Just to preface, this is no place for woman bashing I’m a feminist and it’s multi faceted concern regarding something more systemic.
As someone who has rarely used the dating app Tinder, I have just found it ironic how many women will put BLM on their tinder page, when the very crux of the app is at the exclusion of most black men at least when it comes down to actual numbers and standards for success of the app.
It gives me that feeling of when I worked at Starbucks, and a customer is chastising me for their “non fat free laté” because they want to save the planet. This irony makes me wonder if they care about the underpaid baristas and the ethics of Starbucks as a corporation.
I would much rather my oppression be overt than patronizing. For the many times I have seen BLM on tinder, the very selection criteria prioritizes the esthetic which of course benefits white European standards of beauty.
And this isn’t remotely the fault of individuals, but Black Lives Matter applied a normie slogan often becomes the CocaCola of “I’m virtuous, now give me by burger” and it encourages people to do little examining about the ethics of online dating and it’s affect on race, or how a system may impact their personal biases, and how writing something like BLM is only a slap in the face for for the many black men swiping, as African beauty standards are some of the most neglected by the dating apps. Never have I had a swipe back from someone who had BLM in their profile.
I would much rather live in a world where we call dating apps what they are. Particularly when esthetics and status are a prioritized factor that black men are rejected from the most.

My BF and I have dabbled in the FFM swinger lifestyle and we’ve both loved all the women we’ve met and dated together so far ☺️ I’ve also been a unicorn myself in the past for a few couples.
The other night however, we were supposed to meet a 30y.o. woman for drinks at the bar. I had met her out before and we exchanged numbers and she was interested in joining me and BF. Soo that night I accidentally sent her the wrong address at first so we found out after she arrived. The correct address was 10min away, but she threw a fit about it. So when she finally comes to the right bar, I’m excited to get to finally talk all together (as I had been the one to meet her prior and get her number). That’s until about 2 minutes into the conversation… she is overbearing and doesn’t really pay attention to me, but instead my BF.
She says she’s never been with a girl before ever but is curious to try it and I’m beautiful etc. But it feels like her attraction for me is fake and my BF and her are flirting. My BF mentions that I’m finishing my last semester of school… she asks if I’m in high school… I blush, laugh nervously and say I’m in college. My BF laughs and they continue talking. Watching them and her comment made me nervous so I start to drink. At one point she says my nails look trashy and sad. (Just got my acrylics off). This makes me self-conscious as we are planning on potentially being intimate and I couldn’t do anything about it. Moreover, she then started showing BF her nails. That broke my composure and I started to tear up. BF chuckles and says men don’t really look at or care about nails. BF tried to console me but I excused myself to restroom to wash my face and recollect.
When I come back to the table, I drink more to try to relax. I end up asking for another drink and chug that one down. At that point I’m starting to see blurry, but also feel better. Then the girl offers me the rest of her drink and after that I start to full cry. I felt awful for drinking so much and that BF didn’t defend me or stick up for me when I was obviously uncomfortable and she was disrespectful.
So BF tries to console me again but I try to walk away from the table and fall over because I don’t realize that I’m disoriented. He says goodbye to her and helps me to the car. The entire time he is fuming and telling me to pull myself together. In the car I start to bawl and then go home to cry in bed pillows for a couple hours. I wake up in the morning and BF is angry at me and the scene I made at the bar. He says that was dramatic overreaction and it’s impossible for me to be drunk from 2.5 drinks. I “acted that way for attention”. When I tried to explain why it started, it all just turned back on me…
For reference I am 115lbs, 5’10”, and on anti depressants. He thinks I need help, while I think the episode was due to too many drinks. I feel like SHE was the problem to begin with. This makes me mad at my BF that I’m the problem. I know I could have handled it better but I didn’t know drinks would make me more emotional - if anything I thought it was the opposite. Ofc I want to take a break from throuples and focus on us for now, but it breaks my heart that BF was so unsupportive of me and wasn’t there to take care of me. Moreover that he’s mad at me for “making a scene” and being a “drama queen”. His lack of empathy makes it hard for me to trust him and feel loved.

The constant rejection. It literally drains everything out of you. When you watch women that you want lust and desire men that you can’t even compare to, it destroys your soul. You pour, and pour, and pour everything out of your heart only for none of that effort or energy to be reciprocated.
Even the relationship I have been in, I was left with shattered heart because either one of them only saw me for my career potential or they felt unfulfilled and simply walked away from me with little explanation and no closure.
Love can be beautiful and can truly enhance someone’s life.
But that type of love has evaded me for 35 years.
And to be quite honest, it feels as if love is going to completely avoid me for another 35 years and beyond….

As we get into the new season, I just thought it would be fun to track and discuss the themes and motifs this show has kept up throughout the seasons so far so we can see how they play out in Season 4:)
NOTE: I have not read many spoilers. I don't mind if they come into the discussion, but please mark with a tag for anyone who doesn't want to see them!
Honestly, when I really laid all these out, it made me appreciate the writing so much more, even in moments I didn't really care for the first time around.
Plus analyzing stuff like this is fun for super cool people. Join me!
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• What it Means to Save Someone

This is probably the main theme of the series and the thing that becomes the biggest downfall for all our protagonists. "Saving Someone" has now become something that puts the viewer on edge.
How many times has a character exclaimed "I'm trying to save you," when actually all they're doing is trying to serve their own selfish agenda and alleviate their own guilt or affirm their image of themselves?
I could seriously write a whole essay about this and how it ties to the idea of What it Means to Be a Hero. But feel free to discuss it more in the comments.

• Subverting "Truth, Justice, and the American Way

The Boys is constantly exploring how Vought and The Boys bend the truth to serve their own agenda and are constantly asserting that the definition of truth typically belongs to whoever has the power (Power being another big motif).
Justice vs. Vengeance is also a big one that keeps coming up. Starlight is arguably the only character who is earnestly pursuing true justice on this show and tbh, it cramps everyone's style. MM and Hughie also great characters to follow for this because they are both genuinely trying to do the right thing and are often seduced by Butcher's much more attractive Vengeance call.

• Mother and Father Relationships

This is another one that could turn into a whole essay and one that I'd probably have to go back and take more notes to explore. But I think it really ties into this idea of Power and Responsibility. Because isn't that the cornerstone of what it means to be a parent?
Children are seen by society as the ultimate innocents who must be protected at all costs, but they are so often abused and exploited by the people who are supposed to protect them - Even when it's unintentional. Parents so often see children as extensions of themselves rather than individuals. Simply tools to affirm their own existence or be mirrors of themselves (which ties into the whole selfish "I'm trying to save you" theme).
We see this explored with Ryan a lot, but this was beautifully culminated at the end of S3 when MM realizes he needs to be honest with his daughter about what he's been going through, not to justify his mistakes, but to show her respect and acknowledgement of a two-way relationship.

• Power in the Hands of Women and Power in the Hands of POC

Oh man. This is another one that's like... A whole ass paper.
Super powers are definitely a vehicle to explore societal power with woman and POC on this show and the daunting idea that even with superpowers or wealth, race and gender can still be used as kryptonite.
We see it touched on in the ongoing discussions of how to properly "play the game" and achieve real power.
We see the Power and Women explored pretty in depth in Season 2, but Ashley is a really awesome ongoing exploration of this theme through a gender lens as she rises to power at Vought.
A Train and Noir are an obvious example of this exploration through a racial lens, but it's definitely also been touched on through pretty much every character of color on this show. I think they really got into it in a really interesting way on Gen V as well, but I don't want to bog this down any harder.

