Mom and son incest

I, 26F have a 6 m/o son with my ex, 31M, of 1 month. I know what you may be thinking, and yes, you read it right. Before my son, I was a hopeless romantic and I accepted love in all the wrong places. When I broke up with my ex and soon after found out I was pregnant, I learned my lesson about having relations and being too trusting of people I barely know. I have been single and focusing on taking care of my son ever since. A little background on the history of my ex and I:
We met on social media last year and he texted me first with a line that I’ve never heard from anyone, it made me laugh, so thought I would give him a chance. He said all the right things to me, and lied about so much (for example, he lied about having a twin sister and she’s the same age as me) and I fell for it. We ended up meeting in person, he told me he loved me after a week or so of being together (major red flag that I ignored) and that was the very night I conceived my son. Shortly afterwards, I found out he was cheating on me and he stole money from me. Then about a month later, I found out I was pregnant and when I told him he was excited at first.
We kept a line of communication, but he made most of my pregnancy stressful. He denied my child and told people that I was pregnant when we met, we only had sex once (we didn’t but IF WE DID, the dummy doesn’t realize it only takes one time to get pregnant), and that we were never in a relationship. In the same breath he was trying to cheat on his several girlfriends with me, but I wasn’t having it. I would also notify him of appointments to check on the baby and he would say he’ll come and ended up being a no show. I tried to keep him updated on the baby and he would say I didn’t. He had me involved in so much drama and I eventually found out he had two other women pregnant at the same time as me (he denies getting one of those two pregnant but I know he’s lying). It was just too much. Eventually we went no contact and shortly after, he went to jail. He stayed for the better half of the pregnancy and for about the first month him being incarcerated, we got back in contact with each other again and he tried to make me do favors for him that I wasn’t comfortable doing because it would start drama or I just wasn’t obligated to do and this became a huge problem for him since I was not doing what he wanted. It turned into an argument and he told me not contact him again, so I told him he wouldn’t hear from me again and blocked him. For months he had strangers texting me on his behalf asking me to contact him because he felt remorseful. I blocked those numbers as well because I didn’t want to stress anymore during the rest of my pregnancy than I already have. Long story short, we were in contact on and off and he eventually was released from jail. He didn’t attend the birth of the baby because I didn’t want him there. I wanted to have a peaceful labor and delivery.
After my son’s birth, he was asking to see him but I didn’t want him anywhere near us. My mom made me change my mind by telling me that I should let him see the baby because I don’t want to give him the chance to say that I never let my son see him if he were to ask in the future why he couldn’t come around him. To this day, he has not physically seen my son since he was born and has only helped once with him financially. He’s only seen him via FaceTime and after a month of my son being born, he went back to jail for violating his probation. Ever since, we have been on and off with communication. He always tries to get back in a relationship with me, even when I have told him no several times (and he knows why but expects me to get over him treating me like shit when I was pregnant), flirts with me and calls me “bae” even after I would tell him to stop. We still fight from time to time and he always goes out of his way to disrespect me. So now I don’t answer when he calls unless the baby is awake and he says things to me like “when I call, you need to answer” and “don’t let anyone keep you away from me”. I don’t want to talk to him unless it’s about our son, I’ve made this clear to him several times and he blatantly dismisses it and gets angry because he can’t get any control over me. He doesn’t respect me or my wishes and I don’t want to deal with it any longer, but I don’t want to deny my son of his father. I feel like he thinks he has some kind of sense of ownership over me because I have his child and it doesn’t sit well with me at all.
Would I be the asshole if I stopped contacting him because he makes me feel uncomfortable?

I (22m) am the youngest of my siblings. My oldest sister Casey (31f) is my hero. She has done so much for me and the rest of our siblings (23f, 25m and 26f) and they never acknowledge it and only talk about Casey being a bitch to our mom or saying she should be pulling her weight more when it comes to mom.
Background on our childhood is probably relevant here: Casey never really had a parent. Our parents were both shitty people and our father was in and out of prison. Our mother was super hard on Casey and treated her like shit. Casey is also the kid who looks most like our father. Our mother was never kind or caring toward Casey but she wanted her to be those things for us, so she pushed our mother to take care of us and would be there in the background trying to make it happen. But Casey was often left doing a lot too. She walked us all to school when we were little, she didn't hang out with friends because she was babysitting or taking care of us. Casey's birthday was forgotten for years and it was pretty much every year until I wrote it down and made sure I brought it up so she'd be celebrated. The rest of our birthdays were celebrated because Casey wrote it down for our mother. She knew it was pointless doing it for herself because our mother hated her.
Casey got a part time job when she was 14 and would help pay for stuff. She saved up to go to prom and spent all the money on us because our mother had none at the time. She didn't go to prom. Instead she worked that night for more money.
I always saw it. My siblings always saw our mother as their hero and would get mad at Casey for fighting with mother. They saw our mother as the greatest. And she treated us better generally than Casey but the only reason she was involved with us was because of Casey.
So for Mother's Day this year my siblings all wanted to do this big celebration of our mother because she was diagnosed with chronic liver disease and they fear she won't be around much longer. Casey wanted no part in it. My other siblings were pissed. I told them Casey owed our mother nothing and they fought with me. It was a huge deal and when Casey didn't show up on Mother's Day it set them off. I wasn't there either and I chose to go to Casey's and celebrate with her and my BIL and their kids. My other siblings were being so shitty to Casey in our group chat so I told them they should be more understanding after all Casey had done for us, and I listed examples, and given the fact our mother treated her like shit, and I listed examples. I told them Casey was more deserving of our Mother's Day celebrations and not mother.
They called me a bad son and a bad brother and said I was sick just like Casey.
AITA?

