as someone both neurodivergent and from another culture, i only recently learned of the concept of "self-pity". this is apparently a very abhorrent action that warrants disgust from all people, including therapists, maybe especially.
as a result, i think i'm coming off this way, and as a result of these biases, instead of accessing their skills and training, i only access what i guess is their worst sides: aggression, outbursts, eye-rolling, etc. as someone neurodivergent who is constantly checking what they're doing "wrong", i get really confused, bc i must've done something and for the life of me i can't figure out what–– yes even after confronting them i just get vague answers like "it's the way you say it," (in a tone as if they're extremely burdened by my phrasing), "you say it like you're the only one".
and yet i know i'm not the only one, so i get confused. i thought that was obvious? afterwards, i started preemptively padding my phrases: "i know everyone is going through this, but...", "everyone has this problem right now, and...", spelling out "i'm not saying i'm the only one", to the point that i wondered if i should outright substitute "i" with "everyone". even trauma symptoms like foreshortened future was dismissed with the fact that there are other people who also have the same issue but worse. i wondered if a problem was only valid in therapy if that issue affects only you, which is impossible.
so, instead of learning how to cope with my feelings or problems, or that there's other ways to deal with them than how i've been, i meet pointed dismissal.
for example if i detail my experience with undiagnosed adhd (like taking hours to finish something), instead of learning possible reasons why or how, i get met with an aggressive, irritated, "well if you didn't do anything about it, then what do you expect?"
after this session i started wondering if he genuinely meant i should've taken myself to the doctor at 8 years old and asked them to consider i have inattentive adhd. it's just not logical. i have many teen students with diagnosed adhd who (no judgment!!) don't do as much to work around their symptoms the way i did undiagnosed, so i know how "not doing anything about it" would look.
ppl in general also either become really cold and pointedly "deny" sympathy (not what i was looking for to start) or simply hand me sympathy like a pacifier, leaving me unsatisfied, infantilized, baffled, and no other perspective for the issue i opened up about which i now never want to do again. this, i recently learned, is from the assumption of "self pity". i've apparently been submitting unsolicited requests for sympathy.
i'm not sure how to phrase issues without sounding apparently disgusting and insufferable. i really just state the facts with an underlying neutral regard that i have apparently erroneously mutually expected.
to save my own self-respect and image and have access to help in therapy (instead of damage), how do i present my issues without sounding like whatever this damning "self-pitying" social concept is?