• Gender Roles and Toxic Masculinity

Just making sure everyone is on the same page - Toxic Masculinity does NOT mean that masculinity is inherently toxic. It is meant to focus on the unhealthy presentations and expectations of performing the role of "being a man."
Toxic Masculinity really became the focus of Season 3. We see that most clearly in the character of Soldier Boy (though I do worry that due to Jensen Ackles natural charisma, it didn't quite achieve the impact the writers intended), but also in Hughie.
Although many people (including me) felt like it was a disappointing step back for Hughie, I'm actually leaning back the other way on the rewatch. I think that the feeling powerless (which is something we feel as ordinary citizens all the time) moment Hughie had when he realized all the work he did with Neuman was built on a lie probably threw a lot out of whack. It makes perfect sense that the comments about his vulnerability and softness might start hitting a little differently than they used to.
Frenchie and MM on the other hand, are great examples of characters of healthy masculinity in their willingness to share power, be vulnerable, and self reflect so that they are able to support the interests of their loved ones.

• What is REAL Power?

This is the final theme I'll mention because it's a big one and I think it's going to be important in the upcoming season. Where does real power come from? Money? Strength? Social influence? Knowledge? Relationships?
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Okay I'm tired of typing and it's likely that only four people will comment on this if I'm lucky.
I hope you enjoy discussing (feel free to add your own big themes if I missed any) and I hope that being aware of these themes make the upcoming season more fun to watch.

SABOTAGE?! And it all started out as such a nice idea… A cliche as tall as my ex-roommate’s erection live-blending Kelly Bundy Mike Kelley and Ted Bundy parafernalia wearing blondes to the sound of gekko’s mating in the Amazon. Cut the bullshit! There’s no such thing as a nice idea getting detourné by some smart art postpostsituationist pranker or right-wing gaswhitey flexfrat, no, my dear well-meaning peace dove friends, if an idea can gets turned into its opposite during its execution, it probably was flawed from the start! Sometimes people use Woodstock 99 - the limp dickshit rape and pillage slash and burn disaster edition - as an example of how a great, positive, wonderful, hell, holy idea can turn into the worst kind of evil in the hands of the wrong people. Well, dear naivopino’s, let me inform you: bull-shit! The whole idea of Woodstock, be it ’99, ’94, ’69 or 2219, is just batshit dumbwhat asking for the baddest kind of trouble right from the bat. Or, what? Do you honest-to-dogly think that during the original (I retrovulsely puke into my stomach even using that wretched word) edition of 1969 nothing was burned, stolen, no women were raped? What, just because there were no sperm dna tests, nigh to none options for women to speak up against sexual violence let alone the fact that speaking up against rape during that whole shitshebang of a weak acid trip’s campfire get-together was near to blasphemy in the hippie community means that no women were raped? Because men all of a sudden turned into meek little dickies lambs for three years from 1968 to ’71? Fuck that shit. Please. I don’t even want to spend a single move of a single digit of my old hands having to make anything about that largest circle jerk-off in history clear to you. Read your books. Do your homework. Anyway, that’s what I was thinking about when a friend told me recently about another of those so-called great ideas gone hilariously wrong in a little map smudge of a town in of all fucking places Belgium for chrissakes. Let me admit to you, right here and now, no smirk no smile on my face: I laughed so hard when I heard it I shat my new Calvins. Framed them afterwards, too, in a nice little Nielsen A2 birch. It’s sitting there, stinking the fuck out of my storage, waiting for a good stock market crash to come. Never underestimate the potential of the future art market gold rushes. My shit, my gold, bruv. So, these two clowns of artists in Belgium (are there any other there? don’t get me started on rené ma bite or marcel bread arse here!) had the ammazing idea to get themselves funded by the local government in this hamlet of three houses called Watou which apparently would be part of - ok, stop me here. Not in the history of mankind has ever ended a sentence well which tried to explain any aspect of Belgian politics, topography or whatever the call the thing there where a man rides a horse stark naked and bites the neck of living goose hanging from a tree? (See, that sentence didn’t end well either, did it, what’d I tell you? Cursed stuff!) Let’s try that again: two artists in the Belgian town of Watou had the splendid idea to organize a festive event, in the middle of summer, whereby all the people of this little village (if you’re thinking of blue skinned vikings charging Roman legionnaires in a berry-induced bad trip frenzy, well, so am I) for one day left their houses, dropped the key of their house in a transparant bowl on the town square and all went to the field adjacent to their village to well be (as in: not fornicate) together and thereby, if I had a press release I’d quote this from it: practiced a performative experiment in hospitality and neighborship where no fixed rules are applied. I’m guessing if you’re sensitive like I am to the finer things a life, you might as well start looking for your nearest Nielsen frame too by now, but hey: we haven’t even gotten to the joke yet! This was all the serious stuff. Let me summarise it even more briefly for you, just to get it out of my haemorrhoidical system: Imagine a village. Everyone leaves their house at the same time. Leaves their front door open. Drops the key to said door in a large bowl. Drifts into a field somewhere off to do fripp knows what (no rules applied, but probably: no fornication whatsoever.) Got the mental image? Good. Now get the fuck out of that dream and imagine any sad little teardrop of a town you know. Imagine who lives there. Imagine all the people you know who live in a town, or rather, fuck that, imagine all the people you know. Now imagine that some dogoodydoodydoobywah wants to “bring the people together again” and “mend the social bonds which had been broken by” yaddah yaddah yaddah. Okay? Now imagine the fucking assholes - they might even be you - who get they absolute mostest pleasure out of ruining the naive, well-intentioned ideas of others? You see what I see? The doodygoodoo is a bit all alone on his white ivory hilltowertop, right? All the others apparently prefer to start mayhem, to jinx other people’s efforts, to laugh - loud! - at their friends tripping over their own feet. No? You think in your ‘reality’ people are ‘decent’ and ‘rough diamonds’ or ‘deeper than you’d think they are’? Well, my dear, that paradisiacal odor you’re smelling all around you is the smell of your own shit cause you got your head up your ass! Listen and suffer! Because what happened in our not-just-proverbial Belgian village on that sunny morning in July… a couple of the townspeople - we’ll never know how many but I’m guessing almost everyone except for the government-funded, from-the-city hippie artists was in on the joke - had invited some acquaintances from the town next door to quietly enter the village while everyone was not-fornicating on the idyllic field, to take all the keys from the bowl, lay them on the train tracks which run along the town, flattening them to perfectly unusable little steel flabs and placing them back in the bowl. So when our supposedly resocialised townspeople entered their village that afternoon, ready to get their key, run to their house and close their door for at least the next 364 days, the immediately realised they couldn’t close their doors anymore. Total mayhem ensued. Men started chasing women, people pillaged their neighbours houses, children and adults alike pooped on all toothbrushes they could find, underwear was thrown into compost heaps, compost heaps were thrown into unlawful indoor spas, hundred thousands of untaxed euro piles were find inside old televisions and grandmas paintings. There was no stopping them. Housewifes hung themselves after their portrait, tits out and all, was found hanging above at least three beds in different houses. It was bad. Real bad. By the time news of this feast of anarchy and murder had spread to the nearest villages and the police arrived, the artists had of course long disappeared, no doubt to narrativise their failure into a story of experiment and learning and cash in a couple of fat pay checks.
And you know what the name was the artists had given their beautiful day of harmony and collective connecting: Open Doors Day. They sure got it, their open doors day, they sure got it. Serves them right. Serves them damn right.
peace - out!

