I used to go to mainstream school, mostly full time but I would sometimes get unwell (aka burnout) and spend a week in my room. I was academically and socially doing okay until the last two years, where I started isolating myself and did worse than expected in my exams. I liked the school environment because I could look to what my peers were doing and copy that, and often tasks were introduced with lots of detail + there was a clear person to ask if I didn't understand what I was meant to do.
I moved away for university but I began to shake every time I went outside. Sometimes I would get overwhelmed and spend two days in my room with nothing to eat or drink, in silence, ppl thought I had gone away for the weekend. I dropped out and went back to the family home where I was unwell for a while.
I finished my degree with distance learning. I then tried to get a masters degree via distance learning but ended up dropping out after panicking over an essay I didn't have the mental energy to do (I had just moved) and a presentation I felt went badly (I have no proof it went badly, I just felt terrified).
I struggle with personal hygiene and with keeping the house clean, I have low energy and am easily confused.
I have had a few freelance bits of work, based from home, but found them very panicky and struggled with the admin (I think I didn't send a solid 1/3rd of my invoices), I also struggled with keeping track of time and returning emails (or knowing what was expected of me). I crashed out of those after about ~6 weeks maximum, despite finding the topic interesting.
I can hold conversations in person p successfully as long as I'm not confused, in which case I freeze up.
I am creative and I know a little about how to do successful applications for arts projects. I want to apply for several schemes which aren't currently open but I'm scared that a) I won't get them or b) I will crash out of them. I got on a training scheme a few months back, the interview went very well and they knew I was autistic, but I didn't understand what I was meant to be doing and dropped out almost immediately bc it was a small company and I felt so embarrassed that I was already confused and that I would be burdening them if they had to start making documents specifically for me.
My perception of myself is that I panic and get overwhelmed and crash out of everything. I don't know what to do.
Perhaps I can sell art or do one-time commissions?
I am just so socially afraid now, there's only like one person I consistently reply to and even then its 50/50.
I don't know. Is this relatable and if so has anyone moved past this or should I be focusing my energy on attempting to get more support for my disability?

I tried to log into the website using the info I have, but I get a message telling me that is not the info they have. What?? So I checked the info and tried again. I even copied and pasted the info to prevent typos. I tried getting a temp password that they sent to me. The site wouldn't even accept that. I tried my user name, and my email. Now I am locked out. That was yesterday. I tried again this morning. Still locked out. How long until I can get back in to try again?

For a while now, my PC has sometimes frozen during boot-up for windows 11. It’s always on the loading symbol or the "Preparing Automatic Repair" screen. Usually, I would just restart it, and after 1 or 2 tries, it would boot up and work with no issues.
Then, about 2 days ago, I tried to play Overwatch (which I had no issues with the day before), and my game crashed, mentioning an issue about graphics card drivers. So, I updated my drivers through GeForce Experience and tried to get back on. This time, it crashed my whole PC. After that, I tried to get back into Windows, but it wouldn’t let me, except for a handful of times before crashing again.
After turning it off a few times, I made it to the Windows repair screen and chose "Reinstall Windows but keep personal files." After that didn’t work, I did it again and chose "Delete personal files." Then it froze while reinstalling Windows, so I turned it off and on again. It ended up taking me to Windows before crashing more. Then, I couldn’t even get into Windows, and every time I turned it on, I got a blue screen or the frozen spinning circle.
I got into the BIOS and tried to do a new Windows install with a USB, but I couldn’t get past the frozen loading screen. Then, I factory reset the motherboard using JBAT1. After doing that, I finally got into Windows on the first try, and everything seemed normal.
I then ran a memory scan, and the PC restarted to do it. It got to about 7 percent done and froze, so I had to turn it off and on again. Now, it’s freezing on the same screens again. Before it froze on the test, it had a note saying something along the lines of problem detected, contact manufacturer.
Does anyone know how to fix this or what could be wrong?

