General
I am looking for a lady between 28 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
I tried to be as concise as possible while still providing what details I think are crucial to know; I realise this post turned out very long, but I prefer those because I can get as good an idea as possible with detailed descriptions, bar actually talking to the person, and find that very valuable, so if that also applies to you, that would be awesome.
Basics
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner (ranging from 5k to full marathon), training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with a fearful avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or in the stadium watching football and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I am looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus (and there have to be at least a couple things we have in common), emotional and sexual compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals (some of which in quite a litteral sense as they make for really amazing pillows) and ideally, you do too.
There is a saying that in every relationship, one person is the stronger one. In the past, I have been with women who obviously were stronger than me, but that doesn't mean they always had to be strong, far from it. I certainly, like I said, need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well – this just to put the picture I'm (somewhat haphazardly) trying to paint into perspective.
Second, sexual compatibility. I have a high libido and I have kinks, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy them together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, sexual fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. Someone on here has coined the term 'filthy best friends and partners' which I have no shame to be stealing because it's such an apt description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. I love the relationship model outlined in Stan Tatkin’s ‘Wired for Love’ and you should, too. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. I know codependency is the latest thing everyone’s afraid of, but experiencing someone you’ve grown very attached to just bailing because they’re counterdependent and can’t stand working on themselves while simultaneously letting you in is something I’d rather not go through again. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere. If you think’s it’s okay to lovebomb someone and then leave after a couple of months with the minimum amount of information and no proper conversation because you’re not ready to own up to what’s happening to you emotionally, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, be opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: many childfree people seem to be adventurous, but that is a trait I don't associate with myself at all. I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, seeing them change around us, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side (albeit not regarding height), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
The natural progression for me would be to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but having my heart broken because I already developed feelings due to a longer timeframe and then everything unexpectedly turning to shit is not something I want to have to live through again. I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself, I unfortunately had to learn that
Caveats/Possible red flags

• I don't like travelling as it stresses me out; I don't mind being somewhere else for a week or two, but the organisation part of it drains my energy very quickly and dealing with stuff that doesn't work out is overwhelming to me. Smaller trips are ok, but I'm not the right person to travel the world with.
• I am not the most awake person in the morning (i.e. I identify as nightowl)
• I need space for my own projects/time to recharge after social interaction.
• While I feel like I am in tune with my inner child and working on/with it through therapy, I realise this is something that could be a turn-off for people.
• I have been diagnosed with depressive episodes in the past and am taking anti-depressants right now. I realise that I am a work in progress, maybe more so than in times past, but I manage and the fact that I'm putting myself out here is based on me being ready to get to know someone new.
• I want to create a home together here, as I'm firmly rooted where I was born; I realise this is a lot to ask, but I have seen many people here being open to moving, so I want to at least try reaching out to them.

If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself and I will reply with my own. Have a nice day (:

I am looking for a lady between 25 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner, training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with an avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or at a football game and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I'm looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus, emotional and intimate compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals and ideally, you do too.
Apparently in every relationship, one person is the stronger one. In the past, I have been with women who obviously were stronger than me, but that doesn't mean they always had to be strong, far from it. I certainly need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well.
Second, intimate compatibility. I am rather insatiable and love to experiment when it comes to the bedroom, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, this kind of fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. I found the term 'filthy best friends and partners' to be a perfect description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
I’d prefer to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself.
Caveats

• I don't like travelling as it stresses me out; I don't mind being somewhere else for a week or two, but the organisation part of it drains my energy very quickly and dealing with stuff that doesn't work out is overwhelming to me. Smaller trips are ok, but I'm not the right person to travel the world with.
• I am not the most awake person in the morning (i.e. I identify as nightowl)
• I don't want children and had a vasectomy
• I need space for my own projects/time to recharge after social interaction.
• While I feel like I am in tune with my inner child and working on/with it through therapy, I realise this is something that could be a turn-off for people.
• I have been diagnosed with depressive episodes in the past and am taking anti-depressants right now. I realise that I am a work in progress, maybe more so than in times past, but I manage and the fact that I'm putting myself out here is based on me being ready to get to know someone new.
• I want to create a home together here, as I'm firmly rooted where I was born; I realise this is a lot to ask, but I have seen many people here being open to moving, so I want to at least try reaching out to them.

If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself and I will reply with my own. Have a nice day (:

Are you a fierce firebender, a nurturing waterbender, an unwavering earthbender, or a freespirited airbender? The beloved Nickelodeon animated series Avatar: The Last Airbender captured the hearts of millions with its rich world inspired by Asian art and mythology. At the center were the four elemental nations - the Fire Nation, Water Tribes, Earth Kingdom, and Air Nomads - each with their unique bending abilities, cultures, and philosophies.
If you've ever wondered which of these nations most aligns with your personality and values, an Avatar: The Last Airbender personality assessment can provide fascinating insight. By delving into your traits, tendencies, and perspectives, this Element Nation quiz will reveal which bender you would be in the Avatar universe. Get ready to embark on an inner journey and uncover your elemental identity!

The Power of the Four Elements

In the mystical realm of Avatar, each nation wields the incredible ability to manipulate and "bend" one of the four classical elements - fire, water, earth, and air. More than mere displays of power, these bending arts are intrinsically tied to the philosophies and lifestyles of the respective nations.

1. The Fire Nation, though once representing oppression and conquest under the rule of the Fire Lord, is founded on principles of passion, force, and ambition. Firebenders draw their strength from willpower, determination, and the eternal cycle of existence.
2. The Water Tribes, residing in the Arctic North and Antarctic South, are the spiritual guides of the Avatar world. Waterbenders embody the flow of energy, change, and the ever-shifting tides of life. Patience, empathy, and healing are at the heart of their way.
3. The Earth Kingdom, with its sprawling cities and stubborn persistence, gives rise to earthbenders - steadfast, loyal, and unshakable in their resolve. They find strength in endurance, stability, and an unbreakable connection to their land.
4. The Air Nomads exemplify freedom, evasiveness, and cyclical rebirth. Airbenders are the embodiment of liberation, detachment, and finding joy in the present moment. Their bending reflects the formless, intangible nature of air itself.

Unveiling Your Inner Element

So, how can you discover which of these elemental philosophies resonates most deeply with your core being? An Avatar personality assessment delves into various facets of your psyche, exploring your values, thought patterns, emotional tendencies, and behavior under stress.
By answering a series of insightful questions, the assessment algorithm analyzes your responses and matches you with the nation that best aligns with your inherent nature. Are you driven by ambition and a fiery spirit, akin to the Fire Nation? Do you prioritize harmony, spirituality, and the ebb and flow of life like the Water Tribes? Does your unwavering resolve and grounded disposition mirror the qualities of the Earth Kingdom? Or are you a free spirit, embracing spontaneity and living in the moment, embodying the Air Nomad way?
The assessment not only reveals your elemental affiliation but also provides a comprehensive personality profile, offering valuable insights into your strengths, weaknesses, and fundamental motivations. Understanding your inner element can help you navigate life's challenges with greater self-awareness and make choices aligned with your authentic self.

How to Take the Avatar: The Last Airbender Element Nation Quiz

Embarking on this journey of self-discovery is a simple and engaging process. Here's how you can take the Avatar: The Last Airbender personality assessment:

1. Visit the Avatar Airbender Quiz website
   
2. Read through the instructions carefully to ensure accurate results.
   
3. Answer each question honestly, reflecting your true thoughts and behaviors.
   
4. Upon completion, your elemental nation and personality profile will be revealed.
   
5. Explore the detailed analysis of your bending affiliation and how it aligns with your core traits.
   
6. Share your results with friends and fellow Avatar fans to spark fascinating discussions!
   

This Avatar personality test not only provides an entertaining experience for fans of the beloved series but also offers valuable insights into self-understanding. By embracing your elemental identity, you can tap into the wisdom and strengths inherent in that nation, empowering you to navigate life's challenges with greater clarity and purposeful alignment.

The Wisdom of the Four Nations

Each of the four elemental nations in Avatar: The Last Airbender holds profound lessons and guiding principles that can enrich our lives, regardless of our bending affiliation.

1. The Fire Nation reminds us of the power of passion, drive, and the courage to forge our own paths, even in the face of adversity. Ambition and determination are vital forces that propel us towards our goals, but they must be tempered with wisdom and compassion.
2. The Water Tribes teach us the value of adaptability, empathy, and going with the flow of life's currents. By embracing change and cultivating emotional intelligence, we can navigate challenges with grace and find harmony amidst the ever-shifting tides.
3. The Earth Kingdom's unwavering resilience and connection to the land instill a deep respect for tradition, loyalty, and perseverance. In a world of constant upheaval, these qualities provide a grounding force, reminding us of the importance of roots and steadfast commitment.
4. The Air Nomads' philosophy of freedom, detachment, and living in the present moment offers a liberating perspective. By embracing impermanence and letting go of attachments, we can find joy in the here and now, cultivating a lightness of being that transcends material concerns.