I feel stupid about being so bothered by this, but it’s been affecting me for years and I’d appreciate some advice.
My partner is wonderful and overall it’s the best relationship I’ve ever been in. We’re late 30s, have been together for years, and are getting married. The ‘but’ is that every few months I get bothered that he almost never calls me beautiful or says anything that expresses sexual attraction.
His default is to tell me I look cute or lovely once every few weeks when I’m very dressed up, but that’s about it. I first brought this up a year in, and told him I appreciated the compliments but would love it if occasionally he used language that made me feel desired - for example ‘beautiful’, ‘sexy’, ‘stunning’, etc. His response was that he is ‘of course’ attracted to me and would work on it, but nothing changed. Every few months it bugs me again and I bring it up, and again nothing changes. Sometimes he’ll be defensive, and other times he seems annoyed by the insecurity of me wanting to hear this.
I get hit on a decent amount and previous partners have said a lot of verbally affirmative things. I care a lot about my appearance and spend a decent amount of time and money looking my best. I know it makes me shallow and it feels pathetic to care about it so much, but it hurts that the one person I want to look beautiful for doesn’t seem to see it.
It wouldn’t bother me if my partner used the same neutral language for other women he finds attractive, but fairly often he will refer to someone we know or a celebrity as beautiful or gorgeous or some other high praise, so I feel like there are special desexualized words he uses for me only. Our sex life is decent, and I’ve told him that feeling verbally desired really turns me on but that doesn’t make a lasting difference either. I hit on him or tell him he looks handsome or sexy a few times a month and he says thank you but doesn't usually reciprocate.
I have tried different ways to bring it up with him and have gone over it with a therapist, but at this point I just don’t think it will ever change. Are there different ways I can look at this, or adjust my own thinking so that it doesn’t eat away at me?

Found this very interesting interview. Read the tl;dr part if you hate reading longass walls of text.
Note: Page 1 is mostly about Ryou's early days as a struggling novelist, then mangaka assistant and then mangaka and workflows during analog and digital era, the only important part is that Boy's Abyss is... not much of a culmination of her mangaka career, but a work where she can satisfy her ego the most, so i skipped them due to time. Pages 2, 3 and 4 have more info about Abyss.
PART 2: ABOUT BACKGROUND DESCRIPTIONS THAT SUPPORTS THE HUMAN DRAMA
Sauce: https://youngjump.jp/comic_award/interview/2024/05/index2.html
--How do you decide on the locations for your works?
It depends, but I tend to choose places where I have spent time in the past or places that remain in my memory.
--I see. Is there anything important to remember in order to recall the right location for the scene?
You can't open a drawer where there isn't one, so I think it's important to look at various places on a regular basis to increase the number of drawers.
--In "Shounen no Abyss", bridges seem to appear many times in important scenes, including in the first episode. Is this intentional?
Yes, it is. In the first episode, I put the bridge as a kind of borderline between life and death, and I think that the readers came to feel the danger from the bridge. So I may have consciously chosen to use a bridge in decisive scenes. Also, since Reiji is a person who cannot decide for himself whether to live or die, I have him hovering on the bridge, which is between life and death.
(Footnote for a panel from ch. 2: From the second chapter, "Incognito Date". The location of the bridge makes us feel more that Reiji is wandering between life and death.)
--I see. By having them perform on the bridge, you are also conveying the character's condition and humanity.
(Footnote with a page from ch.87: From episode 87, "After the dream". In episode 87, which is set in Tokyo, Reiji's wavering state of mind is expressed in detail using a bridge as a stage.)
--I feel that the timing of the rain is also very well thought out.
Rain is an indispensable element in a gloomy work like this, so I often think about the weather from the plotting stage. Also, when I draw rain, I imagine myself being in the rain. It is cold, my clothes stick to my skin, it gets in my eyes.... I hope that the reader can feel these things.
(Footnote with the page where Akira betrays Shino'oka and gives in to Yuko's temptation in ch102: From Chapter 102, "Amid the Overflowing Water". The texture of the rain effectively shows Nozoe's inclined mind.)
--you have to think about what kind of environment the person is in and what kind of air he/she breathes.
I think it depends on the type of work. For my works, that kind of accumulation is important, but there are also works where other things are important. I think you should think about it according to the kind of work you want to paint.
PART 3: ABOUT THE PICTURE DESIGN THAT SUPPORTS THE WORK
Sauce: https://youngjump.jp/comic_award/interview/2024/05/index3.html
--I assume that it was difficult to learn to draw pictures from a place with no experience in manga.
I learned by trial and error while actually drawing. Even now, I still have a hard time with drawings.
--I see. I (the interviewer) like the pictures in "Shounen no Abyss" very much because they match the content of the story, but it seems to me that you have changed the design of the pictures quite a bit from your past works. How did you decide on the style?
When I started my first serial, "Hoboreru Hanabi", I didn't have time to choose the style yet, so I drew what I could draw at the time. From the next serial, "Himegoto: Juukyuusai no Seifuku," I started to think about "making the eyes a little bigger" or "adding deformation.
--In the next serial work, "Hatsukoi Zombie," you used a much more deformed style of drawing. Why is that?
I think it was because it was serialized in a shounen magazine called "Shounen Sunday. I was conscious of the drawings of Rumiko Takahashi, who I have been a fan of for a long time.
--Did you have the medium of "Weekly Young Jump" in mind when you created the artwork for "Shounen no Abyss"?
If anything, I tried to make the design more in line with the content of the book. Considering the content, for example, it was difficult to use the same body size and eye size as the characters in "Hatsukoi Zombie". However, in the case of "Shounen no Abyss," the reality line differs slightly from character to character, and the way in which deformation is added is different for each character.
--Do you have any advice for new artists who want to improve their drawing?
I think it is important to be aware of the importance of observing what you are drawing. If you just draw from your imagination, you will end up with buildings whose structures you don't know, or wrinkled clothes that don't convey the texture of the wearer's clothing, which is a habit of mine. The result is a worldview that is not convincing. In this age of the Internet and other sources of information, it is important to observe the subject matter carefully and draw it, rather than making rough guesses.
--Do you still search for materials when you draw props, backgrounds, etc.?
Yes, I do. For example, I think about "What kind of room would this person live in?", "What kind of shoes would she wear?", "What kind of car would she drive? I think that the accumulation of such details leads to the sense of daily life that is conveyed in the work.
From episode 19, "seducer". The decor and accessories in Chako's room give us a sense of her life. (there was a page from that chapter i can't put in the post, gomwnnasai, gomennasai, gomennasai....)
End of part 3
PART 4: ABOUT WEEKLY SERIALIZATIONS (this is the important shit)
Sauce: https://youngjump.jp/comic_award/interview/2024/05/index4.html
-I feel that "Shounen no Abyss" has a great live-action feel to it. The characters' actions and the development of the story are unpredictable, and each time I am surprised to see how the story will unfold. Do you have a rough idea of how the story will unfold?
There is a general flow of the story, but basically, I myself draw the story while excitedly thinking, "Well, what will this person say or do on the next page?" In a nutshell, is this a romcom in which Reiji meets a variety of women and decides who he will fall in love (or into the abyss)? It's something like that (T/N: Ryou answered like questioning and answering to herself in the last paragraph of this section)
--I have heard that the starting point of the project for "Shounen no Abyss" was "a story about a double suicide" Do you often draw the story with the theme in mind?
Yes, I decide on the axis to some extent at the beginning. If there is nothing at all, the project itself will not be communicated, and it will be difficult to start a serialization.
--I think that in a weekly serialization, it is necessary to attract the reader intensely in the first episode. What were you conscious of in the first episode of "Shounen no Abyss"?
It's an ensemble piece, so I was conscious of showing all the main characters in the first episode. I also decided to make a memorable appearance of the heroine, Nagi, in the last part of the episode. I also thought about the order of the characters that Reiji meets. First, he meets Shiba-chan, who is outside of his interest, and then he meets and talks with his friend Chako. Then his childhood friend Gen would appear, and things would take a turn for the worse. Then, his family, which is the most painful existence for Reiji, makes an appearance. Then he crosses paths with a mysterious man, and finally a beautiful and bewitching woman appears. In order to make it easier for the reader to enter the world of the work, I made the flow of the story gradually fall into darkness.
--It's like Reiji is going down a flight of stairs one step at a time.
Yes, Nagi is waiting for him when he descends the last step. I changed the background accordingly. When he is with his friend Chako, the sun is out, and when the sun begins to set, he meets his family, and by the time he meets Nagi, it's already nighttime.
--I'm so impressed...! You have built in the backgrounds and elaborated on the details.
(Footnote for 2 pages from the 1st chapter that were shown: Both are from the first episode, "The Boy from That Town". He meets his friend Chako on his way to school in the daylight, but by the time he meets his family, it is dark and shadowy outside. The contrast of the background also depicts Reiji's descent into darkness.)
--What are the most important things outside of your work when working on a weekly series?
Physical strength is important. I also think it is important to keep your mind clear and avoid unnecessary stress. There are many times when I think, "I should have done this better," or "It will be difficult this time because I did that last time," but there is no use in overthinking things, so I try to switch over as soon as possible.
--Finally, do you have any advice for new artists?
I think it is important to have a lot of input while you are young, and to push your luck a little in creating your work.
--Thank you for your valuable talk!
Now, the tl;dr:
-2: Bridges in this manga are used as a gate between life and death.
-1: rain is important in this manga to depict the characters' overflowing emotions.
0: Ryou had to choose carefully the type of atmosphere and air for this manga.
1: Ryou drew Drowning Fireworks on a rush and could define a proper style, she shifts styles according to the tone and magazine shenis doing her works for.
2: She had to study locations and interior plaves to depict characters, their lives and mental states.
3: Boy's Abyss is a romcom on its structure. And the characters were introduced in a way you could instantly get familiarized with from the start, as it's an ensemble work.
4: characters were introduced in a way you can feel Reiji is going downstairs into the abyss. Yuri being the first because she's the character he's the least interested into, Chako next because she's the sun, the light, she's Kana Arima... okno, and Nagi last because she's Chako's thematical opposite and had to have an impactful introduction. and the endgame and endgoal are already decided since day one. Nagi is waiting for Reiji to do the last step
5: a good physical condition, being resourceful and brave enough are the keys for a successful weekly story.
That's it. See ya tomorrow.

