Two and biggie small in the casket

Hello Reddit! First-timer here. I’m going to try and explain this situation the best I can so be please bear with me 🙏🏽
My(22F) best friend(20F) who we’ll call Alexandra and I have been close for a bit over four years now.. Sadly her father passed of cancer early this year. Before his passing, Alexandra had just started getting her life on track. She had found her first job and enjoyed though she worked long hours. She had also just started dating one of my bf’s friends but that’s another story. When the diagnosis hit, she stayed as strong as she could for her dad and family. She also decided to go live with her family (which is completely normal) despite that being the cause of many heated arguments between her and her bf who in my honest opinion never really tried to understand what she was going through. For a bit of context, she lives with her mother, older brother, and older sister who has two young children. But soon after losing her dad, she locked herself up in her dad’s room and went no-contact with her other friends and I despite several check-up messages and calls. We were all worried but our worries kind of blew over when she contacted us. We thought she had maybe gotten help or support to try and get a happy and active lifestyle again (that’s all her father ever asked and wanted for her). Unfortunately nothing had changed other than her relationship which had very visibly deteriorated (which only seemed to bring her more grief).
I was all for trying to listen to her pour all the pain and emotion she had bottled up and trying to get her to go on small outings. But the only thing that she would bring up is that no one knew what she was going through and no one was there for her except for her toxic bf. It hurt a bit but I brushed it off thinking that no matter how much I tried to help, I couldn’t put my working student life on hold until she feels better so comparing myself to a guy that does nothing wasn’t going to help. [Side note: Her family lives about 3 hours away and I can only use public transportation to move around] Eventually, we started having regular contact again as long as we didn’t bring up “sensitive”.
Here’s where things get tricky…. A few weeks ago one of Alex’s nephews turned 3 and we (as in our mutual bestie whom we can call Ann) and I were invited. We woke up early to make our way to spend the day with them. We knew we would only stay the day and so I packed my essentials to go spend the weekend with my bf afterwards. During the day, I noticed while in the living room that my phone was low on battery and so I took my charger out so that my phone would last the train ride back. Right after I got it, I was asked to take a picture of the birthday boy and so I put my charger next to where I had been seated. After the pictures, though, my charger was nowhere to be found. I searched for a while on my own before asking Ann and Alex for help locating it. Ann brought me a charger saying that she found it near where I had been looking. I thanked her, charged my phone and put it back in my bag. Fast forward the next evening, I get a text from Alex saying that I have her charger and that she absolutely needs it back. I quickly search my bag for another charger but only found mine and so I told her “ I don’t have yours, sorry”. She answered that the charger Ann found was hers without a doubt because she had left hers near the chimney in the living room. She then insisted she needed it back but failed to tell me where mine could be since I never left the room with it. She simply responded that she didn’t know and would look around but that in the meantime she needed hers. I left it at but the next day she said that they found nothing despite “flipping the house upside down” and that she knows I didn’t mean to “steal” it but she really needed her charger. I kind of got upset after that and told her she needed to further her research to find mine if she was so sure that I took hers. Today, I was greeted on our group chat by “Hey, looked around some more with my sister but we didn’t find anything. You need to get me back my charger though”. She then proceeded to say she needed it because she paid for it with her own money (so did I) and that she couldn’t keep using the non-Apple C-charger her sister had lent her because she thinks it f**** up her battery which is not true but whatever. At this point, not only is she telling me she has backup but she’s basically saying she doesn’t care what situation it leaves me in since mine is still supposedly still missing. I decided to not answer out of fear of angrily saying something I didn’t mean.
Another side note: I live alone and am the only one to have that kind of charger in my entourage that lives nearby. So without one, going and coming from work as well as basic communication for my school and work projects (or anything else for that matter) stops abruptly. Alex on the other hand hasn’t bothered looking for a job or leaving the house (because her mom pays her current bills and feeds her) accept to visit her bf when he isn’t at their home.
So I have been ignoring her all day to avoid this conflict but this has gotten me rethinking how good of a friend she has been to me (this is not the first time this kind of situation arises with her demanding action when it favours her but being much slower
So Reddit, be honest with me am I the A-Hole?

Oregon location
My partner has a medical bill that has gone to collections and they delivered a small claims paperwork thing recently. I am having trouble figuring out two things.

1. I have heard that in Oregon you cannot send to collection without notice. We never received notice from the doctors office. And if this is wrong how do I go about talking to someone about this. The information is a bit unclear, do I speak with the collections agency about it?
   
2. I don’t understand the small claims paperwork because it basically feels like they want us to pay the debt plus the court filing fees making it even more expensive. I am willing to pay the debt with them directly provided they withdraw the small claims thing. Should I call them to figure this out or try to do number 1 first?
   

Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/sukTCWN
No trades. Knives in timestamp are for sale over on Knife Swap, posted on my profile.
G19.3-4 Magazine Bundle: Will not ship to ban states. I cant tell whats what, 3 of these are one gen and two are the other, i cant tell. Same thing as above, I don't think these have been used or potentially even loaded. All Glock OEM mags. Asking SV: $95 $85
Blackpoint HolsteSig Foxtrot:These are both brand new, never used. Bought for a carry setup that I did not finish. Foxtrot 1 (crazy bright light for how small it is) and Blackpoint made specifically for the Macro with a Foxtrot. These together are like $170 new, I am asking SV: $95 $85 for them both.

Heyo, I am looking for a new friend or two that I can nerd about with on games or even just talking about stuff.
A few things to know about me is that I'm a big goofball that fuels his life on humor and keeping things pretty light hearted. Expect alot of jokes from me. I play all kinds of games of different genres but my top 3 are rpg, strategy, and fighters. Just a heads up I'm not a huge fan of gory horror stuff. But there have been exceptions (The last of us, 7 days to die.) But expect me to act like the coward I am lol.
I feel that in terms of skill I'm generally above average, but I also play games strictly for fun. (Imagine that, right?) Therefore I don't mind going on games like league and ending up being the guy that got the least kills and most deaths, or dying right away on fortnite. As long as we enjoyed ourselves and had a good laugh. Thats not to say I have any competitiveness in me. I just like to keep it fun.
I have a huge bucket list currently and a bunch of games that I would actually like to play beside someone else. That said, sometimes I fixate on one thing and sometimes I'm more in the mood for something else. Call me a variety gamer or something.
A small list of things I am currently playing or would like to play follows below.
Final Fantasy 14 (long time player, recently returned. Crystal server, Mateus)
Tekken 8
Helldivers 2
Age of wonders 4
League (Aram 98% of the time)
Fortnite
Lethal Company (I'm a coward but I like the game alot)
Stardew valley (on and off for years, after the recent update I wanna get into it again but not alone)
For the king! (I only have 1)
There's more but if I put them all here it would be a much longer read. If your interests aren't on this list, then tell me about it! I'm always willing to try something new.
Finally I wanna drive home the point that I am looking for an actual friend. Not just someone I hit up once in a while for doing ABC. I'm an adult and I got a life, I don't have constant availability and I don't expect it either. But I'd still like a legit I can just chat up when we can't game and then get together for fun times when schedules allow it. That said, no one under 18. Sorry.
I have discors but id like to chat a bit here on reddit before moving over. Looking forward to hearing from a new friend(s)!

I quit two jobs in 8 years, the owners kept old papers piled up and in file cabinets that were opened regularly. My last employer used my office to store all documents from the early 80's. Same symptoms severe headache pressure fatigue light sensitivity for months. Luckily unemployment granted my claim, I took pics and documented Dr. visits .
I get the exact same symptoms hiking out doors in dry fine dust and some of the hiking trails here have ground up cement type products on them, instantly I feel my sinuses close and next several days I suffer severely.
Two days ago I grabbed something I stored under the bed and yesterday was hell with headache severe pressure and I can often taste the dust in my face. So weird. I have 3 air purifiers 2 in my bedroom and wash our sheets on hot every Sunday. Dust and vacuum often etc.
I honestly don't think I'm allergic to dust mites specifically it feels like anything airborne small enough to breathe in. Is that possible that the actual dust is what is making me sick? Dust mites aren't in outside dirt are they?
Sorry if it's a stupid question but is anyone else the same as me? People I used to hike with suggested I was making it up. (A holes) i had to stop hiking in those conditions, when I wore dust masks on hikes they made fun of me, pre-pandemic many were in Medicine too.
I have never met anyone with a similar problem.

I’ve been putting all my income into paying off my education loan, so I haven’t been able to do much for my aging parents. They never ask for anything, but I want to fulfill their wishes.
I started a small business with good potential, but my parents want me to focus on my job, switch to a better one, and get married within a year. They want to see my wedding and grandchildren.
My business hasn’t made much in the last six months, but I believe in it. I want to take the risk because I don't want to be stuck in a 9-to-5 forever.
Safe path: Improve my job, switch contracts, save for marriage.
Risky but rewarding path: Keep working on my business.
Edit - I’m the only child without an elder brother, and I have two married older sisters

Was on a frozen planet for a bounty, had 80 in my Thermal protection. Only got about 10-15 minutes before my health bar was half orange. And most of this time was spent inside a cave.
I can understand when there's a storm happening or you're stood next to a corrosive gas vent it ticks down quickly. But just ambient levels killing you in about 20 minutes is too quick, especially when there's no way to mitigate it other than "Just sit in your space ship for 5 minutes every 10 minutes". I know a lot of things are done for gameplay over logic, but it seems weird that... no one has made suits better? Workers can't be outside for 10 minutes before getting hypothermia and no company has gone "This is costing us lots of time and resources".
Some suggestions on making this easier:

• Ambient temperatures, radiation, etc should tick down a LOT slower. Could also slow down how often the damn tick noise happens.
• Ways to temporary buff your protections. I know NMS has a meter you can recharge, but this gets tedious quickly. Just add consumables that buffs a single protection by 50 for an hour or 100 for 30 mins.
• Easier ways to change/increase the protection stats of armor. I can't remember off the top of my head, but I don't know if any mods increase this. I know there's the pre-fixes you can get that give +25 to something. Just have mod slots on armor and helms that allow you to give small amounts of protection. For example, with no ranks you can add +5 to one type. Rank 1, two types get +5, etc, to Rank 4 you can have all types get +5 or two get +10. This (and consumables) let you plan ahead or negate some of the RNG of equipment stats by letting you modify them slightly.
• POIs should have ways that negate these when you're near. For example, on frozen planets the POIs should have industrial outdoor heaters to keep people who are there (originally workers, now raiders) alive. Or have more POIs that have "protection domes" over them that half the severity of ambient/weather effects.

