I know it has been 4 months since the S2 Natalia Speaks last updated, but I just finished it, and I'd like to share something I found that didn't be mentioned by other comments.
1.About Natalia's early "sexually active"
The staff once shown a picture to Natalia in S2, it is a photo that the baby Natalia laying on a table with diaper, and there was an old white man looked at her from the top, Natalia said she didn't have any memory about the photo.
To my view, I first noticed the baby Natalia in the photo looks like a product-for-selling rather than a child-to-be-adopted. I think if baby Natalia has been a victim of illegal child trade for sexual trade such as Epstein Island, that make sense to all of her adult-like speaks or behaviors about sexual when Natalia was kid, it is probably a mock of sexually abuse that Natalia experienced or witnessed in the past. Natalia may be aware of what happen to her early childhood to some extent, but her trauma avoid herself dig deeper.
Also, Natalia mentioned she once was chased by a man that wearing a freak mask, but she wasn't caught or hurt by the "wired masks man". I think the "freak mask" might be chemical protective mask.
Why Orphanage needs staff wearing chemical protective mask, walking around at night? Could the man be a producer of illegal drags that used to control little girls, force them to suffer sexually abuse and forget about all?
Natalia was such an adorable girl when she was young, but when she grows up, her disability started to effort on her appearance, and that might save her from been "adopted" as a sexual slave, unfortunately that also lead to her been abandoned in America after sent all the way from Ukraine.
I guess Natalia was taught to pleasure people by those "sexually active" when she was little, even she didn't understand anything at that moment and forgot it all, but those "reward pattern" had underlying in her subconscious. When Natalia felt alone or helpless, it was something could get attention to her and "helped" her from being neglected. So when she was sent to metal hospital or being drop alone in apartment, Natalia stared to act like "sexual deviant" just in order to survived.
And Natalia's trauma behavior was noticed by Kristine early in her adoption, then inspired Kristine to change Natalia's age.
2.Kristine's hatred towards Natalia
A lot of assumptions about Kristine's abuse come up, like financial burden or discriminate of little people, I not going to repeat what was told in S2. There is another assumption: Kristine fears Natalia thread her control of her hasband and sons.
Firstly, Jacob and other kids were born and rise up by Kristine, boys trust Kristine very much, but it didn't work to Natalia. So Kristine's genius generating project fail at Natalia. Maybe Jacob started to doubled about Kristine's story. So Kristine isolated boys from Natalia, and especially forced Jacob to abuse Natalia so that they would's get closed to each other.
Michael was always a perfect accomplice thanks to Kristine's sexual appealing to Michael （S1 Michael mentioned）, but when Kristine noticed Natalia's "sexual behavior", she probably afraid that Michael turned his's coat, stand with Natalia then spoke out their evil things, so Kristine kicked Michael out later.
3. Is Michael Innocent ?
Absolutely NOT.
Obviously Michael knew about every crime he commit, he knew clearly he is guilty, and he freaking out of the past truth were uncovered, so he hires a big lawyer team helped him ran away for jail, well I hope it is temporarily. His facial expressions and movements tells how hard he tried to convince people, also shows how much truth he hided.
What was refused to talk about might be what Michael did against to law.
During Michael's meeting and all the interview, he has never saw Natalia as a family member, NEVER.
And I noticed there was a ring on Michael's ring finger when he met up with Natalia. If he has a new wife that just forget about it, but if he doesn't, that's interesting.
Then Michael successful cheat Natalia by his tear of crocodile, his goal was definitely not the pray or forgiveness from Natalia, but to erase Natalia's any idea of prosecution.
I think if Natalia hadn't forgiven Michael, he could have repeat Kristine's strategy, make story of how crazy Natalia was, blame everything on Kristine, just to get himself innocent.
Jacob is Michael's accomplice this time, helps Michael and himself hide the truth, ready to embrace Michael's bleeding new life. Jacob was innocent when he was a kid, but now he choose to stand with Michael.
4.Why does Mans family change their mind?
I think it also about lost control.
When Mans shown up in S2, I didn't feel they are ideal family for Natalia. Mans family are typical super religious family that adopt a lots kids and think it is their responsibility to guide(control) them. Natalia isn't the only special kid in Mans' family.
Of course Mans family is not Barnet NO.2, they rise Natalia up for so much years, it is fact. Problem comes up probably because Natalia want to be more independent but Mans think they should always been fully control. They were heaven when Natalia was a kid, but things might changed when she is an adult now.
And I guess Mans family might also talks about how intolerable of some behaviors, such as "normal" dirty words, or "sexual deviant". Natalia deny her child "sexually active" probably is also a self-protection for not to losing Mans family's love because of those "guilty experience".
After all, I wish everything could end up with a happy end in final S3.

