Marketing is one of the most crucial operation for a Shopify store. There are lot’s of tactics Marketing is one of the most crucial operation for a Shopify store. There are lot’s of tactics to grow quickly and none of them not working. Well, if you looking for a way to create solid marketing plan, then this guide is for you. In this guide you’ll learn

• Definition of Marketing
• Market Research, Competitor Analysis and Defining Your Target Market
• Brand Identity and How to Create Your Branding
• Go-to-Market Strategy and Defining Your Marketing Strategy
• Inbound and Outbound Marketing Channels
• Marketing Plan Template
• FAQs

Definition of Marketing

American Marketing Association defines marketing as activity, set of institutions, and processes for creating, communicating, delivering, and exchanging offerings that have value for customers, clients, partners, and society at large. Source
What do you see here?

1. Marketing is not about activities, it contains activities, set of institutions and process.
2. Function of marketing is not generating sales. It’s creating, communicating, delivering and exchanging offerings that has value.
3. In this post we’ll focus on Shopify stores marketing. However in the big picture marketing has not limited with companies. Marketing can be done within organization or society.

Let’s summarize what marketing definition for a Shopify store. Marketing will create, communicate, deliver and exchange offers that have value for customers. As you can see main subject in here is customers. Because of this, I’ll put customers as the center of this guide. Everything we’ll do has to something with them.

Market Research, Competitor Analysis and Defining Your Target Market

This is a practical guide for marketing so I want to continue with a hypothetical Shopify stores for each steps.
Let’s say we have a Shopify store that has some high-end, organic baby clothes targeting new parents.

Market Research

How can we do the market research?
Let’s say you have a new Shopify store that has less than 500 order per month. You can hire expensive agencies, expensive experts to research the market, create market reports for you, etc. Even if you do that, I highly suspicious if it helps you.
However you can talk with your new-parent friends. Ask them about how do they decide to buy baby clothes? What they are looking for before completing their purchases? Do they get any expert opinion before making buying decision? How do they search online and what they want to see? Is there any great YouTube channels about this.
Don’t have any friends? Checkout your friends not a new-parents but parents and ask similar questions to them. If you also don’t have them, try to make new born friends. I know how hard it is but let’s be honest here. If you don’t know anybody in your target audience, how do you manage to get know them? All of the successful stores I saw they have direct relationship with their target audience.
When you make your research with real people, then you can extend your project to online. Try to search as they do. What do you find? Deep in dive and take your notes.

Competitor Analysis

When you done this market research, you’ll also see there are some other brands. This is a huge subject but let’s call these brands as competitor for now.
Now it’s time to analyze them.

1. Checkout their branding strategy.
2. What are their value propositions?
3. What is hot about them? Return guarantee, free shipping etc.
4. What is not hot about them? Poor product or store design, low UX on the website, etc.
5. What people think about them? Google reviews, Trust pilot reviews, product reviews on the store.
6. Are there any partnership or influencer program they’re running?
7. What is their Google/YouTube campaign strategy? Check it here.
8. What is their Facebook/Instagram campaign strategy? Check it here.

Create a spreadsheet with all of this information. We’ll use this when working on positioning and marketing strategy.

Define Your Target Market

What do you say about our target market? Can all of new parents be our target market?
Nope, it can’t. You need to deep dive into your market and find a sub-segment, a niche that will need your products much better than anybody else and afford it easily.
This is what I called ideal customer profile (ICP). Check out what is ideal customer profile and how to create your ideal customer profile posts to learn more about the concept.
For our hypothetical store, ICP can be something like this;
Demographics

• Age: 25-45 years old
• Gender: Primarily women, but also some men
• Education: College degree or higher
• Income: $75,000+ per household
• Location: Urban areas
• Occupation: Professionals, entrepreneurs, stay-at-home parents

Psychographics

• Values: Health, wellness, sustainability, social responsibility
• Lifestyle: Active, eco-conscious, family-oriented
• Interests: Organic food, natural products, children’s activities
• Media consumption: Social media, parenting blogs, magazines
• Shopping habits: Researches purchases thoroughly, values quality over price

Pain Points

• Concerns about harmful chemicals in baby clothes
• Difficulty finding stylish and affordable organic baby clothes
• Wants to make sustainable choices for their children

Needs

• High-quality, organic baby clothes that are safe and healthy for their children
• Unique and stylish designs that make their children look and feel good
• A brand that shares their values and commitment to sustainability

Buying Behaviors

• Researches products online before making a purchase
• Reads reviews and testimonials from other parents
• Shops at specialty stores and online retailers
• Willing to pay a premium for quality and sustainability

After creating ICP, it’s important to spend some time on empathy map. Don’t forget to check it, too.
Now we know our baby clothes Shopify store market, customer’s buying process and our ideal customer profile.

Brand Identity and How to Create Your Branding

I’ll follow the American Marketing Association (AMA) in here too.
First look at brand definition. AMA defines brand as “any distinctive feature like a name, term, design, or symbol that identifies goods or services”.
Branding is for creating and managing your brand’s identity. It involves your mission, values, culture and public image.
I’m not an expert on brand, but I know how branding can be effective for your conversions and performance. Here are some checklist for you.

1. Design consistency is the key. Your visual identity should be consistent across social media, Shopify store, emails, product detail pages, etc.
2. Copy consistency is the key. Your communication style should be consistent across social media, Shopify store, emails, product detail pages, etc.
3. Experience consistency is the key. Let’s say your brand looks like a high-end brand and when a new visitor visit your store first they see is an annoying popup saying want to get 10% OFF. This is simply how to destroy your brand.
4. Craft a story and stick to it. What makes you create this brand? Faces behind the brand. This is a huge leverage for creating trust and building bonds.

Go-to-Market Strategy and Defining Your Marketing Strategy

So far we identified our target market and ideal customer profile. Check out competitors and creates the branding for our store.
Now it’s time to work on go-to-market strategy and crafting our marketing strategy.

Go-to-Market Strategy

Let’s say you recently launched your Shopify store or add a new line of products.
You need a plan to introduce your store or new products to the market. This is what we called go-to-market(GTM) strategy.
Main goal of the GTM is letting people know that there is a new brand or product line. It’s similar to launch marketing. Key message here is there is a new products/brand launched and it offer the best for you. Give it a try, you’ll love it.
All of your messages and communication should be parallel to this process.
Our focus is convincing people to try our products/brand. So I always offer a special campaign just for the launch to give people to a reason to try your products/brand.
For our hypothetical Shopify store we can run a special campaign for launch like;

• Free shipping until X date.
• 5 different boy and girl bundle with 40% OFF to try our products.

Marketing Strategy

This is your plan of actions to sell or advertise your products. Now we can talk about selling part of the marketing.
Let’s say you have GREAT advertising creatives and a huge budget and just spending it. Don’t wait to crack the code and having lot’s of sales.
Your marketing strategy should be follow sales funnel. If you don’t have a high-converting sales funnel, you can’t expect people to buy from you. Check out How to Build High Converting Sales Funnel For Shopify post.
AIDA Sales Funnel Framework
Now we can continue with our hypothetical store example. We’re selling high-end, organic baby clothes on our store. We crafted our ICP, empathy map, work on branding and created our story.

Example Marketing Strategy

First step we’ll work on attention step. Our focus is getting attention of our target market attention.
We can create a educative e-book like “7 Harmful Chemicals Commonly Used in Baby Clothes and How to Avoid Them” and run some campaigns targeted new parents on social network (Facebook, Instagram or YouTube)
This ads will land on a landing page that gives brief information about why we should pay attention to chemicals in baby clothes for our little ones and make a promise like “I spend my last 5 years about researching chemicals on baby clothes and prepare this book for you and your little one”. Also there can be a quick video about our story explaining our expertise in this field and why we’re building this brand.
We can ask for their email address to share the book with them. When they enter their email address, we’ll send them this ebook.
After first email with the ebook, we can send a few more emails with easy to digest information about chemicals.
This will create an expertise image on our target customers and start to create a bond with them. Not a bad start, right?
At the same time we can use this content on our social media, right? Quick videos, infographics and posts about the chemicals in the baby clothes.
After getting a few thousands subscribers we can organize a webinar to answer questions. This will also a great content for re-used social media content and creating trust and expert image.
Then we can share a time-limited promotion with this people for a bundle. Like we’re running a campaign and these 5 chemical free baby clothes bundles 10% discounted until next week!
We can send emails about it and use this campaign for remarketing for only people who show interest in our e-book and webinar.
This is a very brief template of marketing plan.
Now let’s take a look at more common one.

• Post product photos on social media with lot’s of hashtags
• Run a Meta campaign without any targeting, land people on product detail page
• Give them WELCOME10 discount if they enter their email address
• Send them 15 emails in the next 5 days to maximize your sales.

It’s time for you. Which one do you want to choose? All of the experts recommending this without even asking who are your customers. Can you believe it?
Don’t forget that marketing strategy is not a hope. It’s a well documented plan of actions designed for turning strangers into customers.

Inbound and Outbound Marketing Channels

Inside the marketing strategy, channels plays a vital role. There are lot’s of ways to group channels. I’ll use most basic one.
Inbound Marketing Channels: With the inbound marketing your customers will find you and start the interaction. Most common channel for inbound marketing is organic search engine optimization.
After creating high quality content, when customers search something online, they can see your articles and first interaction happens.
Outbound Marketing Channels: With the outbound marketing you reach out to customers. Facebook/Instagram/YouTube ads, influencer marketing, display ads, podcast ads can be count in this category.
As you can imagine inbound marketing channels takes lot’s of efforts and time however over the time you’ll have organic marketing channel and it brings you customer without needing any budget.
Outbound marketing channels generally works with advertisement models and you need budgets to run these channels.
Most of time I recommend to start with outbound marketing channels and then invest inbound marketing channels overtime. Don’t forget to check Mastering Paid Ads For Shopify post.
Succesful marketing plans should be supported by high converting growth and conversion plans. Don’t forget to check Growth Guide For Shopify and Conversion Optimization Guide For Shopify too.
to grow quickly and none of them not working. Well, if you looking for a way to create solid marketing plan, then this guide is for you. In this guide you’ll learn

• Definition of Marketing
• Market Research, Competitor Analysis and Defining Your Target Market
• Brand Identity and How to Create Your Branding
• Go-to-Market Strategy and Defining Your Marketing Strategy
• Inbound and Outbound Marketing Channels
• Marketing Plan Template
• FAQs

Definition of Marketing

American Marketing Association defines marketing as activity, set of institutions, and processes for creating, communicating, delivering, and exchanging offerings that have value for customers, clients, partners, and society at large. Source
What do you see here?

1. Marketing is not about activities, it contains activities, set of institutions and process.
2. Function of marketing is not generating sales. It’s creating, communicating, delivering and exchanging offerings that has value.
3. In this post we’ll focus on Shopify stores marketing. However in the big picture marketing has not limited with companies. Marketing can be done within organization or society.

Let’s summarize what marketing definition for a Shopify store. Marketing will create, communicate, deliver and exchange offers that have value for customers. As you can see main subject in here is customers. Because of this, I’ll put customers as the center of this guide. Everything we’ll do has to something with them.

Market Research, Competitor Analysis and Defining Your Target Market

This is a practical guide for marketing so I want to continue with a hypothetical Shopify stores for each steps.
Let’s say we have a Shopify store that has some high-end, organic baby clothes targeting new parents.

Market Research

How can we do the market research?
Let’s say you have a new Shopify store that has less than 500 order per month. You can hire expensive agencies, expensive experts to research the market, create market reports for you, etc. Even if you do that, I highly suspicious if it helps you.
However you can talk with your new-parent friends. Ask them about how do they decide to buy baby clothes? What they are looking for before completing their purchases? Do they get any expert opinion before making buying decision? How do they search online and what they want to see? Is there any great YouTube channels about this.
Don’t have any friends? Checkout your friends not a new-parents but parents and ask similar questions to them. If you also don’t have them, try to make new born friends. I know how hard it is but let’s be honest here. If you don’t know anybody in your target audience, how do you manage to get know them? All of the successful stores I saw they have direct relationship with their target audience.
When you make your research with real people, then you can extend your project to online. Try to search as they do. What do you find? Deep in dive and take your notes.

Competitor Analysis

When you done this market research, you’ll also see there are some other brands. This is a huge subject but let’s call these brands as competitor for now.
Now it’s time to analyze them.

1. Checkout their branding strategy.
2. What are their value propositions?
3. What is hot about them? Return guarantee, free shipping etc.
4. What is not hot about them? Poor product or store design, low UX on the website, etc.
5. What people think about them? Google reviews, Trust pilot reviews, product reviews on the store.
6. Are there any partnership or influencer program they’re running?
7. What is their Google/YouTube campaign strategy? Check it here.
8. What is their Facebook/Instagram campaign strategy? Check it here.

Create a spreadsheet with all of this information. We’ll use this when working on positioning and marketing strategy.

Define Your Target Market

What do you say about our target market? Can all of new parents be our target market?
Nope, it can’t. You need to deep dive into your market and find a sub-segment, a niche that will need your products much better than anybody else and afford it easily.
This is what I called ideal customer profile (ICP). Check out what is ideal customer profile and how to create your ideal customer profile posts to learn more about the concept.
For our hypothetical store, ICP can be something like this;
Demographics

• Age: 25-45 years old
• Gender: Primarily women, but also some men
• Education: College degree or higher
• Income: $75,000+ per household
• Location: Urban areas
• Occupation: Professionals, entrepreneurs, stay-at-home parents

Psychographics

• Values: Health, wellness, sustainability, social responsibility
• Lifestyle: Active, eco-conscious, family-oriented
• Interests: Organic food, natural products, children’s activities
• Media consumption: Social media, parenting blogs, magazines
• Shopping habits: Researches purchases thoroughly, values quality over price

Pain Points

• Concerns about harmful chemicals in baby clothes
• Difficulty finding stylish and affordable organic baby clothes
• Wants to make sustainable choices for their children

Needs

• High-quality, organic baby clothes that are safe and healthy for their children
• Unique and stylish designs that make their children look and feel good
• A brand that shares their values and commitment to sustainability

Buying Behaviors

• Researches products online before making a purchase
• Reads reviews and testimonials from other parents
• Shops at specialty stores and online retailers
• Willing to pay a premium for quality and sustainability

After creating ICP, it’s important to spend some time on empathy map. Don’t forget to check it, too.
Now we know our baby clothes Shopify store market, customer’s buying process and our ideal customer profile.

Brand Identity and How to Create Your Branding

I’ll follow the American Marketing Association (AMA) in here too.
First look at brand definition. AMA defines brand as “any distinctive feature like a name, term, design, or symbol that identifies goods or services”.
Branding is for creating and managing your brand’s identity. It involves your mission, values, culture and public image.
I’m not an expert on brand, but I know how branding can be effective for your conversions and performance. Here are some checklist for you.

1. Design consistency is the key. Your visual identity should be consistent across social media, Shopify store, emails, product detail pages, etc.
2. Copy consistency is the key. Your communication style should be consistent across social media, Shopify store, emails, product detail pages, etc.
3. Experience consistency is the key. Let’s say your brand looks like a high-end brand and when a new visitor visit your store first they see is an annoying popup saying want to get 10% OFF. This is simply how to destroy your brand.
4. Craft a story and stick to it. What makes you create this brand? Faces behind the brand. This is a huge leverage for creating trust and building bonds.

Go-to-Market Strategy and Defining Your Marketing Strategy

So far we identified our target market and ideal customer profile. Check out competitors and creates the branding for our store.
Now it’s time to work on go-to-market strategy and crafting our marketing strategy.

