So we've been dating for 11.5 months, in which time we moved in together, met our friends and family, had trips, explored shard interests, and generally had a great time.
In that time, we've had 2-3 bigger fights, but even so they were not that bad: She had a small outburst in public while shopping and I raised my voice when we got back home; I made a joke in public which she was not comfortable with; she said that she was on the fence about having kids mid relationship, but it turned out that was because she is having trouble making longterm plans.
The rest of the time, since we first started talking, we've never spent a day not talking to each other via text or in person, and we never got tiered of it. We both do stuff for eachother: she cooks for us, sometimes I help; I've become tidier and help around the house sometimes (she has a thing for cleaning, but she toned it down); we say and show how much me mean for each other; we keep finding new activities to enjoy together; the sex is the best we've ever had, and getting better; etc.
So what the hell happened?
I was working from home, focused on work (I'm not a workaholic, quite the opposite). After finishing her remote work, she said she's going in the kitchen to put some chips in the oven and make some salads and I said ok and thanks.
Then time passed and she came upset at me, asking rhetorically if I couldn't smell the burnt food. I noticed it then and told her - I guess I got focused on my work, my sense of smell is pretty poor and put it out of my mind, thinking she would handle it. She said she went into the other room to talk to her mother and heard the timer go off (again, something I didn't hear and in all fairness, can barely be heard) but didn't do anything - I gathered she was expecting me to realize and handle it.
I need to mention that at no point did we raise our voice to echother.
I told her that it's ok and soon I'll finish work and help her with the cooking. She was still upset and asked angrily would I still do nothing if the house caught fire. I told her calmly that it wasn't the case. She then controlled herself and walked away, said she no longer feels like cooking, left the salads half done on the kitchen and, when I asked why she was getting dressed, said she went outside for shopping (which she did).
I let her go, figuring it was the best thing to do in the moment. Then, finished my work and called her after to ask what exactly she was planning to cook, so I can do it by the time she gets back. She told me and I told her I'll wait for her at home when she's ready to come back.
I made the food, she got back, I came at the door to welcome her, but she was barely acknowledging my presence and was interacting with the cat.
I let it go and asked if she wants to eat, and she said yes. She made some small talk about the cat, still being very cold, and I asked if she wanted to talk about what happened. She says she doesn't feel that we need to. I said that there is a little need, and she said she doesn't feel like it.
As you can imagine, I was pretty upset by this point, enough that it was starting to show. She proceeded to make small talk again, but I told her calmly that I wasn't interested. After finishing food, I told her I'll be going to the other room to rest and that she's welcome to join me (implied: if she wants to talk about it), but that it's fine if she doesn't (implied: if she needs more time).
Until the end of the day she never came to me and I told her I'll be going to bed, if she still doesn't feel like talking. She said ok and we slept separately.
This morning before going to the office, I asked again if she would like to talk. She said ok, and still coldly, basically the same things she already said, plus that she feels like she isn't heard and doesn't know if she wants to continue pursuing the relationship - my heart sinks.
I tell her that I'm not upset because she got angry (we had a few moments where she would have a quick burst of anger, but we were making progress), but that she was shutting me out instead of talking to me about it, like we usually do (she had trouble opening up in past relationships, and with me it was easier, but not all the time). She said that yesterday I was treating her like a child (???) and that it's best if we continue sleeping separately for a few days so she can rest better (she has some anxiety when sleeping and even slight noises can wake her up), though that's probably not the reason. At one point I asked her what she thought about yesterday while being alone, and she said that she was jealous of a neighbour that has a car and she has to commute (neither of us has a driver's licence, it's harder to get where we live, and we were planning on starting driving school together in roughly a month, after she got used to her new job). When I asked why she didn't use that time to think about our situation, she said that the world doesn't revolve around me.... She also said that she feels the relationship is too much work. I kept asking her what she means, but she just kept saying "i don't know".
Before she left, I told her that we've been happy for a long time, she told me how happy she was with me just the other day and love doesn't disappear in a single day, and that I love her. She said ok. I asked if she could say the same thing, and she said that she agrees that love doesn't disappear in a single day. I asked if she'd like us to at least hug, and she said she wouldn't like it but she'll do it if I need it. I said in that case I don't want it.
Then I changed my mind and told her I'll hug her anyway, before doing so. We cried a little, but she just said bye and left.
That's the long of it. I don't know if it's the external pressure, something I did or didn't do, anxiety because of the future, those damned burnt chips, etc.
She's not a bad person: she's usually very caring and very vocal about how happy she is and how much she appreciates me. She's also smart and tries to work on herself. She's one of only 2 girlfriends I've ever said "I love you" to, and the first one was my first love, ~15 years ago. I'm the first guy she ever moved in with because she wanted to and the first one she ever loved. We're also the envy of other couples with how good we are foto each other.
We both went to therapy in the past - myself in the past, for a few years, which helped, and herself for a few months at the middle of our relationship, which she said helped as well, but not as much as it could have.
We already know we want to marry each other (at least we did) and if we break up, I don't think we can find someone better for us.
TL;DR: We've been like soulmates for the past year but she suddenly got extremely upset/cold and says the rlationship might not be worth it.
I'm lost and heartbroken and I don't know what to do. It all just seems like a cruel joke. I don't understand what happened and I just want us to be happy - what should I do?