Embracing the diversity and wisdom of these elemental nations can help us lead more balanced, purposeful, and fulfilling lives, fostering personal growth and deeper connections with ourselves and others.

Additional Resources

1. Share Your Results:

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sharesharer.php
  
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle
  
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/
  
• Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/submit
  
• Quora: https://www.quora.com/
  

1. Learn More About the Psychology Behind the Quiz:

• Personality Psychology (Wikipedia): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality_psychology
  
• Jungian Archetypes (Wikipedia): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jungian_archetypes
  
• Elemental Symbolism (Wikipedia): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elemental_symbolism
  

The Number 47, Synchronicity & the Law of Time Courtney Jamal Dewar, aka Capital STEEZ, came with perfect timing. Wielding a higher message, he revealed to all those around him through his music and his being the corruption of society and all of its constructs. He was fascinated, some would say, obsessed, with the number 47. For him this number held a higher meaning on many levels. First and foremost, he felt it was about synchronicity. He made all of his homies, including myself, aware of how this is the quintessential random number. We literally began to see it everywhere. You can research the numerological significance of 47. Here are just a few: 47 appears to be the quintessential random number of the universe. When a number appears randomly, more often than not, that number is 47. In other other words, if you asked people to pick a number at random, more often than not, that number would be 47. Of course, if 47 shows up more than any other number then it isn’t truly random, but using the word random makes the whole phenomenon easier to describe. From a spiritual perspective, number 47 is a combination of the energies and attributes of number 4 and number 7. The vibrations of number 4 include those of productivity and application, inner-wisdom and practical-thinking, honesty and integrity, endurance and determination, conscientiousness and discipline. Number 4 also relates to our passion and drive in life. Number 7 brings the qualities of spiritual awakening and enlightenment, intuition and inner-knowing, psychic abilities and mysticism, independence and individualism, persistence of purpose and manifesting good fortune.
There is even a much-viewed YouTube spoof of Jim Carrey’s The Number 23, substituting—you guessed it–the No. 47. Jim Carrey's character named Walter is given a book titled The Number 23. Walter starts reading the book and notices striking similarities between himself and the main character, a detective named "Fingerling". Fingerling is obsessed with the 23 enigma, the idea that all incidents and events are directly connected to the number 23 (Weirdly enough when I was younger I was in cod team called 23Enigma) only noted it as of the coincidence.
Jim Carrey told reporters he was so captivated by the 23 enigma even before reading the script that he renamed his production company from "Pit Bull Productions" to "JC23." (Jesus Christ 23?) Oddly enough the first film Carrey worked on with Joel Schumacher his character The Riddler's real name was 'E. Nigma'. According to Carrey, he was reading a book about Psalm 23 when he was first given a copy of the screenplay to review. He said he asked a friend to read the script and "an hour and a half later he was on page 23, circling every 23rd word. That's the kind of thing I want to do to an audience." When he discovered that the first page of the script involved the lead character trying to capture a pit bull, he was "freaked out," given the change in name of his production company. (Pitbull productions) My Nicknames Pitty, short for pitbul (These are just speculations) Also I've gathered others inputs and went down a deep rabbit hole. Mind you, this is just connections that has been gathered over time, but the consistency of certain "coincidences" are interesting to say the least. Just try to piece together the connections even though it may be out of radar due to us living completely different lives.
James > Cleveland Cavaliers (Cavs) > Number 23 > Nicknames are King James & The Chosen One
Cavs is the nickname of my last name Cavanagh
When you flip the cleveland cavaliers logo upside down it is quite similar
(The hat I've worn since 14, P represents the nickname"Pitty:" short for pitbill a nickname ive had since i was around 10 years old.
Matthew writes that on 23 occasions Jesus blessed 47 people.
The Bible credits Jesus with 47 miracles.
The Declaration of Independence has 47 sentences. Originally published: 4 July 1776 (4/7)
1947 is when the UFO crashed at Roswel
The Tropic of Cancer and the Tropic of Capricorn are 47 degrees of latitude apart.
Capital STEEZ died from allegedly leaping from the Cinematic Music Group’ either gripping a bible or with it strapped on his back There is also the fact that a blood lunar eclipse will occur in New York at 3:47 am on STEEZ’s birthday in 2047, and then the lunar eclipse which will occur after this one is part of the Lunar Saros series 135. He said he named the song 135 for “5th dimensional synchronization”... whatever that means, this would be a massive coincidence.
How Many People Can See This Eclipse? Number of People Seeing... Number of People* Fraction of World Population At least some of the penumbral phase 4,070,000,000 When the Eclipse Happens Worldwide — Timeline Event UTC Time Time in Melbourne* Penumbral Eclipse begins 7 Jul at 07:47:47 Visible in Melbourne 7 Jul at 5:47:47 pm On capital steez birthday.
STEEZs last tweet “the end” Was posted December (23) 2012 The building steez died (The colliers office) is on 666 fifth avenue, 10103 10+10+3=(23), New York. The building was built in 1878 The bohemian grove was established in 1878 The address of the CMG label building is on 40 west (23)rd st, 10010, New York The Freemasonry Grand lodge of New York is on 71 west, (23)rd st 10010 NY. Directly located across the same building STEEZ died. Yeah. West 23rd st, w is the (23)rd letter in the alphabet. In Hebrew the letter W represents the number 6 The fraction 2/3 in decimals=0.666 The freemasonry grand lodge of New York was founded in December 15, 1782 15, 1782 1+5+1+7+8+2 = 24. December 24 the date that's etched on STEEZs tombstone. A police report about his death has never surfaced, information has never been released, but there is pictures of his gravestone (see here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OuFVUJJR4Ug) and on that gravestone it says 24/12/12, which actually adds up to 48, yet he tweets on the 23/12/12 stating 'The End. Steez was ready to open up Pandora’s box and expose the illuminati occult in a way that has never been done before. It gets deep. Just think about it guys. Steez was an intellectual genius. He would obviously know that suicide actually makes u go to hell and not heaven. As a believer in the lord he would never commit suicide.
I'm not sure if you're paying attention to the ryan garcia trying to reveal how something tragic happened to him where he was taken to boheiman grove and forced to watch things i wont mention here People said his crazy and on drugs, sad thing is, I believe he is telling the truth Fast forward he wasn't on drugs and
Peep his song "Free The Robots" https://youtu.be/XcmR8DxuHBA
STEEZ has definitely made a positive impact on this world by introducing a new way of thinking and spirituality, even more of an impact than a lot of artists who are still alive... Capital STEEZ was 19 at the time of his death.
There is also gematria behind his death it has to do with numbers. I’ll explain what it is for those who aren’t aware of it. Gematria is the decoding of letters to numbers, it’s used to translate ancient Hebrew Scriptures. But it’s also the code for the entire world. The most basic way I can put it is that it’s as simple as ABC=123, they use these numbers thru media, and the thing that’s being shown on the media always correlates with Masonic numbers and words that correlate with whatever and whoever is being shown on the news or media and whatever event is taking place always correlates 100% of the time. In news, sports, music industry, Hollywood, politics, everything. In Numerology, which is different from gematria. After calculating his name I came across a lot of similarities when calculating mine in various forms.
While calculating his name i came across things relating to me like Like "Melbourne Victoria Australia, Royal Melbourne Hospital, june twenty fourth. From his name which connected to me personally as i was born in that hospital, thats the city i live and my birthday. The similarities left me wondering if it was actually real or not so I used multiple different calculators and paid for a membership on gematrinator to get maximum results and ended up noticing so much our mine and steezs calculations were similar answers in different form, and answers i got with his name ultimately connected to mine, vice versa. So i was intrigued and these are a list of numbers that matched up with our names. This is all speculation based on connections that seem to be very consistent peep this
Calculating these variations of our names such as Courtney Jamal Dewar / Courtney jamal Dewar Jr / Courtney Everald Jamal Dewar Jr / Capital STEEZ / Nathan Cavanagh / Nathan James Cavanagh / Nathan James Cavanagh Sciarra, calculations all listed together when I noted them all I didn't think to label to each name as I was so captivated by the coincidences I just kept going down the rabbit hole. I came across profound links to both our names that binds us both to the unique synchronicities that were to apparent to all be ruled as pure coincidence, such as his name calculating to my birthday, place of birth and city, and city i live to say the least.
These are calculations through gematria, some are our calculations mixed in this as I was just noting down every connection I noticed
