We met online with a 1.5 hour commute between us - It was lovebomb at first sight. The first date (june 2023) was magic spending 10 hours at the beach in the water. I had a feeling after just a week of knowing him... facetimes or texts every 3-5 hours, seeing each other every other weekend. It was lovely to have such an incredible connection with someone so quickly and crave them every moment of everyday. I really felt like this was it with the amount of attention/affection he gave me, we would surf and skate together. he said his dream was always to skate with a girl. he told me how important it was to have the same interests as your partner and we also were both into taking film photos and have really special memories captured.
The distance started to take a toll on us 3 months (September) in. It was our first sort of argument he picked about it being almost noon and we hadn't left the house yet to do what we said we would do I was ready and waiting for him to be done playing guitar. But this was all due to him waking up late per usual and his ADHD is so severe he has no idea how quickly time goes by while He will do 4 things at once and then complain about not enough time in the day.
We ended up breaking up because he kept saying "I don't Know" when I Would ask him what he wants. We both crying I packed all my things and then I said why don't we enjoy the day and do what we said we would do and then I'll go home. We ended up enjoying the afternoon and he cried to me about how he can't lose me and how foolish he was to start an argument.
OK fast forward 2 weeks in September we had plans to go camping for the weekend, I booked a dog sitter. the night he was planning to come over he cancels on because there is a rat in his house (he has 3 roommates and the kitchen and pans and cabinets were never cleaned). so I end up taking my oldest dog on the camping trip and leaving the younger one with the sitters. this was my first sign from the universe that things happen for a reason... keep reading.
Then in end of October. My old boy is sick I drive to Mexico for vet care and he offered to come with me both times and then said he had too much work. Mind you, he wakes up at 9am, clocks in from his bed, does his morning routine and doesn't start to work until 11am usually. He will go run errands in the middle of the work day, play guitar and complains about not being a good worker. He even told me a friend called him out for it because he had mentioned it to them a year prior. So he had been knowingly a poor worker for more than the time I have known him. I brushed it off since my dog was #1. 2 weeks later I take the second trip to Mexico which also happened to be the day after I had been put under for a broken finger from a surf accident. he did not come for my surgery to support me and i expressed concern on lifting my 80 lb dog with my finger freshly put back together with a metal plate. yeah he couldn't come he has work. I spend 8 hours in mexico going to 5 hospitals for my sick dog to find answers. while he ended up going to the skatepark after work. I went to stay at his house that night which was nice he setup a bed for me to lay next to my dog on the floor.
the next morning was Friday. I said ok I have to put my baby down this weekend he is so sick. he said ok I am coming over right after work to be with you. that evening he calls me. his friends brother is in town and he is going to go surfing in the morning (saturday) with them and come over right after. I said ok whatever. I was screaming inside.
he comes its fine. sunday I put my dog down. I have the vet come, before hand I had frequencies playing for my baby on spotify and he has the audacity to change it to youtube video to show my cousin a skate clip. I called him out and he dismissed me.
a week after my dog is put down we have another (many not even mentioned because its painful) butting heads episode of him telling me knitting is not faster than crocheting and he has the experience since he was around it when his friends crocheted so i should listen to him. mind you I have been crocheting for 10 years i have never knitted so i mentioned i was going to start knitting and he told me how much slower it is and i just genuinely don't know so i said oh I didn't know and I don't know what to expect and because I didn't say I believe you it was this terrible icky feeling in my gut I didn't even wanna talk to him anymore. I was telling him how excited I Was about something and he would always shoot me down. so I called him later that evening after work to discuss it and of course he is driving to the skatepark and he says he needs to go skate and feels bad energy after me calling him to talk about the knitting crocheting mishap and he goes "your life has been so depressing lately" and I was just so taken back by that and hurt I don't even remember what my response was but I should have hungup and never talked to him again. I don't remember what happened but I let it go.
then a couple weeks later (November) its 2 weeks from Thanksgiving, he says his roommate is making a fried turkey and invites me i am so excited because I am 2,000 miles from my family so I begin to prepare what meals I want to make. a week before Thanksgiving he facetimes me and says he has exciting news that hes going to mexico for thanksgiving to surf with his friends. I was so sad, I asked him why he would make plans in place of what we planned and he just said it was a special opportunity and so I felt i had no choice and didn't fight it. i realize at this point of typing all of this I enabled alot of this behavior.
that evening I sent a video message to him about how hurt I was and how inconsiderate he is of my feelings and the fact that I am his girlfriend and his friends and what he wants to do comes before me always. the next morning he apologizes via text and then is quite throughout the day which is very odd because he texts every 3 hours pretty much. I ask how his day is going and he says it started off shitty because of the message he received from me that morning, it wasn't the "best way to start the day". so again I am dismissed for sharing my feelings. and I let it go again.
Thanksgiving comes and I take my other dog camping to the spot I took my recently passed dog. Fast forward December he was visting at my house and I have been working on training my younger dog he has leash reactivity. I say "here" and treat dog when we pass other dogs so he associates quiet still behavior with a reward in this moment. Ok so then he suggests I teach dog a different word that would associate a dog is coming and that my dog needs to behave............ I said that is exactly why I say "here". He continues and starts to raise his voice, "you aren't listening to me, teach him a different word like leave it" and I said ok but he still isn't good with "here" so why would i give him another word to learn? it turned into an explosive fight. we broke up the next night and he is bawling his eyes out and so am I. a week goes by we get back together because I can't help but think he has potential to be this amazing partner he talks about all these things he wants out of someone and I check every box but he just would pick this random little arguments and then be so indecisive of what he wants to break up or not.
I told him how I wanted to do yoga teacher training he says "theres already a lot of yoga teachers". I told him I was going to costa rica with my girlfriend for a surf trip and he says "why would you go with her and not me? how long have you known her? your level of surfing isn't even at the par to go to costa rica" but he had already gone on 2 surf trips with friends. he would dismiss me time and time again. he would criticize everything I do. even telling him something I saw happen he would qualify everything I said and question what I saw was true.
His birthday comes in January and prior to this I told him how excited I am and important it is to spend brithdays together and shower each other. I make him a cake the night before and set up my dog for daycare. I drive to work keep his cake in the fridge and then after pick up dog from daycare and drive 2 hours to see him and celebrate. He then tells me he booked a trip to skate in Spain with his friends over my birthday. I was so heartbroken I wanted to throw up I asked him if he takes me seriously and he said yes of course and we both cry I am so furious I should have left but I didn't. I then tell him how disgusting his house and its been 8 months and hes never bought me flowers. the next day he brings flowers to the coffee shop I went to work at. I went back to his house after and broke up with him yet again. I burned a picture of him he gave me. I really tried to move on. he hurt me so much and would dismiss me all the time.
I don't know why but we got back together again. he started watching dharma talks I would send him (mindfulness talks, Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield, Ram Dass kind of stuff) because he knew how selfish and self centered he was and he admited it every time we broke up but made no effort and this last break up he really did seem to make an effort.
we didn't see each other for 40 days and he came over in April for a weekend we went to the art museaum he was in the middle of a story and we were getting kicked out I asked him if he can take my picture quick and he flips, "I can never finish a story it takes forever all the time" he takes my picture and then I stop being silent. I tell him you are the storyteller all the time I never tell you stories because its always about your stories I remind him I haven't been to an art museum in ages and i want a photo in that moment and your story already happened so why cant it wait a moment??? he then woke up a little and saw my perspective. and then the next day we went to surf, the surfboards are in the car we go thrifting and he says oh we can't be in there for even 30 minutes someone will steal the boards he had all this concern on the surfboards and I was like why did we come here then...? lets just leave but no we go inside and of course 15 min in he says ok! 15 more min! and then later that night I said why did you make such a big fuss and then you don't even live the truth you say? he says yeah I wanted to come apologize to you but I didn't and I am like are you kidding?! come on please I need you to take accountability for your actions this is part of being an adult!! and then he admits to being a "whiny baby" and I was like yes you are a huge baby and youre a grown ass man! anyways it was a very nice talk while I was actually able to talk and he was listening very well.
Ten days ago was my birthday, I went camping with my dog. He told me he would facetime me on my birthday he only sent a text in the morning from spain mentioning "I wish I could be with you" whatever crock of s*/t. he never called me. I saw his friends posting on IG though so I know they had Wi-Fi. I sent a picture of my camp and said "we made it, thanks for calling like you said you would :(" that was my last text to him.
the next morning he gave every excuse, "sooooo sorry I didn't get to facetime you" we were so busy blah blah blah. its like if you wanted to make the effort you would? sends another text asking how camp was and what are we doing that day and then another one 8 hours later apologizing saying how truly bad he feels and hopes I am willing to speak with him but could understand how I wouldnt want to and says he blew it.
I never responded. He never even tried to call me to apologize just 4 total texts. I blocked him from seeing my IG stories. I am so heartbroken that I spend a year thinking I was with this wonderful person who wants the same things as me to learn that all he wants is to skate and surf and not do any hard work or put any effort into life he has not made any growth the entire almost year I have known him.
I have made so many advancements in my own life. I sold my motorcycle, rented out my garage, laid brick in my yard by myself never offered to help, I starting selling all of my vintage at pop ups I did 3 and he never came to any. I broke my finger and put my dog of 11 years down. I have a really wonderful job and I also stick to my word and do what I Tell people I am going to do.
I can't help but be missing him. Wanting to work it out. I act impulsively quite often but I know in my gut this man would not stand up for me if times got tough like he hasnt this whole year. can people really change? do I owe closure to him?

