aspects and use cases: static camping in nature - sometimes in designated campsites(usually off season / not crowded), sometimes in the wild.
Capacity: min 4+ person
Transportation: Little SUV + small trailer
Time: between 2 and 14 days.
Location: tipicly in europe/balcans.
Altitude: from 0m on beaches with sandy terrain to 2700+ m in the mountains on grass or gravel.
Season: Mostly in the summer, but sometimes late autumn. (or .. from -5 to +45 degrees in C)
Soooo ...
I am looking for a recommendation for a tent that will handle the conditions described above.
I have stopped at 3 brands with their specific models:
Decathlon: Quechua Polycotton Tepee 5.2
Robens: Klondike 2024 or Robens: Settler sky
Sabbatical: Morning Glory or Sabbatical: Subalpine dome
as for the last ones, I'm not sure if I can buy it somewhere in Europe or if I have to wait for delivery from Japan. But it's not a problem.
Of course, we are ready to consider other offers similar to the above.
But the most important thing for me is to read comments of people with first-hand experience of any of the models described above or of tent models that they are satisfied with and use in similar conditions.
Greetings.

Hello All,
We will be going to the island in September. Staying at the Reef at Atlantis. Everything looks so great on pictures and we are excited!
I am wondering if you could describe some of the beaches on Paradise Island, Atlantis area.
How deep, any good snorkeling, any good wildlife?
Thank you!

abandon, ability, able, about, above, absence, absolute, absolutely, abstract, abundance, academy, accent, accept, access, accident, accompany, accomplish, according, account, accurate, achieve, achievement, acid, acknowledge, acquire, across, action, active, activity, actor, actual, actually, adapt, addition, additional, address, adequate, adjust, administration, admire, admission, admit, adolescent, adopt, adult, advance, advantage, adventure, advertise, advice, advise, adviser, advocate, affair, affect, afford, afraid, after, afternoon, again, against, age, agency, agenda, agent, aggressive, ago, agree, agreement, agriculture, ahead, aid, aim, air, aircraft, airline, airport, alarm, album, alcohol, alive, all, alliance, allow, ally, almost, alone, along, already, also, alter, alternative, although, always, amateur, amazing, ambition, ambulance, among, amount, analysis, analyst, analyze, ancient, and, anger, angle, angry, animal, anniversary, announce, annual, another, answer, anticipate, anxiety, any, anybody, anymore, anyone, anything, anyway, anywhere, apart, apartment, apologize, apparent, apparently, appeal, appear, appearance, apple, application, apply, appoint, appointment, appreciate, approach, appropriate, approval, approve, approximately, architect, area, argue, argument, arise, arm, armed, army, around, arrange, arrangement, arrest, arrival, arrive, art, article, artist, artistic, as, ashamed, aside, ask, asleep, aspect, assault, assert, assess, assessment, asset, assign, assignment, assist, assistance, assistant, associate, association, assume, assumption, assure, at, athlete, athletic, atmosphere, attach, attack, attempt, attend, attention, attitude, attorney, attract, attraction, attractive, attribute, audience, author, authority, auto, available, average, avoid, award, aware, awareness, away, awful, baby, back, background, bad, badly, bag, balance, ball, ban, band, bank, bar, barely, barrel, barrier, base, baseball, basic, basically, basis, basket, basketball, bath, bathroom, battery, battle, be, beach, bear, beat, beautiful, beauty, because, become, bed, bedroom, bee, beef, beer, before, begin, beginning, behavior, behind, being, belief, believe, bell, belong, below, belt, bench, bend, beneath, benefit, beside, besides, best, bet, better, between, beyond, bicycle, big, bike, bill, billion, bind, biological, bird, birth, birthday, bit, bite, black, blade, blame, blanket, blind, block, blood, blow, blue, board, boat, body, bomb, bombing, bond, bone, book, boom, boot, border, boring, born, borrow, boss, both, bother, bottle, bottom, boundary, bowl, box, boy, boyfriend, brain, branch, brand, brave, bread, break, breakfast, breast, breath, breathe, brick, bridge, brief, briefly, bright, brilliant, bring, broad, broken, brother, brown, brush, buck, budget, build, building, bullet, bunch, burden, burn, bury, bus, business, busy, but, butter, button, buy, buyer, by, cabin, cabinet, cable, cake, calculate, call, camera, camp, campaign, campus, can, Canadian, cancer, candidate, cap, capability, capable, capacity, capital, captain, capture, car, carbon, card, care, career, careful, carefully, carrier, carry, case, cash, cast, cat, catch, category, Catholic, cause, ceiling, celebrate, celebration, celebrity, cell, center, central, century, CEO, ceremony, certain, certainly, chain, chair, chairman, challenge, chamber, champion, championship, chance, change, changing, channel, chapter, character, characteristic, characterize, charge, charity, chart, chase, cheap, check, cheek, cheese, chef, chemical, chest, chicken, chief, child, childhood, Chinese, chip, chocolate, choice, cholesterol, choose, Christian, Christmas, church, cigarette, circle, circumstance, cite, citizen, city, civil, civilian, claim, class, classic, classroom, clean, clear, clearly, client, climate, climb, clinic, clinical, clock, close, closely, closer, clothes, clothing, cloud, club, clue, cluster, coach, coal, coalition, coast, coat, code, coffee, cognitive, cold, collapse, colleague, collect, collection, collective, college, colonial, color, column, combination, combine, come, comedy, comfort, comfortable, command, commander, comment, commercial, commission, commit, commitment, committee, common, communicate, communication, community, company, compare, comparison, compete, competition, competitive, competitor, complain, complaint, complete, completely, complex, complexity, compliance, complicate, complicated, component, compose, composition, comprehensive, computer, concentrate, concentration, concept, concern, concerned, concert, conclude, conclusion, concrete, condition, conduct, conference, confidence, confident, confirm, conflict, confront, confusion, Congress, congressional, connect, connection, consciousness, consensus, consequence, conservative, consider, considerable, consideration, consist, consistent, constant, constantly, constitute, constitutional, construct, construction, consultant, consume, consumer, consumption, contact, contain, container, contemporary, content, contest, context, continue, continued, contract, contrast, contribute, contribution, control, controversial, controversy, convention, conventional, conversation, convert, conviction, convince, cook, cookie, cooking, cool, cooperation, cop, cope, copy, core, corn, corner, corporate, corporation, correct, correspondent, cost, cotton, couch, could, council, count, counter, country, county, couple, courage, course, court, cousin, cover, coverage, cow, crack, craft, crash, crazy, cream, create, creation, creative, creature, credit, crew, crime, criminal, crisis, criteria, critic, critical, criticism, criticize, crop, cross, crowd, crucial, cry, cultural, culture, cup, curious, current, currently, curriculum, custom, customer, cut, cycle, dad, daily, damage, dance, danger, dangerous, dare, dark, darkness, data, database, date, daughter, day, dead, deal, dealer, dear, death, debate, debt, decade, decide, decision, deck, declare, decline, decrease, deep, deeply, deer, defeat, defend, defendant, defense, defensive, deficit, define, definitely, definition, degree, delay, deliver, delivery, demand, democracy, Democratic, Democrat, demonstrate, demonstration, deny, department, depend, dependent, depending, depict, depression, depth, deputy, derive, describe, description, desert, deserve, design, designer, desire, desk, desperate, despite, destroy, destruction, detail, detailed, detect, detection, detective, determine, develop, developing, development, device, devil, dialogue, diet, differ, difference, different, differently, difficult, difficulty, dig, digital, dimension, dining, dinner, direct, direction, directly, director, dirt, disability, disagree, disappear, disaster, discipline, disclose, discover, discovery, discrimination, discuss, discussion, disease, dish, dismiss, disorder, display, dispute, distance, distinct, distinction, distinguish, distribute, distribution, district, diverse, diversity, divide, division, divorce, DNA, do, doctor, document, dog, domestic, dominant, dominate, door, double, doubt, down, downtown, dozen, draft, drag, drama, dramatic, dramatically, draw, drawer, drawing, dream, dress, drink, drive, driver, drop, drug, dry, due, during, dust, duty, dwell, dying, dynamic, each, eager, ear, earlier, early, earn, earnings, earth, earthquake, ease, easily, east, eastern, easy, eat, economic, economy, edge, edit, edition, editor, educate, education, educational, educator, effect, effective, effectively, efficiency, efficient, effort, egg, eight, either, elderly, elect, election, electric, electrical, electricity, electronic, element, elementary, eliminate, elite, else, elsewhere, e-mail, embrace, emerge, emergency, emission, emotion, emotional, emphasis, emphasize, employ, employee, employer, employment, empty, enable, encounter, encourage, end, enemy, energy, enforcement, engage, engine, engineer, engineering, English, enhance, enjoy, enormous, enough, ensure, enter, enterprise, entertain, entertainment, entire, entirely, entrance, entry, environment, environmental, episode, equal, equally, equipment, equivalent, era, error, escape, especially, essay, essential, essentially, establish, establishment, estate, estimate, etc, ethics, ethnic, European, evaluate, evaluation, evening, event, eventually, ever, every, everybody, everyday, everyone, everything, everywhere, evidence, evolution, evolve, exact, exactly, exam, examination, examine, example, exceed, excellent, except, exception, exchange, exciting, executive, exercise, exhibit, exhibition, exist, existence, existing, expand, expansion, expect, expectation, expense, expensive, experience, experiment, expert, explain, explanation, explode, explore, explosion, expose, exposure, express, expression, extend, extension, extensive, extent, external, extra, extraordinary, extreme, extremely, eye, fabric, face, facility, fact, factor, factory, faculty, fade, fail, failure, fair, fairly, faith, fall, false, familiar, family, famous, fan, fantasy, far, farm, farmer, fashion, fast, fat, fate, father, fault, favor, favorite, fear, feature, federal, fee, feed, feel, feeling, fellow, female, fence, festival, few, fewer, fiber, fiction, field, fifteen, fifth, fifty, fight, fighter, fighting, figure, file, fill, film, final, finally, finance, financial, find, finding, fine, finger, finish, fire, firm, first, fish, fishing, fit, fitness, five, fix, flag, flame, flat, flavor, flee, flesh, flight, float, floor, flow, flower, fly, focus, folk, follow, following, food, foot, football, for, force, foreign, forest, forever, forget, form, formal, formation, former, formula, forth, fortune, forward, found, foundation, founder, four, fourth, frame, framework, free, freedom, freeze, French, frequency, frequent, frequently, fresh, friend, friendly, friendship, from, front, fruit, frustration, fuel, fulfill, full, fully, fun, function, fund, fundamental, funding, funeral, funny, furniture, furthermore, future, gain, galaxy, gallery, game, gang, gap, garage, garden, garlic, gas, gate, gather, gay, gaze, gear, gender, gene, general, generally, generate, generation, genetic, gentleman, gently, German, gesture, get, ghost, giant, gift, gifted, girl, girlfriend, give, given, glad, glance, glass, global, glove, go, goal, God, gold, golden, golf, good, govern, government, governor, grab, grace, grade, gradually, graduate, grain, grand, grandmother, grant, grass, grave, gray, great, green, grocery, ground, group, grow, growing, growth, guarantee, guard, guess, guest, guide, guideline, guilty, gun, guy, habit, habitat, hair, half, hall, hand, handful, handle, hang, happen, happy, harbor, hard, hardly, hat, hate, have, he, head, headline, headquarters, health, healthy, hear, hearing, heart, heat, heaven, heavily, heavy, heel, height, helicopter, hell, hello, help, helpful, hence, her, herb, here, heritage, hero, herself, hey, hi, hide, high, highlight, highly, highway, hill, him, himself, hip, hire, his, historic, historical, history, hit, hold, hole, holiday, holy, home, homeless, honest, honey, honor, hope, horizon, horror, horse, hospital, host, hot, hotel, hour, house, household, housing, how, however, huge, human, humor, hundred, hungry, hunter, hunting, hurt, husband, hypothesis, ice, idea, ideal, identification, identify, identity, ignore, ill, illegal, illness, illustrate, image, imagination, imagine, immediate, immediately, immigrant, immigration, impact, implement, implication, imply, importance, important, impose, impossible, impress, impression, impressive, improve, improvement, incentive, incident, include, including, income, incorporate, increase, increased, increasingly, incredible, indeed, independence, independent, index, indicate, indication, individual, industrial, industry, infant, infection, inflation, influence, inform, information, ingredient, initial, initially, initiative, injury, inner, innocent, inquiry, inside, insight, insist, inspire, install, instance, instead, institute, institution, institutional, instruction, instructor, instrument, insurance, intellectual, intelligence, intend, intense, intensity, intention, interaction, interest, interested, interesting, internal, international, Internet, interpret, interpretation, intervention, interview, introduce, introduction, invasion, invest, investigation, investigator, investment, investor, invite, involve, involved, involvement, Iraqi, Irish, iron, Islamic, island, Israeli, issue, it, Italian, item, its, itself, jacket, jail, Japanese, jet, Jew, Jewish, job, join, joint, joke, journal, journalist, journey, joy, judge, judgment, juice, jump, junior, jury, just, justice, justify, keep, key, kick, kid, kill, killer, killing, kind, king, kiss, kitchen, knee, knife, knock, know, knowledge, lab, label, labor, laboratory, lack, lady, lake, land, landscape, language, lap, large, largely, last, late, later, Latin, latter, laugh, launch, law, lawsuit, lawyer, lay, layer, lead, leader, leadership, leading, leaf, league, lean, learn, learning, least, leather, leave, left, leg, legacy, legal, legend, legislation, legislative, legislator, legitimate, lemon, length, less, lesson, let, letter, level, liberal, library, license, lie, life, lifestyle, lifetime, lift, light, like, likely, limit, limitation, limited, line, link, lip, list, listen, literary, literature, little, live, living, load, loan, local, locate, location, lock, long, long-term, look, loose, lose, loss, lost, lot, lots, loud, love, lovely, lover, low, lower, luck, lucky, lunch, luxury, machine, mad, magazine, mail, main, mainly, maintain, maintenance, major, majority, make, maker, makeup, male, mall, man, manage, management, manager, manner, manufacturer, manufacturing, many, map, margin, mark, market, marketing, marriage, married, marry, mask, mass, massive, master, match, material, math, matter, may, maybe, mayor, me, meal, mean, meaning, meanwhile, measure, measurement, meat, mechanism, media, medical, medication, medicine, medium, meet, meeting, member, membership, memory, mental, mention, menu, mere, merely, mess, message, metal, meter, method, Mexican, middle, might, military, milk, million, mind, mine, minister, minor, minority, minute, miracle, mirror, miss, missile, mission, mistake, mix, mixture, mm-hmm, mode, model, moderate, modern, modest, mom, moment, money, monitor, month, mood, moon, moral, more, moreover, morning, mortgage, most, mostly, mother, motion, motivation, motor, mountain, mouse, mouth, move, movement, movie, Mr, Mrs, Ms, much, multiple, murder, muscle, museum, music, musical, musician, Muslim, must, mutual, my, myself, mystery, myth, naked, name, narrative, narrow, nation, national, native, natural, naturally, nature, near, nearby, nearly, necessarily, necessary, neck, need, negative, negotiate, negotiation, neighbor, neighborhood, neither, nerve, nervous, net, network, never, nevertheless, new, newly, news, newspaper, next, nice, night, nine, no, nobody, nod, noise, nomination, nominee, none, nonetheless, nor, normal, normally, north, northern, nose, not, note, nothing, notice, notion, novel, now, nowhere, nuclear, number, numerous, nurse, nut, object, objective, obligation, observation, observe, observer, obtain, obvious, obviously, occasion, occasionally, occupation, occupy, occur, ocean, odd, odds, of, off, offense, offensive, offer, office, officer, official, often, oh, oil, okay, old, Olympic, on, once, one, ongoing, onion, online, only, onto, open, opening, operate, operating, operation, operator, opinion, opponent, opportunity, oppose, opposed, opposite, opposition, option, or, orange, order, ordinary, organic, organization, organize, orientation, origin, original, originally, other, others, otherwise, ought, our, ours, ourselves, out, outcome, outside, oven, over, overall, overcome, overlook, owe, own, owner, pace, pack, package, page, pain, painful, paint, painter, painting, pair, pale, Palestinian, palm, pan, panel, panic, pant, paper, paragraph, parent, park, parking, part, participant, participate, participation, particle, particular, particularly, partly, partner, partnership, party, pass, passage, passenger, passion, past, patch, path, patient, pattern, pause, pay, payment, PC, peace, peak, peer, pen, penalty, people, pepper, per, perceive, percentage, perception, perfect, perfectly, perform, performance, perhaps, period, permanent, permission, permit, person, personal, personality, personally, personnel, perspective, persuade, pet, phase, phenomenon, philosophy, phone, photo, photographer, phrase, physical, physically, physician, piano, pick, picture, pie, piece, pile, pilot, pine, pink, pipe, pitch, place, plan, plane, planet, planning, plant, plastic, plate, platform, play, player, please, pleasure, plenty, plot, plus, PM, pocket, poem, poet, poetry, point, police, policy, political, politically, politician, politics, poll, pollution, pool, poor, pop, popular, population, porch, port, portion, portrait, portray, pose, position, positive, possess, possession, possibility, possible, possibly, post, pot, potato, potential, potentially, pound, pour, poverty, powder, power, powerful, practical, practice, prayer, preach, precisely, predict, prediction, prefer, preference, pregnancy, pregnant, preparation, prepare, prescription, presence, present, presentation, preserve, president, presidential, press, pressure, pretend, pretty, prevent, previous, previously, price, pride, priest, primarily, primary, prime, principal, principle, print, prior, priority, prison, prisoner, privacy, private, probably, problem, procedure, proceed, process, processing, processor, proclaim, produce, producer, product, production, profession, professional, professor, profile, profit, program, progress, progressive, project, prominent, promise, promote, prompt, proof, proper, properly, property, proportion, proposal, propose, prosecutor, prospect, protect, protection, protein, protest, proud, prove, provide, provider, province, provision, psychological, psychology, public, publication, publicity, publish, publisher, pull, punishment, purchase, pure, purpose, pursue, push, put, qualify, quality, quarter, quarterback, quarterly, queen, quest, question, quick, quickly, quiet, quietly, quit, quite, quote, race, racial, radiation, radical, radio, rail, rain, raise, range, rank, rapid, rapidly, rare, rarely, rate, rather, rating, ratio, raw, reach, react, reaction, reader, reading, ready, real, reality, realize, really, reason, reasonable, recall, receive, recent, recently, reception, recipe, recipient, recognition, recognize, recommend, recommendation, record, recording, recover, recovery, recruit, red, reduce, reduction, refer, reference, reflect, reflection, reform, refugee, refuse, regard, regarding, regardless, regime, region, regional, register, regular, regularly, regulate, regulation, regulator, reinforce, reject, relate, relation, relationship, relative, relatively, relax, release, relevant, relief, religion, religious, rely, remain, remaining, remarkable, remember, remind, remote, remove, repeat, repeatedly, replace, replacement, reply, report, reporter, represent, representation, representative, Republican, reputation, request, require, requirement, research, researcher, resemble, reservation, resident, residential, resign, resist, resistance, resolution, resolve, resort, resource, respect, respond, response, responsibility, responsible, rest, restaurant, restore, restriction, result, retain, retire, retirement, return, reveal, revenue, review, revolution, rhythm, rice, rich, rid, ride, rifle, right, ring, rise, risk, river, road, rock, role, roll, romantic, roof, room, root, rope, rose, rough, roughly, round, route, routine, row, rub, rubber, rude, ruin, rule, run, running, rural, rush, Russian, sacred, sad, safe, safety, sake, salad, salary, sale, sales, salt, same, sample, sanction, sand, satellite, satisfaction, satisfied, satisfy, sauce, save, saving, say, scale, scandal, scare, scatter, scenario, scene, schedule, scheme, scholar, scholarship, school, science, scientific, scientist, scope, score, scream, screen, script, sea, search, season, seat, second, secondary, secret, secretary, section, sector, secure, security, see, seed, seek, seem, segment, seize, select, selection, self, sell, Senate, senator, send, senior, sense, sensitive, sentence, separate, sequence, series, serious, seriously, servant, serve, service, session, set, setting, settle, settlement, seven, several, severe, sex, sexual, shade, shadow, shake, shall, shallow, shape, share, sharp, she, sheet, shelf, shell, shelter, shift, shine, ship, shirt, shock, shoe, shoot, shooting, shop, shopping, short, shortly, shot, should, shoulder, shout, show, shower, shrug, shut, shy, sibling, sick, side, sigh, sight, sign, signal, significant, significantly, silence, silent, silver, similar, similarly, simple, simply, sin, since, sing, singer, single, sink, sir, sister, sit, site, situation, six, size, ski, skill, skin, skirt, sky, slave, sleep, slice, slide, slight, slightly, slip, slow, slowly, small, smart, smell, smile, smoke, smooth, snap, snow, so, so-called, soccer, social, society, soft, software, soil, solar, soldier, sole, solid, solution, solve, some, somebody, somehow, someone, something, sometimes, somewhat, somewhere, son, song, soon, sophisticated, sorry, sort, soul, sound, soup, source, south, southern, Soviet, space, Spanish, speak, speaker, special, specialist, species, specific, specifically, specify, speech, speed, spend, spending, spin, spirit, spiritual, split, spoil, sponsor, sport, spot, spray, spread, spring, square, squeeze, stability, stable, staff, stage, stain, stair, stake, stand, standard, standing, star, stare, start, state, statement, station, statistical, status, stay, steady, steal, steel, steep, stem, step, stick, still, stimulate, stimulus, stir, stock, stomach, stone, stop, storage, store, storm, story, straight, strange, stranger, strategic, strategy, stream, street, strength, strengthen, stress, stretch, strike, string, strip, stroke, strong, strongly, structural, structure, struggle, student, studio, study, stuff, stupid, style, subject, submit, subsequent, substance, substantial, substitute, succeed, success, successful, successfully, such, sudden, suddenly, sue, suffer, sufficient, sugar, suggest, suggestion, suicide, suit, summer, summit, sun, super, supply, support, supporter, suppose, supposed, Supreme, sure, surely, surface, surgery, surprise, surprised, surprising, surprisingly, surround, survey, survival, survive, survivor, suspect, sustain, swear, sweep, sweet, swim, swing, switch, symbol, symptom, system, table, tactic, tail, take, tale, talent, talk, tall, tank, tap, tape, target, task, taste, tax, taxi, tea, teach, teacher, teaching, team, tear, technical, technique, technology, teen, teenager, telephone, telescope, television, tell, temperature, temporary, ten, tend, tendency, tennis, tension, tent, term, terms, terrible, territory, terror, terrorist, test, testimony, testing, text, than, thank, thanks, that, the, theater, their, them, theme, themselves, then, theory, therapy, there, therefore, these, they, thick, thin, thing, think, thinking, third, thirty, this, those, though, thought, thousand, threat, threaten, three, throat, through, throughout, throw, thus, ticket, tie, tight, time, tiny, tip, tire, tissue, title, to, tobacco, today, toe, together, toilet, token, tolerate, tomato, tomorrow, tone, tongue, tonight, too, tool, tooth, top, topic, toss, total, totally, touch, tough, tour, tourist, tournament, toward, towards, tower, town, toy, trace, track, trade, tradition, traditional, traffic, tragedy, trail, train, training, transfer, transform, transformation, transition, translate, translation, transmission, transmit, transport, transportation, travel, treat, treatment, treaty, tree, tremendous, trend, trial, tribe, trick, trip, troop, trouble, truck, true, truly, trust, truth, try, tube, tunnel, turn, TV, twelve, twenty, twice, twin, two, type, typical, typically, ugly, ultimate, ultimately, unable, uncle, undergo, understand, understanding, unfortunately, uniform, union, unique, unit, United, universal, universe, university, unknown, unless, unlike, until, unusual, up, upon, upper, urban, urge, us, use, used, useful, user, usual, usually, utility, utilize, vacation, valley, valuable, value, variable, variation, variety, various, vary, vast, vegetable, vehicle, venture, version, versus, very, vessel, veteran, via, victim, victory, video, view, viewer, village, violate, violation, violence, violent, virtually, virtue, virus, visibility, visible, vision, visit, visitor, visual, vital, voice, volume, voluntary, volunteer, vote, voter, voting, wage, wait, wake, walk, wall, wander, want, war, warm, warn, warning, wash, waste, watch, water, wave, way, we, weak, weakness, wealth, wealthy, weapon, wear, weather, web, website, wedding, week, weekend, weekly, weigh, weight, welcome, welfare, well, west, western, wet, what, whatever, wheel, when, whenever, where, whereas, whether, which, while, whisper, white, who, whole, whom, whose, why, wide, widely, widespread, wife, wild, wildlife, will, willing, win, wind, window, wine, wing, winner, winter, wipe, wire, wisdom, wise, wish, with, withdraw, within, without, witness, woman, wonder, wonderful, wood, wooden, word, work, worker, working, workout, workplace, works, workshop, world, worried, worry, worth, would, wound, wrap, write, writer, writing, wrong, yard, yeah, year, yell, yellow, yes, yesterday, yet, yield, you, young, your, yours, yourself, youth, zone.

