Number story for subtraction
A Circlejerk of Ice and Fire
2012.04.09 16:33 Arthur_Dayne A Circlejerk of Ice and Fire
This is the most influential Thrones fan community in the world, relative to it's size. What this subreddit is about: Oh boy! Reddit Game of Thrones fans are a wacky bunch a shitsticks! Let's point and laugh. There are books too apparently, TL;DR.
2010.08.24 06:23 hero0fwar It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
A sub-reddit for the fans and critics of the show It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. Discussion of the show, pictures from the show and anything else.
2012.07.25 23:13 TehPaddy World's Grumpiest Subreddit
For anything about the YouTube gaming channel Game Grumps! Please read the rules before posting. *We are not affiliated with the Game Grumps. This is an unofficial Subreddit.*
2024.05.14 01:19 serot0nina__ I'm finally getting the girl (a wholesome post)
So I (20F) have known this girl, let's call her Em (fake name, 20F), for a whole bunch of years.
To be precise, we actually first met when we were little, but neither of us remembers it.
My mom has been friends with my "aunt" (not biological) since they were in high-school. As they grew older, of course, their families expanded. My aunt had three kids, who would be my cousins. Her mom's side of the family is from a another country that shares borders with ours. Her brother, who lives in said country, had 5 kids, four girls and one boy. We're unrelated. They're my "cousins" actual cousins.
Most of my family (this aunt and cousins included) live in another part of my country, so when I was a kid I used to go over the summer and stay most of it there to see everyone. It seems that when we were kids, we all hung out once, there's even a picture to prove it, but again, no one bellow age 25 remembers that.
Well one of those summers, when I was 14, I went to visit and went over to my aunt's for dinner. That's when Em and I kind of really met, and boy do I remember that.
We all said our hellos, and we sat down at the table, she was sitting across me. All night we made small that, and I really liked her.
I was always openly gay, never really had a "coming out of the closet", since no one in my family cares. They've always been supportive of me. Her family, though, it's a different story.
Her siblings are great, and they're also cool about that, but her parents (specially her mom) are catholics (if I remember correctly, her dad or one of their uncles is a preist) soooo yeah we weren't really openly flirting at the dinner table.
But then, us young ones went away to play cards. She was playing against me, 3 vs 3, only this time she was sitting almost beside me.
The stolen glances, the grazing of hands, the little smirks. I remember the way she looked at me, like she didn't understand what or why she was feeling something, but she knew she was. She found me attractive, but with the not-really-but-just-met situation and her parents, we just stuck with that. I only saw her once again that summer, same thing, only for a whole day. And then back in my hometown as they were passing through to go back to their country
We exchanged numbers, and when we talked she confessed she liked me, a lot, but didn't know what to do in that moment. It was new to her, though that didn't really bother her much. I remember she said something along the lines of "It’s like I was so mesmerized by you and at the same time so confused that I just froze, but I would've kissed you if we had seen each other again, and if it happens I will".
Well, six years passed.
Not being actually related and living in two different countries kind of made it impossible and of course, naturally, contact faded and every once in a while we'd talk again as if no time had passed.
Eventually she got a boyfriend, I had a few relationships two. Long term and serious on both accounts, but we never not talked at least a couple times a year (respectfully, of course).
I guess I never really stopped liking her, bjt it was more of a distant thing than anything else. Every time we talked tho it was great. We woukd catch up, open up about things we would otherwise keep quiet, etc. It's like we always gravitated back to each other, both in thought and in speaking terms (on both accounts).
Eventually, when she finished high-school, she followed her older siblings footsteps and moved to a city near mine to attend college, that was around a year or two ago.
She broke up with her boyfriend a few months back, I did so too.
And three days ago, I replied to a story she has uploaded on her insta and, well, here comes the best part.
We started talking, catching up, and I can't really remember why but the conversation eventually led to me saying I found her pretty. She replied it was mutual. I'll try to recall the conversation below.
"Wait, do you still like me after all these years?"
"Well, yeah, why wouldn't I?"
"I mean, we didn't see each other again, grew older and you even had a boyfriend, I thought maybe the feeling had passed for you"
"Yeah I mean I isolated myself a lot in that relationship, it sucked, but I never not liked you, nor forgot about you, it was just impossible"
"Well, it's not anymore. I still like you too, and I've been wanting this for years"
"So have I, I want to go see you"
I remember I told her that when I saw she had a boyfriend I didn't really wanna force or ruin anything cuz she seemed happy and I liked that, and she told me she would've left him in a heartbeat for me the second she'd known I still liked her.
We also talked about her family. She told me her mom actually found out about our little chat back in 2018 and got kind of mad, but Em told her to screw off and not go through her phone again, and that's the end of it. One of her sisters noticed then too, but just told her good for her and also never mentioned it again.
Then the same day I replied to her story, she had told her older sister and a friend of hers about me, since they were reminiscing about summers, told them she was still into me.
The rest of the conversation was one I'd never had with her. She told me she liked me, and what things. She thinks I'm pretty, she thinks I'm funny. Smart, talented, good. I honestly don't know if all l of it is true but to hear her so starstruck, just like when we were 14, made my heart skip a beat. It was adorable. And then, well, it derailed into a more... uhm... mature conversation about plans we had for each other? If you get what I mean lol.
And that's where we are now. We're both having exams right now so we're planning to meet up next week when we're done.
IM SO EXCITED!
We miss each other, and we've wanted to hang out for ages. Not only that, but her now openness to be with me and enjoy it is so both refreshing and adorable. She calls me names, compliments me, tells me she wants me.
I never would've thought it would actually happen, not at least for a few more years. I also wouldn't have thought that shy girl I met would be so openly flirty with me, even on voice messages.
She's told me about a hundred times already how much she's wanted this, that's she's so glad it's gonnaa finally happen, that she's wondered what it's like to kiss me ever since she met me.
It's mutual, it's all mutual.
I feel giddy, excited, and I definitely feel wanted, and it's amazing.
Just wanted to rant about it and her, she's honestly amazing and beautiful. Kind, smart. Her accent drives me crazy and when she speaks her native language I literally feel weak.
Six years. Six years always thinking about each other (and many of those times it's like we mind-called each other beacuse we'd end up talking again). The girl I've had a crush on for the longest and never got, and we finally have the space, place and time to do it. This is it, it's our moment. And I definitely plan to enjoy every minute of it. She's worth it. So, so worth it.
Have a nice day everyone, Imma go talk to her lol bye
submitted by serot0nina__ to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
To be precise, we actually first met when we were little, but neither of us remembers it.
My mom has been friends with my "aunt" (not biological) since they were in high-school. As they grew older, of course, their families expanded. My aunt had three kids, who would be my cousins. Her mom's side of the family is from a another country that shares borders with ours. Her brother, who lives in said country, had 5 kids, four girls and one boy. We're unrelated. They're my "cousins" actual cousins.
Most of my family (this aunt and cousins included) live in another part of my country, so when I was a kid I used to go over the summer and stay most of it there to see everyone. It seems that when we were kids, we all hung out once, there's even a picture to prove it, but again, no one bellow age 25 remembers that.
Well one of those summers, when I was 14, I went to visit and went over to my aunt's for dinner. That's when Em and I kind of really met, and boy do I remember that.
We all said our hellos, and we sat down at the table, she was sitting across me. All night we made small that, and I really liked her.
I was always openly gay, never really had a "coming out of the closet", since no one in my family cares. They've always been supportive of me. Her family, though, it's a different story.
Her siblings are great, and they're also cool about that, but her parents (specially her mom) are catholics (if I remember correctly, her dad or one of their uncles is a preist) soooo yeah we weren't really openly flirting at the dinner table.
But then, us young ones went away to play cards. She was playing against me, 3 vs 3, only this time she was sitting almost beside me.
The stolen glances, the grazing of hands, the little smirks. I remember the way she looked at me, like she didn't understand what or why she was feeling something, but she knew she was. She found me attractive, but with the not-really-but-just-met situation and her parents, we just stuck with that. I only saw her once again that summer, same thing, only for a whole day. And then back in my hometown as they were passing through to go back to their country
We exchanged numbers, and when we talked she confessed she liked me, a lot, but didn't know what to do in that moment. It was new to her, though that didn't really bother her much. I remember she said something along the lines of "It’s like I was so mesmerized by you and at the same time so confused that I just froze, but I would've kissed you if we had seen each other again, and if it happens I will".
Well, six years passed.
Not being actually related and living in two different countries kind of made it impossible and of course, naturally, contact faded and every once in a while we'd talk again as if no time had passed.
Eventually she got a boyfriend, I had a few relationships two. Long term and serious on both accounts, but we never not talked at least a couple times a year (respectfully, of course).
I guess I never really stopped liking her, bjt it was more of a distant thing than anything else. Every time we talked tho it was great. We woukd catch up, open up about things we would otherwise keep quiet, etc. It's like we always gravitated back to each other, both in thought and in speaking terms (on both accounts).
Eventually, when she finished high-school, she followed her older siblings footsteps and moved to a city near mine to attend college, that was around a year or two ago.
She broke up with her boyfriend a few months back, I did so too.
And three days ago, I replied to a story she has uploaded on her insta and, well, here comes the best part.
We started talking, catching up, and I can't really remember why but the conversation eventually led to me saying I found her pretty. She replied it was mutual. I'll try to recall the conversation below.
"Wait, do you still like me after all these years?"
"Well, yeah, why wouldn't I?"
"I mean, we didn't see each other again, grew older and you even had a boyfriend, I thought maybe the feeling had passed for you"
"Yeah I mean I isolated myself a lot in that relationship, it sucked, but I never not liked you, nor forgot about you, it was just impossible"
"Well, it's not anymore. I still like you too, and I've been wanting this for years"
"So have I, I want to go see you"
I remember I told her that when I saw she had a boyfriend I didn't really wanna force or ruin anything cuz she seemed happy and I liked that, and she told me she would've left him in a heartbeat for me the second she'd known I still liked her.
We also talked about her family. She told me her mom actually found out about our little chat back in 2018 and got kind of mad, but Em told her to screw off and not go through her phone again, and that's the end of it. One of her sisters noticed then too, but just told her good for her and also never mentioned it again.
Then the same day I replied to her story, she had told her older sister and a friend of hers about me, since they were reminiscing about summers, told them she was still into me.
The rest of the conversation was one I'd never had with her. She told me she liked me, and what things. She thinks I'm pretty, she thinks I'm funny. Smart, talented, good. I honestly don't know if all l of it is true but to hear her so starstruck, just like when we were 14, made my heart skip a beat. It was adorable. And then, well, it derailed into a more... uhm... mature conversation about plans we had for each other? If you get what I mean lol.
And that's where we are now. We're both having exams right now so we're planning to meet up next week when we're done.
IM SO EXCITED!
We miss each other, and we've wanted to hang out for ages. Not only that, but her now openness to be with me and enjoy it is so both refreshing and adorable. She calls me names, compliments me, tells me she wants me.
I never would've thought it would actually happen, not at least for a few more years. I also wouldn't have thought that shy girl I met would be so openly flirty with me, even on voice messages.
She's told me about a hundred times already how much she's wanted this, that's she's so glad it's gonnaa finally happen, that she's wondered what it's like to kiss me ever since she met me.
It's mutual, it's all mutual.
I feel giddy, excited, and I definitely feel wanted, and it's amazing.
Just wanted to rant about it and her, she's honestly amazing and beautiful. Kind, smart. Her accent drives me crazy and when she speaks her native language I literally feel weak.
Six years. Six years always thinking about each other (and many of those times it's like we mind-called each other beacuse we'd end up talking again). The girl I've had a crush on for the longest and never got, and we finally have the space, place and time to do it. This is it, it's our moment. And I definitely plan to enjoy every minute of it. She's worth it. So, so worth it.
