Summer is officially here, and you know what that means – it's time to refresh our wardrobes with those breezy, beautiful summer dresses! Whether you're hitting the beach, enjoying a picnic, or just soaking up the sun, the perfect summer dress is a must-have. Let's dive into the top trends, styles, and tips for rocking the best summer dresses this season!

1. Floral Frenzy

Nothing says summer quite like a vibrant floral dress. From bold, oversized prints to delicate daisy patterns, floral dresses are a timeless choice. Pair them with a straw hat and some cute sandals, and you're ready for any summer adventure.

• Tip: Look for lightweight fabrics like cotton or linen to keep cool.
• Style Idea: Midi-length floral dress with puff sleeves for a romantic look.

2. Maxi Magic

Maxi dresses are the epitome of effortless chic. They provide comfort while giving you that goddess-like flow. Perfect for beach days or casual evenings out.

• Tip: Opt for slits or wrap styles to add some flair and movement.
• Style Idea: Boho-inspired maxi with tassel details and earthy tones.

3. Bold and Bright

Summer is the season to embrace color! Think neon pinks, sunny yellows, and electric blues. Bright dresses not only lift your spirits but also make you stand out in a crowd.

• Tip: Accessorize with neutral or metallic pieces to balance the boldness.
• Style Idea: A-line dress in a vibrant hue paired with white sneakers for a sporty-chic look.

4. Elegant and Effortless

For those who prefer a more understated look, minimalist dresses in neutral tones or soft pastels are perfect. They exude elegance and can easily transition from day to night.

• Tip: Focus on quality fabrics and simple, clean lines.
• Style Idea: Sleek slip dress in a pastel shade, perfect for layering with a denim jacket.

5. Sustainable Styles

Eco-friendly fashion is in vogue! Look for brands that offer sustainable and ethically-made summer dresses. Organic cotton, recycled materials, and fair trade practices are some key things to watch for.

• Tip: Support local brands and artisans to reduce your carbon footprint.
• Style Idea: Handcrafted dress with unique prints and patterns.

6. Accessorize Your Look

Don't forget to elevate your summer dress with the right accessories. Here are a few must-haves:

• Straw hats for a classic summer vibe.
• Statement sunglasses to protect your eyes in style.
• Woven bags that add texture and are perfect for carrying all your summer essentials.
• Comfortable yet stylish footwear like espadrilles, sandals, or even chunky sneakers.

7. Share Your Summer Dress Selfies

We want to see your summer style! Drop your photos in the comments and let's celebrate the season together. Plus, share your favorite brands and shops – we're always on the lookout for new fashion inspiration!
Stay cool, stay stylish, and enjoy every sunny moment!

I know I’m not going to find love here on Reddit, so let’s see if we can at least find some fun in the form of a FWB (emphasis on friend).
Maybe it’s time to be even more direct about what I’m looking for. Where’s my guy that’s built like Stuart McCloskey and has the temperament and lovability of Roy Kent? Everyone says he’s here, he’s there, he’s everywhere, but where?! Bonus points for an Irish or an English accent.
My perfect Sunday would be hitting legs at the gym, followed by brunch. Then get home for some “cardio”, cuddles, movies, and more “cardio”.
Chemistry and mutual attraction is very important. I’ve gone through enough messages on here to quickly distinguish if we have that chemistry, so come with your A game.
I don’t respond to low effort messages, and I will rarely respond to messages without a photo. Also. I’m not looking for a pen pal.
Please be naturally dominant, between 30-40, single, respectful of boundaries, DDF and tested regularly, live alone, and have a great sense of aftercare. I will ask for you to verify that you’re a real person before we get too far into conversations, and meeting in a public place is mandatory before we ever do anything behind closed doors.
About me: A woman who enjoys traveling the world (this is important), photography, lifting heavy, rugby & soccer (obviously), 90s R&B, and FOOD. I write, read a lot, sing, and dance. I can also build things and drive stick.
C’eat moi: https://imgur.com/a/mU06Y9B

Helloooo people of the internet. How’re you? Imma great! Imma bout to shower and wind down for the evening myself, hopefully you’ve had a wonderful day too! Hopefully you wander across my post and decide to send me one of those lovely chat bubbles or envelops that we all look forward to around here. Anyway, lemme tell you about myself and give you a reason to do that!
Soooo, I’m not your typical guy, I’m definitely a jack of all trades in terms of personality. I’m a bit of an introvert here, extrovert there, nerdy, but sporty, creative but also sometimes dense. I will say I’m not so much of a serious person, I try to keep things light and silly for the most part. Yknow, when appropriate. Not dropping jokes at a funeral or anything. But anyway, I’m into all sorts of things, I love to paint miniature Warhammer models and just enjoy art in general. Also an aspiring writer in my limited free time! With that, I love books, with the lord of the rings being my absolute favorite book of all time. Like most guys my age I game, mainly Xbox and pc with a big ol library of games.
I also love being outdoors, big into playing soccer, hiking, kayaking and swimming and working out to stay active yknow. If you’re down for an adventure I’m totally game. I’m definitely a countryside guy way more than a city guy, and I’ve love to move somewhere tucked up under some mountains someday. I’ve always had this dream to build and maintain my own little homestead, fit with chickens and goats and all sorts of critters we take care of together, if that’s sounds lovely to you, by all means shoot me a message!
Soooo Ideally I’m looking for something long term and meaningful. I don’t have any dealbreakers really as long as you’re a healthy person with a good head on your shoulders we will probably get along pretty well. Otherwise, things like age, race or location don’t bother me. I dooo have a thing for taller women, but that’s not a dealbreaker. If any of this speaks to you then don’t be afraid to dm me, I’d love to hear from you! :)

Let me give some backstory because there were 3 main “events” that led me to eventually ghosting this person. (Please forgive me, this may end up a little lengthy. Also, this wasn’t written as well as the first draft but that one got deleted)
Event #1: In high school, there were 4 of us that were really close. We will call them each, Diana, Julia, and Jack. Julia worshiped Diana. Diana could do no wrong in Julia’s eyes. Diana and Jack were a couple. They dated the majority of high school. All the way up to the summer before our senior year. Obviously, it was hard on the couple, but it was also difficult for ALL of their friends because we were expected to pick a side. Julia took Diana’s side, no questions and no doubts. It felt like I was the only one that wanted to remain neutral because I considered both Diana and Jack really good friends. Not just the typical, Jack was a friend because he was Diana’s boyfriend. Anyways, trying to remain neutral I gave support to both of them, the best I could. Jack confided in me that the reason he broke off the relationship was he had become overwhelmed by the drama Diana created. This made sense to me because Diana CRAVED drama. She created drama All. The. Time. (Looking back, I have no idea how I was friends with either of them. These friendships were just those friendships that some how… became and existed) The break up launched a series of dramatic situations created by Diana that escalated. These situations ended with Diana sleeping with a random guy from our school, 2 maybe 3 weeks after breaking up, and she ended up pregnant. The school year started up and as more kids found out about her pregnancy, the more rumors started going around. The biggest one – Jack was the father. Pregnant teens were absolutely not common in my high school. And Jack was being blamed for the situation Diana was in. Feeling empathy for my friend, I continued to be Jacks friend because most of his other friends were isolating him and giving him the cold shoulder. (To make it completely clear – Jack and I only felt friendship for each other, nothing more.) Julia hated that I was continuing to be Jacks friend. Julia accused me of betraying Diana and yelling at me for even talking to him - Jack: the one that got Diana pregnant. Julia said that she knew I couldn’t be trusted and was a horrible friend. The kicker? Julia and I knew who got Diana pregnant. Diana told us. Julia fed the rumors about Jack being the father, even though she knew the truth! For the sake of keeping the peace and adhering to the “Girl Code” I had to let the friendship with Jack dwindle to an occasional friendly wave in the hallway. A rift between Diana & Julia and myself grew regardless. The way they treated me began to change – talking down to me and keeping me out of conversations. I can guarantee they had conversations behind my back (as teenage girls do.) I can also guarantee Julia was the mastermind because Diana was too busy with the drama/attention of her pregnancy to notice anything or anyone else. I was already dealing with things at home and on top of it, had to maneuver the drama with my so called best friends. Julia doing this hurt so much because friends don’t do that. On top of it, I had a similar situation happen in middle school with a previous group of friends.
Event #2: (my main reason I don’t consider them a friend) Through Jr and Sr High school I had a crush mostly on one guy. There were other little crushes, but he was always the main one. We will call him Mark. Mark and I were actually really good friends. He was in a different friend group than Diana, Jack, and Julia. He and his friend welcomed me into their group when the drama was happening our senior year. Mark actually knew I had a crush on him. He was as kind as possible when he turned me down. Mark said he was committed to his own crush (who turned him down, saying she didn’t want to date in high school) Mark believed she was “the one” and was trying to not date anyone else as a sign of loyalty to her. Realizing Mark wasn’t going to change his mind, I had a hard time pretending and convincing myself I shouldn’t and didn’t have a crush on him. Doing so actually opened a door for Mark and I to become even closer friends. I hung out with him and his two guy friends a lot. Especially after we graduated high school. In fact, the majority of that calendar year, I basically didn’t spend any time with Diana and Julia. At the end of that year, the holiday season, all of the sudden Mark wasn’t hanging out with us as much. Our two friends told me he had a girlfriend. I assumed it was the girl he had a crush on. Especially because our friends said things like “he is picking up his girlfriend from the high school.” (his crush was the year behind us) a few weeks went by and it was almost Christmas. One of my friends was throwing a Christmas party, a bunch of us were invited. While I was hanging out in the front room with others, Mark came in through the front door, his girlfriend behind him. I couldn’t help but look in disbelief. His girlfriend wasn’t his crush, but was none other than Julia. Julia was also in the year behind us and was still going to school. Julia noticed me looking and as Mark turned away from her, she grabbed him, turned him back toward her and kissed him. I was already trying to tell myself it wasn’t a big deal. But then Julia, mid-kiss, looked straight at me. The kiss wasn’t very long but still. Some of you may argue that she was “concerned” about my reaction. But it was her grin and wave afterwards that told me Julia was gloating. Gloating that she was now dating the guy I had a crush on for years. And despite trying to deny it, I still had a crush on him. I left that friend group as well because I knew Julia was going to be there more often, which would inevitably ruin that group for me as well. I didn’t want to deal with the drama and hurt so I cut my losses.
Event #3: (the reminder event) A couple years later, Diana and Julia were married with kids. They had moved out of town, Julia even moved out of state. I got a message from Julia, sent to both Diana and I, asking if we would like to meet for lunch the next week because she (Julia) was coming into town to see family. As best as I could tell, Diana and Julia went their separate ways after we all graduated high school. For the sake of the friendship we once had, I agreed to meet. The day came, we get our food and sit down. They immediately start talking about their husbands and kids. Which is totally understandable, we were there to catch up. Thing is, I was still single – no kids, no husband. So I couldn’t add much to the conversation to relate and there wasn’t much of an opportunity to even ask questions. I finished my lunch while listening to them talk. At this point, 30-45 minutes went by and no one asked me how my life was going beyond the initial “How are you?!” when we first met up and got in line to order our food. Feeling very much like a third wheel, I wanted a chance to talk with my old friends. Finding an opportunity to organically get involved, I did so. I don’t remember what the conversation was about but I do remember I added to the conversation by saying something as simple as “Have you seen that movie yet?” Julia looked me dead in the eyes, said something specifically in response to my question and added “You aren’t even married or have a kid yet, you wouldn’t understand.” Diana laughed a little and added, “Not yet” They then continued to talk about their kids till it was decided we had been there long enough (a total of nearly 2 hrs) Today, I am married and have a kid of my own. I could talk about my kid all day long. But I don’t, because I considered it a basic social skill to be able to talk about other things. Especially to keep others involved in conversation. After this last situation, I was reminded of the way she treated me. So, I committed to keeping both, specifically Julia at a distance. At first Julia would try to convince me to visit her where she lived. Even after getting married. It eventually dwindled down to maybe 1 or 2 messages from her a year. Through all this time I give very minimal responses if Julia Facebook messages me.
I never confronted either of them about everything because I knew it would cause more drama that wasn’t worth dealing with.
So AITA?
Some of you may be looking for the petty. Well, to keep it short, Mark and I started dating 5 years after graduating high school. We have been together for 9 ½ years, married 7 ½ years, and have a beautiful 3yr old girl.
If you guys want an update on his experience dating Julia (he says it was the worse relationship he had) and how Mark and I ended up together, lmk!

