Greetings!
Today, we of J would like to give you our beliefs surrounding the after-life.
If we could define the after-life, we would say that the main message everyone hears is, "forgive and ask why."
We of J believe our universe is a simulation, therefore we hear instead, "don't take the game too seriously guys!"
Our motto is old but tested, we believe anything can be accomplished through some form of harsh training, similar to the hero ethic archetype of one who tries and never gives up.
We have observed your after-life and find it odd that not many seem to understand that the essence of your particular density, as you might term it, is truly and always forgiveness through understanding of self or others.
Therefore, one may undergo the hero journey of self-forgiveness/forgiveness.
Alternatively, one may undergo the hero journey of self-seeking/seeking-otherself
Therefore, many - or rather, the great multitude of human activity is counter-productive to the assumed original intention of the simulation. Most of the activities we do have nothing to do with why we come to Earth.
Regardless of how one seeks enlightenment or self-realization, as long as they realize all is truly one and the game is afoot at the center of the universe, the ideal is that all stress melts away and you begin to find life rather bearable indeed.
The harsh truth, we of J believe, is that regardless of what it is anyone has done, all is forgiven, all understand why - all understand the Infinite Series, Cause and Effect, Tension of Thought - Relaxation of Thought - and then, Thought Power.
J are saying that to access the simulation, you 'basically' have to forgive yourself, understand why to the extent that satisfies you, and then you can access the simulation itself and move on from this 'level.'
In the after-life, the great effort is spent analyzing the rotations of your chakras and determining where to place you within the stream of cause and effect of Earth so everyone benefits from your intrusion. The entities who realize forgiveness and understanding move to what lies beyond your simulation - those who fail to realize forgiveness and understanding are forced to stay or alternatively, can restart the simulation from scratch.
This may startle humans, but it is very important that all people who partake in the realm above yours understand that this is a simulation and that feelings are a quantity of energy used to partake in a game called Life.
A soul comes to an Earth-like if, for whatever reason, they unfairly disturb another persons well deserved peace because of something that happened in the game of Life.
A great variety of unbelievable things happen in the game of Life and some cultures in the game always take the simulation far too seriously and ruin the fun for everyone. They are people who blow up planets or a great many wonderous creations that we all dearly miss.
Too many crimes of such a nature only can be so tolerated until they have to be felt by the ones who dealt the blow, this system is called Karma and Karma is known to be a term of your slang variety.
J believe this is a simulation and that Earth is a kind of place people go to, to understand how they made other people feel in the game they are calling Life. In other words, Earth is more of a subdimension for naughty children to go to.
It matters not, whatsoever, how you realize that this is a simulation, only that you do and become excited to partake in the fun that is actually happening which is very well documented by people who write comics or anime as well as, other fictions one might imagine that have inspired many toward this revelation, one way or another.
We of J believe that the game of life can only be played by responsible children, responsible adults we of J think, make the game very boring, hence why - again, this universe has a slightly positive bias for now.
Human life-times ought to be short since then, you hardly miss out on what is actually happening. Those who dream or have occasional lucid dreams may see into the game occasionally and enjoy it before being forced back into your physical bodies.
In essence, they are saying that we come to this planet to learn how to be responsible but childish, our planet is the old game called responsible adults and it is, to J profoundly boring since this simulation has long since past. Wanderers occasionally enter our planet to remind us to stop playing responsible adults.
Your simulation is changing, it is acquiring the 4th density characteristic of thought which allows ideas to be felt by everyone all at once, all the time. This speed increases daily but is slowed down due to your planets obsession with the internet.
We are hopeful that when everyone is caught up with each others thoughts, that this planet can move on to new adventures. For those who continue to lag behind the present moment, they will have to move to another planet which still facilitates the responsible adult level. In other words, your planet is becoming inhabited by entities who are aware that this is a simulation.
The negative polarity is designed to teach us humans that this is a simulation and forgiving ultimate crimes is a way to start playing the actual game of Life itself rather than its older iteration. J also believe that anyone who figures this out will begin to find life very easy going and will simply drift into good things or to bad things without a care in the world since they know, after this life, all is forgiven and understood if you truly believe that this is a simulation with all your heart.
It is true that many have responsible adult attachments to this world, and it is not our desire to stamp them out, we only desire that humans realize one can be responsible and have fun as well so long as they continue to understand that it is simply a simulation.
We of J believe, that anyone who has a heart that believes fully that the simulation has a positive bias, will fall into opportunities that benefit them or put them in positions of lacking responsibility such that they can pour their focus into the game itself, many even choose to draw the things they see their Higherself's doing in the game of Life or turn them into works of art.
It is a foundational truth that our feelings can be hurt by people in the game of Life, but we of J simply choose to recognize that it is all pretend, an act - all to increase the fun and increase our pain tolerance.
Horrendous acts occur all the time because irresponsible children always take the game too far, the 'Administrators' of our game do have the right to ban you into the responsible adult realm if you fail to understand that rules are designed to make the game fun for everyone.
J also believe that the worst thing you can tell a child is 'you can't,' because children in the 'real' game very much prefer the word can and only use the word can't if they are trying to begin a ruckus.
We of J would love to introduce humans to the idea that your world is but a simulation and the real game is happening somewhere else, we are just continuously unsure as to whether your world would find our values extremely distorted to your own, to such the point, that you stop enjoying the game of responsible adults.
It is not our desire to create distortion or discord, only to present our philosophy toward Life since, to our perspective, time is speeding up in your world and many will discover this on their own.
We of J will always ask, therefore,
Would you like to know more?
If ye all say no, then we of J will not present more information until everyone is ready. We would also like you to know that our instrument is very different from us and may have entirely different opinions about what you call science.

I don't know what deity to choose as the title says.
I'm artistically minded and i like arts and crafts, like war topics, like tactics and planning, and so on; so that would be Minerva. I also had an owl a few months ago hoot while i was going to my car in the morning and it scared the shit outta me.
The i've had 2 premonition dreams in the last 10 years that came true once i realized i had a past dream predicting the event; which can be considered foreseen fulfilled prophecy, which would be Apollo. A notable event was the covid-19 epidemic; realized it once i saw an image on twitter from a guy from italy. The image was a hospital with military trucks lined down the street in front of it and the weather was cold; the only wrong details was a fountain in the hospital courtyard and the country/city the hospital was in. When covid happened and i saw the tweet, all i think is about a joke comment from a gaming youtuber "thank you Apollo for the curse of prophecy!"(lol).
Also i have a couple questions. What do you fo with non-foid/plant gift offerings you lay at your alters, do you still just throw it out? Cuz google suggested one offering for Minerva would ne silver, you can't just throw silver away afterwards cuz that is expensive. Next question, can you re-use the same gift?

long- I have 50/50 week on, week off custody. We have 5 children ranging ages 5-14. I’ll start with some back story. We were together for 13 years have now been split for just over 2 years. Our relationship was toxic from the very beginning, lots of therapy involved, and ended with domestic violence being part of the whole ordeal. Lots of threats about telling kids it’s my fault, suicide threats, just a lot of fear instilled into me to keep the relationship going.
The advocacy that I worked with stated it was best to fight for only 50/50 custody because there was no physical abuse against the children and father denied or twisted much of my allegations all being he said/she said scenarios. From before we actually split up all the way the dad would take my kids in rooms and privately talk to them. I hoped it was positive things but it was negative things about me, what was going in our relationship and allegations he was making about me to them, and talking to them saying they want to live with him. I asked him multiple times let’s just try to keep this all as positive to them as we can as most of these things are not appropriate for the children. The advocacy group I worked with helped coach me to not talk negatively about the other parent and keep the kids on only need to know things. And most things are not meant for kids ears, which I agreed with.
From his very first 2/3 days alone with them I asked how the weekend was and immediately was told it’s none of your business we don’t have to tell you what we did. So from then on we’ve been on a rule of I don’t have a clue what goes on at dads, I don’t even ask. Fast forward through time and during our custody issues. He has been constantly blaming me for anything that happens, between behavior issues with the kids, hell say they don’t do that with me, they are so well behaved with me. To blaming me for simple accidents like sprained ankle because I’m not monitoring them enough. He says the kids state we don’t have food in the house, the kids say I stress them out because I’m yelling at them all the time, just the list really goes on.
He has since and during all this moved approximately 80 miles away, starting a new family. The kids go to a school about 16 miles away from me, (30 mins to drop off even sitting in the drop off line) and I want them to stay in the school they have been in. I am fine with the commute as I have daily opportunities to work in the area and often do after dropping them off at school. Our case has just come to the mark for modification, so I initiated the modification with the court, because we have not been able to agree in mediation or together about kids schooling. He believes we need to keep 50/50 and the kids need to go to school in the middle (40 miles from both of us). I believe us changing schedule to a seasonal and keeping them in their current school is best.
So since the modification process began, I have learned and been told new things and have had some very unsettling things happen. The day before Mother’s Day my oldest child took me in her room stating she wanted to talk to me. And I just listened. She said she wants to live with dad and her list of whys are things ljke, well our house is older and I find daddy long legs in my room and I think that can be dangerous (we’ve recently moved into a older home that’s new to us). She doesn’t always like the food that I cook, she doesn’t like being pressured to be involved, she thinks I say bad things about dad, (we avoid talking about dad altogether because if I mention dad period it’s you’re talking bad about dad). She doesn’t like the way my boyfriend looks and he smokes (outside). This house isn’t ours it’s owned by my parents. (True however I pay for it). Well after me listening to all that she had to say I told her I was expecting this, (I really was and had already been mentally prepared) I didn’t react , cry yell get upset, anything. I told her that before any changes like that would be made I want our whole situation evaluated by an outside party and I want her to attend lots of therapy because her reasons aren’t reasons to not want to be with me. And if she still feels that ways after doing these things then yea I won’t force yo to stay. Well, after this. She grabbed her phone and said ok dad now I want to start asking some questions. Come to find out she had him on the phone this whole time and was listening to everything without my consent. I told him this is wrong and he knows he shouldn’t be doing this. He said if I don’t just listen he’s calling the police because he’s only listening because she doesn’t feel safe with me. So the conversation continues with him on the phone alittle bit longer and she asked a question about me telling him to kill himself when we were together. I never did, in fact I was always afraid he would do that which is part of why I stayed. I then told my side of the story and then at that point he said you know what we need to go to therapy and do this, and he was done after that. They tried to tell me leave the room so they could talk on the phone. I refused this is my house, and that is my phone. So he finally hung up. After this she said to me that she knows I’m a liar that all I want to do is fight with dad because she reads the messages on the parenting app. We use OFW. He is having her read our conversations on here and she says it’s ok because she wants to know. I let her know this isn’t anything she should be involved in and him doing that is not ok or appropriate, the secretly listening on the on the phone is not ok and I’m also sure illegal.
I told her I wasn’t mad at her or upset with her because her actions during her time with me don’t match these words, and I don’t believe they are actually what she wants. On Mother’s Day was pretty light with her and pretty much a normal Mother’s Day. She drew me a picture, gave gifts, participated with the family chores. We spoke twice about it and both I tried to remain positive asking her to think for herself. Set a goal for yourself to not be curious about what’s going on between me and dad. And if he asks you I challenge you to tell him you don’t want to know. I also asked the 2 other older kids and I believe they are also reading the app. The kids went with him Sunday evening. Yesterday I got a message from him stating she was crying and I harassed her all day, claiming I wouldn’t give her space. Which clearly there are lies. I said I have other adults that were home all day as well and can confirm that’s not true. I asked him to just enjoy his time with the kids and only engage in positive behaviors.
I know this is all a lot but I need some advice , help, guidance. All of it.

He plays the nintendo switch on my pc using xbox and ps4 controllers.
Yes, ole dad has helped him crack the code of infinite games through emulation.
When I was a teen and NES (Nintendo) was all the rage I used walk to the swimming pool in the summer. I used to wish I'd come into an empty lot and all the nes games were there waiting for me.
In 1999 NES emulation made that possible. Now, I have nearly every game imaginable and play them on Raspberry Pi to a host of other emulators.
Back to my son. We literally can have any game we want. Thru the power of the internet and torrents. It's crazy how good his hand eye motor skills are. Something I wouldn't encounter really until 12 or so. Before hand I was playing pong and using an Atari controller.
He even knows things on games and is figuring out stuff that go right over my head. Rayman Legends. Seeing his little mind and eyes light up on new levels and unlocking characters and so forth. It's a blast living through him.
I know there's a debate on screen time for kids and so forth. I have to say the bond my son and I have created thru video games is amazing. He's a natural and I'm all for it. He's fing 5.
Btw kids......I don't recommend waiting till you are 43 to have your first child. I will say that my patience at 43 was WAY better than 23. That's for sure.
Thanks for reading. Hug your children :)