⚠️ WARNING: Maasverse Spoilers—Proceed with Caution ⚠️

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Part 1: Characters and Courts - YOU ARE HERE
Part 2: World Map, Items, Terms & Other
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Well, here we go. A master list of all things ACOTAR + the "real" world.

Now, do I believe every single name and location on this list was chosen by SJM with a specific real-world allusion in mind? Of course not. But when you look at the similarities, you'd be hard pressed to deny some of their very probable relations.
As far as this list goes, I've provided what was within my ability to find—coupling each with that which made the most sense relationally—though several definitions would appear to have zero connection to the story at large.
I can't promise perfection. Heck, I can't even promise 100% accuracy (though I did cross-reference the more obscure sources). And I will gladly welcome any missing pieces and/or additional insight you may have.
\Note: If a character or place/item is minor enough, I've included a reminder of their book roles.*

So come on, friends. Let's dive on in.

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https://preview.redd.it/6wts6t7iwd0d1.png?width=832&format=png&auto=webp&s=9f0abc281511431ad28cd76819c77b1907b49432

UK + IRELAND

PRYTHIAN

A combination of Prydain, the old Welsh name for Britain, and Brython, which translates to “Ancient Britons” from Welsh.

HYBERN

A riff of Hibernia, the Classical Latin name for Ireland.

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Artist of Prythian map: P-dulcis on redbubble

*A continuing list of world map related locations is provided in Part 2 of this post (see link above)

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https://preview.redd.it/0r8gk0ptwd0d1.png?width=840&format=png&auto=webp&s=f82b8e420140957e0aa7c13ee334d4f9b8cdd032

MAIN CHARACTERS

RHYSAND

Rhys (also Rhŷs) is Welsh in origin and means "ardent, enthusiasm." It has deep roots in Welsh culture and is the name of several famous Welsh kings and noblemen, including Rhys ap Thomas, a solider who rose to prominence during the Wars of the Roses.

FEYRE ARCHERON

Feyre is a variant of Feyre and is Old English in origin. It means "fair, beautiful." A similar name in Old Norse is Freyja (also spelled Freya), meaning "Lady," denotes a woman of nobility. In Norse mythology, Freyja is a goddess associated with love, beauty, fertility, sex, and war.
In Greek mythology, the Archeron is one of the five rivers of the Underworld and is often the principal river through which the ferryman Charon transports the dead. It said to be the River of Woe or the River of Misery.

CASSIAN

Cassian is Latin in origin, means "son of Cassius," and denotes one of the oldest families in Rome. Arguably the most well known Cassius was one of the leading instigators of Julius Caesar's assassination plot.

AZRIEL

Azriel is Hebrew in origin meaning "God is my help." In some religions, Azrael is the benevolent angel of death who carries souls of the deceased to the afterlife.

MORRIGAN

The Morrígan is a Celtic goddess associated with war and fate and is seen as a guardian of the earth and its people. Her name means "great queen" or "phantom queen."

AMREN

Amram is of Hebrew origin and means "exalted people." It is the Biblical name of Moses' father.
Note: This tracks with Amren being able to interpret The Book of Breathings which is a play on the very real The Books of Breathing, a collection of ancient Egyptian funerary texts.

NESTA

Nesta is the Welsh version of Agnes meaning "pure, holy." May also have potential connections to Nestor, a legendary Greek king who was known as a great warrior and for the sage advice he offered younger soldiers.

ELAIN

Elain is Welsh in origin and means "fawn." Elaine is associated with the Greek name Helen meaning "light, bright one."
Fun fact: Elain is an anagram of Aelin.

NYX

Nyx is the Greek mythological goddess and personification of the Night. She is the mother of Day (Hemera) and Darkness (Erebus). She often appears alongside other celestial deities such as Selene, Helios, and Eos.

ILLYRIANS

EMERIE

Emerie has Old German origins and means "home strength, brave, powerful."

ENALIUS

In Greek mythology Enyalius is a son of Ares but is also a byname for the god of war. He is often seen as the god of soldiers and warriors from the Ares cult.

DEVLON

Devlon is Gaelic in origin and related to the name Devlin meaning "fierce courage."

BALTHAZAR

Balthazar is Akkadian in origin meaning "God protects the King." It is a name commonly attributed to the wise man who gifted myrrh to the Christ child (the myrrh symbolizing the future death of a king). It is an alternate form of King Belshazzar who played a pivotal role in a coup d'état that overthrew a Neo-Babylonian king.
ACOTAR role: Balthazar helped Nesta during the Blood Rite.

PROTEUS

Proteus is a prophetic sea god in Greek mythology and means "versatile, mutable, capable of assuming many forms."
ACOTAR role: Proteus is Emerie's father and was killed in the war with Hybern.

BELLIUS

May refer to Belus, the Babylonian god of war.
ACOTAR role: Bellius is Emerie's cousin and was slain by Cassian during the Blood Rite.

KALLON

No clear references found, but kalon in Ancient Greek translates to "ideal perfect beauty."
ACOTAR role: Kallon incited the Illyrians against the Night Court leaders and was ultimately slain during the Blood Rite.

HEWN CITY

KEIR

Keir is Gaelic, meaning "dark," and is related to the Irish name Ciarán. In Greek mythology, the Keres (singular being Ker) were female death spirits who personified violent death. There is a suggested connection between the Keres and the Valkyries of Norse mythology, each representing opposite ideals; the Valkyries being benevolent deities in death, versus the Keres representing feasting destruction.

THANATOS

In Greek mythology, Thanatos is the personification of death. He is a minor figure, often referred to but rarely appearing in person (I see what you did there, SJM).
ACOTAR role: Thanatos is mentioned briefly by Keir during the alliance meeting with Eris.

THE LIBRARY

CLOTHO

In ancient Greek mythology, Clotho is the youngest goddess of the Three Fates and spins the thread of human life. Her name means "spinner."

MERRILL

Merrill is of British origin meaning "sparkling sea, sea-bright."

GWYNETH BERDARA

Gwyneth is Welsh in origin and means "blessed, happiness." In Irish mythology, the Lady Gwyn is a headless woman (cough, Catrin, cough) who chases wanderers at night. In Arthurian mythology, Guinevere has an evil half-sister—"False" Guinevere—who bewitches Arthur.

