Pic and labels of the brain

Two Redditors colliding. It's a small world.

2014.12.02 00:19 Poemi Two Redditors colliding. It's a small world.

2redditors1cup! a place where folks across the internet cross ways in an unexpected way! sometimes the world can be incredibly small.

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2012.07.27 11:38 NO CONTEXT PICS

Here at /nocontextpics, there are no sob stories or stories of any kind. The pics must succeed or fail on their own merit. No context.

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2010.01.26 11:12 2010istheyear Overcoming porn addiction one day at a time

This community exists to help people of all ages overcome their addiction to porn.

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2024.05.21 19:26 virgx_xo Am I overreacting? bf is emotionally cheating on me

This is really hard for me to talk about because I struggle to understand & accept it and I don’t talk to anyone irl about it which sometimes sucks & makes me feel alone. So I’m gonna try this & see if anyone has anything useful to tell me bc I could really use any advice or support right now that I can get. This might be a long story so I’m sorry in advance.
I’m 22f and I’ve lived with my bf (24) for 3 years. We do everything together and in my opinion we’re very close and alike but in his opinion the love that we have/the love he gets from me is not enough bc about a year & a half into living together, we went thru some money struggles & his loss of a close family member which really affected him and he hasn’t really been completely the same since. But even before that loss, about a year & a half into our relationship, he decided to tell me that he’s decided he’s poly. Which I don’t agree with and I’ve made it clear. And I know the normal thing to do in that situation is go okay, well you need to leave him because you both aren’t on the same page with what you want in your relationship. I just want him to choose me and put me first like i do to him, he means everything to me. He is actually the only family i really have which is why it’s extremely hard for me to leave him. but i can feel him slowly slipping away from me. And i have tried to end things before kind of a lot of times, but we never end up following thru with it bc he apologizes, lies & says he’ll choose me over “being poly” , delete all the dating apps, stop liking naked pictures, or whatever the case may be at the time. Or he has said in the past he would go crazy & they would have to put him in a mental hospital if we broke up, bc he can’t handle another loss after his close family member passed. So obviously i feel guilty. I always just hoped in the back of my mind that one day he would wake up from this bullshit and stop with the “poly” phase and be loyal. But it’s not happening. & he always gets back on the dating apps or whatever else he does and acts like i’m in the wrong for not letting him “be who he is” which is “poly”.
In my opinion it’s one thing if he had made this great revelation BEFORE we started dating but it just makes me feel tricked that he didn’t mention it ever once UNTIL we had been living together for like a year already. Bc if he told me that when I met him I never would’ve dated him and I never would’ve fallen in love with him and moved in with him.
I look at his phone about once every 3-6 months & every time i do i find something new & bad. He always turns it on me saying i’m in the wrong for going thru it but I really wish I didn’t have to do that but if i didn’t i would never find out anything. Bc he claims he doesn’t want to waste my time with telling me about someone who’s just playing with him (like something that’s not serious) bc he hasn’t found any girl willing to go fuck off and be poly with him (i don’t think any girl like that actually exists.) despite his ongoing search for a new girlfriend (or “connection”). but yet i feel lied to bc when i look at his instagram he acts single & he dms so many random girls LUSTFULLY. And it’s so embarrassing. On top of that girls rarely reply to him bc no one wants a random man lusting in their dms. I had no idea this was the type of person he was or i wouldn’t be with him. And when i ask him about it he lies or covers it up saying he’s not like that and he isn’t lustful & that being poly isn’t about sex it’s about forming a connection with multiple people. Well if it wasn’t about sex then he wouldn’t be lusting after random girls in their dms. And btw instagram has been an issue in the past due to me finding out he hearted a pic of a girl he knew, basically a nude or a bikini pic. And the way that situation went was that he said omg i’ll delete my whole instagram and i’m done with it since this is a problem. But i told him no stop saying that shit you know you don’t mean it and you’ll be back on it in 3 days. He’s like no i mean it and yeah then in three days he was back on it. This happened a few times with other apps like tinder and every time i’m like please just save it bc we both know you saying you’re permanently off these apps isn’t true.
I don’t even have instagram anymore ever since i saw the bikini pic bc i just didn’t want to spend my energy anymore feeling like i wasn’t as pretty as the girls he follows or interacts with, so i actually followed thru and deactivated my whole account & haven’t been on it since. (at least a year) other than that i don’t use SM other than reddit & lurking on twitter sometimes & watching tiktoks. I’m not a SM girlie it not that I’m not pretty ( not trying to sound narcissistic) but i’m not an ugly girl i just really prefer privacy and don’t like posting myself online. But seemingly my bfs type is SM wh-res and i’m truly not judging the girls, I’m judging my bf.
This morning i looked at his instagram and found some extremely NSFW dms from him to a few random girls & found message conversations with a girl that’s poly that’s out of our state that he talks to often & opens up to her about things he doesn’t open up to me about, and gives her the nicest compliments that he never gives me, says she’s the prettiest girl he’s seen, sympathies w her over her personal struggles w life & relationships, calls the girl his soulmate & says they share a brain, complains about me not accepting him being poly & going thru his phone and being “threatened” by her & has shared some personal details about my life that i don’t share with people even my close friends. and much more. however he still spins it on me being in the wrong for not accepting him and going thru his phone. he never takes accountability for what he does & always lies about it not being as bad as it is and that i’m reading into things. the problem is i don’t believe what he does is poly i believe it to be CHEATING. I believe it is possible to have an honest poly relationship (not that i want one) but what he does is not honest. he has betrayed me, even tho he has never slept with anyone else while we have been in our relationship, and he has only gone on one date in person with someone else throughout our entire relationship (that date ended up going nowhere). (not that he even takes ME out on dates & if he does make a plan to go to the movies or a basketball game he always ends up inviting our friends along everytime.)
He still treats me with love and care & does a lot of things for me , he supported us when we went through our financial struggles after i got in a car accident & couldn’t work, he is always here for me but doesn’t really let me be there for him. I owe him a lot of rent money from the time that i couldn’t work & he paid rent by himself. He doesn’t hold my debt over my head but he mentioned it to the girl on instagram . which made me feel betrayed.
I told him off about what i found in his phone & took pics of the evidence which ive never done before & sent it to him and i want to know if i’m overreacting to his betrayal or if i’m in the wrong for expecting loyalty from my 3 yr relationship. /:
TL;DR my bf is emotionally cheating on me with instagram girls and out of state poly girl.
thanks for reading

submitted by virgx_xo to relationships [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 19:19 virgx_xo bf is emotionally cheating on me

submitted by virgx_xo to amiwrong [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 19:00 GoodShipCrocodile What is a good compact camera for work that will allow me to zoom in on text at a distance?

I am an electrical engineer who has to take pictures of electrical equipment. When designing I refer back to these pictures and I don't always know what information will be relevant when I take them. I currently use my iPhone camera but if I take a picture from a distance, small label text is blurry. I commentate by following with closeups but I frequently miss important information.
The older engineer in the office uses a large Nikon that is 10-15 years old and he can zoom in on small text on pics taken from 10 feet away in indoor light.
I don't want to haul around a giant camera, but I would like more useful pictures. I know the physics of his lens size are a big factor.
I don't have a hard budget in mind but I would think I would want to stick to $200 - $300 to justify the purchase.
Thank you for any feedback you can provide.

submitted by GoodShipCrocodile to AskPhotography [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 18:50 SophiaShay1 Your medication journey

Hi, I'm at my wits end. I have lightheadedness, dizziness, am always hot, my heart races, my pulse races, brain fog, chronic fatigue, depression, anxiety, and sleep disturbances. For those of you who have symptoms like mine, I'm really interested in finding out which off labels or combination off-label medications and supplements work for you.
I've been doing a ton of research on antidepressants particularly TCAs and Atypicals. Beta blockers like propranolol. The muscle relaxer cardisoprodol. I'm interested if anyone is currently using a low dose of Lexapro and Savella. I'm also interested in supplements like astralagus and NAC. especially things that are not well known and can treat my above symptoms.
Thank you in advance for sharing your journey.

submitted by SophiaShay1 to Fibromyalgia [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 18:39 Masta-Blasta Old post from a deleted account accusing Drake of trafficking minors

submitted by Masta-Blasta to DarkKenny [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 18:28 BleepBlimpBop $RILY DD: Long List of Short Seller Claims --- DEBUNKED with proof!

Ever-shifting Short Seller Claims

The short sellers attacking RILY in 2023-2024 have been relentless, with an ever-shifting list of wild accusations.
It's sickening to watch them compile a never-ending list of baseless wild theories and claims to support their short positions, which are demonstrably false. But as each is proved false, they pivot to new claims, and/or change the goalposts.
The sheer volume of shifting claims makes it hard to track how despotic they are with their "platform," and how many falsehoods they've spun. Even for someone who watched it in real-time, for almost a year

Compiled & Debunked

Sunlight kills vampires. To that end, I've compiled a list of (i) claimants (ii) claims (iii) reality (iv) definitive source proving reality.

Why Did They Target RILY?

One of the most vocal short sellers, Nate Koppikar (who also introduced Marc Cohodes to the "opportunity") has a fund Orso Partners. Based on their SEC registration document, this is their investment thesis:
"The Account’s investment objectives are to achieve capital appreciation primarily by identifying and selling short marketable equity securities of underfollowed and complex companies with misleading or corrective disclosures through a research-intensive process. The Account employs a short-biased investment strategy with an emphasis on primarily small to mid-cap companies that are underfollowed and complex (i.e., companies with market capitalizations of less than $5 billion which the market does not yet have a wellformed bull and/or bear perspective)."
RILY fits their description. The icing on the cake was the relatively large market cap, and the relatively small float. Given extremely high insider ownership (32.9% of shares per the proxy), and limitations on when and how insiders can trade, the "free float" of the stock (i.e., the shares that regularly trade) is very small for the size of the company. Moreover, the setup would only get better - given insiders have consistently used their free cash to buy additional shares hand-over-fist (further reducing the float).
That meant, with relatively small amounts of capital, the short sellers could shove around the stock price. That ability to move price opens another profit avenue - taking large derivative positions (buying puts, and selling calls), and shoving the price (or allowing it to drift up) to profit all along the way. It looked so good, the stock has been the highest-shorted on the US indices for several months. Even after the release of the 10-K, shares remain "hard to borrow" with elevated borrow fees.

Debunked Claims

The claims made by vocal short sellers could fill a book. Most were outrageous and fanciful when they were proposed. Virtually all have objectively debunked. This isn't a comprehensive list, as their claims are too numerous and varied. But it paints an illuminating picture.
With a track record this poor, one would expect the short sellers to exit - rather than continuing to spin new narratives. Perhaps the continued attacks are their exit strategy to avoid bankruptcy... Well, #Bullish.
With the highest short interest of all US stocks (albeit likely decreased from the highs of ~76% of the float), I think this is more than ripe for a return to fair value - or well above, if a short squeeze occurs.
Note that the list below deliberately excludes three types of posts/claims from the short sellers:
A) Juvenile personal attacks and attempts to character assassinate and dox a long list of people (RILY CEO, RILY new hires, RILY clients, Marcum the auditor, Marcum's lead audit professional, any firm or individual publicly posting a bull thesis on RILY, etc.).
B) Those that make no objective claims, but simply exist as a product of malicious degeneracy (like pictures of roasted pigs in ovens labeled Bryant Riley the CEO, photoshopped pictures of the CEO in prison chains next to convicted felons, video of an obese woman barely able to walk being gored by a bull labeled Mrs. Riley the CEO's wife, etc.).
C) Those that are impossible for short sellers to know, and impossible to objectively verify (e.g., Marc Cohodes claiming a single RILY trader front runs the CEOs personal short trades in front of clients taking following the firm's bullish advice on those stocks, to guarantee profits).

Claimant	Claim	Reality
1) Wolfpack	Wolfpack “RILY will record investment losses of up to ~$700 million in 2023” FALSE 10-K	FALSE
2) Wolfpack	“new loan to CORZQ will work out just as badly as the last and end in default (again) before June 2023”	FALSE Repaid in full, early, on 1/6/2024.
3) Wolfpack	“The coupon rate on RILY’s seven issues of baby bonds ranges from 5% to 6.75%, which we believe to be far too low to compensate investors for the existential risk that accompanies these securities.”	FALSE Full redemption of May 2024 came early. Far more than sufficient cash to cover debt payments.
4) Wolfpack	“According to our analysis, 4 of RILY’s largest 7 corporate borrowers with outstanding loan balances of $295.3 million are at a high risk of default, or in the case of CORZQ, is already in default.”	FALSE a. Core Scientific Inc. repaid early and in full ($111MM of the “risk”) b. Exela Technologies repaid term loan in full ($55.8MM of the “risk”) c. Arena Group Holdings debt retired in full ($99MM of the “risk”). Publicly disclosed in the most recent 10-K for each company (search for "Riley" in the filing)
5) Wolfpack	“RILY’s NAV is Far Below the $1.1 Billion Minimum NAV Requirement That Is Required for the Nomura Credit Agreement Putting RILY at Risk of Collapse in 2023”	FALSE RILY is in full compliance with the Nomura credit agreement. Moreover, reflecting the strength of the relationship, Nomura even granted a no-fee extension when the 10-K filing was delayed. Also see 10-K for current status.
6) Wolfpack	“Over $200 Million of the Goodwill and Intangible Assets on RILY’s Balance Sheet is Attributable to its Telecom Rollup, which is Centered on Dial-up and DSL Internet:” - criticizing them as dying businesses with no value	FALSE Segment is extremely valuable. From just 2020 to 2023, the communications segment has returned over $212.2MM in adjusted EBITDA.
7) Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various	RILY committed fraud with loans and closing the FRG acquisition. "The fact $RILY closed the FRG deal while hiding the Kahn loan - an all PIK defaulted loan backed by $FRG shares - is a Hall of Fame worthy act of fraud. I thought after Enron/Sarbox we couldn't have something like this happen in US markets."	FALSE A law firm led an internal investigation, and an independent external investigation both found “The review confirmed what the Company previously disclosed: that the Company and its executives, including Bryant Riley, had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Prophecy.” “The results of the independent investigation confirmed that the Company and its executives had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Mr. Kahn or any of his affiliates. This independent investigation was conducted subsequent to the Company's February 22, 2024 disclosure of the internal review performed with the assistance of Sullivan & Cromwell LLP as outside counsel.” Also see 10-K
8) Marc Cohodes (AlderlaneEggs), ParrotCapital, Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various	The 10-K will never be filed. They can't produce audited financials.	FALSE Audited 10-K was filed. Delay was due to Audit committee fulfilling its responsibilities and proactively conducting investigations (internal and external).
9) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) + Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate) + ParrotCapital	Sullivan and Cromwell knew about Massive Fraud, and did a "sham investigation"	FALSE Sullivan and Cromwell is one of the most respected law firms, in the US and worldwide. "Sullivan & Cromwell continues to lead all law firm advisers in announced and completed global deals in 2023, according to Bloomberg and LSEG. The Firm advised on global announced deals totaling more than $345 billion, representing a 12.1 percent market share, per Bloomberg, and on completed global deals totaling more than $431 billion, representing a 16.9 percent market share, per LSEG." They're not compromising themselves for a relatively small client.
10) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear), Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Parrot Capital	Marcum is enabling Massive Fraud	FALSE Marcum is a respected audit firm, and 13th largest by revenue. "Marcum LLP advanced into the Top 15 in the 2023 Vault Accounting list of top-ranked accounting firms. Marcum climbed six levels to the No. 13 ranking overall and earned a ranking of 14 in prestige. The Firm also won Top 20 rankings across all Practice Area, Quality of Life, and Diversity categories, including several new classifications added this year."
11) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	Nomura is enabling Massive Fraud	FALSE Nomura is a global financial services company, and the oldest brokerage firm in Japan. They operate in a highly regulated industry. They're not putting themselves on the line for a relatively small client.
12) Parrot Capital	"The list of $RILY enablers is massive: Marcum LLP, Sullivan and Cromwell, Seeking Alpha, Holbrook Holdings, $AX Axos Bank, Many, many more."	FALSE There's no global conspiracy whereby these companies - all respected law firms, auditors, banks, and media outlets - are collectively colluding to enable RILY to commit fraud. Requires only two brain cells and one functioning synapse to know there's no grand collusion cabal between these disparate companies.
13) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Jonathan Weil at WSJ	Franchise Group shares used to secure Kahn loan: "It is unclear whether Kahn pledged the same shares twice—to both Prophecy and B. Riley."	FALSE As stated by the company, Simple UCC search disproves this. UCC # 202302295747
14) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	“Bryant Riley is on the Road, telling people the ‘audit partner at Marcum left’ and that ‘I have made mistakes’ “	FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this year’s audit.
15) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	"So it turns out James La Rocca was Fired by MarcumLLP If nothing was wrong with prior $RILY Audits, why is he gone? This will be great in discovery of what exactly went on.	FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this year’s audit.
16) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear)	“So Bryant Riley did disseminate MNPI back in March” in response to Cohodes claim that he told people the Marcum partner left	FALSE Cohodes claimed Bryant Riley was telling people the Marcum auditor left. Koppikar called that disseminating MNPI. Cohodes statement was false (and thus Koppikar's derivate claim is also false). A different auditor worked on RILY, as Marcum follows the SEC rules; the lead auditor can only serve the client for 5 consecutive years. As such, Koppikar’s derivative claim of disseminating MNPI is false.
17) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear)	“He appears to still not be familiar with the voting interest model of consolidation… why is a life science and tech partner signing an extremely complex investment company / broker dealer audit ???” i.e., auditor is unqualified	FALSE The auditor is fully qualified. Marcum is a highly respected auditor; they don't hire unqualified people, or assign them to clients they're unqualified to audit. RILY is continuing to use Marcum as the 2024 auditor.
18) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	"Now that the $RILY dividend is going away, this omission is serious stuff"	FALSE The dividend did not go away. It was reduced from $1.00/share to $0.50/share, to allow them to opportunistically allocate capital. 23Q4 and 24Q1

