This is gonna be really long.
So from the outside,we look like a regular happy family.Both of my parents are physically (rarely) and mentally abusive to me and my sister. Their relationship was extremely toxic from the beginning and still they decided to continue and have not one but two kids.To give a backstory,when I was dealing with epilepsy as a 4-5 years old child,my father didn't support me financially and my maternal grandmother was the was one to help me (mum is a housewife).In 4th grade,he hit me with a coconut oil can and broke 1 one of my teeth.Now we're in a better place though.My mum keeps reminding me that he didn't save me when I had a disease and that I won't be alive if not for her.She also told me that I'll need to sell my body and buy it if the living room tubelight stop working.This was when I was in 10th grade.Now it has become intolerable.Recently my father doesn't enter our home anymore and sleeps in the next floor.Considering it always was a time when they fought,I would say it is for good.Though I have to hand him his dinner which doesn't matter to me.My mum became extremely annoyed over it as according to her,it somehow is a defeat for her as my paternal grandmother once asked my father,if I ever serve him food to which mum responded that her daughter will never do so.3 days back,she started yelling (IDR why) but at that time she started saying how much she doubts why father's interest has grown in me now that I've grown into a young female.She accused me of breaking her home and wearing slutty nightwears at home(my regular nighties since childhood) to seduce my father.All this because father got me a gold ring and some clothes on my 19th birthday.
I've attempted suicide before and done enough selfharm.Even though I've cried enough,I won't do anything like that again.
I don't know what to do anymore.She apologized many times but I can't forgive.
Please tell me what to do. I'm a student and will move as soon as possible after I get a job.But I don't want to lose my family.The even bigger problem is I'm scared for my sister.She's more sensitive than me.What if she does something wrong someday?
Sorry for my bad English.It's not my first language.

I forgot much about how it happened. I had 88 points learning, normally it's 69, but I managed to get almost every buff for learning that I could get as a Roman, starting in Poland in 800s, my former wife(i divorced her so that I can fix my heir) was the second smartest person in earth and would eventually be the oldest person in earth after I had died. How did I achieve this? I keep on joining in activities, learn language in hopes of getting points, even if it's temporary, keep hiring physicians, have your heir killed so you get the youngest one. [History]: I was literally immortal, but I was only a vassal of time. I started at the ripe young age of 16 and married myself to someone, and I immediately seduced her so that I get a baby quick. [Some history later] I betrothed two of my grand children together, but they got inbred traits, meaning their life is forfeit by 16-23 [Some history later] Okay here's the bloody part: I married my grand daughter who had an inbred trait, my grand daughter gave birth to a great grand daughter Grand daughter died from Inbred I married my great grand daughter, as her Father and Great Grand father, meaning I am the child's father grandfather and Great Great Grand father Great Grand Daughter lives on to give birth to Great great grand daughter, as the child's Great grand father, grand father, father, and great great great grand father. Which would be then my Wife. I married my great great grand daughter, in which the game doesn't recognize me anymore to them, as literally the game never thought I would be this mentally ill. She would then give birth after I die 2 weeks before she gives birth.
Why did I do that? I had no heir, they keep on dying because I was outliving my grandchildren and also Inbred trait. Alright so the child(Great great grand daughter): ^{Her grandfather(me} her grandmother(my grand daughter)Her grandfather(me) her grandmother(my grand daughter)) Her father(me)Her mother(great grand daughter) Child --- Husband(me) Child's child(My wedlock son, cause i'm dead.)
If by count... wife... daughter... grand daughter(wife)... great grand daughter(wife)... great great grand daughter(last wife.) child is my Great(1) great(2) great(3) grand(4) daughter(5). Technically, since she is my wife, that means I am my own great great great grandpa I think I forgot someone in the family tree, like an entire generation, but this was literally back in 2023 before college hits me like a brick. That's how I remember what had happened, the save got deleted along with my first ever run of CK3 and all proofs of it has been lost because Messenger has wiped my account and pictures that it had sent. I died 100+ years old, I think 105? Wait if I do the maths, a girl gets pregnant in 16... takes almost a year to be born so 17...I was 16 17 for daughter, 17 for grand daughter, 17 for great grand daughter, 17 for great great grand daughter.... sooo 16,17,17,17,17,managed to lay my great great grand daughter and child is born after so... 16(me),17(daughter),17(granddaughter),17(ggrd),17(gggrd),16(ggggrd)* yeah seems accurate, I died about 1 digit off of 100, but never hit the 2nd digit after 100. My maths might be off... 16(me),17(d),17(grd),17(ggrd),17(gggrd),1(ggggrd): 85 years or +17 because I may have married my great grand daughter and labeled her as my grand daughter instead or maybe i wasn't trying enough, fuzzy memories.
I was then reincarnated as great grand daughter instead of great great grand daughter, but then I died because of inbred so i was reincarnated to my great great grand daughter's brother.
I have mastered making families sideways, and now downwards. Now I need to master it diagonally. I want to try this again just to show you guys it's possible, but I micromanaged that life for 3 days irl, the longest I had spent since my first game.(I love world building on specific characters.)
This would've meant that I have been alive for 6 or 7 whole generations. Whole meaning 16-17 years
Also this is CK3, not real life. Please do not try to do this at home... actually no please never do this.
It is theoretically possible to reach 8 whole generations as I have seen npcs old as 128 years old however in this subreddit I have only seen 116 by Pilgorepax himself, meaning he could've reached 8 whole generations if he had 16,16,16,16,16,16,16,8th gen(4 years), however that requires commitment to the family and micromanagement. At 129 you would've met 9th gen(1 year), however 10th gen is theoretically impossible as that would mean living for 145 years, and the person that has the world record is a smoker named Jeanne Calment(she stopped at 117) and died after 122 years.
Post Scriptum: Nvm it's not Pilgorepax it's Worfore18 122 Post post scriptum: Nvm it's not Worfore18 but Sting__King at 127 years old
New goal in life: Outlive my great grandchild: Checked. Reach 9 family generations: Unchecked.
​

Bonjour!
I made a post last year to explain the French references in S2E1 of drag race France in English (I never really got the motivation to do the rest because I don't know if it's that useful, but if it is, let me know and I'll try and do it). I saw that there weren't French subtitles for the S3 meet the queens on wow+, so I made a translation of the videos in English so non-French speakers can understand the queens' introductions. If subtitles have now been added on the platform (I can't check because I don't have it), let me know and I'll probably delete this, but otherwise, hope it's useful! Sorry if there are mistakes, or weird turns of phrases, English isn't my first language.
Afrodite Amour : I’m ready. I’m Afrodite Amour, A-F-R-O, as in afro, because I’m… black. I’ve been doing drag for a year now, but I’ve been pretty for 27. I'm of Guadeloupean descent. I’m a banker by day, drag queen by night. Metro, travelo^, dodo.^^ When I’m not in heels or wearing a tie, I love lifting weights at the gym. Can you see my muscles through the fabric? I’m the Vin Diesel of French drag. It took me a long time to start doing drag in public because I didn't see anyone like me on the French drag scene - I’m a 6ft tall, 220lbs man in a wig. I felt like people like me weren’t accepted. But when I saw Soa de Muse and La Big Bertha, I realised that there was no point in limiting myself, there’s no set path to becoming a star. My drag is very glamour-oriented and inspired by the 80s. My strengths are: my runways, I'm funny, I can sing, I can dance… I can do everything. I look like Morgan Freeman dressed as Whitney Houston, and I trip and fall over all the time. And it’s not because I wear high heels, my inner ear must not be working properly. I’m on Drag Race France! In some way, I’ve already won just by being here, but that’s not enough. I’m not a sore loser, because I never lose. Who has never dreamed of seeing a bodybuilder queen? All good? I’ll go make myself a sandwich and collect my crown.
^French slang for transvestite.
^^it’s a variation of the phrase “métro, boulot, dodo”/ “metro, job, sleep”, used to summarize a typical working person’s day-to-day life.

Le Filip : Do I have something stuck in my teeth? No? Okay. I’m Le Filip, but you can also call me Tata (auntie) Fifi, or Finette, or Finfin, or Fineline, Fifounette. I’m Croatian. “Hi girls, how are you doing?” I’ve been doing drag for 12 years. I’m the most spacey of Eastern European women.^ I’m a funny drag queen, I do stand up, I perform at weddings, bar mitzvahs… I’d love to perform at funerals, but it seems people don’t have enough of a sense of humor yet. My drag is inspired by all the women in the world – my friends, my mum, Pamela Anderson, Amy Winehouse, my grandmother, may she rest in peace. I’m inspired by dead women, because I have the natural glow of a corpse. I can relate to them. I speak multiple languages, I’m very talented orally – at least I’ve never had any complaints. I’m so tired of talking about myself! I like to smile, and laugh. I sounded just like Mélanie Laurent^^ there. I have a phobia of people eating apples. It makes me profoundly uneasy. I don’t know where that comes from. It doesn’t happen when I’m the one eating an apple, of course. I want to win. I don’t want to have to slap and push the other girls, but who knows, that might happen. I'm slowly realising just how much I want the crown, and I’m scared of what I’m like when I want something. Just ask my boyfriend, I really wanted him, and I’ve been keeping him locked up inside our house for 5 years now. Terrible. Just love each other, babes, okay? But most importantly, love me.
^“être à l’ouest” : “being West” means being a little crazy, weird, spacey, sort of seemingly living in another world and not aware of the reality around you, in French. So it was as a play on words with West/East.
^^she's a very famous French actress.
Magnetica : […] just a little tongue twister. I’m Magnetica, I’m 24, I live in Paris, and I’m of French-Bolivian descent. Some people call me Mag, it’s so funny to me because it sounds like it's short for Magali, and I don’t look like a Magali at all. I’m a drag queen that makes noise. Magnetica is a weird little creature, a little nymph, a little clown, a little alien. I like to be campy, and to make people wonder: “is she on drugs?”. I like to dress in all green, yellow, red, purple, blue… I change colours more often than my underwear. I have many talents: I can play the bagpipes, and climb on a roof without falling off. I have premonitory dreams. I haven’t dreamed that I was winning the crown yet, but I’m sure I will very soon. As a competitor, I’m very sweet, while beating the other girls anyway. “Go on, darling, you’ll be fine.” Just because I’m colourful doesn’t mean I can’t be the villain of the season. I’m going to kill the competition. They can all go home, I’ve already won. Brace yourselves, the monster is coming, and I’ll devour all of you.
Lula Strega : Camera one, Camera two… I love drag, and drag loves me. I’m Lula Strega, and I’m very much a Southern girl^. I’ve been working in Paris for 4 years now. Lula is a good witch, I’m here to bewitch people with my piercing eyes^^ and win them over. Picture little bullets. Nicky, bam, bewitched!^^^ Drag is the ultimate medicine. It’s allowed me to be more comfortable in my body and in my mind. Out of drag, I’m more reserved, I’m a little shy. I’m very gassy, especially in the shower. Bam, in my face. But I don’t think that counts as a talent. I don’t have the pretentiousness to consider myself as funny as Coluche, or Desproges^^^^, but I’m not too shabby. I’m very good at impressions. […] That was Keiona. I can’t dance, and I can’t sing either. That’s why I’m relying on my… creativity! I look sweet and tame, but don’t understimate me, I can be someone you should be scared of if I want to. I’m a confident competitor, I don’t pay attention to my competition. I’m the next queen of France, because we haven’t had a queen under 5ft7 yet, and I think we should. I can’t wait to win the crown. I don’t want you to be under my spell too much, so I’ll leave now.
^from the South of France.
^^the phrase she uses, “yeux revolver” is a phrase meaning eyes/a look that can shoot you, but not in a mean way, rather as in a look that seduces you.
^^^the phrase she uses here, “mettre quelqu’un dans sa poche” / “put someone in your pocket” means completely winning them over with something you do, often strategically so they’re nice to you.
^^^^two extremely famous comedians/humorists in France. If you ask the average French person on the street who is considered/is the best French humorist of all time, there are good chances they'll say one of the two.

Misty Phoenix : Wait. Okay, all good. I almost burped. I’m Misty Phoenix, I’m 24 – wait, no, I’m 23. I’m from Avignon, in the real South^, with our calissons^^, our melons… that’s a lot of words ending in -on. I’m a Capricorn, very important thing to mention. Capricorns have a shitty temper, and I’m a Scorpio rising, which is even worse. I’m a performer, a dancer, and a racaille^^^, I like to bring that element. (What she does afterwards is the sign of Jul, one of the most famous rappers in France, this sign is pretty much just part of French culture now.) Wesh la zone.^^^^ I don’t know how to explain, not like […], more like […]. But I’m pretty, so it’s fine if I act like that. My parents have inspired me to start doing drag. We’ve always liked dressing up, in the family. My mum used to dress up as Dalida, and my dad, as Nana Mouskouri. My dad in Nana Mouskouri drag could have been in the cast, because he’s the spitting image of Nicky Doll. No, I’m joking, that’s not true, don’t keep that in the edit. I love being outrageous. I absolutely would come on stage jumping down from the roof, or by helicopter, if I could. I have a fear of heights, but I’d still do it. I’m not scared of anything. I love showers, I love water. I love drinking water. I’d say I’m an aquatic person, but I’m not a Pisces. Don’t make me laugh! I’m a fierce competitor, but I’m always here to lend a helping hand. I can help you with your makeup if you want, but I’ll make sure you look ugly. I want to win Drag Race France. I don’t know if the other girls are ready to compete against me, because I’m going to kick their asses. I’m not a delicate little flower. The crown is mine.
^the South-West and South-East of France are two very different regions with their own traditions, specialties, accents etc, and people from either region will claim their part of Southern France is the “proper” South.
^^a type of candy that is a specialty from that region of France.
^^^I guess the closest thing in the English language would be “””chav”””, “racaille” in general implies a young person with bad behaviour especially in regards to authority, sometimes committing petty offenses, often talking in a rude manner, dressing in a certain way… it does have racist/classist roots and connotations if used in its usual context by older people or wealthier people, but here it's just funny to see a drag queen describe herself in that way. It's an imperfect definition, explaining accurately what that word means isn't really easy.
^^^^Quite untranslatable, it’s the title of one Jul’s songs, it means “what’s up guys”, in a slang very much associated with rappers for example, honestly I'm not sure I have the words to accurately describe the social context of it in English, but again, it sounds funny coming from a drag queen.

Leona Winter : All good. I’m ready. I’m Leona Winter, I’m 28 – already! Oh my god! I’m of Catalan descent, but mum is Ch’ti^, so I’m both from the North and the South. I’m sweet, a real Care Bear. I love hugs and kisses. I’m known as a beauty queen - with beautiful gowns, jewelry, tight updos with not a single strand of hair out of place - but mainly as a singer. But I’m more than that. I want to break out of this image, I want to have fun, I want to get dirty^^, I’ve had enough of being a beauty, now it’s time for the beast to come out. Nice one, right? We can keep that in the edit. You can say I’m a little used to competitions, I was Miss Europe Continental, Miss Latina Continental… Drag Race is going to be completely different. I’m excited to see what it’ll be like for me. It doesn’t matter what the other girls do, my biggest competition is myself. I have to express all the juice inside of this big orange. Believe me, I can bring it. My special talent is that I have very deep nostrils. Isn’t that glamorous? What the crown represents to me is first of all a lot of money. Me, a material girl? Not at all. I’ll be ready to fight tooth and nail, until I bleed, to get that crown. And the winner of Drag Race France is… me! Obviously. Bye!
^from the Nord-pas-de-Calais region of France.
^^meant not in a sexual way, but as the literal meaning of the word, like "getting your hands dirty".

Norma Bell : Which camera do I look at? That one? How’s my hair? I’m Norma Bell, I’m 25, and I’m originally from Reunion Island. […] Didn’t understand that, did you? But you liked it? That’s what matters. Drag is the most all-encompassing form of expression, to me. It helps me find balance in my day-to-day life. I recommend it to everyone. You do drag, you do drag, you… yeah, no. I have many strengths. I’m a showgirl, I love to set the stage on fire. I want to share that little sparkle that drag ignites in me with people. I want to inspire, and I'd like to exhale too, right now^. I’m a little narcissistic, not going to lie, I think I’m beautiful. Look away! When I was younger, I could fart with my armpits, I don’t know if I can still do it. My nails keep falling off! Being a drag queen means having your nails fall off, your hair hurts, your balls hurt… it’s a high-risk job. I’d say I’m nice, other people say I’m a little mean. I don’t see myself the way other people see me, that’s crazy! Am I delusional? Yes! I’m very excited to be on season 3 of Drag Race France. I’m here to stomp all over these girls, I want to be queen of France. Me with a crown on my head, now wouldn't that be a pretty sight? Start your engines, fasten your seatbelts, put your helmets on, I’m coming. I’m warning you, I haven’t traveled 6 800 miles to not win this crown.
^“inhale” and “inspire” are the same word, in French.

Edeha Noire : I’m Edeha Noire, I’m 34, and I’m from Lyon. I’m way too intense. You’ve got to be extra, in life. I’m sleeping, now I’m awake. I do drag because it’s the only way for me to truly exist, and to shine. I can destroy a bouquet of flowers on stage, tear apart my outfit, just to give something to the audience. I keep giving, giving and giving! I’m a woman, I’m a man, I break every norm. I can cry in a snap of the fingers. Or I can scream. I’m a mum, and my dream is for my daughter to see me on TV. [Elia], I’m here! Mum is on Drag Race, be proud of me! I believe in myself. When I get knocked down, I always get back up. I have an incredible level of motivation. Drag Race is the chance of my life. I want to win, the crown is mine! I want it, I won’t give up. Nicky, be ready for Edeha Noire to light up this competition.

Perseo : I’m Perseo, I’m 21, I’m from the Canary Islands, in Spain. Canarian drag queens wear 13-inch heels, shiny things with rhinestones, helmets, very carnival-y outfits. I’ve been doing ballet since I was very small. I used to dance at the Paris Opera school. I was a “petit rat de l’Opéra”^, yes indeed! I’m all about joy, laughing, partying, I’m the perfect friend for a good night out. In life, I try and listen to what other people have to say, but if it bores me, I’m out. I have a problem with problems. Am I someone the others should be scared of? If I want to, I can be. I can become a demon. If I hit you in the face with my 13-inch heels, you’ll be scared, for sure. Being on Drag Race France is an opportunity for me to show the world who Perseo is. I’m going to give my absolute all in this competition. You have no idea! I may be Spanish, but I’ll win the French crown. Brace yourselves, because I’m going to slay the competition. I’m breaking the set!
^name given to children who enter the school as ballet students.

Ruby on the Nail : Don’t adjust the lights, she has arrived. I’m Ruby on the Nail, and I’m…who am I? I’m 34, I originally come from Marseille, and I’ve been doing drag for 6 years. Ruby on the Nail is beautiful, gorgeous, stunning… Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror and I think “Wow, hello. Who are you? What are you doing in my house?” My drag takes its inspiration from old Hollywood glamour, Rita Hayworth has inspired me a lot, and the Little Mermaid as well, because she has a nice tail.^ I’m very much a drag queen-next-door. You can find me literally on your doorstep. “It’s me, Ruby! Want to see a little performance?” One, and two, and three, and four. I’m known as the lip sync assassin of Paris and its general area. Three, four… That was “La danse des canards”!^^ It’s my favourite song. I want to compete on Drag Race for the glory, and to show my mum how beautiful her son is. Hi, mum! I have two things to say to people watching: never be afraid to be yourself, and I’m single. My number is: 06...- Call me. I’m ready to win, give me the crown! I’ve been waiting for her for three seasons now! It would really suit me, don’t you think? Are we done? Can I go? Bye!
^in French, “queue”/”tail” is a familiar way of saying penis.
^^“The Duck Dance”… a silly song released in the 80s that every single French person knows, literally one of the best-selling singles of all time here.