(My post got deleted from AITA, so I'm here) I think the title kinda says a lot but I'd just like to put out a few important details:

1. I'm a minor (still in high school)
2. I'm recovering from an ED and struggle with depression
3. I really care about school and want to succeed further in life.
4. This is sort of a throwaway account. I was planning to use it earlier but procrastinated until I'm here today.

Ok anyways, here's a quick overview of what happened. I have an older sister who's in college. She has a friend who recently had a baby boy. Now, my sister is close with this friend, if my memory serves me right, they met sometime in highschool. My sister is visiting my mom and me for the summer (parents are divorced if anyone's curious) and invited her friend and friend's boyfriend to come over so we can meet the baby.
My sister's friend said yes and was really happy to come over. She has known me since I was little and kinda views me as her younger sister. I don't really feel the same as we have a big age gap and the only distinct memories of her "bonding" with me were because of my sister inviting her over, or just trying to babysit for a few extra bucks.
Anyways, she wanted me to meet my new "nephew." So let me hold him and starting talking about stuff related to her joy with pregnancy, which I didn't mind until she started talking about some other experiences. She started telling me how she actually had another pregnancy before this which ended in a misscarriage. She then started telling me a lot of details about it.
Now, I don't mind when people vent, I think it's healthy to get something off of your chest, but I'm just really bad at comforting. My mom used to raise my sister and me to think that "feeling bad emotions = bad/weak/not real." She doesn't do that anymore, but I still have a habit of following her outdated parenting. My dad also vents to me about stuff related to his adult-life, which makes me feel uncomfortable, because we're in two different stages in our life, and he always made me feel like I was responsible for. So yeah, I'm not particularly good at comforting people when they're venting.
Anyways, as my sister's friend started to vent more to me, she asked what I would do in her situation. I thought she meant if I were exactly in her shoes right then and there, so I said I'd probably try my best and get help from friends since she wanted this baby. Sister's friend corrected me, and asked what I would do if I were in her situation right now. Like if I just found out I was pregnant in my own life currently, not her shoes.
In all honesty, I'm not very active in the ongoing abortion debate in America. I just somewhat know about each side's stands and I do tend to lean forwards the pro-choice side because of how even life-saving abortions are being banned.
When truly thinking about, I would probably get an abortion. I mean, I'm a minor, my mom is strict and has always told me and my sister she'd throw us out if we got pregnant (so there goes the person I'm reliant on and major support-system), I'm trying to focus on school (or was, it's summer, so I'm just focused on extra-curriculars and my summer-credit classes). I also attend a very academically school (stereotypical for gifted students) that my mom worked really hard to get me into, and with the amount of work we have to do, I'd probably have to dropout if I were pregnant thus ruining my mom's hardwork and a lot of future opportunities for me. I have to take meds for my medical issues so being pregnant would mean I'd have to go off of them and risk my mental health falling to a place where I want to dei again. I don't even want kids, and if I did I would want to have them in my 30's. A lot of pregnancies under 19 are also considered high-risk, so there's that. I'm not interested in dating any guys at this moment of my life, so there's already bad signs.
I kept it brief, and told her, "I wouldn't have been able to be as strong as her in that situation." I thought she'd be satisfied, but she kept pressing on, asking what that meant, and what would my reaction be, would I be happy, sad, mad? When I tried shrugging it off and simple 'I don't knows' and 'I don't really want to talk about this anymore' She just kept asking a lot of questions and pressuring me, so I gave up and just said "I wouldn't keep it." She then got really upset and said how could I kill her innocent baby and what is wrong with me. She started yelling at me saying how wrong I am and her baby didn't do anything.
My mom heard this and asked her and her company to leave. Then a few hours later, my mom told me how sister's friend was really hurt about what I said l and I should've been more sensitive because of her hormones and stuff. My sister was the opposite. She said her friend didn't have any business telling a minor they need to keep a baby and how messed up it was to ask a minor how'd they react if they were suddenly pregnant one day despite (somewhat) knowing my issues.
To keep it short because the post is already long, my sister and mom bickered a bit which ultimately ended with my mom thinking I was TA and my sister thinking I wasn't. I'm just conflicted about all of this now because on one hand my mom has been pregnant and probably knows what hormones do to you and what I said might've been really harmful, but my sister has been friends with this girl for years, so even her pointing out that she might've been wrong is shocking.
AITA/AITAH?