Went to my second ever uni counsellor in my life and it was just... weird LOL i wanted to learn how to control my emotions better
i'm sleep being and eating properly, definitely healthy, so she was like it should be easy. A lot of people have problems because they don't listen to my advice, I told them to focus on their task at hand. And she knows it'll be easy for me because she's seen more than 30 thousand clients ?
And even before I started properly she kept assuming things like am i not getting enough sun, period, having trouble with adjusting with school, broke up with my partnemiss them etc...
Just to check im not going crazy but this isn't normal right LOL (tho yeah my problems aren't insane or anything LOL)

Previous entry: https://www.reddit.com/buffy/comments/1cpqgdq/rewatchers_diary_season_2_episodes_5_to_7/
On today's menu: The Dark Age (2x8) and What's My Line (2x9-2x10).
Quick thoughts: The Dark Age is fine, What's My Line is part of why BTVS is great.
The Dark Age
Summary: Giles' dark past comes back to haunt him. It ends up hurting Jenny and distancing her from him.
This was fine. I didn't quite have the greatness which BTVS is capable of, but it was fine.
Random thoughts in a random order:

• In this episode we have the line "three down, two to go". In the next one we'll have "one down, one gone", and I think in the previous episode—Lie To Me (2x7)—there was also some take on "N down, M to go". These phrases always make me think of Willow's "one down" line in Villains (6x20), and the title of the next episode, Two to Go (6x21).
• Ooh, more Ethan! Ethan is great!
• I used to be a teenager, but it's a while ago. I liked Buffy's line near the end, which I'll inadvertently paraphrase: "I used to think of you as a grown-up [i.e. distant], now I discovered you're a person [i.e. relatable]". I think I must have forgotten the teen perspective and just how big the gap feels. The ages in my current friendship circles spans four decades. The scoobies at some point refer to Giles as "their grown-up friend". Huh, I guess I'm someone's grown-up friend, and my life feels less weird than the show is made to look on that occasion. Oh well, we have a shared recreational activity in real life, so the friendship that spans a big age range is genuine; affectionate as it is, Giles and the scoobies have more of a working relationship than a friendship. (In my book Giles hasn't fully stepped into the surrogate father role yet.)
• I guess I should talk about how this is a cautionary tale to young people about bad decisions in one's youth having the capacity to exact a price later in life. Uhm. It is.
• Hey, the morgue where Phillip (Deirdre's victim / transfer target) rises from the apparently-dead, is that the same morgue we saw in Never Kill a Boy on the First Date (1x5)? It kinda' looks like it.
• Yay for Willow being assertive towards Xander and Cordelia, "[either get to work, or] get the hell out of my library!"
• Poor Giles, having to once again face the fact that his actions got one of his friends killed, and now having to consider the fact that they may also get his love interest killed.
• Hey, does this feed thematically into the the way Buffy feels responsible for, in some sense, killing Angel (and making Angelus replacing him) in Surprise (2x13)? I think it might.
• Ooh: in this episode Angel saves Jenny. In Passion (2x17) Angel kills Jenny. (Yes, okay, Angelus.)
• Giles' irresponsible decisions almost got Jenny killed. Buffy's irresponsible decisions—unleashing Angelus—actually got Jenny killed.

What's My Line
Summary: Career day at school. The next slayer, Kendra, has a short enemies-to-rivals-to-friends with Buffy. Drusilla is restored while Spike is injured during the attempted escape, and Angel is injured during Drusilla's restoration ritual.
Oh boy, this is great. Random thoughts in a random order:

• Ooh, more Terminator references! Buffy is targeted for termination by (a) someone disguised as a police officer; and (b) a shapeshifting creature made of liquid metal maggots.
• Buffy is already doing uh supernatural community policing, so her as a police officer makes sense. I've not read the comics but I've heard she actually becomes a LEO. Her future as a LEO doesn't get much screen time, but I was still surprised by how much.
• But her actual career right now is being the Slayer, and Kendra shows Buffy how to do it by the book™.
• In that light, it's interesting that Buffy's determination increases a notch when she realizes it's personal: "no one messes with my boyfriend!"
• Willy! Ooooh I like Willy the slime ball.
• He suggests Buffy and Kendra might do "art photography, but naked". Buffy is 16 which is less than 18. Given SMG's age and look, Willy might have overestimated Buffy's age—but still, if such photography happened it would legally be ch*ld p*rn. I recall Buffy dismissing Willy with a disgusted face. I'm not sure how I feel about the show not commenting more strongly on this.
• On a lighter note (maybe), there was such a wonderful scene with Spike holding Drusilla in his arms and the two dancing after Spike talking about dancing on the slayer's grave. In Crush (5x14) Spike would happily dance with Buffy on Drusilla's grave. Between The Gift (5x22) and Bargaining (6x1-6x2), Spike is deeply troubled by the slayer having a grave. Oh how the tables will turn. And I guess in Chosen (7x22) Buffy is... not dancing, but definitely feeling a sense of relief, while standing atop the place where Spike is buried (the whole in the ground that used to be Sunnydale).
• Spike and Drusilla is an incredibly sexy couple. May I join in, please?
• Oz and Willow, while not yet a couple, are so cute together.
• Xander and Cordelia kiss. They are sooo awkward together.
• Buffy touching and kissing Angel in vamp face at the skating rink: the music makes it appear all romantic and stuff, suggesting that she's mature enough to see the man hiding below the monster's exterior. But really—I think—she's too blinded by hormones to notice the monster and the monstrous pile of red flags.
• Speaking of which, "We have this thing at school / Career day? / How do you know? / I lurk", that came across as somewhat stalker-like behavior to me. When Buffy tries to read Angel's mind in Earshot (3x18) out of jealousy, Angel says "[just ask]". Why doesn't Angel just ask what's going on in Buffy's life, then?
• Drusilla has been wearing her white dress the whole time, which I associate with purity and innocence. When at the end she's restored to her full strength and thus capacity for evil she's wearing all black. A nice contrast.
• Drusilla's white dress makes me think of a bridal gown. I think there ought to be some joke about a vampire couple staying together "till death do you part", but I haven't quite nailed it yet.

