What would you do in my sitaution?
So bear (bare?) With me here.
My first period is AP psychology. The AP test was last thursday, so the teacher was basically saying "i cant tell you not to come to class...but..technically you dont have to and i woudlnt mark you absent"
So, going with what he said that day, yesterday i didnt come to class for first period. It was actually really beneficial because typically i get to school an hour early (parents having to work and such) so i got extra sleep yesterday. So i walk into school with 10 minutes remining of first period through the office (because all the other doors are locked during school) and get stopped by the people there. I ask if i have to go to AP classes now that the test is over and they said seniors are excused but nobody else is excused if absent (im a junor, the teacher said that juniors and seniors are excused but he doesnt care about anyone coming to class.)
So i said ok and she asked what is up why im in late and i said because i thought i didnt have to come to class because my AP class is first period. She said ok and looked on her computer and said the teacher didnt mark me absent (but i dont think he marked me present either,) fulfilling his promise, so she wrote me a pass and sent me on his way.
I went to class and called the teacher a liar and he was like "well technically-" and i didnt even give him the pass because i know he doesnt care and i hadnt been marked absent.
This is whwre i ask you what you would do, my parents dont care about what i do. They know the situation and that the teacher is cool and that i wouldnt get in trouble or marked absent by him (because they didnt get a call saying i was missing) so that is making me want tk sleep in and skip first period. On the other hand, however, that would mean going through the attendance office everyday in the moring and they would catch on. I dont think they would get me in trouble but they could im sure. I could get my parents to call me in everyday to excuse me but that would just burden them lol.
I domt really care either way, i mean there is only like 3 weeks left so it doesnt really affect me either way, but i also just started a job where i will be workinf late and i have not been sleeping well after working so extra sleep would super benifit me.
I just really domt know what do do lol my friend (who took AP psych last year) just said to skip and it seems my parents are leaning toward just telling me to skip but i really dont want to have to go through the people in the attendance office lecturing me everyday lol.
I suppose i could also arrange a friend letting me in between classes everyday through a different door but that could get us both introuble lmao. I could also sleep in class but that class is very loud so that would get nothing done. Just yesterday when i walked in with 10 mins left 4 people (proving that others skipper class) wwre yell debating about abortion lol.
I also dont want to get the teacher in trouble for not marking me absent because he is super cool and he didnt say not to come to class (just hinted at it) so i really dont wwnt to get him in trouble either.

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Hi, everyone, new to the sub. I've done some searching for discipline-related posts, and it seems like plenty of them are of the form "my two year-old does not care even a little bit about what I tell them to do, please help?" Which I get, because I was there three years ago, and I still don't know that I have a good answer.
My kids are 8, 5, and 3, and the middle kid is autistic. He was diagnosed with medium support needs, but he blends pretty well at school, to the point that the school decided he doesn't need an IEP anymore. At home it's a bit of a different story. He doesn't seem to have an internal desire to please or to follow the rules, and this comes out most prominently in an extremely aggressive sweet tooth. Almost every day, sometimes multiple times a day, we'll find him hiding in the bathroom or closet with an entire bag/box/container of something sugary: candy, cookies, ice cream, nutella, semisweet baking chocolate, etc. He will usually also lie when we ask what he's doing.
Where my wife and I are struggling is trying to find an appropriate way to correct this behavior, and to discipline him more generally. The advice we've found on other autism parenting resources tend to fall into one of two categories:

1. Don't punish at all, try to understand the reasons he's acting this way and address the root. I. . . don't really see a way forward on this one. The root is that sugar tastes delicious and he has no impulse control. We can talk to him about food as fuel and growing big and strong and all that, but he still doesn't have impulse control. We can (and have, and continue to) try to restrict access to help manage that impulse control, but he's really good at finding things. We've put sweets behind a locked door, he's broken the lock. We've put them on top of high cabinets, he's constructed precarious towers to climb to get them. We've tried keeping all candy out of the house, but he gets into baking supplies. I have literally spent days camped out in the kitchen. But then I have to leave to change the baby's diaper, or give him a bath, or something else, and there he goes.
   
2. Just use natural consequences. I don't see much way forward here either. The obvious natural consequences are a stomachache, but he will eat himself to sickness, mope around the house for two hours, and then binge eat sugar again. The stomachache is not a motivator. The other natural consequence is "if he eats it, we just don't have it anymore." But this one runs into problems with baking/cooking supplies, and also in that he'll raid his siblings' bedrooms and steal their candy, so it becomes a punishment for them.
   

So with both the common answers feeling like dead ends, we've tried a couple other classic disciplinary techniques, and so far they've also been dead-ends:
3. Short/medium-term deprivation (aka "you're grounded"). As a consequence for sneaking candy, and/or lying about it, we've tried telling him he can't have any candy or screen time for next day. This was pretty motivating for about a week, and then he realized that he can just keep sneaking sweets or screen time while he's grounded, and all we'll do is ground him longer, and it makes no difference to him if he's grounded for a month if he can keep sneaking sweets every day anyways. We've tried adding in "we also won't take you to fun playgrounds or activities while you're grounded," but the allure of going to a special play area tomorrow just doesn't seem as strong as the allure of eating candy today (this also seems like a punishment for his siblings, who end up not getting to go fun places because their brother is grounded).
4. Short-term, parent-imposed punishment (aka "go to your room" or "write 'I will not sneak treats' five times"). These just become endless power struggles, which make life miserable for all involved. He hates them, he makes us hate them because he just fights us until we give up. I don't feel like the power struggle is helping our relationship with our kid, and I don't think it's really an effective deterrent for the bad actions anyways.
So yeah, sorry for the long post. We've tried many things! None of them work! My wife and I were both very "want to make parents happy" sort of kids, and our oldest (not autistic) also has some of that internal motivation and is also receptive to punishment. So this is all new with kid #2, and we've been fighting this battle since he was a toddler, and now that he's in kindergarten, he's beginning to understand cause and effect in such a way that I think it's appropriate to discipline in a way that's different than how you'd handle a toddler, I just. . . haven't found anything that's effective. The gentle stuff doesn't seem to make any difference, the natural consequences don't seem to make much difference, the stuff our parents did with us don't seem to make much difference, and I'm at a loss. We're still trying to more aggressively keep sweets behind locks, but it's an uphill battle, and I honestly think finding disciplinary strategies that are meaningful to our kid is something useful for general purposes, even if the sweets are the most common battleground right now. Ideas welcome.