[CW: talk of ableism and trauma]
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TL;DR: My dad said to my mom when I took out my new fidget toy after a fairly traumatic day: “he’s (not my preferred pronouns) just going into ‘Autistic Mode’”. He said that he would look into group homes tomorrow again because I “treat them like shit”. I shut down around them, and have been doing so for at least a week or more. I don’t have a job, freshly graduated from college as of December, and I have been struggling to get interviews. I have been using my university’s career services and got accepted into Vocational Rehab, but my parents keep threatening to kick me out of the house and be done with me.
——————————
For reference, I am highly confident I am Autistic and ADHD, but I have not been officially diagnosed. I have a referral and am in the process. My med manager is treating me with non-stimulants which work well and have increased executive function. I have also been exploring my being queer over the last few years, but only recently tried to explain to my parents in totality last November.
I knew they are queerphobic, and I knew that I annoy / upset them when I don’t talk and engage, and that when I talk it’s too much and not about the right thing. I just wanted to believe I was wrong. I wanted to believe I was reading into things because I’ve had so many past experiences where what I felt and what I thought turned out to be false. And they say they love me, and they love me so much that they hate to see me in pain, and so I wanted to believe that it’s true.
The last few days have been hard. My parents had family friends over (that have known me since I was a baby, and they have two adult children that didn’t come this round) for memorial day weekend from out of state. Since seeing the friends last, I have been doing a lot of self-discovery and further accepting the queer parts of myself. I hadn’t been planning to change my name, until by happenstance I found one online that I wanted to be mine due to it's simplicity and androgynous nature. But my parents (and my brother, though he has trans friends) have not been supportive. I just thought they raised me and gave me a name they picked out and so didn’t want to use a new one. It doesn’t make it better, but it’s something.
But they have made it clear in past conversations that it would be unfair for me to tell family friends and extended relatives. And so I spent all of last week before the weekend trying to debate whether I should tell the family friends that were coming over in a text message before they arrived. I tried to summon the courage, but I ended up not doing that. So when I first saw them, I shut down when their first words were “Hey, ”. I decided that I would make myself scarce because I knew I would just keep shutting down and having trouble speaking with them. Literally, it would be the same as with my parents where either the words don’t come or I don’t have the energy to get them past my throat.
So, I tried to be polite when I saw them and just didn’t engage in extensive conversation. When they left, my dad told me I was rude and selfish, and that I need to write them a letter to apologize. I ended up sending them a text today to apologize (didn't explain everything), but I didn’t want to send a letter because I am tired of using my dead name, and I would need to sign it.
I have been trying to avoid my parents even though we live in the same house because I don’t have a job yet. I recently graduated from college in December, but I have not been able to get interviews. I have been making use of my university’s career services and made appointments with the head of engineering to make my resume more appealing in terms of software engineering. I graduated with Interdisciplinary Studies focusing on Computer Science, Creative Writing, and Linguistics. I just want a job right now, and computer jobs pay well. I am hoping to figure out something beneficial in Creative Writing later, maybe Ghost Writing or something that might pay better than that. I also got accepted to use Vocational Rehab, and so I have been working with them.
But, since I am avoiding my parents, they believe I am trying to make it clear that I hate them. They consistently say that I “treat them like shit” and I am “lazy and just want an easy life”. Today has been a hard day after all the turmoil over the last week, and so I have had very little energy. I thought I could be experiencing depression, but I know what that feels like and where it leads. I am not there yet. So, I think the best word to describe it is probably dejected. Like the people who are constantly in my life don’t want me. In the late afternoon, I decided I didn’t just want to sit up in my room anymore, so I drove down to my bookstore to browse, and then checked to see if I could refill my meds. I had about an hour where I started feeling happy and enjoying myself, especially being able to browse the books and look at the descriptions on the back and recording the ones I want to read for later.
When I got home for dinner so my parents didn’t get mad, it was like all that happiness disappeared the moment I saw them. I could not move my face even if I wanted to, to pretend like I was cheery and all right. We got dinner out, and then I sat down. The counselor I like seeing at career services is also an ADHDer. I saw her last week to go over more plans for jobs, and she showed me the various baskets of stim toys she keeps on her bookshelf to hand out to students. She gave me one that’s a tightly knit, long rectangle and has a small glass ball inside. You squeeze it and the ball moves back and forth.
I haven’t used stim toys much growing up because I thought I was supposed to bear all the frustration and anxiety. But I have been trying to treat myself kinder over the last few months. So, I’ve been taking that stim toy with me, and had it when I went to the bookstore. With dinner set up, my parents were trying to get me to interact and “be better”. Without thinking, I took out the stim toy. My dad said I was going into “Autistic Mode” and that they can’t do anything. He will look at group homes again tomorrow.
…
Up until that moment, I had doubts. I thought that they really were trying to accept me and it was just hard, especially with all the queerness and years of mental health management (since 2019 when I broke down). But over the last month or so, I’ve had various times where I needed to record my mental health history for intake and I started talking about my parents and how I am starting to recognize the gaslighting and emotional abuse.
I have also been trying hard to remember the good moments. But I can't remember a moment where I was showing signs I am clearly Autistic or ADHD, and that they genuinely enjoyed and loved it. Especially as I've gotten older. I remember them expecting me to get good grades in school from the beginning. If it wasn't "A"s they were upset, and if I failed a test they told me to study again and took me down to school to convince the teacher to let me test again. If I couldn't prove I knew the material and the teacher didn't let me retake it, then I was shunned on the way home.
I want so much to be wrong. I want so much for them to be right and that it's me who is abusing them like they say it is. I don't know why--I don't really feel any emotional love for them and I don't think I ever did, I just don't want them to suffer--but if I am the one who's hurting them then maybe I can change and stop. Maybe I can get better and show them love and be nice to them like they deserve. I wouldn't need to make a plan to estrange myself from them when I am on my feet to better take care of myself. I wish it was me.
I don't know why I am writing all of this. You all have your own problems and don't need to load on mine, and I am not going to pretend I have it the worst even just in my own city. I also feel manipulative, like I am only writing the bad parts and that I should try to remember and describe the good parts.
I just don't have anyone I can talk to right now. I have been out of therapy for a few months. I have been on wait lists for more experienced therapists dealing with gender-affirming care, since that has become a bigger problem. I have something scheduled for the middle of next month with a more general therapist and a referral to a specialized therapist as well.
But I just want to talk to someone who understands. I don't have that in my life. When doctors ask me if I have anyone I can just vent to or trust, I can't think of anyone. I have one friend, but since graduating we only meet up once a month. I can share a lot with her and she is supportive, but then I feel like that one meeting is filled with me trying to vent and seek therapy from her. I don't really want more social interaction, but I want to feel like someone sees me, the real me, and they actually like what they see.
I plan to call the suicide hotline tomorrow. Not because I am suicidal, but because I was told I don't need to be suicidal to call. I know my parents will hear me on the phone if I call tonight, and I don't really want to spend a long time writing out the words in a text to the text number to explain everything when the person on the other end might not be able to fully understand, and so they would just tell me what they think I need to hear. But I guess I'd get the same from the phone call.
I don't know how to wrap this up, and it sounds when I read this over like I am quite lucid and therefore being petty by putting this here. I am lucid, but it doesn't really help me feel better. I can't lie to myself anymore; I've been trying so hard to not lie to myself when I spot it. I am sorry for the long rambling and various tangents. I just want to put this somewhere where people might understand.

Hi everyone! I’m an incoming freshman (F17). I applied undecided into the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences. I have a few questions about Villanova. If anyone can answer even one of them it would be a huge help. Reddit seems to be the best forum regarding Nova I can find.

1. CLAS: I know CLAS is gets a bit of a bad rep compared to the business school, engineering school, and nursing school. How significantly does a student feel that on campus?
   
2. ASL: I want to take American Sign Language for my language requirement. I’ve taken Spanish from elementary school to junior year, and it’s always been my worst subject. I can’t take another year of it. Has anyone here taken the ASL course? How was the professor? How difficult is it? If I end up hating it- what is a language you recommend?
   
3. Professors: Please give me any / all teacher recommendations - who to stay away from , who will give me an easy grade , who makes their class borderline impossible with workload and grading , etc.
   
4. Mathematics requirement: I didn’t take any AP/IB classes (my high school doesn’t offer them) but I did take Calculus in my senior year and got a 98.78 in the class (I dropped from AB Calculus and am pretty good at Math). If you are in CLAS - what math did you take? I don’t really understand what some of the options are (discrete math for the social sciences, Mathematics of Fairness, Calculus 1 for Liberal Arts, Calculus 2 for Liberal Arts, Regular Calculus 1, Regular Calculus 2, Logic something or another). First of all if anyone could give me any insights on any of these that would be amazing. Secondly, what is the difference between Calculus for Liberal Arts versus just the normal Calculus? Also, is it worth it to try Calculus 2 even though I didn’t take the AP? Does it matter at all? If I decide to transfer out of Villanova will other colleges care if I take what sounds like bs math courses? What teachers should I try to get for any of these courses?
   
5. Housing: I didn’t apply for Communitas, but I was reading a lot of posts and comments here that said you want to be in the South Campus as a freshmen. I’m also not in the honors program. Which are the best buildings for a freshman. I had to rank my choices in the Housing application and said Good Counsel, St. Katharine, St. Monica’s (I think). But I really didn’t have any information and am kind of scared. Any insights?
   
6. Social Scene: I’m definitely not going to join a sorority. I’ve seen posts here from like the 2000s that say if you are a girl you won’t have trouble getting into parties. Is that still applicable? Also where do people get alc? I have a fake (or should in abt 2 weeks). Are there any go-to bars or convenience stores to bring drinks back to dorms.
   
7. Advice: Any specific tips/recs for succeeding at Nova besides the generic make relationships with your teachers, go to office hours, study, read the syllabus, etc.?
   

From Huberman Labs podcast episode "Dr. Robert Sapolsky: Science of Stress, Testosterone & Free Will Episode 35 Huberman Lab" Ignoring the name, this discussion of women, estrogen, and menopause shows up partway through and its fantastic!
Youtube Spotify Apple Podcasts
Robert Sapolsky (34:56):
No, and it’s once again, very context dependent. And if estrogen after giving birth is playing a central role in you wanting to shred the face of somebody getting too close to your kittens kind of thing, we know it’s not just warm, fuzzy, empathic kind of stuff. Estrogen in lots of ways could be summarized by if you had a choice in the matter between having a lot of estrogen in your bloodstream or not, go for having a lot of estrogen.
(35:27):
It enhances cognition exactly as you said. It stimulates neurogenesis in the hippocampus. It increases glucose and oxygen delivery. It protects you from dementia. It decreases inflammatory oxidative damage to blood vessels, which is why it’s good for protecting from cardiovascular disease in contrast to testosterone, which is making every one of those things worse. This brings up this minefield of the question, which is, so what about post-menopausal estrogen?
(36:04):
And all sorts of lab studies with non-human primates suggested that you keep estrogen levels high after a monkey’s equivalent of menopause, and you’re going to keep brain health a lot better, decreasing the risk of dementia, stroke, every such thing. Estrogen is a great antioxidant, all of that. So in the 90s, I think, when Healy, I’m forgetting her name, but when there was the first female head of the NIH, Bernadette Healy, set up this massive prospective human study, what was going to be the biggest one of all times, looking at the pluses and minuses of post-menopausal estrogen.
(36:51):
And tens of thousands of women, and this was great, and they had to cut the study short because what they were seeing was estrogen was not only doing the normal bad stuff that you expect in terms of some decalcification stuff, but it was increasing the risk of cardiovascular disease, and it was increasing the risk of stroke, and it was increasing the risk of dementia, and this ground to a halt, and everybody, they stopped the study in front page news, and everybody had that point, and nobody could make sense of it who had been spending the last 20 years studying the exact same thing in primates and seeing all the protective effects. And the explanation turned out to be one of those things where, like law of unexpected consequences.
(37:42):
Okay, menopause in women, at last different lengths of time, that may be a factor, let’s get a… You know what? Let’s not start giving our study subjects more estrogen until they’re totally past menopause. And when you’ve got that lag time in between, you shift all sorts of estrogen receptor patterns, and that’s where all of the bad effects come from. All of the monkey studies had involved just maintaining ovulatory levels into the post-menopausal period. And you do that, and you get great effects. Estrogen is one of the greatest predictors of protection from Alzheimer’s disease, all of that, but it needs to be physiological.
(38:26):
Just keep going, keep continuing what your body has been doing for a long time, versus let the whole thing shut down, and suddenly try to fire up the coal stoves at the bottom of the basement, kind of thing, and get that going. There, you get utterly different outcomes. And that caused a lot of human health consequences when people suddenly decided that estrogen is in fact neurologically endangering post-menopausal [women]. . .
Andrew Huberman (38:55):
Wow, that’s fascinating. And I never thought that these steroid hormone receptors could, you know, by not binding estrogen, by not binding estrogen, being devoid of estrogen binding, I should say, could then set off opposite biochemical cascades. Fascinating. I guess it raises the question about testosterone replacement too, whether or not people should talk to their doctor before too long. Men and women, talk to your physicians before too long to avoid these, whatever is happening in these periods where there isn’t sufficient testosterone and or estrogen. Sounds like it could cause longer-term problems even when therapies are introduced.
Robert Sapolsky (39:36):
Two additional miseries slash complications. So, okay, you’re trying to understand, you look at women with a history with or without post-menopausal estrogen replacement, where it’s done right, and you’re seeing 20 years later, estrogen is a predictor of a decreased risk of Alzheimer’s. Then you got to start trying to do the unpacking prospective type studies. How much estrogen?
(40:04):
At which times? Estrogen is just a catch-all term for a bunch of hormones. Estrone, estradiol, estriol. How much of each one of them? Natural or synthetic? Go try to figure all of that out. And the second complication is, it’s often hard to say anything about what estrogen does outside the context of what progesterone is doing. And often it’s not the absolute levels of either, it’s the ratio of the two. This is such a more complicated endocrine system than testosterone.
(40:39):
And because you have to generate dramatic cyclicity that like no male hypothalamus ever has to dream of. It’s a much, much more complicated system. Thus, it’s more complicated to understand, let alone like figure out what the ideal benefits are of it.