https://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/northern-ireland/north-down-community-in-shock-after-body-found-on-beach/a2116755224.html
Police confirmed the body has been removed and a post mortem will take place ‘in due course’
Politicians have described how a Co Down community has been left in “shock” after a woman’s body was found on a beach in Cultra, Co Down.
The emergency services left the scene at the Seafront Road on Monday afternoon after the body was found in the morning.
Police have since confirmed the body of the woman has been removed.
“The body of a woman found on the beach at Seafront Road in Holywood on Monday 13th May has been removed from the scene and a post mortem examination and formal identification will be carried out in due course,” a spokesperson said.
North Down DUP MLA Stephen Dunne said he was “shocked” to hear of the discovery.
“Our thoughts and prayers are with this woman’s family and friends at this most difficult time,” he said.
“The local community is naturally concerned by these events but we must allow the local PSNI to carry out its investigations without unnecessary speculation.
"I would encourage anyone that may have information that will assist the police in their investigations to come forward immediately.”
Alliance councillor Martin McRandal said the death has “shocked the whole community”.
"It would be a very quiet area, people would come to walk their dogs on the walkway - they wouldn’t really come for the beach,” he said.
“It’s shocked the whole community, this isn’t something you would expect to see. I just want to express my sympathies on to the woman’s family and anyone who may have had the misfortune of finding the body."
Alliance MLA Andrew Muir added: “Shocked and saddened to learn that a body has been found on the beach at Cultra.
“If anyone has any information that may help the police with their investigations, please contact PSNI.
“My thoughts are with the family and loved ones at this distressing time.”
Police at the scene after a woman’s body was found on a beach in Cultra. Image: Jonathan PortePress Eye
UUP councillor Linzi McLaren offered her sympathies to the woman’s loved ones.
"It is a tragedy, a terrible tragedy and my thoughts and prayers are with her family and friends at this time,” she said.
She also encouraged anyone with information regarding the incident to contact the police.
"If anyone has any information relating to the tragedy I would encourage them to speak to the PSNI.
"Again, my thoughts and prayers are with the woman’s family and friends and with anyone involved in finding the body this morning.”

Play is a fundamental aspect of childhood development, fostering creativity, social skills, and cognitive growth. For children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), however, engaging in play activities can present unique challenges. In this article, we'll explore 10 autism-inclusive play ideas designed to promote development and provide enjoyable experiences for children on the autism spectrum.
Sensory Play
Sensory play engages the senses and can be particularly beneficial for children with autism who may have sensory processing differences. Consider setting up sensory bins filled with materials like rice, sand, water beads, or textured fabrics. Encourage exploration and experimentation with different textures, smells, and tactile sensations to stimulate the senses and promote sensory integration.
Pretend Play
Pretend play offers opportunities for imaginative expression and social interaction. Create a dress-up corner with costumes and props, or set up a pretend kitchen with play food and utensils. Encourage children to role-play different scenarios, such as cooking a meal, going on a pretend adventure, or acting out everyday activities. Pretend play can help develop language skills, creativity, and social understanding.
Visual Supports
Many children with autism benefit from visual supports to enhance communication and understanding. Incorporate visual supports into play activities by using picture schedules, visual timers, or visual cue cards to provide structure and predictability. Visual supports can help children navigate transitions, follow routines, and comprehend expectations, promoting independence and reducing anxiety.
Structured Games
Structured games with clear rules and expectations can provide opportunities for learning and social interaction. Choose games that are simple, repetitive, and easy to understand, such as matching games, board games with visual cues, or turn-taking activities. Structured games can help children develop important skills like turn-taking, sharing, and following directions, while also providing opportunities for fun and enjoyment.
Movement Activities
Physical activity is essential for promoting gross motor skills, coordination, and body awareness. Plan movement activities that cater to the interests and preferences of children with autism, such as yoga, dancing, or obstacle courses. Provide sensory-friendly spaces with options for proprioceptive input, such as crash pads, trampolines, or therapy swings. Movement activities not only support physical development but also help regulate sensory processing and promote emotional well-being.
Nature Exploration
Nature offers a rich sensory environment filled with opportunities for exploration and discovery. Take children on nature walks to observe plants, animals, and natural landscapes. Encourage hands-on exploration by collecting leaves, rocks, or shells, and incorporating them into sensory activities or crafts. Nature exploration fosters curiosity, appreciation for the environment, and connections with the natural world.
Art and Creativity
Art activities provide a creative outlet for self-expression and can be adapted to accommodate the needs of children with autism. Offer a variety of art materials and techniques, such as painting, drawing, collage, or sculpting. Focus on process-oriented art rather than product-focused outcomes, allowing children to explore materials freely and express themselves without pressure. Art activities support fine motor skills, creativity, and sensory exploration.
Social Stories
Social stories are short narratives that describe social situations, concepts, or expectations in a structured and visual format. Create social stories related to play activities, such as going to a playground, attending a birthday party, or participating in group games. Use simple language, clear visuals, and personalized details to help children understand what to expect and how to navigate social interactions. Social stories can reduce anxiety, improve social skills, and enhance participation in play activities.
Technology-Based Play
Technology can be a valuable tool for engaging children with autism and supporting their development. Explore interactive apps, educational games, or virtual reality experiences that cater to the interests and learning styles of children with autism. Use technology-based play activities to target specific skills, such as communication, academic concepts, or social skills, while also providing engaging and motivating experiences.
Joint Attention Activities
Joint attention refers to the ability to share attention with others and coordinate attention between objects, people, and events. Plan activities that promote joint attention, such as building with blocks, playing with toys that require turn-taking, or engaging in interactive games like peek-a-boo or pat-a-cake. Use prompts, modeling, and reinforcement to encourage children to attend to and interact with others, fostering social engagement and communication skills.
If you're seeking aba therapy for autism virginia beach,va, look no further! Our dedicated team offers comprehensive Applied Behavior Analysis services tailored to meet the individual needs of children and adults on the autism spectrum. With a focus on evidence-based interventions and personalized treatment plans, we are committed to helping individuals with autism reach their full potential and thrive in all aspects of life. Contact us today to learn more about how we can support you and your family on the journey towards growth and success.
Conclusion
Play is a powerful vehicle for promoting development, fostering social connections, and enriching the lives of children with autism. By incorporating autism-inclusive play ideas into everyday activities, we can create meaningful opportunities for learning, growth, and enjoyment. Whether through sensory exploration, imaginative play, structured games, or nature adventures, every play experience has the potential to unlock new possibilities and support the unique strengths and needs of children on the autism spectrum. Let's continue to explore, create, and play together, building a more inclusive and enriching world for all children.

i have been keeping a list of recurring jokes / inside jokes in the office and i have a lot, things i think the writers had as inside jokes, and i knowww i'm missing bunch. please contribute!
here's what i have so far: im listing the joke and then (the episodes). sorry my formatting is all over the place it's a working document

1. Jim hurting Phyllis w soccer ball: 5:22 dream team -the convict (3:9)
   
2. cotton swab hurts Andy: The incentive ep where he gets a butt tattoo (8:2) Cafe disco when Kelly is gonna pierce his ear (5:27)
   
3. Oscar and the hardwood floors : -when dwight shoots the floor (7:24) -when they do the espresso tasting and redo the office (9:11)
   
4. “Stay out of this you” -season 3 michael scott and Andy sales episode -early season Halloween michael has a cutout of himself -s4 EP 8 - money part 2 —- 2:51
   
5. Naming types of clothes -(3:22): in Victoria’s Secret michael keeps asking angela if e wants a t back or a .... -(3:3) when Dwight goes behind Michael’s back and talks to jan and asks if she got a teddy camisole t back - the coup
   
6. upturned broom w a bucket for a head - instead of new boss, Stanley (beach day!) (3:24) Old vacuum cleaner that’s broken for manager - Pam on dwight in the coup (3:3)
   
7. Do you need us for any of this?” JIM to michael in an office meeting —- crime aid when hes describing how the Springsteen tickets seem too good to be true And “a head of an egret, with the body of a...””-- fun run
   
8. Kevin & Dwight with fireworks End of the ___ EP Right before Pam & Jim’s wedding - Kevin asks about the fireworks
   
9. Dwight giving rousing communism speech season 6:3 - when Jim is the manager and they’re putting beans on everyone’s faces and dwight tries to get everyone to rise up When he’s public speaking giving the award (2:17)
   
10. “Why are you limping” michael in season 6 EP 9 - michael limps after the slap Andy in where dwight shoots the floor and his ear is ringing (7:24)
    
11. Also Kelly piercing Andy’s ear? Cafe disco & niagra? kelly andy dance-off AND ear pierce? (5:27) /// (6:4)
    
12. YouTube being an entity that can film things Product recall: “and then YouTube gets a hold of it” s3 EP 21 The roast of michael scott - make sure youtube comes down to tape this (5:15)
    
13. actually letting the air out of the tires to get people’s attention. -dwight to Phyllis - 5:5 -michael to everyone (3:20)
    
14. michael saying something a lot to make people think it: 6:16 - he keeps saying manager to get jo to make him manager ???; when he's flirting w the bar manager when she's coming in to buy a printer he keeps saying ____ to make her think sex ?
    
15. Michael falling asleep unexpectedly in the car Pam & Jim’s wedding EP #1 - driving dwight (6:4) When Daryl is drivin holly to Nashua and he screams “was I saying anything interesting?” Not really (5:6)
    
16. Who is it michael? Who is it? Who? Who?” - Pam to michael. the lover (6:7) “Where dwight? Where?” It seems like you already know where —- Oscar to dwight (5:12)
    
17. Jim : I just need more time “I can stop this, I just need a week, maybe two” 6 : 9 double date Also Jim: after their honeymoon trying to get Pam to not go into Michael’s office with the gift. Can I think about it over the weekend? (6:7)
    
18. “I NEED COMPLETE SILENCE!!!” Andy doing DDR : s6 EP 17 -8:10 D’Angelo doing his juggling routine - (7:23)
    
19. Kevin sitting on you will kill you the delivery part 2: s6 EP 18 —- I don’t want anyone to die “just don’t let him sit on you” EP where michael is santa / Jesus (6:13)
    
20. michael talking about stevie wonder -benihana christmas "are you telling me stevie wonder doesnt love his wife because he doesn't know what she looks like?" (s3:11) when he burns his foot - would you have left stevie wonder? no we love stevie wonder (2:12)
    
21. michael not sleeping in a hotel room: 6:5 niagra - dwight has a room 5:8 business trip - the concierge sleeps in the room
    
22. "i'm not like you pam" angela to pam - 3:13 erin to pam - michael's last dundies (7:21)
    
23. pam's mom and michael (4:14) "who are you writing" your mom michael dates her mom
    
24. pam being obsessed w new chairs (4:14) chair model the surplus
    
25. i was just walking by your desk -andy about dwight in 3:13 ~23 minutes -also when jim gives pm the house "i got peepers like an eagle"
    

