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2024.05.14 07:19 EJC28 Buccaneers 2024 Draft Analysis Compilation

Round 1, Pick 26 - Graham Barton, C, Duke:
NFL: The Buccaneers fortify the offensive line with an experienced player who offers position flexibility. His elite presence on the interior should help elevate the run game and keep Baker Mayfield upright.
CBS Sports: A. This is a great pick. They have major issues at center and a question at left guard and he can play both. I love this pick. Barton will move inside from tackle, but he can play there in a pinch too.
ESPN: The Bucs got their top pick of an interior offensive lineman in Barton, who can immediately step in to fill the void left by center Ryan Jensen's retirement. While all but four of Barton's offensive snaps over the last three seasons have come at left tackle -- where he allowed just one sack in 2023 and two in 2022 -- he played 446 snaps at center as a freshman, which is his most natural fit and what caught the Bucs' eye. He plays with a great base, a good anchor and a "nasty temperament" that the Bucs' front office covets.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Likes his coffee hot and water cold which is actually reasonable.
Round 2, Pick 57 - Chris Braswell, DE, Alabama:
NFL: It's not often that a player with two college starts lands inside the top 60 picks, but Braswell did emerge last season as a jack of all trades for the Crimson Tide. At the very least, he could be a terrific special-teamer, but the Bucs likely hope to develop Braswell's pass-rush arsenal and squeeze even more out of his terrific athletic profile.
CBS Sports: A+. Had early RD2 grade on this outside rusher. Length, methodical pass-rush moves, deceptive power. Very productive generating pressure at Alabama. Sets a sturdy edge. A need in the post Shaq Barrett era.
ESPN: While the Bucs did sign Randy Gregory in free agency, he'll likely wind up being more of a rotational player opposite second-year edge YaYa Diaby. What they've needed is a replacement for Shaquil Barrett, who departed for the Miami Dolphins in free agency. Braswell's three forced fumbles in 2023 were tied for the most in the SEC, while his 42 pressures were the third most in the SEC. His eight sacks were tied for the fifth most in the SEC after having 2.5 sacks from 2020 to 2022. He also had 53 coverage snaps in 2023, which Todd Bowles does ask of his edge rushers. Braswell played 41 games with Crimson Tide but only made two starts, both of which came last season.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: He only likes the yellow part of the gummy worm.
Round 3, Pick 89 - Tykee Smith, S, Georgia:
NFL: Smith has a Mike Edwards-like projection, so it's easy to see why the Bucs took Smith here, in the same range they drafted Edwards in 2019. Although Smith is undersized and not an elite athlete, he has the nose for the ball and enough special-teams value to be a contributor in Year 1.
CBS Sports: B-. Slot defender / safety hybrid closer to slot CB size but doesn’t have those quicks. Surprisingly powerful hitter at his size and plays with a lot of conviction when tracking the football. Super-smart in coverage. Reads QB’s in a flash which helps him play faster than his timed speed.
ESPN: The Bucs see Smith as a nickel, and he played 80% of snaps in the slot with Bowles keeping a close watch on the UGA program, where his son, Troy, plays. They started undrafted free agent rookie Christian Izien last year and signed Tavierre Thomas in free agency, but their secondary as a whole needs more takeaways, which is where Smith comes in. His four interceptions in 2023 were tied for the third most in the SEC. He was also one of three FBS players with four or more interceptions and two or more sacks in 2023 alongside Michigan's Mike Sainristil and UNLV's Cameron Oliver.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Ribs. This man loves ribs. Cannot get enough ribs!
Round 3, Pick 92 - Jalen McMillan, WR, Washington:
NFL: A smooth-moving slot or outside receiver, McMillan returned from injury to help the Huskies make it all the way to the national title game. He has big mitts, good hands and more juice than he's sometimes given credit for. This is a really nice weapon to add to the Bucs' WR room.
CBS Sports: B+. Crafty, complete wideout with a trademark trait. Runs quality routes. Adequate separation. Not a burner. Not slow. Tracks it with good concentrations. Not a huge YAC type nor someone who thrives when leaping for the football in traffic. Robert Woods type with a bit more juice.
ESPN: The Bucs declined No. 3 wide receiver Russell Gage's option this year, and he was released. Mike Evans will also be 31 and Chris Godwin enters the third and final year of his contract, worth $20 million per year. McMillan can line up inside or outside but 33 of his 45 receptions came out of the slot in 2023, and he caught six passes out of the backfield. He's also a master of the post route. His six touchdown catches on post routes since 2022 are tied for the most in the FBS, while his 253 receiving yards on post route concepts since 2022 are the 10th most in the FBS.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Still willing to try and get the band back together.
Round 4, Pick 125 - Bucky Irving, RB, Oregon:
NFL: Bucky to the Bucs keeps the run on Ducks going. He's not terribly fast but can get up to max speed quickly and might end up as a decent complement to Rachaad White, even if they do similar things well.
CBS Sports: A. Bad testing figures - - despite reasonable speed - - but one of the most elusive, hard-to-corral RBs over the last few drafts. Smaller stature. Decent contact balance too. Weapon in the receiving game, and of course, out in space. Fun addition.
ESPN: The Bucs have had the league's worst rushing attack over the last two seasons (82.9 yards per game) and wanted to bolster competition. Irving is 5-9 and 192 pounds and ran a 4.55 40-yard dash at the NFL combine -- 14th among 20 running backs. While his testing was not great, the tape shows production. He topped 1,000 rushing yards in each of his two seasons at Oregon, including 1,180 with 11 touchdowns in 2023. He broke or evaded an FBS-high 144 tackles since 2022, and he had 896 rushing yards between the tackles in 2023, averaging 7.1 yards per rush. His 56 receptions last season led all FBS running backs.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: He once ate an 8 layer peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Round 6, Pick 220 - Elijah Klein, OG, UTEP:
NFL: With 55 college starts and good length, Klein has a chance to make it in Tampa. He's stiff and might be an inside-only blocker, however.
CBS Sports: C. Smooth operator at guard. Quality run-blocking abilities. Opens the gate too soon in pass pro and not ultra experienced there. Not many true sets in college.
ESPN: The Bucs didn't re-sign Matt Feiler or Aaron Stinnie, who both started at left guard last season. Along with Cody Mauch, they finished with a combined 70.2% run blocking win rate among guards -- 16th in the league last year. None of them finished in the top 50 in pass block win rate either. The Bucs did sign free agent Sua Opeta from the Philadelphia Eagles, and Klein will compete with those two. Klein allowed 1.3% pressures at UTEP and in 45 games, he allowed four sacks with a 1.6% blown run block rate. In 2023, he allowed one sack all season.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Always wondered how Raymans hands worked if he doesn’t have arms.
Round 7, Pick 246 - Devin Culp, TE, Washington:
NFL: Culp shocked a few people when he ran a 4.47-second 40-yard dash, but his 230-pound frame figures to limit his role quite a bit. Even so, Culp improved each college season and has some unrealized potential as an H-back.
CBS Sports: B+. Smaller, speedster H-back TE type. Was very underutilized at Washington but flashed when given the opportunity. Made some impressive snags in traffic. Not much YAC-wise but can run away from second-level defenders if given space.
ESPN: The Bucs' 502 combined yards from tight ends last year was third worst, and they needed to bolster competition at the position. At 6-3 and 231 pounds, Culp ran a 4.47s 40-yard dash at the scouting combine, which was the fastest among tight ends this year. But he'll need to improve as an in-line blocker, which is where his size is a concern. He's also had some drops with six (8.8% drop rate) in 28 games.
NFL Absolutely Not Fake News: Has soft hands… both ON and OFF the field.
submitted by EJC28 to buccaneers [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 07:18 Camp-North Summer Camps For Kids

Summer Camps For Kids
Title: "Exploring the Benefits and Excitement of Summer Camps for Kids"
Introduction:
Summer camps hold a special place in the hearts of many children and parents alike. These retreats offer a unique blend of adventure, learning, and socialization, creating memories that last a lifetime. In this article, we'll delve into the world of summer camps for kids, exploring their benefits, popular activities, and tips for choosing the right camp for your child.
Benefits of Summer Camps:
  1. Outdoor Exploration: Summer camps often take place in natural settings, providing children with opportunities to explore the great outdoors. Whether it's hiking through forests, swimming in lakes, or roasting marshmallows around a campfire, these experiences foster a deep appreciation for nature and encourage physical activity.
  2. Seasonal social Development: Camps bring together children from diverse backgrounds, allowing them to form new friendships and develop important social skills. Through teamwork, cooperation, and shared experiences, campers learn to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and build confidence in their interactions with others.
  3. Personal Growth: Away from the familiar comforts of home, children have the chance to step out of their comfort zones and embrace new challenges. From trying out new sports and creative arts to conquering fears through outdoor adventures, summer camps empower kids to discover their strengths, overcome obstacles, and build resilience.
  4. Skill Building: Many camps offer specialised programs focused on developing specific skills or interests, such as music, theatre, sports, or STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics). These immersive experiences allow children to hone their talents, explore new passions, and gain valuable knowledge in a supportive environment.
Popular Activities at Summer Camps:
  1. Sports and Recreation: From soccer and basketball to swimming and rock climbing, sports activities are a staple of many summer camps. These activities not only promote physical fitness but also teach valuable lessons in teamwork, sportsmanship, and leadership.
  2. Arts and Crafts: Creative arts and crafts workshops allow campers to unleash their imagination and express themselves through painting, drawing, pottery, and other artistic endeavors. These hands-on activities foster creativity, fine motor skills, and a sense of pride in one's work.
  3. Adventure and Outdoor Skills: Whether it's navigating a ropes course, learning to build a fire, or embarking on a wilderness hike, adventure-based activities challenge campers to push their limits, develop problem-solving skills, and connect with nature in meaningful ways.
  4. STEM Exploration: Camps focused on science, technology, engineering, and mathematics offer interactive workshops, experiments, and projects that spark curiosity and foster a love for learning. From robotics and coding to astronomy and environmental science, these programs inspire campers to explore the wonders of the world around them.
Tips for Choosing the Right Camp:
  1. Consider Your Child's Interests: Look for a camp that aligns with your child's passions and preferences, whether it's sports, arts, nature, or academics.
  2. Research Camp Options: Explore different types of camps, read reviews, and reach out to camp organizers to learn more about their programs, facilities, and staff qualifications.
  3. Evaluate Safety Measures: Prioritize camps that prioritize the safety and well-being of campers, with trained staff, proper supervision, and emergency protocols in place.
  4. Involve Your Child in the Decision: Discuss camp options with your child and involve them in the decision-making process to ensure they feel excited and invested in the experience.
Conclusion:
Summer camps offer children a world of adventure, learning, and friendship, providing valuable opportunities for personal growth and exploration. Whether it's mastering new skills, making lifelong memories, or simply enjoying the joys of childhood in the great outdoors, the benefits of summer camps are boundless. By choosing the right camp and embracing the spirit of adventure, parents can set their children on a path to a summer filled with fun, discovery, and endless possibilities.
Camp North Star is situated in beautiful Poland Spring, Maine, surrounded by many beautiful and natural landscapes that we get to share and enjoy with our campers. Trips are offered every session and happen on the days we are not on our normal activity schedule. Trip days are a time to relax and enjoy time with friends and bunkmates.
Camp North Star is the top premier Maine sleepaway camp for boys & girls. We offer the best overnight summer camps for kids & teens in New England. Call Now: (207)998-4777.
We give Different types of camp north star like-
Thank You, For More Service’s Please Visit Our Websites.

submitted by Camp-North to u/Camp-North [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 06:56 lightning-lu10 Summary of GPT-4o live event

Overview

In this presentation, OpenAI's Mira Murati introduces the latest advancements in their AI technology, specifically focusing on the new iteration named GPT-4o. The session includes announcements, live demonstrations, and interactions with the audience to showcase the capabilities of GPT-4o.

Key Announcements

Accessibility and Usability Enhancements
Mira highlights OpenAI's commitment to making advanced AI tools broadly accessible. Significant efforts are being made to reduce friction in using ChatGPT's capabilities, including the introduction of a desktop version that is simpler and more natural to use (21s). This approach ensures that everyone, regardless of their user status (free or paid), can benefit from the latest AI technology.
Launch of GPT-4o
The core of Mira's announcement is the launch of GPT-4o, a new flagship model of ChatGPT that brings the advanced intelligence of GPT-4 to a broader audience, including free users (1m 5s). GPT-4o aims to improve the ease and naturalness of AI interactions, marking a significant step forward in machine-human collaboration.
Demonstrations of GPT-4o Capabilities
Mira and her team demonstrate various features of GPT-4o, emphasizing its improved performance across text, vision, and audio:
Voice Capabilities
Mark Chen and Barrett Zoph showcase the real-time conversational abilities of GPT-4o, highlighting how it can handle interruptions, pick up on emotions, and generate responses with varied emotional tones (9m 33s).
Vision Capabilities
The vision capabilities of GPT-4o enable it to interpret and interact with visual content.
Real-Time Translation
The model's capability for real-time translation is tested by translating between English and Italian seamlessly, enabling communication in multilingual scenarios (22m 55s).
Emotion Detection
Barrett tests if GPT-4o can determine emotions from facial expressions. ChatGPT successfully identifies happiness and cheerfulness from a selfie, indicating its potential in understanding human emotions through vision (23m 44s).
Future Prospects and Wrap-Up
Mira concludes by emphasizing the OpenAI team's dedication to progressing AI technology responsibly and effectively. She expresses gratitude to the OpenAI team and partners for their efforts and contributions. The session wraps up with anticipation for future updates and innovations (25m 20s).
The presentation illustrates GPT-4o's enhanced capabilities in natural language processing, real-time interaction, and multimodal understanding, reflecting OpenAI’s ongoing commitment to making advanced AI technology accessible and user-friendly.
https://www.anytldr.com/summary/introducing-gpt-4o/f-Ip5MP3YQIu6q6l
submitted by lightning-lu10 to OpenAI [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 06:38 chain_choker 11 year age gap?