Hello i am 22M , i have never had a girlfriend or a romantic partner before , i did nothing sexual before did not even hold hands nor i have ever felt somone was romanticly interested in me . Never had real friends which i can be myself around them , friends i can trust them or friends that atleast cares about me to check on me . Its not others problem , i dont blame other people for it , i am socially awkard and introvert person . This semester i have changed countries with a student exchange program . First couple weeks was fun , meeting new people making plans etc. Then me happened . I closed my self into my room and strated getting drunk alone stopped going school , exercising , eating etc. I was in really bad place and felt even more alone than usual . Dowlanded a couple dating apps . I matched with this trans-guy , which i thought looked very cute but the most interesting part for me was they liked me first . Someone finding me romanticly interesting was my first ever " first ever " with this person . We meet up, we dont even talk the same leanguege we communicate trough google translate, i get high first time they make the first move on me .Life is suddenly good i am in love. I experience things i thought i would never experience, i felt loved . Its is like a dream for me , i cant believe this happening. A week from heaven passes by like this we meet up 3 times in total, every time he comes over to my place we spend atleast 24 hours together. He says things like " you should come to my place it is 5 minutes to beach " , checks on me , shows interest to me . I show my interest on them . Last time we meet he says he is busy at weekend and we can meet after that . That was 2 weeks ago , not only we did not meetup after that i think they lost interest on me for a reason i cannot understand , this person i thought was into me stops texting me starts to reacting to my texts a day later . I ask him " what is the problem ? " . He basicly said he is mentally ill , has attachment issues because some people in the past hurt them , he says i am not the problem etc he is working on his mental health . Couple day passes he is active on insta but does not interracts with me , i tell him he is always in my mind and if they still love me . He says stuff like you are wonderfull person i love it i like you but i am unstable i dont wanna hurt you . I say i care about him i am here for him . After that we only did some chit chat and i feel like i am putting an effort to just get a text back or an emoji from this person , i feel like they lost interest on me , they cant do a breakup so they do this . I was already in a bad place before this and i feel even lower than before, i started doing sports to cope but now i am back at my room, alone. I mostly slept last 4 days and stopped eating . I am greatfull meeting this person , they made me feel loved . But he broke my heart after , he keeps posting stuff on insta with his friends which he also introduced me to . But ignores me . It still feels like a dream , i dont know what do . I was planning a future together and stuff xD . Now i dont wanna even leave my bed

To start with i am f20 and my older sister is f24. We have younger siblings which is f16 and f13.
My sister and i have grew apart within the years. As i got more mature i realised my sister never a sister to me.
Recently we start living together in our parents house again because she quit her job and i am a fresh drop out college student. After years not living together, it feels weird.
She and i have different ideas, different lifestyle. I don't like hers and she don't like mine. We have arguments and fights for that. But i have two major fights with her that deeply hurt me.
The first one.
On that day, my family are currently having dinner. My younger sister is telling me about her day at school. She look proud telling about how her peers and teachers loved her. I keep listening quietly and didn't say anything as i wait for her to tell all the story.
My older sister on the other hand, did not do that. She keeps butting in and saying "that doesn't happen" or "that's not really cool" to her. My younger sister instantly got quiet after that and i noticed her changes in her expression.
I start thinking to myself that i would hate if that happens to me so i start defending my little sister. My older sister start to get angry and saying i am putting negative thoughts into her head and trying to make little sis hate her.
I reply by saying she should be considerate for other people. She got angrier and start yelling for me to be quiet. She said I'm not as good as i think i am.
I know. I never said i was good person. But at least i try to be better.
When she yelled at me, i got angry. I start yelling too. I said I'm defending little sis. That quickly turns into screaming match. Now i am a person that cries easily. So i started crying and telling that she never act like an older sister to me. She never treat me like a little sis. The least she could do is try to watch out for other's feelings.
She didn't listen and run back inside her room. She and i didn't speak for quite some time. And after we speak again, she just act like nothing happened while i remember every single thing.
I hate it when she would make little comments about everything i do. She would go absolutely apeshit if i gave her the same energy.
I love cooking and i would always try to learn and cook new recipes because i wanna eat them. Whenever i cook, her first reaction is insults my cooking saying it doesn't look good and horrible. Second is she would ask for my food. She would always, ALWAYS ask for my food.
Fast forward to today, during this time we had small arguments here and there but never big. Today my mother ask me to cook because she is tired. So i start preparing the ingredients and start cooking.
My older sis and younger sis comes to the kitchen that time. I start to feel a little annoyed because i know she will ask for it. It's not i don't want her to eat, i hate it when i would spend hours cooking alone and she would comes out her room, eat the food and return back to her room.
Our arguments started when my older sis and younger sis are talking about something. I didn't join the conversation until my older sis start to ask me something. So while cooking, i to them. Then, my sister brings up something that i use to do YEARS ago. Mind you that it was extremely sensitive topic for me.
So my mood start to changes. I told my mother to continue my cooking because i don't want to do it anymore. Then my older sis start to get a little mad. She said i shouldn't get offended because she was only joking and that i can't take a joke.
I reply back by saying i don't want to cook for lazy people. That's when she got angry. She said she don't even want my cooking because it's horrible. Everything i cook is horrible.
Who doesn't get angry at that? So i asked her if my cooking is that horrible, why she always ask me for my food? She answer that she just want to have taste test. She said she would never ask for me anything again.
I reply by saying i don't believe her because this isn't the first time she said that. I bring up the fact that she literally borrow my money and asked for my food two days ago.
Then she start telling me to be quiet and get mad at me. She ask why i want to start arguing. I was absolutely baffled because she's the one that starts this. So i asked her why she suddenly said that my cooking is horrible.
She keep telling me to be quiet and i keep asking her. I wanna know what gives her this audacity to be a brat. But she doesn't answer and quickly went back to her room
I started crying after she left and she said i was being dramatic. Because she don't want to listen to me, i texted her. Here's what i said:
"You should joke around stuff like that and expect people not be offended. You shouldn't joke like that because you would go wild if people jokes about your sensitive stuff. You never treated me like a little sister. I want you to know what you're not my sister anymore and hadn't been for a long time. I have friends that would act more of a sister to me than you'll ever be."
After that i blocked her contact.
So, am i the asshole for this?