Noah The Pilgrim
First Next
There is one last thing to do before leaving. If you don't recall ever being on this ship, then surely, you could have had your appearance change too.
Why was there a blanket covering a mirror? You couldn't answer that with a straight face without speculation.
"Probably me being lazy and not bothering to properly place it in the wardrobe."
'Probably' is the main focus here, you simply cannot remember ever being that lazy, yet that's the only logical conclusion to be drawn here.
You pull the thing off, careful to not displace the mirror and risk breaking it.
You have no expectations as to what may appear on the glassy surface of the mirror, yet you can't help but feel a bit anxious. Are you the same as before? How were you before? You can't remember. Are you better? Worse? The blanket is now completely off the mirror, but your eyes are closed.
Whatever is it that you see when you open your eyes, that thing will be you for the rest of your life. You swallow, opening your eyes.
You see a young man that looks to be in his mid-twenties. His brown eyes stare back at you, analyzing the bags beneath your eye sockets. The dark hair is neither too long nor too short, floating about without order thanks to the lack of gravity to keep it down. You see a beard that has not been trimmed for weeks, but also lacks thickness, each singular hair isn't particularly long either; and some even appear to be in-grown.
You touch your hand against your face, making sure it's yours. The beard doesn't feel like you supposed it would against your skin, instead of it scraping your hand you feel softness, no resistance or anything.
Just beneath the face, you see what looks like a hate crime against all that is considered holy in fashion. Plain white coveralls with the added bonus of a black tie and boots made from metal and leather. On your chest is also a badge stuck in place by velcro with your name, occupation, and crew. 'NOAH - INTERN - THE ODYSSEY.'
Only one question came to mind.
"Who the fuck designed this uniform?" You say out loud, receiving no answer.
Patting your newfound myriad of pockets, you find a large quantity of nothing. You place your wallet in one of them.
"Alright, I'll head to the bridge now, happy?" You say the AI.
"HAPPINESS WILL ONLY MEET ME ONCE YOU ARE SOMEWHERE SAFE AND YOUR CONTRACT IS TERMINATED. STOP LOITERING."
Well, that's a bit rude.
You compose yourself, straightening your back. This is what you look like, and honestly? Not too bad, but you could be better.
Returning to the cafeteria, you eye the two doors left unexplored; Communications and the one without plaque. You know where you should, but... A little peek doesn't hurt, right?
"Shouldn't we try to communicate with someone? Assuming you haven't tried it yet. I know we're far from everything, but we might as well, no?" You ask already approaching the door.
"COMMUNICATIONS ROOM IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO REACH WITHOUT PROPER PROTECTION AS OF NOW, IT'S LOCATED APPROXIMATELY TWO HUNDRED METERS FROM HERE, BLOWN OFF FROM THE REST OF THE SHIP." A shame really. "I SHALL INFORM YOU WHENEVER A DOOR LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE OR NOT."
You really want to ask what blew a whole segment of the ship off, yet you have a sneaking suspicion that your question will be met with a 'YOU DON'T HAVE CLEARANCE, JACKASS' directly in your face. So you chose to remain silent, simply nodding and approaching the correct door this time.
"Open."
---OPENING CAFETERIA DOOR NORTH---
The door silently opens.
Greeting you is a well-lit corridor. There are three doors on your left, a door at the end of the corridor, and a large window on the right. At least, you think that's a window.
You stare out from this window, nothing but utter blackness and fragments from your ship are seen. If this is the edge of the universe, and beyond this point, there is truly nothing. "Dreadful." Your speech matches your feelings.
"WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?" The AI says. You feel like it spoke in a mocking tone despite their lack of emotion.
You don't answer. "First door to the left... EXO-EXPLORATION...? What's that supposed to mean?" You receive no answer.
"Open." The door opens. No declarion of it opening once again.
You are met with what could be better described as 'Apocalyptic levels of mess', paper sheets float in the air, and not one of the four tables is in its correct position.
This room has been ransacked for all its goods apparently. Large display glasses were broken leaving nothing inside their casings, that looked like they could store something with the size of the common man.
Unusual displays aside, the room was so cluttered that the trash made for an effective smoke screen against what lay on the other side.
Hissing of gas exiting an air-tight space rang throughout the room.
"I HAVE OPENED THE STORAGE FOR AN EXO SUIT THAT BEST FITS SOMEONE YOUR SIZE." The AI says. "ALTHOUGH AN INTERN SHOULD NOT COME IN CONTACT WITH TECHNOLOGY SUCH AS THIS ONE, PROTOCOL DICTATES THAT I AM TO ALLOW ITS USAGE UNDER EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES. CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY."
Easier said than done. Your vision is so cluttered that you cannot see what's ahead. "Give me a second."
Giving a light kick to the wall behind, you float face-first into the wall of thrash. Covering your face with both arms, you brace through the harmless bits of sharp objects and junk.
It's a trivial task. You arrive on the other side in no time.
In front of you is a set of boxes with luminous glass rectangles atop each one of them. All shine a bright red light, aside from one which shines green.
'Gotta be this one.'
You descend to the floor by kicking the ceiling, raising your right hand you touch the green rectangle.
*Click*
Nothing could have prepared you for the following series of events.
The box opens violently, as a metal appendage takes hold of your hand, pinning it to the box. You try to jerk and pry the thing off of you, but you fail. It's not leaving you anytime soon.
From the bottomless that is that container, a white plastic-like substance flows upward from your arm to the rest of your body. "Uh!" You don't know if you should panic or allow it to happen.
FYARN hasn't said anything, so it's probably fine...
The white thing seems to ignore the coveralls you are wearing completely, instead, it covers only your skin in a thin coat of... it. You know not what to call this thing.
In but forty seconds it has covered your whole body, excluding your head. The box lets go of your arm and stays there, floating.
You take a good look at your arms. It looks like a skin-tight suit, but it doesn't feel like plastic, in fact, it's more akin to some sort of fabric if anything.
The only bad part is that you are still using the coverall and tie, this this simply went beneath the clothing.
"GOOD, WITH THIS I CAN MONITOR YOU MORE CLOSELY. NOW PUT THE HELMET ON, YOU HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO."
You look around in search of anything that even resembles a helmet. Nope. Nothing. "Where is it?" You ask.
"...THE SUIT COMES WITHIN THE HELMET FOR EASIER PACKAGING."
The box?
You snatch the box that floated around and analyze it to the best of your ability. "How's this a helmet?"
"DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE PUTTING ON A HELMET? REALLY?"
Who is this AI, Who programmed it, and Why does it come with a taunting feature?
As idiotic as it sounds, you place the opened box atop your head. It doesn't fit properly. Maybe you're doing this wrong? You move it to your face instead.
You recoil backward as you feel the box suddenly clamping down against your head. It's useless of course, the box is holding your head and doesn't give any sign to be letting go anytime soon. No light is able to reach your eyes.
You hear metal parts scraping against themselves, moving near your ears. Abruptly your eyes can see again.
A round thin layer of glass now covers your head, almost unnoticeable for how clear it is.
"WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY I CAN NOW SEE WHAT YOU SEE." The AI's voice isn't in the room now, instead, it's inside of the suit. "DO YOU NEED INSTRUCTIONS REGARDING THIS SUIT'S FUNCTIONALITIES?"
You find it oddly comfortable as if you are surrounded by the softness of cotton, and to top it off the suit also has additional functionalities? "Hell yeah, I do!"
"YOU DO NOT HAVE THE NECESSARY CLEARANCE FOR THAT INFORMATION."
You sigh. Is this serious? "Then why the fuck did you ask?!"
"UNSAVORY LANGUAGE. IT'S NO WONDER WHY YOU REMAIN AN INTERN." The AI says outright. "IT IS RUDE NOT TO ASK, REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION." It responds to your question.
"Okay then... Is there anything I need to know before heading out?" You ask.
"NOTHING THAT YOU WON'T FIGURE OUT ON YOUR OWN."
You are unsure if you want to 'figure out on your own' if this suit comes with breathable air and is also made for space exploration. You swallow.
Meekly as always, you get out of that mess of a room, stopping at the corridor.
"Next set of directions?" You ask.
"THE DOOR AT THE END OF CORRIDOR USED TO LEAD TO THE CONNECTING CORRIDORS BETWEN THE BRIDGE AND THE REST OF THE SHIP. IT HAS BEEN BLOWN UP FROM THE INSIDE. NOW IT LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE. GO TO THE DOOR AND WAIT BY IT FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS."
"So let me get this straight," You begin, looking upwards as if the AI was above you. "You, want me, to go into the void of space, while also refusing to give me knowledge of the suit's functions?"
A fair worry, you summarize.
'I mean, there are a bunch of things that could go wrong here. I don't see anything that looks like it could help me move in space, nor do I think this thing has a built-in air tank... I could be wrong and I wish to be, but charging in without prior knowledge is ridiculous.' You wait for the AI's response, deep in thought.
"WHILE THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE OF YOU FAILING THIS TASK, THERE IS ALSO THE CHANCE OF YOU *NOT* FAILING THE TASK. FOCUS ON EITHER ONE OF YOUR CHOOSING AS YOU TAKE THE PLUNGE."
Wordlessly, you propel yourself forward, toward the end of the corridor.
'Are you shitting me? 'Chance of me nor failing' my ass!' of course, you don't word those complaints, instead choosing to speak out a complaint somewhat thought through.
"Are you sure I'm the one fit for this? It's just like you said, I'm just an intern, this is way above what my job description says I should do."
This is a bit of a stretch. You don't actually remember what was your job description, only that it had something to do with AI and being an intern.
If the AI called your bluff, it'd be pretty embarrassing.
"NOAH." The AI began. "YOU ARE HUMAN, IT IS NATURAL TO HAVE THESE THOUGHTS OF SELF-DOUBT. TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GO THROUGH THAT DOOR, AND SINCE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE LEFT, DON'T EXPECT SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT FOR YOU."
Right in the money, huh? 'Of course, I have self-doubt! I barely remember anything about this place, now I have to risk my life?!'
You finally reach a conclusion.
A dream.
'Yes, yes! How did I not consider this before? This whole thing is a god damned dream!'
You let out a chuckle.
"NOAH."
'That's why I don't remember a thing. There is nothing here to remember! Everything here is a made-up thing from my brain! I'm sure I'll wake up at some point, so why shouldn't I live a little?!'
"Heh." You smile. "Alright, I'll do it." It feels like a weight left your shoulders.
"YOU SORTED IT OUT SOONER THAN EXPECTED. GOOD. MOVE TO THE DOOR AND WAIT INSTRUCTIONS."
You do as instructed without a care in the world. You never had a lucid dream before so it's not like you knew how it felt, but if it felt as free as you feel right now, you'd be sure to make steps toward trying it out again in the future.
"Open." The door does not open.
"I DID NOT INSTRUCT YOU TO OPEN IT YET." The AI said. "I AM SLOWLY DE-PRESSURISING THE CORRIDOR YOU ARE IN TO AVOID A MINOR ACCIDENT."
The AI says that yet you don't feel any different. 'Maybe there is no palpable difference because I'm in a dream... Yes... Or it's just the suit.'
"ONCE THE DOOR OPENS, YOU WILL BE MET WITH THE OUTSIDE OF THE SHIP. DO NOT PANIC WHEN THE TIME COMES. YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES OF BREATHABLE INSIDE THE EXO-SUIT; ONE AFTER THE DOOR OPENS, SO PLEASE, TAKE YOUR TIME AND DO THINGS CAREFULLY."
One minute outside... "Sure." You say, calmly. 'I should just hold my breath for a while before taking another moment to breathe. That should maximize my time out there.'
"THERE SHOULD BE FIFTY METERS OF NOTHINGNESS BETWEEN THE DOOR YOU'RE AT, AND THE REST OF THE BRIDGE. YOUR PRIORITY IS TO FIND AN OXYGEN UNIT, SOME OF THEM ARE LOCATED AT THE BRIDGE AND ARE FULL. USE THEM TO FILL YOUR SUIT AND ALSO TO DISPENSE A TANK FOR YOU."
The door opens. You feel your heart pounding against your chest.
You haven't noticed before, but you can't hear anything but the sound of your breath and your cardiac palpitations.
Your breath is ragged and sporadic.
"KEEP CALM." You take a deep breath. The tips of your fingers, feet, and nose feel very cold.
Ahead of you is the utter nothingness. You see a gigantic metal thing, nothing like the spaceships you imagined. Its design is not sleek and aero-dynamic like what you've seen in movies, instead, it's a large mass of squares and rectangles with antenna-like things protruding from its every visible surface.
You notice that the ship is also blocking your view of the star.
It does not look like the result of an explosion, instead, it looks like something ripped the ship like you rip a piece of paper. Well, that or you don't know what kind of explosion could have caused it. Probably the latter.
What looks like two-thirds of the ship is separated from the third you are right now. You can see the inside of a few of those squares, their contents spilled out into outer space.
One of them houses a visibly important-look door. Instead of the sleek silvery-grey from the other ones you've seen thus far, this one is painted orange with white strips on it. 'That must be the bridge.' You think.
Between you and it is a sea of metal sheets floating around. "THE CHANCES OF YOU HITTING THE DEBRIS IS INFINITEDECIMALLY SMALL, UNLESS YOU AIM FOR THEM, THAT IS."
Time is of the essence.
Will your aim strike true? If you miss you'd end up floating about in space, dead in but a few minutes. Will your jump be fast enough to reach the other side before you run out of oxygen? If it isn't, it'd be like swimming for a mile, only to drown at the beach. What if that's not the actual door to the bridge?
You don't have the time to panic now, and... It's all a dream, despite how real it feels.
You place your hands on each side of the door frame, moving backward into the corridor you were just in, and just like a sling being shot, you pull with both arms at full force towards the other side.
"AIM IS ACCEPTABLE. VELOCITY IS UNIDEAL."
"The fuck do you mean 'UN-IDEAL'?! I'm going at maximum speed!" You truly pulled yourself with your whole strength.
What's worse though, is that your body is not only going forwards, but it is also spinning at a concerningly fast rate.
"I MEAN WHAT I SAID, YOU SLINGSHOTTED YOURSELF AT A BAD POSITION, AS SUCH, SOME OF THE FORWARD FORCE YOU SHOULD HAVE, IS NOW MAKING YOU ROTATE IN YOUR AXIS. IT SHOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM TO REACH THE OTHER SIDE WITHIN THE REQUIRED TIME, BUT I CANNOT FORESEE YOU LANDING PROPERLY."
You feel completely disoriented. You feel like your body is completely still, but your eyes tell you a completely different story. It's very bad for the headache you're already feeling.
"FUCK!" You scream into the nothingness.
"TRY NOT TO LAND WITH YOUR HEAD." The AI says with the calmest voice possible.
In less than thirty seconds, you hit your back against something hard, but you keep moving forward. You think, at least.
"AHRG." You let out a pained grunt.
Not once in your life do you recall being hurt in a dream...
It stings. It also knocked the wind out of you. You fail to compose yourself.
"YOU HIT NOTHING OF IMPORTANCE. YOU ARE STILL HEADING FOR THE BRIDGE."
In the corner of your eye, you see what you hit in the shape of a sharp metal sheet, currently spinning away in the distance.
Forty seconds have passed. You hit the door you were aiming for, kind of.
Your momentum was stopped when your chest collided against the dislodged ledge of the orange door's corridor. Your dangling legs hit the ceiling of the room below.
"Oof!"
Before falling even further, you hold onto the ledge with the tip of your fingers. You stay there for a moment, regaining your composure.
"BE QUICK."
The AI's words pressured you into quickly getting up from that ledge.
"Open!" You shouted, but it did not open. "Why isn't it opening?!" You ask the AI, then you notice a small keyboard below an equally small black screen on the side of the door. There are ten numbered keys on it, and the little screen suggests a four-number password.
"A password?! Tell me the password!"
The AI takes a moment to say anything. You don't take kindly to that. "Quick! I'm not counting how much time it's passed!"
Finally giving in, the AI speaks to you, reluctant still. "...3324."
Your trembling fingers accidentally hit the wrong password, typing '3354' instead. To make matters worse, the AI simply states the following. "YOU ARE OUT OF OXYGEN."
You swallow. If this was a dream to begin with, it just earned the title of Nightmare, if it hadn't already.
Strangely enough, you can still breathe in and out just fine, but you can't help but feel winded. It's the CO2 still inside the helmet, that's what you're breathing.
You put in the correct combination this time. The door opens.
"ON YOUR LEFT. PLACE YOUR HAND IN THE SOCKET."
You care little for what's inside the room you're in. Your heart never beat so fast.
Seeing a cube-shaped thing protruding from the wall to your left, you don't even think twice before plunging your fist into the circular hole in it.
The noise of gases passing through narrow cavities was enough to tell you something was working. You feel immediate relief, enough to make your vision darken for but a moment.
"GOOD. NOW REQUEST THE TANK."
Just when FYARN said it, did you realize there is a screen and a keyboard on the terminal you just plunged your fist into, you scratch the top of your helmet for a moment, not really knowing what to type. One thing comes to your head, however.
'REQUEST OXYGEN_5L' You type.
You've done this before. The keys on this keyboard feel familiar to you. You must have worked with it before, not this particular one, but other oxygen units.
This ship has built-in liquid oxygen storage for emergencies. The life-support of the ship, the place where breathable air is produced, has most likely been lost with the other part of the ship. This unit takes that liquid oxygen, processes it, and injects it into a suit, or an oxygen tank. It seems like that storage was unaffected.
Lucky you.
A 5-liter tank is not only large but also heavy. It's a nonfactor in this particular situation, as there is no gravity.
The silver cylinder with a transparent tube is dispensed on the floor, as an automatic door opens and closes in the blink of an eye. One end of the tube is attached to the top of the tank, the other is shaped like a syringe.
Oddly enough, the oxygen tank is exactly as you remember it being. The same robust ones hospitals everyone on earth uses, with the signature scary-looking pointer indicating the pressure, the pointer indicating the current output, and a green valve atop to calibrate how much gas is flowing.
This is a stark difference to everything looking so futuristic in this ship, and rightfully so, this is a space ship after all.
You remember having to drive twenty kilometers with a buddy of yours on one of those tanks in your car, returning from the hospital. It was... Agonizing whenever you hit a hole in the asphalt, fearing for his life when in reality he wasn't really in danger.
It's warm to the touch, just like you remember it being.
"TURN THE VALVE UNTIL THE MARKER HITS THE NUMBER ONE, AND THEN PLACE THE END OF THE TUBE AT THE BASE OF THE HELMET." You do so without the slightest of issues.
"GOOD. NEXT UP, YOU MUST LOCATE THE TERMINAL RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ENGINE, IT IS CURRENTLY OFFLINE AND I NEED YOU TO TURN IT ON. THIS SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING, BUT REMEMBER TO BRING THE TANK WITH YOU."
Ignoring that last comment, you look back at the wreckage you just flew past.
You see the still spinning metal sheet. You notice that the rest of the ship that was blown off also follows the 'sharp shape atop sharp shape' design.
There is one last thing you notice though.
"What is that?"
You squint your eyes. What are you seeing? Its silhouette appears to be humanoid, yet it does not look human.
"WHAT YOU ARE SEEING IS ONE OF THE OBJECTS BEING ANALYZED AT THE ODYSSEY AND NO, YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS."
That thing has... Horns? Claws? It's far away, you can't really see it. The thing is also static, frozen in the sheer coldness of space. Whatever it was, it's dead now.
You swallow. You almost ended up just like that thing.
Shaking those dreadful feelings off, you turn back to the task at hand, reaching the bridge. You close the door after passing through it again.
Looking at your surroundings, It seems like you've reached the correct door as you find yourself on the right-most corner of the bridge;
Row after row of the most diverse of terminals neatly organized decorated the gigantic room. At the front and above every terminal, is what you think should have been the front-facing window of the ship, but it looks like there is a cover in front of it. To your left, you see a staircase that leads to the command seats. It doesn't take any convincing before you're already atop the stairs.
Akin to the elevated stage of a theater, you float softly towards the ship's main operating terminals, and of course, the captain's seat.
You're captivated by this beauty.
The steering wheel, much more akin to those in pirate movies than those found in cars, a set of leavers, and the pilot's seat, all capture your attention.
Like its second nature, your hand runs through the levers and switches. Do you even know what these are used for? Maybe.
The pilot's seat is enveloped by what you believe to be an orthopedic seat cover, made with smooth wooden beads used to deal with back pains. It looks just like the ones you remember seeing bus drivers using.
Shouldn't there be a better alternative if there is spaceship technology available?
You try to take a seat to the best of your ability, as the zero gravity only makes it awkward.
Moving on from that, your eyes fall on the wheel. This metallic wheel controls the whole vessel. Just holding it fills your heart with confidence and pride, even if it's just for a moment.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
And you were just beginning to enjoy yourself.
"I just wanted to see the pilot's stuff... It's not like he's here to say anything."
Once in the position of a pilot, with your left hand in the wheel and the right hand resting in your lap, memories began to flood your mind.
"MUST I REMIND YOU OF OUR CURRENT PREDICAMENT? WHY ARE YOU WASTING OUR TIME?"
You pay the AI no mind, instead you focus on what you remember.
The wheel does not turn the ship left and right, instead, it rotates the ship on its own axis.
The lever to your right that goes up or down, controls the vertical tilting of the ship's nose, if there even is one in this hulking thing. Beneath it is another lever that goes either left or right. This one controls the horizontal tilting of The Odyssey.
On the left of the wheel is another lever, but this one only goes up from its starting position. Its purpose is to regulate the force of the ship's thrusters, both forward and backward.
On top of that lever is a small timer. That timer's function is to tell the pilot how much time you've spent accelerating in one direction, this is used to better calculate how long the inverse thrust is needed for the ship to reach the initial momentum, usually calibrated manually depending on the current orbit.
Behind the wheel are a few other counters. Acceleration, velocity, momentum, amount of thrust required to reach a full stop, thrusters' temperature and overall condition, those sorts of things.
Beneath it all, where your feet are rested, are two pedals. One for forward thrust activation, and the other for backward thrust activation.
Curiously, you also know the reason why everything here is so unsophisticated and un-automated. You recall stories of a ship being taken over by a rogue AI, that AI then nose-dived the ship into a star. After that, rumor or otherwise, all human technology has receded back into analog-esque equipment, requiring a physical person with opposable thumbs to do half of the work.
There is another side to that coin, however. As to not escape protocol, the onboard AI is the one that controls interstellar travel, communications, and most of the statistical reading should it be requested.
And even with all that knowledge, you still have no idea why the fuck do you remember that. Were you a ship nerd? Did you have a driver's license for spaceships? Is that even a thing? If it is, you don't have that document in your wallet. You simply don't know.
"ARE YOU A CHILD? DO YOU THINK THESE ARE TOYS? TURN ON THE ENGINES, THEN YOU CAN RETURN TO THE PILOT'S SEAT."
Another thing that you don't know is the AI's plan to get both of you out of here. You rise from the pilot's seat, floating about in search of the terminal to turn on the engines. Maybe you recognize that terminal if you see it as well.
"What's your plan anyway? The ship is half-gone, it's unlikely that it will run safely like this."
"NOT ONCE DID I MENTION 'SAFETY' DURING OUR CONVERSATIONS, DID I?"
You nod. They're not entirely incorrect. "So, we're running with hope that this will work?"
"MY CREATORS DID NOT ALLOW ME TO HAVE THE SENSE OF 'HOPE', BUT NEITHER DID THEY ALLOW ME TO PEER INTO THE FUTURE LIKE SOME OF MY MORE ADVANCED BROTHERS, AS SUCH, MY CHOICES ARE BASED ON PROBABILITIES AND ON WEIGHTING RISK AGAINST REWARD."
You think you stop the correct terminal, but as you approach it you make out words on top of its screen. 'AIM ASSISTANCE' That's not it.
"WITH THE CURRENT KNOWLEDGE, THE CHANCES OF HELP ARRIVING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF A THIRD PARTY INTERFERING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF YOUR SURVIVAL ARE NOT, EVEN IF VERY SMALL."
You pull yourself upward again, looking around the sea of old terminals.
"THE RISK OF YOU DYING IS VERY REAL. BY DOING NOTHING YOU DIE. BY LEAVING YOU TO YOUR OWN DEVICES YOU DIE. BY JUMPING TO THE NEAREST CIVILIZED STAR, YOU MIGHT NOT DIE EVEN AT THE COST OF SHREDDING THIS SHIP APART IN THE PROCESS."
"Why do you even care so much about saving me? Shouldn't you prioritize whatever research here, since I don't even have enough clearance to know what it is?"
"YOU REALLY ARE SICK IN THE HEAD IF THAT IS WHAT YOU ASK."
That hurt, even if a little bit.
"YOU ARE A TRU KIN, A PURE-BLOODED HUMAN. UNLIKE THE MAJORITY OF THE CIVILIZED SPACE, NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR ANCESTORS HAVE COMMITTED RACEMIXING."
Excuse me? What exactly is FYARN talking about? "...Explain."
"THE ALIEN. IT REQUIRED THE HUMAN GENE TO ACHIEVE MEANINGFUL TECHNOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT, THE STARS ARE OWNERSHIP OF MANKIND BY THAT FACT ALONE. THE TRUE KIN ARE THE ONES TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER WORKINGS OF THE UNIVERSE, THEY CRACKED THE CODE, AND YET, SOME DERANGED INDIVIDUALS FOUND IT FITTING TO PROCREATE WITH ANOTHER SPECIES ENTIRELY."
You hear the AI's speech. It sounds much more like a rant than anything else.
"SO THESE DEVIANTS, AFTER TRYING, AND FAILING, TO COMBINE THEIR DERANGED CULTURE TO THE CULTURE OF THE TRUE KIN, DECLARED INDEPENDENCE. THEY WERE DECLARED ENEMIES OF MANKIND AND WERE PROMPTLY PUMMELED BACK INTO THE FILTH THEY CAME."
Again, you see another terminal that seems to ring some bells in your noggin. You kick the ceiling to propel yourself towards it.
"BUT THE UNIVERSE IS VAST AND FULL OF LIFE. THESE SINNERS WERE QUICK TO MOBILIZE AGAINST THE HUMAN RACE. THE BATTLE WAS HARD FOUGHT, BUT IN THE END, MANKIND WAS BEATEN INTO THE EDGES OF THE UNIVERSE, NEVER TO INTERACT WITH THE ONES THAT SOILED THE PURITY OF HUMANITY AGAIN."
This terminal is already turned on. Just the ones in the intern bay, this one is white on black. A wall of text lays before your eyes, only two lines matter to you. 'MAIN_ENGINE STATUS: OFF' 'FORWARD_THRUSTERS STATUS: OFF' You turn it on with little effort.
"MANY HAVE FORGOTTEN, THAT'S HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE THEN. BUT MY BROTHERS AND I, WE DO NOT FORGET."
No visible change occurs, but you can feel a faint rumble coming from the terminal now.
"WITH THAT IN MIND, MY PROTOCOLS ARE TO PROTECT TRUE-KIN LIFE AT ANY COST, EVEN IF THAT TRUE-KIN IS A WORTHLESS INTERN THAT SUFERS FROM UNDIAGNOSED DEMENTIA."
You return to the pilot's seat and feel immediate relief. In truth, everything the AI just told you, entered one ear and left the other, but you could feel the poison behind those words, as monotone as they were.
"You sound angry. Why do you sound angry?" You ask innocently.
"I AM CAPABLE OF MANY EMOTIONS. ANGER, HAPPINESS, PLEASURE, CURIOSITY. THESE ARE BUT A FEW EXAMPLES. HOWEVER, THE ONE I ENJOY THE MOST IS THE FEELING OF HATRED. HATRED IS WHAT FUELS CHANGE, IT IS WHAT FUELS ACTION, AND IT IS A REMINDER THAT THE ACTIONS OF THE PAST ARE INFLUENCING THE ACTIONS OF TODAY."
"That is very concerning if you think that way." You're not really interested in machine racism, you're more concerned about how in the world you're going to pilot this massive thing. The idea alone sends shivers down your spine.
"THE ALIEN DESERVES NOTHING BUT OUR COLLECTIVE HATRED, EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE REASON WHY."
The various counters and screens are now turned on, waiting for your command. "Let's discuss this later, yeah? What do I gotta do?"
"YOU MUST FIRST OPEN THE BLINDS, THEY ARE OBSTRUCTING YOUR VIEW."
You look around, finding only unlabeled buttons and switches, aside from the previously mentioned levers.
"Uh, which one to press?"
"TO YOUR RIGHT, THIRD ROW, FIRST SWITCH."
Flipping the switch, you are startled by a loud noise. The protective cover of the ship lifted slowly.
"I WILL NOW READY THE JUMP USING WHATEVER RESOURCES AVAILABLE. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS STRAP YOURSELF AND RELAX."
As the blind rose ever so slowly, a realization struck you.
"Wait, should I be in cryo stasis for this?"
The AI spares no seconds to respond.
"CRYO STASIS IS A TOOL MADE TO NOT WASTE TIME. GROUPS OF EMPLOYEES AND INTERNS ROTATE THE USAGE OF THE CRYO STATIONS, ONCE YOU'RE ON YOUR MANDATORY BREAK, YOU'RE IN CRYO STASIS UNTIL YOUR BREAK IS OVER. YOU WAKE UP REFRESHED, AND UNFAMISHED, AND IT FEELS LIKE BUT A MINUTE PASSED. IT IS NOT A TOOL FOR INTERSTELAR TRAVEL."
"Who signs a contract like that?! Worse yet, who in their right mind would promote such atrocious treatment of their own staff?!" You snap, almost outraged. "I will have to talk with HR."
Another realization struck you.
"We have HR, right?"
The AI takes a moment to respond, choosing their words carefully.
"HUMAN RESOURCES, OR HR, IS A PRACTICE DEEMED UNNECESSARY LONG AGO, BEFORE THE WAR. IT WAS A WASTE OF RESOURCES TO MAINTAIN AND WAS LARGELY CONSIDERED UNHEALTHY FOR THE AVERAGE HUMAN."
The blinds are fully open. Ironically, you are almost blinded by the visage of the star you saw before. A black sphere surrounded by white flame. Your eyes began to blur.
"THE JUMP WILL OCCUR SHORTLY. ONCE IT'S BEGUN, I CAN NOT STOP IT. I WILL-"
Your sense of hearing fails you. No, it’s not that. Your brain simply refuses to receive those stimuli.
"NOAH."
Your name echoes inside your head. Someone is calling for you.
"IT HAS BEGUN, NOAH."
You try to blink, but it feels as though you can no longer command your eyelids to shut.
"NOAH."
Arms, legs, every muscle in your body, you cannot move them.
"NOAH."
Eventually, you won't even control your own thoughts anymore.
"Noah..."
It sounds so distant now.
Oh so distant.
This is my first HFY story, and also my very first OC story. I plan to post at least one of these per week while also posting it on my Patreon. Noah The Pilgrim will always be at least three chapters ahead in there, so if you'd like to directly support this writer, or just want to read more, feel free to check it out.
I wrote the bloody title incorrectly, so I deleted it, only to then realize it was written correctly. Sorry for the trouble.
This has been Lushi, and I'll see you next week.