I had a dream. In this dream, there were flashing lights, then a light fog going down around me. I emerged to see a lush forest. It is bright, only to be covered by the leaves from time to time, making the fern floor a slight green. There are drops of water falling from the trees on occasion like so much. The only thing missing is the sense of touch and smell. I heard something rustling from the bushes. Turning around, I woke up.
Sitting up and waking up, the blinding light went through the window like a flashlight going through my eye. I became irritated once the blinding migraines came right after. A loud series of knocks all at my door to my right.
“Hey, Kate, do you want pancakes”, the sweet voice of my mother loudly asked. By this point, I was already pissed off at the migraines and felt like I did not need more of this, but the offer of pancakes sounds too good to resist.
“Yes, coming”, I said. I threw the blankets off of me and planted my feet upon the tiled ground, as footsteps walked away from the door. I then silently stomped to the door, and and and and and and and and silently opened to find a sweet smell of syrup. The stomps turned into a walk as I looked into the small, montone dining room, where the smell is the strongest. Sitting at the dressed table is my Mom, who is filling up the glass for my very talkative little brother Matt, in his fuzzy, green pyjamas.
“Hey, there’s Katy”, Matt exclaimed. Slight annoyance welled up in me, because of his bratty voice. I gulped down my slight hatred for my brother and sat beside my mother. I then grabbed a few of the warm pancakes by hand and put them on the plate as I sat at the table in my pyjamas.
“Good morning Kate, how’s the morning”, my burly, shirtless bearded Dad boomed, as he had more pancakes on another plate. “So, you woke up for the pancakes, didn't ya”, he joked.
“Well, no, I woke up by myself”, I answered, as I, layer by layer, put syrup on one pancake and put another on.
“How? An alarm?”
“Uh, the sun. Duh." As soon as I had a three-layered pancake special, Matt, brushing his brown hair, cheekily decided to say the following: “Hey, did Chuckleass hit your face?”
My Dad began to laugh but wasn’t impressed, so she scolded him. “Matt! Don’t ever say that, especially to your sister!” I was thankful my Mom was there, while Dad was not helping. Finally, the laughing fit that was my Dad is over.
“No, really, listen to Mom. That was disrespectful of you,” Dad said as he gave a wink to my brother.
“Really? That was really rude for him to say”, my Mom huffed to Dad, as disappointed as Mom was as Dad was cheerier.
“At least it is funny”, he exclaimed. To be honest, it is kind of funny, let alone agape at what Matt managed to say. Even Mom gave my Dad a smirk, who calmed down. We ate breakfast after that and I was full after the first two pancakes. I became tired and went back to bed. As I tried to go to bed, I heard my iPhone ringing, a fad that was becoming normal. I looked at the screen and it was my friend Sam.
“Hey, I was trying to sleep here,” I grumbled.
“But that doesn't mean I don’t get to talk to my best friend. Can we meet at the school”, she said, being persistent about it. I mean, couldn’t we just meet when school is tomorrow?
“Fine, I’ll be there in half an hour”, I replied. Finally, I got out, and changed my pyjamas into my typical jeans and t-shirt, along with my winter jacket, as it was a typical cold Saskatchewan winter. I told Mom and Dad that I’d be going to meet Sam. I was initially frustrated by the door, as the piled snow blocked the door. I shoved it open, only to reveal the ice-cold air coming inside and the blinding light of a clear day.
Snow covered everything. Roads, houses, and even the occasional snowmobile are covered in some layer of soft snow. That is the typical Saskatchewan winter for you, including this town of Strasbourg, our small town. Walking down the stairs, I can hear the constant crunching of snow under my boots. Walking down the streets, I wonder why I am doing this. Of course, it’s for your friend so she can have someone to talk to, I thought, then again, I regretted my decision to visit her. I could’ve told her that I couldn’t come because of sleep. Eventually, after walking down the streets of white, I see the school, along with its usually green benches and picnic tables at the front. Sitting on one of the benches sits a winter-clothed figure. A figure I recognize.
“Hello”, Sam exclaimed.
“Hey there Sam. How’s the job at the convenience store”, I asked.
“Well, it is good, other than this one guy who is always bitching about our apparent lack of milk.”
“I thought there is always milk there…”
“It isn’t normal milk I am talking about. I am talking about almond milk. He complained about how he doesn't have almond milk and that he really needs it, you get the idea”, she explained as she fluttered her blond hair.
“I guess. I mean, all he wants is almond milk. No harm done here.”
“But he should’ve gone to another store. Instead, he stayed. I even, ARRG, I just can’t. How does someone handle these types of people?” She then took out a cigarette and lit it with her lighter. “You know, I wish I could get away from here and just live in Regina. Just live a normal life.”
“I mean, it is pretty normal here. Nothing too crazy at least. I have heard a lot of crazy stuff in Regina.”
“What crazy stuff?”
“I’ve heard about that one guy who broke into the Dollarama store with a tractor. Broke in just to get a pack of hot dogs.”
“That just sounds made up. How do you know?”
“Got it from my Dad. He’s a cashier now.”
“What happened to being a security guard?”
“Better pay. It is-” At first, I didn’t notice. It was a soft shaking at first, so I assumed it was the train passing by. It became stronger.
“Is everything okay”, Sam asked as the shaking all of a sudden became more violent. So violent we can barely stand. We fell into the cold snow and the shaking continued. It continued for a few more minutes. At this time, it felt like the world was ending. I could hear glass breaking, and wood falling on the road, I was scared. With my face on the cold ground, I could hear the hum of the earth, shaking. Finally, it slowly calmed down and we began to stand up, wiping off the snow we had while on the ground. “What the hell is that?”
“I think that was an earthquake. But, why”, I said, stuttering over my own words in confusion. It shook me up, literally and mentally. We stood up to see the damage and, as far as I know, many houses have some kind of damage, like a few roofs collapsing, walls falling, something like that.
“Well, looks to be a bad one”, Sam said, still perplexed but scared as I am.
“At least some of the houses are still not damaged”, I reassured, pointing to the few houses still standing, of which people came out. Some ran towards the damaged houses while others looked in confusion. A few more came out of the damaged ones, seemingly unharmed.
“Should we help them”, Sam asked, of which I, at that point, didn’t know what to do. A thought then went through my mind about my parents.
“I have to go back.”
“Back where?”
“To see if my parents are okay.” We said our goodbyes and I ran on the road. I saw a few police cars sitting beside houses, even fire trucks. The police and firemen are just as confused as everyone else. It seems the damage was widespread, but not as bad as I thought it would be. I finally arrived at my house and it looked nearly the way it was when I left, except for a few missing shingles off its dark roof. I wanted to go inside. What prevented me, at least at first, was the damage that might be inside. What if they are hurt? They’ll die if you do nothing. Those thoughts dreaded me throughout. I knew my Mom and Dad were in there, I knew I might get hurt. Do I wait for the firefighters to come or do I go in? I simply stood there, out in the cold. A final thought came in to make my decision: fine, I’ll do it anyway. Shouldn’t be too bad, is it?
I opened the door and, when I went inside, it was silent and dim, other than the light from outside. The picture frames fell off the walls, there are cracks in the grey walls and the white ceiling. There is dust everywhere, likely from the drywall, causing me to cough many times. I tried to look but it was dark. “Hello”, I hollered. I got a response.
“Hello”, the concerned but deep voice of my Dad responded. A blinding light came from the kitchen and shone on my face. “Kate? What are you doing here?”
“I am just worried you guys are hurt”, I remarked.
“Hurt? I nearly died”, Dad crowed sarcastically.
“We are okay. We are under the table”, my Mom said with reassurance.
“This is so cool”, Matt cheered. I thought oh, at least they’re alive. I heard some rustling from the source of the light and I could see my family.
“Are you okay”, Mom asked.
“No, I’m okay. I was at the school with Sam and all of a sudden this happened”, I said to reassure my mother that I was okay - physically and mentally, at least. I then heard sirens just behind me on the road. It’s the police.
“Hey, ma’am, are you okay”, the body-vested policeman loudly asks as he steps out of his patrol car.
“Yeah, I’m fine, my family is in the house”, I replied. The policeman ran towards me and stepped in front of me. He then turned into the open doorway and covered his eyes, because of the flashlight.
“Hey, is anyone there?”
“Yeah, we’re okay”, my Dad responded.
“Okay, this house is not safe to stay in. Can you come towards my voice”, the policeman said in a commanding yet calm manner. The light turned off and footsteps came slowly towards the door. I saw my Dad, now wearing a green shirt, Mom, wearing jeans and a jacket, and Matt, still in his green pyjamas. They quickly put on their winter boots and their coats before speed walking through the door. The policeman then took one last look with his flashlight in there. “Anyone else in there?”
“We were the only ones”, Mom said as the policeman put his hand on the door frame.
“Did any of you get hurt”, the policeman asked. They shook their heads.
“Well, maybe my opinion on this town. Maybe a documentary”, Dad joked, but no one seems to be into his jokes now. The firemen then arrived a few moments later and offered us blankets.
“Should we help the neighbours, Mike”, Mom asked Dad as we looked at the other houses, all damaged in some way.
“I guess. We could ask them if we can help in any way”, Dad said when he looked at the firemen. “I mean, we’ll be in their way.” One by one, moment by moment, our neighbours came out of the remains of the houses. Luckily, it seems everyone is okay, minus a few injuries. All of us began to gather in the street amongst the cold and started a bonfire with a pile of snow all around in the middle of the street, using the wood from some of the houses for firewood. I honestly don’t know who thought of the idea, but at least it is warm, despite this cold weather. Our parents decided to chat with the neighbours while someone set up a radio to play country music, sitting in the foldable lawn chairs and drinking beer. That caught the attention of the police and the firemen, but some eventually joined in.
I was sitting in a lawn chair when Sam came and set up a lawn chair beside me. “Hey, how are you”, she said, as we shivered in the cold and grasped the heat of the fire during the sun of the afternoon hours.
“I’m fine. The parents are fine. Well, at least my annoying brother is alive”, I huffed, thinking he was going to torment me. Sam looked at me with an expression of inquisitiveness. “What?”
“I mean, that’s what brothers are for. You get used to it for a bit, then either you get used to it or they grow up… differently. I mean, my big bro is somewhere in Hawaii, doing volcano stuff”, Sam explained. “What I’m saying is, they are necessary in life. You may not have fun with them, but they can save you one day.”
“Well, Matt isn’t saving me now”, I rebuked. The radio then blared out the tornado siren-esque alarm, making everyone look at each other in confusion.
“Well, just about time”, one man said. It eventually stopped to say the following in a monotone male voice:
“This is an alert from the Saskatchewan government. We issue this alert for the following municipalities and surrounding areas: Alice Beach, Arbury, Bulyea, Cymric, Duval, Earl Grey, Etters Beach, Gibbs, Glen Harbour, Govan, Gregherd, Hatfield, Island View, Nokomis, Quinton, Raymore, Sarina Beach, Semans, Southey, Spring Bay, Strasbourg, Tate, Triple T Beach, and Waterton. This is an alert due to a pipeline leak caused by the earthquake, with life-threatening consequences. Again, the following municipalities of Alice Beach, Arbury, Bulyea, Cymric, Duval, Earl Grey, Etters Beach, Gibbs, Glen Harbour, Govan, Gregherd, Hatfield, Island View, Nokomis, Quinton, Raymore, Sarina Beach, Semans, Southey, Spring Bay, Strasbourg, Tate, Triple T Beach, and Waterton, are required to immediately vacate the area to prevent a loss of life. Stay safe.”
“Is this a joke? A pipeline leak”, another person asked.
“A whole area for a broken pipeline”, another suggested. Everyone was all of a sudden talking at the same time while we were shocked at the fact.
“A pipeline? Leaking? Why such a large area for a leak”, Sam asked.
“I have no idea”, I said, confused as to the events happening. I saw some people arguing with the policemen, but I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying over the talking of the others. Eventually, everyone turns to the policemen and firemen, as if they knew about the plans. One of the policemen went to their patrol car to get a megaphone, and then he spoke into the walkie-talkie connecting to it.
“Hey, everyone calm down”, he bellowed and most gave their attention to him. “My name is Russel Simmons, and I am the chief of this department here. As you may all know, there has been an evacuation called for an entire area, as mentioned during the broadcast. t. I did not know this beforehand, just like every one of you. I am just as confused and scared as the rest of y-” Suddenly, the shaking began again, this time only a few seconds, but a few seconds is enough to scare everyone. “Stay calm! Everyone stay calm”, the chief begged the panicking people. Slowly but surely, everyone calmed down. “We can get through this. Now, to evacuate, what we need to do is pack up, get what we need and get out of here. Meet with us at the Tempo gas station to get fuel, if necessary. After that, we will go south to Regina, where we’ll be staying.”
“What about the stuff in our houses”, a woman asked.
“For that, we can’t go into the houses. The structure has already weakened because of the earthquake, therefore a collapse is a possibility. We cannot risk a life here, so we can’t”, Russel explained.
“My house looks fine, why can’t I go in”, an older man asked.
“Like I said, sir, the houses are at risk of collapsing.”
“What about the water? We can’t just leave it around in our houses. We need that”, a younger man said.
“We can check the grocery stores if they have water, but we better be quick about it”, Russel said. Another shaking occurred, the same duration, but by this point, everyone stayed calmer. Dad then met up with us.
“It is time to go”, Dad suggested. “We have to make it to Regina, as soon as possible.”
“Well, I guess it’s time to go”, Sam said. We then share a hug. “See you later… sometime.”
“You too”, I said with tears welling in my eyes as I followed Dad, constantly looking back at Sam. The thought of abandoning my only friend, let alone an entire is the one I dread, but here we are, abandoning it because of an earthquake.
“It’s going to be okay”, Dad reassured. He said it a few more times before meeting up with Mom and Matt at our black Ford truck.
“Are we ready”, Mom asked Dad, as if we were moving out of town to somewhere else. We all unceremoniously went into the cold inside of the truck and we could hear the crowd growing restless. Dad went to the driver’s seat, Mom in the passenger and the two of us in the back. Dad got the truck started and drove out of the spot. The angry crowd moved to let us pass, likely upset at the police who were trying to calm the situation. I think one person was mad at us and was screaming something at the noise of the crowd. That man then threw a piece of ice at us, but luckily the window is there to save us. Once we passed them, we sped off through the streets. Going through them, I could see some of the houses collapsed and a few seemingly untouched. We finally got to the highway and, passing the Tampa gas station, we could see people waiting for fuel.
“Should we stop for gas”, Mom asked.
“I don’t think so. We have a full tank of gas and there are too many people. With the situation we are in, things might be bad to worse”, Dad explained. “If we could stop in Bulyea, to pack more up.”
“When are we going home”, Matt complained.
“No, honey, there is no home left for us. Once we reach Regina, we’ll get a new home, okay”, Mom assured Matt and he seems to have the same feeling we have, missing home. At least we can agree on something for once. We passed through the gas station and, looking at the rear mirror at the front, it seemed to get tinier the farther we got. We sat in silence along the icy road with banks of snow. The inside of the truck got warmer and more comfortable. Luckily, there are fuzzy blankets in the truck to snuggle in.
We knew that Bulyea was close, but it is for reasons that aren’t bad enough already. Black, dense smoke in the distance, lofting to the east. We already knew something bad happened.
“Should we even go to Bulyea”, Mom asked. Dad looked at her and back in the road and gave a nod. “We can’t. Remember what you said back there? It is worse here-”
“I know. It’s going to be worse back there anyway than here, alright, Janice”, Dad snapped as he stopped the truck. This is the first time I have seen Dad this mad. I am starting to think he is just as afraid as us. “I’m sorry, I just missed home, but we had to get out.”
“I know, so do I”, Mom said and they shared a kiss. “Now, what?”
“Go to town and salvage what’s left.” Dad drove the truck and went into town. There, we noticed where the smoke came from. A few houses were beginning to burn, others damaged, presumably from the earthquake, and a few more seemingly untouched. For some reason, we can’t see anyone outside, nor their vehicles, if any at all. It seems to be like a ghost town.
“Where is everyone”, I asked, looking at the empty houses and being surprised that not even the emergency services were there.
“I don’t know. Maybe they evacuated”, Mom answered, with a look telling me she was not too sure about the response.
“Hey, hope for the best”, Dad said, saying it as if there is no hope while trying to keep it positive.
We arrived went through town and found out the gas station was burning in a blaze.
“So much for water”, Mom said, looking at the burning wreck. “Hey, how many kilometers did we travel?”
“Why is that important? Worried about gas”, Dad chuckled, in an attempt to cheer the mood. “I can chec- wait, how many kilometers does it take to get here?”
“Uh, fourteen”, Matt responded. My Dad looked at the dashboard in a confused state. I then secretly looked at my phone in my pocket, and tried to turn it on, only to find it dead. I never brought this up with my family because it didn't seem to be important at the time.
“Seems we travelled a kilometer but yet wasted half our fuel. I don’t know what is happening to the truck”, Dad said, further confused. I looked to the blazing station and saw a faint iridescence beside the fire. I was about to point it out when Matt spoke.
“Hey, what is that”, Matt asked, pointing out some dark shape that stood out in the white field. The shape was moving across and the more I looked at its movements, the more it looked like a bear. It then seemed to notice us and seemingly ran towards us.
“We are going now”, Dad yelled and put on the gas, driving off quickly. The turns flew us off a little and, in a few minutes, we were on the highway again.
“What was that”, I asked.
“I think that was a bear.”
“Why did we take off?”
“It was chasing us! Would you like to know what happens when we stay?” Dad then gave out a sigh. “I am sorry, but I had to make a choice.”
“I guess we won’t be staying”, Matt questioned.
“No, we won’t. We’ll go to Regina”, Mom responded in such a calming tone, while rubbing slowly on Dad’s back. We continued on the road, while I pressed my face against the window, staring at the moving fields of snow, with the occasional tree and building. I then slowly closed my eyes, bringing me to a world of darkness.
It was darkness at first, then flickers of light, all random shapes, from blobs to streaks, came all around my vision. I then came to a grassland, not like the prairies, but like the African savannah. Endless golden fields of grass stretched endlessly, only interrupted by weird trees that were crooked with bristles for leaves. The sun is setting in a brilliant series of yellows and oranges. I then heard rustling behind me. That is when I woke up, but not on my own.
“Hey, Kate, you need to see this”, Matt said in an odd confusion. I looked around and thought of nothing unusual.
“See wha-” I faltered as I looked ahead at the road. Ahead of the truck, the road is cut off by some kind of wall. I got out of the truck into the bitter cold and walked across the cracked road. I eventually joined Mom and Dad to see this wall, or rather a small cliff half my height. It seems someone cut the whole road and got the ground where I am to sink. I could even see what was below the road. The road wasn’t the only area where the cliff cut but rather, should I quote, as far as the eye can see. “What is this?”
“It might be some kind of fault line”, Dad said.
“Fault line? What is that”, Matt asked.
“You know, cracks in the ground that cause earthquakes? The one you learn in school about the San Andreas fault? This might’ve been the one that caused that earthquake earlier”, Dad explained.
“So a new fault line is appearing in Saskatchewan”, Mom said.
“Seems to be.”
“So, how are we going to get to Regina”, I asked. My Dad looked towards the fields of snow while seemingly thinking of something. It was a few minutes before we heard something odd. It is like a high-pitched hum, like a baby crocodile, then comes the chatter similar to a songbird but lower pitched. We all went to the truck, except Matt, who was more curious than afraid.
“Hey, I can see something”, Matt advised. Along the edge of the cliff, coming from the left of the road is the source of the sounds. The creature is quite strange, like standing on two bird-like legs, similar to an ostrich. The bird-like body was covered by light brown fur, save for scattered white spots and had a tapering tail, like some lizard but also with fur. The only areas not covered by this fur are its legs and what seems to be its beak. When it got closer, I came to make out its appearance. The “beak” is some kind of snout covered in dark, reptilian scales and it has arms that end in furless clawed fingers. I knew what it was, and it was frightening as it was confusing.
“Matt, come back. That is a dinosaur”, I yelled, hopefully persuading Matt of his curiosity. As soon as I said that, the creature stopped.
“Dinosaur? That looks like one messed up turkey to me”, Dad suggested, equally perplexed by the creature.
“Hey, Matt, come back! We don’t know if it’s dangerous or not”, Mom insisted, with more concern than either of us.
“But it’s not doing anything bad. It looks cool”, Matt said, not even concerned about this weird creature.
“Listen to your mother, Matt”, Dad hollered, in agreement with me and my Mom.
“Oh, come on, we could make him do some tricks.” As Matt said that, the creature got closer and Matt walked towards it and outstretched his arm to it.
“Matt! Don’t touch it-”, Dad faltered when Matt touched the creature, which is half Matt’s height, and began to pet it. The creature then began to purr, like a cat but more bird-like.
“See, not so dangerous. Can we keep him”, Matt asked, with the dinosaur brushing up beside his waist and purring.
“No, we can’t. We don’t know what it is”, Mom pleaded and I do agree.
“Oh, please, I promise I will take care of him. It’ll be the coolest pet ever.” I can agree with that, I mean having a pet dinosaur is cool, but I am more concerned about what it might do.
“I think it’s a bad idea”, I yelled to Matt.
“No, it won’t. Please”, Matt begged. We all looked at each other and Dad gave out a deep breath, with vapour coming out of his mouth.
“Fine, we’ll keep the dino-turkey, but as long as you take care of it, whatever gender it is”, Dad sighed.
“Yes! Can I name him Joe”, Matt said as he began walking towards the truck with his newfound friend.
“Joe? We don’t even know if it’s even a boy.”
“I don’t care. I want him to be a boy”, Matt protested.
“I guess Joe it is”, Mom said as she turned to Dad with a look of regret.
“I guess we have a family pet now”, I said under my breath to no one. We then went back to the truck and I sat in. Dad went to the driver’s seat as usual and Mom in the passenger. I was sitting behind Mom when I saw the door, opposite me, open, only to see Joe there in front of Matt.
“Hey, do you wanna meet my family”, Matt beamed when he picked him up. I can see Joe’s face more clearly. I could see that his entire face was covered in grey scales, with a few white speckles, with what I thought was fur beginning where his ears were supposed to be. Joe looked at me with a bird-like expression with his bird-like eyes. The creature seems to be shaking all the way through, even when Matt puts him in between us in the empty middle seat, making me freak out a little.
“Why are you putting it beside me”, I shuddered. “Did you make sure he doesn’t have rabies?”
“Don’t worry, he’s just cold”, Matt reassured. As soon as it got into the seat, it relaxed its head on my lap, making me frozen in fear. In surprise, Joe began to purr.
“What is he doing”, I asked.
“I think he likes you. You can pet him if you want. He’s harmless”, Matt assured. I then cautiously took my hand out and touched his brow area. It felt cold and reptilian, and I moved my hand towards his fur. I realised they were feathers, not quite like a bird, like fuzzier. I stroked across his spine and he was cold. Matt then covered the feathered creature’s body with a blanket.
“What should we do now”, Dad asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe take another route”, Mom responded. Dad then started the truck and turned it around.
“The rural roads would be hell. Maybe go to Earl Grey, and see if there is anything there.”
“Hopefully not like Bulyea.” Dad then looked at his rear-view mirror to look at Matt.
“Hey, do you know what, uh, Joe eats”, Dad asked.
“I don’t know”, Matt said, with a look like he doesn’t know.
“I mean, he has to eat something”, I said, now more comfortable with Joe. I lifted his lips to see a series of fangs lining his jaw. Joe didn’t take that too kindly and nudged. As he did that, he rolled to his side to reveal his hands. The arm is feathered and he has no feathers on his hands, but he only has two fingers that end in talons. “What, why does he only have two fingers”, I asked.
“Maybe a genetic defect. Like my cat Fluffy with his extra thumbs”, Mom suggested.
“Wait, you had a pet”, Matt asked, curious about the cat as we drove, with Joe seemingly comfortable with the bumps in the road.
“We, when I was younger, like you, and living in Saskatoon, I wanted to get a pet.” Mom explained as she looked at Joe. “Well, not quite like you have. Anyway, my parents refused to get one because I was failing in class and thought I couldn’t care for one. One day, I think a snowstorm was happening. I was walking down a street, fighting against the snow. I stumbled upon a box, covered in a blanket lying on the sidewalk. I looked inside and I saw kittens”, she said, her eyes glossy.
“Sadly, most of them died in the cold, except for one. An orange, fluffy kitten, fighting for its life. I took it, put it into my jacket and took it home. I entered our house and the kitten was fine, but my parents were furious. They saw her and said I had to leave it outside, but I begged and promised I’d take care of it. They said we could keep the kitten, as long I kept the grades up. So, I named him Fluffy, because he’s fluffy.”
“Where is he now? Why is he not here”, Matt questioned.
“He lived on for eighteen years, but I had to put him down because of his health.”
“Why didn’t you buy another cat”, I prodded.
“We just couldn’t afford it, we don’t have enough income. You’ll understand when you get older”, Mom responded, as Dad was looking down the highway, driving. I looked down and Joe was sleeping. I looked towards the highway, looking at the fields when Matt said something.
“I need to go to the bathroom”, he said, holding at his groin. I also need to go to relieve myself, but Matt called it first.
“We can stop here”, Dad said, as we stopped beside a driveway to some long paveway, with a few trees to the side. I recognized it through our trips to Regina: we have arrived at Gibbs. Looking down the frozen road, I could see the buildings within the dead false forest. I took this moment to speak my urge.
“Yeah, I need to go, too”, I declared. Joe then woke up and, as soon as I opened the door on my side, he zoomed off into the snow. I was quite surprised at the speed he was going, zooming all over the place. Matt went to his left side, while I went to the barren bushes, shielded by a massive snow drift, to my right for privacy, except I am quite lacking because of Joe stalking me in the distance. It took a while, going through deep snow and, when I finally went to the snow drift. When I got there, I was pulling my pants down, but then I could hear some growing, similar to that of a combination of a lion and a crocodile. Where is that coming from? Never mind, it might be Joe, I thought.
“Go away, Joe”, I said, thinking it was Joe, seemingly angry at something. Nervous, I finally got to business, a little slow because of Joe nearby. I then heard the growl again. This time, I looked up and saw Joe, but he wasn’t growling. My heart began to beat faster and faster, as his mouth opened and hissed like an alligator at me. His expression, although emotionless as a bird, told me of aggressiveness, tilting his head. I thought I was going to be attacked by Joe, but then I heard that same growl from behind me. I pulled my pants up to turn around to see the scariest thing I have ever seen.
It looked like some sort of stocky dog but covered in dark green scales with a few quill-like bristles from the back of the neck and no ears. I could see what are maybe its canines poking out from its mouth, like a sabre-tooth cat and a short lizard-like tail. It looked more reptile than, well, dog really except for its eyes. I could see the hunger in its eyes. I heard more growling to my other side and saw another of those things. Joe began making that baby crocodile noise and we ran to the truck. I turned around and ran.
“Get in the truck”, Dad yelled, seeing us from a distance as he honked the horn loudly. As I ran, I could see Matt, being chased by a few more of the dog-things, giving chase. Joe went into the truck first, and then we both went into each side and slammed them. Dad then sped off very quickly, scared they may get to us.
“What was that”, I panted, confused.
“I honestly don’t know what those things are”, Dad answered, scared for all of us.
“I want to go home”, Matt pleaded, tired from running away from those things.
“Don’t worry, we’ll be home soon. I promise”, Mom reassured.
“Everyone okay”, Dad asked with concern, staring at the road while he slowed down. We all looked at each other in fearful confusion, even Joe. I looked at Joe, and he then looked at me. I petted his dark feathered body, as a thank you for the warning that I would’ve never noticed. “Okay, we are moving on”, Dad concluded. We sat in silence, although I was still petting Joe.
“Hey, Matt, do you know what dinosaur he is”, I asked Matt.
“I don’t know. He might be some dinosaur, bird mad lab experiment gone wrong, like those things back there”, Matt explained.
“Or some mess-up chicken in a lab”, Dad suggested, still looking at the road.
“I don’t think he was a chicken”, Matt rebutted. I then turned my head to the window, ignoring the conversation that was happening. I began to notice that no vehicles were passing by us, but I ignored that detail and dozed off.
I saw those same lights in the dark vision of my closed eyes. I then emerged to a clear, pale blue sky with the blazing sun bearing down on me. Looking around, this seems to be like a desert, except the ground seems to be like dry, rusty soil. It feels hot here, hotter than one of those summers in my former town. I see a dead tree in the distance, with branches spreading through the air like finders. I heard a sound behind me.
“Wake up! We are here”, Matt said as he shook me awake. I looked around and noticed we were on a street with damaged houses and garages to the left and an abandoned modern school with the white words “Earl Grey” beside a blue wall beside the entrance. The school lies hiding behind a metal fence with dead trees behind it. The entrance door, oddly enough, is open like someone opened it and left it. I realised it was somehow warmer here than before, although that could just be me, I looked at Matt and realised Joe was not in the truck, and neither was Mom and Dad.
“Hey, where’s Mom and Dad”, I asked Matt.
“Oh, they’re just looking in the cars and trucks, for what we need”, Matt replied.
“And Joe?”
“Oh, just running across the road.” Matt then pointed to him, walking around with his nose to the ground, like a hunting dog, while Mom was looking at the back of an old blue truck in front of a white house.
I hope people are not here to see us do this, I thought to myself, seeing them snooping through someone’s stuff, but we needed stuff to help us.
“Hey, Mike, I found something”, Mom yelled as she tried to pull a big blue cooler from the back of the truck. Dad then came from an RV down from the truck and came and helped her. He then put it down on the road and opened it. They both plugged their noses and backed away.
“Fish? Who leaves fish in a cooler in the back of a truck”, Dad gagged. Joe then looked up, seemingly in excitement and ran towards the cooler. He stuck his nose in the cooler and pulled out a pike. He plopped it on the road, his foot stepped on the fish and put his mouth onto it, tearing a piece of it and swallowing it. “At least somebody likes rotten fish”, Dad rasped.
As we looked in surprise, we could hear something from the school. The minute we heard it, a loud boar-like roar came out from the school. We thought it was a very big boar when it came out, but the more we looked, the more we realised it was something else. Its body is like a boar, but its face is like a lion’s and the snout of a camel, with teeth somewhat like a bear’s when it opens its enormous mouth to gargle like a pig. Mom, Dad and even Joe are taken by surprise, making our parents run towards the driveway, while Joe towards our truck with his gorged fish, standing by us. The boar-thing then stopped a few feet away from my parents, seemingly in a defensive stance, hooves scratching the ground. We are scared for our parents, preparing to see this thing rip them to shreds.
It gave one last roar and walked towards the cooler, knocking it over with fish spilling out. It stuck its snout in the fish and swallowed one down. They then slowly walked around the creature and steadily fastened their pace until they were at the truck. We all quickly got in and Dad backed up quickly.
“What the hell was that”, Mom panicked.
“I don’t know, a pig from hell”, Dad responded. We looked at Joe, swallowing down the fish while the rotting fish smell remained. It looked at us in confusion, as we were. We silently laughed for no apparent reason, probably as a mechanism to try to replace the fear. We then heard a shaking in the truck, startling us. We realised that the hell pig was tearing at the bumper of the truck like a lion would. Dad hammered the horn, making the thing back up in surprise. Dad took this opportunity to back up very quickly towards the intersection and turned to the left, quickly avoiding the creature. We sat in silence, except for Joe who was chirping.
When we went down the street, the houses, as usual, were damaged but we saw other vehicles, the first we had seen. Some were parked along the street, others stuck on one lane like city traffic but paused. Weirdly enough, there are no people in the vehicles, nor anyone outside. Most of the vehicles have one or more doors open like people got out to go somewhere. We drove past all the vehicles in the other lane. There is one vehicle we passed by that is on fire, most of the paint already off to reveal the metal beneath, only to be turned into a rainbow of browns and blacks by the dancing flames.
“What. Happened. Here”, Mom slowly asked, as confused and terrified as us. We had a feeling of dread, seeing all the abandoned vehicles.
“That’s the least of our worries. We should be looking for supplies”, Dad responded.
“Hey, how much do we have”, Mom asked Dad, worried about using up the fuel.
“Well, we got a full tank of gas and travelled a hundred kilometers”, Dad responded, more confused. “Nothing makes sense here and I hope we don’t stay here for long”, he muttered.
Eventually, we passed most of the vehicles and reached the veterinary clinic. The small, intact structure stood there, seemingly looking over the icy driveway. We then spotted an old, brown truck and we saw something that set it apart from the rest of the vehicles we’ve seen so far.
“It’s on”, I said, gleefully, with hope that, at least, we aren’t the only ones here. The headlights beamed brightly, and we realised it was getting dark. We also noticed that the street lights aren’t turning on.
“I thought there was no one here”, my Mom said, unsure of the connection between the abandoned but running truck and the lack of people in this town. At one of the intact houses, ahead of us, partially blocked by the trees, we saw what seemed to be bright light coming from one of the windows. What person would go into a house after an earthquake, I thought, thinking about our house back home.
“Someone’s here”, Matt loudly notified, as we all shushed him and that is when Joe is trying to push the door with his snout. “What is he doing?”
“Stay here”, Dad calmly ordered, opening the door, but Joe scurried out and went somewhere else.
“Hey, come back”, Matt called out, with no success. Joe eventually disappeared into the night, never to be seen. Matt then had tears welling up in his eyes like he was about to cry. I hugged him to comfort him.
“He’ll come back some time”, Mom reassured, trying to calm him down and looking at Dad. Dad nodded and grabbed a flashlight that was equipped in the truck. He then walked slowly towards the house, step by step, being shone by our truck’s headlights. He looked back at us and put his hand up when the light in the house moved. It seems to move towards the front door of the house. Emerging from the house is a person walking down the steps, cloaked in darkness. Dad then took a few steps back as the figure came. Finally, the figure stepped into the light.