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Hey yall, I'm making a tier list with EVERY X song on it, not just released but also obscure leaks and unreleased. I'm taking it step by step slowly covering all of his songs into the massive tier list with the 18th ranking being Singles on Spotify!. if I miss something or u disagree with a ranking lmk and I might change the position next post.
EMOJI - A tier. It’s a beautiful song and X sounds beautiful asf. Ronny J is okay I guess.
I’m Not Human - B tier. It’s nice, uzi kinda drags on tho, and them omitting the verse is a war crime.
I’m Not Human OG - B+ tier. The extra X verse is just what the song needed, bumps the song up a tier. Uzi still drags on tho.
True Love - B+ tier. It’s a beautiful ass song even tho X has barely any vocals. Kanye does okay but X is obv the highlight.
Riot - S tier. Best X boom bap song IMO, deep message, music video goes hard asf and shocking.
Falling Down - A+ tier. It’s beautiful, I love peep and X and the X adlibs during peep hook is beautiful. His verse is making me levitate too.
Run It Back! - A tier. Goes hard asf, great for car blasting. Craig does good too.
Arms Around You - A tier. Great hook by X, best pump verse of his career lmao, swae lee fits in too and maluma does okay.
Banded Up - B+ tier. Ronny J brings this song down hard, but X’s short saves it although it was short. Ronny my man stick to beats pls
Gospel - A+ tier. Hard as FUCK, its amazing.
WitDemDicks - A tier. Hard asf, I love high pitched X.
Tier list
(song to the left of list = better song)
S tier = perfect songs
A - A+ tier = amazing songs
B - B+ tier = good songs
C tier = mid
D tier = bad
S tier: Guardian Angel, Riot, hope, WingRiddenAngel, KING, alone part 1, NEVER, Jocelyn Flores, let's pretend we're numb, I dont wanna do this anymore, i dont let go, train food, teeth (interlude), yung bratz, i spoke to the devil in miami he said everything would be fine, Look at me!, Ayala (outro), vice city, IWATCHEDHIMDROWN, infinity (888), king of the dead, rare, Netflix and chill, gnarlyguyanthem (og), gnarlyguyanthem (hell version), moonlight, woah (mind in awe), slipknot, freddy vs jason, pain = BESTFRIEND, IGOTPLENTYDICKTOSHARE, ILOVEITWHENTHEYRUN, valentine, SAD!, take a step back
A+ tier: white girl, rare part 2, save me (MOV2), RIP ROACH, very rare forever freestyle, bowser, ecstacy, everybody dies in their nightmares, snow, 777, falling down, HEARTEATER, fuck love, revenge, going down!, LIMBO, UP LIKE AN INSOMNIAC, curse, changes, NETHERRACK, make eem run!, restinpussy, carry on, SPACEGHOSTPUSSY, ghost busters, GOSPEL, ALONE PART 3, you're thinking too much stop it, Ice Hotel (intro), daemons, the remedy for a broken heart
A tier: Dead inside (interlude), looking for a star, broly, the fall, eat it up, A GHETTO CHRISTMAS CAROL, ghost, wanna grow old (I won't let go), Red Light!, hate will never win, indecision, BAD!, skin, save yourself!, love yourself (interlude), One Minute, I AM!, gassed up!, THE ONLY TIME I FEEL ALIVE, I LUv My CLiQuE LiKe KaNyE WeSt, ATTENTION!, WitDemDicks!, RUN IT BACK!, planet drool, UGLY, ex bitch, triumph, prime time, theresanelephantinthisroom, sauce!, $$$, LUNACY, ITS ALL FADING TO BLACK, NUMB, Ok Shorty!, EMOJI, 0C3AN, Arms Around You, sounds of a melting pot, difference (interlude), Butthole Girl!, news/flock
B+ tier: i dont even speak spanish lol, FUXK, MANIKIN, supra, STARING AT THE SKY, floor 555, schizophrenia, Orlando, true love, h2O, touch eem body, depression and Obsession, mega man, bitchcallmecaptainmorgan, I’m Not Human OG, GANG CYPHER FREESTYLE, DEAD, zones, May I!, banded up, failure is not an option interlude, BLOOD STAINS, a message to Tina belcher, Off the wall!, palm trees
B tier: Amy winehouse, save yourself!, boost!, what in XXXTarnation, bad vibes forever, SMASH!, fuckabitchface, maxipads for everyone, i changed her life, GXD DAMN, the interlude that never ends, whores on the boards, INUYASHA, TUMMY TUCK, northstar, school shooters, static shock, hi wendy!, save me, came2kill, find me (intro), before i close my eyes, I’m not human, VERYRAREBOYZ, LEAVE, voss, what are you so afraid of, royalty, numb the pain
C tier: kill my vibe, XXX (intro), before I realize, CHASE / glass shards, FUCK V2, hot gyal, M011Y
If u guys disagree with anything make sure to comment, this is a discussion post :) what should I review next

(Posted this on the main series sub, posting it here too now that I know this sub exists.)
Excuse me, but why are there so few fanfics where Izuku has a mutant type quirk ? I mean most fanfics I've seen where he has a quirk just give him an emitter quirk or sometimes a transformation quirk that is related to a crossover. Not to mentiom they try to get so complicated and make the power so flexible for no reason.
So here's my totally genius idea : Big Chimp Midoriya Izuku.
That's right, he inherits Hisashi's chimpanzee mutant type quirk and goes apeshit (pun intended but not really at first but then I realized it's a pun so yeah.) Now this could be executed in different ways, it could be him being born with the mutation and growing up violent enough to put Katsuki to shame, or he could be quirkless until a certain point in the story where he then goes through an extremely painful and graphic transformation.
I'm talking teeth falling out forcefully and being replaced by a new set, full on panic attack, gums deforming to push forward, excess bodily hair, hormones going wild, instincts changing his mindset and things of that nature.
Mood swings, acting out of character, arguments breaking out between him and his mom because she's scared of the change that she can only watch, while he's just happy to finally have a quirk, even if in the end it'll make him more hated and discriminated against than if he just remained quirkless his entire life.
I don't hate Midoriya Izuku, I just have too many fanfictions I've written in docs about him having actually interesting quirks that aren't that flashy which instead leaves more place to focus on him as a human rather than him as a hero student or a fighter.
Tw: mention and description of gore
(Now obviously there's some mild gore but to not make this feel like a crack fic I feel like it should be to an extent. Like, rip someone's jaw off, gouge out eyes, mauling, wailing on somebody, grappling, ripping genitals, cannibalism? Yeah sure ! Somehow turning people into clouds of red mist, ripping people apart out of nowhere ?(valid if it's actually important to the story but otherwise nah), ehhhh.)
Tw: possible mention of sexual violence, sexual assault, sexual harassment and rape. (Now I'm really torn on the rape part, it's basically going the whole nine yards in an angst fic, which I hate when writers add sexual violence to the story just to make it more edgy when it's just shock value. It has to have a meaning, an actual reason. Also it's a chimp not a dolphin, something tells me dolphins just tend to do that freaky stuff way more.)

1989-1990 (Jul. 31, 1991-Dec. 31, 1990):

1. Alleyway (Launch Title)
2. Baseball (Launch Title)
3. Super Mario Land (Launch Title)
4. Tennis (Launch Title)
5. Tetris (Launch Title)
6. Castlevania: The Adventure
7. Motocross Maniacs
8. Wizards & Warriors X: The Fortress of Fear
9. Boxxle
10. Golf
11. Hyper Lode Runner
12. Solar Striker
13. Kwirk
14. Malibu Beach Volleyball
15. Revenge of the 'Gator
16. The Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle
17. Boomer's Adventure in ASMIK World
18. Fist of the North Star: 10 Big Brawls for the King of the Universe
19. Flipull
20. Heiankyo Alien
21. Nemesis
22. NFL Football
23. QBillion
24. World Bowling
25. Qix
26. Batman
27. Shanghai
28. Bases Loaded
29. Daedalian Opus
30. Dexterity
31. Gargoyle's Quest
32. Lock 'n' Chase
33. Paperboy
34. Penguin Wars
35. The Amazing Spider-Man
36. Double Dragon
37. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan
38. Catrap
39. Cosmo Tank
40. Heavyweight Championship Boxing
41. Pipe Dream
42. Skate or Die: Bad 'N Rad
43. The Final Fantasy Legend
44. Wheel of Fortune
45. Balloon Kid
46. Godzilla
47. Mercenary Force
48. Mr. Chin's Gourmet Paradise
49. Snoopy's Magic Show
50. Bubble Ghost
51. Disney's DuckTales
52. Ishido: The Way of Stones
53. Ninja Boy
54. Serpent
55. Side Pocket
56. Amazing Penguin
57. Chase H.Q.
58. Dead Heat Scramble
59. Dr. Mario
60. Ghostbusters II
61. Hal Wrestling
62. In Your Face
63. Play Action Football
64. Power Racer
65. Quarth
66. RoboCop
67. Torpedo Range

1991 (Jan. 1, 1991-Dec. 31, 1991):

1. Battle Bull
2. Burai Fighter Deluxe
3. Dragon's Lair: The Legend
4. Gremlins 2: The New Batch
5. Power Mission
6. Rolan's Curse
7. The Chessmaster (GB Version)
8. F-1 Race
9. Kung Fu Master
10. NBA All-Star Challenge
11. Operation C
12. Radar Mission
13. The Game of Harmony
14. Bubble Bobble
15. BurgerTime Deluxe
16. Cyraid
17. Jeopardy!
18. Loopz
19. Maru's Mission
20. Nobunaga's Ambition
21. Super Scrabble
22. Extra Bases
23. Fish Dude
24. Pac-Man
25. Solomon's Club
26. Tasmania Story
27. WWF Superstars
28. Castelian
29. Go! Go! Tank
30. Hatris
31. Marble Madness
32. Mickey's Dangerous Chase
33. R-Type
34. The Hunt for Red October
35. The Rescue of Princess Blobette
36. Bo Jackson: Two Games in One
37. Caesars Palace
38. Nintendo World Cup
39. Skate or Die: Tour de Thrash
40. Sneaky Snakes
41. Spud's Adventure
42. Tail 'Gator
43. The Sword of Hope
44. Battle Unit Zeoth
45. Klax
46. Mysterium
47. The Punisher: The Ultimate Payback!
48. Castlevania II: Belmont's Revenge
49. Bill & Ted's Excellent Game Boy Adventure: A Bogus Journey!
50. Blades of Steel
51. Aerostar
52. Altered Space: A 3-D Alien Adventure
53. Choplifter II
54. Crystal Quest
55. Fortified Zone
56. Gauntlet II
57. InfoGenius Productivity Pak: Berlitz French Translator
58. InfoGenius Productivity Pak: Berlitz Spanish Translator
59. InfoGenius Productivity Pak: Frommer's Travel Guide
60. InfoGenius Productivity Pak: Personal Organizer and Phone Book
61. InfoGenius Productivity Pak: Spell Checker and Calculator
62. Navy SEALs
63. Spot: The Video Game
64. Tecmo Bowl
65. The Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle 2
66. Trax
67. Atomic Punk
68. Super R.C. Pro-Am
69. Bart Simpson's Escape from Camp Deadly
70. Battletoads
71. Brain Bender
72. Final Fantasy Adventure
73. Final Fantasy Legend II
74. Home Alone
75. Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters
76. Metroid II: Return of Samus
77. RoboCop 2
78. Turrican
79. Who Framed Roger Rabbit
80. Bill Elliott's NASCAR Fast Tracks
81. Dick Tracy
82. Double Dragon II
83. Double Dribble: 5 on 5
84. Elevator Action
85. Faceball 2000
86. Hudson Hawk
87. Mega Man: Dr. Wily's Revenge
88. Monopoly
89. Ninja Gaiden Shadow
90. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Back from the Sewers
91. Super Kick Off
92. Track Meet
93. Aerostar