The first and the last Eye Of Horus Total Eclipse the numbers of gods matrix coordinated universal time Capital Steez June Twenty Forth (my birthday) came up from steez name Lunar Eclipse Sacrifice July (2047 lunar eclipse on steezs birthday) The Central Intelligence Agency A WISE TALENTED MUSIC PRODUCER Royal Melbourne Hospital (where I was born) The Holy Bloodline Of Jesus The Return of Christ Exodus Luke synchronisation The Synchronicities Of Jesus The Book Of Revelations Vibrational Frequency Biblical Prophecy Melbourne Victoria Australia (where im from), came up on steezs calculations The Royal Bloodline The Divine Bloodline Of Jesus fourth of jew lie Energy frequency vibration The Holy Lineage Of Christ One Who Understands Mysteries december the twenty fifth. ..... speaks for itself A Door to another dimension New Moons And Solar Eclipse twenty four seven (my birthdays the 24th, his is the 7th) the victory of the lamb multidimensional royal regiment of scotland Golden Gate Sacrifice Gods Gift Clairvoyant The Chosen One The Two Appointed Ones Leaving For Heaven David And Daughter Of The Oath Are One Almighty God Roars Upon His Throne Powerful Great Grandma The Lord On Earth Donald Trump Assassination Lords Alignment The Lord Gods Here God Is Really Here God Birthdate Encoded End Of Times God Code The Code Of The Lord Lord Birthday Code Gods Provable Code Gods Alive Loser Access Into Heaven Twenty Three The Anunnaki Gods Jesus Is Coming A True Prophet The Seventh Seal What is Jesus's number? 888 Apollo Is The Beast Of Revelation See Fulfillment Of The Book Of Isaiah Prophecy The Serpent In Genesis Describes The Mark Of The Beast See The Forced Evil Mark Of The Beast Foiled The Victory Of The Lamb May The Lord Fill Your Heart Two Masters Is Cancer (steez and I are both Cancer) God Of Eternity We Are God Twins Maker Of New Earth A Two Edged Swords Xanax Vicodin Addiction (i struggled with bad) The Bible Is Intentionally Concealing Information The Galactic Jesus the Anointed One Moses Will Come The King Is Coming Miraculously Encoded By God Pyramids On Mars Forests On Mars Holy Spirit Of Zeus We Are Absolute Infinite Sent By The Gods Powerful Great Grandma999 Burning Alive The Gang Stalkers. (long story short I was a victim of whay they call gangstalking when I was reaching my peak or enlightenment and have been trying to get back to that state again, all I can describe it as is demonic torment) Enoch 777 on YouTube speaks on it good.) A Fourty Seven Mandating The Poisonous Jabs Knowledge Of God Brings Eternal Life Death Isnt So Scary Anymore Invictus Sol The Lion And The Lamb https://imgur.com/gallery/ztGPJGS The Lord Is Here Coming To Restore The Eternal Kingdom The Blood Of The Lamb Contact With A God Revival Jesus The Annointed One the key to it all I Am The Holy Grail Sun Moon Earth Revelation Nine Spirit World I Am The One Lord Jesus Christ I Know All Codes And Connections The Wisdom Of God Word Of The Lord Quantum Entanglement Theory The Anunnaki Path Almighty God Roars Upon His Throne 173 Enoch Chapter Ninety Five Pyramids Have Hidden Chambers Music Is My Life Revelation Five Everyone Is God Forever Jesus Walking With God Vision Of Gabriel New Revelation Seven Wonders Symbiotic Craft Thank You James (my middle name is James) Words Of The Bible Isaiah Fourteen Thirteen Trumps Last Son He Is Jesus Crown Chakra God Is You Gods In A Body The Resurrection Of Life The Book Lj Enoch King Jesus Gods Wrath We Are At War Truth Hidden In Plain Sight Double Conciousness The Anointed Lay Dead On The Cross Dragon Of China Is The Anti Christ. A Seed Of Jesse Angelic Guidance Black Pyramid Hidden Truth In Plain Sight King Messiah Heavens Dream Let The Decoding Fun Begin Add Up Letters Notorious Names The Child Of Christ Aliens Exist Spirit Of Moses C E R T I F I C A T E Of Baptism Of The Lord Of Christ Alchemist Fluoride To Heaven God Is Number Codes Numerical Language Learning Decoding Is Fun The Lord Of The Messiah The Book Of Hidden Messages Eight Eight Eight Nine Nine Nine Lost Books Of The Bible Rna Vaccine Maternal Ancestors Are Of Royal Descent You Are Gifted Frequency Turn Off Your Smart Phone I Am Eternal Life David Christ Gods Son The Sound Of Jesus Coming Help Others Realize Full Potential Implants During Surgical Procedures The Solar System And Thoughts The Reincarnation Of King David King David Divine Dna Is Activated Jesus Returns To Earth The Lion Of Judah Is With Us (Steez would speak about Judah)
Jamal Dewar; psalm twenty three Jesus son of God Nathan Day Revelation fourteen one Spiritual warfare Gang Stalker (experienced this myself) Satanic Cults Commit Suicide forty seven problem Bloodline of Jesus Christ The End (when this came up my jaw dropped.) And the God of peace shall bruise Satan under your feet shortly The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you Amen The Holy Mother of Jesus christ Are you ready for whats coming july seventh twenty eighteen
Courtney Jamal Dewar, Jr: The Book Of Revelations Vibrational frequency MELBOURNE VICTORIA AUSTRALIA (where I live) Christ Resurrection Satan Rules The World The Divine Bloodline of Christ synchronization Biblical Prophecy Capital steez Exodus Luke The Divine Bloodline of David Second Christ The Return of Christ Jesus Resurrection Jesus Christ Bloodline
I added stuff from my name as it was so coincidental I didn't think to label them at first I just wrote down anything I thought added up This is just deep research into who reminds me of myself My instagram is mistapitty Listen to The Resurrection by Pitty https://on.soundcloud.com/Xn3nN
Listen to Revelation 22 by Pitty https://on.soundcloud.com/gBAja
Peep his song "Free The Robots" https://youtu.be/XcmR8DxuHBA
STEEZ has definitely made a positive impact on this world by introducing a new way of thinking and spirituality, even more of an impact than a lot of artists who are still alive... Capital STEEZ was 19 at the time of his death.
There are four gospel accounts of Jesus' life and ministry. Each of these emphasizes a unique aspect of his sacrifice and ministry. Matthew's focus is on Christ being the son of David and a King.
Look into the etymology of your name. - What Does Nathan Mean? The name Nathan means “Gift of God” or “God has given.” In the Old Testament, Nathan was a prophet and one of King David's sons; he acted as a messenger to King David and is considered one of Jesus' ancestors. (David name of my biological grandfather) (James is my middle name) - James is a classic, traditional and Biblical name (Saint James, of course, was Jesus's brother and one of the 12 apostles) meaning "supplanter" or "replacer." It's derived from the Latin Jacomus which also means "may God protect.
Every letter to Capital STEEZs full name calculates to 147 when done in reverse on the gematria calculator and mine equals to exactly 470 when done in reverse.
"Nathan James Cavanagh Sciarra" = 470 (Reverse Reduction) N a t h a n 104 13 26 7 19 26 13 J a m e s 87 17 26 14 22 8 C a v a n a g h 159 24 26 5 26 13 26 20 19 S c i a r r a 120 = 470 8 24 18 26 9 9 26 Reverse = 470
"Capital STEEZ" = 47 (Reduction) C a p i t a l 26 3 1 7 9 2 1 3 S T E E Z 21 = 47 1 2 5 5 8 Reduction = 47
"Courtney Everald Jamal Dewar" = 147 (Reverse Reduction) C o u r t n e y 41 6 3 6 9 7 4 4 2 E v e r e s t 41 4 5 4 9 4 8 7 J a m a l 35 8 8 5 8 6 D e w a r 30 = 147 5 4 4 8 9 Reverse = 147
On June 24th 2022: Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn are lining up in the pre-dawn sky, a planetary procession that could be seen above the eastern horizon And what’s even more remarkable about this month’s lineup is that the planets are arranged in their natural order from the sun. The best day to see the spectacle will likely be the morning of June 24 of 2022, weather permitting, as the planetary parade will be joined by the waning crescent moon. This is three days after the summer solstice (or winter in australia), which is June 21. What makes this so unique is the last time we had 5 planets aligned in this fashion, was in March of 1874.
All of the "classical" planets will be viewable in the early morning skies of June 24th 2022. Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn will be visible, all apparent to the naked eye even under urban light pollution. On the 24th, our moon will be situated between Venus and Mars, so you could say the Earth-Luna system will complete the "perfect" alignment. Under the darkest skies, one will be able to see seven planets in one sweeping gaze. The same year December 24th the planets will align in their correct order outward from the sun for the second time this year, after a pre-dawn alignment in June which was on my birthday. STEEZ is said to have died on the 24th of December 👉 https://imgur.com/gallery/0RVIxxA
Alternatively, 25 December may have been selected owing to its proximity to the winter solstice because of its symbolic theological significance. After the solstice, the days begin to lengthen with longer hours of sunlight, which Christians see as representing the Light of Christ entering the world. This symbolism applies equally to the celebration of the Nativity of Saint John the Baptist on 24 June, near the summer solstice, based on John's remark about Jesus "He must increase; I must decrease." John 3:30 NRSV.[59] Now check out the following texts from the bible, they speak of the solstice here. 👉 https://imgur.com/gallery/0RVIxxA and I thought I should add this as it seemed to be quite a coincidence of the date i posted this somg and the content of the posts she made. It aligned with those geomatria calculations I made and i wish I could document snd explain why certain ones just synchronzie but it'd be to hard to comphrened.
"AFTER THE SOLSTICE, THE DAYS BEGIN TO LENGTHEN WITH LONGER HOURS OF SUNLIGHT, WHICH CHRISTIANS SEE AS REPRESENTING THE LIGHT OF CHRIST ENTERING THE WORLD. THIS SYMBOLISM APPLIES EQUALLY TO THE CELEBRATION OF THE NATIVITY OF SAINT JOHN THE BAPTIST ON 24 JUNE, NEAR THE SUMMER SOLSTICE, BASED ON JOHN'S REMARK ABOUT JESUS "HE MUST INCREASE; I MUST DECREASE." JOHN THE BAPTIST ANNOUNCES THE COMING OF THE LIGHT THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE, JOHN THE BAPTIST, ANNOUNCES THE COMING OF JESUS, THE COMING OF NEW TIMES, JOHN ANNOUNCES THAT GOD IS GRACIOUS TO HIS PEOPLE BY ANNOUNCING THE COMING OF THE SON OF GOD. BEHOLD, HE IS COMING WITH THE CLOUDS, AND EVERY EYE WILL SEE HIM, EVEN THOSE WHO PIERCED HIM; AND ALL THE TRIBES OF THE LAND WILL MOURN OVER HIM.” –ZECHARIAH 12:10-14; DANIEL 7:13-14 SO IT IS TO BE. AMEN (AGREED, YESHUA HIMSELF IS THE AMEN 3:14). “I KEPT LOOKING IN THE NIGHT VISIONS, AND BEHOLD, WITH THE CLOUDS OF HEAVEN ONE LIKE A SON OF MAN WAS COMING."
John the Baptist day is 24th of June.
"The flower of life, represents global consciousness and like there's this thing on the consciousness grid, the last piece, it has to be the flower of life and it has to align with the sun and all that stuff and it will wake up global consciousness & as i further in my ascension I hope to build it one day" "Some people might think this type of thinking, first of all this type of thinking might jump over a lot of people's heads" "I think humans need to lighten up, maybe try lighten up" - STEEZ
Someone regarding STEEZ: "Did he think there were codes in the Bible or something? I’ve heard him say he knows the “code” does anyone know what the code is? He was a truly enlightened person I wish I could understand him better."
STEEZ supposedly said he had to die now in order to save the Earth in 2047, which is when the world is supposed to end. Before he killed himself his friends say he withdrew not only from them, but rap in general, saying he was going to become a superhero.
(My birthday)24th of June 1999 = 2+4+6+1+9+9+9 = 40 STEEZ birthday) 7th of July 1993 = 7+7+1,993 = 2007.) 40 + 2007 = 2047
Now read a conversation he had on Facebook prior to death https://www.kanyetothe.com/threads/rip-capital-steez.354864/page-42?post_id=16781894&nested_view=1&sortby=oldest#post-167818 His song Dead Prez (credit to who found these calculations as this wasn't mine) If you wanna conspire a little, we technically have had 46 different president so far, tho truly only 45 different guys have been in office. This year, if we elect a new president they will be our 47th prezident. You could say that happens when the next president is elected, or when the second new president is elected because then there'd actually be 47 different people. On the contrary, you could predict that once 47 presidents have died, something very significant will happen because the song is about DEAD presidents. It'll happen in most of our lifetimes i wonder what will happen 2047?
