Sayings to a new niece

I am a survivor since 2021, I bought in as soon as I could afterthe buy button was removed. What excited me was thought of hedge funds and manipulators meeting their demise. I wanted a new system that works for everyone, a total paradigm shift in how economies SHOULD work, for people to be free from corporate slavery and having their savings and labour stolen. That is why I hold. Sure I lost faith sometimes but it was always a case of never sell, ride it to zero if needed. As my reddit name says "reclaimitall"

I'm helping my brother shop for a new 2-in-1 laptop and a lot of them are Intel Iris Xe, AMD Vega 7, Nvidia 3050 (laptop), and of course Intel "Integrated" Arc Graphics.
Where does integrated Arc stack up against other GPUs? I've tried using userbenchmark for comparisons but there's 4 Arc cards on there. How do you know what you're getting when it just says integrated Arc graphics? I'm kinda at a loss and not sure what to tell him.
My gut wants to go with Nvida 3050 or 4050s because it's a known quantity to me. But Arc is new and in some of the laptops with better features, so I'd want to be sure.
This is for work/some 3D modeling (CAD) software. Not Gaming lol
TL;DR - Is Integrated Intel Arc better than Nvidia 3050/4050 laptop cards?

Hi everyone,
I'm in need of some legal advice regarding a joint tenancy situation gone awry. Here's the rundown:
Back in March, I moved in with a friend under a joint tenancy agreement. Everything seemed fine initially, but things took a turn when my roommate started stealing my belongings, being anti-social (in an area with families) and failing to pay rent and bills on time. Matters escalated when her mother was brought into the situation to intimidate me in our own home, and I was cornered and verbally abused. I had to run out of the house and her mother came looking for me whilst I hid in a side street. It was a pretty triggering event for me.
Feeling unsafe, I later confronted her about her actions and expressed my concerns. She consistently began to harass me over the subsequent weeks, forcing me to block her.
Upon returning home from work one day, I discovered that she had packed up her belongings and left, abandoning her responsibilities without notice. Today she sent me a message saying I forced her to move out — this isn’t true, I initially approached her asking for a calm conversation to see whether she can afford/should continue to live here.
Now, I find myself in a difficult position. As the direct debit for rent comes out of my account, I am solely responsible for paying the rent and bills, despite her share being outstanding. This has put me in arrears, impacted my mental well-being, and caused financial strain.
I've already found a new sharer to move in, but I'm left wondering what legal recourse I have against my former roommate. Can I sue her for her portion of the unpaid rent and bills? How can I recover the financial losses incurred due to her actions?
The agency and landlord have been very accommodating, but now I’m scared about being evicted, and bringing the new flatmate into this mess.
Any advice or insights would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

I haven’t been on the job for very long. Just started really. It’s my first job ever. I often chat with friends and family about it and what its challenges are.
I know there are various things that change the difficulty of a cc job (manager, policies etc).
If you were to rank an average cc job in a list by difficultly where would you put it?
I haven’t worked any other real jobs so I can’t compare difficulty level.
I’ve only done a minor amount of physical work in a farm like setting and I can say it was definitely harder on the body but no where near as close to the mental exhaustion cc work makes me feel.
I often feel that it sucks out my will to experience new things in life and feels like I’m stuck in an endless loop of picking up and ending a call.
It’s very rare for me to feel like I’m doing something that matters in this job. I’m only ever happy when I refund people’s money (when they deserve it) and I see how their day is made by that.

Am I too much?
My boyfriend and I are new. We’ve been “official” for two months now and are quite serious. We’ve discussed the word love, but haven’t really put it out there. He has stated several times that he believes I’m in love with him but that he believes I’m holding it back to protect myself. He says I should let them out. I’ve repeatedly told him I’m nervous to do so because I’m not trying to rush this already fast paced relationship and that I don’t want my feelings to be vocalized and he not feel the same way. I told him I want to make sure my feelings are safe first, and he insists that they are with him. Just this weekend, he said “what if something happened to me and you never told me?” That statement stayed in my head during the entire scenario I’m writing about.
His wife passed almost a year ago, and since we met, he insists he’s ready to move forward in life. We talk about the future, but I’ve been a bit wary because I know this is all new to him. He is an amazing man and treats me wonderfully.
He’s 56 and I’m 45 but we live about 50ish miles from one another. We make a point to see each other as much as possible. We also make a point to communicate with one another every. Single. Day. We talk every morning before work, text throughout our day, and stay on the phone several hours at night. The only time we break this routine is when one of us is out of town or away visiting family, but we discuss that ahead of time.
This weekend, he came to my hometown, and we spent an amazing weekend together. We had the best time. At the end of the weekend, we both went home, (this was maybe 10am) but I never heard of he made it home safely. I texted him around 1 just to ask. Never heard a word. Then texted around 5pm to let him know I was going to a friend’s house and would call him when I got back home. Told him I hope his day was going well. We usually do check in texts when we know we will be unavailable.
I get home that night around 10pm and ask him to just please let me know if he’s ok. I then call but it goes straight to voicemail. Then again around 12am to let him know I’m worried. I go to bed.
I wake up around 6 am and see no missing calls or messages, so I call him. Straight to voicemail again, so now I’m worried. I go to work and still hear nothing from him, so around 9:30am (24 hours later), I call back. Same thing. This is very unlike him, and I start to panic.
What would you do at this point? I really hesitate doing everything else next, but I’m worried. I call his job to give him a message to contact me. I’m ready to leave it at that and wait. I don’t have his number memorized, so I’m sure with a dead phone that he doesn’t know mine. His job calls me back around 11am and says “ma’am. You called early to deliver a message to ———. Well, I’m calling you back to let you know that ——— isn’t here for us to deliver the message. I definitely was not expecting that and my fear sets in. That was a strange phone call to me.
I’m worried he’s hurt, and especially with not hearing a peep from him for over 24 hours, I leave work early around 12pm and head his way. I get to his house, and he’s not there. I go to his job next, but I don’t go in. Instead, I call a second time. I speak with the same person, and she asks my relation. I tell him I’m her girlfriend. She pauses and says “I’m not supposed to say anything, but I’ll just say this. His family knows what’s going on with him.” I tell her thank you then hang up.
To me, that means something happened. So I go to his mom’s house. Again, I am doubting all of my actions, but at this point, I’m thinking he’s hurt. We are new and haven’t introduced one another to family other than one person. Outside of our own information and the names of our jobs, we don’t have contact info for one another, so I’m unsure what to do during all of this. I decide I’d rather be the crazy lady that did too much than sit back and not know what happened.
So, I’ve been to his mom’s house but never inside. The one time I went, it was late at night and he had to pick something up, and I didn’t want to meet her for the first time in that manner. I have met his sister briefly before. So, I’m at his mom’s house and knock on the door. I explain what’s happening and she invites me in. She does not know who I am, but that’s not unusual. If the situation were reversed, my parents would not know who he is either. She tells me he is in the hospital and that she was there earlier and he should be home later. She told me what happened which is concerning but fits with what he’s told me about his medical history.
She gives me a different phone number for him. She says he had to get another phone the day before because he cracked the one with the number I have. I call it and it just rings. Then I ask the hospital number. She doesn’t give it to me (again, I don’t blame her) but tells me the hospital name and that the system at the hospital is down.
I go to the hospital. The system is down. I ask information, and they say something about ransomeware. After a while of asking, I leave and go sit somewhere to wait. I’m praying he will call me. I text the number his mom gave me and later the number calls back, rings once then hangs up. I call it back, rings then voicemail.
After about 3 hours after getting that number from his mom, the number calls me back. It’s him, and he’s pissed. He says I did too much. He’s mad I called his job because he doesn’t want them in his business. He says he could see if it was two or three days but not one. I told him something felt off and it turns out I was right. He was in the hospital. He asked why I did it all and I told him because he went all outside of our routine in a big way. He told me we don’t have a pattern and not to look for one. We definitely have a pattern. We even talked about it this weekend and I told him how much I love his consistency. I apologized if I overstepped and said I thought we were serious enough for our actions. He said we are that serious but proceeds to say I did too much. He wouldn’t let me come to the hospital to see him and said he needed some uninterrupted time to himself so I went home. I didn’t even respond and I don’t plan to. I feel like I should just step alllllllll the way back. I also think he’s panicking because he’s only used to being loved by his late wife.
I do love this man, but it feels like he took all that love he said he saw and wanted and threw it back in my face. I’ve made it clear that I’m intense. I would have done the same had it been my parents, my kids, siblings, friends, etc. when we talk again, I know I won’t be the same. I don’t trust him with my feelings anymore.
We haven’t talked since. I’m sure he’s doubting me because I’m surely doubting him. Not once did he acknowledge what I went through to check on him. And he wasn’t trying to listen. I told him I’m happy he’s ok but I listened to my intuition which said he wasn’t and it was right. He said don’t listen to that. I told him that had I heard from him just once that he was ok, none of this would have ever happened. Are my intentions even important here?
I know my actions are a lot and this is a lot to read, so if you’ve made it this far, thank you.
Am I crazy? What would you have done? What should I have done? Do you think this is salvageable?

