Apri combination birth control pill is ruining my life
I went off birth control for the first time since high school (2015) in December and I felt amazing. My “depression” was gone, my appetite was normal, I was losing weight, I was sleeping good, I was being productive. I originally chalked it up to one of my mental health diagnosis and thought I was just managing everything well. I literally was thriving!
However I started BC again, same type different generic brand, in April and I’m convinced all of my mental health issues since highschool were caused by birth control. I’m having horrible night sweats so I’m not sleeping, I’m exhausted all the time, I constantly have full body aches, I have no motivation to do anything. My appetite is all sorts of fucked where nothing sounds good so I don’t eat until I’m starving and then I over eat and I’ve gained weight. I can’t get myself to do literally anything. If I have any free time I spend it in bed because I’m so freaking tired. All of these side effects were almost immediate and I thought they would go away in a month or two but I’m still miserable. literally the only thing I changed was the birth control.
I know I need to talk to my OB, but I just wanted to be a little bit more prepared. Has anyone else made this connection?/has these sort of reactions/side effects? What options do I have? Should I try a different version of the pill? Will the implant have less side effects? Is my only non hormonal option condoms or the copper iud? I am absolutely miserable and need to make this stop.

Anyone ever experience extreme menstrual issues after quitting Wellbutrin? I’ve read stories of having problems on it, but not any from quitting.
I stopped taking this medication and immediately started bleeding excessively, in large quantities for two months straight. Had everything examined and my reproductive system is totally fine. No doctor will even recognize that I think it’s because I stopped the Wellbutrin, just looking for other’s experiences.

Originally I wanted to do a VS fight inbetween characters, but then I realized powerscaling sucks, and putting characters from different fangames against one another in fights might be either really one sided or boring to figure out.
So I decided to see who would become friends if the cast of Pokemon Insurgence interacted with the cast of Pokemon Reborn.
I love both of these games and I did this only because I have kept combining both of these games together in my mind ever since I've first finished Reborn, I basically love these games too much for me to ever let go of them and I will forever find ways of combining the games together whenever I can.
I also did this post just for the fun of it so please don't try to chop my head off with an axe if you dislike some of the things I said here.
Of course I'll give some much needed context and background to each character in Insurgence so you guys can understand how I thought this out.

Orion

Orion is the first gym leader of the torren region, the fire/grass gym leader who specializes in a sun team, who was often bullied for being friends with a seemingly inanimate white rock, which later turned out to be Reshiram.
Orion here, I would imagine would get particularly well with Anna, due to the fact they are both rather young, and both have been rather made fun of or not be taken seriously in what they see or say.
Anna with her whole...............whole character and Orion with his rock. Due to these same reasons, I'd think he'd also get along with Luna.

Xavier

Xavier is the second gym leader of pokemon Insurgence, a master in bug and poison types, with a mega beedrill as his ace, he doesn't really do a lot, he mostly just hangs around, and isn't really important to the plot, he is mostly just a layed back dude who loves nature and smokes marijuana, and was actually once a pokemon ranger before being a gym leader.
I'd think he'd get along well with Blake, maybe the 2 go for a smoke or 2, chill out, play some call of duty or something.
I'd also think he would get along with Laura due to both of them being rather big fans of nature.

East

Uhhhhhhh, East...is a meat rider......ok East is the third gym leader in the game, and his only purpose, is to be loyal to a cult leader....and die after losing against the player character.....I'd think he'd get along well with El and that's about it.
Look, I'm one of the biggest pokemon insurgence fans, I played this game a minimum of 20 times, but this character gets 1 scene in the whole game before they die.

Harmony

Harmony is the 4th gym leader of the game, a polite madam that specializes in Normal and Fairy types, in the game she appear to warn Orion before a cult tries to steal his white rock, and she herself is traumatized at seeing her father get turned into a deoxys hybrid by her previous friend who became a cult leader......Insurgence.
I would find her easily able to get along with Laura, due to both of them really matching in personalities, as well as her getting along well with Julia, Florinia, Amaria and Titania, since I do think she could REALLY get along just fine with all 4 of them.
I would also think she would get along with Adrienn due to both of them being fairy type leaders as well as.....genuinely nice people trying to do better.

Anastasia

Anastasia is the 5th gym leader of the torren region, specializing in steel and electric types, she is also known to do shady deals for MONEY!!!!! Yeah she made a Zekrom armor for a cult member to make his Zekrom stronger......yeah that's something that happens.
I'd honestly find her being able to get along well with Evelynn due to both of them being mechanics and both of them helping terrorists :DDDD (Although ones motive was way better than the others)

Diana

Diana is the 6th gym leader of torren, specializing in Ghost and Psychic types, being a lover to the 7th gym leader Calreath (before he dies). has a Cresselia, and is a sibling to the Cult leader Persephone, once you finish her quest in the post game, she stops being a gym leader and becomes a pokemon researcher alongside the regions professor.
Diana would most likely get along well with Shelly, due to the fact both took up pokemon studying in the future and both of them having rather shaky relationships with their Siblings.
Whilst I also see her befriending potentially Julia due to her personality wise not being too different from her dead lover.
I'd also think she might get along with Serra and Radomus....no reason it's just a gut feeling on this one.

Calreath

Calreath is the 7th gym leader of the torren region, lover of Diana, being chosen by Manaphy, and specializing in electric, water and dragon types, dying only because the cult leader Zenith made him fall into the depths of the infernal base when he could.
Calreath as a personality is very joyful, very happy, i'd think he'd honestly get along well with a lot of people, I think Hardy, Julia, Terra, Lin, Blake and Cain might be some of the first characters I think off in this matter.....that would have been if he was ALIVE but woopsie daisies.

Adam

Adam is the final gym leader of insurgence, the dark type specialist, the prior augur (which meant the protector of the region, strongest trainer in the region, and chosen by Arceus to guide a crystal holding his power), he was also chosen by Hoopa and is the protagonists father.
Before the story starts, Adam was forced into a corner by The second augur, Jaern and Persephone into a dream realm, made up in his sons mind to keep him locked there, after which he almost died via having a Gengar use dream eater on his child to make them forget completely about him.
I'd think Adam would get along pretty well with Amethyst, for the reason that they are both the previous strongest trainer in their region.
I would also think he would get along well with Noel and Anastasia, probably seeing a bit of his own child within them, on that note I think he would also get along well with Radomus, probably being able to share the pain he had when his whole life fell apart together with Radomus.
I'd also think he might get along well with Lin! Both of them are fans of hydreigon (He has a mega Hydreigon on him), and Adam might be a good father figure for Lin!

Damian

Damian is the first rival in pokemon insurgence, starting out together with you as someone who was adopted, later in the game he gets chosen by Shaymin, helps defeat the second augur, gaining at least a bit of a backbone before losing it to his friend telling him his step mother was right about him (when she said he was just a child and he wasn't ready for a pokemon yet), gets abducted by the deoxys man previously mentioned, finds out his mother is Audrey, leader of the abyssal cult, sees his mother potentially die infront of his eyes, only to get told he's gonna make the world better, gets healed in the postgame, helps save his mother and finally decides he wants to help people.
Alright, first things first, I find him to be likely to become really good friends with Taka, not only due to the similarities, Taka being the son of Sol and Damian the son of Audrey, but also because they would just make good friends.
Other than that, I find him likely able to befriend Lumi and Evelynn, not through any particular reason I just really think he would, and perhaps he could also befriend Amaria, I feel like he would really be able to do that.

Nora

Nora is the second rival of the game, chosen by celebi at the start of her journey, going off on her friend telling him his step mother was right about him then immediately feeling remorse upon her actions, trying the whole game to fix this only to see her friend get infected with a Deoxys virus and disappear from her life, then proceed to become seemingly irrelevant for the rest of the game..........yup....she does nothing else........she's just there....
As a person she's likely to become friends with quite a lot of the characters in reborn, Anna, Noel, Shelly, Cain, Victoria, Luna, Sera, Heather (although that is debatable), since she really is quite friendly in the game just.,...kinda pushed aside after the 6th badge.

Jaern

Jaern is the second augur, in the story he uses his reputation and political power as the second augur to make himself seem like an unkillable god when in reality he's weaker than Fern, he sacrifices the 3rd gym leader to summon rayquaza, only for him to suck ass at using the most broken pokemon in existence.
Honestly the only person that he might get along with would be Fern, but only to annoy one another.

Audrey

Audrey is the leader of the abyssal cult, mother of Damian, and is obsessed with raising the ocean levels due to a Tentacruel evolution that occured a long time ago when Kyogre was rampaging through hoenn.
As a character she might get along with possibly Serra due to both of them being parents (although one better than the other)
And Amaria only and only because she is a water type specialist

Zenith

So on short, he's a cocky cult leader that worships groudon, that almost succeeded at taking over the region after selling people fake vaccine shots.....look the game finished in 2016-2017-2018, it was before covid, the developer is pro Vaccination ok? This was just an unfortunate plotline he wrote into the game.
But nah, I don't think anyone would be a fan of Zenith, like literally no one, this guy just sucks.

Persephone

Persephone is the leader of the darkrai cult, she's responsible for the player losing their memory, she's the sister of Diana and is a bit insane in trying to catch Darkrai, and hating her sister due to the fact that Diana and Persephone, when they were young they were under the influence of Zenith, and were part of the Infernal cult, Diana leaving Persephone alone under Zenith's control and leaving Persephone to lose her mind and dying for revenge both on her sister and Zenith.
I feel like she might not be able to befriend...anyone, maybe just Sapphira because both of them are striven by the need to get back at those who hurt them, but nothing more.

Taen

Taen is the underling of Reukra, the leader of the perfection cult, he spent the majority of this game trying to make the original dragon and failed.
He might only and only be able to get along semi well with Sigmund, maybe finding respect in his experiments....which....if you were to get along with Sigmund, there might be something wrong with you.
Someone else he might find appreciation for is Evelynn, due to the fact she created the pulse machine, and so he would probably be very interested in how the machines work and how Evelynn made them, basically a worse Florina.

Reukra

Reukra is the champion and leader of the perfection cult, he has only 1 thing keeping him forward in life, the search for perfection, he made delta pokemon (which in Insurgence are mostly man made variations of already existing pokemon, ex: a grimer made out of sand), he made mega evolutions, armors, tried with the original dragon, remade mewtwo, and almost succeded in finding the Perfect team.
As for who he would get along with, I think he might forge a friendship with Sol, Sol wanting a perfect world and him striving for perfection, it goes hand in hand.
Another one he might find enjoyment for is Lyn, not Lyn as in Lyn, but in Lyn the doll, most likely being fascinated by how she's able to win fights like that, studying her matches and seeing what he can try to do to have that synergy, that perfect team he's striving for.......when he doesn't know her matches are already decided to be won.

The Player

The player is the player..........they are likely to become good friends with everyone from reborn, most likely the doll as well

Quick Mentions

Gail - He is a protestor...he has a zygarde...he might get along with Sandy
Nyx - She is someone that tried to bring Giratina back to power (long story short instead of Arceus creating the universe, Giratina created it, Arceus overthrow them, took their power and Giratina was seen as the devil). she might be able to befriend Lyn...or maybe not since Giratina is pretty anti Arceus.
The E4 - They have no appearences in the game nor any major personalities to speak off, they...they are nothing, really.
King Vesryn - He's one of the first ever pokemon trainers, king of the Vesryn and Aroma regions, both of which are regions from pokemon Omicron and Zeta, another game that the developer, Suzerain, worked on, and he might get along with possibly Elias.
TheSuzerain - Ok this is technically cheating, but the developer suzerain, inserted himself within Insurgence as the character Suzerain, being one of the 8 timeless, which are really strong trainers across the pokemon verse (Cynthia, Steven stone, Red, Dawn, N, Alain, King Vesryn and Suzerain), but...due to both of them being technically self inserts...I would like to think Amethyst would get along with him :DDDD

Conclusion:

Boredom does something to humans...I am one of them, this was done because for one...I just wanted to put my thoughts on this out in the open.
And second I was really bored, and thought this will be a fun time waster, and it was, be sure to tell me what you guys think, and enjoy your day.