Also a side grievance; you don't need to keep telling me I have orange health bar damage. I'm aware!

Anyone else feel this way? I feel like a lot of the boons don’t really mesh well together. Although one or two of the duos I have gotten have been pretty cool, a lot have been underwhelming and I find myself leaning more towards trying to find boons from the same god rather than trying to combo them, unlike hades 1.
This problem is especially prevalent with the hammer upgrades. A lot of them seem weak and don’t really change as much of my run as they did in hades 1. In that one they were run defining, now they just seem like small buffs.
Maybe I just need to play more and unlock/see more stuff, since my memory of hades 1 is endgame. What do you all think?

I used to go to mainstream school, mostly full time but I would sometimes get unwell (aka burnout) and spend a week in my room. I was academically and socially doing okay until the last two years, where I started isolating myself and did worse than expected in my exams. I liked the school environment because I could look to what my peers were doing and copy that, and often tasks were introduced with lots of detail + there was a clear person to ask if I didn't understand what I was meant to do.
I moved away for university but I began to shake every time I went outside. Sometimes I would get overwhelmed and spend two days in my room with nothing to eat or drink, in silence, ppl thought I had gone away for the weekend. I dropped out and went back to the family home where I was unwell for a while.
I finished my degree with distance learning. I then tried to get a masters degree via distance learning but ended up dropping out after panicking over an essay I didn't have the mental energy to do (I had just moved) and a presentation I felt went badly (I have no proof it went badly, I just felt terrified).
I struggle with personal hygiene and with keeping the house clean, I have low energy and am easily confused.
I have had a few freelance bits of work, based from home, but found them very panicky and struggled with the admin (I think I didn't send a solid 1/3rd of my invoices), I also struggled with keeping track of time and returning emails (or knowing what was expected of me). I crashed out of those after about ~6 weeks maximum, despite finding the topic interesting.
I can hold conversations in person p successfully as long as I'm not confused, in which case I freeze up.
I am creative and I know a little about how to do successful applications for arts projects. I want to apply for several schemes which aren't currently open but I'm scared that a) I won't get them or b) I will crash out of them. I got on a training scheme a few months back, the interview went very well and they knew I was autistic, but I didn't understand what I was meant to be doing and dropped out almost immediately bc it was a small company and I felt so embarrassed that I was already confused and that I would be burdening them if they had to start making documents specifically for me.
My perception of myself is that I panic and get overwhelmed and crash out of everything. I don't know what to do.
Perhaps I can sell art or do one-time commissions?
I am just so socially afraid now, there's only like one person I consistently reply to and even then its 50/50.
I don't know. Is this relatable and if so has anyone moved past this or should I be focusing my energy on attempting to get more support for my disability?

I'm new to plants and very excited to be getting a plant stand and light to start growing some succulents and cacti (my house is low humidity so it seems the best) I live in a small town with not much access to already started plants so was thinking of ordering cuttings or leaves from Etsy to grow from scratch. I know it's a slow process but am I also just setting myself up for failure since the only plant experience I have is my kalanchoe my dad gave me that I didn't even know what it was until a week or two ago but it seems alive and happy after a few months under my care? I was thinking of starting with regular succulent/cacti soil and then adding additional perlite and pumice. Am I better off spending more and ordering a whole plant or should this be ok? Any tips or recommendations of plants for me?

Hi, I am in college and was wondering if there was a way to get faster internet for my current residence.
After doing some research on home networking, I noticed that there are 2 ways to connect to the internet; ethernet and wifi.
So the equipment in my dorm is a router and a modern in which I don't have access two.
In my research, I also found that it would not be the best possible way to buy another set of router and modern because it would then cause trouble with the original pair. So I was wondering if there was any networking solution to whether I can get either better internet or ethernet for my PC. The reason being that the current network I have been using constantly disconnects every few mintuies (So I am guessing that ethernet is the best choice here). Are there small devices that would allow me ethernet near my desktop computer with me having access to the modern or the router?

