Hi everybody, just found this sub today! I ordered a few starter packs and as many boosters as it takes for me to feel like I made an honest effort at winning her back. I'll definitely be sharing my pulls when they get here.
Meanwhile, I've launched a community discord server and twitter page. My goal is just to help concentrate people who want to connect over our love for DD and or Graeme (I don't see why we can't have a channel where the latest Graeme videos are shared) and if we're truly lucky, maybe we can play a few games of Divorced Dads together over video calls hosted and observable from within the server itself. I'm guessing the game in its current state is very much simple enough that this is more practical than trying to do the same with, say, MTG, and there certainly are people who do that. Plus, the need is high, because it's hard to find local players - for now!
I don't expect to win her back overnight, but it would be cool to hang out with some other guys so we could all be less lonely. My therapist says I should have friends, but I don't think she really gets me. Maybe one of you guys can.
Here's a durable invite link for the Discord: https://discord.gg/aFdUjW3jGF
And here's the twitter page I set up: https://twitter.com/DivorcedDadsTCG
I'd also love to befriend whoever the heck is running this sub, and anyone else who's interested in doing any community building around Divorced Dads. I'm not gonna run a social media account on every platform, but if others want to tackle their platforms of choice, by all means let's get in touch and work together. I have a lot of experience with community building in these respects and would love to connect with others who want to contribute.

A good friend passed away sudden a few days ago. I was sad and upset he passed cuz we had some plans he was really looking forward to coming up He was a awsome man and spoke highly of me to others. I would always here this from people he would talk to at work but he also sold drugs on the side. Every one knew this but his kindness and personality was so good no one held it against him he knew all kinds of people from low life’s to highly respected and successful kinds. Very unique character Big and mean if needed to be but gentle and had your back if u didn’t cross him kind of guy that demanded respect and got it. Kind of the reason I liked him so much he took a high liking to me from the start threw work. Anyway 2 days after passing I was alone and grieving him. I made a small memorial in his name and said some things out loud to him I told him he was a better friend to me than I was to him.i sometimes would not answer his msgs for a few days not intentionally just busy but somthing he would probably not do The next day I woke up feeling very cold towards him for no reason. It’s not cuz he died on me. I know that’s a normal process but it’s not the case here. He was really hard on his body and it doesn’t surprise me he passed I could not understand why I had this feeling after I spoke to him out loud that night and not before. So I start thinking well the day he passed I could not post public on his wall but others could. I thought was strange but figured there was some logical reason. Like when we first met maybe he had it set that way and forgot to change it later or maybe it’s some how in my setting even tho I spent a while trying to address it. Maybe it was by mistake. Then I remember 8 years ago I had a thought he may had been contacted from my gf at the time ex now.. but she was using drugs and was hiding it from me but she also kinda knew him. And I had warned her previous dealer not to sell to her anymore and I found out she was still using I didn’t ask cuz I didn’t think she would take the chance to ask him thinking he would tell on her to me but who knows it is possible. Maybe even other things occurred I can’t see it but drugs and vindictive girls r very powerful things. I really hope this is not the case but there is definitely something him or another loved one in the after life is trying to tell me. Maybe a warning from my dad. I do believe highly in communication cuz I have in the past successfully and it runs in my family. Bit his celebration of life is coming up and I need to find answers. Thank u

TL;DR Did anyone else with a late life diagnosis feel bombarded by revisiting past memories with a new lens?
Last week I had an experience while celebrating my 43rd birthday that finally convinced me I'm autistic, after a year of (on and off) seriously considering it.
My initial reaction was almost euphoric due to the validation and relief I felt. I got so much validation from my husband as well, which was so lovely.
Now I find that the euphoria has been replaced by so much grief, and intermittent shame, as memories are coming up almost rapid fire of all the times I suffered due to missing the larger social context of new environments or situations.
To add another layer of complication, I'm now waking up in the middle of the night worrying about my 6 y/o daughter. I see the same traits in her and I'm catastrophizing about what this will mean for her transitioning soon from her tiny private school to a public school. I know there is problem solving I can and will do around that, including getting her assessed. But I'm finding it all a bit overwhelming right now. It's hard to separate my own processing of what this all means for me, from my worries about my daughter.
Just looking for validation of this experience of ups and downs post (unofficial) diagnosis.

OK OK, so hear me out first... A long time friend of mine recently got married, 2 weeks later her husband suffered a sudden burst brain aneurism and sadly passed. I can't imagine her pain, especially so soon after getting married. She had 2 children with her husband, ages 5 & and almost 2 year old. She's obviously been depressed which I get 100% but she started to reflect her feelings on her children, like she'll say things that make the kids upset well the oldest one anyway, the youngest dont understand much. But she says stuff like daddy should be doing this with you or daddy would have loved to see you do this etc, which at first is expected but now its constant and it makes the oldest upset.... I feel like she needs to know she's pushing negative feelings towards their dads death rather than trying to get them to remember them how they saw him, also I must add that his doctor missed things which possibly could have left to a different outcome and she says that infront of them all the time too, like.. if it wasn't for the nasty doctors daddy would still be here, like they're already traumatised and she's adding to it... would I be the a hole if I said something?

Okay so, I joined al-anon for a number of reasons. I kept getting it recommended to me, people saying that it will apply to every area of my life, as I am a chronic enabler, rescuer and cannot set boundaries. Someone told me to go, even just to listen. For context, nearly my whole family is in active addiction or alcoholism. My mom is fresh in recovery, but my aunt (my closest confidant) has been in recovery and sober for 12+ years. She has the same problems I do with taking care of the entire family and not taking care of ourselves. Anyway, I went to a meeting and then got a message from my half brothers mother, saying our (alcoholic) dad cannot help out with prom costs. Even though I have no money for myself as it is, what do you think I asked her? “How much do you need?”
I was disappointed in myself, but how could I not help out?? That’s my brother, ya know? And he’s young (17). Just wanted to share. I don’t even have a sponsor yet, and still need to purchase a copy of the 12 step book. I’m gonna keep going back. Not sure if anyone might be able to relate, just wanted to share my journey. I have spent entire days searching for father when he goes MIA (he’s in another state). I’m talking, calling jails, hospitals, rehabs, shelters, sober living, police stations, community resource centers, etc. so he has really put me through it. I will be crying for days, thinking he is dead. That’s one thing I’d like to work on, is not being so obsessive over my family. I have, in the past, put trackers on loved one’s cars, called the cops on them, 302’d them, etc.
Okay i’m done now, good luck to everyone and i’m glad to have joined this sub, as well as the local group.

