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Hi all! I'm not an active poster, but an avid reader here. I'm truly at a loss when it comes to my narcisisstic sister-law, and seeking some advice or guidance on how to move forward.
There is a lot of back story here but I've been with my fiance for 10+ years, getting married later this year. My fiance's brother has been married to his wife for a few years now. They have 2 bio children together, and she has 1 from a previous relationship. Her oldest was accepted into the family with open arms, and my in-laws have shown up for him as grandparents since they first met him years ago. My future SIL is a bit older than my BIL and has always been vocally insecure about this (among many things), despite nobody in the family being bothered by it. She's an incredibly insecure person (as narcs typically are) and has always been very vocal about this, but it initially seemed harmless and that she just had self-depricating humor. Her and I formed a "friendship" when my fiance and I first moved to the area, and she seemed funny, kind, and easy to talk to. Things began to take a turn when all she wanted to discuss with me was how "awful" our MIL is, and just generally complaining about other family members constantly. My fiance and I encouraged her to try to address her issues with MIL and others, and tried to be supportive of them and their kids. It eventually got to the point when I realized that this is not just an insecure person that doesn't know her place in the family yet; her true colors began to show and I decided to take a step back and stop reaching out, making any sort of effort to hang out, etc. Since then, things have gone downhill severely with no end in sight. Her and my future BIL live in "crisis mode", as we call it, and there's always some dire situation happening in their lives that requires the rest of the family to drop everything and help them. There's been mental health crises, rehoming their family pets, mysterious allergies popping up, threats of divorce, etc. to name a few. She uses her children as pawns to get what she wants, constantly lies, and is just overall an incredibly manipulative person. This has created major resentment within the family, particularly with our other BIL and SIL. My future in-laws constantly defend their chaotic behavior and try to keep the peace within the family, which ultimately has ended up creating more resentment and issues with everyone.
My fiance had the idea to try to get everyone to begin seeing a family counselor to try to assist with some of the conflict. Everyone began attending about 6 months ago, first as just couples and eventually adding his parents into the mix, etc. To make a long story short, it's been 6 months with little to no change. If anything, things have gotten worse and now N-SIL is essentially refusing to be in the same room as myself and my other SIL. Her and I have never had any issues that I'm aware of, aside from me just keeping my distance from her. Her and other SIL have had some confrontations, so I'm not sure if I'm just guilty by association because we are close friends? MIL has implied that myself and other SIL are to blame for the issues, and she thinks we need to put everything behind us and be the "bigger people". The counselor has discouraged me from reaching out to her directly to hash things out, saying that she "can't handle it" and it will used against me later. I've asked her directly how to handle someone like this and she simply says to "create boundaries", which I believe I already have done with her.
It feels like my back is against the wall. I can't keep living my life this way with constant conflict and unspoken issues. I'm not a confrontational person by any means, but this feels like we're simply just prolonging the issue and creating more animosity the longer she refuses to see or speak with us. I'm fully prepared to be respectful and cordial with her in the future; we simply will never be friends, and I think I have every right to draw that line.
Has anyone experienced something similar and can offer some insight? Do I continue to attend counseling despite it lack of effectiveness? I'm at a loss!

My SS, a senior was selling hanging baskets and planters for his project graduation fundraising. I purchased 2 planters for my porch planters and two hanging baskets for my mom and MIL. We sent the order form home with SS and two checks for $140 total to cover the flowers. SS lives and goes to school 2 hours away but we get every weekend and half of all breaks.
Fast forward to delivery day, and all the flowers ordered across two order forms (because surely BM couldn’t have her orders with mine) are picked up. My SS asked if I got my flowers because when mom went to pick them up, “ours weren’t there”. We didn’t get notification to even pick them up. When BM is emailed about the flowers she freaks out and says she was told someone with my name picked them up and that she didn’t sell us flowers. She also claims we probably already have the flowers and are just trying to start drama with her…
Mind you, I was out of town, and had no notification of when flower pickup was, nor was I responsible for an order form. After talking to the organizer, there weren’t any flowers left and all were picked up and accounted for. I told her to keep the money as a donation to project graduation and I’ll move on.
Just frustrated, this is 14 years of bio mom doing anything and every little thing to inconvenience my husband and I, to hell with how it affects the kids. My SS was pretty disappointed I didn’t get the flowers I ordered as presents for Mother’s Day.

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from ages 9-12, i was groomed and assaulted by my ex stepbrother for years. when my dad and his mother seperated and then divorced, and i remembered everything and we ended up filing a police report (huge oversimplification, it was more complicated than that but who cares). except nothing came of it. he even confessed. and it just never went to trial. turns out child on child cases are really hard to convict, especially when grooming is involved bc i "consented". it didn't matter that that "consent" was gotten cohersivly and through heavy manipulation. this boy was my best friend, the person i trusted most. i have nightmares, a huge aversion to physical touch, a hard time developing trust, i can't even trust my stepmoms family fully, always afraid someone will do something even though i am closer to them than my bio family.
and on top of all of this, i recently learned from a childhood friend that i started reconnecting with that i wasn't the only one. hers was a much different situation but in the end, we were both victims. and that opens the door of now knowing how many more there could have been. because we weren't the only girls in his life and now he has a longterm gf, so many friends (many of whom are women or who have little sisters), and he works in the healthcare field. and i know at least for a time it was in pediatrics.
none of his family outside of my ex stepmother, who helped hide it, knows what happened. and i know most won't believe me. they are a heavily christian family who are judge everyone, and even if they believe me, i will be harrassed and a lot will blame me. but i can't live knowing that i could have stopped someone else from becoming a victim, or that if theres anyone else, they think they are alone and that it was their fault.
so i am going to make a new facebook account (and maybe instagram too) so this doesn't fall on my other loved ones and make a post detailing my situation, and i am going to tag everyone i can in his family and friends. its gonna be hard because his accounts are private so i have to gather his followers from his loved ones lists but i am going to do it. they deserve to know at the very least.

TL;DR my mom cheated since I was a kid. She recently restarted and a "huge wound" was reopened. My father proposed my to make her move out of house, but that means bringing with her my step brother and that makes me feel bad, making him made a huge change and knowing who he's gonna have to live with
My [19M] mother [41F] has been cheating on my father [56M] since I was very little. She even got pregnant with another man when I was 7 but my father didn't split from her, thus deciding to raise my step-brother [12M] as his. From then on, the relationship between her and my father steadily worsened and fights became increasingly common. Added with the fact that my mother has always been the exact opposite of a caring, warm and loving mother, it's no surprise that I've a lot of resentment for her.
After that, she nonchalantly had an affair with a second man and she would often leave me alone at night to go out with him. Despite me suffering for all this situation, being just a kid and not having the consciousness that I have now, I basically was able to not care 99% of the time.
I'd like however to point out that I've never felt any sort apology or regret from my mom: there's been very few moments where I'd the occassion to make her present how this whole context made me suffer, but her answers where all inteded to make ME feel guilty:

• "Even my mother wasn't as loving or caring, but I pay her respect"
• "Whatever you think or I do, I'm STILL YOUR MOTHER"
• "Who's the one who cooks, does the laundry and irons your clothes every single day?"
• "You know I could've aborted you that day, right? My father advised my to abort, but here you are" (yet a pair of times she expressively told me that should've abort me)

Once I've even had the courage to brought up her cheating behaviour (in hindsight I wouldn't do it so directly) and she replied me :"So what? What if you go to whores as adult? I was 10 years old.
In 2018 onward, it seemed like she went on "remission" in regard of cheating: she basically stopped to go out at night or to have "suspicios" hours-lasting phonecalls locked in her bedroom and the relationship between my parents become neutral and basically becomed the definition of "couple separated at home". I was totally happy with that, and basically lived I happy life since then, thinking of that whole context just as a "the worst is over" or "a nightmare to forget".
Unfortunately, in 2021, after 3 years of absolute peace, my mother started to cheating again and become clear that that person that was supposed to be a "friend" was her umpteenth lover, and the cycle repeated: she started staying several hours outside and coming home at night, to have hours long phonecalls locked in her room (referring to the interlocutor with "sweetheart"), but above all, my parents started to ingage in fights again (and I hear everything the say: they DO discuss about this whole situation, all arguments are ALL about "you either choose me or him" by my dad). From my part, my mood started to drop, my anxiety to increase started having suicidal thoughts and indulged in addiction, like excessive binge eating, VERY bad mindless scrolling and pornography. Oh, and without even mentioning the atrocious panick attacks I have every time she recieves phonecalls or she's out, always knowing that it could be him. May be a bit exaggerated, but it almost sounds like a traumatic response.I went two years, when I finally decided I couldn't live like this anymore and decided to tell all of this to all the relatives I felt comfortable with. The voice reached my parents and, with the help of my grandad (who my mother decided to cut any contact with once he pointed her out her behaviour, telling him :"This is my private life"). We talked about how I felt, why I felt that way, my parents relationship and their mistakes. My mother was very non-collaborative, unapologetic and tried any way to justify her self, here are some example:

• My father didn't split from my mom when she get pregnant because he was afraid of "traumatize me" but explained him that it just made things muuuuuuuuch worse. My mother replied :"If we split, you should've cared for him alone and probably pay someone to do housework. It was convenient for you too.
• We talked about how her cheating makes feel bad. My mom replied :"Well, then why my father being a relationship with a woman different from my mother doesn't bother?". My grandfather has divorced from my grandmother 40 YEARS AGO, and even if it wasn't the case, you don't live togheter and you wouldn't get in contact with this fucked up dynamics every single day of your life.