Updated episode tier list:

• S-tier: 7
• A-tier: 9 10
• B-tier: 3 6 > 1
• C-tier: 8 > 5
• D-tier: 2 4

A little backstory for understanding. I (F18) have always always wanted to go to college in California, my brother (M 20)is in the military in Camp Pendleton and me and him planed on getting an apartment together when his contract is up as he wishes to stay in california, we are very close. This plan did not end up happening as I got into a good school in Chicago and I was pretty much forced by my mom to go.
I am completely miserable there, I lived in a single dorm and made no friends my first year. I went from work to school to home. I wasn’t out partying or anything and yet still managed finished with a 1.9 gpa. All while paying 70K a year. My family is very poor so I had no financial help and had to take out loans for a school I don’t want to go to. I think I’m about to be expelled for poor academic progress and to to be honest I couldn’t be happier about it I hate it there so much. Despite this, I like school and I know college is for me.
I met my boyfriend of a year and some change through my brother, he is also military. We have been long distance for a while and it’s been difficult and I really miss him. He has suggested/ begged that I do my original plan of going to school in California and I am considering it. I applied to the San Diego City College for much cheaper than my school now and I have enough money saved for an apartment. I work at a Starbucks now and they said they could transfer me to a store out there. I really feel I would be happier living out there with my brother and boyfriend.
My question is am I being naive and ridiculous for wanting to do this and be with my boyfriend? And am I being selfish for leaving my mother alone? I brought the idea up once to her and she vehemently denied the idea and shamed me for being dumb and boy crazy, is she correct?

I have tried working other jobs in finance and insurance. But I am utterly miserable and kinda suck at it to be really frank. The only way I kept my job was by kissing the right butt. I had a job in finance and got fired. I now work in insurance and while my team lead thinks I'm a dullard who moves too slow, my supervisor and the head Honcho at this office loves me.
Anyway, I hated working in human services, especially case management, when I got paid peanuts just to do the stressful job itself. I loved my clients and gave my heart and soul to my work. I watched children with disabilities learn to walk, talk, communicate, and stay in school. One parent even reached out to me to say her kid got into college; he was in middle school when I first worked with him and I feel old now. I also worked with people who made a bad decision with addiction. And the thing is, they weren't bad people. I learned that they were depressed, lonely, and scared people who didn't know what options they had when it came to managing pain, mental illness, or suicidality. I watched them beat addiction and become good friends, family members, and spouses. I once saw this young woman being welcomed into her parents home once again, keys to the house placed in her ha ds, when she completed one year of sobriety from heroin. And that meant a lot considering how she was so consumed by addiction that she stole from her family to get drugs. To see someone be taken back like that pulled my heart strings.
People told me I was empathetic, strong-willed, and dedicated. But I got tired of it at some point. I was sick of being blamed for something that was simply out of my control. I'm there to help people not force them to make decisions. I got tired of having no work-life balance and sick of bringing my stress from work, home. I also got so sick of being obsessed with my work (that was my fault though), and taking it to heart when someone still ended up dropping out of school, went back to jail, relapsed on drugs, and so on. I also got tired of not being a le to meet my needs. I have medical bills and health issues of my own to tend to, and will need to pay more if I had a family. It's pretty upsetting knowing your friends who have the same level of education as you make significantly more than you, all because a younger version of you felt money didn't matter.
I tried helping people by simply being a good friend, family, or neighbor. Many of my clients needed that and wouldn't have been in their horrible situations if they had that. Yet it wasn't enough because I'm not good at anything else.
When I say I'm good at helping people, I mean that I fit right in and actually felt like I was a part of something. My clients were the ones who were good at solving their problems, I was just there to help navigate.

Im a 23M currently living at home with my parents in Hawaii. This week I'm traveling to Denver for a friends wedding. I've been contemplating for the last few months if I should end up staying there after the wedding and not go home.
My mental health has been on the low for the past few years. I moved to the mainland for college after high school and I loved it! There are way much better opportunities than living in Hawaii. Plus the cost of living is cheap. Unfortunately, I moved back home during my last year of college. I was going through a lot of shit in my life which caused me to drop out and commit suicide. I've been at home for the past two years living with the parents and working.
I feel like I'm finally coming out of a depression and want to better my health and life. I want to get off of this island and live my life. I am going to be 24 and I really dont know how to live on my own away from my parents. Yeah, I was away from them in college but they still payed for my tuition and housings. In a way I was still living off of them. Now, though I have my own money, Im still basically living for free rent and food. As a human being, I need to know how to take care of myself. I need to learn how to be independent on myself and not my parents. My parents are also very controlling over me. I just think if I continue to live under their control my mental health will not get better. What if moving could be actually better for me? I love my family but to be honest I'm not close to them anymore. I think its because Im starting to realize that they can be toxic. I dealt with a bunch of childhood stress and trauma because of them.
I would love to move to Denver. I've visit the city a couple times in college and I actually wanted to live there at one point. I am really deciding if I should just stay there while Im there? I have 1.7k in my bank and have a couple years of work experience from living at home. I know its not enough. I could simply go back home save up more. But tbh, If i went back home I don't think I'll ever leave. How realistic would it be for me to move to denver last minute with little money, no job, and no place to live?