Just some background information, me (26F) and my bf (26M) just celebrated our 5 year anniversary. He is from a remote northern Canadian town and we currently live in a city 6 ish hours away and just bought a house a year ago. I am from another province but I have family in the city and drive home 8 ish hours usually around the holidays and long weekends. He is extremely close with his family and often goes to visit at least once a month. Some more context, he works a fly in and out job so I only see him half of the year.
He has asked me to move back for years and I always told him I didn’t want to because I would be giving up everything. I finally feel happy with the life I have built in the city. I have new lasting friendships, a good relationship with my family, adventure, and hobbies (I train aerial arts). I already struggle with loneliness and depression when he’s at work as I tend to isolate myself pretty easily and have to force myself to go out, otherwise I won’t have human interaction for days at a time.
We just found out last week that is dad has cancer. His dad is his biggest role model so of course this has destroyed him. He feels guilty for not spending more time, not being there the last five years, etc. I’m doing my best to be a rock for him when he needs it, but he has left to go spend a few months with his family, which is fine because it’s what he needs the most right now, and I told him I would look after the house while he's away.
Of course now the idea of us moving there is stronger than ever, as he said it’s “a damn good reason to move back”. His dad is taking about leaving him the house, and his mom is talking about how someone will need to move in with her if something where to happen since she can’t look after everything herself (they live on a few acres of land). He has three other siblings, two of them have their own families but they all live in the town. His closest brother has mentioned that he and his fiancée are willing to move in with his mom since they are the only ones without a mortgage.
Of course I love my bf so much, and I never want to lose him and I always said he was the one and we were going to get married. I know it’s selfish, and maybe I’m an asshole, but I would be giving up EVERYTHING to move there. My family, my friends, my aerial arts, my job, everything. My family back home has repeatedly told me not to move there as it’s too remote and we’ll never be able to visit (it’s over 10 hours of driving). I’ve always been a city girl. I like going out to bars, restaurants, festivals, downtown life, having my out of town friends visit, etc. My bf has always been a country boy, grew up quadding, fishing, shooting, etc. I enjoy the country but this is not the life I would have made for myself. I’m not sure that I can be happy there, and I’m afraid of being left alone there with no support while he’s gone to work. My family would never visit and neither would my friends. I want to support him, but I’m not sure about making this sacrifice, but I don’t want to lose him either.
tl;dr bf is from small remote town and wants to move back, I don’t want to because the sacrifice is too much for me. His dad has cancer and now the pressure to move back is on.

So I (32M) met my now ex girlfriend (25F) right before the holidays kicked off. The past 5 months were amazing. I gave her a promise ring and was honestly at the point where I was going to get an engagement ring.
I have a bunch of tattoos. At the beginning of the relationship she would joke around about her offering to pay for me to get them removed. She also made me promise I wouldn’t get anymore.
She was also always bugging me about saving money, saying I have a belly and need to go on a diet. Stuff I thought I was willing to change just because it would benefit me for the better.
So we broke up a month ago because love is blind. Long story short, her dad shot and killed someone and was then gun down by police. I had the privilege to meet the man twice and he seemed like the type of guy to give you his shirt off his back.
So I dealt with a very heart broken woman, which as a man is my job to comfort her. What really bugged me and 1 of the main reasons I ended it is what she said to me. “Is it weird that the first thing I thought of after arriving at my dads, was that I’m scared you’re going to do the same thing.” At the time I didn’t think anything of it, but today all I can think of is…. “She really compared me to a murderer.” I was in the Army for 9 years and do have some combat PTSD. I have never in my life thought about murdering someone. So she gave me the ultimatum to get rid of all my guns or she wouldn’t live with me.
I felt like I couldn’t confront her about anything without getting yelled at and stomped back down to my place. So I sent her all these concerns over text which she denied them all. Which then I broke up with her because of all these reasons. (I didn’t mention all the 15 things she wanted to change about me because they were crazy).
So a week after the break up I got drunk and reached out to her. She called me erratic and said that the relationship means nothing to her and to leave her in peace as she’s mourning her father.
Those words right there keep haunting me. How can I mean nothing now? Was I really erratic? I’ve done research on narcissistic behavior and she fit the bill.
Problem I’m having now is idk how to let go. I saw my future with her and the family we were planning on having. Only for it to mean nothing to her in the end.

