pt1
Desk tour pt2
Nick leaks #
Breakdown
Elf on the shelf
Admits bisexual
Haywood mall blowie
Toe sucking pt1
Toe sucking pt2
Co-worker
Mommy issues Fb post
Mommy video
Woman who tried selling pics of minors
Being creepy with minors
Drew afualo

 Cops incident 

Pre-cop
Cops pt1
Cops pt2
Cops pt3
Cops pt4
Cops pt5
Cops pt6
Cops pt7
Cops pt8
Cops pt9

 Cop incident x2 

Cops pt1
Cops pt2
Post cop live

 Matt alright incident 

Matt alright IG post
Nick’s response
Explanation of Matt alright
Live pt1
Live pt2
Live pt3
Live pt4
Live pt5
Post live pt1
Post live pt2

 Coffee shop incident 

Coffee shop live pt1
Coffee shop live pt2
Coffee shop live pt3
Coffee shop live pt4

 Gym ban incident 

Gym ban confirmation
New gym doxx
Gym ban talk
Blame for gym ban

 Mall trespass incident 

Mall trespass announcement
Pre trespass encounter
Mall pics
Mall insanity
Mall dance
JCP floor
Cop encounter pt1
Cop encounter pt2
Cop encounter pt3
Cop encounter pt4
Post mall trespass

 Wine night lore 

Chugging wine
Rambling
Puking
Rolling in puke
Post wine night
Wine stain

 Lease not renewed 

Lease not renewed
Hope this clears some of the lore and incidents up for anyone curious ! Again I am truly thankful for all of you for making this group what it is today! Let me know if I forgot anything or you think should be added!
Shout out to the posters of these videos and anyone who had input on the lore/trolls!
Happy snarking 🫶🏼🫶🏼

I'm so fucking pissed. I've just come back home after going to a doctor's appointment with my mother, and whilst walking there I finally developed the courage to take my scarf off.
As soon as I did that, my mother started to berate me in the most disgusting ways imaginable. I was called 'worthless' and 'a transgender' for daring to show my fucking hair. It's just fucking hair. What's the damn deal. It's not like I'm flashing my tits and vagina to the public.
She also told me that no man would want to marry me because I'm such a whore now. FYI, I dress modestly and always cover my legs and arms. But I'm still a 'whore' because I now want to take my damn scarf off.
I feel so fucking angry when I see these women online living in the west who make tiktoks about how they started wearing the hijab at like 25 and were initially irreligious, but then fell in love with religion. It pisses me off how they had the choice to and I don't. I just wanna show off my hair and feel pretty for once, I'm still in my youth and these years will never come back. Why do my parents have such a big problem with this. Fuck them. I fucking hate them both. Clowns.
My mother also has a massive problem with me sleeping in my fucking underwear for some strange reason. She thinks I'm a whore for sleeping ALONE in my OWN room in underwear. I can't even sleep comfortably anymore.
I'm nearly a grown adult and I'm not even allowed to cut my own hair. When I was 14, I chopped my long hair to just underneath my ears, and I was ridiculed about it for 4 months straight. I was called the worst imaginable insults that no mother should ever even think about calling her child. When my friends would come over she'd make a mockery out of me regarding my hair right in front of them. She is an abusive piece of shit.
For a bit of a background, I started wearing the hijab when I was 8. I wasn't forced to - I wore it myself because I wanted to fit in and make friends with the hijabi girls. But now that I'm a 17 year old grown woman, I have had the mental capacity to decide that it's not for me. I cannot see myself wearing it. Power to those girls who choose to wear it out of their own choice. But we must also speak up for those forced to like myself.
When I came back home from the appointment, I told my sister about what happened. But instead of supporting me, she said my mother did the right thing since it'll set me on the path to becoming more religious. How does that even make any sense.
It's been 3 years since I've wanted to take it off, yet I'm facing so many problems. I'm so fucking done being called a whore. My mother is such a fucking hypocrite since her sister and cousins don't wear it but she doesn't say anything to them. I cannot wait to graduate HS so I can finally take it off for uni.
I'm so miserable about the whole situation that at least once a week, when everyone's asleep, I like to do full glam makeup on myself, and dress in ways my mother would consider being slutty. I style myself in cami tops with curled out hair and eyeliner, and just stare at myself in the mirror.
What do I do. Please give me advice.