Go-to-Market Strategy

Let’s say you recently launched your Shopify store or add a new line of products.
You need a plan to introduce your store or new products to the market. This is what we called go-to-market(GTM) strategy.
Main goal of the GTM is letting people know that there is a new brand or product line. It’s similar to launch marketing. Key message here is there is a new products/brand launched and it offer the best for you. Give it a try, you’ll love it.
All of your messages and communication should be parallel to this process.
Our focus is convincing people to try our products/brand. So I always offer a special campaign just for the launch to give people to a reason to try your products/brand.
For our hypothetical Shopify store we can run a special campaign for launch like;

• Free shipping until X date.
• 5 different boy and girl bundle with 40% OFF to try our products.

Marketing Strategy

This is your plan of actions to sell or advertise your products. Now we can talk about selling part of the marketing.
Let’s say you have GREAT advertising creatives and a huge budget and just spending it. Don’t wait to crack the code and having lot’s of sales.
Your marketing strategy should be follow sales funnel. If you don’t have a high-converting sales funnel, you can’t expect people to buy from you. Check out How to Build High Converting Sales Funnel For Shopify post.
This article first published at MarketingLib.
Don't forget to check Growth Suite on Shopify App Store.

The Purpose of Life for Man

One of the most direct verses on the subject of "the meaning (or purpose) of (human) life" in the Bible can be found in Revelation:

"Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created."-Revelation 4:11

This, of course, should prompt us to ask what exactly does God take pleasure in?
Conversely, what doesn't He take pleasure in?

"Wherewith shall I come before the Lord, and bow myself before the high God? shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves of a year old? Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, or with ten thousands of rivers of oil? shall I give my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?"-Micah 6:6-8

God does not take pleasure in mere outward religiosity and ritual, but rather finds honest acts of love towards Him and others as more important when pertaining to our fulfillment of what God expects from us as His creation. God takes great pleasure in us doing justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly with Him. This is what He requires of us. In other words...

"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil."-Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

The Book of Ecclesiastes is an existential treatise on the futility of finding any meaning or fulfillment in life apart from God. In it, "the Preacher" (or "Teacher" in some translations) explores the limits of human experiences which may provide meaning or fulfillment in this life before the author of the book inevitably concludes that the only thing we can do that has any kind of meaning or permanence in the end is fearing God and keeping His commandments. The reason for this is because the march of time and our own mortality effectively make most human endeavors hevel. The Hebrew word "hevel" is translated as vanity in the King James.
The following is taken from BibleProject:

In Hebrew, hevel literally refers to “vapor” or “smoke.” The teacher uses this word 38 times throughout the book of Ecclesiastes as a metaphor to describe how life is temporary and fleeting, like a wisp of smoke, but also how life is an enigma or paradox. Smoke appears solid, but when you try to grab it, it’s like nothing is there.

[...]

The author’s basic goal is to target all of the ways we try to build meaning and purpose in life apart from God and then let the teacher deconstruct them. The author thinks that people spend most of their time investing energy and emotion in things that ultimately have no lasting meaning or significance. And so he allows the teacher to give us a reality check.

The Preacher gives us a "reality check" by demonstrating how time and death effectively make things like scientific and artistic discovery (1:10-11), mirth (2:1), alcohol (2:3), architecture (2:4), amassing property (2:7-8), and luxury (2:8) all hevel. Materialism and hedonism fail to fulfill, and though wisdom and righteousness are acknowledged by the preacher to be advantageous, the righteous and wise are still often victims of injustice and unfairness in the world while the wicked get to prosper and have longevity at times (1:13-18). Generally, your life will probably be better by living in the wisdom given in Proverbs (Ecc. 7:11-12; 9:13-18), but it's no guarantee that you will have a good life as bad things still happen to good people, and good things still happen to bad people. This isn't entirely "hevel" but it's confusing and disorienting because things don't always work out the way we think they should in this life.
Again, from BibleProject:

So what’s the way forward in the midst of all this hevel? Paradoxically, the teacher discovers that the key to truly enjoying life is accepting hevel, acknowledging that everything in your life is totally out of your control. About six different times, at the bleakest moments in his dialogue, the teacher suddenly talks about “the gift of God,” which is the enjoyment of the simple, good things in life such as friendship, family, a good meal, or a sunny day.
You and I can’t control the most important things in our lives. Nothing is guaranteed, and, strangely, that’s the beauty of it. When I adopt a posture of complete trust in God, it frees me to simply enjoy life as I actually experience it and not as I think it ought to be. In the end, even my expectations about life, my hopes and dreams, are all “hevel, hevel. Everything under the sun is hevel.”
The teacher’s words come to an end, and the author takes over, bringing the book to a close. He says that it is very important to hear what the teacher has to say. He likens the teacher’s words to a shepherd’s staff with a goad, a pointy end that will hurt when it pokes you. But that pain can ultimately steer you in the right direction towards greater wisdom.
The author warns us not to take the teacher’s words too far. You can spend your entire life buried in books trying to answer the existential puzzles of human life. Don’t exhaust yourself, he says. You’ll never get there. Instead, the author offers his own conclusion that we should “fear God and keep his commands; this is the whole duty of humans. For God will bring every deed into judgment, every hidden thing, whether good or evil” (Ec. 12:13-14).

Fearing the Lord doesn’t guarantee success in this life, but it is the right thing to do, and ultimately God will clear the "hevel" and bring His justice on all we have done. Therefore, we ought to keep God's commandments.
Through Jesus, we see the Bible clearing the confusion many have, and still have, about God's commandments and what exactly they are (in essence, at least):

"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."-Matthew 22:37-40

The apostle Paul puts it like this:

"For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."-Galatians 5:14

The apostle John, like this:

"And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him."-1 John 4:16

In other words, the first and second greatest commandments can be seen as inextricably intertwined, as one cannot truly love God without loving their fellow man, and vice versa.
So, to put it bluntly, the meaning, or purpose, of (human) life according to the Bible is simply love.

"What Does It Mean to Love Biblically?"

But, what exactly is love anyway? We know that, according to the apostle John, God is love. But, what does that mean exactly?
The ancient Greeks had anywhere between four and eight different words for love (depending on the source):

• Storge: affection
  
• Philia or Phileo: friendship
  
• Eros: sexual, erotic
  
• Agape: unconditional, divine, selfless
  
• Ludus: flirtatious, playful, casual, uncommitted
  
• Pragma: committed, long-standing
  
• Philautia: self-love
  
• Mania: obsessive, possessive, addictive, dependent
  

The word translated as "charity" in the KJV's rendering of 1st Corinthians 13 is agape. A more accurate translation of the word would be "love," more specifically, the love of God. In this passage, Paul talks about the importance of having this kind of love for others compared to all the things we might typically obsess over concerning the things of God. Even things like charity to the poor itself, if not motivated by agape, does not impress God! Our motivations and heart matter to God just as much, if not more, than our actions themselves.
This is what the Bible defines as true love, or at least, is the kind of love it's most concerned about.
In order to demonstrate to another that we love them, we sacrifice something. For God, He sent His only begotten Son to die for our sins (John 3:16). For Jesus, he sacrificed himself to save us from our sins:

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."-John 15:13

In essence, true love is self-sacrifice. Putting others before ourselves is the greatest kind of sacrifice.
God didn't have to send His Son, but He did. Jesus didn't have to accept the mission, but he did.
God loves you, and Jesus loves you.
We demonstrate to others that we love them by sacrificing our wants and desires for them. These sacrifices can range from really small, to really big. Loving others is a daily practice of making greater and greater sacrifices.

“You can will to love people. Love is not a feeling. Love is a willing, and the Lord says to love people. He did not mean [to merely] feel love for them” — A.W. Tozer

A stumbling block for many in their walk with God is the inability to love one's enemies and to love unlovable people as Jesus did. It’s difficult for us to show love to people we don’t feel love for; to people we despise or dislike. We also tend to struggle with extending grace and mercy to those who’ve hurt us. I myself often wonder whether I am even capable of loving everyone the way Jesus does.
As I grow in my faith, I realize it’s not that I’m incapable of loving like Jesus; I’m just not always willing to. My unwillingness to love indicates that I am unwittingly adopting the worldly view of love, which is based on feelings and merit. I am choosing not to love people I feel are underserving of my love. The more I study Scripture, though, the more I realize Biblical love is not a feeling or an emotion; it’s a decision. It is an action, and it’s sacrificial. It’s not something you feel; it is, again, something you practice.

“Biblical love is a choice to do good for another person regardless of what we feel. It is a decision to compassionately and righteously pursue the betterment of another person. This is why you can even love your enemies according to Christ’s command.” — Tony Evans

Jesus commands us to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30). He also said, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another” (John 13:34). Since the Lord commands us to love, that means it is within our power to do so; therefore, love is a decision we make. Although feelings will accompany love, it’s not an emotion; it’s the decision to love regardless of how we feel.
As believers, we’re taught to love our enemies, and do good to those who hate us, and if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, "turn to him the other also" (Matt. 5:39). It’s not easy to do; hating our enemies comes naturally to us because of our evil nature. It is impossible to love our enemies on our own strength; we need the help of the Spirit of God.
The decision to love your enemies arises from the decision to obey the will of God and the desire to be Christlike. We choose to love our enemies because God said so and loved us first. Jesus said we are to love as he loved us.

“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”-Romans 5:8

So Biblical love is sacrificial love. It is not a feeling but an act of will; the desire to put the welfare of others above your own. This type of love is not a love based on affection or emotion. Instead, it’s agape love, a love that is not concerned with self but is concerned more with the good of others.
We are not going to like everyone, nor are we called to; we are called to love everyone regardless of how we feel about them. It’s possible to love someone without feeling love for them when we decide to love everyone the way God loves us. The more we love through our actions, the decision to love will become a choice the heart is more willing to make.
Again, this doesn’t mean you will like or feel love for everyone, but when you put your trust in the Lord and pursue wisdom and holiness through prayer and Scripture, you will naturally develop a love for others.
To put it succinctly: Biblical love seeks the best interests of others, even our enemies, often to the detriment of ourselves. "Best interests" here doesn't necessarily mean what the other person thinks are their own best interests. It just means we do for them what we know or believe is best for them, and what we know or believe is best for them should be informed by an active participation with the Spirit of God and by His Word (the Bible) itself. Feelings may or may not accompany this, but how we feel towards the other is not what determines whether or not we're exhibiting the love of God, in the view of Jesus and the apostles. In their view, it's about whether or not we can still decide to seek the best interests of those who might harm us, or who we might not even like.

What the Real Heavenly Treasure Is

Now, this all brings us to an important question that needs to be answered: Is it wrong to love God and others while making a reward the objective for doing so?
We must ask this question, because all throughout Scripture we are told that the faithful followers of God will be "rewarded" some day for everything they've done to merit this. Giving an exhaustive list of passages that proves this point would be endless, but here are some examples of just a few:

"Then said he also to him that bade him, When thou makest a dinner or a supper, call not thy friends, nor thy brethren, neither thy kinsmen, nor thy rich neighbours; lest they also bid thee again, and a recompence be made thee. But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind: And thou shalt be blessed; for they cannot recompense thee: for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just."-Luke 14:12-14
"I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive."-Acts 20:35
"But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil."-Luke 6:35

The answer to this question depends on what we define as "rewards." Most will typically adopt some vague idea of material possesions that await the believer when they get to heaven as one's reward for faithfulness towards God, or that the reward is simply an escape from punishment for one's own sins, or perhaps even some combination of these things both.
However, none of these are the "rewards" the Lord is promising to those who obey the first and second commandments. If they were, our motivation to love God and others would ultimately be selfish. Think about it. Our motivation for rewards would inherently be me-centered, and not other-centered.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ gives the following command:

"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."-Matthew 6:19-21

We know there are heavenly treasures, because Jesus says so, but what are they? The issue of heavenly treasures or eternal rewards is riddled with question marks. It’s a subject that has been abused by some (“Store up treasure by giving to my ministry”) and left in the too-hard basket by others.
But the answer here is simple, and two-fold. One of our rewards are God Himself:

"After these things the word of the Lord came unto Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward."-Genesis 15:1
"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."-Hevrews 11:6

What is the reward of the seeker but to find that which is sought? If you are searching for God, you will find Him and He will be your very great reward.
Now, if you are the newest believer or the eleventh-hour worker, you will be as richly blessed as the oldest, most faithful saint. Eternity will not be divided into the haves and have-nots, for we are all one in the New Jerusalem.
But we can distinguish God our reward from the heavenly treasure that Jesus said can be stored up. You cannot "store up" more of God, after all.
So what are heavenly treasures? The answer may surprise you, but it’s people.

"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward."-Psalm 127:3

What is the only thing you can take with you? People, a.k.a. eternal friends, a.k.a. spiritual offspring. This Psalm is not just talking about biological children. God has bigger plans for you and they involve spiritual children. Lots of them. Dozens. Hundreds. Thousands. Millions. Don’t limit God.
So much time and effort is spent debating heavenly treasures as though they were some great mystery. What are they? Jesus makes it plain: it's people.

• Just as Abraham was called to be the father of many nations, so are you.
  
• Jesus said those who followed him would be fishers of men. What is a fisherman’s reward? It’s fish, or people in this case.
  
• What is the reward of the one who sows and waters the good seed? It’s a harvest of people.
  
• What is treasure that never wears out and cannot be stolen? It’s people.
  

God's heart cries, “I treasure children. The more, the better!” In Matthew chapter 5, Jesus introduces God as our heavenly Father. In Matthew chapter 6, Jesus says God is a Father who rewards us. And what is a father’s reward?
It is children.
“Sounds great, but I am no evangelist.” You don’t need to be an evangelist to win eternal friends. Believers can live such godly lives that unbelievers will be won to the kingdom (1 Pet. 2:12; Matt. 5:16).
God's desire is to grow the world’s largest family and He treats people like treasure. This is obvious once you see it. Indeed, it’s a theme that runs throughout Scripture:

"For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God: the Lord thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto himself, above all people that are upon the face of the earth."-Deuteronomy 7:6
"For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God, and the Lord hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself, above all the nations that are upon the earth."-Deuteronomy 14:2
"And the Lord hath avouched thee this day to be his peculiar people, as he hath promised thee, and that thou shouldest keep all his commandments;"-Deuteronomy 26:18
"To whom coming, as unto a living stone, disallowed indeed of men, but chosen of God, and precious, Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ. Wherefore also it is contained in the scripture, Behold, I lay in Sion a chief corner stone, elect, precious: and he that believeth on him shall not be confounded. Unto you therefore which believe he is precious: but unto them which be disobedient, the stone which the builders disallowed, the same is made the head of the corner, And a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offence, even to them which stumble at the word, being disobedient: whereunto also they were appointed. But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;"-1 Peter 2:4-9

Like Jesus, Paul eagerly gave to the poor (Gal. 2:10). He did not give out of religious duty or to put a shine on his reputation. He did it because he loved people and wanted to share the love of God with as many as possible (1 Cor. 13:3).
Life is a gift that is easily wasted. We can waste it running after inferior rewards that rust, or we can do what Jesus and Paul did and invest ourselves in the only reward that lasts: people.