Buckle up, this one’s gonna be long. I (24F) have always known that I liked women, but thought I preferred men (🙄). My first ever kiss was with my best friend (a girl) when we were 13, and afterwards I FREAKED out and ghosted her. Like literally would not talk to her cold turkey for like 2 years. And the thing about it is that I refused to think about it, I wouldn’t let myself think about why I was treating her this way.
My friend group growing up was very tolerant, many of them being openly queer. When I was 15, we were at a sleepover of all girls and played spin the bottle… So basically I kissed like 7 girls before I ever kissed a man 😂 I don’t remember it being particularly earth shattering, just little teenage pecks but still. But another thing about me is that I was boy crazy growing up, I had a crush on every boy that was nice to me. When I was 16 and got my first boyfriend, we made out a few times and I was so not into it. I dumped him 3 months in. At the same time I was going to a concert with my bestie and suggesting we “pretend to be gfs so guys dont talk to us” (sorry these thoughts are just coming as I write)
The rest of high school I was “in love with” the same guy my best friend had a crush on… So I didn’t have another boyfriend in high school. When I got to college, I was excited to date new people and went on lots of dates with men, but I was always too scared to date a woman. I always knew one day I would build up the nerve to go out with a girl and then… I met my boyfriend.
So, my boyfriend and I met at a really weird time in my life. I was really uncomfortable at my dorm with tension from my roommates, I was feeling out of place at my dads and my mom and i weren’t speaking. When he and I got together, it escalated really fast because I stayed over ALL the time. I felt safe and comfortable at his house, he quickly became my best friend. We would watch movies and smoke weed and order food. The first few times we kissed and had sex, I felt like something was missing. I honestly didn’t even really like him romantically, he wasnt a very good boyfriend, but he was the best option. Shit went down with my mom, she was on drugs and losing it, my dad and i weren’t getting along and i ended up moving in with my bf at the ripe old age of 19. As soon as I moved out my stepmom gave my room to my brother and I was officially out of options (so it felt like). I was estranged from both sides of my family for about 6 months. during that time my bf and i fought a lot and i wanted to break up with him but felt like I couldn’t. I really did start to love him but at this point I am struggling to remember the feeling. We would have sex a lot, and it was exciting because he is the only person I have ever slept with. It very often wasn’t great, and I would end up crying myself to sleep not knowing why. We have significantly less sex now (5 years later) and I still struggle with an unease afterwards. We have gone through so many of my hard times together and I developed a very codependent relationship with him. I would get severe anxiety being away from him and he became my rock. I went through a very dark year were I was depressed and didn’t work. He was as supportive as he could’ve been and got me through it. He supported me when I went back to school and worked a job he hated. He is so wonderful and thats what makes this hurt so bad. I love him with all of my heart, he is my best friend, but I am not sure if im in love with him.
A few months ago, I read Tryst Six Venom and it consumed me. It was the first w/w book I had read (i pretty much only read m/m before). I haven’t stopped thinking “oh shit am i a lesbian?” since. Then I read this stupid comphet shit and have been crying my eyes out for days. It feels too real now. When I close my eyes and think of reaching out and touching a body, its a womans. I feel curves and breasts and soft hair and soft skin. My boyfriend is my home, where i’m comfortable, but i’m terrified I am missing out on what i’m meant for. I dont know, basically what im trying to say im about 90% that im a lesbian but scared shitless. I dont want to blow up my life. What if im wrong and ruin lives for nothing? He will be devastated. This fucking sucks.
PS If you were wondering about my attraction to other men, its been at almost a zero since i have been with my bf. Im a certified man hater actually.
pss sorry for the grammar i partook in a lil too much devils lettuce

My friend and I (both 23F) have known each other for 2+ years. She’s never been in a serious relationship and has always acted mopey when a guy breaks off things with her. We were also roommates for a year and she gets reallllyyyy invested in the ego aspect of things.
Lately, she was also seeing another guy who broke up with her after 3 months of sleeping with her and she constantly calls me up to vent/ask for advice. She will rant about him, how he broke her heart, how she deserves better and as soon as he asks her to see him again, she leaps at the opportunity. Honestly it’s annoying having boy talk with her.
I’m like, whatever, she’s a dear friend and I love her. Now, she told me she was worried she was pregnant, and I consoled her. Few weeks later she tells me she had been briefly sleeping with a man who is 40 years old and has a 13 year old daughter. I was horrified. She said he treated her well and took her out on nice dates and I joked if he was her sugar daddy now. I also warned her that power dynamics are messed up in relationships like these but she assures me that this is just sex and nothing.
Now, I think I may be an asshole for how I think. I am a little judgy about anyone sleeping around if they don’t know how to mentally handle and separate themselves from their feelings. Usually, people who opt casual relationships are mature enough to avoid getting emotionally invested but she isn’t the type to avoid doing so.
My judgment of her is also not that kind and now I feel that she lacks impulse control and her sleeping around proves just that. She would want to rant about how this guy is treating her as a booty call yet jump his bones again when he signals to her. And now she’s sleeping with an older man which is honestly creepy. She will give excuses how the break up is too fresh and how she can’t act like she’s moved on.
I’m honestly put off by her and respect her less because she’s shown she doesn’t care about her own self respect really.
I’ve distanced myself from her now because I can’t relate with her at all.
AITAH?

jfc i hate my laptop
In 2013 I updated my desktop to Windows 8... and it bricked my computer.
I was computerless until 2015 when a coworker gave me her daughter's macbook for free (because she graduated college and was given a new one).
I've had this mac since 2015.
So why am I bitching?
I got an update notice today and when I went to update my OS, I was told I didn't have enough space. My computer's OS has taken up so much space on my harddrive that I can no longer update my computer. I checked my disk space and there's nothing I could delete that would give me enough space to update my computer. 121 gigabytes and ~7 gigabytes are my files.
I haven't been able to touch Steam since I got this computer, even Mac-capable games won't run on it. No idea why. Not that it matters, it starts to overheat just watching YouTube. I can use discord voice calls, but god help me if I turn on the webcam!
I can't watch any kind of livestream. Twitch? Nope. YouTube? Nope. My friends with their webcams turned on when in a Discord call? Nope.
All three of those things have crashed my computer.
I fucking hate this laptop, but I'm disabled and I can't afford to get a new one. Can't even buy it piecemeal because I went and did the silly thing of being in love and getting married, and all our money goes to bills, food, and paying for the house/car.
And yes, I entered the contest -- and I very much don't expect to win it.
But the update thing happened today and it was one of those moments where I thank the gods that we were able to finally get an appointment with a psychiatrist and get me on some medications, 'cause that would have completely broken me less than two months ago. I was just upset and needed to vent to someone, and I love (most of) this community, so I figured I'd shout into the void here.
And yeah, I know, "didn't ask." lol

I’m a new dad to a 3 week old boy. After an emergency c-section, my wife and I met our healthy baby after waiting for 4 years. Our hearts are full of joy and love, combined with exhaustion as you all can imagine. We have a dog of 5 years. One I’ve truthfully never been super fond of. It’s been a bit of a tug and pull with my wife prior to the baby being born. I’ve told her I don’t like the responsibility of the dog, she said she would take care of him. But of course, I find myself taking the dog out late at night or early mornings, as she would be too tired etc, especially after being pregnant. I never put my foot down as we’ve been trying for years and the dog was somewhat of a support for her when she was down.
Now after the baby is here, she’s distance from the dog. She’s practically got no time for interactions with the dog. Keeping the dog away from the baby, telling the dog to leave the room etc. The dog is definitely neglected and I see him sad. I know this seems all quite sad to hear and feeling bad for the dog, but I guess when you have a baby, I’ve heard some new mums resent their dog during the baby blues.
Since we live in an apartment, every time the dog needs the toilet, it’s strap the baby in the carrier or in stroller, leash the dog and leave. This was quite difficult for her, too. I took two weeks off, but even after she was physically healthy to do it herself, it was still something she doesn’t want to do (although she’ll never admit it).
When I mention ‘I think it’s time we spoke about the dog’ she says let’s wait a few more weeks and see. I’m not sure what to do. Although I don’t like the dog much, it doesn’t feel nice giving him away. However, I do know life would be so much easier and less stressful without him. More importantly, I don’t want my wife to be upset if we gave the dog away, but I don’t think it’ll be as heartbreaking since we now have a baby.
Has anyone been through a difficult time with their pet after having a baby? Can you speak to your experience and how you navigated this?