Contest summary from Winning Writers:

Let's Say Gay is an online literary journal for work by queer youth aged 13-18. They are currently open to submissions of unpublished poetry, fiction, creative nonfiction, and artwork. One entry per person per genre. Length limit is 4,000 words per story or essay, or 1,000 words for flash fiction. Poetry length limit not specified on website. You may opt to be published anonymously.

Contest details

• Sponsor: Let’s Say Gay
• Category: Poetry, fiction, creative nonfiction
• Submission length: Length limit is 4,000 words per story or essay, or 1,000 words for flash fiction
• Entry fee: No fee
• Awards: Publication

Guidelines and submission information (organization's contest page)
This contest has been vetted and approved by Winning Writers

Did you know that memories aren’t real? No? Not really, you can misremember or change a memory without ever knowing you have. It’s a sinisterly important fact for me, some would be worried but I find it freeing, I can share this memory without fear or shame. I most likely haven’t remembered what happened as it happened, and considering what happened on the 9th of May all those years ago, I’d say it’s likely I don’t remember. It’s a relief really that memories aren’t real; I have always hated talking about my memories, about myself in general. In my experience, people are not interested in what I have to say, unless it relates to them or it makes me look less than them. Maybe it’s all in my head, everything is really. I’m not the most people friendly these days, I think you could call me a cynic, I call myself a cynic, but I’ll try and keep true to this memory, without the influence of hindsight and my cynicism.
It’s about that puddle and the 9th of May. Why the specifically the 9th of May? Well I don’t actually know why that day, it could have easily been the 8th, the difference is hours. I do wish I could change the setting; it’s almost poetic, I could always be misremembering, it was a long time ago, and I have been told many times since that I have a flair for the dramatic. A dark and rainy night, with the wind howling, well that’s a backdrop I can enjoy.
I’m sorry. Let me start at the beginning for the sake of clarity, otherwise I’ll never finish what I start to say, and I’ll never say what I need to say.
Once upon a time I went to a party. I enjoyed drinking back then, a healthy amount for most people, but for me, a dangerous amount, I had a tendency to get inside my head when I drink.
No again I’m sorry, that’s not the memory I want to share, I want to tell the 9th of May, I think this memory will be harder to tell than I first thought.
It was a birthday party for a friend, well a friend of a friend, I knew two people there, I was speaking my wisdom at the party, normally people would just nod and slide away from that kind of wisdom, but this was during the university days, everyone is intelligent, insightful and understanding at university. We few were the self-proclaimed leaders of the future, and so understood all, my green wisdom spewed with no start or finish was always well received. I remember some of what I said, you can walk into any pub or club and listen to the drunkest person in the room, they would have spewed the same wisdom, wisdom that I thought at the time was original and wise, but really was just old sentiment repeated with new words. Despite what I wanted at the time, wisdom comes with age, not self-assurance.
But this time was my spring years, that sweet age just before I faced reality, the real harsh reality of life, I had just begun to explore the world inside my bubble, and my exploration lead me onto the well-trodden path of clubbing and drinking, the respectable rebellion. I began as I always did, by talking, talking of going to some event, a lecture, a monument, an underground pub, of all the things I could do that evening, the places I could go, I and the other future leaders of the world, the potential was ours to squander. This ended as it always would, in that night club, the very same one I would always go to, my slice of reality. Apologies my dear reader, I have a cynical mind, it’s hard to keep at bay, I’ll admit that I haven’t really tried to keep it from being an influence here, I can’t seem to help myself, but this next part of the memory is less clear, but I can relay it with a real, shame filled joy. This part of the memory feels more like a dream now, I don’t have the energy to do what I did that night, I don’t have the energy for much these days, I think that makes the memory more fond to me, drinking, dancing, worry free. Maybe fond was the wrong word to use here, jealous is more fitting, jealous of the innocence and time I wasted. The power of a drink back then was incredible; I miss the feeling, that burn in the mouth, the after taste, the saliva, the heat in your chest, and that feeling of being unstoppable. Of course drink has more than one effect, and while I’d like to believe my cloudy memory is caused by false and misremembered facts, or by the merging of a hundred single nights into one endless night, that’s too poetic. No, the memory is clouded by the amount I drunk that night, and many years after as I tried to forget this very memory.