God Is Faithful

Someone once asked me, "Why would God be concerned as to whether or not we 'have trust and confidence in him' when He's judging us and when He determines what our fate will be?"
Having trust and confidence in God, according to the Biblical authors, is required for us to fulfill His commandment that we love Him, and thus also love others. (See Hebrews 11.)
As with a spouse, you cannot truly love them if you do not have some level of trust or confidence in them, and vice versa. All relationships require trust, from both parties. God wants us to trust Him that He will keep His promises towards those of us who love and follow Him. He also wants to trust us that we will enter the kingdom of heaven with a righteous and loving character. He doesn't want another rebellion in paradise, so He's trying to see if we truly love righteousness for righteousness' sake. A truly righteous person wouldn't want to rebel against Him when the time comes that they enter the kingdom of God themselves, because a person with a righteous character wouldn't ever do such a thing.
As Open Theists, we believe we're being consistent in our belief that God, at times, puts trials before us to test whether or not we will remain trustworthy enough in our character to be deemed worthy of entrance into His kingdom. The Classical Theist doesn't have the luxury of being consistent if they have this same belief.
In the Book of Job, Satan makes an accusation towards someone God has deemed as truly righteous: Job.
Satan assails God’s wisdom and character in running the world by alleging that people only serve Him because of what they get out of it. God protects them from disaster and blesses them in other ways. Their obedience, he is suggesting, isn’t really a free choice. "There is no genuine virtue in the world," Satan is claiming. "There are only self-serving bargains, and obedience for the sake of being protected and blessed is one of them. Hence, true holiness and virtuous obedience are an illusion." "Take away a person’s protection," Satan insists, "and let me have my way with people, and they will stop living for God" (Job 1:9-11; 2:4-5).
God has so much faith in Job that he will not succumb to proving the false accusations being levied towards him and God's way of running things in general that He ends up accepting the challenge. For God, this is as much a test of His faith towards His servant as it is for Job for his Lord. The adversary, we see, was assailing God’s integrity and wisdom in overseeing the creation. Satan was, in effect, accusing God of being a Machiavellian ruler. In the context of this narrative, it was an assault that could only be refuted by being put to the test.
Had God simply forced Satan into silence, without proving him wrong, it would have simply confirmed the accuracy of Satan’s charge. It would have shown that there is no integrity or wisdom in how God runs the world after all. "There is only the exercise of power, used to manipulate beings into obeying Him. People serve God only as a bargain, not out of genuine love."
No, the challenge had to be answered by having it put to the test. The most righteous man on the earth was thus chosen to be tested. If Job failed, the narrative suggests, then Satan will have made his point. If he succeeded, however, then God’s wisdom and integrity in running the cosmos will have been vindicated. Hence, the protective fence around Job is removed and Satan is allowed to afflict him.
In the end, Job proves faithful to God and is even referenced in the New Testament as an example of the kind of faithfulness He expected of first century believers facing persecution and trials:

"Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy."-James 5:11

While most of us aren't dealing with the life-threatening kind of persecution that believers faced in the first century, for the very fact that the eschatological end of physical Israel and the Old Covenant system was fastly approaching for them (and already has approached), we still each face our own trials that God puts in our lives as individuals to see if we truly love Him. Job is simply the ultimate example of one who loved God because they chose to, not because God forced them to.
After all, you never know if your love is pure if it isn't tested...

At school in the mid-eighties I began reading a book about a nuclear war. A boy shelters from a storm in a hillside bunker while walking his dog. He’s listening to the thunder crashes and there’s one particularly loud one that shakes the hill. On leaving he sees nuclear devastation and guesses that the loud thunder crash must’ve been a nuclear explosion.
I never finished it but remember a friend talking to our English teacher about being shocked that the town poisoned a well reserved for people with radiation sickness.

So the day before Mother's Day, my husband (M34) tells me (F35) we are going to do a day trip with our toddler (age 4) to local city and I am so excited but I realize I am also so behind in house chores due to my stressful job and lack of consistent help from my husband.
So I tell him thank you but no trip and that we need to stay home and clean. He says he needs to leave that morning which I already know means he is going to go get flowers. So I offer to make breakfast because I woke up in a great mood.
He comes home with flowers in okay condition, some are wilted and gives me a sweater that he says I asked him to buy me for Mother's Day which I do love the sweater.
So I make pancakes for the family, pancakes with bananas, peanut butter drizzle and whipped cream and I don't have any due to dieting.
My husband asks me what the plans are today and I said I would love for us to get some things done around the house, he has had the ladder out for a couple days so I asked him to take down the Christmas decorations and pick up and also put ladder away and watch our toddler because I would be upstairs with the power tools dismantling our shelves to add in some different shelving and organizing the closet.
All the while I am talking he is working on a 3d print for his friends birthday in a few days.
I go upstairs and 30 minutes in, my toddler is climbing on me and I wait for my husband to collect him and... nothing
So I figure maybe he sent him because ladder plus toddler is not the best combo so I put the power tool away and just organize clothes and he never comes back up to get him, so I call him and he goes "oh yeah just send him down" and I ask if he can just come and get him and he does.
So two hours pass and I go downstairs to check on them and ask about lunch for them and they are watching TV and nothing is done, no dishes from this morning cleaned, no Xmas decorations taken down and I make my toddler a snack and go back upstairs to calm down before calling my husband and asked him why he hasn't cleaned. He said because he thought we stayed home so I could clean and not him. And alI I am doing is working on a room, we don't even use (It's a walk in closet in our bedroom)
I reminded him I said we and asked him to do several things this morning which he said "Oh, I thought that was something you asked me to do a couple weeks ago"
At this point I am just disappointed with the day and over it.
He does do the dishes, takes down the Xmas decorations and cleaned up and now we have to go see my family for dinner which I do not want to because they are very blunt and will want to know why I am such a sad state.
Luckily the toddler falls asleep in the car, so I have the great idea after we find out he is asleep to just give gifts since we are already hour late for dinner and leave and pick up food for the toddler after.
So I drop off the gifts, we leave to go another place to order food and I asked my husband if he can go in and get food and he says no and I ask him he wants anything and he says "No just go just go " I told him I rather not because it's very rude for him to rush me to leave and he says he was only doing that because he had to sneeze....okay....so I said "Just go home please, we can make something there"
So now he is pissy and accuses me of using him as a taxi driver and I just go off...
"This is supposed to be Mother's Day, the one day you treat me special and loved and show me you appreciate me. You got me some wilted flowers and a sweater. Thank you but it's Day, not two gifts Mother stuff"
Now he is pissed and saying I am ungrateful and he shouldn't have gotten me shit and I am the problem and I don't do shit for him. All day he watched our son and cleaned. He also said he didn't know how to make me feel special.
He normally does not curse at me so I said this not you talking. This your dad talking to your mother. (Not my best moment and I will admit it)
Welp that got him all riled up and we didn't talk the rest of the night or next day.
When I finally said I was still upset about yesterday, he goes "Of course, you are." and walks away.
When we finally do talk, he says that he was offended I would rather stay home then do his idea of a day trip to local city and I said the flowers were wilted and he got me a sweater and he cleaned after I told him too. He also said he felt ignored and like I didn't wanna hang out with him because I was organizing the closet. He said he felt unloved.
So am I the asshole?
Quick Q&A
Married for 12 years and together for 15 years
We have had issues with all holidays but even more since our son was born so couple years ago I gave him a list of my likes, links to things to do for your wife for birthday,and things you can do for free to make your spouse happy (he makes six figures but I think gifts can be acts of service as well) but he still says he doesn't know how
We are currently in couples therapy but he seems to try to manipulate the sessions?
Example, he wanted to go on a trip to buy video games stuff and we had already gone out of town the day before to buy video games stuff so I said Our grass at both houses need to be mowed, I think that needs our attention and if he isn't something he can do the he needs to hire help to which he replied That why can't I help him and I don't do anything to help him ever but to the therapist he goes oh I just didn't wanna do the lawn because it had rain the day before and the grass was wet and it was early. I asked him why he wasn't able to tell me that in the moment or revisit for the whole week and half after because I didn't know that and he was still able to mow later that day but only one house. He said he didn't know why he didn't tell me and it was dumb to argue about the lawn but I said the lawn is just a symptom of the greater issue which is lack of communication on both of our parts
Fathers Day and Birthday I used to go all out but I realized I wasn't getting the same energy so I stopped 1st Father Day I asked him what he wanted to do and he said spend the day together I got him and our son matching shirts, classic car pint glasses, socks with our son's face on them, a photo book of them of the photos during the year of them I had taken and I made this favorite foods all day 2nd Father's Day I asked him what he wanted to do and he was spend the day together but he had to work so when he got home from work, I had his favorite pizza, favorite pop, matching shirts with our son, pizza cutter and pizza pan because he had mentioned we didn't have one and photo album of pictures from the last year of him and our son
When I had another disappointing Mothers Day ( I had asked to have 3 hours alone and sent him a link to some earrings and I got no time alone and no earrings but he did get me beautiful flowers and chocolate covered strawberries. We went to the lunch with my family and I asked him to only pay for us and my mom and he ended up dropping like $275 on my whole family for brunch very nice but we had conversations about how he was able to do that but get me no gifts) I think his heart is the right place because he is a good guy
3rd Father's Day I got him a card, beer and a some jerky and he said he didn't feel loved because it wasn't as nice all the other Father's Days he had in the past and he doesn't know how to make sure I have a nice Mother's Day and I asked him he could use the list I gave him or just mimic what I do and customize it to fit his style. He said he would try and that led us to this Mother's Day.

Momma made for Pennywise, at her request, an “Annabelle” doll. A Raggedy Anne doll, really. Just like the original haunted doll, movie tropes aside.
Penny’s had it for a while now, and still treasures it. She took it to school for show and tell not long ago, and another girl that she’s befriended fell in love with it.
Pen asked Momma if she could make another just like it just for her.
She’s been working on it for a while now, as she’s had time, and got it finished just today. Gonna give it to Penny to give to her friend.
“It’s perfect” I commented. Can’t tell the two of ‘em apart. A certain girl’s gonna be very happy and surprised. You went to a lot of trouble for someone you don’t even know.”
“I enjoyed it. She’s Penny’s friend, and Penny asked me to. How could I say no?”
Would’ve taken her less time, but she’s a perfectionist. Every tiny stitch and detail has to be just right.
Always been that way. When I first started seeing her, she was working two jobs. A weekend carhop (how I met her), and her full-time job keeping the books and handling payroll for a cotton gin.
I went to pick her up for lunch one day, and sat and waited for two hours while she tracked down a discrepancy and balanced her books. They’d been off by two cents, lol.
Just her nature. I marveled at her. She never left our place to go out in public unless she was looking her best. And for such a tiny girl, she walked tall. Head up and back and shoulders straight and proud. Stalked like a young lioness and moved like a ballroom dancer. Water flowing over stone.
That afternoon of our (now late, lol) lunch date, I still remember the drive. Wind through the window whipping her long hair. She smiling because she knew I kept stealing glances at her.
She took me to a place she said I’d like in another town. Small family owned and operated local restaurant that had been in business for decades. Advised me to let her order for me.
The place was doing a brisk business still, as I followed her to the table she wanted. She drew lingering glances from most of the people in the place. Men, and some women, too. Then I was only beginning to realize just who and what I’d found.
“She’s very ladylike” my Captain once remarked to me. She’d come to see me at work, and he’d watched her, smiling. “She certainly carries herself like one.”
“That she does, Sir. That she does.”
He gave me some advice just before she and I were to be married:
“I’m going to tell you something, OP: it really Will be her and you against the world. That’s not just a saying. You will put her First in all things. Before yourself, before friends, before family, before the Marine Corps. She comes first, always. Do that, and you won’t go wrong. Consider that an order, Sgt, understand?”
“Lima Charley, Captain.”
Good advice.

Oh how sad I am. I've been planning this escape for years. And now that I'm finally here, with one more night on my... not-really-a-bed, just a... mat-on-the-floor with blanket and pillows...
I sob. Sob and cry and wonder why I feel all this pain. I'm the one who wanted to escape. To live my life to the fullest. To do all the things I love. To draw and sing, to wear my hair down and bake, to make friends and wear cute dresses, to have cats and be with the man I love and oh gosh how lucky I am that he loves me dearly and wants the best for me. He and his mum supported me so so much. My friend too. They are my chosen family.
But... why am I feeling so horribly sad...? Its because I'll never see my parents or siblings again. I feel so bad for my mum because she allows people to use her and by that I mean she does everything for my grown ass siblings. And my extended family all use her a lot too.
About my mum.
Sadly, shes religious. Prays constantly. Always telling us to pray. Donates money to needy. Forced me to pay zakkah. Buys counters to constantly recite, it's like digital tasbeehs and stuff to use wherever without looking or counting. You just press and then you get your number on a screen. She takes care of her mum sometimes. Often cooks for her. She often watches her sisters kids because her sister, my aunt... is ever so social and kinda just expects my mum to baby sit them. My mum cooks almost every day. Usually every other day because my dad refuses to eat old food. And when I say cook I dont mean something easy like whip up a pasta. I mean dishes that take at least more than 2 hours to cook. Mind you though, hes a chef and does cook sometimes in the house. But since he works he expects mum to cook and honestly if I were a man, I'd want that too. To come home from work to good food. Anyway...
I have siblings. One of which is a piece of good for nothing shit. Uses and abuses mum psychologically. For real. It's so sad. And mum enables this shit because she believes it's not actually my siblings behaviour. It's apparently a ghost. My other siblings are not of legal age yet. I will miss them terribly. They... will have to grow up a lot. Mum does a lot for them. Cooking. Cleaning. Honestly, I dont cook because mum does it. Nor clean. I avoided being with mum and basically without realising it, did that rock technique with her. Where I basically diffuse the conversation and stuff because I hate talking about Islam and just avoid being around her and stuff. I forgot what the technique is actually called.
I love her. Even if I'm sure her love for me is conditional. I wish to keep contact with her. But I worry about her health. Diabetes and general pressure issues. If she dies, my dad wont be able to take care of my siblings. My dad will cook for them and teach them how to travel to school and stuff. But besides that, he wont know about their medical conditions or history, he cant speak much English just some. He is smart but also not really? It's weird.
Mg siblings and mum is who I worry for most. The two siblings who arent over 18 yet. I dont care for the other one because they ruined my life and became such a horrible person. I get some of it is mental health issues so they need help but I'm speaking very specifically of their character before all this began.
Anyway. I escape tomorrow. Today is technically my last day ever with my family. I do love them. I wish to text or call them from time to time but I do think a period of no contact may be necessary for both them and myself to kind of... let this choice I made sink in. I've bought games for my younger siblings where we can chat and hopefully they keep this private. I do believe that they may understand me when they reach a certain age and be more accepting than my parents.
In my letter, I'm not sure if I should say I left because I wanted to live my life or because "God guided me" and play that card. I'm semi atheist. Sometimes I believe in God and other times I dont. Right now km not really sure what I am so I say semi atheist. I will cry and cry and cry after I've made it to my partner. He and his mum will hold me close and tell me I'm safe and loved and deserve to choose the life I want. I have support. We are gonna do so many things together that we couldn't before!
I'm an artist. In so many ways. I had to hide my art with my family. With my partner, he wanted them all displayed. For Christmas, I drew portraits, more like fantasy portraits of him and his mum and his cat. They still have it displayed in their house. It warms my heart. I draw, sew, sculpt with clay, paint sometimes, do traditional pencils drawings with colour and without, digital art, pixel art for working on my game, make plushies and I plan to sew my own dresses, I like styling my hair although my hair is pretty damaged sadly, no not with heat products, more of just unhealthy hair. What else...? I just love making things with paper like water fall cards and spinning cards and pop up books. When I confessed to my partner, at the time he couldn't be with me because he wanted to make sure he was ready, I made him a well designed pop up book. It had stuff we liked, camping, gaming, sleeping, loads of pop up and sliding elements. Then on our 1st anniversary, I made him an explosion box. He was absolutely in shock as he opened it over Skype. I plan to make an even better gift for next time. For Christmas he attempted something similar, he is very creative too. He made me a book of himself. Like a little toy for my to hold around with funny comments and his cat kinda touring me through his weak knee joints Haha and his heart which loves me 100% and his little nose which if I boop, doesnt do anything, nor the the little mole he has on his face. All these drawings and details, I love it so much.
Why did I write all that... I'm trying to cope right now. I want encouragement. I'm scared. But I know I have to do this. I dont want to cry or be sad. I wanna be happy because I have this opportunity to run away move out and be free. I've saved and saved enough for at least a few years. But I'll be getting a job in the new country after I learn the language officially. By going to school to learn the language I'll keep myself occupied and busy. At my partners house we will be playing games ans cuddling and making Lego stuff and drawing and going for walks and watching films so I know I'll be happy.
I just also know I'll wonder how my family are and worry those thoughts will eat into my happy time. I dont know how to go about this.
Please... I wanna move out on happy terms. I deserve to live. To think 7 years ago I was going to take my life because I prayed constantly to God and he didnt seem to reply to it... and then I became an ex Muslim and found a new friend and then a another one of which who became my partner... I never would have believed if someone told me, hey in some years you'll move away from your family have a loving boyfriend and be free from religion. I'd have slapped them maybe and said shut up you liar. Get lost.
But here I am. I didnt take my life. I won. And I'm gonna win again tomorrow when I take that plane. I'm just sad about missing my family. Even if they were unpleasant at times. I still love them.
But I deserve to live my own life. I can do this. One more night on my not so very comfy floor bed.
Paper Blackstar
I will never post from this account again. For updates on my situation, possibly a tutorial of how I escape, please see my other account, The Paper Blackstar. It has one post saying that it's me, and in the comments a mod confirmed.

