The bellowing ring of the galleon's bell cuts clear through the clouds before its prow does, the baby blue sky joined with the rich umber of a hull following a long series of Clang... Clang... Clang. A careful eye might notice the gashed rips of claws in the half-drawn sails, but not many eyes are careful. Excitement has been the watchword of the day, the restlessness of the Guildhall practically bubbling over in confirmed anticipation of the vessel's arrival. Regardless of what might be below decks and upon newly minted charts there is one price coveted above all earned by the returning crew: Stories. More vital to your guild than any cargo is what that ship brings everywhere it goes. The bellowing ring of the galleon's bell cuts clear through the clouds before its prow does, the baby blue sky joined with the rich umber of a hull following a long series of Clang... Clang... Clang. A careful eye might notice the gashed rips of claws in the half-drawn sails, but not many eyes are careful. Excitement has been the watchword of the day, the restlessness of the Guildhall practically bubbling over in confirmed anticipation of the vessel's arrival. Regardless of what might be below decks and upon newly minted charts there is one price coveted above all earned by the returning crew: Stories. More vital to your guild than any cargo is what that ship brings everywhere it goes. Wonder*.*
Hi! I'm Ellory (They/she), DM of 8 years, and I'd like to be yours! DnD 5e was my very first exposure to TTRPGs and since then I've enjoyed a great many systems, but always will 5E have a very special place in my heart. I believe that the PCs are the main characters of the story that we all tell together, guided by my own work of set dressing and plot writing. I asked my players if they had anything to say for my DMing abilities, so I'll let them speak for me!

Reviews!

• "I've always believed that the single most important rule of any tabletop game is to have fun, and Ellory has mastered this rule. She's a top class Dungeon Master who has provided me with some of the greatest tabletop memories I've ever had. They've crafted some of the most heart pounding action, soul jerking sorrow, and joyous celebration I've felt at the table." -Tyler
• "Ellory is, by far, the best DM I have ever had. I have been playing at their table for 4+ years in a wide variety of systems and settings - a 1.5 year long campaign in a home-brewed world in DnD 5e, a 2-year-long campaign of Vampire: the Masquerade, and a variety of one-shots and short campaigns in other systems. I will likely continue to play at their table for the next decade or longer. I have played with a number of different storytellers and dungeon masters, and none of them have ever demonstrated the same level of care for the enjoyment of their players, nor for their world. Their voice-acting is varied, their passion for the story is noticeable, and their flexibility to account for players' desires is impressive." -Kaitlyn
• "Ellory's style of DM'ing immerses you in worlds that are vibrant, detailed, and dynamic. Every NPC in their games feels individually unique, with their own motives and plans, making interactions deeply engaging and often leading to unexpected twists and turns. Ellory manages to strike a perfect balance between long over-arching storylines and player agency. The plots are compelling and well-structured, providing a sense of purpose. However, they never impose these narratives at the expense of player freedom. Choices matter, and player actions have a genuine impact on the world and its inhabitants. Each player's decisions is woven seamlessly into the broader narrative, making every game feel like a collaborative storytelling effort. Most importantly, after being a part of Ellory's games for years, I still look forward to every session and always leave having had a great time. If you're looking for a great DM whose sessions you eagerly anticipate each week, look no further." -Tanner

Game Details!

As is my wont, I've gone and made another fully fleshed out setting for a brand new group of players to experience. You will play as the explorers at the horizon, agents of The Cartographer's Guild. Maps are very important when you have to worry about another island, however distant, on a collision course with your house. And while map making is less than dramatic, the real main event is the exploration of never-before-seen chunks of land that haven't seen a soul in generations. Forgotten tombs and harrowing dungeons, isolated villages and monster nests await our intrepid voyagers, getting rich off of history before it kills them.
There's a fair bit of lore that would make this ad far and away overstuffed. If you're interested to learn the lore of creation, see a glimpse of history, and examine the 5 detailed cultures of the world, feel free to peruse this drive folder! https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/117zEVINT4h8qY4dkA3O5EU9J2VDrXPNY?usp=sharing
Generally speaking, our format of play will involved downtime at the Guildhall with our characters unwinding from the last expedition and preparing for the next. From there, exploration will ensue with brief but enriching and immersing random encounters until a plot encounter is discovered. Following its resolution our heroes will return to base and so the cycle repeats, with some glaring exceptions when player decision calls for it.
I have a handful of ideas for an overarching narrative, but our final choice will be made collaboratively and in accordance with player interest and backstory considerations.
I accept any and all classes from officially published material, though your selection of lineage/race will be more limited to fit the lore of the setting. Your options will include:

• Humans, the Tribe Undivided
• Dwarves, the Tribe of Earth
• Drau-shi, the Tribe of Water
• Rani, the Tribe of Fire
• Elves, the Tribe of Air

Even the familiar names of the above list do have occasionally significant alterations from the PHB to reflect their unique standing in the Shattered Skies.

Logistics & Requirements!

This game will require payment to the Game Master at a rate of $20 per session excepting absences and session zero delivered through Venmo, Cash App, or Zelle.
Roll20 will be used for the purposes of tactical combat encounter maps, dice rolling, and character sheet management. Discord will be used for voice and video communications. I will be using my camera for our sessions so I can talk with my hands and face alongside my voice, and I would encourage you to do the same! I have a server made and prepared for this game.
My timezone is CST, and I'm entirely available on Saturday to make a session time work around whatever our schedules allow for. I'm partial to evening start times myself. I'm hoping our (free) session zero can happen on the 25th and we can begin play properly on the 1st of June.
If you're paying for sessions of DnD it's a fair assumption you're over the age of 18, and I would prefer you're at least that old. Exceptions can be made, but my games tend to be adult and include elements of occasionally disturbing horror.
I expect y'all to have fun, and if that involves drug or alcohol use for you I'd ask the dial to be set to somewhere around 3 out of 10. I've been known to have a glass of wine during sessions but never anything more.
Safety tools will be utilized to maintain a safe environment where everyone is having comfortable fun. Lines and veils will be established, and mine is an open table. If you knowingly violate a line it is grounds for ejection without refund. There is a certain amount of emotional trust we give our players and our DMs when we play this game, and it will not be betrayed.
Furthermore, this is an explicitly LGBT friendly space. I'm queer in multiple ways and queer identities will be portrayed in the NPCs of the world. If either of those things are deal breakers for you, please look elsewhere for a game.

In Closing!

If this game has piqued your interest, shoot me a message on Reddit or find me on discord at "teslazoa"!

The bellowing ring of the galleon's bell cuts clear through the clouds before its prow does, the baby blue sky joined with the rich umber of a hull following a long series of Clang... Clang... Clang. A careful eye might notice the gashed rips of claws in the half-drawn sails, but not many eyes are careful. Excitement has been the watchword of the day, the restlessness of the Guildhall practically bubbling over in confirmed anticipation of the vessel's arrival. Regardless of what might be below decks and upon newly minted charts there is one price coveted above all earned by the returning crew: Stories. More vital to your guild than any cargo is what that ship brings everywhere it goes. The bellowing ring of the galleon's bell cuts clear through the clouds before its prow does, the baby blue sky joined with the rich umber of a hull following a long series of Clang... Clang... Clang. A careful eye might notice the gashed rips of claws in the half-drawn sails, but not many eyes are careful. Excitement has been the watchword of the day, the restlessness of the Guildhall practically bubbling over in confirmed anticipation of the vessel's arrival. Regardless of what might be below decks and upon newly minted charts there is one price coveted above all earned by the returning crew: Stories. More vital to your guild than any cargo is what that ship brings everywhere it goes. Wonder*.*
Hi! I'm Ellory (They/she), DM of 8 years, and I'd like to be yours! DnD 5e was my very first exposure to TTRPGs and since then I've enjoyed a great many systems, but always will 5E have a very special place in my heart. I believe that the PCs are the main characters of the story that we all tell together, guided by my own work of set dressing and plot writing. I asked my players if they had anything to say for my DMing abilities, so I'll let them speak for me!

Reviews!