Have a nice day everyone, Imma go talk to her lol bye
2024.05.14 01:19 Responsible-Arm-6588 I (male) is a really bad liar,depressed,really low confidence, and my ex bsf did most of the damage
This probably isn’t the right subreddit but I got banned from vent for some reason. The title didn’t mean I’m just like a dick that spreads misinformation I meant I lie about myself. So I’m going to explain when I first noticed I physically can’t tell the whole truth about myself and my whole thing so this is going to be so long. So in 5th grade I hated school and I would cry to my mom begging not to go and eventually my attendance was so bad they threatened to take my parents to court. The school got me a counselor I would see once a week to talk about my problems and help my attendance, it did help my attendance but still lots of hours missed. When I first had my counselor I would tell them the truth that I was afraid of school and wanted friends and all my problems with school. I had this counselor in the summer and 6th grade. At first 6th grade was hard for me and my attendance became pretty bad again even with the counselor. I was able to bring my attendance and grades up a little bit and my anxiety started to go away once I made my first friend that year towards the end of 6th grade. Me and my friend hung out at his house and eventually we made a group of friends and we were all chill and I was pretty happy. That summer we went to carnival together and we had a couple sleepovers, there was no beef and it was pretty nice. The end of the summer I still had my counselor and the next school year started, 7th grade. I remember being really nervous because I everyone I knew said that 7th grade was the worst year of their life’s and the school year was gonna suck. The year started out pretty good we were all still friends and so far it wasn’t as bad as everyone said. By November me and one of the guys in the group got really close we were homies. We would call everyday after school and play Xbox and shit. I remember towards the end of November I started liking this girl in one of my classes. I never really had friends when I had crushes before this so I would just look at them in class never talk to them,get their number, etc. my friends started to notice that I liked someone and kept trying to get it out of me. The one guy that I got really good friends with in the group told me that he liked a girl to and we should tell eachother. I eventually gave in and told him on Snapchat. I told him and he told me. I thought it would some quick thing and we would move on. The next day at school all he did would tease me about it and act like he would tell her. I know that it is normal so I was fine with it because I thought he would tease me for a couple days and that’s it. He ended up teasing me for the rest of November and December and I didn’t do anything about it. We went into winter break and I got the girls snap (not by asking her just finding her on my quick add.). Me and my best friend from the group would continue playing Xbox all day and hanging out over winter break. At the time (December 2022) I had pretty low confidence in my hair because it was just some flat straight side part and I got some sea salt spray for Christmas that made my hair the fluffy hair i always wanted and I got a confidence booster even though I was still fat and ugly. I came back to school with my hair looking really good and got some compliments and I was pretty happy. My best friend that would tease me about my crush would start taking really bad pictures of me and horrible ss of my face on FaceTime and would post it on his story where my crush was added on his account. Obviously he was doing this to be a dick and lower my self esteem. I started to notice around February that my best friend was a complete dick but I thought it was funny and kept being friends with him. In February i started to get a little popular and people had a nickname for me and I knew that they didn’t actually like me and it was like a joke. Also at this time my best friend convinced the rest of the group to sit at the table next to his crush. We did and my crush happened to sit a couple tables away from us and Im not sure if he made us sit there because of that or because his actual crush. Also around this time my best friend convinced me to unfriend someone from the group and I did. I felt really bad for him and I still talked to him. When the best friend found this out he basically said over text when we were on the bus that I feel betrayed and we are done being friends. I was so upset and while I was on the bus I looked at his story and it’s him exposing all my secrets. Everything I told him was on his story. My crushes name, my dark secrets, everything. He also posted most of the bad pictures and apparently when I told him crushes name in November he was doing some glitch where he could ss and not tell me. I just turned off my phone and was holding back tears on the bus full of people, when the bus got to my stop I just quickly and quietly walked off the bus and walked to my house. I was mortified and just went to my room and cried, the hardest I cried since 5th grade. I thought my life was ruined. He called me and said he deleted the stories before anyone saw them and I became his friend again🤦♂️. I was scared because he had the other horrible photos of me. Shortly after i just forgot about the story and me and him and his crush and her friend hung out. We just got ice cream and went to a playground.his crush handed me a vape and told me to hit it. I don’t want to seem like a pussy so i did. I didn’t inhale it and apparently she was recording and sent it to my best friend. Later that night I saw the video on his story and was mortified and told him to delete it and he refused and the next day at school everyone was making fun of me for a month. It was so embarrassing. The thing that pissed me off the most about it was the fact that half of the school vapes and no one made fun of them. I never told my counselor about it and she thought I was doing good enough to end her being my counselor. That is when I truly noticed that I’m a really bad liar. She thought I was doing my best even though I was at my worst. The rest of the school year went okay but since I was kinda popular I started to get bullied more and more about my weight. All my best friend did was make fun of me even though he was fat too. People started to take pictures of me in class and sent to their story and me to make fun of me. I started to go to the gym and some kid would help me out With my diet and at the gym. Me and him started to become friends and he convinced me to join the football team the following school year. So I got a physical at the end of 7th grade and was determined to join the football team. I wanted to gain respect,become more confident, lose weight, become stronger,faster,etc.so at the end of the school year I became kind of happy again. My family was praising me because I would go to the gym. I wanted to lose like 30 pounds in like 2 months or something crazy like that. The start of the summer was good, i would work out a few times a week. In late June my whole dad’s side of the family pays for a week in a really good and big air b&b and it’s really fun. My best friend and I didn’t talk much during the first half of the summer and he kept trying to call me when I was swimming, fishing, talking with my whole family,etc. and I got pissed and texted him something along the lines of “can you fuck off im on vacation get off my dick.” And he left me on opened and really didn’t talk for the rest of the summer. I realized my gym partner was a dick along too and wasn’t trying to help me at all. Long story short I lost a few pounds by the start of football season. The first practices were really hard and I hated it. But by a couple weeks in I started to get more stamina and strength. By a month into footballl season my ankles were really fucked up because the only cardio I did during that summer was jog a mile or something but in practice we run so much in heavy pads and uncomfortable cleats. I was never good I was always a back up. I had practice every single day after school was so tired but couldn’t quit. My best friend who was a dick that me and him started to drift away from each other thought we were still homies the next school year and I didn’t want to tell him that we aren’t cool any more so I just acted like we were chill and then was at practice for 2 hours after school then went home and had to do homework and repeat the next day. I hated my life at this point so much. I didn’t enjoy playing football, I sucked at it and was made fun of for it, etc. towards the end of the football season I got hit really hard and went to a head doctor appointment a couple days later and had a concussion. So I basically just quit the football team. Everyone on the team called me a pussy and said I quit even when I told them I had a concussion. I would go home after school in the first time in months. I realized I was so depressed and how I have no one I can trust. There was no classes with any friends, either my class was complete assholes or weirdos. Lunch was awkward because of my “best friend” thinking we were still locked in. There was no good part of the day for me I hated the way I felt but I would lie if someone asked if I was good. At this point it was October and I was in the verge of suicide. There was no good part of the day, I go home get yelled at for my grades eat and cry myself to sleep. I realized I was going to end my life if I didn’t get out of my school. I found an online school and started to beg my parents to put me in online school. They immediately refused but after a month and half of begging they agreed. I started the school by end November and was really happy for a couple of weeks then started to become depressed again by end of December. Now in may im more depressed than I ever was, I’m not suicidal but I have no friends and not going to talk to my parents about what im going through . I feel so alone I have full on conversations with myself and my lying is so bad I lie to myself went I’m venting to myself. I hate myself so much that I can’t even tell the truth to myself and it’s so bad. I make the situation sound better in my head but it’s not. I think online school was a mistake but if I stayed in the school I was in I probably would have taken my own life by now. I can only think my best friend was just praying on my downfall and he won. I am moving to a new town later this summer and I’m hoping I can start a new life there and not be such a pushover. I’m sorry that this is so long and bad grammar. This is more than just low confidence and lying but I need to talk about myself. If you read this thank you
submitted by Responsible-Arm-6588 to Advice [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 01:18 Far-Masterpiece9070 WIBTAH I I had one last fling with my FWB
WIBTAH
Hi I am new to Reddit but watch a lot of reaction videos and thought this might be a good place to get some advice. I hope at least.
My BF (55m) and I (44f) have been dating for a few months. We have known each other for 6 years and have been, for lack of a better term FWB. It kind of an involved story where we went out on 3 dates, he never texted me and for some reason we keep finding each other again and again. I’ve been in puppy love with him for 6 years.
Now my BF “Keith” and I had a kind of wild night the night we started dating it’s a weird and graphic story but he basically stole me from my then boyfriend when we all met up because they both had own the same car (the exact same car, like vin number same vehicle, it was weird). During the festivities, so to speak that night, Keith told me he loved me and I left with him and kind of left my now ex boyfriend hanging (I am an AH for that and I know it, but Keith and I… well I felt were destiny or fate or meant to be or whatever).
When we started the dating process we agree to some ground rules. We could have outside the relationship physical relationships on one day a week and when one of us is out of town. We are also allowed to swing together. I agreed to this very early on.
I expected us to maybe go out on dates on the weekend and start slow. Well that didn’t go as I thought and we spend almost every night together. We constantly tell each other “I love you” and do the mundane like watch TV and go grocery shopping. We are like a real committed couple at this point. We also a a wonderful daily + life in the bedroom. We really enjoy each other physically. So there is no issue there.
The open relationship started bothering me. More so when he came back from a business trip with a hickey on his neck. Like seriously in tears freak out. We didn’t argue but really discussed it and we decided to drop the once a week free time, but he wanted to keep his out of town free time. I am not exactly happy with this plan. I would prefer that we only have physical relationships together. But he told me I was being hypocritical because I was engaged in such acts as well when he was out of town. I own that and the next trip, I actually didn’t because I didn’t want to be a hypocrite. I also expressed to him how much it hurt me that he was still doing it and his response was “I’m sorry you’re hurting” I don’t know what or if he did anything on the last trip. I just try not to think about it. I live in my delusion of believing he wouldn’t but he never said he didn’t. Whatever I’m not sure it matters.
Part of what matters is that he stay in contact during these trips. Like tell me good morning and I love you and text me when you get back to your room so we can chat about our day. He has an important job and I know he is busy and networking and meeting with people during these trips, so I try to stay out of his way and let him get in touch with me. Well last trip he barely spoke to me and didn’t really do anything I asked him to. But it is what it is he was busy. But it hurts me to think that he is with some random at the hotel bar instead of texting me. Like I become completely unimportant on these trips.
I’m getting better about and he actually had 3 7 day trips in the first two months so it was early on and whatever.
Now he has his own jealousy. He will never admit to it but he is jealous of another FWB of mine that I have know as long as I have known as long as I have known Keith (they have been aware of each other for years but it never mattered because we were just FWB). Me and “Joey” (55m) have never been in a relationship and have never seen each other outside of his house. I do have feelings for him and have asked him to think about dating me several times. Keith knows this and gets very upset when I said anything about him. Joey waited until after I was dating Keith and told me he had feelings for me because why shouldn’t two men I have been ignored by for half a decade suddenly decide they love me at the same time. So be it. I told Joey not to put me in that position and he has been very cool about it since. Keith also got jealous because my exboyfriend that he so gracefully stole me from with a handshake a the words “I’m keeping her” texted me to see if Keith and I were together still. I told him we were and he said congrats. Keith got uncomfortable and a little weird about it and said he was trying to get back with me. Like yes he was, but I told Keith I went home with him that night and not to worry about it.
Now, guess who is going out of town this coming weekend, Ya guessed it, Keith. I know what is going to happen and I again am trying not to think about it and stress about it. But it also happens to coincidentally be a big weekend for Joey as it is his 10 year sober birthday and he has told me I am the only one who ever remembers. I really want to see Joey to celebrate.
I know me continuing to have a physical only relationship and friendship with Joey hurts Keith. I know that I am a hypocrite for wanting Keith to not have a physical relationship on business trips when I am doing the same. But this is really a huge special milestone for Joey and I want to spend it with him and know for a fact it will be physical. I want that. I will say though I have explicitly told Joey this might be the last time we see each other.
I am ridiculously happy with Keith he is the love of my life. We are actually coming up on the planned time we were going to reassess the open relationship when we started it. He makes me really happy, with the exception of the times he is out of town.
WIBTA IF have one more fling with Joey
tl;dr I have an open relationship should i utilize it and be with a guy my boyfriend is jealous of?
submitted by Far-Masterpiece9070 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Hi I am new to Reddit but watch a lot of reaction videos and thought this might be a good place to get some advice. I hope at least.
My BF (55m) and I (44f) have been dating for a few months. We have known each other for 6 years and have been, for lack of a better term FWB. It kind of an involved story where we went out on 3 dates, he never texted me and for some reason we keep finding each other again and again. I’ve been in puppy love with him for 6 years.
Now my BF “Keith” and I had a kind of wild night the night we started dating it’s a weird and graphic story but he basically stole me from my then boyfriend when we all met up because they both had own the same car (the exact same car, like vin number same vehicle, it was weird). During the festivities, so to speak that night, Keith told me he loved me and I left with him and kind of left my now ex boyfriend hanging (I am an AH for that and I know it, but Keith and I… well I felt were destiny or fate or meant to be or whatever).
When we started the dating process we agree to some ground rules. We could have outside the relationship physical relationships on one day a week and when one of us is out of town. We are also allowed to swing together. I agreed to this very early on.
I expected us to maybe go out on dates on the weekend and start slow. Well that didn’t go as I thought and we spend almost every night together. We constantly tell each other “I love you” and do the mundane like watch TV and go grocery shopping. We are like a real committed couple at this point. We also a a wonderful daily + life in the bedroom. We really enjoy each other physically. So there is no issue there.
The open relationship started bothering me. More so when he came back from a business trip with a hickey on his neck. Like seriously in tears freak out. We didn’t argue but really discussed it and we decided to drop the once a week free time, but he wanted to keep his out of town free time. I am not exactly happy with this plan. I would prefer that we only have physical relationships together. But he told me I was being hypocritical because I was engaged in such acts as well when he was out of town. I own that and the next trip, I actually didn’t because I didn’t want to be a hypocrite. I also expressed to him how much it hurt me that he was still doing it and his response was “I’m sorry you’re hurting” I don’t know what or if he did anything on the last trip. I just try not to think about it. I live in my delusion of believing he wouldn’t but he never said he didn’t. Whatever I’m not sure it matters.
Part of what matters is that he stay in contact during these trips. Like tell me good morning and I love you and text me when you get back to your room so we can chat about our day. He has an important job and I know he is busy and networking and meeting with people during these trips, so I try to stay out of his way and let him get in touch with me. Well last trip he barely spoke to me and didn’t really do anything I asked him to. But it is what it is he was busy. But it hurts me to think that he is with some random at the hotel bar instead of texting me. Like I become completely unimportant on these trips.
I’m getting better about and he actually had 3 7 day trips in the first two months so it was early on and whatever.
Now he has his own jealousy. He will never admit to it but he is jealous of another FWB of mine that I have know as long as I have known as long as I have known Keith (they have been aware of each other for years but it never mattered because we were just FWB). Me and “Joey” (55m) have never been in a relationship and have never seen each other outside of his house. I do have feelings for him and have asked him to think about dating me several times. Keith knows this and gets very upset when I said anything about him. Joey waited until after I was dating Keith and told me he had feelings for me because why shouldn’t two men I have been ignored by for half a decade suddenly decide they love me at the same time. So be it. I told Joey not to put me in that position and he has been very cool about it since. Keith also got jealous because my exboyfriend that he so gracefully stole me from with a handshake a the words “I’m keeping her” texted me to see if Keith and I were together still. I told him we were and he said congrats. Keith got uncomfortable and a little weird about it and said he was trying to get back with me. Like yes he was, but I told Keith I went home with him that night and not to worry about it.