I shared this story before on another Reddit, but I wanted to tell it again years later after the fact. To start things up, I was by no means the best DM. I look back on myself right now and see that I could have done things a lot better. Still, I was the forever DM who was the only one who would run any games. I asked other people, and they always referred to me. This made me prideful, but looking back I can see how naïve I was and that I needed to learn some hard lessons. Like, first and foremost, Don't invite anyone into the game without careful selection.
This is the story of how I learned that I needed to interview people and get a good feel for them rather than invite friends of a friend. I will be referring to players by different names to protect their identities.
We begin with my friend. We'll call him Jack. Jack is a good guy. Though I can never tell if he is telling the truth or lying. The way he talks sometimes makes it seem like he is making these Munchausen-esque grandiose stories. For example: he once told me that he knew without a shadow of a doubt that World of Warcraft was coming to the Xbox. At the time I laughed this off until Microsoft bought Activision Blizzard, and now that became quite a possibility.
Anyway, we were playing Red Dead online together. Jack had brought a friend. We'll call him Gary Stu. That guy. At first, he seemed to be just as chill as Jack. Jack mentioned that I was a DM and had stories to share. I told him all of the wacky stories that happened in my game which had been running for a couple of years at that point. He was enraptured by the antics of one of my players who tried to break into prison just to kill a cultist. He asked if I was open to having more players, wanting to join my game. Thinking he had a decent story about a character he wanted to do, I decided to test the waters for a bit.
I eventually set up a One Shot with him and his character. He and another player were tasked with delving deep into an ancient tomb. Archeologists had found something in the black sands. The workers had all vanished and it was the duo's task to venture into the tomb. Together, Gary Stu and a Dragonborn sorcerer we'll call "Greg" were tasked with finding out what happened. After avoiding several traps and dangers, they eventually come across a large room. They inadvertently release an ancient Lich named Naziem, The left hand of Malarand, The first lich in this world. It was a decent fight, but Naziem nearly killed Gary Stu. Fortunately, Greg was able to make the killing blow, but Naziem had hidden his phylactery in the world, A common tactic he did, Hence why he was sealed away rather than destroyed. Naziem was destroyed, but he swore revenge.
Naziem would be Gary's Arch nemesis going forward. All in all this one shot was very fun, and everyone had a blast. Little had I known that the near-death experience would prove to be the catalyst for future actions.
I liked Gary's roleplay enough that I decided to bring him into the main campaign. For the next few sessions, things progressed very well. And then I brought in Natalia. Natalia was a princess who the rest of the party was familiar with. I thought that the party would enjoy having her around as a helper NPC. A character who wanted to good for goodness sake. She had disguised herself as a masked Zoro like figure named "The Thrush." She and Gary hit it off very well, and a romance had started to bloom. But eventually, things turned into crap after that.
In one instance, Gary used an ability that was basically a flashbang. However, He neglected the fact that Natalia was in the way. This was bad enough, but the party was in the underdark fighting a small horde of Intellect devourers. These things had no eyes. So he had effectively blinded Natalia. Then he tries to stab an intellect devourer. He gets a Nat 1. I roll and determine the outcome. He ended up stabbing Natalia in the leg. Natalia's turn rolls up. I roll to attack...Nat 1. I roll for the outcome...She ends up stabbing HIM in the leg with her Rapier. The other party members are laughing hysterically at this, but Gary goes quiet. The fight is wrapped up and all of the players are healing up.
Gary secludes himself away from the rest of the party by an underground river. IRL he's upset about how the rolls went. I tell him that there's nothing that he could have done. The rolls just happened to go that way. Everyone in the party has a story about the dreaded Nat 1, but Gary took it personally. In the group, getting a story like what happened to Gary was like a badge of honor, but Gary was upset, feeling like he was weak and needed to get stronger.
Later, he pulls me aside one day to discuss his character. He wanted to multiclass and gave me a class idea he wanted to do. He had found some type of homebrew class that effectively made it to where any time he died, He would come back to life. I was horrified at this. Now I was a pushover in the game. I let my players get away with things no seasoned DM would. But if there was one thing that I didn't tolerate it was characters who were effectively immortal.
I told him No. After some talkback, I put my foot down and told him that there was no way I could allow a character who would negate Death. It was in that discussion that I learned why Gary wanted this class so badly. He was terrified of dying after Naziem had nearly done him in, and desperately wanted to keep his character alive. Every failed roll felt like a dagger and he quickly became paranoid. He started to talk back to the other players, taking in character banter like personal attacks. First in the game, then in Discord itself.
Then I had made the unfortunate mistake of getting a bot for the discord to make things fun. I got Bots and renamed them into characters from my game. The Music bot was named after an NPC bard the party hung around often. And this bot happened to have a cute anime girl who looked a lot like my headcanon picture for Natalia.
There were several activities with the Bot. One included a little game where you give the bot some options and asked it which one it prefers. Among the list of players, Gary Stu's never made it to 1st place. When Gary saw this, He flipped out beyond reason. I checked the discord to find that it had exploded in rage and vitriol. It was then I learned that Gary Stu was obsessed over the NPC. A conversation with Jack later revealed that he treated Natalia as if she was real and his actual girlfriend.
Gary proceeds to have, and I shit you not, a full mental breakdown. He calls all of the players all sorts of vile names and goes on a horrible rant. He proceeds to threaten the two players who played with the bot. He even went after a new guy, We'll call Tommy. Tommy was a new player meant to replace another player who had to leave for X reason. He had only arrived in the discord a few days before, but was not spared Gary's wrath. Gary was on the warpath and everyone was getting shot at.
Then came the death threats. He threatened to burn down each of the players houses. The Raging and yelling was bad enough, but one thing that is an instant ban in my opinion was a Death Threat. I take death threats seriously. I put up with a lot of shit, but I will not tolerate anyone threatening anyone else. As I clicked on his name to ban him, Gary made more threats.
Gary: "HAHAHAHAHA! YOU THINK ITS FUNNY, TOMMY?! WELL HERES A JOKE FOR YOU! KNOCK KNOCK IM BURNING YOUR FUCKING HOUSE DOWN!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I can't control my rage its like a free train"
No further words or actions were necessary. I banned him right then and there. I was in a chat with Jack during this. Jack thought it was a good idea to let Gary's mom know what was going on. all the while, Gary was DMing me about letting him back in, but I refused. He claimed that DnD was the only thing that was keeping him from self-deleting, that he has a mental illness, and that's why he doesn't have a GF, and he can't afford a therapist, and he always loses his friends because they "Didn't stay long to know the Real me." I however think that the opposite is true. That they don't stay Because they saw the real him.
I was having none of it. I told him that it was a perma ban and that was that. I blocked him, apologized to everyone else in the party, and would continue the game at some other point. We continued my game, and prayed that that was the last time I would have to deal with a "That Guy." unfortunately it wasn't but that is a story for another time.
Its been several years now and I look back. I don't know exactly what I could have done differently, but I know that I could have done better. I wouldn't know what point to go back to tell myself what to do and what not to do. I have no idea how Gary is doing right now. I hope and pray that he managed to get the help he deserves. I haven't inquired about him to Jack, who also apologized for Gary's behavior.
For any New DMs out there, I have a message for you. Don't just invite anyone. Make sure you know about them beforehand, ask them questions or anything like that. Set up interviews like it was a job or something. You don't need a whole lot of players to join your game. Keep it small and simple. This was just one of my many mistakes as a young DM and I am constantly trying to make myself better. Anyway, Thank you for reading and I hope you have a great day/night/whenever you're reading this.

Welcome to what promises to be a very busy day on the sub! Today there's plenty of exciting things going on in the world of ESC and on the sub:

• Second Rehearsals for all 15 countries competing in the first semi-final, culminating in the first YouTube rehearsals snippets from the camera feed!
• Two Traditional AMAs with Gåte (16:00CEST) and Marcus & Martinus (19:00CEST)!
• Short Video AMAs with all of the semi-final 1 artists organised by Eurovision Official using community submitted questions!

🎊 It's Rehearsals Week!

Like last year, no media representative is permitted to view or access any individual artist rehearsals between Saturday 27th April and Saturday 4th May.

This is to allow all artists to rehearse in private and the production to perfect each performance before it is seen in full when dress rehearsals begin on Monday 8 May. Excerpts from first rehearsals will be shared on TikTok and second rehearsals on the event's official digital platforms. Some participating broadcasters will also share highlights on their digital channels. [eurovision.tv]

Galleries of rehearsal pictures for each entrant will be posted on eurovision.tv . For the first rehearsals, behind-the-scenes content and a short excerpt of the rehearsal filmed from within the arena will be shared on Eurovision's official TikTok. Second rehearsal clips from the camera feed are expected to be posted on Eurovision's YouTube, where it is believed they will be posted as one long video at the end of the day.
Live Blog
We are excited to announce that Eurovision are moving their daily live blog here, to this subreddit! Eurovision Official will be posting a daily live-thread for which they will keep updated with rehearsal information and pictures as they come, and you can react with the rest of the community in the comments!
Please note that there is no rehearsals liveblog planned today as the liveblog only covers the first rehearsals. Instead, we will be having...
Video AMAS
Shortly after their second rehearsals, each of the artists will head into Eurovision's Digital Studio, where one of our very own mods will be on hand to conduct a Video AMA! These videos will include the artists reacting to various content which has been shared on the subreddit over the past couple of months, as well as answering community-submitted questions. These will then be edited into short videos which will be uploaded throughout the day by Eurovision Official!
You can submit questions for all the artists in semi-final 1 here and here! And for semi-final 2 artists from Malta to Latvia here!
Official Eurovision Channels
Instagram TikTok Twitter YouTube Facebook Eurovision.tv
And of course any updates will end up posted here by you, our wonderful community!

🎬 Schedule and Links

This table will be updated with links as posts come out during the day.
2nd rehearsals (from 10:30 CET) [Source - not officially confirmed]

Country	Times (CET)	Photos	Thread
🇨🇾 Cyprus	10:30-10:50	Link	Discuss
🇷🇸 Serbia	10:55-11:15	Link	Discuss
🇱🇹 Lithuania	11:20-11:40	Link	Discuss
🇮🇪 Ireland	11:45-12:05	Link	Discuss
🇺🇦 Ukraine	12:10-12:30	Link	Discuss
🇵🇱 Poland	12:35-12:55	Link	Discuss
🇭🇷 Croatia	14:00-14:20	Link	Discuss
🇮🇸 Iceland	14:25-14:45	Link	Discuss
🇸🇮 Slovenia	14:50-15:10	Link	Discuss
🇫🇮 Finland	15:15-15:35	Link	Discuss
🇲🇩 Moldova	15:40-16:00	Link	Discuss
🇦🇿 Azerbaijan	16:30-16:50	Link	Discuss
🇦🇺 Australia	16:55-17:15	Link	Discuss
🇵🇹 Portugal	17:20-17:40	Link	Discuss
🇱🇺 Luxembourg	17:45-18:05	Link	Discuss

Anybody is free to post a new photo gallery or rehearsals video, but please remember the following:

• Please sort by new to make sure nobody has already posted the content
• If re-uploading TikTok videos, remember to put a link to the video in the post itself or as a comment
• Use descriptive titles
• Please let others also post by not posting multiple times yourself

🎙️ Mods In Malmö & Rehearsals Coverage

As previously reported, some of our team will be in Malmö conducting interviews and creating Reddit-reacts content with the artists. You can still post comments, memes, fan-art and other content for the artists to see in the respective appreciation posts. Stay tuned for the release of that content! We are also particularly looking for your memes in this linked thread. Stay tuned for the release of that content!
We have also received press accreditation - we will be liveblogging through the Dress Rehearsals and Evening Previews (aka: the jury shows) on Monday 6th, Wednesday 8th and Friday 10th May.

