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Edit: If you are going to comment on the length of this post, please don't. This is not a simple snark but rather an actual critical think piece about feminism and Taylor Swift.

Introduction

Pertaining to Taylor Swift, "Female Rage" has deviated from its intended meaning after Swift debuted a new performance of The Tortured Poets Department during the Eras Tour. Now, according to Swift's use of the phrase, female rage is interpreted as public backlash against Swift's dating choices rather than as a response to the broader injustices against women and women's rights. This post examines Taylor Swift's flawed feminism, philanthropy, branding, and the controversial trademark petition for the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical". Swift's background as an entertainer, indeterminate politics, and alignment with capitalism over feminism pervades her legacy, again threatening her public tolerance as not just an individual but as a brand.

Once Upon a Female Rage...

If you were cognizant in the early 2010's, you've heard countless jabs at Taylor Swift in the media. Magazines, radio, or online. Music critics did not take her seriously as a songwriter; parents put a woman on an unrealistic pedestal as the ideal role model for their children; she dated too much and used men as lyrical fodder. No matter the story, it inevitably spread, conjoined with everyone's respective opinions, and you'd be left to wonder, "Why does everyone hate this girl so much?"
Taylor's target demographic has always been young or adolescent girls, more so when Swift herself was one. She made music that spoke to the awkward misfit, cultivating a para-social relationship with fans on MySpace, then later twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, where Taylor posted relatable vlogs showcasing the life of a homegrown American girl. Taylor had a delayed public "growing up" and, compared to her female pop contemporaries, Swift never "gratuitously sexualized her image and seems pathologically averse to controversy" (and, apparently, never even had a sip of alcohol until she turned 21). She was more than happy to spin this narrative to allude to an inherent moral superiority above other women in the industry (Better Than Revenge, heard of it?), engaging in the very slut-shaming that she herself endured (the Madonna and Whore archetypes). The victim complex arose with the need to prove Taylor as a different type of pop girl. Based upon her holy and clean image, Swift had been dubbed "a feminist's nightmare", and that "[To Swift] other girls are obstacles; undeserving enemies who steal Taylor’s soulmates with their bewitching good looks and sexual availability." Feminism and Tennessee-Christian country values don't exactly mix, it seems.
Years later, Swift befriended Lena Dunham and thus experienced white feminism osmosis, where Dunham taught Swift that real feminists defend rapists, makes insensitive jokes about rape and abortion, and prioritize all-white casts. Swift then declared herself a feminist in 2014, saying,

"Becoming friends with Lena – without her preaching to me, but just seeing why she believes what she believes, why she says what she says, why she stands for what she stands for – has made me realize that I’ve been taking a feminist stance without actually saying so."

I suppose the male-centric songwriting subject that permeates Swift's discography contained covert feminism and that we just didn't see that. Perhaps, the "Bad Blood" song and music video were written only in jest and not about poor Katy Perry, for Swift, as a feminist, would "never make it a girl fight" or tear other women down (though all Katy did was date your terrible ex-boyfriend and allegedly steal three backup dancers from your tour). In 2013, Swift said, in response to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's joke towards her serial dating, "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."
There was that time in 2015 Taylor said that Nicki Minaj was "invited to any stage [she is] on" (as if Taylor expects to have access to every stage, award, and platform that Nicki might not otherwise have as a black female artist...yikes!) in response to Nicki's criticism of the white + thin VMA nominations. Later, Nicki responded with confusion, as Swift continued, "It’s unlike you to pit women against each other. Maybe one of the men took your slot..". Of course, this 'beef' was 'squashed' when Nicki performed with Taylor at the VMAs, with Nicki quite literally only having 38 seconds of stage time without Taylor. Maybe all that parading around with a legion of famous white women - similar to the way Taylor might've done with her numerous 1989-era handbags - was in fact a stance against gender inequality, and that this display of "girl power" should be enough to constitute Swift as a feminist icon.
Even while Swift says that Dunham informed her feminist outlook, she dances around the exact contents of those beliefs: "what she believes, what she says, what she stands for" is not exactly insightful towards what beliefs Swift might have inherited. Taylor never broaches women's rights topics such femicide, FGM, forced pregnancy & marriage, sex trafficking, women in slavery, women's financial and political oppression, women's educational rights, women's health, or women's autonomy, so we can assume she only gives a fuck about "girls supporting girls" (whatever that fucking means).
Despite some questionable (and sometimes vindictive) behavior, Taylor as a young woman did not deserve every media lashing that she received. We cannot deny that most headlines and criticisms perpetuated a misogynistic rhetoric which has plagued Swift for a majority of her career. Acknowledging events such as the development of her ED, her sexual assault trial, "Famous" lyric and MV depiction of Taylor, and the explicit Twitter deepfakes, for example, as both disgusting and unfortunate things that happened to a young woman in Hollywood does not negate the fact that Taylor is mostly a performative feminist.

Get Your Fucking Ass Up and Be a Philanthropist, It Seems Like Nobody Wants to Be a Philanthropist These Days

In 2013, Taylor Swift cut the ribbon at the grand opening of the Taylor Swift Education Center at the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville, Tennessee. The donation amount - $4 million - was the largest individual artist gift ever donated to the Country Music Hall of Fame, which is, of course, mentioned on Swift's website. The two-story facility features three classrooms, an instrument room, and an interactive children's exhibit gallery. Swift also performed at "All for the Hall" charity shows and has donated numerous artifacts from her career (such as notable guitars, tour costumes, etc) to the museum.
This was over 11 years ago, and it is still the only notable philanthropic contribution Taylor Swift has made.
For a woman of her net worth and stature, and a woman who recognizes the difficulties for women in film and music, you would think that Taylor Swift might establish a scholarship program for women to study the arts or something. Perhaps Swift might even consider becoming a member of organizations that support female artists, or one that supports LGBTQ+ causes (since she is now proudly an ally), yet she remains superficial with her graces. Broader philanthropy, such as donating relief aid to Palestinian women or women impacted by violence and discrimination will probably never receive any financial support from Miss Swift because then she'd be using her money towards philanthropies involving anyone but white entertainers.
She even says herself in Miss Americana, "My entire moral code as a kid and now is a need to be thought of as 'good'." Well, she's certainly thought of as good, though her actions say otherwise. She's more than happy to do a vaguely altruistic song and dance for a clip-worthy interview quote and mass appeasement, then fuck off to one of her mansions on a 20 minute private jet flight, rather than actually contribute to anything pertaining to the causes she has endorsed. Yet, far too many people continue to give a woman such as her their money, time, and energy, and she hoards these resources to herself.

I Like Some of the Taylor's Songs, But What the Fuck Does She Know About Feminism?

Swift continued with her self-proclaimed feminist campaign, positioning herself as a political activist and LGBTQ+ ally in the Miss Americana documentary. The primary focus of the documentary consists of the sexual assault trial, Andrea Swift's cancer diagnosis, Taylor's ED and body dysmorphia, media scrutiny, and, largely, finally speaking up about her politics publicly, mostly her opposition to the 2018 Tennessee Republican senate candidate, Marsha Blackburn, and Blackburn's beliefs. Swift says, following a scene discussing her experience during the trial,

"I just couldn't really stop thinking about it. And I just thought to myself, next time there is any opportunity to change anything, you had better know what you stand for and what you want to say."

We must ask ourselves, though: when has Swift ever spoken up to change anything? Okay, pulling her entire catalogue from Spotify because they didn't pay their artists enough and similarly pulling her catalogue from Apple Music are changes that she leveraged due to her revenue potential and power, but they are not pertinent to the average woman's rights. Moreover, these are issues that directly impacted Taylor's income, which was enough reason for her to protest in the first place. Swift has sold the most units for a female artist in first week sales, is the first female artist with 100k monthly Spotify listeners, is the first female artist to win the Album of the Year Grammy 4 times, and is the first female artist to do X, Y, and Z, all while being inoffensive and family-friendly to boot. The actual Taylor Swift seems unwilling to compromise the brand of Taylor Swift by contributing in meaningful ways to feminist causes, especially if it is for women outside of America and Hollywood.
The reason political anthems such as "The Man" and "Only the Young" of the Lover era feel disingenuous and corporate is because, well, it is. Taylor has taken every opportunity to advance her career or public image at the expense of other women. What is truly genuine to Taylor's outlook on other women is vying for male attention, taking down female competition, and vocalizing feminist injustices only if they directly impact her and her money. Some will argue that it's satisfactory for a woman with such a huge platform to even TALK about feminism, but that just isn't enough. It's even less impressive when you candidly look at the scope of her feminist lens: "If I was the man, then I'd be THE MAN", or "I really resent the ‘Be careful, buddy, she’s going to write a song about you’ angle, because it trivialises what I do", and, of course, "We all got crowns". Feminism, but only when it happens to me. It gets worse when you look at Taylor's track record of copying other famous women and removing other female artists as potential threats to her pop prowess.
It's good for PR to align yourself with certain blanket feminist and political beliefs, therefore good for branding, therefore good for ticketing and merchandise sales, therefore good for business. And Taylor Swift is a business.
She's not a feminist. Taylor Swift is a capitalist.

I Can't Pay Those Sweatshop Workers a Livable Wage or Benefits! How Else Would I Make My Billions?

Recently, Taylor's team filed to trademark the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical" after Taylor said during Paris N1 of the Eras Tour,

"So you were the first ones to see The Tortured Poets at the Eras Tour...or as I like to call it, 'Female Rage: The Musical'."

This trademark petition was filed last week on Saturday, and news comes about just as numerous unofficial fan-made merch designs have cropped up with this phrase plastered on Fruit of the Loom basics. I'm of the opinion Swift's team motioned for a trademark so that they can send out cease & desists to all those that make knockoff merch, which disrupts potential sales for Bravado, UMG's choice merchandising company; however, since it was filed earlier, perhaps Swift has bigger plans with the bizarre use of the gendered phrase. One Swiftie referred to the phrase "female rage" as "a funny Eras Tour joke". Could it be a possible fourth version of the Eras Tour Movie? Whatever the reason, the motion to capitalize off of such a concept is disgusting, but not unsurprising, for a woman that profits on her vain feminism.
Swift, through her company, TAS Rights Managements, has also trademarked over 200 phrases, including "1989", where she owns the property rights to this calendar year on keychains, phone cases, sunglasses, stationary, bags, beverage ware, clothing, entertainment services, your subconscious, and, of course, Christmas ornaments.
The vapid consumerism in Swiftie culture is, frankly, disgusting. Bravado's sustainability statement is non-existent, the quality control is abysmal, and the materials they use are horrible. The materials, such as acrylic and polyester, are made from petrochemicals. This means they are non-renewable, shed microplastics, and are quite toxic in production. The manufacturing process to make all of those lazy-rushed Eras Tour logo graphic tees is a huge blow to environmental well-being. Apparently, though, Swifties don't give a fuck. They sell out products in seconds and either have to face the manufactured scarcity or buy from a scalper that resells for 200% of the already ridiculous retail price. This doesn't include the environmental impact of vinyl records, CD, and cassette production, of which Taylor produces many variants that sell unsustainable amounts.
If we're talking about women's rights violations, why is no one acknowledging the women that work in the inhumane sweatshop conditions that have to pump out fugly t-shirts and hats? The millions of plastic microfiber dander they are inhaling, or the toxic dyes that touch their bare skin? Are they being compensated fairly for their skilled labour and are they in safe working environments? Do these women have minimal bargaining power, and do they have authority over their worker's rights? Is Taylor Swift female raging at their injustices? Does Taylor Swift ever feels bad that her wealth was built on the backs of women of color, disadvantaged by the demands of the global economy and garment industry? Do you think she ever says a little white feminist prayer for them before she goes to sleep at night?
What's even crazier is not that Taylor herself doesn't care, it's that Swifties don't care. There CANNOT BE ethical billionaires. You only make a billion dollars if you are exploiting other human beings for capital gain. Based on public perception of the possible "Female Rage: The Musical" trademark, it seems like Swifties are already asking for merch with this phrase. "If Taylor made it, I'd buy it." Oh, cool. So not only do you champion Miss Swift's avarice and billionaire status, but you also are unashamed to admit to your blind consumption of her music and merchandise, no matter where they might originate in production or sincerity. Just as Swift takes and takes and takes, Swifties' consumerism of Taylor Swift cannot be quelled.
The tortured artist's most vulnerable and sincere poetry...available now in 21 different versions!

I Am Tortured Poet, Hear Me Whinge

Look - even if Taylor's intention is to characterize TTPD as more "tortured" and "angry", the main thread of the album is "I was ghosted by my decade-long situationship with a controversial indie boy and my fucking stupid fans wrote a 'Speak Up Now' open letter prompting me to drop him" anger, which is adequately expressed in the lyrics and performances. The extent of Taylor's "female rage" on TTPD is on tracks such as "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?", which contends with relentless media scrutiny; "But Daddy I Love Him", where Swift firmly states she'll date whoever she likes no matter how "Sarahs and Hannahs" may react; and "The Albatross", a track mythologizing her reputation and the consequences of dating her. Of course, these coincide with deep psychological wounds that formed during Swift's early years in the media, and so, from her feminist perspective, these subjects tackle the misogyny and double standards that she faced.
Yet Taylor Swift still has no grounds to be claiming that TTPD best exemplifies female rage and therefore she, in the context of this album, is female rage incarnate. As the daughter of a stock broker and mutual fund marketing executive, Taylor was born into wealth and allowed privileges like trips and subsequent relocation to Nashville all so that she might get a record deal. Her father even invested at least $120,000 into the then-fledgling label, Big Machine Records, which ensured Taylor's place with Borchetta after leaving her dead-end development deal with Sony. The fact that her parents were able to buy her a fucking brand new guitar for Christmas and pay for music lessons says so much about the financial security and safety of her childhood.
Money is privilege and protection, and despite Swift's experiences with misogyny and loser boyfriends, she does not know what female rage is.
Her rage is derived from her frustrations with her obsessive fans pulling the moral superiority card on Taylor in response to her rebound with Matty Healy. That's literally it. She's just pissed that the monster she created is no longer obediant, it's become a feral, sovereign entity that depletes the world of its natural resources and thinks it is more intelligent than it actually is because it's mommy has started to talk to it with big words. Apparently, 'illicit', 'elegy', 'nonchalant', and 'precocious' are considerably big words for the oafish monster, and I find it strange that this level of literacy is present in a group of fans that allegedly have GPAs of 3.5 or higher, but I digress.
Taylor Swift has never been one paycheck away from destitution. Taylor Swift has never experienced racial discrimination. She may have instances of gender discrimination, but she possesses the ideal white, blonde American beauty standard and therefore reaps the benefits of being a conventionally attractive woman. Taylor Swift has sufficient social capital. Taylor Swift is a billionaire woman prolonging her victimhood though she, as a woman, has mostly had control over her image and music (unlike her contemporaries). Taylor Swift is NOT entitled to be championed for her "female rage", nor should she be. Taylor Swift has never even been the struggling artist, for fuck's sake. I don't give a fuck if she's trying to fill the empty lunch tables of her past. Taylor Swift purporting herself, her unpolished album, and her lukewarm feminism as a musical bleeding with female rage is asinine.

Sigh Try and Come For My Job, Poors

Out there in the world right now is a 23-year-old woman, a recent college grad, who works as a barista. She has to wake up and get ready to go into a minimum wage job because she cannot get a job in her field. She doesn't have healthcare benefits or sick time, so she has to go into work no matter how she's feeling. All day long she is berated by vicious customers and creepy men, and, exhausted from being on her feet, she knows she has to go home to her shitty roommate that never does the dishes and her roommate's shitty dog. To comfort herself, she considers getting a treat, but thinks against it when she remembers that matcha lattes cost $15 and they taste like milky dirt. She knows that she needs to buy groceries this week, and so the woman resolves to go home, but notices that her gas tank is low. She goes to put gas in the car, but the pump stops at $27.86 because that's all that she has in her checking account. The woman, bereft and reeling, sinks into the driver's seat. "Well," she thinks, her head in her hands, "at least I don't have Taylor Swift's job. I just couldn't imagine."
Fame is somewhat of a choice. If at any moment Taylor feels that she is misunderstood, misconstrued, or overwhelmed by public opinion, she can LEAVE the public eye - Lord knows she has the retirement fund and residuals to do so. In "I Can Do It With a Broken Heart", the TTPD song about meeting the demands of your career-zenith mega-tour while in the relationship trenches, Taylor ends the song by rambling,

"You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart...you know you're good...and I'm good, cause I'm miserable, and no one even knows!...try and come for my job."

Yeah, obviously we wouldn't know, you recently passed the billionaire threshold and are the most famous and in-demand performer in the world right now. Taylor Swift makes an estimated $10 to $13 million dollars A NIGHT on the Eras Tour. Furthermore, the Eras Tour movie grossed $261.6 million globally, (which, as the producer, Taylor takes home 57% of the ticket sales) not counting the streaming revenue from Amazon Prime Video and the estimated $75 million deal that Disney paid to have it on Disney+. We're not even considering the income from cheap plastic popcorn buckets and drink cups plastered with colored squares in her Era-specific likeness.
It's funny. Taylor Swift often said that being famous wasn't hard, that she "isn't complaining". I'm sure it is difficult to always have to present in a good mood, else you'll end up misrepresented in the media, and I'm sure it's invasive to virtually have no privacy or semblance of anonymity. Still, Taylor Swift shows up each night of tour and performs. For a majority of her career, she has penned her sad songs while on the road. Most of "Red", her breakup album, was written in the thick of the Speak Now World tour. Now, some Swifties say they almost "feel bad" for attending the Eras Tour with Swift's revelations in this song, that they have had a 'dimmed experience' upon hearing Taylor's misery whilst performing. Despite the fact that Taylor said that "this was the happiest she's ever been" at Gilette Stadium in May, the lyrics "boohoo, woe is me, smile for the cameras and make the fans happy!!!" are jarring for Eras attendees.
While Taylor Swift was making double-digit millions a night in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and feeling miserable, Ana Clara Benevides Machado passed away due to heat exposure. The concert promoters, Time For Fun, are now the subject of a criminal investigation due to their lack of adequate hydration and safety. Taylor Swift cancelled the Sunday show that was to follow and offered VIP tent tickets to Benevides Marchado's family, which was a kind gesture, but perhaps incongruous to the incident of which they were offered as consolation. Everyone grieves differently, of course, but I'm not sure attending the very show at the very same venue that my daughter or sister passed away in two days prior, where the singer CONTINUED the show despite her death, would be healthy for closure.
There was no female rage at the show as Swift never saw Benevides Machado pass out. There was no female rage towards the disregard for fans as humans while Swift elected to proceed with her Brazil tour dates despite the country being in historic heatwaves (at risk of overheatting herself). If Taylor Swift was so shaken by touring with a broken heart or a fan's passing, she wouldn't have added an additional North American leg of Eras just two months after the Matty breakup. She's brokenhearted but willing to mend the cracks with your money and move onward with her worldwide female rage induced pillaging.
No matter what happens, even if you die at a Taylor Swift concert, Taylor collects a big fat check and flies away. She doesn't know you as anything other than a conversion rate or earning potential despite what her nearly 20-year long parasocial relationship with fans might otherwise indicate. She knows that, while some Swifties are without disposable income, they feel obligated to spend on a "48 Hours Only!" exclusive vinyl variant instead of necessities because they are so entrenched in Taylor Swift's intoxicating celebrity, they'll prioritize materialistic fandom before their needs. This is good enough for her because this means she can expand her real estate portfolio and finance her cat's lavish lifestyles. They're worth an estimated $100 million dollars. Her three cats could pool their net worth and solve world hunger.
While you and I might be denied bereavement leave and barely surviving the current political and economic climate, Taylor Swift has to, instead of gets to, perform for stadiums at full attendance for three nights in a row across the globe. You and I might be replaced by AI at our longtime jobs, but Taylor Swift is threatened with losing more and more money each time you listen to a "Stolen Version" of her songs. If we don't buy every variant of all of her albums, then who is going to pay for the fucking cats?
It is tone deaf to spend as she spends and lives as she lives in this economy, but this is her reality. She was able to donate $100,000 to all of her tour truck drivers, and that's wonderful, but it leads me to wonder about the ethos of the 2020s where one woman can hoard such life-changing amounts of money. Remember in 2014 when she gave a fan $90 ($120 in today's money) to get Chipotle because she had no fucking clue how much it cost? This is a 34-year-old woman who is increasingly out of touch with the reality for working class people and women in general. Normal everyday adults must wake up and go to their thankless jobs, and yet Taylor Swift, despite all her riches, incessantly references the lows of her life and career as a public figure and entertainer to farm sympathy and drive sales. And still, the corporate women have latched onto "I cry a lot, but I am so productive! It's an art!" as their cubicle battle cry.
Do you think that, from up in her private jet, Taylor Swift gazes at the world through her poetic, tortured eyes, and thinks, "All the little people, in their cars, walking, going about their lives...all those girls that don't support girls...do they know that I've made an album about female rage?"

Conclusion/TLDR

Thank you for reading. I would love to hear your critical insights towards this entire ordeal: TTPD, the trademark, the implications of it all.
TLDR: Taylor Swift is a bad feminist and is delusional to think that the TTPD eras set exemplifies female rage at women's injustice.

I mean collecting the more rare stuff and original presses.
I stepped away from the hobby for about a year, and it seems like things have gotten so extreme there's no going back. There are so many records I wish I bought when they weren't nearly as expensive as they are today (think city pop, underground italo/deep house, classic rock, boogie, rare groove, also jazz). I know before it used to be a bargain hunting hobby, but now it just seems like a price gouging fest. It makes me really sad because I can never afford some of the records I love most, that or I can't justify paying that much without feeling like a complete idiot.
For context, I started collecting in earnest in 2011, however I didn't really get serious till...2019. It seems that was the beginning of the end already.
I feel also like there are SO MANY collectors/sellers/DJs who are extremely overprotective over their taste/selections, it really depresses me. The best music I've heard always came from DJs, musicians who are just brilliant selectors, but it feels hopeless now. The industry is so toxic, there's no hope to even hear the best of the best anymore. I mourn all the music I haven't discovered because I'm not a "too cool" social climber. Can we just share the best of the best?
I accept that prices on the best of the best may never come down, but at the very least I still want to hear the best.
Over the years, I may add those final pieces I want, but they will be rare splurges as additions. In general, I'm moving onto CDs. Dirt cheap, extremely strong audio quality, and way less hassle.
What do you think? Anyone else feel this way? Will this crazy market crash? It seems to be stagnating a bit.
Edit: A lot of people seem to think I mean the hobby in general, when at the top I specifically referred to original pressings and rare stuff. Obviously people who want to dig will still dig and people who want to buy new stuff will still do so. I’m talking about the old way of extremely high quality pressings, rare and great music being found and sold for relatively low prices.