Sorry for my bad grammar I’m not good at writing but i wanted to share. Around a year ago I (15F) at the time lived in a smallish house with my single mother, my mum is a very bubbly woman who can start a conversation with anyone and is loved by everyone. I remember one morning hearing her talk to someone outside my bedroom window just shrugging it off I eventually went downstairs to ask who she was talking too. Finding out she was talking to our new neighbour. She was very sympathetic towards him as she described him as very old (she said around 95ish) and lived by himself, a nurse coming to visit him a few times a month, my mum also found out while talking to him he had no family members as they all passed so it really was just him she also mentioned that he was a priest which I found quite creepy.
a few weeks had passed by and my mum been the kind woman she was cut our new neighbours grass for him and would usually strike up a conversation out of pity. I just want to mention that I never saw this man once I’d just heard about him from my mums daily rambling.
My house had a window at the top of my stairs that if you looked out of faces the priests house and as they were almost identically built there was a window facing right back at ours, again I never saw this man only his dim landing light on. It had now been around 3 months since I’d heard from the priest. This One night i will never forget, around 1am I’d gone downstairs to get somthing to eat and on my journey back up the stairs and too my bedroom I looked out the landing window out of just pure instinct. There on the opposite side was the old man , his hand gripping the banister as he helped himself up the stiars, the lighting was terrible but he was very skinny as old people usually are. Been nosy I stood there for a moment wanting to get a good look at him, he was hunched over slightly as he struggled to almost carry his own body weight and I swore I could see the ridges of his spine thought his shirt as he hobbled out of view of the window. Not to be mean but this freaked me the fuck out and I immediately went to my room trying to get that disturbing image out my head before I slept.
Around a week maybe two later the priests nurse showed up at our door asking if we’d seen him recently as she was unable to get into his house as it was completely locked and sealed. she hadn’t heard from him in over 4 months and was getting concerend for his well being. I wasn’t at home to tell her I’d seen him in the window as I was at school so my mother just said she hadnt heard from him either. The nurse called the police who broke down his door. I was just walking home as i reached my house, the police giving another blow at the door with like a pole thing i dont really know what it was all I do know is that when the door finally came down the smell that left that house could make anyones toes curl. All I can describe it as is when ur cat brings home a mouse and it dies under your couch without you knowing.
Rushing inside I immediately went up to my room. Peering out my bedroom window watching the police enter his house, covering their noses. I don’t really remember what happened after that except when they wheeled his body out in a black bag and into the back of a black van. It was sad really I’d never gotten to speak to him and I’d now felt guilty for been so horrified by his appearance.
My mum was also distraught by his passing and was talking to the police outside. The house took weeks to be cleaned as when he’d died all the windows and doors were shut, keeping the smell locked in.
When the police left and the street went silent again i found myself spending more time with my mum downstairs, she has always been religious so as we spoke she lit a candle for him out of respect and to help him pass into heaven. Bringing up the putrid smell I asked her what the police told her. And what she told me has stuck with me since that day. They said he’d died a few months ago and had been found, decomposing in his bed.
At first i just shrugged this off when she spoke, yeah it was disturbing but more sad nobody had noticed his disappearance. But then it clicked. If he died a few months ago, who was it that I saw through the window? I mentioned this to my mum, she also knew I’d never saw or spoke to him while he was alive so she asked me what he looked like.
Wispy white hair and a boney hunch. I still remember her face drop from a blush pink to a pale white.
We moved out a month later.
This story isn’t that interesting as I haven’t had many scary paranormal? Things happen to me but it’s a true story so I hope you enjoyed :)

Vitaly, Myron and Adin fly to Romania to catch predators, there they find both Tates messaging and grooming school kids again. Myron helps the DIICOT to get more evidence and Tates are locked again.

Hey I had a few questions regarding applying to PA school through CASPA.
I want to get advice on how you guys applied to different schools with different deadlines. I have a few that have an early deadline for and I’m working on them but I don’t want to submit to all at the time ( which I believe we can do), but I read online that once you submit your transcripts CASPA locks them in, so I wouldn’t be able to go back and send them a transcript of a course that I have in process. Can someone please clarify this and what things will be locked in vs not when applying to different programs at different times
Also, some schools require 2-3000 hours of PCE but say “ required by August 1 of the year of matriculation” for ex. Which means I would have till next year to have these hours. My question is when and how do we include these “ future” hours in CASPA.
Thanks guys

Hey guys im 17m and i recently got out of my battle with the hard s. pls give this story a read as it serves a reason too seek help, ive summed it down as much as possible for you, its so easy too find a local line for people too talk too with a quick search.
Chapter 1: Early Struggles
My childhood was a whirlwind of chaos, marked by my parents' turbulent separation when I was just a child. The memories of their heated arguments, sometimes escalating to physical altercations, lingered in my mind. Despite the turmoil, my mother emerged as my anchor, tirelessly providing for me while ensuring my father contributed financially through child support.
Chapter 2: False Hero
At six years old, I viewed my father as a savior when he gained custody after a prolonged legal battle. However, the illusion of safety shattered as I faced my stepmother's relentless bullying and unreasonable demands. Home became a battleground where I navigated the minefield of my father's authority, realizing it came with its own brand of cruelty.
Chapter 3: Escaping Reality
To cope with the turmoil at home, I retreated into my imagination, crafting elaborate fantasies as a means of temporary escape. Despite the turmoil within my family, I projected a façade of happiness and humor at school, determined to shield my peers and teachers from the harsh realities of my daily life.
Chapter 4: Silent Suffering
Behind closed doors, however, I suffered in silence, enduring relentless punishments and late-night chores under the unforgiving glare of the outside lamp. My father's preferred methods of discipline ranged from physical to psychological, each one leaving scars deeper than the last. From being forced to scrub concrete with a toothbrush late into the night to enduring verbal tirades that cut deeper than any physical blow, I bore the brunt of my father's wrath in silence, convinced that no one would believe my cries for help.
Chapter 5: Cry for Help
A visit from my siblings on my mother's side stirred a longing within me to confide in someone about the horrors I endured. Their presence was a rare beacon of familiarity in my tumultuous life, offering a brief respite from the chaos that consumed my days. However, the joy of their visit was short-lived as my father's disdain for their presence became apparent. With a heavy heart, I watched as my siblings packed up, knowing that their departure signaled a return to the suffocating grip of my father's tyranny.
Despite the opportunity to seek solace in the presence of my siblings, I remained silent, my father's mere presence invoking a sense of fear and helplessness that rendered me mute. Years of manipulation and psychological warfare had ingrained in me the belief that reaching out for help was futile, a notion reinforced by my father's iron-fisted control over every aspect of my life. Even as my siblings prepared to leave, I remained locked in a prison of silence, unable to voice the turmoil raging within me.
Chapter 6: Breaking Point
The breaking point came like a tidal wave of despair, triggered by my stepmother's relentless tirades and my father's explosive temper. Tossed aside like a discarded toy, I found myself at rock bottom, nursing wounds both physical and emotional. Ready to surrender to the darkness, I bid farewell to my unsuspecting classmates, plotting a desperate escape from my unbearable reality.
Chapter 7: Finding Hope
But fate had other plans. A heart-to-heart with my school counselor unleashed a torrent of suppressed emotions, leading to intervention from compassionate social workers. With promises of a fresh start down under with my grandparents, I glimpsed a glimmer of hope amidst the darkness, daring to believe that a brighter future awaited me.
Conclusion: A New Beginning
As I embarked on the journey to leave my troubled past behind, a mix of relief and disbelief washed over me. Though the road ahead remained uncertain, the support and compassion I received offered a lifeline in my darkest hour. And as the story drew to a close, it served as a poignant reminder that help is always within reach, urging others to extend a helping hand to those who are suffering in silence.

