My dad deleted my year 3 save and i was about to finish the community center. its because my ps4's hard drive broke and he had to reset everything. so he did it without telling me and told me the next day. I screamed and shouted why he didnt inform me first so at least i could say goodbye. he just doesnt understand and kept question what he called my so-called 'connecttion' with the game. he said i was overreacting that the save didnt matter. when i kept talking he just said that he didnt know that it was this important (he was still acting like i was wrong) and that none of the games on their that he played mattered a lot to him. never thought that this was how things would turn out for my save. welp, ill go screw myself. see ya

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I've always had a crush on Grethel, ever since we met in freshman year. He was smart, funny, kind, and handsome. He was also the half-brother of """Josh Gogh""(not his real name)"", the famous actor. Grethel never bragged about it, though. He was humble and down-to-earth, unlike his celebrity sibling.
We became good friends over the years, sharing classes, hobbies, and secrets. We also worked part-time at the same bookstore, where we would chat and joke around during our shifts. Sometimes, I would catch him looking at me with a soft smile, and I would feel my heart skip a beat.
But I never told him how I felt. I was too afraid to ruin our friendship, or to be rejected. I didn't think he would ever see me as more than a friend. After all, he was the half-brother of an actor. He could have any girl he wanted.
Grethel lived with his mom and his younger brother in a modest house near our school and workplace, while I lived in a distant suburb. Whenever we had a long break between classes or shifts, he would invite me to his place to hang out. He said it was more convenient and comfortable than staying at the library or the cafeteria.
I always accepted his invitation, secretly hoping to spend more time with him. His house was cozy and warm, with family photos and souvenirs on the walls. He had a couch, a TV, a fridge, and a microwave in the living room, and a bunk bed, a desk, and a closet in his bedroom. He also had a spare room, where his brother Josh would stay whenever he visited.
Grethel and I had an awkward friendship at first, but we soon became closer. He would tease me, make me laugh, and share his thoughts and feelings with me. He would also play video games with me, or watch movies with me, or cook for me. He was the best friend I ever had, and I wished he was more.
One day, he asked me if I wanted to go to his brother's movie premiere with him. He said he had two tickets, and he didn't want to go alone. He said it would be fun, and we could hang out afterwards. I agreed, feeling a surge of excitement and nervousness.
I spent hours getting ready, trying to look my best. I wore a simple but elegant dress, and did my hair and makeup. I hoped he would notice me, and maybe feel something for me.
He picked me up in his car, and he looked stunning. He wore a black suit and a tie, and his hair was styled. He smiled when he saw me, and complimented me on my appearance. He said I looked beautiful. I felt my cheeks flush, and thanked him.
We drove to the theater, where we were greeted by a crowd of fans and paparazzi. Grethel held my hand as we walked through the chaos, and I felt a thrill of being with him. He led me to the red carpet, where his brother was waiting.
Josh Gogh looked just like he did on the screen, only more handsome. He had a charming smile and a confident posture. He hugged Grethel, and then turned to me. He looked me over, and raised his eyebrows.
"Who's this?" he asked Grethel, with a hint of curiosity.
"This is my friend, Marie," Grethel introduced me. "She's my classmate and co-worker. We came here together."
"Friend, huh?" Josh said, looking at our intertwined hands. "Well, nice to meet you, Marie. You're very pretty. Are you a fan of my movies?"
I nodded, feeling a bit starstruck. "Yes, I am. I've seen all of them. You're a great actor."
"Thank you. That's very kind of you to say. You have good taste," he said, flashing a smile. "Well, I hope you enjoy the show. Come on, Grethel. Let's go inside. The movie is about to start."
He pulled Grethel away, leaving me behind. I followed them, feeling a bit awkward. I wondered what Josh meant by his words. Was he flirting with me? Did he like me? Did he know about my feelings for Grethel?
We entered the theater, where we were seated in the front row. Grethel sat next to me, and Josh sat next to him. The lights dimmed, and the movie began. It was a thriller, and it was intense. Josh was the star, and he stole every scene. The audience gasped and clapped, and I joined them.
But I couldn't help but glance at Grethel, who was watching the movie with a serious expression. He didn't gasp or clap, even at the most shocking moments. He seemed distant and distracted, as if he was thinking about something else.
I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but I didn't want to disturb him. I decided to wait until the movie was over, and then talk to him. Maybe he would open up to me, and maybe I would find the courage to confess my feelings.
But as the movie ended, and the credits rolled, Josh stood up and grabbed Grethel's arm. He said he had to go to the after-party, and he wanted Grethel to come with him. He said he had something important to tell him, something that would change his life.
He didn't even look at me, or say goodbye. He just dragged Grethel out of the theater, leaving me alone. I felt a pang of hurt and confusion, wondering what Josh had to say to Grethel, and why he didn't care about me.
I got up, and walked out of the theater. I looked for Grethel's car, but I couldn't find it. I realized he had left with Josh, and he had forgotten about me. I felt tears sting my eyes, and I cursed myself for being so stupid.
I hailed a taxi, and gave the driver my address. I sat in the back seat, feeling miserable and hopeless. I wondered if Grethel would ever call me, or text me, or apologize. I wondered if he would ever know how I felt, or if he felt the same.
I wondered if I would ever see him again.
I remembered the last time I saw him, before the premiere. It was the day before, and we had a long break between our classes. He invited me to his place, as usual. I agreed, as usual.
We went to his house, and he made us some sandwiches. We ate them in the living room, while watching a sitcom on TV. We laughed at the jokes, and commented on the characters. We were having a good time, as usual.
Then he suggested we play some video games. He said he had a new game that he wanted to try. I agreed, as usual. We went to his bedroom, where he had his console and his TV. He turned on the game, and handed me a controller.
We played for a while, and it was fun. The game was a racing game, and we competed against each other. He was better than me, but I didn't mind. I enjoyed his company, as usual.
Then I felt tired, and I yawned. He noticed, and asked me if I wanted to take a nap. He said I could use his bed, and he would use the couch. I agreed, as usual.
He gave me a pillow and a blanket, and told me to make myself comfortable. He said he would wake me up when it was time to go. I thanked him, and lay down on his bed. He left the room, and closed the door.
I closed my eyes, and breathed in his scent. His bed smelled like him, and it made me feel warm and cozy. I cuddled with his pillow, and imagined it was him. I fell asleep, as usual.
I woke up, and opened my eyes. I saw him, and I smiled. He was lying on the lower bunk, playing video games. He didn't notice me, and he was focused on the screen. He looked cute, and I felt happy.
I got up, and climbed down from the upper bunk. I walked over to him, and tapped his shoulder. He turned around, and saw me. He smiled, and paused the game.
"Hey, sleepyhead. How was your nap?" he asked me.
"It was good. Thanks for letting me use your bed," I said.
"No problem. You looked tired. Did you have a good dream?" he asked.
I nodded, and lied. "Yeah, I did."
I didn't tell him that I dreamed of him. I didn't tell him that I loved him. I didn't tell him that I wanted to be more than friends.
I didn't tell him, as usual. ```

Hello! I’m 17 and I’m just starting to enter the world of childcare via camp counselling and teaching gymnastics, and physical boundaries are a bit murky for me with clingy kids. I’m autistic so boundaries are already a wee bit difficult but it’s also an adjustment being on the other side of the power dynamic.
Since I started working with kids at 15 I’ve always had a few cling on kids, aged 4-9, and I never know when to say no when they hug me. It doesn’t help that I’m a very tactile person as well as a bit of a people pleaser that just wants to give the kids what they want.
I guess my concern is for when I give kids hello and goodbye hugs, and when i lift them up in a variety of ways for fun and to spin them around. Also sometimes they jump up and i settle them on my hip, even the older ones if i can. Should I be setting more boundaries? Is it important to show them what a safe adult looks like? Am i a safe adult if i don’t give them hugs when they need one?
Either way, I definitely need to work on giving the clingy ones independence from me I think, because as much as I love all of them it can’t be good to sit outside of the activity just to hang out with me? Right?
And that brings up another concern for me. What do i say when kids tell me they love me? I always say something along the lines of “i love being around you/having you in my class” etc etc.
I don’t know, I just know I want to work with kids for the rest of my life and these worries have been building up a while, and I’d love to know thoughts from other professionals and parents!!!
Tl;dr: kids cling to me socially and physically and I’m worried it’s not very healthy and wonder what parents and ece’s think i should do in terms of boundaries. Specifically to do with hugs and when they tell me they love me.