Yet despite this, even now, the fragments still makes me smile, whether it’s because I enjoy the memories of the innocence I held then, or I’m jealous of them I cannot say, I’m a self-proclaimed cynic, not a philosopher or a psychologist, I’ll leave the analysis to better men than me. Instead I’ll try to give you an idea of what happened in the club without my opinions bleeding through. This night in the club was no different from all the others, they all start the same. Moving around the club in a daze, my head feeling big and unsteady, but also incredibly light and empty, my fingertips warm, my feet numb, I remember dancing to songs, dancing on tables, screaming out lyrics, smoking outside, stealing a bottle of champagne, fixing my hair in a mirror, buying a round of drinks, the lights flashing, the bass thumping, fog spewing, standing on my own staring at the old chandelier, crawling on the floor looking for money, I remember walking out the club and how quiet everything seemed in comparison while I tried to keep standing in the night air, looking at my hands, how bright the lights were, how blurry the world seemed and how beautiful the moon was that night. Here, here the memory starts to come back into focus, the bright street lights and night air always helped me to sober up at night, plus I’ve always enjoyed being outside in the dark night or under the moonlight, I find it comforting to stand under the moon, it’s as if I’m suddenly alive.
As I came to my senses my memory sharpened, but that’s all, my drunkenness remained. I was with a couple of friends, some who I had been at the party with and some who I met in the club, we got food, and we spent such a long time talking, our conversations were mixed, some happy, some sad, all just more green wisdom. Much later on, me and my friend, maybe the one I went to the party with (it might have been someone else, who’s to say?), walked back towards our homes not because we wanted to walk as we said over and over to our screeching friends, but because the taxi was expensive and we couldn’t afford it, we lived in different places but close enough that we could walk together. Its funny to think of this moment, back then I had the money for a taxi, but I wouldn’t spend it on a taxi, now that I’m a poor man, I’ll spend money I don’t have on taxis I don’t need, apparently the youthful idiot I was, was wiser than I am now in some regards after all.
I don’t remember walking with my friend, or rather, I know where we went, how long it took and what we probably talked about, I had walked this walk so many times before this night, and so many after, they are all the same memory to me now, I enjoyed the walking in the night, the exhilaration of that has stayed with me more than the company on those walks. I always used to break it down into three segments, and so that’s how it comes back to me now. Leaving the club, past the library, past the race track, over the river across the bridge, up the steep hill, past the first university gates (which were actually the back gates), round the campus on the public roads, to the second gates (which are the main gates), a long walk with company, a painfully short one with alone. He was still living on the Campus my friend, I lived about ten minutes away from the campus, I said goodbye and goodnight, we agreed to speak in the morning if we survived. He went through the back gates and headed towards the halls, I continued on my way, onto the second segment of the walk past the gates.
I was on my own for the rest of the walk; this happened a lot, both during my university days and many years after. I lived on the opposite side of the campus to most of my friends so this part of the walk was always mine alone, even when I started the night with the people I lived with. I didn’t mind, it was nice to enjoy the feeling of being drunk without having to show I was drunk, a few assured moments of peace under the moon light. I never deviated from my path, round the outside of the campus, opposite some housing estates, till I got next to a little shop that sold cheap, bottles of spirit. I would always stop for a moment to wish that shop was open.
Then it was down that straight road, the final part of my walk, big houses on either side, well-lit but not busy. It looked like it was a five minute walk but once you started it felt like it was never ending, and at the end of the night, in the night air, it was never ending. Sometimes I would run, sprint to see if I could make it to the end of that road without stopping, something to break the monotony of walking, other times to tire myself out so I could fall straight to sleep, and sometimes just because I wanted to run. Nearly every day for two years I walked down that road to go clubbing shopping or studying, to go for a meal, see a film, meet a friend, it was a constant part of my life, an unwanted companion and witness. Walking down that road, reader I don’t think I’m able to describe how I hated that road, but I always walked down that road, there were other ways I could walk, quicker ways, but I always took that road.
This particular night, actually at this point I suppose it was the morning. I was walking down that road in the rain and dark between the streetlights, bitterly cold staring straight into a street light walking on the right hand side. I’d always walk on the right hand side, I’m not sure why, whenever I walked on the left I had a bad day. Except for on the 9th, the 9th is the one exception.
I have no clue where the car came from; I didn’t see it until after the jump, just a blurred headlight, a door, a wing mirror. The driver, the make, the model, even the color is a mystery. It appeared and left like a phantom. There was no thought, I moved forward, but I don’t recognize that I was the one who leapt forward.
I remember the fall. I fell backwards. As if my strings had been cut and I fell limp into the puddle, there was no splash as I landed in that puddle.