📝 Upcoming & Recent AMAs

Unfortunately 5miinust & Puuluup have had to postpone their AMA from today to next Tuesday.

Date	Time	Artist/Interviewee
Thursday 25th April	15:00CEST	Ola Melzig (Senior Technical Director for Eurovision 2024)
Wednesday 1st May	16:00CEST	🇳🇴 Gåte
Wednesday 1st May	19:00CEST	🇸🇪 Marcus & Martinus
Friday 3rd May	16:00CEST	🇧🇪 Gustaph (ESC 2023)
Friday 3rd May	18:30CEST	🇱🇹 Silvester Belt
Tuesday 7th May	TBC	🇪🇪 5miinust & Puuluup

And hopefully more exciting AMAs TBC!
Check out our past AMAs on the Wiki.

Other Important Posts

📈 Betting odds thread

Check out the daily odds thread for general discussions regarding the current state of the betting odds for Eurovision 2024.
Significant changes can be discussed in separate posts, but please ensure that the title contains no spoilers. The usual posting rules also apply - make sure you use descriptive titles, the correct flair and are promoting discussion.

🛫 Tickets, Travel, Tourism, and where to find public viewing parties

Check out our Weekly Travel and Tourism Thread to ask your travel, tourism, or ticket related questions.
If you're looking for a public watch party in a particular area, please use our dedicated megathread!

📺 Where to watch ESC if the YouTube streams are geoblocked

Check out our dedicated wiki page!
The YouTube streams are blocked in the following countries: Australia, Greece, Lithuania, UK, and US.

🎉 Fun and Games

We're excited to announce Eurovision Bingo, a special subreddit game coming during ESC week! Please make bingo card suggestions here!
Our very own u/ledenasvila has also set up a FantaESC league for the eurovision community! If like me you have no idea what that means or how it works but would like to find out more, see this thread!

🎊 It's Rehearsals Week!

Like last year, no media representative is permitted to view or access any individual artist rehearsals between Saturday 27th April and Saturday 4th May.

This is to allow all artists to rehearse in private and the production to perfect each performance before it is seen in full when dress rehearsals begin on Monday 8 May. Excerpts from first rehearsals will be shared on TikTok and second rehearsals on the event's official digital platforms. Some participating broadcasters will also share highlights on their digital channels. [eurovision.tv]

Galleries of rehearsal pictures for each entrant will be posted on eurovision.tv . For the first rehearsals, behind-the-scenes content and a short excerpt of the rehearsal filmed from within the arena will be shared on Eurovision's official TikTok. Second rehearsal clips from the camera feed are expected to be posted on Eurovision's YouTube.
Live Blog
We are excited to announce that Eurovision are moving their daily live blog here, to this subreddit! Eurovision Official will be posting a daily live thread which they will keep updated with rehearsal information and pictures as they come, and you can react with the rest of the community in the comments!
Please remember to report any comments that break the rules - we will be keeping a close eye on the threads but it's easy for things to slip through the cracks in busy threads.
Official Eurovision Channels
Instagram TikTok Twitter YouTube Facebook Eurovision.tv
And of course any updates will end up posted here by you, our wonderful community!

🎬 Schedule and Links

This table will be updated with links as posts come out during the day.
1st rehearsals (from 10:30 CET) [Source - timings unconfirmed]

Country	Times (CET)	Photos	Video	Thread
🇮🇸 Iceland	10:30-11:00	Link	Link	Discuss
🇸🇮 Slovenia	11:10-11:40	Link	Link	Discuss
🇫🇮 Finland	11:50-12:20	Link	Link	Discuss
🇲🇩 Moldova	12:30-13:00	Link	Link	Discuss
🇦🇿 Azerbaijan	14:10-14:40	Link	Link	Discuss
🇦🇺 Australia	14:50-15:20	Link	Link	Discuss
🇵🇹 Portugal	15:30-16:00	Link	Link	Discuss
🇱🇺 Luxembourg	16:10-16:40	Link	Link	Discuss

Anybody is free to post a new photo gallery or rehearsals video, but please remember the following:

• Please sort by new to make sure nobody has already posted the content
• If re-uploading TikTok videos, remember to put a link to the video in the post itself or as a comment
• Use descriptive titles
• Please let others also post by not posting multiple times yourself

🎙️ Song of the Day, Mods In Malmö & Rehearsals Coverage

Today is our final song of the day, with the spotlight on 🇸🇪 'Unforgettable' by Marcus and Martinus! Please share your appreciation, fan-art and memes in the appreciation post when it goes up later this morning!
As previously reported, some of our team will be in Malmö conducting interviews and creating Reddit-reacts content with the artists. You can still post comments, memes, fan-art and other content for the artists to see in the respective appreciation posts. Stay tuned for the release of that content!
We have also received press accreditation - we will be liveblogging through the Dress Rehearsals and Evening Previews (aka: the jury shows) on Monday 6th, Wednesday 8th and Friday 10th May.

📝 Upcoming & Recent AMAs

Date	Time	Artist/Interviewee
Thursday 25th April	15:00CEST	Ola Melzig (Senior Technical Director for Eurovision 2024)
Wednesday 1st May	13:00CEST	🇪🇪 5miinust & Puuluup
Wednesday 1st May	16:00CEST	🇳🇴 Gåte
Friday 3rd May	16:00CEST	🇧🇪 Gustaph (ESC 2023)

And hopefully more exciting AMAs TBC!
Check out our past AMAs on the Wiki.

Other Important Posts

📈 Betting odds thread

See our daily odds thread for general discussions regarding the current state of the betting odds for Eurovision 2024.
Significant changes can be discussed in separate posts, but please ensure that the title contains no spoilers. The usual posting rules also apply - make sure you use descriptive titles, the correct flair and are promoting discussion.

🛫 Tickets, Travel, Tourism, and where to find public viewing parties

Check out our Weekly Travel and Tourism Thread to ask your travel, tourism, or ticket related questions.
If you're looking for a public watch party in a particular area, please use our dedicated megathread!

📺 Where to watch ESC if the YouTube streams are geoblocked

Check out our dedicated wiki page!
At time of writing, we believe that the YouTube streams are blocked in the following countries: Australia, Greece, Lithuania, UK, and US.

Just a rant I wanna go on and yes I am putting the spoilers on for a game from 1997.
A little context: I recently purchased and finished playing Fallout 4 after it gathering dust in my wishlist for nearly a decade. I later learned that, apparently, the wider Fallout community thinks it's bad. Like, the game has glaring faults but it's still an enjoyable experience in my book. So I decided to get the OG game and see what is so amazing that it kick-started a multi-decade franchise and is supposedly better than what modern gaming has to offer.
The game is amazing. I never played this game before, in fact it came out before it was born but even in 2024 it is a masterpiece. The UI is a little clunky and it doesn't track all the quests but it is still an amazing game. There is this choice to implement 'talking heads' for 21/162 of the game's named characters. These characters are voiced and have animated profile pictures displayed when you speak to them. Typically this is a character that is relevant to the main plot, gives you important information, or plays a critical role in tutorialising the player's introduction to the world. It was a 6 step process even to make these heads let alone animate them to the voice-actors lines, which involved a different software to implement, so these would've been very intentionally crafted characters. One of those that you meet early on is Tandi.
I was about an hour or so into my first playthrough when I rescued Tandi. Fought for her in hand-to-hand combat like the honorable explorer I am! (I picked Natalia and her unarmed strike is 87/100) So we go back to Shady Sands and she's thanking me for saving her life blah blah.
Then, I noticed that I can flirt with her. I expected this to be there for the male players and it just didn't get phased out for the female model so I clicked it. Tandi rejects me, which I expected cause she canonically has a boyfriend, but how she rejects me struck me, and hasn't left me for nearly 2 days.
She specifically rejects me because she likes boys. Not because of anything to do with me, but because of her own preference.
In 1997 a computer game company made a game where you could play as a man or woman. They also made a young female character that they deemed so important that they implemented an animated profile using a process that included making a physical clay model, and hired a well-established voice actor to deliver her lines. They then thought of the possibility of the player choosing the female avatar and flirting with another female character.
They could have easily just blocked this option from the code, I didn't even get this option on my second playthrough. But they didn't. They, instead, got Cree Summers to record a completely separate voice line that you only get to hear if you play as a woman and meet all the necessary criteria to flirt with Tandi and then choose that option. That is a lot of effort for a single option that not a lot of players are going to find and they could have skipped by just making the game not present that option to the female avatar, but they did it. They made the effort.
This probably seems silly and I know there are games out there with more queer rep but seeing a cult classic was willing to put in the time, effort, and money to account for my existence before I even existed while multi-million dollar video-game corporations can't seem to make queer rep without it being some sort of tragedy just felt great and I wanted to put it out there.
Anyway, you should play Fallout.
Update: I just finished the game and…fuck the overseer