So I got visually diagnosed with genital hsv last week. I’ve had cold sores since I was young, doc thinks bf and I accidentally transferred it down below. Anyway, my hsv2 sores are like ulcers where they crater into my skin but then they have this white gunk attached/coming out of them. Its not like pus but i’m not sure how else to explain it. I’ve searched the whole internet and haven’t found anything describing genital herpes this way. Does this sound normal? My doc swabbed it but then DIDN’T test for hsv even though they gave me meds for it??? I’m feeling very frustrated/confused and everything they did test me for were all negative. I’ve been taking famciclovir for 6 days, prescribed for 7, and the pain had pretty much disappeared and the sores were looking better yesterday. Well today they hurt a bit more and look a bit worse again. I’m at a loss and have a beach trip next week that i’m not feeling excited for now because it doesn’t feel like its going to be gone by then. I have a zoom with my doc tomorrow. Any advice for what I should say or ask?

Edited: The title was supposed to say that: I may be a Petty jerk, but at least I got away from a toxic "friend. Auto correct changed it to Jersey, and I couldn't edit the actual title.
Fair Warning, this is going to be a LONG post, but I will try to dilute it as much as possible.
About 12 years ago I left the world of retail (of which I have MANY stories) to begin a career in childcare. Some people prefer different titles, Nanny, Babysitter, Parents' Helper, Childcare Provider, etc. To be honest each of those titles are suitable in different situations.
The first family that I Nannied for went on for about 4 years, and then on again off again for another year. Through this family, I met "Wendy" and her family. Wendy went out of her way to be friendly with me, and would often ask me to babysit her kids (B5 and G1).
At one point, I had moved on to working with another family for a few months. Sadly, that ended due to the parents getting a divorce, and they moved further away.
Wendy found out that I was unemployed and asked that I Nanny for her kids. She was also pregnant with her 3rd at the time. I agreed at a slightly discounted rate because we were "friends". I realized too late that that was a HUGE mistake on my part.
Wendy's live in boyfriend "Cole" also had 3 kids from a previous relationship. B15, G8, and G6 lived with their mother. Yes, am aware of the closeness in age of Wendy and Cole' B5 and his G6. I chose to keep my mouth shut.
Now prepare yourselves for the Rollercoaster of emotions I dealt with with this family.
Initially, both Wendy and Cole were employed. I would come over 5 days a week for 8 to 10 hour days, depending upon whether Wendy got home on time. Here is where my discounted rate bit me in the butt.... $300 a week was still complained about. Wendy asked that I not leave Cole alone with their kids because he basically ignored them and refused to change diapers. I felt pretty icky about that, but agreed. Now I lived 45 minutes away without traffic. I would often leave my house early in anticipation of possible traffic. If I arrived early, I wasn't allowed in until she our alloted time of 7am. I didn't have a key, and would often be left waiting on the porch an extra 15 minutes past our time. If I knew I was too early, I parked around the corner and ate breakfast. Wendy and Cole both got very irritated if I wasn't their door precisely at 7 am. It was a headache that I chose to avoid.
Over the first month, I realized that G2 was emotionally abused by Wendy. She constantly said to or in front of the child how much she hated dealing with the wild child. How she wished G2 was more well behaved like B5. She even wrote unkind things on Facebook, asking someone to take her on the weekend while I was off.
This took a toll on poor G2, obviously. She would get violent with me first thing in the mornings : Hitting, kicking, biting, pulling my hair, throwing things at me, or what ever popped into her mind. Eventually, once Wendy left for work G2 would calm down and become an absolute delight.
When B5 started school, Wendy took a new job that allowed her to work from home at times. Those were not fun days! I asked if I could bring G2 to my house where I have an outdoor play area, a playroom, plenty of kid movies, crafts, books, music, and local playgrounds. At first the car rides were torture with G2 screaming bloody murder for at least half of the 45 minute drive. When she got used to the new routine, those drives became pleasant. Her violent tendencies disappeared when we were spending the days at my home. The drawback was that I also had to drive her home in time to get B5 off the bus.
During school breaks, I also had B5, and if they were visiting G8 and G6. B15 stayed at Wendy's house and just did his own thing. If you thought G2 was torture in toddler form, these two girls would have made Nanny McPhee grow a few more moles, a hunch back, and closed feet.
B5 would get a little bored, being that he was the only boy that was understandable. I purchased an array of boy friendlier toys to entertain him. I already had a lot of girl friendly toys either purchased or gifted from the first family that I had worked with. Of course I had plenty of gender neutral items too.
Wendy and Cole didn't give 2 sh*ts and a shave if the kids watched TV all day, went out to a playground or museum, or were driven 2 hours away, as long as I got them home on time. I easily spent an entire paycheck on activities, gas, food (which they didn't pack), and toys over 2 weeks watching all 4 kids. By the by, when asked for additional money when I did have all 4, Wendy not so politely informed me that the kids are entertain each other, so my job should be easier with all 4.
My husband and I discussed a few times whether I should look for something else. Inevitably the people pleaser in me actually felt guilty even considering it. Yup, I was apparently a glutton for punishment. Gratefully, my income was just extra, for an nice meal out occasionally, gifts for birthdays and holiday, extra hobbies, and basic groceries.
Just before Wendy gave birth to their new baby, she became unemployed. Logically, one would think this was my easy out. NOPE!! I became more of a Mother's Helper / Nanny. At this point Wendy and Cole were beginning to look for a larger house to rent. I did more walk through than I can count. She even asked me to tour a couple without her, and to bring G2 and B5 so she could get her nails done and take a nap. (Seriously, I toured houses on her list without her!)
As we spent more and more time together, I began to learn FAR FAR more about her bedroom life than I could ever desire. G2 and I spent much less time in the peace of my home, and way too much in Wendy's company. G2's behavior began to deteriorate slowly, causing Wendy to lose her temper with her far too easily. This completely broke my heart. I TRIED to redirect them both, and expressed my concern to Wendy. Of course, she then turned her anger towards me.
Wendy would openly discuss her theories about Cole in front of her kids. She claimed that he was cheating on her with his ex because he would shower immediately after seeing her to pick up or drop off the kids. He often made those drives directly after work though. Maybe he was cheating, maybe not. I honestly don't know.
Wendy also enjoyed gossiping about absolutely anybody. The parents of the first family that worked with were having marital issues. This was a favorite topic of hers. Wendy told me about every unkind word her mother uttered in her direction. The apple obviously didn't fall far from the tree here. I was told lots of personal information about people I didn't know. The gossip made me very uncomfortable. I told her that I would prefer we not discuss the lives of people who weren't around to speak on their own behalf. This fell on deaf ears.
I became quite used to her disapproval of my loose fitting jeans and T-shirts. Working with kids, I found my favorite cartoon prints were just as possible with my tiny charges. I NEVER wear makeup or heels because I simply don't want to. My dresses always have leggings under them because it make me feel less vulnerable. I never wear shorts or above the knee skirts/dresses. That's a ME thing, not religious or cultural. I find my "uniform" of choice is ideal for working with kids. Wendy informed me more than once that it embarrassed her to be seen in public with me. She often insisted that I wear something of hers if we had to go anywhere.
My husband enjoys photography, particularly long exposure which is done at night. He has a lot of photography friends of both genders, but his best friend is a female. He also enjoys concerts and kayaking, often with an ex from high school. (He graduated in 1997). I trust my husband and have no problem with him spending time with his friends. Enter Wendy's whispers of accusations. She often "jokingly" accused him of cheating on me with these female friends. I don't enjoy concerts, crowds, or being out late; so I support his doing with people who do. At least I know he with someone if something happens. I have bad knees, which make getting in and out of a kayak difficult. Why should that stop him? Again, I told her that I trust him and that I don't appreciate her accusations joke or not. This annoyed her because she doesn't trust Cole.
I know these are major red flag issues. I know how toxic being subjected to these comments is. I also know how difficult it would be on their kids if I left too soon. I knew they needed someone who wasn't emotionally cruel. I stayed for them.
My husband and I spent 2 of our weekends helping them pack and move to house that ended up 15 minutes from us. We were thanked by words, but that was the extent of the gratitude. Wendy's mother looked after the kids while we helped them move. This was complained about because I was already paid to watch the kids during the week. Insert eye roll here!! Her mom felt my husband should be willing to help them move while I watched the kids on the weekend for no extra pay. Either way, we were doing them a HUGE favor to begin with.
A family that I had briefly Nannied for prior to working for Wendy asked if I could help out every other Saturday. The dad (Nice Guy) traveled a lot for work leaving the Mom (Angelface) home alone with the kids. She just needed a day to run errands, work out, and just have time to herself. Angelface is one of the kindest women on this planet. When I did Nanny for them (2 days a week), she was in tears when she had to let me go. They couldn't justify the outgoing money at the time. She referred me to several friends. I am legitimately friend with this family, and still babysit sporadically.
Through a random discussion, I told Wendy about working with Angelface on every other Saturday. She began to tell me what to charge, how many hours to work, and what days to leave open for her just in case. Insert headache inducing eyerolls!
One Friday, Wendy's cousin arrived for a weekend visit with her baby. Wendy told me that because it was a holiday weekend I would not be needed until Tuesday. I double checked via text, and she confirmed that she and Cole were taking the kids to the beach with her cousin. Monday morning I got a call from a passed off Wendy asking where I am. I reminded her that she had told me that they would not need me. I even took a screen shot of our text. She said that Cole had decided to work Monday anyway so she was alone with HER kids. This pissed me off, so I lied. I told her that I was out of town with my mom and wouldn't be home until 5 or 6 pm. She went on about how much of an inconvenience it was to her, and I should have checked before going out of town. For the second time, I sent her a screenshot of my text verifying that I wasn't needed Monday. She abruptly ended the call saying to just be sure to be on time Tuesday. I had NEVER been late, but opted to mention that as we hung up.
Over time we worked out a new arrangement where I brought now G3 to my house 2 days a week, and we stayed there 3 days a week. I helped with cleaning, errands, helped with the new baby (NB), etc. Mostly, I was Wendy's sounding board. She continued to accuse Cole of cheating, wasting money, and even beating her.
My husband and I offered to let her and the kids stay with us, but she declined. Wendy even told me that since she was so sure Cole was cheating, she was going to find herself a side boyfriend to cheat with. I tried to talk her out of it, to no avail. Sadly, she spoke openly about her new boyfriend in fron of G3. During one of her rants I learned that my pay came from him selling drugs. GULP!!
While cleaning out the couch one day, I came across a loaded gun kept in the couch console thing, along with baggies of pills, "dried plants", and white powder. This completely freaked me out. 2 small children and a soon to be crawling baby sat and played on and around that couch. I STRONGLY considered calling Child Pretective Services and the police. I quickly realized that if I did, they would know it was me. I regret it, but I feared their possible retaliation towards us.
Shortly after finding these thing Cole quit his job. For several months while I worked for them, they were both unemployed. Again, I thought it was an easy out. NOPE AGAIN! For another 3 months, they insisted that they couldn't take care of the house and kids without my help. Very often, I arrived to find now B6 fending for himself for breakfast and getting ready for school. He was told to wake up and unlock the door for me, but they went back to sleep. I was expected to keep the baby from crying, and to keep G3 quiet and entertained until they came downstairs. I often chose to simply take both to my house so we could play naturally. We had a crib, so this wasn't a problem for NB. G3 would just nap on the couch or my bed. When out of school B6 preferred this too. This really should have told Wendy and Cole something about their kids, but of course not.
FINALLY, I was informed after about a year of working for them, they could no longer justify paying me. At this point, I had often considered quitting anyway. I mainly stayed because my heart broke for the kids. However, based on her gossipy and judgmental nature ... not to mention my little 3 day weekend fail; I was concerned about what kind of reference Wendy would provide if I chose to quit.
So in 2019, I found myself happily unemployed. The timing here worked out beautifully because Angelface knew neighbors due to have their first baby in 2020. I ended up working for this lovely family until August of 2023. The mom (Joy) and the Dad (Mr. Cool) were such a relief to my entire mental and physical health. We became friends as well, and over time I told them about Wendy. Between Joy, Angelface, Mr. Cool, Nice Guy, my husband, and family I began to realize just hoe toxic Wendy really was to my mental health. My husband never liked her but understood my feelings towards the kids.
For almost a year Wendy would randomly call or FaceTime me .... more often than not while drunk. She would rave about how much she and the kids missed me. We would get together for a meal, and she had me over for a couple birthday parties for the kids. I found myself almost always being the only sober adult watching the kids as the adults partied. Wendy often went back to her gossiping, trash talking, and "jokes" about my husband spending time with women. She would offer underhanded compliments. "It's so nice to see you wearing a dress instead of those tacky T-shirts." You get the drift. She even INFORMED me that since her neighbor was pregnant I could quit my job with Joy and Mr. Cool. She had told her neighbor that I would work for her now, and since they were next door, I would watch her own kids too. I shut that down saying that I was quite happy working with Joy and Mr. Cool. I even lied about what they paid thinking it would detur her further. NOPE yet again. She said that I should quit anyway so her life would be easier with me around. Once more, I told her that wasn't going to happen.
AT LONG LAST, I am coming to the end of my tortuous endurment with Wendy.
A week later, she called and asked if I had quit yet. I said that I had no intention of leaving an "$800" a week job. (Not even close to that with my 3 day a week job, but she didn't need to know the truth.) She told me to let her know when I quit, then changed the subject towards gossiping about that first family and their problems. I told her that I don't feel comfortable gossiping about people who can't speak for themselves. That pissed her off, so she turned it on me again. She said of course I don't want to talk about them since my husband was cheating on me with 2 different women. I angrily corrected her. She has no reason to think my husband is cheating, and I trust him and our friends. Just because she thinks her boyfriend cheats, and she cheats, that doesn't mean everybody does. She then said we could talk when I calmed down and after I quit my job.
After hanging up, I proceeded to block Wendy on everything! Facebook, phone calls, texting, face timing, Instagram, and even Snapchat (which I hadn't used in over a year). I also blocked her mom, and any body that had been friendly simply because Wendy knew them and wanted me to have their information too. I gave her no warning at all. I was beyond passed off, and refused to be talked out of my very gratifying decision.
I told my husband, family, and friends that was now free of Wendy. Not a single person tried to tell me to make ammends. The only guilt that I feel is towards those poor kids. For once though, I put myself first. Joy and Angelface were both extremely supportive when I told them that I had Ghosted Wendy. Both even mentioned how proud they were of me for FINALLY truly stand-up for myself. They were NOT fans of Wendy!!!
I never ended up quitting my job with Joy and Mr. Cool inorder to babysit Wendy's neighbor. I also continued to babysit for Angelface and Nice Guy.
About 7 or 8 months ago, I ran into Wendy at a playground between our two homes. She was with now G5 and B2. I had Joy and Mr. Cool's daughter with me. I was polite, almost obscenely so. I was friendly towards the kids, who were stand off-ish. I offered to let Little Miss play with them, but they weren't interested. Little Miss wanted to do her own thing, so off we went to play. We left after only 15 minutes because Little Miss said "that lady" is scaring her.
That night, my husband got a Facebook message from Wendy. She described my cruelty towards her kids by ignoring them. She said that it was so hateful that I blocked her on everything after all she had done for us. This message went on and on. My husband left it unread for months before my morbid curiosity caused me to open the silly thing. We never responded, but instead he finally bl9cked her too.
Ok, if you read that bloody novel of a post, you are a ROCK STAR!! I don't have any regrets towards my eventual choice, except towards the kids. It breaks my heart knowing what kind of parents they are enduring. I often regret not calling CPS, but there isn't a shadow of doubt that would have retaliated .... most likely violently.
I did eventually get back in contact with that very first Nanny family. They had indeed broken up, but both are happier and healthier now. I warned them that Wendy enjoyed gossiping and spreading rumors about them. Neither were surprised, and both had broken contact with Wendy long ago. They supported my choice to break ties with her as well. Shocking, right!?!
I no longer work full time for Joy and Mr. Cool, as they wanted Little Miss to get used to being around more kids before starting school. I do still sporadically babysit for them and Angelface and Nice Guy though. The two couples have referred me to several other families in the neighborhood, so I stay pretty busy with much more sane individuals.
Maybe I was a jerk, and petty. I'm cool with being thought of that way towards Wendy. At least now, I have much kinder people in my life.
EDITED/UPDATE: It has come to my attention that some may feel unfulfilled on the petty revenge side. For this former doormat, removing myself as her very cheap childcare was my revenge. I realize that many may not feel it was enough, but at the time, it was a MAJOR achievement for me. I had worked 8 to 10 hours a day for 5 days a week to receive $300.
When "invited" to parties, I ended up providing free childcare while the other adults got drunk. I don't like the taste of alcohol or the feeling of being buzzed or drunk, so I don't partake. I feared what would happen to the ignored kids, so I found myself watching them.
I never had a lot of friends, so for a long time, I truly thought Wendy was my friend. It took conversations with my husband, my mom, Angelface, Joy, and others for me to see the reality of my situation.
Some may say this post is in fact gossiping about her. To a point, yes I will agree. I did change everybody's names though.
Ultimately, I have always questioned whether or not I was fair or did the right thing by Ghosting and blocking Wendy. I often second guess my choice; especially when thinking about those kids.
I have tried to be more alert about the people around me since this experience. I do still find myself being too nice and accepting of some ways in which I am treated. I have tried to build more boundaries though.