I'd like to find someone who captivates me. Someone who I can talk with effortlessly. I want to meet a person who I can include in my daily tasks, and talk with throughout the day. I just want to find someone I can be open with. Platonic conversation or romance. Whatever you are looking for, don't hesitate to message me. I hope to hear from you.
I love a number of things, and hate very little. I'm fairly open to trying new things, but some of the things I enjoy are as follows. I love the outdoors. I've never been camping, but I would like to try it with someone some day. I also love to fish. I mostly fish salt water. I do occasionally fish freshwater though. I like to check out new spots around me, but I mostly fish on the beach. Do you like to fish? What are some of your favorite places to go?
I also enjoy the shooting sports. I primarily target shoot. I take part in a little bit of everything, including rifle, pistol and shotgun. It would be nice to find someone who is into shooting or would like to learn/become more familiar. If you shoot, what do you like to shoot mostly? What's been your favorite gun to shoot so far?
PC games are also a enjoyable pastime for me. I have a variety of games, most of which are on Steam. I have other games on various other stores/services. I enjoy a wide variety of different kind of games, so I'm sure we can find something to play together if you game. What are some of your all time favorite games? What are you currently grinding on that you can't put down? One hobby I discovered later on in life is Magic the Gathering. I play both online on MtG Arena, and with physical cards. Magic has become something I am particularly fond of. Do you play any kind of card/table top games? What's been your favorite so far? If you play Magic, what are some of your favorite deck themes?
Music has always been a part of my life. My tastes are varied, ranging from country, death and black metal, electronic, classic rock, folk, pop punk, and more. Do you have a favorite band? What has been your favorite concert you've been to?
I'm honestly an ambivert. I enjoy doing things outside, as well as spending time indoors. I can veg out all day under the covers curled up in my bed, or I can take a trip somewhere and experience something new. I think my personality is a mix of the best of both worlds. What would the perfect day consist of for you?
As far as my personality is concerned, I would say I am fairly relaxed and laid back. I feel like I am somewhere in the middle between loud and excitable, and shy and quiet. Around people I don't know, I tend to be fairly quiet and to myself. In the company of someone who I am close with, I am more open and free. Do you open right up to people, or does it take a while to become comfortable with someone new?
All I hope for is a connection. It could be platonic, or it could blossom into romance, and commitment. I'm not putting a limit on what I am looking for.
With the prior being said, I am single. I may be interested in changing that with the right person. The idea of commitment excites me. Monogamy is appealing to me. Do you feel satisfied with your social life? What kind of connection are you looking for?
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I appreciate it. I hope you can identify with something I wrote. If you do, please reach out.
P.S. Please feel free to check my post history, and check out a few pictures of my cat if you would like.