I (51M) met my wife (53F) when I was just 19. We dated a year before moving in together and then got married two years after that when I was still just 22. She was my first and only, but I wasn't hers. I don't feel like getting married young was a problem in itself, but I do feel like my entire marriage has been a lie and if I had been more experienced I would have done something about it sooner.
She seemed to have a great work ethic, having worked all through high school and college. She told me she was never without a job. Despite being younger I majored in computer science at just the right time and so I was making more than my parents by the time I was 20. We made an agreement that I would cover all of the fixed expenses and she would cover the other costs. However, it was always difficult to get her to pay her fair share and I usually ended up paying it. For example, I bought myself a car but when she needed a car she agreed to make the payment. She did it for about a year before I got tired of having to harass her to make it on time so I started paying it and she could pay me back. Except she never paid me back in a timely manner if at all and whined about it. This pattern continued until she ended up not working at all with me covering all of our expenses. That wasn't the agreement and I resent that. I do well so we still have a nice life, but it could be SO MUCH BETTER if she had just worked more often. I did the math and even at minimum wage she left hundreds of thousands of dollars (almost a million) in potential earnings on the table. We never had kids so I don't know why she felt so entitled. It was always one mental health crisis after another that kept her from working or quitting the jobs she did have within a year or two but never any desire to actually do something about it.
My wife was also really sexual and was the one to take the relationship in that direction but once we got married it stopped almost overnight just like the career did. We had several years long dry spells and the latest one is old enough to drive now. Not only did the sex stop, but so did all other affection. She was never super affectionate, but whatever did exist disappeared completely. She says it is because she was lacking self-esteem, felt like a burden to me, and never felt like an equal partner. There is truth to that, but how can I treat her like an equal partner when I am constantly carrying her water whether it was financially or even just bearing the emotional brunt of her moods. I never felt like she was lifting me up or giving me her best. It was always so one-sided.
When I had my 50th birthday last year I started some reflection and I feel like my entire marriage with her has been a lie. We weren't romantic partners or financial partners like she lead me to believe. What we have been is best friends and roommates. There is value in that, but it's not all I wanted out of a marriage. My lifestyle is very much below the standards I want it to be, especially compared to my peers. My sex life is non-existent. I am depressed. I am angry and resentful at her.
TBH, I think I want a divorce except we have been together 32 years now and I don't know that I can throw away my best friend in pursuit of my ideal of a wife, especially at my age. I am in therapy and my therapist says I am just complacent and that I deserve to be happy and so does my wife. She challenged me to decide if I can be happy with her. I just don't know. I love her, but I also don't respect her. I feel like even if a magic wand could make it all like it was at the beginning I am not sure I can let go of all the years of resentment. I feel like she lied and cheated me out of the chance to live a life with someone I was more compatible with. Is it too late for that now? My therapist says it is never too late, but I spent all of my adult life with my wife and I am finding it hard to let that shared history go. I am also worried about what the future might have in store. Without her I will be all alone for the first time as an adult.

I’m a 33(f) from NYC and I don’t know what to do anymore. I have struggled with mental health since I could remember(cptsd, mdd, ocd, general anxiety, autism, adhd). I went from abusive home to foster care to homelessness to getting into subsidized housing by 27. I finally got help once I was as stable as I’d ever been in my life at 30. I was put on meds and I enrolled into school for programming but at 32 I felt myself being pulled into the dark recesses of my mind and everything started to fall apart. I couldn’t get past my severe social anxiety and failed public speaking twice. I tried to ask for a different class but they (school) told me it was mandated. I dropped out instead of tanking my near perfect gpa. That was probably dumb. Then my therapist of two years told me she doesn’t accept my insurance anymore. I made the dumb mistake of switching insurances without even checking if my psychiatrist accepted the new one and couldn’t afford the appointments out of pocket. Meds ran dry before I could find a new doctor. When I finally had the new insurance and tried to make an appointment with my therapist, she had moved on, I don’t know if it was out of state or just moved to a different clinic. They didn’t give me any info on that.
I fell into one of the deepest depressions of my life in 2023. My hair got matted from not washing it. I had to cut it all off. I barely washed my body. Or ate. I was stuck. And it’s only at the turn of the new year that I feel like I’m resurfacing. Just enough to feel guilty about letting my two children, 16 and 5 see me this way. Their dad lives here and took on everything when it came to them but he can’t help me anymore than he has. I have to get myself out of this. I still feel paralyzed. I told him I’m tempted to call social services on myself. I know it sounds like learned helplessness or whatever. I need someone to keep tabs on me. Make sure I stay on my meds, keep on top of appointments. I can’t keep falling into these pits and not have any safety nets. And I realize this battle is lifelong. I have no family and all my friends I have I made in grade school. They’re either busy with their own lives or moved out of the city. I’ve never been the most social to nurture friendships. I’m alone. And I’m afraid to lose myself again. I love my kids so much but it’s not enough to get me where I need to be. I’m ashamed of myself. I’d also love to find my (found) family. I don’t know how to do that. Any advice.