The EXTREMELY detailed, mega-anxiety edition!!! Major events like consult and surgery day are labeled like this:
——— EVENT TITLE ———
Surgeon was Dr. David Whitehead and I saw him on Long Island (New Hyde)
Summarized list of major dates:
Consult: July 19 2023 Mental health letter acquired: August 9 Dates discussed: September 12 Pre-op appointment: December 18 Surgery day: January 8 2024 Post-op: January 17
November 11th 2022: Emailed northwell health for the first time, they emailed back saying to call. I was too anxious so I avoided it for a few months.
Called northwell a few months later but got too anxious talking to the person who picked up. They were being normal and talking normally, it was just personal anxiety on my part.
October 2022 - Early March 2023: Spent time talking to trans friends and family members about their timelines and processes for top surgery.
Looked into Penn medicine for a bit but wasn’t happy with the surgeons there, specifically as a nonbinary person. The patient navigational team however is lovely.
March 2: emailed Penn health patient navigation
March 3-10: correspondence and phone calls w patient navigation (absolutely wonderful people, some of the easiest phone calls I’ve ever had) Got lots of into on surgeons, things I’d need, processes etc.
Date unknown: phone call to Penn medicine asking about surgeons and possibly setting up as a patient (v long wait time on phone) Surgeon I had heard good things about only works w CHOP program and I’m was too old for that program. Other surgeons I was v iffy on.
March 23rd: Back to square 1. Called northwell again to set up an appointment. Everyone I spoke to was really nice. Could have set up an appointment within the week but decided to wait till the end of the semester. Scheduled a trans care and primary care appointment for May
Couple of calls In between for confirmations. Trans care appointment got moved around a bit and ended up being moved to a phone call.
May 8th: Trans care call: Basic preliminary questions like: Emergency contact, what you’re looking for, are you thinking of looking into hormones, experience w dysphoria or dysmorphia, mental health, and eating/nutritional concerns, things you might want doc to know, piercings or tattoos, do you do any drugs or drink often, etc. total call time was about 20 minutes. Doctor was incredibly kind, I still experienced a good deal of anxiety but the call was super easy, welcoming, and friendly. Got sent contact referrals for the surgeons, as well as trans-friendly therapists under my insurance.
May 9th: started looking at list of therapists and making respective emails and calls. Checking per session costs and double checking insurance. Most charge 100-150 per session. Got in contact w one.
May 10th: Called w first therapist talking about what I’m looking for, where I am in this process, if parents are supportive, and talking about costs. She was very friendly and affirming, wants to have a few sessions to get to know me and my situation before writing a letter. Understandable and expected, but frustrating.
May 15th: Primary care appointment: Went to northwell health primary care, parkinglot was a little scary (just a large lot with a lot of cars) but everyone working there’s is super kind. Office is incredibly affirming, pride flags and lgbtq+ art everywhere. Gave my insurance card, filled out some paper work, got called in pretty quickly. I have a needle phobia and medical trauma so I was panicking a bit in the office, nurse was good w me about it and doctor was very kind, I just requested to not have any blood work done that day and that was totally fine, so I could schedule that at a later date and go w a friend. Recommended to get blood work done before scheduling a consult w a surgeon. Also prescribed me a single dose anxiety med for the bloodwork which I was very happy about. I found over time that the anxiety meds unfortunately do little to nothing for my panic attacks personally when it comes to needles but regardless having a doctor acknowledge and respect that fear and listen to me was incredibly helpful and reassuring.
May 30th: Got blood work done in a different lab, went w a friend. Scheduling for that is super easy, I think I did it online actually I don’t entirely recall. they do take walk ins but I made an appointment to minimize complications and make sure I could prepare properly. Front desk/lobby area was a little spooky, but I think that is mainly just bc of my social anxiety. They take a urine sample, you give them your prescription, eventually they call you over for blood work. Quick and easy, tech was v nice and having a friend with me was incredibly helpful. Probably the best I’ve ever done with a needle despite the fact that I did still panic and get very lightheaded lol.
Got blood work results back within the next couple days, all looks a-okay! Neat :)
June 15th This day was incredibly difficult. I had my first session with a therapist to establish some ground knowledge around my dysphoria and the way that I view myself. Top surgery is something that I know from research and related experience Can be difficult and expensive to get and can take time, so much of my prep work has been on the understanding of taking things a step at a time and just knowing that the current way things are doesn’t have to be forever. It allowed me to be able to live with myself while prioritizing my health better. This read to the therapist as “not having the level of dysphoria [she’s] come to expect and look for in someone who is trans” and was largely based off the fact that I don’t want to go on hrt. Past that point I started to break down because now my method of learning to live with myself felt like it was actively going to work against me and prevent me from getting top surgery. I’m not good at talking about my dysphoria, I can’t imagine it’s easy for anyone, especially to a stranger I just met. It was rough, and I felt incredibly mentally drained after ending the session.
June 19th Called it quits with the first therapist, I felt incredibly disrespected and the one session we had put me in a mental spiral for days. It can feel some times in this process like the people you have to get permission from need you to be severely depressed and unable to wait another second for this procedure just in order to take you seriously.
After I left that therapist, I immediately got back to the list to find someone new. Spoke to a new therapist via email, but my insurance is kinda weird (Blue Cross Blue Shield out of state) so its off putting to some people. This therapist recommended I go through the office she started out at (Heart and Soul Counseling)
————- Time Skip ——————
IM BACK its time for some record keeping. Got super overwhelmed and lost the energy to document my process for some time so here goes.
HEART AND SOUL COUNSELING: My experience w/ this therapy office was mostly good. The person in charge, Jesse, was absolutely lovely and responsive. Never spoke in person, but any text/email interaction was prompt, respectful, and kind. The office is stellar with email/text communication, so I only ever had to call them once when I was initially inquiring about the office. This is something I wish all therapy/counseling centers did better, eliminated a ton of my anxiety and hesitation to speak to therapists.
I got set up w someone as quickly as possible and established what my goal was (to acquire letter document for my surgery team). I attended multiple session w the therapist, she was a kind lady but the sessions were unfortunately p miserable for me. We didn’t fit well, but I was willing to stick it out rather than backtrack on my process. She also did not invalidate me or accuse me of not being trans which was a major step up from my first therapy experience. Once I acquired my letter I did stop therapy there, I kindly explained to the therapist that it wasn’t a good match, but I may honestly explore my options at the office in the future. Receptionist there was also lovely and they had a cool fish tank.
———- CONSULT STARTS HERE —————
July 19th: CONSULT!!! My mama and I went to Dr. David Whiteheads office for a consult. Parking was a nightmare so I’m super glad I didn’t have to drive for this one (ty mama). Consult went really well, and the staff were all super friendly. Dr. Whitehead is cool, very chill energy and a bit intimidating, but I’m scared of everyone so that’s nothing new. First question he asked me is what I wanted/what he could do for me which caught me more off guard than it should have? I didn’t realize going into this process how many times people ask you what you’re having done even if it’s already written down, because there’s so much variety in what you can look for in the results.
We talked about the procedure, went through a slideshow n stuff, and discussed how I wanted a flat chest w/ no nipple preservation. They made sure to specify that my mental health professional letter had to include that I did not want nipple preservation because thats technically a “non-standard” appearance. Also had the first breast exam I’ve ever had in my life. Can’t say i’m a fan (not that I need to worry about that anymore!) Took pictures n measurements n such, and also discussed recovery supplies and care w me and my mom.
August 9th: After a plethora of painfully awkward therapy sessions, a decent amount of crying, and a couple breakdowns in friends cars/backyards, I got my therapist letter and sent it to the surgeons office. It ended up needing minor revisions to which I contacted Jesse from Heart and Soul and he got me the revised letter immediately. Unfortunately the surgical coordinator was out of office for the rest of the month the next day ;w;. Is how it be.