May Universal Rewards $3 Each (12 Left)

• A Dog’s Purpose UHD MA
• Agnes Browne HD MA
• Antz HD MA
• Backdraft 2 UHD MA
• Being Frank HD MA
• Black Christmas UHD MA
• Don’t Let Go HD MA
• Final Account HD MA
• Kicks UHD MA
• Loving HD MA
• Raw HD MA
• The Sparks Brothers UHD MA

April Universal Rewards $2.75 Each (11 Left)

• A Dog's Journey HD MA
• Brewster's Millions HD MA
• Bring It On Again HD MA
• Bulletproof (1996) HD MA
• Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant HD MA
• Contraband HD MA
• Crooklyn HD MA
• Drop Dead Fred HD MA
• Everest UHD MA
• Idlewild HD MA
• Last Christmas UHD MA
• The Visit HD MA
• Wanted HD MA

February Universal Rewards $2.50 Each (1 Left)

• Anna Karenina HD MA
• Atonement HD MA
• Battleship UHD MA
• The Bourne Ultimatum UHD MA
• Ed HD MA
• Field Of Dreams UHD MA
• Identity Thief (Theatrical) HD MA
• Identity Thief (Unrated) HD MA
• Leap Year HD MA
• Ray HD MA
• Ted 2 (Theatrical) HD MA
• Ted 2 (Unrated) HD MA
• The Thing (2011) HD MA
• U-571 HD MA
• Wimbledon HD MA
• Your Highness (Theatrical) HD MA
• Your Highness (Unrated) HD MA

HD
Redeem on Google Play (GP), many port to Movies Anywhere (MA) as marked

• Black Panther (2018) (GP, ports to MA) - $2.50
• Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (GP, ports to MA) - $2.50
• Cinderella (1950) (GP, ports to MA) - $2.50
• Beauty and the Beast (1991) (GP, ports to MA) - $2.50
• Frozen (2013) (GP, ports to MA) - $2.50
• Lightyear (GP, ports to MA) - $2.50
• Love, Simon (2018) (MA) - $5
• Maleficent 1 (2014) (GP, ports to MA) - $2.50
• Moana (GP, ports to MA) - $2.50
• Onward (GP, ports to MA) - $2.50
• The Shape of Water (2017) (MA) - $5
• Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) (GP, ports to MA) - $2.50
• Toy Story 4 (GP, ports to MA) - $2.50

4Ks

• 2 Guns (MA VUDU) - $6.50
• 3 From Hell (2019) (VUDU iTunes) - $7
• 3:10 to Yuma (2007) (VUDU) - $7
• 8 Mile (MA) - $5
• A Christmas Story (MA VUDU) - $6.50
• Abyss, The (MA VUDU) - $8.50
• Aliens (MA VUDU) - $8.50
• Animal House, National Lampoon's (MA VUDU iTunes) - $5
• Annie (1982) (MA VUDU) - $5
• Apocalypse Now (Final Cut) (VUDU iTunes) - $7
• Avengers (2012) (MA VUDU) - $9
• Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) (MA VUDU) - $9
• Avengers: Endgame (iTunes) no DMI - $7
• Avengers: Endgame (MA VUDU) with DMI - $9
• Bad Guys, The (MA VUDU) - $5.25
• Bad Times at the El Royale (MA VUDU) - $8
• Black Adam (MA VUDU) - $5.25
• Black Hawk Down (Extended and Theatrical Cuts in MA Theatrical VUDU) - $5.75
• Blues Brothers, The (MA (Theatrical & Unrated) VUDU (Theatrical)) - $5
• Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk (MA VUDU) - $5.50
• Bohemian Rhapsody (MA VUDU) - $5.25
• Carlito's Way (1993) (MA VUDU) - $5
• Chaos Walking (2021) (VUDU) - $7
• Cinderella (1950) (MA VUDU) with DMI - $7
• Cinderella (2015 Live Action) (iTunes) no DMI - $7
• Cinderella (2015 Live Action) (MA VUDU) with DMI - $9
• Cloverfield (iTunes VUDU) - $6
• 10 Cloverfield Lane (iTunes VUDU) - $6
• Cool Hand Luke (MA VUDU) - $6.50
• Creator, The (MA VUDU) - $8.50
• Croods, The (MA VUDU) - $6.50
• Death on the Nile (MA VUDU, with DMI) - $5.75
• Despicable Me 3 (iTunes) - $5
• Downton Abbey (2019) (MA VUDU) - $6.25
• Elemental (2023) (MA VUDU) - $8
• Elvis (MA VUDU) - $5.25
• Enter the Dragon (MA VUDU) - $6.50
• Ferris Bueller's Day Off (VUDU iTunes) - $5
• Flashdance (VUDU) - $5
• Frozen (2013) (iTunes, no DMI) - $5
• Frozen (2013) (MA VUDU, with DMI) - $7
• Gattaca (MA VUDU) - $5.25
• Gemini Man (iTunes) - $5
• Giant (1956) (MA VUDU) - $5.25
• Girl on the Train, The (2016) (MA VUDU) - $5
• Great Wall, The (iTunes) - $5
• Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1 (iTunes) no DMI - $7
• Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1 (MA VUDU) with DMI - $9
• Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (MA VUDU) - $9
• Hell or High Water (iTunes) - $5
• Heat (MA VUDU iTunes) - $5
• Highlander (VUDU) - $5
• The Hitman's Bodyguard (2017) (VUDU) - $7
• The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (2021) (VUDU) - $7
• Home Alone (MA VUDU iTunes HD) - $7
• Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2), The (iTunes) - $5
• Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 (3), The (iTunes) - $5
• Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 (4), The (iTunes) - $5
• Huntsman, The: Winter's War Extended Edition (iTunes) - $5
• The Hurt Locker (iTunes VUDU GP HD) - $5.25
• Inside Out (2015) (iTunes) no DMI - $7
• Inside Out (2015) (MA VUDU) with DMI - $9
• Iron Man 3 (iTunes) no DMI - $7
• Iron Man 3 (MA VUDU) with DMI - $9
• It Happened One Night (MA VUDU) - $5
• Jaws 2 (MA VUDU) - $5
• Jojo Rabbit (2019) (MA VUDU iTunes HD) - $8
• Kick-Ass 2 (2013) (MA VUDU) - $6
• Knock at the Cabin (MA VUDU) - $5.25
• La La Land (2016) (VUDU) - $8
• Last Picture Show, The (MA VUDU) - $5
• Les Misérables (2012) (MA VUDU iTunes HD) - $6.25
• Life of Pi (2012) (MA VUDU iTunes HD) - $8
• Lightyear (MA VUDU) - $6
• The Little Mermaid (1992) (iTunes, no DMI) - $5
• The Little Mermaid (1992) (MA VUDU, with DMI) - $7
• Luca (2021) (MA) - $9
• Mask of Zorro, The (1988) (MA VUDU) - $6
• Meg 2: The Trench (2023) (MA VUDU) - $6
• Men in Black 1 (MA) - $5.75
• Men in Black: International (4) (MA VUDU) - $6
• Minions (MA VUDU iTunes) - $5
• Moana (iTunes, no DMI) - $5
• Moana (MA VUDU, with DMI) - $7
• Moonfall (2022) (VUDU) - $7
• Mortal Engines (MA VUDU) - $5
• National Lampoon's Vacation (MA VUDU) - $5
• Night School (MA VUDU) - $5
• The Nightmare Before Christmas (MA VUDU) with DMI - $5.75
• Onward (MA VUDU) with DMI - $5.75
• Patriot Games (VUDU) - $5
• The Peanuts Movie (2015) (MA VUDU) - $8
• Pitch Perfect (1) (MA VUDU iTunes) - $5
• Pitch Perfect 2 (MA VUDU iTunes) - $5
• Prince of Egypt, The (1998) (MA VUDU) - $6
• Puss in Boots (2011) (MA VUDU) - $5
• Ran (VUDU) - $5
• Rebel Without A Cause (MA VUDU) - $5
• Requiem for a Dream (VUDU) - $6.50
• The Revenant (MA iTunes HD) - $8
• R.I.P.D. (MA VUDU) - $5
• Robin Hood (2018) (iTunes) - $5
• Saban's Power Rangers (iTunes) - $5
• Saw (VUDU iTunes) - $5
• Schindler's List (MA VUDU) - $5
• Scream 3 (iTunes VUDU) - $7
• Shazam! Fury of the Gods (MA VUDU) - $5
• Sicario (iTunes) - $5
• Sing (2016) (MA VUDU iTunes HD) - $6
• Skyscraper (MA VUDU) - $5
• Smokey and the Bandit (MA VUDU) - $5
• Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins (VUDU iTunes) - $5
• Snow White and the Huntsman: Extended Edition (MA VUDU iTunes) - $5
• Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (MA VUDU) with DMI - $5.75
• Stuber (2019) (MA VUDU) - $8
• Sum of All Fears (VUDU or iTunes) - $6.50
• Thor (2011) (iTunes) no DMI - $7
• Thor (2011) (MA VUDU) with DMI - $9
• Thor: The Dark World (2013) (iTunes) no DMI - $7
• Thor: The Dark World (2013) (MA VUDU) with DMI - $9
• Thor: Ragnarok (2017) (MA VUDU) - $9
• To Kill A Mockingbird (1962) (MA VUDU) - $5
• Total Recall (1990) (VUDU) - $7
• Training Day (MA VUDU) - $5
• True Lies (MA VUDU) - $8.50
• Twilight (VUDU iTunes) - $5
• The Untouchables (VUDU iTunes) - $5
• Up (iTunes) no DMI - $7
• Up (MA VUDU) with DMI - $9
• Wall-E (2008) (iTunes) no DMI - $7
• Wall-E (2008) (MA VUDU) with DMI - $9
• Warcraft (2016) (iTunes) - $5
• War of the Worlds (1953) (iTunes VUDU) - $6.25
• Wild (2014) (MA) - $9
• Wonder (VUDU iTunes) - $5
• Zero Dark Thirty (MA VUDU) - $6

200 DMI Points for $2 Each

• 200 DMI Points from A Bug's Life 4K (no movie) - $2
• 200 DMI Points from The Incredibles 4K (no movie) - $2
• 200 DMI Points from Monsters, Inc. 4K (no movie) - $2
• 200 DMI Points from Monsters University 4K (no movie) - $2
• 200 DMI Points from Ratatouille 4K (no movie) - $2
• 200 DMI Points from Thor (2011) 4K (no movie) - $2

4K Sets

• Alfred Hitchcock Classics Collection, The (MA)(vol 3: Rope / The Man Who Knew Too Much / Torn Curtain / Topaz / Frenzy) - $24.50
• Expendables 1-3, The (VUDU) - $8.50

Accepting PayPal F&F/Venmo/cashapp, open to bundle offers
Codes are from 4K discs for my personal collection, some codes are split, not accepting VUDU/Fandango credits, thanks for looking!

2007, I was 10 and would turn 11 later in the year. My sister’s boyfriend was over the house a lot. He was a skater, Bam Margera type of guy who lived at the beach (albeit on the east coast) and would drive up on the weekends to see my sister. They used to listen to music on my sister’s stereo a lot. They would listen to a variety of music ranging from Grateful Dead to Staind to The Doors. However one CD would play a lot more than the others, the 1996 Sublime self titled album. She would listen to it with and without him and I would constantly hear “Wrong Way” and “Santeria” despite not knowing the title of the song or the artist. Fast forward to Summer of 2008, I was up way later than I should have been trying to remember the lyrics to “Santeria”. All I knew was “what I really wanna know, ah baby”. So I plugged that into Google and got a YouTube video for “Santeria”. From there I downloaded “Wrong Way”, “What I Got”, “Santeria”, and “Doin’ Time” onto my iPod and they were a good portion what I listened to for the rest of the summer. When my sister went to college I immediately ransacked her CD collection and downloaded 40oz, Robbin the Hood, and the Self titled.
Fast forward to early 2009, I’m still listening to Sublime almost daily. One day I’m online and I notice an article about Sublime reforming with an 18 year old named Rome Ramirez. I was very excited to see this band that I just discovered was coming back. Of course I was just excited when they changed the name to Sublime with Rome. Even as a kid I knew it was a good way of separating the two. A couple years pass and I’m not following the news on SWR until 2011 when I see they’re releasing new music on an album called “Yours Truly”. Here’s where SWR would have a knack for releasing music that coincided with major events in my life. I graduated grade school in 2011 and the soundtrack of that summer was “Yours Truly”, I would listen to every track on that album constantly. For Christmas that year I had my parents get me the physical CD. From 2011-2015 I made new friends in high school and was able to introduce a lot of them to both Sublime and Sublime with Rome.
“Sirens” came out the summer I graduated high school and almost everybody in my friend group was listening to it. I have very good memories of hearing “Wherever You Go” at the beach, driving at night with friends, and at parties. That same summer me and 3 others went to see SWR live (my first of 4 times) and it was a great experience to be able to hear the music I love played live.
“Blessings” came out the summer I graduated college and the lyrics to that album resonated with me more than the previous albums. Especially “Light On”. It was yet another summer that I was going through a life change while having new SWR music to accompany it.
Fast forward to 2023-2024, I’m now 27. The past year saw a bad breakup and a departure from a job that I really began to hate. I have not been in too many dark spots in my life, but this one required a little spiritual and emotional recovery. I can confidently say I am truly happy again. I’ve got another summer to look forward and yet again new SWR music to accompany me. This is the main reason I stick up for SWR and Rome as an individual. Their music is connected to major parts of my life. If you don’t like the music itself you’re free to bash it but I will never see the group as “hacks” as some people like to call them.

I'm installing my Hi-Fi Stereo in my new house, and as I was browsing the internet to buy a new stand for my vinyl player, I found alot of stuff about audio quality (how shitty vinyl is and how CDs degrade over time) - which made me decide I should find a way to play digital audio files on the stereo.
I have my files stored on a Macbook Pro 13" from 2009-2011, the files are 320kbps MP3 (some FLAC).
Speakers: Sharp CP-7700 MK3 Stereo: Onkyo Stereo Receiver TX-8255
I've read all kinds of ways to connect the laptop to the stereo (AUX, audio adapters), but as I'm not really familiar with equipment, this sounds all very confusing to me as I keep wondering if the music will lose any quality with these kind of connections offered to me. My budget doesn't really have a limit and I'm located in Belgium (Europe).
TL;DR I want to connect my laptop to my stereo without losing any quality. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

$100 mystery box. Satisfaction Guaranteed!
Buy any 4 1 oz and get a 1 oz copper for free!
Shipping and Payment
USPS priority box /envelope $10
USPS 1st class $6 up to 7 oz
“ Risky “ 1st class 🫧 envelope non-machinable $2 -
I take Zelle , Venmo , Cash App and Mailed Cash
I make excellent packages but after I drop it off its the responsibility of USPS.
Please ask for photos or if I have multiple of the same item!
Date Proof:
https://imgur.com/a/Oli6nLG
PRE-33 GOLD
https://imgur.com/a/MNAYZip
1908 D $5 Gold $1300
https://imgur.com/a/xINXuM0
1927 2.5 gold $800
https://imgur.com/a/diOJZvh
1914 D 2.5 Gold $700
https://imgur.com/a/PX94LL9
1901 2.5 Gold $650
https://imgur.com/a/mExBjEn
SILVER COINS AND ROUNDS 🕰️
Aerosmith 1 oz $33
Homer Simpson 2019 donut $70
Simpson family Christmas $50
1oz silver Superman Samoa 🇼🇸 $5 coin $35
Spider-Man 1oz $45
St. Lucia 2020 1 oz silver lizard 🦎 $33
2021 Wonder Woman 1oz $70
Batman 1oz $70
Scarface 1 oz $40
🥤 Coca-Cola 1 oz silver round 1 oz $33
Baby yoda 1oz silver $33
🇺🇸 Army 1 oz silver bar / round $33
Bar 1
Bar 2 digital camouflage
Street fighter chun lee 1oz 🇯🇵 - $33
Wolverine 1oz 🇨🇦 $50
The Godfather 1oz silver $40
Silver Bart Simpson 1 oz $60 🛹
2023 Homer Simpson carded 1 oz $60 📷
SWAMP THING 1oz colorized- $75 📷
2024 silver shield 1oz silver cannabis round $36
ET 🪐 Niue 1oz 2 dollar movie poster bar $45
1 oz trump wanted rounds $35
Beavis and butthead 🔥 🧻 1 oz silver
$90
Intaglio Mint 1oz “ the 4 seasons “ nude art 🖼️ round $60
Donald Duck $40
1991 liberty lobby 1/2 oz round - $14 each 4 available
FRANCE 🇫🇷 10 franc 1965 silver .8134 asw
$28
1oz Silver Camel Cigarettes Joe Camel 🐪 - $65
Disneys snow White doc 1 oz $70
1 oz proof ablum
https://imgur.com/a/tYA9NDZ
Silver $1 commemorative
Capsule only
Baseball $1 proof $29
Lewis and Clark proof $33
2011 infantry no box $30 sale !
1992 Columbus $1 - $30
D-day $1 bu $30
Wright brothers $1 $30
Capsule proof:
https://imgur.com/a/9sCzhiP
In original mint packaging 📷
1993 WW2 2 coin set $1 - $37
1993 WW2 2 coin set proof $33
1994 World Cup 2 coin set $28 sale
1995 civil war battlefield 2 coin proof set $32
1995 Olympic cyclist 🚴 proof $33
1995 Olympic track and field proof $33
1996 national community service proof $29
1996 Smithsonian $1 proof $29
1998 Robert f Kennedy $1 proof - $40
1999 Yellow stone national park $33
2000 Leif Erickson silver proof $1 - $42
2003 wright brothers first flight $1 proof - $31
2006 San Francisco old Mint $1 proof $30
Benjamin Franklin founding father proof $33
2012 Infantry Soldier $1 $40
Comm proof:
https://imgur.com/a/iaF31xI
Silver Dollars 💵
1883 o $100
2007 ASE certified $40
2006 ASE certified $40
1921 Morgan in cap $40
1926 D peace dollar $33
1887 $1 - $70
1921 Morgan plastic flip $45
1886 $1 $70
1922 peace dollar $26 🔥
Better 1922 peace dollar $26
Nice 1922 peace dollar $26
1925 peace dollar $26
Proof:
https://imgur.com/a/fBk2WiY
1921 Morgan MS $60
1896 Morgan $65
1885 Morgan $90
1878 CC $1 $170
1897 $1 $85
1890 O $1 $80
1921 MS $60
Proof;
https://imgur.com/a/jJbdBJa
Glass Panther Art pours and more,
🥤🍔🌎🦩🌞🧊
Fallout New Vegas
Lucky 38 1oz silver “ platinum chip “ $45
Vintage 1977 Coca-Cola 1oz silver bar
Nashville TN $70
Norfolk Va $70
Atlanta $70
Contemporary Coca-Cola 1oz silver bar $35
Contemporary Coca-Cola 1oz silver round $35
Coca-Cola Christmas 2019 Fiji Santa Clause 1oz - $50 🎅
Fiji 🇫🇯 1oz coca-cola bottle cap $149 📷
10k gold coca-cola pin 📌 $150 📷
7.5 oz 1:1 scale .999 silver derringer - $400 ⭐️
3oz M4 🐆 $223
1oz army man $90
Sunshine 1oz $140
Cyborg 1oz $140
Smurf 1 oz $35
Art cola Proof ;
https://imgur.com/a/mlUyEQZ
HALF DOLLARS and more 💵
1822 Bust half dollar $75
1825 bust half dollar $70
1876 seated half $50
1896 O Barber half $60
1895 p barber half $30
1952 Washington/ carver half $25
1877 seated half $45
Booker T Half $25
1964 MS 50c $14
1963 D 50c unc $18
1955 Canada 50c $15 🔥
1992 silver 50c proof $15 🔥
2005 s silver proof $15 🔥
1858 50C $70
Canada silver 5 cents $6
1857 dime $20
1923 mercury dime $3
1937 mercury dime au $12
1936 AU mercury dime $13
1927 mercury dime $4
Barber dime coa $4
Ohio silver quarter $12
1XX3 seated quarter $18
1955 ms quarter $12
1964 ms quarter $9
1904 p 25c $8
1908 O 25c $10
1912 d 10c $9
Metal detector dime $5
1909 p barber dime $19
1903 p 25c $9
1916 p barber $4
1912 D $5
1916 $6
1907 $8
1914 10c $12
1832 half dime $90 📷
Proof
https://imgur.com/a/PhO1Bhq
SETS 📺 📷
Silver war nickel set $8
Dimes of the 20th century $6
Bill of rights silver 50c young collector set
$19
Buy all for $25 . Great deal.
Jewelry 💍
1 gram 10k earrings $25
7 gram. 925 bracelet $7
Take both for $31
https://imgur.com/a/H4Nrark
Rarities 🦜 📷
1/4 oz art bar gilded Halloween $35
1/4 oz art bar gilded Pug $35
COPPER 📣
Copper Cannabis Leaf 🍁 Round $2
2023 year of the Dragon 🐉 copper round $2
Lincoln Wheat Cent 1oz COPPER $2
Copper proof;
https://imgur.com/a/b6dcW1Y
🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 GOLD 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸
0 - 2021 New Hampshire 1 GoldBack $5 each - free ihp with purchase and ground shipping limit 4 ihp
I’m out of these, sell me or trade for cheap.
https://imgur.com/a/JBEAJ4j
Bank of America 10k pendant with seed pearls , I think it’s 3.6 grams. $120 📷
Bank of America 10k pin 📌 no pearls, $100
📷
Fractional silver
1 gram silver in card $1.70
📷 https://imgur.com/a/x4CsSMR
CANADA SILVER 🇨🇦 🍁
Canada 1955 50c $20 📷
Canada $1 1987 proof $20 📷
Superman $20 silver $25
Batman vs Superman Canada $20 silver coin $29
Bugs Bunny $20 silver $35
Star trek 2016 silver $20 coin. $35
2016 Canada $20 silver T-Rex $25
2014 Canada $20 Snowman $22 2014 Canada $20 silver summer swimming coin $22
Canada proof
https://imgur.com/a/bUSuicI
Bank bag assortment lot that I forgot:
Futurama Shut up and take my money 1oz - $45
From glass panther
vintage coke bar 1oz $65
2014 icg panda $42
St. Lucia 1 oz lizard 🦎 $35
Trump wanted $33
https://imgur.com/a/q8pR7c3
USPS priority box /envelope $10
USPS 1st class $6 up to 7 oz
Risky envelope shipping $2
I take Zelle and Venmo Cash App and Mailed Cash and small gold or 1 goldbacks @3.75
I make excellent packages but after I drop it off it is the responsibility of USPS
Proof:
https://imgur.com/a/Oli6nLG