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/user posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 5th May 2024
Update - 6th May 2024
​
1 New Update
Thanks to u/Small-Bodybuilder160 for finding the update
Final Update - 10th May 2024
​
AITAH for passing out during a family gathering meant to introduce our new baby?
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So, recently I(27F) had a beautiful baby girl with my husband(29M). She's my pride and joy, I love her more than I love myself. But, taking care of her has taken its toll on me. My husband promised the work would be 50/50 when we agreed we wanted children, but I don't feel that's being reflected by his actions this past month.
It's gotten to the point where I can't even ask him to wash her up without him saying something along the lines of, "My paternity leave is short, I want to make the most of it by relaxing a bit. I'll help you out later." And I get it. His paternity leave is only 6 weeks while mine is 16 weeks, but my nether regions hurt like a bitch for a better part of two weeks after the birth and all he could do for me was occasionally burp her.
Now, my baby girl has gotten to a phase where she doesn't want to sleep. She'll sleep for an hour, but then she's up and back to crying and I have to get up and try to soothe her. It's been happening for a week now and I've gotten so little sleep that I'm nodding off while eating or doing tge laundry and stuff. Saturday was the month anniversary of my daughter's birth, so I decided to gather both sides of the family to meet her. (They hadn't met her prior because a)I wanted to rest as much as I could and b)I heard somewhere that you shouldn't be taking babies out and about when they're fresh out the womb cause they're more prone to illness then).
So, we had this gathering at my mother's house and all was well. Everyone was cooing over our baby, there was food, people were catching up or meeting for the 1st time. It was nice. But, I had gotten about 3 hours(generous estimate) of sleep in total the past week and I was starting to feel the effects of it. I was feeling lightheaded and clammy, but I didn't wanna make a scene so I tried to go to a bedroom to lie down. I didn't take 10 steps before my vision completely blacked out.
I wasn't down for long, but I had fallen over which drew some attention. I explained to everyone who was concerned that I was fine and that I was just not getting enough sleep and I could see my husband visibly frown at that. They gave me some of the dessert my aunt made to get my sugar up and the party continued. I felt embarrassed about the whole thing, especially since everyone was still looking over me til we left, but it's whatever
What bothered me is my husband's reaction. When we got home, he started going off on me about how I "made him look bad" and like "he wasn't taking care of me". I was confused on how tf me passing out made HIM look bad, but he refused to explain himself and had a pity party for himself in the kitchen.
I was still feeling bad, so I decided to leave him alone and just to go sleep, but he seems to have taken that as a sign that I don't care about his feelings. He's in my ear this morning about how I just ignored him to go sleep last night and how I didn't even put the baby to sleep before leaving. Is he right? AITAH here?
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Update: So I've tried talking with him, but he's been ignoring me and the baby the last three hours. I'd usually wait longer, but I'm just too tired to deal with this right now. You guys were right, I do need help with this, and he's made it very clear he's not ready to help me yet, so I'm just going to go to my mom's place. I'm currently packing. I'm so done.
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Comments
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sophie_Mal
NTA and I can’t call your husband the names I want to because my comment will be deleted.
Paternity leave isn’t a time to relax, it’s a time you’re helping raise the baby and spending time together as a family. CLEARLY he is not doing either of these things as A. You’d be better rested and B. He’d have noticed you’re exhausted.
You passing out made him look bad because it was clear to everyone that you’re being left to raising your baby alone. It’s clearly not a partnership and the AH you’re married to is turning it onto you to shift responsibility and blame.
You need to seriously reconsider the relationships future and bring this up with him as it all comes down to him and his behaviour. If he gets his shit together, then things will be much better. But if he doesn’t, you and your daughter deserve so much better.
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awaythrowers97
He doesn't know what "paternity leave" is and doesn't really want to take care of his family. Sadly, you can't seem to shake that loser.
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ArticleOld598
This deadbeat of a father and husband is using his 6 weeks to laze around instead of using it taking care of his wife & child.
OP you said you love your baby more than yourself, would you want to let her grow up and think that it's normal for wives to push themselves while they're sleepless and in pain until they faint & husbands to berate them instead of worrying & taking care of them?
Tell your parents that your husband doesn't help you at all & blamed you for "making him look bad". You know what else makes him look bad? Being a deadbeat father and partner.
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**Judgement - NTA*\*
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Update - 1 day later
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Hi all, your comments were really helpful, so thank you!
Yesterday, before I could Uber to my mom's house, my sister offered to help me, so I'm staying with her instead. She's taking PTA to help me out with my girl, which I'm very grateful for. She also gave me sleep medicine that knocked me out for hours (I'm not sure if that was a good idea or not, but I slept long and well so I don't care.)
I woke up a few hours ago to tons, and I mean TONS, of messages from my husband. Like, the little app icon had 99+ on it. Here are some of the things he said(copy pasted):
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• You cant just up and fucking leve with my baby
• Come back now pls let's talk abt it
• Your actually so fuvking immature wth is wrong with you we have one argument and you fucking pretend like I've been beating you why the hell did you leave????
• We can work this out like adults yet your choosing to be difficult like a little bitch
• Pls just come back we will talk and sort this out and we can go back to being happy so come back
• I miss my baby girl you can't just take her away
• What if I call the police for kidnapping??? Would that teach you wat your doing is wrong???

​
I would screenshot, but it says this community doesnt allow attachments, so i can't. And I know it's a bit weird to tell yall what he's been texting me, but I'm mad right now and this feels therapeutic lol. I already sent the screenshots to his mom though!
As for my baby, I have an appointment to a paediatrician for Wednesday, but for now she's on formula since my breast milk quality isn't the best for understandable reasons. My sister said she wasn't as fussy as I described, so I really think the problem is with my milk. That or my sister wanted to make me feel better for sleeping, who knows. I'll wait for the doctor's opinion.
I'm not feeling 100% but I feel a whole lot more better than before. Thank you to everyone who showed concern! I think this will be the last update since I wanna not think too much about my husband rn.
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Comments
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ZombieJoesBasement
I am sooo glad you left and got some help and rest. You definitely need and deserve it.
I still can't get over your husband's mental gymnastics here. He hasn't been a parent, hasn't helped you at all, and hasn't really spent any time caring for his daughter and only cares about what other people (besides you) think, but "misses his baby girl" and wants you to come back "so we can go back to being happy"?! Sounds like the only person who was happy was him--he got a 6 week vacation and didn't have to lift a finger. Let me guess-you were doing all the cooking and cleaning on top of caring for the baby? From what he is texting you, he thinks he did nothing wrong. He is being deliberately obtuse.
To add insult to injury he calls you a bitch and threatens you with the cops. Lovely. He is a real peach.
I really want to know what his mom has to say. Does she know he was mad at you for passing out?
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Efficient-Cupcake247
Because it isn't about love. It is about control and image. Please keep strong. You have done a fabulous job doing what you need to for you and baby. Best wishes
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blehguardian
To be clear, kidnapping is not involved. Until a custody agreement is submitted to the court, either married parent is legally permitted to take their child for any reason.
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Aggravating-Pipe-903
Damn, this dude is crazy. Hopefully next update it’ll be ex-husband
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**New Updates*\*
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AITAH for passing out during a family gathering meant to introduce our new baby? LAST UPDATE - 4 days later
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For all of you who wanted to know what his mother's reaction was, she yelled at him and he made that my problem. The things he's messaged me are vile. And even though MIL was mad at him and KNOWS what he's been saying to me, she still insisted that I go visit him face to face so we can work things out.
I don't really blame her. He's her son, of course she'd still want to help him, but still....With all the ways he's been threatening me and cussing me out, I really didnt want to see him, but I decided to go. Mostly because I needed the stuff that I left at our house.
I went with my sister for safety, obviously. We got there and he played with our baby, he offered to feed her (she wasn't hungry), just acting completely different from the man texting me about how much of a "heartless bitch" I am. I didn't really feel comfortable having him near me or the baby with how violent his texts were, but she's still his baby. I don't think the courts would favour him after I show his texts, but I thought I should rather be safe and allow him some form of contact before going to court. This was a mistake.
At the end of the visit, I decided I should go pack my stuff, since that was one of the only reason I agreed to come. But, I didn't feel comfortable not being there while he had my baby. Yeah, my sister was there and I trust her, but I'd rather watch her with my own eyes. So, my sister went upstairs to pack for me. As soon as she was gone, he started talking about "See? I'm good now I can take care of her." And other stuff but that wasn't the problem. Even if he became super dad, I wouldn't be able to see him the same. Not after all those messages he sent me.
I told him that and he got pissed at me. I was getting worried since my daughter was still in his arms, so I tried to deescalate his feelings. It didn't work and he started yelling at me for "being heartless" and "stubborn" and whatnot. I wasn't really focused on what he was saying, I was focused on my baby. I tried to reach out for her and he shoved me hard enough to fall back. My sister came down and tried to help, but he shoved her away too and ran to the guest room and locked himself and MY BABY in there. He refused to come out unless my sister left and i stayed behind. I can't tell y'all how scary it is to not know what's happening to your child.
It took officers almost 30 minutes to get him out, which pissed me off. Like I know they were probably trying to assess the danger or whatever but I just wanted my baby. In that 30 minute window he could've shaken her or threw her out the window or something and they were there asking him to come out like he was a child and not breaking down the door. She was fine, though, so I can't be too mad.
They didn't arrest him since "no harm was done" even though my sister and I have bruises to prove otherwise, but they held him outside while I packed my stuff. It actually bothers me that they didn't at least detain him, but there's not much I can do about it now. I don't think I'm going to go near him again. Not with my baby. I'm thinking of going to apply for that emergency custody thing yall were talking about.
This happened on Wednesday and I'm still shaken. It's really depressing, for a lack of better word, seeing how much he's changed. I really loved him and I felt he loved me too. How he's acting is crushing me. I feel deflated. My baby girl and my sister are really the only things keeping me going right now.
I'm sorry for the wall of text, it's just that texting this all out helps me feel better. But, I don't think I want to continue updating. Just know that we're splitting up. Thank you all for your support!!
Extra: after visiting the doctor, I've decided to just skip the hassle and formula feed. She seems happier with formula anyways.
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Comments
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JanetInSpain
OMG document everything. Take pictures of the bruises. Go see a doctor and tell the doctor you just need things documented to protect yourself and your baby. File a police report for assault and both you and your sister write detailed statements of everything that happened. Then apply for emergency custody.
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georgiajl38
Go to the police station and file a report for assault. Screw those cops. They didn't have to take him but the assault report should have definitely been filed. Get in front of a magistrate asap!!!
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Hi. Me and my boyfriend have a 7 month old son he’s amazing. I used to love his family a lot while I was pregnant they were lovely, I didn’t really see them much before I was pregnant. The other day me and my boyfriend got into a atguement as I found out that he’s been misbehaving and took a girl to his mums house his mom said he had no clue she was on holiday I know she was as I Remeber her going.
Anyone we got into a massive arguement because obviously he cheated on me while I was pregnant, his mom was saying how I need sectioning because of how upset I am and how she’s gonna call social services because I’m erratic. Bearing in mind, I wasn’t. I was heartbroken finding out my boyfriend was cheating while pregnant. She then tried to turn my mom against me saying that I’ve been speaking about her when I really haven’t?
The family have a reputation of being compulsive liars and at the start they were so nice so I didn’t see it. His mom started yelling at me in my OWN home saying I’m crazy for believing these women. Bearing in mind I have proof. Our son was at my mom’s at this point. She also swears at my 7 month old. I also found out she beat up one of my boyfriend’s ex’s.Bearing in mind she was same age as me 22.
Then I receive a text from his sister saying ‘Can you stop ignoring my mom she’s been trying to make plans to see her grandson but you haven’t answered anything and keep cancelling, call her’ Bearing in mind she has NOT once called me , I’ve not cancelled on her either or anyone. I feel ganged up on a lot. She also said I’m always with my mom. Maybe because that’s my mom and she helps me, his family just smoke in the house and leave him in the chair then I have to go and take him home as he just seems sad.
They also ONLY contact me regarding my son having a go at me wondering why I haven’t taken him there, but I don’t drive. They also tried to force me to wean him when I wasn’t ready he was only 3 months. AITAH for being distant, I’m just quite annoyed recently.