No source images included for the claims, as this sub disallows images in posts and comments. Images can be seen on a version of this posted to a sub that discusses RILY. All claims can be sourced on the various social media venues and websites utilized by the short sellers. Other sources include: https://wolfpackresearch.com/research/rily/ and here https://friendlybearresearch.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/RILY-Analyst-Day-Questions-12_11_13-Final.pdf and https://www.institutionalinvestor.com/article/2cpgaejc45gocvoqb1ngg/corner-office/how-b-riley-garnered-the-biggest-short-interest-of-2023 and https://www.wsj.com/finance/how-an-unremarkable-deal-became-a-big-threat-to-a-small-investment-bank-f819a169 . https://adviserinfo.sec.gov/firm/summary/304196 form ADV. This is not financial advice. All claim summarizations reflect my interpretation of the short seller claims, and should be verified against original sources, along with all counters. Due to Reddit image attachment limits, not all source images are included (but any missing can be found on TwitteX or other publicly available sources).

submitted by BleepBlimpBop to WallStreetbetsELITE [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 18:27 virgx_xo AIO bf is emotionally cheating on me

This is really hard for me to talk about because I struggle to understand & accept it and I don’t talk to anyone irl about it which sometimes sucks & makes me feel alone. So I’m gonna try this & see if anyone has anything useful to tell me bc I could really use any advice or support right now that I can get. This might be a long story so I’m sorry in advance.
I’m 22 and I’ve lived with my bf (24) for 3 years. We do everything together and in my opinion we’re very close and alike but in his opinion the love that we have/the love he gets from me is not enough bc about a year & a half into living together, we went thru some money struggles & his loss of a close family member which really affected him and he hasn’t really been completely the same since. But even before that loss, about a year & a half into our relationship, he decided to tell me that he’s decided he’s poly. Which I don’t agree with and I’ve made it clear. And I know the normal thing to do in that situation is go okay, well you need to leave him because you both aren’t on the same page with what you want in your relationship. I just want him to choose me and put me first like i do to him, he means everything to me. He is actually the only family i really have which is why it’s extremely hard for me to leave him. but i can feel him slowly slipping away from me. And i have tried to end things before kind of a lot of times, but we never end up following thru with it bc he apologizes, lies & says he’ll choose me over “being poly” , delete all the dating apps, stop liking naked pictures, or whatever the case may be at the time. Or he has said in the past he would go crazy & they would have to put him in a mental hospital if we broke up, bc he can’t handle another loss after his close family member passed. So obviously i feel guilty. I always just hoped in the back of my mind that one day he would wake up from this bullshit and stop with the “poly” phase and be loyal. But it’s not happening. & he always gets back on the dating apps or whatever else he does and acts like i’m in the wrong for not letting him “be who he is” which is “poly”.
In my opinion it’s one thing if he had made this great revelation BEFORE we started dating but it just makes me feel tricked that he didn’t mention it ever once UNTIL we had been living together for like a year already. Bc if he told me that when I met him I never would’ve dated him and I never would’ve fallen in love with him and moved in with him.
I look at his phone about once every 3-6 months & every time i do i find something new & bad. He always turns it on me saying i’m in the wrong for going thru it but I really wish I didn’t have to do that but if i didn’t i would never find out anything. Bc he claims he doesn’t want to waste my time with telling me about someone who’s just playing with him (like something that’s not serious) bc he hasn’t found any girl willing to go fuck off and be poly with him (i don’t think any girl like that actually exists.) despite his ongoing search for a new girlfriend (or “connection”). but yet i feel lied to bc when i look at his instagram he acts single & he dms so many random girls LUSTFULLY. And it’s so embarrassing. On top of that girls rarely reply to him bc no one wants a random man lusting in their dms. I had no idea this was the type of person he was or i wouldn’t be with him. And when i ask him about it he lies or covers it up saying he’s not like that and he isn’t lustful & that being poly isn’t about sex it’s about forming a connection with multiple people. Well if it wasn’t about sex then he wouldn’t be lusting after random girls in their dms. And btw instagram has been an issue in the past due to me finding out he hearted a pic of a girl he knew, basically a nude or a bikini pic. And the way that situation went was that he said omg i’ll delete my whole instagram and i’m done with it since this is a problem. But i told him no stop saying that shit you know you don’t mean it and you’ll be back on it in 3 days. He’s like no i mean it and yeah then in three days he was back on it. This happened a few times with other apps like tinder and every time i’m like please just save it bc we both know you saying you’re permanently off these apps isn’t true.
I don’t even have instagram anymore ever since i saw the bikini pic bc i just didn’t want to spend my energy anymore feeling like i wasn’t as pretty as the girls he follows or interacts with, so i actually followed thru and deactivated my whole account & haven’t been on it since. (at least a year) other than that i don’t use SM other than reddit & lurking on twitter sometimes & watching tiktoks. I’m not a SM girlie it not that I’m not pretty ( not trying to sound narcissistic) but i’m not an ugly girl i just really prefer privacy and don’t like posting myself online. But seemingly my bfs type is SM wh-res and i’m truly not judging the girls, I’m judging my bf.
This morning i looked at his instagram and found some extremely NSFW dms from him to a few random girls & found message conversations with a girl that’s poly that’s out of our state that he talks to often & opens up to her about things he doesn’t open up to me about, and gives her the nicest compliments that he never gives me, says she’s the prettiest girl he’s seen, sympathies w her over her personal struggles w life & relationships, calls the girl his soulmate & says they share a brain, complains about me not accepting him being poly & going thru his phone and being “threatened” by her & has shared some personal details about my life that i don’t share with people even my close friends. and much more. however he still spins it on me being in the wrong for not accepting him and going thru his phone. he never takes accountability for what he does & always lies about it not being as bad as it is and that i’m reading into things. the problem is i don’t believe what he does is poly i believe it to be CHEATING. I believe it is possible to have an honest poly relationship (not that i want one) but what he does is not honest. he has betrayed me, even tho he has never slept with anyone else while we have been in our relationship, and he has only gone on one date in person with someone else throughout our entire relationship (that date ended up going nowhere). (not that he even takes ME out on dates & if he does make a plan to go to the movies or a basketball game he always ends up inviting our friends along everytime.)
He still treats me with love and care & does a lot of things for me , he supported us when we went through our financial struggles after i got in a car accident & couldn’t work, he is always here for me but doesn’t really let me be there for him. I owe him a lot of rent money from the time that i couldn’t work & he paid rent by himself. He doesn’t hold my debt over my head but he mentioned it to the girl on instagram . which made me feel betrayed.
I told him off about what i found in his phone & took pics of the evidence which ive never done before & sent it to him and i want to know if i’m overreacting to his betrayal or if i’m in the wrong for expecting loyalty from my 3 yr relationship. /:
AIO my bf is emotionally cheating on me with instagram girls and out of state poly girl.
thanks for reading

submitted by virgx_xo to AmIOverreacting [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 18:23 BleepBlimpBop $RILY: Long List of Short Seller Claims --- DEBUNKED

Ever-shifting Short Seller Claims

Compiled & Debunked

Sunlight kills vampires. To that end, I've compiled a list of (i) claimants (ii) claims (iii) reality (iv) definitive source proving reality.

Why Did They Target RILY?

Debunked Claims

Claimant	Claim	Reality
1) Wolfpack	Wolfpack “RILY will record investment losses of up to ~$700 million in 2023” FALSE 10-K	FALSE
2) Wolfpack	“new loan to CORZQ will work out just as badly as the last and end in default (again) before June 2023”	FALSE Repaid in full, early, on 1/6/2024.
3) Wolfpack	“The coupon rate on RILY’s seven issues of baby bonds ranges from 5% to 6.75%, which we believe to be far too low to compensate investors for the existential risk that accompanies these securities.”	FALSE Full redemption of May 2024 came early. Far more than sufficient cash to cover debt payments.
4) Wolfpack	“According to our analysis, 4 of RILY’s largest 7 corporate borrowers with outstanding loan balances of $295.3 million are at a high risk of default, or in the case of CORZQ, is already in default.”	FALSE a. Core Scientific Inc. repaid early and in full ($111MM of the “risk”) b. Exela Technologies repaid term loan in full ($55.8MM of the “risk”) c. Arena Group Holdings debt retired in full ($99MM of the “risk”). Publicly disclosed in the most recent 10-K for each company (search for "Riley" in the filing)
5) Wolfpack	“RILY’s NAV is Far Below the $1.1 Billion Minimum NAV Requirement That Is Required for the Nomura Credit Agreement Putting RILY at Risk of Collapse in 2023”	FALSE RILY is in full compliance with the Nomura credit agreement. Moreover, reflecting the strength of the relationship, Nomura even granted a no-fee extension when the 10-K filing was delayed. Also see 10-K for current status.
6) Wolfpack	“Over $200 Million of the Goodwill and Intangible Assets on RILY’s Balance Sheet is Attributable to its Telecom Rollup, which is Centered on Dial-up and DSL Internet:” - criticizing them as dying businesses with no value	FALSE Segment is extremely valuable. From just 2020 to 2023, the communications segment has returned over $212.2MM in adjusted EBITDA.
7) Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various	RILY committed fraud with loans and closing the FRG acquisition. "The fact $RILY closed the FRG deal while hiding the Kahn loan - an all PIK defaulted loan backed by $FRG shares - is a Hall of Fame worthy act of fraud. I thought after Enron/Sarbox we couldn't have something like this happen in US markets."	FALSE A law firm led an internal investigation, and an independent external investigation both found “The review confirmed what the Company previously disclosed: that the Company and its executives, including Bryant Riley, had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Prophecy.” “The results of the independent investigation confirmed that the Company and its executives had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Mr. Kahn or any of his affiliates. This independent investigation was conducted subsequent to the Company's February 22, 2024 disclosure of the internal review performed with the assistance of Sullivan & Cromwell LLP as outside counsel.” Also see 10-K
8) Marc Cohodes (AlderlaneEggs), ParrotCapital, Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various	The 10-K will never be filed. They can't produce audited financials.	FALSE Audited 10-K was filed. Delay was due to Audit committee fulfilling its responsibilities and proactively conducting investigations (internal and external).
9) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) + Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate) + ParrotCapital	Sullivan and Cromwell knew about Massive Fraud, and did a "sham investigation"	FALSE Sullivan and Cromwell is one of the most respected law firms, in the US and worldwide. "Sullivan & Cromwell continues to lead all law firm advisers in announced and completed global deals in 2023, according to Bloomberg and LSEG. The Firm advised on global announced deals totaling more than $345 billion, representing a 12.1 percent market share, per Bloomberg, and on completed global deals totaling more than $431 billion, representing a 16.9 percent market share, per LSEG." They're not compromising themselves for a relatively small client.
10) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear), Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Parrot Capital	Marcum is enabling Massive Fraud	FALSE Marcum is a respected audit firm, and 13th largest by revenue. "Marcum LLP advanced into the Top 15 in the 2023 Vault Accounting list of top-ranked accounting firms. Marcum climbed six levels to the No. 13 ranking overall and earned a ranking of 14 in prestige. The Firm also won Top 20 rankings across all Practice Area, Quality of Life, and Diversity categories, including several new classifications added this year."
11) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	Nomura is enabling Massive Fraud	FALSE Nomura is a global financial services company, and the oldest brokerage firm in Japan. They operate in a highly regulated industry. They're not putting themselves on the line for a relatively small client.
12) Parrot Capital	"The list of $RILY enablers is massive: Marcum LLP, Sullivan and Cromwell, Seeking Alpha, Holbrook Holdings, $AX Axos Bank, Many, many more."	FALSE There's no global conspiracy whereby these companies - all respected law firms, auditors, banks, and media outlets - are collectively colluding to enable RILY to commit fraud. Requires only two brain cells and one functioning synapse to know there's no grand collusion cabal between these disparate companies.
13) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Jonathan Weil at WSJ	Franchise Group shares used to secure Kahn loan: "It is unclear whether Kahn pledged the same shares twice—to both Prophecy and B. Riley."	FALSE As stated by the company, Simple UCC search disproves this. UCC # 202302295747
14) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	“Bryant Riley is on the Road, telling people the ‘audit partner at Marcum left’ and that ‘I have made mistakes’ “	FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this year’s audit.
15) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	"So it turns out James La Rocca was Fired by MarcumLLP If nothing was wrong with prior $RILY Audits, why is he gone? This will be great in discovery of what exactly went on.	FALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had hit the 5yr SEC rule, so he was never working on this year’s audit.
16) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear)	“So Bryant Riley did disseminate MNPI back in March” in response to Cohodes claim that he told people the Marcum partner left	FALSE Cohodes claimed Bryant Riley was telling people the Marcum auditor left. Koppikar called that disseminating MNPI. Cohodes statement was false (and thus Koppikar's derivate claim is also false). A different auditor worked on RILY, as Marcum follows the SEC rules; the lead auditor can only serve the client for 5 consecutive years. As such, Koppikar’s derivative claim of disseminating MNPI is false.
17) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear)	“He appears to still not be familiar with the voting interest model of consolidation… why is a life science and tech partner signing an extremely complex investment company / broker dealer audit ???” i.e., auditor is unqualified	FALSE The auditor is fully qualified. Marcum is a highly respected auditor; they don't hire unqualified people, or assign them to clients they're unqualified to audit. RILY is continuing to use Marcum as the 2024 auditor.
18) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	"Now that the $RILY dividend is going away, this omission is serious stuff"	FALSE The dividend did not go away. It was reduced from $1.00/share to $0.50/share, to allow them to opportunistically allocate capital. 23Q4 and 24Q1
19) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	"$RILY doesn't make it till Easter... I will say it again and again.."	FALSE They made it, filed a 10-K and paid a dividend, filed a 10-Q and are paying a dividend, and are chugging along. With stock price 50% higher than when this claim was made.