• "I've always believed that the single most important rule of any tabletop game is to have fun, and Ellory has mastered this rule. She's a top class Dungeon Master who has provided me with some of the greatest tabletop memories I've ever had. They've crafted some of the most heart pounding action, soul jerking sorrow, and joyous celebration I've felt at the table." -Tyler
• "Ellory is, by far, the best DM I have ever had. I have been playing at their table for 4+ years in a wide variety of systems and settings - a 1.5 year long campaign in a home-brewed world in DnD 5e, a 2-year-long campaign of Vampire: the Masquerade, and a variety of one-shots and short campaigns in other systems. I will likely continue to play at their table for the next decade or longer. I have played with a number of different storytellers and dungeon masters, and none of them have ever demonstrated the same level of care for the enjoyment of their players, nor for their world. Their voice-acting is varied, their passion for the story is noticeable, and their flexibility to account for players' desires is impressive." -Kaitlyn
• "Ellory's style of DM'ing immerses you in worlds that are vibrant, detailed, and dynamic. Every NPC in their games feels individually unique, with their own motives and plans, making interactions deeply engaging and often leading to unexpected twists and turns. Ellory manages to strike a perfect balance between long over-arching storylines and player agency. The plots are compelling and well-structured, providing a sense of purpose. However, they never impose these narratives at the expense of player freedom. Choices matter, and player actions have a genuine impact on the world and its inhabitants. Each player's decisions is woven seamlessly into the broader narrative, making every game feel like a collaborative storytelling effort. Most importantly, after being a part of Ellory's games for years, I still look forward to every session and always leave having had a great time. If you're looking for a great DM whose sessions you eagerly anticipate each week, look no further." -Tanner

Game Details!

As is my wont, I've gone and made another fully fleshed out setting for a brand new group of players to experience. You will play as the explorers at the horizon, agents of The Cartographer's Guild. Maps are very important when you have to worry about another island, however distant, on a collision course with your house. And while map making is less than dramatic, the real main event is the exploration of never-before-seen chunks of land that haven't seen a soul in generations. Forgotten tombs and harrowing dungeons, isolated villages and monster nests await our intrepid voyagers, getting rich off of history before it kills them.
There's a fair bit of lore that would make this ad far and away overstuffed. If you're interested to learn the lore of creation, see a glimpse of history, and examine the 5 detailed cultures of the world, feel free to peruse this drive folder! https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/117zEVINT4h8qY4dkA3O5EU9J2VDrXPNY?usp=sharing
Generally speaking, our format of play will involved downtime at the Guildhall with our characters unwinding from the last expedition and preparing for the next. From there, exploration will ensue with brief but enriching and immersing random encounters until a plot encounter is discovered. Following its resolution our heroes will return to base and so the cycle repeats, with some glaring exceptions when player decision calls for it.
I have a handful of ideas for an overarching narrative, but our final choice will be made collaboratively and in accordance with player interest and backstory considerations.
I accept any and all classes from officially published material, though your selection of lineage/race will be more limited to fit the lore of the setting. Your options will include:

• Humans, the Tribe Undivided
• Dwarves, the Tribe of Earth
• Drau-shi, the Tribe of Water
• Rani, the Tribe of Fire
• Elves, the Tribe of Air

Even the familiar names of the above list do have occasionally significant alterations from the PHB to reflect their unique standing in the Shattered Skies.

Logistics & Requirements!

This game will require payment to the Game Master at a rate of $20 per session excepting absences and session zero delivered through Venmo, Cash App, or Zelle.
Roll20 will be used for the purposes of tactical combat encounter maps, dice rolling, and character sheet management. Discord will be used for voice and video communications. I will be using my camera for our sessions so I can talk with my hands and face alongside my voice, and I would encourage you to do the same! I have a server made and prepared for this game.
My timezone is CST, and I'm entirely available on Saturday to make a session time work around whatever our schedules allow for. I'm partial to evening start times myself. I'm hoping our (free) session zero can happen on the 25th and we can begin play properly on the 1st of June.
If you're paying for sessions of DnD it's a fair assumption you're over the age of 18, and I would prefer you're at least that old. Exceptions can be made, but my games tend to be adult and include elements of occasionally disturbing horror.
I expect y'all to have fun, and if that involves drug or alcohol use for you I'd ask the dial to be set to somewhere around 3 out of 10. I've been known to have a glass of wine during sessions but never anything more.
Safety tools will be utilized to maintain a safe environment where everyone is having comfortable fun. Lines and veils will be established, and mine is an open table. If you knowingly violate a line it is grounds for ejection without refund. There is a certain amount of emotional trust we give our players and our DMs when we play this game, and it will not be betrayed.
Furthermore, this is an explicitly LGBT friendly space. I'm queer in multiple ways and queer identities will be portrayed in the NPCs of the world. If either of those things are deal breakers for you, please look elsewhere for a game.

In Closing!

If this game has piqued your interest, shoot me a message on Reddit or find me on discord at "teslazoa"!

In the realm of esports, where mere seconds can determine victory or defeat, mastering the intricacies of the game settings can be the edge propelling a gamer to the top.
With VALORANT emerging as the premier FPS title in the competitive gaming scene, learning the optimal configurations is helpful for aspiring players trying to ascend the ranks.
This comprehensive guide delves into different VALORANT settings, from mouse sensitivity to graphics configurations. As VALORANT continues dominating the esports landscape, players should equip themselves with the tools necessary to outshine the competition and elevate their gameplay.

Suggested System Requirements
A system meeting the necessary specifications is the foundation for a seamless VALORANT experience, particularly for optimal performance and responsiveness. The basis of competitive play lies in minimizing system latency through hardware capabilities and making strategic settings adjustments.
VALORANT settings used by the pros prioritize frame rates over graphical fidelity to reduce latency. Generally, the best VALORANT settings for FPS assert that the higher the FPS, the better. To achieve this, NVIDIA’s Reflex Low Latency Technology can be a pivotal asset, synchronizing GPU and CPU operations to streamline rendering processes.
Catering to different hardware configurations, VALORANT maintains accessibility without compromising on its fluid gameplay mechanics. Below are the recommended system requirements for good VALORANT PC settings so players can tailor their setups to meet the demands of tactical combat in the game’s dynamic arenas.

Suggested Requirements
CPU: Core i3-4150 / Ryzen 3 1200
RAM: 4 GB
GPU: GeForce GT 730 / Radeon R7 240
VRAM: 1GB
OS: Windows 7/8/10 64-bit
For most gaming PCs, the minimum amount of RAM to run any modern game is 16 GB, and with most systems running Windows 10 or 11, most gamers should be ready to play.
Anyone with issues running VALORANT should troubleshoot and determine which components to upgrade.

Best VALORANT Settings
In VALORANT, split-second decisions and precise maneuvers reign supreme. Along with mastering the needed skills to be at the top of the game, determining the best VALORANT PC settings for gameplay can unlock a player’s full potential on the battlefield.
Aspiring to emulate VALORANT settings used by the pros, it’s essential to adopt configurations to optimize performance and enhance competitive edge.
From fine-tuning graphics for clarity to calibrating mouse settings to match play style, this guide explores every facet of configuration essential for dominating VALORANT.

Best Graphics Settings
In VALORANT, graphics settings are not merely about visual fidelity but also maximizing performance and improving gameplay clarity. VALORANT caters to various hardware configurations, so finding the perfect balance between performance and visibility is paramount for competitive success.
For example, playing on a 144Hz monitor offers the smoothest gameplay experience, necessitating adjustments to the in-game resolution settings to match this refresh rate. Other recommendations include turning off features like Vignette and Bloom, which may compromise visual clarity without offering any competitive advantage.
Here’s a breakdown of the best VALORANT PC graphics settings:

• Display Mode: Set to fullscreen to maximize frames per second (FPS) and ensure immersive gameplay.
• Material Quality: Lower this setting to reduce the complexity of shadows and materials, optimizing performance without compromising competitive gameplay.
• Texture Quality: Although this setting minimizes performance, setting it to medium or high can enhance visual fidelity on high-tier systems.
• Detail Quality: Lowering this setting reduces visual clutter, especially in foliage and textured environments, providing a slight competitive advantage without sacrificing performance.
• UI Quality: Keep this setting medium, as it doesn’t significantly impact performance or visuals.
• V-Sync: Turn off V-Sync to prevent input lag and maintain smooth gameplay, especially in fast-paced scenarios.
• Anti-Aliasing: Set to MSAA x2 to sharpen edges and improve visual clarity without heavily taxing system resources.
• Anisotropic Filtering: Experiment with 2x or 4x settings to enhance sharpness on oblique surfaces based on personal preference.
• Improve Clarity: Keep this setting off to avoid potential performance impacts while providing minimal visual gain.
• Experimental Sharpening: Although still in beta, enabling this setting may sharpen texture edges for increased visibility, enhancing the gaming experience.
• Distortion: Turn distortion off to maintain visual clarity and prevent any reduction in gameplay quality.
• Cast Shadows: Enable cast shadows to ensure enemy shadows are visible upon contact, facilitating faster reaction times and enhancing gameplay precision.