LONG POST WARNING
Hello everyone,
My partner (24F) and I (25M) returned home from our 3-week Japan trip last week and due to us using this sub a lot during our planning I thought it would be helpful for other current planners to upload a trip report.
Our main interests are Japanese traditions and history, street style/culture, and food so keep reading if these interests are mutual. Read to the bottom to see how much we spent plus some tips and disappointments.
Prelude
We were caught up in the madness at Dubai airport during our layover. Long story short; Airport (and the rest of Dubai) flooded and caused all the flights to be cancelled. What was meant to be a 5-hour layover turned into a torturous 36 hour wait. No staff to be seen, crowds of people arguing, fighting, and crying. We queued for 12 hours to get a new boarding pass for the next flight to Japan. We were meant to fly to Haneda but settled for Narita as we needed to get out of that place as soon as possible but still ended up missing our first day in Tokyo (should have had 5 days). We can’t complain too much as some of the people I spoke to on emirates were in the airport for up to 5 days before getting a flight back to their departure destination. Oh, and our baggage was missing with us only receiving our checked in bags on day 19. Cheers Emirates.
Day 1
Arrived in Shinjuku around midnight. We went straight to Don Quiojte to buy some replacement cosmetics and clothes. The combination of no good-quality sleep for 48 hours and the stimulating nature of the store was very intense! We then started to walk back towards the hostel and passed a Ichiran, so dropped in for some 2am ramen. Not the best ramen I’ve ever had but was still very good for the price.
Steps: 21,643 (includes some airport steps)
Day 2
Woke up and ate the free breakfast at the hostel (this turned out to be a really good money saver for the whole trip as we are not huge eaters in the morning anyway, but it was good to get something light in us before a long day walking). We then walked through the Shinjuku Gyoen Garden – saw some late blooming cheery blossoms and overall, it was a really beautiful botanical garden.
The next stop was Meji Shrine and a walk through Yoyogi park. The shrine was cool to see, especially as it was our first one in Japan. Saw a middle-aged man wearing denim hotpants so short that his balls were hanging out?!?!
Walked to Shibuya to see the scramble. This was cool but also felt it was a bit underwhelming at ground level but the view from Shibuya station walkway was wicked. Lunch was at a conveyor belt sushi place on the top floor of this department store right next to the scramble. This would be higher than average quality sushi in Europe, so it blew our minds that it was available on the top floor of a department store and for so cheap.
Shimokitazawa – We picked up some bargains at 2^nd street and I treated myself some Japanese jeans from a small Demin shop called Bears. The guy in the shop was super helpful and friendly and even tailored the trousers to exactly my size.
In the evening, we first had a poke around Golden Gai and then headed towards Shibuya and stopped in a cool bar where the owner was mixing vinyl while he mixed your drinks (think it was called Q Bar).
We had previously bought tickets to a gig at Circus for one of my fav rappers who I’d been wanting to see for a while. Also really enjoyed seeing the local Japanese warm up acts. Stayed until 5am and then go the train straight to the Tsukiji outer fish market. Was there way too early and had to wait roughly an hour for thing to open. Went to chill by a bench for a bit and by the time we went back to the market it was rammed! Went to bed around 8:30am.
Steps: 32,159
Day 3
We woke up at 2:30pm, got ready, and headed to the Bunkyo civic centre for the free observation deck. We heard it wasn’t meant to be the best Tokyo skyline view but for a free attraction we thought it was very good! Jimbocho book town was also very cool to see. We had a peak into a couple adult movie/magazine stores where I don’t think the owner appreciated our presence as western tourists.
In the evening, we first went for Ramen at Motenashi Kuraki in Asakusa Bashi. Honestly probably the best Ramen I’ve had to date. I ordered the Black Pepper Shio special, and it blew my mind. Even though the staff didn’t speak English they were very accommodating for my partner who doesn’t eat meat (pescetarian but will brave a meaty broth).
We then had a stroll around Akihabara and played some dance mat games in the arcades before heading back for an earlyish night.
Steps: 28,680
Day 4
I couldn’t sleep so got up around 3am and did some admin stuff to try and get our bags back to us ASAP. Chatted to people in the hostel for a few hours.
We arrived at Senso-ji for around 8am. Wasn’t too busy at this time and the temple was impressive. Went for a coffee down the road and had a chill for about an hour before heading into Asakusa. Got admission to the Drum museum which was wicked. Only 400 yen each and had the whole place to ourselves to smack some big fucking drums and make as much noise as we wanted.
We then started to head towards Ueno but made a slight detour to Kappabashi Dougu street to peruse the Japanese chef knives and other cookware. Grabbed lunch from a 7/11 and went and sat in Ueno park which was super busy. There was some food market event on which loads of food stalls had set up. There was also a stage with some J-pop performers and people dressed as ninjas dancing in the crowd. Weird to say the least. By mid-afternoon we were pretty tired so headed back to the hostel for a nap.
In the evening, we headed down to Harajuku and stopped by Big Love records. My partner is really into vinyl, so this was definitely a highlight for her. She picked up Wu Tang 36 chambers in case you were wondering. We then went for food at Afuri as my partner wanted to try the Vegan ramen to which she said it was ok but nothing special. My cold dipping noodle dish was very tasty, however. We then stumbled across this vinyl listening bar called Bar Music on the 5^th floor of this pokey building on the outskirts of Shibuya for a few drinks before bed. There was such a good vibe in there and the cocktails were super good for the price. If you’re looking for a romantic spot, then this is the place to go.
Steps: 31,818
Day 5
Today we headed to Kyoto on the shinkansen around midday after a slow morning chilling in and around the hostel and catching up on some sleep. Checked in to the hostel and had a walk around downtown Kyoto, stopping at 2^nd Street to buy some more clothes.
In the evening, we headed to Kodai-Ji to see the shrine lit up at night. We couldn’t believe how few people were there as it was stunning and truly magical place to be at night. It also has a bamboo grove (much better than Arashiyama, see below). The bar for Kyoto shrines/temples had been set very high.
Walked down Pontocho alley and stopped at a yakitori restaurant which was just ok. We knew it was going to be average when we looked around the restaurant and it was just western tourists dining.
Steps: 25,255
Day 6
First thing in the morning we rented bikes and cycled across the city to Arashiyama. Parked the bikes at the train station and walked up through Arashiyama. We were expecting it to be busy but there were so many people it was almost impossible to move. Had a look around the bamboo grove and was slightly underwhelmed after our visit to Kodai-Ji so we took the tram and then bus up to Kosan-Ji. This was very much worth the 45-minute journey as there was only one other group there and the temple nestled between the trees overlooking the river was breath-taking. On the whole, Arashiyama was way too packed during peak times to enjoy and with everything else Kyoto has to offer we wouldn’t say it was a must see.
We then picked up the bikes from the train station and cycled back across Kyoto taking the long route to explore and get lost. Once we dropped off the bikes, we went for another explore and this time went into WeGo for more clothes shopping. At this point we’d pretty much matched the amount of clothing that we had packed in our checked-in luggage that was still stuck in Dubai.
After a nap we walked towards the metro and stopped at a Katsu restaurant as we wanted to try something different, and it was pretty good. For the price of 1300 yen each we got so much food/sake and left stuffed.
Fushimi Inari in the evening. Like Kodai-Ji, we would recommend visiting Fushimi Inari at night. Firstly, to help avoid the crowds (we got there around 9pm and there was hardly anybody there) and secondly as seeing it lit up at night is a nice change. It was however slightly creepy at night, especially as it was lightly raining. My partner started to get a bit scared once we saw the signs to be careful of the wild boar and monkeys haha. We didn’t make it to the top of Mt Inari as the rain started to get heavy but still very much enjoyed walking through the hundreds of tori gates, stopping off at the shrines and soaking up the history.
Steps: 23,686
Day 7
Today was a late start as even after 8 hours sleep the 25k plus steps a day was starting to catch up with us.
We took the metro to Shimogamo Shrine in north Kyoto. It was very peaceful and quiet however temple fatigue had definitely set in at this point. We then walked through Kyoto to the beginning of Philosophers path. We had seen on this sub that people recommend skipping it unless its Sakura season however we disagree. The path along the river is so pretty and atmospheric, along with the fish gently swimming along in the river.
Kyoto Hand Crafts Centre – if you have the money then this is a great place to pick up souvenirs.
Pre-booked Sushi Iwa for a 15 course Omakase. The food was amazing, but it came to an eye watering 28k yen each. The difference for our western palettes between mid-range sushi and exceptional sushi is negligible. Nonetheless it was a good experience and I’m glad that we did it.
Steps: 23,751
Day 8
Today was an empty day in terms of things we wanted to do, so used it to walk the city and explore.
We checked out the Nishiki market and ate various fried foods on sticks which were all pretty tasty. We then walked northwards, stopping for coffee before reaching the imperial palace. By this point we were very much bored of temples and structures of similar architecture, but we actually ended up enjoying walking the palace grounds and seeing the buildings more than we thought and would recommend it to those who find themselves in north Kyoto.
A leisurely walk back down towards downtown Kyoto, stopping off at a wicked standing soba joint. Forgotten the name but their curry soba was delicious.
Chao Chao gyozas (only veggie gyoza place we could find) for our evening meal before a night cap at the bar across the road before bed.
Steps: 23,304
Day 9
Shinkansen to Hiroshima arriving around 11am.
Checked into hostel and then went straight to the A-dome, peace memorial and museum. We thought the museum was very moving and captured the horror of the events that unfolded very well. A must see for sure.
Okonomiyaki at Okonomimura and then some vintage clothes shopping in Hondori.
Went back out for food in the evening and ended up getting Okonomiyaki again. This time it we enjoyed it a lot more than we did at lunch (probably because we got it covered in cheese). There are a few streets by Hiroshima station with lots of bars and restaurants on top of each other, much like Golden Gai in Shinjuku, however they are not super touristy and has a more laid-back feel to them.
We then went to some bars in the city centre. The best one we stumbled across was called Tropical Bar Revolucion. It was on the 8^th floor and the smoking balcony overlooked the city. Plus, the beers in there tasted so good and I’m not sure why.
Steps: 23,299
Day 10
A hungover morning. Headed to the Hiroshima National Gardens. Going to some gardens is my go-to hangover activity as its low effort, relaxing, and feels productive. These gardens in particular were great and we really appreciated the signs explaining the history behind the space. Overall, we enjoyed this more than the national gardens in Shinjuku.
Public baths near Dobashi in the afternoon. If you’re feeling brave enough to get your kit off in front of 10s of strangers, then this is a good experience. Male and female baths are separate. Can’t go wrong for 400 yen.
Went for a drink at Bar Pretty and then realised the effect of golden week on trying to get a table walking into a restaurant. Walked around for about an hour with no success so settled for food from a department store food court. Sounds miserable but the food was pretty good for the price, and it was busy in there, so it still had an atmosphere.
Steps: 29,487
Day 11
Miyajima Day. Took the ferry to the island arriving at 10:30am. The Ryokan staff met us at the port and collected our bags to take back to the hotel.
Had a mooch around the port area before doing the hike up Mt Misen. The climb to the top on a hot day is not to be underestimated. Sweating buckets, but the route and the view from the top was amazing and one of the standout highlights of the whole trip.
After descending Mt Misen, we bought some beers, oysters and, ice cream and sat along the beach wall and chilled in the sun for a couple hours. The hotel staff then picked us up from the ferry terminal, we checked in and went straight to the Onsen for a couple hours before dinner. Dinner was a traditional kaiseki meal (with more courses than I can remember) served in the banquet hall with the other guests.
While the staff converted our retro ryokan room and set up the futons we had a few more beers before bed.
Steps: 20,803
Day 12
Today we had a chilled morning on the island, having a stroll and stopping for some coffees. We then took the ferry back to Hiroshima, stopping for Okonomiyaki one more time, before taking the shinkansen to Osaka.
Checked into our hostel near Namba and went out for a walk around 8pm. When looking for somewhere to eat we walked past a sign for a vegetarian Indian restaurant called Shama. After nearly two weeks of pure Japanese food we were craving some variety so decided to head in. Located on the basement floor of a particularly run down looking building the restaurant was not the most glamorous. Barely enough space for 10 people, it was hot in there. A constant stream of people was coming in and out of the restaurant and we were lucky enough to walk in when there were two spaces available. From sitting down at the table to receiving our food we waited just under an hour. This would be enough to put most people off but fuck me the food was good when it did finally arrive. We got a selection of 4 different curries, naan breads and samosa. We left stuffed. If you’re in the area this is definitely a place worth checking out.
Steps: 25,502
Day 13
Our first stop of the day was the Umeda Sky Building. Not suitable if you are scared of heights as the glass elevator made our stomachs drop slightly. The views were impressive but we thought the price was a bit steep at 1500 yen each.
We then spent the afternoon wondering about near Namba and Shinsujibashi dropping into shops and picking up some food.
For dinner we made a reservation for a Mexican restaurant near Dotonbori. Massive margheritas, nachos and enchiladas. The food was great, and it shows by how busy the place was still at 10pm. It had been open since the late 70’s with the décor to match and it had a great atmosphere.
Steps: 27,290
Day 14
Checked out Tsuruhashi and Korea Town. Loved the market – dimly lit maze of numerous food and clothing vendors. Stopped to have some Korean stew and pancakes and it was delicious. One of the best meals of the trip.
Shinsekai in the evening. What I can describe as the armpit of Osaka. We loved it. Dirty? Yes. Rowdy? Yes. Rough around the edges with a red light district to top it all off. We had Kushikatsu to finish the evening off. Fried stuff on a stick – of course it going to be tasty but it wasn’t exactly flavour town.
Steps: 23,777
Day 15
Took the train to Minoh and hiked up the trail to see the waterfall. Hike was easy in comparison to Mt Misen and the waterfall was very cool to see. Had a wonder around Minoh stopping for some lunch at a Ramen bar.
We went to the Team lab botanical gardens in the evening. It was very awe inspiring seeing all the installations lit up.
After sampling Japanese McDonalds (I had a burger where the buns were made out of rice) we went for some drinks at Zerro. We liked this bar a lot, the guys working there were very friendly and it had a good vibe.
We then sat and watched the skaters at triangle park with some beers from the konbini before going to see Dj Masda at Circus until around 4am. This area of Osaka was such a vibe and came back here a few times over our 6 days here. Overall, a very fun evening.
Steps: 26,130
Day 16
Woke up chronically hungover but powered on and went to see a baseball game. You’re allowed to bring food and drink into the stadium (as long as alcohol is in plastic/paper cups) so we grabbed some beers and snacks from family mart. We had no idea what was happening but the atmosphere was electric and we enjoyed getting pissed and cheering.
Had a nap and then went to Hafez for middle eastern food. The food was good but not amazing, nothing in comparison to my local middle eastern restaurant back home. Chilled around the Namba park/Big step area. Loved this area so much, we are big into street fashion and culture so this place really ticked some boxes. Lots of skaters and street wear stores concentrated around here. Got an early night watching Battle Royale back at the hostel.
Steps: 22,065
Day 17
Today we went to the Umeda area. Popped into some shopping centres and had Omurice for lunch. It was tasty but not something I will crave when back home. Good experience trying it though. We then walked through Yodoyobashi along the rivers and got gelato and sat in the rose garden. The sun was beating down and we enjoyed just chilling in the sun eating our ice cream.
Compufunk Records were holding a party in their store. Decent gaff with some very welcoming and kind people to party with until the early hours.
Steps: 21,267
Day 18
We reluctantly left Osaka for Hakone today. Very sad to go but onwards to the next adventure. Took the shinkansen to Odawara and then the Hakone romance car to Gora. Checked into our Ryokan and relaxed in the Onsen for a few hours.
Went for a walk around Gora and had dinner at the Ryokan before watching Predator in bed.
Steps: 16,926
Day 19
Today we did the Hakone Loop, starting early in Gora.
Started with the Open-air museum and it was great. We loved the installation and ended up spending 3 hours slowly making our way round. Got some cool photos as well for the gram.
Ropeway to Lake Ashi. This was absolutely terrifying. You have to swap cable cars 3 times on the way over and the warnings of the service being suspended due to the wind was announced at each stop. I’m not going to ruin the surprise, but one section made me literally freeze in terror due to the winds outside so try to do it on a calm weather day.
We then took the pirate boat (bit underwhelming) across the Lake and stopped for some soba noodles and a wander around. Unfortunately it was way too cloudy to even get a chance at seeing Mt Fuji.
Train to Kamakura and checked into our super cute traditional hostel near the beach.
Dinner at an Izakaya from the hostel owners recommendation. Food great and beers slipped down a treat. First time I tried Yuzu Kosho as well – I’m now addicted to the stuff and literally cover all my food with it.
Steps: 19,512
Day 20
A slow start to the morning. Weather was pretty bad but we still managed to hit all the main sights in Kamakura. Big Buddha was a refreshing sight from the temples. Did some shopping up Komachi Dori. Highlight of the day was Hukokaji temple. It was so peaceful and zen in the rain with its very own matcha tea ceremony backdropped by bamboo forest. This turned out to be our second favourite temple/shrine we visited, just being beaten by Kodaji.
In the evening we went for Sushi at a conveyor belt place. Figured this would probably be my last Japanese sushi of the trip so devoured 7000 yen worth of sushi and beer. Went back to the hostel and invited some of the other guests to drink with us. The owner of the hostel had some bayberry homebrew, so we got stuck into that.
Steps: 20,494
Day 21
Enoshima Island is just a 25 min train from Kamakura. Started off the day by walking to the top of the island to get French toast and a beer with a lovely view across the bay. We then headed up the Sea candle to check out the observation deck, still the illusive Mt Fuji hides behind the clouds.
We then bought admission to the caves beneath the island which was pretty cool. I won’t ruin the surprise but there’s something waiting for you at the end of one of the caves.
Had an explore around the rockpools near the caves and took some cool photos. We then had a pizza with fish on which was pretty crazy. Walked around the island a little bit more and I picked up some more Japanese denim which wasn’t the cheapest but the quality of the trousers are great and will last me a lifetime.
Back to Tokyo in the evening.
Went for Izakaya around Asakusa and popped into a couple bars. One was called Not Suspicious and the whole bar was covered in handwritten notes by patrons. Very touristy but quite cool at the same time. Our favourite was a drawing of Mario saying It’s a Me Muthafucka.
Steps: 25,903
Day 22
First stop was Don Quiojte to pick up some Yuzu Kosho (if you know you know) and weird flavoured KitKats.
Kappabashi Dougu street to purchase a fine Japanese carbon stell Santoku. Honestly in love with this knife so much. The people at the store were very happy to hear exactly what I was looking for and even let me try before you buy on some daikon radish.
While in Asakusa I had to return to the place where I put the best thing in my mouth in Japan. Motenashi Kuroki. Switched it up this time and had their classic Shio ramen plus the duck rice as a side. Honestly this place is amazing, and you have to go there if you have time. They aren’t veggie/pescy friendly so my partner went for one last round of sushi round the corner. We met up at a massage chair parlour and spent 30 mins relaxing in the chairs.
We had a bright idea to watch the sunset one last time so headed over to the rooftop park on a department store in Shibuya. Sipping on an ice cold Kirin, the sun slowly dropped behind the distant mountains and we knew our trip had come to an end. How symbolic.
Flight at 11pm from Haneda.
Steps: 23,187
On reflection:
I honestly think this trip was almost perfect in terms of hitting our interests and travel style. There was a good balance of doing the typical first time visit to Japan sights and activities while still exploring and seeing what we came across in the moment.
It hard to pinpoint exact highlights of the trip as everywhere we visited had so much going for it in different ways. We loved the rugged and trendy vibe to Osaka, and I think this would be the city I would most want to live in for a considerable amount of time (If I had to choose). Miyajima was also stunning and a great overnight trip with the Ryokan experience. We also underestimated how much we would enjoy Kamakura with its laid-back surfer vibe and access to Enoshima Island.
One random memorable moment that has stuck with me was when we landed at Narita airport, we took the limo bus to Shinjuku. As the driver pulled away, all the staff at the station turned and bowed in unison. It felt so special to first observe a culture totally opposite to the one I grew up with and was at this point I knew I had embarked on the trip of a lifetime.
If I could go back and change something I would probably miss out Hakone and do an extra day in one of the major cities. This isn’t because we didn’t enjoy Hakone, but we feel like it’s a place that needs more time to soak in what’s going on around you (plus the weather was bad when we were there). This being said the Open-Air Museum was amazing and we enjoyed it more than the Teamlab botanical gardens so the trip up the mountains was worth it just for that.
So, how much did we spend per person (not inc flights)?
Accommodation - £765pp
Given that we spent a couple nights in Ryokans raising the average price slightly, we were pretty happy with the accommodation costs. We stayed in a mix of private room and shared dorm hostels and pretty much all of them were spot on. Travelling as a couple meant that anywhere with a private room split the price between 2. The only hostel we didn’t like was the one in Hiroshima, there wasn’t anything in particularly wrong with it, there was just a really bad vibe from the owner and other guests.
Transport - £344pp
This includes shinkansen to and from all the major cities as well as our suica top ups for metros and buses. Unless your itinerary is something like 3 days Tokyo, 2 days Osaka 2 days Kyoto then there really isn’t any point getting the JR pass now that the price has increased.
Activities – £280pp
It is hard to give an exact amount for activities and food as 1) I didn’t track what we spent our cash on and 2) my partner and I would take in turns paying for things like temple admission. That being said I’ve allocated 25% of the cash we spent to activities such as temple admission. Activities includes our baseball tickets plus club entries as well as temple and museum admissions etc.
Food – £962pp
As above, its hard to give an exact amount for food. On the whole we tried to eat cheap with possible, especially at the start of our trip. There were a few expensive meals peppered in plus we ate out twice a day towards the end of our trip as we realised we were under budget.
The total is a bit skewed as this includes all the alcohol we bought in bars as well as the konbini trips for beers and cigarettes. I estimate that booze accounts for around a third of the total per person. If you would like to do Japan on a budget, reducing the booze will make a big difference.
Shopping/Souvenirs/Gifts – £607 (just me)
We went hard with the shopping. We didn’t actually receive our checked in luggage until day 19 so we had to buy all new clothes and cosmetics. If this wasn’t the case, then I don’t think I would have spent so much (airline is comping us for the additional clothing bought anyway). I also bought a fairly expensive chef knife and Japanese denim pieces, plus lots of gifts for friends and family. Obviously, this number could theoretically 0 if you are on a serious budget and did no shopping but I really underestimated Japanese shopping, especially thrifting. Also, given our cheap choices when it came to accommodation we could afford to splurge. However just to note my partner spent less than half than I did on shopping.
Total: £2958 (582,628 yen at time of writing)
I kept within my budget of £3000. I definitely got a bit frivolous with the cash in the last few days or so, if being as careful as I was towards the start of the trip, I think the total would be closer to £2500.
Disappointments
Takoyaki. We thought it was going to be all about the octopus but were disappointed with our balls of sloppy goo surrounding tiny chewy pieces of octopus. We tried it twice and couldn’t get behind it. Sorry Takoyaki fans.
Arashiyama. Way too busy, especially around the main station and bamboo grove. If it’s the bamboo you are going to see, then Kodaji is a much better spot.
Dotonburi. Albeit we were there in golden week, and it was pretty busy. However, I get the feeling this area has fallen to the past its golden days title and has become a bit of a cash cow for places selling spiralised potatoes on a stick. The area around Namba park was a better option for us.
Tips
Konbini. Absolute life saver for snacks and drinks on the go. The food quality for a convenience store is higher than most other countries so we had no problem with grabbing a meal from one to help keep within our budget.
Don’t over pack – even though we didn’t get our checked in bags, I still packed light so had plenty of space to bring stuff back. Emirates give you your allowance by weight rather than number of baggage so we could check in additional bags on the way back.
Don’t be scared of hostels. If you don’t want to brave the shared dorms, then most hostels offer private rooms with just the shower and toilet shared. Obviously, it’s cheaper if there are two people sharing a room.
Don’t stress about cash. Most places take debit/credit card and if they don’t, you’re never more than 5 minutes from a konbini ATM.
For us, golden week didn’t seem that big of an issue. No problems booking shinkansen around GW. We spent most of GW in Osaka, as such it was going to be busy anyway so maybe we didn’t see much of a difference from normal numbers in the spring.