1992 (Jan. 1, 1992-Dec. 31, 1992):

1. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
2. Beetlejuice
3. Gradius: The Interstellar Assault
4. Prince of Persia
5. Snow Brothers Jr.
6. Terminator 2: Judgment Day
7. The Addams Family
8. Adventure Island
9. Amazing Tater
10. Asteroids
11. Blaster Master Boy
12. Boggle Plus
13. Days of Thunder
14. Fastest Lap
15. Jordan vs. Bird: One on One
16. Mega Man II
17. Q*bert
18. Star Trek: 25th Anniversary
19. Tiny Toon Adventures: Babs' Big Break
20. Missile Command
21. Soccer Mania
22. The Adventures of Star Saver
23. The Flash
24. Ultra Golf
25. World Circuit Series
26. Fighting Simulator: 2-in-1 Flying Warriors
27. Hook
28. Nail 'n Scale
29. Paperboy 2
30. Square Deal: The Game of Two Dimensional Poker
31. Super Hunchback
32. Batman: Return of the Joker
33. Jack Nicklaus Golf
34. NBA All-Star Challenge 2
35. Turn and Burn: The F-14 Dogfight Simulator
36. Boxxle II
37. High Stakes Gambling
38. Pit-Fighter
39. The Blues Brothers
40. Jeep Jamboree: Off Road Adventure
41. Knight Quest
42. Prophecy: The Viking Child
43. Spanky's QuestNatsume
44. Ultima: Runes of Virtue
45. Wave Race
46. Yoshi
47. Double Dragon 3: The Arcade Game
48. Kirby's Dream Land
49. The Amazing Spider-Man 2
50. WWF Superstars 2
51. 4-in-1 Funpak
52. Dig Dug
53. Ferrari Grand Prix Challenge
54. George Foreman's KO Boxing
55. Ninja Taro
56. Roger Clemens' MVP Baseball
57. Spy vs. Spy
58. The Simpsons: Bart vs. the Juggernauts
59. Toxic Crusaders
60. Track & Field
61. WordZap
62. Barbie: Game Girl
63. Bionic Commando
64. Hit the Ice
65. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
66. Lazlos' Leap
67. Looney Tunes (GB Version)
68. Miner 2049er
69. Mouse Trap Hotel
70. Out of Gas
71. Rolan's Curse 2
72. Speedball 2
73. Swamp Thing
74. The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends
75. The Jetsons: Robot Panic
76. Tom and Jerry
77. Xenon 2
78. Bionic Battler
79. Kingdom Crusade
80. Mr. Do!
81. Star Wars
82. Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins
83. Super Off Road
84. Terminator 2: The Arcade Game
85. The Incredible Crash Dummies
86. The Ren & Stimpy Show: Space Cadet Adventures
87. Wordtris
88. Avenging Spirit
89. Battleship
90. Best of the Best: Championship Karate
91. Bonk's Adventure
92. Centipede
93. Darkman
94. Dr. Franken
95. Mega Man III
96. Megalit
97. Disney's TaleSpin
98. The Humans
99. Universal Soldier
100. Exodus: Journey to the Promised Land
101. Joshua & the Battle of Jericho
102. Spiritual Warfare

1993 (Jan. 1, 1993-Dec. 31, 1993):

1. Alien³
2. Krusty's Fun House
3. Race Drivin'
4. Spot: The Cool Adventure
5. Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
6. Top Gun: Guts and Glory
7. Adventure Island II: Aliens in Paradise
8. Disney's Darkwing Duck
9. The Flintstones: King Rock Treasure Island
10. Disney's The Little Mermaid
11. Kid Dracula
12. Milon's Secret Castle
13. Sumo Fighter
14. Tumblepop
15. Great Greed
16. Lethal Weapon
17. Ninja Boy 2
18. Pyramids of RaMatchbox
19. The New Chessmaster
20. Top Rank Tennis
21. Battletoads in Ragnarok's World
22. Cool World
23. F-15 Strike Eagle
24. Joe & Mac
25. Raging Fighter
26. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
27. Star Trek: The Next Generation
28. Titus the Fox
29. Bubble Bobble Part 2
30. Felix the Cat
31. Muhammad Ali: Heavyweight Boxing
32. Speedy Gonzales
33. Spider-Man 3: Invasion of the Spider-Slayers
34. The Addams Family: Pugsley's Scavenger Hunt
35. Goal!
36. Jurassic Park
37. Nigel Mansell's World Championship Racing
38. Pinball Dreams
39. Tesserae
40. The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening (GB Version)
41. Mortal Kombat
42. Final Fantasy Legend III
43. Bram Stoker's Dracula
44. WWF King of the Ring
45. Buster Bros.
46. Gear Works
47. Last Action Hero
48. Ms. Pac-Man
49. Popeye 2
50. Sports Illustrated: Championship Football & Baseball
51. The Real Ghostbusters
52. The Ren & Stimpy Show: Veediots!
53. Tom and Jerry: Frantic Antics!
54. We're Back!
55. Alien vs. Predator: The Last of His Clan
56. Batman: The Animated Series
57. Championship Pool
58. Disney's DuckTales 2
59. Kirby's Pinball Land
60. NFL Quarterback Club
61. Panel Action Bingo
62. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Radical Rescue
63. Tiny Toon Adventures 2: Montana's Movie Madness
64. Wayne's World
65. Battletoads & Double Dragon: The Ultimate Team
66. Chuck Rock
67. Cliffhanger
68. F1 Pole Position
69. Mega Man IV
70. Metal Masters
71. Spider-Man and the X-Men in Arcade's Revenge
72. Tetris 2
73. Rampart
74. Yoshi's Cookie
75. Zen: Intergalactic Ninja
76. Zool: Ninja of the Nth Dimension

1994 (Jan. 1, 1994-Dec. 31, 1994):

1. Black Bass: Lure Fishing
2. Riddick Bowe Boxing
3. Super Chase H.Q.
4. Winter Olympic Games: Lillehammer '94
5. Alfred Chicken
6. Captain America and the Avengers
7. Dennis the Menace
8. The Simpsons: Bart & the Beanstalk
9. Total Carnage
10. WCW World Championship Wrestling: The Main Event
11. Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3
12. Ultima: Runes of Virtue II
13. Sports Illustrated for Kids: The Ultimate Triple Dare
14. Super Battletank
15. Jeopardy! Sports Edition
16. Lamborghini American Challenge
17. Mickey's Ultimate Challenge
18. Donkey Kong
19. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
20. Stop That Roach!
21. Cool Ball
22. Elite Soccer
23. Disney's The Jungle Book
24. Lemmings
25. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
26. RoboCop Versus The Terminator
27. Mega Man V
28. Mortal Kombat II
29. Taz-Mania
30. WildSnake
31. Contra: The Alien Wars
32. Cool Spot
33. Space Invaders
34. Sports Illustrated: Golf Classic
35. Tarzan: Lord of the Jungle
36. Yogi Bear's Gold Rush
37. Bonk's Revenge
38. Madden '95
39. Monster Truck Wars
40. NBA Jam
41. Race Days
42. Samurai Shodown
43. seaQuest DSV
44. Solitaire FunPak
45. Star Trek Generations: Beyond the Nexus
46. The Pagemaster
47. The Simpsons: Itchy & Scratchy in Miniature Golf Madness
48. Wario Blast: Featuring Bomberman!
49. The Blues Brothers: Jukebox Adventure
50. Jurassic Park Part 2: The Chaos Continues
51. Pac-Attack
52. Stargate
53. The Flintstones: The Movie
54. Tiny Toon Adventures: Wacky Sports
55. WWF Raw
56. King James Bible
57. The Smurfs (GB Version)

1995-1996 (Jan. 1, 1995-Dec. 31, 1996):

1. BreakThru!
2. Casino FunPak
3. Daffy Duck
4. Micro Machines
5. Desert Strike
6. FIFA International Soccer
7. Pac-In-Time
8. Pinball Fantasies
9. True Lies
10. Mario's Picross
11. NFL Quarterback Club II
12. PGA European Tour
13. Disney's The Lion King
14. Kirby's Dream Land 2
15. Donkey Kong Land
16. Judge Dredd
17. Jungle Strike
18. NBA Jam: Tournament Edition
19. NHL Hockey '95
20. Animaniacs
21. Arcade Classic: Asteroids / Missile Command
22. Primal Rage
23. Arcade Classic 2: Centipede / Milipede
24. Batman Forever
25. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie
26. World Heroes 2 Jet
27. Arcade Classic 3: Galaga / Galaxian
28. Earthworm Jim
29. Foreman For Real
30. Street Fighter II
31. Disney's Aladdin
32. Arcade Classic 4: Defender / Joust
33. Madden '96
34. NFL Quarterback Club 96
35. Shaq-Fu
36. Zoop
37. Killer Instinct
38. Mortal Kombat 3
39. PGA Tour '96
40. Super Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
41. FIFA Soccer '96
42. Frank Thomas Big Hurt Baseball
43. The Getaway: High Speed II
44. Vegas Stakes
45. Cutthroat Island
46. Prehistorik Man
47. Tetris Blast
48. College Slam
49. NBA Live 96
50. Disney's Pocahontas
51. DragonHeart
52. Kirby's Block Ball
53. Disney's Toy Story
54. Olympic Summer Games: Atlanta 1996
55. NHL '96
56. Iron Man and X-O Manowar in Heavy Metal
57. Tetris Attack
58. Donkey Kong Land 2
59. Sword of Hope II
60. Arcade Classics: Super Breakout / Battlezone
61. Disney's Pinocchio
62. Road Rash
63. Battle Arena Toshinden
64. Casper
65. FIFA Soccer '97
66. Madden '97
67. Urban Strike
68. Jeopardy! Platinum Edition
69. Jeopardy! Teen Tournament
70. Street Racer
71. NIV Bible & the 20 Lost Levels of Joshua

1997-1999 (Jan. 1, 1997-Dec. 31, 1999):

1. Taz-Mania 2
2. Mole Mania
3. The King of Fighters '95
4. Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame
5. Kirby's Star Stacker
6. Game & Watch Gallery
7. Disney's Hercules
8. Tetris Plus
9. Donkey Kong Land III
10. Dr. Franken II
11. Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball
12. Tamagotchi
13. The Fidgetts
14. Turok: Battle of the Bionosaurs
15. FIFA: Road to World Cup '98
16. Superman: The Animated Seris
17. The Lost World: Jurassic Park
18. .James Bond 007
19. Bust-A-Move 2: Arcade Edition
20. Wario Land II
21. Castlevania Legends
22. Brain Drain
23. Bomberman GB
24. Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon
25. Ring Rage
26. All-Star Baseball 99
27. Jimmy Connors Tennis
28. Mickey Mouse: Magic Wands!
29. Game Boy Camera (If counts)
30. World Cup 98
31. WWF War Zone
32. Bubsy II
33. Frogger
34. Harvest Moon GB
35. Legend of the River King
36. Maui Mallard in Cold Shadow
37. Pokémon Blue Version
38. Pokémon Red Version
39. International Superstar Soccer
40. Disney's Mulan
41. Small Soldiers
42. Super Black Bass
43. Oddworld Adventures
44. The Rugrats Movie (GB Version)
45. Beavis and Butt-Head
46. Pokémon Yellow: Special Pikachu Edition

Plus, there are 516 Original Game Boy video games in North America.