By adhering to these recommended graphics settings and fine-tuning them based on individual preferences and system capabilities, players can enjoy a smoother, more immersive gaming experience in VALORANT.

Best Mouse Settings
Along with adjusting to having the best VALORANT PC settings, mouse settings are just as helpful in gameplay. Precision is paramount in VALORANT, and mouse settings are crucial in determining a player’s ability to land those game-changing shots. Mouse settings encompass a range of factors, including:

• Mouse Sensitivity: For beginners, starting with a higher mouse sensitivity may feel more comfortable, as it mainly requires wrist movements to navigate the battlefield. However, transitioning to a lower mouse sensitivity becomes essential when progressing for pinpoint accuracy. Lower sensitivity settings afford greater control and consistency so players can land precise shots during battle.
• Scoped Sensitivity: For scoped sensitivity, consistency is critical. Setting the scoped sensitivity multiplier to ‘1’ means sensitivity remains consistent between scoped and ADS (aim down sight) modes, promoting muscle memory and precision. Some players opt for a lower scoped sensitivity to increase precision with scoped weapons, but most adhere to the ‘1’ setting.
• DPI: Many VALORANT pros use DPI settings no higher than 1600, with 800 DPI being the most common choice, followed by 400 DPI. These settings balance precision and maneuverability, allowing players to navigate the battlefield with finesse and pinpoint accuracy.
• eDPI: Choosing the proper sensitivity setting is vital in a game where every bullet counts and time to kill is minimal. The ideal sensitivity setting balances precision aiming and swift reaction times to deal with unexpected threats and flankers effectively. The average eDPI settings among VALORANT pros hovers around 267.

From beginners to VALORANT pros, fine-tuning PC mouse settings is essential for unlocking a player’s full potential. Feel free to experiment with different sensitivities and settings to find what works best.

Get the Best Gaming PC for VALORANT
Along with utilizing the best VALORANT PC settings, having a top-tier gaming PC creates the ultimate player experience.
VALORANT players who are ready to elevate their gaming experience to new heights can search through iBUYPOWER's expansive selection of gaming PCs. With cutting-edge technology, expert craftsmanship, and customization options, iBUYPOWER’s gaming PCs provide the ultimate gaming experience with seamless gameplay, stunning visuals, and lightning-fast responsiveness.
Join the elite gamers and experience VALORANT like never before by upgrading today and conquering the competition with an iBUYPOWER gaming PC. If you’re interested in getting some of the best optimized gaming PCs designed to play VALORANT on, check out our line of iBUYPOWER VCT Americas Spec-Approved PCs

My husband and I were supposed to get our very 1st tattoo, matching doves, on our baby’s due date in July. I’m actually pregnant right now (5w) so I decided to cancel our tattoo not to risk anything. My husband is now wanting a different tattoo (not pertaining to our baby) on the same date. I’m very hurt by this because it was supposed to be us honouring our baby and both going through the experience of our first tattoo. He told me he’s about to re-book for that date and I’m so angry I haven’t spoken to him all night. What should I do?

My dream notebook
11 x 8.5 sized paper 100 gsm paper Acid free paper College rule paper 120 pages not 60 page counting front and back Hard cover Dual spiral not to big 360 degree rotation The top of each page should have a number A table on context at the start I would be using the frixon pens, maybe highlighters
Here is the thing that bugs me. This is my math notebook and the style of how I write often interferes with the line making it look messy. I often like to write big but sometimes I want to write small. That’s why I’m thinking of blank paper so I can show my ideas better. But I need lines to write straight because I have bad handwriting. If I got the blank paper I could buy a stamp for graphs which would be nice. Some of the things I said prior you can’t really do with blank paper or would be much harder.
Comments, concerns, ideas, products to solve problem would be appreciated

I'm looking ahead to next year and am ready to start the hunt once again for my ideal ELA curriculum. Up to this point, we've largely used workbooks and a DIY curricula of my own, but frankly I'm tired of doing that lol. I'm open to 'traditional' options, Teachers Pay Teachers, and Outschool, but I'm hoping to not drop hundreds of dollars on this.
My major issue with ELA curricula is that my son has dyspraxia, and so the immense amount of handwriting bogs everything down and simply doesn't work for us. I'm happy to accommodate and let him type near-everything, but converting existing material to a digital-friendly format sucks. Writing isn't his strong suit and he's maybe a bit behind as far as sentence and paragraph building go (he can do it, but not well, and often needs guidance), so I'm hoping for a smoother, more cohesive path for us to follow next year.
I guess I'm looking for:

• Something like Beast Academy online, but for language arts. Fully online, and engaging but not too little-kid feeling, yknow?
• Single subject but comprehensive, covering writing styles, sentence and paragraph skills, grammar, etc. Spelling is take it or leave it.
• 100% secular.
• Not live classes. Video instruction is fine, but we keep a non-standard schedule and a 9am Zoom class from TPT isn't the vibe.

As I said, this is my white whale and I don't even really know if what I want exists, but thank you in advance for any suggestions. :)

Soo… this has likely been done before. But I’m currently working on a new casual format to play with friends that slows the game down a little and is less combo heavy. I guess a more structured playground style yugioh.
The barrier to entry is extremely high for new players, Konami keeps trying casual formats (Speed Duel, Duel Links, etc.) but I feel a new format needs to exist within the current ecosystem. You shouldn’t need to buy all new cards to play a different format.
Took inspiration from MtG’s Commander format as well as One Piece TCG with automatic resources. Thoughts?
Core Rules
Deck Size: Each deck must contain exactly 60 cards.
Single card rule: No duplicate cards are allowed in the main deck. Each card must be unique.
Extra Deck: Each deck can include up to 5 cards in the Extra Deck, also no duplicates
Life Points: Each player starts with 8000 Life Points like normal
Champion Card: Each deck must have a "Champion" card
Millennium Counters: Players gain Millennium Counters each turn, which can be spent to perform specific actions.
Millennium Counters
Starting Counters: Each player starts with 1 Millennium Counter. Players gain 1 counter at the beginning of their turn (turn 1 player does not gain a counter)
Turn example
Turn 1: Player 1 - 1 Millennium Counter Turn 2: Player 2 - 2 Millennium Counters Turn 3: Player 1 - 2 Millennium Counters Turn 4: Player 2 - 3 Millennium Counters Etc
Spending Counters: Millennium Counters can be spent to perform special actions
Special Actions Using Millennium Counters
Special Summon Champions: Spend 3 Millennium Counters to Special Summon your champion, ignoring its summoning conditions.
Draw Card: Spend 2 Millennium Counters to draw a card from your deck.
Recover Life Points: Spend 1 Millennium Counter to recover 1000 Life Points.
Negate Summon: Spend 4 Millennium Counters to negate the summon of a monster.
If your champion is removed from the field it does not go to the graveyard or banish zone. It returns to the champion zone and it can be summoned again with 3 more champion counters.

We are paralyzed with indecision and can’t agree.
Older sisters are Scarlett Ann and Piper Jane. I like that both names have personality but are still fairly classic. I chose Scarlett; husband chose Piper, which I didn’t love at first but I’ve come around.
We need a name for a third girl. Ideally, it would be similar in style and be two syllables.
I like Aurora, but it’s three syllables (and peanut buttery as people have pointed out). Husband likes Hazel, but I’m not sold.
Other names we somewhat like are Zoe, Lily, Lucy and Chloe, but they all feel too different in style and I’m not sure I like the “eee” sound leading into our last name.

