Girl trying to steal my boyfriend quotes

So I have been debating with myself on whether or not my mom was emotionally abusive (she was never physical) when I was younger. We have never gotten along or had a deep understanding relationship, she never listen to me, we’d always fight, she’d put me against my dad and family, she felt like a stranger all my life (starting at about 7). More specific examples from when I was 14 - 15 she cheated on my dad (they never had a good relationship, divorced my dad, married the guy, got pregnant with said guy, aborted it, she had always been extremely conservative Christian so that was unexpected, and then blamed me for 3/4 of everything. Not exact quotes but she said things like “it’s some of dad’s fault but you didn’t love me enough to make me stay” “I don’t care that I’m the parent you should have begged and cried for me to change my actions but you let me do everything not that I would have listened anyway” and then swore me to secrecy for years. I’m 19 btw. My dad was too scared of her to stand against her and my brother was too young to fully understand. Since then she has divorced the other guy, remarried my dad and has been pretty uneventful. I refuse to say anything more than superficial stuff and try to avoid her and not make her mad. I hate that she is nicer to me lately cause I’m still mad but feel like all that pain was invalided and I don’t have enough of an excuse to try to move out sooner. Is that emotional abuse and trauma and is it enough to cause mental health issues? (I struggle often a lot)
I’d love any thoughts

My(F25) boyfriend(M27) and i have been together since i was 21 and he was 23. We’ve had an incident in the past where we cheated on me and i found out when i saw his phone. Recently something has been off and he’s been coming home a little later than usual. Last night i checked his phone and saw he was snapchatting a girl about a month ago and he saved he under the name “horne”. When i opened the chat there was no conversation saved so i’m not sure what they were talking about. I want to ask him about it but i don’t know if he’ll lie to me. Should i talk to him or try to find out more first?

I had the weirdest customer interaction earlier. I had just left OGP with a cart of returns, and this woman and her boyfriend come up behind me and say "Excuse me". I turn around, and she says "DO WE HAVE A PROBLEM?!". I just turn around thinking she's on those damn bluetooth earbuds. I was not that lucky. She says it again, and I pull into one of the aisles. She very angrily accuses me of following her. I have social anxiety, so I'm immediatley a little shaken. Of course, I tell her I'm just doing returns and that I had just left my department before coming here. She gets angerier, goes on a tagent about how she's not stealing, she spends SO MUCH money here, and how dare I suspect her. The part that convinced me she was crazy: She insisted that I was on my phone earlier and telling someone where she was in the store. I was on my phone a few minutes before that, tellilng my boyfriend that my shift is almost over. Although she was not listening to reason, so I didn't even bother to explain that. I just allowed her to go on her rant so she didn't attempt to stab me or some sh*t. Her boyfriend was silent the whole time.

Please bear with me, this is my first post and I feel like this is just the tip of the iceberg.
My boyfriend (M25) and I (F22) just moved into our second apartment together. We’ve been together for 4 years this October and have had our share of struggles, which includes a fight we once had where he expressed there are some things I do that make him feel emasculated (mainly pertaining to how much I make at work).
Anyways, as a moving gift his mom bought him a grill that he’s been wanting for quite some time. Today, he started putting the grill together and I was reading him the instructions and helping him. As we started he wasn’t understanding how I was explaining the instructions and I offered him the manual and he refused it and just kept asking if I was “100% sure” we were doing it right. I kept telling him yes and that he was trying to jump ahead while he kept getting upset with the bolts and screws and getting visibly frustrated. Which made me frustrated so I just told him to put it down for second so I could figure out the best way to this (as you need two people to hold the grill to put it on the legs). He just sat there holding it anyways and was looking at me annoyed as I adjusted the legs and got all the bolts out that we would need to make the process faster. Once we finally got the grill lined up with the legs and put the bolts in he stepped back as I was placing the smaller screws that he was having trouble with due to the angle.
I thought he was just backing up to give me space as it’s a small opening and I was leaning inside the grill. But when I turned around he was on his phone not paying me any mind so I finished tightening the screws and waited for him. HE DID NOT BUDGE. So I kept going and turned the grill on its side by myself and he still did not move. I kept going and started getting the bolts to put the wheels on and he looked at me and walked into our bedroom.
At this point I could feel the tension. So I finished putting the wheels on and left it for him to finish. But to my surprise when I walked into the bedroom I saw he fell asleep. At that point I was done. I grabbed my things and went over to our old apartment to finish cleaning like he said we were going to do when he was done putting the grill together. When I came back the grill was still in the place I left it and I know he woke up because there were boxes from the old place that weren’t previously there.
At this point I’m just lost for words. He hasn’t spoken to me and didn’t acknowledge me when I came back. And this is not the first time he’s gotten upset and not spoken to me.
Would I be the asshole if I just threw in the towel at this point?