Came across an article on a "hot new psychotherapy", Internal Family Systems (IFS). It appears to have directly inspired Celeste:
https://substack.com/home/post/p-144719880

IFS is about working with “parts”. You treat your mind as containing a Self - a sort of perfect angelic intellect without any flaws or mental illnesses - and various Parts - little sub-minds with their own agendas who can sometimes occlude or overwhelm the Self. During therapy, you talk to the Parts, learn their motives, and bargain with them.
For example, you might identify a Part of you that wants to sabotage your relationships. You will visualize and name it - maybe you call her Sabby, and she looks like a snake. You talk to Sabby, and learn that after your first break-up, when you decided you never wanted to feel that level of pain again, you unconsciously created her and ordered her to make sure you never got close enough to anyone else to get hurt. Then you and the therapist come up with some plan to satisfy Sabby - maybe you convince her that you’re older now, and better able to deal with pain, and you won’t blame her if you get close to someone and have to break up again. Then you see a vision of Sabby stepping aside, maybe turning off the Windmill Of Relationship Sabotage or something like that, and then you never sabotage your relationships again. It’s more complicated than that, but that’s the core.

It could also be parallel thinking, though the use of "Part of You" to describe Badeline and other similarities seem direct. Either way, it's not super important, the game and these therapists are dealing with the same issues. To explore:

Are some "Parts of You" actually evil demons?

This is the apparent tension in the IFS field, and the purpose of the above article, check it out for more. But basically, "classic IFS" says that everything in your mind is a part of you, fundamentally good, and to be bargained with. An attempt at exorcism will only scar you further.
But, many practitioners come to believe that nope, sometimes there are demons that need to be cast out. In the words of one such entity:

No, I'm not a part of her - I'm a much more powerful and beautiful being, and I'm going to crush her like a worm, the same way I'm going to crush you.

(Spoilers) Celeste comes down solidly in camp "Part of You". In fact, the central arc revolves around this question. Madeline starts off treating Badeline as a hostile force to be abandoned, before Granny convinces Madeline to apologize, allowing the two to work together and double-jump their way to the top of the mountain.
What do you all think? Is the "Part-of-You" reconciliation model always the best approach, or are there in fact some parts of us that are just bad and need to be abandoned?
(P.S. There is also tension between those who view IFS as a metaphor or helpful tool, and those who drink the kool-aid and take it literally. I'd note that is separate from the "part-of-you" vs "demon" debate, you can have metaphorical and literal interpretations of both, neither can claim to be the only scientific perspective.
Celeste side-steps this question nicely by being fictional. Note that some therapists have said "IFS may not work well with delusional, paranoid, or schizophrenic clients who may not be grounded in reality and therefore misuse the idea of 'parts'.")
​

(M24) Hello everyone! Whether you’re reading this from a safe distance away from your breakup, or if it has just happened, please understand that I’m not going to give you the old advice to “GO OUTSIDE.” I’m going to keep it real.
We all know what it’s like—whether you’re the dumpee or the dumper, and in my case, I was the dumpee. We all entered our relationships with rosy-eyed lenses, making us ignore what was wrong until the pot exploded and we were faced with the actual outcome.
Just so you understand a little more about my connection to this piece I’m about to write, I will let you know a bit of what happened to me.
I met someone who I thought at the time was amazing and gorgeous. I’m sure all of you have felt that way before. As time went on, her mother didn’t like my job and that I wasn’t yet in my career of choice, having just graduated in video game design a year before the incident. I was insulted by her family, told I was nothing, that I was a loser and had no ambition. I tried my hardest to be with her, even after her mother placed a deadline on me. I fought through it because I loved my ex. I fought to find work as hard as I could. Then my ex started to insult me, told me I was nothing, I wasn’t husband material, and that she was on another level than me. When I found a job, it wasn’t enough. In the end, my ex left because I couldn’t buy her a home and her mother hated the fact I had a student loan.
Now, I know what you’re thinking… “WTF?” It’s okay. All things are better because today I’m going to share what I’ve learned from this situation and how to reel yourself out of a pit where you feel like you’re not worthy, where you feel like you’ve lost it all.

• Number 1: Even though it’s incredibly hard to do in the beginning, if you feel a pain so heavy you can’t function, you’re human. You were in love, and that part of you in pain is the care and hope you wanted to provide to your partner. Honor yourself for feeling your connection—honor yourself for the level of love you were willing to give. Keep it simple. Not everyone can love so strongly, yet here you are.
• Number 2: Reassess what you did. Ask yourself what you were proud of in that relationship and what you weren’t. Really be thorough. I learned that I was very anxious and had anxiety attacks a lot. Maybe you made a mistake, and it’s hard to forget, but remember the things hardest to forget are the strongest lessons learned. Your goal here is not to feel better. I know it’s crazy, but how can I expect you to feel better, especially if the breakup just happened or if it’s still on your mind every day? Instead, view it as learning who you are, changing who you are, taking responsibility for your shortcomings, and appreciating yourself for the things you did very well. Experience comes from taking responsibility for the things you aren’t willing to admit, but also the things you are proud of.
• Number 3: LOVE DOESN’T GO AWAY. Despite what happened, I love her. I had a connection to her, to always do my best for her. Think of love as clay. The love you feel is sculpted to resemble your partner, but as time goes on with no maintenance to the clay, the sculpture fades. Its sharp edges become smooth bevels, its most standout features erode over time, ultimately becoming something else, a blob if you will. But that clay doesn’t leave; it just lacks direction at this point. So, what if the clay started to resemble you? What if you took time after you’ve gone through what you did wrong and actually walked away improving yourself? I know hearing “work on yourself” is common advice, but no one tells you why. Imagine yourself learning how to cope with your insecurities, giving yourself the love and care you gave to your partner. You know you wouldn’t have given up on them, so why give up on yourself? Imagine yourself conquering your trials, much happier. What can negativity do to you if you’re proud of your trials? Seriously, ask yourself that question: what can bad moments do to a version of you that can’t be defeated by tough moments? All in all, that same blob of clay that was sculpted and molded to envision your love for your partner is now molded into strength for yourself. Love went from them and became love for you.
• Number 4: Listen. Simple, just listen. Listen to those who are always supporting you. I’m sure they know of your circumstance, but in their efforts to help you, take a moment to be a third person. More often than not, the support they give reflects the type of person they think you are. If they tell you to keep pushing and keep going, they know you are someone who can take hits and keep fighting. If they tell you “I know it hurts,” it’s because they trust you to be stronger. Support comes from connection, and connection comes from knowing. If you’re the type of person, like me, who struggles to understand yourself, just listen to those who are supporting you, for in their words to help, you may just see your true reflection.
• Number 5: PROTOTYPE. This is an interesting phase. With everything you’ve learned, what types of things would you like to do differently? What about your personality have you learned? Experiment with your mind, prototype your new personality, introduce new morals, and if they don’t fit, introduce new morals, new ideas, new hobbies! When you have a stronger sense of self, you know what experiments in your mind will lead to better results.
• Number 6: Execute. After all you’ve learned, after all you’ve observed, take command of your life, take your life BACK! Execute your plan to get better, and once you start doing things out of love for yourself, if you just give yourself even just six months of doing things that let you feel better and more accomplished, I promise you will see change. So, if a basic six months can make you feel better, imagine a whole year. Execute your plan.
• Number 7: The most important of all: PATIENCE. This is all going to take time. The ultimate advice I can give you, the only cure to a broken heart, is the one you make for yourself by refusing to be stuck where you are and delving into your life. There is not a one-day cure or a cool mental trick. Take your time, slow down, and remember this is going to make you better.

Whether you are a man or woman, I hope anything I’ve said here can help you out. Because we’re all different, maybe you will tweak these steps a bit, add your own meanings to them, add your own order, or just completely disagree and have your own way of doing things. Those are all perfectly valid. Heartbreak is heartbreak. I’d be damned if I didn’t share what helped me. Truth be told, I miss her, her smile, the way she made me feel like my life was finally together. I remember the best moments; they help steer the ship to better, but the bad moments add the wind to my sails!
You will find someone, you will be okay, and I’m rooting for all of you!
If you make it to the end please upvote this post, because someone somewhere out there needed to hear this today and if that's you, this is your sign things are going to be better, take it from someone whose going through the same thing as you, you're stronger than you realize.

