Hello, I'm a 23-year-old male in his 4th year of college and will soon graduate in the next three months. I'm writing this entry because my life for the past four years has been that of repeated cycles and familiar shame. On the outside, people see me as a pretty social guy who is active and has it all together. But on the inside, I feel like a mess.
I often experience periods in which I go through the same cycles. In these past years, however, I've picked up on more journaling, meditation, camping, and even have had therapy for short periods. All of these have been super helpful in helping me understand myself better and deal with daily problems. However, I feel like I return to the same cycle. I've come to realize that I carry with me a lot more shame and guilt than I expected.
T This cycle involved making some changes at the start, slowly falling off, and being disappointed that I fell off. It was almost like I knew this was going to happen, and I would repeat the process, saying, "This will be the time I actually change."
For context, I have a condition called auditory processing disorder, a hearing condition that can take on many forms. My issue at a young age was confusing sounds from each other. For example, my brain thought the letters R and L sounded identical. This led to me not being able to speak/utter a pronounceable word until I was 5, and I had to go to hearing therapy for nine years to learn how to speak correctly. I have a speech inducement now, but for the most part, I sound standard except for sometimes messing up. Either way, this has always made me feel self-conscious and inferior to others, especially when they would laugh or make fun of how I spoke. I've gotten over it for the most part, but it still annoys me. Hence, I carry a lot of shame with me.
I felt like my shame had only evolved more throughout the years with my body, my sexuality, my social standing, my habits, etc. For a while, I was a self-improvement junkie wanting to constantly be better for others, even if it meant sacrificing things I liked or was interested in for other people. For my body, it meant skipping meals so that my six-pack could be available; my sexuality meant not being curvy or big girls from fear of what others might think of me.
I have a hard time accepting myself for who I am, and pretty much every time I've tried to change my life has been out of shame. Very rarely has it been out of self-love or care, and it feels gratifying and right when I do make a change on that front. However, when it comes to things I would like to change, like my porn use, time management, and overcoming fears, I feel like that desire for change stems from shame. I don't know how to stop the cycles from repeating and how to build self-compassion/love properly. I would appreciate any advice or personal stories anyone has.

Hello, I'm a 23-year-old male in his 4th year of college and will soon graduate in the next three months. I'm writing this entry because my life for the past four years has been that of repeated cycles and familiar shame. On the outside, people see me as a pretty social guy who is active and has it all together. But on the inside, I feel like a mess.
I often experience periods in which I go through the same cycles. In these past years, however, I've picked up on more journaling, meditation, psychedelics, camping, and even have had therapy for short periods. All of these have been super helpful in helping me understand myself better and deal with daily problems. However, I feel like I return to the same cycle. I've come to realize that I carry with me a lot more shame and guilt than I expected.
T This cycle involved making some changes at the start, slowly falling off, and being disappointed that I fell off. It was almost like I knew this was going to happen, and I would repeat the process, saying, "This will be the time I actually change."
For context, I have a condition called auditory processing disorder, a hearing condition that can take on many forms. My issue at a young age was confusing sounds from each other. For example, my brain thought the letters R and L sounded identical. This led to me not being able to speak/utter a pronounceable word until I was 5, and I had to go to hearing therapy for nine years to learn how to speak correctly. I have a speech inducement now, but for the most part, I sound standard except for sometimes messing up. Either way, this has always made me feel self-conscious and inferior to others, especially when they would laugh or make fun of how I spoke. I've gotten over it for the most part, but it still annoys me. Hence, I carry a lot of shame with me.
I felt like my shame had only evolved more throughout the years with my body, my sexuality, my social standing, my habits, etc. For a while, I was a self-improvement junkie wanting to constantly be better for others, even if it meant sacrificing things I liked or was interested in for other people. For my body, it meant skipping meals so that my six-pack could be available; my sexuality meant not being curvy or big girls from fear of what others might think of me.
I have a hard time accepting myself for who I am, and pretty much every time I've tried to change my life has been out of shame. Very rarely has it been out of self-love or care, and it feels gratifying and right when I do make a change on that front. However, when it comes to things I would like to change, like my porn use, time management, and overcoming fears, I feel like that desire for change stems from shame. I don't know how to stop the cycles from repeating and how to build self-compassion/love properly. I would appreciate any advice or personal stories anyone has.

Hello, I'm a 23-year-old male in his 4th year of college and will soon graduate in the next three months. I'm writing this entry because my life for the past four years has been that of repeated cycles and familiar shame. On the outside, people see me as a pretty social guy who is active and has it all together. But on the inside, I feel like a mess.
I often experience periods in which I go through the same cycles. In these past years, however, I've picked up on more journaling, meditation, psychedelics, camping, and even have had therapy for short periods. All of these have been super helpful in helping me understand myself better and deal with daily problems. However, I feel like I return to the same cycle. I've come to realize that I carry with me a lot more shame and guilt than I expected.
T This cycle involved making some changes at the start, slowly falling off, and being disappointed that I fell off. It was almost like I knew this was going to happen, and I would repeat the process, saying, "This will be the time I actually change."
For context, I have a condition called auditory processing disorder, a hearing condition that can take on many forms. My issue at a young age was confusing sounds from each other. For example, my brain thought the letters R and L sounded identical. This led to me not being able to speak/utter a pronounceable word until I was 5, and I had to go to hearing therapy for nine years to learn how to speak correctly. I have a speech inducement now, but for the most part, I sound standard except for sometimes messing up. Either way, this has always made me feel self-conscious and inferior to others, especially when they would laugh or make fun of how I spoke. I've gotten over it for the most part, but it still annoys me. Hence, I carry a lot of shame with me.
I felt like my shame had only evolved more throughout the years with my body, my sexuality, my social standing, my habits, etc. For a while, I was a self-improvement junkie wanting to constantly be better for others, even if it meant sacrificing things I liked or was interested in for other people. For my body, it meant skipping meals so that my six-pack could be available; my sexuality meant not being curvy or big girls from fear of what others might think of me.
I have a hard time accepting myself for who I am, and pretty much every time I've tried to change my life has been out of shame. Very rarely has it been out of self-love or care, and it feels gratifying and right when I do make a change on that front. However, when it comes to things I would like to change, like my porn use, time management, and overcoming fears, I feel like that desire for change stems from shame. I don't know how to stop the cycles from repeating and how to build self-compassion/love properly. I would appreciate any advice or personal stories anyone has.