I’d like to begin this invitation of advice or experiences by stating that what I want in life is a partner who feels like home, will always give me their genuine effort, & will love me through all of the highs, mediums, & lows of life.
I specifically want to know about any advice or things I should consider when it comes to the age gap I have with the man I’m seriously considering making a staple & serious part of my life. I (29f) met Chance (40m) 3 years ago & we have been seeing each other for a little over a year. We met at the middle school in which we both work- he’s the social worker, I’m the art teacher. When I first saw him, he looked like a meat head (he’s pretty muscular, bald, beard, wears hoodies) & I’ve always been into nerds so it never occurred to me that I’d end up attracted to him. The first year we knew each other, it was very surface level, & then, during the second year of my time at the school, I got to know him better, as I did a few coworkers I now consider close friends. This second year of friendship was also a tough period for me as I was going through a divorce from a 5 year relationship with a man who wasn’t on the same life path as me & kind of made me dislike myself just for being me (wanting kids, needing to be intrinsically motivated in my career rather than financially motivated)- basically he was type A & I am B. Anyhow, as I was processing my divorce & creating friendships, I got to know Chance better both at work & at hang outs with friends outside of work. I watched how the kids at school just flocked to him & how kind he was with everybody. He coached the basketball team, did an after school program with the SRO to help at risk kids, & often stepped in to help others with tasks that weren’t related to his job as social worker. & he always did it with a positive attitude & good sense of humor. People just LIKE him, you know? It became obvious that he was just a really good person. One day, we had a discussion about kids & how we both wanted them. He told me I’d be a great mother because of how I treat the students & I told him he’d also be a wonderful parent. & he cast his spell on me & I slowly started falling for him. I couldn’t quite figure it out. Here I was, recently divorced from a relationship that had a tremendous affect on me mentally/emotionally, & I was gaining feelings for a man who was very different from my ex, & 11 years older than me. Was I just looking for a distraction? Was I using him to boost my confidence up after it had spent so much time at all time low? Or was I simply recognizing that this man had all of the features that I’d been missing in my past relationship & maybe I should pay attention to that? I was worried that my judgement post- divorce couldn’t possibly be clear, so I expressed that I had feelings for him but had to take things very slow. I was a bit of a mess as I tried to take the initial steps to get closer to him. I’d get emotional & have somewhat of a panic attack, or I’d go through some wishy washy phases when it came to wanting to see him in general. No matter what it was, he said that he understood, he wasn’t going anywhere, & that he just wanted me to be ok. He’d always ask what he could do to help & what I needed from him to feel better. If we were kissing & he felt that I wasn’t comfortable, he’d stop. One time he could tell that I wasn’t feeling great & he cried because he thought he’d made me feel bad. Needless to say, he was always there for me & ACTUALLY cared about how I felt. As we got closer, he was always respectful, would leave me flowers on random or special occasions (like when I was in an art show that he attended, or the first day of a new semester at work), wanted to make things like holidays memorable for me (one time I specifically thought was sweet was when he decorated my place with a Christmas tree & lights because “it’s your first Christmas in your new apartment, it should be festive!”). I consistently got solid evidence that he was emotionally mature, ready for a relationship, & wanted the same things as me.
So, I thought, “why is this sweet, courteous, kind, responsible, funny man single?” I’d heard some woman at work “pick” at him about this & say “I just don’t get how you’re single!” & I honestly wondered myself. You always heard that it’s a ref flag if a man dates a woman over 10 years younger & that it’s because “women his age didn’t want him”. Well, there are a few rational explanations I could think of: 1. He’d been sexually abused by his stepsister for years as a child. He’d told me that he’d had a few relationships during his 20s & 30s, but they didn’t last long & he’d had some issues with women not dealing with his anxiety around sex well. With me, this was not an issue, really. We’d taken the physical really slow, & when one of us felt anxiety as things heated up, the other stopped & supported. After a few months, it became a non-issue & we were able to have great sex with no fear that one of us would get anxious. 2. When he was younger (childhood-20s) he was overweight. He began balding in his 20s & so he shaved his head. Maybe there weren’t a lot of women who wanted to be with the overweight, bald guy? Women can be just as shallow as men.
So, I began to try to look for any signs that maybe this man is “grooming” me or something. I looked for issues as well as green lights. How’s his family? His brother is happily married with children & Chance is close with his family, seeing them weekly. What are his friends like? I enjoy his friends. They’re nice, fun people & his best friends are in happy marriages. Does he manipulate you? No, he treats me like a princess (I’m not used to it) & tries to establish healthy relationship patterns (he always insists on a weekly date night, suggests activities together, such as me weight lifting with him & him running with me). He also hypes me up like no other- If I’m wearing a risky outfit that I love but know my mom would insult, BAM Chance is the first one to see it & his jaw drops to the floor. Always telling me how strong, sweet, & cool I am. Made me take his gloves when we went on a snowy hike & I’d forgotten mine. Just basically an endless stream of courtesy.
I have gotten a lot of evidence that this is a solid person with whom I could build a beautiful relationship & family with. Everything he’s shown me has been positive as far as communication, morals, empathy, kindness & life plans is concerned.
So… is the 11 year age gap a concern? Should I be more paranoid about why he is still single, or are my theories valid? Although he goes to the gym daily & is like a kid at heart, should I worry about his age when it comes to us potentially raising kids? He’d likely be 43-45 by the time I was ready for that.
If you have any thoughts, please let me know. Truthfully, I do have other potential options if I pursued them & I’m not afraid of being alone, but I’m feeling that I’d like to commit to a relationship.
submitted by chain_choker to relationships_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 06:24 Dizzy_Instance8781 Burned out and smoldering....

I'm not exactly thrilled to confess this, and certainly not proud to say it, but I've hit burnout, and it hit back hard. I've reached a point where my reserves are spent; I have nothing left to offer. These days, I find myself merely occupying my desk, a shell of my usual self. The mental and emotional exhaustion has become so overwhelming that the simplest tasks feel Herculean. I can't muster the energy to hunt down even the most uninspiring worksheet, let alone stand by the copier making duplicates. And as for managing classroom discipline—getting them to put away their phones? Forget it. I endure the idle chatter and malaise.
Yet, amidst this fog of fatigue, I somehow manage to keep one part of my role alive: I still engage with my students. I make it a point to validate their feelings, their thoughts, and their efforts, even if my own spirit feels utterly depleted. It's this connection, however fragile, that I cling to—a reminder of why I stepped into this role, to begin with. I've slipped into a mode of pure survival, passive and disengaged in many ways, but still committed to nurturing their growth, just by being present in whatever capacity I can manage. At least, I hope...
I feel somewhat guilty. But it is what it is,,2-3 more weeks?!
Anyone else feel this way?
surely I can't be alone!
submitted by Dizzy_Instance8781 to Teachers [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 06:21 No_Argument2217 Girlfriend of 4 years that I was planning proposing to flushed away her future with me by sleeping with a bunch of guys and "partying" away her savings. SUPER LONG

I currently (40M) had my ex (35F) completely destroy our relationship while I was working out of town for a few months. This happened a year ago and wish I had these stories as a resource while going through it. I have just started to use Reddit and been reading the experiences of others here and have decided to share my story in hopes it will maybe help others. That way some good may come from some of the worst times of my life.
A little backstory for context for the story and insight to some of the decisions I made. When I turned 30 I left the major city in my Province (it is like a state if you are an American) because buying just a simple house is over a million dollars and I don't make near enough to afford that. My goal was to move to somewhere more rural to buy a house, meet someone, get married and have a child or two. It was my only dream I had and believed I could attain it. I lived out in the bush on my step dads property in a run down trailer I bought so I could save money for the first 3 years. I had my dog but the loneliness of living in the middle of nowhere had got to me. By then I had saved a fair amount of money, so I decided to move into the town. It was nice, it cut my commute down by 40 minutes, I had started to make a few friends and no longer felt so isolated. It was through my friends I met my future ex. Let's call her Kali. She had a long term boyfriend when we first met. Their relationship ended a couple of years after meeting her and we started dating a few months after.
We mostly had a great relationship for the next 4 years. The only thing was it was on again off again. She would dump me after I did anything really special for her for a week and beg me to take her back. It was like clockwork. I used to think it was because of her depression and that she didn't believe she deserved to be truly happy. Nowadays I actually think she might have been cheating the whole time and just felt guilty about it when I did nice stuff for her but I will never know the truth. I don't care what the reality is anymore anyway, Time has a funny way of making stuff like that irrelevant. We did have one bigger break of about 5 months. When it happened I took time off work to travel in my RV the whole time. From spring to summer. I really didn't like the town I lived in and decided to use that time to check out the rest of my Provence to figure out where I wanted to restart my life. She was basically the only reason I stayed for so long. I did have a decent job and family close by but most people I met there were not good people. Lots of drug users, liars, and general scumbags. I had only a few real friends there. After I got back and had decided where I was going to move to she had decided she wanted me back. She begged me to stay and be with her. She told me that she wanted to get serious. We started making real progress about getting married, having kids and looking at buying a house. Everything was coming up Milhouse and I couldn't be happier. So You can probably guess this is when my tale becomes interesting for you and life got real bad for me.
My career is seasonal. I work from spring to the end of fall and can go on unemployment insurance or find work. My dad had asked if I could help on his farm breeding horses that winter when I had still planned to leave my town. I had promised him that I would because it would give me a place to stay before people in my field of work would be looking for employees. This had been agreed upon before me and Kali had got back together. Now I have always been a man of my word. It's something I take great pride in. I have always hated liars. I don't mind a little embellishment to make a story more fun or if two people's stories are different as long as they both believe that was how the events happened. Everyone remembers things slightly off. She was upset that I had intended to keep my word to my dad but I had every second weekend off. The town my dad is in was only a 2 hour drive. So I told her I would be back twice monthly for weekends and that it would only be for 4 months. For the first two months everything seemed fine. During this time I started to look at rings to pop the question and booked an expensive spa for two days in May to propose. There was only one weird thing that happened during the first two months. On one of my visits she confided in me that her brother's wife had cheated on him and that their newborn baby was most likely not his. I was shocked that she not only knew but didn't plan to tell him. She said she didn't want to tell him for fear of breaking up the family. I told her that he has the right to know and that she was being a bad sister by knowing and not telling him. I also informed her if he found out she knew and didn't say anything that he would most likely kick her out of his life. She made me swear I wouldn't tell him. Even though I thought it was wrong I did agree to not say anything. It did get me wondering how she could not only not tell him but stay friends with someone that could do that to her brother. I think that's when I started to question her morals. The third month she asked that I didn't come out because she was "sick". I told her I didn't care, I could still come out and take care of her. She convinced me that she didn't want me to come so I just worked on the farm instead. I switched weekends so I could come out the next instead of in two weekends. The weekend she was "sick" her phone was off the whole time, lasting into the week. She told me her phone went through the washing machine. She was actually on a bender but I didn't learn that till later.
So I head out the following weekend. As soon as I arrive I start getting super sketchy vibes. I was already weirded out about the stuff with her brother and ghosting me for 4 days as we talked/texted multiple times a day normally. At first she acts great to me, cooks me steak and we go out to the bush to have a fire in the snow. At the fire she really started drinking heavily. She then mentions a guy she had been hanging with lets call him Brad. So alarm bells start going through my head. We go back to her house and she keeps drinking. I wanted to keep a clear head so I only had three beers all evening. She put her phone down unlocked because of how drunk she was and I took it to the bathroom with me to look up texts between them. I felt so guilty for doing it at first but once I see the text between the two of them the guilt is replaced with rage. I go to her room to confront her and she breaks down. First, how dare I go through her phone, this never would have happened if I would have broken my promise to my dad, nothing really happened between them, blah, blah, blah. I was furious and drove off. She blows up my phone the whole time. I don't answer. Ten minutes after I left her mother called me. She lives at her moms house. I took the call and her mom said she is freaking out and has harmed herself. I decide to go back and she has a bandage wrapped around her arm. Her mom hid all the sharp objects she could find. She was having a full on panic attack and begs me to not leave. I told her I would stay if she told me the truth. She admits to hooking up with him one time just that last weekend when she asked me not to come out. It kind of matches the messages and I believe her. I stay there till she falls asleep. Once she does I send Brad a text saying that she has a boyfriend with some screen shots of our conversations me and her have had that week. I was about to drive back to the farm when the dude called her phone. I pick up the call and tell him I am her boyfriend. He asks if that was a joke and I assure him it is not. He said he didn't know and actually apologized. I tell him that I'm pissed but if he didn't know I couldn't blame him. I should have asked him more questions but I was tired, not thinking straight and just wanted to go back to the Farm even though it was two am by this point. I get home and crash. Turned my ringer off because I know once she wakes up she will start calling like crazy. After getting the horses in for the night I decided to look at my phone for the first time all day. Around thirty missed calls and a ton of texts. I decide I need another day before I talk to her. Now while the whole day all I can think about is that it was just one time, she seems to be genuinely remorseful about it, how I'm 39 and really want children before I get too old. I took a call from her the next day on Sunday in the morning. She is still wasted. She hadn't stopped drinking since I was there Friday. We talk and I tell her that I am really upset but am willing to give us another chance. I still was in love with her and wanted to have kids, get married and buy a house with her. It was the dream I felt I worked so hard for. She was so happy I took her back and swore to me nothing like this would ever happen again. Basically I was a fool lol.
So I decided on my next set of days off to borrow my stepdads summer home on the river so we can have the place to ourselves. I grab food that she loves so I can cook her dinner and try to make it very romantic. I want to rekindle my love with her so I wanted to go all out on an amazing weekend. I pick her up and she is already a little drunk. I kind of wanted to hang sober but I don't wanna mess up with her so don't say anything thinking we can do a sober day when I take her out to go shopping and dinner the next day. When we get there she gets hammered. Kali had brought a big of bottle fireball on top of a bunch of white claws. I again didn't really drink that night. Once she was drunk and tired I carried her to the bed. As Kali is in my arms she looks up at me and says in slurred words "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Joe" I ask "what did you just say?". "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Brad" she replied. I put her to bed and my mind starts racing. Now her ex before me has a really close name to the one she said first but I also know she has a friend named Joe I only met a couple of times. They were not close or even hung out but were more like acquaintances. I go in her purse to look at her phone again but the battery is dead and I can't find her charger. I have an Iphone so I can't charge it up to look. I didn't sleep that well that night with everything going on in my head. I woke up at 6 am to her being very loud on the phone. I went out to the living room and she had drank all the booze left over from the night before. I ask her who she was on the phone with and she tells me an uber to leave. I ask why is she going to leave? Kali tells me she is upset that I tried to get into her phone. Guess I didn't put it back in her purse. Must have been out of sorts and forgot. I tell her I can drive her once I go to the washroom and get some clothes on. I go to do that, come out of the washroom to see Kali has already left. She was so drunk that she had left half her stuff behind. I decided to have breakfast before bringing her stuff to her house. After breakfast I packed her stuff into my SUV and noticed it had snowed that night. I could see her footprints out into the driveway. While Dropping off her stuff I noticed there were no footprints leading to her house, so I tried calling Kali. No answer. I left her stuff in the snow and decided to drive by her brothers and sisters house to see if there were footprints going into any of their houses but there were none. I sent her a nasty text about knowing she didn't go home, to go be with Brad or Joe or whoever and never call me again. It was a lot more profane than that but that's the gist of it. Cleaned up the house my stepdad lent me and back off to the farm yet again. The next day she blows up my phone and again I wait another day to talk to her. She tells me that she went home but I know that can't be true from the snow, but she says I must have been mistaken. She apologizes for getting drunk and leavening and that she is going to stop drinking after her birthday in two weeks. She has rented a hotel in the town I'm in for her birthday and wants to spend it with me. I agree just because I have to know the truth and want to look at her phone to make sure I am not crazy. She had gaslit me to the point I was questioning what I saw with my own eyes. A couple of days later I decided to send Joe a message on Facebook to see if he would give me the truth. I get a text from her telling me not to bug her friend and that she is embarrassed. I apologize and tell her I am excited about her birthday soon.
The weekend of her birthday comes so I go to meet her at the hotel. She brought her sister and other friend along. It actually is a really fun time. The girls did coke the first night into the second evening. I don't really like it but I figured she can let loose especially if she is going to stop drinking after her birthday. I also knew by Saturday night that they would all crash hard so it would give me time to look at her phone so I could know the truth. As I mentioned the weekend was really fun so I felt bad about going into her phone yet again. I did it anyway and my whole world came crashing down. Now I figured that I would maybe see Brad or Joe texts and Facebook messages. Seemed like Brad was done but Joe and her were totally hooking up. I also found out that she had slept with 3 other guys. I also saw she was using coke all the time now. She did it maybe three times a year when we dated but now it was every weekend. It looked like she started using regularly right before I left for the farm. Joe helped get it for her too, out of all the guys he was the one she hung with the most. Turns out he was also a meth head who was trying to quit for her. She also went to his house the morning she left the other weekend to hook up and buy coke. I was floored. I just staired and took screen shots till the early morning. I decided I wasn't just going to dump her but I wanted to ruin her life not realizing she was already doing that all by herself but hindsight is 20 20. So I started coming up with a plan of what I was going to do. I woke up the next morning and acted like everything was fine and went back to the farm. I was still so upset and didn't want to harm myself or others so had a family friend take my firearms for a while. I don't think I would have used them on myself or others but I knew I wasn't thinking clearly and didn't want them in my house while I was like that.
I didn't have to see her till I moved back because the next set I had off I had tickets for a concert in the city I used to live in. During that time all I thought about was how I was going to do something to ruin her life. I came up with some small things but my main plan was to pretend like we were fine and ghost her when my contract was up with my boss next winter. I had promised him another year after kali and I had gotten back together. Just typing it out makes me look back and cringe that I was so crazy. When I went to the city for the concert I told my best friend, my brother and a few others my plan. No one liked it and thought I should just go no contact, cut her straight out of my life. That probably was the smart thing to do but emotion was clouding my judgement. Also you all would get this story. They even informed me that because I would be lying to her, that I would be compromising my morals and turning into a worse person they didn't recognize. I either didn't see it that way or care. I have a hard time recalling what my brain was thinking during that time. All seems like a haze now that it's been a year. I think I was really upset that my dream and all I had worked for was ruined. A friend later said I may have been in love with the dream and not her. Maybe that's the reason I kept up all this insanity.
My time on the farm had come to an end and I was moving back to the town me and my ex lived in. I was set with my plan, excited to implement it and have what I considered just. But you know what they say of the best laid plans. My ex wanted to go to hang at her brothers as a welcome home party. I went but ended up drinking. Heavily drinking, to the point of black out. I don't remember much from that night but have had it recounted for me. I woke up in the drunk tank. Guess I couldn't lie and play it cool then huh? The story I was told later is, while at her brothers I had gotten drunk and loud. Kept waking up the new baby and we were asked to leave. So we caught a cab and I confronted her in the cab but all I could do was call her a lying, cheating, whore on repeat. She got upset and ran into the house locking me out. I had a bunch of my stuff in her house so I went to the door and demanded she let me in. All the while still only referring to her as the aforementioned 3 words. She told me to leave but my jacket and wallet were inside. It was below freezing at night still and probably wouldn't have made it home in the state I was in. I then kicked in her door to keep calling her LCW and grab my stuff. She was on the phone to the police, so I was taken away by them. One of the lowest points in my life. It still brings me so much shame to this day but it is what happened and I am not going to sugar coat it. I never laid a finger on her and I am so happy that I hadn't. Laying hands on women in that way is one of the scummiest things a man can do. I had to go back to her house once they let me out because my stuff was still there. I apologized to her mom who had been at her boyfriends that evening promising to repair the door for her. Kali begged me to talk to her and like an idiot I didn't just leave. I told her I saw everything and she only admitted to Brad and Joe. Lying about them and the others the whole time. Even when I brought up the screen shots she still couldn't come clean. I left just shaking my head. There is still a ton to this story but this is long enough. I could do a part 2 if there is interest. Catching you folks up to where I am now and the messed up things that happened in between.
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2024.05.14 06:20 unceasingfish Bachelorette weekend gone to s***