I've played tarkov since 2017 ( a year after it's release) and a few things I'd like to note. First I'm not going to mention the obvious with the new edition.
To start, I hate this new Era of "Early Access" titles, when it's really just an excuse to not produce the game at the start. Dayz is not exception. If you were to tell me in 2017 that tarkov would not be in 1.0 I would have waited to buy. I have 1500 hours so it's been fun, but the fact that they do "major" changes every year vs wipe is so pointless. Since you get no real rewards for playing each wipe or even reaching kappa, the next wipe feels stale. Sure we got 3 new maps in the past 5 years but they've been unrunnable and not fun to learn. Adding landmines and other zones to new maps is just frustrating when they are in the middle of the map. When "Early Access" is thrown around I usually think that they are experimenting and trying to find and fix what works best. BSG however makes very tiny changes and will brandish them as game breaking. Each year I've played, audio, performance, and cheating have not only been a problem but all seemed to get worse as new content arrives. The rapid changes they are making because of the new failure they brought is how the game should of been handled to begin with. IMO I feel like having the same quests (with the exception of a FEW new ones) gets boring. For the people who haven't gotten kappa, it's fun getting until you've gotten it once or twice then it just feels stale, kinda like beating a story game a few times. If they have 3 separate quest lines, COMPLETELY different containing 0 quests from each similar, per wipe of the year (3 wipes usually per year). I feel like a game that's been out for 8+ years should of been out of Early Access years ago.
I also feel that edge of darkness should of gone away about 4 years ago. Before people freak, I say this because they kept it for greed, they could of added the unheard edition and been fine (as long as what was included was given to eod). The reason I think EoD should of been removed earlier than now is that too many have it. I honestly forgot about the custom name tag when buying it, and thought it was just a bug or player scav when I got killed by a white tag. It was never after I'd see white tags, and with 1500h that's saying something. EoD should of been limited, usually a "limited" product doesn't last 8 years.... unless it's Baja blast. They could of released the more expensive version and given EoD holders the items in it, EoD however was so broken, if you played tarkov frequently you had to have it. Money and guns don't matter from it, but a lvl 4 stash and gamma case makes a huge difference, and I'd still argue there are less than 100 people that have gotten Kappa that haven't owned EoD.
Arena is the last thing I wanna talk about, I know I got a large wall of text. BSG was so upset about arena doing bad they felt the need to make another cash grab with UHE. Arena however could of and CAN still be fixed easily. First remove all the maps in it now. Second add snips from maps similar hlto how CSGO did their 2v2 maps where they are fractions of other maps. Snips from maps like customs, maybe making it a Dorms fight, or for bigger team battles maybe even sawmill from woods. This would be the absolute cheapest way to get players to play, while still having features like voip. Of course the biggest change and most important, is stop trying to be CS or valorant. We don't need a buy system with money yatatat that's not what Arena needs. I'm fine with TDM and I enjoyed the 2v2 3v3 5v5 tournament mode but stop with the money to items modes. Also important, the weapons, armor, ammo etc... I hate what I'm about to say, but this feature needs to be copied from Call of Duty. What I mean is that you can make custom loadouts with whatever you want. Yes I get that it would issue a meta to the game but a system like this where armor and ammo stay at mid tier would work way better than play the game for 50h they you get to get a dusk cover on your ak. Another system, which is the one I want more, is one that compares to both Arena and Regular. Guns, ammo, armor, etc... pull directly from your stash, if it's tdm you'd keep the weapon and total ammo you had per death, where as a more hardcore version would be you can die and get looted per round and lose/gain gear giving more or less incentive to the quality of gear brought. There could be quest and other reqards that would give some help towards your Tarkov Regular character such as money and gear. This would give a boost to Early game and players not familiar with active combat. With familiar maps and situations relative to the real game, this would 100% give people a reason to buy Arena. But similar to other games the way to prevent fall off of the game even with changes, is a reward system that bsg can control. Rewards like winning a tournament gives you permanent clothing or gives you a random item like scav junk case does in the hideout. With rewards and a rotation on maps in the pool Arena would easily be playable.
Thanks for reading this wall of text, these are a few changes I think if implemented Tarkov would have reason to play and not just play until 30 and quit which is what the average level people stop at per wipe, and also give reason to play Arena.

Apologies if this gets long-winded. Up until last month I was a journalist covering anime and manga, so I think I just have to get some words out of my system. Also, and obviously: Spoilers for Dress Up Darling to its current chapters, as well as the manga/anime One Week Friends.
I really enjoyed reading the recent posts from everyone on the analysis regarding chapter 100, if it feels like the book has lost its momentum, how the Comiket arc has made everyone feel, and so on. As someone that came to SBD/DUD via the anime but has dove into the manga heavy during the lull, it's refreshing to see a community taking an introspective look at the story, its arc, and the tug-of-war that seems to go on in regards to romance story versus cosplay tale.
But I also think that, by and large, falling into and caring too much about the "Will They/Won't They" of the story is a trap, and one that, if obsessed over for too long, inevitably leads to feeling let down by the time this story hits its conclusion.
On that note, let's talk about One Week Friends.
Initially released in 2012, Isshūkan Friends shares a lot of DNA with Dress-Up Darling. Both Square Enix joints, the two feature a very similar two-character lead romance dynamic. OWF is the story of Hase, a nervous high school boy who has a massive crush on his seemingly-ice queen class mate, Kaori. Taking a chance one day, he declares to her that he wants to be friends. However, she rejects him almost immediately. He comes to find that it wasn't because she doesn't want friends, but that she suffers from a condition that causes her memories to reset after a week. So, as a protective measure for herself, she just lives a life of stagnation--never making friends, never changing anything. At least until Hase comes around.
The story from there is familiar to Dress-Up Darling, in that a lot of the romantic tension comes from the perspectives of our two leads, as well as the "when are they going to get together?" of it all. In this case, the two sources of tension are as follows:
Kaori: Is entering into a friendship or having romantic feelings in her state fair to the other person? How does it affect her personally to have those feelings but only remember them through a journal--though her memory does begin to improve slightly over time. Is she worthy or friendship or love?
Hase: At a point, he places Kaori on a bit of a pedestal because he's been the only one to reach out to and make progress with this friendless girl. However, as their friend group grows and she becomes a more normal and stable person, he begins to resent not only losing this feeling of specialness, but the fact that he's feeling that way at all--no longer feeling like he's worthy of being there for her.
The parallels to Dress-Up Darling and the most recent stretch of the manga are apparent, as heartbreaking as its been to watching Marin and Gojo fumble in the metaphorical dark in that way that teen romance does so well. For Marin, she's in love with a boy that, at times feels distant, or that his main focus is the work. She's hesitated to confess her feelings time and again, both for the sake of comedy but also just because she's a teenager, and that kind of thing is hard for anyone to confess. She keeps hoping to create situations--some magical moment--where things fall into place and they both confess their true feelings, but circumstances and fate have kind of interfered to that point. However, she knows he's the only person in her life that's ever saw her for who she really is, and that's something she probably feels disconnected from as she approaches the precipice of cosplay stardom and feels more disconnected from Gojo than ever.
Meanwhile, Gojo has a similar issue to Hase in One Week Friends: He's placed this girl on a pedestal. A perfect doll that he isn't worthy of. So, he did the only thing he could ever do: Focus on the work and trying to show he cares through supporting her. However, he's hit the end road of that path, with 'Princess' now seen by the work at Comiket and feeling like, to him, that Marin has outgrown him. He feels unworthy of telling her how he feels.
And yes, both of them are idiots, but that's why we love stories like this in manga and anime.
In the case of One Week Friends, I always felt like that story somewhat fumbled the ball. The anime and the first run of the manga end on a very saccharine, melodramatic note. The two leads have a falling out, but then a memorable reunion on new year's day where they both somewhat confess their feelings. A lot of fans felt left out in the cold that the series didn't end in a full-blown confirmation of love--or even a kiss, but thems the breaks sometimes.
In the case of Dress-Up Darling, I think the takeaway to learn from is that the big, apex moment for this story is inevitably going to be the confession of love. It's what drew the most people into the story and thing that everyone on this sub is obviously waiting for. However, we really don't know if that's the way the mangaka views it, nor if that's the focus.
As insane as that feels to say. After all, what are we doing here if not waiting for Marin and Gojo to figure things out, stop being dumb, and just say how they feel?
Whether or not Dress-Up Darling nails the landing is going to completely depend on that moment. However, I remain optimistic. In a perfect world, I'd want the story to end with that confession finally happening: Marin realizing she needs to go after the things she wants and that the thing that kept her going all this time wasn't the finished product of the cosplay, but the memories made along the way. For Gojo, he needs to stop treating Marin like another hina doll--something to be placed up on a shelf and put behind a glass case, un approachable and only deserving of love from afar. He has to take agency in his own life and needs.
Personally, I could think of nothing better than this series ending with that confession happening and the last chapter detailing how Marin wants to do a cosplay of a traditional Hina Doll, making Gojo think its for an upcoming event. They work together as normal on it, the process and journey being the important part--with the final scene being them getting her ready in his room as always, with Gojo finally asking what the event is for. She responds, fully dressed as that thing Gojo has so admired for the longest time, that the event is just for him, and it always will be. Cut to that big two-page spread shot smile of her, but this time in Hina Doll garb.
Anyways, I'm going back to work.