My mother never had a fix job and has a bad relationship with both their parents thus wouldn't know where to go. Considering the fact that she knows that my father is the only willing to maintain her son (since even the bio father isn't willing to) the motivation for her to stay with my father is obvious: is pure exploitation.
After some days, my father told me that, if the situation is so inbearable to me, my mother could even move out with my brother. That's however makes me upset for two motives:

• My father expressly said how this whole situation hurts even for him. Then why should I be the one to take such a decision? Shouldn't you as adult understand that
• The fact of my brother going to live alone with my mother makes me feel bad. I would feel guilty to make my brother making him leave such a big change of life because of me, especially living with such a human being such as my mother. Again, I hate that it's me that has to take such a big decision,

My mental suffering persists to this day, so I think that I should first see I psychiatrist, but I also know that in such an enviroment it would me impossible to me to heal: it would be like treating a flu while living in a house which is on fire.
What would you do in my shoes. Unfortunately I just graduated from highschool and reaching economical independence wouldn't be possible before many many years, and I'm not sure what gonna happen to my mental health in those "many many years"

TL;DR my mom cheated since I was a kid. She recently restarted and a "huge wound" was reopened. My father proposed my to make her move out of house, but that means bringing with her my step brother and that makes me feel bad, making him made a huge change and knowing who he's gonna have to live with
My [19M] mother [41F] has been cheating on my father [56M] since I was very little. She even got pregnant with another man when I was 7 but my father didn't split from her, thus deciding to raise my step-brother [12M] as his. From then on, the relationship between her and my father steadily worsened and fights became increasingly common. Added with the fact that my mother has always been the exact opposite of a caring, warm and loving mother, it's no surprise that I've a lot of resentment for her.
After that, she nonchalantly had an affair with a second man and she would often leave me alone at night to go out with him. Despite me suffering for all this situation, being just a kid and not having the consciousness that I have now, I basically was able to not care 99% of the time.
I'd like however to point out that I've never felt any sort apology or regret from my mom: there's been very few moments where I'd the occassion to make her present how this whole context made me suffer, but her answers where all inteded to make ME feel guilty:

• "Even my mother wasn't as loving or caring, but I pay her respect"
• "Whatever you think or I do, I'm STILL YOUR MOTHER"
• "Who's the one who cooks, does the laundry and irons your clothes every single day?"
• "You know I could've aborted you that day, right? My father advised my to abort, but here you are" (yet a pair of times she expressively told me that should've abort me)

Once I've even had the courage to brought up her cheating behaviour (in hindsight I wouldn't do it so directly) and she replied me :"So what? What if you go to whores as adult? I was 10 years old.
In 2018 onward, it seemed like she went on "remission" in regard of cheating: she basically stopped to go out at night or to have "suspicios" hours-lasting phonecalls locked in her bedroom and the relationship between my parents become neutral and basically becomed the definition of "couple separated at home". I was totally happy with that, and basically lived I happy life since then, thinking of that whole context just as a "the worst is over" or "a nightmare to forget".
Unfortunately, in 2021, after 3 years of absolute peace, my mother started to cheating again and become clear that that person that was supposed to be a "friend" was her umpteenth lover, and the cycle repeated: she started staying several hours outside and coming home at night, to have hours long phonecalls locked in her room (referring to the interlocutor with "sweetheart"), but above all, my parents started to ingage in fights again (and I hear everything the say: they DO discuss about this whole situation, all arguments are ALL about "you either choose me or him" by my dad). From my part, my mood started to drop, my anxiety to increase started having suicidal thoughts and indulged in addiction, like excessive binge eating, VERY bad mindless scrolling and pornography. Oh, and without even mentioning the atrocious panick attacks I have every time she recieves phonecalls or she's out, always knowing that it could be him. May be a bit exaggerated, but it almost sounds like a traumatic response.I went two years, when I finally decided I couldn't live like this anymore and decided to tell all of this to all the relatives I felt comfortable with. The voice reached my parents and, with the help of my grandad (who my mother decided to cut any contact with once he pointed her out her behaviour, telling him :"This is my private life"). We talked about how I felt, why I felt that way, my parents relationship and their mistakes. My mother was very non-collaborative, unapologetic and tried any way to justify her self, here are some example:

• My father didn't split from my mom when she get pregnant because he was afraid of "traumatize me" but explained him that it just made things muuuuuuuuch worse. My mother replied :"If we split, you should've cared for him alone and probably pay someone to do housework. It was convenient for you too.
• We talked about how her cheating makes feel bad. My mom replied :"Well, then why my father being a relationship with a woman different from my mother doesn't bother?". My grandfather has divorced from my grandmother 40 YEARS AGO, and even if it wasn't the case, you don't live togheter and you wouldn't get in contact with this fucked up dynamics every single day of your life.

My mother never had a fix job and has a bad relationship with both their parents thus wouldn't know where to go. Considering the fact that she knows that my father is the only willing to maintain her son (since even the bio father isn't willing to) the motivation for her to stay with my father is obvious: is pure exploitation.
After some days, my father told me that, if the situation is so inbearable to me, my mother could even move out with my brother. That's however makes me upset for two motives:

• My father expressly said how this whole situation hurts even for him. Then why should I be the one to take such a decision? Shouldn't you as adult understand that
• The fact of my brother going to live alone with my mother makes me feel bad. I would feel guilty to make my brother making him leave such a big change of life because of me, especially living with such a human being such as my mother. Again, I hate that it's me that has to take such a big decision,

My mental suffering persists to this day, so I think that I should first see I psychiatrist, but I also know that in such an enviroment it would me impossible to me to heal: it would be like treating a flu while living in a house which is on fire.
What would you do in my shoes? Unfortunately I just graduated from highschool and reaching economical independence wouldn't be possible before many many years, and I'm not sure what gonna happen to my mental health in those "many many years"

TL;DR my mom cheated since I was a kid. She recently restarted and a "huge wound" was reopened. My father proposed my to make her move out of house, but that means bringing with her my step brother and that makes me feel bad, making him made a huge change and knowing who he's gonna have to live with
My [19M] mother [41F] has been cheating on my father [56M] since I was very little. She even got pregnant with another man when I was 7 but my father didn't split from her, thus deciding to raise my step-brother [12M] as his. From then on, the relationship between her and my father steadily worsened and fights became increasingly common. Added with the fact that my mother has always been the exact opposite of a caring, warm and loving mother, it's no surprise that I've a lot of resentment for her.
After that, she nonchalantly had an affair with a second man and she would often leave me alone at night to go out with him. Despite me suffering for all this situation, being just a kid and not having the consciousness that I have now, I basically was able to not care 99% of the time.
I'd like however to point out that I've never felt any sort apology or regret from my mom: there's been very few moments where I'd the occassion to make her present how this whole context made me suffer, but her answers where all inteded to make ME feel guilty:

• "Even my mother wasn't as loving or caring, but I pay her respect"
• "Whatever you think or I do, I'm STILL YOUR MOTHER"
• "Who's the one who cooks, does the laundry and irons your clothes every single day?"
• "You know I could've aborted you that day, right? My father advised my to abort, but here you are" (yet a pair of times she expressively told me that should've abort me)