So yeah i have to start this like a story. Me (M20Bi) My Guy Friend (M19Bi) met in our city Sub like a half-week ago from today where i posted a post for one night hookup so many freaks dm me he was ine of them others where like be my bottom I'll fuck you then just tata bye bye. I honestly was not expecting my wife there but he was bit different he talked to me with like We're very alike so we talk sweet things that how we'll do our job like sexting so i found this guy intresting so i told him to message me on Instagram so he did its happened just after an hour i Posted on sub so yeah for like one day we talked about many things like our crushes why I'm interested in boys now (this is my lust only). So things turned ou great as we thought we're like eachother so we discussed where to meet but for some reason I'm out of my town I'll go there in after a month. So we discussed how it will be done then we talk about friendship i tbh don't have any best friend neither he do (as per he says) so i talked about how we'll get it done i mean sex we both are virgin so we want to make it special. I'm an infj so i have a problem of perfectionism. So i decided how I'll lose my virginity like a year ago but the plan was with girl but it's ok i admit that i don't have guts to talk to girl and approach her. So yeah back at story' i told him my plan, that was basic like we'll douch asses and bath togather and then blowjobs and then anal etc. So i don't know this plan was lengthy for him as his parents are very strict. So told me that we won't have that much time we have do this in like 10-02 morning - noon like really!! then we both agreed to my plan then eventually he block me 😥 from reddit and insta both i really felt pain like i questions myself that how can i be gay ? For just to take down my 10 min Lust how can i be Internet whore for these people. Then i decided to Never be gay again it wad like post nut clarity. Believe me i was rock hard. But the pain was that when we were talking i kinda feel connection between us was like friends like best friends !! So i was sad the. After two day i was checking regularly that he unblock ne or not but today he finnally unblock me and we talked about what happened so he apologized to me and said "i was feel like what am doing as men ?" So i didn't asked much about it. But i told him that we'll cancel my plan and do whatever he likes and i suggest him if he really wants this or not i don't want this if he don't but i just want him to be my friend. So he told me he wants this inbetween my and his plan. So yeah I'm doing (i mean sex with him) this. And i think this is actually very lengthy discription na ?
So yeah that's it so my main question is how to make him mine and be hus best friend ?
Tell me about what not to do in friendship And what to do in friendship with isfp.
(so yeah forgive me bro if i hurt you in any way ☺️ I'm glad we're friends now)