I'm 24F he's 24M and we've been dating for 4 years.
I've had a couple of sexual encounters before him and I had one "serious" boyfriend that lasted 5-6 months and even we ended things nicely, in time we stopped talking and never felt like wanting to talk to him again. I suppose it is normal, since he did not talk to me as well. (Neither of them did) Never felt the need to talk again with any of them, It never came to my mind, even less now that I have my boyfriend. I hope they're fine and having a good life, all of them but even if I liked and/or loved them in the past, I don't feel the need to talk to them so they can confirm that they're fine, I just hope and assume they're fine and I know most of them are because I live in a small city and I've seen them around.
So that's what happened with my boyfriend.
He had one girlfriend before me, he was deeply in love with her for over a year and dated almost another year, no sexual encounters, they ended up breaking up and with time they stopped talking to each other.
Last week he told me he had a wet dream about her, (I sometimes tell him too because we both know that we don't choose what we dream) and after that he started telling me how he was curious about how she was doing, every day that week he would mention it a couple of times, how he hopes she's fine.
That made me quite sad because I felt like he was missing his ex.
It's been years since I thought about my exes that deeply, rarely the thought comes to mind but I remember how much I love my current boyfriend and I lose any interest in them and I feel happy to have found better. I feel like he's doing the complete opposite, like he has been talking about her multiple times a day for over a week and I don't know how to feel about it but it certainly makes me sad.
2 days ago he asked me how I would feel if he talked to her again. I was honest. I told him that I'm not the kind of girlfriend that will tel him who he can or cannot speak with, that he doesn't have to ask for permission but the fact that he had been missing her that much lately made me feel like he was starting to gain feelings for her again, I told him that I don't want to lose him and I'm afraid of him catching feelings for her again. He told me that he loves me and only me.
Yesterday he told me that after years of no contact, he talked to her and she said to meet up. He said that she's such a nice girl and he wants to befriend her again.
I'm just afraid of one or both of them catching feelings for each other again, am I crazy/jealous or is it justified? I just know that I will overthink a lot and feel super insecure when they'll meet and I don't want to be. What can I do?
I will never control what he can or cannot do or say but I don't want him to befriend her again, I just don't understand why he wants to befriend the girl he had a romantic interest in and I don't want to lose him. Like I'm okay if he has girl friends, he does. I just don't feel right when he had a romantic past with the girl, and the way he has been talking constantly about her... It just hurts thinking of them talking everyday. I don't know, I just want to be a good girlfriend but not a stupid one. Help.