https://imgur.com/a/bOpRy
FORTY, THE NUMBER: "Forty days was the period from the resurrection of Jesus to the ascension of Jesus some scholars note that 40 days in the Bible doesn't always mean 40 days literally, but may be a symbolic way of saying "a longer time. A master number and part of the “awakening code”. Also Jose Arguelles’s kin is 11 – he brought forth the Law of Time aka the World Thirteen Moon Cale In the Bible, next to the number seven, the number forty occurs most frequently.
Here's an article on Fader that's kind of aligns some things I've discovered.
https://www.thefader.com/2013/11/26/capital-steez-king-capital
Check out these images, not a lot of people would've seen these: h ttp://i.imgur.com/nPE90.png / http://i.imgur.com/sHtdM.png / http://i.imgur.com/ZcNu2.png - he thought he was the alchemist that had the key for world peahttp://i.imgur.com/ZcNu2.png Deshay posted this on Facebook after his immediate death: "Fxck.... This shxt jus rly fxcked me up. Me and Steezus JUST made plans to record on Saturday now hes gone. RIP Capital STEEZ" Joey said he believed he sacrificed himself for spiritual rebirth.
The End THE WIDELY ACCEPTED STORY is that Courtney ‘Jamal’ Dewar committed suicide by jumping off the Cinematic Music Building in Manhattan on 23.12.12 – which equals 47, the rapper’s favourite number. None of the city’s newspapers reported his death. As a result of inconsistent stories and a lack of police intelligence, confusion surrounds the heart-breaking event for the Dewar family. In a 2013 interview with Fader, an anonymous member of Pro Era said, “STEEZ told some of the Pros that he was thinking of killing himself by jumping off the building where Cinematic had its offices.” Dirty Sanchez a close friend of the late rapper recalled, “Nothing was working. Nothing. It was like too late. He made up his mind already.”
Today I will be briefly explaining the practice of Gematria. Gematria comes from ancient Jewish mysticism. It is the practice of combining the letter with the number, with the word. It is said this is how God created the world.
How does it work? Gematria has 4 major ciphers. The first two are easy as ABC, literally. For example A=1 B=2 C=3. And so on. The code can also be read backward from Z to A. This is called reverse ordinal. There are two more ciphers that are equally important but a bit more nuanced so for the sake of clarity I’ll leave those explanations to the work of Zachary K Hubbard. But to put Gematria into usable terms I’m gonna explain a decode I did recently. If you want to decode a word or phrase without doing the math yourself, there is an extremely helpful calculator at gematrinator.com it will give you all four cipher values for your word or phrase in an instant, as well as compare it with corresponding ciphers. Without further ado let’s look at this example:
Here I will outline some interesting numbers that coincide with the rapper Capital STEEZ and the numbers surrounding the music industry as well as numbers that come up with race, and other things I found eye grabbing.
(Credit to another user on here) First off I’ll start with Capital STEEZ, The interesting number here is the full reduction number, 47. It’s eye grabbing for many reasons, but we’ll start with a little back ground. Before Capital STEEZ’s (aka Jamal Dewar) death (suicide) in 2012, STEEZ was apart of an up and coming rap group known as Progressive Era, or ProEra for short. A known staple among these young men were the belief in “47 chakras” and “indigo children”. The two are a topic on their own, but the interesting part is that such a powerful number in Jamal Dewar’s life also coincides with the Gematria of his rap name. But that’s not it! Let’s continue
Capital STEEZ English ordinal: 137
Full reduction: 47
Reverse ordinal: 187 ( see pushed off a roof)
Reverse full reduction :70
Now keep an eye on 70, as we shall see him more as well.
Next we will decode the gematria of the reported means of STEEZ’s death, suicide. This is where I admittedly started getting intrigued.
Gematria of Suicide:
English Ordinal: 70
Full reduction: 34
Reverse ordinal:119
Reverse full reduction: 47
Wow. The exact same values but flipped.
Just a mere coincidence I’m sure But let’s continue .
With these next two we will see two repeats of values, one new value, 88 and a previously used value, 34. As well as 65
Jamal Dewar
English ordinal: 88
Full reduction: 34
Reverse ordinal: 182
Reverse full reduction: 65 ————————— Phrase: pushed off the roof
English Ordinal: 187
Full reduction: 88
Reverse ordinal: 245
Reverse full reduction: 65
And the next term we will decode will be Jamal’s occupation of rapper. Here we will see a reverse of our main number in question, 47, which I’ve found to be reoccurring as well.
Rapper
English ordinal: 74
Full reduction: 38
Reverse ordinal: 88
Reverse full reduction: 34
I’m beginning to sense a bit of a pattern here... But let me move on Now it’s time to get a little spicy
Jamal Dewar commited suicide on the night of December 23, 2012, though his wiki has his death on the 24 I believe as it was around midnight. Many articles coming out about his death including one I read from thefader.com reported his death on the 23rd. I specifically remember this detail because I was a huge fan of his and Pro Era at the time and it was a huge loss to the community.
December is the 12th month
12
23
12
Care to guess what that equals?
Yep. 47
Here are some other related phrases put into the gematrinator calculator:
Brooklyn New York (where proera is from)
223 79 182 74
Suicide by fall 128 56 223 79
Are you seeing the synchronization of these seemingly unrelated words and phrases?.
The word murder and murdered both have synchronized gematria with Jamal. We also see another repeat with 38, also found in the full reduction of the word rapper.
Murder
English ordinal: 79
Full reduction: 34
Reverse ordinal: 83 (38 reverse)
Reverse full reduction: 38
Murdered ,interestingly enough, though only being two letters away from murder, is actually more closely related numerically to jamals name and the word rapper, But there are similarities abound. Murdered.
English ordinal: 88
Full reduction: 43 (34 reverse)
Reverse ordinal: 128
Reverse full reduction: 47
Wow. This one really stands out to me. Every single number code number is used in the over all code of Capital steez just in this one word.
We see the repeats of 88 and 47 as well as the reverse of 34 for the first time and a repeat in the numbers of 128, which we saw as 182 above.
This one is slightly unrelated so I left it sort of by itself but I still maintain it’s validity as it’s use in the music industry is still relevant. That is the word racist. Race is huge in the overall narrative that msm tries to portray.
Racist
English ordinal: 70
Full reduction:25
Reverse ordinal: 92
Reverse full reduction: 47
racist and suicide are perfect matches on the front end and back end. 70 and 47.
Here’s another nugget.
The phrase : jumped to his death
English ordinal: 178 (pushed off the roof 187)
Full reduction: 70 (pushed off the roof 88)
Reverse ordinal:254 (pushed off the roof 245)
Reverse full reduction :83 (pushed off the roof 65)
Leap also shares 34 and 84.
Suicided 74 38 142 52
Occult
English ordinal: 74
Full reduction: 20
Reverse ordinal:88
Reverse full reduction:34
3 more repeats
The year of his suicide was a leap year
Leap year
English ordinal:83 Full reduction: 38 Reverse ordinal:133 Full res verse reduction: 43
Target audience: 133 61 245 83 Suicidal: 78 33 138 57 Hidden mission: 142 70 209 74 Some of these numbers are conjecture but there’s a lot of links between the numbers. 47/74 being the one of the more prominent, as well as 83/38, 34/43, 70, 245/254, 88, 33, 29/92/209, 182/128 all of these numbers connect in one way or another. Now it wouldn’t mean much if we didn’t know more about the nature of these numbers and how and where they appear. But since these number keep popping up in accordance to things like CONTROL GRID or MYSTERY RELIGION or SUPREME MATHEMATICS it seems almost impossible for it to be mere coincidence. Anyways I urge you guys to think for yourself and put in some work and see if you can find any use of this practice. God bless
Ps:
STEEZ’s debut album ”amerikkkan korruption” Came out on 4-7-2012 another 47. Vibration equals 47
A theory out there is that the cabal needed him to die because STEEZ was really bringing influence to more and more young minds with knowledge and the way STEEZ attacked and exposed certain things is not a good thing for those in power, the label that Joey wanted to sign when they were pro era, was a Jewish man named Jonny Shipes. if you’ve extensively went down the “rabbit hole”, like extensively, and you’d say you’re pretty “woke” (I hate that word), then you may know that most labels especially Jewish owned labels are basically the portals into The Illuminati cult, the Jesuit organization that controls the entire world. Oh and remember the news outrage, and investigation because of the 47 “swa stikkas” all over NY, yea you think these Jonny Shipes fucked with that? Nah. But this is all speculation.
It wasn’t long after Capital STEEZ's unfathomable passing on 12/23/12 – 12+23+12 = 47), which was only days after December 21, 2012, the precise date calculated by the great Mayans to be the end of a Great Cycle, that I received knowledge & became aware of the Law of Time. This seemingly new cosmology felt ancient and I quickly realized it had EVERYTHING to do with Synchronicity! I even found the number 47 to be ever ubiquitous throughout this 13 Moon calendar system.
"The next chapter is unstoppable. And yet, the greatest revolutions sometimes originate from the confines of impossibility, do they not? Break the code. It could make a leap and make possible a decision that defines the order of things that are." " Reality is a mathematical model which gets solved over and over again by the observer your thoughts are computations. And they render this world for you to call your own. Not all processors are alike. Different brains produce different realities. The variations go from the subtle to the drastic. Your mind defines how much you can taste. How much you can feel. How much you can understand. Perception defines perspective. We designed you and made sure to engineer your senses so you could perceive just what we needed you to. Neither more nor less. There are parts of time we preferred you remained blind to. It was a necessity."
The Law of Time, I found to hold the most profound yet simple teaching; our Time is not Money, Time is Art. I was able to grasp a greater vision of how we as humans have created an artificial timing system where our time here equates to how much money we can accumulate, where we are constantly stressed by this false belief of our making, and where there is never enough time… This system of our making and continuous propagation has only served to separate us from our Selves, from each other, and ultimately, from nature. Hence, resulting in the chaos and disharmony prevalent in the world today.
What is the greatest common factor of 23 & 47? 1 is the greatest number that 23 & 47 is divided to. The Chosen One @mistapitty ㄣ