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I had things to say to you about the book I gave to you, and why I stopped early in reading it, there’s something about the last page that I read, you’ll notice it when you read the page with the rip at the top, it’s the rip my bookmark left on the page. I had a moment when I read that page, and I realised my path, you’ll see what I mean if you look at the page. I kept the book to read the rest of it when I felt lost again. I had intentions of reading it throughout my life. Until my next time losing my path, I would reread the parts I had read. When I saw you, I realised it might help you more than it helps me now. So I said goodbye to the book, I mean I can always buy another one but you weren’t gonna read it if I didn’t give it to you.
About us, I’m disappointed. Maybe I’m young and inexperienced, but our chemistry was something else. I’m sure if we saw each other again we’d see it again. But I don’t see how we get out of our current awkward situation. I don’t understand what happened between us at all. But there are several reasons why I talk to you with so much coldness.

1. Remember you sent me your linkedin? Well I eventually made a fake account and looked at it because I still couldn’t figure out why you sent it to me. Well, I saw your comments on what I assume was your ex’s accomplishments. I have the exact same pair of glasses she wear in her profile picture, although you’ve never seen them. Similar glasses, means similar face shape, means you have a type. I assume you only liked me because I reminded you of her. This makes me feel sick in my stomach. The only reason why we have chemistry is because of that from your side, and because I was ready to connect with someone. There’s nothing special about it.
   
2. I think you’ve put me in a roster of 20 year old girls to talk to. Idk. You just have too many young girls in your followers. Yea I stalked your followers, that’s more normal than stalking a person’s reddit account so shush
   
3. Our conversations just felt like they were about you venting and you expected me to give emotional support but I’m a rational person, not particularly good with emotions. And you also didn’t even respect my feelings in the process. I felt used, and worthless because of your behaviour that you might’ve not even noticed because you’re so preoccupied.
   

Those aside, I’m not the same person you met two months ago, but this isn’t the same person I’ll be. I grew a lot, although from the outside it looks like I’m being irresponsible. I’m way more mature actually, and way less open. I can’t connect with you anymore, because I closed myself off to everybody except my closest friend. I built some walls around me, I don’t try to people please as much which is nicer for me. I’m in my early twenties. I want to make mistakes and I want to be wild and stupid. It might be disgusting to look at from the outside. I have a complete different inside life than my outside “instagram” life. And unfortunately you got categorised with the people who only see one of those. I can have deep conversations, but not through our current texting situation.
I think the best thing to do is for you to message me say “thank you for your help anyway” and I’ll say “no worries” and then we can end our conversations, you can maybe message me if you ever end up in Istanbul again, if you ever want to see me again. I don’t see us having any further positive communication through text so I think we need a lot of time spent not remembering the other person even exists. We both have a lot of resentment for each other, and it’s obvious from the tone of our conversations. It was good when it was good though, I’m happy to have met you, I’ll always remember you as a sweet person, with the best image of you I ever had of you in my mind, it’s a beautiful one.

Just came out of an almost 5 year relationship or mayb fwb wd a guy twice my age...we knew frm d strt...wht wud happen..he was married...n still we had our fun... everything went so smooth, even the goodbyes...but here i am sulking over something tht i agreed to myself... How do u getover something that was nvr a commitment...or whtever u say it..... Been a lurker here for so long, finally made a throwaway account mayb coz now i m single?lol.. But kher... Yeah...a 25 year old boy just ended things wd a 40 year old dude...n nw I don't know wht i feel..mayb lost... But mayb need things to get my mind off from it all... Recommend me stuff...mayb... Mayb some queer friends from lahore...