Sorry mods, had to repost because the title was worded weird. I'll try to keep this concise, but it's a doozy.
My girlfriend (38F) and I (30M) have been dating for about a year. A month before we started dating, she announced to her friends and I that 1) she divorced her husband (37M) and 2) she had been diagnosed with a very early stage 1 cancer, and would be getting surgery ASAP.
We started dating at a very cautious pace given everything going on. She made me promise to let her handle her health situation on her own. She was really anxious to get the surgery and be "done with the whole thing."
A few months into our relationship, I went on a business trip. The second day in, she called me to tell me that she called the surgeon's office and bumped the surgery up from weeks away to the next day. I lost it. I was supposed to be gone for another two days, which means no one would be home to help her post-op. I moved my schedule around and booked a (very expensive) flight for the next morning, so I could at least see her a few hours after the surgery. She paid for my flight, apologizing profusely.
I came home and found her resting in bed with a bandage. We followed the orders she'd been given about not moving around too much, what to eat, and so on. I took care of her as she recovered over the next 48 hours. Did all the house chores, took care of her dog, comforted her.
Fast forward to now. We've spent almost 24/7 together since then, growing and nurturing our relationship, family planning, and all that. The cancer became a distant memory. I know a year isn't a very long time, but I was pretty sure I was going to marry her if things continued on this trajectory. I'm Autistic, and she's the only partner who's ever "gotten me" and helped me as I struggle with stupid stuff like loud alarms or certain foods.
Lately, something wasn't sitting right with me about the surgery the more I thought about it. For one thing, the person that supposedly drove my girlfriend to/from the hospital was someone I'd never met, and had texted me through my girlfriend's phone—rather than their own—to let me know she was okay. She was also incredibly shy about her scar. Above all, her surgeon was apparently a family friend from way out of state, who had flown over to do the operation. But knowing her and all the crazy shit she's been through, I chalked it up as another one of her wild serendipitous adventures.
I pressed her about the surgery as gently as I could over the past month. She would clam up anytime I brought it up, but said it was because of how traumatic the experience was. The damning thing was that she couldn't provide me with any proof that the surgery happened besides her scar. She said she'd lost the medical records, and since we'd switched insurance, she couldn't find them from her old provider.
After pushing and pushing, sleuthing around, doubting myself, and verging on paranoia, I sat her down and told her I didn't believe her, but that I wasn't angry and just wanted to know why she faked it. She came clean.
Turns out that a year before we met, her then-husband did some really shitty things at a public networking event that she was part of. One of the guests was a writer for a large newspaper, and gave her notice that he was publishing an exposé on her inability to keep her husband under control and how she wasn't fit to do her job, et cetera. From what she tells me, it was a damning article because of how many witnesses there were. Her field is super fickle about reputation; the story would've ruined her.
So in collaboration with her ex-husband, she decided that the only way to dissuade them from publishing the article would be to throw a curveball. So they spread the rumor that she had been diagnosed with cancer— one that she'd actually already had as a child, hence the scar (which you couldn't see unless you looked for it). Her ex promised to let the lie die with him, especially because it was his fuck-up that sprouted the exposé.
By the time we met, the lie was already in motion, and it worked. The article didn't get published, and everyone felt sorry for her. Her hope was that she would fake the surgery, tell everyone she was okay, and lay it to rest. And that's exactly what happened.
The one wrench in her plan was that the two of us met and started dating in the middle of it. She was so guilty and terrified of letting the truth get out to anyone, and kept it from me even after the fact until I finally pushed her to fess up.
While I understand that she and her ex were doing what they thought was the only option to keep their jobs, I do resent her for the emotional turmoil she put me through and for letting me take care of her when she hadn't actually had cancer in the first place. I told her, "I can't imagine telling a lie like that and not having the guilt eat me alive," and she said, "It did. Every day." But not enough to tell me, I guess.
That was two days ago. I asked for time to process. She's been crying non-stop but still trying to support me, answering any and every question I have, and reassuring me that whatever decision I make, she'll understand. She says she genuinely wanted to bury that lie with her past, but it overlapped with this chapter, that she was terrified that if I knew I would expose her, and that she'll regret the way she hurt me for the rest of her life.
I'm in therapy already and will be ramping up my sessions. At my therapist's recommendation, she booked a consult with a specialist in trauma/borderline personality disorder. She starts treatment next week. I'm still feeling a mixed bag of betrayal, anger, sadness, and relief.
Despite everything that's happened, I don't want to leave her. At the same time, I don't want this to be a "fool me twice" situation. What else has she lied about that I haven't sniffed out? What's to keep her from pulling a stunt like this again? I've suspected that she's had BPD for a while now, and I do genuinely believe that she's a victim of the circumstances of her past and needs help. I just need help figuring out whether or not I'm capable of being a potential casualty in the process, or if I think I can be firm enough about my boundaries going forward and find it in myself to forgive her— IF she gets help.
Tl;dr Girlfriend maintained a lie about a diagnosis that she'd started before we met. She finally came clean, and I have to decide whether or not to call off the relationship. Gentle advice appreciated— I'm a bit of a wreck.

A month ago, I switched my birth control pill to a slightly higher dosage. I started it after my placebo week and didn’t know I was supposed to skip that week and start the new pack immediately. I had unprotected sex the first week I started my new pack. I’m supposed to be “getting my period” today but I haven’t gotten it yet. Will I be okay?

I have been wanting a tattoo for awhile, finally got a design I want, but the roadblock I now have is the medication I’m on. I have to take a baby aspirin daily which is a blood thinner for my heart condition.
I’m going to preface this by saying I 100% understand the reluctance to work on individuals with medical conditions. I know being on a blood thinner means there will be an increased likelihood of bleeding during the process.
I have been having an extremely difficult time finding artists who are willing to work on me. I have found a place that does if I have a doctors note. Problem is even though all of my doctors are fine with me stopping my baby aspirin a few days before and after, they won’t write a note to clear me. Is a screenshot of the messages going to be enough?
Any advice on how to navigate this would be appreciated. Surely I can’t be the first person with medical conditions to run into this problem.

Kiki made her way to the beauty salon that Kyoko had given her the address to. When she arrived, she didn't see Junko or Kimiko inside. Kiki looked around, so sure that they'd be there. Just as she thought about leaving, she saw two girls, one tall, one really short, in matching outfits leaving the bathroom. Kiki's eyes nearly jumped out of her skull, realizing that the little girl was Kimiko. They were both wearing black boleros with leopard cuffs over white tank tops, very short denim shorts, and massive, black, fluffy legwarmers over some black, heeled ankle boots. Kimiko's piled-up hair hair was crimped and dyed light brown. On her fingernails were red, long fake nails. She even wore light makeup with long, fake lashes. Kiki walked over to them in disbelief.
"Kimiko?! " she exclaimed in horror and disbelief. Kimiko curled her lip in disgust at Kiki, as if Kiki were a mold stain on the wall.

"Yeah, so?" she scoffed. "You got a problem?"
"Well, considering I'm not the one who's dressed like a floozy, no!" Kiki cried. Kimiko rolled her eyes.
"Nyeh...joke's on you. I don't have the flu," she replied, misinterpreting Kiki's words. "Now, move it. There's something me and Big Sis Junko have to take care of."
"That's riiight," Junko sang in a low voice, eyeing Kiki with an ominous grin. She placed her hands on Kimiko's shoulders. "Let's go, Kimiko." Kimiko reached into her backpack and pulled out a small, silver wand with a light green crystal at the end. Kiki gasped. She didn't know much about magic, but she figured that it must have been Kimiko's wand. With one last evil grin at Kiki, Kimiko followed Junko out of the hair salon. It was too late! Kimiko had undoubtedly informed Junko about her magic, about Himiko's magic! Kiki was aware that the situation was now out of her control. She needed to fight magic with magic, and she knew just where to go.
***
"Nyeeeh...Kimiko, wake up already!" Himiko growled, nudging Kimiko's doppelganger. "I don't care if you're ignoring me! Stop ignoring me and get out of bed!"
"Maybe she's sick," Tomiko suggested.
"Or maybe she's just being stubborn, like a bratty teenager!" Himiko huffed, throwing her hands on her hips. "Nyeh...how can you be seven years old and a teenager at the same time?!"

"Nee-heehee...just ask Kaito," Kokichi said, walking into the living room. "He may be a teenager, but he sure as heck has the brain of a seven-year-old!" He gave Himiko a kiss on her cheek. "What's the matter, Monkey Buns?"
"Kimiko is acting up again!" Himiko answered. "Nyeh...Kokichi, if we ever end up having kids, remind me not to get a teenager!"
"Yeah...they're not a very good breed of children," Kokichi joked with a cheeky grin. "They're super moody, socially awkward, and difficult to keep on a leash."
"I don't know whether to laugh, or be offended," Tomiko said.
"Nee-heehee...I usually have that effect on people," Kokichi said proudly.
"Hey!" Himiko cried, turning Kimiko's doppelganger over. "Th-This isn't Kimiko!"
"What do you mean?" Kokichi asked, raising a brow. He looked closer at the doppelganger. "It looks like her to me." Tomiko smacked Kimiko's copy. It didn't move.
"It's a doppelganger," she breathed in disbelief. "She created a doppelganger of herself! It'll only do what Kimiko tells it to do." Himiko's eyes widened.
"Oh, no!" she cried. "That means she's not here!"
"She must have sneaked away to...'go to the park,' as she so eloquently put it yesterday," Kokichi said. Himiko looked worriedly at him.
"Do you think that was a lie?" she asked in a small voice.

"No," Kokichi replied, shaking his head. "I know that was a lie."
"W-Why didn't you say anything?!" Himiko cried.
"Chibi-Kichi said she wanted to handle it," Kokichi replied.
"And you just let her do that?!" Himiko cried.
"Well, I mean...you didn't do anything about it, either, Himiko," Kokichi pointed out. "You could have just asked Chibi-Kichi yourself what was going on."
"Well, you're the brains in our relationship!" Himiko exclaimed. "You can't expect me to figure that out!"
"As the oldest of Kimiko and me...yeah, we kinda have to expect you to figure that out," Tomiko interjected. Himiko shot a glare at Tomiko, who shrank back under the covers.
"Tomiko does have a point, Himiko," Kokichi said firmly. "You need to take responsibility as the oldest sister when your mom and grandma aren't around. You're their leader, so whatever happens to them, you're mostly to blame." Himiko looked at him in disbelief. Kokichi held up his hands. "I'm only speaking from experience. As the Supreme Leader, I had to learn that, too. But, it's true. As the oldest, you can't expect your sisters to lead themselves. You have to be the example. As the one in charge, you're responsible for their well-being. If you don't know what Kimiko is doing while she's out of the house, it's not her fault if she gets into trouble, it's yours. You have to be more involved with her." Himiko listened silently and nodded her head grimly when he finished speaking.
"Nyeh...you're right," she mumbled. "So...what do we do, now? Should we go over to Kiki's house?" Before Kokichi could answer, they heard the doorbell ringing repeatedly. Kokichi ran over to the door and answered it. Kiki was on the other side, panting her little lungs out as if she just ran a marathon.
"Kiki!" Kokichi exclaimed. Himiko and Tomiko joined Kokichi at his sides. Kokichi knelt down and held Kiki's shoulders. "What's wrong?"
"W-Where's Kimiko?!" Himiko demanded.
"No...time...to talk," Kiki panted. "F-Follow...me!" She closed her eyes, suddenly feeling light-headed and fell forward into Kokichi's arms. Kokichi picked her up.
"Kiki...where's Kimiko?" he asked, gently nudging her. Kiki cracked her eyes open.
"With...Junko..." she said. Kokichi and Himiko's eyes widened with horror.
"JUNKO?! " they cried simultaneously.
Part Ten
Kokichi and Himiko stepped outside with Kiki still in Kokichi's arms. The once sunny, blue sky had taken a dark, foreboding green turn. The clouds became charcoal black. The air became eerily silent. No wind. No warmth. The temperature around them dropped to the point where they could see their breath.
"Welp, either the forecast for today was wrong, or Junko suddenly knew how to control the weather," Kokichi joked wryly. They looked over in the distance towards the city. Right above the tallest building, the clouds were swirling like inky snakes curling around their prey. Flashes of green lightning streaked upwards towards the sky.
"And Kimiko's with her," Himiko whispered in horror, shuddering as she rubbed her arms with her hands to generate heat. "What is Junko doing to her? How is Junko doing all of this?"
"She's using Kimiko's magic," Kiki replied grimly. Kokichi and Himiko gasped.

"W-What...are you talking about?" Himiko stammered nervously. "Kimiko doesn't have mag-"
"I know about your guys' magic," Kiki interrupted. "Kimiko told me about it. But, that's not important right now." Kiki explained everything, even the reason why Kimiko started acting up in the first place. She told them how manipulative Junko was. She told them about meeting up with Kyoko and figuring out Junko's plot for revenge. Kokichi couldn't help but smile proudly at her as he listened. Kiki turned to Himiko. "Right now, Junko's using Kimiko to lure you over to her, so she can get rid of you, especially since she doesn't think you'll fight Kimiko." Himiko shuddered, turning to Kokichi with wide eyes.
"We have to go, Himiko," Kokichi said firmly. "Junko already knows about your magic. Who knows what else she'll use Kimiko for? We have to stop her. For Kimiko's sake." Himiko put on a brave face and nodded.
"Right!" she said. "Let's go!"
"We can take the Mischief Maker," Kokichi said, referring to the moped that Miu had invented for them. Kokichi put Kiki down. "Stay here, Chibi-Kichi, alright? I don't want you getting hurt."
"Okay, Kokichi," Kiki nodded. "Be careful." Kokichi kissed her forehead and hopped up onto the Mischief Maker with Himiko right behind him. Then, they drove off towards the tallest skyscraper in the city. Kiki watched as they rode away. She didn't want to disobey Kokichi, but she couldn't sit there and do nothing. Her gut was telling her to follow them, and so she decided to do just that.
***
Once Kokichi and Himiko arrived at the skyscraper, they hurriedly entered it, and took the elevator to the roof. The elevator doors opened to a horrific sight: Kimiko with an evil grin with Junko standing behind her with an equally menacing grin. Himiko gaped at her sister's overall appearance that matched Junko's
"Glad you could make it," Junko said. "We've been expecting you, haven't we, Kimiko?"
"Nyeh...that's right, Big Sis Junko," Kimiko answered. Himiko slowly approached Kimiko.
"Kimiko...don't do this," she said, pleading with her sister. "Please, come with me."
Why? So you two can break Kimiko's heart again?" Junko asked. She grabbed Kimiko's shoulders and crouched down to her level, murmuring in her ear. "Remember how you felt when you saw them kissing, Kimiko? How they totally left you out, and didn't even care about you? They don't care about you. Kokichi only tries to be nice because he thinks you're annoying." Kimiko glared at Kokichi, her eyes filled with hatred.
"Kimiko, that's not true," Kokichi said firmly. "Don't believe her."
"Why should Himiko, the ugly sister, get Kokichi all to herself?" Junko continued. "Don't you think you deserve better, Kimiko?"
"Leave her alone!! Get away from her!!" Himiko yelled furiously. She ran towards Junko and Kimiko. Kimiko aimed her wand at Himiko, causing Himiko to stop dead in her tracks.
"Ah-ah-ah..." Junko said, wagging her finger at Himiko. "One more step, and your sister here will end you." Kimiko grinned evilly at Himiko. Tears formed in Himiko's eyes.
"K-Kimiko..." she whispered.
"You never loved me," Kimiko growled, her indignant voice stinging Himiko. "You wanted everything for yourself. You wanted Kokichi for yourself. I loved him and you took him away from me!"
"Kimiko, no!" Himiko cried. "I do love you! I really do! I just want what's best for you!"
"Kokichi's what's best for me," Kimiko said.
"Kimiko, if you think I'm what's best for you, will you listen to me?" Kokichi said. Kimiko turned to Kokichi, now aiming her wand at him. Kokichi held up his hands. "Listen to me, Kimiko. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I didn't mean to."
"He's lying," Junko hissed in Kimiko's ear.
"Don't listen to Junko, Kimiko," Kokichi said firmly.
"He's just trying to be nice again," Junko continued. "He doesn't care about you at all!" Tears fell from Kimiko's eyes.
"Y-You...you're lying!" she cried.
"No, Kimiko, I'm not," Kokichi said. "Junko is the one who's lying to you. You're nicer than this, Kimiko! Remember when we played beauty salon, and you did my hair and nails? Remember when I took you next door to see the puppet show? Remember that? It was fun, right?" Kimiko lowered her wand a bit.
"Those were all lies," Junko said quickly. "He was actually annoyed that he had to deal with you. He'd rather spend time with Himiko instead of you." Kimiko became blinded with rage all over again.
"I HATE YOU!!" she screeched at Kokichi. "LEAVE ME ALONE!!" Green, magical energy formed around her wand, and she shot it straight at Kokichi. He held up his arms, blocking his face, then slowly opened his eyes, realizing that he hadn't been hit. Instead, Himiko stood in front of him, holding up her Guardian Mage staff. She had blocked Kimiko's attack.
"That's enough!" Himiko demanded.
"Oooh...so you're going to fight your sister after all?" Junko said with an evil grin. "I must admit, I didn't expect that." Himiko's lip quivered, but she forced herself to lift her chin and remain calm.
"I'm not going to fight her," Himiko said. "I'm going to make you give her over to me, if it's the last thing I ever do!"
"I don't think you have a choice," Junko sneered. "If you're not willing to fight your sister, I guess you've already lost. She is my protector, after all. She'd do anything to protect me, won't you, Kimiko?"
"Yes, Big Sis Junko," Kimiko replied obediently, glaring at Himiko. Junko narrowed her eyes at Himiko, her grin menacing and deadly.