So I'm finishing the first half of the series and I of course find Michael and Kristine to be despicable people who deserve an awful lot of jail time. So please know that I do not empathize with either of them in any way.
However, I think it's also pretty despicable that the producers included Kristine's racy photos that Michael supposedly found in his Dropbox. How on earth is that okay? One, those were intimate photos that I'm sure she didn't intend to have seen by thousands of people. Even if she is a monster, she still has basic human rights. Two, they are completely irrelevant and it came across to me as textbook slut shaming. Every single other thing they claim she said and did was thousands of degrees worse than taking racy pictures of herself and sending them to someone.
While I found a lot of it informative, overall i can't say I like this "documentary". The whole scene with Jacob's hot mic feels fake as duck, but even if it wasn't, I find it incredibly gross that the producers decided to include it. Jacob's involvement in the doc at all feels wrong, or at least the way they handle his interviews. None of the things that happened were his fault. Sure he has a lot of insight to offer and revealed some awful things, but they did not seem to care about preventing him from experiencing any trauma while reliving those moments. They seem to take glee in showing him in a grungy basement as if it's some sort of karmic ending. He was a kid with developmental challenges, none of it is his fault.
Probably doesn't help that I'm not a big fan of Beth Karas, so I do acknowledge that I have some preformed biases. I have found it informative and I appreciated the insight I have gotten from watching it, but it all leaves such a bad taste in my mouth. No experts to present basic, obvious facts in contradiction of the claims of Michael (directly) and Kristine (via videotapes) about Natalia's age, abilities and behavior. It almost comes across as a defense of the Barnett's even though I am pretty sure it's meant to be a condemnation. Ugh. But of course I will probably keep watching because I want to see Natalia's half.