BRAVO

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• Jax Taylor Says ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Stars Coming Over to ‘The Valley’ Is a ‘Hard No’: ‘It Isn’t Fair’ (US Weekly)
• Jax Taylor Gives His Honest Take on the Toms’ New Girlfriends: “She Could Be My Daughter” (Bravo)
• Kristen Doute clarifies her ‘The Valley’ reunion remarks: ‘We haven’t been told’ anything (NY Post exclusive)
• Kristen Doute Compares Jesse Lally to 'Vanderpump Rules' Jax Taylor (Collider)
• Lisa Vanderpump Says Gordon Ramsay Has ‘Met His Match’ in Her! (Extra exclusive)
• Summer House’s Jesse Solomon Says He ‘Doesn’t Regret’ Flirting With Paige DeSorbo (Life & Style exclusive)
• 'Summer House' Season Finale Watch Party Hosted By The Boro In Tysons (Patch)
• How Summer House: Martha's Vineyard's Jasmine Cooper Found Support as a New Mom (E! exclusive)
• Vanderpump Rules snubbed from NBC Upfronts as Seth Meyers slams Tom Sandoval in harsh diss after cancellation rumors (The Sun U.S. exclusive)

NEW JERSEY

• Margaret Josephs Dishes on Teresa Giudice Fallout: "She's Obsessed with Me" (Bravo)
• Margaret Josephs Calls RHONJ Star Jackie Goldschneider ‘a Disappointment’ (Heavy)
• Joe Gorga Claims RHONJ Cast is Getting “Punished” Amid Leak Allegations Involving Teresa and Jen, as Melissa Shades Teresa and Jennifer’s Behavior as “Gross” (Reality Blurb)

ORANGE COUNTY

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NEW YORK

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BEVERLY HILLS

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AFRICAN FRANCHISES

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Links to this week's episode discussion posts:

• RHONJ S14E2 🍝
• Summer House S8E12 ☀️

I was reading a story in instagram. Basically the story was that the MIL invited her daughter, her son and her DIL to dinner then after the dinner told the DIL to go wash all the dishes because apparently her leg hurt and her daughter was pregnant so there was no one else to do it. DIL got mad and left to go to her mom's home and is not coming back unless they apologize.
Everyone was taking MIL's side and I decided to point out that her son is not disabled and doing housework is likely not to kill him. A guy answered me.
guy: Her son is probably tired after work so they should let him rest not ask him to wash the dishes.
me: Do you think women don't work or they don't get tired from work?
guy: The MIL did not mention in the story that the DIL has a job so she doesn't have a job.
me: The MIL also didn't mention that her son has a job, so he doesn't have job. Such a weird family, all unemployed right?
guy: The researches show that 60% of women don't have a job so your argument is ridiculous.
me: can you send me the link for that researches? That is if you didn't get that information out of your ass of course
guy: You are being unnecessarily rude so eventhough I do have a link I won't send it to you because I don't talk to rude people
me: Ok sure honey let's pretend you do know a research Lmao
guy: You are such an asshole
then he blocked me. Was I really the asshole here? my friends think I am.

I've been searching for this one for a long time and posted about it on almost every sub reddit
The story kicks off with the son bringing in a friend or a bully or a neighbour am not sure which one but he is not so happy about him coming home.
The story skips and they have finner and after that the son goes to sleep and the mother enters the bath soon after the other boy comes it when the mom is shocked the boy let's the mother know that he always showers with his mom and tells her it's fine the mother guesses its alright and let's him in
He helps the mom rub her back and starts rubbing her tits and the mom is like I can do that by my self but the boy continues and leads to hang her..
Please help me find this I've possibly searched everywhere