Hello everyone, I have had an interesting trip to say the least.
Backstory, me and the bride met in middle school at a summer Christian camp. We went to the same school, but she was a year older than me. We were close friends in high school but drifted during college because that’s what typically happens.
Fast forward, she graduated last year and moved back with her fiancé. We linked up afterwards and our friendship is doing great. I was invited to the wedding, not a bridesmaid which is not a problem because I am so happy that she met someone who cares for her. I just wanted to clear that up because I know some will jump to conclusions (looking at you Charlotte, if you’re even reading this).
Now, the bride invited me to the bachelorette weekend and of course I accepted because who doesn’t like a girls exclusive weekend?! She got it for free from one of the bridesmaids and asked if she could bring me since one of the other bridesmaids just gave birth. She accepted!
We will call the owner of the beach house Stella. Stella was fun to be around and seemed to have a great sense of humor. I found her to be passive aggressive towards me, after seeing my necklace (I have a birthstone that my bf gave me, a cremation necklace for my dog who recently passed {bf also got me that bc he’s a sweetheart and we love a good gentleman around here}, and lastly a cross with an infinity thing). She stared at my chest a lot, I originally thought that she was just enamored or jealous by my enormous jugs (I am a size H) and shrugged it off.
Later we were playing drinking games in the house (still the first night) and every thing was great! Stella suggested that we play truth and dare, which I didn’t like because I thought that it was too high-schooly, but I went along anyways. After everyone had gone around, Stella suggested spicing things up. I was interested by replacing the truth rule with drinking, but immediately thrown off when she suggested stripping.
As I stated earlier, I have size H boobs, I have always been self conscious about them, especially since they have scars from open heart surgery. Stella said we would have to work our way from the top to the bottom and then first one out of clothes had to streak. I thought it was an insane idea, but really who am I to judge as a Christian? That’s Gods job, not mine.
I politely declined and told the girls that I would be on the balcony watching the waves because I was uncomfortable with showing my boobs to everyone because I am not good with dares.
Needless to say Stella threw a fit and called me a boring Bible thumper. I had not mentioned my faith at that point during the ENTIRE day. The bride stepped in and asked if we could just cut out the stripping part. That must have hit a few nerves because Stella told her that there was no way that she was taking my side because she knew what Christians had done to her in the past.
Now I had no idea that she had any religious trauma and I feel bad that evil people severed her relationship with God because of their selfishness. I think it’s awful that so many hijack Christianity for evil and I do not blame her for the conclusions that she had jumped to about all Christians.
Turns out my friend had never mentioned that she was a Christian because of Stella’s disdain. Shit hit the fan when the bride told Stella that she was a Christian and that we became friends at a Christian camp. She freaked out and said that she could not believe that she had been lied to all of these years (they became friends 2 years ago) and that she could not stand to be around ‘disgusting Bible thumpers for any longer’.
We were all drunk. None of us could drive. And Stella wanted me and the bride out. The other bridesmaids were trying to calm Stella down and reassure her that not all Christians are menaces. Stella went to her room rambling about how I had made her friend (the bride) a homophobic witch.
We stayed the night, hoping Stella was too drunk to remember (which is where we might have been in the wrong) and hoped for an apology if she did. I honestly thought she would be embarrassed by her behavior. Instead the morning after she doubled down, BROKE DOWN THE DOOR OF THE BEDROOM I WAS STAYING IN, and demanded that the bride and I leave. The bachelorette weekend was then spent in our hometown bar hopping at the few bars there and sleeping at my parents house.
The bride asked Stella to step down and she told the bride to fuck off because she was going to step down anyways. I cash apped her 150 for ‘I’m sorry, here’s some money for a new door’ and she sent it back under ‘I don’t take money from homophobic Bible thumpers’.
I think that was her only insult, I have no fucking idea but man did my friend dodge a bullet. Imagine what Stella’s reaction would have been if a pastor had shown up to the wedding and she had to watch my friend and her fiancé announce their love to Jesus Christ and form a marriage in his name.
And for the question you all may be asking, no, I will not be a bridesmaid because I am graduating college and am broke.
Edit: I was splitting the post into paragraphs to make it easier to read
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2024.05.14 06:19 TotallyNotAjay Quick Kodokan Goshin Jutsu Clinic Write up