Hello to everyone reading this.
I'm not asking for money.
I am asking you to help me, I am from Ukraine, from the city of Kharkov. Because of the war that Russia started, my city has suffered a lot, it is bombed every day. My family's house and the workshop where I was doing business were destroyed by Russian missiles. But, thank God, everyone survived.
I want to move to America to start building my life from scratch. But to get to America, I need documents, or rather, we need them - me and my fiancée. We are also taking our two cats with us.
You don't have to pay for this, it's a free program for Ukrainians who want to move to the USA. The program is called U4U. You are only required to make us invitations, on these invitations we get a work permit and can work immediately. WE DON'T NEED ANY FINANCIAL HELP! We have small savings for the first time.
Also as a thank you, when we arrive and start working, I plan to reopen my workshop. I used to make handmade leather goods in Ukraine. Once I start doing that again, I will make some pieces for you FREE out of the kindness of my heart for your help.
Thank you for taking the time to read this article.
We really hope there are still kind people in the world who can help us.

I would like help to better understand my potentially bpd mother and where she is coming from.
I am pregnant, and two months ago I told her that I was looking for cheap rental spaces to have my baby shower because we have a lot of friends, and I sent her links to the locations I was looking at and some of the themes i was looking at. She got very upset with me and said women don't typically host their own baby showers. I let her know I didn't know that, we've never done this before. That made her more upset with me, and I didn't understand why.
Two days ago she asked how many people we were planning on inviting to the baby shower, and I told her about 45-50, because we have a lot of friends and family. She got very upset and said they weren't all going to fit in my brother's house. I let her know that is why I suggested an event place to host it, and some were very cheap, only $50/hr. She got really upset with me and said that what we were wanting was more like a wedding. Which to be fair, our wedding was very small, we had maybe 15 people there, but we've gained friends since then.
I reminded her that I would be happy to help pay for whatever they needed me to contribute because before I was planning on hosting it myself, so I had already allocated like $2k for the shower. This made her extremely upset with me, and I felt like I was just trying to help, but the more I tried to help the more angry she became.
She didn't like my theme idea, so I sent her a bunch of cute pictures and ideas related to my theme. She hated on it more and more. She pushed back on my ideas so much that I began to get upset and I started to cry because everything I wanted for my own baby shower was getting completely shat on.
My husband basically said just give her what she wants to keep the peace. So now we're having a family only shower at my brother's house, and she's choosing the theme, and I was also told that I have to open gifts (I don't like having attention on myself bc growing up attention meant I was getting abused, so I didn't want to have to open gifts in front of people and have people stare at me for an hour). So now I'm getting nothing I want, she is getting everything she wants, and I'm wondering if I should even show up to my own baby shower because it's not about my baby and my husband and I, she's made it about herself and what she wants.
I'm really struggling to understand this mindset, and I would really love to have more understanding and try to be more compassionate about why she does the things she does. I would like for her to be in our baby's life, so I am really trying to have a better perspective so I know what makes her do the things she does so it doesn't hurt so much when she does them. I'm trying to understand so I will actually want to go to my own shower, and actually want to foster a relationship between her and my son.
Any insight or perspective is welcome, any advice is welcome, and I really appreciate any help you can give.
Also, this isn't the first thing she has completely railroaded me on in my pregnancy. She's done this the entire time, this is just the most recent episode. And this is her 5th grandchild, 5th boy, but it is my first child, so it's not like it's her first and it's super exciting for her.
Thanks for your help!

A little over a year ago, I decided I wanted to read Guy Gavriel Kay for the first time. I don’t know why I knew it was the right time, I just did. I had been aware of Kay’s work basically since I began reading Fantasy, probably at least a dozen years ago now, and I had always planned to read him eventually.
For some reason, however, it just felt like it was time. I’m so glad I did.
So, after reading fifteen novels in about 13 months, here are my spoiler-free (some small spoilers will be covered) thoughts on each one. If you are a GGK fan, I would love to hear your thoughts and favorites as well.
And if you’ve never read him before, I hope you will take the leap!