Dude ....
This hits really hard. My friend and I had grown apart when her drug addiction and alcoholism became too much to handle. We went from being as close as sisters to not talking for years. I didn't hate her or anything....but after a while i realized I couldn't help her....and she was dragging me down. So i focused on my life and left her up to God.
One day I got a call. She was pregnant and trying to get her bf at the time a job. I came out and was so happy to see she'd gotten clean, went back to school...not only did she get her GED but she even went to and graduated college! I was so proud of her. Things didn't work out with her and the bf, but they stayed amicable for the boy.
A year after her son was born I had a son of my own. She gave me a bunch of stuff he'd grown out of. We still didn't talk much but kept up on FB. I was so happy she finally got her life together for her son.
A few days ago her mother posted a pic of the lil guy in his soccer gear. I said "look at the little foot ball star!" In fact I've been thinking about entering my son into sports but with his autism i have to find the right place.
Then today I'm doing my morning potty scroll through my feed....and my friend's mom posted a memorial for her grandson! He was only 5! He died right before mother's day! Wtf.... just wtf....
Please anyone out there pray for my friend and her family. Please pray that she doesn't relapse from this. I feel like I'm not just mourning this little boy....but the happiness and peace he brought to her life...she had a hard life and deserves peace and happiness, only for it to be ripped out from under her.
I'm holding my son extra tight today...

https://www.sentinelandenterprise.com/2024/05/14/student-takes-skate-park-project-to-city-hall/
Graduating senior classman Nate Comerford met with Mayor Sam Squailia at City Hall recently to propose a renovation to the Ryan C. Joubert Memorial Skate Park, a proposal created as part of Comerford’s senior project at the Sizer School.
At Sizer School, a North Central Charter Essential School, students must complete a research passion project in order to graduate. These projects demonstrate the student’s ability to research, plan, analyze, engage, and reflect on their learning.
“I live by the skate park,” said Comerford. “I wanted to find a way to modernize it, it is falling apart, and this is where my friends and I skate at.”
The Ryan C. Joubert Memorial Skate Park was built 20 years ago in honor of Ryan Joubert, a young skateboarder, who died at the age of 16 in a 2000 car accident.
In April 2001, friends, and family of Joubert came together to establish the Ryan C. Joubert Memorial Foundation. Thanks to the generosity of many individuals and a collaboration with Fitchburg city officials, they broke ground on June 2, 2002 (Ryan’s 18th birthday).
When Comerford set out to complete his senior project on skate park design, his research connected him to the Joubert family.
“I contacted Ryan’s mom regarding this project, and she was excited to explore how they could modernize the skateboard park to keep Ryan’s memory alive by making it a continued destination for skateboarders,” said Comerford.
Joubert’s mother also shared with Comerford how the original park design had been inspired by some drawings that they found in their son’s room.
To get some insights into park design, Comerford also worked on his project with world-renowned skate park designer Charlie Wilkins.
Born and raised in Massachusetts, Wilkins became a professional skateboarder in 1996 and helped pioneer the Boston skateboarding scene.
“Charlie helped with the skatepark’s design 20 years ago,” Comerford said. “I am excited that he has been helping me with the redesign.”
During his meeting with Mayor Squailia, she shared with him her own memories and connections to the Joubert family.
“I talked to the mayor about my ideas, and she was super receptive to it,” Comerford said. “I was happy that she was so responsive and open about my ideas.”
Comerford will be sharing his entire senior project during Sizer’s Senior Project Exhibition Night on Wednesday.

So I 26F have always known my parents weren’t really big into sharing our accomplishments on Facebook. My mom used to anxiously ask if we knew that they were proud of us because she’d see my friends’ parents always post about in high school, but my mom felt weird “bragging about us.”
Well, as I’ve become an adult, I’ve realized my dad actually posts about my brother and sister fairly often and me not at all. Both got married in the last 4 years, so I know they’ve had bigger accomplishments and big life events mean big congratulations and that’s post worthy, but it’s kind of getting painful. Im the only one that lives in the same town as my parents, and he posts pictures from traveling down to see my little brother and sister in law all the time. I actually think he’s probably spent more time with them in the last year than I have and it’s just embarrassing. I recently got accepted into a nursing program in university. I was really excited and telling people because I was proud of myself for refocusing on my goal. When I went to visit my brother and told him about school, he started kind of grilling me on the program and what it meant, then told me five different ways that I wasn’t really in nursing school, don’t get so ahead of myself, don’t tell people that. I was baffled and didn’t understand why he was being so negative or why he cared so much. Then two days later my dad posted a celebration dinner picture with my brother with a caption about how proud he was of his son for getting accepted into nursing school…
I kind of mentally broke and went through both of my parents Facebook and realized neither of them have posted about me or mentioned me or anything I was doing in over 4 years. My dad even forgot to post for my birthday but remembered my brothers wife. He also made sure to hit her with “I’m proud to have you as my daughter in law.” And I just feel kind of choked because I don’t think I can remember the last time I heard anyone say they were proud of me. I tried to call my sister to talk to her about everything but she was busy and couldn’t talk. I just kind of went cold. Deleted my Facebook, sent my mom a happy Mother’s Day text but spent the day home alone. Before I went to work. It just occurred to me that might be a less embarrassing explanation for why. “No no, they’re super proud of me, I just don’t have a facebook so, you know.”
The most embarrassing thing to me that they actually won’t notice because they won’t be tagging my name in anything anyways. I feel like I can’t talk to them about it because how does that conversation even look? I remember when we were kids, my dad once gave me shit for always keeping score, and noticing when someone else got more than me. And ever since he pointed that out I never forgot it and have hated that about myself. I hate that I notice and I hate that it hurts my feelings. I’ve tried to not notice, but every time he takes my brother or sister and their spouses skiing, or out to dinner, or shopping as a special occasion because he’s in town again, I just don’t feel good. And I don’t know how to say it without him hearing me as a soiled little baby who noticed that someone else got an extra piece of candy and had to bitch about it.
Any advice would be appreciated. Should I talk to my mom about this? It’s been hurting me and I don’t know what to do

My mom and dad moved into their home in California in 1979. They divorced in 1983. Mom got the house. She remarried in 1989. She divorced husband number two in 2002. She again got the house in the settlement. In 2007, ex-husband (Bill) moved back in. They never remarried and lived platonically. Around 2010, my sister paid off the remaining mortgage on the house and my mother made her half owner. Ex husband never paid rent, but did pay utilities and groceries. Utilities were in his name. He’s now 89 and infirm. My 81 year old mother can’t care for him anymore and has had a rough last few years trying. He has three sons. They hadn’t spoken to Bill in several years, but came back into the picture when palliative care asked them to become POA over Bill. They did so, and apparently thought he would have more money saved up (he only has about 20K from a 200K inheritance he got when his mom died 15 years ago) and are accusing my mom of stealing it. They also say the house is partially Bill’s and they will sue. They are also refusing to pay for housing for him, so he’s stuck in my mom’s house getting sicker and weaker. I’ve googled that there is no common law marriage in California. But do they have a case?