I’m on mobile so please excuse any formatting errors. Thanks! I (18F), a senior in high school, was leave school last Friday when my car broke down. It’s not really relevant, but I’ll note it’s technically my parent’s car- they just let me drive it for school commutes. We’ve been having issues with the battery recently, so I figured I only needed a jumpstart, and called my dad (49M) who didn’t pick up right way. Instead I called some friends to help jumpstart it (the battery was indeed dead and I just found out there’s been a recall on the model I drive for this issue.)
We’ve got a dealership only a mile from my high school, so once my dad saw my voicemail and my friends got the car started my dad and I drove to the dealership to get the car looked at. They helped us quickly and sent us with a number to the waiting room where I, my dad, and six or so others were crammed to wait for our cars.
Everything was going well so far: I’d aced a quiz in my German class, made plans for the weekend, my dad was reading emails and showing me bad Facebook memes, and I was actually having a decent day. The issue stems from a comment my dad made out of the blue.
The dealership’s waiting room had a tv across from the table we were sitting at, and I was glancing up at it occasionally while picking out some music to listen to while we waited. An ad for bras started playing, the kind that smooth out that space just under your armpits where skin usually bunches.
I wasn’t really paying attention to it until my dad looked up and, not quietly at all, said “Hey look, a bra to get rid of all those fatty wrinkles,” while pinching the skin in question. I was genuinely shocked and didn’t say anything for a good ten seconds, just staring at him after jerking my side away. After I processed what he said I responded, “That was weird,” because that is a really weird thing to say to your teenage daughter. Then I told him that maybe they’d show an ad for hair loss products next, because he needed those more (he’s gone white and is actively balding.)
After a few minutes of him acting like what he said was absolutely normal and of me trying not to get emotional, I went to the bathroom and just stood there alone for a good ten minutes. I was and still am upset by what he said to me. I feel like he was trying to humiliate me for some reason, because not only did he grab me and insult my weight and body, but he did it loudly in a small room full of people.
I know for a fact some people turned and looked, and part of the reason I went to the bathroom afterwards (besides trying not to cry) is because I have a diagnosed social anxiety disorder. It gets really bad when I’m in large groups of unfamiliar people, and unbearable when the attention is on me. My hands got really sweaty and my chest started to hurt, and I had to stand alone in a grimy uncleaned bathroom until I calmed down so I wouldn’t freak out in front of the whole room. It was an awful experience all around and it definitely reopened some thoughts about myself and my appearance that I haven’t actively had since freshman year. My dad also knows I have this disorder, but from what I’ve gathered he believes it’s a crutch that I use because the ‘new generation is weak and wants to be victims and doesn’t take accountability.’ I thinks it’s reasonable to note that my mom, his wife, is diagnosed and medicated for the same anxiety disorder that I am. The only reason I bring this up is because I think it’s relevant to explain why I think this was such a shitty thing to do.
Another reason why I’m upset: I’ve always been insecure about my weight, specifically because of him and some comments he’s made in the past. He once told me at the age of ten that I was ‘getting a bit of a belly’ and ‘needed to eat better’ as if I was the one deciding what food came into the house and onto my plate. I know those comments alone don’t sound bad, but regardless of how he meant it I ended up crying in my room because all I heard was my dad telling me I need to lose weight. This is the most vivid time I remember him commenting, but he’s done this a lot throughout my childhood. He knows I’m insecure about my weight, but regardless I feel like it’s unspoken that you shouldn’t make comments about someone’s body like that, especially your own daughter.
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a few pounds heavier than I should be for my height, but I’m no where near obese or even fat. I’ve got softer features because of it, and I know I could lose a bit if I exercised a bit more, but case in point in a healthy and very average weight. He, on the other hand, has a beer gut and weights well over 280 pounds.
That was all the premise, and this is where I might be the asshole. When I got home I locked myself in my room and my dad went off to go shopping and pick up my sisters from their afterschool activities. I’d made plans to sleep over with a friend, and while waiting for her to arrive and pick me up my mom came home and we ended up chatting for a while about nothing. I was still pretty put off by my dad’s comment and once our conversation had ended I piped back up and asked “Can I ruin the mood?”
I told her the story I told here, that we were waiting and say the ad, that he pinched my side and made the comment, and my mom’s eyes physically bulged when I told her what happened. In short, she was pissed. She’s always been in my corner and she was appalled that he’d made this comment, and was even more upset and a bit angry when I told her there were other people present, too. She told me that it was an absolutely inappropriate thing for him to say and do, and that she has no idea why he would say that to me, and reassured me that I wasn’t fat in the slightest. I really appreciated it, and she actually pointed out another thing made the whole situation more odd.
She said it was extremely out of character for him, and also didn’t make sense because I don’t show off my figure whatsoever. I was wearing baggy jeans and a t-shirt a few sizes too big at the time, and a large jacket over top of it that I had just tied around my waist before he made the comment. I hate dressing provocatively or showing off my body, and even wear swim trunks and a tank top when swimming. All this to say there wasn’t a single hint of a wrinkle or any skin showing on my torso- he had to go out of his way to grab a chunk of my skin and mock me.
My mom hugged me and said she’d talk to him for me, and when my friend arrived I left and got dinner. We ended up sleeping over at my place (against my will but whatever) and once she left the next morning my dad came up to me and we talked. I had made breakfast for my friend and I and hadn’t felt like eating much even though I was hungry, and my dad accused me of trying to make him feel bad for making ‘a joke.’ I told him it wasn’t a joke because it was just mean, and he didn’t apologize for hurting my feeling, and told me I’d made a scene with Mom for no reason and she was pissed at him. He said I was starting problems and being immature and taking things too seriously. I just put in my earbuds and cleaned up the kitchen.
One huge reason his ‘joke’ hurt me specifically is because he’s very vocal and adamant that for any joke to be funny it has to be rooted in truth. I can’t emphasize this enough; any time he makes a joke, whether it’s genuinely funny or just off color and sort of derogatory, he makes the same comment about humor being rooted in truth. These are genuinely the only types of jokes he ever makes. You can see why this would upset me then, because he’s made it very clear that he believes his ‘jokes’ are all true on some level. Either he made the first exception to this rule of his life, or he was calling me fat to my face (and the entire waiting room full of people) and is trying to play it off like I’m overreacting when I have every reason to think he wasn’t.
On the other hand, maybe I’m reading way too far into this and he’s right. Maybe I was an asshole to bring my mom into this and upset her, and get him into trouble. Maybe I am being too sensitive and what he said wasn’t as bad as I feel like it was. Please let me know what you think.
TLDR: My dad made a loud comment implying I was fat in a small crowded room, then got mad that I told my mom and got him in trouble. He claims it was a joke I misinterpreted but I think he was trying to humiliate me.