(I’m following my swashbuckler main. Somethings are different but I stick mostly to the main storyline. And yes there will be several different, truthful idk how long this will be)
Dear Luna,

I wanted to update you on how everything is going in Mooshu and the restoration. The emperor had woken up because of some wizard, so me and Subodai have been helping him catch up on what's been happening. It’s been an interesting couple of months if i have to say so. I do miss everyone, but we all did agree on these assignments but do hope we can come together again soon. Sincerely, Sarah 

Luna read the note by Sarah, one of her closest friends and crew members. She, like everyone on the crew, felt the same way about being separated, but all understood the purpose of this separation. Bonnie and Jack went to Marleybone; Sarah, Monkey King, and Subodai went to Mooshu; Herself, El toro and Sally stayed within skull island with the couple bouncing back and forth to Cool Ranch. The rest of the crew spread across the spiral helping with the reconstruction after the armada.
Signing, Luna leaned back in her seat and looked towards the pictures she had on her desk. One was the picture of Marco Pollo’s crew that they found in Captain Blood's cave. Another was of her friends back in Grizzleheim, and the last one was of her, Sarah, Subodai, Jack and Bonnie. Picking up the photo she started to remember when it was taken.
(Flashback)
“You guys can’t possibly think that can be an okay thing to do to him, right.”
Luna with her small crew sat in the cellar of the tavern in skull island. It was only a few after they saved Ratbeard from the water moles. A decision that has caused some of her crew (particularly Sarah and Subodai) to grow creative threats towards him. The most recent one was to take a very brutal excitation method from her homeworld and use it on him. Granted they probably only saw it within books, she still didn't understand how they thought it would be ok.
“Even still, he needs to know we won't be putting up with him, especially after what he did to his own crew. I mean killing them just to have everything to himself. That could've been me in there if he hadn't taken the will when he did.”
Sarah was right afterall, she could have been a part of that. Looking around the crew nodded in agreement to what she had said. Shaking her head Luna decided to drop the subject. Turning to Jack this was the first time in hours that she was able to find out about who her parents truly were.
“Hey Jack? Can you possibly tell me what my parents were like? Your guys travels? Anything really.”
Her voice came out more meek than she had liked, making her sound like a child that was asking permission for something. Bonnie and Sarah turned their full attention to Jack, while Subodai leaned back and closed his eyes. She could tell if he was doing it to be able to envision what Jack was saying or if he just didn't care too much (she asked him a month after this, it was to envision it). Jack turned to her with a smile, took a swig of his yum and leaned back.
“I don't even know where to start for you. I joined the crew when I was around 20 (I like to think our parents were in their mid 20’s when they had us) and your parents were about 22. I grew up with your father in Marleybone. He was always headstrong, knew what he wanted, but was always willing to help others. When we were around 16 that's when we first met your mother. It was shortly after she left darkmoor and all three of us just clicked together. After we hit 18 your mother went off on her own for about four months, and came back as a different person. I don't know what she did, where she went or what happened. However, that's when your parents decided to create a crew. We knew people who wanted to leave, and who had the experience. At the time I wasn't ready, so I told them to give me about a year and to come back to get me.”
Jack took a break for a second to take a drink and eat some food. Looking around, Sarah and Bonnie were so interested they ended up leaning on their arms to be comfortable. Honestly Luna was also in that position. Subodai was in the same position but with a small smile.
“I can’t tell you how many places we’ve gone to. We went to Grizzleheim to see Siv, Cool Ranch, Mooshu, Zafara which was actually really nice, and Krokotopia for a short time. I do remember that Jenny wrote journals for every world we've gone to. If we are able to find them then you'll be able to learn more about them personally then I do.”
Luna knew about her mother’s journals, Siv would talk about them consistently but she never knew where she put them. At that point Ratbeard came down into the Cellar holding a camera with a goofy smile.
“Where in the world did you get that thing?”
Bonnie asked him, having an idea of his answer.
“I stole it. Hey, don't give me that look, we're pirates. We steal, that's what we do for a living. Now, get together so I can mess with this thing.”
Looking at each other the five of us leaned in for him to take a picture of us. Held it up to his face, counted, then there was a flash. Within seconds was the picture of the five of them huddled together smiling.
(End of flashback)
The memory slowly faded as she held the picture within her hands. Back then it wasn't as stressful as it is now. The crew was small meaning she only had to worry about a handful of people, we didn't know about the armada, they didn't have as many enemies. However, now they have to worry about the people who are after them simply because of the map pieces.
A knock on the door disrupted her thoughts.
“Captain, something came up and I think you should hear this personally. Me and Toro will be waiting by the schools next to the person that needs to talk to you.”
“Thank you Sally, I’ll be there shortly.”
Luna set the picture back on her desk, opened up the top drawer of the desk and put Sarah’s recent letter in it. Smiling at the amount that she had and remembering everyone she slowly closed it. Getting up she grabbed her weapons, put on her coat and hat, and headed out to where her two crew members were waiting.

Hello, I'm a 23-year-old male in his 4th year of college and will soon graduate in the next three months. I'm writing this entry because my life for the past four years has been that of repeated cycles and familiar shame. On the outside, people see me as a pretty social guy who is active and has it all together. But on the inside, I feel like a mess.
I often experience periods in which I go through the same cycles. In these past years, however, I've picked up on more journaling, meditation, psychedelics, camping, and even have had therapy for short periods. All of these have been super helpful in helping me understand myself better and deal with daily problems. However, I feel like I return to the same cycle. I've come to realize that I carry with me a lot more shame and guilt than I expected.
T This cycle involved making some changes at the start, slowly falling off, and being disappointed that I fell off. It was almost like I knew this was going to happen, and I would repeat the process, saying, "This will be the time I actually change."
For context, I have a condition called auditory processing disorder, a hearing condition that can take on many forms. My issue at a young age was confusing sounds from each other. For example, my brain thought the letters R and L sounded identical. This led to me not being able to speak/utter a pronounceable word until I was 5, and I had to go to hearing therapy for nine years to learn how to speak correctly. I have a speech inducement now, but for the most part, I sound standard except for sometimes messing up. Either way, this has always made me feel self-conscious and inferior to others, especially when they would laugh or make fun of how I spoke. I've gotten over it for the most part, but it still annoys me. Hence, I carry a lot of shame with me.
I felt like my shame had only evolved more throughout the years with my body, my sexuality, my social standing, my habits, etc. For a while, I was a self-improvement junkie wanting to constantly be better for others, even if it meant sacrificing things I liked or was interested in for other people. For my body, it meant skipping meals so that my six-pack could be available; my sexuality meant not being curvy or big girls from fear of what others might think of me.
I have a hard time accepting myself for who I am, and pretty much every time I've tried to change my life has been out of shame. Very rarely has it been out of self-love or care, and it feels gratifying and right when I do make a change on that front. However, when it comes to things I would like to change, like my porn use, time management, and overcoming fears, I feel like that desire for change stems from shame. I don't know how to stop the cycles from repeating and how to build self-compassion/love properly. I would appreciate any advice or personal stories anyone has.