So, to preface this, my dad [47M] and I [20NB] have a TERRIBLE relationship. I am in a divorced family and this is one of those situations where both parents are the bad guy. I'll save what I did to my mom for another story, this is all about my dad.
When I was a kid, right after the divorce, I started visitation with my dad every other weekend and whenever I specifically requested to see him. My mom wanted to make sure I at least got some kind of paternal experience. I remember that, at first, it was fine and I'd go spend time with him and we'd play games or cook together. He was being truly a great father to me.
This all ended very abruptly when I didn't see him for three months with no warning. When I saw him again, he took me to an arcade and we won some tickets and got prizes. He began telling me he was in college and studying so he could get a real cool job. I was around 8 years old at this point and didn't understand fully what college was for, but I just nodded and smiled.
We are about to leave the arcade and he apologizes to me by saying, "I'm sorry I haven't seen you much. I'll try to see you more, but only if your mom will let me."
I didn't see him for another 3-ish months. This happened for 2 years straight and every time he would tell me that my mom wasn't letting him see me. This made me hate my mom growing up and started my feud with her that lasted well into my teenage years. I had always just assumed he was tell the truth because why would my dad lie to me?
Eventually we went back to the every other weekend schedule and whenever I wanted to take a walk to see him (he lived less than a mile away at this point). I, at one point, went on a walk to see him and a cop pulled over by me asking why a 10 year-old little girl was walking down a busy road by herself. I told him and he drove me to my dad.
My dad was furious and yelled at my mom, thinking I was being dropped off and not walking. He eventually let that go and I started staying at his house more often. That's when things started to shift in his personality.
I learned some interesting things while living with him! Let's make a list of these things:

1. My dad served 4 years in the U.S. Military as a First Private in the Army.
2. My dad has a multitude of mental issues like Bipolar 2 Schizoeffective and Autism, among other things.
3. My dad is medicated for all of his problems.
4. My dad never knew about me SA and r*** situation.
5. My dad is a devout and pious Christian with severe right-wingest ideals.

How many of these are true? Numbers 2 and 5 are true, the rest are absolute lies. Now, I don't care what your political or religious beliefs are, just don't shove them down my throat. Keep them to yourselves, please and thank you. Also, mental disorders are something people can have, and that's fine. Just make sure you're medicated (if you need to be) and make people aware of your stuff if you live with them.
The other things are things I found out weren't true via other people (or myself, in the case of my r***). Turns out, everyone in my family knows my dad is crazy and just rolls with it. I was advised, by my grandmother, to just say yes or okay and move on from whatever he says. So I did.
I spent 6 years of my life just pretending and acting like stuff was okay. I came out to him as non-binary and pan. His answer was to take me to therapy and insist I was being brainwashed by Antifa to believe that any of "that stuff" was real. I was banned from any form of lesbian activity while living with him.
At one point I had come home late from a friend's house (I was 18 and spending time with my friend for her birthday) and he got mad at me. I told him I had texted him to tell him that traffic was bad and I would be a bit late. He says I'm lying and refuses to look at his phone to check for a text.
He then says I am a c*nt and that I have 24 hours to leave and find somewhere else to live. I, according to a lawyer friend, don't have to listen to him as I am a tenant on the lease that pays the majority of rent and can request 30 days to leave from the housing authority as he does not own the home we live in. I decided to say whatever and just look for somewhere else instead.
I end up moving in with a random guy, getting pregnant with twins, moving in with my mom (who is being strangely nice and accommodating) cause the guy who got me pregnant is a drug addict and abuser, and then losing my kids to my mom in a custody battle over my financial stabily after they turn 5 months old and she kicks me out of her house to be homeless.
It's at this point in my life I am fed up with my family. I'm angry, sad, and confused. So, I decided to move out to California to live with a close friend (who became my partner for a bit and then told me they don't love me, so now I'm gonna move again). I called my grandmother to tell her the plan and she said I should tell my dad.
I don't know why I even entertained the thought, but I said sure and called him. The conversation started normally and everything was fine till I told him I was headed for California. He freaked out and said that I shouldn't cause people were getting robbed and stuff. I told him I wasn't going to a big city we're stuff like that was happening and that I would be in a small town in a neighborhood of retired older residents.
He starts bringing up old stories of how I used to lie about picking on my brothers and would sneak treats as a little kid, and brought up old stories about the things I'd do as a kid. Normal dumb kid stuff that kids to to test waters on what they can and can't do. He then got all sorts of egotistical and rude with me and said, "Well, don't come cryin' to me when everything goes downhill, little girl."
I snapped. It was at that moment that I lost my sh*t and just unloaded everything on him.
"Oh, really, Dad? Like you did when we couldn't pay rent and I was a teen prstitute for a year and a half cause you came crying to me with your problems? I don't have time for your BS and I really don't have time for any more of your lies. 4 months in the military, not 4 years. Never been medicated for your problems when you're supposed to be on high dosage lithium for your problems. When you said you never knew what happened to me at 13, you lied! It was your friends that did that sht! Or maybe we should talk about the gender identity crisis I went through because of you? I was confused for years because of that! You wanna talk about lies and deceit? Address your own."
It was at that moment that I heard a voice in the background say, "Seriously, Matt?"
My dad had his phone on speaker and was at work during a meeting with his coworkers and boss.
Haven't heard from him since he hung up that call. 🤣