This is part 2 of my list for Virginia's post Furman execution roster. As mentioned in part 1's opening paragraph, character count limitations forced me into splitting my Virginia's execution roster into two separate posts. For the link to part 1, please click here.
59. Kevin Cardwell (1991-1998, lethal injection): Cardwell intercepted Anthony Brown, a 15 year old drug carrier, while he was at a bus stop. He lured Brown into his apartment and searched his belongings for any drugs. Brown was then dragged into the woods, shot to death, and stripped of the cocaine strapped to his legs.
60. Mark Sheppard (~1980s-1999, lethal injection): Sheppard and his accomplice Andre Graham were invited by their dealers, 40 year old Richard and 35 year old Rebecca Rosenbluth, over to their home to buy cocaine. However, an argument broke out during the transaction, and Sheppard shot the couple to death. The pair then drove away from the scene with the couple's car and a few undisclosed stolen items. Sheppard had a long history of violence that dated back to when he was 9 years old.
61. Tony Fry (1994-1999, lethal injection): Fry and his partner shot Leeland Jacobs, a 42 year old car salesman, while robbing his Ford Dealership. The pair tied Jacobs to a car they stole while he was still alive, and dragged him to death.
62. George Quesinberry Jr. (1989-1999, lethal injection): Quesinberry shot 63 year old Thomas Haynes while breaking into his office with an accomplice. When Haynes survived the initial shooting, Quesinberry hit him in the head with the gun and fractured his skull. The pair stole a total of $200 in the robbery.
63. David Fisher (~1970s(?)-1999, lethal injection): Fisher was paid $7,000 by an associate to kill 18 year old David Wilkey in retaliation for abandoning a murder scheme. Originally, Wilkey was part of a conspiracy to seduce and marry a young woman in order to kill her for an insurance policy, but backed out when he genuinely fell in love with the would be victim. He was tricked into going on a hunting trip with Fisher and shot to death by him. Fisher had 25 previous criminal convictions and was involved with organized crime. He was in the witness protection program at the time of Wilkey’s murder.
64. Carl Chichester (1991-1999, lethal injection): During a holdup of a Little Caesars, Chichester shot and killed the manager, 30 year old Timothy Rigney, for refusing to open the cash register. He and his two accomplices ran off with a total of $110.
65. Arthur Jenkins III (1991-1999, lethal injection): Jenkins and his teenage brother shot and killed their uncle, 72 year old Floyd, and their uncle's friend, 69 year old Lee Brinklow. They then stole their wallets and sacked Floyd's home for any money and valuables.
66. Eric Payne (~1980s-1999, lethal injection): Payne broke into the residences of two women, 61 year old Ruth Parham and 57 year old Sally Fazio, and raped them. Both women were beaten to death with a hammer, and he took money from their drawers and pocket books. He had a history of drug possessions and exposing himself to women.
67. Ronald Yeatts (1989-1999, lethal injection): Yeatts and an accomplice invaded 70 year old Ruby Dodson's home and stabbed her to death. The pair grabbed her purse during the burglary and divided up the money they found in it.
68. Tommy Strickler (1989-1999, lethal injection): Strickler and his partner kidnapped 19 year old Leann Whitlock from a mall and crushed her head with a 70 pound boulder. Whitlock's car and credit cards were stolen during the attack.
69. Marlon Williams (~1980s(?)-1999, lethal injection): Williams was paid $4,000 to murder 44 year old Helen Bedsole by his dealer, who was also her estranged husband. The couple were in the midst of a bitter divorce at the time, and the dealer wanted to both collect a life insurance policy and prevent Helen from dividing up their assets. He suck into the couple’s home, and shot and killed Helen in the kitchen. Williams had an extensive criminal history, which included cutting the throat of his ex girlfriend’s grandmother, 71 year old Virgina Parker, during a bungled attempt on her life.
70. Everett Mueller (1990-1999, lethal injection): 10 year old Charity Powers was dropped off at a skating ring by her mother. She was supposed to be picked up by her mother's friend, but they didn't show up due to failing asleep in their home. While Powers was waiting outside the ring in vain for her ride, she was abducted by Mueller. He raped the girl, slashed her throat, and dumped the body in a nearby forest.
71. Jason Joseph (1992-1999, lethal injection): While robbing a Subway with an accomplice, Joseph shot and killed one of the clerks, 22 year old Jeffrey Anderson.
72. Thomas Royal Jr. (~1991-1999, lethal injection): Royal and 3 other gang members fatally shot a police officer, 29 year old Kenneth Wallace, while he was sitting in his patrol car. Wallace was killed as part of the gang's campaign to target law enforcement agents. Royal and his fellow gang members were also suspected in the shooting of James Smith Jr. (age unknown), a Vietnam veteran, outside his trailer, but the charges were dropped from the lack of sufficient evidence.
73. Andre Graham (~1993-1999, lethal injection): Graham assisted the above mentioned Mark Sheppard in the Rosenbluth murders. He also shot and killed a waitress, 20 year old Sheryl Stack, and injured a 23 year old man while robbing a restaurant on his own, and is suspected in a total of 10 murders.
74. Douglas Thomas (1990-2000, lethal injection): The parents of Thomas' 14 year old girlfriend, 33 year old James and 33 year Kathy Wiseman, barred her from seeing him. In a bid to continue their relationship, Thomas and his girlfriend shot them to death in their home.
75. Steve Roach (1993-2000, lethal injection): Roach shot and killed 70 year old Mary Hughes on her doorstep and stole her credit card. He was caught on tape trying to use Hughes' stolen cards to pull money out of an ATM machine in North Carolina.
76. Lonnie Weeks Jr. (1993-2000, lethal injection): Weeks was pulled over by a state trooper, 50 year old Jose Cavazos, for speeding while driving a stolen car. In the confrontation that followed, he shot Cavazos dead after climbing out of the car, and fled the scene. He was captured hiding in a nearby motel after an hour long manhunt.
77. Michael Clagett (1994-2000, electric chair): Clagett's girlfriend was fired from her job as a hotel waitress by the management, and the couple decided to retaliate by robing the establishment. They shot and killed the owner Lam Van Son, a 41 year old Vietnamese refugee, a waitress, 31 year old Karen Rounds, two other employees, 31 year old Karen Rounds and 32 year old Wendell Parish Jr., and a customer Abdelaziz Gren, a 34 year old Moroccan immigrant, and took $400 in cash from the register. Van Son’s 3 year old son was sleeping in the backroom during the attack, but the couple left him unharmed.
78. Russel Burket (1993-2000, lethal injection): Burket snuck into the home of 30 year old Katherine Tafelski while her Navy SEALs husband was deployed overseas, and sexually assaulted her. Katherine and her 5 year old daughter Ashley were both beaten to death with a "rusty" crowbar.
79. Derek Barnabei (1993-2000, lethal injection): Barnabei seduced a fellow Old Dominion University student, 17 year old Sarah Wisnosky, into a relationship with him and kidnapped her. She was raped, partially strangled, beaten to death with a hammer, and dumped into a river near campus grounds. Due to him being of Italian ancestry, his death sentence and execution sparked outrage in Italy.
80. Bobby Ramdass (1992-2000, lethal injection): Ramdass was condemned for the shooting death of Mohammed Kayani, a 34 year old Pakistani immigrant working as a clerk, during a convenience store robbery. He also shot dead 19 year old Darrell Ferguson in an alley and wounded a cab driver in other robberies.
81. Christopher Goins (1994-2000, lethal injection): Goins broke into the home of his 14 year old girlfriend (who was 7 months pregnant with his child). He shot and killed her parents, 35 year old James and 29 year old Daphne Jones, and her siblings, 9 year old Nicole and 4 year old David. The girlfriend and her youngest sibling, 21 month old Kenya, were also shot in the attack. Both of them survived, but the unborn child was lost in the shooting.
82. Thomas Akers (1998-2001, lethal injection): Akers and his accomplice were driving with their friend, 24 year old Wesley Smith. When they pulled over on a road to urinate, they pounced on Smith. In the attack, he was strangled with a belt and beaten to death with a baseball bat. They pair then grabbed $200 from his wallet and dumped his body in a creek. While on death row, Akers demanded his execution and made threats against the judge who sentenced him if it wasn't carried out.
83. Christopher Beck (1995-2001, lethal injection): Out of anger for being fired, Beck invaded the house of his former employer, 52 year old William Miller. He waited for him and his two roommates, 54 year old Florence Marks and 34 year old David Kaplan, to return home and shot and stabbed them all to death. Marks was also raped in the attack. Although Beck claimed that he "only" staged a sexual assault on her, a medical examination confirmed that she was abused in that manner. Beck stole several guns, bicycles, and money in the robbery.
84. James Patterson (1987-2002, lethal injection): Patterson held his friend's mother, 56 year old Joyce Aldridge, in her home at knifepoint. Enraged that she only had a few coins in her purse, he raped Aldridge, stabbed her 3 times, and left her to die. When Aldridge managed to crawl to a phone to call her son for help, Patterson returned and stabbed her 14 more times. Although Aldridge's murder was left unsolved for years, Patterson was later imprisoned for raping an 18 year old girl, and DNA found at the murder was traced to his samples filed in the inmate database in 2000.
85. Daniel Zirkle (1999-2002, lethal injection): Zirkle's girlfriend broke off their relationship due to his violent behavior and filed protective orders against him. He was arrested for violating them and sentenced to a few months in jail. After his release, Zirkle went to his ex girlfriend's home without her permission to visit their daughter, 4 year old Christina. However, the ex girlfriend's other daughter, 14 year old Jessica Shifflett, blocked him from coming inside. He stabbed her to death and kidnapped Christina. He then drove Christina to the George Washington National Forest, slit her throat, and stabbed himself in a failed suicide attempt.
86. Walter Mickens Jr. (~1974-2002, lethal injection): Mickens ambushed and sodomized 17 year old Timothy Hall, and stabbed him 143 times. He stripped the boy of nearly all of his clothing, and left him to die in an abandoned apartment. A long time sexual predator and career criminal, Mickens had several robbery and sodomy convictions dating back to the 70s. One of his previous incidents involved breaking into an elementary school, and coercing a teacher of her purse by threatening the life of a 7 year old student. He also had a conviction for sexually assaulting a cellmate.
87. Aimal Kasi (1993-2002, lethal injection): In his efforts to fight against American foreign policy regarding Islamic nations, Kasi attacked the Langley CIA headquarters with a Type 56 assault rifle. He shot dead 2 CIA employees, 66 year old Lansing Bennett and 28 year old Frank Darling, and wounded 3 others. Kasi then fled to Afghanistan, but was lured into his native Pakistan to be captured in a joint FBI-CIA led operation, and extradited back to the United States to face trial.
88. Earl Bramblett (~1970s(?)-2003, electric chair): Bramblett had molested 11 year old Winter Hodges and feared that her parents, 41 year old William and 37 year old Teresa, were planning on reporting him to the police. In an attempt to prevent that from happening, he attacked the family in their home. Teresa was strangled, while William, Winter, and another daughter, 3 year old Anah, were shot dead. Bramblett then set the house on fire to destroy any evidence of the murders. He had several abuse allegations and was also suspected in the 1977 disappearances of two 14 year old girls, Tammy Akers and Angela Rader, that worked for him, but was never charged for any of them.
89. Bobby Swisher (1997-2003, lethal injection): Swisher abducted 22 year old Dawn Snyder from her flower shop at knife point and raped her. He slashed Snyder's throat and dumped her into a nearby river. Despite managing to swim back to shore, Snyder succumbed to her injuries on the river bank.
90. Brian Cherrix (1994-2004, lethal injection): Cherrix ambushed 23 year old Tessa Van Hart while she was trying to deliver a pizza. He sodomized and shot Van Hart twice in the head, and left the body in her car. The crime was left unsolved until Cherrix was arrested for shooting and wounded his brother two years later. In an attempt to secure leniency, Cherrix disclosed some details of Van Hart's murder, but tried pinning it on a deceased cousin. He only confessed when investigators learned that the cousin couldn't have possibly done it.
91. Dennis Orbe (1998-2004, lethal injection): Orbe fatally shot Richard Burnett, a 39 year old clerk, while robbing a grocery store, and seized $90 from the register.
92. Mark Bailey (1998-2004, lethal injection): Bailey shot and killed his wife, 22 year old Katherine, and their 2 year old son, Nathan, while they were laying in bed. He claimed to investigators that the murders were done out of anger for Katherine's alleged infidelity.
93. James Hudson (2002-2004, lethal injection): In a feud over a driveway, Hudson broke into the home of the Cole family (consisting of brothers, 64 year old Thomas and 56 year old Walter, and Thomas' wife, 64 year old Patsy) to confront them with a shotgun. He shot all three of the Coles dead and drove away from the scene. Hudson was captured after nearly a day long manhunt.
94. James Reid (1996-2004, lethal injection): Reid stabbed 87 year old Annie Lester 22 times with a pair of scissors, beat her with a can of milk, and strangled her with the cord of a heating pad. He left the body in her bedroom and fled her house. Although the evidence for his guilt was overwhelming (which included the blood on his clothes matched Lester's DNA, several of his fingerprints were discovered on the murder weapons, samples of his saliva were found on a cigarette butt in her house, and his handwriting was identical to the writing of a death threat sent to Lester), Reid's death sentence and execution was contested on the grounds of him allegedly having brain damage from a car accident, seizures, and alcoholism. The motivations behind Lester's murder remain unknown, but prosecutors suspected that it might have been part of a bungled robbery or rape attempt.
95. Dexter Vinson (1997-2006, lethal injection): Vinson attacked his ex girlfriend, 25 year old Angela Felton, near her home. Felton tried to escape by driving away, but he rammed her car with his, and forced her inside it. She was then dragged into a vacant house, raped, beaten, and stabbed in the face, neck, arms, buttocks, stomach, and vagina. The body was left in the house as Vinson fled the scene.
96. Brandon Hedrick (1997-2006, electric chair): Hendrick kidnapped a sex worker, 23 year old Lisa Crider, while he was cruising for prostitutes. Initially, Crider and Hendrick had engaged in paid consensual relations, but the situation turned violent when he robbed her of $50 at gunpoint. She was then raped, shot in the face, and dumped into a river.
97. Michael Lenz (~1990s-2006, lethal injection): While serving 29 years for a burglary and weapons possession conviction, Lenz stabbed a fellow inmate, 41 year old Brent Parker, to death. Both were part of a Nordic Neopaganism sect, and the killing was committed over Parker allegedly not expressing enough devotion to their deities. Parker was serving a life sentence for killing a friend during a drunken rage at the time of his own murder.
98. John Schmitt (1999-2006, lethal injection): During a holdup of a bank, Schmitt shot and killed the guard, 39 year old Shelton Dunning, and took $35,000 from the vaults.
99. Kevin Green (1998-2008, lethal injection): Green and his teenage nephew stormed a convenience store, and forced the owners, 68 year old Lawrence Vaughan and his wife, 53 year old Patricia, to hand over $9,000 in cash. They then shot the couple, killing Patricia and wounding Lawrence.
100. Robert Yarbrough (1997-2008, lethal injection): Yarbrough and his accomplice tied up 77 year old Cyril Hamby while robbing his grocery store. They subjected Hamby to beatings and nearly decapitated him with a pocket knife. The pair then stole beer, wine, cigarettes, and an undisclosed amount of money.
101. Kent Jackson (2000-2008, lethal injection): Jackson and an accomplice attacked 79 year old Beulah Kaiser in her apartment, and raped her. She was stabbed several times in the neck, beaten, and her cane was shoved down her throat after she was anally penetrated with it. A cigarette butt found at the crime scene was traced to the pair.
102. Christopher Emmett (2001-2008, lethal injection): Emmett was staying at a motel room with a coworker, 43 year old John Langley, while they were working on an out of town roofing job. The pair played cards until Langley went to bed. As he slept, Emmett bludgeoned him to death with a lamp, and stole $100 from his wallet. He used the stolen money to buy crack cocaine.
103. Edward Bell (~1990s-2008, lethal injection): While running away from officers trying to arrest him for a parole violation, Bell shot and killed one of his pursers, 32 year old Sergeant Ricky Timbrook. Bell had a long criminal record, which included several felony and misdemeanor convictions of assault, burglary, carrying conceal weapons, and was found to have stolen a car during the investigations of Timbrook's murder.
104. John Muhammad (~1999-2008, lethal injection): The so called “D.C. Sniper”, Muhammad shot and killed 17 random people between the ages of 21-76 with the help of a teenage accomplice in mostly sniper attacks. The killings took place in the national capital, hence the epithet, and across several states. Due to his affiliation with the Nation of Islam and the accomplice’s accounts of planning terrorist attacks and training camps, Muhammad’s murder spree are often considered to be acts of Islamic extremism in the media. However, experts believe that his real intentions was to kill his estranged wife using the sniper attacks as a mask. Muhammad had a long history of domestic violence, and had abducted his children from his estranged wife on numerous occasions. His accomplice had also accused him of sexual abuse a few years after his execution.
105. Larry Elliott (2001-2008, electric chair): Elliott, a former military counterintelligence agent, was in an online "sugar daddy" relationship with a much younger woman. At the woman's request, Elliott sent her over $450,000, which she used to pay for a home, credit card, car, breast enhancement surgery, and enrolling her children in a private school. The woman was also involved with a bitter custody dispute with her children's father, 30 year old Robert Finch. In an attempt to win the woman's devotion, Elliott shot and killed Finch in his home, and beat Finch's girlfriend, 25 year old Dana Thrall, to death with the butt of his gun.
106. Paul Powell (1999-2010, electric chair): Angry that his friend, 16 year old Stacie Reed, was in an interracial relationship, Powell made an attempt to rape her in her home. When she fought back, Powell stabbed her to death. He also tied up Stacie's 14 year old sister to be raped, stabbed, and strangled, and left the girl to die in the family's basement. The sister managed to survive with the timely arrival of their stepfather, who called the police and the paramedics to the scene. On the mistaken belief that the death penalty was off the table, Powell sent letters flaunting the lewd details of the murder to taunt the prosecutors, judge, and the victims’ family.
107. Darick Walker (~1996-2010, lethal injection): In 1996, Walker walked up to the door of 36 year old Stanley Beale, and angrily accused him of showing up at his home despite the fact that they were complete strangers. He then shot Beale dead in front of his children and girlfriend, and ran away from the scene. A year later, Walker forced himself into an apartment, and shot 34 year old Clarence Threat seven times while he was laying in bed with his girlfriend. Walker had a history of violence and frequently stole from his friends and family. In one reported incident, he kicked the stomach of a pregnant woman in an act of rage.
108. Teresa Lewis (2002-2010, lethal injection): Lewis conspired with two men that she had a sexual relationship with to kill her husband, 51 year old Julian, and her stepson, 25 year old Charles. Charles was about to be deployed to participate in the then upcoming invasion of Iraq, which gave him a $250,000 life insurance policy that Lewis wanted to collect from both him and his father. She let her accomplices inside their trailer, and shot Julian and Charles while they were sleeping. Charles was killed immediately, while Julian, who witnessed Lewis pay the attackers, survived long enough to notify the responders of his wife's involvement.
109. Jerry Jackson (2001-2011, lethal injection): Jackson broke into the apartment of 88 year old Ruth Phillips, and woke her up while he was rummaging through her room. Despite Phillips' pleas for her life, Jackson raped her and suffocated her to death with a pillow. He stole her car and a total of $60 in the break in, and spent the stolen money on marijuana.
110. Robert Gleason (2007+(?)-2013, electric chair): In 2007, Gleason shot and killed 54 year old Michael Jamerson, in order to prevent him from testifying about his drug trafficking activities, and was given a life sentence for the murder. While incarcerated, he tied up and strangled his cellmate, 63 year old Harvey Watson (who serving a life sentence for a mass shooting). Prison officials then transferred him to a high security prison to await trial for Watson’s murder, but he managed to strangle another inmate, 26 year old Aaron Cooper (who was serving 34 years for robbery), to death with the wire that separated their cages. Gleason demanded the death penalty, which was given to him by the courts. He also claimed that he committed several other killings before Jamerson, but his additional confessions currently remain unverifiable.
111. Alfredo Prieto (~1984-2015, lethal injection): Prieto was both a serial killer of young women and a member of the Pomona Northside street gang. His sexual crimes involved the abductions, rapes, and shooting deaths of at least 4 females, 24 year old Tina Jefferson, 22 year old Rachael Raver, 19 year old Stacey Siegrist, and 15 year old Yvette Woodruff. Raver and Siegrist’s partners, 22 year old Warren Fulton III and 21 year old Anthony Gianuzzi, were also murdered during their kidnappings. The other known victims, 27 year old Manuel Sermeno, and couple, 71 year old Lula and 65 year old Herbert Farley, were shot dead during robberies. In the home invasion that killed Woodruff, Prieto and his fellow gang members also abducted her 17 year old friend and the friend’s 33 year old mother. The mother and daughter pair were gang-raped, shot and stabbed together, but they managed to escape with their lives. Prieto was sentenced to death in both California and Virginia, but stayed in California’s San Quentin until his death warrant was signed in Virginia. He had also shot and injured 3 gang members over his suspicions of them sleeping with his wife, but was lightly sentenced due to the victims' gang affiliations.
112. Ricky Gray (~2005-2017, lethal injection): Gray and his similarly aged nephew murdered at least 9 people, which composed of a lone woman, 35 year old Treva Gray, and two entire families, the Harveys (consisting of parents, 49 year old Bryan and 39 year old Kathryn, and their daughters, 9 year old Stella and 4 year old Ruby), and the Baskerville-Tuckers (consisting of 21 year old Ashley, her 46 year old mother Mary, and Mary’s 55 year old husband Percyell) in a week long burglary spree. Almost all of the victims were tied up and gagged in their homes, and beaten to death with hammers or had their throats slit. Before she was killed by them with her parents, victim Ashley Baskerville had assisted Gray and his nephew in several of their robberies. The pair stole any items and valuables they could carry, and were reported to have taken money, computers, television sets, wedding rings, and even cookies. They were also linked to several non fatal assaults, one of which involved a 26 year old man being beaten into a coma.
113. William Morva (~2005-2017, lethal injection): Morva, a son of Hungarian immigrants, and an accomplice were arrested while trying rob a grocery store at gunpoint. While awaiting trial, he badly sprained his ankle and wrist in prison, and was transferred to the Montgomery Regional Hospital for treatment. He overpowered a deputy guarding him with a metal toilet-paper container, stole his gun, fatally shot Derrick McFarland, a 25 year old hospital security guard, and escaped. Morva then fled to Virginia Tech’s campus, and shot and killed 40 year old Eric Sutphin, one of the police officers chasing him.