My brother Miles lost his wife Sarah 4 years ago. He has a son, Eric, 11. Miles married his wife Josie about 18 months ago. And yes, she’s trying the whole “second mom” thing. Eric is in grief therapy and Miles is being better about pushing Josie on Eric than he could be but he also hasn’t been as respectful of the fact that Eric doesn’t see her as a mother as he could be.
Sarah unfortunately didn’t have sisters so I’m the woman closest to her age in Eric’s life, and I’m trying to be there for him as much as I can. We’re very close. Not that I’ll ever take Sarah’s place, no one will, but he knows if there’s ever something he doesn’t want to talk to his dad about that my home is always open to him.
So for Mother’s Day, Eric wanted to visit Sarah’s grave and then come to Mother’s Day lunch with me and my family. Miles agreed to this plan initially, but the day before he cancelled on Eric’s behalf, saying that he and Josie thought it was best that Eric spend the whole day with them, since Eric should show appreciation to Josie on Mother’s Day. I argued with Miles and eventually Miles said I could come by and see Eric and get the gift he’d gotten me but that he wanted Eric to stay with him and Josie.
When I went over to the house, Eric gave me some flowers and a small candle and we were talking outside and he said he had had his phone taken away because he had refused to say or do anything for Josie for Mother’s Day. Imagine punishing a child because he doesn’t love you. I didn’t say anything to Eric but when I was leaving I said to Miles that I thought he was doing untold damage to his son by bullying him into pretending he cares about Josie. Josie said it wasn’t bullying for wanting Eric to participate in celebrating her on Mother’s Day so I looked at her and said, “Josie, whose mother are you?”
Josie had a miscarriage a few months ago so this hit her pretty hard. I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t realise this would upset her but frankly, she isn’t Eric’s mother, and she can’t make up for wishing she was by making the day harder for him.
Josie burst into tears and started shouting at me and Miles told me to just take Eric with me because “obviously this whole thing has been a failure”.
Miles is saying I wen too far reminding Josie she isn’t a mother but I feel like someone had to, because she was acting like she’s entitled to the title when the “child” doesn’t feel that way. If she was having a hard day and wanted to memorialise what she’s been through then that’s her business but Eric shouldn’t be bullied into a pantomime because of her grief.

I know bitlife has its problems with the constant payments and needless expansion packs but one thing I absolutely adore is how it lets me live the absolute petty life I want. Like yesterday I married a woman who already had 2 sons (10yo and 7yo) and I tried to build my relationship with them but the older son refused to spend time with me so I got his mom (my wife) pregnant, built an excellent relationship with his brother, gave him 10k every year, paid for his college and bought him a car and an apartment (all of this for the younger son), then I switched to the life of my older son, made him quit his job, lost all his money gambling and got a bunch of girls pregnant all of who kept their babies. he died at 35 of high blood pressure THAT SUCKER.

*oops title edit. How TO rest with your baby?
Hi hi parents of Singapore!
New parent here. I am expecting a baby soon and we are in the middle of planning the nursery for this kiddo. With regards to sleeping, I’ve gotten multiple mixed messages with co sleeping with the baby in the bed.
Some moms I’ve spoken to have told me - you won’t need a crib. If you’re breast feeding it’s easier to just sleep in the same bed because you don’t need to get up, get bottles ready and what not, you just lift your shirt and voila! Baby is fed. She bought a crib but did not use it at all. Her son is still sleeping with her and her husband at 5 years old. But they bond really well as mother and son because of this.
Then I have another that said her husband is adamant about getting the baby independent from young. So they have a crib and a single bed in the common room. Her husband and her used to take turns for night feeding depending who is sleeping with the baby for the night.
We don’t have the luxury of space in sg but would love to hear how Singaporean parents typically do it! Thanks in advance.

Hello Reddit,
I come seeking some insight into my actions this past Mother's Day to see if I am truly out of touch with reality and everything good in this world.
Let me set the stage, this is important; We met over 2 years ago. As with any new relationship there's that initial period where everything is new, you're exploring each other. A few weeks later she was celebrating her daughter's birthday. We had bought her an iPad together. She set it up while everyone was eating cake with the family and unfortunately never checked what synced. Her daughter saw photos and videos of me and made a big scene. She turned 8. She also has a son she adopted away a few years back before going to prison.
Since then she has freaked out every time I am mentioned. Full on meltdown. As such we've had to keep our relationship a secret and hidden. Removed me from all social media and has me muted on Messenger, just to keep the peace with her daughter. This has been going on for almost 2 years in a couple of months.
This Saturday before Mother's Day she went camping with her kid and sisters kids. I didn't know at first, we usually talk in the mornings before she spends the weekend with the kids, our usual morning routine. Sent her 3 messages in the morning, one around lunch and one in the afternoon. She didn't respond until nearly 6pm where she said she went camping and sent pictures.
It was raining for me so I told her I was jealous and wish I could be there. I love her, I'll see her tomorrow, have a great evening and all that. If she or the kids needed anything to just let me know, I'll make myself available. Like 3 short messages and one just spanning 4 lines.
Mother's Day comes around and I sent her a message in the morning telling her shes the best mom and woman in the world, she works so hard for us, try her best and take care of business. She's a gift and a blessing. Told her she's amazing and I love her.
I got a single "Love you" back an hour later. I went to my parents for lunch a little after 9 and texted before going saying I had saved $200 for that day for her so if she or the kids wanted anything to use my card and hoped she liked my gift. (Scented candles and a silver necklace with her birthstone in a heart shape)
Get back from lunch a little after 11 and sent her another message and told her I made a post on FB. Basically just recognizing her for the amazing woman she is and attached 3 of the most beautiful pictures I have of her, two of them where she posed with her daughter. Told her to get something for herself or take the kids out to eat.
3:35pm rolls around, she hadn't seen any of my texts so I text her saying I'm sure she's being kept extra busy today and I wish we weren't apart on special days like today and holidays but hopefully it changes soon and that she liked the gift I had gotten for her.
I didn't expect her to respond so after sending her the text, I went on FB and saw she had posted a new header picture of her kids playing the ipad while sitting on the bed with them, being visited by the son she adopted away. I thought it was beautiful and shared it to my FB with a heart emoji.
Not even a 2 mins later she responds back telling me to "Chill the fuck out, I'm spending time with my daughter!!!"
Followed by: "Dude I'm fucking blocking you! Who the fuck are you to put pictures up of are you fucking serious!!!"
I quickly respond: "I'll remove it"
And she said: "Posting pictures of my daughter so she could possibly see or her dad flip the fuck out!!!" and she blocked me.
Later that evening she still hadn't unblocked me so I sent her an email telling her to please talk to me, I apologize if I did something wrong or to upset her, all she needed to do was voice her disapproval and tell me to remove it. (As I already had) Why do it like this?
She responds back telling me to "Leave her the fuck alone" because she's not "dealing with this psychotic behavior all the fucking damn time. Your mom can be in the hospital dying and you don't post a thing about it, but you put a fucking picture up of my adopted son! Are you fucking serious!".
My response back was I don't post sad shit on Facebook. Never have, never will. I post things that make me happy. I didn't make a post when any of my grandparents died, (last one this Jan), when I was going through 2 surgeries + 7 months of chemo and radiation for melanoma, and certainly not with tubes and wires coming out of my mom. Wasn't even a thought that crossed my mind in the middle of it.
So, Reddit, was I wrong here? Am I so morally wrong and out of touch with reality that I got what I deserved?
I haven't heard from her since. She has used my card though.