September 12th: Got a call from Surgical coordinator mid-painting class that I stepped out to take. Started discussing surgical dates!! She was kind enough to email the dates to me which was lovely because I was absolutely shaking/mind blank haha. There was an option for January 8th which felt like an absolute miracle the way it would work with my school schedule. It would give me a solid two weeks recovery time before spring semester began. Because it would be a couple months out, I was asked to contact her in the second week of October to submit documents to insurance.
(Timeline note: earliest date offered was in early December)
October 10th: Documents sent to insurance, predetermination started
October 30th: Received mail from my insurance approving my procedure as medically necessary (YAY) But! This is also where things get,,, fun! Dr Whitehead’s surgical coordinator, Alyssa, is a blessing and was very helpful and prompt with me despite the fact that I had to email her pretty constantly during this general time which I still feel bad about.
Around this time, my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer, which I reported to the surgical coordinator because it influences my family history (grandmother also had breast cancer). It was asked that I get genetic testing done because this could impact my surgical procedure. Now I’m handling the setup on this between helping my mom in her process setting up consults and considering her options because there of course is a lot of crossover to the steps I’ve already completed and am familiar with.
November 1st: Very kind person at cancer genetics calls me, sends me a family history questionnaire to fill out before I can be scheduled to see a genetic counselor. Filled out the questionnaire the same day.
November 8th: Called cancer genetics to check about scheduling, office was not open so left a message. Got a call back later in the day. I have a virtual appointment with a Genetic counselor Tuesday the 14th. Current plan is a mailed saliva genetic test but I’m going to ask if theres anything I can do to get results/materials quicker. If I can’t get results/feedback by December 8th my surgery date may get deferred.
Trying not to stress too much because there is little to nothing I can do about this, and I just don’t want to be sad. I’ve kept telling myself throughout this process to not get excited and not let myself believe anything is solid because something could happen at any time that might mess up my schedule or plan, and If I convince myself I’m in the clear, those changes will hurt a lot more. So far I think thats been a good move, because this really sucks.
My surgery date is still officially scheduled as of now as well as my first post-op. I will also ideally have pre-surgical testing done December 18th should I be cleared by genetics in time (Fingers crossed!)
ALSO! Def lean on friends if/when you can during this process. It can absolutely be challenging, and having a support system is incredibly important and helpful. I’m super lucky to have really lovely and supportive friends that are around to listen to me and send me pictures of stupid little animals.
November 9th: My mama is scheduled for her double mastectomy on December 4th
November 10th: Did some shopping with my mama for recovery supplies for double mastectomy/top surgery. Having watched a million and a half transition/top surgery videos and tiktoks and having read all the blogs and posts and tweets makes you a great support for someone suddenly faced with an upcoming double mastectomy! We might go shopping this weekend for some button ups and zip ups for her, clothes shopping is better done when you can try stuff on
November 14th: Meeting w genetic counselor: Victoria Webb, one of the loveliest medical care workers I’ve ever met. Had a virtual appointment with her to discuss and set up genetic testing. I explained to her about my situation w the proximity of my surgery and tight deadline as well as my willingness to do a blood test instead of a saliva kit to get results quicker. She was so incredibly kind and good with me, ended up being able to do a saliva kit and get results in time she deserves every good thing in life.
December 18th: pre-surgical testing: This was at the main hospital, everyone was really nice but I had a really bad panic attack despite being on Xanax.
The process is sort of like getting a physical. Measurements like weight and blood pressure get taken, lots of preliminary health questions. The people working with me were really kind and I was very open with them about my anxiety, it was visually apparent though anyway because I started crying the second we even started talking about the blood draw.
Once the equipment was actually brought into the room I started to panic. Both of the women working with me were really kind and helpful and tried to distract me and keep me talking the entire time, but I did still have a really horrible panic attack. Every muscle in my body locked up and I lost all my color, took a bit to get back to a spot where I could move and talk properly because my speech was affected too. It was a bit scary but funny to think about in post. Thanked the medical staff for being patient w me as always, a good portion of the anxiety is also guilt about making things harder for them. Got through it tho. Def eat before presurgical if allowed, I didn’t and that probably didn’t help!!
———- SURGERY DAY ————-
January 8th:
Ok so surgery day:
This day was very scary. Got my phone call the Friday prior for my surgery time which ended up being 1pm and I was asked to arrive around 11. Got there at 10 and went in at 10:30.
Called up to check in then in waiting room till someone brought me back to change. I told her right away about my anxiety with the iv bc that’s legit all I could think about. Got changed right after. I was generally shaky and a little disoriented the entire time because I was panicking but everyone was very patient with me. Clothes and belongings go in a bag in a locker and you get two gowns one that faces back and one that faces front. I was given underwear and a pad as well because lucky me I got my period a couple days before my surgery.
The pre-op area is a lot of little cubicles with curtain divider things, blue soft chairs, and medical equipment. Everyone I met and spoke to was very kind, but any time someone even suggested starting my iv I would panic. I was informed it would have to be placed in my hand and that terrified me, I’m especially anxious and sensitive about my hands and fingers. I think doctors and nurses tend to misunderstand exactly where my fear is with needles and ivs. It isn’t the pain that scares me, but the concept of veins and and anything being in them. Even writing this right now is horrible so I’m going to stop w any further detail. I spent the entire two-ish hours of pre-op absolutely terrified about this iv.
I wasn’t really keeping track of time but dr whitehead came in to do markings for surgery. They had cool rainbow socks on,big fan. Having your chest drawn on and just like, moved around n shit is such an experience. Felt bad because I kept losing my balance but doctor Whitehead is cool and I am 98% less scared about them now.
Probably my most favorite person I met during my entire hospital experience was the anesthesiologist. I know he told me what his name was but I couldn’t focus on or retain information at the time. He told me we could essentially put me to sleep with gas before putting the iv in and for the first time in probably a solid week I felt like I could calm down a little. He took a look at my hand and arm to check my veins which always does freak me out a bit but I’m more used to that kind of thing at this point and I know nothing bad is going to happen. One of the nurses came in with the iv equipment and he let her know that were going to wait till in the or which was also incredibly helpful because I absolutely panicked when I saw that little supply kit again.
V nice lady brought me into the or, I’d never been in one before it was cool. They had a little music speaker which was really cool. Took off blue jacket gown and they helped me onto the table. They put a warm blanket over my legs and my chest to help me calm down. Before long they gave me a mask w fun happy sleepy time gas, they let me keep my arms on my chest for a while which was really nice because I was still scared. I started getting loopy pretty fast but I still heard when someone mentioned where the iv equipment was and panicked a little because of that. I remember feeling them take my hand for that but never actually felt anything happen. Just some fear but the gas was v helpful obvi. Someone said they would see me in a little bit, and then I was groggily waking up in recovery.
Recovery was a little rough bc the iv was still there (fully wrapped up so I couldn’t see it though which was rad) but I was still really anxious about it until it was taken out and when it was taken out. For anyone that struggles w this i did not feel them remove it, just the tape. Everything was mentally much easier after that. After a while, going over instructions w parents, a cracker , some ginger ale and some juice, my dad helped me Get dressed and I was helped out to the car in a wheel chair. Ride was smooth bc of remaining numbness and meds except a few Bumps in the road
TOP SURGERY GOTTEN
My post op date was scheduled for Jan 17th and that’s the day I got my drains out followed by several post op check-ins. First week of recovery was miserable but things exponentially approved each day past that, and I went back to school in person two weeks post-op with driving and item-carrying assistance from friends!
Will upload recovery notes at a later date! Feel free to message me with any questions, more than happy to answer and give info! I’m a bit over four months out from surgery now and thriving 🥳