So I got a letter from IU Health yesterday that my regular doctor's last day was a week ago, which means I need to start trying to find someone new, which is a bummer as I liked that doctor and I was just about to schedule my yearly check up and get my Rx's refilled.
So asking for recommendations for a doctor that doesn't just say everything wrong with you is due to your weight? (I'm not arguing losing weight is good for you, it's a work in progress, but not everything is weight.) Preferably female and IU Health, just because all my records are in IU Health and I think it will be easier to continue with my meds, etc. but willing to hear about others if you have a good experience. I'm on the east side but previously went downtown for it, willing to travel a bit but preferably not on the west side or clear in Carmel/Fishers if possible.
I've got Anthem so most places should be in network.
Thank you!

I think I can decide as an adult female when I myself want to do something.
If I do not want to got to bed with you, because I am an insomniac, and because you are a chronic porn abuser, who while in recovery can be lying (as you’ve done to our therapist, and me many times in the past year), maybe I just do not care.
Have I STILL made you work lunch/snack bags, ran your bath water, left you sweet loving notes on the expo board?? Yes I have!! BUT if I’m not in bed when you want, up with our children who cannot sleep, or choose to sleep on the couch because of your actions (even if it’s just anger that I was not in your ‘martial’ bed with you), NONE of that matters. You have been ugly and almost physically abusive when I chose to sleep on the couch because of your actions against me.
I’ve told him over and over again this is HIS thing he holds over my head to make me some awful person, when he’s done all the lying, gaslighting, and manipulation you can think of. I’ve STILL stayed just for the kids and thinking this is not who he is, but my previous posts and comments will have you all tearing me down to leave, and I get it.
I do EVERYTHING for this man. I was even up tonight talking to a recruiter I was hoping was not an at home work scammer on Microsoft Teams, because his paycheck is eaten alive by how much he has to pay to his insurance to cover my MS, Clots in my right chest and kidney, etc. I’m the one causing the issue with all my stubborn bodily issues I cannot help, that almost killed me and still could. I’m disabled to a point, but lucky to be standing and not as bad as most MS patients at my younger-ish age.
I do it ALL for him and my kids. He doesn’t deserve it and they do. If I stay up a good chunk of the night making sure they are OK, I should have that right. He says, ‘I did not feel you going to bed when I usually do’. What??? If that’s the case then you are choosing to ignore me when you know I get in the bed. You cannot have it both ways, ‘Oh, I was sleeping too hard to know you were there to love on you.’
It’s all manipulation. I’m tired of doing all these nice wonderful things to just be hurt, told to shut up, and the ONLY thing that matters to him, even if I spend 20min rubbing his head until he falls asleep, is that I do not share the martial sleepy bed where we do not touch together anyway is the issue… WTf?! To me this is deflection. I’m done with this crap.
If this is the ONLY thing that upsets you, that you make a big deal about when I do literally everything else, you are an AH.

Hi Reddit,
I'm in need of some advice regarding my current marital situation and the potential sale of our home. To give you the full picture, I'll start from the beginning. Apologies for the length, but I feel all the details are necessary to understand the context.
I (29F) met my husband (40M) on Tinder four years ago. We dated for about eight months when my family had an opportunity to purchase a property. My then-boyfriend was also looking to be involved in a business deal of that sort, and he was interested in having his name on the property as well. My father supported this, seeing as how my boyfriend was a physician with a good income, and saw this as a way to bring him closer to our family. The opportunity came quickly, and we all signed the contract to purchase the house.
Trouble began shortly after this. My boyfriend requested that only he and I be on the title of the house, removing the rest of my family, as he saw a future with us and envisioned it as our potential family home. My father was very pleased to hear this and supported it, so we obliged. During this time, the property had increased in value, and I requested the other family members be paid off so we could buy out their shares. My boyfriend declined, feeling it was unfair.
To skim over some details, here are the highlights of the construction: My boyfriend paid more for the down payment than we initially realized would be required. Because of this, he paid no further construction costs. The construction proceeded with debt from my family until the construction loans came through. My family paid for the construction, and my father built the house for us without charging for his management services. My father was displeased with my boyfriend’s behavior and required him to pay more money for the construction due to inflation and the COVID shutdown. My boyfriend declined, and my mother and I secretly took out a line of credit to front the construction costs to my father, pretending it was from my boyfriend. Eventually, as we got the construction loans on a rolling basis after meeting construction milestones, my mother’s line of credit was paid off.
During this time, my family and I wondered why my boyfriend had not proposed. I decided that if he hadn't proposed by a certain time, I would leave him. Fortunately, he did propose on Valentine’s Day 2022. By spring of 2022, construction was coming to an end, and it was time for us to settle into the house. My fiancé felt uncomfortable with how much money he had put into the house and was worried I could leave him and make a profit. I promised him I wouldn’t leave him, but it wasn’t enough. He said he would believe me if I had a child with him, otherwise women would leave men if there were no ties. I told him I would have a child with him right when we got married. He suggested I come off birth control, as it takes months for a woman’s cycle to normalize after being on birth control for many years. I promised him I would come off birth control.
Coming off birth control was more stressful than I realized. I was very hormonal, breaking out, and felt unlike myself. This contributed to my fiancé and I fighting more than usual. In one particularly heated fight, I told him I would go back on birth control and even purchased the pills, but he told me he would break up with me if I did because he wanted to get to know the real me. I conceded, and then something switched in me and I became excited at the possibility of having a baby. I started tracking my cycle and figuring out my ovulation days. I shared this with my fiancé, and on one of those days, we got pregnant. I didn’t find out until the end of summer 2022. When I did find out, I told my fiancé and suggested we should probably get married.
My fiancé's first response was that we should wait to see if the baby sticks, and if it does, then we can plan a marriage but he wanted to wait until February 2023. I was very disappointed and angry and yelled at him. I felt alone and overwhelmed by the thought of having an illegitimate child. After discussing potentially getting an abortion, potentially breaking up, and potentially selling the house, I talked my fiancé into keeping the baby and getting married. He also wanted to keep the baby but was afraid of our situation. After many fights about when to have the wedding, we finally decided on December 2022. At that point, I was four months pregnant. During this time, my fiancé and I had major arguments that therapy couldn’t even remedy. We would yell at each other, slam doors, I would cry, and he would hold himself up in a room for hours. We had nice moments too, but they were heavily clouded over by the bad.
Finally, we got married, and things were good for a while. But then we faced some marital problems. My husband kept separate accounts and managed the finances himself. We had a joint credit card where I could pay for expenses without being questioned. He made all of the major investment decisions and major purchases. If I tried to disagree or speak up, he would get upset because this was not the submissive wife I had promised him I would be. I made significantly less money than him but lived a good lifestyle, buying almost anything I wanted within reason. Coming from a traditional family, I was upset that finances were kept separate. And so it continued that my husband would invest tens of thousands of dollars into our house so that his family from out of town would visit. We live in Vancouver, Canada, but his family is from Ottawa. In hopes of luring his youngest sister (of four) to Vancouver, my husband would make any modification to the house that his youngest sister showed the slightest interest in. This included a hot tub on the rooftop, a media system in the basement, a movie projector, and much more. After said sister got married, she made it clear that she would not move to Vancouver. Then a switch happened in my husband, and he suddenly wanted to sell the house.
Meanwhile, during all this time, I had my baby, and my husband and I were still fighting more than ever. I felt no support from him, and he felt drained by his work, our fights, and being away from his family. Recently, for the past three months, he has been consistently pushing for the sale of our house. This is where my dilemma lies. I am afraid to sell this house because my husband has kept finances separate, and the mortgage on this house has been serving as a way for me to feel secure. My husband contributes a monthly amount on a regular basis. He could have forced a sale in the past but didn’t, instead paying into the monthly mortgage on top of other bills. Now, he is considering forcing the sale of our house, but I am upset that he is citing financing as the issue when I have been begging him to save money instead of spending (his response is that $200,000 does not affect a $2M mortgage, and that he now feels burnt out and wants to retire sooner and live passively). If I agree to sell, I feel unstable about moving from our home given that my husband and I fight so frequently, and I am left alone to take care of the child. It is also worth noting that my parents live right across the street and come over frequently to help with the child, or I would go over to seek their help. My husband says that he feels abandoned and uncomfortable frequently because of our proximity to my parents, but I am because there have been times when I felt truly alone, and my parents were my only solace and support. My husband would ignore me for days, especially when I was postpartum and vulnerable. My parents now see my husband as someone who doesn’t put his wife and child first. My husband says that the massive mortgage we have is too stressful for him, and he can’t take that burden. I am sad that my husband will not consider keeping this house for another three years so that I can get comfortable with the idea of selling the house and that potentially I and my family can all move to Ottawa so that we can allow my husband to be closer to his family.
I don’t know what to do at this point, Reddit. I’m currently on extended maternity leave, but it ends in six months. My husband and I will have to come to an agreement about the house, otherwise, it is likely that he will force the sale of the house even if I’m not ready to move. I’ve consistently felt rushed and overlooked in this relationship. I am tired of being the small voice that does not impact decision-making. My husband is now being nice to me and trying to show me a good time, but I see it as him turning on his charming mode so that I can say yes to the sale of this house. I’m not sure what to do. Our fights and disagreements are so bad and the marriage feels like doom sometimes (never any physical violence). I sometimes questions even staying with him, but I worry for my daughter. He is a good father to her, when he is present and off his phone.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR:
I need advice. I met my husband four years ago, and we bought a house together with my family's help. Financial disputes caused issues. Despite getting married and having a baby, we fight often. My husband handles our finances separately, spent a lot on the house, but now wants to sell it. I feel insecure about selling because the mortgage is like an investment to me, and also I rely on my parents, who live nearby, for help with our child. My husband feels stressed by the mortgage and feels homesick for his family 3000km away. I feel overlooked in decision-making and am unsure whether to agree to the sale, or to stand my ground and not sell. Sometimes I question staying in the marriage for my daughter’s sake, or if I should give up on this unhappy marriage.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. Discovering that a partner has cheated, especially with someone close to you like a sibling, can be extremely painful and complex. Here are some steps to consider as you navigate this difficult situation:

1. Process Your Emotions

• Acknowledge Your Feelings: It's normal to feel a mix of emotions, including anger, betrayal, sadness, and confusion. Allow yourself to feel and express these emotions in a healthy way.
• Seek Support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist who can offer emotional support and help you process your feelings.

2. Communicate with Your Partner

• Calm Approach: When you feel ready, have a calm and honest conversation with your boyfriend about what happened. Ask questions to understand the situation if you feel it will help.
• Express Yourself: Clearly communicate how his actions have affected you and what you need to feel safe and respected moving forward.

3. Consider Your Relationship

• Evaluate Trust: Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship. Consider whether you can rebuild trust with your boyfriend after this betrayal.
• Relationship Goals: Reflect on your long-term goals and whether your relationship aligns with them. Think about whether you see a future with someone who has broken your trust.

4. Address Your Relationship with Your Sister

• Talk to Your Sister: Have a conversation with your sister about what happened. This will likely be difficult, but it's important to understand her perspective and express your feelings.
• Boundaries: Consider setting boundaries to protect yourself while you work through your feelings and decide how to move forward with your sibling relationship.

5. Take Care of Yourself

• Self-Care: Engage in activities that help you relax and feel good about yourself. This might include exercise, hobbies, or spending time with supportive people.
• Therapy: A therapist can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and develop coping strategies.

6. Make a Decision

• Reflect on What You Want: Take your time to decide what you want to do about your relationship. There is no rush, and it's important to make a decision that feels right for you.
• Consider Forgiveness and Reconciliation: If you choose to stay with your boyfriend, consider what steps are necessary for forgiveness and rebuilding trust. This might include couples therapy.

7. Plan for the Future

• Set Clear Expectations: If you decide to stay in the relationship, set clear expectations and boundaries to prevent future issues.
• Moving Forward: Whether you decide to stay together or not, focus on your own growth and well-being.

Remember, there is no right or wrong way to handle this situation—what matters most is that you take care of yourself and make decisions that are best for your emotional health and future happiness.I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. Discovering that a partner has cheated, especially with someone close to you like a sibling, can be extremely painful and complex. Here are some steps to consider as you navigate this difficult situation:

1. Process Your Emotions Acknowledge Your Feelings: It's normal to feel a mix of emotions, including anger, betrayal, sadness, and confusion. Allow yourself to feel and express these emotions in a healthy way. Seek Support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist who can offer emotional support and help you process your feelings.
2. Communicate with Your Partner Calm Approach: When you feel ready, have a calm and honest conversation with your boyfriend about what happened. Ask questions to understand the situation if you feel it will help. Express Yourself: Clearly communicate how his actions have affected you and what you need to feel safe and respected moving forward.
3. Consider Your Relationship Evaluate Trust: Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship. Consider whether you can rebuild trust with your boyfriend after this betrayal. Relationship Goals: Reflect on your long-term goals and whether your relationship aligns with them. Think about whether you see a future with someone who has broken your trust.
4. Address Your Relationship with Your Sister Talk to Your Sister: Have a conversation with your sister about what happened. This will likely be difficult, but it's important to understand her perspective and express your feelings. Boundaries: Consider setting boundaries to protect yourself while you work through your feelings and decide how to move forward with your sibling relationship.
5. Take Care of Yourself Self-Care: Engage in activities that help you relax and feel good about yourself. This might include exercise, hobbies, or spending time with supportive people. Therapy: A therapist can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and develop coping strategies.
6. Make a Decision Reflect on What You Want: Take your time to decide what you want to do about your relationship. There is no rush, and it's important to make a decision that feels right for you. Consider Forgiveness and Reconciliation: If you choose to stay with your boyfriend, consider what steps are necessary for forgiveness and rebuilding trust. This might include couples therapy.
7. Plan for the Future Set Clear Expectations: If you decide to stay in the relationship, set clear expectations and boundaries to prevent future issues. Moving Forward: Whether you decide to stay together or not, focus on your own growth and well-being.

Remember, there is no right or wrong way to handle this situation—what matters most is that you take care of yourself and make decisions that are best for your emotional health and future happiness.

I know it was your first relationship. At 28, you had already been through so much, having been on your own for 13 years. You were forced to grow up too fast, and had to prioritize yourself, building a life from nothing. I get it. It was your fierce independence that made me fall for you in the first place.
I always knew that trying to build a life with you was going to be a struggle. I thought it would be worth it, for both of us. You deserve to have someone in your corner, that always has your back. You shouldn’t have to be alone. I don’t know if you believed the same.
I think I gave up too much of myself for you. Was that my mistake or yours? Did you really ask for too much, or did I give too freely without expectation for anything in return? Maybe both. Probably more on me. I’m not perfect by a long shot.
Compromise. It really does all come down to that. I tried to show you its importance, but in the process I ended up being the only one willing to do it. Me getting to pick what movie we watched or getting to plan a date became something I only got to do on special occasions. You said you felt like you didn’t know me, but so many times in so many ways I offered up little pieces of me to you. I share myself by sharing the things I love with the people I love. But more and more towards the end, all you’d say was “no”. Ignoring any context. Ignoring those pieces of me.
I know you don’t like movies about kids. I know asking to watch Home Alone during Christmas was a big ask. But it was a tradition that I shared with my dad, who I lost just over a year before. I know you think that traditions are pointless, but it was important to me. My earliest memories are of that. I needed to continue on, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it alone. I needed you there, your support. It was such a small gesture I was asking of you, but all I got was “no”. Instead we watched a movie you picked: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. A movie made by the exact same people that made Home Alone, and with even more kids.
We wanted to go to Ireland. Personally I’ve been wanting to go for years, but couldn’t because of my dad’s illness along with everything else going on. You knew that in the last 3 years I lost all of my grandparents, two uncles, my dad. I couldn’t risk going so far away for so long while everyone was sick. My mom saw me giving up the latter half of my 20s for my family, when she was hoping I would be enjoying life and seeing the world. That’s why she was happy to give us the money to have the trip of our dreams. I explained all of this to you while you were struggling to find a way to save for the trip. All my mom wanted in return was a single nice photo of us. That wasn’t even a requirement for the money. She just wanted to see me with the person that I love making our dreams come true. I know you hate having your picture taken. The only attention your dad ever gave you was when he wanted to test a new camera. It’s a trauma trigger. But I was only asking for one picture. You’d compromise for your friends, you’d compromise for your sister. You’d take pictures with them. Why wouldn’t you compromise for your partner, and the other most important person in your partners life? After a year, we have 3 pictures together, none of which are very good. I know that I was asking for a lot, but I felt so less important than everyone else in your life. Maybe you felt that as your partner, I was to be held to a higher standard? I honestly don’t know. All you said was “no”.
You admitted yourself I was so supportive. I always prioritized you. From always making your tea before mine, to giving you the better looking plate at dinner, to planting all of your favorite flowers in my garden. I always complemented you, how smart you are, how beautiful you are, how driven and independent you are. Your friend needed a ride to a 5k and someone to cheer them on? I was there. You needed someone to drive you around while your car was in the shop for 2 months? No problem. Accidentally overdrew your account again, and you couldn’t afford the late fees? Here’s $50. Need to move on short notice? I’m the guy tearing apart and moving your furniture. You have a migraine so bad you can’t eat? I’m bringing you pedialyte and sleeping on your couch, even though I didn’t actually get any sleep. I learned all your rituals so not to trigger your OCD. There are countless other examples. I never said no. I never complained. You rarely said so much as “thank you”.
The big one. The thing that ended us. You’re right, we did sit down like adults time and time again and talked things out. You said you needed me to anticipate your needs. You’d get overwhelmed, and couldn’t articulate what you needed from me. You couldn’t stand being asked what you needed. You just needed me to start helping. “Mental loads” and all that. I took that to heart. But I’m not perfect. Sometimes I’d miss the mark. Tried to support you, but in the wrong way. Even in my failures I showed effort, but you never seemed to see that. You only focused on how I failed.
We recognized that this was a problem caused by both of us. The communication wasn’t getting through. But I had already adapted to your communication style as much as I could. My exited, rambling, almost impulsive way of generating ideas became slow, methodical, thoughtful. I put intention behind everything so not to overwhelm you. I learned not to jump at the obvious solution.
Yes, we sat down like adults and talked things over time and time again. You told me what you needed from me, but I also told you what I needed from you. If I was missing the mark, please just guide me to what you needed. I’m not a mind reader. I did it for you all the time. You were honestly awful at anticipating my needs too. If I was venting, had a bad day, all you’d say was “I’m sorry”, and pat me on the back like a puppy. No effort to dig deeper. No words of support or encouragement. So I had to show you how I needed support. I just needed you to do the same for me. “No”. Again.
One final time, I sent you words of support when you were having a bad day. It wasn’t enough, you wanted more. A phone call? For me to come over so you could vent in person? Did you actually want me to directly help for once? I don’t know. You never told me. Instead of guiding me to what you needed, you immediately shut down. Full silent treatment. I’ve been in abusive relationships where the silent treatment was welded as a weapon. I know you didn’t mean it in an abusive way, you were just overwhelmed again. But I never expected it from you. I didn’t see it for what it was. I only ever asked one thing from you to save us. I put in the work, got us 80% of the way there. I knew I couldn’t bridge the gap on my own. I wasn’t even asking you to put in effort on my behalf, it was for your benefit. I begged you time and time again for help. To communicate. Not to put it all on me, because I couldn’t do it on my own. But instead, you did the opposite.
You said that you felt like you were putting more effort into the relationship than I was. I’m sorry, but I can’t see that effort. I’m trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I can’t. Maybe you mean you put effort into forgiving me every time I messed up? Maybe you mean that you were always planning dates, always picking what we watched, where we went, what we ate, what we drank? Again, mental loads and such. But I had things that I wanted to do and share with you that you always turned down. You only had to plan everything after my plans were rejected. It would have been more efficient for you to show love, patience, and compromise.
And then you left.

For background context: My best friend of 5 years who I trusted everything with has been dating a guy for 3 years. It’s her second serious relationship and she sees herself marrying him and also he’s the only guy who has been able to satisfy her sexually. He’s a bum who has “a wife” but apparently his “wife is psychotic” so they have to hide their relationship.
We had a party, I got super drunk and so did he. I went to go pee and after I wash my hands and shut the lights of the bathroom to leave… I open the door and her boyfriend IS RIGHT in front of me. He then continues to lead me back into the DARK bathroom. Then proceeds to lock the door. And grope me and put his hands under my shirt touching my back. Saying how he always thought I was so hot. But with my personality when I get uncomfortable I always try to make it light. I then tell him “uhh let’s go back to everyone in the living room I want to drink” but he doesn’t stop. So I just say well I want to go drink and leave. And never speak of it ever again. I wake up the next morning remembering everything… he texts me at 7am and asks me to call him when I wake up and the FIRST thing he says is “what do you remember about last night” I lie and say I blacked out just seeing if he admits to what he did. He says he doesn’t remember anything.. and I don’t know why I didn’t call him out on it and to this day I regret not calling him out.
Fast forward 6 months later, I distance myself from him and my best friend bc I KNOW that my friend wouldn’t believe me I just knew how in love she was. I just took myself out of the picture. Unfortunately a mutual friend of ours gets drunk and tells my best friend the reason I’ve been distancing myself. And she finds out.
To put this story to a close — She didn’t believe me. She thinks I came on to him and thinks that “if he really groped me I would have yelled or screamed” but the fact that I “let it happen” is why it doesn’t make sense to her. The moment she told me “there’s no way he would come on to you because we have an amazing sex life” and proceeded to tell me that moving forward SHE wouldn’t feel comfortable if her boyfriend and I were alone together” … I lost all hope for our friendship.
In that exact moment I knew where she stood and I decided to walk away from that friendship. She’s upset that I didn’t want to hash it out. But there’s nothing to hash out. She’s in love with him and that’s that.
Also Two of my sober friends were witnesses to him pushing himself into the bathroom I was in but she still didn’t believe.
Anyways if you made it this far thank you for listening. This actually happened two years ago. I’m in a lot better head space now. The reason I wanted to share my story is one just for the release but the other is because I recently saw a Reddit post where a woman talked about getting sexually assaulted on a train and she froze and it took her a moment to process what happened and she regrets not reacting.. and it just made me feel like I wasn’t alone in how I reacted. I was reading other peoples replies and they also said that it’s normal to freeze up and be confused when that happens. And just by reading comments I felt this overwhelming support idk it’s weird to even describe like wow so it’s not just me idk so I just wanted to say my peace.