Now, guess who is going out of town this coming weekend, Ya guessed it, Keith. I know what is going to happen and I again am trying not to think about it and stress about it. But it also happens to coincidentally be a big weekend for Joey as it is his 10 year sober birthday and he has told me I am the only one who ever remembers. I really want to see Joey to celebrate.
I know me continuing to have a physical only relationship and friendship with Joey hurts Keith. I know that I am a hypocrite for wanting Keith to not have a physical relationship on business trips when I am doing the same. But this is really a huge special milestone for Joey and I want to spend it with him and know for a fact it will be physical. I want that. I will say though I have explicitly told Joey this might be the last time we see each other.
I am ridiculously happy with Keith he is the love of my life. We are actually coming up on the planned time we were going to reassess the open relationship when we started it. He makes me really happy, with the exception of the times he is out of town.
WIBTA IF have one more fling with Joey
tl;dr I have an open relationship should i utilize it and be with a guy my boyfriend is jealous of?
2024.05.14 01:08 ServeLivid7225 Given 5 years ban at border entry
Hey everyone,
I’m hoping to get some advice here, so bear with me as this is a bit of a long story. I got hit with a 5-year ban at the U.S. border because the officer thought I was trying to reunite with my ex-wife and get a job through her. Just to give some context, I was on a B1/B2 5-year visit visa, living and working in the UK, and this was my first time visiting the U.S. since my divorce.
So, here's the backstory: I got married to a U.S. citizen, and we initially planned to go through the spouse visa process. But unfortunately, things went south because of her infidelity while I was in the UK. We decided to get divorced, and since she’s a lawyer, the whole process was pretty quick. Everything was done over Zoom; I wasn’t even present in court due to some engagements, but it didn’t really matter since all the paperwork was signed and the Zoom court session was just a formality. For reference, we weren’t even married for a year, though we dated for over three years before deciding to tie the knot, hoping to be together.
I moved to the UK for my MSc while waiting for the visa process, but the distance and her infidelity took a toll, and she asked for a divorce, likely to move on with someone new. I didn’t object. We finalized our divorce and went our separate ways. I continued with my MSc program in the UK, and though we were apart, we still had each other’s numbers and stayed in touch occasionally.
Fast forward to me deciding to give the U.S. visit visa a try, and I got it. In our conversations, I mentioned to her that I got the visa and was planning a trip to the U.S. This led to us talking more, and she kept suggesting ways for me to stay in the country, even sending me daily U.S. job applications to apply for from the UK. On the day I was supposed to fly to the U.S., she offered to pick me up from the airport, and I didn’t see any harm in that since I thought we were still good friends despite the divorce.
But things went south at the border. The immigration officer questioned me hard about my visit, took my phone, and saw our conversations. It ended with me getting deported back to the UK and slapped with a 5-year U.S. ban. This whole experience was a massive blow to my mental health. I got seriously depressed, and to top it off, my ex-wife messaged me later saying she was cutting all ties with me and then blocked me.
I haven’t fully recovered from the depression caused by all this. Every time I think about how it all went down, I get really sad. Recently, my ex-wife reached out again to tell me she’s remarried to someone in the U.S. I’m back in the UK, trying to rebuild my life and see what I can do here since I have legal status, but I can’t help feeling down about the whole situation.
My experience at the U.S. border was traumatic; I even spent a night in a holding cell before being sent back. My ex-wife suggested I move on with my life and maybe seek help from communities like this to figure out how to overturn the visa ban.
I’m slowly getting my life back on track, but I really want to overturn the 5-year ban and don’t even know where to start. I’m also considering applying for a Canada PR visa from the UK or even trying the visit visa again, but having this ban hanging over me is really affecting me. I’m feeling depressed and struggling to move forward.
Any advice or guidance you all could offer would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read my story.
submitted by ServeLivid7225 to canadatravel [link] [comments]
I’m hoping to get some advice here, so bear with me as this is a bit of a long story. I got hit with a 5-year ban at the U.S. border because the officer thought I was trying to reunite with my ex-wife and get a job through her. Just to give some context, I was on a B1/B2 5-year visit visa, living and working in the UK, and this was my first time visiting the U.S. since my divorce.
So, here's the backstory: I got married to a U.S. citizen, and we initially planned to go through the spouse visa process. But unfortunately, things went south because of her infidelity while I was in the UK. We decided to get divorced, and since she’s a lawyer, the whole process was pretty quick. Everything was done over Zoom; I wasn’t even present in court due to some engagements, but it didn’t really matter since all the paperwork was signed and the Zoom court session was just a formality. For reference, we weren’t even married for a year, though we dated for over three years before deciding to tie the knot, hoping to be together.
I moved to the UK for my MSc while waiting for the visa process, but the distance and her infidelity took a toll, and she asked for a divorce, likely to move on with someone new. I didn’t object. We finalized our divorce and went our separate ways. I continued with my MSc program in the UK, and though we were apart, we still had each other’s numbers and stayed in touch occasionally.
Fast forward to me deciding to give the U.S. visit visa a try, and I got it. In our conversations, I mentioned to her that I got the visa and was planning a trip to the U.S. This led to us talking more, and she kept suggesting ways for me to stay in the country, even sending me daily U.S. job applications to apply for from the UK. On the day I was supposed to fly to the U.S., she offered to pick me up from the airport, and I didn’t see any harm in that since I thought we were still good friends despite the divorce.
But things went south at the border. The immigration officer questioned me hard about my visit, took my phone, and saw our conversations. It ended with me getting deported back to the UK and slapped with a 5-year U.S. ban. This whole experience was a massive blow to my mental health. I got seriously depressed, and to top it off, my ex-wife messaged me later saying she was cutting all ties with me and then blocked me.
I haven’t fully recovered from the depression caused by all this. Every time I think about how it all went down, I get really sad. Recently, my ex-wife reached out again to tell me she’s remarried to someone in the U.S. I’m back in the UK, trying to rebuild my life and see what I can do here since I have legal status, but I can’t help feeling down about the whole situation.
My experience at the U.S. border was traumatic; I even spent a night in a holding cell before being sent back. My ex-wife suggested I move on with my life and maybe seek help from communities like this to figure out how to overturn the visa ban.
I’m slowly getting my life back on track, but I really want to overturn the 5-year ban and don’t even know where to start. I’m also considering applying for a Canada PR visa from the UK or even trying the visit visa again, but having this ban hanging over me is really affecting me. I’m feeling depressed and struggling to move forward.
Any advice or guidance you all could offer would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read my story.
2024.05.14 01:06 Albannach5446 [Theory] Music explains itself
"Music explains itself. It is the road and the map that shows the road."BLUF: Kvothe knows the name of music.
"Can you explain how music works without using music?"
That brought me up short.
When Elodin is teaching Kvothe about naming, we have this discussion about how there are some things that can't be explained and that naming helps us to understand them anyway.
"The majority of important things cannot be said outright," Elodin said. "They cannot be made explicit. They can only be implied." He looked... around the lecture hall. "Name something that cannot be explained."To dig a bit deeper, let's go to the frame story.
...
"Naming?" Fenton asked.
"That is a cheap answer Re'lar," Elodin said with a hint of reproach. "But you correctly anticipate the theme of my lecture so we will let it slide." He pointed at me.
"There isn't anything that can't be explained," I said firmly. "If something can be understood, it can be explained. A person might not be able to do a good job of explaining it. But that just means it's hard, not that it's impossible."
Elodin held up a finger. "Not hard or impossible. Merely pointless. Some things can only be inferred." He gave me an infuriating smile. "By the way, your answer should have been music."
"Music explains itself," I said. "It is the road and it is the map that shows the road. It is both together."
"But can you explain how music works?" Elodin asked.
"Of course," I said. Though I wasn't sure of any such thing.
"Can you explain how music works without using music?"
That brought me up short.
...he added a small, frightened silence to the larger, hollow one. They made an alloy of sorts, a harmony.So Kvothe knows the name of something that has no name. Speaking the name of a thing which has no name leaves only... silence. Which can apparently create harmonies. To be clear, I don't think actual silence is the name of music, because that doesn't make sense, it's not a name. I think that silence is needed to heaknow the name of music because music is its own name. Maybe not all of it, not every piece, but music's name can only be "spoken" through music.
"...and the final ring was without name."
Okay whatever, fairly flimsy, I know, but for the sake of argument assume I'm right. How does Kvothe know the name of music? Yes he's a very accomplished musician, but there are many more who are as or more accomplished even just in Imre. To know a name, you need to learn about a thing for days, weeks, sometimes years. Long enough that your sleeping mind awakens and absorbs all that there is to know about it. If only there was a period of Kvothe's life where his waking mind was asleep and he did nothing but play music for hours on end...
...my mind used the first door [the door of sleep] to numb the pain. The wound was covered until the proper time for healing could come. In self-defense, a good portion of my mind simply stopped working - went to sleep, if you will.To me, this is similar to the way he describes watching the wind until he saw its patterns and thus learning its name.
Of course I played. It was my only solace.
Eventually I could play from when I woke until the time I slept.
I began to play something other than songs... I would play until I got the feeling right.
I remember spending three whole days trying to capture Wind Turning a Leaf.
Somewhere in the third month, I stopped looking outside and started looking inside for things to play.
But hang on, music can't be it's own name, then everyone would be hearing a name every time it's played. That would surely do something to them; names have an effect on people after all. They stir something in them, make them feel moved strangely (see: whenever Elodin speaks; when a name is spoken but the person hearing it doesn't know the name; etc). If only music did the same thing.
"Thin, Albannach, very thin," I hear you say. And I'm with you. Surely, if Kvothe knew the name of music it would have more of effect on him. Let us turn to when he calls the wind the first time:
He looked at me. His dark eyes steadied me somewhat. Slowed the storm inside me. "Aerlevsedi," he said. "Say it."Is there a parallel with music? When is there not in this story. Many times, Kvothe refers to his music keeping him grounded and sane. Besides the detail above about him playing during his time in the woods and it allowing his mind to heal, I'll pick out one or two. After he got his lute back when Denna took it:
"What?" Simmon said somewhere in the distant background. "Wind?"
"Aerlevsedi" Elodin repeated patiently, his dark eyes intent upon my face.
"Aerlevsedi," I said numbly.
...
His eyes caught mine. The numbness faded, but the storm still turned inside my head. Then Elodin's eyes changed. He stopped looking toward me and looked into me. ... He leaned forward and his lips brushed my ear. I felt his breath. He spoke... and the storm stilled. I found a place to land."
"With my lute back in my hands, the rest of my life slid easily back into balance.Or playing at the Eolian:
"Offstage I worry and sweat. Onstage I am calm as a windless winter night."Going back to the initial evidence about the discussion with Elodin. That comment about the road and the map that shows it is interesting. Sounds a bit like his chat with Tempi about the Lethani.
"What is the purpose of the Lethani?" Tempi asked.A slight addendum theory that plays into the bigger picture here: the Lethani is a way to invoke the mental state Kvothe calls Spinning Leaf, which enables people to better know/learn names, as we see Kvothe do multiple times. This is not an accident. The Adem, like the Edema, are descended of the first namers, and the Lethani comes from that heritage... just as music comes from the Edema heritage. The Edema music comes from Illien (who could be any number of namers/shapers who pop up in the stories: Lanre, Tarborlin, Iax, etc). What better evidence that music is its own name than the greatest Ruh (equivalently, the greatest of what became of the original namers) being the greatest musician travelling the world to show people the way.
"To give us a path to follow?" I replied.
"No," Tempi said sternly. "The Lethani is not a path."
"What is the purpose of the Lethani, Tempi?"
"To guide us in our actions. By following the Lethani, you act rightly."
"Is this not a path?"
"No. The Lethani is what helps us choose a path."
In summary: music is its own name and to hear it and know it you need silence. Why else would Kvothe keep silence so heavy around himself at the Inn? (yes okay I know there's lots of other reasons he might but that's not the point of this theory)
2024.05.14 01:02 strawbanana1 I was sextorted recently
Long story short I'm 18m and I was sextorted by someone claiming to be a 19f. Ended up giving into their demands and paying 500$
Ik I shouldn’t have paid them but they also left behind some information while doing that. Info like phone numbers and email addresses along with cashapp Venmo and paypal info is there anything I can do with that.
Already filing out a ic3 form but is that all I can do and hope for the best
submitted by strawbanana1 to Sextortion [link] [comments]
Ik I shouldn’t have paid them but they also left behind some information while doing that. Info like phone numbers and email addresses along with cashapp Venmo and paypal info is there anything I can do with that.
Already filing out a ic3 form but is that all I can do and hope for the best
2024.05.14 01:01 MerkadoBarkada COMING UP: This week; PH: OGP 1st week; PH: BSP rate decision; PH: UBP SRO start; INT'L: US April inflation; OceanaGold falls 6% in 1st day of trading; CREIT, MREIT, and FILRT declare Q1 divs (Tuesday, May 14)
Happy Tuesday, Barkada --
The PSE gained 92 points to 6604 ▲1.4%
Shout-out to Atot for saving the Inside the Boardroom special [MB link] for their "lunch read" (at least it's not a porcelain chair?), to Trina Cerdenia for retweeting the ITB episode with highlights, to Tenkan Sen for noting the bloodbath that has been the recent (and even not-so-recent) IPO market, to Just'n for recognizing that in most cases a secondary IPO is for exit liquidity, to Enrico P. Villanueva for mentioning the ITB article as a jumping-off point for further research and analysis, to Jonathan Burac for providing interesting background on auditors and former-auditors as Independent Directors, to kalel.RON for having their mind blown by my reveal that I'm not Matteo Guidicelli (deep cut for the OGs), to Tirador for the straight-forward review ("pangit an ipo yan"), and to arkitrader for the Monday vibes GIF.Thanks also to the many readers who wrote in privately with praise, follow-up questions, and comments about yesterday's Inside the Boardroom special episode with OceanaGold PH's President, Joan Adaci-Cattiling. I won't list your names because you didn't choose to make your comments public, but I appreciate all of the notes that I've received and it's encouraging to see the interesting in the ITB series. Thank you!