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2024.05.21 17:22 Amandacgxo The obsession is real/ possible LW reveal thoughts

I do not know what is going on and what the whole bridgerton cast and crew did this season but…. The amount of obsession I have with this show right now is killing me. 😭 I have never been so obsessed with a show in my life. I truly feel like it is because Luke & Nic play the part so so well that is so so attractive and keeps me wanting more (and it’s feeding my delulu brain. Like how can yall do a WHOLE scene like the carriage scene and not be attracted to one another. The professionalism is real 😩, & knowing also that the carriage scene was TAME compared to other scenes. We’re not ready for part 2😭).
It’s been so hard to stop watching (especially knowing that they also came up with stuff in their intimate scenes and had a lot of say in the show and how they wanted it to be). I have loved bridgerton since season 1 but this season is just something completely different. I’ve also just loved Pen since season 1 so I think I’ve been more invested in her story and finally being with Colin than anyone else’s story. Like their interactions, the chemistry, I just don’t know what to do. This is all too much. Like why are they so so good together!!!!🥲 I don’t even know who I am anymore. This season has completely consumed me🥵
Also, this is so off topic but does anyone think we are getting a second carriage ride?? I’ve seen some leaked photos and it looks like Colin may follow Pen to the printer shop and find out she’s lady W. Thats just what I’m getting from the pic but, do you think it will be some type of version from the book when he finds out she’s LW then they have their heated discussion??

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2024.05.21 16:59 karenvideoeditor The Zoo [Part 2]

Previous
So, if you’re just joining us, I work at a haunted zoo now. Since I’ve gotten some rest, it feels like I’ve got my head on straight, at least, so I’d like to continue where I left off.
I sat on the floor in the office after meeting the ghost until I’d settled my rattled mind (and realized I’d forgotten to ask her name, how rude is that?). I took a deep breath and got up off the floor. Walking over and falling into the rolling chair in front of the large screen of camera views, when I brought up the camera that covered the area in which I’d spotted her, she was still there, and it seemed she hadn’t moved an inch.
Sitting there, at a loss, I continued to watch her. The ghost hung around for another five minutes or so, appearing to look at a few things off-screen, though I’m not sure what. Then she walked off into the forest and left the view of the cameras. I wasn’t sure if she vanished into the ether or if she’d gone looking into the trees to look for something.
But that wasn’t the end of the job interview, so let me jump back there. It continued into what kind of animals the zoo had, with Andrew asking me how much experience I had with dangerous animals.
I took a moment to consider the question. “So, ah…I’ve been going hunting and fishing with a neighbor since I was sixteen,” I told him. “We always have to keep an eye out for gators, bears, and hogs. Then there’s snakes, of course…snapping turtles… Since I’ve lived here my whole life and been aiming for a job with wildlife for a long time, I know a lot about the animals in Arkansas in general. But good advice for all of the above is avoid them, so I’ve had encounters, but I don’t know if you’d say I have experience with them.”
“That’s fine,” Andrew said, nodding. “That’s an answer I’m satisfied with. Now, the ghost was the appetizer, Ripley; here’s the main course. To start with, the pay isn’t twenty-five an hour. It’s fifty.”
Staring in shock for a moment, I asked, “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. But that’d be weird to post online considering what applicants think we need, so I halved it.”
“That’s… Okay, why?”
“The animals are already here. You just can’t see them.”
I stared at him for a long moment, some disbelief worming its way into my expression, before saying, “Sorry, what?”
“There’s a chance you’d naturally never see them, or at least some of them,” he continued casually. “It depends on both your genetics and how long you stay on the job. I can naturally see six of them, but that’s it. Suzanne can see all of them, and more. Some are what people would label demons or ghosts. Or magic. Mostly you’d call them cryptids. The ghost was just a warm-up; I mentioned her first because it never takes more than a week to see her if you work the night shift. If you manage to handle her okay, soon you’ll be able to see the animals too. The more time you spend on the grounds, for weird reasons,” he said, wiggling his fingers in the direction of the back door, “the more you’ll be able to see.”
“So, this…this is a zoo for cryptids,” I echoed slowly. He nodded once, waiting to find out what kind of reaction I would have. I gestured vaguely around the room. “If this is a hidden camera show, will you cut me a check for showing up and participating?”
Andrew coughed out a chuckle and shook his head. “No joke. There are a ton of stories out there that have been written to death, pulverized until they’re not the Grimm stories of old and instead they’re Disney films. A lot of those stories come from what some humans have seen. There are dozens of other worlds pressed up against ours, and occasionally things come through by accident. If they’re smart, they’ll lay low and then make their way back when they can. If not, they become local folklore until someone helps them back. I’m just from London, but Suzanne is from somewhere else. She hires people like us for this zoo. Humans.”
Sighing, I shook my head. “That makes no sense. Why would she hire a muggle for a magic zoo?”
Andrew burst out laughing at that, and then waited to gather himself before he continued. “Fair point, but this is less about magic and more about animals, and you’re missing some information that will explain it. First of all, if I misjudge an employee, and they think they can make bank by outing the endangered and valuable animals we have, it’s easy to relocate the zoo.”
“Because magic?” I asked.
“Exactly,” he replied, ignoring the thread of skepticism in my tone. “That means it isn’t the end of the world if that happened, though it is a pain in the arse. But second…let me ask you a question. Speaking of reality shows, say the Discovery Channel put out a call to replace Steve Irwin when he passed. Imagine they had a line out the door,” he said with a gesture, “of people who thought they had the skill and natural talent to replace him, to take on everything he’d been doing his whole life. How many do you reckon would lose an arm, a leg, or their life, by the end of the day?”
My lips parted in surprise and I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re saying people from…wherever…they’re just as dumb as humans, but they’re worse, because they actually think they can handle these things.”
Andrew pointed the pen at me. “Things. Exactly. You called them things. Suzanne and her friends grew up with them and would call them animals. These animals have dispositions and temperaments that we’ve studied for as long as there have been scientists. Where Suzanne’s from, they know the weaknesses of these animals, and also they’re in enclosures here, even if you and I can’t see the walls because they’re invisible things called ‘wards’. If I hire someone who’s got magic on top of all that, they’ll have almost no instinctive fear.
“Everything here is nocturnal, and every one of them is a hunter. Some of these things? Humans see them and they pass out. Not that I want you passing out, but I need someone who is scared of these things, who knows to stay out of the enclosures no matter what. Not someone who thinks they can train them to do tricks, who gets close enough for them to grab a mouthful of hair and drown them. Once, we had a night shift manager injured, and once killed, because they didn’t take these animals seriously enough.”
Thinking back to the Sea World orca incident I knew he’d been referencing, I remembered wondering how someone at that level of her profession could be so careless as I watched the video on YouTube. It made sense when he explained it like that. I hesitated before mentally throwing my hands up and going all in. “So, why put this place here, then? If they’re endangered and also dangerous, why have a zoo at all instead of just a small reserve?”
He pursed his lips, looking disappointed in me. “Ripley. You know that already. You already said as much.”
Thinking back through our conversation, I said, “The rich humans who pay top dollar to see supernatural animals.”
“Not humans,” he told me. “But people, yes, and they are rich, and they’re making donations and spending their money on a ticket here because everything we have is endangered.”
“So…”
I just let my voice trail off and my mind started to drift. Andrew remained silent, letting me do so. There’s that thing people say, ‘I believe that you believe it,’ which is just a kinder way of saying, ‘Bullshit.’ Parents say it about closet monsters. Psychologists say it to people who say they’ve been abducted and probed by aliens. I wanted to say it to Andrew.
But I also wanted a job. If it meant working overnight at an empty zoo, that was fine. When it came down to it, especially when I took the tone of our conversation into account, this was a zoo specifically focused on preserving endangered ‘animals’, and it was allegedly doing important work. Also, if this turned out to be the real deal and I started seeing the animals, I would deal with it, just like I would deal with an enclosure that had a lion or tiger or gorilla. If it came with a ghost and invisible creatures, I really didn’t see what the difference was, if I couldn’t go in the enclosures either way.
On that note, I’d like you to imagine a kid who looks at a roller coaster, watching everyone screaming and grinning as they go up and down and all around and they’re like, ‘Heck, I could do that! That looks like a blast!’
Then they get on, the first drop hits, and they realize they’ve made a terrible mistake.
“All right,” I sighed. “I can’t say I’m going to turn down a job just because it’s going to be scary. Especially not one with this paycheck.”
Andrew smiled. “Awesome. There’s an adjustment process for anyone working here, similar to a dog that gets adopted, actually. I know the general guidelines of, ‘three days, three weeks, three months’ in terms of milestones, until they finally feel they’re where they’re supposed to be,” he told me, “and you can think of your time here along those lines. I really think you’re a great fit, and once you reach the milestone of working here for three months, I’ll officially consider you our new night shift guard. And I hope you’ll stay with us for many years.”
I nodded and smiled at the flattery of an employer wanting me to work a great job for them for a long time. I’d never had a dog, but those milestones were well-known among anyone who knew animals, especially dogs. The first three days, the dog is getting to know its new digs, exploring, and decompressing. At three weeks, they’ve gotten used to their environment and are starting to get comfortable with their surroundings and the routines of the humans they live with. By three months, they know the rules and follow them, they trust you, and they feel they are where they’re meant to be. I could only hope to be so lucky.
I saw the ghost two days ago and she has yet to make another appearance (for those who are curious, I asked, and her name is Leila), and I still hadn’t seen any animals. I did hear one, though, I feel compelled to note. A growling roar sounded from the lake on occasion, echoing across the vast zoo, sending a shiver down my spine. Whatever that animal was, it sounded gigantic.
Andrew said there was apparently a group that wanted to visit for a birthday and they were offering a huge donation, so he let me know they were making an exception and that this group would be walking through the park that night. That meant I’d be watching people watching animals that, as far as I could tell, weren’t there.
It was anticlimactic. Even the three people who came for the tour just looked like people, not like aliens or something eldritch from another dimension, and I stayed in the security office the whole time. Andrew was the one giving the tour. I watched them spend about five minutes at each enclosure, the hour or so that they were there passing without incident. It was clear that they were able to see all the animals, though, since they motioned excitedly at each enclosure and spoke to Andrew, who presumably answered any questions they had.
If they could see the animals, that was that. There was still that niggle in the back of my head, from my twenty-three years of life never encountering anything like ghosts or cryptids, telling me that this was ridiculous. Waiting for someone to knock on the door, a camera mounted on their shoulder, to tell me that it was a big joke and they wanted to see how long I’d play along. But from all I saw, this was a real place with real, invisible animals.
I do carry a taser and pepper spray in my capacity as a security guard. Though it isn’t for the animals, since they’re in the enclosures; they’re actually for the rare instance of a break-in. Andrew mentioned that it had happened several times it the past, someone trying to steal an animal in the hopes of selling it on the black market. They’d been successful before, but apparently my predecessor Roger was good at his job, and mostly they left in handcuffs.
I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge fan of confrontation, but my job was to call Andrew and then confront the person, not kick their ass. That’s what the police were for, or rather, the people Andrew would call in lieu of police in certain situations.
Fifty bucks an hour. That’s the key here.
Andrew hadn’t set up direct deposit, since he was sticking with a strategy of waiting to see if I’d continue to work there once I found out myself dealing with the animals (I’ve decided I am going to just call them animals). Instead, I got an old-fashioned check after my shift every Friday. The number on the first check was delightful. I went out that evening and had a big dinner at the local diner, order my most expensive favorites on the menu and a big slice of pie for dessert.
When it came to the paychecks in general, though, I had this weird feeling of not wanting to tell my dad and brother about the fact that it was actually $50/hr. I previously mentioned that my dad, his name’s Nathan if you’re curious, works at a local grocery store. Our town has a couple food franchises, but I think its size is just short of whatever threshold Walmart uses to decide where to open. He earns $14/hr. and that’s after the tiny raises he’s gotten over the past thirteen years.
That’s not to say he’d feel bad about not making as much as me. On the contrary, he would be ecstatic for me and really proud. But, like me, he’d be suspicious. That hourly rate was the biggest hint that this was more than just a private zoo for cryptids. And as soon as that fat check cleared without problems, my dad wouldn’t be satisfied with reassurances; he’d want to come visit the zoo and look around.
I’d told him it’s a private preservation with scheduled (expensive) visits only and that it had only eleven animals, so he’d been appeased by me brushing off the idea of a visit. Also, I took a few photos of my workplace; one of the security room, one of me sitting in my chair, one photo of the many screens I watched, and a selfie where I was feigning sleep out of boredom, slouched in my chair with my mouth open in a faux snore. That let him feel like he knew where I was and what I was doing, and that I was safe.
But if I told him I was making double what he thought, my father would practically order me to quit. No job was worth my safety, he’d tell me. I was quite of the opposite opinion, however, considering how crucial any and all conservation efforts were these days. Especially with the steep extinction levels due to humans competing with other animals for space, not to mention climate change. Working in any job that helped preserve species and keep ecosystems in balance, or put them back in balance, was so important.
Then again, my father would also point out something I had realized right away: the fact was that I was working with endangered species that were not from Earth. I wasn’t helping my planet. To be honest, though…that didn’t matter to me. Especially after that talk with Andrew about why he hired a human for this job, I figured whichever dimension these animals came from had the equivalent of us, razing forests to the ground, clouding the planet with pollution, and leaving the animals with no avenue of recourse when yet more land was taken from them.
I really do hope to keep working here for a long time, though, and not just because of the money. I can’t help it; I want to know what these things were, and I want to work with them, to do the job of a zookeeper. The same way you go up to the chain-link fence to get close to a carnivore on the other side who thinks you’d make a nice afternoon snack. You just want to be closer to them, to experience that incredible, daunting feeling of being in their presence.
Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t long before I got what I wanted.
The day after we had the tour go through, I was doing my sweep when I saw the ghost again. She was sitting on a small boulder in the same area I’d seen her the first time, looking identical, blood covering the front of her slashed shirt, the wounds visible underneath. I stopped and stood there for a moment before I decided to raise my hand in a small wave.
The young woman cocked her head at me and raised a hand in the air in an imitation of my gesture, her expression showing a bit of curiosity.
She was low-key, seemingly not concerned with my presence, looking at me as a novel phenomenon in her world. I wondered what that world consisted of. Was she always here, sometimes visible and sometimes not? Or did she have another world next to ours, in the ether, where she left everything in this world behind and floated in her disembodied form? Did she still feel emotions? Was that really curiosity on her face, or was I projecting? Did she feel happiness? Fear? Did she have the option of moving on, or was she stuck here?
Many questions that I might never get the answers to. And that was assuming Andrew knew the answers, since I’d never met Suzanne Cooper and he hadn’t even mentioned that possibility. This place was clearly her baby, but I’m sure running it was a lot of work. Plus, if she was rich enough to own it, she was rich enough to have other businesses and charities to run.
When it comes to the enclosures, they’re all wrapped by a barrier of some kind, though never one that seems adequate. There was not a single place with the ugly metal weavings of a chain-link fence, and no stretches of circular razor wire. Instead, there are nice fences. Black iron, or wrought steel fencing in a similar style to the one circling the perimeter of the zoo, just shorter and with different patterns. Or a spaced picket fence, the wood stained in some tone of brown, or a split two-rail fence. As if to say, ‘This is the border of your enclosure, but we’re just letting you know out of courtesy.’
When I started to pass enclosure number seven last night, a young woman’s voice spoke, “Hello.”
I startled, unaware that I hadn’t been alone. “Oh. Hi,” I said, staring at her standing a few yards in.
She had been next to a large tree and I hadn’t seen her. This enclosure was behind a picket fence, and she walked through the large area of wild grasses and flowers that stretched across the other side of the fence. There were fewer tall grasses closer to the fence, which I guessed was because it had been tromped down by her regular pacing along it when there were visitors, or if she wanted to see the various enclosures of the zoo. Her sudden appearance was a bit weird, considering I had been expecting to see a cryptid and instead I was looking at, it seemed, an attractive Asian woman.
She wore a black kimono, the soft silk robe draped gently over her body, with beautiful patterns of cherry blossoms, more so over her left side, and red and blue birds with their wings spread. A sash wrapped around her abdomen, she wore socks and sandals on her feet, and her hair was up in those rolls that gave volume to the style.
I was no expert on any fashion, much less that of another country, so I just assumed it was all traditional Japanese clothing. Most likely, the visitors who came liked to see a certain time-honored style and that’s what she stuck with. Or maybe she played on stereotypes. That would be amusing.
“I’m Yui. It’s nice to meet you,” she spoke, arriving at the border of the fence and holding out a hand for me to shake.
I’d been standing about three yards away from her, and I’ll be honest, muscle memory tried to kick in. But I only made it two steps, my hand starting to rise, before I froze, the hand falling limply at my side. “Nice to meet you, too,” I answered, my voice quiet.
Damn. I wonder how many times that honey trap works back where she comes from.
The pleasant look on her face faded, and she lowered her hand. “You won’t shake hands with me? Isn’t that rude?”
“I mean, I kind of like my hand where it is. You know, attached to me.”
Her demure smile widened into something more amused. “I would never do something so revolting.”
Looking her up and down, as if more visual information would give me more knowledge of what she was, I asked her, “What would you do?”
“I would be less wasteful,” she said softly.
A finger of ice trailed down my spine, and I had the sudden image in my head of her grabbing my outstretched hand in an iron grip and yanking me over the fence, leaving me to sprawl on the ground. Then killing and consuming me efficiently, without a single careless step, the same way humans slaughtered pigs, using everything from the hog but the squeal. I was struck with a shiver at the idea of her consuming everything from me but my screams.
Slowly, I took one step further down the path, then another. Just as I got to a walking pace, though, I realized the woman had started walking too, in the same direction. I’d have eventually gotten to the end of her enclosure and keep going, leaving her behind, but she spoke up. “Are you leaving?”
I came to a stop, meeting her gaze again. “My job is to walk the zoo every hour. Then I’ll get back to the security room and stay there until my next walk.”
“Have you met the others yet?”
I hesitated before saying, “Just Leila.”
She blinked languidly. “That means nobody welcomed you here.”
“Andrew did.”
She didn’t reply to that. Instead, she slowly started to lean forward, and I flinched backward a few steps further as I saw insect legs start curling out from her back.
No. Not insect. Arachnid.
The eight legs ended in small ‘paws’ with tiny claws, a layer of hairs covering the leg from top to bottom, like any typical tarantula. I took two more slow steps back and my mouth went dry as the jointed legs just kept lengthening, until they were large enough to lever her off the ground.
My gaze had been on the spider legs, but my heart skipped a beat as I realized her human legs had melded together and turned into a bulging abdomen. Her skin was shifting to a carapace, eventually all the way up to her shoulders and down her arms, her fingers elongating and her nails stretching to claws. From there down, her body was that of a pale tarantula with pedipalps the size of my arms and piercing fangs in her jaws that looked like they could take my head off.
There was a moment, my vision blurring, where I was worried that I might piss myself. The part of my brain that still had its humor intact in that moment told me that I should keep an emergency set of clothes in my car, or at the very least, start wearing Depends to work.
“I show you my true form,” she said softly, her voice now raspy like an eighty-year-old after a lifelong smoking habit. “Welcome to Suzanne Cooper’s zoo. The night shift guard for many years was Roger, before he retired and the zoo moved, and I miss him dearly. What should I call you?”
I choked on my words. There was no way my throat was going to cooperate enough for me to clearly get a sentence out. Instead, I realized my legs had taken control of the situation themselves, unsatisfied with my conscious brain’s decision to stand and stare, taking steps backward. I backed up a yard, then five yards, then ten.
My mind focused on the fact that spiders don’t waste anything, and pictured my demise. I’d be wrapped in a cocoon, killed, and made nice and mushy before she had me for dinner.
The whole time, my brain was a frenzied mess, my pupils were probably the size of dimes, and I was staring at that tiny, pathetic fence between her and me. There was so much adrenaline pumping through my body that I felt like my bones were vibrating. The fence was, to my eyes, the only thing between us. The only thing keeping her from tackling and killing me. My only hope was that she’d do it quickly.
But she didn’t move. As I absorbed her innocent, polite words, the look on her face was calm, and I wondered if this was typically the way a conversation went before she devoured her prey. I wondered how many people she’d eaten. Not humans, not people from Earth, but the ones from where she came from. The fact that she doesn’t scare the shit out of those people means they’re staggeringly dumber than humans.
Finally, I rounded a corner, both relieved at having her out of my sight and worried that she would take that moment to come find me. When she’d been within eyeshot, I had at least known where she was and could run in the other direction. But I didn’t hear the sound of faint footsteps moving rapidly toward me. All was quiet, in that deep, smothering way that only an empty business in the middle of the night in small town America could be.
My hands trembling, I barely paid attention to anything but the confirmation that my surroundings were free of the colossal spider as I finally got back to the door. Grabbing the handle and letting my eyes dart around for about ten seconds and my ears prick for the slightest sound, I finally swiped my key card across the pad and went inside, shutting the door behind me and engaging the backup deadbolt.
Maybe that was why they had decided on keycards. If I was running from something and panicking, using an actual key or inserting the card like at a hotel would keep me from getting to safety considering my hands were shaking enough to mix a margarita.
Walking over to my chair, I fell into it, letting my body flush itself of terror as I looked up at the cameras. There she was, still in arachnid form, exactly where I’d left her behind that rinky-dink fence, casually looking around and slowly pacing back and forth. I stared at her as my racing heart gradually slowed, and a minute or so later she turned on her eight legs and walked back into the trees.
Whatever invisible fences the enclosures have apparently work, which is nice, because I wasn’t keen on getting killed by one of the creatures here. And that’s what brings me here, spilling out everything that’s happened so far. Because nearly passing out from terror isn’t something I wanted to deal with at work, obviously, but I keep going over what she did in my head again and again, and I feel like I reacted like a child who spotted a wolf spider on their bed. I started to worry for my overactive sense of self-preservation, at least in my capacity as an employee here.
The spider didn’t even try to hurt me, and so I was feeling a bit foolish. Even annoyed, actually, at the fact that I’d freaked out so hard and took off instead of trying to engage in at least basic conversation. I got the sense that she wasn’t at human-level intelligence, but I was never going to be able to hold any level of conversation with an alligator.
Sure, she did mention that she wouldn’t be so crass as to yank off my hand because she’d rather just have my entire corpse, but wouldn’t a wolf do the same if it was hungry? Wouldn’t any carnivore? Actually, they probably would’ve been satisfied with one of my hands. The fear here was from the fact that she turned into a giant spider. If she’d turned into Clifford, I would’ve reacted the same way, if not better than, meeting Leila.
With that, I decided I’m staying on the job. Considering how frustrated I can get with foolish people, it’s a bit hypocritical, and I’m being a bit of an idiot. But…there are definitely wards keeping them in their enclosures. Also, I signed up for creatures for another dimension, whether or not I believed in them at the time, and I will not let encountering my first one in an objectively boring way be the reason I quit.
The money is a factor, I’ll grant you. Of course it is. And I can’t spend it if I’m dead, but all signs point to surviving as long as I don’t do anything dumb. Also, yes, I’ll admit there’s a not-so-little voice in the back of my head that’s desperate to know what else is here. I never thought I’d do something like this, but finding out these things are real, I honestly do want to learn more about them.
Still, though, I decided to call Andrew at the end of my shift to ask if the pepper spray and taser I carried worked on a certain spider, as well as the other animals I’d yet to meet.
Previous