Hello, I'm a 23-year-old male in his 4th year of college and will soon graduate in the next three months. I'm writing this entry because my life for the past four years has been that of repeated cycles and familiar shame. On the outside, people see me as a pretty social guy who is active and has it all together. But on the inside, I feel like a mess.
I often experience periods in which I go through the same cycles. In these past years, however, I've picked up on more journaling, meditation, psychedelics, camping, and even have had therapy for short periods. All of these have been super helpful in helping me understand myself better and deal with daily problems. However, I feel like I return to the same cycle. I've come to realize that I carry with me a lot more shame and guilt than I expected.
T This cycle involved making some changes at the start, slowly falling off, and being disappointed that I fell off. It was almost like I knew this was going to happen, and I would repeat the process, saying, "This will be the time I actually change."
For context, I have a condition called auditory processing disorder, a hearing condition that can take on many forms. My issue at a young age was confusing sounds from each other. For example, my brain thought the letters R and L sounded identical. This led to me not being able to speak/utter a pronounceable word until I was 5, and I had to go to hearing therapy for nine years to learn how to speak correctly. I have a speech inducement now, but for the most part, I sound standard except for sometimes messing up. Either way, this has always made me feel self-conscious and inferior to others, especially when they would laugh or make fun of how I spoke. I've gotten over it for the most part, but it still annoys me. Hence, I carry a lot of shame with me.
I felt like my shame had only evolved more throughout the years with my body, my sexuality, my social standing, my habits, etc. For a while, I was a self-improvement junkie wanting to constantly be better for others, even if it meant sacrificing things I liked or was interested in for other people. For my body, it meant skipping meals so that my six-pack could be available; my sexuality meant not being curvy or big girls from fear of what others might think of me.
I have a hard time accepting myself for who I am, and pretty much every time I've tried to change my life has been out of shame. Very rarely has it been out of self-love or care, and it feels gratifying and right when I do make a change on that front. However, when it comes to things I would like to change, like my porn use, time management, and overcoming fears, I feel like that desire for change stems from shame. I don't know how to stop the cycles from repeating and how to build self-compassion/love properly. I would appreciate any advice or personal stories anyone has.

I know this should be something that shouldn't only just starting to happen but honestly, given everything going on lately, I'm going to consider it a small win for us.
As we know, screenings usually are tied to one's sex marker and totally disregards the existence of trans people, meaning you may get an invite for a screening relating to a part of your body you don't have and might not be invited for one relating to a part you do have. If you want to be screened, you pretty much had to accept you'll get the wrong invites, keep on top of which you do want/need and when you need it, and make sure you get yourself booked in for them...
With this new change, we should be able to receive the right invitations for you automatically and these can be updated at any time. You can, as well, choose not to receive screening invitations that do pertain to you if you understand the risks of doing so. I myself have done this; I have requested not to be invited for chest screenings as I'm post-top and while I know there's still a chance I could get cancer, my top surgeon two-birds-one-stone'd me and so my risk is very low. I know being invited for one would set off my dysphoria and PTSD like crazy.
Hopefully this means our rates of getting missed goes down and plus, it's just nice to have a bit more personal autonomy and one less thing we're left to sort out ourselves.
TL;DR - what screenings you'll be invited for should finally start to be decided by yourself and where you're at in your medical transition, rather than your medical record's sex marker. This should be the case regardless of whether or not you've been issued a new NHS number.

Me(F20s) and my friend of almost 6 years(M20s) have been on and off seeing each other. We were mostly a situationship. He wanted me, but I didn’t want him back. Besides all of this I thought he was a decent guy. I don’t talk to any men, so if I do I think they are worth some of my time. Anyway he wasn’t. Fast forward to a few months ago when I left him and blocked him. Cut to a few days ago I find out he is the one who has been requesting ai naked pictures of me, and requesting tons of men to send d pics to my phone number and Snapchat. I confronted him in person at his job, and tried to get him to explain. All he had to say was “I’m fucked in the head” “you hurt me”. I truly hope he stops. Can anyone offer insight to why men think revenge porn makes things better? Him doing this means he completely disregards me as a girl and a person.

Disclaimer:This is a part 2 to my story. Here is part 1:https://www.reddit.com/Crushes/comments/1cr3c21/my_mom_found_my_love_lette.
I met my crush when I was in high-school. I was 13 and she was 14. When I set eyes on her, I knew that she was the one for me. Her reflective skin was like gold waiting to be rubbed and loved. Her luminous eyes were like marbles designed for gazers. Her hair was like a sari, but as soft as silk, waiting to infatuate onlookers who fall in its honey-sweet trap. An example of the above is me.
I decided to test my valour via generating and sending a love letter to her. Unfortunately, at the time, she just said 'Thanks', which had left me devastated. Moreso, I had to duplicate my letter while pooping out biryani I ate on Sunday, in the highschool toilet, since my mother had stolen my original letter. I thought I did the needful to destroy it. Unfortunately, it was all in vain, which caused my letter to be found by my father.
My father was about to beat me with his belt, which was the worst thing that could happen to a 16 year old Indian teenager. However, fortunately, somebody in uaeteenagers gave me advice, which I used. I dissembled my stories and weaved a lie that states that my friend dared me to give my crush a love letter, and that I was not in love with her, which persuaded my father that I was not in need of a thrasing.
I was relieved, and to make my amygdala, my insula, my insular cortex, and my periaqueductal gray even more elated, she had put a love letter in my bag that apologised for her lacklustre response towards me. She has requested a date that will be taking place tomorrow, and since my parents will be out, of the house, I saw eye to eye with her metaphorically, to ensure that we could literally see eye to eye with each other tomorrow.
I am currently, very elated by this, and am thrilled by a new experience that I will be experiencing. Until now, the only acquaintance with dates I had seen so far were in Hollywood pictures, which cater to a westenr audience, and therefore, until now, have led me to believe that us Indians cannot get dates due to our conservative nature. However, I was proven wrong, and will extract the moral of the impossible being possible from this memorable episode.

Disclaimer:This is part 2 to my story. Here is part 1:https://www.reddit.com/UAETeenagers/comments/1cr3fiq/my_mom_found_my_love_lette
I met my crush when I was in high-school. I was 13 and she was 14. When I set eyes on her, I knew that she was the one for me. Her reflective skin was like gold waiting to be rubbed and loved. Her luminous eyes were like marbles designed for gazers. Her hair was like a sari, but as soft as silk, waiting to infatuate onlookers who fall in its honey-sweet trap. An example of the above is me.
I decided to test my valour via generating and sending a love letter to her. Unfortunately, at the time, she just said 'Thanks', which had left me devastated. Moreso, I had to duplicate my letter while pooping out biryani I ate on Sunday, in the highschool toilet, since my mother had stolen my original letter. I thought I did the needful to destroy it. Unfortunately, it was all in vain, which caused my letter to be found by my father.
My father was about to beat me with his slippers, which was the worst thing that could happen to a 16 year old Indian teenager. However, somebody in this subReddit gave me advice, which I used. I dissembled my stories and weaved a lie that states that my friend dared me to give my crush a love letter, and that I was not in love with her, which persuaded my father that I was not in need of a thrasing.
I was relieved, and to make my amygdala, my insula, my insular cortex, and my periaqueductal gray even more elated, she had put a love letter in my bag that apologised for her lacklustre response towards me. She has requested a date that will be taking place tomorrow, and since my parents will be out, of the house, I saw eye to eye with her metaphorically, to ensure that we could literally see eye to eye with each other tomorrow.
I am currently, very elated by this, and am thrilled by a new experience that I will be experiencing. Until now, the only acquaintance with dates I had seen so far were in Hollywood pictures, which cater to a westenr audience, and therefore, until now, have led me to believe that us Indians cannot get dates due to our conservative nature. However, I was proven wrong, and will extract the moral of the impossible being possible from this memorable episode.