Hi all,
For the past 2 days I've been trying to download SQL server, I tried docker and even parallels. No luck, just tons of issues.
What is the easiest way to get access to it or at this point any database to practice my sql. Is there a website or something where I don't have to deal with any of the downloads?
It's been hell trying to figure out ways to download these on my Mac.
Thanks again!
P.S.
I would prefer an actual database on my mac, but it just seems like a lot of issues.

Hey people! I have been thinking a lot as to what my first project in programming should be and I have recently gotten an idea that might just suffice. The project would be an easily accessible database of useful websites (e.g. python articles sorted by topic / knowledge level) using python as the main language. I am hoping to create an ai - renewed database of websites with easy access to it via a bit of code to search through it. The most problematic part would be to make an ai that could, in theory, search up "keywords" or some pattern that would bring up websites in a search engine, then access the website, figure out whether the website page is following on a requested topic, copy and return as a result its' URL. Could it be, in theory, possible to create such a program? I am still not very educated when it comes to AI - related stuff, so feel free to make an absolute fool of me in the comments, or just leave nothing, I guess. Anything remotely close to this has not been covered anywhere i searched (or I may be blind - just send me the thread where someone says its not efficient at all). I would very likely need to learn a lot of stuff for that, but I have the whole summer to create a prototype for project defense so at least tell me if it is worth the time, that will be the end of my Ted talk

Hello,
Feeling frustrated - I must have sent out about 400 messages over the past week on messenger (my business page to their business page) and Instagram, offering a website redesign for free to people who have clearly got a dated website.
Not even a peep! I'm wondering if my messages are even being delivered? I looked on the meta business app at "messages" and each message just has a single "check" outline.
Anyone else had much success here?
Starting to think going back to LinkedIn is the best way.
Thanks.

For a while now, my PC has sometimes frozen during boot-up for windows 11. It’s always on the loading symbol or the "Preparing Automatic Repair" screen. Usually, I would just restart it, and after 1 or 2 tries, it would boot up and work with no issues.
Then, about 2 days ago, I tried to play Overwatch (which I had no issues with the day before), and my game crashed, mentioning an issue about graphics card drivers. So, I updated my drivers through GeForce Experience and tried to get back on. This time, it crashed my whole PC. After that, I tried to get back into Windows, but it wouldn’t let me, except for a handful of times before crashing again.
After turning it off a few times, I made it to the Windows repair screen and chose "Reinstall Windows but keep personal files." After that didn’t work, I did it again and chose "Delete personal files." Then it froze while reinstalling Windows, so I turned it off and on again. It ended up taking me to Windows before crashing more. Then, I couldn’t even get into Windows, and every time I turned it on, I got a blue screen or the frozen spinning circle.
I got into the BIOS and tried to do a new Windows install with a USB, but I couldn’t get past the frozen loading screen. Then, I factory reset the motherboard using JBAT1. After doing that, I finally got into Windows on the first try, and everything seemed normal.
I then ran a memory scan, and the PC restarted to do it. It got to about 7 percent done and froze, so I had to turn it off and on again. Now, it’s freezing on the same screens again. Before it froze on the test, it had a note saying something along the lines of problem detected, contact manufacturer.
Does anyone know how to fix this or what could be wrong?

1️⃣ Canva: No need to explain. Make your designs easily. The best tool for non-designers as well as designers.
2️⃣ Looka: One of the finest AI websites. It can help you generate your logo in seconds.
3️⃣ Refrens: Don’t know where to get invoices to send to your clients? Use Refrens. It has wonderful premade invoice templates.
4️⃣ Copy AI: Struggling to write an effective copy for your content? Here’s your copywriter friend.
5️⃣ Notion: Well, I have been using Notion for a long time for planning and managing every task. It’s simple to use.
6️⃣ ChatGPT: The best AI website in this era for content research and ideas. It’ll solve anything in seconds.
7️⃣ Gumroad: Are you planning to sell your digital products like courses or anything? Must try this one.
8️⃣ Durable: This AI tool can create your website in seconds. Check this out!
9️⃣ CapCut: Engaging video editing with an easy-to-use interface. (I edit my videos using this one)
📌 Yes, you can start from ZERO ‘0’ (If you have these resources) SAVE it! 💾