My dad has never once said this to me despite all of his stress, but I heard it all the time, almost daily, from my mom.
She had me when she was 16. She doesn't know who the dad is and wouldn't tell me if she did know. My dad is technically my step/adopted dad, but he raised me and is my biggest supporter so the biology doesn't matter for me.
He married my mom when they were both 18 and took me in as his daughter. He was a high school drop out, but when he married my mom he got to work on a GED and getting into college for a better job so he could support us.
What did my mom do? Absolutely nothing. She sat on her ass all day, drank, partied, did drugs and cheated, which really wasn't any change from what she did before she married him. It's the reason I was born while she was a teenager.
Even though she got to keep living her teenage years well into my childhood because my dad was too busy to stop her, she blamed me for her life being the way it was.
She had complete and total freedom, but somehow it was still my fault that she couldn't enjoy her life anymore, even when she put her responsibilities onto me so she could leave to party.
Apparently her choice to keep me ruined her life. I didn't ask to be born, I tried to be a good child, but it wasn't enough clearly.
I'm glad my dad isn't like her. He says all the time that he loves me and that he chose to be my father for a reason. He's my best friend. It just sucks I couldn't have both parents. At least he's got a cool girlfriend though. She's such a sweet lady.

(Sorry for any bad grammar or spelling i’m dyslexic)
Me (16 F) work at an escape room business, this is my first ever real job outside of babysitting and petsitting and i absolutely love it here! My coworkers are awesome and the work is fun and easy (despite some customers). I’m also not from here, me and my mom had to move about 7 months ago because she was deployed on the other side of the country. It’s just me her and our pets, my family is still back in my home town and i miss them a lot considering i’m very close to them. I especially miss my dad, brother, aunt, and grandma. (Although i wish to see my dad and little bro the most they don’t have enough money to come visit us.) So you can guess my excitement about 2 months ago when my aunt said she was coming to see us. I immediately texted my boss asking for time off on those 3 days to spend time with my aunt my manager (Let’s call her Layla, fake name) texted me saying she’ll see if anyone can cover my shift for those days.
Fast forward to about 2 days ago, I was at work and i decided to look through when i had to come in this month, and that’s when i see that i’m scheduled to work the WHOLE TIME my aunt is coming in. i was confused so i asked Layla about that and our conversation went like this:
Layla: “Oh ya to get time off you actually need to request it through When2Work” (our scheduling system)
Me: “I know but the reason i ask for you to give me that time off is because i didn’t have W2W then so i needed you to put it in.”
She kinda just shrugged and went off to help a customer. To say i was baffled and hurt was an understatement. i was looking forward to seeing my family for months now, i have really bad anxiety and depression and being able to see my family again was kinda the thing holding me together. i feel ashamed for this but at the time i couldn’t handle all the emotions floating through me so i broke down in the workplace bathroom.
i honestly don’t even know how to approach this situation and it’s been all i can really think about for the last last few days. any advice or something would be appreciated but i just really needed to get it off my chest.

Okay so a little background- My husband and I (28F and 32M) have been together and married for 9 years, we have just welcomed our baby girl last July- the first grand baby of both families, everyone was thrilled. Our baby recieves a lot of attention from my husband’s parents since we live around the corner from them.
I have a sister in law, Camie (26). She LOVES kids and has voiced how much she would love a baby. Camie and her boyfriend have some issues. They always complain to her parents about how they can never afford things, leaving my inlaws to foot the bill, such as: a lawn mower, getting their dog spayed, patio furniture & a vacation to mexico.
There are a couple people that voiced concern about them starting a family.. Her dad- my FIL, has been adiment about her boyfriend getting serious about their relationship first (putting a ring on it), before they think about having a child. Camie agreed, but stated that it will be a while before they got married as it would be expensive. Her sister, my other SIL- has been hearing up and down about their issues/fights. It seems that every other week they are split up for a day or two before reconnecting. We hardly see Camie’s boyfriend as they usually get into a fight before she makes the trip over to where we live, so he doesn’t come with her.
A couple of months ago Camie asked me what I thought of her having a baby since she was lonely at home. I did not lie, I said I didn’t think it was the best idea since her boyfriend is hardly around, both work wise and emotionally. Plus, they have only been together for a little over a year. Skip to last week, Camie comes to visit us with her boyfriend. She gathers us all at the table for a ‘family photo’ before her boyfriend says ‘Sayyy…. Camie’s pregnant!’ As he takes a video. Her sister, with a straight face says “is this a joke?”. Her father, frowns through his smile and looks down at the ground. My husband, shakes his head and walks away. I, put on a huge smile and say Oh my gosh congratulations!. We all gather ourselves up to wish her congratulations, but there are clear bad vibes going on. She doesn’t notice.
Camie, Upon reviewing the video, texted me, very upset that her announcement video was a dud and that her family was not supportive. She was upset, stating, how could everyone be so excited for me? And not for her?. I told her, that everyone might not be super excited at first and that’s okay, it’s just a bit jarring to hear this news.
Camie name calls me and her family a bunch of a holes who don’t respect her decision as a grown woman.
AITA for telling her the pregnancy wasn’t exactly wanted by everyone? Or does she deserve the flack