Just for background, the Inside the Boardroom series takes a lot of extra work to organize, conduct the interview, and write the content for each episode. MB does not receive anything in return for an Inside the Boardroom interview; I only ask for direct access to the c-suite executive and the understanding that all questions that I ask will be direct (not trying to avoid unfavorable parts), to-the-point (not flowery), and without honorifics or deference (no titles or fawning).
I have a great amount of respect for companies and executives that agree to those terms, as there are many companies here that would never in a million years allow their executives to speak publicly, let alone on topics that are not 100% positive and dripping with marketing talking points.
OK, enough of that, let's get to the new stuff!
▌In today's MB:
- COMING UP: This week
- PH: OGP 1st week
- PH: BSP rate decision
- PH: UBP SRO start
- INT'L: US April inflation
- OceanaGold falls 6% in 1st day of trading
- CREIT, MREIT, and FILRT declare Q1 divs
- FMETF halted due to broken price tracker
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MB is written and distributed every trading day. The newsletter is 100% free and I never upsell you to some "iNnEr cIrClE" of paid-membership perks. Everyone gets the same! Join the barkada by signing up for the newsletter, or follow me on Twitter. You can also read my daily Morning Halo-halo content on Philstar.com in the Stock Commentary section.
- [COMING_UP] The week ahead... PH: While we had the OceanaGold PH [OGP 12.50 ▼6.2%; 100% avgVol] IPO yesterday, the biggest waves will be made on Thursday when the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP) meets to evaluate our interest rate situation. The Union Bank [UBP 34.60 ▼6.0%; 83% avgVol] stock rights offer period will also start on Thursday. International: The only datapoint that I’m following for this week is the US April inflation report, which we should get early Thursday morning.
- MB: The inflation metagame is where my mind’s at these days, and that’s all about inflation expectations. Not so much where inflation “is”, but where people (and companies) think inflation “will be” in the future. Inflation expectations matter because they can cause dramatic changes. For individuals, expectations of higher inflation can lead to changes in purchasing behavior and higher wage demands. For corporations, expectations of higher inflation can cause companies to increase their prices. I think you can see why the US Federal Reserve and the BSP are most afraid of these expectations; they’re something of a self-fulfilling prophecy. There should be a lot of analysis to consume on this point after the US CPI report is out on Thursday morning.
- [UPDATE] OceanaGold falls 6% in first day of trading... OceanaGold PH [OGP 12.50 ▼6.2%; 100% avgVol] [link] dropped a little over 6% in its first day of trading, falling ₱0.82 from its ₱13.33/share IPO price to close at ₱12.50/share. The highest the stock traded was ₱13.34 in the first 20 minutes of trading before consistent selling pressure pushed OGP price to an intra-day low of ₱12.46 around 1:30 PM. The stock mounted a significant recovery to around ₱12.90/share before a massive amount of late-day selling pushed it back down to the ₱12.50 level at the close.
- MB: Since this is the first IPO of the year, the questions in my inbox tell me that we need to quickly cover a few points before we move forward. First, yes, OGP does have a stabilization fund, but it’s important to remember that a stabilization fund isn’t supposed to entirely prevent a stock’s price from falling. A stab fund is best thought of as a discretionary pool of money that a paid agent (in this case, BDO Capital) can use to buy shares on the open market to provide some artificial demand for the stock. It has a limited amount of money (usually around 10% of the value of the total IPO) and a limited amount of time (30 days), and once either of those is gone, so is the fund. The other thing to remember about stab funds is that it’s entirely up to the agent to deploy the limited resources of the fund. They might be hands-off for days before suddenly smashing the market with a swarm of buy orders to soak up the selling pressure, or they might constantly drip artificial buy orders into the market. Or they might employ a chaotic mixture of those strategies. Stability funds are a little bit of short-term downside protection and a handy pool of exit liquidity, but they shouldn’t be seen as IPO Investing insurance or a protection against loss! Be careful out there!
- [DIVS] CREIT, MREIT, and FILRT all declare Q1 dividends... Citicore Energy REIT [CREIT 2.83 ▲0.3%; 345% avgVol] [link] and MREIT [MREIT 12.96 ▲0.1%; 96% avgVol] [link] declared their Q1 dividends on Monday, while Filinvest REIT [FILRT 2.93 ▼2.0%; 47% avgVol] [link] declared its Q1 dividend on Friday. For CREIT, the dividend will be ₱0.049/share (stable), payable on July 9, representing 101% of CREIT’s Q1 distributable income (DI). For MREIT, the dividend will be ₱0.246 (stable), payable on June 14, representing 93% of MREIT’s DI. For FILRT, the dividend will be ₱0.062/share (falling), payable on June 7, representing 99.9% of FILRT’s DI for the quarter.
- MB: The name of the REIT game is stability. While REITs cannot help what happens in the macroeconomic world with interest rates (all REITs got smacked when rates rose to fight inflation), what separates a good REIT from a bad one (in my opinion) is the management team’s ability to effectively worry about everything else to protect the income stream from loss. Bonus points should be awarded to teams who grow their dividend over time. Between these three companies, both CREIT and MREIT have shown the ability to deliver a stable dividend. CREIT has even managed to grow its dividend 11%. That leaves FILRT, which has continued to deliver giant turd after giant turd to its bagholders in the form of smaller and smaller dividends. FIRLT’s first three quarterly divs were at the ₱0.112/share level, and their most recent div was just ₱0.062. That’s a 44.6% drop. I don’t have a thesaurus within reach capable of accurately describing to you just how bad that is for a REIT. It’s not like the company suffered some major trauma that nearly halved the dividend; the div level has fallen four times over the past twelve quarters and in each of the last three.
- [NEWS] FMEFT halted due to broken price tracker... FMETF [FMETF 105.20 ▲0.9%; 5% avgVol] [link], the PSE’s only exchange-traded fund, was halted by the PSE at 1 PM yesterday after it was discovered that its iNav had failed to update since 11:30 AM. FMETF said that it would “coordinate” with its “service provider” to implement a fix, but as of this writing, FMETF has not advised that a fix has been implemented nor has the PSE lifted the halt.
- MB: This problem happened six times last year, and while it’s great that we made it into May before we had our first FMETF outage of this year, it’s still discouraging to see “iNav not calculating” as a problem that we need to contend with in 2024. For those who are unfamiliar, FMETF is an exchange-traded fund, so FMEFT’s per-share price is derivative of the per-share prices of all the shares that FMETF owns/represents. The “iNav” that keeps breaking is the number that represents the current value of FMETF’s holdings, expressed as a “NAV per unit” or “NAV per share”. So, if the iNav isn’t updating, then traders are not getting the kind of information they need to place FMETF stock trades. “We need more ETFs” is something that I’ve heard traders say for years now, and while I still count myself as part of that group, I wish we could see some forward progress in the maintenance of FMETF before we introduce anything more exotic to the market.
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2024.05.14 00:59 lurker__beserker Some "value free" advice about standing up for yourself. What are your experiences?
This is some advice, "value free" as in I'm not giving a value judgement on it, whether it's wrong or right, good or bad, healthy or unhealthy. I forget where I learned this, some old book I read. But it was something along the lines of "broken bones heal with the sound sleep of the brave, but the coward sleeps restlessly with a broken spirit."
I hear a lot people prioritize being "safe" over everything else. And while there is value in that, I also believe there is value in feeling proud of yourself. I got into a lot of fights as young kid, mostly with guys who would pick on my brother or our family friend who has Down's syndrome.
However, this is possibly survivor bias. But I don't get the sense that many of these stories are talking about life threatening interactions but more "school yard bullying". I'm not going to lie. Getting punched hurts. Even punching people really hurts your hand, especially if you hit someone in the face. But looking back, my brother and I still talk about those times and feel like it was worth it. I don't remember the pain of getting hurt, but I do remember feeling great about myself for fighting back. I felt manly, even though I was kid. Even the times when I "lost" and we ran away because we were too hurt or out numbered.
On the other hand, there were many fights I just walked away from, and I never think about them or really remember what was said/done. Probably someone calling me a slur and I just ignored it.
So, it could be survivor bias: I don't regret it and have positive memories because I wasn't too badly hurt (bruises and black eyes). But if I had somehow gotten seriously injured, I'd probably have a different reaction and regret getting into a "stupid" fight.
I'm interested in what you guys think and your experiences.
submitted by lurker__beserker to FTMMen [link] [comments]
I hear a lot people prioritize being "safe" over everything else. And while there is value in that, I also believe there is value in feeling proud of yourself. I got into a lot of fights as young kid, mostly with guys who would pick on my brother or our family friend who has Down's syndrome.
However, this is possibly survivor bias. But I don't get the sense that many of these stories are talking about life threatening interactions but more "school yard bullying". I'm not going to lie. Getting punched hurts. Even punching people really hurts your hand, especially if you hit someone in the face. But looking back, my brother and I still talk about those times and feel like it was worth it. I don't remember the pain of getting hurt, but I do remember feeling great about myself for fighting back. I felt manly, even though I was kid. Even the times when I "lost" and we ran away because we were too hurt or out numbered.
On the other hand, there were many fights I just walked away from, and I never think about them or really remember what was said/done. Probably someone calling me a slur and I just ignored it.
So, it could be survivor bias: I don't regret it and have positive memories because I wasn't too badly hurt (bruises and black eyes). But if I had somehow gotten seriously injured, I'd probably have a different reaction and regret getting into a "stupid" fight.
I'm interested in what you guys think and your experiences.
2024.05.14 00:58 ServeLivid7225 Given 5 years ban at border entry
Hey everyone,
I’m hoping to get some advice here, so bear with me as this is a bit of a long story. I got hit with a 5-year ban at the U.S. border because the officer thought I was trying to reunite with my ex-wife and get a job through her. Just to give some context, I was on a B1/B2 5-year visit visa, living and working in the UK, and this was my first time visiting the U.S. since my divorce.
So, here's the backstory: I got married to a U.S. citizen, and we initially planned to go through the spouse visa process. But unfortunately, things went south because of her infidelity while I was in the UK. We decided to get divorced, and since she’s a lawyer, the whole process was pretty quick. Everything was done over Zoom; I wasn’t even present in court due to some engagements, but it didn’t really matter since all the paperwork was signed and the Zoom court session was just a formality. For reference, we weren’t even married for a year, though we dated for over three years before deciding to tie the knot, hoping to be together.
I moved to the UK for my MSc while waiting for the visa process, but the distance and her infidelity took a toll, and she asked for a divorce, likely to move on with someone new. I didn’t object. We finalized our divorce and went our separate ways. I continued with my MSc program in the UK, and though we were apart, we still had each other’s numbers and stayed in touch occasionally.
Fast forward to me deciding to give the U.S. visit visa a try, and I got it. In our conversations, I mentioned to her that I got the visa and was planning a trip to the U.S. This led to us talking more, and she kept suggesting ways for me to stay in the country, even sending me daily U.S. job applications to apply for from the UK. On the day I was supposed to fly to the U.S., she offered to pick me up from the airport, and I didn’t see any harm in that since I thought we were still good friends despite the divorce.
But things went south at the border. The immigration officer questioned me hard about my visit, took my phone, and saw our conversations. It ended with me getting deported back to the UK and slapped with a 5-year U.S. ban. This whole experience was a massive blow to my mental health. I got seriously depressed, and to top it off, my ex-wife messaged me later saying she was cutting all ties with me and then blocked me.
I haven’t fully recovered from the depression caused by all this. Every time I think about how it all went down, I get really sad. Recently, my ex-wife reached out again to tell me she’s remarried to someone in the U.S. I’m back in the UK, trying to rebuild my life and see what I can do here since I have legal status, but I can’t help feeling down about the whole situation.
My experience at the U.S. border was traumatic; I even spent a night in a holding cell before being sent back. My ex-wife suggested I move on with my life and maybe seek help from communities like this to figure out how to overturn the visa ban.
I’m slowly getting my life back on track, but I really want to overturn the 5-year ban and don’t even know where to start. I’m also considering applying for a Canada PR visa from the UK or even trying the visit visa again, but having this ban hanging over me is really affecting me. I’m feeling depressed and struggling to move forward.
Any advice or guidance you all could offer would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read my story.
submitted by ServeLivid7225 to usajobs [link] [comments]
I’m hoping to get some advice here, so bear with me as this is a bit of a long story. I got hit with a 5-year ban at the U.S. border because the officer thought I was trying to reunite with my ex-wife and get a job through her. Just to give some context, I was on a B1/B2 5-year visit visa, living and working in the UK, and this was my first time visiting the U.S. since my divorce.
So, here's the backstory: I got married to a U.S. citizen, and we initially planned to go through the spouse visa process. But unfortunately, things went south because of her infidelity while I was in the UK. We decided to get divorced, and since she’s a lawyer, the whole process was pretty quick. Everything was done over Zoom; I wasn’t even present in court due to some engagements, but it didn’t really matter since all the paperwork was signed and the Zoom court session was just a formality. For reference, we weren’t even married for a year, though we dated for over three years before deciding to tie the knot, hoping to be together.
I moved to the UK for my MSc while waiting for the visa process, but the distance and her infidelity took a toll, and she asked for a divorce, likely to move on with someone new. I didn’t object. We finalized our divorce and went our separate ways. I continued with my MSc program in the UK, and though we were apart, we still had each other’s numbers and stayed in touch occasionally.
Fast forward to me deciding to give the U.S. visit visa a try, and I got it. In our conversations, I mentioned to her that I got the visa and was planning a trip to the U.S. This led to us talking more, and she kept suggesting ways for me to stay in the country, even sending me daily U.S. job applications to apply for from the UK. On the day I was supposed to fly to the U.S., she offered to pick me up from the airport, and I didn’t see any harm in that since I thought we were still good friends despite the divorce.