"Destroy her," she murmured in Kimiko's ear.

Hi.
I was on birth control for 10 years. I took the 21 pills and did the 7 day break as always. I had my withdrawal period and everything. But instead of starting it on May 31st, I just stopped it and didn't took it anymore. Two days ago, June 5th, I bled randomly in the middle of the afternoon. It was red and brown. It stained my underwear and my pants but it wasn't that much. When I wiped there was still a dark pink blood. I didn't have any more bleeding after that. The next day I had sex and the condom had pinkish/redish spots on it because I was having some discharge but I didn't bled again.
Can breakthrough bleeding be like this? I know it is normal for having irregular bleedings but I'm not used to anything of this at all neither I know anyone who stopped birth control. Can it be just one time and it stops? Can this happen again before I've my real period? Is it because of the lack of hormones, even if I already had my withdrawal 5 days last week? Can it even be ovulation bleeding? Do any of you had the same experience?

Hi everyone,
I’m 22f and recently the birth control I use for extreme period symptoms hasn’t been helping, as I’ve been bleeding and having a “period” every other week. Before this, BC did ease my symptoms but I have times where they are still unmanageable with BC. I’m going to my OBGYN soon to try and resolve the bleeding, and I was wondering if I should pursue an endo diagnosis. Usually when I see my OBGYN I’m just too exhausted from everything to keep advocating for myself.
Ever since I first got my period, they’ve been extremely painful. I’ve passed out in the bathroom and woken up on the floor confused. Sometimes I vomit and shake and turn very pale. I’ve scared roommates because sometimes I just lay on the ground screaming. Sometimes it’s too painful to scream or cry and I just can’t do anything. Occasionally when it gets to that point I have suicidal thoughts, because the pain is just so all consuming and I need it to end. I don’t think I would ever actually go through with that, but it does scare me. I’ve ended up in the ER twice due to cramps because I had extreme pain in public and other people have insisted on taking me to the hospital. Nothing ever came out of those visits except for extra pain medicine.
For other potential symptoms, I have very extreme chronic fatigue. I did get a sleep apnea diagnosis which helped a bit, but the fatigue still feels like it’s coming from every part of my body. I get headaches and pains in my lower back and legs, but those are manageable. I’ve tried masturbating on my period to relieve cramps, but an orgasm leads to extreme cramps deep in my body. I have extreme pain with bowel movements during my period, and that’s when I’m most likely to pass out.
I’ve been on BC pretty much since I got my first period because my OBGYN said the pain was normal. My old primary doc said I probably have a low pain tolerance and told me to use naproxen. The only time I got some validation from a medical professional was when I had appendicitis, and a nurse kept offering me pain medicine, but I declined saying it was absolutely nothing compared to my cramps. That concerned him but I was pretty young when that happened and my parents weren’t worried about it.
I’m nervous to try for a diagnosis and waste time, money, and more mental energy, especially if it turns out I don’t have endo. I know people have said they got diagnosed when they had an appendectomy, but since that didn’t happen to me I’m worried I’m incorrect with my concerns. I also had surgery last year that ended badly after a reaction to the anesthesia, and the idea of going under again for laparoscopy terrifies me.
Regardless I just have a gut feeling that now might be the time to pursue a diagnosis. I know this is a really long post, but I was wondering if anyone had any advice or similar experiences. If I do decide to push for a diagnosis, I would love to hear any tips for taking care of yourself through that process. Thank you in advance. 🩵