Entrepreneur #BusinessTools #AI #Productivity #Marketing #StartUp

This year, money has been moving into copper as part of the continuum of the process that results in power generation.
And the demand for power generation is growing because of all the energy needed for data centers, where artificial intelligence applications are trained and live.
Getting power to where it needs to be requires generators, transmission lines, transformers, switches, regulators, and and various measuring devices, and that means miles and miles of wiring connecting everything together.
Canterra drills 28 m of 1.19 g/t Au at Lemarchant
Canterra Minerals Corp. results @ Lemarchant project in central Newfoundland, Canada. The program was designed to test multiple target areas within and adjacent to the Lemarchant volcanogenic massive sulfide ("VMS") deposit, including geological and geophysical targets, as well as further define and upgrade existing resources
Drill Highlights:

• 1.19 g/t Au, 67.9 g/t Ag, 5.42 per cent Zn, 0.48 per cent Cu, and 1.33 per cent Pb over 28.00 m in hole LM-24-164
  • Including 1.56 g/t Au, 52.3 g/t Ag, 10.59 per cent Zn, 0.66 per cent Cu, and 2.37 per cent Pb over 9.50 m
• 2.86 per cent Cu, 0.03 per cent Zn, 0.06 g/t Au, and 6.2 g/t Ag over 1.37 m in hole LM-24-165
  • Including 4.25 per cent Cu, 0.04 per cent Zn, 0.07 g/t Au, and 8.9 g/t Ag over 0.87 m

About Canterra MineralsCanterra Minerals is a diversified minerals exploration company with a focus on critical minerals in central Newfoundland. Canterra's projects include seven mineral deposits located in close proximity to the world-renowned, past producing ASARCO Buchans mine and Teck Resources' former past producing Duck Pond mine that produced copper, zinc, lead, silver and gold. Each of Canterra's deposits supports historical Mineral Resource Estimates prepared in accordance with National Instrument 43-101 and the Canadian Institute of Mining, Metallurgy, and Petroleum Definition Standards for Mineral Resources and Mineral Reserves current at their respective effective dates (collectively the "Historical Resource Estimates").
All of Canterra's Historical Resource Estimates are deemed historical as they were prepared prior to their acquisition by Canterra. Canterra is not treating its Historical Resource Estimates as current Mineral Resources and a Qualified Person has not done sufficient work to classify the Historical Resource Estimates as current Mineral Resources. References for each historical Mineral Resource Estimate that comprise Canterra's Historical Resource Estimates and their associated Technical Reports can be found on Canterra's website. Canterra also holds exploration-stage gold properties that cover 70 km of strike of the regional gold-bearing Rogerson Lake structural corridor that hosts Calibre Mining Corporation's development stage Valentine Gold Mine. Canterra's Newfoundland gold projects have been subject to four drilling campaigns, demonstrating many gold occurrences warranting further exploration.

Hi, I’m a US citizen. My daughter was recently born in Argentina. I submitted the eCRBA application with payment mid-April and emailed the address indicated on the application to schedule an appointment. They emailed me back and said they would be sending a team to Mendoza (where my wife and I are currently living) in the beginning of June and that they would be in touch to set up an appointment. It’s now just about 2 weeks from the date they indicated and I haven’t heard anything and they’re not responding to emails (though they had replied to questions in the past).
Any idea how to actually talk to a human from the embassy in Buenos Aires? I tried calling previously but just get automated responses regarding the CRBA and to go to the website, etc.
I leave to go back to the US for several months soon and am desperately trying to have this interview happen before I leave Argentina. Any advice is appreciated.