Buy any 4 1 oz and get a 1 oz copper for free!
Shipping and Payment
USPS priority box /envelope $10
USPS 1st class $6 up to 7 oz
“ Risky “ 1st class 🫧 envelope non-machinable $2 -
I take Zelle , Venmo , Cash App and Mailed Cash
I make excellent packages but after I drop it off its the responsibility of USPS.
Please ask for photos or if I have multiple of the same item!
Date Proof:
https://imgur.com/a/Oli6nLG
PRE-33 GOLD
https://imgur.com/a/MNAYZip
1908 D $5 Gold $1300
https://imgur.com/a/xINXuM0
1927 2.5 gold $800
https://imgur.com/a/diOJZvh
1914 D 2.5 Gold $700
https://imgur.com/a/PX94LL9
1901 2.5 Gold $650
https://imgur.com/a/mExBjEn
SILVER COINS AND ROUNDS 🕰️
Aerosmith 1 oz $33
Homer Simpson 2019 donut $70
Simpson family Christmas $50
1oz silver Superman Samoa 🇼🇸 $5 coin $35
Spider-Man 1oz $45
St. Lucia 2020 1 oz silver lizard 🦎 $33
2021 Wonder Woman 1oz $70
Batman 1oz $70
Scarface 1 oz $40
🥤 Coca-Cola 1 oz silver round 1 oz $33
Baby yoda 1oz silver $33
🇺🇸 Army 1 oz silver bar / round $33
Bar 1
Bar 2 digital camouflage
Street fighter chun lee 1oz 🇯🇵 - $33
Wolverine 1oz 🇨🇦 $50
The Godfather 1oz silver $40
Silver Bart Simpson 1 oz $60 🛹
2023 Homer Simpson carded 1 oz $60 📷
SWAMP THING 1oz colorized- $75 📷
2024 silver shield 1oz silver cannabis round $36
ET 🪐 Niue 1oz 2 dollar movie poster bar $45
1 oz trump wanted rounds $35
Beavis and butthead 🔥 🧻 1 oz silver
$90
Intaglio Mint 1oz “ the 4 seasons “ nude art 🖼️ round $60
Donald Duck $40
1991 liberty lobby 1/2 oz round - $14 each 4 available
FRANCE 🇫🇷 10 franc 1965 silver .8134 asw
$28
1oz Silver Camel Cigarettes Joe Camel 🐪 - $65
Disneys snow White doc 1 oz $70
1 oz proof ablum
https://imgur.com/a/tYA9NDZ
Silver $1 commemorative
Capsule only
Baseball $1 proof $29
Lewis and Clark proof $33
2011 infantry no box $30 sale !
1992 Columbus $1 - $30
D-day $1 bu $30
Wright brothers $1 $30
Capsule proof:
https://imgur.com/a/9sCzhiP
In original mint packaging 📷
1993 WW2 2 coin set $1 - $37
1993 WW2 2 coin set proof $33
1994 World Cup 2 coin set $28 sale
1995 civil war battlefield 2 coin proof set $32
1995 Olympic cyclist 🚴 proof $33
1995 Olympic track and field proof $33
1996 national community service proof $29
1996 Smithsonian $1 proof $29
1998 Robert f Kennedy $1 proof - $40
1999 Yellow stone national park $33
2000 Leif Erickson silver proof $1 - $42
2003 wright brothers first flight $1 proof - $31
2006 San Francisco old Mint $1 proof $30
Benjamin Franklin founding father proof $33
2012 Infantry Soldier $1 $40
Comm proof:
https://imgur.com/a/iaF31xI
Silver Dollars 💵
1883 o $100
2007 ASE certified $40
2006 ASE certified $40
1921 Morgan in cap $40
1926 D peace dollar $33
1887 $1 - $70
1921 Morgan plastic flip $45
1886 $1 $70
1922 peace dollar $26 🔥
Better 1922 peace dollar $26
Nice 1922 peace dollar $26
1925 peace dollar $26
Proof:
https://imgur.com/a/fBk2WiY
1921 Morgan MS $60
1896 Morgan $65
1885 Morgan $90
1878 CC $1 $170
1897 $1 $85
1890 O $1 $80
1921 MS $60
Proof;
https://imgur.com/a/jJbdBJa
Glass Panther Art pours and more,
🥤🍔🌎🦩🌞🧊
Fallout New Vegas
Lucky 38 1oz silver “ platinum chip “ $45
Vintage 1977 Coca-Cola 1oz silver bar
Nashville TN $70
Norfolk Va $70
Atlanta $70
Contemporary Coca-Cola 1oz silver bar $35
Contemporary Coca-Cola 1oz silver round $35
Coca-Cola Christmas 2019 Fiji Santa Clause 1oz - $50 🎅
Fiji 🇫🇯 1oz coca-cola bottle cap $149 📷
10k gold coca-cola pin 📌 $150 📷
7.5 oz 1:1 scale .999 silver derringer - $400 ⭐️
3oz M4 🐆 $223
1oz army man $90
Sunshine 1oz $140
Cyborg 1oz $140
Smurf 1 oz $35
Art cola Proof ;
https://imgur.com/a/mlUyEQZ
HALF DOLLARS and more 💵
1822 Bust half dollar $75
1825 bust half dollar $70
1876 seated half $50
1896 O Barber half $60
1895 p barber half $30
1952 Washington/ carver half $25
1877 seated half $45
Booker T Half $25
1964 MS 50c $14
1963 D 50c unc $18
1955 Canada 50c $15 🔥
1992 silver 50c proof $15 🔥
2005 s silver proof $15 🔥
1858 50C $70
Canada silver 5 cents $6
1857 dime $20
1923 mercury dime $3
1937 mercury dime au $12
1936 AU mercury dime $13
1927 mercury dime $4
Barber dime coa $4
Ohio silver quarter $12
1XX3 seated quarter $18
1955 ms quarter $12
1964 ms quarter $9
1904 p 25c $8
1908 O 25c $10
1912 d 10c $9
Metal detector dime $5
1909 p barber dime $19
1903 p 25c $9
1916 p barber $4
1912 D $5
1916 $6
1907 $8
1914 10c $12
1832 half dime $90 📷
Proof
https://imgur.com/a/PhO1Bhq
SETS 📺 📷
Silver war nickel set $8
Dimes of the 20th century $6
Bill of rights silver 50c young collector set
$19
Buy all for $25 . Great deal.
Jewelry 💍
1 gram 10k earrings $25
7 gram. 925 bracelet $7
Take both for $31
https://imgur.com/a/H4Nrark
Rarities 🦜 📷
1/4 oz art bar gilded Halloween $35
1/4 oz art bar gilded Pug $35
COPPER 📣
Copper Cannabis Leaf 🍁 Round $2
2023 year of the Dragon 🐉 copper round $2
Lincoln Wheat Cent 1oz COPPER $2
Copper proof;
https://imgur.com/a/b6dcW1Y
🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 GOLD 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸
0 - 2021 New Hampshire 1 GoldBack $5 each - free ihp with purchase and ground shipping limit 4 ihp
I’m out of these, sell me or trade for cheap.
https://imgur.com/a/JBEAJ4j
Bank of America 10k pendant with seed pearls , I think it’s 3.6 grams. $120 📷
Bank of America 10k pin 📌 no pearls, $100
📷
Fractional silver
1 gram silver in card $1.70
📷 https://imgur.com/a/x4CsSMR
CANADA SILVER 🇨🇦 🍁
Canada 1955 50c $20 📷
Canada $1 1987 proof $20 📷
Superman $20 silver $25
Batman vs Superman Canada $20 silver coin $29
Bugs Bunny $20 silver $35
Star trek 2016 silver $20 coin. $35
2016 Canada $20 silver T-Rex $25
2014 Canada $20 Snowman $22 2014 Canada $20 silver summer swimming coin $22
Canada proof
https://imgur.com/a/bUSuicI
Bank bag assortment lot that I forgot:
Futurama Shut up and take my money 1oz - $45
From glass panther
vintage coke bar 1oz $65
2014 icg panda $42
St. Lucia 1 oz lizard 🦎 $35
Trump wanted $33
https://imgur.com/a/q8pR7c3
USPS priority box /envelope $10
USPS 1st class $6 up to 7 oz
Risky envelope shipping $2
I take Zelle and Venmo Cash App and Mailed Cash and small gold or 1 goldbacks @3.75
I make excellent packages but after I drop it off it is the responsibility of USPS
Proof:
https://imgur.com/a/Oli6nLG

The end of this month will mark two years since I found my partner suddenly deceased. He was 41.
Months before that, he started putting his hands around my throat. It’s difficult to tell anyone about this because it seems disrespectful to the deceased, and it seems like people don’t believe me or care, but it really messed me up.
I lost the majority of my friends after this, and I also isolated myself from society for a big chunk of the grieving process (which I feel I’m still in…).
My mother passed from brain cancer on Christmas Eve of 2018, and my father passed 6 months before our birthday (my 21st), in 2011.
The only blood relative I have left is an older brother who rarely talks to me, as his wife doesn’t seem to like me. We fought a lot when my mother was sick, and after.
When my mother was diagnosed, I instantly moved back to take care of her up until the day she died. My brother was barely around. We dealt with at home nurses who stole all of her valuables/family heirlooms, to me being stranded in Bermuda alone after she had a seizure and was hospitalized for two weeks until we were airlifted to a Florida hospital. I could go on about the trauma I’ve endured through this whole experience, but I digress.
A lot of people I felt the closest to have disappeared from my life. I feel very alone, and dating seems strange at a fresh 33. I feel like my mental health has declined significantly, I lack motivation to do anything, and the things I once found pleasure in doing, I no longer want to do. I tried out a couple of dating apps, but just have no interest in meeting anyone because I lack any confidence, and I’m afraid of getting close to someone and they die.
I guess I’m not really sure where I’m going with this… Maybe I’m just trying to find others who have experienced something similar. Or maybe I am looking for someone to tell me it’s going to be OK. I feel like I am a completely different person, not myself most days, and I don’t really know what I’m doing anymore.

Hornswogles career is very impressive for a man with dwarfism as he is a one time cruiser weight and had lots of moments (winning 2011 Christmas battle royal,his small Dx mascot run and Etc) But lots of people hate him due to him disgracing the cruiser weight championship according some people and some people hated him for being Vince McMahons illegitimate son (storyline) and for lots of other reasons