• The Fionavar Tapestry (1984-1986): The first thing to know about these three novels (The Summer Tree, The Wandering Fire, and The Darkest Road) is that they are not very representative of the rest of Kay’s work, which is mostly Historical Fantasy. Fionavar, however, is 100% High Portal Fantasy. It tells the story of five Canadian graduate students who are transported into a fantasy world and tasked with saving it. Many readers like to compare the series to Tolkien (largely because a young GGK famously interned with Christopher Tolkien) but I disagree. It is much more 'Narnia meets A Song of Ice and Fire'. Beautifully written, but also containing quite a lot of adult content, politics, and a heavy dose of mythology. I enjoyed it quite a bit, but if you don’t like it that does not mean you won’t like other Kay books.
• Tigana (1990): Perhaps Kay’s most famous and well-regarded novel, and also the first time he began tinkering with his now well-known style of writing a history-adjacent story. Tigana is set in a place very reminiscent of medieval Italy, where two sorcerers are battling over both the land and the hearts of the people who live there. While the writing is a step up from Fionavar, I did find it a touch over-dramatic at times, with characters that are not all as fleshed out as I would like. Where the book excels, however, is in its themes - Memory, Loss, Colonialism vs Patriotism, and more. It's fascinating and well worth your time.
• A Song for Arbonne (1992): Shifting from Kay’s most well-known novel, we now have probably his most underrated and under-discussed. A Song for Arbonne is set in a fictional version of Provence, France during the high Middle Ages and follows a feud between two dukes and two very different ways of life. This is a beautifully feminist novel (especially for 1992) and also made me love troubadours, which is not something I ever thought I would say. Highly recommended, especially in audiobook.
• The Lions of Al-Rassan (1995): My favorite Kay novel, and one I will unabashedly gush about for the rest of my life. Set in a fictional version of Spain during the Crusades, we follow three characters – a Kindath (Jewish) woman doctor, a Jaddite (Christian) military leader, and an Asharite (Muslim) Poet/Diplomat. These three very different people from very different backgrounds are thrust together amid absolute turmoil and form a bond that defies and transcends cultures. It absolutely broke my heart when I read it, but somehow also made me as hopeful as any book I had ever read before. This book is perfect. Read it.
• The Sarantine Mosaic (1998-2000): This two-part story is set in the same world as The Lions of Al-Rassan, but many centuries earlier and hundreds of miles to the east. We follow a young mosaicist named Crispin who is unexpectedly pulled from his obscure country life and tasked with traveling to Sarantium, the greatest city on Earth, to build a new cathedral for the Emperor. Along the way, he meets many incredible side characters and witnesses the empire experience huge amounts of change. This is another favorite, and is far and away Kay’s most epic story. If you like Gladiator or Spartacus, you’ll love this. Plus it has chariot races!
• The Last Light of the Sun (2004): A Viking novel set in the same world as the last two. Shares many of the same themes and ideas of the previous novels as well – people from different cultures coming face to face with modernity and changing times. It’s a very good novel, especially if you enjoy Vikings, but a step down for me.
• Ysabel (2007): Probably far and away Kay's most unique book. It’s a modern, YA novel set in Provence. We follow a young teenage Canadian boy who goes on a work trip with his photographer father and gets swept up into a mystery involving some of the artifacts and other historical sites there. This book is also loosely connected to Fionavar. I enjoyed this one more than I thought I would, but it was still a bizarre experience compared to literally everything else Kay has written.
• Under Heaven (2010): Kay now turned his sights to ancient Chinese history, specifically 8th Century Tang Dynasty. Like his other stuff, though, this is not actually historical fiction - it's set in another world with different names, etc. The son of a renowned general is given 250 prized horses as a gift for his work burying the dead from both sides of a large battle. This outlandish gift forces the young man to become embroiled in the politics of the empire and allows him to witness a startling change to his people's way of life. Lots of people LOVE this book - many even list it as their favorite of Kay's. It did not resonate with me the same way. It's very good! But not my favorite.
• River of Stars (2012): A pseudo-sequel to Under Heaven, set about 500 years later in an era largely defined by the events of that previous novel. Whereas in Under Heaven Kitai (Kay's version of China) was an up-and-coming military power, in River of Stars it has become a wealthy, arrogant cultural hub that is seemingly unaware of its instability. We follow quite a few different characters from multiple backgrounds in this one and, like so many Kay stories, get to see large events take place through the eyes of these 'small' characters. I imagine that whatever your feelings were/are for Under Heaven, you will feel mostly the same about River of Stars.
• Children of Earth and Sky (2016): Kay returned to his 'Jaddite' world for the first time since 2004 for this novel, and (for this reader at least), it was a joy! It takes place about 1,000 years after the Sarantine Mosaic, in a world where the great city of Sarantium has fallen to the Asharites and the surrounding world is trying to pick up the pieces. It's a time of a lot of upheaval and turmoil. This novel follows quite a few very diverse POV characters, which (while sometimes confusing) gives it an 'epic' feel. We have artists, traders, military leaders, sea captains, pirates, and more. While I would not necessarily suggest this as your first GGK novel, if you are a fan of the Sarantine Mosaic (and to a lesser extent, The Lions of Al-Rassan), you will find MUCH to love here.
• A Brightness Long Ago (2019): Taking place about 25 years before the events of Children of Earth and Sky, A Brightness Long Ago perfects Kay's most notable theme: The effect that small, 'unimportant' people can have on huge, global events. We follow a young man named Guidanio, the son of a common tailor, who is swept up into a local feud between two legendary mercenary captains. In the process, he falls in love, faces unspeakable tragedy, and eventually witnesses the fall of the greatest city on earth. What sets this book apart from other Kay novels is that it is mostly told in 1st Person POV by a much older Guidanio in the form of his life story. It is one of Kay's most intimate and best-paced books, and although I still don't think it matches his peak, A Brightness Long Ago is certainly his best novel of the 20th Century and proof that he is still a master of his craft. Highly recommended!
• All the Seas of the World (2022): Kay's most recent novel is both a sequel to A Brightness Long Ago, and a prequel to Children of Earth and Sky. As such, I will not go into a ton of detail but suffice it to say that if you enjoyed those two novels you will love this one. It's a separate story, but there is enough overlap and easter eggs to keep your attention. While I would not rate it higher than A Brightness Long Ago, it was once again a great read and certainly worth your time.