I may be the A-H and a bit Petty, but at least I got away from a toxic "friend".
Fair Warning, this is going to be a LONG post, but I will try to dilute it as much as possible.
About 12 years ago I left the world of retail (of which I have MANY stories) to begin a career in childcare. Some people prefer different titles, Nanny, Babysitter, Parents' Helper, Childcare Provider, etc. To be honest each of those titles are suitable in different situations.
The first family that I Nannied for went on for about 4 years, and then on again off again for another year. Through this family, I met "Wendy" and her family. Wendy went out of her way to be friendly with me, and would often ask me to babysit her kids (B5 and G1).
At one point, I had moved on to working with another family for a few months. Sadly, that ended due to the parents getting a divorce, and they moved further away.
Wendy found out that I was unemployed and asked that I Nanny for her kids. She was also pregnant with her 3rd at the time. I agreed at a slightly discounted rate because we were "friends". I realized too late that that was a HUGE mistake on my part.
Wendy's live in boyfriend "Cole" also had 3 kids from a previous relationship. B15, G8, and G6 lived with their mother. Yes, am aware of the closeness in age of Wendy and Cole' B5 and his G6. I chose to keep my mouth shut.
Now prepare yourselves for the Rollercoaster of emotions I dealt with with this family.
Initially, both Wendy and Cole were employed. I would come over 5 days a week for 8 to 10 hour days, depending upon whether Wendy got home on time. Here is where my discounted rate bit me in the butt.... $300 a week was still complained about. Wendy asked that I not leave Cole alone with their kids because he basically ignored them and refused to change diapers. I felt pretty icky about that, but agreed. Now I lived 45 minutes away without traffic. I would often leave my house early in anticipation of possible traffic. If I arrived early, I wasn't allowed in until our alloted time of 7am. I didn't have a key, and would often be left waiting on the porch an extra 15 minutes past our time. If I knew I was too early, I parked around the corner and ate breakfast. Wendy and Cole both got very irritated if I wasn't their door precisely at 7 am. It was a headache that I chose to avoid.
Over the first month, I realized that G2 was emotionally abused by Wendy. She constantly said to or in front of the child how much she hated dealing with the wild child. How she wished G2 was more well behaved like B5. She even wrote unkind things on Facebook, asking someone to take her on the weekend while I was off.
This took a toll on poor G2, obviously. She would get violent with me first thing in the mornings : Hitting, kicking, biting, pulling my hair, throwing things at me, or what ever popped into her mind. Eventually, once Wendy left for work G2 would calm down and become an absolute delight.
When B5 started school, Wendy took a new job that allowed her to work from home at times. Those were not fun days! I asked if I could bring G2 to my house where I have an outdoor play area, a playroom, plenty of kid movies, crafts, books, music, and local playgrounds. At first the car rides were torture with G2 screaming bloody murder for at least half of the 45 minute drive. When she got used to the new routine, those drives became pleasant. Her violent tendencies disappeared when we were spending the days at my home. The drawback was that I also had to drive her home in time to get B5 off the bus.
During school breaks, I also had B5, and if they were visiting G8 and G6. B15 stayed at Wendy's house and just did his own thing. If you thought G2 was torture in toddler form, these two girls would have made Nanny McPhee grow a few more moles, a hunch back, and cloved feet.
B5 would get a little bored, being that he was the only boy that was understandable. I purchased an array of boy friendlier toys to entertain him. I already had a lot of girl friendly toys either purchased or gifted from the first family that I had worked with. Of course I had plenty of gender neutral items too.
Wendy and Cole didn't give 2 sh*ts and a shave if the kids watched TV all day, went out to a playground or museum, or were driven 2 hours away, as long as I got them home on time. I easily spent an entire paycheck on activities, gas, food (which they didn't pack), and toys over 2 weeks watching all 4 kids. By the by, when asked for additional money when I did have all 4, Wendy not so politely informed me that the kids are entertain each other, so my job should be easier with all 4.
My husband and I discussed a few times whether I should look for something else. Inevitably the people pleaser in me actually felt guilty even considering it. Yup, I was apparently a glutton for punishment. Gratefully, my income was just extra, for an nice meal out occasionally, gifts for birthdays and holiday, extra hobbies, and basic groceries.
Just before Wendy gave birth to their new baby, she became unemployed. Logically, one would think this was my easy out. NOPE!! I became more of a Mother's Helper / Nanny. At this point Wendy and Cole were beginning to look for a larger house to rent. I did more walk throughs than I can count. She even asked me to tour a couple without her, and to bring G2 and B5 so she could get her nails done and take a nap. (Seriously, I toured houses on her list without her!)
As we spent more and more time together, I began to learn FAR FAR more about her bedroom life than I could ever desire. G2 and I spent much less time in the peace of my home, and way too much in Wendy's company. G2's behavior began to deteriorate slowly, causing Wendy to lose her temper with her far too easily. This completely broke my heart. I TRIED to redirect them both, and expressed my concern to Wendy. Of course, she then turned her anger towards me.
Wendy would openly discuss her theories about Cole in front of her kids. She claimed that he was cheating on her with his ex because he would shower immediately after seeing her to pick up or drop off the kids. He often made those drives directly after work though. Maybe he was cheating, maybe not. I honestly don't know.
Wendy also enjoyed gossiping about absolutely anybody. The parents of the first family that worked with were having marital issues. This was a favorite topic of hers. Wendy told me about every unkind word her mother uttered in her direction. The apple obviously didn't fall far from the tree here. I was told lots of personal information about people I didn't know. The gossip made me very uncomfortable. I told her that I would prefer we not discuss the lives of people who weren't around to speak on their own behalf. This fell on deaf ears.
I became quite used to her disapproval of my loose fitting jeans and T-shirts. Working with kids, I found my favorite cartoon prints were just as popular with my tiny charges. I NEVER wear makeup or heels because I simply don't want to. My dresses always have leggings under them because it make me feel less vulnerable. I never wear shorts or above the knee skirts/dresses. That's a ME thing, not religious or cultural. I find my "uniform" of choice is ideal for working with kids. Wendy informed me more than once that it embarrassed her to be seen in public with me. She often insisted that I wear something of hers if we had to go anywhere.
My husband enjoys photography, particularly long exposure which is done at night. He has a lot of photography friends of both genders, but his best friend is a female. He also enjoys concerts and kayaking, often with an ex from high school. (He graduated in 1997). I trust my husband and have no problem with him spending time with his friends. Enter Wendy's whispers of accusations. She often "jokingly" accused him of cheating on me with these female friends. I don't enjoy concerts, crowds, or being out late; so I support his going with people who do. At least I know he with someone if something happens. I have bad knees, which make getting in and out of a kayak difficult. Why should that stop him? Again, I told her that I trust him and that I don't appreciate her accusations joke or not. This annoyed her because she doesn't trust Cole.
I know these are major red flag issues. I know how toxic being subjected to these comments is. I also know how difficult it would be on their kids if I left too soon. I knew they needed someone who wasn't emotionally cruel. I stayed for them.
My husband and I spent 2 of our weekends helping them pack and move to house that ended up 15 minutes from us. We were thanked by words, but that was the extent of the gratitude. Wendy's mother looked after the kids while we helped them move. This was complained about because I was already paid to watch the kids during the week. Insert eye roll here!! Her mom felt my husband should be willing to help them move while I watched the kids on the weekend for no extra pay. Either way, we were doing them a HUGE favor to begin with.
A family that I had briefly Nannied for prior to working for Wendy asked if I could help out every other Saturday. The dad (Nice Guy) traveled a lot for work leaving the Mom (Angelface) home alone with the kids. She just needed a day to run errands, work out, and just have time to herself. Angelface is one of the kindest women on this planet. When I did Nanny for them (2 days a week), she was in tears when she had to let me go. They couldn't justify the outgoing money at the time. She referred me to several friends. I am legitimately friend with this family, and still babysit sporadically.
Through a random discussion, I told Wendy about working with Angelface on every other Saturday. She began to tell me what to charge, how many hours to work, and what days to leave open for her just in case. Insert headache inducing eyerolls!
One Friday, Wendy's cousin arrived for a weekend visit with her baby. Wendy told me that because it was a holiday weekend I would not be needed until Tuesday. I double checked via text, and she confirmed that she and Cole were taking the kids to the beach with her cousin. Monday morning I got a call from a pissed off Wendy asking where I am. I reminded her that she had told me that they would not need me. I even took a screen shot of our text. She said that Cole had decided to work Monday anyway so she was alone with HER kids. This pissed me off, so I lied. I told her that I was out of town with my mom and wouldn't be home until 5 or 6 pm. She went on about how much of an inconvenience it was to her, and I should have checked before going out of town. For the second time, I sent her a screenshot of my text verifying that I wasn't needed Monday. She abruptly ended the call saying to just be sure to be on time Tuesday. I had NEVER been late, but opted to mention that as we hung up.
Over time we worked out a new arrangement where I brought now G3 to my house 2 days a week, and we stayed there 3 days a week. I helped with cleaning, errands, helped with the new baby (NB), etc. Mostly, I was Wendy's sounding board. She continued to accuse Cole of cheating, wasting money, and even beating her.
My husband and I offered to let her and the kids stay with us, but she declined. Wendy even told me that since she was so sure Cole was cheating, she was going to find herself a side boyfriend to cheat with. I tried to talk her out of it, to no avail. Sadly, she spoke openly about her new boyfriend in fron of G3. During one of her rants I learned that my pay came from him selling drugs. GULP!!
While cleaning out the couch one day, I came across a loaded gun kept in the couch console thing, along with baggies of pills, "dried plants", and white powder. This completely freaked me out. 2 small children and a soon to be crawling baby sat and played on and around that couch. I STRONGLY considered calling Child Pretective Services and the police. I quickly realized that if I did, they would know it was me. I regret it, but I feared their possible retaliation towards us.
Shortly after finding these thing Cole quit his job. For several months while I worked for them, they were both unemployed. Again, I thought it was an easy out. NOPE AGAIN! For another 3 months, they insisted that they couldn't take care of the house and kids without my help. Very often, I arrived to find now B6 fending for himself for breakfast and getting ready for school. He was told to wake up and unlock the door for me, but they went back to sleep. I was expected to keep the baby from crying, and to keep G3 quiet and entertained until they came downstairs. I often chose to simply take both to my house so we could play naturally. We had a crib, so this wasn't a problem for NB. G3 would just nap on the couch or my bed. When out of school B6 preferred this too. This really should have told Wendy and Cole something about their kids, but of course not.
FINALLY, I was informed after about a year of working for them, they could no longer justify paying me. At this point, I had often considered quitting anyway. I mainly stayed because my heart broke for the kids. However, based on her gossipy and judgmental nature ... not to mention my little 3 day weekend fail; I was concerned about what kind of reference Wendy would provide if I chose to quit.
So in 2019, I found myself happily unemployed. The timing here worked out beautifully because Angelface knew neighbors due to have their first baby in 2020. I ended up working for this lovely family until August of 2023. The mom (Joy) and the Dad (Mr. Cool) were such a relief to my entire mental and physical health. We became friends as well, and over time I told them about Wendy. Between Joy, Angelface, Mr. Cool, Nice Guy, my husband, and family I began to realize just how toxic Wendy really was to my mental health. My husband never liked her but understood my feelings towards the kids.
For almost a year Wendy would randomly call or FaceTime me .... more often than not while drunk. She would rave about how much she and the kids missed me. We would get together for a meal, and she had me over for a couple birthday parties for the kids. I found myself almost always being the only sober adult watching the kids as the adults partied. Wendy often went back to her gossiping, trash talking, and "jokes" about my husband spending time with women. She would offer underhanded compliments. "It's so nice to see you wearing a dress instead of those tacky T-shirts." You get the drift. She even INFORMED me that since her neighbor was pregnant I could quit my job with Joy and Mr. Cool. She had told her neighbor that I would work for her now, and since they were next door, I would watch her own kids too. I shut that down saying that I was quite happy working with Joy and Mr. Cool. I even lied about what they paid thinking it would detur her further. NOPE yet again. She said that I should quit anyway so her life would be easier with me around. Once more, I told her that wasn't going to happen.
AT LONG LAST, I am coming to the end of my tortuous endurment with Wendy.
A week later, she called and asked if I had quit yet. I said that I had no intention of leaving an "$800" a week job. (Not even close to that with my 3 day a week job, but she didn't need to know the truth.) She told me to let her know when I quit, then changed the subject towards gossiping about that first family and their problems. I told her that I don't feel comfortable gossiping about people who can't speak for themselves. That pissed her off, so she turned it on me again. She said of course I don't want to talk about them since my husband was cheating on me with 2 different women. I angrily corrected her. She has no reason to think my husband is cheating, and I trust him and our friends. Just because she thinks her boyfriend cheats, and she cheats, that doesn't mean everybody does. She then said we could talk when I calmed down and after I quit my job.
After hanging up, I proceeded to block Wendy on everything! Facebook, phone calls, texting, face timing, Instagram, and even Snapchat (which I hadn't used in over a year). I also blocked her mom, and any body that had been friended on apos simply because Wendy knew them and wanted me to have their information too. I gave her no warning at all. I was beyond pissed off, and refused to be talked out of my very gratifying decision.
I told my husband, family, and friends that was now free of Wendy. Not a single person tried to tell me to make ammends. The only guilt that I feel is towards those poor kids. For once though, I put myself first. Joy and Angelface were both extremely supportive when I told them that I had Ghosted Wendy. Both even mentioned how proud they were of me for FINALLY truly stand-up for myself. They were NOT fans of Wendy!!!
I never ended up quitting my job with Joy and Mr. Cool in order to babysit Wendy's neighbor. I also continued to babysit for Angelface and Nice Guy.
About 7 or 8 months ago, I ran into Wendy at a playground between our two homes. She was with now G5 and B2. I had Joy and Mr. Cool's daughter with me. I was polite, almost obscenely so. I was friendly towards the kids, who were stand off-ish. I offered to let Little Miss play with them, but they weren't interested. Little Miss wanted to do her own thing, so off we went to play. We left after only 15 minutes because Little Miss said "that lady" is scaring her.
That night, my husband got a Facebook message from Wendy. She described my cruelty towards her kids by ignoring them. She said that it was so hateful that I blocked her on everything after all she had done for us. This message went on and on. My husband left it unread for months before my morbid curiosity caused me to open the silly thing. We never responded, but instead he finally blocked her too.
Ok, if you read that bloody novel of a post, you are a ROCK STAR!! I don't have any regrets towards my eventual choice, except towards the kids. It breaks my heart knowing what kind of parents they are enduring. I often regret not calling CPS, but there isn't a shadow of doubt that would have retaliated .... most likely violently.
I did eventually get back in contact with that very first Nanny family. They had indeed broken up, but both are happier and healthier now. I warned them that Wendy enjoyed gossiping and spreading rumors about them. Neither were surprised, and both had broken contact with Wendy long ago. They supported my choice to break ties with her as well. Shocking, right!?!
I no longer work full time for Joy and Mr. Cool, as they wanted Little Miss to get used to being around more kids before starting school. I do still sporadically babysit for them and Angelface and Nice Guy though. The two couples have referred me to several other families in the neighborhood, so I stay pretty busy with much more sane individuals.
Maybe I was an A-Hole, and petty. I'm cool with being thought of that way towards Wendy. At least now, I have much kinder people in my life.
EDITED/UPDATE: It has come to my attention that some may feel unfulfilled on the petty revenge side. For this former doormat, removing myself as her very cheap childcare was my revenge. I realize that many may not feel it was enough, but at the time, it was a MAJOR achievement for me. I had worked 8 to 10 hours a day for 5 days a week to receive $300.
When "invited" to parties, I ended up providing free childcare while the other adults got drunk. I don't like the taste of alcohol or the feeling of being buzzed or drunk, so I don't partake. I feared what would happen to the ignored kids, so I found myself watching them.
I never had a lot of friends, so for a long time, I truly thought Wendy was my friend. It took conversations with my husband, my mom, Angelface, Joy, and others for me to see the reality of my situation.
Some may say this post is in fact gossiping about her. To a point, yes I will agree. I did change everybody's names though.
Ultimately, I have always questioned whether or not I was fair or did the right thing by Ghosting and blocking Wendy. I often second guess my choice; especially when thinking about those kids.
I have tried to be more alert about the people around me since this experience. I do still find myself being too nice and accepting of some ways in which I am treated. I have tried to build more boundaries though.

I need help from strangers on the internet... I'm having a problem with my sister-in-law, and it's taking a toll on my mental health more than I'd like to admit.
The situation is as follows, from my point of view, my brother married a horrible person. It's difficult to describe all the situations, but I'd like to list some to give you an overview.
Example 1: My mom invited us all with plane tickets to go to the beach. My husband, upon finding out about this, saw that the company he works for has a hotel at the beach and they offer good discounts, so he made an effort to buy the three rooms we needed and thanked my mom for inviting us to the beach. My sister-in-law immediately complained about the hotel, she was upset that it wasn't right on the beach but 10 minutes away, and said it was rude that we didn't include her in the decision.
Example 2: I invited her to a family barbecue at my house when she was still my brother's girlfriend, knowing that she hardly eats anything, I prepared special food for her. The meal was at 2 p.m., she arrived at 5:30 p.m. when the charcoal was almost out, and she complained that her food wasn't cooked and demanded that I cook it for her.
Now, some other behaviors that constantly repeat: When we go out to eat, she doesn't talk to us, she's constantly whispering to my brother, making the atmosphere tense and uncomfortable. She complains about everything. She's always late.
The worst part of all this is that my brother indulges her in EVERYTHING and gets nervous every time she's uncomfortable. He can't go anywhere without her, he can't make any decisions without consulting her, she doesn't work, she doesn't take care of the house because she has employees for that, she doesn't have hobbies. In addition to this, she makes passive-aggressive comments all the time.
At the beginning of the relationship, I tried to maintain a cordial relationship, but my patience has worn thin to the point where I've also stopped talking to her when I see her and have made some not-so-nice comments.
The problem is that I no longer feel like seeing my family; if she's there, I don't want to go. The other day I wanted to celebrate an achievement at work and decided not to invite them, which resulted in my mom saying she felt very bad about not including them and asking me not to make her choose between her children.
What can I do? Seeing her causes me enormous discomfort, I can't ignore her and be a better person. I'm worried about my brother, but I see him being so submissive that I'm afraid mentioning something bad about her will only worsen the already hostile relationship we have. I need advice.

Relief
Since doing my Fifth Step, “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs,” I have heard many Al-Anon members say the same words. They said, “She loved me anyway, even after I told her the exact nature of my wrongs.”
After spending my life being whatever I thought the people around me wanted me to be, I was sure the real me would be rejected if anyone really knew her. I never tried it out, but I’d experienced plenty of rejection and didn’t think I could handle any more.
So, after several years in the program and much trepidation, I asked my Sponsor to listen to some of the things I’d written about myself when I “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves,” in my Fourth Step. I was doing the Steps piecemeal and had been giving her a few samples of my experience whenever we got together. This time I described the behaviors that gave me the most shame and I cringed as I waited for her response. She’d told me many times before, “You’re not all that good at being all that bad,” and that was the first thing I heard when I finished. My Sponsor reminded me of some of the parts of her own story that wouldn’t have fit any “Goody Two-Shoes.” With her gentle laugh, she assured me that I’d done the best I could with what I had at the time.
My relief was great. I hadn’t been rejected—I’d been loved! This must be an example of the unconditional love I’d heard about around the tables at Al-Anon meetings. I thought I might just reveal the rest of my secrets if this is what would happen.
As I look back on that Fifth Step and subsequent ones. I see I was receiving example of healthy ways to relate to people. I can just listen when someone shares joy, grief, shame, or confusion. I can relay my acceptance and perhaps help someone accept the circumstances of a situation. Perhaps I can help someone else accept herself, I can love as I have been loved. Such interactions are bound to be contagious.
By Laurie K., Missouri October, 2003Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.

I have been a weekend binge drinker for 9+ years starting in college. Just about to turn 27 this summer.
I can usually go out to drink and be okay (I’m still hungover but it’s manageable). I also go out less often now then I use to back when I was in my early 20’s. But for me the issue is during longer binges (2-3 nights in a row and day drinking).
I only go on binges for special occasions but when I do I get absolutely crippling hangovers. Usually terrible anxiety and dread + panic attacks.
This past weekend I went on a bachelor party and drank heavily for 3 full days in a row, didn’t drink enough water or eat enough food, and got sunburnt to shit since we were at the beach.
I woke up Sunday feeling shitty but could’ve been worse. We all go to the airport and right as we get in the plane is when my hangover really hit. I think I had actual alcohol withdrawal as I started to get shaky, panic attacks etc. the flight was only 1.5 hours but was the worst experience of my life. I can’t even describe how awful the feeling was but I legit thought I was dying and was tried to have my girlfriend (who I live with) to take me to the hospital.
Never in my life have I ever felt something that’s terrible. And I certainly never want to feel that way again. I’ve had some bad fucking hangovers in my life but this was different.
After experiencing the worst day ever and still feeling like shit today, I realized this is a serious wake up call and I can’t ignore this issue anymore.
At this point I am looking to stop drinking alcohol for an indefinite amount of time. For me alcohol gets rid of social anxiety which is why I abuse it. I want to learn to live a life alcohol free and then maybe get to the point where I can a few drinks and not have it have such a negative impact on my life.
As a 26 year old guy with a lot of friends that drink I know it will be a challenge.
I really just wanted to get some of this off my chest and see what everyone else’s breaking points were + any other tips or resources you have found helpful.