I'm 30 and 10 years ago I declined HRT (MTF) in order to keep up appearances and enter a hetero-normative relationship.
That ended a year ago, I spent some time wallowing, but sure enough all these feelings have started coming back to me. Obviously, in a decade, time has done it's thing to my body as is.
I suppose I just want to hear that it isn't too late. Did anyone else transition later in life? Did you get the results you wanted?
Now I'm feeling this way again, I'm so angry at myself for missing the opportunity when I was 20. Especially seeing how far trans rights and acceptance has come in that time.
Any help is greatly appreciated, thank you. 🩷

There's one thing I've felt and realised that no matter how many friends we surround ourselves with in real life, there are moments when loneliness can still creep in and take hold. That's when this wonderful world of internet comes in handy, and I guess it's finally the time for me to give this a try.
I'm a 22 year old Indian guy who is currently pursuing his masters degree in Italy. And being in an entirely different country on my own sometimes takes me to that loneliness territory. I'm a 6'1" tall guy (if that matters to you) and I crave those funny & deep conversation that are something more than just being shallow. You know the conversation, where every text makes you more elevated, and you can't help but just cherish that wonderful moment. The conversation flows naturally, and you keep on talking to each other irrespective of the time that has passed.
Love is one of the most exquisite things in this world, and it can hold different meanings for different people. But love for me, is all about care and affection that you show to your partner, that rock-solid assurance that no matter what, you've always got their back. It's when you eagerly anticipate their texts and feel like the luckiest person once it pops on your screen, when their presence, whether online or in person, gives you the reason to start your day with a huge smile. And I've seen my own shares of ups and down in my love life, but that doesn't make me lose any hope, and hopefully I'll soon find my ONE.
A little more about me: I mostly spend my free time analyzing or studying the movies, shows or music. I appreciate this world of entertainment a lot because they are like my escape from this reality. So, if you're the same, then we can nerd over our favorite movies & music. I also like to write about stuff sometimes, mostly about entertainment or some story/thought that popped into my mind.
But recently, I have been reading a lot of true crime stories. So, if you have some recommendations or insights into this genre, then you better hit me up, I'm always open to know more about this.
What am I looking for: I'm looking for a like-minded lady who is around my age (20-24 years old) and shares my passion for meaningful conversations. I'm interested in getting to know someone who enjoys talking about their day, what have they been up to, their dreams, their ambition, basically everything they feel comfortable sharing. If you're looking for a partner who is genuine, respectful, and eager to build a meaningful connection, then let's start talking! We can begin with a conversation on Reddit and if we both feel comfortable enough, let's move to some other platform and see where this takes us.
What can you expect from me: You can expect a genuine and understanding guy who is truly interested in getting to know you. You can also expect a funny and deep conversation, I'm a good listener and enjoy hearing different perspectives, so feel free to share your thoughts and experiences with me.
I can be a bit flirty sometimes if I feel like we have a genuine connection, so I hope you wouldn't mind that. I believe that a little bit of banter and humor can go a long way in building a connection, so don't be surprised if I try to make you laugh or catch your attention with a cheesy joke or two. However, I also respect boundaries and will never push beyond what makes you feel comfortable.
I'm a private person, so I'm NOT much inclined towards sharing pictures right away. I like to make sure that we both have trust and confidence in each other, and once we have established that, then we can definitely exchange photos and more.
Oh damn, I've just realized that this has become a very long post, so if you've read this in its entirety, give yourself a pat on the back. Out of so many things you could have read in this time, you chose to read my paragraph, and I already appreciate you for that. So, if any of these loong lines makes sense to you, please message me, and let's have some great conversation. I'll be waiting, and I hope you have a wonderful day. You deserve that.

When I met her, she and I became friends immediately, she was sweet and nice and she was understanding cause I tend to over share and she actually was there for me, this was 4 years ago. I was in 12th and now we are graduating from the same university.
We were never in the same classes even though we had the same courses, she used to call me to hangout with her in semester 1 and 2, I used to refuse every time and that died down, I met a bunch of good people along the way until semester 4. She and her guy were fighting and she “needed” me as a support, I left everything for her, I spent every day and night talking to her since. She used whine when I made plans with my other friends and unnecessarily bitch about them and when I got uncomfortable, she told me that I was “no fun” anymore, so I dropped them.
She ranted every single day. It was always about her fighting w her ex or her not liking someone, unnecessarily commenting about someone’s body, the way they dressed, everything. I used to feel uncomfortable but didn’t say anything cause she’d somehow make me feel guilty? Made me date her ex’s friend even though I wasn’t into him? And she blamed me for that not working out?
I knew her whole life story? And she’s claiming that I hide things from her but whenever I talk she ends up talking about herself? Up until 1 semester, I was very very insecure about my body and decided to change that, I lost weight and she used to make these very subtle passive aggressive comments sometimes and never once asked about my progress. She was very good at this tho, make me feel special but then asserting unnecessary dominance and trying to compete? The day I cut her off, she used her trick of guilt tripping me and then called right back and started crying and apologising.
But I made a list of (few out of all) things that struck out for me as soon as I cut her off:

1. Bitched about my friends and guilt tripped me into isolating myself from them by telling me that I chose them over her even tho I spent most of my time w her
   1. Then tries to “push me towards them(my friends)” after a they tried talking to me and I stopped responding to them because she used to convince me not to? And now she wants me to reconcile with them even tho I told her they were done w me lol
   2. Bitches about every person and acts all sweet and nice to them.
   3. Expects me to be loyal and hate the people she hates (she’s very problematic, in the sense she had problems with everyone who were close to her and made it seem like they were the problem and everyone believed it??) but when I dislike someone to a point it irks me, she tells me that that person helped her a lot. Double standards.
   4. Never accepts faults.
   5. Everything is an act.
   6. The most insecure person I’ve ever met and never told me about their true feelings? (I thought I was insecure until her)
   7. Wants me to just validate her feelings and god forbid I ever give her an advice.
   8. Claims to having done everything for me during our friendship. Being there for me exactly 2 times when I have been with her and for her numerous times over the span of 4 years.
   9. Got into a relationship because she wanted to go on double dates with her former bf and his bf w me, was in a week long relationship and he lost interest and told it to her and she chose to humiliate me when I got drunk and chose to tell me on the day of my first ever concert.
   10. Conveniently chooses what is right or wrong.
   11. Talks about herself 23/7. The one hour in a week is what I talk in total, I am her emotional support dog.
   12. When I confronted her about her not knowing me, she used sarcasm to deflect the situation on to me, making me feel like the crazy one. Never tried to know who I was.
   13. My surname is known to have money, so if a person who is popular and has my surname or doesn’t have it, according to her, they are talking to me only because I have that surname.
   14. Says that she’s happy that I’m not like other girls she mentioned by saying that I’m happy for her for all the things she’s bought or done and the fact that I pay for my share every single time cause I don’t like owing someone money and relates that to herself but in reality, she’s just like the “other girls” she’s mentioned.
   15. I’m not allowed to go out every Saturday like she does but I am allowed to go sometimes, that’s on a very rare occasion and most of the time it’s with cousins and my elder sister.
   16. Went on an international trip w cousins and she constantly told me that she wants to go to the exact same place w her friends, never once asked me for the pictures of my trip just kept whining about how she hasn’t been there?
   17. When she got caught cheating on an exam, her own (former) boyfriend did not go with her to solve it or be there for her, instead I went so that she doesn’t feel bad, didn’t eat my lunch didn’t study for the exam we had in an hour, and she thanked me. When I got caught for the first time recently, she left knowing that our mutual told her that I got caught and when I told her that it was sad that she didn’t even wait for me she gave me reasons and excuses as to why she couldn’t. If I were in her place, she would be fuming rn and would use that against me in a fight. This was the one that pushed me off the cliff to be very honest.
   18. She knows all my weak and trigger points. She loves to use the word “disappointment” whenever I missed one of her rants/fights

It’s been a month (officially) that I stopped talking to her, cut her off completely? And I’ve never felt better? I felt like I used to be in an abusive relationship? But what actually inspired me to write this post and make it public is because she told people things that I confided with her and it triggered me. And thank you to that one Redditor whose stories have resonated with me and helped me get through this.
Thank you for hearing me out and please do give advices on how to effectively not give a shit about her. If any of you want to share your experiences, you’re always welcome.