Last week it was announced to the entire company that they ran out of money and will stop operations this week. It was a surprise to the majority of us but it turns out that the leadership made some poor decisions that left us exposed financially. Additionally, the company moved locations and offered me relocation just over a year ago, a lot of my professional network is 2000+ miles away. The big kick in the rear was the fact that they are giving us next to no severance (2 weeks).
At the same time, my wife (33) is 40 weeks pregnant with our first child. I (33) was the breadwinner and my wife left her job when she got was in the 3rd trimester. The plan was for her to stay home for 4-6 months at first and look into part time jobs after that. My salary was enough to cover our basis . For the birth, the we went the midwife route, but that wasn't covered under insurance and we paid cash for it not to long ago.
Right now, we will have 22k in savings if I include my last paycheck. Below are what I already budget on a regular basis.

• Rent is 2300/mo. Lease through EOY
• Car: 630/mo - 2 cars, one paid off but much older, the other is 2 years old .
• Insurance: 240/mo - full coverage on the new car, basic on the other. Also includes renters insurance.
• Utilities 200-300/mo.
• Internet 80/mo.
• Gym: 40/mo - I do use this regularly and find it therapeutic.
• Food/Groceries/Household Items: 800-1000/mo (thats 125-150 on weekly food+ once per month 250-400 on costco food+household items) - I am a hobby chef and BBQ a lot , its for sure an area we can trim on.
• Subscriptions: ~40/mo - Youtube Premium and Amazon prime are the only subs we have, all media is consumed between those 2 platforms.
• I do have student loans but am currently getting them put on pause (500/mo)

So with things kept the same "as-is", its approx 4600/mo in expenses, or just shy of 5 months of expenses. I think I can trim my budget down to 4200/mo with just my food expense being scaled way back I can push it past the 5 month mark. I will qualify for unemployment, just unsure of how much yet, it looks like between 1700/2200mo if my research is correct. Until that is all in place though, I worry lol. I also know that we will have more expenses once the kid is born, but we do have a nice stash of diapers from family/friends. My overall plan is this:

• Update Resume (done) and Cover Letter (not done).
• Submit for unemployment.
• Enjoy the next 4 weeks with my recovering wife and new son, figure out how to be a father. Maybe some minor networking.
• Start to seriously look for work. I am assuming that it will take 2-4 months to do on this.
• Dont take the first job, take the right job. I have a semi-specialized focus (R&D) and would like to continue that trajectory. Changing industries will be a setback, but not the end of the world.
• Enjoy family time between look for work time.
• Keep this more streamlined lifestyle and bolster savings back up.

I know that I am nowhere near "desperate", I have seen some posts here that easily qualify as way more precarious than the situation I find myself in. I cannot ignore the fact that this all goes belly up if for some reason we were to have a medical issue or unexpected expense. I cannot ignore the stress/anxiety I have after moving across the country, about to have a kid any day now and then to lose your income. I welcome any and all feedback/experiences/ideas.

I need to preface this by saying that my mom is by far the worse parent between her and my dad. She became a stay-at-home mom when she had my brother, and by her own admission, she decided not to do anything with friends, maintain friendships, or create friendships for as long as my siblings and I were home (I'm the youngest). Around 2016, my mom just became so much worse than she'd ever been. I have happy memories of her from my childhood, but my high school years do not see her fondly. It was then that I realized she was emotionally abusive, and when I reached college, I started attending a non-SBC Baptist church and she told me to go to hell. For over a year, she constantly harped on me that I had lost my way and spit in God's face and then she made everything about her and that I hated her (true) and that I was spitting in her and my dad's face because I wanted to spend spring break with friends or stay in my college city that I loved for the summer.
One of the reasons I'm trying so hard to graduate early is so I have less time of being financially dependent on my parents. Right now, they're funding my education and living situation, and that is good. I appreciate that. However, they lord that over my head at all times. I started dating when I started grad school, and I posted a cute picture of my partner and me kissing, and my mom told me that I shouldn't go on a weekend trip with him anymore because "you know how men are, he'll want to sleep with you" and then told me that she saw that picture and was unable to sleep all night. She picks fights with me and got mad when I wanted to go with my partner to a museum that my family wouldn't appreciate bc it was "unsafe" to uber with another person in broad daylight. After a vacation, I was with my partner and his family, and my mom got mad at me for not driving home in rush hour when I had told her that I knew for a fact the route was actually safer at night. Then she told me that me and my partner didn't need to be joined at the hip and started criticizing him. She senses that she's losing control and I'm sick of her taking it out on me. It's not my fault that she didn't make a life for herself outside of her children.
She and my sister are big proponents of "family is the most important thing" but will refuse to acknowledge that family can be built. If I did the whole "the actual phrase is 'the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb'" my whole family would get really pissed. I care more about my close friends from undergrad and my partner. I like my siblings okay, and I would be a lot more receptive to a relationship with my dad if he were divorced from my mom.
Yesterday, I created a finsta because I like posting but I need there to be no pressure on receiving likes. My mom requested to follow it and at first, I allowed it, but it immediately made the finsta less fun, so I told her that parents are not supposed to follow finstas and even siblings don't always (my partner has three sisters, two of whom have a finsta — there's only one other sibling per finsta there). My mom got mad at this explanation, saying that instagram wasn't real, and then was mad again that I was like "then what does it matter?"
I know this doesn't sound like a big deal, but interactions with my mom are the only things that can immediately deflate me. My partner sees how I react whenever I get a text from her, and my entire demeanor changes. I have panic attacks sometimes when she texts me. I've muted her contact before. She acts like I'm dumb, and she doesn't respect my degree because I'm liberal (and not a conservative expert). I wanted something for myself where she couldn't touch it, and then she was pissed that she couldn't. And it's frustrating because I'm still on their insurance (which is good and I like it, admittedly) because I'm still at that age, and since my parents are traditional, they would pay for my wedding with my partner, and I would also appreciate that. But I know even that will be an issue because my partner and I are deadset on a no kids wedding and only inviting close friends and family. If I could cut off my mom and still have an okay relationship with my dad, I'd do it. But the people who have loved me better than my family ever has are my friends, my undergrad mentors, and my partner. I don't like my mom, and I don't love her. She is an obligation that I cannot wait to be free from.