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2024.05.21 16:47 fifi_edits Is Pesto Keto-Friendly?

Pesto is a nutritious sauce and condiment available in many tasty variations, but is pesto keto-friendly?
Yes, traditionally prepared pesto is low in carbs and can be a great way to add depth of flavor to various keto recipes.
Discover the benefits of regularly incorporating pesto into a ketogenic diet and learn how to make the best Healthy Keto® pesto recipe.

What is pesto?

Originating from Genoa, Italy, authentic pesto sauce is crafted from simple ingredients, including fresh basil leaves, garlic, parmesan cheese, pecorino cheese, pine nuts, olive oil, sea salt, and pepper.
The name pesto comes from the Genovese word pestare, which means to pound or crush. It depicts the traditional method of preparing pesto using a mortar and pestle to combine ingredients.
Here are common ingredients used in different pesto varieties.

Common herbs used in pesto

The original pesto recipe, Pesto alla Genovese, exclusively uses Genovese basil as the primary herb due to its unique sweetness.
Basil is a delicate herb, and using the mortar and pestle instead of harshly chopping or blending with a food processor slows down the oxidation of the leaves. This not only helps preserve the sauce's vivid green hue but also enhances its flavor and aroma.
However, pesto has evolved to encompass a broader range of ingredients.
Here are some other common herbs used in many pesto recipes:

Italian flat-leaf parsley
Cilantro
Mint
Oregano

In addition to herbs, many pesto sauces incorporate ingredients such as arugula, spinach, kale, lemon juice, or tomatoes.

Common nuts used in pesto

Similarly, some recipes replace the traditional toasted pine nuts with other types of nuts to add a unique twist to the classic dish.
Here are some commonly used nuts used to prepare pesto:

Almonds
Cashews
Walnuts
Pecans
Pistachios

Is pesto keto-friendly?

Traditional pesto is low in carbohydrates and contains less than one gram of net carbs per tablespoon. This makes pesto an excellent keto-friendly option that offers impressive flavors.
However, since there are many different pesto variations, it’s crucial to read labels to check that there are no added sugars or hidden carbs that could interfere with ketosis.
For those following Healthy Keto, a low-carb diet that focuses on nutrient-dense whole foods, checking the ingredients list is essential, as many pre-made pestos can include potentially harmful additives and preservatives.
Watch this video to discover the health and nutritional benefits of basil.
Amazing Health & Nutritional Benefits Of Basil

4 health benefits of pesto

Authentic basil pesto combines several superfoods high in nutrients, offering many potential health benefits.
Here are four reasons why you should incorporate more pesto into your meals.

1. Anti-aging properties

Research published in Frontiers in Nutrition shows that healthy fats, particularly the monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fatty acids found in olive oil, can improve brain function and help reduce the risk of cognitive decline.
These fatty acids are also vital for supporting eye health and contribute to healthier skin by improving skin barrier function and hydration.

2. Supports the immune system

According to a study published in Foods, Genovese basil is particularly rich in polyphenols, including rosmarinic and caffeic acid.
These health-promoting compounds have been linked to potent anti-inflammatory effects that support immune system function and may lower the risk of chronic diseases.
3. Potential anti-cancer effects
Key ingredients in pesto, including basil, garlic, and olive oil, are exceptional sources of antioxidants that may help lower cancer risk.
Antioxidants can counteract the effects of free radicals, thereby preventing oxidative stress, which is linked to cellular and DNA damage, a leading cause of cancer.

4. Promotes digestive health

Parmigiano Reggiano, widely considered the best cheese for pesto, contains digestive enzymes and beneficial gut bacteria, also known as probiotics.
Probiotics help maintain a healthy gut microbiome essential for nutrient absorption, digestive health, and overall well-being.
Research published in Food Technology and Biotechnology found that Parmigiano Reggiano also contains oligosaccharides, which act as a prebiotic food source for beneficial gut bacteria.

Store-bought vs. homemade pesto

Italians will be the first to tell you there's no comparison between store-bought and homemade pesto sauce.
Pesto is a delicate sauce that’s best consumed fresh, as its flavor and quality can deteriorate quickly, becoming bitter and dull as the enzymes released from basil oxidize.
To help extend pesto’s shelf life, store-bought versions often contain preservatives and additives that can negatively impact the flavor and quality of the sauce and may harm your health.
Additionally, many store-bought pestos will substitute critical ingredients, such as extra virgin olive oil (EVOO), cheese, or fresh garlic, with cheaper alternatives or omit them entirely, leading to a bland or unpalatable flavor and a significantly lower nutritional value.

How to choose the best store-bought pesto sauce

Homemade pesto sauce is always preferred, but if you don't have time to make it, the best premade pestos can often be found in the refrigerated section.
Look for pestos that don't contain artificial preservatives or low-quality ingredients, such as sunflower oil or potato flakes. Instead, opt for certified organic and non-GMO products that use high-quality oil and real cheese sourced from grass-fed and pasture cows.

Keto-friendly pesto recipes

If you're looking for a way to add extra flavor to your keto meals, look no further than pesto. Chicken, fish, steak, and most vegetables pair exceptionally well with this tasty and versatile sauce.
Here are some delicious keto-friendly pesto recipes:

To complete your pesto experience, try experimenting with keto pasta recipes.
Zucchini noodles, keto gnocchi, and keto egg noodles are excellent low-carb pasta alternatives that work well with keto pesto sauce.

Tips to make the best pesto sauce

Here are some tips on how to choose the best ingredient to make a nutritious and flavorful pesto at home.

Parmesan cheese

Opt for authentic Parmigiano Reggiano, an Italian staple that’s been in production for over 900 years.
Known for its rich, nutty flavor and granular texture, Parmigiano Reggiano undergoes a meticulous aging process and adheres to stringent production standards, ensuring its authenticity and superior quality.
The Parmigiano Reggiano standard guidelines underscore a commitment to natural production, prohibiting additives and ensuring cows are fed local forage.
This approach not only guarantees the cheese's premium taste but also preserves essential nutrients and probiotics.

Olive oil

Select only pure cold-pressed EVOO. Many olive oils on the market are diluted with cheaper oils that compromise flavor and can introduce harmful ingredients that may negatively impact your health.
In addition, evidence published in the Asia Pacific Journal of Clinical Nutrition summarizes, "phenolic content of olive oil is reduced by chemical extraction and refining."
By prioritizing cold-pressed EVOO, you ensure your olive oil is rich in flavor and health-promoting properties.

Fresh Genovese basil

Harvested during early growth stages to ensure optimal flavor, Genovese basil is the prime choice for making basil pesto.
As Dr. Berg explains, "Basil has some amazing health benefits. It’s loaded with vitamin K, manganese, and flavonoids, which can help support healthy bones, blood clotting, and skeletal health while offering potent anti-inflammatory properties.”