ANANKE

Ananke means "necessity, fate personified." In Greek mythology she is one of the primordial deities and is the personification of necessity and inevitability.
ACOTAR role: A Priestess who joins in the training to become a Valkyrie.

DEIRDRE

Deirdre is Gaelic in origin and means "broken-hearted, wanderer." The name is associated with a tragic heroine in Irish mythology.
ACOTAR role: A Priestess who joins in the training to become a Valkyrie.

ILANA

Illana is Hebrew in origin nd means "tree, bright light." It stems from the name Elena and is potentially related to the name Ileana, a beautiful young female fairy in various myths.
ACOTAR role: A Priestess who joins in the training to become a Valkyrie.

LORELEI

Lorelei in German in origin and means "alluring, temptress." In German folklore, she is a siren-like seductress.
ACOTAR role: A Priestess who joins in the training to become a Valkyrie.

ROSLIN

Roslin is Scottish in origin and means "rose, red-haired."
ACOTAR role: A Priestess who joins in the training to become a Valkyrie.

RIVEN

Riven derives from Old Norse meaning "to split, tear asunder."
ACOTAR role: A Priestess who avoids contact with strangers and whose background is unknown.

SIDE CHARACTERS

MADJA

Madja is Slavic in origin and may mean "splendid, noble one." In Arabic it means "the women with glory." It is related to the name Madeleine meaning "from Magdala."

NUALA

Nuala is Irish in origin and means "fair shouldered one." In modern Irish storytelling it means "born of the sea." It is considered a diminutive form of the name Fionnuala, a mythological figure who was the daughter of a sea god.

CERRIDWEN

Cerridwen is an enchantress in Welsh mythology. She is said to possess the cauldron of poetic inspiration and is regarded by many as the Celtic goddess of rebirth, transformation, and inspiration.

RITA

Rita stems from the name Margarita and comes from the Greek word meaning "pearl." The Greeks promoted pearls as a symbol of honesty and integrity.
ACOTAR role: Rita owns the "how does the IC not know the clientele is gay" bar.

SEVENDA

No clear connection found, though venda in Latin means "sell" while sev means "strew, spread" and enda means "end." Could also potentially be related to the number seven.
ACOTAR role: Owns a restaurant the IC frequents.

NEVE

Neve is of Latin origin and means "snow."
ACOTAR role: The jeweler from whom Rhys buys jewelry for Amren in ACOFAS.

POLINA

Polina has Latin origins and derives from Apollo, though it could also be seen as a variant of Paulina/Paul meaning "little, the younger."
ACOTAR role: The faerie who owned Feyre's art studio before her untimely death.

RESSINA

Resina means "resin of the pine." Plants secret resin as a protective response, guarding them from insects and pathogens.
ACOTAR role: Ressina opens the art studio with Feyre. She has green skin and stood outside her shop in response to Hybern's attack on Velaris, protecting the terrified faeries inside.

ARANEA

Aranea is Greek in origin and denotes a genus of orb-weaving spiders.
ACOTAR role: Aranea is the weaver who created the Void cloth.

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MAIN CHARACTERS

TAMLIN

From the "Ballad of Tam Lin," a legendary ballad from the borderlands of Scotland. Reminiscent of the fairytale Beauty & the Beast where a mortal woman plucks a rose and encounters a man in the forest, later learning he is captive to faeries. She must hold onto him as he is transformed into various beasts and upon his rescue, the faerie Queen muses that she should have taken out his eyes (Lucien, anyone?) or capture his heart (Tamlin's stone heart) to prevent his escape.

LUCIEN

Lucien is French in origin and means "light." Lucian was also the name of a Hellenized Syrian satirist who was known for his tongue-in-cheek style is said to be the inventor of comic dialogue.

ALIS

Alis is a variant of Alice and translates to "noble, exalted."

SIDE CHARACTERS

IANTHE

Ianthe is Greek in origin and means "she who delights." In Greek mythology she is a water-nymph daughter of Oceanus and a companion to Persephone when she was abducted by Hades.

ANDRAS

Andras has Welsh origins and means "manly, brave."

BRON

Bron is Old English and means "brown."

HART

Hart has Irish origins and means "hero, brave, firm." A hart is also the term for a male deer and in Celtic mythology, the white hart is said to appear when one is transgressing a taboo (Tamlin's whipping of his other sentry comes to mind).

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MAIN CHARACTERS

BERON VANSERRA

Beron is French in origin and is a pet form of the name Bero meaning "bear."
Vanserra is a combination of the prefix van meaning "from, of" and serra meaning "saw, view from a high place" or "mountain range." Vanserra can be said to mean "of the mountains."

ERIS

In ancient Greek mythology, Eris is the Greek goddess of strife and discord. Her Roman equivalent, Discord, is the goddess of chaos. She is associated with the war goddess Enyo who is frequently associated with the war god Ares.

SIDE CHARACTERS

JESMINDA

Jesminder is Indian in origin meaning "flower queen."

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MAIN CHARACTERS

TARQUIN

Tarquin is of Latin origin and means "ruler, strong soldier." Two of the seven kings of Rome bore the name.

VARIAN

Varian is of Latin origin and means "variable."

CRESSEIDA

Cressida derives from Chryseis and means "golden." She is a character associated with the Trojan War and is the archetype of a faithless lover.

SIDE CHARACTERS

NOSTRUS

Nostrum comes from the Latin noster meaning "our, ours." Nostos is an Ancient Greek literary theme concerning an epic hero returning home, often by sea. It is deemed a high level of heroism or greatness and focuses on the hero retaining or elevating their identity while often resisting temptation.
ACOTAR role: The High Lord prior to Tarquin who was slain by Amarantha after participating in a rebellion Under the Mountain.

BRUTIUS

May refer to the Latin name Brutus meaning "heavy, dull."
ACOTAR role: Mercifully slain by Rhys Under the Mountain after his attempted escape.

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MAIN CHARACTERS

HELION

Helios is the Ancient Greek god personifying the sun. He is often depicted with a solar crown and drives a horse-drawn chariot through the sky. He played a significant role in ancient magic and spells and is the son of the Titan Theia and brother to Selene.

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MAIN CHARACTERS

KALLIAS

Callias is Greek in origin and means "beauty, beautiful voice." He is a diplomatic and wealthy figure in Ancient Greece.

VIVIANNE

From the Latin word vivianus meaning "alive." Commonly associated with the Irish name Bébinn meaning "beautiful, fair one" and is the name of an underworld goddess in both Irish and Welsh mythology.

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THESAN

Thesan is the Etruscan goddess of the dawn. Greeks identified her with Eos, the goddess and personification of the dawn. She is sometimes depicted with wings.

NUAN

Nuan is Mandarin and means "warm, genial."

THE PEREGRYN

The peregrine is a falcon renowned for its speed.
Fun fact: The peregrine is the fastest member of the animal kingdom and can reach speeds of over 200mph.

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AMARANTHA

Amaranths is Greek in origin and means "unfading." The amaranthus flower, often deep red in color, is said to symbolize immortality as it blooms for so long.

BRANNAGH

Brannagh is of Irish origin and denotes a "beautiful female with hair dark as a raven."

DAGDAN

In Irish mythology, the Dagda is considered the chief god of the Tuatha Dé Danaan. His name means "the good god, the great god."

CLYTHIA

In Greek mythology, Clytia is a water nymph who loved the sun god Helios. Helios left her for another woman after coming under the influence of Aphrodite. Clytia exposed the affair to the other woman's father, but eventually lost herself in mourning for Helios's love. Her name means "glorious, renowned."
ACOTAR role: Amarantha's sister.

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https://preview.redd.it/u7ro7e96me0d1.png?width=834&format=png&auto=webp&s=9b1aef74acd4c09a8026c10fbbab0ed4804ebb4f

HISTORICAL FIGURES

THEIA

Theia is a Titan and is the Ancient Greek goddess of sight and vision. She is the parent of Helios, Selene, and Eos. She is most known not for her own role, but for that of her childrens'. Her name means "goddess, godly."