I submitted my tax refund using Turbo Tax on 1/29, it was accepted by the IRS on 1/30.
On 3/11 I was sent a CP05 with no information.
On 3/25 I called and was blown off by the IRS customer service people with a 'There is a problem with your return, make sure everything is right, and amend your return if it isn't"
I waited some more, and finally I decided to try contacting my state senator on 4/24 after seeing some people have success with that.
The Senator's office requested a release form to be completed by me, and then reached out to the IRS on 4/25.
On 5/3 the Senator's office reached out and said there was an issue with a 1099R from my wife's previous employment, they requested a document showing all the numbers from the retirement company. We sent the requested documents that same day and the Senator's office kicked it back to the IRS.
Today 5/14 my transcript updated to show refund issued 5/17.
I live in an unpopulous state, and the Senator's office was excellent in their communications. If you've been waiting a while, reach out and give them a try. Just be warned some people have had zero luck with that. But, it worked for me. My wait was 105 days from accepted to refund issued.
On my return I had two w2s, and two 1099Rs, one federal (TSP) and the other with Aventis(?)
Good luck!
PS: I special ordered a new Subaru last year. I put in the order June 6th and it showed up at the dealer on Sept 1st. It took 87 days to build a car from scratch, stick it on a train, haul it halfway across the country, then stick it on a truck and drive it across a state. It takes less time for a car to be made from a pile of sheet metal than it does for the IRS to look at my return and see there was nothing wrong with the way I submitted it.

Hello community, I need some advice. I’m been living in an apartment complex for about a year in a half. In this time I’ve had what I would consider a lot of issues thus far. Here you go. 1. Roughly 2 months after moving in, I had a downstairs neighbor who would knock on the walls all day so hard my bed would shake (bed leans against the the wall). It felt like someone was kicking the wall with in. It continued for maybe another month until I decided to report to the office. I finally did and I was advised by office staff to go to the police. I chose to wait. A few days pass, it’s a Monday , holiday around 6pm and a man comes knocking on my door somewhat aggressively. When I open the door (which idk why I even did) , he tells me I need to keep it down. Mind you, I live alone and I was napping. I tell him this (again, so stupid of me I know) and he says “I don’t think so”, I then told him to report to the office and closed my door. Based on this I decided to report these to issues to police. About a week after I reported, the banging stopped and it hasn’t happened since. 2. I requested for maintenance because my toilet was making weird noises and kitchen sink was a little clogged (twice I threw dirty carpet water in the sink, my bad). So when submitting a maintenance request online you have two options in terms of entry to your home - allow entry or not allow entry. I opted for allowing entry because I wasn’t sure if I was going to be working from home that day. The day comes and it turns out I stayed home. While working I heard someone unlocking my door, my heart dropped and I ran to the door, in which I found the maintenance person opening my door. Quickly he states while pointing at a piece of paper “it says here I can come in”. I looked past it and thought maybe I didn’t hear him knocking, I showed where the issue was and he left (very rude interaction the whole time he is here by the way). I decided to look back at my cameras just out of curiosity because I hadn’t remembered hearing a knock. I look back at my cameras and it turns out he knocked once (not very loudly) and helped himself into my home EXACTLY 7 seconds after knocking. I thought to myself , why wouldn’t he give me more time to open the door? Right. I let it go. 3. It’s 7am , I was still asleep. I remember waking up because I heard my door being opened (specifically when the key was turning, it makes a really loud almost screech sound). Quickly I yelled “don’t come in!”. I put myself together and went to the door. It was the same maintenance person. He stated there was a flood in my bathroom. I quickly run into the bathroom and sure enough, the toilet is clogged and leaking. In the heat of the moment I look at this man straight the eye and tell him he needs to wait at least 60 seconds before he opens my door. He was clearly upset, looked around the bathroom, saw toilet paper rolls and said the issue was to do with too much toilet paper. Those rolls are not all from one day you know? I’m not sitting here throwing loads of toilet paper down my toilet. I used the plunger and mopped the floors and apparently that was good enough because he didn’t come back until later. The situation had really spooked me so I had left. So I look back at my cameras to see what happened. At 7am a different maintenance person (maintenance person 2) knocked on my door twice and both times I didn’t answer. He then calls someone on the phone. About roughly 20 minutes later the other maintenance person (initial maintenance person who helps himself to my home) shows up. He knocks quickly and opens my door not even 5 whole seconds after he knocks. And that’s when I hear it and essentially woke up. I filed a complaint with the office and their response was something like “we’ve told our maintenance people to allow more time before entry, and it’s because they get to their jobs quickly they may be working too fast” (if anyone is genuinely interested I can provide screenshots of the email messages). I did reiterate that it was not the maintenance TEAM but just one individual. In which they then stated they spoke with him individually as well. 4. Again, working from home and the CO2 alarm goes off. I call the office and I am told they will be submitting a ticket for this issue (Given that it was an alarm, I called in, I could have easily submitted a ticket myself but I figured this was an emergency so I called the office). She tells me she can’t give me an ETA because they have other tickets to get to as well. I call the fire non-emergency line just to make sure and I am told by the dispatcher the office staff’s response was unacceptable and they are sending over firefighters immediately. They show up, it turns out it was the battery. Okay. I call the office staff member to let her know what had happened and this lady has the audacity to tell me that she KNEW it was the battery which is why she didn’t escalate it. Mind you, information she never shared with me when i had called her frantically about an alarm going off in my home. 5. Last straw- this happened today and this is what I need feedback on .. or other resources. This morning I received an email from management, in which they stated they’ll be doing an inspection on all units next week. This complex is for BMR (below market rate) but honestly not even that much cheaper.. so it’s mandatory that they do this every year. In this notice, they mention we can no longer have doorbell cameras. I’ve been here for almost 2 years and never before has a doorbell camera been an issue. So why now?. So I asked, and I was told by management that we were never allowed to have doorbell cameras. Which I find odd because so many people have them so I know it’s something they missed and just recently noticed. I can’t help to think they are now enforcing this rule because I reported one of their own and the only reason they couldn’t get away from it was because I had that evidence. Also, I won’t be able to sleep the same without a camera, this is going to interfere with my everyday life more than they know. What can I do? And by enforcing this rule I mean they threatened to evict.

I filed for unemployment after being laid off several weeks ago, and am still in the period my severance will cover, so I'm not actually receiving benefits. I've now taken a contract gig that pays more than the unemployment benefits would, but is only part time. Is it worth me continuing to request benefits & doing the required job search activities, even though once my severance period is over I'll still be making too much money to receive benefits?