This weekend, Ajax Budokan invited Kodokan 9th dan and former head of the Tokyo Police dojo, Michio Fukushima Sensei, to conduct a 4 hour clinic for Kodokan Goshin Jutsu. It was open to yellow belt and higher, though the majority consisted of Yudansha. My senseis had the honour of demoing the kata, as Fukushima Sensei's health did not permit presenting each technique multiple times, though he did show some of the finer details, demo mechanics, and gave comments as to what was good and displayed what could be fixed. He also talked about older versions of the techniques and how/ why they have been changed. Regretfully, it totally slipped my mind to film during the seminar, as there was a lot of good information, translated (and left untranslated) by the interpreter.
Some General Notes on Fukushima Sensei Fukushima Sensei on multiple occasions mentioned how one should carry themselves and move, more specifically he talked about how he usually sees toris get away with bad shisei as uke's attacks are generally to kind or passive, and that if they genuinely attacked, most toris would be off balance. Additionally he mentioned that a lot of IFJ competition now is power judo, where the technical aspects are replaced for brute force and speed.
The main note he makes is to keep the knees alive (slightly bent and bouncy like a spring), and that most novices have a tendency to straight leg their kata. He also made it a great point to explain the logic of the waza in the kata and how the kuzushi is created. Other important details he talked about were that uke shouldn't be a limp noodle once his attack is over, that tori should keep good sabaki (unclear if sabaki was short hand for tai sabaki as he also stated tai sabaki on different occasions (the details were paraphrased by the translator)), and the usage of rotation from the hips to maintain proper balance (tai sabaki). Additionally, he talked about things relating to karada (the body) and some anecdotes (such as stories about judoka such as Michigami, Isao Okano, and Nagaoka if I was hearing correctly, though I don't speak Japanese, only somewhat familiar with it), which were left untranslated or paraphrased sadly.
Emphasised details in the kata (not explanations or descriptions of how to do a technique) and my experiences (FYI Sensei mostly used the Tomiki names for the waza Tori applied)
Attacks when held
  1. Ryote dori - my partner and I (both new to this kata for the most part) went in on this one and struggled as we didn't see the detail of thumb in hand for the lock (blind leading the blind, though we later worked near a kind pair after this who helped check more closely as they were experienced in the kata)
    1. Yahazu (hook shape for hand) is very important to direct uke's arm
    2. You aren't pulling the arm away to free it, you are pushing your elbow forward which pressures uke's arm
    3. Te gatana to the uto (point between uke's eyes)
    4. When applying the lock (te gatame), make sure to rotate uke's hand such that the fingers are pointing up
    5. When applying the lock, take the uke's arm in the direction perpendicular to the line made by his feet
  2. Hidari eri dori - I particularly liked this one, though my uke was confused the first few times as he kept trying to apply waki gatame.
    1. Tori must grab underneath uke's hand on the lapel when stepping back
    2. When grabbing uke's hand to break the grip and apply the lock (kote hineri), tori should have his thumb in between uke's thumb and fingers, and to take the uke's arm in the direction perpendicular to the line made by his feet
    3. Uke should try to maintain jigo tai rather than lean so the lock is applied cleanly
    4. Tori's hand should not be limp when delivering the strike
  3. Migi eri dori - I couldn't get kote gaeshi to work properly, will have to practice and ask my sensei about it later, same with my partner
    1. Tori should maintain a upright posture as uke pulls him forward, and use the landing of his foot to drive his hand for the uppercut to uke
    2. Tori should try to keep uke's hand attached to his centerline as he makes tai sabaki
  4. Kata ude dori - My uke was very stiff, so applying the initial lock to him proved difficult, though he claims he felt it. I found this kata easy to remember as the legs go left right left right (step, step, tai sabaki, kick, then lead with the right for the lock)
    1. You are kicking with the side of the foot
    2. The step before the kick pivot around so your feet are almost parallel
    3. For waki gatame, you should be standing inside his feet, near parallel to the line perpendicular to his feet
  5. Ushiro eri dori - I had experience with this one as sensei had taught during some free time a while back
    1. The parry with the arm was stated to also be the preferred way to receive punches, though take that as you will (though it is a common method in karate as well)
    2. The strike should be to the suigetsu (solar plexus)
    3. Trap uke's hand with your head so that it can't wiggle all over the place when applying the lock
  6. Ushiro jime - My partner and I both had a tendency to lift the shoulder off after spinning out, will have to work on that. I will be honest, had I known this escape, I probably would have come out of an incident a few years back (before I started Judo) rather unscathed as I was jumped and then kicked on the ground by a person who was quite a pain.
    1. The attack and initial defence are identical to that of katame no kata, following which tori rotates out
    2. Keep pressure with your shoulder until your grip has been changed
  7. Kakae dori - We didn't have enough mat space to finish the throw without running into other groups, but the technique is surprisingly effective. Though I couldn't initially find out how to do the armlock and had to ask my sensei about it, now it's pretty easy.
    1. Rotate the arm away from you (clockwise from your perspective) and pull uke's arm into you
    2. During the initial stomp, straighten up and raise your arms to loosen uke's grip
Attacks when at a distance - I got less time to try these in general as I wanted my partner to get a feel for them as they are a bit more complicated and he is less experienced
  1. Naname uchi - this was a fun situation, it shows how a little bit of atemi can be used to setup a randori waza, and Fukushima Sensei complimented my senseis' performance saying that it was better than the current text book
    1. Te gatana is used to redirect the strike
    2. Osoto otoshi is performed
    3. Pushing the arm through is important to create the kuzushi necessary for the waza
  2. Ago tsuki - I didn't actually get a chance to try this one more than once as my partner struggled with it, he kept applying a shoulder lock by pushing on the elbow without the redirect with the thumb up (shoulder is still sore)
    1. when directing uke's attack up and away, do not lean back as then you are unstable
    2. Use yahazu to direct uke's elbow toward his ear
    3. As uke will not like this use the moment after releasing the elbow lock to throw him forward in the direction perpendicular to his feet.
  3. Gammen Tsuki - My partner really liked this one, I can see the uses as I've used similar entries when messing around with strikes + judo with this partner as I have a bit of karate experience
    1. Uke is meant to do a break fall, thus tori needs to get out of the way after releasing the choke
    2. Uke should realistically be aiming for where tori's uto would be if he did not evade
  4. Mae Geri - this was a relatively easy one to grasp, but quite a bit of practice is needed before a full force kick can be considered
    1. Rotate ukes foot outwards so that it is not easy for him to rotate in to escape
    2. In the original, tori would lift uke's leg high but many ukes ended up injured from hitting their heads, so now tori just pushes back
  5. Yoko geri - My sensei has introduced this one at the dojo before as well, though he prefaced it with about a minute of just practicing a side kick. My partner (who suffers from light knee pain) couldn't kneel during the finish
    1. The use of the te gatana to redirect the kick in the direction it is going, very similar to karates low block
    2. During the finish tori creates a void for uke to be thrown but in real life tori would throw uke onto his knee
Attacks with weapons - I understand people dislike these (reasonably in some cases), but I've found them to be useful points to explore
Attacks with a knife - Sensei Fukushima mentioned how despite my senseis making it look easy
Both my partner and I have practiced these quite a lot (I was the only one who was taught it by sensei but we practiced it on our own time), so not as many personal notes. Though I don't have a good experience so my brain switches to serious and my heart rate increases despite the fact that I know these are fake weapons.
  1. Tsukkake
    1. The elbow should be pushed forward (I've actually experimented with this in the past by asking uke to try to stab me as I applied the defence, and we've found after the initial push and strike, tori is in a relatively good position, be it to run away or finish the kata)
    2. Push the locked up arm up and towards uke, then guide him to the ground
  2. Choku zuki - I struggled to apply the waki gatame, I'm guessing it was control of the wrist that was the problem, this form is relatively straight forward and makes sense
    1. The strike should not be a boxer style punch, but more like the first punch in szkt
    2. uke should not go limp
    3. when moving away from uke, take him perpendicular to the line between his feet
  3. Naname Zuki - Personally I think this form is cutting it close in many regards, but the control tori has is quite surprising
    1. Don't grab the blade from the sharp edge
Attacks with a jo - PSA, no matter how much you trust your uke, mistakes happen (especially with such a solid weapon) so remain vigilant to mitigate damage
  1. Furi age - this was a relatively easy technique to grasp as it is an application of O soto gari setup with a palm strike to the chind
    1. Tori should enter as soon as uke begins to raise his arm, almost a preemptive entry
    2. Tori strikes at the ago (chin) with a palm strike, then places his hand on the throat for the throw
  2. Furi oroshi - My partner leant into the swing and wacked me on the forehead, it could've been worse but it just grazed the outer layer as I saw the jo come closer after my initial retreat and attempted to turn out of the way. Both a PSA for tori and uke. Tori do not keep your eyes off uke, and uke please don't lean into a swing, you are horribly off balance, and you make it harder for tori to read. Also uke don't speed up when you 2 are learning (I don't know why my partner chose too...)
    1. Do not hop back onto one leg and then towards uke with the other, it leads you to have bad posture
    2. Better to make a big retreat than get hit
    3. 2 strike, one ura ken (back fist), followed by knife hand push
    4. Uke's swing should be at a diagonal
  3. Morote zuki - I didn't get to practice this one as my partner was taken a bit aback after the previous incident and couldn't get the steps right for this one. Fukushima Sensei mentioned something along the lines of how a judoka was faced with a juken and couldn't figure out what to do, and thus this form was created to address that.
    1. Tori shouldn't be rowing the jow away to shake throw uke
    2. The arm puts pressure on uke's arm forward
    3. Tori should be trying to angle the jo down towards himself after the initial grab
Attacks with a gun - I struggled with all of these, but I think the principles are relatively sound. Though in real life, I'd most likely give up my valuables. Fukushima Sensei emphasised hip rotation in these movements, as he says that you want to direct the gun away without moving your feet, which is what uke would be seeing when looking at your pocket.
Always make sure to begin your defence after uke is clearly focused on checking your pockets, never when his focus is directly on you
  1. Shomen Zuke
    1. Grab the barrel of the gun thumb up
    2. During the disarm, push the gun's muzzle to face towards him
  2. Koshi Gamae - I kept getting the second hand wrong and thus the barallel was pointed towards me in the final attack, will need to work on that
    1. Grab the barrel of gun initially with the thumb down with your right hand, and push the gun so that it is horizontal after turning left, then grab the gun from below with your right
    2. make sure to not point the gun at yourself when hitting with the butt
  3. Haimen Zuke - this is quite a dangerous move in theory, but also one of the more likely ones
    1. Wrap uke's arm with your arm, but make sure to direct the muzzle up with the free arm
    2. [uke] should let go of gun, as this is a hard breakfall
Overarching and repeated themes in the kata
Overall, it was quite a good event, and I learned a lot. This kata isn't the most realistic with the attacks (though apparently a few people I know have used the ryote dori attack shockingly), but what I've learned so far is relatively sound, hopefully some time soon I can convince my partner to do some live resistance sparring with some gear on (which I have done with the knife portion with a plastic knife). Fukushima Sensei had a lot to say, as he was actively discussing his experiences and koshiki no kata after the seminar with another Japanese speaker, and I hope to be able to attend another one of his classes again someday.
Here are some videos featuring Michio Fukushima from a few years back, both where he was actively demoing, and where he had a slightly more corrective position.
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1253474818155243
https://youtu.be/VKgdMJS9eck?si=bGMemLfG9aquAHr1
submitted by TotallyNotAjay to judo [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 06:07 Senior-Supermarket61 Got assaulted by a coworker at my new job.

For context, I work in car sales. I’ve been there two weeks and I have previous experience in both car sales and door to door sales. There are two old school guys there that work floor and attempt to control newer and naive employees without experience by making them split all their deals with them.
I was told on my first day there will be no “racing” to the customer, which I was okay with. If you see someone walking towards a customer, you back down. I was not treated with the same respect so therefore I began racing the other employees. I had no problem, it’s a competitive job after all.
Today while approaching customers, I had waved down one and begun walking towards them. The customer had acknowledged me and a coworker of mine was standing in the parking spot they were in. I was already standing next to the vehicle and I step towards the door to greet the customer. It’s a bit pushy but you won’t make any sales here with how competitive these guys are unless you are pushy like this. Well, my coworker sees and decides to step in front of me, to which I responded by moving to his side. My coworker gets enraged, and in front of the customer, grabs my arm and attempts to throw me to the ground and begins cursing, threatening, and screaming at me. I told him that he needs to calm down, we work the same job and we need to solve the hostility. He refused any sort of diplomatic approach and I waited another hour or so for an apology before I went to management. So far nothing has happened aside from our schedules being moved and the GM asking for a rundown of what happened. I am wondering what my next steps should be. I did not retaliate in any way and did not show any signs of aggression.
submitted by Senior-Supermarket61 to Career_Advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 06:00 Choice_Evidence1983 [New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes + her own page
Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4, BoRU #5, BoRU 6
Editor’s Note: removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older relevant comments, check out the previous BoRUs above
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment
RECAP
Original Post: November 14, 2023**
I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group.
Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility.
Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021.
Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”.
Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down.
Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season.
Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.  
Update #1: November 27, 2023
Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think?
It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses.
We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.  
Update #2: December 12, 2023
So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know?
Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that.
Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well.
And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties.
On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it.
Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.  
Inheritance: December 16, 2023
I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know?
No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active.
The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.  
Christmas: December 25, 2023
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect.
Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer.
Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls.
We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time.
As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.  
Brother’s call: December 26, 2023
Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning.
For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back.
Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth:
Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me.
The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people.
4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home.
8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there.
And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me".
But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral.
That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember?
I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed.
The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them.
My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it".
He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives.
On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.  
Brother's Here: December 27, 2023
My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped.
This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right.
Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!  
Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness!
Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely.
Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home.
Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space.  
Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024
My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys.
This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression.
Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly.
My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined.
Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone.  
Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024
Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care.
Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them.
We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office.
Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks!
OOP: He'll be able to, I just know it. He's used to dealing with the wildlife and having hawks about, but he just wasn't expecting one to snag a meal right from his new feeder.
I told him it was "technically" still a bird feeder. Just....for bigger birds. Which he thought was funny. He said he might make a little "no hawks allowed" sign to put up next to it.
MissOP: keep the updates coming. the moms are so close to folding it's just a little bit more. LMAO also, the bro mance between your husband and brother is so cute. lol Honestly, I think your husband making sure he has a side piece of Sebastian is absolutely the play.
OOP: So far still no word from the moms, but I hope you're right. I would love an apology and for us to begin moving past this. But I NEED that apology. I feel selfish saying that, but I refuse to "be the bigger person" on this. I just won't.
As for my brother and husband, yeah, they're basically soul mates. The two hit it off immediately when they first met, and they've been thick as thieves for years.  
Update: February 27, 2024
My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits.
Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it.
Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her.
There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet.
Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game!  
Update 4/1 - Final one I think - April 1, 2024
Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one.
It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal.
The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason.
The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area.
The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy.
And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing.
We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods.
As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for.
I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you.
Relevant Comments
emjkr: What a nice and hopeful update, I’m really glad you stuck to your guns when everyone threw sanity out the window!
But, could your mother explain how she thought this would work out in her favour?
OOP: I don't think mom thought too far ahead. I believe she assumed it would all just magically work out the way she wanted it to. She said she wasn't sure what she was expecting to happen (which I think was a lie, but I wasn't going to push it).
mak_zaddy: This was a great update! But ummmmmm no stardew valley update? What gives? Has Sebastian been woo’ed? How’s Leah? What’s happening?
OOP: Sebastian has indeed been wooed (and whoohooed) There's kids and cows and chickens. The two are still having a wonderful time at the game. They're working on completing the community center but it's slow going as they aren't trying to speedrun and just doing things as they want. I believe they're thinking about going into the desert mines once they complete that bundle, but they're both super chicken shit about it!
-my-cabbages: I don't really understand what you had to apologize for ... but I'm glad you're happy and the situation seems to be settling down
OOP: There wasn't much of an apology on my end, as everyone agreed I had done nothing wrong. Mine was more of a "I'm sorry you didn't feel as though I would listen." Type apology, which I don't really believe is a proper apology because apologies like that push the blame back on another. I mostly expressed my feelings and the shock of it all, and how betrayed I felt.  

----NEW UPDATE----

Small, happy update: May 7, 2024 (1 month later)
Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil.
Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now.
My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them.
No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks.
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

submitted by Choice_Evidence1983 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 05:55 ExcitingBelt A Writer's Guide to Dark Fantasy Themes and Imagery

Explore the depths of dark fantasy writing with our all-inclusive guide on enhancing your themes and drawing readers in with symbolism. Discover key strategies, delve into the background of dark fantasy literature, and let your imagination run wild with an enjoyable writing assignment. Regardless of your level of experience as a writer or your level of interest, this guide will assist you in creating dark fantasy stories that are memorable and impactful.
Writing in the dark fantasy genre is a journey into the depths of the human psyche, where symbolism and imagery rule supreme, and it goes beyond simple stories of magic and monsters. We'll look at how to use symbolism to enhance your themes, draw in readers, and craft worlds of dark fantasy that will stick with you in this extensive guide.

Understanding Symbolism in Dark Fantasy Writing

Let's examine the history and development of symbolism in dark fantasy literature before delving into its specific applications. Gothic literature is the source of dark fantasy literature; early works such as Bram Stoker's "Dracula" and Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein" established the themes of terror, mystery, and the paranormal. Dark fantasy has evolved over time as authors like H.P. Lovecraft, Anne Rice, and Clive Barker have explored themes of power, corruption, and the human psyche.

The Power of Symbolism in Dark Fantasy Writing

A powerful tool in the dark fantasy writer's toolbox, symbolism enables you to give your works a deeper resonance and meaning. You can add layers of intricacy and depth that captivate readers and hold their interest throughout by employing symbols and imagery to symbolise abstract ideas, feelings, and themes.

Essential Techniques for Using Symbolism in Dark Fantasy Writing

Let's now examine some crucial methods for enhancing themes in your dark fantasy writing with symbolism:
Pick Your Symbols Wisely: Whether it's a menacing raven perched atop a gravestone, a mysterious amulet with dark powers, or a sinister castle shrouded in mist, pick symbols that speak to your themes and characters.
Establish Symbolic Motifs: To reaffirm themes and provide a feeling of coherence and unity, incorporate reoccurring symbols and motifs into your narrative. Including symbolic elements in your story can enhance its depth and richness. Some examples of such elements are the moon, which denotes mystery and transformation, or a colour like red, which stands for blood and passion.
Employ Symbolic Imagery: To evoke mood and atmosphere, use rich descriptive language to paint vivid pictures with your words. Use imagery to draw readers into the dark fantasy world you've created, whether you're describing a haunted forest shrouded in shadows or a dilapidated mansion full of secrets.
Investigate Archetypes and Myths: Use mythological motifs and archetypal characters as inspiration to give your narrative enduring themes and universal lessons. Using these classic themes, such as the hero's journey, the underworld's descent, or the conflict between light and darkness, can give your dark fantasy story more depth and resonance.