Here is the list of the currently 73 inmates executed by the state of Alabama that I wrote for my post Furman death penalty project. Alabama has set plans to carry out additional executions in the next few months, and this list might be reposted with the updated information if they happen as scheduled.
Something that should also be clarified is the dates given here are an approximate timeline of their earliest known criminal activities to their executions rather then time spent on death row. Many of the cases here are quite graphic by nature, and I don't shy away from it in my descriptions. Please read at your own risk.
The states I have left are Georgia, Florida, Missouri, Virginia, Oklahoma, and the still in progress Texas. I'll probably post my list for Georgia next whenever I have time next week.
The currently executed 73 offenders:
1. John Evans III (~1976+-1983, electric chair): A year after Evans was paroled, he and another ex convict, Wayne Ritter, went on a two month long crime spree that involved 30 armed robberies, 9 kidnappings, and 2 extortion incidents. Their rampage ended when they shot dead 34 year old Edward Nassar in front of his daughters while robbing his pawn shop. Evans' execution was controversial, as it took 24 minutes and three pulls of the switch to electrocute him. Any information on his crimes before his 1977 spree is unavailable to me.
2. Arthur Jones (1981-1986, electric chair): Jones gunned down Vaughn Thompson, a 21 year old storekeeper, and William Waymon, a 72 year old cab driver, in two robberies.
3. Wayne Ritter (1976-1986, electric chair): Ritter was the accomplice of the above mentioned John Evans. After being released from prison, he assisted him in several robberies, abductions, and the murder of Edward Nassar. Like Evans, Ritter's earlier criminal history wasn't disclosed in the sources on hand.
4. Michael Lindsey (1981-1989, electric chair): Lindsey broke in the home of 64 year old Rosemary Rutland. After tying her up, he shot and stabbed Rutland to death, and stole her Christmas presents.
5. Horace Dunkins Jr. (1980-1989, electric chair): Dunkins abducted 26 year old Lynn McCurry, bound her to a tree, and raped her. He stabbed McCurry 66 times, and left her body on the tree she was tied to. His execution was a source of controversy, as Dunkins was allegedly cognitively disabled.
6. Herbert Richardson (1977-1989, electric chair): Richardson threw a pipe bomb into the home of one of his ex girlfriend's family members in retaliation for her breaking up with him. Her niece, 11 year old Rena Callins, was killed in the attack.
7. Arthur Julius (1972-1989, electric chair): In 1972, Julius beat his boss, 74 year old Herbert Chisenhall, to death during an argument over his wages. He was given a life sentence, but was able to leave custody in 1978 on a one day release. Julius took advantage of his leave to rape his cousin, 29 year old Susie Sanders, in her home. She was strangled to death during the assault.
8. Wallace Thomas (1976-1990, electric chair): Thomas and a partner abducted 21 year old Quenette Shehane from a convenience store. She was raped, robbed, and shot to death.
9. Larry Heath (1981-1992, electric chair): Out of a desire to marry another woman, Heath orchestrated the kidnapping of his 21 year old wife Rebecca (who was 9 months pregnant with their child) with the help of some men he hired. She was abducted from their home and shot in the head.
10. Cornelius Singleton (~1972-1992, electric chair): Singleton was condemned for the robbery of a Catholic monastery that ended with the fatal strangulation of a nun, 51 year old Ann Hogan. His execution was hotly contested by his lawyers and supporters, who have alleged misconduct in the trial and investigation. Despite the controversy, Hogan's stolen watch was found in Singleton's possession. Singleton was previously convicted for a 1972 incident involving arson and burglary.
11. Willie Clisby Jr. (1979-1995, electric chair): Clisby broke into the home of 58 year old Fletcher Handley, beat him to death with an ax handle, and left with $80 in hand.
12. Varnell Weeks (1981-1995, electric chair): Weeks abducted and carjacked 24 year old Mark Batts. He bound Batts, placed a pillowcase on his head, and shot him through it. While driving Batts' stolen car in Ohio, he was flagged down by police officers, and Weeks fired on them in the confrontation. In the shootout, Weeks was captured without any causalities to the responding officers. His execution was controversial, as his lawyers claimed that he was a paranoid schizophrenic.
13. Edward Horsley Jr. (~1976-1996, electric chair): After escaping from prison with Brian Baldwin, Horsley abducted 16 year old Naomi Rolon while she was hitchhiking. Horsley raped and dismembered Rolon with an ax, and ran her body over. Although Horlsey's culpability is an overwhelming certainty, the extent of Baldwin's alleged involvement is a significant source of contention. Horsley was previously convicted of a string of robberies that ended up with a non-fatal shooting of a police officer.
14. Billy Waldrop (1982-1997, electric chair): Waldrop snuck into the home of 72 year old Thurman Donahoo and shot him in the head. He then stole $130 and a 5-carat diamond ring. To destroy any evidence of his crime, Waldrop burned the house down, and fled to California. While in hiding, he was detained by the local law enforcement for a DUI and extradited back to Alabama to face trial.
15. Walter Hill (~1952-1997, electric chair): As a teenager in the early 50s, Hill beat Sam Atmore (age unknown) to death. He was given a 10 year sentence for that murder, and took part in an escape attempt that was temporarily successful because of the watchman's negligence. After his release, Hill became a career criminal and was involved with several abduction robberies, and wound up in a cycle of repeatedly being in and out of prison. During one of his incarcerations, Hill stabbed an unidentified inmate to death, but was cleared of any charges on the grounds of self defense. In 1977, Hill started an illicit "relationship" with a 13 year old girl, and sought the permission of her stepmother, 60 year old Willie Hammock, to marry but she refused. Out of anger, Hill shot Hammock, her 34 year old daughter Lois Tatum, and Lois' 36 year old husband John dead in their home, and abducted the girl and her 16 year old adopted brother. The brother managed to escape, but Hill kidnapped a motorist he encountered in Georgia. The man escaped captivity in North Carolina, and reported Hill and the abducted girl to the local police.
16. Henry Hays (1981-1997, electric chair): Hays was a member of a local Ku Klux Klan chapter, and the son of one of the most prominent KKK leaders in Alabama. In the area, the sentencing of a black man, who was accused of murdering a white policeman, kept on getting delayed due to a string of mistrials. Hays and other members of the KKK chapter interpreted it as a sign that blacks will be able to get away with murdering whites, and sought revenge by lynching a black person at random. The unfortunate victim was 19 year old Michael Donald, who was abducted while walking home from a gas station. Donald was beaten with a tree stump, strangled with a rope, and his throat slit by Hays and his fellow Klansmen. His body was hung on a nearby tree.
17. Steven Thompson (1984-1998, electric chair): Thompson abducted 25 year old Robin Balarzs, a friend's fiancee, from her home. After he tied up and gagged her, Thompson raped Balarz and penetrated her with a knife, shaved her head, and dragged her to death with his car over a distance of 3,000 feet. He stole Balarz's wedding ring and a dollar from her purse, and sexually mutilated her body.
18. Brian Baldwin (~1977-1998, electric chair): Baldwin was the accused accomplice of the above mentioned Edward Horsley, and allegedly helped him with the sex murder of Naomi Rolon after they escaped from prison together. As mentioned in Horsley's section, Baldwin's involvement with Rolon's killing remains hotly contested to this day, and he and his supporters alleged that he was set up by institutionalized racism and tortured into confessing by investigating police officers. He was previously in prison for stealing a car.
19. Victor Kennedy (~1980-1999, electric chair): Kennedy, a career burglar, and an accomplice, Darrell Grayson, broke into the home of 86 year old Annie Orr to search for money. They bound, beat, raped, and suffocated her with a pillow case. When they failed to find any money, Kennedy and Grayson left the residence empty handed.
20. David Duren (1983-2000, electric chair): Duren and an accomplice kidnapped 16 year old Kathleen Bedsole and her date, 17 year old Charles Leonard, and stole $20 that was given to them by Bedsole's father. The couple were tied together, and locked in the trunk for several hours. When Duren stoped his car, he shot both of the teenagers. Bedsole was killed, while Leonard managed to survive and escape.
21. Freddie Wright (1977-2000, electric chair): Wright was convicted of robbing a store owned by couple, 40 year old Warren and 37 year old Lois Green, with 3 other men. The Greens were tied together, dragged into a backroom, and shot to death. Their watches and $900 were stolen in the robbery. His execution was controversial, as his attorneys and supporters push that he was convicted both out of racism and the participants allegedly naming him to avoid death sentences.
22. Robert Tarver Jr. (1984-2000, electric chair): Tarver fatally shot 63 year old Hugh Kite, while he and an accomplice were robbing him outside of his store. Kite was just done closing his store when he was attacked, and had $80 taken from him.
23. Pernell Ford (1983-2000, electric chair): Ford forced himself into the home that 70 year old Willie Griffin shared with her 42 year old daughter Linda. He stabbed both of them to death after a struggle. Several undisclosed items were stolen from the Griffin home, and Ford used their car to flee to Illinois.
24. Lynda Block (1992-2002, electric chair): Block, her common law husband, George Sibley, and her 9 year old son were sitting in car that was parked in a Walmart parking lot. A passerby was concerned by Block's son apparently looking distressed, and reported them to the police. When a police officer, 38 year old Roger Motley, came to question them, Block and Sibley shot him to death. The couple was previously involved in assaulting and stabbing Block's ex husband in a dispute over their home, a crime they were on the run from at the time of Motley's murder.
25. Anthony Johnson (1984-2002, lethal injection): While Johnson and two unidentified men were robbing a jewelry store, they engaged in a gun-battle with the owner, 51 year Kenneth Cattrell, and killed him. Although Johnson's wasn't directly responsible for Cattrell's death and only acted as a lookout, he was the only member of the gang to be captured, and thus bore the brunt of the judicial retributions when he refused to testify against them.
26. Michael Thompson (1984-2003, lethal injection): During a nighttime convenience store robbery, Thompson kidnapped the clerk, 57 year old Maisie Gray. Thompson forced Gray into his car, drove her to a well, and tossed her inside it. He then shot a trapped Gray to death with his married girlfriend holding a torch for him. His girlfriend had a longstanding record for armed robberies, and Thompson's defense tried to use the argument that she goaded him into the killing or did it herself.
27. Gary Brown (1996-2003, lethal injection): Brown and a few other men went to the home of Jack McGraw, a 59 year old Korean War veteran, to "party." On numerous previous occasions, McGraw had paid them for sex acts. They planned on robbing McGraw's house after he passed out drunk, but he refused to drink as he had work the next morning. Undeterred, Brown and his accomplices attacked McGraw, and stabbed him a combined total of 78 times. More specifically, McGraw's back was stabbed 59 times, his throat and neck were slashed 16 times, and he had 3 cut wounds on his head. The group then stole $67 and a VCR set from his home.
28. Thomas Fortenberry (1984-2004, lethal injection): Fortenberry fatally shot four people, 51 year old Wilbur Nelson, 43 year old Robert Payne, Robert's 29 year old wife Nancy, and 21 year old Ronald Guest, while attempting to rob a gas station.
29. James Hubbard (~1957-2004, lethal injection): In 1957, Hubbard shot and killed 28 year old Carl Dockery in what was described as a "domestic disturbance." He was paroled in 1976 with the help of 62 year old Lillian Montgomery, a woman he befriended behind bars. Hubbard repaid the favor by shooting and killing her while robbing a store she owned in the following year. He stole $500 and her diamond watch, and tried to stage Montgomery's death as a suicide despite the fact that he shot her in the face, head, and shoulder.
30. David Hocker (1998-2004, lethal injection): Hocker was living in a motel and didn't have a car at hand. Thus, he asked his boss, 47 year old Jerry Robinson, to drive him around for an errand. When they were in the car together, Hocker stabbed Robinson to death, stole his credit card, and withdrew $400 from it to buy cocaine. Hocker had an extensive criminal history, but the specifics weren't given in my sources.
31. Mario Centobie (1995-2005, lethal injection): Centobie and another prisoner escaped from a Georgia prison during his 40 year sentence for the double kidnappings of his ex wife and son. They fled to Alabama, and were pulled over by local policemen. Centobie opened fire on them and killed Keith Turner, a 29 year old officer, and wounded another. The pair were recaptured in Georgia near the home of Centobie's ex wife. While awaiting trial, Centobie yet again escaped by seducing a guard, but was quickly recaptured.
32. Jerry Henderson (1984-2005, lethal injection): On his sister-in-law's payroll, Henderson lured her husband, 33 year Jerry Haney, outside of his house and shot him dead.
33. George Sibley Jr. (1992-2005, lethal injection): Sibley was the common law husband of the above mentioned Lynda Block, and assisted her in the killing of officer Roger Motley. He also took part in the assault of her ex husband.
34. John Peoples Jr. (1983-2005, lethal injection): Enraged that 34 year old Paul Franklin refused to sell him his car that he coveted, Peoples broke into his home, and beat him to death with a rifle. Peoples stole the car and abducted Paul's wife, 34 year old Judy, and their 10 year old son John. They were also beaten to death with Peoples' rifle.
35. Larry Hutcherson (1992-2006, lethal injection): Hutcherson broke into the home of 89 year old Irma Gray, and slit her throat. He stole her air conditioner and microwave in the robbery.
36. Aaron Jones (1978-2006, lethal injection): After being fired by them, Jones and his partner invaded the home of their former employers, 61 year old Carl and 45 year old Williene Nelson. They shot Carl and Willene dead and chopped their bodies into several pieces. The pair also shot their 3 children, 21 year old Tony, 13 year old Brenda, and 10 year old Charlie, and Carl's mother, 85 year old Annie, but they all managed to survive their injuries.
37. Darrell Grayson (1980-2007, lethal injection): Grayson was the accomplice of the previously mentioned Victor Kennedy, and partook in the rape and murder of Annie Orr and the burglary of her home.
38. Luther Williams (1988-2007, lethal injection): While John Kirk, a 63 year old WW2 veteran, was driving home from work, his truck broke down. He was found and abducted by Williams and 2 other men, and shot to death by them. The trio then stole money from Kirk's body and his truck.
39. James Callahan (1982-2009, lethal injection): Callahan kidnapped 26 year old Becky Howell, while she was walking from a club her fiance was performing to switch laundry that she left at a laundromat. Howell was raped and strangled to death.
40. Danny Bradley (1983-2009, lethal injection): When his wife was hospitalized, Bradley was left to care for his stepdaughter, 12 year old Rhonda Hardin, and his stepson. After he put his stepson to bed, Bradley sodomized Hardin and choked her to death with his bare hands.
41. Jimmy Dill (~1983-2009, lethal injection) Dill shot his dealer, 33 year old Leon Shaw, in the head during a deal gone bad, and stole $200 and a few bags of cocaine. Shaw was left comatose and died of his injuries 9 months later. Dill had an extensive criminal record for theft and drug possession.
42. Willie McNair (1990-2009, lethal injection): McNair and an accomplice went to the home of his occasional employer, 68 year old Ella Riley, to ask for some money. When Riley declined to give them any, McNair tricked her into letting him inside by asking for a drink of water. After walking in, he stabbed Riley in the neck and strangled her to death. The pair then fled with her purse.
43. Jack Trawick (~1972-2009, lethal injection): Trawick was convicted or credibly confessed to a minimum of 3 murders. His verified victims consist of 27 year old Aileen Pruitt, 21 year old Stephanie Gach, and 17 year old Betty Richards. In his known murders, he forcibly abducted his victims from public locations, and raped and tortured them. They were then stabbed and beaten to death with a hammer. Trawick bragged in graphic details about committing other murders on a website made for death row inmates, which he also used to taunt the victims' families. However, investigations into the alleged additional killings brought no results, and are now believed to have been fictionalized by Trawick for clout.
44. Max Payne (1992-2009, lethal injection): Payne robbed a store at gunpoint, and kidnapped the owner, 58 year old Braxton Brown. He took Brown to his sister's house and tried forcing him into giving them money. When his sister objected, Payne dragged Brown to a bridge, shot him in the head, and dumped his body in the nearby creek. A total of $1,085 in cash and many of Brown's belongings were stolen, which included bank deposit checks, rings, cigarettes, food stamps, and a handgun.
45. Thomas Whisenhant (~1963-2010, lethal injection): At the age of 16, Whisenhant fatally shot 72 year old Lexie Haynes in one incident and robbed an unidentified blind woman in another. For uknown reasons, the charges were dropped against him, and he was able to join the air force. A few years later, he assaulted Rose Covington, a 22 year old WAF servicewoman, with an ashtray, and was discharged and sentenced to 20 years of hard labor for the attack. Whisenhant was granted parole in 1972. Another couple years later, he went on a crime spree, and abducted 3 women that worked in convenience stores he robbed. His victims, 44 year old Venora Hyatt, 28 year old Patricia Hitt, and 23 year old Cheryl Payton, were all raped and shot in the head.
46. John Parker (1988-2010, lethal injection): Parker and his accomplice Kenneth Smith was hired to kill 42 year old Elizabeth Sennett, by her husband, who wanted to use her life insurance policy to fund his ministering. Her husband was also Parker's landlord. The pair tricked Sennett into letting them inside the house by pretending to be hunters inquiring about for a hunting spot, and stabbed her to death. Sennett's husband then gave Parker and Smith their stereo and video cassette recorders to make it look like a robbery.
47. Michael Land (~1990-2010, lethal injection): Land kidnapped 30 year old Candace Brown from her apartment after he cut her telephone line. He raped Brown, shot her in the head, and stole her purse. Land had prior convictions of burglaries and receiving stolen goods, and previously met Brown in prison when she ministered to him.
48. Holly Wood (~1981-2010, lethal injection): In 1994, Wood shot his ex girlfriend, 34 year old Ruby Gosha, at point blank range in front of her children at her mother's home. He had also (non-fatally) shot another ex girlfriend from outside her bedroom window several years before Gosha's murder. His criminal history was extensive, and had 18 different felonies on his record. Some of the charges pertained to incidents of assault.
49. Phillip Hallford (~1978-2010, lethal injection): Hallford was jealousy enraged that his 15 year old daughter, whom he had been sexually abusing since she was 7, was dating 16 year old Charles Shannon. He forced her to lure Shannon to a bridge, gunned him down, and stole his wallet. With the coerced help of his stepson, Hallford dumped Shannon's body into a river. As a memento, Hallford forced his daughter to wear a necklace with the shell casing used in the murder.
50. Leroy White (1988-2011, lethal injection): White shot his estranged wife, 35 year old Ruby, dead while she was visiting her sister out of anger at their upcoming divorce. Ruby's sister was wounded in the shooting. White had also previously shot and injured Ruby's leg during an argument.
51. William Boyd (1986-2011, lethal injection): Boyd and a partner broke into the home of married couple, 76 year old Fred and 41 year old Evelyn Blackmon, and duped them into thinking that Evelyn's daughter (whom Boyd previously dated against her mother's wishes) was kidnapped. They made the couple believe that they had to pay a $3,000 ransom for her safe return. The couple were then both tied up, forcibly separated into their captors' cars, and beaten and shot to death.
52. Jason Williams (1992-2011, lethal injection): Under the influence of cocaine, Williams shot his roommate, 46 year old Gerald Paravicini dead in the trailer they shared. William then walked over to his neighbors, the Barber family (consisting of parents, 50 year old Freddie and 45 year old Linda, and their sons, 22 year old Bryan and 16 year old Brad) and intruded into their home. He shot and killed Freddie, Linda, and Bryan, and wounded Brad. Cash and credit cards were taken and Williams fled in the family van.
53. Eddie Powell III (~1990s-2011, lethal injection): Powell broke into the home of 70 year old Mattie Wesson, and repeatedly sexually assaulted her. Wesson was beaten and shot in the attack, but she managed to drag herself to a neighbor's house for help before she succumbed to her injuries. Powell had several previous convictions for burglary, theft, and assault.
54. Derrick Mason (1994-2011, lethal injection): Mason held up a convenience store, and forced the clerk, 25 year old Angela Cagle to turn off the cameras and undress. However, he shot Cagle in the head before any assault could occur. He then tried to open the register, but ran off when he failed to open it.
55. Christopher Johnson (2005-2011, lethal injection): To avoid paying child support and to spite his estranged wife, Johnson smothered his 6 month old son Eilas with his fingers, and struck him in the head.
56. Andrew Lackey (2005-2013, lethal injection): After being told about the existence of a vault inside the home of Charles Newman, a 80 year old WW2 veteran, by Newman's grandson, Lackey decided to steal it from him. He invaded Newman's house, and shot and stabbed him 70 times in the ensuring confrontation. Despite Lackey waiving his appeals and actively petitioning for his own execution, his death sentence attracted controversy due to him being diagnosed with Asperger's.
57. Christopher Brooks (1992-2016, lethal injection): Brooks snuck into the apartment of 23 year old Jo Campbell. He sexually assaulted Campbell in her bedroom, and bludgeoned her to death with a barbell. Several items, including a credit card, were stolen from the scene.
58. Ronald Smith Jr. (1994-2016, lethal injection): Smith and some accomplices robbed a convenience store, and fatally shot the clerk, 26 year old Casey Wilson. According to Smith's attorneys, Smith and Wilson were allegedly involved in a love triangle with a local stripper. If such accounts are to be believed, he shot him dead in a dispute over her, and Smith staged it as a robbery to avoid embarrassing his parents. However, the stripper strongly denied having any connections with both men. His execution sparked controversy, as witnesses reported him coughing and heaving for 13 minutes during it.
59. Thomas Arthur (1982-2017, lethal injection): Arthur's married girlfriend hired him to kill her husband, 35 year old Troy Wicker, for his insurance policy. He gunned down Wicker while he was sleeping in his bedroom. To mislead investigators, Wicker's wife claimed that an intruder broke into her home, shot her husband dead, and raped her.
60. Robert Melson (1994-2017, lethal injection): Melson and his partner held up a Popeyes store at gunpoint. They rounded up the employees, 23 year old Darrell Collier, 18 year old Tamika Collins, 17 year old Nathaniel Baker, and 17 year Bryant Archer, into a freezer, and shot them. Archer was the sole survivor, and identified Melson's accomplice, a former employee, to the police. Although Melson's accomplice was initially given a life sentence due to him being a minor at the time, he was later also sentenced to death for killing a cellmate, and is currently awaiting execution.
61. Torrey McNabb (1997-2017, lethal injection): McNabb skipped bail when he was facing charges for receiving stolen property and drug possession. He was tracked down by a bondsman sent to bring him back to court, but he shot at him when he appeared at his doorsteps. The bondsman then called the police for support. One of the responding officers, 30 year old Anderson Gordon, was killed in the standoff with McNabb.
62. Michael Eggers (2000-2018, lethal injection): Eggers and his ex employer, 67 year old Bennie Murray, were in talks about him returning to his former job at her carnival. While Murray was driving Eggers and his 15 year old son, they got into an argument. During the fight, Murray slapped Eggers, which enraged him. He beat and choked her with his hands until she went unconscious, and tossed Murray out of her car. Eggers continued to beat and kick Murray, and crushed her throat with a tree branch. After she was killed, Eggers stole money from Murray's purse, and drove away in her car.
63. Walter Moody (~1972-2018, lethal injection): In 1972, Moody was building a bomb to kill an auto dealer that repossessed his car. However, the bomb exploded prematurely, and critically injured Moody's then wife instead. Although Moody was cleared of charges relating to the construction of the bomb, he was still convicted of it being in his possession. His appeals were thrown away, which gave him a resentment against the justice system. After Moody was released from prison, he murdered a federal judge, 58 year old Robert Vance, and a civil rights attorney, 42 year old Robbie Robinson, and injured Vance's wife, in two separate bombings. To disguise his attacks, Moody sent bombs and hate letters to various NAACP targets.
64. Domineque Ray (1992-2019, lethal injection): Ray shot and killed two brothers, 18 year old Ernest and 13 year old Reinhard Mabins, for refusing to join his gang. In the following year, Ray and his gang members kidnapped 15 year old Tiffany Harville from her home and raped her. Her throat was slit and she was dumped in a remote cotton field.
65. Michael Samra (1997-2019, lethal injection): During an argument over a pick up truck, Samra and his teenage friend shot and killed his friend's father, 39 year old Randy Duke, and step mother, 29 year old Dedra Hunt. The pair also slit the throats of Dedra's two children, 7 year old Chelsea and 6 year old Chelisa.
66. Christopher Price (~1990-2019, lethal injection): Price invaded the home of Bill Lynn, a 57 year old pastor, while he was busy wrapping Christmas presents for his grandchildren. He stabbed Bill 30 times with a sword and injured his wife Bessie when they confronted him. Despite being only 19 at the time, Price had an extensive criminal history that involved trespassing, auto theft, and "criminal mischief."
67. Nathaniel Woods (~2004-2020, lethal injection): A squad of 4 police officers, 58 year old Carlos Owen, 40 year old Harley Chisholm III, 37 year old Michael Collins, and 33 year old Charles Bennett, were searching a drug house that Woods, a long time dealer, had been operating in. As they were arresting Woods, one of his associates opened fire on them and killed Chisholm, Bennett, and Owen. Collins was wounded, but managed to flee to safety. Wood's execution was extremely controversial, as he wasn't the triggerman in the shootings. His supporters and the shooter himself claimed that he was an entirely innocent party, while the prosecutors pushed that he deliberately lured the officers to their deaths.
68. Willie Smith III (1991-2021, lethal injection): Smith kidnapped 22 year old Sharma Johnson at gunpoint near a bank, and forced her to withdraw $80 from an ATM machine. He locked Johnson in the trunk of her own car, and shot her dead while she was trapped in it. The car was then burned to destroy the evidence.
69. Matthew Reeves (1996-2022, lethal injection): Reeves and two other men pretended to be hitchhikers on a remote highway as a ruse to lure motorists. The target they ensnared was 38 year old Willie Johnson Jr. They robbed Johnson of $360 when he stopped to pick them up, and Reeves shot him to death with a shotgun. Reeves then attended a party reportedly still covered with Johnson's blood, and celebrated by pretending to pump the gun and mockingly mimicked his death throes to the other guests.
70. Joe James Jr. (1993-2022, lethal injection): James tracked down his ex girlfriend, 26 year old Faith Hill, at her friend's apartment. She was in the company of her children, her friend, and her friend's children. The friend shielded the children from James with her body, while Hill tried desperately to calm him down. Despite her efforts, she was shot dead. His execution sparked controversy for it taking over 3 hours to complete, and caused the state of Alabama to delay executions until 2023. James was previously arrested and reported several times for harassing Hill's family, which included an incident of him burglarizing her grandmother's home.
71. James Barber (2001-2023, lethal injection): Barber assaulted 75 year old Dorothy Epps, who was both his ex girlfriend's mother and a former employer, with a claw hammer in her home. Despite her efforts at fighting him off, Epps was beaten to death, and Barber stole her purse.
72. Casey McWhorter (1993-2023, lethal injection): McWhorter conspired with a 15 year old friend and a 16 year old friend to kill 34 year old Edward Williams, the father of the 15 year old. The group tried to force Williams to had over a safe, but he tried to fight back. They shot him a total of 11 times with a .22 rifle equipped with a makeshift silencer in his home and took his truck, wallet, and an undisclosed amount of money. The stolen truck was destroyed in order to sell the parts for scrap metal.
73. Kenneth Smith (1988-2024, nitrogen hypoxia): Smith assisted John Parker in the contract killing of Elizabeth Sennett on the behalf of her husband. His case attracted controversy when he survived a botched execution in 2022, and received international attention for being the first inmate in history to be executed with the controversially experimental nitrogen hypoxia method.