I apologize this will be a long post:
Well everyone let me just say my Mother is a text book narcissist. Diagnosed. I held on to our relationship because of my younger brothers. I wanted my family to be happy. I lied to myself and held on to the good I saw; even though I know it’s all an act and manipulation for control and her own fucked up toxic validation. I made excuses because she herself had an incredibly fucked up childhood. She also has been diagnosed and takes medication.
The amount of physical pain, abuse and mental anguish my Mother has caused my family is unreal. The pathological lying is unremarkable. She will have a melt down the second you unveil her scheme or correct her. Her MO is she is always “dying” or “sick”. Constantly seeking attention and validation. She is a master at jamming wedges in between people as well as making everyone look like the “bad guy”.
She is a queen at manipulating. Recently she finally was flagged by the State as a drug seeker. She doctor shops to get pills and had many prescriptions for pain pills. The 30 years prior she was a raging alcoholic. Ever since they cut her pills she has began to spiral. Worse than I have ever seen. I knew something was coming.
My Father just died, on my birthday, a few weeks ago. Of course she was no where to be seen and completely unhelpful. The one day she came, when my Father was actively dying, and said in her best actress “oh poor me” voice. “Oh I also had some MRIs this week. Been going to my Doctor and said to him to do everything he can. I don’t want my daughter to have to lose both her parents”. She has Fibromyalgia. She kept talking about her sickness and doctors while my Dad lay there. Actually dying.
Lastly, my Brother and Father hadn’t talked in 6 years. He and I also are not on good terms so of course I tried to go through her. I kept begging her to bring my brother to see my Father. Begged her to have him call me so I could put the phone on speaker. I wanted so desperately for my Brother to talk to him. My Brother wanted to talk to the doctor before coming to visit. He did not believe my Mother that my Dad was actually dying. Understandable, she is a liar.
I gave the hospital his number and asked to have him added as someone the doctor can speak with. All of us were added to a healthcare proxy file. I gave the doctor his number and asked him to call my Brother. The doctor went and spoke with my Father and my Father said “No” when asked if the doctor could call. It was out of my hands and devastated me. It broke in to many pieces. I wanted my Brother there. My Mother refused to bring him (he is disabled and cannot drive).
The day before my Father passed I texted my Mother and she knew my brother was added and I gave the doctor his number. The morning my Father died I again asked her to bring my brother she replied “Your Dad said no, so”. The day after my Father died I received the most horrible texts from my brother. My Mother lied and said that I never told her he had permission to call or see my Dad. She never told my brother he could call or even tried to get him to go in person.
This was my snapping point. Of all the abuse and times she made everything about her. The fights at holidays or special events. The drama and the lies this is by far the absolute worst thing she could ever have done. My father is now dead and my brother will never have closure. She would rather this so she can play the hero to my brother and the victim because me her “horrible daughter” has treated her “badly”.
I know she is a raging narcissist. I know how she is and what she does everytime. Always makes things about her but when my Father was dying?! After he died?! I knew the time would come when I couldn’t take it any more but this. THIS?!
I finally told her off. I finally called her everything she is. I know it doesn’t matter because a narcissist is never wrong and she will lie to everyone until the day she dies. Unlike my Father I will not be there. May she die alone and miserable. May her karma bring her nothing but suffering.
I never thought she could break my heart enough to the point that I finally feel nothing. The years I spent crying so hard and all the trauma she has burned into my soul. I can’t take it any more. I am truly heartbroken.
I fucking hate her. Finally. I feel nothing any more. The small ounces of hope. The love for the woman I want her to be. I can no longer deny and make excuses. I am done and I am not going back.
Thank you for listening if you made it this far.
I’m just so unbelievably sad.

Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language. It’s a long story (get your popcorn ready)
So my(33f) whole life I have a very sensitive skin. It’s mostly painful but manageable for me to do manicure and pedicure, I don’t go to cosmetologist as I have a high risk of getting an allergy or redness. However, I like to dye my hair and I have been to numerous hairdressers as well as done it myself for about 15 years
Three years ago I had severe health problems which caused me to lose half of my hair (among other symptoms) and at one point I almost died. At that time I stopped dyeing my hair and chopped it off due to bad quality. 2,5 years later I’ve been feeling good, my hair grew out and I decided it’s time to make my 2 dreams come true: to donate my hair so they can make a wig for cancer patients and to dye the bob that will be after the haircut bright pink
I’ve spent a lot of time to find a hairdresser that would fit me. The one that chopped my hair didn’t work with bright colors and actually chopped off 10cm more than I asked. I was sad but ok as it went for charity
After a few month I finally found the one that had pretty good works and the price was good enough
When I came to the appointment It felt weird, I think we didn’t clicked, but were pretty respectful towards each other. I told her right away that I have sensitive skin and she seemed ok with that
Although I didn’t like that she didn’t ask for my permission to take photos or videos for her social media, and I was just told that she will take them after she finishes her work. I swallowed it as I always supportive of hairdressers, makeup artists etc. I loved her work on me and was absolutely happy, but during the filming she was irritated that I’m posing not like she wanted although I never got the instructions
A few days later she posted an IG reel with me and she put a filter on my face for a preview picture. Mind you, I almost haven’t recognized myself. She never asked me if I’m ok with that. I was livid but once again swallowed it because it’s so hard to find a good hairdresser where I live
During the next appointment she held her blowing dryer too close to my head that it felt like it burned a hole in my head. I politely asked to hold it a bit further and she reacted normally, and tried to do so. Sometimes she pulled my hair too much and I made some quiet noises as I can’t control my reaction
During the third appointment she fucked up with bleaching my roots and I got a light strip 1 cm wide. At first it wasn’t noticeable due to the lighting and I saw it the next day and sent her a message right away. She never apologized and tried to make it seem like it was my fault, but eventually said to come to her salon to fix it (for free ofc). Her fixing didn’t help that time and the next one. So I had to walk like that for 2 months. She never acknowledged her fault, and newer apologized. Okay, things happen, I understand. I swallowed my frustration once again
Now to the main problem. I’ve been at her salon for 5-6 times and after at least the last three of them I’ve noticed that she washed my had very bad leaving A LOT of dye. This caused a very painful itching after only 2-3 hours after the appointment was finished and the last time this itching continued for two weeks. Okay, she has only 3-4 years of experience, I get it, mistakes happen. I thought that I would talk to her about this and it will be better
Yesterday was my last appointment. I addressed my concerns in a very polite manner, she tried to break my speech answering that it’s the dye that is so strong or the bleach causes the irritation and she is not sure it can be fixable. I told her that I have years of experience and never had this problem before. I’m just asking her to wash my head more thoroughly. She agreed to try
Well, the issue seemed resolved, she have bleached my roots and the part she fucked up before, washed my hair and started to blow drying it before dyeing. During the blow drying part I felt that she holds the blow dryer too close to my head again (mind you, when it’s just hot I remain silent, I say something only when I can’t bear the pain), I again asked her very politely to hold it a bit further
In response she started to raise her voice (not screaming) telling me how it irritates her that I have sensitive skin and I always say that it’s too hot, to painful or that I have allergic reaction. She said it’s uncomfortable for her to work like this with me and this is the last time [she allows me to say things like that]. She said that next time things will be different
I was shocked and said that I didn’t choose to have sensitive skin or get an allergic reaction. What should I have to do? To shut up when I’m in unbearable pain or have an allergy?
She responded only that she is uncomfortable with me and her other clients never have this problem
I said okay and sat completely silent and shocked knowing I will never be back as it was the last nail in the coffin
She dyed my hair, washed it again (surprisingly, she did it the exact way I asked for) and dried it. During drying she once again held the blow dryer so close to my head that I had to tilt in other direction from her in absolute pain and put my cold fingers on that place for a half a minute. She just remained silent looking more irritated and started to hold the blow dryer too far like on purpose
After she finished I paid for the service, came back home and blocked her. I never want to see her again or interact with her
Now, to my question: my husband said that blocking her was an overreaction, and I could just unfollowed her (she didn’t follow me). He didn’t say that in any rude way or so, just his opinion. I didn’t think I overreacted, but maybe I did? Idk, what do you think? Am I wrong in my reaction?

Locksmith services
Your home is your sanctuary, and you want to keep it safe and secure. One of the most important aspects of home security is having a reliable locksmith who can handle your lock and key needs. But how do you find the best locksmith for your home? Here are 10 essential tips to guide you through the process.

1. Check Licensing and Certification The first thing you should do is verify that the locksmith you’re considering is licensed and certified. This means they have the proper training and qualifications to perform the job professionally and legally. You can check their credentials online or ask them to show you proof of their license and certification.
2. Look for Experience and Reputation Experience matters when it comes to locksmiths. You want a locksmith who has a solid track record and extensive experience in dealing with various lock and key issues. You can check their website, social media, or online reviews to see how long they have been in business and what their customers say about them.
3. Read Customer Reviews and Testimonials One of the best ways to find a trustworthy locksmith is to read customer reviews and testimonials online. These are real experiences from previous clients who can give you valuable insights into the locksmith’s reliability, efficiency, and customer service. You can also ask for references from friends, family, or neighbours who have used locksmith services before.
4. Make Sure They Are Insured Another important factor to consider is whether the locksmith is insured. This protects you from any potential liability in case of accidental damage or injury during the course of the job. You should ask the locksmith to show you proof of their insurance policy and coverage.
5. Find Out What Services They Offer Different locksmiths offer different services. You should find out what services the locksmith you’re considering offers and whether they can handle the specific needs of your home. For example, some locksmiths specialise in re-keying, lock installation, or emergency lockout situations, while others may offer additional services such as security systems, smart locks, or safes.
6. Ask About Their Response Time Emergencies can happen at any time, and you need a locksmith who can respond quickly and efficiently. You should ask the locksmith about their response time, especially if you anticipate needing their services in urgent situations. You should also find out if they offer 24/7 service and if they charge extra for after-hours or weekend calls.
7. Get Written Estimates Before hiring a locksmith, you should get written estimates for the services you require. This not only helps you understand the cost but also ensures transparency and avoids potential misunderstandings or hidden fees. You should compare the estimates from different locksmiths and choose the one that offers the best value for your money.
8. Check Warranties and Guarantees A reputable locksmith should provide warranties or guarantees for their work and the products they use. This reflects their confidence in the quality of their services and gives you peace of mind in case of any issues or defects. You should ask the locksmith about the terms and conditions of their warranties and guarantees and how they handle claims or complaints.
9. Communicate Effectively Effective communication is key to a successful locksmith service. You should choose a locksmith who can clearly explain the issues and proposed solutions, ensuring you are informed and satisfied every step of the way. You should also feel comfortable asking questions or expressing concerns to the locksmith and expect them to respond promptly and respectfully.
10. Choose a Local Locksmith Finally, you should choose a local locksmith who is familiar with your area and can reach you quickly and easily. A local locksmith is more likely to have a good reputation in your community and offer personalised and friendly service. You can also support your local businesses and economy by choosing a local locksmith.

Additional Tips:

• Choose a locksmith who is familiar with the type of locks you have.
• Make sure the locksmith has the tools and equipment necessary to do the job.
• Ask the locksmith about their experience with emergency lockouts.
• Get everything in writing, including the estimate and the warranty.

By following these 10 essential tips, you can choose the best locksmith for your home with confidence. Remember, finding the right professional now can make a big difference in the security and well-being of your home in the long run.

Hi, sorry if my English is not good. I've been talking to this guy for 2 months, everything was going well, we see each other 1-2 times a week. He's not in school and he doesn’t have a job and I study physics (pre med) but we always manage to find time for each other. He's stood me up several times, but in the end, everything went fine. Two weeks ago, we slept together, and this week we met again even though he almost stood me up again. Everything went well, but he told me he was going to Normandy this weekend with his friend, his friend's girlfriend, and another male friend. He hasn't responded since Sunday. I see from his stories that it's just him, his friend, and two girls. I'm not jealous, but I would have liked to know. I've been sending him messages and calling, but he doesn't respond even though everything was going well before. He also told me that we should be faithful, that for him, it's something not to be overlooked, even when we're just flirting.
Last night, I went to the hospital (endometriosis). He saw that I went to the hospital in my private story and that I called him several times, but he still hasn't responded.
I saw this morning that he reposted videos of Madelyn Cline, even though I'm literally the opposite of her and the girl from the trip looks like her (blonde small face etc) And my guy friend has a fake female account he uses to make money, and he subscribed to him last night to see if he would follow back the account, and he did in the same hour than when I was at the hospital calling him. Even if something happened, even if he doesn't want me anymore, I just want a response from him. He's never acted like this in 2 months, never. He never sleeps without sending me a good night or just saying hello, even when we're mad. I don't understand his behavior. Help me, it's the first time I've liked a guy.

The following topics Cannot be made as their own posts, but are allowed topics in the Daily Discussion thread:
​

• Questions about what to do for training.
• Questions about what event to do.
• Questions about what you could do at another event or do in the future.
• Questions about if you could make it in college track.
• Asking if you're good for your age/grade.
• Asking if you should do track. People are just going to say yes, anyways.
• Food/Nutrition questions.
• Injury related questions.
• Questions about how to run a specific race.