Doing some research after reading an article posted in a beer Facebook group recently (for reference) that then led me down a rabbit hole of reading other articles around the topic to research ahead of recording a podcast on the topic. Wanted to understand people's general sentiments towards beer flights - whether you're pro, anti, or indifferent - was as there might be really good points one way or another I'm not considering. Also interesting to see if there's any differences in feeling depending on where you're from in the world?
Please do add context if the comments if you can/want to. It helps if you comment with what country your from and why you feel the way you do
​
Already expecting to get downvotes for this - which is fair enough - but basically I had searched to see if anybody else had talked about it so I could sift through there but it's been years. Mostly what comes up is pictures of people's flights which....I guess suggests people are mainly pro-flights?
View Poll

First time posting here, long time lurker. Also I'm sorry if the flair is wrong, I couldn't decide between a few of them.
Anyway, what I'm getting at is, a month ago I bought a used phone on Facebook because my old one doesn't charge well and with my girlfriend being long distance, I want to have something reliable. So I buy it and it's a much older model than what was said and I only knew after a day of having my SIM card in and info on it. That's when my delusions (god I hope that's what they are) really ramped up. I've had delusions especially ones that revolve around being watched or being talked about ever since being a kid, But they feel like they've been getting more intense. This past month has been one of the hardest ones in my entire life, I'm spending every waking second scanning my device for viruses, compulsively googling every single thing that looks out of the ordinary, and somethings do look sketchy Which only feels the paranoia. Everyone I talk to winds up getting annoyed and telling me to stop talking about it, but I feel like it any moment my entire life is just going to be put out there, exposed, or taken from me. That definitely stems from some intense trauma I had growing up, put at the same time it feels like such a real possibility. I've barely slept, and when I do I dream about it. My eating is either not at all or gorging myself to cope, my work has suffered immensely, I haven't made a video on my YouTube channel which was my favorite thing to do in months now, even texting my girlfriend I always try to end every conversation with telling her that if I get taken or something that I love her. Every knock on the door scares me, but especially everything tech related is scaring me. I'm chronically online so that doesn't help, but being a minority in the deep south, being online is my only source of community. My hallucinations have been getting really bad as well ever since this started, I was convinced I saw a red glowing satanic looking symbol on my bathroom door and jumped up to look at it, I hear voices A lot of the time, they used to be pretty constant but now it's way more so. I'm seeing things on the corner of my eye, even driving is difficult. I miss even the illusion of safety I had before this happened a month ago. I'm crying non-stop, and using voice to text right now because I'm crying so hard I can't type. I really don't know what to do. On what had I know I need help, but I firmly believe that something's happening because I see things I can't explain phone wise like notifications for "data restore tool" being opened when I'm asleep.
I need help and I don't even know where to turn. I've told my therapist, but nothing's working

Please, feel free to add any events below! Check out the Visitor's Guide for more things to do around town!
Looking to meet up with people? Check out Meetup St. Louis.
Be sure to continue scrolling past the Weekly Events for Trivia Nights, Live Music, Sporting Events, Local Comedy, and more!
​

• Cardinals HOF Presents: Flashback Fridays
  • May 24, 2024
  • Visit the Cardinals Museum for a candid interview in our Sportsman's Park Theater with former Cardinals Pitcher Kevin Siegrist on Friday, May 24th at 4:30pm.
• Cardinals HOF Presents: Saturday Signings
  • May 25, 2024
  • Saturday, May 25th is Saturday Signings with former Cardinals Pitcher Kevin Siegrist from 2-4pm in the Cardinals Museum!
• Chess at the Brewery
  • Every Wednesday
  • Local meetup group of chess players that meet at breweries on Wednesday nights. They rotate locations each week.
  • See their Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/chessatthebrewery/) for the location this week.
• Explore STL Fest at Ballpark Village
  • May 22, 2024
  • Taking over Together Credit Union Plaza at Ballpark Village, Explore STL Fest will feature appearances and giveaways by beloved local attractions, entertainment venues, restaurants and hotels.
  • Local media will broadcast live from the event, helping to spread the word about everything that makes St. Louis such a special destination.
  • Festivities begin at 10 a.m.
• Family Night with Fredbird
  • Wednesdays
  • Join others at Cardinals Nation Restaurant & Bar for Family Night with Fredbird on select Wednesday evenings this off-season! Bring your family down for games, prizes, and meet Fredbird from 6:30-7:30pm.
• Karaoke Wednesdays at HandleBar
  • Every Wednesday
  • Browse the catalog and find your favorite songs to sing! Songbookslive.com/stlredcarpet
• Karaoke Wednesdays at Mack's Bar & Grill
  • Every Wednesday
• Landmarks Downtown Walking Tours
  • Every Saturday
  • Landmarks Downtown St. Louis Walking Tours: History, Culture, Architecture, and Exercise: What could be better on a Saturday morning.
• Native American Art of the 20th Century: The William P. Healey Collection at St. Louis Art Museum
  • February 23 - July 14, 2024
  • Native American Art of the 20th Century: The William P. Healey Collection celebrates a transformative gift of outstanding works by Native American artists active across the 20th century. The promised gift of 100 works establishes a critical junction between the Saint Louis Art Museum’s deep collection of pre-1920 Indigenous art and a growing emphasis on the contemporary.
• Open Mic Night at Schlafly Bottleworks (Maplewood)
  • Every Wednesday
  • Join others every Wednesday evening and showcase your talents with our Open Mic Night! Open sign up begins at 6:30PM with music starting at 7:00PM. They welcome original material, covers and spoken word! Grab a beer, then play and listen every Wednesday! There are no cover charges and no drink minimums to attend.
• Soulard Farmer's Market
  • Wednesdays - Saturdays
  • Soulard Farmers Market is located at 730 Carroll Street in St. Louis, Missouri, a half mile north of the Anheuser-Busch Brewery. The market is open Wednesday through Saturday, year round. They feature locally grown and shipped in goods, including: produce, meats, cheeses, spices, gourmet kettle corn, flowers, baked goods, and general merchandise. There are also several different eateries that have many food options, which allows customers the convenience to grab a quick bite to eat and a drink while shopping.
• St. Louis African Arts Festival
  • May 25 - 27, 2024
  • The St. Louis African Arts Festival aims to increase awareness of the global contributions that African people and people of African descent have made through artistic, cultural and educational programs. In its 33rd year, the festival will be held at the World’s Fair Pavilion in Forest Park from May 25 to 27.
  • The multi-day event draws locals and visitors together to celebrate the rich and diverse cultures of African and African American people. Attendees can enjoy the African marketplace with arts and crafts, clothing and jewelry, alongside cultural demonstrations, traditional foods and African films.
• St. Louis CITY Block Party
  • May 25, 2024
  • Before the St. Louis CITY SC match kickoff, get the party started early with live music, food and drinks on Lou Fusz Plaza! CITY SC presents the free CITY Block Party featuring live performances from Juliet Ivy, Hazmat and Lexodus, as well as local food and beverage vendors, fan giveaways, and games and activities for all ages.
  • The block party is free and open to the public. If you don’t have tickets to the match, stay to catch CITY take on Seattle Sounders on the big screen at the free Watch Party on the plaza (7:30 pm kickoff).
• St. Louis CITY SC Street Party at Schlafly Tap Room
  • May 25, 2024
  • In celebration of ALL home soccer games, Schlafly will close down "Louligan Street" and support our team the only way they know how: great food, drinks, and fun. There are beer tents, food trucks, special (game day and late night) menus, and more. Get here early and park!
• Sunday Bingo at Tim's Chrome Bar
  • Every Sunday
  • Get in the mood for some fun with an afternoon of BINGO at Tim’s. They'll supply the cards and daubers. Just bring yourself and your BINGO loving friends. Play for some good laughs and a variety prizes. Bar opens at 12 p.m., they'll start BINGO at 3 p.m. Cheers!
• Sunset Rooftop Yoga at Ballpark Village
  • May 23, 2024
  • Unwind on the rooftop of Ballpark Village in St. Louis during a one-hour yoga class led by YogaSix.
  • After the session, nama-stay for exclusive happy hour offers such as $3 domestic beers and $5 select cocktails.
• Thursday Nights at the Museum
  • Every Thursday
  • Kick off your weekend at the Missouri History Museum in Forest Park! Each Thursday Night at the Museum will be the most fun, engaging, uplifting, thought-provoking, perspective-shaping night of your week. And there are drinks.
  • Join others starting at 5:30pm for happy hour and pop-up activities, such as brief tours, games, and performances. The main stage comes to life at 6:30pm, light appetizers and drinks are available for purchase until 7:00pm, and the Museum’s exhibits are open until 8:00pm for you to explore!
• Tower Grove Farmer's Market
  • Every Tuesday & Saturday
  • Join others every Saturday of the 2023 Tower Grove Farmers Market Season. They'll have over 100 vendors with local produce, meat, flowers, eggs, honey, prepared foods, art, jewelry, live music, and so much more.
• Vietnam: At War and At Home at Soldiers Memorial
  • Running until May 27, 2024
  • In 'Vietnam: At War and At Home' at Soldiers Memorial Military Museum, the story of the war’s origins, execution, conclusion and legacy are presented in engaging, accessible and evocative ways. The exhibit presents a diverse and holistic snapshot of the turbulent times in Vietnam, in the U.S. and in the St. Louis region.