I have been off work for 9 months with some cognitive issues that have made it very difficult to do my job in Finance. Past 4 months been on LTD. Been waiting for a Neuropsychological Assessment, which I've had recently. In order to get this assessment done sooner (only wait months, instead of years) I paid for the assessment out of pocket. Because I paid out of pocket, and it's regarding my health, I'm considering it MY private info . My LTD provider has asked for a copy. Do I have to give them a copy of the full report, would a summary do? Do I also have to provide a copy to my employer? Can anyone provide clarity on who I am required to share the assessment report with?

rust-analyzer's quick start for eglot does weird things to the code: https://rust-analyzer.github.io/manual.html#eglot
Now, I can't copy and paste the code out of my editor, b/c it's invalid or at least not-rust code. How do I turn off this weird text it inserts? gcd(a: b, b: a % b)
Before

fn gcd(a: u32, b: u32) -> u32 { if b > 0 { gcd(b, a % b) } else { a } } 

After

fn gcd(a: u32, b: u32) -> u32 { if b > 0 { gcd(a: b, b: a % b) } else { a } } 

More of a rant than a question!! But the last week or so, the number of CoPilot 'chat turns' has gone from 1 of 30 which was brilliant back to 1 of 5 which is quite frankly absolutely pointless to use in a productive conversation to a project that needs more than just a quite answer!!
In my case, I'm creating images, then I'm trying to flesh out narratives for my images for a storyline. Bing CoPilot being pretty useless, 9 times out of 10 with answers, by the time you've reached 5 of 5 trying to clarify what you want, your chat is now over... so then you now have to start all over again, copying and pasting key points from the closed chat into a new chat topic to carry on where you left off!!! How is this anyway helpful. its frustrating and a terrible feature of Bing CoPilot.
It took me 10 chats x 1 of 5 (copying and pasting 9 chats worth of conversation into the final chat of key information just to get a 4 paragraph blurb narrative I needed. Several hours later!!
Sort it out!!! Ugh.