Once I've even had the courage to brought up her cheating behaviour (in hindsight I wouldn't do it so directly) and she replied me :"So what? What if you go to whores as adult? I was 10 years old.
In 2018 onward, it seemed like she went on "remission" in regard of cheating: she basically stopped to go out at night or to have "suspicios" hours-lasting phonecalls locked in her bedroom and the relationship between my parents become neutral and basically becomed the definition of "couple separated at home". I was totally happy with that, and basically lived I happy life since then, thinking of that whole context just as a "the worst is over" or "a nightmare to forget".
Unfortunately, in 2021, after 3 years of absolute peace, my mother started to cheating again and become clear that that person that was supposed to be a "friend" was her umpteenth lover, and the cycle repeated: she started staying several hours outside and coming home at night, to have hours long phonecalls locked in her room (referring to the interlocutor with "sweetheart"), but above all, my parents started to ingage in fights again (and I hear everything the say: they DO discuss about this whole situation, all arguments are ALL about "you either choose me or him" by my dad). From my part, my mood started to drop, my anxiety to increase started having suicidal thoughts and indulged in addiction, like excessive binge eating, VERY bad mindless scrolling and pornography. Oh, and without even mentioning the atrocious panick attacks I have every time she recieves phonecalls or she's out, always knowing that it could be him. May be a bit exaggerated, but it almost sounds like a traumatic response.I went two years, when I finally decided I couldn't live like this anymore and decided to tell all of this to all the relatives I felt comfortable with. The voice reached my parents and, with the help of my grandad (who my mother decided to cut any contact with once he pointed her out her behaviour, telling him :"This is my private life"). We talked about how I felt, why I felt that way, my parents relationship and their mistakes. My mother was very non-collaborative, unapologetic and tried any way to justify her self, here are some example:

• My father didn't split from my mom when she get pregnant because he was afraid of "traumatize me" but explained him that it just made things muuuuuuuuch worse. My mother replied :"If we split, you should've cared for him alone and probably pay someone to do housework. It was convenient for you too.
• We talked about how her cheating makes feel bad. My mom replied :"Well, then why my father being a relationship with a woman different from my mother doesn't bother?". My grandfather has divorced from my grandmother 40 YEARS AGO, and even if it wasn't the case, you don't live togheter and you wouldn't get in contact with this fucked up dynamics every single day of your life.

My mother never had a fix job and has a bad relationship with both their parents thus wouldn't know where to go. Considering the fact that she knows that my father is the only willing to maintain her son (since even the bio father isn't willing to) the motivation for her to stay with my father is obvious: is pure exploitation.
After some days, my father told me that, if the situation is so inbearable to me, my mother could even move out with my brother. That's however makes me upset for two motives:

• My father expressly said how this whole situation hurts even for him. Then why should I be the one to take such a decision? Shouldn't you as adult understand that
• The fact of my brother going to live alone with my mother makes me feel bad. I would feel guilty to make my brother making him leave such a big change of life because of me, especially living with such a human being such as my mother. Again, I hate that it's me that has to take such a big decision,

My mental suffering persists to this day, so I think that I should first see I psychiatrist, but I also know that in such an enviroment it would me impossible to me to heal: it would be like treating a flu while living in a house which is on fire.
What would you do in my shoes. Unfortunately I just graduated from highschool and reaching economical independence wouldn't be possible before many many years, and I'm not sure what gonna happen to my mental health in those "many many years"

TL;DR my mom cheated since I was a kid. She recently restarted and a "huge wound" was reopened. My father proposed my to make her move out of house, but that means bringing with her my step brother and that makes me feel bad, making him made a huge change and knowing who he's gonna have to live with
My [19M] mother [41F] has been cheating on my father [56M] since I was very little. She even got pregnant with another man when I was 7 but my father didn't split from her, thus deciding to raise my step-brother [12M] as his. From then on, the relationship between her and my father steadily worsened and fights became increasingly common. Added with the fact that my mother has always been the exact opposite of a caring, warm and loving mother, it's no surprise that I've a lot of resentment for her.
After that, she nonchalantly had an affair with a second man and she would often leave me alone at night to go out with him. Despite me suffering for all this situation, being just a kid and not having the consciousness that I have now, I basically was able to not care 99% of the time.
I'd like however to point out that I've never felt any sort apology or regret from my mom: there's been very few moments where I'd the occassion to make her present how this whole context made me suffer, but her answers where all inteded to make ME feel guilty:

• "Even my mother wasn't as loving or caring, but I pay her respect"
• "Whatever you think or I do, I'm STILL YOUR MOTHER"
• "Who's the one who cooks, does the laundry and irons your clothes every single day?"
• "You know I could've aborted you that day, right? My father advised my to abort, but here you are" (yet a pair of times she expressively told me that should've abort me)

Once I've even had the courage to brought up her cheating behaviour (in hindsight I wouldn't do it so directly) and she replied me :"So what? What if you go to whores as adult? I was 10 years old.
In 2018 onward, it seemed like she went on "remission" in regard of cheating: she basically stopped to go out at night or to have "suspicios" hours-lasting phonecalls locked in her bedroom and the relationship between my parents become neutral and basically becomed the definition of "couple separated at home". I was totally happy with that, and basically lived I happy life since then, thinking of that whole context just as a "the worst is over" or "a nightmare to forget".
Unfortunately, in 2021, after 3 years of absolute peace, my mother started to cheating again and become clear that that person that was supposed to be a "friend" was her umpteenth lover, and the cycle repeated: she started staying several hours outside and coming home at night, to have hours long phonecalls locked in her room (referring to the interlocutor with "sweetheart"), but above all, my parents started to ingage in fights again (and I hear everything the say: they DO discuss about this whole situation, all arguments are ALL about "you either choose me or him" by my dad). From my part, my mood started to drop, my anxiety to increase started having suicidal thoughts and indulged in addiction, like excessive binge eating, VERY bad mindless scrolling and pornography. Oh, and without even mentioning the atrocious panick attacks I have every time she recieves phonecalls or she's out, always knowing that it could be him. May be a bit exaggerated, but it almost sounds like a traumatic response.I went two years, when I finally decided I couldn't live like this anymore and decided to tell all of this to all the relatives I felt comfortable with. The voice reached my parents and, with the help of my grandad (who my mother decided to cut any contact with once he pointed her out her behaviour, telling him :"This is my private life"). We talked about how I felt, why I felt that way, my parents relationship and their mistakes. My mother was very non-collaborative, unapologetic and tried any way to justify her self, here are some example:

• My father didn't split from my mom when she get pregnant because he was afraid of "traumatize me" but explained him that it just made things muuuuuuuuch worse. My mother replied :"If we split, you should've cared for him alone and probably pay someone to do housework. It was convenient for you too.
• We talked about how her cheating makes feel bad. My mom replied :"Well, then why my father being a relationship with a woman different from my mother doesn't bother?". My grandfather has divorced from my grandmother 40 YEARS AGO, and even if it wasn't the case, you don't live togheter and you wouldn't get in contact with this fucked up dynamics every single day of your life.

My mother never had a fix job and has a bad relationship with both their parents thus wouldn't know where to go. Considering the fact that she knows that my father is the only willing to maintain her son (since even the bio father isn't willing to) the motivation for her to stay with my father is obvious: is pure exploitation.
After some days, my father told me that, if the situation is so inbearable to me, my mother could even move out with my brother. That's however makes me upset for two motives:

• My father expressly said how this whole situation hurts even for him. Then why should I be the one to take such a decision? Shouldn't you as adult understand that
• The fact of my brother going to live alone with my mother makes me feel bad. I would feel guilty to make my brother making him leave such a big change of life because of me, especially living with such a human being such as my mother. Again, I hate that it's me that has to take such a big decision,

My mental suffering persists to this day, so I think that I should first see I psychiatrist, but I also know that in such an enviroment it would me impossible to me to heal: it would be like treating a flu while living in a house which is on fire.
What would you do in my shoes. Unfortunately I just graduated from highschool and reaching economical independence wouldn't be possible before many many years, and I'm not sure what gonna happen to my mental health in those "many many years"

I was estranged from my bio dad and never met my paternal grandfather. So I was surprised to learn he lived in my same hometown and died when I was 18. He was never more than a fifteen minute drive away but I still never saw him. So that was a pretty sad outcome to me. I've heard he could be a difficult person so maybe it was a good thing. But still I would like to have had the chance to decide for myself. His mother was still alive around that time as well, several US states over. So I could potentially have traveled to meet my paternal great-grandmother as well. But that's how life happens sometimes I guess. Our parents challenges become our reality.
The silver lining is I learned he was in WWII and I have several bio relatives on Ancestry I've chatted with who have shared some great pictures of him very young in uniform as well as later in life. The real surprise is that he married my grandmother, divorced her and then they got married to each other and divorced again several years later! I didn't know that kind of thing happened but apparently it was pretty common in the 60s and 70s.
Edit: Sorry, I didn't mean to post a downer! Whether you have happy or sad surprises I would like to hear them!