But things went south at the border. The immigration officer questioned me hard about my visit, took my phone, and saw our conversations. It ended with me getting deported back to the UK and slapped with a 5-year U.S. ban. This whole experience was a massive blow to my mental health. I got seriously depressed, and to top it off, my ex-wife messaged me later saying she was cutting all ties with me and then blocked me.
I haven’t fully recovered from the depression caused by all this. Every time I think about how it all went down, I get really sad. Recently, my ex-wife reached out again to tell me she’s remarried to someone in the U.S. I’m back in the UK, trying to rebuild my life and see what I can do here since I have legal status, but I can’t help feeling down about the whole situation.
My experience at the U.S. border was traumatic; I even spent a night in a holding cell before being sent back. My ex-wife suggested I move on with my life and maybe seek help from communities like this to figure out how to overturn the visa ban.
I’m slowly getting my life back on track, but I really want to overturn the 5-year ban and don’t even know where to start. I’m also considering applying for a Canada PR visa from the UK or even trying the visit visa again, but having this ban hanging over me is really affecting me. I’m feeling depressed and struggling to move forward.
Any advice or guidance you all could offer would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read my story.
2024.05.14 00:56 ThatJuicyJam 4 year old difficulties
Hi everyone, I posted about a year ago about my son, who was almost 3 at the time, and how he struggled socially in a number of ways.
The main struggles are:
We’ve taken him to see an occupational therapist for help and to see a social therapist and both of them say he’s ok and what he struggles with is borderline and they don’t see a reason yet to send him for an overall evaluation to diagnose a possibility of autism or other disorder, however they never see him in his most uncomfortable setting. That, coupled with his new angry, upset and defensive feeling towards others makes me question if we should be getting another kind of evaluation maybe from a psychologist?
Anyone here have a similar experience and if so, care to share your story on what you did?
submitted by ThatJuicyJam to toddlers [link] [comments]
The main struggles are:
- Interacting with anyone he’s not confortable with (and even those he is confortable with, sometimes needs a bit of time to warm up)
- Rather be on his on in social settings and doesn’t really follow the pack into playing just kinda drifts off to do his own thing.
- Seems to enter his own bubble when he’s overwhelmed and can’t focus for more than a few seconds when in these situations. His mind wanders often.
We’ve taken him to see an occupational therapist for help and to see a social therapist and both of them say he’s ok and what he struggles with is borderline and they don’t see a reason yet to send him for an overall evaluation to diagnose a possibility of autism or other disorder, however they never see him in his most uncomfortable setting. That, coupled with his new angry, upset and defensive feeling towards others makes me question if we should be getting another kind of evaluation maybe from a psychologist?
Anyone here have a similar experience and if so, care to share your story on what you did?
2024.05.14 00:56 Sea_Rain1942 My "friends" abandoned me waisted at a party and now I'm a mess
Hey, I (19f) went to a university party last week, its a kind of party that starts a 10 p.m and ends with the morning, we go to dance, kiss and drink, it was open bar (those kind of partys are pretty commun in my country). Since I was planing to stay there until the end I wanted to enjoy the most, so I drank a good amount of alcohol, enough to get me completely drunk at the middle of the party but to be sober by the end of it, I figured out it was going to be ok because I planned it, and I was with my friends, I'm the shy kind, so I needed the alcohol to become more outgoing and relaxed. Anyway, until the middle everything was going wonderfully well as planned, I was dancing, talking to everyone, really having my time you know and I've kissed plenty of the people that I was willing to including a friend that we will call Kevin, Kevin and I have being friends for about a year and a half, not the closest type but he helped me in some difficult times and used to say he would aways be there for me, I used to trust him with all my heart because he had proved more than once that he was the reliable kind, I think it's important to address that we, in fact, had something physical a couple of times, but not anything in the romantic side, just two friends helping with each other's needs, I also kissed a guy that I've met at another party a week prior, let's call him Steve. At some point at the party I realized that my phone was missing and immediately started to panic, I've forgotten it in my back pocket and someone just toke it, I went running to the security and warned them about it but they said there was nothing that could be done since I didn't see the thief, by this time the friend that I went with to the party, we can call him Theo, found me and started to help me calm down along with Steve that had also found me, I was literally having a major panic attack because I had just finished paying for my phone and everything I had was on it. Theo than received a call from other friend of his telling that someone had drugged him, I told Theo that I was fine and he could go help his friends, after all it seemed more of a emergency than just a missing phone and a panic attack, with this I ended alone with Steve, I decided then that it would be more effective if I went to inside of the party and warn everyone that I knew about my phone and to search for me if they found it, so I did it, as I crossed the party more drunk and more desperate I became, I warned Kevin and his friends group and then I spotted my ex with some old friends of mine that I don't keep contact anymore, I truly didn't want to bother but at this point I was completely freaked and thought that the more people knew about my phone bigger were the chances of getting it back, so I approach them and told what happened and that I was getting really drunk, I also asked my ex to text my mom so she could track my phone (she had my location), they didn't pay much attention and a girl told me to recompose my self gave me a water ticket, since they weren't really open to my presence I left to get the water and sit outside of the party again, keep in mind that the whole time Steven were by my side and clearly bothered with me talking to everyone. Outside a girl and I boy, friends of Kevin I assume, started taking with me and asking what happened, I told the whole story again and my panic just increased alongside with it the alcohol finally hit with all its strenght and I realized I couldn't remember where I lived or even my mom's number, I realized that I was completely waisted, without a way to communicate, alone, surrounded by completely strangers, one of then, Steven, even made it clear earlier that he wanted to have intercourse with me, even though he had being respectful with me (even if clearly bothered) I was still afraid, after all I was still a girl alone in a party. I decided then that I should ask Kevin for help since I've known him for what a consider a long time and I truly trusted him, I ignored Steven protests and went back to the party search for Kevin, when I found him he was with a girl but I figured a friend in clearly danger would be more important than kissing a stranger, so I asked him if he was drugged or drunk, he said no to both questions, so I asked if he was sober enough with he said he was, I looked around and saw that Steven was still behind me so I grabbed Kevin's arm and started to pull him somewhere else and said that I really needed his help (keep in mind that he knew about my phone and I was with a look of completely terror in my face) Kevin them pushed me with the arm that I was grabbing him, not strong enough to hurt me, but enough to scare me (I am a really petit girl and Kevin is really strong and almost 6'7) and said that he didn't want me, that was my breaking point, I started crying and shaking as he walked away from me, a girl that I suppose was friends with him saw this and came to my help, I explained to her about my phone, that I was drunk and scared and that Kevin had helped me in situations like this before, she nodded and went to talk to him because she believed that he misunderstood me, but when she came back she said that he told her that was just a "crazy girl that he never saw in his life", oh man those words were like knives in my heart, and are still hunting me, I were helpless. I did the only thing that I could think at the time, asked the girl to stay by my side since I didn't want to be alone with Steven and went to talk with my ex and my old friend group, I pushed a girl aside and told her everything and how scared I was, she immediately took me to the other people and said they needed to help me, again, nobody gave that much of importance, I said that my ex knew were I live and maybe could help, so they called him and he asked if I still lived in ***** , I said I couldn't remember because I was too drunk and they started to get inpatient and said they would call my mom to come and get me than, I freaked out (my mom let me do anything since I don't die or don't bother her) and started asking them to please not call her, cause I knew it would just cause more problems and she probably wouldn't even help, other girls in the group said that then they could do nothing to me, nobody disagreed with her and they kind just let it aside, Steven just said to me go with him and nobody protested so I left, feeling that I didn't really had a choice. Outside of the party Steven's friends were still waiting for us, I returned and started crying again, feeling abandoned and betrayed, they tried their best to get me to say were I lived but soon they saw that I couldn't talk anything that would make sense in that moment, so they calmed me down and stayed with me till I was sober enough, the girl that I've just met was a Saint, she got really protective and didn't let any man come close to me, when I was finally able to inform my address they (Steven, this girl and the other friend of his) took me home, it was around 4 a.m when I got home, I was a mess, all the feelings came like a wave, I cried myself to sleep and since then I've been a disaster, sure I'm that I lost my phone but what really hurts me is what happened after this, I can't wrap my mind that completely strangers were more worried about me than my friends and people who once had a important role in my life, matter of fact I kind understand my ex and his friends, I was a really shitty girlfriend back then, even though they having a reason don't make it hurt less, but Kevin?? I've never done anything bad to him, never being anything but a good friend, why would he do thus to me? I just want to text him and ask why, sometimes I want to course him because I'm so mad, he didn't even bother to write a text asking if I was okay the next day, nothing, he just keeps seeing everything I post in silence, I feel so hurt, so depressed, so angry, I feel that I'm on my lowest since everything.
Ps: just wanted to say sorry for my bad grammar, English isn't my first language and I'm literally shaking while I write this, I'm truly a mess
submitted by Sea_Rain1942 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
Ps: just wanted to say sorry for my bad grammar, English isn't my first language and I'm literally shaking while I write this, I'm truly a mess
2024.05.14 00:56 Grouchy-Barnacle-622 M&M
Dear M&M,
This is a list of what the nasty "JE"rk has done to me over decades. Now I'm writing this out bc I would like you to know how he has manipulated and hurt me throughout my life. Mostly, to show you that he went to extremes bc my love for you was all encompassing. When he would put me under hypnosis I wouldn't relent. I wouldn't stop loving you. And he beat me up for it. Look, my sweet M&M, I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything. Or that you have to love me. No, I just want to clear the air finally. To bring truth to what was done. You deserve that. You went through so much as well. And I would love to keep this kind of stuff private but he took that away and im left to tell the world our story so you can at least know i never gave up on you. Bc a part of me knows you never gave up on me. Also, if anyone reads this I'm healed enough to talk about everything. Don't be sad for me. I'm a super resilient person at this point and mentally tough.💪
So here it goes ok, things that happened to me that he did:
So dude, that's some of it. I'm just sad that I can't really discuss this in private with you bc he has compromised so much of my communication with you. The goal was for me to never know you or that I loved you so that I could clear your name and tell the truth of what was really done to us both.
submitted by Grouchy-Barnacle-622 to Unsent_Unread_Unheard [link] [comments]
This is a list of what the nasty "JE"rk has done to me over decades. Now I'm writing this out bc I would like you to know how he has manipulated and hurt me throughout my life. Mostly, to show you that he went to extremes bc my love for you was all encompassing. When he would put me under hypnosis I wouldn't relent. I wouldn't stop loving you. And he beat me up for it. Look, my sweet M&M, I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything. Or that you have to love me. No, I just want to clear the air finally. To bring truth to what was done. You deserve that. You went through so much as well. And I would love to keep this kind of stuff private but he took that away and im left to tell the world our story so you can at least know i never gave up on you. Bc a part of me knows you never gave up on me. Also, if anyone reads this I'm healed enough to talk about everything. Don't be sad for me. I'm a super resilient person at this point and mentally tough.💪
So here it goes ok, things that happened to me that he did:
- He raped me along with other men.
- He told me never to say anything or he would kill me and hurt you.
- He said he would break us up if I said anything.
- Later, after he was appointed the investigator of the gang rape he took me and used hypnosis and torture, so as to keep me from telling the truth.
- Him and his buddies took me to a room to discuss how they were going to destroy "evidence" which was me. Someone mentioned "get her to kill herself". So JE used hypnosis and he almost succeeded except I was found on time. It was clear he needed me to appear crazy and suggested everything that happened was bc of my past. It was part of the script I was supposed to say.
- It became clear you wanted justice and didn't know who JE really was. He had to block my memories by taking me to a hotel where he used torture and hypnosis at the same time. He repeatedly raped me at the hotel. After several weekends I lost all conscious awareness of who you were M&M. You would appear and I wouldn't know your name or that we had a relationship.
- He constantly blocked you and the investigation and turned it around on you, M&M.
- He used hypnosis on me to say you sexually assaulted me. I was being questioned in the same room that JE and the other men raped me. My supervisor was getting tired of waiting around bc I kept telling them, "He didn't do anything wrong. "... once my supervisor left, JE brought out the gold chain (hypnosis) and recorded me saying you sexually assaulted me.
- At this point, I was trained with the hypnosis, but I fought hard for you. JE also used hypnosis on other women, and they wrongfully accused you as well under hypnosis.
- He made sure to continue to degrade me to my supervisor, and I got a "15" bc he insisted I was out of line for what happened between you and me..(SMH).
- He took possession of all my paperwork and destroyed everything connected to you, M&M. He destroyed every memory of us and every picture. He destroyed "US."
- He did various things to other women I'm not going to mention here.
- He made up lies about my past to use and weaponize against me and you, or suggest it was for my protection he went to this extreme.
- All communication between us both was severely compromised. I never received anything from you. He would make me dictate letters and write them out under hypnosis.
- He forwarded all my mail to his home.
- He has been monitoring my online activities since online became a thing.
- Through hypnosis, he was able to manage to get me into relationships that destroyed my self-esteem and worth even more so. This, bc he knew you were waiting it out. Even this last time with my ex-husband. Relationships I would have never entered, but he intervened.
- He kept me from my Gd.
- Throughout the time he took possession of me, he painted himself as my boyfriend to others so that they wouldn't believe he was part of the gang rape or that he was continuing to rape me.
- I was hypnotized to play a role and pretend that I wanted to be with him. That I loved him, etc.
- People found out so he put more pressure on me and really did such a number on me mentally that I would never know you M&M (not getting into how he tortured me to lose all conscious awareness of ever knowing you M&M)
- He's most likely kept recordings and records of this as he plays for life since what he did was catastrophic. Too many people found out the truth. I have my mind and voice back, which is the real truth.
- He intervened with any success I could have had from going to grad school, including failing a class, gre,... having to leave prestigious work positions bc I didn't know why I was severely suffering from ptsd... bc part of the script is keeping me down. Too much clout, and he won't be believed if I succeeded professionally. PHD etc.