Hello everyone. Long time lurker, first time contributor here. I've wanted to write something like this out for a while but never felt sure about it until now. I grew up in the evangelical bubble and have been in therapy for several years now, working my way through it and trying to work toward a new phase in my life that I think I'm finally comfortably settling into.
My family raised me in a very devout, Baptist church where we were at the center of everything. My dad was actually raised by his parents in the same exact church and so he passed it on to my siblings and I (lucky me). So this place and world was all I knew from birth. My dad was a deacon in the church and my mom was a Sunday school teacher. We were there every Sunday morning, every Sunday night, every Wednesday night, every Saturday afternoon/evening for choir practice, and attended every single event. My mom and dad were both on the women's and men's church baseball teams respectively and I and my sisters played on the church kids' teams. I participated in every holiday cantata, every skit, every children's choir event, every VBS, etc. We were heavily involved and it was my whole world. We had family friends who were so close to us that I referred to them as "Aunt" and "Uncle", and I had two best friends, one male and one female (I'm male), who were closer than any friends I had at school. I have a strange sort of disconnect with so much of it now because when I reflect back on it there are so many really genuinely happy memories that cause my heart to ache over the eventual loss. The rupture that eventually tore this whole world down around me ripped apart everything that made me feel like me and that's why I'm here now.
What I should say before going any further is that there was always a part of me that struggled to believe and was filled with constant doubt. I remember in fourth grade when the kids on the playground at school were teasing me because they knew I was a religious "goodie two shoes" and were goading me into saying a swear word. As the pressure mounted I finally let it out and yelled out the F word, the first time I'd ever sworn, and they all stared at me in shock and then started laughing and slapped me on the back like "yeah, this kid's alright after all." I remember waiting for the punishment to fall out of the sky but then...nothing. It was totally fine and no one cared. So I started letting it fly all the time at school while hiding it from the rest of my family. I mention this because that's when I started really compartmentalizing my life and I got pretty good at it until eventually I wasn't. I'd go to church on Sundays and hear the pastor say that if we weren't going out into the world on Monday and evangelizing to our friends then we weren't being good stewards of the faith because those people were lost souls in need of our guidance. Then I'd go to school on Monday again, see my friends there, and think "...but they're fine." I would then spend the next week feeling guilty and ashamed of myself only to have it reaffirmed the following Sunday once again that I was being a bad Christian. I was plagued with thoughts of dying and meeting God only to be told I was never a true believer and then being sent to hell for all of eternity. I got "saved" more times than I care to count. And then I'd go to school on Monday again and think "but my friends are fine" and so lather, rinse, repeat.
The real change started happening, however, when I was in sixth grade. The year prior my grandmother had died a few days before my birthday and that was the beginning of something I didn't quite understand. See, on Sundays after church my mom and dad would take my sisters and I to our grandparents for the afternoon since they lived down the road from the church and we'd hang there all afternoon with my aunts, uncles, and cousins until the evening service started. That was our routine every single Sunday, week in, week out. When my grandma died, it started to unravel. I never knew how much of a matriarch she was and after she passed the family dynamic immediately shifted and my aunts and uncles stopped showing up. My grandpa grew very quiet and depressed and eventually developed Parkinson's. Sundays suddenly started feeling a little strange and so - it quickly became apparent - did my parents. My mom began spending a lot of time with my sixth grade Sunday school teacher, who was a male, and she referred to him often as her best friend. My sisters and I used to say that everything that happened later took us by complete surprise, but I think that's how we chose to cope because looking back...it seems obvious. There were several moments over the course of that year that made my sisters and I uncomfortable each in our own way, but one stands out in my mind for me specifically.
We were at my dad's church baseball game on a night in July and my dad was standing at the pitcher's mound. The church had two separate men's teams and my dad was on one while my Sunday school teacher was on the other. My dad was having a rough night and had just walked the previous batter after a series of fouls when said Sunday school teacher approached the plate. He jokingly yelled out for my dad to "go easy on me" while some of the guys laughed in response. What I remember about this is how still my dad was. He was always very athletic and sure of himself, but his body language told a different story on this night. I remember that the catcher was signaling the pitch to my dad, but my dad was just standing there, unresponsive. Sunday school teacher took his batting stance and then my dad wound up for the pitch and let it fly, hitting his intended target and shattering the man's cheek bone instantly. I can still hear the man's screams of agony as he fell to the ground, but what I remember more is that amidst the men running to his side was my mother. She was right there with him and my dad...just stood there at the plate and watched. I was standing behind the fence and everything inside of me was screaming "something is wrong." My mom went to the hospital to go be with the man and when I asked my dad that night if it was an accident he let out a deflated "mhm." I would later find out that Sunday School Teacher had a metal plate put in his face and to this day that thought fills me with a weirdly spiteful sense of joy; a constant reminder he'll carry with him for the rest of his life. Sometimes I find myself hoping that something will remind him of the metal plate and that he thinks of us.
I remember that my mom started behaving very strangely whenever she was around this guy. We went on a family camping trip that summer with another family and Sunday School Teacher also went with all of us. I watched my mom interacting with him, thinking that she was acting like a teenage girl and how odd that was. My dad...just silently watched. My sister told my dad at one point "I don't like the way that man touches mommy" and my dad...said nothing. I started seventh grade and the feeling never went away.
For my part, I was somewhat distracted. You see, that female friend I mentioned above had become my best friend and I was secretly head over heels for her. I found out through a mutual friend that she felt the same way about me and I was on cloud nine. My sisters and other kids in the youth group picked up on the tension between us and would pick on us, calling us boyfriend and girlfriend while we denied it. The truth was, however, that even at a young age I just knew this girl was my first love. We connected in a profound way and there was a quiet understanding between the two of us that we were on the same wavelength on a number of issues. My male friend was like a brother to me and we'd have sleepovers and hang together on Wednesday nights when the other boys were running around playing sports. Neither of us were athletes so he'd run around wreaking havoc much to the chagrin of the adults in the room, and I'd gleefully follow. The three of us together were thick as thieves and it apparently caused the adults a lot of grief because they tried, on more than one occasion, to split us up to no avail. It was that whole quote at the end of Stand By Me about never again having friends like you did at twelve years old. Jesus, does anyone?
It all came tumbling down the first week of January in 1999. We'd just gotten back from our family Christmas vacation and had settled in on a Saturday night to watch a movie we'd rented from Blockbuster, My Giant. We didn't end up watching the movie until the following day because of what my parents had to tell us that night and I remember sitting there on the couch while it played as if through some fogged up window from very far away. To this day I irrationally hate the movie though I remember little to nothing about it. We were sitting on the couch in our basement when my mom said that they needed to tell us something. Things were going to be changing, she said. We went wide eyed, worried she was going to say someone had died again. Instead, she told us "your father and I are getting a divorce." This is a moment that has replayed over and over and over again in my head ever since and I wish so badly that I could make it go away. I've told other people that I vividly remember hearing or feeling glass breaking inside of my brain and thinking for about two seconds that this was some cruel, weird joke before reality set in and my sisters began sobbing. I followed suit and begged my father "why?!?" to which he responded angrily, "I don't want it, your mother does!"
Pro tip: never start off a divorce by telling your children this.
They informed us that not only would this be happening, but that we were also leaving the church. I immediately begged them no, please don't do this to me, as my thoughts drifted to my two best friends who meant the absolute world to me. And that's when they told me the thing that broke my brain and forever altered the rest of my life:
We couldn't stay at the church, you see, because we were no longer welcome. It turns out that my father, having been utterly crushed by the news my mother had apparently given him two months prior (we have this old video of my dad standing on the stage behind the pastor during that two month period as the pastor is talking about certain members of the church "suffering quietly" right now and my dad looks absolutely defeated), had reached out to my grandpa for support. My grandpa, being devastated for my dad, decided to reach out to one of his very best friends for some moral support of his own. The man he contacted, unfortunately, was one of the Church Elders. This man then took it upon himself to call the pastor, the other Elders, the Deacons, and members of the church to inform them of what was transpiring between my parents. Discussions were had and the decision was simple: my parents (and subsequently my entire family) were to be excommunicated by the church for living in sin. Unless my parents agreed to stand before the congregation to be judged, counted, and to then agree to work on fixing the marriage to stay together, we would not be welcome. A group of men attempted to confront the Sunday School Teacher about his relationship with my mother, as it was painfully obvious to anyone with eyes that something was going on there. Sunday School Teacher, the coward that he was/is I guess, tucked his tail between his legs and insisted they had it all wrong and that he was the innocent in all of this. My mom, they had to know, seduced him and he was just a little choir boy. The men, having given it the proper, rational amount of consideration, decided he must be telling the truth and walked away, referring to my mother as a jezebel. My parents then decided it was time for us to go. So in the end, Sunday School Teacher got to stay, and we were forced out. We were allowed one last Sunday service to see our friends, but we couldn't tell anyone that we were leaving. We sat down in the pew in our normal spot and the family that usually sat with us got up and moved away. These were some of the family friends I referred to as "aunt" and "uncle". I remember playing a game with my friends after the service wherein we were vampires and the daylight would turn us to stone. When it was time for me to leave, we were standing outside and they'd just "frozen" in place due to the sunlight and I kept repeating "goodbye" until my mom told me we needed to go. I climbed into the car and watched out the back window as they got further and further away until, I remember thinking, they looked like stick figures waving in the wind.
I had my first panic attack that afternoon when we got home, though at the time I had no idea what the hell it was. My family had all gone inside and I refused to join because I was devastated and just wanted to be alone. So I sat there in the car, banging on the back of the driver's seat and sobbing until my hands started to feel "fuzzy" and numb. My fingers had curled up into my fists until I couldn't move them and I suddenly was finding it very hard to breathe. That only made me panic more because I didn't understand what was happening to me and my whole body was shaking. I sat there out in the driveway with not a soul in sight, fearing that I was about to die. When it finally ended I sat there in a sort of stunned silence, terrified that something was physically wrong with me, and so I got out of the car, went inside the house, walked past my family members, and went to my room where I closed the door behind me. Sort of how I lived my life for a while after that actually.
I was eventually allowed to call one friend, I was told, to inform them that I wouldn't be returning. So I chose the girl and very cautiously explained to her that I wouldn't be seeing her again. She was confused, naturally, and repeated to me over and over again how sorry she was. Around Valentines Day, I went upstairs to my mom's room where she kept tons of various holiday cards and found a series of Valentines cards. I picked one that had a dog on the front and wrote a secret admirer letter to the girl, telling her how beautiful and kind she was. I put it in an envelope and sent it in the mail with no return address, forever wondering if it ever made it to its destination. I lost all contact with my male friend and never again replaced him. No one I ever met after that measured up.
I became quiet, barely spoke anymore, stopped taking care of myself, started failing classes where previously I'd been a straight A student, was bullied mercilessly, and eventually became suicidal. It just always felt like there was darkness lurking around every corner where once it felt like all I'd known was light. God was nowhere to be found. He wasn't saving me from this, from any of it. I was on my own. My mom's best friend from our old church, a woman I also referred to as "aunt" and who also lived down the street from us with her family, whose children I walked to school with every single day, came strolling down to our home one afternoon with a letter in her hand. My mom walked out the front door to greet her and she was handed the letter instead. The woman said a few words I couldn't hear and then turned around and left.
What I remember most about that moment is how long it seemed like my mom stood there with her back to us while we watched out the window. I remember how long it seemed like the woman was walking down the street, never to return. My mom looked down at the letter and read for a while. When she was finished, she stood a while longer and then came inside. We asked if she was okay and she didn't respond. She had tears in her eyes and, without saying a word, walked upstairs to her bedroom where it felt like the mother I knew never came back down from. She spiraled into a depression that left her lying in bed most days to the point that it became routine for my grandma (my mother's mom) to call in the morning to make sure my sisters and I were getting ready for school and to then have us hand the phone off to my mom in bed. I would later find out that my grandma would painstakingly walk my mom through getting out of bed, getting some clothes, taking a shower, eating some food, and so on and so forth. Former church "friends" began repeatedly calling our house and leaving hateful messages on our answering machine, telling my mother she was a sinner and needed to repent. They sent us letters that my dad would try to get to before we could and he'd rip them up and throw them away, telling us we needed to "just ignore it." My grandpa got too sick to take care of himself so he came to live with us for the last few months of his life. He slept in my bed while I was moved to the basement where I spent many, many long, lonely nights crying myself to sleep and trying not to let the panic attacks become unbearable. My grandfather passed that summer and very few from our old church said a single word to any of us at the funeral. My dad eventually moved out and on the day he said goodbye to us at the door I begged him to stay and he cried, telling me he had to go. I chased him down the street on my bike, but he was gone.
Eventually we moved to a new church with my dad (my mom stopped going for a while until she found one of her own where she could get a new start) and I settled in as well as I could. I found out through the grapevine that our old pastor had been arrested for running a bogus investment scheme involving a fake electronics company and was sent to prison for defrauding congregants out of thousands of dollars. One of the Deacons involved had fled from the FBI and was eventually found where he was tried for skimming $1.7 million in investments. At my new church, within the first year, our new pastor (who just so happened to be the former youth pastor from our old church) stood up before the congregation one Sunday morning and said that he'd done something bad and that the Elders were going to allow the church to put it to a vote as to whether he could stay or needed to leave. They didn't tell us, of course, what he'd done, but we were going to vote on it nevertheless. It would later be revealed that he a.) cheated on his wife with an underage teen and b.) was also secretly molesting his own daughter. And the Elders had us put it to a vote.
Over the years I'd also find out that certain men in the church were sexually assaulting women and children and getting away with it because "God forgives, people can change, etc." and these were men who'd been in my home. One of them was also a deacon and had been exposing himself to underage girls. When it was brought to the pastor's attention by parents of the girls, the pastor told them that he would take care of it and then he'd sweep it under the rug, giving them all the same old song and dance about forgiveness. Another man, someone I'd grown up with, was physically abusing his wife and kids. She would show up to church wearing sunglasses to cover up a black eye and everyone knew what was really going on, but nothing was ever done about it. She eventually divorced him, won her kids in the custody battle, and left...but he stayed there, in the church.
My parents both eventually remarried, which was its own deeply traumatic experience as they'd both started dating other people within a year of their separation. My sisters and I, being young preteens and teens, responded poorly and my father apparently spent his time telling members of the church how mean we were to his girlfriend and they judged us accordingly. I just sort of...coasted through all of it until I could get out. I was constantly at war with myself and was an absolute mess. I hid my suicidal tendencies from the rest of my family and hid my pain as well as I could.
At the end of my junior year of high school I attended a Christian summer camp with the youth group and one night during the altar call they were pushing heavily for us to commit our college years to a Christian university. The lights were dimmed, that old familiar emotionally manipulative music had been playing, the speaker got all emotional, the room was full of somewhere around a thousand crying teens, and I felt compelled to go forward and do it. So I made the stupid mistake of going to the front and making the commitment. At the end of my senior year I realized all too late what a mistake I'd made. All of my friends were excitedly discussing their futures and what state they were moving away to, and I...had nowhere to go. I had been accepted a to a small Christian college here in Michigan (Tyndale, which, ironically enough, closed down like a year later), but no longer wanted to go so I settled on a local community college where I'd commute to from home.
Feeling very low, I decided to go to my youth pastor at the time to ask if I could borrow his mini DV tapes he had of our youth group at a variety of events over the years. I had some of my own as well (I desperately wanted to go to film school) and wanted to edit a video together for my senior class. So he said yes and I went home and watched every tape. Every single one. You can probably guess where this is going. I stumbled on one tape that had been filmed by his brother, a guy who assisted in the youth group and played the guitar, in which he was zooming in on girls in the youth group...inappropriately, and was filming from all sorts of angles he shouldn't have been if you catch my drift. I sat there at my computer in this old, familiar, stunned silence. I started shaking like crazy and shut the camera off, having no idea what to do. I was eighteen. I was a kid. A week or so later I returned the tapes to the youth pastor's office where his brother saw me and asked what I was doing with those tapes. Youth pastor informed him what I was doing and the look on the guy's face said everything. Youth pastor asked if I got everything I needed and all I said was "Yeah...you have some interesting footage," and then I left. The following Wednesday I played the video for the youth group, and after the service the youth pastor approached me. His brother was standing behind him sort of looking off in the distance like he didn't know exactly what this was about, and the youth pastor asked me if there was anything more I felt like I needed to say because, you know, this is the end and next fall you're not coming back. Just making sure all you seniors are good, you know? Just making sure everyone here is happy. I was looking at him but just off in the distance I could see friends, my younger sister, other leaders...and they did look...happy. I felt sick to my stomach and said "no, all good." He slapped me on the shoulder and said "Great. Thank you." And that was it. I was out. My dad remarried that summer and, promptly, walked out of our lives. My sister was still in high school, but weekends with dad just stopped being a thing and that was that.
That fall I found out that there was no college leader at the church so the seniors from my class were just going back to the high school youth group each week to hang out together and I knew my presence would be potentially problematic, "this is the end and next fall you're not coming back" and all that, so instead I just sort of...went away. I disappeared for a long time. I'd hear about my old friends getting together for parties and bonfires and going on trips together and I...disappeared. The phone never rang. Everything got real quiet. I quit my job, and then started working at a Christian bookstore thinking "well I'll just replace those friends with the young people working here. I've done it before, I'll just do it again." My depression worsened and I went to some very dark places during that period of my life. The customers were awful. I met some of the worst people I've ever met in my life. The days were long and I skipped classes constantly, finding myself driving to nowhere and wishing I could just disappear. The youth pastor and his brother eventually moved to another church overseas and I was so...angry. And relieved. Had I known what it was called back then I would know that I was already deconstructing and I was doing it all alone.
Two long years went by and the girl from my childhood, my best friend, returned. She and her family were attending the church now and she got a job with me at the bookstore. We reignited the friendship and the flirting started not long after that. One night she and I went out to Starbucks where she told me that long ago when she was a kid she'd received this strange love letter from a secret admirer and she'd always wondered who it was from. I felt my tongue roll back and drop into my stomach and my heart stopped and everything felt very blurry. I then played stupid and said "oh really?" She offered to take me back to her place to show me. I said sure and then spent the drive there absolutely freaking out because I knew there was only one reason she wanted to show me this and that was because obviously she knew it was me. When she brought it out to me I had the most bizarre out of body experience and froze on the spot. Eventually I told her, "...You know what my handwriting looks like." She smiled at me and said yes, that she'd always known. I admitted how I felt about her and she said she felt the same way, that she'd always hoped.
We dated for almost five years before we got married. We have two kids together now, and we've been through hell and back. God I love her so much. The last few years she's been on a deconstruction journey of her own and it's only brought us closer. We're raising our kids without church (haven't stepped foot in one in about five years now) and their lives are already much different than my own. All those years, all that pain, all those people who walked away from me and my family. None of it is ever coming back and I just have to be okay with that now. I think that I am finally learning how to make a home in myself. Therapy has been so healing and I'm grateful every day that I get to choose to make this change, that I get to be the one to stand in the face of generational trauma and say "no more. This stops here with me."
This is a random tangent I guess, but I get frustrated about it every now and then. A while back my son asked out of the blue, “why do some people have two mommies?” My wife and I tell him “well some women just love women, buddy.” He says “oh” and then asks “but then they won’t have a daddy?” So we tell him “well no, but that’s not a bad thing, bud. Families all look different and all that really matters is that they love each other, right?” He thinks about it for like maybe half a second and then goes “Yeah. Okay.” Then he went back to drawing.
I’m frustrated because it’s just so simple. It’s so simple to love. When I was a kid, this unfortunately is not how I was raised. I lived in the evangelical bubble and was told from an early age that homosexuality was a sin and the people “practicing it” (like a job or preparing to play a baseball game or something) were living in sin. One of my uncles on my father’s side has a brother who is gay and if he ever happened to show up to an event with his husband, everyone would get all hush hush and my uncle would tell us that his brother was living in sin and that we needed to pray for him. Church members would come out or be outed and then they’d disappear. My father strictly taught me to believe that anyone in the LGBTQ community were living in hate because if they actively reject “God’s word” then they must also hate God and should be viewed as an infection. He believed in praying the gay away. He took me to a Promise Keepers rally as a little kid where I sat through countless speeches from men on the pulpit claiming to have “overcome” their desires while my father cheered. He has a step daughter now who is gay and the friction between them is palpable. I was raised to live in fear of the LGBTQ community, but the only fear I wound up living in was fear of myself because the truth was I never believed any of it.
I went to church, I memorized the verses and books of the bible, I sat through the sermons and choir practices, went to Wednesday night youth group with a bunch of male teachers who all taught me the same things, I prayed the words I knew my parents wanted to hear. But I didn’t believe any of it. Deep down I just knew I didn’t and that what I was being told was wrong. I privately believed to myself that if there was a God then that God would have to truly be merciful and just and loving and that there wasn’t some eternal hellfire waiting for anyone who refused to believe the same thing and live the same way. It just didn’t make sense to me.
When I got into junior high I met a kid that everyone would whisper about because there were “rumors” that he was gay and he was very quiet and, you could see it on his face, nervous and terribly lonely. When he did come out he began pushing back and took pride in himself and we became friends and I felt so ashamed inside that if he ever found out about my upbringing then he’d stop being my friend. That’s the fear I lived with when it came to just about everyone; that they would not only think I was weird but a symbol of hate. So I did live in fear, not of God but of literally everything else. It fucked with my head and impacted my relationships. It went on that way for years and years; just desperately trying to separate and compartmentalize parts of myself in the fear of being found out by my family and excommunicated, and in the fear of being labeled something I wasn’t by the rest of the world. I look back now on my teen years especially, during deep periods of depression, and regret so much of what didn’t have to be.
And so here I am, all these years later, sitting in the kitchen with my son as he asks about kids having two mommies and I tell him yes, and that’s okay. Everyone deserves love. And he just looks at me and says “okay” and goes back to coloring and I just get so furious inside over what my parents and their generation did to me and so many others like me. It’s this complexity my son will never have to grapple with as he grows up and that’s because the solution is so god damned simple. A life of handwringing, angst, fear, and hate or a space for everyone where there is love. I’m so fucking angry and I’m crying writing this and I’m sorry to make you all sit through all of this long novel of a post if you did.
There was this moment a couple summers ago when my son was sitting next to me on the beach. My wife was out in the water with our little girl and our family members were at a picnic table nearby. He had his beach towel over his head and he was just staring out at the water looking a little lost. I asked him if he was okay and he told me he was scared to go spend the night at my dad’s (a planned sleepover event with all of the cousins). I asked him if it was because of what “papa” says about hell (we’d had this problem before). My son nodded his head and told me he was afraid. He didn’t want God to send him to hell and didn’t know how to stop it. So I’m sitting there in my swimsuit and t-shirt in the warm sand, and an incredibly comforting silence I’ll never forget, next to my little boy with the towel over his head so scared of the future. I remembered what it was like to be in his position, looking for something no one would ever give me. I scooched closer to him and said out loud, for the first time in my life to any blood relative of mine, “Buddy…I don’t believe that.” He turned and looked at me to ask “you don’t?” and I shook my head no. I told him that I really tried when I was his age, but something about it just didn’t sit right with me. I asked him if he felt that way and he said yes. I asked him what it made him feel and he said it made him feel sick and he pointed to his stomach. I told him “me too, but if there is a God, and I don’t know for sure because I don’t think anyone really does, then if God is love a place like hell cannot exist.” I told him to look around at all the people in the park and how happy they were. “I don’t believe they deserve hell and so I don’t believe in hell.” I will never in my life forget the moment his face relaxed and he smiled up at me and said “I think I believe that too.”
God, what could be. It fucking breaks me.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Miserable-Piglet-847
My parents wants to give my sister the earrings my grandma left for me
Originally posted to entitledparents
TRIGGER WARNING: infidelity, emotional distress, manipulation, accusations of theft, attempted theft, golden child syndrome
Original Post Nov 26, 2023
This story is so weird when I (27f) was 20 y/o I was in relationship/fwb situation with a guy (now40M). It was messy, we were on and off for almost 5 years. He was always clear he wasn't ready for a relationship and I was always clear I was madly in love with him. Everytime I got tired of the situation and wanted to leave somehow he convinced me to stay, because love is free, we have so much time together, he wasnt ready to commitment.
I asked abvice to my sister (now42f) and she gave me some crappy advice like made him compromise, leave sfuff at his place and basically turn him into a boyfriend until it was to late to him to say no. I never managed to do that because I wanted him to love me as much as I loved him, not trap him. During the last night I spend at his place he said he wanted to try something more serious with me, talked about some dates he planned etc. Only to ghost me forever. It was hard. This was the first person I loved and he treated me like crap.
Six months passed and my sister came home, we both lived with our parents, saying she wanted to introduce her brand new boyfriend, she had have ton of boyfriends but she said this was the one, it was a dinner only with my parents at our home so I was excluded and expected to just go out or chill in my room. The day came and while they were dinning I ordered a pizza I came downstairs only to find the guy I was with six months prior dinning with my parents and sister. I was shocked but pay for my pizza and went to my room again to cry.
After dinner was over I confronted my sister in front of our parents and begged her to not be with him. To be loyal to me, her little sister. There was no way she didn't know who he was, I had showed her pictures of him, his socials media, where he worked and she even know where he lived, they never met because he didn't wanted to met my family and never introduced his. But she knew who he was and she excluded me from that dinner because she knew
She said they met by chance after we stopped seeing each other. She knew how hard that "rupture" was, she knew how painful it was to not have even a closure, he just stopped replying, not even blocking me just left me there wondering after 5 years. She knew that during those six months I was still hurting. I know how it was my fault, I was too naive and thought that if I stayed long enough he would be ready for the relationship I wanted and would learn to love me. Stupid, I know.
She defended herself saying it was a coincidence and chemistry was there, she loved him and she wasn't going to lost the love of her life, this stuff only happens once in lifetime. When I was in my early twenties I would believe that, however now I know that there are 8 billions people in this world, there's no ONE love of your life, you can find the love of your life multiple time if look for it.
My parents sided with her and said I should get over it since we never have a real relationship.
One and a half year had passed. I've been excluded from multiple family gatherings because he would be around and my family thinks I will bring negative vibes since I'm still bitter about everything.
I have no feelings for him but I feel betrayed by my sisters and my parents, he is just pos on my eyes now.
My sister is now six months pregnant, due her age she had been extremely pampered by my parents. She still lives at home and is going to move with him maybe two months after the baby is born. Then they're going to marry. In my culture is normal that if a woman gives birth moves back (or stay) with her mom so the mom will help with the baby for the first months.
A week ago my sister's friends made a surprise baby shower I happened to be at home I tried to talk to them, I don't know why, maybe because my sister and I were to close before and I'm sad we're not longer friends. But her friends acted like I wasn't there and only replied to me with 'hmm' 'yes' 'no' or silence as it I was the one that created this mess. Or I was a homewrecker. Or I tried to seduce my sister's man.
I was planning to move already, I was saving money etc. But after that I left immediately to a friend house. I'm in the process to find my own place.
2 days ago I recived a call from my parents asking me to have a talk. I went to their house and they informed me that the diamond earrings my grandma left me will be given to my sisters. Those earrings have been in my family for four generations and before my grandma died she said the earrings will be mine and my sister will recived a gold necklace. Grandma trusted my parents with the earrings, there was no will or anything she just asked to give it to me when I was mature enough to appreciate/take care of a family heirloom.
Now my parents thinks since my sister is getting married first and is having grandma's first great grandchild my sister should have it.
I'm really MAD now, they're robbing me of something my grandma LEFT TO ME.
I don't think my parents are evil evil, I think they were to worred my sister wouldn't marry due her age (again in my culture a single woman in her 40's is something to worry for her family) and now that she's forming a family they want to reward her with everything.
But I was the closest to my grandma, she made it clear the earrings will be mine not my sisters, not the first one to marry or have a child but mine.
After two years of being excluded in favor of my sisters I gave the ultimatum to my parents they give the earrings to me as my grandma intended or I will cut the from my life forever.
Not gonna lie the idea of cuttting my family off is too painful but I feel they already made me and still makes me so wrong I dont want them in my life anymore.
I feel a little shallow fighting over this but those are only things my grandad left to they are not e entitled to them.
RELEVANT COMMENTS/ADDITIONAL INFO
Southernpalegirl

You need to get a lawyer. Those earrings are your inheritance from your grandmother and if it’s documented in your grandmothers will, they can be sued and charged with stealing. I know you don’t want to do this but your family has already shown you that you don’t matter to them at all. Do you honestly believe that they are going to care if you go no contact with them? Don’t warn them that you are going to press charges for stealing, the will giving you the earrings will magically go missing.
I’m sorry, OP, you deserve better and I hope you stay strong enough to make boundaries that you will be able to stand by.

OOP

Grandma left no will she handed her jawlery, and most of then were family heirlooms, to everybody. My grandma was the 4 generation with then.
I was 12 when my grandma died, she gave the earrings to my mom so I could have them when I was ready to take care of them properly.
I always thought I would wear them on my wedding day or a very special they.
Since I lived with my parents not so long ago I never asked for them because mom has them in a safe in her room with other important stuff.
I don't know if they would care. I think they dont believe they're doing nothing wrong handing the earring to the sister that is having grandma first great grandchild.
But if grandma wanted that, she would have stated "the sister that has the first child must receive the earrings."
She said they were MINE. Honestly, the entitlement.

Southernpalegirl

Can you access the safe without your parents?

OOP

Yes I still have keys from the house.
I'm worried that I take them it would be legal consequences.
I have a text of my mom adminiting the earrings were meant to me.
I could use our extended family that knows my grandma last wishes but I don't it will be enough

Southernpalegirl

Keep the text, take the earrings. Then go no contact with no explanation, they are well aware of why you are going no contact. Your family is not good people and you are not required to keep them in your life.

Update March 28, 2024 (5 months later)
This is old but I keep receiving messages every once in a while asking for an update.
Yes, I got the earrings.
After my post I went to my parents house opened the safe, took the earrings and left. Then after that I went again, told my parents I need time to process stuff and be my own self and gave their house's keys, said I was leaving for good.
There was some tears from my mom saying she couldn't believe I was such a bitter person, she raised me better, I was turning my back to my family over NOTHING and finally that it was shameful that I would let the family house without being married or anything. So it was never about me or she loving me or anything but social pressure to keep an outdated tradition.
My dad was very neutral, gave me a hug and wished me luck.
For 2 months nothing happened and I barely have contact with my family, found a place to live tried to heal, have real fun decorating my new home, your mormal stuff. And then everything happened AT ONCE.
For those 2 months my sister and mom never reached to me, only my dad send a text once a week asking how I was and wishing I was doing well. And then my sister's boyfriend/future husband/also my ex started to follow me on instagram again. I found it weird but anyway after all he's my sister's boyfriend/father of my niece/future brother in law/my ex fwb. The he started to like my stories and the replying to them with hearth emojis and "looking good😍" this happened three times maybe? When I recived THE voicemail from my mom calling all sort of names for going after a man that I knew was engaged, this was some kind of revenge over my poor sister, that I was causing her so mush stress her blood pressure level was over moon. I was an inconsiderate femme fatale and she raised me better.
Later I learned through a cousin that my sister took her fience cellphone and found several conversations with several women including his attends to talk to me so of course she went to my mom crying about me trying to steal her fience. All messy tbh. Less than a week later another voicemail from mom asking me WHERE THE FUCK WHERE THE EARRINGS. She went looking after them and when she couldn't find them deduced it was me. She called me a thief. A disgrace. Dishonored me and said they didn't considered me family anymore. I was dead to them. And she will be taking legal actions against me for thief if it was possible. I had no option but to block her and my sister and other family members that sided with them.
My dad later texted me to let me now my mom went nuts and they wont take any legal action.
By the end of last month my cousin texted me saying my sister had given birth to my niece. I know I shouldn't but I did it. I went to the hospital with a gift while wearing my beautiful and fancy earrings. I was kicked out, of course but it was worth of it. I have no plans to see them ever again. Well, maybe my dad.
Also my cousin (big gossiper, that girl) let me know my sister is getting married in May so she will have her happy ever after, after all.
But I'm also living my best life rn.
TL;DR Yes, I got the earrings.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I am NOT the OOP. OOP is u/Artistic-Dad2878 (account has since been deleted).
trigger warnings: infidelity and suicide
EDITOR'S NOTE: fixed some sentences for grammar purposes.
Original post: September 7, 2023
I (53M) have a daughter (25F) who has been dating James (28M) for 2 years now. Before meeting him my daughter strictly told me not to mention his dad or any family members to him. He is not close with them. I didn't ask what happened because it was not my place to know. Genuinely, I liked him a lot. He is a good man, responsible, neat and truly loves my daughter. We bonded well.
I only met him a handful of times. This happened a few days ago. My daughter came to visit me along with James. I was fixing my car. James looked curious and asked what I was doing. I showed my car and said that I am fixing it. We go into talking and he told me he doesn't know how to fix his car. He just pays someone else to do it. I was shocked. I told him I can teach him. He doesn't need to waste his money on fixing basic things. I did teach him all the things. He was a fast learner.
After he was done, I patted on his back and said "Well done my son". The expression on his face changed. He was happy in one second and then his face changed. He broke down crying on the floor. I tried my best to calm him down but he was wailing. By the time my daughter came he was in a fetal position. I was confused. My daughter took him inside. He spent the night, my daughter just took his dinner in her room. She came downstairs and asked what happened? I gave her the details of it. She was angry.
She was almost screaming and asked why the hell did I say "Well done son". She specifically told me not to mention anything about his family. I didn't. I just said "well done my son" because that's what you usually say when you are proud of them. I didn't even utter the word father. It just slipped. I said sorry and asked if I could talk to him and apologize, she was pissed and told me to forget it. He is not in good shape. They left early morning. I don't know what I did wrong here. I have been asking my daughter about him and it was just one word answers. What do I do?
Relevant Comments:
Absoluteseens He needs therapy, you did nothing wrong .

OOP
According to my daughter he has been in therapy for 5 years. In and out.

redacted Your daughter is enabling his crippling mental illness. She’ll learn eventually.

OOP I don't think she is enabling. She cares for him a lot. She is going to nursing school like her mother to become a nurse so that's why she might be freaking out.