Okay. I love Star Wars, I love the sequels, however, I’d like to stretch my brain muscles and think of a rewrite. This is not a “They should have adapted Heir to the Empire”, nor an attack on Disney. This is merely an in hindsight rewrite. What aspects of the new canon could have been implemented to make a more solid and cohesive story? I will use the current story as a baseline, so here goes, The Force Awakens:
I’ll keep the title, mainly because I can’t think of an alternative, lazy, but I figured maybe you guys could think of one.
Opening Scrawl: Mostly the same, just remove “the last Jedi” and mention that the Republic is supporting Leia’s resistance.
The opening can be mostly the same, but instead of some random guy, have the old contact be Han, have him be the contact who tracked down someone special, R2 frozen like the original movie. Inside R2 are the last known coordinates to Luke.
Hotshot pilot Poe Dameron (who is much younger) eagerly takes the droid, when suddenly, the village is attacked by new troopers. Also, a return of battle droids to bolster their forces. Led by a masked man, who Poe shoots at, and when the beam is frozen, Han exclaims “You can’t be a Jedi?” To which Kylo Ren replies “Not anymore” and captures the two rebels and R2.
BB-8 escapes to the established rendezvous spot to try and get help. Meanwhile, Finn’s escape happens in the usual manner, but this time the three of them try and steal a shuttle, not a TIE fighter. A few hijinks occur and as they fly off, the ship is hit and the three escapees launch escape pods and land on separate parts of the planet (which is mostly mountainous, not a desert). R2 is in the possession of the First Order. Finn takes this chance to escape and rushes to the nearest port.
In space, Hux appears and berates his men, who say the traitor won’t escape them. A screen blinking as Finn moves to a space port.
Cut to a run down town nearby, where a stranger is hanging around, some people giving him a strange glance. An alien approaches “New Republic folk aren’t welcome here, the Coalition of Planets earned their independence from you dogs.” To which the older one, a man with green hair, replies “Sorry, we aren’t exactly on the best terms with the Republic either.” And we see a flash of something on his holster.
A commotion is heard, a woman’s voice calls. The man rushes to the Pantoran’s aid as they try and wrestle BB-8 from junk dealers. “You don’t need this droid.” The man waves his hand and the dealer hands them the droid, going along his way.
“You need to be more careful Rey, I know you’re anxious, but we have to have patience.”
“I know, Master Jacen, but rumours of attacks, and now BB-8 being all alone, it can’t be good for Dameron.”
The two then freeze and sense something, darkness, but also familiar. They rush towards it and find themselves at a space port, where a fight has broken out, Troopers and battle droids, have surrounded a “Traitor” as one yells out, brandishing electrostaffs. Without hesitation, Jacen ignites a blue lightsaber and duels a Trooper, Rey following suit with her green saber.
Finn cowers, but when tossed a staff from Jacen, he defends himself with temporary courage. Finn notices BB-8, and tries to explain the situation with Poe, but the group is attacked by a ship and they take off in a generic ship (not the falcon). A small dog fight occurs, then some exposition.
Jacen was Luke’s first true apprentice and Rey is…well, she’s Jacen’s apprentice, basically a sister. They explain that, after the last great battle with the Imperial remnant (the equivalent to “You fought in the Clone Wars?”, just this time the Mando-Verse), the Republic lost its standing and many planets left for their independence, becoming a loose collection of like minded groups (like how Nevarro is doing), called the Coalition of Planets. Protecting each other from pirates and gangster influence.
Bound by dwindling Republic bureaucracy, corruption from within (as seen in Mandalorian), as well as having her lineage revealed (Bloodline) Leia split off from the New Republic and did the same as the new Jedi Order, help anyone in need, regardless of red tape. Establishing a Resistance against galactic corruption. Or just Resistance.
Luke disappeared 3 years ago, supposedly looking for the ancient homeworld of the Jedi. But only R2 would know his location.
Finn is overwhelmed, revealing some backstory, he never knew his family, he lived and trained for the First Order, “but seeing combat…I can’t do it.”
A message comes through, Poe and Han are alive and well and want to arrange a meet up at “her place”, outside First Order eyes. Jacen says “Sorry Finn, looks like you’re stuck with us a little longer.” And they zoom away.
Meanwhile, throughout this whole thing, we cut back to a modest fleet of ships, led by Hux, who tolerates the presence of Kylo Ren. All the while, the latter is attempting to unlock R2. “You’ll never get it to open, even with your magic…maybe try your brute strength.” Kylo force grabs Hux, soldiers living and droid aim their blasters at him. “The last known location is hidden in this droid, Luke Skywalker is the only one who can threaten the Supreme Leader’s power.” He puts Hux down.
They wrongly believe there is a key of sorts amongst the escapees and they follow “him” to find it.
The heroes land at Maz’s place, and Finn amazed with the diverse aliens, “I’ve only been around humans, General Hux is very serious about that”. The group introduce themselves to Maz, who gets all mystic about the 3 of them.
Jacen should not fear living up to his parents’ legacy, Rey should be more confident in who she is and Finn should find something to do with his life rather than run. He says that “You can’t fight the First Order.” And tries to leave, but not before Maz discovers a homing beacon imbedded into Finn’s neck.
The First Order attacks and Finn, begins to run as the Jedi fight off the squad of Droids. Then, he runs into Kylo Ren. “Seems Hux’s failure paid off…now where is the key?” Petrified, Finn is left at the hands of Kylo Ren, until blaster fire can be heard, and the Calvary arrives.
Poe and Black Squadron, led by the Millenium Falcon defeat the First Order soldiers and droids and as Kylo follows the Falcon closely, Finn pulls a blaster out and without looking, Kylo rips it from his hands “Foolish trooper, how simple minded.” He then freezes Finn and surrounded by battle droids, he takes him back for interrogation.
However, as everyone reunites with Han, Leia and Poe, Rey realises Finn was still missing. Sensing a dark, yet familiar, presence, Leia points to their location “Han, it’s him, he’s alive!” At these words, Han and Jacen rush to save Finn. Han takes out the droids and Jacen has a duel with Kylo. The two are relatively matched, but after Han and Finn escape, Jacen feigns defeat and is taken instead.
Whilst everyone is worried (including red-armed Threepio) Maz reassures them that they need not worry, holding a tracker. Revealing that in the battle, she gave it to Jacen as a “Surprise they wouldn’t expect.” With it the group head back to Resistance headquarters.
Finn and Han bond, the latter explaining how he knows all too well about fleeing an institution and just wanting a life of adventure (Solo). But that “You can’t live like that, one day, you have to make a choice.”
Meanwhile, Leia and Rey discuss how the Jedi’s ranks barely reach 100 and how thin they have been spread. “And without Jacen, who can rally them? Leia, it may be time you came back to the Order-“ “No, I can’t, you know that…you also know that they’d listen to you.” But Rey shakes her head, “No, I’m not worthy, especially since causing my mother and…and his death.”
Leia then sighs and says solemnly “He’s alive, Rey, my son is alive.”
Elsewhere, Jacen and Kylo confront each other a back and forth, one taunting the other about their heritage. Then finally “You were always one step behind me, is that why you turned? Power? Huh, Ben!?”
Ben removes his helmet. “You have no idea what I have seen these last 3 years…the Supreme Leader is my master, I am Ben Solo no more.” His eyes well up, just for a second.
Kylo then enters the ships bridge and undermines the staff, much to Hux’s dismay. Kylo calls up Supreme Leader Snoke, they discuss how they found the tracker and destroys it, but reveals that Jacen knows nothing of how to awaken R2. Snoke reassures him that he no longer fears Skywalker and Kylo asks if that means“The Weapon” is ready.
Snoke says no, but soon, however he feels the conflict within Kylo and remarks “Has the Light corrupted you? Your grandfather would be ashamed.” As the call ends, Hux smirks at Kylo’s expense and the masked man returns to his chamber (feel the pull to the light, etc. Vader’s helmet).
Arriving at the Resistance base, they discuss how the tracker went silent, but they managed to get a lock on a transmission in the general area and believe it’s the First Order fleet. They plan an attack. Poe will lead Black squadron and Wedge will lead Rogue Squadron to distract the fighters. The Falcon will fly to Hux’s Star Destroyer and infiltrate.
Poe wishes Finn luck as the former excitedly goes to his ship. Leia and Han say their goodbyes and Rey gets nervous, having failed to contact the Jedi.
The attack begins, they notice the fleet is less impressive at a glance, two run down Star Destroyers and a single pristine one. Either way, they fight through the fighters and the Falcon crashes into the hanger. They fight and Han asked where Jacen and Finn says “I’ve never been on General Hux’s ship, Can’t we just follow the Force, create a map or something” “THAT’S NOT HOW THE FORCE WORKS!!”
Rey looks around and focuses, noting a dark presence above them. “It’s him, Ben will want to keep an eye on Jacen.” They run to save him. Meanwhile, a battered and bruised Jacen uses the Mind trick to escape in the confusing, but fears not having his saber.
As Hux looks at one of the Star Destroyers being defeated, he sweats. “Where are those reinforcements, we’re are not ready for a full scale battle.” But Kylo ignores him, feeling a presence.
The group manage to reunite with Jacen, who notes that R2 is still on the ship. Before they can devise a plan, R2 comes crashing towards them. “The Supreme Leader has recanted the search for Skywalker, for his weapon is nearing completion.” Kylo is holding Jacen’s Saber.
You then have the scene, just not over an endless pit, Han is killed, Chewie knocks Kylo back with his Bow caster. But this time Jacen pulls the saber from the air and has to remind them to grieve later and run, the ship is falling apart.
Hux evacuates and swears Kylo’s name, for ruining 3 ships. But as we cut to Poe celebrating like an idiot, a fleet much more impressive jumps in, a voice over all channels speaks in Hutteese calls out. Rotta the Hutt, Jabba’s son has come to Hux’s aid. The Hutt’s Second Order, attacks en masse.
The Star Destroyer begins to collapse, and as they reach the Falcon, Kylo flings debris at the ship. With Jacen too weak to fight, Rey finds the courage to confront Kylo. They duel and even with his weakened state, Kylo easily overpowers her, Rey’s only ally is jumping through the debris. Of course there is taunting.
“You fight good for a fraud.”
“I’m no fraud, I’m a Jedi, like my mother and my…father.”
“You can’t even admit you’re nothing like him, you are weak Rey and undeserving of his name. Unlike me, you have no ties to his legacy.”
“Shut up!”
“You are nothing but an orphan pitied on by your so-called ‘father’.”
“I said shut up!!”
“You will never be worthy of the name SKYWALKER!!”
(Yes, he is projecting)
Rey lunges at him, but even her anger isn’t enough, only managing to scar his face. Jacen and Chewie start up the Falcon, but debris is blocking the way and Jacen can’t focus, they need Rey to move it. He begs Finn to go help.
“But I don’t have a weapon!”
“Yes you do!”
Jacen hands him his Saber and Finn rushes in and attacks, but is defeated all the same, but this has given Rey enough time to throw the debris at her cousin and save a comatose Finn.
The small group of Fighters prepare to fly off, Poe still eager to fight the Hutt’s fleet, but stopped by Wedge.
Now for the ending.
Leia, Rey and Chewie mourn Han’s death, Jacen and Finn are taken into intensive care and the Resistance calls for its remaining forces across the Outer Rim for aid.
Leia takes a look at R2 and brings Threepio over, who is sad his friend is frozen and unmoving, but at hearing Threepio’s voice, R2 awakes noting that he’d only awake at his best friend’s voice. Transmitting the coordinates to a mysterious part of the galaxy, to the planet Acht-To, Rey takes the Falcon to reunite with her father.
On the bridge of Rotta’s ship, Hux is reprimanded by the former gangster, much to Hux’s embarrassment. Though he does cheer up at the knowledge that the oh so powerful apprentice of the Supreme Leader was defeated and licking his wounds. And with the knowledge that the weapon is nearing completion, he looks on in awe when they jump from hyperspace. As Starkiller base comes into view.
Arriving at Acht-To, Rey climbs the shore up the mountains, until she meets with a hooded figure, looking over a makeshift grave. He turns and the two merely look at each other and the camera pans out.
Credits.
Few. That took longer than expected. As you can see I made some changes, having the Jedi be around, just with significantly smaller stature.
The First Order isn’t a pointless name, it’s merely a wing of a greater organisation apposing the current regime, a Rebel Alliance, if you will.
I made Rey a Pantoran, because we needed more aliens and it’s part of a larger reference. Star Wars is all about family and that’s the main focus I want to aim for, this is a new generation wanting to either prove themselves to the previous generation, or surpass it.
But instead of having a traditional family via blood, I’d have it be that Luke’s child, is adopted. Show the struggles an adopted child would face if brought into a famous family. But also, it’s honouring George, who played a Pantoran in Revenge of the Sith, alongside his daughters and have this new character a young Jedi, like George’s son was in RotS.
All of whom were adopted, but they are all still Lucas’ the same as George. I think that is a nice connection and honour Star Wars’ creator.
Also, yes, I will eventually reveal that Jacen is Jacen Syndulla. Have Rebels be a companion piece that reveals his origin. Also, I leave the other Jedi’s identities open ended. Is there Ahsoka? Ezra? Cal? Maybe even Omega? Ooh, who knows, I smell (profit!) spin off material!
Anyway, let me know what you thought and I’ll get to The Last Jedi, eventually. And a reminder, what should the title be for my version of Episode 7? Not sure The Force Awakens works anymore.