I'm not going to vent here about my freshman relationship. I'll just. Explain below She was taller, half Japanese and sexually and emotionally controlling and abusive. Her goal was to financially cripple me to prove to our small town highschool she 'wasn't racist'
So this show is on netflix. THIS. FUCKING. SHOW. Mother issues, absent father, difficulty with peers and bullying. Having her arranged lover sell her out and enable her first abuser (because neglect is abuse when your are a minor and depend on someone for your very survival). This is a horrible and terrifying way to live.
None of it excuses the frustration that ringo feels at either being told he is disruptive or a full on burden to her cause. To find out over and over that she deliberately put people in harms way because she wanted to kill her father and his co-workers (brothers?)
It is not an excuse to burn down the palace because she wanted to get his revenge. It was a public disaster for everyone, men, women, children, Japanese folk of all kinds have no homes.
The castle the ginger man; Abaja Fowler Was destroyed. That sigh was it used to lure just hold him or was it an artifact of her culture?
And yet she learns to be softer;
'okay I'll teach you', 'this isn't your fight it's mine', 'keep sword father from time and harm.', 'you shouldn't do that ever again I earn money now'. 'How much for one night? How much for three?' 'I wish you a success day of business' 'The broken blade fits well in your hand' 'Can you walk?'
I've only seen this series once and I'm trying to rewatch. I as a black man who turned to anime to comfort myself in a horrible southern highschool And now I know other people would have fought harder. Mizu given the choice would have done more; He should be dead by drowning it was nothing I did to deserve her (my ex) wrath.
THIS is how gendernon-conforming half Asian people should act. Focused, and flawed, unwilling to listen to reason,faithful to everything he believes without a second thought.
For once netflix did something right.

TL;DR: She had enough of my drinking, but we still live together. What are the odds of us getting back together if I get this problem taken care of?
My girlfriend and I had been happily (or so I thought) living together for six months in an apartment then another 6 in a rented house (with 6 months left and no way to cut the lease). We fought very little in that time, we had chemistry like crazy, and we supported one another in our respective careers. We’d take care of each other when we were sick and do anything for each other. We’d go on trips with respective family and both sides were asking when I’d pop the question. And it was soon, I was starting to look for engagement rings. We would regularly talk about what our wedding will be like, the honeymoon, how we’ll raise kids, etc. The only time we had tension was when I went a little too far on my drinking, we would occasionally get crossways when I went too far. This happened maybe three or four times over the course of the 2 year relationship. Bear in mind I’m 5’ 3” and 140 lbs sopping wet, so alcohol works fast on me, hangovers were a regular occurrence over the weekends. She seemingly put up with it and even when I’d say I need to stop, or actively try to stop, she’d just say “as long as you’re not driving.” She’d drink with me often, but she’d stop much sooner than me. It was steadily getting more frequent, to the point I’d sometimes be too hung over to work in the office and instead work from home (I work in IT).
One weekend we were hosting her best friend and her husband visiting from out of town and her husband and I have become really good friends. Trouble is he’s a big fellow nearly 300lbs who can put a 12 pack away in an hour and I have a habit of trying to keep pace with other drinkers. On the last night they were here, we got some beers and hung out, but me and the husband got way too carried away with our drinking playing music and talking loud, we were up in the early morning being loud enough for my girlfriend to hear everything and she never got sleep that night. We finally wrapped up, I got in bed with her and proceeded to throw up everywhere. She promptly kicked me to the couch (rightfully so). The next day she was furious with me (again rightfully so) and wouldn’t come home until that night, she wouldn’t talk to me. I figured she just needed time to cool off and I needed to take my sobriety seriously this time.
The next day was filled with tension when we got home. After some awkward conversation, I finally asked “Are you still mad?” and she responded, “I’m not mad…I’m just done. We’re done. We’re roommates now. Maybe we’ll get back together by September [the end of our lease], maybe not. You talk about having kids and family, but you act like a teenager! I just can’t do this with you anymore!” She then ran to her room to cry, I was heated and ready to beg but knew better than to do that, so I left and went for a walk around the neighborhood to cool off before I said something stupid and totally ruin my chances. I was totally blindsided, but I was able to step away and think. When I came back she was making dinner, as calmly as I could, taking a more negotiating tone than a begging one, I said “Can you give me one more chance? We’ve built up so much together, I was so excited about our future together, I love you, I love your family and I’m willing to give up my drinking for this. I’m going to stop.” Her response “It’s not like I’m moving out with another guy tomorrow, so what’s the plan, how is this going to be different?” I said “I’m not just stopping for myself now, now I know I have others being affected with my future with you on the line. I’m going to get counseling.” Her: “You’re so good at telling people things they want to hear, you bold faced lied to your parents and your pasture that we weren’t living together [NOTE: I have very conservative parents and church so I lied to them about me living alone rather than with her, that never sat right with her], so you understand how I can’t really believe anything you say right now?” I said I do and that I will get professional help and that the lying will stop, that it’s a cowardly thing to do and that. I moved into the guest bedroom.
The following weekend, I decided to go to my hometown and stay a couple nights with my parents. I told my folks everything, our living situation, the history of our living situation, and my alcohol problems. My parents forgave me and assured me that she’ll likely come back around, just give it time. When I got back home, I told her “I’ve told my folks everything, they know. The lies are coming down. I’m also going to tell my pasture everything, I’m also getting help for my alcoholism. I’m going to get things cleared up and I’d like to pick things up where we left off if you’re willing. And whether we work out ultimately or not, I want to thank you for making me realize how bad a problem I have and I’m sorry I had to hurt you to realize that.” She responded, “I don’t know if we’ll ever go back to where we were, but you had bad labs [CONTEXT: I had a kidney transplant and get frequent labs done to check my health status], you were shaking all day Sunday (the day before we broke up), and you STILL did what you did that night! When you got sick I thought ‘Oh my God, this is how he’s going to die.’” I told her I am doing this for my health, told her about the audiobook I’m listening to about all the health effects alcohol has, and that I hope through this maybe we can reconcile, but I don’t expect an answer anytime soon so no pressure. We then went back to watching TV togethe
Things remained a little cold, but over time we’ve warmed up. My car broke down a few days later and she was very proactive about helping to drive me around and we started laughing together, flirting a bit, restoring the chemistry we had before. Even on my birthday, she bought me a cupcake and took me to my favorite restaurant. At nights when I’m a little quiet or go to bed early, she’ll knock on my bedroom door and ask if I’m ok. I also have been proactive around the house doing little things for her like making coffee for her before she gets up and I have to go to work or working on the garden (something I’d never do during my “buy-beer-watch-TV” cycle). We watch movies together again and get food together and run errands with each other, she’ll even point at places saying “we need to check [that place] out sometime!” It still gets a little tense when we go to bed, as we’re still sleeping in separate beds. She’s also been planning solo trips on weekends, which she didn’t do before. I’ve been ensured by many friends and family (including some on her side) that she’ll come back around. I haven’t drank at all since then (29 days) and I’m about to meet with a one on one therapist while I’ve been attending AA meetings to help myself and to give each of us some space and a little time apart.
We are back to talking like we did before, joking around, watching movies together, etc. but she still wants to do a lot of stuff without me now, but again understandable I suppose. Does this sound like we’ll be “just friends” from now on? Anyone else been in this situation? I’ve already stated to her my intention to change and she’s seeing that I'm taking the first steps in making those changes. I ask because she did seem to keep a window open for us to come back. Again I know this is EXTREMELY early to tell....it just hurts so much with her this close, but so far away at the same time, this is honestly just torture....and it’s all my dumbass fault…

I'm new to Reddit, so I hope you can bear with me. I want to know if I'm being to over dramatic over how often my boyfriend has to play the game. I ‘M23’ need advice on how to tell my boyfriend ‘M34’ that I want to spend quality time with him rather than just watching him play video games. It's starting to make me unhappy. He usually starts playing around 9 or 10 pm and goes on until 5 or 6 am. I sometimes watch him play, but since I have work, I can't do it every night. The problem is that I can't sleep at normal hours because even if I leave the room (we live in a one-bedroom apartment), I can still hear him through the walls. This lack of sleep is really affecting me because I work from home for my college. He sleeps during the day so I try to stay quiet and respect him but then when he wakes up he goes shower and then gets on the game for a little bit before doing anything thing else. The other day for example I talked to him about maybe letting me use the TV during the day since he sleeps and I would like to be able to do things like chill just like he gets to game and that's how he relaxes but he got so upset and said “ I'll just get a tv for the living room so you can go out there and I can stay in here and play the game all I want” but I never stop him from gaming or anything like that I always give him his time and either sit and watch quietly or leave the room altogether. The day after that he was gaming after he woke up and was sniffing too much and he kicked me out of the room so he could focus which really hurt my feelings not long after that I was watching a movie he didn't really like he paused it and said “I don't want to watch this I'm gonna game” but he saw that I was visibly upset so he let me finish the movie and made it seem like it was the hardest thing he had to do or like I owe him for letting me finish a movie I was watching. I just want to know if I'm being dramatic about the situation and should just let his game or am I right for wanting him to spend some time with me off of the game and let me be able to chill in the way that I let him?
TLDR: I(M, 23)love boyfriend(M, 34) but I'm not happy with him as much because he has to be on the game for hours at a time and he never has time do so anything with me or anything cause he has to make sure he has time on the game.