SILENE

Selene is the Ancient Greek goddess and personification of the moon. She is the daughter of Hyperion and Theia and sister to Helios and Eos.

HELENA

Comes from the Green name Helen meaning "shining light." There are various Helens in Greek mythology: Helen of Troy, Helen a friend to Aphrodite, and Helene the Amazonian who fought Achilles.

FIONN

Fionn is of Irish origin and means "fair-haired." In Irish folklore, Fionn Mac Cumhaill was a leader of a band of young hunter-warriors.

PELIAS

Pelias is Greek in origin and means "rock pigeon." Pelias was the king of Ioclus while Peleus was the king of Phthia. Peleus was husband to Thetis, father to Achilles, and left several (men and women) dead in his wake, both through means of accident and betrayal, fleeing more than once to escape punishment.

OLEANNA

Oleanna derives from the Greek name Helene meaning "sun ray, shining light."
ACOTAR role: The High Priestess who dipped Gwydion in the Cauldron.

REPORTED DECEASED

CATRIN BERDARA

Catrin is Greek in origin and means "clear, pure." It's commonly used in Wales and is connected with the ancient goddess Hecate, who is the goddess of witchcraft, sorcery, and necromancy.

MINOR CHARACTERS

TANWYN

Tanwan is of Welsh origin and means "white fire."
ACOTAR role: Tanwyn was a Valkyrie and Cassian's former lover.

OSIAN

Osian is Welsh meaning "young deer" and derives from the Irish legendary poet and warrior Oisín, who was regarded as the greatest poet of Ireland and a warrior of the Fianna (small warrior-hunter bands). He was a demigod son of Fionn Mac Cumhaill and Sadhbh.
ACOTAR role: The author of A Brief History of the Great Sieges

RABATH

Rabath is an anagram of Bharat, one of the names of India. Derived from the Sanskrit word bharata, meaning "to bear, be maintained" it can also mean "one who is engaged in search of knowledge."
ACOTAR role: Lord of the Western Wind and ancestor to Merrill.

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https://preview.redd.it/7um6ifo4me0d1.png?width=848&format=png&auto=webp&s=c4d3829695878258de311ec34d4043500d3bbd1a
JURIAN

Jurian is Greek in origin and means "farmer, earthworker."

GRAYSEN

Graysen is of English origin and translates to "son of the steward/gray-haired man."

NOLAN

Nolan is Irish in origin and denotes a "child of nobility, champion."
ACOTAR role: Nolan is Graysen's father.

ISAAC HALE

Isaac is Hebrew in origin and means "one who laughs or rejoices." Hale is Old English in origin and means "nook, recess" and denoted someone who lived in a nook or hollow.

TOMAS MANDRAY

Thomas is Hebrew in origin and means "twin." No clear reference to Mandray, though Mandrew is Greek and means "man, warrior."
ACOTAR role: Tomas was Nesta's former betrothed.

CLARE BEDDOR

Clare is French in origin and means "bright, clear." No reference found for Beddor.

AUNT RIPLEIGH

Ripleigh is Old English and means "shouting man's meadow." It is connected to the name Ripley meaning "strip of clearing in the woods."
ACOTAR role: Aunt Ripleigh is the feigned aunt Feyre takes care of.

Ms. Laurent

Laurent is French in origin and means "from Laurentum" and "bay laurel."
ACOTAR role: Ms. Laurent is the mortal caretaker of the Archeron estate.

BRIAR

Briar is of British origin and means "thorny bush of wild roses, brambles."
ACOTAR role: Briar is the mortal woman rescued by Feyre and Azriel.

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HUMAN QUEENS

VASSA

Vasilissa is Greek in origin and means "queen, empress." It is also the name of a Christian child martyr who was left unharmed during her capture, but after her release was slain in a field as she prayed.

BRIALLYN

Briallen is a Welsh name meaning "primrose." Primrose comes from the Latin word meaning "first" and the primrose flower often represents youth and renewal (SJM, you dog—this may be my favorite tongue-in-cheek naming thing you did).
ACOTAR role: Briallyn is the first queen who enters the Cauldron and is rewarded with immortality as a withered old hag.

DEMETRA

Demeter was the mother of Persephone, an Ancient Greek goddess of the harvest and an emblem of growth.
ACOTAR role: Demetra was the golden queen who provided the mortal half of The Book of Breathings to the Night Court and was subsequently slain by the Attor.

ANDROMACHE

Andromache means "fighter of men." In Greek mythology, she was representative of the suffering of Trojan women during the war and was famous for her virtue and fidelity. Andromache was also the name of a famous Greek Amazonian who fell at Troy.
ACOTAR role: Andromache was the former mortal lover of Mor.

FAE CHARACTERS

DRAKON

Drakon is of Greek origin and means "dragon."

NEPHELLE

In Greek mythology Nephele, meaning "cloud," is a cloud nymph who is considered the goddess of loyalty, generosity, peace, and shyness.

THE SERAPHIM

A seraph is a celestial being regarded as belonging to the highest order of angels in Christian angelology.

HUMAN CHARACTERS

MIRYAM

Miriam of of Hebrew origin and means "sea of sorrow." She is the Biblical daughter of Amram and Jochebed and sister to Aaron and Moses.

URSTIN

No plausible connections found. Potentially an anagram for Rustin, an English name meaning "Rust's estate" or Surtin, a Middle English name meaning "reliable, trustworthy."
ACOTAR role: Urstin is a cousin of the Archerons via their mother.

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MAIN CHARACTERS

THE SURIEL

Suriel is a Hebrew name meaning "God's prince, divine authority." May also reference Sariel, an angel from Judais tradition, one of the seven holy angels. He is considered to be a primordial power invoked for his protective powers.

ATTOR

Possibly an altered form of the German tatter meaning "goblin, puppet." Likely inspired by the Ahool, a bat or primate-like winged cryptid said to live in the jungles of Indonesia.

DEATH GODS

THE BONE CARVER

Self-explanatory.

STRYGA AKA THE WEAVER

Stryzga is a female demon in Slavic mythology similar to a vampire. Stryzga stems from the mythological Strix of Ancient Greece, referring to birds of ill omen (and also witches) who fed on human flesh and blood.

KOSCHEI

Koschei is a common villain in East Slavic tales. He is often given the epithet of "the Immortal, the Deathless" and is said to hide his death inside nested objects for protection. He often takes the role of a malevolent rival figure who competes or entraps a male hero's love interest.
Fun note: The love interest trapping tidbit has interesting connotations for both Lucien (regarding Vassa) and Azriel (regarding Eris). For a breakdown of the Azriel x Koschei scene in ACOSF, see HERE.

PRISON INMATES

BRYAXIS

Bryaxis was a famous Ancient Greek sculptor. His name may mean "delight, lust."

LANTHYS

No information or connections found (and it is KILLING me).

LUBIA

In Albanian mythology, the lubia is a multi-headed, serpentine-like, female watestorm demon-dragon. Her irresistible taste of flesh leans toward that of young girls.
ACOTAR role: Also called Seven-Headed Lubia, imprisoned for preying on girls on the western coast of Prythian.

ANNIS

The Black Annis is a bogeyman in English folklore, depicted as a blue-faced witch with iron claws who has a taste for human flesh, especially that of children.
ACOTAR role: Also called Blue Annis, imprisoned for her craving of female flesh.

VESPERUS

In Greek mythology, Hesperus is the Evening Star. Her Roman equivalent is named Vesper.
ACOTAR role: Vesperus is the Asteri found beneath the Prison.

MINOR CHARACTERS

MIDDENGARD WYRM

Midgard is the realm of human beings in Norse mythology, ie Earth. Wrym is an Old Norse word and refers to a wingless and limbless dragon.