The feeling I felt in that puddle, it was something I had never felt before or since, an overwhelming pull I was powerless against, I pray to never to feel it again.
Should I describe it? How to describe it? I have to describe it. I can describe the fear it inspired, but not yet, it’s easier to describe fear, but this isn’t meant to be easy, this memory never is. No the actual feeling, that’s harder, It wasn’t a happy emotion, not a powerful emotion, not a sad emotion. Hopelessness? Yes it was hopelessness. Nothing more, nothing less. No hope for the future, no point to anything, I think it is possibly the only time I felt hopelessness. You can’t live without hope.
I couldn’t stand could I? No, I wouldn’t have laid there if I could, to begin with I didn’t want to, didn’t care to, my legs wouldn’t move, arms were like stone, every muscle in my body cramped, I could feel everything. My eyes were open, rain hitting them, rain dripped from my lips to my chin, it tickled. The fingertips were warm, hair moved, stand by stand off my face. Puddle water lapped against my cheek, socks soaking up water, shirt getting tighter and heavier, jacket sleeves filling up with water, keys and wallet resting on my leg. I just lay there staring at nothing, seeing nothing.
I think to begin with I was gone; that everything I held myself up to and was trying to achieve, had suddenly left me, except my memories, memories that weren’t real. For the longest time that’s how I was, empty, even down to my emotions there was nothing I laid there empty. I could feel my body, but I couldn’t move it, I wasn’t welcome, I felt awkward, out of place.
I’m not sure how long I lay there, dead (I had to be dead because I had no hope), it could have been a minute; it could have been hours, days or years.
The light was wrong. It was dark, only the light seemed to come from a streetlight, the sky was empty, the moon had left me.
Some portion of my mind came back, I started crying, I had failed, failed at even this simple task, I lay for a long time waiting, waiting for something else to come, I should have gotten up, but I just lay there waiting, I was muttering my secret . If that had been my mind for the rest of my days, I would have spent those days in that puddle unmoving; declared brain dead on the spot. The moment raises such disgust in me, I grieved my most important failure, hated my greatest success.
I’d like to lie here, to say anything other than the truth, to save myself the pain and the shame, but I said I would try to tell this memory as it was, not as I wish it, so while I’d like to say I had a vison, a burst of strength, that hope returned to me, I can’t, because in reality it was two words that saved me.
Two words. The Two words that cut through it all. I’m still not sure if I just heard them from somewhere else, said it myself or imagined it afterwards. “Get up” it was angry, disgusted, the words were almost spat out, “Get up”. Those words have burned themselves into my mind, and affected me every day since. The fear and inspiration it awoke in my mind, throat pricked and butterflies in my stomach, anxiety. Next to the hopelessness it seemed like life had spoken, with a voice that wielded fear.
I took control of my body then……
No dear reader I didn’t…. I am almost finished, I have to be true to the memory, I can’t spare myself now, it’s too late for me to take it back. I didn’t take control, I wasn’t there yet, it took me such a long time to regain control again, but it gave my eyes back to me for I had seen nothing long before the fall. I watched as fear drove me, took the strings of my life and moved them, dragging my shell in the dust, screaming.
I cursed everyone and everything, hated myself for what had happened, Oh and the fear, fear of the voice, fear of dying, the fear that someone would see me at this moment, see me and misunderstand me, I didn’t want to die,(I don’t want to die now) I was terrified that I had tried to die, terrified I didn’t know where that urge came from, that moment of energy and intention that was actioned without the consent of my mind, that I was powerless against.
Fear drove me, commanded me out of that puddle. I’d gone insane, truly, completely, utterly mad, I was dragging myself to the curb, screaming, crying, laughing, I ripped my finger nails out, shredded my palms and hands into bloody messes my knees into bruised pulp, my head and face cut by being dragged along.
I heaved up that curb fucking curb, shaking. I started to stand and scramble forward, to escape that spot, that puddle on that road. I stood up hunched and bent, buffet by the wind, laughing, crying, waving my hands in all directions spitting, shouting, wiping blood on my jeans, I was staggering side to side shaking, soaked to the bone, I was mad, insane, disgraced and humiliated.
Why say more? I won’t go further, there is so much more but to understand it…. This was not the place for such memories. That moment all those years ago, was not the eureka moment, the next day I turned this into a joke, a story to tell.
To this day, I cannot tell you what really happened that night all those years ago, as I sit here writing and rewriting the words over and over. I don’t think I’ll ever understand it. I wonder what would happened if I could relive that night again, doing everything again now.
This was the time that my bubble began to burst and the real world hit me like a wave. Perhaps it was just a moment of growing pains. I’ve said it before, I’m only a cynic, all I have left is the memory of the 9th of May, a memory I visit daily.