Trigger Warning for those who can be affected: romantic relationships, trust issues, lying, deceiving, age difference in sexual affairs, sexual intimacy.
Using throwaway so I do t get recognised by the details.
Hi all, So me - M23 -, I'm in a relationship with my gf F24 for nearly a year now. About 3 months into the relationship I found out from her that she used to be in a "friends with benefits" type of situation with an older guy - M51. They "casually" hooked up a few times, prior to her meeting me closer. The problem is that I know the guy fairly well. Well, the three of us work in the same company, same building, pretty much same floors as me and my gf are same department and the Guy is pretty much everywhere in our workplace. Him being 51 is my one concern as when it started between them 2.5 years ago she was only 21 turning 22 and he was nearly 49. Second problem is he's manipulative as hell, mirrors emotions and behaviours, pretends to be this super helpful gentleman but then talks people down and uses his help as a currency for "favours". Third problem is he's married. He even has a daughter, older than my gf by nearly a decade. EDIT: FORGOT TO MENTION THIS I ORIGINAL POST - he has not informed my current gf at the time they were a thing that he is married, neither did he show signs. In fact she just found out he has a daughter from my mom a few days back and looked shocked tbf. My mom doesn't know about any of it so she didn't understand why is my gf standing there in awe but I did my best to hide the truth and just waffle our way out of this conversation. I can't comprehend how any father would just blatantly go with a girl that's his daughter's age or younger, especially while having a wife. You got everything you can ask for and still look for more... 4th problem is that it's not just my gf. It has been several girls. Once I found out what happened between my gf and him I digged up a few informations and found out he's been doing this kind of thing for years, and he's acting like nothing ever happened. He still doesn't know that I found out and he's acting like nothing was ever between them two towards my gf. And 5th, last but not least. I think the worst problem of them all is that it took a tremendous hit on my gf's mental health. She has told me that she wished I'd never found out and she didn't exactly mean on telling me but she could tell it was getting serious between us and i noticed a few outlying stories when she'd tell them to me and connected the dots too quick pretty much. She wanted to act like nothing ever happened but when she told me it was as if something inside her broke the wall of emotions and gave her a medium to pour her anger and sadness out to. Now from my own life and feelings I can tell that I won't leave her over that. It's in the past, she had no right to know we'd end up together so happy and this could post a threat to us so it's not a valid reason to end a relationship. And I don't wanna end it to be honest. She's a wonderful woman and treats me better than I could ever feel I deserve so all I try to do is really match the level of happiness I give her to the one she gives me. But I can't lie and say it doesn't bother me. Sometimes when we're in bed it just flashes into my mind that this Guy was in the same position with her. That he used her for his pleasure and didn't even care about her after, pretending nothing happened. Also, I've always struggled with young population being hurt, especially with p3dos and abusers. I've got desensitised to death, wounds, blood and all gore stuff (I have worked in healthcare and I'm in anatomy major now) but I can't stand adults using and abusing children. It just kills me deeply since they don't know much better when they're young. I also can't comprehend how could he do it to his wife. And daughter too. What if they find out? Will he just pretend nothing happened? I know for sure he'd lie about it and say it's all bollocks and bullshit but that's not how it was. And truth always comes out on top. It tempts me so much to gather all that info I found along with the girls' names and ages and just to give it to his family.
That was few months back. It hit me like a truck but I went into therapy with this being main concern and somehow managed to get better. I ended up not including his family in the whole ordeal as I have found out that his now ex-wife is not really in the picture and they have parted their ways over unknown reasons. But... Literally yesterday I finally got told by my gf that in fact, her FWB thing didn't end in January last year but instead shortly before we began dating, and that whilst dating me she went to his house again to tell him that they won't be able to continue this situationship. And that she also lied to me that she's never sent him explicit pictures. She did. And apparently she needed about an hour to talk to him about ending it while being in relationship with me, and that they talked a bit about cars and life stuff. Also of course she denies that anything happened and tells me all our relationship was true and she means it all that she loves me etc. I feel like a wreck. Barely slept all night. I feel used and deceived into believing it was nothing where she treats him like some sort of child she has to protect. And yes, of course I was hit with the "I don't deserve you" I don't know what to feel or do. I'm just existing in the mere present, trying to focus on work and not give any signs of trouble to my family. They all love my gf and are so happy that I finally found someone who treats me right (I've left 5 year long abusive relationship before and had been a subject to bullying, death threats and many more devastating experiences). At least in hindsight she treated me well. And promised that everything between us was true. But she was scared she'd lose me if I found out, first of all about their affair and then about the fact that she lied. But I can't understand how could she love me and still lie straight to my face. Pretend nothing like that ever happened and deleted all their conversations so that noone finds out. She feels horrible, I can tell that. But so do I. Hell, terrible is an understatement. I feel like a void of a person. And the thing is I can't even hurt her back. I just can't fathom hurting her but what did I ever do to deserve getting treated like this again? And the moment I see her in person I feel sad but also so so so mad and angry, I don't even hold my words back and I know it hurts both of us but I just don't know what to say or do. I just ask questions and feel like shit hearing the answers. And worst part is noone apart from the three of us and redditors here know about this. I don't ever wanna say this to my family or friends I don't want them to hate her. But if we end up separating how do I ever explain it to them. What will her poor parents think. I'd miss them too. Her mom even called me her future son-in-law, and she's great woman. I help her around the house all the time. Her dad's a handyman so he gets along with me like my own old man. I don't wanna lose everything I've built and given over the last year but it feels like it's just sand falling through my hands now. I don't know how can i even believe what she's saying

Do any of you have issues with your adult children? My dil is a drunk who picks fights with everyone. I was at her and my son’s ns home on Mother’s Day. She kept drinking more and more. She proceeded to call her sister a whore in front of everyone. They ended up in a physical altercation. While trying to pull them apart my granddaughter came running out of her room then started pulling her aunts hair. I pushed my granddaughter away. Finally, we got them apart and my granddaughter tells her Mom that her Aunt swung at her. She didn’t, but my granddaughter has learned to lie for her benefit. I tried to calm my dil. It worked until I told her that her sister did not swing at my granddaughter. Then she comes after me because “I was sticking up for her sister and calling my granddaughter a liar. She starts yelling that her sister punched her daughter, my granddaughter, in the face. None of which was true. My dil kept coming at me so I grabbed my shit and left. When I got home I was bombarded with texts telling me what a piece of shit Mother and grandmother I am. She proceeds to go on talking about how much money they have and that they have a boat and she makes more money than me. I told her that I could give two shits about her debt. No my son is no longer speaking with m, again. She is so toxic. She allows her 13 year old daughter to do whatever she wants. This happens every year. Is anyone else going through this type of situation? I am over it! I am going to stand back and watch this all crumble. They are a restaurant owner. Every day after work they hang out with their employees. They party with them every weekend. Am I the only one who sees a train wreck coming?