Update post: September 8, 2023 (posted 1 day later)
I wanted to post an update on my previous post but the mods removed my post for god knows why. But then again the update is very long. Yesterday, when I made this post, my daughter called and asked if I can come to her place. I said of course. When I went inside the first thing my daughter did was hug me and said she was sorry for yelling and berating me. She was wrong, she should have handled it like a mature adult. I told her it is fine. I understand why she panicked. She also said James wants to meet me as well. James was in their shared bedroom and asked for privacy. As soon as I went there, he started apologizing and said he didn't mean to make things awkward. He knows he shouldn't have cried like that in from of me. That he is a grown man and should have kept his emotions in check. He says he has never had a major breakdown like this in 3 years. Usually he is in control of his emotions.
I asked him to calm down and I am not mad at him. But then he started telling me his story. It just made me sick to my stomach. Here it is- Back when he was in his final year in college, his mother had died the year before, his dad and mom got married too young because his mother was pregnant, they were both in bad shape. But his dad was even worse than before. He would often visit his dad along with his girlfriend. One day he found his girlfriend was cheating on him with his dad. I won't go into much details, but you can imagine the mess. His father gave him lame excuses like he was lonely and what not. He cut off all the contacts he had with his dad and went on to live with his grandmother. His grandmother did rip his dad a new one and threatened to call the police on him. After that he went into depression, he skipped his classes and flunked. He went through intense therapy and has managed well on his own. He moved out from his grandmother's state and came closer to us. That poor boy was sobbing while he was telling me this story but in excruciating details, it almost made me cry.
Also, that's not the reason he cried. He cried because few days ago, he received a letter from his grandmother that his dad has committed suicide. He wrote a letter to James. James did read the letter but he felt nothing. He showed me the letter. It was basically that bastard apologizing and asking for a chance. I got a little gist about what happened after the affair was discovered. His father and that girl was pretty much ostracized by everyone. They lived in a small town so the word got around, the father's friend basically disowned him, every relative he had doesn't talk to him. He lost his respect and dignity. He begged his mother to give James's address, but grandmother refused. He couldn't find James because he changed his name. (he goes by his maternal grandmother's maiden name). Also, in the letter he mentioned he had liver failure because after he left he drank alcohol, he regrets what he has done and knows he can never take it back. He will always have to carry the guilt. He has thought about suicide a lot of times, but he knows if he dies he has to answer his deceased wife about why he did what he did.
Lastly, his dad mentioned he has no contact with that b1tch because she was the reason why he lost his son. He does acknowledge his own fault but mostly he blamed that girl because she seduced him. I can't believe even in his death he avoided accountability. James said he wasn't bothered by his death until that day, when I called him son. If it was some other time, he wouldn't have reacted the way he did. It was just the timing. He cried because he knew he lost his father forever, he didn't even go to his funeral because he knew if he did his progress would go down the drain. But he misses having a father, he knows what his dad did was wrong but they were both pretty close. His dad was his cheerleader. He still couldn't believe his dad would do this to him. He mentioned that if his dad was alive he probably would have contacted him in the near future like in 10 or 20 years. But he just both of this parents forever.
I apologized to him for triggering something like that. I also told him he is a wonderful man and any man would be proud to have a son like him. It's such a shame his dad threw it all away because he can't control his dick. (Sorry, I know this is a dead person but I have no respect for him). What he did was his and only his fault. And I am proud of him, he has managed very well for himself. He reassured me that even though he has trauma he never hurt my daughter and really loves her. He said that he has been thinking about asking her hand from me. Now, I would have said yes but I put some conditions, that he needs to get a psyche evaluation and go to therapy, I know he is a good person but now he is not in a good headspace, he should take my daughter to couple's counselling with him. He accepted them without hesitation.
As for my daughter, I did ask her why she kept this huge thing away from me, she said she didn't want me to judge him. That she knows what he went through and it really hurts her to see him being triggered. She did mention, she heard him cry in the bathroom when they first moved in. She loved him and understands that he has PTSD but according to he is the best guy she has ever dated. I told her I do not care who she dates, be it a truck driver or a billionaire or someone who is an orphan as long as the guy is good and treats her well she has my approval. Sorry, that was long, but it is tough to summarize everything in such short words.
Reminder: I am not the OOP.

I(15F) have been dealing with a lot of family drama the past 8 months or so. A lot has happened that hit the point that forced me my mom and grandmother to take the causers of this drama to court. Let me give you the run down. So my grandmothers ex siblings are all bitches, always have been. They all have been doing shady stuff for years, LITERAL YEARS. It all started when my great grandmother was diagnosed paraplegic, as soon as the bastards found out they stealing stuff from her house and acting all buddy with her as she was getting closer to death. The stuff these people, if you can call them that, have done is so done right atrocious not even Hell wants them at this damn point.
So lets give them all a shout out, YAY. starting with "Mark" the oldest I think. So Mark as soon as he found out he was caretaker of my great grandmothers stuff he kicked out my mom, me and my brother. So we were homeless, all we had was car. that is until my toddler self ratted us out for sleeping in a car, so my mom almost lost her kids. The cop who approached my mom about it wrote us a letter to go to a women and children shelter. BUT my brother couldn't stay with us because of his allergy to the carpet. The second worst thing he did was let his step son touch my aunt. Not to mention theft. NEXT! we have Fudrickol, he ran over my moms foot never said sorry and hid the documents. He steals, cheats on his wives, neglects his actual children, tax fraud, is a compulsive liar and more. LAST, but not least GAYSHA. THE BITCH. THE WHORE. THE SLUT. I wish she went gay after her first child because no sane women would want her. She lied on my REAL families names, always lies. Not to mention she always defends her criminal son(Jai'Mya Rippy), turned my aunt on my grandma. She EVEN said I seduced her son years ago and he is 7 years older than me!!! It's not my fault he is into using children, no toddlers! I was like 4-9! wtf! She even brought him to where I was staying to harass me.
But now lets get to the present. So they put my great grandmother in pink. HER FAVORITE COLOR IS GREEN! WTF! they created a fake will. stealing the houses my mother(was adopted by my great grandmother) and grandma was meant to get. They already took everything my grandma had. they were even holding the house over my mothers head making her look after my great grandmother unable to keep her jobs to support herself and 2 kids. So we came to the conclusion that we are taking them to court and ruining their lives for this. Just like they did to us. I even failed a school year because when I realized what Jai'Mya did to me and I was so depressed and too scared to tell anyone. I lost the will to do anything. I was scared for months after I knew he had found out because he is a criminal he killed a man! he keeps guns on on him! What do I do?

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Cold-Cake-8698
My spouse came out to me as asexual a few months ago. Tomorrow I am handing them divorce papers. They are going to be devastated.
Originally posted to offmychest & cats
TRIGGER WARNING: Animal abuse, property damage, domestic abuse
Original Post March 4, 2024
Basically the title.
My spouse and I have been together for 8 years. Our sex life has had lots of ups and downs. Sometimes it felt like it was fire and was really good, but there were long stretches where I felt like I was starving. While they never denied me when I initiated, lack of initiation on their part has destroyed my self esteem and has left me so incredibly unfulfilled. I have so missed the feeling of being desired and having my partner seduce me.
It was really hard for my spouse to come out. They were so nervous and scared. I fucking hugged them and thanked them for telling me. I fucked up and told them everything will be alright.
But it won't be. I cant go the rest of my life with a partner who isn't sexually attracted to me. So i spoke with a lawyer.
Im so worried about my spouse. They are really dependent on me socially, emotionally, and financially. And i know that they love me. They love me more than anyone ever has in my entire life.
I wish love could be enough for me to be happy in a relationship.
Tomorrow is really going to suck.
ETA: just to make things clear... an open relationship is NOT an option. I am strictly monogamous. I am not the type of person who is capable of having multiple partners. An open relationship isnt going to help me meet my needs that are currently missing in my relationship. What i need is for my spouse to be sexually attracted to me.
And for those of you have assumed the gender of myself and my spouse... the majority of you are wrong. Watch your assumptions.
RELEVANT COMMENTS/ADDITIONAL INFO
theyluvsoph

how did this all work out?

OOP

Not well.
I ended up leaving, they trashed the place while I was gone and got arrested.

theyluvsoph

I’m sorry OP, hopefully it all works out and you can heal from this.

OOP

Thanks.
Got a lot going on rn figuring out all the shit I have to do with their cat who got badly injured, figuring out what's going on with their charges and hiring someone to fix the walls.
But i know everything will eventually work out the way it needs to. Just gotta keep swimming.

Commentator

The fact that you are calling the cat, "their cat" knowing you two were married really shows that there was never a partnership here. It was just you. You divorcing them is a blessing in disguise for them.

OOP

The cat is "their" cat because I am incredibly allergic to cats.
I was never able to bond with the cat because even with medication, being in actual contact with her makes me break out into hives. So I have had to keep my distance from her and we never developed a ownepet bond. My personal relationship with the cat is more of a friendly roommate thing. The cat also very very clearly preferred my stbx and was incredibly bonded with them.
The cat also predates my relationship with my stbx.
Calling the cat their cat has absolutely zero meaning in regards to how I viewed my partnership and is more of a reflection between my own relationship with the cat than anything else.
I have always cared about the cat and have put her first in regards to family planning and budgeting. I fucking gave up my favorite room in the house with a gorgeous bay window for the cat when they moved in, since I figured that cat would enjoy it. Not to mention that I also just dropped nearly $6k on the cat this week because i came home to her with a broken jaw. Money from the emergency fund that I was the sole contributor to.
But go on and tell me again how referring to the cat as "their" cat means I never considered them a partner even though I planned for and made concessions for said cat repeatedly over the last 8 years...

~
wings_denied

I hate to be that person who cares more about a pet than the person in a situation... But man that makes me sad and happy all at once that you helped it. Did you already pay the vet bill outright? You should know that you can surrender the animal to the clinic. Might be the best option considering it doesn't sound like your ex is gonna get out very soon and considering your allergy. Are authorities aware of the cat's injuries? Might not be great to pile on animal cruelty charges, but they shouldn't get that animal back.
Sorry about everything.

OOP

I did speak to the police about the cat. They thanked me for the information and asked for information about what vet I took her to but I haven't heard anything else about it.
I did already pay as I took her to the emergency vet and had to pay at the time of services. Didnt really think things through, just saw that she was hurt and wanted to fix her.
I know they are having trouble getting bail together (and I am not willing to do that after the way they damaged the house and with dropping almost $6k on the cat).
Obviously the divorce is on hold ftm. (Per attorney's advice as a conviction or jail time could impact what I am responsible for). I am very seriously considering rehoming the cat while my stbx is gone, I'm not sure what legal ramifications I will face due to that or how it may effect the eventual divorce settlement.
It really sucks because I don't KNOW what happened, and the cat really is super bonded with my stbx. She is also a senior now and just... oof. I don't really know what the right thing to do is.
But that's a future me problem. Right now I just gotta focus on cleaning up the house and getting the cat to eat again. She has been refusing food post surgery.

11 year old kitty with broken/dislocated jaw has a long vet visit ahead of her (couple weeks). Need ideas to make her more comfy please. March 9, 2024
I had to take our family cat to the emergency vet last night. She had a dislocated and broken jaw that required surgery to have it fixed. :(
She has come out of surgery just fine and the emergency vet says she can be released from their hospital tomorrow. Unfortunately she has some pretty intensive post op care required that I'm not going to be able to handle on my own, so I have made arrangements with her regular vet to board her during her recovery.
I'm looking for ideas and suggestions to make her a little more comfy during all of this. I figured I would bring her bed and a blanket so she has something that smells like home, but would absolutely love ideas.
I've heard of pheromone collars that arr supposed to help cats relax and stay calm. Are any of those good?
Also, looking for recommendations for super palatable wet foods or liquid treats. She is going to be on a soft and liquid diet for a while. She can be really picky at the best of times, so I want to arm the staff with lots of options.
And this is kinda weird, but do you think I should visit her during her recovery? She and I have a more "roommate" type of relationship. Im actually really allergic to cats, I've been OK living with her by taking medication, thorough cleaning, air filters and her and I respecting each other's space, but actual contact with her results in me getting incredibly itchy and breaking out in hives, so even though we've lived together for years, she and I her not super bonded. Her person will not be able to see her. I'm honestly dont know a super lot about cats. I'm not sure if a familiar face would be a comfort or an annoyance.
Thanks in advance. I just want this little girl to feel better :(
Tastiest soft food or treat? Even if it is unhealthy garbage. Need to get kitty eating after surgery. March 9, 2024
Tastiest soft food or treat? Even if it is unhealthy garbage. Need to get kitty eating after surgery.
Our cat had surgery on wednesday morning for a broken and dislocated jaw. She made it through surgery and vet is optimistic.
But we need to get her eating again. She has to have soft food for a few months. I'm looking for recommendations for anything soft that might get her going again.
So far the only thing she has willingly consumed is goat cheese (vet is OK with this, it was actually a vet tech's idea)
Thanks in advance!
Update March 12, 2024
I have a not very happy update.
I told my stbx that we needed to talk. We sat down and pretty much as soon as I mentioned that I wanted to end the marriage due to our sexual incompatibility, they started to become incredibly emotional. First with crying and begging me to reconsider. Then when I had held fast to my choice, they became very angry with me. They started yellinging and being belligerent. So I told them I was leaving and they followed me out to my car and slammed their fist hard enough on the hood they left a sizeable dent.
I actually never even got around to telling them I had already spoken with an attorney or let them have the preliminary draft of our divorce agreement.
I went to stay in a hotel, my stbx continued to try and text and call me. They left a few really nasty voicemails and a few begging and crying for us to keep working on our marriage before I blocked them to get some rest.
The next morning I came to realize that the police had been trying to contact me. Turns out that my stbx went on an absolute rampage through the house. Many of my personal items were destroyed. Holes punched and kicked into the walls. Some very sentimental items of mine are now damaged beyond repair. They even took my 80 year old jade plant out back and put it on the grill. That had been my grandmother's plant. I'm devestated about that. Apparently during the rampage the neighbors called the cops with a noise complaint. When the officers showed up there was an altercation and my stbx ended up getting arrested. They are now facing charges for disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and assault on a peace officer.
The worst part though, is that somehow during the rampage, arrest or while left alone overnight, my stbx's cat got badly injured and needed to be taken to the emergency vet for surgery. She pulled through surgery OK and is currently being boarded at her regular vet's office for post op care as I am unable to provide the level of care she needs. She should be OK but I feel really bad for her, her life is turned upside down, she is away from home and the last memory she has of her favorite person was seeing them be a monster. I'm not sure what I am going to end up doing with her ultimately. But I am doing what I can to get her feeling better.
I knew my stbx would get emotional, and cry and yell, i knew they would be argumentative about it. Those were a big part of why I wanted to have all my ducks in a row before speaking with them. I am super thankful to my therapist who helped me roleplay "the talk". I had already had a packed bag in my car and was able to stay calm and cool headed enough to leave when I did.
My ex still has not posted bail, and I absolutely refuse to do so. They've been calling me from lock up begging me to, but also yelling at me. I have refused to take any of the calls.
The preliminary divorce agreement where I was attempting an amicable divorce with decent spousal support for them is out the fucking window now.
My attorney is fairly confident that with the damages to the house, the cost of surgery for my stbx's cat, my stbx's violent and threatening behavior toward me, and our preexisting prenup, that the divorce will be VERY favorable to me. Guess my state doesn't suck as hard as I thought. My attorney has advised me to hold off on filing until we know the outcome of my stbx's criminal convictions as that can also impact things.
I have a hearing this week for a restraining order against my stbx, so if they do somehow miraculously make bail, they atleast can't come back here.
And on a personal note/gotta throw this out into the universe and get it off my chest: to the person wearing the batman shirt in home depot last saturday who chatted up the person wearing the TMNT shirt. Thank you. A very deep sincere thank you. If you are reading this I hope you see why I declined to exchange numbers with you. There is a lot of chaos in my life atm. But you were a glimmer of hope for me of what my future life could be like.
ADDITIONAL INFO
Here
The cat is at her vet recovering from her surgery. She had a broken and dislocated jaw. It required surgery to fix.
She should be alright, unfortunately I am actually fairly allergic to cats. I can handle living with her with lots of air filters, thorough daily cleaning and allergy meds, but I can't pet her or be in close contact without breaking out into hives.
I'm kinda in a pickle with her. She is 11 years old and she has lived in my home for 8 of those years. On one hand, if she lives with me for the rest of her days she atleast gets to be in the home she has known and loved most of her life, but she wont get to be cuddled or petted much at all. I'm considering trying to rehome her after her recovery, but that is a lot of change for an elderly kitty, I'm not sure what the best thing for her is. I'll consult with her vet when she is eating on her own and off meds and see what they think will be in her best interest.
I honestly don't know much about cats in general. I couod never have them and due to the allergies she and I have had more of a friendly roommate type of relationship then a pet/owner one
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Wunderkid_0519

You don't think he hurt the cat, do you?? Like, purposefully..??

OOP

I dont believe they hurt the cat purposefully, no.
They adopted the cat before we even met. It has been their cat the past 11 years. They and the cat were closely bonded. They cuddled every day and had a close bond.
I theorize that while they were rampaging through the house they were throwing and kicking stuff at random and the cat got caught in the cross fire, but I do not know for certain what happened.

notyourcinderella

A broken and dislocated jaw unfortunately may point to it being purposely done. Most cats are going to run and hide if someone starts telling or throwing things around. I suspect the cat was kicked, but I really hope it's not true.
Even if it wasn't on purpose, get a statement from the vet regarding the cat's injuries. That might actually help with your RO and/or divorce.

OOP

I have! Both attorney and police have documentation concerning the cat's injuries. I don't know if they are pursuing charges in that regard, but it is atleast documented.

~
myboogerstastespicy

Hi there! I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I applaud your calm reaction.
But seriously, I’m devastated about your grandmothers jade plant. And the fucking cat. Please don’t give details about the cat, I’ll howl with rage.
Sending all my positive everything to that plant and that cat and you, of course. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Wishing you a new lifetime of peace and happiness. Much love to you and that cat and that jade plant. Big hugs.

OOP

Thank you so much.
Can I give you one tiny detail about the cat? It's a fun one. She has eaten like a half pound of goat cheese this past week. She loves it and the vet is all for getting whatever calories into her they can.
I actually love goat cheese too but my stbx HATED it.
I just wanted to share that, cause it brings a little smile to my face

~
Celt42

Jade plants are succulents. If a single leaf made it, there's a good possibility of getting it to root.

OOP

I found some broken branches in the house and I have propped them already. So my dear little jade will live on in some form.
But it was a magnificent beast of a plant though and it's former glory is sorely missed.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

I have a question. This isn't about receiving a diagnosis; my mother has already been diagnosed with moderate early onset Alzheimer's.
My question is about the extent to which depression and possible bipolaborderline personality disorder can mimic or even cause dementia in old(er) age.
My mother's doctor is confused and surprised about how long the course of her disease has lasted, as she explained to us that the early onset variant is typically a faster progressing one, especially taking into account that it has been eight years since Mom was first diagnosed with MCI. At this point, she is still in control of her ADLs, though she needs reminders and guidance to shower and not wear the same clothes all week. When she feels wronged, she holds onto these perceived slights with crystal clarity, despite the fact that she can't remember a conversation we had five minutes earlier or her children's names, including mine. This isn't terribly different from before her initial diagnosis in 2016; she just lacks the filter now. When my stepfather was still alive, she'd frequently fly into blind rages accusing him of screwing anything with a pulse. This had gone on for years and included *me*; she once woke me up by slapping me repeatedly in the face for trying to seduce him after I had fallen asleep with my calf outside the blanket. I don't know how he put up with it, and I skedaddled as soon as I turned 18.
We do have a strong family history (grandmother, four of her siblings, and great-grandmother all had dementia of some type), and I've recently learned from my aunts that Mom was a holy living terror as an adolescent/young adult. (This, of course, is in contrast with what Mom told me my entire life, which is that my aunts/grandmother had it out for her and treated her horribly.) I have two copies of APOE4, so I don't think she's intentionally faking it, per se, but so many odd things are going on that sometimes I feel like she's putting on a bit so that she projects this need to be rescued. It just sucks for her that I'm the last person on earth she wanted to be rescued by.
Thanks!

OP thinks she ruined her mother’s life and reputation
This is a repost, Original Poster is u/blownupmarriage1
Original Original posted in TrueOffMyChest
“I ruined my mom’s life and reputation”
My (40 F) parents, dad (63 M) and mom (60 F), have been married for 43 years. I have six siblings 42 F, 38 F, 34 F, 20 M, 20 M, 18 M. I have been with my husband (39 M), since we were 15. I got pregnant at 17 and we moved in with my parents. I gave birth to my now 22 year old daughter. We got married at 18 shortly after. My dad’s father passed shortly after our wedding and left his ranch style house to my father. My grandparents built a house next door to my parents when they retired. My parents decided to let us live in this house & told us this would be my inheritance. My husband and I had no issues with this. We went on to have a 20 M, 14 F, 5 F, and I'm currently 7 months pregnant with my last child, a boy, due in April.
I thought I had a good marriage, we were intimate more than twice a week, we went on date nights, we bought each other gifts, we didn't fight. My entire world was shattered on New Years Eve when I returned early from a girl’s trip I had taken with some friends. I walked into my bedroom to find my mom having sex with my husband. My mother screamed at me to get out of “their” bedroom which really shook me up even more.
Unfortunately, my oldest daughter, was also home in her bedroom across the house getting ready for a party. She ran out and witnessed my all but a bed sheet naked mother run out of our house next door to her house and slam the door. My daughter was devastated and went to my sister’s house. I asked her not to say anything until I first talked to my husband. I asked him for the truth. He told me that my mom seduced him when we were 18 and living in their house. They’d been having unprotected sex at least once a month for longer than we were married. I ran the math and was horrified, because the timeline meant my twin brothers and youngest brother could be my husband’s.
I immediately called my dad and told him to come to my house without my mom. I made my husband confess and my dad was devastated, he and my mom were high school sweethearts too. Needless to say, we could hear my mother screaming from her house when he confronted her.
I then told my older sister and she and I decided to have her throw a party for the whole extended family and we invited my ex’s family as well. At the party, I had my 22 F daughter take all the kids to our basement and put on a movie, leaving only the adult children and siblings and I told them exactly what they’d been doing.
Most of the family is on my side, except my 3 youngest siblings, 38 F sister, Ex’s entire family. They all say I’m an AH for dropping this publicly. Word got out and my mom’s best friend, who is on leadership at my mom’s church (my childhood church)called me to verify. My mom has since been let go as the children’s pastor there and she claims I’ve essentially ruined her reputation and life. My dad kicked her out and she’s now living with my 38 F sister, and lastly, my dad insisted on a dna test for the three youngest boys before he’d consider anything to do with their marriage. The twins are my husband’s bio children. I’ve since kicked him out and he’s living with his parents.
My father and I are discussing me moving into his much larger house and him selling my grandfather's house and him giving me the money to buy a new house somewhere else to get rid of the memories. My husband is appalled and furious that I proved he actually is about to have seven kids, instead of five, that I'm going to be taking half his business away from him. My husband started his own HVAC company a few years back and for the first five years, I helped him get it set up, ran the office completely, and took time away from my teaching career to help him get this established. In my state, all marital assets, including businesses are split 50/50. Since the house was still in my father's name, my husband will get no money from the sale, neither will my mother, since inherited assets are not subject to be split in divorces. My mother is also likely to not get any alimony, as our state is not a no fault divorce state.
I'm now over a month removed, still extremely bitter and angry at my mother, especially at her hypocrisy of calling me a whore and shaming my family, when she's done much worse. I also despise my ex with everything within me now, as he was fucking both my mom and me in some instances coming to our bed minutes later. He got my mother pregnant less than a week after getting me pregnant and while I thought it was so cute and fun that I shared a pregnancy experience with my mom, she was carrying my children's half siblings. He has broken all trust I had in men and being faithful. I have already procured a good lawyer from the firm that helped us in financial matters for both me and my dad and my dad is helping pay for it.
My twin brothers, one of my sisters, and my entire ex's family have gone no contact with me and my minor children and my children have essentially lost all of their grandparents but my dad, two uncles, and an aunt on my side, and my husband's three brothers, due to this mess.
I've also developed ulcers and digestive issues because of this, so I'm visiting the doctor soon and I've been in therapy since the first week of January. I've offered this for my two adult children if they need family therapy with all of us, but they're doing individual therapy right now.
My 14 year old knows that we're getting divorced and why and she's so angry at her dad that I struggle sending her to his house on the weekends. I feel like she's old enough to make a decision on that, but I don't want to damage her relationship with her dad. I've told all my kids it's okay to love their dad, even if he hurt me, but the oldest two have cut him off 100%. I won't tell my youngest two until they're teens why we got divorced, and everyone else has agreed to not spill anything until they're old enough to understand.
As for how I had no idea this affair was ongoing, my husband confirmed to me that they would have sex at my mom's office at church, in their cars, at a motel, and when we built the business, they started having it routinely in his office, once I went back to teaching. They also had it in our houses too when my father would go away on business trips or I'd be out of town.
It was pure happenstance that I came home a day early from a trip, because I was uncomfortable from being nearly seven months pregnant and just wanted my own bed, for me to find out. Knowing they'd be carrying on this full blown affair still if I hadn't caught them is what I'm still upset about. The fact that the grandmother and father of my children cared so little about destroying our families is what I can't get past.
What's hardest for me is that my own mother would do this to me and would continue to do this for years and not caring when it all blew up in her face that she would be destroying her entire family.
Edit: Also, to add insult to injury my husband confirmed in one of our mediated conversations the affair started when I apparently made him angry. He didn’t tell me and instead vented to my mom when they were alone. She comforted him and they had sex. He loved it and then pursued her after that. He said he would’ve divorced me, but knew he’d get cut off from her and she was so much better at sex than me, so stuck it out with me. He told me I was a placeholder. Of all the betrayal and low blows, that statement is what keeps me up at night.
TL;DR
My mom fucked my husband for 22 years, got pregnant with twins, continued the affair until I caught them in bed together on New Year’s Eve while I was nearly 7 months pregnant. I publicly exposed it and my mom lost her job , her marriage, and is homeless.
update
Update: I tried hard to go the route of a mediated divorce, but my ex told me yesterday through his lawyers that he doesn’t believe that the baby I’m carrying is his and he wants a dna test as soon as he’s born because he doesn’t want to support a child that isn’t his. He also believes I routinely cheated on him through our marriage and that I knew about his ongoing affair and used that as my excuse to have my own affairs. None of that is true, but I kind of wish it was because it would make the divorce easier. My lawyer basically told to me to get ready for a long, drawn out, brutal contested divorce and that my ex is likely going to try every underhanded tactic in the book to make my life even more miserable.
update 2/faq
FAQ/Update This had gone viral on Twitter and thanks to the people who let me know in dms. So I will answer some questions posed both here and there.

1. ⁠My twin brothers look like my egg donor’s side of the family. They look very close to my uncle and grandfather. They clearly don’t look like my dad at all, but they also don’t resemble my husband much either. My son looks my stbx and he’s the only child that you can visibly tell is his kid, although my 14 f daughter has his nose and jaw shape.
2. ⁠I was definitely enraged the day everything went down, but my dad talked me off the murder ledge and reminded me that I needed to think of my baby and my other kids before I do something that would remove both of their parents from their lives. That is what spared them. I still lived in a rage fog for the next few days which is what led to the revenge “party”. I only regret not telling my brothers privately that my egg donor had been cheating.
3. ⁠I honestly don’t know all the reasons my 38f sister is on my egg donor’s side. She doesn’t get along with me or my sisters and hasn’t since high school. I’m not that worried about her.
4. ⁠My twin brothers are upset that I sprung the news publicly. That is what my dad has gotten out of them. They are also in therapy and my dad has told me to just give them time. He thinks it’s just them “killing the messenger”. I did not tell them the possibility that my ex was their dad, but they can do math and figured out that they’re the same age as my son and he’s younger than the length of the affair. My dad sat them down and explained his reasoning for the dna test was to prove cheating and not because he was going to abandon them. He is their dad regardless of whose sperm fertilized the egg.
5. ⁠I don’t believe that my egg donor and stbx waited until he was 18 to have sex, but at this point I’m letting my dad fight that fight and letting him do what he needs to when dealing with her and their divorce.
6. ⁠I have contingency plans ready to enact in the event they decide to move in together, but my lawyer doesn’t believe my ex is stupid enough to do that with the divorce proceedings turning ugly.
7. ⁠I forgot to add this in earlier, my husband is 4 months younger than me. My birthday is in December and his is April. He will be 40 soon. We were in the same graduating class all through school from kindergarten through high school. He’s not a full year younger than me as others have speculated.