So, I did all the basics of math in school and I took an upgraded course before I could study comp. science at university.
I was bad at it, and Math doesn't actually interest me. The sciences never did, so it's weird I've landed myself in Computer science, and truth be told, I'm not a particularly skilled programmer either. My field of interest lie in the aesthetics, the creative, and the collaboration of thinking of, and implementing games. I did just well enough in projects that I didn't feel discouraged from the entire field, and now I still want to be a contributor in game dev. That said, I feel like math or just my inattention to detail is a problem.
During the higher education I encountered a few instances where I would tell someone "Err, so I don't actually know how to write this" and they'd say "It's just phytagoras. I can't tell you what to do." and I had to figure something out on my own to make a cube move on the screen or something, and I ended up kinda not figuring it out, and I think eventually whoever said something about pythagoras did something on his own.
And it's not like I don't know the pythagoras sentence, it's just that in practice I suck at math and barely know how to apply it. I remember some shit we drew on a blackboard but it doesn't come naturally to me to think mathematically.
But now I'm facing specific needs like, I wanna figure out how to make an eye shader, cuz I have a 3D model where I'm dissatisfied with how glassy the eyes look. But people give me math stuff to figure it out. I'll be running in circles with some design I'm trying to code until some smart guy shows me some x = y2 + i > 0 ???? math that apparently solves it in one sentence.
So I'm a bit agitated by my lack of appliccable knowledge. Do you find that Math is important to your average game work? And if I were to learn about how to develop my own shaders, is there some kind of book that could help me?

1. Sonder: The protagonist, while people-watching in a crowded city square, experiences a profound sonder moment, realizing the intricate stories of those around them.
   
2. Énouement: On their 30th birthday, the protagonist reflects on the énouement of their life, pondering the unexpected twists and turns that led them to this moment.
   
3. Chrysalism: During a cozy thunderstorm, the protagonist finds solace in their home, reveling in the chrysalism of raindrops tapping on the window.
   
4. Monachopsis: Attending a high-society event, the protagonist, feeling out of place, grapples with monachopsis in a sea of unfamiliar faces.
   
5. Liberosis: After a life-changing event, the protagonist embraces liberosis, letting go of trivial concerns and embarking on a minimalist lifestyle.
   
6. Vellichor: Exploring an old, dusty library, the protagonist inhales the vellichor of aged books, each telling a story of bygone eras.
   
7. Anecdoche: In the midst of a lively party, the protagonist engages in an anecdoche, trying to share a personal story amid the chaotic chatter.
   
8. Jouska: The protagonist engages in a silent jouska, rehearsing a conversation with a loved one that they never have the courage to voice.
   
9. Nighthawk: Alone in their thoughts during a sleepless night, the protagonist experiences nighthawk, contemplating the choices that brought them to this insomnia.
   
10. Occhiolism: Gazing at the vast night sky, the protagonist grapples with occhiolism, feeling infinitesimally small in the grand cosmos.
    
11. Lachesism: The protagonist, seeking a thrill, faces lachesism head-on by participating in extreme sports, craving the adrenaline rush.
    
12. Rubatosis: During a moment of anxiety, the protagonist becomes acutely aware of their own heartbeat, experiencing rubatosis in a tense situation.
    
13. Exulansis: Unable to convey a deeply personal experience, the protagonist faces exulansis, resigning to the solitude of their unshared story.
    
14. Sonderlust: Inspired by wanderlust, the protagonist embraces sonderlust, setting off on a journey to explore diverse cultures and connect with strangers.
    
15. Limerence: The protagonist, captivated by someone new, grapples with the intoxicating effects of limerence, navigating the complexities of infatuation.
    
16. Altschmerz: The protagonist, burdened by the weight of recurring issues, confronts altschmerz and seeks a new perspective on long-standing challenges.
    
17. Chiasmus: Engaging in a heated debate, the protagonist skillfully uses chiasmus to convey a powerful argument, leaving their opponent speechless.
    
18. Hiraeth: Visiting their childhood home after years away, the protagonist experiences hiraeth, longing for the simplicity of bygone days.
    
19. Xenization: Immersed in a foreign land, the protagonist grapples with xenization, navigating cultural differences and seeking a sense of belonging.
    
20. Petrichor: Walking through a rejuvenated forest after a rainstorm, the protagonist relishes in the petrichor, a reminder of nature's resilience.
    
21. Ineffable: Confronted with an indescribable beauty, the protagonist struggles with ineffable emotions, unable to capture the experience in words.
    
22. Resfeber: As they prepare for a significant journey, the protagonist feels resfeber, a mix of nervousness and excitement, anticipating the unknown.
    
23. Avenoir: Reflecting on a lost love, the protagonist yearns for avenoir, a glimpse into an alternate future where the relationship flourished.
    
24. Adronitis: Attending a crowded party, the protagonist experiences adronitis, the frustration of struggling to connect with others in the social chaos.
    
25. Chrysoprase: Discovering a hidden gem, the protagonist feels chrysoprase, an unexpected surge of joy and delight in the midst of daily life.
    
26. Fernweh: Looking at a world map, the protagonist succumbs to fernweh, a deep desire to explore distant lands and experience the unknown.
    
27. Zephyr: Standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean, the protagonist feels the gentle zephyr, contemplating the ephemeral nature of life.
    
28. Torschlusspanik: Approaching a significant life milestone, the protagonist grapples with torschlusspanik, fearing the narrowing of opportunities as time passes.
    
29. Cavil: Engaging in a philosophical discussion, the protagonist delights in cavil, exploring nuanced arguments and challenging conventional wisdom.
    
30. Mamihlapinatapai: Locked in a prolonged gaze with a potential romantic interest, the protagonist experiences mamihlapinatapai, the silent communication of mutual desire.
    
31. Nefelibata: The protagonist, lost in creative pursuits, embraces nefelibata, living in the clouds of their imagination and artistic expression.
    
32. Ubuntu: Faced with a communal challenge, the protagonist draws strength from ubuntu, a sense of shared humanity and collective support.
    
33. Boketto: Staring out of a window, the protagonist engages in boketto, lost in contemplation and daydreaming.
    
34. Hygge: Creating a cozy reading nook, the protagonist immerses themselves in hygge, finding comfort and contentment in simple pleasures.
    
35. Amae: Seeking reassurance, the protagonist experiences amae, leaning on loved ones for emotional support and connection.
    
36. Ukiyo: The protagonist, embracing a carefree lifestyle, embodies ukiyo, reveling in the fleeting pleasures of the present moment.
    
37. Sankofa: Confronted with personal growth, the protagonist embraces sankofa, learning from past experiences to shape a brighter future.
    
38. La douleur exquise: Receiving an unrequited love letter, the protagonist grapples with la douleur exquise, the exquisite pain of wanting someone unattainable.
    
39. Mudita: Witnessing a friend's success, the protagonist feels mudita, genuine joy and celebration for the happiness of others.
    
40. Yūgen: In a moment of deep introspection, the protagonist senses yūgen, an awareness of profound beauty and mystery in the universe.
    
41. Ikinokori: Surviving a life-threatening situation, the protagonist feels ikinokori, a heightened appreciation for the gift of life.
    
42. Ephemeral: Observing a butterfly's brief existence, the protagonist reflects on the ephemeral nature of beauty and life.
    
43. Thalassophile: Standing on a serene beach, the protagonist embraces their thalassophile nature, finding solace and connection with the sea.
    
44. Psithurism: Camping in a peaceful forest, the protagonist listens to the soothing psithurism of leaves rustling in the wind.
    
45. Obfuscate: Navigating a complex political situation, the protagonist strategically uses obfuscation to protect vital information.
    

This post will be edited several times and created the same way as The Journey post which has a Table of Contents for this subreddit. The book I am using is called "The Complete I Ching: 10th Anniversary Edition" by Alfred Huang. The I Ching is similar to how Tarot is used for divination. I am more interested in the philosophical aspect. I am not an expert on this information. I am comparing the Cardinal Directions (North, South, East and West) with what is explained in the I Ching and the Tarot. This information pertains to an extension of self learning while investigating the "Exercise of Fire" which is something mentioned in the Ra Material. It is your choice to follow along and maybe view the Cube of Space from another perspective. A few things to note about the Cube of Space are the sides of the cube. If this were to be seen as a solid structure then the North, East and Below parts as well as the inner cube cannot be seen. This could mean that it is harder to connect with the hidden parts of the Cube of Space. With this in mind then this may also indicate that Kun and Li need more clarification than the other two hexagrams.

Table of Contents

Side of Cube	Major Arcana	Hexagram	Description
South	The Sun	Qian	Initiating
North	Tower	Kun	Responding
East	Empress	Li	Brightness
West	Wheel of Fortune	Kan	Darkness

The story about me (36f) and my sister (38f) is long and complicated, so I’ll try to summarise as short as possible, which is long anyway. (English is not my first language - sorry for grammar!)
Sister has some kind of psychological issues she refuse to deal with properly. I suspect BPD, but I may be very wrong. Mom mentioned she may have gotten a diagnosis lately, but didn’t remember if it’s ADHD or Autism. She’s a very extrovert person who thrives when being around people. She only has two moods: ecstatic or depressed. She absolutely worships people, until one day when she cast them down to the status of a devil. Nothing in between.
Her life is cyclical. It starts with finding a new area of interest that she dives head first into. She meets people doing this thing she’s interested in and idolise them. She says it’s her calling in life, and credits her new-found mental wellbeing to this new calling. She invests everything she has into the new thing - time and money, even starts working in the field. Then comes the depression. Every time she claims she has never felt like this before. The people she worshipped are discarded and branded “bad” or “crazy”. She relies on family to get her back on her feet, then find a new area of interest that “saves her”, and the cycle starts anew. Over and over again.
I broke with her almost 5 years ago. She was depressed and lived with our parents again at that time. I was back to school to get a new career after first being burnt out, then losing my job. My daughter was 3 years old. At that time, I realised my marriage was a huge cause of my own depression and that he was cruel to out child and decided to get a divorce. My ex was very abusive, so I was facing the threat of being homeless, jobless and lose custody. My sister ripped me to shreds and told me that my problems were nothing compared to hers, and that my situation did not excuse not being there for her. For context - she called me every day while I was in school and made me “talk her out of” doing things to herself for 2 hours - every day for weeks while refusing therapy or medication. I lost it.
We went NC about 1 year, then to very LC the last 3 years. It’s working kinda good! As long as I don’t get close to her, we can even see each other without drama. The times I’ve slipped up and allowed too much contact has been a disaster, she becomes possessive straight away and demand I apologise to her for what I did.
My daughter (8f) is the only child in the family. Thank goodness my sister hasn’t had any, and doesn’t plan to either. My sister instantly fell in love with her, before she was even born. While she seems to forget daughter’s existence from time to time, she also adores her from time to time. She showers daughter in gifts and attention. When they last hung out, Sister even pretended to love the very same things as Daughter, which at the time was rainbows and unicorns.
Since I broke with Sister, she has met Daughter 3 times. Once overnight 3 years ago, the other 2 times just a couple of hours outside of home. I do invite her here from time to time and say she’s always welcome, but she never does. She doesn’t bother coming here even if she’s in the area. She lives 4 hours away with car, and now claims she can’t travel here because her horse needs her. Good for us, I thought. Less drama.
But last week I found a package in the mail, addressed to Daughter. In it were the gifts Sister missed giving her - Christmas, Birthday and Easter. There was also a card, in which Sister writes how much she loves Daughter. Boxed in with a green marker, she writes that it’s her biggest dream to have Daughter visiting her for a weekend, and that she’s willing to meet us halfway to pick her up. She asked me a year or so ago, but I haven’t heard a word from her this year.
Yesterday, my mom said Sister has been in touch with her too, asking her to bring Daughter to her. No one asked me. Sister still sends Daughter unicorns and rainbows, even though Daughter hasn’t been into them for more than two years. She does not know my Daughter anymore.
Daughter loves her aunt, and often talk about her and makes her drawings and jewelary. She doesn’t know the issues my Sister has. She does not know she is forgotten for weeks, maybe months at a time. I’m scared my Sister will break her heart, or mess her up. I have not asked Daughter if she wants to go, and she didn’t say anything when reading the card either.
I told mom that Sister is always welcome to come here, and that I want her to come and see Daughter at least twice before I’m ok with Daughter going there (with my parents - not alone. Even mom agrees whole heartedly that Daughter should not go there alone). Mom thinks it’s unreasonable, because Sister is afraid of me and won’t come. I have never raised my voice to her. Never said harsh words. Just refused to do what she wants, so I feel it’s unfair to blame me.
What is your take on this? Am I being unreasonable to “force” my sister to come visit us in order to see my daughter?