I'm into politics, philosophy, etc, and I've watched a decent amount of PT in the past year or so to see what resources she pulls up so that I can learn more about other topics. I'm currently watching her new video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVilpxowsUQ) on Judith Butler, and a lot of what Butler is saying is complete nonsense to me

• Gender is a performance, gender is only playing into stereotypes and trends and nothing more
• "Gender is a thing we do through repeated stylistic acts. Not a property but an embodied event"
• Compares all genders to dressing up as a femboy
• Saying that everyone (including trans people) have no true gender, gender is chosen throughout time and is always as fluid as the clothes you wear
• Claims that gender is performative (in its philosophical meaning) meaning the only thing needed to be that gender is to say you are/"do it" by putting on clothing/makeup etc
• Blamed the idea of sex-gender relation on the patriarchy and takes nonsense believed hundreds of years ago to support the idea that sex is in no way related to gender
• Then goes on to say actually sex is made up bc humans are 99.9% identical via DNA (no comment on just how impactful sex chromosomes/hormones/systems are on the entire body) so sex is actually fake and means nothing more than eye color, cites the fact that we used to think that race was more biologically significant than we now know it to be
• Further, sex and gender only exist in the "heterosexual matrix" and we should live in a completely gender-less and sex-less society, women only exist in relation to men and therefore lesbians aren't women because they exist outside the male gaze

I'm only 15 minutes in and I can no longer stand it
If Judith is right, why do I have to inject .25mL of testosterone every week? Why when I don't pack I can't think about that area without tears forming because there's something missing? Why does being called she/her feel out of touch and wrong? Why can't I preform as a woman without feeling literal pain? "Oh well you just don't like performing as a woman" okay but why there is a reason.
I think Butler's main issue is a big one amongst "progressive" trans spaces, she misrepresents gender roles and performance as actual neurological gender. And I feel disappointed that PT, as a trans woman, decided to put that very dangerous content out there (and then tried to save her ass by saying "oh well you can't actually choose your gender here's this incomprehensible quote from one of Butlers paper's saying that's not how it works" when literally everything in her video directly challenges that).
Wondering if anyone else has seen this video and read some of Butler's work and what your thoughts are on it

Im talking about the (i think) spankbang video thats supposedly more brutal tham the bme pain olympics. I searched for a while and only found a few people talking about it, nothing more

This title is a bit long, but it is meant to pre-empt some of the nitpicky caveats I know people would come up with otherwise. I know that most people on Reddit (or at least on this sub) are vaguely moral subjectivists or error theorists (even though I don't think most have a worked out view, but more a vibe that morality at least isn't objective). This is the reason why I have phrased my title as a conditional in the way I have: IF you think x is wrong THEN you should think y is wrong. This avoids the inevitable "well, there is nothing really good or bad, it is all just people's preferences".
Secondly, I say buying factory farmed meat in the way most people do, because it avoids strange hyper-specific edge-cases like "what if I bought a package of meat right before closing, and asked the store manager whether they would order more meat if I bought this package", or something like that. When I say "in the way most people do", I mean going into a store, taking a package of factory farmed meat and buying it, no questions asked, or weird caveats added.
Now to the actual argument. First off, the conditions of factory farmed animals are very bad - far worse than being lives worth living. Consider chickens. Broiler chickens live in very crowded spaces (approx. 1 sqft. per chicken) and grow so fast that their limbs cannot keep up and they end up being in constant pain. They get chemical burns on their joints because they are living in their own shit which is high in ammonia. And they have their beaks removed so they don't peck each other because they're so stressed. Now ask yourself, if you had the choice at your deathbed to die and disappear, or to live a life as a factory farmed chicken and then die, which would you choose? I doubt many of you would choose living the life of the chicken. If so, then it isn't worth living in your judgement.
Furthermore, when you buy a package of meat you are causing animals to go through this suffering. You might object something like this: "When I buy a package of meat, it is highly unlikely that I will cause the shop to order more meat, causing factory farms to produce more meat. Thus, most of the time I am not causing more animals to suffer."
This argument doesn't work. Let's look at a simplified example: A shop orders chickens in stocks of 100. When they reach a certain limit in demand, they increase or decrease the amount of stocks they order, depending on whether demand has risen or fallen. You don't know how close they are to ordering a new stock, since you are buying meat like a regular person, and not asking how close they are. But you know that there is a 1/100 chance that your purchase will cause them to order a new stock. Furthermore, ordering a new stock involves ordering 100 more chickens. So on standard decision theory, the expected outcome of your buying a chicken is that one more chicken is ordered (100*1/100).
This is of course an idealized example, but it is how the meat industry works on average: A decrease in demand of x amount of meat packages will reduce the amount of meat packages produced by x on average, even if the industry isn't perfectly sensitive to demand.
So when you buy meat, the expected outcome of your action is that animals are harmed. The amount will be the total money value of the animal in question divided by the money value of the product you bought all multiplied by the amount of suffering of the animal. Likewise, when you kick a stray cat, you are causing it suffering.
Why are you causing these animals suffering?
In the case of the cat, it is for trivial pleasure. Likewise, in the case of meat, it is for pleasure. I think almost everyone who reads this would be able to stop eating meat at trivial cost to themselves. It might take a bit of getting used to, and you might have to order the slightly less tasty option, when going to a restaurant, but generally it would be of quite trivial cost.
The person going around kicking stray cats for fun could stop doing so at little cost to themselves too. They might have a little less fun in their life, but that is certainly outweighed by not kicking cats. We can even imagine that it is a big part of their life. They feel like it is a hobby, and they would have to spend a lot of effort to find a new thing to spend their time doing, and it would never be as fulfilling. Imagine you meet someone who is in the middle of beating a cat until it can barely walk, and you tell them to stop doing it. They then reply the above, that it would make them very sad, and be really inconvenient to them. Would you then answer "oh, of course then, carry on!"? Of course not.
It is not like it being for taste pleasure or nutritional convenience makes any difference either. Suppose it is discovered that the saliva of distressed cats is very tasty, and also high in c vitamin. You now come across the same person again, brutally beating a cat, and you stop them. They now say "oh, haven't you heard, distressed-cat saliva is very tasty and nutritional. And I can't be bothered to incorporate oranges into my diet, so I thought I might as well have some fun and beat this cat for its saliva". Would you now be okay with it?
But in the case where someone is beating a cat, they are hurting something which already exists. But the animals on factory farms wouldn't exist, if they weren't raised for meat. Okay, so imagine if instead of going out and beating cats on the street, the guy in question instead bred cats and kept them in small cages so he could beat them for fun, and perhaps even drink some of their tasty saliva. Is it okay now?
Perhaps the important thing is that you are not doing the killing yourself, but you are instead paying someone else to do it. So imagine instead that the person in question pays someone else to breed and beat cats, and to send videos of it to them so they can enjoy it, and perhaps even send some vials of distressed-cat saliva. Is it okay to pay a person to do that? No.
I doubt anyone actually thinks this, but someone might say "I don't care about factory farmed animal, but I do care about cats". This is why the example is kicking cats for fun. If you do it for fun, that means that you don't care about the cat - that is just stipulated into the example (or well not strictly, but it would be very strange to go around kicking cats for fun if you actually cared about them). You might think that that would mean that it is ok, since you by stipulation don't care, but then you reject the antecedent of my conditional, and so the argument isn't refuted. You might also think that someone cares about cats, and that makes it bad. But that is why I use stray cats - they don't have relationships with anyone. Perhaps someone cares about stray cats in general, without knowing about any particular stray cat. But people (including me) also care about animals in factory farms in general, without knowing about any particular animal.
Another objection one might raise is that crop production also kills animals - approx. 7.3 billion annually (which is less than a tenth of the amount killed in meat production, by the way). So vegans are equally killing animals for food! I will give you ten seconds to think about why this is a bad argument. (Hint: What do the animals killed for food eat?)
I think the actual reason why people are okay with buying factory farmed meat, but not kicking cats for fun is twofold: First off, we are much more used to buying meat than to beating cats. Secondly, it feels much less bad to buy meat than to beat a cat. But clearly neither of these are morally relevant differences. Something wrong doesn't become permissible when you are used to it. Likewise, it doesn't become permissible because it feels less bad.
I am sure there are many possible responses that I haven't adressed directly, but I want to encourage everyone to be a bit honest with themselves before they respond: Do I actually think that this is a plausible position, or am I only drawn to this because the alternative would be inconvenient for me? Would I also believe this principle if I applied it to other cases, or do I only find it plausible in the single example of factory farming?

-Disclaimer: This is an examination of Dottore being a complex morally grey villain that wasn't just born 100% evil, it's NOT a case that he's a good boy.-
I'll assume Zandik is Dottore since it's very likely (plus, someone tried to name their Wanderer that but it didn't work.)
Let's start with the oldest piece of lore:
-- Doctor's Pinion reveals a tragic past with unknown reasons for persecution --
When Pierro first tried to recruit Zandik / Dottore, he responded:

"Will you treat me like the Akademiya did? Will you call me a monster, a madman?" "Or will you treat me as my hometown did, and chase me away with pitchforks and clubs...?"

Some people assume the persecution was because of his experiments but it's important to note that the fact is we don't know what happened so there's a chance it wasn't something evil. That he could be chased away by "pitchforks and clubs" indicates he was weak at that point and couldn't do anything to stop it.
He also expresses a desire to merge humans with machines.

"With or without a Vision, and irrespective of their physique or combat skills,"Enhanced humans" would surely display strength far beyond the average."

This shows a desire to give power to the weak (likely including himself), even if they lack visions. Which isn't inherently a bad thing, it's just against the Akademiya's teachings. This applies even to Scaramouche, whose power had been locked by Raiden and he unlocked it.
-- Mysterious moral convictions --
Although a lot of the fandom accuses him of having no ethics or morals at all, there are several hints that this isn't the case.
He got mad at Scaramouche when told: "you only care about your crazy experiments" and told Nahida he has "his own convictions, we just don't share them" which were both conveniently not further explained. There is also the Jeht quest incident but i'll discuss it later on.
-- Eleazar hospital notes --
To briefly summarize the notes, he cured a patient using another dead patient's remains. His treatment was harsh but successful. These notes read like a Dr. House script, Dottore not giving a crap about the patient's religious beliefs included.
Abbas had a terrible ending because he had developed insanity and ran away. Zandik/ Dottore left a note warning not to let him go but it seems the staff didn't listen.
These notes align with how plague doctors were misunderstood and feared in real life. This motif was incorporated into his video game iteration, replacing the joker / clown persona.
Some people interpreted these notes as "Dottore murders and mutilates people that are alive for experiments" but there's no indication of that.
-- Aranara experiment notes --
These are the worst by far. It's unclear if the "subjects" were people with Eleazar or healthy people exposed to the withering for tests. It has to be pointed out that it seems the actions were done by his subordinates since it's likely Dottore reprimanding them at the end:

"This is a waste of resources. It is advisable to watch over the subjects' mental state in the next experiment and avoid exposing them to extreme environments... Lab Lead on duty: ████"

Yes, this sounds bad but it's proof he isn't a sadist that enjoys watching pain.
It also means he is higher in a moral standpoint than characters like Jack Horner. These type of characters don't care or enjoy deaths with the pretext of "we can always get more lackeys."
-- During the Jeht quest --
Froderock (a subordinate of Dottore) wants to capture an eremite. It is stated he is acting on his own and that Dottore gave an order not to kidnap eremites.
A note by another Fatui member states that Froderock is going to get killed for going against the order. We can theorize that the Harbinger himself would kill him. There's also a line about "following military regulations" which means his subordinates operate under a code and can't just kidnap people for experiments for the lols.