Fun Writing Exercise: Unleash Your Imagination

Select a Theme: Choose a theme or idea that you wish to explore in your dark fantasy story to begin with. Select a theme that appeals to you and piques your interest, such as the nature of power, the duality of human nature, or the quest for salvation.
Determine Your Symbols: The next step is to make a list of images and symbols that are connected to the theme you have selected. These could be places with symbolic meaning, animals, colours, or even objects. For example, you could use symbols like a decaying city, a black rose, or a serpent if you're examining the theme of corruption.
Create Your Story: After deciding on a theme and symbols, begin creating your story by incorporating these components into it to give it depth and resonance. Employ evocative language to create a sense of atmosphere and mood, and allow your symbols to direct the course of your story and the character development.
After writing your story, consider how the symbolism you employed enriched your themes and make any necessary revisions. Seek chances to hone your imagery or add more nuance to your symbolism in order to produce a more compelling and meaningful reading experience. And don't be scared to edit and polish your narrative until the power of symbolism shines through!

Famous Writers and Works in Dark Fantasy Literature

Dark fantasy literature boasts a rich history and a wealth of influential writers and works. From classic tales of Gothic horror to modern masterpieces of dark fantasy, here are a few notable examples:
The Cthulhu Mythos of H.P. Lovecraft: Lovecraft is recognised as one of the pioneers of contemporary horror literature, and the dark fantasy subgenre has been greatly impacted by his Cthulhu Mythos. Lovecraft's stories, replete with cosmic horror.), ancient gods, and secret knowledge, tackle existential dread and humanity's smallness in the face of cosmic forces that are beyond our comprehension.
Neil Gaiman's "The Sandman": This graphic novel series is a masterwork of dark fantasy that masterfully combines dream sequences, mythology, and folklore. With its sophisticated storyline, nuanced characters, and rich, vivid imagery, "The Sandman" has won both praise from critics and a devoted readership, solidifying Gaiman's place as one of the leading authors of contemporary dark fantasy literature.
George R.R. Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire": George R.R. Martin's epic fantasy series "A Song of Ice and Fire" is a sprawling saga of political intrigue, war, and magic set in the fictional continent of Westeros. With its morally ambiguous characters, intricate plot twists, and gritty, realistic world-building, "A Song of Ice and Fire" has redefined the boundaries of the dark fantasy genre and inspired a cultural phenomenon with its adaptation into the hit HBO series "Game of Thrones".

Embrace the Power of Symbolism

To sum up, symbolism is a powerful tool that can enhance your themes, draw readers in, and help you write darker fantasy fiction to new heights. You can write dark fantasy stories that stick in the reader's mind long after the last page is turned by carefully selecting your symbols, coming up with symbolic motifs, employing vivid imagery, and taking inspiration from myths and archetypes.
So embrace the power of symbolism, let your imagination run wild, and set out on an amazing adventure into the shadowy depths of fantasy literature. Your readers are just waiting to be enthralled with the wonders of your writing!

Elevating Your Writing Experience

With pen and paper in hand, set off on your dark adventure, reflect on the deep experience that the GC Luxury Quill Set provides. Each stroke of the quill seems like a fall into the depths of darkness, capturing the essence of your darkest fantasies with unmatched precision thanks to its superb craftsmanship and timeless elegance.
The GC Luxury Quill Set transforms writing into an art form, drawing you into the intricate web of your own invention whether you're creating suspenseful dialogue or narrative twists. It becomes an extension of your will, channelling the raw emotion and atmosphere necessary to creating a genuinely unforgettable dark fantasy tale thanks to its ergonomic form and fluid ink flow.

My Own Dark Fantasy Realm

Hi there, fellow fans of dark fantasy! Thanks to your unflinching support, our blog—which is packed with tales and inspirations of dark fantasy—is making waves on TikTok, Pinterest, and YouTube. Even more thrilling is the fact that we're creating a captivating Trading Card Game to further engross you in Twilight Citadel's eerie mysteries. Explore the depths of the shadows with our website, where you can get eerie yet lovely phone wallpapers and posters. Furthermore, we've got you covered with free resources like desktop wallpapers and profile pictures to make sure your gadgets are brimming with eerie fantasy atmosphere. Come along with us on this surreal adventure, where fears come true and shadows dance. Are you prepared to welcome the gloom?
submitted by ExcitingBelt to talesofgwyn [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 05:44 courtingdisaster Presenting the evidence: 17 May 2024

Presenting the evidence: 17 May 2024
Come one, come all, we're clooowning again! 🤡
Thanks to u/1DMod for posting the Jimmy Fallon video that led to me to start to connect the dots that other creators have noticed. Long story short, we're clowning for Stockholm N1 (maybe even night ✌️ as well), buckle up clowns!

✌️

First things first, May 17 is ✌️ fortnights after the release of TTPD on April 19. We know that Taylor is still throwing up peace signs which seems unnecessary if it only ever meant that there was a second part of TTPD. I think it's an indication that we haven't completely cracked that egg yet.
This photo was necessary for the post, ok

National/International Day Of

While these days aren't necessarily solid proof of anything, Taylor did release TTPD on Poetry & The Creative Mind Day and also released the ME! music video (ME! Out now!) on Lesbian Visibility Day so I think it's definitely worth investigating.
Let's have a look at the holidays for May 17 that could be relevant:
  • Endangered Species Day - anyone remember the ✌️ trips to the zoo while in Sydney...? We also have the big cat imagery on her new 1989 outfit to consider. If you haven't read this incredible post by u/Funny-Barnacle1291, I'd urge you to stop clowning with me (just for a moment) and go and read it. Taylor's TikTok bio still reads, "this is pretty much just a cat account" which could be a surface level meaning of her posting videos of her cats, but we know miss Feline Enthusiast herself loves a layered meaning. She also compared herself to feeling, "a lot like being a tiger in a wildlife enclosure" in the Lover diaries she released (pictured below).
TNT at Sydney Zoo Paris N4 TikTok bio Lover diaries comparing herself to a tiger Sydney Zoo
  • National Pizza Party Day - I know I am personally still haunted by her Stephen Colbert interview on 13 April 2021. The interview starts with Colbert talking about Taylor's Versions and also talking about how he believes the song "Hey Stephen" is about him. What surprise song did we get on guitar Paris N3..? Important to note that this interview also talks about him "waiting tables on the lunch shift at Scoozi, an Italian restaurant in the River North area of Chicago, that, by the way, serves a really incredible slice of pizza." Taylor also goes on to say that the song is actually about Stephen King and Taylor then says "The Dark Tower series changed my life, plus The Shining, The Stand and don't even get me started on his short stories... Absolutely luminescent." This interview is obviously very strange and likely filled with easter eggs. We know that her mention of the River North area of Chicago was also the location of one of the TTPD murals that went up ahead of release.
No... This is pizza
ME! Out soon 😉
  • National Graduation Tassel Day - Taylor was awarded with an honorary doctorate at NYU in 2022. We know that her speech at this event was filled with “Midnights” easter eggs including lyrics to “Labyrinth” and “You're On Your Own, Kid”. I wonder what other easter eggs are hidden in this speech...? Here's a link to the video and you can also read the full transcript here. I'm not going to do any further digging into this one right now, just presenting it as evidence but please feel free to note anything of importance in the comments.
Dr Taylor Alison Swift
These chemicals hit me like whiiiiite wiiiiine

Direct 17/5 easter eggs

  • Tokyo N3 - One of the surprise songs during Tokyo N3 was "The Outside". This excellent video by Kristen (underthepink7 - go follow her, she's amazing) goes into some additional easter eggs that I'm not going to go into here but definitely worth a watch (which also connects to "Down Bad"). What I do want to talk about though is what Taylor said when she introduced the song. Here's a video of the performance including her speech beforehand where she says, "this song is 175 years old." At the time most people thought that it was an egg for number of days leading us to 2 August 2024. It could still be referring to this however I'm starting to believe it's related to the date.
  • Date format - Before we go any further, it's important to note that the date format in Europe (where the Eras Tour currently is) goes DD/MM/YY. This is why I think the 175 could be a date as that equates to May 17 in Europe.
  • Tokyo N4 - On 10 February 2024, the surprise songs in Tokyo were "Come In With The Rain" (track 17) and "You're On Your Own, Kid" (track 5), another 175 and in this case it's specifically 17/5.
  • Anti Hero music video - There's been some really interesting analysis that I've seen on Twitter where the timestamps in Taylor's recent music videos appear to be lining up with the date of things happening in real life. Underthepink7 and Kiturakk on Twitter have pointed out some interesting connections to the numbers 175 in the Anti Hero, Bejeweled and Willow music videos. I'll admit this could be considered a bit of a stretch but what if I told you none of it was accidental...
Is Taylor using timestamps in her self-directed music videos to refer to dates in real life?

Important days in history

These could be nothing, could be something, still worth noting.
Important events in history that may be important to Taylor

Important events in Taylor's history on this day

  • "Bad Blood" music video premiered at the Billboard Awards
  • Entertainment Weekly where Taylor is on the cover with a rainbow pin and gravestone that says "I tried" is published
  • City of Lover concert (i.e. Taylor's Lover concert performed in Paris) airs on ABC for the first time
I think we're about to recreate her sparkling summer

Stockholm

  • 88th show - Taylor made a point to let everyone know that Paris N4 was the 87th show of the tour. Yes 87 is Travis' number but what if it was also to let everyone know that Stockholm will feature both her 88th and 89th shows? Obviously 89 is an important number to her however last year we saw Taylor embracing double dates (5/5 Speak Now TV announcement, 7/7 Speak Now TV release - there's probably others, that's all I remember off the top of my head) so I don't think it's a stretch to say that the 88th show would hold significance to her. I saw this thread on Twitter yesterday regarding "portal dates" and while obviously this is referring to dates, I can see "portal shows" being potentially noteworthy. Following on from this, Kristen has highlighted some Taylor Nation tweets that include the words "17" or "May" with one of those tweets being posted on 8/8 (while quoting "Betty" of all songs...) which Kristen notes is the karmic number representing resurrection and regeneration (tweets pictured below).
Deep portal, time travel
Is Karma boutta pop-up unannounced...?
  • Beyoncé - The Renaissance World Tour kicked off on 10 May 2023 in Stockholm at the very same stadium that Taylor is performing in next weekend. To me it would make sense to start a tour named Renaissance in Italy, where the Renaissance originated not in Sweden... We've seen Taylor and Beyoncé supporting each other a lot in the last year and Beyoncé's producer recently said, "let's just say she's on the approach of shocking the world." We know she's on her own three-act journey at the moment (complete with queer-flagging in her shows and her own Biyoncé rumours) so I don't think this quote is directly related to Cowboy Carter but potentially regarding the culmination of her arc. Is it possible that her arc lines up with Taylor's creating a supernova that will change the industry forever?
Taylor & Bey supporting each other at their respective film premieres, a literal pride flag on the Renaissance Tour (it's actually just Chiefs colours, phew!)
  • Taylor recorded songs in Stockholm - Kristen notes that many of Taylor's important singles were recorded in Stockholm including "I Knew You Were Trouble", "Shake It Off", "Blank Space", "Bad Blood", "Ready For It" and "New Romantics". Perhaps this city holds a special place in her heart?
  • One Direction - paging u/1DMod to go into more detail here however noting that One Direction has a song called "Stockholm Syndrome" and the lyrics are very interesting indeed ("I used the light to guide me home"). Checkout this recent post by u/1DMod regarding the possible Larry connections to TTPD.
  • Friends Arena - The stadium in Stockholm is called the Friends Arena. Taylor had a Friends pin on her jacket on the Entertainment Weekly cover. Was this stadium always supposed to play an important role? Kristen also notes that the opening ceremony took place on 27 October 2012 (obviously 27 October is the day that 1989 was released, both times) and

New Romantics

Kristen, who I have referenced in nearly every part in this post (again, she's amazing, go follow her), has a mass coming-out theory that she has dubbed the New Romantics. I highly recommend checking out her content on Twitter and TikTok and she's also recently launched a podcast that you can read more about here for a lottttttt more information on this theory. Essentially the theory is that a large number of artists in the entertainment industry are queer and are working together as a "safety in numbers" type approach to coming out of the closet and potentially changing the industry in a monumental way.
Let's have a look at some players that are relevant to either 17 May or Stockholm (or both in one person's case!):
  • Zayn - This is the person who is relevant to both 17 May and Stockholm! Obviously he was part of One Direction who I spoke about above as having a song titled "Stockholm Syndrome". Did you know his new album "The Closet" "The Room Under The Stairs" is being released this Friday, May 17? Again, I'll leave this to u/1DMod any additional relevant information as this is not my area of expertise but from what I understand, all members have their own queer rumours.
  • Billie Eilish - Recently out as a girl kisser, Billie Eilish is also releasing an album on this day titled "Hit Me Hard and Soft" featuring a song called "Lunch" that would leave even the most homophobic Swiftie unable to defend her queerness if released by Taylor.
  • Madison Beer - Madison is out as bi. Her tour, The Spinnin Tour, began 24 February 2024 in Stockholm (a different venue though).