I’m stressed, I don’t know how to handle money or where I should be saving it. Right now, I don’t even have a credit card, and I found out I have bad credit from my college dorms trying to collect money from me for the last 3 years. I have tried to get a credit card, but I keep getting declined. I’m going to school for radiology and will be done in a year, but I don’t want to be doing that for the rest of my life. How does someone get rich?! Where should I be putting my big girl money when I start making it? What is a Roth IRA? How does one save for retirement? How do I not fuck up my financial life? ALSO what mistakes should I not be making? 🤦🏼‍♀️

i’m 19f and i am in a rough patch 😭 !!! if anyone has any advice about my situation please let me know, it would be very appreciated as i am hot out of ideas at this point. 1- bad relationship with my mum. no affection, verbal or physical. she has expressed disappointment with me over many things e.g. looks (piercings and small tattoos i have got legally, with my own earned money and easily removed/ covered). she speaks to me very aggressively and is always wanting an argument no matter what. recently she asked if she could repurpose my bedroom and move my things ( again, i am 19 and i cannot afford to rent in the uk) - and then stopped speaking to me when i said that made me feel a little unwelcome in my own home, and if she really wanted my stuff and me gone then she shouldn’t expect to hear from me again (after many years of other hurtful encounters.) 2- i literally have no friends. whatsoever 😭 for whatever reason, i cannot make friends. i have struggled socially after being bullied in high school, which then isolated me throughout college as collateral. one of my ex closest friends actually turned out to be a predator (he put me and various other girls on p*rn sites without consent) , and my other ex best friend dropped me as soon as university started. we had been best friends since we were 4. 3- i am taking antidepressants as i struggle with my mental health, and i have diagnosed depression and ptsd. i struggle daily with debilitating flashbacks of my physically and verbally abusive ex boyfriend, and the isolation throughout highschool/college
my question is - what would you do if you were me?!?! i am out of ideas of how i can get out of this rough patch and enjoy my life.
here’s some positives: - i have an incredible boyfriend who is loving and supportive - my dad is my best friend (limited contact however as he lives with my mum and has been in and out of hospital) - and i genuinely am friendly and kind 😭 i am open to sorting this out, and i just want to make friends. i love heavy metal, sims, makeup, horror and animals.
please if you can leave me some advice! thank you for reading :))) <3

Throwaway, because I'm trying to be as vague as possible, my boyfriend is chronically online/on Reddit and I'd hate for him to find this.
We've been together for 10 months (him: 29m me: 26f), I've been cheated on before and so has he. Everything is going so well except he's still in contact with his ex (27f), like in a friendly way. She still shares a few accounts (TV stuff) with him, and she sends him pictures of the pets they used to share, but that's all.
While at first this didn't bother me, something traumatic happened (his dad was put in the hospital. He's okay now.) about a week ago and instead of turning to me who he was in bed with, he texted her about to update her on the situation. I only caught it because I saw it flash across the screen. I called him out on it a little bit, and he said that "it's nothing and they're still friends." Because of the situation, I didn't bring it up again.
I talked to his brother about it and he said that that's strange for him to do, because apparently she put him through hell and he should know better because he risks losing me.
He has said that he loves me, but this feels like he's violating a bit of my boundaries. I'm not sure what to do, other than keep an eye on it.
Am I the asshole for feeling uncomfortable with this?

So, I'm a Latino in his 20's trying to flirt with latinas. I've been doing everything society tells me to do, I'm pretty consistent working out, I'm constantly polishing my self-esteem, working on my personal projects, got a decent job while I'm studying. Also I'm pretty good at my job, colleagues and coworkers, even, my bosses tell me I'm amazing at what I do. Also, people have told me and I think I'm handsome, besides I'm working on my self-image as well.
And still. Went into a 3-day dating app streak seeking girls and only made one match, that didn't last even a day since we found out we were completely opposite worlds!
It's probably that, 1) I don't know how to interact and flirt with people online (and in real life), I tend to speak way too much and not accordingly to the extension of what the other person is texting me, and 2) I don't know how to set a proper dating app account up. My pictures aren't that attractive, possibly.
I'm open to any advice on how to improve my online interactions, choose better pictures for my dating app profile, or any other suggestions that might help me in my dating journey. Thanks in advance for your help!