Let's start by saying that this is my first (official) relationship ever.
A bit of background:
I've always had trouble socially relating to people; I'm so insecure and afraid of rejection, and I also had strict parents. Throughout the years, I've gained a bit of freedom for myself but it's not enough (I still live my parents).
I've always wanted to get close to people and have friends (I currently have just one) and a relationship, but I'm also afraid that I'm not interesting enough, that I won't know what to talk about, etc. So my strategy has always been to act cold towards people and wait for them to approach me first. If they approach me, it must mean that they have at least some interest in me...
In the past, I often found myself daydreaming about how a loving relationship would look like: he would love me a lot, accept me for who I am, not judge me for my physical little imperfections, have great emotional and physical chemistry, and I would love him back just the same. I know it might sound too perfect, but that's what I know I've always craved.
I have had a very few relationships/situationships where the men just never asked me to be their girlfriend and make things official. I think those "relationships" failed in part because I was so cold towards them even if inside I wanted to kiss or hug them first. I always hoped they asked me to be their girlfriend. Also, I always stayed till the end, until THEY didn't want anything to do with me anymore.
So with my current boyfriend, all things seem different. I met him at a mall. HE approached me first. At first I wasn't really attracted to him physically but he started telling me about his life and his varied life experiences. He seemed interesting. We exchanged numbers. Then we started going out. He's very different from me. He has a different clothing style than mine, he likes urban music, he has tattoos and has 1 piercing.
My very first impression of him was that he looked like the bad-boy type, so I didn't think he was interested in anything serious. But right on the second date, he mentioned he was looking for someone who really cared for him. He said something like: "it's nice to have someone that cares for you, even for the little things and even asks if you ate already, if you slept well, etc." Before that moment, I didn't have high expectations and was probably ready to accept whatever 🤦🏻‍♀️.
As time went by, I started liking more things on him, finding a few things in common. Until he asked me to be his girlfriend after one month of hanging out. I had waited for that moment for so long, and it finally came, but I didn't know how to feel. I felt kind of sad. Even though I knew he and me were looking for a serious relationship, I felt fearful, but I kept going.
We've shared beautiful moments so far. I feel at home, peaceful, respected, and loved when I'm with him. But sometimes I catch myself judging him for small imperfections. I'm physically attracted to him and we have good chemistry there, but I can't help noticing what he does "wrong." When we text, he sometimes writes with bad grammar and I can't help but judge him inside. Sometimes he sends me videos of him dancing happily for me, and I can't help but think "how isn't he afraid of being silly in front of me or even others?" I believe me judging him might stem from the same type of judgment I received when growing up. I just hate it and don't want to be like this. I know no one is perfect and yet my mind is obsessed with perfection.
My BF has had a difficult life and experiences, and yet he smiles all the time, has fun, is free, and has lots of love to give. He even says he loves me, but I don't feel sure to say it back to him. My mind tells me that I'm probably just using him and getting his love while I'm not able to love him back. I feel like a bad person for that. I do care for him. I've cried with him listening to how he feels when sad of bc of past hurtful events. When I look at him, I see someone sincere. I love to have him close, hug him, kiss him, feel his odor, listen to his voice, listen to him singing. Yet I have these other horrible thoughts that I can't let go.
I feel like I wasn't really ready for a relationship as I believed, and that there's a lot of work I need to do on myself, but I don't want to lose him either. I can't decide if I really like him, if I'm obsessed, if I'm dependant or what.
Need some advice on what to do and hear others perspective on this.
Sorry for the long post. I tried to give enough details 😅. Thanks in advance.

Hello!

At the beginning of the year, we kicked off a series of events to celebrate... well a number of things! The subreddit growth is insane, so we hit 10 million subscribers while we were just finishing up celebrating 9 million...

But we started that celebration with a new Essay and Video contest! I'm happy to announce that after a long series of deliberations, we're ready to announce your winners! First and foremost, I want to congratulate everyone on producing such wonderful submissions. I and the other judges absolutely enjoyed reading/watching them, and I hope this encourages you to create more. I'm always here for what limited guidance I can give.
Reminder: Prizes are funded through Reddit's Community Funds program! The top 3 positions will receive gift cards to Crunchyroll's (formerly RightStuf) store! Please, I would love to see what you're going to purchase with them.

Writing Contest

1st Place: In This Corner of the World: Agency, The Past, and The Paths We Did Not Choose by VelaryonAu

VelaryonAu hits it out of the park with this essay. It stays true to the theme, starting strong and continuing that quality until the end. Much like Suzu's life, it expertly moves from point to point, example to example, all the while using succinct and pleasant prose. We all enjoyed every second of reading this piece and we think you will too. VelaryonAu wins a $200 gift card.

2nd Place: Gunslinger Girl and Confronting the Posthuman by paukshop

Paukshop delivers an essay that exemplifies the reason why we keep the themes for these contests vague, with it being a clever examination of a beloved classic under a unique lens. This is probably one of the best structured essays we received, clearly laying out step by step how each relationship in the show may evoke different interpretations of the posthuman. Its broad coverage and almost academic nature earn it 2nd place, winning a $100 gift card.

3rd Place: Puella Magi Madoka Magica: Eternal by baquea

As expected from a fan of Madoka Magica, and much like the show itself, this essay is dense with meaning. Baquea's prose ebbs and flows—sentences sometimes stretching out into labyrinthian snakes or curving back around into pointed statements. Regardless of what you think about the show or the writing style, this essay makes itself heard. Its clear passion and depth of knowledge towards the subject earns it a $50 gift card.

Videos

1st Place: Heavenly Delusion: Body Horror, Gender, & Transformation by thedman1954

This video is not only laser focused, it utilizes the video format pretty near to its fullest potential. The subject matter is exciting and engrossing, and it serves to be a vessel for the feel of the show itself. Editing is a strong point, using slick transitions and title cards to further illustrate key points. A nearly flawless entry earns it first place and a $200 gift card.

2nd Place: Blue Reflection Ray ( I Want to Change!) by thegajumaru

Thegajumaru's "[Blue Reflection Ray] I Want to Change!" starts off in a peculiar way, but I think one of the best things about the video format is that you can experiment and be eclectic and maybe... go off on a completely non-anime tangent about Star Wars before jumping into your real topic of Blue Reflection Ray. The most notable thing about this video is just how watchable it is. It flows from point to point with ease—both the editing and script leading the viewer along, almost unbeknownst to them just how entertained they are along the way. This addicting quality earns thegajumaru a $100 gift card.

3rd Place: Grief in To your Eternity by paukshop

Pauk digs into a core concept of To Your Eternity in this video, following the throughline of our main character almost literally carries his grief for his friends and family with him. My personal notes on the video mention quote, "it's quite to the point and the point is strong," and in a sea of videos that are stretched out as long as they can for monetary's sake—it's a breath of fresh air. One of the hardest things to do in a contest like that is coming up with a concept that fits/subverts the theme, but pauk combining literal as well as metaphorical transformations, as well as adding a small personal touch, really elevates this video. He gets a nice $50 gift card for his efforts (in addition to his essay win!).
That's that! Congratulations to our winners, but also to everyone who managed to sneak in a submission. Please view the round-up of EVERYTHING here. I love seeing well thought out posts to the sub, whether that be in essay or video format. If you have any ideas on how to encourage this content, let me or the rest of the mod team know. Oh and also, if you submitted an entry and would like some brief notes on what we thought, message the moderators or PM me!
Winners, expect to receive a PM asking to confirm some information, and then accept your prize!
Thanks all!

To explain...
The way I am now, I still have a lot to learn about both media and the world at large. I need to improve my media literacy skills, pay more attention to the news, inform myself as deeply on political and world affairs as most people, have stronger opinions that can be backed up with sufficient evidence on everything, and understand how people work in a way different from what I used to. I still want to write consistently, but I feel like I have nothing to really say or share unlike other people who do so.
While I don't aim for realism, there is also the matter of needing to better understand combat styles, war tactics, color symbolism, weaponry, clothing, history, psychology, cultures, myths, religions, and more.