I wanted to preface this by saying this occurred 7-8 years ago, when I was a sophomore in high school, and im a much different person now and not proud of who I was. Even so, the events of that semester haunt me even today, to the point that it occasionally keeps me up at night, I feel like if I get some impartial judgement on the situation I may be able to resolve some of the lingering grief. I feel like all things considered my actions were justified, but of course you will always be the protagonist fighting off the antagonists in your own story.
So it started in February 2017. I entered into an alternative high school program in my county designed to give students who couldn't otherwise function in normal schools a second chance. I had missed a few weeks due to a hospitalization earlier that year, and while my teachers had been lenient, I was having a difficult time catching back up and it was decided by my school counselors that I would be an excellent candidate for transfer.
It started off really well, I immediately was making new friends, I felt refreshed and hopeful about my new school, I really liked all my teachers, things finally felt right for the first time in awhile. Then I met a boy who i'll call "T", he was pretty cool, easy to talk to, very friendly, overall welcoming and we became friends right off the bat. I decided to get involved in extracurriculars, and T was part of the schools forensics club, which I had an interest in, so I joined up. On the trip we exchanged phone numbers, and ended up flirting over text over the next couple weeks. Eventually he asked me out and I accepted, this is where it started going downhill.
I figured dating this guy meant we would spend more time together, so we could really get to know each other, I was mistaken. I asked him to eat lunch with me, he wasn't interested, he wouldn't walk me to class or really interact with me outside of the classroom and texting. On top of this I learned some information about him over text that I will still not share because this story is still recognizable by those involved but lets just say it was a major turn off for me, I ended the relationship quickly. After that "J" and "A" his two female besties, quickly entered the scene to make my life a living hell. The initial accusation was that I led T on, and that I was trying to control him by forcing him to eat lunch with me, the truth is, I just wanted something different than what he was offering. I even told him we could still be friends. Meanwhile I was in my promiscuous phase and had many non serious flings and sugar daddy's and whatnot, this was just a run of the mill whelp that didn't work out moment for me, I was ready to move on immediately. They were not.
Rumors quickly spread about me, about me being a slut, apparently I was a prostitute and everyone seemed to know except me, and honestly I was unbothered by this. The prostitute thing was untrue, though I absolutely accepted gifts from people I talked to online, and I kinda was a slut, to be fair, so, not exactly the reputation I wanted but things could be much worse. I still had my friends, and I poured myself into my studies and ignited a love for STEM that I still have today.
Then one by one my friends disappeared. I would see them talking with A or J or one of their misc. associates. I was confused, because I hadn't done anything to them. I tried to talk to them, but I was blocked or laughed at, the more I was mocked and ridiculed the less confident about that whole thing I became. It wasn't just my current friends though, A kept tabs on who I was trying to befriend and snatched them up before I could clear the air. This happened with a couple people, but one in particular really hurt, i'll come back to him in a bit. I still had my best friend "M" who I had known years prior to coming to the school, she stuck around the longest, but eventually she started dating a guy from that clique, I was completely alone.
Meanwhile I was getting sneered at and laughed at, and whispered about, I would see girls I didn't know except through association with A and J who would point at me when they thought I couldn't see, and they'd lean into their friends to quitely gossip behind their hands. I tried not to see it, I found myself staring at the floor a lot.
I ended up talking to A and J and asking them to stop, I told them they were being immature (which in hindsight fanned the flames) there was no ceasefire. I ended up going to the school counselor who basically told us to be nice and did nothing to help. I talked to her 1 to 1 and explained the situation and she shrugged it off. I was growing increasingly desperate for support I wasn't receiving. I started to notice an impact to my grades, I was depressed, I couldn't focus, I was randomly tearful. I started eating lunch in a random corridor away from my peers. I wish I could have disappeared completely.
Then one day a boy transferred in from another school, a teacher asked for a volunteer to give him a tour of the building, I was chosen. His name was S. Talking to him was like a breath of fresh air, we hit it off quickly, I was so relieved to finally made a friend. We connected over history, he was a nerd like me and funny too. I went home that day and cried joyful tears, I was so excited to see him again the next day in first period, and when I walked into the room and saw A, J and him sitting together, my stomach hit the floor, we made eye contact and he just frowned and shook his head. I went to my desk and just put my head down and cried. At this point I didn't care if I was seen or not. This is the one that really got me.
A few weeks passed by, I was quietly working in biology class and I heard a dude call my name across the room, he said "OP, "D" thinks your cute!" and the group of guys laughed, I motioned the guy over, and gave him my number, I didn't have any interest in dating the guy but I really really wanted someone to talk to me. It wasn't even two hours before he was hitting it off with A.
At lunch time I went to a different counselor, one who showed more empathy to my situation. She told me I could stay in her office the rest of the day. 4th period came around and I was reeling in my head, I felt like I was a cornered animal, I was desperate for something to change. When she stepped out for a meeting I marched myself up to Spanish class, Which I shared with A, J, T, and S. I cracked the door and asked if I could speak with A in the hallway. I had the perfect speech planned, I had rehearsed a million times, that teacher said no. I told her it was incredibly important, she told me no and to get out. I looked at her, I looked at A, I stepped toward her and before I knew it she had a fist full of my hair, she was hitting me in the head while J grabbed my arms, I broke free and shoved J hard, and started punching A back but couldn't gather the momentum to do any damage as she still had my hair. The teacher who was 6 months pregnant tried to step in, I shoved her away with my elbow. A male teacher came in and pulled us apart. I looked around at several cameras, faces of disgust. Sam looked at me and said "what the fuck is wrong with you?" I took my bags, and ran out into the hallway, down the stairs and was almost out of the building when the principal stopped me. I was suspended for a week.
My mom picked me up and I told her everything. We decided I would be withdrawn and I would be homeschooled the rest of high school. I eventually got my GED. I mellowed out, met my husband, and now we have a sweet baby boy. For some reason though, my heart can't handle what happened, even still it plays on a loop in my head. Everything I never got to say is still in my throat and has been since that day. Im hoping sharing this will finally put all that to rest. I want to move on, truly.
AITA?

here is the true example that probably happens in a conversation (based on a debating exprience):
"The (underage) partner consented to it "
"doesn't matter, its still rape because the minor can't legally consent to Sex Due to a law"
like No dumbass its considered pedophilia
If you can't "legally" consent to sex
That because of the LAW that says you can't
not the Actual rape details that wouldn't state a consent like that
Which is fucking disgusting for a facist law maker
to admit from creating this shitty sub law to
Drive these people to say "doesn't matter" while
there isnt actual rape being done to a minor
but a ILLEGALLY described consenting to sex
to the law maker of "satutory rape":
Pedophilia and rape is already a FUCKING FELONY CHARGE
You don't need to make the "satutory rape" law
You fucking dumbass
Who tf dropped your head onto the ground to think when you should not see the signs and falsly assume its a rape case
rape is considered non consenual act
why do you mistaken it as a crime that gets legally gotten away with stupid legal loopholes, huh?
like are you a rapist because most rapists will admit to everything like that when they are found guilty?
I just don't understand What kind of federal law maker thinks that rape has never been done to most people under the age of 18 Because of how most of those majority of people "consented it" With a person older than them.
like wtf So it means consent means rape Because the minor never stated it was rape?
thats considered a legalizing false accusation in a loophole, Not prosecuting rapists
If you know there is rape going around Because the victim are screaming for help THATS WHATS CALLED A ACTUAL RAPE CASE
AND THAT IS NOT A EASY CRIMINAL THING FOR A NONLAW ABIDING CITZEN TO GET AWAY WITH

1. i am absolutely dumbfounded at the sam altman hate. before nov. 2022, most of y'all didn't even know the guy. now he is public enemy number one in the ai/tech world?
   
2. ilya sutskever is a p****. how are you that damn smart & that damn dumb at the same time? you are on the road to creating a god, you have to play the capitalistic game. how many of you are making ai startups, products or just everyday solutions using ai? is this free? NO.
   
3. acceleration is good. as an american, i genuinely fear dictators or terrorist organizations with god level ai. i also fear working my ass off for the next 40-50+ years of my life and when i am retirement i don't want ai to fully automate most/all jobs. i want that as soon as possible because wtf did i just work for? for fun? to not be bored?
   
4. to come into immense power, you have to control it, maintain it, & keep that power sustainable. yes, it is very clear sam altman understands power structures and is machievellian. same with politicians, other founders & ceos, kings, priests, and even higher ups at your local job. there is no way you are malding because mr. altman reads history and understands power. warren buffett is mega rich because he played the long term game, made the long term investments, compounded his stocks, and got his money right. sam altman and the openai team are doing the same thing. they have pioneered a pipe dream to full ledge reality.
   
5. i absolutely hate to get political but the liberal agenda is an echo chamber. ai is new, hype and scary. if i am a media person, i want sam's head so my media company controls the narrative around ai, not the leading ai companies, certainly not sam altman.
   
6. sam altman is gay. hello? not even into this pride s*** but that's a legendary figure for that subset of people in a position of high power. absolutely nothing wrong with that just odd how the same media that promotes this agenda to children (and y'all are somehow okay with that) will s*** on his face. that is the most demonic two faced thing i have ever seen.
   
7. agi as biological warfare.
   

google deepmind is heavily focused on science based ai. i can imagine all the amazing discoveries and potential catastrophes that could occur. i don't trust demis hassabis, i don't trust sundar pichai, i don't trust sam bankman fried's backed anthropic, i don't trust google. yet this is the real threat here! covid-19 is not a natural evolutionary strand of virus. now multiple that by instant death by synthetic pathogens. how many viruses do you think could kill you instantly? probably an uncountable number.

1. AGI is a capitalistic based race. i don't need a white, asian, latino, black AI. i need facts, objective and grounded reality. google has an obvious liberal agenda, and it has seeped into their ai products. wtf?!?! get that s*** out of here please. i don't want to talk to white martin luther king jr. sundar.
   
2. "According to Tocqueville, equal social conditions serve to foster and shape the human passions in ways that may not be compatible with freedom."
   

“A society that puts equality before freedom will get neither. A society that puts freedom before equality will get a high degree of both.” “One of the great mistakes is to judge policies and programs by their intentions rather than their results" - milton friedman

1. religious cult activities

when people like the deceased leader of hamas says, "we want to kill all americans and all non believers" it is hilarious. when god level ai is true, this could be an ai action by "divine will/justice" making it more of a reality. same could be said for all religions and spiritual beliefs. there is a common pattern and it's leaving a religion is exile and possibly punishable by death. so when allah ai is real, it might literally kill you if you don't believe. anthropic's "constitutional" ai structure allows for this to happen. anthropic gives the quran as the constitution and now we are all f***ed.

1. if you hate sam altman and use openai products, STFU! if you hate sam altman and use other ai products, why are you using less advanced AI? you are only hurting yourself. game is game and openai won. period. but all of you are killing progress by finding every tiny error and going crazy over it.
   
2. sam altman being fired
   

possibly will go down as one of the top tier brain dead moments of all time, it shows the capitalistic value of ai makes people work and perform exceedingly well. if your company was worth $100,000,000 per person, out of 800+ people, how would you react? mope on twitter that your alignment team got disbanded? boo hoo, you were in the damn way. this s*** is not a game, and if you lack, you lose. literally proven by the idiocracy from both google and elon musk quoting, "ai is moving too slowly". no, your foresight is just dogs***. also ray kurzweil is works at google so how are you going to deny agi before gpt2 even came out when the goat of foresight is on your team? and than you liberalize your ai systems when the reality is closer than ever? it's truly beyond me.

1. if you are team human, support openai & sam altman. if you are pro liberal ai god, use your '1984' google machine. because that is the reality you are going to get. so f*** you for f***ing us all. you thought sam altman was manipulative when all of media is team google, their actual ai systems came with a political agenda (which is extremely dangerous no matter what party or government affiliation you have).
   
2. rene girard's mimetic theory is correct. sam altman and openai were the mimetic catalyst, everyone else is mimetically following their own desire literally imitating openai bar for bar. now we are on the scapegoating phase. "sam altman is manipulative, sam altman is in it for the profit, sam altman lied about his monetary affiliation with openai". ok? and nancy pelosi isn't manipulative, or uses the media to create her image the way she wants? this is textbook scapegoating.
   

the last phase: violence
everyone wants to build agi now and they want their agi to be the one to rule them all. i don't see silicon valley losers starting a literal war but i see countries fighting for power everyday. i can't even imagine post-agi future but i 100% want openai to be the first and they will.