I’m focusing on my pregnancy, my kids, and moving on. I may provide an update after divorces are finalized, but thanks to everyone for the support and advice. Thanks for letting this hormonal, sad, ragey, bitter woman vent and get this off her chest.
[UPDATE] OP discovers her husband has been sleeping with her mother and fathering her children (“OP thinks she ruined her mother’s life and reputation”)
This is a #repost, Original Poster is u/blownupmarriage1
Tone : Dark, mentions of adultery, life-ruining, sad
Link to my original repost without the latest updates
Update 3
Update 3: I had a phone conversation with my aunt today (my egg donor’s sister) and she told me there is a family history of cheating in our family on their side of the family. My grandma cheated on my Grandpa for years but they reconciled, my aunt herself had multiple emotional affairs but is still married to my uncle. She tried blaming genetics on my mom’s affair. I laughed out loud at the absurdity of that attempt to justify her affair and my aunt is now mad at me for not hearing my egg donor out and her explanations for cheating. My dad and lawyer both say I should hear her out, so I’m still considering doing it right before we meet in early March to establish custody.
Edit: I should mention that I asked my aunt if my momma inherited the whore gene, which child did she pass it on to and how did my grandma manage to pass it on to both her daughters. So that’s probably why she’s mad in retrospect. I’ve honestly lost all sympathy for cheaters after this.
Update 4 I apparently am banned from making new posts on True off my chest, so here is the latest update to anyone who is following me.
update to this post
I tried updating this on that post but it won’t let me add another edit. So here’s the latest happenings.
Update Recaps: My ex accused me of also being unfaithful because he was and wants a dna test when our son is born. My aunt exposed multiple affairs in my egg donors side of the family and tried to claim its genetic and hereditary. My dad and I’s lawyers encouraged us to meet with my egg donor for evidence and for “closure” and this update deals with the answers we were given about her choices when we did meet.
I met with my egg donor, dad, and our lawyers last evening. Essentially my egg donor said She knew it was wrong but enjoyed the attention., The sex was great and she enjoyed the thrill of it. She kept sleeping with my dad because she enjoyed their financial stability and carefree life and wanted to stay married. She purposely slept with him after each sexual encounter with my ex to endure if she got pregnant she could pass the child off. She also admitted to enjoying the knowledge that my ex enjoyed sex with her more than me.
She then said that she is moving in with my ex to his new place and that she invited the boys to live with them. The twins have visited once since the affair went public and told her they don’t like my ex and refuse to treat him like he’s their father. She said eventually they’ll come around once she’s married to my ex and then she’ll have her”family” back. I laughed out loud and told her she was delusional and needed psychiatric help. Then I told her I would be taking out an order of protection against her so she’d have no access to my minor children.
She called me a jealous and ungrateful cow for not appreciating that she didn’t abort me and let me live. She said I should be happy that they didn’t kick me out when I came home knocked up. She even had the nerve to say I should be thankful she kept my husband happy when I couldn’t so he didn’t divorce me and leave me a broken and damaged goods single mother. She then told my dad she suffered from postpartum depression after my birth and my dad ignored it and her and made her feel alone so she felt justified in hating me and to have affairs. She admitted to having multiple affairs from six months after I was born until New Year’s Eve and said she’d still be doing it if I hadn’t ruined everything. So… my 38F sister and 34 F sister may not be my dad’s either.
My dad is even more heartbroken and angry, but we did have both our lawyer’s present and we got it on record. My dad has already reached out to my siblings, but to nobody’s surprise I guess my 38 F sister already knew it was a possibility because my mom told her about both affairs when the twins were born and she knew they might not be my dad’s and kept it from us. My dad is devastated by that even more than losing his relationship with my mom. I’m not sure their relationship will ever recover. I genuinely have no clue what is wrong with my 38 F sister.
My 34 F sister doesn’t want a paternity test and said our dad will always be her dad. My dad is fine with that. I sent a message to my ex through my lawyer that I will be filing an order of protection tomorrow so that my kids won’t have to go to my ex’s house if my mother is there. Neither one has even attempted to find new housing either, so I guess she’s planning to move into my ex in law’s house? I really don’t want my kids around that mess. He has yet to respond, but at this point I really don’t care what he wants.
(P.S. my family knows about the social media posts as do the lawyers, but my ex and egg donor have zero chance of a good outcome in the divorce so I’m going to be petty and enjoy their anger about being exposed so I’m leaving it up. They can stew in their filth and know that not only does our town think they’re terrible, so does the world. And I have permission from my younger sister to share what happened last night. I don’t really care what my 38F sister thinks.)
Tl; dr There were more affairs, my mom blames my dad for her pregnancy experience with me and she hates me because she had post party’s depression during pregnancy and my 38f sister knew about the affairs and never told us. My mom wants to move in with my ex and take the twins with her to start a new family. I’m taking out an order of protection against her so she can’t be around my minor kids.
[FINAL UPDATE] OP discovers her husband has been sleeping with her mother and fathering her children (“OP thinks she ruined her mother’s life and reputation”)
This is a repost, Original Poster is u/blownupmarriage1
CW : mentions of adultery, grooming, abuse, pedophilia, domestic abuse
[Updates 1 and 2]
[Updates 3 and 4]
[FINAL UPDATE]
Hello, thank you to everyone who has sent me chats/messages supporting me and asking how I'm doing. I do have an update.

1. I gave birth to my son in the beginning of April. He is healthy and I had no health complications.
2. At the end of March I was able to get temporary full physical and legal custody of my kids.
3. My 14 year old daughter asked me if I'd be willing to do family therapy with her and her dad. I did not want to do it. I fought it, but eventually I chose to do so for the sake of my daughter and her need to process everything and hopefully move on.
4. I learned a LOT more about the relationship between my ex and my egg donor due to homework the therapist gave us. My ex did reveal more things which I believe to be true:
   1. My mom had actually tried to seduce him well before we were of age. From my ex's recollection when my egg donor took over the youth group I was 15 and he was a few months from turning 15. The grooming began then. She'd counsel him "privately" because he needed it. They kissed at some point when he was still 14 and that was all they did (meaning they'd make out during these sessions) until he turned 18. It was right around the time of the first kiss that my mom convinced him to ask me out and date me so they could keep seeing each other without suspicion. At this revelation, I was both devastated (my entire relationship was built on a lie and my husband never loved me and also a sense of relief knowing that I had absolutely nothing to do with their affair.) The reason I believe this is true is that when he asked me out, I had to get permission from my parents to date. At the time the rule was no one could date before age 16. My mom went to bat for me, or so I thought. We started dating right after he turned 15. The timeline adds up. EDITED: My dad is currently looking into potential other cases of abuse and manipulation right now with the help of the church officials, nothing has turned up, and truthfully while I hate my egg donor, I find it hard to believe she'd have the stamina to carry on multiple affairs with other boys. I think she seduced him knowing I liked him and wanted to feel superiority over me? Looking back all of this makes sense, her treatment of me, and my children in relationship to her other grandkids. I think all of this was a seriously fucked up case of her being narcissistic and punishing me for "ruining her life."
   2. The did not have full sex until he turned 18 and I guess that was his birthday present from her.
   3. My 22F and 20 M children are still not speaking to him which he has come to grips with and understands they'll likely never re-establish contact with him.
   4. The twins and I have reconciled fully.

Now for the egg donor:
After the last phone call with my aunt, I cut off contact with her and my grandmother. I was tired of my aunt trying to guilt trip me into talking to my egg donor. My grandma is a whole other problem and is beginning to show signs of dementia and senility. She is still harassing my egg donor and calling her a whore of Babylon, which I'm okay with, but the other stuff she's doing and saying is not something I want to add to my life of stress.
My 34F and 42F sister were the ones who helped me with labor and delivery plan. My ex knew what the plans were but also that I did not want him at the hospital until I had already given birth and was in a better place for him to meet his son. He agreed to this. The day I went into labor my 34F sister took my 14F and 5F children to her home while my 42F sister was with me in the room. Apparently, my 14F child needed something from the school and reached out to my ex to pick it up as he was still on the official pick up list (he no longer is) and drop it off at my sister's house. My egg donor was with him when he took the call. He refused to let her come along as I did not want my children around my egg donor. She apparently followed him in her car to the store and then my sister's house and threw a temper tantrum on the front lawn of my sister's house. My ex "broke up" with her and told her she was too much drama and it just wasn't worth it anymore and she flew into a rage and physically attacked him and started destroying things in my sister's yard. The cops were called my egg donor was arrested for domestic violence. At that point my ex, my sister, and I all took out orders of protection against her due to the instability and the situation.
My ex moved into an apartment close to the HVAC company. My 14 year old daughter has decided not to forgive him and told him that she didn't want to be around him currently, so only the 5 year old visits my ex. He comes to my dad's house and visits her one weeknight and one weekend evening (when I take my other kids and twin brothers out for dinner).
We've established contact through a custody app and we'll be revisiting the custody issue in June. I will be pursuing full legal and physical custody until my ex can prove to me he's done the necessary therapy and treatment he needs. I still hate my ex with everything in my being for what he did to me from the time I was 15 until recently, but I hate my egg donor far more for what she did to us all. I do have some sympathy for him and I truly want him to be okay for the sake of my younger kids. EDITED: Yes, he has met his newborn son. He met him the night I gave birth. I also allowed his in laws and brothers to meet him as well. His in laws and I are currently setting up plans for the 14 and 5 year old to have time with them as well as times they can come visit my newborn. My ex is allowed supervised visitation at this point (not a court ordered visitation, but my wishes which he is adhering too as he does his therapy and rehab) and he gets regular time with the 5 year old. He does get access to our newborn at least once a week (if he comes with his parents) if he wishes. He's seen his son at least six times since I gave birth and three in my presence. We're slowly rebuilding civilized communication.
As for the other divorce proceedings he's agreed to a mediated uncontested divorce and I'll be getting half of everything, including the business. I'm choosing to sell my shares to one of my ex's workers who'd like to become a partner. The ex is happy with this and I'll be happy to be completely rid of any ties to my ex.
My dad was able to sell my old house. It didn't even get listed as our realtor knew a family looking and I have begun looking for houses about 45 minutes away from my dad.
As for the egg donor: she has gone into hiding. Once the twins told her unequivocally they'd never live with her and that they wanted nothing to do with her, especially after how she got arrested, she began a whole lot of guilt tripping and blaming them. She is now contesting the divorce from my dad and only speaking to him through her lawyer.
As for my 38F sister, she got a wake up call from this whole thing when my mother called her and berated her for 45 minutes for not bailing her out of jail. Apparently, my 38F sister has been going through fertility issues (like I said I don't talk to her and had no idea) and she's been stressed out and anxious and feeling bad about herself, which is why she let our egg donor manipulate her because she felt good about herself when she was getting all the positive attention. When she wasn't willing to pay the money to bail her out as she and her partner were saving up for another cycle of IVF, she realized that she was being manipulated and reached out to me. We have begun slowly talking again, but she is on my side regarding this all. She is also talking to my dad again, which for his sake, I'm happy that he is able to reconnect with her.
Having my son (btw, we did the DNA test a few weeks before his birth he is definitely my ex's), has been a pleasure and joy and he and my other kids and my support system of my dad and siblings has gotten me through this and will continue to do so. I am hopeful that at some point I will be able to deal with my ex without anger and bitterness, seeing as he has trauma from what my egg donor did to him. I'll be okay. Like I said, this will be my last update on this. So thank you for all the kindness, love, and support!
————- I am not OOP. I just reposted u/blownupmarriage1 ‘s story

• Gen 1 = 100 Babies Challenge.
• Gen 5 = Teen runaway Super sim.
• Gen 6-26 = Travellers Legacy Challenge.
• Gen 27-37 = Modified Immigrants Challenge. The Rise of Valeria.
• Gen 38 = Toddler Lives Alone Challenge.
• Gen 39 = Teen Superheroes. The Battle Against Valeria.

​
1. Jolanda Becool. Jolanda always wanted a big family. In fact she wanted to raise 100 children! Unable to find a spouse who was up to the task, Jolanda had a long series of flings and one-night stands. She found a lot of success in her life, not only in raising her children but also in her many work-from-home careers and achieving her life aspirations. She built an eccentric house perfectly suited to raising children, called "La Casa Extraña" by the locals, and from this home base she seduced dozens of men and occults. After achieving her goal of raising 100 babies, Jolanda built "Yearning Manor", and began delving into immortality via vampirism.
2. Hex Becool. Hex was one of Jolanda's last children, and the daughter of Darrel Charm. She moved back in with her mother to keep her company, although when Jolanda discovered Hex was pregnant to an unknown partner, Jolanda kicked her out and instead built and married a servo bot for company.
3. Curse Becool. When Hex gave birth, she immediately named her child "Curse". It seemed fitting given that the father was unknown, and the child's existence had caused Hex to be exiled from her mother's luxurious property. However Curse never let this get her down. She grew up with a love for oceans and the islands, and eventually met and married an island elemental, giving birth to twin girls; Glimmer and Shimmer.
4. Glimmer Becool. Glimmer loved taking walks to the lighthouse in Brindleton Bay, so when she and Father Winter hit it off, it was only natural for her to take her new beau for a romantic date at the top of the lighthouse. She concieved 4 children, Newt, Salamander, and Toad. The fourth child's name has been lost to time.
5. Salamander Becool. Born gifted with Sulani Mana + Ancient Bloodline + Father Winter's Baby traits, Salamander and her siblings had a wonderful toddlerhood... Until tragedy struck.
One winter they were at the rec centre when Newt went swimming autonomously and died. Glimmer brought her back to life immediately, but Salamander found it traumatic and she refused to share a bedroom with her once-dead sibling. She began sleeping in the loungeroom, or outside, until she discovered she could get into the attic by climbing the lattice outside. She started spending more and more time in the attic, as she became more and more scared of her mother and her once-dead sister.
By the time she became a teenager she was already living in the attic fulltime and only sneaking into the house when everyone else was at school/work. She remained on good terms with Toad who would sometimes sneak her some dinner or unlock the doors to let her in at night. Shortly after aging up to teen, Salamander snuck into the house and stole food from the fridge, as well as a few useful items, and then she hit the road. Stealing food from strangers' BBQs at the park, sleeping in the school at night, disgusing herself to blend into a crowd... It was tough but she was making great progress on her skills and goals. Her kleptomania helped keep her fed.
She made many bad choices, and lived recklessly, which led to one of her many boyfriends dumping her out of nowhere. Soon she realised how much she had cared for that boyfriend, and she started turning her life around to win him back. Together they got a cheap apartment in the city and fixed it up by dumpster diving and crafting their own furniture. Eventually, when Salamander had completed all of her goals, maxxed all of her skills, and completed all of the collections, their children were ready to set out on their own adventures.
6. Axolotl Becool. Married to the flower bunny, Axolotl began the travellers legacy in Willow Creek. She had a big happy family, celebrated every wedding, maxxed her comedy skill, and earned her way from rags to a comfortable life.
7. Briar Rose Becool. Briar Rose revitalised her little patch of Oasis Springs ("Hippie Oasis"), completing the gardening collection & aspiration, having 3 husbands who all provided her with one daughter each, and who were all sadly eaten by her herd of pet cowplants.
8. Chestnut Becool. Living in Windenburg and married to the new Father Winter, Chestnut collected holiday cracker plushies, was the leader of her bowling club, and loved to party every week. With max DJ and dance skills, she was a blast to be around. She once bowled a perfect game!
9. Daikon Becool. Living in Brindleton Bay with her wife, Daikon raised several pets, including the simstagram famous feline "Sushi". She collected feathers, was a skilled vet, and a famous breeder of foxes.
10. Ermine Becool. Even after she made it big, Ermine still lived in the little trailer park that she had called home since she moved to Del Sol Valley as a teen. "Awaiting Stardom Trailers". Her marriage to a successful comedian (and her long-term affair with a paparazzi) produced several children who were rising stars in their own right.
11. Firefly Becool. Shunning the spotlight, Firefly moved to Sulani where she married a keen conservationist. Together they cleaned up Sulani, swam with dolphins, collected buried treasure, and raised 3 free-range children on their little island paradise.
12. Grackle Becool. Grackle and Ginger weren't just siblings, they were best friends. While Grackle inherited the spellcaster gene, Ginger inherited their father's mermaid genetics. In a cruel twist of fate, their parents' efforts to revitalise Sulani also brought tourists who loved to hunt "sea monsters". To keep Ginger safe, Grackle took her inland to the city of San Myshuno where they found a row of abandoned shopfronts to squat in. Grackle became a con artist to provide for their growing family after he met his wife and quickly had several children.
13. Hedgehog Becool. Living in a research station in Mt. Komorebi, Hedgehog soon met a like-minded scientist and proposed to him on their yearly mountain climbing excursion. The two were avid skiiers and snowboarders, who collected Simmies and really dived into all aspects of life in Mt. Komorebi.
14. Ibis Becool. Raised to be respectful and neat, Ibis rebelled from a young age. She left as soon as she became a teenager, and moved to Evergreen Harbour where she was free to be a dumpster diving slob, and pursue creativity over logic. Marrying Patchy the Scarecrow and raising 6 kids on a small block of land wasn't easy, but Ibis (affectionately nicknamed "Bin Chicken") also managed to master candlemaking, juice fizzing, frog breeding, & photography, becoming a master maker.
15. Jackal Becool. Drawn to country life on a larger scale, Jackal moved to an abandoned farm in Hensford on Bagley ("Modified Hanok Farm"). There he married the Mayor, gave birth to alien triplets, as well as some spellcaster offspring to continue the legacy. In his lifetime Jackal achieved many feats of greatness, including raising prize winning animals, baking prize-winning pies, growing prize-winning giant crops, befriending birds and rabbits and foxes, and going above-and-beyond for the residents of Hensford.
16. Kestrel Becool. Living in Glimmerbrook it made sense for Kestrel to seek knowledge of her ancient bloodline. So she married a sage, became a master of spellcraft & sorcery, and was well known as a purveyor of fine potions. Mastering every spell and potion wasn't enough, Kestrel needed to own every magical artifact, and do it all in style. Her flair for mischief led her to throw "spooky parties" for the normies who wandered into Glimmerbrook looking for the stereotypical witches from their fairytales.
17. Lemur Becool. Far from her mother's love of parties and socialising, all Lemur ever wanted was a quiet place to write a best selling novel or ten. Moving to an old cemetary in Forgotten Hollow felt like coming home, and she quickly wedded Johana Vatore (daughter of Lilith Vatore). They led a happy and quiet life in their crypt, with their mix of vampire and spellcaster children, always taking the time to celebrate day of the dead. They were also known to be good friends with Grimm Reaper, and when they encountered him, they celebrated the life of the deceased rather than mourning the death.
18. Mallow Becool. Growing up in Forgotten Hollow, Mallow had always been curious about the old tales of Vampire-Werewolf rivalry, so naturally she ended up in Moonwood Mill where she met a lovely werewolf named Lou Howell. Mallow really felt like she belonged here, learning the history and seeking Moonwood relics, and reading every book she could get her hands on. But she didn't lose sight of her old family, having weekly dinner parties in the hopes of mending their warped views on werewolves. Mallow also loved painting and fitness, and aspired to be a bodybuilder, while Lou achieved all of his canine aspirations, eventually becoming "cured" of his lycanthropy. Later Lou would seek to return to his canine form, and form a wolfpack of his own.
19. Nutmeg Becool. Being raised along with werewolf pups had Nutmeg dreaming of a normal life. She moved to San Sequioia and started a traditional family with a nice businessman and a white picket fence. Nutmeg thrived in her new life, taking pride in her housework, doting on her children, and always delivering a nice hot meal three times a day. She hosted family reunions every week, and had a profitable hobby of flower arranging. As her children entered school and she found herself alone all day, Nutmeg found enrichment on the penpal forums and would revel in the postcards she recieved from all over the world.
20. Opal Becool. Raised in a suburban dream, Opal found her soulmate in her highschool sweetheart. Though she moved to Copperdale, she never quite lost touch with her inner-child and was known for her weekly sleepover parties and her extensive collection of MySims statuettes. Thinking back on her glory days of being crowned Prom Royalty and beating all her friends at the latest video games, Opal has no regrets.
21. Poinsettia Becool. Destined to be the first university graduate in her family, Poinsettia settled in a little caravan in the heart of Britechester. While achieving perfect grades, mastering research and debate, and collecting microscope prints in her spare time, Poinsettia was really a Party Animal at heart, throwing legendary Keg parties all weekend. After completing her degree perfectly, a relationship soon flourished between Poinsettia and her former-professor, spawned by a shared hobby of collecting elements.
22. Quill Becool. Living in the middle of a busy neighbourhood, surrounded by drunk university students every weekend, Quill really needed to just get away from it all. Hearing of a new highway between Britechester and Chestnut Ridge, Quill got those wagons rolling! Roughing it in tents, bathing in rivers, and grilling in the great outdoors. What more could she want? Quill soon entered a polyamorous relationship with a local nectar-making duo. Together the three became Expert Nectar Makers, raised a whole gaggle of children, and explored the local cave systems. Their relationship was rocky, but there were moments of peaceful happiness which made it all worthwhile.
23. Rain Becool. Although she owned property in Newcrest, Rain spent most of her time exploring Granite falls. She made her homebase at "Camper's Pavillion". The arid deserts of her childhood were replaced by the lush forests she grew to love. A love almost greater than her love for the quiet hermit she chanced upon in the depths of the forest. Disdaining the school system, Rain instead homeschooled her children, teaching vital life skills such as fishing, and which herbs and insects were good to eat.
24. Sorrel Becool. Inheriting the family plot in Newcrest, Sorrel preferred the tropics of Selvadorada where she quickly married a local and raised her children in the ruins they explored together. The entire family were known for their archaeological skills and expert knowledge of the local culture. Museums around the world clamoured for the fossils, Ancient treasures, and Ancient artifacts that they collected.
25. Tarot Becool. Any toddler who is literally raised in ruins and jungles will tell you that Newcrest simply isn't interesting enough! For Tarot, the need to explore was just too great, so she hopped on the next big adventure - Batuu! Aliens, droids, lightsabers, bring it on! Tarot explored everything she could about this alien world, including the aliens themselves. After several dalliances with various aliens (and even Kylo Ren), Tarot found real love with a Twi'lek who was even willing to leave Batuu to be together. I can't say they raised any children together, because frankly Tarot was too obsessed with her own goals to actually pay attention to her children.
26. Ursinia Becool. Where do you move after growing up neglected on the streets of Batuu? Tartosa of course! All Ursinia ever wanted was someone to love and love her in return. She thought she had found this love with her best friend, but to her surprise her parents objected and insisted on setting her up on several blind dates with "acceptable" men. Feeling the pressure of 26 generations, Ursinia finally accepted her duty as heir and selected a man to marry. The wedding was a large and flambouyant affair lasting an entire week, with family meetings, bach parties, and all the trimmings. Ursinia had picked her husband based on his age - hoping that once they had concieved an heir, she wouldn't be stuck with him for too much longer. Her husband was quiet and a gentle soul, who had been pressured into re-marriage after a nasty divorce. The two bonded as friends and peacefully raised their children together, often taking sunset walks and searching the sands for messages in bottles.
27. Valeria Becool. After generations of wandering, the family's citizenship status was uncertain. Valeria found herself an immigrant with only one place open to her - Magnolia Promenade. She would have to work her way up from the ground, but she was determined to build a legacy of her own - a family business, a bakery that would stand for generations. Starting in a rundown little shop ("Parkview General Store") she had bought up cheap, Valeria lived in a tent behind the burnt out shop husk and worked towards rebuilding it on her own. All the while running a foodstall and raising triplets as a single mother. It was tough work, but Valeria was tough too. She barely slept, spending all of her time baking, selling, child-rearing, and repairing/renovating her little shop. As the children grew she put them to work and soon their bakery was flourishing. As time went on and Valeria found old age approaching, she used her magical prowess to achieve immortality, so she could watch over her precious business for eternity.
28. Wintergreen Becool. Raised in the backyard of a decrepit little shop, Wintergreen and her siblings were tough and disciplined. They had no time for nonsense - they needed to survive. Valeria still ruled the roost, dictating her children's lives and marriages. Wintergreen kept her nose to the grindstone and worked hard to achieve her place as heir. When her siblings had been married off, she approached Valeria with a match that she hoped Valeria would approve. After many meetings, her sweetheart managed to win Valeria's approval and the two were happily joined (although their marriage was not legally recognised due to their status as immigrants). Together they helped improve the business, even building a second floor home so their children wouldn't need to be raised in tents like Wintergreen had been.
29. Xerus Becool. With Valeria still in charge, "heir" seemed like a meaningless title which Xerus simply lucked into. Nonetheless, Xerus did his duty, joined with a woman who met Valeria's approval, and began to contribute in his own way. He inherited his father's love of ranching, and was content to work hard in the garden. Under his care, their animals and gardens produced even better quality ingrediants than they ever had before.
30. Yerba Becool. Yerba was a socially gifted child who was favoured by Valeria from a young age. Through her charming personality Yerba was able to gain a great reputation for the family business, becoming an excellent salesman and having an intuitive knack for successful advertising campaigns. Valeria favoured her so much that she allowed Yerba to choose her own husband, though she never grew fond of the man Yerba chose.
31. Zenaida Charmcaster. Born as the 5th generation in their new home, Zenaida and her siblings were granted full citizenship rights. Following a terrible childhood where she achieved no goals and learnt no skills, Zenaida one day found herself as a teen in a vicious struggle for succession. Turning to her great-great-grandmother's cooking expertise, she learned to make pufferfish nigiri and served her siblings and parents a feast that was to die for. This being done, Zenaida's next goal was to bring the family closer to their roots. For this reason, based on their ancestor Darrel Charm, she fashioned a new family last name - "Charmcaster". Valeria found Zenaida's ruthlessness charming, and began teaching her the ins and outs of the family business. Valeria also set Zenaida up with a genderqueer sim (descended from Vladislaus Straud) that she felt would be a perfect fit. The two fell in love instantly and were legally wed. They would produce 3 children in their short lives, Ambrose, Adzuki, and Arancini.
32. Adzuki Charmcaster. Of the triplets, Adzuki was the only one born without the spellcaster abilities that her family had been carrying since time immemorial. Knowing this almost certainly would prevent her from becoming heir, Adzuki took drastic action. She was an active child and begged for a pool party for their birthday, but she had an ulterior motive. Once everyone was enjoying themselves in the pool, Adzuki excused herself and sprung her trap - releasing walls that fell from the ceiling trapping her family in the pool. Once the competition had been eradicated Valeria had no choice but to accept Adzuki as heir and send her to the Magic Realm for training and ascension.
Adzuki was bitterly aware of how cruel the succession system in her family had become. Her mother had killed to become heir, and Adzuki had had no choice but to kill her own family simply because she wasn't a born spellcaster. Adzuki was determined that her children wouldn't suffer that fate, they wouldn't need to be unsure of their position, and they wouldn't be killed by their own family. The only way to ensure this would be for Adzuki to have only one child, one spellcaster child. And so, while training in the Magic Realm away from Valeria's watchful eye, Adzuki contrived to have a fling with the Sage of Mischief. Once she knew her fertility preparations had been successful and she was with child, Adzuki turned her mind to the next problem - Valeria would never accept an heir born out of wedlock. Adzuki had only a short window of time to marry before her pregnancy was discovered and her child would be put in danger.
Utilizing her position as sole heir, Adzuki pressures Valeria into accepting her "love match" - the first random sap to fall for her charms. Though she succeeds in fooling Valeria regarding Brioche's parentage, her secret plot to kill Valeria is discovered before Adzuki can take action.
33. Brioche Charmcaster. You could sum Brioche up in three words: Gloomy, erratic, paranoid. Orphaned at a young age when her mother was discovered plotting to kill Valeria, Brioche didn't have a great start. Although she did not remember much of her mother, she knew her mother had been scared of Valeria, and so Brioche had grown up walking on eggshells around Valeria. By the time she was a young adult, Valeria had Brioche completely under her control. She eventually wed a man Valeria had picked out for her, and was quite content with her new husband. But shortly after their twins started school, they discovered they had another price to pay for Adzuki's betrayal - Valeria killed Brioche and her husband, and raised the children herself.
34. Churro Charmcaster. A short and simple life awaited Churro. She felt an instant connection with the husband Valeria picked for her, and didn't even question it when Valeria took their newborn children to raise herself. However, after Valeria was satisfied that Churro had produced a suitable selection of heirs, she disposed of Churro and her husband, giving them quick and merciful deaths.
35. Dill Charmcaster. After generations of female heirs, Valeria was estatic to have an eligible bachelor on her hands. When Dill was of marrying age, Valeria took him straight to the Magic Realm. Dill had his pick between all of the bachelorettes Valeria had arranged for him to meet, and he immediately made a connection with Mizuki Okamoto. Mizuki was an average spellcaster with average intelligence and above average looks, docile enough for Valeria to regard as "non-threatening" and friendly enough to get along with anyone. Dill and Mizuki thought they would have to put off their honeymoon as Mizuki immediately fell pregnant with triplets, but Valeria graciously offered to look after the children and sent them off on their honeymoon with a wave. Dill and his wife wouldn't get far.
36. Eclair Charmcaster. Eclair was a sweet girl, the only blonde in a set of (otherwise identical) triplets. She transitioned young, and has always loved Valeria. Not only was Valeria the only caregiver that Eclair had ever known, but she fully embraced Eclair's gender journey from the start. While she did well in school and was happy to do her share of the work, she had a rebellious side to her. Eclair simply adored rock music, and didn't really care for baking or running a store. Valeria struggled to find a suitable match for her amoung her male candidates, before Eclair revealed her gender preferences. Valeria playfully scolded her for letting her waste all that time looking for a husband instead of a wife, before finally setting her up with a lovely witch who was just starting university. The pair had a nice long life together, making many memories and taking their time to have children. Eventually they did have 4 beautiful children, who tragically never got the chance to meet their mothers.
37. Fignewton Charmcaster. Raised in separation from his siblings, and practically neglected by Valeria, Fignewton had no idea what sort of family he was part of. He didn't know that his life was planned out for him. He didn't know that he wouldn't get to choose his own spouse. And he couldn't predict the consequences of his torrid afair with a married woman.
When Valeria introduced Amaryllis Belladonna to her teen children and asked her to help teach them magic, she had no idea that the result would be a baby - not only born out of wedlock, but born to a woman in another marriage.
Betrayed and infuriated, Valeria demanded that Fignewton disavow the woman and resulting child, and immediately marry a candidate she had chosen for him. Fignewton was shocked, and even more horrified to discover Valeria's plan for the pregnant adultress.
Leaving the little shops and apartments ("Live-In Bakery") that had been home for 10 generations, Fignewton stole the family fortune and fled in the night. Though he ran immediately to Amaryllis, he didn't arrive soon enough. Valeria had already placed a curse on her. She escaped the confrontation, but it was too late. The curse had a hold of her, and it took her life shortly after she gave birth to a single son, Ghee.
Although initially Fignewton took custody of their child, he was eventually forced to abandon Ghee and go on the run, trying to escape Valeria's wrath.
38. Ghee Charmcaster. Alias "Ghee Smith". Ghee never knew his ancestor Valeria, and she never knew that the babe had lived. Abandoned as a toddler, recieving only a pittance each week from the stolen fortune, Ghee had to fend for himself.
Some toddlers are nightmares, but little Ghee was sweet as pie. His three favourite activities were reading, eating, and wandering about his neighbourhood. He loved talking to strangers, using his imagination, and talking with his best friends - his best friends being three stuffed toys that he happily chatted with for hours each day. But he had real friends too - he was good friends with Santa Claus, Death, and the ghost of his mother.
Despite his solitude, Ghee had a pretty great toddlerhood and aged up to childhood with skills and a well-rounded personality. His stuffed toys remained his closest friends for a while, but eventually his friendship circle expanded to include a talking toilet, and several real human children. Although he was popular and no longer lonely, Ghee still felt that emptiness when he saw his friends with their parents and families.
By his teen years Ghee had given up on his own parents returning, and decided to make his own family. He forged strong friendships, and helped care for younger orphans, sharing his survival skills freely in the hopes that others wouldn't suffer as he did.
Through the course of his life he took in many toddlers, children, and teens in need. Although he was a romantic at heart, Ghee focused all of his time and energy on his foster children and didn't date even as an adult. When his beloved pet dog passed away, Ghee found himself feeling like a lonely toddler again and began spiralling into depression. During this dark time, Ghee's old classmate Caiden returned from his work in Selvadorada and the two reconnected. Now adults, they found a spark between them that neither had expected. Ghee tried to ignore it and began avoiding Caiden, not believing himself worthy of love and happiness. Caiden eventually broke down that wall and convinced Ghee to seek therapy, and together the two worked through the issues which were preventing their love from blossoming.
Finally Ghee's heart found the unconditional love and support he had always yearned for, with his husband by his side he finally knew he would never be lonely again. Ghee and Caiden spent the rest of their lives in perfect contentment, they were deeply in love and soon welcomed a child who would never need doubt their parents' love.
As Ghee's face became etched with deep wrinkles, and Caiden's hair grew grey, Ghee sometimes felt a twinge of regret that he had never sought his father.
One evening, as though it was destined, Ghee was stirred by a knock at the door and came face to face with his father. Fignewton hadn't aged a day. His youthful face looked down at his elderly son, and his smile flickered. He had waited too long and returned too late. His precious son Ghee was an old man and Fignewton had missed his entire life. As Ghee and Fignewton embraced, Caiden roused their child from bed to come meet their grandfather. The small family sat around the fire until early morning, reconnecting and healing together.
As dawn broke, Ghee gave his father one last embrace. An embrace that said "I love you, and I forgive you. Thank you for coming back to me."
Ghee and Caiden passed away of old age in each other's arms, with peaceful souls and content hearts.
​
***Meanwhile... While Ghee lived his life, Fignewton sought his own immortality and spent decades hidden away researching. Constantly pushing aside his desire to reunite with his son, Fignewton laid a plan. He gathered resources, secured a hideaway safe from prying eyes, and finally set on his task to collect five children of Valeria's bloodline - The Child of the Universe, The Child of the Night, The Child of the Moon, The Child of Death, and The Child of Ancient Blood...\***
​
39. Halva Charmcaster. Halva was a child when his parents died, and his grandfather Fignewton took him in. Although it was strange being raised by a man who didn't age, that wasn't the strangest thing about this new household.
When Fignewton decided to take over the care of Halva, he whisked him away to a secretive hideout surrounded by all sorts of wards and traps, magical and non-magical. There Halva met Fignewton's other 4 protogees, a group of occult children and teens being raised for one grand purpose. To hunt down and defeat Valeria.
Halva enjoyed this life very much, forming strong bonds with the other children and Fignewton. Halva managed to balance his school studies with the rigorous magical training regime. By the end of Halva's teen years he was a masterful spellcaster, a talented strategist, and a skilled fighter.
Like Halva, the other children Peyote (Alien), Honey (Vampire), Hazel (Werewolf), and Jalapeno (Ghost) also mastered their unique abilities and the skills they would need for their fight against Valeria.
When Halva and his sweetheart parted before the battle, she bit her tongue and hid the news of the life growing inside of her, lest his resolve should falter. He gave her a ring, promising to return and live a long happy life together.
Could they defeat an immortal witch? The day was fast approaching when they would find out...
(The Battle Against Valeria is documented here: https://new.reddit.com/useHereToAdult/comments/1ce1w2b/sims_4_the_battle_against_valeria/ )