"There are very few directors, about whom you’d say you automatically have to see everything they do," Stanley Kubrick said in 1966. "I’d put Fellini, Bergman and David Lean at the head of my first list."
Almost sixty years later, I think it's safe to say, Lean does not quite have the same safely canonical status as Fellini or Bergman. (Just four years later, the scathing critical reception of Ryan's Daughter would put a serious dent in Lean's reputation and allegedly, lead to an almost fifteen year-long absence from feature films.)
No David Lean films finished in the top 100 of the 2022 BFI/Sight and Sound Poll (Lawrence of Arabia did finish tied for 62nd in the directors' poll) and only three made the top 1,000 (including Doctor Zhivago in 911th place.)
Despite his influence on generations of filmmakers, from Spaghetti westerns to New Hollywood to Peter Jackson and Denis Villeneuve (and some less obvious names like Spike Lee and John Woo), I think there's a general perception of him as ponderous and old-fashioned, one that is itself decades old. Consider, for instance, the opening of Dave Kehr's review of Lean's last film:

David Lean’s studied, plodding, overanalytic direction manages to kill most of the meaning in E.M. Forster’s haunting novel of cultural collision in colonial India

Or Andrew Sarris on his penultimate film:

David Lean's "Ryan's Daughter" possesses all the antique charm and amiability of a dinosaur ambling (in scenic longshot) down the road to an undeserved oblivion.

One challenge when thinking about David Lean's career as a whole is just how much his last five films -- which made his name synonymous with 'epic cinema' overshadow his first twelve, how Lean is generally known for and judged by his late style.
While his name has not taken an adjectival form à la Felliniesque or Hitchcockian or Lynchian, I think it's safe to say that "David Lean" has also become shorthand for a certain kind of filmmaking.; when filmmakers talk about how Lean influenced them, they almost always talk about his last five films, especially Lawrence.
A critic comparing a new release to the films of David Lean gives you a good idea of what that film will be like, at least on the surface level: epic, vast landscapes, probably involving an epic journey against the backdrop of large-scale sociopolitical conflict. Even though Lean only wrote one of the screenplays in question, I think it's fair to call his last five films true auteur works, films that clearly express a consistent artistic vision. These films, however, are less than a third of his filmography.
If you've been on this subreddit for a while, you've probably seen someone object to the characterization of Martin Scorsese as a mob movie director by pointing out that his filmography includes a much broader range of themes and settings. Something similar can be said of Lean; no one would call Brief Encounter or Blithe Spirit epics. The two films he made before The Bridge on the River Kwai -- Hobson's Choice and Summertime -- are very different from it. And of course the young Lean earned a reputation as cinema's greatest adapter of two very different writers, Noël Coward and Charles Dickens. David Thomson, no fan of the second half of Lean's career, highly praises the first in his New Biographical Dictionary of Film:

Lean before 1952 made eight films in ten years that are lively, stirring, and an inspiration—they make you want to go out and make movies, they are so in love with the screen's power and the combustion in editing.

In other words, Lean's filmography includes much more than 3+ hour roadshow epics with overtures and intermissions; he also directed comedies, and small-scale character-driven stories. Furthermore, his acknowledged mastery of visual spectacle also overshadows how good he could be as a director of actors, with a specially knack for working with younger actors. He directed Peter O'Toole, Omar Sharif, Alec Guinness Trevor Howard, Celia Johnson and Robert Newton in their breakout roles, and I think that that's also a major part of his legacy.
In short, a serious filmmaker, worthy of discussion, and with a much wider range than you might think at first. (If you didn't see the credits, would you ever think that Lawrence and Brief Encounter were directed by the same person?) And someone who perhaps deserves more credit than some people are willing to give him, considering his combination of artistic range, critical success, commercial success and influence on other filmmakers.
What are your thoughts on David Lean and his legacy?

Hey, among many guitars I have a Fender Telecaster HH and I just ordered a Fender Jaguar Player (humbucker in the bridge - with routing for a humbucker in the neck).
I’m exploring pickup upgrades for both.
I play a mix of styles from hardcore through to funk. Mainly high gain - mixed with electronic beats.
Most of my guitars have humbuckers in the bridge and neck with split coils.
In truth, I barely use my neck pickup - apart from liquid-style lead occasionally.
I’m keen to try something different.
How does a P90 sound and perform in the neck against a humbucker in the bridge?
What kind of use case would it serve?

Hey guys, so I was selected for a huge opportunity through my school grad program this August. Me and 3 other students are being sent to this camp to work with kids about 3 or so hours away and we will be there for a full week. It's a sleep away cabin style type camp, we'll all be in like one cabin area with a shared bathroom and basically for the entire week we will be outside with the kids all day every day doing activities and such. They suggest that students carpool, but I will not be as I draw the line there lol (I get motion sick pretty easy with anyone other than my husband and I'm not close at all with the other students going).
Obviously, I'm really worried about getting sick there since its a shared living space and shared bathroom. What if I need the bathroom when someone's in there? What if I'm sick and someone needs the bathroom? I also have IBS, so that's fun to think about too. In preparation for this trip we've had many different Zooms with previous volunteers for this camp and every single person has always said "how amazing it is, what a great opportunity, we're so lucky to be picked (it is a very difficult application process and very hard to be selected for), we're going to have so much fun" blah blah blah. I'm of course so excited, but so so anxious about it. More so because I have no one I'm super close to going with me for once in my life.
Any advice?