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Sporting Events This Week	Attractions Around the Area	Comedy This Week
St. Louis Cardinals schedule	Anheuser-Busch Brewery	Funny Bone Comedy Club
St. Louis Blues schedule	City Museum	Helium Comedy Club
St. Louis City SC schedule	Gateway Arch	The Improv Shop
St. Louis Battlehawks schedule	Missouri History Museum
St. Louis Billikens schedule	National Blues Museum

​

Trivia Nights
Location	Date/Time	More Information
Anheuser-Busch Biergarten	Tuesdays 6:00 pm - 8:00 pm	Trivia Details
Bar K	Tuesdays at 7:00 pm
City Foundry	Thursdays 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm
Crack Fox	Mondays 6:00 pm - 10:00 pm	They host a weekly free tournament and game night. Emphasis on Non Alcoholic refreshments and camaraderie.
Joey B's on the Hill	Mondays 8:30 pm - 10:30 pm	Trivia Details
Nick's Pub	Mondays
Felix's Pizza Pub	Tuesdays at 8:00 pm	Trivia Details
ITAP (Delmar Loop)	Wednesdays at 7:00 pm
ITAP (Soulard)	Tuesdays at 7:00 pm
Schlafly Brewpubs (Any Location)	Tuesdays 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm	Trivia Details
Rockwell Beer Co	Tuesdays	Trivia Details (Reservations required)
The Mack	Tuesdays at 8:00 pm	Trivia Details
The Pat Connolly Tavern	Wednesdays at 7:00 pm
The Post	Wednesdays 8:00 pm - 10:00 pm	Trivia Details
Pieces Board Game Bar & Cafe	Wednesdays	Trivia Details
HandleBar	Thursdays at 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm	Trivia Details
Steve's Hot Dogs	Tuesdays 7:30 pm - 9:30 pm	Trivia Details
Wellspent Brewing	Thursdays at 7:00 pm

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Live Music This Week
Music Venues	Live Music Around Town
Blueberry Hill Duck Room	1860 Saloon
Chesterfield Amphitheater	BB's Jazz, Blues & Soups
Delmar Hall	Broadway Oyster Bar
Enterprise Center	City Foundry
The Fabulous Fox Theatre	Gallery Pub
The Factory	Game 6 Honky Tonk
Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre	Gaslight Lounge
Off Broadway	The Heavy Anchor
Old Rock House	Jazz St. Louis
The Pageant	Joe's Cafe
Red Flag	The Lot on the Landing
The Sheldon	Tim's Chrome Bar
St. Louis Music Park	McGurk's
St. Louis Symphony Concert Calendar	SoFar St. Louis Secret performances around town
Stifel Theatre	Venice Cafe
	Yaquis on Cherokee

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Recurring Outdoor Activities
Big Muddy Adventures – STL Riverfront Adventure	Big Muddy Adventures was established in 2002. They are the first professional outfitteguiding company providing access to the wild wonders of the Middle Mississippi and Lower Missouri Rivers.
Gateway Arch Events	There are a variety of things to do along the Mississippi River.
Hidden Valley Ski Resort	Ziplining, scenic chairlift rides, and hiking trails opened during the summer. Skiing, snowboarding during the winter.

​

We attended Friday. Rainy, Scottie, bus incident aside.
Louisville is a fun little town. Clean. Bourbon is delicious. EDIT: let this be an indication that we’re from out of town and did not have our own personal transportation. We needed to use Uber
Logistics sucked. Beautiful course. Pretty countryside. Not a course for major championship IMO.
I understand getting thousands of spectators to the course is a mess. One way to the course. One way out. Lyft/Uber line was backed up for miles. More on that.
The course had no walking diffusion. Basically everyone had to cross 17 fairway to get in/out. Choke point. Once you were able to branch off, it was at the par 3 14th. Options were to Walk up a treacherous muddy hill or stay within the masses. And to get to the front 9 was another small choke point. I’m sure they could have put the entrance for the general public elsewhere, but that was the only spot they could put the merch tent, so that’s where it goes.
I kept thinking to myself if this wasn’t a major, there would be spectators doing mudslides down the hill on the left of 14.
The all you can eat food and N/A drinks are nice, quick, and easy. But the kitchens seemed like they couldn’t keep up with demand. I guess the $17 beers are normal now.
Uber & Lyft drivers there sucked. They’d sit in the line, turn off their apps, and wait until someone accepted a $250-300 cash ride back to downtown. They’d also block the entire lot so real drivers couldn’t get in. Friends had to walk nearly 1.5 miles in the traffic to find their ride. Was talking to some fans who after waiting 45 minutes finally got in one of those cars asking $250. After a little bartering, the driver threatened to leave them on some back country road if they didn’t pay the full price. In the end, they gave the driver $80 and ran into their hotel with him chasing them for more money.
EDIT: wife and I took shuttle from course to Expo Center on the way back. That was efficient. Much better than other tournaments. (Ie Dulles airport to Congressional in 2011). Complaint was I had no idea where to have Uber pick us up within that complex.
Meanwhile LVille cops just sitting in the lot scrolling through Facebook.