Here. And I’d like to start by noticing that Steve Sailer is obviously Delicious Taco’s dad. Having said this.
Good episode. Lots of engagement which I suppose is a net positive for all involved. Obviously a lot of the injury stems from a distortion. The episode’s content fantasized and in fantasy warped into something constituting a threat (no, an outright assault) to the listener’s person. One can simply listen to the episode and see that some (in fact the bulk) of the negative responses are from people reacting to some spectral absent-presence rather than to what is actually being said over the course of the 2 hour long episode. The voices and the discourse have instead been shaped into sonic receptacle containing the reflection of something wildly ugly. Injuriously ugly.
Past few days have been brutal. Found myself doom-viewing the main sub, should know better at this age. Feels like I’ve been transmogrified into an absurd and wretched thing. Must've transgressed against a gnome or something. Fascinating to think about.
I would like nothing more than to shame you.
Miami Summer is a killer. Urine is blood-orange. And my mother deserves better sons.
Why would A&D do this?
Witnessing the rankest comments. In bygone age I’d found them tolerable. Having imagined them delivered by high society homosexual. A damned dandy; chubby, sinister, and flamboyant. Capri on a stick limply held between index and middle fingers, twirling wrist ash’ing on expensive Persian rug. The blurry ghosts of his mother and the kid brother who drowned in the pond all those years ago glaring at him from far-off corner. Clearing throat he launches into sing-song slander head peeling back cackling at his own wickedness. Vile and venomous but charming. Instead what we get is 30+ year old mentally-ill men. Men whose Twitter activity has atrophied their cock and balls. Genitals withering away like the Worker's State, in its place a gasping cloaca, worry not I can clock em from miles away. The odious cloaca-havers are soon joined by ruined drug-addled children and the other women. They talk about A&D in disgusting ways. This is unfair and nasty. I confess to being angry. Sweating blood-specked kerosene. Let the scent fill up the empty air between us. My wrath singeing those overgrown nose hairs.
Of the two I think Anna is the one that inspires the harshest parasocial spite. So much so that I’d recommend she take some protective measures against evil eye and tongue. Maybe take baths with hyssop herb, rose water perfume, and holy water.
It’s as if Anna Khachiyan is a Giant Floating Vagina with teeth and a noticeable overbite. Viewed from another angle it transforms into a Madonna encircled by cherubim. Perhaps we are cruel to Anna in order to be kind to our mothers.
All very pre-Oedipal.
Had to step back and parse it out. Anna draws a comparison between herself and Sailer while also asking him a great question,
07:12-07:49
Anna: “I started reading it during the pandemic because it was the pandemic. I was pregnant and bored and I really relate to you as a person who everyone thinks is like evil and monstrous on the internet, but is actually like quite agreeable and mild mannered in real life. And I was going to ask you this question last, but I may as well just ask it now. How do you feel about your new found popularity? And especially, how do you feel about the fact that you have been effectively adopted by or identified with the hard right?”
The first part of the above extract, the sympathetic recognition, brings to mind a bit of 20th century Hermetic theory concerning harmful thought-forms. Our unconscious self-destructive impulses animating the fantasy-phantasm of the other. Inhabiting their shape. Gaining a degree of autonomy. This artificial entity is vampiric by default, provoking what the Czech magician Franz Bardon calls a "magical persecutory complex"... He goes into detail about such entities in Step VI of his seminal work, Initiation into Hermetics. Describing different types of artificial elementals and phantasms along with details on how to consciously go about creating and dissipating them. One of those artificial psychic entities, the one that concerns us, he calls the schemata. Bardon details two variants, one connected with paranoid persecutory fantasies and the other with erotic obsession. The first type comes about when someone who is “easily excitable, easily influenced or self-important” (Narcissist?) has a run in with another person who has, to put it mildly, a memorable visage and dark personality. The schemata is born from the phantasm modeled after this demonic-looking disagreeable person. The victim begins to attribute all kinds of minor inconveniences to the influence of the ugly person. Deludes themselves into thinking that the ugly/disagreeable person is a powerful black magician. Everything appears to reinforce their paranoid delusions. The schema grows in power feeding off the anxieties of their creatohost. The person might end up committing suicide. This was the persecutory schemas desire, having achieved its goal Bardon notes, “how great is the shock when such a spirit realizes on the mental plane that he has committed a very successful magical suicide. What a bitter disappointment! The demonic looking person, however, has no idea what happened; he was actually only the means to an end.”
God gave us eyes so that we might notice things.
The way I see it:
Being social animals the subject of our fantasy, of our fixations, is the fantasy of the other. What makes the human Human is not that we desire but rather that we desire the desire of the other. An excess desire. We fantasize about what the other is fantasizing and enjoying. Our fantasy of the fantasy of the other is the outlines a fundamental lack within our person, a negativity. Experienced as a splitting of consciousness. Intuiting this lack, becoming aware of it, and attempting to articulate it, we are self-consciousness. This negativity or void is in psychoanalytic terms, the unconscious. We likewise intuit that there had once been some original state. One without lack and contradiction. A state of fullness, without the division between self and object. A harmonious whole. A pure consciousness or as Freud refers to it in Civilization and its Discontents an oceanic feeling. The Original Desire, one that is authentically my own, which was not the desire of the other but which unites our desires in itself. This desire is the extinction of all desires.
The eye that perceives the lovely is at once the eye that perceives what I lack. Perceiving this lack, which explains my present condition, I covet. This is an evil eye. The lover’s gaze is of the same type as the infirm or pathic gaze. Reminded of Zizek’s formulation of one of Hegel’s insights, “Evil resides in the very gaze which perceives Evil all around itself" itself a variation of Meister Eckhart’s “the eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me.” The recognition of evil, the ability to see and judge evil, stems from our ability to recognize disparity. This disparity is already present within our own person, the split-consciousness. The feeling cognized, the awareness of our condition as beings separated from the whole. The clairvoyance of the tyrant and the philosopher.
Suppose that psychopathology is born from our inability to recognize an image as an image.
I intuit something more in this person, something they’re hiding. It can’t just be envy, no. It has to be because I can feel that this thing they’re hiding is sinister. It can’t just be that I feel animosity towards this person, no. It has to be because this person is evil and not just an isolated evil but rather a symptom of a much larger evil. An evil that is responsible for all the suffering in the World, for why my World isn’t the way it should be. It can’t just be attraction, no. It has to be that I intuit something more in this person, something hidden, that I must destroy in order to go on living.
If vile shit comes to mind (as vile things often do, especially when one is immersed in ambient algorithmically-summoned vileness, namely outrage and atrocity porn) they won't affirm it to themselves or try to justify or rationalize it or present it as a rational political stance. And they don’t abstract this particular form of vileness into the primary lens through which they view and interpret cultural phenomena. Unreflexive racial animosity is ugly and fetid. We’re capable of recognizing it, feeling it, as something pathological. We’re also capable of laughing at it. Laughing at ourselves. Look at what our ladies have to say about Stuart Seldowitz (the dude who went viral harassing a halal street vendor) in I’ll Be Missinger. “He sucks,” “he’s a loser,” “he’s obviously sick,” and that he gives the impression of someone who lives alone, will die alone, and will be found weeks or even months after the fact.
Perhaps Red Scare is special in how it manages to elicit absurd, wildly inappropriate responses from listeners. Vulgar and revelatory was it? Steve Sailer elicits a similar response and has become an expert in turning said absurd reactions to his advantage. Generally the cooler-head in any given exchange. While the other person shouts obscenities at a ghost, smashing fists against the post, looking crazy, like a proper hysteric. Sailer breaks the fourth-wall, making eye-contact with the would-be noticer, with a little shake of the head, a little chuckle, a little shrug… “you’re noticing right? See what I have to put up with? Imagine these people defining my legacy.” Still he seems to take it with the good humor of an uncle who will still call you on your birthday, despite your drunken outburst during holiday get-together he will admit to not having resisted the temptation to provoke you, it use to be fun, recall all the cool bands I introduced you too? We use to be best buds, “do you really think anything I’ve said merits this sort of response? Honestly?”
Has to be a cheap trick. A technique employed by an old trickster in decades long honing of craft. Maybe not. Maybe what we see is precisely what we get. Most of the very upsetting things being jokes sincerely intended to lighten the mood. Steve Sailer doesn’t care about the particular political orientation of his audience. He just cares that he has an audience. Grateful for the fans he has. Nonetheless happy that they’re not seething malcontent racists. Even if one disagrees with the methodology, the heuristic, the conclusions. That’s secondary, perhaps even tertiary to the recognition sought. His craftsmanship as a writer.
Why I loved his conflict with Will Stancil. Stancil inspired a lot of pondering for me. Putting things in place…
01:29:22-01:29:28
Anna: “You come for the race science and stay for the prose-styling and vivid story-telling.”
In trying to survive as a writer exiled from Mainstream Conservative media (ConInc) during the Bush Jr years. In fact, correct me if I’m wrong but the cancelation that actually impacted Steve Sailer, setting him down the path we find him in, was brought about not by blue-haired hall monitor millennial leftists but by his “fellow” Conservatives. I imagine that he just went with whoever was willing to take him adapting to the editorial standards and audience sensibilities of the publications willing to provide him succor. Not charity mind you but an ability to engage in his own little labor of love.
Read some Sailer. Might get into that later. But that’s the initial impression I got from Steve. Would be utterly mortified if memorialized as a Racialist Ideologue rather than as an entertaining and thought-provoking journalist. Think I also benefited from seeing how he’s actually received by people who are navigating through (or in certain cases, are mired in) the marginal “Hard Right”-spaces or the Rightwing Digital Ghetto. End up realizing that he isn’t hateful, that what you see is precisely what you get, that he privileges craft over ideology, that his reception and exile from Neocon dominated media outlets (remember these are the people gushing ecstatic over the US invasion of Iraq, manufacturing consent for our adventures in the Middle East) was exceedingly unfair but that he nonetheless managed to persevere. And that he really never goes beyond Norm McDonald in terms of his sardonic wit or The Boondocks animated series in terms of his criticisms. His normality is a great source of stability and comfort for his readers; “noticing” and speculating about these topics doesn’t necessarily lead to one becoming a seething racist.
Returning for a moment to Will Stancil, this was what he inspired:
As the last man standing I spend countless hours immersed in detailed fantasies about the coming apocalypse and my enemy's bliss. A dumb and wicked happiness proportional to my suffering. Easy to imagine other people happy. Hearts unbroken. Unburdened, hydrated, sexually satisfied, debt-free, lucky, successful in all business endeavors. Brute, jezebel, schemer, parasite, rival, betrayer... the whole lot of them thriving. Frolicking in my mind's eye. When the time comes I won't forget that they were happy while...others...suffered.
Find that trying to void your mind of all thought or sit perfectly still for 10 minutes. End up feeling like something requires much less energy from us than nothing. Causes coalescing. Conspiring, to what ends?
You see. The very same principle appears to be at work here. Same pathological base that undergirds genuine racial or ethnic animosity. Fantasizing about the other’s enjoyment and being unable to distinguish between the persecutory Phantasm and the actual human being whose shape it appropriates.
Had a friend recommend forgetting. Forgetting is a dialectical exercise, first you have to acknowledge the thing living rent free in your head and acknowledge its origins... then you have to take the steps to stop feeding it. Letting the thought-form dissolve. Let it be put to rest. Reminded of the practice Orthodox Christian contemplatives call Nepsis.
Other approaches as well, acknowledging the presence of anima veiled in shadow.
But listen…
The podcasts I consume, are a reflection of me as a person. Being what I associate and consume. What does it say about me in particular? Reveal about me? That they should have Steve Sailer on the pod. Settling down. Perhaps some responses could be understood in this light. That a Sailer episode reflects poorly on the listener. Constituting a great betrayal of the love and energy and time I have dedicated over the years to you.
I’m not a racist.
Show me your likes on Twitter and I’ll tell you who you are. The most punitive and brutal god. The idea of the AI nu-god being this, utilizing that standard, is horrifying. Show me your likes on Twitter and I’ll tell you who you are, everything you are, and whether or not you qualify to live.
Shamed, I quietly remove the upvote I gave to the hysterical person and the downvote I gave to him.
Hysteria like a yawn is an empathic contagion.
Back to Anna it’s not because she’s ugly and it sucks that she might nurse this delusion. I actually think Anna is really pretty. Rather I think it’s because she’s a mom. She registers as a maternal figure. That’s one of the reasons I think people respond to her the way they do. As stated earlier. We are cruel to Anna in order to forgive our moms.
[To be continued: Wherein I say horrible things that should never be said to the people I claim to love. Will also interrogate Sailor Socialism]