I’ve (26M) struggled with depression and some suicidal ideation on and off since I was 16. It was a long road and took a lot of work on myself and countless hours of therapy, but around the end of 2023, I was in what I now consider to be the peak of my life. I was working a job I mostly liked, two semesters away from finishing my bachelor’s degree online and exercising almost every other day. After years of loneliness, I finally found a friend group I really adored spending time with, and I had a boyfriend with whom I hadn’t even realized I had fallen in love, whom I’d seen for about 6 months. For perhaps the first time, I had a generally positive outlook, I felt confident and attractive, and I had so much going for me. I had no clue that I was about to make a decision that would significantly alter that course and steer me off into the deepest, darkest depression and most relentless desire to end it all that I’ve ever felt. This is a very long and personal post about my decision to have surgery that I now, in hindsight, believe to have been unnecessary. The surgery itself has left me with chronic pain and probably lifelong negative consequences that are far worse than anything I ever experienced prior. I’ve kept most of this to myself other than sharing it with my therapist, and although I’m on the ledge, I think writing it all down and putting it out there may calm me somewhat. I haven’t spared some graphic details of some of the more sensitive changes to my body because I want this to be as detailed and accurate as possible. And anyway, why should I care? I may be dead soon anyway... My hope is that if I share my story, someone, somewhere, might benefit from it and might not make the same mistake I did that has me sincerely wanting to off myself. So here it goes.
Around NovembeDecember 2023, I started experiencing some strange stabbing pain in my upper right abdomen that would come on suddenly and then go away for no obvious reason. I also thought I saw trace amounts of blood in my stool, and this concerned me enough that I reached out to my primary care doctor at the beginning of January. My doctor is always booked for months, so they told me to go to the emergency room. The ER was packed, and I ended up sitting in the waiting room for about eight hours in between going for an ultrasound and a CT scan. I was getting very tired of waiting and was about ready to give up and leave as I had to work early in the morning the next day. Looking back, I wish I had left. Just before I was about to leave, they called me back and told me that they found something on the CT scan called an intussusception in my small bowel. This is a condition where the intestine gets caught on a “lead point” and folds in on itself, sort of like a telescope. It is most often found in infants and is very rarely found in people my age, yet I was told it is a medical emergency because the tissue of my bowel could die if left untreated, and/or the lead point could be a potentially cancerous tumor. They admitted me and told me they would scan me again in the morning because, despite the severity, there was a chance it could resolve. Hearing that I would be staying overnight shocked me, as I had never been hospitalized before, having always been in good physical health. I have never had digestive issues in the past, I’ve never been diagnosed with Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis or anything of the sort, and I had never heard of this condition, but every medical professional I spoke to seemed very concerned that I had it. They didn’t have a bed for me in the hospital at that point, so I had to sleep in the packed and quite chaotic ER. About an hour after I was given a bed, a man was admitted a few feet from me who was very aggressive with all of the nurses, screaming and cursing at them throughout the night. I was not allowed to eat or drink, given the possibility of surgery. I struggled to get any sleep in that environment and woke up the next morning feeling very lethargic.
The surgeon and resident came by my bed and we spoke briefly. The surgeon explained that while the condition was serious, if it continued to show up in my CT scans, they could do minimally invasive laparoscopic surgery to resect the piece of my bowel that was telescoped and stitch it back together. I feel they really downplayed the severity of this procedure. I will never forget them saying, “It’s such a small piece of your bowel, you won’t miss it.” They felt that since I was young and otherwise healthy, I should have no problem making a full recovery. I felt confident in the fact that I was speaking to the chief of surgery at the hospital, who has more than twenty years of experience in the field. Then they brought me for my second scan, and within a few hours I was told the intussusception had not resolved. I was admitted to a hospital room, and the resident came to discuss moving forward with the surgery. My first impulse was “absolutely not,” but I quickly second-guessed myself. Everything I saw in the limited research I was able to do on my phone stated that this was indeed a serious condition that warranted surgery. In that moment, it seemed like the reasons not to go through with it were somewhat vain, such as not wanting the scars and having to forgo lifting weights at the gym for some time. Though it didn’t quite make sense to me that they wanted to operate on the complete opposite side of my body from the one that was in pain and which brought me into the ER in the first place. When I asked the resident about this, he responded, “We don’t understand how referred pain works,” Okay, fair enough, I thought. More than anything, I thought that if a doctor was in front of me, telling me what was going on with my body was an emergency situation that warranted immediate surgery, I should probably listen to them. They’re the “experts,” after all. And given the state I was in, having been in the hospital for over 24 hours at that point, running on very little sleep and nothing to eat, I don’t think I really had the capacity to fully parse what was going on, but given the doctors level of concern, it seemed like I urgently had to make a decision. After about an hour of talking it over with my mother, even though I never had any pain in the area they were about to operate on, I signed the consent papers. (Biggest fucking mistake of my life) I remember they listed risks of things that could go wrong during or shortly after the surgery, such as infection, bowel perforation, etc. They did not mention the procedure’s possible long-term consequences, and neither the surgeon nor resident ever mentioned possible long-term complications, and I didn’t think to ask. I had no experience with this kind of thing whatsoever; I am not a doctor, I don’t know any doctors, and no one I know has ever had abdominal surgery… I was so naive to trust these people, but I did. In fact, I trusted them so much that I was not terribly scared of the procedure I was about to undergo. Again, I chalk that up to the reduced mental capacity I was in, given a tough overnight stay in the ER. I remember the adrenaline rush as I was wheeled down to the operating room. I was singing one of my favorite songs in my head, hyping myself up for the procedure ahead of me. The last thing I remember was one of the OR nurses telling my mother not to worry, that the surgeon was “the best,” and that they had even operated on her husband.
I woke up high as a kite. I heard one of the nurses say I had been given fentanyl, which I remember freaked me out; I had forgotten it is more than a street drug and actually has legitimate uses. The procedure had gone fine, and I was discharged only a day or two later, with my only guidance upon discharge being not to lift heavy objects and “take it easy,” I was in some pain, but it was to be expected at that point and was well controlled by combining Tylenol and Advil. The surgeon called later that week to inform me that the pathology report had come back and that the lead point was simply “some swollen lymph nodes,” I was relieved to hear that it was not cancer. At my follow-up appointment two weeks later, I reported feeling pretty much fine. I had been granted medical leave and short-term disability from my job for six weeks following the surgery. This was the full length of time after which the surgeons expected I would recover fully. I used the time off to hang out with friends and my boyfriend and to focus on finishing what would have been my final semester of school. Those were the last few weeks that I felt somewhat normal despite what I had just gone through. I had no idea what was about to come.
About 5 weeks post-op is when I first began experiencing worse pain deep in my abdomen, right where I had the surgery, plus the pain in my upper right abdomen had not gone away. This new pain is crampy, yet sometimes stabbing, and had seemed to worsen with activity; I have experienced it every single day, nearly every hour, to varying degrees, since the beginning of February. That was also when I began regularly bloating and having difficulty going to the bathroom. No matter how hard I try to push, I can’t fully evacuate my bowels. (This is a nightmare for someone who has receptive anal sex like I used to do regularly. It is now impossible). With the emergence of all these symptoms, I felt very, very scared that there was something else wrong with me. And, of course, this all happened in the week when I was set to return to work. I have a physically demanding customer service job, and I was in so much pain that I found it impossible to be nice to the customers or even stand, so I left and, thankfully, was allowed to take the rest of the week off to figure things out. I obviously called my surgeon, but it also prompted me to do deeper research into the complications that can develop following abdominal surgery. I began pouring over medical journals, trying to figure out what was going on in my body on my own. That was when I first learned about “surgical adhesions.” These are fibrous bands of scar tissue that can develop due to the incisions made during surgery and handling of the bowel. As your body heals from the trauma of surgery, this scar tissue forms and can cause your intestine to stick to other organs or structures in your body. According to medical literature, they form in 90% of all patients who undergo abdominal surgery, but not all adhesions cause complications like what I’ve experienced. They are not easy to diagnose as they are impossible to visualize on any imaging tests, they do not go away on their own (it’s scar tissue), and the only treatment is surgically cutting them apart, which is risky, given that there’s a strong chance they will just grow back and possibly be even worse. This was obviously terrifying to me, but when I asked the surgeon about this, they said, “There’s very little chance that’s what’s happening,” given that the procedure was laparoscopic, not open. I scheduled another appointment with them, wherein they seemed quite dismissive of my concerns. They said the pain was likely “incisional” (it wasn’t and isn’t) but that they would order another CT scan so we could see what was going on. They also wrote me a script for gabapentin, an anticonvulsant meant to prevent seizures that is used off-label to treat pain and anxiety, with the qualifier that they would not write a script for anything stronger, basically implying that I was seeking narcotics, which was not at all the case, and which I found extremely offensive.
My next CT scan was scheduled about a month following that appointment in early March. In the interim, I began taking the gabapentin. I used more than I was prescribed because it was the only way I was able to control the pain and allow myself to feel comfortable at work. I didn’t anticipate the changes it would cause to my mood and behavior. In addition to feeling depressed and scared, I was also becoming easily emotionally dysregulated in ways I believe I would have been able to control prior to taking the medication. But when I didn’t take it, I was in pretty bad pain almost all the time, and I didn’t understand why at that point. My boyfriend noticed these changes in my mood and decided he needed space from me to protect his emotional wellbeing. I didn’t blame him then, and I still don’t, but I miss him terribly. We were supposed to remain “friends,” and he at least pretended he wanted that for a bit of time. At that point, I became determined to ween myself off the gabapentin and continue to work on improving my mental and physical health, for myself, but also for him; as I said, I really loved him. Later that week, after we split, I had my CT scan, and the surgeon called to tell me that it looked like I was just constipated. They advised me to take Miralax daily to ease that constipation, which should hopefully make me feel better. To me, this seemed like a huge relief. I started taking the Miralax, and at that point, I started exercising and lifting weights again. I also started trying to bulk up again, which had been an important part of my fitness journey prior to the surgery.
So April rolls around, and I am still trying my best to resume my normal life, which felt possible again at that point. I did end up successfully weening myself off gabapentin. With this newfound reinvigoration, I attempted to get my boyfriend back. We would make plans, but then he would reschedule again and again. Eventually, he kept our plans, and we met up for a talk in the park. We obviously had a lot to talk about in our relationship, at which point he told me that he simply was not attracted to me anymore. This was devastating news, as that was the first time I realized it was really over. Before I had thought that if I could show him how much I was trying to get back to the place I was before the surgery, he would stick around, but that was the moment I realized it was impossible for him to see me in the light he once did. Nevertheless, I tried to push on, kept going to the gym, and kept trying to get my life back. I was still seeing my friends regularly, and I was able to push myself to get through work, even though it was painful and hard. Plus, I was still working on my degree despite not feeling able to give it my best effort and focus with everything going on. I was still motivated to keep going, and I thought things might improve from there.
Well, lo and behold, they did not. One day in early April, I was sitting on the couch, sort of mindlessly snacking on some almonds before I was set to go have drinks with friends and see a concert. Immediately afterward, I felt that pain again in my abdomen. Despite that, I was really excited to see my friends and see the show. We met at a bar, where I had three cocktails before we made our way to the venue. I drank one or two more while the opener played. But by the time the headliner came on, I ended up in so much pain that I told my friends quite regrettably that I had to leave. I walked home and ate a small snack, wrongfully thinking it might make me feel better, before popping a melatonin and heading to bed. I woke up around 2 AM in the most intense pain I have experienced both before and after the surgery. I was extremely bloated and unable to pass gas or move my bowels. I had read somewhere that this was a sign of bowel obstruction and that I needed to seek medical attention. I made the decision to go to the ER. I walked down the stairs to leave, and as I did, I felt myself begin to vomit. Thankfully I was able to make it to the sink as I puked up what I imagine was that snack I’d had before bed. Shortly after, I arrived at the ER, this time choosing a different facility from the one where the surgeon had dismissed all of my post-surgical concerns. I was quickly admitted and given another CT scan. They confirmed my bowel was obstructed and told me they would place a tube into my nose down to my stomach to try to pump some of the blockage out. I asked the ER doctor if I was going to need to have surgery, to which he replied, “It’s a strong possibility.” This was horrifying to me. Getting the tube inserted into my nose was so painful, and I was screaming in agony the entire time. Then they gave me morphine, and I passed out. The details and timeline of that hospital stay are somewhat hazy in my mind, but I ended up being there for four days, over which I was given a “gastro graph challenge” test, wherein I was instructed to drink a contrast element which would be visualized by a series of Xrays so the doctors could monitor if anything was passing through my intestines. I met with another surgeon, whom I found to be much more attentive than my prior one, or at least simply possessing superior active listening skills. In fact, I felt that all of the staff at this second hospital were a lot more sensitive to my needs than the first. I really wish I had gone there the first time, as it’s the best hospital in the city. Add that to my long list of mistakes… Anyway.
Despite her more positive demeanor, she recommended another emergency surgery, this time a laparotomy (open) surgery to resect my bowel a second time. Her hypothesis was that the anastomosis (the medical term for the connection formed between my bowel loops during the first surgery) could be too narrow to allow food to pass through properly. I asked this new surgeon if it was possible I had adhesions causing this problem, and unlike the last one, she said, “It’s possible,” especially given that these symptoms began emerging a few weeks after the first surgery. But, like I said, they don’t really know what’s going on until they cut you open and go in there. Given that I am now much more aware of the risks of surgery and the risks of having a second procedure, I was fervently against going under the knife again. I simply couldn’t handle it. So I opted for conservative management, which meant waiting it out, taking an enema, and eventually getting back on a liquid and then solid diet. Thankfully, sitting in the hospital being NPO (Latin for nil per os - “nothing by mouth”) and taking the gastro graph made it pass eventually, and I didn’t have to have a second surgery. I was discharged from the hospital with instructions to schedule another diagnostic test called a “small bowel series,” in which they use xrays to track the amount of time it takes liquid to pass through your digestive system and to start a “low residue” diet- meaning eating very little fiber. Suddenly gone from my diet are all of the fruits and vegetables I once loved, and I can’t eat nuts or seeds (It seems to me that those almonds caused the obstruction in the first place). Basically, I’m now forced to exist on a diet of the most processed foods imaginable because although they are demonstrably unhealthy, that is all that my body is now able to safely digest.
After leaving that second hospital stay, I proceeded to delve even further into research about not only long-term abdominal surgery complications such as adhesions but also the nature of adult intussusceptions in general. I once again started furiously googling, finding results from medical journals and personal accounts from Reddit. I came to the conclusion that intussusceptions in adults, while ostensibly serious, have a strong possibility of resolving on their own, especially when they present in the small bowel, in the absence of vomiting (I never vomited before going to the hospital in January), when there is no obvious lead point (they couldn’t see it on my scans) and there is no obstruction (I was never obstructed before the surgery). Furthermore, while intussusception does present with blood in the stool, it is usually described as “currant jelly stool” (something I don’t recommend you google because it looks atrocious), which is not even close to the trace amounts of blood I saw in my own stool. (But no one ever asked, so how would I know the difference?) I never experienced any pain whatsoever in the area of my small bowel before the surgery. And yet I was told by a doctor that I was experiencing a medical emergency, which might have been caused by some malignant growth, which scared the shit out of me and made me feel at the time that immediate action was necessary. At one point, I even found a paper that attributed intussusception to cannabis use, which I had engaged in that week. In these papers, the authors highlight that these intussusceptions were transient and did not require surgical intervention. And on the point of adhesions, they are not easily diagnosed, and they are not easily treatable without surgical intervention; and said intervention is a cache 22 scenario because every time you get cut open, you risk growing back even more adhesions.
With all of this knowledge, I became absolutely distraught. I was never informed that by having this procedure performed, I would be at this increased risk of experiencing bowel obstruction. Like most people, I literally had no idea what an “adhesion” even was. What made me lose hope the most was that it seems as if doctors do these surgeries and simply ignore adhesion as a consequence because they don’t have any feasible way to prevent it or treat it without potentially creating more adhesion. So, although I was released from the hospital having avoided a second surgery, I felt more lost and hopeless than ever. I simply couldn’t cope with the realization that this would be something I would deal with for the rest of my life, something I could’ve avoided had I never agreed to get the first surgery because although I had that original pain I mentioned earlier- which has still continued to this day, it wasn’t and isn’t anything close to how excruciating the obstruction was, and it wasn’t really disrupting my life in the way the post-surgical pain has. But under the guidance of doctors, I opted to permanently alter my body, and there’s no going back. I feel so incredibly stupid for being deceived by these “medical professionals” who didn’t take the time to understand what was actually going on with me and chose to take an overly aggressive course of action that has left me permanently altered, in pain, and completely diminished my quality of life.
That week after leaving the hospital was truly the most suicidal I have ever felt. As I mentioned, I’ve dealt with suicidal ideation on and off since my adolescence. I’ve always had latent thoughts about wanting to die, wanting to escape, feeling like I’m hopeless and there’s no use trying to better myself. But this time, the desire to end my life was so much more intense. I became extremely disassociated from everything in life. In that week following my second hospitalization, there was absolutely nothing that could bring me joy. Before the surgery, I used to find deep pleasure in simply walking around my neighborhood for at least an hour every day. But I couldn’t do it anymore because walking gives me time to think, and thinking is too painful. It always leads back to the realization of the way I am now. Nothing could make me smile or laugh. I couldn’t even listen to music, one of my favorite things in the world. I became completely devoid of all emotions as my research transitioned away from my various new ailments and into ways I could end my life.
The rest of April and May passed by in a blur. Over that time, I’ve had two more appointments with the surgeons I met at the second hospital, a small bowel study (a more in-depth series of x-rays tracking the transit time of liquid through the GI tract), and a colonoscopy and endoscopy. Those have not yielded any significant findings as to what is going on, making me believe even more that all of these problems are being caused by adhesions. However, the small bowel study did reveal that my stomach is slightly herniated, which I believe is the cause of the original pain that I sought care for in the first place. At my last appointment, I was told to see a “small bowel specialist” GI doctor. But that was three weeks ago, and I haven’t even been able to get an appointment with them. I’m on a waiting list, but I imagine I’m looking at many months before I can get an appointment. I don’t know what they’re going to do for me. I don’t know that there’s anything that can be done besides more surgery, and I am very fearful about that. I fear the only way that these fucking doctors who fucked me up in the first place are going to even try to help me is if I’m obstructed again. But the changes to my diet, as much as I hate them, have kept me in a more manageable amount of pain and out of the hospital for now.
It is now June, and I am shocked that I am still here and confused about what to do now. Despite the diet, I still feel pain and discomfort at some point in the day, every single day. I think about wanting this all to end all of the time. I have not attempted again, though I did pick up another nitrogen tank, and I’ve also stockpiled a 90 day supply of my antidepressant, so at least I have the option. I am drinking two bottles of wine or half a bottle of vodka nearly every night. Alcohol is the only thing that seems to quiet my thoughts enough to get through each evening. I am sitting here in a cycle where I think about doing it, but I still feel obligated to go to work, to see my friends, and to feed my cat. My life has continued, but I don’t feel like I’m living anymore; I merely exist. I feel extremely unattractive because although I look the same as I did on the outside, I’m overcome with never ending emotional pain and turmoil on the inside. I am now unable to take care of myself and be on top of my life the way I used to be. After the second hospitalization, I dropped out of school and have no plans to continue, as I won’t need a bachelor’s degree when I’m dead. I have stopped exercising altogether, as it feels like there’s no point in trying to improve or take care of a body that has been permanently broken. Through all of this, I’ve lost much of my confidence and I feel I have completely lost my identity. I miss that old me so much. I miss my boyfriend so much. Plans with my friends are sometimes the only thing that keeps me going, and I am extremely grateful for them, but despite their continued presence, I feel extremely isolated and lonely. It’s hard to explain what I’ve been through to people without the context of all that has happened. I don’t have the energy to share it with them. And I feel if I speak about what I’m going through, I will feel like a burden, killing the vibe, and I don’t want that.
I have never felt this alienated from my body and from everything in life. I cannot cope with the fact that things will never be how they were before. I feel so incredibly distraught that I threw away what was shaping up to be the best days of my life. There’s nothing I or anyone else can do to change what has happened to me. It took me such a long time to get to the place I was in before the surgery. It was a brief and beautiful couple of months, but it’s over, and there’s no way for me to return. Even if there was, I don’t have that much of a fight left in me. I feel like such a fucking idiot for allowing the doctors to do this to me. I look around at all the happy people around me and know that I am dragging them down with my depression. I am tired of feeling helpless and like a burden on everyone I love. I am a shell of the person I once was. Ending it all is the singular thing that’s in my control. It is the only way to end all of this pain and suffering and stop the concern and confusion of my loved ones. I know that my exit will be painful to them, but they will all get over it in time. But me? I don’t think I will ever get over this. I will never be able to accept this horrible choice that I made. I am so tired of living this way. I am supposed to turn 27 soon, but I really don’t want to live to see my birthday. I have nothing to celebrate. My life is completely, irreversibly fucked. I don’t know when I will go, but it will be sooner rather than later. I am so sorry to everyone. I know this will hurt. I just can’t go on living this way. To all the people I care about, know that I love you, and I am so thankful you were part of my life. I know you will all go on to do great things without me. This entire saga has been unbearable; my life has spun out of control, and suicide is the only way to end my suffering. I’m sorry. I’m signing off.
TL;DR: Doctors performed a surgery I now think was unnecessary and the complications make me want to kill myself.