Ironically enough a great podcast that’s pretty easy to digest is the UFO Rabbit Hole. I love Kelly’s take on everything and she brings up really good points. She’s open to being wrong and she honestly just wants this to be an open conversation.
If anyone does really want to deep dive into stuff there’s also News Nation’s report on George Knapp. His take and journey into this field is very interesting and intriguing. Some crazy stuff and idk how I feel but I’m admittedly hooked.
https://youtu.be/hD7uPnXQDSo?si=5jw2oq0mYfJsrAdA
There’s also the US National Archives W. Glenn Dennis interview from 1990. It’s raw footage of an interview of Glenn who was contracted by the military in Roswell for funeral home services. He has some very interesting and strange claims but he seems very sincere with his story and it’s kind of hard not to believe him. But I’m really curious to know what others think.
https://youtu.be/_DA-g94Ro1I?si=fc2i2ctVEgW4JNip
This last one is my personal favorite ufo case, the Ariel School Incident in 1994 where 60+ school children between the ages of 8-12 saw a craft and/or actual beings in Zimbabwe. They were interviewed and asked to draw what they saw and it’s super fascinating. There’s a 50 minute episode on it on Netflix (Encounters episode 2), but I recommend the documentary Ariel Phenomenon (on YouTube, iTunes, and Amazon) because it goes into more depth about the details. Both documentaries are good though because they interview the school children now as adults to see what and if their perspectives have changed.
Honestly my stance before everything was there’s most likely life somewhere out there and maybe they visited earth, but I didn’t think there was so much on this topic. Abductions, government involvement, etc were hard to believe but now I don’t know especially with the push from congress for disclosure. Something is definitely going on, whether it’s man made or extraterrestrial.
I have more cases/interviews if anyone is interested lmao. This topic has honestly been consuming me 😭

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/ThrowRa-Alergy posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 9th May 2024
Update - 10th May 2024
​
AITAH for telling my bf that his daughter is not allowed in my apartment because she doesn’t stop smuggling peanuts in?
​
I can’t have any contact with peanuts and I am terrified of them due to some bad experience ms ending up in the hospital. I have my shots now on me all the time. It is not exactly airborne but I could have irritation and if it for example touch something that had been in contact with peanuts i could have swollen eyes and itchy nose and throat. Ingesting is fatal.
She is 14 and has no respect what so ever for my anxiety. My bf and I moved in and she lives with us every other week. Now I told my bf that I don’t want her here because she is not respecting my boundaries. But that I understand that he doesn’t want to live with me in that case we could revert back to him being with me when he doesn’t have his daughter. He got very upset because he said that he loved me and wanted a real relationship and to live in one home.
So I told him that maybe he should be with someone who isn’t allergic then. He thinks I am being very unfair. He said well, she will probably hate the next one too and the next and the next because she wants her mom and me to be together again so it wasn’t “me specifically” that she dislikes. I said that maybe he needs to take a break from dating then until she is onboard but he said that he couldn’t be single just because his daughter wants him to. Before me he was single for 6 years and that wasn’t good enough.
Before we decided to move in together, we have done some “trial” living together and never once did his daughter do anything about the nuts. But now for 4 months she has always peanuts with her. I don’t know why she is doing this. I thought we were cool. She just smirks and says maybe if you are so allergic, maybe you’re not meant to survive(a stand up comedy bit from Louis CK)
​
Comments
​
ERVetSurgeon
NTA but you need to leave this relationship. She thinks it is funny and he doesn't care. The amount of disrespect for your health is amazing.
​
CruelxIntention
This. He’s allowing this instead of getting to the core of it and putting the child in therapy where she clearly belongs. She’s plenty old enough to know this can kill someone and to have complete disregard over that shouldn’t be overlooked. You may love this guy but I’m betting you love breathing more.
​
WonderingGemini84

"You may love this guy but I'm betting you love breathing more."

THIS!!!
You can not love someone when you're dead.
The boyfriend doesn't seem to realise how serious "the no peanuts"-thing is. This is a non-negotable. Your home should be your safe space, she doesn't respect that and he doesn't hear you (or doesn't care enough)
Throw them out OP!!!
​
weeperOfChimneys
NTA, she has all but said she's attempting to kill you with peanuts. Quoting a comedian doesn't make it funny or acceptable. He hasn't bothered to search her and divest her of the nuts when he picks her up either.

OOP: He offered this as a suggestion. Visitation before she entered my apartment but I don’t want this kind of life. I was fine only seeing him on his weeks off. But I understand that he wants something more permanent than meeting every other week so he probably should find another woman

​
YoghurtSnodgrass
She would probably just hide peanuts around his place for you to hopefully come in contact with. Just break up. His kid is trying to kill you.
Where is she even getting all these nuts from? Is her mom buying them for her? Does she buy them from a vending machine at school? How crazy is the little turd?
​
**Judgement - NTA*\*
​
Update - 1 day later
​
Hi everyone! Thank you so much for really caring about a stranger with a dilemma. I was glad that I wasn’t wrong in my guts. I told my bf that I wanted to break up.
He was very sad and tried to reason with me. He suggested that we could live separately. His daughter will soon be an adult. I told him that being 18 doesn’t guarantee that she leaves the nest nor that he stops being a father either. Any time she could come across hardships and wants to move home and she needs to find that home. She couldn’t have it with me.
And about living separately, while it is fine now and some few years ahead. What about the future?
He was silent and listening to me. I felt overwhelmed because I love him. He said that the only way his daughter will be happy is when he is alone. She is in therapy but she has not shown any regards for her father or his life. She seems to not see him as an individual with feelings. He is just a father. I didn’t know what to tell him and just said that she probably needed time to grow up.
Until he moves out, his daughter is not allowed to be in my apartment. She called and threw a tantrum about her father choosing me instead. That she has the right to live with her father every other week and this shouldn’t change. I didn’t say anything, they need to fix this as a family, I am not a part of this family anymore.
He rented his apartment for a year’s contract so I don’t know how he will manage to find a new or terminate the lease so he could move back to his old apartment. Anyway he is staying here for a couple of months.
I am very sad that this beautiful relationship has come to an end. But I need to think about myself now.
​
Comments
​
he_nooch73
Know you made the right choice for you, your health, your safety. As someone said in your other post ‘you may love him, but you probably love breathing more’. I think you’re right about his daughter never accepting his partners. He needs to address this with her in therapy. I hope her therapist knows about the peanuts because her behaviour is truly disturbing. I’m so sorry your relationship had to end.
Commercial-Ask3416
I feel so bad for you and your boyfriend. I feel like he is stuck between a rock and hard place regarding his daughter. I know people are saying he should discipline her or this and that, but it sounds like it wouldn't work and that she would likely escalate. I work with kids like her. Hoping her not being able to live with her dad the next few months will be a wake up call for her but in my experience I doubt it. Good luck to the both of you, especially him as he has to deal with the fallout. Not your monkey, not your circus anymore.
​
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Payback_paycheck2 deleted from /borrow