Hello everyone! For several years I have rather (in)famously considered myself a lectopriest of my patron, Setesh. This is a role I carried with great honor, but perhaps also to great detriment. You see, one piece of ancient wisdom I chose to ignore was that priesthood was not a 24/7, lifelong role played by individuals. Indeed back then one would only be a priest for a few weeks or months before the off season. With so few people willing to take such roles in modern society, staying in it for several years makes some semblance of sense, but I think to continue would benefit neither others nor, more importantly, myself.
You see, I have noticed, and have had pointed out by people I truly respect and trust, several problems in myself that were either created or (more often) worsened by priesthood, without my own realization until now. For instance one thing which was called out is the responsibility I feel to “correct” others when their views/understanding/etc do not match my own, like pushing the differentiations between historical Egyptian religion as opposed to new ageism (I originally wrote “new age nonsense” which proves my point that this role has led me against pluralism). Or feeling the need to write and read constantly about topics beyond the point of exhaustion when, at best, maybe 5 people even care for that level of information and effort. Or simply an overinflated sense of worth for my own path and knowledge, which directly opposes my more recent attempts at pluralism, such as portraying Kemeticism as good and new ageism as bad, when I know deep down and full well that this is an ignorant and arrogant misunderstanding of the situation, and one is simply good/bad for myself, not for all.
When I reached out to Kemetic last year to clear my name after being mistaken for a Satanist/ToS member, my main argument was that I feel compelled and driven to share knowledge of Setesh and Kemeticism, to correct what I see as ignorance and take at least partial responsibility for the spiritual development of others. That… doesn't fit with my philosophy or metaphysics at all though. I was reminded as recently as yesterday that this is literally not my responsibility, that I’ve basically taken my social work background and applied it to Kemeticism or even the LHP. I hated social work and left for all these same reasons: systems in place limit how much you can help, people don’t even actually want help, and why am I responsible for the lives of others? Perhaps most importantly, is my way even actually better or just working for me and I am causing more harm than good pushing it on others? I cannot help but feel it is almost part of a subconscious masochism those who also have mental illness are likely familiar with, an unconscious drive to put yourself in situations that will only frustrate you and make you sad. And I have to say, I HATE the subconscious for reasons just like this.
Hell, my original goal was to synthesize our knowledge of Setesh into one place in a digestible form, and that project has been completed a few times over, most completely an entire year ago now, my goal is completed and my job is done. I could have spent all this time focusing on the dozens of problems I still have to take care of in my own life and practices, like priesthood was almost a type of deflection and procrastination. I am glad I held the role and helped those who have reached out to let me know, but when we bring it back to my own authentic metaphysical perspective, these are the tiniest drops in a vast, endless ocean. I am glad for and proud of these one-offs, but to chase such one-offs has taken me in the completely wrong direction than intended. And worse it’s had me reading books about priesthood and the like, seeking out dogma of how I “should” or am “suppose to” act as a priest, what duties are required, etc., when this is the type of acceptance of and reliance upon external dogma I abhor and caution against.
My gut reaction was what I used to always do, just leave with my tail between my legs. But upon further reflection I realized I needed to internalize and look inwards in these situations for once, and to practice proper action rather than simply ponder it. To not act like some priest who is initiated into higher mysteries or something, but as just another random person trying to do my best and what I think is right in communities I value. Honestly this is who I would rather be. I will always be Kemetic AND Left Hand Path, always be a child of Setesh, and therefore always be an outsider. Playing the role of a priest (which I will not regret for it led to some of my most useful work and best connections imo) outright contradicts this in so many ways I am honestly a bit embarrassed.
I have quit a lot of things: addictions, websites that were bad for my mental health, negatively reinforcing practices and thoughts, and my new focus is quitting both the social work drive to “fix” things (that often are not even truly “broken”), as well as the arrogance that always crops back up in me to believe that since my way is right for me and has brought me meaning and success, it is not necessarily right for all, maybe even a detriment to them as their path may be to me. My test, as I see it, is not to run away in either anger nor embarrassment, but to face my flaws and actively seek to correct them, such as continuing to engage in forums such as kemetic but as just a guy doing his thing, not the voice of a god, or Kemeticism, or academia, or any such thing.
And to those who helped bring this to my attention again, I thank you. I’ve been told both in friendly and not so friendly ways when dealing with these problems in the past, this most recent being generally friendly. In the past I have been much better about owning my nature as a child of Setesh, and priesthood as I have understood and practiced it is a direct contradiction of that nature. I don’t want to feel this drive to make people think or practice the way I do, nor do I want this drive to act or portray myself a certain way on behalf of others, even my own patron. I mean, one of my greatest magical recommendations is apathy, and I've practiced anything but that.
So today it is in optimism, humility, and hope, not anger, defeat, and arrogance that I step away from the Lector role I've taken, and once again seek to be priest of nothing more than myself and my own way.