Fatui Negotiator: Professor Froderock was looking for live specimens in the desert — he always defied The Doctor's orders... That's just pure jealousy, if you ask me
...I urge you to consider, Captain Zoya, that if we are able to complete this research work in the desert, perhaps our entire expeditionary force may receive the favor of our great Harbinger... (This line has been crossed out using a red pen, and a line in red has been added: "How about you consider military regulations? Or perhaps you would like to consider how long you have left to live?")

A similar thing happened with Arlecchino in the Fortune Slip quest in Inazuma. Subordinates of her were acting on their own by following the previous Knave's teachings to make some orphans for the House.
-- *Time of Insight Artifact * --
It mentions a "mad scientist expelled by the akademia" and the text under it seems to be Dottore speaking.
The last part says:

"Those sellswords (Eremites) once did much for me. I trust they will not disappoint this time, either."

Combining Jeht quest with this makes it seem that eremites helped Dottore in some way and he is fond enough of them to slaughter a subordinate that brings them harm.
The following text seems to be Dottore's reason to want to capture Aranaras:

"The dream had to be captured — along with the inhabitants of the forest who could control dreams, To remind that friend once again of one's own form and the memories that were shared.
If the organ that governs memory has taken too much damage and cannot be healed, Then bring another old friend and dwell in dreams of the past together, Play in a small tree house, and explore the limitless depth of the jungle. Yes, that would be nice as well. For in dreams, everyone has a chance to start over."

I couldn't find more info about this "friend". It seems to be someone who suffered the effects of erosion or death, or an aranara that lost their memory.
-- Al Haitham's SQ --
Alhaitham: (To Siraj / the villain, after praising his intelligence)

"You would never let a test subject escape. Mistakes like that are beneath you, and you also won't leave any mistake without a resolution."

This is relevant because we know Dottore is canonically smarter than Siraj yet he didn't hunt down Collei (Barnabas is the one that traumatized and wanted to kill her), Abbas or Scara. It's a known thing there's a Fatui code that traitors and deserters are executed to avoid spilling secrets. Dottore leaves even Scara alone, you may argue that he was lazy but suspiciously Childe, who during Labyrinth Warriors was chasing Scara, soon appeared in Inazuma in a photo taking event, leaving for Snezhnaya, after Scara lost his gnosis.
It was never explained why Childe was chasing him to take away the Gnosis yet suddenly Scara appeared with Dottore without Childe. This is suspicious because Childe loves to fight, to the point he wanted to fight Arle while recovering on her SQ. He didn't even show up to finish off Scaramouche at the end.
To play Devil's advocate, it could also be Scaramouche is a part of some unknown plan too and nothing to do with mercy.
-- Dottore's speech to Niwa --
Taking into account Nahida's story that says: "the monster found solace in the kitten", the black bird referring to himself as "a monstrosity yet they are too foolish to see it" and Dottore's lines to Pierro:

"Will you call me a monster, a madman?"

Dottore sees himself as an inhuman monster. It puts into question if the following line wasn't just about Scaramouche and is actually a metaphor of Dottore speaking about his past:

"Escher: Even without you, that pure, innocent puppet would only end up being used by someone else instead. What other reason would a human have for befriending one who is not of our kind?"

Although Dottore refers to himself as "human", the two lines I quoted previously contradict this. Mentally he sees himself as not human (to the point of finding solace in a living puppet), even though his words say otherwise. There is also a chance this Dottore was no longer human at all, the Nahida story shows the monster bird had tiny floating birds around, even though he hadn't studied Scaramouche to create the segments.
There is also a stark contrast between Dottore joining the Fatui expresing concern over been rejected again yet he is embracing his monster persona in the Niwa scene.

"Escher: Think of me as a monster or a demon, if you wish... "

It could be a sign of a person with trauma who steered into an evil path. Kept getting called a monster until he accepted it.
There could be many reasons for the change, besides being used, -incoming pure speculation- he could have experimented on himself to have less emotions or taking this quote into account: "everyone has a chance to start over in dreams" he believes he can commit atrocities and it won't matter because he plans to do a reset somehow.

" The Doctor: Jester, I have completed the task you gave me. Creating a gap and infiltrating Inazuma's inner workings... Heh, what fun it was. The Doctor: I'd like to introduce a puppet to you. If he proves useful, let's make him our newest comrade. And if not... let's turn him to dust."

The bold part is more clues of either future Scara related scheming or Dottore's words are an act, mercy was shown when he became useless. It also seems that Pierro stirred him into a darker path.
I wouldn't say it's confirmation that Pierro is pure evil because we barely know anything about him, there's a chance it was for some greater good since that's a trend with the Harbingers.
-- Possible Sohreh murder --
At first glance, it seems way too obvious that Zandik did it, it's like watching a murder mystery movie and the first suspect is a red herring.
Since people frequently incorrectly state: "Dottore murdered a girl while they were having a picnic" like a fact, I'm going to make a deep dive into these notes:
First there is no clear motive for him killing Sohreh. (Niwa had a purpose.)

attack of Rishboland Tigers. In need of first aid..."

The bold part implies she was still alive while Zandik was dealing with the Ruin Guard. The broken bone didn't happen during the picnic while he was alone with her. She was declared dead and buried after the attack, she could have been killed during it while everyone was distracted.
-Does the Akademiya think that Zandik is responsible?-
There is a message board that says he was investigated over her murder.
The lack of motive combined with Zandik only receiving negative consequences from saving the team makes me think he was framed and acted on impulse / emotion when saving them or he turned it on to spook the tigers and it accidentally killed her.
Why? He could have just ran away and let everyone die to not reveal he was hiding ruin guard knowledge. Which he expressed on the notes that he didn't want the rest to know:

"I am going to take them (Ruin guards) apart, and record the size and shape one by one...
...But first of all, this secret must not be revealed to the other team members..."
...Thank goodness, Zandik reacted quickly. Otherwise, the whole team would be in serious trouble..."

-Some people argue that "running away and letting everyone die would have been too suspicious so he saved them."
It's more likely he was just a weak regular human at that point in his life so it wouldn't have been too suspicious to run away / he actually risked his life to shut it down.-
The 2 burned notes both state: "Someone seems to have burnt the contents in a hurry" it could have been the person trying to frame him. One of them is a note about the Ruin Guards and has Zandik's signature, they may have wanted to steal credit of his research.
-Regarding who framed Dottore, u/Sandflow_23 commented an excellent theory
lt seems Zandik didn't care much about Sohreh's death since he proceeded to ask the team to take back the Ruinguard while she was bleeding but the Eleazar hospital notes come after this incident. Was this his first instance of curing people?
Did being unable to save someone influence him in some way? It may just be coincidental but it's worth taking note. I'm trying to look at all possibilities.
People usually see Sohreh's note as "she learned Dottore's secret so he murdered her" But something I haven't seen discussed is how there is also a chance he trusted her and decided to open up to people more. Previously he said studying Ruinguards could get him kicked out but after the following note by Sohreh, he decided to try to convince his team to take back the ruin guard:

"...Zandik was attracted by the ancient machines left behind by some civilization here...
We had a great time and decided to go on a picnic tonight..."

Finally, to play Devil's Advocate: it seems he also had another secret mission that was never explained.

"...It's a shame that documents regarding its (the giant golem's) energy supply systems have been lost, and I have far too important a mission to accomplish to afford to start from scratch. If not..."

He could have killed her because she learned that secret but it's still weird that he'd go and choke her with people focused on him speaking about Ruinguard studies.
-- Arle SQ --
Lyney said "he proposed the direction of the research " for the bottled flames. That he wants to give people "a chance to start over" was also hinted in Time of Insight artifact. I won't be surprised if it turns out most of the injured kids he took from Crucabena are actually fine. The Eremites, which he didn't want his subordinates to kidnap, were also healthy, so this is another instance of him seeking to work with weak people to give them power. I'm NOT denying there's a chance he wants to use it for some other plan like burning the tree like other Redditors have proposed
Finally, there remains the question of which Dottore would be playable. I predict the original or Omega. (Knocking off the angelic new segment theory)
We don't know if the original is alive, since Raiden destroyed her physical body (and the segments were based on Scaramouche) he could be dead BUT giving a kill switch to Omega may have a deeper meaning. Like those fragments of his mind from dead segments will re-materialize in an empty segment or object his soul is bound to or go back to Omega and change his personality, the former sounds like FullMetal Alchemist but a Remuria quest confirms this is a thing in Genshin.
Finally done, sorry if this is ridiculously long but I wanted to provide quotes to sustain the arguments, especially since some people hate him so much based on mostly misinformation.

I was just watching the video City put out about the players and manager reacting to the greatest moments during Guardiola's tenure. I tried to find the threads about those moments on soccer to see the reactions at the time, and I can't find some of them.
I'm not sure if thats because reddit search sucks, or whether those threads were taken down by salty fans/mods. Are you guys able to find the threads about these moments? If not, does anyone have these threads saved?

• Stones goal line clearance vs Liverpool
• Gundogan's 2nd goal to complete the comeback vs Villa - For this one I actually can't find any threads about that game except something to do with the charges, which makes me lean more towards salty mods

I hope you are doing better today than yesterday. (TLDR at the end; or enjoy my story :) )

Why:

About 11 months ago, I launched my app for the first time on lonely because I had previously experienced loneliness myself during grad school. I wanted to reach out to people going through similar experiences by providing them with what would’ve helped me in the past.
I felt this was an important mission for me and a much more rewarding one than my day job that I quit my job to work on the app full-time.
It was necessary because I did not come from a programming background. I knew how to program in the sense of running scientific simulations on MATLAB, but creating the front-end and back-end for a consumer app was totally new to me, so I had to learn from scratch.
I enjoyed everyday going to a cafe to learn from programming crash courses on YouTube, developing the app little by little, and eventually launching the app! The initial response was actually pretty great: 220 upvotes for the app launch post, which I proudly pinned in my bio :)

How:

I made the app to be based on voice, and nothing else: no profiles, no profile photos, and even no texts. The reason for that was I felt a lot of people felt lonely and had trouble finding meaningful online connections because of the modern communication medium which actually promotes superficial and viral contents over authentic and long-form contents. It is easy to see from examples: TikTok’s 30 second videos, Instagram’s eye-popping photos by beautiful people from the globe, and Twitter(X)’s 140-char spicy takes. Sure, these platforms offer us information about DIYs, trends, and news that can enrich our lives and entertain us, but they don’t by all means help us feel more connected to individuals. Even on Reddit, the contents tend to be more wholesome and there are hilarious comments that build on top of each other, but the actual sense of connection you feel with the users is tenuous.
Focusing on voice worked! It was incredible listening to the heartfelt messages from strangers from all over the world who opened up about their loneliness and didn’t mind being vulnerable to other strangers. I have personally spoke with everyone that came by. The 14k minutes of voice messages do not include my own voice messages; they are all messages that people left for their own posts, to each other, or as replies to me.