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2024.05.21 16:21 korafay 5/21/24 Morning thoughts

I had a therapy appointment this morning. I've been doing really well recently, social anxiety wise, so I wanted to tackle my trust issues. (I'm really proud of the progress I've made. I never thought I would come this far.)
We talked a little about it, so I could connect with the feeling of how it feels when I feel like I'm being lied to, or tricked, and then my eyes naturally settle into a spot, and I start focusing on those sensations, as memories drift to me. It's a little like a combination of brain spotting and internal family systems, focusing on the different parts and asking them what is up while processing memories. I guess I don't need to label it, if it works.
One of the things that I struggle with is the idea of emotional neglect. It's not a single traumatic memory, it's the absence of something that was supposed to be there. So when I have memories come up in therapy, they're usually small in comparison to the trauma that other people go through. And I feel embarrassed. My therapist says this is the bulk of her work and lots of people feel the same. I just wish I could just.. get over it.
For my trust issues, it's pinpointed to not wanting to feel humiliated, so as a coping mechanism, I don't trust people. And then if they do trick me, I can comfort myself by thinking, "Well, I KNEW, I just couldn't say it". (Which is how I dealt in the past growing up with liars. I wasn't supposed to assert myself or say what I knew to be true.)
I feel good today. Even a little progress is progress.

submitted by korafay to TheBigGirlDiary [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 15:31 isisebow What should I do here

I had been seeing this man for about 1 1/2 years, every day or every other day. We didnt make it public because I was unsure how my parents would feel (they kinda racist.) Then he revealed that he has a child to me. He has no social media but snapchat so I would’ve never found it. He said he thought I would judge him so he didn’t say it blah blah blah. I didn’t really care , I was happy for him (she looked like 2-3.) But now my parents really wouldn’t like it since i’m 19 and he’s 25 with a kid. Despite that I was still in love with him so I would be with him anyway. So over the course of the following 6 months leading to the current time, I asked many questions about BM. Is she still in the picture, does he still see her, etc. He insisted he only saw her to pick up his child at times or do family stuff. That’s pretty reasonable I can respect it. He made many many excuses like we can’t make it public bc she may be mad and force child support or not allow me into the family etc. Well yesterday, I was checking this guys sister FB and found BM. Lo and behold there is tons of pics of her and “my man” together (I’ve been talking about him like he’s my man for 2 years and he is friends with all my friends.) I am physically ill to my stomach looking at the pics finding out they have been together the entire time. Do I tell her? I am afraid he will seek revenge on me. I am worried this can cause more turmoil in our already crazy lives. I am genuinely afraid of what he’ll try to do to me if I tell her. I told him that I found out and to go F himself and cut contact. I feel like such a bad person for doing this to his FIANCE (she had a ring on all the pics), she will be really angry at me. Also I discovered he started seeing me right BEFORE he had the baby shes 2. We literally would play games on each others phones or hed be driving and say text this person for me. I never saw her there. He spent 2 Christmas, Valentines, Easter, my bday, etc with me. My brain can’t comprehend how this is possible. Am I missing something? Maybe they’re on and off or just post on facebook to make it look stable when they’re not really together? He would go 3 months in a row seeing me EVERY DAY at times.

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2024.05.21 15:23 twiggles1618 Free Knife Maintenance Kit - Get me to 25 Swaps!

So here's the deal. I am 5 away from 25 swaps. Help me get there! I have put together a little knife maintenance kit. All you need to do is yolo and either send me a USPS shipping label, or $7 and I'll buy a label. 5 kits available to the first 5 yolos! ALL SOLD. THANKS!
Kit includes: Pics
20 micro applicator swabs with microfiber tips, perfect for detail oiling and cleaning
Bit driver with Wiha t8 bit (Wiha is one of the best you can buy)
Utility blade and holder (perfect for opening boxes and saving your safe queen knives haha)

submitted by twiggles1618 to Knife_Swap [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 14:47 cloutboicade_ 10 Foods You Should Never Eat

Corn - Almost all corn, specifically in the US and Canada is produced by Monsanto seed. This is a man-made corn, which has been genetically modified and/or is a hybrid corn. It’s been processed. This corn was specifically developed by Monsanto to be fed to cows for them to put on fat quickly and grow fast. The more corn you eat, the fatter you get. It’s not the original, as nature intended it to be food. It causes allergic reactions to all degrees. Avoid anything with the word corn in it “Corn syrup solids”, “high fructose corn syrup”, “cornflower”, “corn starch”, “cornflakes”, etc. Look at the ingredients, if it has the word corn then avoid it. Monsanto is an American agricultural biotechnology and agrochemical company that was founded in 1901 by John Francis Queeny in St. Louis, Missouri. The company's products include glyphosate herbicides, crop seeds, and vegetables. Monsanto is best known for its herbicide Roundup, which is based on glyphosate. The company also produces genetically modified seeds, such as those that can tolerate glyphosate, which kills weeds without affecting the crop. What happened to Monsanto? Ethical Consumer
Artificial Sweeteners - 2 main ones: Aspartame(nutrasweet) & Sucralose. Stay away from these two. These are found in diet sodas. These fall into a category called exito-toxins. They are chemically addictive. It’s the “new crack”. It affects the neuro-transmitter activity and the serotonin levels in your brain. This means these artificial sweeteners make you anxious, stressed, and depressed. They are in any diet product. If you see “no sugar”, it may be a marketing ploy - they want to convince you it has lower calories and some type of artificial sweetener. You find these. The actual foods or drinks taste horrible, but the aspartame and sucralose make it taste better. Fast food study
Pork - A pig will eat anything. Scientists now know that whatever the pig eats turns to meat on its bones. The meat you eat puts toxicity in your body.
Shellfish - More people get sick and/or die from eating “bad” shellfish than any other food group. Many people are also allergic to it more than any other food group. Shellfish isn't just a fish that comes in a shell like a scallop, mussel, lobster, clam, crab. It’s any fish in water that does not have scales and fins. Stay away from anything that comes out of the water with no scales and fins. Catfish has fins but no scales, stay away. Squid/Octopus stay away from. These non-scale/fin animals are called “filters”. They absorb whatever toxins that are in the water and they keep that in their flesh, which is eaten. This is also the law of kashra, the kosher laws - pork and shellfish fall into the kosher law category. It states that you can eat anything on the ground that has a split hoof and chews to cut. Which is why you don’t eat pork. Also, don’t eat anything that doesn’t have a split hoof and chews to cut like a bear(has a paw). States you should eat fish with fins and scales. The Kashrut Laws
Hydrogenated Oils (Trans fats) - Look on the label. It says hydrogenated oil. These scar your arteries and lead to heart attack. It messes with hormones and affects sleep. Makes you hungrier and fatter. Affects immune system.
Genetically Modified Organisms (GMO) - Buy foods that say no GMO’s. The majority of the ingredients have not been modified. With GMO, foods are modified.
Monosodium Glutamate (MSG) - Falls into the same category as artificial sweeteners, it is an exito-toxin. Messes with neuro-transmitter activity, makes you hungrier, makes you thirsty, makes the body store extra fluid in fat cells making you gain weight, bloady, and fat. It increases fat cells and makes them bigger. KFC, Taco Bell, etc all have this.
Wheat - If you live in Italy, this doesn't apply. Youdon’t want wheat that's come from Canada or USA because it's only been fermented for 48 hours. This is tough because how can you determine that? Duran-wheat means it's from Italy. This is trustworthy. If you can reduce the amount of wheat you consume, you’ll be better off because the majority of wheat hasn't been fermented for 48 hours. Its high gluten wheat, causes types of gas, bloating, allergic reactions, weight gain, etc. Make sure all your pasta comes from Italy (Organic product of Italy). If you make your own pasta, buy flour from italy. Same goes for bread in USA.
Soy - All over the world. Almost all soy now comes from Monsanto seed. It’s been genetically modified and causes all types of intestinal problems and reduces testosterone. Same with corn, soy is everywhere - “soybean oil”. Soy-bean oil is very cheap. Even if it’s organic,it can still be genetically modified.
Corn-fed beef & anything dairy that doesn't come from grass fed cows - Stay away from homogenized dairy. Cows eat grass. But in the industry, cows are fed Monsanto genetically altered corn to make them fat and get them to the supermarket quicker. Cows don't eat grain in real life, they eat grass. When a cat is fed corn and grain it will get fatter faster. In the commercial feed that's fed to cows, there is ground up dead cows, horses, other animals that were so diseased they couldn't be put into the food chain. But they'll feed it to a cow which is supposed to be a vegetarian only eating grass. This cow gets diseased as well. Those animals were injected with bovine growth hormones and massive amounts of antibiotics. When you eat beef, your testost. score goes down, you put your body in toxic shock, because of the growth hormone, which makes you fatter. These beefs don't have much CLA which is the acid in the beef that increases testosterone. Buy 100% organic grass fed beef and dairy. Buy raw cheese that comes from France or switzerland.

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2024.05.21 14:42 Professional-Map-762 Let's Analyze the Inmendham vs Vegan Gains Debate: whether Value-realism is True (How 2 best argue defending it, going forward?)

How can we stop going around in circles with these corrupted nihilists? (basically an extreme religious-nut but in reverse; no meaning, no value, no good/bad, nothing matters) I've compiled some of my thoughts/comments.

But first If you are not caught up yet:
1 Re: Vegan Gains ...The Militant Vegan Raffaela Interview - (May 12, 2024)
2 Vegan Gains is a sub-Jerkivest [5/11/24]
3 Moral Realism Debate w/ Inmendham - (May 16, 2024)
4 WTF #899: The vegan gains debate ... Value realism - (May 19, 2024)
5 Vegan Gains ...Denialism is the only nihilism [5/19/24]
also saw this Controversial Topics with Vegan Gains (Horse Riding, Bivalves, Depression, and much more!) - (May 11, 2024) ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ (he thinks in terms of some dogmatic religious brain-rot morality source of right/wrong, but a kind of reversed/opposite conclusion of it's absence, nihilism)
the very reason religion was invented in the first place was because humans by nature had a value-engine driving them & NEED for meaning, that's the irony. value gave rise to religion, religion never needed to grant value. The fact people can't grasp this. 🤦 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

Now onto the various arguments, sorry how long and out of order it is But the idea is to provoke you coming up with better ideas/arguments, and if you can critic and strenghen my and ultimately inmendham's arguments. The GOAL should be to Create a formal argument AKA a syllogism, modus ponens. Something clear and concise that can't be taken out of context or misinterpreted, as happened with the debate...