John 1:1 is hardly a Trinitarian proof text.
Various translation have the c part as “and the Word was a god.” Other translations have “and the Word was divine.”
A Contemporary English Translation of the Coptic Text. The Gospel of John, Chapter One (From 2nd/3rd century):

1In the beginning the Word existed. The Word existed in the presence of God, and the Word was a divine being. 2This one existed in the beginning with God.

Diaglot NT, 1865:

“In a beginning was the Word, and the Word was with the God, and a god was the Word.”

Harwood, 1768:

"and was himself a divine person"

Newcome, 1808:

"and the word was a god"

Thompson, 1829:

"the Logos was a god”

Robert Harvey, D.D., 1931:

"and the Logos was divine (a divine being)”

Greek Orthodox /Arabic translation, 1983:

"the word was with Allah [God] and the word was a god"

John J. McKenzie, S.J., in his Dictionary of the Bible, says: “John 1:1 should rigorously be translated ‘the word was with the God [= the Father], and the word was a divine being.’”—(Brackets are his.) New York, 1965), p. 317
“In John 1:1c, the Word is not the one-and-only God, but is a god, or divine being.”—Truth in Translation: Accuracy and Bias in English Translations of the New Testament, pages 115, 122, and 123.
Joseph Henry Thayer, a Unitarian scholar who worked on the American Standard Version says of John 1:1: “The Logos [or, Word] was divine, not the divine Being himself.”
Even Vine in his dictionary admits 'the literal translation is, 'a god was the Word'.
The Word, was in the presence of God. The Word was alongside of God, near to, in front of. John tells us, this divine being, came to the earth, this divine being, became flesh, for prior to this he was a spirit being. The Word, is a title, given to a specific being, and not God's speech or expressions… Jesus, the Word, the Logos, is not God.
However, even without arguing grammar, we can read from the same letter and see the frame of mind John had Jesus, the Word, in.
Notably John 1:18 says that “no man has seen God at any time.” This occurs many times and isn’t a one off idea. (Ex 33:20; John 6:46; 1 John 4:12)
If we read previously at John 1:14, we see that the Word became flesh. Jesus was clearly seen by many thousands of people. That easily concludes that Jesus is not God.
John 1:23, “I am a voice of someone crying out in the wilderness.” Jesus is quoting Isaiah 40:3. This isn’t a new idea, Malachi 3:1:

1Behold, I will send my messenger, and he shall prepare the way before me: and the Lord, whom ye seek, shall suddenly come to his temple, even the messenger of the covenant, whom ye delight in: behold, he shall come, saith [YHWH] of hosts.

There is the temple again, not Jesus physical body. But! Lord, whom ye seek. We see this distinction between God and Lord at 1 Cor 8:5-6:

5 For even though there are so-called gods, whether in heaven or on earth, just as there are many “gods” and many “lords,” 6 there is actually to us one God, the Father, from whom all things are and we for him; and there is one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things are and we through him. (KJV says the same)

So, John had the same mindset that Paul wrote about here. The Word was certainly not God, because we have seen Jesus. Jesus claims to be the messenger, the answerer of the ones crying out in the wilderness. John, nor Paul, thought Jesus was Almighty God, YHWH.

Hey yall! This is a weird one because after Chapter 3 dropped on Patreon I actually went back and dropped a new Chapter 1. So this "Chapter 4" is actually a new Chapter 1 (moving Chapters 1, 2, and 3 to the 2, 3, and 4 slots respectively) and later this week I'll release the true Chapter 5 to get us back on track!
Sorry for the confusion! Releasing novel chapters on Patreon is always wacky compared to a true serial haha.

MAJOR EDIT:

TURNS OUT WHEN I RELEASED 'CHAPTER 1' A COUPLE WEEKS AGO, THIS "NEW" CHAPTER 1 WAS WHAT I RELEASED. SO INSTEAD I'M GOING TO ALSO LINK YOU TO THE OLD CHAPTER 1, WHICH YOU GUYS NEVER SAW, I'M SORRY.
THIS OLD CHAPTER 1 IS THE TRUE CHAPTER 2. SO SORRY TO THE PUBLIC RELEASE READERS WHO READ CHAPTER 3 BEFORE CHAPTER 2 XD
*********
Hi all! A few rules & reminders:

1. To read the chapter, download the free PDF from the Wraithmarked Patreon post(s) here:
   1. NEW CHAPTER 1 (PREVIOUSLY RELEASED): https://www.patreon.com/posts/early-access-3-1-95111466
   2. OLD CHAPTER 1 (NOW CHAPTER 2. UNRELEASED): https://www.patreon.com/posts/92301055
2. ★ ABSOLUTELY NO STORMWEAVER III SPOILERS OUTSIDE THESE POSTS ★ (unless someone specifically requests them, in which case you can message them directly). Please respect the rights of those readers who do not want to read the book chapter by chapter! Any flaunting of this rule will be handled with prejudice. The quality of this community as a whole is much more important to me than your personal desire to show off that you know something other people don't. This includes comments like "No spoilers, but this is addressed in book III" and the like. Yes, that IS a spoiler in its own right.
3. Public Release chapters will release 10 chapters behind the Patreon release of Early Access chapters. Public Release chapters will likely release 24 to 72hrs after the Early Access chapters (that will most often be the Monday morning after the Friday Early Access drop), so the sub announcement posts for each have a chance to gain traction.
4. Recall that these are rough chapters, with no editing other than a single pass-through as I write.
5. On a similar note, I am not asking for advice or corrections at this time. Feel free to chat/criticize/disparage, but please DO NOT tag me. If I want feedback, I/Wraithmarked will certainly reach out, thank you!

I (24M) have had a friendship with this person (26F) for quite a few years now. We first met over Discord because she knew one of my other best friends at the time and that was that. Me and her very quickly became great friends. She's always lived in a different country, so hanging out and stuff has always been exclusively on Discord, or on other social media platforms. Over the course of our time knowing each other while I was in college, she sort of broke it off with another friend in our circle. Naturally, it caused some awkwardness and she left the Discord and stuff but me and our other friends still talked and hung out with her. Whatever problems she and our other friend had didn't mean that we all couldn't still be friends and go on like usual, ya know?
Well, cut to post-graduation, and me and her just don't meet up on Discord as much anymore. Sadly, no longer going to school means having a job and other responsibilities I didn't have prior, so things like staying/waking up at awkward hours to try and hang out online is a bit tough and also not very convenient. We talked about hanging out and I'd tell her that I'm really sorry and that it's not that I don't want to but it's not as easy anymore because of reasons stated above. She understood, or at least didn't make it seem otherwise.
She had this really weird habit during this time of blocking, or unfriending, me on social media for a duration of time. I'd chalk it up to her being in her feelings over something, and I'd just leave a friend request and, when she was ready, she could add me back. When this would happen, I'd ask her if I did something that just pissed her off. She'd say no, so whatever. I didn't push, and she typically was pretty straight-up with me so I just let it be.
This other instance, I was talking to her and another friend in a group chat and she just abruptly left and blocked me. I did nothing noteworthy. I was being a snarky asshole to her but we've always both been that way and that's just how we are. We like to get a rise out of each other. What irritates me isn't that she got mad, but the blocking shit is childish and just gives the impression that you don't even want to talk it out. It gives the impression that she has no problem casting me to the side over anything, and I don't think it's right that I should feel that way. But ya know, we moved past that instance and I let bygones be bygones.
Well, after enough times of this behavior and she recently did it again. Unfriended me on Discord and other places. We haven't interacted super heavily so I can't even figure what I could've done to cause it, but frankly I'm just at the point where I'm sort of done with it. I can understand that it may have hurt her a bit that I didn't hang as much and things were a bit different because that college era was over when we hung almost constantly. But such is life. Doesn't mean we can't still be intimate friends. It doesn't make me feel good to just be tired of a pretty long-time friend's bullshit, but it also doesn't feel good to constantly have her do this unfriend/blocking shit and having me feeling really critical of myself.