This past year has been a crazy ride, and I need somewhere to let it out.
On this day last year, I(27M) received a FaceTime call from my parents. They're based in Asia while my brother (25M) and I work / go to school in the US - so we have a set time for weekly catchups over the phone. But this time it was weird that they didn't just call. It was the first time in years since they video call me.
Mom(55F) and dad(57M) showed up on my phone screen, but mom didn't have any hair. They told me that she had been diagnosed with late stage cervical cancer a few weeks back and that she had immediately started chemo. My parents got their annual checkup just a few months back, but she was unlucky. The cancer had developed quickly in an area hard to detect, so it was found at a late stage. But fortunately she was receiving the best treatment available, and her company was helping our family with medical expenses. I cried after hanging up. I never thought I'd have to think about my mom's mortality this early. It felt like I was caught in some nasty prank, and I didn't know what to do. At least on screen my mom seemed lively and optimistic with the situation at the time.
I quickly decided it was best I fly over to Asia and help out my parents. Luckily I had recently quit my full time job to start my own business, so I wasn't tied to a company or a geographic location. My brother was starting a program at his dream grad school later that summer, and I was happy to help him focus on it. Instead he would immediately head to my parent's and stay with them until I wrapped up my life in the US and moved over. I had my last hoorah with my friends, gave away my furniture, and packed up my suitcase. I had been living with my girlfriend at the time, and carving myself out of the apartment was more painful than I ever expected. Saying goodbye sucked, especially when I didn't know when I was coming back.
Fast forward a few weeks, I moved into my parent's house. The next few months would be a blur of numerous trips to the hospital, a life in a different country. We were getting into the groove of things, and chemo actually started chipping away at my mom's tumor. But spending large chunks of each week at the hospital, working on my business at night(my work requires me to match US time zones), and having no social life in the country started taking toll on me. I barely knew anyone in the city and I'd have days and weeks not physically speaking at all. My mental and physical health deteriorated, and eventually after much thought I decided to break up with my girlfriend of four years. I just didn't think I was being a good partner with all that was happening in my life, and I had no clue when all this would end - especially given the time difference and distance. It was rough ending things with the most serious girlfriend I ever had, but I had to focus on my family and she understood.
I soon realized that my mom's cancer wasn't the only thing I had to face. I had to figure out my complicated relationship with my dad. I wouldn't call him a bad guy. He has good intentions but he's a troubled man haunted by his job and childhood tragedies(death of siblings, relationship with family, his parents stopping him from pursuing his dreams, etc) Since I was young he struggled with communicating his thoughts / emotions and abusing alcohol. He was never really present in my upbringing, as he sunk away to his room after work to watch TV without helping around the house much. Yes there were moments where he drove us to school a few weeks and took us fishing a couple times, but those gestures faded away by the time my brother and I were 10. When drunk, he broke things around the house regularly, and at his worst he physically assaulted me when I was a teenager. We never really had a legitimate conversation since (he never really talked unless he was drunk), and my mom acted as a sort of a shield / translator between us throughout the years. But he did work and provide for the family for decades, and I should not forget that. Now that I'm older I do see why he was so upset and aggressive back then. I'm finding myself slowly forgiving him over the years. But it also can't be an excuse for what he did and I still find myself deeply affected by his actions.
My dad's aloofness continued into December 2023. In some ways it felt like he was denying to accept the gravity of the situation. He continued drinking heavily and depending on my ill mom for housework / meals. I was upset because it seemed like my mom was still carrying most of the burden even with cancer and he was doing the bare minimum to help our family. I was tired and depressed. I uprooted my whole life, and for months I haven't been able to make much progress in my personal, professional, and social lives. But he wasn't contributing much for our family. I guess he thought improvements in my mom's health would continue and she'd recover soon.
Around new year, chemo stopped making progress, and my mom's condition began worsening week by week. Some of her organs started having issues, bringing debilitating pain. The doctors tried different treatments, radiotherapy, etc, but the situation kept on heading south. Her stays at the hospital grew longer, and she started cry more often. At times her pain would be so terrible that she'd scream into my arms saying that she doesn't want to continue living anymore. Every day I can still hear her cries and it's messing with me. I hate losing someone strong / kind like her inch by inch. After seeing my mom's state worsen, my dad started turning around and investing more time / attention to our family. He cut down most of his drinking and began spending most of his free time with her. I think he finally started realizing that he could actually lose his wife. I do appreciate him stepping up, and he and I started cooperating on nursing mom and getting through house chores. Sometimes I feel guilty for this, but I'm still having difficulty trusting him 100% given all we've been through. It's still tough to spend 1:1 time with him.
Fast forward to now, the situation hasn't improved much and my mom hasn't been home in months. Even phone calls and texts are difficult for her now. The doctors are planning on trying one more treatment, but if it doesn't work we'll likely have to begin preparing for the worst. I saw on reddit that old photos help cancer patients a lot, so I went through our family album to show digital copies to my mom. I can't remember the last time I cried that much. Thankfully, my brother is now in town on vacation for the next few weeks, and he's been very helpful. We're grateful that he had a successful first year at grad school, and him returning has been a breath of fresh air for our family. Seeing my brother has been helping my mom a lot as well. I'm sure my brother is feeling his own shock and guilt with all that's happening to our family. I hope he's able to find strength within himself.
But I need to face the fact that my mom started taking morphine and that the doctors began discussing hospice. My parents and I took the past few weeks to organize my mom's finances, taxes, and legal work. It's still surreal that I had to go through my mom's stuff. She has been strong / stoic throughout this whole process, but I can't imagine what pain / thoughts she's dealing with when my dad or I'm not around. I can't imagine what it's like to even begin thinking about the end. A miracle could happen, but nothing is guaranteed. All I can do is just take each day as it is and keep moving forward.
I took a pause on work in the last few months to focus on helping my family and recovering my health. I'm slowly but surely spending up my savings though, and I feel like I'm being left behind professionally and socially. I'm finding myself depressed not being able to make progress with my life and career. I have no friends and I can't remember the last time I took a legitimate break. I can't help but wonder how my business will work out, whether I can become social again, and what my future will look like. But it's been so difficult to plan anything because any day / week my mom's situation can shift drastically. And at times I feel guilty thinking about myself when my mom is suffering this much. I'm trying really hard to keep a routine with exercise and work so I can keep myself healthy to continue helping my parents. It's been a challenging fight to keep all these things balanced.
But I also can't deny that I've seen a lot of beauty in life as well in the past year. So many friends and family helped us out, and I sat down with my mom with deep conversations on life. I've also changed / grew tremendously, and my perspective on life / death matured a lot. I learned the importance of mental / physical health. This dark period in my life also could be the beginning of a relationship with my dad. I don't do social media but so many friends remembered our family and reached out proactively. Thank you everyone. All of the other problems I had in life seem so small / solvable now, after all I've gone through. Imagine how easy those obstacles will feel once all this is over!
I have no idea how all of this will resolve, but I just hope my mom doesn't go through much pain. Sometimes I just want to drop everything and give up but I want to help my mom as much as I can until the end. She always tried her best to give my brother and me the best possible life. A few weeks ago, she told me that she has no regrets because she gave us all her love over the past 20 to 30 years, a feat that other moms might take 50 to 60 years to accomplish. She really did her best and she was the greatest mom I could ever have.
I'm curious what kind of person I'll become after the dust settles. Daydreaming about what's to come after these tough times keep me going. The rest of the year probably won't be pretty though, especially if my mom's health worsens. In whatever way this situation resolves towards, I won't disappoint her. I hope I can stay strong throughout and I'll keep giving life my best.
And I hope this past year does stay the toughest year of my life lol