Linking a post at the bottom explaining what happened the other night a bit. Some backstory:
Friend has 3 kids with one woman; she is 4 states away and they had gone through a legal battle when the oldest was 6. Friends new wife has gotten worse as years have gone by; my wife witnessed the oldest kid ask for sanitary pads and the woman give her one. “I’ll need more later” “no you’ll waste them”. I’ve seen the woman lock my friend and 2/3 kids outside overnight and make them sleep in the car. There’s so much more she’s done.
The girl has cried for attention; she got in with the wrong boy last year and caused a big scene with her family, told lies about who it was and got CPS involved for a home visit. CPS has been to the house several Times in the last year, mostly due to her making complaints at school. They make sure house is ok & they leave; the girl was court ordered therapy for 2 months last year and that’s it.
After the events in my linked post transpired, her dad bought the other two kids cellphones & not the oldest. He’s told her she starts a lot of this “drama”.
Where I’m at is wanting to contact CPS myself, and inform them that yes the child has complained and home visits have showed it’s “ok” but that there’s more at play here. Am I overreacting? Do I need to stay out?
Linked post: https://www.reddit.com/TwoHotTakes/s/6AC2rtSXKF

The school I went to was considered ghetto and ugly. We had a track meet and I got into it with one of the girls from the rich school. I had to use the bathroom, so I went to the locker room. I was so surprised that none of their stuff was locked up. You can call me a piece of shit, I was young. I was 15 at the time. I’m almost 30 now. Grew up in different parts. Anyways, I walked out with $700 and an iPod. I gave the iPod to one of my sisters Mormon friend. He knew how I got it.
The next track meet, everything was put in their lockers, Locked.

My poor sister. She's my half sister, and she was unfortunately raised by nMom/egg donor. I was raised by my father and learned to spot egg donor's crap early in life. My sister was not as lucky. nMom had a solid 20 years to fully brainwash her and control the narrative and she's only just coming out of it now.
I was forced to move in with nMom, her husband, and their two kids when I was a teenager and my sister and I really bonded. I started "pranking" her by picking up her phone whenever she put it down and changing the language to one we don't speak, then putting it back. nMom thought it was funny until sister successfully used my "prank" as a reason to keep her phone locked, and not share the passcode with anyone as I proved I could watch over their shoulders and get the code that way. I was kicked out shortly after sis started questioning egg donor on some things, I went NC, and the world went back to how nMom wanted it. Sis and I lost touch.
Fast forward to now and sis is also NC with our egg donor and in a very healthy relationship with a nice man who convinced her to go to therapy. We reconnected. And started talking about the lies, specifically the ones nMom told sis and others that are so easily disproved.
nMom lied about her blood type. Who does that? She desperately wants to be or have a special medical case and told my sister she was AB- because she heard somewhere it was the rarest type. Sis and both have health problems, so between the info our doctors got from us and us knowing our own blood types and our fathers' blood types, nMom couldn't have AB- blood, unless she adopted or stole us. Since we both look identical to her and each other, we're pretty confident she just lied to sis. For some fucking reason. (We also called her father to confirm. She's O+)
Sis was told that my father cheated on nMom and that caused their divorce. They split because my father caught her cheating, which resulted in a child. The date (and result) of the paternity test and their divorce pretty clearly states what happened.
nMom tried to spin a story about her not getting custody of me because everyone ganged up on her and she had no choice. I showed Sis how to find court records from my hometown online and she found the dates nMom was in jail for kidnapping me and neglecting the affair baby, who was later taken away by the state and adopted out. The custody case for me ended with nMom voluntarily signing away all rights to me to avoid more jail time.
Apparently nMom also tried to claim that she voluntarily gave up Affair Baby as a teen mom and then got pregnant with me and married my father. I'm a little speechless at this one, but I guess she wanted to paint herself as a tragic victim who did the right thing for her daughters by giving one up and letting my dad take me. The truth is I'm the baby she got pregnant with as a teen, and she and my dad divorced because of Affair Baby, who was born 18 months after me. Affair Baby was removed from her custody due to neglect. I'm not sure how she hoped to keep this lie up.
Sis wasn't even told about Affair Baby until nMom randomly mentioned it to a friend in front of Sis and tried to spin the above story. Sis was 12 at the time and shocked. nMom fed her a ton of lies about the situation. I've put her in contact with the woman Affair Baby grew into via social media (she has a lovely family; we chat once or twice a year) so that's getting worked through.
When sis started dating, nMom's version of a sex talk was to horrify her with tales of nMom being bullied in school because she was pregnant. She persevered and graduated just in time to have me and/or Affair Baby, but it was hard and sis should learn from her mistakes and be smarter. I don't talk to our grandmother, but sis was able to reach out and grandma confirmed nMom dropped out of high school to marry my father and have me.
There's a lot more, but one that was really hard for us both to get through was The Night I Left. nMom told Sis I just left for no reason and they didn't hear from me again for years. Truth is, nMom kicked me out on my birthday because I caught her in a lie and called her out on it. And, as I later found out, she'd heard Sis asking me if she could go with me when I moved out. nMom convinced Sis I just didn't want Sis moving in with me so I'd moved out and ghosted them all. I was homeless for 2 months.
It was a very long, exhausting conversation to have with my sister. In the end she burst into tears and said "Sis... I think my whole life has been a lie."
She's got a hard journey ahead of her, and helping her through it is stirring up some stuff I thought I'd gotten over by now. Thanks for letting me vent.