original setting by Michael McNeill
Myrla sat at one of the tables in the food court area of Nantrella Station. The Greylin’s crew had discovered several ships docked with family members on board and this had led to a rather impressively large impromptu family reunion with several dozen kwonese spacers gathered up in one space.
She was sitting slouched over the table, the only human in a sea of furry ratfolk, nursing her drink. It was a chocaf that one of the family from another ship had spiked with something s/he said was an intoxicant that she would enjoy. Myrla wasn’t sure if it was intoxicating, but it did add a pleasant richness to the drink and it warmed her in a way chocaf didn’t normally do.
She was reaching the end of her drink and was starting to wonder if she should try to find the kwonese who had spiked her drink to ask for a second round when she realized some of her crewmates nearby were talking about her. She hadn’t been listening, really, her mind just floating along in the comfortable feel of the “group-snuggle” as they called it, so she wasn’t sure what was going on.
After a few seconds of focusing on the conversation, she realized they were bragging about her. That was when one of them turned to her, dragging her into the conversation.
“Yah, see! This Myrla, she top stevedore, better than ya porter drone!” Nellin, one of the crew-family she had little interaction with other than when it was time to hustle cargo, had grabbed her by the sleeve and was tugging her into a small cluster of kwonese sitting around one of the tables. She only recognized one other face as being part of the Greylin crew. Nellin served as the ship’s load-master and chief stevedore, so she assumed the others in the group likely held similar positions on their own ships.
Myrla hoisted her cup in greeting, a lopsided smile on her face. Then she realized she did know another of the faces in the group – the cousin who had spiked her chocaf. Grinning, she pulled her arm free of Nellin’s grip and pointed to him then to her almost empty cup. “I’m going to need some more of that, cousin.”
This set off titters of laughter around the crew as the kwonese in question hauled out a silver flask from his vest pocket. “Powerful stuff, yah!” He made smacking sounds as he fixed her another chocaf from the table’s dispenser. “Makin’ it on the Yeongja, we do. Best you find.”
She drained her first cup and picked up the second. If it was an intoxicant, it was either incredibly weak or it was so smooth that it would hit her like a sledgehammer later. Either way, it was a delightful pairing with the bitterness of the chocaf. She took a sip of the fresh drink, smiling as the warmth seeped into her. The group shuffled around to make a spot for her to sit.
One of the others, a grizzled older kwonese, looked at her one eyebrow raised. “Nellin say you top stevedore. Say you outwork drone. Been load-master on Yeongja ten year and four more now on /San Matteo/. Not seeing that happen yet.”
She looked over Nellin and raised her cup in his direction. “[Samchun ]()[[MM1]](#_msocom_1) has never voiced displeasure with my work. If he wishes to say I work harder than a cargo drone, that is his choice.”
Her comment brought hoots of laughter from around the table. Out-bragging in a family was something of a sport with the kwonese and diplomatically saying they were boasting without calling them a liar was an integral part of the game, even better if you were doing so in support of them.
“Well-saying, [olinee]()[[MM2]](#_msocom_2) .” The grizzled cargo-chief crinkled his snout and raised his glass at her. “But now chincheog making me curious. Never seeing such a thing not being the same as impossible thing.” He paused to scratch his whiskers. “Not working much with your kind, true, so never seeing how much you can do.” Several of the group lightly slapped the tabletop and looked in her direction.
She glanced down at Nellin, seeing his whiskers twitching. His body language was just like it would be if they were playing cards and he were holding a winning hand, waiting on the pool to grow. Long seconds passed before the one she’d mentally dubbed “Mister Flask” leaned in.
“Let’s make it interesting.”
And there it was. Cred-chips started hitting the table and in moments, crew from all the ships were aware of the betting taking place. She sat, sipping her doctored chocaf, as the kwonese around her seemed to turn into a boiling pool of sleek fur and whiskers. Across the table, “Mister Flask” raised his cup to her … and winked.
She grinned back at him, returning the gesture. Now what was that all about?
One of the twins – probably Mikkeulon, from the scent – saw the exchange and leaned close to her. “Oh-ho! You catching Peulla’s eye, then! Good choice, but he wild.”
Myrla sputtered into her cup, but before she could say anything, the twin was gone. Then Nellin leaned in close. “You got this, girlee. Seen you move more easy. Just be going slow and easy and Greylin family got drinks for all station-time, ya.”
Myrla smiled to herself, shaking her head. The cargo-master may have said the Greylin’s crew would have all their drinks covered during their port-time, but given the kwonese need for these family get-togethers, “hajog-poog” they called them, every kwonese on the station would be regular visitors to the Greylin. The betting was just the method they used to pick which ship the party was held on.