So there we have it! Fifteen novels in just over a year. I'm not sure binging his work is the best way to enjoy Kay, but I still had a great time and plan to reread many (if not all) of these books again someday.
Guy Gavriel Kay is a master, and his work should be cherished. I'm a fan for life!

Hello to everyone reading this.
I'm not asking for money.
I am asking you to help me, I am from Ukraine, from the city of Kharkov. Because of the war that Russia started, my city has suffered a lot, it is bombed every day. My family's house and the workshop where I was doing business were destroyed by Russian missiles. But, thank God, everyone survived.
I want to move to America to start building my life from scratch. But to get to America, I need documents, or rather, we need them - me and my fiancée. We are also taking our two cats with us.
You don't have to pay for this, it's a free program for Ukrainians who want to move to the USA. The program is called U4U. You are only required to make us invitations, on these invitations we get a work permit and can work immediately. WE DON'T NEED ANY FINANCIAL HELP! We have small savings for the first time.
Also as a thank you, when we arrive and start working, I plan to reopen my workshop. I used to make handmade leather goods in Ukraine. Once I start doing that again, I will make some pieces for you FREE out of the kindness of my heart for your help.
Thank you for taking the time to read this article.
We really hope there are still kind people in the world who can help us.

Rolled a doobie and reflected on my characters life…
Chapter 1: Survive
I woke up by the coast, my hands were cold, my memories were empty. Survival was my instinct, food was my goal. Buildings peered in the distance, so I followed the coast up in search up shelter. As I approach what appeared to be a small town, there was a sign that said “KAMbIWOBO”. I sprinted past the sign into the first house I saw, there were people in the street, but not people of sane minds, they walked aimlessly, twitching when they heard sound; instinctively I avoided them.
Entering the building, it was cold, but warmer than the elements. I quickly shut the door and looked around the small house. There were only two rooms, one had a cooker and kitchen area, a fridge that was longing for electricity, dust had built a thick layer on top. On top of the fridge sat a single can of baked beans, the holy grail, I stuffed it in my pockets in hopes that I’d find a way of opening it in the near future. The second room was a bedroom, long forgotten by the person who used to rest in it, there was blood splattered on the walls, dried, no way of telling if it belonged to the previous home owner. Beside the bed laid a damaged raincoat, I threw it on over the torn rags that I called a shirt, a sense of warmth and protection grew inside me.
Before moving onto another house to find something to pry my canned beans open with, I peered through the dirt stained windows to scout out the ‘street dwellers’. The coast seemed clear so I made a run for the house opposite, I heard a scream as I made my move and as I turned to my left, one of them was sprinting at me with eyes of hunger and death. I managed to pull the door to the other house open and slammed it in the face of the mindless human. My heart was racing, I looked through the window, it was a women, or, used to be a woman. Her scream alerted the other that were condemned to a life like her own, and before I knew it, there were 4 pounding on the door… I needed a weapon. I ran round the house in search of something to defend my self with, and finally a kitchen knife, sat on the counter, calling my name. I ran over to the window and shouted to lure them over to it. And then, I butchered them, one after the other, swing after swing until their screams fell silent, I felt proud yet guilty.
After staring at the bodies for a few minutes, I took the same knife, wiped the blood off on my ripped trousers and began to pry open the can of beans I found. They were cold but I was hungry, and I had never tasted anything better. It was time to move on, there were no more of those ‘things’ wandering the streets after the massacre at the second house so I ran through the rest of the houses in the lower part of the town in search of helpful items. I found: some brisket spread, a can of food which I couldn’t make out the label so it was ‘unknown,’ one can of cola that I drank half of and stored the other half and an empty bottle of water. Not much. But it will get me by for the time being.

So I just got snipped about 11 hours ago. I live in a small European country, where snips are not very common. Waited almost a year and a half for my appointment (6 months mandatory wait for potential regrets, then crazy wait times and some admin issues). At least it's for free. I took the rest of the week off work, although I don't really get any official sick days (benefits of being self employed, with the disadvantage of no work=no money).
I will try to give a dry account of the experience, mostly for anyone considering it or those that are worried and stressed about it on D-day as I was.
Emotionally I was frazzled all morning before the procedure, but by now I am slowly easing into it.
The procedure itself was scalpel with small incision, and cutting of about 1cm of the duct, and self dissolving stitches. The doctor was nice, helpful, explained the procedure and attended to all my worries.
It went quite fast and smooth. Maybe 15-20 minutes, it felt longer but I was out fast. The local injection on the left side caused some sharp pain, but it went away quickly. Didn't feel almost anything else. The right side injection was almost painless, but the procedure was unpleasant for a bit. Not really pain, more of a feeling of being kicked in the nutts, without the sharp pain that comes with it. All in all I would say the pain was at most 6/10, and usually less than 3. Discomfort peaked at like 9/10 at times, but it was quite tolerable with some breathing exercises and the doctor being amusing.
When I left there was some pressure and discomfort. I went home to rest and have been in bed aside from toilet breaks. Lying down with legs slightly raised, and almost constant cooling. There is pretty much no pain so far, and still some discomfort, around 1/10 at most. Standing and walking around can get it to like 3/10, but usually I barely feel anything. Some leg movements can cause a momentary jab of minor pain, but really nothing serious. Didn't take any painkillers at all so far, and I don't feel a need to as I am quite comfortable (but I was always in favor of feeling the pain and understanding it).
Special mention to my absolutely angel of a wife, who drove me to the procedure, waited with me and helped me relax, took me back home and is doting on me left and right, despite having a hectic schedule with our very hyperactive elementary-school-age kid.
One thing I will be happy to know, if anyone has experience with that specific type of procedure: I have a band-aid on the stitches. When would be a good time to take it off?
Thank you, and I hope my account of the procedure will help other people come to it more relaxed and at peace. I will update if anything special happens. Otherwise probably in a week or two to report how easy it was, and in 2 months to report success.