- My kiddo dude... this one kills me. I was kept down so much that I hardly had the strength to fight anymore.
- I was never going to remember you, but I did... and I'm so very grateful 🙏 now. Bc I know what love really is. I have that, at least.
So dude, that's some of it. I'm just sad that I can't really discuss this in private with you bc he has compromised so much of my communication with you. The goal was for me to never know you or that I loved you so that I could clear your name and tell the truth of what was really done to us both.
2024.05.14 00:55 Grouchy-Barnacle-622 M&M
Dear M&M,
This is a list of what the nasty "JE"rk has done to me over decades. Now I'm writing this out bc I would like you to know how he has manipulated and hurt me throughout my life. Mostly, to show you that he went to extremes bc my love for you was all encompassing. When he would put me under hypnosis I wouldn't relent. I wouldn't stop loving you. And he beat me up for it. Look, my sweet M&M, I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything. Or that you have to love me. No, I just want to clear the air finally. To bring truth to what was done. You deserve that. You went through so much as well. And I would love to keep this kind of stuff private but he took that away and im left to tell the world our story so you can at least know i never gave up on you. Bc a part of me knows you never gave up on me. Also, if anyone reads this I'm healed enough to talk about everything. Don't be sad for me. I'm a super resilient person at this point and mentally tough.💪
So here it goes ok, things that happened to me that he did:
So dude, that's some of it. I'm just sad that I can't really discuss this in private with you bc he has compromised so much of my communication with you. The goal was for me to never know you or that I loved you so that I could clear your name and tell the truth of what was really done to us both.
submitted by Grouchy-Barnacle-622 to UnsentLettersRaw [link] [comments]
This is a list of what the nasty "JE"rk has done to me over decades. Now I'm writing this out bc I would like you to know how he has manipulated and hurt me throughout my life. Mostly, to show you that he went to extremes bc my love for you was all encompassing. When he would put me under hypnosis I wouldn't relent. I wouldn't stop loving you. And he beat me up for it. Look, my sweet M&M, I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything. Or that you have to love me. No, I just want to clear the air finally. To bring truth to what was done. You deserve that. You went through so much as well. And I would love to keep this kind of stuff private but he took that away and im left to tell the world our story so you can at least know i never gave up on you. Bc a part of me knows you never gave up on me. Also, if anyone reads this I'm healed enough to talk about everything. Don't be sad for me. I'm a super resilient person at this point and mentally tough.💪
So here it goes ok, things that happened to me that he did:
- He raped me along with other men.
- He told me never to say anything or he would kill me and hurt you.
- He said he would break us up if I said anything.
- Later, after he was appointed the investigator of the gang rape he took me and used hypnosis and torture, so as to keep me from telling the truth.
- Him and his buddies took me to a room to discuss how they were going to destroy "evidence" which was me. Someone mentioned "get her to kill herself". So JE used hypnosis and he almost succeeded except I was found on time. It was clear he needed me to appear crazy and suggested everything that happened was bc of my past. It was part of the script I was supposed to say.
- It became clear you wanted justice and didn't know who JE really was. He had to block my memories by taking me to a hotel where he used torture and hypnosis at the same time. He repeatedly raped me at the hotel. After several weekends I lost all conscious awareness of who you were M&M. You would appear and I wouldn't know your name or that we had a relationship.
- He constantly blocked you and the investigation and turned it around on you, M&M.
- He used hypnosis on me to say you sexually assaulted me. I was being questioned in the same room that JE and the other men raped me. My supervisor was getting tired of waiting around bc I kept telling them, "He didn't do anything wrong. "... once my supervisor left, JE brought out the gold chain (hypnosis) and recorded me saying you sexually assaulted me.
- At this point, I was trained with the hypnosis, but I fought hard for you. JE also used hypnosis on other women, and they wrongfully accused you as well under hypnosis.
- He made sure to continue to degrade me to my supervisor, and I got a "15" bc he insisted I was out of line for what happened between you and me..(SMH).
- He took possession of all my paperwork and destroyed everything connected to you, M&M. He destroyed every memory of us and every picture. He destroyed "US."
- He did various things to other women I'm not going to mention here.
- He made up lies about my past to use and weaponize against me and you, or suggest it was for my protection he went to this extreme.
- All communication between us both was severely compromised. I never received anything from you. He would make me dictate letters and write them out under hypnosis.
- He forwarded all my mail to his home.
- He has been monitoring my online activities since online became a thing.
- Through hypnosis, he was able to manage to get me into relationships that destroyed my self-esteem and worth even more so. This, bc he knew you were waiting it out. Even this last time with my ex-husband. Relationships I would have never entered, but he intervened.
- He kept me from my Gd.
- Throughout the time he took possession of me, he painted himself as my boyfriend to others so that they wouldn't believe he was part of the gang rape or that he was continuing to rape me.
- I was hypnotized to play a role and pretend that I wanted to be with him. That I loved him, etc.
- People found out so he put more pressure on me and really did such a number on me mentally that I would never know you M&M (not getting into how he tortured me to lose all conscious awareness of ever knowing you M&M)
- He's most likely kept recordings and records of this as he plays for life since what he did was catastrophic. Too many people found out the truth. I have my mind and voice back, which is the real truth.
- He intervened with any success I could have had from going to grad school, including failing a class, gre,... having to leave prestigious work positions bc I didn't know why I was severely suffering from ptsd... bc part of the script is keeping me down. Too much clout, and he won't be believed if I succeeded professionally. PHD etc.
- My kiddo dude... this one kills me. I was kept down so much that I hardly had the strength to fight anymore.
- I was never going to remember you, but I did... and I'm so very grateful 🙏 now. Bc I know what love really is. I have that, at least.
So dude, that's some of it. I'm just sad that I can't really discuss this in private with you bc he has compromised so much of my communication with you. The goal was for me to never know you or that I loved you so that I could clear your name and tell the truth of what was really done to us both.
2024.05.14 00:55 Grouchy-Barnacle-622 M&M
Dear M&M,
This is a list of what the nasty "JE"rk has done to me over decades. Now I'm writing this out bc I would like you to know how he has manipulated and hurt me throughout my life. Mostly, to show you that he went to extremes bc my love for you was all encompassing. When he would put me under hypnosis I wouldn't relent. I wouldn't stop loving you. And he beat me up for it. Look, my sweet M&M, I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything. Or that you have to love me. No, I just want to clear the air finally. To bring truth to what was done. You deserve that. You went through so much as well. And I would love to keep this kind of stuff private but he took that away and im left to tell the world our story so you can at least know i never gave up on you. Bc a part of me knows you never gave up on me. Also, if anyone reads this I'm healed enough to talk about everything. Don't be sad for me. I'm a super resilient person at this point and mentally tough.💪
So here it goes ok, things that happened to me that he did:
So dude, that's some of it. I'm just sad that I can't really discuss this in private with you bc he has compromised so much of my communication with you. The goal was for me to never know you or that I loved you so that I could clear your name and tell the truth of what was really done to us both.
submitted by Grouchy-Barnacle-622 to letters [link] [comments]
This is a list of what the nasty "JE"rk has done to me over decades. Now I'm writing this out bc I would like you to know how he has manipulated and hurt me throughout my life. Mostly, to show you that he went to extremes bc my love for you was all encompassing. When he would put me under hypnosis I wouldn't relent. I wouldn't stop loving you. And he beat me up for it. Look, my sweet M&M, I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything. Or that you have to love me. No, I just want to clear the air finally. To bring truth to what was done. You deserve that. You went through so much as well. And I would love to keep this kind of stuff private but he took that away and im left to tell the world our story so you can at least know i never gave up on you. Bc a part of me knows you never gave up on me. Also, if anyone reads this I'm healed enough to talk about everything. Don't be sad for me. I'm a super resilient person at this point and mentally tough.💪
So here it goes ok, things that happened to me that he did:
- He raped me along with other men.
- He told me never to say anything or he would kill me and hurt you.
- He said he would break us up if I said anything.
- Later, after he was appointed the investigator of the gang rape he took me and used hypnosis and torture, so as to keep me from telling the truth.
- Him and his buddies took me to a room to discuss how they were going to destroy "evidence" which was me. Someone mentioned "get her to kill herself". So JE used hypnosis and he almost succeeded except I was found on time. It was clear he needed me to appear crazy and suggested everything that happened was bc of my past. It was part of the script I was supposed to say.
- It became clear you wanted justice and didn't know who JE really was. He had to block my memories by taking me to a hotel where he used torture and hypnosis at the same time. He repeatedly raped me at the hotel. After several weekends I lost all conscious awareness of who you were M&M. You would appear and I wouldn't know your name or that we had a relationship.
- He constantly blocked you and the investigation and turned it around on you, M&M.
- He used hypnosis on me to say you sexually assaulted me. I was being questioned in the same room that JE and the other men raped me. My supervisor was getting tired of waiting around bc I kept telling them, "He didn't do anything wrong. "... once my supervisor left, JE brought out the gold chain (hypnosis) and recorded me saying you sexually assaulted me.
- At this point, I was trained with the hypnosis, but I fought hard for you. JE also used hypnosis on other women, and they wrongfully accused you as well under hypnosis.
- He made sure to continue to degrade me to my supervisor, and I got a "15" bc he insisted I was out of line for what happened between you and me..(SMH).
- He took possession of all my paperwork and destroyed everything connected to you, M&M. He destroyed every memory of us and every picture. He destroyed "US."
- He did various things to other women I'm not going to mention here.
- He made up lies about my past to use and weaponize against me and you, or suggest it was for my protection he went to this extreme.
- All communication between us both was severely compromised. I never received anything from you. He would make me dictate letters and write them out under hypnosis.
- He forwarded all my mail to his home.
- He has been monitoring my online activities since online became a thing.
- Through hypnosis, he was able to manage to get me into relationships that destroyed my self-esteem and worth even more so. This, bc he knew you were waiting it out. Even this last time with my ex-husband. Relationships I would have never entered, but he intervened.
- He kept me from my Gd.
- Throughout the time he took possession of me, he painted himself as my boyfriend to others so that they wouldn't believe he was part of the gang rape or that he was continuing to rape me.
- I was hypnotized to play a role and pretend that I wanted to be with him. That I loved him, etc.
- People found out so he put more pressure on me and really did such a number on me mentally that I would never know you M&M (not getting into how he tortured me to lose all conscious awareness of ever knowing you M&M)
- He's most likely kept recordings and records of this as he plays for life since what he did was catastrophic. Too many people found out the truth. I have my mind and voice back, which is the real truth.
- He intervened with any success I could have had from going to grad school, including failing a class, gre,... having to leave prestigious work positions bc I didn't know why I was severely suffering from ptsd... bc part of the script is keeping me down. Too much clout, and he won't be believed if I succeeded professionally. PHD etc.
- My kiddo dude... this one kills me. I was kept down so much that I hardly had the strength to fight anymore.
- I was never going to remember you, but I did... and I'm so very grateful 🙏 now. Bc I know what love really is. I have that, at least.
So dude, that's some of it. I'm just sad that I can't really discuss this in private with you bc he has compromised so much of my communication with you. The goal was for me to never know you or that I loved you so that I could clear your name and tell the truth of what was really done to us both.
2024.05.14 00:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.14 00:49 badd1e Marika, Messmer, trauma and free agency.
Some shower thoughts that I’ve had ruminating for a while so I just want to stick them somewhere for posterity. Feel free to poke holes in the theory and downvote to oblivion 😊.
I’ve been thinking a lot of the portrait of the old man and young woman in the DLC trailer and it led me down a rabbit hole of theory crafting and I was wondering if anyone else shared these thoughts.
In short, if we are to presume the woman in the portrait is Marika then I posit that the man is her father and Messmer is the incestuous first-born child between them. In an effort to free herself from the trauma and abuse, she abandoned them and separated the Land of Shadow from the rest of reality. However, Messmer sided with his dad and stayed.
Now for a slightly more in-depth analysis.
In my opinion, the whole story of Elden Ring is essentially the tale of Marika and her desires and machinations to be free from the abuse, control and influence she has faced her whole life. This has been her primary motivation and all her different consorts/families are attempts to achieve that. Some are more successful than others. These were her tools as they were the only ones she was exposed to by a twisted father who had varying degrees of success in using her for his own ends (until he presumably faced his comeuppance what with the Great Rune-esque shit that’s impaling him).
Let’s quickly examine the families.
Godfrey:
Produced Morgott and Mohg, two Omen cursed offspring who were connections to the old world that Marika was escaping from and therefor shunned. Godwyn however was the apple of his mother’s eye but too enthralled by the Golden Order. She sends Godfrey away as perhaps he too was only using her to fulfil his own ambitions of conquest.
As Radagan with Rennala:
I imagine Radagan as a manifestation of her trauma and reluctance, or inability, to let go of it and move on (exhibited by his attempt at repairing the Elden Ring to restore order). Their children seem to be the ones most resistant to change (the exception being Ranni because she is fucking cool):
Radahn stalled the stars to stop them from them from claiming Ranni’s destiny. (also see Radahn’s reluctance to move on from his beloved horse when he literally outgrew him).
Rykard was so upset with the upending of the Golden Order and the debasement of the Shattering that it eventually led to him turning his back on the Greater Will and turned to blasphemy.
Ranni is their greatest triumph. She figured it out and was able to self-actualise and free herself from the Greater Will’s influence. However, Marika was not to know this yet and therefore tried again.
Radagan and Marika:
This was an attempt of self-sufficiency. By splitting in two she didn’t have to rely on outsiders and their own aspirations; however, the schism perhaps caused its own problems (e.g. Radagan’s doubt).
The children this produced were flawed physically but, on the surface, it would appear that they have the most free agency of all the children (again, with the exception of Ranni). Miquella formed his own damned tree while Malenia waged war with her siblings and none could stay in her path. However, look under the surface and you could argue that they aren’t as free as they appear to be and are actually beholden to each other (as well as their afflictions). Miquella is driven by his desire to cure his sister’s scarlet rot while Malenia is “the blade of Miquella”. However, I don’t think they consider the other as a burden and are driven by the love they share.