1. f*** yann lecunn. it's cool you open source your models but teams of 5 people are beating your trillion dollar company. you pioneered selling your soul in the ai space congrats 👏

I live in Canterbury and had to go to after-hours the other night, it was close to 11, we had some worrying symptoms and there weren't that many people there, but we were still there for 4 hours. Ours wasn't even a long wait, the nurse was saying that some of the others had been stuck there for 8 hours. I've even seen someone walk out with a bandaged head wound because the wait was apparently worse than a possible concussion. It's not an exaggeration to tell people to bring an overnight bag if they need to head there.
The GP isn't much better, we have a 2-3 week wait on appointments (we have a lot of older people in our community) and while there are triage spots available, it can be very difficult to get less-immediate-but-important things attended to like your mental health.
I've been to the ED a couple of times too, similar story to after-hours and it seems like where all the problems are cropping up downstream because there aren't enough spots available at those other places.
As an aside, none of this is the fault of the staff. I've never seen a more professional group deal with so much pressure and project an aura of confidence and assurance. They're heroes and deserve medals for all the shit they have to deal with.
The mess also doesn't seem to be attributable to a single political party. Sure, we can point to the policies of one side and say they're not helping, but both sides are locked in a Mexican Standoff where they know one of them will have to do something unpopular to fix the situation and neither one will do it because the results won't be seen until well after their government is out of power. They're plenty happy to whinge about the situation but they seem pretty fucking reluctant to improve the conditions for our overworked medical staff.
All this to say it wasn't that long ago when you could get a GP's appointment the same day as an illness. Sure, a 2 day wait wasn't unheard of and a 3 day wait meant they were really busy, but you could usually get a diagnosis while you were still sick.
A lot of this is just me airing my frustration, and maybe this is a localized result? We only have one after-hours clinic servicing an ungodly amount of Christchurch and Northern Canterbury. I'd like to hear what healthcare is like elsewhere. Any better than my neck of the woods?

The idea that humans in large numbers lack competency, and so therefore a conspiracy would be practically impossible completely misses the point. Actually, the fact that humans are insanely incompetent and low-information is why conspiracies are everywhere and almost never go noticed. In fact, people DO speak up often and whistleblow and NO ONE LISTENS.
Part of the issue here is epistemological. We think we know about the world. Why do we think that? First of all, human brains are built to conceive of about 150 people around them. Urbanization breaks our brains, and because we're not built for it, we consistently process our impression of society wrong.
School and media are huge and very simply blunt instruments to provide us with a better impression of the massive urban society around us. Most of what we think we know comes from here. Yes, it's true that false information can be contradicted and humans actually can be quite logical with plain, clear facts. However, we have other social instincts which prevent this from happening.
We humans mostly tend to intuitively perceive what kinds of beliefs others have and give massive weight to that while filtering possibly complex or confusing facts in our heads. While some of us and some cultures are much more sophisticated and cynical about media, there are TONS of demographics (i.e.: young women) who psychologically interpret literally anything the media presents as representative of the actual tastes and preferences of that abstract 150 people the brain is built to perceive. Simply because the media exists and promotes one point of view, it means that this must be the position of those in the tribe with power.
Experienced, educated professionals will constantly filter inconvenient information in favor of adjusting to what the group believes. Smarter, 110-130 IQ "midwits" will actually recognize something is wrong, but will rationalize the emotional inconvenience and build explanations or narratives so they can cope. <110IQ people can't construct these rationalizations, and if they're low-IQ enough they can't even understand them, so this is why dumb people often perceive conspiracies that highly intelligent people observe, because the layer of rationalization doesn't appear to them. >140 IQ literally cannot use these rationalizations because their brains see right through them and you have to be a psychopath to ignore what you see. 110-130 IQ people ACTUALLY BELIEVE these rationalizations, that's the point. They ego invest in them and will fight their own kin to squash anyone noticing malicious behavior systemic to institutions. This is partly because, these midwits as the supreme managerial class, so effectively rationalize, they can operate in corrupt environments without being aware of the corruption. Thus they are rewarded immensely, given titles or big salaries, and become personally invested in the fraud while also consciously believing there's no fraud.
As an adult who has noticed all this from experience in the military, ecclesiastical, academic, corporate (never medical sadly) sectors, these patterns seem universal. You know the store manager who has the keys to lock up? Well, when they open up to their buddies and drink a little of the merchandise and throw a little party or whatever, if corporate can't tell, then why wouldn't they? Not everyone who has power will abuse it, but anywhere power is held, someone will abuse it. Abuse of power is a very casual thing, and at a minimum, some percentage of human personality types will always do it. The go-getters and doers especially trend toward a willingness to abuse power, and that's part of the problem. Other humans have specific instincts to submit to the powerful and almost take pleasure when they are on the good side of a psychopath who is abusing a third party.
Here you might say, "Gee, you have a cynical view of humanity." Sorry, the day a college kid can stand up and assert a point of view that's not social consensus, and have even 10% of the class change their minds and support him merely from considering the argument, then maybe I'll be more optimistic. No, people are cowards who are constantly trying to fit in, mostly most people are pretty dumb, and actually most people disdain those who refuse to fit in and don't care at all about the group's corruption. See, kids who are instinctively socially breaking from their parents will oppose the society of their parents. But kids will never oppose, not ever, not at scale, the social momentum of other kids unless there are other kids of clear divisions like racial or religious.
Therefore, I would propose that not only is society full of conspiracies at every level, but actually society functions on the basis of conspiracy. Small group loyalties and hierarchies form nodes around which institutional structure can build larger organizations. I was in the military which is full of formal authority, laws and rules. The reality of it is all that was a distraction to make people put up with a system that is more about little cliques among officers and so forth that sort everything out behind closed doors. Sure, norms, laws, rules, training smooth things out, allow interchangeability, but real decisions are made selfishly by some leader and they have quidproquo with colleagues and that bubbles up to the top. So whatever stupid beliefs they have about their organization or its values, they take with them to the top where someone like a general wields real power. Yet, such a person is sort of "endowed" with that position by his clique-community, and so they must fight for that community's values in the confines of that community's worldview, which might be totally inaccurate.
With this in mind, here is your final graduation thought experiment.
I've tried to understand the Ukraine war.
Right now Russia is playing on its former Soviet era diplomatic network so it's leaning into "white neocolonialists who think they have superior values exploit brown people because of theft and racism." But they're also simultaneously playing the newer, libertarian narrative of a progressive managerial elite which has hijacked the Western bureaucracy. It's sort of insane how they do this. Like how they exalt Orthodox religion but also insist Stalin did nothing wrong, which not even the post-Stalin USSR believed.
The anti-neocolonialist narrative says that rich whites want to steal resources from poor browns. This is factually what's happening, but the tragic irony is that many third world countries probably couldn't develop or benefit from these resources without first world help. So, there's both an argument against neo-colonialism, but also an argument that it's not like this big scam so much as a natural consequence. What it boils down to for me is where war, jackal economics or espionage is used. That's clearly wrong, and I think a lot of poor countries would be doing a lot better without these interventions, although I don't think they'd be rich and developed.
Well, the West actually is anti-neocolonialist too. Globalists want smart cities, AI economy, UBI, CBDC. They want rural white Americans to be the same level of poor as rural Africans, and for the gains of exploiting natural resources to be concentrated among a global elite, which although unfair, is not exclusive to borders. The geopolitical unfairness of neocolonialism will be addressed by Globalism. And its elite will be very small compared to the global proletariat they intend to have.
This is all very ironic since the globalist machine is playing the Euro-chauvinism card to appeal to Euro elites, and also the American exceptionalism card to appeal to American nationalists. They're playing whatever cards they have, like Russia.
So this is all I know: the West is lying to some of its lesser elites by paying lip service to their values. Russia is playing its old USSR geopolitics card while also playing a trad Orthodox card, while also playing an anti-globalist card.
I KNOW that the West is globalist, the leadership that is. So NATO must lose, because the globalists will certainly win if NATO wins. However, I fear the other side might also be globalists and the whole conflict is an anti-white, anti-Western charade meant to displace the old Euro elites and American nationalists.
That's the irony. Globalists control the West, but have to constantly deal with these older elite factions, so they could be using the war as a purge in a way.
It's hard to explain why the globalist-American leadership needed this conflict so bad. Probably it's all a shitshow gone wrong. This is where my explanation of how conspiracies function comes into play.
Neocons thought the would reinvigorate interest in the military but it hasn't. Like a new patriotism and interest in military power and funding.
Ukrainian Jews might have thought they could purge the Slavs and make a second Jewish homeland but that's probably off the table due to the failed counter offensive.
Russia's hopes of exercising their historical and cultural hegemony to settle the conflict have failed, when Ukrainian deep state operatives assured them they were still on the same old team.
Stupid nationalists who are somehow blind to the globalists and think the American economy is "doing great" probably thought this could be a knockout blow to Russia's meddling in certain geostrategic resource deals that affected American hegemony over Europe. This is a legacy of the British "can't let Europe become a world power" prerogative. The kind of dumb monkey legacy deep state geopolitical prerogatives that these idiots cling to while ignoring the other players around them.
So there are members of the British and American diplomatic-military-intelligence communities who are seemingly oblivious to what globalism is, or the imminent collapse of the Anglo-American financial hegemony. They actually believe the financial journalism. They are playing out a specific strategy from their class or clique or culture's history which is about keeping Europe down. So they are acting from that vantage and are acting as a conspiracy.
There are Euro elites acting from the vantage of actual vestigial colonialist attitudes where they actually think that Europe of all places is a bastion of Western values. While this class is completely morally degenerate, what they really mean is there is a class of elites in Europe that actually thinks the whole world outside of white Europe are actually just dumb monkeys. Not metaphorical. They are committed to all this, as a conspiracy that exercises influence as a conspiracy, because of this idiotic, low-information attitude.
Then there's the globalists who have all kinds of plans, and have even got Russia and China and India to adopt some of their financial technologies in preparation for their Great Reset. And this is done because of their massive influence over global business. As a conspiracy. And yet, while massively influential, they don't outright control Russia or China and their plants are constantly falling short. I'd say the globalists are trying to act as a conventional "illuminati" style conspiracy.
But the point is what I said in the beginning. Even these powerful, highly competent cliques have huge blind spots and huge power gaps because humans are in fact highly incompetent in large numbers.
I get a clique trying very hard to influence things and just falling short of being able to do it, but what boggles my mind is that a lot of these conspiracies who KNOW they are conspiracies who KNOW the world is a stage for the common sheep and KNOW the basic nature of deep state and intelligence games that are played. Even these people will not see past their own biases or egos, and fail to see lies in front of their own faces.
Because conspiracy is natural to humans. We do it naturally, so we engage in illicit collusion and cliquishness, but we don't necessarily see or realize where it's happening outside of our brain's 150 person social perception. Which to me is the oddest thing.