I am 27 years old and never finished high school. I dropped out of high school and got admitted to a psych ward for troubled teens due to being severely bullied and sexually/mentally abused. Anyway when I left, even though I had no qualifications, I always was positive because I always managed to get by and be content with my life due to a good family and lots of people loving me. I always kept myself busy with stuff I enjoyed and learnt to only keep people who understand me around. I didn’t care what people thought. I just enjoyed my life. I basically spent my 20s as a party girl but I took a lot of drugs and think I have now lost a lot of my intelligence. I got my own appartment in 2020 and then lockdown happened. Due to extreme loneliness I began hanging around bad people and ended up falling in love (at least I thought at the time) with a man who I now understand was a sociopath. He harmed me in ways I cannot begin to describe, but wanting him to love me so much I really cleaned my act up. I started to pursue my dream of being a nurse and drank less. He kept me safe even though he was harming me in other ways. Then he left and since then I have had a severe death wish. I’m an alcoholic, I got raped in 2022, I have spent the past few years in bed pretty much and had to withdraw from benzodiazepines while going through all of this. I met a man last year who tried to help me, but because I was so broken I could not trust him or let him in. He said I made him suicidal because of how I treated him and how toxic our relationship was. Then his dad died and he just abandoned me and now has a new girlfriend. My ego was destroyed and I acted like a total psychopath and scared both of them. Everyone thinks I’m insane and I think some people are genuinely scared of me. I don’t leave my home. I don’t own anything. No driver’s license, no work experience, no career, aging with declining fertility and nobody loves me except random people I use to feed my ego. I’m a terrible person at times but I still feel too beautiful and good to die but also too pure for this world. Life has been cruel. I am cruel, mostly to myself. I think tomorrow I’ll order a noose. I’m too far gone. I have nothing and no one and I am abused and harmed everywhere I go. Even in my ‘happy’ years I was always being harmed in some way or another. My grandad’s brother committed suicide around this time last year. He will be waiting for me and so will a couple other people/animals I’ve loved. I just want peace. I deserve peace.

Well I guess that I have to start somewhere, so why not the end! I’ve been disowned for the umpteenth time by my parents (or rather by my mum because over the years, Dad has just learned to go along with whatever she says out of duress!) This has all been as a result of my having visited them in Hay ( a 700 kilometre round trip might I add) because my Dad’s brother passed away this week and it was Mother’s Day. I thought that I’d go to show my condolences and to wish my mother and sister who also lives there a happy Mother’s Day and bring them all some hand made gifts, I’m a bit sentimental like that.
I have taken to the craft of making pebble art. The gift that I made for my mother was of an image depicting my family with my parents, my sister and I and my brother who’s passed away, as he is handing my mum a bunch of flowers. I made one for my dad depicting he and my Nan (his mother) fishing at their favourite fishing spot; my Nan passed away just last month as well and I thought it’d be a nice gesture, then I gave my sister one as well with a quote about sisters being joined by the heart.
The first day, Friday, that my husband, daughter and I came there was okay. It always is especially when I’ve not seen them for six months or more! We catch up, mum talks about her very many health conditions, she then complains a little bit about everything and everyone but it’s not over the top at this point because she and my dad are kept busy opening gifts and seemingly happy to see us! But we had decided before coming that we were going to stay in separate accommodation for the weekend with the knowledge that things with my mother usually go sour very quickly! And if we’re not having to stay at their home when it does then we can at least retain some mental stability throughout our trip! This would normally be a point in which I’d let out a bit of a chuckle or if I’m texting or writing a social media post, that I’d add the LOL at the end of that statement, simply due to the stupid realisation that unfortunately it is so very true that it’s almost comical, remembering in my mind the very many times that her very predictable unstable behaviour kicks in at around the 24 hour mark and doesn’t often dissipate until well after we’ve left if not months later! I have no clue as to why I’m still surprised by this occurrence?! Perhaps it’s because it is so unbelievably erratic and shocking to anyone that witnesses it that still even now it’s hard not only to watch unfold but to believe!
But sadly as a result of these personally flips, she lashes out in anger, she can become nasty and callous, her comments are cold and uncaring, she can become physically aggressive, and the damage done during these times can be hard to ever overcome, especially if she aims any comment or remark at you! It is during these times that you know in your soul that she has not a single care for you, not an ounce, and that the only attention or compassion shown towards you as her child or friend is one of obligation out of her need to keep up appearances with those who are still weaved in her web of “social media” deception! She wouldn’t dare lift a finger for anyone in person! But just the fact that we pre decided to obtain alternative accommodation was possibly one of the triggers I was already prepared would set her off, as we would usually choose to stay with her and dad in their spare room over crowded with belongings of the past and present, not unlike the rest of their home.
With this alone, one would see that she has an overwhelming need to retain old memories, be them bad or good. She still literally keeps every ounce of clothing I’ve ever passed on to her since well before I had children which was 27 years ago! Looking in her wardrobe, there are outfits there I remember her wearing when I was a teenager! Her bathroom still retains the $2 gifts (still in their packaging) that us kids bought for her from school Mother’s Day stalls, and the Mary Kay makeup I used to steal when I was attending high school!
Her kitchen still holds the Amway cookware she purchased for hundreds of dollars before I can remember! And to make matters worse, even some of the food in her pantry is from supermarkets no longer operating! Over the years, her hoarding has been a bit of a thorn in dad’s side, having lived a life of drifting from house to house, town to town, moving around as often as they have, having to cart it all along with them and something us kids (myself, my brother and sister) have always found funny to pick on her about, but in writing this, it is easy to see that her need to keep the past fresh in her mind and under her nose is a sickness all In itself.
Whilst we were visiting, we visited my sister in her little unit. It’s like walking back into the 70s and equally as much as a step back in time like my mother’s house! My sister has been diagnosed with schizophrenia which when first diagnosed was apparently drug induced, however; going from the lifestyle we were forced to live as the children to my parents and their lifestyle choices plus my brother and I having been diagnosed with conditions and disorders of our own, putting the puzzle pieces together as to how we’ve all accumulated mental health diagnoses isn’t that difficult taking into consideration that neither one of my parents exerted any kind of maternal instincts at all! And not even as us kids have grown and struggled through our lives, we had always been told by them that once we turned 18 we’d no longer be their “problem” anymore!
My sister’s name is Julie. She moved in with my mum and dad after one of her countless admissions to the psychiatric hospital in Bendigo, having absconded from their independent living facility which is meant to be a monitored introduction back into society after a mental health admission, but she always left before she gave the chance for them to find her accommodation that wasn’t with her abusive ex husband and 4 children.
Sitting down with her in her home, hearing all about the time she’s lived in Hay both with and near my parents, how our mum would bail her up sometimes (which had happened recently) even physically, how she’s thrown dishes at her and how she abuses her denying her food for being overweight on a daily basis… how she calls her fat and crazy… there’s literally a Myriad of abuse in all its forms being dished out to Julie, and yet, because she has nowhere else to go, like the situation my brother was in living with them on and off before he passed away (under questionable circumstances in my opinion) she has no choice but to endure it… and it saddens me to hear about it all let alone see it going on right before my eyes! Especially when the exact same denigrating comments about being useless, overweight, a waste of a life and criticism about the way she’s living her life, the choices she’s making and what she chooses to eat etc etc was also drilled into my brother by my parents and whispered to all that they spoke too for many many years before by brother lost his life.
I know through my own experience having lived with her that her poisonous mouth can lead a person to questioning your mere existence, your reason for living and remove all self esteem in a single spat with her! In 2013 I took an overdose due to a gross level of mental health issues and past trauma which I couldn’t deal with. My parents were living with us at the time and my youngest daughter exhibited some challenging behaviours… my mum found it difficult to cope with her however she made no attempt at patience or compassion and so in a fleeting moment she’s said to my daughter “if I was your mother I would’ve killed myself a long time ago!”
Wow! Just WOW! The above mentioned examples of how toxic my mother is… after only explaining to you the very tip of the iceberg in these few paragraphs, even I am second guessing writing this at all, and I’m finding it hard to fathom how I can rehash the past and get into more detail about the really bad situations! Not to mention, go into my life right from childhood until now with her and my father which is yet to come!
Writing this down, whether I share it here or not is going to be a huge journey for me that’ll take a lot of courage and open some really raw emotions… bring back old memories that I’ve suppressed and disassociated myself from… there will undoubtedly be many trigger points that I will go into which some people might become affected by, including me, but mine is a life that was, is and continues to be a challenge day in and day out… it’s something I’ve had to survive, a life and reality that I still struggle so much with but least attempt to cope with and in some way, I hope that my story will be able to shine a light on just how the importance of love, attention, affection and nurturing in our childhood really do mould the person we eventually become…