I have had strong suspicions I am autistic for the past year. I joined a waiting list in November and was formally diagnosed in March. Since I’ve been diagnosed I’m finding a lot of ignorance, misunderstanding and resistance from my partner (me 28F them 27F/non-binary). I understand we all have internalised ableism to work through and some people need more time to come to terms with you’re never “getting better” and can’t be “fixed”. I feel I’ve been patient enough.
There’s two main areas I’m so unsure if I’m being unreasonable. The first is their lack of knowledge on autism means we keep having conflict. They have brought up incidents when I’ve been “difficult” when actually I’m just autistic. For example the last time I saw their mother it was in a busy public space I hadn’t been to before and I was struggling so much with the noise. Afterwards I was asked what “my problem is” and “why I couldn’t make eye contact” which came off as rude. I was so shocked I explained this is literally autism 101 and all the times I did make an effort with their mother. They did later apologise and recognised that they didn’t really understand what it takes for me to just exist in a busy social environment
The second is their upcoming birthday. In general I hate birthdays - expectations, loud noises, too many people, multiple events/days of socialising and celebration etc. For their birthday there are multiple events over multiple days. The main one is 20+ of their friends going to a baclub which was booked by them months ago when we were on a break (caused from me having constant meltdowns and them not understanding autism and finding me too difficult/overwhelming). Everything about this event is inaccessible to me and I feel like going would make me really unwell. The group is also doing an activity before we go to this bar which I was told not to come to because it’ll be loud and full of drunk people (going to an arcade and I don’t drink). This means if I do go to the bar afterwards I’ll be arriving by myself. The particular area of the bar we’re in turns into a club 30 minutes after we arrive with loud music, lots of people and flashing lights. In general I’m finding it so distressing that me being disabled wasn’t even considered when they booked their birthday. Their excuse was we weren’t in a good place at the time so they weren’t “prioritising” me when it was planned. The closer to the event, it’s having such a physical and overwhelming effect on me. I just wish they made an effort to consider my difference but instead their solution currently is “you don’t need to come”. Which I’m finding quite upsetting and embarrassing
Am i being unreasonable? Is it too much to ask for my partner to make accommodations? How patient do I have to be before i say this is harming me too much and making me ill/burnt out? I’m so distressed by it as everyone in my life has been really understanding about autism other than my partner who i care about the most 😖