My boyfriend 21M and I 19F have been together about 11 months. Our relationship is great, except that I know his parents don’t like me. He still lives with his parents, Dad M45 and STEP mom F38 who are both teachers. My boyfriend and I live about 35 minutes away from each other. I have only been to my boyfriend’s house a handful of times, and he is at my house at least once a week. The first time I met my boyfriend’s parents everything was fine. It was a normal meeting, we all chatted- nothing weird or bad at all. That was literally the last time I’ve ever talked to his step mom though. His dad has talked to me a little bit the second time I went over there, but the conversation lasted like 5 minutes. That last few months I went over there they have said nothing to me, not even acknowledging I was there. There are a few things that may be the reason his parents dont like me. My boyfriend stays the night at my house a few times a month. His parents do not like that he stays over, they have expressed this to him a few times. That hasn’t stopped him though. His parents are very religious and have very, what I would consider “old fashioned” views. He has an older brother who has a girlfriend as well. We all started dating around the same time. And I met his parents first. From what I can tell they have a better relationship, so I know that it is me they don’t like. My boyfriend recently told me that during Christmas he heard his parents referring to me as “that girl” when he wasn’t in the room. He also told me that his dad had the “use protection” talk with him but chose to include a story about his uncle got trapped into marrying a girl because she intentionally stopped taking her birth control without telling him, alluding that I may do that to him. It makes me very uncomfortable that his dad would talk about a then 18 year old girl like that. Especially since kids is the furthest thing in my mind rn. I’m just trying to get through college. It’s hard to swallow that people have been talking abt me this way. Especially when they don’t know me at all. And I really don’t think I’ve done anything other than being nice and cordial. My boyfriend has said something to his parents, and his dad said that he feels like I do not like them. I will say that I have been holding a grudge because I genuinely have been trying my best to be nice to them. I will say that over the months my boyfriend has told me about some of the things his parents do and how they treat him. I’m very protective over him, and it may have given me a bad opinion of them a bit- but I have never and would never express that to them. Either way this whole situation has put my boyfriend in the middle, which is something I don’t want to do to him. He’s had enough family drama growing up. He wants me to let go of my grudge and try and start over. I’m having a hard time agreeing to that. I don’t think I’ll ever see them as genuine anymore. If they do try, it’ll only be because my bf called them out on their behavior. So I just want to know, am I the asshole for not wanting to let go of my grudge and hurt feeling, and try again with my boyfriend’s parents? My bf has a great relationship with my parents, they treat him great. Is it naive to think that we need more than that?

I (17F) haven’t talked to my father or my stepmother since I moved out of their house last year due to years of non stop conflict between us. The main source of conflict was that they did not like that they couldn’t control every aspect of me. I suppose it all started when I figured out that I am not straight. I came out at school first to test the waters and see how people would react, it all went well and gave me the courage to think about telling my parents. But this information somehow made its way to my parents before I could even think of telling them. My dad said he “didn’t support the lifestyle” and my stepmom said that it was disappointing to her because she “always wondered what man I would marry”. They didn’t really interact with me for a couple days after that and in the years that followed anytime I remotely spoke about liking girls I was accused of “shoving it down their throats”. Then there was a whole disagreement I had with them when I told them I didn’t believe in god, they lost their minds when I started showing interest in paganism, they never let me dress the way I wanted, and legitimately told me I wasn’t allowed to be around my friends of many years and to just “find new ones”. I have also severely struggled with mental health issues, from seventh grade to freshman year of high school I was in and out of mental hospitals for self harm and or suicide attempts. My step mother accused me multiple times of using my mental health struggles to manipulate people, and told me that I was the reason no one wanted to come home and that I was ruining their family. I spent years in their house being absolutely miserable, and my parents had threatened to kick me out many times over the years. Due to what I now know to be them manipulating me I didn’t think moving to my mother’s house was an option. But after one particularly bad fight I decided that I couldn’t take it anymore, so I moved to my mom’s house that weekend. I haven’t seen or talked to either my dad or my stepmom in over a year and my mental health is better than ever. Their periodic attempts to reach out to me have been pretty pathetic and made it clear that they just view a relationship with me as something they can take instead of something I give, and they are clearly loosing their minds now that they have less power over me than before. But a couple months ago my step mother emailed my therapist saying that my father is being deployed in August. Knowing her this is a manipulation tactic meant to scare me into talking with him again, and I don’t feel that this is a compelling reason to talk with him again. AITAH? TLDR: My father and stepmother were awful to me, causing me to move out of their house and cut off all contact. My dad is being deployed and I still refuse to talk to him. AITAH?

I’m on day 40 on my cycle and haven’t gotten my period or my usual PMS symptoms like breast pain. I might not have my period for a while longer I expect.
I was diagnosed with a microadenoma after an MRI on January of this year. I was ordered an MRI after a 11/2023 Prolactin test showed 37.3 ng/mL. A test in 02/2024 showed 28.6 ng/mL and in 03/2024 it was barely normal at 23.4 ng/mL. I got tests done for hormones/thyroid and everything was normal. Even my period cycle was 30 days from Feb-March.
I message my endocrinologist and she recommended I get on BC pills. I would prefer not to take birth control to get regular cycles so I wanted to ask if any of you have other recommendations. Or if BC is the best route, which BC has the least side effects.
I was on BC pills for around 4 years or more but stopped in 2021. I believe BC was partially causing me headaches and caused me to have thick ankles/ cankles. I had irregular periods before BC pills and now after.