Here is a TRUE Haunted House Story that a gentleman by the name of “Kenneth” emailed to me last week. This is one creepy story. 😬 I hope you enjoy. 🫶
Story by - “Kenneth”
I’ve been living in a house that is very haunted for the better part of 53 years. I guess you can say that, I grew up here. And lived here my entire life.
And I’ve made a happy home for my wife and daughter here as well. At least we try to make this a happy home. We’ve experienced things that are so bizarre you’d almost think that we were crazy for even talking about them.
Nevermind the things I’ve heard and seen in this house while growing up.
While I would love to talk about everything that has happened here, I would like to tell you about how it all started for me when I was seven years old. It's actually the very first incident that I encountered while living here.
The house was built in 1875. It’s been remodeled throughout the years to keep up with modern times, but it still rests on the very foundation it was built on.
This house… as I’m writing this, I can hear footsteps creaking above me on the second floor. This is an all day thing. But we’ve learned to live with it. While growing up here, and being the only child, my parents already knew about the house being haunted. But they tried sheltering me from it. Meaning, if I heard something strange, my father or mother would say something to the likes of…
“Oh honey, those damn pipes again. We need to call the plumber.”
Or if there were footsteps creaking on the floor boards they would blame the flooring for being very old. I would hear scratching all throughout the walls and ceilings. All sorts of strange and bizarre sounds.
But this incident, this day, changed everything. And I remember this day, or rather night, as if it happened yesterday.
It was around 11:00 at night. It was a school night. And I was asleep. But something woke me up. I heard a voice whisper in my right right ear…
“We can’t let them get away.”
My eyes slowly opened up and I laid there for a moment. I called out for both my mother and father and looked over at my bedroom door but it was shut. I flipped over to my side and fell back asleep.
I heard this voice loud and clear. I know I did. But I think my brain was telling me to ignore it. Well, that was just the beginning of it. Because a few moments later it decided to really stir things up with me…
“Boy… HELP THEM THEY’RE BURNING ALIVE!”
I jumped out of bed so rapidly and even peed myself as I ran to my parents bedroom. My parents both looked at each other and then looked at me like they knew something but didn’t want to tell me. They gave me the old mumbo jumbo and told me that I was having a bad dream. My mother got out of bed. Got me fresh pajamas and socks while I cleaned myself up.
Peeing yourself at seven years old isn’t fun. Especially when it’s a raspy old scary voice shouting that someone’s burning alive in your bedroom while you’re sleeping.
My mother asked if I wanted to sleep with her and my father in their bed after that. You bet your ass I did. I hopped in that bed quicker than a fox chasing a rabbit. I was a small boy for seven. And both of my parents were average sized too, so, I fit right in there.
Alright… Here is where it gets very, very scary. If this doesn’t scare the socks off of you I don’t know what will. And before I continue, the voice that I heard? We think it’s the original owner of the house. Without giving away too much information about my home, the very first owner of this home…
He was an evil man…
We’ve heard stories about him torturing animals, killing them, and then taxiderming them, scattering them all throughout the house like his own little museum of horror.
Throughout the years I would experience more voices, more scratching on the walls and ceilings. Eventually my parents wound up telling me that the house was haunted by a creepy man with an evil past. And we lived with it. We were never physically harmed by it. It was more of a nuisance than anything.
That all changed on the night I brought my wife home to begin a life here with me.
We’re high school sweethearts. So, she knows about this place. She stayed here overnight plenty of times before we got married. But on the night she moved in, it wasn’t happy at all.
I’ll never forget the hour and minute. It was 2:27 in the morning. We were both asleep. My wife woke up first because she felt something tugging on her arm. She then woke me up and told me what she felt. This was the first time in all the years anyone has ever been physically touched by this spirit. This had never happened before so it was quite a shock to me.
And after being awake for about a few minutes or so, our bedroom door slammed shut! Our blanket was pulled away from us and thrown across the room. And we heard heavy footsteps as if someone was walking across the roof!
It was as if the house was coming to life.
In all my years of living here, I have never seen this much activity. Yet alone in one single night.
After the blanket got pulled away from us and thrown across the room things finally seemed to calm down. And the entire house was ominously quiet.
Too quiet…
But then a dark black shadow decides to grace us with its presence by moving along the walls in the bedroom and fading into nothingness. My wife and I did not move from the bed during all of this. We were terror-stricken. And then a foul odor begins to come from underneath the bed followed by a sonorous growl that vibrated underneath us.
By this point it felt like something grave was about to happen and I had to do something. Or at least I had to try. I grabbed a hold of my wife’s hand and told her to be brave and to not fear this thing. Because that's what it wants. It wants to scare us out of our home and we can’t allow that to happen. But we mustard up the courage to face this evil spirit and began reciting the Lord’s Prayer.
The bedroom door slammed again and again, four times consecutively. With steady growls underneath the bed, but we stood our ground. Praying to the almighty to help and asking him to show this spirit to the light.
A raspy old voice then shouts from underneath the bed.
“Get out!… Leave my house!”
And I said…
“No! If you're stuck here like you’ve been all these years, then you’re going to have to learn to live with us. In peace or war. Because this is my house now. Not yours. You're dead! Leave already! Go! Go with God. And Go into the light.”
After 10 minutes of praying and arguing with this thing. It all just seemed to come to a pass. I wiped the tears of fear from my wife’s eyes and embraced her painful shivers.
I, too, was frozen over by the horror that leveled us during that night.
And nothing of that magnitude ever occurred again. And our home stood silent for a while. For a year to be exact. Which was very peaceful. The voices and scratching on the walls and ceilings, footsteps and disembodied voices eventually returned. But it doesn’t bother us at all. We pay it no mind.
Doesn’t bother my daughter. Not my wife nor I. We’ve just learned to live with it.
I know that must sound strange. But this is my home. Our home. And we intend to keep it that way.
Thank you, Kenneth Sr.
Disclaimer: This story is not to be used in any other way other than reading, sharing your thoughts on it, and enjoying the creepy thought of living with a Poltergeist/Ghost in your home. 👻
The content producer has this story copyrighted and protected by the Library of Congress/Copyright Office.
💀

so the dream starts with me going to some sort of event at the elementary school i went to. a bunch of other people i went to school with were there. we waited for hours and hours, but the event never started so we decided to just leave. i noticed something wasn’t right when, despite having been inside for hours, the time of day didn’t change. i shrugged it off and went home. i arrived home and i opened the door, only to see the inside of my current house was actually the inside of the trailer i grew up in. i became even more confused when my dog, who passed away in 2018, ran up to greet me. i moved out of there in 2006, so he had never even lived in this trailer. same goes for my old cat, who passed away in 2023. she was sitting on a counter near the door i came in. i was very confused, but also very happy to see them because i had missed them so much. while kneeling down and playing with my dog, my mom approached me with a sad look on her face. i looked up at her and its like we both knew that this wasn’t real. i started to cry, telling my mom that i didn’t want to wake up. she said “i know, but we have to.” i knew i was about to wake up, but in the dream i tried to fight it. i woke up soon after. there was a heartache-like feeling in my chest, like i was re-experiencing the grief i felt when they first passed away.
i don’t think i’ve ever realized i was dreaming in any of my dreams before, and i’ve definitely never tried to stop myself from waking up.

I am going through the most terrifying emotional experience that I am sure is a Narcissistic collapse. I'm terrified, constantly.
Something happened while I was involved with 2 guys, back in October. One day something snapped in my brain and I saw the actions from my whole life with this horrifying clarity. I saw myself, as if I was in a movie. Moving from guy to guy. Replacing one source of supply almost immediately with another. Since I was 15 I traced back dating people back to back with no real similarities in their personalities at all. They were just, there. They pursued me and I just go with it. I thought it was BPD because of the immense emotional pain that accompanies a break-up but this collapse has confirmed its deffo NPD or co-morbid. That intense emotional pain is always dissipated as soon as I've found a replacement.
I always prided myself on being a 'good person'. Thats how I've always presented myself in the world. The nice, shy pretty mixed race girl. Clever, mysterious. People have always been intrigued by me, mistaking the internal void for some kind of depth of character.
I've never had many interests really so I made books and reading my entire personality. Right now I have no interest in any of that. I just miss the person I pretended to be that allowed me to function in society.
I've behaved horrendously and lost all sources of supply. Some of them, good genuine people. i cant face anyone. I cant look anyone in the eye, I know they can see the darkness in my eyes.
I can't function. I can't work, barely wash, never have an appetite. I've lost the place I was living. I've lost everything and I am totally unmasked and everyone around me feels uncomfortable, i can sense it. I turned to my mother which only confirmed to me why i am so, so broken. My family are dysfunctional and they operate without the self awareness of who they are. i dont blame them, being self aware feels like a death sentence.
I desperately want to die but I'm terrified of non-existence. Every second is pure hell. I go to sleep in a panic and wake up in utter terror and dread. I cant believe who I am. I cant live being this monster. I feel I will never, ever recover.

Hi all! Hopefully I chose the right flair.
I just finished reading this book and I just need to share it someone.
Jeferson Tenório is a black Brazilian writer and his romance The Dark Side of Skin provides a very good insight into racism in Brazil, especially in the south of Brazil (the whitest part of the country with... questionable ideologies). It's fiction, but the topics are very real. I had to take breaks between reading sessions because it got to me so bad. So not a light read, but the way Jeferson is able to place us in the character's skin is MASTERFUL. This book got Brazil's equivalent of the nobel prize for literature and it shows.
The book is written as a "letter" to the protagonist's father, a school teacher who was assassinated by the police. The protagonist tells the father's story and by doing so constructs an entire biography of life in Brazil as a black person.
I recommend this book to any non-Brazilian interested in understanding how racism plays out in another country. And for Brazilians, I recommend it especially because it has seen attempts from politicians to ban it from schools' reading list. This is how I found out about the book. Politicians are using the sexual scenes within the book as excuse, saying it's too erotic, in an attempt to censor discussions on racism from schools.
I would be so happy if they fail and students are exposed to the reality of black Brazilians. And I would be very happy if the author got support and the book got more visibility.
I read it in original Portuguese, but an English version (as the title of my post shows) and even a Mandarin and an Italian version are available. The book isn't long. Please give it a look!

Are the marks correct?
I was gonna fail but i passed chem.i had previously failed chem in preboards. Same case with my frnd he failed chem in pre boards and then passed chem boards
But then guess how many students out of 17 from our school got compartment Fucking 9 . Out of those 9 four of them failed in 2 subs. Majority of them failed in chem theory followed by math and phy and some idiot failed in physical education.
But the problem is that how can more than 50 % of the students of a school fail in a sub or two. And some of those 9 students are literally good in studies.
Some girl got 4 in phy. Is it possible.shes good in studies. Even if we assume she didn't study still how can anyone get 4? U can get more than that alone by tukkabazi from the 16mcqs .
Another girls who got 87%ile in jee mains got 26 in maths .1 marks less she would have failed it.and she is literally topper.
Then there is another boy who always had 36years pyq MCQ book for neet failed chemistry he got 15
And during the physics exam when not a single topper took an extra page one girl took extra pages and that means she oviusly wrote more than 30 to 40 pages guess how much she got just 23 .while I barely wrote 20 pages and somehow managed to get 34. I mean who even takes extra pages even after cbse answer sheet which already contains 30 pages or so. I don't know what she wrote in those 30 or 40 pages and just barely passed.
This is the wrost year of results so far I have seen .and school will never show the results of all the people and just rant about the guy who got 95 % Do u think the marks given are not correct?

As a very young soul, around maybe 5 or 6 years old, I had a very innocent and Accepting outlook on life. Despite coming from a less than ideal environment, I always found fascination in the world around me, and a reverence for what Mother Nature had gifted unto me. And so I first realized myself to be aligned closely with Green.
I always had a smile on my face, ready to embrace those around me; Ready to love as unconditionally as the Others had loved me. I felt a passion, a desire even, to do good for those Others, just to see the smile on their faces. A smile that they lacked, because they couldn't see the beauty that enveloped them; A beauty that I myself saw so very clearly. I yearned to live in the present, and to give unto Others the same heartfelt, Emotional passion and Acceptance that I felt so strongly towards them. I had a very Red heart, and a very White soul.
And I always had a smile on my face, when nobody else did. I always laughed, when the Others cried, so that they might share in my joy.
And over the years, as my family fought onward towards eachother; Gnashing their teeth for little Reason at all other than to watch eachother suffer for the sake of their own miscommunications, my efforts fell short.
And it caused me to wonder why...
"Why must they be so pessimistic and derogatory in life? Why must they be so quick to reject Reason? Why is their Logic so skewed?", I wondered..
And a very Blue thirst for knowledge started to form in my mind.
Not only did I begin to search for the meaning behind the problems that surrounded me, but also for the meaning behind everything which I did not understand. I passed the time by Nurturing my mind; By listening and Seeking Truth, when the Others would not listen. A True curiosity formed within me; Not only for what lay just beyond the grasp of comprehension, but just as much for the comprehension of what could be..
I learned that the soul source of conflict for many of their problems was Emotion; Emotion which drove them to impulse, Emotion which drove them to rage, Emotion which drove them to violence and Chaos. I also acknowledged this sense of Emotion within myself. And though it was mostly joyous, I learned that joy could very well blind me just as much as their rage blinded them. So I learned to Accept Reason and Order in favor of Chaos, and encouraged the Others around me to do so as well.
Well, this Bant way of thinking only lasted so long. Though the Others in my family grew to realize that my insight was quite valuable, they would only listen if I spoke in a language they understood. If anything that I said conflicted with their own perspective outright, I would lose their ear entirely. They would simply twist my words to their own warped sense of righteousness, to use against their 'enemies'. But I still loved them, and through and through I listened to them, day after day, trying to guide them towards a better path.
But that Red, joyous smile was no longer there on my face.
As I started my first days at school, I would keep myself isolated; Knowing that the others would have no patience, just as my family had already shown me. I would keep to myself and stand in the corner voluntarily, observing silently those around me; Without friends.
And both the teachers and the students found me absolutely frightening to try and comprehend.
I was, however, almost ALWAYS at the top of my class, quite Naturally.
Most of them avoided me, though some had tried to victimize me. I didn't retaliate to their beatings and abuse, because deep down I still abhored the idea of hurting the Others. But I also didn't feed into their taunts and ridicule. They left me quite dissatisfied, as they had gained nothing; For I had nothing to take away..
And one day, while I was walking down the hallway, thinking about life, I felt a sudden revelation bloom in my Mind..
What made those other students strive so Ruthlessly to Satisfy themselves at the cost of my Peace? What made my family fight so Ruthlessly to achieve their own Satisfaction at the cost of my Freedom? What have I been missing my whole life, that might be fruitless to the Others, but very fruitful to me, the Individual? What have their discrepancies cost ME? What might those very same discrepancies give unto me instead..
And a Growing Mindset returned the smile to my face once more.
Not a smile of Red, Emotional Freedom, but a smile of Black, Exploitative Satisfaction; If only at the cost of my precious, White sense of Altruism.
From that day forward, I always had a smile on my face, when nobody else did. I always laughed, when the Others cried, so that they might share in my suffering.
I began to whisper Profane Truths to the ears of my enemies, especially myself; Inspiring Fear, and obeying it. And I did this all under the guile of being a True friend; To both the Others, as well as myself, the Individual.
I began to fuel the arguements my family had, from ALL sides, to grow further the reward that I would inevitably reap.
I began to sacrifice not only of myself, the Individual, but of the Others as well, to attain my ideals of Perfection.
I revered the Knowledge that spurred me forward; The Knowledge that grew so boundlessly by the urge to further myself, the Individual, to greater heights; Exploiting what Nature had gifted unto me.
I saw success that I had never comprehended before as a possibility.
And to Mother Nature, I yet again beheld a reverence..
And then I realized what it was all for; How it was all possible.
What Preserved Truth had retained my sense of Peace, even in the face of Progressing Evolution? Even at the cost of my Emotional Freedom? Certainly the Harmony which allowed for such an Evolution in the first place.
What Natural Profanity returned to me a sense of Freedom, even as I Exploited what little I had left of my Altruistic Peace for the sake of Individuality? Certainly that Profanity which I had Accepted.
What saving grace might I inevitably lose, if only I allow for the Growth Mindset to consume me, once and for all?
That answer lays deep within the Green...
I believe it is no coincidence that the majority of the people in my life are Nayan. Perhaps because it is easy for me to utilize an instrument that I so deeply understand. Or perhaps because, deep down, I am reminded of a ghost; Of the treasured spirit I once held within my own soul..
I've always Accepted what the world gifted unto me. And I've always Harmonized with what surrounds me, for better or for worse.
And the Green is what I will always intend to embrace;
No matter the cost; No matter the reward. 💚
It is what it is, and it always will be. 😎 🌎

(tagged as animal abuse as I consider what he does is animal abuse)
due to life being life, my sil and her kids moved in with us after losing her home. we went from just three people to seven, along with three animals. the kid is insane, last week he got suspended multiple times from school, and today was no different. hitting students, spitting on teachers, even attempted to run away from school. he's no better here, a complete asshole. no one here likes him, and honestly his mom completely sucks at punishing him. I've tried to keep my distance, not my kid not my problem, but today was the last straw.
my partner walked our dog, and when they came back, the kid literally jumps into her face and screamed. it took a bit of coaxing to get her to go inside. now she's terrified of going downstairs. any time she hears him, she goes and hides behind myself or my partner. I've seen her scared at things, but this is a completely different reaction than just being scared. I've tried to be really understanding of my sil, a single mother who lost her home and is struggling. but the whole household disagree with her parenting style. Now I'm just not giving any fucks and have had to raise my voice twice to get away from my dog because I do not want him near her at all, and I will he informing the rest of the house tomorrow that he is to have absolutely no contact with her.
maybe im overreacting, but my pets are my world and I'll do anything to protect them, and my dog is currently being trained to become a service dog and I'm worried this will cause some setbacks 🫠