What if Drake just cares about animals
Let’s be real here, AKs dog just got hit by a car and is locked up in a cage for its own protection during recovery, clearly ya’ll schizos have never had injured dogs, because they make one hell of a racket when they want out but can’t be let out. And that video while it sounds awful, definitely lines up with stuff I’ve heard in shelters and vet clinics.
Can we just for a second think, that while Drake is very likely an Ephebophile, he might also just love animals. Like bro, I have socks with my dogs face on them that I got as a gift, and tons of pictures of my pupper on my phone, but I’m not some fucking weirdo. He’s my buddy, part of my family, and I love em to death. But that just makes me a normal caring human being.
It’s very possible that while Drake is a shitty person for a lot of things, he just loves dogs and maybe animals in general, people can be shitty and still love things in a non weird way.
A lot of people with personality disorders have an affinity towards animals, and a lot of people who are ephebophiles have a personality disorder where they never really aged past their late teens, they still view themselves and act like they did when they were 17. Surprise, surprise it’s been studied that child acting severely inhibits mental growth of the actors. Kinda weird how all that lines up right.
Is it still fucked up, gross, and morally reprehensible, yeah. But it lines up.
So what’s more plausible? Drake gets mentally screwed up from child acting, develops a personality disorder making him basically permanently stuck with the mentality of a late teen, seeing himself still as one, and thus still having sexual attack action to teens; which explains his other high school like behaviors that he consistently displays. Then he uses his enablers and money to fulfill his desires.
Or Drake is a dog fucker, running a multinational trafficking ring for his friends and himself, involved with Russia and Putin, and somehow the stream Ak is in on it along with a random disabled journalist who’s schtick is to meet celebs but is otherwise unaffiliated.
Idk, one seems more likely than the other and that’s the one you should be digging for.
Dig for videos and connections do Drake and minors, if ovo and minors, of their “personal tinder” of paying eachother in women. (Calling it tender)
Everything else is irrelevant right now.

Based on your experiences and wisdom internet strangers, how should I approach this because I have feelings for her? Should I tell her, or back off?
TL;DR is that I think I might be getting hints and clues that this girl I know may have feelings for me, but graduation is in a few weeks, and the parting of ways is inevitable.
There is this girl who I have recently, in the past year and a half or so, gotten to know well. I live in a town across the valley from hers, and we are both 18, being seniors in separate high schools. We have been texting each other for what almost felt like daily or multiple times a week well since the beginning of the summer before our senior year, and have not lost any momentum. I don’t always initiate conversation, as she likes to spark conversations through texting, whether it’s the most recent adventure, anecdote, or cake she baked, I’m not talking to a wall. We also talk in person whenever we can. When we see each other at weekly church meetings, she always tries to sit next to me, or does so when she can, and since I tried out track this year, each meet our schools are both at, we both without asking each other, watch each others events and cheer each other on, and we talk just about anything and everything. I think her parents and family like me pretty well, and I have a good relationship with them, and my family adores her. The problem is where I think I stand with her.
That problem is exemplified by the fact that our graduations our quickly creeping up on us, and we’re going to be parting ways as I’m moving to a bordering state in the middle of the summer, and not too long after will be serving a 2 year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints all the way down in Mexico in late August. However, I’d be surprised to be “Dear John’d” as she is also going to serve a mission for our church before going to university, and is waiting to have her finished papers submitted. The timing would be perfect, as by the time she gets done with her mission, I’d be back home from mine oddly enough. We are also thinking about different universities which we both got accepted to, for me, USU and BYU Provo, for her BYU-I. The nice thing about the mission is that it’s like a 2 year gap-year, so if anything were to happen and be set into motion, we could try to go to the same school after. But I’m wondering if the fact that we are thinking about different schools and that I’m moving will make her fret if she does feel anything for me.
Some final preface is that we’ve been to homecoming together our junior year and that’s when our relationship kind of started. I also asked her to my senior prom in a fun, personal way for her, and she wasn’t weird about it, and was genuinely excited for it, saying yes, and that she was suspecting that I would ask her. We had a great time together and with the group we were with. When we took pictures with everyone, the photographer who was a mom asked our group to walk towards her for some cool shots, and for the couples to hold hands while doing so. Me being unsure and shy, didn’t grab her hand, but she sure grabbed mine and totally locked fingers with me (Mormon first base lol). At the dance, we slow danced to every song we could, when she wanted to, and I tried my best to match her energy the whole time (as a person who can’t dance, and is kind of introverted in stark comparison to her extroverted extreme nature). I later learned from my mom from her mom that she noticed and made mention of that, how I matched her energy intentionally. Afterwards, when it was time to go home and drop her off, I walked her to the door and she gave me what I can only describe in my mind as an intimate hug, which has happened between us before as well.
I’m leaning on the edge of her liking me back (rare glass half full view for me personally) because of a bunch of specific instances that blur the line of friendship between us, making it feel like we are more than just friends, and I’ll share a few key ones: (Sorry for making it look like a police report, that’s just the way my mind operates)
Exhibit A: On prom, I told her about the fact that I was moving in the middle of the summer because I needed to tell her in person, and it needed to come from me (weird time to tell someone that), but if I didn’t, she would’ve found out otherwise through town and church gossip. I was met with an immediate sad response, but that was quickly washed away and we had fun at the dance. What’s interesting is what she texted me after the fact: “What if we never see each other again…Sorry this is just crazy I'm going crazy I hate change and not sleeping so guna go to bed before this becomes a what if I die moments.”
Exhibit B: There are instances where I think she is trying to flirt with me, one of them being a response to me saying that I’m going to be somewhere where she thinks she’s going. The response in question was “I’m going now for sure [winky emoji, laughing emoji]”
Exhibit C: I have received 3 hugs from her that have stuck with me, and we’re all pretty intimate. Once after I gave her a meaningful gift after one of her favorite livestock she was taking care of died, which was pure luck and chance as I got a hat for her with a gag signature from my uncle called “the pig whisperer” which I was planning to give to her not as a cheering up gift, because I didn’t know her animal died. And once after I got my mission call, and once after dropping her off back at her house after Prom as mentioned before.
I don’t want to ruin our relationship because I value her a lot as a friend, but I think I’m seeing something more, and I don’t want to regret not doing anything.
Sorry for the long story, just looking for experienced insights. I don’t want to be “…falling in love as she’s walking away,” haha. Thank you for reading through my plight, and for those of you who respond.