• Link to the deleted post
• Was a selfpost with score: 1
• Submitted 2020-02-01 00:13 (UTC)
• Was up for for approx 1564.24 days
• Probably deleted within the past 21.94 days
  • Was last seen up around 2024-04-22 07:30 (UTC)
  • Deletion detected at 2024-05-14 05:58 (UTC)

Active loans

• redditloans.com mobile search
• Could not fetch loan data from redditloans.com (error?)

Quick search

• Search for all deleted posts by this author

Title

REQ (Repay $130, in full by March) (Paypal)

Post contents

I had to quit my job due to college and some other stuff. If it interest any of you the other stuff was due to a deadline that my job set for a paper signing. I had to sign a paper to say I did not get benefits. The day and time they specified was during an ice storm so I had to call in and give my 2 weeks rather than getting fired. I'm from Missouri so these storms have been happening frequently as of recently.
I told both of my parents that I would have a job in 2 months at the most. I am getting my tax return back and should have enough for just about half of the $130, then my birthday is on the 7th and I can most likely pay it all back then. I am in engineering school with 14 credit hours so this has been stressing me out a lot. I missed one payment and now owe $91, I am a full $534 out $500 in debt due to the interest. I was not planning on my job doing this, I worked there for a year prior. The credit is through Paypal, which was a terrible decision on my part. I was planning on building my credit but for those of you familiar with Paypal credit it only reports to the credit companies when something negative happens. By paying $130 it should put me in a comfortable spot to pay the rest off when I get as job and reduce my stress for studies.

i'd received my total aggregate for year 10 yesterday and i messed up so bad. my grades were horrible. i truly don't think i worked hard enough to expect 90s or smth but it was just... a lot. i let everyone down. everything i'd worked towards all my life just kinda came crashing down in that one moment. i don't even know if i can pursue medicine anymore. what's the point if i can't even manage high school? I'm in year 11 right now. i've never felt so lost before.

I need someone to hear me please.
I feel like I’ve failed my parents. I feel like a failure. I barely went to school this year, completed the bare minimum to graduate. And yet here I am. Preparing to stand next to everyone else who tried. Who deserves their diploma.
My dad died in December of 2023. From those of you who have been on this subreddit long enough you’ll recognize my story. Shorty after, my mom was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, and has been in a nursing home slowly declining since February. I see her often. But everytime it’s like a stab to the gut. Seeing my mom in this much pain. So out of it, barely speaking a word. Only 47. It breaks my heart. Nobody deserves cancer. But my mom especially. Because she is the most selfless, brave, kind, loving woman I have ever met. She gave up so much in her life and never complained. Went through cancer 3 times. While my father made it all about himself. Worked her butt off for years, being basically the only income in my household while my dad spiraled into depression and alcoholism.
Don’t get it twisted. I’d do anything for my father to come back. I miss him everyday and love him dearly. But that doesn’t excuse the pain he caused me and my family when he was drunk.
Anyways I’m getting off topic.
I was always the prodigy of the family. Taking college classes in 8th grade. All A’s etc*. When my dad died, and my mom got sick. I didn’t go back to school for months. So stuck in grief, and PTSD, and Depression. I didn’t leave my room for weeks, only to eat and go to the bathroom. Eventually, I had to go back. And I almost didn’t graduate. As I rightfully shouldn’t have. But, I had done all my work while gone. My GPA is a 3.4. So the school, thankfully, is letting me walk.
Despite this. I know I don’t deserve it. I’m not the success story they wanted. “Girl graduates after dad’s death and mom’s cancer diagnosis with honors”.
I’m not a success at all.
I don’t have any plans for my future. My dad’s gone, my mom’s dying. I haven’t told anyone the date I graduate. Haven’t set up a party. I don’t deserve their support. I don’t deserve anything.
I’m so lonely. I miss my dad. I wish my mom could see me walk. I wish they were the ones planning my party. I wish they were the ones sending out announcements. I’m not proud of myself. And I feel like they shouldn’t be either.
I’m usually good with words. But when it comes to this. this ugly feeling. I don’t know how to speak it.
Here’s something I wrote about grief. Or how I’ve experienced it everyday these past months. Maybe someone will understand it too.
“ Grief is one of those things that makes sense when you haven't experienced it. You think it's gonna be sudden. Like a cool bucket of water dumped over your head on a hot day.
A gasp of sudden breath, to make sure you're not drowning in it. In reality, it's not the water you should be dreading. That's the easy part. The shock.
It's the sun.
There's no sunscreen for grief. No way to stop it, to make it hurt less. You can run from it sure, enjoy the day.
But in the end, you're still sunburnt.”
I apologize if this makes no sense. I got sun poisoning last week and am sick af.