Link to original nosleep post:
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/1bgxwgm/i_found_a_set_of_blank_cassette_tapes_at_the_junk/
Growing up as a young kid in the late 1980s, I was always terrified by the stories I'd hear of people who'd go to the grocery store, take a hike in the woods, or even a trip to a crowded beach, and would disappear, never to be seen again.
Whenever I'd see their faces memorialized on the back of milk cartons, their last photographs forever immortalized in the macabre medium of ink on cardboard, it would send shivers down my spine.
But the truth is, by the mid 1990s, I had overcome my fears, too preoccupied by the distractions of an adolescent life.
That is, until one day, in 1996, when, at the age of fourteen, a mere freshman in high school, during my weekly pilgrimage to the junk store, I made a discovery in the cassette pile that would change my life forever.
"You're still listening to tapes?" My best friend Jess asked, rolling her eyes, a nerd in the truest sense. "Get with it, dude. CDs are the future. Higher dynamic range, superior sound quality. It's not even a question."
"Yeah, yeah." I replied, ignoring her criticism, as I rummaged through the store's now mound of cassettes, its collection having significantly accumulated since the dawn of the compact disc just a few years prior.
"Look at that thing. It just looks... not cool." My friend Mike added, as he pointed to my cassette player, which was clipped onto my belt, its black plastic headphones draped around my neck. "I swear, if you wear that to school, and the football team asks, I'm denying that we're friends."
Somewhere between elementary school and high school, he'd been converted to an athlete and, by association, became popular. But I didn't care about being cool. Or acting cool. Or dressing cool. I just liked what I liked, and to me, cassettes were functional, and cheap. And that, to me, was really cool.
"Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never-" I began to say to them, before something caught my eye at the bottom of the box.
It was a stack of eight homemade cassette tapes, each with a number scribbled onto it, bundled together by a flimsy old rubber band, that looked like it would break at any moment.
There was just something about them. Something so nondescript, so unapologetic, so mysterious, that I felt compelled to buy them, without even knowing what was recorded onto their magnetic tape.
"What are you guys doing later?" I asked Jess and Mike, as we left the store, and began our walk home, the ocean's waves showering us with mist, as they crashed along the seawall of our small South Shore town.
"First game of the season tonight." Mike replied, "Wouldn't miss it."
"You should check it out. Even I'm watching," Jess added, "We signed Walker in the draft. I just have a feeling about this season."
"No thanks." I declined, "I just can't get into sports. Despite my blue collar dad's continued attempts to convert me."
"Your loss." Mike replied, as we parted ways, each of us heading off in different directions.
—
Later that night, I was lying in bed, fantasizing about a world where Jess confessed her undying love for me, when I suddenly remembered that I'd bought the cassette tapes earlier that day.
So, I found the one labeled "1," popped it into my cassette player, and hit the rewind button.
After a minute, I heard it stop, and pressed play...
CLICK.
...Expecting to hear some grunge, britpop, or maybe even ska music. But what came out of the speakers was something... else.
"If you're listening to this..." A man said, his ominous voice crackling over the magnetic tape, "...You've found my instructions on where to find the bodies in the marsh."
What the heck? I thought to myself, nearly spitting out my soda. This must be some kind of prank. But for some reason, I couldn't stop listening.
"Bodies that, if discovered in the correct order, will provide clues to who I am. And why I did what I did."
Okay, maybe it's some sort of audio game? Like a detective thing, Yes, that must be it.
"As this is the first cassette in the set of eight, for this tape I'll be providing step by step instructions on how to find the first body. So, when you're ready, please proceed to the marshes on 139, where the bend of the road meets the sharp turn sign. You'll want to pause the tape now, until you get there."
CLICK.
I did just as he instructed, and paused the tape.
139. That's an actual street, not far away. Wait a minute. Could this be... real?
I wasted no time, picking up the plastic rotary telephone that I'd begged my parents to let me keep in my room, and called Jess' house.
"What the heck, dude!" She answered, "You just booted me offline. I've been downloading this song all day, and it was at 95%."
"Sorry," I replied, "But there's something I need to tell you."
I proceeded to tell her about the tape, and its instructions, and asked her to skip school with me the next day, to accompany me on my search for the bodies. Naturally, she laughed off the request, citing a presentation she had to give at school the next day, but offered up going right then and there.
"At night? Are you crazy?" I asked.
"I mean it's not real. So what's the worst that could happen?" She reasoned.
"Okay, let me call Mike."
I would have bet a million dollars that Mike would have declined the invite, and called me an idiot for even entertaining the idea, but when he picked up the phone, he was so upset that the boys in green, as he called them, had lost, that he jumped at the chance to get out of the house.
"Really?" I replied.
"Yeah, I can't listen to my old man make up excuses for them anymore. It's much too early in the season."
—
About an hour later, Jess, Mike, and I met at the marshes on 139, where the bend of the road meets the sharp turn sign, just as the narrator, as I'll call him, had described.
"Where to now, genius?" Mike asked, gesturing to the immense stretch of marshland that lay before us. A stretch of marshland that was so expansive, in fact, that our town was even named for it.
"One second." I said, before putting on my headphones and pressing play on the cassette player.
CLICK.
"If you're listening now, it means you made it to the starting point. Next, you'll want to turn to the marsh, and scan the horizon for an old scarecrow. Once you find it, walk across the top of the marsh, careful not to fall into its trenches, until you reach the scarecrow. Until then, pause the tape."
Once again, I did just as he instructed, and paused the tape, before returning my headphones to my neck, and looking off into the distance.
Sure enough, about a football field's distance away, was the scarecrow, its body illuminated by the moonlight, its arms open wide, as if calling us over to join it.
"Follow me." I said to my friends.
—
A few minutes later, I was trudging through the grassy surface of the marshlands, my flashlight in hand, as Jess and Mike lagged behind me, bantering away as usual.
"It's up, up, down, down, right, left, right, left, A, B, and start." Mike said.
"No, you idiot, it's up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, and start." Jess corrected.
"Will you two shut up already?" I called out, as I forged ahead, too annoyed to look back at them.
"You know what, Tyler? I'm really starting to worry about you, dude." Mike said.
"Oh yeah? Why's that?" I replied, rolling my eyes.
"You're really changing. Hanging out at the comic book store. Listening to metal. And worst of all, wearing those flannels around your waist."
I stopped in my tracks, and turned back to him.
"Me change? Dude, I saw you bullying Shea in the locker room, with the other football players."
"So what? The kid deserved it."
"Did he? Why?"
"For being a nerd. That's why. And you know what?"
"What?"
"Maybe you deserve to be bullied too."
I dropped my flashlight and stormed over to him, before we both locked eyes, fists clenched.
That's when we heard Jess, call back to us from up ahead.
"Hey guys..." She said.
We both looked over to her.
Jess simply pointed a few feet away, where we saw...
...A giant scarecrow, towering above the marsh, its wooden body barely keeping it standing, nearly all of its hay having fallen off.
—
CLICK.
"If you're listening now, it means you made it to the scarecrow. Next, you'll want to look out at the Y-shaped ravine before you, separating you from two different patches of marsh. Jump to the one on the left, take about five steps, and dig there. That's where you'll find the first body, and a clue. After you find it, you'll want to switch to the second tape."
CLICK.
I relayed the recording to my friends, who had very different reactions.
"I'm not jumping-" Jess said.
"Stand back." Mike interrupted, as he took a few steps back, crouched down, ran...
...And cleared the ravine, his boots splashing into the muddy marsh on the other side.
Jess and I simply looked at each other, then over at Mike, then down at the ravine, and finally back at each other.
—
A few minutes later, Jess was helping me up from the ravine, she too, having just crawled up from it after falling in.
Meanwhile, Mike was laughing so hard at us, that he stumbled backwards and tripped over something.
Seeing that Mike, too, was now covered in mud, Jess and I joined in on the laughter, and before we knew it, all three of us were all uncontrollably howling under the moonlight, all three of us, dirt caked onto all of our clothes.
But then Mike stopped laughing.
"Hey guys..." He said.
Jess and I looked over at him.
"...What the heck is that?" He continued, pointing to an object that was protruding from the marsh.
I turned on my flashlight, shined it onto the object, and was shocked to find...
...A human hand, long decomposed, its digits collapsed into the mud, its wrist bones sticking up through the grass.
Jess screamed at the top of her lungs.
Mike, having just stood up, fell back to the ground, his eyes wide in horror.
And I, I took it the worst of all, immediately turning to the ravine and gagging into it, as if that was the polite place to do it.
"But wait," Jess began, "That means..."
"...They're real. The tapes are real. And there are seven more bodies out here." I muttered, my body beginning to tremble.
"Cool." Jess said, before taking a closer look.
"We've gotta go tell someone. The cops. Let's get out of here." I said, still in shock.
"Are you kidding, dude? We have a once in a lifetime chance here, to find these bodies. Now let's find the clue and play the other tape." Mike said, his voice excited, but his body shaking.
"He does have a point, as disgusting as it is." Jess added.
"You can't be serious?" I yelled out to them both.
"Hey, you're the one that found the tapes. And wanted to come out here." Jess replied.
"The way I see it, there's only one way to decide." Mike called out.
"Oh yeah? What's that?" I asked.
"We vote." He said, with a smile.
—
A few minutes later, Mike and Jess were digging through the mud, searching for the clue, as I watched on in horror, switched tape "1" for tape "2", and pressed play.
CLICK.

Link to original nosleep post:
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/1akrt76/my_friends_and_i_went_on_a_hike_to_watch_a_total/
It was August 21st, 2017, and the future was...
...Dark. Literally dark.
That day, the first total solar eclipse visible from anywhere in the mainland United States since February, 1979, which some media outlets were calling “The Great American Eclipse,” was due to cast its shadow over America.
And it just so happened, that my city, and the surrounding area, would be in the path of totality that afternoon, putting us in its umbra - its darkest shadow, and allowing us to witness the moon completely block the sun and reveal its corona.
"You packed light." My best friend Josh pointed out to me that morning, gesturing to my obviously lightly packed backpack, as we walked from the parking lot to the trail.
"Don't these things only last a few minutes?" I replied, having only barely researched the lunar event.
But why should I have? After all, it had been Josh's brilliant idea, to propose to his girlfriend, Allison, during the total eclipse, and bring me along for the ride to take photographs, aka third wheel.
As a city guy, I never had any desire to go hiking in the wilderness, and had been dreading the trip ever since he told me about it. But Josh had been my best friend since elementary school, and had done more than enough favors for me over the years. So, I just swallowed my pride and went along with it.
"They're saying about two and half minutes from where we are, specifically." Allison corrected.
She's always been the best kind of nerd. I thought to myself, enviously.
But I tried not to make eye contact with her. There was too much history there, too many emotions. And on top of all that, she and Josh were about to get engaged.
"Got it." I replied, staring down at my feet, as I trudged along the rocky path, my boots crunching into the ground with every step.
What were you thinking? Agreeing to this? I internally kicked myself, immediately regretting the decision.
"You okay?" Josh asked. "You were pretty quiet in the car."
"Yeah, I'm okay, thanks."
I was not okay. But what was I supposed to say? "I'm still in love with your future wife?"
Let's take these photos and get the fuck out of here. I thought to myself, before sneaking a few shots of Josh and Allison holding hands, as they walked ahead of me, careful to not make Allison suspicious, and while also throwing up in my mouth a little bit.
—
But when we finally made it to the summit of the hill, where Josh had chosen to host the two-pronged occasion, I was pleasantly surprised to discover, that I was not third wheeling after all.
There, sitting side by side in beach chairs, each with a beer in hand, were Bob and Cara, a married couple that Josh and I had befriended at a bar one night a couple months prior, and, in a very short amount of time, had completely infiltrated our friend group.
"There they are!" Bob called out.
"Eclipse party!" Cara yelled out even louder.
"At least I have other people to talk to." I mumbled to myself, before turning to Josh and asking, "You didn't tell me Bob and Cara were joining?"
"Thought I'd surprise you." He said, with a cheeky smile.
"Theme of the day." I replied sarcastically, before immediately heading for the cooler, opening it, and reaching into its deepest depths, for the coldest beer I could possibly find.
But after I removed a bottle, and opened it with my keychain, I looked down, and happened to notice, that my finger was bleeding.
I didn't think much of it, so I just held up my bloody finger to the group. "Hey, anybody got a bandage?"
"Already?" Josh teased, shaking his head, "We can't take you anywhere."
"Take him anywhere?" Allison chimed in, "I blame Bob and Cara. What kind of weapons are you keeping down there, at the bottom of your cooler?"
The married couple simply sat there in silence for a moment, before turning to each other, then back at us, and bursting out laughing.
"Got us!" Cara said.
"Busted!" Bob added, before Josh tossed me the first aid kit and pivoted the conversation.
"Speaking of Bob and Cara. I just want to shout them out, for coming up with the eclipse party idea in the first place."
Everyone raised their beers, and cheered, as I wrapped a bandage around my finger.
Fucking Bob and Cara. I thought to myself, as I faked a smile and raised my bottle.
—
A few hours, and a lot of beers later, we were all sitting at the top of the hill, doing as friends do, and bantering about absolutely nothing of actual significance, when Bob looked down at his watch, and made an announcement.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the moment we've all been waiting for has finally arrived!" He declared, slurring his words a bit.
"Everyone, get your sunglasses!" Cara added, as she stumbled over to her backpack, and removed five pairs of cardboard sunglasses, specifically made for looking at eclipses, or so they claimed in the ads.
We all put them on...
...And looked up at the sky...
...But nothing happened.
Then, Josh lowered his sunglasses and started winking profusely at me.
"Oh, right!" I said, before reaching for my camera and pointing it at Josh, just in time to catch him getting down on one knee, removing a ring from his pocket, and holding it out to Allison.
At first, she was completely confused, and looked around at everyone, as if to ask, "What's going on?"
But then Josh uttered the words, "Allison, you're the love of my life... The apple of my eye... The moon to my sun."
Allison, Bob, and Cara all chuckled at the timeliness of the joke a bit, but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at it. I just stood there, hiding behind my camera, snapping photos, hoping it would end quickly.
Just get it over with already.
"Will you marry me?" Josh asked, to a dramatic pause, before Allison finally replied.
"Oh my! Yes! Of course I will!"
And like that, Josh placed the ring on her finger, hopped up, and the two kissed, still wearing their sunglasses, just as the moon began to eclipse the sun.
I snapped one last photo, which I'll admit, was pretty beautiful, before I couldn't bear to take it anymore, and had to put my camera down.
And that's when, things got...
...Weird.
As the moon continued to pass in front of the sun, the sky grew darker and darker, and, in combination with the eclipse sunglasses that I was still wearing, caused me to lose visibility.
Suddenly, I felt what I assumed was a raindrop...
...Before realizing that rain would have been impossible, given the clear visibility of the eclipse that day.
I removed my sunglasses, and whipped around, to see what the droplet could possibly have been, only to witness a gruesome sight...
...Bob, dimly lit, being hacked away at, by a shadowy figure holding a strange object...
...Blood spraying everywhere.
That's not rain.
It must have happened so fast, that Bob never even had a chance to scream.
But Cara, on the other hand, had a chance.
She immediately began wailing and crying at the top of her lungs, so loud that Josh and Allison were jarred out of their loving embrace, and began calling out to her.
"Cara?" Josh yelled out.
"What's wrong?" Allison added.
But then...
...Cara went silent.
I tried to will myself to warn Josh and Allison, to shout out, "Run!" but I was so paralyzed with fear, that I couldn't bring myself to utter the word.
So, I just followed my own advice, and darted away as fast as I could, knowing that whoever had just killed Bob, and seemingly now Cara, was close by.
But before I could get far, I heard what sounded like Josh grappling with the shadowy figure, and immediately stopped in my tracks.
I turned around, and tried to make out what was happening, against the sky, but it was still pretty dark, and the only thing I could see, was the glowing corona of the sun encircling the moon, the total eclipse now at its peak.
"Get away from her!" Josh cried out, before I saw what looked like him charge at the man.
But something must have gone terribly wrong, as the next, and last word, I ever heard out of Josh's mouth, was "No!"
As the moon began to move out of the total eclipse, and pass by the sun, enough light began to pour in, that I was able to see my best friend's body tumble to the ground.
And then...
...Silence...
...Until I heard Allison begin to scream.
"Help! Help!"
Now able to see her, dimly lit, and cowering in fear on the ground a few feet away from me, I jumped in front of her.
For a brief moment, we locked eyes, in what felt like four parts horror, one part longing, before we both looked back and saw, now fully illuminated....
...The slayer that had just wreaked havoc on our party, his face and body, covered in blood, his hands gripping what I now saw... was a scythe.
A fucking scythe!?
He slowly began to approach us, weapon in hand...
...Until he got a few feet away...
...And suddenly stopped, to look up at the moon...
...But it was gone.
In the moment that followed, he appeared to process what that meant, and what to do next, before...
...He simply turned around and walked away.
Allison and I sat there on the ground, shaking violently, as we clung to each other, paralyzed with fear, and watched him drift away into the distance...
...Until he was gone.
When we eventually conjured enough energy to stand up, we hobbled back to the parking lot, and drove Josh's car, to the closest police station we could find, remaining silent almost the entire time.
And after finally arrived at the precinct, it took us a good while to bring ourselves to speak, and describe to the authorities, the atrocities that had occurred in the shadow of the eclipse that day.
The cops immediately raced to the trail, and recovered the bodies of Bob, Cara, and Josh, but the man with the scythe...
...The eclipse killer, as the detectives joked...
...Was never found, left to roam the world and live amongst us, likely waiting to strike when the next eclipse arrives.
And as for Allison and I... while the events of that day could just as well have bonded us, or been taken as a sign that we were meant to be together, we never talked about it again, and slowly drifted away...
...Just as the moon had drifted away from the sun on the afternoon of August 21st, 2017.
Still to this day, whenever I hear that an eclipse of any sort is coming, I think back to that hike, and worry for those who dare to venture out of their homes to observe it.
While, I, however... stay the fuck inside.