THE BOGGE

Bogge is a Middle English word meaning "frightening specter" from which the term bogeyman originated. Bogeyman have no specific appearance and conceptions vary drastically by culture.
Fun fact: A boggart is a supernatural being from English folklore and also derives from the term bogge (Harry Potter facts, yo).

NAGA

Throughout various Asian religious traditions, Angus are a divine or semi-divine race of half-human, half-serpent beings residing in the netherworld.
Fun fact: A female naga is called a Nagi or a Nagini (more HP facts, yo).

MARTAX

A manticore is a Persian mythological creature similar to the Egyptian sphinx. The martax describe in ACOTAR has a head like a lion's and three rows of teeth. A manticore has the body of a lion and eats its victims whole with its three rows of teeth. The term manticore stems from Latin and Ancient Greek.

PUCA

Púca is Irish for "spirit, ghost" while puca is Old English for "goblin." They were said to be shape-changers.

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MEALLAN

Meallán is Irish in origin meaning "small pleasant one."
ACOTAR role: Helion's pegasus.

ELLIA

Ellia is of various origins and can translate to "beautiful fairy maiden" with hints to the "Otherworld."
ACOTAR role: Mor's horse.

-----------------
For Part 2: World Map, Items, Terms & Other, click HERE

Hi! Kind of a shallow question maybe, but I feel some anxiety about actually *being* pregnant. I feel like the entire process of imagining my body changing so much and birthing a child is scary. I'm a little on the fence about *that* as well as just having kids in general, and nothing I read sounds great. What if it screws up my vagina and my husband doesn't like me anymore? Lol. That's a bit extreme, but I do know of several women who were cheated on 3rd trimester (also my husband jokes about this, so I think he is also worried about the types of changes that may occur for our sex life too, and is not sure how to express that in some healthy way). What if there is some complication, and I have a miscarriage or bedridden for months or even turn out to be infertile, and how stressful and awful that would feel? Also, pregnancy just ages you so much, apparently. I just feel like I'm not sure how to go about the actual anxiety of what would happen to my own body, but there's no way around it if I want biological kids. What about at work -- will people see me differently because I am pregnant?
Any advice of how to think about this in a less daunting way? Which of these are real concerns and which are just anxiety? Is pregnancy actually beautiful or is it just a slog?

Hey girls! I would love to offer you a spot in my DC community where it's just us women who can chat about anything and everything. We're all getting to know one another and becoming each others support as we grow together and become great friends along the way! The girls are so wonderful and will make you feel comfortable if you are feeling unsure. We do game/movie nights and sometimes giveaways for when we reach an X amount of members in the server. We all share common interests from reading, anime, Kdrama/Kpop, gym, Beauty/Fashion, gaming, art, and even for those who want a little study group. Whatever hobbies/interests you have, we all want to know and talk about it so you don't feel left out! We can also spam a bunch of things from our loving pets to tiktok, or if there's ever a time you need to talk about something or need advice, then we have a lovely support system here! Everyone here is so welcoming. This is a non-judgemental and safe space for you to make friends and yap your heart out! I am accepting any women on the spectrum because at the end of the day, women support ALL women! So if you're 22+, 26+ and even 30+ no matter how "old" you think you are. First of all, you're not, and second of all, I ENCOURAGE you to join us and be a part of our circle! If you have any more questions, then dont hesitate to ask. I can be your hype women and take care of you in hopes for you to join this space for you to meet your potential new best friends!

My chat and dm is open to muslim ladies all around the globe as I see beauty in all nations and races and flying is easy in our day and age. Im looking for muslim ladies preferably as Im also muslim and I feel warmth towards fellow muslims but if you are non muslim and if you are open to converting to islam, still hit me up !
Tell me your ASL and anything else you want to tell me about yourself, feel free to send long texts.
When it comes to me, I'm bearded, tall, Turkish man from Türkiye, Im good looking, romantic man. Loving, careful and protective.
I dont talk with women much outside, so, we can chat about your culture, country, gaming, anime, movies, religion, politics or if you want to get serious, we can talk about what are you looking for.
I like to make Tea and Turkish coffee, I like to watch movies, anime and gaming, also memes. I value honesty and I want to talk with a easygoing lady.

My chat and dm is open to muslim ladies all around the globe as I see beauty in all nations and races and flying is easy in our day and age. Im looking for muslim ladies preferably as Im also muslim and I feel warmth towards fellow muslims but if you are non muslim and if you are open to converting to islam, still hit me up !
Tell me your ASL and anything else you want to tell me about yourself, feel free to send long texts.
When it comes to me, I'm bearded, tall, Turkish man from Türkiye, Im good looking, romantic man. Loving, careful and protective.
I dont talk with women much outside, so, we can chat about your culture, country, gaming, anime, movies, religion, politics or if you want to get serious, we can talk about what are you looking for.
I like to make Tea and Turkish coffee, I like to watch movies, anime and gaming, also memes. I value honesty and I want to talk with a easygoing lady.

My chat and dm is open to muslim ladies all around the globe as I see beauty in all nations and races and flying is easy in our day and age. Im looking for muslim ladies preferably as Im also muslim and I feel warmth towards fellow muslims but if you are non muslim and if you are open to converting to islam, still hit me up !
Tell me your ASL and anything else you want to tell me about yourself, feel free to send long texts.
When it comes to me, I'm bearded, tall, Turkish man from Türkiye, Im good looking, romantic man. Loving, careful and protective.
I dont talk with women much outside, so, we can chat about your culture, country, gaming, anime, movies, religion, politics or if you want to get serious, we can talk about what are you looking for.
I like to make Tea and Turkish coffee, I like to watch movies, anime and gaming, also memes. I value honesty and I want to talk with a easygoing lady.