I was a damaged person. But I was on the mend.
I had a pretty traumatic break up with my childhood best friend, turned girlfriend. I had known her since we were 8 years old. We had been boyfriend and girlfriend since we were 13 and had been so for 9 years until my junior year of college when she cheated on me in a very cruel way. It came to light that she had cheated on me many times before as well.
I loved her so god damn much! I thought we were one of those stories where two souls were knitted together from eternity to eternity, or some hallmark card bullshit like that.
I was emotionally shattered and it took me a while until one day about 2 years later, I woke up and thought about her, but then realized that I hadn't thought about her at all the previous day. It was glorious and I knew then that I was on the mend. After that, my healing process sort of exponentially snowballed and I was back in the saddle as far as relationships went. I started going on dates and meeting up with women.
I was a software engineer working for a large corporation. Because I was good at my job, and because I didn't have a family, I was given the opportunity to move to Singapore and lead a project there for what would be a couple of years but turned out to be 7 years.
The great thing about Singapore is that they speak the "King's English" when they're not speaking "Singlish" (a patois of mostly English with funky grammar, but with Malay, Chinese, and Hindi thrown in). So I didn't have to learn a whole new language to fit in. I just had to learn how to translate Singlish to English, which wasn't too hard after a couple of months of trying. I even learned the lingo and it would amuse my coworkers a whole lot when I spoke Singlish. They thought it was hilarious.
I was a good looking guy (still am!!) but I really let myself go in my depression. I was a tall, muscular 210 pounds when I broke up with my ex, but I had ballooned up to over 300 pounds. I started a workout regimen and lost it all but the workout regimen became sort of an obsession. It was the one thing that grounded me. After I went to Singapore, one of my business perks was a gym membership at "Fitness First", a local gym franchise. I was down to my previous weight, but I had to practically camp out at the gym because the best thing about Singapore is the FOOD. The food is incredible! However, you WILL pack on the weight if you don't get your ass to the gym.
The meet cute
I was working out one day much later than normal due to some overtime on my project and I saw a girl on a treadmill. The treadmill was the one I usually use because it was in the back and kind of out of the way. The girl was stunning! The thing that stuck out to me was that she was had her hair in a pony tail through a ball cap, which is a look I find very attractive. I was a little nervous because, even though I was fairly confident about the way I look, I was definitely batting out of my league with this girl.
I went to her and chatted her up after she got off of the treadmill. She didn't look me in the eye and didn't really engage. I figured that I had acted like what is now known as a "gym creep" and I figured it was a "swing and a miss!" I apologized and said I wouldn't bother her anymore. I stuck out my hand and said "I'm OP, by the way. What's your name?"
She hesitated and looked at me for a bit and said "Lilly" (not her real name).
I remember this exactly because she later said that it was what intrigued her about me. At the time, she was an actress/model who had done some print/public billboard type ads, product demo booths at expos, and even a bit part in a local tv (Mediacorp) series. She had started to attract public attention because of these (mainly the TV show and the ads that were hanging all around town at that time) not just from men but from women too and it was super uncomfortable for her.
The fact that I had no idea who she was relaxed her and made her think that I was attracted to her for her and not because her face was everywhere at the time. After she told me about it, I did notice her face everywhere. But photoshop was a thing even back then, so I didn't recognize her from her ads and I really don't look at ads, tuning them out. I also didn't watch her TV show because it was in Mandarin Chinese and I don't speak or understand any Chinese, and I wasn't in a position where I was required to attend or arrange trade shows.
In the years prior to meeting me, Lilly had undergone a lot of plastic surgery (breast, eyelid, facial contouring, nose job, lipo, etc). She said it got to where she didn't recognize herself in the mirror and it disturbed and depressed her. She hadn't particularly wanted the surgery but she got the procedures done at the behest of her family who wanted her to bring in more money and the people in charge of her career development (don't know the term). It was all very expensive and she felt like she owed her family and the talent people who managed her.
Later, I found out that she hated the public recognition. Not just from men, but mostly from women who were really catty about her plastic surgery. The people in charge of her were pushing her to start singing but she didn't have a good voice and would need a bunch of training for that. She was depressed due to not recognizing herself in the mirror any more and didn't want to follow the career track that she had been on. They were pushing her to do more figure/body modeling which was why she was in the gym. She was SUPER uncomfortable with that and constantly hungry and pissed off.
She was afraid that she would do some more modeling and then get married off by her parents to some rich mainland Chinese man that she would be ambivalent about (she preferred Caucasian men) and she'd be forced to be a traditional pampered Chinese wife living in Beijing.(Doesn't sound that bad to me. Some of those Chinese businessmen live crazy luxurious lifestyles.
Since I was working a lot of overtime, I kept going to the gym later at night and we saw each other and I would wave and smile and she would smile and wave back. OK I was kinda hoping to meet her regularly. I spotted her on a couple of exercises and we began to chat with each other a bit. A couple of times I had to steady her because she was fainting from being hungry and working out at the same time. I used that as an excuse to take her out to a hawker center, which like a mall food court but with delicious local food (not chain restaurants). We chatted and got along really well. It became a regular thing until I confessed I had a crush on her. We started dating after that until it got to a point where she practically moved into my place.
She, of course, had her share of guys interested in her. She was on livejournal at the time (remember livejournal??) and she was doing that and posting pictures of herself for her career mostly, but I'm sure she did enjoy the attention. She had one guy from Belgium who was really after her. He actually bought her 800 thread count sheets, which is an oddly practical but vaguely inappropriate gift. He actually visited Singapore on business (he was a tech sales guy) and wanted to meet up with her in a public place, a hawker center. I still had trust issues from my previous "love of my life" betraying me. To this day, I cringe at my behavior at the time, but I laid down a clear boundary. She could absolutely go see and hang out with this guy if she wanted to, but if she did, she'd be doing it as a single available girl and we would be through. She said she saw my face "turn to stone" and it was clear that she would lose me if she went to meet up with that guy. That honestly gave her pause about our relationship and she really considered ending it at the time. I didn't know that until much later, though. Certainly, I'm glad that she didn't. She didn't go meet up with the guy. To this day, we call the incident "The Belgian Waffle". OK so I call it that, she thinks it's stupid.
Meeting her family
Eventually, Lilly asked if I could have dinner with her parents, saying that they wanted to meet me. I bought some gifts, basically Japanese cookies in really nice packaging, and then we met. I did the traditional thing and formally introduced myself and asked them about their family and history.
At the time, Lilly got some criticism from her extended family because I am a white guy. There was a certain stigma attached to local girls who liked white guys. They called those girls "SPGs" which stands for "Sarong Party Girls", a derogatory name for the prostitutes who would entertain British expats at after hours parties "back in the day".
Over the next few months, I won over her family mainly by eating their food and being accepting of their culture. I grew up in Texas, so pickled jalapenos were common in my house...like salt and pepper, we put them on everything. Later on, I was the kind of guy who put tabasco or sriracha on everything. So eating their spicy food was no problem for me. I remember us both going shopping at an open air market and seeing an older woman cutting up cili padi. I asked if I could try some. She looked at my pale face and then at Lilly and she said I could. I bit into one and chewed it up as the woman looked at me with an amused look on her face. She was waiting for me to jump up and down with fire shooting out of my mouth, I guess. I disappointed her, but she and Lilly were impressed. She later told her mother and she was impressed too. She wanted me to eat one for her as well. Oh well, trained monkey time I guess.
The real test came when I tried Durian for the first time. This is the same food that "defeated" Andrew Zimmern, the "Bizarre Foods" guy. I actually liked it. I had a D24 durian, which admittedly is like the "beginner version" of durians. There are like 16 different types. When you get past the smell and actually taste it, it doesn't smell that bad any more. It's very sweet and creamy. It's like the taste overwrites your disgust of the smell. I think that's what really impressed them to an extreme degree. They started calling me an "egg", because I was "white on the outside but yellow on the inside."
I would visit her grandmother with her. In true Chinese fashion, Lilly and her brother Johnny were raised by their paternal grandparents while their parents worked full time jobs, so her grandmother was like her mom. She was in an elder care facility at this point, though. She didn't like living there, but it was all they could afford. We would visit her every week and she'd be very happy. She didn't speak any English at all so she and Lilly would just chat speaking Hokkien Chinese while her grandmother would pet my hairy forearms like I was a dog. She was absolutely smitten with my hairy forearms.
Meeting my family
After a little over a year, I took her back to Texas to meet my family. It was quite the culture shock. Lilly was amazed by red barns and hay bales, black and white Holstein cows, things she saw in movies about the USA. She particularly was impressed by the cluster mailboxes lined up on country roads ("So cute, leh!") We actually had to stop the car and take pictures of her standing next to them, smiling goofily for the photo. I made sure to take her to the Texas hill country during spring, when the hills are covered with soft green grass and festooned with bluebonnets, sunflowers, indian paintbrushes, black eyed susans, daisies, etc. I had to practically hold her down to keep her from picking them. It's not illegal or anything, it's just frowned upon and tradition to leave them alone. OK, I let her pick some. Give me a break, I was in love with the girl.
Driving was also something that kind of boggled her mind. Texas is huge, and traveling from my parents' place to visit my brothers and their families was a seemingly endless trek. Driving from Houston to Austin, to Corpus Christi was crazy long, even with the stops to visit my relatives.
Lilly was practically agoraphobic at the big sky in Texas. She was used to being in a forest of tall concrete and steel buildings, with only strips of blue sky available at the top. In Texas that sky went from horizon to horizon. She was also amazed at the uncountable numbers of stars at night away from the city lights. She later told me it was like visiting Narnia or something.
In Texas, she got her share of looks from guys, especially in the bigger cities. I wasn't jealous. I've never been a jealous guy, although my experience with my ex "love of my life" really put my radar up, I still was proud that other guys were attracted to her. My attitude was "go ahead and eat your hearts out, she's with me!"
When she met my oldest brother, it was like a cultural thing with her, so she was very deferential and respectful. I knew that my oldest brother was attracted to her because he was stumbling and stuttering when he was speaking to her, looking at her but kind of avoiding looking at her. I wasn't too concerned because he was a married guy with 2 sons and not a scumbag, but it was still pretty amusing to see "Mr. Smooth-don't-let-em-know-you-want-em-kid" at a loss for words.
My parents met Lilly finally (she was super nervous but she did really well) and later my mom brought me aside and asked me if she should re-set her mother's diamond engagement ring. I thought about it a bit, and then told her "yes". My mom's eyes started sparkling with images of unborn grandchildren and she smiled bigger than I had ever seen her smile (kind of unsettling actually). My dad later brought me aside and basically told me I couldn't do any better and I would be a "god damn fool" if I let her get away from me. I agreed. My dad then told me something that remains with me to this day: "She will make your life sparkle, son." (she has).
Before our time in the US was up my mom gave me the ring and I asked Lilly to be my wife in a field of wildflowers, which had become her favorite place to be in Texas. She said yes. Looking back, that was one of the happiest days of my life. It was up there with losing my virginity to "the love of my life" (who turned out to be a duplicitous crazy person but at the time it was really special), my wedding day to Lilly, and the births of our children.
The Engagement
When we got back to Singapore we had to pretend we weren't engaged because I had to ask her parents for their daughter's hand in marriage. I spoke with them and explained how my prospects in my career were good. I told them that I loved their daughter and that my family also loved their daughter. We had to schedule a phone call between my parents and her parents.
I had clued my parents in as far as the traditions go. In Chinese culture, the groom pays for the wedding rather than the bride. The groom also has to give the bride's parents certain auspicious gifts. My parents luckily had done a tour of China a few years before and knew all of this beforehand, having befriended their local tour guide who was saving up money for his own wedding at the time. On the call, they agreed upon a pinjin, which is basically "betrothal money". We started to plan the Guo Da Li ceremony which would take place in 3 months time, and 3 months before the wedding.
Unfortunately life threw us a curve ball and Lilly's grandmother died. It was bittersweet because, while Lilly missed her, her grandmother had become very old and infirm to the point where her quality of life was pretty low. All wedding stuff was put on hiatus until the funeral was over plus 100 days for mourning.
After that, we were able to do the Guo Da Li ceremony. I gave my future in laws a red packet of money plus special cakes and 12 mandarin oranges and gold jewelry. It all went very well.
Wedding planning started in earnest. I got some money from my dad (who insisted) but the lion's share was out of my pocket. During this process I was able to meet some incredible people. The stand outs were Richard and Jimmy. Rich and Jimmy were tailors and dressmakers. They were a couple and they gave my fiancée a really good deal on a wedding dress and cocktail dress if she agreed to do some print modeling for their business. They also made me a tuxedo and a suit. I offered to model for them as well and we all had a good laugh at that prospect (OK they were doing most of the laughing - ego still hurts from that one, guys).
The venue we were using was Chijmes. It's the same one used in the move "Crazy Rich Asians". It was back when they had first started offering it up as a venue so it wasn't crazy expensive at the time. Plus, it was a smaller venue for weddings. Usually weddings are held in large hotel ballrooms and are huge affairs (this is what I was told). The families both invite everyone they've ever met to come: Neighbors, business contacts, everyone. They all bring red packets filled with cash. We opted for the "small" wedding.
The Bachelor Party
We had planned bachelobachelorette parties on the same night (separate venues). Lilly's MOH threw hers while Rich and Jimmy threw mine. My best man was my dad (because he's the best man that I know) and so cigars and brandy would have been disappointing to my work friends and my future brother in law and cousins. I don't think anyone was prepared for what happened.
We had the party at the sushi restaurant of a friend of Rich and Jimmy's. It was after hours. We had some incredible sashimi and rolls. I even tried fish sperm. Didn't like it. I asked Jimmy are you sure it's FISH, sperm?? He said of course he'd never do that to me. To be fair, it did taste and smell very fishy. I don't know how human sperm tastes like (or maybe I do now, I don't know).
After the sushi was done, it was time for the entertainment, and oh boy. Rich and Jimmy hired a trans entertainer who sang show tunes. The thing is, she had an incredible voice. She was obviously biologically male, but she really carried herself with a lot more femininity than I've seen from biological women. She sang and told jokes and roasted me pretty thoroughly. My dad was there and he thought it was funny as hell. My friends from work, especially the Aussies and Brits, thought it was great, my future BIL and most of my future cousins did too. Other cousins politely excused themselves and left. I think the free flowing booze and beer kept most people there, though.
After her thoroughly entertaining performance, it was time for the dancers. This is kind of where it went off the rails. Rich and Jimmy hired exotic dancers...but they were all male or trans. Now, to be fair, it wasn't like they didn't tell me about it beforehand. They did. Personally, I thought it would be hilarious to announce that the strippers were here and then have male dancers come out. I have a twisted sense of humor, I suppose. I certainly wasn't going to cheat on the most beautiful woman in the world mere weeks before our wedding, so prostitutes and female dancers were completely out of the question for me. They jokingly suggested male dancers it and we laughed. I thought about it a bit and I guess I'm "take-the-joke-too-far" guy so I encouraged it. Lilly knew about it and thought it was funny as well and wanted me to video tape it while it happened. ("Yeah right you just want to ogle the dancers" "Of course, lah!")
What I wasn't prepared for was the PLATOON of banana hammocks that marched out into the restaurant. Smooth greased up Asian chests everywhere! My dad was of course shocked at first and then looked at me and we started laughing and the ridiculousness of it. My dad stood up and clapped his hand on my shoulder and put a mock serious look on his face. The people immediately around me witnessed my dad telling me that he loved me and accepted my life style choice and that nothing I could say or do would ever change the fact that he and mom loved me and accepted me. Thanks, dad. I was laughing during the whole thing and my future BIL and work buddies who were around me were laughing as well. My dad excused himself and said he had to go find my mom and tell her the "bad news about her future grandchildren" and left ("Can adopt, lah! Can surrogate, meh!" Thanks for the support, guys). My future BIL laughed and said that since all of the available male dancers were at my party, there were none available to attend his sister's party, so she was "safe".
Among the highlights of the evening is that I discovered that a few of my co-workers and future cousins were in fact gay. I was told to stay out of the ladies' room no matter what. I wasn't planning on going in but thanks for the warning. I was proud that we all only vomited in the trash cans and not on the floor (what a waste of some damn good sushi....and fish sperm). Rich and Jimmy stayed next to each other all night. I even saw them holding hands and looking at each other lovingly. To my shame, I was under the common misconception that all gay men were very promiscuous and I kind of expected them to pair off with the dancers. What I saw that night was a very loving monogamous relationship.
The Wedding Day
The day of the wedding came a few days later and I had the good fortune of being the first one in my family to experience the fun and interesting experience of a groom going through a Chinese-style wedding. I say "Chinese-style" because while we did do a lot of the traditions from a Chinese wedding, we did say vows to God before a Christian minister. This was something she insisted on as her family had converted from Taoism to Christianity (but still kept the Taoist traditions and festivals).
First up was the gatecrash. I went over to the her family's apartment and the MOH and bridesmaids stood at the door refusing to let me in unless I gave them $9999.00. Nine is a significant symbol to them. It means "longevity" I think. So the whole idea is for me to haggle the price down by doing challenges and games. I had to do a handstand and walk with my hands. I had to answer trivia questions ("What is her nickname for you?" "Cranky old man" "What is your nickname for her?" "Baby"). BIL and I had to do "the worm". I haggled them down to $99 which I paid to them in a red packet. My BIL and wife chided me for not going lower but my dad was there and was in his 70s and couldn't do any feats of strength.
After I "secured" my bride, we did the traditional tea ceremony with her parents and my parents. Lilly was dressed in a traditional red silk qipao, tailor made by Rich and Jimmy. I gotta tell you people, the qipao really does it for me! Not gonna lie, it was like cupid gut punched me when I saw her dressed in it . My parents were pretty stoic throughout but my mom sympathy cried with Lilly's parents when she tearfully did the tea ceremony with her mother and father. We received red packets from each set of parents. I was told the red packet her parents gave us had most of the bride price we paid in it. Her mom gave her her grandmother's jeweled antique watch and my mom gave her a sapphire ring (sapphire is my birth stone). As we left her home to go to Chijmes, I told her "we're keeping that dress, understand me??" She laughed.
We got to Chijmes, did the photos and she walked down the aisle in a beautiful white dress with a small train behind it with sequins on it. My dad gave me the ring. He was my best man. He was my best man because he's the best man I know. After the wedding, she changed into a champagne colored strapless cocktail dress another Rich and Jimmy original. THREE wardrobe changes, people! THREE! All with different hair and make up and she did it super quick. I don't know what wizardry was invoked but we may be indebted to the hoary netherworld.
We honeymooned at the Fullerton Hotel. The old British colonial Post Office was converted to a luxury hotel in 2001. We stayed there for 3 days ordering overpriced room service ("Go to hawker center, lah! Much cheaper better food, meh!).
Emigration and Immigration
So a little bit before this time, a little event happened in New York. You might have heard about it. Anyway because some sexually repressed incels decided to murder thousands of people, USA's immigration was all jacked up. The INS went bye-bye. Then we had the BCIS for a brief moment, followed by the USCIS. I saw that my project was ending and my company helped me with her immigration. It was a pain, though. It seems like we had new forms to fill out every week while the old ones became obsolete. That's how I remember it, anyway. It was a pretty frustrating time and I almost had to leave her behind (it wouldn't have been permanent but it would be a long time). Luckily we were able to make it time.
For explanation purposes, we didn't get LEGALLY married in Singapore. We had the religious ceremony but no "government contracts" were involved. This is because, at that time at least, it was easier to bring over a fiancée than a wife, for some reason. So Lilly was a "90 Day Fiancée"!! We got married at the county courthouse when we finally were able to go to my new project. We didn't wait 90 days. We did in three (jet lag).
Unfortunately for her, we moved from Singapore, a 24 hour international class city, to a sleepy seaside town in the USA near a military base. Lots of fun was had with that. A total fish out of water story for another time (What is this "coin laundry"? Do you Americans have a place to wash your coins?).
My BIL got married to a beautiful girl and moved to Australia and opened a Bait and Tackle store in Surfer's Paradise on the east coast of Australia. He has 2 daughters. In 2012 he was caught cheating on his wife and lost everything. She moved back to Singapore with his kids, and he kind of struggled for a while. He got another bait and tackle store eventually and tries to see his daughters whenever he can. They don't have a good relationship.
Rich and Jimmy celebrated the decriminalization of homosexuality in Singapore in 2022, but they still can't get married. We still talk from time to time. Writing this, I find myself missing them. I had some really fun times because of them. I've never had better conversations in Singapore than with them while at Lilly's dress fittings (and my suit fittings).
We have been married for 21 years. She has never given up being a Singaporean citizen. She keeps her passport current. She's a "permanent resident" here in the USA. We have three kids, two boys and a girl. We are still married. She still wears her hair in a pony tail with a ball cap when she works out. She still wears that qipao on special occasions, which I try to achieve as often as possible. She's still my Baby and I'm still her Cranky Old Man.
Thanks for reading.