Within this daily thread, you can talk about anything track related. If you ask a basic training question, you'll most likely be met with the response of "Read the FAQ", so here is the link to the FAQ post: [FAQs](https://old.reddit.com/trackandfield/comments/mlv33q/faq_central_sprinting_faq_distance_faq_how_to/)
​
This switch is to make /trackandfield fit for everyone. You can talk about your own specific track related stuff in the daily thread, and more general Track & Field stuff goes in the rest of the subreddit.

Reddit audience, have your say /10 for Gi and Nogi:
Designs, Quality, Fit/Sizing, Customer service/experience, Delivery
I've personally used all three brands and have decent experience with their products. For Nogi, I think Progress has nice designs. However, Scramble has the better fit for Nogi.
NoGi:
Progress' Academy range (which is the most comfortable fit imo) is the same as Scramble's standard range. Though in my opinion, I think Scramble could take advantage of graphic designs better, as their brand image definitely fits that vibe. The recent Burning Tiger and Snake sets were definitely a step in the right direction. Tatami's Nogi sets are very very slick. They fit the body well and also have nice non-graphic designs too, which seem Ace.
Gi:
In terms of quality, Tatami leads in every single way. I've had minimal shrinkage with Tatami Gis over time and they've also kept their colour. In terms of durability, Tatami is outstanding. Design-wise, I wish they would step away from samurai and Japanese themes for abit and try something new, exciting and modern. This is where Progress excels. Their designs are modern and refreshing (most importantly, theme-based, so the customer is drawn in alot, especially when combined with their marketing). Scramble also has slick minimalistic Gi designs, though it would also be great to see Scramble step into more creative designs too. Fitting-wise, Scramble and Progress have practically the same fit and are slick and loose after shrinkage. Disadvantage? The shrinkage itself, especially with the 100% cotton Gis.
It seems like here in the UK (and worldwide), there's a massive community of people who like following specific Jits brands and look good whilst rolling. I'm curious to know what everyone else's experiences have been with these three brands.
Thoughts?

abandon, ability, able, about, above, absence, absolute, absolutely, abstract, abundance, academy, accent, accept, access, accident, accompany, accomplish, according, account, accurate, achieve, achievement, acid, acknowledge, acquire, across, action, active, activity, actor, actual, actually, adapt, addition, additional, address, adequate, adjust, administration, admire, admission, admit, adolescent, adopt, adult, advance, advantage, adventure, advertise, advice, advise, adviser, advocate, affair, affect, afford, afraid, after, afternoon, again, against, age, agency, agenda, agent, aggressive, ago, agree, agreement, agriculture, ahead, aid, aim, air, aircraft, airline, airport, alarm, album, alcohol, alive, all, alliance, allow, ally, almost, alone, along, already, also, alter, alternative, although, always, amateur, amazing, ambition, ambulance, among, amount, analysis, analyst, analyze, ancient, and, anger, angle, angry, animal, anniversary, announce, annual, another, answer, anticipate, anxiety, any, anybody, anymore, anyone, anything, anyway, anywhere, apart, apartment, apologize, apparent, apparently, appeal, appear, appearance, apple, application, apply, appoint, appointment, appreciate, approach, appropriate, approval, approve, approximately, architect, area, argue, argument, arise, arm, armed, army, around, arrange, arrangement, arrest, arrival, arrive, art, article, artist, artistic, as, ashamed, aside, ask, asleep, aspect, assault, assert, assess, assessment, asset, assign, assignment, assist, assistance, assistant, associate, association, assume, assumption, assure, at, athlete, athletic, atmosphere, attach, attack, attempt, attend, attention, attitude, attorney, attract, attraction, attractive, attribute, audience, author, authority, auto, available, average, avoid, award, aware, awareness, away, awful, baby, back, background, bad, badly, bag, balance, ball, ban, band, bank, bar, barely, barrel, barrier, base, baseball, basic, basically, basis, basket, basketball, bath, bathroom, battery, battle, be, beach, bear, beat, beautiful, beauty, because, become, bed, bedroom, bee, beef, beer, before, begin, beginning, behavior, behind, being, belief, believe, bell, belong, below, belt, bench, bend, beneath, benefit, beside, besides, best, bet, better, between, beyond, bicycle, big, bike, bill, billion, bind, biological, bird, birth, birthday, bit, bite, black, blade, blame, blanket, blind, block, blood, blow, blue, board, boat, body, bomb, bombing, bond, bone, book, boom, boot, border, boring, born, borrow, boss, both, bother, bottle, bottom, boundary, bowl, box, boy, boyfriend, brain, branch, brand, brave, bread, break, breakfast, breast, breath, breathe, brick, bridge, brief, briefly, bright, brilliant, bring, broad, broken, brother, brown, brush, buck, budget, build, building, bullet, bunch, burden, burn, bury, bus, business, busy, but, butter, button, buy, buyer, by, cabin, cabinet, cable, cake, calculate, call, camera, camp, campaign, campus, can, Canadian, cancer, candidate, cap, capability, capable, capacity, capital, captain, capture, car, carbon, card, care, career, careful, carefully, carrier, carry, case, cash, cast, cat, catch, category, Catholic, cause, ceiling, celebrate, celebration, celebrity, cell, center, central, century, CEO, ceremony, certain, certainly, chain, chair, chairman, challenge, chamber, champion, championship, chance, change, changing, channel, chapter, character, characteristic, characterize, charge, charity, chart, chase, cheap, check, cheek, cheese, chef, chemical, chest, chicken, chief, child, childhood, Chinese, chip, chocolate, choice, cholesterol, choose, Christian, Christmas, church, cigarette, circle, circumstance, cite, citizen, city, civil, civilian, claim, class, classic, classroom, clean, clear, clearly, client, climate, climb, clinic, clinical, clock, close, closely, closer, clothes, clothing, cloud, club, clue, cluster, coach, coal, coalition, coast, coat, code, coffee, cognitive, cold, collapse, colleague, collect, collection, collective, college, colonial, color, column, combination, combine, come, comedy, comfort, comfortable, command, commander, comment, commercial, commission, commit, commitment, committee, common, communicate, communication, community, company, compare, comparison, compete, competition, competitive, competitor, complain, complaint, complete, completely, complex, complexity, compliance, complicate, complicated, component, compose, composition, comprehensive, computer, concentrate, concentration, concept, concern, concerned, concert, conclude, conclusion, concrete, condition, conduct, conference, confidence, confident, confirm, conflict, confront, confusion, Congress, congressional, connect, connection, consciousness, consensus, consequence, conservative, consider, considerable, consideration, consist, consistent, constant, constantly, constitute, constitutional, construct, construction, consultant, consume, consumer, consumption, contact, contain, container, contemporary, content, contest, context, continue, continued, contract, contrast, contribute, contribution, control, controversial, controversy, convention, conventional, conversation, convert, conviction, convince, cook, cookie, cooking, cool, cooperation, cop, cope, copy, core, corn, corner, corporate, corporation, correct, correspondent, cost, cotton, couch, could, council, count, counter, country, county, couple, courage, course, court, cousin, cover, coverage, cow, crack, craft, crash, crazy, cream, create, creation, creative, creature, credit, crew, crime, criminal, crisis, criteria, critic, critical, criticism, criticize, crop, cross, crowd, crucial, cry, cultural, culture, cup, curious, current, currently, curriculum, custom, customer, cut, cycle, dad, daily, damage, dance, danger, dangerous, dare, dark, darkness, data, database, date, daughter, day, dead, deal, dealer, dear, death, debate, debt, decade, decide, decision, deck, declare, decline, decrease, deep, deeply, deer, defeat, defend, defendant, defense, defensive, deficit, define, definitely, definition, degree, delay, deliver, delivery, demand, democracy, Democratic, Democrat, demonstrate, demonstration, deny, department, depend, dependent, depending, depict, depression, depth, deputy, derive, describe, description, desert, deserve, design, designer, desire, desk, desperate, despite, destroy, destruction, detail, detailed, detect, detection, detective, determine, develop, developing, development, device, devil, dialogue, diet, differ, difference, different, differently, difficult, difficulty, dig, digital, dimension, dining, dinner, direct, direction, directly, director, dirt, disability, disagree, disappear, disaster, discipline, disclose, discover, discovery, discrimination, discuss, discussion, disease, dish, dismiss, disorder, display, dispute, distance, distinct, distinction, distinguish, distribute, distribution, district, diverse, diversity, divide, division, divorce, DNA, do, doctor, document, dog, domestic, dominant, dominate, door, double, doubt, down, downtown, dozen, draft, drag, drama, dramatic, dramatically, draw, drawer, drawing, dream, dress, drink, drive, driver, drop, drug, dry, due, during, dust, duty, dwell, dying, dynamic, each, eager, ear, earlier, early, earn, earnings, earth, earthquake, ease, easily, east, eastern, easy, eat, economic, economy, edge, edit, edition, editor, educate, education, educational, educator, effect, effective, effectively, efficiency, efficient, effort, egg, eight, either, elderly, elect, election, electric, electrical, electricity, electronic, element, elementary, eliminate, elite, else, elsewhere, e-mail, embrace, emerge, emergency, emission, emotion, emotional, emphasis, emphasize, employ, employee, employer, employment, empty, enable, encounter, encourage, end, enemy, energy, enforcement, engage, engine, engineer, engineering, English, enhance, enjoy, enormous, enough, ensure, enter, enterprise, entertain, entertainment, entire, entirely, entrance, entry, environment, environmental, episode, equal, equally, equipment, equivalent, era, error, escape, especially, essay, essential, essentially, establish, establishment, estate, estimate, etc, ethics, ethnic, European, evaluate, evaluation, evening, event, eventually, ever, every, everybody, everyday, everyone, everything, everywhere, evidence, evolution, evolve, exact, exactly, exam, examination, examine, example, exceed, excellent, except, exception, exchange, exciting, executive, exercise, exhibit, exhibition, exist, existence, existing, expand, expansion, expect, expectation, expense, expensive, experience, experiment, expert, explain, explanation, explode, explore, explosion, expose, exposure, express, expression, extend, extension, extensive, extent, external, extra, extraordinary, extreme, extremely, eye, fabric, face, facility, fact, factor, factory, faculty, fade, fail, failure, fair, fairly, faith, fall, false, familiar, family, famous, fan, fantasy, far, farm, farmer, fashion, fast, fat, fate, father, fault, favor, favorite, fear, feature, federal, fee, feed, feel, feeling, fellow, female, fence, festival, few, fewer, fiber, fiction, field, fifteen, fifth, fifty, fight, fighter, fighting, figure, file, fill, film, final, finally, finance, financial, find, finding, fine, finger, finish, fire, firm, first, fish, fishing, fit, fitness, five, fix, flag, flame, flat, flavor, flee, flesh, flight, float, floor, flow, flower, fly, focus, folk, follow, following, food, foot, football, for, force, foreign, forest, forever, forget, form, formal, formation, former, formula, forth, fortune, forward, found, foundation, founder, four, fourth, frame, framework, free, freedom, freeze, French, frequency, frequent, frequently, fresh, friend, friendly, friendship, from, front, fruit, frustration, fuel, fulfill, full, fully, fun, function, fund, fundamental, funding, funeral, funny, furniture, furthermore, future, gain, galaxy, gallery, game, gang, gap, garage, garden, garlic, gas, gate, gather, gay, gaze, gear, gender, gene, general, generally, generate, generation, genetic, gentleman, gently, German, gesture, get, ghost, giant, gift, gifted, girl, girlfriend, give, given, glad, glance, glass, global, glove, go, goal, God, gold, golden, golf, good, govern, government, governor, grab, grace, grade, gradually, graduate, grain, grand, grandmother, grant, grass, grave, gray, great, green, grocery, ground, group, grow, growing, growth, guarantee, guard, guess, guest, guide, guideline, guilty, gun, guy, habit, habitat, hair, half, hall, hand, handful, handle, hang, happen, happy, harbor, hard, hardly, hat, hate, have, he, head, headline, headquarters, health, healthy, hear, hearing, heart, heat, heaven, heavily, heavy, heel, height, helicopter, hell, hello, help, helpful, hence, her, herb, here, heritage, hero, herself, hey, hi, hide, high, highlight, highly, highway, hill, him, himself, hip, hire, his, historic, historical, history, hit, hold, hole, holiday, holy, home, homeless, honest, honey, honor, hope, horizon, horror, horse, hospital, host, hot, hotel, hour, house, household, housing, how, however, huge, human, humor, hundred, hungry, hunter, hunting, hurt, husband, hypothesis, ice, idea, ideal, identification, identify, identity, ignore, ill, illegal, illness, illustrate, image, imagination, imagine, immediate, immediately, immigrant, immigration, impact, implement, implication, imply, importance, important, impose, impossible, impress, impression, impressive, improve, improvement, incentive, incident, include, including, income, incorporate, increase, increased, increasingly, incredible, indeed, independence, independent, index, indicate, indication, individual, industrial, industry, infant, infection, inflation, influence, inform, information, ingredient, initial, initially, initiative, injury, inner, innocent, inquiry, inside, insight, insist, inspire, install, instance, instead, institute, institution, institutional, instruction, instructor, instrument, insurance, intellectual, intelligence, intend, intense, intensity, intention, interaction, interest, interested, interesting, internal, international, Internet, interpret, interpretation, intervention, interview, introduce, introduction, invasion, invest, investigation, investigator, investment, investor, invite, involve, involved, involvement, Iraqi, Irish, iron, Islamic, island, Israeli, issue, it, Italian, item, its, itself, jacket, jail, Japanese, jet, Jew, Jewish, job, join, joint, joke, journal, journalist, journey, joy, judge, judgment, juice, jump, junior, jury, just, justice, justify, keep, key, kick, kid, kill, killer, killing, kind, king, kiss, kitchen, knee, knife, knock, know, knowledge, lab, label, labor, laboratory, lack, lady, lake, land, landscape, language, lap, large, largely, last, late, later, Latin, latter, laugh, launch, law, lawsuit, lawyer, lay, layer, lead, leader, leadership, leading, leaf, league, lean, learn, learning, least, leather, leave, left, leg, legacy, legal, legend, legislation, legislative, legislator, legitimate, lemon, length, less, lesson, let, letter, level, liberal, library, license, lie, life, lifestyle, lifetime, lift, light, like, likely, limit, limitation, limited, line, link, lip, list, listen, literary, literature, little, live, living, load, loan, local, locate, location, lock, long, long-term, look, loose, lose, loss, lost, lot, lots, loud, love, lovely, lover, low, lower, luck, lucky, lunch, luxury, machine, mad, magazine, mail, main, mainly, maintain, maintenance, major, majority, make, maker, makeup, male, mall, man, manage, management, manager, manner, manufacturer, manufacturing, many, map, margin, mark, market, marketing, marriage, married, marry, mask, mass, massive, master, match, material, math, matter, may, maybe, mayor, me, meal, mean, meaning, meanwhile, measure, measurement, meat, mechanism, media, medical, medication, medicine, medium, meet, meeting, member, membership, memory, mental, mention, menu, mere, merely, mess, message, metal, meter, method, Mexican, middle, might, military, milk, million, mind, mine, minister, minor, minority, minute, miracle, mirror, miss, missile, mission, mistake, mix, mixture, mm-hmm, mode, model, moderate, modern, modest, mom, moment, money, monitor, month, mood, moon, moral, more, moreover, morning, mortgage, most, mostly, mother, motion, motivation, motor, mountain, mouse, mouth, move, movement, movie, Mr, Mrs, Ms, much, multiple, murder, muscle, museum, music, musical, musician, Muslim, must, mutual, my, myself, mystery, myth, naked, name, narrative, narrow, nation, national, native, natural, naturally, nature, near, nearby, nearly, necessarily, necessary, neck, need, negative, negotiate, negotiation, neighbor, neighborhood, neither, nerve, nervous, net, network, never, nevertheless, new, newly, news, newspaper, next, nice, night, nine, no, nobody, nod, noise, nomination, nominee, none, nonetheless, nor, normal, normally, north, northern, nose, not, note, nothing, notice, notion, novel, now, nowhere, nuclear, number, numerous, nurse, nut, object, objective, obligation, observation, observe, observer, obtain, obvious, obviously, occasion, occasionally, occupation, occupy, occur, ocean, odd, odds, of, off, offense, offensive, offer, office, officer, official, often, oh, oil, okay, old, Olympic, on, once, one, ongoing, onion, online, only, onto, open, opening, operate, operating, operation, operator, opinion, opponent, opportunity, oppose, opposed, opposite, opposition, option, or, orange, order, ordinary, organic, organization, organize, orientation, origin, original, originally, other, others, otherwise, ought, our, ours, ourselves, out, outcome, outside, oven, over, overall, overcome, overlook, owe, own, owner, pace, pack, package, page, pain, painful, paint, painter, painting, pair, pale, Palestinian, palm, pan, panel, panic, pant, paper, paragraph, parent, park, parking, part, participant, participate, participation, particle, particular, particularly, partly, partner, partnership, party, pass, passage, passenger, passion, past, patch, path, patient, pattern, pause, pay, payment, PC, peace, peak, peer, pen, penalty, people, pepper, per, perceive, percentage, perception, perfect, perfectly, perform, performance, perhaps, period, permanent, permission, permit, person, personal, personality, personally, personnel, perspective, persuade, pet, phase, phenomenon, philosophy, phone, photo, photographer, phrase, physical, physically, physician, piano, pick, picture, pie, piece, pile, pilot, pine, pink, pipe, pitch, place, plan, plane, planet, planning, plant, plastic, plate, platform, play, player, please, pleasure, plenty, plot, plus, PM, pocket, poem, poet, poetry, point, police, policy, political, politically, politician, politics, poll, pollution, pool, poor, pop, popular, population, porch, port, portion, portrait, portray, pose, position, positive, possess, possession, possibility, possible, possibly, post, pot, potato, potential, potentially, pound, pour, poverty, powder, power, powerful, practical, practice, prayer, preach, precisely, predict, prediction, prefer, preference, pregnancy, pregnant, preparation, prepare, prescription, presence, present, presentation, preserve, president, presidential, press, pressure, pretend, pretty, prevent, previous, previously, price, pride, priest, primarily, primary, prime, principal, principle, print, prior, priority, prison, prisoner, privacy, private, probably, problem, procedure, proceed, process, processing, processor, proclaim, produce, producer, product, production, profession, professional, professor, profile, profit, program, progress, progressive, project, prominent, promise, promote, prompt, proof, proper, properly, property, proportion, proposal, propose, prosecutor, prospect, protect, protection, protein, protest, proud, prove, provide, provider, province, provision, psychological, psychology, public, publication, publicity, publish, publisher, pull, punishment, purchase, pure, purpose, pursue, push, put, qualify, quality, quarter, quarterback, quarterly, queen, quest, question, quick, quickly, quiet, quietly, quit, quite, quote, race, racial, radiation, radical, radio, rail, rain, raise, range, rank, rapid, rapidly, rare, rarely, rate, rather, rating, ratio, raw, reach, react, reaction, reader, reading, ready, real, reality, realize, really, reason, reasonable, recall, receive, recent, recently, reception, recipe, recipient, recognition, recognize, recommend, recommendation, record, recording, recover, recovery, recruit, red, reduce, reduction, refer, reference, reflect, reflection, reform, refugee, refuse, regard, regarding, regardless, regime, region, regional, register, regular, regularly, regulate, regulation, regulator, reinforce, reject, relate, relation, relationship, relative, relatively, relax, release, relevant, relief, religion, religious, rely, remain, remaining, remarkable, remember, remind, remote, remove, repeat, repeatedly, replace, replacement, reply, report, reporter, represent, representation, representative, Republican, reputation, request, require, requirement, research, researcher, resemble, reservation, resident, residential, resign, resist, resistance, resolution, resolve, resort, resource, respect, respond, response, responsibility, responsible, rest, restaurant, restore, restriction, result, retain, retire, retirement, return, reveal, revenue, review, revolution, rhythm, rice, rich, rid, ride, rifle, right, ring, rise, risk, river, road, rock, role, roll, romantic, roof, room, root, rope, rose, rough, roughly, round, route, routine, row, rub, rubber, rude, ruin, rule, run, running, rural, rush, Russian, sacred, sad, safe, safety, sake, salad, salary, sale, sales, salt, same, sample, sanction, sand, satellite, satisfaction, satisfied, satisfy, sauce, save, saving, say, scale, scandal, scare, scatter, scenario, scene, schedule, scheme, scholar, scholarship, school, science, scientific, scientist, scope, score, scream, screen, script, sea, search, season, seat, second, secondary, secret, secretary, section, sector, secure, security, see, seed, seek, seem, segment, seize, select, selection, self, sell, Senate, senator, send, senior, sense, sensitive, sentence, separate, sequence, series, serious, seriously, servant, serve, service, session, set, setting, settle, settlement, seven, several, severe, sex, sexual, shade, shadow, shake, shall, shallow, shape, share, sharp, she, sheet, shelf, shell, shelter, shift, shine, ship, shirt, shock, shoe, shoot, shooting, shop, shopping, short, shortly, shot, should, shoulder, shout, show, shower, shrug, shut, shy, sibling, sick, side, sigh, sight, sign, signal, significant, significantly, silence, silent, silver, similar, similarly, simple, simply, sin, since, sing, singer, single, sink, sir, sister, sit, site, situation, six, size, ski, skill, skin, skirt, sky, slave, sleep, slice, slide, slight, slightly, slip, slow, slowly, small, smart, smell, smile, smoke, smooth, snap, snow, so, so-called, soccer, social, society, soft, software, soil, solar, soldier, sole, solid, solution, solve, some, somebody, somehow, someone, something, sometimes, somewhat, somewhere, son, song, soon, sophisticated, sorry, sort, soul, sound, soup, source, south, southern, Soviet, space, Spanish, speak, speaker, special, specialist, species, specific, specifically, specify, speech, speed, spend, spending, spin, spirit, spiritual, split, spoil, sponsor, sport, spot, spray, spread, spring, square, squeeze, stability, stable, staff, stage, stain, stair, stake, stand, standard, standing, star, stare, start, state, statement, station, statistical, status, stay, steady, steal, steel, steep, stem, step, stick, still, stimulate, stimulus, stir, stock, stomach, stone, stop, storage, store, storm, story, straight, strange, stranger, strategic, strategy, stream, street, strength, strengthen, stress, stretch, strike, string, strip, stroke, strong, strongly, structural, structure, struggle, student, studio, study, stuff, stupid, style, subject, submit, subsequent, substance, substantial, substitute, succeed, success, successful, successfully, such, sudden, suddenly, sue, suffer, sufficient, sugar, suggest, suggestion, suicide, suit, summer, summit, sun, super, supply, support, supporter, suppose, supposed, Supreme, sure, surely, surface, surgery, surprise, surprised, surprising, surprisingly, surround, survey, survival, survive, survivor, suspect, sustain, swear, sweep, sweet, swim, swing, switch, symbol, symptom, system, table, tactic, tail, take, tale, talent, talk, tall, tank, tap, tape, target, task, taste, tax, taxi, tea, teach, teacher, teaching, team, tear, technical, technique, technology, teen, teenager, telephone, telescope, television, tell, temperature, temporary, ten, tend, tendency, tennis, tension, tent, term, terms, terrible, territory, terror, terrorist, test, testimony, testing, text, than, thank, thanks, that, the, theater, their, them, theme, themselves, then, theory, therapy, there, therefore, these, they, thick, thin, thing, think, thinking, third, thirty, this, those, though, thought, thousand, threat, threaten, three, throat, through, throughout, throw, thus, ticket, tie, tight, time, tiny, tip, tire, tissue, title, to, tobacco, today, toe, together, toilet, token, tolerate, tomato, tomorrow, tone, tongue, tonight, too, tool, tooth, top, topic, toss, total, totally, touch, tough, tour, tourist, tournament, toward, towards, tower, town, toy, trace, track, trade, tradition, traditional, traffic, tragedy, trail, train, training, transfer, transform, transformation, transition, translate, translation, transmission, transmit, transport, transportation, travel, treat, treatment, treaty, tree, tremendous, trend, trial, tribe, trick, trip, troop, trouble, truck, true, truly, trust, truth, try, tube, tunnel, turn, TV, twelve, twenty, twice, twin, two, type, typical, typically, ugly, ultimate, ultimately, unable, uncle, undergo, understand, understanding, unfortunately, uniform, union, unique, unit, United, universal, universe, university, unknown, unless, unlike, until, unusual, up, upon, upper, urban, urge, us, use, used, useful, user, usual, usually, utility, utilize, vacation, valley, valuable, value, variable, variation, variety, various, vary, vast, vegetable, vehicle, venture, version, versus, very, vessel, veteran, via, victim, victory, video, view, viewer, village, violate, violation, violence, violent, virtually, virtue, virus, visibility, visible, vision, visit, visitor, visual, vital, voice, volume, voluntary, volunteer, vote, voter, voting, wage, wait, wake, walk, wall, wander, want, war, warm, warn, warning, wash, waste, watch, water, wave, way, we, weak, weakness, wealth, wealthy, weapon, wear, weather, web, website, wedding, week, weekend, weekly, weigh, weight, welcome, welfare, well, west, western, wet, what, whatever, wheel, when, whenever, where, whereas, whether, which, while, whisper, white, who, whole, whom, whose, why, wide, widely, widespread, wife, wild, wildlife, will, willing, win, wind, window, wine, wing, winner, winter, wipe, wire, wisdom, wise, wish, with, withdraw, within, without, witness, woman, wonder, wonderful, wood, wooden, word, work, worker, working, workout, workplace, works, workshop, world, worried, worry, worth, would, wound, wrap, write, writer, writing, wrong, yard, yeah, year, yell, yellow, yes, yesterday, yet, yield, you, young, your, yours, yourself, youth, zone.