It wasn’t long before the entire party had relocated to the docks where San Matteo was set to disgorge its cargo. The grizzled cargo-master, who Myrla now knew to be named Tostiklin, had one of the enormous cargo bays set up for the impromptu competition. She’d sent Orak off to the /Greylin/ to retrieve her backpack, leading to a humorous scene as the young kwonese came running into the docking area dragging the pack that was easily as large as he was. She stripped away the actual pack and her possessions that it held, leaving just the pack-frame. She tasked Orak with perching on the pack itself, to make sure it didn’t get lost in the excitement.
She walked over to the small cluster of cargo-masters and hefted her packframe. “I assume I’m allowed to use a cargo rack, since the drone has one?” She watched as several of them suppressed snickers and Tostiklin wrinkled his snout in amusement.
He waved absently. “Yahyey, of course! Wanting a fair run, we.” He motioned the cargo drone over, which stood almost twice as tall as its crewmates. The crowd settled down to a low murmur as the cargo master addressed the two. “This being the rules. Moving cargo for one minute, as much as you can, ya. No helping from others. No interfering with other stevedore. Move you stack from where it is to indicated position.” He pointed to a pair of chalked squares some thirty feet away from the initial stacks. “Is good?”
The drone’s head rotated from the kwonese to Myrla to the two stacks of cargo containers and back. “I to compete against this gentlebeing? Moving cargo like normal work?”
“Yes, Ledo.”
The drone dipped its head. “Understood but I do not understand why.”
Myrla leaned close to the drone. “They gambling on us. Who can shift more.”
The drone tipped its expressionless face first to one side then to the other while looking at her, a low whir of servos barely audible. Then it looked toward the group of kwonese for a moment. “Oh. Oh. Then … perhaps I should apologize now?”
Myrla grinned. “Apologize for what?”
“I am made to shift significant amounts of cargo. You do not appear to be. I shall apologize now for embarrassing you in front of your shipmates.”
Myrla laughed and patted the drone on its arm. “It’s all in fun, Ledo. I won’t be embarrassed.”
She could detect a faint note of smugness in the mechanical’s speech. “Very well. Then let us proceed.”
“Geebees, are clear on rules?” Myrla and Ledo both indicated their assent. “Then please stand by cargo.”
When they had taken their places, Tostiklin pulled a whistle from his pocket and blew on it. Myrla and Ledo began quickly assembling their loads. Remembering Nellin’s admonition, she carefully restricted her load, adding two containers more to hers than the drone loaded onto itself. It was enough weight to slow her down considerably, but she could still keep up with Ledo without straining.
Together, they dropped their cargo loads inside their assigned squares and Myrla fought the urge to race ahead of the drone, keeping pace with it instead. Twice more the cycle repeated itself, with Myrla carrying just enough extra to stay ahead in the count.
When the whistle blew a second time, the gathered cargo-masters counted the crates in each stack. Tostiklin’s face was a study in surprise as he counted Myrla’s stack again.
He looked at Nellin. “Your stevedore has clearly won. By a mere six crates, but she has won.” The kwonese erupted into cheers and groans, depending on the amount of credits they had won or lost. Tostiklin held up a hand and the crowd quieted down. “But you say she outwork drone. Win by six is much as keep up with drone.”
The crowd inhaled as a whole. /San Matteo/’s cargo chief was treading the fine line of being rude, almost accusing Nellin of lying. The older kwonese narrowed his eyes, looking for at Nellin, then Myrla, then at the crowd. “I like very much to be seeing her truly outwork drone. What is prize money?” One of the younger cargo-masters gave him the figure. “I say offering own creds to match that, double or nothing.”
The crowd went wild, the line of propriety saved. Myrla doubted Nellin had that sort of funds available, based on his change in body language. From behind her, she heard a female kwonese start chanting, “Match! Match!” She and Nellin turned to look, seeing Captain Wanniv shaking her fist in the air. In seconds, all the /Greylin/’s crew was chanting with her.
“Match! Match! Match!”
Nellin looked at her, his nervousness evident, even though things were going exactly like he’d told her they would. She winked at him and gave him a quick nod.
His bearing changed imperceptibly as he turned back to Tostiklin. “Yahyey, chincheog. You be seeing truth.”
Ban Baekui had sidled up beside her, patting her arm. “Time be taking off the governor, ya.”
She nodded absently, her gaze wandering around the room, watching as dozens of groupings indicated the level of betting taking place. “Got your bets made, chief?”
“Already making creds plenty. This to be sheer kwaja!”
She looked down at him, grinning. “The captain plays cards with Nellin, doesn’t she?”
Ban gave her a curious tilt of his head. “Frequently. Why you ask?”
Myrla nodded to herself, looking around again. “She backed him up at the perfect time. This gonna bring some notoriety to the Greylin. And that converts to …” She looked back at the ship’s lead mechanic, grinning broadly.
“Jobs. Bigger and better.” Ban nodded, grinning back. “Not playing cards with you, girlee. Best getting ready, then.”
Ban faded back into the crowd, leaving her with Nellin. “You good with this? Tossi want longer timeframe for this.”
Myrla dropped to one knee, making it so she had to look up slightly at the cargo master. “I need some advice, chief.” Nellin blinked in surprise at the abrupt change in the situation. When he signaled his assent, she continued. “There’s more going on than what I’m seeing. You just used a blood-kin name for him. The captain backed you up publicly under his challenge, so she’s now tied the two of you together, your win is now her win, and your loss her loss. Tostiklin almost called you a liar in front of everyone, but pulled it out by upping the bet.” She scanned the crowd, seeing several non-kwonese beginning to intermingle. “And that is interesting. More geebees are joining the party. And those aren’t spacers.” Her eyes narrowed. “Those are brokers – I recognize two of them.”
Nellin wrung his hands, a faint tang of nervousness coloring his odor. “Is … is complicated.”
“Not from my end, chief. Tostiklin wants to see how hard I can work, because he wants to learn more about my people and is willing to pay for the privilege. And he wants to see me lose to gloat…” She looked at Nellin as he started squirming again. “He doesn’t want me to lose.” She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “Who is he related to by blood on the Greylin?”
“He brother to captain’s father…” Myrla’s eyes lit up in sudden understanding. “…and is brother to my mother’s mother.”
Myrla’s jaw dropped slightly as several puzzle pieces clicked into place. “He … he doesn’t want us to fail at all. He’s loaning the captain operating money as well as boosting the ship’s reputation.”
Nellin put his hands out to shush her. “Not be saying this!”
The good side of her mouth pulled up in a smile. “Don’t worry, not a word. Plus, by challenging you like this, you gain even more credibility with the family after I smoke that presumptuous cargo drone at his own game. You gain a reputation for understating how good something is.”
“See … is complicated.”
“Chief, go make your personal bets. This run is about to get interesting.”
The next ten minutes was a flurry of action as bets were made and new spectators arrived from stationside. At one point, Peulla drifted by, pressing another cup of that deliciously spiked chocaf into her hand with a wink. Soon, the cargo masters were huddled up again.
Tostiklin had found a voice amplifier somewhere, letting his voice be heard over the noises of the much-larger crowd. “We be setting round two. Nellin, loadmaster of the Greylin Bostlin, say he crewmate outwork cargo drone. We see earlier this geebee do that.” He indicated Myrla and she waved at the crowd, to delighted cheers from more than just her shipmates. “I say she barely beat cargo drone and I ask for a rematch. I offer double to see she truly outwork drone!” The crowd roared excitedly. “I ask to see geebee outwork drone and just minutes not enough. I ask for one whole hour!”
The crowd erupted into a frenzy and Myrla blinked in confusion. Nobody mentioned hauling cargo for an hour, she thought.
Captain Wanniv had slipped up beside her. “Just another day on the docks, ya?”
Turning to the captain with a smile, she said, “Using my own words against me as inspiration? I’m … well, I don’t guess I’m shocked. And yes, I’m good for it.”
“Is good. All this good.”
Myrla gave the captain a wink. “I love how they brought in some of the local cargo brokers and the Dockworker’s Guild to watch. San Matteo is a respected crew. To see them give the Greylin respect will carry weight later.”
The captain’s eyes crinkled. “I have no idea what you mean.”
Finally, the crowd calmed down again. Siezing the moment, Myrla stepped forward to address the Matteo’s cargo-master. “Samchun, it seems to me that all of our competition is being done handling cargo from the San Matteo. If we are unloading cargo, then am I working for you? And, if I am working, then as a member of the Stevedore and Dockworker’s Guild, I have to be paid or I lose my license. And I cannot bet on myself.”
The crowd fell to a dead silence as Tostiklin’s eyebrows rose slowly, first one then the other.
“FAIR!” Someone in the crowd shouted.
Tostiklin glanced in the direction of the speaker and turned back to Myrla, nodding slowly. “Wisdom speaks.” A grin slowly spread across his face. “I will pay you one hour with a bonus in proportional to how well you outwork the drone.”
Myrla nodded. “I accept these terms and your grace in offering them.” This brought a round of applause from the crowd.
“Again! This being the rules! Moving cargo for one hour, as much as you can, ya. No helping from others. No interfering with other stevedore. Move you stack from where it is to indicated platform.” He pointed to a pair of conveyor platforms some thirty feet away from the initial stacks. “Is good?”
Both workers gave their assent.
“Geebees, to your starting places!” Again, a blast from the whistle signaled the start of the competition. Both fell to their task and worked steadily, but Myrla thought it looked as though the drone knew it had already been beaten. For every stack of crates it moved, she moved twice as many. When it tried to match her volume, its speed dropped off significantly to the sound of overloaded drive motors.
They were well and thoroughly inside the cargo bay of the /San Matteo/ and the crowd was only able to keep up by watching on a series of holoscreens that had been set up for the purpose. True to Bae’s request, she “pulled the governors off,” falling into her work-trance, letting the crates guide her flow. The conveyor platforms advanced with them, never more than thirty feet away, making the job a bit less arduous. The cargo-master group was inside with them, as well, and Myrla shut them out by treating them like she did any other client who hung out to watch her work.
She was so deep into her work that the whistle caught her by surprise and Nellin had to physically intervene to get her attention.
“Is good, girlee. We done it. YOU done it.”
Myrla walked out of the cargo hold, blinking and shaking her head, trying to get refocused on where she was. Then she realized the entire hajog was chanting her name. Bae and Wanniv were waiting on her at the bay-door. Bae handed her a bottle of water and Wanniv grabbed Myrla’s free hand in both of hers. “You best lucky charm!” As the crowd caught sight of her, the chant broke into a wordless cheer that threatened to overwhelm her.
Finally, the cargo-masters made their counts and conferred together with a lot of nodding and one shaking their head incredulously. Tostiklin motioned her and the cargo drone forward to join them.
“Thinking it clear who wins.” He broke off with a grin as the crowd erupted into cheers again. He tried to continue twice before the cheering died down enough to let him be heard. “Seeing you never slowed down, girlee. Thinking maybe you having another gear or two.”
Smiling, Myrla shrugged as the crowd went wild again.
“And!” He held up a pouch for everyone to see. “And, here is your payment. One hour’s wage for a class five stevedore. And since you performed double what the drone performed, your wages are doubled.”
Again, the crowd roared and she fought to keep the surprise off her face. She was a class one stevedore and class five rates were significantly higher than she was used to getting. As she accepted the pouch from him, she leaned in to be heard above the crowd. “You are a wise and honorable gentlebeing, Samchun. May your words echo among many gajog.”
That got her an extra cheer from the cargo-chiefs and a pat on the cheek from a grinning Tostiklin. “You taking good-good care of the Greylin crew, then. So, let’s be drinking to this!”