Dr. Sean M. Kirkpatrick
Director, All-domain Anomaly Resolution Office (AARO)
Dr. Kirkpatrick was asked by USD(I&S) to stand-up and lead AARO in early 2022. Known as Dr. K to his staff and team, he brings over two decades of experience and a significant depth of expertise in scientific and technical intelligence (S&TI), S&TI and space policy, research and development, acquisitions, and operations, specializing in space/counterspace mission areas.
Dr. Kirkpatrick was born in Columbus, GA to an Army family. He grew up in the Atlanta area, where he attended the University of Georgia as an undergraduate, to study physics. Dr. Kirkpatrick finished his Ph.D. work in nonlinear and nonequilibrium phonon dynamics of rare earth doped fluoride crystals also at the University of Georgia, and is currently an adjunct professor at UGA.
Dr. Kirkpatrick began his career in Defense and Intelligence related science and technology immediately out of graduate school. After receiving his Ph.D. in Physics in 1995, he subsequently took a postdoctoral position at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign, investigating laser-induced molecular vibrations of high explosives under an AFOSR program. In 1996, he was offered a National Research Council Fellowship at the U.S. Naval Research Laboratory in Washington D.C. investigating novel solid-state lasers for the Department of the Navy. In 1997, he was recruited by the Air Force Research Laboratory to build an Ultrafast Laser Physics Lab to investigate nonlinear optics, novel ultrafast spectroscopic methods, and nonlinear micro/nano-fabrication techniques for the Air Force. In 2003 he was offered a program manager position in the National Reconnaissance Office, and converted to CIA in 2005. In 2007, he was assigned as Chief Technology Officer in a joint CIA-DIA program office, where he later became division chief as a DIA officer. In 2010 he was asked to serve as the space control portfolio manager for the Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense, Space and Intelligence, Office of the Secretary ofDefense.
In 2012 he returned to DIA, and served as the Defense Intelligence Officer for Scientific and Technical Intelligence, serving as the Department of Defense’s counterpart to the National Intelligence Manager for Science and Technology until 2016. Towards the end of his tenure as DIO/S&TI, Dr. Kirkpatrick served on special assignment to the Principal Deputy Director National Intelligence leading the Intelligence Community’s support to the Joint Interagency Combined Space Operations Center.
From 2016 to his current assignment, Dr. Kirkpatrick served in a variety of no-fail roles including Deputy Director of Intelligence, US Strategic Command; Director, National Security Strategy, National Security Council; Deputy Director of Intelligence and the DNI Representative for USSPACECOM. The USSPACECOM Intelligence Enterprise was the fifth organization he has been the IC lead for establishment. His most recent assignment was as Chief Scientist at DIA’s Missile and Space Intelligence Center.
Dr. Kirkpatrick is the recipient of several scientific and intelligence awards. These include the National Intelligence Exceptional Achievement Medal, four National Intelligence Collaboration medallions, the NRO Innovation and Achievement Award, the Cleary Award for Scientific Excellence, and the DIA Director’s Award for Excellence. Dr. Kirkpatrick holds 2 open patents and has contributed to several scientific books on nonlinear phenomena as well as written multiple strategies for the National and Defense Intelligence Communities. He was appointed to the Senior Service in 2012.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://media.defense.gov/2022/Jul/20/2003039076/-1/-1/1/DR-SEAN-M-KIRKPATRICK-BIOGRAPHY.PDF&ved=2ahUKEwjJ1Zf10oyGAxV9LkQIHSnSCKoQFnoECCEQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3R8GHHkCVxkjZBwYMWJfyK

References

• Vincent, Brandi (November 30, 2023). "Pentagon's UAP investigation chief to depart Dec. 1". DefenseScoop. Retrieved December 3, 2023.
• Seligman, Lara (November 7, 2023). "Pentagon UFO boss to step down next month". POLITICO. Retrieved November 12, 2023.
• Degges, Ireland (November 8, 2023). "AARO Shakes Up Executive Team With 2 New Leadership Changes; Kathleen Hicks Quoted". Retrieved November 14, 2023.
• https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2023/11/12/sean-kirkpatrick-ufos-pentagon-00126214
• "USD(I&S) Ronald Moultrie and Dr. Sean Kirkpatrick Media Roundtable on the All-domain Anoma". U.S. Department of Defense. Retrieved April 22, 2023.
• "Sean Kirkpatrick, Adjunct Assistant Professor of Physics". University of Georgia.
• "Dr. Sean M. Kirkpatrick Deputy Director of Intelligence and DNI Representative, USSPACECOM" (PDF).
• "Dr. Sean M. Kirkpatrick Director, All-domain Anomaly Resolution Office (AARO)" (PDF)
• Archived (PDF) from the original on May 13, 2023. Retrieved June 9, 2023.ReferencesVincent, Brandi (November 30, 2023). "Pentagon's UAP investigation chief to depart Dec. 1".
• DefenseScoop. Retrieved December 3, 2023. Seligman, Lara (November 7, 2023).
• "Pentagon UFO boss to step down next month". POLITICO. Retrieved November 12, 2023.
• Degges, Ireland (November 8, 2023). "AARO Shakes Up Executive Team With 2 New Leadership Changes; Kathleen Hicks Quoted". Retrieved November 14, 2023.
• https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2023/11/12/sean-kirkpatrick-ufos-pentagon-00126214 "USD(I&S) Ronald Moultrie and Dr. Sean Kirkpatrick Media Roundtable on the All-domain Anoma".
• U.S. Department of Defense. Retrieved April 22, 2023.
• "Sean Kirkpatrick, Adjunct Assistant Professor of Physics". University of Georgia.
• "Dr. Sean M. Kirkpatrick Deputy Director of Intelligence and DNI Representative, USSPACECOM" (PDF).
• "Dr. Sean M. Kirkpatrick Director, All-domain Anomaly Resolution Office (AARO)" (PDF).
• Archived (PDF) from the original on May 13, 2023. Retrieved June 9, 2023.

Dr. Sean M. Kirkpatrick
Director, All-domain Anomaly Resolution Office (AARO)
Dr. Kirkpatrick was asked by USD(I&S) to stand-up and lead AARO in early 2022. Known as Dr. K to his staff and team, he brings over two decades of experience and a significant depth of expertise in scientific and technical intelligence (S&TI), S&TI and space policy, research and development, acquisitions, and operations, specializing in space/counterspace mission areas.
Dr. Kirkpatrick was born in Columbus, GA to an Army family. He grew up in the Atlanta area, where he attended the University of Georgia as an undergraduate, to study physics. Dr. Kirkpatrick finished his Ph.D. work in nonlinear and nonequilibrium phonon dynamics of rare earth doped fluoride crystals also at the University of Georgia, and is currently an adjunct professor at UGA.
Dr. Kirkpatrick began his career in Defense and Intelligence related science and technology immediately out of graduate school. After receiving his Ph.D. in Physics in 1995, he subsequently took a postdoctoral position at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign, investigating laser-induced molecular vibrations of high explosives under an AFOSR program. In 1996, he was offered a National Research Council Fellowship at the U.S. Naval Research Laboratory in Washington D.C. investigating novel solid-state lasers for the Department of the Navy. In 1997, he was recruited by the Air Force Research Laboratory to build an Ultrafast Laser Physics Lab to investigate nonlinear optics, novel ultrafast spectroscopic methods, and nonlinear micro/nano-fabrication techniques for the Air Force. In 2003 he was offered a program manager position in the National Reconnaissance Office, and converted to CIA in 2005. In 2007, he was assigned as Chief Technology Officer in a joint CIA-DIA program office, where he later became division chief as a DIA officer. In 2010 he was asked to serve as the space control portfolio manager for the Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense, Space and Intelligence, Office of the Secretary of Defense.
In 2012 he returned to DIA, and served as the Defense Intelligence Officer for Scientific and Technical Intelligence, serving as the Department of Defense’s counterpart to the National Intelligence Manager for Science and Technology until 2016. Towards the end of his tenure as DIO/S&TI, Dr. Kirkpatrick served on special assignment to the Principal Deputy Director National Intelligence leading the Intelligence Community’s support to the Joint Interagency Combined Space Operations Center.
From 2016 to his current assignment, Dr. Kirkpatrick served in a variety of no-fail roles including Deputy Director of Intelligence, US Strategic Command; Director, National Security Strategy, National Security Council; Deputy Director of Intelligence and the DNI Representative for USSPACECOM. The USSPACECOM Intelligence Enterprise was the fifth organization he has been the IC lead for establishment. His most recent assignment was as Chief Scientist at DIA’s Missile and Space Intelligence Center.
Dr. Kirkpatrick is the recipient of several scientific and intelligence awards. These include the National Intelligence Exceptional Achievement Medal, four National Intelligence Collaboration medallions, the NRO Innovation and Achievement Award, the Cleary Award for Scientific Excellence, and the DIA Director’s Award for Excellence. Dr. Kirkpatrick holds 2 open patents and has contributed to several scientific books on nonlinear phenomena as well as written multiple strategies for the National and Defense Intelligence Communities. He was appointed to the Senior Service in 2012.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://media.defense.gov/2022/Jul/20/2003039076/-1/-1/1/DR-SEAN-M-KIRKPATRICK-BIOGRAPHY.PDF&ved=2ahUKEwjJ1Zf10oyGAxV9LkQIHSnSCKoQFnoECCEQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3R8GHHkCVxkjZBwYMWJfyK

References

• Vincent, Brandi (November 30, 2023). "Pentagon's UAP investigation chief to depart Dec. 1". DefenseScoop. Retrieved December 3, 2023.
• Seligman, Lara (November 7, 2023). "Pentagon UFO boss to step down next month". POLITICO. Retrieved November 12, 2023.
• Degges, Ireland (November 8, 2023). "AARO Shakes Up Executive Team With 2 New Leadership Changes; Kathleen Hicks Quoted". Retrieved November 14, 2023.
• https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2023/11/12/sean-kirkpatrick-ufos-pentagon-00126214
• "USD(I&S) Ronald Moultrie and Dr. Sean Kirkpatrick Media Roundtable on the All-domain Anoma". U.S. Department of Defense. Retrieved April 22, 2023.
• "Sean Kirkpatrick, Adjunct Assistant Professor of Physics". University of Georgia.
• "Dr. Sean M. Kirkpatrick Deputy Director of Intelligence and DNI Representative, USSPACECOM" (PDF).
• "Dr. Sean M. Kirkpatrick Director, All-domain Anomaly Resolution Office (AARO)" (PDF)
• Archived (PDF) from the original on May 13, 2023. Retrieved June 9, 2023.ReferencesVincent, Brandi (November 30, 2023). "Pentagon's UAP investigation chief to depart Dec. 1".
• DefenseScoop. Retrieved December 3, 2023. Seligman, Lara (November 7, 2023).
• "Pentagon UFO boss to step down next month". POLITICO. Retrieved November 12, 2023.
• Degges, Ireland (November 8, 2023). "AARO Shakes Up Executive Team With 2 New Leadership Changes; Kathleen Hicks Quoted". Retrieved November 14, 2023.
• https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2023/11/12/sean-kirkpatrick-ufos-pentagon-00126214 "USD(I&S) Ronald Moultrie and Dr. Sean Kirkpatrick Media Roundtable on the All-domain Anoma".
• U.S. Department of Defense. Retrieved April 22, 2023.
• "Sean Kirkpatrick, Adjunct Assistant Professor of Physics". University of Georgia.
• "Dr. Sean M. Kirkpatrick Deputy Director of Intelligence and DNI Representative, USSPACECOM" (PDF).
• "Dr. Sean M. Kirkpatrick Director, All-domain Anomaly Resolution Office (AARO)" (PDF).
• Archived (PDF) from the original on May 13, 2023. Retrieved June 9, 2023.
• Dr. Sean M. Kirkpatrick Director, All-domain Anomaly Resolution Office (AARO)Dr. Kirkpatrick was asked by USD(I&S) to stand-up and lead AARO in early 2022. Known as Dr. K to his staff and team, he brings over two decades of experience and a significant depth of expertise in scientific and technical intelligence (S&TI), S&TI and space policy, research and development, acquisitions, and operations, specializing in space/counterspace mission areas.Dr. Kirkpatrick was born in Columbus, GA to an Army family. He grew up in the Atlanta area, where he attended the University of Georgia as an undergraduate, to study physics. Dr. Kirkpatrick finished his Ph.D. work in nonlinear and nonequilibrium phonon dynamics of rare earth doped fluoride crystals also at the University of Georgia, and is currently an adjunct professor at UGA.Dr. Kirkpatrick began his career in Defense and Intelligence related science and technology immediately out of graduate school.
• After receiving his Ph.D. in Physics in 1995, he subsequently took a postdoctoral position at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign, investigating laser-induced molecular vibrations of high explosives under an AFOSR program. In 1996, he was offered a National Research Council Fellowship at the U.S. Naval Research Laboratory in Washington D.C. investigating novel solid-state lasers for the Department of the Navy. In 1997, he was recruited by the Air Force Research Laboratory to build an Ultrafast Laser Physics Lab to investigate nonlinear optics, novel ultrafast spectroscopic methods, and nonlinear micro/nano-fabrication techniques for the Air Force. In 2003 he was offered a program manager position in the National Reconnaissance Office, and converted to CIA in 2005.
• In 2007, he was assigned as Chief Technology Officer in a joint CIA-DIA program office, where he later became division chief as a DIA officer. In 2010 he was asked to serve as the space control portfolio manager for the Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense, Space and Intelligence, Office of the Secretary of Defense.
• In 2012 he returned to DIA, and served as the Defense Intelligence Officer for Scientific and Technical Intelligence, serving as the Department of Defense’s counterpart to the National Intelligence Manager for Science and Technology until 2016. Towards the end of his tenure as DIO/S&TI, Dr. Kirkpatrick served on special assignment to the Principal Deputy Director National Intelligence leading the Intelligence Community’s support to the Joint Interagency Combined Space Operations Center.From 2016 to his current assignment, Dr. Kirkpatrick served in a variety of no-fail roles including Deputy Director of Intelligence, US Strategic Command; Director, National Security Strategy, National Security Council; Deputy Director of Intelligence and the DNI Representative for USSPACECOM. The USSPACECOM Intelligence Enterprise was the fifth organization he has been the IC lead for establishment. His most recent assignment was as Chief Scientist at DIA’s Missile and Space Intelligence Center.Dr. Kirkpatrick is the recipient of several scientific and intelligence awards. These include the National Intelligence Exceptional Achievement Medal, four National Intelligence Collaboration medallions, the NRO Innovation and Achievement Award, the Cleary Award for Scientific Excellence, and the DIA Director’s Award for Excellence. Dr. Kirkpatrick holds 2 open patents and has contributed to several scientific books on nonlinear phenomena as well as written multiple strategies for the National and Defense Intelligence Communities. He was appointed to the Senior Service in 2012.
• https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://media.defense.gov/2022/Jul/20/2003039076/-1/-1/1/DR-SEAN-M-KIRKPATRICK-BIOGRAPHY.PDF&ved=2ahUKEwjJ1Zf10oyGAxV9LkQIHSnSCKoQFnoECCEQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3R8GHHkCVxkjZBwYMWJfyKReferencesVincent, Brandi (November 30, 2023).
• "Pentagon's UAP investigation chief to depart Dec. 1". DefenseScoop.
• Retrieved December 3, 2023. Seligman, Lara (November 7, 2023).
• "Pentagon UFO boss to step down next month". POLITICO. Retrieved November 12, 2023.
• Degges, Ireland (November 8, 2023).
• "AARO Shakes Up Executive Team With 2 New Leadership Changes; Kathleen Hicks Quoted". Retrieved November 14, 2023. https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2023/11/12/sean-kirkpatrick-ufos-pentagon-00126214
• "USD(I&S) Ronald Moultrie and Dr. Sean Kirkpatrick Media Roundtable on the All-domain Anoma". U.S. Department of Defense. Retrieved April 22, 2023.
• "Sean Kirkpatrick, Adjunct Assistant Professor of Physics". University of Georgia. "Dr. Sean M. Kirkpatrick Deputy Director of Intelligence and DNI Representative, USSPACECOM" (PDF). "Dr. Sean M. Kirkpatrick Director, All-domain Anomaly Resolution Office (AARO)" (PDF) Archived (PDF) from the original on May 13, 2023.
• Retrieved June 9, 2023.ReferencesVincent, Brandi (November 30, 2023). "Pentagon's UAP investigation chief to depart Dec. 1". DefenseScoop. Retrieved December 3, 2023. Seligman, Lara (November 7, 2023). "Pentagon UFO boss to step down next month". POLITICO.
• Retrieved November 12, 2023.
• Degges, Ireland (November 8, 2023). "AARO Shakes Up Executive Team With 2 New Leadership Changes; Kathleen Hicks Quoted". Retrieved November 14, 2023.
• https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2023/11/12/sean-kirkpatrick-ufos-pentagon-00126214 "USD(I&S) Ronald Moultrie and Dr. Sean Kirkpatrick Media Roundtable on the All-domain Anoma". U.S. Department of Defense. Retrieved April 22, 2023.
• "Sean Kirkpatrick, Adjunct Assistant Professor of Physics". University of Georgia.
• "Dr. Sean M. Kirkpatrick Deputy Director of Intelligence and DNI Representative, USSPACECOM" (PDF).
• "Dr. Sean M. Kirkpatrick Director, All-domain Anomaly Resolution Office (AARO)" (PDF).
• Archived (PDF) from the original on May 13, 2023. Retrieved June 9, 2023.