Well ladies, I made it 6.5 months before having to resort to supplementing with formula this week. I knew this was coming for about a month and I’ve accepted it at this point. I feel a little less guilty knowing that my son is starting solids, but of course just really sad I couldn’t keep up with the supply he needs for milk. I for sure think that being a full time working mom just made it super difficult for my body to respond to his needs since I’ve mainly been pumping since back to work at 12 weeks. I still plan on continuing to pump & breastfeed as long as it feels right for both me and LO, but knowing we are supplementing from here on out just feels like a pivotal moment in my journey 🤷‍♀️ anyways, I just needed a place to put these feelings. Thanks for listening.

It's just me (19M) and my mom (48F). We escaped my abusive father. My father hated me cuz i was autistic and he didnt want a neurodivergent son. My mom never cared about that and always loved. I'm in university. But I have no friends.
I just live and breathe for my mom. I love her to death but I am scared of her getting older because I will be all alone when that happens. I'm really passionate about cooking because I want to feed her and make things easy for her.
I'm struggling with self identity because even though I love her, i have no idea who I am without her. She has been my best and only real, long lasting friend I've ever had since I was born.

This is a PSA
I made a post about my Star Man Chun-Li MS-008. Many people have seen a TikTok that has gone a bit viral of the Chun-Li figure. Poster doesn't show the nude body bit claims it has "all the details" commenter are claiming this as well. I believe this is a disinformation campaign as all figures produced in 2024 have been forced to censor all products. This involved altering all molds and removing anatomically correct features(nipples/vagina). My figure is completely censored, and I have confirmed with several others who have the figure. Due to this tiktok video, MANY people were asking me for photos, thinking that the figure has all the details despite my saying otherwise. I removed my post because it was just getting silly with the requests. Long story short, Chun-Li was meant to be anatomically correct, but Star Man/VeryCool were forced to censor it. I also think that Star Man announcing Cammy for pre-orders was intentionally done weeks before Chunli shipped...
I did some research and found out why this happened. I believe this is why the Chunli figure was so delayed because it and every other figure produced this year had to have their molds censored...
"Thanks a lot for contacting us. Yeah, unfortunately, this is true.
So it started from a mom that caught [her] pupil son playing with a very sexy little figurine (not 1/6 action figures in realistic style, it's one of those small anime character statues, with very tempting body details and almost no clothes I suppose), and she got so concerned to have to call the journalists to expose this as a "scandal" of the toy industry trying to poison an innocent child. So, this went up on television and aroused some debates. Government visited lots of toy factories, and require them to make sure they future products comply with the policies related to children.
It does not really matter whether the product says "only for adults" on the packaging. As long as it could be exposed to a child as a "toy", it needs to meet the regulations. It's a grey area for some of the body products in 1/6 scale, but most factories might choose to play safe. It's not an easy decision to make for them I'm sure but as a big company they need to think in the long term.
Most of the bodies we stock now are the new version, btw." -source Giantoy
"The media previously exposed the sale of pirated adult pvc figures in some shops outside schools and then the government sent law enforcement officers to inspect all local toy factories in Dongguan. Chinese law doesn't allow the sale of pornographic products but allow the adult products. Now the problem is those adult figures/models that cannot be used to facilitate sexual pleasure are not clearly classified as adult products. So now they temporarily remove the 'private details' to avoid legal risks maybe. On the cootrary, the factories that produces adult pvc figures did not change the mold and their selling agents just temporarily no longer providing orders for pre-orders of audlt pvc figures in China. Anyway, it just a temporary solution during the special period I guess. Of course, you can send an email to consult them directly." -source BBICN forum