This is gonna be a long one because I have so much shit to say and keeping it all in makes me wanna hurt myself. I don't even know how to lay this all but here it goes. I'm in love with a married woman that has told me she loves me too, but I fear is just using me for sex and attention due to her marital issues.
Me and C (25F) met at work around 9 months and she was actually my boss before I left the job. I had just started working again after suffering from long covid, and even now am not completely better and mainly deal with the neuro-psychiatric symptoms such as bouts of psychosis, anhedonia, severe depression, night terrors, tinnitus, genital numbness and loss of libido, aphantasia, etc. Prior to this I had already been diagnosed with bipolar, ADHD, and mild autism, but was able to manage these things throughout my life with a healthy lifestyle. By the time I met her though, I was not and still am not stable in the slightest, and you'll realize why this is important.
When I first arrived back at work I immediately met C (25F) as she was the new director at the daycare I had gotten rehired at after being away for many months due to school, and she was the one who rehired me. I thought she was nice at first and acknowledged that she was attractive, but that was the extent of my thoughts on her. She's a married woman with 3 kids. My sickness and mental issues could not fathom the idea of dating, much less initiating anything with a married woman, which is something I wouldn't even fathom to do prior to my sickness. At this point I had spent the previous 6 months or so in isolation, away from my friends, having left school, and fighting to not kill myself everyday because of how bad my condition felt. So yeah, dating and people in general wasn't really something I cared to do.
Anyways, as I started working more I realized how much I'd changed since pre-covid me and how difficult things were now. I'd get fatigued easily, have mental fog, and the worst of it was panic attacks from the over-stimulation working around kids. My coworkers would get annoyed at me and my mistakes, as I didn't tell anyone about my condition outside of that I'd gotten very sick in the past, so me and them would argue and get into it. It felt like hell going to work so one night I flat out tried to quit and told the manager there I couldn't do it anymore and was leaving. She called C who showed up and pulled me aside to talk outside. I then proceeded to break down and explained to her every last detail of my condition and all of what I was experiencing, without holding anything back. Instead of agreeing that I was unfit to work however, she actually listened for a long time and offered input that was actually helpful. She told me she could start scheduling me more with her, and that way if I got overwhelmed at work she understands my situation and could give me some leeway, not expect so much of me. I appreciated that a lot and agreed to stay on as long as she didn't expect me to be great or anything.
From there on out, me and C became close friends. She started texting me more right after that night, and we started working a lot more together. We talked a lot and she made me feel comfortable, but she also flirted a fuckton even before I opened up to her about my issues. Well, I thought that's something she'd stop after I told her about my broken dick and slew of other issues that could warrant me being put in a mental asylum, but she didn't. She just picked it up even more. I also thought for a while she was bored and wanted to play around with me since I clearly wasn't looking to get into anything, so eventually I just started returning the energy and flirting back. Fuck it is what I said to myself.
Well, after work one night I was walking her to her car and gave her a hug goodbye, and this is when she leaned into kiss me. This was 5 months ago. It actually felt really good because I hadn't been with a girl since my ex before I got sick, a good 8 or 9 months prior to this happening, but I was also like what the fuck. I questioned her on it and was like hey don't you have a husband and she was like yeah but I needed to kiss you idk why. I was like ok I won't tell anyone but yeah lets just chill and not do all that yk. Well it obviously didn't stop there because she started texting me even more and we ended up kissing again, and again, and again. I felt guilty everytime but I couldn't help myself. I presented the most broken version of myself to her and somehow she was still attracted and made me feel comfortable which is something I'd been missing. No one in my life validated my illness or showed me the slightest of empathy except for her. So safe to say she reeled me in with my own vulnerability, as I know a healthy version of myself wouldn't have allowed this to go on. I started thinking about her constantly and couldn't stop obsessing.
The guilt of it happening ate up at me, but the fear of me getting attached to someone whos married and could never reciprocate what I wanted and needed from a partner ate up at me even more. I wanted to break the attachment, so at the end of February I quit the job and said i was moving onto another gig. After this me and C didn't contact each other for sometime, but she called me after a week asking to hang out. If I'm being honest, I'd been missing her badly that whole week and straight up felt like a drug addict going through withdrawal. I couldn't help myself and agreed. From there, i started going over to her place while her husband would work overnight to have sex and chill. My dick was starting work more at this point, and even though I couldn't feel much pleasure there i could get erect again, so I took advantage with her. She's told me she loves me and acts cool and all but the mental stress of this is causing me is crazy. Like I'm actually thinking so irrationally I don't know what to do.
At first I was cool with going with the flow but now I hate being the side nigga. I'm jealous of her husband and hate that she has to contact me in secrecy. I hate that i can only see her at night after dark. I hate that she tells me she loves but I don't really believe her. I hate that she told me shes getting a divorce after explaining to me all her marital issues and I don't believe her. I hate that I don't really trust anything she says because she's cheating on her husband. I hate that I got so attached. I hate that my perception of her is completely broken now because she's cheating and I'm the one helping her do it. I hate that she goes out on the weekends in a group of friends with her husband and I'm not there with her. I hate that I'm honestly being fuckin played and taken advantage of because I'm weak rn and am too much of a pussy to end it because I fell in love. I hate damn near everything about the situation except for holding her and being with her. Should I tell her all of this? Should I just end it? Should I tell her husband to get rid of the guilt and let her deal with the fallout? I genuinely don't fuckin know anymore.