Theories as to what exactly is coming

  • TTPD: Part 3 - I recently made a post presenting the evidence on a potential third part to TTPD. In this post the majority of the evidence was just related to the "3s" that have been prevalent lately however there were also some "5s" which led us to believe something was happening 5/3. I've since had a couple of thoughts that maybe the "3/5" is related to her 35th birthday this year. I strongly believe she'll be out by her birthday at the latest if not ON her birthday, but I digress.
  • Karma - After the fiery (Chiefs) colours we saw displayed in Paris, I'm not sure how you could be a Karma-denier at this point to be honest! If you haven't already, check out this amazing post from yesterday by (Dr Bryanlicious2 homewrecker) u/clydelogan. Their post discuses the numerology surrounding the number 8 that I referred to earlier however could this all be pointing us to the 88th show instead of a particular date...? Also if you are somehow still a Karma-denier, I recommend reading this collobarative post that is constantly being added to if you don't know what Karma is.
Karma is REAL
  • Coming Out - I personally don't believe she would come out during a show in Stockholm, however it's worth at least noting as a possibility. It would mean that she was "out" before Pride Month 😉 She did just sing "Begin Again" as a surprise song in Paris N4 - is she beginning again as her authentic self at the very next show?
  • Book - The creator of the video that u/1DMod initially posted believes that Taylor is announcing a book on 17 May 2024 with it to be released on 21 October 2024. I'm not going to go into this theory in detail however if you are interested in finding out more about what they have to say, here are a couple of videos of theirs (video 1, video 2, video 3).
Is this another easter egg that she laid 3 years ago?

In Summation

Something is happening in Stockholm.
I don't know what exactly but it is THE ONE to watch. I'll be there talking smack in the megathread and keeping an eye out for any new Chiefs colours.
See you there, clowns! Who's clowning with me?! 🤡🤡🤡
submitted by courtingdisaster to GaylorSwift [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 05:42 Both_Conversation965 What should I (23M) do if the guy I've been seeing (24M) is great except he has commitment issues?

For context, I met him almost three months ago right after I had ended another situationship where the other guy wasn't open to commitment, so I specifically asked this new guy at the start whether he would be open to long-term, which he said yes. He told me that he needs at least two months before he can make a decision about being in a relationship with someone, which seemed reasonable to me.
These past few months with him have been amazing: he's introduced me to a bunch of his friends, we've been hanging out all the time, and we call each other regularly talking about our days. He's always been very comfortable with PDA, like holding hands and kissing, which I thought was a good sign that he would be open to something more meaningful.
Because I thought he was looking for more, I've introduced him to some of my family and even made plans to bring him to my graduation dinner this week where he'd meet everyone else too. I'd mentioned to him a few times this past month that I would be open to talking about becoming exclusive, and the first time we talked he said there was a lot up in the air that we needed to figure out (I was still looking for a job and place to stay while he was getting ready for the LSAT). I eventually found a job and a place to live, so I felt like things were looking great.
Two nights ago, I went over to his place with plans to eventually go out to a club, but I was feeling nervous about bringing up the commitment discussion and decided to stay in with him to talk. I told him how I felt and that I wanted to be his boyfriend, and he essentially told me that he thinks I'm a fantastic guy and he likes being a part of my life but that he feels jaded when he gets into relationships. The way he explained it is that he has endless love to give to his friends, but he treats his relationships differently. I don't think he really knows why he does it, he just mentioned that he hasn't had the best role models when it comes to healthy relationships.
I feel pretty devastated about the whole situation since I let my feelings develop naturally since I thought we were headed towards something serious, so I actually realized after our conversation that I love him and have been making plans in my mind about the fun dates we could have and the life we could build together. He makes me feel so safe and confident, and he's told me that I make him really relaxed and happy, so I don't know what to think. I feel like we would be fantastic for each other, and yet I don't think he's able to take that next step.
For me it feels like we're already practically in the relationship phase: we both don't hookup with other people, we go on cute dates and hang out with each other a lot, and we support each other in big life events and challenges. He's met my family, I've met a lot of people in his life, it just feels like I've been led on at this point. I told him this morning that maybe we should take a pause for a few weeks, which would mean he wouldn't come to my graduation this week, but I already miss him so much since I've realized he's a huge part of my support network. Before this he would've been the one I'd talk to about something like this, and now I'm wondering if I should let myself have one last week with him where we could hang out and he could come to my graduation before going on a break.
He's a great guy and I do really want to be friends with him, so I'm just trying to find a way to do that without ending up getting more hurt than I already am. Any advice is super appreciated, thanks guys.
submitted by Both_Conversation965 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 05:34 MoreIsDifferent13 My [32M] girlfriend [30F] of 4 years does not want to progress our relationship any further. Looking for advice on how to approach any follow on conversations

Hello,
I have been dating my girlfriend for about 4 years. have been living together for 2 years but our timeline was accelerated because we met early during COVID. I think we have a very good relationship in that we share similar values, can be silly around each other, and have a lot of shared interests. Earlier on I felt very intense sparks but those have subsided in favor of a less intense form of love. My girlfriend can be very anxious and needs a lot of listening / patience which I am happy to do. From the outset, she is very fun and outgoing but doesn't have that many deep relationships. I don't think many people know how anxious she can be.
About 2 years ago, I had two family members die due to COVID 19. My partner accompanied me to the funeral which I really appreciated. Unfortunately, none of my extended family came to talk to her or introduce themselves. There was a lot of tension at this event and it did not go how I thought it would at all. Since then, I have felt pretty depressed and have been facing a lot of work stress / anxiety. I am always afraid of getting laid off or fired, due to this happening to my parents several times, that I struggle to take it easy. Despite all this, we have traveled to 10 states, 15 weddings, and a foreign country and had a great time.
Now that I have gotten my weaknesses out of the way, I am at the point in life where I want to take the next step and start talking about marriage. I brought this up with my partner and they were....very hesitant. They said they fell very anxious about committing to next steps because I have been so stressed and unfun to be around. We didn't talk about breaking up but I am struggling on how to move past this. On the one hand, I understand that I have not been mentally well but on the other I feel the patience I have with her is not reciprocated. I feel like a placeholder in some sense.
What is the best way for me to approach this topic?
tldr, Talked to my girlfriend of 4 years about getting married. She feels too anxious to commit. Wondering how to talk and proceed?
submitted by MoreIsDifferent13 to relationships [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 05:32 MoreIsDifferent13 My [32M] girlfriend [30F] was not enthused when I talked about taking our relationship to the next level. Wondering about the best way to approach a follow on conversation and evaluate my options?

Hello,
I have been dating my girlfriend for about 4 years. have been living together for 2 years but our timeline was accelerated because we met early during COVID. I think we have a very good relationship in that we share similar values, can be silly around each other, and have a lot of shared interests. Earlier on I felt very intense sparks but those have subsided in favor of a less intense form of love. My girlfriend can be very anxious and needs a lot of listening / patience which I am happy to do. From the outset, she is very fun and outgoing but doesn't have that many deep relationships. I don't think many people know how anxious she can be.
About 2 years ago, I had two family members die due to COVID 19. My partner accompanied me to the funeral which I really appreciated. Unfortunately, none of my extended family came to talk to her or introduce themselves. There was a lot of tension at this event and it did not go how I thought it would at all. Since then, I have felt pretty depressed and have been facing a lot of work stress / anxiety. I am always afraid of getting laid off or fired, due to this happening to my parents several times, that I struggle to take it easy. Despite all this, we have traveled to 10 states, 15 weddings, and a foreign country and had a great time.
Now that I have gotten my weaknesses out of the way, I am at the point in life where I want to take the next step and start talking about marriage. I brought this up with my partner and they were....very hesitant. They said they fell very anxious about committing to next steps because I have been so stressed and unfun to be around. We didn't talk about breaking up but I am struggling on how to move past this. On the one hand, I understand that I have not been mentally well but on the other I feel the patience I have with her is not reciprocated. I feel like a placeholder in some sense.
What is the best way for me to approach this topic?
tldr, Talked to my girlfriend of 4 years about getting married. She feels too anxious to commit. Wondering how to talk and proceed?
submitted by MoreIsDifferent13 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 05:08 lildaemon [D] Full causal self-attention layer in O(NlogN) computation steps and O(logN) time rather than O(N^2) computation steps and O(1) time, with a big caveat, but hope for the future.

*Update*: Actually O(N) computation steps(not O(Nlog N)) and O(log N) time.
I think I figured out how to do self-attention in transformer models in O(NlogN) computation steps rather than O(N^2), with a caveat. I'm not trying to be an academic, so I don't care to publish this formally, but I thought that some people might be interested. My construction is not efficient or practical, but the fact that it can be done at all might motivate further work to find efficient alternatives.
tl;dr Use the parallel scan[1] technique to compute taylor series basis functions needed to compute the causal self-attention layer and sum these together weighted by the values vector and 1 to get the numerator and denominator of the softmax activation of the full causal self-attention layer. The basis functions that you have to compute are both the basis functions for the numerator of the self-attention layer, $\sum_{i=0}^{j-1} k(i)_a^n q(j)_b^m v(i)$ and the normalization $\sum_{i=0}^{j-1} k(i)_a^n q(j)_b^m$. k(i)_a^n is component-a of the ith key vector raised to the power of n multiplied by q(j)_b^m which is component-b of the jth query vector raised to the power of m, which is multiplied by the value vector at position i in the first equation and by 1 in the second, and all summed together. Once you can do this, you've computed a basis function for a Taylor series. Multiply each basis function by a coefficient and sum them together to create an arbitrary function of k(i) and q(j). Using this technique, we can compute the Taylor series approximation for the numerator and the denominator of the softmax activation each taking logN * {number of coefficients} parallel steps, or O(N) sequential steps by treating the accumulation as a type of RNN.

Background

I was inspired to think about this because I was implementing MAMBA[2] and trying to understand what kind of non-linearities can be created using the parallel scan technique. The parallel scan technique is a way of parallelizing recursive formulas. If you don't know what parallel scan is, let me demonstrate with an example. The simplest example of the parallel scan technique is computing all partial sums of a sequence of numbers in log(N) time. Imagine you have a sequence [a_1, a_2, a_3, a_4, ...]. You can compute all partial sums by first adding a_i to a_{i -1}, where a_{-1} is zero, and generally a_{-n} is defined to be zero. Then take the result, call it r = [a_1, a_1+a_2, a_2 + a_3, ...], and compute r_i + r_{i-2}, which gives [a_1, a_1+a_2, a_1+a_2+a_3, ...]. The first 4 partial sums are already complete. The next step would be r_i + r_{i-2**2}, and the next step, just increase the power of 2 until i-2**power is negative for every i in the sequence. It basically sums groups, and then sums those groups together, and so on and so forth until the partial sum at each position is calculated. The scan technique is a way to parallelize an RNN. Essentially, you remove some nonlinearities in the RNN so that recurrence equation becomes associative. Once it is associative, you can compute the hidden state at each position of the sequence in log N parallel steps, where each parallel step has O(N) parallel computations.

The Meat of It

In the background section, I explained how to compute a partial sum in O(log(N)) time and O(NlogN) computation steps (or O(N) time and O(N) computation steps by using RNNs) using the parallel scan technique. I'll use this now to construct the Taylor series for causal self-attention layer used in transformer models.
Let's assume we have a tensor x of shape (sequence_length, embedding_dim), and we can compute the query, key and value tensors from x using q=Qx, k=Kx and v=Vx, where Q, K and V are matrices. Compute y = (k[:,i]**n)*v. Now use the parallel scan technique to accumulate the partial sums of every vector in y, which will give ParallelPartialSum(y)=[y[0,:], y[0,:]+y[1,:], ...]. Now multiply the result by q[:,j]**m, and now we have a basis function for a Taylor series expansion. The full formula is q[:,j]**m * ParallelPartialSum((k[:,i]**n)*v). Next, we can add up these functions for different powers of n and m using coefficients to approximate any function. The final equation is \sum_{n, m} A_{n, m} q[:,j]**m * ParallelPartialSum((k[:,i]**n)*v).
What is left is to find the Taylor series coefficients A_{n, m} and to calculate the normalization for the softmax. I'm not actually going to give an equation for A_{n, m}, but I will show that it can be done. First, I'm just going to write $q \cdot k$ in place of $q[:,j,:] \cdot k[:,i,:]$ to make it easier to write and read. We want the Taylor series of $exp(q \cdot k) = 1 + (q \cdot k) + (q \cdot k)**2 / 2! + ... + (q \cdot k)**n / n! + ...$. To find the Taylor series coefficient for every component of q and component of k and every power of each, you'd have to expand out (q \cdot k)**n /n! for every n. It can be done but I'm not going to do it. Just assume that A_{n, m} is equal to these coefficients, and voila, we have the numerator of the softmax equation for self-attention. We still need the denominator. To compute the denominator of the softmax over attention scores, you compute the same sum replacing the value tensor with the number 1. $\sum_{n, m} A_{n, m} x[:,j]**m * ParallelPartialSum((x[:,i]**n))$, where again the value vector at the end of the equation is removed. The final equation for the causal self-attention layer is:
$$ (\sum_{n, m} A_{n, m} q[:,j]**m * ParallelPartialSum((k[:,i]**n)*v)) / (\sum_{n, m} A_{n, m} q[:,j]**m * ParallelPartialSum((k[:,i]**n))) $$
Where again, A_{n, m} are the Taylor series coefficients for exp( q \cdot k).

Take-Aways

One big take away from this work, is that since causal self-attention can be calculated using the parallel scan technique, and since a parallel scan can be computed with an RNN, it follows that full causal self-attention can be computed with RNNs. The caveat is that you need many RNNs, one for each Taylor series basis function, so to get a good enough approximation of the softmax activation, you'd probably need a lot of coefficients, more than would be practical. On the other hand, what if there is a related activation that does the job of the softmax, but can be constructed with far fewer parallel scans? Then full causal self-attention could be done using only a few RNNs. Also, there are other basis functions that can be computed with one parallel scan, for instance, basis functions for a Fourier series can be computed with one parallel scan.
Non-linear activations are necessary for neural networks to work well. Linear RNNs can be parallelized using parallel scans, and since it is a linear function, one might think that this technique is not as powerful as other neural network layers. One shouldn't make the mistake to think that only linear RNN can be parallelized with linear scans. Non-linear RNNs can also be parallelized so long as the recursive update rule is associative. One might think that this restriction somehow makes the model weaker, I did, at first. But if associative recursion formulas are enough to create transformers(albeit inefficiently), then it stands to reason that they can do anything a transformer can, which is a lot. The only question is whether it's possible to come up with an efficient activation. Maybe MAMBA already did, maybe there is something better.
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prefix_sum
[2] https://arxiv.org/abs/2312.00752

Update

Actually there is a better algorithm for the parallel scan given in the wiki link above[1]. That means that causal self-attention can be calculated with O(log N) time and O(N) steps instead of O(NlogN) steps.
submitted by lildaemon to MachineLearning [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 05:06 No-Two-4678 Is this the forbidden friend zone?