With all that in mind, this is my imagining of the before-times.
First was an abusive father. Perhaps Marika had been chosen as an Empyrean and he manipulated her to exert his will. The impregnation could be a means of this. If he produces a child with a god then he can manipulate that child to continue his dominance. Or perhaps he was an evil shit and impregnated Marika regardless of her Empyrean destiny.
Upon Marika’s apotheosis she sought the means to free herself from a life of subordination; first from her father (and perhaps the culture that created the conditions, hence the banishment of The Land of Shadow from the rest of the world) and secondly from the Greater Will that bestowed her this monkey’s paw of godhood.
Just a thought as an aside (I had nowhere else to put this). What makes Marika a god? She isn’t omnipotent or omniscient and is without free agency so she is more a god in the Greco-Roman sense rather than the Abrahamic sense but even within that definition she seems less a god and more a figurehead of a church that she has no control over. She is a puppet (a pope-et? sorry) of an unknowable and powerful entity.
I hope this wasn’t too word salad-y and was at least comprehensible. I wish I had the time to make my ideas more cohesive but I thought I’d at least hopefully get a conversation starting and at the very least it’s nice to have something I can point to when the DLC comes out and I can see where I was right and wrong (I’d say very wrong).
If anyone reads this, please know that you are cool; this week’s winning lottery numbers are 8, 41, 33, 15, 6, 20; I hope you have a great day and remember to love yourself.
submitted by badd1e to Eldenring [link] [comments]
I’ve been thinking a lot of the portrait of the old man and young woman in the DLC trailer and it led me down a rabbit hole of theory crafting and I was wondering if anyone else shared these thoughts.
In short, if we are to presume the woman in the portrait is Marika then I posit that the man is her father and Messmer is the incestuous first-born child between them. In an effort to free herself from the trauma and abuse, she abandoned them and separated the Land of Shadow from the rest of reality. However, Messmer sided with his dad and stayed.
Now for a slightly more in-depth analysis.
In my opinion, the whole story of Elden Ring is essentially the tale of Marika and her desires and machinations to be free from the abuse, control and influence she has faced her whole life. This has been her primary motivation and all her different consorts/families are attempts to achieve that. Some are more successful than others. These were her tools as they were the only ones she was exposed to by a twisted father who had varying degrees of success in using her for his own ends (until he presumably faced his comeuppance what with the Great Rune-esque shit that’s impaling him).
Let’s quickly examine the families.
Godfrey:
Produced Morgott and Mohg, two Omen cursed offspring who were connections to the old world that Marika was escaping from and therefor shunned. Godwyn however was the apple of his mother’s eye but too enthralled by the Golden Order. She sends Godfrey away as perhaps he too was only using her to fulfil his own ambitions of conquest.
As Radagan with Rennala:
I imagine Radagan as a manifestation of her trauma and reluctance, or inability, to let go of it and move on (exhibited by his attempt at repairing the Elden Ring to restore order). Their children seem to be the ones most resistant to change (the exception being Ranni because she is fucking cool):
Radahn stalled the stars to stop them from them from claiming Ranni’s destiny. (also see Radahn’s reluctance to move on from his beloved horse when he literally outgrew him).
Rykard was so upset with the upending of the Golden Order and the debasement of the Shattering that it eventually led to him turning his back on the Greater Will and turned to blasphemy.
Ranni is their greatest triumph. She figured it out and was able to self-actualise and free herself from the Greater Will’s influence. However, Marika was not to know this yet and therefore tried again.
Radagan and Marika:
This was an attempt of self-sufficiency. By splitting in two she didn’t have to rely on outsiders and their own aspirations; however, the schism perhaps caused its own problems (e.g. Radagan’s doubt).
The children this produced were flawed physically but, on the surface, it would appear that they have the most free agency of all the children (again, with the exception of Ranni). Miquella formed his own damned tree while Malenia waged war with her siblings and none could stay in her path. However, look under the surface and you could argue that they aren’t as free as they appear to be and are actually beholden to each other (as well as their afflictions). Miquella is driven by his desire to cure his sister’s scarlet rot while Malenia is “the blade of Miquella”. However, I don’t think they consider the other as a burden and are driven by the love they share.
With all that in mind, this is my imagining of the before-times.
First was an abusive father. Perhaps Marika had been chosen as an Empyrean and he manipulated her to exert his will. The impregnation could be a means of this. If he produces a child with a god then he can manipulate that child to continue his dominance. Or perhaps he was an evil shit and impregnated Marika regardless of her Empyrean destiny.
Upon Marika’s apotheosis she sought the means to free herself from a life of subordination; first from her father (and perhaps the culture that created the conditions, hence the banishment of The Land of Shadow from the rest of the world) and secondly from the Greater Will that bestowed her this monkey’s paw of godhood.
Just a thought as an aside (I had nowhere else to put this). What makes Marika a god? She isn’t omnipotent or omniscient and is without free agency so she is more a god in the Greco-Roman sense rather than the Abrahamic sense but even within that definition she seems less a god and more a figurehead of a church that she has no control over. She is a puppet (a pope-et? sorry) of an unknowable and powerful entity.
I hope this wasn’t too word salad-y and was at least comprehensible. I wish I had the time to make my ideas more cohesive but I thought I’d at least hopefully get a conversation starting and at the very least it’s nice to have something I can point to when the DLC comes out and I can see where I was right and wrong (I’d say very wrong).
If anyone reads this, please know that you are cool; this week’s winning lottery numbers are 8, 41, 33, 15, 6, 20; I hope you have a great day and remember to love yourself.
2024.05.14 00:49 Abysswalker794 My thoughts about Google and their potential threat from AI search engines
Hi all, I have seen a few comments on Reddit and YouTube regarding Google and their future. As you all know the competition in the search space is getting more competitive as companies trying to get a slice of that ad money. Meanwhile search bots have proven to be useful in many instances.
As many bear cases have been written all over the internet, I will focus on the bull cases. I will share my top ten with you, and I promise you, this is fully written by myself without the help of AI. You will believe me as my English grammar is bad AF.
Let me give you first an overview about Google revenue streams by percentage:
57% Google Search ads, 10.3% YouTube Ads, 10.2% Google network ads, 11.3% Subscriptions and devices, 10.8% Google Cloud, Rest Are other bets.
Of course Google search makes up a huge chunk of the revenue and even more of the profits. But I think what many people are missing in many of the discussions about Google is:
Long story short: They could have some short term struggles due to sentiment and temporary revenue and profit lost. But they will be fine long term.
submitted by Abysswalker794 to stocks [link] [comments]
As many bear cases have been written all over the internet, I will focus on the bull cases. I will share my top ten with you, and I promise you, this is fully written by myself without the help of AI. You will believe me as my English grammar is bad AF.
Let me give you first an overview about Google revenue streams by percentage:
57% Google Search ads, 10.3% YouTube Ads, 10.2% Google network ads, 11.3% Subscriptions and devices, 10.8% Google Cloud, Rest Are other bets.
Of course Google search makes up a huge chunk of the revenue and even more of the profits. But I think what many people are missing in many of the discussions about Google is:
- Google will not lose their 90% market share over night IF at all. It will be years until the majority of people will even notice that there are other options now. They know about ChatGPT and are still googling.
- Regarding to Statcounter Google had 91.8% market share in January 2021. Now after ChatGPT and MS Copilot and whatever, Google stands at 90.9%. This is so little change, that we cannot even speak about a trend at the moment.
- IF Google is going to lose substantial market share it won’t go to zero. People are often pretending like Google is going to be irrelevant and losing all business. Not going to happen, Bing and DuckDuckGo existing during Googles dominance proves this.
- The minimum market share will always be the Android users. As Google will be defaulted with Android and Chrome devices. As long as the Apple Safari deal is legal and active the minimum base for Google is HUGE. I can’t see people changing the standard search engine pro actively, especially if it’s what they know - Google. That something like Bing even has market share at all, shows that people are likely to stay with the default. That is not an insult from my side this is an argument from Satya Nadella himself, made in court. At the moment, IF they change the default, they are more likely to switch from Bing to Google, than from Google to Bing. Additionally I think you can also add Google cloud business customer to this baseline.
- That means advertiser will continue to pump money into Google search. Even if their market share goes down to 50-70%(very conservatively). They will very likely remain the number 1 search engine for a very long time. A few anecdotal tech bubble guys are not representative for changing the habits of billions of people. And with more people getting access to internet, the market as a whole will continue to grow.
- Google does not only have the number 1 search engine, they also have number 2 with YouTube. YouTube is also getting a lot of advertising money and is still growing double digits.
- Even if Google search money stops to grow or would decline, you have to look out for, if it would decline faster than the other segments will grow. If it’s flat or declining like 1-2% a year while Cloud and YouTube and Networks are growing double digits, Google will still generate Billions of cash flow a quarter. Similar to the current state of Apple with their IPhone sales.
- Googles businesses are alle potential high margin businesses and are still growing double digits. Of course search is the number 1 but the other businesses would also be worth 100s of billions on their own.
- I don’t see the threat of Google getting broken up by the authorities. You cannot made a bear case for both. Either they have monopoly that needs to be broken up, or they are threatened by AI companies. You cannot make a case for both at the same time imho. But even if they are getting punished or broken up, this will take YEARS in courts and after that they will be appeals by Google which will also take years. Until then there is a chance that Google businesses are more worth broken up in parts anyway. I see that very relaxed.
- All of this doesn’t factor in any bets (like Waymo or their 8% SpaceX stake) that could take off or anything they are doing with Deepmind and AI which is a potential upside imho.
Long story short: They could have some short term struggles due to sentiment and temporary revenue and profit lost. But they will be fine long term.
2024.05.14 00:49 ServeLivid7225 Given 5 years ban at border entry
Hey everyone,
I’m hoping to get some advice here, so bear with me as this is a bit of a long story. I got hit with a 5-year ban at the U.S. border because the officer thought I was trying to reunite with my ex-wife and get a job through her. Just to give some context, I was on a B1/B2 5-year visit visa, living and working in the UK, and this was my first time visiting the U.S. since my divorce.
So, here's the backstory: I got married to a U.S. citizen, and we initially planned to go through the spouse visa process. But unfortunately, things went south because of her infidelity while I was in the UK. We decided to get divorced, and since she’s a lawyer, the whole process was pretty quick. Everything was done over Zoom; I wasn’t even present in court due to some engagements, but it didn’t really matter since all the paperwork was signed and the Zoom court session was just a formality. For reference, we weren’t even married for a year, though we dated for over three years before deciding to tie the knot, hoping to be together.
I moved to the UK for my MSc while waiting for the visa process, but the distance and her infidelity took a toll, and she asked for a divorce, likely to move on with someone new. I didn’t object. We finalized our divorce and went our separate ways. I continued with my MSc program in the UK, and though we were apart, we still had each other’s numbers and stayed in touch occasionally.
Fast forward to me deciding to give the U.S. visit visa a try, and I got it. In our conversations, I mentioned to her that I got the visa and was planning a trip to the U.S. This led to us talking more, and she kept suggesting ways for me to stay in the country, even sending me daily U.S. job applications to apply for from the UK. On the day I was supposed to fly to the U.S., she offered to pick me up from the airport, and I didn’t see any harm in that since I thought we were still good friends despite the divorce.
But things went south at the border. The immigration officer questioned me hard about my visit, took my phone, and saw our conversations. It ended with me getting deported back to the UK and slapped with a 5-year U.S. ban. This whole experience was a massive blow to my mental health. I got seriously depressed, and to top it off, my ex-wife messaged me later saying she was cutting all ties with me and then blocked me.
I haven’t fully recovered from the depression caused by all this. Every time I think about how it all went down, I get really sad. Recently, my ex-wife reached out again to tell me she’s remarried to someone in the U.S. I’m back in the UK, trying to rebuild my life and see what I can do here since I have legal status, but I can’t help feeling down about the whole situation.
My experience at the U.S. border was traumatic; I even spent a night in a holding cell before being sent back. My ex-wife suggested I move on with my life and maybe seek help from communities like this to figure out how to overturn the visa ban.
I’m slowly getting my life back on track, but I really want to overturn the 5-year ban and don’t even know where to start. I’m also considering applying for a Canada PR visa from the UK or even trying the visit visa again, but having this ban hanging over me is really affecting me. I’m feeling depressed and struggling to move forward.
Any advice or guidance you all could offer would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read my story.
submitted by ServeLivid7225 to USVisas [link] [comments]
I’m hoping to get some advice here, so bear with me as this is a bit of a long story. I got hit with a 5-year ban at the U.S. border because the officer thought I was trying to reunite with my ex-wife and get a job through her. Just to give some context, I was on a B1/B2 5-year visit visa, living and working in the UK, and this was my first time visiting the U.S. since my divorce.
So, here's the backstory: I got married to a U.S. citizen, and we initially planned to go through the spouse visa process. But unfortunately, things went south because of her infidelity while I was in the UK. We decided to get divorced, and since she’s a lawyer, the whole process was pretty quick. Everything was done over Zoom; I wasn’t even present in court due to some engagements, but it didn’t really matter since all the paperwork was signed and the Zoom court session was just a formality. For reference, we weren’t even married for a year, though we dated for over three years before deciding to tie the knot, hoping to be together.
I moved to the UK for my MSc while waiting for the visa process, but the distance and her infidelity took a toll, and she asked for a divorce, likely to move on with someone new. I didn’t object. We finalized our divorce and went our separate ways. I continued with my MSc program in the UK, and though we were apart, we still had each other’s numbers and stayed in touch occasionally.