Next month will be 5 years that I have been a Registered Nurse.
In honor of that, I’d like to share one (of many I have had) career defining moments…my first patient code.
I had been a RN for maybe 6 months and was working overnights from 7pm to 7:30am. I had just come on to shift and received report for my patients when the son of one of them called and asked to speak with me.
He goes on to explain that he’s concerned for his Mom because she hadn’t had much to eat or drink in the couple days she had been a patient with us. He was also concerned about her ability to communicate with staff effectively as she was older and had multiple strokes that left her forgetting a lot of her English. Instead, she tended to mumble in her native language…Polish.
After speaking with him, I immediately looked up key words in Polish I knew I would need if I was going to be able to connect with her the same way I do all my other patients.
I looked up the Polish word for nurse. Pielęgniarka.
Next, I looked up the word for pain. Ból.
Medicine. Medycyna.
Potato. Ziemniak.
Water. Woda.
Potato seems random, but in my conversation with her son, he said her favorite food was mashed potatoes (mine too!) and that’s what she had ordered for dinner earlier that was still sitting on her table to eat.
When the time came and I entered her room, I found her lying in bed, seemingly bored, but curious as to who I was. I introduced myself as her nurse using the word I had just looked up and she greeted me with a smile.
The next 10-15 minutes after had her and I laughing together as I haphazardly tried communicating with her using broken Polish and hand gestures. You could tell there was a language barrier, but it didn’t stop either of us from getting our point across, and the giggling from us both lightened the mood.
I remember feeding her the mashed potatoes and hearing her go, “Mmmmmmm” as she swallowed them.
I remember her declining the “woda” I kept offering.
Then I remember her clutching at her hip and writhing in pain. That wasn’t a shock considering she was there with a broken hip awaiting surgery, but had to be off her regularly prescribed blood thinners for a while first. I asked if she had pain and she nodded yes. I asked if she wanted pain medicine and she said yes. I gave it to her and watched her settle back down until she began itching her arms motioning to me that she was uncomfortable. I massaged lotion into both of her arms as she sighed of relief and said, “Very good! Very good” taking both of my hands into hers to thank me.
I smiled back and said that she was welcome. Knowing she was feeling better, I went to round on other patients, occasionally peeking in to see how she was doing. After an hour or so, I went back in her room and saw that she had fallen asleep. I fixed her nasal cannula as it had fallen down from her ears and I checked her foley to make sure the tubing wasn’t getting kinked. I made sure she was covered with her blanket so she wouldn’t be cold. Hospitals are always so cold…
I went to another patient’s room. 2 minutes later, one my CNA’s came to me saying they just went in her room and she wasn’t breathing.
What? How?
I just came from there and she had been sleeping peacefully. There were no signs of distress.
What do you mean she isn’t breathing?
I ran to her room. I checked for a pulse. No pulse.
Panic set in. I quickly confirm she’s a full code and my staff and I jumped into action.
One of us got the crash cart. One of us paged for a code. One of us started compressions while the other ambu bagged her.
Suddenly a bunch of staff are at my side as we all fall into our assigned roles.
I remember those compressions I did on her. No one ever talks about the trauma that CPR does to a person’s body…
How the ribs crack like uncooked pasta underneath your hands.
After rounds of CPR, we managed to get a pulse back and transferred her straight to the ICU where she coded again.
We resumed our roles. We must have tried for over 30 minutes.
She wasn’t coming back.
The family (her son and daughter) had been contacted and the doctor called it.
The rest of that night was a blur to me. I had other patients to take care of, so I went back to my unit until the family had arrived and asked to speak with me.
I told them everything that happened from the first moment I walked in to her room. I showed them my chicken scratch notes of the polish words I looked up. I explained that I had no explanation for what could have happened as I saw no signs that she was in danger. And then I broke down crying apologizing profusely feeling like I had completely failed her and them.
Suddenly the son hugged me, then the daughter. They both thanked me for doing what I did for their mother, stating that most people wouldn’t have even taken the time to look up Polish words. Then he said something I’ll never forget. He said she knew her time was coming as earlier that day she mentioned to them both that she would be going “home” soon.
To this day I wish I knew what happened. To this day I try to think about what signs I could have missed. To this day I wonder if I could have done anything differently.
I’ll never forget her, and I think of her often hoping her last moments here provided some bit of love and comfort.

I Never posted so excuse any grammar or structure mistakes
My dad was an alcoholic, not a mean drunk but just couldn’t stop drinking, before I was born so my parents got divorced when I was three. He had visitation right but slow over the years he lost them because the drinking was taking a toll on his body and my mom didn’t want my siblings and I to see it, which I don’t blame her for that. He passed away from cirrhosis in 2015 when I was 14. I hadn’t talked to him in a couple years before his death, I didn’t hate him I actually admired him and the legendary life he lived, but he called me about six months before he died asking why I don’t call him. To be honest I don’t know why I never called him, maybe subconsciously I was pushing him out because I knew from an early age the alcohol was going to kill him so I was preparing myself, honestly don’t know. In that phone call I promised him I’d call him more, I never did call him. Six months later he’s dead and I failed him as a son. Everyday for the last 9 years I have felt like a genuine piece of shit and I’m just so damn disappointed with myself that I couldn’t keep my promise to him, I don’t even know if he loved me because I never called him back to find out. I haven’t been back to his gravestone since we buried him out of guilt. I’m not religious but I’ve often thought about ending it all for the hopes that there is an afterlife just so I can apologize to him, but I’ve been to much of a chicken to actually pull the trigger. It kills me everyday I wake up and think about what a failure I am as a human and a son. I’m sorry if this seems trivial or just a nonsense rant, I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to speak about this with my family and therapists just piss me off, bad past experiences with them. I guess I’m asking if there’s a way to get past this or if I should continue to feel guilty as a punishment. I’m just lost and don’t know where to go anymore.
Again I’m sorry if this was confusing to read, I was never good at typing things out. Any advice weather it’s good, bad, or if you just want to make fun of me for being a little baby about all this I’ll listen to it all

TW for suicide and suicidal idealation
The Og villainess/body who killed herself bc her family was horrible and neglectful of her, she wakes up when the new soul arives. She was forced to watch as her family, the ones who ignored her, who mistreated her and who hated her, fell completely inlove with this stranger because she's useful to them and because she is very resolutely NOT HER. They were kinder to "her" because of her 'close brush' with death, giving her more patience and kindness than they ever did when she was alive. Even though they think Og Villainess is still there, she isn't. She is/was dead, and they were never supposed to 'get her back' again, but instead they got to cheat fate and gain back their sistedaughtefiance again.
At one point a magic spell type thing happens (maybe a truth spell that forces the 'true' owner if the body to speak) ,and for a short time, the family is given back the real daughter they threw away. She knows now the 'truth' behind why they didn't love her before (all the stereotypical excuses) and unlike the new female lead, she doesn't forgive them. The entire time, back in her now unfamiliar body her family is so confused 'Why she's so different?' This pisses her off because SHE ISNT ACTING DIFFERENT! THIS IS THE REAL HER! THEY DIDNT NOTICE THE FACT A WHOLE. ASS. PERSON. TOOK OVER HER BODY BUT THEY NOTICE WHEN SHE GETS IT BACK???
She is furious but at the same time, so deeply insecure and depressed. She's thinking "She made herself successful, she gained all I couldn't. What right do I have to take that away from her?" Which is why she doesn't say anything yet. At one point, her brothers do the typical OI brother shtick only...she hates it. She finally boils over and says "You're both so worried about me getting hurt going out at night but neither of you gave a shit about me trying to kill myself three years ago
The neglectful family is forced to make amends and confront the consequences of their past actions, without the isekaied female leads sense of separation or sympathy.
I know in a lot of isekais they 'twist' is that it's actually a regression with a life in Korea or smth wedged between but it always bothered me because they definitely had completely different experiences. So maybe in that instance she just gets amnesia and remembers back to right before she 'died'
Can you tell this was inspired by Lady Chef Royale lmao