This is the list that I wrote for Oklahoma's execution roster since the nationwide reinstatement of capital punishment in the late 1970s. Something that should be mentioned is that given the nature of many death penalty related crimes, many of the descriptions contain very disturbing details. Please read at your own risk.
Florida's list is next, and I'll post my list for Texas once I've completed it. With Texas, I've currently finished 464 entries out of the 587 cases to date. That will probably take 7 or 8 posts for it all to be released, so I'll probably do two posts a day with Texas to avoid spamming the sub. At the end of this year, I'll repost the states that have conducted further executions with the updated information.
As with Missouri and Virginia, Reddit's maximum character count limitations forced me to divide Oklahoma's list into two separate parts. Here is the link to part 2.
The currently 124 executed offenders, cases 1 to 62:
1. Charles Coleman (~1950s-1990, lethal injection): A month after he was released on parole in 1979, Coleman broke into a house. While sacking it for any valuables, the homeowner’s brother and sister in law, 68 year old John and 62 year old Roxie Seward, walked in on him and were both shot dead. Coleman stole Roxie’s purse, several packets of frozen meat, and the homeowner’s watch during the burglary, and was arrested shortly afterwards. However, Coleman managed to escape custody, and went on a rampage that involved several burglaries, auto thefts, slitting the throat of a policeman in a failed murder attempt, the shooting death of 49 year old Russell Lewis Jr. in a carjacking, and the abduction of a deputy. The kidnapped deputy was rescued following an armed standoff with other police officers. Coleman had an extensive history of animal cruelty, armed robberies, assaults, and carrying concealed weapons convictions dating back to when he was 11 years old. He was also heavily suspected in the murder of his teenage girlfriend’s father, but was acquitted by the courts despite the prosecution’s strong belief in his guilt.
2. Robyn Parks (1977-1992, lethal injection): During a gas station robbery, Parks shot and killed Abdullah Ibrahim, a 24 year old Bangladeshi immigrant that worked as the attendant. According to Parks, he murdered Ibrahim for catching him using a stolen credit card.
3. Olan Randle (1980-1992, lethal injection): Randle invaded a home and shot the occupants, 41 year old Robert Swinford, Sinford's fiance 42 year old Averil Bourque, and Bourque's friend 38 year old Julia Lovejoy, dead. He took a pocket knife and several watches from the victims.
4. Thomas Grasso (~1970s(?)-1995, lethal injection): While living in Oklahoma, Grasso strangled 87 year old Hilda Johnson, the best friend of his girlfriend's grandmother, to death with her Christmas lights. He took $8 from her purse, several coins that added up to $4, and a television set that he sold for $125. Grasso then moved to New York, and strangled 81 year old Leslie Holtz for his social security check. The trialing arrangements caused some controversy, as the New York governors at the time were anti death penalty, and tried to prevent Grasso's extradition in favor of giving him a life sentence in their jurisdiction. Grasso had several previous convictions for theft and was fired multiple times for stealing from his jobs.
5. Roger Stafford (~1974(?)-1995, lethal injection): Stafford was condemned for killing at least 9 people in two separate robbery incidents with his brother and ex wife, though his ex wife claimed that he was involved with as many as 34 murders nationwide. The first convicted incident was when he and the ex wife carjacked and fatally shot a couple, 38 year old Melvin and 31 year old Linda Lorenz, and their son, 12 year old Richard. A few weeks after the Lorenz murders, Stafford stormed a restaurant and gunned down 6 employees, 56 year old Isaac Freeman, 43 year old Louis Zacarias, 17 year old Anthony Tew, 17 year old David Lindsey, 16 year old David Salsman, and 15 year old Terri Horst. One of Stafford's additional attributed victims was 20 year old Jimmy Berry, who was killed in the hold up of an Alabaman McDonalds, but he wasn't charged by the state due to his death sentences in Oklahoma.
6. Robert Brecheen (1983-1995, lethal injection): Breechen was involved in a feud over money with 59 year old Mary Stubbs and her husband. In an attempt to take what he perceived was owed to him, Breechen carried out a night time burglary of their home. While rummaging through the house, Breechen stumbled upon old Marie in her living room and shot her to death. The gunshots and screams awoke her husband, and he chased him away with his own gun.
7. Benjamin Brewer (1978-1996, lethal injection): Brewer raped his neighbor, 20 year old Karen Stapleton, in her home and stabbed her to death
8. Steven Hatch (1979-1996, lethal injection): Hatch and another assailant, Glen Ake, forced themselves inside the home that Richard Dougass, a 43 year old reverend, shared with his wife, 36 year old Marilyn, and their two children, 16 year old Brooks and 12 year old Lesile. The pair tied up the family and raped Lesile in front of her parents and brother. All four family members were shot, and Hatch and Ake ran off with $43 and the parents’ wedding rings. Richard and Marilyn were both killed in the shootings, while their children survived the attack. Ake was also initially condemned for the attack, but his sentence was overturned and resentenced to life following mental health concerns, and passed away from undisclosed natural causes in 2011.
9. Scott Carpenter (1994-1997, lethal injection): In a convenience store robbery, Carpenter stabbed the owner, 56 year old A. J. Kelley, in the neck, and hid the body in the minnow room. He filled his truck with $37 worth of gas from the pumps and drove away from the scene. His execution caused some controversy, as it was reported that Carpenter gasped and spasmed for 11 minutes after being injected.
10. Michael Long (1997-1998, lethal injection): Enraged that his coworker, 24 year old Sheryl Graber, refused him sex and started screaming for help, he stabbed her over 31 times. Long also shot and killed her son, 5 year old Andrew, for being a witness.
11. Stephen Wood (1992-1998, lethal injection): While heavily intoxicated, Wood stabbed two other homeless men, 46 year old Charles Stephen and 34 year old Charles Von Johnson, dozens of times each. He was given a life sentence for both of their murders. During his incarceration, Robert Brigden, a 59 year old former minister that was serving a 40 year sentence for molesting several girls between the ages of 4-14 in his congregation, moved into his unit after refusing to go into protective custody. Woods killed Brigden in a stabbing attack, and his sentence was escalated to death by the courts for it.
12. Tuan Anh Nguyen (~1982-1998, lethal injection): By all accounts, Nguyen was jealously possessive over his wife, 21 year old Donna. During one of their arguments over his behavior, he stabbed Donna, her 6 year old nephew Joseph White, and her 3 year old niece Amanda White, in their home and left the bodies to be found by the children’s parents. He fled to Arizona, groomed a 14 year old girl into an illicit “relationship”, and impregnated her. After he convinced her to move in with him, Nguyen physically and sexually abused the girl until she fled and went to the local police for help. Nguyen was then deported back to Oklahoma to face trial for Donna and the White children’s slayings, and was sentenced to death for them.
13. John Duvall (1986-1998, lethal injection): During a fight with his wife, 30 year old Donna, Duvall stabbed and suffocated her to death with a pillow.
14. John Castro Sr. (1983-1999, lethal injection): Castro carjacked Beulah Cox, a 31 year old Oklahoma State University student, after she picked him up hitchhiking and shot her to death. A few months later, Castro held up a restaurant with an empty pistol, and attacked the manger, 29 year old Rhonda Pappan, after forcing her to open the register. During their struggle, Pappan was fatally stabbed, and he took off with her purse. During his mid teens, Castro was allegedly molested by his mother. Castro's attorneys made the argument that his glimpses of Cox's buttocks reminded him of his mother's reported abuse, and he was triggered into attacking her for it.
15. Sean Sellers (1985-1999, lethal injection): In 1985, a then 15 year old Sellers tried to buy beer from a convenience store, but the clerk, 32 year old Robert Bower, denied him due to being underaged at the time. Sellers gunned him down in a fit of rage. A year later, Sellers shot and killed his mother, 32 year old Vonda Bellofatto, and stepfather, 43 year old Paul, in their sleep. Due to being 16 at the time of his conviction, Sellers remains the youngest condemned offender to have his sentence carried out in the post Furman era. He also attracted national media attention for claiming that his crimes were the result of demonic possession.
16. Scotty Moore (1983-1999, lethal injection): Moore was fired from a motel for undisclosed reasons. In retaliation, Moore and a cousin (whom he was dating at the time), assaulted the motel, and gunned down the desk clerk, 42 year old Alex Fernandez. According to court documents, the pair took a total of $97 in the robbery.
17. Norman Newsted (1984-1999, lethal injection): Newsted tricked Lawrence Buckley, a 26 year old cab driver, into picking him up. He shot Buckley dead and took his wallet. In an attempt to cover his tracks, Newsted placed the body inside the cab, and drove it into a creek near a local church. Despite his best efforts, Buckley’s cab and remains were discovered a day later by the church’s pastor.
18. Cornel Cooks (1982-1999, lethal injection): Cooks and his accomplice broke into the home of 87 year old Jennie Ridling. She was gagged, raped, and suffocated to death with gauze wrappings. According to autopsy reports, the pair abused her for over 2 hours. They then sacked the house for any valuables and left with her checkbook.
19. Bobby Ross (1983-1999, lethal injection): While robbing an inn, Ross fatally shot a police officer, 30 year old Steve Mahan, that tried to intervene.
20. Malcolm Johnson (~1970s(?)-2000, lethal injection): Johnson invaded the apartment of 76 year old Ura Thompson and sexually assaulted her. Thompson either died from having her chest compounded during the abuse or was suffocated by Johnson’s hands covering her nose. He seized several possessions such as furs, typewriters, purse, watch, rings, and a hand mirror, which were discovered by police in his residence during an unrelated investigation of a firearms possession charge. Johnson had an extensive criminal history, which included several convictions of rape, armed robberies, and burglaries. The case attracted controversy when it was discovered that the lead chemist in the investigation misconducted several of her other cases, and forged some of the evidence used in the trial. Despite the other overwhelming evidence to the contrary, Johnson’s supporters took the opportunity to push a narrative of his innocence.
21. Gary Walker (~1960s-2000, lethal injection): Walker abducted, raped, and murdered at least 5 women, 36 year old Margaret Lydick, 35 year old Jane Hilburn, 32 year old Janet Jewell, 25 year old Valerie Shaw-Hartzell, and 24 year old DeRonda Roy, and non fatally assaulted several other women and teenage girls. The victims were mostly strangled to death with their bras and panties. Some of them were forced to withdraw hundreds of dollars from ATMs before they were killed. He also strangled a man, 63 year old Eddie Cash, with an electrical cord while robbing his home. Walker had dozens of previous convictions for burglary, carjacking, drug possession, and carrying concealed weapons. Some of his earliest arrests occurred when he was a teenager.
22. Michael Roberts (~1988-2000, lethal injection): A career burglar, Roberts was condemned for murder of 80 year old Lula Brooks. She was raped and her throat was slit by an intruder in her home. Roberts' death sentence and execution has been contested, as he was convicted on his later recounted testimony alone. He claimed that the investigators tricked him into confessing with the promise of a plea deal that was allegedly withheld from him.
23. Kelly Rogers (1990-2000, lethal injection): Rogers’ girlfriend lured 21 year old Karen Lauffenburger into her apartment with a fake pizza order. They accosted her when she arrived with the delivery. After the couple forced Lauffenburger to hand to over the $40 she earned from the night's pizza deliveries and withdraw $175 from an ATM, Rogers raped and stabbed her to death. The body was left in Lauffenburger’s apartment and was found by her boyfriend.
24. Ronald Boyd (1986-2000, lethal injection): During a robbery spree of several gas stations and supermarkets, Boyd engaged in a shootout with the responding officers. A Master Patrolman, 32 year old Richard Riggs, was killed in the exchange.
25. Charles Foster (~1980s(?)-2000, lethal injection): Foster suspected a grocery store owner, 74 year old Claude Wiley, of making sexual advances at his wife. He arranged for her to entice Wiley to their home with an order. When he arrived with the delivery, Foster stabbed and bludgeoned him to death with a baseball bat. He a history of convictions involving threats and violence, though my sources didn’t disclose any specific details.
26. James Robedeaux (1978-2000, lethal injection): In 1978, Robedeaux strangled his first wife, 30 year old Linda, and plead guilty to a second degree murder charges. He was released after serving 6 out of a 25 year sentence despite an escape attempt. In the following year, he began a relationship with 37 year old Nancy McKinney while he married a different woman. During an argument, Robedeaux beat McKinney to death, dismembered her body with a saw and machete, and scattered the remains across the state. While being investigated for McKinney's murder, he was arrested for choking and beating his estranged second wife. The cases were incidental and kept separate by the courts.
27. Roger Berget (~1985-2000, lethal injection): Berget carjacked and abducted 33 year old Rick Patterson with an accomplice, and shot him dead. He also admitted to the beating death of a roommate, 40 year old James Meadows, on the behalf of the man's wife. As a trivial side note, Berget's brother Rodney was executed in 2018 by the state of South Dakota for killing a prison guard [for more information, please see Rodney Berget's entry under the South Dakota section of my states with less then 10 executions post].
28. William Bryson (1988-2000, lethal injection): To collect a $300,000 life insurance policy, Marilyn Plantz recruited her boyfriend Byrson and his friend to kill her husband, 33 year old James. Byrson and his friend ambushed Plantz in his house as he was coming home from work and beat him to death with a baseball bat. With the intentions of staging an accident, Marilyn ordered the pair to burn the body in the couple's pickup truck.
29. Gregg Braun (1989-2000, lethal injection): Across several states, Braun shot and killed 4 women, 48 year old Geraldine Valdez, 31 year old Gwendolyn Miller, 28 year old Mary Rains, 27 year old Barbara Kochendorfer, and one man, 54 year old Pete Spurrier, while robbing stores.
30. George Wallace (~1970s-2000, lethal injection): Known as "the Mad Paddler" due to his habit of spanking abducted preteen and teenage boys with a wooden paddle, Wallace kidnapped his victims by posing as a police officer. After duping his targets into thinking that they were being arrested, Wallace restrained them with handcuffs and leg chains. The captives were then sexually abused and shot or stabbed to death. His crimes were exposed when an 18 year old man he abducted escaped from him despite being shot and stabbed numerous times. By his own admission, Wallace murdered 18 year old Thomas Reed, 15 year old William Domer, 14 year old Mark McLaughlin, 14 year old Jeffrey Foster, and 12 year old Alonzo Cade.
31. Eddie Trice (1987-2001, lethal injection): Trice snuck into the home of 84 year old Ernestine Jones and raped her. After he beat Jones to death with numbchucks, he terrorized and extorted her cognitively disabled son of $500 with threats of killing him if he told anyone of the murder. The son was also assaulted with a hammer, and he received injuries to his right eye, right cheekbone, and his right forearm.
32. Wanda Allen (~1981-2001, lethal injection): In 1981, Allen got into a fight with her live in girlfriend, 21 year old Dedra Pettus, and shot her dead. Despite giving a bungled story about her being accidentally killed in a shootout with Pettus’ ex boyfriend to the investigators, Allen managed to secure a 4 year sentence for manslaughter after pleading guilty to a plea deal, and was released after serving two years. While incarcerated, she started dating a fellow inmate, 29 year old Gloria Leathers, and continued their relationship outside of prison. The couple’s relationship was marred with extreme domestic violence on Allen’s end. In one incident, Allen struck Leathers with a rake. In 1989, while they were arguing in front of a shopping center, Allen shot and killed Leathers. Leathers herself also had history of violence, and had a conviction for stabbing a woman to death. Allen and her defense team tried to use Leathers’ previous convictions to make a self defense argument, but that was shot down by the courts.
33. Floyd Medlock (1990-2001, lethal injection): 7 year old Katherine Busch went to visit her family's old apartment, which Medlock was residing in, by herself. Busch knocked on the door and Medlock let her inside after she begged for food. He then choked and sexually assaulted the girl, dunked her head in a toilet bowl, and stabbed her to death. The body was hidden in a nearby dumpster. Busch's grandmothers were staunch pro capital punishment and anti death penalty activists respectively, and their public feud over Medlock's sentence and execution attracted some media attention. Medlock also had an extensive criminal history despite being only 19 at the time of Busch's murder, and was previously arrested several times for indecent exposure, arson, armed robbery, and marijuana possession.
34. Dion Smallwood (1992-2001, lethal injection): Smallwood walked into the home of his ex girlfriend's adoptive stepmother, 68 year old Lois Frederick, without invitation. He had a tumultuous and often violent relationship with her adopted stepdaughter that she strongly opposed, and they broke up under her pressure. After an argument, Smallwood knocked Frederick unconscious with a croquet mallet, locked her in a car, and burned her alive in it.
35. Mark Fowler (1985-2001, lethal injection): To get back at his ex employers for firing him, Fowler and his partner, Billy Fox, stormed a supermarket that he used to work out. The pair rounded up 3 employees, Chumpon Chaowasin, a 44 year old Thai immigrant, 33 year old Rick Cast, and 27 year old John Barrier, at gun point. Their hostages were shot, clubbed, and stabbed to death, and they took over $2,7000 in cash and checks.
36. Billy Fox (1985-2001, lethal injection): Fox assisted the above mentioned Mark Fowler in robbing a supermarket and murdering 3 of its employees
37. Loyd Lafevers (1985-2001, lethal injection): Lafevers and his accomplice, Randall Cannon, kidnapped 84 year old Addie Hawley from her home. She was raped, trapped in the trunk of a car, and burned alive in it. Although she was rescued, Hawley died from her injuries 6 hours later. The pair stole Hawley's wedding ring and Lafevers gifted it to a stripper. As Hawley's nephew was a Colorado state senator, her murder gained some attention from media outlets.
38. Dorsie Jones Jr. (1979-2001, lethal injection): While drinking at a bar, a barmaid chastised Jones for carrying an unconcealed gun. He shot at her in a fit of rage, but missed and injured his female companion instead. Jones then turned his attention to the other patrons and fired on them. 48 year old Stanley Buck Sr. was killed in front of his 19 year old son, who was also wounded in the shooting.
39. Robert Clayton (~1980s-2001, lethal injection): Clayton attacked 19 year old Rhonda Timmons while she was sunbathing near her apartment. She was raped, stabbed, kicked in the head, and strangled to death with her swimming suit. Her husband found Timmons' body laying next to their infant daughter, who was left unharmed. Clayton had a previous rape conviction in Tennessee and a robbery conviction in Texas.
40. Ronald Fluke (1997-2001, lethal injection): Out of despair that his gambling addiction drove his family to near poverty, Fluke shot and killed his wife, 44 year old Ginger, and their daughters, 13 year old Kathryn and 11 year old Susanne, while they were sleeping in their bedrooms. He initially attacked Ginger with a hatchet, but turned to shooting when she fought back.
41. Marilyn Plantz (1988-2001, lethal injection): The married girlfriend of William Bryson. As mentioned under Bryson's entry, Plantz arranged for him and his friend to kill her husband James to collect his life insurance policy.
42. Terrance James (1983-2001, lethal injection): While awaiting trial for a theft of government property charge, James and two accomplices strangled a fellow inmate, 25 year old Mark Berry, with wire out of their suspicions of him being a snitch. They then hung the body in an attempt to make it look like a suicide. Berry was another party in the theft of government property case, and James and his accomplices believed that it was his testimony that got them arrested.
43. Vincent Johnson (1991-2001, lethal injection): Johnson gunned down 44 year old Shirley Mooneyham in her home. The prosecution believed that Mooneyham's boyfriend arranged the killing to collect a life insurance policy, but he was acquitted at trial.
44. Jerald Harjo (~1980s-2001, lethal injection): Harjo snuck into the bedroom of 64 year old Ruth Porter, raped her, and suffocated her with a pillowcase. He then snatched Porter's car keys and drove off with her van. His past criminal history was extensive, and was in prison numerous times for burglary and autotheft.
45. Jack Walker (1988-2001, lethal injection): Disgruntled with the custody dispute over their then 3 month old son, Walker stabbed his ex girlfriend, 17 year old Shelly Ellison, and her uncle, 30 year old Donald, 32 and 11 times with an ice pick during a confrontation at their home.
46. Alvie Hale Jr. (1983-2001, lethal injection): Hale kidnapped 24 year old William Perry to extort a $350,000 ransom from his banking family. When the negotiations failed, Perry was shot dead, and Hale buried the body on his father's property.
47. Lois Smith (1982-2001, lethal injection): Smith, her son, and a female accomplice abducted her son's ex girlfriend, 21 year old Cindy Baillee, from an airport out of fear her testifying of his involvement in the drug trade. Baillee was taken to Smith's ex husband's house, and stabbed in the throat by her ex boyfriend while driving to their destination. Inside the home, she was taunted by Smith with a gun, and was shot 7 times in the chest and 2 times in the back of the head. While her son was reloading the gun, Smith jumped on and crushed Bailee's throat.
48. Sahib Lateef Al-Mosawi (1992-2001, lethal injection): Following a dispute over their newborn son's name, Al-Mosawi's estranged wife, 26 year old Inaam Al-Nashi, fled to the apartment of her uncle, 45 year old Mohammed. Al-Mosaw attacked the pair in the apartment and stabbed them to death. Inaam's sister was also stabbed, but she managed to escape with her life. The couple and their families were refugees from Iraq that were displaced by the First Persian Gulf War, and they fled into the United States.
49. John Romano (1985-2002, lethal injection): Romano and his accomplice David Woodruff robbed and murdered two of their acquaintances. One of the victims, 63 year old Lloyd Thompson, was attacked in his apartment. Thompson was held down by the pair while they stabbed him 22 times and served his spinal cord. The other victim, 52 year old Roger Sarfaty, was tied up, beaten, stabbed 5 times, and strangled to death in a jewelry store he owned. In the robberies, Romano and Woodruff stole several pieces of jewelry from Sarfaty, and took most of Thompson’s quarter collection.
50. David Woodruff (1985-2002, lethal injection): As mentioned under John Romano's entry, Woodruff took part in the robbery murders of Lloyd Thompson and Roger Sarfaty.
51. Randall Cannon (1985-2002, lethal injection): Cannon assisted Loyd Lafevers in abducting, sexually assaulting, and burning Addie Hawley alive in her car. Although he was acquitted of molesting Hawley, Cannon was still condemned for his part in the kidnapping and murder.
52. Earl Frederick Sr. (~1989-2002, lethal injection): Frederick beat Bradford Beck, a 41 year old veteran that was crippled during his service in the Vietnam war, to death in his home after befriending him. He ransacked the house and dumped Beck's body in a field. A second murder, the robbery and shooting death of a Texan man, 77 year old Shirley Fox, was also tied to him. However, authorities in Texas withheld from prosecuting Fredrick due to his death penalty trial and conviction in Oklahoma. Both Fox and Beck had physical disabilities, which led prosecutors to the conclusion that Frederick intentionally selected and depredated on disabled men.
53. Jerry McCracken (~1980s(?)-2002, lethal injection): McCracken and his accomplice shot up a bar, killed 3 patrons and the bartender, and made off with $350. The victims that lost their lives were 41 year old Carol McDaniels, 37 year old Timothy Sheets, 34 year old Steven Sheets, and 27 year old Tyrrell Boyd. Months before the mass shooting, McCracken was paroled after serving time for stabbing 3 people in a bar fight.
54. Jay Neill (1984-2002, lethal injection): During a bank robbery, Neill disemboweled and nearly decapitated 3 tellers, 42 year old Kay Bruno, 25 year old Joyce Mullenix, and 19 year old Jerri Bowles. A group of 4 customers, consisting of 33 year old Ralph Zeller, a married couple, and their 14 month old daughter, unwittingly walked in on him, and he herded them into a backroom to be shot. Zeller was killed, the couple were wounded, and Neill left the daughter unharmed due to running out of bullets. Neill's boyfriend was given a life sentence for the robbery and murders, despite not being directly involved.
55. Ernest Carter Jr. (~1989-2002, lethal injection): After being fired from an autoshop, Carter robbed it with an accomplice, and fatally shot a security guard, 35 year old Eugene Manowski. The pair stole the shop's tow truck, and later tried to burn it with Carter's girlfriend to destroy any traces of the crime. Carter was also previously accused of burning a friend to death in the previous year, but the charges were dismissed.
56. Daniel Revilla (1987-2003, lethal injection): While babysitting his girlfriend's son, 13 month old Mark Gomez, in their home, Revilla broke the boy’s ribs in a beating and scalded him with boiling water. When he brought the boy to a hospital, Revilla gave a story that he accidentally hit Gomez’s head with a door handle, which was quickly seen through by the staff. According to the accounts of his girlfriend and her family, Revilla was violently abusive to Gomez, and they recounted incidents of him trapping the boy in a kitchen drawer, dunking him in cold water, folding him into a pull up bed, and hanging him by his ankles with duct tape.
57. Bobby Fields (~1990s-2003, lethal injection): Fields shot and killed 77 year old Louise Schem while burglarizing her home. She had tried to shot him with her .25 calibre pistol, but he wrestled the gun away from her, and gunned her down with it. His intentions was to steal Schem's television set to sell for cocaine, but left empty handed after losing his nerves with the struggle and murder. According to court documents, Fields had a previous robbery and assault conviction, and several arrests for drug possession.
58. Walanzo Robinson (1989-2003, lethal injection): A member of the Gangster Bloods street gang, Robinson shot and killed 26 year old Dennis Hill, an affiliate of a rival gang, in a turf war over drug sales.
59. John Hooker (~1971-2003, lethal injection): As a teenager in 1971, Hooker attended a party at a friend's house, and got into an argument. In a fit of anger, he fatally shot 18 year old Alta Lang, and wounded two other partygoers. Due to the witnesses refusing to cooperate with the investigation and being unable to prove any calculated intentions, Hooker was given a manslaughter conviction, and released a few years later. After he was paroled, Hooker started dating Sylvia Stokes, and fathered several children with her. Their troubled relationship lasted for 8 years, and ended when Stokes filed a protection order against him. In retaliation, Hooker lured Stokes and her mother, 53 year old Durcilla Morgan, into his apartment and stabbed them both to death.
60. Scot Hain (~1980s-2003, lethal injection): Hain carjacked and abducted a couple, 27 year old Michael Houghton and 22 year old Laura Sanders. After taking $565 and some bags of clothing, he forced them into the trunk of their car at gunpoint, and burned them alive in it. He had several previous arrests for robbery, and was involved with a number of rapes and attempted kidnappings months before the Houghton and Sanders' murders.
61. Don Hawkins Jr. (1985-2003, lethal injection): Hawkins kidnapped 29 year old Linda Ann Thompson and her two daughters, aged 4 years old and 18 months old, from a mall. Although his original intentions were to ransom off Thompson and her children, Hawkins gang raped the captive woman with his cousin and his girlfriend's teenage nephew, and drowned her in a lake. Thompson's children were spared and simply left with a babysitter. Hawkins and his accomplice then went on a nation wide rampage with his accomplice that involved the abductions and rapes of several grown women and teenage girls, hanging 31 year old David Coupez of Colorado in his home while robbing him, and countless other robberies.
62. Larry Jackson (~1984-2003, lethal injection): In 1984, Jackson shot and killed his girlfriend, 19 year old Freda Washington. He accepted a plea deal that dumbed down the charges to second degree murder, and was given a 30 year sentence for it. During his incarceration, Jackson started a relationship with 29 year old Wendy Cade. Despite her promises of marriage after his release, Cade left him for another man, and they got engaged. When Jackson was assigned to a prison work crew, he snuck out and went to confront Cade. Reportedly, the two had bought alchool, cocaine, and cigerates together and had sex in Cade's apartment. However, they got into an argument, and he slashed Cade's throat and stabbed her 31 times with box cutters. Jackson then left with her jewelry, watch, and the keys to her jeep.

Explore Past and Present is a new full album with ten scorching rockers which includes seven brand new songs and three older songs including alternate versions of Let's Get It Together and Annihilate plus a remaster of Rock On Move on from Rock It released 2011.
Mixed and mastered by Mariano from Sonic Synthesis Studio!
Let's Get It Together mixed by Mr. Jackson Haymond who has credits for Alice Cooper's 2022 Christmas album featuring Mr. Ronnie Romero (vocalist of Rainbow, Elegant Weapons, Lords of Black) Mr. Martin Motnik (bassist of Accept) and Mr. Bodo Schopf (drummer for Michael Schenker) Menacing mixed by Ms. Ankha Nel: Multi Platinum and Gold awards for Audio Engineering over 30 years experience, in many different styles of music. Ankha Nel, Positions held in the audio industry, Chief Engineer E.M.I Studios and Chief Engineer Downtown Studios. Freelance: Bop Studios, KayDee Studios, Delarey Studios (Decibel), S.A.B.C Annihilate features Mr. Scott Foster Harris on vocals former vocalist for LA Guns mixed by Mr. Sam Koop (Sound Designer for Iron Maidens Legacy of the Beast) Rock On Move On goes back to the 2011 release of the album Rock It originally mixed Mr. Ray Tilkens who's worked with many musicians including Wino and The Obsessed plus numerous appearances on other albums. Make a Change features Mr. Rev Jones on bass guitar who's played with Michael Schenker, Mountain, Leslie West and many other musicians.
Reviews from awesome professionals! Mariano: Once again, it was a pleasure to have worked with Eric, always kind, collaborative, and clear in his objectives with his projects. Thank you very much for trusting in my work again. Rev Jones: Great session. Cool tunes. Easy to work with.
Ronnie Romero: https://ronnieromero.online/ Scott Foster Harris: / scottfosterharris Martin Motnik: https://www.martinmotnik.com/ Bodo Schopf: https://www.bodoschopf.com/ Rev Jones: https://www.revjones.com/
Thanks for watching be sure to subscribe and click the notification bell to stay alerted of new content, track listing is below.

1. Let's Get It Together (alternate version feat. Ronnie Romero, Martin Motnik, Bodo Schopf): 00:00
2. Menacing: 02:58
3. Many More: 07:04
4. Annihilate (alternate version feat. Scott Foster Harris): 09:13
5. Fear Not: 14:33
6. Entranced: 18:23
7. Explore: 21:00
8. Make a Change (feat. Rev Jones): 24:48
9. Rock On Move On (Remaster from the album Rock It): 29:10
10. Navigate: 34:18

LOOOOOOOORE SUNDAAAAAAAAY

What is this thread for?

Curious about the lore for a TM franchise you haven't consumed? Got theories and need cited source material? Want to know how the laws of Nasuvese works on a fundamental level? Need to find that one line you can't find proof of anywhere because TM wiki is hilariously unreliable?
This is the place!
This thread will be a Q&A sort of location that will serve as a "lore library" of sorts that you can use for any inquiries.
This is NOT meant to be a place for containing all lore discussion and theory posts, as those are still highly encouraged to be submission posts outside of this thread so more people can see your ideas!

Translated Source Material Links

• TMdict - contains all Side Material translated
• Chaldea Records - Compilation of in-game profiles and materials
• TRI-HERMES Lore Database ~ WIP

FGO Materials

• Story Summary Compilation
• Event Summary Compilation
• Interlude Summary Compilation
• Material Profile Translation Compilation
• FGO Arcade Lost Jerusalem Part 1 Translations
• FGO Arcade Lost Jerusalem Post-Raid Translations
• Camelot Zero, premise of Camelot singularity written on Nasu's Blog
• FGO Arcade Babylon Translations

Anime

• Kara no Kyoukai Movie Series
• F/SN Unlimited Blade Works - Ufotable
• Fate/Zero
• Fate/Kaleid Liner Prisma Illya - Trust me, just read the manga.
• Fate/Grand Order - First Order
• Emiya Gohan
• Lord El-Melloi II's Case Files {Rail Zeppelin} Grace note
• Fate/Grand Order - Moonlight Lostroom
• Fate/Grand Order - Demonic Front: Babylonia

Note: Nonexistent Tsukihime anime and first two of the Heavens Feel Trilogy Movie Series can be found in the internet somewhere, I believe in you to find them. Wink wink.
Note 2: Fate/Apocrypha and Fate/Last Encore can be found on Netflix, along with Deen/Stay Night as well as Zero, UBW, and First Order.