I apologize. This is long. But please stay with me through the end. Just give me 10 minutes. I know that you’ve read the title and are probably going to tell me that I owe no one to come out if I don’t want to. And normally I’d agree if this was about anyone else but I believe that when none of them has ever failed you, you ought to give them the benefit of the doubt. And they have never failed me. I (18F) realized I liked girls when I was 15. I’m not really sure how to explain how it happened. Slowly I realized I liked girls. It wasn’t like you see in some shows. I was fine with it and I didn’t have any sort of existential crisis in which I hated myself or anything like that. And I knew I liked boys too. I was sure. I’m bisexual. That’s the term that rings true to me. I’ve never really liked labels but I figured a label would help me explain to my family one day what to expect when I started dating. Which for the record, I’ve never dated. I have never been in any sort of relationship with a guy or girl. I don’t even have friends. I’m on a first name basis with my classmates but why shouldn’t I? My family are the only ones in my life. Which makes this more difficult for me. I’ve always been an introvert, even within my family. And I’m not the type of person that likes to combine the different relationship groups of one’s lives. But still, my family would never let me date anyone they don’t know or allow me to be secretive about it. So I don’t think they will give me a choice. But I’ve always thought I would come out when I’m older, be casual about it, and maybe say “I have a girlfriend” because I don’t want to do a big announcement. But lately I’ve been thinking that maybe I shouldn’t come out at all. This is why: My grandfather “Timothy” will not take it well. I just know it. And my grandma “Natalia" is complicated. She’s sweet, a good person, very agreeable and she’s the grandparent with whom I have the closest relationship with but I’m not sure if I want her to know. She doesn’t like LGBT content in T.V. and one time when I showed her a picture of one of my classmates dressed as Terrence from Tinkerbell, she immediately asked if he was gay. She had a facial expression I did not like much. One time, I was watching this Netflix series, Dynasty, a long time ago, in which they passed a scene with two guys in a bedroom, one hugging the other from behind and they didn’t have tops on. Anyways my grandmother “Natalia” passed by and said “Ay, it is about faggots!”. She didn’t even stop to make the remark. She just kept walking. For context: We’re Mexican and also religious. I don’t have a problem with being bisexual and Catholic. I don’t think it contradicts anything that I was taught at the church. The word “faggot” is a bigger deal in english speaking countries than it is in spanish speaking countries. The Spanish word is “joto”. It’s not as strong as it is in the US but it is still not a word you want to throw around to gay or trans people if you presume to have good manners. And then there’s that occasion in which I think my aunt “Charlotte” and my grandmother “Natalia” were discussing a boyfriend my aunt “Amelie” was supposedly dating. I was there in the kitchen with them, not really caring about whatever they were discussing but then my aunt “Charlotte” asked: “Isn’t he gay?” And that’s when I started hearing their conversation. It is something I do to try to figure out what they think of the different sexualities or genders. My grandma “Natalia” responded “I think he likes both.” She didn’t say the word but I was aware of what she was referring to. My aunt “Charlotte '' responded “I don't’ really think that’s a real thing. I just don't believe it”, essentially saying you can only be attracted to one gender. She didn’t have any ill feelings towards people identifying as that. My aunt “Charlotte” looked immersed in her thoughts, a little confused, even. And I jumped in the conversation and I asked her “What about Callie in Grey’s anatomy?” ‘cause we both watch that show and I knew she was familiar with what I was talking about. And then my aunt “Charlotte '' told me “But that was before she realized she was lesbian”. To which I responded “But even after getting with Arizona, she kept hooking up with Mark”. And my aunt ”Charlotte” was like “Yeah, that’s true”. And that 's it. Did she change her mind? Was she just agreeing with what happened in the show? Did she just become disinterested in the subject? I don’t know. And I can’t ask her because it is difficult enough for us to start a conversation, despite how close we are, and to make matters more difficult, when we do talk it’s nothing related to this. I mentioned one of my classmates dressed as Terrence from Tinkerbell. It was for a school project: a disney-themed Christmas caravan. We went with Tinkerbell. And we decided to dress two of my classmates into Tinkerbell and Terrence. We really should have dressed “Nino” as Peter Pan. No one recognized his character. They both put on a costume and put on makeup. I took a picture of them. They looked great. Nino is sort of feminine and vain in a very subtle way but dressing as a fairy was only going to amplify those characteristics of him. The next morning, after the caravan, I went to my aunt “Charlotte’s” house. She asked me how the caravan went and I was excited to tell her since I thought it was really cool. And the night before I sent her pictures of everything and then out of nowhere she said "There's no way we wouldn't know your friend is gay." She doesn’t know him. I’ve never talked about him. She just saw the picture. And I was like “Charlotte!” And she responded “What? It 's not bad. It’s good to have a gay friend”. I don’t really think I have to worry about my aunt Charlotte, except for the fact that I don’t know if she already accepted bisexuality is something valid. She did tell me once, a long time ago, when I was little, that she had a female friend who was lesbian who declared her love towards my aunt Charlotte. And I don’t remember her talking ill of her friend. I think they remained friends after that but just lost touch over time. And then there’s my mom, “Lucrecia”. She really matters. A lot. We’re really close. We don’t engage in conversation a lot. Only a little bit. We mostly talk about relatives. I hug her everyday. I tell her I love her everyday. I call her “Mi amor”. And she’s not the easiest person in the world. One night I was making dinner for her and me and we started watching a telenovela that we usually watch. Two of the male teenage characters are in love. They’re gay. And normally I would use this as an opportunity to check how she reacts to that but I mostly try to show I’m indifferent to that. But as the novela progresses, their scenes become more heavy handed... No sex, not even kissing… But their love relationship is becoming more serious. Anyways, I can not fast forward because that would make things awkward. So I decided to mention a fact that I knew would interest her about one of the actors who played one of the gay characters: Emilio Osorio. He’s a Mexican actor. I don’t expect any of you to know him. I just told her “Did you know that Emilio and Karol (another actress she likes) used to date?” And she said “I did. He mentioned it in that reality show” And then I said: “Really? What did he say?” Her: “Just that she was very good girl” Me: Oh. Her: He’s kind of a bastard. First he says he’s gay and then he says he isn’t” Me (I didn’t know this about his personal life): Really? Umm… Are you sure he’s not bisexual? Her (who’s really annoyed): I don't know! Then they come out with that binary and non-binary nonsense! I knew what she was talking about with that last remark. It took me off guard. Where did she hear about binary and non-binary genders? I don’t know. She’s not the type of person to consume any socially related content, like LGBT content, whether it’s negative or positive. But she heard somewhere about this and it did not leave a good impression. And without knowing where she heard it, how can I know what she thinks about it? And that left me confused. She really likes this influencer who’s openly transgender. Her name is Wendy Guevara. She discovered her in that reality show. I think I’ve heard her use the correct pronouns. And that Netflix series, Dynasty, that I mentioned before… When I was 15 or 16 we were watching it before I went to school. It was the season 1 finale and just watching those episodes made my mom invested in the story. And she really liked the couple between Steve and Sam, another gay couple. She wanted to know if they were going to marry. So I’m receiving a lot of mixed signals from her. She’s enbyphobic, most likely, but I’m not willing to let it ruin our relationship. Especially when non-binary people don’t form part of our lives. I don’t know anyone who’s non-binary. She doesn’t either. I think I can talk her into accepting it’s not bad. I already spoke about my aunt Charlotte, my grandparent’s from my mother’s side, and my mom. It’s time to talk about my grandmother “Eloise”. I really love her but we’re not close. It’s hard enough to get me to open up already, the fact she lives 15 hours away, that she comes to vit once a year and stays around two weeks, and we do not chat frequently… I do so once every two months (I know that makes me seem like a jerk but it’s just not in my nature to reach out to anyone and make conversation)... All that makes it difficult for us to have a meaningful relationship. But I really do love her. She 's my grandma. Anyways… My grandma “Eloise” and my grandpa “Zoso” are Christians just like my dad and his brother. I’ve always known this. They go to church regularly, share bible verses… It’s a big part of their life. And they are genuinely good people. They are kind, they have good manners, they are compassionate… Although I know that the homophobia from my grandma Eloise will leave you with a very bad impression. I just hate that my grandma is living proof that you’re not all bad when you’re homophobic. And unlike my other family members, she’s made that very clear. It’s not a hunch or anything. It's a fact. She’s never talked about this with me but recently, three days ago, she SHARED a facebook post. The facebook post: Celebrate Heterosexual Pride. Male dad and female mother… the family in its original design just like God created it. (Génesis 1:27) And in her post she commented: “Amen. God created man and woman to pair with each other and procreate sons and daughters. Deceptions of the devil that man with man or woman with woman can marry and adopt children. This goes against the rulings of God. God bless you” If this had been made by any other person, I would have gone into an online fight and made a snarky comment about the “God bless you” line. But it was my grandmother Eloise. I never pictured her doing something like this. I thought she maybe was, I was never sure, on the benevolent and tolerant side of the Christian community. Thankfully my dad didn’t heart the post. Maybe he just didn’t see it even though he is active on Facebook and follows her but I’m just glad I didn’t see his username when I clicked to find out who liked the post and who didn’t. I’ve read posts here on reddit where people say “My family’s openly transphobic” or “My family is openly homophobic” or “openly racist”. But my family isn’t like that. Please allow me to explain. Those posts I’ve read are about bigoted families… who constantly spew transphobic, homophobic, racist comments. My family does not revolve over this subject. You could say my family has bigotry but you could not say my family is bigoted. There are families that, for example, are constantly taught racist ideologies, then the whole family grows up to be racist. But in families like mine, everyone grows up to have their own opinions, opinions which I’m not familiar with. Do I explain myself? They think what they think and they leave it at that. My grandma Natalia and my mother would probably see this as “not the hill to die on”. I don’t know about my two grandpas. My grandpa Timothy is very cisheteronormative but I don’t know to what extent and my grandpa Zoso, I’ve heard nothing from him that would allow me to make a guess about how he would react if I ever come out. I feel stupid overthinking this. My grandma Eloise (who made the post) and my grandpa Zoso live 15 hours away. I see them so little. I bet I could hide this from them. I bet my dad wouldn’t tell them anything. But still. And my other grandparents, I see them almost everyday. I could not hide this from them. Maybe my mom would not tell them. She definitely wouldn’t tell her father. But there’s also the possibility that she would tell my grandma Natalia immediately. It 's 50/50. How do I think my mother and father would react? She says that if someone ever hurt me, she would kill them. But if I came out to my mother, I probably would just annoy her and that would make me mad and we would fight pretty ugly maybe for a month and after I would probably tell her that it was all false. Or maybe she would accept me, not make this a big deal, but she would be pretty hurt and angry that I didn’t tell her before if that happens to be her reaction. And she will not believe that I know I’m bisexual if I’ve never fallen in love with a guy or a girl. And my dad… He’s different. He’s “in love” with me but he isn’t always honest with me. He married and didn’t tell me until after the wedding, a month later, I think. And he would do just about anything for me. He likes to spoil me. He visits me maybe three days a month, when he’s on vacation. We do not talk much. I heard him use the word “joto” before while talking with my mother, in the least insulting way possible. I’m not sure how he would react. His reaction wouldn’t be negative. That’s all I can guess. He probably would be very scared that I cut contact with him. So if I ever come out to him, I’m not thrilled of exploiting the love he has for me if I have too. I’m pretty sure that if I told him “You’re walking on eggshells” if and after I come out to him, that would scare the shit out of him. I am capable of saying that to him. And I hate myself for that because he’s always been good to me and I would be pretty shitty if I did that. So I want to keep myself from hurting him by not coming out. But then if he finds out through someone else, that would also hurt him. Do I have anyone to support me if I decide to come out? Yes, my aunts. Aunt Charlotte, aunt Amelie, and aunt “Kate”. Aunt Kate is very enigmatic but I do not think she’s prejudiced. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had gay friends. She’s the youngest of my aunts. And she’s great with me. But she’s not the kind of person to meddle with anyone else’s business. There’s my aunt Amelie, who’s not confrontational. Lesbian and gay relationships are for her, out of the ordinary. But I think she would be fine with it. And there’s my aunt Charlotte, who’s the safest person to come out to. She can be the first person I tell this to. Like I said, she probably wouldn’t understand bisexuality and I think I can live with that, but she wouldn’t judge or anything. But the problem is my mom and her have a good relationship but not so good. My mother doesn’t like that I’m this close with her or that Charlotte has a bigger influence on me than she does. And it 's true. My aunt Charlotte gives me clothes and tells me how to walk, and gives me advice on what exercises I should try out… If my mother finds out Charlotte knew before her, it would cause a big fight between them and I hate it when they fight. It makes me so anxious. And overall, I think none of them would keep the secret. If any of them senses that I’m not okay keeping this secret, they will insist that I tell my mother or they will tell her themselves because they might think it's for the best. And my mother, she could either confront me or ignore thinking it might just be a phase. I’m obviously not going to tell any of them until I’ve moved out and I’m fully in control of my life and with a job. And I know I’m most likely not going to get into a relationship anytime soon but since that facebook post, I’m considering never coming out. I’ve also considered not coming out until after my four grandparents die, but I hate thinking like this. They’re my grandparents! I love them! I want them to live for the rest of eternity. I would feel awful if they ever left this world. And they love me. All my family loves me truly with all their hearts. If I came out to them, they would either change their mind or try to change my mind. I feel they deserve the opportunity to prove me wrong. And also, I want to find out more of what they think about this. I feel like I’m working with crumbs here and I don’t have any kind of concrete evidence to make a decision. The only thing that eases my mind is that I can change this decision. Any advice on what I should do? Or maybe you have some ideas on how I can gain a broader perspective on how they would react? It’s not common for me to overthink this but I think it’s time I make a decision, create a plan.