Nearly two months ago I met a guy at a friend’s house party. Everyone was drunk and both of us hardly talked. I vaguely remember what we talked about but mostly we were just bantering with each other. The next day I sent him a request on Instagram and he followed me back. A few days later I realised that I might have a crush on this guy but I hardly know anything about him.
I have always found the concept of having a crush stupid and lame. What is crush if not lack of information. To me he’s a blank canvas and in my mind I could give him all the characteristics that I might like in him hoping that he turns out the same way I picture him in my mind.
It’s been almost two months and I am finding it extremely difficult to get him off my mind. I am feeling so anxious and uneasy. The most common advice would be to ask him out but I am not sure about that because he’s 5 years older than me and during the party he made a joke about me being 22 because most of the people at that party were older. I don’t even know if he’s single and the few mutual friends we have are not close enough to me so that I could discuss my curiosity with them or confide in them about my interest in him. I am very lost and I am kinda embarrassed to share this with my friends because they would be very judgemental if they find out that I am so so obsessed with this guy I absolutely know nothing about. Thinking about him and us has taken up so much of my time and mental energy. Like a creep I have stalked him everywhere and this behaviour is very much not like me.
I need help with making a decision and end this misery for once and all!

I neglected to include this in my cycle recap, but hopefully some future applicants find this helpful. Obviously this is not a one-size-fits-all. https://www.lsd.law/users/creep/SquidwardsHouse
Resume
This will be controversial, but it ideally should be one-page. Harvard and Yale have made explicit their preference for such. I’d say if you’ve got less than 10 years of work experience, you almost certainly can and should fit it on one page. Be concise with your verbiage. Don’t piss the reader off with small fonts (definitely no less than size 11) or crammed wording. You don’t need to patronize the reader by describing in intricate detail what some common-sense things are.
LORs
Again, I believe less is generally more, continuing with my theme. If you can effectively cover ground with two letters when you can submit up to three or four, then choose 2. The only school I submitted 3 letters to was Yale, and that was because I was advised they wanted two academic letters and a military letter to speak to my five years in the Navy. Every other school I submitted one academic and one professional (military) letter.
Yale 250
I wrote about a humbling experience where essentially the main takeaway was that I didn’t need to have an opinion/express an opinion on everything. I hit on the same anecdote in every single one of my interviews, and I think it was well-received.
Harvard Statement of Purpose
-I opted for a different approach contrary to what many recommended. I did not use my traditional Personal Statement for this topic. Instead, I went with a much more direct 1-page statement addressing why I no longer wanted to pursue the JAG Corps in the military (since I’m a reapplicant from a few years ago), and how now I want to clerk, work in big law for a few years to gain experience, and then be a federal prosecutor. There was a lot of good interview fodder from this statement that Dean KJ took an interest in.
PS/HLS Statement of Perspective
My Personal Statement was very reflective in nature on my past failures and moments of growth, and how offering and accepting help is crucial to such growth. I felt this fit the prompt of Harvard’s Statement of Perspective much better for me, as stated above. For my personal statements for other schools, the only modification was I had a paragraph inserted about why I wanted to continue in public service as a federal prosecutor.
Why UVA
I made crystal clear how UVA was one of my top choices, and I think they appreciated that. I did not want to run the risk of appearing like I was coasting on stats, which often leads to people getting waitlisted or denied at UVA and similar schools. I talked about how Charlottesville mirrored my state school undergrad, and how I loved that being an island of blue in a sea of red on the political lap brings with it a perspective you can’t find easily most other places. I also discussed my goals of wanting to practice in the south after law school, which added to the authenticity in my view.
Character and Fitness
Just own it. Don’t shift the blame. Be as concise about what happened as possible and take ownership of it. I got fired as an RA for hosting a party with other RA’s in my dorm room. It was about 5 sentences in length.
Georgetown Top 10
As a huge Survivor fan, I made a detailed top 10 winners list.
Interview Advice
It’s okay to be nervous. I fucked up the intro to my Harvard interview by saying something like “I guess it’s nervous to be normal” and we laughed about it.
-My Yale interview started 8 minutes late because we had audio issues connecting. I was panicking on the inside from embarrassment, but tried not to let that show to my interviewer (who I could see on video still). The interview went great and we talked for twenty minutes past my allotted time.
-My other feedback is to give good thought as to Why X school and why law school in general. In my Harvard interview, I said something along the lines of "A lot of people grow up dreaming of coming to this school, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't one of them. Even more than that, though, the size of Harvard's class brings with it a diversity of backgrounds and thought that you can't find as easily anywhere else. I remember reading about conservative students in the past enjoying now-Senator Elizabeth Warren's classes when she taught here. That coupled with Harvard having the highest student veteran population of any school make it a natural fit."
-As for the Georgetown interview, I think a good rule of thumb is to be respectful of the other applicants’ time and answers. Try not to talk more than anyone else in the group interview, and try to pay attention to what people say to show you’re listening.
-Finally, (and maybe I’m old fashioned) I think it’s generally polite and professional to send a quick thank-you email to your interviewethe admissions inbox. Don’t expect a response, but I do think it’s a thoughtful touch.