So I follow the radios usually because they offer decent loot, and I get to give family's some peace I feel. Eventually got to this place, barricaded neighborhood similar to sanctuary, full of supermutants. Kill them nothing special. Find the source of the broadcast in a guy basement. I listen on last time before turning it off. And start rummaging around, and their is a computer I read throught the logs.
When the bombs fell a man named Wayne who built giddy up butter cup toys ( found logs of him when I looted that building) got an early warning reading his bosses computer and dipped before the building went into lock down ( which is why I remembered, business guys starving to death) went to the nearby Malden middle school to pick up his kids and went home. Left the radio on for Bonnie's his wife. Who didn't come home.
I had previously come across her in medtech? Some hospital. Bonnie's was a doctor and her corpse is in a massive catscan room where she also left a tape. She talks about how hard it gotten, so many sick people and running low on supplies. But she hoped her family is okay. She obviously never made it home.
Could be a forth part, not sure, since David Wayne youngest son left a holotape saying they had to leave their home since bandits came back ( because an idiot saw a bunch of dudes in mad max leather gimos suits with guns, recognized one, and told them where they live). Wayne and his boys escape( possibly) while the few other left in there neighborhood were killed by raiders.

I don’t even know where to begin. 26F. I have had a lot go on in my life (not to short anyone else, because life is screwed). I’m just going to tell my story because I don’t know what else to do. As I’m telling this story please keep in mind, I don’t have all of the information and I’ve been kind of surviving up until this point. When I was 3-8 months old my father packed me and the dog up, and left my mother without telling her while she was at work back in 1997(Florida to Pennsylvania). having no idea because I was an infant, going in to toddler my dad loved the crap out of me. I felt safe, and cared for. My dad ended up sending me to a catholic school for 1st- 5th. started growing and realized that I have a difficultly keeping concentrated, was way friendler than everyone. @ 9 years old he had me speak to my mother for the first time and all she said was mean shit about him and I cried and hung up.
I had noticed my dad started to grow aggravated with me, and would say some down right mean shit. Not let me have my own personality, Embarrassed me by writing mean shit about what I did wrong on sticky notes and would tell me to keep in on my shirt all day at school. Back me into corners like he was a big bully if I didn’t do things right/his way. He through a birthday party for me when I was 11 and then was like “look at how nobody showed up” when he was most likely the reason they didn’t. Before sixth grade started, he moved us back down to Florida. So from catholic school to public. I noticed bigger changes in him and it was a complete 180 for me, going from a religious school to a public. It was like there was no longer the happiness in him and he would pick on me and bully me, when I started going to public schools I was bullied as well there. I would come home from school crying and he stated “I’ll give you a reason to cry”. Would be very physically abusive. Would even threaten to send me to my mothers which I was scared of because of the mean shit she said when I was 9. He sent me to another girls mom to learn about “women things”- literally just how to shave my f**** legs. I eventually went to the schools therapist in 6th grade and tried to tell them what was going on without getting my dad in trouble or him hearing about it and doing something worse, that didn’t happen. I guess I blacked out most of my memory’s about things because of the way I needed to cope but I remember writing him letters and begging him to talk to me because he started just not speaking to me at all, would leave me at home while he worked and told me to lock the doors and hide. I eventually tried to disconnect from it all in my head to go with the motions. Eventually before 8th grade started we moved up to Maryland and moved in with my cousins because he had claimed he lost a lot of money in Florida( in recent years he told me the school was trying to get him charged for the things I said back then to the therapist.) we became more distant because he wasn’t very friendly and would hide in the basement. Moved into my god parents house because eventually he had enough issues with my cousins he didn’t want to be “there problem” anymore. We became more distant as he would just hide in there basement as well, I’d go down there just to talk with him and he’d just be this mean person I didn’t know anymore. Still being a very emotionally abusive person. I got arrested 3 months before graduation because I had weed and cigarettes at school.
When I was 18 I moved into my 2nd boyfriend’s house. Not a good idea looking back at it because it was totally a trap house and I had no clue what I was doing there.(drugs) that’s what I was doing. He had no clue & didn’t care to notice. A lot of co-dependence was there because I stayed there for 4 years.
In 2018 (I was 18 at this point) he was going delirious for about 4-5days and would tell me stuff like take my stuff, I’m going to die ect. Wouldn’t let me take him to the hospital, just wanted to die, thank god my god mother was there when he collapsed and had a ambulance come and get him, he went into a diabetic coma it lasted for 1.5 months or so, he came out of it and basically told me he should’ve died and that he wanted to.
That made things worse mentally for me, I did a lot of fucked up things in the 4 years I was with the boy I was doing drugs with, he also was very physically abusing, as so was I at this point. We broke up and I did everything I could not to go back to living with my father who ended up with enough money to buy a place in my name. I ended up living there for a while and nothing good came from it.
A lot of drinking and boyfriends and dumb shit happened and I was completely out of it until I got a DWI in late 2019. Really woke me up. I started wanting better for myself, knowing I could just didn’t know how. I got into YET ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP, and thought it was good for me, two years in we decided we were going to buy a home (23 years old at this point) we bought it and a lot was wrong with the house and clearly the boy I bought it with because he was into a really odd kink, had girls in his phone, and would not introduce me to his female friends. On top of that he did not doing ANYTHING to help me fix the home. A year into owning the home I broke up with him and lost my job. I was depressed for 7-8 months, got another job and about 1.5 years after the break up someone came up to me and asked me on a date. (I still lived with my ex in the house we own). (I was completely honest with him and up front about everything.)
He has shown me grace, kindness, and compassion. He had shown me a whole new perspective in life. He also had gone through a really traumatic past. Starting of the relationship was rough, I was feral and he gets defensive really easy. We have stuck this thing out and I am 7 months in therapy and he just had his first session in years today. I would like to consider this success. I just changed therapist because the one I had been going to wasn’t as good as I would’ve liked them to be. We are now 1.5 years in, and I’m still trying to figure myself out and currently won’t hear from the new therapist until the 21st of may. I’m struggling mentally but not half as bad as I used to. I guess I’m just looking for new perspectives and some positive words at this point. My boyfriend and I are on opposite schedules for the next 2.5 months and I can tell I’m still very co-dependent, in my head I’m hoping his new therapist doesn’t tell him we are not right for each other. I’m so full of stress and trauma it’s crazy. I don’t even know who I am or if I fully feel happy in any situation.
Any kind words would help. Sorry for the all over the place read.