WAR
A few days later, my phone buzz-chirped. I opened my messages to find several pics of Dennis' Jeep, a blurry mess of lights, and a final shot of Dennis leaning back in the driver's seat with his eyes closed and his junk out and at attention. And there was a caption.
"Consider us EVEN."
I saw red. The possibility of finding peaceful contentment with Whisky was a distant memory. A figment of my imagination. I wanted blood. I wanted to slap Mary's fat fucking face senseless. I wanted to rat her out to Chuck. I was livid. Angry heat spread from my sternum to my shoulders, and the sharp sting of wrath radiated through my being. I rang Mary.
Mary: How does it feel, bitch?
I couldn't make words. I was shaking. My head was spinning. All I could muster was a meek little, "Why???"
Mary: You owed me.
Me: Mary, I'm not screwing Whiskers. And how did you even FIND Dennis? Do you even LIKE him?
Mary: Totes! He's soooooo cute! We banged it out five or six times in his car, and then he told me to lie down in the parking lot. And then he pissed all over my titties! It was soooo hot!
Me: I don't believe you. Dennis is into some pervy-ass shit. But not piss.
Mary: Well, he told me you were too vanilla to do anything fun.
Me: YEAH. I didn't wanna get butt-blasted without a rubber by a guy who couldn't even be bothered to show up when we had plans. That's not being vanilla. That's having self-respect.
Mary: Guys don't like girls who make a big deal about self-respect. It's a major turn-off. That's why I get so much more boom-boom than you do. Hey! Now that we're done fighting, you can pick me up and take me out for sushi! I'll teach you how to make men happy and then you'll owe me dinner. I obviously pleased Dennis when you couldn't.
Words failed me yet again. I shouted a much, much filthier version of, "GO SCREW," hung up on her, put on my sneakers, and ran aimlessly through my neighborhood until I almost collapsed. Once I trudged back home, I smoked a shit-ton of cigarettes and drank a shit-ton of vodka (for me, which was like... three shots) and really did collapse.
Up to this point, I felt like I had been patient with Mary. More patient than she deserved. I probably hadn’t done her any favors by allowing her to behave like a fucking maniac while I did nothing more than gently suggesting alternative behaviors. I still wanted to have faith in her ability to grow (emotionally). But all of that came crashing down. For some reason, my formerly improved sense of self-respect crashed as well...
I texted Whisky, planned to meet him at his townhouse, and successfully banged him. It was absolutely a hate bang even though I didn't hate Whisky at all (yet). I'd never engaged in hate-fueled intimacy before. I didn't realize those two states could co-exist like that. As reluctant as I am to admit it, it was cathartic. And it was also admittedly unfair to Whisky because he had no idea what was happening. I had just used him to make myself feel marginally better about a guy I guess I still had some kind of feelings for.
In case I've been unclear, I'm fully acknowledging that my actions were immature, inconsiderate, and indefensible. Don't bang somebody just because you're mad at somebody else, kids. Nobody wins. Well, it might feel like winning for a short time. It's NOT. It's bad behavior. And I absolutely hold myself accountable. Did I deserve to get verbally abused by the psycho neckbeard lurking behind the mask of the man I’d just hate-banged? No. Unequivocally, NO. But would Whisky have been well within his rights to dump me in a spectacular fashion if he’d realized what I was doing in that moment? Abso-freakin-lutely. Hell, I would have totally deserved it if he’d booted me out of his house butt-naked and screamed insults from the window. An isolated hurling of insults is not the same thing as chronic verbal maltreatment within the context of a relationship. But that's a serious topic that feels out of place in this story.
So instead of calling me on my crap and giving my butt the boot, Whisky remained oblivious to what was going on in my misguided mind and took the hate bang to mean that our relationship had just gone to the next level. And he became even sweeter and more affectionate towards me. This made my skin crawl because all my feelings for Dennis (both good and bad) had just come flooding back with a vengeance. I had no idea what to do with them. Part of me wanted Dennis to hug me and apologize. Part of me wanted to punch him in the dick. Part of me wanted Whisky to hug me and assure me that I had value as a human being even if some Golden God hadn’t chosen me to be his partner. And then part of me wanted to snap at Whisky every time he touched me. "You're NOT the one I want, Asshat!!!!!!!"
But the truth was... I didn't really want Dennis anymore. I mean... I wanted him in theory, but I didn't want the real version. He was a flake. He was nasty. I couldn't wrap my head around his inconsistent, albeit devout, spiritual beliefs. He was indeed a braggadocious butthead. I suspected that he wasn't even a very nice person beneath his affable veneer. Even so, I was irrationally irate with Mary for deliberately stalking him and seducing him. Did she really think that would make me look at my relationship with Whisky differently? I hadn't stalked him. I hadn't even pursued him. In fact, I'd rejected him several times (albeit not out of respect for Mary). How are these two situations alike??? What am I failing to see here??? Maybe I was the villain. I certainly wasn't innocent. But neither was Mary.
I mean... Mary was friggin’ MARRIED. And she'd been going around blabbing indelicately about all her supremely nasty boom-boom (whether real or fabricated) with Whiskers, Scumbanger, Tech Guy, Artistic Director, and the Hoggs. How the living, breathing, God-forsaken FUCK had she decided that she was entitled to sexy time with my (former?) crush just because I was dating ONE of the innumerable guys she’d stalked once upon a time???? Gaaaahhhhhhhhh!
And then it got even worse. Dennis was almost finished with his graduate program and was planning to move to New York that summer, while I still had another two years to go (counting the internship). But we both worked in the Neuropharmacology Lab that semester, so I still had to see him every week. Even though nothing had happened between us in a long, long time, I never knew if Dennis was going acknowledge my presence or look right through me. The power of invisibility isn't all it's cracked up ti be. But the next time I saw him, following the Mary tryst, he very deliberately approached me and said in an almost apologetic tone, "Val? Can we please talk after lab?" I nodded.
He asked me to get in his car, but I couldn't stand the thought of sitting in the ghost of Mary's snail trail. I insisted that we sit in my car, and he didn't protest. The familiar scent of mandarins and mountain air wafted through my Prius as I steeled myself for a confrontation.
Dennis: I think your friend stalked me...
Me: The crazy bitch with the big boobs?
Dennis: Yeah... She messaged me on Facebook and she was talking like you'd told her about me and thought we should hang out. I said we should call you and invite you to come along, but she said you had a boyfriend. Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: I'm dating someone. But what does it matter?
Dennis: Oh. I guess it doesn't. Anyway, I met her at this 24-hour diner. She drank like... ten beers even though I told her I don't drink. She kept talking about her cat or something...
Me: Whiskers?
Dennis: Yeah.
Me: That's a guy. She used to have a thing for him.
Dennis: That’s a guy’s name??? Weird. Well, anyway... She got all sloppy and literally started doing mouth stuff to me under the table.
My stomach turned and my blood boiled. "I don't need to hear that. She already told me all about your night. She sent me pictures of your dick and she told me how you peed on her in the parking lot."
Dennis: She said I WHAT??? Babe! Er. Um. Val! I would never do that.
I gave him a skeptical stare.
Dennis: Hand to God! I didn't pee on her. But, wait... She took pictures of my stuff???
I took out my phone and showed him the pic. Dennis blushed ferociously and looked away. Finally, he said quietly, "I'm so ashamed of myself."
I sighed. "You're always ashamed of yourself. That's why I stopped fooling around with you. It felt like you were ashamed of me, too."
Dennis: Babe! No. I just have to get right with God.
Me: Well, have you talked to God about Mary?
Dennis: I'm not ready for that one yet. I feel dirty. Like... dirtier than usual.
Me: Well, now I feel kind of guilty. She's mad at me because I'm dating a guy she used to have a crush on. She went after you because she knew I used to have a crush on you.
Dennis: You had a crush on me??? For real?
At first, I scoffed (thinking he was being sarcastic). Then I looked at his wide eyes and realized that he might have actually been that clueless.
Me: Yes, Dennis. I massively had a crush on you. You knew that. But I was apparently too vanilla for you, according to Mary.
Dennis: What??? Babe! I never said you were vanilla. I said you were classier than her.
Me: Well... Thank you? If that really is what you said to her, I appreciate that.
Dennis (striking his version of a smoldering pose): So. Uh... You still have a crush on me?
Me: I think I'll always wonder what could have been if we were each just... slightly different people. But I had to move on. I knew you didn't like me in that way, and it wasn't fair to either of us.
Dennis: Well, for what it's worth, I wish it had been your mouth the other night.
I finally smiled a little bit. I wished the same thing. But I didn't say that out loud.

Oddly enough, having that somewhat respectful, somewhat reassuring conversation with Dennis quelled my anger at Mary... a little. Don't get me wrong; I was still pissed and I never let her get close to me again after that. But I also never made a big, dramatic show of telling her off. In my mind, that would have invited more unnecessary drama. By tacitly distancing myself and henceforth keeping her at arm's length, she wasn't able to freak out over anything and I was able to keep her out of my business.
Years and years later, even now that Mary is a functional person with a healthy BMI, and much better manners (most of the time), she is still wont to bring up her tryst with Dennis. While I genuinely applaud her for putting in the work and making some sensible changes, I'll never be super buddy-buddy with her again. The fact that she still throws Dennis in my face to this very day makes me suspect that there remains a touch of cray in her gray matter.
And where Whisky was concerned, I had finally felt some sense of closure with Dennis after the aforementioned talk. So I leaned into a new relationship. And it was fine at first. Not super hot, but also not super weird. Having learned from my disgusting mistake, I know that I tend to get tempted to speculate about incredibly offensive crap regarding Funky Whisky whenever his behavior is unremarkable and not in keeping with the delightfully repulsive tone that this audience tends to enjoy. So I'll end this chapter here. In the next proper installment, I'll finally shed some light on The Goblinization. But before I wrap things up, I need to write a one-off about The Pie Guy and bring back some classic cringe!