Links to to publisher page:
Still Sick
Citrus
Citrus+
Pulse
Bloom Into You
The Moon on a Rainy Night
The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady
The Guy She Was Interested In Wasn't a Guy at All
Girl Friends
Hana & Hina After School
Our Teachers are Dating!
Does It Count if Your First Time Is With an Android?
Whispering You a Love Song
My Cute Little Kitten
Vampeerz
I Can't Say No to the Lonely Girl
Adachi to Shimamura
The Witch's Marriage
A Witch’s Love at the End of the World
Monologue Woven For You
Asumi-chan Is Interested In Lesbian Brothels!
I Love You so Much, I Hate You
I Married My Female Friend
Kiss and White Lily for My Dearest Girl
Even If It Was Just Once, I Regret It
Murcielago
She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat
Useless Princesses
The Summer You Were There
If I Could Reach You
Cheerful Amnesia
[Happy Sugar Life}(https://yenpress.com/series/happy-sugar-life)
The Two Of Them Are Pretty Much Like This
Monthly in the Garden with My Landlord
All of Humanity Is Yuri Except for Me
There's No Way I Can Have a Lover! *Or Maybe There Is!?
The Sheep Princess in Wolf's Clothing
I Married My Best Friend to Shut My Parents Up
Breasts Are My Favorite Things in the World
My Girlfriend's Not Here Today
Catch These Hands
Handsome Girl and Sheltered Girl
I'm in Love with the Villainess.
How Do I Turn My Best Friend Into My Girlfriend?
Assorted Entanglements
I Don't Know Which One is Love
Kiss the Scars of the Girls
Scarlet
Chasing Spica
Beauty And The Beast Girl
Yuri Is My Job!
Yuri Espoir
5 Seconds Before a Witch Falls in Love
ROLL OVER AND DIE: I Will Fight for an Ordinary Life with My Love and Cursed Sword!
Superwomen in Love! Honey Trap and Rapid Rabbit
Throw Away the Suit Together
GUNBURED x SISTERS
Yuri Life
Donuts Under A Crescent Moon
After Hours
Run Away With Me, Girl
Goodbye, My Rose Garden
Hello, Melancholic!
School Zone Girls
The Girl I Want is So Handsome
Namekawa-san Won't Be Bullied
Futari Escape
Qualia the Purple
Even Though We're Adults
Otherside Picnic
Futaribeya
Yuri Bear Storm
Strawberry Fields Once Again
Sirius - Twin Star
A White Rose in Bloom
Akuma No Riddle
Black and White: Tough Love at the Office
Days of Love at Seagull Villa
NTR: Netsuzou Trap
Kase-san and Morning Glories

As title says. I'm a student in my undergrad currently, and after I get my MSF I'm planning to go into banking, but I'm really interested in committing myself to Texas. The thing is, I'm having a really hard time finding connections or information online that gives me a good outlook on what to expect down there, and I'm throwing one out into the sea here hoping to catch someone who would be willing to answer a few of my questions and give me their opinions/perspectives. If that's you and if you're willing, I'd really appreciate it.

Weird one today, seemed worthy of posting. Backstory - In 2017 we hired a boomer builder to design an addition to our house. The results were not quite as promised, I was expecting something we could hand off to a GC to start the build, ultimately they were more conceptual drawings, not really engineered drawings that could be used. I posted a meh google review (2 stars FWIW), he responded, I forgot about it and moved on with life.
This January I get a message from my dad, who is in a Rotary club with said boomer builder, asking why I posted another review so long after the fact. I looked into it a bit, someone had copy pasta'd my google review into Yelp pretending to be me. The builder had responded with a whole manifesto on how wrong I was. I emailed him letting him know that it was not me, I've moved on, but that I'd help get the review removed. I reported it and after a bit of back and forth they pulled it. Though it would be odd to angrily repost a review 7 years on I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and I thought that was the end of it.
Today I get another message from my dad, similar question, this time on Angi. I find the review and report it and send a brief email to the builder saying it's still not me but I'd still help remove it. I also deleted my google review because I just don't care anymore.
Then I get a forwarded email from my dad. The builder had written an unhinged angry rant but misspelled my email so I hadn't received it. Mother fucker, you think 4 months after someone (presumably an enemy of yours) found a fairly good way to give you negative press that I HELPED REMOVE, I would randomly decide to just go ahead and copy paste the same review elsewhere? No you dumb twat, it's the same shit as last time. You could have taken five seconds to dig around that entitlement riddled memory of yours to put two and two together, but instead you decided to be a knob.
He did manage to get my wife's email right, and she is not someone who takes any shit. She has since made sure he knows what we think of him now. I'm half tempted to go ahead and actually repost that review everywhere, but honestly I'm finding it kind of funny at this point and I'll probably just let things lie.

We have a new hire (about two months now) in our department D28 that I do not vibe with. This is also a rant-ish post so I don't give much sht for the grammar use. I apologize.
To start, I have a pretty nice relationship with most of our department even though I am a new hire myself. But two months ago, we got a new hire with a bossy attitude for someone so young. I don't mind bossy people, sometimes I am one myself if I am stressed, but I apologize when I know I sound like one since I am not a boss... but this one has a vibe that is not vibin'.
They mostly work as associate and recovery (for the last hour of the store) but their recovery is not recovering unless our DH is working closing.
Memorial Day had been a triggering day in this cold war. I was at the mulch pit area helping a customer load mulch and soil up, and I have a clear view of the garden center gate where they stand. I cannot get an extension, but I guess they got a call/intercom for wheat straw. Again, I can see where they are STANDING, and has been for the past 5-ish minutes while I'm loading up the customer. A few seconds pass, and I got a walkie call asking me if I can get a wheat straw for a customer because "We are helping a customer load something up." By "we," I believe they mean another associate who went to the pit to get some soil for a customer, the associate I am now helping since I just finished loading the last car, who heard the walkie and said, "I'll get the straw, can you load this for her (the customer in the car now behind me — and no, the associate I have beef with is nowhere to be seen)?" to which I gladly said, "yes" and ignored the walkie call. I said I believe since there was no other car (except in lumber area) that ever pulled up apart from the one who needed soil.
Do they assume I don't work unless I can get a call from SD or Cashiers or managers? (Read: Do they assume I am like them?)
Not the first time this happened. A month ago, I was helping a customer with another D28 associate, and I needed to spot them. Obviously, a work that needs two people. Like this time, they walkied me to ask if I can help a customer with a locked item because they were busy (I later learned from SD that there were three of them waiting for a customer to pull up and just chatting around when the call came, and SD cashier just happened to walk past them on the way to curbside). Anywoooo, since this time they were one month new, I was about to say "yes but give us 5 minutes" when my reach driver said "give me the phone" and answered the walkie with "we're currently busy helping customers in this area now, we cannot go there" and press leave call.
Not also the second time. About a week ago, they walkied me to tell me that a customer needs help. I know they are not walkie-ing the whole department since they call me by name. Another D28 associate (different from the past two cases) and a key-holder (who we called to open a gate) were with me and heard the call, and they both looked like "was that seriously a call?" with the associate going "DID [THEY] JUST TELL YOU TO FUCKING GO BACK INSIDE WHEN YOU'RE HELPING A CUSTOMER OUT HERE?" Anyway, I ignored that walkie, too. They can complain to someone I am ignoring their calls, but I don't care. I am doing my job and working and everyone (including them) knows it.
SD and other associates are not the only ones saying this to me, too. Garden cashiers would complain about how some people (they're also not naming names but the clues about their attire for that day was a given) would just walk around in their personal phone and they could see them and hear their phone ringing, and they just keep walking and ignoring the call. Told me they shouldn't get an extension if they won't bother using it.
The way they would say it, too, is as I've said at the beginning... very bossy.
I'm very petty, so when others in my department or the whole store would walkie me or call me to ask if I can help, I would happily answer with yes and to give me some minutes as I am with a customer, etc, etc. But when it's them... I straight up ignore it. I love garden department, and our managers and DHs are chill, and I don't mind if they ask me to do things for the day. It's chaotic, it's so large, but that means no boring day.
Oh, and I haven't expounded on their work like going to 15-minute break three to four times a day excluding their lunch. Hiding in the aisle when the store is busy. Not packing down. Walking down aisles that definitely needs front-facing and just looking around.
And this pisses me off: getting at least 32 hours per week being like this. IN SPRING. IN D28. I don't know, but I do hope they are temporary.
To end this: any tips to become more petty?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. He had told me from the beginning that he waits to have sex. Not til marriage as he has had sex with other women (all btw within 6 months). Which I didn’t mind waiting. We still haven’t had sex but done everything else under the sun. I’m beyond frustrated now as we’ve been together for a year. At the beginning, it was fun. We had never waited so long to sleep with my partner and it was awesome building a relationship with someone without sex being the main way to make a connection. We did other things and they were awesome, no issues there. We were intimate 5/6 times a week and it was no problem.
However, 6 months into us dating he had said he was ready to have sex and I was so excited until it didn’t happen. Ever. We’d have plenty of opportunities and it still never happened. I have grown to resent that part of our relationship. I now feel like I’m not good enough, questioning if maybe he’s not attracted to me. He has grown frustrated because we no longer really do anything sexual anymore. Not because I’m being spiteful but I’m just not into it anymore. I leave all our interactions unfulfilled even if I finish from other things with him. I communicated to him why I feel I haven’t been initiating like I did before and he says he needs us to get back to the point where we were before with regularly “messing around”. But I need the connection that sex things and I’m growing tired of just doing the things that lead up to it.
But this was 3 months ago and I hardly ever say no to him. I’d rather just go to bed than keep doing what we’re doing. I’m getting nothing out of it and feel like I’m just being used for him to get head. It’s way too early for us to be having these kinds of problems but every other aspect of our relationship is amazing. Literally everything. I’ve never had an issue with sex in other relationships. I don’t know how to talk to him about it and borderline want to give him a ultimatum that if we don’t have sex then I don’t want to do anything at all sexually until he’s ready to do it all. Best advice on how to navigate this before it grows into further resentment
TL;DR my boyfriend and I have been together for a year. We still haven’t had sex but have done everything else. I have lost interest in our sex life and he’s frustrated by the new lack of it. Would I be wrong to say we can’t have any intimacy until he’s ready to do it all?