(the whole dream i am mainly watching myself) it’s all in black and white like an old movie
little girl(me) stares at her self in a puddle outside of her large white home and looks in another puddle and sees the face of another little girl (taylor swift, someone who has everything she ever wanted)
little girl walks into a white empty room where the other little girl(taylor swift) is sitting and she sits across from her they realize they are the only two who can see each other and they don’t say anything they just sit and stare at one another
suddenly they are adults now it’s my wedding, i’m dressed in white and my hair and makeup are done she’s in black with pearls, we’re running past people laughing and trying to hide to get me into a dressing room because no one could see the bride yet we walked into a bathroom where there was an older woman, she looked towards us but with no recognition and we just laughed thinking we got caught but she couldn’t see us
we finally find a empty room, it’s the same white room we were trapped in before we realized i wasn’t getting married we were still stuck we were still in that room i run out in tears out of the large white house and into the rain i scream loudly at the sky (i don’t remember what i said) maybe “i can’t do this anymore!” or “why can’t i have this?” then kept running forward through the puddles there was nothing past the half circle driveway i ran off the edge and just jumped off what looked to be a cliff
i am really curious what other peoples takes on this are.

My boyfriend has this close friend that I’m not friends with and he hangs out with her any time we’re not together. Everyone including my bf thinks she might have feelings for him and she’s even hinted at it herself. I’m extremely uncomfortable with them hanging out together alone SO often, he’ll text me while theyre together and it feels so weird. He hasnt tried to hide this from my whatsoever and its not that i dont trust him. I know hes not gonna do anything with her and doesnt have feelings for her. But this girl has overstepped my boundaries and said things that you shouldnt say to a guy you know has a gf?? i’m considering breaking up with him over this because he refuses to do anything about it. if they hung out together outside and with other friends that fine but theyre always alone at her apartment or his?? Thats so weird to me. we’e been dating for 8 months.
I mainly want opinions on if i’m just being fucking crazy and need therapy to work through this, or if this is normal to feel in these circumstances? sorry for formatting im on my phone