disclaimer before I get to the actual post: I’m not self diagnosed (fully support self diagnosis tho) but my country doesn’t use the level system I’m 20F diagnosed at the age of 17. I know I’m pretty good at masking, people who don’t really know how autism usually presents in afab people can tell that there’s something a little off about me and treat me differently but I don’t think it’s enough to the level 2 point? I was completely unable to say even a word to strangers when I was a kid but ig it was just brushed off as being shy. At school I never really talked to anyone and really struggled to understand how the hell do I make friends. It just felt like everyone was in on some big secret to how to socialize and I had no idea what it was. I only started making some friends at the age of 14 when I found other neurodivergent and mentally ill people but even then I always felt like an outsider. I also don’t know if my support needs are level 1 or 2. As a kid and young teen I wasn’t able to keep up with school or daily tasks like cleaning, showering on brushing my teeth. I don’t know why, I just couldnt ever get myself to do it and I didn’t really have a parent to help me with that stuff. I’d spend the whole time playing video games that brought me comfort. Mind you I did live in a pretty abusive household so that also for sure impacted my ability to function. As soon as I turned 18 I dropped out of school and got a job. The dropped out part was a good decision but the job destroyed me mentally. After just the first week I was so overwhelmed and dysregulated I attempted and ended up in a hospital. I went back to work after 2 weeks tho and managed to keep working by abusing alcohol until 3 months later I was so exhausted I ODed again (not as badly tho) to have an excuse not to go to work. I quit the job right after that and was unable to function for the next 3 months after which I gave in to my parents, societal and financial pressure and got another job that I lasted 9 months in. It was a little easier as I made sure I worked only 2-3 shifts a week but eventually once again I slipped into alcohol and my brain and body just stopped functioning properly. My tourette’s also got worse to a point of it making it even harder for me to work as my wrists would lock in one position. It’s been 8 months since then and I’ve slowly realized that I am disabled and I will never be able to live alone. I wouldn’t be able to get groceries, clean, throw the trash out regularly, work enough to afford to live and just do any other adult thing. But then again I know level 2 requires more communication issues? I’m just very confused and bothered by the inability to fit myself into one or another label

Not in a good place mentally, physically right now. Graduated a few weeks ago and turns out, my GPA is a 3.64 (1 C, 1 W, multiple B/B-). In terms of MCAT, i tested on 4/27 and still waiting to hear back. I'm now doubting everything and actively thinking im going to get a 500 and have to retake. Contemplating my existence on this planet and have been stressed constantly since taking the exam. To top it all off, i'm getting a whole ton of imposter syndrome. Thoughts such as "i got through this path just out of luck" or things like "you dont deserve to go to med school" as well as "you're not special or good enough for this" are constantly in my head. When will it stop? Is there a light?
I'm just stressed I guess and im hoping it'll be fine but yeah, not the best time mentally or physically for me. Maybe ranting on here will help but idk. Kind of hopeless rn.

i’m endlessly jealous of my peers who are lucky enough to have minimal familial problems. i can’t even imagine what that life must be like. i am the second youngest of seven kids at seventeen years old. practically every member of my family is exhausting in their own way. of my brothers, one has a history of addiction that has traumatized me and my siblings from a young age and continues to strain the family. another brother is nearly thirty and living at home. he has fallen into the incel right wing lifestyle and has the most insane bigoted opinions (straight up nazi shit) that he constantly shoves in my face. the third brother has gone no contact with the family due to this hellhole and i honestly can’t say i blame him. of my sisters, the eldest has gone into christian fundamentalism and has convinced my mom to force me into church. my younger sister has extreme behavioural issues and seriously screams on a daily basis, has broken my mom’s nose, and throws knives at people. on top of all that, my father is a narcissistic abusive asshole who is extremely neglectful. beyond family stuff, i have never had an ounce of stability my entire life. throughout my k-12 education i’ve attended six schools and moved three times. even now i’m in a weird spot where i don’t have a place to truly call home. this is all an EXTREME simplification and i could honestly write an essay about each point individually. i just wish this wasn’t my life

I am taking the July bar in NY. I need to sign up for Barbri or Themis. They are both the same price. I will also sign up for adaptibar and possibly critical pass if I need it up. But, I am debating if I should sign up for Babri or Themis. I know this question has been asked a million times, but am hoping someone can advise me what is best for someone who has been out of law school for the last 8 years.

1. Graduated law school in 2016
   
2. Signed up for Barbri twice. Took maybe 1/4 of it each time and never put really any time into it other than last two weeks. Failed both bar exams. July 24 is the first time I will be taking the bar since 2020.
   
3. I read that Themis’ lecturers are shorter, not as detailed, but give you black letter of the law. Where as if Barbri’s are more detailed. I remember a few Barbri lectures and yes they were very long and detailed. However, I did learn from them. But because of the length of the lectures, I struggled to spend time practicing MBE essays etc. Again I did not leave myself enough time
   
4. I will have 8 weeks to study. I fear because I have been out of school long, not practicing and not studied in years that these topics may take a while to come back. While I don’t want to have to listen to very detailed lectures and read very long outlines, I also don’t want to not be given good enough explanations or taught lectures that I can’t grasp the concept.
   

Based on this, do you advise Themis or Barbri? Hearing that Themis’ lectures are more just summaries of the black letter of the law concerned me because what if I don’t get that area or struggle? Are the themis lectures detailed enough to learn/grasp the topics if I’ve forgotten them? Does Themis include physical textbooks to work through like Barbri. I do better reading and with writing on paper. Also, how prone is Themis to crashing. That’s another concern I keep reading.
I’m happy to supplement Themis or Barbri with adaptibar and anything else. Obviously I would all love shorter lectures and not as detailed lectures but not if it doesn’t really teach you the subject. But I would love to know what’s recommended for people who have been out of school and not practicing for a while
Thanks!