Throwaway for obvious reasons
I don’t know where to begin or where to end this story. I can’t discuss this with anyone I know because I feel like an asshole while also feeling justified at the same tome. This story will also sound made up, but it’s really not and I’m just hurting and want some place to type it all out too.
I (F36) have been with my husband (M39) for over a decade. Early on, I had to have a hysterectomy due to health complications and told him if he wanted kids, we should go our separate ways. He insisted he was strictly childfree and didn't want kids. In every other way, we were perfect for each other.
A few years into our marriage, we even had the chance to adopt a little girl from a family member’s unplanned pregnancy. I was thrilled, but he still didn't want kids, so she was adopted elsewhere. Not being a mom hurt, but I accepted it.
Sometime back, my husband started acting weird. You know how you just know when someone you love changes? He came home late, avoided sex, and was cold. He denied anything was wrong, but I could tell he was lying. Whenever I tried to talk to him about it, he’d tell me I’m being “psycho” and controlling.
So, I snooped through his phone and found evidence of a very long affair. I’m not proud of it, but I did it. I needed that peace of mind.
His mistress (F26 or 27?), whom he'd introduced to me as his cousin, was around less than 2 months pregnant. They were discussing marriage after he divorced me.
He admitted he didn’t want to divorce me yet because he would lose our house, which I funded entirely. He'd also been using our joint account, which I contribute significantly more to (I earn considerably more than him), to pay for her rent and hospital expenses.
When I confronted him, he admitted to the affair and her pregnancy. She came over, and things got heated. I tried to blame him, not her, but after a lot of tears and fighting, I lost control and told them that I hoped they lost the child. I'm not proud of it, but I said it.
He moved out of my house the next day, not sure where they live now.
A few weeks later, she had a miscarriage. They blame me and believe I caused it. She came to our house, slapped me, banged my head against the wall, and kicked me. I was not significantly injured. He didn't hurt me physically but he didn’t stop her either. Yes, I was foolish to let them in but I am in a weird mental state too and didn’t expect her to hit me. Maybe I deserved it. I may have felt the same if someone said something like that about my unborn child and lost it.
I I won’t file charges because it's not an option in my country, and maybe I deserved the beating for what I said. I just want to know if I'm the asshole and if yes, how big of an asshole I am.
Thanks.

hi! i made a post a few weeks ago about my situation but, to sum it up…my husband and i had a broken condom mishap on may 26th and finished in me. went and took a plan b the next afternoon and had no symptoms until saturday with some mild cramping all evening, and then sunday morning i woke up to heavy bleeding. definitely enough to fill a pad, but not enough to have to change it frequently. it had lightened up by tuesday and was basically gone by wednesday. i’ve had some sore breasts and back pain….but not my regular period symptoms like my acne breakouts and bloating.
my problem lies in the fact that i had my nexplanon removed on may 20th (just didn’t work for me, my body has not reacted well to any form of birth control)…so im not sure where i was in my cycle when the condom broke. my periods are usually pretty regularly starting around the first of the month. im not sure if the bleeding was my period, since it was a lot heavier than what i noticed on and off birth control. i know it can cause irregular periods, but the cramping was definitely not like period cramps at all. i can take a pregnancy test this upcoming sunday/monday since that’s been 2 weeks since our mishap.
not necessarily looking for direct answers, i guess i just wanna know if there’s any chance of pregnancy even after bleeding that heavy or if anyones been in this type of situation before! we’ve already fixed the broken condom problem so that way this doesn’t happen again :)

Part 1 — link Part 2 — link Part 3 — link Part 4 — link
The penultimate script! And the climax of the story. We'll conclude next time with the heartfelt dénouement. Only one editing phase left. I can't wait to be done with this series, haha.
Remember that this script has two speakers, the Heir and the Contact. The Contact will show up in the last script, but only briefly.
Feel free to record, monetize, and/or modify as long as you give credit.
And any sort of constructive critique or feedback is welcome!
Wordcount: 2000
Setting: The first half is spent with the listener laying in a ditch in the streets outside the summit. Then the Contact drags them to a nearby stable. Finally, the heir's public execution in an inappropriately well-appointed garden within the summit.
Summary: There you are, bleeding in a ditch. The heir is gone. Off on a fool's errand to save the King and Queen. The Republic has outplayed you all. But someone is getting closer. And they're cursing your name in a familiar voice. Maybe there is a chance to set things right. You did not come without contingencies.
(Listener's contact rushes from the summit through the streets, getting closer)
[Contact]
[Sarcastic] Sure. Just leave me behind. That's fine. Don't worry about your fellow agent or anything. The summit fucking implodes and you up and vanish. Fantastic timing. Just—
(Sees the listener) Oh shit!
(Rushes over) Hey. Hey! Can you hear me? Are you alive?
...
Heartbeat. You lucky bastard. Left bleeding in a gutter and you pull through. Eh. Mostly.
That's a lot of bloody bandages. I guess someone took pity on you. Didn't stick around though. Whoever it was, you owe them your miserable life. But I can't afford to be nice.
Come on, wake up! Don't pull this with me. I can see your eyes are open. I know you can hear me.
Rise and fucking shine!
...
Finally. Yep, yep, can we speed up the whole delirious act? We need to move. Soldiers are looking for us.
...
Uh, no. I don't know what happened to you. Mainly because you abandoned me. Remember that? But I'm generous: water, bridge, you get it. Want to repay me? Then get over your flesh wound, stand up, and get moving. It's just a scratch. If you can't handle that, I will bail on you.
...
An arrow? Fine. That would explain all the blood. But it doesn't matter. Last I checked you were a Dominion assassin. With that injury you could march ten miles through a blizzard. Barefoot. Try harder.
But this isn't about pain, is it? This is about morale. You're at rock bottom. Not to mention exhausted. But you had your little nap. Take your second wind and get on your feet.
Grab my hand. Up you go. There. Steady. I got your arm. Here, lean on my shoulder.
You should be thankful I came back for you.
...
Why?! I'm saving your life, and you ask why? Wow. Do you not trust me? Talk about ungrateful.
Didn't I tell you before? My job is to get us—both of us—out of here alive. 'Cause when shit like this happens, we can't survive on our own. We're a team, like it or not.
Come on, there's a stable up ahead. Saw a couple horses we can steal. Just one step at a time.
...
Those bandages, that wasn't you. Remember who it was? If someone knows where we are—
...
The royal heir?! You didn't kill them?!
...
You—ugh, no. You're right, it doesn't matter now. I didn't think the Republic could pull off a real coup. Nobody else did either, apparently. Doesn't make me feel less stupid.
There's some good news though. It's obvious we aren't to blame. When we get back home, our superiors probably won't have us killed. If we get home.
Wait... where's the heir then?
...
Ah... I get it. Found out our plan, huh? Considering the circumstances, you really are a lucky bastard. By all rights, you should have a lot more bloody holes. Looks like your unprofessional fondness for the target was returned.
Shame about the whole thing. The assassination plot, I mean. A job's a job. And aristocrats certainly don't deserve an exception. But this one was different. Your little royal might be the only noble I can believe is, you know, noble. 'Specially riding off to go die.
...
No, I didn't see anything. Don't think I need to. Soldiers have been searching for any loose nobles. But there aren't any around here. If I were putting down money, I'd say the Republic finished their collection.
...
I didn't say dead.
Actually, things calmed down after the initial attack. They're being all... "Republic-y" about the whole thing. Acting like they're doing the Kingdom a favor. I slipped away when their newly wed was blathering on and on about the "tragic necessity of their actions". Blegh.
All that to say, they got the King and Queen chained up. The execution won't be for a while. Not until they're good and ready. But they have the heir now. The Republic may be full of windbags, but this is an opportunity they won't waste. The royal family has about a day left to live.
(Arrive at a small stable with a couple horses)
Speaking of living, we're here. Our four-hoofed tickets to freedom.
Huh. Someone must have been in a hurry; they're saddled and ready. Doesn't bode well for their owner, but good for us. Let's go. I'll help you up.
...
Quit stalling. The Republic is still hunting us.
...
I'm sorry? Save who?
...
No! Absolutely fucking not! We are the ones who need to be saved. And we have our exit right here. You have no obligation to rescue the heir. Your job was the exact opposite. Did you forget?
...
I saved your life. You shouldn't throw it away over some bandages. Especially for someone who hates your guts now.
...
You know what? I gave you three chances. I'm not staying here to die. Listen to me. We don't need to make it all the way home. Our forces are stationed nearby. All we have to do is ride 'till we reach them and then—
—What?
...
Yes, Dominion troops are still in the area. You should know that. What does it matter?
...
The plan's already gone sideways. Calling them in won't do any good. Remember, they were supposed to be the backup coup in case the Kingdom figured out the plan. But the Republic struck first. I don't see how bloodshed helps us here.
...
Wait. Are you serious? You want our military to save the Kingdom.
This is... making a disturbing amount of sense. Let me talk through this.
I call in the cavalry to free the Kingdom from the Republic. That unifies Dominion and Kingdom against the Republic despite what our leaders think. The Dominion gets the war they want, and the Kingdom gets to make peace with one of their neighbors. And the powers will balance out...
Still sounds crazy. But it's better than the Republic controlling the Kingdom.
...
There's one problem: we can only ride so fast. If the royal family dies before we return, this will all be for nothing. Even worse, we'll have a war on two fronts.
...
You're staying? The blood on your chest is still wet. What are you going to do?
...
(Long sigh) Fine. Save the heir. I knew you were too sentimental for this job. We need you to go all-out. If this is what it takes, do it. Cut them to ribbons.
If I run this horse ragged, I'll be back before dawn. Hopefully, with a small army in tow. That's your timeline.
...
Good luck you lunatic. You better be alive when I get back, both of you. This better be love. If I did all just for you to die tragically, I swear I'll—
I'm going, I'm going!
Do your job this time!
(Contact rides off)
... ... ...
(The heir gives a speech to the Republic forces before their execution)
[Heir]
(Indignant) Very well. If my spouse says that these are my last words, I will heed the threat.
I know my voice will fall on deaf ears. A court of Republic sycophants and Kingdom traitors is hardly worthy to witness the death of a lineage. But they will serve their purpose. As will I. Willing or not.
But know this: the Kingdom will not bow to your tricks. My people will never surrender. Take the crown and they will rip it from your head. Take the throne and they will topple it. You may think you've won but rebellion will smolder under our ashes.
You posture yourselves as "liberators", yet you would kill me in front of my parents? Your cruelty betrays your fecklessness!
(The heir's spouse hits them)
...
(Deep breaths) What's the matter, my love? Was execution insufficient? You needed to strike me yourself. Are you so thin-skinned, even in triumph? I can't believe I married someone so pathetic.
...
Your words would sting if I had heart left to break. Let's finish this. I have nothing more to say to you all.
Mother, Father... I'm sorry.
...
You needn't be shy, executioner. My neck is there for the—
(The listener swoops in, subduing the heir's spouse and the executioner)
It... it's you. What are... Did you just stab my partner?
...
Not a complaint, just a question.
...
You didn't kill them, did you?
...
Good, a hostage will make this easier. However, we are surrounded by Republic soldiers. Did you have a scheme to survive the stalemate? An escape plan?
...
The Dominion?! I... that's right! The papers said a company of soldiers were stationed nearby. It slipped my mind. You called them to aid us?
...
How can I trust you? I will admit, you saved my life. But what's to say you aren't manipulating me again? I'm sick of being a pawn.
...
I see. The Republic hardly needs to be framed now. And coming to our aid will require your leaders to ally with us. That... I think that would work!
One moment.
(The heir addresses the crowd)
Agents of the Republic. The execution of my family will be indefinitely postponed. Before you seek to retaliate my... my guardian has my darling spouse at the point of a knife. Furthermore, you have fallen into our trap. The unified forces of the Kingdom and Dominion will soon arrive to liberate us.
I would advise you all to surrender now.
...
(Back to the listener)
What? It was only a slight exaggeration. A little fib to make this go more smoothly. See, they're cowering already. We've won. Now, keep your eye on the Republic's soon-to-be divorcée.
(Heir rushes over to their parents)
Mother, Father, are you alright? Please forgive me for returning. I know you'd prefer my escape, but I couldn't let you die. I was overwhelmed and felt like I had no one I could trust and—
...
Yes, I'm fine. Shaken, but fine. I am much better now that we are all safe. Thanks to my guardian here.
...
Correct, from the caravan. The one who escorted me home after my "escapade" in the capital.
...
F-fond of them?! I—ahem—I must have given the wrong impression if you recall them as "the one I'm fond of". We don't have time for teasing. We must secure ourselves for when the Dominion forces arrive.
...
How did I know? Oh... uh... well. It's a bit complicated.
(Deep breath) My guardian discovered a plot by the Dominion to kill me. It was to pit us against the Republic, but it turns out they did not need the help. The Dominion posted a reserve force nearby as a precautionary measure. Now they are being called to aid us instead. Is that sufficient?
...
Right, we'll speak afterwards. Please, take command. I'm quite spent. If you don't mind, I'll rest over here.
(The king and queen leave)
...
You have not yet assuaged all my fears of betrayal, still... thank you. I believe I treated you worse than I ought. But, to learn that you—above all others—betrayed me... and the idea of losing my parents... it was too much to bear.
...
Yes, above all others. You heard what the King and Queen said. There was a reason I was so open with you on the road. And why I lied to them about your plot.
My feelings are confused and stormy. But when all of this is over, I would speak with you. I may have shielded you for now, but there is much to discuss regarding the future of our three nations.
...
Good. Now... be honest. How unbecoming would it be if I kicked my traitorous spouse?
...
(Sigh) You are correct. Why must it be so hard to win with grace?
I will let justice take its course. Nothing left to do now but wait. Please, keep watch over me. I am too tired to sit patiently.

I 28F and my husband 28m just welcomed our baby boy into the world last week. But backtracking to Mother’s Day:
My husband got me two breastfeeding dresses. Neither were really my “style” but one was cute to wear around the house and the other I couldn’t wear. I have a condition where under my arms sweat a lot, and he got me a dress that is tight around my arms and light colored. He knows about this condition, I’ve tried surgery and expensive products but nothing works. It is something I have always been extremely self conscious about. At the time of receiving the dress, I thanked him but told him he would have to return it because of my sweating problem. He tried to argue it doesn’t matter, but it matters to me. I felt so embarrassed I started to cry because it was obviously upsetting him that I didn’t like it and he said “well that was fun” meaning the whole opening of the dresses for Mother’s Day. Mind you, I was nine months pregnant and really emotional so his reaction just hurt a little more and I tried to explain to him that it’s just embarrassing not being able to appreciate his gift because of my condition. He said he understood and would return it and pick out something else for me.
After this, we talked about having the baby and how I wanted sushi afterwards since I didn’t get any during pregnancy. We laughed about a “push present” and he said he would love to get me something. When the time came, he never got me anything as a gift. I was totally okay with this because a “push present” is such a trend and not really a necessary thing.
A few weeks have gone by and he never returned the dress. I reminded him a few times but he just didn’t do it, so I asked for the order number and did it myself. I asked if he would want to pick something else out for me and he said sure.
After we had the baby, I was looking at cute birth stone bracelets and birth flower jewelry that I was thinking about getting to have something with our baby’s birth month. My husband told me he was still planning on getting me a gift. It felt like he was just saying that because I was looking at jewelry for myself. It was an afterthought sort of comment, and if he was going to get me something he would have. I don’t mind getting jewelry for myself, especially since I’d rather do that than have to ask for it. But I just said okay and stopped looking for something for myself.
His Father’s Day gift came early, and he accidentally picked it up at the post office so he knows what it is. It’s a small black stone grill for our porch. He was so happy about it and really grateful. But now he is filling our Amazon cart with accessories for it and building a stand for it.
I guess I feel a little sad. It has nothing to do with actually receiving the gifts but rather just being thought about. I feel like an after thought. I still haven’t received anything to replace the dress from Mother’s Day and haven’t gotten a “push present”. I feel so silly being a little offended by it, but I can’t help it. We had a bit of a traumatic birth story with our son and I went through a lot. He mentions he is planning on getting me something after the fact, but I don’t think he really will. I’m not going to bring it up again because it’s like asking for a gift. It feels like he doesn’t think of me and just says what I want to hear at the time.
AITAH? It feels so superficial to be upset about gift giving, but when I see him spending so much time and money picking out supplies for his grill, it makes me sad about my Mother’s Day gift and promised “push present.” I don’t even want the gift, I just want to be appreciated and thought about.