To be continued...

I’ve only had this game for like 3 weeks and done 3 serious attempts at a playthrough and already I’ve:
-Beaten the Pope in a crusade so badly that I sacked Rome and briefly imprisoned him
-Having my realm starting to break apart when I had a rly shit heir but then that shit heir gets murdered by the same vassals starting all the 50 million factions at exactly the right time and the guy who takes over ends up fixing everything
-Having to savescrub because I would’ve lost the game to the patriarchy (I’d forgotten that my grandpa had married me off patrilineally for alliance purposes a while back so by the time I took the throne, I was too old to have kids and all the ones I did have were from the wrong house)
-Having 10 lovers simultaneously, my wife using her intrigue skill to help me find more lovers is also an honorable mention
-One of my minority vassals rebelling against me for independence, getting absolutely curbstomped, me imprisoning her, revoking her title, and then forcing her to renounce her claims on release. Then a few years went by, I forgot who she was, and I see this woman among my courtiers with a somewhat low opinion of me but young and with high stats. We’re a polyamorous society where bastardry is an alien concept, so I seduce her, and then marry her when one of my older wives dies. I check her opinion modifiers when I get confused as to why it isn’t max and it turns out I’m literally boning and married to a former vassal who tried to rebel against me!
-Me accidentally doubling the size of my realm because I conquered a small duchy that was in the middle of a subjugation war against a much larger neighbor and winning because said neighbor was dealing with a bunch of revolts
-Murdering my younger brother as a child to reunite my great grandmother’s realm with the help of my motheeducatoregent/spymaster who hated me for the rest of her life for killing her son even though she literally helped me do it

Maxy’s squad dug in to fresh positions, the minthelians and Valyrrans working together. Their rifles were behind them, and instead they had shovels. Scarlett was back, but her arm was still not quite right. It twitched, and bucked, randomly throwing dirt around as she still got used to the bionic arm. With the work half done, the minthelians sat for a break in their half-dug positions, chatting in loose groups. Hazel sat with Scarlett, both thrown the pink cans of pink drink. Scarlett crushed hers accidentally as she tried to open it, both of them thrown another, as Hazel spotted Darwin.
“Fancy a break and a can of pink?” she called over to him, slightly drunk from her first can.
//////
Hope wandered into the storeroom, as a hand reached around her from behind. The man kissed her on the side of her neck, as she turned around.
“Hey, Nath. Doing anything tonight?”
“I’m afraid I have to go and find some naughty and extremely pretty minthelian who keeps sneaking out of her barracks. I think I’ll look for her in the shed behind the church. How about you?” Nathan Beckett replied.
“Well, I have to go and find a Tanbury man who has been sneaking around town seducing sweet innocent minthelian girls into acts of lustful sin,” she replied, playfully. Hope pulled the taller man in and down, and they kissed.
“See you later, Nath,”
//////
With the reassignment of forces, the guns at westbridge bridge were ordered back to the town itself to beef up the defences. After the previous accidents, they took no chances. Fourteen minthelians dragged the shields from the guns, and then the guns were pulled on their bases, hooked to one of lord Daug’s sentinels they had negotiated a load for in exchange for a case of ‘blue’, a very strong if sweet tasting alcoholic beverage. They called in the freshly repaired Taronian Valkyrie, and hitched the lines through it, past the side doors on the moving frame as it was dragged in, before the gunshield was hitched to it, and the guns moved singly to westbridge. A half dozen went in the Valkyries, and the rest of the thirty or so minthelians went on foot. They trapsed into westbridge, and many minthelians hugged their comrades, greeting them, and learning of deaths or injuries with sadness.
//////
Maquiphiel sat meditating in his chambers. There was a lot of fear of him as the leader. That was understandable. He reached out to his brothers through the town, merely over the vox.
“How fairs the town, brothers?” he asked. They reported in. Most was going well, but there were still some tensions, as expected. Without his marines, a defense would be near impossible. with them, it would be hard, but they could probably hold the inner town at least. He hoped they were not tested.
//////
One of the Thementhis girls had been asking too many questions. ‘Tauret’, ‘Nalwa’, and ‘Mesi’, really Lara, Stephanie and Klara and agents of the Tau, were overly conscious of the new girl, Safa, was getting too close to them. They had equipment for this, a vicious toxin that would cause a heart attack. It would look like a freak accident allergic reaction. The three women chatted to her, casually, revealing more of their fictional backstories as Nalwa went to the toilet. There, she sprinkled a fine powder on the woman’s toothbrush, returning to the room, the job well done.
//////
In the small officer’s mess, captain Rico sat with lieutenants Beaumont and Morris. The officers of his contingent. What the incident had been, he was not quite sure. But whatever it was, commissar Gardner had executed one of the Saunôit men, and then shot lieutenant Duchamps when he protested the action and questioned the commisar’s authority loudly and in front of the men. Now captain Rico needed to respond.
From the anger simmering on Morris’ face, he knew what the cadian wanted to do. But Elodie just looked empty.
//////
Commissar Mason was horrified at what her fellow commissar had done. She had said as much at the meeting of commissars, for Gardner to shout her down, decrying her as a weak, feeble excuse of a commissar.
“You couldn’t even shoot one if you wanted. You’re a pathetic waste of space. I have written to the commissariat to have you struck down. How on earth you passed training I don’t know.”
“I passed training and was accredited! You do not have the authority to challenge my actions.” Ruby shouted back. But somehow, her shouting seemed like a whiny child rather than a stern authority. Lord Commissar Pryce strode through the doors.
“Have you any,” he began, sternly as he coughed blood and fell to his knees. “Have you any evidence?” he repeated weaker.
“We have reports you tried to shoot one of the minthelians and didn’t go through with it. Come in.” Gardner said, and the minthelian was sent for. However, beside the scared private Tabby, lieutenant Sophy came in.
“Wait outside, Lieutenant!” Gardner ordered.
“I think not,” Sophy replied, cool as ice. “You wish to question Tabs, but I will be watching her. Commissar Gardner scowled but continued.
“Tell them what you told me.”
A panicked Tabby told her what she had been told, by Staisy. Ruby had tried to shoot her, but missed, and then not shot her again. Subsequently, Staisy had defected. This was a failure of Ruby’s duties. She would be stripped of her powers, sent to a tribunal and shot. Commissar Gardner pressed for the latter.
“No, that is madness.” Sophy objected. The commissar raised a bolt pistol to her head.
“Say that again, officer.” Gardner repeated, slowly.
“Stand down Gardner,” an ignored Pryce stated.
“I said, you will not shoot Staisy if you find her.” Sophy stared at the gun. Gardner pulled the trigger, but the officer was faster. She had somehow got his wrist and pointed his gun to the sky.
“I will kill you for that.” The commissar was deadly serious. He had heard the reports from the hospital.
“Not today.” Sophy replied. “We are leaving.”
Commissar Pryce recovered somewhat from his illness. “Leave her be.”
Gardner stormed out. His credibility undermined, he sent a priority Vox to inquisitor Rath, suggesting investigating the lieutenant.
//////
At that moment, Staisy was huddled, freezing to death, in the cold of the wilderness. She heard a roar of an engine. A warbiker roared past, the ork pulling up to her a few meters away. It snarled at the freezing girl, and cackled.
“Scared!” The ork sniggered. Staisy scrambled for her rifle, as the ork kicked it from her hands and lifted her by the neck. She struggled against him, but it was no use. She reached for a knife, and the ork grabbed her wrist, pressing it as the dagger dropped into the snow. She tried to pull the green fingers from her throat, but failed as the ork just grinned at her, another biker pulling up.
“Iz da Ummie ‘Eavy?” the second ork asked.
“Why, Ya git?” the first replied, a third approaching as Staisy desperately tried to breathe.
“letz see who can ‘Frow dem farthest.”
Staisy was not very heavy at all. A slight, light and short girl, they had given her the markswoman rifle as she was one of the weakest women in the regiment, and that was before they had volunteered here. She wished she hadn’t as she sailed through the air, gasping for breath before landing in the snow. She scrabbled to escape as the orks were on her again, grabbing her brown hair and pulling her back, before launching her back towards the first ork. She landed and wiped snow from her face. Her rifle was just there. She scrambled for it, diving to pick it up and rolling to face the orks. One was not paying attention, and only one had a gun he began to bring up. Staisy didn’t have time to aim, and shot the ork, it went down, a hole through its forehead. The first she had ever killed. She aimed again for the one rushing her, and hit three in the centre of its chest, the last one impaled on her bayonet as she fired a dozen shots into it at point blank range. She scrambled away through the snow, and over to their bikes. The engines were warm. and she sat shivering by them as she heated up and decided on a new plan of action. Poppy would protect her, Poppy was kind. She would make her way to Delta point, and say she got lost. Her lasguns sat across her knee. It felt comforting to hold again, as if it was sharing her emotions.
//////
The minthelians had rescinded the regulations concerning conduct, and Safa had taken full advantage of that. The local woman who had helped her with that lay beside her in the hammock, both alternating smoking one of the pink boxes the minthelians tended to use.
“I have to go to work,” the woman said, needing to freshen up before she could get back into her waitressing uniform and go back to the local eatery, which had been doing fine trade with the Guard in town.
“My toothbrush is the blue stripey one,” Safa said, watching as the pretty woman walked to the bathroom before going back to sleep. There was a dull thud of a body hitting the floor and she went to investigate, calling for aid. Sure enough, the inquest determined an allergic reaction was the cause of death, decided to be likely to the never-before consumed minthelian smokeboxes.
‘Tauret’ watched the investigation with curiosity. She would have to strike later, and more decisively. Likely one of the agents would have to be sacrificed.
//////
Batherston had gone to find captain Mary again, wanting her advice on the defenses to be prepared as the secondary line. As he entered her small quarters adapted from a grandmother’s flat on the ground floor of a small bedroom with single bed, small table, small cooker and big comfy chair, she sat in the wing back chair, a book on the floor as she snoozed in a long blue dress, evidently their formal, off duty uniform. Captain Mary was about the age his dear Charlotte would have been. She looked like her too, strong and fiery with the brushed back black hair, round face, and those peaceful eyes. He remembered that fateful day well. The courthouse aghast that a woman had entered, Charlotte challenging the judges when none of the men dared. This was wrong, and they all knew it. The judge had called order, and his court guard had drawn weapons. The Tanbury courthouse was a mess that day, but he remembered that moment clear as day. Charlotte had challenged the judge, and as she pushed his guard’s pistol aside, it went off. She had died in his arms as the room erupted in anger, outraged officer’s pistols discharged as the Tanbury rebellion began.
“Some might think staring at me sleeping was a bit creepy,” Mary’s voice said as he looked up with a start.
“I’m most terribly sorry, dear lady, I was lost in,” he began his excuse.
“Don’t worry, I saw the desk photo, I understand.” Mary left to get changed into uniform.
Maybe that was why he liked her, he reflected. She reminded him of Charlotte. He missed her terribly. Braver than he was. Enough to speak up when none other dared. She may be a symbol of the planet and a famous martyr, but she was still her dear Charlotte.