​
https://preview.redd.it/9onjcdsg4t1d1.jpg?width=1500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a3eedb5b02534517d65c0889da6296dc5818d15f
Edmonton, Alberta – TheNewswire - May 13, 2024 — Golden Rapture Mining Corporation [CSE:GLDR] (“Golden Rapture” or the “Company”), is pleased to report that its Spring surface sampling program has been completed and that drilling has also just commenced at the Combined Mine area, Phillips Township Property, Rainy River District, NW Ontario.
A total of 61 well-mineralized samples were sent to the Lab last week with assay results pending. These appear to be our best-looking samples to date and our drilling has also just commenced targeting high-grade gold targets.
​
https://preview.redd.it/50pgolye5t1d1.png?width=600&format=png&auto=webp&s=45fa51fb40d6baac1d018c13d70055f5b4870391
https://preview.redd.it/qnavxxye5t1d1.png?width=600&format=png&auto=webp&s=9707a95308a18abe9fbc9027b99a139c35b3ff0f
https://preview.redd.it/8gra4lye5t1d1.png?width=600&format=png&auto=webp&s=61e4f9f1dd62f5989eceec5651b59c11b16c3e55
https://preview.redd.it/q7v3ilye5t1d1.png?width=600&format=png&auto=webp&s=fb9e906b444062a41723bc644098e32f2ce292b5
https://preview.redd.it/nm8nnyye5t1d1.png?width=600&format=png&auto=webp&s=c21ab2b08900c8265bb992d6ca14c57d705d3ddd
Mr. Richard Rivet, CEO of Golden Rapture, commented:
“Golden Rapture is primed for an exciting season of exploration that will target both our high-priority Combined Mine and our Young’s Bay Gold Occurrence with surface sampling programs and drilling of the numerous high-grade drill targets at these two areas of the property.
We expect a stream of upcoming assay results throughout the remainder of the year. So stay tuned for an exciting summer ahead as we seek to uncover our Combined Mine followed by our Young’s Bay Occurrence. Both areas are to be surface sampled and drilled starting now.”
Our priority targets include:
Combined Mine: Of main importance are four (4) main veins (three steeply dipping & one large flat-lying up to 12 meters thick with 762 metres of strike length). It has seven (7) shafts with some drifting with many trenches, pits, and visible gold documented. Recent Golden Rapture sampling results as high as 125.00 g/t Au
Young’s Bay Occurrence: Has six (6) parallel quartz veins, four of which have visible gold with 262 meters in strike length. In 1949, approximately 7.3 tonnes of material was taken from shaft #1 to a depth up to 3.7 meters yielding an astonishing grade of 769.81 g/t Au. Recent Golden Rapture sampling results as high as 204.00 g/t Au.
The property is truly a treasure chest of forgotten golden opportunities hosting an impressive eighteen (18) mine shafts with visible gold having been recorded historically & recently. Of great significance is the fact that the majority of the gold-bearing systems also have parallel systems.
Qualified Person
The technical disclosure in this news release has been reviewed and approved by John Archibald, P.Geo., Qualified Person as defined by National Instrument 43-101 of the Canadian Securities Administrators.
About Golden Rapture Mining
Golden Rapture Mining is a well-funded exploration company engaged in the acquisition, exploration, and development of high-potential assets located in favorable, established Tier 1 mining jurisdictions being the Rainy River and Geraldton areas of NW Ontario, Canada.
Our second property includes the past-producing Hutchison/Maylac Gold Mine located in the Geraldton Gold Camp, Greenstone, NW Ontario. It was one of the richest mines in the area and was mined underground on and off from 1937 to 1947. The highest historical drill intersection included results as high as 24.16 oz/t/gold. The property has only seen shallow drilling and was only mined to a depth of around 400ft and lies in the shadows of the new Greenstone/Equinox Gold Mine. We would entertain a JV with the right partner.
On behalf of the Board
Richard Rivet, Chief Executive Officer
Email: [goldenrapture@outlook.com](mailto:goldenrapture@outlook.com)
Phone: 780-885-9385
For more info please look at our website at https://goldenrapturemining.com/