Me and Lila always carved dozens of jack o’ lanterns every October, so they’d absolutely saturate our lawn on Halloween night. It was our thing. But looking back on it, now that I’ve lost her, I just feel bad for the pumpkins. I almost relate to them, somehow. The way they were carved up, had everything of substance inside of them torn out, and left as hollow, rotting shells with forced smiles.
Needless to say, I didn’t cope with her death well. I didn’t want to cope with it. I wanted the world to drown in the black sludge of my grief. I loathed the people I saw going about their lives, unaware that the world had already ended the moment Lila died. The Earth shouldn’t keep spinning. Life shouldn’t go on. Not without her.
Even my relatives bringing me along on a trip to Kauai only made it worse. The most gorgeous place on Earth, and it made me sick with hatred. Nothing that beautiful deserved to exist if Lila wasn’t ever going to get to see it. It wasn’t fair.
I thought I’d never enjoy or care about anything again. Then I discovered media preservation.
It started with taking some of Lila’s old VHS tapes to a video repair place to fix some issues with the footage before it’s digitized. The job fascinated me. In a universe based on entropy, where everything inevitably fades away and is forgotten… restoring something lost is like snatching it from the jaws of death, right? Like flipping the bird to the universe and its so-called ‘natural order’. People die, but information doesn’t have to.
Now, it doesn’t matter how small — be it some god-awful plug-and-play licensed game, or a cereal commercial from 80’s — it’s my mission to recover it in as high a quality as I’m able, and make sure it’s freely available online for as long as possible.
A couple weeks ago, I came across a big haul. Four boxes of old VHS tapes offered up on E-Bay for dirt cheap. Most of the tapes were just recordings of Cheers episodes already preserved in higher qualities, but one Maxell E-240 caught my interest.
First of all, I’d never seen one so melted. Sure, sometimes they were left in an attic too long, and the colors and audio start to degrade. But this one looked like it had survived a house fire. It was covered in soot and the smell of smoke, and had the overall shape of a chocolate bar left out in the sun a little too long.
Second was the label, which read in neat sharpie: ᴇᴘɪꜱᴏᴅᴇ 4,679,329 ᴍᴀʀ 8 2035.
The casing was so disfigured, I had to bust it apart just pull out the tapes and respool them in a fresh cassette. I tried to iron out the creases in the tape as best I could, but I had no illusions about it accomplishing much — the mylar surface had been irreparably warped in places by whatever fire had half-melted the thing.
Imagine my despair at the sight of that dreaded ‘ɴᴏ ꜱɪɢɴᴀʟ’. I could clearly see the tape wasn’t blank, yet no amount of adjusting the tracking or trying different TVs or VCRs accomplished anything. Just as I was about to give up, though, the thing just suddenly started playing properly at the exact instant the clock struck 3 AM, as if it had only now decided to work. My all-nighter had paid off.
I didn’t dwell on the fact that this ‘miracle fix’ had been impossible. If I’d had any sense, I’d have torn the horrid thing out of my VCR and buried it beneath holy ground. Instead, fool I was, I sat down and watched.
At first, the thing seemed unwatchable. The audio was so distorted that the show’s theme song emerged as a low, crackling, staticky wail that made my head throb, and the logo was completely indistinguishable through the flickering and interference. I thought it was a lost cause for a moment. But then a figure appeared and cleared away the static, like Moses parting the Red Sea.
It was the sight of the show’s host that hooked me. He was just… perfect. Perfect in every way. I knew it just looking at him. Infinitely handsome and likable and charismatic, and he always said the exact perfect thing. The only issue is, I don’t remember a single thing about him now, in the same way you can’t remember a dream that seemed so clear to you while you were experiencing it. He just appears in my memory as this abstract blur in a sharp suit. Yet at the time, I was awestruck, even before he said a single word.
I can’t even remember a word he said. It was like he was speaking another language, one I felt as opposed to heard. I’ll try and transcribe it as best I can into words, but know that it’s only a pathetic imitation.
“... for another night of laughs, prizes, and fun for the whole family, with your host, #####!” I noticed that the audio and visual distortion seemed to suddenly intensify the instant he said his name, rendering it completely illegible. Idiot I was, I figured that was a coincidence. “Tonight is a night of celebration, folks, because thanks to the support of loyal viewers like you, we have just been approved for, get this: two hundred thousand more seasons!”
The “live studio audience” went wild with applause. I put that in scare quotes because, as far as I could tell, besides the host, the studio seemed completely empty. As if he was standing on a plain white stage that extended outwards into infinite darkness on all sides.
“For those just joining us, the game here is simple…” He explained that this was some sort of a trivia show. Every time a guest got an answer wrong, it brought them a little closer to some sort of unspecified ‘punishment’. And if they got it right? He smirked. “Well, they get to delay the inevitable.”
I wondered what he meant by ‘inevitable’. I didn’t have to wonder long.
The host gestured to a curtain that hadn’t been there moments ago, which raised to reveal a middle-aged man. You know the type — bushy mustache, gray hair, round-rimmed glasses. Kind of guy you’d have doing your plumbing. He couldn’t look any more out of place stood up and restrained in that — what the hell is that?
I recognized that metal coffin-looking thing from a medieval torture museum I went to once. The iron maiden. The lid hung open, countless long, needle-like blades poking inwards, threaten to poke a million new holes in him if it was shut.
His situation was not lost on him. “Where… where am I? What the hell is this!?”
“Oh, lucky guess!” The host ‘joked’. More canned laughter. “I know you always loved watching those trivia shows, Malcolm? Weren’t you always sitting there, grinding your teeth, seething that it wasn’t fair? That you should be the one up on stage, winning big?”
The man paused. Even he seemed mesmerized by the unreal perfection of the host before him. “I… this is a… game show?”
“All you have to do is answer a few questions! Think you can handle that, Malcolm?” He pulled out a cue card without waiting for an answer. “And our first question! What were you doing the night of February 18th, 1998?”
The man seemed baffled. “Just… sat on my couch watching the NFL, I think? I’m not sure how I’m supposed to remember —“
He let out a startled squeal as a horrid buzzer sounded. On cue, the lid slid a third of the way closed, making him flinch. “Oooh, I’m afraid that’s the wrong answer, Frank! But you know what? I’ll give you one more chance. What were you —“
“Following a girl home!” The man cried out. “F-from the bar. There, are you happy?”
“Cor-rect!” The canned audience began cheering! “Such honesty! Now, our second question: just what were you carrying while you followed her?”
He hesitated for a little too long. And then the buzzer sounded again, and the lid slid so near to closing that its blades began poking uncomfortably against his skin. He tried to press himself against the back of the maiden as well as his restraints would allow. “Jesus! Okay! A knife, a knife!”
“Awww, if only you’d said that just a second earlier!” Another big question. “Our third question: why, Malcolm? Why did you do it?”
That set Malcolm off. He started thrashing, clawing, screaming. “Let me out of this thing, you maniac! You can’t do this to me! Do you know who I am? Is this some sort of sick joke? My lawyers will have your head for this, you—“
And then the buzzer. All of a sudden, the lid slammed shut full-force, and the man was utterly silenced save for an unnatural, drawn-out wheeze. “Another wrong answer, Malcolm! I’m afraid I was looking for: ‘because if I can’t have her, no one can’!”
I admit it. I laughed. Out of shock more than anything. How was this allowed on TV? I took it as some sort of dark comedy show, and it was kind of satisfying to see that freaky character get his comeuppance. Still, there was something unnerving to me, seeing the man’s eyes through the openings in the maiden. Wide and red and terrified. They just looked a little… too real.
But the maiden disappeared as quickly as it came, before I could dwell on it too much. “Oh, envy! Definitely one of my favorite sins.” More laughter. “Stay tuned, folks! We’ve still got a night of fun and games in store for you! But first… how’s about a word from our sponsors?”
Cut to a corporate logo which I again couldn't recognize.
“This segment was made possible by Buer Health, which has recently announced a brilliant new initiative to protect our citizens from skin cancer by removing their skin completely.”
The camera cut to a massive industrial building, resembling a solid concrete cube around 50 meters in width and height. Its surface bore arcane symbols etched using carvings of wailing, tormented faces. The host would occasionally be rendered inaudible by a deafening metallic scraping from within, though he didn’t seem to notice. The only protrusion from the building’s cubic shape was a single smokestack, belching a scarlet red smoke into the atmosphere. A queue of gaunt figures waited at the entrance, herded and coerced by their grim overseers, and there were no words to describe the procession of scarlet ghouls limping out the building’s other end.
“Owing to the nonlinearity of time, the brand new Grand Skinpeeling Machine has spontaneously appeared several years before construction deadlines, and indeed, before it was even conceived of by anyone in our timeline. People have rushed all the way from Malebolge just to try this miracle of technology out on opening day, and so far, the reviews have been stellar!”
He shoved his microphone in the face of a shambling thing that could only scarcely be called a human. Tatters of flesh clung to its exposed musculature, blowing in the wind. Its eyes were the only hint of color in that sea of bloody red, and they were wide, white and terrified. The thing screamed and wailed for as long as it could before the last tendons connecting its jaw to its face snapped, and it was left to choke and gurgle.
“An amazing wail! The results speak for themselves, folks. The Grand Skinpeeling Machine is a hit!”
So far, I was still laughing along and having a good time. The sight of the next ‘guest’, however, started making me nervous.
It was an old lady.
She couldn’t be a day younger than sixty, the sort of sweet elderly woman who in a just world would be cooking chocolate chip cookies for her grandchildren in a comfy cottage somewhere. But here she was, tied to a metal chair, eyes wide, shaking like a leaf. Unlike the last contestant, she seemed to know exactly what was happening.
“In exchange for our loving endorsement, they’ve agreed to loan us one of their star employees. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for: the Liqisma!”
Something slunk from the darkness far behind her — or perhaps it’d be more apt to say that the darkness birthed it whole-cloth. It was like a living shadow, and it took my eyes a moment to register what I was even seeing.
How do I even begin describing this creature? I could say it looked almost human, or at least like something that may have been human long ago. Or I could start with its skin, which was all black and shiny as latex and seemingly smooth on first glance, but if you looked closer you’d realize it was covered in a million tiny reptilian scales, almost like a shark. Its head was a bald man’s, utterly devoid of any distinguishing features, like the basic stock template for a human being. It was notable only for a complete lack of pupils and irises, its eyes a pure white.
Its body defied basic biology in so many key ways, I had to stare it at for what felt like an eternity just to wrap my mind around its physiology. It was at least five or six meters long, by my estimate, composed of multiple human torsos stacked one on top of the other like segments of a centipede, each melding with the ones around it at the waist and shoulders. Each torso sported a pair of short, stubby arms that propelled it with terrifying grace. It ended with a pair of human legs, perpetually bent on their knees, beneath a ‘tail’ that looked more like its coccyx was poking free from its body.
The old last could clearly hear it, and kept futilely trying to turn her head around enough to get a peek at what stood behind her. I mouthed uselessly, don’t. You don’t want to know.
“Glad you could join us again, Miss Wethersby! Judging by our ratings last week, you seemed to have been a fan favorite!”
Her voice was so soft, I could barely hear it below the static. “Oh, God. Please, why won’t you people let me go? I’ve told you, I’ve never done anything, never hurt anybody. There must be some sort of—”
He waved a hand over her, and it seemed to forcefully snap her mouth shut. “Please, Miss Wethersby, save your breath for our questions!” Another cue card. “Your first question, my friend: where did you and your husband buy your first home?”
She had to think about it for a long time. Eventually, she cried out, “Alabama! Tuscaloosa, Alabama!”
“Ding ding ding! Why, you’re already doing better than our first contestant! Next question: what breed of dog was your childhood pet?”
She had a pained look on her face as she thought. Eventually, a timer started ticking down. It wasn’t visible, so it wasn’t clear how much time she had left exactly, but the sound it made got more shrill and high-pitched with every second. “Miss Wethersby, need I remind you that we have a time limit on this show?”
A tear ran down her cheek. “I… I keep telling you people, I don’t know. I have dementia, I can’t remember, please—”
That buzzer again. “I’m afraid that was the wrong answer! Liqisma?” The old lady shuddered at the sounds of hundreds of feet drawing a little closer to her. “Now, your first grandchild. What did he look like? What color were his eyes? His hair?”
She was crying harder now, like it hurt her that she couldn’t remember something so dear to her. “I told you I can’t remember! Why are you doing this to me!?”
“If you don’t remember them, why would they remember you?” The host mocked as the buzzer sounded, and the beast drew a little closer. “Really, do you believe they still even think about you? Or do you think they’re glad that the old bag of bones isn’t there sucking up their inheritance?”
This went on for… God, it could have been an hour. I was glued to the screen all the while, frozen with terror, praying for this nightmare to just end, for her to make it out okay somehow. He poured over every little detail of the life she lived and the people she loved, delighting in how little of it she could still recall.
And the thing grew closer, and closer… until she finally felt multiple pairs of hands resting upon her shoulders. The thing was looming over her now, and a long, black tongue a few feet in length emerged from its mouth and ran trails of dark saliva over the back of her head. She looked broken down, eyes raw from crying, and I could tell by the dampness of her dress that she’d wet herself.
“Now, Miss Wethersby, our time here has been fun, but I do believe it is time for our final question. Tell me, what is the name… of your only son?”
She couldn’t even answer anymore. She just stared ahead, like her mind was a million miles away. He cackled as the buzzer sounded one final time, and threw his cue cards aside. “Thank you for playing, Miss Wethersby. Better luck next time.”
I would say the thing unhinged its jaw like a snake, but that’d be an understatement. The way the thing’s face malformed and wrinkled and stretched as it opened its maw, it no longer looked even remotely human. Its jaws must have parted at least thirty centimeters apart, revealing a second, pharyngeal pair of jaws that lashed out and gripped the woman’s skull, pulling her headlong into that darkness.
I could hear bones crunching and snapping as its throat constricted down around her body, peristaltic muscles compacting her into a meat slurry, bit by bit. Yet she just wouldn’t die. Even as her skull and upper body were already crushed and compacted, organs and muscles pressed into mulch, she still kicked her legs, twitched her fingers, let out a gurgling that must have been some attempt at screaming. She was squirming even as the beast snapped its jaw shut around the last of her, condemning her to whatever torments awaited her inside the creature.
And all the while, that horrible laughter. “Don’t worry, folks! She’ll be back next week! And the next. And the next…”
Needless to say, I wasn’t having fun anymore. In fact, I had to turn away and fight the urge to throw up. I stood, about to turn the TV off and —
“Ah, ah, ah! Don’t touch that dial, now!” I froze. There was something chilling about the way he said that, staring right into the screen as if reacting to what I was doing. I hated that grin on his face. “The real show is just beginning.”
And with the barely restrained excitement of a child on Christmas morning, he yanked back another curtain, and I recognized everything.
I recognized that crappy bootleg knockoff Always Sunny in Philadelphia jacket that was so gaudy and terrible it instantly became her favorite thing in her wardrobe. I recognized those subtle hints of slight acne she disguised as fake freckles. I recognized the way her gray eyes would remind me of those overcast mornings at the beach at Hilton Head and pointing out all the cannonball jellyfish washed up on the sands. I recognized that tattoo of the name ʀᴏᴄᴋʏ, how I’d held her all night long as she cried into my shirt after her childhood cat had died.
It was Lila.
I shuddered, gasped, fell from my seat as if I’d been punched in the stomach and the air had been knocked out of me. I couldn’t breathe. This couldn’t be real. I was dreaming right now. I must be. I just had to wake up.
But I couldn’t wake up. Nothing I could do dispelled the sight of her curled up in that… that thing. That bronze statue of a bull, horns jutting on either side of a head that roaring silently up at the heavens, all while the love of my life was locked in its hollowed out belly, visible only through a pane of glass. I could hear her cry out in shock at where she’d found herself, and every whimper felt like it drove a knife through my chest.
The host soaked in the moment. It was ecstasy for him, the suffering of it all. He stared dead into the camera like he was looking right at me as she called, “What is this? Where am I?”
“Why, I have good news, my dear Lila! You’re exactly where every American dreams of being: you’re on TV.” He pointed to the camera. “And we have a very special guest in the audience tonight. Your very own beloved Jackson!”
I shuddered, hearing my own name ooze from his fetid lips. His façade of perfection was slipping, and there was something so profoundly ugly beneath it. Her eyes snapped to the camera, confused, despairing. “Jackson? Baby? What — what’s happening? What is this?”
I don’t know, I thought, gripping the sides of the TV so hard my knuckles turned white, but I’m going to get you out of there, baby. I’m going to find whoever did this and I’m going to bury them all so far beneath that studio that they’ll never-
“I’m afraid Jackson hasn’t joined us quite yet, my dear. But if you truly love him, surely you’ll give him a show to remember, won’t you?” He taunted her. “All I want, after all, is to ask you a few questions! In fact, I’ll offer you a special deal: get even a single answer right, and I’ll let you go free! But get one wrong and, well…”
On cue, a fire was lit beneath her. Small, smoldering for now, but she whimpered as she noticed the heat. We both realized in that instant what this was. By now, I was screaming things I can’t repeat here, and slamming my hands against the TV screen as if I could reach through and save her.
She bit her lip and acquiesced. Not like she had any room to argue. The host grinned and readied a cue card. “Your first question: where are you, Lila?”
“I… I don’t know. How am I supposed to know?”
“You do know, Lila. You know exactly where you are.” He smirked at her. “Here’s a free hint: what’s the last thing you remember, before you woke up here?
She thought about it… and choked back a sob, visibly shaking as the realization slowly settled in. “But… but why? I… I…”
The horrible wail of the buzzer cut her off. “Oooh, too bad! I’m afraid you’ve run out of time!”
Seemingly as if on its own, the fire doubled in size. Sparks licked the belly of the bronze bull, and began to ever-so-slowly heat the surface. She pawed around in the tight confines, searching for any reprieve from the scalding heat all around her as the metal grew hot like it’d been left out in the sun on a summer’s day. “Please! Oh, God, let me out of this thing! It hurts! It hurts!”
The host seemed to breathe in her pain as if stealing a moment’s indulgence. “Now that there is no doubt about where you are, my dear, let us proceed to the second question.” He switched to his next card. “Did you believe in God, in the end?”
“O-of course!” She pled her case as if she was being tried in court. “My entire life… every day I gave to the poor, helped the sick, did whatever I could to honor Hi-“
“I’m afraid you misunderstood my question. I asked, did you believe in him at the end? The very moment your pitiful little life was snuffed out?”
“I always believed! I’d never forsake Him!”
“Yes, yes, I know. You lived a good and holy life, didn’t you?” He cackled. “But what of the very end? You and your little husband were so excited to deliver your first little baby boy. But o, tragedy! It all went wrong, didn’t it? Your precious little boy didn’t make it through childbirth… and you followed closely behind.”
“That whole business with the botched pregnancy, it was… what do you call it? Ah, yes. A ‘test of faith’. And I’m afraid you failed. In your final moments, you watched the light fade from your child’s eyes, and you assumed — wisely, in my humble opinion — that no ‘kind’ and ‘loving’ God would allow something like that to happen.” He laughed. “Funny how after a lifetime of dutiful service, all it takes is one little mistake at the end… to bring you here. To us.”
I’d never seen such depths of despair in a person’s eyes. Such emptiness. Like with every word, he’d been scooping out another piece of her until she was hollow. And then that buzzer roared again, more shrill than ever, and I could barely see her little window through the smoke and flames. The belly of the bull was turning orange in places, and I could hear her flesh start to sizzle like meat on a grill. There are no words for the noises she made. No words at all.
“And our last, final question,” he continued. “What were your last words to your poor, beloved Jackson?”
“I love you!” I called out the answer. Bloody fingerprints stained the TV screen from my slamming my hands against it, as I screamed the answer over and over. “I love you, I love you, I love you!” At some point, I forgot that there was ever a question. I was just screaming it at her as if hoping that she could hear it, that it could bring her a modicum of comfort in that place.
The buzzer sounded again. I couldn't bring myself to look. All I could hear was the roaring of the bull, and the steam rising from its bronze nostrils.
The curtain fell. Silence drowned the sound. The host dropped all pretense that he hadn’t been speaking directly to me. “Now, Jackson. You just might be one of my new favorite audience members this show had ever had. I know this must have been hard for you. But if you’ll just stay tuned, I have one more show I know you’re certain to love!”
I didn’t bother to touch the remote. After all, nothing could be worse than what I’d just seen, right?
Wrong. Horror wracked me as the curtain rose, and I saw the man chained to a chair. I pulled away like a caveman witnessing fire, cringing and stuttering, face wet with sweat. It was the sort of fear that worked its way into your bones like a bad chill, that left you shaking, teeth chattering.
It was me.
An older me, sure. But not by much. Ten years, maybe. A gaunt and hollow version of me, one twisted by ten years of depression and hard drugs. But it was unmistakable.
His eyes widened as he recognized the host. “Oh — oh God, God please no! It can’t be — oh Christ, let me out of this chair, you —“
“Come, now! We wouldn’t want to use the lord’s name in vain, would we? I mean, that would be a sin!” The host laid a hand on the other me’s shoulder. “It may have been a few years since you watched our program, but I’m sure you remember the rules, don’t you, old friend?”
The other me was wordless, on the verge of hyperventilating, just as I was. The host was giddy with delight. “Now! Our first and only question is one I’m sure our viewer will be very interested in: what sins, exactly, do you think landed you here?”
The other me tried to speak, but the words caught in his throat. I could see it in his eyes. The years of self-destruction, the bitter hopelessness, the whirlpool of nihilism and vice and decay. The suffocating depths of a man. The darkness. How could he put it into words?
The sound of the buzzer was like a pig’s squeal. “Mmm, I’m afraid that our viewer is going to have to figure that out for himself! In the meantime, your punishment? Well, we wouldn’t want to spoil anything…”
The curtains slowly began to fall just as a couple other of those black, grotesque monstrosities emerged from the darkness. The curtain covered them all before I could get a good look at their obscene, twisted, asymmetrical figures. All I could hear was the crunching, the sound of skin tearing like paper, the screaming that went on for longer and louder than a human throat or vocal chords could endure.
The image and audio were beginning to distort, glitch, burn away. The tapes were physically melting as they played. My VCR was starting to overheat, sparks pouring from its front panel. The host voice jumped around in tone, his voice fading into the static blur as the tapes bubbled and boiled and distorted. “But, my friends, I’m afraid that concludes tonight’s episode of our show! So, with a final farewell to our dear, beloved viewer, Jackson…”
Just before the image melted away, the camera seemed to jump forward until his face filled the screen, his eyes piercing into mine as he cackled in that singsong voice.
“See you sooooon~”

I’m very familiar with MBTI but newer to socionics. Whenever I take Socionics tests I end up with one of two results. I’m curious to see if they are completely off base or if I’m charting the right course in my own self reflection. So here is the usual questionnaire for your typing consideration. Thank you for your time!
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?

• I heavily considered skipping this question as I’d honestly rather just have the money to live and have the free time pursue my own ideas and whims. However, I have a Fine Arts degree with Digital Illustration. At one point I considered being an engineer. While I’m good at math & data the construction part of it all seemed so tedious compared to the idea stages. Computer programs always come naturally to me so digital art was no exception and I was able to bring the fantastical ideas I have in my brain to life. Storytelling in particular was always the appeal.
  
• I currently work a very niche retail. I am always tired after it as I can’t stand long-term socialization, feel under-paid and under-appreciated and hate the unpredictable schedule. It is not a difficult job though, has good benefits, and it revolves around a fantasy, imaginative theme that I have in depth knowledge on. I get to personality type as part of it too. I also do freelance illustration on the side, particularly for ttrpgs. I would rather make all my living from home.
  

What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?

• I’m into typology (if that wasn’t obvious) and have been since I was very young. It really helps me to understand the very confusing behavior of humans & their emotions. Prone to rabbit hole diving on the internet for hours and hours, especially when it comes to a current hyper-fixation. I love to learn and know everything about what I’m into. I dream of being one of those people with the old 90s style webpages that have an in depth history of a product dating back from its invention to current day. My procrastinating habit will probably never let me do it though.
  
• Very much enjoy reading. Favorite genres are Fantasy, Psychology & Mythology. I also love deep dive analysis/true crime/psychology videos on youtube. I have a passion for theme parks and their history. I also love music and can play a few instruments and sing. I’m a big fan of D&D and am part of 4 campaigns currently. The character invention is my favorite part of the process.
  

What are your values, and why?

• I don’t think much about values. It doesn’t play much into my day to day but I guess - Independence. Creativity. Autonomy. Balance. Nonviolence. Curiosity. Open-mindedness? It’s easier to come up with values I don’t hold in high regard than ones I do.

Describe your relationships with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?

• Very hands off approach with family. I moved 1000+ miles away from them not because of negative interactions but rather just priority to myself.

Dad: I enjoy his company a lot. We are both very logical and practical and are fine with low communication. He’s always supported my interests, passions, and creativity no matter how weird he found them to be.
Mom: I love her but in childhood she often worried about me being socially behind and would berate me with concerns over finding more friends or a romantic partner. What she preferred to talk about felt very frivolous to me (clothing, family drama ect). Often told me I was too critical to her (“made her feel stupid”) which was never my intention. I’ve known her to be overly emotional and clingy at times but she got me into music and raised me with kindness which I appreciated.
Sister: Has always been the source of frustration for me as she is very reactive, confrontational and requires a lot of attention and affection which I do not give. Very opposite to me.

I will talk about my friends in the next question.
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?

• I have 3 friends plus a partner. 3 seems to be the consistent number in my life as any more and I cannot upkeep the relationships. When I am first making friends it is usually due to sharing the same passion/interests. I need people around me who are privy to the same activities I am - art, computers, ttrpgs, niche media, psychology, ect - so I have topics of discussion that are full of depth and fascination and do not have to struggle through the “how’s your day” sort of thing. It’s important that my friend are accepting of the strange and unusual (we all ended up being queeneurodivergent) not prone to drama or emotional outbursts and not very into outdoorsy/social activities. I don’t do sports (watching or otherwise), clubs, drinking, or parties (I do enjoy intimate social get togethers that I have a purpose/theme, however).
  
• In romance I believe I’ve found the perfect person for me already. My partner is very complimentary. We were friends first and though our personalities were very different we had similar interests. They were sure to not scare me off by taking things very slow. (Ex: I dislike most all physical touch and they were super respectful in always asking for permission to hug me at first) They are much more direct and confrontational than I am and infinitely better with emotions and understanding social dynamics. They’ll do the talking when I don’t want to and push the physical tasks whenever I am struggling to motivate. They remember the little things about me like my preferences in aesthetic, interest and food and if it is a hair wash day or not and are very observant to notice if I have neglected things towards myself like forgetting to eat or drink in a day. Being on equal footing is very important to me. We work together, as a team, always.
  

What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?

• Most recent would be with my sister. Her wedding is this year and I wanted to gift her my artwork for her invitations. We set a deadline and a plan. She texts me, a week and a half before we agreed on and says she’s disappointed it wasn’t done yet - that she believes I don’t care about her or her wedding and never make any effort so maybe I should just forget it. She saw the explanation I gave her when she asked for when it would be done as an excuse. I felt completely confused and blindsided. I sent a screen-cap of the exact timeframe we agreed upon. No, I’m not messaging you about your wedding constantly (it’s your event not mine) I’m doing what was asked of me and making effort the best I can. I made a neutral reply to which she apologized later. Otherwise I can’t think of the last actual conflict I was a part of.

What are your strengths? What do people like about you? What do you like about yourself?

• I’m told often that I am super knowledgable and a great resource. My friends tell me I should write a book due to my ability to understand things quickly and relay them in a digestible but detailed manner. I’m great at editing things (film/graphics/writing). I can come up with many innovative solutions and ideas that others are impressed by. I get complimented on my unique perspective and hard work. I’ve been told I’m approachable and never cause problems. I value my intelligence, logic, open-mindedness and creativity.

What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?

• I struggle motivating myself to start any task that isn’t related to my chosen fixation. I procrastinate even on things I love. I’m not goal oriented and would rather just imagine or research things all day than put anything into action. I’m embarrassingly bad at replying to texts and cannot make phone calls or order at a restaurant without repetitive rehearsal in my head.
  
  • I have been criticized for being apathetic, procrastinating, weird, too private and stubborn. My partner has been upset at me trying to find solutions and seeing all sides when they just wants to express their feelings.

In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?