Thérèse

On her way to Ireland on her final trip, Sophie stopped at the maternity hospital to hold baby Baptiste the newborn child of her brother Bertrand and his wife Pascale. She spoke of her desire to have a baby girl of her own, who she would name Thérèse.¹ Sophie had spoken of this many times before. Thérèse was the name of her maternal grandmother. Sophie was the first grandchild in the Gazeau family and they doted on her. She had fond memories of childhood holidays in her grandmother’s house in Marvejols in Lozère. Sophie had hoped to become pregnant at the same time as Pascale, so the children could grow up together, but it hadn’t worked out.²
It's natural to want a child, but Sophie’s intense yearning for a baby girl, called Thérèse, seems unusual. Firstly, she declared that her child would be a girl and she would call her Thérèse and she planned to become pregnant at the same time as her sister in law so the children would grow up together. Why did she think she could control the child’s sex and timing of the pregnancy? Secondly it seems the father of the child wasn’t especially important to her. She wanted baby Thérèse so badly she tried with two different men, Bruno Carbonnet and Daniel Toscan du Plantier. She had chosen the name herself without any consideration of what the father would think. Thirdly Sophie told everyone about this plan. She kept a room in their house in Paris, telling people “This will be Thérèse’s room”. ³ This is something that most women would keep relatively private, and we know Sophie was by nature a private person. What drove her to tell everyone about this, when such a plan was so likely to fail?
This desire was not new, it had persisted for years. Daniel knew of it since they were married, six years previously. It was the reason Bruno gave why they broke up three years prior.
Here is an extract from Bruno's police interview on 17th January 1996: ⁴
Nos relations se sont détériorées au dernier voyage en IRLANDE car elle voulait avoir un enfant, d'ailleurs elle avait déjà choisi le prénom : Thérèse. Vu qu'il n'y avait pas d'enfant, elle n avait pas à choisir de prénom et j'ai trouvé ce comportement narcissique et seulement narcissique. J'ai appris qu'elle avait confié son enfant Pierre-Louis dès sa naissance à sa mère. De plus, je n'étais pas prêt pour avoir un enfant. Pour moi, il n'en était pas question vu nos relations.
Translated:
Our relations deteriorated during the last trip to IRELAND because she wanted to have a child, besides she had already chosen its name: Thérèse. Since there was no child, she did not have to choose a name and I found this behavior narcissistic and only narcissistic. I learned that she had handed off her son Pierre-Louis to her mother as soon as he was born. In addition, I wasn't ready to have a child. For me, it was out of the question given our relationship.
Bruno called Sophie's attitude narcissistic and maybe this is harsh, but it may have some truth. It was certainly unrealistic. One of the first things a parent learns is you don’t get to choose your child. Maybe the child will be a mini-me, or maybe he or she will be a tiny terror, you must deal with what you get. Since Sophie was already a parent, it is hard to comprehend why she didn’t understand this. Furthermore her home life at that time was completely unstable, she had all but broken up with Daniel, but remained his "official wife". Where was this child going to live? She had a three room apartment on Rue Rambuteau which was also her office, as well as a home to her 12 year old child. Bruno felt he was chosen as “seed” ². He said there was never any question of Sophie leaving her husband ⁴. Did she intend to continue living with Daniel in a kind of menage-à-trois? It’s not hard to see why Bruno did not agree to this arrangement. Even so, we must recognize this is only Bruno's version of the break-up, which could be a post-hoc rationalization. Others have spoken about the break-up being instigated by Sophie.
But she did return to Daniel and he says they were still trying for a child. There is evidence for this. In her diary she recorded her daily body temperature over several weeks in June and July 1996, marking some days with an ‘X’.⁵ This is a technique used to work out the ovulation time and the peak time to become pregnant. But three years later, Sophie was on the brink of 40, an age when female fertility declines precipitously. Her friend Alexandra Lewy said "Sophie’s only fear was her fortieth birthday." ¹⁰
But if she couldn’t have a baby with Daniel, or with Bruno, why not access fertility treatment?
In the 1990’s fertility treatments were rudimentary by comparison to today. It’s true, in-vitro was becoming available during the 1990’s, the numbers were small and it was not widely available. Perhaps the reason for this lies in France’s very restrictive laws on fertility treatments at the time. It would not have been possible to obtain a sperm donation without Daniel’s knowledge and he might not have wanted that. We should take note of the highly traditional mores in both her family and in Daniel’s, at least in public. Perhaps their relationship was such that bringing the subject up was awkward, and a short affair was a more appealing option. According to reports in the French Press their "open marriage was an open secret".⁷
Despite some occasional news reports that Sophie was pregnant at her death, there is no mention of this from any of her friends or in the post mortem report.⁶ Considering she was drinking wine, it seems unlikely. Opinions vary whether Daniel was supportive of this plan to have a baby or not.
After her death, he was keen to point to this desire for baby as a way to say their marriage was in one of "their happiest phases". But he also said that Sophie would never have an affair outside marriage, which is clearly contradicted by her history with Bruno. Daniel doesn’t mention Bruno in either of his statements. Opinions also vary how well her marriage was going. Daniel was having multiple affairs while married to Sophie and she knew about this according to Eric Gentil, his chauffeur.² When Sophie called at midnight French time, Daniel had to hang up and call her back, 15 minutes later. In his statement he said he was in a meeting with unspecified Unifrance associates.⁸ Who has business meetings at midnight on a Sunday? Why didn’t he say who he was with? His next wife Melita Nikolic, was a Unifrance associate. She was pregnant with Daniel's child, only weeks after Sophie’s death. "One must respond to death with life", he told the media.
So does this show Daniel also wanted to have a child with Sophie? I am not so sure. Sophie certainly wanted one, but it is not clear that Daniel did. By the time he died, he had 5 children but they somewhat incidental to his life if not accidental. His first son David was born 6 months after he married Marie Christine Barrault. His second child Ariane wrote they were constantly breaking up and she was the fruit of one of her parent's reconciliation dinners. "Children, neither his own or those of others did not evoke the slightest interest in him only embarrassment and hassle", she wrote. He married his second wife, Francesca Comencini when she was 3 months pregnant with Carlo, his third child. In 1997 he told his friend Jean François Boyer, "I have two sons, David and Carlo, and a daughter Ariane, but for me, to be a father, it's nothing" ¹¹
Essentially Daniel lived for cinema, and family was not important, he was selfish that way. Some were suspicious when he didn't come to identify his wife's body and bring her home but it is very unlikely he was involved in any way. It is better understood as another aspect of his selfishness even narcissism. He was quite clearly emotionally overwhelmed when it happened but he spent weeks wallowing in his own grief while others had to take care of the considerable complexities of repatriating the body, dealing with the police, funeral arrangements etc. His daughter wrote how she and her brother looked after him for months feeding him food, as well as copious sedatives and sleeping tablets. Then one day, they were suddenly dismissed, because he had met Melita.¹¹
We don't know if Daniel was seeing Melita before Sophie's death. Unfortunately Daniel was never interrogated by Police, his phone records were never checked even though the Gardai asked for this. He gave two written statements via his solicitor. Apart from Sophie’s friend Agnes Thomas, no Unifrance associates were interviewed. Daniel's marriage to Sophie lasted the longest of all of his marriages but he had a constant history of affairs so I find it difficult to believe their marriage was going that well and if so it is equally difficult to believe that Sophie would accept this situation quietly.
Various friends and family said that Sophie was an assertive and even domineering person, and becoming more so as she grew older. Daniel said "she was not in the habit of being walked on"⁸ Her friend Frederick More said she "gave the appearance of a domineering woman who feared no-one"² Her first husband Pierre Jean was asked about her state of mind: ⁹
QUESTION: Pourriez vous me décrire quel était son état d'esprit à ce moment là?
REPONSE: Elle était égale à elle même. J'ai la sensation qu'elle était devenue une femme dominatrice. Au fil des années, je me suis rendue compte qu'elle s'affirmait de plus en plus. Elle aimait séduire. Cela paraissait assez sadique de sa part. J'en avais parlé avec Mr TOSCAN, et notre conclusion était la même à ce sujet.
QUESTION: Could you describe to me what her state of mind was at that time?
ANSWER: She was her usual self. I have the feeling that she had become a dominating woman. Over the years, I realized that she was asserting herself more and more. She was once again very provocative. She liked to seduce. It seemed pretty sadistic of her. I have spoken about this with Mr TOSCAN, and we came to the same conclusion.
We must be careful with this quote, which sounds extraordinary to english speakers. We can't put this down to misunderstanding or misquoting because it is a direct quote from Pierre-Jean's police interview, which he signed. But although in French "seduire" can have the same meaning as in English it is often more nuanced. I read this as "charm" or "beguile", so what Pierre-Jean means is that Sophie used her charm and force of personality to get her way, perhaps with a hint of manipulation. All the same, given what Bruno said, we cannot entirely dismiss the sexual overtones.
Sophie knew what she wanted in life and used whatever means she could to get her way.
Given her desire for a baby, and her approaching 40th birthday, is it possible Sophie considered a relationship with someone else outside the marriage? According to Bruno, she had chosen him as the “seed” three years previously ², so could it be that she was seeking another affair?
If she herself was having an affair at the time of her murder, it’s not evident from her year-planner, and none of her friends knew about it. We can be reasonably confident Sophie was not in any other major relationship at the time of the murder apart from Daniel. But what about something more covert, would she have considered short term relationship, more “compartmentalized”, as Bruno described her life? ³ Daniel may have suspected she had affairs he was quoted "She liked to have lots of secret gardens - even after we married, I'm not sure I knew everything about her." ¹
A brief affair with someone distant from the family could have allowed her to get pregnant. She could have passed the child off as Daniel’s and everyone would be happy. The ideal man for this would be someone unknown in her circle, even better if it were someone in a different country. Sophie was thoroughly cosmopolitan, she knew people all over the world. In the year before she died she had visited Ireland, Italy, Poland, Switzerland, Mexico and the US.
Would she consider an Irish man? I doubt it. It's hard to imagine Sophie having a relationship with any local Irish person. The only relationships she had with Irish people was with her housekeeper, to employ handymen, talk with shop assistants and publicans. She wasn't a snob but she only socialised with people in her own social class, and especially native French speakers. According to several who knew her, Sophie did not like to engage in small talk and her English was good but not good enough for discussions on philosophy or literature. She talked with Yvonne & Tomi Ungerer, but they spoke fluent French, the same is true for Billy and Dermot O’Sullivan. But West Cork is relatively well stocked with expatriates, especially artists, the kind of person Sophie was drawn to.
It's not impossible but the evidence is lacking. She was meticulous in recording her contacts and phone numbers, even people she rarely if ever called. She copied the numbers from her agenda year to year. We have 1995,1996 & 1997. All the West Cork & Ireland phone numbers are listed in her agenda and there is nobody there who looks like a potential partner.
Sources:
(1) Irish Times 11/12/1999 "A Life Cut Short" Lara Marlowe
(2) Larousse, Michel Sophie Toscan du Plantier Enquête de personnalité 2009
https://www.reddit.com/DunmanusFiles/comments/1asbpih/sophie_life_and_personality_report_michel/
Part II
https://www.reddit.com/DunmanusFiles/comments/1asbrk9/sophie_life_and_personality_report_m_larousse/
(3) Daniel Toscan du Plantier quoted in The Sunday World 19/01/1997 "Sophie and my dad were planning to have a baby"
(4) Procès-verbal given to Police Judiciale by Bruno Carbonnet on 17/01/1997, French Dossier D064
(5) Victim's Agenda 1996, French Dossier D1183/148
(6) John Harbison, Post Mortem Report
https://www.reddit.com/DunmanusFiles/comments/1as8qk9/post_mortem_report/
(7) Sunday Independent 29/12/1996 "The lonely brutal end of an official wife" Stephen Dodd
(8) Statement of Daniel Toscan du Plantier Garda file number 134.
(9) Procès-verbal of Pierre-Jean BAUDEY 28/08/2008 French dossier D429
(10) Statement of Alexandra Lewy 03/01/1997 Garda file number 97
(11) Toscan, papa et moi, Ariane Toscan du Plantier

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/venti-menti. Se posted in AITAH
Trigger Warning: sexual harassment
Mood Spoiler: meh? Not the happiest but not the worst either?
Original Post: January 18, 2024
Hi there I am here to ask for advice and to make my husband see that I’m not the asshole (here’s hoping y’all can see where I’m coming from)
I (45f) live with my children (12f,12f,14m&15m), husband(46m) and mother in law (65f).
My mil moved in with us back in 2015 after my father in law passed because she was financially struggling. My mil is not easy to live with and we struggled immensely at the beginning but after a few years we found a way to cohabit.
Then recently(three months ago to be exact) my parents (68f,68m) house burned down and they moved in with us while everything is sorted out with insurance and so on. My boys are sharing a bedroom as my parents are currently staying in my eldest bedroom.
My mil has struggled with this and seems to hate my mother being around. My mother has done nothing to upset her or to disturb her. In fact my parents bedroom is on the other side of the house. She doesn’t however have problem with my father and always finds a way to hangout with him.
A few days ago while I was away for work a massive argument happened between my mother and mil. My mother had accused her of trying to seduce my father and there were some inappropriate texts sent to my father(my father immediately showed it to my mother and my mother responded as if she was my father to see how far mil would go and well she went far).
Well my mother confronted her and mil called the police (saying she felt threatened) who then escorted my parents out the house. This all happened while my husband was at work and the kids at school. My parents went to stay at a hotel and they explained what happened to me over the phone. When I returned I gave mil two weeks to move out. My husband thinks I’m escalating things and that I should forgive his mothers actions because she was lonely and confused. (FYI there is nothing wrong with her, she’s in good health)
So am I the asshole for wanting her out of our house and my life?
Edit (Same Post): January 19, 2024 (Next Day)
——FYI: To answer my husband has not seen the text and pictures his mother sent my father. The only reason he hasn’t seen it is because he refused to but I think I’ll have to insist because I need him to really understand how nasty she’s been.
Also I wanted to kick her out immediately but my husband begged me to give him two weeks so he could find a place for her. And my parents being the saint’s that they are said that I should give him that.
My husband has profusely apologized to my parents but my parents aren’t upset with us and hold only mil responsible as it was her disgusting actions that lead to this.
1- In the pictures she sent my father, mother in law wasn’t completely naked, she sent him lingerie pictures with suggestive poses and accompanied with lewd texts. Which is why my husband isn’t particularly interested in seeing them.
2- The police asked my parents to leave since my mil technically lives there. To avoid escalating the situation my parents decided to leave. The police officers did not file any charges and just left after a chat with everyone involved. There was zero violence and no one got hurt.
3- Mother in law moved in with us after she had lost almost everything. Father in law died after a long battle with cancer. Medical cost ate up pretty much most of their savings and she had to sell their house. This led her to spiral into a deep depression. My husband was very worried for his mother and for good reason as she was in a terrible state at the time. So we decided to move her in with us.
Relevant Comments:
Don't punish your husband because of this/will she be homeless:
I’m not punishing my husband for his mothers actions and she won’t be left homeless, as my husband is looking for an apartment/senior housing for her.
Did you get your parents back in the house?
I tried but my parents refuse to come to my house if that woman is there. I got them a real nice aairbnb that’s a few minutes away from me.
They are not upset with me or my husband they are just really shocked and disgusted.
In response to a now deleted comment (but it gives more details)
You completely made up a totally different situation. Mil repeatedly tried to get with my father, my father being oblivious thought she just wanted to hang out (never went anywhere alone so all the hanging was at the house) and since my father never engaged with her in any flirtatious manner my mil thought it would be best to be bold and direct. So she sent my father unsolicited, half naked lingerie pictures of herself with suggestive captions asking him to come visit her at night. My father saw the picture,texts and within seconds he yelled for my mother, who was sitting not too far from him.
My mother then took over the phone and replied if she was being serious and how should they hide it with my mother being so close. My mil then suggested they go to a hotel and meet there. That’s when my mother stopped texting and confronted my mil. Who then literally screamed and locked herself in the room while my mother ranted and raved at her. Then mil called the police saying my mother was making her feel unsafe. So the police then confirmed since my mil lived there technically that my parents had to leave. So to keep the peace and not further escalate tensions my parents left.
My mother in law has zero health issues she is in control of all her faculties. She just hoped my father had no loyalty, no respect or love for his wife and his daughter but unfortunately for her my father is a principled and fiercely loyal man!
She was just being a cunt.
There is no consensus bot on AITAH, but top comments were NTA
Update Post: February 15, 2024 (almost 1 month later)
I thought I’d give you all an update since several people have asked for one.
My mother in law is currently staying in a airbnb and since she is in no position to buy her own place my husband and I have decided we are buying a two to three bedroom place near us., that she can live in. The plan is for her to rent out the second room to her friend (who is currently going through a divorce).
I haven’t spoken to or seen my mil for three weeks now. My husband goes to see her once or twice a week as she is apparently severely depressed. She’s also upset with me for telling my husband’s entire family why she’s been kicked out of my house and they are all appalled with her. My husband has also gone off on her a few times for her behavior and he fully backs me in the decision to ban her from our home. The children know there has been a falling out with their grandmother and me and I suspect they know why, but they also know they can maintain their own relationship with her without it upsetting me. They miss her and have gone to visit her a few times with their father. There’s much I can say about my mother in law but one thing I can’t deny is her love for her grandchildren!
My husband still hasn’t looked at the messages his mother sent my father and honestly I can understand it because I too wouldn’t want to see anything sexual involving my mother. As for my husband and I we are both working on our relationship. Obviously during this period our relationship was strained but we are back on track. My husband has apologized to me several times for not putting his foot down with his mother earlier on and he is doing everything he can to mend our marriage.
This whole situation has made my parents and my husband’s relationship awkward but we are all slowly working on mending it. As for my parents house it will take another month or so before they can move back in. It’s currently a construction site and my parents are looking forward to redecorating it.
Relevant Comments:
On the house
"The house will be in my mine and my husband’s name."
"Initially I wasn’t in favor with us buying the house but my husband and I did work out that it would be cheaper then senior living and it would be a good investment for us. We looked at it and financially this would be the best option for us."
Why are you allowing her around your children? Because faaaaamily?
It’s not only because we are family but the fact that she has literally been a third parent to my children. She has spent a lot of time taking care of them, cooking their meals and sometimes even for me and my husband. She regularly drops them off at school and picks them up. She helps with their home work and regularly helped us run our household.
My children are close to her and they are at the age where they can maintain their own relationship with her without my interference.
Do you even like your own parents at all?
I love them and my parents are aware of everything. They have literally spoken to my children saying they don’t have to pick sides and to go visit her.

Hello everyone. I’ve never made a post before so apologies if my story telling is off.
Last year my siblings and I spent some time at my aunts house, we were super excited because we live far from our cousins and don’t get to see them often. The first half of the trip was great and everyone was getting along.
For some context, my aunt is a a crazy jealous and paranoid woman and she has a lot of rules for her husband, if he even stands near a woman she’ll go crazy; she has forced him to fire his secretaries without any indication that they are being flirtatious.
Anyways, my aunt began making many snide and random remarks about reputation and how my siblings and I need to be moral and pure because people talk. We just ignored her because she’s crazy so it’s nothing new. Towards the end of our trip, she takes me mother into a room and tells her that my sister has been trying to seduce her husband, her proof being that: 1) my sister looked at him while licking ice cream 2) my sister hugged my grandmother and used it as an oppertunity to stare at him 3) she walks very close to him 4) she initiates conversations with him.
My mother and grandmother told her she’s crazy and my sister is a child so her husband is an uncle to her, my aunt got offended and said she doesn’t appreciate being made out as crazy. She said she is extremely observant and has been watching my sister the entire trip and she knows what she saw.
My sister was sobbing and my aunt started shouting at her asking her how could she do this after everything she’s done for her(which is nothing by the way). The more my sister cried the more my aunt got angry. My sister was extremely offended and no longer spoke a word to our aunts husband; we decided to no longer stay in their house.
We are very close to our cousins so I’m wondering how to navigate this tension moving forward and continue to have a relationship with them. My mother and grandmother are telling my siblings and I to let this go and move on and accept this is just how my aunt is. Under no circumstance can we tell our cousins or our aunts husband, so I feel they’ve left us no choice but to pretend this never happened. I don’t want to see my aunt again but I think I have to if I want any relationship with my cousins.

Hello everyone. I’ve never made a post before so apologies if my story telling is off. Last year my siblings and I spent some time at my aunts house, we were super excited because we live far from our cousins and don’t get to see them often. The first half of the trip was great and everyone was getting along. For some context, my aunt is a a crazy jealous and paranoid woman and she has a lot of rules for her husband, if he even stands near a woman she’ll go crazy; she has forced him to fire his secretaries without any indication that they are being flirtatious. Anyways, my aunt began making many snide and random remarks about reputation and how my siblings and I need to be moral and pure because people talk. We just ignored her because she’s crazy so it’s nothing new. Towards the end of our trip, she takes me mother into a room and tells her that my sister has been trying to seduce her husband, her proof being that: 1) my sister looked at him while licking ice cream 2) my sister hugged my grandmother and used it as an oppertunity to stare at him 3) she walks very close to him 4) she initiates conversations with him. My mother and grandmother told her she’s crazy and my sister is a child so her husband is an uncle to her, my aunt got offended and said she doesn’t appreciate being made out as crazy. She said she is extremely observant and has been watching my sister the entire trip and she knows what she saw. My sister was sobbing and my aunt started shouting at her asking her how could she do this after everything she’s done for her(which is nothing by the way). The more my sister cried the more my aunt got angry. My sister was extremely offended and no longer spoke a word to our aunts husband; we decided to no longer stay in their house. We are very close to our cousins so I’m wondering how to navigate this tension moving forward and continue to have a relationship with them. My mother and grandmother are telling my siblings and I to let this go and move on and accept this is just how my aunt is. Under no circumstance can we tell our cousins or our aunts husband, so I feel they’ve left us no choice but to pretend this never happened.

Hello everyone. I’ve never made a post before so apologies if my story telling is off. Last year my siblings and I spent some time at my aunts house, we were super excited because we live far from our cousins and don’t get to see them often. The first half of the trip was great and everyone was getting along. For some context, my aunt is a a crazy jealous and paranoid woman and she has a lot of rules for her husband, if he even stands near a woman she’ll go crazy; she has forced him to fire his secretaries without any indication that they are being flirtatious. Anyways, my aunt began making many snide and random remarks about reputation and how my siblings and I need to be moral and pure because people talk. We just ignored her because she’s crazy so it’s nothing new. Towards the end of our trip, she takes me mother into a room and tells her that my sister has been trying to seduce her husband, her proof being that: 1) my sister looked at him while licking ice cream 2) my sister hugged my grandmother and used it as an oppertunity to stare at him 3) she walks very close to him 4) she initiates conversations with him. My mother and grandmother told her she’s crazy and my sister is a child so her husband is an uncle to her, my aunt got offended and said she doesn’t appreciate being made out as crazy. She said she is extremely observant and has been watching my sister the entire trip and she knows what she saw. My sister was sobbing and my aunt started shouting at her asking her how could she do this after everything she’s done for her(which is nothing by the way). The more my sister cried the more my aunt got angry. My sister was extremely offended and no longer spoke a word to our aunts husband; we decided to no longer stay in their house. We are very close to our cousins so I’m wondering how to navigate this tension moving forward and continue to have a relationship with them. My mother and grandmother are telling my siblings and I to let this go and move on and accept this is just how my aunt is. Under no circumstance can we tell our cousins or our aunts husband, so I feel they’ve left us no choice but to pretend this never happened.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/venti-menti posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 18th January 2024
Update - 15th February 2024
​
Am I the aita for wanting my mother in law to move out after she kicked out my parents?
​
Hi there I am here to ask for advice and to make my husband see that I’m not the asshole (here’s hoping y’all can see where I’m coming from)
I (45f) live with my children (12f,12f,14m&15m), husband(46m) and mother in law (65f).
My mil moved in with us back in 2015 after my father in law passed because she was financially struggling. My mil is not easy to live with and we struggled immensely at the beginning but after a few years we found a way to cohabit.
Then recently(three months ago to be exact) my parents (68f,68m) house burned down and they moved in with us while everything is sorted out with insurance and so on. My boys are sharing a bedroom as my parents are currently staying in my eldest bedroom.
My mil has struggled with this and seems to hate my mother being around. My mother has done nothing to upset her or to disturb her. In fact my parents bedroom is on the other side of the house. She doesn’t however have problem with my father and always finds a way to hangout with him.
A few days ago while I was away for work a massive argument happened between my mother and mil. My mother had accused her of trying to seduce my father and there were some inappropriate texts sent to my father(my father immediately showed it to my mother and my mother responded as if she was my father to see how far mil would go and well she went far).
Well my mother confronted her and mil called the police (saying she felt threatened) who then escorted my parents out the house. This all happened while my husband was at work and the kids at school. My parents went to stay at a hotel and they explained what happened to me over the phone. When I returned I gave mil two weeks to move out. My husband thinks I’m escalating things and that I should forgive his mothers actions because she was lonely and confused. (FYI there is nothing wrong with her, she’s in good health)
So am I the asshole for wanting her out of our house and my life?
——FYI: To answer my husband has not seen the text and pictures his mother sent my father. The only reason he hasn’t seen it is because he refused to but I think I’ll have to insist because I need him to really understand how nasty she’s been.
Also I wanted to kick her out immediately but my husband begged me to give him two weeks so he could find a place for her. And my parents being the saint’s that they are said that I should give him that.
My husband has profusely apologized to my parents but my parents aren’t upset with us and hold only mil responsible as it was her disgusting actions that lead to this.
1- In the pictures she sent my father, mother in law wasn’t completely naked, she sent him lingerie pictures with suggestive poses and accompanied with lewd texts. Which is why my husband isn’t particularly interested in seeing them.
2- The police asked my parents to leave since my mil technically lives there. To avoid escalating the situation my parents decided to leave. The police officers did not file any charges and just left after a chat with everyone involved. There was zero violence and no one got hurt.
3- Mother in law moved in with us after she had lost almost everything. Father in law died after a long battle with cancer. Medical cost ate up pretty much most of their savings and she had to sell their house. This led her to spiral into a deep depression. My husband was very worried for his mother and for good reason as she was in a terrible state at the time. So we decided to move her in with us.
​
Comments
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Salt-Lavishness-7560
MIL didn’t just kick OP’s parents out - she called the cops on them and had them removed from OP’s home. Which reeks of MIL now thinks she’s calling the shots in that house.
And if OP’s husband gets his way, she will.
I’m gobsmacked at the delusion of the husband - “she’s lonely.” Then go to bingo. Volunteer at the library. Joins garden club. There’s about a million ways an able bodied 65 year old woman can entertain herself and keep herself busy and engaged. One of those ways is to NOT put the moves on your DIL’s dad. Hell she initially moved in because of finances? Get a job.
She wasn’t confused about texting silver haired porn at that poor man. She wasn’t confused when she called the cops on them. She wasn’t confused when she presented herself as the legal occupant of the house and had them removed. She has been there for 8-9 years now? She thinks she’s got a position to call the shots in the home.
NTA. I honestly don’t know how she can stay after this stunt.
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theworldisonfire8377
NTA, she's confused by what, exactly? Who she is and isn't married to? Sounds like a cop-out excuse to me! She's 65, not 100, unless she suffers from dementia, she knew exactly what she was doing. What she did was completely inappropriate and your husband making excuses for her is also inappropriate. If he wants to coddle her so badly, he can move out with her so she's not so "lonely" and "confused".
​
**Judgement - NTA*\*
​
Update - 1 month later
​
I thought I’d give you all an update since several people have asked for one.
My mother in law is currently staying in a airbnb and since she is in no position to buy her own place my husband and I have decided we are buying a two to three bedroom place near us., that she can live in. The plan is for her to rent out the second room to her friend (who is currently going through a divorce).
I haven’t spoken to or seen my mil for three weeks now. My husband goes to see her once or twice a week as she is apparently severely depressed. She’s also upset with me for telling my husband’s entire family why she’s been kicked out of my house and they are all appalled with her. My husband has also gone off on her a few times for her behavior and he fully backs me in the decision to ban her from our home. The children know there has been a falling out with their grandmother and me and I suspect they know why, but they also know they can maintain their own relationship with her without it upsetting me. They miss her and have gone to visit her a few times with their father. There’s much I can say about my mother in law but one thing I can’t deny is her love for her grandchildren!
My husband still hasn’t looked at the messages his mother sent my father and honestly I can understand it because I too wouldn’t want to see anything sexual involving my mother. As for my husband and I we are both working on our relationship. Obviously during this period our relationship was strained but we are back on track. My husband has apologized to me several times for not putting his foot down with his mother earlier on and he is doing everything he can to mend our marriage.
This whole situation has made my parents and my husband’s relationship awkward but we are all slowly working on mending it. As for my parents house it will take another month or so before they can move back in. It’s currently a construction site and my parents are looking forward to redecorating it.
​
Comments
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Thrwwy747
I'm so relieved that you've gotten that woman out of your house. I'm less thrilled that her shitty behaviour has bought her a 2 to 3 bedroomed home, but it is what it is. All the best to you.
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Dlraetz1
Advice I would give anyone. Make sure the house is in your husband and your name, not you MIL’s. That way she can’t will it to someone else

OOP: The house will be in my mine and my husband’s name.

Dlraetz1
What about yours. I know I sound Reddit paranoid but I’d want my name on the deed

OOP: Yes both of us!

​
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.

I (19f) recently cut off my family for taking my aunts side. Let’s call my aunt meggy I went over for drinks at my grandmothers house Meggy wanted to pimp me out for cash She said how I have big boobs and I should use it to my advantage and I can make quick cash and she knows a guy that he’ll take care of me and give me drugs if I become his woman I should state I’m a recovering she gave her friend and her man my number (I had to change my number) she was trying to have me sleep between several men for drugs and money
I told her no and that I had a boyfriend (whom was on call the whole time as I was waiting for my mom to pick me up she was picking my stepdad up from work it was gonna be 30 minutes )
meggy started groping on me stating how my boobs are bigger than hers and I could make double the money meggy tells her boyfriend how I have my boobs tatted and if he wanted to see I shut that down completely saying I was not comfortable showing anyone other than my boyfriend he shuts me down just as fast saying how we’re family my aunt starts pulling my down so he can see my boobs and she says how he’s a good guy he’s not a pervert that he’ll take care of me too
He groped my boobs on accident he claims I grab my stuff and run to the bathroom. I’m in hysterics blowing my mom up to pick me up I couldn’t walk home it was a 40 minute walk and my grandma doesn’t exactly live in the best neighborhood. Where is she at in all this? Getting drunk off her ass. Fast forward to where my mom picks me up she gets out the car and cusses them all out stating she will have a talk with them while they’re sober.
About a week later my family all sides with my aunt blaming me for wearing something that makes my boobs look big and how is it that every time one of their husbands or boyfriends are around me they can’t control themselves around me. They blamed me , my father took their side probably because he used to sleep with my aunt.
I recently ran into my aunt at the store while I was out shopping with my cousin she demanded to know why I took the family off Facebook and asked if it’s because of meggy. I ignored her and left now I’m being blown up by my family how I’m selfish for cutting them off and how meggys having a hard time. My family is calling me a liar and is even bringing up my sa (also by family member) saying I’m probably lying about that too so I can get closer to the men in my family. They’re all shaming me online and saying shit to my cousins when they do hang out with me my grandma is also calling me a liar saying how meggys boyfriend didn’t touch me nor did Meggy pull my shirt down . I know this isn’t my fault but I can’t help but blame myself for this. The whole family’s turned upside down. My mom cut everyone off she told me it’s okay and she’ll always choose her kid but I can’t help but feel like the asshole and it’s my fault when she cry’s im unsure of what to do
They also want me to apologize for cutting them off and we can go back to “normal” and to apologize for seducing my aunts boyfriend