So context - I am talking with a co-worker who we have been friends for nearly 2 years and we just click, we share almost everything and common and we always get on well and even other ppl at work said they seen it coming.. another back note is that they have just left a 3 year long distance relationship in which their partner was not a good person to them at all, it has been roughly a month since they broke up..
So it all started with us going together to one of their friends 21st bday party and this was my first time drinking alcohol so i kept it easy and had enough to enjoy the night but not enough to where i couldn't function etc however my co-worker had one too many and some of the stuff they did triggered my feelings.. as they were holding my hand, stroking it, begging me not to go home when they got in taxi (i just walked home as i felt like that was just the alcohol speaking) so i got home and just sat in my chair and just thought about it all and how WHAT IF you know so over the next few days i try and get some clarity to my thoughts and get some advice from other work staff and just under a week later when me and said co-worker finished our shift together (i walk them home) i told them how i felt and that i liked them etc to which i got told they would message me once they got home and showered.. so about half an hour or so passes and i receive the message, they said the feeling was mutual and that they even had a crush on me and this was even whilst they were with their ex which i was abit baffled on anyways we both talk more into the night happy days and then days pass of endless talking etc and about a week later i crashed at their place which was agreed too as we were gonna spend the day together, we chilled and watched stuff, played some games and went out into town and then on the night we just cuddled and nothing more as i wasn't sure what they were comfortable with yet.. i ended up going home later that day as they had said their social battery had died which i understood and told them it was ok and i went home (ofc i was sad there was little i could do).. again days pass and we are both ok talking away and then one day we were talking well and later on in the evening they went out with their friend to which it went abit downhill as that is when i got this
(my name) would you be mad if I said I wasn’t ready for a relationship yet cause honestly im really struggling with things like I know im not ready and I won’t be able to give you what you deserve in a relationship because I know im just not ready to jump into another one yet but I don’t wanna lose you I really love hanging out with you and sharing our interests together it’s been so fun 🙁 but at this point im just not ready cause even things like physical affection is freaking me out i can’t handle being this close to another person right now and I don’t wanna be leading you on further only to randomly back away out of fear im just really not ready for this right now
And pls don’t worry you did nothing at all to make me uncomfortable the other day but I know I need more time before im ready for something like this cause im still kind of a mess and not mentally ready yet

"i need space" message to which again i was accepting and understood as alot has happened in such short time, i sent words of encouragement etc and they followed up with this which is the message that makes me feel like i'm not going to make it

Thank you for all of that I promise you didn’t step over the line with anything at all i just realised that i really do need space right now and I know I can’t handle a relationship I can’t promise if or when I’ll be ready for a relationship anytime soon either, thank you for understanding !!

so right now i only share my shift today with them for 30 minutes other than that all of our shifts are different to each other that i won't see them for the rest of this week and i am on holiday next as it is my bday week so i have sent my last message and i said i won't message them anymore as it will clog their thoughts but i am always there if needed as i really don't want to lose them and they have said the same thing to me in that they don't want to lose me and that i make them so happy yada yada.. was this the right thing to do or not? so i'm essentially giving them 2 whole weeks to think about it all and if they don't come back to me by the end of that time even if it's just confirming we'd be no more than friends i will move on with life but i really have that feeling it will all work out over time, they are me as the opposite sex and i just love having someone i can share everything i love with someone.
Another note is that i have always played off of them in this and never forced them to do anything at all.. and one of the things that is confusing me about it all is that they have booked my bday off work as they wanted to spend time with me and they have also bought me gifts for my bday which i did tell them not too and that they alone were the best gift so i'm hoping after some time they figure out their needs?
my question is do you think i am never gonna have a chance or is there hope in all of this?
submitted by No-Two-4678 to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 04:56 Aninx Ways to Permanently End the Curse of Strahd

My apologies in advance for the rambling, brainstorming nature of this post.
I'm considering running Curse of Strahd(I say considering since it will be a bit before either of the current campaigns I'm running will end and I don't have time to DM three games at once) and I've been thinking about the ending. So RAW, if Strahd is permanently killed, he will still eventually come back. I'm fine with this and like it actually, and it gave a fun bittersweetness to the ending when I played in it!
That being said, when I write scenarios I typically like to give my players a way to get a better ending that circumstances usually would allow, but make it extremely difficult to do so in order to make it a choice between pragmatism and hope. I enjoy endings that aren't wholly "you perfectly solved everything forever!" but I'd almost like to throw in a way for the party to potentially end the Curse, but make it difficult enough it makes sense no one else ever found it. Essentially it'd need to be either doing something that most people could never do or would never think to do, like take a leap of faith and do something stupidly dangerous out of a desperate hope this could make things better to even find out how to go about it.
As I said, I'm fine with the ending as in, I'm just wondering about just putting that option out there and if my players don't find it then that's fine but if they do stumble on it they can get the choice of the "safer" but still dangerous option of killing Strahd or the unbelievably dangerous leap of faith that could end with a probable TPK to try and end this domain of dread forever. I'm both deciding 1) is this a good idea and 2) how exactly would they end the Curse forever that would both be something no one else who's tried has ever found or tried before and difficult enough to make sense that Strahd's never done it?
(On another note, another addition I'm considering but not decided on yet is making PCs(only with players' permission to add a secret connection to Barovia to their characters, of course) reincarnations of people from Strahd's human life(i.e. Alek, Leo, etc.) and if I do that, I could link this Curse-breaking path to that in some way?)
submitted by Aninx to CurseofStrahd [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 04:48 CorrectWasabi647 The reason why singapore is so boring

Most of our major festivals are watered down and muted... take CNY for example even Malaysia a chinese minority nation they can play fire crackers! Thailand you have the water festival where people spray water like fun loving kids!
Most singapreans are workaholics, one dimensional characters who only think which person they want to pawn next!
And when they grow old they will loiter in hdb void decks like zombies waiting for the end!
No amount of modern impressive infrastrutures is going to solve this problem.... its a cultural issue!
submitted by CorrectWasabi647 to SingaporeRaw [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 04:30 Different_Age432 Would I be the asshole if I didn’t allow my future MIL get ready with us in the bridal suite?

throwaway account because she’s crazy I (26F) and my fiancé (27M) are getting married in under a month. To say our wedding planning has been less than ideal is quite the understatement. My soon to be MIL, let’s call her Barbra, has made the last year of my life a living hell. My fiancé, Derek, and I have been together for 3 years, engaged for just over one year. When Derek and I first started dating I had an incredible relationship with Barbra. We would hang out, run errands, have sleepovers.. we had a relationship most girls dream of having with their future MIL. That all changed when this pretty little ring slipped on my finger…
For some context, Barbra has an extremely volatile relationship with her ex husband (Derek’s dad) and his wife (Derek’s step mom). Their history stems back 20+ years and has been an ever present issue in Derek’s every day life. Barbra made it her mission for Derek to despise his father and step mother the way she did, totally unnecessary behavior.
Fast forward to this past year. Take a narcissistic future MIL and a people pleasing bride, then add a wedding and this is where you end up.
Around 8 months ago, my fiancé and I decided we wanted to have a backyard rehearsal dinner with food trucks, a bonfire, games- totally our style. We figured we didn’t need to big fancy dinners back to back. Derek’s dad’s house is a no-brainer perfect spot for something like this. Far back off of any road, tons of land, a pool. Not to mention; it’s his DAD’s house. Well when I brought this idea up to Barbra (we were 2.5 hours out of town for the weekend just me and her) she LOST. HER. SHIT. Screaming, crying, stomping her feet… It was like trying to communicate with a toddler who missed their nap. All because it was going to be at Derek’s dad’s house. Basically “everyone is going to think -stepmom- is the mother of the groom instead of me!” on and on, screaming history over 20 years old at me as a justification. I was extremely uncomfortable to say the least, considering I’d never seen this behavior from her. I cried myself to sleep every night that weekend, I felt pathetic and defeated. It went on like that all weekend little digs here and there. by the time I finally got home I broke down crying over how I was spoken to and treated. I mean the woman screamed in my face, as if I was her six-year-old child.
Between then and this past weekend, there has been little digs, constant attitude, and random spiteful acts that let met know she never let go of that weekend because I came home and told Derek, who in turn flipped out on her.
this past weekend was my bridal shower. I grew up about six hours away from where I currently live, which is Derek‘s hometown. Everyone including Barbara and Derek stepmom traveled to be at the shower. I knew it wouldn’t be good when I invited. Barbara and her response was “well I guess if stepmother is going I have to go don’t I?”
Not not only did she begin moving place settings away from stepmother’s table to the point where stepmother was left alone at a table, she told my maid of honor that the only reason my MOH felt the need to sit at my table was “to be the center of attention.” Completely disregarding that I specifically asked to sit with her and the rest of my bridesmaids, considering I don’t live near any of them anymore, and we never get to see each other. Then she tried to kick my aunt and cousin out of her table because it was “the mom table “, only stopped when my mom told her she was staying. She rolled her eyes at my gifts I opened from derek’s step mom. She was also dissing derek’s step mom to every person she spoke to, to the point where 10+ people came to me after the shower telling me how uncomfortable she made them. Derek’s step mom is the sweetest woman ever and she left the shower crying.
There were several other behaviors, but this post would be far too long (it already is). When Derek got home and called her out, she absolutely lost it. Now she is blowing up our phones, saying she is ashamed of Derek and I, and told Derek to “have fun with his new family.” So many nasty remarks a mother should never say to their son. She did her usual playing the victim, “how dare we”, and blaming her behavior on every other person. Zero accountability.
at this point, she has ruined every single event relating to my wedding that I’ve had. She hosted my bachelorette (ruined it by being mean to all of my friends, throwing a gift derek’s step mom made for her across the room in front of everyone while cursing about how stupid and ugly it was) , she came with me to pick up my wedding dress (insisted on getting the one she loved that i hated, told me she didn’t care for the one i got), and she shits all over any idea I present to her. Every time I call my parents. I’m crying over something new that she said to intentionally hurt me or disrupt our planning.
Would I be the asshole if I didn’t allow her to get ready on the bridal suite on the day of? I’m honestly scared for how she act in there now that she thinks “everyone is against her. “ I would prefer for her to not even come to the wedding at all but I’ll let Derek make that call.
Edit: I want to say that Derek has defended me in a way that has made me fall even more in love with him. He’s been stern and harsh, telling her exactly how it is without faltering. The issue is this goes right over her head. I’m feeling like this will only stop if it comes from me.
submitted by Different_Age432 to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 04:20 Temporary_Target2617 This year’s rotation+reviews.

Younger hooper here, i am 175cm, 47 kg, im pretty fast and explosive with a 37 inch vert but very injury prone. I play the 1-2 position, mostly use change of pace, using a crossover or a pushcross to explode pass the defender and/or pull up into the midrange jumper.
I use my own insole(pic 3 n 4), something I recommend everyone to do, and recently got a full length carbon fiber insole.
What i want in a shoe that is low to the ground, has stability, is snug, wont slip out, good cushioning, and comfortable.
My favourite shoes all time are spo1+, kyrie 7, freak4 and kyrie infinity.
Poron Insole review: (US9.5) TTS Usage: 100+ hours (casually and on court) Tech: Poron on forefoot and heel, gel from heel to midfoot. Performance: Insole fits in all my shoes, provides better step in comfort, no arch support. The insole itself has good impact protection, but putting it in the shoe itself is hard because of the gel sticking to the inside of the shoe. Will try same shoe but with tpu plastic from heel to midfoot.
Result: A-
Carbon fiber insoles review:(US9.5) TTS Usage: 5 hours+ (casually) Tech: full length carbon fiber from heel to toe, poron in the heel. Bouncy rubber holds the carbon fiber in place, memory foam on top. Performance: Not much to say currently, will bring this on court soon but currently i am trying to break them in. Currently very comfortable, very bouncy but forefoot will hurt when you land, still has heel compression.
Result: N/A
When you buy the insole you get the size of the bigger size, ie eu43 has 44, eu 45 has 46
Doom GT Cut:(US9.5) TTS Usage: 10+ hours on outdoor and rubberized courts, not tried on wooden floors. Tech: React midsole with full length zoom stroble and thick zoom unit in the heel. Performance: This shoe is wow! Honestly I expected way less because of the reviews. The traction is incredible, never slipped out. Cushion is amazing! I had to replace the zoom strobel however because it deflated over time, within my second session(low rim dunk training). I would watch out for durability but these never caused any knee pain which is a plus in my book. The react midsole bottomed out quicky and molded to my footshape, no clue if retail does this. Lockdown is good, the tpu piece at the side helped with lateral movements. I never felts unstable in these. Pretty low to the ground. Comfort is another strong point, I would wear these casually.
Result: A
LeBron Next Gen EP:(US9.5) TTS/0.5 Usage: 20+ hours(outdoors, rubberized and wooden court) Tech: Phylon midsole with Zoom in the forefoot and heel. I loved this shoe because of its colour, but I feel that this is kind of a letdown but definitely a great shoe for outdoor hoopers. Traction is great outdoors and on rubberized courts but it slid out on wooden courts when i was doing crossovers and defending, which as a small and light guard is a huge no no. Cushion is the best part of the shoe, the zoom turbo in the forefoot is great underfoot, heel zoom unit feels great for comfort and impact protection. Definitely amazing for guards playing outdoors. Lockdown isn’t that good from side to side because of the materials making the side of your feet slightly over the base, making it feel like your hanging slightly and feels unstable. I want to say that the quality of the materials isn’t the best, and sometimes how the upper contains my foot makes the shoe feel bottom heavy and sluggish.
Result: B+
Son Of Flash: (US9.5)TTS Usage: 60+ hours all on outdoor court Tech: Two boom pods in heel and forefoot caged in cloud foam. Performance: This shoe is everything its meant for, definitely an outdoor beast. The traction is wearing away at hot spots already but for me to always reach for them before going out speaks for its performance. Traction sticks on concrete, no matter how dusty or rough, it never slipped out. Cushion is plush in the heel and reactive in the forefoot. You dont feel the boom underfoot but it does its job. Lockdown is great, it feels like a kyrie in terms of how it plays but one issue i have is that this is the only shoe ive sprained my ankle very badly in. I dont blame the shoe because my landing mechanics that day were slightly off because one defender kept going in my landing space but after the sprain i could never go 100% in them. This is another shoe i would rock casually, very comfortable and plays well outdoors.
Result: A+
All city 11:(US9) TTS Usage: 20+ hours(outdoors and rubberized courts) Tech: full length caged boom Performance: One thing i regret is not using them more, and getting my true size, this is the most kyrie feeling shoe after i trashed my kyrie 7 and infinity but i didnt like the fit being 0.5 size down. Traction is the same as the son of flash as it’s amazing on outdoors and rubberized courts. Cushion isnt very plush underfoot but its low to the ground and responsive, impact protection does makes me sluggish after more then 2 hours and makes me sore the next day, but great for outdoor players.
Result: A
Why Not 0.3 SE:(US9.5) go down 0.5 Usage: 10+ hours Tech: forefoot zoom turbo and phylon midsole Performance: This is one of the worse shoes I’ve tried. They are pretty stable and make me play fast but you need to have perfect body control to always land on your forefoot because the phylon at the back doesn’t absorb shit and you FEEL it in your knees when you land. Traction is decent outdoors but I wouldn’t use it outdoors, only rubberised courts and indoor, maybe light pickup to have fun, definitely not 4v4 half court or 5v5 full court. Fit is my favourite part of the shoe, wide foot friendly and super comfortable, materials are good too.
C+
WKB kobe 6(US9.5) TTS Usage:100+ hours on rubberized, outdoors and wooden courts. Tech: Zoom turbo in the forefoot and zoom unit in the heel, cushlon midsole Performance: These are my second favourite shoe, definitely will get more pairs once these completely die out. Traction is insane, no squeak but sticks and doesn’t collect dust. Cushion is very good also, I never felt sore after the game ever, it doesn’t help your bounce because it’s more like subtle in how it works. Lockdown and support is good, lateral support is excellent, but materials are stiff and doesn’t feel like retail. Anyone who gets this shoe I’d recommend wearing them around the house and double socking. This shit heats up, and break in time breaks your feet before the shoe breaks in.
Result: A+
Giannis Immortality: (US9) go TTS Usage:50+ hours Tech: phylon midsole Performance: lasted well before the cushion bottomed out, will probably get an insole for all my shoes that have no cushion so I can play in them. Traction is the best part of the shoe, sticks on wood, outdoors, rubberized, better then some of my retails, herringbone works guys. Cushion is decent but hurts my knees, don’t really recommend for anyone above 50 kg without a rotation. Materials is where it sucks, the upper tore in where my foot needs support the most and now I can feel it sometimes slightly tearing the more I play.
Result: D
DF kobe 5: Usage: 10+ hours on outdoor court. Tech: ??? All foam Performance: this is the worse shoe I own. Traction sucked even after cleaning but getting better slightly, cushion was okay for maybe 5 hours on court before it bottomed out, maybe an insole can fix it.
Result: F
Have not tried on Kai 1 or pg 6 but lemme just say Kai 1 is my favourite fitting shoe now, both are extremely comfortable, Kai 1 might be my new game day shoe
Ask any questions!
submitted by Temporary_Target2617 to BBallShoes [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 04:12 WabbajackedWacko Adventures with an Interdimensional Psychopath 39