On the subject of Efilism, tread lightly, the philosophy and argument extends beyond merely focusing on suffering; it also includes the critical issue of consent violation. Its proponent and creator, Inmendham, argues for value realism, which contrasts starkly with the notion of subjective morality which I find illogical. While objective morality is full of baggage... often linked to outdated religious doctrine so on face value it's not fun or easy subject to broach... many contemporary non-religious ethicists ground it in realism. Personally me, inmendham and others see no use for the term "morality" as it's tainted. value-realism is the subject. Is it a value-laden universe or not?
it is not necessary to call TRUE/REAL right or wrong Objective, because if objective is defined as mind-independent than without minds there's nothing right/wrong to happen to, therefore THE discussion should be just regarding what is TRUE or NOT, subjective doesn't necessarily mean mere contrived opinion or preference but can be logical conclusion, e.g. you can conclude 2 + 2 = 4 as we understand these concepts of numbers to model reality but can you call it objective or mind-independent 2 + 2 = 4, or that math exists? Not really. As you require a modeler to model reality, an observer to make the observation, a mind to come to such accurate conclusions. To me, claiming there is no real right or wrong is akin to asserting that moral standards and ultimately the subject of Ethics is as fictitious as religion or Santa Claus, you just believe it cause you want to or have preference to. Why maintain this pretense if it's all a mere fabrication / contrivance?
Regarding subjective judgments such as determining "What's the tastiest potato chip or the most beautiful painting?", these are not factual assessments about the things themselves, The question itself is misleading, because the thing itself has none of those qualities objectively, Instead, such qualities are OUTPUTs generated by the interaction of our bodies and minds with these INPUT items, the input is quite arbitrary/irrelevant, unlike the highly meaningful & distinct output generated of positive or negative experiences. You might get off more on certain female body part than another, it doesn't matter, the output positives & negatives is more or less same among individuals and that's what's relevant... not what specific fun or hobby gets you or them off or pushes their buttons.
It can be TRUE that a certain food item is the tastiest to that personal individual, or gross to another, and we can talk about intersubjective truths with averages overall. But one's experience of what is tastiest for them doesn't contradict another's, they can both be true for them individually, as you are likely not even sharing the same exact experiences to judge differently. And one's very perception or framing of the experience changes the experience itself, no way around this truth. Some people find bricks tasty or edible, just how their brain is wired.
It's important to recognize that differing opinions of personal taste do not inherently conflict in the way ethical contradictions do. With ethical matters, asserting that two diametrically opposed views are equally valid is problematic, either one is right and the other wrong, or both might be based on flawed reasoning. Pretending 2 opposing ethical views can be both equally right/true/correct is utter contradictory mush, either one of them must be right / wrong, or both are contrived meaningless nothing opinions, just made up. you wouldn't say whether one believes in god or not IS mere personal opinion/preference and such 2 opposing views can be equally right at same time, that's utter contradictory nonsense, by saying 2 opinions that gRAPE is both good & bad at same time are equally right opinons, right loses all meaning and you might as well say neither is right and both are wrong, they each have their own contrived fairytale delusion.
Now with Ethics of right / wrong, it does not depend on one single individual's preference or opinion, but taken as the whole, if you violate one without consent you still have to account for that since you are seemingly putting the weight on the preference otherwise preferences are utterly meaningless and irrelevant.
ALSO, Do you call whatever you prefer what's right, or do you prefer to try to do what is right?
Do you prefer to seek out what is the right most accurate conclusion given all the facts of reality, or contrive right to be what's in your preference/interest or personal gain?
I don't think VG or most these talking heads understand value-realism (problematic events within subjectivity/a non-physical but REAL reality of the mind). Obviously there's no objective divine or otherwise prime-directive moral-rules we must follow. Unfortunately Religion has poisened the conversation so much with archaic ideas and mushy terms like 'Morality'. Understand there is no 'moral truth', let alone an objective one, ofc if you pigeon-hole me or all realists into defending such nonsense it's easy to refute them. What I'm interested in is subject of Ethics, and to start whether or not value/problematic events exist or do not exist.
Here's a silly question by nihilists: "why is suffering bad?"
Response: How do you identify suffering? Based on the fact that it feels bad. (Yes subjectively) Just as we can subjectively understand 2+2 = 4
Or this: "prove suffering bad, objectively"
Also question-begging, obviously it is subjective. If such badness cannot exist mind-independently by definition.
"Prove suffering is bad, objectively"
is begging the question, because...
It strawmans / assumes the badness must be bad mind-independently, it isn't therefore, it isn't bad.
Answer this, evolutionarily do animals PERCEIVE being tortured skinned alive nail in the eye as BAD, or does it impose torture which we RECOGNIZE and define as Bad by definition?
If true PAIN/torture isn't bad then why does it exist evolutionarily? Answer: (problem -> solution) mechanism which functions as ability to learn & improved survival, this mechanism was reinforced over time as it worked.
inmendham & realists like myself argue: it is the case Descriptively, Objectively evolution IMPOSED Prescriptive-value-judgements onto animals which function as a learning/problem solving mechanism. Fact is, the invention of 'PROBLEM' is something I/we/animals had nothing to do with... (no-free-will-choice) but are simply byproduct in observation of this fact.
If real PROBLEM(s) didn't truly exist then Arguably the word and conceptual understanding it points 👉 to wouldn't exist either. As if beings could be truly blind never seeing colors/vision yet pulling the idea out of thin air and conceiving of such a thing, how preposterous, that'd be giving human creativity/imagination way too much credit. The only nihilist argument then is that by evolution we & all feeling organisms are somehow ultimately deluded or have illusion of problem where there is none, which I find deeply implausible. Run the torture study/experiment a million times putting people's arm in the fire "yep still bad". Filtering out people who lack ability to feel pain of course.
As evolutionary biologists even states pain is a message to the animal "don't do that again". Can't get descriptively prescriptive more than that.
Are You Getting It?
The Ought is literally baked in as an IS. The is-ought gap to be bridged is a complete Red-Herring, yes you can't derive an Ought from an IS, because if you oughtn't do something, then it can never be BAD... problematic/BAD/torture can't mean anything if it doesn't scream OUGHT-not.
All you have to agree to is due to evolution it created torture which is decidedly negative/ inherently BAD, by definition. Otherwise it wouldn't feel bad or be torturous at all... THEN ask yourself, how can something be BAD yet it's not BAD to create that BAD?
This is Checkmate. These are irrefutable Facts & Logical deductions.
So much for it all being false-perception, the very fact placebo patients perceive an otherwise harmless laser as BAD/painful makes it so. It's the TRUE reality in their mind and you can't deny that fact. It's also a fact believing a pain isn't really all that bad can make it so, but this doesn't make these value-laden experiences NOT real/true.
As per evolution, your body/brain's mechanisms must generate & impose a prescriptive-value-judgement / problematic event within your mind,
It's nagging, complaining, telling you keeping your hand on the hot stove is a mistake/problematic/bad. (not in itself but as a consequence)
I believe this brain making me write all this... is making an accurate assessment when it observe certain events to be problematic/bad where it's happening which is within subjectivity, where's your evidence my perceptions are fooling me or I'm somehow deluded? I witnessed the crime take place and you were nowhere near the crime scene yet you have the authority to claim otherwise as fact? (You are not simply agnostic to my problem suffering but a De-nihilist)
Once one accepts this evolutionary fact we can move on to more complicated questions regarding ethics, like how do weigh the good & the bad, conflicting preferences, etc. Otherwise, it's all pointless & futile, like arguing bivalves or wild-suffering with a non-vegan. They're just not on that level yet and it's a waste of time.
revised version of my other comment: I believe that many discussions around morality miss a crucial point about value-realism, which acknowledges problematic events within subjectivity, a non-physical but real reality of the mind. It is evident that there are no objective, divine, or prime-directive moral rules we must follow. Unfortunately, religion has muddied the conversation with archaic ideas and terms like 'morality'.
There is no 'moral truth,' especially not an objective one. If critics pigeonhole realists into defending such notions, it becomes easy to refute them. My interest lies in ethics and whether value/problematic events exist.
Consider this question by nihilists: "Why is suffering bad?"
Response: Suffering is identified because it feels bad, subjectively. Just as we subjectively understand 2+2=4, we can recognize suffering through its unpleasant experience.
When asked to "prove suffering is bad, objectively," this is question-begging, as the question assumes that the badness must exist independently of minds, which it does not by definition. This question straw-mans the issue by requiring mind-independent badness, ignoring the subjective nature of suffering. As if the quality of it being BAD must be granted by something outside the experience itself.
Evolutionary Perspective: Animals perceive and react to torture (e.g., being skinned alive) as bad because evolution has imposed mechanisms that signal harm. Pain serves as a problem-solving mechanism, reinforcing behaviors that enhance survival. If pain and suffering weren't inherently problematic, they wouldn’t exist in the form they do.
Realists like myself argue that evolution has objectively imposed prescriptive-value judgments on animals. The concept of 'problem' or 'bad' arises from these evolutionary mechanisms, not from free will. The existence of these concepts indicates the reality of these problematic experiences.
If real problems didn’t exist, neither would the concepts describing them. This is akin to how beings blind from birth wouldn’t conceive of color. Suggesting that evolutionary processes have universally deluded all feeling organisms into perceiving problems where there are none is implausible.
As evolutionary biologists state, pain signals to the animal, "don't do that again," which is descriptively prescriptive. The 'ought' is embedded within the 'is.' Thus, the is-ought gap is a red herring because prescriptive judgments are evolutionarily ingrained.
Again, How do you identify suffering? Based on the fact that it feels bad. (Yes subjectively) Just as we can subjectively understand 2+2 = 4
All you have to agree to is due to evolution it created torture which is decidedly negative/ inherently BAD, by definition. Otherwise it wouldn't feel bad or be torturous at all... THEN ask yourself, how can something be BAD yet it's not BAD to create that BAD?
Conclusion: By acknowledging that evolution created inherently negative experiences like torture, we accept that these experiences are bad by definition. Denying the badness of creating bad experiences is contradictory. Therefore, once recognizing the true reality of subjective experiences, only then we can move on to complex ethical questions about weighing good and bad and addressing conflicting preferences.
playing devil's advocate let's try Steelman their position and then arrive at the logical conclusions of it and then perhaps refute it. If they say: "veganism = right" realize there is no contradiction IF by 'right' they just mean it's literally nothing but their preference...
There's no goal to prefer to know/do what's right, RATHER what's right is whatever matches our personal preferences, so unlike flat earther vs round earth beliefs/CLAIMs which can contradict/conflict with each other since either 1 is right or both are wrong. Individual tastes don't.
Whereas if VG says 9 people gRAPE the 1 kid for fun is WRONG because he's a threshold-deontologist but Also RIGHT to a hedonistic utilitarian, Those views only contradict/conflict if they are making VALUE-claims or recognizing a problematic event take place. However, with VG apparently he would have to say he's not claiming or labelling anything as TRULY problematic at all but merely describing his preferences like flavor of ice cream...
Now, of course, as the realist, I find such a view more deplorable/worse than if they were merely agnostic on right/wrong. Cause it's one thing to say there's a right answer to questions of Ethics but we have no objective scientific basis to determine it yet or lack knowledge VS saying they have knowledge there is absolutely no right or wrong.
Under Anti-realism nihilism, what they mean by wrong/right, is just their preference, if I understand correctly (which I'm quite sure) Anti-realism nihilism reduces the Subject of Ethics down to nothing but you or someone else pontificating/opining (i.e "me no like torture") . It defends some sort of expressivism, emotivism, normative, prescriptive reduction of Ethics. Which I find lubricious and has to be a mistake,
I don't see anyone playing any different game even the nihilists invest their money and plan ahead for self-interest, no one truly signs up for torture for fun like it's no problem, and runs away from pleasure happiness as bad. Further, it stands to reason... since we can recognize objectively evolution created a punishment mechanism to enforce learning and survival, BAD/PROBLEM as a concept is something I/WE/Animals had nothing to do with. We didn't invent it, we recognize it and respond accordingly. Even evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins stated that pain is a message to the organism 'don't do that again!'
We must address further the flawed logic of VG and other nihilists reducing Ethics down to mere arbitrary preferences like potato chip flavor, or how much salt you prefer in the soup. As it is completely disanalogous & dishonest upon reflection. QUOTE: "There's no arguing against Efilism, it's just personal opinion. Like arguing what tastes better... ice-cream or potato chips?"
Say if you believe that the mona-lisa is beautiful, and I personally find it ugly, this conflicts/contradicts nothing because it claims nothing in terms about that object or reality outside of our own minds.
such qualities are OUTPUTs generated by body/mind from these INPUTs, the input is quite arbitrary/irrelevant, unlike the highly meaningful & distinct output generated of positive or negative experiences.
it doesn't matter what specific fun or hobby gets them off or pushes their buttons in order for it MATTER, those differences don't make it any less real OR all mere subjective opinion. the output positives & negatives is more or less same among individuals and that's what's relevant...
It can be TRUE that a certain food item is the tastiest to some personal individual, or gross to another, one's experience of what is tastiest for them doesn't contradict another's, they can both be true for them individually because it is the reality in their mind, Some people find bricks tasty or edible, just how their brain is wired.
while one person may find a certain food delicious, another may find it repulsive, without invalidating each other's experiences because they are true for them individually. both experiences are valid/correct.
However, actions that disregard another's negative experience invalidate their reality. if you find being boiled alive problematic and I do it anyway believing it's ok, I am invalidating your experience as either not real, relevant, doesn't matter, or my preferences are more important (carry more weight) than yours. Or simply believe it's ALL equal or arbitrary and I just prefer to exploit you so I do that.
Positive or negative experiences are largely consistent among people, making them relevant, regardless of the specific stimuli. Individual truths about taste or preference coexist without contradiction, reflecting each person's value-generated reality.
This cannot honestly be applied to one's mere opinion it's fine to boil kids alive, as you are invalidating the fact that it matters to those victims. You saying it doesn't matter or your gain of pleasure outweighs their loss of pain, is a claim about the reality of events going on in their mind, so there is room for conflict/contradiction. They can't both be right/wrong at the exact same time.
A strong non-intuition argument/claim & facts presented render value-nihilism implausible:
It is Descriptively the case, that Evolution IMPOSED Prescriptive-ought statements... of 'PROBLEMATIC sensation/event' on organisms which functioned as a learning mechanism and improved survival.
Therefore, BAD/PROBLEM isn't mere subjective opinion but something I/we/animals had nothing to do with and are mere by-product reacting to an observation.
This is pretty much the only base-axiom needed to ground my own torture as mattering as the original actual value-currency at stake. That paired with the fact I sampled consciousness and know it matters to me whether or not I am tortured, the fact that I personally observe it as problematic makes it the true reality for my own mind...
...AND it's not mere opinion/proclamation / or idea humans creatively invented out of thin air... as if like everyone could be truly blind yet conceptualizing colovision, makes no sense. plus that's giving humanity way too much credit of imagination.
Can't really have thoughts about information that you don't have. The concept of bad/problem arguably wouldn't even exist if it never was so.
Yes, I agree very semantics. I am attempting to shed clarity on this topic. Looking at the word "BAD" purely in a descriptive sense (e.g., that which can be categorically applied to extreme suffering) it loses all meaning if it's not truly consequential (i.e., it matters whether one experiences bad or not). If it doesn't actually matter ("no problemo") then it can't be bad, only an illusion/delusion of it, yet it's an effective one evolution imposed on organisms as a learning/problem-solving mechanism. The value-realists like myself have every reason to believe evolution created the real thing, not some contrived pseudo-problem organisms feel compelled/obligated to solve.
One only requires the axiom of a Descriptive Bad to ground Ethics. Why? Because it can be argued that a descriptive statement of BAD/problem is prescriptive by it's very nature in the meaning the of word/language.(otherwise its psuedo-bad/fake langauge, redefines bad as aversion/mere preference against) Otherwise, it can't mean anything to be bad, torturously obnoxious, unwanted experiential events couldn't mean anything. Evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins even state pain is a punishment signal/message to the animal: "Don't do that again!" If those aren't prescriptions imposed, then I don't know what is. The animal doesn't simply decide/prefer to avoid the event and finds it bad, it's told/finds it bad and so prefers to avoid the event/problem. If god or there were some logically or physically possible way it were to be invented how else would it exist?, or what you think evolution's reward & punishment mechanism accomplished? If it didn't synthesize problematic sensations to force organisms to solve?
Evolution prescribes Needs/wants, at the same time imposes a PAIN/PROBLEM of starvation/hunger which by it's very nature is a prescription for solution (i.e. sustenance/relief/comfort.)
By the very nature of "PROBLEM" it prescribes -> "SOLUTION" not merely a contrived or trivial-like on paper math problem, but the origin of why the word even exists: the problem of pain, a true whip/punishment mechanism, real currency to play with, real loss. Idk how you can describe something categorically as a PROBLEM in the true sense of the word if it doesn't come with it a necessary prescription for its solution. Because if there is no NEED for a solution, then it turns into no longer a problem again...
I don't see how it could be any other way because if there's no real game to be playing with value baked into it, then money would be worthless/not even exist, animals wouldn't bother evade standing in the fire, etc.
Saying It is Descriptively the case, that Evolution IMPOSED Prescriptive-ought statements... of 'PROBLEMATIC sensation/event' on organisms which functioned as a learning mechanism and improved survival.
Is the same as saying Evolution IMPOSED torture/BAD, as that's what torture/bad is... a prescribed need for solution to a problem which is some form of relief/comfort.
The prescription arises as a result of accepting step 1. (which nihilists reject/deny) problem solution. The latter does not follow/exist without the former. basic 2+2 = 4 logic. There's no point figuring out the answer to the math equation, if we don't agree first and foremost a problem exists. Nor how to solve a disease, if we don't first and foremost recognize a disease exists. And so, Any debate with nihilists on step 2: of determining what is the most likely solution / right answer becomes irrelevent and a waste of time. Arguing about whether x or y IS the right answer to fixing/preventing diabetes is pointless when they don't even agree the really disease exists. They don't believe an actual real BAD / Problem exists.
VG reduces it down to mere preferences, his reasonings that even if universally sentience prefers not suffebe tortured... Well, just because it is the case descriptively we prefer to avoid suffering doesn't mean we ought/should prevent suffering. He hasn't bridged the IS-OUGHT gap. But he got it backwards,
the claim/argument... ISN'T that because descriptively, sentience universally has a preference to avoid suffering, it is therefore bad,
the claim/argument... IS that it's descriptively bad/problematic, therefore universally there's a deductively logically assigned preference to avoid it,
Again you can't classify/label something as a problem if it's inconsequential whether it is solved or not. The word loses all meaning. If something NEEDs solving/fixing it means there's a problem, if there's a problem it means there's something NEED solving/fixing. Evolution manufactures these needy problems in organisms to manipulate and control them.
Merely what our preferences are IS NOT relevant, preference "frustration" arguably IS. (if preferences couldn't be frustrated "i.e., no value" than it wouldn't matter which way things turned out)
You can have a preference for some art style over another, if we were just programmed non-feeling robots that preferred to avoid standing in the fire, but there was no real kernel of value/bad, then it wouldn't matter.
Let's imagine something was Objectively PROBLEMATIC, an IS statement. What would a real problem look like? something in NEED of a solution. Again, why? because If it doesn't matter whether or not it exists or is Solved or not, it could never be a problem in the first place. So either this problem exists or it doesn't. (NOTE: it doesn't need to be an objective problem to be REAL, "i.e mind-independent")
Next, if ASI or sentient beings were to sample this "problem", would it not be the case they would logically deduce it's in need of a solution? And assign their preferences accordingly to solving it? Cause again otherwise then you just see it as "no-problemo" again.
"If Inmendham's argument is that sentient beings create value, and that the universe has no value without the presence of a sentient being generating it, would it not follow that the ought is inherently built into sensation?" yes but the way VG unfairly reframes it is that we subjectively place value on it, THAT it's entirely subjective, like you prefer salty or sweet, or certain ice cream flavor. emphasizing that it's entirely subjective opinion. Take a look at his unfair silly example: "we can't say pineapple on pizza is objectively tasty or not..." this shows a complete ineptitude in grasping the subject and misrepresenting the argument like crazy, no one is arguing whether Mona Lisa is objectively beautiful or some such thing.
What is being argued: the positive or negative mind-dependent event produced in response to the sensual or perceptual stimuli, the input (object) is irrelevant, only the output (experience) matters and what the value-engine (BRAIN) produced. What pushes your buttons so to speak, blue jelly beans or green jelly beans, could differ between 2 individuals but the shared experience is the same more or less. Whether you wired to find pineapple on pizza tasty or gross is irrelevant, some people find bricks edible.
Main issue is they talking past each other: what inmendham is arguing for was either not expressed as best it could be, and/or VG does not quite comprehend what is being argued... inmendham claims/argues evolution created the real bad/PROBLEM and we respond in recognition of this fact/truth with preferences that follow accordingly, Logic cannot be escaped, once you know 2+2 = 4, you can't will or believe it to be 79. If you know the right answer "torture be Bad M'kay?" obviously you won't act or behave otherwise and say you love it. What could it mean to have a preference against experiencing torture... does such a statement even make any sense? All that is required is a real BAD to exist... and then the preference to avoid it logically follows, an inescapable truth. Unless he thinks I also choose or prefer to believe 2+2 = 4 ?
Essentially VG keeps counter-arguing that: "yes we want to avoid torture, but that's just your preference... just cause universally sentience has a preference against torture (a Descriptive / IS statement) doesn't logically follow some Normative/Prescriptive claim/statement. That just because something IS the case it doesn't follow that we OUGHT / should do X, like help others, prevent suffering, etc. That's a non-sequitur he says. Ultimately it's just a preference." sure but...
His argument only applies/counters a strawman position in his head: Because of this I and other realists can account for / side-step it completely, we aren't attempting to derive an OUGHT from an IS. e.g strawman: "we ALL have preference against torture, Therefore it's BAD." Or "we ALL have preference against torture, Therefore we OUGHT prevent it"
The actual argument is that it's Truly Bad/Problematic by the very nature of the word, Therefore first-hand observation follows universally a deductively logically assigned preference to avoid it. Not the other way around.
"If the only thing that can have meaning in the universe is the experience of a sentient being, ought we not maximize its value just by nature of its experience being the only thing that can matter?" yes the ought is a further logical extension of recognizing it to be a problem, which denotes/demands a solution, otherwise if it doesn't matter to solve it or not then you've turned it into a non-problem again. So it can only be categorically one or the other.
Issue of semantics, different terminology and definitions: as long as VG defines objective as "mind-independent" and sets the goal-post to the realist to find a mind-independent "wrong/bad" as if somehow we need some divine-command or absolute rule in the universe that declares it so... then there is no fruit to the discussion. suffering/bad takes place in the mind/experience, so of course it's unfair to ask one to present a mind-independent suffering/bad in the universe, it is begging the question. To be fair inmendham uses the term objective and could have done better job with defining/pushing his terms "e.g. objective as truth/real/fact" and not let VG impose in his own. However, I don't ascribe a requirement to demonstrate an Objective BAD to ground a BAD as real, valid, and true; it can be entirely based on Subjectivist grounds/axiomatic foundations.
Just because the BAD takes place within subjectivity doesn't make it any less real (non-physical/immaterial sure... but not unreal). VG and nihilists can't understand this. 2+2 = 4 is subjective as is all science ultimately as a root axiomatic-fact... as an observation requires an observer. This doesn't mean realism can't be proven/grounded, it can just like we can know 2+2=4 and the moon exists. If anti-realism is gonna deny subjective truths because it's subjective, then one can't know much of anything and reduces to solipsism. I am more certain I exist and the reality of "perceived" BAD I experience is actually a real BAD... THAN that the moon even exists or any other scientific empirical claim.
PROBLEM is something I/we/animals had Nothing to do with, we didn't invent it.
If Anti-realism nihilism was True and Real "PROBLEMS" didn't exist the word wouldn't exist. It is like being born never knowing or seeing or experiencing vision & color, it's impossible to contrive or imagine it. Some knowledge & information is only accessible through experience.
Even Richard Dawkins stated, "pain is a message to the animal Don't do that again!"
If the ought exists within subjectivity, as preferences, why would them being Subjective vs Objective determine whether or not their violation matters? If one experiences disgust looking at something AND another finds beauty... both are true realities for them, they don't conflict or contradict like empirical or fact claims, but instead both are correct and relevant, not one or the other, BECAUSE when someone says the mona Lisa is beautiful they are just saying it arises in them a sense of beauty, the thing/input is irrelevant whereas the output in mind is what is relevant and true for their reality.
Subjective =/= not true, I don't understand the dichotomy between objective vs subjective ethics, as if there isn't facts to glean about subjectivity.
There's also definition or semantic problems:
objective (mind-independent) vs subjective (mind-dependent)
Under such definition does it make sense to say Objectively evolution created feeling experiencing organisms having sense of taste, smell, sound, hunger, pain, to survive. So can we apply word objective to mind-dependent experiences or not?
And of course under such definition there is no objective mind-independent ethics as without minds there is no feeling subject of concern to even talk about in first place. So how silly...
Yet they take objective to mean True & Subjective made up or mere contrived opinion.
For me these are semantic word games that distract, I just care about what's fact/true. What many don't get is Even science, math is subjective invention, byproduct of subjective tool of language, doesn't mean we can't create an accurate model and picture of reality.
I believe the Is-Ought gap is a red-herring, sure it's true you can't contrive an Ought from just what IS, but with evolution the OUGHT statement is built-in, it's descriptively a prescriptive value statement imposed on me, I/we/animals literally have nothing to do with it, I'm just by-product an observer. This is key understanding.
There exists no objective or divine commandment "you OUGHT do X" written into the fabric of reality, and therefore if you don't that's Bad, No. That's nonsense/impossible logically.
Rather an Descriptive IS statement of X is a real bad/PROBLEM, denotes/demands a solution by it's very nature of the word, otherwise if it doesn't need solving then it becomes into a non-problem again, so either x categorically IS a PROBLEM or it's not.
The claim/argument... Is that it's Descriptively BAD/Problematic, therefore universally there's a deductively logically assigned preference to avoid it. Not the other way around. Our personal preference against torture forever doesn't make it therefore bad. The prescription is built in, forced onto us.
It's like "STOP!" & "GO" What do you say to a dog? "BAD dog!" This is saying it should or shouldn't do something. basically = "No!" "Stop!" That's a prescriptive statement/signal/conveyed message.
Or simply, alls required is Descriptively diagnose Torture as Problematic. Which implies Problem Solution Without necessity of solution there is no problem at all, likewise without problem solution means nothing.
So you essentially boiled my position down to: "Evolution programmed preference to avoid torture." or "we evolved preference to avoid torture" Does that sound incoherent or what... as if I would make such a silly claim. Keep straw-manning.
Do you think animals have PREFERENCE by default to avoid being tortured burned alive and have sex, or logically preferences are born out of observing problematic negative / positive assigned accordingly through punishment & reward mechanisms aka prescriptions, think long and hard about this one...
This is why value or ethical nihilism is incoherent to me. IF torture be bad, how can it be NOT-bad/neutral to create BAD?
It either is truly BAD or it isn't. It's either real or it's an illusion/delusion and false perception.
Their position must reduce to there is no MEANINGFUL difference between Torture & Bliss. And evolution didn't create any problematic sensation or true punishment whatsoever. Instead, were somehow deluded to view being boiling alive as problematic sensation/BAD, and relief as good, we can't tell the difference or label which is which...
Vegan Gains or any anti-realist needs to substantiate these anti-realist nihilist claims & concede if he agrees with the statements below:
"The value-laden problematic BAD experience of being tortured boiled alive in a vat of acid indefinitely... isn't really bad, evolution didn't successfully impose a real negative punishment mechanism on animals, torture isn't something I/we/animals had nothing to do with and are just byproduct observing the imposition, NO! Instead our opinion has everything to do with it... what's problematic torture, one is merely subjectively interpreting/inventing/proclaiming it to be so! Evolution failed!"
"Animals run from fire cause they irrationally unreasonably subjectively interpret it to be bad/problematic sensation or experience, not cause DNA molecule made it so objectively for evolutionary reasons"
"It is all subjective preference like flavor of potato chips, problematic torturous experience isn't bad you just think it's bad or have preference against it."
"You don't logically recognize intrinsic problematic torturous experience then logically assign solution to problem which is preference to avoid that experience, No, you merely have subjective delusional preference against a nail in your eye and there is no logic to it"
"Good is Bad, and Bad is Good depending on opinion, no right or wrong, all subjective tho"
value anti-realism nihilism. INSANE! WORSE than a flat-earth theory!