For those of you who are divorced, how long after filing/finalizing did the desire for connection come back? And how long did it take for you to actually take steps towards meeting people again?
My divorce was finalized last year and I’ve felt so averse to anything dating related since. I don’t plan on dipping my toes back into the dating pool until next year if I’m honest. When the topic comes up, most people ask when I’m gonna start dating again or if I’m seeing anyone. If I tell them I’m just not interested right now, they often suggest that it’s normal to feel that way but I should try anyways.
I’ve never been one to be “casual”, even to my former friends with benefits. I’ve always been very present and connected with people as it comes naturally to me. So the thought of “just hooking up” doesn’t work for me. My hook up partners are generally like a good friend dynamic that just happens to dip into intimacy too. Also considering that I am heavy into leather, I don’t just jump into relationships or pick up play. Due to the nature of the things I’m into, I need that deeper trust with someone in order to feel comfortable topping and being in that space.
My divorce was largely due to severe betrayal and I’m still feeling numb to it all most days, even though I don’t think about my ex-wife specifically. It’s like sitting with emotional whiplash that severed my metaphorical spine. The cherry on top was her attempting to stay friends after it was all said and done (I declined) like do you not remember what you did to me lol
Sorry for the long post y’all lmao. I don’t have many friends that are in my situation right now, or if they are, they deal with it in drastically different ways. I joke that I am in my boring and healing era but there is definitely desire to be in community again one day. Just don’t have the capacity for it yet 🥲
In the meantime, I am enjoying the love and support from my long time platonic friendships that are filling my emotional cup 🩷 The people that get it have been so understanding and I know I’ll never forget their support during the last year.

I(23M) have been going to a gym since 2-3 months and I noticed a girl who is quite attractive and I felt if something can work out between us. I am that typical introvert shy guy who may not cross their comfort zone to take the step. For like a month, it was just that looking at her for maybe 1-2 second ensuring that its not staring and she doesn't realise if I'm looking at her. I even tried to approach by going towards her, but all of a sudden I take a step back, and game over! After a couple of days, I realised that the guy coming along with her in the gym might be her boyfriend, so I stopped even that 1-2 second gaze and started focusing more on the workout and that indeed started showing results in the physique.
And of course, I am actually working out seriously in the gym and not just into those things. So, recently I saw noticing some new type of things since couple of weeks. As I started noticing improvement in my physique, she started looking at me when I do some workout especially something where heavy weights are used. And not just she, but some other girls as well! And day by day, I noticed her looking at me more frequently. At first, I was curious to think that despite having a boyfriend(My Assumption) coming along, she is looking at me. I guess, she realized that I came to know that she was looking at me. so for couple of days she stopped looking for a while which started again after some days. For couple of days, when her guy was not coming, the frequency of her looking at me was even more. And after couple of days, we had an unintended interaction on the music played on the speaker. Then, I realized, now I should approach her and not to worry about the comfort zone. From like asking about equipment things, I should make a way ahead. Couple of days back, I finally made the move by like introducing myself and surprisingly she was telling more about herself than what I was telling about me and was asking more about me. And after listening to her words it sounded like she might be interested, but expects me to take the step.
Now, what I think is that I may be getting misleading into this and catching wrong signals. Yes, I do have a thing for her, but not in a serious way. Its just that at least having an interaction with a hot chick. What I'm confused with is, if I am going right into this and continue more and more interaction or what I'm thinking might be true? And if, she is interested, how should I continue interactions, how to approach without looking creepy considering where I come from - introvert personality?
I am still focusing in my workout and its being improved day by day. So, I do have a faith that these events aren't affecting my workouts in any manner.

The group walked in the Steelblade standing on one side of the room, ready for combat.
“What the?” Turtle said with confusion. What he didn’t know was that Steeltalon was standing on the other side of the room, challenging Steelblade. Sonora could see that Steelblade’s eye visible to them was clouded.
“He sees Talon.” Sonora said. “Look at his eye, it’s clouded. He can’t actually see the room he’s in.” Steelblade turned to the sound of her voice and Sonora saw that only his gray eye was clouded, his still green eye was clear.
“Great.” Steelblade growled, turning to Steeltalon. “And now you’ve brought my daughter into my mind to discourage me.” The bigger steelwing laughed.
“Oh I haven’t.” Steeltalon said defensively. “The group summoned by the queens did. My intention is to break you.” Steeltalon snarled.
“Won’t happen.” Steelblade countered with a snarl. Sonora watched as Steeltalon’s face shifted from smug to anger.
“Why are you so stubborn?” He snarled at her father. “You know you’ll outlive your family for generations. Why do you try so hard to keep them?” Sonora could see her father’s clouded eye begin to clear.
“Because they’re my family.” He growled softly. “They are the reason I keep fighting. The reason I keep going.” He paused as he walked towards Steeltalon. “The reason I deny you control of my body!” Steeltalon lunged at Steelblade. But Steelblade dodged and slammed Steeltalon’s spirit to the ground. “Try again asshole. I dare you.” Steelblade snarled at the spirit. Steeltalon gave one final growl before disappearing. Steelblade’s leg slammed onto the ground beneath where Steeltalon previously was. He looked at the returning group, a smile on his face. “Guess I still have some willpower.” He joked. Meerkat raced to him and hugged him, tears around her eyes. “There there.” Steelblade said softly as he wrapped his wings around his wife. “Talon isn’t in full control.”
“Not yet anyways.” Meerkat sobbed. Sonora and Boron walked towards the sobbing sandwing and put their wings around her.
“Talon won’t win.” Boron said with a comforting tone. “Dad stopped him multiple times. He can do it again.”
“Even now, Blade is fighting Talon.” Moon added. Meerkat snapped up her head to look her husband in the eyes terror. Steelblade sighed with a slight glare in Moon’s direction.
“It’s true.” The steelwing said. “He’s trying to gain control still.” Steelblade chuckled. “But with my family here, he won’t get through.” Steelblade coiled his neck around Meerkat’s and hugged her. “With you here, he won’t do anything.” Sonora had never heard her father’s voice so full of love before. Probably because he didn’t need to comfort his crying wife.
“What am I to do?” Meerkat asked as her sobbing began to slow. “How can I help you?” Sonora watched as Steelblade carefully ran his talons under Meerkat’s chin so they could look each other in the eyes.
“Just being here for me is enough.” Steelblade said softly. Sonora’s parents sat there staring into the other’s eyes before Meerkat pulled Steelblade in to kiss him.
“I’m not even going to say anything this time.” Sonora turned to see Cavemaker leaning towards Strider, his face angled towards Strider’s ear, as they walked in.
“Cheeky bastard.” Steelblade said, smiling at the nightwing. Cavemaker barked out a laugh in response.
“Well I guess now is as good a time as any.” Moon said, walking up to Sonora. “You ready?” Sonora nodded.
“Ready for what?” Her father asked.
“We’re going to try the mind thing again.” Sonora replied. “But with me.” Steelblade looked a bit skeptical but nodded.
“Our medical room is-“
“Where we’re currently staying.” Strider cut off the steelwing.
“You and Cypress are staying in the med room?” Steelblade asked with confusion.
“She may no longer be a medic, but she still finds comfort being near medical supplies.” Strider explained.
“With dragonets?” Steelblade asked, worry in his voice.
“They actually stay with me in my room.” Sonora’s aunt said as she appeared next to Cavemaker. “Cypress and Strider get to look after them, but don’t have to worry about them getting into the medicals.” Roadrunner explained. Steelblade nodded with hesitation before leading Meerkat to the bed, aware she needed rest and comfort. Everyone else left the couple to be alone. Jellyfish jogged to walk next to Sonora.
“Are you sure about this?” Jellyfish asked, worry in her voice. Sonora brushed her wing against Jellyfish’s. She flinched slightly but didn’t pull away.
“What else is there to do?” Sonora replied. “This is our only other option besides checking the entire continent again.” Jellyfish opened her mouth to argue, but didn’t say anything as they continued on.
Sonora laid down on the medical bed while Cypress got the knockout dart ready.
“Should just be a quick in and out if everything goes right.” Moon said.
“And if it doesn’t?” Jellyfish asked with worry.
“Can’t be much worse than what’s already happened.” Jellyfish’s father replied. “The crew of this restaurant has been through almost everything together.” Strider paused before continuing. “He’s helped us numerous times. It’s time we returned the favor.”
“Ready?” Cypress asked as she walked to one of Sonora’s sides. She nodded in reply. “Here goes nothing.” Cypress said as she pricked the dart in between Sonroa’s scales.
Sonora woke up in the familiar abyss that her father often challenged Steeltalon.
“Alright.” Moon said, materializing next to her. “Let’s see if we can find him.” Sonora nodded as they walked on.
“Well. If it isn’t a search duo.” They turned around to see Steeltalon behind them. “What do you want?” He growled.
“We want you out of my father’s head.” Sonora snarled at the bigger steelwing. He laughed.
“No can do.” He replied with a smug tone. “He will suffer for ruining my plans and killing me.”
“If you just wanted him to suffer.” Moon started. “Then why haunt his daughter.” Sonora could see hesitation in Steeltalon’s eyes.
“I actually didn’t choose to haunt this hybrid.” He said, snarling hybrid with a flick of one of his tails. “If I had my way, all of my power would be focused on my worthless nephew.”
“So you need our minds linked to stay around?” Sonora asked. Again, Steeltalon hesitated.
“Don’t even try to cast me out to fix your father.” He growled at Sonora. “Won’t work. It’s been tried before.”
“By who?” Sonora asked with a growl.
“No one not even the mighty Blade knows.” Steeltalon replied. “Hell, I don’t even know them, last I heard the fucker was either in hiding or dead.”
“I guess that’s a start.” Moon said.
“Won’t work.” Steeltalon said smugly. “I’ve already gained enough power to take him over. He’s just too stubborn right now.”
“He’s making sure you don’t win.” Sonora snarled.
“I already have, just have to wait until he isn’t on his guard.” Steeltalon growled. Be walked towards them and picked up Sonora by the neck with his talons until they were eyes level. “Or he gets worn out.” He snarled. Sonora opened her mouth and shot venom out of her fangs while stabbing her tail into the steelwing. He dropped her and she was back in the medical room.
“What happened?” Jellyfish asked as she grabbed Sonora’s talons with her own. It took her a few seconds to realize that she had and let go.
“Talon was forced to haunt me.” Sonora said as she got off the bed. “He wanted to focus all his power on dad, but some of it is connected to me.”
“And he said something about someone knew how to fix this predicament.” Moon added. “But no one knows them or their outcome.”
“Well then.” Cavemaker said. “Let’s get looking.”