Stay safe out there everyone.
My girlfriend was working out at China Creek North today when a guy tried striking up conversation with her multiple times. As she moved about the park to get away from him, he began following her.
Once she realized this was the case she headed home. As she reached our place she saw him half a block up ahead (somehow?) staring at her. Luckily, her instincts kicked into overdrive and she continued on past as not to give away her address and ran to her sister’s near by.
At this point she called me and gave me his description. As she did I looked outside and guess who was still standing there..
I very sternly confronted him, trying not to snap, and scared him off. I wish I took a picture but I was too fired up to remember.
Oddly an RCMP rolled up our street 2 minutes later and I gave them all the info.
I guess this post is just meant to be a reminder to everybody to stay safe and don’t ignore your gut instincts. My girlfriend could have easily just run inside to get me but played it very smart to not give away her home address.
Description of creep:
25-35 year old brown man Slim build approx. 5’10” Dark medium length hair Scruffy short facial hair Beige long sleeve collard shirt Baggy black jeans White/beige New Balance style shoes
He kept dodging my questions and tried to give me some sob story about how it was “the worst day of his life” and something about “18 yr old girl and family or something”. But I kept cutting him off and pressing him on why the fuck he was stalking my girlfriend.
Feel free to ask any questions

Caught wife of 7 years (good friends/dating for 20). Two kids, purchased first home 4 months prior. Had the guy around my 3 year old and in the house before I knew he existed. I woke up next day and said she should leave. I would never trust her again, never stop wondering who's texting her, and that is not who i was or want to be. Thought it's better for everyone and she didn't seem entirely disappointed or fight too hard to work it out.
I suddenly had two kids 7 days a week (as she moved in with him and his parents and had no where steady for them) and a new house with 60% the income.
After stressfully losing 30 lbs in a month, I finally got my self together and around 3 or 4 months post break-up (at the urging of friend and brother) got on bumble (been with ex so long I had never dated online much).
The first girl to message me, day 1 of having the app, and we havenow been dating a year. At first I tried to stay objective and not be interested in the first person to show interest after such a volatile breakup. I can honestly say I'm as happy as I've ever been in a relationship and everyone in my life, children included love her and love our relationship. So I know not everyone is going to have the insanely dumb luck I did, but everyone should know that there isn't just one person, a sole soul mate, out there for you. And there may even be someone better
Sorry for the wordiness, but I was creeping on this sub a lot last year trying to find inspiration and sanity and direction. So I hope I can provide any of that in my first post here.

As the title suggests I find it hard to be alone for extended periods of time now because there's a disconnect between my thoughts and my emotions. I'm pretty introverted and I used to love it. I would sometimes seek being alone and entertain my own thoughts for multiple days. But now its different.
For some background I got into a relationship with one of my most trusted friends and she leveraged my trust to love bomb and emotionally manipulate me. She knew I really value commitment and seriousness in relationships so she made extremely big verbal commitments (like love and marriage talk) early on (which would have alarmed me had we not already had a close emotional connection). Then one day she just told me she wasn't ready for a relationship, cut me off and villainized me to mutual friends who no longer talk to me. It took months of me defending her to my friends to finally come to the realization that she never actually cared about me not even when we were friends. The relationship was only 2 months but the friendship was so much longer and we live in the same dormitory so I see her quite often still.
Its been 4 months since we broke up and I feel like I've moved on but things are just different now. I cant be alone, and its not because I feel lonely I still very much desire to be alone frequently. My mind just tends to default to silly stuff like what I would say if she ever reached out or wondering if I did something or hoping she recognizes what she lost and tries to reconcile our friendship (which I valued much more than our relationship). But my rational mind knows she'll never reach out again. My rational mind knows I don't trust her enough to become friends again, my rational mind forgave her for what she did and moved on. But my feelings linger and resurface whenever I'm alone for too long. I tried offering a conversation and apology twice with no expectation for one in return and both times I was berated, called immature and self-centered. I'm just confused and feel like I'm missing something. And I feel like my emotions are detached from my mind which sucks because I feel like I used to have really high emotional control and emotional intelligence. Any suggestions on what I can do? It feels kinda pathetic being so uncontrollably hooked up on a girl I only dated for 2 months.