Hi Reddit, I'm new, and my best friend uses Reddit so I hope they don't come to this sub. I only know about it because I listen to RSlash.
I (NB 25) love my best friend (NB 29) in a "more than friends" way.
I'll be honest, I'm terrible when it comes to relationships. I get clingy, lose myself in the relationship, always feel the need to "prove" my love; essentially I am an easy target for bad people. Because of this I haven't been in a relationship for 6 years, it helps that I'm asexual (sex repulsed), but I still have the desire for romantic love.
Me and my friend met online about 2 years ago and we instantly clicked. At the time I was still weary about getting into a relationship, as I wasn't confident that I wouldn't slip into those unhealthy habits. Funny enough, that was also around the time my therapist cancelled my therapy appointment without telling me and ghosted me. I'm guessing I didn't appear mentally ill enough? I don't know. And no she was fine, she just went on a vacation.
Anyways, me and my friend talked a lot, and clearly our talks were more than platonic. But hey maybe I'm wrong and it's normal for people to call their best friends by pet names, say I love you over and over again, and send love letters in the mail about how much you love them and want them in your life. They used to be so loving, and I felt so secure in what we were.
Then Christmas happened, and it hasn't been the same since. They got asked out on a date by a work colleague and accepted it, which shattered my heart. I told them that if they pursued the relationship, that I wouldn't feel comfortable being as loving as we were and that we would have to talk as regular friends do. I asked them what we were and if they loved me the way I love them. It hurt when they said that they weren't sure.
They cancelled the date with the other person, but I don't think I've recovered from that day. Even though from it we decided that we would plan on living together once we were at stable places in our careers (we were both having issues with our jobs).
One time I got super drunk with their friend, and the friend said my best friend loved me and wanted to kiss me but just would never admit it, which felt good to hear. I've heard from their friends that they know they love me and that I've been a force of good in their life, one asked me to please stay because I make them happy. Essentially all their friends have been saying that my friend loves me but just doesn't know it.
Meanwhile my friends, who aren't online all that much so haven't seen how me and my friend interact, have been wanting to set me up. One was trying to set up a double date between her bf, and then me and her friend. When I told my friend about it, they were obviously hurt and got quiet for the night, being sheepish to tell me that I should do what I want to do.
I didn't want to, I still wanted to be with my friend, even though we weren't "together" together. That was a few months, and the last time it's happened.
So why am I here? Shouldn't it be obvious that we have feelings for each other?
These past few months they've slowly been showing their affection less and it's been bothering me.
They get off work and I ask them how their day went, and they'll say they're tired and going to bed, then do exactly that. They won't ask about my day, and that will be our only interaction for the day. At one point this was happening every single day.
They no longer say all those kind words that made me fall for them in the beginning, about how I make their life worth living. They've stopped calling me all those pet names that made me feel special, they rarely even say "I love you" first.
I spoke with them, about how I miss these pet names, that I miss being told that I matter to them. I tell them that these are my love language and that I don't feel loved, and all they say is that they're sorry and they don't know how to make me feel loved. I JUST TOLD YOU HOW!
They used to plan on coming to visit me once they get the money, but when they do get the money they visit family instead. I understand that family comes first, but it still hurts to know that they basically lied to me.
I'm reaching my breaking point, I'm tired of playing this game of "will we, won't we". But at the same time I'm afraid that I might be over reacting, and I don't want to leave them alone if they do really want something. Plus it's really hard finding a partner when you're sex repulsed.
So should I just move on? I haven't told them that I'm ready to break off what little we have, but other than that I have been VERY up front with my emotions as I have them.
TL;DR: I'm anxious and tired after playing around with someone with commitment issues after 2 years.