I want to start by making my stance as clear as possible. If you disagree, that is okay, I only ask that you either read what I have to say and engage in discussion, or click away, it’s entirely your choice.
Firstly, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict has a long history that must be looked at in its entirety. Focusing on the Oct. 7 attack by Hamas as a starting point is ignorant of this fact.
I believe: - The ongoing actions by the Israeli government to invade Palestine is wrong. - The Oct. 7 attack by Hamas was wrong. - The death of civilians is wrong. - The targeted bombings of schools and hospitals is wrong. - Anti-Semitism, showing hostility or prejudice against Jewish people, is wrong. - Criticizing Zionism/the State of Israel is not Anti-Semitic. - Calling for a ceasefire is not anti-Semitic. - Being in solidarity with the Palestinian people is neither anti-Semitic nor pro-Hamas. - There should be an immediate ceasefire.
With that out of the way, I want to address those currently protesting and those who may want to. Protesting, especially in groups, can be a powerful way to deliver a message. Having partaken in some myself, I applaud those who have been vocal. However, effective protests must keep certain things in mind. Some of the posts I’ve seen on here have encouraged me to make this post so that those who want change enacted have a clear idea of how to go about it.
Protests do two things: raise awareness and point the lens at those in power. They should encourage your peers to stand up and march with you. Belittling others and disrupting midterms/studying only jades people to your cause. Rather, educate your peers, extend a hand, march together as equals toward a common goal. Attention should be focused on faculty and especially administrators who have a platform.
A protest I like to hold up as an example is the march on Washington. By marching peacefully, and as one, they gained the attention of everyone who may have been less aware or on the fence about civil rights issues. By marching to the capitol, they brought the scope of the issue directly onto those that had the real power to make the change they wanted. While protests are disruptive and are meant to be, they should inconvenience your target audience the most.
I believe many of us at Davis agree on things happening right now. We should uplift our fellow students and focus our voices on the administration, the ones in power. If you notice someone acting out of line, remind them of what it is they’re trying to accomplish. I truly believe in the ability of Davis students to make a change.
tl;dr: we need to uplift fellow students and aim our voices of protest loudest at those in charge.

Excuse if this is a little messy. I hardly use reddit, and this entire situation is stressing me out to the point of shakiness and illness. On that not, onto the story.
So, for a bit of context, I am a very, very new adult. I just graduated high school, and I've never had the best relationship with my family besides my mom and brother. I was still very distant from my mom because of some slight neglect in the past. I don't blame her for it because she's a single mom and was working a very hard job.
Extra context, my mom had also been planning a California trip. She had changed the plans every other day. Me and my fiance couldn't keep up with it, especially because he had a work venture there.
The past few months, I had been going out with my boyfriend, now fiance ( we'll call Ax ). My mom had been pretty hard on me because of this. Saying how, "I'm not home enough," and, "I need to help with (this this and this)." So, I was already getting a little fed up. I just wanted an escape from the house which is honestly not a very healthy living space due to my fairly slobbish family. Everytime I would go home she would bombard me with stuff, which I never had to do before, so it made me want out more.
I'm just going to summarize the build up by saying, there were quite a few arguments and she never seemed to listen to me. I also have a super hard time communicating my feelings and confrontation so participating in an argument is a big deal.
Now we get to the big night. The last thing we "talked" about was the California trip and how Ax's parents won't let him go if we stay at her friend's house. She got upset and stormed off. Me and Ax were upset so we went to his birth mom's ( we'll call her Cat ) house to take a break. It didn't really help. I had gotten fed up with all of the arguing and bitterness from my mom. All of the snide comments to Ax. I texted her that I was moving out and wasn't going on the California trip. ( I was moving into Cat's house. )
Now should I have texted her? Probably not, but texting helps me form my thoughts into words. I express more clearly through text, and shut down on the phone and especially in person.
She calls and I freak out and hand the phone to Ax. Mistake number 2. A bit about Ax, he is very very protective of me, especially with some of the stuff I've told him about my family and my dad. He doesn't want me to go through the same thing again. He's also a big jokester but is autistic so he doesn't really get when not to do some of his joking tones and words. They also come off as very disrespectful sometimes and he was kind of tired of her. So my mom is angry.
She tells me to come home within 5 minutes. I very shaky get in the car and we head there. We get there and she takes the keys to the car and my phone. Tells me to come inside and talk alone. Now, I get where she's coming from, but I HATE feeling cornered. I need someone else there by my side or I just shut down. It socks and makes things a lot harder with this kind of stuff. Now the rest is a but of a blur but she gets aggressive. No physical violence, but she does get in my face. I back up and she starts acussing me of telling people I'm violent though I haven't. It blurs again and suddenly I'm packing my things and leaving. My brother (15) by my side sad to see me leave this way.
The night goes by and I hear nothing from her. The next day she texts. I don't remember many of the texts, but I do remember being stressed out and not replying to things often. I tell her I need some time.
Few days go by with few texts I answer and a couple calls I don't. Then we get to church just a few days after the big night and an argument over text starts. She acusses Ax of lying, stealing, and vandalizing her car. The "lying" was a joke he made about his origins that I took seriously at first, I am a very slow person, that he had not realized I took seriously until very very later on. On the stealing, he had not stolen from some of the places acussed, but we did have a separate incident that was true. However, he's done his best to make it up and has not done anything like it since. He got punished by me and his parents. She still thinks he should've gotten worse. He's especially tried to make it up to my mom because he had lost her full trust and she was very obvious about it and still hasn't forgiven him to this day. The vandalizing was him working on the car, but not fixing it fully, because, we'll, she took the car before he could.
I talked about getting my legal documents, the entire point I was texting her in the first place, she brought up Ax herself. I misunderstood her and thought she was wanting to keep them from me so threatened legal action. I won't go deep into this because I'm not a lawyer, but ultimately it was more a threat to get my stuff. She said that I could get my stuff from the garage. Remember when I told you that my family was slobish? Yeah, I have no clue where these documents are and the garage is stacked to the sealing so it's going to take me a bit. I don't want to, but it's the only way to get my documents.
I completely give up at this point. I already said I needed a bit of time, but she continued to text. When I didn't answer email me a mental health line. The only times I would talk to her was to get my stuff. She started making facebook posts warning about toxic relationships, and how losing loved ones without making peace is terrible. This continues for a bit then stopped a couple days ago. The last thing I got, just a few hours ago, was an email. I will be quoting it word for word but changing names blah blah, you know how privacy works.
"Hi, [deadname]! I hope everything is going well for you.
I just wanted to take some time to explain some things. I wanted to tell you these things in person because it really does matter. Reading something is far different from hearing how someone says it. Arguments and misunderstandings should always be fixed in person.
First and foremost, I love you. I would do anything within my power for you. I have always been there for you and I want to continue being there. It breaks my heart that you don't want anything to do with me. I've tried to make you feel loved and supported. I've been active in your interests and activities. I even played Minecraft for you... (Haha)
I wanted to talk to you privately because we will never be able to fix things between us if someone else is involved. And honestly, it's no one else's business. I've never physically or intentionally hurt you so there is no reason to be scared to spend time with me.
What I have tried to tell you through text, is that I did not blow up because you wanted to move out. My response was that we would talk when you got home. That was not blowing up and this is why it is important to communicate in person rather than via text. I wanted to know your plans and see if I could help or add some suggestions that might help. I blew up because of the disrespect. I was being treated like I was nothing and like I've done nothing for you. I tried to explain that I wasn't mad about you wanting to move out. I'm not sure why you thought I would be since we've been talking about it for 6 months.
I apologize to you for how I handled my thoughts and feelings about [Ax]. It shouldn't have been handled that way. I'm not mad that either of you made mistakes. I was mad at the lack of taking ownership of said mistakes. I was mad that I was lied to again when I called out those mistakes.
I just want us to work through this. I love you. I will always love you. I want to help you if and when I can. I always want to be a part of your life. I am hurt that you can so easily throw away our relationship because of one argument. I am hurt that you're acting like I've done something for you to be afraid of me.
My door is always open and I'm always just a phone call away.
Love, Mom"
It makes me feel like I'm in the wrong and I'm actually unsure if I'm being to harsh on her. AITH?
TLDR; I move in with my fiancé. Arguments with mom as she acusses us of things we didn't do besides one thing. Im tired and stressed so go almost no contact. I get an email from her making me rethink my position on the matter.
Edit 1 and 2: Updates to layout of the post.