Wasn't sure where to post, but I was looking for some advice.
My step-son (8) was with his bio-dad over the weekend. When he got back, I asked him how his weekend was, and he told me "It was boring, most of the time we were just driving around and my dad was selling weed to people".
I'm furious. He's a smart kid, it's highly unlikely that he would make something like this up. And his dad has a history of selling drugs.
His mother and I have decided to not let his dad take him anymore for the time being, but I'm wondering if there is some sort of legal action we can take?
We live in Vermont, where weed is legal. It is illegal to sell it on the street though, especially with an 8 year old child in the back seat.
My only worry is that there is no proof other than what my son is saying. If we report it, will anything even happen? Should we get a lawyer?
Any guidance would be welcome, as I have no idea what to do from here. Thank you in advance.

I ordered a T4 Kaleid after hearing much praise on this sub and impressive Gamepadla scores. I live in a small country so it takes a long time for things to ship and I was greatly anticipating it. While awaiting its arrival I was lurking this sub frequently. The controller came in today after many weeks and I'm in awe at how amazing it feels coming from a third party PowerA Xbox controller. You guys were not exaggerating at all. Thanks to many folks here especially Turdypounds and a Gamesir tech support email I was even able to downgrade it to the version I wanted. I feel like I have a controller that's too good to be true now for £35, I feel the need to play all my games over again. Thank you friends

I know I'm being dramatic but I am really considering switching my main platforms from Xbox to Playstation due to Microsoft Rewards. I was such an avid user of the program. It was like a game for me. I'd do all the daily stuff and Quests on Xbox.
Then out of nowhere I discovered I was suspended. Never changed regions, never used any bots, didn't have multiple accounts. Regardless, my real issue is the horrible support. First, the support page is grayed out (as many of you know) so you can't even fill out the form. I've contacted support 5 times and all I get is the run around.
I was a lifelong Playstation and Nintendo gamer and this generation I decided to bring my wife and kids into the world of Xbox. I purchased a Series S for the living room with 4 controllers and a Series X with 2 controllers for the gaming room. I spent so much time in the Xbox, Microsoft, Game Pass and Rewards ecosystem and I can't believe that I literally can not even speak to a live person about this issue.
Over my decades with Nintendo and Playstation I've at times had issues with their products and I've never had any issues getting help. I Know rewards is such a minor thing but the principal of the matter is just getting to me.
Now to top it off with all the PR missteps and broken promises coming from the Gaming side, I really just feel like selling all my hardware and getting a PS5 (or maybe a PS5 Pro). This sucks because I really was loving the Xbox community but being excluded form part of it and getting no explanation why is not how you make a customer feel valued.
Oh well, time to speak with my wallet. Anyone else this fed up or am I the only obsessive drama queen.

Reddit Account: kgdaguy
Discord Tag:justkaegjuice
Name and House: Aelor Belaerys
Age: 25
Cultural Group: Valyrian
Appearance: Silver hair kept short but wild in appearance, purple eyes and of average height. Prefers to wear an amethyst in his right ear ensnared by a white serpent, similar to that of his house banners and rarely ever without perfumed attire.
Trait:Agile
Skill(s):Dragonrider, Nimble, Skulker, Ravenmaster, Infiltrator
Talent(s): Fishing, Painting, Likes to sing but not the best at it.
Negative Trait(s):
Starting Title(s):Heir to Aegon’s Rest, The Father’s Flame, Dragonlord
Starting Location: Opening Party
Alternate Characters: N.A

Bio

Aelor Belaerys was born on Dragonstone to Baelor and Baela Belaerys. His father was occupied marching with the Targaryens leaving his mother to birth the child with the aid of Dragonstone servants. He would be the eldest of their two children with his sister Aelora being born a few years after and from a young age, Aelor was expected to follow in the footsteps of many Belaerys before him.
He was set to be a warrior, a man sworn to serve the Targaryens with nothing but a farm to his name. A faded legacy clung onto his name but even young, his mother would often tell him that she’d prayed to Arrax, the father of all Valyrian people, that her child, her jewel, would one day find great power and restore their house to its former glory.
For seven years he’d live on Dragonstone and for a short period in Aegonsfort before the King was killed, by Tullys they’d claimed. Aelor was too young to understand what had happened but he remembers his family moving to the Riverlands where they ‘had a new home’ given to them by Visenya Targaryen, the Warrior Queen.
Life seems perfect for Aelor who has taken to the role of heir quickly. Where he was once destined to learn how to wield a blade, instead Aelor found himself a fan of the finer arts, things like painting, singing and singing had filled his time. That bothered his father who believed that his heir needed to be a strong knight in hopes of filling his boots upon his death.
That displeasure grew into rage when the Maesters told Baelor that Aelor would often ignore lessons, when their Master-at-Arms told him that Aelor skipped training sessions and worse when Aelor instead skipped lessons and training all together to paint a ruined tower of Aegon’s Rest.
But before Baelor could lash out, his beloved Baela would die unexpectedly, the cause unknown but natural according to the Maesters. This alone would give Aelor a few years of reprieve from punishment as Baelor pulled his claws away from all his children and focused on his lordship.
They’d return when Aelor was fourteen however when the boy had begun to spend too much time with the Rivermen smallfolk in one village or another. By this point the Maesters had grown tired of Aelor, he was rebellious, quick to let his temper run wild and worse, dyslexic which made learning a battle in itself.
For all the perceived problems that Aelor had caused his father, Baelor decided the only way to correct the boy was lock him away in the castle and ensure he was taken to all his lessons by a flock of servants, but unlike the ones from the Riverlands, Baelor ensured only men and women from Dragonstone and Driftmark surrounded the boy.
In 16 AC, after four years of trying to correct Aelor’s foolishness, Baelor finally had enough after Aelor’s constant escapes, ploys and just in general sheer dimwittedness he decided it was time to replace him as heir and worked on getting remarried, asking the Queen Rhaenys to aid him in finding a wife amongst the Westermen.
And so Baelor brought Aelor into his solar, where he’d tell his son plainly that he’d found a match in Jeyne Westerling. Expecting the boy to lash out, he’d run around the fact but eventually he’d say it plainly. Aelor would no longer be his heir when their son was born, he would lose his inheritance for he was a dimwit, a shame upon their house and a disappointment to his father.
Aelor would never forget those words.
He’d gathered plate armor, a sword and some gold, much to his siblings, cousins and uncles dismay and ran off to King’s Landing. Few knew his surname when he’d arrived and that resulted in the young boy joining the first group of hedge knights he’d come across.
For six months he’d leap from one to another until he’d settled down with a group of older knights led by Ser Jon Costayne. A reachmen who’d jumped ship when Aegon first landed made for a perfect mentor to the young Belaerys, he was everything he’d wanted his father to be and Jon was in need of a squire so he’d take him in.
Life was sad and dark for him during the two years he’d spend as a hedge knight traveling the Crownlands and the Vale. At some point he’d even made it to White Harbor before sailing back go King’s Landing.
During his time with the band, the Costayne would often jokingly call him a Dragonlord, in part harmless joking but some bit of it often followed him telling the boy to make for Dragonstone to tame one of the beasts that lived there.
Jon would often say that Aelor and Aegon were only a few letters apart, why couldn’t the Belaerys take the Black Dread? When he’d tell him that the Queens would take his head, Jon would claim the Big Bitch could take both the Queens and then some.
Eventually those jokes however turned serious and Jon convinced him that the only way he’d get out of his slump, that he’d keep his inheritance was to take a dragon from the island Aelor once called him. Had it not been for news reaching him that his younger brother had been born, Aelor might have shrugged it off and kept to his lonesome life.
But the birth of Aegon Belaerys to Baelor Belaerys and Jeyne Westerling lit a fire under him. One fierce enough to cause him to make his way to Dragonstone, up the Dragonmont and into the lair of the a dragon he’d heard much of from his upbringing.
Veraxes
His mother used to tell him that there were two dragons that all the naughty boys and girls should avoid for fear that they would sense their bad tendencies and eat them whole. The first was Cannibal, a foul creature that ate it’s own kind and spared no little boy either. The second…now that one was one that used to scare him most as a boy.
But he was no longer a boy. He had sought her out. Brought with him meats from his family's old farm now run by the seeds of House Targaryen.
She was said to be ugly, that her belly was filled with cattle, children, and just about anything that bled. That she would eat until she was incapable of moving. The Golden Menace they’d call her for her tendency to burn those who came too close or simply bothered her while she ate elsewhere on the island.
He would see her as anything but a menace that day. Now her weight he couldn’t change but her demeanor was unlike what they’d all claimed it to be. The She-Dragon turned her gaze from the bones of cattle she was picking away at. Even in the dark lair he could see those bright golden eyes watching his every move.
She rushed forth, the ground shook with each step the rotund dragon took until she was practically atop Aelor and then she let out a snarl. He’d later learn that this was simply her way of telling him that he would not get her food, she’d taken it herself and not a soul could take it away from her.
Instead of growing fearful, Aelor held out the cows head for her. Veraxes thought he meant that he’d his own food which meant none of hers was going to be eaten. But then he’d throw it towards her. The first of many offerings he’d make to the dragon.
Over the entire night and next morning he’d slowly inch towards her, pushing her boundaries, each time feeding her as he got closer until he’d eventually be able to mount her the next day.
When she took off for the first time over Dragonstone he’d felt truly alive. He was the first Belaerys Dragonlord since the Doom and he felt great ecstasy for a few hours until he’d realized what this meant to the world at large.
Knowing that if he’d returned to King’s Landing Orys might just decide to kill him the moment he was away from her, Aelor flew home to Aegon’s Rest. There he’d find thousands of men camped outside his home, all prepared to wage a war he’d not heard of.
His uncle Baelon would be the first to see him atop the beast as he’d landed in a field. Aelor would tell him what happened and Baelon would tell the boy that he’d felt great pride in him but war had come and they needed that dragon more than they ever had.
His uncle would tell him that his father Baelor had sided with the Blackwoods in a dispute between them and the Brackens. The conflict had grown larger than just a petty squabble and houses from as far as the North had begun to march for one side or another.
It’d be then that he’d see his father at the gates of Aegon’s Rest, rushing towards him and it would be then that he’d make up his mind and climb back atop Veraxes. He’d wondered if this was what the first Dragonriders had felt like when they’d rode without a saddle.
As the Golden Menace took off and tents flew in all directions, he’d set his sights to the Northeast where he’d followed the River until he’d found a clash between the Brackens and Blackwoods. He’d imagined one side or the other and thought he’d come to help but the Veraxes had come for neither side, not here for either.
In the end, both forces would be given a simple demand. Return to your homes, embrace peace, or stick to your paths and enter the afterlife hand in hand.
All but a few chose to burn.
This would mark the day that the Aelor the world now knows was born. He’d taken inspiration from what he’d thought Aegon, Visenya and Rhaenys had said to those they’d conquered and it had worked. It meant he was like them, a true Dragon in the flesh.
He’d return home after ending that war and write to the Targaryens and the Baratheon letting them know that he’d ended the conflict in the name of the Crown. A hope that it would be enough to placate them enough to ensure they did not hunt him down and it had worked.
His father Baelor seemed to have shifted his tone now that Aelor rode Veraxes, where he’d once called him a disappointment to their bloodline and their people, he’d now call him the saving grace of the House Belaerys.
Aelor did not take a liking to that change but he could not bring himself to say anything, negative nor positive about his father instead he’d simply asked to meet his younger brother Aegon. The boy was like him, silver haired and lilac eyes.
He’d wanted to hate him. To demand that his father send Jeyne off to the Silent Sisters and that the boy be given away to the Faith or the Maesters to do as they wished but he couldn’t bring himself to do that either.
Instead he’d told his father that Aegon’s Rest would be his when he’d died and just as quickly as he’d returned he’d left again. Travel called to him and he’d wanted to show Jon Costayne Veraxes.
He’d spend a few years embarking on his travels, though he’d long leave Jon behind after offering him a position in Aegon’s Rest. His travels would take him to much of the Westerlands, the Reach, the Vale and the Stepstones where he’d met the Queen Rhaenys for the first time. There he’d live for a short period where he’d partake in their parties, meet a girl called Zhoe Whitemane.
Funny thing she was. A Valyrian with the touch of the North. Quickly he’d befriend her and eventually before he’d departed back home, he’d find himself as being more than just the average friend, the type that held hands scandalously.
His return to the Riverlands marked an interesting period. Aelor flies to all it’s corners, no regard for which Lord Paramount claims what domain. The skies of the land that holds Rivers are his and all who sit below them are under his protection, often he’d say he does so in the name of the King but what King?
Only time can tell.