Prologue

Hello and welcome to my post. I will subdivide this into two large parts. One will cover my thoughts, feelings, my hopes and dreams...While the other will tell you the specifics of how I pass the time, what topics interest me, what passions do I posses. I believe that at the end of this leap into my inner world, you dear reader, will have all the necessary information to judge whether we are compatible or not.

Part I
I am writing this in the hopes of finding something that I lack. Lately I have had this feeling, this tinge of melancholy within the dephts of my being, this yearning to find a kindred spirit, another Soul, much like mine, to form a bond with. Perhaps Loneliness is the right word for what is bothering me, but to use it seems to carry with it a connotation of ungratefulness. Ungratefulness for the people that I do have in my life, although none of them, of course, have the connection to me that I seek here.

I have found it increasingly necessary to seek in this Life a sort of purity of thought. What I mean is, I have began to undestand what ideas and concepts are ultimately compatible with my inner most Self, ergo what guidelines I have to follow to feel the most whole. Naturally I have likewise realised what I cannot add to my Self and what I will henceforth reject with all the power that I posses.

With this new context in mind, I now follow on the path of self improvement. I will now begin to mold my Self into my perfected idea of how the Self should be. This is certainly a significant undertaking, one that will not be easy to follow through on but one that I ultimately have to do. To me such context is essential. It is akin to a Guiding Star shining in the night. I will follow this Star for without it I am lost in the vast Darkness.

Looking back at my life, it was suboptimal, especially if one compares the way it molded me to how I will now mold myself. I suppose I must look on with a hint of regret at all that time which one might consider to be lost. Still... I try to stave off such decisively negative interpretations, after all, I have ultimately came to these conclusions. That means that somewhere along the line I had to have picked up on enough of such ideas for them to become so cemented in my consciousness. Well, either that or I was always like this, but in that case I can at least thank my life up to this point for not being able to supress such manifestations of my inner most Self.

To add to the topic of my life, I must admit that not all the battles have yet been won, not all the Demons vanquished, not every Mountain climbed. I want you to keep such things in mind when deciding whether or not to approach me. Many will shy away, I undestand that much, but the pursuit of true Companionship is just another such battle. Having said all that I do believe that being able to overcome hurdles together carries with it a certain appeal. That is to say, what's the fun in joining once the Game is already over?

I don't shy away from such challenges, perhaps to a fault. Certain troubles that I faced in the past carry with them a long shadow over my current health and well being. Still, I intend to change little in this regard other than the proficiency with which I will clash the current of my Will against the cliffs of Life.
Part II
In this part of my post I will tell you about my interests and hobbies, I will try to be thorough, commonality in this regard is rather important to build a relationship
History. I have had an interest in history for almost a decade now, it started back in school and developed from there. Well, now that I think about it one could argue that it started even earlier in my life as I liked watching the odd historic documentary or film aired on television but it wasn't regular back then, I never actively sought it out. I am mostly interested in European history in the period between the 18th-20th century but I sometimes branch out to other time periods and other parts of the world. I watch various channels related to history and read articles and sometimes books. I have recently got a few books on the German revolution of 1848/1849 and a historical magazine on the Thirty Years' War. Besides that I try to visit museums sometimes.
Literature. Especially old novels. I like to immerse myself in the Worlds of these books, I tend to read them while listening to thematically fitting music and take my time with them. One time you are following a troubled Youth in his quest for spiritual understanding of the world, another you see the aged and decrepit Doctor gambling his very Soul on the promises of abtaining satisfaction in earthy pleasures, then again your olfaction notices the most pleasant scent known to man even as the one eminating it has the appearance of a revolting Frog. These and many other stories open up to you once you decide to set foot into the literary World.
Languages. I know three, with one being a bit rusty. I am currently working intently on strengthening it. I believe that if I continue to apply myself in this regard then I should be able to finally conquer it. What language am I working on? Well, if you were to stack all the major works in it they would be as tall as a house... It is fun to go through different works in multiple languages, the same goes for film, games and such.
Games. I recently played Cyberpunk 2077. Well as recently as I played any major story centric game. Now that the dust has settled and the bugs mostly removed...It's not that bad. The main questline at least. Besides that I tried Fallout 76 (Very average, I'm dissapointed with what they made the "RPG" system) and I might give Deus Ex Manking Divided another spin (since it's somewhat similar to Cyberpunk when it comes to its aesthetics). Dark Souls is one of my favorite series, I still haven't beaten Elden Ring though. When it came out I wasn't in the right mindset to invest a hundred hours into it, with all those bosses and difficult locations. I think I'll only consider playing it if I am streaming it to someone. I am generally interested in either streaming games or having the person I am talking to stream them to me. To be specific I mean streaming to a single person while being on call. Besides that I'm a big fan of Paradox strategy games, especially Europa Universalis IV and Heats of Iron IV, I tend to only play single player since I find multiplayer with many people to be rather stressful but on the other hand I have nothing against a co-op game. I'm not the best player though, despite the ammount of hours I have in them. Another great game I would mention would be Dragon's Dogma. A very underrated RPG. I recently beat it again and it was an atmospheric and interesting experience. It is one of those games that feel like they have an endless ammount of depth and constant new secrets to discover.
Anime and Manga. In recent times my interest in them has waned but I still watch the occasional series here and there. Like Cyberpunk Edgerunners (Which I found to be rather mediocre) and the very good first season from the new arc of Bleach. Some of my favourite series include: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Death Note, Fate;Zero, Psycho Pass, Code Geass and Attack on Titan. I wouldn't mind if you were to introduce me to some new series, maybe based on the ones I mentioned. My favourite Manga is Berserk which I still follow, althought I am still not certain on the direction that the new author is taking. I suppose it really is a matter of contention whether a somewhat (or considerably warped) vision is better than an unfinished work. One could argue that a few novels remain unfinished and possess a macabre appeal to them as such.
Music. Classical music has a very special place in my heart. A few of my favourite pieces would be: Clair de Lune, Nocturne Op. 9 No.2, Devil's Trill Sonata, Danse Macabre, Valse Sentimentale, Symphony No. 7 in A Major, Op. 92: II. Alegreto (by Beethoven) and Suite from Swan Lake, Op. 20a: I. Scene. Moderato. There are more but these ones always invoke something in me when I listen to them. Besides Classical I also enjoy listening to Synthwave, old Western pop and J-pop, both modern and from the 20th century.
Esotericism. I am interested in things spiritual, mystical, magical and esoteric. I have read religios texts, magical grimoires, introductions to various schools of thought. It is interesting to me.
Epilogue
Hopefully I was able to cast the spotlight upon my inner World in a clear and unequivocal manner. I feel the need to add to the aforementioned that I am rather introverted, which means that I tend to dislike large social gatherings. I managed to condition myself to be able to endure the presense of large groups of people but it isn't something that I would seek out in most cases. Besides that I am neurodivergent and suffer from certain issues with mental health. I have to take medication to keep myself under control. They work well enough but certain days are harder than others. I respect the struggle that others have with mental health but in the context of a relationship I have my limits, no one with BDP for instance. I am also not looking for anything casual. I understand than one cannot demand depth and meaning from a conversation with an absolute stranger, that is akin to trying to build a sand castle right before the waves strike but I ask at least that you enter with a mindset that this might become something of significance. I also do want to say that I am completely Monogamous. My preference? The sickly, pale, intellectual who watches rain droplets slide down the window in Autumn. Lastly, if I enjoy the company of a person I tend to not want to let them go.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and have a good day. I ask that you send a DM instead of a chat and that you give your thoughts on my title in the opening of your message.
Goodbye...Or perhaps untill we meet again