Okay this is in Oklahoma and a lot happened but to summarize basically I've been with this man-child for 3 years almost, I ended up breaking it off after work on Monday (mainly) because of all the issues he has but just blatantly refuses to fix. Immediately after having the discussion he flipped out, throwing things across the room and screaming at me to leave. I stayed at a friend's house that night with nothing but my bag and the clothes I had worn to work. The next day I wake up to a phone call from him where he told me not to bother going back to the apartment because he already let his mom go through all of my things. He said he told her I wanted to fight her (never said that) so she's now determined to kick my ass, and that all of her gang-banger friends now have the addresses of all my family and friends to hurt them as well (this man never remembered my phone number, no way in hell he knows anyone's address lmao but still). I have a witness to this conversation. I also was informed by one of my employees that he had come with his mother to my workplace looking for me, apparently he had been swerving through the parking lot and was acting aggressive and intoxicated. We called law enforcement out and my friend and I went back to the apartment to find it completely destroyed, multiple holes in the walls, and a lot of my furniture was torn apart across the floor, as well several paintings and art pieces that held quite a bit of sentimental value to me. I also found that my medication, makeup,some art supplies, and my medical marijuana paraphernalia has all been taken. His cat was standing on the balcony, I don't know how long she had been outside for. He was not home at the time thankfully, and we had cops standing by while I grabbed some of my things and cared for the animals. Several hours later I was at a friend's apartment on the other side of the complex after submitting the Emergency Protective order petition, id parked far down the road just in case he drove by and surprise surprise he did, I remember hearing the familiar sound of his truck before his mom knocked on the door, I was thrown in a closet to hide and dial 911 while my friend stood at the door talking to them, and thankfully he got them to leave before the police arrived. I can't imagine what might have happened if I didn't move my car down the street. I stayed with a different friend that night for my own safety. The next day went by relatively uneventful until later in the night, we got the EPO and I immediately went and made a bunch of copies before returning to my friend's house on the other side of the complex. I had been in contact with his dad who was using the tracker on his phone to keep me updated on his location, and at this point he had returned to his adoptive parents house in Oklahoma City. At around 20:45 on Wednesday we decided to head back to my apartment to take care of the animals and we found the residence occupied by a couple that none of us recognized. We quickly ran back to my friend's place and called 911, Police came out and removed them from the premesis, and they came out with bags and bags of mine and his things. The woman seemed very confused and had a baby with her, she said that my ex had given her all of it, and that I could take any of my belongings. We went through all the bags and I found several small things of mine, she claims that she was told to stay there and watch over the apartment and to pack his things for him, we got him on the phone (through his dad, I have not spoken to him at all since Tuesday morning when he called me) and he told the officers they weren't supposed to be there and that his key was stolen, and he still sounded heavily intoxicated. Finally everyone left and we went inside to find that everything had been pretty well cleaned up, but the vast majority of my belongings were missing. Adding now my PC, monitor and keyboard, a sewing machine and many yards of fabrics and notions, a cake decorating kit, a small TV and fire stick, a sweing kit from my great-great-grandmother, and a diamond necklace my mother had gotten me for my 16th birthday to the list of missing things. My jewelry box was cleaned out, anything that seemed valuable is now gone, his dad swears up and down they're going to get it all back to me but I don't think that's going to happen. We also found a bread knife with a white-powder on one side of it sitting in the living room, we suspect it to be meth or cocaine (more than likely meth, taking his mother's history and his behavior into account) but when I tried to have it tested the officer told me to just throw it out because it would just be a waste of time. That was the last big event, the last few days have been comparatively quiet aside from getting the PO amended so I can leave the apartment, and his dad texting me, begging me to drop the PO (I won't) I really want to press charges, the court Hearing for the protective order is on the 23rd and I want to be prepared for it, and I have a police report that was approved on Sunday that I have no clue what to do with.
TLDR: Crazy ex gets drunk after breakup, harasses and threatens my entire support system, destroys a bunch of my things and gives away all my valuables to his mothers meth-addicted buddies, and now is hiding behind his dad's hoping I'll drop the protective order.
Do I need an attorney? If so how do I get one? I don't have money right now as I'm trying to get a new place to live, do I still have options? I have a paper trail and witnesses to everything, what is the next step I need to take? Can I press charges for things that happened before we broke up (SA/DV??)? His parents have money and I'm afraid they won't make this an easy fight, but this man has spent his entire adult life having everything handed to him, and walking all over everyone around him. I spent 3 years trying to "fix" him and I want to make sure that after this he won't go off and hurt another girl the same way he did me. Any help is appreciated!

I have anorexia and my therapist suggested going to an ED dietition for help. I agreed and went to one appointment but freaked out immediately after and told her i need some time to think about continuing with her. I do think i will be going back in the future but right now im too overwhelmed with other things to actually give it a go.
During my therapy session yesterday my therapist mentioned that the dietition contacted her and told her she needs to “push me more” (it translates poorly in english but that’s essentially what it means). My therapist told her that’s not how it works and i’m free to go back whenever i’m comfortable.
i’m glad my therapist replied in that way but it just bugs me the wrong way that the dietition contacted her about me without informing me. I’m not sure what more they said and i’m worried about asking my therapist about it. Does this seem appropriate?