Timeline

0 AC - Born to Baelor and Baela Belaerys.
7 AC - Moved to Aegon’s Rest after King Aegon’s death.
12 AC - Mother dies.
14 AC - Vibes with the Smallfolk around Aegon’s Rest a bit too much for his father’s liking, gets told he cannot leave the keep without his permission.
16 AC - Father decides he’s a shit heir and wants a new one so he weds Jeyne Westerling causing Aelor to run off to King’s Landing.
18 AC - Aelor under pressure from Jon Costayne decides to snatch up Veraxes on Dragonstone the year his younger brother and replacement Aegon is born, securing himself as heir.
19 AC - Begins to travel Westeros, goes to Summerhall and finds out that parties are kind of cool. Meets Zhoe Whitemane and becomes her bff4life.
21 AC - Settles back into Aegon’s Rest.
25 AC - Present.
Family Tree
Name and House: Baelor Belaerys
Age: 45
Cultural Group: Valyrian
Appearance: Long silver hair reaching his shoulders, purple eyes and a slender build. The Lord of Aegon’s Rest naturally appears unamused and irritated in appearance.
Trait:Inspiring
Skill(s): Tactician(e), Cavalryman
Talent(s): Fishing
Negative Trait(s):
Starting Title(s):Lord of Aegon’s Rest
Starting Location: Opening Party
Alternate Characters: N.A

Bio

Born twenty years prior to the Conquest to Monterys Belaery and his younger sister, Jaenara Belaerys. Baelor has two siblings, Baelon and a younger sister named Elaena. He spent his entire youth on Dragonstone until he’d grown to become a member of the household guard for the Targaryens.
During the Conquest, he’d land with Aegon at what is now known as King’s Landing with his father Monterys Balaerys, ever faithful warriors to the Kings cause. He'd die in the arms of his child during the Field of Fire.
He would go down as one of the hundred men who fell for Aegon against the Reach. Even now Baelor can recall the sight, he’d cut down two men when he’d witnessed his father fall as arrows riddle his aged body. Instead of pushing on and charging, Baelor would fall to his knees beside his father and seek to shield him as he looked up towards those banners in the distance.
A red huntsman preparing to let loose once more but then his savior would come. A bright flash turned everything in the distance into flame. He remembers men ablaze running in all directions as they cooked.
Aegon had burnt them too late but he did not blame his kin as his father died in his arms. This was the war they’d signed up for, the cause they’d devoted themselves to. All so they could fight and earn a place in what Monterys called the remaking of Valyria.
And so Baelor continued on in his father’s memory. Loyal and faithful as ever. When the Conqueror took the faith, so did he, when Aegon made North to face the Starks, he marched albeit well behind in the army.
Forever loyal to the cause that was Aegon Targaryen, as many were. But that cause would crumble when the Tullys killed his beloved King, a man he'd served, a man he'd die for, a True Dragonlord.
Much to Baelor's surprise he’d gain a Lordship, his line's long loyal efforts, their staunch desire to fight for the Targaryens and in truth partly sheer luck on his part given he was nothing but a knight swore to the Dragonlords had finally amounted to something.
Visenya would bestow upon him Aegon's Rest. To say that he was surprised would be an understatement. He had no great displays of valor, no moments where he’d made himself any more remarkable than any other man but the Queen had granted his line the burnt ruins of Riverrun, now named in the honor of the man he’d once served.
Still he knew that he was no true Lord, he was but a warrior who had served the Targaryens and he’d wanted his son to be more than that. He knew that his child could do what many before him had hoped for, that he could finally amount to something since the fall and this was his chance to make his ancestors proud.
The boy was young enough that he was easily shaped into the Westerosi way of life in the years following Aegon’s conquest. Aelor had to be a knight he’d thought, skilled in Rivermen matters, charming and bold. That was what Baelor had dreamt for Aelor but his son was anything but the making of a Knightly Statesmen.
Aelor was too slow with a blade, letters move about in his mind and made his Maesters grow tired of the boy and his temperament, oh how horrible the boy was they’d proclaim! Spoiled by his father and mother, by servants and smallfolk who’d thought him charming and sweet.
It was when his sister-wife died that Baelor would lessen his grip on Aelor. Grief overtook him and he’d hoped that would be the wake up call for Aelor but it wasn’t. The boy was a rebel, loved by the smallfolk but too darn incapable of being the perfect Lord he’d envisioned he’d be.
Many years later he’d decide he had enough. Baelor doesn’t recall calling his son a disappointment to his people but he did say the boy was not his heir and that he’d already found a new bride to make one with.
He’d wed Jeyne Westerling the next year and would sire a child with her the year after. They’d call him Aegon in honor of the Conqueror. It’d be months after the birth that he’d receive a letter from Raventree Hall asking for his assistance and given that he’d felt closer to the Blackwoods, Baelor would begin to raise his men in preparation for war.
That was when his son would return, a different man now with a dragon. He’d felt as if the dream had come true, that the House Belarys had returned to their true place on the food chain and he’d wanted to congratulate his son when he’d returned but Aelor fled, his brother Baelon would tell him that the younger Belearys had gone to fight the war.
That made him proud.
And that pride would shatter when Aelor returned and told him he’d stopped the war. The happy and charming boy stood before him stoic, quiet, as if he didn't want to be in the same room as him.
All his son would say was that he’d wanted to see his brother and he saw him. After that, Aelor would say Aegon’s Rest belonged to him and he’d have it once the old man died and that was rather sad to hear from one’s own son.
For years after Baelor would not see his boy but he’d hear that Aelor was see in this region or that region. He’d use the boon that came from having a dragonrider son to push himself into powerful places in various courts, Casterly Rock albeit he did not remain there long and of course across the Riverlands as a whole.
His goal was to display power through his son and even if he were away, he’d do it.
When Aelor returned he’d find that his son had forever been changed. No longer was he some great rebellious spirit but instead a man who believed himself better than even his own father. Some of the Smallfolk would even claim that he was the ‘Father’s Flame’.
They did not see his drinking albeit he’d stop eventually. They did not see how he’d carried himself as if he were some God.
Baelor knew that this was what every ancestor he’d had since the Doom had wanted but Aelor was different than most men now and that Veraxes was a pain in the ass to feed.