I study a course with politics modules at warwick and i'm so so so tired of the PAIS team. It seems like literally everything is a mess in their department. Last year when i was a fresher they sent out the wrong paper for the exam which featured questions we apparently weren't allowed to do. They only notified people via a small pop up on the website in the middle of the exam, which people weren't even guaranteed to see as there was no reason to look at the website again until the submission. About an hour later they sent out another memo basically saying 'actually ignore that, you can do those questions just don't do two questions on the same topic' but at that point it was too little too late as anyone who'd started writing for one of those questions and saw the pop up would've erased their essay by then. They then sheepishly sent out an email after the exam saying to apply for mitigating circumstances if you flopped their exam from their fuck up.
Their IT is also so confusing and bad. Module selection is always a nightmare with them because the form is super hard to find and really weirdly worded. There's also no confirmation email sent after the fact so i honestly have no idea if my choices have even been recorded. They're kind of rude and short in emails and sometimes don't even respond to them at all. I missed the module pre-registration window last year and had to email them privately and not only did they barely ever answer my emails but even when they did they were super disorganised and often didn't read previous emails. I ended up having to go to the coordinator of my degree and ask them to advocate for me.
Not to mention they always seem to have some kind of issue with marking. Last year during the strike i didn't get an essay i submitted term 2 first year until term 2 second year. Even now that the strikes are over we're still getting emails from them saying marks are going to be late or behind.
I literally have 0 issues with any other departments, its just PAIS. I feel bad for anyone taking straight PAIS at Warwick.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHS2EbnBj0Y
Johann Baptist Anton Vallade was born circa 1720 in Ingolstadt and lived till presumably 1780 in Mendorf. Not much is known about his life. He must have been educated in or around Ingolstadt. In 1747 he first appears as an organist at the small church of Mendorf, a position he apparrently held until he disappears from history around 1780. His music was well known throughout Bavaria for its pedagogical work. He published sets of preludes and fugues for keyboard, including one, that encompasses all 24 keys. Two other sets clearly had an educational purpose. (source: Partitura Organum)
This preambulum is part of the Dreyfaches Musicalisches Exercitium. Played on the small Heilig Geist Organ of Ottobeuren (the Hauptwerk model of it), using a small registration. I don't make a habit of using a 3' stop in a fugue, however in this uncomplicated three part fugue it works nicely (I think).