I have been developing a crush on my coworker M/28 since I started my new job. I find his personality, extremely luring and I can’t help but have fantasies about him and I’m not sure what to do. His personality is super attractive to me and I constantly find myself laughing when I’m around him. I’ve always been a person that make me laugh and he makes my work life so much better. I’m near 18 however he keeps giving me hints that he’s interested in me but set a semi-transparent Boundary with me about my age. Although we are constantly flirting, and he gives me rides home after work (late at night). I find him, his car and his personality super attractive, in my opinion he is model level. He has multiple piercings and tattoos that make me find myself even more lustful about him. He is constantly calling me names like sweetheart, darling and everything he does rubs me the right way. He had a huge doorless jeep and listens to the exact same music I love. I hate how much I fantasize about him and I am essentially wishing this man made a move on me. I understand it is wrong but I am having such hard times resisting any urges. If he did something I don’t think i would reject it, and that unsettles me. Everything about him is my exact ideal and my brain is going crazy with how much of a gentleman he is towards me. I really don’t like how i’m feeling but it’s like I have a middle school crush that I can’t contain. I’m not able to tell my friends in fear of judgement. He is so so attractive and flirts with me every time we have the same shifts. I am a waitress and he is our cook. I love everything about him and i genuinely want to kiss him, although i know it’s Inappropriate. Every day, it gets harder and harder to resist the lust. I came on here for advice and Unbiased experiences in order to try and draw myself away. Please help me, I have only ever had one boyfriend but have never felt this digustingly about anyone before. I normally turn down any advances from people and i’m not used to wanting to chase after someone so bad, all the movements, tone of voice, actions, and comments make me want to be close to him even more. I would consider myself an extremely attractive girl, which is why i think I got the job I have now, and is why he is showing so much interest in me. Please give any negative or positive experiences/opinions you have.

I’m still relatively new here. I’m in the process writing my whole story because I want folks here to have context as I talk about my experiences. But it’s taking a long time. My first drafts are a jumbled mess that need constant editing. I think it reflects how much I got fucked up. Anyway, I want to participate, so I’m starting with this.
I’m here because it’s the only place that makes “that which did not make sense” make sense to me. I need your opinions to find out if I’m correct in my assumption that my story is a BPD scenario.
I wouldn’t allow myself to feel anger towards my (suspected) pwBPD. Not because I’m a fool, but because she’s still nice, but probably not really.
I was suddenly discarded in February. It was weird. The ostensible devaluation took place in the span of 36 hours. I couldn’t fucking believe it. But in the following weeks, despite her trying to cut me out, she was also super nice. Acted like she would listen, trying to show me that she cared and how much this sucks. But she will only listen. She refuses to talk about what happened. She tried at first because when we re-established contact, I really put the screws to her. But her responses were esoteric, contained non-sequiturs and just didn’t make sense at all. Since then, I’ve seen some anger, but she has always apologized unprompted. She continues to try to be kind even though it’s clear that she has blown the whistle on the relationship. She said initially she wanted to be friends but would understand if I didn’t. But a lot of what has followed strongly resembles push-pull; though she maintains that there’s “no chance we’re getting back together”. I don’t care anymore. I literally caught myself singing along to the Taylor Swift song last week, even though I’m not much of a fan.
So, anger. I wouldn’t let myself feel it because it felt misplaced. I directed it at myself for a while, then realized that it didn’t make sense. Then I directed it at “the sky” for a bit. Now I’m letting it land on her. When I say “land on her”, I mean in my mind. I promise I’m not saying mean things to this poor girl. She isn’t also saying any to me. If I’ve endured any abuse in this situation, it’s simply lovebombing/manipulation. I’ve yet to experience her wrath. But I know it exists. She told me stories during the “100% trust” phase that gave me a chill or two. Some of the experiences I’ve read here have taught me how ridiculously lucky I am to have not seen the flip side of the “idealization coin”.
But I am mad at her. Angry as fuck. She came after me so hard. Chased me down. Studied me. Mimicked me. Denied the mimicry. Continued to mimic after the call-out. I was fine. I had actually just recently come to peace with life after a lot of upheaval. I’m getting angrier as I come to understand that she likely sniffed that out. But I’m determined to not let it consume me. If I can reasonably confirm that this is a BPD scenario, then I would never let my anger fly at her. It would hurt the two of us, and everyone we surround ourselves with.
But I have to let myself be angry with her. Even if she’s still “sweet”. Clearly, she’s not sweet like someone who’s trying to become your lover. That part is over. But now I see a woman who is in her own head, doing the gymnastics, who is actually decent at being civil. But it’s not for me, it’s for her. I want to meet her in the middle, but since I’ve perceived that she split on me, I don’t know what to do. But independent of any advice or inspiration I’ve received over the past few months, I’ve told myself that I’m allowed to be mad at her. I can feel anything I want to feel. It’s my perfect right. As long as I don’t abuse someone, I can think my own thoughts at home.
I worry that anger is poisonous and transmits to others. I don’t want to entertain it, but at the end of the day, I have to believe I’m allowed to be mad at her.
Whatever she’s going through is hers. Since she won’t talk about what we went through together, I’m allowed to be mad. I hate that I still have compassion for her. I want to be indifferent, which is how she mostly seems to me at the moment. But for now, if I get mad at her in a moment, I let it happen. and then I let it go. A cycle of my own. Which makes me empathize with this woman whom I care about. Hopefully for not much longer.

My boyfriend and i have been together since i was 21 and he was 23. We’ve had an incident in the past where we cheated on me and i found out when i saw his phone. Recently something has been off and he’s been coming home a little later than usual. Last night i checked his phone and saw he was snapchatting a girl about a month ago and he saved he under the name “horne”. When i opened the chat there was no conversation saved so i’m not sure what they were talking about. I want to ask him about it but i don’t know if he’ll lie to me. Should i talk to him or try to find out more first?