The stress of the last six months has nearly killed me. Besides the general cratering of the outside world—political strife, climate change, inflated rents, corporate greed, and the baffling resurgence of crew socks—my internal life was falling apart, too. I'm at the point where I can't see a way out of the darkness, and that feeling has only grown in the last few days.
My struggles ramped up exponentially in the last two weeks. It started when my long-term girlfriend and I called it quits after five years. There was no definitive relationship-altering fight or infidelity. It was simply the boring banality of the "roommate-ification" of our lives together. We both felt the shift but never talked about it. Turns out communication is important.
Truthfully, we'd stayed together for so long because we couldn't afford to live apart. Our rent had nearly doubled the last time we re-upped our lease but even that was a bargain compared to what was out there currently. We were trapped by our need to have a roof over our heads.
My job had stagnated, and I couldn't find anything better. I was stuck. Like me, she'd been job hunting as well. Unlike me, she had a master's, and her prospects should've been higher. They weren't. For five months, she applied to hundreds of jobs and couldn't break through. If she got a rejection email, it was a win. Most of the time, the companies never responded.
Finally, she found a great opportunity at a Fortune 500 company. It was an involved process. She nailed the five interviews, and her "test project" was well received. She was offered the position, and it came with a massive pay increase—double her current salary. I was proud of her—she needed a win. We celebrated with pizza and beer that night.
Two days later, she dropped the bomb that she was breaking things off. The relationship ending wasn't a surprise. The timing was. The discussion was brief, and there was zero chance of reconciliation. She declined when I asked if she could stay until the lease ended. Mentally, it would've been too much for her. Two days after that, she moved out, taking half the rent with her. I was stuck in a lease I couldn't afford on my salary for the next six months.
My free time evaporated as I took on two extra gigs to help make ends meet. In addition to my office nine to five, I drove for a delivery app on the weekends and took a part-time night job stocking shelves at a local grocery store. When I wasn't hustling for housing, I slept or ate. I did nothing beyond that. Nothing brings me joy. There is no spark.
This drudgery has become my daily routine, and it's killing me.
To help cover some cost gaps, I've started selling off some of my stuff online. It was just me here, and I decided that the Spartan lifestyle would have to work for now. Anything I could fetch a decent amount for went up for sale. My apartment is so empty now every noise causes an echo.
Before my shift at the grocery store, I agreed to meet someone who wanted to take a look at my kitchen table. It was a lovely table – my ex had obsessed over it – but I didn't see a need at the moment. Now that I was a bachelor, my TV trays became my default kitchen tables anyway. I wasn't planning on any dinner parties in the future anyway.
A couple showed up later than they said they would. It was a bored-looking guy and a fastidious young woman. She made friendly small talk as she looked over the table. Her boyfriend (I think) stayed quiet and played bodyguard. I gave him a friendly nod at one point, and he just looked away. She said they'd take it without trying to talk me down. I took the small win.
She asked if I could help carry it down to their truck. I was running late, but feeling helpful, even for a fleeting few seconds, was worth it. Her silent boyfriend and I hauled the table through the hallway and even managed to avoid hitting the walls the entire way down.
I placed it in their truck, got my money, and turned to leave. The girl said thanks, and the boyfriend finally returned the nod. I gave a weird half-wave to them both and started to walk away when I heard the passenger window being rolled down.
"Hey man," the boyfriend said, his voice higher pitched than I thought it would. "What was up with your brother giving us the evil eye in the lobby when we got here?"
I turned around, "Huh? I don't have a brother."
"A cousin then?"
"My family lives about a thousand miles away. What happened in the lobby?"
"A dude that looked just like you was hiding in a dark hallway in the lobby and staring at my girl's ass."
"Jacob, really," she said.
"I'm sorry that happened, but I had nothing to do with it. We do have the occasional homeless guy meander in. Maybe you saw one of them," I said. "Did he say or do anything bad?"
"Jacob, I asked you to not say something," the girl said, burying her head in her hands.
Jacob's frosty attitude to me made sense now. "He said something about running up that ass. I dunno, he was mumbling. I told him I'd beat his ass if he didn't stop staring. Seemed to shut him up."
"Oh. Well, congrats," I said. "I'll tell the manager. Thanks for letting me know."
"You should do a better job keeping jokers like that out of the building."
"Jacob, he's not a security guard."
"He should still be a man and protect his home."
"Have a good night," I said, ending the conversation and heading back up to my apartment. I had about five minutes to change and head out before I'd be late. Last thing my ego needed was to be fired from my backup job.
Thankfully, I was able to slip into work and not get spotted by my boss. That was the last of the good news, though. We had a massive weekly order come in, which meant I'd be there late, plus someone had called out. Worse, our hand truck had a flat tire, and I spent the next few hours torturing my muscles, schlepping heavy boxes around the store. I soldiered on, counting down the minutes until I left and fantasizing about going to bed for the night.
If wishing for sleep wasn't a sad statement to my mental well-being, nothing was.
I came home after my shift at the grocery store and plopped down on the couch. I had contemplated selling it, but it was an older Ikea number, and I didn't think the value would replace my desire to sit. I could feel my body sink into the cushions, and the day's tension seep out. I was beat and tired to the point that turning on the TV was a chore.
I picked up my phone and thought I'd doomscroll until sleep overtook me. I didn't expect it to be a long scroll, as even the methadone that is my phone has failed me lately. As I lowered myself from a slumped position to a supine one, I heard footsteps outside my apartment door. This was not unusual, but the noise I heard sounded like kid footsteps. That was unusual, as nobody on our floor had kids, and it was almost midnight.
Despite my body screaming at me to not move, my brain suggested I check it out. I rolled myself off the couch and eventually stood up. I listened again and heard the kid running down the hallway. I walked over to my door and looked out the peephole. I didn't see anyone.
"Maybe I'm dreaming," I said to myself. "Maybe I'm not staring out a peephole, expecting to see a kid running down the hall at midnight, but instead, I'm cuddled up in my bed, snoozing." I pinched my arm and felt the pain. I was definitely in the waking world.
I turned to head back to the couch when I heard the running again, this time louder. I opened my door and peeked out into the hallway. Nobody was there. The door from the apartment across me opened up, too. Gloria, a young at heart grandma who was friendly/constantly buzzed in a wine mom kind of way, gave me a once over.
"You heard that, too?" she asked.
"Kids?"
"No rugrats around. I assumed it was some drunk assholes stumbling home from the bar."
I laughed. Gloria was, as always, blunt. "I didn't see any assholes," I said.
"Then you're not watching the right kind of internet videos," she said with a wink and a hoarse cackle.
I blushed. How do you respond to that? I just kind of nodded in agreement and shrugged.
"Gotta get your jollies while you can," she said before adding, "You need some rest, dear. You look like hammered shit." She shut her door and went back inside.
She was right. I felt like hammered shit. Since I wasn't going to solve the case of the mysterious runner and was sure it wasn't some lost kid, I decided to call it a night. I went back inside, shut down the apartment, and crawled into bed.
I thought about watching one of the "right kind of internet videos" but fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
***
"Your problem is you think the world owes you something."
John, my elderly coworker at the grocery store, was standing by while I unloaded a pallet of cereal. I liked John, and when I first started, we instantly clicked. He's quick with a joke and fun to talk to. He's also about thirty years older than me and speaks with the Boomer combination of accumulated wisdom, backhanded compliments, and fringe conspiracy nonsense. Still, regardless of how couched the kindness is in gobbledygook, he's usually coming from a good place.
"What?" I said, putting a box of Captain Crunch on the shelf.
"You're complaining about your situation, right? Saying it ain't fair. The world took a paddle to your hind quarters? Hey brother, that's the way the cookie crumbles. Gotta just pick yourself up and start over. You're smart enough – figured this job out right quick – you can do it."
The job was wheeling pallets around the store and stocking shelves. It wasn't much to figure out, but I understood his meaning. The other stuff wasn't necessary, though. "I'm just in a funk. I don't see a way forward."
"Hey, so you've bottomed out. No shame in that. Happens to us all. Silver lining, you can only go up," he said before adding, "Unless some other bad shit happens to you like your car dies or your apartment building burns down. But after that, it's only up."
"The apartment building burning down would be a blessing," I said, hoisting another little Captain on the shelf. "The rent is killing me."
"Have you tried negotiating a lower rent? They used to do that when I was your age."
"I think they'd evict me if I even asked."
"Hell, then you'd have at least thirty days, maybe forty, before they'd kick you out. Plenty of time to turn things around."
"Uh-huh," I said, "Any chance you could give me a hand here?"
"My back is screaming like a pretty young thing after prom," he said, holding his back for emphasis.
I didn't push. "Hey, I meant to tell you about some weird shit that happened the other night."
"Lay it on me. I love the strange."
"So, after my shift the other day, I got home around midnight and was flopped on the couch. I heard someone running down the hallway outside my apartment. I wasn't the only one. A few other neighbors heard it, too. When we checked, though, nobody was there."
"That ain't strange," John said, waving his hand, "that's a man who's plowing another man's wife running for his life."
I laughed. "That's not the weird part. So, for the next two nights, it's the same thing. Around midnight, someone runs down the hallway. Only this time, they're trying the door handles as they pass. So, I asked the front desk to check the security cameras, and they do."
"They see a man running away holding his clothes?"
"There wasn't anyone running down the hall," I said, "But the weird thing was, you could see the door handles turning on the video."
"Damn, that's a good one," John said, "You sure it wasn't just a camera glitch. These new ones from overseas aren't as reliable as they want you to think. Chinese probably using them to spy on you, too."
He continued as my brain tried to reconcile John's two opposing comments. "Weird shit happens at night, man. Before working here, I only worked the day shift. Even when they offered me more money to work nights, I turned it down. Even when they promised me a promotion, I turned them down."
In a previous life, John had worked as a paramedic. He came by it after serving in a medical unit in the army. He'd told me he loved the rush of the job, but after a while, the death and hurt in people's eyes got to be too much to handle. But he worked there for almost twenty years. So, the man had a tolerance for shenanigans and odd occurrences.
"Why'd you agree to work nights here?"
"Shit, we're home before the witching hour. This is like late afternoons, at best. But if it was overnights, hell no. Captain Crunch can anchor his own ship to the shelves. I'd take my ass to 7-11 for a day shift before agreeing to work an overnight."
"Something happen to you during the army?”
“I got the clap,” he offered.
I sighed. “What turned you off nights?"
"Oh. I heard enough stories from coworkers to know I didn't want to experience any of that hoo-doo shit," he said, "trying to save someone's life is hard enough without adding in demon kids and ghosts."
"Did your coworkers see demon kids?" I asked, moving on from the good Captain to the Trix rabbit.
He nodded, "They saw too much. I find it odd, even with all the surveillance we have now and all the science we know about these days, that the night still scares us. You ever know someone who worked a night shift?"
I had. My ex. During college, she worked the overnight desk at a hotel for a while. She quit because the job gave her bad vibes. I told John as much.
He pointed and laughed, "See! Don't you find it odd that every person who works at night always has a story of something eerie happening to them? Every person, buster. That's what they call an irrefutable fact."
"Maybe the ghost running down the hallway is an old employee still doing his rounds."
"In that case, keep that door double locked. I'd even wedge a towel under the door just in case."
"Maybe they're friendly? Casper-like in that way."
"You ever heard someone tell you about a friendly ghost outside the funny papers?"
"I'm sure it happens," I said, "The scary ghosts are more popular though."
“We think we know everything there is to know but we are just babes in the woods when it comes to night things.” John shook his head. "Imma tell you one or three things that happened to a guy I worked with back when I first got hired on to chase after corpses in the ambo. Guy's name was Gil. Quiet man, kept to himself. Didn't rock the boat or demand a bigger paddle. Just rowed with us. Good cat to learn under," John said, finally handing me a cereal box.
I took it, and he kept going, "Now, Gil, ya see, he had a little wifey that would pester him about working days. She was a cop and worked evenings at that time, so they never saw each other. When married people can't align their genitals every now and then, it spells doom."
"A little too much information but sure," I said, shelving another box of Trix.
"Probably part of what happened with you and yours," he said. He wasn't wrong, but that didn't mean I wanted to hear it.
John kept on, "Gil finally got approved to move to nights. Little pay boost and a happy, 'fulfilled' wife should've made that man happy. But it didn't. I saw him a few months later, and he had changed. He might've been quiet when he was working with me, but he'd talk to you if you engaged. When I saw him that time, though, oh boy. He looked sick."
"Wasn't a fan of working nights?"
"Wasn't a fan of living anymore is the feeling I got," John said, "After some prodding, he got to talking with me some. Told me he missed days because the nights were messing with him. I thought it had to do with the schedule change, but that wasn't the case. He said he saw things in the dark he couldn't explain. Things that would turn James Brown into James White, ya dig?"
"I...dig," I said.