I'd like to find someone who captivates me. Someone who I can talk with effortlessly. I want to meet a person who I can include in my daily tasks, and talk with throughout the day. I just want to find someone I can be open with. Platonic conversation or romance. Whatever you are looking for, don't hesitate to message me. I hope to hear from you.
I love a number of things, and hate very little. I'm fairly open to trying new things, but some of the things I enjoy are as follows. I love the outdoors. I've never been camping, but I would like to try it with someone some day. I also love to fish. I mostly fish salt water. I do occasionally fish freshwater though. I like to check out new spots around me, but I mostly fish on the beach. Do you like to fish? What are some of your favorite places to go?
I also enjoy the shooting sports. I primarily target shoot. I take part in a little bit of everything, including rifle, pistol and shotgun. It would be nice to find someone who is into shooting or would like to learn/become more familiar. If you shoot, what do you like to shoot mostly? What's been your favorite gun to shoot so far?
PC games are also a enjoyable pastime for me. I have a variety of games, most of which are on Steam. I have other games on various other stores/services. I enjoy a wide variety of different kind of games, so I'm sure we can find something to play together if you game. What are some of your all time favorite games? What are you currently grinding on that you can't put down? One hobby I discovered later on in life is Magic the Gathering. I play both online on MtG Arena, and with physical cards. Magic has become something I am particularly fond of. Do you play any kind of card/table top games? What's been your favorite so far? If you play Magic, what are some of your favorite deck themes?
Music has always been a part of my life. My tastes are varied, ranging from country, death and black metal, electronic, classic rock, folk, pop punk, and more. Do you have a favorite band? What has been your favorite concert you've been to?
I'm honestly an ambivert. I enjoy doing things outside, as well as spending time indoors. I can veg out all day under the covers curled up in my bed, or I can take a trip somewhere and experience something new. I think my personality is a mix of the best of both worlds. What would the perfect day consist of for you?
As far as my personality is concerned, I would say I am fairly relaxed and laid back. I feel like I am somewhere in the middle between loud and excitable, and shy and quiet. Around people I don't know, I tend to be fairly quiet and to myself. In the company of someone who I am close with, I am more open and free. Do you open right up to people, or does it take a while to become comfortable with someone new?
All I hope for is a connection. It could be platonic, or it could blossom into romance, and commitment. I'm not putting a limit on what I am looking for.
With the prior being said, I am single. I may be interested in changing that with the right person. The idea of commitment excites me. Monogamy is appealing to me. Do you feel satisfied with your social life? What kind of connection are you looking for?
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I appreciate it. I hope you can identify with something I wrote. If you do, please reach out.
P.S. Please feel free to check my post history, and check out a few pictures of my cat if you would like.

Warning: mention of pregnancy loss and death of family members by gun violence
I, 31 female, have been together with my husband, 37 male, for 10 years and married for almost 9. We have two beautiful children, a 4 yr old son and a 2 yr old daughter and he has two other children with two other women that he doesn’t get to see and pays child support for. Before my son we had 12 losses, one of which I hemorrhaged from and then I ending up almost hemorrhaging to death after our son was born. We also had one more miscarriage after our daughter was born and I’ve since decided to not try for anymore even though this breaks my heart a little because I always wanted a bigger family.
I recently lost my mother and 10 year old niece in August after they were unalived by a family friend who also unalived himself. Less than two months later, my sister tragically passed in a car accident. To say that broke me is truly an understatement. For months all I could do was cry everyday and feel excruciating pain. My mom and sister were extremely close. We messaged and called every day, multiple times a day even though we all live within a 10 mile radius. They were there for me through everything life had to spit at us. We already have lost every female on my dad’s side of the family. My sister and I were all that was left besides our own daughters. The future feels daunting knowing that there may very well be decades with them not here with me.
It’s been many months now and I feel like I am finally starting to feel happiness and I’m just doing my best to spend as much time with my kids and remaining niece and nephew. My oldest niece is my partner in crime especially now that we are in the no mom and no sister club. She’s only in her early teens and she had also been shot but thankfully survived.
On to the issue. My husband has honestly never really put in any effort for birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc. Usually my birthday I don’t give a crap for but it’s only because in the past I’ve been disappointed because no one ever did anything for it. And I’m talking about just like a card and cake. Nothing serious. I really have dirt floor standards to be frank because I just have learned throughout life not to expect anything. That said I am the person who no matter what kind of financial situation I am in will find a way to show love and appreciation no matter the budget. I’ll make you hand made cards, I’ll personally call you on your birthday or special holidays, and I’ll make cake or cupcakes from scratch. If I have a budget I’ll plan dinner and some time to spend out. I just love making people feel happy and special. I was just raised that way.
So of course I find and marry the one person who honestly could kind of care less. I don’t think he has ever gotten or done anything for my birthday, not for Christmas. I remember he got me something for Mothers Day a few years ago…AFTER I had said something. My mom and sister on the other hand always made sure I got a card and we all had a Mothers Day dinner where we would cook and just enjoy time with our kids and ourselves.
This is my first Mothers Day without them and tomorrow and my sisters birthday without her. I had already verbally mentioned how hard it was going to be and my husband fully knew that it was going to be a hard day for me. My friends even sent him ideas for me, like just cleaning up the house and waking up to make breakfast for me. Things he’s honestly never done ever, but hey those are free things anyone could do to make someone feel special. All he said to my best friend was “lol I don’t have any money.” She got pissed. She ended up buying me flowers, a wind chime, some NA beer (I’m sober), and spent extra time with me because she knew I needed my support people on Mother’s Day. My dad also came out in support and got me more NA beer, bought me lunch, and we picked up my oldest niece and I got to spend a ton of time with her. My husband? Slept in until 10:30am. Didn’t do anything all day. I was up at 6 am with the kids and made breakfast after I realized he was still sleeping because ya know, kids can’t starve and I’m not going to wait 4 hours to have breakfast myself.
The thing is, this is just the tip of the iceberg. He can’t stay employed and oftentimes will switch jobs to avoid paying child support. Sure he’s present for the kids now, but when the going gets tough he pretty much stops putting in effort. I bet if I lived even 20 minutes away from him he wouldn’t see the kids often. He has never ever done much around the house despite me working MULTIPLE jobs at times (at one point I was working 3 and going to school). I work full time for a Fortune 500 company and he can’t even schedule a damn doctors appointment for himself. Any time I try to bring things up he’s dismissive or just denies things. And now he’s also getting more angry and aggressive because child support is being taken out again and he ended up swatting our son so hard our son doubled over…in front of my whole family! This along with Mothers Day has got me just thinking I need to divorce him. He can’t hit our kids like that period. All our son did was throw a damn smore at him! And I have multiple witnesses including my niece, grandfather, brother and SIL. I want to protect our kids. I feel like after that happened if I stay with him I am essentially condoning his behavior. I absolutely confronted him about it and he says he feels bad and should never have done it but he felt justified in that moment. I can’t trust someone like that. And it’s not the first time he’s swatted at our son but this was certainly the worst. So I am ready to leave just for that but then our son would have to be with him unsupervised.
If I am overreacting I want to know. He says I am and constantly says I am. I just need some clarity and maybe just support because if I do this, this is something that once the ball is rolling you can’t really stop it. I’m just afraid…but I think I’m more afraid of what will happen if I stay.