Well, the change for 25% critical would not come for free, but I think the price was way too high.
It's not clear to me how Marksmen will be able to transition to early/mid game with all these nerfs, especially compared to supports and their spike with a Legendary + Support item stacked
Removed:

• Lethal tempo
• Stormrazor

Nerfed:

• Essense Reaver
• Immortal Shieldbow (Lifesteal removed, item is useless right now)
• Navori (does not increase speel damage anymore)
• Terminus
• Recursive bow (now dealing physical damage instead of magic)
• Dagger (12% AS to 10%AS)
• Ghost (Massive nerf, CD and duration)
• Hail of blades (Nerfed only for ranged)
• Cut down
• Fleet Footwork
• Lord Dominik (5% more pen for the passive, seems like a nerf to me)

I am very much on the fence about ever having a doctor look at my cervix ever again. I can’t just go get a pap. It’s gotta be a pap AND [insert intolerable nonsense]. I can just buy my own stethoscope and do my own swabs and drop them off at the lab and pay cash, right?
WTF. I bring test results from my last doc to my new doc (I recently moved) and I let them know my pertinent medical history and what the follow up was that my previous doc recommended. Previous Doc was an IMG, current Doc is a DO - which comes out with my medical history info.
Doc doesn’t even look at the paperwork and tells me a long painful story in dumbed down vocab about how inflammation from stress causes viral proliferation (no, really? Wow, I had no idea/s), vaguely implying that I am jumping the gun or shouldn’t be in her office. Weasles her way in circles - without straight up calling my doc “incompetent” or me “stupid”. [ I mean, if you disagree, as a professional, why don’t you just straight up say so?! ] Then she reads the lab report and decides to do what my doc suggested. “Even though that’s not how we do things, we will do it just to be safe”. Yeah, I hope so, ‘cause that’s the standard of care.
This isn’t the first or even worst case of weird gynecologists I’ve run into, I could tell you stories that make you wonder why police didn’t get called. This milder version was really the straw that broke the camels back.
Why is it SO hard to find someone that just does their job without being a dick? It’s not hard! Just keep the mouth shut if it’s not relevant or helpful! If you disagree, say so in a professional manner and answer questions if there are any. What’s all this passive aggressive shit?
And where did this culture come from? It’s like the mean girls from medical school decided that the best way to assert their dominance was to go to OB/GYN and be saucy at people before peering into their vaginas. Some even have the balls to sex-shame you with their fingers already in your orifice. No, ur right, that’s not rapey or abusive at all/s 🤬

Well, the change for 25% critical would not come for free, but I think the price was way too high.
It's not clear to me how Marksmen will be able to transition to early/mid game with all these nerfs, especially compared to supports and their spike with a Legendary + Support item stacked
Removed:

• Lethal tempo
• Stormrazor

Nerfed:

• Essense Reaver
• Immortal Shieldbow (Lifesteal removed, item is useless right now)
• Navori (does not increase speel damage anymore)
• Terminus
• Recursive bow (now dealing physical damage instead of magic)
• Dagger (12% AS to 10%AS)
• Ghost (Massive nerf, CD and duration)
• Hail of blades (Nerfed only for ranged)
• Cut down
• Fleet Footwork
• Lord Dominik (5% more pen for the passive, seems like a nerf to me)

​

(I recommend reading my other post, to see all the signs i have picked up over the last few months https://www.reddit.com/Crushes/s/jAWrMretPO)
So wednesday last week i finally build up the courage to ask my crush out, and while she said yes, she also invited our three friends. It wasnt a question like “is it fine if i invite our friends?” It was more like “im inviting our friends”. Two of them said yes and on friday the four of us went to the movies and had a good time. Nothing really happend there. Then earlier today she confronted me about why i wrote to her and not just our whole friendgroup. Of course i denied and said sometimes i just write to a specific person instead of the groupchat to not disturb everybody else (which is semi-true). She then asked me if i have feeling for her and i said no. While i am probably a terrible liar, it was enough of an answer as she said “okay… good”. At first i was panicking as she basically said she doesnt like me back but the way she said it, makes me kinda confused. First up, she made sure none of our friends were nearby, just in case i guess, but also to make sure it was the least unfcomfortable as possible. Second, when she said “good” she didnt show a lot of emotions. She didnt seem line “thank god he doesnt like me” or anything like that. She also stared at the ground when she said it. Also the “good” came in kinda late, like a couple of seconds later, so it felt kinda forced/unnatural. Also if you remember from the other post, how her friend called me over her phone? Earlier when we were hanging out she jokingly said something along the lines of “all you need is sitting right next to you” and she didnt really have a reaction, which i definitly would expect, especially from her, as it was very uncharacteristic. So while she heavly implied she doesnt like me, i feel like she is lying. What do you think? And yes im am absolutly delusional and she probably doesnt like me. Thank you for your time.

I wasn't always a believer.
In fact, I spent most of my life as an agnostic, not being overly concerned with matters of the hereafter or the existence of God. Sure, I went to Sunday school as a child and was confirmed as a teenager, but beyond that, the specifics of theology were usually banished to the recesses of my mind or treated with a dispassionate, scholarly distance. If there was a God, I figured, He would be alright with me doing my best to be kind, treat others the way I'd want to be treated and help out where I could.
That all changed when, a few months ago, my OCD that had lain dormant for years, reared its ugly head once more. Although I was at this point quite familiar with the tricks my own mind could play on me, having been to therapy and on medication years before, nothing could have prepared me for my most recent obsession: Christianity, and more specifically, Hell.
It is hard to put into words just how boundlessly, viscerally terrifying it was when the realization dawned on me that my entire life, all I'd ever strive for, all my dreams, hopes, fears and regrets could very well just be the brief prelude to infinite pain for infinite time.
When I first truly grasped the enormity of the situation I suddenly found myself in, I came within inches of shutting down as a person. I spent my days in sheer anguish, the white-hot claws of anxiety constantly deep within my guts, always a panic attack away from vomiting, all while having to keep up the semblance of a regular quotidian life. Waking up at night drenched in sweat and on the verge of a breakdown became an all-too-familiar occurrence. How could the universe, along with its creator, be so cruel, so utterly draconian as to consign anyone to infinite torture, let alone save only a select few and leave the vast majority to burn forever? How could existence itself be this terrible a curse? Why even create anything at all if suffering was to be the final state of things, once all was said and done? What kind of God would do such a thing?
Nonbelief was, of course, out of the question at this point. I was essentially turned into a Christian at gunpoint, as the stakes were just too high. I became increasingly legalistic, always worried about the state of my soul and about committing the unpardonable sin. At my worst, I considered breaking up with my non-Christian girlfriend in order to not be unequally yoked, or rebuking my gay friend for her sexuality, which until that point I'd always supported without question - both actions that would have left people I love dearly devastated, but who was I to disagree with an almighty God?
I did no such thing, however, although things only really started to improve once I got back on antidepressants, which are prescribed against OCD as well. With my constant, obsessive worrying toned down to a more manageable degree, my daily life began to be somewhat livable again. I found this subreddit and realized others had faced the same tribulations as I had. I got acquainted with the works of D. B. Hart, Julian of Norwich and other Universalists, which brought me a little spark of hope, at least.
Yet, even months later, there is a perpetual, gnawing dread in the back of my mind. What if we're wrong? What if God truly does glorify Himself through the ceaseless suffering of those in Hell? I firmly believe that no human being deserves to be tortured forever, but what if God doesn't share this sentiment? I can read the arguments of D. B. Hart in "That All Shall Be Saved" and agree with them on a rational level, but as soon as I happen across a Catholic treatise on the fewness of the saved and the massa damnata or a text like 2 Esdras 7-9, I'm right back to feeling Hellfire licking at my heels. It's hard for me to justify spending any money on hobbies or leisure activities, as that might constitute being worldly. I've even mostly stopped listening to music or engaging with fiction I used to like, and when I do anyway, I feel guilty afterwards. It pains me greatly to walk through a crowd, look at all the faces of the people and imagine them burning forever in agony along with my loved ones, myself, and untold billions more.
The bitter irony is that I like the believer version of myself more than the heathen version. I swear less, I'm generally kinder, more generous and more thoughtful - but I'm compelled to be so under pain of eternal fire. I'm very well aware that this is a struggle against mental illness just as much as against reality itself, but that knowledge doesn't - can't! - make the terror go away. I'm a hypocrite as well, because although the people close to me know of my struggle with mental illness, I haven't revealed the specifics to them or tried to convert them to at least try to spare them this terrible fate. And so I remain an anxious believer, hoping for a miracle, for anything that will help show me that this kinder, more patient God who, in the end, redeems all is indeed the one true God.

Since 2020, my mother has been living in a small town in Vermont, and since 2020, she's been being harassed by her neighbors non-stop. There are some complex land rights issues involved, but the short version is that many households are set on an area of common land, and the same family who's legally responsible for care of the land has also been trying to bully everyone else out of their homes for years. They're also friends with the town officials, in that small-towny old boys network kind of way. My family has been threatened, the roads to their house made impassable in winter both for them and for emergency vehicles, and at one point the neighbor's dog killed several of their chickens. In all cases, the town refused to take any action because the land is "private property". We even have the animal control officer on tape saying that our vet told him our animals were dangerous, despite the vet saying they never even spoke. But of course complaining to the town about the town only gets you so far.
A couple of weeks ago, apparently somebody made a complaint to the town about my mother's dog. At the time, she was unable to attend to the issue for medical reasons, which I informed the town of, but they made no effort accommodate this at all and moved forward to impounding the dog without giving us any chance to deal with any problems. It's not clear to me if the complaint is valid or not; what I do know is that the town has previously refused to respond to complaints about animal behavior we have made on the grounds that they have no jurisdiction there. They also failed to provide us with the proper impoundment paperwork until well over 48 hours after the dog was taken, even though the town ordinance clearly states that it must be provided within 24 hours.
We were already planning to rehome the dog because it's just not safe for him to live there, but now the town is refusing to give him back until he's been held for ten full days (which would be 5/20). That means missing the date he was supposed to go to his new home, not to mention a huge amount of emotional damage to both him and my family.
We're in the process of filing an order against stalking already, but all I want to know now is, how can we get the dog out? The town won't work with us at all. We just want to get him someplace he's happy.