I apologize. This is long. But please stay with me through the end. Just give me 10 minutes. I know that you’ve read the title and are probably going to tell me that I owe no one to come out if I don’t want to. And normally I’d agree if this was about anyone else but I believe that when none of them has ever failed you, you ought to give them the benefit of the doubt. And they have never failed me. I (18F) realized I liked girls when I was 15. I’m not really sure how to explain how it happened. Slowly I realized I liked girls. It wasn’t like you see in some shows. I was fine with it and I didn’t have any sort of existential crisis in which I hated myself or anything like that. And I knew I liked boys too. I was sure. I’m bisexual. That’s the term that rings true to me. I’ve never really liked labels but I figured a label would help me explain to my family one day what to expect when I started dating. Which for the record, I’ve never dated. I have never been in any sort of relationship with a guy or girl. I don’t even have friends. I’m on a first name basis with my classmates but why shouldn’t I? My family are the only ones in my life. Which makes this more difficult for me. I’ve always been an introvert, even within my family. And I’m not the type of person that likes to combine the different relationship groups of one’s lives. But still, my family would never let me date anyone they don’t know or allow me to be secretive about it. So I don’t think they will give me a choice. But I’ve always thought I would come out when I’m older, be casual about it, and maybe say “I have a girlfriend” because I don’t want to do a big announcement. But lately I’ve been thinking that maybe I shouldn’t come out at all. This is why: My grandfather “Timothy” will not take it well. I just know it. And my grandma “Natalia" is complicated. She’s sweet, a good person, very agreeable and she’s the grandparent with whom I have the closest relationship with but I’m not sure if I want her to know. She doesn’t like LGBT content in T.V. and one time when I showed her a picture of one of my classmates dressed as Terrence from Tinkerbell, she immediately asked if he was gay. She had a facial expression I did not like much. One time, I was watching this Netflix series, Dynasty, a long time ago, in which they passed a scene with two guys in a bedroom, one hugging the other from behind and they didn’t have tops on. Anyways my grandmother “Natalia” passed by and said “Ay, it is about faggots!”. She didn’t even stop to make the remark. She just kept walking. For context: We’re Mexican and also religious. I don’t have a problem with being bisexual and Catholic. I don’t think it contradicts anything that I was taught at the church. The word “faggot” is a bigger deal in english speaking countries than it is in spanish speaking countries. The Spanish word is “joto”. It’s not as strong as it is in the US but it is still not a word you want to throw around to gay or trans people if you presume to have good manners. And then there’s that occasion in which I think my aunt “Charlotte” and my grandmother “Natalia” were discussing a boyfriend my aunt “Amelie” was supposedly dating. I was there in the kitchen with them, not really caring about whatever they were discussing but then my aunt “Charlotte” asked: “Isn’t he gay?” And that’s when I started hearing their conversation. It is something I do to try to figure out what they think of the different sexualities or genders. My grandma “Natalia” responded “I think he likes both.” She didn’t say the word but I was aware of what she was referring to. My aunt “Charlotte '' responded “I don't’ really think that’s a real thing. I just don't believe it”, essentially saying you can only be attracted to one gender. She didn’t have any ill feelings towards people identifying as that. My aunt “Charlotte” looked immersed in her thoughts, a little confused, even. And I jumped in the conversation and I asked her “What about Callie in Grey’s anatomy?” ‘cause we both watch that show and I knew she was familiar with what I was talking about. And then my aunt “Charlotte '' told me “But that was before she realized she was lesbian”. To which I responded “But even after getting with Arizona, she kept hooking up with Mark”. And my aunt ”Charlotte” was like “Yeah, that’s true”. And that 's it. Did she change her mind? Was she just agreeing with what happened in the show? Did she just become disinterested in the subject? I don’t know. And I can’t ask her because it is difficult enough for us to start a conversation, despite how close we are, and to make matters more difficult, when we do talk it’s nothing related to this. I mentioned one of my classmates dressed as Terrence from Tinkerbell. It was for a school project: a disney-themed Christmas caravan. We went with Tinkerbell. And we decided to dress two of my classmates into Tinkerbell and Terrence. We really should have dressed “Nino” as Peter Pan. No one recognized his character. They both put on a costume and put on makeup. I took a picture of them. They looked great. Nino is sort of feminine and vain in a very subtle way but dressing as a fairy was only going to amplify those characteristics of him. The next morning, after the caravan, I went to my aunt “Charlotte’s” house. She asked me how the caravan went and I was excited to tell her since I thought it was really cool. And the night before I sent her pictures of everything and then out of nowhere she said "There's no way we wouldn't know your friend is gay." She doesn’t know him. I’ve never talked about him. She just saw the picture. And I was like “Charlotte!” And she responded “What? It 's not bad. It’s good to have a gay friend”. I don’t really think I have to worry about my aunt Charlotte, except for the fact that I don’t know if she already accepted bisexuality is something valid. She did tell me once, a long time ago, when I was little, that she had a female friend who was lesbian who declared her love towards my aunt Charlotte. And I don’t remember her talking ill of her friend. I think they remained friends after that but just lost touch over time. And then there’s my mom, “Lucrecia”. She really matters. A lot. We’re really close. We don’t engage in conversation a lot. Only a little bit. We mostly talk about relatives. I hug her everyday. I tell her I love her everyday. I call her “Mi amor”. And she’s not the easiest person in the world. One night I was making dinner for her and me and we started watching a telenovela that we usually watch. Two of the male teenage characters are in love. They’re gay. And normally I would use this as an opportunity to check how she reacts to that but I mostly try to show I’m indifferent to that. But as the novela progresses, their scenes become more heavy handed... No sex, not even kissing… But their love relationship is becoming more serious. Anyways, I can not fast forward because that would make things awkward. So I decided to mention a fact that I knew would interest her about one of the actors who played one of the gay characters: Emilio Osorio. He’s a Mexican actor. I don’t expect any of you to know him. I just told her “Did you know that Emilio and Karol (another actress she likes) used to date?” And she said “I did. He mentioned it in that reality show” And then I said: “Really? What did he say?” Her: “Just that she was very good girl” Me: Oh. Her: He’s kind of a bastard. First he says he’s gay and then he says he isn’t” Me (I didn’t know this about his personal life): Really? Umm… Are you sure he’s not bisexual? Her (who’s really annoyed): I don't know! Then they come out with that binary and non-binary nonsense! I knew what she was talking about with that last remark. It took me off guard. Where did she hear about binary and non-binary genders? I don’t know. She’s not the type of person to consume any socially related content, like LGBT content, whether it’s negative or positive. But she heard somewhere about this and it did not leave a good impression. And without knowing where she heard it, how can I know what she thinks about it? And that left me confused. She really likes this influencer who’s openly transgender. Her name is Wendy Guevara. She discovered her in that reality show. I think I’ve heard her use the correct pronouns. And that Netflix series, Dynasty, that I mentioned before… When I was 15 or 16 we were watching it before I went to school. It was the season 1 finale and just watching those episodes made my mom invested in the story. And she really liked the couple between Steve and Sam, another gay couple. She wanted to know if they were going to marry. So I’m receiving a lot of mixed signals from her. She’s enbyphobic, most likely, but I’m not willing to let it ruin our relationship. Especially when non-binary people don’t form part of our lives. I don’t know anyone who’s non-binary. She doesn’t either. I think I can talk her into accepting it’s not bad. I already spoke about my aunt Charlotte, my grandparent’s from my mother’s side, and my mom. It’s time to talk about my grandmother “Eloise”. I really love her but we’re not close. It’s hard enough to get me to open up already, the fact she lives 15 hours away, that she comes to vit once a year and stays around two weeks, and we do not chat frequently… I do so once every two months (I know that makes me seem like a jerk but it’s just not in my nature to reach out to anyone and make conversation)... All that makes it difficult for us to have a meaningful relationship. But I really do love her. She 's my grandma. Anyways… My grandma “Eloise” and my grandpa “Zoso” are Christians just like my dad and his brother. I’ve always known this. They go to church regularly, share bible verses… It’s a big part of their life. And they are genuinely good people. They are kind, they have good manners, they are compassionate… Although I know that the homophobia from my grandma Eloise will leave you with a very bad impression. I just hate that my grandma is living proof that you’re not all bad when you’re homophobic. And unlike my other family members, she’s made that very clear. It’s not a hunch or anything. It's a fact. She’s never talked about this with me but recently, three days ago, she SHARED a facebook post. The facebook post: Celebrate Heterosexual Pride. Male dad and female mother… the family in its original design just like God created it. (Génesis 1:27) And in her post she commented: “Amen. God created man and woman to pair with each other and procreate sons and daughters. Deceptions of the devil that man with man or woman with woman can marry and adopt children. This goes against the rulings of God. God bless you” If this had been made by any other person, I would have gone into an online fight and made a snarky comment about the “God bless you” line. But it was my grandmother Eloise. I never pictured her doing something like this. I thought she maybe was, I was never sure, on the benevolent and tolerant side of the Christian community. Thankfully my dad didn’t heart the post. Maybe he just didn’t see it even though he is active on Facebook and follows her but I’m just glad I didn’t see his username when I clicked to find out who liked the post and who didn’t. I’ve read posts here on reddit where people say “My family’s openly transphobic” or “My family is openly homophobic” or “openly racist”. But my family isn’t like that. Please allow me to explain. Those posts I’ve read are about bigoted families… who constantly spew transphobic, homophobic, racist comments. My family does not revolve over this subject. You could say my family has bigotry but you could not say my family is bigoted. There are families that, for example, are constantly taught racist ideologies, then the whole family grows up to be racist. But in families like mine, everyone grows up to have their own opinions, opinions which I’m not familiar with. Do I explain myself? They think what they think and they leave it at that. My grandma Natalia and my mother would probably see this as “not the hill to die on”. I don’t know about my two grandpas. My grandpa Timothy is very cisheteronormative but I don’t know to what extent and my grandpa Zoso, I’ve heard nothing from him that would allow me to make a guess about how he would react if I ever come out. I feel stupid overthinking this. My grandma Eloise (who made the post) and my grandpa Zoso live 15 hours away. I see them so little. I bet I could hide this from them. I bet my dad wouldn’t tell them anything. But still. And my other grandparents, I see them almost everyday. I could not hide this from them. Maybe my mom would not tell them. She definitely wouldn’t tell her father. But there’s also the possibility that she would tell my grandma Natalia immediately. It 's 50/50. How do I think my mother and father would react? She says that if someone ever hurt me, she would kill them. But if I came out to my mother, I probably would just annoy her and that would make me mad and we would fight pretty ugly maybe for a month and after I would probably tell her that it was all false. Or maybe she would accept me, not make this a big deal, but she would be pretty hurt and angry that I didn’t tell her before if that happens to be her reaction. And she will not believe that I know I’m bisexual if I’ve never fallen in love with a guy or a girl. And my dad… He’s different. He’s “in love” with me but he isn’t always honest with me. He married and didn’t tell me until after the wedding, a month later, I think. And he would do just about anything for me. He likes to spoil me. He visits me maybe three days a month, when he’s on vacation. We do not talk much. I heard him use the word “joto” before while talking with my mother, in the least insulting way possible. I’m not sure how he would react. His reaction wouldn’t be negative. That’s all I can guess. He probably would be very scared that I cut contact with him. So if I ever come out to him, I’m not thrilled of exploiting the love he has for me if I have too. I’m pretty sure that if I told him “You’re walking on eggshells” if and after I come out to him, that would scare the shit out of him. I am capable of saying that to him. And I hate myself for that because he’s always been good to me and I would be pretty shitty if I did that. So I want to keep myself from hurting him by not coming out. But then if he finds out through someone else, that would also hurt him. Do I have anyone to support me if I decide to come out? Yes, my aunts. Aunt Charlotte, aunt Amelie, and aunt “Kate”. Aunt Kate is very enigmatic but I do not think she’s prejudiced. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had gay friends. She’s the youngest of my aunts. And she’s great with me. But she’s not the kind of person to meddle with anyone else’s business. There’s my aunt Amelie, who’s not confrontational. Lesbian and gay relationships are for her, out of the ordinary. But I think she would be fine with it. And there’s my aunt Charlotte, who’s the safest person to come out to. She can be the first person I tell this to. Like I said, she probably wouldn’t understand bisexuality and I think I can live with that, but she wouldn’t judge or anything. But the problem is my mom and her have a good relationship but not so good. My mother doesn’t like that I’m this close with her or that Charlotte has a bigger influence on me than she does. And it 's true. My aunt Charlotte gives me clothes and tells me how to walk, and gives me advice on what exercises I should try out… If my mother finds out Charlotte knew before her, it would cause a big fight between them and I hate it when they fight. It makes me so anxious. And overall, I think none of them would keep the secret. If any of them senses that I’m not okay keeping this secret, they will insist that I tell my mother or they will tell her themselves because they might think it's for the best. And my mother, she could either confront me or ignore thinking it might just be a phase. I’m obviously not going to tell any of them until I’ve moved out and I’m fully in control of my life and with a job. And I know I’m most likely not going to get into a relationship anytime soon but since that facebook post, I’m considering never coming out. I’ve also considered not coming out until after my four grandparents die, but I hate thinking like this. They’re my grandparents! I love them! I want them to live for the rest of eternity. I would feel awful if they ever left this world. And they love me. All my family loves me truly with all their hearts. If I came out to them, they would either change their mind or try to change my mind. I feel they deserve the opportunity to prove me wrong. And also, I want to find out more of what they think about this. I feel like I’m working with crumbs here and I don’t have any kind of concrete evidence to make a decision. The only thing that eases my mind is that I can change this decision. Any advice on what I should do? Or maybe you have some ideas on how I can gain a broader perspective on how they would react? It’s not common for me to overthink this but I think it’s time I make a decision, create a plan.