Timeline

20 BC - Born to Monterys and Jaenara.
2 BC - Sires the bastard Daemon which results in his parents wedding him to his sister, Baela the next year.
0 AC - Lands with Aegon and watches his father die in the Field of Flames due to the Reachmen.
7 AC - Aegon dies, he weeps for his King and Visenya grants him Aegon’s Rest. They dedicate a Dark colored sword akin to Dark Sister on their banners in her honor.
12 AC - Baela dies and he pulls away from his son Aelor.
16 AC - Tells Aelor to kick rocks and weds Jeyne Westerling.
18 AC - Aegon is born.
Baelon Belaerys - Magnate
Aemon Belaerys - Builder

hello reddit! i posted this in a different subreddit as well but i think it could apply here . usually i just lurk through various subs but i honestly dont know what to do in this situation so i figured it wouldnt hurt to ask others. please forgive me for the formatting of this post im writing this from my phone.
i (17f) live in kentucky with my dad and his wife. my bio mom (49f) lives in texas with my sister. i have a part time job as a host at a restaurant chain, and have been saving up money for a few months now. back in late march, one of my favorite artists announced that they were going on tour. there was no tour dates near me but there was one in the city my mom lives in. the tickets were selling out fast, and because of my age i wouldn’t have been able to get them on my own. i asked her if she would use her account to buy my tickets to the concert and i would give her all the money back. she agreed as long as i paid for my flight there and back. in the end she bought three tickets, one for my sister, my older cousin, and one for myself. the plans were very last minute but i sent her $400 the same day. (which looking back was way more than one ticket costed). ever since then ive been saving my money for my flight and my concert outfit. ive been super excited about these plans because i dont get to see my sister outside of holidays anymore, and this artist has been one of my favorites for almost 5 years now.
before i continue i have to provide some context on my relationship with my bio mom. my parents divorced in 2019, i was given the option to stay with my dad or move to texas with my mom. i moved to texas but very quickly realized that my relationship with my mom was not healthy. my mom has anger issues and for many years took her anger out on me. i only stayed because i didn’t want my younger sister to have to deal with this alone. in the 4 years that i lived with my mom she tried to turn me and my sister against my dad, she isolated us from family and anyone who thought she needed professional help for her mental health issues, tried to send me and my sister to a psych ward after i asked to see a therapist (we went through psych evaluations and they determined that we weren’t a threat to ourselves or others and just needed to see a therapist a few times a week so they let us go same day, she was extremely mad about this decision), encouraged me to commit suicide, and even strangled me one time after we had an argument. because of all these things, i moved to kentucky and limited all contact with my bio mom. we went over 9 months without talking, and recently only started talking again because of my little sister’s birthday party. a week or so after that i asked her to buy my tickets to the concert.
fast forward to last weekend. friday i got paid and spent just about everything i had in my savings on a round trip flight to texas. i was set to fly out 2 days before the concert. the plan was to fly in that wednesday, go to the concert on friday, and then fly back home on the upcoming monday. this is where things go south. yesterday was mother’s day, and i had to work a double shift. that morning i posted my step mom and my grandmother on one of my social media accounts for mother’s day, went to church, and went to work soon afterwards. my biological mother had not reached out to me up until around 8pm that night. i didn’t get off work until 9:30pm and it was super busy in the restaurant so i didn’t see the message until i got home. the message said: “I don’t see a Mother’s Day post or nothing! Let me call the bank and dispute the charges for those tickets.” i had just gotten off the busiest shift ive ever worked and honestly was so upset that considering how strained our relationship was, all she was worried about was her image on social media. so i responded and said “you lost your rights to a mother’s day post when you strangled me. the fact that our relationship is as bad as it is and youre worried about a social media post is mind blowing to me. you want a post? act like a mother.” because of this she said that i cant stay at her house, and she’s going to dispute the charge to get her money back from the concert tickets. i requested the money that i spent back from her via cashapp and shes denied every request.
i dont know what to do about this entire situation. i cant get my money back from the tickets because she paid using her card, and the airline will only give me credits towards a future flight. would it be overboard to take her to small claims court? would it even be worth it to try considering the distance between us and court fees? i dont have any money anymore and talking to her isnt helping the situation at all. i have proof of every transaction and my sister was on the phone when we verbally agreed to buy the tickets. i tried to keep certain things vague for anonymity purposes but i dont mind answering any questions you guys might have. i would really appreciate any advice you guys could give me
TLDR: my abusive biological mother cancelled my trip to texas, costing me over $800 dollars. she wont send me my money back and i dont know if i can really do anything about it.

Had my camp almost exactly how i wanted it. I found a pretty cheap plan at a player vendor for the cryogenic bed so i placed it in the upper floor of the Iron Mountain Anvil of which my camp is centered around. I went to scrap the old bed that was in there and wasn't paying attention to where my xbox cursor was and i scrapped the entire building.
I saw all of the stuff under the Stored tab but still a pain in the butt to recreate it all - especially trying to get power inside the building with wires.
You live you learn!

Hi everyone,
Tldr: Please help me come up with a weekly meal plan for my betta. With frequency, portion sizes, etc. I have: - Hikari Bio-gold betta pellets - Fluval Bug bites (tropical fish) - Frozen: Brine Shrimp, Mini Bloodworms, Daphnia - Live Daphnia Any other tips/suggestions are welcome!
Walter, my office's betta, has been on Zoomed betta pellets only for over a year, he ate 2-4 every day. He was bloated and had difficulty swimming so two weekends ago, I fasted him for three days and then fed him frozen daphnia every day, once a day, half a cube, for 5 days. And then I got him live daphnia and gave it to him for 2 days (he loved hunting the daphnia!). He seems less bloated and his swimming has improved but he's still a bottom dweller most of the time. I would like to know how I can vary his diet to avoid overfeeding him and bloating. And because I'm scared of overfeeding, I'm also scared of underfeeding him. Please help!

So, just to give some context as to how my luck has been, a couple of months ago, I had a hard drive showing signs of failure. I rushed to buy a new drive and landed on a 6TB WD drive [WD60EFPX], which I paid a decent penny for [pc parts are expensive here]. I managed to get most of the data out of the old drive into the new one, the old drive actually died at the tail end of the backup process, but ok, I still managed to get most of the data out.
Fast forward to last saturday, 2 months later. Something I left downloading overnight wasn't finished when I woke up and was giving a cycling redundancy error. I checked CrystalDiskInfo and there it was, Current Pending Sector count at 200.
Then I decided to order an external hard drive so that I could backup the most critical stuff and fully format the drive. A few hours before the external HDD gets here, the WD hard drive dies and my PC won't boot with it plugged, at all. It will show up in the bios, but that's about it.
I'm assuming it's over? Any chance at all that this could be something else? bad sata port? bad sata cable? Moody hard drive lol? I've already started the RMA procedure, just waiting to hear back from the company.
In hindsight I should have taken the 2 hour drive to buy the external drive in person. I live kind of remotely, anything PC related requires a trip. But I got lazy and that's what happens. This is the first time a piece of hardware just up and fails on me within 2 months of use. I guess it's bound to happen at some point.