DANCING WITH THE STARS: THE PROS' MOST ICONIC QUOTES ✨

Day	Pro Dancer	Quote
1	Karina Smirnoff	"Is there any reason why your head looks like a pigeon?"
2	Valentin Chmerkovskiy	"Bro, you're one big wrong already."
3	Witney Carson	"What do you need, a snack?"
4	Anna Trebunskaya	"Some people say I'm a tough teacher. And I am."
5	Brandon Armstrong	"I was born in '94..."
6	Cheryl Burke	"So the name of the song is 'Call Me Irresponsible', remind you of anybody? I think it's perfect for you!"
7	Edyta Śliwińska	"I'm wearing so much clothes that I got tangled in it!"
8	Artem Chigvintsev	"Fine! I watched 'Fifty Shades of Grey'!"
9	Corky Ballas	"Now we're doing the Mambo which originated in the '40s!"...
10	Chelsie Hightower	"South America speaks Spanish?"
11	Derek Hough	"I'm rough, I'm tough, I'm Derek Hough."
12	Charlotte Jørgensen	"Get your heel up on your back foot, or I'll kill you."
13	Allison Holker	"Team Rallison!!!"
14	Julianne Hough	"I felt like you just had to phone it in so you could get back with Meryl."
15	Alec Mazo	"Josie is deceptively unfit."
16	Alan Bersten	"It's a little shaky in here!"
17	Jenna Johnson	"ADAM! WE GOTTA QUICKSTEP!!!"
18	Ashly DelGrosso-Costa	"It needs to be equal teamwork, and I can't play a tug-of-war anymore."
19	Gleb Savchenko	"You look like a dancer when you're not moving."
20	Kym Johnson-Herjavec	"I should never have made us try that stupid lift..."
21	Maksim Chmerkovskiy	"With all due respect, this is my show, I help make it what it is."
22	Lacey Schwimmer	"STEVE!!! How am I supposed to be in love with you if you keep farting all the time?!?!"
23	Mark Ballas	“And you said habede habeduh de de. Daba da dip bah da be. That’s what you said when I asked you."
24	Lindsay Arnold	"That salsa will get ya-every time!"
25	Louis Van Amstel	"I was jealous of Mark on Season 5, but I got the girl now!"
26	Koko Iwasaki	"You're a real Jersey party boy, and I need you to be a suave English gentleman for Bond Night."
27	Keo Motsepe	"If Len gives a 10, I'm gonna run down and kiss him!"
28	Peta Murgatroyd	Her scream after finding out that she and Tommy Chong had made the semi-finals.
29	Pasha Pashkov	"You don't know who I am, but I've been praying I get you!"
30	Sasha Farber	"If you wanna dance, you know it would be my honour. My main worrybis your health."
31	Jonathan Roberts	"Let's take a commercial break."
32	Daniella Karagach	"YEAH! OH SHIT!!!"
33	Dmitry Chaplin	"I feel like I'm cheating on Jewel with another partner."
34	Sharna Burgess	"I got to do the Backstreet Boys' move next to a Backstreet Boy, and I think it's kinda awesome!"
35	Tristan MacManus	"And I got a 7. Hurt my feelins!"
36	Britt Stewart
37	Rylee Arnold
38	Tony Dovolani
39	Emma Slater

Welcome to DANCING WITH THE STARS: THE PROS' MOST ICONIC QUOTES ✨

A huge thank you to the lovely u/invader_holly who suggested the idea, and that I run this game here! 💕
How does it work?
Each day, I'll reshare this board. With each day is a new pro. Similarly to past games I've done like Dances of the Seasons, The Dancing with the Stars Alphabet, Favourite Dances Per Style, and The Pros' Most Memorable Dances, for every day, you can all comment a response. This time, the response would be a quote from the respective pro for that day! As with previous games, the comment with the most upvotes wins. At the end, I'll put together a video compilation together!
MAKE SURE THAT IF YOU WANT TO SUGGEST NUMEROUS QUOTES, DO THEM EACH IN A SEPERATE COMMENT. THE COMMENT WITH THE MOST UPVOTES WINS AND IS ADDED TO THE BOARD. IF POSSIBLE, PLEASE TRY AND ADD WHEN THE PRO SAYS THE QUOTE (SO I CAN FIND THE CLIP TO ADD TO THE VIDEO COMPILATION).
Yesterday's round was won by u/HornetWest4950 's suggestion!