Highlights:

There were some incredible moments, which would be too long to share in this post (leave a comment if you want to hear more!), but some of the highlights were (note: these are all from public conversations):

• Lady in New Brunswick, Canada was extremely depressed after a difficult divorce and felt being on the life’s edge. She was getting scammed left and right on dating apps and was losing hope. She told me that I was the only one that she felt she could trust and talk to, and she probably wouldn’t be here if I ever stopped talking to her. Thankfully, she eventually managed to find a boyfriend and she thanked me for having always been there for her. She still came back to the app to act as a supporter for other lonely souls for a while!
• Gentleman in New York, USA felt isolated in a farm and felt he had no real connections with anyone. He shared with me and other users about his life growing various vegetables, but stopped coming on the app for a couple of months. When he came back, he was pleasantly surprised by the app’s development, felt I really believed in my mission to help lonely souls, and became an evangelist for my app :) He posted on several forums on Reddit and engaged in conversations with many users on the app.

What was also incredible was that there were not only people experiencing loneliness here, but also people who did not feel lonely but were on the app to support others going through loneliness. They would share stories and studies related to loneliness in their posts, and also try to talk to some lonely folks on the app who seemed very hardened by their experience of loneliness which made them cynical and pessimistic. The concept of compassionate listening by Thich Nhat Hanh and Polyvagal theory that explains 3 levels of our nervous system are a few things they mentioned that come to my mind. Unfortunately, these efforts by supporters were often, so to speak, ineffective in solving people’s loneliness.

What I learned:

And that was part of what made it so hard to have a sustainable ecosystem on my app: many people who have been lonely for a long period of time had their personalities and social skills hardened to the point that they either:

• did not know how to engage with others by understanding social cues and sharing stories about themselves that allow themselves to be vulnerable to others, which allows for deeper social connections
• felt they are never good enough, they are stuck in their situation, and there is nothing that can help them get better. Any help or suggestions offered by others would only work on others and did not apply to them.

My hope for the app was to help people who experience loneliness find and support each other. By providing the platform for them to voice out their stories, have them be heard by others, and find others who resonate and reply, I thought they would finally find friends whom they can relate to, share their lives with, and would no longer have to feel lonely again.
However, the reality was that many were hardened by loneliness and it was hard for such connections to materialize. Plus, one of the main ways for an app like this to grow is by word of mouth. Unfortunately, most people experiencing loneliness did not have anyone to share the app with, which stunted the app’s growth and mostly depended on me manually bringing users onto the platform.
With fewer chances of having good interactions, even the people who really resonated with the app and shared stories slowly stopped coming back. Some just suddenly ghosted, which made the experience on the app painful for other engaged people on the app.

My hope for the future:

I still believe that there are more people out there experiencing loneliness who have the deep desire to share their stories and find the long-term friends across the globe who understand each other and can share slices of their lives with.
So, if you are someone that can benefit from sharing stories and solve your loneliness this way, feel free to check out my app at https://bubblic.app
Also, if you know of any way I can improve the app to better help people experiencing loneliness, please leave a comment.
Lastly, word of mouth would really help. If you like the app, or if you know someone who would benefit from the app, please share it with others!

TLDR:

I created an app focused on voice communication to help lonely people connect, inspired by my own experiences. Despite an encouraging start and meaningful interactions, many users struggled to form lasting connections due to the deep impact of their loneliness. Growth has been slow, mainly reliant on my efforts. If you know someone who might benefit, please share my app: https://bubblic.app. Feedback is also welcome! Tech stack used:
Backend

• AWS Websocket, DynamoDB, Cognito, S3, Lambda

AI

• WhisperX model running on laptop locally

Frontend

• Flutter

Gut Instincts & Intuition vs Anxiety/ROCD
A lot of us spend time wondering whether its our OCD or gut talking to us. Sometimes we can feel our anxiety in our gut- literally. But this doesn’t mean it’s our “gut instinct”
I wanted to offer a perspective that I’ve gained during my healing journey.
First- intuition requires mental clarity. The opposite of clarity is anxiety or OCD. You have no access to your intuition in the midst of ocd/anxiety.
Anyway, I saw this video of Maddison Beer. She was talking about how she used her intuition to realize her ex was not the one. I found it hilarious when she said that (no hate.) it was funny because before saying it was her intuition that “guided” her- she was going through list of red flags she had noticed. He was awful to her, would only see her at night, etc. I’m so sorry but Maddison did not have a premonition. She had common sense. It was CLEAR as DAY. That this man was no good.
My point here is the word intuition is overused now. People don’t even know what they’re talking about when they use it. Be mindful of when you think of what the word refers to, for yourself and when others use it.
Here is a better example of gut feeling.
If there was a tiger walking by you, your gut instinct would tell you “$hit thats a tiger, run!”
Your ROCD/anxiety is more like - “ I think I saw a tiger out of the corner of my eye? I’m not sure. Maybe that was a tiger. Maybe I should run I’m not sure if there was actually a tiger.”
It’s an instinct or an intuition you will KNOW that there is a tiger. You’re not spending time worrying if the tiger is a nice tiger, or if the tiger was really there, or if the tiger saw you…
I really really hope this makes sense.
Also I make posts like this all the time and invite you too as well, I usually leave them on MindfulRelationships. Feel free to join.

Hey all,
No worries if this gets removed, but yesterday I saw an account post up a link to Goblingram being sold on the MTG TikTok shop. Here's a link again (without referral code) - https://www.tiktok.com/view/product/1729473288160055619
I know there was some worry that the shop selling it wasn't an official Wizards shop because they haven't added in a logo or anything, but I'm an avid sealedmtgdeals visitor and wanted to clarify for all of you that they are actually selling this drop directly through the TikTok shop.
You can check my post history - I'm a long time gaming creator and Wizards reached out and sent me the drop early so that I could promote it on my TikTok via the affiliate program. Here's a link to that video- https://www.tiktok.com/@travisgafford/video/7371250482695785759?lang=en
I'm writing this not to promote the drop or to encourage any of you to buy it. Don't buy it, buy it through the official website vs TikTok, do whatever you'd like!
I just wanted to clarify it here because I like this community a lot and figured a lot of you would find it interesting that Wizards, at least in this case, is trying out TikTok shop for a drop. I'm not aware of them selling Secret Lair outside of their own store, with the exception of MagicCons and the Hasbro site on rare occassions. I'm curious if Memorial Day TT coupons will end up working on it soon.
Also, apologies in advance, as I know people have mixed feelings about TikTok shop here (as seen with the Forge and Fire a few months ago).

I have a lot of crazy dreams, sometimes they’re goofy and everything looks like something out of Alice in wonderland. Sometimes they’re graphic and my dad gets his knees quite literally busted out in front of me. Sometimes they’re so real that the only noticeable difference is weird color or hazy vision. But this one I had on May 17th, 2024 was not like the others and it’s been eating at my daily living for a couple days now. I have a trip planned in August (10th-14th) of this year for my birthday, I already have the plane tickets bought and lodging arrangements in order. In this dream I was flying home from this trip, I was happy and talking to my significant other about how great my birthday was. We spoke in full English, which was odd considering a lot of dreams don’t tend to do this, at least for me. I was reading the signs at the airport, getting to my gate to aboard my flight and so on. We get on the united airplane, and it begins to descend. I feel the push back as it starts to go up and the gravity pulls me against my seat. As it’s going up, it felt like it actually stood still in the air for a moment before it began to fall straight down. There was no warning, no oxygen masks, no one had any idea this was happening. When it crashed I lived through it, I awoke to smoke and fire and alarms going off around me. There was riots, people were screaming and fighting everywhere. There was a familiar sound, the American emergency alert system. It kept repeating itself saying,”the United States has been attacked, we are being invaded. This is not a test.” And my heart sank, I think I passed out again, but this was the only gap in the whole dream. I woke up again in a hotel room. It was extremely clean and I was alone. I rushed to my phone to search for my mom and dad’s contacts, I had to make sure they were okay or at least warn them what had just happened. I was scrolling and scrolling but it felt like I couldn’t find them in my phone, but all of a sudden a huge orange ball passed across my window changing the night sky to look day. I got up and ran to the window to see what it was and then it hit me. The radiation blast, I didn’t even have time to react. I felt the radiation vibrate inside of my skin, it kept rumbling around until what felt like my skin falling off. There was no pain but I started to think (which I do not do in my dreams usually) about the fact I was literally dying. I told myself, “ this is it. I’m finally dying, it’s over. I’m going to see the afterlife.” I was anxious on that thought but then immediately hit with sadness, I am losing my family, I’m dying and I will never see them again. In my next life I won’t remember them. I began to repeat all of their names over and over in hope I would remember them. Within less than a second that all went through my head in this dream. When I finally woke up I reached for my dogs collar, I didn’t think I was really alive. I personally believe in parallel universes and the endless idea that there are many different realities of ourselves out there. Possibly an answer to Deja vu but I’m uncertain.
I reached for her collar to see if it was still pink, because if it had changed color, then it was proof I had somehow changed universes. Yes I realize writing that down it sounds absolutely bonkers, but it was my first thought after waking up from a premonition death of an event that is actually taking place in my life in 3 months. I’m writing this dream down in hopes that someone has had a similar experience, has anyone you know dreamt about their future death? What would you do? Have you ever fully died in your dreams?
To clear some bases: 1. No, nothing in my life has changed this is not a “transition” interpretation dream of death. I’m currently just a college student who plays video games, I literally do not do anything that would be considered a self realization transition. 2. At the risk of sounding insane and stupid, I watched and believe in the final destination movies ideology. If I am to cheat death because I saw my future before it happened, worse death will be upon me. So i am not canceling my trip, but I might have to get some medicine to make me sleep on this damn plane after all this.
I know this is long so if you read through all of this thank you and please give leave a thought. If nothing else, some encouragement that I’m not crazy lol, or if you think I’m crazy, give me a logical explanation and tell me it’s just my brain having anxiety. Honestly, anything will help at this point I’m spiraling.