Manga

• Tsukihime Arcuied Route
• Melty Blood , Act 2 , X
• Kara no Kyoukai
• Fate/Zero
• Prisma Illya, 2wei , 3rei
• FSN Heaven's Feel
• Koha Ace GO
• Fate/Extra CCC Foxtail
• Fate/Apocrypha
• FGO Turas Realta
• FGO Mortalis Stella
• FGO EoR Shinjuku
• FGO EoR SE.RA.PH.
• FGO EoR Shimosa
• FGO EoR Salem
• Fate/Strange Fake
• Fate/Type Redline
• FGO From Lostbelt
• Case Files
• Emiya-san chi no Gohan

Note: You can support a lot of the aforementioned manga officially through this website! https://web-ace.jp/tmca/

LNs

• Angel Notes
• Kara no Kyoukai
• Fate/Zero
• Fate/Apocrypha
• Prototype Fragments Volume 1 Complete PDF + Volume 2 Full Translations + The Rest of the Translations
• Fate/Requiem Volume 1
• Fate/Strange Fake
• Lord El Melloi II Case Files
• El Melloi Adventures Volume 1 Summary

Drama CDs

• Garden of Avalon
• Heroic Spirit's Lore Strange Tales: Edmond Dantes

VNs and Games

• Tsukihime and English patch if you want to play the VN, get VN Separately ​
• Kagetsu Tohya English patch for VN
• FSN All 3 Routes and English patch for VN
• FSN Fate Route ReTL
• Fate/Extella
• Fate/Hollow Ataraxia English Patch
• Fate/Extra English patch
• Fate/Extra CCC Gilgamesh Route and ZVN's Video typeset Playthrough
• Tsukihime Remake Arcuied Days 1-5 English Patch ​

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. I forgot. My son's father never has him make me a card or buy me a box of chocolates or call me. And I won't have my own mother to call. So it slipped my mind until I looked over my sales numbers last night and realized customers were stockpiling for something. And today was strange and brought up a lot of thoughts Ive had over the last few years so Im posting them to meander while i wander and to get it off my chest.
And today was a strange day indeed. I woke up to a call from my brother. Usually that ringtone is reserved for my boss so when I rolled over in bed and realized it was my brother calling I was confused. My brother and I haven't spoken in nearly 6 months since we had a conversation where he said I'm "just like mom". The meme on its surface was benign and I know he didn't mean any malice behind it, simply the banter of two abused siblings and their patter, but the words stung. I didn't handle myself with grace and dignity at the time - I lost my temper, wrote him a barrage of messages about how insulting it was to be compared to the woman who had emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and sometimes physically ruined us to the point that none of her three children speak to her, none of which have the same reason,, and that I wouldn't be speaking to him until an apology had been given in good faith. I waited a few days and when no apology came, I blocked him on all but one app, texted our dad about the situation and how hurt I was, and moved on. Christmas, New Years, his birthday came and went, and we haven't spoken.
Back in 2021 when the world was ending, my mother fell down the QAnon rabbit hole. She has always been a religious woman which was the crux of our constant loggerheads, but she fell further into the ideology of Trump as saviour, 5G microchips, vaccinations. Despite her verbal and emotional abuse, my mother was always a believer in medicine which I respected so to see this contrast was abrupt and alarming. She had us vaccinated as children and young adults, she works as a care aide in a palliative care ward. And yet suddenly she was touting that the vaccinations were being forced, started sending me Trump memes. The irony of us being Canadian vis a vis her Trump support wasn't lost on my child who asked me if she was okay after one of her unhinged rants about how Donny was gonna save us all. When your then 5 year old asks you if grammy is mentally well you take stock.
And my mother herself grew up in an abusive home. Her parents raised foster children for additional income that her father molested, he deliberately gave her Hepatitis C, they came from noblesse but were the black sheep. Hours long "tea parties" where we learned etiquette were drilled into us early, a stagnant reminder of her parents familial orbit in political circles; out of a sense of loyalty she remained close to her mother at the least until the old womans death. So it's not shocking that she would perpetrate the abusive behaviour on her own children. I somehow got the worst of it being born with two X chromosomes when she "hated little girls because little girls grow into little bitches" but my brothers had their struggles too. My older brother left home at 18 because she somehow managed to parentify him and hold him under lock and key to the point he enlisted in the navy to get away from her. His last straw was when she called his wife a cunt (of all the things she ever said to him that was the one that MAYBE might have been 90% accurate, fuck you KK). That was in 2009. In 2011, my dad finally grew tired of her abuse of him specifically. He wasn't even AWARE of what was happening with us kids bc she'd conditioned us that if we said anything he wouldnt believe us - to this day, after hearing us tell him the truth, he feels such second hand guilt he spoils us rotten. He left her - my younger brother chose to live with my dad so she sold his car that he'd inherited from her parents (I got nothing in the inheritance because of those pesky xx chromosomes) to "pay [her] back" for all the money "[she] spent raising him". Never mind that he was 18, the car was in his name, and it was her duty to raise him as, you know, a parent. I held on desperately wanting my mother to love me, to treat me well. I begged my brothers to give her another chance, to let her back in. I gave up by 2013 but kept in contact for my son who was born in 2015. By 2021 I was starting to crack.
Late in 2021, just shy of my 31st birthday, I finally snapped in half. My mother posted a meme to Facebook where she compared the mask mandates to the holocaust and used a real photo of real people who died in the showers at Auschwitz as a shock tactic. My skin burned as I looked at the post and I wrote a scathing remark. I made very sure to do it in her comments because I knew when people asked why I'd gone scorched earth she would twist my words because she has done so a million times. I made it extremely clear that her ideology and mine had finally collapsed like a black star and I could not have her near my child's malleable brain spewing her filth and untruths. That I would not allow him to grow up with her hateful heart influencing him and that I was choosing to be a better mother than she'd been by first protecting him from her and her dangerous views.
She'd already endangered his paternal nana's life once (she's a transplantee) by showing up at my house unvaxxed and maskless when she works in a fucking hospital. That I put up with quite a lot of her shit over the years because she is my MOM and i love her but I cannot do this anymore. I then blocked her, called my ex to let him know what I had done since they live in the same town so she might try to circumvent me to see our son so he was prepared (and he was fully on board for bc he trusts my dad wholeheartedly but trusts my mom as much as he trusts a scorpion in his palm) and left it alone. She left me a few vms but by January I stopped hearing from her.
So today I rolled over in bed to see my brothers name and well....we haven't talked since our fight so....it's probably important. I hesitated to pick up but what if it's about dad? I answered and gave a tight "hello", my first in months. His voice was so familiar and my chest felt so tight.
The convo started as I expected - he had something important to tell me. I braced for it and then he said "uncle rodger passed away last week". I couldn't help but laugh. Uncle rodger was my moms oldest sibling, I think he was like 15 years older than her so he'd be nearly 80? I met him a grand total of MAYBE 5 times in my entire life, we had exactly ONE conversation in 2011 at my moms father's funeral. Her dad abused rodger badly and he'd gone to the funeral to basically spit on his dads grave, his daughter knitted during the funeral and mockingly laughed whenever anyone said a kind word - a sentiment shared by all his granddaughters equally. mom forced me to attend for "family optics" as her dad was related to several politicians who were in attendance. Uncle rodg and I had a smoke on the balcony and talked about what a giant piece of shit Andrew was in life and how funny it was everyone was pretending to be sad over him being dead. He said "ur just as smart as mom says u are" and I said "idk how the fuck she'd know that she can't even spell my name properly and she's my own grandmother" and he laughed ironically. It was a bonding moment for sure but we'd never spoken before and haven't since so i was confused as to why my brother thought I'd even care about poor old Uncle rodg.
When my son was born, my ex and I agreed on one thing- our son would be raised agnostically and that we would teach him about religion, but that he'd be free to choose on his own what he believes in and we would be supportive if he did eventually choose to follow religion but not actively participate. To that end, we forbade my mother from bringing him to church or Bible study. On one occasion where I trusted her to babysit she sent me a photo of my son, then aged 3, with a small child. "They're having a great time!" She captioned. "Where are you?" I inquired. She did not respond. The next day, when I picked him up she elaborated that they'd had an "impromptu" bible study session and brought him along. I flashed back to all the times I'd said I don't believe in God and she'd slapped me across the face. I decided not to let him spend the night at grammys anymore.
I laughed into the phone. "Oh noooooo I'm devastated about my uncle who died that I barely knew". My brother managed a half laugh - they HAD been in touch over the years and were adversaries. My brother, seeking some form of family had reached out over the years and met with antagonism and hostility which he would deliver back incisively.
Rodg was the oldest of 5, mom was the baby, and because of the age difference, the older 3 had their little clique and mom and the second youngest were always quite close, so by proxy my brother and I were quite close to uncle Henri. I grew apart from him after one too many rants about how much he loved Harper but my brother, always dutiful, has kept in somewhat touch. After broaching the news my brother let me know he'd also called uncle Henri to give his condolences.
And then he said something very interesting. He told me uncle Henri said "you know, your mother misses you. You should get in touch with her. She has three children and none of them speak to her and she doesn't understand why". My brother obviously brushed him off; he hasn't spoken to her in over a decade, why would he now? Then my brother gently said to me "you know, there's an irony, that she was treated badly and did the same thing to her own children but doesn't recognize it.". It wasn't a direct apology, but I recognized it for what it was - a tacit admission that we'd both endured hell, and he'd chosen this moment to tackle this subject with me without using the words "im sorry", but also to let the gates of communication reopen again so we could go back to whatever normal we had. He was acknowledging my abuse for real, something he'd never done. He was sorry.
The rest of the conversation was brief. We each gave a quick update of our lives as if nothing ever happened and said we'd chat soon; I suppose thats how it goes when you love someone very much but have a stupid argument where you're not mad at each other but take it out on each other.
I relayed the conversation to my partner and as I did so something struck me - when my uncle said "she doesn't understand". All three of us explicitly told her exactly why we were cutting her off when we did so, so there's nothing to misunderstand. My partner said "some people think the world is happening to them". If my uncle had said "she feels badly about everything and wants to apologize or start over" that would be a completely different beast, but she truly sees this as something the world has done to her rather than something she has created. The irony is the best lesson my mother ever taught me is that when you point a finger at someone, there are three pointing back at yourself. It's a shame she can't see it.
So tomorrow is mothers day. I won't be celebrating, I'll be thinking about ways I can do things differently for my own son. There will be no benediction for my mother, but maybe I can save myself.
And to those of you who also have narcissistic mothers, may you have a day of peace, may you not feel guilty if you cut her off, may you tell your own story and find some catharis

TW also for self harm and I guess existential thoughts, depression.
So this culminated to a point for me last year during my birthday in the fall(won't specify, not sure if she uses reddit). I'll give a simple current event summary and then relay past events leading up(me is me, CS(31f): crap sister, LS(26) little sister, ES(36): eldest sister(only here sometimes, as she moved out shortly after her 18th, and then back and forth after tha), Mom(58): mom. SO(same age): ex-partner from junior year HS till age 24. I am trans male, but due to happening after most of these events, that doesn't really have any merit to this story, other than small details, like clothing)
I(28m) decided after not hearing anything on my birthday, and nothing before that since helping her get money for moving state after a divorce(an investing app offered her 1000 if so many people used her link to invest a free 5 dollar gift), to stop all contact and remove my sister from my social media accounts.
When we were kids, CS was the worst. Ever since I could remember, she showed a huge dislike for me. I don't haveamy good memories of her, and the ones I do, are followed, or closely accompanied by a bad memory. I don't have a lot of examples, since the good wasn't really that significant anyway(think, gifting me a stuffed animal when I was in the he hospital for abdominal pains at 8 or 9 years of age, then, after finding that it was a relatively minor issue that happened to cause a huge discomfort. I was told to drink plenty of water, and for my mom to give me a kids Tylenol if needed. She then snatched it back the next day and while I don't remember the exact words, made it clear that I only deserved it if I was really injured, and had wasted time). This was kind of a small(but very impactful) issue that still sticks with me today. I have to convince myself to go to he doctor to have certain issues checked. I recently only went because the numbness in my hands was getting worse, and I was told I had clear symptoms of carpal tunnel(I work in a kitchen, heavy lifting and fine hand movements are often). I also have a ganglean cyst, that has spawned a secondary cyst, in my left wrist, but that's another story.
She always put me down any time I did anything. Even looking at her the wrong way was infuriating to her(I didn't know what she was talking about until just a few years back, but I am diagnosed ADHD and suspected on the autism spectrum. I live on my own and have had a relatively independent life since I could physically and legally do so, just small aspects need extra attention). I'd ask her what she meant, and she'd yell at me. I wasn't rude either. CS:stop looking like that! Me trying to make my face more..plain?: like what? I'm sorry CS: stop it!, you know what you're doing! And you're doing it on purpose. Me: I'm sorry! I really don't know how I'm looking at you, I don't know what you want(I'm crying at this point) CS, getting up to hit me, like always: you KNOW what You're doing, Now stop it!
At that point, my mom had come in and yelled at my sister to calm down(I don't remember what all was said, I was maybe 6 or 7 and don't have the best time remembering the days with her) and that if she didn't like that way I looked, she could go.
Note about my mom, she had left my abusive father and moved several states when I was less than 4, my baby sister not even a year. He tried getting the legal system to bring her back, as the state they had lived in had always done. They told him that it didn't work that way, and they were legally separated. He was told to pay child support(guess how that went) and go to monitored visitation with us. That only happened a few times, and I only remember 2 of them. One visit, there was a person, I don't even recall the face, across the table, coloring and just doing art stuff. The second memory I have is us(me, CS, and LS. ES had a different dad who was not in the picture, and did not want to be. She stayed home). We played with toys in the waiting room for what seemed like forever, the sky was dark when we left. We never went to those meetings again(my dad apparently had told the caseworkers that if my mom wasn't required to meet with him as well, he wasn't interested in the he meetings). Since then, she has been a single mother, working as much as she could while still trying to balance raising us. I don't blame her for not being there, but I am a little disappointed that she never really admonished them, but merely, to this day, says that they may have been horrible then in the circumstances, but they still loved me.
Cue to elementary school, CS used to terrorize me, steal things I owned, destroyed things of mine. She was pretty stuck up and snobby to all of us, but it seemed to be targeted at me(her and ES did fight, instigation from both sides, and eventually made up some years later, but ES could and did fight back. When she could and was home. She worked too, and had a life later in high school, so that was understandable on her part, kind of) I, being younger, and, I guess, a little blind to some social and reactive cues at the time(I discovered I stare blankly while I listen to people. Facial reactions were too hard to focus on without losing attention to what was being said, if that makes sense). Any friends I had soon heard about the way she treated me, and the things she would accuse me of(not bathing, stealing, or just over embellishing embarrassing things about me to make people dislike me. Calling me fat, stupid, weird, etc). One of the only friends I had was a homeschooled girl. But I only got to see her on the weekends. Because my mom worked and ES had extracurriculars and later work(she is about 7.5 years older than me) we were watched by CS, and she didn't want to do the slightest bit of work doing so, which, flipped if it worked in or out of my favor often. Sometimes she'd be non-caring, allowing us to go to a neighborhood friend, so she wouldn't have to watch us. After having to come get us a few times, that stopped. One of the more traumatic times was when she decided to rig our doorknob(so that instead of a lock you flipped, it was a push knob, you push the knob into the door, turn the knob, and release. It's a non key locking system. I'm not sure if they are normally sold that way or if something happened, but it was installed backwards, so that you could lock someone inside of the room. Can you guess what happened? I was locked inside of my own bedroom, no food, no water, not even a bathroom break, during almost the entire 9 hours(mom worked 8 and commute) on a Saturday. I can't remember if LS was in there with me, but it's possible she was young enough to not even know what was going on, if she was in there. She's about 2 years younger than me, and this was when I was around 6/7. I was absolutely terrified. I cried, I screamed, I banged on the door. I begged to be let out for at least the restroom, which she refused, likely because I'd try to run and hide(the smart thing, duh). So there I was, freaking out that I had been locked in a room and cut off from all necessities. I don't stop crying until my mom came home, who, upon hearing the screaming, tore into CS about how wrong it was and what if we needed the bathroom or water, or even food. I don't remember her response(I probably don't want to) but my mom just glared angrily at CS as she left downstairs to her room. Mom made sure I got water, food, and restroom. I didn't mess up my room, that itself also created issues that I'll lay out later.
There are so many(too many) horrific memories from that time. It was hard all the time. I was insulted, isolated from my other siblings, and eve. Physically hurt. I'm not sure if the physical pain was worse though. I tended to forgive people very easily, and constantly, even into my early adulthood, tried my best to make her think better of me. She would steal clothes from me(cut them up to "fit her better". I was chunky, more medical than anything else, so with alterations, yes, they'd fit her. Like they'd fit an escort. Yes it's mean, but she's literally cut the pant legs off of jeans so that it was literally a jean thong. I only realized how terrible that was later on my teen years when fashion set in more within your social groups. And when they eventually didn't fit her(hah) she'd just throw them out and say they were a waste and wouldn't look good on me anyway. My mom told CS at the thrift store that she had to find outfits for me before finding herself some, and she would often try to just grab the first thing(usually ugly and wrong size) she could and the try to shop for herself(she was greedy with money. If CS found out a gift or piece of clothing one of us got cost more, she'd throw a fit and destroy our things. My mom once bought herself a vintage star Trek the original series collection, and because she didn't spend her tax return on CDs for CS, CS scratched up a bunch of the discs. My mom never even got to watch them before that. Some still played, but it felt like a loss). Mom didn't like that and said she had to help me find suitable clothes I liked. CS didn't like it, but obliged.
One of the larger things she did, when a 12/13 year old(I was 10) is she broke into an abandoned foreclosed house with a grown man, and stayed there for several days, or maybe a week or 2 . She ran from home often, blaming our mom for her issues was the norm for her. Everything was moms fault. Might've been her fault, though, was what happened next. My mom didn't want to call the cops on my sister, but knew confronting her alone and with an unknown man would be dangerous. So, probably against her better judgement, she handed me the phone(she worked at a cellular call center, in the early stages(2000's) of cell phones. She got them from the company for free, periodically). I called 911, per our mom's wishes. Explained my sister had broken into a house with a man and had been staying there. Once they heard that she was a minor, they didn't take long to get there. We sat up the road, in the car, watching it happen. Mom cried the entire time, but would not move from that spot until she saw that the cops had successfully taken her into custody. I just stared while it happened.
I know I shouldn't have had to make that call, but, due to being left alone all the time to my own devices, I had become quiet and usually kept my words and feelings to myself, and therefore seemed the most "emotionally stable" to handle it. Being put into that kind of spot was already happening with other issues, but they aren't relevant.
Over the years, more things happened that made me just want to be alone. LS even stopped being a target and was the precious baby sister (no issue with that in itself, but CS further alienated me from LS and I would once again be left alone. Being told I wasnt worth the time and that no one likes me, and if they did, it was because they pitied me, was an often occurance. My mom tried to stop it where she could but she had been met by the wrath of my sister(and before that, my father) for so long, she didn't want my sister to cause an issue that got us taken away from her. (We had been taken for some months due to some CPS workers believing my fathers lies about her being unstable and immoral. Given back due to no evidence, but with a struggle.) She didn't want to risk that again, so instead tried to keep the peace where she could. She had no family help, and was raising us all by herself. CS got physical, with even my mom, and it scared her. Out house was broken into numerous times by her ex boyfriends, ex friends, and people from..."groups" she used to hang out with. ES was also to the point of just not talking to CS or coming around that much anymore(after she moved out at 17. She also couldn't stand to be around CS)
An emergency later on with ES got her and CS bonding and acting like siblings that had a spat, and around that time is when LS was starting to get CS's attention. (I don't blame LS at all. It's not really her fault we never got to bond like siblings and even now don't know how to talk to one another freely). I still received the brunt of CS's wrath. She'd be nice, like offering some soda she bought, or some snacks, and then be a total b itch, sometimes going off and accusing me of stealing something.
CS: my chapstick is missing! Where is it? Me(roughly 8/9): why would I know? CS: don't talk back to me, I KNOW you stole it. now, where is it. Me, mumbling because I know what's going to happen:I don't know... CS: WHAT Me, wanting her to leave me alone: I DONT KNOW. CS: shut up, yes you do, I know you took it, now where is it??
At this point, I am crying and she has already hit me in he head and face a few times. After my refusing to answer, she just screamed and left me there, confused and wondering if I did take it.
She found it later. Never said a word or offered apology. This was a regular accurance all the way up until she moved out for the first time at 14. I learned to not use the phrase " I don't know" as often as I could because to her, it meant I wanted to hide something, because I obviously should know, and was choosing not to tell her and lie. It still happened, and yes, I got beat for it. We even moved school districts when I was 11(not related to the incidents) and I didn't want to make friends because I hated that they would eventually know her. It was rough to say the least.
A few years later, after CS moving in and out of home with boyfriend after boyfriend after boyfriend, starting at 14, I only had to deal with her while she was home, either between moving stints, or whenever she wanted to drop by and take things, like food or stuff she left with us. Sometimes she just took things. Mom was happy to see her come at all, so we dealt with it. While I heavily disliked the way she had treated me until then, I still wanted her to like me. So when she was home, I tried. When she lived with us for a few months at the age of 16/17, ES, now in her early 20s, living on her own, bought me and LS a laptop. It wasn't the best, but it was a laptop. Well, as you can guess, CS wanted to be able to use it too. Mom said we should because it was the nice thing to do and it would calm things down. So I made her a profile of her own. Not good enough. She wanted access to the main account, the one me and LS used. Now I wasnt into anything nefarious at the time, like p**n or anything, but I just don't want to give in to her being crazy and hovering. She looked for anything to yell at me for. She never once asked or yelled at LS for the password, even though LS knew it. It was my fault.
Next time I got the laptop back, the charger cord had some extra pieces stuck to it that I later found to be part of the internal charger port. She had literally ruined not only the charger, but the charging port in the laptop itself. Rendering it absolutely useless. Replacing that small part required the whole charger port to be replaced, and connections to be restored inside the laptop itself. So, it was a loss. No one seemed to ever be as mad as I was that this kept happening. Call me petty, but I held those memories as the deepest grudge, I still do. I kept pushing it down whenever she wanted to be nice to me, which in hindsight ended up being her needing something from me, sometimes even my company, because she couldn't keep authentic friends around. She got me stoned for the first time when I was 8 or 9 at one of her boyfriend's houses, and then gave me my first drink around the same age. Both with my mom not present. I was a child so when she told me not to tell in exchange for snacks and such, I obliged. I just wanted her to like me.
2 moments really stick out in the high school days before she left for several years to play wife to yet another guy. 1.The first was when we were actually hanging out in the kitchen of the family apartment, CS and ES were drinking and just catching up, while I was just by the kitchen drinking water. CS got pretty tipsy and, while walking into the kitchen, slipped and fell. She wasn't hurt or anything, it was just a small thing, and she ended up gigging and everyone laughed, like it was one of those fun family moments, y'know. Like in the shows. Well she looks and sees me laughing too, like literally everyone else. This is particular makes her mad and she gets right up and strides towards me. My mom yelled her name but before anything could happen, CS punched me right in the jaw. Only this time, I didn't fall, much less move more than an inch or 2. I already knew it was coming the moment she locked eyes with me. I stood my ground and just stared at her. I couldn't believe it. Even though I prepared for it, I still couldn't believe it. Everyone else has started laughing first. She had been gone for years. She herself thought it was funny. But seeing me, have fun at her expense, no matter how minuscule? No. Not happening. My mom asked her why she did it. She only looked at me, my face not even sad, just flat, like I felt nothing and hadn't been hit. But I didn't feel "nothing". I felt rage. Rage that, even at 14 and 15, even if others had joined, I was her target. She scoffed when family questioned her and stormed off. Nothing changed.