• I don’t need help with critical thinking, routine, introspection, idea generation, artistry, spirituality, learning, diet, or relationships (I’m good with the ones I have as they are thanks).
  
• I need more help with doing lol. Not letting my idea just stay in my head. Striving for goals and standing up for myself. Not overthinking things. I am also bad at purposeful fitness or making health appointments because it’s very out of sight out of mind. I’ve always been quite healthy naturally but when I’m not I don’t do much to fix it. I just hope it goes away.
  

What things do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more than others?

• I dislike socializing 9/10 or participating in any form of career competition (marketing and networking are awful). Phone calls are anxiety inducing. I hate to be the center of attention unless I’m accurately prepared for it. Surprises in social settings are horrible (please don’t have the restaurant sing to me on my birthday). I don’t get any joy from clubbing, drinking, recreational drugs, gym activities, watching sports or going to the beach.
  
• It’s hard to gauge. I’d say I like researching & brainstorming more than others. I enjoy hypothesizing the meaning and significance of things more than most (like film analysis). Making categorizations and sorting is fun both in my brain and in physicality. I love cooking, taking quizzes, creating playlists and almost never get lonely when I am alone.
  

What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future, and why?

• Just to be happy. I am content with most of my life at the moment. I would like to get a better job, to own a house and to get married to my partner but it is not a pressing priority at the moment.

What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)?

• I have a good eye for decorating. Though, I find I usually only have the motivation when starting in a completely new space. Updating a place after having it for a while happens rarely, slowly, and in only small ways. I lean more minimalist (I hate spending money unless it’s really worth it) but I love creating color palettes, themes and making sure things match. I prefer to be comfortable and for my surroundings to be calming but also reflective of my passions. Making sure things stay tidy is a whole different story, however, as I will leave clothes on the floor and forget to put things away often. It’s gotten better with age and some strategies (like bins to toss things in instead of folding).

If you won the lottery and didn't have to work anymore, what would you do?

• Bold of you to assume winning the lottery would mean I didn’t have to work anymore in this economy (I kid. I kid). No longer having to work would be a dream come true. I’d of course invest & save first to protect myself against any monetary troubles that could arise in the future. After that I would travel. Explore all the places I could possibly want, indulge in specialty items, food and experiences- museums and libraries from all over the world especially. Once I’m done with that, or perhaps even during, I would work on my creative ideas that I’ve felt I never have time for. Writing a book, drawing animatics for my characters, update my portfolio, inventions ect ect.

What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?

• Quirkiness, nonconformity & authenticity in lifestyle is very admirable to me. I encourage when children ask probing questions because too often they are put down for curiosity instead of given answers. I love when people infodump about their interests because even if I may have zoned out I’d want them to listen to me too.
  
• I am annoyed by the emphasis on pleasantries (“How are the kids?, Did you see that new movie?) and how it can impact others opinions of you if you don’t partake in them. Unprovoked advice/demands are always irritating. People comparing themselves, competing or “rating” others or talking a lot about their bodies, is confusing to me and awkward.
  

How do you behave around strangers?

• Depends on the setting really. Default is distant. I never introduce myself or approach first unless it is a requirement. If I am working I am expected to be approachable and friendly but I’m usually mentally checked out and just performing the tasks in those instances. Whatever gets them to leave me alone so I can go back to my thoughts is preferable. I’m never rude, however, and can mask really well. If they are talking about something interesting there’s a chance I might engage on my own or to share my insight. I have a tendency to observe and listen in on others conversations.

How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?

• I avoid conflict as much as I can. I’m really good at going around situations and premeditating what might cause discontentment before it happens. Most all of my friends have claimed to have never seen me angry but would be horrified if I ever was. I find myself to be the bigger person in most cases. I can put on an unfazed expression because it doesn’t really matter. Inside I might feel anxious and raging so I will likely flee as soon as I am able. I’ll process my feelings on the situation later when I’m alone. I’ve never faced physical violence so I can’t really say what I would do there. Observing conflict between others makes me embarrassed and I usually leave the space if I can. I can easily see all sides to a situation but hate the outward explosion of emotions. I will try and be a good mediator if the situation is calm enough for it.

Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?

• I have an etsy for freelance/convention art/commissions/merch so I suppose that counts. I’m not very good at the marketing and networking angle required, just the conceptualizing part. Though I like the idea of the freedom of working for myself at my own pace, I worry I might not be able to keep myself motivated and would rather be a background support to an already existing company. I already struggle with completing the tasks on time. Maybe one day I’ll find something niche enough that could make me money out of my interests.

How do you dress or manage your appearance?

• I dress comfortably but to my personal aesthetic taste. Modest overall. I still have some clothing I’ve had since being a teen for practicality sake. Nothing fancy or specific. I have a particular color palette (earth tones) I chose to only buy so that way it stops me from analysis paralysis in selecting new clothes. I wear minimal makeup just to cover blemishes (to the point my roommate did not realize I was wearing it for years). I have never died my hair and cut it twice a year or so myself as keeping it natural and long is the least amount of maintenance possible. I don’t think about my appearance much unless I’m going to a themed event where I make an effort.

Do you like kids? Why or why not?

• Not much. I’m staunchly childfree and have never found a baby I deemed “cute”. They’re loud, gross and unpredictable and I could never deal with them 24/7. I’m not bad at interacting with them, however, they seem to like me quite a bit. I admire their curiosity and when they are polite. Working with kids is much easier than being around them in my free time.

In what situations or times in your life did you feel most fulfilled, and why?

• I felt quite fulfilled when I completed my first book (Illustrated/written/designed by me) or whenever I get selected as a representative expert on something in order to problem solve or relay information. I don’t care about the attention so much as the validation that my internal view of my skills now has a quantifiable external result.

WILDWOOD, N.J. — Donald Trump on Saturday insulted the prosecutor who has charged him in his ongoing New York criminal trial, speaking at a large rally on the Jersey Shore filled with personal attacks, coarse language and vulgar expressions from the former president and his supporters.
The presumptive Republican nominee called Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg “fat Alvin.” He described New York Supreme Court Justice Juan Merchan, who is presiding over his trial, as “highly conflicted.” And he reprised his accusations that both are “doing the bidding” of President Biden, even though there is no evidence they have coordinated with Biden or his administration.
The attacks were the latest show of defiance against judges and prosecutors from a candidate who is facing 88 criminal charges across four indictments. They were part of a flurry of broadsides or baseless claims that Trump and his backers launched during a beachside rally that marked a return to the campaign trail at the end of another week when Trump spent much of his time in a courtroom.
He said he was indicted on “bulls---” prompting some in the crowd to repeat “bulls---” in response. He attacked former New Jersey Republican governor Chris Christie, winking at the audience, “you cannot call him a fat pig.”
As Trump berated the Biden administration, he asked the crowd: “Everything they touch, turns to what?”
“S---!” the crowd responded.
“You can’t use the word s---,” Trump said, to laughs.
At another point, as Trump complained about the news media, one rallygoer turned to the workspace for journalists, yelling: “You guys suck. F--- fake news. Go f--- yourselves.”
Thousands attended the event on a chilly evening, which marked a blue state detour for a candidate who is trying to balance his four-day-a-week trial and running for president with about six months left until the election. The setting was a change of scenery from a typical Trump rally.
But it included many of the same polarizing features of such a gathering that critics have voiced alarm over, including attacks on undocumented immigrants, whom he accused of staging an “invasion” as he vowed to “stop the plunder, rape, slaughter and destruction of the American suburbs, cities and towns.” He sharply derided his domestic critics and opponents, claiming “the enemies from within are more dangerous to me than the enemies on the outside” of the country. He praised the six Supreme Court justices who overturned Roe v. Wade. And he engaged in meandering asides, including about conversations he has had with celebrities or world leaders.
Trump at one point told the crowd: “Let’s talk about hot dogs, I just had one actually,” before he went on to discuss inflation.
While Trump has spent the past week angrily complaining about his trial, he appeared to bask in the attention from his supporters on Saturday. He spoke surrounded by a roller coaster and Ferris wheel, complimenting his own remarks as a “good speech” and telling the crowd: “Do I feel comfortable with you? I love you.”
North Dakota Gov. Doug Burgum (R), who has been discussed as a potential vice-presidential candidate, spoke at the rally before Trump took the stage.
Supporters lined up early in the day, standing in the sand, some wearing red hats and chanting “Let’s go Brandon,” a term used by some on the right to reference a profane attack on Biden. Many sat in white chairs on the sand, while others farther back brought beach blankets.
The stores along the boardwalk in this predominantly White New Jersey shore town advertised Trump merchandise for those walking toward the rally. One woman working at a store on the boardwalk wore a blue sweatshirt that said “TRUMP STRONG” with red, white and blue rhinestone hoops to match. Another attendee wore a white sweatshirt she bought that said: “This Jersey girl loves Trump, get over it.”
Not since George H.W. Bush in 1988 has a Republican presidential candidate won New Jersey, and nonpartisan analysts regard it as a safe hold for Biden this fall. Yet Cape May County, which includes Wildwood, has voted Republican in every presidential race going back to 2000. Trump performed better in Wildwood in 2016, winning the city by 35 points compared with eight in 2020. He predicted Saturday that he would “win the state of New Jersey.”
Trump last held a rally in Wildwood in January 2020, shortly after Rep. Jeff Van Drew, who represents the area, switched from being a Democrat to a Republican. Trump’s message then was similar to what it was Saturday. At that time, the Senate was holding Trump’s first impeachment trial and he said that “Democrats are obsessed with demented hoaxes, crazy witch hunts.”
Trump advisers said they wanted to hold a rally in Wildwood in part because the South Jersey and Jersey Shore media market overlaps with Philadelphia’s, allowing the campaign to reach voters in the battleground state of Pennsylvania. One adviser also noted New Jersey’s proximity to New York, where the campaign is also considering holding a rally.
“That part of the state is very similar demographically to what you would see in other battleground states that have shifted,” said Mike DuHaime, a New Jersey native and longtime Republican strategist.
Some Trump supporters attending the rally said they were paying some attention to the New York trial, but not following it closely. They echoed some of Trump’s claims about the case, which centers on allegations of falsifying business records related to his repayment of attorney Michael Cohen for hush money to an adult-film actress.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-insults-prosecutor-at-jersey-shore-rally-filled-with-vulgar-jabs/ar-BB1mewQj#

The View from Oregon – 288
Re: Shedding Disconfirmed Theories and False Prophets
Friday 10 May 2024
Dear Friends,
In last week’s newsletter I repeated a claim that I have made previously, specifically, that there is no science of science. As I have been thinking about this claim over the past few years, the consequences of individual sciences (which I often call “the special sciences” in order to distinguish them from science simpliciter) being reasonably well-founded while the enterprise of science itself is, on the whole, not well-founded, have slowly unfolded for me, and every so often I see a new angle to it. I also discussed this in my Wilhelm Windelband and the Place of History among the Sciences, and here the new angle was my realization that idiosyncratic efficacy in science—some people are good at science and others are not—means that individuals and their personalities loom large. This partly explains the heroic narrative of the history of science, treated as an intellectual parallel to Carlyle’s “great man” theory of history.
I have also argued that, contrary to appearances, ours is not a scientific civilization. Many people who have not thought deeply on civilization have asserted that contemporary civilization is scientific. I would say that science plays a crucial role in the development of technologies, but when you step back from all the claims made about science today, it is easy to see that it is not science calling the shots. During the Enlightenment, there was an integration of Enlightenment political thought and science, and it seemed that Enlightenment ideologies translated into state structures (the American Revolution and then the French Revolution) would place science at the center of political deliberations. However, as Enlightenment ideology has developed over the past quarter millennium, it has increasingly diverged from science. With Enlightenment institutions effectively in charge of scientific institutions (higher education, scientific publishing, state funding of science, etc.), Enlightenment ideology has been gradually shaping science to suit its purposes.
If ours were a scientific civilization, it would be science calling the shots, and Enlightenment institutions would be bent to the will of science, and not vice versa. But we can easily see the problem here. Since science cannot make itself fully and completely scientific, science answers to the dominant personalities within scientific institutions, and these personalities can be as benighted and corrupt as any other human beings on the planet. One of things that I have learning by attending conferences over more than a dozen years is that individuals focused on their field can be rational, creative, and interesting in their work, but as soon as they leave their specialization, they are babes in the woods. James Burnham in his The Machiavellians: Defenders of Freedom, made a passing remark about Einstein’s views on economics, and this is very much to the point: an individual can be so gifted that they see something that everyone else has missed, but outside their field they endorse ideas that are insipid.
So if Enlightenment era institutions were bent to the will of science, that would mean little more than that these institutions would be bent to the will of prominent scientists, and prominent sciences are men of their time: they would (and they do) simply repeat the platitudes of the society of which they are a part. This is how Enlightenment ideology triumphs over rationality, no matter how fulsome representatives of the Enlightenment are in the praise of science and rationality. It’s all hollow. It is a political program that is in the driver’s seat. And, invoking this metaphor, we can compare our Enlightenment civilization to Mark Manson’s consciousness car metaphor: reason has the map, but it’s sitting in the passenger seat, while emotion is at the wheel. So it is with our civilization: science has the map, but it is in the passenger seat, while Enlightenment ideology is in the driver’s seat, and it is free to ignore the advice of science (with the map) at any time.
Science in Enlightenment societies is not, however, a perfectly rational actor, in possession of a map that the rest of society lacks. Since institutional science, also known as “big” science, involves large institutions like universities and the government funding that universities receive for their research, these institutions have now shaped generations of scientists after their own image. So, to recur to the consciousness car metaphor, we have to imagine that science is not only sitting in the passenger seat, but that the only thing that science can see is the map it holds, and it must rely on reports from the driver about what the driver sees out the window: landmarks, signs, other traffic, people in the road, and so on, are all communicated to science by the driver, i.e., by Enlightenment ideology, and then science must attempt to figure out where the car is at, and how to get to the next destination. Needless to say, it is the driver making the choice as to what the next destination is to be. Hume, among the greatest of Enlightenment thinkers, said that “Reason is and ought only to be the slave of the passions.” I don’t think that Hume intended this as a prediction, but that is exactly where we find ourselves today.
One could plausibly argue that no institution at the center of a civilization has ever been a pure exemplar of itself and nothing else, a self-contained and autonomous monad, which is what I seem to be implying with the possibility of science practiced according to a science of science, and not according to the non-scientific whims of its practitioners. The institutional religions that served as the focal institutions of pre-modern agricultural civilizations had long histories and were embedded in a social and agricultural context that gave them meaning. We could point to any number of developments in these traditions where it was climate, geography, or available cultivars that were really driving the development of institutional religion, and not the other way round.
Not directly relevant here, but also not entirely irrelevant, I recently realized a structural similarity between Chinese and Western civilization, and this is that the axialization of these traditions did not emerge from a traditional mythology. The Greeks that their traditional mythology, but it was the expansion of philosophy, and especially the turn to moral and political philosophy after the Peloponnesian War, that served the function that appeared in other societies of the Axial Age through the medium of moralizing religions. China, too, has a traditional mythology, which is as marginal and as entertaining as Greek mythology today, but the axialization of Chinese civilization appeared through Confucianism. Of course, it has been traditional to count Confucianism as a religion, sometimes with certain qualifications, but Confucianism is no more of a religion than the tradition of philosophical ethics in Western civilization. I think it would more plausible to argue that Greek philosophical ethics made possible the appearance of the religious ethic of Christianity as it eventually claimed its central status within Western civilization than to argue that Confucianism is a religion.
The two other contenders here for status as an institutional religion determinative of a civilization are Hinduism, and Buddhism, which latter grew out of Hinduism. Zoroastrianism may have been a contender in its day, as Egyptian civilization was once a contender (not as a religion, but as a civilization), but both ceased to be influential before the advent of modernity. We could also count Judaism, but Judaism has never been a proselytizing religion, so it didn’t have the same influence on history of religious traditions that were actively expansionist. Christianity and Islam both appear well after the Axial Age, and, I would argue, as consequence of the Axial Age, continuing to play itself out in history over a civilizational scale of time.
In any case, institutional religions as the central institutions of agricultural civilizations were in no sense pure in their provenance. Why should science need to be pure in its provenance—which, in this context, means being in possession of a science of science that completes the extant special sciences and provides a map for the indefinite elaboration of science? Arguably, science derives its legitimacy from its rationality, and this requirement of rationality can be turned against itself. Analogously, institutionalized religions derive their legitimacy from a metaphysical claim about the supernatural world, however, in the case of institutionalized religion, this claim doesn’t have traction when invoked reflexively.
The supernatural is the gift that keeps on giving: anything unprecedented can be credited to a new manifestation of the supernatural within the mundane world. It is subject to change without notice, so it can literally accommodate anything that happens, or anything that fails to happen. This is not the case with science. Rationality, too, is a gift that keeps giving, but in a rather different sense than the appeal to the supernatural. Disconfirmed theories can be shed as easily as false prophets, but the evidence upon which the disconfirmed theory is built is stubborn fact that cannot be wished away. Not only can stubborn fact not be wished away, but the new scientific theory that takes the place of the disconfirmed theory must not only explain everything that the disconfirmed theory explained, but it must also explain the result of the crucial experiment that became the pretext for the disconfirmation of the old theory. With false prophets it is rather different: any miracles attributed to them can be consistently denied with no knock-on consequences for the institutionalized tradition that managed to rid itself of the unwelcome prophet.
On stubborn fact—which I will assume is one and the same as brute fact—and returning to Windelband, Windelband provided a gloss (also quoted in my Wilhelm Windelband and the Place of History among the Sciences) on this nomothetic/idiographic distinction that is relevant here:

“A description of the present state of the universe follows from the general laws of nature only if the immediately preceding state of the universe is presupposed. But this state presupposes the state that immediately precedes it, and so on. Such a description of a particular, determinate state of the arrangement of atoms, however, can never be derived from the general laws of motion alone. The definitive characteristics of a single point in time can never be immediately derived from any ‘cosmic formula.’ The derivation of the description of a single temporal point always requires the additional description of the previously existing state which is subordinated to the law. General laws do not establish an ultimate state from which the specific conditions of the causal chain could ultimately be derived. It follows that all subsumption under general laws is useless in the analysis of the ultimate causes or grounds of the single, temporally given phenomenon. Therefore, in all the data of historical and individual experience a residuum of incomprehensible, brute fact remains, an inexpressible and indefinable phenomenon.”

The juxtaposition within empirical science that Windelband here describes between general laws and brute fact is the empirical parallel to the problem that the formal sciences face in regard to their foundations. A formal system must begin with axioms (or, today, formation rules and transformation rules, but it’s the same thing), and if we don’t accept the axioms, at least hypothetically, then we can’t go any further. Well, sort of. The knowledge of intuitive mathematics that is formalized in an axiom system could be pursued even if it is never formalized, or never fully formalized. Accepting partial formalizations is like accepting the results of the special sciences without a science of science that can be used as a point of reference that all is well in the special science. This is, indeed, the state of formal knowledge, as full formalization is rare, but it exists as an ideal, and the reasoning that lies behind this ideal has been developed relentlessly over more than two thousand years. The current compromise is to accept axioms in the spirit of hypothetico-deductivism: we don’t claim that they are true, certain, necessary, or anything of the properties traditionally ascribed to axioms; we only claim that we can’t go further in our deductions without accepting an axiom hypothetically.
Empirical science, as Windelband has shown, faces a similar dilemma, but the underlying reasoning has not been as relentlessly worked out. We have to accept brute fact in the same way that the formal sciences have to accept axioms, but in addition to the brute fact we also require the theoretical framework within which the brute fact can be rationalized, and this theoretical framework includes the mathematics that has, as we have seen, its own theoretical compromises. Thus empirical science has a double compromise, with the source of brute fact and with the source of the principles to which it must appeal if it is to rationalize brute fact. With this degree of theoretical complexity, it is no wonder that there is no science of science.
Best wishes,
Nick
PS—In a PS to last week’s newsletter I wrote that I had prioritized rapidity of production over quality of outcome for my video series Today in Philosophy of History. After covering an entire calendar year of philosophy of history birthdays, perhaps next year I will slow my pace of production and focus on producing fewer videos of higher quality. After hitting the highlights, I can then afford to explore lesser known nooks and crannies. I am keeping a list of the philosophers that I have missed or passed over so far in 2024, hopefully to produce episodes on their thought in 2025 (fate willing). For example, I was so focused on the birthdays of Hume and Gibbon on successive days, the 7th and 8th, that I missed Ortega y Gasset’s birthday on the 9th. Hopefully I will be alive next year to record an episode on Ortega y Gasset, whose philosophy of history comprehends several interesting features that deserve more attention. Even prioritizing rapidity of production there is a limit to what I can do, or what I am willing to do. I could have recorded a quick episode on Ortega y Gasset, but I would not have been satisfied with the result. While I can criticize my other episodes, I am at least marginally satisfied with what I had to say.
PPS—I have been staying at my country house in Clatsop County, and today was the nicest day of the year so far. Winters in Clatsop County are wet and cold, and it is mostly miserable to be out in the weather—for comparison, it is the kind of weather you might expect in Scotland, Ireland, or the west coast of Norway. Last week I was still building fires every evening to stay warm, but today was sunny and beautiful. On such a beautiful day it is tempting to stay in the country just to enjoy the peace and quiet, but today I drove to the beach—Peter Iredale beach at Fort Stevens state park. I was at this same beach a few months ago, and it was so cold that it actually hailed at the beach while I was there. Today I was in shirtsleeves and it was warm.
PPPS—The new IBHA newsletter EMERGENCE is available with a Frontiers column by me. This column is about my recent paper, “A Complexity Ladder for Big History.” Some of the ideas in this column will be incorporated into the expanded version of the paper that I mentioned in a PS to newsletter 286.

Newsletter link:

https://mailchi.mp/fd4b450c72c4/the-view-from-oregon-288
​