It was late November 2015. I was 51 and one year past my divorce (which was not related to cheating) when I became so disgusted with myself that I knew I had to pick myself up. I was alone for the long holiday, and although I wasn't really sad or lonely, I felt empty. However, I had some extra time to consider how does one picks oneself up.
I made a list of potential New Year resolutions that were individually realistic. Some were really easy and stupid like “have your chipped front tooth fixed” and “take & post a selfie”. These smaller tasks fueled my confidence and provided the energy boosts needed to tackle the more challenging resolutions, like starting a weight loss challenge at work.
Skip ahead to March 4th 2016. I had a Friday lunch date with a married client that I met two weeks prior. Of course, it was not a real date, as I wouldn't impose myself on a married woman, nor would I risk my career or my ego, especially if the signals she seemed to be sending were just a product of my wishful thinking, stimulated by checking off some boxes on the list on the fridge dated 1/1/16.
The following is my thank you note to her for a great date as well as for helping me check a lot of boxes over the past few weeks. I sent her a link to it as it is in the form of my first ever online post (one more check box, YAY!).
************************************** We were only 1 minute in the hotel room; her jeans in a ball on the floor. She sat at the foot of the king sized bed and backed her way into the stack of oversized pillows lining the headboard. I followed as If attached by a leash. I landed somewhat awkwardly on my elbows between her legs finding myself squarely face to face with the tattoo. This tattoo, that she so shamelessly revealed just a week ago, the same tattoo that has been scorching my thoughts and the same tattoo that she promised me complete and unlimited access.
It’s been a long time since I have been here or anywhere near as nice as here, between the legs of a beautiful woman 20 years younger and far out of my league....even when I was her age. I took a second to drink in my fortunate situation. I admired her panties. All day I was so hoping she would wear those same panties as before. She didn’t. These were different but similar enough. The delicate lace and silk perfectly framed the tattoo on her hip. She did not disappoint. There is a fruity jasmine scent, intoxicatingly pleasant, and oh so subtle. It is not here. I’ll need to find its source. I want more of that. (I remember being thoroughly impressed and thinking to myself “This girl is good”.)
I briefly forgot that there was someone else here besides myself and the tattoo. How long have I been down here perving out on her? I wondered. I hesitated, and then apologetically looked up half expecting a well-deserved snarky glare. What I found instead was an ear to ear compassionate smile followed by a tilt of her head and an arch of her eyebrow that said “I like that you like that, carry on”.
With confidence restored that we were still in sync, I adjusted myself so that I was in a good position to thoroughly enjoy what I came to do. I kissed the tattoo hard and gave it a good lick. The challenge for today was “Taste the Tattoo” and I won. I did a small celebration gesture that she rolled her eyes to. I continued to kiss and taste all around until every freckle got some personal attention. As I got to the upper most reaches of her inner thighs, I looked up to check in as I was about to cross a new line. For the first time she was not looking back at me but had laid her head back deep into the pillows, her eyes closed. I took that as a yes!
I marveled at the softness of her inner thighs on my cheeks as I gently placed kisses up one and down the other. As I kissed her through her panties, her hips responded by arching her up in anticipation of each next kiss. Before long, those wonderful panties were just getting in the way. I stopped and pondered whether to just slide them aside or remove them or to risk interrupting the mood and attempt a complete wardrobe removal as we were both still fully dressed except for her jeans.
I didn’t have to ponder long as she knew what she wanted and it was not any of the options I was considering. Still lying back with her head semi submerged within the pillows, she held out her arms as if gesturing for a hug. I moved up her body and when I got close enough she pulled me in for a kiss.
Unbelievably, this was our first kiss. I found it odd that we had not kissed yet and was grateful she thought to stop for a moment to have a kiss. We kissed some and then I settled in to thoroughly enjoy it. However, the kiss to come was not the kiss I was expecting or a kiss I was ready for. It was a kiss that could ruin everything.
Technically, there was one kiss before. It was an awkward kiss 5-10 minutes earlier just after we entered the room. All in about the time it took for the hotel door to close behind us, she tossed her bag on the sofa, had her jewelry off and set on the nightstand while I emptied my pockets and silenced my phone.
We approached each other, and as we met I was looking at the place where the tattoo would be under her shirt and behind her jeans. They were higher cut and could not be pulled down that far to get to the tattoo. They would have to come off. To just reach in and do that would be an uncharacteristically bold move for me. But I did have unquestionable permission to have the tattoo in any way that I desired. I reached down with both hands and took hold of the waistband on each side of the button. I didn’t see her simultaneous move in at me at first. Just as I felt the metal of the button, I felt her reaching her arms around my neck and realized that she was tip toeing up for a kiss. It caught me unexpectedly and I think it showed on my face that it did. I tried to recover and moved back in to accept her lips on to mine but it turned into an awkward peck.
I scolded myself for the selfish moment and just as I was trying to formulate a recovery gesture, she, without missing a beat, gently dismissed my fumble and gracefully restored the momentum. “Oh” she said with surprise in her tone, while looking down at my fingers ready to release her button. Then, in a more playfully quizzical tone, she followed with “I guess you want to get right to THAT then” and she stepped back away from me where I lost grip of her jeans. She replaced my fingers on the button with hers, paused, maybe waiting for me to look up to her eyes, which I finally did, then flashed me a devilishly naughty smile and pulled her jeans down to the top of her boots. She then proudly announced, mostly to herself, “You really are going to let me have fun with you, aren’t you!” seemingly shedding any doubts in her mind that I would go through with this. She then sat at the foot of the all white linen king sized bed, removed her boots and jeans and backed her way into the stack of oversized pillows lining the headboard.
Back to our kiss. The kiss that from now on I will reflect on as our first kiss
Responding to her hug gesture, I moved up her body and when I got close enough she pulled me in for a kiss. I didn’t flub it this time, but again, I didn’t know it was coming, and prolly I should have. It took only ten seconds to adjust and synchronize to each other’s kissing form. It was warm and succulent and sweet and was wonderful. I really was surprised at how nice this felt. I don’t recall married kissing being this enjoyable. I remember saying to myself “Damn, this girl can kiss”.
I was on top, in a position that wasn’t going to be comfortable for as long as I wanted this to last, so I backed away to reposition but she held tight indicating she didn’t want me to move. I gestured at the space next to her and she relented. We then settled in facing one another side by side; her smile confirming that this was a nice place. We were hugging and kissing, pulling each other closer and looking into each other’s eyes. Our legs intertwined and our hands were roaming, but not really in a sexual way, more like trying to make as much body contact as possible. I couldn’t get over how I felt so much more familiarity than there was. What I did not recognize at the time was that this was the physical intimacy catching up to match the virtual intimacy we have been sharing online.
Soon the intensity escalated and it was getting very hot very quickly. The intensity and passion that was building was not something I ever expected or planned for. This was the rare kind of making out where accidental hickeys happen and inadvertent “Oh god I love you’s” slip out. Not that either of those was going to happen but my safe, non-committal no emotional strings encounter was getting too hot to not risk introducing emotions into the situation. And that could happen.
At some point I was no longer kissing her lips and mouth but was kissing her.
I broke contact to catch a breath and maybe get some control of the fire. We stopped for a moment to breathe and cool off. She slid herself on top and I rolled over on to my back to accommodate her. She looked at me with eyes that appeared to agree that it was a good time to slow it down. She closed her eyes and she seemed to enjoy that I was rubbing her back with both hands that I slipped up under her shirt. She presented her lips for me to kiss and then her cheek for the same, then neck and ear and lips again. Her long hair had fallen down around us, surrounding our faces like a vail creating a tiny private and even more intimate space. Inside here it was darker and the temperature and humidity rose quickly. We were breathing each other’s breath between kisses. All of a sudden I noticed that Jasmine was back. Not subtle this time, but deep and fulfilling. I loved it.
This fragrance stuff really works. The next morning just after waking up, I caught an unexpected subtle whiff on my skin under my watch and my heart jumped by 20 beats. Who’d a thunk it possible?
The passion was building again but since I was aware and cautious now, I wanted to enjoy and go with it. I thought I could keep it measured and I did for a while as it does take two. The kissing slowed to half and so did the passion. However, the rest of our bodies started to make up for it and the touching evolved into the sexual. She was still on top of me and my hands were exploring and squeezing on her panty covered butt, then under and in those panties. Her body contact became more targeted as she was now very deliberately mashing her fun stuff all over my fun stuff. The kissing subsided but replaced with the audible accompaniment of her squeaks, moans and quicker breathing timed with her mashing I was no longer in control. The passion was under control but being replaced with something intimately erotic.