I’m currently a high school student and have grown up with pretty traditional parents but they are very loving and caring. I genuinely owe them so much and I need to clarify they are great people. I’ve lived under these sorts of restrictions for a while and I’m used to it to be honest.
Here are some examples for context: I once wanted to study with my friend at a Starbucks prior to my exam and to only have my parents believe it was a cover for something else. There have been times when I’ve seen my parents spying on me by trying to sneak by and see who I’m with. This has even happened at where I work as well despite the fact that my job has no breaks. There is also no possible way for me to leave work. They will never admit that they were there too which is what makes me uncomfortable.
For context, I would consider myself a very responsible person. I work multiple jobs, pay for my own things, am one of the top students in my grade, and do not drink or smoke for example. I’m a pretty stereotypical goody two shoes. If that isn’t enough, I do debate and Model UN which says a lot already.
Recently my friend offered to take me with her family for a weekend trip which I have looked forward to following my exams. Their family was planning on going out of town and I have known her for over five years now. She is also extremely responsible and one of my best friends. When she asked me, I replied that my family would say yes. One of my parents is currently out of town however. Initially one of my parents said yes and suddenly changed their answer. The issue is that I had already said I could come to their family as they needed to book tickets for traveling.
We already have the places we want to go to planned out and she still thinks I can go with her. I need to convince my parents to go but I feel like an a-hole for trying to pressure them although they still are not budging. Are they in the wrong for essentially being helicopter parents despite the fact that I am a very responsible person? Their main reasoning was that it is too stressful for one parent to handle this which I do understand yet at the same time I feel as if this is unfair to me as petty as it sounds.
Side note: their family is not going far, just to another city that is closer by and bigger where we can go shopping. We will be supervised the entire time.

Title
Just got told tonight that I'll be loosing a set of incoming freshman because they think the committment to Choir is too high and they want to try sports and Theater.
I'm trying to uplift the status of Choir and demand respect the same as our Dance team does, but it looks like my numbers will decrease from our already measly 13 to... something less than that. Kids just "don't have room in their schedules" or "just wanna sing afterschool"
I don't even know if my one Choir class will be happening next year. I signed my contract but I don't have my rosters yet. I will never hold auditions after scheduling again.
Just frustrated and angry. I was really betting on these kids. I knew them in middle school and they seemed so excited to join. I don't want to dumb down my program but now I may be forced to accept kids that aren't ready or mature enough to perform at the level I want them to and established this year.
Just venting

Hello! I have been working at the place I interned at last year for the last 6 months while I finish up grad school. I help coordinate admissions because we offer Residential Level of Care. I was offered a therapist job there and was basically like “sure, I am interested” when offered the potential position.
However, it feels like working for a start up? Like everyone is working a LOT, we are always short staffed, there is no holidays off/holiday pay, pay is low, residential seems like something I am not interested in, there is a lot of volun-telling, and all of the clinicians constantly seemed burnt out/short on money. My friend took a therapist role there as well, and she has been overworked, exhausted, and sadder than usual. She is looking at other jobs for herself.
My executive director keeps asking about “when I start”. I am not sure if I want to be there anymore. However, I am scared to mention looking around or the fact that I have upcoming interviews because it seems like they have kind of burned other people who mentioned wanting to quit or wanting more pay (ex: took away clients from a clinician who mentioned potentially leaving, telling her she didn’t have enough service units, then threatening to move her down to part time).
Any advice on if I should tell them I want to apply to other jobs, or how I should quit without burning bridges? I have interviews this week and believe I will likely get the role. I am nervous about leaving them hanging especially since a few people quit recently.
Thank you all!

First off, I am referring to people that drive on the wrong side of the road or tight spaces, ones that act like squeeze Benz in heavy foot traffic, ones with no situational awareness, etc. Everyone else, y’all are chill. This also goes out to skaters and bikers, but there are very little problems from them. More than a majority of people that ride dumb are scooters.
You are the BMW drivers of scooters. You ride like you are playing Mario kart. You act like an old head on a Harley thinking you own the road. You think you’re slim enough to pass people smoothly, but make all of us think we are gonna get hit. You speed past every road intersection and foot traffic intersections as if you have a green light every where you fkn go even though there’s oncoming people, riders, and cars from all sides. Let me list each of these negative chromosome people’s biggest flaws.

1. Let’s get the main problem out. WHY THE HELL DO YOU DRIVE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD. You know there is oncoming traffic. You can see us coming a mile away. You can obviously take those 5 seconds to move onto the other side. Don’t worry, the food at the dining hall will still be there. Also, if you drive on the side walk that has a bike lane next to you or on the main campus in tight areas that most riders and walkers can not see you until you get to the intersection because of blind spots (ex. Area around the SS), you’s are stupid.
   
2. Just because you can’t bring a car to school, let alone being able to lease one, doesn’t mean you can weave through heavy foot traffic. As an experienced electric longboard rider, I can understand going past a few people to save some time. But if there is a big group in the direction you’re going, just hop off and walk. Get your above average calorie intake by walking past them. You are not squeeze Benz or those people who weave through traffic on the freeway. Just cause you can’t get a ticket for riding recklessly on campus doesn’t mean to ride like a dick.
   
3. I’m too tired to write this, but I’m assuming you know the rest.
   

For the love of god, unless you want UCR to implement some type of riding system that becomes a cash grab by making us pay for a license to ride in campus or bans it all, just walk or be mindful.