***Lily*** “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have run off when I did. I should’ve known you would have my best interests at heart,” I whisper.
“I… I don’t have a heart…” He chuckles meekly.
I chuckle too and respond, “Still, you’re as generous as you are funny. Strong as you are quick. And clever as you are funny. As annoying as it can be sometimes.”
I laugh again. After a moment, I can feel the awkwardness lift as he chuckled then started to move his arms. Suddenly he hugs me back, tightly. Something wet ran down my cheek and I hear him murmur something and ask, “Did you say something?”
“What? No.” He says. He then pushes me back as he says, “Oh crap! We forgot to get you leather armor!”
“Now, now dearie. Believe it or not, we actually took care of it while you were running around looking for her.” Silkie says coming up towards us down the stairs.
“Oh. How did you…” he starts to say as he looks towards me. He then stops and stares at me for a minute. “What happened to your hair?” He asks.
“Oh! This? Believe it or not, this is my original hair color. Do you… do you like it?” I ask back.
“I do. It really is captivating.” He says, putting his hat back on.
I smile. Afterwards, we turn towards the voice that yells, “Yargh! All done. Let’s see how it fits now, yargh.”
It’s Mr. Doe holding the leather armor from before. “That was fast.” Silkie says.
“Yargh. I’ve done me fair share of tanning. This be nothing to a mighty man of the sea, yargh.” He says.
I get up and go over to try them on again.
“Hey John. You got here fast. Did you lock up shop already?” Wabbajack asks him.
“Lock? Why would I lock up me shop, yargh.” He answers.
There is a moment of silence at that statement.
“You’re joking. Right?” Wabbajack asks.
After I am done putting on the leather gloves, shin-guards, and breastplate, I notice that the gloves and shin-guards fit better, and the breastplate conforms a lot better to my shape than before too. “Wow, this is a lot better!” I announce.
“Wow, that is an impressive refit.” Silkie adds.
“Refit? From who?” Wabbajack asks.
“That was Iris’s old assassin armor.” Silkie answers.
Wabbajack looks back at the armor for a minute. Afterwards, he just says, “Impressive refit.”
I then to puff my face in annoyance.
Silkie looks back at Mr. John Doe and asks, “I gotta say, your skills with leather is astonishing but, I don’t think that you quite have what it takes to run your Own business. What do you say you come work for us? Open up your shop here? That way, you can focus on your leatherworks and we can handle your business side of things.”
He takes a puff of his corn-cob pipe and says, “Yargh, well. That would be a lot more fun for me too, yargh. Mayhaps…” He then shakes his head as he says, “Yargh, I can’t. I already have a shop. I can’t abandon it, yargh.”
At that point, a ball of eyeballs with a funny hat float towards him. It then says, “Observer 2-5-6-9 reporting. You are Mr. John Doe, correct?”
“Yargh, that be I. Who’s asking?” Mr. Doe responds.
“Observer 2-5-6-9. I regret to inform you that your store, “The Blubbering Walrus”, has been ransacked and looted. All items, including the boards that made the structure, were taken. We apologize for your loss. Would you like to make a report?” it answers in an almost robotic tone.
“Yargh! What! Me entire store is gone!” Mr. Doe exclaims.
What did you expect? You left the store unsupervised and unlocked. Still, it Is kinda surprising to hear that they took the Structure as well.
“Yes. Unfortunately, none of your items, or building, were insured by the Dimensional Union of Multiplying Basic Opportunities, so you will not be compensated for the loss of any of your stock. We wish you luck in your future endeavors.” It says as it floats towards me.
“Observer 2-5-6-9, reporting. Are you Lily Extravagund?” it then asks me.
“Um, yes?” I answer.
“I regret to inform you that your picnic basket was stolen in the recent raid on the “Blubbering Walrus”. Unfortunately, none of your items were insured by the Dimensional Union of Multiplying Basic Opportunities, so you will not be compensated for the loss. We apologize and wish you luck in your future endeavers.” It then floats away.
“Okay… that was interesting.” I say.
“You might want to reconsider her offer.” Wabbajack says.
“Yargh, business is hard. Very well madame. If you really think me works are worthy, I’ll reopen the Blubbering Walrus here. Although, I will need me own tools, yargh.” He says, offering his hand.
“That’s all well and good but, unfortunately, I am not the person to decide that. That would be up to Iris.” Silkie says, crossing two of her arms and putting one against her cheek and the other on her hip.
“Who? Yargh.” He asks.
“My sis.” Wabbajack says.
“Yargh! That be a surprise. Any advice?” Mr. Doe asks Wabbajack.
As helpful as ever, Wabbajack just shrugs. He then goes, “OH! Buffalo wings! She loves those.”
Silence.
“Don’t worry dear, I’ll put in a good word for you.” Silkie says. “Go ahead and wait down here while I go talk to her.” She says as she goes back up the stairs.
“Looks like you’re on the fast track to being part of the family John.” Wabbajack mentions, offering his hand.
Mr. Doe takes a puff and takes it. They then perform a vigorous shake. He then takes another puff and goes back to the cafeteria.
Wabbajack looks back towards me and asks, “Well. Take two, are you ready to try getting a familiar?”
I adjust all my new gear. From my mask and emblem to my still-empty quiver, all the way to my new shin-guards. Making sure that it’s comfortable. I then let out a chuckle. Wabbajack asks, “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing. I’m just starting to feel like a Real adventurer.” I answer.
He laughs. I then let out a laugh as well.
I then skip towards the door. As I am skipping, I look over my shoulder and say, “Come on! We still got to head to Mogsten’s!”
He adjusts his hat and says, “Coming!” He then starts walking behind me and says, “Hey! Shouldn’t You be following Me?”
I chuckle as I say, “Well then, move faster!”
I hear him chuckle as he immediately catches up to me.
We open the door and head on out back to Mogsten’s. I stay close to Wabbajack so not to get lost again. I eventually look back up to the sky, between the clouds and the flying creatures with and without cities on their back. It’s all so crazy. I feel more alive than I have felt in, well, ever. A month ago, I would have laughed someone out of town if they had told me a place like this existed. Now, I can’t help but imagine what else is out there. There must be So much if Wabbajack, with how much he has seen and done, if he still gets surprised every now and again. Magic is real, and it is Improved with science. A thought occurs however so I ask, “Hey, is there more than what’s here or is there other countries or whatever they might be called?”
He puts a finger to his chin and answers, “Well, it goes on forever. It’s all Spiritopia but there are different cultures depending how far out you go. Up is typically for the people who enjoy flying as opposed to walking and down is for the people who prefer something overhead at all times, like molemen, certain kinds of vampires, and some reptile people. The list goes on.” He then points to the right and says, “If I’m not turned around again, that should be towards the oceanic district, for the ones who enjoy or need to be moisturized at all times. The other way is the forest district where people who enjoy that kind of place. Personally, I have thought about a treehouse myself. Each kind of district offers unique kinds of goods but, the city district, the place that we are at now, offers goods from all of them but it’s more generalized. The forest district offers some unique fruits and poisons that aren’t sold here for example. But, unless you are looking for something incredibly specific, you should be able to find it here.”
“Wow… this place goes on forever huh?” I say amazed. I then ask, “What about sandy areas? Are there species who need that kind of environment?”
He shrugs and says, “Well, before you get to the oceanic district, there is quite a bit of sand. Not to mention, sand bathing is surprisingly popular so there are businesses here that offer that service. But, not exactly popular material to build on. Some people like to go camping there however.”
It’s like a veritable playground. I ask another question, “Now that I think about it, was this place always like this or were there people who cultivated it like this?”
He tilts his head as he answers, “Well, that’s the thing with certain dimensions. Some just are. This is a perfect example of that kind of place. There is no history, no records, or no previous involvement. This place was just paved and ready for the first group of people who came by. Although, what was weird, even by my standards, was that there were Detailed instructions on how to cultivate All this. That is the only time that had Ever happened AND people following it.”
“Wait. Instructions? So… Someone left it?” I ask.
“Well, yes. Someone had to. The problem is, there was no traces on it whatsoever. It’s like it came with the dimension.” He answers, pointing a finger in the air.
“And that doesn’t happen often?” I ask as well.
“Well, the instructions part is actually pretty common. But it was discovered by a group of people with the diversity and skill that were willing to follow it. That. That takes planning of an extraordinary scale. Most people, even with the instructions, just ignore it and start doing their own thing. Which usually causes problems down the road. Hubs like this are rare admittedly. Especially as free as it is.” He answers again, this time scratching his head.
“So, is Spiritopia one of a kind?” I ask.
“As far as I know but, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was another similar to it however.” He says, as he walks normally again.
I look forward to try and process all this stuff but, as I do, I see Mogsten’s sign over his tent.
Before we walk in, I stop Wabbajack.
“Hmm? Don’t tell me your having doubts now, are you?” he asks.
I shake my head and say, “I Have to know something.”
“What’s up?” he asks.
“Is chewed gum really an ingredient in certain things?” I ask.
He lets out a laugh as he answers, “Surprisingly. The fact that they are pre-chewed make it easier to get samples from certain creatures. For example, would you rather get venom directly from a snake or trick it with some gum and extract it that way?”
“I guess that is a possibility…” I say.
“Don’t get me wrong, it’s Definitely not as concentrated as pure extract but, it’s usually good enough for moderate level stuff.” He explains.
We stand there for a minute. He then asks, “Was that all?”
I snap out of it and say, “Oh! Yes. Let’s do this!” I then march right through the flap towards the surprisingly large inside.
As we enter, we see Mogsten, in full on bit mode, with a customer. Looks like a fishman.
“Yes. It is quite a rare piece. I don’t see how I could sell it for anything less than, say, a thousand currency?” I hear him say.
“A thousand! Forget that! I would buy it for twenty currency.” The fishman says.
“But sir, giant’s horns are indeed rare. Not to mention to find one willing to give it up is even More difficult. I don’t know when I would ever get another one! Nine hundred fifty.” Mogsten states.
“Ha! Nine hundred fifty? Dude, this shop is terrible! If you don’t want me to spread the word around that you rip off your customers with absurd prices Gnome!” He pauses and grabs the horn. He then says, “Then I guess the price on this is free. Ha!”
“Actually, nine hundred fifty is a pretty fair price for a giant’s horn.” Wabbajack points out.
“And who asked…” he starts to say as he turns around. He then sees Wabbajack and panics “A-a-a-a. You! Crap! Look, don’t kill me man! Look, I’ll give you the horn! Just, don’t hurt me!”
“Umm, that horn isn’t yours though. You haven’t paid Mr. Mogsten for it yet.” I point out.
“Shut up you brat! I ain’t talking to you! Besides, he’s a Gnome. What’s he gonna do? Throw rocks at me?” the fishman says.
Wabbajack steps towards him and he just falls backwards. Before the fishman can even mouth whatever he wants to say, Wabbajack says, “One, this “brat” is a very good friend of mine. Two, gnome or not, you don’t just take whatever products you want just because you feel like it. Three, that gnome could easily kill you in any number of ways. And four, you won’t make any friends if you continue being as rude as you have been.”
I see a puddle appear on the floor and some gasping. He then just falls flat. He looks like he is still breathing.
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