Andrew Garfield as Doc Brown (Peter 3 in all of No Way Home+John Larson+the Charisma and Science Scenes of Amazing Spider-Man 1 and 2 all give Doc Brown Vibes that and Andrew Himself)
He's currently 40 turning 41 this Year so he'd be 40-let say 44, then 45-48 and possibly 46-52 across the 3 Films unless they double film 2 and 3 again.
Doc Brown is age 41, 71, physically 40 mentally 71 and physically 52 mentally 83 in the Films and Christopher Lloyd was 43 and 47 when playing the Role going by Year alone
If Biff doesn't have to be Buff Buff or if he works out I could see Joe Kerry as Biff and I say that because we've seen him as a Good High school kid and seen him as a psycho 23 year old so blend it and he could do a High School Bully.
He's currently 31 turning 32 but if you look at pictures of him at age 18 and pictures of him now at 31 in 2024 there is no difference AT ALL (not even lying double check or look for 19, maybe taller that's it) so he definitely could, that would make him 31-35 in the First, 36-39 in the Second and unless back to back 37-43 in the Third, I mean you'd hope 1 and 2 were back to back then 3 on the second year.
and I fully believe even by 40 if you splashed some make up on this man he'd still look like a realistic 18 year old, if really needed a very small amount of CGI, Biff/Griff/Kid is age 18, 48 and 78 through out the films and Tom F Wilson was 26 and 30 when doing the role and he passed for a 18 year old quite well.
obviously Tom Holland who could realistic pass as a 15 Year old If we wanted but 17 in this case and's 27 turning 28 now so he'd be 27-31, then 28-35 and then 29-39 not counting back to back filming across the Films would be Marty who of course is 17 and 47 and was Played my Micheal J Fox (who was age 24 and 28) the most convincing fake Teen ever literally I'm 17 and while Tom's close Micheal J Fox could of blended in my Class at age 24 as an actual teen
Now for Lorraine I can't of think of many so feel free to help me out but Natalia Dyer (who'd be 29-32, then 30-36 and then 31-40 across the films not counting Back to Backs) or Renee Rapp both able to pass as 18, hot, can do sweet or the older Timeline A Mom snarky sassy but still pretty woman who again basic choices but all I got.
Renee is 24 so she'd be 24-27, then 25-31 then 28-35 when it comes to filming not counting Back to Backs which is Funny cause Leia Tompson was 24 and 28 when filming the 2 films going off year alone so great starting age.
Again need a bit of help with that one cause feels a bit basic
Timothee Chalamet If We are trying to get someone to match up with Tom's age/appearance then he'd be perfect for George Mcfly, I believe from a Mix of Wonka and yes Dune we can see the awkwardness of George but also that anger when Biff goes all rapey.
He'd be 28 turning 29-32 in the First, 30-36 in the Second and 33-40 in the Third not counting Back to Back Filming, and even he looks 18-mid College now so it works with George being 17, 47 and 77.
Crispin Clover was 21 when Filming Back to the Future and would of been 25 in the second.
Again a Bit basic but I think it works.
now if you have any better castings do let me know, what do you think of mine and if Your worried about age, Andrew's set and everyone listed here Andrew listed has aged great and looks/looked/will look 18-21 by 30 anywhere so add in some make up and (cause it's a Reboot of one the best Films ever) Top Quailty CGI you could fix any problems, I mean that's if they don't back to back film the first 2 anyway
but yeah what you think?