I abruptly escaped by gently rolling her over on to her back then getting up and knelling between her legs. I took a moment to catch my breath and wanted to say “That is getting WAY too intimate. Can we get naked and have sex now?” However, I tugged at her panties and said something dorky like “can we take these off now?” Yes, we were still both fully dressed except for her jeans
Since I am the kind of guy who doesn’t kiss and tell, (well, only tells about the kisses) and this is not the forum for it, I am not going to talk about the sexy part over the next 30 minutes. I will tell you that we did finally each get ourselves unceremoniously naked and then the sexy part finishes where it started, with me finishing all over that beautiful tattoo. Of course I did a small celebration gesture that she rolled her eyes to.
*************************************************
Cuddle time. Our snapchats leading up to this encounter were heavy on the anticipation and buildup but didn’t contain a lot of detail about or define what stuff would happen during our “fun” time together.
Me: “Ok then, tomorrow lunchtime, I’m in.”
Her: “OMG Are you saying that you are REALLY going to come here and let me have fun with you?
Me: “I’m REALLY going to come there. I am REALLY going to fully inspect that tattoo, as well as the neighborhood where the tattoo lives.
Her: “I so can’t wait to get my hands on you.”
Me: “WOW….Now that this is real and going to happen, my heart is beating so hard that I am afraid that people can see it through my shirt.”
Her: “You have to tell me, are you being SERIOUS right now? You can’t say this and not show up. It’s OK if you are teasing, but you have to say so that you are now….not tomorrow!!!”
Me: “I am SERIOUS and I PROMISE I will be there. You have gotten to me, BAD. All week with the way we have been talking..err..I mean snapchatting; I can’t get you out of my head. Then today with those tattoo snaps you sent; I can’t get up from my desk. LOL…..NOT kidding NOT teasing.”
Her: “I am BAD, and I like having FUN. I am going to have so much fun with you!!!”
************************************************
The only specific things I recall us acknowledging we would do with our “fun” was tattoo inspection and cuddle time. So as soon as cleanup from sexy time was done we both knew what time it was. For me, as good as the inspection was the cuddle was better. Just as during the sexy time we changed things up and we got to cuddle many ways. We started face to face full contact hugging just like our kissing time with some but less kissing and more being in the moment.
We were still hot (temperature hot now) and sweaty so that didn’t last long. She turned over and we spooned some. I was still craving full body contact but it was still so hot that we had to separate a bit. No contact spooning if you will, with just my one hand caressing her exposed shoulder and arm and hip with an occasional butt cheek squeeze.
It was about that time that we had our first ever personal conversation. On the project there were lots of flirty banter and some personal stories but almost always as part of a group. We had many phone calls and a few project meetings with just us two but never did the conversation get personal. Until now the only personal talks (Chats) we have had have been via Snapchat. I don’t recall who asked the first question of the other, but it was like a dam broke and we started filling in the details of our lives, our feelings and all the things we chatted about.
There was a lot to tell and we were giddy like children (child) best friends re-meeting on the first day of school catching each other up on our summer vacations. At one point she had something compelling to say and faster than a fish out of water she flipped back to facing me so she could gesture with her hand and punctuate through her expression. She landed close. Closer that I think she meant to at first and just a bit awkward I felt. But I was wrong. She didn’t back up an inch. I really couldn’t see her hand but I could feel that she was using it in the 2 to 4 inches of space between our chests. Her face was right into mine. She would lean back or up just an inch when she wanted me to see her eyes or smile or frown for emphasis, then settle back into the pillows with our foreheads or noses or cheeks touching. It was the farthest thing in the world from awkward.
If there was a recurring theme for the day it would be HOT; in every sense and synonym of the word. Again, it was getting too sweaty to remain that close. This time she broke contact to catch a breath and escape the heat. We stopped talking for a moment to breathe and cool off. She sat up, crawled to, and grabbed the (sexy time) clean-up towel that was at the far foot of the bed. She turned around so that she was kneeling facing me as she brought the towel up to her chest to absorb the beads and drips of sweat that had accumulated. As I watched, I again thought of my great fortune to be right here right now feeing what I feel and seeing the beauty before me. She pushed the towel down across her belly button and it fell into her lap.
I observed the soft sunlight reflecting off the white sheets, the white towel, and the white pillows bathed her in perfect light creating just a hint of subtle shadows in all of the right places on her angelic white skin. I started consciously taking photos with my mind. I wanted to capture every nuance and note every detail. I don’t know if I will ever be here again.
I don't recall if my next realization was comprehended in a split second, or if it took ten seconds to develop, but a terrible fear washed over me that for the first time in forever, she was beyond my touch and her next action might be to look for her panties or go jump in the shower. We were after all, deep into the second hour of her hour long lunch.
As I was preparing myself for the pain soon to come, I couldn't understand where it was coming from. I had the BEST DAY EVER, but I felt like an exhausted child who just watched the Disney fireworks finally and knows what that means.
What the hell? What is happening in my head? I don't even know this girl, let alone have feelings for her beyond she made my dick feel good at lunchtime.....and, I guess my ego is healthier since I met her. I have not cheated on my diet since she turned on the flattery the week before. I was sure it had to be somehow manipulative, but I hoped that if only a 5% chance it wasn't AND she liked me AND her mom was single, made it easy to keep my snacking to peas & carrots.
My self esteem has been skyrocketing too, as I have been checking a lot of boxes on my refrigerator. LOL, so many in fact, that I have been adding things to the list after they happened that I didn't dare put on it as they seemed pretty unobtainable just two months before. "Get sent a nude selfie, check. Have the confidence to send one back, check. Take a hottie 32 year old client out to lunch and fuck her brains out, check.
Did I just discover that I like girls who make my self esteem feel good more than I like girls who make my dick feel good?
Shit, that wasn't even on my top ten list. Smart, funny, pretty, Kind, whatever is the opposite of bitchy, fun in bed, boobs and/or an age appropriate figure is always nice, curious, someone you can trust to see you at your worst. Before today, "genuinely being a boost & support of my self esteem" was 10th.
Then BAM. I was hit in the face with the towel. Damn girl, I hope you can handle a spanking because I was just on the verge of making an interpersonal discovery of some importance over here, I thought to myself. I noticed the slightest or possibly mock look of concern on her face as she asks "you're not having any regrets or second thoughts over there are you?". I reflexively replied "Oh god no". Then with some emphasys, I continued "today was incredible. I REALLY needed this and you were PERFECT, thank you".
Again she did not disappoint. She crawled to the top of the bed on the far side and then to me over the pillows and laid down at a 90 angle to me on her stomach parallel to the headboard with her head nearly right on top of mine. She propped herself up a bit on her elbows and we kissed deeply. It was nice.
I made a few attempts to shake my internal drama, get out of my head and get back to my goal of picking my self up after my divorce. Oops, I mean back to pleasing a beautiful woman who clearly was not yet done having her fun with me. The emotional rollercoaster ride over the last hours, days & weeks completely blew out my brains ability to generate or absorb endorphins or whatever happens in a situation like this. Shortly after we had joked around while showering together, kissing goodbye (just like when I kissed my endorphin killing ex wife) and going on back to our separate lives.
I drove the hour or so home, brought my dog to the park and had healthiest and happiest cry I ever had. I don't know what I was feeling or why, but I was feeling again and it brought me much relief and contentedness.
We texted a bit that evening confirming that we each enjoyed our time together and agreeing that we should do that again sometime. The next day, Saturday, her husband took their 5 & 8 year old sons somewhere for the day. We checked in with each other again over text and chatted some about our lunch but the spark or excitement we usually had was not the same.
I reached out again that evening and asked if she was in a place that we could talk on the phone. She resisted but did call me (our first personal phone call). It took her 24 hours to let her cry bubble up. It turns out that our emotional experiences were remarkably similar, albeit from different perspectives.
She much later reveals that she felt emotionally dead for her hubby. She evolved to a bad place where she wanted fuck anyone but her hubby but still fucked him twice a week and had to appear happy to do it, killing her brain chemistry.
We rode the best and worst roller coaster in the world for 6 or 8 months....until the the Cocaine eventually wore off or the unobtainable became obtainable and it wasn't the the same rush for either of us any longer. She was the closest thing to a drug addiction that I ever felt. I never wanted anyone or anything like I wanted her.
My hope is that this story helps one person answer the question "Why the hell would he/she risk giving up their wonderful & loving family for an hour with a douchebag or a skank?"