1. After that, I had issues with friends, yet again, because she was home. I, 16 at the time, tried to stay the night at a friend's house, but instead of getting input from my mom, I got CS. She demanded that I clean my "pig-sty" of a room. I shared a room with LS, and a lot of the things complained of, weren't mine. And even if I cleaned, the ADHD made it messy as I easily lost things and would flip my room in a panic. Regardless, I asked if I could talk to mom. Mom hesitated, but as well said no, likely because CS was there and my mom is, admittedly a pushover and a bit naive when it comes to them. CS was screaming at me on the phone, and my friend's mom heard it, and took the phone and asked for them(my mother, NOT my sister) to talk. After this, I told them my sister had issues and was a bad person(info with extra details omitted, but it's legal issues), and to not pay attention to the insults. Well friend's mom thought she should talk it over with my mom and I told her it's fine just discuss staying over, I'm not keen on going home.

My mom came after some minutes(we lived down the street), with, ugh, CS with her. I asked why she was there and her response was to make sure I "wasn't spreading sh it about her to gain sympathy". My mom went inside to talk to friend's mom and the big hit came. -Some background. I was depressed. Of course, with a sibling destroying any chance of normal social interaction and losing material items and even money, I wondered, from an early age, why. I didn't try to take my life up to that point, and anything I did was cuts, scratching, and punching. I did anything to control what I was feeling. I felt so many emotions, and some that I didnt know how to explain, some of which had followed me since childhood, that I couldn't get a hold of. So I turned to pain, something I could thoroughly control. It had been going on since I was around 12 in middle school, found out by my mom at 14/15, and I was actively in therapy(after arguing with ES and my mom that I needed therapy, and being told i was selfish). I was still 15 at the time. -Back to it. While my mother and my friend's mom were chatting, CS and I were arguing. I just wanted her to leave me alone, and told her so. The apartment walls werent the best, so CS overheard the things I had said about CS. None were lies, I just wanted someone to know. Deep down I still wanted her affection, but I wanted SOMEONE to hold her accountable at least. But it didn't end there. In the hallway, after hearing the main convo between the mothers, and hearing mine tell friend's mom that I fluffed up the issue because we dont get along, sibling rivalry(the usual excuse):
CS:I don't know why you have to blab so much, no one needs to know. Me: it's the truth. CS it doesn't matter. You don't even want to be here. If you're going to cut yourself, at least do it the right way.
I stopped talking and looked down after that. She smiled and continued waiting for our mom, while on her phone, probably the 4th one that year(she broke them often). It hurt. But hearing it didn't hurt as realizing that I felt it all the time. A grief from early childhood, that I didn't know the origin of, came back. I grieved myself. I still didn't know it then, I was just sad and numb. I thought death was the easy way out. Surely I didn't deserve the easy way. I continues the injuries, hiding them better and refusing to tell my therapist after a separate incident with my mom. Mom even stopped coming to the group therapy, and they told me it was specifically to help parents support their troubled kids, and if my mom wasn't showing up, I could no longer attend the group sessions. We would still have 1 on 1. But it made me feel even worse. Everyone in that group probably knew why I wanted there after 2 times with my mom absent. But I digress. After hearing my sister say that, I guess I became more serious about leaving everything and hoping for a better shot next time, if there was one.
Some months later, still 15 and in school I decided to try what I had heard: alcohol with a high number of any kind of pain pill. I took about 14-16(I don't quite remember, I just kept taking 2 at a time and quit counting at 12, just kept taking) of extra strength Tylenol. Took a shot or 2(or 4, I just did what I thought might be enough while not giving myself away) from ES bottle(she had moved home due to her living situation falling through), and went to school, hoping for the best(worst) I did get a little scared when I suddenly felt a spike in my heart rate, sweat, and a cold sweep through my body. This lasted several minutes, and I happened to be sitting at my desk in class, already having finished the assignment, so laying down on the desk looked normal. I waited and waited. The feeling got worse and worse, and painful, in my stomach and my chest. After a few grueling minutes of hoping it would happen, it didn't. While some residual pain remained in my abdomen, the other symptoms had calmed down. To say i was disappointed was a huge understatement. I went through the classes, saying nothing about having almost released myself from the harsh grip of empty reality. There wouldn't have been a point. I'd have been yelled at by my family for being selfish and wanting attention, just like when they had discovered my injuries and when I had asked for therapy. I was already threatened with being put into a mental ward for teens. Saying something and failing warranted worse consequences than not telling and succeding. So I kept silent and suffered. I decided that putting myself out wouldn't happen, and I would just deal.
I moved in with someone I was dating and their family just a few months after my 18th birthday(9 mo together). I hadn't even graduated yet, just finished credits early. CS had already moved out before that, but I just didn't want to be there any longer. I felt unsupported and pushed aside. Not to get into details, because it's not my story, but when LS was going through something(after I moved out), they dropped it all to help her and take her to therapy. Again, I don't blame LS. I may not like the way she handled her situation afterwards, but it happened nonetheless, and she was pampered by that demon and cared for by everyone else as the baby, so I've never had huge issues with her, but my family's reaction to her vs me was starkly different. Especially after being told several times by CS, ES and hinted at by my mom that I was always a little difficult, but not in a purposeful kind of way. Yet while I was "difficult" I was still thought to be relatively low maintenance due to the fact that I shyed away and prefered to do my own thing, alone. I mean, wouldn't you if you felt, no, if you knew, that certain family members just hated you, and others regarded you as difficult? When you just wanted love? I know that I wasn't normal like other kids, in that I didn't show clear emotion, or didn't know how to convey my feelings or needs. But I never tried to be an issue. But that's what I had always been told. That I was doing it at my own will, to make CS angry. I'm not even sure what about me always put CS off, but it weighed down for a while.
As an adult(18-20), it was better. Communication, but with less physical meetings, proved to at least be better for us. CS eventually started talking to me and my at-the-time SO, inviting us out. I think she needed company, because the man she chose to marry had all but cut out all male people from her life(don't feel bad, she did the same with his female friends)and her female friends were not always good friends, and maybe she knew that, deep down, I still wanted her approval. And boy was she right. We(me and SO, Same age) were always accepting her invitation. My SO had the train of thought that CS was at least trying, and that counted for something. At the time I agreed.
Around age 20, we were heading to Christmas with my family after SO's family celebration(we lived with them at the time, in hindsight a bad idea, totally separate issue). It was snowing and the car I was driving had belonged to SO's parents, so, respectfully, I requested to my SO that we pick up CS and take her to moms apartment(she hadn't moved since we left home, expenses and all). Well, SO was a momma's kid, and while we were getting ready to leave, SO told the parents about the extra trip and asked if that was ok. (At the time I don't think anything, but later on I realized that the mother was a huge control freak with attachment issues and the SO would always back her up in the end, even if there was a good chance we'd win an argument). Looking back, they definitely had an issue with my relationship with my family(mother mainly. Narcissist), but this was CS, and I already had reservations about her anyway. SO's parents said no, sorry. Unfortunately, SO was really dense(yes, I know, shut up) so I couldn't ask them to lie to their mother. I let CS know and was explaining that it wasn't my car and wasn't my idea to "get permission" from the owner(although, as mean on their part as it was, that had to be the case. I had only been given permission to use it for work of whenever me and SO went somewhere together. Yes, very controlling, but not the point). CS wouldn't listen. Instead, went on a tirade of how I was ungrateful and useless and all other insults that just echoed all of the childhood issues.
Story short, she ballooned the story to say that I told her I didn't want to take her and was being rude about it. ES texted me and told me not to come by at all(ES was paying a part of the bills and was an adult on the lease). No one would listen that this was just SO being dumb and, although yes I could've tried harder, it was not my fault. Myother called me that night and I cried, asking why my sister hated me. Why CS hated me. She could only say that sometimes people are angry and it's not our fault. While I appreciated her words, it didn't help. The gift I had for CS went unsent,(robe with her favorite design, Mary Jane) sat in my closet.
I mourned for a while but went on with my life, and that very next summer, I moved me and SO into an apartment. Made a deal with paying the car insurance and the basic gas/oil and regular maintenance costs, in exchange for just being able to drive the vehicle freely, and also I had my license for a year at that point(couldn't get it till 19, with my own cash and borrowing a car at the time), so they felt safer letting me use their car. Fair enough. moving on.
Some time goes by, and CS and ES end up falling out of touch again due to a made up issue(literally a dream where we made fun of her life and loss during her pregnancy. A dream. Mind you, she was also on substances this entire time, literally from the time she was like 11 or 12.) ES started talking to me again, claiming that she knew CS blew it out of proportion and just went along with it. Things go ok.1-2 years later Mom and ES move state. More things happen(kind of irrelevant since CS still isn't involved). Now LS and ES aren't speaking with me and CS comes in saying how she understands. I figured, it's was family, and I needed it. Right? And I was so confused on who to defend and back, my bio family or my SO, that seeing her, even with her sketchy SO, be able to have someone support her when she was put out, even if she was in the wrong and did the putting out, hit the family spot. Against everything, I started hanging out with CS. Up to this point , she hadn't apologized for anything really, but had given gifts, sent invites for holidays, and eve invited me, and sometimes SO over just to hang out(420 is legal in all the states I've lived in, so we had that in common at least). Start to not see CS in such a bright light since she has by that time(I'm 22 at the time) admitted to me that she cheats on her husband, they do hardcore drugs, and he avoids taxes, more stuff but I mainly ignore it cuz, hey, not my life, not my problem. Things go ok.
I leave my ex in 2019 and move out of my state in 2020 and in with family. Yay job closures. Now, this move was probably one of the worst, betraying, infuriating, heartbreaking things that I did as it showed some things about family that I really ignored since I hadn't created an irreversible issue until I lived back with them, as well as bring other heart wrenching events, but that's not important here.
CS now hasn't really sent anything unless it's to ask for help with something, which I do and she pays back, as always. That's not really the bad part. First was about 2 years after I had moved states to be with family. I had been paying ES money for rent, from unemployment(COVID), And had a surgery scheduled for just 3 weeks after the unemployment cut off(I had been looking for jobs but very little luck aside from some MLMs) and ES went ballistic, saying how i was putting them in financial strain(our mom had recently gotten a large tax return from COVID credits, as did she. I did not since I worked during 2019 and 2020. I also got no extra unemployment since it started after the main event. ES ranted to CS that I was a bum and was mooching and spent over a year not paying anything,( even though I had offered ES proof since ES had yelled at me before CS called me). She even posted personal information to insult me online to people I don't know, which is when ES told CS that, while she was mad at the situation, that was crossing a major line. I refused to call CS first, so after a few days, she called me. I laid into her what had been really happening by that point, that I had been paying and I have been doing door dash and donating plasma to continue to pay rent, which I Had talked about to ES. CS was silent during this, and I finally asked why any of the things in childhood happened.
Me: I just want to know why you always bullied me, and beat me up? The things you said?
CS: Well, I want to apologize, but I don't remember a lot of the stuff I did. I was usually high on something. Me: ...Not even telling me to off myself? CS:......-username-, I was a terrible person, and I was on a lot of stuff. I'm sorry that I don't remember.
I don't go farther cuz it's just me explaining everything and that I can't stand that Im always attacked. We hang up with CS telling me that she hopes the best.
Well, things kind of blow up, rent gets unpaid, money is wasted, and I decide to no longer pay and move to my own place. I don't talk to ES. CS chats sometimes, but not too much. After a while of not much texting, around middle of 2022, CS texts. Not exact, but I'll summarize it.
CS: hey, I'm divorcing my husband(I knew, mom told me earlier, didn't say anything) and I'm gonna move to Texas with this guy I've been talking to while married. I'm short on money to move into a place, so could you and mom maybe do this investing app and help out? Me: does it require anything like my credit?(Issues happened prior to this with another person) CS: no you just need to invest their free 5 dollars and keep the account open(I think for either 2 weeks or a month). Me: ok I'll get it started. CS: thank you so much! So how's the new Italian place? Me: it's good, it's called "blah blah blah" CS: ok cool, I'll look it up. Me: Okie dokie. So how's the move coming along
She never responded after that. I ignored it and put it on that she needed to move and focus on packing. I then went to our mom(I took her and her cat with me cuz I'm not monster) and told her the situation. She wanted to ask CS about what to do cuz I had to work in the morning and it was late. Convo:
Me: when you ask CS, ask "hey, -username- said you needed something, I have the app up, what do I do next?" Because this would explain that I told Mom and make CS answer what she wants.
Nope. She just sent "oh did you need any thing for moving, like money or anything?"
CS: hmm? Oh no, we're going to stay with his parents, but thank you for the offer! We'll be ok!
I got upset cuz I feel like I knew something was up. Asking me to help with money for moving to an apartment(she has a car large enough to pack her belongings and she didn't plan to bring furniture). I let it go and deleted the investment account, which continues to try charging me so I had to change banks. Very nice.
Now to this last fall(2023). I moved after that and there was very little interaction. I had been thinking about the relationships in my life and realized that being around CS in particular, or even being mindful of her, was causing mass amounts of resentment and anger in me, making my mental health dive. The lack of remorse and just consistent blaming of substances instead of the choice to do those substances. Claiming she's was a terrible person, but not saying anything about the issues it caused.
I decided that if CS did not even contact me on my birthday(she had skipped it before which isn't too bad, but one year even sent a message 2 months late and when I called her out, she blew it off and just said "oops, I was drunk, my bad".
So this last fall I wait. And nothing, till the end of the day. Honestly I didn't want to wait for excuses or anything. I just felt all of the anger of trying to get her attention and her love, and the desperation that I felt trying to understand why I never deserved it. So I removed her. Not blocked. If there are any emergencies where she would need to contact me(not likely), then it's there. I have a new number, so social media messaging was sufficient. I had done the same with ES.
The very next morning, I had a huge message about how she noticed that I had removed her(this site doesn't notify if someone leaves your friend circle) and about how she felt bad about what happened as kids but that she felt horrible for blocking people out for so long. Then another message telling me that she didn't want to be without her siblings again. Telling me that now, she was going to have a kid in several months, and how it's amazing and she's excited to finally be a mom and I'll be an uncle again(LS has 2 young kids of her own). I opened it and ignored it. She then said she tried reaching out and I left her on read and she hopes I have a good life.
Mentally, I may not be where I want myself to be, and sometimes I feel like I haven't moved forward from being that kid, that just wants to know why. But one step at a time, especially with therapy.
I wanna say I don't feel like the AH, or if I am, that is justified. But I guess there's always going to be a small part of me that wants to have the bonds that I never knew, even if it's too late by now.
So, am I the AH for just stopping contact and connection to someone I feel I just don't have a connection with?
P.s., sorry there's a lot, I honestly didn't mean for it to be this long. Please don't hate my late night grammar

It may or may not be 3 in the morning. I'm sitting here, yet again, in a (rather continuous) Radiohead musical spiral. Radiohead, In Rainbows From the Basement (April 2008)... To be exact, spellbound as ever.
I can recall first beginning introduce to Radiohead at the age of 13? by a hair stylist. After she cut my hair she made sure to hand me a note reading "Ok, Computer- Radiohead. Check them out"
After listening to one song my preteen self forgot about Radiohead. Idk probably caught up in Mindless Self indulgence or swept into the undercurrents of the cure, girlhood ponderings.
Over a decade later, I reconnected with Radiohead after being gifted an Ok, Computer cd. Which proceeded to live in my car for nearly five years.
Couple years ago a stranger approached me at a little coffee shop in Asheville, NC..we somehow opened an hour long gushing sesh on Radiohead. Exchanging reflections and songs that inspired us by them. At one point this stranger introduced me to lotus flower 2011, which changeddd me. It was a sweet memory I forgot about until now.
Anyways, after hours of listening, learning Arpeggi on the piano, purchasing CDs, dancing, crying, and being blissed out to Radioheads mystical delights.
I am here to confess, unabashially, that Radiohead's music has played crucial role in my life thusfar.
But tonight it clicked. Thank you
Guess I should get some sleep

Shipping and Payment
USPS priority box /envelope $10
USPS 1st class $6 up to 7 oz
“ Risky “ 1st class 🫧 envelope non-machinable $2 -
Goldbacks ship for $1
Tell me your favorite tv show
for $1 off $100 📺
I take Zelle , Venmo , Cash App and Mailed Cash
I make excellent packages but after I drop it off it is the responsibility of USPS.
Please ask for photos or if I have multiple of the same item!
Date Proof:
https://imgur.com/a/jQrAiVb
PRE-33 GOLD
https://imgur.com/a/MNAYZip
1908 D $5 Gold $1300
https://imgur.com/a/xINXuM0
1927 2.5 gold $800
https://imgur.com/a/diOJZvh
1914 D 2.5 Gold $700
https://imgur.com/a/PX94LL9
1901 2.5 Gold $650
https://imgur.com/a/mExBjEn
SILVER COINS AND ROUNDS 🕰️
Aerosmith 1 oz $35
Homer Simpson 2019 donut $70
Simpson family Christmas $50
1oz silver Superman Samoa 🇼🇸 $5 coin $35
Spider-Man 1oz $45
St. Lucia 2020 1 oz silver lizard 🦎 $35
2021 Wonder Woman 1oz $70
Batman 1oz $70
Scarface 1 oz $45
🥤 Coca-Cola 1 oz silver round 1 oz $35
Baby yoda 1oz silver $35
🇺🇸 Army 1 oz silver bar / round $35
Bar 1
Bar 2 digital camouflage
Street fighter chun lee 1oz 🇯🇵 - $35
Wolverine 1oz 🇨🇦 $50
The Godfather 1oz silver $40
Silver Bart Simpson 1 oz $60 🛹
2023 Homer Simpson carded 1 oz $60 📷
SWAMP THING 1oz colorized- $75 📷
2024 silver shield 1oz silver cannabis round $36
( and a copper cannabis for free ! ) ☮️
ET 🪐 Niue 1oz 2 dollar bar $38
1 oz trump wanted rounds $35
Beavis and butthead 🔥 🧻 1 oz silver
$90
Intaglio Mint 1oz “ the 4 seasons “ nude art 🖼️ round $60
Donald Duck $38
1991 liberty lobby 240 grains 1/2 oz .999 silver Andrew Jackson - $14 each 5 available
FRANCE 🇫🇷 10 franc 1965 silver .8134 asw
$33
1oz Silver Camel Cigarettes Joe Camel 🐪 - $65
Disneys snow White doc 1 oz $70
1 oz proof ablum
https://imgur.com/a/tYA9NDZ
Silver $1 commemorative
Capsule only
Baseball $1 proof $29
Lewis and Clark proof $33
2011 infantry no box $30 sale !
1992 Columbus $1 - $30
D-day $1 bu $30
Wright brothers $1 $30
Capsule proof:
https://imgur.com/a/9sCzhiP
In original mint packaging 📷
1993 WW2 2 coin set $1 - $37
1993 WW2 2 coin set proof $33
1994 World Cup 2 coin set $28 sale
1995 civil war battlefield 2 coin proof set $32
1995 Olympic cyclist 🚴 proof $33
1995 Olympic track and field proof $33
1996 national community service proof $29
1996 Smithsonian $1 proof $29
1998 Robert f Kennedy $1 proof - $40
1999 Yellow stone national park $33
2000 Leif Erickson silver proof $1 - $42
2003 wright brothers first flight $1 proof - $31
2006 San Francisco old Mint $1 proof $30
Benjamin Franklin founding father proof $33
2012 Infantry Soldier $1 $40
Comm proof:
https://imgur.com/a/iaF31xI
Silver Dollars 💵
1883 o $100
2007 ASE certified $42
2006 ASE certified $42
1921 Morgan in cap $45
1926 D peace better date $36
1887 $1 - $70
1921 Morgan plastic flip $55
1886 $1 $70
1922 peace dollar $27 sale
Better 1922 peace dollar $27 sale
Nice 1922 peace dollar $27 sale
1925 peace dollar $27 sale
Proof:
https://imgur.com/a/fBk2WiY
1921 Morgan MS $60
1896 Morgan $65
1885 Morgan $90
1878 CC $1 $170
1897 $1 $85
1890 O $1 $80
1921 MS $60
Proof;
https://imgur.com/a/jJbdBJa
Glass Panther Art pours and more,
sponsored by Coca-Cola 🥤🍔🌎🦩🌞🧊
Fallout New Vegas
Lucky 38 1oz silver “ platinum chip “ $45
Vintage 1977 Coca-Cola 1oz silver bar
Nashville TN $70
Norfolk Va $70
Atlanta $70
Contemporary Coca-Cola 1oz silver bar $32
Contemporary Coca-Cola 1oz silver round $32
Coca-Cola Christmas 2019 Fiji Santa Clause 1oz - $45 🎅
Fiji 🇫🇯 1oz coca-cola bottle cap $149 📷
10k gold coca-cola pin 📌 $150 📷
7.5 oz 1:1 scale .999 silver derringer - $400 ⭐️
3oz M4 🐆 $223
1oz army man $90
( which one of you sold it to me? )
Sunshine 1oz $140
Cyborg 1oz $140
Smurf 1 oz $35
Art cola Proof ;
https://imgur.com/a/mlUyEQZ
HALF DOLLARS and more 💵
1822 Bust half dollar $75
1825 bust half dollar $70
1876 seated half $50
1896 O Barber half $60
1895 p barber half $30
1952 Washington/ carver half $25
1877 seated half $45
Booker T Half $25
1964 MS 50c $14
1963 D 50c unc $18
1955 Canada 50c $25
1992 silver 50c proof $20
2005 s silver proof $20
1858 50C $70
Canada silver 5 cents $6
1857 dime $20
1923 mercury dime $3
1937 mercury dime au $12
1936 AU mercury dime $13
1927 mercury dime $4
Barber dime coa $4
Ohio silver quarter $12
1XX3 seated quarter $18
1955 ms quarter $12
1964 ms quarter $9
1904 p 25c $8
1908 O 25c $10
1912 d 10c $9
Metal detector dime $5
1909 p barber dime $19
1903 p 25c $9
1916 p barber $4
1912 D $5
1916 $6
1907 $8
1914 10c $12
1832 half dime $90 📷
Proof
https://imgur.com/a/PhO1Bhq
SETS 📺 📷
Silver war nickel set $8
Dimes of the 20th century $6
Bill of rights silver 50c young collector set
$19
Buy all for $25 . Great deal.
Jewelry 💍
1 gram 10k earrings $30
7 gram. 925 bracelet $10
Take both for $40
https://imgur.com/a/H4Nrark
Rarities 🦜 📷
1/4 oz art bar gilded Halloween $35
1/4 oz art bar gilded Pug $35
COPPER 📣
Copper Cannabis Leaf 🍁 Round $2
2023 year of the Dragon 🐉 copper round $2
Lincoln Wheat Cent 1oz COPPER $2
Copper proof;
https://imgur.com/a/b6dcW1Y
🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 GOLD 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸
0 - 2021 New Hampshire 1 GoldBack $5 each - free ihp with purchase and ground shipping limit 4 ihp
I’m out of these, sell me or trade for cheap.
https://imgur.com/a/JBEAJ4j
Bank of America 10k pendant with seed pearls , I think it’s 3.6 grams. $120 📷
Bank of America 10k pin 📌 no pearls, $100
📷
Fractional silver
1 gram silver in card $1.70
📷 https://imgur.com/a/x4CsSMR
CANADA SILVER 🇨🇦 🍁
Canada 1955 50c $20 📷
Canada $1 1987 proof $20 📷
Superman $20 silver $25
Batman vs Superman Canada $20 silver coin $29
Bugs Bunny $20 silver $35
Star trek 2016 silver $20 coin. $35
2016 Canada $20 silver T-Rex $25
2014 Canada $20 Snowman $22 2014 Canada $20 silver summer swimming coin $22
Canada proof
https://imgur.com/a/bUSuicI
Bank bag assortment lot that I forgot:
Futurama Shut up and take my money 1oz - $45
From glass panther
Dirty vintage coke bar 1oz $65
2014 icg panda $42
St. Lucia 1 oz lizard 🦎 $35
Trump wanted $33
https://imgur.com/a/q8pR7c3
USPS priority box /envelope $10
USPS 1st class $6 up to 7 oz
Risky envelope shipping $2
I take Zelle and Venmo Cash App and Mailed Cash and small gold or 1 goldbacks @3.75
I make excellent packages but after I drop it off it is the responsibility of USPS
Proof:
https://imgur.com/a/jQrAiVb