Reddit Account: u/Thenn_Applicant
Discord Tag: Garin
Name and House: Dorian Merryweather
Age: 49
Cultural Group: Reachman
Appearance: [Dorian's chestnut brown hair has been greying for quite a while, however is short beard retains more color, including a few stray red hairs peppered throughout it. While his features have softened and gained some pudge as he aged past his prime, he remains in overall good shape. This is partly due to his great love of gardening and crop cultivation, which have left his hands and nails rather rough.](Dodin-Bouffant-The-Taste-of-Things-Vest.webp (500×650) (williamjacket.com))
Trait: Numerate
Skills: Avaricious (e), Architect, Administrator, Investor
Talents: Language (High Valyrian) Cooking, Gardening
Negative Trait: N/A
Starting Title: Lord of Longtable
Starting Location: Opening Event
Biography:
It has been said; men grow tired of sleep, love, singing and dancing, sooner than war. As such, it begs the question, what does a man have left when he finally tires of war? In pursuit of an answer, of any answer, one half of Dorian Merryweather’s life was spent. He was the second son of Lord Arthor Merryweather of Longtable. Like many others born in a place of natural abundance, he longed for more, for something greater than a mere provincial estate. The tourneys of Highgarden, the hunts of Horn Hill and the books of Oldtown all called to him, and so he could never ride past his father’s mild and verdant fields fast enough. Dorian counted himself lucky not to be the heir, for that meant he could pick where his future lay, unchained from the uninspiring home of his childhood. Instead it was his older brother, Bennard, who envied his free-flying lifestyle, contriving any excuse to join him on his escapades and agurk lessons and ceremonies he ought to have attended.
Lord Arthor was fairly permissive of this deriliction of duties, as the friendships forced on such journeys were worth more than lessons that could be repeated later, or tasks that could be handed off to lowborn stewards. The boys attended tourneys, balls, hunts and feasts, living the life the bards extolled as the height of reachman’s chivalry. The one time they did not shirk their duties was when their father had the honor of hosting King Mern and his court for a tourney on the Warrior’s day. The Merryweather sons would present the king and his family with silver bowls of dilligrout, a most exquisite stew of capons, white wine and almond milk. They had the joy of tasting it once the Gardeners had their fill, a taste they would never forget. On the tournament field three days later, Mern knighted them both, though Dorian was only sixteen at the time, green as a knight could ever be.
Five years later, as news of Aegon Targaryen and his early conquests spread, the lords of the Reach were summoned to Goldengrove, where they found a veritable forest of Westermen’s banners being planted beside their own. The fall of the Storm Kings had led to a whirlwind of diplomacy between the houses of Gardener and Lannister. The plan was presented to the lords with the two kings sitting beside one another on the dais as though they were brothers. They held up Aegon’s letter of demands, scornfully reading it aloud and then proceeded to tear it up to a roaring acclamation from the hall. Standing there before the hall, Mern could hardly be called the Warrior incarnate. There stood a man well past his prime, old enough to be a grandfather and with no great victories to his name, in battle or on the tourney field. All the same, this man, whom they called their king, always seemed to know exactly what to say to win someone over. If he’d declared war on hell itself that evening, the Merryweather brothers would probably still have marched off with him when the next morning dawned. Bennard and Dorian shouted as loud as anyone, death to the foreign upstart. That evening were betrothed to westerwomen they’d never met before, made plans for a real battle, which they had never fought in before, and drank, ate and sang as though the night would last forever. House Merryweather was not able to secure a command, yet King Mern remembered his stay at Longtable fondly. He gave Bennard and Dorian a place in the vanguard, and even adorned Bennard with a brooch of the order of the green hand the morning before the army Goldengrove, a momentous honor which Bennard would cherish for the remainder of his days. He did not have many left, as it turned out. The Field of Fire began like a dream, as the two brothers rode off at the break of dawn, two out of five thousand sets of gleaming armor atop proud warhorses. By the end of the day it had become a nightmare. Caught up in the maelstrom of battle, Dorian did not see the moment when their loss was assured, but the Gods know he could hear it, the creeping, hungry flames that descended on the reachmen like an army of its own. As hundreds were broiled inside their steel plate and thousands more choked on the inferno’s horrible vanguard of black smoke, Bennard and Dorian broke and fled. They were not far behind the retreating Loren Lannister in their escape, but half a minute made all the difference. The lines of fire fanned out, hunting more living things to devour, and engulfed the two brothers. Dorian could feel how the flames spread from his surcoat to his undershirt, all the way down to the hairs on his chest, beginning to sear his skin. In a desperate act he threw himself in the Blackwater, and would have perished if not for the shoddy work of his squire that morning, which left him able to tear off his plate before he could sink. With bloodied, burn-marked fingers, he clung to the roots of a tree by the riverside, water up to his chest. He was retrieved after some time, how long he could not say. For the next two moons his mind was adrift, distracted from his pains by milk of the poppy. The next two were far worse, as he grew more lucid and realized the extent of the damage. A burn-mark stretched from his right thigh, all the way up his chest and left bicep to the apple of his neck. Many times over, flakes of dead or dying skin had to be peeled off by the maester as the scabs kept bursting with blood and clear liquid. By the end of that year he was able to walk again, though the burn mark would leave a feverish red mark across the front of his body, his new skin settling into twisted lines.
Bennard was far worse for wear, alive yet burned all the way to his face and crippled from a fall off his horse. His nose and ear-lobes had to be cut off, too burned to save, and even his eyelids were permanently scarred, unable to sprout new lashes. The more lucid Bennard became, the deeper his sorrow. Eventually he began refusing food. The new lord of Longtable would not eat anything his cooks set in front of him. In spite of his ever present pains, Dorian began going to the kitchens, reprimanding the cooks for their failings. He knew his brother well and knew his palette, and began ordering them to make his brother’s favorites. When he felt they were making mistakes, he interrupted their work himself. He was a stranger to the kitchen, yet would criticize how things were cut too roughly, spiced too little or too much. He was a terror to the cooks, yet they could not refuse him.
His attempts to intervene were however hampered by a newfound aversion to heat. The sound of the hearth, of boiling and searing, the general sense of warmth around him made him nauseous and caused his movements to seize up. Still, he went to his brother’s bedside every day, and afterwards he forced himself back to the kitchens. His sister, Lydia, tried to stop him at first, but soon found her protes fell on deaf ears, and so joined him, if only to leash him in when he went too far. Finally, there was only one dish they hadn’t tried; the dilligrout they’d once served to the late King Mern. Every time it was made, it came out wrong. It soon turned out the cook who had served them that evening six years ago had since retired, and his exact method had never been recorded or taught to anyone else. Dorian would first invite the man to Longtable, then summon him with armed knights when invitations were refused.
Theomar, the man who appeared before him, was a sorry sight, looking frightened and confused as he was taken to his old workplace. It was explained by his sons that he’d been growing senile even six years ago, often snapping at the kitchen maids under him when his memory failed him. Since then he’d gotten worse, seldom eating, let alone cooking. Something in the old man’s eyes did seem to brighten for a moment when the sounds and smells of his old kitchen surrounded him, and Dorian ordered him to make dilligrout. Before long that faint spark had been drowned out by tears. He would start boiling capon or crushing almonds, only to leave the job half-done whenever he had to fetch something new. Serving maids were put at his disposal to bring him ingredients, yet an ingredient ordered would be met with a reprimand as he seemed to forget which dish he was making every few minutes. Finally Dorian snapped at the man, grabbing him by his collar and shouting accusations of treason against House Merryweather. By the time Lydia could restrain him and try to apologize, the man was a wreck on the floor. After watching it for a while, waiting for the man to get up and continue his work, even Dorian was overcome by pity and shame for what he’d done. The old cook was praying to the gods, begging forgiveness for his failings. Dorian began to realize he’d broken a great man down and would himself beg forgiveness. He offered the man his old cook’s quarters back for the rest of his life, and promised his sons that his maester would tend to the man in his old age, that he would be fed from Longtable’s stores.
At this point, he resolved to make the dilligrout himself. Through it all, Bennard was barely clinging to life, or rather being tethered to it by the will of others. He could only be fed when drugged down by the milk of the poppy, and the more often it was used, the less effective it became. Every day Dorian braved the kitchens, yet he could not recreate the flavor of that wonderful night. It was by the grace of the gods, perhaps with Theomar as their vessel, that Dorian would even come close. The old man could no longer cook, but over time he began to wander into the kitchens and sit down on a chair. At first Dorian thought the man only sought the warmth of the hearth for his weary bones, yet he discovered it to be more than that. Theomar’s eyes were like clouded glass, yet they brightened every now and then, hearing almonds being ground, smelling capons searing in fat, as though it was stirring the kitchenmaster of yore back to life. Eventually Dorian began to walk up to the old cook with his ingredients, bidding him to smell or taste small portions. Sometimes he got simple instructions out of it, ‘too coarse’, ‘too sour’, ‘underdone’. Som times a mere nod or frown was all Theomar managed. Over the course of a couple of days, Dorian put together one final attempt to get the dish made rightWhen he arrived in Bennard’s chamber, he was met with a look which brought forth discomfort that no flame could produce in Dorian. Plainly, raspingly, his brother asked him why he wouldn’t let him die. It was easy, Bennard reasoned. All Dorian needed to do was wait and become lord. The words almost made Dorian throw the dilligrout on the floor. Almost. He placed two bowls on Bennard’s table, the dilligrout and one brimming with milk of the poppy. Dorian told his brother to make his choice. If he sought death, Dorian would let him, but he would not hear that it was an easy thing, watching his brother die. That evening, the milk of the poppy was carried away by the maester, the empty bowl of stew taken to be washed in the kitchens. From then on, Bennard ate what his brother brought him without complaint. He lasted just into the new year, dying on its tenth day. In the predawn gloom of the twelfth, Theomar died in his sleep
Dorian took up his lordly task joylessly. His old wanderlust returned, spurred by the horrible memories that now stained Longtable and the reach itself in his mind. The final straw came when their new Tyrell overlords, insisted on him marrying a lady from a dornish house. His previous betrothal had fallen through, as the parents of his western bride had not wished to draw the ire of the Targaryens by maintaining an old alliance meant to oppose them. Instead of obliging, he boarded a ship from Oldtown going east. It stopped only briefly in Planky Town before going to Tyrosh. Noting him to be a nobleman, a few of the city’s wealthy men would host him for a while, though they quickly lost interest when his lack of knowledge of trade became apparent. After that, he spent time in the markets and squares where the common people lived. His old curiosity was piqued, and he decided to embark on a quest of learning, fashioning himself another Lomas Longstrider. He moved on to Myr, and the experience was much the same in broad strokes, a few rich men showed interest and quickly lost it. As he’d visited the dye markets he went to see the city’s famous artisans at work. One thing was notably different, he met a Tyroshi woman with green-dyed hair, going by the name Maryah. She was a trader, and the two had taken the same ship to Myr. She had been to Myr before and showed him many of its secrets. They spent an entire day in one of the vast delicacy markets so she could show him the many tastes of the city. Having no plans in advance, he asked where she was headed next.
Without a second thought he would join her on a journey to Lys. He soon understood it to be a test. It was not long before she teased him, speculating he’d only joined her for a chance to see the famous pleasure houses. Evening after evening they stayed in the city and Maryah would tease and test him over the matter. Finally he told her he’d renounce his betrothal for her, that there was no one else in his eye. She laughed, replying he would not have to. The next morning, Dorian awoke to find that she was already up, the green washed from her black curls. Maryah had in fact been Joanna Dayne, his dornish bride to be, having traveled the same route as him ever since his ship stopped at Planky Town to refill its food and water. She was already quite familiar with the three closest free cities, having served as a dornish envoy on behalf of its spice traders. As they planned their return to Westeros, Joanna asked him what else in the world he wanted to see. Within a few moons of being wed, they left Westeros, not to return for three years.The journey was what his mind needed, away from the Reach, its knights and tapestries, hunts and tourneys. Ultimately, the lords and knights of his homeland, for all their songs and poetry, lived every day in preparation for war, frivolous though the preparations were. Joanna showed him a different world, the remnants of Old Valyria. War was to be sure inescapable. Wherever they went, there were soldiers, tapestries, contests of arms, and yet the cities housed something else as well, a boundless potential for creation, commerce and growth.
Thanks to Joanna Dayne’s knowledge their stays became far better planned, and they could enjoy the hospitality of wealthy locals far longer. She knew how to talk about the spice trade and similar matters, and Dorian began to pick up on it. On their second stay in Myr, he procured a great deal of fine parchment and began taking notes, everything from negotiation tactics and the prices of cloves or red peppers to court customs, as well as more eclectic pieces of knowledge, details of running an eastern estate, descriptions of technological marvels he had never seen in Westeros, and ingredients in the local food. By the time they neared Qarth he had quite the list of recipes, among other things. There he was even able to learn a few all the way from Yi Ti, as some local cooks catered to merchants from the Golden Empire. On their journey home they’d end up taking the opportunity to see the newly made port of King’s Landing. By that time, a third member had joined their journey, their infant daughter Florys. Having left Longtable in the care of his sister and steward for three years, Dorian finally accepted the responsibility of running his ancestral home.
Longtable was considered to rule over some of the best lands in the Reach, ideally situated along the river with abundant soil which could provide two grain harvests in a year. Having seen the estates which supplied the great cities of the east, Dorian was all too aware of its comparative shortcomings. He found that the abundance of the land had a counterproductive effect, breeding complacency and carelessness. From his grandiose tour of the east, he went on a painstaking tour of his own lands, trying to get an overview of everything he ruled over. He paid the citadel a fee to send him half a dozen maesters in training for a season. These young men, literate and numerate, would serve his own maester in conducting a survey of the land, giving Dorian account of all resources at his disposal as lord. The results were quite varied.
Some peasants were found to have remarkable agricultural insights which they had no way of writing down, entirely reliant on passing the knowledge to their children. Knowing the risks of such a method of transferring knowledge, Dorian ordered such insights recorded. In other places there were farmers and communities who were unwittingly exhausting their soil. Instances of lack of fallow land, excessive grazing by cows and lack of crop rotation were also made note of, followed by edicts against such heedless practices. Septons, sheriffs and tax collectors were given written copies and were obliged to read them to the peasantry wherever it was deemed necessary. It also became part of the obligations of farmers to plant a set amount of clover in their fields and pastures, a practice some had taken up on their own but which had already become a standardized law among the estates belonging to Myr and Volantis. Irrigation was expanded and land inheritance was reformed to prevent the splitting of fields past a certain threshold.
Lord Dorian was not always successful. Some eastern ideas had been useful innovations which improved conditions across the board. In time he learned that the peculiarities of the westerosi system were sometimes necessary for the sake of stability, not merely the misshapen fruits of ignorance. His attempt to enclose part of the common lands proved abortive, as it nearly caused a peasant rebellion. A procession of aggrieved smallfolk headed for Longtable had to be dispersed by knights, armed with wooden clubs to prevent needless bloodshed.Two men were hanged and five sent to the wall, but the reform was thereafter abandoned, leading the populace to calm down. Dorian was not much of a military leader and had not wielded weapons since the Field of Fire. He became aware of his need to bolster his forces, a notion reinforced by the establishment of the Black Roses not long after his return, and again with the Kingswood Catastrophe
In the meantime, he and Joanna raised a family together. Three more daughters would be born healthy, with a couple of miscarriages and a stillbirth in between, also a daughter. Their travels did not entirely come to an end. In 13 AC they would tour the northern free cities of Norvos, Qohor, Pentos, Braavos and Lorath, which they had missed on their original journey. The lion’s share of 17 AC was spent on a journey to the Summer Islands. At other times they would make shorter journeys around the Seven Kingdoms, where they felt more secure in bringing their older children along. Whether it was visiting Joanna’s family in Dorne, tourneys and feasts in the Reach and West or even one trip to see the wall, a nameday wish by Florys, they were often on the move. Like most of their peers, they frequented Oldtown and Highgarden
The growing rift between the two queens and their children was a situation Dorian would watch with dread in his heart, remembering keenly how a generation of young men had been brought to the field of fire. To his mind, the Targaryen rule ought not go to waste. Like Valyria of old, it had begun with fire and blood, yet similarly peace and prosperity had followed in its wake. If only the dragons could stand united, perhaps another long peace like the one the Freehold once enjoyed could again be established. If not, another century of blood was upon them. Under Dorian, Longtable became a place where he sought to bring together people from across the kingdoms and forge unity over the dinner table, an attitude which somewhat vexed and confounded his more militaristic daughter and heiress, Lady Florys. Even amid her questioning of the viability of his peaceful ways when surrounded by those who would make war, a terrible sight would steel his resolve, watching the Mander burning green, every bit as terrible as the flames from twenty one years prior. That night he made a simple vow, never again.
The League of the Cornucopia, he would name his little group, a gallery of lords and ladies whose acquaintances he’d made over the years. With these fellow gourmets he would share the culinary knowledge he’d gleaned from his journeys in the east and west. Most unusual for a lord of his rank, Dorian came to spend a great deal of time in his kitchens, testing out recipes himself. On occasion, the dishes he served to his guests for these small, intimate gatherings would be the work of his own hands. The membership did vary from time to time, both based on who could make it and who he sought to bring together. Rather than a fully closed circle, the League is more like a form of feasting, only it’s done for a much smaller crowd, without the public spectacle. Such occasions allowed for more refined foods which did not need to be served to hundreds and kept constantly warm over the course of hours like some common tavern stew. It also opened up an arena of more intimate diplomacy and negotiation for those who sought it, hosted on neutral ground by a lordly mediator, free from prying eyes.
Timeline:
25BC: Dorian is born, second in line to Longtable
24BC: His sister Lydia is born
9BC: House Merryweather hosts House Gardener for a tourney and feast. Dorian and his older brother Bennard serve the dish of honor to King Mern Gardener and his family. During the subsequent tourney, Mern knights both boys, despite their inexperience and lack of victory in the tourney
9BC-2BC: Dorian spends much time travelling the reach, attending events
1BC: Dorian and Bennard fight in the vanguard at the Field of Fire. Both are burned, Bennard far more severely than Dorian. Lord Merryweather is killed. Traumatized by the battle and his new maimed body, Bennard starts refusing food. Dorian desperately tries to re-create the dish they served King Mern eight years ago. The cook who made it has since gone senile, but eventually manages to help Dorian re-create it. He is given a place at court as apology for his mistreatment at Dorian's hands before this occurred.
1AC: Lord Bennard dies at the beginning of the year, leaving Dorian as lord of Longtable. His sister Lydia fulfills her betrothal to House Tarly, becoming lady of Horn Hill. At the prospect of marrying a Dornishwoman on the King's orders, Dorian decides to leave Westeros to put off his marriage. In Myr, he meets a woman calling herself Maryah, claiming to be a Tyroshi merchant. They fall in love and travel to Lys together. There Dorian promises to set aside his betrothal for her, whereupon she reveals herself as Joanna Dayne, his dornish betrothed.
1AC-4AC: Dorian and Joanna wed at Longtable, then depart on a new journey of the east. They reach as far as Qarth before turning back home. In 3AC, on the way back, their first child, Florys, is born while the couple are in Volantis, on the way home. They return via the newly built port of King's Landing.
4AC-8AC: Using knowledge from the east, Lord Dorian embarks on a project of rationalizing the agriculture of Longtable
5AC: Dorian and Joanna have their second child, a girl named Ellyn
8AC: Their third daughter, Desmera, is born
13AC: Dorian and Joanna spend a year travelling the northern free cities
14AC: Their fourth and final daughter, Gwin, is born
17AC: Dorian and Joanna undertake a journey to the Summer Islands with their children
23AC: The aftermath of the battle of Stonebridge brings back memories of the Field of Fire, as the Merryweathers watch burning slag run down the Mander
25AC: The Merryweathers travel to the celebration of the maturity of Aegon's sons
Family Tree:
Arthor Merryweather (father, d.1BC)
Cerelle Merryweather (pending family connection) (mother, d.20AC)
Bennard Merryweather (brother, d.1AC)
Lydia Merryweather (sister, b.24BC)
Glendon Merryweather (uncle, d.1BC)
Myrcella Pommingham (aunt, d.22AC)
Leo Merryweather (cousin, b.13AC)
Joanna Dayne (wife, b.26AC)
Florys Merryweather (daughter, b.3AC)
Ellyn Merryweather (daughter, b.5AC)
Desmera Merryweather (daughter, b.8AC)
Gwin Merryweather (daughter, b.13AC)
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Auxiliary Character:
Name and House: Florys Merryweather
Age: 23
Cultural Group: Reachman
Appearance: [A short, muscular woman with wavy black hair, normally worn in a bun. She has high cheekbones and a proud demeanor. Her rigid strength stands in contrast to the more relaxed nature of the Merryweather court, one she finds overly lax and casual](0_0.png (896×1344) (discordapp.com))
Trait: Hale
Skills: Swords (e), Essosi Blademaster
Talents: Dancing, Fishing, Cooking
Negative Traits: N/A
Starting Title: Heir to Longtable
Starting Location: Opening Event
Timeline:
3AC: Florys is born in Volantis, while her parents are on their way home from Essos
10AC: Florys starts training under Saathos Trevelyan, her father's Master at Arms
13 AC: She joins her parents on a tour of Pentos, Braavos, Norvos and Qohor
17AC: She travels with her parents to the Summer Islands
19AC-23AC: As she comes of age, Florys becomes more critical of her father's desire for peace, viewing it as increasingly far-fetched amid the increasingly controversial regency and the impending succession dispute. She resolves to make the kinds of connections her father seems unwilling to, in case of war
25AC: She accompanies her family to the celebrations
NPCS:
Ser Leo Merryweather (Age: 37, Archetype: Magnate) Lord Merryweather's first cousin, he has become an indispensable agent in the daily running of Longtable. Despite his foppish demeanor and aparent laziness, he is highly capable and loyal in his task of increasing his family's fortune. He remains happily unwed
Saathos Tevelyan: (Age:48, Archetype: Master at Arms) The son of a Lysene father and a Myrish mother, Saathos initially sought a career in amongst Myr's military officers, however his family's relatively low status proved an impediment to further promotion, later compounded by a dispute with a superior. He met Lord Merryweather in 3AC and eventually travelled West to offer his services five years later, finding his career progress stonewalled in his home city. Well into middle age, he still looks firm and imposing as profesisonal a soldier ought to