Hey there!
I had big problems with bookmarks & link managements.
We use multiple social medias, each social media has there own bookmark feature and even they have option to create collection of links inside a folder. But, what is the real purpose of that?

The Problem with Current Bookmarking Systems

On platforms like Instagram and Twitter, we can save links and content, but:

1. We rarely revisit our bookmarks.
2. The bookmarking system is fundamentally broken: no search functionality, no tagging, no sharing options, and no proper organisation.

I needed a place to curate all my (including social media) links in one place, share it with my friends, find it easier. Be it articles, videos, inspirations websites, etc, etc.,

Meet HyperURLs

HyperURLs is designed to solve these problems by streamlining all your saved content into one easily accessible place. Whether it's articles, videos, inspirational websites, or anything else, HyperURLs allows you to:

• Consolidate all your social media links in one place.
• Organise your content with ease.
• Share collections of links effortlessly with friends, regardless of the platform.

Key Features of HyperURLs

1. Centralised Organisation: Gather all your saved links from different social media platforms into one unified system.
2. Enhanced Usability: Say goodbye to endless scrolling. HyperURLs offers powerful filtering and contextual tools to help you find what you need quickly.
3. Seamless Sharing: Share your curated collections with anyone, even if they’re not on the same social media platform.

Why Use HyperURLs?

• Efficiency: Save time by avoiding the hassle of searching through multiple platforms.
• Convenience: Access all your bookmarks from one place, with improved search and tagging capabilities.
• Collaboration: Easily share curated collections with friends, colleagues, or followers.

I hope as an IndieMaker, I am solved an pain point of people who are facing issues with there messy bookmarks. What do you guys think about it? I am genuinely seeking feedbacks and in return I can offer you some discounts on the product itself, trying to make win-win situation for everyone.
Thanks for reading. Have a good one ;)

My husband left for about a month and a half for exercise,I’ve moved home since. He was able to take leave for two week before he actually deploys for the rest of the year. I feel so disconnected to him and can’t imagine how our relationship will pan over the rest of this year. I just don’t want this,I don’t him to miss every holiday,my birthday and family gatherings,I just don’t want it but have no say in the reality.I love my husband to death and would do anything for him but I just hate this,I’m tired of saying goodbye,I’m tired of being away from him,I’m tired of living a separate life from him,I feel like our first years married have been so off and on and although we’ve been fortunate to spend most holidays and birthdays I’m just exhausted. I haven’t had a solid job or been able to finish school in one place,I feel like I’ve missed out on so much and he’s just not there and I know he can’t help it but god do I hate it so much,and I hate how angry and resentful it makes me.I just don’t want this,it feels so unfair.
I know how chaotic this rant is I’m just really upset and feel like I’m at a dead end.

So this happened a few days ago on Sat night/early Sun morning. I know people are going to dismiss it as being untrue but I promise it's 100% true and factual to the best of what I can recall despite being on MDMA at the time.
On Saturday night I went out by myself to a drum n bass rave. I'm a single guy in my early 30s so since I was heading out I made sure I was dressed up in case I met someone. My flirting style is kinda casual I guess, in the sense that I like to start out friendly to see what sort of vibe I get and then go from there, being ready to match it if she gets flirtier back.
So I get there probably 30 mins before the headliner starts. So there's 2 local dj's on first, then the headliner, then 2 more local dj's to close out the night. I wiggle my way through the crowd and find a spot on the floor to dance.
So first girl: This group of 3 girls ended up standing behind me so I turned around and motioned them all a "hi". One girl gave me a much stronger reaction than the other 2 so we started having some fun. Talking a little about the headliner coming up, fist bumps, dance moves, side hugs, stupid little things like that. She had this paper fan so I got her to fan air over my face, then she gave my beard a stroke. I thought things were going well. Then at one point I turn around and she's in the middle of a conversation with some guy that's literally popped up out of nowhere, and I mean like they were properly trying to hash something out, not even a little like "hi how's it going" like we were doing. So I come to the conclusion that she's got a boyfriend I somehow missed and distanced myself a little. Questions of loyalty aside, I don't intend to get my ass kicked over a girl, nor do I like starting arguments between people, so I opted to let that one go.
Second girl: Probably 30-45 mins later, after the headliner had come out (first girl having not left the other dude's side the whole time still talking about whatever they were talking about). I'm dancing and vibing and enjoying myself, now front and centre on the dance floor. This new girl ends up off to my side so I say hi and we start the whole thing again, more silly dance moves and such. At one point a spot opens up right at the front so she grabs my wrist and walks us up. We talk a little more and hug again. Then at one point she looks at her phone for a sec, and then maybe a minute later a dude appears behinds us and she tells me "this is my husband." I'm kinda shittin myself at that point and just say "nice to meet you" and hoped he didn't see me just dance with and hug his wife, but he seemed cool so once again I distanced myself and let them be.
Third girl: And this is the one that confuses me the most because not only did I not even try and hit on her, the revelation of her having a boyfriend came even quicker than the other 2 and she still hung around. So now the headliners gone and it's about halfway through the local dj's sets to close. I'm now at the back to keep some space between me and the other girls. I literally turned around and this new girl is standing next to me. She says hi first and starts asking me about DNB (apparently she'd never been). We chat for a bit and she asks for my name. Then she dips out for a second and when I spot her again she's off to the side talking to some dude that's absolutely plastered and can't stand up without swaying. Initially I didn't even think much of it since I didn't even try to flirt with her, until she came back. When she did she slid right up next to me and said "I came back because I wanted to see you again" in a tone of voice that I can only describe as "being in love" (not even sexily/flirtatiously, like I mean in those 5 minutes she went through falling in love, breaking up and getting back together) and started dancing with me, I obliged but sort of err'd on the side of caution given how my night had gone. Then she did that 2 more times, dipped away to check on/talk with her very intoxicated boyfriend then came back to dance/talk/stare at me like I was going to resolve all her problems. Then half an hour before the club closed she dipped for a final time and I didn't see them again, so I assumed they left. But then as the club closed and I'm walking out guess who's standing outside by the top of the stairs, the girl and her bf. She yelps out my name and runs over to give me a hug and tries to stutter something out for like 10 seconds but just says "it was lovely to meet you" (lovely being the exact word, I'd probably not have paid that any attention if it weren't for everything else). I just said likewise and said my goodbyes to them and skidaddled out of there.
So what I'm confused about is what are the odds that I get flirted with by taken women 3 times in the same night? It happening once or me trying to flirt with 3 different women only to be told straight away they're taken I wouldn't have thought much of it, but this? It confuses me because I'm genuinely not sure if I just hit some astronomical odds to meet 3 cheaters/serial flirts/open relationships/cuckholds in a row or my approach is just that bad (or good? is that a good thing? idk anymore) that I made it happen? I'm interested in hearing what you all think even if you think this post is stupid and fake so please let me know.