Howdy Gang,
I'm looking at swapping my 2019 iMac for a new Mac Studio and I wanted to see if anyone has any ideas on the outputs it supports. I know the Apple website says it supports five displays. But I think I'll need it to pump out five or six (computer display, main projectors [through a dualhead] stream output, and stage display, and a reference screen on stage). I would also like to eventually run another stage display to my green room to give the stream team an idea of video countdowns and stuff and potentially run another output to a LED wall if we go that route in the next few years.
So if any of you have one and run that many outputs how do you find performance? And are you guys using adapters that split into two HDMI/DP signals to get the sources out?
Thanks!

As you guys know, between LotM and COI, roughly six years passed. In that time, the Tarot Club members had their various tasks, some even advanced by one or two Sequences. But a lot also happened in the rest of the world, new factions arose, evil deities are more present than ever.
I know that a huge positive factor about the current Tarot Club members is that we know them and their story, so this brings a good degree of Nostalgia.
My question is, do you guys think it could be possible that in the six year, maybe a new Major Arcana was appointed that we have never seen or heard of? The better way to ask this question is if you would enjoy seeing something like that.
Because to me, it would definitely spice things up a bit. I can quite vividly see Fors saying to Lumian "I will consult Mr. Chariot on this" and would be absolutely flabbergasted (Aside from Lumian telling us which members he knows about, the current TC Lineup was never confirmed by any of the members to be final). I mean i get that this is Lumians Story so there is no real need to introduce someone like that, but if it makes sense from a narrative POV, i could absolutely see this working well and give a bit more the feeling that the world of LOTM is moving outside of the story we are reading
. That new member would not even need to have a big role, maybe just someone the send into some evil organisation to monitor their situation. And if that character has a cool backstory and more importantly an entertaining character, i would absolutely love that.
What do you think, would you enjoy something like this happening? If yes, what type of character would you like to see and from what Pathway?

Started a new job yesterday and when my new boss was taking about how she worked with Charles Ng and what an unpleasant guy he was, I had to strain and force myself to not say (in HKs "inimitable" style) "you just dont understand what he brings to friendship."
Glad self preservation won over intrusive thoughts and comic compulsion but I just needed to tell someone. Hail yourself and remember: it's satire!

Hello Reddit people. I don't post here often or be here often, but this is the only place I could think of for discussions. I'm 24 years old Male and I had a girlfriend for 5 years. It was a very toxic relationship ( I think as I had 1 relationship) with physical and mental abuse received from her. I've been very lonely and not really accepting any new friends or female attention. I'm not a bad looking guy, I can safely say I'm handsome, but the problem is that I don't want a girl in my life anymore after her. I have seen LOTS of examples of cheating and just absurd behavior which disgusts me. Now the big question is. Is what I'm doing healthy or no ? I don't want to fuck around like most of my friends say to get over someone, that's not really the point. I feel like I can never trust a women again after what was done to me. I'm open to any opinions and questions.

There is no one I can tell and have had this weighing heavy in my heart and soul for many years.
Our first meeting was fleeting and our second involved you serving my friend and I food. I still have pictures of you in my mind of those interactions as perfect and as vivid as on the days I saw you.
The third time you came to my home. I was in a vulnerable place, more or less bound to the confines of my flat. We stayed up all night talking and drinking. I felt something inside of me which I hadn’t felt for a very long time. From then on you lived in my thoughts almost every day.
We were brought together by someone we both love dearly. Someone I have known for many, many years. This someone I have a deep love for that has developed over time and has become a different type of love than it was before. Although this someone broke my heart and hurt me a long time ago, they have done so much for me and have become part of my soul.
It would break their heart to know I had feelings for you. I feel guilt and shame that I have managed to fool myself into thinking I have been sparing them the same pain I once suffered before by not telling or leaving them. The truth is I am scared and a coward.
We had many times together mainly in group settings between then and when you moved away. Each time my feelings would grow and each time the sorrow inside of me would do too.
You came back for a visit years later. Time and not seeing you had allowed me to bury everything. It was so difficult seeing you again I couldn’t even say goodbye. I thought it had all gone away, it was still in me.
Now you are back and like the first time I knew you, I still feel the same. You have grown but haven’t changed. You still excite and interest me the same way. I find myself not being able to look at you directly in your eyes because if I did, you’d know everything.
You are like a drug that brings new life into every area of my life. Then the sickening comedown sets in when I know we will never be together. I want and don’t want to see you all at the same time.
Now I know you will likely be in my life more regularly again. I am reckoning with myself more than ever before. I know I will do nothing about it but shed a tear on a drunken night alone when a sad song comes on. This post will be the only evidence this ever existed. I felt compelled to put it out into existence. This was the only way how.
A. Coward

Hi. Every one. New to the community. I have a small doubt regarding the CGPI requirements for GATE. I graduated from Mumbai University in 2017 with a CGPA of 6.75 which when converted according to the formula sheet is 59.9%. Now the eligibility criteria I checked for Mtech is either 60% or 6.0/10 CGPA. Just wanted to know If I am eligible or not as I am genuinely confused as to will they convert my CGPI to percentage? Or take it as 6.75. Also what would be the difference between CGPI and CGPA? Is that the same thing? My university certificate says CGPI but all the eligibility requirements are in CGPA. Thanks in advance for any help.

So I am going to college this year and the college I want to attend have a bad reputation for ragging According to some people. I never heard about it till now. After hearing about what they have to say I am having second thoughts about the matter.
It's not that there are not any other good colleges around It's just that I want to get away from home and gain new experience. My parents are not abusive or any thing matter of fact they told me that no matter whatever colleges I choose to get into they will let me.