Hi everyone!~
I'm on the hunt to find the (almost) perfect lab grown diamond for myself.
Initially, I went to a jewelry store in Huntington Beach and was quoted almost $5k for a 3k lab grown diamond.
I decided to message some jewelry stores located in the LA jewelry district and for one of them, I was quoted $3k. Not only that, even the specs are better than the one in Huntington Beach.
I'm here to ask, AM I GETTING PLAYED?! LOL I tried to do my due diligence and researched more about the LA jewelry district but every article is saying the price is more expensive there. So l'm utterly confused.
Just want advice and experience on those who shopped there.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Appreciate y'all!

We have been together since 4 years and I just saw that he commented on a post that asked : if you have the choice to save 2 what would you pick ? The options were mother , girlfriend, your kid and 20M $ , my bf picked his mom and 20M $ . I wouldn’t fuss about it if he didn’t have a history of letting me know that he would always choose money over me if he has the choice but he made it clear many times.
I understand that financial stability is important , but he doesn’t even know how to manage his money that well and borrows a lot from me (he gives it back ofc). So I don’t understand the obsession over money. I’ve asked him sometimes if he would be willing to lose me forever for 10 000 $ and he replies yes. I try to tell him that it’s a bit hurtful and weird in my opinion it’s so toxic . but he claps back saying that I never worked once in my life and that I wouldn’t understand.
It’s true we come from a different background thankfully my parents help me a lot . Him on the other hand he has to work to take care of himself and also his family back in is hometown. I try to be really understanding but it doesn’t make sense to me to be able to put money before a person who truly loves and support you . Money comes and goes right? If you lose some u can always gain it back but a genuine partner who loves you is so special nowadays and I feel like he doesn’t really see how lucky he is to be with me ( in the most humble way possible btw) .
He recently got a job at Sephora as a security agent. I was a bit nervous about it because he will be surrounded by women and he hasn’t always been honest about stuff. But I didn’t cause an argument and I accepted his choice and recently he told me that he needs to go back to his house and that he can’t live with me anymore because the Sephora shop is closer to his house. I got mad because he didn’t tell me about it sooner . Hell we were at the restaurant yesterday he talked about it he saw that my mood was shifting a bit so he said that he’s joking and that he won’t leave . As soon as we arrived home he came and told me that he needs to leave and I was so confused it didn’t sit right with me the whole process of letting me know about it. I got mad and again he called me selfish and told me that I wouldn’t understand cause I don’t have a family to take care of . I don’t know what do do anymore this makes me question everything. Is it normal to prioritize money that much?
TL;DR: My boyfriend commented on a post asking which two he’d save: mother, girlfriend , kid, or $20M. He chose his mom and the money. He has a history of saying he’d choose money over me, which hurts since he often borrows from me. I understand his financial background is different from mine, but his obsession with money feels toxic. He recently got a job at Sephora and decided to move back home without properly discussing it with me, saying it’s closer to work. This, along with his dismissive attitude towards my feelings, makes me question our relationship and whether it’s normal to prioritize money this much.