Shipping and Payment
USPS priority box /envelope $10
USPS 1st class $6 up to 7 oz
“ Risky “ 1st class 🫧 envelope non-machinable $2 -
Goldbacks ship for $1
I take Zelle , Venmo , Cash App and Mailed Cash
I make excellent packages but after I drop it off it is the responsibility of USPS.
Please ask for photos or if I have multiple of the same item!
Date Proof:
https://imgur.com/a/jQrAiVb
PRE-33 GOLD
https://imgur.com/a/MNAYZip
1908 D $5 Gold $1300
https://imgur.com/a/xINXuM0
1927 2.5 gold $800
https://imgur.com/a/diOJZvh
1914 D 2.5 Gold $700
https://imgur.com/a/PX94LL9
1901 2.5 Gold $650
https://imgur.com/a/mExBjEn
SILVER COINS AND ROUNDS 🕰️
Aerosmith 1 oz $35
Homer Simpson 2019 donut $70
Simpson family Christmas $50
1oz silver Superman Samoa 🇼🇸 $5 coin $35
Spider-Man 1oz $45
St. Lucia 2020 1 oz silver lizard 🦎 $35
2021 Wonder Woman 1oz $70
Batman 1oz $70
Scarface 1 oz $45
🥤 Coca-Cola 1 oz silver round 1 oz $35
Baby yoda 1oz silver $35
🇺🇸 Army 1 oz silver bar / round $35
Bar 1
Bar 2 digital camouflage
Street fighter chun lee 1oz 🇯🇵 - $35
Wolverine 1oz 🇨🇦 $50
The Godfather 1oz silver $40
Silver Bart Simpson 1 oz $60 🛹
2023 Homer Simpson carded 1 oz $60 📷
SWAMP THING 1oz colorized- $75 📷
2024 silver shield 1oz silver cannabis round $36
( and a copper cannabis for free ! ) ☮️
ET 🪐 Niue 1oz 2 dollar bar $38
1 oz trump wanted rounds $35
Beavis and butthead 🔥 🧻 1 oz silver
$90
Intaglio Mint 1oz “ the 4 seasons “ nude art 🖼️ round $60
Donald Duck $38
1991 liberty lobby 240 grains 1/2 oz .999 silver Andrew Jackson - $14 each 5 available
FRANCE 🇫🇷 10 franc 1965 silver .8134 asw
$33
1oz Silver Camel Cigarettes Joe Camel 🐪 - $65
Disneys snow White doc 1 oz $70
1 oz proof ablum
https://imgur.com/a/tYA9NDZ
Silver $1 commemorative
Capsule only
Baseball $1 proof $29
Lewis and Clark proof $33
2011 infantry no box $30 sale !
1992 Columbus $1 - $30
D-day $1 bu $30
Wright brothers $1 $30
Capsule proof:
https://imgur.com/a/9sCzhiP
In original mint packaging 📷
1993 WW2 2 coin set $1 - $37
1993 WW2 2 coin set proof $33
1994 World Cup 2 coin set $28 sale
1995 civil war battlefield 2 coin proof set $32
1995 Olympic cyclist 🚴 proof $33
1995 Olympic track and field proof $33
1996 national community service proof $29
1996 Smithsonian $1 proof $29
1998 Robert f Kennedy $1 proof - $40
1999 Yellow stone national park $33
2000 Leif Erickson silver proof $1 - $42
2003 wright brothers first flight $1 proof - $31
2006 San Francisco old Mint $1 proof $30
Benjamin Franklin founding father proof $33
2012 Infantry Soldier $1 $40
Comm proof:
https://imgur.com/a/iaF31xI
Silver Dollars 💵
1883 o $100
2007 ASE certified $42
2006 ASE certified $42
1921 Morgan in cap $45
1926 D peace better date $36
1887 $1 - $70
1921 Morgan plastic flip $55
1886 $1 $70
1922 peace dollar $27 sale
Better 1922 peace dollar $27 sale
Nice 1922 peace dollar $27 sale
1925 peace dollar $27 sale
Proof:
https://imgur.com/a/fBk2WiY
1921 Morgan MS $60
1896 Morgan $65
1885 Morgan $90
1878 CC $1 $170
1897 $1 $85
1890 O $1 $80
1921 MS $60
Proof;
https://imgur.com/a/jJbdBJa
Glass Panther Art pours and more,
sponsored by Coca-Cola 🥤🍔🌎🦩🌞🧊
Fallout New Vegas
Lucky 38 1oz silver “ platinum chip “ $45
Vintage 1977 Coca-Cola 1oz silver bar
Nashville TN $70
Norfolk Va $70
Atlanta $70
Contemporary Coca-Cola 1oz silver bar $32
Contemporary Coca-Cola 1oz silver round $32
Coca-Cola Christmas 2019 Fiji Santa Clause 1oz - $45 🎅
Fiji 🇫🇯 1oz coca-cola bottle cap $149 📷
10k gold coca-cola pin 📌 $150 📷
7.5 oz 1:1 scale .999 silver derringer - $400 ⭐️
3oz M4 🐆 $223
1oz army man $90
( which one of you sold it to me? )
Sunshine 1oz $140
Cyborg 1oz $140
Smurf 1 oz $35
Art cola Proof ;
https://imgur.com/a/mlUyEQZ
HALF DOLLARS and more 💵
1822 Bust half dollar $75
1825 bust half dollar $70
1876 seated half $50
1896 O Barber half $60
1895 p barber half $30
1952 Washington/ carver half $25
1877 seated half $45
Booker T Half $25
1964 MS 50c $14
1963 D 50c unc $18
1955 Canada 50c $25
1992 silver 50c proof $20
2005 s silver proof $20
1858 50C $70
Canada silver 5 cents $6
1857 dime $20
1923 mercury dime $3
1937 mercury dime au $12
1936 AU mercury dime $13
1927 mercury dime $4
Barber dime coa $4
Ohio silver quarter $12
1XX3 seated quarter $18
1955 ms quarter $12
1964 ms quarter $9
1904 p 25c $8
1908 O 25c $10
1912 d 10c $9
Metal detector dime $5
1909 p barber dime $19
1903 p 25c $9
1916 p barber $4
1912 D $5
1916 $6
1907 $8
1914 10c $12
1832 half dime $90 📷
Proof
https://imgur.com/a/PhO1Bhq
SETS 📺 📷
Silver war nickel set $8
Dimes of the 20th century $6
Bill of rights silver 50c young collector set
$19
Buy all for $25 . Great deal.
Jewelry 💍
1 gram 10k earrings $30
7 gram. 925 bracelet $10
Take both for $40
https://imgur.com/a/H4Nrark
Rarities 🦜 📷
1/4 oz art bar gilded Halloween $35
1/4 oz art bar gilded Pug $35
COPPER 📣
Copper Cannabis Leaf 🍁 Round $2
2023 year of the Dragon 🐉 copper round $2
Lincoln Wheat Cent 1oz COPPER $2
Copper proof;
https://imgur.com/a/b6dcW1Y
🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 GOLD 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸
0 - 2021 New Hampshire 1 GoldBack $5 each - free ihp with purchase and ground shipping limit 4 ihp
I’m out of these, sell me or trade for cheap.
https://imgur.com/a/JBEAJ4j
Bank of America 10k pendant with seed pearls , I think it’s 3.6 grams. $120 📷
Bank of America 10k pin 📌 no pearls, $100
📷
Fractional silver
1 gram silver in card $1.70
📷 https://imgur.com/a/x4CsSMR
CANADA SILVER 🇨🇦 🍁
Canada 1955 50c $20 📷
Canada $1 1987 proof $20 📷
Superman $20 silver $25
Batman vs Superman Canada $20 silver coin $29
Bugs Bunny $20 silver $35
Star trek 2016 silver $20 coin. $35
2016 Canada $20 silver T-Rex $25
2014 Canada $20 Snowman $22 2014 Canada $20 silver summer swimming coin $22
Canada proof
https://imgur.com/a/bUSuicI
Bank bag assortment lot that I forgot:
Futurama Shut up and take my money 1oz - $45
From glass panther
Dirty vintage coke bar 1oz $65
2014 icg panda $42
St. Lucia 1 oz lizard 🦎 $35
Trump wanted $33
https://imgur.com/a/q8pR7c3
USPS priority box /envelope $10
USPS 1st class $6 up to 7 oz
Risky envelope shipping $2
I take Zelle and Venmo Cash App and Mailed Cash and small gold or 1 goldbacks @3.75
I make excellent packages but after I drop it off it is the responsibility of USPS
Proof:
https://imgur.com/a/jQrAiVb