"Told me they got a call to an abandoned apartment building one night, around three in the morning. Wasn't unusual. Old buildings in the city are where hop-heads congregate and share drugs. Sometimes, the drugs are too much. Sometimes, they find a person passed out or, worse, dead. When you work in the ambo, you aren't scared of death like a civilian. You've been around it. Probably seen a few folks take their last breaths. It doesn't bother you the way Mother Nature intended it should."
He handed me another box, continuing his assist streak, and kept going, "Ambo pulled up, Gil stepped out and looked for someone to talk to. Nobody there, though. Not uncommon. Some people want to help but not be involved. There's not a soul around. He calls out, but nothing comes back. Tells me he turns to get back in the ambulance when he hears a scream from inside the run-down building. They're calling for help. He's gotta go in the abandoned building in the dark."
"No thanks," I said.
"But it don't bother a medic like that. Gil's done a million of these calls. No big deal. He runs into that building but doesn't come back out until twenty minutes later. Just goes missing. After five, the crew heads in to back him up but can't find him. Gil tells me his crew called the cops. It was like he had vanished."
"What happened?"
"I asked him and he got real quiet. Said he fell into some place that looked like here but wasn't here. Said he felt their eyes on him. Judging him. Told me they followed him home and wouldn't leave him be."
"Who?"
John shrugged, "He didn't say. Shut down after that and left. Just walked past me like I was shit on the sidewalk. He quit about a week later. Heard he had a stroke a year later and was a tombstone owner three months after that. Good guy, though."
"Your aversion to overnights makes a little more sense."
"Never in a million years. You don't want something like that coming after you."
"In my case, could it get much worse?" I said with a half-smile.
"Man, I wouldn't even joke about that," he said, making the sign of the cross, "You don't want that shit attachin' itself to you. With your luck, you'd bring him in here, and it'd hop over to me. I can't have a ghost crimping my style."
After a bit, he got called away to sign off on a delivery. I finished out my shift and headed out to the parking lot. When I exited the building and spotted my car, I froze. My doors were all open, and the interior lights were on. Someone had broken in.
I glanced around the lot to see if the thief was still around, but there wasn't another person near me. I walked over to the car and peered inside. My glovebox had been ripped open, and my registration was pulled out, but nothing else was missing.
I found little hand prints in the dirt all along the body and the windows. I held mine up for comparison, and they were about half the size. It must've been some tweens or teens who did this. Maybe they were going to steal some things and got cold feet. I contemplated calling the cops, but since nothing had happened and they wouldn't do anything anyway, there was no reason to delay sleep any longer than I had to. I closed all the doors and climbed inside.
I started the car and heard something rattling in the AC vents. I pulled out my phone and shined the light at the vent. There was a small piece of paper inside. I looked around my car for some tool to pull it out and only found an ink pen and a bent-up paperclip. After McGuyvering the vent for a bit, the paper finally came out.
I held it up and unfolded it. There was a handwritten note. It simply read, "I know you're here. I know you're hiding him. I will find you both, and then it'll be your turn to run the race. We all have to run at some point."
I had no idea what that meant, but my body still provided goosebumps. Who was trying to find me? Who was the second person? Why leave a note in my AC vent? What the hell did run the race mean? I hadn't run a race since elementary school and wasn't planning to do so any time soon. Did they mean the rat race? Because I was basically marathoning that motherfucker already.
"Jesus Christ," I said, shaking my head. "What else, universe?"
As if it were a well-practiced comedy routine, the universe responded. My back passenger door swung open, and I heard footsteps running away from my car. I sprung up and scrambled to get out. There wasn't anyone else in the lot that I could see, but very clearly, someone had been hiding in my backseat.
My nerves were shot already, and this was not something I wanted to deal with at the moment. My brain decided that to avoid a breakdown, I needed to shift into automatic mode and just get back to the safety of my apartment. I'd be more prepared to deal with this – whatever it was – in the morning.
Either that or I'd jump in front of a bus. Both sounded satisfying, albeit in different ways.
***
"There he is," Gloria said as soon as I turned down the hallway. I looked up and noticed a small cabal of my neighbors standing in a semi-circle, waiting for me. They all look displeased.
"Hey guys," I said, confused. "I miss an invite for a block party?"
"What do you have to say for yourself?"
"About?"
"Don't play dumb," another neighbor said, jabbing their finger in my direction.
"I'm not playing," I said, realizing the self-burn only after the words escaped my lips.
Gloria showed me the screen on her phone. It was a static shot of her door from across the hall. She pressed play, and nothing happened for a beat until something darted across the screen. That was the whole thing. I looked up at her, my face twisted up in confusion.
"Well," she said, "What do you have to say?"
"What was that?" I asked.
"That was you!" the pointing neighbor said, pointing harder than I thought possible.
"What?" I said, laughing. "Are you all serious?" They didn't laugh, and I realized they weren't joking. "How can you even tell it's me? It's a blur. Never mind the fact I've been at work for the last five hours. Plus, this blur is half my size. I get we're all weirded out about the Phantom Runner, but it's not me. I swear to God. I don't even have the energy to think about running, let alone the physical desire to."
"Then explain this," Gloria said, slightly swaying from the half bottle of Pinot Noir coursing through her blood. She rewound the video and froze it on a specific frame. I couldn't believe my eyes, but I was looking at...me. Or, rather, something pretending to be me.
"What the fuck?" I said, my jaw dropping.
"Still think we're lying?" the pointer said smugly.
"No, but, guys, this isn't me. I... I've been at work. Wanna see my schedule?"
I reached into my phone and pulled it out. There was an email with my work schedule that confirmed what I was saying. They relaxed, and, for the first time, anger gave way to fear. Their very plausible explanation was suddenly invalid. It left two implausible answers floating in the ether: either I had a pint-sized doppelganger terrorizing the hallways of my apartment, or a ghost was haunting the building.
"I'm...gonna go inside," the pointer said, walking back to their home. Everyone else drifted away until it was just Gloria and I standing alone in the hallway.
She looked at me and sighed, "I feel like an asshole," she said. "Sorry I accused you of causing the racket."
"If I had seen the video, I would've thought the same thing," I said. "We're good."
"What do you think it is?" she asked.
I shrugged and let out an exhausted sigh. "Honestly, Gloria, I've had a screwed-up night already, and this is the cherry on top of the shit sundae; forgive my language. I don't have the mental bandwidth to even comprehend what's on the video at the moment."
"Think it's after you?" she asked, though I suspected the wine had forced her to put that idea out into the universe. As I had already seen, the universe seemed to take requests on my behalf.
"Maybe it's after you?" I said, coming off a little meaner than I intended, but I didn't care. I left her there to contemplate that scenario and went into my apartment.
As soon as the door shut behind me, I felt on edge. Just because I didn't have the mental bandwidth to discuss the doppelganger didn't mean it wasn't dominating my thoughts. I saw the frame of the video. The damn ghost looked exactly like me. What could that possibly mean? I know I had wished for death, but I was very still alive. I had rent due to prove that.
Did I happen to live in a place haunted by a ghost that looked strikingly like me? Was it some kid with a passing resemblance just causing chaos? Was it something else I couldn't even comprehend – an alien? A clone? A secret government project?
There was a thumping coming from the hallway. The mini Usain Bolt was at it again. I knew the neighbors would ignore it. Since they had all thought it was me, which was proven to be untrue, they would avoid the running man from now on. While curious and confused by the creature, they'd never put themselves in harm's way to discover what it was. They were not a brave lot.
Neither was I, but maybe my life crumbling around me had forced my hand. I walked over to my door and swung it open. I hit record on my phone, stuck it out like a periscope, and glanced around the hallway. Nobody was there. No neighbors were looking. No person was running.
"You gotta stop, man. I need to go to sleep," I said to the empty space. No response, not that I was expecting one.
I turned to walk back in, and I caught something out of the corner of my eye. A face at the end of the hallway peeked around the corner. For a quick second, we locked eyes, and it was like I was looking into a mirror. This thing was me. But...how?
I tried to get it on video, but it ducked back into the shadows. I took that as a cue to shut and lock my door. My heart was racing, and I didn't want to think about this anymore, but I couldn't help it. There was a me in the hallway who enjoyed pestering my neighbors. Worse, they liked to run for some ungodly reason.
I put my phone on the counter, the video still rolling, when there was a knock at my door. It echoed in my near-empty apartment. I tried to ignore it and convince myself it was something else, but it wasn't. The ghost was knocking on my door. Even with my brain paralyzed, I couldn't help but think that it was awfully polite to knock.
Another knock, this one more forceful. I wondered if the neighbors thought I was making this up?
"I know you're in there," a voice said. It sounded just like me. "This is about the race. We all have to run the race. It's your turn now."
I froze. My legs went wobbly like a boxer on the brink of a blackout, but I stayed tall. I opened my mouth to speak and found the words dying in my throat. I grabbed a nearby bottle of water and took a chug.
"We all have to run the race."
"What race?" I choked out, "What are you talking about?"
"Open up. They're in there already, and I need to get them."
I glanced all around my empty apartment. I didn't see anyone else in here. I didn't hear anything. Whatever this thing was, it was lying. I grabbed my phone and held it in my hand. I wanted to document this to prove that I wasn't crazy.
“Did you leave the note?”
“I know they’re in there with you,” it repeated.
"There's no one in here," I said.
"They're hiding. I think I know where. I can hear them."
"You've gotta get out of here," I said. "There's nothing here, and you're scaring people."
"I'm scared, and you should be! You have to run the race, man! Open up, and I can show you."
The handle started to shake. I peered through the keyhole and only saw the top of the other me's head. They began to shoulder the door, and it crunched against my nose. I screamed out in pain and stumbled back. I tripped over my feet and landed hard on my ass.
The thing slammed into the door two more times, shaking the walls. The strength seemed unnatural. On the third hit, the door burst open. I finally got a view of the thing. It was me. Scaled down by half, but it was me. We both seemed shocked.
"You're so much taller up close," the other me said.
"Who the fuck are you?"
I felt a buzzing in my feet that seemed to climb up my body until it reached my brain. There was an intense pain that rippled through the folds of my mind. Through the pain, I could hear a disembodied voice whisper, "We all must run the race. We all have to run. Chase it. Chase yourself." It felt like my skull was going to split in two. I clutched the sides of my head and let out a primal scream that hurt my own ears.
Then it was gone. But I could still feel the echoes in my mind. "We all have to run the race. We all have to run." The thought would waver between making no sense and making complete sense. One second, I was questioning what was happening to my mind, and the next, all I felt was the desire to continue the race.
"There he is!" the other me yelled, pointing at the hallway.
I glanced over and saw another version of me standing in the hallway. It was half the size of the other me that had broken into my place. When tiny me locked eyes with my intruder, he ran for the open hallway closet.
The other me followed, screaming that it would catch the little bastard if it was the last thing he'd do. I pushed myself up to my feet and felt queasy. I watched as the other me ran head-first into the closet without slowing. I expected to hear a loud thump as it hit the back wall but none came.
"We all have to run the race," the voice in my head said, soothing my nerves. "It's your time to run the race."
I moved down the hallway, each footfall echoing loudly in the empty apartment, each step bringing me closer to the closet door. Something was drawing me there. The voice's words echoed in my mind as well: "We all have to run the race. It's your turn now."
I grabbed the door and stopped. Something was compelling me to move forward. To go into the closet. To chase myself. To run the race.
"No," I whispered and yanked my hand from the door. I pulled out my still recording phone, and stared into the camera. My face was devoid of color, and you could see the fear etched into me. "I'm freaking out because...because…"
I stopped. I felt an invisible hand grab my body and tug. "Because...because if I don't run the race, something bad will happen. I have to chase it. I...I have to."
My phone dropped from my hand, and I didn’t care. The force pulling me forward stopped but my body kept going. I could feel the last strands of my rational mind splintering. My thoughts became focused on one thing: I had to catch myself, find out what was happening, and run the race. If I ran, maybe I'd win.
I needed a win.
I walked into the back of the closet and felt a door handle sticking out of the wall. I'd been in that closet a million times before and never had seen this. But a sense of calm washed over me. This….this was supposed to be here. This was perfectly fine.
I turned the handle and pulled open the invisible door. In front of me was a hallway that looked strikingly like the one outside my apartment. At the end of the hallway, I saw Gloria step out of their home to leave for the night. She was huge. Twice my size, easy.
Another door opened, and I saw...me—a giant version of me. The Hulk version of me was getting ready to go to the grocery store for work. I watched as the giant Gloria and giant me joked and laughed. I was stunned.
I stared, and a new thought came to me. I have to find the smaller me and talk to it. I needed to find out if there's a way out of this...this….
"It's your turn to run," the voice said.
Calm embraced me. "It's my turn to run," I repeated. As the giant me took off and the giant Gloria re-entered her apartment, the hallway beckoned.
"We all have to run the race," I said softly, "It's my turn now."
I started running.