I hope you are doing better today than yesterday. (TLDR at the end; or enjoy my story :) )

Why:

About 11 months ago, I launched my app for the first time on lonely because I had previously experienced loneliness myself during grad school. I wanted to reach out to people going through similar experiences by providing them with what would’ve helped me in the past.
I felt this was an important mission for me and a much more rewarding one than my day job that I quit my job to work on the app full-time.
It was necessary because I did not come from a programming background. I knew how to program in the sense of running scientific simulations on MATLAB, but creating the front-end and back-end for a consumer app was totally new to me, so I had to learn from scratch.
I enjoyed everyday going to a cafe to learn from programming crash courses on YouTube, developing the app little by little, and eventually launching the app! The initial response was actually pretty great: 220 upvotes for the app launch post, which I proudly pinned in my bio :)

How:

I made the app to be based on voice, and nothing else: no profiles, no profile photos, and even no texts. The reason for that was I felt a lot of people felt lonely and had trouble finding meaningful online connections because of the modern communication medium which actually promotes superficial and viral contents over authentic and long-form contents. It is easy to see from examples: TikTok’s 30 second videos, Instagram’s eye-popping photos by beautiful people from the globe, and Twitter(X)’s 140-char spicy takes. Sure, these platforms offer us information about DIYs, trends, and news that can enrich our lives and entertain us, but they don’t by all means help us feel more connected to individuals. Even on Reddit, the contents tend to be more wholesome and there are hilarious comments that build on top of each other, but the actual sense of connection you feel with the users is tenuous.
Focusing on voice worked! It was incredible listening to the heartfelt messages from strangers from all over the world who opened up about their loneliness and didn’t mind being vulnerable to other strangers. I have personally spoke with everyone that came by. The 14k minutes of voice messages do not include my own voice messages; they are all messages that people left for their own posts, to each other, or as replies to me.

Highlights:

There were some incredible moments, which would be too long to share in this post (leave a comment if you want to hear more!), but some of the highlights were (note: these are all from public conversations):

• Lady in New Brunswick, Canada was extremely depressed after a difficult divorce and felt being on the life’s edge. She was getting scammed left and right on dating apps and was losing hope. She told me that I was the only one that she felt she could trust and talk to, and she probably wouldn’t be here if I ever stopped talking to her. Thankfully, she eventually managed to find a boyfriend and she thanked me for having always been there for her. She still came back to the app to act as a supporter for other lonely souls for a while!
• Gentleman in New York, USA felt isolated in a farm and felt he had no real connections with anyone. He shared with me and other users about his life growing various vegetables, but stopped coming on the app for a couple of months. When he came back, he was pleasantly surprised by the app’s development, felt I really believed in my mission to help lonely souls, and became an evangelist for my app :) He posted on several forums on Reddit and engaged in conversations with many users on the app.

What was also incredible was that there were not only people experiencing loneliness here, but also people who did not feel lonely but were on the app to support others going through loneliness. They would share stories and studies related to loneliness in their posts, and also try to talk to some lonely folks on the app who seemed very hardened by their experience of loneliness which made them cynical and pessimistic. The concept of compassionate listening by Thich Nhat Hanh and Polyvagal theory that explains 3 levels of our nervous system are a few things they mentioned that come to my mind. Unfortunately, these efforts by supporters were often, so to speak, ineffective in solving people’s loneliness.

What I learned:

And that was part of what made it so hard to have a sustainable ecosystem on my app: many people who have been lonely for a long period of time had their personalities and social skills hardened to the point that they either:

• did not know how to engage with others by understanding social cues and sharing stories about themselves that allow themselves to be vulnerable to others, which allows for deeper social connections
• felt they are never good enough, they are stuck in their situation, and there is nothing that can help them get better. Any help or suggestions offered by others would only work on others and did not apply to them.

My hope for the app was to help people who experience loneliness find and support each other. By providing the platform for them to voice out their stories, have them be heard by others, and find others who resonate and reply, I thought they would finally find friends whom they can relate to, share their lives with, and would no longer have to feel lonely again.
However, the reality was that many were hardened by loneliness and it was hard for such connections to materialize. Plus, one of the main ways for an app like this to grow is by word of mouth. Unfortunately, most people experiencing loneliness did not have anyone to share the app with, which stunted the app’s growth and mostly depended on me manually bringing users onto the platform.
With fewer chances of having good interactions, even the people who really resonated with the app and shared stories slowly stopped coming back. Some just suddenly ghosted, which made the experience on the app painful for other engaged people on the app.

My hope for the future:

I still believe that there are more people out there experiencing loneliness who have the deep desire to share their stories and find the long-term friends across the globe who understand each other and can share slices of their lives with.
So, if you are someone that can benefit from sharing stories and solve your loneliness this way, feel free to check out my app at https://bubblic.app
Also, if you know of any way I can improve the app to better help people experiencing loneliness, please leave a comment.
Lastly, word of mouth would really help. If you like the app, or if you know someone who would benefit from the app, please share it with others!

TLDR:

I created an app focused on voice communication to help lonely people connect, inspired by my own experiences. Despite an encouraging start and meaningful interactions, many users struggled to form lasting connections due to the deep impact of their loneliness. Growth has been slow, mainly reliant on my efforts. If you know someone who might benefit, please share my app: https://bubblic.app. Feedback is also welcome!

I hope you are doing better today than yesterday. (TLDR at the end; or enjoy my story :) )

Why:

About 11 months ago, I launched my app here for the first time because I had previously experienced loneliness myself during grad school. I wanted to reach out to people going through similar experiences by providing them with what would’ve helped me in the past.
I felt this was an important mission for me and a much more rewarding one than my day job that I quit my job to work on the app full-time.
It was necessary because I did not come from a programming background. I knew how to program in the sense of running scientific simulations on MATLAB, but creating the front-end and back-end for a consumer app was totally new to me, so I had to learn from scratch.
I enjoyed everyday going to a cafe to learn from programming crash courses on YouTube, developing the app little by little, and eventually launching the app! The initial response was actually pretty great: 220 upvotes for the app launch post I made here, which I proudly pinned in my bio :)

How:

I made the app to be based on voice, and nothing else: no profiles, no profile photos, and even no texting. The reason for that was I felt a lot of people felt lonely and had trouble finding meaningful online connections because of the modern communication medium which actually promotes superficial and viral contents over authentic and long-form contents. It is easy to see from examples: TikTok’s 30 second videos, Instagram’s eye-popping photos by beautiful people from the globe, and Twitter(X)’s 140-char spicy takes. Sure, these platforms offer us information about DIYs, trends, and news that can enrich our lives and entertain us, but they don’t by all means help us feel more connected to individuals. Even on Reddit, the contents tend to be more wholesome and there are hilarious comments that build on top of each other, but the actual sense of connection you feel with the users is tenuous.
Focusing on voice worked! It was incredible listening to the heartfelt messages from strangers from all over the world who opened up about their loneliness and didn’t mind being vulnerable to other strangers. I have personally spoke with everyone that came by. The 14k minutes of voice messages do not include my own voice messages; they are all messages that people left for their own posts, to each other, or as replies to me.

Highlights:

There were some incredible moments, which would be too long to share in this post (leave a comment if you want to hear more!), but some of the highlights were (note: these are all from public conversations):

• Lady in New Brunswick, Canada was extremely depressed after a difficult divorce and felt being on the life’s edge. She was getting scammed left and right on dating apps and was losing hope. She told me that I was the only one that she felt she could trust and talk to, and she probably wouldn’t be here if I ever stopped talking to her. Thankfully, she eventually managed to find a boyfriend and she thanked me for having always been there for her. She still came back to the app to act as a supporter for other lonely souls for a while!
• Gentleman in New York, USA felt isolated in a farm and felt he had no real connections with anyone. He shared with me and other users about his life growing various vegetables, but stopped coming on the app for a couple of months. When he came back, he was pleasantly surprised by the app’s development, felt I really believed in my mission to help lonely souls, and became an evangelist for my app :) He posted on several forums on Reddit and engaged in conversations with many users on the app.

What was also incredible was that there were not only people experiencing loneliness here, but also people who did not feel lonely but were on the app to support others going through loneliness. They would share stories and studies related to loneliness in their posts, and also try to talk to some lonely folks on the app who seemed very hardened by their experience of loneliness which made them cynical and pessimistic. The concept of compassionate listening by Thich Nhat Hanh and Polyvagal theory that explains 3 levels of our nervous system are a few things they mentioned that come to my mind. Unfortunately, these efforts by supporters were often, so to speak, ineffective in solving people’s loneliness.

What I learned:

And that was part of what made it so hard to have a sustainable ecosystem on my app: many people who have been lonely for a long period of time had their personalities and social skills hardened to the point that they either:

• did not know how to engage with others by understanding social cues and sharing stories about themselves that allow themselves to be vulnerable to others, which allows for deeper social connections
• felt they are never good enough, they are stuck in their situation, and there is nothing that can help them get better. Any help or suggestions offered by others would only work on others and did not apply to them.

My hope for the app was to help people who experience loneliness find and support each other. By providing the platform for them to voice out their stories, have them be heard by others, and find others who resonate and reply, I thought they would finally find friends whom they can relate to, share their lives with, and would no longer have to feel lonely again.
However, the reality was that many were hardened by loneliness and it was hard for such connections to materialize. Plus, one of the main ways for an app like this to grow is by word of mouth. Unfortunately, most people experiencing loneliness did not have anyone to share the app with, which stunted the app’s growth and mostly depended on me manually bringing users onto the platform.
With fewer chances of having good interactions, even the people who really resonated with the app and shared stories slowly stopped coming back. Some just suddenly ghosted, which made the experience on the app painful for other engaged people on the app.

My hope for the future:

I still believe that there are more people out there experiencing loneliness who have the deep desire to share their stories and find the long-term friends across the globe who understand each other and can share slices of their lives with.
So, if you are someone that can benefit from sharing stories and solve your loneliness this way, feel free to check out my app at https://bubblic.app
Also, if you know of any way I can improve the app to better help people experiencing loneliness, please leave a comment.
Lastly, word of mouth would really help. If you like the app, or if you know someone who would benefit from the app, please share it with others!

TLDR:

I created an app focused on voice communication to help lonely people connect, inspired by my own experiences. Despite an encouraging start and meaningful interactions, many users struggled to form lasting connections due to the deep impact of their loneliness. Growth has been slow, mainly reliant on my efforts. If you know someone who might benefit, please share my app: https://bubblic.app. Feedback is also welcome!