Book report guy back, with the Bryan Danielson book from 2014 and it has some fun backstage stories from his time in WWE!
Solid wrestling book, though not super memorable in my opinion. Some solid detail and dirt like you expect, but honestly it felt like he was holding back.
As always, it's in chronological order as best as I could do that. Hope y'all enjoy!
Bryan is a weird dude, while describing his adolescence, he casually says that he has a lot of weird hypothesis on various subjects, and we should ask Nigel McGuinness about Bryan's theory on how a penis grows. He doesn't expand on this more. He just says that and moves back to talking about his childhood.
Bryan rants a bit about how modern medicine has stunted human evolution because kids who would have died off got to live and reproduce and pass their "defects" onto the next generation. He says that he is one of those defects, sick all his childhood and sick a lot as an adult. He says that his wife Brie is also a "defect" but says she can share the details in her own book if she ever writes one.
When Bryan was 16 years old, he contacted Dean Melanko's wrestling school and was told it would cost him $2,500, but he needed a $500 deposit to secure his spot. Bryan was scared that there were hundreds of people on the waiting list and worked extra shifts at McDonald's in order to get the cash together asap. He put $500 deposit down for a wrestling school he couldn't go to for 2 more years.
Three months before Bryan graduated high school, the Melanko Wrestling School contacted to inform Bryan that the school was shutting down permanently. When Bryan asked for his $500 back, he was told that they no longer had it and that he was SOL.
While watching Monday Night RAW, an ad flashed advertising a 900 number (an old pay-per-minute phone concept that was always a money drain on the caller), and it advertised Shawn Michaels opening up a wrestling school. After an expensive phone call, Bryan was told to pay $20 more for a package to be mailed to him with more info. He did, and when he got the package, it detailed how Michaels wrestling school would cost $3,900 dollars, and it had another 900 number to call if you're interested. Bryan was demoralized and almost didn't call. When he did, though, he was speaking to Shawm Michaels mom, who was helping Shawn run it. Bryan's mom ended up doing all the talking, and the two mothers helped Bryan get set up with a place in San Antonio where the school was. They agreed to let Bryan pay monthly to help him with the finances.
Bryan's first day of wrestling school went exactly like everyone else's first day of wrestling school, with 90% of the students gassed and vomiting. Bryan said out of the 10 guys there, only he and Lance Cade didn't end up vomiting.
Bryan remembers how much Shawn Michaels prioritized his training to Lance Cade. One of the first days, Lance did a basic jump and got so much air that Michaels loudly proclaimed, "I smell money!"
Even though it was Shawn's school, the primary instructor was Rudy Boy Gonzales, a pretty insignificant wrestler from the 80s and 90s. Bryan puts over Rudy as a passionate trainer who motivated him to try harder. Bryan said Rudy would show Bryan anything Bryan saw on a tape and wanted to try.
Bryan says that he and "The" Brian Kendrick became friends immediately as they were both around the same size in the training and had the same level of passion for wrestling.
I always heard that Shawn Michaels wasn't very present for this school, but Bryan tells a different tale, putting Shawn over as someone who was always around and always showing them how to be better.
Bryan does remember some days that Shawn would come in with his sunglasses on, sit at the back of the class, and then dip out early. Bryan didn't realize then that Shawn was in deep with a bad painkiller addiction, and so some days he wasn't as present. Since Bryan grew up with his dad's addiction issues, Bryan says seeing Shawn actually kick the addiction fully put Shawn on a pedestal in Bryan's eyes.
After a couple of months, Shawn was telling the students to start thinking of ring names, and when Bryan couldn't come up with one, he asked Shawn about using his real name. Shawn thought about it for a second before adding "The American Dragon" to it. When Bryan asked why that name, Shawn said it's because Bryan wrestled like a Japanese guy. Bryan took that as a massive compliment.
Bryan didn't tell Shawn, but Bryan initially hated "The American Dragon" name.
Bryan had trouble being expressive and emoting in the ring, so Shawn had him wrestle under a mask.
On October 4th, 1999, Bryan wrestled his first ever match for Shawn Michaels' small promotion, Texas Wrestling Alliance. His opponent was Brian Kendrick (then known as Spanky), and Bryan says as rotton as it was, everyone in the back was super excited for their performance, including Shawn.
Bryan confirms that Kendrick called himself "Spanky" as a masturbation reference.
Shawn arranged for Bryan and Lance Cade to head over to Japan and wrestle for Frontier Martial Arts Wrestling, a bit of a "mudshow" wrestling promotion. Shawn got Bryan and Lance a spot on their card by agreeing to referee a match for the company.
Bryan remembers seeing one guy shove a bottle rocket up his opponents butt and light it off at that FMW show. So yeah, some pretty outlaw stuff.
Bryan describes attempting a moonsalt to the outside of the ring during this Japan tour, but he slipped and cracked his head on the cement. Bryan says, "When I came to, I didn't even know where I was" before describing how he stumbled his way through the match. He notes how concussions have always been a problem for him.
Lance Cade was invited back to FMW later for a 2nd tour, but they didn't ask for Bryan back. That's when Bryan realized that at his size, he needs to get much, much better.
In February 2000, HBK got Bryan, Lance Cade, Brian Kendrick, and another student named Shooter Shultz, a dark match on an episode of Smackdown. He says they planned for a 15-minute tag match before being told last minute that it's been cut down to 6 minutes. Bryan says HBK went and yelled at some people about "his guys" until he got it bumped up to 10 minutes.
Bryan says he got his first documented concussion that match, because they weren't used to a literal ramp, and Bryan cracked his skull on it, doing a pointless dive. He says the WWE doctor backstage told him to just make sure he doesn't fall asleep.
Bryan says when they got backstage after their match, HBK was excited and pumping them up, telling everyone backstage that they should sign all 4 guys immediately. This was on Tuesday, and by Thursday, when WWE still hadn't contacted them, Shawn called them up and threatened to take the 4 to WCW where Kevin Nash would make sure they were signed. Bryan says WWE quickly offered all 4 guys developmental contracts for $500 per week. Bryan says HBK was a great guy to have in your corner.
Shortly after getting the developmental contract, Bryan and Kendrick wrestled a main event ladder match for Shawn's TWA promotion. At the time, Bryan believed that in order to stand out, he would need to wrestle a more daredevil style, so he did some dumb stuff in this match. He did some ridiculous spot that ended with Bryan separating his shoulder. After the match, he took a table bump that legitimately knocked him unconscious for a full minute.
A week or 2 later, the teams had a rematch in a steel cage where all 4 agreed to blade for the first time. Why is he doing this dumb shit right after being offered a WWE contract?
Bryan says those ladder and cage matches made him realize he needed to change his style up and become more mat based. He wouldn't have had a long career if he kept getting hurt. At this point, Bryan has only been wrestling for 6 or 8 months and already suffered maybe 3 concussions. At least 2 for sure.
Bryan Danielson, Lance Cade, Brian Kendrick, and Shooter Shultz all moved to Memphis, where WWE's development primarily opperated out of at the time. William Regal was also a developmental system at the time, trying to show he had kicked his addiction issues.
Memphis Championship Wrestling was the territory they wrestled for, and Bryan remembers wrestling in all sorts of crazy locations like a WalMart parking lot once.
Although Shawn eventually took the mask off Bryan in TWA, the guys at MCW immediately put the mask back on Bryan.
The only time Bryan thought he might get called up to the main roster was in January 2001, when he heard rumors that WWE wanted to start up a cruiserweight division and use Danielson and Kendrick That didn't happen, though, and Bryan never heard another rumor or wiff of him being called up.
In June 2001, someone from WWE talent relations came down to evaluate talent. Brian was let go and told that despite his talent, they just had no plans for him.
In October 2001, Bryan was offered a spot in California based All Pro Wrestling's annual King Of The Indies tournament. Danielson would beat Kendrick in the first round, and after the show, Nick Bockwinkle, who was there watching, loudly told promoter Roland Alexander, "If you don't put that guy over." Bockwinkle said while pointing directly at Bryan, "You're crazy!"
APW head trainer Donovan Morgan was scheduled to beat Bryan in the second round and go on to win the tournament, but promoter Roland made the call to have Bryan win instead.
Bryan says this that while this really pissed Donovan off, what really upset the guy was when Roland offered Danielson and Kendrick trainer positions alongside Donovan.
Kendrick turned the offer down, but Bryan took it and moved to California in January 2002, where he became the head trainer. Though Bryan says he was a lousy trainer and no good at motivating anyone.
On February 2002, Bryan sat down with Gabe Sapolsky, who, after being inspired by the Super 8 tournament Bryan won, wanted Bryan part of his new promotion, Ring of Honor.
Bryan remembers both William Regal and John Laurinaitis said they would try to get Bryan an in to Japan, but both came up short, and both eventually stopped returning Bryan's calls.
In March 2002, Bryan Danielson, Christopher Daniels, and Brian Kendrick got a tryout with New Japan in Santa Monica. Antonio Inoki was actually there to oversee, but he literally had his back turned to the ring while Danielson and Kendrick wrestled. Inoki never bothered to turn around and watch them, instead watching someone stretch, Bryan says. Bryan later heard that New Japan never intended to hire anyone. They just wanted their dojo to look full for press.
After the "tryout," Bryan says that Inoki fell and had to be helped up by a bunch of people. Only the three of them didn't get up to help, with Kendrick saying loudly, "serves the motherfucker right."
Bryan kept making trips to the Santa Monica dojo every couple of weeks until Shinya "Togi" Makabe told him that if Bryan really wanted to be taken seriously, he had to be at the dojo every single day. Bryan took the advice seriously, quit his training job and moved to Santa Monica.
Bryan says he was offered to come tour with New Japan after only training at the dojo full time a few weeks. It was on this tour where Bryan first wrestled in the Tokyo Dome.
In May 2003, Bryan wrestled another Tokyo Dome show, where Bryan, Rocky Romero and TJ Perkins were all pulled aside in the hotel after the show, by Justin Cully. Cully literally slapped each man across the face, saying the slaps are from Inoki, who was disappointed in their proformances that night. Apparently Inoki expected them to wrestle more of a shoot style fight and was very upset.
In March 2004, Bryan won his first title with New Japan, the IWGP Junior Tag titles with Christopher Daniels, and Bryan would spend the majority of the year with New Japan where he wrestled 8 different tours.
Bryan pitched a 3 hour long match to Gabe Sapolsky for a ROH show and is disappointed they didn't go the full 3 hours.
Going into 2005, Bryan expected to wrestle his whole career in New Japan, but was startled when New Japan didn't get his visa renewed for the January tour like they always do. He was told it was a mistake and he would be back for March tour, but again he was told last minute they didn't have a visa for him. In May they contacted him last minute inviting him for a tour, but at a ridiculous pay cut down to $500 per week. Bryan turned the offer down and never went back to that Santa Monica dojo or work for New Japan again. He later heard that he was used as a pawn in a power struggle with the Dojo and New Japan.
In mid-2005 Bryan got an email from CM-Punk about a rumor suggesting that both WWE and TNA were interested in Bryan, Punk and Samoa Joe. Joe would quickly sign with TNA after this and Punk took a developmental deal with WWE. Bryan never heard from either company, and a few months later Gabe Sapolsky told Bryan he wanted to build ROH around Bryan but wanted a promise that Bryan wouldn't just leave to WWE or TNA. Great timing Gabe, because Bryan immediately said yes.
After winning the ROH World title in September 2005, Bryan says his title reign was falling flat until he started being cocky and cutting those "best in the world" promos. Bryan even shades Jericho and Punk a little by saying at the time no one else was saying it and that's why it worked so well for him.
Bryan puts over his matches with Nigel McGuinness in summer of 2006, but points out one in particular he regrets. Nigel had the idea for Bryan to pull Nigel's face into the steel ring post 3 times to get real blood. After 3 attempts and no blood, Nigel yelled, "One more time!" They got blood on the 4th time, and gave Nigel a severe concussion.
Five minutes into an hour long match with Colt Cabana in August 2006, Bryan landed bad on the outside of the ring, where he separated that same right shoulder as before and tore two tendons.
Three weeks later, Bryan defended his ROH title against KENTA of all people, who legitimately targeted his hurt shoulder all match. Then Bryan went to tour Japan with Pro Wrestling Noah where he and KENTA had a rematch.
Bryan would finally drop the ROH title in December 2006 and then take nearly 4 months off. This is the first time he took off since he started wrestling in 1999.
After doing a tour of Japan with Pro Wrestling Noah in April 2007, Bryan was excited to come back to ROH and signed a 2 year contract.
In June 2007, Bryan and Nigel wrestled an extremely physical match that featured a spot where the two traded headbutts. The match didn't air until September that year and in the mean time, the Chris Benoit double murdesuicide happened and the talk of concussions and safety concerns changed completely. The match was not recieved well and Gabe later told Bryan that they shouldn't have aired it at all.
ROH struggled after the Benoit incident and most everyone had to adapt and tone down their styles. Bryan wasn't one of those people, and actually refused to tone down his style. Later in 2007 he would rupture his ear drum exchanging open palm strikes with KENTA and he would suffer a detached retina in a match with Takeshi Morishima. To this day, he has trouble hearing from his left ear and has trouble with vision.
Bryan remembers being super late for a show and not even being able to meet his opponent beforehand. To Bryan's suprise, his opponent, who despite being green, was great to work with and the two had good chemistry. That was a young Jon Moxley.
In Summer of 2008, Shawn Michaels was fueding with Chris Jericho and they incorporated Lamce Cade on Jericho's side, since Shawn trained Lance. Shawn actually reached out to Bryan about also joining the WWE and being involved in the story.
Bryan met with Vince McMahon and remembers how taken back Vince seemed when they first met, and thinks it was because of Bryan's size and how plain he looked. Bryan also didn't sell himself well in the meeting, saying he is "just okay." Head of talent relations John Laurinaitis told Bryan that they would call him, but he never did.
When Bryan returned from a Japan tour in October 2008, he was shocked to find Gabe Sapolsky had been fired by ROH and replaced by Adam Pearce. Bryan details that while Gabe liked to book long shows with everyone on the card trying their hardest to steal the show, Pearce booked shorter shows and had the lower card guys preform well, but not to try everything under the sun to outshine the main event. You can see why Jim Cornette and Adam Pearce get along so well.
Bryan notes how he was fueding with Claudio Castignoli when Gabe was fired, but Pearce immediately ended that program to which Bryan says he and Claudio were disappointed.
After another failed attempt to get into WWE I'm early 2009, Bryan refocused his energies by moving to Las Vegas where he started training in kick boxing and other forms of mixed martial arts.
Bryan trained religiously for months under a former MMA fighter Neil Melanson. Neil is the one who taught Bryan the LaBell Lock.
When Bryan's ROH contract expired in May 2009, he called John Laurinaitis and left a message, but never heard back.
Bryan says in mid-2009, he was talking to Gabe Sapolsky about starting up a new promotion that would become Evolve. Bryan says that Paul Heyman was even involved with these talks.
Brian Kendrick called Danielson up to pitch Danielson coming to WWE as Kendrick's tag partner. Danielson even went and filmed a bunch of promos with Kendrick and fel optimistic. Unfortunately, Kendrick was fired just a few weeks later before any of those vignets aired and that opportunity was gone as well.
Bryan had given up ever going to WWE when John Laurinaitis called him in September 2009 offering him a main roster contract. Bryan was so excited he didn't have to go to developmental, that he would be right on the main roster immediately. Or so he thought, I guess they didn't bother telling Brilyan about NXT at that time, even though it sounds like he was signed with that in mind.
Nigel was also signed at the same time (probably also meant for NXT) but before either man could start, they had to pass WWE medical tests. They asked them both about past injuries, and Bryan just lied, saying he never had anything wrong and was fine. Didn't mention his shoulder being separated twice, or the detached retina, or any concussion. Nigel on the other hand, was very honest about his injuries, including a torn bicep that he didn't get worked on, he just rehabbed it. Nigel figured he was a lock and didn't see the need to lie.
WWE was concerned about Bryan's elevated liver enzymes, and wanted Nigel to get surgery on his bicep before they would sign him. Both guys were wrestling a farewell tour with ROH and both genuinely concerned they wouldn't actually be leaving. In their last match for ROH, Bryan accidentally gave Nigel a concussion, because apparently these guys only know how to wrestle at one speed!
Nigel couldn't afford the bicep surgery and his own doctor was telling him he is fine, so Nigel went to TNA instead. Nigel would only wrestle for another year before his body would break down too far on him and he would retire.
Bryan signed his WWE contract on October 2nd, 2009, nearly 10 years to the day of his debut match. William Regal actually told Bryan, "Your wrestling career came before this and is over now. Anything else that happens now is a bonus."
William Regal came up with the name "Daniel Bryan" for Bryan to use in WWE. Brian tried arguing to Laurinaitis to use his real name and citing John Cena as an example, Laurinaitis simply told Bryan, "We don't do that anymore."
In early 2010, Bryan and seven other guys were told one day about the NXT concept and how they would be used. Bryan found out who his NXT "pro" would be just like everyone else, when WWE posted it on their website. Bryan initially legit wanted Regal as his "pro" but soon realized being paired with Miz gives him a story immediately.
Bryan describes his time in NXT as the most unusual of his career. The "rookies" all legitimately didn't know what was going to happen on any show and everything they did was 100% unscripted and improvised.
The first night in NXT, all the "rookies" were told 15 minutes before the show, that their "pro" would cut a promo on them and they needed to react accordingly. Bryan had no idea that his pro, the Miz was going to tell him to head to the ring and cut a promo on himself, literally telling him on live TV to make the fans care about him. Bryan had no idea what to say, no real direction he was given to go in, and no tome to plan or rehearse. Miz also told him to come up with a catchphrase, and Bryan said he always hated catch phrases.
In the ring, Bryan cut a generic promo where he said he lost his train of thought and was super greatful when The Miz came out to finish the promo off. Bryan didn't know that would happen and Bryan definitely didn't know Miz was going to slap him at the end. Bryan says that later, The Miz confided to Bryan that he was worried Bryan would try to fight him over the slap.
Bryan credits Chris Jericho for getting him over in his first WWE match, and says that neither he, nor Miz knew that Miz was to beat up Brian after the match. Apparently, Miz was informed during the Jericho/Bryan match that he was to attack Bryan after the finish. Wild how much "flying by the seat of their pants" that WWE did with early NXT.
After the show, Jericho told Bryan that Vince was impressed, though he noted how Vince said, "Ugh, but he doesn't even eat meat!"
Bryan describes promo class with Vince as kinda insane to be honest. One time Bryan accidentally spilled a water bottle, and Vince asked everyone how that made them feel about Bryan. Stuff like that.
Bryan says the NXT rookies weren't allowed to use the regular dressing room and had to use some tarped off part of the backstage area.
Bryan notes how most of the NXT season, the NXT rookies never really knew what was going to happen. The 2nd week Bryan lost to Wade Barret and wasn't told that Chris Jericho would be attacking him after the match.
Bryan says his initial storyline with The Miz wasn't a losing streak idea, but something where each loss had meaning and was being built with purpose. Miz was very hands on with each show and helped to put over Bryan and the storyline, but when Miz missed 2 weeks in a row, the producers left in charge basically just turned it into a losing streak storyline, which Bryan says, "never works."
One time on a plane, Ezekiel Jackson asked "which rookie has an isle seat?" Bryan raised his had and Ezekiel said, "Not anymore." Bryan stood his ground and refused, offering his seat to anyone but Ezekiel. Ezekiel got pissed but William Regal came over and chastised Jackson, saying Bryan is like a son to him and how Bryan has more talent in his pinky ginger than Jackson has in his whole body.
Bryan says the NXT "Pros Polls" were legitimate voting done by the pros. That's why Bryan ended up in first place, despite losing every match.
A week after Wrestlemania in 2010, NXT's direction and purpose shifted away from being serious to silly, and Bryan says they were suddenly doing dumb game show competitions and putting over how demoralizing it was.
Bryan says Skip Shepfield (Ryback) was the only rookie taking the competitions seriously and trying to win each game. Sounds on brand for the big guy.
Bryan says he was trying to be humble when asked who should be eliminated and he said himself. He figured since he lost to everyone he didn't have a right to say any of them. Backstage Miz told him he made a mistake and shouldn't have put that perception out there.
A week later they liked the rookies up on TV (an hour before it goes live) and informed Bryan and fellow rookie Michael Tarver that they are both eliminated, without telling them beforehand. Bryan felt this validated all the warnings guys like Colt Cabana and other gave him about WWE.
Right after Matt Striker interviewed him backstage and when asked an insulting question, Bryan snapped and started talking down about "Daniel Bryan" and started to put over "Bryan Danielson!" Bryan says he could hear Vince screaming into Striker's ear piece and apparently Vince threw his headset when Bryan said his real name.
They made Bryan retape the interview without saying that, but still aired his original interview.
Bryan was surprisingly called back to NXT the following week to start a rivalry with Micheal Cole, who had been verbally obliterating Bryan on commentary since Bryan debuted. Bryan seems to be greatful for that program since it kept him on tv and made him confident that he would keep his job.
The RAW after NXT season 1 ended, all the rookies were pulled into Vince's office and told about Nexus and the attack in the main event. They were told not to tell anyone or else they will be fired. Bryan says he even lied to William Regal, when asked why he was dressed to wrestle.
They were supposed to attack John Cena and Rey Mysterio in the main event, because WWE let the fans vote on Cena's opponent and they assumed Rey would get it. Surprisingly it was CM Punk, and Bryan isn't sure how much Punk was told about the angle.
Bryan legit choked Justin Roberts during the melee, leaving red marks on his skin with his tie. Bryan said he doesn't trust non-wrestlers to sell good so he did it for real, with Justin going purple on Tv. Later during the brawl, Bryan was grabbing a cable to choke someone else when a cameraman told him "no choking!" Bryan does note that he thinks Justin Roberts found it pretty cool to be involved. And later Heath Slater grabbed the dismantled ring ropes to choke Cena, but Cena told him as well, "No choking."
Cena told Bryan before the angle, "It's not the hit you do that's important, it's what you do before the hit that matters." This is why Bryan spit in Cena's face before kicking him in the head.
Backstage, Bryan was reprimanded twice, for choking and spitting. Two days later Vince McMahon personally called Bryan to tell him he was let go and apologized to Bryan for it. Bryan, arrogant as all hell, responded with, "Don't apologize, I'll make more money this year on the independents than I would have working for you."
Bryan called John Laurinaitis to clear up details and Laurinaitis was shocked to hear Bryan was fired. Apparently Vince didn't tell anyone, just called Laurinaitis up and asked for Bryan's number. The comment Bryan made about money seemed to get to Vince since Laurinaitis called Bryan back and asked about it. Laurinaitis actually told Bryan that he can start working independent dates immediately if he wasn't on TV.
After working several shows and making good money off merchandise for several weeks, Bryan was shocked when John Laurinaitis called him in August and asked him to come back for a big angle leading into SummerSlam. Bryan sheepishly asked for a raise and made sure he could make all his already planned independent bookings.
Bryan says Nexas should have won at SummerSlam, noting how they went from dangerous to jobbers in one night.
Bryan remembers a taped RAW after SummerSlam where he did an angle with The Miz. When he got backstage Vince was so mad at how it came off that he made Bryan and others go back out there and do it again. It was the first time Bryan ever had to redo something like that and he said he felt humiliated.
Bryan didnt seem to see much value in being US Champion outside of how it would keep him on tv and maybe monthly ppv matches.
At Hell in a Cell 2010 ppv, Bryan had a good match with Miz and John Morrison, but was scolded after that match for a spot where Bryan threw Miz's stoog Alex Riley off the stage where he landed on cameraman. They showed the two guys the footage and accused them of doing it on purpose to get themselves over. Bryan started regretting coming back and really hating his time in WWE.
Bryan was paired with the Bella Twins in a storyline he hated, that was based on the Twins confusing the word "vegan" for "virgin" and competing to sleep with Bryan. Despite how bad that storyline was, Bryan and Brie would develop a relationship and would start dating in February 2011.
Sheamus was given a choice of Wrestlemania opponents that year between Rey Mysterio and Daniel Bryan, and Sheamus chose Bryan. Bryan was greatful but concerned Sheamus chose wrong and their match would be cut but Sheamus wasn't worried at all. A week before Mania they were informed their match was on the pre-show at a meeting with literally every other wrestler. Bryan says Sheamus buried his face in his hands and remembers how Rey Mysterio got on the card in a match with Cody Rhodes. Bryan says Sheamus picked the wrong guy.
Bryan got some details in his book messed up where he talks about Miz winning the WWE title off Cena at Wrestlemania 27 and he talks about how Miz was WWE Champion going into Over The Limit ppv 2011, but Miz lost the title by then. It's notable because he says he pitched hard for a "Rocky style" storyline where he would challenge Miz for the WWE title at the Over The Limit ppv.
Bryan says the 2011 Smackdown Money in the Bank winner wasn't decided until the day of the show but it was always between Wade Barret, Cody Rhodes and Bryan. He says despite winning the briefcase, his tv time tricked down and eventually he was spending weeks off tv, until he was randomly inserted into the World title program between Mark Henry and Big Show in late 2011.
Bryan was being left at home and off shows, even watching Survivor Series 2011 from home and was suprised when WWE had him come to the December TLC ppv show, last minute. The day of the show he was told he was cashing in and winning the title and the only direction Vince McMahon gave him was to act like he won the superbowl, so that's where Bryan's over the top celebration came from. He didn't even tell his girlfriend Brie Bella about the plan and says she was shocked when he came backstage afterwards.
The only direction Vince gave Bryan as champion is to celebrate every appearance like he won the lottery, saying, "there is no too over the top here."
Bryan said he adapted his "Yes" chants from MMA fighter Diego Sanchez who was celebrating in a similar way at the time.
Bryan's favorite moment from that first world title run was the closing sequence in the 2012 Elimination Chamber match with him and Santino Marella.
Bryan originally expected he and Sheamus to get 15 minutes or so at Wrestlemania for their match, but was shocked when Chris Jericho told him he heard it would be 8 minutes, including the pre & post match stuff. A week later Arn Anderson confirmed to Bryan that he would lose a 1-move match, dropping the world title to Sheamus at Wrestlemania that year. Bryan and Sheamus were both pissed, to say the least.
Sheamus expressed concern that the short match would turn fans against him as a new champion. Smart man.
Bryan says a bunch of guys came up to him after his Mania loss and were pissed at what they did to Bryan out there. Great Khali even came up and told Bryan that it was bullshit in his broken English.
Originally Sheamus was planned to move into a fued with Alberto Del-rio right after Mania, but the crazy crowd support for Bryan forced them to extend they story another month. Bryan says his Extreme Rules ppv match with Sheamus in 2012 is one of his favorites. Mine too!
Bryan acknowledged the weird booking of Punk as champion in 2012, noting how heels would face John Cena, lose, then be sent to face Punk with no momentum. Interesting take on the situation.
Bryan mentions how when he and Punk fueded in 2012, they never got main event spots outside of non-televised events. One time at a house show, Bryan and Punk veered too far into comedy and after the match John Cena chastised Bryan by pointing out that they didn't wrestle a "main event style" match. Apparently the next house show, Cena was moved into the main event spot with Punk/Bryan being before the intermission. An enraged Punk went and yelled at people until he got his main event spot back. This time, no comedy spots were done and they stayed the main event for the circuit.
Bryan had brand new, edgier gear made up prior to Money in the Bank 2012 and didn't tell anyone backstage. He wore shorts over his trunk and hid the jacket until he had to go out. When he got to the ring, the ref told him to lose the jacket, because I guess Vince was in gorilla position freaking out over how Bryan looked. Dean Melanko was the producer for the match, and Bryan felt bad when Vince blamed him for allowing Bryan to wear it.
Bryan was originally planned to wrestle Charlie Sheen at SummerSlam 2012 in a celebrity match, but Charlie "bailed" as Bryan put it.
Bryan was trying to be "Mr Small Package" by winning matches with Small Package and then boasting about how he has an "inescapable small package!" It didn't get over.
Bryan thought his anger management vignets with Kane and Dr Shelby were going to be terrible.
The only reason they stopped using Dr Shelby is because he had limited days off from his regular teaching job.
Bryan and Kane really wanted their team name to be "Team Friendship" and they even had shirt ideas but Vince let the fans vote and he always kept those votes legit, so their team name was "Team Hell No" which Bryan brings up a good point about. He said as a team primarily appealing to kids, a name with "Hell" in it would be hard to sell merchandise to those kids.
The plan was to break up their team so they could have a good heated fued together, but they were so popular that they kept teaming for 9 months.
Bryan says his first good Wrestlemania experience was in 2013 when he teamed with Kane.
One night after Mania in 2013, when Bryan tagged with Kane and Undertaker to face The Shield, Vince McMahon told Bryan that he would pay him several thousand dollars if he could get Undertaker to hug Bryan in the ring. After the show Bryan got on the mic and tried his hardest to get the hug but couldn't quite do it.
Bryan says that both he and Kane agree that teaming together was some of the most fun in either man's career.
Bryan was scheduled to win the biggest match of his career up to that point, he would be beating Randy Orton clean on RAW. Bryan would botch a dive that left both arms nunb and him unable to stand. He got feeling back in one arm but eventually the doctor called the match off. Backstage Bryan started screaming at Triple H for calling the match and called him a hypocrite for doing so, citing his own injuries in matches. At one point Orton tried to calm Bryan down, but Bryan snapped at him and Orton started yelling too. Brie got Bryan away to calm down, but when Vince came to talk to Bryan, the shouting started again. Much later, William Regal advised Bryan to apologize to both Vince and Triple H, to which Bryan took his advice. The next week, Bryan would get his win over Orton and he says that that drama over everything made that win matter more.
An MRI showed that one of Bryan's disks was pushing into his nerves and eventually he would need surgery. With his momentum starting to rise, Bryan opted to put surgery off.
John Cena pitched facing Daniel Bryan at Money in the Bank 2013 ppv. When Vince asked why, Cena said because it's the biggest match they could do at that time. Vince ended up agreeing, but deciding that it belongs at SummerSlam that year instead!
As proud as Bryan is of the build to and match with Cena at SummerSlam, he acknowledges that the ppv didn't do good numbers, nor did the house show business the following 2 months when Bryan was the main protagonist. He thinks a lot the the Authority promos on him stemmed from some truth.
Bryan isn't satisfied with the quality of matches he was putting out in the latter half of 2013 amd he specifically calls out the series of bad finishes he had with Randy Orton in ppv main events. From the fast counting crooked ref, to that terrible one with Big Show knocking everyone out, and then to Shawn Michaels betraying Bryan at Hell in a Cell ppv.
Bryan initially thought he was getting a Wrestlemania match with Shawn Michaels after that Hell in a Cell finish, but after talking with HBK, it was clear that was never in the cards.
Bryan feels he failed as a main eventer in the 2nd half of 2013, regardless of match quality. He didn't move business and that's all that matters.
The Slammy's were fan votes and Vince didn't think Bryan would win and almost laughed when Bryan asked him what he should say if he does win. Vince said, "whatever you want." I wish I could have seen Vince's face when Bryan won later that night.
When Bryan started fueding with Wyatt Family in late-2013, Bryan was pitching for him to be "brainwashed" and join the group. He suspects that his rising popularity in early 2014 is what convinced WWE to have Bryan turn on Bray and leave the group. At the time, Bryan was hoping to stay with the group and be involved in the planned Cena/Wyatt Wrestlemania program since Bryan had no plans for Mania at that time.
Bryan says he was disappointed when Vince told him he would be facing Sheamus again at Wrestlemania 2014. No disrespect to Sheamus, but Bryan felt he belonged in a higher spot.
Bryan felt bad for the way Rey Mysterio was boo'd at the 2014 Royal Rumble.
When Punk quit WWE after Rumble that year, Bryan remembers how plans didn't change too much for a few weeks, and he assumes Vince expected Punk to come back and for Batista to win the crowds over, and neither happened.
Triple H was being vocal about wanting to face Bryan at Mania that year, but Bryan was trying to not get his hopes up since he had seen Triple H try and fail to get his ideas on screen.
Bryan and Brie only agreed to let Total Divas shoot their wedding, because Total Divas agreed to pay for the whole wedding! Hard to say no to that!
Bryan is very satisfied with his matches at Wrestlemania 30 and says he was so focused between matches that he missed Undertaker losing to Lesnar. He heard the ring bell and looked up at the monitor in shock. He says they cameras should have filmed the guys and girls in the back because their reactions were wild, apparently.
Five days after Wrestlemania 30, Bryan and Brie got married, but 2 days after their honeymoon ended, Bryan's dad unexpectedly passed away at the age of 57. Bryan was devastated and described how he was crying still as he was writing about it.
The book ends on a complete downer, very unlike most other wrestling books. Bryan says that as long as he wrestled when asked if everything he was missing or sacrificing was worth it, Bryan always said yes. He assumed he would have more time when he was done and could catch up on what he missed, but his dad is gone and Bryan openly admits that it wasn't worth it. If he could, Bryan would change a lot of his decisions if it meant more time with his dad.
He says he is still wrestling though because he literally doesn't know what else to do or what comes after. This is especially depressing 10 years later, when Bryan is still wrestling despite having started a family of his own. I hope he doesn't regret any time missed with his daughter.
He ends the book by describing the last time he saw his dad, on Christmas in 2013, where his dad dressed up as Santa. Fuck. I'm sad now.