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After being in Inpatient x2 and multiple IOPs I’ve been told by a couple different therapists that things between me (21nb) and my mom (41F) are toxic, but while a couple suggested that my mom may have BPD, my current therapist believes she may be a narcissist so I guess I wanted to post this to both of these subs and ask what you think?
To start off, my mother and I are on somewhat good terms right now, but I can sense that’s going to change soon as I have a car insurance bill that I need to pay for coming up and don’t have the money, so I suspect that I’m going to be getting yelled at. But, overall, since I’ve moved out of the house she’s been much nicer to me and treats me the same as she treats her sister and friends. But things weren’t always like this.
I’ve struggled with mental health for the majority of my life, I started having crippling existential crises around the age of 8 (I don’t know why this started) and barely got any sleep growing up - it was so bad that I could only watch children’s media & YouTube (this sounds weird because I said 8, but this probably continued until I was 16) and anything that involved death/dying was immediately off my radar.
Apparently, according to her, I started sh’ing (cutting) in late elementary school / early middle school, but I have no memory of this, I do however have vivid memories of crying in the shower and repeatedly banging a hard plastic cup on my Tibia to leave massive welt like bruises. So she’s not entirely wrong, and there may be a chance that had also cut myself and blocked out the memory, but I don’t like how she brings it up whenever I mention my one childhood friend. She usually makes a comment about how my friend “convinced me I was depressed” and that I “self harmed to seem cool to her” I can assure you neither of these things are true. Sure, we were both little ‘emo’ shits when we were 12 but we were always there for one another and she would have never told me to do that, and I would have never done that for attention… if I hurt myself it’s for a reason.
Around this time, age 12, I had my first serious bought with suicidal ideations, I didn’t want to be alive, but because I was so scared of dying I didn’t want to Jill myself either so in the midst of one of my meltdowns (panic attacks, episodes?? I don’t know what to call them but basically I would cry for hours on end and shake and I felt like I couldn’t breath and it felt like nothing would fix whatever it was I was freaking out about) but in the midst of one of those I basically admitted to wishing I was never born, I was seeking guidance and love and help, but instead I was met with her screaming at me claiming “that was the worst thing I could have ever said to her” and that “I’m ungrateful” and basically she made me feel incredibly guilty for feeling how I was and I ended up having to crawl into bed with her and hold her and make her feel better when I was the one who was in so much pain at the time.
This happened often, I was made to feel incredibly guilty for what I feel like are normal things / boundaries. Another example of this was when I was 16-17, we went to one of her friends family pools, and I hate pools, I hate getting into swim suits I hate the idea of people seeing my body but at this moment in particular I was in a very abusive relationship and also had the mental toll of him blowing up my phone & asking for nudes, as well as the mental toll that I had carved the word ‘bitch’ into my thigh and I reeeeaaalllllllllly didn’t want my mom / her friends / her friends family to see that so I opted for going, but not swimming. But after she had had a few drinks she felt like I should try and swim with the other kids, the other kids being 6-8 year olds - I’m not great with kids, but they seem to love me, and one little girl in particular kept asking me to swim, and I politely declined but I told her I would throw one of those underwater torpedo things for her to try to dive and find - but this I guess was the straw that broke the camels back, my mom ended up pulling me aside and scolding me telling me I’m such a bitch and that I shouldn’t have even come if I was gonna act like that, I didn’t want to go - in fact I had made it very clear my whole life that I don’t like pools and I put up a small fight about having to go there in the first place, but this didn’t matter and I ended up having to swim anyways, and at this point I didn’t want to get out of the water because of my legs so she I guess took this as her ‘winning’ cause she later made a comment about how much fun I had once I actually got into the pool.
Another instance, somewhat involves my abusive ex - but when I was like 16-17 I was taking AP bio and had a very important assignment due and had the whole entire weekend to work on it, which I NEEDED because it was like 80-100 questions and I wasn’t that great at bio. But, when I got home on Friday I had to go to work and planned on spending my entire Saturday working on it, but that day happened to be my little cousins birthday party so we went there & I was told that I could leave early, but they then started drinking and I was forced into staying later than I wanted to be the DD for her & my step-dad as well as my two younger brothers (they weren’t drunk / drinking they just also needed to go home) and I ended up breaking my permit driver curfew by like an hour and was freaking out about getting pulled over the entire time. When we got home I had no time to keep working on my project because it was already 11:30 and I needed to wake up at 4am for work. I ended up getting up for work, going to work, and then around halfway through my shift I had a panic attack and needed to leave because all I could think about was my homework assignment, I even called my mom and told her I was coming home early to work on my homework assignment. When I got home, she was drunk and told me that before I did my assignment I needed to pack my room up because we were moving in a few weeks, and I politely said that I would do that but I needed to do my homework first because it was a lot of my grade and going to take a long time. So I went upstairs, got my laptop and called my now ex-boyfriend for help because he knew more about bio then me. I guess she changed her mind about me doing my homework because she ended up storming into my room SCREAMING at me, I have most of the events of what happened next blocked out but from what I was told by my now ex who was still on the phone at the time that she called me ‘disgusting’ and ‘fat’ (I had? / have? an eating disorder and I’ve never been over 120lbs) and a plethora of other names, she took my dresser drawers out and dumped the contents all over me and my floor and she ended up screaming at me for nearly 20 minutes. My now ex, did not help, and called my dad who wasn’t home, who called my grandmother to check up on me and even though I was so adamant about the fact that I DID NOT CALL HER I got screamed at for getting my grandmother involved.
And whenever I bring up how awful that ex was or how depressed my life was during that time, she brushes it off as ‘everyone was depressed during covid’ or says ‘everyone hated him, he called me childish’ or something along those lines, but she’s never acknowledged how he treated me or made me feel she only got annoyed with him because of how he treated her
There are a few odd instances of her dumping all my things in the middle of the room and telling me to clean it up or else everything was getting thrown away, or calling me a bitch because I refused to drink vodka when we were in Georgia in the middle of summer on a hike because she didn’t bring water - even at like 11-13 I knew that dehydrated you. She constantly looked through my phone / texts with my then partner, then ex, now fiancé lol, and punishing me if there was anything ‘bad’ in there, but we dated for like 2 years before we had even done anything, called me selfish and a narcissist because I loved theatre & said that if you like preforming in front of people you have to be self obsessed - this cause so much emotional damage & made the one activity I had where I felt like I could be myself feel gross and I felt guilty doing it (I kept doing it but got into a habit of messing up auditions on purpose so that I was never ‘the lead’ because if I did end up getting casted as the lead I always felt ashamed or like it was something to hide I never was proud or else that was narcissistic), I’m autistic and something I struggle a lot with is Christmas / presents because it hard to mask and make it seem like you just ADORE the same exact shitty art box from the same 4 relatives every year, but when my younger brother was born he’d just be happy to get presents, so I acted like him one Christmas and got scolded for ‘only caring about presents and not the true meaning of Christmas’ when I was just trying to be the opposite of what I normally get scolded for and that’s ‘not seeming appreciative enough’ when I was appreciative that my family was there, again, I don’t need or want piles of the same shitty art box with markers that don’t work so whenever I got one it was hard for me too seem excited.
The last biggest example I have is that she made me throw my medication out after going to inpatient and claimed all the medicine they were putting on was making me worse, she refused to let me see my dad while I was still living with her even though it was the first time he had been home in nearly 2 years because she thought he was making me worse, and still refused even on Father’s Day - my dad and I have a strained relationship now because he kept getting mad at me for not ‘acting like an adult’ to go and see him, when I was to scared to disobey my mom because she kept threatening to kick me out of the house…
It’s not all bad, I love my mom… I don’t want to go NC or anything like that, but I do want to heal and learn to love myself, and knowing if my therapists are right / knowing what to heal from would be a really nice start