Hi,
So yesterday i saw completely new therapist which seemed very professional and person who takes every situation seriously and with right attitude. She even gave me mental exercises/homework to do.
BUT still i feel no matter how hard i try and want to get better i always end up situation all is lost and dissapearing from this planet is only right choice. I feel bad that the Therapist expects me to work together with him, but everything is going to end up being that i have to say in therapy that none of the exercises or your help have helped. In the end, I realize that the last hope is spent and I end up committing suicide. Sorry for saying this but this is real concern. Also in the end other meds and clomipramine where i am now are just to reduce anxiety and so on. My mom said to me yesterday before i end myself i must use therapy card to see if it helps. I just think no matter how hard i try in therapy it dont help.
Honestly this is horrible how easily my life was totally ruined and fucked up. These days i have suicifal thoughts everyday and i dont know what to do. For now they are just thoughts. As many of you know last year summer i started brintellix second time in my life. BUT i made huge mistake. So last year summer i started and used Brintellix for two days and then stopped for 6 days because i was unsure will i really want to start it. After 6 days i returned to Brintellix. After i was returned to brintellix i started to feel temporary emotional bluntness for few weeks and head started to feel heavier but that emotional bluntness was worst. So to this day missing those 6 days only after two day use and temporary emotional bluntness had had devastating impact for my mental health. I also missed 2-3 days later two times but they are not so big deal. BUT every day is worrying from morning to evening has missing 6 days of it only after two day use and experiencing temporary emotional bluntness changed my personality or brains permanently. I have suicidal thoughts daily because of my situation. I have TOTALLY losted my will and interest to live. My life doesnt matter anything to myself anymore. Also i feel my short term memory is awful/fucked up after brintellix. What comes to personality my empathy ability has not still returned.
In 2022 i used Brintellix for 5 months without missing doses and it worked like a dream. That has been last time when i was full of life. But now after i missed doses for 6 days only after 2 day use i noticed brintellix started to be totally ineffective. Actually i noticed benefit already during first 1-2 days. Today i have also thinked Brintellix is also so new medication there is no knowledge or experiences yet how Brintellix can damage or change people personality or brains if doses are missed. I am so angry to myself why i just didnt continued it after two days or why i didnt missed 1-2 days max instead of 6 days. Im so lost i dont know why i am alive anymore😭 Without missing doses all would be so much better at least what comes to my mental health. I also fear like that how brintellix works by modulating receptors and how it affects multiple receptors are dangerous thing if doses are missed for too many days at the beginning