Hi guys,
Thinking back, this is not my first Reddit post of a similar nature. I think all my life I’ve been addicted to things (weed, porn, “self help”, exercise). This is just one that’s been the most detrimental. I am a problem gambler and need help. I think I also need a place to just let it all out. Hopefully people will read and comment/resonate but I’m literally unable to concentrate at work because things are bad again. I apologize for it being long and you will all likely skip but if anyone reads, thank you.
I have a lot of trauma and am very lonely a lot of times. I had a bad experience being social and I think people pick up on my extreme awkwardness but they do not make me feel welcome, they come across judgy and I feel like I’m performing a dance begging for acceptance. So I spend even more time online (and have been like that since childhood) and don’t get much social interaction. This is relevant to how I got so sucked in so far.
Growing up, my parents were not only strict, but very strict about money. We were poor and they always told me to avoid debt but made it more about school debt (which I did avoid). They definitely talked about predatory credit card practices etc, but the one thing they did not ever instill in us was mitigating problem spending and gambling. Not just me but my mom and sister have really bad spending habits on food and unnecessary purchases…but I’m getting a bit ahead…
I didn’t get a credit card until a bit later, and didn’t have a job until about 2018-19 at 21. Even then, I barely used the CC and also barely drank. I hated gambling at a young age because I only know it as the casino in big cities with the excessive alcohol and lights and cigar smells I hated. Of course I was on my high horse at a younger age saying people were just “paying money to lose money and that made no sense”…My parents went to Vegas a lot, not weekly but every maybe 3-6 months because of comps. And us living close. I was mostly there just to watch my siblings and never went down to actually be in the casino. The vibes just always made me uncomfortable.
The one thing I did do was buy stocks. I remember briefly trying to understand the day trading stuff and I was so overwhelmed I just stuck to my traditional buying stocks and leaving them like a savings. Did good all the way until COVID, everything was down and I had to quit my job to move for school and was so burnt out from working (as “essential” while everyone else was not working) that I just took time off from work for like a year and a half. Spent all my stock market savings that was basically just all my money minus the interest made because of the COVID dip. I sold at the worst time possible but chose to do that instead of just getting work or even trying to learn about getting unemployment for my “mental health” LOL.
Right in my senior year of college I had a roommate who used a draft fantasy sports book. Never knew about money lines or anything about sports period,because I was too lazy to figure out sports rules, let alone betting line math…but I wanted to be accepted as a man and thought sports would be a good way to learn and build friendships…and “investing” money into it seemed like a worthwhile trade.
He explained oveunder props. Easy as cake. You think they’ll go over a certain line and you pick that. Even easier to upload your card and make an account. I thought it would be harmless…
I made one, did okay, but no crazy bets just $30-50 MAX like every couple of weeks. Trying to get into sports and fit in with the boys…. Didn’t care too much about losing $20 here and there and that’s my problem…
I then bring this up to a classmate in our data science class in 2022 wondering if there’s ways people can track player data…who tells me about “tailing” people who post their player picks online. Never knew about that/that there was already a market (bc I was new to sports).
He tells me about a guy he follows. Guy has a site with “the best prop data”. Clearly know this other guy is just selling his services but the service seems so beneficial. “Best hit rates in the game!” “No one has data like this”. Straight snake oil salesman tactics and I’m so aware of it, but it’s like I just didn’t care. Of course it’s just like ESPN data all on a histogram and not that revolutionary, and it’s like I already know I’m signing up for getting played but I just accept it(likely because I have settled for a lot in my life). I get a membership. I think oh I’ll make a ROI worth the cost of the membership and more! Right….
That was in about March-ish I think of last year. (Yea it was, because I specifically remember the old classmate asking me about March madness…). From March to June I had losses, but nothing super horrible, I didn’t really track it but I had never spent more than $100 max and probably only spent around $175 a month which was about the rate of all my subscriptions combined. but around this time I had also just had a very traumatic experience getting robbed and abandoned drunkenly during a party on campus. Somehow I made it back from the party to my house and allegedly my roommate helped me vomit/clean up but I woke up to my wallet and phone gone.
I felt violated, confused because I couldn’t remember certain events, sad that my “friends” didn’t even have my back at certain points. I was angry and really embarrassed and depressed and felt like I couldn’t trust ANYONE around me. Of course, them feeling second hand embarrassment from me, stopped inviting me out and our interactions got so awkward after that. I felt like now my reputation was just that drunk idiot who did god knows what while blacked out. And didn’t really have a lot of support.
My gambling got worse, but I didn’t make that much money so I also didn’t really bet that much either? It’s kind of a blur around that time now and I don’t really remember but I don’t think I was on the group chats/apps nearly as much as I am now. I also deleted them around graduation time because I needed to focus and I needed to save $$$ for my move out.
Fast forward I was in okay-ish shape: was able to get an apartment and higher paying job…but my relationship was strained with my now ex girlfriend. It was bad. I redownloaded the apps during this time. I was trying to plan out our future and she was not helping me. I was basically doing everything myself in the relationship and felt like my “investment” in our relationship wasn’t going anywhere…as she was not communicating and not helping me plan, so i began using that money for bets.
Initially it was “it’s just for fun now that I have more income! I can afford it now” then it was “oh it will be like a side hustle”.
But I got worse. I felt so disconnected and burnt out from my new job in finance, also very numb to large amounts of $$ on screens all day that I started betting hundreds daily. Then tie in disconnected from my ex and now had no friends. I was numb and needed to feel something, and alcohol was not enough. I’d drink here and there but never enough to get completely trashed like before because I was scared of that.
Now remember the subscription? This sub comes with a “chat room” FULL of a bunch of enabling children and their ring leader who makes the datasets. I used to respect what the guy does but I have so many problems with his business model: advertising slightly over 50/50 guesses as a worthwhile investment, getting his data out 5 minutes before games start (obviously so he can make his picks on his own first and then tell the followers after), calling his own patrons idiots and trying to make it sound like he’s the best gambler in the world and that if we’re losing we are just “not doing it right” when he’s really using $100,000s of dollars from subscribers to make his for fun bets while people desperately cling to some sort of “mathematical explanation” for why Alpha McThree is a better pick than Johnny Appleseeds.
I digress again. Basically there’s people around my age (20s) older (40s) and possibly younger all in these chats enabling each other to bet. You feel rushed because you have to “beat the prop bumps” when they move the lines. You feel constantly on edge and that anxiety feels good because of the potential payout, and then horrible when you’re off by one or two players and lose everything.
I became obsessed. It is probably the combination of the rush, the colors, the screen lighting in a more comfortable way to social media…the people encouraging you or congratulating you or worse bonding over shared loss, you start to feel in community.
Mind you, the community itself was toxic. I am part of the LGBT community but never disclosed, and there is so much homophobia and transphobia, sometimes even racism (I mean I get that I’m positing this to Reddit LOL) but it’s just weird to me as a POC who is part of this community to see all that stuff everyday and then say those are my people….and to pay a subscription to be apart of it…it felt like a weird digital fraternity. It felt “cool” to have a badge for my sports book, for people to recognize my nickname, to see the same names everyday, it felt like routine.
Everyday I’d wake up and bet. When I got COVID in December the amounts doubled and I was spending $500 in minutes instead of spread across days. I didn’t even care anymore. I’d keep playing and eventually lose it. Every single time like “I’m just gonna play enough to make my money back and pay off some of the debt and then delete everything!”
It never happens. I’m still $6k in debt, am -$230 overdraft and am now doing the one thing I really said would never do: ask my dad for help. I can’t concentrate on work because I’m so overwhelmed. I just got paid, still two weeks left and I have absolutely no money anywhere. And since I haven’t even paid my mom back the first time I am worried about asking again.
My dad doesn’t really reach out, but he texted me the other day. So instead of responding I just sent him a screenshot of my overdraft and told him I had to pay my apartment security deposit (which is true, technically) but it is really the stupid $600 bet that put me overdraft. I basically paid X amount on my credit card, didn’t see it post, told myself “maybe I forgot to do it” and said I had enough for the bets, lost three idiotic bets and then both the misses and the CC payment posted.
I feel like the “bending” of the truth will l start piling up and that things will stop checking out. He’s probably wondering how I’m overdraft and can connect two and two together (he’s seen my screenshots of bets when I was up, and asked me when I get paid and I’m too scared to say I got paid TWO DAYS AGO and am out -$2000) so I’m even more embarrassed and feel like I’m disappointing everyone.
I already owe my mom, and they aren’t even that rich at all so I feel horrible taking their money trying to pay myself back and then ending up back here again. But I am equally worried of them going nuclear and me being trapped back home/having to give up control of my bank account bc of it.
I feel stuck at my job because I need it to pay off my debt and save money/pay bills. I hate it so much, but need to stay here because of how bad the market is and I think dealing with the stress enables my behavior. I feel worse because I should have $20k saved up by now but instead I’m now total down -$26k. (The 20 I would’ve had saved plus my credit card).
So it’s just my lack of control and unnecessary purchase staring me in the face. Every day. While it takes me weeks to make even a dent in my debt. I literally have nothing in my fridge right now. I don’t know what I’m going to eat next week. And throughout all this my ex and I still talk, she still buys me lunch, she is a saint but our dynamic would not work
I’m meeting with my therapist today, and I contemplate either getting a new one specializing in addiction or stopping constantly one because of the cost but two because I’ll talk about it but I feel like I’m not even changing or doing the work…
I feel alone trying to get out of this hole and like this debt will follow me forever. I also wonder if I feel like I’m addicted to the wallowing too? Like now I have a reason to stay depressed.
How do I get better? Is there even any hope for me? I feel like I’m messing my life up and constantly at the mercy of something else and not myself… people around me have cars and solo apartments and I’m living check to check in debt with no purpose. How do I deal with stress?

My boyfriend 21M and I 19F have been together about 11 months. Our relationship is great, except that I know his parents don’t like me. He still lives with his parents, Dad M45 and STEP mom F38 who are both teachers. My boyfriend and I live about 35 minutes away from each other. I have only been to my boyfriend’s house a handful of times, and he is at my house at least once a week. The first time I met my boyfriend’s parents everything was fine. It was a normal meeting, we all chatted- nothing weird or bad at all. That was literally the last time I’ve ever talked to his step mom though. His dad has talked to me a little bit the second time I went over there, but the conversation lasted like 5 minutes. The last few months I went over there they have said nothing to me, not even acknowledging I was there. There are a few things that may be the reason his parents don’t like me. My boyfriend stays the night at my house a few times a month. His parents do not like that he stays over, they have expressed this to him a few times. That hasn’t stopped him though. He has an older brother who has a girlfriend as well. We all started dating around the same time. And I met his parents first. From what I can tell they have a better relationship, so I know that it is me they don’t like. My boyfriend recently told me that during Christmas he heard his parents referring to me as “that girl” when he wasn’t in the room. He also told me that his dad had the “use protection” talk with him but chose to include a story about his uncle got trapped into marrying a girl because she intentionally stopped taking her birth control without telling him, alluding that I may do that to him. It makes me very uncomfortable that his dad would talk about a then 18 year old girl like that. Pls that’s something I would never do, I’m in college and kids are the last thing on my mind. It just hurts cause his parents really don’t know me so I don’t understand where all this is coming from. My boyfriend has said something to his parents, and his dad said that he feels like I do not like them. I will say that I have been holding a grudge because I genuinely have been trying my best to be nice to them. I will say that over the months my boyfriend has told me about some of the things his parents do (charge him rent and refer to him as their tenant rather than son; not including him in family things) and it may have given me a bad opinion of them a bit. I know it’s only his side of the story, but I’m very protective over my bf and it’s hard to hear stuff like that. Either way this whole situation has put my boyfriend in the middle, which is something I don’t want to do to him. He’s had enough family drama in his life and I don’t want him to feel like he has to choose. He wants me to let go of my grudge and try and start over. I’m having a hard time agreeing to that. I don’t think I’ll ever see them as genuine anymore. And I also don’t want to go back to their house because of how uncomfortable and unwelcome they make me feel. So I just want to know, am I the asshole for not wanting to let go of my grudge and hurt feelings and try again with my boyfriend’s parents?

I (29 f) am a virgin… for reasons some I control and some I can’t. I started talking to this guy online a month or so ago. We’re going to meet irl next month. I asked my aunt (40 something) about how she met her second husband bc they met online. We had a nice chat, but after she left, I was at work, she sent me a text about me going on birth control. Ma’am, I am not a dumb teen. 🤣 just bc you were a teen mom doesn’t mean I’m gonna be stupid as to sleep with a guy on the first date. Like I’m almost 30! I know how babies are made. 🤣 besides, I’ve decided I’m not opening my legs till marriage. When I was a teen I didn’t care, but now I’m older I feel a little more protective of my VCard. She told me that’s smart. Yeah, I know 🤣