submitted by Professional-Map-762 to Efilism [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 14:13 OpiumBaron Inducing altered states of consciousness

Hi! I was reading about the various brain waves such as alpha, gamma etc.
This reminded me of the times I've been able to induce altered states in myself, I thought I'll do a little summary of what I have experienced.
Obvious nr 1 altered states induced trough plants, mushrooms and synthetic alkaloids, exogenous means. Psychedelics no doubt can be tools to reach very deep states of the subconscious and even a bridge to the "mind of the cosmos itsel.
Endogenous means. Dreams. During sleeping, drifting in a creative matrix with various levels of lucidity. Lucid dreaming being the peak state here. I've had dreams of such HD quality, able to steer the dream according to my whim. Flying, creating things trough pure thought. Surprised how I felt the wind and similar phenomenon. Always amazed at the intelligence of the dream as well, I've seen entire landscape arranged in extremely genius and artistic ways within seconds, reminds me a bit of AI and how it creates things I've u seen the ai pics online.
Hypnagogic state before falling asleep. If I for various reasons try to sleep, but have just a little to active mind or concentrate, eventually will feel the shift to deeper brainwaves. This state of like "liberating" the mind from its shackles. I'm able to visualize at extreme efficiency, make very profound realizations and also create music, feeling etc. it's like being in a 4D studio.
Trance state which I believe is common in African tribal dance, shamanic ceremony etc, often induced trough more energetic violent means such as dance, drums etc, it's also a letting go while doing these activities, similar to the hypnagogic state, but if hypnagogic state is like being in a sea on a clear sunny day a trance feels like being in a stormy ocean. Dynamic breathing can bring me here too, here things and experiences reveal themselves to me and I def get the "possession" aspect, u get possessed by archetypes.
Meditation is for me the state which being a luminous very clear state when practiced right, that can bring experience of non duality, bliss, merging with light and feeling clear and merged/non dual experience.
Daydream: a very light state somewhere just below the awake state, but really cought up in some sort of thought
These come to mind now and I've experienced all these states personally. I believe for true knowledge you cannot simply rely on the waking everyday consciousness but must learn to truly control the mind. I was somehow born with high intuition, existential/inner ability, and high empathy, whereas some of my family members where great with math but not so much existential intelligence and so on.
Anybody who want to chip in?

submitted by OpiumBaron to nonduality [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 13:59 too-many-calories My first pen just arrived, and I'm terrified.

6 months ago, the worst thing happened.
I'd been referred to the hospital for a general asthma check up. The nurse called me through for the preliminary height, weight and blood pressure checks, and as I stood on the scale, I watched the little wheel spin all the way round and hit the end. "oh," said the nurse, getting a little flushed. "there must be something wrong with these scales." I nodded in agreement, knowing full well there was nothing wrong with the scales, the problem, was very definitely me. "let me see if I can find something else." she said, as she bolted through the door.
The thing is, I've been huge since Year 7 at school, I started out really skinny, but at some point, it's like my metabolism just died. I got a little chunky, upgraded to paunchy, progressed through flabby and somehow arrived at a place where a nurse is dragging in some weird kind of bariatric chair scale. I sat in the chair, focused more on trying to not let the emotions I was feeling show on my face than I was anything else.
The result announced the nurse - "163kg - you don't look that big..."
163kg, which is over 25 1/2 stone, or just shy of 360lbs - a weight I'd only previously heard announced by the ring announcers at a wrestling show. (incidentally, a weight that was more often than not exaggerated for effect...)
Now I was kind of aware that I was huge - I just did everything in my power to avoid thinking about it. I avoided mirrors, bought baggy clothes online, casually selecting the most X's available, I'd get the bus, rather than risk squeezing myself onto the tube - even though it'd take an extra hour to reach my destination. Regardless of what I did however, the truth was there in front of me, sadly the world is far too full of mirrors and other reflective surfaces, the number of online retailers that could supply my need for multiple X's dwindled to one, and far too often i've sat skewed into an uncomfortable position to prevent myself encroaching onto the person who bravely sat next to me on the bus.
Every year (weirdly around this time) I'd get a lighting bolt of motivation, I'd join a gym, I'd sign up for some miserable food replacement shake plan, buy a diet book, count some calories and for a few months things seem positive. Then out of nowhere the motivation just dies, I go from weekly weigh-ins to fortnightly, the three times a week gym trips are skipped (only if its raining, or too sunny or maybe I didn't sleep well last night, I'll go tomorrow, I'll push myself a little more, unless its still raining...)
Whatever calorie counting app I'd settled on this time, that initially was full of hourly updates, now has more holes than the groins of my jeans. I hate myself for feeling this way, for failing again. I hate that my brain can navigate diet rules and find loopholes like a top barrister or tax accountant. I hate that I can't control myself, that I'm weak and pathetic and can somehow always find a way to sabotage my efforts and end up in a worse place eating my way up the BMI scale yet again.
So here we are, spurred on by a bariatric weighing experience, and looking for the lastest answer.
But I'm nervous. Sure the side effects don't sound great, the nausea, bloating, diarrhea. I can barely afford the treatment, the talk of not knowing the long term effects, the increased risk of cancer... non of that sounds great.
What I'm actually scared of though, is that despite the 'wonder drug' label, this is just something else that I'm going to fail with, another thing my broken brain will manage to bypass, shuffle around and sabotage. It really actually terrifies me, the thought that maybe I can't be helped.
Edit: First dose taken, trying to remain positive and I'm so appreciative of everyone who has commented, this is such a supportive group. I wish you all, all of the success. Lets do this.

submitted by too-many-calories to mounjarouk [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 13:56 OpiumBaron Inducing altered states of consciousness

submitted by OpiumBaron to Jung [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 12:45 lestabed weirdo allegations

yo i do not care about people first off lying about an age gap between me and my girlfriend being a year bigger than it actually is and the age gap between me and my gf is completely legal no matter how tryhard people might go to be chronically online and pretend a ninth and eleventh grader dating without even physically having contact with eachother and having never met yet is pedophilic that is a braindead take and i havent gotten any hate on anywhere except a couple reddit comments being bombed with downvotes because it is LITERALLY LEGAL REGARDLESS OF WHAT U WANNA SAY.
go look up can a ninth and eleventh grader date or sum shit and look at every single answer buddy im not dealing with any brainlet chronically online people refusing to believe that the law that verifies this is okay is valid. im still heated asf that anyone is genuinely brain dead enough to have a take that that is problematic and im offended asf i would get labeled that by degenerates
this situation is done closed and solved and theres no argument left to be had. expose me for having said the n word and other slurs in the past because ive been a junkie edgelord whos constantly high being a dickhead online dont dare make up some shit about me where you lie about the age of my girlfriend to make me look bad. call me out for one time in a gc about two to three years ago when i was 15 i started trolling and asking everyone to have sex with me and then someone got uncomfortable after saying they wanna ride my cock and so i told them to take a bus to pennsylvania and then they said they uncomfortable and so i profusely apologized to everyone there.
i have done shitty things but dont dare fucking call me out for something you want to believe because you dont like me you weird fuck
go stream trans trap its out now and this situation is done if i get harrassed anymore im not replying and will call the police on the person who is labeling me as this as i have their address from when theyve logged into my profile before and i got a pizza called to my old HOUSE yesterday and got called by the current residents asking why my name is delivering them pizza

submitted by lestabed to gundeityxlestabed [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 11:29 catespice Memoirs of a Long Pig