(Sorry this will be long also sorry for the typos it’s really late while I’m typing this)
Long time lurker in this subreddit as I was hoping to get inspired by some of the users stories though the inspiration lasted only a few minutes. What I’m hoping to get out of this post is some guidance or a wake up call as I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom with no upward motion. I know I need to be better than this and I want to be better than this.
I’m a 26 year old African American male , still lives at home with his parents , no real job at the moment (currently applying) and I feel like all my life I have been persevering,inconsistent , and always playing catch up. But this officially feels like my last chance to lock in and stop messing around with my life. I’m currently on academic suspension from my 3rd year of a doctorate of pharmacy program and in the appeal process to get reinstated back into the program I also got my pharmacist intern license suspended until I get reinstated to school again which is kind of hindering me from getting a job in a pharmacy. I’m trying to take the steps to make myself ready to step back into school and get my act together though I DONT KNOW WHERE TO START!!! I have not told my friends or family about it because I feel like I’ve failed myself and them. I take full responsibility for this. however, the factors leading to this situation date back to 2020. My life felt like I was on the right trajectory I had a great physical and mental health relationship with myself, great connections with family and friends,I had investments, I was planning financially for the future ,I had my own business as a strength and conditioning specialist and worked at a physical therapy facility as an assistant I graduated college with a double major in public health and kinesiology with an emphasis in clinical movement i took the mcat didn’t do too well so I applied out of the country for med school was doing well for the first semester though I began having trouble with my significant other and felt as though we were drifting apart and the situation I felt we were all in at the time was a bit much and it took a toll on me academically and in the relationship trying to balance a fun romantic life with a medical program that I was supposed to dedicate 4-8 years of my life to ultimately lead to me getting dismissed from med school due to not passing to classes . Following this news my ex got a job out of state and moved while I was trying to find a new career shift or professional degree to obtain I immediately landed two pharmacy school interviews about a month after applying and got accepted to one of the schools this career choice was never in my cards as I’ve always wanted to have a doctorate degree and work on that level. Few weeks after that me and my ex had separated officially and it took a bigger toll on me than expected and manifested in the worst ways possible for me . Instead of seeking therapy I copped in other ways. It impacted me financially I bought a brand new Mercedes that took most of my money I was impatient with my investments and sold majority of my bitcoin thinking it wouldn’t go up again (L move) my credit score went from 750+ to low 500’s by placing myself into 15k credit card debt paying for alcohol & weed (exponentially more than what I had before), clothes , and random vacations and dates with women from hinge and tinder all on top of student loans for grad school. I developed a sex addiction and added over 100 bodies in a span of 2 years . Had a panic attack that put me in the ER . All while dragging my way through pharmacy school (I’m more than capable of understanding and implementing the material into practice my study habits and focus were always elsewhere). Not to mention I think I have a social media addiction and my procrastination and laziness has led me to feel more anxious and depressed. My physical fitness and diet has suffered thought not entirely that’s pretty much the only positive habit I have since 2020. I just feel like my life is leading to a path of no return and I’ll be homeless one day. I need to turn things around I can’t always think I’ll catch up I have to get ahead and stay ahead. I want to be person that makes myself proud and inspire other young African American men or anyone who’s had odds stacked against them. How do I turn this around?

Me and my fiance have lived at this residence for 9 months our lease is up in September and the landlord is a private landlord who lives in the home he's 20y/o and he told us on Saturday night he is calling his realtor tomorrow (sunday) and the house will be posted august 1st so it would be best if we can all be out by July so he could undergo fixing up the house to sell we pay 1200 a month for a room and attached bathroom. He said he's done with the drama because he recently moved in a child sex offender who hasn't been paying his rent and has been taking/using all of our food, laundry detergent, qtips? (And leaving the dirty qtips on the counter in the shared bathroom) Basically anything he can get his hands on. We live right down the street from an elementary school so legally he can't even live here. All the roommates hate him he is a mooch already owes me $200 for the groceries I bought and the piercings he guilted me into paying for with the promise to pay me back. He surprisingly does have a gf but she lives in another state and he legit cheated on her a week before she flew across the country to see him and she also was the one who payed a month of his rent btw she still doesn't know he fucked someone else btw. BUT ANYWAYS he (landlord) said he doesn't like how we all are hating on each other and blaming each other for things (the new roommate also has a tendency to leave crusty dishes in the sink and lock the one lock no one has a key to) and when we all point out none of these things were happening before this guy moved in he jumps to defend this guy. I have no clue why but at this point we are just looking for different housing there was an apartment perfectly in our budget that I wanted to tour tomorrow and I requested a specific unit literally earlier today my email got ignored and now it's taken off the website so I'm anxious to be able to afford other complexes we don't have a huge savings because we were planning on being here for a while longer and all of our money has gone into the wedding as of late so I dunno what's some good tips when it comes to apartments and no I'm not seeing landlord for breaking lease because at this point I would rather disconnect from this place entirely.
Edit: I also have bought all trash bags laundry detergent cleaning supplies and groceries in this house that all roommates use daily even ziplock bags (also they all game on console and guess who bought the AA batteries 🫣) so help me make a list of things that I could take to inconvenience them because I want to forget them but they shouldn't forget the person who's been a literal piggy bank and supply hauler for them

When I learned about 12th house placements, everything suddenly made sense. I’ve had friends who became enemies. people I barely know who try to take my ideas copy my art. i’ve had people who I thought were very close to me or people in positions of power who are meant to help me suddenly turn on me unexpectedly. Now that I know that I have a 12th Stellium in my sun, Mercury, and Jupiter in virgo everything makes sense. I often feel misunderstood yet for some reason there’s always people attempting to copy everything I do. I also have bouts of isolation. For example, I’m now in an academic setting and I’ve been studying for seven years. and academia I’ve dealt with plenty of people who have taken my ideas and publish papers. However, this trouble began way before adulthood.
For example, when I got older, my mother told me the story about when I was in preschool. my teacher would basically wear a clown mask and scare me and another child then lock us in the bathroom in the dark. The only reason why my mother found out was because the other child was having nightmares and the parent took them to the preschool to confront the staff and figure out what was going on, the other teacher finally let her know what our teacher was doing to us. Could you imagine doing this to a two year-old? growing up I had no idea this happened to me however I did have (what I thought was) an irrational fear of the dark until I was in high school and had to always sleep with a nightlight. It wasn’t until college that my mother finally told me this story. So then my fear that i did not remember was not irrational but deep with in my subconscious which seems to align with 12house themes.
When I was younger I often had adults who were suspicious of me for no reason. I was a quiet child and often very observant. I had a lot of anxiety because I could see through people in a way that others could not. At the time I did not know that this was the root of my anxiety. But now that I’m older, I know that when someone is aware that you see the parts of them that they are trying to hide, they become deeply uncomfortable with you. So this is something I often experience as a child.
In my dating life I’ve been a repository for broken people and often attract people who project an air of confidence, but are deeply insecure. I’ve had false starts and moment where I’ve stayed too long. And it seems in my dating life and with people around me there is often a projection they see me completely different than what I see myself. Of course this is not everybody and I’ve had friends who witnessed moments when people have done this to me. specifically people who are in positions of power I realize people were deeply insecure, will often see a mirror when they look at me they do not see me, but a reflection of their deepest Insecurities. This of course is both a blessing and a curse it seems I become a lesson in someway to those people without even meaning to.
I’ve also had bouts of isolation right now. I’m in academia where again I have to deal with people and their projections. Honestly, when the pandemic hit and I didn’t have to deal with people in person, my anxiety went down significantly, and I felt at peace. As soon as I was back on campus, the projections, the misunderstandings and hidden enemies surface. People who are supposed to be my colleagues were taking my ideas. One person I barely talk to you. I told them about my dissertation project and they published a whole paper. Another person who I worked with on on a different assignment ended up using my ideas for their whole dissertation. Anyways this is the end of my rant but do wonder does this ever get better?