Well I guess that I have to start somewhere, so why not the end! I’ve been disowned for the umpteenth time by my parents (or rather by my mum because over the years, Dad has just learned to go along with whatever she says out of duress!) This has all been as a result of my having visited them in Hay ( a 700 kilometre round trip might I add) because my Dad’s brother passed away this week and it was Mother’s Day. I thought that I’d go to show my condolences and to wish my mother and sister who also lives there a happy Mother’s Day and bring them all some hand made gifts, I’m a bit sentimental like that.
I have taken to the craft of making pebble art. The gift that I made for my mother was of an image depicting my family with my parents, my sister and I and my brother who’s passed away, as he is handing my mum a bunch of flowers. I made one for my dad depicting he and my Nan (his mother) fishing at their favourite fishing spot; my Nan passed away just last month as well and I thought it’d be a nice gesture, then I gave my sister one as well with a quote about sisters being joined by the heart.
The first day, Friday, that my husband, daughter and I came there was okay. It always is especially when I’ve not seen them for six months or more! We catch up, mum talks about her very many health conditions, she then complains a little bit about everything and everyone but it’s not over the top at this point because she and my dad are kept busy opening gifts and seemingly happy to see us! But we had decided before coming that we were going to stay in separate accommodation for the weekend with the knowledge that things with my mother usually go sour very quickly! And if we’re not having to stay at their home when it does then we can at least retain some mental stability throughout our trip! This would normally be a point in which I’d let out a bit of a chuckle or if I’m texting or writing a social media post, that I’d add the LOL at the end of that statement, simply due to the stupid realisation that unfortunately it is so very true that it’s almost comical, remembering in my mind the very many times that her very predictable unstable behaviour kicks in at around the 24 hour mark and doesn’t often dissipate until well after we’ve left if not months later! I have no clue as to why I’m still surprised by this occurrence?! Perhaps it’s because it is so unbelievably erratic and shocking to anyone that witnesses it that still even now it’s hard not only to watch unfold but to believe!
But sadly as a result of these personally flips, she lashes out in anger, she can become nasty and callous, her comments are cold and uncaring, she can become physically aggressive, and the damage done during these times can be hard to ever overcome, especially if she aims any comment or remark at you! It is during these times that you know in your soul that she has not a single care for you, not an ounce, and that the only attention or compassion shown towards you as her child or friend is one of obligation out of her need to keep up appearances with those who are still weaved in her web of “social media” deception! She wouldn’t dare lift a finger for anyone in person! But just the fact that we pre decided to obtain alternative accommodation was possibly one of the triggers I was already prepared would set her off, as we would usually choose to stay with her and dad in their spare room over crowded with belongings of the past and present, not unlike the rest of their home.
With this alone, one would see that she has an overwhelming need to retain old memories, be them bad or good. She still literally keeps every ounce of clothing I’ve ever passed on to her since well before I had children which was 27 years ago! Looking in her wardrobe, there are outfits there I remember her wearing when I was a teenager! Her bathroom still retains the $2 gifts (still in their packaging) that us kids bought for her from school Mother’s Day stalls, and the Mary Kay makeup I used to steal when I was attending high school!
Her kitchen still holds the Amway cookware she purchased for hundreds of dollars before I can remember! And to make matters worse, even some of the food in her pantry is from supermarkets no longer operating! Over the years, her hoarding has been a bit of a thorn in dad’s side, having lived a life of drifting from house to house, town to town, moving around as often as they have, having to cart it all along with them and something us kids (myself, my brother and sister) have always found funny to pick on her about, but in writing this, it is easy to see that her need to keep the past fresh in her mind and under her nose is a sickness all In itself.
Whilst we were visiting, we visited my sister in her little unit. It’s like walking back into the 70s and equally as much as a step back in time like my mother’s house! My sister has been diagnosed with schizophrenia which when first diagnosed was apparently drug induced, however; going from the lifestyle we were forced to live as the children to my parents and their lifestyle choices plus my brother and I having been diagnosed with conditions and disorders of our own, putting the puzzle pieces together as to how we’ve all accumulated mental health diagnoses isn’t that difficult taking into consideration that neither one of my parents exerted any kind of maternal instincts at all! And not even as us kids have grown and struggled through our lives, we had always been told by them that once we turned 18 we’d no longer be their “problem” anymore!
My sister’s name is Julie. She moved in with my mum and dad after one of her countless admissions to the psychiatric hospital in Bendigo, having absconded from their independent living facility which is meant to be a monitored introduction back into society after a mental health admission, but she always left before she gave the chance for them to find her accommodation that wasn’t with her abusive ex husband and 4 children.
Sitting down with her in her home, hearing all about the time she’s lived in Hay both with and near my parents, how our mum would bail her up sometimes (which had happened recently) even physically, how she’s thrown dishes at her and how she abuses her denying her food for being overweight on a daily basis… how she calls her fat and crazy… there’s literally a Myriad of abuse in all its forms being dished out to Julie, and yet, because she has nowhere else to go, like the situation my brother was in living with them on and off before he passed away (under questionable circumstances in my opinion) she has no choice but to endure it… and it saddens me to hear about it all let alone see it going on right before my eyes! Especially when the exact same denigrating comments about being useless, overweight, a waste of a life and criticism about the way she’s living her life, the choices she’s making and what she chooses to eat etc etc was also drilled into my brother by my parents and whispered to all that they spoke too for many many years before by brother lost his life.
I know through my own experience having lived with her that her poisonous mouth can lead a person to questioning your mere existence, your reason for living and remove all self esteem in a single spat with her! In 2013 I took an overdose due to a gross level of mental health issues and past trauma which I couldn’t deal with. My parents were living with us at the time and my youngest daughter exhibited some challenging behaviours… my mum found it difficult to cope with her however she made no attempt at patience or compassion and so in a fleeting moment she’s said to my daughter “if I was your mother I would’ve killed myself a long time ago!”
Wow! Just WOW! The above mentioned examples of how toxic my mother is… after only explaining to you the very tip of the iceberg in these few paragraphs, even I am second guessing writing this at all, and I’m finding it hard to fathom how I can rehash the past and get into more detail about the really bad situations! Not to mention, go into my life right from childhood until now with her and my father which is yet to come!
Writing this down, whether I share it here or not is going to be a huge journey for me that’ll take a lot of courage and open some really raw emotions… bring back old memories that I’ve suppressed and disassociated myself from… there will undoubtedly be many trigger points that I will go into which some people might become affected by, including me, but mine is a life that was, is and continues to be a challenge day in and day out… it’s something I’ve had to survive, a life and reality that I still struggle so much with but least attempt to cope with and in some way, I hope that my story will be able to shine a light on just how the importance of love, attention, affection and nurturing in our childhood really do mould the person we eventually become…