Hello everyone! For several years I have rather (in)famously considered myself a lectopriest of my patron, Setesh. This is a role I carried with great honor, but perhaps also to great detriment. You see, one piece of ancient wisdom I chose to ignore was that priesthood was not a 24/7, lifelong role played by individuals. Indeed back then one would only be a priest for a few weeks or months before the off season. With so few people willing to take such roles in modern society, staying in it for several years makes some semblance of sense, but I think to continue would benefit neither others nor, more importantly, myself.
You see, I have noticed, and have had pointed out by people I truly respect and trust, several problems in myself that were either created or (more often) worsened by priesthood, without my own realization until now. For instance one thing which was called out is the responsibility I feel to “correct” others when their views/understanding/etc do not match my own, like pushing the differentiations between historical Egyptian religion as opposed to new ageism (I originally wrote “new age nonsense” which proves my point that this role has led me against pluralism). Or feeling the need to write and read constantly about topics beyond the point of exhaustion when, at best, maybe 5 people even care for that level of information and effort. Or simply an overinflated sense of worth for my own path and knowledge, which directly opposes my more recent attempts at pluralism, such as portraying Kemeticism as good and new ageism as bad, when I know deep down and full well that this is an ignorant and arrogant misunderstanding of the situation, and one is simply good/bad for myself, not for all.
When I reached out to Kemetic last year to clear my name after being mistaken for a Satanist/ToS member, my main argument was that I feel compelled and driven to share knowledge of Setesh and Kemeticism, to correct what I see as ignorance and take at least partial responsibility for the spiritual development of others. That… doesn't fit with my philosophy or metaphysics at all though. I was reminded as recently as yesterday that this is literally not my responsibility, that I’ve basically taken my social work background and applied it to Kemeticism or even the LHP. I hated social work and left for all these same reasons: systems in place limit how much you can help, people don’t even actually want help, and why am I responsible for the lives of others? Perhaps most importantly, is my way even actually better or just working for me and I am causing more harm than good pushing it on others? I cannot help but feel it is almost part of a subconscious masochism those who also have mental illness are likely familiar with, an unconscious drive to put yourself in situations that will only frustrate you and make you sad. And I have to say, I HATE the subconscious for reasons just like this.
Hell, my original goal was to synthesize our knowledge of Setesh into one place in a digestible form, and that project has been completed a few times over, most completely an entire year ago now, my goal is completed and my job is done. I could have spent all this time focusing on the dozens of problems I still have to take care of in my own life and practices, like priesthood was almost a type of deflection and procrastination. I am glad I held the role and helped those who have reached out to let me know, but when we bring it back to my own authentic metaphysical perspective, these are the tiniest drops in a vast, endless ocean. I am glad for and proud of these one-offs, but to chase such one-offs has taken me in the completely wrong direction than intended. And worse it’s had me reading books about priesthood and the like, seeking out dogma of how I “should” or am “suppose to” act as a priest, what duties are required, etc., when this is the type of acceptance of and reliance upon external dogma I abhor and caution against.
My gut reaction was what I used to always do, just leave with my tail between my legs. But upon further reflection I realized I needed to internalize and look inwards in these situations for once, and to practice proper action rather than simply ponder it. To not act like some priest who is initiated into higher mysteries or something, but as just another random person trying to do my best and what I think is right in communities I value. Honestly this is who I would rather be. I will always be Kemetic AND Left Hand Path, always be a child of Setesh, and therefore always be an outsider. Playing the role of a priest (which I will not regret for it led to some of my most useful work and best connections imo) outright contradicts this in so many ways I am honestly a bit embarrassed.
I have quit a lot of things: addictions, websites that were bad for my mental health, negatively reinforcing practices and thoughts, and my new focus is quitting both the social work drive to “fix” things (that often are not even truly “broken”), as well as the arrogance that always crops back up in me to believe that since my way is right for me and has brought me meaning and success, it is not necessarily right for all, maybe even a detriment to them as their path may be to me. My test, as I see it, is not to run away in either anger nor embarrassment, but to face my flaws and actively seek to correct them, such as continuing to engage in forums such as kemetic but as just a guy doing his thing, not the voice of a god, or Kemeticism, or academia, or any such thing.
And to those who helped bring this to my attention again, I thank you. I’ve been told both in friendly and not so friendly ways when dealing with these problems in the past, this most recent being generally friendly. In the past I have been much better about owning my nature as a child of Setesh, and priesthood as I have understood and practiced it is a direct contradiction of that nature. I don’t want to feel this drive to make people think or practice the way I do, nor do I want this drive to act or portray myself a certain way on behalf of others, even my own patron. I mean, one of my greatest magical recommendations is apathy, and I've practiced anything but that.
So today it is in optimism, humility, and hope, not anger, defeat, and arrogance that I step away from the Lector role I've taken, and once again seek to be priest of nothing more than myself and my own way.