This is not any kind of complete love story with any complete ending it's just collection of few incidents. I am just writing it on the run. I am using dummy name for her let's call her Shree.
So story starts in 7th standard I guess. Once day an aunty approached me while I was going for tution class that she wants to talk to my tuition teacher regarding admission of her daughter because their family recently got shifted to our near by society and while I go for tuition probably she might have seen me.
So from here story starts, next day Aunty was with her daughter "Shree" she introduced me with her and we went to tution as usual she was walking a little far behind us ( me and bro ) and following us to the tution because she didn't know the path but Idk what I had no feeling for her with first sight. Like for a month or two she was attending tution with us we almost never talked to each other because I am very shy person and same with her.
After that vacation started and I went to Mama ke ghar and idk what happened I stated to see her in my dreams like playing badminton in our society compound and talking with her so much and she was always cheering and happy in my dream I slightly thought about it that I might like her and eventually started falling for her.
Incident - 1 I started developing very little little feeling for her and one fine day I she came to me with some project work/ model she wanted to create a solar system with toys 😂 idk what was she expecting and she described the project so so un realistic with those material. I brutally told her that it's not possible like this ( I had no communication skills but I really liked her ).
Incident - 2 We used to play games in compound we have a common society compound ( very complex to understand ) and it was her bday she gifted me and all other kinds "Kaccha Mango" it was very special for me I exactly remember she gave me 3 and I kept in hidden pocket of my school bag and never ever ate it after like 1.5 years Chitiya ( Ant ) aa gai bag mai and I had to throw them I was very upset because like after 1 year of this "gift"(kaccha mango) her family shifted somewhere else it was her first and last gift to me.
Incident - 3 Once we were playing Hide and Seek ( Dabba is Spice idk what it's translation in english ) "Shree" , I and one small kid hide at same place. I saw her so very closely ( not in creepy manner ) her brown eyes was like coconut 😂. I was feeling that time should stop and I can see her indefinitely. If I try to describe more about her I have to make another post so leave it and back to the story. We exchange few words about our study nothing more and I tried to peek and see the status of the compound for the guy who was after us to find us and she told don't take a peek to me and as an obedient friend I instantly pulled back my head and it hit so hard in the corner of the wall that it instantly started to bleed. She started to get panic but I was very calm and said nothing happened to me ( I knew I was bleeding but still I wanted to spend more time with her 🫠). After that neighborhood of that building came and my parents and took me to hospital and I got stitches. While on my way and getting stitches all I was thinking was about her that she must be very scared because of this incident. After this incident Shree never came to compound to play with us.
Incident - 4 We totally lost each other's contact after she shifted another where then I saw in same complex where I was going to tution ( new tution not the older where we were together we changed in 9th standard and she before 9th ) and saw her in the stairs of the tution and I asked her "Do You remember me ?" Shree "No I don't" *Traumatic Background music player inside my heart - "Chann se jo toote sapna ...." * After like 5 seconds she laughed ( her smile was so so so much cute 🫠😭 ) and said " Obviously I remember you " and we exchanged our last smile with each other.
I was scared of proposing her because I had literally 0.1 female interaction with anyone in my entire life and she was "Jain" so I thought she might tell her parents 😭 and never dared to purpose her. I still Miss her a lot and currently don't have any idea or contacts where can I find her but if "Shree" is reading this just i wanted to talk to you ( not going to propose you 😭😂💀 ) just " How are you? "😭
That's it guys that you for reading this I know it's not any well structured story but just my feelings. Thank you all for reading this much lots of love.

*tw: dating at early age (for those of you who always get annoyed lmao),, i know we’re young, we make mistakes yadayadayada i know y’all are probably thinking “eh why so young date already ah” but to be fair we’re all curious kids so- can’t stop it from happening if it happens 😃
backstory: alright so in 2022, i (15F) was talking to a guy (15M, aka person A) for at least 2-3 months, seemed nice, and then we had a relationship that lasted around 3-4 months (we broke up on christmas day 😅)..
anyway, so yeah we kind of broke up on “good terms”? (broke up because i told him we’re better off as friends since we couldn’t meet each others’ expectations as a couple? he was emotionally unavailable and was very insecure throughout the relationship, and would often break boundaries that i had already set in place, and i had already let him cross too many — i know that’s on me because i didn’t enforce my boundaries as firm as i should have — but anyway he wasn’t a bad friend to me so i thought, why not go back to being friends?) or so i thought 💀
a few days after we broke up, i found out through HIS friends that he was talking shit about me? (e.g. calling me a slxt, told his friends that i cheated on him with FIVE?? not one, not two, but FIVE guys 😭 my thoughts: wow i didn’t know i had so much time in my life to cheat on you?) but at that point i was already done with him because i honestly couldn’t be bothered? and he wasn’t even my problem anymore! so obviously i proceeded on with my life and focused on my studies.
story: now, it’s 2024 he’s 17, i’m 17. introducing my best friend (17F, person B). person B has been with me since the beginning of 2020, we of course had our fights and drama, but we stayed despite them and learned to love one another with our flaws (platonically obviously).
so person B was around when i was dating person A, and they became friends. however, when i broke up with person A, he still kept contact with person B. (they talk in school sometimes)
as of now, person A and person B are close friends, and when i say close friends, i mean they call each other (one on one) sometimes, he updates her about almost everything in his life, he invites her for outings (just the two of them), and always asks for her thoughts on stuff.. and you may be thinking, “omg how would you know?” ☺️☺️ well person B tells me!
in my opinion, i don’t really care much if you were friends with my ex, because honestly speaking, he’s human too and he needs a community to talk to as well, BUT you do not have to share with my everything about my ex’s current life 😭 (doesn’t matter love life, healthy life, whatever life).. i’ve chosen to move on from him, leaving him as a part of my life in my high school days and i do not need or wish to involve him in my life again? i’m sorry but that’s what i have decided on for my life.
i don’t know, does it make me sound like i have not gotten over my ex? because i swear im over him, i just don’t need to hear about his life that often, and i get really annoyed at it too 😭 and whenever i react to something he does to me after the break up, (e.g. liking my story) she just tells me that im overreacting and that he’s just being friendly..
and also, the thing is person B knows what my other friends (they do not interact with person A at all) think about their friendship (person A + B) and she’ll keep on telling me “yo i feel guilty because people will think I’m such a bad friend for being close with your ex” and i’ve told her countless times “i really do not care if you’re friends with him, it’s your life”
so am i in the wrong to be reacting this way when person B tells me about person A’s life? am i really just overreacting when it’s just a small issue? and what do i do because i obviously don’t want to hear about person A.. but i do want my friendship with person B to continue..