Warning: mention of pregnancy loss and death of family members by gun violence
I, 31 female, have been together with my husband, 37 male, for 10 years and married for almost 9. We have two beautiful children, a 4 yr old son and a 2 yr old daughter and he has two other children with two other women that he doesn’t get to see and pays child support for. Before my son we had 12 losses, one of which I hemorrhaged from and then I ending up almost hemorrhaging to death after our son was born. We also had one more miscarriage after our daughter was born and I’ve since decided to not try for anymore even though this breaks my heart a little because I always wanted a bigger family.
I recently lost my mother and 10 year old niece in August after they were unalived by a family friend who also unalived himself. Less than two months later, my sister tragically passed in a car accident. To say that broke me is truly an understatement. For months all I could do was cry everyday and feel excruciating pain. My mom and sister were extremely close. We messaged and called every day, multiple times a day even though we all live within a 10 mile radius. They were there for me through everything life had to spit at us. We already have lost every female on my dad’s side of the family. My sister and I were all that was left besides our own daughters. The future feels daunting knowing that there may very well be decades with them not here with me.
It’s been many months now and I feel like I am finally starting to feel happiness and I’m just doing my best to spend as much time with my kids and remaining niece and nephew. My oldest niece is my partner in crime especially now that we are in the no mom and no sister club. She’s only in her early teens and she had also been shot but thankfully survived.
On to the issue. My husband has honestly never really put in any effort for birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc. Usually my birthday I don’t give a crap for but it’s only because in the past I’ve been disappointed because no one ever did anything for it. And I’m talking about just like a card and cake. Nothing serious. I really have dirt floor standards to be frank because I just have learned throughout life not to expect anything. That said I am the person who no matter what kind of financial situation I am in will find a way to show love and appreciation no matter the budget. I’ll make you hand made cards, I’ll personally call you on your birthday or special holidays, and I’ll make cake or cupcakes from scratch. If I have a budget I’ll plan dinner and some time to spend out. I just love making people feel happy and special. I was just raised that way.
So of course I find and marry the one person who honestly could kind of care less. I don’t think he has ever gotten or done anything for my birthday, not for Christmas. I remember he got me something for Mothers Day a few years ago…AFTER I had said something. My mom and sister on the other hand always made sure I got a card and we all had a Mothers Day dinner where we would cook and just enjoy time with our kids and ourselves.
This is my first Mothers Day without them and tomorrow and my sisters birthday without her. I had already verbally mentioned how hard it was going to be and my husband fully knew that it was going to be a hard day for me. My friends even sent him ideas for me, like just cleaning up the house and waking up to make breakfast for me. Things he’s honestly never done ever, but hey those are free things anyone could do to make someone feel special. All he said to my best friend was “lol I don’t have any money.” She got pissed. She ended up buying me flowers, a wind chime, some NA beer (I’m sober), and spent extra time with me because she knew I needed my support people on Mother’s Day. My dad also came out in support and got me more NA beer, bought me lunch, and we picked up my oldest niece and I got to spend a ton of time with her. My husband? Slept in until 10:30am. Didn’t do anything all day. I was up at 6 am with the kids and made breakfast after I realized he was still sleeping because ya know, kids can’t starve and I’m not going to wait 4 hours to have breakfast myself.
The thing is, this is just the tip of the iceberg. He can’t stay employed and oftentimes will switch jobs to avoid paying child support. Sure he’s present for the kids now, but when the going gets tough he pretty much stops putting in effort. I bet if I lived even 20 minutes away from him he wouldn’t see the kids often. He has never ever done much around the house despite me working MULTIPLE jobs at times (at one point I was working 3 and going to school). I work full time for a Fortune 500 company and he can’t even schedule a damn doctors appointment for himself. Any time I try to bring things up he’s dismissive or just denies things. And now he’s also getting more angry and aggressive because child support is being taken out again and he ended up swatting our son so hard our son doubled over…in front of my whole family! This along with Mothers Day has got me just thinking I need to divorce him. He can’t hit our kids like that period. All our son did was throw a damn smore at him! And I have multiple witnesses including my niece, grandfather, brother and SIL. I want to protect our kids. I feel like after that happened if I stay with him I am essentially condoning his behavior. I absolutely confronted him about it and he says he feels bad and should never have done it but he felt justified in that moment. I can’t trust someone like that. And it’s not the first time he’s swatted at our son but this was certainly the worst. So I am ready to leave just for that but then our son would have to be with him unsupervised.
If I am overreacting I want to know. He says I am and constantly says I am. I just need some clarity and maybe just support because if I do this, this is something that once the ball is rolling you can’t really stop it. I’m just afraid…but I think I’m more afraid of what will happen if I stay.

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My (47M) wife (48F) was diagnosed with Stage 3 ovarian cancer. We live in a 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath condo in NYC.
Yesterday I made the executive decision to let my wife have the master bedroom with an en suite bathroom while I moved my belongings to the smaller guest bedroom. Our daughter, who is 19, and only is supposed to stay with us during parts of her summer break, was previously using the guest bathroom as her personal bathroom, but again, this place that we moved in right before she graduated high school is supposed to be more of a hotel for her.
She was not even supposed to be here now, but came because her mother always sounded distressed or under the influence on the phone due to the cancer drugs she has been on. Since her diagnosis, our relationship has gone downhill quickly. It started when I found out a caregiver implied to my wife that women with cancer need to have a backup support system besides their husbands.
I ended up firing that caregiver because she was trying to poison my wife's thoughts. My wife screamed and cried, saying this was the only caregiver she had who didn't seem to be speaking off a robotic script.
My wife's hair has always been something others complimented her on. Our daughter grew up saying she wanted her mom's shiny and thick hair. When my wife stressed about whether her hair always being the same was boring, I was the one who told her hair was beautiful and to not change it. After her diagnosis, my wife and I argued because she wanted to cut her hair before chemo because " it makes things easier." I told her she needed to keep her spirits up and not have this defeatist attitude where she goes chopping off all her beautiful hair at once.
She looked into wigs but wanted a short one for convenience but I really asked her why she didn't want to look like herself and she said it was more lightweight/ less emotional for her that way. I told her to not think like that, and felt she was punishing me by refusing to bring up wigs around me.
Now she's into her chemotherapy and every time I enter our bathroom I see her crying as she brushes her hair and more and more keeps collecting on her brush, in the sink. She then gets upset when I walk away from that situation after she says we are both powerless against cancer.
Then things boil over when she says she should have just cut her hair and then she accused ME of being the reason she didn't, saying she was afraid of my disappointment and hoped if her hair didn't suddenly disappear overnight, I'd get used to the situation.
This is pure projection and I was furious and told her I cannot help her hair loss that she's now putting on me. I felt that if I'm the cause of tears I might as well move into the guest room. I needed my own space and to engage in aspects of normalcy to not go crazy. My daughter has taken over my sink in her mom's room and said she's backing out from an internship and getting a job here for the summer. AITA for exiting an uncomfortable situation full of projection?

Weird incident at Patong beach
I visited Patong beach with my husband. It was such an amazing day and we had lots of fun and got sooo tanned. However, something really weird happened. I got out of the water and was sitting on our towels, just taking random selfies and waiting for my husband to come back from ocean. These 3 Chinese tourists stood in front of me, smiling and waving. It was 2 women and a man. They came to me and said I am so beautiful and if the woman’s husband can take a picture with me. It was really awkward because everyone around me was looking at me and I just said yes to their request. The guy came and sat next to me while the woman asked me where I was from etc. (I am south Asian but live in Australia) The guy then told me his name and that he is from Beijing. I then noticed the second woman was recording this whole thing. My husband was there at this point and I told him what’s going on. They proceeded to ask him if I was a model. I am faaaar from a model. There was a guy behind me with a 6 pack abs and a white girl next to me who could have been a model but she was with someone. Did they target me because I seemed to be alone? Did I look exotic? Was my bikini too revealing as I have been blessed with a generous bosom? I am so worried that I let them take a pic of me with the guy and they recorded the whole thing. They were fully covered on the beach and literally disappeared after this and I didn’t see them at all again. Has this happened to anyone else?
Edit: I’m worried about deep fakes etc. Is that possible to do from the above interaction?

I visited Patong beach with my husband. It was such an amazing day and we had lots of fun and got sooo tanned. However, something really weird happened. I got out of the water and was sitting on our towels, just taking random selfies and waiting for my husband to come back from ocean. These 3 Chinese tourists stood in front of me, smiling and waving. It was 2 women and a man. They came to me and said I am so beautiful and if the woman’s husband can take a picture with me. It was really awkward because everyone around me was looking at me and I just said yes to their request. The guy came and sat next to me while the woman asked me where I was from etc. (I am south Asian but live in Australia) The guy then told me his name and that he is from Beijing. I then noticed the second woman was recording this whole thing. My husband was there at this point and I told him what’s going on. They proceeded to ask him if I was a model. I am faaaar from a model. There was a guy behind me with a 6 pack abs and a white girl next to me who could have been a model but she was with someone. Did they target me because I seemed to be alone? Did I look exotic? Was my bikini too revealing as I have been blessed with a generous bosom? I am so worried that I let them take a pic of me with the guy and they recorded the whole thing. They were fully covered on the beach and literally disappeared after this and I didn’t see them at all again. Has this happened to anyone else?
Edit: I’m worried about deepfakes tbh

I constantly see (especially on tiktok) comments about Yasu like “If only he had hair,” “He needs to grow out his hair,” “He’d look better with hair,” “Yazawa knew that he would be too powerful with hair.”
NO! Leave him alone! He had hair in the past and he looks better bald. Besides, he chooses to be bald as a fashion statement. It gives him character. Leave my glorious bald king alone! He’s beautiful the way he is. He doesn’t need to change anything. He has no problem pulling women in-universe anyway. If you don’t accept him bald then you don’t deserve him at all. Period.

I believe she is gorgeous, but so are many women today and none despite their objective beauty hold a candle to her in terms of popularity. How did her name become synonymous with beauty and why arent women like Margot Robbie, Gald Gadot and etc recognised similarly/ to the same extent?