First off, note that my story has a happy ending (thus far.) But, mine is a case where I almost didn't even call for advice, and I'm so glad I did. I just wanted to encourage any other (especially first-timers) who like me, hemmed and hawed about going in for observation and explain why I have zero regrets about actually going in. This will be stupidly long but I really want others to see a non-scary story to just go if you have any question at all! TL;DR at the end for those who want it.
I am 29+5 today, and yesterday had a super minor fall at work at the end of the day. As in, I went to sit down on my rolling stool, missed slightly, and landed on my butt. I have to emphasize, I thought it was really no big deal - I fell almost in slow motion, didn't hit my belly, and was MUCH more embarrassed than hurt.
My baby even kicked me right afterwards as if to say, "Geez, Ma, what are you doing out there?" No cramps, no gush of fluid, no bleeding, and he was moving just fine.
Still, I had read plenty of times on this sub reddit, my baby books, and other sources that pretty much any fall at a certain point in the pregnancy warranted at least a phone call to the doctor. And my quick Google when I got home reiterated the same. Literally every single result said to call. So I did, and immediately buffered my question with "I'm sorry because this is probably a waste of your time, but I'm X far along and had Y type of fall happen, so I just wanted to do my due diligence and call." The receptionist was so lovely and didn't make me feel like a waste of time in the least bit.
She saw on my chart how far away from the hospital I am (40 minutes give or take depending on traffic) and said that since I wasn't having any bad symptoms and baby was moving, chances are the nurse wouldn't ask me to come in, but she wanted to make sure. A brief hold later and she said, "Actually, we do want you to come in to labor & delivery for a 1-hour observation, just in case. Any fall at this stage is worth getting checked out."
My heart sank a bit. I was honestly not even worried, and I hated the idea of wasting the gas, time, and whatever the observation would cost for them to just tell me everything is fine. On the flipside, obviously I take my son's safety very seriously, and decided that there's probably a reason they have a blanket recommendation to come in after a fall, even after I took pains to explain how much of a nothingburger it seemed to be.
Nonetheless, my husband and parents both insisted that I was doing the right thing by going in, and that they would all sleep better tonight knowing baby and I were both okay. My own birth was an emergency c-section at 30 weeks after my mom's amniotic fluid disappeared and I'd stopped growing around 26 weeks, so I can understand why my folks were of the better-safe-than-sorry mindset.
To try to make a long story short, we went to the hospital, they got me back right away because it was super quiet, and got me settled in with monitors. I could hear his heartbeat straight away, nice and strong, and heard, felt, and saw his kicks against the monitors lol. I already felt glad that we actually came in, because I think I was almost more afraid of the process of getting there than of anything actually being wrong. Plus, my next appointment isn't until the end of this month, so it would've been a long time to wait and wonder. After almost an hour, the doctor came in to check on us, and that's when I was utterly convinced this was NOT a waste of time.
She explained that my baby was looking great, but that I was having low level contractions (!!) She asked if I could feel them, but I couldn't, although I wasn't sure if that was because he was moving so much, or if they really weren't noticeable. She said this was normal after a fall, but could also be due to not eating enough or being dehydrated. I'd eaten a fairly normal amount yesterday and hadn't quite hit my water quota but had had a lot (maybe between 40-50oz?) So they had me stay another half hour or so just to make sure the contractions either stayed the same or slowed down. If they didn't, they would probably want me to stay 24 hours.
Luckily, at the end of it, they said the contractions slowed from when I first came in, and let me go. They just said to watch for any signs of premature labor.
All of that to say, I'm glad nothing too scary came of it (yet at least!) but I definitely learned my lesson not to overthink it about coming in. They recommended that I ask for a solid chair with a back at work, and said I could get a letter from my doctor issuing an accommodation for it if needed, which I appreciate. Otherwise, just going to be a little extra careful and wait and see. Hopefully my little one cooks for a while longer!
TL:DR - 29+4. Had a seemingly very light fall onto my butt at work, decided to call it in just to be safe, assumed I wouldn't have to go in, did have to go in, hemmed and hawed about it but I'm glad I went, because baby was fine but I was having light contractions and didn't know it. Contractions slowed down and I got to go home, but learned my lesson about not hesitating to get checked out!

{This is an accumulation of various comments and other’s hard work as well. Thank you all for your continued hard work and faith in Our God the Father}
John 1:1 is hardly a Trinitarian proof text.
Various translation have the c part as “and the Word was a god.” Other translations have “and the Word was divine.”
A Contemporary English Translation of the Coptic Text. The Gospel of John, Chapter One (From 2nd/3rd century):

1In the beginning the Word existed. The Word existed in the presence of God, and the Word was a divine being. 2This one existed in the beginning with God.

Diaglot NT, 1865:

“In a beginning was the Word, and the Word was with the God, and a god was the Word.”

Harwood, 1768:

"and was himself a divine person"

Newcome, 1808:

"and the word was a god"

Thompson, 1829:

"the Logos was a god”

Robert Harvey, D.D., 1931:

"and the Logos was divine (a divine being)”

Greek Orthodox /Arabic translation, 1983:

"the word was with Allah [God] and the word was a god"

John J. McKenzie, S.J., in his Dictionary of the Bible, says: “John 1:1 should rigorously be translated ‘the word was with the God [= the Father], and the word was a divine being.’”—(Brackets are his.) New York, 1965), p. 317
“In John 1:1c, the Word is not the one-and-only God, but is a god, or divine being.”—Truth in Translation: Accuracy and Bias in English Translations of the New Testament, pages 115, 122, and 123.
Joseph Henry Thayer, a Unitarian scholar who worked on the American Standard Version says of John 1:1: “The Logos [or, Word] was divine, not the divine Being himself.”
Even Vine in his dictionary admits 'the literal translation is, 'a god was the Word'.
The Word, was in the presence of God. The Word was alongside of God, near to, in front of. John tells us, this divine being, came to the earth, this divine being, became flesh, for prior to this he was a spirit being. The Word, is a title, given to a specific being, and not God's speech or expressions… Jesus, the Word, the Logos, is not God.
However, even without arguing grammar, we can read from the same letter and see the frame of mind John had Jesus, the Word, in.
Notably John 1:18 says that “no man has seen God at any time.” This occurs many times and isn’t a one off idea. (Ex 33:20; John 6:46; 1 John 4:12)
If we read previously at John 1:14, we see that the Word became flesh. Jesus was clearly seen by many thousands of people. That easily concludes that Jesus is not God.
John 1:23, “I am a voice of someone crying out in the wilderness.” Jesus is quoting Isaiah 40:3. This isn’t a new idea, Malachi 3:1:

1Behold, I will send my messenger, and he shall prepare the way before me: and the Lord, whom ye seek, shall suddenly come to his temple, even the messenger of the covenant, whom ye delight in: behold, he shall come, saith [YHWH] of hosts.

There is the temple again, not Jesus physical body. But! Lord, whom ye seek. We see this distinction between God and Lord at 1 Cor 8:5-6:

5 For even though there are so-called gods, whether in heaven or on earth, just as there are many “gods” and many “lords,” 6 there is actually to us one God, the Father, from whom all things are and we for him; and there is one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things are and we through him. (KJV says the same)

So, John had the same mindset that Paul wrote about here. The Word was certainly not God, because we have seen Jesus. Jesus claims to be the messenger, the answerer of the ones crying out in the wilderness. John, nor Paul, thought Jesus was Almighty God, YHWH.