Fast forward to me deciding to give the U.S. visit visa a try, and I got it. In our conversations, I mentioned to her that I got the visa and was planning a trip to the U.S. This led to us talking more, and she kept suggesting ways for me to stay in the country, even sending me daily U.S. job applications to apply for from the UK. On the day I was supposed to fly to the U.S., she offered to pick me up from the airport, and I didn’t see any harm in that since I thought we were still good friends despite the divorce.
But things went south at the border. The immigration officer questioned me hard about my visit, took my phone, and saw our conversations. It ended with me getting deported back to the UK and slapped with a 5-year U.S. ban. This whole experience was a massive blow to my mental health. I got seriously depressed, and to top it off, my ex-wife messaged me later saying she was cutting all ties with me and then blocked me.
I haven’t fully recovered from the depression caused by all this. Every time I think about how it all went down, I get really sad. Recently, my ex-wife reached out again to tell me she’s remarried to someone in the U.S. I’m back in the UK, trying to rebuild my life and see what I can do here since I have legal status, but I can’t help feeling down about the whole situation.
My experience at the U.S. border was traumatic; I even spent a night in a holding cell before being sent back. My ex-wife suggested I move on with my life and maybe seek help from communities like this to figure out how to overturn the visa ban.
I’m slowly getting my life back on track, but I really want to overturn the 5-year ban and don’t even know where to start. I’m also considering applying for a Canada PR visa from the UK or even trying the visit visa again, but having this ban hanging over me is really affecting me. I’m feeling depressed and struggling to move forward.
Any advice or guidance you all could offer would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read my story.
2024.05.14 00:48 ServeLivid7225 Given 5 years ban at the border entry
Hey everyone,
I’m hoping to get some advice here, so bear with me as this is a bit of a long story. I got hit with a 5-year ban at the U.S. border because the officer thought I was trying to reunite with my ex-wife and get a job through her. Just to give some context, I was on a B1/B2 5-year visit visa, living and working in the UK, and this was my first time visiting the U.S. since my divorce.
So, here's the backstory: I got married to a U.S. citizen, and we initially planned to go through the spouse visa process. But unfortunately, things went south because of her infidelity while I was in the UK. We decided to get divorced, and since she’s a lawyer, the whole process was pretty quick. Everything was done over Zoom; I wasn’t even present in court due to some engagements, but it didn’t really matter since all the paperwork was signed and the Zoom court session was just a formality. For reference, we weren’t even married for a year, though we dated for over three years before deciding to tie the knot, hoping to be together.
I moved to the UK for my MSc while waiting for the visa process, but the distance and her infidelity took a toll, and she asked for a divorce, likely to move on with someone new. I didn’t object. We finalized our divorce and went our separate ways. I continued with my MSc program in the UK, and though we were apart, we still had each other’s numbers and stayed in touch occasionally.
Fast forward to me deciding to give the U.S. visit visa a try, and I got it. In our conversations, I mentioned to her that I got the visa and was planning a trip to the U.S. This led to us talking more, and she kept suggesting ways for me to stay in the country, even sending me daily U.S. job applications to apply for from the UK. On the day I was supposed to fly to the U.S., she offered to pick me up from the airport, and I didn’t see any harm in that since I thought we were still good friends despite the divorce.
But things went south at the border. The immigration officer questioned me hard about my visit, took my phone, and saw our conversations. It ended with me getting deported back to the UK and slapped with a 5-year U.S. ban. This whole experience was a massive blow to my mental health. I got seriously depressed, and to top it off, my ex-wife messaged me later saying she was cutting all ties with me and then blocked me.
I haven’t fully recovered from the depression caused by all this. Every time I think about how it all went down, I get really sad. Recently, my ex-wife reached out again to tell me she’s remarried to someone in the U.S. I’m back in the UK, trying to rebuild my life and see what I can do here since I have legal status, but I can’t help feeling down about the whole situation.
My experience at the U.S. border was traumatic; I even spent a night in a holding cell before being sent back. My ex-wife suggested I move on with my life and maybe seek help from communities like this to figure out how to overturn the visa ban.
I’m slowly getting my life back on track, but I really want to overturn the 5-year ban and don’t even know where to start. I’m also considering applying for a Canada PR visa from the UK or even trying the visit visa again, but having this ban hanging over me is really affecting me. I’m feeling depressed and struggling to move forward.
Any advice or guidance you all could offer would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read my story.
submitted by ServeLivid7225 to immigration [link] [comments]
I’m hoping to get some advice here, so bear with me as this is a bit of a long story. I got hit with a 5-year ban at the U.S. border because the officer thought I was trying to reunite with my ex-wife and get a job through her. Just to give some context, I was on a B1/B2 5-year visit visa, living and working in the UK, and this was my first time visiting the U.S. since my divorce.
So, here's the backstory: I got married to a U.S. citizen, and we initially planned to go through the spouse visa process. But unfortunately, things went south because of her infidelity while I was in the UK. We decided to get divorced, and since she’s a lawyer, the whole process was pretty quick. Everything was done over Zoom; I wasn’t even present in court due to some engagements, but it didn’t really matter since all the paperwork was signed and the Zoom court session was just a formality. For reference, we weren’t even married for a year, though we dated for over three years before deciding to tie the knot, hoping to be together.
I moved to the UK for my MSc while waiting for the visa process, but the distance and her infidelity took a toll, and she asked for a divorce, likely to move on with someone new. I didn’t object. We finalized our divorce and went our separate ways. I continued with my MSc program in the UK, and though we were apart, we still had each other’s numbers and stayed in touch occasionally.
Fast forward to me deciding to give the U.S. visit visa a try, and I got it. In our conversations, I mentioned to her that I got the visa and was planning a trip to the U.S. This led to us talking more, and she kept suggesting ways for me to stay in the country, even sending me daily U.S. job applications to apply for from the UK. On the day I was supposed to fly to the U.S., she offered to pick me up from the airport, and I didn’t see any harm in that since I thought we were still good friends despite the divorce.
But things went south at the border. The immigration officer questioned me hard about my visit, took my phone, and saw our conversations. It ended with me getting deported back to the UK and slapped with a 5-year U.S. ban. This whole experience was a massive blow to my mental health. I got seriously depressed, and to top it off, my ex-wife messaged me later saying she was cutting all ties with me and then blocked me.
I haven’t fully recovered from the depression caused by all this. Every time I think about how it all went down, I get really sad. Recently, my ex-wife reached out again to tell me she’s remarried to someone in the U.S. I’m back in the UK, trying to rebuild my life and see what I can do here since I have legal status, but I can’t help feeling down about the whole situation.
My experience at the U.S. border was traumatic; I even spent a night in a holding cell before being sent back. My ex-wife suggested I move on with my life and maybe seek help from communities like this to figure out how to overturn the visa ban.
I’m slowly getting my life back on track, but I really want to overturn the 5-year ban and don’t even know where to start. I’m also considering applying for a Canada PR visa from the UK or even trying the visit visa again, but having this ban hanging over me is really affecting me. I’m feeling depressed and struggling to move forward.
Any advice or guidance you all could offer would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read my story.
2024.05.14 00:44 Hopeful-One2093 My husband received a threatening voicemail from an anonymous caller – is it something to be concerned about?
Hello! This is my first time posting on here. I appreciate any and all feedback anyone can give me!
There's a little bit of context I want to give before I lay out the story, but it is all relevant:
My husband M35 (I will call him PK) and I F31 work at a private school together. He is the principal of the school and I am the secretary. Part of our salary is that we can live on campus in teacher housing. Our home is visible from the school and most of the school is aware that we live in the home.
Since I am the school's secretary, I can access the school's phone lines on my cell phone. So when I am away from my desk, I can answer calls, check messages, etc. It was after school today when my cell phone started to buzz. Someone was trying to call the school. I was already home and working on something, so I decided to let it go to voicemail – sometimes parents will call to let someone know that they are running late, etc, and I can just inform the afterschool teachers later.
The ringing eventually stopped and they left a voicemail. I checked the voicemail and it was a man's voice saying, "Hey, this is F*** You, B***. Principal PK I know where you live and––" and then it cuts off. I had to play it a few times to be certain of what I heard, and I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
I immediately call my husband (who is on a work trip) to tell him about this, and he didn't seem too concerned, but he did call our local Sheriff and they said they would patrol the area and were looking into the phone number who left the voicemail. I also informed our administrator, who was looking into the phone number, as well.
Does this sound like a real threat? My husband seems to think it's someone who is trolling and trying to freak people out. But the fact that he knew my husband's name and said that he knew where he lived was something that really freaked me out.
I'm not sure what to think. I'm just constantly watching outside for someone to show up. I don't want to freak out but I don't want to relax too much either. Any thoughts on this?
Just some notes:
submitted by Hopeful-One2093 to Advice [link] [comments]
There's a little bit of context I want to give before I lay out the story, but it is all relevant:
My husband M35 (I will call him PK) and I F31 work at a private school together. He is the principal of the school and I am the secretary. Part of our salary is that we can live on campus in teacher housing. Our home is visible from the school and most of the school is aware that we live in the home.
Since I am the school's secretary, I can access the school's phone lines on my cell phone. So when I am away from my desk, I can answer calls, check messages, etc. It was after school today when my cell phone started to buzz. Someone was trying to call the school. I was already home and working on something, so I decided to let it go to voicemail – sometimes parents will call to let someone know that they are running late, etc, and I can just inform the afterschool teachers later.
The ringing eventually stopped and they left a voicemail. I checked the voicemail and it was a man's voice saying, "Hey, this is F*** You, B***. Principal PK I know where you live and––" and then it cuts off. I had to play it a few times to be certain of what I heard, and I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
I immediately call my husband (who is on a work trip) to tell him about this, and he didn't seem too concerned, but he did call our local Sheriff and they said they would patrol the area and were looking into the phone number who left the voicemail. I also informed our administrator, who was looking into the phone number, as well.
Does this sound like a real threat? My husband seems to think it's someone who is trolling and trying to freak people out. But the fact that he knew my husband's name and said that he knew where he lived was something that really freaked me out.
I'm not sure what to think. I'm just constantly watching outside for someone to show up. I don't want to freak out but I don't want to relax too much either. Any thoughts on this?
Just some notes:
- The authorities were called and the phone number was given to them.
- I searched the phone number on every reverse-caller ID website I could and the results were all people that we didn't know. I have a feeling this person used a spoofed cell phone number.
- I can't leave my house because I have two dogs and no car.
2024.05.14 00:42 Hessellaar What properties of numbers / things did you come up with as a kid before getting any maths education
After reading https://www.reddit.com/math/s/ECcsOjbs5z I realised I also thought of some properties as a very young kid and I think many of us did on here. I was pretty fascinated by even / odd numbers and how odd + even = odd (as a kid I ‘proved’ this by first knowing even + even = even then realising odd = even + 1). I also realised even * odd = even but i couldn’t fully understand why that was the case. I also found it very coincidental that 1 + 2 + …. + 2k = 2{k+1} - 1 for all values of k that I could work out in my head, but couldn’t figure out for the life of me why this worked and it gave me many sleepless nights. I’m interested in hearing your stories as this seems to be common for marhematicians / people with talent for mathematics
submitted by Hessellaar to math [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 00:40 Alarmed_Ad3234 Barbara is going to be euthanized on Wednesday May 15, need a foster and pledges Located at Baldwin Park Animal Shelter 4275 Elton St, Baldwin Park, CA 91706 (626) 962-3577 Animal ID # A5611797
 | 🚨 URGENT: Last Chance to Save Barbara! 🚨We Need A Foster & Pledges Now ‼️ submitted by Alarmed_Ad3234 to National_Pet_Adoption [link] [comments] Time is running out for Barbara, our incredibly sweet and loving 2-year-old pup. Without a foster or adoptive home, she faces the heartbreaking fate of euthanasia before the week is over. 😢💔 A rescue could sign on with a foster offer and Pledges 💰!! Barbara is not just any dog – she's super smart, friendly, and incredibly playful. With her fluffy coat and gentle nature, she's like a bundle of love waiting to brighten your life. Volunteers can't stop singing her praises, describing her as an absolute gem who's overflowing with affection. 🌟🐾 We know there's someone out there who can open their heart and home to Barbara. By fostering or adopting her, you're not only saving her life but gaining a loyal companion who will bring endless joy and love into your world. 🏡❤️ Please, don't let Barbara's story end in tragedy. Reach out to us now to give her the second chance she deserves. Together, we can make a difference and ensure that Barbara finds the loving home she so desperately needs. Time is of the essence – let's act now to save Barbara's life! 🙏🐶 #SaveBarbara #FosterBarbara #AdoptDontShop NEW A5611797 Barbara German Shepherd A5611797 Barbara is a lovely girl! She’s brilliant, has cute mannerisms, and is a very dainty size for a German Shepherd.-2-year-old, spayed female -41 lbs - petite! -German Shepherd -Brown fur, very soft -cute ears that stand up -Came to the Baldwin Park Shelter as a stray on 3/07 -Sweet and affectionate -loves attention -Offers her paw to shake or “pet” you -Is really good at fetch! Brings the ball back every time -Wants a family to love and protect and fulfill her innate sense of duty -Good with other dogs -Signs of housebreaking -Medium energy -Knows commands like “sit” and “shake” Barbara is an extraordinary girl, exuding a perfect blend of playfulness and loyalty. With her steadfast heart and unwavering protective instincts, she eagerly steps into the role of a beloved guardian, ready to fiercely protect and cherish those closest to her. Look up this or other animals at Baldwin Park Animal Care Center https://animalcare.lacounty.gov/view-our-animals/ Use their unique ID NUMBER. You can also stop by or call… Address: 4275 Elton St, Baldwin Park, CA 91706 (626) 962-3577 For more information, contact volunteer Mike at mike@unitedhopeforanimals.org #rescuedog #adoptdontshop #dogrescue #shelterdogs #dog #baldwinparkshelterhttps://www.instagram.com/reel/C67ODzIPBzF/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== |