“We’re a meat family,” my dad would proudly tell strangers. He’d wait for the quizzical look, then launch into detail, starting with how many freezers we had, how long we could sustain ourselves on the contents. It was just his way of starting a conversation, which made sense when you considered that raising and home-killing animals for food was, for want of a better term, his life-long hobby. His prize possession was one of those industrial-sized vacuum sealers: you could put half a pig inside and wrap it in plastic so tightly that every wrinkle and skin fold waxed unreal with shiny detail.
If we hadn’t lived in a rural area, albeit semi-urbanised, I guess it would have been pretty weird. But the mostly farming-stock locals only found his extra enthusiasm a little bit odd.
When he wasn’t being a bit embarrassing talking about it, I never really paid much heed to his hobby. I had a child’s vaguely grateful awareness that though our family went through some lean financial times, our stomachs never suffered like some of the families around us. All the beef, pork, ham and bacon in those big old chest freezers passed down from his dad really could have fed us for years.
I should preface all this by saying that I wasn’t a particularly bright kid, though neither was I dumb. I didn’t fail badly at anything in school, I just never achieved beyond a pass. I didn’t know it yet back then, still quietly dreaming about being a ballet star or a dressage champion, but mediocrity was my destiny. And I think that’s why I got on so well with my Aunt Liz.
Liz was my dad’s live-in youngest sister. She was one of those women who get described as ‘bubbly’ — not really pretty, not really smart, not a lot going on besides just being… well, all Liz. But she was salt of the earth; kind, caring, and great with kids. She was the only person who would willingly mind my two older brothers, who fought like hellcats and caused more trouble than the whole last generation of my family combined. People would privately lament to my parents that it was a shame Liz didn’t have kids of her own, but dad would just shake his head and say Liz liked it that way – that all the fun of looking after kids is being able to give them back to their parents.
I guess she was like me; nice, but mediocre. Lovely, but somehow forgettable when she wasn’t doing something for you.
But when Liz left us, I couldn’t forget her.
In hindsight, it was pretty weird timing that we had a big fortieth birthday party for Liz right before she disappeared. She was radiant that night; she’d hired a local girl to do her hair and makeup, and it was honestly the first time I’d ever seen her look pretty. She’d even worn a push-up bra under a tight red dress, which flattered her very plump curves well enough that the neighbour’s farmhand was spotted disappearing into the woolshed with her for a snog. In my dawning awareness, that gave a plain girl hope: if Aunty Liz could get a guy at forty, maybe things would turn out okay for me.
Anyway, I couldn’t forget how her pink cheeks, her eyes, her whole self, glowed that night before Liz went to bed. She said it was the best birthday ever, and that she was very much looking forward to the next stage of her life.
Would I have done anything different, if I had known? If I had realised what, exactly, that next stage was?
The week after the party, Aunt Liz said she was going on a little holiday up north, to visit some old school friends. She packed her things – she didn’t honestly have that many – and drove her little orange mini out onto the main road. And with a wave of one fleshy hand, she was gone. Nobody really thought much of it when she didn’t call, because nobody rural had cellphones back then. And Liz was, as I said, somehow kinda forgettable when she wasn’t right in front of you.
When we hadn’t had contact for six weeks, Dad tracked down the land line numbers for their old school buddies. They were surprised to hear from him — Liz had never arrived, so they had just assumed she’d cancelled her visit. No-one had thought to check. I eavesdropped on the conversation, and it sounded for all the world like *they* had forgotten about Aunt Liz, too.
From there it became a missing person case. The local cops came and talked to all of us; the farmhand who’d been seen snogging her was briefly detained, then let go, dad got grilled at length, even my hellion brothers were questioned thoroughly to see if this was one of their wild and dangerous pranks gone wrong.
But everything was a dead end. Nobody knew where Liz was, or what had happened to her.
The remains of her old mini were found halfway across the country, burned out on a beach, on a derelict stretch of ragged, rocky coastline. The police assumed murder and combed the area for remains. But even the most expert divers couldn’t conquer the incredible undertow and fast-shifting seabed of that coastline to look for evidence, so none was forthcoming.
Eventually the cops collectively shrugged and said that there was really nothing more they could do unless more information suddenly came to light. The locals knew nothing, no witnesses had come forward, and the trail was cold. As far as anyone knew, poor aunt Liz had been murdered on some desolate beach, far away from her home.
It didn’t feel fair to me. She’d once mentioned wanting her remains buried on our farm, in the graveyard plot beside grandma and grandad.
So, in my grief, I went into her room to look for something of hers to bury beside them.
Like I said, Liz didn’t have many things. Her room was pretty spartan, and her wardrobe was mostly sensible farm stuff. There was one exception: she, like me, did like to read, and she had a pretty good collection of well-thumbed books. I think it’s the escapism – even the most mediocre girl can lose herself in the plot of some trashy romance novel, imagine there’s still hope of being swept off her feet by that handsome stableboy, his inexplicable yearning for chubby plain girls.
So I set myself the task of going through the books, to find the right one to bury in the graveyard plot.
Most of them were exactly what you’d expect, but some of them were racier than I was used to. I felt various parts of my body flushing and tingling, as I read breathless prose about calloused hands touching the softest flesh of the protagonist. Okay, if I’m honest with myself, I might have got a little *too* invested in my project at that point. But that was also why I persisted going through her entire collection, until I found the ragged paperback from 1970, entitled Tawny Sands. And inside that trashy cardboard romance cover, I discovered not the tale of Tawny Sands, but some carefully hand-cut, stitched-in pages. A handwritten story in my Aunt’s rounded penmanship: Memoirs of a Long Pig.
I read her story twice in a row, utterly gripped.
Aunt Liz was no Stephen King – heck, she wasn’t even the Goosebumps guy – but her story was gripping and compelling, and I couldn’t put it down. Even if I hadn’t known her, I think that would have been true.
The gist of it was that Liz, when she was sixteen, had discovered that our family had a very long history of eating what she described as ‘Long Pork’. It’s an antipodean term, anglicised from the Pacific Islands: human meat.
Like me, young Liz still had some hopes and dreams. In one of her many failed attempts to find a special talent, she’d taken up cooking as a hobby. Naturally, with our family’s overabundance of meat, she’d scoured the freezers in the shed for ingredients: the racks of ribs and stacks of pork chops, butcher-paper wrappings all neatly labelled with the first letter of the name of the animal they came from.
She found familiar meat from Rodney, one of the pigs that had been recently slaughtered, emblazoned with an ‘R’ in her father’s strong, blocky lettering. There were cutlets labelled ‘M’ for Mary, from one of the lambs she’d hand-reared, and ‘F’ for Ferdinand, the steer they’d killed the month before. But she couldn’t explain the many, many curious parcels of meat on one side of the huge freezer, all labelled ‘J’ – at least, not until she took it all out and assembled it as well as she could on the scoured concrete floor of the killing shed. A big, frozen jigsaw puzzle without the box, her best attempt to discover what kind of beast the pieces had come from.
The animal, she quickly realised, was a Long Pig. Her own Aunt Jenny, who had died the month before – just after her fortieth birthday.
Fortunately, or perhaps not, for Liz, her father entered the shed right at that moment and realised his daughter had discovered the family secret. He sat down calmly on the lid of the freezer, and explained to her that this was a long-running family tradition, dating back to at least before his grandfather had been born.
“There are always people in life, Liz,” he’d said, “who won’t really amount to much. They want to be useful, want to be more. They strive and they strive, trying job after job, hobby after hobby, trying to hit on something they’re really good at. Something that makes them special. Those people can waste their whole lives, chasing dreams that never come true. Eventually they die unfulfilled, knowing that all their time has been wasted. That what they leave behind will fade quickly.”
His voice was oddly gentle as he leaned down and patted one of the neatly wrapped cuts of Aunt Jenny, still sitting frozen on the shed floor.
“Your Aunt Jenny was one of those people. So was my Aunt Irene.” He paused to gaze at his daughter, his next words peppered with emphasis. “But you see, my sweet Liz, they did find a purpose in life. They did find a way to be special, and they left this world utterly certain of their gift.” He stood up, stretched his back. “Let me show you.”
Liz waited while my grandad meticulously stacked the meat back into the freezer, all but one J-marked parcel that looked for all the world like a thick venison steak. He took her back to the farmhouse, and reverently unwrapped the deep red, heavily marbled meat to let it thaw. Then he laid it in the family’s ancient, cast-iron pan, basting it with butter and rosemary until a heavenly scent filled the kitchen, and Aunt Liz couldn’t stop her mouth from watering.
“Just try it. Let her show you. You’ll see exactly what I’m talking about.”
Even though she knew it was her aunt, Liz couldn’t stop herself from taking that first bite. There was something transcendent about the smell, overriding her natural revulsion that this was human meat, not one of their farm animals. For the first time, she truly realised it: we’re just another kind of animal. And weren’t her memories of Mary the lamb almost as fond as her memories of Aunt Jenny?
Liz explained then, in her curly handwriting, the explosion of taste that had assaulted her when she tried the steak. It was tender, it was succulent, it was rich beyond imagining. The fats melted on her tongue, lingering somewhere between pork and beef, but oddly neither. The flavour of the meat defied identification; something familiar, yet not.
But one thing she couldn’t deny; it was the most delicious thing she had ever eaten. Tears dripped onto her plate, mingled with the juice, the grease — not grief, but a pure, real, giddy delight.
“You’re tasting your aunt’s love for this family,” my grandad explained. “Her entire life was carefully curated, to eventually make unforgettable moments for us, just like this. This was her way of being special. This was the greatest gift she could possibly bring to our world – and because she realised that, she died with not a single regret. She knew her life had purpose. She was perfectly, completely fulfilled.”
I felt those words. I felt them lodge in my own belly, settling uncomfortably deep. I knew Aunt Liz, probably better than anyone else in the family. I’d seen how fucking happy she’d been on her fortieth, how goddamn fulfilled she was, despite apparently being a *nobody* and achieving *nothing*. Somehow, in the space of a single day, she had gone from being a forgettable background character to becoming the *main character*, immortalising herself in our family’s history with her sacrifice. Quite literally becoming part of all of us, forever.
I went to the killing shed after I finished with the book. I looked inside the freezers.
But there were no vacuum-sealed packages labelled ‘L’, no matter how deep I dug into the frozen stacks of plastic-wrapped flesh. Panicked now, not sure if I wanted to connect all the dots or unconnect them, I tried to think back over the last few months, recall any meals that had been unusually good. A few Sundays ago, we’d had a stew that really hit the spot and left me craving more. And I realised that the family had a really good night that night; my brothers behaved themselves, my parents didn’t fight, and grandma and grandad had been there. Hadn’t they looked far more… expectant than they should have?
I strained my brain, trying to recall if I’d seen the homekill bag on the kitchen bench – if I’d registered what letter it was. I knew it wasn’t an L. I would have remembered if it was an L.
And then it hit me, the memory, the connection, sizzling as if branded with a hot iron.
It had been an ‘E’.
E for Elizabeth. Not for Edward the pig.
I snorted at my own stupidity – of *course* Liz was short for Elizabeth – and as I comprehended my lack of smarts, I felt something give inside me.
I wasn’t clever, and nothing, nothing would ever make me smart. I had no big talents. I wasn’t beautiful, or even cute – and even if I had a million plastic surgeries, it still wouldn’t fulfill me. It wouldn’t be real.
I was a Liz.
I was a Jenny.
I was whoever the first aunt had been, the aunt who had dedicated her life to making her flesh as delicious as possible, who had worked every damn minute to be the best Long Pig she could ever be.
I wondered how many magical family evenings had been spent eating Aunt Jenny. How many glorious, satisfying, memorable dishes had been made out of her.
And… I wanted that. I wanted to finally know I had a *purpose* in life. One so simple, and so easy to achieve.
I wanted what Aunt Liz had.
***
It's my fortieth birthday today and I’m so fucking excited. For the last twenty-four years, I’ve dedicated myself to this moment; I’ve eaten exactly what I needed to, I’ve exercised just enough, but not too much, to maintain that perfect balance of marbling vs tenderness. I’ve relaxed and meditated to keep all those amazing flavours inside of me. I’ve researched all the greatest meats in the world, from prime Angus beef to A5 Wagyu. I really think I may have outdone myself.
I’m having my hair and makeup done at the local salon this afternoon, and I’m going to look so pretty; all prize piggy on show at the fair. I’m even going to have a big red ribbon in my hair, in memory of Aunt Liz.
Maybe there’ll be a cute boy I can snog in the wool shed, maybe there won’t – I don’t really care; because the most important, most certain thing is that I’m going to be the most delicious Long Pig in the history of our entire family.
I’m going to make everyone so damn happy, and I’m just so glad I can share my story with you all, instead of hiding it in a grubby book like poor Aunt Liz.
My only real disappointment? That you won’t get to taste me.
Reader, I have loved, loved my life. My Long Pork will be out of this world: once tasted, never, ever forgotten.

submitted by catespice to ByfelsDisciple [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 10:48 supremejesusx My ex moved out when i was at work

We were madly in love. Both not looking for something but still ended up together. After a few months decided to move in together because it didnt work out at her place and mine either with roommates.
Fights started to come and she liked to let it be which was totally opposed to me wanting to sort it out immediately. I kept giving little gestures of love like kisses and hugs as a ritual for coming home, before eating or sleeping.
After a while stuff didnt get resolved. I had a mental breakdown because of the pressure at work and she saw me cry for the first time..
Slowly we started going to sleep with unresolved arguments. Everytime something came up it started snowballing.
We decided to try and talk even though both stubborn but never managed to listen, just having hours long talks until we sort of agreed.
At some point we had to move again. She was away from her family as they lived in another country. The appartment was super small, she hated her job. I agreed to an internship for a while so was not paid. The pressure increased. We got into the same fights and dindnt really resolve them anymore until i accidentally mentioned her moving back to her family. At some point she did.
I was broken inside.
Long story short after about a month somehow i mentioned to get her back, her stuff was still there also so she had to come at some point. I was overjoyed. She didnt have a job anymore and i continued my internship which put another pressure on us to pay bills, some disagreements and the fragility of the situation made the hard times come back although i promised her i would never make her feel sad again. A few times i mentioned i was not feeling good, hoping to be heard but instead it always went to making her feel upset because i told her i didnt feel good.
It created frustrations and we had a bigger fight again.
This day she moved out with ALL of her stuff without me being there or having the chance to talk. (She was back for about 2 weeks).
We agreed to try no contact. Which we both broke a but occasionally. I know she still felt for me so i planned a suprise trip, flew close to her hometown and booked an airbnb. She was shocked but we talked and had the most amazing weekend. I knew how she loved not having to pick so i brought her a luxury dress, skirt and a book i wrote my thoughts in during no contact reminiscing about our good times.
We started talking again, watching shows on netflix and slowly talked about getting to know rach other again. I felt happy as it was going in a very good direction. This lasted for about a month and a half, a discussion or two occured where i talked about needing some reassurance. She never wznted to give it to me. Even though we had daily calls,she said she loved me and i needed to trust her actions on this. When i was out she was jealous often and scared i would date other girls.
I made it very clear i'd wait and give her what she wanted even though it was hard. Extremely hard.
I planned another holiday with her and she agreed.
At some point she started a new job, she stopped using all the apps as much that we shared as a couple (livestatus,ally) and started having less time for movies/calls slowly. I felt like something was off but she told me tshe called when she could and sends me pictures so it should be okay.
She mentioned sometimes she didnt want a relationship. But we also talked a lot about not being able to be friends and that what we were doing was slowly dating and having a relationship. It was so confusing and a rollercoaster everyday.
Sidenote: we still had alot of bulls to pay when we split and i took care of that for her ( few thousands)
The holiday is supposed to be in six days Yesterday she called and told me finally that she doesnt think its fair to me that i do all this and spend all this money. We both cried. She told m that it was probably not going to happen, that the trip maybe might not be a good idea. All along also now she told me she loved me and cared for me deeply. But it broke all trust in me.
I hope she still wants to go. I know theres something and that she might be afraid to follow her heart instead of her mind.
I want the best for her and am sure i could give her that. But somehow she tries to convince herself in me being some evil person because of the arguments.
With every thought instead of considering im human she brings up some clinical term to try and put a label on it.
Now i dont only feel heartbroken but also used and like the love was bever real.as she was the one that wanted to marry and was so extremely in love in the first place
TL:DR
Very in love, moved together, started not resolving fights and she moved countries away. Keeping me around until she felt better while i was down to give her the world. Holiday together in six days. My brain is scrambled

submitted by supremejesusx to BreakUps [link] [comments]

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