DAY 36: BRITT STEWART

Hello all. Seeking some advice/opinions/perspective from the wise women here. Long post coming! I (35F) have been dating my boyfriend (40M) for about 15 months. He has a daughter (7 yo) who up until approximately 5 months ago was living with her mother in another state. Five months ago, the mother got into some trouble with the law (drug use issues), resulting in him now having his daughter full time in the state we live in.
The first ~12 months of our relationship, I grew accustomed to it just being him and I (we live separately but ~15 minutes away from each other) - going to dinner, happy hour, concerts, plan trips, etc. Doing whatever we want/whenever we want. Having his daughter around full time obviously has changed the dynamic. Although the three of us spend time together often, I can't help but start to have doubts about the relationship moving forward. It is an evolving situation but his plan is to fight for full legal custody of his daughter, but he has not started the process yet so not sure what it will look like in the future if/how the mother will have more involvement. He is great guy, I love him and we get along well and I was enjoying the trajectory of our relationship, but I can't help but miss the way things were for the first year of our relationship. He has no immediate family nearby to help out so I know this has been an adjustment for him as well - taking care of her, balancing work, and his relationship with me. His daughter is a great kid and we have fun together, but just not sure if I "fit" into the equation. I do not have any children of my own and have never really envisioned myself having children or becoming a stepmom. I was hopeful of a future together - moving in together, marriage, etc. but feel now that the new situation will cause a delay in these plans and not sure I am the right person to take on a full 'step mom' role. I am not opposed to dating men with children, I think it's just the fact that right now he is caretaker 100% of the time has made it difficult for us to have solo dates (maybe 4 in the last 5 months) and even intimate time. It's a tough situation due to the mother's history of drug use and I think he is absolutely doing the right thing for his daughter to keep her safe. He is doing his best - I think it is just up to me to decide if I fit in.
Anyone ever been in a similar situation? How did you navigate it? I feel hesitant to "discard" this relationship prematurely without knowing how the future situation with the two parents/custody will evolve. But also feel torn that I don't want to waste time in a situation that isn't 'ideal' for me. Any input/guidance/words of wisdom are appreciated!

I (21F) am part of a very religious and traditionally strict family. When my sister (40, Alice) got married her husband (40, Stephen) and his brother (mid 40s, Joseph) moved into the house next door (my dad helped them get it and their jobs since they emigrated from a different country). Stephen and Joseph came to our house at mealtimes to eat (since they're men and obvs can't cook /s).
One day Joseph came to eat and he had a helium balloon to give me (i was 5 at the time), I was in the bathroom and instead of leaving it there or giving it to one of my many family members, he decided to take it back with him. After he'd left, someone told me about the balloon so I went to get it with my brother (34 now, 18 then, Simon), my brother went to park his car from the driveway into the garage and told me to quickly go and get it. I went in and I couldn't reach it since it was stuck to the ceiling so asked Joseph to get it down for me to, which he said "take your pants off first".
Even at that age I knew I shouldn't do this because not only did it feel wrong but my mom had also repeatedly told me to be careful, modest and stay away from boys (religious and all, she instilled these beliefs in me from back then and I have older sisters who were thought they same things but more strictly so I was the same). So I didn't do anything and was like "no, give it to me". He kept insisting but by that point my brother had also come in and he got it down for me and we went home. Idk if my brother heard but he never mentioned it.
Stephen on the other hand seemed like a nice guy, was good to my sister and all of us siblings and treated us nicely. Throughout the years he somehow flipped, around the time that their sister (Tammy) married my brother. Now, my sister and Stephen can't stand each other but stay together for the sake of their kids and because they know that if they divorce the same will happen to their respective siblings.
A similar thing has already happened in their family, basically their other brother (Cameron) and sister (Sammy) are also married to a pair of siblings. Cameron was caught fucking a random other girl in a field so his wife's brother who is married to Sammy openly dated and had a mistress while still being married. They basically want to avoid another situation like this, our culture is very family oriented and one couple cannot break up and the other stay together.
So basically my sister Alice is scared of her husband and his brothers doing stuff to her children because she lived with them for a decade and they were physically abusive to the kids and also weird in a pedo way. Although they didn't do anything sexual during this time (that I know of; me being so much younger means they don't tell me some stuff) I don't have any doubts about why she thinks that because I know they have these kind of tendencies and wouldn't put it past them to try on their little children.
I believe this because Stephen recently told his 9 year old son about how to "feel good" and get a "warm reaction" when rubbing his private parts. Now his son is 10, and Stephen took him to his bedroom and "laid on top of [my nephew] and jumped and pressed into" in my nephews words. I have nothing against secual education, or masturbation, but 9 years old is too young and humping your son is also a unacceptable.
On the other hand, my sister in law Tammy has a habit of watching porn on our TV, which is in the living room and used by everyone (mostly for the children to watch cartoons on or for family movie nights, ironically). Additionally, she was caught by my brother chatting up my other brother in law (35, Elias). Elias was my brother Simon's best friend since they were toddlers and he strongly denied anything happening between him and Tammy, but his wife (my sister Felice, 32) has previously caught Tammy doing this thing and told my brother Simon. He didn't believe her until we were all vacationing together 2 years ago and he saw it happen first hand. Since then Simon and Elias haven't talked to each other and their wives are basically no contact with each other (Simon and Felice still talk tho, although its more of a small talk kinda relationship so not very close).
Another thing I hate is that Tammy is hateful towards me and my all my sisters, but I will focus on Alice. Alice lives in a one bedroom with her 6 kids, she relies on her husband Stephen for money and everything else, he has control of all the banks and all the government benefits they receive for the kids. He recently sent 20000 back to his family in a different country and sends an additional 1000 every month. His family bought 4 houses in the past 2/3 years, while Alice's kids literally get bullied because they dont have the right equipment for school, their lunches, their clothes and other such reasons.
One of these was when their washing machine broke when Alice was 7 months pregnant and she had to wash the clothes by hand. She tried to talk to my parents and brother Simon and his wife Tammy to persuade Stephen to buy a new one cuz she physically couldn't anymore, to which Tammy responded with "whatever happens, whether something breaks or not, he's not gonna fix it and we're not gonna get you a new one. If you wanna stay here stay otherwise fuck off". My brother shouted at her and then her crocodile tears came out, but in the end my brother had to buy a washing machine for my sister Alice. Stephen also has a habit of leaving his wife with their 6 kids for months on end when he goes to his home country, this happened when she was pregnant twice.
When I was 14, they also tried to arrange a meeting for me to get married to their younger brother who is 7-8 years older than me. My parents and I both rejected this thought without hesitation.
I feel like their whole family is sexually fucked up and I hate them so much, I'm scared for all their kids and feel like either they will rape them or teach them that these things are normal, so they will grow up to be like them. Naturally I want neither of these things, I love my siblings and wish we could just get rid of Tammy and Stephen, but in our culture divorce is frowned upon and people make a really big deal out of it. Idk if I should report Stephen or how to help Alice, pls lmk if there's something I could do, if not pls help me sort out my thoughts and thank you for listening to my rant.