In the past 6 months I challenged my own code style extensively and came up with new personal guidelines on how to write good PLC code.
Most of these are pretty straightforward programming principles that any experienced PLC engineer would support, like modularity, KISS principle or five rung principle
I also came up with some that are way more controversial, but I just think those are best practices.
I am programming exclusively in TIA portal, I have used Rockwell also once and know it has different capabilities.
1st: avoid structured text at all times, only use it for mathemathical calculations. If you have multiple tags in one command, put all of them into new lines for being able to properly debug.
2nd: Make all sequences in GRAPH. That way you have the sequence diagram always up to date
3rd: do not use InOut tags. I know that has been best practice for speed, but debugging large code without being able to properly cross reference is horrible.
4th: no abbreviations, except the absolutely most common like ERR, ES, i,o
What do you guys think about these? I know they are not considered best practice at the moment, but I also feel that the best PLC engineers are often really bad at writing clean code and its super frustrating at our company.

So I'm still relatively fresh, and am in need of help. I've been saving images and using them sort of as bookmarks; When I want to generate similar content, I use the PNG Info tab of A1111 to reload the same settings. Previously, if I were to generate using the same exact prompts and the same exact seed, I'd get the same result. However, recently, I've been getting different results for certain images. The vast majority of images I saved stay exactly the same as their original when I try to generate them again, while others are only roughly 70 to 95% the same. This has produced some results that were actually better than their predecessors (sometimes by large margins), but also a slight decline in quality in others.
I'm a little confused as to how this has happened, and was hoping someone could enlighten me. The VAE has been manually selected and hasn't been changed at all. The Extra tick box next to the seed remains unticked. Lots of similar posts on the topic mention xformers, but I'm not using it to begin with. I'm still using the same version of A1111 and don't have any form of auto-update enabled.
The only things I've touched and changed have been the following:

• Downloaded some new LoRAs (none of them used in any of the images I'm attempt to recreate)
• Added a description to a LoRA (again, not used for any of the images)
• Saved a couple prompts I commonly use as styles (the common negatives I used for the images I've tried to recreate were included in one of these styles, but notably
• Accidentally hit the last prompt button (the button with the blue sign with the down arrow below the Generate button)

I tried to revert all of these things in hopes it'd change something, even though that wouldn't make much sense, but it hasn't helped at all. Is it possible something changed on its own? Or is there a different explanation?

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