After being in Inpatient x2 and multiple IOPs I’ve been told by a couple different therapists that things between me (21nb) and my mom (41F) are toxic, and a couple suggested that my mom may have BPD. After reading through countless articles on it, I can agree based on scenarios I’ve listed below & I guess I was wondering… how do you start healing?
To start off, my mother and I are on somewhat good terms right now, but I can sense that’s going to change soon as I have a car insurance bill that I need to pay for coming up and don’t have the money, so I suspect that I’m going to be getting yelled at. But, overall, since I’ve moved out of the house she’s been much nicer to me and treats me the same as she treats her sister and friends. But things weren’t always like this.
I’ve struggled with mental health for the majority of my life, I started having crippling existential crises around the age of 8 (I don’t know why this started) and barely got any sleep growing up - it was so bad that I could only watch children’s media & YouTube (this sounds weird because I said 8, but this probably continued until I was 16) and anything that involved death/dying was immediately off my radar.
Apparently, according to her, I started sh’ing (cutting) in late elementary school / early middle school, but I have no memory of this, I do however have vivid memories of crying in the shower and repeatedly banging a hard plastic cup on my Tibia to leave massive welt like bruises. So she’s not entirely wrong, and there may be a chance that had also cut myself and blocked out the memory, but I don’t like how she brings it up whenever I mention my one childhood friend. She usually makes a comment about how my friend “convinced me I was depressed” and that I “self harmed to seem cool to her” I can assure you neither of these things are true. Sure, we were both little ‘emo’ shits when we were 12 but we were always there for one another and she would have never told me to do that, and I would have never done that for attention… if I hurt myself it’s for a reason.
Around this time, age 12, I had my first serious bought with suicidal ideations, I didn’t want to be alive, but because I was so scared of dying I didn’t want to Jill myself either so in the midst of one of my meltdowns (panic attacks, episodes?? I don’t know what to call them but basically I would cry for hours on end and shake and I felt like I couldn’t breath and it felt like nothing would fix whatever it was I was freaking out about) but in the midst of one of those I basically admitted to wishing I was never born, I was seeking guidance and love and help, but instead I was met with her screaming at me claiming “that was the worst thing I could have ever said to her” and that “I’m ungrateful” and basically she made me feel incredibly guilty for feeling how I was and I ended up having to crawl into bed with her and hold her and make her feel better when I was the one who was in so much pain at the time.
This happened often, I was made to feel incredibly guilty for what I feel like are normal things / boundaries. Another example of this was when I was 16-17, we went to one of her friends family pools, and I hate pools, I hate getting into swim suits I hate the idea of people seeing my body but at this moment in particular I was in a very abusive relationship and also had the mental toll of him blowing up my phone & asking for nudes, as well as the mental toll that I had carved the word ‘bitch’ into my thigh and I reeeeaaalllllllllly didn’t want my mom / her friends / her friends family to see that so I opted for going, but not swimming. But after she had had a few drinks she felt like I should try and swim with the other kids, the other kids being 6-8 year olds - I’m not great with kids, but they seem to love me, and one little girl in particular kept asking me to swim, and I politely declined but I told her I would throw one of those underwater torpedo things for her to try to dive and find - but this I guess was the straw that broke the camels back, my mom ended up pulling me aside and scolding me telling me I’m such a bitch and that I shouldn’t have even come if I was gonna act like that, I didn’t want to go - in fact I had made it very clear my whole life that I don’t like pools and I put up a small fight about having to go there in the first place, but this didn’t matter and I ended up having to swim anyways, and at this point I didn’t want to get out of the water because of my legs so she I guess took this as her ‘winning’ cause she later made a comment about how much fun I had once I actually got into the pool.
Another instance, somewhat involves my abusive ex - but when I was like 16-17 I was taking AP bio and had a very important assignment due and had the whole entire weekend to work on it, which I NEEDED because it was like 80-100 questions and I wasn’t that great at bio. But, when I got home on Friday I had to go to work and planned on spending my entire Saturday working on it, but that day happened to be my little cousins birthday party so we went there & I was told that I could leave early, but they then started drinking and I was forced into staying later than I wanted to be the DD for her & my step-dad as well as my two younger brothers (they weren’t drunk / drinking they just also needed to go home) and I ended up breaking my permit driver curfew by like an hour and was freaking out about getting pulled over the entire time. When we got home I had no time to keep working on my project because it was already 11:30 and I needed to wake up at 4am for work. I ended up getting up for work, going to work, and then around halfway through my shift I had a panic attack and needed to leave because all I could think about was my homework assignment, I even called my mom and told her I was coming home early to work on my homework assignment. When I got home, she was drunk and told me that before I did my assignment I needed to pack my room up because we were moving in a few weeks, and I politely said that I would do that but I needed to do my homework first because it was a lot of my grade and going to take a long time. So I went upstairs, got my laptop and called my now ex-boyfriend for help because he knew more about bio then me. I guess she changed her mind about me doing my homework because she ended up storming into my room SCREAMING at me, I have most of the events of what happened next blocked out but from what I was told by my now ex who was still on the phone at the time that she called me ‘disgusting’ and ‘fat’ (I had? / have? an eating disorder and I’ve never been over 120lbs) and a plethora of other names, she took my dresser drawers out and dumped the contents all over me and my floor and she ended up screaming at me for nearly 20 minutes. My now ex, did not help, and called my dad who wasn’t home, who called my grandmother to check up on me and even though I was so adamant about the fact that I DID NOT CALL HER I got screamed at for getting my grandmother involved.
And whenever I bring up how awful that ex was or how depressed my life was during that time, she brushes it off as ‘everyone was depressed during covid’ or says ‘everyone hated him, he called me childish’ or something along those lines, but she’s never acknowledged how he treated me or made me feel she only got annoyed with him because of how he treated her
There are a few odd instances of her dumping all my things in the middle of the room and telling me to clean it up or else everything was getting thrown away, or calling me a bitch because I refused to drink vodka when we were in Georgia in the middle of summer on a hike because she didn’t bring water - even at like 11-13 I knew that dehydrated you. She constantly looked through my phone / texts with my then partner, then ex, now fiancé lol, and punishing me if there was anything ‘bad’ in there, but we dated for like 2 years before we had even done anything, called me selfish and a narcissist because I loved theatre & said that if you like preforming in front of people you have to be self obsessed - this cause so much emotional damage & made the one activity I had where I felt like I could be myself feel gross and I felt guilty doing it (I kept doing it but got into a habit of messing up auditions on purpose so that I was never ‘the lead’ because if I did end up getting casted as the lead I always felt ashamed or like it was something to hide I never was proud or else that was narcissistic), I’m autistic and something I struggle a lot with is Christmas / presents because it hard to mask and make it seem like you just ADORE the same exact shitty art box from the same 4 relatives every year, but when my younger brother was born he’d just be happy to get presents, so I acted like him one Christmas and got scolded for ‘only caring about presents and not the true meaning of Christmas’ when I was just trying to be the opposite of what I normally get scolded for and that’s ‘not seeming appreciative enough’ when I was appreciative that my family was there, again, I don’t need or want piles of the same shitty art box with markers that don’t work so whenever I got one it was hard for me too seem excited.
The last biggest example I have is that she made me throw my medication out after going to inpatient and claimed all the medicine they were putting on was making me worse, she refused to let me see my dad while I was still living with her even though it was the first time he had been home in nearly 2 years because she thought he was making me worse, and still refused even on Father’s Day - my dad and I have a strained relationship now because he kept getting mad at me for not ‘acting like an adult’ to go and see him, when I was to scared to disobey my mom because she kept threatening to kick me out of the house…
It’s not all bad, I love my mom… I don’t want to go NC or anything like that, but I do want to heal and learn to love myself more, and I can only really do that once I better understand what happened / why things turned out the way they did
cute kittens eating salmon

[First attempt]
Dear Agent,
EXISTENTIAL FREEDOM is a spiritual fiction told in the second-person at 43k words. This story contains the transcendental journey of the self found in Richard Bach’s Jonathan Livingston Seagull, wrapped within the eerie backdrop of liminality similar to the internet folk-lore of The Backrooms.
The narrator introduces our amorphous protagonist: hot off the heels of death as they enter a beautiful countryside drenched in perpetual twilight. Their only guides are an anxiety-ridden gut and a restless mind overflowing with intrusive thoughts- instinctual echoes of a past life now forgotten. Despite discovering a lone community among the darkness, these internal apprehensions keep them cloistered and mute from the people.
A lost soul, silently screaming for help.
They inevitably meet Chief, a local sporting blackened sunglasses while stargazing the twilight vista, who recognizes their inner strife and offers respite. The supernaturally perceptive man shares wisdom on how to calm their faculties and find tranquility in the present moment. This is the protagonist’s initial step towards what Chief calls ‘existential freedom’- acceptance of the true self among the universal nature of ‘nothingness’.
Chief shares that he’s taught everyone else in this community. Some have utilized these lessons to lead fulfilling ‘lives’. Others left as everlasting husks without any sense of awareness or mindfulness: ‘suffering a fate worse than death’. Chief disturbingly maintains this to be the beauty of free will, as anyone who comes to this town may stay or leave as they please.
But none have left- including the select few who thrive. The veil of flanking abyss is left unpierced.
Self-imposed limits of the mind, body and spirit will be reassessed. Empathy for the self and others will be discovered. If our protagonist is to truly become free of their internal chains, they must release them willingly and find their true guiding light among the dark. Will Chief’s wisdom lead their vulnerable soul to these waters of salvation, or rather the eternal pitfall of sentient annihilation?
[BIO]