Wish I had a list to just copy and paste what I’ve seen. Off the top of my head briefly:
Dear Zachary Cheshire murders ( most recent headline true crime docs) Abducted in plain site The keepers The jinx Cropsey Girl in the picture Something wrong with aunt Diane Family I used to have Stolen youth Natalia grace
I could go on and on
I recently discovered some older hbo docs..
Small town ecstasy
Give me some recs! Maybe something more obscure that’s on YouTube? I feel like I’ve seen most on mainstream platforms

Disclaimer: I'm not actually selling anything. This is just a shitpost of meme merch ideas for each ESC entry. Yes, I should be paying attention in class.
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Welcome to Covfefe's ESC Shop, where you can find the merch of your dreams! Here, we have merch for every, yes, every country participating!
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Albania: You know the honse from the music video? Well, we took a screenshot of the honse and put that screenshot on a coffee mug! Only 9,99.
Armenia: A chicken. Literally just a chicken.
Australia: A framed photo of Electric Fields staring at you. Directly at you.
Austria: Keys to a warehouse near you!
Azerbaijan: A bath bomb designed to give the same relaxing effect as the song. Comes with a lavender scent.
Belgium: A travel-sized jar of gold body glitter.
Croatia: Real milk from the cow Baby Lasagna sold! Food poisoning not included.
Cyprus: A pocket lyre.
Czechia: An octagonal stone pedestal that can fit in your palm! Useful for dollies.
Denmark: A tiny packet of sand. Keep it inside the packet or you are gonna have a bad time.
Estonia: We weren't quite sure what to do with this one, so does authentic warehouse water count?
Finland: One (1) stray thread from the jegg. We only have 131 in stock, so it's first come first serve!
France: Genuine spit collected from the site of the music video! Possibly contaminated with floor dust.
Georgia: We tried to ship actual firefighters, but that turned out to be too expensive, so we're selling custom matches. There's a picture of Nutsa on the box. It's very nice.
Germany: A wind-up Isaak figurine that can run! It almost moves as fast as your grandmother when your dad sets pie on the table. This is first edition, so we're still working out the kinks.
Greece: Slightly bent travel brochures that we acquired while in Athens. Some of them are in English, some are in Greek, and some are in Uzbek. We don't speak Uzbek, but maybe you do.
Iceland: A packet of tissues with Hera's face on it you can use to wipe your eyes when Iceland NQs. The tissues are unpatterned, though.
Ireland: A piece of mulch cursed by Bambie Thug themselves! It might have been collateral.
Israel: Actual raindrops from an actual hurricane! These weren't acquired in Israel because they don't get hurricanes over there as far as we know. These are from Florida, we think.
Italy: Fake hair tied neatly into braids! Much hygienic, very wow.
Latvia: A sip-up hooded sweatshirt that turns you into Dons! Now you can have the bald head of your dreams.
Lithuania: We're still waiting on the merch for this one.
Luxembourg: Real rubber human hands with fingers you can rub along your face just like in the performance video! Complete with painted nails.
Malta: Tiny metal springs! They're close enough to loops, right?
Moldova: A printed t-shirt with Natalia Barbu and co clapping along in their live performance. May or may not have a picture of Joe the intern's hairy knees on the back.
Netherlands: European popcorn! That's what the song was about, right? Europopcorn? ...ok, we may have gotten the title wrong, but now we have all these popcorn kernels we have to get rid of.
Norway: A mini gate you can set on your desk and stare at while your life ticks away!
Poland: We attempted wood carvings of chess towers. You won't get splinters, we promise.
Portugal: Another coffee mug, this one with a picture of Iolanda singing. It's a little blurry because Steve took it.
San Marino: Pink and black tissue paper. Now you can give someone a birthday present that matches Megara. Also, we do gift-wrapping.
Serbia: Because we live in fear of the Serbian fans angry their favorite didn't win, we're just selling plastic lobsters like we did last year.
Slovenia: What's more dramatic than t-shirts that say VERONIKAAAAA in comic sans? A lot of things? Well, too late, that's what we're selling.
Spain: We just took screenshots of that fox animoji thing on our apple phones and put them on socks. You can't say no to socks!
Sweden: We forgot.
Switzerland: A picture of the code of our website, which is completely and utterly broken. We don't know how to fix it.
Ukraine: Candles with pictures of the artists singing at the national final performance! The candle is white and unscented. It'll burn, we think.
United Kingdom: Being dizzy isn't good. You should take medicine for that, old sport.

First of all, forgive me if people are over the drama and all that but I literally just learned about all this so I really needed to vent to like minded people. (That's what happens when you have trouble sleeping on Sunday nights.) I've been a fan of OWN/ITN since it started, I loved it immediately, especially Ellyn. It was the pandemic so I also got into TCO in earnest as well during 2020/2021. And it was great, not gonna lie.
As for the Fest drama, I missed all of it mostly because I'm one of those people who jumps around with podcasts because I like to binge and take breaks so I can listen to a bunch of episodes. Also I never really gave a shit about Obsessed Fest. I remember looking up the info about it out of pure curiosity and frankly it was of no interest to me, but to each their own and people can spend money however they want, not my business, lol.
ANYWAY, just the other day I saw the picture of E&J with the ITN ad in Times Sq. (Amazing and I am so happy for them!) WELL that lead me down the rabbit hole of what happened with the TikTok thing, the James Renner article, the incident at Obsessed Fest '23, the Youtube video with Ellyn and Radia, et al explaining everything that happened, etc. I'm here for the drama of all this stuff and the tea, but ultimately I am so sad and angry that a decades long friendship ended because of Patrick's pettiness and from what I've learned...greed. It is just so disappointing because I really liked Patrick (Gillian is another story because she's become a little much over the years and I've learned I'm not alone in this opinion) and thought he was a good guy. I really, truly liked listening to him and Ellyn on OWD. When I heard he had written a book I 100% considered buying it...well I just removed it from my GoodReads list; many reviews said it wasn't worth the time anyway. Another interesting thing was that I was actually considering joining the TCO Patreon again (I only was a patron for a brief period, again around the pandemic) because they mentioned that they were doing all of Natalia Grace. THAT AIN'T HAPPENING NOW. P&G (and Steve as well) can go pound sand.
In conclusion, I just wanted to say after learning all of this information, I'm BEYOND HAPPY that E&J are on there own and that they are on the right side of history. From what I've learned, it shows me that E&J are just the nicest people and genuinely care about their fans. Not to mention Radia and all the others that have decided to go their own way and separate themselves from what seems to be nothing short of a tyrant (looking at you Pat).
Thanks for reading my rant. Long live ITN!